#Weeee another one of these let's go!!

[federthenotsogreat]

I might've had another idea-

[verstarppen]

haiii plz ignore this if your requests are closed 🙇🏻‍♀️ but I'm begging you to give us george who's totally in love with someone from the camera crew and the drivers start making fun of him for it but it's all fluff ♥️

summary; mercedes have a strict policy regarding office romance, but that can't stop Totally Spies because they can't read

pairing; george russell x fem! camera operator! reader [ no faceclaim ]

a/n; im so sorry if this isn't as funny as usual im rusted and dusted from exam season anyway HERE WE GOOO HERE WE GOOO ON A MISSION UNDERCOVER AND WE'RE IN CONTROL HERE WE GOO HERE WE GOOO WE'RE TOTALLY SPIES SO WE'LL GET ON WITH THE SHOW

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lilymhe and 625,801 others

alex_albon He's going to look back at this post and curse my entire bloodline isn't he

view all 100,384 comments

georgerussell63 Alright then, what's all this about

alex_albon It'll all be revealed in time... georgerussell63 Your old wizard impression is serving

scuderiayummy the f1 gc must be booming rn bc what does this even mean, alexander.

charlielecunt If I see "breaking news: george russell found dead in a ditch" in 30 mins I'm gonna lose it

pierreleftsock "time to take george to football, live up the bugatti weeee"

liked by alex_albon, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 755,105 others

georgerussell63 I won in the name of the people

view all 200,005 comments

miss.sainz55 this is better than 95% of the enemies to lovers books i've read

typicallyleclerc what happened to the original plot of the movie

applenorizz bitches be like "can't stand her fake ass" 10 minutes later "me and the bestie"

landonorris i feel the urge to bash your head in a wall

georgerussell63 Digital footprint

liked by 36rg, britney_alex_clover and 15 others

ynusername on a mission undercover and we're in control

view all 5 comments

36rg Alexa, play "They Don't Know About Us" by One Direction

ynusername THEY DON'T KNOW HOW SPECIAL YOU AREEEE

britney_alex_clover Now all you have to do is avoid being spotted together by the public eye, your boss, all of your friends, your family and also the entire human population

britney_alex_clover also please stop flirting on promo vid sets that shit is cringe as fuck britney_alex_clover I find it adorable britney_alex_clover no one cares what u think charles britney_alex_clover Wow. britney_alex_clover Guys britney_alex_clover Sorry britney_alex_clover Hello 👋 britney_alex_clover alright who let maximilian in 36rg Who let any of you menaces in britney_alex_clover careful loverboy, i've got HR on the phone 36rg And I know what you did with the trophy after Vegas britney_alex_clover OKAYYYY LET'S ALL JUST CALM DOWN britney_alex_clover what the fuck 36rg Eyes and ears everywhere, Norris britney_alex_clover Wait, is that why I still can't get it to light up? Did you break another one??? britney_alex_clover can someone ban max off this account thank you

britney_alex_clover and while you're at it can you tell the trophy company to start making trophies that look less edible

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

blog taglist: @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr @marshmummy @ravisinghs-wife  (happy race week everyoneee im so glad to be back)

[hotchaways]

pov: your instagram but you’re dating aaron hotchner (part 2)

Liked by jenniferjareau, spencer.reid and 90 others

its(Y/L/N): the love of my life and aaron :) #wheninlondon 🇬🇧

view all 28 comments

itspennyg: WEEEE LONDON!!! have the best time my lovely furry friends 💘

↳ its(Y/L/N): aaron did not enjoy the furry friends BUT we’ll get you loads of penelope coded things :) miss you!!

e.prentiss: oh coffee is the love of everyone’s life ❤️

↳ jenniferjareau: mine would be cheetos

↳ its(Y/L/N): we know that. your breath smells like cheetos

spencer.reid: i believe (Y/N)’s love language is to bully hotch

↳ jenniferjareau: it’s so weird to think about because he’s our unit chief…..

↳ aaron_hotchner: the bullying never stops in the hotchner household

↳ its(Y/L/N): don’t forget the loaf of bread and baguette retaliation :)

↳ aaron_hotchner: jesus christ please stop with the breads

↳ e.prentiss: no (Y/N) keep going with the breads

Liked by daverossi, e.prentiss and 95 others

its(Y/L/N): “no, coco is mine.” and do you think coco enjoys being in your arms 🤨 #dognapper

view all 21 comments

spencer.reid: what is even so endearing about that rat?

↳ its(Y/L/N): no clue why i started dating him honestly

↳ e.prentiss: it should’ve been our ship that sailed 🙄

↳ derekmorgan: hotch gotta watch out for emily, she’s about to steal his girl

↳ aaron_hotchner: she’s right, she’s out of my league. i don’t know why she did either

↳ its(Y/L/N): AARON, BABY :( i love you, you’re the one out of my league

↳ aaron_hotchner: also, emily– why not make the ship sail with cheeto breath?

↳ itspennyg: LET THE JEMILY SHIP SAIL 🚢🤍

↳ jenniferjareau: man when will i ever stop being called cheeto breath I HAVE A NAME

Liked by daverossi, spencer.reid and 88 others

its(Y/L/N): cause of my death: my boyfriend in a polo shirt playing golf 😩

view all 17 comments

derekmorgan: any news about the women fawning over him?

↳ e.prentiss: we haven’t received texts in the group chat so im assuming all is well (for now)

↳ aaron_hotchner: she followed me like a lost puppy and publicly displayed her affection to make sure they knew.

↳ jenniferjareau: well! looks like you’re not gonna be attacked by bread this time

↳ its(Y/L/N): no he’s gonna be attacked by bread when we get home

↳ daverossi: i just have to say– why do you have to attack him with bread?

↳ itspennyg: so she doesn’t waste money buying a weapon and if she attacks with bread, she can eat it afterwards, mr. holy pasta man 🍝🧔🏻‍♂️

↳ aaron_hotchner: (Y/N) just said it’s because she can and she will…not because she found out about the soccer moms fawning over me from the clubhouse this time

↳ e.prentiss: the bread retaliation will literally never stop

Liked by jenniferjareau, itspennyg and 91 others

its(Y/L/N): my handsome boyfriend being all grumpy and it’s tempting to smooch him all over 🥺

view all 18 comments

e.prentiss: you both are my close friends but you have to tone the mushiness down at work

↳ itspennyg: NO LET THE LOVEBIRDS BE. PENNY LOVES LOVE 🤭❤️

↳ jenniferjareau: penelope you’d be glad you don’t have to be with (Y/N) out in the field because she goes feral when she sees hotch with kevlar vest

↳ its(Y/L/N): uh no i don’t. psh kevlar vest? nah doesn’t look good on him. i don’t know what you’re talking about

↳ spencer.reid: your respiratory rate increases whenever you see hotch wear that and in general your pupils dilate when you just see hotch

↳ its(Y/L/N): go choke, spencer

derekmorgan: she wants another dog, doesn’t she?

↳ aaron_hotchner: yeah. she saw one at this little adoption event held at the park last week

↳ daverossi: you’re about to give in, aren’t you?

↳ e.prentiss: the silence is loud, of course he’s going to give in to her

Liked by derekmorgan, e.prentiss and 84 others

its(Y/L/N): why has he not looked at me for the past hour :(

view all 24 comments

derekmorgan: i smell jealousy in the air 👀

↳ spencer.reid: who? hotch or (Y/N)?

↳ jenniferjareau: have you not seen hotch’s eyebrows go deeper than it usually is, spence?

↳ e.prentiss: sulky (Y/N) is also my favorite version of her

↳ its(Y/L/N): i just want my boyfriend to give me attention :(

↳ daverossi: guess aaron’s still a jealous man when it comes to detective peralta aka that goofy detective here in brooklyn.

↳ aaron_hotchner: i don’t know what you’re talking about, dave.

↳ itspennyg: sir hotch, don’t you worry! detective peralta is in no way infatuated with our (Y/N) because he’s happily chained to detective santiago

↳ spencer.reid: i don’t know whether i should thank you for this penelope, but i did not miss the mushiness of lovesick (Y/N)

↳ e.prentiss: aaaaand we’re back to the madly in love hotch and (Y/N)

Liked by jenniferjareau, itspennyg and 89 others

its(Y/L/N): i am gifting everyone with young aaron hotchner because i simply cannot stop swooning

view all 13 comments

aaron_hotchner: sweetheart, i love you but– this is embarrassing.

↳ e.prentiss: this feels almost illegal to see. what even happened to you?

↳ jenniferjareau: i seriously cannot believe this was hotch

↳ itspennyg: HOTCH??? I AM??? IN ABSOLUTE SHOCK??? 😧

↳ spencer.reid: just erase the wrinkles and lessen his eyebrows a tad bit, we’ll come up with the image of the present aaron hotchner.

↳ derekmorgan: boss man must’ve gotten a lot of ladies

↳ its(Y/L/N): my man’s so handsome though. present or past >:( also morgan, no

↳ aaron_hotchner: my girl :) and morgan, i do not want to bread to be thrown at me

↳ daverossi: she’s saying that so you could let her get that dog.

