#Wacky Architecture

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

THE BIGGEST BITE IN THE MONSTROUS BURGER HISTORY OF CLASSIC, VINTAGE LOS ANGELES.

PIC(S) INFO: Mega spotlight on “The Burger That Ate L.A," a now legendary and world famous burger joint on Melrose Ave. in the shape of a giant cheeseburger. "This amazing attempt at wackiness was designed by Solberg and Lowe Architects and created by owner David Alderman. "

MINI-OVERVIEW: "We all know that programmatic architecture in Los Angeles was very popular in the 1920s and 1930s, but here’s an example of a programmatic structure, during the 1980s and 1990s… The Burger That Ate L.A. was a latecomer in Los Angeles' venerable pantheon of fantasy architecture. It ranked up there with Randy's Donuts and Tail o' the Pup.

The Burger That Ate L.A. held its own on trendy Melrose Ave. The bun-shaped dome once devoured the corner of Stanley Avenue. The unconventional facade (with sesame seeds) was shaped like a giant cheeseburger had glass bricks forming as ketchup and oozing with onions. The structure also appeared to have a missing bite chomping on City Hall."

-- ALISON MARTINO'S "Vintage Los Angeles," "The Burger That Ate L.A.," published June 15, 2024

Source: http://martinostimemachine.blogspot.com/2024/06/the-burger-that-ate-la.html.

[evan-collins90]

AMC Studio 30 Theatre - Houston, TX (1997)

"What the design attempts to do in the 110,000 sq. ft. space is simulate a movie studio backlot and the soundstage where guests become part of the action, and the experience "rekindles the magic and memory of movie going."

Elements from sound stages and studio road cases make up the central lobby space along with a guest service desk. Images of Hollywood's glamorous stars of the past add enchantment to the balcony walls. The space is divided into three themed areas that "transport guests into fantastic worlds of Animation, Action/Adventure and Cyberspace." The food concession stands within each area carries through the theme; "Fizz, Sizzle, Pop"; Wildebeest Feast"; and "Quantum Bits." The 30 auditoria are located off the soundstage lobby and within the various themed areas.

The architecture seems to come alive in the Animation area. The space is designed to resemble an animation cel: "flat, two-dimensional, cartoon-like graphics are outlined with black lines, filled with color and applied on an exaggerated scale." The Fizz, Sizzle, Pop concession's identity and blimp directional signs seem to float in a blue sky with flat, cut-out clouds. The setting for Action/ Adventure recalls a rainforest with heavy hanging leaves, bamboo and rock "carved" directional signs. The custom wall covering features petroglyphs of cave people carrying popcorn, megaphones and movie cameras. The fiber optic eyes peering from behind the leaves in the Wildebeest Feast stand change color. They also appear above rock outcroppings down the corridor. Patrons are invited to explore an abstract, futuristic world in Cyberspace where the floor and ceiling are the same color and brushed aluminum columns rise partway to the ceiling. To create the illusion of "endless space." custom light fixtures project beams of light along the walls and backlit graphic images have neon edges. Various colored lights and a high-tech fluorescent green/orange acrylic sign help to define the Quantum Bits concession area in Cyberspace."

Designed by Kiku Obata & Co.

Scanned from the book, Entertainment Destinations by Martin Pegler (2000)

[sealhaus]

How it feels to randomly obsess over the apartment of an OC you never talk about

I was going for something between beetlejuice house and wacky pomo

[kathybluecaller]

kept having ideas for Martha March but have been too busy to actually draw them so might as well do them now :p

doodle batch 1/?

[ecbanda]

[marywoodartdept]

Wacky Races Gargoyles

This week, Nicola, our Animation blogger, shares some killler sketches and an awesome end product

[rainbows-caught-on-film]

I miss California...

[im-still-a-robot]

Everyday I wonder if its too late to get really into infrastructure and buildings

[just-ornstein]

[JK]  My first job was as an Assistant Producer for a video game company called Interplay in Irvine, CA. I had recently graduated from Boston University's School of Fine Arts with an MFA in Directing (I started out as a theatre nerd), but also had some limited coding experience and a passion for computers. It didn't look like I'd be able to make a living directing plays, so I decided to combine entertainment and technology (before it was cool!) and pitched myself to Brian Fargo, Interplay's CEO. He gave me my first break. I packed up and moved out west, and I've been producing games ever since.

[JK] I loved my time at EA. I was there for almost a full decade, and learned a tremendous amount about game-making, and met the most talented and driven people, who I remain in touch with today. EA gave me many opportunities, and never stopped betting on me. I worked on The Sims for nearly 5 years, and then afterwards, I worked on console action games as part of the Visceral studio. I was the Creative Director for the 2007 game "The Simpsons", and was the Executive Producer and Creative Director for the 2009 game "Dante's Inferno".

[JK] I haven't played in a long while, but I do recall that after the game shipped, my wife and I played the retail version for some time -- we created ourselves, and experimented with having a baby ahead of the actual birth of our son (in 2007). Even though I'd been part of the development team, and understood deeply how the simulation worked, I was still continually surprised at how "real" our Sims felt, and how accurate their responses were to having a baby in the house. It really felt like "us"!

Now for some of the development and lore related questions:

[JK] So I ended up in the incredibly fortunate position of creating the shipping neighborhoods for The Sims 2, and recruiting a few teammates to help me as we went along. 

Around the same time, we started using the Buy/Build tools to make houses we could save, and also bring them into each new build of the game (correcting for any bugs and incompatibilities). With the import tool, we could load Sims into these houses. In time, this "vanguard QA" process turned into a creative endeavor to define the "saved state" of the neighborhoods we would actually end up shipping with the game.

On playtesting & the leftover sims data on various lots:

Basically, we were in the late stages of development, and the Save Game functionality wasn't quite working. In order to test the game properly, you really needed to have a lot of assets, and a lot of Sims with histories (as if you'd been playing them for weeks) to test out everything the game had to offer. So I started defining a set of characters in a spreadsheet, with all their tuning variables, and worked with engineering to create an importer, so that with each new build, I could essentially "load" a kind of massive saved game, and quickly start playing and testing. 

It was fairly organic, and as the game's functionality improved, so did our starter houses and families. 

The thought process behind the creation of the iconic three neighborhoods:

I would not say it was particularly planned out ahead of time. We knew we needed a few saved houses to ship with the game; Sims 1, after all, had the Goth house, and Bob Newbie's house. But there wasn't necessarily a clear direction for what the neighborhood would be for Sims 2. We needed the game to be far enough along, so that the neighborhood could be a proper showcase for all the features in the game. With each new feature that turned alpha, I had a new tool in my toolbox, and I could expand the houses and families I was working on. Once we had the multi-neighborhood functionality, I decided we would not just have 1 starter neighborhood, but 3. With the Aging feature, Memories, a few wacky objects, plus a huge catalog of architectural and decorative content, I felt we had enough material for 3 truly distinct neighborhoods. And we added a couple of people to what became the "Neighborhood Team" around that time.

Later, when we created Strangetown, and eventually Veronaville, I believe we went back and changed Pleasantville to Pleasantview... because I liked the alliteration of "Verona-Ville", and there was no sense in having two "villes". (To this day, by the way, I still don't know whether to capitalize the "V" -- this was hotly debated at the time!)

