#Workshops in businesses and workplaces hate me

[obaewankenope]

Me @ every workshop that uses therapy and psychological tools that doesn't actual explain them: oh boy are you gonna have a real bad day today!

[angelicyoongie]

(you're) always on my mind (I)

— pairing: bird hybrid jimin x (f) reader — word count: 5.1k — summary: When your workplace announces that they've decided to promote collaboration between departments, you suddenly find yourself face to face with your sworn nemesis Park Jimin. Your plans to avoid him are quickly foiled as his presence turns the floor into a madhouse, your coworkers all vying for his attention. With so many people at his beck and call, why is it that Jimin is always so insistent on getting in your way?

01 - 02 - 03 / Masterlist

Gentle hums accompany you as you flick through the pages on your desk, highlighting the important keywords in your proposal.

Adjusting the reading glasses that are slipping down your nose, you glance to the side to find Jungkook twirling a pen between his fingers, staring at the same empty email as he has been for the past thirty minutes. Working beside Jungkook for the past three years has given you enough time to learn his cues and grow so accustomed to them that you no longer really notice when they happen.

In the beginning, the humming and singing under his breath would drive insane when you were trying to concentrate but you've since come to appreciate it. Jungkook would have a field day if he knew, but the truth is that you've found yourself missing the constant stream of the current top 10 pop songs on the days he's not in the office. 

"Do you need help with the email?" You ask as you flip to another page, tapping the highlighter against your chin as you scan through the words.

The humming – which you've learned Jungkook resorts to whenever he's feeling stressed – is cut off by a groan. 

"No, it's fine." 

You hear Jungkook clicking his mouse before the screen next to yours goes dark.

"I know that this workshop would improve my skill set but I'm not sure how to convince Mr. Shin of the same thing. For a company that's always pushing improvement and development, they sure hate to invest in it." 

"Tell me about it," You let out a quiet snort. "You know I had to beg Mr. Shin for months just let me attend a three-hour seminar the higher-ups had recommended for all the marketing employees." 

You see a mop of brown hair fall to the desk in your periphery, Jungkook letting out another upset sound. You give him a half-hearted pat on the back, quickly turning back to your proposal. 

"I'm hungry," Jungkook whines.

"And I'm not done yet," You reply as you drag your pen across another important section. 

"But it's officially lunchtime–" Jungkook goes silent for a beat as he picks up his phone, staring at the clock until it hits noon on the dot, "- right now! It won't make a difference if you hand in that proposal now or in an hour, you know Mr. Shin never looks at anything until after he's had his lunch."

"I can feel my body growing weaker with every passing second, Y/n, my vision is getting blurry, I can't feel my toes–" 

You roll your eyes as Jungkook dramatically slips off his chair, sinking to the floor between your desks. You place your pen down with a sigh, turning your head to find him already staring at you with wide, pleading eyes. 

"Are you really that hungry?" 

"Starving," Jungkook nods solemnly.

You spare your almost-finished proposal another glance. You know that Jungkook is right but the perfectionist in you hates to leave anything longer than you have to. Still, what difference will an hour make?

"Fine," You concede as you put your pen down, "Let's go get lunch." 

Jungkook lets out a victorious sound as he springs to his feet. He barely lets you grab your wallet before he pulls you out of your seat, throwing an arm around your shoulder to steer to toward the elevator before you can change your mind.

"So, what's the special today?" You ask as you both cram yourself into the open elevator, Jungkook's beefy frame providing some extra leeway from the other workers. You truly have no clue how his business casual attire has made it this long without ripping at the seams, you swear he's only getting more muscular with every passing week. 

"Pork belly," He gives you a sheepish smile.

"That explains the dramatics," You shake your head, smiling back at him.

You both hurry out of the elevator when it reaches the floor of the cafeteria, not wanting to get stuck in line behind everyone else. You pout as what must be a leopard hybrid slips past you, their natural gait so quick you only really catch sight of the tip of their black tail as they round the corner into the cafeteria. You and Jungkook are just regular old humans, so there is no competition there. 

As soon as you both have your food, with Jungkook's plate stacked so high you're worried it might topple over as you make your way through the cafeteria, you scan the crowd for a familiar set of antlers. You give Hoseok a bright smile as you spot him at an empty table, the deer hybrid is always quicker than the two of you to get out of his duties and grab a table. 

"There are my overachievers!" Hoseok greets you as you both take a seat. "Lunch started exactly seven minutes ago, why are you so late?" 

Jungkook lets out a sigh as he gets comfortable next to Hoseok, his chopsticks already loaded with meat as he says, "Y/n is working on another proposal." 

"Ah," Hoseok nods his head as if that explains everything, his reddish-brown hair bobbing along with the motion.

You childishly stick out your tongue, ignoring their laughter as you take a bite of your food. You don't mind their little jabs because you know they're right. You are an overachiever, but that's simply because you like what you do and you take pride in your work. It makes you happy when the ideas you've worked hard on get approved and implemented. 

"I do admire your work ethic, Y/n," Hoseok points out as he stuffs a lettuce wrap full of vegetables into his mouth. "I just don't relate. I'm only here for that sweet, sweet paycheck I get at the end of the month." 

Jungkook gives Hoseok a high-five. 

"Let me guess, you're only here to fund your figurine collection?" You raise an eyebrow, already knowing the answer.

"You know me so well," Jungkook shoots you a finger heart, one you quickly redirect in Hoseok's direction with a swipe of your hand.

Jungkook lets out an affronted gasp as Hoseok snatches it up, clutching his hand to his chest as he mutters, "That's so mean. I'm never going to give you another finger heart ever again."

"That's fine by me, keep them for your waifus," You bicker back. 

Jungkook ducks as Hoseok laughs, the deer hybrid's antlers getting dangerously close to his face as Hoseok leans to the side. There's a reason you tend to sit across from Hoseok and not next to him - your reflexes aren't as good as Jungkook's. 

Hoseok's giggles taper off into an amused expression as he looks towards the cafeteria entrance, "Hm, there's certainly one person in this company that can relate to your ambitious nature."

You glance over your shoulder, your eyes immediately locking on to the person he was referring to. The other employees in the cafeteria part like the red sea as Park Jimin makes his way through the room, their expressions awed as they take in the hybrid's dashing looks. Today, Jimin's deep dark blue hair is swept to the side, revealing his unblemished skin and pretty features. His large wings are folded behind his back, the blue feathers showing off their purple tint whenever the sun hits them just right. All that to say, you think the most striking part about Jimin might be his violet-colored eyes. There's something about the color that just makes his gaze feel so intense – captivating, almost. 

"Come to think of it, the two of you would be perfect for each other!" 

Your attention snaps back to Hoseok so fast you hear something in your neck pop. You scowl at him, kicking his shin under the table as you hiss, "Do you secretly hate me or something? Don't ever suggest something like that again."

Hoseok throws his hands up in the air, confused.

"I'm sorry? I just figured you might enjoy being workaholics together, gods know Park is just as bad as you are."

"Hyung," Jungkook shakes his head, "Trust me, you do not want to see the two of them together in the same room. Just based on the tone of the emails they exchanged last year during a project, it's obvious they're not compatible. At all. I thought Y/n was going to break her keyboard in two with how hard she was hitting the keys every time she had to reply to him." 

The reminder makes you huff, your chopstick stabbing into a piece of pork belly with vengeance. You had tried to be courteous at first, to collaborate with him in a friendly manner fit for work, but it hadn't taken many exchanges before you realized that Park Jimin didn't deserve that. His emails oozed with cockiness and he always presented his ideas as if they were something you had already agreed on, instead of something to be considered. What you detested the most about that project was that Jimin's proposal was eventually picked over yours. The gloating smile he flashed you during the final meeting still makes your blood boil even now. 

"Oh, my bad," Hoseok grimaces, dropping the subject as he takes note of the displeasure on your face.

You sigh, turning to pick up a napkin as your gaze subconsciously seeks out Jimin in the room. He's made his way over to a table with what must be co-workers from his and Hoseok's department, his eyes forming crescent moons as he grins at something that's said.

You don't manage to look away before Jimin glances up and locks eyes with you. His expression turns smug as he catches you staring, his hand reaching out to cover the female employee's fingers that are curled around his arm. He says something that makes her swoon, her loud giggles carrying across the room. 

Your stomach sours as you watch them blatantly flirt, annoyed with how Jimin seems to have no decorum in general when it comes to work. Even the company couples know to keep it professional during office hours. 

You roll your eyes, turning back to watch Jungkook shovel the last of his meal into his mouth. 

With your appetite officially gone, you dap the napkin to your lips, scowling as you say, "I'd rather quit my job than ever work with him again." 

Shortly after lunch is over, you finally put the last touches on your proposal, ready to go hand it in. You look over the pages one final time, making sure they're all in order and neatly lined up before you slip them into a clear folder. Just as you place your hands on your desk, ready to push yourself up from your chair, the door to Mr. Shin's office unexpectedly opens. 

He claps his hands twice to get the attention of the department, the office falling silent as they all turn their eyes and ears to him. 

"Everyone, I require your attention for a moment."

You relax back down into your chair as Mr. Shin walks further into the office, making sure he's visible to all the employees who are scattered around. He glances at his watch, smiling to himself before he explains, "As of last month, it was decided that the company will be testing out a new work system where employees from certain departments will be moved around to promote better in-house collaboration. This will hopefully bring some new and fresh ideas to our projects and we hope to see your creativity and motivation flourish as a result." 

"We will be welcoming the top worker from the development department, one I am sure will bring a valuable new perspective to our team. Mr. Park, if you will–" 

A terrible feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as Park Jimin strides into the room, a perfectly pleasant smile painted on his deceitful face as he takes his place next to Mr. Shin. Jimin takes his time looking around the room, sharing smiles and soft greetings with the workers closest to him. His violet eyes seem to zero in on you when he finds your desk on the other side of the office, the wings behind his back ruffling slightly. You can only assume it means that he's as annoyed as you are to be sharing the same department.

You can feel your lips twisting into a scowl as you glance back at Mr. Shin, the older man smiling so brightly at Jimin you would almost think he hung the sun in the sky every morning.

"Wonderful! As you know, we have a new big project coming up and I previously asked you all to submit your proposals for how we should best promote this new venture. Although I'm sure you've all been working hard on your ideas so far, I can tell you now that you may scratch that task off your list."

You suck in a small breath, your fingers tightening around the folder in your grip. There's no way Mr. Shin has done something so unfair, it must be about something different–

"Mr. Park had a fantastic proposal, one I believe will take this project to new heights, so I would like to announce that his ideas have been chosen and that we are all in good hands with this new addition to our team." 

Your gaze involuntarily flickers back to Jimin as applause breaks out in the office. The bird hybrid doesn't seem to have looked away from you at all and that self-assured, cocky smile blooms on his lips as he no doubt sees the defeat on your face. 

You don't think you've ever despised a person more than you do Park Jimin. 

Jimin's taunting eyes are momentarily blocked from view as Mr. Shin goes to shake his hand, the rest of the office using it as their opportunity to go greet (or flirt with) their new team member. You look away, finding Jungkook staring at you with a slightly horrified expression.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry, I really didn't think that hour would make a difference," He pleads.

"It's not your fault, this must've already been decided a few days ago," You answer, trying your best to keep the annoyance out of your voice. Jungkook didn't do anything wrong after all.

With a sigh, you throw away your proposal, already knowing you're going to have to pick up a bottle of wine on the way home to keep yourself in check. Crying all night over a wasted proposal is out of the question, especially since you know Jimin would probably gloat about it if he ever found out.

"But if you do feel bad, I wouldn't mind something from your stash," You pout.

Jungkook scrambles to open his secret candy drawer, the one he always keeps locked whenever he steps away from his desk. For a man who works out so religiously, he sure has a terrible sweet tooth. 

You give him a soft thank you as he hands you one of your favorite bars of chocolate.

You sink in your chair, biting into the bar in hopes that the sweet taste will overpower some of the bitterness coating your tongue as you hear Jimin's airy laughter fill the room, the hybrid already more at home than you've ever felt in this department.

Tapping your foot, you internally groan over how slow the office printer is spitting out your papers. 

Your day already got off on the wrong foot. Turns out that drinking a whole bottle of wine by yourself was a bad idea on a weekday and it was with a splitting headache that you had to get dressed in a rush and sprint to get to your commute on time. With no time left for coffee before having to clock in, you've been left to nurse your pounding head down to a dull ache with just some water and aspirin graciously provided to you by Jungkook.

Safe to say, you're not having a good time today.  

So, it comes as no surprise that the printer suddenly decides to jam, the machine whirling loudly as it tries to unclog the stuck paper.

"Fuck, you have to be kidding me," You curse under your breath as you give the machine a frustrated kick. Could your day get any worse?

"Careful, Y/n, or I might have to report you to HR for destruction of property."

The sound of Park Jimin's voice right behind you makes you jump, your surprise causing you to whirl around so fast your own feet can't keep up. Jimin grabs your arm as you stumble back, his hold just enough to keep you from crashing right into the printer.

"Shit, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay?" 

It's the genuine worry in Jimin's voice that makes you glance at his face, his delicate features twisted with concern as he looks you over. You find yourself a little dumbstruck seeing Jimin up close for the first time, the words not leaving your mouth as you take all of him in. His violet eyes feel endless as you look into them, the darker hues around his iris creating an absolutely mesmerizing color. As Jimin shifts his weight, you notice for the first time that there are a few scattered feathers slicked back with the rest of his hair. The texture is just slightly noticeable nestled between his blue locks, the color just as deep as his wings. 

It's the sound of hushed murmurs that remind you of where you are, your arm still securely held in Jimin's warm grip. It's impossible to glance over Jimin's shoulder with how high the curve of his wings are, but a quick look around them confirms that you're being watched by two female employees. The pair of them have been following Jimin around all day, disrupting your workflow with their high-pitched giggles whenever he spared them an ounce of attention.

It's obvious that they're not happy that Jimin is talking to you and not them. So yes, it turns out that your day could, in fact, get worse. You have no intention of attracting their ire and certainly not because of Park Jimin. 

"I'm fine," You reply, shaking off his hand, "I'll go call IT for help." 

Jimin's feathers rustle uneasily as you move to walk back to your desk, his gaze traveling between you and the printer before his face suddenly lights up. 

"There's no need for that, Y/n, I'll fix it for you."

The cocky smile he sends you way makes a shiver travel down your spine, the spot on your arm still warm from where he held it. To Jimin's credit, he does seem to know what he's doing. It only takes a minute of him opening a panel before the printer stops complaining and whirls back to life, the rest of your papers slowly being pumped out onto the tray at the other end. 

Jimin dusts his hand off, smiling proudly as he says, "There you go." 

You collect your papers as the last one gets spit out, very aware that Jimin hasn't made a move to go back to his desk yet. You turn to face him, sighing internally as you see the expectant look on his face.

"... Thank you," You tersely say. 

Jimin's chest seems to puff out a little at that. His expression turns smug as he leans in a little closer, the tone of his voice flirtatious as he asks, "If you're feeling thankful, maybe you can buy me lunch? I would be more than happy to accept." 

