#Worst mistake of my life honestly she was such a bitch

[emositecc]

God I fucking hate Victoria the crybaby so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every page she's in, every scene, every fanart, every comic, she's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass personality on her stupid green face. Absolutely no part of her ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. Her stupid fucking dress? Who the hell wears a dress like that. Her dumb fucking lizard tail? Her shitty, annoying bastard attitude ? The three thousand percent dumbass shitass fucking haircut that no woman has EVER FUCKING SHITTY HAIR DESING HAD IN THE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate her. I hate her so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a comic or a fanart of her, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Boo hoo, I'm Bitchtoria the fuckshit whiny ass woman, woe is me. PITY ME 😢😢😢😢". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like shrek but if shrek was written by vivziepop. Your dumb fucking hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking dress and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top shitty ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene she's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a walmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know she's just a shitty fucking sad woman in a stupid fucking fan comic, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate her. I hate hier on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the bitch wife is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate her so much. I hate her so, so fucking much. I want to light her ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat her to death with her own stupid fucking punchable face. I want to punch her to death. I want to bash her brains out. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that her existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional woman

you've gone on sending me these kinds of messages in my ask box everytime i've updated my comic, even mentioning r*pe in your latest ones. At first I thought this is a bit, but now i honestly dont know. I think you need help and for your own good and mine, I'm going to be blocking you.

This probably wont stop you from reading my comic in other platforms but if you still do, please refrain from messaging me or whatnot because I will just block you again.

okay, thank you.

^ and that's not even ALL of it.

there's like 50+ more

get help.

[holylulusworld]

Designed by pain (5)

Summary: Broken hearts are hard to put back together. 8 years ago, Dean lost something he didn’t even know he had in the first place. Will he get a second chance?

Pairing: former AU!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, past break-up, a little Brit's bashing? (it's Dean), almost car accident (not really, just in case)

A/N: This was an alternative idea for the first chapter of my Bucky story: Monster-in-law masterlist. I decided to use it for a story with Dean.

Designed by pain masterlist

Designed by pain (4)

Dean, stop fidgeting!” Sam tuts. “It’s an airplane. Nothing will happen. It’s more likely that Y/N will stab you to death for following her home.”

“It’s called a romantic gesture, bitch! Maybe I was too chicken to look for her after she left without as much as a note, but this won't happen again.”

“If you wanted to find her, you’d found her in no time, Dean. Do not lie to me. I’m your brother, not someone you can easily lie to. I know you inside and outside.”

“That sounded wrong,” Dean snickers. “Anyways. I didn’t know that she left a message. Back then, I believed she didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

“Excuses again, Dean?” Sam sarcastically says. “You gave up so easily on Y/N because you let Mother feed you with lies. She wanted you back with Lisa, and you eagerly agreed.”

“I wasn’t with Lisa after Y/N left. That’s a lie,” Dean grunts. “I was with other women, but not Lisa. No relationship worked out for me, though.”

“Maybe no relationship worked out for you because none of the women was Y/N,” Sam looked Dean straight in the eyes. “Just saying. She was the one.”

Dean tries to swallow the lump in his throat. Sam is not wrong. Deep down inside Dean knows that letting you go was the worst mistake he ever made. 

“Let’s not talk for a while. I need to prepare a speech and make Y/N talk to me,” Dean looks at the ring in his hands, swallowing hard. “Do you think she will give me a chance to at least talk about what happened that night?”

“Honestly,” Sam sighs deeply, “I don’t know, man. You hurt her deeply and she had to raise your child alone.”

“I didn’t like that guy,” Dean huffs. “Ketch. He was always sneaking around Y/N, and he wouldn’t leave her out of sight.”

“Maybe he’s just attentive,” Sam grins. His brother is jealous, and this gives him a little hope that Dean will get his shit together and fix what he broke years ago. “You know. Y/N is an attractive woman. A single mom. Maybe he offers to help her repair things and clean her pipes.” 

“Not a word about her pipes!” Dean points his index finger at Sam. His nostrils flare, and his eyes darken. “If that sonofabitch touched Y/N, he’s dog food.”

“Dean.”

“Do not Dean me!” Dean snaps at his brother.

“You’ve got no right to be jealous or angry at that man. Y/N is single because you let her slip through your fingers.” 

Sam leans back and closes his eyes. It’s a few more hours before they’ll arrive in London. He will try to get as much sleep as possible before he must, help his brother get you back.

“DEAN! FUCK! You are driving on the wrong side!” Sam screams at the top of his lungs as his brother curses left-hand driving. “Christ, Dean! I told you about left-hand driving.”

“Fuck left-hand driving,” Dean flashes his brother a smirk before focusing on driving on the right side of the street. “Brits, they are crazy. Why would you want to drive on the wrong side of the fucking street! They are lunatics! All of them!”

Sam releases a shuddery breath. His life flashed in front of his eyes for a split second. “Just drive carefully, and on the right side of the street. I want to survive this trip!”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist,” Dean grins. “I’ve got this. The only problem is, I miss my Baby.”

“Well, at least this way you won’t total your car,” Sam huffs. “Please just slow down and drive us to Y/N’s home safely. I don’t want to face her with my pants soaked with pee.”

“Aw, my baby brother still pees his pants. Cute.”

“Yeah, if his brother drives on the wrong side of the street, almost killing them in a car accident!”

Dean snickers. “Sammy pees his pants. Sammy pees his pants.”

Sam punches his brother’s upper arm. “Stop that shit. We are here to talk to Y/N, not for you to make stupid jokes. Cockiness and bad jokes won’t help you win her over again.”

Dean’s smile falters, and he nods. Sam is right. You will not fall for his charms and cockiness again. Not after he let you down when you needed him the most.

“Mommy, I want eggs! I want eggs,” your son chants while you try to focus on reading the newspaper. “Mommy!”

“You’ve got the pancakes you wanted, Michael Joseph,” you fold the newspaper and give your son a stern look. It’s one of your rare days off, and you want to start it in silence and enjoy the day. “We talked about wasting food.”

“But—” he puckers his lips and batts his eyelashes. Mimicking his father. You gasp as he tells you that he’ll be a sweetheart all day if you make him eggs now.

Sweetheart. The pet name makes your heart ache.

“Please, I want eggs and bacon! Real men eat bacon,” he sniffles. “Please, Mommy. I’m craving eggs and bacon.”

“Real men?” You frown. “Where did you hear that term?” You take a sip from your cup, wondering where your son heard that term.

“Oh, I talked to your friend Dean. He called when you were asleep,” your son grins, making his cheeks dimple. “He loves pie and talks a lot about you and food. Dean said bacon and eggs are breakfast for champions. Especially when it comes with pie.”

“Dean?” You drop your cup. It chatters on the ground, making you flinch. “When did you talk to him? Why did you talk to him at all? I told you not to talk to strangers.”

“He called,” your son sniffs, unbeknownst to the pain he just caused. “And, Dean said he’s your friend. I only tried to be polite, Mommy. Dean was friendly, and I liked talking to him. He sounded like a cool guy.”

“A cool guy?” You shake your head. “No, he’s not a—” Your son looks at you, a big smile on his face when he talks about Dean. So, you bite your tongue and ignore the aching in your chest.