Pleasantview:

Anyway, to answer your question, we of course started with Pleasantview. As I recall, we were not quite committed to multiple neighborhoods at first, and I think it was called Pleasantville initially, which was kind of a nod to Simsville... but without calling it Simsville, which was a little too on the nose. (There had also been an ill-fated game in development at Maxis at the time, called SimsVille, which was cancelled.) It's been suggested that Pleasantville referred to the movie, but I don't think I ever saw that movie, and we just felt that Pleasantville kind of captured the feeling of the game, and the relaxing, simple, idyllic world of the Sims.

Pleasantview started as a place to capture the aging feature, which was all new to The Sims 2. We knew we had toddlers, teens, and elders to play with, so we started making families that reflected the various stages of family life: the single mom with 3 young kids, the parents with two teens, the old rich guy with two young gold-diggers, etc. We also had a much greater variety of ethnicity to play with than Sims 1, and we had all new variables like sexual orientation and memories. All these things made for rich fodder for a great diversity of families. Then, once we had family trees, and tombstones that carried the actual data for the dead Sims, the doors really blew open. We started asking ourselves, "What if Bella and Mortimer Goth could be characters in Sims 2, but aged 25 years? And what if Cassandra is grown up? And what if Bella is actually missing, and that could be a fun mystery hanging over the whole game?" And then finally the "Big Life Moments" went into the game -- like weddings and birthdays -- and we could sort of tee these up in the Save Game, so that they would happen within the first few minutes of playing the families. This served both as a tutorial for the features, but also a great story-telling device.

Anyway, it all just flowed from there, as we started creating connections between families, relationships, histories, family trees, and stories that we could weave into the game, using only the simulation features that were available to us. It was a really fun and creative time, and we wrote all of the lore of Sims 2 within a couple of months, and then just brought it to life in the game.

Strangetown:

Strangetown was kind of a no-brainer. We needed an alternate neighborhood for all the paranormal stuff the Sims was known for: alien abduction, male pregnancy, science experiments, ghosts, etc. We had the desert terrain, which created a nice contrast to the lush Pleasantville, and gave it an obvious Area 51 vibe.

The fact that Veronaville is the oldest file probably reflects the fact that it was finished first, not that it was started first. That's my guess anyway. It was the simplest neighborhood, in many ways, and didn't have as much complexity in terms of features like staged big life moments, getting the abduction timing right, the alien DNA thing (which I think was somewhat buggy up until the end), etc.  So it's possible that we simply had Veronaville "in the can", while we put the last polish on Pleasantville (which was the first and most important neighborhood, in terms of making a good impression) and Strangeville (which was tricky technically).

Veronaville:

But my personal favorite was Veronaville. We had this cool Tudor style collection in the Build mode catalog, and I wanted to ship some houses that showed off those assets. We also had the teen thing going on in the aging game, plus a lot of romance features, as well as enemies. I have always been a Shakespeare buff since graduate school, so putting all that together, I got the idea that our third neighborhood should be a modern-day telling of the Romeo and Juliet story. It was Montys and Capps (instead of Montagues and Capulets), and it just kind of wrote itself. We had fun creating the past family trees, where everyone had died young because they kept killing each other off in the ongoing vendetta.

[JK] You know, I have never seen The Lone Gunmen, and I don't remember making any kind of direct references with the Strangetown Sims, other than the general Area 51 theme, as you point out. Charles London helped out a lot with naming Sims, and I'm pretty sure we owe "Vidcund" and "Lazlo" to him ... though many team members pitched in creatively. He may have had something in mind, but for me, I largely went off of very generic and stereotypical ideas when crafting these neighborhoods. I kind of wanted them to be almost "groaners" ... they were meant to be tropes in every sense of the word. And then we snuck in some easter eggs. But largely, we were trying to create a completely original lore.

[JK] Well, I think we kind of pushed it with The Sims 2, to be honest, and I remember getting a little blow-back about Bunny Broke, for example. Bunny Broke was the original name for Brandi Broke. Not everyone found that funny, as I recall, and I can understand that. It must have been changed before we shipped.

We also almost shipped the first outwardly gay Sims in those neighborhoods, which was bold for EA back in 2004. My recollection was that we had set up the Dreamers to be gay (Dirk and Darren), but I'm looking back now and see that's not the case. So I'm either remembering incorrectly (probably) or something changed during development.

In general we just did things that we found funny and clever, and we just pulled from all the tropes of American life.

[JK] The alien abduction started in Sims 1, with a telescope object that was introduced in the "Livin' Large" expansion pack. That's when some of the wackier ideas got introduced into the Sims lore. That pack shipped just before I joined Maxis in 2001; when I got there, the team had shipped "House Party" and was underway on "Hot Date". So I couldn't tell you how the original idea came about, but The Sims had this 50's Americana vibe from the beginning, and UFOs kind of played right into that. So the alien abduction telescope was a no-brainer to bring back in Sims 2. The male pregnancy was a new twist on the Sims 1 telescope thing. It must have been that the new version (Sims 2) gave us the tech and flexibility to have male Sims become pregnant, so while this was turned "off" for the core game, we decided to take advantage of this and make a storyline out of it. I think this really grew out of the fact that we had aliens, and alien DNA, and so it was not complicated to pre-bake a baby that would come out as an alien when born. The idea of a bunch of guys living together, and then one gets abducted, impregnated, and then gives birth to an alien baby ... I mean, I think we just all thought that was hilarious, in a sit-com kind of way. Not sure there was much more to it than that. Everything usually came from the designers discovering ways to tweak and play with the tech, to get to funny outcomes.

[JK] Possibly we were just testing the functionality of the Wants/Fears and Memories systems throughout development, and some stuff got left over.

[JK] I can't remember, but that sounds like something we would have done! I'm pretty sure we laid the groundwork for more stories that we ended up delivering :) But The Sims 2 was a great foundation for a lot of continued lore that followed.

--

I once again want to thank Jonathan Knight for granting me this opportunity and taking the time from his busy schedule to answer my questions.

[jetskisonyourmoat]

Alex and Alt J (2018)

An old interview I’ve always loved and wanted to transcribe ☺️

Transcript below ☺️⬇️

Transcript:

Begins with host preamble

Richard: Hey Linda

Linda: Hey Richard

Richard: I've gotta ask you what did you think of this record the first time you heard it?

Linda: Hmm, it was surprising wasn't it? It was so different to AM that I remember hearing the first songs and going no, oh no, this is indulgent, oh no what has happened here. Then I kind of got more songs into it and I feel like I fell into this very cinematic, almost this vampire, hotel sounding world. That I then really liked.

Richard: I feel like it's very Los Angeles, and I kind of feel like he's looking at this like an outsider, being an Englishman, looking at this world. I find Los Angeles a very alienating place and I think, not to speak for Alex, but he's looking at it from an outside perspective as well. So he creates all these characters. Even the artwork reminds me a lot of the architecture of Los Angeles as well, so he's really kind of gone into a world of his own with this record and it really reflects in the music that he's made. It's so different to AM and it's really interesting to hear what Arctic Monkeys fans make of it.

Linda: Here's something that I'll say about it in terms of it following on from AM. I feel like there is this almost typical trajectory where a band will push that even further when they get to the next album where you imagine these stadium shining choruses. So, if the alternative to this album is that they would have made a stadium shiner album, I'm so glad they made this record. I'm so excited that they did something a little bit wacky.

Richard: It's very brave

Linda: Yeah (laughs)I don't know how people are gonna feel about it

Richard: Which usually record companies don't want. We don't want a brave record we want a hit record.

