#XH angst

[puppyluvfics]

Shallow | O.de/Oh Seungmin

O.de/Oh Seungmin | part of Not In The Same Way: MTL Series WC: 1.3k Genre: Angst/Smut(?) Summary: You loved Seungmin. You did. Yet, somewhere in that love, you lost yourself, turning into a mirror image of him, which is something you grew to hate. Warnings: there's like... slight smut? It's skippable if you want it to be, but it's there. A/N: THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG I FORGOT TO HIT PUBLISH FHDSJKFS SORRY. Also: the smut part of this... maybe I will expand on one day (no promises) because. mmm hatefucking <3 OK SORRY GOOD LUCK OSEUMI LOVERS

“I… Listen. I loved you. And maybe, deep down, there’s a part of me that still does. But that part of me is so lost… it isn’t fair to me and it isn’t fair to you. I’ll see you around, okay? Take care of yourself.”

Seungmin’s world felt like it was crumbling. Everything had seemed just fine, this morning. Right…? He felt blindsided, and frankly, incredibly hurt. He looked back into your eyes, and God, it stung. What was once a gaze of adoration and love had been replaced with confusion and pain.

“What are you even saying, (Y/N)? We’re a team, we’re… we’re us. What happened to that?”

You sigh heavily, sitting on the arm of the couch, running your hands over your face.

“That’s the thing, Seungmin. We… I’m not myself anymore. I’m you. I don’t even know who I am outside of being with you anymore, and that scares me.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, cautious about what you were saying.

“So, what? You’re just going to throw away everything we have and everything we are just because you’re having an identity crisis? You don’t think that’s a little unfair to me? I’m supposed to be your boyfriend, I’m supposed to help you through shit like this!” He said, raising his voice only a bit. He wasn’t yelling at you. Far from it. But he was so damn frustrated, and you could tell. Still, his words cut, deep.

“I’m not throwing anything away! But it isn’t fair to me, either! I wake up and I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize that person!” You retort, matching his volume.

He lets out a sound, a mix between a sigh and a scoff.

“Nice. Real nice, (Y/N). Being like me is so damn bad that you’d rather throw this away than try to work through it with me by your side.” He said, eerily calm, clearly extremely hurt, despite misinterpreting your words.

“You’re putting words in my mouth, Seungmin. Stop it. I didn’t say that. I’m…” You sigh again, exhausted from the arguing. “I’m not doing this to be selfish, I’m doing this for us, don’t you understand that? You deserve someone who compliments you, not a carbon copy of you. And that’s what I’ve turned into.” You spoke slowly, trying to make him understand.

“Well, there’s one thing that you didn’t copy from me. You’re so goddamn self centered and shallow.” He said, his tone biting. You know he didn’t really mean it, that he was just lashing out in anger but, fuck, that hurt more than anything you could ever muster up to say to him.

“Seungmin, what the fuck?” Your voice comes out hushed, small, and hurt.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” He said, realizing the extent of the damage he’d done. You huff, standing up, pushing past him to the door. 

“I’ll see you around, Seungmin.” You said, leaving those being the last words you said to him, for a good while.

~~~

Not a long enough while, though. It hadn’t been more than a week before you had bumped into him while you were out with some friends, ironically, trying to drink away the thoughts of him. You had debated calling him before this, over and over again, but you stayed strong. Still, there you stood, your feet aching in the heels you’d squeezed them into, your eyes fixated on his figure, standing on the opposite end of the bar, waiting for his drink. 

“Please, please do not let him be here with someone else,” You thought to yourself. You were the one who had broken up with him, sure, but still, it had only been a week or so. You stayed by your friends, just observing him for the duration of a song or two, releasing a held breath when you realized that he was here alone. Did you want to walk over to him? You were the one who left him, after all. And it was messy to say the least. You knew you would hate yourself for it later, but you walked over to him, sitting next to him, clearing your throat to make your presence known. 

He turned to look at you, his eyes widening. He didn’t know what shocked him more - the fact you were sitting there next to him, or the fact you were showing a good amount of skin in what you had worn. 

“Hey.” You said, quietly. 

“Hey…” He replied, just as quietly. 

~~~

You didn’t know how it happened. Multiple drinks and hours later, he and you were drunkenly stumbling through your once shared apartment, leaving filthy, needy kisses all over each other. Your lips had attached to his neck, leaving dark red hickeys and bites all over him, all the while his hands found their way down to your hips, pressing hard into your skin. A few more steps and you found yourself bent over the arm of the couch - the same couch you had sat on and argued with him less than a week ago. It didn’t matter to you now, though. All that mattered was him, the feeling of his hands on you, the feeling of your skirt getting hiked up and your strapless top getting yanked down. The feeling of him pushing your head down into the couch as he fucked you from behind. You couldn’t consider it hate fucking, neither of you hated each other. Hell, maybe you were right, maybe you did hold love for him still, somewhere deep inside you. Probably as deep as his cock was hitting, if you were being honest with yourself. 

It wasn’t until a little after 3am that the two of you had both tapped out, breathing heavily on the couch. You were laying in his arms, something that hadn’t happened in a while, even when you were together. His chest rose and fell in tandem with yours, but what you didn’t know was that while you laid there blissed out, sweaty and on cloud nine, brainless, he laid there thinking. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the sex, of course he did. So, it came as a shock, even to him, when he spoke. 

“You should go.” He said, quietly, stoic. 

“What?” You asked, immediately hurt. Sure, this wasn’t hate sex, but wasn’t it make up sex?

“I… (Y/N), this was…” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word mistake. He didn’t see it like that. He never did before, and that hadn’t changed. He simply sighed, letting his arms fall away from you. “I’m sorry.” He said, hoarsely. You could tell this was just as hard for him as it was you, but that didn’t exactly make you feel better in this moment. You nodded, fighting your own emotional breakdown, pulling your clothes back on as best as you could given your sweaty, sticky state. You said nothing as you walked to the door, despite wanting to say so much. Anything, really.

The fact of the matter was, he had changed just as much as you had… you were quite literally two halves of a whole, but that whole was now shattered beyond repair. You weren’t just him, you were you and he was him. Together you were the best and worst of each other. But there was nothing you could do or say, now. You had made your bed, and now you had to lie in it, alone. Maybe, in another timeline, things would have worked out and you would have realized that he was right - you were being self-centered and shallow. At least you got what you wanted… now you had no choice but to figure out who you were, without him.

CHOOSE ANOTHER MEMBER HERE

OR

LISTEN TO THE SONG THAT INSPIRED THIS, BELOW

[mirisss]

The Night I dreamt of You

Goo Gunil x female! reader

Wordcount ≈ 300

Warnings: A little angst/sad, more wholesome but sad. Death, nothing explicit but mentions death.

Didn’t really have a specific idol in mind so I used a random wheel decide to pick one. Anyways, request are open! Please reblog.

Wrote this at 03:07 am when I was stressing about an exam that I had at 8 am the same day 😣. So of course we had to go down the angsty and sad route. I often feel like some of my best work are the sad stories I write lol. Thank you for coming to my rant session 😂 now on to the fic:

"I dreamt of you last night" Gunil said as he embraced (Y/n) in a backhug.

"Really? What did you dream about?" (Y/n) asked as she turned her head to look at Gunil.

"I dreamt of our future together. After graduating, we would move in together, first in a rental, but once we had saved up some money we would buy a house and decorate it, just like we wanted to. We would be happy, working and being together. I dreamt of how it would feel to grow old with you, the love of my life,"

"That’s so sweet. Let’s do our best to make it come true!" She said with a big smile and happy tears in her eyes.

Years went by, seasons came and went. The leaves grew and fell of the trees just like their neighbors' children grew up and moved out. Before they knew it, they had grown old. Their final sleep was approaching, yet the couple weren't scared for they had lived a happy life together.

"I dreamt of you last night. I haven’t dreamt in a long time, at least not that I remember. I dreamt that we were walking on a beach as the sun was setting, you were wearing that pink dress you used to love. The one you wore when I asked you to move in with me. I dreamt of holding your hand and kissing you as we listened to the sound of the waves. I dreamt that we then walked away, towards the unknown. To spend eternity together. Just you and me,"

Gunil said as he laid the bouquet of (insert flowers) down on the grave in front of him.

"I miss you, my dear. I know you have not been gone for that long. I miss having you by my side. I hope you are not too lonely, waiting for me on the other side,"

Gunil, now old and wrinkly yet just as happy as when he was a teenager, laid down in bed that night, thinking of his beloved (y/n). He looked at his bedside table where the picture from their graduation sat in a decorated frame. He smiled at the smile on (Y/n)'s face and the lovesick look in his eyes as he glanced at the girl beside him. His last thought before falling into the sleep he would not wake from was: I’ll see you soon, my dear.

[kyufessions]

three a.m

synopsis: your boyfriend, jiseok, catches you crying in the middle of the night

pairings: boyfriend! jiseok x g.n. reader

genre: angst w/ a comforting ending

warnings: mention of mental illnesses (depression + anxiety), reader mentions suicidal thoughts

word count: 1.9k

requested?: yes, angst prompt #27 - “i wish i’d never met you”

general taglist: @jwnghyuns @eaudenana @soobin-chois

xdh taglist: @dreamylogy @tentenharuno

a/n: please read with caution and remember to talk to someone if you are ever feeling suicidal or your mental health is declining. mental health is very important and speaking does help relieve some of those pent up emotions. please remember your life does matter and life eventually gets better. also, my messages are always open for anyone and everyone. stay safe please. ♡

it was three a.m., your boyfriend was fast asleep in your shared bedroom as you sat outside in the living room with your knees to your chest and a fuzzy blanket engulfing your body in warmth. the only way to describe how you were feeling was numb both mentally and physically. life had been too much for you within the past three weeks, your coping mechanisms and ability to work through your negative thoughts slipping past you. you had been dating jiseok for ten months, every single moment spent together was better than the last. but you couldn’t help but feel bad for faking your smiles for the past few weeks, the depression eating you up inside.

you were the type of person to not open up easily, and jiseok knew that better than anyone. slowly but surely, you did start to open up about him. but not about your deep struggles that you only withheld for yourself and your journal, but rather things that only scratched the surface of your problems. although untrue, you felt as if your personal issues were too bothersome and if you opened up about them to someone, you'd only bring that person down with you. deep down you knew that wasn’t true, but you were also scared that if you did open up he would leave. convinced you had too much ‘baggage’, you just kept your feelings to yourself which was ultimately causing the decline of your mental health.

there you sat, head laid upon your knees as you stared at the naked white wall across from you with your back to the couch. mind wandering to places it shouldn’t at such an ungodly hour. inside your bedroom laid jiseok, half asleep as he goes to throw his arm over your waist to bring you closer to him but being met with an empty space. eyes fluttering open, he quickly realized you were not there and sat up against the headboard. although he figured you were just in the bathroom or getting more water, something inside him told him to get up and look for you.

listening to his intuition, he puts on his slippers and opens the bedroom door to walk straight to the bathroom. but in order to get to the bathroom you had to pass through the hallway that showed a view of the living room, so as he was walking he noticed the top of your head leaking out from the corner of his eye. calling out your name with no response from you, he walks fast towards where you’re sitting and calls your name out once more as he gets closer to you.

