#William Osborne

[80smovies]

[antiqueanimals]

William Osborne, R.H.A. (1823-1901)

[redcarpet-streetstyle]

[adamwatchesmovies]

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

The way Sylvester Stallone ended up starring in Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is much more interesting than the film itself. In the ’90s, the kings of action blockbusters were Arnold Schwarzenegger and Stallone. After reading the script by Blake Snyder, William Osborne and William Davies, Schwarzenegger knew it was awful. Knowing his rival would jump on the project if he feigned interest, Schwarzenegger told the press he was “very interested”. In no time, Stallone underbid him and got the role. Later, he would go on to call it one of the worst of his career. That's funny. This movie is not.

Sergeant Joseph Andrew Bomowski (Sylvester Stallone) dreads the upcoming visit from his mother, Tutti (Estelle Getty). When she attempts to illegally buy him a firearm, she witnesses a murder. Now the two must work together to determine who is selling high-powered weapons on the black market.

This movie (and the similarly awful Cop and a Half) is the ultimate bad buddy cop “one’s a” movie. We’ve seen movies where one’s a white cop and one’s a black cop, where one’s a man and one’s a woman, where one’s a young guy and one’s an old veteran, and so on. When they’re good, they deliver a compelling police action film and memorable bits of comedy that take advantage of the differences between the leads. When they're bad, you get this.

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot was sold on the gimmick alone - they certainly didn’t have a stack of amusing scenarios in mind. There’s maybe a single joke that lands. The rest is painfully unfunny and unoriginal. It isn’t even a movie about a cop being paired up with an old lady; it’s a cop paired up with his overbearing, irritating mother. You know the kind. We're talking about a woman who sees a perfectly clean room and decides it’s filthy but then goes on to destroy prized possessions in her attempts to make everything “spotless”. All this at 3 in the morning because common sense is something that escapes her.

I understand the movie is a comedy but even so, its characters are just way too dumb. Sure the movie “had to happen” but you never believe this scenario would play out the way it would. Every attempt at hilarity just makes the film longer and fills you with resentment. You look at Stallone’s face and you can tell he knew exactly how bad a movie this was. He puts no effort into the role. Even Estelle Getty isn’t particularly good and she should be the star of the show!

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot feels like an episode of a TV show that would've been canceled after 15 minutes stretched out to an hour and a half. At most, This should’ve been a short skit parodying buddy cop movies. Maybe this began as a joke someone took too seriously or director Roger Spottiswoode had a vision that got lost on the way to the screen. Regardless, you’re sitting there, powerless to do anything about the barrage of anti-fun coming your way. You accept it’s going to be bad within the first few minutes. You hope you can somehow acclimate yourself to the level of dimwitted writing and just when you're about to, Stallone delivers a title drop that lands like a blue whale on an inflatable pool. It just drains away all of your remaining will to live. This was made in 1992? Good gracious. (On VHS, June 14, 2019)

[j-nightingalesb1tch]

rip men who should've been bisexual you would've loved pride month

[purty-pumpkin]

What a brat 🙄🙄🙄

[didanagy]

VANITY FAIR (2004)

dir. mira nair

[paracunt]

Paramore perform at the Kia Forum (Night One) in Los Angeles, California (2023) by Ashley Osborn for Kia Forum

[iamnotathornbird]

(Essential meaning "pertaining to or constituting the essence of a thing," so it doesn't have to be your favorite season. Please reblog.)

[ohyoubuggin]

Spiderman Movie Premiere 2002

[axeylotl]

middle aged man who owns a technology-focused business and uses the resources from this business to cosplay as his OC and murder people, and has a son that is completely mentally fucked up and constantly dealing with the fallout of the father's actions after the father dies to his target(s) while in-costume

crossover for exactly zero people because as far as I can tell I'm the only overlap between these fandoms

[80smovies]

[starryoak]

Apparently we’re going to be seeing more of Hobie’s universe and I am SO pumped about that because I have so many questions about how they’ll change it from the official comics, because a lot of Hobie’s universe is so intrinsically American that I can’t wait to see how it changes.

See, Spider-Punk’s universe is one where Norman Osborn became president by either creating artificial copies of or allying with Symbiotes (like Venom), dubbing them Variable Engagement Neuro-sensitive Organic Mesh, or V.E.N.O.M, both bonding with them himself and distributing them to cops and law enforcement everywhere to create super soldiers who could, and in his own words, “Make America Great Again.” His introductory comic depicts this in four pages (one of them a two page spread) where it shows Hobie and his band leading a riot against a wave of cop-Symbiotes called the Thunderbolt Department and using 5,000 watts worth of amps blasting punk music to vaporize the Symbiotes (being weak to loud noises), then personally bashing Norman Osborn’s skull in with his guitar.

Obviously while cops are fucking fascists everywhere, the symbolism of “Make America Great Again” is, well, quintessentially American, so I think it’s pretty clear some of the rhetoric will change, and I really can’t wait to see how it will, honestly. As well, when Hobie says “I hate the PM”, he can be seen tearing a poster of not Norman Osborn, but Kingpin, indicating that he likely is this universe’s equivalent to President Osborn.

As well, his teammates/the Spider-Band are also worth examining, and I really, really can’t wait to see what’s done with them, especially Karl Morningdew.

Karl Morningdew, AKA Captain Anarchy, is obviously intrinsically connected to Captain America, as his universe’s equivalent, but also because he’s Native American, specifically named as the Sentinel of the Cowlitz People. He’s got a not-a-superhero boyfriend named Rick, but that’s not important to this conversation. He’s obviously pretty tied to America, not just in his being very obviously a variant of Captain America with the same powers, but also because his people have lived in America before there was an America to live in, and their oppression by the American government is inextricable to his character. So how they will, or, I suppose, if they will, translate Karl into a British setting is obviously a big question! While not as intrinsically tied to an American identity, he has other teammates who are variants of other Marvel universe characters; Riri Williams, AKA Ironheart, is known as Riotheart in this universe, Mattea Murdock, AKA the Daredevil Drummer of Philly, a counterpart to Daredevil, Kamala Khan, who seems to be pretty much the same + brass knuckles, (will she have her powers changed to fit the new Ms. Marvel show?), and Robert “Robbie” Bruce Banner, a reluctant member of the team who doesn’t actually really want to be there, having tried to give up on that part of his life.

I really, really hope these guys show up, I want to see how they translate these very American characters into the UK, and I think, frankly, they’re really cool and fun!

[redcarpet-streetstyle]

[biptari]

watched the fnaf movie and had a brain blast

[nymoshopper]

I NEEDED TO DO THIS AKAKKAKAKAKAK