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gamemakerm · 1 year ago

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In honor of Mermay and the current trend of Animal/Therian HRT going around (inspired by @ayviedoesthings's Dragon HRT series, @welldrawnfish's Fish HRT, @kaylasartwork's Bat HRT, @nyxisart's Puppy HRT, @deadeyedfae's Human HRT, etc etc etc, love all your work), I wanted to share the short story I wrote last year about medically turning yourself into a mermaid. This got published in WriteHive's Reclaiming Joy anthology, and we're now just outside of the six-month publishing exclusivity, so I can make it publicly available.

This was really raw to write for me, and there are trigger warnings for transphobia(/whatever the equivalent would be for mermaids?), implications of violence and hate crimes. However all the stories in the anthology were ultimately about perseverance, courage and love. I hope you enjoy, and if you want to get this and eleven other uplifting stories I can't recommend the anthology enough (though this is the only one relevant to the tags as far as I know). And if you really, really like it, you can buy me a kofi!

Scales

When the scales began to break through skin, they said you were becoming a monster. Blue and green, seafoam to pearl. You weren’t certain at what point you started to believe them.

You began to wrap yourself in tighter layers, a futile effort not to draw attention to the rough patches. Elbows, knees, along your arms, mottled with foundation and concealer caked on like spackle. Toner to offset the iridescent shine so that a passing glance wouldn’t be drawn to it. Constant checks and double checks, bathroom visits far beyond the routine.

Your careful camouflage is usually enough to deflect scrutiny, but occasionally a stranger catches on. Nobody has said anything to you yet, but you have noticed more glances on the train. The old woman’s frown of disapproval. The young man with something to prove to you, himself, the world. His jaw tightens as he calculates his ability to start something. You tuck your chin and pretend to be busy with your phone. In the dark screen you can see the skin flaking on your cheeks. The beginnings of another patch betray you.

As you touch up in the bathroom mirror you tell yourself you wanted this, that you were prepared for the hardships.

You walk to the public library after your shift ends. You walk most places these days, telling yourself it’s a last hurrah. The fact is you sold your car to make a dent in the cost. You’ll sell everything eventually. You’re going to have to.

The forums have a list of books everyone checks out when they choose this path. There aren’t many and most are fantasy. There’s a running joke: if anyone mentions Hans Christen Anderson, run. You spot The Little Mermaid on a small display. You don’t run. You check out your books. The librarian gives a knowing nod, but doesn’t remark. You silently thank her for the discretion.

You take a long shower, makeup swirling down the drain. You can’t help but scratch at the itching patches on your thighs, peeling skin tearing away for new growth. Shampoo and blood circle under your feet. Your fingernails are sharper than they were this morning. You exfoliate, letting the city, public transit, the glances of strangers be cleansed. Your reflection in the mirror, a colorful smattering of new scales dusting your cheeks, is tear-streaked, ethereal. Beautiful.

You knock the concealer into the trash bin.

Your mother left a voicemail. She avoids the elephant seal in the room, talking about her gardening, your cousin’s new baby. She lingers for a moment, then: You’re being selfish. She burns brightly as a beratement begins, emboldened. But without someone to riff with she loses her steam, trails off and repeats it. You’re being shellfish. She can’t help it; she laughs despite herself. There’s a minute where she doesn’t speak, but you can tell she’s waiting for the sob in the back of her throat to settle. She promises she’ll come to your party and the voicemail ends.

You still haven’t heard from your father. You don’t expect you will. You’ve made peace with that.

You do your weekly injection on the alternating leg, needle piercing deep in a gap between scales. The plunger delivers 200mg of concentrated hope directly into your bloodstream, salt water in salt water. You put a hello kitty bandaid over it and wait for the feeling of ice in your veins to settle, the tension to go out of your muscles. It doesn’t.

You pass an enraged man on the street, spit flying, a home-made sandwich board making his message clear: The Siren Is The Devil’s Agent. The back offers an equally cogent argument: Go Back To Atlantis, Fish Freaks. You would if you could, you think dryly. He notices you and seethes, but the current of the crowd carries you away before he can curse you out.