“Mommy, can we call him? I’d like to ask him a few questions about cars,” your son excitedly tells you Dean knows everything about the Impala he loves so much. “Please.”

“We’ll see,” you hastily say. It’s a lie, but you cannot tell your son why you don’t want him to talk to Dean ever again.

For now, you’ll do anything to keep Dean away from your son. He doesn’t know your son is his son. If he calls again, you’ll come up with a believable lie.

“Fuck, I should’ve bought flowers, right?” Dean looks at the model car in his hands. It’s a model of his car. The one his brother found online years ago. “Shit, what do I do now? I need flowers for Y/N.”

“Dean,” Sam hisses. He doesn’t want to draw attention toward him and his brother. “The neighbors are watching us. Ring the doorbell before they call the cops!”

“Not cops,” Dean snorts. “They call them Bobby here! Bobby! He’d so love this!”

“It’s a nickname,” Sam slaps the back of Dean’s head, earning a grunt and a few curse words. “Now stop wasting time. We are here. All you gotta do is ring that bell…”

Part 6

[roseworth]

You are both an Arrowfamily and Jason Todd fan account so I thought you would be the best person to ask this but: What do you think the Arrowfamily members opinion on Jason are?

ooooh i love this question.. i think a lot of people jump straight to "they would hate him" because of his fight with mia but!!! i don't think thats entirely true!!!!! some of them would hate him but not all of them </3 i feel like the people that claim they would all hate him have a fundamental misunderstanding of the arrows and what they stand for, not to mention deliberately misconstruing what the the jason & mia fight actually was and pretending it was a lot worse than what actually happened. but thats just my opinion

ollie absolutely would hate him though lmao. he would never get over the fact that jason kidnapped, fought, & tried to blow up his daughter. no forgiveness ever. if jason HADNT fought mia though i think ollie would like him or at the very least tolerate him. ollie very clearly has no issue with murdering bad guys (as seen in ga88) and would be completely on board with anyone who goes out of his way to fuck with batman constantly <3 also in my humble opinion ollie shouldve been a cosmic mistake in countdown due to him coming back to life because parallax put him back together, which would have been hilarious and would absolutely have ended in them getting along (until jason goes through like his fifth breakdown in that book, because he would absolutely lash out at ollie after watching that one version of bruce die. but thats a whole separate tangent)

dinah also would hate him for trying to kill mia, but probably not as intensely as ollie. but even without that issue i dont think dinah would like him, mostly because hes the worst and i dont think dinah would have the patience to put up with him. she wouldnt have a huge problem with the killing (she wouldnt NOT have a problem with it but i really dont think it would be an unforgivable issue for her), but she would just think hes kind of an asshole about it and she wouldnt like him at all. i also think theres a panel somewhere where jason says that dinah told him she hates him personally?? idk ive only seen screenshots of it but i think its funny so im incorporating it into my belief system

with roy... i feel like there are so many people that see rhato and swing to the opposite side of the pendulum and say that roy would hate jason but i dont think thats true at all. im a rhato hater because that is Not Roy so we're disregarding that, but i still think they would get along tbh! given that roy is deeply in love with a serial killer i think that the people who say he would hate jason are misunderstanding who roy is. i think when theyre both in character they actually have personalities that would mesh well together and they COULD get along really well. i dont see roy having a Big Problem with jason killing people (he would try to stop him from doing it but murder wouldnt be a dealbreaker for roy) so i think its fair to say they would actually get along!!! but i bitch and complain every time they show up in the same panel because now the damage has been done from rhato so i dont want them to interact in canon. only in the secret world in my head. in regards to jason fighting mia, i dont know how to say it but,,, i dont think roy would have a huge issue with it. he certainly wouldnt be happy about it but also he wasnt there so i feel like all he would know about it was that jason kidnapped mia one time but mia was fine. honestly i think that he would be more interested in brothers in blood bc dick would def mention that jason murdered people in a nightwing costume then turned into a tentacle monster and tried to eat someone but dick forgave him anyway. and once he hears that suddenly the mia thing seems inconsequential in comparison

with connor... i cant lie im a little biased because connor is a member of my dream outlaws team but i really think they would at least kind of get along! connor is not the type of person to hold a grudge at all so once mia forgives him (which ill get into in a sec) connor wouldnt have a problem with him. he WOULD have a problem with jason killing people but he's close with eddie so clearly he doesnt have that much of an issue with working with people who have killed before as long as they dont kill in front of him. and i think that jason has a healthy respect for anyone who can beat him in a fight and because of that he would not kill anyone when hes around connor. i also think that connor and jason would never fight because connor would never throw the first punch and jason would never start a fight that he knows he cant win (but thats once again a whole separate tangent). basically i dont think they'd be besties or anything, i dont think theres a world where they'd ever even consider themselves friends. but i do think they'd get along well enough to not hate each other

okay now finally mia. kind of a controversial take but i really think she'd forgive him for kidnapping her! she absolutely would not forgive him IMMEDIATELY because it fucked her up so she would be pissed about it for a while, but also? i think she completely understood what he was trying to do. he wasnt really hurting her specifically (like yeah he hurt her but he made it a fair fight and he wasnt beating down on her or anything. she also hit him so it evens out) and he was actually trying to talk TO her and relate to her. and it was working!!! he didnt force her to do anything except fight (in a fight where he untied her and gave her her weapons), so once she got some distance from the event i think she'd forgive him. it would take a while for her to actually forgive him enough for them to actually get along, but i genuinely think they would. theyre extremely similar people and i think they would really be good friends if given the chance, but it would take a looooong time for mia to be comfortable enough to be around him enough to consider him a friend since the fight definitely fucked her up. but it is possible for them to eventually be close, and i think they could be really good friends

honorable mentions: - i dont know emiko well enough to know for sure (i havent read new52 or rebirth green arrow so i havent read much with her </3) but from what i know i think they would get along - lian would have no opinion of him whatsoever. at most she sees him as her uncle's brother. i truly dont think she'd care enough about him to form a positive or negative opinion about him - i dont like sienna so i dont want to acknowledge her but for the sake of the post. she doesnt like jason because dinah doesnt like jason and she says "i hate everyone that black canary hates <3" - cissie is not a member of the arrowfamily but she wouldnt like him because she absolutely would have an issue with any murderous vigilante given that she almost killed someone one time and had a huge breakdown, so anyone that kills people for the Greater Good and continues to do so would not sit right with her - i have absolutely no basis for this but shado would hate him for no reason. no specific beef with him about his morals or his actions, she just wouldnt like his vibes. sorry to talk about rose (no im not) but she would see rose hanging out with jason and go "im so happy for you and your ugly fucking boyfriend im serious" - eddie and jason would get along like a housefire. there is not a doubt in my mind that they would bond instantly (ok not instantly because they both hate everyone and would probably start with trying fight each other. THEN they would bond) and it would be catastrophic for everyone involved 🫶

ok i think thats everyone. or at least everyone that matters. never forget that all my opinions are 100% correct at all times

[fox-from-fairytale]

Some of my personal considerations regarding Lilly in The Final Season.

