#Watson‚ Moriarty‚ Mycroft‚ and Mrs. Hudson really need them ... maybe Mrs. Watson‚ too

[throughpatchesofviolet]

Hm ... revisiting The Final Problem--in my brain, that is--and thinking about how Watson gets called back to an inn as a ploy to get Sherlock alone ... perhaps I can use that for Sherry's lore.

[alexwritesfiction]

you really know how to make me cry (when you give me those ocean eyes)

AO3

johnlock | tw suicide mention, swearing | fluff and angst | a/n: ignore typos pls

the one where lestrade breaks down and tells sherlock about how wrecked john was after sherlock's fake death, and it leads to a very wholesome confrontation.

Prompt: Lestrade has a bit of a break down and starts telling Sherlock about John after the fall; "you weren't here Sherlock! you didn't see him! you weren't the one who got drunk phonecalls in the early hours and you didn't run to the cemetery to see him sitting by your grave with his gun in his mouth!"

---

Lestrade really did work hard. Well, lately he hadn’t had to. Sherlock had come back, after all. And for that exact reason, he’d called his dear friend for a breakfast. That was, if John could handle Sherlock being out of his sight for more than five minutes. Greg could swear he was clingier to Sherlock than to Mary.

And he couldn’t even blame him for it. The dumb fool had given all of them heart attacks when he pulled the big prank. Greg had hated himself for not being able to save Holmes.

As he waited, he looked down at his wrist to check the time on, ironically, the same watch Sherlock had once given him. Or rather, Molly had on Sherlock’s behalf.

“Hello, Graham,” an all-too-familiar voice spoke above him, and he looked up to see Sherlock already sat in front of him. He'd become good at that; sneaking around.

“Before you say anything, let me tell you, I will let you solve cases from now on, but I do need a good murder every now then. Maybe you'll need my help soon enough,” he smiled in that know-all way of him, placing his hand on top of another on the table.

Greg couldn’t help but show his wonder at how Sherlock had known exactly what was going to happen.

“How did you- never mind. I shouldn’t even ask,” he said. If his nervous tics were anything to go by, Sherlock probably had him all figured out.

“Well, now that that’s over, I need your help,” he said, quickly and Lestrade almost fell off his chair at hearing that from him.

“I- you- what?” he asked again, and he could genuinely not comprehend what Sherlock had just said.

“I'm going to, ah, prank John,” he smiled a little wider. “I need you to help me pull it off,” his eyes sparkled and as soon as the words “prank john” had left his mouth, Lestrade had hit his limit.

He was done. He was so done with his friend not understanding just how much he had really affected everyone around him. He knew Sherlock didn’t expect anyone to care if he was there or gone, but people did. Just like that, Lestrade burst.

“Prank? A prank?” he said and Sherlock was taken aback by the belittling way he'd said. Greg stood up, almost spilling his beloved coffee. For once, Sherlock did not know why he was so mad.

“How much more do you want to hurt him? Don’t you think you’ve done enough of that after the big fucking Moriarty prank?” His anger was rising and he willed for himself to calm down, but he couldn’t imagine being so dense after solving so many mysteries.

Sherlock remained seated, a frown pulled upon his cupid’s bow. Why would people be hurt? In his idea of a world without himself, all that would change was that John would marry Mary, Mr. Hudson wouldn’t be annoyed and Lestrade would have more work and Mycroft would be the same. Why would anything change?

“I don’t- Lestrade, it's just a prank. It's quite funny, I imagine,” he tried to get the situation under his control, under his sense. He wasn't used to not knowing what was going on.

Greg started to leave after a moment, grabbing his coffee and his coat and walking away. Sherlock’s voice calling him stopped him in his tracks, and just because he’d uttered his real name, called him Greg for the first time ever. That effectively shattered him and gave him courage to say what he was about to.

“You weren't here Sherlock! You didn't see him! You weren't the one who got drunk phone calls in the early hours and you didn't run to the cemetery to see him sitting by your grave with his gun in his mouth!" he yelled, speeding back to the damned detective still watching him.

His face turned ghostly pale, and he was speechless at the confession. John- his John- had tried to- God, he had tried to not exist anymore. Sherlock’s mind was completely blank and running the fastest it ever had simultaneously.

This time, it was Sherlock’s turn to abruptly stand up and sprint away in the freezing winds, leaving a very unstable Lestrade right at the table, reeling from what had just happened.

On his way back, all Sherlock could think of was a world without John. How could that even be possible? There would be no Sherlock, no Sherlock’s world. Because, as he had come to realize it in his days of living without him, John was quite literally his world.

He could not think of the time before Watson, he could not remember his lifestyle, one without seeing john right after waking up and right before sleeping, and sometimes only staring at him sleep so peacefully. 221B Baker Street came into view rather quickly than Sherlock expected it to, and his feet led him right up to his shared room, ignoring Mrs. Hudson’s calling him.

He found John sitting on a chair, particularly, Sherlock’s chair, wrapped up in Sherlock’s favourite billowy coat. And he looked like he had no worried in his life in that position.

Sherlock almost didn’t wake him, debated ruining his sleep for a mere question. But he needed answers, or he would drive himself crazy with all the scenarios in his head.

“John! Wake up!” he urged, and something in his voice didn’t feel right to a sleeping John because he was up and alarmed in five second flat.

He flicked his head around the room, finally settling his gaze on Sherlock, with his lips pressed into a thin line. John had never seen Sherlock like this, all red nosed and red cheeked and so human. And although one could say that Sherlock Holmes was the most human version of himself around john Watson, it still felt ethereal.

The sunlight fell on John’s face such that he looked like an angel to Sherlock, his anchor to reality. But he would not let himself imagine what it would be like to lose his anchor.

“Was what Lestrade said true?” he spoke carefully, closely inspecting John’s face. He saw John’s face contort in confusion, and shake his head.

“He said, he said he saw you. In the cemetery, with your- your gun, in your mouth,” he spoke so softly that John had to strain his ears to catch onto what he was saying.

And once he did, he was taken back, and it took a full moment for him to process that Sherlock knew. He did not get scared of this, he could not because him finding out seemed like such a small pain as compared to the night he was referring to.

He’d gone insane without Sherlock’s little quips and remarks and him being around all the time and his mere presence came back to bite at him. It was a particularly awful night. He’d fought with Mary, over Sherlock nonetheless, but it had been meaningless as soon as he found himself drunk at his grave. He’d called Lestrade because he needed anything that would make him feel like Sherlock was there. Like he existed.

“I thought you died, Sherlock,” he spoke slowly, Sherlock’s coat still around him. He didn’t dare take it off.

“John,” he uttered and then he was right there striding towards his freaking other half. He didn’t know what fuelled it but right then he had a burning need to hold john, to feel him close, for him to be his anchor through whatever whirlwind of emotions he was going through.

John hugged him back just tight, as hard as he could, because god if he hadn’t dreamed of this since the very first time they giggled together at a crime scene. He didn’t know if this chance would come again and he was not going to let it go now that it was here.

“I didn’t know that you cared,” Sherlock said then, and he was terrified of the wet feeling on his cheeks that completely broke john’s heart. John hastily wiped them away because absolutely could not stand the sight of Sherlock being so vulnerable.

Mary’s words came back to him: “You care about him, John, more than me or yourself, and enough that you’re willing to ruin yourself over him.” He realized how wrong she was that night. Sherlock was not the reason John was sad sad, it was his absence. As much as he had hated admitting it to himself, Sherlock was his anchor to reality, too.

The two men stood sharing a moment there, neither of them needing to say anything. But then john recalled Sherlock’s previous words, about not knowing that john cared about him. He wanted to tell him he cared about him, that he could not go a day without seeing him.

But that was exactly was Sherlock was scared of. So, he said the only thing that fit perfectly:

“Elementary, my dear Holmes.”

-

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[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello there!! Do you have a list of long fics with a jealous/possessive/obsessive sherlock? Thank you mwahhh

Hey Nonny!!

I DO!! I actually started a new list for Possessive Sherlock awhile back waiting for someone to ask for it after I posted my other two lists, LOL.

I put my fics in word-count order, so just scroll down until you see a word count you like and go from there LOL :D

Hope you enjoy!

POSSESSIVE / OBSESSIVE SHERLOCK Pt 3

See also:

Jealous & Possessive Sherlock

Possessive Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous Sherlock Because John Dates a Man

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850 w., 1 Ch. || John Whump, Hospitalization, Possessive / Protective Sherlock, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital... again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

Burn Burn by Jenn1984 (K+, 925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Angst, Worried / Panicked / Possessive Sherlock) – A week after the events of "The Great Game", Sherlock returns to 221B Baker Street to find it empty.

His by I'm Nova (T, 1,042 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulation, Possessive Sherlock) – Sherlock doesn't share what he's fond of.

Mine (He Says While Still Being Smol) by beejohnlocked (E, 1,319 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Amused John, Needy Sherlock, Blowjobs) – A suspect flirts with John. Sherlock gets a bit jealous. Okay, a LOT jealous.

The Case of the Missing Blogger by nicknack22 (K, 2,147 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Friendship, Worried / Anxious Sherlock) – Alternately titled, The Case of the Oblivious Consulting Detective. In which Sherlock comes out of his mind palace to discover John missing. 221B does not fair well as a result.

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

Display by 221b_hound (E, 2,377 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, Public Hand Jobs, Exhibitionism, Possessive Sex, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John) – A new client has been flirting with Sherlock and, finding no joy there, with John. John seems annoyed to be second-best, Sherlock thinks, so Sherlock decides to give the departing woman (and maybe also John) a demonstration of who, exactly, John belongs to. But there's more than one level of sexual jealousy and more than one display of possession going on here, outlined in the window of 221b Baker Street. Part 2 of Lock and Key

Surety by hudders (G, 2,477 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous Sherlock, Drunk John, Drunk Lestrade, Drinking, Alcohol) – Sherlock is pissed because it seems that four pints of larger, two shots of tequila and a glass of wine has resulted in Lestrade becoming a little bit too friendly with everyone. And by everyone, Sherlock really means John.

Pillow Talk by 221b_hound (E, 2,925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Est. Rel., Preening Sherlock, Limpet Sherlock, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Sex on Furniture, Scent Kink, Masturbation, Fluff, Soft Sherlock) – John gets home late from work and Sherlock is nowhere to be seen. John walks through the flat, distracted by memories of all the excellent sex they've been having, and finally finds Sherlock asleep in the upstairs room - apparently having fallen asleep mid-wank while inhaling the scent of John's pillow. Well, you should always finish what you start, John thinks... Part 3 of Lock and Key

Reversed by whitchry9 (K+, 3,072 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Medical Anomalies, John Gets Shot) – The man pointed his gun at John's chest, right at his heart, and shot.' Wherein John is shot, and Sherlock is the one panicking.

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarrassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

All That I Have by the_arc5 (M, 3,721 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Canon Divergence, Pining Sherlock, John Whump, Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Light Angst) – In the aftermath of the Great Game, Sherlock finds himself with a new weakness. John is both the cause and the cure.

Paranoia by Ewebie (M, 3,789 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Drinking Games, Scotland Yard Gang, Jealous / Possessive Sherlock, Inappropriate Questions, Embarrassed John, Matchmakers) – John and Sherlock join the gang of Scotland Yard for a night of drinking, and it gets a bit personal and revealing.

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Obsession, Appassionato by shinychimera, Yeomanrand (E, 4,249 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, First Time, Jealous Sherlock, Music / Sherlock’s Violin, Present Tense, Frottage) – John is late, and he hasn’t called, and Sherlock works himself into a state. Part 1 of Love and Ysaye

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Butterfly, Pinned Under Glass by billiethepoet (E, 4,648 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, Jealousy, Barebacking, BAMF!John) – It started as a desire to keep John safe and whole, and ended up as just desire.

Applied Linguistics by what_alchemy (M, 4,837 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive / Anxious Sherlock, Introspection, Bed Sharing, Past John Whump, Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Word Play) – “He wants to shake John by the shoulders, wants to open his mouth and swallow John whole. Wants to marry him.” Sherlock searches for the right words.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Fa Subito by kim47 (E, 6,659 w., 1 Ch. || Suit Porn, Cockblocker Mycroft, Obsessed Sherlock, PWP) – John wears a suit. Sherlock finds it extremely distracting.

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well.

A Friend Indeed by Sanru (K+, 8,190 w., 1 Ch. || Missing John, Friendship, Drama, Introspection, Possessive Sherlock, Worried Sherlock) – Something has gone terribly wrong with a supposedly simple case. John Watson is missing. While the search for him is proving to be fruitless, it has made Sherlock realize that having an emotional attachment to someone may have its disadvantages but he liked being able to call John his friend. Now if only he could find out what happened to him...

My Life for His by QuinnAnderson (E, 8,816 w., 1 Ch. || Guardian/Protector, Greek Mythology || Growing Up, Sex, Religious Themes, Suicide, Minor Character Death) – It began when Sherlock was eight, and he attempted to climb all the way up to the highest branch in the old willow tree in his back garden. He'd thought he was still small enough that it could support him, but the second he'd grabbed hold of it to pull himself up, the branch snapped, and down he went, plummeting a solid twenty metres. The odd thing was, he never actually hit the ground.

The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (M, 10,388 w., 2 Ch. || Post TRF, Halloween / Ghosts, Pining Sherlock, Ghost Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Angry Sex, Ghost Sex, Love Confessions, Open / Ambiguous Ending) – In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch. || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835 w., 1 Ch. || POV First Person Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Stroppy Sherlock, Light Humour, Friendship, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Wall Kisses, Fluffy Angst, Happy Ending) – Sherlock doesn't even know why he resents John's dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don't let that scare you off!)

A Hooligans’ Game Played By Gentlemen by scullyseviltwin (E, 15,213 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Rugby as Foreplay, Porn with Lots of Plot, John POV, Ogling, Body Appreciation, Cranky Sherlock, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Cuddling, Touching, Heavy Petting, Blow Job, Botttomlock) – In which John wants to get back in shape, does so, joins a rugby league and has sex with Sherlock Holmes. In that order.

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn't walked through the park and met Stamford? What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sick Fic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky Sherlock, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

[loudest-subtext-in-tv]

A Study in Fate teaser

Here’s the first 2200 words of a novel-length fanfic that I’ll finish sometime this year. It’s a WiP on an atypical schedule: At a later date I’ll release the rest of the first chapter, but then I’ll release everything else all at once.

Some authors don’t like if you hassle them to hurry up, but I may find it motivating. I’m going to attempt to get better at answering my asks/comments so feel free to ask me things about this fic, but keep in mind there’s a lot of things I won’t answer. Please be aware that no one cares if you don’t like first person perspective.

Though a big aspect of this story is about how to manage depression, it starts in a relatively dark place and weaves in and out of it. If you can’t handle unresolved distant thoughts of suicide right now, maybe wait until the entire story is posted.

Finally, I am doing okay financially right now, but two of my fandom friends are not. If you’ve ever wanted to give me money, I now have a Patreon. Anything you give me will help me help them.

Description: After the events of The Empty Hearse, Sherlock struggles to figure out who he is now that John no longer seems willing to play a prominent role in his life. As his mind runs in circles trying to parse their relationship and determine who threw John in the bonfire, his world is shattered by an enigmatic visitor: himself, bearing bad news from the future.

Series 3 time travel remix; series 4 compatible.

Tags and warnings: first person present, agonizing slow burn, explicit but romantic, depression, suicidal ideation, NOT FLUFF, self-actualization

Read on AO3 or under the cut:

Chapter One - The Curtain Rises

One can’t get far without an organizing principle. Every man needs one drive to which all others are subordinate, a touchstone that seizes him with purpose.

I had one once.

Now I have chips.

Dreadful organizing principle, chips: once you’ve got them, there’s nothing propelling you forward anymore. Have enough of them and you hardly want to move at all. God. I was in the best shape of my life, body and mind, and now I’m turning into Mycroft.

Except Mycroft has already transcended these struggles — or so he claims. Yet again, I’m lagging behind on a path I never wanted to follow. Splendid.

Any moment Mrs Hudson will come out and start chattering away about you. That will set me back the rest of the day, yet I won’t ascend the stairs. Does no part of my mind demand control of my brain stem? I’m meant to be some kind of genius: Any visionary corner of my psyche eager to make something of me? No takers?

No. Life is now nothing more but the wandering of here to there. And thoughts like that are why everyone thinks I’m a baby, so for god’s sake stop.

I am all too stopped.

Depression is a dowsing rod: shows you where to dig. So: Why do I halt here, at the bottom of the stairs? Why can’t I face the only place I’ve ever belonged?

It’s not merely that you don’t live here anymore. Not quite. That would be too easy.

Where are you wandering now, John? You got off work an hour ago. No one's called to alert me you've been kidnapped, so there's one thing I didn't miss today.

Still figuring that out, darling. Off my game. Maybe was never on it. Against my better judgment I let romance rot my mind, and you're the one who's suffered most. But I've recovered from less noble chemical weaknesses than your company. Against all odds I still draw breath. If I make myself do nothing else, I will turn this around. I'll prove you can rely on me.

Any threatening emails? You don't just attempt to incinerate a man and move on. For god's sake, give me something.

Oh. A text. Not a threat; a video from the homeless network. Must have been delayed whilst I was on the tube.

There you are, alive and unwell, and here responds my heart but it's nothing. Mere streets away from me, and nowhere near her flat. Why do you do this, John? Is your phone broken? We could just talk about this. Give me another chance and I swear I won't come on so strong. I was too presumptuous when we last spoke weeks ago. I broke your heart, I'm monstrous; you're no longer fond. I get it.

You're no longer fond, but you're in need of a hit. Which is curious, you realize. You understand how a man would get the impression... But no. I won't presume. Life is boring and I'm dangerous and bless you, you need a hit. Just come get one. I'll pretend I'm managing, I'll find a way to switch on that whole persona for you and you can do your hero worship thing. I won't act desperate.

Just show up, and I will respect your wishes.

Do anything but pensively stop on the sidewalk in front of shops you have no intention of entering. It just screams, I'm distracted! Kidnap me! It's been an age and I know you despise me, but if you keep doing this I'm going to have to conduct surprise drills again.

Maybe you're trying to get kidnapped. I wouldn't put it past you. Maybe it would be charity to send a car around for you to blithely climb into. Do you even think about how that would make Mary feel, John?

Of course, it's me you're thinking about right now. The tension in your posture, the unconscious clenching of your hand, the conflict evident on your face even from this distance: definitely me.

You know, I wasn't the only one who presumed. The papers presumed, the entire British populace presumed, even your sister presumed and surely she'd -- No matter. You've made yourself clear. Just: spare a thought for "the best thing that's ever happened" to you. I've no talent for consoling women on my best days, and I'd hate to see how I'd fare in a worse state than her.

No, I don't know that. I don't know that I love you more than she does. She's never broken your heart.

Oh. Wait, why...? For god's sake, Pilar, why would you approach him? He'll notice.

Well. Can't complain about seeing your eyes more clearly. Not good for my recovery. And there, yes, you've noticed. Paranoia in full swing, hackles raised, and a step forward. 'Can I help you?' in your usual tone that fashions a threat from etiquette.

Not good for my recovery, no. The things you do to my blood, John.

'Got a pound?'

'For someone recording me?' You scoff, narrow your eyes. 'Are you...?'

'Say, aren't you John Watson?' Oh, clever girl. Look at him, pretending he's not pleased to be recognized.

Yet nothing is ever simple with you, John.

'Yeah.' You're either too smart or too suspicious for your own good. (Freud would presume. I'm only saying.) 'Did he...?' You look directly at the camera; at me.

Come on! You assume it’s me? When roaming bands of criminals have set you aflame? Oh here we go, that spark in your eye -- you're going all in:

'Did you put her up to this?'

Oh well.

'Who? What makes you say that, sir?'

'Uh, well he does it all the time.' I don't. 'You know what? Just send it to him.'

'Not sure what you mean, sir.'

'Oh,' you laugh, 'you're not sure what I mean. Stop bloody recording me.'