↳ its(Y/L/N): literally go choke on pasta, rossi 😒

Liked by daverossi, derekmorgan and 97 others

its(Y/L/N): someone sent jack and i to run errands just so he could send me this selfie saying “come home mama” 🥺 HE GAVE IN TO ME. welcome to the hotchners, cooper! 🐾🤍

view all 19 comments

e.prentiss: i simply cannot believe how much of a simp hotch is for you

↳ derekmorgan: she should make him give us more weekends 😉

↳ its(Y/L/N): your wish is my command my lovely friends

itspennyg: every time (Y/N) uses ‘welcome to the hotchners’, i forget you two aren’t married :( WHEN WILL I HEAR THE WEDDING BELLS 🙈👀

↳ aaron_hotchner: soon enough, garcia.

↳ jenniferjareau: hotch, im gonna need you to pay for my ear check-up because (Y/N) just called me to screech into the phone

↳ spencer.reid: yeah, you’re gonna need to pay for two check-ups.

↳ e.prentiss: make that three, she busted out my ear drums. put a ring on her now, hotch

↳ its(Y/L/N): EXCUSE ME I DID NOT SCREECH IN YOUR EARS 😒

↳ aaron_hotchner: i heard you from the sidewalk when i threw out the trash, sweetheart.

↳ daverossi: i don’t know whether i should be terrified or amused. but im gonna need that (Y/L/N)-hotchner wedding soon.

A/N: im enjoying way too much with this fake social media thing and this makes me yearn more for our favorite grumpy dilf 😒 ANYWAYS i hope you love it, lmk what you think :)

ps. yes i did put brooklyn 99 in the cm universe 🤭 just want my crime fighting worlds to collide <3

click here if you wanna be a part of my taglist for my future works!

tagging my lovely hotch girl nation: @ssamorganhotchner @14buddy22 @allthefandomstogether @sbeno22 @1234-angelika @fandom-life-12 @sprentiz @themoontoyourshine @aaronhotchy @singinginacargettinglostupstate @gspenc @616wilsons @fadingpersonaspyexpert @thenewnormalforensicator

[always-andromeda]

aaaAAA valentines prompts are here!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) weeee please spare some white chocolate truffle for love of my life dwayne? thank you dearest, compliments to the chef (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

– 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦

𝐃𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: aHH okay this was super cute!! I hope you enjoy this one, anon!! also lmao, yes, the title is a song. it's from Yellow House and it always reminds me of Dwayne. <3

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Dwayne is aged up to be high school senior, pure fluff, bits of Dwayne being a little pessimistic guy, nothing else I can think of!

First period hadn't even started yet and already you could tell that Dwayne was itching for the final bell. He sighed, folding his hands together and resting his chin on top of them. You watched him peer out from under his curtain of dark hair at a few students around you both exchanging cards, candies, and little stuffed toys. 

"Doing okay there, Dwayne?" you asked as you unloaded your textbook and your binder.

He threw you a sideways glance and replied blankly, "I'm a ray of sunshine." Whatever modicum of patience he usually had in school was drained entirely by Valentine's Day.

"Oh, yeah. You're looking especially chipper today."

This time, Dwayne turned to look at you fully with his brow furrowed.

"It's a joke."

"Have you seen what's been going on today?"

"Uh, yeah, it's a holiday," you shrugged.

"It's bullshit. It's an excuse for fucking candy and card companies to make a killing," he sneered. "Because if you don't buy your boyfriend or girlfriend a stupid piece of paper that says 'I love you' then you're obviously a bad person, right?"

You scoffed, "Not exactly."

That earned another scowl from Dwayne.

"Listen, I get what you mean. It can be superficial and overbearing sometimes, I guess." You struggled to conjure the right words to explain yourself in a way that Dwayne would understand, "But...it's nice sometimes, ya know? It's nice to have someone show that they thought about you."

"Please," Dwayne dismissed. "It's not about thought or care. It's all...bullshit social transactions that no one is gonna give a shit about after we graduate anyways. It's just...dumb."

Placing a hand over the top of your binder defensively, the more Dwayne spoke, the more you found a lump forming in your throat. It made it even harder to speak as you choked out, "Dumb?"

"Yeah. And...gross," he huffed with an air of stubbornness. He'd never been particularly fond of the holiday; the unnecessary drama of couples asking each other to be their Valentine and the gossip that came from rejections for days afterwards. But...you thought...

With a new wave of frustration, you flipped open the cover of your binder and pulled a card out from the inside flap. You slid it across the top of the table in Dwayne's direction. "Then there's a stupid card for you, Dwayne. Happy Valentine's Day," you added bitterly.

Dwayne froze. Already, the cover threw him off. There was the haunting phrase of the day written out in your handwriting and above it, a drawing of a bouquet of flowers in glitter gel pens. Slowly, he opened the card, finding more of your handwriting hiding inside.

I know this is super cliche. And you're probably going to roll your eyes at me when you read this. Promise me you won't hate me too much. Or at least promise me you'll spare me the embarrassment and forget this immediately after you read it. I just had to try at least once. But I really like you. Will you be my Valentine?

With your head hidden in your folded arms, you could only guess what you and Dwayne looked like to the rest of your classmates. Already, you were anticipating how that scene would get spun. Everyone talked about how you and Dwayne were bound to end up together, seeing as you're one of the only people that would willingly hang around with the reclusive guy. And one of the only people that he would actually let hang around him.

Your first thought after that was to think about Dwayne. He didn't like being the center of attention. Being talked about like this would be the most aggravating thing in the world. And god, it frustrated you that even when he was being a jerk, you still worried about him.

Then you felt a poke on your shoulder. You raised your head and found Dwayne, still looking at the card and tracing the flowers on the cover. But this time his hand was on the table, open with his palm facing up. Inviting you to grab it. Which you do, quickly.

"I'm sorry for what I said," he muttered.

You sniffed softly. "That's okay."

"I like the card."

"Thanks."

“And I'll be–" Dwayne paused. "I'll be your Valentine."

The exhilaration inside you flared so intensely that you couldn't help but squeeze his hand in return. And Dwayne also couldn't help the tiny smile that formed on his lips when he felt the warmth of your sweaty hand enveloping his. Maybe both of you could be right about Valentine's Day. It was gross. But...nice. Very nice.

[the-s1lly-corner]

An stressed and extremely explosive reader x Kinger, Caine and Ragatha. (The old hags trio haha) let me explain it to ya

Reader is always stressed because of they are pratically stuck in a digital world with (supossedly) no way out, so instead of freaking out and/or getting slowly insane, Reader is very agressive and explosive all the time.

Especially in IHA, because they have to bare the fact that they need to pass through "stressing" situation who sometimes could be a near-abstraction experience.

Everytime reader gets too stressed because of something, Reader explodes and they are screaming around or with the cause of the problem if its a person (AHEM, JAX-) and only calms down when they are stopped by others or when they spend some time alone.

Anyways i just basically wants to see how would they react seeing reader have something similar to female & male rage moment.

(if this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to ignore this request, and im very sorry for making you uncomfortable if thats the case).

- 🐈

Caine, Kinger, and Ragatha w/ a reader who blows up!

WEEEE speed running this request before i have to pop my macarons into the oven eheheheheheh i think i might write itward stuff tonight but idk!! need me some ideas for itward stuff when in doubt for gifs use slime mmm mmm yummy

CAINE:

he can and he WILL put an immediate pause on the current IHA when he sees its making you really overwhelmed. he may even dismiss the entire event just to make sure youre okay; you mean so much to him and if youre getting this close to abstraction just from getting upset hes going to be there for you. i think it would actually make him tone down the intensity of IHAs , at least a little bit... he doesnt really know what qualifies as "too much" so please be patient with him!

makes sure to do everything he can to help; want him to go away? hes already launching himself to the other side of the grounds. need him to talk to you? hes going to be saying whatever you need him to say for as long as you need him to. very nice very silly i love him chews

RAGATHA:

similar to the other two she takes you off to the side, probably takes you to her room or yours and lets you work your own feelings out however you need to get them out. this isnt the first time youve have an outburst, but it doesnt make the glitching any less scary. tries to calm you down with her voice, giving you things to squish and mess with.. just as long as youre not hurting yourself she wont intervene with your method of calming down. very sweet about it. if youre anything like me, then youre probably going to be tired afterwards, and she will let you sleep. will crawl into bed with you if you want here around, if not shes going to respect that... if it was someone who riled you up shes going to make sure they get an earful, as well as keeps a closer eye on that person when theyre interacting with you because she doesnt want you to be this miserable all the time

KINGER:

nearly dies when he sees your body momentarily glitch, well at least as close as he can to dying in that moment. hes immediately rushing to you and talking a mile a minute trying to ask if youre okay, which admittedly probably makes you snap at him. overstimulation is one hell of a thing, but as long as you explain yourself and apologize when youre in a better place then its going to work itself out. kinger tries to take you off to the side, away from whatevr it is that was upsetting you. be it an IHA or another circus member, hes going to take you into his pillow fort and leave you be. he waits outside by its entrance, anxiously waiting for you to give him the go ahead to enter... very stressed out man he wants more than anything to comfort you and talk you through it but he knows you need alone time during times like this

[lovejosephquinn]

Just anything cute and fluffy dad!joe pls I’m having major baby fever right now

Tagging @josephfakingquinn because she's crying out for dad!joe.