⚠️ Warning: this is a long post ⚠️

Before going on I want to say that, while it's obvious that the teams working on the series must have changed for every season (or even in the middle of them), I have absolutely no idea if there are some people that were there for Season 1 as well as The Final Season. Each game feels different from the previous, and so I'm going to treat the writer teams accordingly.

While replaying these four games I was torn about Lilly's return. I did miss her through the other seasons, and I actually couldn't wait to see her again, even if I was aware already that the way she was written in the last one wasn't... the best, to say the least. This annoys me a lot because, as we see with what they have done with Clementine, AJ, their relationship and the new characters, Lilly's poor writing then clearly isn't due to the writers being incompetent, since they aren't.

Now I've completed the whole series, and while I do prefer the concept of The Final Season to Season 2 and The New Frontier (this is simply because of personal preference, of course; I do like all four games), it's also the one that disappoint me the most, and mostly because of what they have done with Lilly.

Long story short: not only I believe that the writers didn't understand Lilly's character, but that they didn't even try to.

First of all, I think they made her come back not because there is more to tell about her character (and there is more to tell about her; her arc didn't feel finished when she leaves/is abandoned in Season 1, and for what they have done with her, it remains incomplete), but because they needed someone who is still alive from The Season With Lee, so that they could make as many references as possible. I know that Christa was the other option for filling that role, and I don't know if they stated why they decided to go with Lilly in the end, but I wouldn't be surprised if they based their choice just on how much Lilly is (unrightfully) hated among the players and considered "crazy" by them; people can't deny that they must have easily put her in the antagonist's role since players already think she's one.

Honestly, what I hate isn't even the fact that she's the antagonist of this season (even if it does annoy me that this is the way they made her return, and maybe I'm "okay" with it simply because I'm used to her being treated like one). What these games have always shown with all their characters, Clementine especially, is that while this apocalyptic world can bring the best out of people, it can also (and more often) bring out the worst. Because of this, every single character of this game is morally grey, but while the male characters are often praised and in some cases their actions are even justified, what happens with the female characters is the opposite, Lilly included.

The players love to pretend that Lilly is some sort of "crazy evil bitch", but she isn't. In Season 1 she is a tough and strict leader of the motor inn's group, and she doesn't take any bullshit lightly, but why should she? They're in a deathly situation, and even a small mistake can cost their life. She's also the only one who took the responsibility to distribute food, but just because she doesn't want more mouths to feed it doesn't mean she'd survive at the expense of other people: she doesn't like that Kenny/and Lee uses a girl screaming in pain to keep the walkers at bay, and she doesn't want to take the stranger's supplies. Moreover, just because her father says or do something, it doesn't automatically mean that she is on his side, like she explains far from Larry. Speaking of which, regardless if her relationship with her father is idyllic or awful, losing him in such a brutal way, and when she firmly believes she can actually save his life, can traumatise anyone. She is left with nothing, the only family she had is gone, and then she loses the only other thing she is trying to defend so desperately, and again because of someone within her own group. I'm not saying that killing Carley/attempting to kill Ben was a good thing to do, but you can't seriously consider her an "evil bitch" solely for a single action, which she has done as a result of a mental breakdown. From her point of view she has been betrayed two times from the same people she actively tried to help doing one of the most stressful tasks, and none of these same persons seems to care about what happened both times.

After that she's abandoned/leaves the group, and apparently she remains alone for years, until she finds the Delta. It shouldn't be too unbelievable for Lilly to be willing to do anything to defend her home, especially considering what happened the first time and what she must go through before joining the Delta; a solitary life in that type of world can make anyone become ruthless, and again, we see it with Clementine especially, and apparently her new community is at risk because of a group "worse than hers". However, while Clementine does have a "turning point" from this path (killing Helen at the ranch), Lilly clearly doesn't.

So it's not exactly what she does, but the way she behaves while doing it that I don't like. They wrote Lilly too over the top: certain lines she can say are even childish, while her actions in the third episode are vicious. That's not her anymore.

My problem with the way she was written doesn't start immediately. In Suffer The Children (second episode) there are moments where it feels like the Lilly from Season 1 is there. We don't have much time with her though, just a few phrases about the past and then we run to move the plot forward. I don't think she was well written here either, considering what she says about Lee with whom she could have had a good relationship and even possibly cared only about him and Clementine by the third episode (as stated by other characters), it's simply better than the other episode.

The first time I've played Suffer The Children I was hopeful for the way they could have handled things with Lilly in the next ones though, only to be disappointed. Based on the interactions in this one (remembering her or not/taking her hand or not/telling her we were family once or whatever the other two options says) I expected two paths: one where she becomes fully the antagonist of the season and a "redemption arc". This seemed to me what Telltale was going for, and maybe it was the original intention, and because of what happened to the studio it's already a miracle if they completed the game at all, but this doesn’t make me feel any less disappointed in the final result to be honest.

Broken Toys (third episode) is the one I have most issues with. Not only there isn't a single moment where she resembles the Lilly from the first season, but here she doesn't even remind me of the Lilly from the previous episode. They switched her character with a cartoonish type of villain basically; if she seems to have depth and layers it's because she's supposed to be a character that already has depth and layers, not because the writers of this season gave them to her, nor because they were able to use what the writers of Season 1 created.

With this episode the writers fully embraced the distorted version of Lilly players created, the "monster" who is "crazy since the beginning" that killed Carley/Doug simply because things didn't go the way she wanted. They removed from her every bit of humanity she had, and catered to the crowd that claims she's evil. The way she talks about Minerva and Sophie specifically, and how pleased she looks when Minerva reveals that she killed her own sister, is something that actually makes me hate the writers; they turned Lilly from someone who do what she does solely for her community's survival to this manipulative bastard who takes pleasure into others' suffering. Honestly? What they did it's vile; turning her into that and making her treat kids like that was vile.

If you spare Lilly you can have a miserable little conversation that gives nothing to the player. Her whole presence in this game, in the end, gives us nothing: we learn nothing more about her (other than the fact that it's confirmed that Larry was an abusive father, and they've done it in the worst way possible, making it sound like the stupidest thing), and her being in this season only ruins her character.

I wish they didn't ruin Lilly. I wish they actually cared about her character. In a possible redemption arc scenario she could have helped Clementine, who could have been her "turning point", making her realise what she was doing, what she was becoming.

With this I'm not saying I wish they created a flawless version of her, but that they maintained her flaws instead of creating more and more until she became someone else entirely, going from morally grey to a villain, even. Also, like they made sure you could have a good relationship with Kenny in Season 2 (where regardless of everything you do and say they force the characters to be in good terms), they could have given us the same possibility with Lilly in the last season (where regardless of everything you do and say they force the characters to despise each other).

I wanted Lilly's return not only because, along with Clem, she's my favourite, but also because she has much more to give. Instead they took such a complex character just to strip her of all her humanity and depth so that they could have a flat villain everyone already hate.