And that's the end of that.

So. Guess you won't be coming over this week either. Or will you? Are you angry enough to confront me? It's not stalking when it's for your own protection -- just ask my brother, John. God knows he could use the conversation.

I’ve got to find more discreet operatives.

> Next time don't be so obvious.

When did she send this? Ten minutes ago. No, if you were going to come over, you would have arrived by now.

I suppose you’ve already said everything you have to say. But not even a text for stalking, John? I thought we had a connection.

Or we did. Before Moriarty won.

Not your fault. All mine. I underestimated him, failed to foresee the lengths to which he'd go for his insane plan. Didn't realize how many pieces he'd put on the board. Stupid.

A ping:

i thought youd like it? before you whinged you cant hardly see him

It was only supposed to be months, John. Then dozens of pulled threads later and you'd already gone and shacked up with a woman! That's what I get for being thorough.

And not even thorough enough. But if I wasn't thorough enough then neither was MI6, John. If Moriarty still had operatives in London, that's on Mycroft. And me. But definitely on Mycroft.

I don't know. Hate not knowing.

Are we really never going to talk about this? I took down an international crime syndicate for you, and you broke up with me on your blog?

No, no -- sorry. I take full responsibility.

This is ridiculous. I don't know why anyone comes to me to solve their problems. I can't even make it up the stairs.

Ah.

That's it, isn't it? I don’t live up there anymore, either.

Yes. Everyone says you can find Sherlock Holmes just up those stairs, back from the dead and cleverer than ever! Like most things everyone says, it’s not true. I search for him in these rooms daily, and all the evidence points to this: Sherlock Holmes was a character created by John Watson. An exciting story. A fairy tale. (Dare I say a fantasy?)

People will believe anything you tell them, John, and they did. You were so sure I was a hero that even I came to believe it in the end. Now they only keep believing it because I lied. I was never steps ahead, never as infallible as you made me out to be -- and now that you've quit writing me I'll never be anyone at all.

But I'm doing it again. Getting histrionic. I'm not the first nobody to have his heart broken. They all get on with life.

Well: usually. Technically speaking, the most invested ones turn to murder or suicide. On the upside, murder is still in the cards: Assuming I can pull it together long enough to hunt down the appropriate parties, they are murderers and it would be doing the world a favor to murder them right back. In the course of any such investigation there will tend to arise situations in which I would have no choice but to murder them -- or, fortune willing, sacrifice myself so that you may live. Or both! Now that would be a power play: cleanse the board of evil, preserve the king. The ideal way to die may yet fall into my lap.

It's nice to have things to look forward to.

But say it doesn't pan out. Given my recent track record it would be foolish to place undue faith in my forecasting abilities, and after all, I don't know for certain this has anything to do with Moriarty's network. He pulled so many rugs out from under me I'm always half expecting yet another rug. I may grow as paranoid as you, John, with him skulking about in my head. For all I know everyone involved was in Moran's network, and I'm chasing after people who are already in custody. Maybe there's no grand end, no power plays, no relief.

That leaves suicide.

I'm not saying I will, John. I refuse to break your heart again. And it would be no way to honor the lengths to which you've gone to preserve my life. They're mere thoughts. They come and go -- always have, and I always haven't. I'm not going to do it, and if I am, I can always do it later.

But no appealing alternative has revealed itself. Only the obvious path for the invested: live like everyone else, and finally sever myself from aspiring to anything meaningful or exciting. Growing up, they call it.

Freud called it repression, so let's hold off on drastic measures. I made this life work before and I can make it work again.

Of course, that was easy for Freud to say: Being invested in life isn't an exercise in masochism when you have a lifelong companion. Not to be maudlin, John, but I wasn't making it work until you came along. Not truly. You were the gear that made it all click. I couldn't become Sherlock Holmes until you facilitated it.

It felt like the strength you granted me persisted during our years apart, but it's no surprise I drifted off course the moment you weren't at my side. That's not superstitious, John, that’s just a cold fact. You would have caught the little things I didn't. You would have kept my ego in check.

But what's done is done. I'll muster some strength for you. Reinvent myself again. Reorder my mind, keep myself off the needle and the pavement until I tie up these loose ends. Then... who knows.

Maybe someone else will come along.

Well. Feels good to laugh.

I’ve got to get on with it. Life may be a flight of uncarpeted stairs, but I'm sick of being down here.

'Going out, dear? John didn't call, did he?'

Will I always be this damned slow?

I sigh loudly, not that it will make any difference. 'No, and no.' You scowl like you do when I talk about him. 'Just getting in.'

You frown. 'But we were just talking.'

My heart leaps. 'You and John?'

'No, silly.' My heart falls. You tilt your head; smile. 'You and me.'

'You were talking. I was out.'

You shake your head and laugh, a cheery, infuriating tinkle. 'You had quite a lot to--'

'Mrs Hudson.' For god's sake, do not go senile on me. Not one more straw.

'Is it drugs, dear?' Terrible, hushed pity. Everyone always leaps straight to drugs! 'Oh don't get angry, I know all the signs! The nerve of him, putting you in this state. I'd say a few things to him, if only he'd come around once in a--'

Anything has got to be better than this.

'Project much?' The stairs are fine two at a time.

'I need those for my hip!’

'Adjust your dose! You're clearly...’ What?

What in the world?

'That would explain so much,' he says, and the room tilts.

Through the door. There I am. There he is.

Sherlock Holmes.

End notes:

In The Lying Detective, Sherlock tells Faith that chips are “the only perk” of being suicidal. In The Empty Hearse, he was eating chips when Mary told him John had been kidnapped.

John’s most recent blog entry before this story takes place is The Empty Hearse. It’s a mindfuck minefield for poor Sherlock, but we’ll get into that more soon. For now, know it contains this doozy: “Oh, and in other news, I’ve got engaged. But, it’s not something I’m really going to talk about much here. I want to keep some things private. I will say, though, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Sorry, Sherlock :)”

I borrowed the name Pilar from Sherlock Holmes and the Baker Street Irregulars: The Fall of the Amazing Zalindas, a novel by Tracy Mack and Michael Citrin. I’ve never read it, mind, it just seems like it wouldn’t be the sort of thing Sherlock would assign to Wiggins, and Wiggins would never be so sloppy.

Sherlock is obsessed with Freud. One Freud reference in The Abominable Bride, which was constructed entirely from Sherlock’s drugged out brain, came from Mycroft, who asked John if he was aware of theories of paranoia. Freud believed paranoid people were closeted homosexuals, heavily insinuating that Sherlock believes John is a closeted homosexual. Freud meta to come later; he’s very important.

Freud was with his wife for 57 years.

“Life is a flight of uncarpeted stairs” is from the poem “Spring” by the early 20th century queer poet Edna St. Vincent Millay. She ended up dying of a heart attack that made her fall down the stairs, which is itself poetic. Though she was a woman, I think it’s realistic Sherlock would know about her: the Casebook notes that Sherlock reads the agony aunt columns in women’s magazines because they contain all of life and are pertinent to his line of work, and in the same spirit I’ve made him familiar with all old famous love letters, for which she’s renowned. We also know Sherlock is familiar with Shakespeare and moved enough to remember entire soliloquies, so there’s no way Sherlock could read “Spring” and not retain some of it — especially as John and Mary had been aiming for a spring wedding, and the poem references April, which is just wrapping up as the fic begins.

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

‘The Adventure of Philip Anderson’ Chapter 3: Don’t You Remember?

this chapter focuses more on Sherlock and Molly’s progress as a result of Anderson’s meddling, though he is present to enjoy the show :p

FFN | Ao3 | Buy Me a Coffee?

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.

               Greg Lestrade had been minding his own business. It was a quiet day at the precinct—in fact, it had been quiet for the past few days. It was strange in all honesty. That’s how Greg knew the peace and quiet wouldn’t be lasting for much longer. His prediction proved to be correct when Philip Anderson rushed into his office.

               “Three words,” Anderson told him, upping the suspense. “Sherlock. And. Molly.”

               Whatever Greg was expecting, it wasn’t that. He had to admit, he was intrigued. “I’m listening…”

               Philip took the time to explain all that had happened thus far, making sure to not leave out one detail. He seemed as fanatical about Sherlock and Molly’s love life as he was about his theories of Sherlock’s faked death. It was a bit scary, but entertaining as hell.

               “So, that’s why I need you to find a case that would have them working together,” Anderson explained. “It can’t just be any case, though; it has to be a really good one. Maybe something that gives an air of nostalgia.”

               Greg sighed. “I hate to tell you this, mate, but it’s been dead around here for days. Not a murder or kidnapping in sight.” Of course, he wouldn’t wish for these crimes to be happening, but at this point, he wished something would happen. Then the phone rang.

He listened to the voice on the other end intently. Whatever it was, it looked promising by the look on the detective inspector’s face. “Bollocks!” Lestrade exclaimed, hanging up the phone. “There is absolutely no way a man just appears out of thin air! There’s one missing person, one valuable book, and no suspect other than the man who seemingly walks through walls. It’s nearly a dead end case.”

Anderson’s eyes went wide with curiosity. “But, it’s the perfect case for Sherlock and Molly!” He was ecstatic.

“Bit of a mouthful, that,” Greg laughed. “Mollock?”                    

Anderson shook his head vehemently. “Doesn’t roll off the tongue.”

It was then that Greg and Anderson gave each other knowing looks, speaking in unison. “Sherlolly.”

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.

At the Watson residence, Sherlock was keeping an eye on Rosie whilst John tossed a lunch together to bring with him to work at the surgery. Rosie would be brought by her godfather to Mrs. Hudson for the day, seeing as Greg had called moments ago with a case. Much to Sherlock’s chagrin, he’d have to be going this one alone. His phone buzzed, alerting him that there was a text. The hint of a smile appeared on his face as he realised it was from Molly.

I hope you’re not still upset with me.

Sherlock could never stay upset at her—it was a waste of time to dwell on the past.

Greg said he had a really good case for you…I’m on my way to the scene now, so I guess I’ll see you there :)

“John, I’m going to go ahead and take Rosie to Mrs. Hudson,” Sherlock told him.

John turned in confusion. “What’s the rush?”

Only one word from Sherlock, and John understood. “Molly.”

.

.

The chill in the air cut through the layers Molly wore, making her thankful that they need only to remain inside. She and Anderson were tagging along in case the missing person turned up dead. Whilst they waited for Greg’s go-ahead, Molly sent off a couple of texts to Sherlock, giving him a fair warning that they’d be working together. She hadn’t a clue why Greg needed both her and Anderson, but she supposed two forensics members were better than one. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t looked so eager every time he looked at her.

“He’s gone barmy,” she muttered to herself.

Apparently her remark had been picked up by someone else. “Anderson’s always been barmy.” Sherlock’s smooth baritone caused a fluttery feeling in her stomach.  He took in her appearance, wanting to note how lovely she looked today, but that wasn’t what ended up coming out of his mouth. “You look well rested today.” Sherlock was internally berating himself for such a mediocre remark. Well rested? Really?

Molly, being used to his strange remarks, took it in stride. “I, um—thank you?” She turned away from Sherlock for a moment, noticing Anderson’s eyes on them. If he had his way, there would be a bucket of popcorn in his hands as he watched the not-so-fascinating mess of a love story unfold before him. The imagery made her laugh harder than it should have.

Sherlock’s face was pinched in confusion. “What’s so funny?” She was definitely laughing at him.

“N—nothing,” Molly tried to assure him, unable to keep her giggling at bay. She was thankful for Greg’s nod that let them know they were free to investigate the room.

Every wall except for where the door resided was covered with bookcases. They all appeared to be built-in. Whilst Sherlock was reviewing the security footage that she saw earlier, Molly noticed a feature of interest on the far side of the wall. The middle bookcase was the only one that wasn’t built in to the wall. It was bolted, but not part of the wall itself.

“Sherlock? Come here.” Molly was searching the shelves, her index finger skimming over the spines.

Noticing her focus on the shelf, he, too, realised the oddity of the bookcase. “Someone’s been watching too much telly,” he joked. “You can’t seriously believe this is what it appears…”

Molly pulled on a thick volume of ‘The Fall of the Roman Empire,’ and the bookcase swung open.

“…to be,” Sherlock finished. It was too obvious.

               “You always want everything to be so clever,” Moriarty’s voice resounded in his mind palace.

               Molly smiled smugly at him, but her eyes were playful. “Hand me a torch.”

               Sherlock complied, grabbing one for himself as well. Greg and Anderson followed behind through the secret passage. It appeared to be some sort of storage room, and the dust was so thick, Molly had sneezed several times. She had to admit, she was having loads of fun. This case almost reminded her of the first one she went out with Sherlock to solve—the man on the train who happened to be connected to the impending terror strike on London. There was no stopping the memory that was brought to the surface…

               “Moriarty slipped up, he made a mistake.” Though Sherlock’s voice was soft, the intensity in his eyes burned through. Because the one person he thought didn’t matter at all to me was the one person that mattered the most.”

               It was those words that struck a chord within her. Ever since that day, Molly had known Sherlock’s heart completely. She knew that he loved her, that it was more than friendship, but she hadn’t been ready to admit it. That wistful smile of his was one she would never forget. It broke her heart to know she was breaking his, and it broke her still. She realised she was hurting him all over again. Surely she could trust him with her heart…right? Hadn’t he proven that already by letting her go with only a kiss on the cheek?  

Molly was brought out of her memories by the stench of blood that soon hit their noses. Shining the torchlight upon the cold, cement floor, Sherlock used it to follow the trail of blood.

               “Make sure not to slip,” he told them. Rounding the corner, he found the victim. Someone was reported to be missing, but Sherlock hadn’t a clue who exactly it was. Before him was a man that he had met only once when he was let off the hook for ridding the world of Magnussen. This was a government matter. “Mycroft won’t be happy about this.”

[mxsinistir]

Valentine’s Day (Sherlock x Gender Neutral! Reader)

Requested by sovereignoblivious

A/N) I was gonna publish this on Valentine’s Day but there was a school party and I ended up hanging out at my best friend’s house and I didn’t have my laptop so yeah. It’s here now though, so I hope you enjoy!

Request: a romantic and sensual Valentine’s Day one-shot of Sherlock x Gender Neutral! Reader (who are in an established relationship for like 3 years) where Sherlock and Reader have gone on a romantic date (Sherlock gives a bouquet of red roses given to Reader, Reader and Sherlock are dressed nicely to go to a fancy restaurant for their dinner date) and Sherlock has proposed to Reader and after they get back to 221B Baker Street, Sherlock tells Reader what I had put in my Valentine card and then they are kissing and touching each other.

“Happy Valentine’s day, Sherl!” You called out casually, strolling into the morgue with your hands stuffed into the pockets of your lab coat.

“Hmm?” Your boyfriend said, glancing up as you walked to stand next to Molly and Lestrade with a cheeky smile. “I don’t know what you’re on about, but I called you to help me on a case.”

“Flowers?”

“What are you on about?”

“Candy, perhaps?”

“For some reason, Anderson gave a box of chocolate to Donavan this morning, so he has them, evidently.” He said obliviously, “Certainly Mycroft has sweets lying around; you could always ask him.”

You bit back a sigh, “You’re hopeless, babe.” You huffed, blocking out the apologetic looks that Lestrade and Molly were casting you from behind your back. You sat next to Sherlock, watching as he analyzed a sample beneath the microscope, hyper-focused on whatever his latest case entailed.

You weren't sure what you expected. In the three years that you had dated the younger Holmes brother, you had never once been praised like every other significant other on valentines day. Honestly, you felt absolutely single on February fourteenth. Part of you must have just assumed that this year would be different now that John Watson had come into Sherlock’s life.

Maybe part of you had expected some of that emotion to carry into Valentine’s day.

“I told Lestrade it was the backpacker, of course, he didn’t believe me,” Sherlock grumbled over the phone. You just rolled your eyes, murmuring some answer. On the other side of the line, Sherlock sighed. “Are you mad that I didn’t go all out or whatever for this idiotic holiday?” “It’s not just the holiday; it’s like you hardly care about me.” You tried not to sniffle. “Every day of the year,”

“Valentine’s Day is a marketing scheme,”

“It’s a day where you’re supposed to show your affection like a proper boyfriend. Or at the very least, lie about it.” You scoffed. “I’ll see you back at the flat. Molly asked me out to dinner. At least she had the decency to.” You hung up the phone, fuming, despite your better judgement.

You usually didn’t demand his attention. Usually, you were fine with supporting him from the background, even when he became focused on a case and forgot you or anybody else even existed. But for one day, he could remember that you did. Was that too much to ask.

It’s Sherlock Holmes, what do you expect? You told yourself, walking up towards the restaurant while wondering if he’d sent chocolate to Jim Moriarty. You strutted towards the front counter as you slipped through the door.

Molly had texted you earlier, apologizing for Sherlock’s behaviour and begging you to come to dinner for a girl’s night. She was single anyway, she told you. You agreed without putting up much of a fight, and she told you the name of the restaurant (packed with couples acting much happier than you) at which she had already claimed reservations.

“Reservation for Hooper?” You asked, and with some typing, the waiter pointed towards a candlelit table twelve.

And in the soft flame, you made eye contact with a tall brunet; seated and nervously texting somebody, looking around frantically until you walked in. He smiled, reaching under the table.

You had not expected Sherlock Holmes to be the kind of man to bring red roses to date, but you were over the moon.

“What, you didn’t think I’d come through for you?” He asked, handing you the bouquet as you took your seat.

“I don’t know if this is John Watson’s influence making you emotional,” You giggled, taking the flowers, “Of James Moriarty making you dramatic.”

“Both,” He decided, waving down one of the waitresses for wine and an order of fish. You asked for [Favourite Food].

“This place has got to be expensive,” You said quietly, still awestruck as you observed the facility, “Did you prove the innocence of the owner or something? That’s usually how you get discounts at all the other places you take me to eat-“

“No, but it’s not my problem. It’s all going on Mycroft’s card.” He said with disinterest, “I couldn’t give you much this morning because I needed to go to to the parliament building to run into him. He’s always been easy to pickpocket.”

“Nope, you’ve been at morgue all morning.” You called him out with a grin, “Try again,”

“Well, since my attempt to impress you has failed,” The younger Holmes sighed, “Anthea originally got the reservation for her and Mycroft - it’s never hard for her to pull strings, she can get in anywhere. Anyway, there was trouble with the NATO board, and so he’s busy. I asked for the favour, and then used one of Mycroft’s credit cards that I stole a while ago. He has so many that I doubt he even knows it’s missing.”

You laughed fully, making a mental note to thank Mycroft’s assistant later. You and Sherlock continued to make conversation through the evening until your stomachs and hearts will full.

After receiving the check and offering a generous tip to attack Mycroft’s credit celebrate Valentine’s Day, you walked back to 221b, hand in hand.

You ran your thumb over his calloused fingers with a ghost of a smile, looking up at him every now and then to see that he was already looking at you with though sparkling blue eyes and an adorable smile that you wished you saw more.

“Your eyes are dilated,” He noticed. Classic, romantic, Sherlock; you thought as his fingers left the embrace of yours, moving up to your wrist. “Would you like me to take your pulse, too, Valentine?” You giggled.

“Do you think Irene’s expecting candy from you?” “Well, I only do gestures for my favourite person.” He smiled, pecking you on the lips to get a soft giggle from you as you both kept walking.

“You know, John is out with his girlfriend, and Mrs. Hudson has gone out for the weekend,” Sherlock informed you as he closed the door to the flat,

“Good for them,” You said, walking over the kitchen counter to fill a vase of water for your new roses. You turned around to find your consulting detective right behind you, his arms snaking around your waist.

“I’m implying that we have the flat to ourselves,”

“Does it really take a genius to find that out?”  You said with a smirk, pushing up onto your toes and running your hands through his hair as your lips collided, bruising the calloused skin.

“You really are such a romantic, Sherlock Holmes,” You said, pulling away just for air as your arms lazily fell around his shoulders. Without any warning but a mischievous smile, he darted to hook his arms underneath your thighs, never stopping to look anywhere but your bright, smiling eyes.