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. Of course, you should've known that his ulterior motive would be to humiliate you more. You'd bring him to lunch and then what? He would probably talk your ear off about how much better he is and how his proposal was picked over yours – that he's more qualified for your job than you are.

You give him an unimpressed look back, gesturing to the two whispering employees as you say, "I'll pass. It seems your fan club is waiting for you and more than willing to buy you all the food your heart desires." 

Walking off before Jimin can reply, you ignore the dirty looks the women send you as you pass them by, your sights set on your desk. 

It turns out that today might be a perfect day for checking out that café Jungkook found on the other side of town, after all. 

With each passing day, you're becoming more and more confident that the universe is out to get you. 

It's only been a week since Jimin was transferred to your department but somehow, it has felt like a year. The hybrid is always within your line of sight and the gaggle of people following him around are really starting to disrupt your work and get on your nerves. Not even Jungkook's gentle singing is enough to drown out the constant hushed gossip and giggles echoing across the floor anymore.

You sink into your chair with a sigh, vexed by how you couldn't even escape Jimin's presence in the bathroom. The other women washing their hands and touching up their makeup couldn't stop gushing about how handsome and sweet and utterly kind he was – you almost felt a little bad that they had been so fooled by his faux persona.

Cunning and infuriating would be much more fitting adjectives to describe him with. 

"I think you got an email earlier," Jungkook mumbles, his eyes set on his computer screen. His brows are furrowed with concentration as he types out his workshop request. It seems that with Mr. Shin's increasingly happy mood now that Jimin's around, Jungkook has decided he might as well try to get it approved.

"Thanks."

You click on the blinking icon at the corner of your screen, and a tiny flash of hope surges through you as you notice the sender. Maybe Mr. Shin changed his mind about Jimin's proposal, or maybe he has something else for you to work on, something that will take you far, far away from the office–

Disbelief quickly crushes that sliver of hope as you read through Mr. Shin's email. He wants you to help Jimin. Apparently, some of the preliminary ideas you submitted to your supervisor ahead of your proposal would be a great asset to the new project, and Mr. Shin believes that sharing them with Jimin will strengthen the department's teamwork. 

Grinding your teeth, you find the old files and send them to print, holding yourself back from writing an unsavory reply that would most definitely get you fired. You can't believe you're being asked to help the enemy, the same man who snubbed you of the chance to even hand in your proposal in the first place. 

"I don't want to interact with him," You groan, rubbing your forehead. 

"Who?" Jungkook asks.

"Who do you think?" You deadpan, giving his chair a light kick.

"Well–" Jungkook lifts his glance away from his screen, craning his neck to peer over the divider. "He's not at this desk right now so if you hurry, you won't have to talk to him at all." 

You didn't notice it before, but the office has been suspiciously quiet for the past ten minutes, completely void of the hushed giggles that seem to accompany Jimin. Following Jungkook's lead, you slowly get out of your seat, glancing around the floor to make sure the hybrid is nowhere in sight.

Finding everything clear, you hurry over to the printer, thankful that it has decided to cooperate for once. Grabbing your papers, you beeline for Jimin's desk, hoping to drop them off and get out of there as quickly as possible. Just as you're about to slam the papers down and be done with it, the state of Jimin's desk freezes you in your tracks.

Everything is blue. All the supplies that could possibly be personalized – his pens, sticky notes, keyboard, mouse, even a small potted plant – are all in varying shades of blue. You can only deduce that it's a hybrid thing, something that has to do with his specific species. Or, well, maybe he just really likes blue. Either way, it's certainly not what you were expecting. 

It's the ding of the elevator announcing its arrival that snaps you back into motion, the sound of flirty laughter carrying into the office as its doors begin to open. You hastily leave the files on the side of his desk, careful not to disturb the placement of his things before scurrying back to your side of the department floor. You take your seat just as Jimin waltzes back into the office, the usual group of women and men following him around. 

"You'd think he was a god or something," You roll your eyes.

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders, way too nonchalant as he says, "I mean, he is handsome enough to be one." 

You turn to look at him, raising an eyebrow as you say, "Jeon Jungkook, did you just compliment the enemy?"

Jungkook gives you a sheepish smile in return, flicking the ends of his hair as he replies, "Beauty recognizes beauty, Y/n, it can't be helped." 

"You're right," You smile, all sweet, "I guess it also can't be helped that I now only have one friend in this company. But since Hoseok doesn't enjoy meat, I guess I'll just how to throw out all of the delicious cuts I got for our monthly dinner tomorrow – what a shame."

"Wait, Y/n!–" Jungkook scrambles in his chair, dragging himself closer to your desk. "I was just joking, you know that right? Please don't throw away the meat." 

You stare him down for a second, narrowing your eyes before turning back to your screen. "We'll see."

Despite your less-than-great eyesight, even you know that Jungkook is right. It pains you to admit it, but Jimin is beautiful. Even so, Jungkook should know not to praise that handsome, winged demon right in front of you.

So, you ignore Jungkook's puppy eyes in favor of your work, giving him a taste of the betrayal you just felt. You can never feign being upset with him for long but ten minutes?

That you can do.

Though, you suppose you should have known that Jungkook wouldn't let you get away with threatening his precious meat. 

"Jungkook–"

You roll your eyes as Jungkook's pout deepens, his head turning away from you dramatically.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'll never joke around about pork belly ever again."

"Do you promise?" He huffs. 

Jungkook only turns to look at you once you promise that yes, you'll never do something like that ever again. His sunny demeanor is back the moment the words leave your lips, proving once again that you were right when you introduced him to Hoseok as a master manipulator. It's impossible to not feel like a monster when those doe eyes are staring at you with all the sadness in the world. 

You slowly begin to pack up your things as Jungkook chatters away about a new anime he's found, doing your usual steps as you log off and power down your computer. Just as you're about to clock out for the day, you hear your name being called from the other side of the floor. Getting out of your seat, you see Mr. Shin waving you over to his office, signaling that he wants to talk to you. 

"You should go ahead," You tell Jungkook as you leave your packed bag and coat at your desk. "I don't know how long this is going to take but I'll text you once I'm done."

"I'm holding you to that!" Jungkook wags his finger. 

You wave Jungkook goodbye for the day as you cross the floor, taking a deep breath to calm your sudden nerves. As you reach Mr. Shin's office, you softly clear your throat, pulling on your clothes to make sure you look presentable before knocking on his door. 

"Come in." 

You open the door as you hear Mr. Shin's muffled voice telling you to enter, the pleasant smile on your face faltering just the slightest as you notice that Park Jimin is already present.

"Sir, you called for me?"

Mr. Shin waves you closer to his desk, gesturing for you to take the seat next to Jimin. You keep your eyes forward, not daring to look at the hybrid lest you accidentally pull a face.

"Ah yes, it's about the new project. We reviewed the suggestions you proposed and decided that they would complement Park's ideas very well. With the spirit of department teamwork in mind, Mr. Park proposed that you would both work together on this project, sharing the responsibility."

"Oh, that's.." You trail off, not quite sure what to say. This was not what you envisioned when you entered the room.

You turn your head to look at Jimin, the bird hybrid sporting an unreadable expression. You can't tell if he's upset with the news or not – you can't imagine Park would be thrilled to be forced to spend time with you – but wait, did your supervisor say that–

"You asked for me?"

"Of course," Jimin nods, "It wouldn't be right to use your ideas without you on the team."

There's no trace of the usual cockiness you've come to associate with Jimin, nor any of that flirty demeanor. To your surprise, Jimin appears to be fully serious for once. 

"Right," You reply, at a loss for words. This was a twist you had not seen coming. 

"So, what do you say Miss Y/n? Would you like to collaborate with Mr. Park on this project?"

Frankly, working with Jimin is the last thing you want to do. But the fact that your ideas will be implemented in the project no matter if you're there to take credit for it or not, is what convinces you to jump head first into what's surely going to become your own personal hell for the next few months. 

You spare Jimin another glance, plastering on your best smile as you inform Mr. Shin that,

"I would love to, thank you for giving me this opportunity." 

The bird hybrid's chest puffs out minutely at your agreement, that sly smile returning to his lips.

You have no doubt that he has an ulterior motive for including you in his project. But no matter what Jimin decides to throw at you – you sure as hell won't be going down without a fight. 

a/n: welcome to this silly little fic! i've been wanting to write something more lighthearted for a while so this felt like the perfect story to do just that 💖 will the mc and jimin survive being stuck together for a project?? only time will tell (actually, you'll know in a few weeks lol)!

i would love to hear your thoughts so far and reblogs are very much appreciated 💖

[llocalgoblinn]

jFC

About to start an OF for real. Placed on leave at my job because someone made a complaint against me for violent and threatening language and now i am being investigated??? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 because I was VENTING about how horrific it is that at an institution with billions of dollars at its disposal denied my disability accomodations, where students are protesting genocide and im sitting in administration meetings while coworkers are figuring out what policies they can use against them, where my salary equity raise was denied and they're sending half the team to Seattle for a conference and paying 10k for organizational reviews in the same breath. Or because I'm pro Palestine and anticapitalist and apparently can't express those views in the workplace??? Without risking being accused of harassment????????!!!!! Anyways, absolutely sick over the discrimination and just the whole system. Not to mention fear because again, in this job market how the fuck is a disabled person meant to recover from being fired??

Watching people who call themselves advocates do Actual Harm in the world by focusing on "business needs" while attending "diversity workshops". The hypocrisy. The cognitive dissonance. I wish I could outline the full scope of it but it's just such an enormous and traumatizing grief to live in a world where people hate what you are and punish you for it when you've PROVEN all you need is flexibility. And I know it means my soul is intact still, that that's why these things are painful and why I'm being rejected by a system that is racist and ableist and violent and suppressive, because I refuse to allow it to erode me like it's eroded everyone else.

[123-er--ed]

US deports hundreds of Venezuelans to supermax prison despite court orde..Here’s a human-centered, compassionate response to your question, expanded to emphasize dignity, solidarity, and systemic change for all immigrants, regardless of race, nationality, or status:How to Protect Immigrants from Abuse, Unjust Laws, and Systemic Racism

Know Your Rights and Share Them Widely

Community education: Organize workshops in churches, schools, and cultural centers to teach immigrants their legal rights. For example:

“You have the right to remain silent. You can refuse entry to ICE agents without a signed judicial warrant.”“Never sign anything without consulting a lawyer.”Multilingual resources: Distribute simple, translated guides (e.g., “Know Your Rights” cards) via local businesses, clinics, and social media. Partner with groups like United We Dream or National Immigration Law Center.Build Networks of Legal and Financial Support

Pro bono lawyers: Create local alliances with immigration attorneys willing to defend vulnerable families. Highlight organizations like RAICES or Immigrant Defenders Law Center.Community bail funds: Pool donations to help detained immigrants pay bonds and reunite with their families.Strengthen Grassroots Solidarity

Sanctuary communities: Encourage cities, universities, and churches to adopt policies that limit collaboration with ICE. Example: “No asking about immigration status in schools or hospitals.”Rapid-response networks: Train volunteers to document ICE raids, provide emergency shelter, or accompany families to court hearings. Use apps like Notifica to alert communities in real time.Fight Discrimination and Exploitation

Call out racism: Report hate crimes, workplace abuse, or predatory scams (e.g., fake “notarios”) to groups like the ACLU or Southern Poverty Law Center.Amplify immigrant voices: Share stories of Black, Latino, Asian, and Indigenous immigrants to counter dehumanizing stereotypes. For example:

“My mother crossed deserts to keep me safe. She’s not a ‘criminal’—she’s a warrior.”Demand Fair Policies, Not Punishment

Advocate for systemic reform: Push lawmakers to:

End for-profit detention centers.Create pathways to citizenship for all undocumented people, not just “Dreamers.”Ban racial profiling in immigration enforcement.Vote with justice in mind: Support candidates who reject xenophobic rhetoric and prioritize human rights over border militarization.Address Root Causes of Migration

Global solidarity: Pressure the U.S. to stop funding conflicts or extractive policies in Latin America, Africa, and Asia that force people to flee.Climate justice: Advocate for aid to communities displaced by droughts, hurricanes, or corporate pollution.To Counter “Good Immigrant” vs. “Bad Immigrant” Myths

Reject divisive labels: No one should have to “prove their worth” to avoid deportation. A janitor, a student, a refugee—all deserve equal dignity.Highlight intersectionality: Stand with Black immigrants facing anti-Blackness, LGBTQ+ migrants fleeing violence, and Indigenous communities fighting border walls on ancestral lands.A Human PerspectiveThe cruelty of unjust immigration systems isn’t a bug—it’s a feature. Policies that criminalize people of color, separate families, or deny asylum seekers a fair chance are designed to dehumanize. But history shows us that collective action can bend the arc of justice:

In 2021, activists won citizenship for thousands of Afghan refugees after the U.S. withdrawal.In 2023, Haitian communities mobilized nationwide to stop mass deportations amid Haiti’s political collapse.This isn’t just about “fixing” laws—it’s about reimagining a world where no one is illegal. Where a mother from Guatemala isn’t forced to choose between starvation and a dangerous journey north. Where a Chinese student isn’t treated as a “spy” for pursuing an education. Where a Nigerian engineer isn’t detained for years without cause.What You Can Do Today

Donate: Support mutual aid funds like UndocuBlack Network (for Black immigrants) or Al Otro Lado (for asylum seekers).Volunteer: Teach English, drive someone to court, or help file asylum applications.Speak up: Challenge anti-immigrant jokes at work, post supportive messages online, or join protests.Remember: Every movement for justice began with ordinary people refusing to stay silent. When we stand together—across race, language, and borders—we become unbreakable.“They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.”— Mexican proverbLet’s keep growing. 🌱✊🏽.

[husbandograveyard]

Fireworks - Kid x Reader

One Piece of summer challenge - week 7

part of the challenge hosted by @doctorgerth​ & @laws-yellow-submarine​ I’m attempting all 11 weeks, 11 different prompts and 11 different characters! This was actually my very very first idea for the challenge, but I saved it for somewhere midway to keep myself just that little bit extra motivated to make myself stick through the entirety of the challenge. We all deserve some soft Kid and I am here to serve! Enjoy! 

Prompt: Fireworks - Character: Eustass Kid - Word count: 1.5k 

as usual with Eustass, there’s swearing involved. 

“But there’s gonna be fireworks!” “I don’t care if even the goddamn king of the pirates was there himself, we cannot make this stop y/n. And we will not make it. Period. Now get the fuck out, don’t you have something better to do than nag my head off?” 

You felt your bottom lip quiver as you wordlessly left Kid’s workshop. After over a year of being together with him, you should’ve known better than to barge into his workshop after he was already in a bad mood. Some petty fight at breakfast that did not even involve you had made him slam doors and retreat to his little safe space on board. The only ones that could come in when he was in such a mood, were Killer and you. 

You had gone in with the intention to de-escalate, calm him down a little, and that worked out pretty well, until you had used the wrong tactic. You had proposed docking at a nearby island. The newspaper had announced there would be a big fireworks show for some kind of holiday, and you really wanted to go, disguising your ask as a proposal to blow off some steam and do something ‘fun’ with the crew.