Linda: Yeah

Richard: But listen I'm really curious to hear this interview. You basically hung out with Alex Turner, you got to spend some time with him. He's not an easy person to interview. I've interviewed him twice and I've found him pretty awkward. How did you find him?

Linda: I think it was one of the hardest interviews I've ever done. Honestly, he was there we had a great amount of time together. We were there for about an hour sitting in the Capital Records Studios. So we're sitting where they record the Rat Pack albums and he's using the same microphone as Frank Sinatra and he's ready to go in the morning. And he I don't think has talked about these songs before or talked about the album before.

Richard: I reckon this is one of the first interviews he's done for this record, Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino. It's out now so lets have a bit of a dive into what this record is all about.

Start of Interview with Alex

Linda: Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino, what is it?

Alex: Well it's the record yeah

Linda: Where did that idea, and that model and therefore the album come from?

Alex: The model you mean the record sleeve? That model. I think the title come from, I liked the idea that the record would have the name of a place, because records and songs that I love, when you really fall in love with it it does seem like a place like you go and you can keep going back there and you sort of sometimes me move in there for a while I think.

Linda: Yeah

Alex: I started work on this in my studio in the basement at home and this zone became known as the lunar surface amongst friends. The reason for that, you know there's like the conspiracy theories about Stanley Kubrick faking the moon landing and I think there was this idea I was going in this room on me own and working with these machines on this music. I think there's just this idea of like what's going on in there and there's this idea of like faking a lunar landing. Sort of became synonymous with what we were doing in there. Tranquility base is the site of the first like, the moon landing and I just saw those words written down on these cups that I've got, glassware. And (laughs) and I wrote the line because it seemed to make send to name the record after this place.

Linda: All of these, kind of like you say, records, they are a place and they are a world that that artist has created

Alex: I think so, possibly more than anything else I've done, and that sort of working by me self might have something to do with why it is the way it is.

Linda: Can I talk a little bit about how you not only created that world in the musical sense but that you physically created it too?

Alex: Emma, who works with Ian and I, we were having a meeting when everyone started to hear the music and she's like, I don't feel like- it doesn't feel like we can just cob a picture of the band on the cover and lob it out with the music. And that like stayed with me, that was when we were in London like before christmas and I came back here and just started like becoming quite obssessed I think with the idea of making the artwork. I quickly got to this place where i thought , well if that's the name of the record, an architectural model seems like what should be on the cover. So then I started hinking about how you do that, cause I suppose you can get someone to do that and I don't know. Eventually I just fucking got a load of cardboard and like a knife and started hacking it up.

Linda: Did you know what you were making or did you kind of…

Alex: No it was like a-no not to begin with. I started off, I drew a, it was as simple as it's the sixth record so i drew a six sided shape and it was like- made a right mess from there.

Linda: How long did this take you?

Alex: Couple of months I was at it. It's funny we're having this serious conversation about this cardboard.

Linda: Yeah, i'm kind of picturing you holed up, almost obssessed, like being out at dinner but thinking about using a razorblade

Alex: It's much worse than that, its- yeah it was a strange time. Where it all came together, what do you call that the denouement was. There's this restuarant called house of pies and I was driving back with a car full of cardboard one day. And the house of pie sign revolves and I was like when I'm working on this stuff it's in the studio where I'm working on the record and the machine- the 8-track machine that i recorded some of the stuff on in the beginning, this revox reel to reel A77. I'm driving past house of pies and I'm thinking how can I make a revolving sign, and it's like you obviously turn the revox on its side and stick the sign in that. Cause I think- I remember when I was finished I was thinking we probably don't need to tell anybody that that was me- then cut to me now (Linda: It's so good though) spilling the beans

Linda: Well we can talk about music

Alex: I don't know, we can continue talking about cardboard. I suppose the thing with it- I suppose. I was looking at some of the stuff and I read something or saw something where somebody had said, there's really no course you can take in doing that. You know you just have to try and you learn how you're gonna do that by doing it. Which is like quite a few things I imagine like that.

Linda: Let's talk about the role that the piano plays on this album.

Alex: The piano was a gift from me manager Ian for me 30th birthday. Yeah so that became the centerpiece in the studio and I've pretty much played it every day since it showed up there.

Linda: Had you been drawn to playing piano a lot in the past?

Alex: When I was an 8 yeat old kid, me dad took me to have lessons and it may have lasted a year but I never really took to it. I never remember enjoying it that much be I had. I remember realising that I could hear the difference between the notes. I knew when I was doing it wrong is what I could remember from that. When I were a 15 year old, he brought us a guitar home and I got really stuck into that and didn't put it down. The piano thing I had like, I could play a couple of chords and give the impressiont that I could play it better than I actually could.

Linda: How did that feel, writing in terms of freedom as an artist, or a point of difference. How did it compare?

Alex: I don't know what I would have done without it, I had no ideas and through that suddenly I started to have ideas. I just knew everything I was about to do when I pick up a guitar. And then so you change that, so there's that side of it, I feel like I've heard people say plenty of times. It brought out this character. I like the idea of, it made me like thinking in a different way. I think the lyrics were different as a result of the chords my fingers had fallen on.

Linda: It ends up sounding like a diffeernt and kind of surprising and herefore wonderful album in the end. How did it feel when you brought it to James Ford or to the band and stuff?

Alex: Better than I expected to I think. Jamie came and we worked on stuff together for a couple of weeks. And it was during that time that i was encouraged that i was barking up the right tree. It did seem different to what we'd done before, but his enthusiasm I think for it, was like lets go this way then.

Linda: It feels like it would have been so fun after doing something like AM to do something that just kind of turns off and changes direection.

Alex: Which I think it does in some ways. But then sometime parts of it I hear a quite-

Linda: Theer are some parts that feel quite groove driven in the same way AM does.

Alex: Exactly, I think we've gone a bit deeper down in that direction (Musical break) I think like lyricaly there aren't to many similarities. But to a degree that's always been how we've felt going into these things. I honestly don't know like how we would have done something like that, the AM record I mean. I don't know how thinking about it, we would have done anything other than this.

Linda: When you were mentioning lyrics just then and saying that they're different to AM, are they autobiographical or are you kind of just thinking in a character when you're writing those songs.

Alex: I think it's both of those things and it sort of drifts in between them. Some lines in it are just totally, almost me having a word with me sen, more so i think than before really. I think it was a friend of mine that said to me, you've done the love songs, I'd love to hear you do something that's not that. Or the type of lyrics on AM and what that's all about. There's kind of no more ways I could say that anymore and I think that's what my friend was getting at and it did come across to me. I was like yeah I would like to do that, but I think any time I'd tried to go to some of these places in the past the poetry just wasn't there for me in the past and this time it I think I managed to find it.

Linda: Yeah maybe the piano tapped into it (Musical break) There was a point where I was thinking about this album and I don't know how conscious of this you were when you were doing it, but it feels interesting to listen to it now because we're consuming it in this world that almost feels like it's plummeting towards kind of technology and the future whereas sonically this record feels like it harkens back to something quite art deco, but a the same time it's talking about current things that are going on.

Alex: The battle between the future and the past.

Linda: Exactly, were you concious of that when you were doing it?

Alex: I think that's what- I suppose that's what I'm talking about when I say, I'd struggled to find poetry in that before and I didn't know how to write about that. I feel this way about our first album like the types of things we were writing sbout there a lot of other people were writing about at that time and have done before that. But there's something about the style that makes it work. Hopefully it's the same with this.

Linda: There's such a visual stance with this record because you know, are you going to be making a film that goes with it or?