You drag your potted plants down to the front stoop and post a craigslist ad: free to a good home. They’re gone within the hour. You allow yourself the rare indulgence of posting a selfie, eyes closed, serene, to the reddit: Learning to love my scales <3! It’s still difficult to type on your phone with the new claws. The upvotes start to come in; everyone loves a guppie.

You catch up on the shows you haven’t gotten to yet. Where there was once only the metaphorical List, there is now an actual list. Despite your best efforts it’s becoming increasingly clear you’re not going to finish all of them. You knock a few off, restructure it based on length. It still looks too long.

You have dreams about choking on toxic waste, getting minced by a boat propeller. You keep a running count of the number of times you’ve dreamt of getting your head stuck in a six-pack of soda rings. You’re up to four.

Every few days you do laps in the local pool. You’re getting faster, but you feel exposed. There are whispers around the locker room.

Your cat knows something is happening, but doesn’t understand what that means for her. You hold her whenever and for as long as she’ll allow, give her as many pets and treats as she wants. Despite clearing out your apartment you’ve spoiled her. She licks the scales on your cheek as you cry over her. This seems to inspire something in her; she demands her tuna crunchies. Dutifully you give her the tuna crunchies. She can have as many tuna crunchies as she wants.

You doomscroll your twitter feed, making sure this isn’t the day you lose access to your meds because of some white man in a suit. A sister is assaulted by a violent extremist with a sense of humor: he shot her with a harpoon gun. Her crowdfunding campaign starts on the maidens reddit and goes viral.

You triple check to make sure your friend is still willing to take your cat when you go. They promise to spoil her and tell her stories of you every day. You continue to cry over it. They invite you out for sushi to talk about it, then backtrack to ask if that’s a microaggression. You go to sushi. You’re thankful for the distraction.

By the time your legs are more scale than skin and your fingers begin to develop webbing you’ve given up on pretense. The looks are now constant, but you get reflective sunglasses and a new patch for your jacket: Don’t like it? Drown, with a scaled hand reaching out of water and flipping the bird. You put the energy out into the world, and the world doesn’t fuck with you.

Children love you. Their parents do not.

On the train a young girl quietly asks if she can feel your scales. You allow her to touch her little fingers to the aquamarine pattern running up your arm, giving her your most reassuring (but still fanged) smile. She’s fearless, enamored, reverent. Her mother pulls her daughter away and hastily apologizes for her, not looking you in the eye. But you know that girl believes in magic now.

A group of white supremacists go out on a boat loaded with assault rifles for “no reason” and get lost at sea. This is somehow your fault.

The day your fins begin to push their way out from your arms, your boss calls you into his office. You both know he can’t fire you in this and seven other states, but you both also know you won’t be staying much longer. He’s done his best to make you aware you’re making his life more difficult. You put in your two weeks before he can flounder for another excuse. He moors you with paperwork for the rest of the afternoon.

Someone leaves a rotting fish in your pool locker. You don’t go back, and you don’t file a report. You tell yourself the chlorine was bad for the gills freshly forming under your ribs anyway.

Your friends take you out clubbing. You lose yourself under the waves of music, submerged under strobe lights and the salty sweat of dancing bodies. You whisper sweet nothings into a stranger’s ear, entrancing her as you move against each other. You can see iridescence shining around her eyes, shimmering glitter and an emerging pattern beneath makeup. You brush a thumb against her cheek and she melts into your touch. You don’t get her name. You don’t need to; you’re both not long for this world. You catch up with your friends smoking outside, your lips still tingling with vermouth.

Weeks pass. Work ends. Your apartment is down to furniture and cat supplies. You take longer showers. News stories continue to come out, the machine churns and roils: monsters walking among humans, the mark of the beast, sacrificing daughters to the ocean.

You make sure your meds are reupped for the final stretch.

When your legs start to merge you know you don’t have much time left. You donate the last boxes of your clothes. Your friends get first dibs on furniture before it’s put on the street. They bring drinks and sit on your floor, an impromptu celebration and wake. They ask all the usual questions: what are you going to do for food? Shelter? What if you get hurt, or attacked by a shark? Do they have waterproof laptops yet? Will they ever see you again? What if it isn’t right for you? Can you ever come back?