upon hearing your name, your head shoots up in his direction with instant worry washing over you. “jiseok, baby” you mumble, your voice cracking from all the silent sobs you’ve been releasing for the past two hours. “why're you awake? are you okay?” grabbing his hand, you pull him down to you and cup his face in your hands. why was he awake at this hour? he has practice in a few hours, he should be sleeping peacefully right now.

his hands cover yours, placing them in his lap as he intertwines your fingers together. “why're you crying? what’s wrong?” he releases his one hand from yours, bringing it to your eyes and swiping away drying tears. the puffiness of your eyes gives away that you’ve been crying for a while, and the cracks in your voice confirm that for him as well. jiseok has never seen you cry, not even tears of joy. so catching you like this was heartbreaking for him. why wouldn’t you want to cry in the comfort in his arms instead of isolating yourself in the living room at this hour?

you nod, avoiding eye contact as he questions you. “i’m fine. i’m just, thinking a lot is all.” you stand up, letting go of his hands temporarily before making grabby hands at the man sitting on the ground. “come on, you have an early practice tomorrow. let’s get you to bed, im sorry.”

shaking his head, he hops up to his feet and instantly grabs your hands once more. but instead of walking to your shared bedroom, he stays put in front of you. “whyre you sorry? you have nothing to be sorry for.”

you bite the inner part of your cheek, taking in a deep breath before responding to your loving boyfriend. “i wish i’d never met you, jiseok.”

hearing his own heart break, he lets go of your hands and starts walking away without a word. although aware of the confusing situation that was unraveling before him, he couldn’t help but hear his own heart break as he grabs a jacket and left the apartment. all you did was stand there, mentally cursing at yourself as tears fell from your eyes at a rapid pace. as your body fell onto the couch behind you, you grabbed the fuzzy blanket from the floor and wrapped it around yourself as you stared up at the ceiling.

before jiseok knew it, his feet had carried him to the convenience store down the road that always stayed open till five a.m. grabbing some ramen and a peach drink, he quickly assembled his food and sat outside in the spring weather. he took his time as he ate, wanting to not go back to the apartment too soon since he was still trying to swallow what you had admitted to him. was that your way of breaking up with him? were you trying to tell him something you’ve been dying to get off your chest? he didn’t know how to react, so all he did was leave. he didn’t want to yell, he didn’t know how to respond, so he thought leaving everything to marinate in his thoughts away from the situation was better.

an hour passed without a word from your boyfriend, the hour now nearing five a.m. as you realize how long it’s been with no return, your anxiety starts to sky rocket. assuming the worst, you quickly shove some sneakers on and grab the apartment keys. without a second thought, you start running towards the convenience store you both frequently visited. from a distance, you can make out his messy hair and bunny slippers from anywhere. as he heard someone running towards him, his head shot up to see you running at him in emoji pajama pants and an old bleached band tee with no jacket.

“jiseok, what the fuck!” you yell from a distance, stopping right in front of him as his eyes widen in surprise. “you can’t just leave like that and not say anything. especially at this hour, what if something had happened to you?” you go to place your hand on top of his but frown as he pulls it away.

“why do you care?”

baffled at his response, you take a step back as he continues to sit on the bench with his cup of cold noodles almost finished. “i’m your partner, why would i not care?”

no words, just a roll of his eyes as he stands up and throws away his cup of ramen and drink. before he can walk away, you grab his arm gently and turn him around to face you. “i get you’re upset for whatever reason, but that’s no excuse to say what you did. i was only trying-“

“i know, i know.” you sigh, feeling your throat start to close but ignoring it. now was not the time to cry, especially not in public. “i didn’t mean it in the sense that you’re thinking. just,” you start walking to an empty bench, jiseok following behind in confusion but ultimately deciding to hear you out.

as you take a seat beside him, you start to open up about everything you’ve been feeling. “i wish i never met you because i once im gone, i'm going to feel bad for hurting you.” on the last word your voice cracks, eyes glossing over as they move from his to the grass below your feet. “i’ve just been so mentally unwell lately that i don’t know what i'm going to do to myself. im scared that one day i'm just going to say that i’ve bad enough and, do something to myself.” you bring your hand to his, fingers shaking as you intertwine his fingers with yours. “and i don't want you to go through the pain of dealing with someone like me, jiseok. i don’t want you to hurt, you don’t deserve to hurt.”

as jiseok listens to each word, he continually swipes away any tears threatening to fall from his eyes. how could he have not noticed you feeling this way? how could he not have realized how much you were hurting? “why didn’t you tell me sooner, 자기야?”

he watches the tears from your eyes fall into the pavement below, the darkening stains increasing with each passing moment. “i have too much baggage, i didn’t want you to leave me for having too many personal issues.” you intake a deep breath before meeting his eyes, your heart breaking at the sight of his hurt facial expression. “you’re the only joy i have, i didn’t want to lose that. i’m sorry for what i said, i never meant to hurt you and i sure as hell didn’t mean it. but jiseok,” as you bring a hand to his cheek, you can’t help but let out a small yet silent sob before finishing your sentence. “i’m so scared to hurt you if i ever leave.”

watching you crumble into a sobbing mess, your boyfriend wastes no time in bringing you against his chest to allow you to sob into him. he wraps his arms around you tightly as he nuzzled his face in your hair, allowing a few tears to fall as he holds back sobs of his own. “i’m not going anywhere,” he says before placing a kiss to your temple, pulling you away to make you look at him. even with your puffy face and bloodshot eyes, he still thought you were the most beautiful human to exist. “and you’re not either, okay? i’m here now, and i’m not going anywhere.”

holding out his pinky, you watch as he interlocks it with yours and places a kiss on your knuckle. “i want you to come to me whenever you feel like this, okay? please? even if i’m at practice, call me or one of the guys if it’s urgent. i will always answer and come home to you in an instant.” feeling his own throat close up, you watch a few tears escape his eyes as he lets out a chuckle at his own vulnerability. “baby, you are the most important person to me in this entire universe. i would do anything to keep you alive, no matter what it takes.”

as you walked home hand in hand, you finally opened up to jiseok about how you have been feeling. you confessed about your past and how it’s affected you up until now, about your depression and anxiety. when you both finally got into bed, he waited for you to drift off to sleep in his arms before texting his bandmates he wouldn’t be making it in today, using the excuse he didn’t feel too well. as the clock struck six fifteen in the morning, he finally felt his eyes get heavy and fell asleep to the sound of your almost inaudible snores that he couldn’t wait to fall asleep to for the rest of his life.

[stay-mon-army]

Soup and Cuddles

Warnings: sickness, eating, fevers, medicine, over-working

Word Count: 2,268 words

Pairing: sick!Jungsu x gn!reader (established relationship)

No one ever disputed the fact that Jungsu was one of the cutest, sweetest people to grace this Earth. He was kind, considerate, and made himself small in most situations. He wanted what was best for those around him even when it sometimes meant putting himself on the back burner. What people didn’t know was that even at home, hidden away from prying eyes and inquisitive journalists, he kept that adorable nature that had made him so endearing to you. He wasn’t childlike, per se. He simply had an almost naive gentleness that made you feel safe and loved in ways you hadn’t experienced with anyone else.

Of course there were times when he “acted his age” and showed that he was a mature adult who could have serious conversations and make you feel heard and understood at a deeper level. But then you’d have times where you’d simply look at him and your heart melted at the way his eyes shone with stars and seemed to hold depths of wonder or love that you couldn’t begin to comprehend. This was one of those moments.

Cooking up dinner for Jungsu was a weekly ritual— most nights you had leftovers or takeout because you were both so busy, but one night a week you made sure to cook him something nice and he made sure to be home on time to eat it with you. He always made up for it over the weekends by making you breakfast in bed when he didn’t have to be at the company as early.

Today was meant to be a night that Jungsu came home and had a home cooked meal with you. Usually, he would come home just in time to eat— it was like magic, how he seemed to always arrive just as you placed the last dish on the table. Instead, as you pull ingredients from the fridge, your favorite playlist trailing from your phones speakers, the front door swings open with a light bang. You peek around the corner to spot Jungsu, propping his body against the wall as he struggles to take off his shoes in the entranceway.

You notice him begin to tilt forward and you dart towards him just in time to wedge your arms in the way to brace his fall. You huff as you catch his weight, lowering him to sit on the lip of the entryway so you can help him out of his shoes. Once you slip his slippers on, you lift him to his feet, sniffling slightly, and you finally notice how warm his body is against yours.

“Oh Jungsu, darling, are you sick?” You speak more to yourself than him as you guide him towards your bedroom. Despite that, he groans softly, his head hanging down to look at the floor as he stumbles along beside you.

He had left before you woke up this morning, so you don’t know how he felt when he had gone to work, but guessing by how terrible he seems to feel at this moment, you assume that he was already fighting whatever this is when he woke up. Despite how much you often admire his work ethic, he truly threatens his wellbeing at times, working even when his body needs the rest.

As you finally make it into your bedroom and approach your bed, you reach out a hand to tug back the comforter. When it’s far enough from the pillows, you lower Jungsu’s body onto the mattress, tugging off his shoes and tucking his feet under the blanket. His eyes are closed and his breath whistles as he exhales deeply at the sensation of the soft mattress against his back.

As you pull the blanket over his body, you press the back of your hand to his forehead. It’s clammy and warm, a definite sign that he has a fever, which was undoubtably made worse from working in the small band room with the rowdy other members. You loved them all, but other than Gunil, those boys were mostly in their own (very loud) worlds. You don’t doubt that Gunil just realized Jungsu was ill and made him go home early.

“Darling, you really should have stayed home if you weren’t feeling well.” You gently reprimand and you drag your fingers gently down his cheeks to show him that you mean only the best by your words.

He reaches up to hold your hand, his palms just as sweaty as his forehead as he pulls your hand to his lips so he can grace your knuckles with a soft kiss.

“It was only some sniffles. I didn’t know it would get this bad.” His voice is strong, despite the wheezing nature of his breaths as he sighs again. His eyes open, his eyebrows lifting as he looks to you with an adorable pout. “I’m sorry I’m sick on dinner night.” His eyes begin to shine and you quickly shush him, reaching to kiss his forehead in reassurance.

“It’s okay, baby. I’ll go make you something to make you feel better, you just lay here and rest a bit. We can eat in bed today.” You brush a hang through his damp hair, smiling at him as he slowly closes his eyes again. He mumbles a barely coherent affirmative and thanks as you can see his body relax into a state of rest.

You smile at him, even though he can’t see you, before you turn from the room. You were planning on making a fried rice recipe, but now, you don’t think that would be the best thing for Jungsu in his state of illness. You dunk your head into the fridge to look at what you have as options to make him that might help. You have some left over broth from a previous soup recipe that still had a week before it expired, and you have plenty of vegetables that were going to go into your rice that would work in a soup instead. You begin pulling things from the fridge, returning other ingredients you don’t need.

You continue playing your playlist, although at a lower volume in case Jungsu calls to you for something he needs. You begin cutting up the vegetables for the soup, pouring them into a large pot over heat to cook before adding in the broth. As you wait for the broth to boil, you fill a glass with cool water and some Tylenol for the fever to bring to Jungsu.