“Well,” He remarked, “I try,”

[thewinterspy]

i was looking for ‘cheaper by the dozen au’ notes for hours in my documents. and then i realized that i saved it as ‘yours mine and ours’. it’s basically a transcript of a conversation i had with @vermofftiss in the sherlolly chat

katie: I see Sherlock and Molly being more of a "Yours, Mine and Ours" type sam: aww, but that means they're both widows katie: Or they could be single people that decided to have kids on their own before they met sam: ooh, true. ... *whispers* what if widows for a moment. stay with me. what if molly was married to tom before sherlock, and all her kids are convinced she's only with sherlock because he looks like tom katie: hmmm. IDK I think that gives Tom too much improtance. I was thinking that Sherlock just keeps ending up with kids by finding them through the homeless network. sam: i was thinking something like that too. like it starts with maybe two or three he has doing  bit of spywork for him katie: he means to just be a temporary waystation until something permenant comes along but then every person that tries to adopt them he deduce something that makes him go "nope!" sam: but maybe they don't take his money and they're like "we'd rather have a bed than be paid" so sherlock's like "alright, keep up though". but then they stay the night, and the next day, and the next day... katie: and it's not even major things it's that he falls for them. yes! maybe molly is raising her siblings. like she had young siblings that she was left to take care of after her dad died sam: ooh yeah, that could be it. oh my gosh are we thinking hard on this au katie: like they can work together and never know the other has kids~ we could totes collab on this fic! sam: oh my gosh that'd be so much fun! well, sherlock being sherlock, he'd probably notice something on molly and be like "are you a mother, molly?" katie: their kids go to the same school, they meet up at the Headmaster's office because they were fighting and it's like... "oh..." sam: "Oh no, i just take care of my siblings" "Oh. okk." katie: yeah! sam: and sherlock assumes that means like one or two -- ohhh no katie: lol Molly is Catholic of course sam: i'm just giggling about all the misunderstandings. like, when molly meets sherlock's kids, and none of them look the same, and he's like "they're all mine" and molly's thinking to herself "really, you must get around" katie: let's do. YES! and none of his kids call him dead. and she's like "my that's progressive" sam: and it's not just for a minute, imagine if it gets dragged out for days katie: i think there should be three each sam: and the kids are offhandedly mentioning the things that happened in their homes before they ended up on streets and molly's just completely bewildered katie: too many and then it's just madness. yeah! like maybe one of their mothers is an addict and still on the streets and she tries to come around for money or something sometimes sam: "my dad says eat your vegetables or you turn into a bird" "my dad didn't like vegetables" "my dad would *never( be able to pronounce vegetable!" can you imagine one of the kids being used as sherlock's pressure point katie: AHHH! sam: sit back and imagine the catatonic rage if one of them was taken. katie: yes that can tie in with the addict mom still on the street sam: can you imagine if one of molly's siblings was taken! katie: like they could be taken together. sam: what if they're all like "we don't like sherlock" but then he saves them and they're like "he's ok i guess" katie: they fight over whose fault it. YES! ok so here it is. the kid is a pressure point so the person in question basically uses the addict mom by getting her set up in a flat with an income and polishing her up to look like she's recovered and she wants her kid back and then they stage the kidnapping to make Sherlock look like an unsuitable guardian sam: OOOH, yes! ..... oh my god, what if moriarty katie: and the poor kid can be conflicted because he really loves his mom sam: because when moriarty was first trying to ruin sherlock, the most important thing to sherlock was the work. katie: but she's not interested in recovering sam: but now it's all about family for him katie: yes! so where will john fit in? or is this after he gets with mary? sam: i think he's probably with mary and baby watson katie: works! sam: but he and mary probably stop by to help with the kids/cases/etc. "uncle john" and "aunt mary" katie: yeah and he's their pediatrician as well or something sam: of course sherlock's like "they're not your aunt and uncle" "whatever you say, dad" "sherlock." "dad." "sherlock." dad." "sherlock." "dad." katie: yeah and toward the end he and Molly find out they're pregnant and when they announce it his kids are like "congratulations, Sherlock" and he's like "You should call me dad." sam: AHHHH that's so cute. ok i'm screencapping this, this is all too great katie: so it can be angst and smut and fluff and everything that is awesome in the universe sam: yessssss. all i really want is sherlock being sherlock-ish with a bunch of kids katie: definitely! sam: BUT there's one small one where he just can't help but be very caring and gentle around katie: no OOC and no crack. yes! like maybe he found that one and he or she doesn't speak. and he can use his skills of deduction to understand what he or she needs or wants sam: g osh i'm just squealing, that's so adorable katie: like it's trauma-related psychosematic mutism sam: of course, if anyone ever told sherlock he was adorable, he'd go into a sulk katie: right!? one big moment in the fic can be after molly and sherlock are together and they're all cohabiting like a real family the little one starts talking again sam: AWWW. ok, my brain gave me this katie: like something super innocuous like "pass the wheetabix. pelase" and everyone is like O.O sam: maybe sherlock's tucking in the little one. he usually doesn't tuck in the kids, but maybe something happens and they ask him to, so he does it. and the quiet one just sort of snuffles and asks about molly. "is molly gonna be our mummy?" katie: awww! sam: and the others just look at sherlock expectantly. im just katie: And they'll definitely need to rent out 221c. OMG all the Mrs. Hudson moments would be priceless. sam: lol, yes! they need plenty of room. katie: Like Mrs. Hudson always has treats for the little ones sam: awww katie: the older ones go in and raid her cupboards without asking and she doesn't mind. sam: by older ones you mean sherlock? katie: like they come straight home from school and instead of going up to 221b they go to Mrs. Hudson and she's always stuffing them with goodies. they sit around and watch jeremy kyle and one of the kids is looming yarn with her sam: what a small sherlolly moment where molly's feeling unsure about taking care of her siblings, because she misses her dad, and something's gone wrong? katie: yes! sam: and sherlock ends up comforting her. but it's sherlock, so he probably does it without realizing he's done it. katie: yeah he helps her realize she can do it. Sherlock's kids help Molly's siblings come to terms with the death of their parents sam: all the squabbles though, can you imagine katie: YEP! sam: sherlock's kids might think molly's siblings are snobbish and ungrateful because "at least you still have a home" katie: i imagine the older ones will get into a squabble and one of Molly's calsl one of Sherlock's street trash sam: ooof, what if one of hte kids say that in earshot of sherlock, who's hurt by it without realizing he's hurt katie: and Molly takes them aside and rails on them sam: because he thinks he's done alright by the kids, but the kids are assuming that sherlock's care is temporary, because they've never had anything permenant katie: aww yeah! yeah realize this will be about a bazillion chapters long! well we definitely need to write this. i know AO3 has a cowriting option I just don't know how it works sam: i'm sure we can figure it out. ao3's not that tricky katie: that's why i love it! of cousre we have to have an epilogue with molly and sherlock's "oops" baby being raised in this epic blended family sam: aww, yes! all these kids need names too katie: like looking at her life and all her awesome brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and how her family is different from everyone else's that makes her extra lucky. yep! sherlock's kids can have really urban sounding names sam: i think sherlock's kids would probably make something up. like, little nicknames. katie: yeah! sam: oooh, and for the quiet one, maybe the other kids give them a nickname? katie: like they call her Kitty because she likes to curl up in your lap sam: awwww katie: in the official paperwork they settle on "katherine" OMG the older ones prank mycroft whenever he comes round. but kitty is always sweet to him and wants to sit in his lap and hug him and he's just like uhm... sam: "Sherlock what do I do with the small one?" "If you rub her back she hums." *"Sherlock."* "No, honest to god, she does." katie: like maybe he found her hiding in a skip and he had to lure her out with sweeties sam: awww, and what if kitty actually doesn't want to get close to him at first, but maybe he does one of those small monologue things about "it's okay to be scared" and stuff like that katie: yeah!! sam: maybe he finds her on a case! katie: yes! he thinks she might have been a witness. but by the time she's able to talk about it it's too late to do anything about it... legally. so they go vigilante justice on their ass sam: oooh, yes! katie: ooh ok so he lures her out with food! sam: Yes! oooh, maybe he just happens to have a sweet in his pocket because mrs. hudson was handing candies to the other kids? katie: at first he's just trying to get her out but she won't so he and John get sandwiches and just sit by the skip and lay an extra sandwich a little bit away from them and start eating and are like "mmm sure its good!" and she kinda sneakily gets closer and closer and they pretend not to notice that she sat down beside them and started eating the other sandwich

[ithinkthereforiamfandom]

I have no idea what to call this but here it is!

(Another Reichenbach reunion AU, with thanks to @underestimatemethatwillbefun for her encouragement to go long in this one. 3K.)

You can also read it on AO3 as the Finally titled Idiots!

*weeks ago*

Sherlock had torn through the last two spiders nests so quickly that he’d barely interrogated the last three men before executing them. He never imagined he would become this, a killer, but maybe Moriarty had burned the heart out of him. He still left evidence at each scene for the local police to confirm that only Moriarty's people had died but it was getting difficult to waste the time doing so. Moriarty was dead and his web had finally melted in desperate fire, if anything still survived it would hopefully die in the blaze Sherlock left behind him because he needed to get home now. There had been no news of John on any of Mycroft’s supposedly secure files for months but a deep hack had given him everything, a nightmare, he had told his brother to watch over John Watson because he knew this mission might end his own life. Now he would have to kill Mycroft, what the hell was his useless big brother even doing.

…

Mycroft gripped the handle of his umbrella as he looked at the wasted form strapped to the gurney behind bullet proof glass. There was nothing he could do but watch the scraps of his brother's only friend fade away. “John Watson, you have been convicted of the number of thirteen men and sentenced to death by lethal injection. Your sentence is about to be carried out, do you have any last words" “Sherlock" was the only response from Dr John Watson former Captain in her Majesties RAMC. He'd had not spoken for months, not to his friends, not to his victims, not even in his own defence.

John breathed out the only name that meant anything anymore, his reason for everything. His body ached from neglect and even his final cup of tea had just tasted wrong but his mind raced and he couldn't figure out if it was because the needle was about to go in or because it was finally the end of everything. He felt the needle sting his skin so he closed his eyes, slowed his breathing and just hoped.

Mycroft lowered his gaze, John was the only link left he had to Sherlock’s legacy and soon John would be gone too although the records of thirteen flawlessly disassembled bodies in the morgue told the tale of how long Dr Watson had really been gone for. Raising his eyes Mycroft saw the emaciated frame shudder and his eyes dropped on the floor again however they would not focus and Mycroft could not raise his head or even keep his eyes open. He felt darkness engulf his mind and knew he was sliding off the chair. He couldn’t even brace himself to land, all he could do was hope.

John’s eyes flew open as three heavy thumps set his heart racing; his executioner, the doctor who would declare him dead… and the last had been metallic, the door obviously. He couldn’t understand why he was conscious but he opened his eyes and forced his vision to focus. A pale shape swam into view as a blur of high cheek bones and black hair before everything darkened again, he'd have smiled if he could because Sherlock had made him tea.

Sherlock was high as a kite but Wiggins had been right the hit had counteracted the drug he had pumped through the air conditioning so he eased the needle out of John's arm, unbuckled the hateful straps and lifted his friend off the gurney that would have been his death bed. He would have to take Mycroft too because he had words for his brother, a lot of words but they would have to wait because John was more important right now. Getting his unconscious brother into the estate car Molly had hired proved complicated as Mycroft had picked up some weight, clearly grieving made his brother eat more, Kummerspeck as the Germans would say. John had lost stones, far too much weight which he couldn’t afford too loose and even Molly was showing strain too, hiding his secret had taken a toll on her. He had taken a toll on everyone.

Lugging Mycroft up the stairs was a chore and Sherlock almost left him to sleep off the gas in the hall but he was always unbearable after a night on the floor. John weighed nothing Though Molly assured Sherlock his pulse was steady just a bit slow, none of the executioner’s drugs had been administered but “He’s in a bit of a state Sherlock". John was soon tucked into Sherlock’s own bed, he'd barely been able to enter John’s room it was an orgy of evidence; Maps, time tables for victims routines, disposal plans. It was horrifying but amateurish in its simplicity and Sherlock shuddered at the thought that John truly was so far gone so he tried not to think of the rest of the evidence, the days of stubble on John’s face and how his fine bones pressed too close under his papery skin. He quietly thanked Molly and closed the door because a hot shower was all Sherlock needed though he wept and shook under the beating spray as the faces of his friends suffered behind his eyes. Once he felt clean again the water had run cold so he wrapped himself up in his oldest dressing gown and collapsed on the bed next to whatever was left of John Hamish Watson.

John woke slowly to the dusty smell of neglected bed sheets and he opened his eyes to see Sherlock with his dark curls damp on the pillow, alive but looking noticeably undernourished even in the soft streetlamps. His every hope was suddenly fulfilled right there in front of him and the last few months crashed down on him; the fear that had been they were wrong, the desperate choice he had made, again and again those horrific reports, even his endless simple hunger. It was over, it had worked. He buried his face in the pillow and wept, exhausted, broken but so relieved.

Sherlock was pulled out of his doze by a gut wrenching sound, an exhausted sobbing noise he never thought that John Watson could even make but he could offer no comfort for John's destroyed life so he could only watch silently as the man who saved him, the man he had saved, and his only friend cried himself back to sleep. Once John’s breathing had settled and Sherlock was sure his REM cycle was stable he carefully got up and dressed in familiar clothes that no longer fit him. He made toast in the kitchen, poorly as he’d long lost the knack of their toaster then ate some food and waited for his brother. The drugs he'd used would leave one feeling pretty terrible without the antidote he’d taken and fed to John as well but Sherlock found he just couldn’t care right now, so he crunched through bad toast and tried to stare his big brother into consciousness… it used to work.

Mycroft woke strangely groggy and his neck screamed as he lifted his head. His nose told him he wasn’t home as dust, chemicals and burning toast told him he was in 221B and the pain in his spine confirmed it. “You’ve been slipping BrotherMine, thirteen dead, you need to fix this Mycroft” Mycroft turned to meet the chilly variegated eyes glaring at him from across the room, his mad, feckless, ridiculous little brother was alive with toast crumbs in his cheek, Sherlock lived and was clearly angry but Mycroft knew his part in his brother’s dramatics. “The sofa, really Sherlock” Mycroft drawled only to start off the sofa as Sherlock slumped to the floor, Sherlock had shot to his feet at his brother's cavalier comment but now instead of his usual spirited tirade he was sprawled across the dusty rug where the light from the windows threw his face into sharp relief, the hollows at his cheeks and temples evidence of the ordeal that Mycroft didn't want to deduce. He rolled his little brother over in a practised move, even high Sherlock usually responded to being touched so Mycroft shook him and started calling his name, his panic must have coloured his voice because it drew soft steps padding down the hall from his brother's room. There's a Doctor in the house.

John stirred at the sound of a heavy thump but when he heard actual panic in the voice of Mycroft Holmes he jolted awake because the only thing that could make Mycroft panic was Sherlock, so Sherlock must have been the thump which was always a bit not good. Sighing he heaved himself out of bed and headed into the lounge to see Mycroft leaning over the prone body of his little brother and looking to John for help. John never thought he would hear Mycroft panic but once they had Sherlock semi conscious and back on the sofa he understood why. Scars, some months old and some still healing covered Sherlock's pale skin like constellations of stars and he would have to call Molly as there were track marks as well, he needed to know what had been pumped into his best friend.

Molly heard her phone go off in the middle of the night and answered it in her sleep, it was John and her adrenalin spiked but he sounded anxious and not angry which was a relief. Mycroft would get her any equipment she required but they needed the blood work for Sherlock done at once, she had no idea how they would get some of the larger pieces into 221B but assumed the government had field versions. “You're the only one we can trust with this, please Molly" John had pleaded and that had stung a little, they trusted her but of course they trusted her so she just had to keep it together. She spoke briefly to Mycroft not trusting herself with a perceptive Holmes and gave him the list she needed after confirming how much of Sherlock's own lab still existed. The lab was entirely untouched so the list was short. “Gimme an hour okay? I need a wash and some food” “Of course Miss Hooper, it will take a few moments to obtain everything and set it up, fortunately my brother’s laboratory was surprisingly well appointed.” Molly swallowed bile because Mycroft Holmes was being polite, compliments meant things must be bad.

Mrs Hudson woke up at a loud thump she knew the sound of someone falling down on the floor above but who, had someone broken in? She knew that John’s execution was tonight and she had cried and scolded those two for their insane gamble with John's life or had the plan worked. She prepared a tea tray for three including a few gingernuts and carefully started up the stairs. She would always believe in her mad boy, always believe in Sherlock Holmes so she could only hope. Mrs Hudson raced up the last flight with a cry at the sight of the dark haired figure on the floor but John was attending to him and Mycroft was here so it must have worked, Sherlock had come back to save John. She had been so terribly worried but they were finally home and she leaned quietly on Mycroft's shoulder as she recovered.

Mycroft watched Molly Hopper trudge up the stairs and he observed that she looked tense and exhausted but they had relied heavily on her for the last few months. Someone had been needed to create the records of John's murder spree who would also be motivated enough to keep their secret and any actual bodies would have gone to St Barts anyway. There was nothing to fix as his brother had so eloquently put it but he needed his brother conscious to hear that so he left the medical work to the medical professionals and felt his shoulders relax as Molly worked efficiently at finding a vein and starting the necessary tests but something was off... She had been relieved but not surprised to see Sherlock back in 221B. Had she always had faith in him or was he missing the blindingly obvious... Rolling his eyes he had to know the truth. “Miss Hooper” Mycroft started as calmly as possible. “You seem relieved but not surprised to see my brother is there something we’ve missed by any chance" Mycroft watched the pathologist’s throat freeze before she cleared it “He thought it for the best.”

The argument she had had with Sherlock had boiled in Molly's stomach for weeks like acid biting whenever she tried to eat. She had wanted him to not leave his friends thinking him dead but he had eventually admitted that he was not sure if he would survive and would rather face the consequences of his return than die on the mission and leave everyone who cared so much with no closure. It was a relief to tell everything at last; to share how she had drawn the required blood and provided a corpse which was why the final show down had taken place at the hospital. She explained painstakingly finding the lookalike’s corpse and faking the records for the funeral, a coffin for Moriarty's last victim.

John could not believe his ears and he knew he should be furious but Sherlock was home and John could admit that Molly had been brilliant. She had known Sherlock hadn’t died all the time she had helped them with their plan but she had never simply told them because she wasn’t sure if he was still not dead. Hearing Mycroft's long suffering groan had confirmed it they had been thoroughly played by Molly bloody Hooper and he smiled to himself until he heard Sherlock calling his name from the lounge.

Sherlock woke up and his neck informed him that Mycroft had left him on the sofa but more importantly “John!” he had to know where John was and seeing him striding out of the kitchen was such a relief that Sherlock even lay still for the brief physical that followed although the cussing out that John gave him next was not so relaxing but he deserved it and clearly he had missed something about the dead men or John wouldn't still be in Baker Street. He glanced at his big brother who gave him the same <Think about it Sherlock> smile that had plagued his childhood, the evidence in John’s room was in tact and a quick trip through his mind palace confirmed there had been no powder or markers from evidence collection, no investigation of the nest upstairs and he'd completely missed it in his panic to save John, had there been no investigation? Sherlock could hear Molly expand on her part in his plan to Mycroft, that's what John had been so angry about but he couldn't think straight and it was driving him crazy. He watched her come in from the kitchen, pale with hectic spots of red at her cheeks and then he understood as she explained that she had faked the murder records for John, Mycroft had fabricated the evidence, and John had written the police reports to ensure the grisly details were correct. “Your life John! You gambled your life that I was alive and would even be able to reach you in time! And you two just let him! You helped him get himself killed!” Sherlock turned from his brother to the woman he trusted.