Alex: There's no plans to make a film with it because it's supposed to be what it is. We're not coming out in space suit or anything or like pretending there's zero gravity.

Linda: You could probably do it.

Alex: Maybe I'll do that.

Linda: You could make it happen.

Alex: Yeah just (Linda: Band in space) Moonwalking subtle.

Linda: The Lunar, what did you call it?

Alex: Surface?

Linda: The lunar surface tour

Alex: Yeah that's it (Linda: This could be the one) Well Bowie had the 'Serious Moonlight Tour' didn't he?

Linda: He did.

Return to hosts

Richard: That is actually interesting Linda, I've been wondering how on earth they're going to represent this record on stage.

Linda: I know and how it would fit in with the back catalogue as well.

Richard: Yeah, I mean obviously the back catalogue is not going to be forgtten but they're gonna have to squeeze this knew world of the Artcic Monkeys in amongst the live performances of those big tracks off AM. I like bands being brave and I think this is a record that by years end all the UK critcs will be claiming how brilliant it is and it'll make a lot of top 10 lists. I think fans will be divided, I think anyway.

Linda: I think that's a good thing.

Richard: Thanks for the sharing the interview with us on the 2018 podcast.

Linda: Hey look I'm glad that I got to do it even though you know i was saying it wasn't the easist interview to do, it was certainly a real one.

[theropoda]

Morrowind's weirdness is such an integral part of its identity, as a fantasy game it does stand out and shine BECAUSE of how unique it is in comparision with your generic european woodland tolkein fantasy games, because of the ashlands and the silt striders, the guars and the kwama, the architecture and the complexity of the local religion, the local politics, the dunmer culture, etc etc... All these things are Good and make this game so memorable

But these very same characteristics are often written in the books (like pge1 for example) in such an insufferable manner like you cant go 2 sentences without being reminded how Weird it is. how bizarre it is. the dunmer are Sooooooooo weird you guys arent they wacky. and weird? did i mention theyre WEIRD. Like i swear you can write interesting original worlds without delving head-first into exoticism guys

And a lot of this reminds me of like real world racism and orientalism. Both in the way odd-but-not-horrible aspects of morrowind are written (like the wildlife) but also real life racist stereotypes showing up in the game (the way dunmer are constantly described as "clans always at war with each other", dunmer being xenophobic, the slavery (WHICH AGAIN IS REALLY FUNNY BC. Imperials being the one to abhor slavery when their real life inspirations lived off of it so much.....hey.), etc, theres probably more but i cant think very well rn LOL) Not to mention lots of what makes morrowind more original than its contemporaries is its inspiration from real-life civilizations and cultures that are usually not shown up much in popular western games, like ancient mesopotamia, swana, south asia, etc. So when you take inspiration from real-world places, slap it on your world, and call that world Weeeeeeeird and freakyyyyyy.....You are indirectly calling those real-world places and practices that as well, which just is not great and disrespectful.

Wwow you know what my head hurts too much to continue this post but i hope people get my point. And my god i hope people are normal about this post if they wish to converse with me, you can never seem to talk about "hmm sometimes media we like. has problems" without getting attacked by a buncha people LOL

edit: yes im aware pge1 is kind of written to be imperial propaganda so thats why it wont shut up about the dunmer being savages but you still kinda see that sentiment in morrowind (the game) itself. Idek

[evan-collins90]

Nickelodeon reception desk & entry inside the overall Viacom New York City headquarters (late 1980s) - designed by Patricia Conway and J. Woodson Rainey, Jr.

Mix of the Wacky PoMo and Memphis Jr. design styles, love the aquarium and car/reception desk hybrid

Scanned from 'Women of Design - Contemporary American Interiors' (1992)

[shintin]

The Wacky Widow's Woes

↳ Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

Comedy one-shot

Summary: In a twist of fate, the most obnoxious person on Earth, Gojo Satoru, appeared by your hospital bed. Clearly, the universe had a wicked sense of humor.

Word count: 5k.

Genre: comedy, fluff, yapping (Jujutsu Kaisen au).

Warnings/Tags: humor, no angst, whipped Satoru Gojo, bitchy reader, a lot of jokes about chapter 236 of the JJK manga (my personal healing process), mention of Kitkat, prepare for Gojo's nauseating love for his wife, who's probably sick of him.

Notes: I hope you laugh your ass off while reading this.

You can read my fics on AO3. If you have any questions, don’t be shy and ASK.

On a very, very, very dull autumn afternoon, we find ourselves in a hospital room where its fancy ass curtains are just letting in enough sunlight to cast a gloomy, eerie glow.

There, on the bed, lies a woman who seems to have become one with the medical equipment—or, better to say, a high-tech octopus. Wires and tubes sprout from her body like overgrown vines, connecting her to an orchestra of beeping machines. It's like a twisted version of a modern art installation, where chaos and order collide in a symphony of medical mayhem.

The woman, blissfully oblivious to the cacophony surrounding her, snores away, blissfully lost in dreamland. It's almost comical how she manages to find solace amidst the tangled wires and the chorus of beeps. One might wonder if she's dreaming of a magical place where the cables turn into candy canes and the machines play cheerful tunes instead of somber heartbeats.

The lighting in the room sucks, perhaps to match the mood or new architectural ambiance design. For fuck's sake, who knows! Shadows dance across the walls, conspiring with the flickering fluorescent lights to create an atmosphere that's equal parts unsettling and strangely fascinating.

As if to bring a touch of irony to the scene, a sad excuse for a vase sits on a nearby table, barely holding onto life. Its wilted flowers, once vibrant and alive, now resemble a bouquet of autumn hues gone horribly wrong. It's a symbolic reminder that beauty is fleeting, just like the woman's health, and that even in the darkness, there's a twisted kind of beauty to be found.

The room carries the unmistakable scent of sterile cleanliness, mingled with a hint of despair. It's the kind of smell that makes you want to open a window and let in some fresh air (read jump out), but alas, in this hospital room, fresh air seems like a distant memory.

Well, hold on to your hospital gown because here's a plot twist for you! Picture this: you've been envisioning this serene hospital room, reading it in all its autumnal glory, and guess what? The woman lying on that bed, surrounded by beeping machines and tubes, is none other than... drumroll... you!

Yep, you're the star of the show, ready to wake up and face your second stroke. But hey, don't worry, it's not going to be as boring as your room décor. No, no, life has decided to throw you a curveball and add a dash of excitement to your hospital stay. Who needs a peaceful recovery when you can have a stroke sequel, right?

So get ready to jolt awake and embrace the chaos! Remember, even in between unexpected events, a good sense of humor can be the best medicine. Laughter might not cure your condition, but it can certainly make the hospital experience a little more bearable. So, chin up, brave stroke survivor! Your story is about to take an exciting turn!

Well, well, well.

As you wake up from your beauty sleep, feeling as if you've been smooching a cactus all night, the machines around you decide to unleash their inner DJs with a symphony of beeps. How thoughtful of them to create an auditory masterpiece that grates on your nerves like a tone-deaf choir. Ah, music to your ears, right?

But fear not, the brave warrior of hydration! You are on a noble quest to conquer the desert that has taken residence in your mouth. Summoning every ounce of strength (and probably some residual grumpiness), you muster the strength to ascend from your pillow fortress. With your hand gracefully reaching out for that tempting glass of water, victory feels within reach.