Thank you for your request, think we'll all admit we're a sucker for him and I thought this little blurb was so cute. Baby fever delivered.

You're out on a lovely summery day, the sun is shining and all around the park you can hear the sounds of birds chirping in the trees surrounding it, children running around and squealing with excitement at their other friends and the echo's of other parents calling out with a be careful! or come on, time to go!

You and Joe on the other hand are with your 18 month old, wandering over to the younger part of the playground, putting your son onto the swings and you're pushing him lightly whilst he swings back and fourth, Joe in front of him making him giggle and screech when he's making grabby hands at his feet, eventually going to making silly faces every time he swings forward to meet him. Either way it's the most adorable thing you've ever witnessed and since your boy was born, there'd been a lot of those happenings. The giggle's sounding from Joe himself are just a deeper version of what's coming from your son's mouth and it's the best unified sound your ears were to be blessed with at that moment in time; like two peas in a pod, the other noises drowned out from your fixation on your boy's.

The whole week had been some form of win for you as parents, as he was walking little steps with the help of your hands guiding him. Over you trotted to the slide, a giant object to him but miniscule to you as grown ups. Joe's hands gripped to his as his feet touched down to the ground one by one, lifting into the air and stumbling slightly a few times, Joe pulled him up each time, to which instead of making a huge deal about it, you'd both simply chuckle and say oh no, not again. in an excitable voice, purely to let him know there was nothing to worry about.

You took it in turns climbing up the small stairs and sitting your toddler on your lap, edging yourselves to slide down and make a weeee sound each time you descended the tiny slope. Your son was a naturally happy child, boisterous as well as careful, always laughing and smiling at whatever was happening, a sweet triumph indeed.

Sitting on the field after a good hour of repetitive playing, you shared a bag of food you'd prepared for the warm afternoon, a blanket rested against the grass for you all to sit on. Talking amongst yourselves, you'd bare witness that today was another new day of firsts for him as you watched him shuffling over to the daisies in the ground, picking at them and holding them up to show you both at his new finding, a look of shock when you situated them in Joe's curls for him to eventually giggle at his silly daddy for looking so funny with the little flowers tucked a top on his head.

Leaning back to bask in the sun's warmth, you'd only took your eyes off him for a second, Joe getting up to fetch the ball you'd brought for him to play with, rolling it across the blanket and mastering the technique of him rolling it back to you with Joe's help. Putting it by his side then going back over to the park's bin to throw the contents of leftovers before returning over and gasping. Your eyes that were shut for a moment, enjoying the second of quiet had you shooting your gaze open in sudden alert, first at Joe who made the apparent sound of surprise then straight back to your baby who had now given you and Joe your own first that day. "Babe, babe, look!" Joe pointed.

Rising to his feet all by himself, your boy stumbled down to the floor pretty much straight away, trying again each time to see if he could hold his own more and more and eventually steadying himself and taking a step forward; only to land on his little bum once more. Your throat hitched when you witnessed what Joe just had, your hands came to cover your mouth as you both applauded him and cheered on. "Oh my goodness." you shrieked. "He's walking!" Joe's eyes filled with the brink of tears, a proud daddy watching on.

For a little time after that, you and Joe spent facing one another with minimal distance apart, helping him to stand and the other holding their hands out for him to totter on over, a challenge for you all to undertake and successful in his wake. His will and courage to muster the scary task of taking his first steps was proven quite quickly and it without a doubt surprised the both of you that he'd become so independent with it so soon.

You were mentally punching your fist in the air, a shake of your head in disbelief towards your man that you and Joe as first time parents had managed to get your baby to this point. In the same breath, a little sadness that it was all coming too fast and you had a little gutted notion that he wasn't a baby anymore, but becoming a little boy.

After he'd tired himself out from the day's activities, you put him back into his stroller and let him fall to sleep almost immediately, a little wind had hit so you'd covered him with his favourite blanket, cooing and stroking his head before beginning to push him. With Joe by your side, his arm hooked around your shoulder, he stopped in the middle of the path making you abruptly come to a stand still.

"What's the matter?" You smiled.

Joe put his fingers onto your chin, leaning down to give you a simple yet sweet and endearing kiss on the lips.

"I'm just so proud of our son, he's doing so well." Joe moved away not before planting a kiss to the bridge of your nose.

"I know, I just want him to stay little forever." You pouted your bottom lip.

"He'll always be our baby no matter what, my darling." A pause of silence came over the both of you, you nodded slightly to Joe's response, a smirk overcoming Joe's face when you furrowed your brow towards him.

"What?" You chuckled.

"Maybe it's time we made another." Joe winked your way and you had to look away, excitement? Lust maybe? Or just the thought of making another baby together was such a perfect idea.

[joeseventies]

RTC characters as quotes my friends and i have said

Mischa: "Go get your ears hear-ed."

Constance: "Today I got out of my mom's car and I fell and I said 'weeee' before I fell."  

Penny: "And they sit in the windowsill and just stay completely still and they stare."

Ricky: "How giant… is the Uno."

Noel: "Meh." Ocean: "Meh? What does that mean?" Noel: "Its like shrugging, but with my voice."

Penny: "If I had a nickel for everytime I swallowed a nickel, I'd have exactly one nickel."

Ricky: "Everytime a phone rings, nitrogen gets its wings."

Mischa: "Too fast for the eye movement."

Constance: "I think that's legit the flavor." Ocean: "Flavor? Do you EAT your handsanitizer?" Penny: "I do."

Constance: "Dont threaten me about my socks! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Ricky: "Careful there J.D." Mischa: "Who's that?" Ricky: "You dont know who J.D. is?" Mischa: "Isn't he from Warrior Cats?"

Noel: "You have the IQ of soft toast."

Penny: "I'm not a criminal, I'm just a drug dealer."

Mischa: "If I'm an idiot, then you're a ghost."

Constance: "You're not stinky."

Noel: "He’s like a very Italian pepperoni pizza. But british."

Ricky: "I'm shoving my gay up my pants."

Mischa: "Everybody gangsta till they tongue starts feeling weird."

Ricky: "Imma great mafia talk. Meow shmeow."

Penny: "3 people voted. God is dead."

Ricky: "Homosexual bad grr"

Noel: "I am not fucking watching Glee."

Ricky: "Remember: When fire strikes… Gay out and slay out!"

Noel: "They're still gnomes, I don't care if they're gay."

Ricky: "Happy Birthday, here's my AIDS."

Constance: "Chocolate MILF? I like women."

Ocean: "What's under my eyes? That's right. Abstinence."

Mischa: "I will only shake my ass for the POPE!!"

Ricky: "Run me over with your car, oh baby."

Ocean: "Give me your paper, you infertile gold digger."

Noel: "You're the one staring at my donut like a pedophile staring at a playground."

Penny: "Its not vandalism if it's fun."

Mischa: "Do you wanna check out my ass? For one second?"

Constance: "Straight people can be kinky too."

Ocean: "I'm literally a lobster. Lobsters don't have airpods."

Ricky: "Another day, another slay."

Mischa: "Don’t pull up on me. I'll pull up on your mouth."

Penny: "I know where your heart is."

Ocean: "You want my life to be miserable because you won't give me a penny?"

Penny: "I can feel every fiber in your body."

Noel: "Do as I say, not as I say."

Penny: "Does your fish want to paint? Woop woop woop."

Ricky: "Do you guys like my ring? Just kidding it's a pink monkey."

Mischa: getting choked "That was good form."

Ocean: "Let me put my hand in your pocket and show you I'm not gay."

Penny: "I always make people look away. Whether it be with my face or my actions."

Constance: "Little donuts on my math paper make me anxious."

Penny: "I've been craving water since 2nd grade."

Ocean: "Turn on your brains. Turn on your ears. Cause it sounds like they're not on."

Penny: "So health or religion?" Ricky: "Communism."

Mischa: "They word in such a way that words should not or should word."

Mischa: “Wait Stuart Little is Shakespeare?”

Noel: "You know how much I'd kill myself??!??!"

Penny: "Yep that's some high quality cocaine."

Noel: "Youre pissing me off." Ocean: "You're pissing me on."

Ocean: "You're gonna end up on an episode of forensic files."

[n3rdy247]

HEY GIRL YOU DEFINITELY DONT KNOW WHO THIS IS *WINK WINK WINK WINK* (I'm saying wink out loud everytime btw)

From stranger to stranger *wink* do you by any chance write samgladiator hcs??????? 😊😊😊

Perhaps x reader hcs??????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

THATD BE SO SILLY IF YOU DID YKNOW LIKE GIRL ITD BE CRAZYYYYYYYY YKNOW LIKE ITD BE SO INSANEEEEEEEE RIGHT???????????