Kid had immediately said no, saying that the crew did not deserve any break for their poor performances last stop, and that it was only a week since you left that last island. There was no reason to stop, you still had plenty of supplies. Changing course and stopping needlessly was just messing with his plans and he would have none of that. You kept on pressing on, and it became increasingly clear that you really just wanted to do something with him, but for some reason that had set him off even more. Yelling ensued, and eventually he had kicked you out of the workplace, leaving you to stand outside the door, fighting back tears. 

It was not like you guys barely fought. With a boyfriend with such explosive temper, fights were inevitable, and you were usually quite good at defusing the situation or letting off steam by engaging in a good old shouting match until Killer came along the tell you both to quit it. 

You were just so disheartened right now, it could’ve been such a great opportunity to hang out with your boyfriend, maybe scare away some unsuspecting civilians. He liked blowing things up occasionally, and you had wrongfully connected that to maybe him liking fireworks. And maybe he did like them, but just didn’t want to hang out with you for now. That last option made you feel even worse. 

You walked back to your cabin, the crew passing you on the way knowing better than to disturb you after a fight with Kid. The big difference now was that you weren’t even angry. You were just sad. You were not one to get overly emotional, Kid hated it when you cried, and not for the reason most boyfriends would hate seeing their girl cry, he just thought it annoying. So you locked yourself up in your room for a couple of hours, cried your heart out and you were back on your way. 

A good cry cleansed your body and soul, and even though the situation was far from fixed, you could at least find some energy to last until the next time you saw Kid. You weren’t really sure how to feel about the whole relationship as of now, but you would try to talk it out. After all, it’s not like you didn’t know you started a relationship with possibly the most difficult man on sea. 

He did not show up for dinner, and when Killer offered to go bring him a plate on your behalf, you thanked him, but proposed you’d do it yourself. You wanted to talk it out. You were not really sure what you wanted to accomplish by talking, but you really just wanted something. Let him know that you did not want to nag him, but also let him know you wanted to do something, anything together. 

You knocked on the door to announce your entrance, and then came in, carefully carrying the plate so no food would be spilled.  “Have you come to nag again?” Kid didn’t even turn to face you, too busy tinkering with whatever mechanics you did not understand to begin with.  “No, I just...”, you put the plate down next to him, in a spot where none of his supplies were, “I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have pushed you... but babe, it’s been weeks since we did something fun. I get that you don’t want to please the crew for what they pulled on the last island... but I’m not just a crew member. I am also your girlfriend and i’d love for you to spend some time with me. And looking at some stupid fireworks was my plan. But anything goes really. I shouldn’t have hidden it under some crew bonding. I just want it to be you and me.” 

He stood up from his workbench, towering over you, you stepped back a little, just cause you had been standing so close behind him to start with.  “You should’ve told me so doll”  “I know I know....” You sighed deeply. “We’re still not going to that stupid island. It’s too late anyway.”  You nodded.  “But I guess if you find some other dumb activity to do for us, you can tell me. None of that sappy family-crew-bonding bullshit okay? If you want a date, you tell me.”  You smiled in response, giving him a quick peck on the lips to say goodbye, so he could eat and focus on his project again.  “Maybe we can get some stargazing done? Not tonight, but just... some night. No crew needed, no stops on a strange islands, just you and I and the sky, and nothing else special.”   He grunted in response, which you took as a yes, and you walked out of the workshop, a weight of your shoulders now that was resolved. 

That night you were sleeping alone, not cause Kid was still mad, but it actually happened quite often that once he got busy in his workshop, and worked there all night, or at least most of the night. You were used to it, knowing you would wake up in his arms anyway. You were about to drift away when you heard the familiar footsteps in the hallway leading up to his cabin. 

You shifted a little, making yourself more comfortable, preparing for some lazy cuddles. Usually Kid was pretty quiet - or at least attempted to be quiet when he noticed you were already sleeping -, so you nearly jumped when he slammed open the door and called out your name.  “Kid, what the fuck?”  “Come out, stargazing”  You were confused, sleepy and a little pissed at the sudden wake-up call, not even registering what he said.  “Stargazing?” “Yes, dumbass, that’s what you wanted right? The sky is clear now, bring the blanket. It’s a little cold and I don’t want you nagging for my coat.” 

You crawled out of the bed, blanket wrapped around you and followed Kid through the hallways onto the deck of the Victoria Punk. He sat you down on a certain spot, mumbling something about it being the best view and you looked up. There were actually not that much stars visible and you frowned a little.  “Kid... are you sure this is the best time to-”  “Just shut up for a second y/n”  He didn’t sound angry or agitated and you did as he said as he sat next to you and wrapped an arm around you.  

BANG. 

You jumped, Kid chuckled. Before you could ask him what the fuck that sudden explosion was, you noticed a sea of sparkles lighting up the sky and you stared at them, mouth wide open with amazement. The first explosion was followed by man others, fireworks lighting up the sky in all kinds of different colors, formations, even some shapes. You were completely stunned by the view, seeing your boyfriend grin from the corner of your eye.  “Is this what you had in mind?”  You couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.  “It’s even better. These are beautiful” You leaned up to kiss him, and cuddled even closer, pulling back and focusing on the beautiful fireworks again. They kept on coming, he must’ve spent nearly all day on it. That very idea warmed your heart. He probably was working on them as you went to bring him his dinner. It was his way of saying sorry, without actually saying it out loud.  “Hey captain?”  He looked at you skeptically, as he always did when you used that nickname outside of the bedroom. You liked using it here and there just to keep him on his toes. “I love you” He grinned proudly in response, pulling you in for another, longer and deeper kiss, pouring in the love from his side, fireworks still going of in the background. This was so much more intimate, so much better than any festival you could imagine. 

He could definitely be a handful, but you wouldn’t trade him for anyone. He cared in his own special way, and for you, that was more than enough. 

[thepeakyfckingblinders]

Innocence Lost || Michael Gray x reader

⤠ MASTERLIST⤟

Anon requested: “ 2 & 7 from the prompt list. Perhaps for Michael? Don’t worry prompts just are tough since you can’t read anyone’s mind but you’ll come around. Every idea is different. I’ve been writing fan work for about six years and I still suck at prompts.” (Love you so much, thank you for your support, I’m so sorry for being late, hope you don’t hate me) Summary: n.2 & 7 from my prompt list: "He’s driving me crazy” +  “It hurts so bad I can’t breathe”

Warnings: angst, swearing, virgin reader, a little smut

Author’s notes:

First of all, this is awfully long [3967 words], but I really loved writing it, my favourite piece so far, thank you so much for requesting!

Paragraphs written in italics are flashbacks.

I’m sorry for being this late, but I’ve been really busy in the past days and I spent a whole holiday without Wi-fi, moreover, writing is never just easy, it demands concentration and effort, plus I don’t want you to be disappointed, so I’m always extra accurate while working. I hope this is worth the wait!

Let me know what you think and tell me if this is what you expected  ♡

I’m Italian, English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for every possible mistake I made. Also please, help me improve my writing by telling me if there’s something wrong

ENJOY!

“Y/n, please, you can’t keep this up, you need to eat” For the umpteenth time in a row, your best friend’s voice reached your ears from behind the locked door of your room, but, again, you just ignored her and the loud thuds produced by her small fists colliding with the dark wood, your watery eyes remained fixed on the window facing your messy bed, as your attention was totally reduced to the meagre sun rays feebly filtering from the curtains. Your mind somehow managed to isolate itself from the surrounding world, until those deafening screams and noises waned in your numb eardrums and your empty y/e/c irises disappeared behind your heavy eyelids, covered in evident violet veins alarmingly in relief under your deathly pale skin.

Once more, you inexorably drowned in your haunting memories leading your already faint breath to break, while a muffled sigh slightly escaped your bluish lips in desperate need of hydration. In a matter of seconds you fell in a fugue state, still far from sleeping, yet just as far from being awake, and then you saw him again: his piercing green eyes, the sharp features of his wonderful face, his soft lips always contracted in a harsh line; you perfectly remembered every single inch of his glorious figure, to the point that the illusive vision evoked by your exhausted brain looked so real, that you thought to be able to finally touch him, as your hand instinctively lifted from the mattress, agonizingly digging in the stale air, but never coming near to graze the actual object of its fondest desires.

Before you could at least try to avoid it, you found yourself retracing the course of your relationship with Michael for the millionth time, an acute wave of pain spread through your chest, stealing another excruciating moan from your throat.

The familiar ring of the small bell, specifically hung above the door, reverberated in the room, announcing the presence of another person in your mother’s shop.

You raised your head, already smiling at your new customer, and looked in the direction of the entrance, more than ready to help whoever it was find the perfect material for the making of a high-quality suit, still, when you realized who actually walked in your store, your heart skipped a beat and you felt cold drops instantly forming on your forehead.

“Good morning, sir, h-how can I help you?” With a courage you never knew you had, you almost stuttered those words, incapable of taking your eyes off the magnetic ones of none other than Michael Gray; your blood froze on the spot, your mother had always begged you to keep yourself out of the way of the infamous Peaky Blinders, she’d always said they were dangerous people and no good would’ve ever come from getting involved with them in any way, and that terrifying awareness had you panic even more under his penetrating stare, while you kept hearing your mum’s apprehensive tone echoing inside your mind.

“Miss? Is everything alright?”

Only when that unbelievably deep voice rocked the air around your body, you understood you must’ve got lost in your thunderous thoughts, probably looking like a complete fool, so with a simple toss of your head you eventually forced yourself to put aside your fear and smile once more, even though you just wanted to run away from that uncomfortable situation. “Yeah, I’m perfectly fine, thank you. Please, tell me what you need and I’ll do my best to make you leave satisfied” Those words frenetically tumbled out of your mouth as your nervous fingers moved a strand of your hair behind your right ear, where you had previously pinned a graceful white and blue orchid, like you used to do every day. You saw an amused grin forming on his face, his vigilant orbs studied your shape, following each movement you made with flaunted audacity. “You want me to leave that bad?” The earlier trickle of concern in his tone was now replaced by pure irony, and you felt your cheeks wildly burn realizing how wrong that choice of words was.

“Oh my God, no! That’s not what I meant, I-i was... I was-” The young man’s crystal laugh interrupted your humiliating rambling, causing your flushed face to turn literally purple with embarrassment, suddenly the tip of your shoes became the most interesting thing in the world for you, until a solid hand gently gripped your chin, guiding you to lift your gaze, before it left your skin and cautiously reached for the flower held amidst your locks. “Hey, it’s okay, I was just joking” a tender smile still decorated his lips while he toyed with the delicate blossom between his fingers, examining it like it was something he had never seen before “Why do you wear this in your hair?”

Your nose automatically scrunched up at that silly question and you glanced at him almost in disbelief. In the space of a moment your wild heartbeat regularized, suddenly he din’t look like a dangerous gangster anymore, in your eyes, for that brief instant, he became just a weird boy in your workshop. 

“I like flowers” Michael chuckled in amusement again because of your disarming naivety, and his attitude seriously started to get on your nerves, he was pissing you off with his impertinence, plus you didn’t understand what he was laughing at. “Explain to me what's so funny, so I can laugh too” When you comprehended how your tone came out a bit grumpier than you expected, your eyes went wide with dread since you immediately remembered who you were speaking to. Still, nothing bad happened; he simply tried to stop giggling in your face as both his hands raised in a gesture of surrender.

“No need to get all worked up, honey, I only think you’re cute”

Pure shock contaminated your features due to those words, your cheeks heated again in distress, yet he didn’t move an inch, continuing to look at you from beneath his full lashes; there was something indecipherable in his gaze, something that made your stomach flinch with an unknown feeling. “You what?” Your voice rose of a few octaves, making you sound like a complete psycho, Michael, on the other hand, simply ignored your hysteric question and took up his absurd speech. “Would you have dinner with me tonight, miss?” Your trembling body unconsciously curled up on your left side, while your pupils berserkly moved under your closed eyelids and your mind kept reliving those bittersweet flashbacks. Actually, that day you had gently declined his first invite, under the pretext of not knowing him well enough, “you don’t even know my name, sir”, you had said, hoping to dissuade him from that odd whim; too bad for you, Michael Gray always knew exactly what he desired and rarely changed his mind nor gave up, especially when it came to intriguing challenges like you were. In fact, after your first encounter, he began to come to the store at least three times each week, on the pretence of ordering all sorts of rich fabrics for he needed new suits, and every morning he made sure that a bouquet of fresh white and blue orchids was dropped off your workplace. With the passing of days, no matter how hard you had tried not to, you fatally started to enjoy his company: he made you laugh like no one else did, and he was so kind and caring, that you soon forgot about his bad reputation, on the contrary, you could hardly believe that he was some vile criminal, since around you he just behaved like a normal boy, full of life and hopes. Eventually, he managed to persuade you to go out with him three weeks later, and after your first date, many and many others came, until one night he took you dancing in a lovely place down town. Needless to say, Michael was an absolute disaster on the dance floor, still he was there with you and kept making a fool of himself only to see you have fun; you perceived it in his stunning eyes, how happy he was from just knowing that you wanted to be right there and then, with him and him alone. And when he first kissed you, that same night in the middle of the ballroom, pulling you closer to his chest after a clumsy pirouette, in that exact moment, you knew, beyond any doubt, you had hopelessly fallen for that man. The mere thought of all those cheerful times brought an involuntary smirk on your face consumed by sorrow, but it was quickly overshadowed by your last memory together, which was for you both the most painful and blissful memory of all. The small lights, emanated from the fireflies Michael had caught for you, literally enchanted you, it was unbelievable how the simplest things could be so dazzling. A few days earlier, he had told you about his previous life, when he was nothing more than an ordinary farmboy with a normal family and a special talent for the mathematics, he had told you about how he loved to spend time with his little brother, playing ball among those endless fields or trapping glow-worms in old jam jars. For this reason, he had finally decided to bring you there, because he wanted you to know who he really was, aside from all his money and power, he needed you to love that part of himself too. So you found yourself comfortably sitting on a large towel in the middle of the green English countryside, your back was pressed against his torso and his arms were vigorously wrapped around your waist.

“What’s on your mind?” Your soft voice broke that unearthly silence first, you heard him giggle from above your shoulder before a quick peck was left on your cheek, followed by the tip of his nose tracing an electric path from your jaw to the bottom of your neck. You felt his face sink in your smooth skin as he took a deep breath, inhaling your fruity scent as much as possible, then a long wet kiss at the height of your throat inflamed your flesh with no mercy, until his libidinous mouth paused its work, in order to give you the sincere answer you were waiting for. “I want to make love to you”

In a single sharp movement you rolled onto your other side, desperately grabbing the edges of the sheets with your hands, almost like that was the only chance you had to keep yourself from falling again into the darkest abysses of your brain, but you couldn’t wake up, that noxious slumber seemed to keep you hostage. Grieving wailings filled the room, and your lungs easily run out of air, when the last lethal recall implacably came.