Your hand hovers mid-air as if suspended by an invisible force, frozen in a moment of pure disbelief. Just when you think the universe couldn't possibly play a more mischievous trick on you, there he was—sitting on the couch like he owns the place—the one person you would rather avoid more than a clown with a pie in hand. Seriously, is this some cosmic prank show?

Your eyes widen in disbelief, your heart skips a beat, and you can't help but let out a little groan. It's like the universe is trying to test your resilience, throwing you into this hilariously uncomfortable situation. Oh, the irony!

You: Hell no! What the fuck are you doing here?

Right in front of your very eyes sits the epitome of style and charm—a man sporting a white shirt and black pants combo that would weaken fashion gurus at the knees. No sunglasses dare cross the path of this confident fellow, for his piercing ocean-blue eyes need no protection from the sun's feeble attempts to outshine them.

But wait, there's more! Let's not forget about his head adorned with fluffy white hair that could rival the fluffiest clouds. Ugh!

Satoru: Hello to you too, love!

He strikes a pose that screams, "I'm the king of this couch!" With one leg casually crossed over the other and his arms spread wide on the back of the couch, he's claiming his throne in the most nonchalant and hilarious way possible.

Satoru: Is this how you greet your beloved husband?

You: Fuck off!

With the speed of a ninja on a caffeine high, you swiftly pull the blanket up to your chest, fully aware that the hospital gowns offer about as much coverage as a single sheet of tissue paper. Yes, those flimsy garments are the Victoria's Secret of the medical world—barely there and leaving little to the imagination! And just when you thought the situation couldn't get any more entertaining, you catch a glimpse of his famous smile. Asshole! Is he peeping on you?

Satoru: Aha! The feisty spirit lives on! Missed your sassy attitude.

He grins like a mischievous little rascal who just stumbled upon a secret stash of dad jokes, except it's a porn website!

Satoru: And, of course, your perked-up nipples!

Summoning your inner grumpy penguin, you dramatically cross your arms over your chest, shooting him a glare that could make a grizzly bear retreat in fear.

You: well, Mr. White-Haired Head with a stinky smirk and eyes bluer than a bottle of Windex, I didn't miss you AT ALL!

Satoru: Why, oh why, did you dye your hair white if you claim not to miss me, baby? Is it some secret signal to the hair gods that you're ready to experience the adventure of life without my captivating presence? Or perhaps it's your way of channeling the wisdom of Gandalf and Dumbledore, hoping that your newly snowy locks will grant you magical powers to forget all about me?

You: Hold your horses, chatterbox! My hair has turned snowy white without any meddling from me. No, I didn't secretly sprinkle it with magic hair dye while cackling like a mischievous sorcerer, you idiot!

Satoru: Whoopsie daisy! You've got a point there. Did I accidentally step on your delicate feelings, wise and experienced grandma?

In a grand display of determination, you muster every ounce of strength to grab the pillow behind your back, preparing to launch it at him. Alas, it seems the strength of a thousand paperclips has possessed your hands, rendering them feeble and incapable of fulfilling your pillow-throwing dreams. The valiant effort leaves you gasping for air as if you have just completed a marathon of pillow-tossing.

Satoru: Yowai mo!

He erupts into laughter, showcasing his undeniable talent as a professional tease.

You: Cut the crapola! Spill the beans! What on earth has brought you to this neck of the woods?

With your firm tone that could rival a drill sergeant's, the machine begins beeping faster than a sugar-rushed hummingbird on roller skates. It's as if the beeps are making their best impression of a hyperactive jazz band, matching the frantic tempo of your skyrocketing heart rates.

Satoru: I'll be rolling on the floor in laughter if you drop dead from the sheer intensity of your anger, Granny. Let's be real; finding inner peace is way more beneficial for you in the long run. Just saying!

You: Satoru!

Satoru: Yep, that's me. Breaking hearts and taking names. Can't a poor soul like me simply pay a visit to my dear wife on her deathbed?

You: Hell to the no! You can't just waltz in our life whenever you please! Sorry, but you lost that VIP visiting privilege when you—

Satoru: Oh, and on that note, could that charming chick who graced you with her presence earlier be our beloved daughter?

You sigh, exasperated, and gently rub your forehead as if trying to coax that headache into submission. Ah, the joys of a headache that seems set on conquering you before any actual sickness does. With a dramatic sweep of your hand across your face, you channel your inner drama queen and then grab your neck.

You: Oh, please, for the love of all that is awkward, just tell me that you didn't try to work your "smooth moves" on her.

Satoru: I was this close to making a move, you know? She's like a spitting image of when I was head over heels for you! It's like you've managed to clone yourself or something. Should I be worried? Did you secretly stash away all my precious genes and hoard them for your own amusement? Well, I guess I can't blame you for wanting to keep all those sperms to yourself! But seriously, she doesn't look like me at all. I am hurt!

He pouts like a baby, forever stuck in his eternal state of immaturity, but you aren't about to let that deter you. With an air of defiance, you casually lean against the hospital bed board, gazing intently at the serum making its grand entrance into your veins. Oh, and that obnoxious machine chiming away? You can't help but wish it could just shut up.

You: It's actually better for her, you know. At least she doesn't have anything that serves as a constant reminder of her absent father, who couldn't even be bothered to be present during her birth!

Your words are like a sarcasm waterfall, cascading with vicious wit. You've mastered the art of tongue-in-cheek remarks, and while you're fully aware of their potency, you couldn't care less. It's like you've got a license to sass, and you're not afraid to use it, even if it makes the world say, "Well, ain't you a delightful ray of sunshine!"

Satoru: Let's not paint the picture as if I had some glamorous options! Nope, I was bestowed with the honor of being the designated problem-solver, the one expected to handle it all while gracefully tiptoeing through—

You: Oh, pretty please! If it's not too much trouble, continue your reign as the honored one through heaven and earth, while sparing me from any additional bouts of annoyance. I must say, it's quite the talent you possess—being both honored and a master of irritation. Quite the balancing act, I must admit!

As you clench the blanket in desperation, that rebellious needle gleefully plunges itself into your hand. Fuck unexpected pain! And there, decorating your arm like a chilling masterpiece, are the bruises—trophy marks from your encounters with the needle army. Who knew injections could become an avant-garde art form? With tears welling up and the air growing thinner, it feels like the room is leaving you gasping for breath just to have a twisted sort of fun. Bravo, universe, for your fucked up sense of humor! A standing ovation for this macabre spectacle.

Satoru: Love?

You: …

Satoru: Baby?

You: …

Satoru: My Wondrous Whipped Cream Warrior, the Caramel Crusader, the Sprinkle Spritzer, the Marshmallow Maestro, the Treat Tornado, the Sugar Rush Superstar, the Jelly-filled Joy Bringer, and the Sweetness Sorceress who turns my world into a Never-ending Dessert Buffet! The Honeyed Pussy of—

You: WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT, SATORU?

You are wheezing like a chain-smoking asthmatic, desperately gasping for air, and his attitude is about as helpful as a wet matchstick. You and the mysteries of poor life choices! What possessed you, in that twisted moment of madness, to willingly plunge into the depths of infatuation with him? It's a dark, twisted enigma that not even the Grim Reaper could decipher.

Satoru: Are you still mad?

As you tilt your head, there he is, looking at you with those big, blue eyes, like a lost poppy desperately trying to win the "Most Heart-Melting Flower" award. What a sneaky trickster! He knows exactly what he is doing, employing his secret weapon of irresistible gazes, and darn it; it works like a charm! You can't resist the powers of those eyes, and you reluctantly surrender, cursing his effective tactics while secretly admiring his diabolical brilliance. Well played, Mr. Blue-Eyed Mother Fucker, well played.