You don’t know how to answer most of those questions. The group stays with you through the night. At 4AM you put on The Little Mermaid and the group drunkenly sings along. Everyone knows the words. It’s juvenile and you can hear the maidens on the reddit rolling their eyes and tutting about misrepresentation, but you know everyone in your position does it. You try not to cry, but the waterworks start and don’t stop.

At daybreak you put your cat into her harness and everyone piles into a friend’s van. It’s not far to the beach, but they take the long way around. One final tour of the land. Your cat sits on your lap and stares out the windows as you pass old haunts, your grocery store, your gym, your high school. You realize you still have library books to return and almost get them to turn around, but someone promises to go back for them afterwards.

There’s an isolated area on the beach where a canopy and tables are set up; banners, food, friends. It’s a regular going away party, as if you’re going on a short trip abroad. You suppose you are, in a way. Someone rented a wheelchair with fat tires to help you get down to the beach.

When your mother arrives she pulls her shirt off to show her custom-made clam bra. Her eyes are already red and puffy, but she’s doing her best to be energetic and upbeat. She holds you for a long time and says she’s happy for you, that you’re beautiful, that you’re so much stronger than she ever was, and then she puts on a brave face to help everyone get served at the buffet. Your cat chases small crabs across the beach around you, and you sit in the sand. The party goes strong.

The tides come up until your fin is tickled by the seafoam. Everyone knows that means it’s time to go. You pass your cat off to her new owner and she gives you a last headbutt. She seems to understand. You kiss your mother’s cheek one last time and she clings to you. The group raises their drinks as you paddle out, disappearing beneath the waves. You give them the money shot and leap out of the water on your way out of the sound, and you can hear cheering from the shoreline. You hope someone got a video for the maidens.

You keep the city in sight for a while, but the currents lead you further into open waters. There are boaters out on the water who wave to you. You wave back and keep swimming up the coast.

At dusk you rise to the surface and watch the setting sun turn the horizon from blue to pink to purple and orange. There’s nothing for leagues around. As the sun sinks below the waves and the skies darken you sing your first real siren’s song. Shaky and imperfect, it soon resounds over the ocean breeze. You leave everything behind in it. There are no words, only feeling and sound. It’s a lament, an invocation, a dirge. It is many things, but it isn’t an apology. You have nothing to apologize for.

In the seas beyond a chorus joins in with a language you never learned but understand, integrating your song into theirs. You swim to join them.

#animal hrt #furry hrt #dragon hrt #therian hrt #otherkin #mermaid #mermay #mermay 2024 #transgender #tf hrt #mythical hrt?#writing #short story #writeblr

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altraviolet · 7 months ago

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Have you read any articles/books or watched any videos/lectures on writing that you found helpful/enjoyed?

There are some recs in this post here. Scroll down to RESOURCES. Since writing that post, I've found more videos and channels. I didn't bookmark them, so I'd have to go hunt and find them. There are also various video recs in my main list of Writing Advice, my pinned post.

I have a mental list of "writing advice posts to make" and an updated resources post is definitely on there :)

The most interesting and entertaining channel I've found in the interim is a script writer, LocalScriptMan. His ideas are really fascinating. He has a bare-bones approach, which makes sense because he doesn't write novels. But you can learn a lot from his craft videos. (YMMV on the enneagram stuff. I find it very interesting but I can't align my brain to those specific characterization divisions) For starters check out "What if character sheets weren't awful." I really enjoy his stuff.

TheCozyCreative is also a really nice channel, highly rec. Trad and self published author talks about all aspects of publishing, the realities of being self employed as a writer (emphasis on frugal living to make that happen), and assorted cozy stuff.