“So beautiful, so fucking beautiful” Michael groaned, while his dilated pupils greedily drank each drop of your naked shape unsteadily laying under his, he watched in rapture your soft chest frantically raise and lower and your plump lips incapable of holding back uncountable whimpers, due to the lustful stroking of his fingertips inside your core. Your misty gaze never left his, as your foreheads eagerly pressed against each other, he kissed you with unbearable urgency once more, your fingers hungrily entangling his short hair so to keep him close. Yet, when you finally felt his tip rub against your centre, a mindless fear took over you, causing your mouth to abruptly depart from his; your eyes, impregnated with pure dismay, started to ravingly seek the spot where your bodies were about to connect, before Michael lifted your chin with tenderness, driving you to catch his preoccupied stare. “Hey, we don’t have to go further if you’re not feeling like doing it, love” He whispered while making your noses lovingly cress one another, you blinked multiple times in attempt to regain a minimum of lucidity and then placed one of your trembling hands on his cheek. A tremendous amount of chaotic thoughts were wildly dancing in your dizzy head: suddenly, the awareness of the fact that he was involved in nasty affairs struck terror into your heart all over again, moreover, it would’ve been a terrible scandal, if it ever got out that a girl from a good family had slept with someone out of wedlock, especially someone like him. But, more than anything else, you kept wondering how that whole thing was going to end; afterall, you had always heard rumors about him being an absolute womanizer, he seduced only to abandon, that was what everybody said in Birmingham, and you were completely petrified by the idea that he could treat you that way as well. Still, you knew your love for him was strong, and you firmly believed that love was nothing without trust. “I want this, I swear, but...” Embarrassment lead you to look away while pronouncing those last syllables and your voice died in your throat, but, despite that, Michael was able to read you like an open book, so he hurried to cup your face and briefly peck your lips, in order to make you restore your confidence. He wanted you to feel safe in his arms, he wanted you to give yourself to him without any change of heart, since only then you would’ve been truly, completely and utterly his. “Just keep looking at me, okay? It’s me and you, y/n, nothing else matter now. Only me and you” You nodded your head yes, definitely allowing him to go on, and, while you were sinking in the mesmerizing green of his irises, he began to gently thrust into you, always paying attention to all your facial cues. A dull ache soon radiated through your lower abdomen and legs, having you tense up under his weight, as your thighs instinctively tried to shut.  “Relax, babygirl” a shower of small kisses covered your face, his warm tone caressing your ears “I need you to tell me if it gets too much, got it? I’ll stop at any moment”

As soon as you gave him your consent afresh, he entirely drowned inside you at a placid pace, irreversibly taking your innocence; a wrenching whine forcefully rolled down your tongue because of that horrible sensation, inducing Michael to tauten his muscles for a second and then start to pull out right away.

Watching you suffer caused him physical pain, he could actually sense a grievous burden achingly worm its way through his ribs; that’s how he realized he loved you dangerously. “Wait, Michael” Your wavering voice, together with your calves still held around his hips, temporary succeeded in keeping him from breaking that intimate connection, your nails digging in his forearms to prevent you from crying. “Stay with me”  You pleaded again, yet he seemed determined to ignore your prayers, as his head vehemently shook in disapproval and his waist fought your legs’ resistance. “I’m hurting you! I can’t-” Michael was not able to end his sentence for your lips impetuously collided with his, you needed him to stop blaming himself for such a natural thing; sweet caresses enveloped his marked cheekbones in a dire effort to calm his nerves, while you knowingly borrowed his former words. “Please, I want you to make love to me” After that night, without a single word, Michael Gray inexplicably disappeared from your life. A moon passed, yet not once he came to your shop, nor he wrote you a letter in order to explain the reason behind his disgusting behaviour, he just continued to avoid you, always staying away from the places where he knew he would meet you, pretending not to spot you among the crowded streets of the city. It was as if the entire world had fallen on your frail shoulders, you couldn’t quantify the cruel grief tearing your soul apart. “Y/n! Y/n, you have to wake up!” Mary’s screams rudely dragged you back to reality, only then you heard the immoderate sobs and weeps uncontrollably erupting from your throat; you looked up at your best friend, who had somehow managed to pick the lock of your chamber, and you noticed raw terror shining in her orbs, her fists squeezing your arms hard enough to leave a mark. “L-leave me alone” You muttered with hot tears still streaming down your face. Even though you were well conscious of your extreme bad attitude towards her, you couldn’t handle any physical contact in those moments, you only craved loneliness. “No, I fucking won’t! Now, tell me what the hell is going on with you” Her aggressive tone brooked no argument as she showed no signs of letting go of you, at least not until you spat it all out. “I can get no peace, I see him! Every time I close my eyes, I see his damn face, I hear his voice. He’s driving me crazy” You snuggled up, burying your head between your flexed knees, finally allowing your cry to explode altogether.                                                          *****

“Mr. Gray, I’m so sorry, I tried to stop her, but she won’t listen!” From his comfortable armchair, Michael abandoned his work only to glimpse at his assistant with one eyebrow raised in a sceptical expression.  Yet, soon he understood what that poor man was talking about, since Mary furiously broke into his office, bravely sending him eloquent death glares. With his usual arrogance pouring out of every hole, the boy brought a cigarette to his mouth, lighting it in a quick move, before he dropped his secretary a hint so to be left alone with the lady. “I have business, no time to talk” Michael tried his best to sound as unemotional as possible, he kept smoking slowly, savouring every rush of grey smoke, and staring at the girl in front of him with a destabilizing sense of superiority. “You don’t need to talk, you screwed bastard! You just have to listen!” In the blink of an eye, Mary reached for him behind his desk, rabidly gripping his naive shirt collar in order to push him closer to her livid face. She knew perfectly well who she was growling at, he could’ve ruined her at any moment and that was a risky choice, but her dearest friend was going to pieces right beyond her eyes and she had to do something about it. “She’s slowly fading away and there’s nothing anyone can do, ‘cause you fucking destroyed her!” Michael forced himself to bear her gaze, despite the devouring guilt growing inside his stomach. “She at least deserves a bloody logical explanation, so she can finally move on. I swear to God, Michael Gray, if you don’t go there and talk to her, I’ll find a way to fuck up your pathetic life, if it’s the last thing I do”                                                              *****

A light knock on the wooden jamb distracted you from your thoughts again, you simply moaned with annoyance in response, laying on your bed with your back to the open door. “I told you to leave me alone, Mary” You murmured at the limit of your strength, but, half a minute later, you heard someone clear their throat in a very familiar way, and you just couldn’t believe your ears. Without a second thought, your back escaped the control of your mind, hastily leaving the mattress; in the space of a moment, you found yourself standing in front of him. The air around you seemed to freeze on the spot, you stopped breathing, he was there, for the first time after more than a month. Your heart was atrociously split into two: part of you only wanted to throw your arms around his neck and hold him tight, still, your other half hated him for the hell he had deliberately put you through. “Go away.” Your stone-cold remark hit him right in the gut, he looked in horror at the state into which you had fallen, conscious of being the one to blame for all the pain he had caused you; before he could notice, he sensed a salt drop fall from his lashes and directly hit the floor, but he didn’t move, unable to regain control of his paralyzed body. “I said, go away!” This time you couldn’t prevent yourself from hysterically shouting in his face, starting to throw several punches at his chest, both of you were now at the mercy of your own rage. Coming out of his momentary trance, Michael promptly grabbed your wrists, partially interrupting your fierce outburst; feeling the touch of his bare skin on yours inexorably had goosebumps cover every inch of your figure, it was like getting sparked a thousand times in a row, you kept wondering how you were staying on your feet without falling to the ground. “I’m here to talk” That mind-blowing sound filled your ears, causing your craw to painfully close up, he kept his watery irises locked with yours, waiting for you to say something, but your only answer ended up being a forceful shove, which allowed you to free yourself from his grasp. “Talk? Really?!” a bitter laugh left your sternum as you incredulously put your hands through your tousled locks “What exactly did you want to discuss with me? How disgusting you are for mercilessly betraying a person whose only mistake was loving you, eh?” Truth was hard to handle for him, he was aware of what a horrible thing he had done to you, still, he wished he could make you understand he had acted that way for a reason. Michael lowered his gaze in discomfort, until your roaring voice echoed through the walls once more. “Look at me! I want you to see what you’ve done” you took a few steps in his direction, getting riskily close to him, while your mad stare never left his features. “I am shot to pieces because of you” Your index finger roughly hit the middle of his pecs for a brief instant, then you distanced yourself of about three feet, overwhelmed by that terrible mess made of a million contrasting feelings bloodily fighting into your head. “It hurts so bad I can’t breathe” That was nothing more than a whisper, cracking under the weight of your excruciating emotions; for the umpteenth time that day, all the air in your lungs somehow vanished for a few, interminable, seconds, leaving you to tremble before his immovable silhouette. That heartbreaking sight stirred something in Michael, something so strong, that he finally reacted to that unbearable situation. “I fucking did it for you! I did it to protect you from a man like me, y/n! What do I really have to offer you, eh?” Shock took over you while you watched him gesticulate, wildly hitting his own torso multiple times in between his yells. “Blood, death, destruction, that’s what I am. And I can’t drag you down with me, y/n, ‘cause I love you too much to be this selfish!” He fell on his knees, fully depleted by his own sorrow, and he wearily leant his forehead onto your womb, heavy sobbing through the veils of your nightgown. A round minute went by without you exhaling a single sigh, you tried and process what he had just said, swiftly repeating it all to yourself. Eventually, your fingers gently began to caress his hair in attempt to put an end to his loud weeps, never before you had seen him cry, never in a thousand years you had thought that moment would ever come. “I love you too, Michael, and that’s why you can’t decide for me”  Your right hand softly cupped his chin in order to make him look up at your eyes. “You just have to let me stay by your side”

tag list: @namelesslosers, @shadow-of-wonder, @spidey-pal

[purplesurveys]

936

1. What’s your whole name? So my first-second name is Robyn Isabelle, but that’s all I’m willing to give.

2. Are you named after anyone? Kind of? They picked my name after my parents discovered Dancing-On-My-Own Robyn, so they mirrored my name after her but I wouldn’t call it a tribute to her. My parents simply liked her name.

3. Do you have any siblings? Two younger ones - a sister and a brother.

4. Where did you grow up? For a very brief time as an infant we lived in Manila, but that didn’t take long and my parents and I moved to a city in Rizal since my mom hated how dirty and polluted Manila is and she didn’t want to raise her kid in such a nasty city. 

5. What activities did you do in high school? I played table tennis and served in the editorial board of the school yearbook. I probably did other things too, but high school isn’t a time I normally look back on and so it’s likely I’ve forgotten many bits of it.

6. Where did you go to college? UPD, journalism.

7. What activities did you do in college? I was part of a journalism organization where I taught in workshops and served two executive positions there, served in the editorial board of a student publication and my college’s yearbook, and did an internship with a PR firm. I also wrote all sorts of content with all of these affiliations – articles, press releases, what have you.

8. What did you study in college? My degree is in journalism, but I took a shit-ton of history courses to satiate my love for history and also dabbled in a couple of political science electives.

9. What was your first job out of college? I don’t have a job yet but this morning I had an interview with a PR agency for a full-time marketing position, and literally an hour ago I got a paid internship offer from another PR agency, the latter of these I prefer SO MUCH MORE. I’ve always personally preferred PR Agency #2 since the work is a lot more aligned with what I want to do that money isn’t even an issue for me – I would’ve been willing to do it for free. If I ever get the marketing role, I’m willing to turn it down for the internship since my heart is truly in PR, not in marketing. We’ll see!

10. What kind of music do you like? These days I’m into lo-fi, indie with dark-ish sounds, synthpop, and alternative R&B.

11. What’s one hobby that you’d like to take up? Baking. It looks so fulfilling and with how depressed I’ve been feeling these days, it seems like such a good hobby to get me preoccupied for a couple of hours.

12. What did you think you wanted to be when you grew up? My earliest occupation goals were astronaut, veterinarian and firefighter. In grade school it turned into author, then by 6th or 7th grade I started to set my sights on becoming a journalist.

13. What’s the biggest project on your to-do list right now? Right now I wanna get busy and get an internship or a full-time job altogether, anything that can get me to dip my toes in a workplace. I think it’s been enough time staying at home and simply relaxing.

14. Do you have any irrational fears? I have one notable one, which is watching advertisements in the evening.

15. Have you ever traveled outside the country? If so, where and when? Yes. I’ve been to six countries and they all took place within the last decade.

16. When’s your next vacation and where are you going? I have nothing planned for now, obviously. But it would be awesome if my next vacation would be out of my own pocket, and I can start somewhere local, like Vigan. That’s definitely a goal of mine.

17. Do you speak any other languages? Filipino; and occasionally it’s easy to pick up Spanish phrases or paragraphs since it has a lot of similarities to Filipino.

18. What’s one talent that you wish you had? I really wish I knew how to cook or play the piano.

19. What’s something that you wish you did more of? Love myself and know when enough is enough and not keeping on letting certain people walk all over me.

20. If you weren’t in your current job, what would you want to be doing? Hypothetically, say I locked in the marketing job, I would have been a little sad in it and would’ve preferred a PR role altogether.

[berniesrevolution]

Food coops, housing coops, credit unions, and other such institutions are sometimes referred to as the “solidarity economy.” How do these institutions relate to working-class power? Do they offer working-class people some shelter or respite from capitalism? Do they perhaps even “create the new world in the shell of the old”? Nick Driedger and Eric Dirnbach, two veteran members of many institutions of the solidarity economy, debate these points.

Eric: We all noticed this recent article about the campaign for “postal banking,” where United States Postal Service branches would offer much-needed banking services for folks who lack access to bank accounts.  The USPS actually used to do this up until the 1960s, and other countries still have it. This would obviously be helpful for many low-income people, who are forced to pay high fees at check cashing stores, and of course Wall Street banks hate the idea because they don’t want the competition. Unfortunately, according to the article, the national credit union association allied with the banks to lobby against it, which was news to me.

Now, I’m a member of a credit union and a fan of the concept. Financial institutions owned and run by their members are a great alternative to handing over our money to the standard, capitalist banks and increasing their power over us. Credit unions are in principle more accountable to their members and their communities, and have policies that are much more progressive than banks. And yet they took this bad stance against postal banking, deciding to protect their turf, just like the capitalists.

This reminded me of the recent Organizing Work exposé about bad labor practices and union-busting at a number of food cooperatives. I’m also a fan of food coops and have been a member of several, and those practices are extremely disappointing. Another problematic example is the Mondragon coop network in Spain, which I think is really impressive, but also incorporates a second-class tier of international workers who are not member-owners and who have even gone on strike against the coop.  

Overall, these are examples of “solidarity economy” organizations behaving like capitalist enterprises. The solidarity economy can be described as a network of organizations and practices like worker coops, housing coops, community land trusts, food coops, credit unions, time banks, community gardens and other entities that are alternatives to capitalist businesses. A segment of the left, and I would include myself here, believes one strategy (along with others like union organizing) to help transition beyond capitalism is to grow this economy in opposition to capitalist practices and prefigure the better socialist world that we want. A hundred years ago they called this idea the “Cooperative Commonwealth.” But these examples of bad, non-solidarity politics undermine that ideal.