You: I never stopped being mad at you!

Satoru: Fair, but you have to know that—

You: Spare me the creative excuses, please! You pulled off the greatest magic trick of all—knocking me up—and then poof! You disappeared into thin air, leaving me with a growing belly and a bewildered expression. Good job, Houdini!

Satoru: You're welcome, baby. But you've got to cut me some slack here! My job description practically has "Accident Enthusiast" written all over it. It's not like I wake up in the morning, rubbing my hands together, thinking, "Oh boy, I can't wait for another mishap!" So, let's blame it on my occupational hazard, shall we?

You: Oh, well, then, thank you so much for gracing us with your presence again! You chose to go down that path because, of course, you believed you were the one and only capable being in the universe. And oh, how lucky we are that you decided to leave me and our daughter behind. It's truly heartwarming to see you saunter back into our lives after years like it's just another casual stroll in the park. I mean, who needs a father figure during precious moments like birth, first words, and first steps, right? Clearly, you had more important things to attend to. Our daughter has grown up and gone through school, and I've had the pleasure of explaining why her dad couldn't be bothered to pick her up like those "normal" dads. Graduation, dating, first job—she did it all without you, and we couldn't be more grateful for your consistent absence. Now you have the audacity to—

You start coughing, and each painful gasp feels like your lungs are being ruthlessly ripped apart, leaving behind crimson stains on your once immaculate sheets and hands. And there he stands, towering tall, as handsome as the day he first stole your heart. It's just not fair that he still looks so good while sickness has mercilessly drained the life from your weary soul. He approaches you, the lingering scent of vanilla clinging to him, a bittersweet reminder of what you once cherished but now resentfully long for.

Satoru: Take a sip of water. Do you want me to help you?

Oh, he's all worried now, isn't he? But honestly, after enduring all that post-him misery, you're not about to let him off the hook just because he's offering a glass of water. Come on, you might be a little dumb, but you're not "drink-water-and-forget-all-the-pain" dumb! Nice try, buddy, but you'll need more than H2O to wash away the mess you left behind.

You: I DON'T NEED YOUR GODDAMN HELP! How about you kindly take a flying leap back to wherever you've been hiding all this time? I'm sure you've perfected your disappearing act by now. And don't forget to leave behind a trail of glittering resentment as you go, just to keep things spicy. Ta-ta, farewell, and may you step on a thousand Lego bricks on your way out!

Satoru: Listen up, partner in crime! I've had enough of leaving you to your own devices. It's been tough for me, too, and I sincerely apologize for piling on the hardship. But I learned my lesson! Starting right this very moment, I'm making a solemn vow never to ditch you again. Consider me your loyal sidekick, ready to tackle life's challenges together, even if it means enduring endless reruns of your favorite TV show or subjecting myself to your cooking experiments. We're in this for the long haul, love!

You use the sleeve of your flimsy, ridiculous gown to clumsily wipe away the blood from your mouth, all the while shooting him a perplexed look. Seriously, how on earth does he still manage to gaze at you with those doe eyes, all lovey-dovey, when you're rocking the vampire-on-a-sunlit-day aesthetic?

You: So, you decided to grace me with your presence just because I'm sick?

Satoru: Yes.

You: I see how it is! You're not here because you missed me, huh?

Satoru: Uh-oh, am I about to witness another round of your infamous anger? But hey, before you explode like a volcano, let me enlighten you that I didn't write the rulebook on how things work. Nope, not my area of expertise. Turns out, the universe didn't consult me when setting up the whole system. It seems they left me out of the committee meeting where they decided the rules of life. Classic!

You: Does it hurt?

Satoru: It hurt me badly because I snapped in half like a Kit-Kat bar. And no, there wasn't a delicious wafer filling in between, just pure pain and emotional wreckage.

You: Come on, Satoru! This is not the time for your quirky sense of humor. I mean, seriously, I saw your guts out in the open, and to top it off, ants decided to take a leisurely hike on them.

Satoru: TV producers really went all out with the graphic details, huh? Sure, I appreciate high-definition viewing, but did they need a close-up of my stuff? Talk about taking reality TV to a whole new level! I hope they provided a warning. Note to self: avoid snacking while watching shows that involve anatomical explorations!

You: SATORU!

Satoru: Alright, alright, no need to get serious! Can't a man crack a joke about his own death around here? Fine, I'll hold your hand during the whole thing. You know, I once spouted that cliché line about dying alone, but let's face it, that was a load of nonsense. Nobody goes down that final road solo. It's like a grand exit party!

You: Oh, really? So, you had some company, huh? Well, you know what they say: ignorance is bliss. I don't need the details, and my imagination can take a wild ride all on its own

Satoru: Jealousy looks good on you, love.

As he bends closer, his breath tickles your lips, making you wonder if he had onions for lunch. With a dramatic flourish, he grabs your chin as if auditioning for a cheesy romance movie. And then, like a vacuum cleaner on turbo mode, he plants a kiss that sucks the air right out of your lungs. It's like indulging in a dessert buffet filled with marshmallows, caramel, and insulin shots. Who needs a thrill ride at an amusement park when you can experience a sugar rush of epic proportions? You may be risking diabetes, but hey, at least you'll be leaving this world with a sweet tooth satisfied and an unforgettable, albeit comical, memory of that last smooch.

Unfortunately, after what feels like a fleeting eternity, he decides to break the kiss. As your eyes meet, you can't help but sneak a glance downwards, wondering if his pants harbored any surprises. Alas, it appears that either he's a master of disguise or ghosts have taught him their spectacular talent for concealment. Sneaky whores!

Satoru: Are you ready to go?

Oh, snap! Once the horniness fades away, reality hits you like a ton of bricks. Holy shit! How did you manage to forget about your daughter? Leaving her behind is definitely not the best parenting move. Time to snap back into responsible mode and give that little one the attention she deserves. Parenthood: where forgetfulness meets a reality check!

You: Will she be okay?

Satoru: She's our little munchkin. She'll be alright.

You: I want to see her for the last time.

Satoru: You can see her whenever you want.

You: WHAT?

He scratches his head, messing up his undercut, desperately trying to dodge eye contact like a game of social hide-and-seek.

Satoru: Ops! Did I just spill the beans on one of the perks of the afterlife? My bad! My master plan was to witness that priceless guilty expression on your face when we reached the pearly gates. Imagine your shock when you realized you blamed me for no reason, only to discover I had a front-row seat to all your shenanigans during all those years! Oh, the things I've seen! I know how many times you've touched yourself thinking about me! No judging, though! And yes, I know you secretly fumed when our little bundle of joy uttered "Dada" before "Mama." Don't worry, I won't tell a soul... except, you know, all the other souls up there. It's the ultimate celestial gossip!

You: WHAT? YOU KNOW EVERYTHING? THEN WHY THE FUCK YOU ASKED IF SHE'S OUR DAUGHTER?

Satoru: First, just to tickle your pickle. Second, as I cunningly planned.

You: You're still a brat!

Satoru: And you're still as beautiful as the day I lost you.

You: Smooth words, my friend, but let's not kid ourselves. I won't buy into any deceit. I'm old, wrinkled, and sick. Time and disease are killing me, just as you hated. Meanwhile, you continue to flaunt that glorious chiseled chest and those rock-hard butt cheeks.