This post got long so gonna put a lil jump here

Most of the videos I've watched recently have been about the publishing industry and editing. I donnnnnnn't know if those would be particularly helpful for fic writing. I mean, editing absolutely should be done, but we're talking Developmental Editing type things, which most fic writers probably don't do... hmm

Know what, let's just go with it xD Please forgive me, I'm too tired to get all the links, but here are some videos I've taken notes on. I have a notebook I take notes in, divided by subject. I'mma just give you the info in my notebook. these are youtube videos, format is:

"video title" channel name

BACKSTORY

"How to write character backstory" Abbie Emmons

BACKSTORY/FLASHBACK

"On Writing: Flashbacks and Backstory" Hello Future Me

CHARACTER MOTIVATIONS

"Oops no soul: the biggest Paradox" LocalScriptMan

CONSISTENCY

"how to be consistent with your creative projects" Megan Brush

EDITING (DEVELOPMENTAL)

"Everything you need to know about developmental editing" Alyssa Matesic

"How to self edit like a developmental editor" Writehive

EDITING (STYLESHEET)

"Stylesheet | Why you need a stylesheet | editing tips" Autumn Bardot

EDITING

"40 words to cut from your novel" Natalia Leigh

REDEMPTION ARCS

"On Writing: Redemption Arcs!" Hello Future Me

SELF PUBLISHING

"My 7 biggest self publishing mistakes: what I learned" The Cozy Creative

SLOW BURN

"How to write slow burn romance... that will make your readers fall in love" Abbie Emmons

STORYTELLING

"The key to great storytelling" Quotidian Writer. I mention Quotidian Writer in the older post I linked above, and I hiiiiighly rec her vidoes. They're really good.

SUBTEXT

"Writing subtext in dialogue" Quotidian Writer. hoo boy do I rec this video. did you like the dialogue in TEG? watch this video :D

Alrighty hopefully that's a good start :) Though it's totally possible most of these aren't helpful to you. Do you have specific questions about writing? If so, I can try to find videos for you.

If you're looking for broad advice, def check out the channels in the post above, as well as LocalScriptMan, TheCozyCreative, and def check out Quotidian Writer.

#ask #anonymous #writing advice #writing resources #long post

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wileys-russo · 17 days ago

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Oh dearest Bailey

I must ask

When will they writeh

In the blink of an eye 7

Forgive me for sinning

But I must ask

oh dearest anon i have perilously fallen into the treacherous pits of writers block, so if thee would be so kind as to offer up what thy would like to see in the story, i may come upon some inspiration

#answered asks

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thepodcasthoard · 4 months ago

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Modern Day Radioplays: Writing a Fiction Podcast - video

This is a video from WriteHive and it's all about how various creators write their own audio dramas and why and how they started.

The panelists are York Campbell, Julie Hoverson, K.A. Statz, Jordan Cobb, Sarah Rhea Werner, and Leslie Gideon, all of whom write or otherwise produce audio dramas.

York Campbell is the writer and host of Poetic Earthlings, which is an original science fiction anthology. Unfortunately, I don't know if this link I found is the right show, but I'll put it here anyway.

Jule Hoverson is the writer/producer of 19 Nocturne Boulevard, an anthology with stories in the supernatural, speculative, and strange.

K.A. Statz is part of Fool and Scholar Productions, an indie audio drama production company.

Jordan Cobb is an actress/writer and the founder of No Such Thing Productions, another indie production company.

Leslie Gideon is a writer and voice actor and created her own audio drama called The Path Down.

Sarah Rhea Werner is a writer and voice actor and creator of Write Now and Girl in Space. She's also the executive producer of Omen, her partner Tim Krause's show.

Patchree Jones- the host of the panel- first question is: How did you get into this line of work?

Jordan first started with listening to audiobooks. She studied acting in New York University and realized that a script she had written for a class would work with a few of her acting friends. After that first show- Here be Dragons- she fell in love with the audio drama production process.

K.A. Statz started because both she and her partner Travis are very creative and are storytellers. This was a hobby they wanted to share, and they discovered that she was good in the writing aspect and Travis was good at production so they played to their strengths.

Sarah started with her nonfiction podcast, Write Now, and tried writing fictional stories to be read out loud.

Leslie listened to Welcome to Night Vale and fell in love with the rabbit hole entrance it was. She saw the potential for stories that weren't as represented in other mediums and explored that.

York started by listening to AM radio stories and when he mentioned to his wife he wanted to start a podcast but wasn't sure of the topic, she suggested that he read some of his fictional stories.

Julie studied screenwriting and was in an old-time radio club. She's an actor who was invited by a friend to audition with her for a podcast. After auditioning and recording with the cast, she used those scripts she had already written to start making fictional podcasts of her own.