He was asleep when you enter the room, so you decide to place the glass and pills on the table beside him. You make a mental note to have him take them before he begins to eat, but you know he needs the rest while the food cooks, so you quietly exit the room to check on the progress.

The food takes a little while longer to cook than you were hoping— after another 20 minutes, the food is finally finished. While it was cooking, you placed some rolls into the oven to toast to go on the side. You ladle soup into two bowls, place them onto a tray-table along with the slices of bread, some napkins, spoons, and your glass of water. You turn off the music and slide your phone into your pocket before you gently lift the heavy tray, afraid of spilling any of the hot liquid onto yourself.

Slowly shuffling your way down the hallway, you focus heavily onto keeping the tray level. It takes you twice as long making it to the bedroom as it usually would, but you manage to make it and place the tray on your bedside table without making a mess. You go back to Jungsu’s side of the bed, resting a hand on his shoulder to nudge him out of his rest. You hate to wake him when he’s so sick, but you know that he’ll heal better if he gets some protein in his system too.

He hums as he opens his eyes, a hand coming up to rub at them sleepily like a small child.

“The food is done, and I have some medicine you should take.” You whisper. You don’t need to stay quiet, but something about his puffy, sick face and his shiny, tired eyes make you want to be as small and quiet as possible. You want to be as non-disruptive as you can be tomorrow.

He yawns widely before beginning to sit up, pulling the blanket up to his chest as he settles back against the pillows and headrest comfortably. You grab the pill and water, handing both him as he smiles at you. He takes the pill, handing you back the water and looking towards the food.

“That smells amazing, sweetie. I’m sorry you had to change your meal last minute.” He seems to be pouting a lot tonight, but his illness definitely accounts for his childish, under-the-weather behavior.

“Don’t apologize! This soup is better for the cloudy weather we had today anyway.” You try to lighten the mood with a light joke, taking his water with you back around the bed.

You place it onto the tray before you climb into bed beside him. You pull the tray into your lap, angling your body so your upper-half faces him. You smile at the boy beside you, his hair a mess from his nap, but his eyes more alert as they find yours.

“Let’s get some food into you before bed. How does that sound?” You say, reaching for one of the spoons without breaking eye contact from him. He nods, a smile splitting his face as he looks to where your hand as successfully found the spoon without burning yourself on the still hot bowls.

You turn to look as you dip the spoon into the first bowl of soup, lifting it up gently to not spill. You hover a hand beneath it as you gently blow on the warm broth before bringing it to Jungsu’s lips.

He opens his mouth gratefully, closing slowly around the warm metal. His eyes close as he hums at the taste and warmth of the soup, pulling back so the spoon slides from between his lips as he swallows what you’ve fed him.

You place his spoon down and grab your own, repeating the process with yourself. You don’t know what warms your bones more, the homemade food before you or the gentle look in Jungsu’s eyes as he watches you go to grab his spoon again.

You rationalize that despite him feeling sick, he is fully capable of feeding himself. He is a grown man, and not some small child, but this small form of help makes you feel like you’re doing more for him than you know you are. Something about taking the time to carefully bring spoonfuls of the soup to him makes you feel better about the situation. You can’t do much for him while he is sick; his body is the real fighter, defending him against whatever illness is plaguing him at the moment. But to bring him medicine, make him food, and (as odd as it might feel for a moment) helping him to eat so he can rest makes you feel like you are helping, even just slightly.

The fact that Jungsu seems to almost anticipate this from you helps to calm any anxiety you have about coming across as odd. Jungsu doesn’t reach for his spoon or bowl, even during the breaks of you taking a spoonful of your own soup for yourself. He waits, hands folded in his lap, a look of content on his face as he grins at you.

Eventually, both bowls are empty and you’ve finished the slices of toast as well. You move the tray onto the table beside you, intent on standing to bring them to the sink and prepare yourself for bed. However, as you go to roll over, Jungsu’s arms, surprisingly full of strength again after his rest, reach out to wrap around your waist, pulling you back against the bed and his body.

You know you should probably stay in the guest room, away from the sick boy beside you, lest you get sick as well. But the warmth radiating from his body and the way he nuzzles his face into your shoulder loosens up your muscles and stops any will you have to fight him.

Despite how gross you felt from not getting ready for bed, you were glad you had changed into leggings and washed your face before Jungsu had gotten home. You often do, so that you don’t feel gross from your long days while you’re home enjoying time with your boyfriend.

He sighs deeply and you can feel his body relax as you welcome into your arms as well. He presses himself against you further, if that were even possible, and you mentally laugh at the fact that Jungsu truly becomes a baby when he’s feeling under-the-weather. You run your hand through his hair, lightly scratching your nails against his scalp. He hums at the feeling, his arms going limp slowly as he begins to slip into sleep.

You close your eyes as well, feeling your own body follow Jungsu’s lead and relaxing into the bed below you, holding Jungsu against your body gently.

You didn’t mind if you got sick from this, at the end of the day. Nothing was better to you than spending an evening with your boyfriend, curled up in bed, eating good food and taking care of each other, physically or emotionally.

[joocomics]

remember your first: part two

read part one here

pairing: hyeongjun x fem!reader

genre: smut, angst wc: 13.2k (uhm)

summary: music is what started your friendship with your college classmate han hyeongjun, but your virginity is what made it really blossom

warnings: corruption kink, degradation, humiliation kink, smoking (weed and cigarettes)

contains: hard dom!junhan, sub!reader, friends to lovers trope, protected & unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names, spit kink, face slapping (f!rec), spanking, marking, lots of biting, cussing, name calling (slut/whore), exhibitionism, voyeurism, car sex, choking (f!rec), oral sex (m!rec), pillow humping, pussy slapping, few angsty moments (fear of commitment)

Hyeongjun doesn’t look at you the same way as before.

You noticed that his eyes shine with a new light every time he gets closer to you now, far more intense and prideful, but that only makes his gaze even more magical.

He fucks with that same wild energy too. His mouth hangs open with teeth digging in your flesh when he’s inside you getting squeezed by your walls that have gotten so familiar to him; so used to the way he glides aggressively splitting you open. Never have you ever thought even in your dreams that something could feel so amazing, but Hyeongjun shows you everyday how little you know about the different kinds of pleasure. There’s not one thing you would dare to change about the things that happen between you and him once your bodies connect. You cannot imagine it any other way.

Your skin is his canvas and the marks of the love bites he paints you with are the result of the hunger that overwhelms his body every time you’re in his presence. He covered you in bright purple blemishes that you wore with pleasure underneath your clothes while the pretty names he called you while making them wouldn’t leave your mind. Night after night you observed the colorful shapes in the mirror, caressing them with fingertips like they were the initials of his name.

Only one mark is missing and as much as you have trust in him you couldn’t help but wonder when will it come.

When is he going to make you his?

Hyeongjun had a feeling that he’ll get obsessive after getting his first taste of you, but he didn’t expect to suck at controlling it.

Well, is there a single person out there who has control over their addictions? Most likely not, but Hyeongjun was naive enough to think he’d be the first.

The more dangerous thing is that he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to trace his hands over your naked body while having to swallow half of his desires. He doesn’t want to fuck you with only half of his greed… not that he does, but he should be when he’s still not used to the idea of commitment - something he knows it’s going through your mind.

Some of the things he does with you he’s done before with other girls, but they all felt completely different. With you, he puts your pleasure first while with them he thought all about himself.

He can’t completely pinpoint what exactly changed the way he sees you. When did the lines between schoolmates, friends and friends with benefits (which term he hates the sound of) become so blurry? Before, you were the girl from his lectures that has great taste in music and he enjoyed killing time with; that he occasionally jerked off at the thought of on days when you’ve talked about sex and virginity. But eventually something shifted - from just being curious about what kind of kinks and fantasies a virgin girl can hide, he ended up blending them with his own. It was supposed to be a one time thing where he helps you out by taking your virginity and feeding his curiosity, but now as a result… He can’t get you out of his head.

The thing is, he can’t force himself to sleep with others to make it happen either.

He raises his hand in the air when he notices your silhouette in the distance. Standing out is one of your qualities and he learned that about you the first day he saw you.

Beams of sunlight adorns your face as you go down the stairs of the university building and head towards his direction. The light makes the warm smile on your lips even harder not to stare at.

“Hey,” you greet him.

He’s sitting on one of the wooden benches with a burning cigarette in hand. Your coy smile grows even wider after he returns with one of his own. It really seems that Hyeongjun doesn’t realise the influence his pleasant smile can have.

“You skipped today too.” You sit down next to him glancing down at his ripped jeans.

He shrugs his shoulders simultaneously moving the cigarette into his other hand so the smoke doesn’t get into your face.

“I’m here now.” He steals a glance at your side profile when you look away. “Do you still want to see where we practice?”

“Sure.”

You step out of Hyeongjun’s car and follow after him. You arrived at the apartment building where he shares a flat with one of his band members, but instead of staying in one of the rooms, Hyeongjun guides you to the basement.

You slowly walk down the stairs when you see him making a pause at the last two steps before continuing.

“Oh, I didn’t know he was going to be here.”

The first thing you notice when entering the basement is a brunette guy sleeping on the sofa that’s placed in the left side of the room. There’s a small coffee table across from it and an armchair with a decorative cushion. A large carpet with a rich pattern keeps the spot looking nice and finished while the instruments are all on display on the other side of the place.

After you get closer you realise that the guy who’s still asleep despite your presence is the drummer.

“We can come back another time,” you suggest with a whisper.

“Don’t worry.” Hyeongjun says in his usual tone. He looks pretty much unconcerned about waking up his band member. “The building can get caught on fire and he still wouldn’t wake up.”

“If you say so.”

You observe the space while roaming around. It’s interesting to see another side of Hyeongjun, especially one that makes up such a big part of his life. The fact he's presenting more details of himself to you that aren't visible to others, makes you even more fond of the connection that's forming between you.

“It’s nice. Do you get any noise complaints?”

“The neighbours are pretty chill about it.” He slouches on the armchair, checking you out while you view his guitar up close. “We talked about it with them the day we moved, they’re okay with it as long as we don’t play late at night.”

“You’re lucky.”

You nod impressed.

“Yeah, we’re grateful.”

As you walk back to Hyeongjun, you take a peek at his band member who’s still asleep, and sit on the carpet. You run your palm over the soft fabric as you rest on your knees, but you quickly get distracted by another thing. The heat from Hyeongjun’s gaze lingers on your face, bringing subtle warmth to your cheeks that makes you feel fuzzy. There are moments like this one where it feels like you look in his eyes for the very first time.

“What is it?” Your question comes out in a low fragile whisper.

“I just like looking at you.”

Hyeongjun tilts his head while holding the pillow in his lap. Meanwhile his one leg stretches out towards you resulting in his foot sneaking between your knees.

“Spread your legs more.”

His demand slices the silence of the room.

You do as he instructed which causes your mini skirt to slide up your bare thighs. Your hands stay still on top of them as he’s told you before that they should.

“Good,” he mutters, “but not enough. Strip for me.”

Once you finally start moving your hands visibly shake in the air with excitement.

The jacket comes off first, then your blouse. Then your bra; the piece that really made your heart beat like crazy. Your bare skin gets shivers from the colder temperature of the basement as the clothes pile on the floor.