Satoru: Thank you, ma'am, for keeping my ass in your thoughts. Speaking of which, I must confess I've made some boneheaded decisions along the way. Opting for death in the name of someone else can seem like a breeze compared to the complexity of choosing to live for them. So, kudos to you for being the badass who faced life's challenges to honor my memory.

You: I hope this is not just a dream.

Satoru: We can give it a try and see for ourselves.

As Satoru reaches out his hand, something extraordinary unfolds—the machine starts beeping. You look at the device, noticing that the time between beeps gradually increases. But then, your gaze shifts to your cherished spouse, the man whose absence has left an indelible void within you. The man with whom you would have fearlessly confronted doomsday on that fateful December 24th in 2018, had it not been for the fact that you were carrying his last trace of existence, a precious legacy nestled within your very being.

You: You feel so warm.

Satoru: Some things never change.

His hand gracefully slides towards your waist, triggering a chain reaction of chaos. Those pesky wires and tubes that were so dutifully attached to you? Well, they decide it's time for a break and go on a wild unplugging spree. It's like a rebellious dance party of freedom for those little connectors! And just when you thought things couldn't get any more exciting, your feet are about to touch the chilly floor, ready to embark on an unplanned adventure.

You: Hold up! Fetch my wheelchair for me!

Satoru: You don't need it anymore.

As you place your feet on the floor, you can't help but chuckle at the fact that your knees manage to hold up, allowing you to stand upright. The machines emit a continuous beeping sound, indicating a flat line on the monitor. Suddenly, the door swings open, and a troupe of nurses storm into the room. They swiftly gather around your motionless body lying on the bed. One nurse examines your vital signs, another administers an injection into your vein, and a third retrieves a machine to deliver cardiac shocks in an attempt to revive you. Witnessing these intense moments, you hold Satoru's hand tighter.

You: I don't want to come back.

Satoru: Are you sure?

Tears well up in the corners of your eyes and trickle down your cheeks as you gaze at him.

You: Yeah. I've spent more time living with your memory than I've had the opportunity to live alongside you.

Satoru's grip on your hand intensifies like he's determined to etch his touch into your very being. He lifts your hand delicately, planting a tender kiss upon it. Drawing you closer to him, he envelopes you in an embrace, burying your face in the warmth of his chest. With gentle affection, he presses a kiss upon the crown of your head, leaning his head upon yours.

As teardrops trickle onto your head, you find yourself clinging to him desperately, as if trying to hold onto the fragments of a shattered existence. In that agonizing moment, the harsh reality of his unfulfilled roles crashes down upon you like a relentless wave. He has endured the torment of being a husband bereft of a wife, a father denied a child, and a sensei forsaken his students.

Satoru: I will never let go of you anymore.

You: Is this just another one of those "oops, my bad" promises? You know, like when you swore to be to hold me for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health?

Satoru: Heyyy! I held you till death do us part. I even remember, the night before my, um, grand finale, I held you so good that you had spread your legs, moaning my name and begging me to hold you harder.

Just as you are ready to break free from his grasp and deliver a well-deserved bonk on his clueless head, the scene takes an unexpected turn. Your doctor rushes into the room and towards your bed, barking orders left and right, and proceeds to administer yet another mysterious injection into your poor, defenseless vein.

Deciding to redirect your attention, you avert your gaze and catch sight of your reflection in the nearby window. To your astonishment, your hair has magically reverted to its former glory, defying the clutches of time. Wrinkles? Vanished as if a skilled magician performed a grand disappearing act. You're suddenly transported back to the good ol' days of youthfulness. Bewildered, you inspect your once-bruised hands, only to find them as flawless as a newborn's.

You: Satoru? What's—

Satoru: I know, right? It turns out one of the unexpected bonuses of kicking the bucket is that you get to rock your sexiest form once again. So, brace yourself because I won't behave when you sashay around in that gorgeous drop-dead gown. I can't keep it in my pants till we arrive and I start making cream pies and babies with you!

You: Oh, my goodness! Does it actually work in the afterlife as well?

Satoru: You're referring to my... um, dick? Let me tell you, it still has the same old magic, if not a little extra pizzazz! It's like a fine wine, aging gracefully and delivering peak performance in the afterlife. Who knew there would be such perks beyond the grave?

You: No, idiot! I mean babies!

Satoru: How should I know? I made sure to wear a condom during my frisky encounters with angels.

You can't help but release an exasperated breath, causing your ears to turn as red as a tomato in a sauna. The thought of giving him a good old-fashioned strangling and sending him off to the after-afterlife has you chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

Satoru: Would it tickle your funny bone if I threw caution to the wind and played a game of "heavenly roulette" with unprotected encounters, potentially earning myself some out-of-this-world STD souvenirs?

With a masterful brow raise and a world-class eye roll, you are all set to deliver the ultimate "exit stage left" move. But he pulls off the ultimate surprise maneuver and hits you with the "Hold up, wait a minute" move. He has a secret superpower to freeze you in your snarky tracks! Goddammit! Those puppy eyes again.

Satoru: I was joking, okay? I just jerked off while watching your showering or self-exploration activities. I mean, fingering yourself while calling my name. That's it! Okay? Also, we should have a talk about that dildo you named Hollow Purple!

You: So, it seems you shamelessly watched everything, hm?

Satoru: Yes. Absolutely! I had a lot of spare time to slay, and, hey, let's not divert our attention from the Hollow Purple subject, you dirty little mouse!

You: God! Kill me already!

Satoru: Why? You're just itching to infiltrate the kingdom of my pants, aren't you?

You: You know what? I've had a change of heart. I'd rather try my chances with cosmic sickness than spend an eternity with your delightful company!

Satoru: Goodness gracious! You and your fiery temper! How on earth did you manage to cast a spell on me, making me fall for you?

You: It's common knowledge among our friends that everybody should bow down to your shameless expertise in the art of begging!

Satoru: Is that so?

He displays a smug smirk, his arms crossed firmly over his chest.

Satoru: Well, we can ask when we see them.

Your eyes go from their regular setting to full-on "wide-angle lens" mode, capturing the world in all its wide-eyed wonder. It is as if someone presses the "zoom" button on your peepers, revealing a comical level of astonishment.

You: They are there, too?

Satoru: Oh boy, buckle up for Nanamin's epic rage when he discovers our fashionably late entrance!

You: Well, chop-chop! Time to hit the road! We wouldn't want to unleash the wrath of the entire afterlife just because your chatty ass decided to go on such a long monologue!

He leans in and gently kisses your forehead, intertwining his fingers with yours as he guides you towards the door. As you both stand at the doorway, you cast a lingering gaze upon the nurses and doctor, who seem to have thrown in the towel on their attempts to revive you.

Satoru: I can't wait to spook everyone alongside you. You'll forever be my always.

Author's Note: I had an absolute blast writing this.

@enchantedforest-network 🤍

[mariyekos]

New DMC Anime Trailer Breakdown, Part 1

Okay so thoughts on the new DMC Anime trailer, which you can see here:

Putting things under the cut!

First things first, it's definitely going to at least take a few things from the DMC3 manga.

Second: It at least uses CGI in part....but more than that, on rewatching it... Are those Agni and Rudra!? Which means it also covers DMC3 in part.

Other fun things to note- I'm not sure if Dante's plate is a reference to anything, but he does have New York plates, so we can assume this DMC takes place in the US, even if the games are ambiguously sort of British/European based on architecture and director commentary.

Going to be honest- I'm not sure if these guys are a reference to anything. If they are, it's going over my head, but I could definitely see them just being generic bad guys/hunters.