EAEHRHHSUGHE DUDE RIGHTHTHTH IT WOULD BE SOOOOOO FUCKING WILD AND SUCH A SILLY THING TO DO 🤭🤭🤭

(PROBABLY WILL BE OOC THOUGH since i only watched a few episodes, so I'm really sorry if this doesn't really fit your headcanons anon WHO I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW *wink wink*)

(ANYWAY, these will be (mostly) based off the reboot since idk much and keep in mind that I only watched a few episodes, so I'm really sorry if these HCs seem really OOC)

YHS!SAM X READER HEADCANONS GO WEEEE!!!!

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE

❥ Sooo, starting off the bat, since I'm not really writing yandere hcs, let's put all the batshit crimes he committed aside for this occasion..and focus on him being really silly. ❥ If you see him tripping near a trash can, dude, that's on YOU. I imagine he'd be jokingly bragging to someone how he is about to make a 'pro gamer move', then immediately fail a millisecond later before he could even try SHIT

❥ His love language? Well...uh....you could say it's kind of a mix. ❥ For example, gift giving? Absolutely. If you were to mention something specific that you wanted even once (or maybe even when you were talking to yourself while walking back home)? Expect that very thing to appear right outside your doorstep with a poorly drawn rabbit doodle sticked on top of it with a bunny sticker. ❥ Quality time? Definitely! He loves to see you wake up and THRIVE FOR ANOTHER DAY! You BET he stalks the shit out of you though. If you can't shake the feeling that you're being watched at school, on the road back home, and mayybe when you are about to sleep, then that's on HIM. (Sorry, I said I'm not really writing yandere hcs, not that I will never write any.) ❥ Physical touch? ... ❥ DO YOU TAKE HIM AS A MENTALLY WELL GUY? I DIDN'T THINK SO. ❥ You should know by now that he would SCREAM the second his hand accidentally brushes against yours (though we're not sure about the accident part WINK WINK)

❥ I also have a teeny tiny headcanon that he only lets YOU touch his rabbit ears. (and I MEAN ONLY YOU if others even TRIED they'd be thrown to the nearest dumpster) And when you do so? He MELTS. Like don't be surprised if you see him giggle like a freaking teenage girl is what I'm trying to say 🤭🤭🤭

❥ You also cannot tell me he wouldn't also try to impress you, one way or another. Whether it be trying to make you giggle and twirl your hair by saying the most APPALLING pickup lines of all time, or casually talking to you about your interests as if he was already a huge fan of em (bro actually stood up all night looking at every search result on google about that topic, BUT SHH)

❥ He would also tell you about his day BY EITHER LYING OR TWISTING HIS WORDS AROUND. COME ON NOW.

"Sooo..what weree you up to this weekend?" ❥ "Oh, me??? Well, I bought my friend a cat...and I did help a guy raise money for his cancer.." as he recalls what the FUCK happened in his life that went wrong

❥ Now. You know this man would never ever want to leave you alone (as if it wasn't obvious enough with the abandonment issues and the stalking, but I digress) so you definitely would need to reassure his ass. But once you do so? His droopy rabbit ears would slowly, but surely go right back up again. He can't help it though, you just seem to always make him feel better by existing.

either way, he is a little fucked up bastard someone please put him in a psychiatric hospital (or kiss him, that sounds like a better solution) *DROPS THE MIC AND IMMEDIATELY RUNS*

[squibbles-gubwee]

(Hi. I wrote something silly based off of the @tmntaucompetition and my AU/Fic called Once More, With Feeling. enjoy!)

"And here we are, Hueso's, right as I said we'd be- and it's a basketball court."

Leo stepped away from the portal as everyone exited, staring in shock and awe at everything around him. His brothers soon followed, then his older self, then Rook. Several teams of siblings much like their own were dotted about, some doing stretches, some sitting in bleachers, some were even cheerleaders, and-

"Why do all the Leos have bats??"

:readmore:

"I dunno Raph, but I kinda wanna know if I can have one…" Mikey grinned looking around more. He waved excitedly to a very large Donatello who was peering into the arena from the skies. He seemed confused at first before waving back.

Several individuals were running around, changing things up during the break. Lights were put up, bleachers and stands moved, fences put up and-

Oh. Oh it was just straight up a baseball diamond now. Outdoors and everything.

"Ah! Here it is!" Their Donnie piped up, looking down at his phone. "It's an event. Several universes worth of Us are competing. Weeee…..Missed entries. Our author says they're scared of competitions anyway and also we weren't fleshed out, plus the whole Leon and Rook thing going on, well-"

"Our what?"

"Don't worry about it. Totally normal distraction, but it's almost time for the next event, and it looks like the prize is- oh look. A free trip to therapy, nice."

Rook blinked, hard. "Wait. All of them are competing for therapy. That means…Oh dear. Poor kids…and…gods? And- Wow, quite a few older turtles... Is that Mikey? Huh."

"At least we get all the free therapy we want with you." Raph chuckled, nudging the human. The human smiled back lazily and patted his shoulder.

"Speak for yourself…" The older slider grumbled, looking around. It seemed even the spirit visions of his brothers were having a hoot, running around and getting closer looks at all the contestants. The ghostly shade of Mikey was inspecting another version of himself, one with long flowing hair that didn't look ancient. Donnie seemed to be talking to a…computer…and Raph was watching over the swath of tots and little ones.

"Not my fault I can't help you. I'm a children's therapist, not a crotchity old fuck therapist."

Leon glared at Rook, opening his mouth to say something rude right back, before Mikey interrupted, urging them to take seats in the bleachers.

"Man, looking through all these notes is insane." Donatello hummed, swiping through all the blurbs. "Lot of abuse. Looooot of various trauma, but!! Some aren't like that- I mean, in this one, L- oh, no, that one's sad too. Hm. This one has us being like, representations of celestial bodies (that's the big guys up there)- Oh, in this one I was raised by Big Mama-"

"Is that why you look like the biggest dork alive out there?"

"HEY."

"What else is in there? Anything about us?" Mikey asked, peering over the oldest twin's shoulder.

"Well there's a lot here. For starters, the number of entries for our group won't let me put in 4, 5, or 6. It keeps saying that's not the right amount for us... The other thing is that it has sections that straight up won't let me look, and says that I lack authorization. Probably Author stuff. Can't look without spoiling things. Buuuut…." he gave a sharp grin, scrolling to the "About" blurb. "It says right here that the big idiot and Rook are supposed to fall in love."

"W H A T. No. Nonono. ¡De ninguna manera!"

"Absolutely NOT. Gag me with a spoon."

Rook sneered over at Leon, the two amputees glaring at one another hatefully as the young turtles all crowded around Donnie's phone, vying for a peek of whatever info they could grab.

Nearby, curious eyes narrowed some at the group before their owner snuck away. Sticking to the shadows, the nosy blue masked ninja made their way back to their group.

"Hey, sooo…the new spectators, up there in the bleachers?"

"Yeah?"

"The one with the blue hair is a therapist or something."

"Huh. Wow. Is he like, connected to the prize?"

"Not as far as I can tell."

Nearby to that group, another overheard, whispering to one another, occasionally throwing glances up to the bleachers holding the human bickering with the 40 year old mutant.

"Do you uh….do you think I can get in with him?"

"Maybe?? Wait, can we get a group discount you think, or-"

Then another group of ninja turtles overheard.

And another.

And then 5 more.

-

Rook huffed, returning with arms laden with food.

"Nachos, bag of beef jerky and a gatorade?"

"That's mine!"

"Pretzel with salt and mustard, mini m&ms, and an icee?"

"Right here!"

"Monster, hot dog with honey aaaand a flavorless juice, since I saw they had some."

"Ah, thank you very much."

"Two bottles of apple juice, two pizza slices and a bag of flamin' hot cheetos."

"Gracias, Rook-a-dee!"

"And a large popcorn and the largest cup of Mountain Dew they can legally sell."

Leon blinked. "I didn't think you'd actually buy it for me."

"Path of least resistance. Now take your stuff, I have a gallon of sweet tea and some nachos to bust into."

The larger mutant rolled his eyes and took the treats before looking back at the busy field.

…What the hell were they all whispering about and looking up here for?

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Himbo Househusband: Morgan Jox

“I got this baby! Rock the world, lovebug!” 

Ever supportive and Ever enthusiastic 

Muscles either completely exposed or practically tearing past his small t-shirt

He sends you off with more energy than your caffeinated drink

He waits until your out of sight

Going through his schedule to decide which intensive workout he’s doing before his chores

After his squats or pull-ups he prepares for another daily exercise

Pulling up the recent picture of you either working out or still sleeping as he left for his morning run he’s fully ready

“(Y/n)!!! IS THE PERFECT HUMAN BEING!!!”

“THEIR EYES ARE THE MOST ATTRACTIVE OF ALL!”

“MY (Y/n) IS MY (Y/N)!!!”

He so loud the other housespouses can hear him

He makes it a routine to shout about all the awesome things he sees in you

He would do it to your face but you get so embarrassed he can’t really do it around

So this how he gets his fix

He’ll also replay the most recent memories of the last time you had intercourse

Then he begins his chores

Gentle with the appliances because he knows he can be rough

Lightly going through your laundry so he doesn’t rip anything

Carefully planting your favorite flowers in the yard

And he’ll either order or start some meal prep 

but once that's done he’s heading to his underground  ring:

“Nice ta see ya again Jox!” 