[box-dwelling]

So i bully Phoenix for being a bottom a lot but I thought I'd do a post of my other NSFW head canons for AA. Maybe I'll add to this as I get through the series

1: FranMaya is Brat/Brat tamer. I don't even know if I think this needs an explanation. I feel like if you have a passing understanding of who both those characters are and what a Brat and brat tamer are you understand where I'm coming from. I also think they're terminally on again off again. Fran doesn't have like as much of the terminal run away instinct her brother does but like, I think she does break up with Maya the second she gets even slightly annoyed at her. Maya doesnt chase her because she thinks she's over reacting but then the next time they see each other they immediately have sex again. Maybe this works out eventually but I think there's a good while where this is the dynamic. And literally no one knows if they're dating, even them. Like sometimes Maya's like, "yeah she's just sulking, we're still together" and Fran is like "Maya Fey was the worst mistake of my life", because she left a burger wrapper on the counter for 0.25 seconds, and other times Maya's like "she's gone for good this time. It's over" and Fran is just "I still love her I just need to show boundaries" where the boundary is the Atlantic ocean. I think they're toxic and have amazing sex and good for them honestly.

2) Maya Fey and Phoenix Wright 1000% talk about and compare the sexual abilities of the Von Karma siblings. They fucking meet up get drunk and bitch about it and I cannot be convinced otherwise. When Fran and Miles find out instead of being violated they instead just go "but I'm better then him/her right?" (Fran is better for reasons I will now expand on.

3) Miles Edgeworth is painfully vanilla in bed. Listen Ace Edgeworth head canoners I love you and I am kissing you on the mouth but

I do not think he is ace, I think the man is just weird. I am certain Miles Edgeworth calls sex intercourse. If Miles Edgeworth were not the most homosexual human being to walk the planet earth the concept of sex that is not PiV for the express purpose of procreation would make the man faint. Despite this he is hopelessly sexually attracted to men and does not know how to handle it. He has either never seen any porn in his life and turns the TV off during sex scenes or does watch the most vanilla gay porn imaginable and treats it as his deepest darkest secret. And let me add, his attraction to men is not the aberration to him, this isn't an internalised homophobia thing, this is just the deepest sexual representation humanly imaginable and he would be equally weird if he had any attraction to women. Hand holding before marriage seems a step too far for him. He calls dating courting. I am fully convinced he would ask Phoenix's parents permission before allowing himself to even look the man in the eye when he realised he had feelings for him. Do I think this would last when Phoenix actually started sleeping with him? No. I think given Phoenix has proven himself to be pretty kinky he would bring it up, Miles would be a very awkward Dom for like one scene and then start to get over himself and realise this is another way he can do his favourite thing in the world, bullying Phoenix. Their sex life picks up a bit after that

[suicidalgamergirl]

Emotional Support Vampire

Finally I get our vamp boy to arrive. Credits of this chapter are from this Fan Wiki.

https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Rite_of_Profane_Ascension

*****

“Vaness,” a voice chilled, “the worst a man can get.”

Not this. She did not want this.

She turned around, seeing her parents. They were giving disapproving looks at her.

“We made you go to a great university,” her parents said, “then you wasted it all on your ridiculous doodles in your notebook! You are such a disappointment.”

She wanted to scream. She wanted to reason with her parents. But nothing came out from her lips.

She then saw Ken looking at her.

“Dumb ugly bitch,” Ken stated, “too annoying for even a lay.”

She put her hands on her ears, trying to stop the voices.

But they wouldn’t stop. She found herself standing on a stage, confronting an audience that started heckling and hollering at her. Cowering, she still had her ears covered. Why were people like this?!

She was an adult! Their voices should mean nothing! She doesn’t have to listen to them!

“Die,” a voice rang to her as a command.

After hearing that word, the audience started chanting that simple three letter word. 

Die. Die. Die.

Kneeling on the stage, she felt a noose was placed around her neck. Maybe this was going to be how it must end. Everyone was right about her. 

She smelled a fragrance lingering around her as the noose was tightening around her neck.

Bergamot, a sweet lemony bitter orange. 

Rosemary, a herb she used in her cooking class to stuff meats that were going to be cooked. Also used for protection against demons.

And Brandy?

The hell?!

*****

The scent of that strong liquor woke her up. She had tears running down her eyes. She hated having nightmares. They made her feel childish. Made her feel like a failure as an adult. Made her feel that she deserved a pathetic life.

“Gods darling,” a voice said, “you’re finally awake.”

Darling? The minute she heard that, she flung herself out of the bed and fell on the floor.

Trying to get herself together, she stared at her bed. There was a pointy eared, skin as snow, and white haired gentleman with red eyes, looking at her. He is wearing a fancy embroidery outfit that has a set of red dragons across his vest. 

Wait a sec…

Pointy ears, red eyes, and pale skin complexion?

Holy shit! There was a certified vampire in her bed! She wasn’t going to be a juicebox today. She stumbled to get herself up. She didn’t have crosses and rosaries. Nor the occasional garlic. 

But she had one thing that could easily make this intruder meet his match.

The sun.

Heading to the bedroom window, she was finally going to take control of her life. She pulled on the curtains to reveal the glorious beams of the sunlight to fall on her bed. This vampire had finally met his match. He is going to become literal toast.

Nothing happened.

“You know darling,” he mused as he lay on her bed, “you could have been a little more creative with your death threats. Is this honestly how you treat your guests?” 

“Well e-excuse me!” she replied, “It’s not like I expect my guests to lunge at my neck at any minute! Or goes nuts after a simple papercut!” 

“Touche. Though, this is all your fault by the way. You just have to accept the consequences of your actions.”

“My actions? I tried to help…”

She stopped as she was dumbfounded by her words. That albino bat she found. Poor little thing that was being attacked by mean dogs that didn’t know any better. The little bat that was annoyed with her while she was taking care of his wounds. 

She fell on her knees, eyes still wet from her tears. What a dumbass.

“I’m such an idiot,” she said.

“Finally admitting your mistakes is on the path of self improvement,” he replied as he was starting to mock himself as a therapist, “you humans are very stupid at times. It might have been a miracle your species survived a millennium without them blowing the planet up.”

This was going to be a very long and interesting weekend.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

i feel like nintendo tried to make Zelda perfect because of misogyny. which has always been a thing in Zelda games especially directed at Zelda as a concept and character (trapping her in crystals or statues. that you have to find her etc) it's the same age old female characters cannot have any flaws or else they're a selfish bitch. i wish we saw her be angry at rauru or something but i guess that would go against the narrative. most Zelda games at least had her show some of her emotions besides sadness ... sometimes, this one just didn't show much even if i adore her and will go and find little things in the crevices of this very black and white writing, because i know fans will always turn on her despite the fact that shes also in the writers whims while link who also follows the established status people complain about but gets no shit at all (which i also think he should not get shit for lol)

Yeah, I agree it's definitively a thing in the way female characters are written. However, BotW did show that fans could absolutely care about a less-than-perfect version of Zelda (honestly, so did Skyward Sword, Spirit Tracks --hell, even in Ocarina of Time she makes pretty crucial mistakes). Sonia is handled in the same way Zelda is too: she is paper thin, with the veneer of a more Girlboss personality that never actually meshes with the plot in any way (so it could be removed without consequence, which is a pretty good sign her writing is inorganic imo), since her only function in the story is to get killed so Ganondorf gets a stone, and Rauru gets his tragic arc.