Mycroft moved quickly between his brother and Miss Hooper, unsure of how Sherlock would react but the sound of laughter ringing from his little brother's chest was the most reassuring thing he had heard for months. “Molly Hooper, you are fantastic! Turn about is fair play?” He watched his brother grin a bit manically then dissolve into giggles at her quiet “Yes Sherlock “ He would have to keep a closer eye on Miss Molly Hooper as there was clearly more there than he first saw not many people could fool Sherlock much less himself. The blood work had come back telling it's own nightmare of malnutrition, various drugs including Morphine though that was excusable as pain management, and even a mild infection setting in. It would takes weeks to get Sherlock's system sorted out but as he watched his brother chuckle over Molly deceiving them all he felt less apprehensive, Sherlock had a good team... good friends around him and while explaining to his sibling that the information of John's murders had been deliberately hidden where he would find it was unnecessary, Sherlock always liked explanations and Mycroft was in an indulgent mood.

Mrs Hudson heard Sherlock's laughter from 221B and was smiling herself when she arrived with more tea and biscuits. Dear Molly had had a finger in both pies and she couldn't imagine the stress the poor thing must have felt but everyone was home and Mycroft was going to ensure the evidence against John disappeared, it had never really existed. The gingernuts were all gone but at least her boys were eating again, John had been starving himself ruthlessly for ages, he was a doctor though and knew how to handle the consequences. She would look after her boys for a while still and another round of tea would see everyone till dinner time.

Greg ground his teeth, he had been in for it since Sherlock had jumped and didn’t want to contemplate why he had been summoned to the office of Mycroft Holmes, but the Chief had given him orders so off he went. Was he going to be blamed for John's loosing the plot too? Greg just didn't care anymore, the two of them had been amazing and now it was all in ruins... he blamed himself for his friends downfall already anyway. He was met by an attractively professional woman and John, looking a bit healthier than he had in prison if still a little grey in the face. “What the hell, John!” Greg almost grabbed the shorter man off his feet as his heart raced. “Mistrial as it happens" John replied to his unasked question. “He'll explain everything” and John led the way into Mycroft's office. “Mr Holmes, perhaps you could explain.” But Mycroft just smiled at him like a snake that had spotted it’s favourite prey. “This may come as a bit of a shock Detective Inspector, but we’ve a doctor in attendance" “Lestrade... Greg"

Sherlock watched his friend reel backwards from him but held his ground as John settled the man into a chair. “God you called me Greg! Now I know I’m dreaming, you mad bastards. You’re both dead, am I dead? John what?” John took Greg's pulse as the colour returned to his face and Sherlock breathed again before explaining. “My fall was a trick for Moriarty's network, if I was dead I could dismantle the web and everyone would be safe, you see, he gave orders to his snipers to kill those I cared for and killed himself before I could make him rescind them. John never believed it so he and Mycroft came up with their idiotically insane plan to get John done for murder and tempt me home to save him.” “Idiotic, You jump off a building!” John burst out before subsiding with a chuckle.

Mycroft rose and handed the DI the file that showed who the targets where. “Thanks for that Mate” He’d said to Sherlock and Mycroft left them his office to discuss things. Sherlock would be fine.

[possiblyimbiassed]

What happened to Sherlock? Part IV – Heartbreak and coma (2)

This is the second post of the fourth installment of my meta series where I try to use Sherlock’s own methods to find out what’s happened to him in the show; you can read the first one here. This is about my hypothesis #4: At some point in time between TSoT and HLV, Sherlock takes an overdose of drugs and ends up in coma. In the first post I tested a prediction to try to verify the coma part. Here are the remaining four predictions that I’ll test the same way, corresponding to the rest of my hypothesis. Since this post won’t make much sense unless you’ve read the first one, and since this is also a monster-post, I’ll put the whole thing under the cut, except for this picture of a comatose hospitalized Sherlock in TLD:

Disclaimer: If you feel the subject matter upsetting, please don’t read further - take care and stay safe! I also want to state that no matter what happens in S4 - like nurse Cornish said in TLD, I’m fully convinced Sherlock will survive this. He will pull through and solve The Final Problem - staying alive.

Prediction #2: It will be possible to deduce from events in the show that Sherlock might have harmed himself, and even overdosed.

Observations: There are some scenes - mostly in TAB and TLD - which indicate that Sherlock’s state of health might indeed be self-inflicted (at least on the surface). The most obvious ones, in my opinion, are:

1. Sherlock’s OD in the airplane scenes in TAB is treated like a fact, but people aren’t acting accordingly. The case is complete with backstory from Mycroft, Dr Watson saying this cocktail of drugs could kill Sherlock... 

...and assassin nurse ‘Mary’ suggesting he should be in hospital. And we know from TBB that John has specialist skills in being “able to recognize and give immediate and appropriate treatment to a wide range of medical and surgical conditions including --- poisoning/overdose” (among other things), because this is explicitly stated in his CV. It’s also obvious in this scene that Sherlock has administered the drugs on himself. 

But the obviously logical procedure after his OD - taking Sherlock to hospital to try to restore his body functions and maybe save his life - does not happen; no-one disputes Sherlock’s decision to not receive medical treatment. So here we have a person who might just have tried to take his own life with a potentially lethal dose of drugs, but Dr Watson doesn’t even examine him. It’s glossed over as if nothing serious has happened, and no-one reacts properly to it; Sherlock himself acts as if he’s already miraculously recovered, and the others just let him carry on. This is not realistic, it’s not how an overdosed person possibly could behave. Which indicates that this is all taking place inside Sherlock’s brain; it’s Sherlock who wants to gloss over the serious consequences, even though he feels ashamed. Conclusion: the emphasis at Sherlocks OD as such might mean it’s true, but the timeline might be warped and the reactions following the OD twisted because of Sherlock’s drug-induced state.

2. In S4 there are references to self-harm marks on both Faith’s and Sherlock’s arms. The scenes in TLD where Sherlock talks to Faith about self-harm, deducing that her relationship had ended, that she wasn’t ‘getting any’, that she must have scars of self-harm on her left underarm and that her ‘boyfriend’ didn’t notice, are very telling: 

But if ‘Faith’ was actually Euros, what was her purpose of first making Sherlock think she was suicidal and then just disappear? I see it as more likely that this is all about Sherlock processing his own relationship with John. Sherlock might have been sexually frustrated for a long time, because nothing ever happened between them. But at the same time Sherlock wasn’t really in touch with his feelings and basically horrified to ever talk about it with John (greenhouse scene in TAB is testimony). It’s possible that Sherlock had started using again when John had decided to get married (like he did in canon) and had scars of the syringe on his left underarm, but John didn’t notice this, because he wasn’t there. ‘Self-harm’ in this case equals drug use.

3. Nurse Cornish tells John in TLD that Sherlock has ‘made a mess of himself’, when what we actually saw was John assaulting him. 

But why would the nurse in charge blame the victim in front of the perpetrator? And why all this glossing over the fact that John Watson attacked and beat up his friend to the point of hospitalizing him? Sounds very much like Sherlock’s guilt to me, like he’s actually processing the consequences of what he’s done to himself (his OD) in his Extended Mind Palace. 

It also seems like Sherlock is re-hashing things in his EMP, because we already have a scene from the very first episode, where someone accuses Sherlock of having ‘made a mess’:

4. In TFP we learn that Euros cut herself when she was a kid “to see how my muscles worked”. The parents thought it was a suicide attempt. But little Euros is standing here between them, as if the case was being analyzed in Sherlock’s Mind Palace. 

So what if Euros is actually a part of Sherlock himself? If S4 all happens inside Sherlock’s head, this could very well be the case. Which means that Sherlock might have been the one to harm himself as a kid.

5. As I’ve tried to show in this meta, suicide is one of the major themes in this show. It has been referred to or implied so many times, rubbed in so thoroughly, that it’s rather upsetting. This is a very serious topic, and I doubt the show-makers intend to treat it lightly. I’d rather believe they want to catch our attention with it, to contemplate the dire consequences to other people of Sherlock’s OD. Just like I think Sherlock himself does in TLD, when he warns ‘Faith’...

...and throws her gun in the Thames...

...and argues the point:

6. And then there’s ACD canon. Before Holmes ’falls’ with Moriarty in the Reichenbach Fall (The Final Problem) he leaves a note to Watson (= a classic reference to suicide). It’s believed that Doyle’s intention was to let him die and end the story with Watson living an ordinary life with his wife and only nostalgic memories left from his time with Holmes. But the fans protested and insisted for years until ACD ‘resurrected’ Holmes and published new stories. So if ACD almost ‘killed off’ this great character in canon, wouldn’t it be rather canon compliant of Mofftiss to almost do the same thing? One of the canon stories is also named ‘The Dying Detective’, but in BBC Sherlock they’ve changed the name to ‘The Lying Detective’ - maybe in order to not make it too obvious?

7. On a meta level, would there be any reasons for the character of Sherlock Holmes to try to commit suicide? Well, yes; I think there are plenty of hints that there might be. And I believe @tjlcisthenewsexy puts the finger exactly on those reasons in this excellent meta (my bolding): “If a person takes their own life due to depression directly caused by a heterocentric culture and institutionalized homophobia, then is it really suicide? Or is it murder?” I think this issue was raised by Sherlock already in the first episode, albeit in a slightly less obvious way; the victims of the serial killer were persuaded to take their own life when the killer put pressure on them. 

Same thing basically happened in TRF, when Moriarty pressured Sherlock to jump. And in HLV when Lord Smallwood committed suicide after CAM (=Media as a villain) put pressure on him with blackmail. But the real culprit isn’t the victim; it’s society’s norms and attitudes that pressure them. The issue of homophobia isn’t of course openly addressed in BBC Sherlock, but I think it’s heavily implied for us to read between the lines.

Prediction #3: There will be abundant references to Sherlock’s drugs use, since this is the proximate cause of his state and therefore constantly on his mind. 

Why do we see an IV drip with morphine in HLV? Well, this is the episode where Sherlock gets shot in the chest, so naturally he needs morphine as painkiller… But wait a minute; wouldn’t his brother have informed the hospital staff of the risks of giving Sherlock morphine, seeing as he’s a drug addict? And then there’s Janine’s comment:

Observations: There are several drug-related things in HLV that don’t really make sense. 

Firstly, after knowing him for merely a month, Janine seems to be very much aware of Sherlock’s drug dependence. But if she is already this knowledgeable, why did he have to tell her that he had been ‘working’ when he had actually been sleeping in a drug den (and she seemed to buy it)? But if she didn’t know about the drugs, who had suddenly told her now? 

Secondly, for some odd reason, Sherlock’s drug use seems to be a far bigger issue than his shot wound. A gun is used three times in HLV (twice on a human). But there’s a whole bunch of different drug use references, most of which have to do with Sherlock: a) Isaac Whitney, b) Sherlock found in a drug den, c) Sherlock’s blood tested for drugs at Barts, d) Mycroft gathering Sherlock’s ‘fans’ to search 221B for drugs, e) “Don’t appall me when I’m high”, f) IV morphine drip, h) Janine’s comment about drugs being Sherlock’s dream, i) CAM ‘reading’ opium and morphine as pressure points for Sherlock, j) Mrs Hudson ‘running a drug cartel’ and k) Sherlock having Billy drug his whole family. So there are far more references to drug use than to Sherlock almost dying from a gun shot, which is glossed over; no-one seems to really care about his shot wound or chest pain until he falls apart. Mrs Hudson doesn’t seem overly worried when she learns Sherlock has escaped from the hospital. John - his doctor friend - even yells at him to shut up, and threatens to kill him, when he’s supposedly already dying for the second time:

And Sherlock himself starts to talk about ‘surgery’ and the murderer calling the ambulance and other pieces of absurd, illogical nonsense to gloss over the shot wound, which is now threatening his life again. While at the same time claiming that his drug abuse is actually real; he only solves crimes as a substitute for being high...

At Christmas in HLV Sherlock’s own parents are fussing more over pregnant ‘Mary’ than over their own shot-wounded son. He’s fresh home from months in hospital but doesn’t even move strangely. In hospital he had only a plaster over the shot wound, no bruising visible. This is not realistic in my opinion; if Sherlock was really shot wounded, he wouldn’t have been able to escape by the hospital window in the first place. How did he manage to bring the wheelchair with him, by the way, complete with attached IV-drip of morphine? 

The idea of Sherlock risking his life again; all this mystic, dangerous and elaborated scheme to track down ‘Mary’ and confront her with her crime - and for what? Only to then dismiss the shooting as ‘surgery’ that ‘saved his life’ in order to persuade John to stay with her? It’s just not credible; this is more reminiscent of an action movie (Bond?) derailing into absurdity. I think what all these signs tell us is that Sherlock’s real problem isn’t the supposed shot wound; it’s a drug-related problem.

So, now that we’ve established at least the possibility of Sherlock having OD:d on drugs and ended up in coma as a result, we arrive to the point of determining more precisely when it happened.

Prediction #4: If Sherlock falls into coma, there would be a credibility change/difference between ‘before’ and ‘after’ the OD.

Now this is a hard one, because in BBC Sherlock there’s generally a very subtle line between ‘reality’ and ‘imagination’. There are a series of weird events in the whole show that I find it hard to believe in, and many of them happen before HLV…

Irene’s mystic break-ins into 221B which no-one had noticed (ASiB)

Sherlock being visited by Moriarty at 221B after the trial in TRF, before even John got there

Sherlock having a conversation with Moriarty on the rooftop in TRF (how did Sherlock predict that Jim would have him jump off a rooftop in particular and therefore made his arrangement of faked death based on this?) 

Anderson’s sudden metamorphosis into being Sherlock’s fan-club (MHR)

Torture scene in Serbia and Mycroft’s cruel behaviour there (TEH)

Soldiers who don’t feel when they’re being stabbed in the back in TSoT. (This is such a crazy idea, and the given explanation we have is hard to believe)

These things are weird and not very realistic, but at least they might contain a grain of truth somewhere, albeit dramatized. But in HLV and onwards it does get far worse, in my opinion, when people start acting way out of character or doing absurd or outright impossible things. These could be signs that the events from HLV and onwards are fabricated by Sherlock’s brain, rather than representing ‘real’ things that have actually happened.

Out of character As for acting OOC, I think John’s behaviour has some ups and downs in the show, but in HLV he gets abominable to a point of no return; the idea that he would stay together with ‘Mary’ after she shot his best friend is highly unbelievable - pregnancy or not (in fact it’s even less believable that John would find an assassin, who should be in prison and who attempted to kill his friend, fit to raise their child). And the top of the mountain then comes in TLD, when John assaults Sherlock and acts as if it’s all Sherlock’s own fault. No credibility left. 

But I’d still say that it’s an even bigger OOC development to have the world’s most famous detective stop solving crimes and start committing them instead.

Because as far as I can see, crime solving ends with TSoT; after that, Sherlock doesn't solve a single crime case that hasn't directly to do with his own private life: • He fails to solve lady Smallwood’s blackmail case, which instead ends with lord Smallwood's suicide.

• He fails to capture CAM, the criminal who caused this; instead he murders him. The famous crime solver is now a criminal instead. • He fails to solve Emilia Ricolettis case in his own mind; the person he thought was guilty turns out to be Moriarty instead - who is supposed to be dead. • He fails to solve the mystery of why Moriarty's ‘Miss me?’ video is on every screen in the country, which was supposedly the reason for bringing him back to London. • He fails to save a single one of the Thatcher busts from destruction and why would he want to do that anyway; he even smashes the last one himself! • He fails to find the stolen Black pearl of the Borgias; instead he finds the AGRA stick from Mary's assassin gang. • In a highly doubtable deduction sequence without any kind of evidence, Sherlock decides that Charlie Wellsborough's death is no crime at all; he just had an unfortunately badly timed “seizure” in an extremely weird situation. • He fails to solve the Norbury case, which would exonerate ‘Mary’ from accusations of treason; instead ‘Mary’ dies in a most incredible and over-dramatized way which is physically impossible. • He tries to prove that Culverton Smith is a serial killer, but the only thing he manages to prove is that Smith can try to kill him, Sherlock, on his own request. Supposedly, Smith 'can't stop confessing' after that, but we never get to see or know any of these confessions. • The rest of the show (TFP) is exclusively about Sherlock's own family problems. The only 'outsider' crime cases he tries to solve - his sister's death threats against Sherrinford's governor with wife and the three Garrideb brothers - are complete failures; they all die. He believes he saves Molly's life by forcing her to confess that she loves him, but Euros tells him there was never any danger. Failure again. This is rather far away from canon, where Holmes kept solving crimes even after retirement, isn’t it?

But in this show, after TSoT, there’s only one thing that the genius detective manages to do right: he saves John Watson from the bottom of a well. By solving a puzzle.

So yes - I think these things show a huge difference in credibility between 'before' and 'after' TSoT; the world's most famous detective has stopped solving crimes! (But what about all the cases that were supposedly solved by Sherlock 'spinning plates' in TST, you might ask? Not to worry, I'll get back to that later ;))

As for HLV, I think this is the episode where things start getting completely out of control for Sherlock, indicating that he is actually no longer conscious. Which would mean he doesn’t experience new events in the show’s reality, but his brain keeps re-hashing memories, combining them in new ways to solve Sherlock’s personal problems. Apart from the OOC arguments explained above, I tried to point out a series of others in this meta, connected to Janine’s character. We haven’t seen much of her, but in HLV she appears to be a person with less than average intelligence, which I think she didn’t in TSoT:  

Why would Janine risk her employment to let Sherlock sneak into her boss’ high security office at night when she knew he was there? 

Why would Janine believe that Sherlock would propose to her after they had known each other for a month and he had just left her waiting for him the whole night in his flat without knowing where he was?

If Janine and Sherlock haven’t had sex (because of his reluctance), how come she all confidently just gets into the shower with him?

How can Janine miss out on all the mayhem at 221B - a ‘drugs bust’ with several people present, Mycroft being slammed into the wall, Sherlock talking about her boss as a monster, etc.?

Janine just doesn’t behave in a logical manner in HLV. It. Doesn’t. Make.Sense.

Impossible The first outright impossible thing I can spot, is ‘Mary’ getting into CAM’s office faster than Sherlock. Sherlock makes a whole lot of effort explaining to John that the only way to get into CAM’s office is by his private lift, and just how difficult that is.

Anyone who tried to climb up wouldn’t just need the agility of a circus artist like the ‘spider’ in TBB; they would have to climb the façade, break into the flat and knock two people down in basically no time. I think we can safely say that it’s physically impossible to climb a building of 32 floors and manage all that in less than 45 seconds (which is the time it takes for Sherlock and John to go up with the lift after Janine has let Sherlock in).

Some people may want to talk about ‘artistic license’ here, and claim that this is just entertainment, this is just the show makers twisting reality a bit to make their show more exciting. But don’t forget the major weakness of this argument: if we excuse one clearly impossible thing with ‘artistic license’, then we must be prepared to excuse all of them the same way. Which means that the whole rational basis of Sherlock Holmes’ own methods in this show becomes invalid, because then there are no deductions to be made, since nature laws and reality as we know it don’t exist ‘in-show’. Which could very well be the case, as I see it, if nothing in this show is meant to make sense - or if there’s still a coherent plot-line somewhere, but the events we do see are mainly taking place inside Sherlock’s head. But my idea here was still to try to pinpoint a change, a difference in levels of weirdness, between ‘before’ and ‘after’ Sherlock’s presumed OD.

Prediction #5: There will be time- and place-references that coincide with a possible OD directly after TSoT

If Sherlock would take to kill himself, where would it happen, when and how?

Well, I think Sherlock already explains it to Lestrade in this ‘script’ from ASiP published on BBC’s website, where we get this (supposedly) cut out scene:

In other words: Sherlock would kill himself, but in a different time and place, presumably a) after leaving a note and b) after some ‘prior sign’s. And c) he’d do it in a familiar place that means something to him. So, to track down the point in time when Sherlock might have done this, we need to determine a) when he has left some kind of note and b) what ‘prior signs’ that could have preceded this.

Observations

Point in time: As for a), in TAB, after realising that Sherlock has OD:d, we learn that he has made a list of all the drugs that he’s taken; a promise to his brother since years ago. That’s a kind of note – isn’t it? A note that could help saving his life after an overdose.