“Rapstley, you know not to use that name here.”

“Sure sure.”

Despite the twitch in his smile he hugs the ratty coach before proceeding to focus on properly lining his knuckles. 

“..h-hey y-ya sure ya want ta do this? He’s just trying to emb’rrass ya, I don’t thinks he really wants yer uh love bug or anythin’”

Morgan tested his grip tightly closing his fist as he recalled the maddening threat before letting his typical smile shine deviously on his face. He kept his eyes on his ebony knuckles as he mentally filled his head with his favorite moments of you before meeting the anxiously creased eyes of Rapstley. 

“Nope. I’ve made up my mind. As their husband it’d be stupid if I didn’t defend their name Besides–”

He waited at the beaded doorway watching his opponent jump around to the reaction of the crowd. His smile twitched but remained unshaken as he set his sights on the teeth of his opponent.

“I’ve already decided that they're mine.”

Ding* Ding*

“Weeeellll members of our underground audience the Behemoth is still smashing this guy—what's his name? Nevermind doesn’t matter—is getting his head mashed into human slush! Sounding like a pretty good snack right now, this is why you–?

*DON’T THREATEN LOVEBUG!!!!*

“That’s right folks! Behemoth should– Never. Be. Tested. Or rather keep doin’ it because weeee lovelovelove your—?”

*DEMISE*

“As promised, Behemoth will be going home with that million dollar cash prize!!! See ya next time folks!” 

__________________________________________

“B-babe?! Why did our joint account go up to three million? Is this a mistake? Who do we call–?”

“No no lovebug! Remember my friend at the gym? He needed a trainer and he was…particularly generous this time around.” 

“T-that’s crazy! D-did you thank him?”

“Of course baby, I fixed him one of those famous protein shakes!” 

“Oh that's really sweet, that is if it's as expensive to make as the rumors say.”

“Don’t worry about it Lovebug! Now will you help me do my push ups.”

“Y-you mean by sitting on you’re back?”

“Yup! C’mon Lovebug, make my day…or we can do another workout…”

[liviavanrouge]

Livias class, flight and alchemy lines

Class

--Good Lines(Depending on the time)--

"This is kinda boring..."

"I wonder how far the Thorn Queens thorns could go"

"Jaguar...mutiny war"

"I learned all this from Nilo!"

"Silver said to work hard!"

"Who told this raggedy cat to come near me, he better move before I scorch his tail"

"Maybe I'll go to the library after this"

"I wanna see Headmaster Crowley!"

"I miss Crowley's presence"

--Great lines--

"Yay!"

"Tututu~"

"Wow, that's a fact!"

"I'm a bit annoyed right now..."

--Perfect Lines--

"Wowie!! Wowzers! Woah!"

"I did well, didn't I!?"

"I remembered that, hehe!"

"Hehehe, Leona taught me this one"

Special Lesson

"Crowley!"

"I'll do my best for the headmaster!"

"Mal Mal, Silver! I did it!!"

----

Flight

--Good(Depending on the time)--

"How fun!"

"Let's all be careful alright?"

"Silver says I'm a great flier!"

"WOAH! AH! SILVER HELP!!"

"I don't like areas that have too much sun, hurts my eyes and skin..."

"Grim...fly with me now"

"Bat Dad says to not be in the air for too long"

"Sebek says to take it slow and steady..."

"Hmph, where's Crowley?"

--Great--

"Weeee! Fun~"

"I used my wings for this one!"

"I wish Silver would be more careful..."

"Oh Trey! Look at me!"

--Perfect--

"Riddle says I look stiff.."

"Tututu~ the breeze feels great!"

"I wonder if Sebek is doing okay..."

"I see the orchard from here!"

Special

"This is amazing!!!"

"Ahahaha! Big brother look!"

"Honestly, flying is easy or are you all stupid"

----

Alchemy

--Good(Depending on the time)

"Stir it nice and slow..."

"Nasty smell!! Make it go away!"

"Mal Mal says to be careful"

"Big brother, big brother look! It changed"

"Silver!!! Wake up!"

"Oh no...Silver..."

"Vil taught me how to make this one!"

"Cowabunga!! Hehe, Floyd taught me that"

"This is gonna hurt my nose...."

--Great--

"Something on my coat?"

"Go back to where you came from..oh wait they don't want you, sorry I forgot"

"Honestly! Be more careful!

"Hah! I guess this is how Sebek feeks!"

--Perfect--

"Oh wow!"

"Rook, I did it!

"Haru, don't you dare!"

"Big brother, thanks for helping!"

Special

"How worthless are you!?"

"Do it right stupid, Crowley is watching!"

"Why are you even here, you're just a drag!"

----

Battle Lines

Battle Start: "Why are you even here?"

When Selected:

"I'm ready!"

2. "I don't wanna.."

3. "In we go!"

4. "Charge!"

Effect Usage:

Debuff: "I'll tell my big brother!"

Buff: "Use the magic wisely!"

Getting attacked:

"*Yowls*"

"Ouchie!"

Attacking:

"Cry Louder" -By Herself going first

"Disgusting!" -By Herself going first

"You hurt my eyes" -By herself going second

"You're useless!" -By herself going second

"Ugh, can we finish this!?" -With another student her going first

"Watch out weakling!" -With another student her going first

"I'll crush you worm!" -With another student her going second

"How much longer?" -With another student her going second

--Double Attacking--

"Why do I gotta fight you.." -By herself going first

"Bow your head!" -by herself going first

"Man, you're pathetic" -by herself going second

"I know best, heh~" -by herself going second

"I've been prepared for this!" -With another student her going first

"You entered a Jaguar den!" -with another student her going first

"This is a waste.." -with another student her going second

"Oh my God! Go down already!" -with another student her going second

--triple hits--

"You're dead!" -By herself going first

"How are you this worthless" -by herself going first

"Learn your place vermin!" -by herself going second

"Why do I bother..." by herself going second

"Wretched vermin! I'll make you cry!" -With another student her going first

"Honestly, are you even trying?" -with another student her going first

"I shall bury you alive!" -with another student her going second

"How dare you!?" -with another student her going second

--magic 3--

"Squeal in fear"

"You have some pathetic spells"

"Compared to me you're a bug"

"Unsightly rat!"

---

Battle Win

"Hah! How worthless you are"

Battle Lose

"Am I....worthless?"

@anxious-twisted-vampire @yukii0nna @writing-heiress @zexal-club @marrondrawsalot @yumeko2sevilla

[michelleleewise]

Loki's Di-llama 🦙🦙🦙

Pairing: Eventual Loki x Reader but right now he thinks she's a stinky mess and she thinks he's a hot jerk. Together they're a hot mess.

Warnings: Some innuendos and euphemisms about what Loki is packing down under and the effect it may have on some people, also attempted poisoning, mild swearing, yelling.

Summary: In the land of Asgard, King Loki is selfish and vain. His arrogance causes others to plot against him. When he's turned into a llama, will humble peasant Y/N help Loki even though he plans to knock down her beloved village and build...a closet for his clothes?!

A/N: I loved this idea so so much and had to take it to the lovely @xorpsbane to coauthor!! I'm so excited to write this with her and share it with you all!!! *giddy laughing* she will be penning the next part! Also, I wanted to include that our wonderful himbo Thor's shoulder angel was inspired by the lovely @lokisgoodgirl Steve from her wonderful Satchel Steve tales! Definitely go check it out HERE!!! It is beeeeyond amazing!!! 💚💚😁😁

Part one -- Part two-

"He can't get rid of me that easy!" Hela yelled, slamming the hammer down on a bust of Loki "who does that little brat think he is?" She yelled again, Thor placing another bust on the stool standing back. "Does he have any idea.." She said smashing the bust "who he's dealing with!?" She yelled again pacing back and forth. Thor placed another bust down "Well, it's good your taking it out on these instead of the real Loki." He said smiling. "Thor! Your a genius!" She yelled running up to him "i..I am?" He asked scratching his head. "To the secret lab!" She said waving her hand, Thor following behind her.

She walked up to a statue of a gargoyle holding two staffs "pull the lever Thor!" She said as Thor grabbed the one on the right, triggering a trap door "wrong leveeeeerrrrr." She called out as Thor looked down "woops." He said biting his nails. Suddenly the door opened revealing Hela soaking wet "Why do we even have that lever?" She asked stomping over "move you oaf." She said pulling the other lever triggering another trap door the two landed in a small cart as it slowly slid forward "weeee!" Thor yelled as it twisted and turned finally landing at the bottom. Hela walked over to the worktable covered in vials and beakers "now, let me see. Ah! I've got it! I could turn him into a snake, a harmless little snake....and then I'll put him in a box...and put that box into another box...and then I'll mail it to myself and when it arrives.." She started laughing maniacly "I'll smash it with your hammer!" She said rubbing her hands together.