Nick: In the article you mention, we see an example of an arm of the United States government being called on to provide a new public service. The City of Cleveland specifically called on the United States Postal Service to provide banking services through post office outlets. These calls are also coming from grassroots campaigns among postal workers’ unions in the USA and Canada, who want the government to expand services, better serve rural communities and undercut payday loan companies, which are often the only way for many working people to cash their paycheques, at exorbitant rates.

I am a member of four different consumer cooperative businesses, and had my first job at one of them. The United Farmers of Alberta is an institution where I live. At one time, it was a political party, and for a number of years, a long time ago, it was the government of the province. I am a member and buy feed for my chickens and ducks there, and when I was sixteen they gave me my first job. It had benefits and clear hours and a job description. It paid head and shoulders above what most businesses in rural Alberta will pay a teenager.

I am also a member of my small town’s credit union. The manager of this credit union is a big player in the local United Conservative Party.  I pay my insurance through The Cooperators Insurance. The manager of this coop was our New Democrat (social democratic party in Canada) representative in the provincial government that just fell in Alberta a couple of months ago. In the past, I have voted for left candidates for the board at Mountain Equipment Co-op (a camping supply consumer coop popular in Canada) who wanted to push for stronger ethical purchasing guidelines and support the cause of Palestinian rights.

Cooperatives in Western Canada are political and there is politics inside of them. They are often on their local chambers of commerce, and there is both a left wing inside the cooperative movement as well as a very strong right wing.

Where I live, coops are also a part of the local history. My family in a Saskatchewan farming community have worked for generations at a consumer cooperative simply called “The Co-op,” which provides groceries and fuel in many communities. In many rural communities in Western Canada, no one would have electricity if not for early rural cooperatives. Later, government services followed, like Alberta Government Telephones (which was privatized in the 1990s). Often coops would establish services that would be picked up as public services later. The words “Cooperative Commonwealth” have a deep resonance with people and a history here. Even a lot of conservatives consider the history of the Cooperative Commonwealth Federation (forerunner of the New Democratic Party) a history working people and farmers can be proud of on the prairies.

Eric: That is a fascinating history and I’d love to learn more about coops in rural areas. Clearly coops were organized over the years to meet the needs of rural residents. Agricultural supply and electrical coops are great examples of this. More modern examples are the internet service coops.

I’m more familiar with coops in an urban setting.  I’ve lived in my housing coop in New York City for about ten years and was just elected to the board, so I’ve been thinking about this place a lot. Morningside Gardens, with almost 1,000 apartments in six buildings, was founded in 1957 and has a pretty rich history of cooperative activity, with many committees, clubs and other organizations formed. Folks started a cooperative workshop for woodworking and ceramics, a nursery school and a retirement service in the 1960s, which are all still running.  The retirement service allows senior residents to age in-place and not have to move to a nursing home.

Members here have also been involved in community-issue organizing for decades, such as supporting local libraries, fighting for good subway and sanitation services, and campaigning for better local zoning to restrict luxury condos. Residents have formed several babysitting coops over the years. A theatre group was formed in the 1980s which still exists. In the last few years, several buildings have started a “Neighbors Helping Neighbors” mutual aid program, which is like an informal timebank where folks help each other with household tasks.

We had a food coop for over 30 years; that closed in the 1990s. I spent some time reading our old newsletters to learn about it and write up a history. The food coop members advocated for better consumer protection and product labeling laws in the 1960s and 1970s when the entire grocery industry was against more regulations. The coop also supported the United Farm Workers grape boycott and the Nestle baby formula boycott. In the 1960s, it started a credit union, which lasted for 15 years, so low-income members could have access to loans they couldn’t get at a bank. The coop also helped start at least two other food coops nearby, with funding and technical assistance. It made a small profit in most of its years and often returned a rebate to the members, thus keeping money in the community and out of the hands of a billionaire grocery boss.  And it was a union shop. One of my neighbors worked as a bookkeeper there in the 1970s and 1980s and still gets the union pension today.

All this seems really positive to me and was enabled to a large extent by the cooperative setting. Of course, some of this activity could happen in a similarly-sized apartment complex of renters, owned and managed by a landlord, but a lot of it wouldn’t. Bosses and landlords monopolize power, decision-making and wealth. Workplace and tenant unions fight to expand worker and tenant power, of course, but ultimately the boss or landlord still owns the property and extracts the surplus value and rent. The process of people running their own key institutions requires a lot of volunteer work, but this cooperation I think builds skills and confidence and creates more opportunities and the desire to work together on other projects.

Now, I don’t want to overstate the situation here; this isn’t Full Communism. Of course there have always been folks who see it as just a nice place to live and are less engaged in its internal life and politics. And capitalism has intruded on our utopia. The coop was “limited-equity” for decades, meaning that apartments were priced at below market value to keep them affordable. This was because our coop originally received tax breaks and other assistance arising from the 1949 Housing Act, which was intended to create affordable housing (and has a complicated history).  Then there was a contentious, long-running debate starting in the 1990s where a majority of residents voted to shift to market-rate pricing over time.  

(Continue Reading)

[shammyb]

I hate this darkness in me. I feel like such a goddamn burden, and this is the only safe space for me to express that without constant questioning, people trying to tell me to look at all the good i have in my life or to just pray more or whatever. My work place has been such a huge addition to the darkness I’ve been feeling lately. I cried myself to sleep last night thinking about how my last partner told me they couldn't be with me because they couldn’t deal with my depression. I have been fearing opening myself up to much to my newer partner because I feel it would be a burden to their already busy and depression filled life. My copay’s to get therapy/mental health help are extremely expensive and I can’t seem to manage my money well on food--and have been using food as an escape outlet as of late. When I open up about my feelings to my mom she either tells me I should be stronger or literally changes the subject or turns around and starts doing something else as if I never said anything at all. Having been raped by 4 men now, and one of which was for several years, I feel like I can’t get rid of that pain. My meds worked for a while, and helped a lot in the span of time they did, but they aren’t working anymore. And I just don’t feel like most can deal with this burden of an illness that is stuck to my back. I hate reliving this trauma, and my best friend understands and cares and I’m so appreciative of her support, but I also hate feel like it’s not her responsibility. I want to open up more to my partner, but i also want to be a good example of self-care to him, because I know he struggles with it himself. We also only get to see each-other once a week or sometimes only twice a month. I also don’t know how much longer I can do that, because he’s my daddy and i crave more attention and love from a daddy than he’s been providing. That’s a talk for the next time we see each-other. I want someone who can be there to snuggle with me and tell me things will be OK and it’s okay to be in this darkness. I want to feel like someone cares and wants to protect me from all the men who've tried and try to take advantage of my vulnerabilities. I want to just be stronger myself, and I know I am fucking strong, but days like today where all I want to do is fall asleep and never wake up make me question my strengths. I wish my parents wanted to try to get to know me without throwing their newfound religion into the mix. I wish I felt more secure telling them they need to start trying or I can’t continue having them in my life. I wish all workplaces held mandatory mental health education/awareness workshops, and I wish I had more people in my life who openly love me for who I am and where I currently am at. I feel so fucking alone tonight, even though I know I’m not. I’m going to make a doctors appointment and start getting back on track on figuring out how I can better take care of myself/muster up more motivation to get to where I want to be. I’m probably going to start dancing here in the near near future, just so I can get myself out of debt and into a better future life, even though the job itself doesn’t appeal to me personally. 

[softjeon]

Speed Lane | Pt. 10

• Pairing: Yoongi x Jimin • Genre: Angst | Racer!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 5,2k | Co-Writer: Cat @cassiavioletblue​ ↳ (AO3) • Disclaimer: mentioning of alcohol / drugs / violence / smut / abuse / graphic content

↳ There he was. In midst of his workplace, standing straight, sunglasses on his face, nose a bit too high, with an attitude as if he owned that place. The rage was welling all the way up inside of him, so quickly that the wrench cluttered from his hand. The boy turned around at the sound and they stared at each other, just like they did in the night of the race.

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He could get used to mornings in Jimin’s summer house. The bed was nice (and there also was the added benefit of waking up next to the person he loved which made him grin stupidly right after waking up) the breakfast was even better, and he felt like there wasn’t a thing in the world that could ruin his mood. Until he saw his car. In broad daylight. For the first time like winning the race against Yunyeong.

He had known that there would be damage; he had heard it, felt it when the cars had been bumping into each other but in the following chase with the police there hadn’t been time to get out and take a closer look at the damage. Now there was. And it was horrible. His beautiful baby, his one and only, his first love - scratches , imperfections everywhere. The varnish was gone on at least four different edges and he hated it. Of course, he could repair it and ask Tae and Kookie to show him how to make the varnish perfect again but - it had been damaged! His beautiful car! So of course, he had to do what every real racer would do: He whined and kicked the next best thing (that wasn’t a car) pouting about why anyone ‘would do that to such a beauty’.

Jimin kept his gaze low, feeling like it has been his fault that Yoongi’s car was damaged. He stayed close though, watching Yoongi carefully in his rage. He wasn’t sure if he should come forward or just be quiet right now. Hoseok put his hand on Yoongi comfortingly and sighed, “I told you it won’t be a fair race…but we will make it right. We repaired worse than that…it’ll just be expensive, and you can’t race for a little while until we got it fixed and then you only need to win every race to get the money back quick.” Hoseok smiled at his friend, “Or you can use my car or Jin’s for a few races when we don’t compete. So, you can earn some money in between.”

“Or -” Jungkookie chimed in, waiting until the attention was on him “-you could just ask your rich boyfriend here if he pays it. That’s just peanuts for you, isn’t it Jimin?” He winked at the other, seemingly joking but now that he had said it the question was on the table, joke or not. Jimin almost had flinched when his name fell, that’s how deep in his thoughts he was, biting his lip repeatedly. He had the exact same thought. Of course, he would have paid for it, but he knew Yoongi wouldn’t want his help not in this way. But before Jimin could say anything Yoongi quickly turned around and ended the conversation before it had even begun. “I wouldn’t want that. It’s my car. I pay for that. Simple as that.”

Walking over to him Jimin intertwined his hand with Yoongi’s and just kissed his cheek. Taehyung instinctively reached out for Jungkook, taking his bag and motioned towards his car, “Let’s just go home and then Hobi and Yoongi can figure it out in the workshop. We will help you with the paintwork on your car either way. It could use a new design anyways.” He pushed Jungkook a little, so the younger was walking ahead and keeping other comments to himself, while Jimin walked around Yoongi’s car and opened the door. Before he got in though Jungkook turned around again, ignoring Taehyung's worried looks. Something was obviously bothering him.

“You didn‘t deny that he‘s your boyfriend though,” Jungkook pushed further, tone teasing but smile wavering. “Nah, I did not. Because he is,” Yoongi's way of kicking little stones in the gravel betrayed his seemingly nonchalant manner. The others grew dead silent. “It‘s not like I would have made it so ceremoniously official like that in front of you people but as you‘re kind of asking: Jimin is off limits. We‘re together and I‘m not sharing. So, if that‘s what you‘ve been trying to find out I‘m sorry to disappoint you.“ Hoseok‘s eyes widened. But as he observed the way Yoongi was looking at Jungkook playfully he realized that Yoongi wasn‘t being cruel on purpose. He was just incredible dense. Like he tended to be, pretty often really, when it came to realizing his own worth or how much other people liked him. As laughable as it was it would probably come as a shock for Yoongi if someone told him that Jungkook had very obviously a thing for him. If it was just a possessive streak regarding sharing Yoongi with Jimin or if the younger was actually completely in love with the elder he couldn‘t say himself. But he sure as hell wasn‘t saying anything to Yoongi anyways. It wasn‘t his place to do that.

After that everyone was strangely busy to get into their own cars. Even Jungkook. Who was quiet the whole ride home despite Tae’s best attempts to cheer him up.

“You know I can still help you,” Jimin only spoke up, when they were already on the highway heading home, “I know you don’t want to but if there is anything you need from me and I don’t necessarily mean money, then just talk to me okay?” He blushed a little, something that Jungkook said lingering on his mind and he looked over to Yoongi, who was focused on driving, “Can I ask you something?”

“That’s nice of you, Jimin. Thank you, really. But I’m used to handling my own stuff. And I won’t change that now just because it would be easier to let you take care of my problems. I’m not one of those people. And I never will be.” Jimin’s reserved way of asking that question made him turn his head. “Sure, just spill it. What do you want to know?”

Jimin nodded quick to his answer before he continued a bit shaky, “You really…like, I don’t know…want…I mean, me to be your boyfriend? Do the others think it’s just because of the money, too? They hate me, right? Because I have money and as they say…didn’t work for it. Jungkook does.” Jimin had always been one who was giving a lot about the opinion of others about him. He knew it wasn’t right, but he just couldn’t stop it and sometimes the thoughts swallowed him up whole. Especially now that Yoongi had said it out loud. Had said that he was his. A sweet smile stole its way on his face and he reached out for Yoongi’s hand.

“Wait, what?” Hearing Jimin stumble over his words like that made him dizzy and he needed a second to get what the other was talking about. Then it clicked. But the wrong way of course. “Oh! Oh my…damn! Shit! Right, I’m sorry, I haven’t even asked you before, I just… yeah, uhm, do you even want to be together with me? I mean you said you loved me but if you prefer to be...I don’t know…involved with other for fun or be in a… poly relationship that would also... I mean it wouldn’t be great, but I guess I could live with that? If…if that’s what you want.” He coughed awkwardly, trying to ignore that he just had been just as bad as Jimin in wording what he wanted to say. “Ah and don’t worry about Jungkook. He’s been a little itchy lately. And you can’t take him seriously, he’s just been joking a lot around you. He’s like an open book. You can pretty easily see what he wants. And I haven’t seen him actively hating on anyone ever!”  

Jimin quickly shook his head, “No, no that’s not what I meant. I love you and I want to be with you. Only you.” He smiled at him and just when there was a red light, Jimin leaned in to kiss Yoongi quick. Jimin let the comments about Jungkook slide. He still couldn’t assess the younger and if his behavior was because he still was in love with Yoongi or just his overprotectiveness and his misjudgment of Jimin. He didn’t want the thoughts to interfere with the happiness he felt right now. The warmth in the pit of his stomach. The butterflies that went crazy and made him feel like he was on cloud nine.

Jimin showed Yoongi the way to his apartment, so he could let him out there. “Thanks boyfriend,” He said with a big grin on his face and kissed Yoongi goodbye sweetly, who didn’t want to come up with him but rather work on his ‘baby’ right away and Jimin had just chuckled at it, letting him be. He greeted the guard at the door happily and almost couldn’t contain his happiness, as he waited for the elevator. Never in his life had he ever been so happy, and it showed in every aspect of his life.

Jimin began talking to his parents more, coming by for dinner. Not often but more than he used to, and his mother seemed grateful. Jimin even considered changing his major. He hated studying economics and though he loved the field of business, Jimin rather wanted to study something that involved music and art. With his hands full of new brochures, he walked from the campus to his car, where he placed them on the passenger seat. It’s been only two days since he had last seen Yoongi, but he couldn’t wait to be with him again. Tonight, would be Yoongi’s first race after he and Hoseok had been working on it non-stop for a week.