But there are also hints that TAB isn’t the real time of the OD event:

JOHN: He couldn’t have taken all of that in the last five minutes. MYCROFT: He was high before he got on the plane. MARY: He didn’t seem high. MYCROFT: Nobody deceives like an addict.

But wait; could Sherlock really have overdosed on drugs and after that performed the whole scene at the tarmac? Where he says goodbye to John, jokes with him and makes a whole little coherent speech about the Game and the East Wind? Not very likely for a person who has OD:d if you ask me…

And then there’s also the fact I pointed out in my last meta (X); that Mycroft talks about this OD coming after a ‘week in solitary confinement’ when Sherlock was locked up with his worst enemy - himself. I think this week could well be the time John was on ‘sex holiday’ after the wedding. If the shooting of CAM wasn’t real (which is supported by the easiness with which Sherlock gets away with murder without any kind of lasting consequence), neither has there been any imprisonment. I can rather imagine Sherlock isolating and locking himself in at 221B for a week, trying to alleviate his pain and heartbreak with drugs after John’s wedding.

Regarding the turn of events after a presumed OD which we don’t  actually see, @sagestreet has made a whole reconstruction of how the things could possibly have happened in one of the additions to this meta (please scroll down to the subtitle “TIMELINE FOR A POSSIBLE OD-AFTER-THE-WEDDING SCENARIO”. 

There’s also a note playing a central role in TLD, and I’ve tried to elaborate on this in these two metas: (X, X). The episode TLD seems to take place long after John’s wedding, when he already has a daughter. But what if this is actually not the case? What if the whole of TLD just represents Sherlock’s brain going through events that actually happened immediately after the wedding? (Or even immediately after his faked suicide, in some cases)? 

Geographic place: The whole sequence in TLD about Sherlock isolating himself in 221B, resorting to an intensive drug abuse that is basically killing him, could be showing what really happened with him directly after the wedding. John has (supposedly) abandoned him (honeymoon?) and he’s turning nuts, talking to himself (Billy Wiggins), shooting the walls and playing out a Shakespeare drama all by himself. 

221B would also fit with c), ‘a familiar place that means something’ to Sherlock. The events might in fact be showing some kind of reality, perhaps it’s just the time of them that is twisted and misplaced. Which would seem likely, if this is Sherlock processing his distorted memories of those events inside his still drug-addled brain. On the other hand, the prison where he allegedly would have taken the drugs and got high, before meeting up at the tarmac to board the airplane; none of these places would have the slightest personal meaning to Sherlock, would they? So where exactly is he more likely to take an overdose according to the deleted scene manuscript; in prison or in 221B? I think the answer here is clear.

Prior signs: Regarding b), I’ve already talked about the signs of self-harm in TLD that John doesn’t seem to either notice or acknowledge. The drug abuse is one clear sign of self-harm, but there’s also more subtle things, like Sherlock basically abandoning his job (which he was supposedly ‘married to’) to take over John’s wedding planning; something he would normally find mundane and probably despise. He even tells John’s and Mary’s wedding guests in his speech how utterly useless the ‘wedding tradition’ is. So why does Sherlock even do this? John and Mary would be fully capable of planning their own wedding, wouldn’t they? I think it’s a form of self-harm, self-punishment or maybe even self-imposed martyrdom - “a cross I have to bear” as he tells John, referring to his ‘ordinary’ parents. 

The ‘delayed backstabbing’ in TSoT also makes for a dramatic metaphor about what happens to Sherlock; if he’s the un-seen murder victim of this wedding, the effect of it doesn’t play out until afterwards, when he’s left to his own gloomy thoughts and feelings of abandonment in 221B. Which would mean the delayed back-stabbing was a prior sign to Sherlock’s later ‘bleed-out’. 

It’s also interesting to speculate about exactly when this actual back-stabbing took place. We never get to see the wedding act in TSoT, but we do see the moment when it dawns upon Sherlock that Mary is pregnant. I think Sherlock’s realization of her pregnancy is the last nail in the coffin; that's what ultimately breaks his heart. It’s not until after this moment that Sherlock leaves the party; a marriage can be dissolved, but a child is a child and it will always be John’s responsibility. Which basically means the definite end of their crime-solving life together...

But I think the most important piece of evidence about the time of Sherlock’s possible suicide attempt taking place immediately after John’s wedding is this:

John’s blog stops updating at this point. The blog also took a pause after TRF, but the current gap is definitely the longest. All this time we’ve had John’s blog as a more ‘sober’ account of the events; a ‘second opinion’, if you like, to what I believe the show is: Sherlock’s more colourful and dramatic tale of their life together. Sherlock hacks the blog and posts one last instalment before the blog dies completely. I believe this last post can be seen as Sherlock’s ‘note’, which I’ve tried to explain in these two metas X  , X. 

But what about the blog cases of S4? In TST we see a lot of cases listed by John’s supposed blogging; so many in fact that John tells Sherlock that he can’t go on ‘spinning plates’. Yes, it sounds promising, but since a) John is typing on a jpg-file (which is technically impossible, unless you convert it to or integrate it in another format),

and b) there are no references on the real blog to these new ‘cases’, I’d say that none of these cases are realistic. Which probably means they are fabricated by Sherlock’s brain - some of them are even rip-offs from old cases, like The Six Thatchers.

Last but not least: on a meta level, is there a certain significance to TSoT as an episode that makes it a good time reference for being the point after which Sherlock passes to a comatose state? This analysis isn’t mainly intended to reflect a meta level of the show, it rather focuses on the textual level. That doesn’t mean, however, that I find the meta level unimportant. There are quite a few tumblr analysts that have expanded on the form and shape of this show; its ‘messages’, arguments and conclusions on a meta level. For example, @garkgatiss has published several very thorough analyses of the overall pattern of BBC Sherlock as a five-act drama. In the latest one, dedicated to analyzing Bond and Hannibal references, @garkgatiss points out this about the symmetry pattern of S3 (my bolding):

“S3 doesn’t follow the same Bond/Hannibal triad structure as S2 and S4, and we shouldn’t expect it to. Nevertheless, we still find Bond and Hannibal in TEH and HLV — TEH ‘revives’ the myth of Sherlock Holmes that was destroyed in TRF when Sherlock returns from being dead and proves he was not a fraud after all, and HLV gives Sherlock the Clarice Starling creation myth, as befits the true hero of the story. TSOT, as the overall midpoint of the show, serves its own distinct function in the story that I plan to cover in full at some point, but not here”.

So, TSoT represents the midpoint of the story. It’s also the point after which, I believe, Sherlock enters his comatose state and resorts to pure speculation about the future. Or, should I rather say, he resorts to modeling the emotionally devastating consequences of his own choices, in a series of worst-case scenarios, which are basically S4, but start already in HLV. Which would mean yet another indication of the story arc being symmetric, with the figurative ‘murder case’ in the middle; Sherlock’s heart breaks when John not only marries ‘Mary Morstan’, but even starts a family with her.  Because Sherlock’s discovery in TSoT of ‘Mary’s pregnancy will (in Sherlock’s mind) most certainly mean that John’s days as a companion to Sherlock’s crime solving are counted. A responsible father wouldn’t run around risking his life on a daily basis, would he? So yes - to me TSoT undoubtedly marks a midpoint in this story.

So, to sum it up once again: my belief is that this show is totally happening within Sherlock’s head, from his PoV. But there’s a distinction between what happens before TSoT and after; in the former case Sherlock voluntarily goes through his memories with John, based on reading his blog. In the latter, I think Sherlock’s body is in coma due to an OD, but his mind is racing, thus the extra weirdness.

Summary

In brief, I think Sherlock Holmes has some serious stuff that he needs to deal with, and so has John Watson, even if maybe Sherlock’s issues are the worst. And in S4 Shelock does; he goes from being someone who constantly tries to detach his brain from its inconvenient ‘transport’ of a body, to someone who ultimately allows himself to care deeply and truly. And I believe that’s basically what this show is about: the long and winding road to freedom, the mental journey home to 221B. And on this inner journey, he has to go through hell, which means pain, heartbreak and loss, but also insight and realization. But since this is also the story of a truly brilliant and remarkable human being and his only ’feature of interest’; an extremely competent, brave and loyal person, there’s good hope that they can actually help each other. They just need to overcome their worst adversaries first; their own internalized heteronormativity and homophobia, imposed on them by society.

I think one of the most interesting things with Sherlock’s process is to see that it’s actually his brain that saves him. While Sherlock’s intense emotions lead him to desperate actions that cause a comatose state in his body, his brain still refuses to give up, because it needs to understand. Which - seemingly paradoxically - leads him to seek contact with his own feelings and thereby solve the problem - the final problem. This character development is indeed extraordinary.

Phew! I’m truly grateful for those of you who might have managed to read through these two monster posts. :) The next installment of this meta series - which will hopefully be a bit shorter - will handle Hypothesis #5: Almost everything we see happen in HLV, TAB and S4 is Sherlock ‘running scenarios’ in his mind, based on a mix of his earlier memories and movies he has watched.

Tagging some people who might be interested:  @raggedyblue @ebaeschnbliah @sarahthecoat @gosherlocked @fellshish @sagestreet @tendergingergirl @loveismyrevolution @sherlockshadow @darlingtonsubstitution @tjlcisthenewsexy @devoursjohnlock  @kateis-cakeis @csi-baker-street-babes @sectoralheterochromiairidum @mrskolesouniverse

[holidaysat221b]

Part Two of the List of Sherlolly Prompts as of 5/10/2018

Here is a link to the very informal Sherlolly Prompt FAQ

Below is the list of prompts submitted to @holidaysat221b. Where possible, we have tagged the submitter so that credit can be given if a prompt inspires someone to write a fic or create a piece of art.

Some submissions were specifically labeled as Art prompts, and they have been separated into their own category. However, if you are a fic writer and one of the art prompts calls to you, go for it. Likewise, if one of the other prompts makes you want to draw, have fun with it! Prompts that have been filled at least once will be noted with a link to the fic/art, in case that influences your decision to work with one.

We only ask three things:

1) If you use one of the prompts on this list, please remember to credit the prompt and prompter somewhere in your fic summary/art description or in your notes.

2) Please submit an ask or message @holidaysat221b with a link to your work, the prompt you used, the prompter, and how you want to be identified (in cases where your Tumblr and fic/artist name are different). This will allow us to share your work with our followers and tag the prompter (if possible).

3) We have set up a Sherlolly Prompt Collection on Ao3. If you are planning to post your fic or art on Ao3 and would like to add it to the collection, please do. As of this moment, the collection is open and unmoderated. Please remember to credit the prompt and prompter in your fic/art notes.

On to the Prompts as of May 10, 2018

Everything Else

Sherlock is undercover.   He’s renting a small place and he’s trying to fit in with the extremely old fashioned community that is probably hiding a deadly smuggling ring or something equally bad.  He ends up calling on Molly to come help.   Since he’s already established as an unmarried man, his ‘sister’ (or other family member) arrives for a visit.  Cue living in the same house while hot for each other type shenanigans while pretending to be siblings under the watchful eye of some suspicious townspeople.  -   Anonymous

Molly’s school reunion – Sherlock assumes he’ll be needed to help Molly show everyone up.  The catch:  Molly’s been a beloved peer, so it’s him who gets the obligatory “you hurt her, we’ll end you”. :)  -  @mychakk

Sherlock sees a woman on the street.  Instantly intrigued (you can choose as to why) he follows her.  -  @mel-loves-all

Molly loves wearing Sherlock’s house robes.  -  @mel-loves-all  (Prompt fill - A Seminal Moment by @geekmama)

Molly has a piece of body piercing jewelry or a tattoo located somewhere that surprises and titillates Sherlock.  -  @mel-loves-all  (Prompt fill - Stainless, Captive Bead, 11mm, 14 Gauge. by sunken_standard)

Whenever Molly is close, Sherlock unconsciously always seems to need to touch her in some way after they start dating.  He doesn’t notice it, but Molly does.  -  @mel-loves-all

A midnight dance.  -  @mel-loves-all

John tries to set up Sherlock with a girl.  Unsurprisingly, there are a lot of contenders.  And what does Molly have to say about that?  -  The Silent Fangirl

Through unexpected circumstances, Sherlock and Molly get engaged.  It doesn’t end well.  Crack!fic  -  The Silent Fangirl

Eurus Holmes ships the Sherlolly.  So does John and Mycroft.  Soon, everyone gets dragged into the Sherlolly craze.  Crack!fic  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly lives in the flat across from 221B.  You know, the one that exploded?   Yeah.  But before that, there was a) looking at the hot naked guy in the window b) said hot naked guy crashing into her flat because he just wants to c) her traitorous cat crossing the street to hot naked guy’s flat.  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly stops being Sherlock’s pathologist, and starts being THE Pathologist.  BAMF!Molly  -  The Silent Fangirl

This, Sherlock thinks through the haze of cocaine, truly is the worst form of torture.  Mycroft and Molly’s wedding through Sherlock’s drug-addled POV.  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly commits suicide, but only Sherlock thinks she didn’t.  He may not be wrong.  -  The Silent Fangirl

When John Watson dies, Rosie is given into the care of her godparents.   Problem is, they aren’t exactly on speaking terms.  Bonus for Harry Watson appearance!  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly nearly gets hit by a speeding car … until Sherlock pushes her out of the way and gets hit himself.  H/C  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly in labor.  After watching Mary in labor in TST, I kinda wanna see a funny take on Molly giving birth to her and Sherlock’s child.  Maybe something like Molly being in pain, she wishes out loud she’d never had sex with Sherlock, while Sherlock logically points out how well they emotionally and biologically fit together.  -  Anonymous

Fluff. Molly has been hospitalized for whatever reason.  She decides that she is feeling better and just wants to go home.  However, the hospital does not want to release her yet.  So Molly decides to leave AMA (against medical advice).  She feels she can recover at home just as well and also she is eager to get back to work.  Besides, who is going to know?   This is something someone might expect from Sherlock, but not Molly.   How long before he finds out?  What is his reaction?  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

Angst.  Molly discovers she is pregnant and is not happy about it.  Although she would love to have a baby at some point, right now is not the time.  She and Sherlock do not have a commitment and her career is going well.  She plans to terminate the pregnancy.  Sherlock finds out and tries to stop her.  He please with her to change her mind, marry him and be a family.  Is this just a control tactic or does he really love her?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard (Prompt fill - Turn Right by sunken_standard)

Molly discovers there is Sherlock Holmes RPF (Real Person Fiction) on the internet.  She’s shocked to find that someone called Sherlolly4vr74 has been writing fic about her and Sherlock, and they seem to have a dedicated fan base.  Some of the stories are very sweet and romantic, some of them are hot enough to give her NSFW ideas.  Who is Sherlolly4vr74 (Is it Anderson?  Mrs Hudson?  Mary?  John?  I bet it’s John.) and is Sherlock aware of the stories?  -  @darnedchild  (Prompt fill - This Love…is sweeter than fiction by escailyy)

Eurus has been known to put on a persona and disguise to get close to people for information – she was Faith for Sherlock, E and the psychiatrist for John.  What if she had also spent some time around Molly prior to the events at Sherrinford?  What information would she have gleaned about her brother and his pathologist?  -  @darnedchild

Can they be R rated. Because I feel Sherlock would not muck about, with telling Molly what he would like to do to her, he would not use cute little names for all her female parts and would go into great detail, like all his cases. She would be his very serious case. Yes he would most defiantly do a lot of research on pleasing her. Write it however you are most comfortable with.  -  @oliverfel4

Sherlock and Molly are getting married!  It’s time to work on the guest list for the wedding, and suddenly they are faced with the question—Do they let Euros come, or not?  -  @celticmoonbeam  (Prompt fill - Untitled Tumblr post by @theresadunn)

Shipwrecked Sherlolly—Sherlock saves Molly from drowning.  -  Anonymous  (Prompt fill - Untitled Tumblr post (TBC?) by @mizjoely)

Euros leads Sherlock to believe that he failed, and Molly was killed after the ILY scene.  Much angst ensues as he blames himself for her loss … but then we get to see the happy reunion scene when he learns she’s alive.  -  Anonymous

Moriarty trying to up Sherlock by sleeping with Molly, but the joke is on him, as Sherlock and Molly knew each other from secondary school/uni and were each other’s firsts.  They can be regular (exclusive) lovers too.  -  @mychakk

Mary as matchmaker.  At John and Mary’s wedding, Mary feels a little sad when they leave him alone to go dance (“What about you?”).  She decides to make it her mission to help Sherlock find a girl so he’s not alone anymore.  And this former agent has no trouble figuring out the potential between Sherlock and a certain Molly Hooper … (Up to you whether or not you want to throw in a Janine segue before she decides to set him up with Molly.  And feel free to cover Sherlock being shot!) -  @celticmoonbeam

Molly discovers she’s pregnant with Sherlock’s child at the worst possible time:  while she’s with his parents, being hidden away, and the two are pretending to be just friends.  Bonus if they figure it out before they’re told!  -   @penaltywaltz

After the events of TFP, Molly and Sherlock get closer.  Suddenly, though, he pulls away and starts flirting with a coworker of hers, sometimes blatantly in front of her.   It isn’t until an event at Barts that the truth comes out that it was all for a case.  -  @penaltywaltz

Molly finds out that as a child Sherlock liked the book “The Westing Game” and for one of his birthdays she arranges a vacation mimicking the plot of the book, even if none of them really fit the particular characters.  -  @penaltywaltz

Sherlock wants to make a gourmet meal for Molly for a special occasion, but he doesn’t seem to get it quite right.  Fortunately, a friend/relative is willing to help.  -  @penaltywaltz

Sherlock moves in with Molly and begins perusing her book collection, picking up random books that have interesting looking covers, and the next thing Molly knows he’s turned into a fantasy buff.  -  @penaltywaltz  (Prompt fill - Stories & Stories by SimplyShelbs16)

Non-established Sherlolly.  Sherlock gets a hold of Molly’s phone one afternoon and can’t resist snooping.  He’s surprised to see a folder in her photo gallery marked “Special” and it’s all photos of him.  -  @penaltywaltz

Have you had sex? – After Euros asked that I somehow thought “Molly??” (as Sherlock says, Irene only texts him, he doesn’t reply).  Later it seems that Euros is the only one who ever has noticed that Molly causes some emotions in him.  So my theory is that something happened between Molly and Sherlock, it happened pretty recently, somehow (stressful night and they talked or they had some drinks and somehow one thing led to another) they ended up having sex; but Sherlock wasn’t good at dealing with it after or something urgent came along and he didn’t really consider Molly’s emotions, he ran off right after or in the morning, and that could be the reason why Molly didn’t pick up the phone first and was in a bad mood during the “ILY scene”.  What happened between them recently is the reason why Molly is a bit rude to Sherlock when he calls, and the reason why she gets so emotional and raw so easily over the I Love You thing, and why she so easily tells him to say it first.  Well, then when Sherlock says “I love you” he finally realizes fully that he really does love her too, and that he is capable of loving that way, and finally sees how easy it could be and what he could lose.  Then after this whole thing he goes to talk to Molly and explain things to her.  - @lullikiish

Complete me as a person. — Scene that popped into my mind.  Irene has been texting Sherlock again, Sherlock in the end almost agrees to meet her for dinner, but as he’s walking out of his flat while Molly is there looking after Rosie he sees Molly in kind of slo-mo in the golden evening sun holding Rosie and being all sweet.  Maybe already something a bit has happened before between them, some flirting, etc.  The talk with John about a relationship completing him as a person is on the back of his mind.  He walks out, but midway down the stairs while taking his phone out (symbolically in darkness compared to that evening sun) he realizes that he misses that warmth and Molly, and realizes that is what completes him.  He takes out his phone and texts he’s not coming and then goes back upstairs.  Sees Molly all adorable and confused/surprised in this beautiful light and maybe goes to kiss her, etc.  -  @lullikiish