"With Loki out of the way and no heir I'll take over....it's brilliant!" She said laughing. "But....you were fired." Thor said looking at her. "Only three people know about that....soon two." She smiled. "Am I one of the two?" He asked as Hela stared at him. "Are you sure you weren't dropped when we were children?" She asked. "I dunno." He said waving his hand knocking a vial over, the contents landing on a plant killing it instantly. "Hmm....I could instead poison him with this!" She said holding a beaker of green liquid. "Here, hold it Thor....feel the power." She said handing it to him "oh...I feel it." He said rubbing the glass. "It's...dinnertime!" She said laughing menacingly.

*cut to Thor lighting candles on the table.

"Is everything ready for tonight?" Hela asked smoothing out the front of her long black dress, fixing her headdress. "Yes! I found the recipe for these pastries that pop up when you cook them...I'm calling them.....pop tarts." He said smiling. "Uh..huh..." She said looking at him. "And the....you know..." She said winking "ooooooh the poison....the poison for Loki.....the poison chosen specifically to kill Loki....Loki's poison." He said staring at her "that poison?" He asked "yes you oaf that poison!" She snapped "I got you." He said winking pulling the vial out of his pocket. "You put it in his drink, and ill propose a toast and he'll be dead before desert." She smiled "which is sad because it's going to be delicious." He said looking down.

She was about to say something when the door flung open "don't worry, I have arrived." Loki said stalking inside, leaving a trail of panties in his wake. "Where's the food, I'm one hungry king of the world." He said plopping down in the chair "Thor, get the king something to drink." She said smiling "drink.....riiiiiiiight." he said winking running off to the bar. "So sis, what are you gonna do? I mean...you've been around a long time, I mean a looooong time." He said admiring his nails "are you sure someone of your....age can adjust to regular life?" He asked smiling "oh, I'm sure I'll make due...where's the kings drink Thor?" She asked gritting her teeth. "Coming right up." He said, adding the poison making a green cloud puff above him.

He walked over with three glasses on the tray "your drink....your highness." He said turning the tray "is something on fire?" Loki asked sniffing the air "aahh...my poptarts!" He yelled running off. Loki and Hela stared at eachother awkwardly waiting for Thor to return as Loki played with his fork when Thor came back holding a tray of pastries. "It's ok! I saved them" He said smiling "Good job big guy." Loki said smiling. "Thor, I think the king needs his drink now." Hela said "oh, riiiiiiiight." He winked. Walking to the tray he couldn't remember which was which "one second." Thor said going back to the bar he poured them all together stirring it before pouring each glass again, setting the tray on the table "a toast, to the king." Hela said holding up her glass "Long live Loki." She said as Loki downed his drink Thor looked at Hela whisper coughing "dont...drink...wine....poisoned." He said sticking his tongue out.

"Mmmm.....yummy." Loki said setting his glass down "now, what were we..." he started when he face planted onto his plate. "Finally, now.." She started when Loki sat back up "what were we saying?" He asked as Thor and Hela stared in horror "w..we were making a toast." She stared when two long ears sprouted from Loki's head "to your long and.." She stared seeing his neck lengthen "h..h..healthy rule." She smiled "oh, that's right...hey Thor, could you refill me?" Loki asked smiling, his nose jutting out, buck teeth sticking out "umm sure." He said looking at Hela as she brought her fist to her hand "hit him on the head." She whispered through gritted teeth. "Now, where's that food." Loki said rubbing his hands together as they turned into....hooves. Thor crept up behind him hitting him in the head with the tray knocking him out.

"A LLAMA! HE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!" She yelled "yeah, that's kinda weird" Thor said scratching his head "Let me see the bottle." Thor handed it to her, she peeled back the label "this isn't poison, it's extract of....Llama!" She groaned throwing the bottle at Thor. "Well honeslty all your poisons look the same, you really should organize them better." He said. "Take him out and finish this now!" She yelled "what about dinner?" He asked "seriously!? We need to take care of this before someone sees." She said rubbing her temples. "How about dessert?" He asked "well.....I supposed that wouldn't hurt." She said "and then finish this." She said storming off.

*cut to Thor sneaking across the palace with a large bag of Loki..

Guess where I am...yup, in the bag. Still think I'm not the victim in all this! All I did was be incredibly good looking, talented, and have a very large...purpose. but just wait....it gets better......

Thor stalked down the stairs, humming to himself as he came up to the canal that ran down the mountain, smiling as he tossed the bag over. "Welp, mission accomplished" He said smiling

"Heckers, your not just gonna let him die are you?" He heard "Oh, my shoulder angel." Thor said looking at the tiny blonde man in a white toga

"dude, don't listen to him, he's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness." He heard, seeing another tiny man with long dark hair and a shiny metal arm on his other shoulder "imma lead you down the path that rocks." He said fist pumping

"Jeepers, would you just not." His angel said

"pff..listen up punk, I'll give you three reasons to just walk away, one...look at that guy, he has that sissy little purse thing." His devil said

"we've been through this, it's a satchel...and you know it bucky!" The angel said

"oh right stevie, that's a satchel, and that's a dress." The devil said

"it's a robe you barbarian." The angel said. "Reason two...look what I can do.." the devil said jumping down doing a handstand with his metal arm

"What does that have to do with.." Thor started "no..he's got a point." The angel said watching intently. "Look, I don't need this, just..begone..or however I make you go away." He said as they both vanished. Thor watched as the bag got closer to the cliff, running towards it he jumped out, grabbing just as it was about to go over.

Running through the palace he chewed on his lip "come on Thor think, what do I do...what do I.." he started down the stairs stepping on a cats tail "sorry little fella, I didn't hurt...." he started when the cat hissed launching himself at Thor's face, turning into a whirling dervish of hair and claws as Thor cried out dropping the bag. "Unhand me you demon." He yelled trying to pull the cat from his face, missteping he tumbled down the stairs with the cat latched onto his face. Landing at the bottom with a thud he looked up seeing the bag on a cart being pulled by a young woman. "Miss...miss wait!" He called out prying the cat from his face he looked up seeing the woman gone in the crowd of people. "Uh oh...I hope that doesn't come back to bite me." He said biting his nails.

*cut again to y/n pulling the cart up to the village..

"What am I gonna tell everyone?" You asked the llama pulling the cart, seeing it stare off into the distance "good talk." You said sighing guiding him up the hill. "Y/n, your home! How was the trip? What did the king want?" Natasha asked "hey sis, he....couldn't see me." You said rubbing your arm "seriously? What an ass! You walked all the way there and he couldn't see you?" She asked crossing her arms "yeah...I guess so. Something about organizing his panties or something." You said "if I were you, I'd go give him a piece of my mind! King or not you don't need to be a jerk." She said stomping inside "yeah..." She sighed looking down. "You ok y/n?" Nat asked "yeah...I'm just gonna go put Oliver away." You said guiding the llama to the stable behind the house. You sat on a log next to the little pond, trying to memorize it as it may be one of the last times you'll see it...

Hey! Two seconds....Remember me? I'm the one unconscious in the cart....this story is about me...not her....good? Ok....moving on....

You got up walking back to the house when you heard a groan coming from the back of the cart, seeing a bag shifting around. "What the.." you said. Untying the bag you saw a a dazed black and orange llama. "Oh, hey little guy...are you ok?" You asked rubbing it's head. "Nooo....touchie...." it said making your scream "DEMON LLAMA!" You yelled jumping back "what..demon llama...where..." it said looking at your llama it screamed and tried running away but tripped and rolled hitting the wall "Uuuugghhhh." It said laying there. "It's ok demon llama, just calm down.." you said inching forward "what are you..wait! I know you..your that dirty smelly peasant girl who didn't want to kneel" He said sitting up. You stared in shock "k..king Loki?" You asked staring.

"Uh yeah...duh, has the fifth affected your brain as well?" He snarked "well you..you don't look like the king." You said walking closer. "What nonsense are you talking about?" He asked. "Um, well...do this." You said wiggling your fingers. He rolled his eyes lifting his hoof "what is this, some stupid game you peasants play.." he stopped seeing the hooves "wait..how.." he said looking around he ran to the pond screaming seeing his reflection "aaahh my face! My beautiful gorgeous face! I'm an ugly stinky llama!!" He yelled leaning against the wall crying "i have llama face!" He cried kicking his hooves. "Calm down..how did this happen?" You asked crouching down.

"I dont know ok.." he said trying to stand up, faceplanting on the ground. "I..I don't remember..i..wait!" He said turning around "You! I remember you, and telling you I was building my new closet where your house is and you...YOU TURNED ME INTO A LLAMA!" He yelled siting up "what!? Why.." you tried "and then you kidnapped me so I couldn't knock your house down!" He yelled "why would I kidnap a llama?" You asked crossing your arms "Hey, your the mastermind here...not me." He said grabbing the fence post "wait, that's giving you entirely too much credit." He said trying to walk.

"I have to get back to the palace, Hela has that "secret lab", I'll just order her to change me back" he said smiling "smelly peasant girl, I order you to take me back." He said standing up. You thought for a second looking at him "no.." you said sternly. I beg your pardon?" He asked glaring at you "I can't let you go back unless you build your "closet" somewhere else." You said fidgeting with your hands. "Hmm..come here." He said as you walked closer "closer.." he said. Coming face to face with him "wait, back up.." he said holding his nose "You really do assault the senses...anyway...I DONT MAKE DEALS WITH PEASENTS!" He yelled making you jump.