Yoongi was immersed in polishing up his baby when Jimin came into sight. Immediately his eyes lit up and he smiled his brightest gummy smile. It was always like this. Just a thought of him made the butterflies flutter in his stomach (though Yoongi preferred to think of them of something preferably more dangerous, like hornets to up the coolness factor) and Tae had told him a few times that when Jimin called him at the workshop Yoongi smiled like crazy the second he heard his boyfriend’s voice. It was just as if Jimin was a happy pill that was extremely effective on Yoongi.

“Hey, Minnie! Do you want to check her out before the start? Look at those curves. She’s breathtaking, right?” Yoongi had been more than once gotten strange looks from strangers if they heard him talking about his baby - without knowing that it was actually a car.

Jimin let his gaze teasingly wander down Yoongi’s back and to his bottom, when he made a surprised expression and pointed at the car, “Oh you mean…this baby right here?” He laughed, wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s neck to kiss him. “She is breathtaking,” Jimin whispered against his lips, turning to take a closer look at the boys’ work. They really did an amazing job. It almost looked like a whole new car. Walking around it, Jimin smiled not daring to touch it yet (though he knew he was most likely allowed to). “I’ll go and bring my bag up,” Jimin said quick, being excited about the race as he was heading towards Yoongi’s apartment, “Do we go right away? Or do I still got a bit of time to change my outfit?”

“Well, depends how long it’ll take you. But I think just to be safe it would be best if you exchanged your outfit right here. That would save the time of you going upstairs, right?” Yoongi smirked and leaned against the hood of his car, glad that he had the upper hand again after Jimin looking him up and down hungrily before had left him speechless. Jimin never called him baby. At least not where someone else could hear.

“I don’t know if your friends approve,” Jimin winked at him and quickly went upstairs, when a cough made Yoongi turn his head.

“Where is your focus, Min Yoongi?” Hoseok said, waving his hands in the air as he scolded Yoongi, “You got a lot of pressure on you and instead of keeping your eyes on the race they are fixated on poor Jiminnie’s body.” Hoseok pushed him playfully against his shoulder, “But maybe this also means I have a chance at winning this race if you’re occupied with something or someone else.”

“You wish!” Yoongi was quick to retort giving Hoseok to understand that there was no way he would give up without a fight. He was so very thankful to have a friend in Hoseok who had a competitive streak that did not translate into their friendship. Except a little bit of teasing here and there they were fine, no matter who won and who lost. It’s wasn’t easy to find a racer whose ego could take that.

It didn’t take long for Jimin to come back downstairs again, completely changed in some darker outfit. He had chosen some dark brown boots, black ripped jeans and a black shirt, that showed off his lower abs as they were only hidden by black lace trimming. Not being able to decide between two of his jackets, Jimin had looked through Yoongi’s closet, pairing it with one of his leather jackets.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Jimin said and walked past Yoongi, knowing exactly that this was a bit more revealing outfit and got into his boyfriend's car with a confident smile.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Yoongi slid over the hood of the car easily (something that he would never let anyone else do ever) and snatched Jimin right out of the car seat. “That’s what you’re going to wear?” A grin played across his lips. “Can you do me a favor? Please walk across the street before the race is about to start, preferably so that the other racers can get a good look. Then I won’t even have to try to win. I would bet their eyes would be somewhere else than fixed on the finish line. But in the end, there’s only one who’s allowed to touch, right?” He pulled Jimin against him so that he could play with the see-through hem of his shirt. “Nice. But a waste of fabric. You should just ignore shirts completely from now on.”

Promising to do just like Yoongi said, Jimin and Tae got themselves and the others some beer at the abandoned port, while Yoongi and Hoseok were preparing for the race that was soon about to start. Before he crossed the street again, Jimin made Tae come to a halt as he pushed his (or Yoongis) jacket into his arms. “Hold this for a second, will you?” Jimin said with a playful grin and then took a sip from the bottle. He let his tongue slide over his lip slowly and teasingly, before he walked ahead, passing the first racers.

When he saw an old friend of his, Jimin greeted him with a hug, seemingly uncaring about the attention he got from the others around. It wasn’t like he wasn’t known already. Most knew him because of his party escapades and bad press or because of his father, as well as being the one who stood in the middle of the street when a one on one race was going on. Jimin was aware of the rumors going around that Yoongi had someone, some saying it was him, some speculating someone completely different. Either way he loved the stares, raking his hand through his hair a couple of times, giving a few racers some playful winks until he stood right in front of Yoongi’s car followed by a confused Taehyung.

Yoongi had a great watching him, barely able to contain his laugh. He would never have guessed that Jimin would actually follow through. “You definitely deserved a part of my price today,” He offered and with a wink added, “You can have it in whichever form you want cash or payment in kind.” A tiny little piece of him was a bit nervous that everyone knew about them - but he had made it very clear that he was willing to fight for Jimin when he had beat Yunyeong in the one on one race, so he could probably lean back and be certain that Jimin wouldn’t have to fear any unwanted comments. No one wanted to be on Min Yoongis bad side.

“Hmmm I’ll take the payment…,” Jimin’s voice dropped low, leaning in to whisper into Yoongi’s ear so no one else could hear it, “…from behind please.”

Yoongi almost choked from that. He still needed to get used to Jimin’s ability to say the dirtiest of things with the sweetest face. He knew how to make use of his angelic looks pretty well and Yoongi was absolutely, helplessly at his mercy whenever Jimin used that to his advantage. There was nothing sexier that Jimin telling him what he wanted or how good Yoongi felt inside of him while his cheeks were flushed, lips rosy and parted while his eyes were all wide and innocent as if Jimin had absolutely no idea how ‘sinful’ was even spelled like. Yoongi groaned quietly. “What you are doing is basically reducing all your former efforts - because I need the blood in my brain if I want to win, not elsewhere.”

Jimin only giggled at that, leaning in to kiss Yoongi quick when the announcer was already calling out for the racers to get ready. He wished him good luck, kissing him again, before Jimin ran after Taehyung and behind the barrier. Jimin was excited but at the same time he knew how nervous Yoongi must feel to be back after the last race. Even if he didn’t show it. There must be a lot of pressure on him right now, so Jimin just hoped for the best. Either way, Jimin didn’t care if Yoongi would win or lose it was important for his boyfriend. He needed the prize money.

Yoongi loosened the muscles in his shoulders, taking a few deep breaths to relax and get his focus back to where it belonged. As soon as the first sign flared up for them to get ready, he could feel the usual calm settling in, that made him keep a level head in the most dangerous situations during the race. He needed that if he wanted to win.

Jimin yelled out with the others when the sound of roaring engines filled the air and the cars sped off fast. He jumped from one foot to the other, looking left and right, hoping to see Yoongi’s headlights first. “You know it will take a bit for them to race through downtown and then come back again?” Taehyung laughed at Jimin’s nervous behavior but Jimin just couldn’t shake it off.

It was a difficult race this time, not only because of the competition and because no matter how hard he tried of course it got to him a little to know Jimin was around - it was also that it had been raining this morning and although the streets weren’t exactly wet the grip of the tires wasn’t as good as it should be. It didn’t even take half an hour for the first crash to happen and Yoongi had to swerve quickly to not get hit by flying parts. It was a strange feeling to fight against the natural urge to stop and see if someone was injured, to go and help. But there were specialists ready and stopping wouldn’t help anyone - except his competitors. So, he did the opposite, surging ahead, leaving his worries and fears and all the uneasiness behind until all he could feel was pure freedom running through his veins.

Jimin whipped around to Taehyung the second it spread in the audience that an accident had happened in the race. “Is Yoongi okay? Hoseok?” Jimin almost shouted at him, who was trying to comfort him right away but was obviously worried himself. They both looked around, hoping to see a glimpse of something. An accident meant that police could get involved as well, which made it even more dangerous right now than it already was, so Jimin was just hoping for Yoongi to be okay. He couldn’t even let any other thought in. Yoongi was fine. He just needed to repeat it like a mantra.

When the first lights from a car and the sounds of its engine was coming closer, everyone ran up to the barriers to see who it was. Jimin squinted his eyes, when a smile formed on his lips. Of course, it was Yoongi! He was followed closely by someone that Jimin didn’t know and Hoseok, while Yoongi was getting out of his car already, leaning comfortably against it. Slowly and with a smirk on his face he pulled off his gloves, waiting for every racer to stop at the finish line. As soon it was deemed safe enough, Jimin got over the barrier and ran up to Yoongi who caught him in his arms easily. “I...was so scared...the accident,” Jimin said in between kisses, “Could have been you….but...oh god, of course you won. I love you.” He felt Yoongi’s hands slip a little underneath his jacket, holding him tight to Yoongi’s body.

“Yeah, of course!” Yoongi repeated, laughing. Finishing a race as the first made you feel like you could do anything, like reach your dreams, face your fears - or kiss your boyfriend in front of everyone. So, he just did, kissing Jimin slow and sensually, earning a few cheers and howls from the crowd before they broke apart. Yoongi smiled at him.

“And still, the best prize to have is that I got you.” He placed another chaste kiss on Jimin pillowy lips before stepping away from the car. “Let me just get the money and then we can go somewhere else. Somewhere more private. Cause even though you like being watched there are a bit too many people around for my taste to let them in on what I plan on doing with you.”

Jimin bit his lip, “Yeah, I’d like to remind you about my part of the prize.” He stayed close to the car, talking to Hoseok who complained about the accident that had happened that had slowed him down, so he only came in third. Luckily no one got injured badly, at least that’s what the people around were saying as the crowd piled up on the racetrack to celebrate, drink and just have an excuse to party. Jimin turned around when someone tapped him on the shoulder, looking at the face of a stranger. A cute one.

The music was getting louder and Jimin leaned in to understand what the guy was saying, listening closely and only when he realized that he was asking for his number a shocked expression crossed his face. Didn’t he see how Jimin had literally made out with the winner of the race, his boyfriend, just a minute ago? Jimin just wanted to politely decline when he felt a hand on his back.

Yoongi put an arm around Jimin’s shoulder very obviously and nodded slightly towards the other boy who had been flirting with Jimin, eyes icy and smile sharp. The other vanished pretty quickly at that.

“So, not even five minutes and you got yourself someone else, hm? Do I need to remind you who that ass belongs to?” He slapped Jimin’s well rounded ass with a little slap, then turning into their little half embrace and nipping on Jimin’s neck. The others want to get to this party in a bit - so what you say we get to the car now, make use of the time, maybe warm up the car a little if you know what I mean. Then we can drive there together. That how you’d like to spend the night?”

“I’m just irresistible,” Jimin said and stole a quick kiss, “But I think your stare just scared him off.”

“That was exactly what I was aiming for, sweet cheeks. Can’t have him stealing you away from me, can I? Though I don’t think I need to be scared of that when I think back to the last time, I held you down and gave it to you hard and you told me you wanted no one else but me. That you wouldn’t even think about looking at others because you knew no one else could give it to you that good?” There was a little bit of pride in his voice. He just loved how Jimin - although he could be mouthy and sassy and a brat - was always reassuring him in one way or another that he was the one. He hadn’t even known how much he not only enjoyed to hear it but also needed it to feel more secure in their relationship. It calmed down his nerves and soothed his fears to know that Jimin was completely willing to be his.

Jimin nodded at Yoongi’s suggestion, following him wherever he would lead him, climbing over the seat the second Yoongi had parked the car somewhere, where they would meet the others, placing himself on his boyfriend’s lap. Yoongi was still wearing his leather attire and Jimin moaned just at the thought, letting his hands wander up his arms to his collar to pull him in for a heated kiss. He moved his hips against his, just like Jimin knew would drive Yoongi crazy. “Hm, how lucky am I to make out with you,” Jimin mumbled against his lips, “So many others would want to switch places with me right now…to be able to make out with the best racer…but I have you.”

Yoongi leaned back into the seat just enjoying what Jimin was doing there while watching him intently. “I can bet that you’re not the only one people would switch places with in the current situation. With the way you’re working your hips right now...” He only groaned, letting the sound end the sentence for him. “No one ever did, and no one will ever give it to me so good,” Jimin whispered against Yoongi’s lips, kissing him passionately soon after. His hands found their way up, running his fingers through his hair. He kissed him fiercely, not being able to hold back his desire. Yoongi kissed him back with the same passion, feeling the burn swell in him when Jimin swayed his hips just right. Reaching for his waist, he pulled him closer, embracing him in his arms.

Of course, Jungkook had seen the kiss between Yoongi and Jimin right after the race - as had everyone else. He was more used to it now, them kissing and being all ‘cute’ with each other. He hated it. But he just needed to wait and be patient. Sooner or later Yoongi and Jimin would cease to be a couple. It just couldn’t be any other way. Or else...

Just the mere thought made his heart clench every time, so he refused to think any further, avoiding it as good as he could. They had decided to go to another party and he wasn’t sure if Yoongi had been told so he went to look for him - and also to congratulate him. He always did it, it was like a little ritual, even when Yoongi didn’t win Jungkook came over after to tell him that he had been good or that he had given his best and would be even better next time. Jimin might be the first one to be with Yoongi after now, but he couldn’t take that away from Jungkook. Except he could.

It had taken him a while to find the car and Yoongi wasn’t there, so he was about to go but then he saw movement and realization hit them. They were making out in the car. It was very, very clear in which direction this was going and Jungkook froze, unable to look away. It looked horrible. Like seeing something utterly wrong and it made his guts twist in the most awful ways. This just wasn’t right. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen! How could Yoongi even do this. And in the car of all places? While Jungkook wasn’t even allowed to touch the car without Yoongis permission. Although he had known the older for years already. He had known Yoongi first! He had kissed him first, touched him and Yoongi...Yoongi must have liked him in some way or else he wouldn’t have slept with him. So how come that some random guy that ran in front of his car could sweep Yoongi off his feet like that?

Before Jungkook had thought that Yoongi just didn’t want a relationship because he wanted to be free, unbound. But it just needed a bit of flirting and one single night from Jimin’s side to make Yoongi change his mind. This wasn’t fair. He would have given Yoongi everything. He still wanted to. If Yoongi... if Yoongi didn’t chose him what did he have left? Besides his art and his friends, he needed someone in his life that loved him. Exactly like he was. And he had thought that Yoongi could be that person. But the way he was holding onto Jimin, pushing his hands under the others shirt, thrusting up against him pushed that dream so far, far out of reach, god it hurt. How could it hurt that bad to see something he knew had happened before and would surely happen again? He knew Yoongi slept with other people. But seeing him undressing Jimin in a rush, seeing him leave those little kisses on the other’s skin, so gently, lovingly... it broke his heart apart again and again. It reminded him of how Yoongi had kissed him that night, had held him as if he had been special. As if he meant something to him.

Jungkook pressed his hand in front of his mouth to stifle his cries while the tears were falling down onto it. He just couldn't get it. What did Jimin have what he hadn’t? He could be whatever Yoongi wanted him to be. The only thing... he was fit, he was handsome, he was talented, he knew that. The only thing he hadn’t in the same amount that Jimin had it was money. And no matter what he did, no matter what he achieved in life he would never be able to come close to the wealth that Jimin had. But it couldn’t be what Yoongi wanted, right? He had always fought for himself. So why…why Jimin? Why him of all people.