Crack!fic. Molly and Sherlock had a fake wedding for a case. However, when Molly applies for a marriage license to Tom, it turns out the wedding was actually real. She has to approach Sherlock for an annulment. It seems Sherlock deleted the event, because he doesn’t seem to remember it. Or does he? It seems he is too busy to sign the paperwork, he has misplaced it, always an excuse not to dissolve the marriage. Eventually he has to admit he really does want to be married to her. So Molly has to decide between two men. Which one does she choose? 😉  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Molly, unbeknownst to Sherlock, suffers from psoriasis since her teen years. This is why she’s been adamant about being more physically intimate with him, no matter how much she wants to. Fortunately for her, Sherlock doesn’t care about it at all. Could be a hard T or M rating. Loosely inspired by Loo’s own bout with the disease.  -  @violetjersey  (Prompt fill - #Balm by @hobbitsdoitbetter)

Fluff and maybe smut, or angst with a happy ending: Molly has a creepy feeling that she is being followed, and goes to Lestrade for help. He discovers that she has a security detail, curtesy of Sherlock. Molly is not pleased with this situation. Sherlock doesn’t understand why not, shouldn’t she be glad that he cares about her safety? After getting an earful from Molly, he cancels the security detail. Molly promptly leaves town without a word to anyone, leaving Sherlock to sweat. Is she okay? Most likely she is on a beach sipping Margaritas, but maybe she’s in trouble. He would like to make amends but first he as to find her. Should he try to locate her or leave her alone as requested?  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

I have read this in one or two fics, but not really developed as a main theme of the story … so: What if Rosie wants to pair John and Molly? How Sherlock will react and … how will he convince Rosie that Molly is for him and not for John. I’m imagining some angst in the middle because the silly man thinks this is a wonderful idea: Rosie gets a mummy and Molly gets a family. In fact, Sherlock sets up a date between Molly and John while he’s babysitting Rosie.  -  @kalkopyryt

Crack!Fic. Molly decides to try speed dating. The day she goes Sherlock is there, deducing everyone else to shreds. He tells Molly he is there purely by coincidence. He’s not trying to thwart her attempts at dating at all. Really!  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

I’m thinking about Sherlock early in their relationship finds someone clothes that are familiar but can’t remember where, but then he watches some old Moriarty video and realizes where the clothes come from. The end is up to the author. Thank you! -  @deemura

Fluff.  Molly marries Sherlock, believing it is a fake wedding.  Molly is livid when she discovers it was real.   Sherlock has a lame excuse.  Molly really loves Sherlock and wants to be with him, however she is not a pushover.  She demands that they have another ceremony, so that this time she will mean her vows when she says them.  Alternately, Molly wants the marriage annulled.  Sherlock is a little hurt, but doesn’t want to lose her friendship, so he agrees to dissolve the marriage.  When Molly receives confirmation that the annulment is final, that is when Sherlock surprises her by asking her out on a date.  Can she forgive his deception and begin a real romantic relationship with him?   -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Fluff.   Molly is getting ready to get married to Sherlock believing the wedding to be fake, when she discovers that it is actually going to be a real ceremony.  Will she refuse to walk down the aisle at the last minute, or does she go ahead anyway?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Some strange guy is bothering Molly, so she tells him that Sherlock is her fiance in order to make him stop. To her surprise, Sherlock goes along with it. Maybe he goes even further by announcing it to family and friends. Now what does Molly do?  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

I love the unplanned pregnancy troupe.  Any point in their history (you choose) Molly becomes pregnant but thinking Sherlock won’t want to be involved she keeps it from him.  -  @chiefdoctor

Molly undergoes “kidnap and rescue” training similar to Meghan Markle. It comes in handy when she does actually escape a kidnapper. Now she is lost in the wilderness, trying to stay alive using the survival skills she learned. Sherlock is determined to find her.  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

Fluff and maybe Smut. Molly has a hot tub. Sherlock shows up unexpectedly to use it. Of course he is not embarrassed to jump into the hot tub naked. What he doesn’t expect is that Molly is naked, too.  -   @shadowyqueenbeard

[nightingveilxo]

EMP/Unreliable Narrator/Alibi/Editing All Give Sherlock His Audience

First off, you haven’t read meta Sherlock S4 as Epic Theatre, I strongly recommend it.

M: You’ve met him. How many ‘friends’ do you imagine he has? I am the closest thing to a friend that Sherlock Holmes is capable of having. John: And what’s that? M: An enemy. John: An enemy? M: In his mind, certainly. If you were to ask him, he’d probably say his arch-enemy. He does love to be dramatic. John: Well, thank God you’re above all that.

ASiP - Unlike in canon, John begins blogging in order to tell about his life, not to see that Sherlock receives credit for his work. The Detective Inspectors rotate out, rather than being limited to Lestrade and Dimmock. The press receives Wrong! texts that make them an audience. Lestrade and crew are the audience for the drugs bust, and then the moment of realization. His big fan though, is explained as Moriarty. Lestrade’s crew take photos. John thinks Sherlock is amazing, despite “This morning, for example, he asked me who the Prime Minister was.” By T6T, this isn’t amusing anymore, and John tells Sherlock he knows the answer already. Mycroft monitors Sherlock via CCTV, and communicates with John. Film noir and horror references to The Third Man and Nosferatu begin.

TBB - Seb’s staff becomes the audience, and then John, Sarah, and Soo Lin. There’s even an acting troupe. Moriarty is still a big fan.

TGG - Sherlock meets his fan, Moriarty. John and snipers are the audience to their little drama.

ASiB - Sherlock’s audience is with The Queen. It’s actually with his brother, the representative from Buckingham Palace, and Irene, but he finds out Moriarty is still taking an active interest in him. He comes in costume to meet Irene. Lestrade takes video of the outcome, and John takes care of Sherlock.

THoB - Henry, Louise, Dr. Stapleton, and John all become a captive audience. Henry through fear, and being targeted. Louise through John, and then at gunpoint, Stapleton because she has to prove she’s innocent, and John through Sherlock directly. In John’s case though, it backfires, because Sherlock not only says he doesn’t have friends, but John is left to wonder how far Sherlock will go to prove he’s clever. The TARDIS is in a background shot.

TRF - John warns Sherlock they have to be more careful, which will take away Sherlock’s audience. The press is again Sherlock’s audience, but they’re turning against him. Kitty Riley (who later becomes a prototype for Mary-see links below) assists “Richard Brook” with her journalism. Moriarty is the “good old fashioned” villain. John and the snipers are the audience when Sherlock jumps, but Sherlock also has actors, crew, and props that help him. Sherlock no longer has John as his audience, and this is going to result in a lot more film/tv/lit references–things will built-in audiences.

MHR - John receives the box of items from Lestrade, including the DVD that is the Sherlock version of the DW episode “Blink”, where they literally use a script to “communicate”. This mini episode marks where the DW/Torchwood and Rathbone/Bruce overlaps (the LMS train engine) really escalate. Sherlock, although not present, still has John as his audience. Sherlock talking about John’s friends not liking him will come up in TEH, talking about Mary and the wedding guests.

TEH - Restaurants full of people, John, and Mary are Sherlock’s audience, and he even comes in costume. Sherlock’s fan club finds out he’s alive, but a scenario involved Moriarty being put in colored contacts and a face mask to pass as Sherlock, as if his build and height wouldn’t give him away as someone else. Anderson does video of Sherlock’s explanation. The TARDIS is on the wall. Mary is Rathbone/Bruce The Woman in Green and takes over the traits of previous season villains. Sherlock has an audience as he rescues John, his Damsel in Distress, but John is more important. Still, Magnussen has footage in his MP.

TSoT - The Best Man Speech gives Sherlock the wedding guests and Sholto as captive audiences, John calls Sherlock a drama queen, and the villain is the photographer. Stag Night through TFP will mimic the ending of Casablanca.

HLV - Sherlock hasn’t seen John, and has no audience, as he’s in a drug den. We’re introduced properly to Magnussen, the power of MP, and pressure points. There is a camera when Sherlock goes to propose to Janine. Mary kills Sherlock, and his audience is all in his MP, except for Mary and Magnussen. We know from a script segment that Magnussen called the paramedics, and Sherlock’s heart monitor goes backwards. Mary is shown to be a facade through her projection on the buildings. John is furious, but supposedly still decides to be with her, so Sherlock shoots Magnussen for them both. That eliminates Sherlock’s favorite audience, because he is sent away. *Why did Mycroft and crew even film Sherlock shooting Magnussen?

HLV Deleted Scene - Magnussen hides evidence about Mary’s identity and her shooting Sherlock from the police, but offers it to Sherlock. Lestrade wants video, but he and John discover Sherlock has escaped. *Explanation…Eurus.

Alternatively…

TAB - Everyone in the episode is an actor and audience member. It’s set up like a play, and Sherlock says, “The stage is set, the curtain rises, we are ready to begin.” Shotgun wedding mimics TSoT, and romantic entanglement first appears, as well as Watson needing Patience (as opposed to Hope or Faith). John is once more the primary audience, because this is Sherlock’s gay fever dream. Sherlock reads John’s blog from when this was the case, before. Mary is dressed her in Miss Evangelista (DW Silence in the Library ghost/intro to River Song, who later shoots the hero), the brides and Moriarty are all in costume. "Suicide street theatre, murder by corpse – Lestrade you're spoiling us"

Clue: The Movie, where everyone is running around lying about their identities, wearing costumes, there’s a secret messenger, odd phones calls, weapons, a government agent (who might be homosexual, and definitely works for Hoover, who was a “crossdresser” like Uncle Rudy), and a lot of editing/Alternate endings.

 Sherlock Season 4 It’s Not A Game Anymore - That’s Because It’s A Play

T6T - MI6- Same primary audience as HLV, though Lady Smallwood’s name is edited. Aquarium- Same primary audience as in TAB–John, Mary, Mycroft, and Lestrade. Lestrade is fixated on receiving credit, but can’t due to John’s blog. We suddenly have more DIs, which goes with ACD canon. Shark tank mimics Magnussen’s office from HLV, and integrates in another film noir. Mary, the facade is killed by Norbury, which goes back to MHR. Rosie, the Sherlock mirror established by John and Lestrade, is only Sherlock’s audience when Mary isn’t around or conscious. Objects and people disappearing, then reappearing. Technology not working the way it should. These “issues” will continue throughout S4, because someone is remembering/forgetting and/or editing. Sherlock’s reoccurring nightmare is Granada’s Eligible Bachelor & Musgrave Ritual, with his only audience being Ella.

TLD - Sherlock running around quoting the play ‘Henry V’ by Shakespeare. Mycroft doesn’t see all footage when speaking to Lady Smallwood, because it is held back by other people in the room. The blog has gone downhill, and John isn’t receiving credit anymore, so Sherlock is receiving his audience back in a time when John has supposedly written him off (What did the note say? Isn’t that what people do…leave a note?) Faith/Eurus leaves a note of her own. Sherlock has a captive audience in hospital. John is also living Billy Wilder’s (yes, of TPLoSH fame), The Lost Weekend. Most of the ending takes place in someone’s mind, John’s confession isn’t recorded, and Culverton says he doesn’t know what happened–but he owes John (so a mirror owes his life to himself). Mary is still around, handling objects, and it turns out the hat, cane, and umbrella may be recording devices. Voice bleed-throughs abound, and this will happen in TFP, too. Romantic entanglement returns from where it was first discussed in TAB, and the subject of Irene (sex with women), is put to rest. A time gap, and obligatory Epiphany cake, occur after the hug–suggesting Sherlock and John spent the night together. Sherlock has back his most precious audience–John. This continues through TFP.

TFP - Mycroft watching home movies looks like Magnussen watching films in his own MP, and the macabre events staged by Sherlock and John mimic various horror films, as well as Granada’s The Devil’s Foot hallucination. Suddenly, Magnussen is back in the music, and the voice overs continue. The Patience grenade appears, igniting what happened in the greenhouse during TAB. Discussion of Mycroft as Lady Bracknell in production of Wilde’s 'The Importance of Being Earnest’. Further pressure points become an issue, and include integration of Rathbone/Bruce Voice of Terror. COSTUMES!! Eurus is being filmed all the time on CAM, and the numbers are in the same sequence as the cameras used in the train portion of TEH. MRI scans are visible. Moriarty is in pre-recorded footage, and Eurus monitors things the way Mycroft usually does. Mycroft is locked away, and later chastised for what he did regarding Eurus. **John, Daddy Holmes (John’s mirror), and Eurus (Sherlock mirror) are all Sherlock’s primary audience. Sherlock turns his attention to saving John, instead of his own brother. Rosie shows up in 221B at the end, along with Mrs. Hudson, Molly, and Lestrade. Mycroft is still in Sherrinford, maybe as a Mofftiss mirror incapable of seeing John as anything else besides Sherlock’s blogger or friend, despite Sherlock saying John is family.

Other supporting meta and tags are under the cut…

@holmesianscholar @monikakrasnorada @may-shepard @antisocial-otaku @devoursjohnlock @sarahthecoat @mrskolesouniverse @swimmingfeelsinajohnlockianpool @ebaeschnbliah @posh-boy-clever-boy @sherlockshite @gosherlocked @inevitably-johnlocked @simpleanddestructivechemistry @darlingtonsubstitution @jenna221b @sherlockshadow @kateis-cakeis @tjlcisthenewsexy @queerdraco @green-violin-bow @sherlockians-get-bored @princesse-des-lucioles

EMP/Unreliable Narrator/Editing

Justifying Holmes/Watson or Johnlock as a Player in the Drama (Part I)

MHR and Dr. Who “Blink” ( x )   and The MHR Box of Goodies ( x )

Can I Be Of Assistance? BBC Sherlock and The Secret of Sherlock Holmes (The Granada Play)

Sherlock Loving His Touch of the Dramatic

Anyone in Sherlock and How John in TGG Started It Off

Magnussen & Mycroft & Mary (Magnussen’s MP looks like Mycroft’s theatre)

Nothing to Edit or How Lestrade Helps the Editing Process

**A Happy Ending (Mycroft has been an idiot)

Why Was Magnussen Being Shot Filmed?

Sherlock With The Hat From Hell (hat recording)

It Is Possible For the Victim To Do It If They’re Lying (umbrella and cane recording)

A Composite of Villains (Assumes many Mary/Moriarty connections)

Mary is KITTY Riley

Mary is Also Molly (Or how Molly is used)

Why Irene Adler is in TLD & Just Another Source for Mary (Inc info on the morgue scene as memory of Sherlock being beaten.)

Mary is Also Ian from Janus Cars

Kitty is Magnussen while Moriarty is Richard Brook

Ajay as Memories of Torture, Snipers, Bombs, and Moriarty’s NATO Code

Other Related Meta

Mrs. Hudson is Sherlock’s Audience and Transport in T6T & TLD

Sherlock and John Became a Couple in TLD Part I

TFP Not the Real Molly

Lit, Film, and TV References Master Post

MHR and Dr. Who “Blink” ( x )

[loveisfriendship]

The Interesting One

Request: Mabey a Sherlock x reader in which the reader is Irene's sister?

Author’s Note: Okay, so this is again a Sherlock x Reader, and I feel like I don’t do this Character justice. I’m trying my best so please let me know if you like it or how I can do better. And my fics kind of write themselves. I’m just writing them down, it all just flows out and evolves by itself. Enjoy 😉

 It wasn’t hard to get into Baker Street, especially with someone like Mrs Hudson as the housekeeper. You said you were a client and immediately she had you seated upstairs with a cup of Tea and some sweets. You leaned back in the leather chair that you took a seat on and took a sip of the tea. Just then you heard two pair of feet walking up the stairs and Mrs Hudson yelling after them, that there is a client waiting for them. You smile and put the cup of tea down.

Sherlock and John enter the living room and stop in their tracks. They know you, saw you on the pictures in your lovely sisters file. You don’t bother to look up at them or stand up for them. You just take a cookie of the plate on the table and take your cup of tea back in your hands.

“Hel-lo.” John says, making the confusion obvious in his voice. Sherlock just watches you, taking in every detail of you, probably trying to read you like a book, but that’s not going to happen. You are not like your sister, always the one to put on a show and arrived naked. No, but you weren’t wearing your clothes either. Too easy maybe? No, not the way that you did it.

You finally look up to them and smile.

“Good afternoon, Gentlemen.” You answer and see that Sherlock is still focusing on you, whereas John just looks at you confused.

“How can we help you?” he asks, neither of them moving an inch.

“Oh, I’m not here for help. This is just an informational visit for me.” You say taking another sip of your tea.

“An informational visit?” John asks.

“Yes, I’m not going to stay long.” You say focusing on Sherlock now. He raises his eyebrow and finally moves to sit on the chair in front of you, taking his hands in front of his mouth.

“What information do you want, Ms. Adler?” he asks.

“I already got it, Mr. Holmes.” You said with a smug smile on your face.

“I’m sorry, how?” John asks, taking a seat on the chair where usually the clients would sit, you guessed.

“I just needed to see the person that caused my sister and her hard work to crumble down like a card house.” You say taking an intense look at Sherlock. He leans back and studies you intensely, too.

“You know my sister was always like this. So dominant, always wanting more power, never caring about anyone but her. But then she met you and suddenly everything she worked for, was gone in a split second. She got her heart stuck on something that was way too risky, but she didn’t realize it.” You say.

“I agree.” He just answers.

“I don’t quit know, why you though. I don’t understand it, but we were never close. Never had the kind of relationship where you call her up, talking about the guy you met and how cute he is. Not that any of us was interested in the other. I would say, you know what I’m talking about, but your brother and you are too much alike.”

“You know Mycroft?” John asks astonished.

“Briefly, yes.” You say, never taking your eyes off Sherlock.

“So what is this all about then?” John asks.

“Like I said, me getting to know the person, that I owe something for taking my sister out of this life of hers.” You say, making Sherlock raise his eyebrows again.

“You owe me?” he asks.

“Oh yes, I owe you.” you say, standing up, making your way to the door.

“Why?” he asks. You turn around and lean against the door frame.

“As I said, my sister and I were never really close, but it’s bad for my reputation to have a sister on the other side of the law. And especially one with contacts to Moriarty. You solved it, making it easier for me to get what I want.” You say.

“And what would that be?” John says.

“Let’s just say, a particular job in the government.” You smirk.

“You? A job in the government?” John says.

“Mr. Holmes isn’t the only one able to deduct things and able to disguise. Never believe what you see, Mr. Watson.” You say.

“It was nice to meet you, Ms Adler.” Sherlock says. You nod and turn around.

“Probably not the last time, Mr. Holmes. Until then.” You say and leave the Baker Street.

Sherlock moves over to the window and takes a look out of the window, watching you climb into a car, he notices as one of Mycroft’s.

“She is not like her sister.”  John says.

“Not at all. Which makes her even more interesting, don’t you think?” he says, absent minded.

“More interesting?” John asks, surprised, that Sherlock shows interested in a woman.

“Yes.” He says. “The fact, that she just came here, to see me, saying that she owes me, in the same way, Moriarty said it. Everything about her signals, that she knows more about us, her sister and Mycroft than we think. And this makes her interesting, how did she just surface now and what does she want?” he asks and turn around to face John.

“I don’t know.” John answers.

“Exactly. Me neither.” Sherlock says and turns back. He couldn’t read her, he noticed that it weren’t her clothes and that she kind of put on a different face for this. She was interesting and challenging and he was somehow attracted to that.

“And what now?” John asks, still staring at the back of his friend.

“The Game is on, John.”

[bassfanimation]

Sherlock and The Social Dots

I keep seeing people continue to fight over Sherlock and the meaning of Eurus’ tests so I wanted to write a little thing on it.  I’m doing this with a wrist brace on and heinous fibro-turd pain, so forgive any misspellings.  

The way I have personally absorbed Sherlock and the meaning of Eurus’s tests is that it’s about Sherlock as an empty person.  He is an incomplete picture until he begins connecting the dots that are his social connections and even more importantly, his emotions.  Let’s look at his relationships one by one and I’ll explain.