"Well then, I can't take you back." You said glaring at him. "Whatever...I don't need some whiny peasent anyway, I'll find my own way." He said walking towards the forest. "I wouldn't recommend that! It's pretty dangerous if you don't know your way." You said as he sauntered off "I mean it! There are jaguars, and snakes, and man eating plants!" You yelled "I'm not liiiiistening.." he sing songed continuing down the path. "FINE! GO AHEAD!..no Loki, no closet....doesn't bother me one bit." You said crossing your arms. You looked down the now empty path sighing "Dammit!" You yelled, following after him......

🦙💚🦙💚🦙💚🦙💚🦙💚🦙💚🦙💚🦙💚🦙💚🦙

@vbecker10 @lokisgoodgirl @sinsandguilt @high-functioning-lokipath @mochie85 @slytherclaw1227 @jaidenhawke @budugu @schizonephilim @lokidokieokie @holdmytesseract @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokixryss @asgardianprincess1050 @tallseaweed @aniar4wniak @sekaishell @lokispetblogs @loopsisloops @trojanaurora @lonadane @all-envy-suyu @yelkmelk @stupidthoughtsinwriting @123forgottherest @silverfire475 @bbmommy0902 @goblingirlsarah @commanding-officer @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @mcufan72 @glitterylokislut @tjellisworld @kkdvkyya @cueloki @daggers-and-mischief @sititran @witchyblue @verycollectivecreator @nixymarvelkins @chantsdemarins @shinraski @usagishira @nightshadelm @filthyhiddles @dukes2581 @assemblingavenger @yuu-chan-is-still-a-student12

[ardenssolis]

Name — Shi

Pronouns — she/her or they/them

Preferred comms — Discord buuut I don't like giving my Discord out unless we've been interacting and talking for a while nowadays, so I am trapped in the hell known as IM until then. Honestly, though, I have a tendency to get into writing or doing other things and forget anyone talked to me sometimes either way so--- 😭

Name of muse — Ozymandias

Experience in RP — I've been rping since I was a kid back in forever ago before I even really knew what rping was. It all started on a chat site and I wasn't sure what was going on but I liked it LMFAO. I think it was probably about middle school-ish time for me. 6th grade I guess??? So a while.

Best experiences — AAAAA many! I think some of my best experiences rping was when I was doing things with my friends on Twitter and Deviantart. They always inspired me to draw and we were constantly designing characters / joining art rp groups back then which helped me improve drastically. Ughugh I miss doing things like that sometimes.

Pet peeves / dealbreakers — Godmodding. The quickest way to make me drop a thread is making Ozy do something or saying he did something without consulting with me. That's a pretty big dealbreaker for me as I've been put in really uncomfortable situations as a result of people doing this. Also instantly coming at me with ship ideas is a bit of a put off if we like...have literally done one thing / I barely even know you. I had that happen day one of me making Ozy and it almost made me want to leave before I even did anything. Only time I will shake you around and be like, "yeah let's gooooo!" is if we've known one another a long time / I'm comfortable enough to do that.

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — That depends. I love writing things where it's deeply discussion based over beliefs, philosophies, and the like. Emotionally charged threads too since that gets my muse really going, but it doesn't need to quite be angst so IDK AAAAAA. Fluff is okay sometimes, although Ozy isn't exactly 'fluffy' most of the time and it's a 50/50 with him and his fickle moods. Smut is nice to write every now and then too because there can be a lot of characterization in intimate moments like this. I don't think I have any kind of definite preference when I think about it -rubs chin-

Plot or memes — Memes usually (or just throwing unprompted stuff in my inbox)! My attention span is absolutely terrible. I like plotting but I have a tendency to slowly lose interest if it goes on for a while as I like getting the barebones as to what we're going to do, have some discussion, then jumping straight into making a thread. Discussing things as we go along and have things already started is just more fascinating for me.

Long or short replies — I loooove long replies, but those tend to be done at a slower pace unless the muse is really gripping me by the throat. I remember the days when I wasn't working and I could get through like ten threads a day or something but thinking about that now has me like, "how did I even do this?" So a nice mixture of short and long is nice! That way I can pick and choose what I feel like replying to that day.

Best time to write — In the weeee hours of the night mainly -- and with music! ////

Are you like your muse — Not even remotely amg. Ozy's too much of everything. He's loud, he's arrogant, and his confidence levels are off the charts on a good day whereas I prefer to be left to my devices, avoiding conversation or faking it till I make it with people, and then dying when I get home because boy was that too much extroverted activity for me FKJSDFHKSDFDS

Tagged by: @lobiita (thank you turbo!)

Tagging: Take it!

[sunglassesmish]

I must be insane or really needing something to get me to next year but I bought a ticket too and I'm coming from the US. I've never been to a con before let alone one in another country. And I'm going alone so weeee

oh wow! i applaud your bravery honestly. i think it’s worth it for a cockles con that isn’t creation or jib! no pesky daniela’s.

[sentofight]

ooc. nehe~

because b.each e.pisode (now i have to censor that too..thanks p.orn b.logs;;)

if u ever felt like down because of your swimming outfit look please remember a.kihiko chose this because of 'speed'

ok dropping how some muses b.each look and stuff~

aki: as previous picture. SPEED! POWER! B/ANANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aldo: alde will probably ...not go for the beach because 'cat-like' but if he was to wear something to humor his friends hmm.. probably something like [this]; to cover his whole body. there is no canon look for him which is a surprise by now but hey he is the only protag in a mobile game so far who does not have million clothes. he got only one look XDD well, if u count IDA school outfit then...two...and like only his normal style and ascended style which is same look ...sigh...why are they stingy with my boy? HE IS THE PROTAGONIST PLEASE LEARN FROM GRAN/BLU AND GIVE HIM MANY MANY CUTE AND COOL OUTFITS AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

b.alan: nope. u can drag him to hell but not to the b.each. if he like magically was taken there he would most likely still be wearing his normal clothes or something like a legging, shorts, long shirt and a jacket. a hat for sure and sunglasses magically over his glasses XD

c.aleb: u know he gotta flex his abs and muscles. AVAIATION BOY NEEDS TO FLEX TO IMPRESS. the usual shorts with or without open shirt ~

d.ate: no beach for him. nope. i will talk about [him because all he wears is obnoxious and colorful if he was in his s.aito body but somewhat obnoxious and weird ass patters in his normal body]

e.dea: my guuurl!!! LOOK AT HER!!! PERCEIVE HER. BOOTIFUL. listen anything cute and with a bow is her go to. something that could accentuate her cuteness! coughboobacough.

e.dward: literally will sink if he goes into water but hey. i remember he had an official art back in 2003 but i cant find it but here is the mobile game look [this]

f.orte: MY KNIGHT! her official look is simple and cute ;u; edea and forte team simple bi.kini.s with bows~

f.rey: listen. at least there are no weird ass straps u know

g,aius: my dude be rocking the candy look~

k.ula: the kawaii overload look uwuuiwieuwsjks also chiro's art is canon for me. instantly adapting everything into my k.ula. bless her soul for the k.ula art (that is not loli or questionable) i had been denied for years.

k.yle: is grandpa... he will drink bear and nap there. he is def short and open shirt guy.

l.indow: OHONHONN THE SEGGSY MAN OF THE EAST DEN WMWHEHEHEHEHE i dont think he got a beach alt in any of the mobile games that came out or i could be mistaken SINCE MOST OF THEM ARE JP REGION LOCKED FLUCK! but same obnoxious date style of H//awaiian shirt and short. please dont let them meet!!!!!!!

l.issa: can't believe we dont have an official art for her but we got a cute maid one lmao feat. gr.ima and maribelle XDDD anyway cute style she is similar to ed.ea in style so weeee~

l.ucina: on that note the whole official art is [this] L.UCINA AND MARI ENJOYING THEIR TIME WHILE THE OTHERS ARE FIGHTING THIS ART IS SO FUNNY I OPEN IT FROM TIME TO TIME TO LAUGH.

as you can see we have a l.uci b.ikini look and in heroes we got another look and in cipher we got another. tbh if there is a beach episode it will be defaulted to her cipher look because i think it is the prettiest and closets to how i personally write her. though the other two can come up only for partners and the like.

l.yndis: ..........shes cruel.....

l/onqu: similar to g/aius' shorts but he wears open jacket/shirt or whatever. honestly it will be ...a miracle if he went to the beach. his gynophobia will kick in at full speed dlkfjs

m.ax: HE JUST FLEX HIS MUSCLES TO IMPRESS JUBELLIAN. SILLY CAT MAN.

r.aquel: mhmhmhm my sickly girl ;a; she will definitely join but not for too long ... so something is cute yet practical hmhmh maybe something like [this] perhaps she can tie something to her waist to make it longer and cover whenever she is not in the water hmhm

r.en: the chaotic amamiya. he might copy l.indow's style to piss him off that he can pull it better than him but he generally hoodie and short kind of style.