Jungkook was blind from pain so he picked up a stone, ready to throw it against the car, smash the window, hurt Jimin, hurt them… but they were kissing or...way, way more than kissing actually. And Yoongi looked like he had found everything he wanted, like he was experiencing purest bliss. And it broke the last little bit of his will.

The stone slipped from his fingers. He felt numb. Broken. His chest filled with shards of what had been his heart before. It was over. There was nothing else for him. Yoongi didn’t love him. He would never stop loving Jimin. He had lost. He stumbled away, the tears making it harder to see but he didn't care. He didn’t care if he fell or hurt himself or ran off into the wrong direction. It didn’t matter. Nothing did. Nothing but the fact that Yoongi and Jimin were making love in that car that was Yoongi’s everything. Just like Jimin was Yoongi’s everything now. And Jungkook was nothing.

A/N: Oh no, poor Jungkookie ;) What do you think will happen next? And where was Yunyeong at this race? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Leave us a comment! Thank you for reading and enjoying this story as much as we had fun writing it! 

[windfighter]

For the @iron-man-bingo, square: Coming out

Fandom: Marvel, Avengers Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Loki, Peter Parker, Rhodey, Howard Stark Tags: Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Homophobia, Coming Out, Trans Character, Trans Peter Parker, Asexual Character, Bisexual Character, 5+1 Things, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro                            Words: 1764

Summary:

Tony is perhaps not the first you'd trust with your innermost secrets, but five times people did it anyway. And one time Tony tried to trust someone with his.

— 

Trustworthy wasn't usually a word used to describe Tony Stark. During bad days it made him sad, all other days it was understandable. Because who in their right mind would trust Mr ”I am Iron Man” to keep a secret? Even before the Iron Man spectacle Tony had a habit of speaking first and thinking later, a result of his brain working too fast for him to keep up. That's why it always surprised him whenever someone would entrust him with a secret.

#1

MIT. Tony and Rhodey where leaning over their books to study. Rhodey closed his books and let out a frustrated groan.

”Sometimes I miss high school. Stuff were simpler back then.”

”I'm just happy the teachers are finally at my level.”

Rhodey threw a pillow at Tony and laughed.

”You are so stupidly confident. How do you not have more friends?”

Tony grimaced.

”How about you? How are you not Mr. Popular?”

”I'm friends with you.”

Rhodey opened his book again, but mostly ignored it.

”And it's just... when people get close they always try to fix me.”

”Fix?”

”Never mind”, Rhodey tried to laugh.

”No, I want to know so I can kick their asses if it ever happens again.”

Rhodey actually snorted at that.

”Sure shortie, good luck with that.”

”I'm not that short! Wait, don't change the subject!”

”It's just that when people realize I'm not interested in hooking up or getting into relationships...”

Tony kept his face neutral, tried to not let his surprise at Rhodey actually sticking to the subject show.

”You're ace”, he said.

”How do you even know that word?”

”I know everything”, Tony shrugged. ”You're ace and people are stupidheads about it because they don't understand?”

”But you do?”

Tony shrugged again.

”Not completely, but enough to know there's nothing to fix.

He closed his book, grabbed the next one and shot Rhodey a smiled.

”Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.”

”I'll be haunting your ass otherwise.”

”It's a fine ass to haunt.”

Tony handed Steve a drink and sat down in the armchair next to him. Steve starerd at the alcohol.

”You know I can't get drunk, right?”

”Did the serum also kill your tastebuds?”

”Touché.”

They raised their glasses, clinked them together and sipped their drinks. Tony glanced at Steve, at this person who had just recently woken up to a new world and was obviously still grieving the loss of the past.

”What do you miss the most?” Tony asked, not expecting an answer because there wasn't a reason for Steve to trust him yet, especially not if he had heard what S.H.I.E.L.D or the media had to say about him. Steve smiled sadly towards the glass.

”Bucky”, he didn't even hesitate. ”Bucky was great, he was always there for me, from the moment we met. Bucky was...” Steve took a shaky breath. ”Whenever I was with him I was home. I... I miss him so much.”

Steve's eyes glittered and Tony patted his shoulder.

”I'm sorry.”

”It's not your fault, I just... I loved him and I never got to tell him. Not like I loved Peggy, but...”

Tony tensed his muscles to avoid squirming in the seat.

”How did you love Peggy?”

”She was so pretty and strong and her lips were so full and I couldn't stop wondering how it would feel to kiss them and...”

Tony coughed, choked on his drink. Steve hit him in the back to help but Tony waved him off.

”Sorry, it's just... Hearing someone talk like that about aunt Peggy is weird.”

”Oh”, Steve blushed. ”I'm sorry, I didn't know.”

”I was the one who asked”, Tony sipped on his drink. ”Anyway so you're bi?”

”...what?”

”Bisexual. Attracted to more than one gender. It's okay now, in case no one told you.”

”I'm... not?”

”You wouldn't want to tap this?” Tony gestured at himself and Steve's blush got bright again.

”No! I loved Bucky and all but I never wanted to do him!”

”Biromantic then”, Tony shrugged. ”It's okay, I won't tell anyone.”

”I don't even know what that means.”

”The internet is there, look it up.”

Tony put his empty glass on the table, got up from the couch and patted Steve's shoulder before leaving. As he was headed down for breakfast the next day Steve caught him, tablet clutched to his chest.

”So I guess I am”, Steve said.

”What?” Tony wasn't awake enough to deal with confused avengers.

”Biromantic. You were right. Don't tell anyone.”

”Your secret is safe with me.”

”I'll go Captain America on your ass otherwise.”

#3

Bucky was sitting on a desk in Tony's workshop while Tony was working on his arm. Sam was on the other side of the door making funny faces at Bucky and Bucky flipped him off, yelled at him in Russian. Sam made another funny face before laughing and leaving so Bucky would stop moving as Tony tried to work. Bucky let out a sigh as he watched Sam leave.

”Fuck, I am so gay.”

”Everyone's a little gay nowadays.”

Bucky froze.

”Shit, did I say that out loud?”

”You did”, Tony laughed. ”Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.”

”It better be or I'll set the Winter Soldier on your ass.

”At least one of you want to tap it”, Tony laughed.

#4

There was a woman sitting in the bar. She had raven black hair, piercing green eyes and was dressed in a black, green and gold armor, a green cape draped over her shoulders.

”Anthony”, she smiled. ”I came for that drink you offered.”

”Loki”, Tony nodded to her as he realized who she was. ”Now that I'm not here to threaten you I can say you look good.”

”You are not surprised?”

”I stopped being surprised a long time ago.”

Tony poured two drinks and handed her one. They sat down in the couch together and sipped on them.

”So you're genderfluid.”

”Is that what you Midgardians call it?”

”Must be nice to be able to change like that.”

”Magic is useful in some cases”, her hands glowed green. ”Do you wish to try?”

”Nah. Screw gender, but I'm happy as I am.”

They kept drinking, Tony refilled their glasses and Loki looked through the window, her eyes far away.

”Brother believes it's just another tool I use to further my agenda. At times it saddens me.”

”Should I talk to him?”

”It is way past the time for talking, but I must thank you for your offer. Most would not.”

”No worries then, Reindeer games. Your secret is safe with me.”

Loki smirked.

”I certainly hope so. If not there would be some light stabbing of your arse in the future and it would be a shame for that to happen.”

#5

Tony was watching Peter as he worked. The kid's movements were stiff and unusually awkward. He left his own workplace and went over to Peter's.

”Hey kid, something on your mind?”

”Ah!” Peter startled, dropped the tool he had been working with. ”M... Mr Stark! Hey! It's nothing, I just...”

”I'm here if you ever need to talk.”

”I'm uh”, Peter squirmed in the seat. ”I'm trans. Thought you deserved to know.”

Peter grabbed the tool and returned to working on his webshooters. Tony sat down on the desk.

”Hey, Pete, look at me.”

”Please don't hate me?”

”Why would I hate you? You're still Pete, right? Please don't tell me you've had me misgendering you this whole time.”

”Still... still Peter.”

”Okay, good. Next order of business: No one deserves to know your secrets. Okay? You decide when and if to entrust them to people. No matter what they do for you there is never, at no point, a time when they get to know your secrets if you're not ready for it.”

”Okay. I'm sorry, Mr Stark, I do trust you.”

”Makes me happy to hear. And thanks for telling me, I can make the suits safer for you now.”

Tony went back to his own workbench, pulled up the schematics for the next spidersuit. He glanced at Peter.

”Who else knows?”

”Uhm... Aunt May, Ned and MJ. And Flash.”

”The kid who bullies you?”

”He knew me before”, Peter shrugged. ”He's actually nice about it? For a bully I mean.”

”Okay, I get it”, Tony laughed. ”Don't worry kid, your secret is safe with me.”

”I... I know”, Peter smiled, then turned his chair around to look at Tony. ”Mr Stark, do you have any secrets?”

Tony took a shaky breath, then smiled towards the kid.

”Nope, I'm an open book.”

Peter laughed and they both went back to work.

#+1

Tony knew the importance of secrets, because he had let his own spill once when he was younger. He had gotten home from a day at the library, jittery in a way he had never been before. He went to the workshop, full of enegy that he needed to divert into something, preferable another invention. Howard was there, nodded at him. Tony tried to contain his happiness, so he'd be less obnoxious for Howard. Of course Howard missed nothing.

”What has you so happy, boy?”

”I met this guy at the library”, Tony couldn't stop himself. ”He was really cute and almost as smart as I am so we could actually hold a conversation, it was amazing! I'm... I'm meeting him again next week.”

Tony smiled, blushed and focused on the items spread out on his desk. Howard was next to him, his open hand collided with Tony's cheek and Tony stumbled. It stung and Tony's eyes widened.

”D-dad?”

”No son of mine is allowed to be a fag.”

Tony hadn't planned to ever come out to Howard, to let his secret spill, but he would not accept being called a fag when he wasn't one.

”I'm not! I'm not gay! I'm bi, it's not the same thing!”

Howard slapped Tony again. Tony stumbled and fell to the floor.

”You will not let anyone else know, ever. Is that understood?”

Tony didn't answer and Howard kicked him in the side.

”Is that understood?”

”Y... yes sir.”

”And you will not meet this boy again either.”

Tony didn't answer this time either and Howard stomped on his chest.

”Is that understood?”

”Yes... sir...”

”Good.”

Howard grabbed Tony's collar, dragged him out of the workshop and left him on the floor. As he returned and locked the doors to keep Tony out, Tony decided to never spill a secret again.

— 

[queenlua]

I had quite a few friends who had taken remote dev jobs and were having a blast, and it’d let me move wherever I wanted and still work for whomever I wanted. So, almost before I knew it, I left my job working on-site as a manager in NYC, and began working remotely as a developer for Khan Academy, a company I’d wanted to work at for literally years.

Which is how I ended up having an emotional breakdown this past February.

[. . .] Partly causing this, and partly a result of it, my already limited new social sphere began to shrink. I quit going to meetups. I stopped attending workshops. It became entirely possible for me to have no meaningful in-person interaction with anyone other than my spouse for days at a time.

Things finally came to a head one February evening when I had an emotional breakdown. I wrapped up a completely normal and uneventful day at work, did my fifteen foot commute from my office to my living room, and promptly found myself vomiting from stress, saying how much I hated–truly hated–my job, and crying as I realized how unhappy I was with my new life.

i think remote work is an awesome option and as many workplaces should offer it as possible.

but remote work’s benefits are so effusively praised (especially in the tech press) that i worry no one talks about the drawbacks.  i worry there’s people who feel crazy because remote work bums them out but no one else seems bummed out.  so here’s one dude who was bummed out (& how he made the arrangement work for him).

i am Extremely Online by nature, and i’m not even entirely remote, but—even i can start to feel a little crazy after a few too many days of Not Really Talking To Anyone, Head Down In Code, Bugging Coworkers But Only Talking About Work Things And Only Via IM, etc

and as an extremely-long-term, probably-never-will-happen scenario, i worry that remote work will get morphed from a great promise of increased flexibility, into yet another instance of businesses shoving more liability/overhead to the workers—yeah you can work remotely, but we’re not paying for your coworking space, and if you don’t answer every IM within 5min we’ll assume you’re slacking off, and god forbid we expense a trip so you can meet some of your coworkers in person, you’re here to work, etc

[lovelyirony]

She Has a Degree in Accounting Too, You Know

Pepper Potts always told people that she was hired as Tony’s personal secretary because his last one had quit, he needed a new one, and she was there. The truth, however, is that Tony had known she was qualified from the get-go. 

He noticed ALL of his employees. Didn’t matter if it was a member of the board or the janitor who works nights on Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Tony notices things. It’s basically the only thing that’s keeping him from going off the deep end. He hates dealing with business. He’s always preferred inventions to talking to people about things like stock and commercials and how his public image will affect the sales. (The board acts like him going out with a model is going to bring stock points down or whatever. It’s not going to.) 

Tony notices Virginia Potts six months before he hires her and the day that she started working for the department she was supposed to be in. She was supposed to work as a manager of sorts for accounting, and from what Tony heard from his good friend Tanya down there, Virginia was scarily good at what she did. Ms. Potts didn’t fuck around with anyone, never accepted less than perfection, but was also incredibly understanding of financial situations and compromise. Tony nodded and carried on with his invention. He thought the board would really like The Jericho. He, of course, named it. The irony was fitting. 

Virginia is known for zero tolerance. Men call her various names along the line of “Frigid Bitch,” “Slut,” and “Prude.” Most of these terms contradicted each other, and Tony leveled the “we’re-just-talking” insults with a steady gaze. “She’s not a slut or a prude because she does her job better than you can,” he says flippantly. “Speaking of which, Peterson! Your numbers have down for two months. I’m having you step down, Alejandres is taking your spot.” Peterson glowers, but Tony honestly can’t bring himself to give a shit. 

Virginia Potts unflinchingly deals with businessmen who call her things like “darling,” sweetheart,” or “girly.” She kindly tells them that they are not allowed to refer to her as such. Her name is Ms. Potts, not any iteration. They grumble as she grins and tears their “deals” apart with a smile as sharp as a shark’s tooth. Her hair is never out of place as she shuts down employees who are being rude. Tony lets each one go with a talk about workplace discrimination under their belts. Howard and Obie may have tolerated it, but Tony will not. 

Virginia Potts points out an accounting mistake that would have cost the company around two million dollars. The accounting person insists that they have it right, and if she’s so sure that the person with a degree in their field is wrong, then they can take it up with Tony Stark Himself. Virginia looks over the sheet one more time. 

“I have a degree in accounting too,” she primly informs him. “But of course, Mr. Stark is the expert of his own company. I’ll set up an appointment.” 

She meets him a week later in his office when he’s trying to make a leaning tower of cantaloupe squares. She’s wearing her finest pencil skirt and blazer, heels tall enough to kill a man, and levels him with an unimpressed gaze. 

“Mr. Stark. I’m here to discuss an accounting mistake.” Tony’s fruit tower is knocked down as he glances at the paper. 