You stand up and unzip your skirt while trying to be as quiet as you can; the piece drops in your feet with a muffled sound. Your thumbs are just about to sneak underneath your panties, but Hyeongjun suddenly stops you.

“Leave them on. They’re pretty like you.”

He tosses the pillow to the floor and the first few seconds you can’t understand what he means by that.

“You must have done it before,” he leans back as the corner of his lips curl with a daring look, “before I popped your cherry.”

You nod and position your body on top of the firm cushion just like you’ve secretly done a couple of times in your bedroom with your own pillows. The fabric of this one is pretty rough and tight, and you can already tell it wouldn’t take long to get off with it. Especially with the energy of Hyeongjun’s words stimulating your brain even further.

“There you go,” Hyeongjun grins, watching you sway your hips for the first time. “I knew you’d be good at this. You’ve tried all sorts of things before me, haven’t you?”

“Mhm…” you nod with bottom lip tucked between your teeth.

Pressing your clit harder against the surface brings you a subtle hint of delight. Your hands grip the cushion as you repeat the motion to set the pace when you pick up a noisy movement from behind your back that causes you to freeze.

Hyeongjun doesn’t give it a thought though, and asks another question while his friend seems to be (hopefully) just changing his napping position.

“In what other pathetic ways have you pleased yourself, huh?”

“One time…” You unfocus your attention from the sofa and bring it back on Hyeongjun who’s still in the same position with elbows on his knees. They’re widely spread out making you want to crawl up his body.

“Keep humping as you talk.”

You notice that he doesn’t call you the sweet names like he always does, and as influential as his sentences are, you can’t ignore the small empty gaps between them.

“One time I touched myself to the sound of my neighbours… fucking.”

“What a pretty pervert,” he utters, and finally you sense some emotion in his voice.

He catches your nipples with his thumbs and index fingers and pulls to see you react as they perk up. A satisfied grin forms on his lips when you hiss from sensitivity, but he keeps going, toying with them through pinching, squeezing and tugging while his eyes stare at the spot where your clothed pussy looks for friction.

Your hands stay behind you, supporting your steady rhythm of rocking back and forth which gradually increases the warm pressure inside you. A string of spit lands in his fingers and the way Hyeongjun spreads the wetness across both of your nipples makes you let out a quiet, but deep sigh.

He gives your breasts a few last squeezes before leaning back in the armchair, approving of the way you instantly fall forward so your cunt can press harder into the pillow.

It’s like the more aroused you get, the more you get reminded of the third person in the room. Not in a bad way though, you realise. You find the dose of adrenaline appealing, but the urge to look around still doesn’t go away.

“What is it?” Hyeongjun’s relaxed brows furrow. “Scared?“

He chuckles lightly at your lack of response, but to you the sound rings dangerously loud. Just like the obvious silence and the warm air that gets thicker every time he opens his mouth.

“If he wakes up you’ll just get a little humiliated that’s all.” He glances down at the pillow underneath you.

“I’m not scared,” you state through gentle airy words.

With each passing moment you start breathing more heavily; your panties get wetter and your fingers turn more eager to touch your skin, especially when your attention goes to Hyeongjun’s hand that palms his growing bulge. You wish he was touching himself too, but you’re not sure how to ask. He simply adjusts the boner inside his jeans which are the same color as the chopped nail polish he’s wearing, watching you lick your lips at the sight. If your pleading eyes staring with hunger weren’t enough to let him know that you need him, then your tongue surely does.

You’re going to have to only watch his veiny hands occasionally ghosting over his crotch, because for now, he seems to be fully focused just on you.

“Keep going.”

A mellow moan slips from your lips, assuring him you have no intentions of stopping. You shut your eyes while your clouded mind tries its best to focus on controlling any other urges that may come out of your throat.

What is going to happen if you get louder? If you get caught? How would it feel to be seen like this… Will the shame make you stop or will it make you want to cum?

The pace of your hips speeds up, bringing a pink color to your cheeks as your aroused bud grazes the fabric; your muscles tense in front of Hyeongjun’s eyes from the effort to chase the rising rush quicker.

“Hyeongjun—“

“Shh, I know,” he leans close with two fingers searching for your open mouth. “I’m starting to think you secretly want to get caught.”

You peer up at his dark eyes, slightly shaking your head, disagreeing.

“I don’t believe that,” he smirks, tracing your dry lips with his thumb.

“Please…” you whisper while guiding one hand up to your neck. Your lower body keeps moving against the cushion and at this point it feels so good, but you still need something more; something from him. “Please,” you stare at him with angelic eyes.

Hyeongjun observes your fingers around your throat and the pleasure that sight brings him settles in his core.

He watches your figure trapped between his legs; begging on the ground helplessly. Your hand tenses and your lips part, creating small hitched sounds that make his heart flutter.

You’ve clearly gotten addicted to the way he fucks you that now you can’t cum without bringing some of his touch in the process.

Instead of replacing your hand with his own, as you hope he will, he just intertwines his fingers, sitting with an anticipation written on his face.

“Do something on your own for once, doll.”

This time he whispers and the tone digs into your flesh.

“Don’t act spoiled,” he adds, and the effect it has on you shows in the way your eyes shut. “That’s not how I thought you, is it?”

His voice is soft, blunt and sharp all at the same time. Most times it’s enough to help you get closer to your high by the way it makes the warm knot in your tummy tighter just by speaking.

Even with your eyes closed you’re one hundred percent sure he’s not leaving you out of sight. The heat radiating from his heavy gaze is burning your skin; the parts of your neck where your fingers keep squeezing to limit your breath.

You trace your free hand down your stomach, letting your manicured nails scratch your delicate skin. There’s some pleasant stinging coming from the way you desperately dig them in your thigh as the overwhelming knot inside you throbs.

“Look at you,” Hyeongjun admires your twitching silhouette with all your little touches. “Such a pretty whore.”

He’s in complete trance right now; eyes glued to your body, waiting for your next move. The next quiet broken moan, the next time your eyes will open to look at him as you choke yourself.

You’re so close to cumming, yet your face is contorted by multiple needs still waiting to be fulfilled, and the fact you can’t handle them on your own even when he asks you to is extremely exciting to him.

Hyeongjun suddenly stands on his feet.

You’re too lightheaded and too deep into the moment to follow his moves and see him adjusting the camera of his phone above you.

He holds the device from a high position, snapping a shot of your face in bliss.

“I want to remember you like this.” He speaks, as you stay with your head thrown back and throat hugged by your hand.

Once you blink up at him from the ground, your arms act on their own will and wrap around his leg. You hold him tightly while grinding your clit with force to reach your desired peak; to feel the wave finally hitting you.

As you hump the pillow intensely, you press your face against Hyeongjun’s leg, biting your lip as hard as you can so not one sound escapes your mouth.

The way you cling onto him out of breath leaves Hyeongjun stunned. He stays still with hand resting on top of your skull as you ride out your climax. A quiet whimper rings in the pure silence while your fingers grasp his jeans as if the ground can swallow you whole.

Your body squirms from the thrill and you fall forward on your hands after letting go of him.

Exhaustion begins to take over your body the minute the rush starts to fade away. You’re still resting on the carpet with your face down when you sense Hyeongjun’s touch on your spine; more specifically the tip of his fingers moving up and down like feathers.

“You’re full of surprises.” He says before telling you to get dressed.

There are days when Hyeongjun is hard to reach, and there are days when he calls you first thing in the morning.

Today is one of them.

His roommate is away for the weekend and he invites you over at their flat to keep him company, because he’s going to be alone for two days. As you pack your pajama set and some of the essentials you’ll need in a bag you can’t control the scattered thoughts in your mind that keep on coming unwanted…

How is it possible that you feel like you know everything about him and nothing at all at the same time? You like to think that you know him, but can you really say that? It feels wrong considering how he slips away just when you thought the string that keeps you together gets tighter. It’s like you’re misleading yourself.

Apart from having no idea what you are, you still fuck a lot.

Being in his arms is your favourite thing ever. He knows each and every one of your desires without you having to say them out loud, and still to this day, you can’t find the right words to explain how good it feels to have somebody in your life knowing you like this.

Why is it so easy for him to read you, but for you to read him, is only becoming more difficult as time passes by?

“Are you high?” You ask, but you earn an immediate answer when you settle down on the couch and see the joint in the ashtray. You thought you smelled something in the thick air when you walked in. “You are.”

“A little bit.” He sits next to you with a lazy smile. “You took too long to arrive, I got bored.”

“When did your roommate leave?”

“Like two hours ago.” He picks up the blunt, but before inhaling from it, he turns to you with a hand over your thigh. “I really wanted to spend time with you.”

You smile at his words and he responds by giving your thigh a squeeze.

“Gonna share it with me?” He suggests after taking a hit.

The smoke flows through his lips while his voice comes out with a subtle raspiness. He can make everything seem irresistible. You know it by now, because after you met him all kinds of things that would’ve alarmed you before, now look compelling.

“I didn’t know you smoke weed.”

“I do it once in a while when I want to get my mind off of things.” He explains staring down at the floor. His voice slows down the more he speaks. “I got too much in my head right now.”

“Like what?” You keep your focus on him, searching for more explanation.

“Different things…” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I dropped out of uni.”

“Really?” You exclaim, but you quickly realise that it was just a matter of time. He never really fitted there, and with the amount of lectures he skipped…

“I want to focus on my band. I think we have a chance to make it.”

Apart from sounding drowsy from the settling effect of the weed, he sounds more hopeful when he says that, and you know he really means it.

“I believe it too.”

Hyeongjun faces you, and you peer into his dazed eyes. His pupils are bigger, but relaxed, making his expression look more… vulnerable. It makes you wonder if they’re going to let you see a new side of him.

His one hand cups the side of your face.

“Here,” he says almost in a whisper before tugging your lower lip with his thumb. The movement signals you to open your mouth a bit and take the joint between your lips. He holds it as you inhale, and takes it out seconds later.

You cough into your palm after your organs welcome the drug, overwhelming you with the unfamiliar feeling.

“How is it?” Hyeongjun asks, watching you think for a second.

“New.”

A satisfied smirk appears on his lips and stays after you take a several hits after your first one. He follows every movement of yours with his glossed over eyes and he seems proud with how quickly you get better at it. Another reason why he keeps staring is simply because he enjoys the way the smoke seeps through your soft lips, it’s calming, and it stops him from thinking about anything else.

Although he’s silent you know Hyeongjun is enjoying this, and you continue sharing the weed with him, wanting to keep this intimate experience going.

He finishes the joint with your legs resting over his lap. He listens to you talking about the latest things that have happened in uni and the approaching finals while he shared about the possibility of his band having the chance to release their first single.

“Will you still support me now that I’m a dropout?”

“What kind of question is that?” You laugh lazily at the vagueness of it before giving the obvious answer. “Of course.”

Hyeongjun’s one hand travels up and down your leg, caressing you so slowly. He probably doesn’t mean anything by this. He’s probably unconsciously seeking to gain some physical contact. However, despite your surroundings occasionally spinning as you look around, and your brain functioning a bit slower than usual... something strong in your body awakens.

“You’re too good to be true, Y/N.”