Rebellion looks nice here! Also, looks like we're continuing the tradition of Dante getting attacked at his shop, because with a Pool table, jukebox, and the posters on the wall, I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be Dante's shop. Fun that we get a shot of him without his coat too, though he must put it on at another point since he has it in the above shots.

Then we have the exploding plane scene, which afaik is new but also feels very DMC. RIP the other people in that airplane though. Still, I like how wacky and over the top it is!

We also have a demon in the background of this shot...

And someone I'm preeety sure is Enzo (from the DMC3 Manga and Bayonetta!) Although on second glance, this guy looks like he might be blond, which Enzo is not. Still, it could just be a design choice they went with.

Following that is a shot of....probably not Jester because of the short nose, but something I'm sure is connected to Arkham in some way. I want to say they wouldn't get rid of his face scar, so I'm banking on there being a plotline related to Arkham having multiple minions Dante has to take down.

The giant hell portal in the sky isn't super special. We see it in both DMC3 and the old DMC anime, after all.

Then water guy...who I also don't remember as an enemy tbh. Could be new, could be my bad memory showing face. But he's a cyclops with axe hands which is interesting.

Dante's bullets are engraved with Jackpot which I find hilarious but also cool. Just imagining him using magic/demonic power to carve that in is great. I do wonder if they're going to have him reload though? Ebony and Ivory generally use magic bullets as far as I remember, but I know Coyote-A ejects shells. This bullet is shot from Ivory though.

EDIT: Looking at it again, these guns aren't Ebony and Ivory. They're both white/grey. Assuming this isn't them being lazy/an animation error, it might be that this is a real bullet...that he engraved using magic or just special gun stuff instead of just making the bullet itself from magic. I am not interested in guns in real life, but I think guns are supposed to have a function where they leave a mark on the bullets they fire so you can identify which gun shot the bullet? So it could be a human-made modification too.

Then there's the demon he shoots, which I think is a reference to Alice and the demons from the DMC3 manga (and a nice reference to the Sin Scissors and other beings that you can get the kill on with a bullet to the mask).

Not totally sure what the thing Dante shoots is, but it looks to be some sort of pendant. Is it some possessed thing that the girl has? Not super important though, because WHY IS ECHIDNA FROM DMC4 HERE?! Not upset, just surprised. Didn't notice this in my first watch.

After that we get Dante saving a girl from a... car? train? Something getting thrown into a diner that reminds me of the one from the old DMC anime, so here's me hoping we might get some fun downtime scenes like we did in that show. Maybe we'll see a strawberry sundae :)

Actually wait-

STRAWBERRY SUNDAE IDENTIFIED! Also I don't have a picture of her on hand, but is this maybe the waitress from that anime? A younger version? I'll look for a picture later, but for the sake of getting this out earlier than later, I'll just say I'm pretty sure she was a redhead too.

EDIT: Rewatching the trailer, the blue cyclops demon from before is in front of a sign that I'm pretty sure is supposed to say Freddie's Diner like in the OG Anime, so I'm going with the waitress being the same woman or otherwise related.

After that we get what looks to be a human that turned into a demon. My bet is that this guy was always a demon who was pretending to be human, but I think it could be interesting if there was a plotline about Arkham transforming humans into demons while trying to achieve godhood.

And hey look, Dante has what looks to be a stab mark through his chest and a hole in his shirt :) i bet this boy is getting stabbed through the chest, let's gooooo!

EDIT: Back, so I'll continue.

On second glance- wait, these guns are both gray, which means they aren't Ebony and Ivory. I'm putting my money into the DMC3 anime including Dante meeting Nell rather than this being an animation/coloring error.

Aaaand I hit the image limit, darn. Part 2 can be found here.

[artmakerproductions]

ADAM & MONTY

With Vizziepop and the early version of Disney’s Dinosaur in mind from a conversation on discord, I drew this. A tongue in cheek spin to those illustrations of Adam and Eve co-existing with dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. The earlier draft of Disney’s Dinosaur had more religious elements in it, from the friend lemur named Adam, a prophet Iguanadon, Noah and the rival Iguanadon (an estranged brother of Noah in a version) Cain.

The aforementioned earlier version of Dinosaur:

1)— What Adam and Monty are discussing at the moment is relationships. Monty is just giving Adam some for future use, but Adam rebuttals it as he’s never been in one on account of never meeting another human.

2)— Took that quote directly from the “How I talk to woman” clip from the movie, “The 40-year old Virgin”.

3)— Dialogue from Ice Age.

4)— “So, this’ll make hunting… easier?…” — The Lion

Adam’s first hammer sale. There’d be a lot of “firsts” occurring and it usually involving Adam’s half baked business plans.

Episode plot: Hammertime

Adam, inspired by an Ankylosaurus’s club, figures a way to sell a smashing rock for profit. There’s a lot of hiccups and patches needed for the product (such as the fact a majority of the consumers lack hands) til finally the other animals want a refund of their goods; given that refrigeration hasn’t been invented yet, it’s already been eaten by him and Monty, so they split. There’d be a jab at the “pet rock” phenomenon. Adam saying he can’t JUST sell a rock. There’s gotta be more to it. Yes. The hammer product is meant as ironic foreshadowing to the murder weapon his son, Caine uses on Abel. (Gave Adam a slight bit of a design update).

5)— Adam the marriage counsellor.

Passing by a pond, Adam and Monty eyewitness a pair of swans, Don and Teresa, having marital problems. Seeing as a handful of other animals mate for life, while others (such as Monty) are one and done, Adam decides to act as a 3rd party and be a counsellor for them.

6)— Alien Expressionism in Egypt. A nod to Ice Age with the “modern architecture” gag with Stone Henge.

7)— The Wives of Adam: Eve and Lilith

Eve is based on people of Yayoi Period Japan, and Lilith based on ancient redheads.

Lilith and Adam’s marriage (lasting a year) was a bit on the soulless side as they had both rushed into it. Finding they weren’t really right for each other, so they parted ways; but happier that at least they found another human and have grown from the experience. He’d later hear that Lilith too eventually hooked up with someone new, “Luke or Lucile” or other. Adam didn’t recall. Adam’s wording of the experience over generations would get jumbled like a game of telephone to it simply being interpreted as “oh, yeah, gingers are soulless”.

8)— Aaron; a random Mosasaur; and Unicorn 🦄

Aaron is a Arctodus (short-faced bear), a drooly and snotty bear with a bone to pick with Adam as he had introduced a flower to his territory and spread quickly. Now he’s got near constant sniffles and watery eyes.

Unicorns are the usual butt of the jokes from word of mouth, with the rumour being a bunch of horses and rhinos got freaky and now we got unicorns. Used as cautionary story to detour wildly wacky crossbreeding. Once you meet one however, they’re real mean sonsabitches and willing to fight anyone from elephants to brachiosaurs. Old unicorn myths before the later elegant renditions classified them under monsters worthy to be slain like a dragon, with unicorns said to kill elephants for sport.

9)— Adam’s Winter Drip

As he and Monty head further North and eventually over the Bering Land Bridge, Adam finds himself needing better protection against the cold as the leaves prove unsuitable for insulation and wilting in the colder environment. So, he uses the bits of animal he’s been not eating and fashions winter wear.

[transdumpsterfire]

exhibit A: if the Who's in Whoville celebrate christmas, then there must have been a Who Jesus

exhibit B: none of their architecture has right angles or straight lines

conclusion: the Who jesus's cross must've looked so wacky