I fully agree the series has its issues when writing women, even up until pretty recently (I'll shut up about gerudos for once in my life and be annoying about something different for a change: but BotW!Paya always made me feel pretty uncomfortable personally, as she's so overtly a character written to be a sexual fantasy before being a person, and I feel like the series didn't dare sailing these waters in quite a long time --OoT being the worst offender imo). But Zelda herself had far more interesting iterations in the series that the casual audience give her credit for, even if she does get damseled left and right and used as reward/motivation --but I feel like it's not always handled in a way that deshumanizes her, there had been interesting iterations on this idea in the series as a whole. Which is why Tears of the Kindgom feels so.... regressive to me? The series used to be much better at handling its female characters --this series gave us Midna! A character that starts off by insulting and demeaning us, mocking our powerlessness by physically embodying our terrified, kidnapped friends and using the player as a mount by force! And she's almost universally agreed-upon as one of the best written characters in the series!!

So yeah, to me, while this absolutely doesn't negate the issues this series has with its female characters, it really is a TotK problem specifically.

[realpontchartrain]

How the fuck did you get into Harvard when I can’t even get into community college.

Again, my mom. As soon as I finished elementary school at age 10, my mom pulled me out of public school and decided to homeschool me instead (worst fucking mistake ever). At age 14, I was finally able to enroll in a self-paced program to earn my high school diploma and everything. Because I had been so alone and bored at home up until then (because my mom sure as fuck wasn’t actually teaching me shit at home, nor was she making sure that I got adequate social interaction), I had blown through the entire program in only 3 months since the date I enrolled (I enrolled on my 14th birthday and graduated on October 30th, I’ll always remember that because I was pissed that I didn’t wait a single day to take my final exam so that I could graduate on Halloween lmao).

Once I earned and payed off my official diploma, she took me to enroll in a local university where I began studying criminal justice (because she wanted me to become a cop just like her). After a year and a half or so, I decided that I wanted to try my luck at Harvard. Why not, the worst they could say was no. I just knew that I wanted more out of life and my college education, so I went for it. We rocked up to Harvard like, “yo, I have an accredited high school diploma and almost two years worth of college credits to transfer. I make pretty good grades, have an interesting story to tell, and have something unique to bring to the classroom (which is what Harvard looks for above all else). Therefore, I would like to transfer my credits and become a psychology major instead.”

The initial problem was that I was 15 at the time, nearing 16. They were wondering if that shit was even allowed, because they had never had a 15 year old kid with a wholeass high school diploma and nearly two years worth of college credits already looking to transfer. I had this same problem at the first university I attended — I wasn’t just a dual-credit student or someone on a scholarship, I already graduated and was halfway through my college degree and was seeking to get fully admitted into a degree program at their schools at that age. So, the president of Harvard and shit had to get together and discuss whether or not any of that shit was allowed. They eventually concluded that they never said that a degree candidate had to be a certain age in order to apply and enroll, and so they decided that they had to let me in given that I had all other qualifications and exceeded other expectations as well.

After I was admitted, Harvard then went behind my back and updated their rules to specifically mention that one has to be 18+ in order to apply, or must meet EXTREMELY strict standards for admission otherwise, which I always found funny. Soon after I finally enrolled, life went to shit with my grandma getting sick, me getting hooked on drugs to try and keep up with my mom using me as her personal bragging tool and trying to live her life through me, and my brother acting a fool. Then my brother committed suicide and my grandmother died four months after, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I temporarily dropped out, and eventually burned out altogether. I turned to drugs and crime and fucking my entire life up, along with my mom pimping me out when I was 19 and my husband getting trapped in Si-fucking-beria for years after I had just married him.

I have yet to graduate. I honestly don’t know if I ever will, or if i’ll ever take the official L and drop out for good. I’m still trekking along however, and I used to just take my classes one at a time online until I finally got my shit together (buying a home, getting settled, popping this child out my pussy, etc.). Disregarding what that one white bitch said; yes, Harvard IS hard. There was no way I could take on a full class load every semester with everything I had going on, so i was just dragging my degree along like a snail. I guess I don’t mind — they’re giving me the opportunity to study online and take however many classes I want per semester, and so I chose to take one at a time until I could finally handle more.

But yeah, now i’m a double major and picked criminal justice back up on top of psychology, and am now focusing on juggling work and school. I don’t know when or if i’ll ever graduate, i just know it’ll be a miracle if i ever do lmao

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

my shameless hot takes! (please don’t hate me):

fiona was the best character on the show, and it was always intended to focus on her pov. that’s why the show took a dramatic nosedive in quality after she left.

lip wasn’t a horrible person for yelling at her a few times. he wasn’t always considerate or kind, but fi made mistakes and deserved to be called out. being a fiona stan doesn’t mean i ignore her flaws.

debbie was the worst character on the show season four onwards. she was annoying, selfish, and often unnecessarily cruel. she was also a subpar (if not straight up bad) mother. also we don’t talk enough about how she is literally a rapist???

fiona and jimmy-steve should have been endgame.

gallavich is cute and mickey is such a wonderful character but ian is the most annoyingest guy ever.

speaking of which, the gay jesus storyline was literally the worst thing to ever happen to shameless and literally makes me cringe every time i think about it.

mandy was a legitimately compelling and interesting character and deserved better. lip and mandy honestly should have been endgame.

on that note, tammy is the most annoying person on the planet oh my fucking god. lip should not have stayed with her, she was an annoying, controlling, stuck-up bitch. they should’ve had split custody of freddie and gone their separate ways.

fiona was the kids’ mom. and they never appreciated her for everything she did.

sheila was a hugely important and delightful part of the show and her loss was genuinely devastating. however, her relationship with jody was weird af.

carl’s growth and storyline was impeccable; one of the best in the show. however, it weirds me out to think of him as attractive because we watched him grow up!

liam deserved better! he was always treated as an afterthought in the later seasons, and the others never accepted or encouraged his attempts to connect with Black culture. also, fiona should’ve taken him with her when she left since she was his legal guardian.

kev and v were the best couple on the show! however, kev was in the right during the whole argument after the girls were born; v wasn’t the most attentive or caring mother at first.

none of the age difference / power dynamic couples were okay or hot or romantic or whatever. ian x ned and ian x kash was abuse and statutory rape. lip x that teacher in s3 was statutory rape. lip x helen was an abuse of power. debbie x tommy was weird on his part and also rape. the woman at the shrimp place sexually harassed carl. fiona x mike was an uncomfortable power dynamic. karen x frank wasn’t funny, it was predatory behavior that culminated in rape. none of this was funny or hot or okay.

lip was at his best in college, and should’ve gone back at a different school when he got sober. the bike shop was a weird turn.

fiona could have been a good businesswoman but failed because she tried to take risks without anyone else’s support. most of her business blunders were not her fault. and on that note, although she should’ve asked the kids first, it was her right to take a mortgage out on the house. it’s her house. she’s run it her entire life.

however. fiona baby why are you ok with capitalism stop it…

frank was abusive and neglectful. monica was emotionally manipulative and neglectful. grammy was abusive. it’s okay to feel bad for them as characters (i definitely felt bad for frank when he had dementia) but they are child abusers first and foremost.

frank probably would have been successful and happy if he’d never met monica.

seasons 1-3 was the golden era of shameless. as soon as it ventured into more of a comedy/weird ass political commentary show, it really veered away from what made it special: its gritty, honest, and vulnerable look into a family in poverty, bound together by love. that’s what made it so, so good.