r.okurou: THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND. check him out!!!!!!!!!!!!

s.enel: isn't his outfit already a swimming one? ............ senny you water nerd. but look we got from mobile games

s.hutaro: HE AINT GOING TO THE BEACH BRO HE WILL DIE. HE WILL PERISH. HE WILL JUST POOF FROM EXISTANCE. HE IS A VAMPIRE BOY. but ..sobs.... like... he is the bermuda kind of young man with jacket because i feel like he was somewhat insecure about him not being that strong looking. even after becoming vampire boy he is like ;u;

s.yaoran: whatever kids wear man. most likely bermuda too and jacket.

t.iz: MY HOME BOY. listen. he does not think that much. anything will work. shorts and he will jump into the water (bumpkin boy like) but u know if he was given choice he might go for something like [this] or [this] similar.

t.ressa: oooh tessa!!!!! something cute and practical like r.aquel because i feel like she is the kind of ...on the job all the time XD she will find a way to profit here and there ehehehe [this] i see her one piece but then with enough encouragement she will try the two pieces. most likely only if she had someone in her life u know otherwise being practical wins.

v.ictor: oh sheet segggsyyyy dead daddy. ok. i feel like he is ...like this XDD sorry luci.fer stealing ur look

x.oaishi: DIVE BACK IN TIME~ T-T-TIME~ anyway CHECK HIM OUT! tots not matching with boyfo but lets pretend we dont see.

yoeng: listen... she does not mind showing off because she is not embarrassed or shy about her body!!!!!! she knows what works well with her body type and will pick something that accentuate that powerful look. expect her to pick one for friends outing and another one if a mission required her to be in one and this one will be super practical so she can hide knives and all sort of stuff she needs in a mission. friends outing will be something like [this] or similar // mission swimsuit like [this] / [this]

z.ack: ENTER THE AMAZING PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

f.eiruz: LISTEN. SHE IS A MODEST LADY. SHE WILL ONLY SHOW MOST PARTS ONLY FOR HER HUBBY OK? i tried to draw something over a body art (not mine).

e.inar: byakko's popsicle~ definitely something like this to cover his magitek arm. even though it looks like a normal arm, he needs to be careful still. ofc he prefers solid colors (only post game he will let u know he likes cat prints shhhhh)

no i didnt take the whole day to think of swimsuits...weh. probably not all my muses;;

[yes-i-have-thoughts]

Eye for an Eye and the World Goes Blind

Something inspired for the alt AU by @shmorp-mcdurgen that I didn’t have to piggyback off an anon for this time, wahoo!

Also first time writing for both Gabriel and Seth weeee

SUMMARY: Gabriel’s the first person to find out what really happened to the old lieutenant and live to tell the tale. They had help, of course...But from the last person they expected to help them.

TW: PANIC ATTACK, BLOOD, LOSS OF A LIMB, MENTIONS OF STARVING, BRIEF USE OF GUN, IMPLIED (BRIEF) DEATH

If this is what a panic attack felt like, they vowed to never again berate any officer having one in front of them.

Gabriel’s heart seemed to be pounding in their ears, matching along to the blood pumping from where their lower arm used to be. When their heart wasn’t deafening them, the alternate was; it was screaming about how sorry it was and how hungry it is and how it’s not its fault, how he did this to it, he was to blame when it “just wanted to help”. Who “he” was, Gabriel didn’t know and didn’t think they wanted to. Not when the pleading creature damn near killed them and ripped part of their fucking arm off.

And breathe. Despite how fucking hard it was to do that right now. Gabriel had to force themself to take deeper breaths than the shallow ones a panic attack caused, yet the alternate’s rambling would knock their concentration and start it up again.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I’m-so hungry-where did you go? Don’t leave me alone again, please, don’t leave me alone again...”

‘Just let me leave.’ Gabriel fought the urge to bite their lip until it bled as they shuffled away from their pathetic hiding spot behind a wall. ‘Please, lord, let me leave.’

The alternate’s own stumbling footsteps hid Gabriel’s as they went for the front door. They were convinced they were free and clear, leading to them picking up speed.

They hit a can with their foot.

Their blood ran cold as it noisily rolled across the tile floor of the house’s kitchen. For a moment, neither being made a sound; so Gabriel chanced taking another step foreword. The sound put the alternate in motion and Gabriel barely made it out of the room when they were flattened and struggling to keep teeth away from their neck with only one hand. The alternate’s speech was gibberish now, straight-up shrieking in Gabriel’s ears like an excited, starving dog. The lieutenant's hand shaking only made them more sure that they were seconds away from death. Part of them already threw in the towel and almost let their hand slip off the alternate’s teeth-

“HEY, UGLY!”

The alternate jerked away from Gabriel’s neck and looked up. The creature used Gabriel’s collarbone as a launching point, leaving them to curl up in pain for a moment as a dull crack came from whoever the alternate impacted with. 

Someone started nudging them to try and get their attention. “Get up,” they urged them, their voice low but shaky. “Come on! Blunt force trauma isn’t gonna keep him down forever, get up!”

Gabriel tried, to their credit. Apparently they weren’t fast enough for their rescuer, who pulled them the rest of the way to their feet by their shirt collar (ow) and shoved them towards the door. “Get out of here. I’m gonna give that guy someone in better shape to chase aft-oh, fuck.” Gabriel swayed on their feet when they turned around. A man they were somewhat familiar with by now stood with a shotgun in his hands, staring at where their arm now ended. The alternate behind him was now on its feet and crouched as if ready to lunge. Luckily for Seth, apparently he could read eye signals. He’d barely made eye contact with Gabriel for a minute before turning around and catching the alternate’s teeth with his gun. They got caught in a scuffle for a moment until Seth managed to wrench his gun away again and slam the business end of it into the alternate’s neck, making it stumble back and giving him enough time to grab Gabriel’s shoulder and practically drag them out the door.

“I need a hospital-”

“Later.” Seth practically threw them into the side of a white van, which they did not appreciate. “Get in.”

“I’m not bleeding to death in a shitty white van!”

“Would you rather bleed to death between the jaws of that animal?”

There was a loud crash, the sound of something throwing itself against a heavy wooden door. Gabriel’s blood- and saliva-covered hand slipped on the passenger-side door’s hand before they caught it and threw it open.

The van was in motion almost as soon as the door was closed again, flying out onto the road. Gabriel tried to gather their wits and ignore the steady bleeding from the stump, watching the world go by the window.

Seth was the first to break the silence. “Are you okay? Besides the obvious.”

“Oh, yeah, I just love bleeding all over a strange cunt’s van.”

“Having a sense of humour is a good sign.”

Gabriel chose to ignore that in favour of focusing on their stomach churning. “Where are we going.”

“Well the hospital is a good thirty minute drive away, but the apartment is less than five. Pick one.”

“Do you know how to stop a stump from bleeding out?”

“I’ve had practice.”

Gabriel glanced back at Seth. He didn’t return the favour.

‘Not going to ask about that.’

“How did you know someone was in there?”

“You’re talking pretty casually for someone who lost half his arm.”

“I’m trying to stay awake.” Gabriel shuddered when their voice hit a higher pitch. This isn’t good. “Either I keep talking or you drive to the hospital with a dead body.”

“You were screaming bloody murder. I didn’t-had I known specifically that it was you, I would have left you there.”

Seth cringed at his own words. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Would you have.”

“I...Don’t know.”

An awkward silence. The Christmas lights they occasionally drove by cast brief rainbows over the two and painted Gabriel’s bloodied stump in pretty colours.

They’re cold, tired and discombobulated. The van’s warm as Hell. Falling asleep now means death, but they were struggling to keep their eyes open.

“Gabriel.”

Seth’s eyebrow furrowed in confusion when he glanced at them. “My name,” they specified. “It’s Gabriel.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t know. In case you need to identify me, I guess.”

“That’s a comforting thing to think of.”

“I’m cold.”

Seth didn’t respond to that, though the van noticeably was picking up speed as Gabriel’s world faded despite their will to stay awake.

-

The last thing they expected was to wake up again, let alone on a ratty couch in a just as ratty apartment. Their brain felt too big for their head and the rest of their body felt like it was made of stuffing.

They tried putting a hand to their head, only to find their arm ended sooner than they remembered. Their brain pounded as they fought to knit together memories that seemed incredibly elusive. Almost the entire last evening was completely lost on them.

“Oh hey, you’re awake!”

Another person walking into their field of vision broke their concentration. He crouched down beside them, a respectable distance away, and gave them a small, worried smile. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“Yeah, he said that you would.” The stranger rubbed the back of his neck. “You uh-got really lucky.”

“Oh, is th’ bastard up?”

“Sarah!”

Another person walked over, this one a lot less respectful of Gabriel’s personal space. Her smile was also a lot less friendly. “Hi.”

The first person Gabriel had been speaking to yanked Sarah back by her shoulder and began scolding her, despite the fact she clearly wasn’t listening. Gabriel covered their eyes with their remaining arm and decided to try sleeping off their “I feel like a stuffed animal” feeling.

They can deal with their new surroundings later.