His hazed eyes roam over your legs until you move them to sit on his lap.

“Am I not enough to calm you down?”

“What do you mean?” Hyeongjun’s brows gather, he’s fuddled from the weed and needs more context.

“You said you smoke to get your mind off of things…” You narrow your eyes to his lips a bit shy from having to express your thoughts in details. “I was wondering if I can be enough to calm you down when you need it?”

For the first time Hyeongjun doesn’t try to hide the change in his gaze from you after you meet it again; he doesn’t try to prevent the emotion that sometimes creeps up and makes him feel too raw in front of you.

“Sometimes…” he admits, “but there are times when you overwhelm me.”

You stare at each other with red washed off eyes, dry lips and fuzzy minds that are too heavy from the rush, but also from the feelings they carry.

“In a good kind of way though,” he adds.

You lower your head, resting it in the crook of his shoulder and for a moment you just stay like this; immersing yourself into the comforting feeling of his embrace. The pungent smell of the weed clashes with his cologne as you take a deep breath.

You don’t realise how much time has passed since you’ve been staying like this, but at one point you place a wet kiss on the side of his neck and the contact awakens a desire for more. Seconds later, you go for another one, and a third one. You kiss his skin that’s exposed from his black hoodie, then trace your tongue along the shell of his ear.

Hyeongjun tilts his head silently, letting you continue as his hands move from your lower back to your ass, groping it through such soft squeeze. You’ve never felt him touch it like this before.

As you cover his neck with sloppy smooches your hips make a move to let him feel you through your thin shorts.

“Can we…” he suddenly speaks quietly, and you pull back. “Can we just stay like this? I’m tired.”

At first you nod in agreement, but then that urge to please him that has been living inside you for so long now, calls at you again.

This time, you decide to act on it.

“Hyeongjun.. Can I do something for you?” Your lustful eyes look almost pleading as you ask the question. “I want to please you, you don’t need to do anything in return.”

Hyeongjun’s face creases when he smirks lazily at you. His knuckles stroke your flushed cheek before his long fingers put a few strands of hair behind your ear. He’s simultaneously observing your familiar features.

“You want to please me.” He feels the need to repeat your words, to really feel them out.

“So much…” you add, hoping you will get the chance to do so.

He silently nods and you carefully leave his lap. His arms stay on both sides of his body, and you quickly realise you’re supposed to strip him from his clothes.

You unbutton his pants, then tug them down leaving them on the ground. After you remove his boxers too, you kneel between his legs, fixating your attention on his soft dick.

“Make it hard in your mouth.” Hyeongjun says after you take it with your hand. “Okay, pretty?”

You gather saliva on your tongue before pressing it flat on the underside of his dick. You push all of his length through your lips and start moving up and down, sucking in a calm steady pace. A moment later, a much stronger feeling of fullness settles into your mouth. Your cheeks turn hollow and your lips expand as you begin to breathe more heavily than before, because he’s now fully hard.

You blink up at Hyeongjun and catch him leaning his head back against the couch with his eyes shut closed. His lips are slightly parted and seconds later they let out a sigh, because you slowly empty your mouth.

Your hand grips his base gently before gliding along his size, spreading your spit everywhere. You're so delighted to have him like this, you can't stop staring as he gets wetter to the point you're able to hear it, and as he grows harder to the point his hands can't stay still.

“Shit,” Hyeongjun sighs again, blinking down at your direction. “Feels good.”

His dazed eyes barely manage to follow the slow motion of your fist, how it stops at the head so you can pay special attention to his tip with your thumb; he really wants to, but it's difficult to concentrate. The little act sends a wave down his spine, and you see him squirm as his eyes squeeze in bliss.

As you slowly stroke his erection that’s now flushed and slippery in your palm, you hear Hyeongjun’s low voice.

“Your mouth...” The weakness in his tone makes it seem like he barely has any energy left to say more than that. Only an airy moan follows quickly after.

You swallow him bit by bit. With every part of you, you try to perform your best at this moment; to please him the exact way he needs, just like he pleases you every time you’re together.

You push yourself down his cock as much as you can, inviting his tip in the deepest spot of your throat. This forces the first clear moan out of Hyeongjun’s mouth which makes your tummy swirl with satisfaction. The effects of the weed made him really quiet, and since you got down on him he’s been mostly releasing quick heavy breaths and few occasional humms whenever you massage his balls.

“Y/N—“ he spits out your name weakly as he begins to pant. He sounds different in comparison to how he is when he fucks you, but you like it, because it means he's opening up to you.

You flutter with lashes, looking up at him, but you only see his throat gulping.

Soreness starts to spread in your throat when you continue to suck him off without a break. He’s getting closer and you don’t want to withdraw until he cums, so you bare the pain along with the stiffness in your jaw and keep bobbing your head up and down.

Hyeongjun’s muscles clench harder while the room starts spinning once again. He’s feeling warm, so warm that he feels his forehead dripping, and his chest and back sticky. His hands grip his hoodie and pull it up, throwing it in a random direction.

“Fuck—“ he groans in a higher pitched tone, feeling you slipping away.

You gasp for air, jerking him off on the instant so his pleasure doesn’t fade down. Your teeth chew on your lip in concentration as you move your fist as fast as possible, filling the room with squelching noise.

“Fuck, keep going…” he whispers, squeezing his eyes tightly. “Keep going, f-faster—“

You do as he says, groaning from the process of getting to the quick pace he needs.

You lean in as you guide his cock towards your mouth at the same time and anticipate his orgasm while making the last few strokes.

For a split second Hyeongjun’s vision turns white. He releases on your face, staining almost every feature of it, but also your hair, your chest and few spots of the floor.

He came so much, and so hard, that his thighs continued shaking few seconds after he was done.

He leans back against the couch with chest heaving as he pants lightheaded like he hasn’t been in a long time. His head feels empty, but also too heavy on his shoulders.

Yet, he still reaches out for your face - two of his fingers glide onto your cheek, smearing the thick white essence. His heavy eyes can barely stay open as he slides them to your glossy lips, coating them with even more of his cum before forcing them onto your tongue.

“Good kitten.” His raspy voice slurs which only turns you on even more.

You’re about to get up when his hand grips your wrist.

It takes him a moment to speak out again so soon, because everything is on slow motion right now.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m just going to grab something to clean us up, I’ll be right back.”

After hearing this, he lets go and lays on his back, waiting for you to return while being so close to falling sleep.

On Sunday morning you wake up and the first thing you notice is the gloomy weather. The heavy rain is banging on the windows, filling the silence in Hyeongjun’s bedroom. This is your last day here and a part of you wishes the time could stop at this exact moment, because you've never felt more contented with your life before.

“When did you wake up?” You ask quietly without turning around.

He gives your shoulder a soft peck meanwhile the tip of his fingers continue to travel gently along your arm.

“Few minutes ago.” His voice is close to your ear, getting lazily drawn out through his lips. “How did you sleep?”

“Good,” you reply, resting on your back and tilting your head in his direction. “You?”

Hyeongjun humms in agreement not able to refrain from staring at your face. His eyes are hooded with sleepiness, heavy and softer than they are during the rest of the day, but they stay focused on your mouth regardless.

If he can go back in time to tell his past self that he will wake up next to you, and he will want to do it again tomorrow, he wouldn’t believe it. Not that he ever thought there is something wrong with you; he never disliked you or found your company unpleasant. It’s just that he has an important check list when it comes to girls he goes for, solely for the reason to avoid those who will want him to give them more of his time than he’s willing to, and his past self always followed it strictly.

If he can go back in time he will tell his past self that you’re not a girl that someone can walk away from easily.

“Did you dream about something?” You decide to ask.

In the mean time you notice his hand can’t stay in one place anymore. He drags his thumb on your cheekbone, then the rest of his fingertips brush your ear only to go down the side of your neck and continue roaming around your stomach.

“I rarely dream,” he replies. His other hand allows his head to rest in his palm while he keeps himself busy with your body. Drawing different shapes on different places.

You’re wearing a loose flimsy top with sleeping shorts that are hidden from the bedsheets. The soft thin layer of fabric fails to hide the way your nipples perk up when Hyeongjun’s fingers trace the exposed area of skin under your bellybutton.

“That sounds kinda boring.” You admit, peering at his face, but his eyes seem fixated on your chest. This brings a warm thrill to your body especially when you sense his hand sneaking under your top. He caresses your skin everywhere without getting in contact with your boobs, which you secretly desire.

“I’m getting enough fun when I’m awake.” He says, and brings his gaze back to yours again, giving you a half-smile.

Hyeongjun lowers his hand watching your chest go up and down; small breaths slipping from your lips. He guides it down your lower tummy and his middle finger discreetly explores where your clothed clit is. You’re not wearing any underwear under the shorts and he can feel your cunt nicely as he moves it in a straight line.

It’s fascinating how little you need him to do in order to fold. You’re already wetting your mouth and biting your bottom lip.

Hyeongjun chuckles, and surprises you by swiftly moving the fabric to the side. What he realises afterwards makes him grin.

“Do you know how fuckin’ wet you are?”

You shut your eyes in embarrassment then squeeze them tightly, because the same middle finger that teased you a moment ago enters you in one push. The sudden contact feels so fulfilling.

“Why is that, doll?” He asks, gliding it in a nice pace without pulling out fully. “Answer now.”

“I-I don’t know.” You mumble, not knowing how to gather your thoughts quickly enough in this moment. “I liked the way you’re touching me, and… it happened.”

“Look at me.” He demands.

You open your eyes, but your mouth widens a bit as he adds another finger inside your arousal.

“I want you to look at me when you speak from now on.”

You nod, whispering a yes, as he goes deeper. His thumb simultaneously rubs your clit as he massages your walls, forcing the collected wetness to grow.

The sheets stay on top of your lower tummy which warms up more and more from the overwhelming pressure. You spread your legs widely, arching your back as Hyeongjun’s experienced fingers curl up to find your sensitive spot. Your body automatically does everything it can to adjust in a way he can aim at it with ease; it squirms in anticipation to feel his movements bump harder, deeper as possible, but most importantly - harder.

“You’re so needy,” Hyeongjun leans closer to your face, brushing his lips lightly against yours, “pretty girl.”

A weaker moan escapes your throat as he speeds up the movements provoking you to tighten around his fingers. His knuckles provoke squelching noises to seep through the sheets.

“What is it?” You hear the light amusement in his tone once he acknowledges your soft gaze; how you flutter with lashes at him as another way to beg. “Want me to kiss you?”

“Please,” you whine.

Your response has Hyeongjun’s hand slowing down which makes your body loosen up into the mattress.

His tongue sneaks through his mouth and caresses your bottom lip through a soft licking that makes your heart skip a beat. He repeats the same thing again, but slower, so you hesitate to do anything except stay still allowing him to explore that part of you however he wants; for as long as he needs.

You love the thrill of the tip of his tongue once it enters your mouth discreetly. It meets yours and they glide against each other.

As your tongues twirl and play with one another without turning it into an actual kiss, you notice the sudden emptiness from his fingers pulling out of you.

Hyeongjun brings back the cotton fabric over your now even wetter pussy while his lips stay wrapped around your tongue. The quiet humm you make from the provocative sucking, and the way his palm presses against your intimate lips causes his boner to twitch. He feels the arousal that’s coating more and more of your shorts starting to wet his hand as he rubs up and down.