[swabian-princess]

Personal story time: how I learned the hard way to never mix business and private and why it is important to move in silence

Hey girlies,

I think we all know that feeling, something super exciting happend: you got an interview for the job you’ve wanted for ages or you think your boyfriend is going to propose soon.

Well, what’s your first instinct? Correct – tell the good news to the next best person you come around.

I get it, really, but that’s the worst thing you could do. I think many of you agree with me and think, okay – I am not gonna tell just anyone my business, I’ll just tell it my best friend!

F a l s e.

I just had to learn it the really hard way that you can’t trust anyone, not even your best friend.

I know this girl for almost three years – yeah, that’s not that long – but we’ve been inseperable since day one. She literally had her own room with her own bathroom in bfs and my apartment because we spent so much time together.

I was always there for her, after every messy breakup, after every fight with her other friends or her family. When money was tight for her I would always pay for her groceries and toiletries without wanting anything in return. She was like my sister and I really thought that she felt the same for me.

Long story short: I got her a job at my current place and soon after everything went downhill. As many of you know, I work in the medical field in Germany – which means that I work mostly with woman because not many men pursue this career here (besides from MDs ofc).

Slowly, she started to side with the other girls, against me. In the beginning it wasn’t that obvious but whenever some oft he girls had anything to say about me she wouldn’t even bat an eye and try to defend me. Mind you, that’s the girl that told me several times that loyalty means everything to her. I also stopped speaking to at least three people because she got beef with them.

The manager of us girls is a bitter jealous bitch and doesn’t like me because I basically have everything that she wants for herself, yes – she told me that herself and yes, I couldn’t believe my ears.

Anyway, my so called best friend has nothing better to do than to befriend this girl and to talk shit behind my back.

Honestly, I am very heartbroken because of this situation but I won’t beg for anyones friendship or attention.

Please, girls – don’t make the same mistake I did. If there is something on your mind, write it down first so it is out of your head.

You can tell everybody about it after you got your dreamjob and have the engagement ring on your finger!

Also, if you click with a person that already works at your workplace, that's fine - spend time outside of work together but never fucking ever get your other friends a job at your workplace.

I am really excited for the coming weeks and months tho, since I’m most likely gonna quit and either live my best life as a stay at home girlfriend or start over in an office.

Selene

[scheodingers-muppet]

welcome back to stranger things characters/ships as songs. this episode; GUTS !

all-american bitch - nancy. the battle between trying to be something society likes while still being a strong woman. she’s very much girl-next-door, americana-dream coded

bad idea right? - steddie. specifically used to be dating in secret steddie. this song just really reminds me of steve talking to robin getting ready to go hang out with eddie again after not talking for months

vampire - s2 stancy, from nancy’s pov. i adore steve, but he wasn’t a great boyfriend to nancy. in this season, she is so clearly struggling with barbs death and he just wanted to move on. “how’s the castle built of people you pretend to care about?” “i’ve made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine” nancy blames them for barbs death, the worst mistake, and steve is “making it look fine” by trying to just go back to normal. “every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news” “how do you lie without flinching?” and the dinner scene with barbs parents

lacy - ronance. nancy about seeing robin with steve, thinking she’s jealous that she gets to have steve, when in reality she’s falling for robin and jealous that steve gets to have her. i can also see this being from robins pov without the jealousy undertone.

ballad of a homeschool girl - el. just feeling awkward and like you don’t know what to do in social situations fits so well with growing up as an actual science experiment. plus, “everything i do is tragic, every guy i like is gay”

making the bed - will and el about mike. first half is will. “another thing i ruined i used to do for fun” and the dnd fight. “another conversation with nothing good to say” and the season 4 fight. “another day pretending i’m older than i am” “another perfect moment that doesn’t feel like mine” airport scene. “another thing i forced to be a sign” “push away all the people who know me the best” second verse is el. “my life feels so out of control” “i tell someone i love them just as a distraction. they tell me that they love me like i’m some tourist attraction” “i got the things i wanted, it’s just not as i imagined.” “i’m so tired of being the girl that i am. every good thing i have turns into something i dread”

logical - joyce and lonnie. i can also see max and billy if you ignore the romance love and make it a little sister loving her older brother, but i think joyce fits a bit better. i could also see maybe karen and ted

get him back! - steddie again. steve is just so teenage girl pop coded. but in my little used to be secretly dating au, this is very much right when he’s realizing he still has feelings for eddie

love is embarrassing - going right back to my steddie au. i might right a whole fic honestly. this would be from eddie’s perspective

the grudge - max about billy AND will about his dad. i desperately need people to dive into that dynamic more.

pretty isn’t pretty - honestly, robin is the closest i can find. or maybe a trans!stevie

teenage dream - nancy. it’s so nancy coded. the whole first verse is written in nancy’s diary.

[julesnichols]

Bestie I wanna know what's the worst decision you've ever made and what's the best

Oh boy. I'll start with best because worst is Difficult lmao

Best: unironically, watching Snowpiercer. It got me out of a bit of a creative slump, but more importantly it introduced me to some very important people in my life who I'm glad to know now, so no matter what the show does it's about the friends we made along the way etc etc y'know? So, worth it.

Worst: hoo boy lmao there are So Many. I don't even know where to start honestly. I've made a lot of terrible decisions but there's very few that I wish I had a time machine to go back and fix because as much as where I've ended up kinda sucks and I've made a lot of mistakes, I don't wanna think about my life without the good things in it that I've now found. I also don't really wanna copout of this though. So. Let's go with a funny one then, I guess:

So circa the end of April 2017, I had to do a silly little group project for one of my classes where we made a skit etc anyways my group project buddy was a very cute, but very straight, girl. We couldn't manage to find a time that worked except after class one night, and we'd decided to work in the library till we got it done. Now keep in mind I was 21 and had zero self preservation at that time in my life.

It was raining heavily that night and the library was across campus, but also she wanted coffee so we stopped in the cafeteria first because there was (allegedly) a tunnel to a building closer to the library. In fact, dear reader, there were actually several tunnels, and we accidentally chose the wrong one. This led us out into what can only be described as a concrete ravine, one building we came out of, one across from us, and a long winding road back up to the top of main campus. Neither of us particularly wanted to turn back, but it was pouring. And so, she turned to me and asked if I didn't mind climbing up the building across from us to get there faster.

Now, two things:

1. It was not a straight up angle. It was at a very steep angle, but not straight up, and there were bumps for aesthetics that could be used as handholds; it was clearly, however, not meant to be climbed either because you kinda had to hop onto it and there was a rail at the top. I do have a photo actually, albeit it it doesn't do it justice:

Unfortunately I didn't take any photos at the bottom, which would've probably given a better idea of the angle; I'd been at the top before, where the angle is deceptive. Anyways, my lack of forethought to take photos at the bottom brings us to point number 2

2. In finding this girl cute, I could not say no to her when she wanted to avoid the rain as much as possible

So anyways, I follow her up. We're both soaking wet and have giant backpacks and she's got a hot cup of coffee in one hand while she climbs in front of me. About halfway up, my brain finally clicks, and looks down as I realize how fucking stupid we're being. Alas, I refuse to bitch out.

And make it safely to the top.

One of the worst things I've done, and low on that list, but it's also the funniest.