Question 2: What are the elements of a fiction podcast that make it different from writing a novel or short story?

Leslie points out that there's no atmospheric or worldbuilding writing- it's all dialog and sound. Because of this, she says, it's incredibly more intimate and character-focused.

Sarah separates the story into: dialog, sound effects, music in the background. But the dialog is the main part, the other two highlight that aspect.

K.A. says that you can't really explore characters by action, but what and how they speak. Language is a huge part of identity and writing for dialog is keeping the art of oral history alive.

York used to write and perform rap so he was more focused on the music and how to play with that aspect.

Julie used her TTRPG background and creating memorable characters as the game master and how to separate those characters just using dialog. Audio drama is (generally) in media res, right in the middle of the story. It doesn't have the slight disconnect of reading words and having it be in past tense.

Jordan says that you're living in the story with the characters. Writing scripts for audio fiction feels more "immediate and lived-in." Her screenwriting background tends to creep in as far as worldbuilding because you're guiding people through your world from their own life and whatever they're doing at the same time as they're listening to the podcast. She says she wants to have the listener "suspend themselves" in the world she creates.

Question 3: Do you feel that certain genres lend themselves more towards this medium more than others?

K.A. says that this medium is open to any kind of story. There are genres that are more difficult- she points out action as an example- but it's doable. It just requires more thought about how to depict it. And with more people coming into the medium, there's eventually going to be someone who brings a new technique in that will prove her wrong and she's looking forward to it. She also says that horror works very well- people tend to create more terrifying things in their mind than K.A. ever could on her own because of K.A.'s work.

Julie says that anything that's ruined by a visual, or a visual that wouldn't live up to the story. She agrees with K.A. and says that horror is good for audio, and action is difficult.

Jordan agrees about horror and adds comedy as a good genre. She compares it to standup comedy because the listener pictures the scenarios in their mind. Also, science fiction and fantasy because to produce it via say, a movie, it would be exorbitantly expensive. Whatever genre you choose, you're taking the audience with you on the journey. A little hand-holding is expected, but as long as you're willing to do that well, it's a journey they'll willingly take.

Sarah offers encouragement to any future creator, no matter what story or genre they're interested in- there's room for everyone in the medium.

York says that in his science fiction anthology, he sometimes goes off-track. And even when he does do that, he says that there's "a golden thread that ties everything together" because it's all told through sound.

Julie says that engaging characters are the key to each genre. If the writing, acting, and characters and their predicaments are good, they will draw the audience in.

Leslie says that any genre that focuses on characters or a certain atmosphere works well in audio dramas. Horror, especially psychological horror, works well. But so does romance because it's characters talking to each other and getting closer.

Question 4: What do you love about writing podcasts?

Julie says that she can do whatever she wants and can be any character she wants with no need for things like makeup or other visual cues.

Sarah says she can connect more to her listeners than she can from purely writing.

Jordan says the audio fiction is the closest way she can get to living in the worlds and have the experiences the characters she creates do.

York says "empathy saves the species." When he creates characters that have experiences he never will, he builds empathy with people who might have those experiences in the real world. He can show more compassion.

K.A. says the effect that her story has on listeners is amazing. There's also an amount of self-reflection that comes with writing, and it's personal without being invasive.

Leslie discovered a freedom in this medium that doesn't quite exist elsewhere.

Question 5: What are the challenges you've faced when writing fiction podcasts?

Leslie says that because of the nature of audio- namely that dialog is king- it's more difficult to create well-rounded characters that aren't what she calls "exposition machines." The world is shown through not only one character speaking, but how that character speaks to other characters.

York says that even though he enjoys the act of writing, it's grueling and takes a while for him. When he can't find "the heart" of the story, AKA the "core element," he doesn't record it. He has to find the human connection.

Jordan says that actually writing- the butt-in-chair method- is the most difficult part. And she also has trouble putting the exact mental image she has into language that other people experience. Getting onto the same page proves difficult at times.

Julie says finishing things is hard. Starting is easy, but finishing is harder. She also wishes she had a dedicated editor because she prefers writing and acting.