You both keep your eyes shut after he lets go of your tongue and allows his teeth to grab your lip and tug; a bit rougher in comparison to what he just did, but you’re more surprised that he didn’t do it sooner.

That’s when he finally kisses you. Deeply and intense, but it feels so naturally at this point. Everything does.

You exhale once he pulls back as the familiar rush keeps spreading in your chest.

“I always had a feeling that you’d turn out to be a really nasty girl, do you know that?” His hand quickly removes the bedsheet, uncovering your lower body. “Take these off.”

You remove your stained pajama shorts and Hyeongjun’s hand squeezes your thigh before finding its way back to your heat. The tip of his two fingers drags from top to bottom between your puffy lips, so lightly, but it makes you whimper from how good it feels. Just as he’s about to glide upward to your clit again, his palm goes in the air, then lands right on it with a smacking sound.

Two more slaps follow seconds later, but they land with a quicker speed and bigger force. The act makes you wince, but more because of the effect it has on the building arousal in your core, less because of the stinging pain. You keep your thighs widely open welcoming another hit, and another, feeling the need to cum creeping up more intensely.

“Fuck—“ you gasp.

“It’s written all over your pretty face.”

The slaps suddenly stop. Hyeongjun cups your pussy feeling the warmth radiating from your skin.

“More, please…” You open your eyes for the first time in a while. “Give me more.”

You look at each other and you can both feel the burning lust that is taking over your minds at the same time.

Hyeongjun moves his hand over your face and tilts your head to the side with a slap.

It never stops being exciting.

A certain memory of the night you lost your virginity, the night you will never forget, flashes in your mind. You often seem to come back to it, but it’s all because you’re starting to realise how truthful it is.

“Nothing will ever feel like this again…” Hyeongjun told you that night as he showed you what pleasure is for the first time.

It’s true, you know it. Nothing can compare to what you had that night in the plain hotel room, but nothing can get even close to what you keep creating together either.

The corners of your lips are tempted to smile, but you resist.

“Thank you,” you glance at him again with a coy expression, but he just stands up from the bed, remaining quiet.

He gets naked and as he turns around to put his clothes away you see all the scratches you left on his back. The marks never seem to go away completely, because your nails end up creating new ones every time.

Hyeongjun rolls a condom onto his erection before joining you back on the bed. His gaze shifts to your eyes to see if you’re ready, and once he catches the pleading sparkles in them and the way you bite your lip in anticipation, his head falls down. He loves watching the first few seconds of you swallowing him full; stretching to fit him perfectly.

He lets a string of spit fall on your cunt then spreads it everywhere with the head of his cock.

You watch his dark hair fall into his face as he concentrates on pushing his length into you. His eyes are concentrated, his brows subtly furrowed, nose scrunched as they always are whenever he savours the moment of sliding it in for the first time.

He doesn’t miss the whimper you make once you feel the light pain from the stretch, it goes straight into his veins, making his hunger grow. To not lose control over himself just yet, he bottoms out teasingly slow. He uses the moment to lift his gaze up at you.

“You’re still so fuckin’ tight.” He sighs enjoying the view of your scrunched face that gets marked by a slight pain as he glides the rest of his cock back in. “Come on, doll, loosen up for me. We’ve done it before.”

You breathe in deeply, realising his hips are starting to move forward quicker. The sudden steady pace has your mouth hanging open as it makes his length go through your wet walls smoothly.

“That’s it,” Hyeongjun praises you with a sharper smile. His eyes lower to his cock that’s being squeezed tightly as it keeps disappearing into your small entrance, and the sight of it only adds to the pleasure he receives from each pulse around his size.

You mewl out from the pleasure flooding your body. It invades your senses quickly like never before; as if he lit up a fire inside you. The next few thrusts Hyeongjun makes against your cervix come stronger, making you roll your eyes back.

“Fuck—“ He grunts, grabbing your hips. “You love it that much?” He lifts your lower body up from the mattress, moving his hands to your waist. His grip is painfully tight on your sides as he adjusts you in the air to keep fucking you, but from a different much more effective angle. “You can never get enough, you’re fuckin’ obsessed.”

Your fists don’t let go of the bedsheets even after his thrusts turn into continuous rugged slamming. His wrapped tip bumps deeper and stronger into your arousal, meeting the spot that has you seeing stars every time. The moment he lifts your ass up in the air your voice elevates in the room, mixing with the thunderstorm outside and the sound of Hyeongjun’s hips smashing into you.

“You love it, don’t you?” He spits out while controlling his breathing. “Being fucked like a whore.”

You press the side of your face into the mattress not able to respond on the moment from his cock not slowing down at all. The distracting knot in your core is burning up which stops you from comprehending his words and actions.

“A dumb whore at that.” He adds before clenching his jaw as a reaction to your walls tightening completely around him. He holds your lower half while watching you squirm from such an intense orgasm that for a moment you turn quiet before letting out the loudest sound he’s heard from you so far.

You’re still not able to open your eyes when an unexpected slap on the cheek finally brings you back to reality. You blink in Hyeongjun’s direction as he holds your face with his grip.

“Felt good, didn’t it?”

His eyes darken as he looks down at you nodding; they gain that predatory glow that you’ve seen other times before when he’s losing himself inside you. You wish you could steal it somehow and keep it forever.

“I’m being really nice with you… letting you cum when you need it after you don’t even acknowledge my questions.”

“I’m sorry…” You gently wrap hands around his wrist, fluttering with lashes as he stares at you. “It won’t happen again.”

He laughs at your words and leads his hand to your chest.

“That’s what all sluts say.”

He lets it sneak underneath the fabric of your loose top to take a hold of your one boob. The mess of your own arousal sticks to your skin as he gropes it roughly.

“What would you do if it wasn’t for me to fuck you all the damn time?”

He rocks back and forth steadily, keeping his throbbing cock moving inside your walls. Both of you can feel the way you get turned on all over again; how you clench desperately not wanting any of this to stop anytime soon. There’s a new type of desire that’s awakening inside you as he glides deeply and locks fingers around your neck.

“I’m so wet,” you breathe out. You acknowledge what Hyeongjun speaks to you, and you want to answer properly, but the words from your mouth come out totally different to what you want them to be.

Hyeongjun laughs sharply in response.

“I know, I can hear you.” He frees your throat and tugs on your top with his fist instead.

His teeth bite your neck and you moan.

“I’m…” you whine weakly again. He’s fucking you slowly, letting you catch your breath from your orgasm, but also unintentionally bringing you to a new one. “I’m gonna c-cum..”

“So soon?” The boy chuckles on top of you again. “You’re amusing me today, doll.”

He backs away, pulling out of you which causes your face to frown.

“Turn around.”

You flip on your stomach and Hyeongjun looks up and down your lower body.

“My marks are disappearing.”

It’s true, you noticed it the other day too. The violet blemishes are now much lighter, two of them almost completely gone.

He drags his hand across your skin, moving it from the back of your knee up to your thigh.

“Tsk, I really liked them.” He comments, giving your right butt cheek a squeeze. “They looked so pretty on you, don’t you think?”

Not only his eyes pay special attention to each mark he passionately created on your body, but his fingers too.

“Yeah,” you agree quietly, “it feels a bit lonely without them.”

Your words remain in Hyeongjun’s mind for a while. They slow down his train of thought and instead of saying something back, he lands a slap on one spot of your right cheek where his mark has almost vanished. He hits it again, but harder.

“Next time you touch yourself at home,” he leans down to speak at your ear; his warm palm stays where he just slapped you, “I want you to smack your ass here, okay?”

“Okay,” you reply. It’s not going to feel remotely the same, but you will do it regardless.

“Like this.” His hand lands harshly against you again and you squirm with your lips parting for a small moan. “Hard, baby.”

Your eyes open with surprise.

This is the first time he calls you baby.

“Don’t let my marks disappear again, alright?“

“I don’t think I can slap as hard as you,” you admit, peeking at him.

“You’re capable of many things, you have a real slut in you.” He pushes himself into you as you’re still laying down, then grabs a handful of your hair. “I’ll make sure you remember that.”

An hour and a half later as you’re resting under the bedsheets in the shared silence, somebody rings the doorbell and Hyeongjun slips into a pair of sweatpants to see who it is.

You don’t know how much time exactly passes, but even after the person is gone, Hyeongjun still doesn’t return.

You go to check on him, wondering if something happened. When you exit the room you find him sat on the couch, pointlessly staring at the wall in front of him.

After you sit next to him wrapped in your towel you’re surprised to see that he still doesn’t pay attention to your sudden appearance.

“Is everything okay?”

“We don’t have a bassist anymore.”

You remember his voice from the other day, when he said he believes that they can make it. It sounded so light and full of hope.

Now, it sounds nothing like that.

“I’m…” Your hand reaches out to comfort him, but he quickly stands up and walks away. You didn’t expect him to back away like this and the surprise leaves you speechless.

You watch him walk to the kitchen table to grab his pack of cigarettes.

You want to say something, but you’re not sure what. Telling him that there’s still few days left till the performance he was looking forward to and the guy may reconsider and come back sounds really stupid in your head. You remain silent.

You give him some space and go shower to freshen up. However, after you get dressed and return he’s still in the same spot, smoking.

He tells you he wants to be alone.

You tell him his roommate will be back in a few hours anyway, so you should really go home, and he agrees.

Hyeongjun replied to your text which you sent to let him know you’ve arrived home safely and told you he’d call tonight, but he didn’t, until the next day when it was a late afternoon.

But you decide to not comment on it.

“I’ve talked to so many people, the others did too.” He continues telling you about how the search for a new bassist is going. “I’m hoping that I’ve managed to convince this one guy that’s actually really talented. But you know I’m not very good with words, so I don’t know…”

“He heard you play so that’s already enough to convince him to agree.” You don’t hear a reaction from him so you ask: “When will you have an answer?”

“By tomorrow night. The gig is on Saturday, I need to know if I’ll have to ask someone else.”

This gig is very important for Hyeongjun and you can hear the frustration in his voice as he speaks. Something like this happening right after he dropped out of university, because everything was going so well with the band troubles him.

“Tell me something.”

You shift, getting more comfortable in your bed.

“Like what?”

“Anything you want.” He says more quietly. “I just need to hear your voice.”

“I was thinking about something actually,” you admit while recalling the memories of your weekend with him. You’re still a little upset that it had to end the way it did, but once you remember the rest of your time with him - the long hours of talking and kissing, seeing him so vulnerable while he showed you how to smoke for the first time, making breakfast together, showering together, laughing together… for a moment you forget that you couldn’t be of comfort for him when he needed it.

“On Sunday after we woke up… You called me baby.”

A nostalgic smile slowly grows on your face after you finish your sentence. You don’t know why, but it feels like it’s been forever since it happened, and you can’t wait to experience this again. It’s silly, but it’s true.

“Yeah, I think I did.”

Hyeongjun chuckles, moving his cellphone from his left ear to the right one.

“You always call me pretty girl, sweetheart or something similar, but you’ve never called me baby before.” You explain with the hope to not sound too foolish or sentimental. “I liked it.”