[dogandponygal]

Institutions for Failed Persons Part 4

*I don't normally put content warnings into my posting but just a heads up there are some transphobic and homophobic slurs in this story*

For the first time since you arrived you weren't awakened by a drone. A cacophony of shouting and banging jolted you awake. You smacked into the top of your cage from being so startled.

You could make out a few words even behind the closed door of your room. Words like "help" "get off me" "fuck you" and "sadistic bitch" in between pained yells and screaming. Then things became ominously quiet.

A new, androgynous voice rang out down the hall.

"If I have to deal with you again, you're going straight to the bad labs! If you think I'm mean, wait until you meet the researchers!" A few more agonized screams, that sounded as if they were now muffled, seemed to punctuate the threat, followed by the slamming of a heavy door.

You've fucked up pretty bad over the course of your life, but now you were truly terrified of the trouble you got yourself into. 

As usual, you had no idea what time it was, but you were sure there was no way you were getting back to sleep after hearing all of that.

You sat curled up in your cramped cage and rocked yourself back and forth in a futile attempt to calm down. 

You were in the middle of cataloging all the horrible choices in your life in an attempt to find a time you messed up worse than when you decided to come to this place.

Just as you reached the conclusion that this was indeed the worst mistake you ever made, the door to your room opened. Two drones entered with glowing red gas masks, followed by a slender, tall doctor with disheveled red hair, scratches on her face, and a crooked bow tie.

“I'm sorry you had to hear all that little pup, my name's doctor Blackwell, but you can call me Veronika." She chuckled in between deep breaths. 

"Like, if you were allowed to talk. I guess you can think of me as Veronika!" She leaned against a wall and tried to catch her breath

You didn't think you could be more scared than you were a minute ago, but you managed to surprise yourself with how often you were wrong. Which is honestly saying something when you thought about it. 

"I'm your new doctor! Animals like you are kinda my specialty."

Your brain struggled to decide if her cheery tone of voice and wild grin scared you or comforted you. It settled on both. "I'm good with animals that like to be useful, but just need a little more training. Disobedient pups, ponies, you know, things like that."

"That asshole 'DoCtOr klEin' transferred you to my care." Her mocking tone surprised you. Didn't all these doctors work as a team? 

"Biting him has already ingratiated yourself to me. God he's such a prick. The drones had spoken highly of you in their reports. Which reminds me."

She took out a phone and tapped at its screen. Suddenly the two drones LED lights changed to green, and they became much more relaxed. 

"These two are such a delight, and they seem to think you are as well. They requested to see you again, isn't that sweet?!"

You realized that you had started to shake in terror. 

"Awe poor pup. There's no need to be scared! That is unless you plan on biting me. You wouldn't do that would you?" You let out a little whimper and tried in vain to make yourself smaller. 

"You are just too adorable!"

The doctor came over and unlocked your cage. 

"It's ok. Come here little pup." After a second you walked over to her on all fours and sat at her feet. She began scratching you behind your ears. With her other hand she beckoned for the two drones to come over.

The drones displayed a " : ) " and began petting you as well. This was almost scarier. What's the catch? Weren't you in trouble? Why are they being so kind? 

The one drone cupped your face and tilted it up to get a better look at you. Before you could think you began sucking at its thumb.

The smiley on the drones face lit up into a rainbow. It shoved its thumb deeper in your mouth. 

"See you don't bite. You'll be such a well behaved animal for me won't you?" You felt yourself getting turned on despite how scared you still were.

Without the paper scrubs you used to have, you couldn't hide your excitement. 

"Awe what's this?" Veronika cooed. She began to stroke you, and your hips began to thrust involuntarily. Fuck, were you going to be punished? Why was this turning you on so much?

"Such a slutty little animal aren't you? Maybe you'll make a good breeding toy for the other pets. Would you like that?" You whimpered in affirmation. A loud crash came from down the hall. "YOU FUCKING TRANNY FAGGOT!" At once the two drones screens turned red and they ran out.

Veronika let out a long exacerbated sigh. "I fucking hate this ward." She stopped stroking you and pinched the bridge of her nose. After a second she lifted your chin and stared into your eyes with a warm smile. "At least I got to meet such a cute new pet."

The words "my pet" made you sheepishly smile and blush. "I'll see you get transferred to another unit soon, fuck knows I could use the excuse to spend less time on this god damn ward. Until then I'll see to it you get some nicer accommodations. It was SO nice to meet you pet."

She walked to the doorway and pulled out her phone. 

"Hello its Dr. Blackwell, transfer me to the acute lab unit... Hey Dr. Kottin, do you have room for a very bad dog... Yup I'll sign all the paperwork... Could you remove its teeth for me... Yes all of them... Wonderful!"

[llycaons]

ep38 (2/3): heartbreaking: the worst person you know just came out

man I feel like xxc is SUCH a romantic. he likes being in love he likes having a partner he's drawn to those idealized fairy-tale romances he doesn't look too deeply below the surface (consciously or not) because he just loves having that kind of connection with someone. and ah he and song lan were perfect for each other. if not for that foolish mistake...! but tragically he's not a main character so his suffering will lead not to a happy ending but to death

anyway. scream? I assume these are yi city residents? fuck, but that's so many. an entire city

he just loves giving those expressions to xy for no reason. unhinged menace

this is honestly hilarious. obviously 'all he wanted was a domestic life with famer's market trips uwu' is a patently absurd claim because look what he DID with that life but I cannot lie this is very funny to me. like sure maybe DEEP DOWN that's all he wanted but my sympathy for him is like. nonexistent because look what he chose to do

also. this man is gasping in fear. does xxc not notice?? willfully ignorant, perhaps

SONG LAN!!!! thank god you're here there is such bullshit going down here xxc needs you. he just lit up so much when he heard about xxc

she's such a little survivalist <3

omg remember that translation meta that described sl's answer as like 'he is world-endingly beautiful' or something? first of all he was right. they casted xxc perfectly, second of all how the hell did she write this and not make them canon gay. insane.

this kills me bc at this point SL KNOWS but I don't think he even considered approaching this with the care he would have needed to. and why not just confront xy? it's not like he knows xy has a tool to make xxc kill him

also sl is standing here in broad daylight and xy just walks past him? I mean his back is to sl but that's weird, I feel like he'd notice him just STANDING there esp if a-qing jerks away and hides

damn I hope she hasn't been hiding every time xy is around. that's her home too. she could technically leave but I doubt she wanted to abandon xxc. and she's not likely to trust any of the sects to intervene either even if she told them. and I don't think she understands that xy is making xxc kill living people

witnessing sl see how xy treats xxc (familiarly, cruelly, lying) is like. that IS a man watching someone he loves involved with someone else who's hurting them. not even jealousy, just heartbreak and righteous anger. li bowen NAILED it

I don't think sl and xxc were ever actually together which just makes this entire thing more exquisitely painful

THE SINGLE TEAR

oohh and the BLOOD

at this point a-qing is distressed enough to grab onto wwx for comfort :(

it's not often that I see the xxc/xy situation described as abuse but xy DID abuse his power over xxc to trick him into murdering people (and then the heavy implication that they were in a relationship too 😬)