Dot 1: Greg Lestrade

  Lestrade represents respect for authority.  In fact, he is the only real authority figure in the series.  He’s Sherlock’s ‘boss’ in a way.  Bosses need people they employ to be reliable, respectful, and trustworthy.  Sherlock treating his boss/mentor like crap, making fun of his intelligence and skirting around him at every chance he gets is terribly disrespectful.  Sherlock is childish and arrogant and disregards Lestrade in most cases, even refusing to acknowledge his name.  We’ve all had those bosses when we were young that we didn’t respect, so we act like spoiled brats about it even though those people probably have way more experience than we do.  They have earned their position via the rout of hard work and being reliable and respectful.  By the end of the series, however, Sherlock shows us he has resolved the issue of his respect for Lestrade by politely asking him, by name, a first for the entire series, to please take care of his brother.  Sherlock is no longer a bratty child and he has connected the social dot of respect.

Dot 2: John Watson

John represents friendship, pure and simple.  John is literally the “replacement” for Victor, Sherlock’s best friend who was killed when he was very, very little. That left Sherlock as the empty shell that we see at the start of the series.  The loss of his friend at such a young age meant that he essentially shut down the part of him that he felt could even have friends.  He rejected the idea of personal connections with other people entirely, so that he wouldn’t suffer loss again.  John, through all their trials and tragedies, has now healed that wound for Sherlock.  Even more, John as Sherlock’s friend, has helped him connect all the other dots.  He walked with him step by step to do it.  Without John’s companionship, Sherlock would still be empty.  John’s maturity helped Sherlock grow up and be the man he was supposed to be, had he not suffered such a terribly traumatic event in his youth.

One other thing John represents is family, brotherhood to be specific.  Mycroft was very cold to Sherlock in their youth, even though it’s obvious it wasn’t always that way.  In the family videos we are shown, Sherlock absolutely loves his brother.  It isn’t until later, after Victor, that he feels so alone.  It’s obvious Sherlock loved Victor just like a brother, like the brother he really needed but was taken from him.  Sherlock says John is “family” in TFP, and he means it.  It also shows just how much emotion Sherlock has.  His love is that strong. His friend was his brother, a part of his own blood, even if they wren’t born as brothers.

Dot 3: Mrs. Hudson

Mrs Hudson represents a parent’s love.  It’s clear that Sherlock has a very strained relationship with his parents. He doesn’t hate them, but he doesn’t appear to believe that they care for him.  They’re not around when he is still basically a child in a grown man’s body.  He has cut them off in his mind.  Maybe they weren’t there for him in the past so he continues to believe they’re not there for him now.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Hudson dotes on Sherlock, brings him tea and food and generally ‘takes care’ of him.  She’s kind but not a pushover.  She’s also led a life that is about as tumultuous as you can get, which I think appeals to Sherlock.  He always surrounds himself with people who aren’t “regular” people.  Mrs. Hudson holds enough action and adventure in her life that she appeals to Sherlock, and she is also loving and sweet to boot.  Mrs. Hudson is the connected parental dot for Sherlock.

Dot 4: Irene Adler

Irene Adler represents sexuality.  What’s even better is that Irene represents fluid sexuality, and more importantly, the rejection of labels.  Regardless of how everyone has interpreted this, when you get down to the simplicity of it, it is simply about rejection of boxing one’s self in.  Sherlock’s box was his own making, his image as the “higher power” that Irene pointed out.  Irene’s own box was her sexuality.  Both of these people had discovered during the episode that their boxes weren’t taped shut all the way.  There was wiggle room.  Back to the sexuality part, Irene awakened Sherlock sexually.  The entirety of ASIB was loaded with sexuality, from Sherlock being naked and looking extraordinarily dashing, to the very naked Irene appearing to completely disrupt his logical thinking power.  It’s as close to canon as one can get that Sherlock did sleep with Irene after Karachi (judging by Eurus’s reaction to his violin song for her).  Sex and intimacy was something Sherlock had very much refrained from in his life and Irene connected that dot for him.  

Dot 5: Molly Hooper

Molly represents authentic love, or “romantic entanglement” as Sherlock puts it.  Everything about Molly and Sherlock’s interaction falls in line with how everyday romantic relationships blossom.  They began just like kids, with Molly having a crush and Sherlock being a jerk to her, ignoring her, or thwarting her attempts to date other men. As they grow together, they begin to close the gap between them.  Molly earns Sherlock’s complete trust, which was monumentally difficult for her to do considering Sherlock’s fear of connecting with people too closely.  Molly loves Sherlock through his best times and his worst times, unconditionally, even though he doesn’t appear to return her feelings.  From small things we’re shown, however, it feels as if Sherlock does feel something for Molly, but he has compartmentalized it and buried it as deep as he can underground out of fear.  Eurus’s test is what forced Sherlock to dig up that box, that box he’d put his heart in and covered it underneath the earth.  Eurus forces that box open, and connects the dot of romantic love for Sherlock.

Dot 6: Mary Watson

Mary represents, I think, coming to terms with one’s self, and the different shades of the self.  She represents acceptance.  Mary connected with and accepted Sherlock instantly because they were the same.  They both came from dangerous lives, they are both morally gray, and they both have a need to be accepted for who they are, the good and the bad.  Mary was in many ways, a reflection of Sherlock’s own duality.  I think Mary made him question things about himself (no not sexually), and I think she also taught him how much he is worth as a person.  She showed him that even though you are this person you’ve constructed out of your own pain, you don’t have to live just as that person.  You can have anything you desire and still be you.  You can live with shades of yourself, and those around you who truly love you will accept you as that.  They will love you for the good that you are, and forgive you for the bad that you are.  Mary connected the dots of acceptance for Sherlock.

Dot 7: Jim Moriarty

Jim represented fear.  He represented who Sherlock would have been, had he not had some form of love and connection in his life.  He was a madman, a true sociopath.  He showed Sherlock what it really would be like if he was who he said he was. We learn very quickly, however, what Moriarty already knew.  Sherlock can never be like him because he does have a huge capacity for love.  He’s hidden it, denied it, but it is there.  Anywhere Moriarty appeared, it caused great fear in Sherlock.  Even after his death, Moriarty was in Sherlock’s mind, chained up in a padded room like a some kind of caged monster.  As much as Sherlock tried to be like him, he really feared becoming that.  He also feared that Moriarty would be the undoing of his friends and family, forever a threat to their lives.  Moriarty was an endless threat to Sherlock, an endless fear of madness and murder.  Jim connected the dot of fear, true fear, for Sherlock.

Dot 8: Mycroft Holmes

I admit this one’s tough. I feel Mycroft represents weakness.  For all the power Mycroft wields in the government, he’s very fearful of being out in the world.  He keeps people as distant as he can manage and still be a part of  functioning society.  He also did a terrible thing and locked up his little sister and lied to his family about it because he feared confronting it.  All along in the series, we see Mycroft chastise Sherlock for things like having friends, being close to people, tangling with psychopaths, etc.  Mycroft is a very soft, fearful person, which makes his nickname The Ice Man sort of ironic.  Its not that he doesn’t care, he’s just far too soft to care.  We see his softness demonstrated with Sherlock, time and time again.  He cares so much for his little brother and fears so much for him that he constantly keeps watch on him.  Mycroft also tried to help Sherlock by proxy, using John as a means to help Sherlock heal his wounds.  In the end, Sherlock comes to realize his brother isn’t a bad person, and that he loves him deeply.  In fact, he loves his little brother enough to die for him so that he won’t be left like he was as a child, without his best friend.  I think Mycroft regrets being as weak as he is, because he didn’t do more to help his siblings. It just required too much care, and he wasn’t able to fulfill that.  In the end, it is Sherlock who is the stronger of them, and he is stronger because of his connected dots.  The last dot is connect by Mycroft, and that is Sherlock understanding that he is capable of protecting the weak, that he is stronger thanks to his mind, heart, and soul now being complete.

That’s about all.  I only included the major characters here, the ones we see almost every episode.  I’ve already talked a bit about how Eurus forces Sherlock to confront trauma, so she represents that last little bit which Sherlock needs to connect everything together.  She wasn’t a dot, so much as the one who helped him see the entire picture he’d made.  Also, Rosie helps Sherlock in her own way, as Sherlock now has this capacity to care for the smallest of people: children.  Rosie is a teeny, tiny, adorable dot.

I mostly wrote this because I had wanted to for a while, but also because some people are still arguing about the I Love You scene.  They’re missing the forest in favor of the leaves.  The bigger picture is pretty clear on what everyone’s purposes were in the show, and how they affected Sherlock as a man.  To become a great man, he needed to be a complete man.  All these connected dots make him that man.  

[illuminating-dragons]

Dreams And Visions (1/51): A Matter of Family

Series Summary: Some days and nights in the lives of Sherlock and John, and Holmes and Watson after the Dream. They're not always happy, they don't always win, but they will always be together, and maybe that's all they need, in the end.Sequel to 'Sleeping on It'.

Chapter Summary: John’s got some skeletons in the closet, and Sherlock decides to rattle them.

Read it on AO3

Sherlock didn’t want to talk about It.

He and John had been as blissfully happy as an irritating older brother, infuriating Yarders and an overly-indulgent landlady could allow a couple to be. Nearly two months into their new relationship, they had yet to have a ‘couple-fight’ (This was established after John had pointed out that the domestics they had before they were a couple didn’t count as their first fight, no matter what. Sherlock had lost that argument—“which isn’t a fight either, love”—and had been careful ever since.)

Moriarty had been quiet, there were enough cases to keep them busy but not too busy, still plenty of time for candlelit dinners at Angelo’s and afternoons looking over cold cases, and they’d even gone to the cinema together. Sherlock wanted very badly to protest this arrangement, but got caught up in the spy story. (He did not ‘have a spy thing’, not at all. John was simply extrapolating from two film preferences, and anyways, John had chosen the films, hadn’t he?)

And Sherlock was happy, really happy for the first time in his life. Even early days with John, before the Dream (John called it the Night, but that wasn’t very specific, it had nothing to do with ‘magic moonlight’, as Mrs. Hudson said). He had a lover, something he’d never asked for, and found that it was better than everyone always said. Things were so usually backwards to that, and he didn’t want to spoil it.

So Sherlock didn’t want to talk about it.

But he couldn’t forget.

He tried, but he couldn’t delete the look on Holmes’ face when he asked whether John had told him about his family. How Watson hadn’t told Holmes about it until after fifteen years of friendship. How it was that revelation, more than Afghanistan, the horrors they saw as detectives, or even the ‘solution’ to Moriarty, that taught Holmes that Watson ‘hides his pain well’.

Sherlock heard John scream from nightmares every so often from the first night they shared a flat. He saw him turn green at the sight of an arson that killed a family of seven, saw a flicker of fear in his eyes when Moriarty was mentioned. They were normal reactions, subdued perhaps but still appropriate to the situation. Before the Dream he assumed that John Watson was as English as his name, and emotion was simply not done.

Now he knew for a fact that wasn’t true. John was open with his affection, clear with annoyance and laughed as loud as Sherlock did at crime scenes (well, they weren’t supposed to giggle, what else could they do?) It was only pain he hid, and Sherlock wanted to know why. He needed to make plans, specific to important details, so that John would never be hurt again.

Talking about it, on the other hand…

In the end it was John who started the conversation. They were sitting on the couch together, Sherlock paging through his email while John typed up their last case, head on Sherlock’s shoulder. Mrs. Hudson had gone shopping, as there were no more biscuits for tea and that was a Bit Not Good.

The sun was coming in at an awkward angle and John grumbled as he tilted his laptop screen back and forth, always coming back to the same position. Sherlock grinned.

“Mycroft does that too.”

John looked up at him. “What?”

“Well, he normally does it with books. He insisted on reading outside so Mummy wouldn’t fuss at him for exercise—he needed it even then—and the sun was his constant enemy. He kept trying to make the light fall differently, but he would always end up holding the book the same way without even realizing.” He sighed. “Should have known then he was going to be a controlling, stubborn…”

“Alright Sherlock,” John said, but he was smiling as he stopped moving his screen.

Sherlock hesitated only a second. If this wasn’t the right time, when would it be? “Did Harry do anything like that?”

John stopped typing. “Like what?”

“You know, those mundane little habits that people pick up in childhood and never get rid of?” Sherlock ached to watch his lover’s face, but he knew that wasn’t a good idea.

John leaned away from him, just enough to make it seem natural. “I don’t think so, not really. She’s quite a bit older than me, you know.”

Sherlock looked at him. “Mycroft and I are seven years apart, while you and Harry are barely five. You would have been around her more often than I with Mycroft. Why don’t you remember?” Sherlock felt his gut tighten. John had an excellent memory.

“I don’t know,” John said. “You tell me.”

It was a joke between them, a come-on for Sherlock to use his “bloody brilliant” powers and coax the information out of his silent but smiling lover. It was fun, although apparently it ranged from ‘adorable’ to ‘vomit-inducing’ in public.

John wasn’t smiling right now. He had pulled away from Sherlock completely .

“You were never close,” Sherlock said.

“Well, no, obviously not—I already told you that bit.” John was tense.

“But were you ever close to anyone?” Sherlock mused. “I don’t think you were, though I can’t imagine why.”  How could anyone not love you, John?

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

John stood up quickly, backing away from the couch. “Yes, I know, family’s meant to care about each other. I think you’d better drop it, Sherlock.”

“Why?” Sherlock challenged. “I want to know.”

“What do you want to know?” John snapped. “That I have no living family?”

“Yes you do,” Sherlock replied, baffled.

“No, Sherlock. No, I don’t, and I haven’t for most of my life.”

“They abused you,” Sherlock guessed.  

That was very clearly the wrong thing to say.

John stepped back, closed his eyes. His left hand was trembling.  He turned around and walked up the stairs to his old room. A few seconds later, Sherlock heard the door slam.

Not Good.

Sherlock was so wrapped in his own misery that he didn’t hear John come downstairs in the darkness, long after tea had been forgotten.  Didn’t notice him at all, in fact, until he was standing in the doorway of their room.

“Sherlock?” John sounded tired and…sore, the way he sounded after a long day of work and chasing criminals. Sherlock’s heart ached in response.

“Sherlock, I’m…I’m sorry dear.”

Sherlock, who’d been on the point of reciting his thousand apologies, looked up in amazement.

John stood in front of him, hands in his pockets. His eyes looked funny, though they weren’t red. He’d probably not been blinking enough, Sherlock deduced—John did that when he was upset, it was one of his tells.

Sherlock laid his hands by his sides. “I don’t follow. You have no reason to apologize to me, I intruded on a painful subject and made deductions after you told me to stop. You’ve been attempting to teach me common courtesy when dealing with strangers, and here I can’t maintain the proper behaviour with my own lover. The blame is entirely on my side, and I don’t fault you for losing your temper.”

John shook his head. “I wasn’t mad at you. I mean, yes I was, because you did push it, but…I didn’t want to talk about it, and that wasn’t really fair.”

“It clearly caused you discomfort,” Sherlock frowned. “Why is that unfair?”

“Maybe because you’re my lover, and my flatmate, and my friend, and you deserve to know why I don’t want to talk about my family?” John retorted.  

“I could deduce that for myself,” Sherlock said.

“You shouldn’t have to,” John said quietly. “Don’t you get it? There’s supposed to be talking and…baring of feelings, in relationships. You’ve told me about your family, and your nemeses, some of whom you think are your family" (Sherlock rolled his eyes)…"hell, you shared your whole world with me.”

“Not all of it,” Sherlock admitted, feeling a little uncomfortable. Since when was he the open one of the two of them? “Just the parts that I think will interest you.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t even ask if you were interested in my life before you, I just didn’t say anything and let your deductions be enough. That wasn’t fair to you.”

Sherlock thought this over. “I am interested,” he said carefully, “but not because I particularly relish the details. I am interested because your past is part of you, and I am beginning to realize it shaped you in ways I did not consider.”

John rubbed a hand over his face. “I wish it hadn’t. I tried not to let it.”

Sherlock hesitated, then patted the bed next to him. John came over slowly, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. Sherlock held out his hand and John took it.

John took a deep breath. “I don’t think I’m ready…to go into all of it.”

Sherlock waited.

“But you deserve to hear the broad strokes, at least.” John’s grip tightened on his hand.

“My parents didn’t want me. They as good as told me right from the beginning, and I was expected to deal with that. I was never starving or anything like that, but when I wasn’t perfect…well, Father always made his displeasure clear.”

Sherlock thought back to the marks he’d seen on John’s back, his shoulders. He’d known they were too old to be from war, too deliberate to be from rugby accidents…but he hadn’t asked.

“Mother wasn’t unkind to me, but she died when I was eight and then it was just Harry and I with Dad. It was bad for quite a while—when she came out, when she started to drink as much as Dad, when she refused to go to school anymore—well. I had to be the perfect child. There was no reward in it, no congratulations: I wasn’t supposed to be alive so I had to make up for the mistakes of the daughter he adored. Still adores, despite everything.”

Sherlock realized he was gripping John’s hand too tightly. He tried to loosen his grip, but John hung on more tightly.

“I  got good grades, and I was smart, and I got into uni a year early. I saved what I could and I had some money from my granddad. He was good to me; gave me my first Gray’s Anatomy, actually. He was a soldier when he was young.”

That detail, a throwaway sentence to anyone else, explained everything.

“So I got into pre-med and became a surgeon, then I went to war. Why not? I wanted to do some good in the world, and it wasn’t like anyone would miss me. I did three years in Afghanistan, got shot, and flew into an airport with no one there to greet me.” John smiled, but it was shaky. “Then I met a madman and fell in love.”

There was a long pause; Sherlock could tell John wasn’t quite done.

“I tried to love them,” John whispered. “More than anything. But I just couldn’t.”

Sherlock pulled John into his arms, letting him bury his face in the crook of his neck. “They didn’t love you,” he whispered.

“Why should that matter? They were my family.”

Sherlock just held him for a few long minutes, running his hand up and down John’s back, trying to avoid the scars. He pressed a kiss to John’s bad shoulder, then to his temple then tilted John’s face so he could kiss his forehead. John stared back at him, eyes soft with pain.

“There was nothing you could have done.” John tried to protest but Sherlock held firm. “John, they hurt you. They made you think you were nothing. You were very lonely, weren’t you?”

John didn’t reply, trembling in his arms.

“And you grew up into a kind, brave, wise man anyways,” Sherlock continued in a low voice. “And you fell into company with others like you, but you couldn’t see that, because no one ever told you that you were wonderful. And why would they tell you that? They must’ve thought you knew.”

John buried his face in Sherlock’s shoulder. “Sherlock, I’m not—”

“You were wrong about one other thing too,” Sherlock whispered.

“What?”

“You’ve got a living family. You’ve got Mrs. Hudson, Greg…even Molly and Mycroft.”

John wasn’t trembling so badly anymore, but he still wasn’t looking at Sherlock.

“And you have me, too.” Sherlock made John look at him. “I’ll be your family as long as you want me. You love better and stronger than anyone I’ve ever met, and if you can’t find it in your heart to love those you were born to, the fault’s on them, not you.”

John kissed him instead of replying, but Sherlock knew what he meant.

“If you do want to talk about this another time, we can.”

John wiped his eyes. “I think that might have done it. I didn’t know I was worrying about all of that.” He smiled. “You did, though. Thank you, dear.”

“It’s my business to know, especially about you,” Sherlock replied.

John kissed him again, longer this time. “Thank you for being family. For sharing yours. For everything.”

“You’re not alone anymore John,” Sherlock said seriously.  “And you never will be again.”

He knew he’d have to say it again, maybe a thousand times before John would believe it, but he’d say it every day for the rest of their lives if he had to.

That’s what you did for family, after all.

[the-angelsong]

Mind Palace Dreams

Sherlock lay on the uncomfortable sofa in John's sitting room. John had long since gone to bed, after what they had gone through Sherlock wasn't surprised. He should be exhausted.... his body definitely needed a rest, but his mind.... oh... that just wouldn't shut off.

It was all too much, everything. Euros's vivisection, everything he was, his tightly wound facade of pure logic, undone in an afternoon. Today he learned truths long buried, today he woke up, and life was forever changed.