“What do you like about it?” He asks, still grinning. His hair is not tied up and he runs a hand through it to get it out of his face. A flash of memory of your fingers playing with it when you were lazing around in his flat pops up in his mind and he shuts his eyes. He remembers the nice feeling.

“I don’t know…” You giggle at the question, or more at what you’re about to admit. “It’s cute and sexy at the same time.”

“Like you.”

You notice how his voice starts to slow down especially after he yawns. It gets deeper and lower the sleepier he becomes. Before you leave him to rest you remind him of the plans you made during the weekend.

“You haven’t forgotten about Wednesday, right?”

“What’s happening on Wednesday?”

“Wednesday, seven thirty p.m. at the bar, meeting my best friend…” You stop talking and instead just listen carefully of what he’s going to say.

Hyeongjun laughs and you roll your eyes.

“I remember, baby.”

“Good.”

You cannot help, but smile stupidly and touch your lip with your fingertips as if they’re his.

He doesn’t need to see you to know how your whole body is probably reacting to this new nickname you earned. He’s always found your ability to pay such special attention to some of his actions interesting.

“Baby…” he repeats, but this time not for your pleasure, but his own.

It’s the day of the performance Hyeongjun was looking forward to for an entire month.

You’re walking towards the place with the dress you specifically bought for the night, but not feeling the excitement you would’ve expected to feel.

You feel almost no excitement at all.

You’re hoping for his success. You know he’ll do good, because he really has it in him, and the stage loves him, so most of all you hope that the guy who’s going to replace the former bassist shows up and performs well. It’s the guy Hyeongjun was hoping to agree to come play which is a good sign.

But you’re not feeling excited as you walk into the club and blend in with the crowd.

You look at your phone to see how many minutes are left till they start because you’re not in the mood to stay for longer than you need to.

This causes you to remember the last message you received from him.

“You don’t need to come if you don’t want to, but I’d like it if you’re there.”

You don’t order a drink, because you’re not in the mood for that either, and instead choose a spot with a nice view of the stage - one bar stool that’s still not taken - and wait.

Not more than five minutes later, the band comes out. Hyeongjun adjusts his guitar and stops behind the microphone. One half of his thick dark hair is in a ponytail that's framing his sharp face, making it hard to ignore how charming he is. The others prepare to start too as they thank everyone for coming, but you can’t focus on them for too long.

Hyeongjun’s tall slim figure drowns in red lights as the song begins to blast. Bright neon colors that only make him stand out even more. They remind you of the stain your lips left on his cheek once during one of your dates. The warm marks his teeth created on your skin. The top you wore on the day you met for the first time - when he noticed that you’re listening to his favorite band and decided to say hi and change your life forever. It also reminds you of the complicated emotions that boil inside your chest right now as you stand in the middle of this place, letting him only intensify them with each pulling of the strings.

You lock eyes for the first time and you notice how his lips turn up very slowly, a bit awkwardly even, because it takes him a few seconds to realise that you’re actually really here to see him.

He was so certain that you’re not going to come.

They play three more songs and the performance reaches its end.

You start making your way out through the stuffy club when a strong grip stops you from making your next step.

“You’re here.”

Those were the first words he said when you went out for the first time out of the university building too; when he invited you to see him play for the very first time, and later took you to the hotel. Or were they "you came"? Same thing. Why does he keep getting surprised that you continue to show up?

Hyeongjun looks in your eyes without letting go of your arm. He seems nervous and out of breath.

“I am.” You manage to say loudly enough for him to hear you. “Friends still support each other even when they fuck up.”

He suddenly lets go of you as if something out of nowhere burned his hand.

Friends. Friends. Friends.

The word echoes in his head causing him to feel like it’s about to explode. His jaw tenses as you just stare at each other. He's never seen you make such an ironic cold smile before.

He wants to say something about this; something that is going to show you that a friend is far from how he sees you, but he has the feeling that most of the words will get stuck in his throat and he’s going to choke.

“Thank you.” He murmurs. “I’ll buy you a drink. What do you—”

“I’m good.” You cut him off and turn around.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah.” You keep making your way towards the exit and he keeps following you which puts even more pressure on you. “I came only to see your performance.”

You have to say goodbye, and as hard as it is, you shift your gaze to face him once you’re out at the parking lot.

“I want to go home.” You peer into his eyes and catch them softening. “Bye, Hyeongjun. Have fun, you put on a great show.”

“Just give me five minutes.” He speaks out and his breath almost stops when he sees your silhouette freeze in one place. He wonders if you’re going to walk back to him or leave because it’s over between you. Honestly, he doesn’t want to know. “Five minutes and I will let you go if that’s what you want.”

Hyeongjun opens the door to the backseats of his car and steps aside so you can get in. He sits down next to you and for a few seconds both of you just stay there in silence that makes the air thicker, suffocating you.

“I already told you, but I’m really sorry that I was not able to come.”

“You made me look like a fool, and you wasted her time.”

“Tell her I apologise.”

“You could’ve messaged me that you’re not coming.” You feel your voice rising higher and you take a deep breath. You don’t want to show how much all of this actually hurts you. You don’t want to cry.

“I was busy and it just slipped my mind. I forgot, Y/N.” Hyeongjun turns to look at you, but you instantly move your gaze to the other window to avoid his. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“No, that’s enough.” You say quietly, almost exhausted. “It was not important enough for you to remember.”

“You know that’s not true.” Hyeongjun’s tone goes back to being firm and tense. To see you so convinced that he doesn’t find you important angers him.

He rolls down the window a bit and welcomes the chilly air. It feels nice before you speak up again, and it’s just another stab in his wound.

But he deserves it.

“It’s the only thing I’m sure of right now.”

He sighs, resting his head back. He got introduced to so many new emotions since he met you which he still doesn’t know how to process.

He wants to say so many things to you, yet he cannot find the strength to utter a single word.

“I’m sorry for being so bad at this.” Guilt starts to cause his voice to weaken. “I’ve never had someone to care about so much… It scares me.”

“Is this why you told me to leave?” You ask after a moment of processing his words. You would’ve never thought that fear is what he feels when he’s with you.

“I didn’t want you to see me like that.” Hyeongjun meets your eyes for the first time since you got inside the car. He quickly looks away, worried the direct contact will steal his boldness to speak. “I didn’t… I didn’t want you to see how I doubt myself and how every single thing I do just backfires.”

“I wanted to be there for you!”

“I was being pathetic!” He shouts.

You shake your head in disbelief and press your lips together to try and not let your emotions get the better of you.

“You were being a normal human being with feelings, and you need to let them be.” You face him and he finally turns to you again. “Doesn’t matter if I’m there or not.”

“I wanted you to stay.”

“Then you should’ve not pushed me away.” Your bottom lip begins to tremble. “As you keep doing only to come back and do it all over again.

The repressed noise of the club invades the silence in the car as you both wait for the other to say something.

Hyeongjun’s face looks almost defeated.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” you whisper with the realisation that it won’t make his fear disappear on the instant. But hopefully it makes room for other, more positive emotions.

Hyeongjun lays a hand on the side of your face. Light sparkles appear in his eyes solely from feeling your skin against his again.

You move one hand over his wanting to keep it there for a few more seconds. The comfort of his palm always feels like your heart gets wrapped into a soft blanket and your eyelids turn heavy.

During this moment, something in Hyeongjun hurts and races with passion at the same time.

He leans in, resting his forehead against yours while another I'm sorry falls from his lips.

His scent is a bittersweet mixture of cigarette smoke, beer and the cologne he often likes to use. You missed it so much.

“I’m falling in love with you.”

His confession causes your heart to jump out of your chest.

You tilt your chin up to meet his eyes. You’ve never needed to see them more than you do right now.

Hyeongjun’s thumbs rub your cheeks gently like he’s afraid not to break you - with his touch or any of his words. His gaze, vulnerable and warm, travels slowly from your eyes to your lips and back.

He’s known this for so long now; all that’s left is to finally say it out loud.

“I’m so in love with you. I want to be with you, Y/N.”

You pull him closer by the shirt and he gasps quietly before your lips clash together for one deep kiss. It takes you so long to separate your mouths that you both need to take a deep breath afterwards.

“Say something,” he whispers with eyes shut; brows knitted as you search for his soft lips. The feeling of your nails scratching him while you pull him by the back of his neck makes his insides twirl. “Anything.”

“Make me yours.”

You kiss him again. Your desperation tastes almost demanding. Hyeongjun’s hand slides up your thigh as your dress hikes up your hips more and more.

The moment he helps you out to sit on his lap you break the kiss and observe each other’s faces under the street lights.

Hyeongjun smiles lazily meanwhile his fingers pull down the straps of your dress. Just now he realises how pretty it is.

“From now on you’re mine.” He states, exposing your bare chest, but still keeping his gaze focused on how you blink euphorically at him. “Only mine.”

You’ve been his from the start. You both know it.

“And I’m yours,” he then adds, and you feel the urge to almost scream with excitement but you manage to keep it all in.

You cup his face with two hands and run your thumbs over his mouth.

“Sounds good to me.”

He lets your thumb slip into his mouth and bites it as he devours your beauty painted sensually from the dim lighting.

“You know what I want right now, right?” He asks, moving your hands down.

You do.

You want it too, but your eyes inspect your surroundings as you debate if it’s a good idea.

Anyone could leave the bar at any moment and see you.

Hyeongjun’s lips curl mischievously at the hard time you’re having with making the decision.

“What’s there to think about?” He chuckles and leans in to kiss the spot between your breasts. “We’ve done worse things in public together before.”

His hands squeeze both of them as he covers your skin in kisses, and after he’s done, his mouth opens and devours the left one. He hums at the feeling of your soft plush flesh only to bite your nipple roughly and laugh at your startled reaction.

His tongue begins to twirl and twist around it; the muscle toys with your sensitivity, stimulates your body, slowly but surely, and you sit there, letting the wave grow bigger with each suck he makes.

You know he can take a long time with this, and you’re going to let him while you run your fingers through his hair. He’s right, you could care less about the parking lot.

Hyeongjun frees his mouth from your boob and runs his tongue in the direction of your neck. His teeth sink in once again. This time the moan crawls out of your throat quickly and this eagers him even more.

With the intense lust he feels in this moment, and the way it results into his mouth treating you, it’s not possible for you to leave this place without fresh bruises all over your neck and cleavage.

“Fuck, I can’t stop.” He mutters against your skin before forcing himself to lean back with puffy red lips. “Isn’t there something my slut wants to do?”

The answer has already been sitting on your tongue, but his provocative stare helps you get bolder and say it.

“I want to ride you.”

Hyeongjun grins and rests his arms on the backseat behind him.

Your hands start undoing his belt - impatiently, because you need to feel him inside you now, and quickly while the parking lot is still empty. However, a disapproving sound from his mouth steals your attention.

You look up and he tilts his head to the side, staring at you with anticipation. You’re forgetting something.

“Please,” you mewl with apologetic eyes, “let me ride your cock.”

He knew it won’t take you long to realise what you’re missing, but he didn’t expect the ending of your sentence at all.

So far you’ve spoken boldly only on the phone.

“My cock?” Hyeongjun raises a brow with a pleasant surprise. “Sounds so filthy when you say it, baby. The condoms are right there.”