I love this expression from SL. no detached justice here. this man is furious and ready to kill

this fight scene is actually good? so many fight scenes in this show are bad and this one just rules. the chemistry, the action, the drama, the tragedy. what a neat and tight little narrative

ohh double-meanings. KILL HIM SONG LAN

this was so insane of xxc to do. man had one great love of his life and he dug out his eyes for him then walked away 😭

this is so funny though. he is the worst. oh SHIT THERE'S THE CHEETAH-PRINT ROBES. what a slay

also now xy won't stop rubbing it in his face and playing on sl's insecurities. deflecting from his own crimes. as jgy does, later in the temple. xy probably learned from him honestly. but don't fall for it song lan!!! he is literally using xxc to murder people!!!

this is a taunt eerily reminiscent of wwx. his voice goes up all high, like 'awww, were you SAD? huh?' wwx taunts like this, all sarcastic. but also he's not like, evil

BITCH YOU'RE THE ONE LYING AND MANIPULATING HIM

when sl's tongue gets cut out, a-qing gets all this splashed on her. ugh

NOOOOOOOO XIAO XINGCHEN!!! THAT'S THE MAN YOU LOVE!!!

[xyz2xyoungz]

#2

Not feeling shit off these bumps

Gotta fight my head from returning to this feelin of lostness

This road of life I'm having to drive be rough as fuck not2 sure on why there's so many humps

I turned to a monster I'm not talking about lockness

Ion fw people who only leand the hand searchin for info2 gossip

I ain't young gravy when I say yo bitch in my kitchen difference is she be whipping chicken n dumps

No ling honestly ion fw lowmein but I fw the cultura

I was so far gone Thought you were tha bitch from Greece named Medusa

At least until I turned n now I'll 4ever Invision myself turning to stone

Been through so much pain in my life already I didn't think I'd find anything colder than the left shoulder

Heart be so icy rappers try to put it on lay away in a way it makes up4 never breaking a viable bone

You don't understand the velocity this world rotates in

No matter the category of the tornado it'll neva reenact the speed we spin

Lookin little rough on some edges few hits you'll start to feel breatless

Smoke this blunt n tell me with a str8 face it ain't get you higher than a volcano could throw yuh

Exploding like pompi couldnt believe it when it began to eruptuh

I look at it n realize it be concurrent with these silent people they the ones you least expect

Anything happenin unplanned is definitely hectic

I been takin my time making sure it don't switch my perspective

Why do hoes do your heart same way people do business

It's like its heaven's golden heart n they contenplate on every chord they strum

I may be deceiving cause had you believin I was dumb

Either that or a fool I am to good to compete against unlike yuh last bum

I TOLD you not to underestimate me n you made the biggest n worst mistake luv

Not talking on truck stops but my whole family knows wassup

Devoted with underlying motivation to become the person who finally defeats this

                     CUURSEE‼️

[dimadimoo]

Well, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck. Hijueputa. Goddamn. Whooof. Yesterday was a total shitshow. Like, I got fucked so hard, bro.. right in the ass. First off, I thought my day was going to be chill, right, but surprise, surprise, I got bitched out by a service worker. At first, I was like, okay, maybe she’s just having a bad day or something, so I shrugged it off. But damn, missy was straight up unprofessional as hell! Complaining to the customer?? Complaining to the people paying you for your shitty service like a little fucking bitch?? Like bro, I get it if my request was tricky or something, but it wasn’t. It was super simple. All the other workers do that shit just fine, but you decided to whine over a basic job? Dude, just quit your job!

And here’s the best part… he knew about this blog. He fucking read some of my posts. (worst case, he probably read everything…) I’m so fucking stupid!! Okay, so here’s how it went down: I casually asked him about his Tumblr account, yeah, and I wanted to connect with him more, I mean, we already follow each other on Instagram and he knows my email, so Tumblr felt like the next step. But guess what? I totally forgot I was still logged into this account, yeah this one, and I accidentally followed his Tumblr from here. Yeah… chat, we’re fucked. I thought I was logged into my alt but nope… Then he goes “Is this your journal blog?” Bro, my heart jumped into my throat and then sank into my gut, like I was on that rollercoaster in Vegas. I was shocked. He admitted reading the newer posts, but honestly, I kinda doubt he stopped there…

I’m sitting there, feeling like satan just dick fucked me in the mouth. I tried explaining it wasn’t necessarily a hate post, just me venting about random shit. But then he’s like “Oh, so it’s a hate post about me?” BRO, WHAT? NO. Why the fuck would I… oh my god.. I wanted to crawl into a hole. Shit got worse from there. I tried to explain, told him I don’t hate him. Like, he’s been one of the best parts of my life, and him thinking I hated him? That really hurt and I was so offended. So I was like “Fuck it.” I sent him screenshots of the posts where I ranted about him just to prove it. This blog is my journal, where I process my feelings in the moment. Situations change, feelings change. But damn, he really hit a nerve accusing me of hating him… After that, I basically slammed the door on him and tried to sleep it off. Didn’t work... I barely slept, my chest and stomach hurt all night. I was that bothered. I mean, someone found out about my journal and I was being accused for something that is not true! Of course, I’m bothered! I hated that I was so upset at him. I didn’t want to but it hurt…

Then this morning, he messaged me. Totally unexpected. I didn’t reply right away because seeing that notification hit me like a truck.. my anxiety shot through the roof… I felt like I needed a bullet shoot to my head just to get rid of the unease. So I took a few hours to breathe, centered myself and internalized this situation, that made it even worse… and when I finally responded, he apologized. Said he went too far and shouldn’t have let his fears take over. I get it, and I’m glad he said that. I don’t want to ruin our relationship, I’d hate that, but I also told him straight up that I was hurt by the accusation... I’m proud of myself for standing up and being real with him. It took courage for me. I used to be such a people pleaser, but not this time. I owned my shit, apologized for the dumbass mistake I made, but didn’t give him a fake, people pleasing apology. I was real. And that’s huge for me…

He said he’s a pessimist at heart, which is sad, and I get it. But man, I hate being accused of something I didn’t do and not being believed. He wants to move on and get back to how we were, you know gushing over guys and talking about tf stuff… I told him we could, but it’s gonna take me some time to feel normal again. It’s still awkward, you know? Like, I keep thinking about the impression I left on him from my posts, and it’s giving me so much anxiety.I told him “Yeah, let’s go back to normal” but also, I need time. I’m still a little bothered. I’m glad he still sees me the same, though… that makes me feel a little better.

Part of me hates this whole situation and wishes it never happened. But lowkey, I’m proud of myself for how I handled it. I stood up for myself and was honest with my feelings, which took a lot of courage for me, given my people-pleaser tendencies. I learned a lot from this, and I owned up to my mistake. I should’ve been more mindful and less careless. Things are mostly back to normal between us, kinda… He even sent me a short story. I’ll read it later when I’m in a better mood. I don’t want to give a fake reaction, and I know he’d hate that.

Oh, and when he first found out about this blog? I immediately changed the name and blocked him. But the milk’s already spilled, and what’s done is done. He probably already read everything, so there’s no point in blocking him or making a new blog, right? And I changed the name back to previous one, cause I really like it. Whatever, man.

But yeah… yesterday was the worst fucking day of my life. And it’s only been two weeks since I turned 28…