K.A. also has problems finishing projects. She's grateful to her partner Travis for sound direction and certain production duties so she can focus on other things. She also points out that a lot of work has to go into building an audience, and she wishes someone could do the promotion.

Sarah says that it's difficult to not burn out when you're making a project. Working around your life can be hard, but when you are burning out, it's sometimes difficult to step back even when it's necessary. Also, she points out that the finished product is not what it takes to make it- a thirty minute episode takes hundreds of hours to make.

Question 6: How do you best promote your podcast?

Jordan cross-promotes with other shows. She has snippets and trailers of hers on other shows, and shouts out other projects from other people when she's enjoying something. Most people listen to multiple podcasts, so you can get people to network and more ears on your work.

Sarah comes from a marketing background. She says creative people often think that marketing is antithetical to what their work is, but she thinks they should learn about marketing if they can. The more you learn, the more effective you are at it.

York says that there is such a thing as creative marketing, that you can bridge that gap. He particularly mentions just for social media episodes and giving an episode for those who don't want to go to another platform to listen to more yet. He also shouts out other shows and projects. Guesting on other projects is helpful, too.

K.A. says doing things adjacent to the podcast is good- she and her partner did Twitch streams about sound design. Also, building a community and having them spread the word for you is a plus.

Leslie says that because the medium is relatively new, the community is very social media focused. It's the best way to get the word out.

Julie points out the fact that even with cross-promotion, the word more or less gets passed around the closed room of audio drama fans, not so much spread further. But marketing, she admits, is very daunting especially when you're wearing so many hats already. But she says to find reality-based podcasts, not just fictional ones, and make connections there. So if you have a horror fiction podcast, reach out to horror movie review podcasts.

Question 7: Do you use sound effects and how do you incorporate them? Do you make them yourself or where do you find them?

K.A. writes them into the scripts at specific points. Her partner, Travis, either finds or makes them himself. While you don't necessarily need sound effects, they are an anchoring point and connection to the real world. You know what a car door sounds like when it's slammed shut and the probably emotion behind it. You can envision the situation.

York didn't at first, but added music and the sound effects later. Don't have them for the sake of them, use them to deepen the listener's understanding of the characters/world.

Julie uses the sound effects to serve the story. She uses the same sound effects- a door opening, for example- over and over. She plays with the sounds and layering them until she liked the result- she likens it to collage.

Jordan doesn't sound design her own projects, but she writes sound effects not just for ambiance but as part of the story. She also says to play with silence as a 'sound effect.'

Leslie thinks it's vital to create a soundscape when creating an audio drama because it adds to worldbuilding.

Sarah does her own sound design and editing and says freesound.org is a great resource.

Question 8: Do you plan the whole season in advance or do you go episode by episode?

Leslie plans out seasons first to make sure the narrative flows well. It also makes production and post production run more smoothly for her.

K.A. plans everything in advance because she "can't abide chaos".

York writes everything, including show notes, in advance.

Jordan plots the season first, then writes episodes in more detail to give herself room to breathe. But everything is done before recording.

Sarah is a self-professed "chaos monster" and has difficulty planning everything, so she writes episode by episode because it works better for her.

Julie writes episodes in her anthology about five or six in a batch, then looks for sound effects, music, and cast members as she works.

Question 9 (final question): What is your advice for future podcasters?

York believes in finding a story you can immerse yourself in, something that has a core of truth and real experience. A story that you're motivated and stoked to write.

K.A. recommends not standing in your own way and try little things at first, just to try and prove to yourself you can do it.

Sarah suggests that you find a friend and support system in the community to not get stuck in your head.

Julie seconds the finding someone in the community, along with finding shows that you enjoy and following them closely. Also, she suggests to write and just write, don't spend forever editing a sentence at a time. Keep moving forward.

Leslie says to listen to as many shows that you can. The best way to learn is to listen to the things people do well.

Jordan says to not let anyone steal your joy. You will start from 0, get one-star reviews, and have people say intentionally cruel and unprompted things about what you've poured everything into. She also says to never read reviews.

I only touched on their answers, I highly recommend watching it in its entirety. It's just over an hour and twenty-six minutes and it's truly jam-packed with information and it's really entertaining.

#podcast help #beginner podcaster #audio drama help

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