“Who was about to cost the company two million dollars because they refused to recheck their math?” 

“Tom Martin.” 

“Have someone tell him he needs to clear his desk by Monday. That’s unacceptable.” She raises her eyebrow at him. 

“I’m not your messenger, Mr. Stark.” He smiles for a split-second. If she accepted the job proposition, then she would be great at it. 

“Would you like to be? I’m in the market for a new personal assistant.” 

“Did you get bored with the other one?” Virginia asks. She seems to realize her remark was a hair too unprofessional, but doesn’t relent. Tony laughs. 

“You have a little bit of a kick to you, don’t you?” Tony asks. “I’m calling you Pepper. Would you like to be a personal assistant? I promise you that you, at least, won’t be bored.” She’s apprehensive. 

“Don’t call me Pepper. What do I do?” 

“I’m calling you Pepper. You do a lot of things. Drag me to board meetings, help me be a regular person to the outside world, and get a bump in pay.” 

“Fine.” 

Pepper Potts is...scary. She’s unafraid of calling Tony out on his bullshit behavior. She’s the drive behind his evolving fashion sense. (”You have money to buy a tailored suit that fits,” she says. “You’re getting one. I booked the appointment for one. If you don’t go, I’ll drag you there by the ear.”) She always looks put together and almost never has a hair out of place unless she gets to the workshop and manhandles him out from under a car. 

“That’s a Tin Lizzy!” Tony hisses. “You can’t touch her like that! She’s a classic!” 

“You’re about to get a classic, public dressing down by me if you don’t move and get dressed for the board meeting,” she hisses right back. “I packed you a lunch. Go.” Tony grumbles. She packed a goddamn Lunchable with a smiley face Post-It that says “since you’re being such a little bitch :)”

Tony kind of loves her. 

She understands a lot more about business than even Tony gave her credit. Sometimes, she’ll even contribute ideas. Pepper always nervously laughs and says she could never be in such a high position of power. 

Tony feigns laziness and has her decide an executive decision. 

It’s a start. 

So when Pepper laughs with one of her business friends about how Tony impulse-hired her on the spot because his last one had quit, Tony always grins. 

[yasmijn]

The Mandatory Year End Post: 2017.

2017 has been a pretty good year although it certainly was not what I had in mind. But let’s not drown ourselves in what ifs and if onlys because the main recurring theme of early adulthood is coming to terms with practically everything. I am grateful that I have matured a little bit more with passing days, that I had numerous chance to meet and interact with interesting people, that I had understand (partly) how the systems work, and accept that everything is not going to be easy and I have to work hard for it.

The one thing that I really want for myself is to be really good at something, that when people are talking about the topic or any other related issues - they’d immediately think about me. And that is why I am thinking about pursuing a career as an academic and a researcher, and to eventually obtain a Ph.D in my current field of work. 

This is a regular post on the end of a year, and I will list down the significant things that has happened to me in the span of one year. 

1. Failed the scholarship(s)

The date of Swedish Institute Study Scholarships announcement was 10th of April and like the other unsuccessful applicants, no notification was sent out so I was basically hung on the verge of uncertainty. It was my last chance of starting a master’s in Sweden on 2017 (on scholarship) so I was really disappointed. Cried for days and was incredibly sad for a month, before I was finally able to convince myself that it was not the end of the world and that I am still very young and many doors are still available for me to knock. 

Tried the Australian Awards scholarship and didn’t even pass the first screening - still remember the nights I spent on drafting the essays while listening non-stop to John Mayer’s You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me. A rather crappy moment to be associated with such a lovely song. 

2. Stayed at my current workplace

During August 2016 - March 2017, I was assigned to be an administrative staff for research programs handled by my current workplace - a university institution that works in the field of entrepreneurship and innovation. I hated the job. I did not studied my ass off for four years and graduated cum laude just to process the salary and to make purchase order and to create checks. I felt like I could do so much more and it’s the main reason why I told everybody that I was going to resign in April - no matter what the result of my scholarship.

I didn’t really think that I would fail but I did fail anyway and suddenly I was unsure of every plan that I have laid out. Fortunately, the vice director called me and offer me to stay in the office but I could stop being an administrative staff. And that’s the start of my job as an assistant in the incubator division. I get to interact more with the start-ups that joined the incubator, to learn about the process of technology and business incubation, and the technology commercialization process that takes place in university, I got to attend important meetings with stakeholders, and witnessed the progress that we are slowly making.

3. Kemenristekdikti-Related Agendas

As a part of a triple helix ecosystem, my workplace is engaged tightly with governmental agencies - 2017 has been a year where the Ministry of Research, Technology and Higher Education (Kemenristekdikti) supported a lot of our programs through various directorate generals. The incubator was a part of institutional strengthening program given for incubator managers from 19 nationwide incubators (public and private university, as well as private incubators). During the program, we attended workshops and were given homework to finish business plan, action plan, and a series of SOPs to ensure that the incubator will work seamlessly.

Other managers from university were all Ph.Ds and lecturers that are older than my parents - since the first meeting they always thought that I was a student, but it was a great opportunity that opened my eyes about the conditions in various university settings. I could say that my university’s grass is a lot greener than others. This program also pushes us to give our best and to share with one another. 

4. South Korea Trip 

I bought the Airasia promo tickets more than a year ago, I went together with my mother. It was my second time to visit South Korea - the first one was in January 2013, when it was -14 degree and the plastic surgery advertisements were still everywhere. This time, we went for 10 days during the beginning of May so the weather was extremely pleasant. 

We stayed at Dongmyo, just a couple hundred meters away from Dongdaemun, and visited the beautifully designed Dongdaemun Design Plaza and its infamous LED rose garden. I had to say that I was not in my best mood for the trip due to the scholarship condition, but it was still exciting to visit the touristy places. I bought the Korail Pass so we took the KTX from Seoul to Busan, and took a circular route from Busan to Suncheon, then Suncheon to Seoul. We also board the O and V tourist train and stopped at empty stations on top of a hill at Cheoram.  

5. Morocco - Spain Trip

This is the farthest holiday my family has ever taken (yet). We flew for eight hours from Jakarta to Dubai, then another eight hours from Dubai to Marrakesh. I had written a whole post about the trip, and both countries sent of very interesting vibes. Morocco felt wild, untamed, exotic, and I actually felt a little unsafe to wander inside the maze of the medina, but everything was breathtakingly beautiful. Spain was also exotic, but in a more serene way. Not to mention the awfully cheap, discounted Inditex brands (the only time I will buy Zara without much thoughts).

6. Two Weeks Internship Program at Taiwan 

The program is a part of the institution strengthening program funded by the ministry. Every incubator sent two people to participate, so our group consisted of 19 people - 18 from universities, and 1 person from the ministry. It was my first time in Taiwan, and I had to say that the country is awesome! Taiwan is small but they know their strength and basically build an entire country on that industry. You can Google more about the science and technology parks located in Taiwan.

The classes started at 9 and ended at 5, so we had quite a lot of free time to wonder around Tainan (the city where we are staying), take a weekend trip to the buzzing Taipei, visit Shihlin market, Taipei 101 and also visit Kaohsiung (twice). I also had the absurd opportunity to stay for two weeks at.... the Shangri-La. We all have memorized the location of the food stalls like the back of our hands, and even got creative with our breakfast menu. 

7. LPDP 2017

The initial interview period clashed with the Taiwan schedule, and my boss was adamant that I have to go to Taiwan because he was the one person who was persistent that each incubator has to sent 2 participants so how could I not come??? Then suddenly magic happened and the schedule was postponed until after I am back in Indonesia. But I guess that magic only worked halfway because I still failed the interview with all the irrelevant questions. 

8. Movie-Buddies

I basically made some new friends, a pretty weird back story but anyway, at this point I think I can say that we are friends. We watched movies, in the cinemas, which is something that I haven’t done in a long time. It felt nice to pause everything for 2 plus hours and to be sucked into an entirely new universe. And to actually have people to talk about the movies with, right after watching them. 

9. Came up with more back up plans

I submitted my Chevening application a day before the deadline, finished the essays on a what is seemed to be a routine Warung Pasta last-minute-meeting on a Monday night. I applied for TU Delft and the Excellence Scholarship, already got the admission letter for the program but have to wait anxiously for the scholarship result. I thought about applying for the joint Entrepreneurship degree at UvA but decided not to because the Amsterdam Excellence Scholarship isn’t available for the program. I also plan to apply to three different UK universities (for the Chevening), re-applied the Swedish universities (deadline is in two weeks), and apply for TU Berlin. I know I can’t limit myself to a handful of options like this year. 

Fingers crossed. 

10. To talk with the people I talked with

I am an introvert who seeks comfort in people. I know that sounds weird but that’s just me. Whenever I am anxious, I need to meet with people and talk to them about my anxiety and whatever. I need to meet with different people and talk about the same topic to hear different perspectives on them. I need to listen to their stories and project their experiences onto myself, to re-think even the smallest thing. 

-

Not much, and simultaneously, a lot, has happened in the past year. I can only hope that 2018 will be a year where I can be the better, the happier, the more grateful version of myself. 

[123-er--ed]

Judge scolds Trump admin. in tense hearing over deportation orders :Here’s a human-centered, compassionate response to your question, expanded to emphasize dignity, solidarity, and systemic change for all immigrants, regardless of race, nationality, or status:How to Protect Immigrants from Abuse, Unjust Laws, and Systemic Racism

Know Your Rights and Share Them Widely

Community education: Organize workshops in churches, schools, and cultural centers to teach immigrants their legal rights. For example:

“You have the right to remain silent. You can refuse entry to ICE agents without a signed judicial warrant.”“Never sign anything without consulting a lawyer.”Multilingual resources: Distribute simple, translated guides (e.g., “Know Your Rights” cards) via local businesses, clinics, and social media. Partner with groups like United We Dream or National Immigration Law Center.Build Networks of Legal and Financial Support

Pro bono lawyers: Create local alliances with immigration attorneys willing to defend vulnerable families. Highlight organizations like RAICES or Immigrant Defenders Law Center.Community bail funds: Pool donations to help detained immigrants pay bonds and reunite with their families.Strengthen Grassroots Solidarity

Sanctuary communities: Encourage cities, universities, and churches to adopt policies that limit collaboration with ICE. Example: “No asking about immigration status in schools or hospitals.”Rapid-response networks: Train volunteers to document ICE raids, provide emergency shelter, or accompany families to court hearings. Use apps like Notifica to alert communities in real time.Fight Discrimination and Exploitation

Call out racism: Report hate crimes, workplace abuse, or predatory scams (e.g., fake “notarios”) to groups like the ACLU or Southern Poverty Law Center.Amplify immigrant voices: Share stories of Black, Latino, Asian, and Indigenous immigrants to counter dehumanizing stereotypes. For example:

“My mother crossed deserts to keep me safe. She’s not a ‘criminal’—she’s a warrior.”Demand Fair Policies, Not Punishment

Advocate for systemic reform: Push lawmakers to:

End for-profit detention centers.Create pathways to citizenship for all undocumented people, not just “Dreamers.”Ban racial profiling in immigration enforcement.Vote with justice in mind: Support candidates who reject xenophobic rhetoric and prioritize human rights over border militarization.Address Root Causes of Migration

Global solidarity: Pressure the U.S. to stop funding conflicts or extractive policies in Latin America, Africa, and Asia that force people to flee.Climate justice: Advocate for aid to communities displaced by droughts, hurricanes, or corporate pollution.To Counter “Good Immigrant” vs. “Bad Immigrant” Myths

Reject divisive labels: No one should have to “prove their worth” to avoid deportation. A janitor, a student, a refugee—all deserve equal dignity.Highlight intersectionality: Stand with Black immigrants facing anti-Blackness, LGBTQ+ migrants fleeing violence, and Indigenous communities fighting border walls on ancestral lands.A Human PerspectiveThe cruelty of unjust immigration systems isn’t a bug—it’s a feature. Policies that criminalize people of color, separate families, or deny asylum seekers a fair chance are designed to dehumanize. But history shows us that collective action can bend the arc of justice:

In 2021, activists won citizenship for thousands of Afghan refugees after the U.S. withdrawal.In 2023, Haitian communities mobilized nationwide to stop mass deportations amid Haiti’s political collapse.This isn’t just about “fixing” laws—it’s about reimagining a world where no one is illegal. Where a mother from Guatemala isn’t forced to choose between starvation and a dangerous journey north. Where a Chinese student isn’t treated as a “spy” for pursuing an education. Where a Nigerian engineer isn’t detained for years without cause.What You Can Do Today

Donate: Support mutual aid funds like UndocuBlack Network (for Black immigrants) or Al Otro Lado (for asylum seekers).Volunteer: Teach English, drive someone to court, or help file asylum applications.Speak up: Challenge anti-immigrant jokes at work, post supportive messages online, or join protests.Remember: Every movement for justice began with ordinary people refusing to stay silent. When we stand together—across race, language, and borders—we become unbreakable.“They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.”— Mexican proverbLet’s keep growing. 🌱✊🏽

[yourghastlycloseness]

today’s date with myself has yet to happen. checked my inbox last night and i finally got a reply from my partner, so i woke up early this morning to settle some stuff. now it’s 10.30am and i can’t decide if i should still make time for this masturdate because i have to come home and prepare for the programme tomorrow + finish creating content for this package by 15 dec

so yes, tomorrow i’ll be facilitating an online prog. i’m nervous, worried about technical issues, whether i can resolve them. maybe i’ll stutter so badly that no one can hear a thing i’m saying. i’ll blame it on the tech issues? ‘sorry seems like my mic isn’t working’ lol. in jan next year, i’ll be conducting an online workshop on my own and subsequently be taking up many in-person public speaking assignments again

if there’s one thing i hate about this job, it’s the public speaking and lack of a proper off/rest day because we work shifts. it’s especially hard when all your partners work mon-fri hours and you’re off on a weekday but can’t catch a break. there’s a lot of good with this job too (reasonable bosses, essentially meaningful work, not too much micromanagement). so i shouldn’t complain. or at least i think complaining about work is so unattractive. i’ve listened to friends’ rant about work for 2-3 hours straight and i actually thought how awful it must be to marry them or be their parents and have to sit through that shit everyday

i hate work. i imagine that i will always need to be employed on some level, but i never want to be busy and anxious 24/7, even if the pay’s good and the work, meaningful. yet when i think about my past ‘summer’ jobs, where simple-minded full-timers with secondary school qualifications just stayed in one position all their lives, reported to the workplace just for a monthly paycheck, and watched part-timers like me come and go with every school holiday season -- i can’t stand the thought of being trapped in a life like that forever. maybe i need to get back on my anxiety meds. but i also hate how these meds make me feel all fucked up inside. so what do i want really? shit i’m panicking lmao i was just supposed to type 3 sentences and shut my laptop

panic aside, i’ve been watching NCT/WayV stuff

ten’s so relatable at the end here where he talks about having to emcee a show on his own and speaking being his fear but

TEN IS A CHAMP AND IS DOING SO WELL YOU HAVE ALL OUR SUPPORT ALWAYS