God, he wanted a hit right now. To escape the rapid fire of his mind. To disappear in oblivion. But he couldn't disappoint them again, not ever. 

"Emotional context Sherlock, it destroys you every time." 

The echoes of his sister's words haunted him. How many lives had he destroyed? He closed his eyes and slipped into the comfort of his mind palace.

"Go to hell Sherlock." Said Mary walking towards him. He looked around.... Baker Street, as it was, before the grenade destroyed his home.

"Mary, I -"

"You absolute idiot." She said shaking her head at him. "John nearly died today, and Mycroft, and you... what are you doing? Moping."

His face contorted in confusion. “Sorry, what?"

She smiled at him pity in her eyes. "You really don't see it, do you?"

Sherlock jutted out his jaw in defiance. "I really don't like riddles Mrs Watson, what is your point."

She reached out and took his hand. "Oh Sherlock." She said giving his had a squeeze. "They love you, we all do... and you love us."

He dropped her hand like it burned and turned away.

"Admit it." She said still smiling.

"I don't understand." He replied.

"Yes, you do."  She said reaching out to grab his hand again. "You love us all, me, John, Mrs Hudson, Greg Lestrade. Even Anderson." She added with a laugh.

He whipped around to face her. "Anderson?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

She shrugged. "He grew on you." She replied nonplussed.

Sherlock sighed. "While I admit to missing your company Mary, I am incapable of the emotions you are expressing."

Mary nodded her tongue pressed against her top lip. "Yeah... right.... you do realize that your lying to yourself, right? That none of this," she gestured around the room. "Is real?"

"Of course," He replied.

"Poor little Sherlock, trying to pick up the pieces of his shattered little world." Moriarty said from the corner of the room.

"Shut up!" Shot Sherlock.

"Naw don't worry sherlly boy." Said Moriarty walking over to place his hands on Mary's shoulders. "Mary's with me now, just like all your little friends are going to be."

"SHUT UP!" Said Sherlock bringing the gun in his hand up to rest on the other man’s forehead.

Moriarty giggled. "Ooh." He said, holding his hands up. "What are you going to do? Shoot me?" He grabbed the gun out of Sherlock's hands and pointed it at him. "It doesn't matter, stupid man, I'm in your head. Really you’re just pointing this at yourself."

Sherlock pinched his eyes closed and let out a scream, his world seemed to spin around him.

"I'm sorry brother." Said Mycroft.

Sherlock opened his eyes, he was in Mycroft's lavish sitting room. "Why what did you do?"

"All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage Sherlock." Said Mycroft robotically.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "I am aware brother mine."

A tear spilled from the older Holmes brother's eye. "What I did to you was wrong, I know that now, I am sorry brother."

Sherlock's eyes widened. "No, Mycroft! I don't want to hear this." He covered his ears and put his chin to his chest.

Mycroft took two large steps towards his brother and reached out to cup his face. "Everything I did was to save you. Save you from the hurt, from the pain."

Sherlock considered his brother's eyes, his own eyes brimming with thirty years of un-shed tears. "Please, I can't." His voice cracked with emotion.

Mycroft drew him into an embrace. "You cried for weeks, when Victor went missing. I just wanted to help you, you weren't healing brother. So, I told you a story, a story of another little boy, who didn't feel pain. Who knew that caring was a disease. You became that boy Sherlock, and it is my fault."

Sherlock shook himself out of his brother's arms. "But you were right!" He shouted. "Caring doesn't help, all it does is ruin things."

Mycroft smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "All those crime scenes, all those pointless deaths. Did not caring stop any of those?" He asked.

"No, but it didn't hurt me." Shot Sherlock. The tears were streaming down his face now.

"Look at him." Said Mycroft softly, holding his arm out to the darkened corner where Moriarty sat chained to the wall in a strait jacket. "Did not caring help him in the end?" He pointed to the other corner. "Or her?"

Encased in a small glass box was seven year old Euros. Her cold blank stare sending shivers through the brothers.

Sherlock closed his eyes and sighed, bringing his hands up to cover his face.

"Don't let anybody tell you that caring doesn't hurt." Said John as he cradled baby Rosie.

Sherlock opened his eyes, he was back at Baker Street. "John." The name came out like a hitched cry.

"Yes, alright. It hurts, and I know your hurting right now. But it's not always like this, the pain will never leave you. But the rest?" John looked down at the sleeping infant. "Love will blow your mind more than anything you poke into your arm." He looked up capturing Sherlock's eyes with his own. "You know that." He laughed. "You know, I genuinely thought it was The Woman... all this time and it never crossed my mind."

Sherlock smiled weakly. "Of course, it didn't, you’re an idiot."

"How long have you been in love with Molly Hooper?" Asked John.

"Consciously? I don't know, a day maybe." He replied.

"Right.... and unconsciously?" Pressed John.

Sherlock turned to stare at the woman he loved. She had that ridiculously bright jumper on, which jarringly clashed with the cherry covered blouse peeking out the top. "I don't know, how do I tell?"

John laughed. "I'm sure you will spend the rest of your life trying to figure that out mate."

 Sherlock turned away. "But I hurt her, for years I hurt her."

"How did you hurt me? I'm a big girl Sherlock, I take care of myself." Said Molly.

"I used you, I abused our connection." He confessed.

"After all this time, do you really think I would have let you use me, hurt me for nothing?" She asked her face twisting in surprise. "How did you abuse our connection? By asking favors? By asking for help?" She smiled shaking her head. "That's what people do for the ones they love.”

"Told you, you’re an idiot." Said Mary and she stood next to John beaming at her child.

"Sherlock, today you told me your darkest secret, and I told you mine." Molly grasped his shoulders and started to shake him. "Now wake up and do something about it! Wake up Sherlock, wake up!"

"Wake up!"

He opened his eyes to see her face inches from his own, sunlight glistening across her cheek. "Molly?"

"Are you high Sherlock? What the hell was that phone call about? You bastard."

He blinked trying to clear the sleep from his eyes as she pushed back from the sofa to glare down at him.

"Good morning Molly, sorry I must have dozed off, what are you doing here?" He asked sitting up.

"What am I- Sherlock I was worried about you! A bomb goes off in your flat and then you and John just disappear for a whole day! I have no idea where Rosie is and then that phone call happens! And then you're just gone!" She shouts.

"Actually, it was a grenade." He replied scratching the morning shadow of his beard.

"You are high." She said looking at him in disgust. "Unbelievable, you know what Sherlock? I’m done! You have no regard for anyone but yourself." She turned to walk away but before she had taken a step he grabbed her arm. Molly turned to look back at him and he stood up.

"I am not high Molly, and I wasn't yesterday." She scoffed. "I am not high, and I meant what I said." He said softly.

She shook her head in disbelief and looked up at him eyes shining with tears.

"I am sorry Molly, truly I am, for any pain I have ever caused you. But I am not sorry for telling you my secret."

Her voice cracked as she spoke. "Sherlock."

He reached down and brushed a tear away with his thumb, the rest of his hand coming to rest on her cheek. "If you'll let me- if you'll have me, I would like to spend the rest of my days trying to make it up to you."

She let out a half laugh half sob. "You're an ass Sherlock Holmes." She said a smile washing over her face.

"I know." He replied and leaned down to kiss her.

[magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics]

Old Friend - Request

Requested by @fourtyninekirbygamzeegirl: Hi, I'd like to request one where the reader is an ex-American agent and she has been around Sherlock and John for quite some time. She started working for MI-6 after a while and comes back injured (wherever you decide) and Sherlock ends up examining it intimately before they go into smutty goodness or something. 

Pairing: Sherlock x reader.

Word count: 2,479

Warnings: This is more fluff than smut but yeah SMUT - unprotected -

A/N: I’m tired and sleepy and feeling fluffy so I couldn’t help it but to reflect on this.

Enjoy!

She couldn’t remember the last time she saw the Baker Street boys, or the last time she shared a cup with them, less to say the last hand shake. She wasn’t sure they would remember as fondly as she remembered them; after all, she had been dragged out of London from a day to the other, and didn’t even give her time to say good-bye. But that was what the MI-6 did. They got you into suicide missions, away from your friends and family, away from the world and the life you knew.

How would they react when she knocked? Would they be pleased or angry? How would they have changed in the time she was gone? Maybe John had finally settled down, or maybe Sherlock and Irene were back together – if they ever really dated -, maybe Mrs. Hudson found a new husband, maybe Mycroft had finally decided to wear a wig, or maybe Lestrade had stopped calling Sherlock… Whatever had happened would remain a mystery for her unless she knocked the door.

It had been a long time, but even so, she missed them with all her heart. When they moved her to London from America, she thought she would never feel as home-sick as she did in that time, but now she knew she was wrong. She missed those all-nighters with the boys, trying to solve a mystery, watching crappy telly or playing heads up. She missed those morning talks with Mrs. Hudson, and playing cards with Watson. But most of all, she missed when Sherlock played for her.

She remembered him, waltzing around the flat, playing the most beautiful melody with his head tilted to the side and his eyes closed. She remembered him flowing with the sound like a feather flows with the wind. She remembered how her stomach tickled whenever he opened those mesmerizing blue eyes to see her, his voice making odd questions out of nowhere. The way he would roll his eyes at the clients with boring stories or his intensity when he couldn’t find an answer. (Y/N) missed his smell, and that laughter… He barely laughed, but when he did it was so full of joy she couldn’t help but to laugh as well. She missed those little, almost accidental touches, and his face whenever he caught her staring. She missed Sherlock Holmes.

And there she was. Her back curved, both hands pressing her left ribs, trying to keep the blood from spilling. How would she explain? “Oh, hi boys, remember I disappeared? The MI-6 took me, fun times, then someone shot me in the plane back and now I’m here and I need some stitches.” No, that was ridiculous.

The door opened violently. “Would you come in already? I don’t have ti…” Sherlock stopped talking. His mouth fell into an O as he saw the woman he had once admired right in front of him. He thought it was a client, she never stood up like that, but of course she would always surprise him. “(Y/N).” He whispered.

“Hi, Sher.” She muttered shyly. His expression, the shock in it was absurd. His eyes stared at her for longer than she wanted, but she couldn’t blame him; as far as her concern, it would’ve been less awkward to take her for dead.

“Mycroft told us the MI-6 hired you… We never thought you would come back.” He mumbled.

“Well, here I am.” She said. Sherlock then noticed how her hands were covered in blood and, without further hesitation, he carried her upstairs.

The flat was just as she remembered: messy and dusty. Sherlock sat her at his seat and ran to the kitchen to get her a cloth to clean her wound.

“Where’s John?” (Y/N) asked, unbuttoning her shirt to get a better view of the gunshot.

“Married, lovely girl, you will like her.” Sherlock spoke quickly as he got the things ready.

(Y/N) nodded sadly. She would’ve wanted to be there at such an important day for John. Sherlock noticed, and he gave her a stern glare right before kneeling in front of her to check her.

“Superficial, it didn’t touch anything important…” He started mumbling.

“Will I survive?” She joked. Sherlock smirked lightly.

“Your humour hasn’t changed at all.” He observed whilst he pressed the cloth over her wound, trying to clean as much of the blood as possible.

“It’s hard to change when there’s nobody to talk to.” She said right before complaining because Sherlock was too tough on her.

“Why did you come here instead of a hospital?” He inquired, ignoring her complaints.

“I thought John could help me…” She confessed.

“Hmm.” He nodded and moved the cloth away. Then, he took a huge ball of cotton dipped in medical alcohol and pressed it against the open wound.

“SHERLOCK!” She squealed. He moved the cotton away instantly and stared at her in fear.

“My apologies, I have no medical instruction.” He said truthfully.

“No shit, Sherlock.” She hissed and extended her hand to take the cotton. Sherlock handed it to her and observed as she cleaned her own wound.

“Who…?”

“Terrorist on the same plane as me… He shot me when I was going out.” She explained nonchalantly.

“Please tell me you took him down.” She looked back at him with a mischievous grin.

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” And with that, Sherlock smirked proudly. “I missed you.”

“John made the loudest drama he’s ever done when we found out about MI-6…” Sherlock said, ignoring her words. Of course, he would never admit his own feeling out loud, even if they were as innocent as missing a friend.

“What did you do?” She inquired. Sherlock took a deep breath, hesitating to answer.

“I punched Mycroft in the face.” He confessed shyly.

“Was there any blood?” He chuckled.

“Loads.” He said.

“That’s my man.” Sherlock’s eyes widened.

“Your… man?” (Y/N) blushed.

“I mean… it’s uh… it’s an expression.” She stuttered, “I… are you… dating someone?”

“I’m Sherlock Holmes, remember?” He replied, “I don’t date.”

“Right… The blood loss is playing with my mind, sorry.” She tried to get up but Sherlock pushed her back on the seat.

“Stay, please.” He begged. (Y/N) nodded; his sudden exposure took her by surprise, but Sherlock asking her to stay was something she wouldn’t have expected and so she couldn’t say no.

He carried her to his room, putting her in bed before turning to take something out of his closet; a grey shirt, his pyjama grey shirt, which he handed to her so she wore it rather than her dirty, bloody clothes.

“I’ll stain this, Sher.” He snapped his fingers, left the room and then came back with a bandage. He wrapped it around (Y/N)’s torso and then she had no other excuse not to wear his shirt. Meanwhile, Sherlock changed into whatever was left of his pyjamas. “Will you stay with me?” She asked.

Sherlock stood quiet for a few minutes, frozen in place, before he answered. “Do you want me to stay?”

“Only if it’s not a bother.” She replied shyly.

“Considering it’s my bed you’re sleeping in…”

“I can sleep on the couch if you want.” She interrupted. Sherlock tilted his head in confusion.

“You were shot.” He stated, “You’re sleeping here, end of the conversation.”

“But…”

“Shut up.” He ordered and she lifted an eyebrow. Sherlock noticed his mistake and tried to fix it. “Please.”

She didn’t reply with words but rather sighing loudly. It had been too much time since the last time they were in the same room. He had changed, evolved, and she was just the same. It was almost like she was the one creature that didn’t get her bit of evolution and was meant to disappear.

“I’m sorry.” Sherlock whispered.

“Sherlock Holmes apologizing.” She joked with a whisper, “That’s new.”

“You were away for quite a while.” He sat in bed, next to her. With their backs turned to the other.

“What else has changed?” Sherlock leaned back so his back was against hers.

“Watson and Mary are having a girl, I had a girlfriend, my blog is popular…” He started.

“You had a girlfriend?” He chuckled.

“I said a lot of things, and the one thing you heard was that.” He mumbled, “Yes, I had a girlfriend but only because I needed to sneak into her boss’ office.”

“Neat.”

“You would’ve done the same.” She looked down.

“Not to you.” She whispered. Sherlock rolled over his side to rest his head over her shoulder.

“Did you solve many crimes while you were away?” He inquired softly.

“Oh yes” she replied sarcastically. Sherlock chuckled lovingly.

“You’ll adapt soon.” He said, “Just like you did when they transferred you from America.”

They chatted for a bit more. Sherlock got her updated about everyone’s lives and (Y/N) told him about her actual work at the MI-6. Eventually they ended up cuddled against the other, under the bed sheets, face to face.

“Did you miss me?” She asked.

“That’s what Moriarty says.” She rolled her eyes.

“Just answer me.” She begged.

“I did.” His face was dead serious, not a single sing of lie or vacillation could be seen. He was being absolutely honest with her.

“How much?” A shy smile grew on his lips.

“Are you expecting a clichéd answer?” He asked.

“Not when it comes to you.” He shifted so he was closer to her.

“I missed you, isn’t that enough?” She nodded.

The proximity, the peace she felt in his embrace, the intimacy they were sharing… It was all getting her drunk. She felt dizzy but excited, craving for something more. Would she be brave enough to take it? She had just appeared back in his life, it wouldn’t be fair. But then again, Sherlock was the one getting closer and closer each time and he had changed so much…

“What are you thinking?” He spoke, dragging her back to reality.

“I’m just impressed at how much you’ve changed.” She said.

“I’m the same old Sherlock.” He muttered, “Just a little more…”

“Open.” She finished. Sherlock nodded.

“Are you still the same (Y/N)?”

“Yes.” Sherlock licked his lips, unable to take the first step without her full approval. “What are you thinking?”

“An experiment.” He replied absentmindedly.

“Yup, you’re the same.” She giggled.

“It’s a different kind of experiment.” He said.

“Show me.”

He took a deep breath before leaning over to press his lips to her. They were barely touching, but it was more than enough to make their hearts skip a beat. They both had their eyes shut, and Sherlock’s hands searched for her hips while hers tangled around his dark locks.

She guided him. Slowly, careful not to scare him away; and for the first time ever, Sherlock Holmes obeyed orders from someone else but him. True, they weren’t verbal orders, but that would’ve been too much to ask from him.

He pulled her over him, not wanting to be on top because of her wound. She lowered her hands to his bare chest without splitting her lips from his. Sherlock was calm, but his heart was beating at the same speed of a professional runner in the middle of a marathon.

He moved his hands slowly to her thighs. She allowed him, she craved it. Meanwhile, she pulled slightly away to make sure he was confident of their actions and what they would lead to.

“It’s fine.” He whispered over her lips. She nodded and kissed him again.

Sherlock’s hands travelled back up, under the grey shirt, caressing every inch of her skin, careful not to move the bandage out of place. She moved slightly over him, which made him react. She could feel him growing hard under her.

She moved again, this time to lower his trousers to his knees. Sherlock looked away, trying not to look vulnerable or scared. She cupped his cheek and made him look at her.

“It’s fine.” She repeated. Sherlock pulled her close to him once more.

Maybe he was still too innocent, but he wanted to kiss her over and over again. He was sure he could kiss her for a whole day if she allowed him to.

She took her panties off and aligned herself to him before sliding down. Sherlock moaned lowly and (Y/N) squirmed over him at the feeling of him filling her completely, stretching her walls in every right way.

She moved slowly; one, because she was still hurt, and two, because she didn’t want to overwhelm Sherlock in the wrong way.

He grabbed her hips and started guiding her carefully. They were still keeping the slow pace; after all, it wasn’t a casual-sex session. Sherlock wanted to feel her, to show her how much he needed her throughout that time she was away.

She circled her hips, causing a whole new sensation for both of them. Sherlock let his head fall back on the pillow and (Y/N) arched her back. He observed her; how her hair framed her delicate face, and the way her eyelashes fluttered. The tremble on her lower lip and the little flinches her thighs would do whenever he hit her sweet spot. He felt like he was admiring the finest piece of art.

“(Y/N).” He moaned as his big hands caressed her hips. She looked down at him, and what Sherlock saw behind her (Y/E/C) eyes can’t be explained as anything other than love, pure, raw, love.

“Sherlock.” She moaned back. Still moving, still whimpering, flinching, clenching… Sherlock was aroused with her beauty; she had turned into an ethereal being with nothing other than the most natural act humans could make.

A louder whimper was followed by her walls clenching tighter than before. She shut her eyes once more, biting her lip, and started breathing heavily. Sherlock’s body reacted along with her as they reached their desires climax.

He flinched inside of her. A loud moan left his plump lips as he succumbed to a pleasure so strong it got him dizzy, unable to think straight. All he could think of was her. (Y/N) over him, sharing the same kind of pleasure with him – because of him.

She fell over him, her breath was a mess, and she couldn’t formulate a simple sentence for a while. Sherlock held her patiently, recovering himself from the same pleasure wave that dragged their minds away.

“If…” She whispered.

“If?”

“If I had known this would…” She took a trembling breath, “that this would happen I would’ve come back earlier.”

Sherlock giggled shyly. “If I had known…” He didn’t need to say it, she knew what he meant.

(Y/N) leaned to the front, kissing him once more except she was more confident then. Sherlock held her tightly against his chest, kissing her over and over until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

*Requests are ALWAYS open.*

Masterlist.

Sherlock Tags: @resurrection-huntress @oaisara @charlottemalfoy @zena-dukmak @just-a-blog00 @wefracturedmotivation