“We don’t need one.” You say while pushing your panties to the side. A shy smile appears on your face when you see the boy’s astonished expression. “I’m on the pill now, don’t worry.”

Hyeongjun’s about to say something, but the way you cautiously glide on top of his erected cock causes him to remain silent.

His head drops down to see your hips swaying back and forth; same movements that helped you get off on that pillow you humped for his enjoyment in the band’s basement.

His tip starts oozing with arousal as you caress his stiff length with your cunt, spreading the moisture that also got your underwear sticky. Hyeongjun sighs at the nice feeling of your intimate lips, of your clit brushing his dick that makes you even wetter.

“Want to tease me?” He glances up at you with suspicion.

“Is it working?” You ask innocently as you keep holding onto his shoulders. Your pussy is still travelling up and down his member and you decide to make everything better by spitting in your hand and smearing it along.

Hyeongjun takes a second to answer, because the way you unexpectedly grip his cock takes him aback. You touch him as you always do no matter which part of his body you’re touching, softly, as if you could ever hurt him, but your newly born confidence is what leaves him at loss for words.

An unexpected wave of strong pleasure hits him out of nowhere as you coat him with your saliva, which is another thing that baffles him, but he quickly regains composure and replies:

“More than you think.”

Your fingers keep his cock pressed between your lips and his leaky tip massages your clit effectively every time you roll your hips.

“Keep doing that and I will bend you over.” Hyeongjun grips your jaw as a warning. “I don’t care who sees.”

Your sparkling eyes smile at him before you sink down. You effortlessly welcome his entire cock inside and the feeling you earned is staggering. Without the protection the warmth is even stronger, the moisture and the pleasant rush feels already double. How will you handle what’s about to happen next?

You stay sat for a moment to really get used to the new sensation that feels like it’s been made to be shared by the two of you.

Hyeongjun’s black nails sink into the skin of your thighs; his teeth grab onto his bottom lip as your gummy walls keep him in. He’s just as astonished as you. He’s done it without condoms before, but with you it feels different - so natural, so good; as if he hasn’t known real pleasure before.

“Fuck, this is…” You want to express your delight, to let him know how much you love having him like this, but the right words come so slowly right now.

“So much better?”

You nod eagerly then start moving up and down, feeling all of him so well. Your soft moans fill up the small space of the car before they eventually sneak out through the half-open window.

You hear a couple walking out of the building, but they go in a different direction so you’re not going to be seen.

“C’mon, kitten,” Hyeongjun’s low voice caresses your heated body as he leans into your chest again. “Do you know how bad I want to cum inside? Now that you’re mine.”

His teeth graze your skin before his lips form a satisfied smirk once he catches you speeding up your movements; eagerly trying to grow the pace to fit your burning needs. In his clouded mind the single word mine keeps repeating itself over and over again.

A stronger moan slips from your tongue when Hyeongjun fills up his mouth with your boob once again while one of his hands is busy adjusting your arms to stay behind your back.

You slow down, panting, feeling your whole body sticking from sweat despite the night breeze that’s brushing your bodies. The adrenaline rush flooding your veins keeps your tummy swirling.

Your figure squirms vividly from another thrill - his thumb circling your clit as you stay still to take a break.

“Oh my God—“ You pant as your thighs begin to tremble from pleasure.

Hyeongjun sucks loudly on your nipple before pulling back, eyeing the fresh blemishes that are forming on different parts of your body.

If you look closely enough you’ll notice that the corner of his mouth is drooling.

“Get back to work, pretty girl.” A firm slap on your ass signals you to open your eyes. “Are you waiting for an audience?”

You feel his hands go on your hips to guide your next few moves. His grip tightens and you follow his lead - with a bit of pain in the knees you start rocking back and forth.

“Yeah, that’s it.” Hyeongjun’s groans start to multiple as you keep your hips moving the way he showed you, and the sounds are so captivating. “You’re so freakin’ good at being a whore for me, baby. Shit—“

Hyeongjun shifts a bit in his place without even really realising it; his body starts squirming from the pleasant waves washing over him again and again.

He’s so used to having the full control over fucking you rough that now when he doesn’t pull the strings completely, he starts to slowly lose his cool.

Even more sweat gathers on his forehead and neck where his adam’s apple won’t stop moving from how often he needs to swallow because of you.

“Holy shit…” he gulps again, then moans loudly like never before. "Fuck-k, don't stop."

His one hand gets lost inside your hair and pulls; the other one supports your lower half.

You wouldn’t dare to stop even for a second now. Your core burns with so much desire that your vision starts to blur as if you’ve been drinking all night; your muscles feel like they’re melting from doing their best to keep up the good rhythm that matches the one of your heartbeats.

“Baby—“ your whines shake as Hyeongjun keeps your head thrown back and your painted glistening throat exposed to his lips.

He doesn’t have enough energy nor concentration to continue marking you though. The clenching of your cunt distracts him from anything else.

“Baby, I—“ you mumble just as he reaches for your throat and leaves your hair a mess. His fingers squeeze your neck on the sides and this only pulls you closer to your climax. The knot of pleasure throbs dangerously inside you the longer he holds you like this.

“I got you.” He manages to coo at your ear as he feels you crumbling in his embrace. “I got you, sweetheart.”

The moment you need it the most, his hands drop to push you down hard in order to keep your hips moving while the intense rush lasts. His jaw tenses the more you clench, the more your thighs shake on both sides of his body as you feel electrified by the powerful delight.

He, on the other hand, lets a long, quiet moan that brings butterflies in your stomach once it lands warm on your skin, but he hasn't finished yet.

"Sorry, baby," he sighs, staring at your lips that were producing the most erotic whimpers he's ever heard. Your moans always have even bigger effects on him when you're making them somewhere you don't want to be heard. "If I'm gonna cum inside you I want to be able to watch it spill out of your pretty cunt afterwards." he smiles at the immediate shift of your flustered gaze. Wanting to bring back the eye contact you had, he picks your chin with his fingers before continuing his thought. "Then I want to fuck it all back into you."

Your eyes lower to his lips as he speaks to you. Word by word, he only grows the fire that's already burning inside you even stronger, meanwhile the simple, but attractive way his mouth moves causes yours to drool.

Hyeongjun notices your tongue wetting your lips, your fingers tugging his shirt as a sign of neediness, your aroused walls squeezing gently from time to time.

Your mouth is now leaning closer to him.

"That's how I want it to be when I fill you up for the first time, would you like that?"

He sees you swallowing as you both stare at each other's lips as if they're the only sight there is to see.

"I need that," you utter like hypnotised from the image he's painting in your mind.

"Unfortunately we can't do that here or we'll make a big mess." Hyeongjun brushes his knuckles on your cheek. "Besides, I want to have a nice view of your leaking cunt." His hand sneaks in the dark to pinch your clit.

"I want your cum in me so bad, Hyeongjun." You hear yourself saying.

"Next time, pretty girl."

With the picture of Hyeongjun slowly pulling out, and closely watching his cum drip out of you still vivid in your head, you move to kneel beside him.

You enjoy the way his spare hand instantly buries its fingers into your hair the moment you lean down to level your mouth with his cock. Your puffy lips wrap around the warm swollen tip so you can suck it softly, making him grip your hair tighter. A small shaky moan escapes his throat from the way you use your tongue on him, licking all of your essence that's been sticking to his length.

It doesn't take him long to tense and force his hips up. The rush in his core extends uncontrollably to the point his brain stops functioning, but his body starts moving on his own. He reaches into your warm throat while you focus on your breathing and hollowed cheeks. The pace is not too fast or intense which is new. Instead, his cock glides deeply in a steady sensual pace as if he wants to have the time to feel every little part of your throat, meanwhile his fist continues to grasp at the roots of your hair extra tightly in order to keep your head still.

Once things escalate, Hyeongjun freezes, pressing you down into his body and you wait to collect all he has to give on your tongue. His fist eventually releases your hair as he pants heavily, trying to calm down from his high.

You clean him up with small kitten licks, but also longer ones, that press a bit harder at the sides of his base. His hand strokes your back up and down as you do it. You give his tip one last kiss, and soon enough you look at each other.

His eyes seem so dazed; so high and stimulated.

“If someone’s been watching you all this time...” He speaks up first. “They got lucky.”

The comment makes you laugh, but you quickly pull your dress back up... just in case.

“They’ll remember this forever.” He grins affectionately with a hint of pride.

Again... this undeniable influence his smile has that he's so unaware of... It makes you want to stop everything you're doing and stare.

"What?" His brows furrow a bit.

"Nothing," you reply. "You should smile more often."

Hyeongjun's nose scrunches as he chuckles silently when looking away.

He quickly turns to look back at you again though.

"I will."

Of course, he will. You’re his.

His. His. His.

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

! please keep in mind that english is not my first language. i apologise in advance for any mistakes i’ve might missed

♡ taglist: @delusional-bae @xhfics @jeongin-lvr @zynz0 @kgyam4

[gyummigon]

☆ my home | gaon, (kwak jiseok)

gaon x fem!reader

୨୧ word count: 2.0k ୨୧ genre: fluff, angst, established relationship ୨୧ summary: you come home after a week of hard work; "now i'm here and you're home. you don't have to carry everything by yourself, you know?” ୨୧ a/n: my native language isn’t english. i will not lie, i literally used the translator and I’ve published it without proofreading, so you might read horrible things. don't judge me. original version here

Exhaustion envelops your body as you ring the doorbell. You haven't lost your key, but you're too exhausted to bother looking for it. So you put the weight of your body on one of your legs and wait impatiently for the figure on the other side to peek through the door, feeling a slight uneasiness inside of you.

It had been almost a week since you and Jiseok had last spoken. Your work had kept you so busy that you hadn't even had time to miss him or think about contacting him. But even when your mind was busy, you couldn't shake the bitter feeling of looking at your phone screen and seeing that there was no trace of his name on it.

On the other hand, Jiseok was more than anything... confused by your absence, but he hadn't dared to ask you about it so as not to invade your own space. His intentions of not pressuring you were good and innocent, he wanted you to come to him when you wanted and felt the time was right. But even though this eased his discomfort at times, it was obvious that he missed you more and more as the days went by, sometimes getting lost in looking at the door, hoping that you would come in through it.

So when he heard the doorbell ring that night and went to open it, your image illuminating the restlessness of his heart, he was genuinely happy to see that it was you.

"Hey... you're home." He felt silly, not having much else to say except a warm smile as he opened the door all the way for you.

"Hi," you greeted as you walked past him, planting a quick kiss on his cheek that made him smile even more.

"Hi," he said, laughing a little. "Took you long enough, where have you been?"

He followed you with his gaze, it was obvious in his expression that he was happy and curious to see you there after all this time without you making an appearance in his life. You sighed before walking away to sit on the couch, aware of his gaze that wouldn't leave you at any moment. Feeling unable to say anything good, you leaned your head back on the couch mattress and closed your eyes.

You could hear him moving around the room. After a few seconds of silence, you opened your eyes slightly and were surprised to find your eyes locked with his.

"You look pretty tired," he said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall in front of you. There was a gentle expression on his face, but far beneath it, almost imperceptibly, you could see a trace of distress. "Did something happen at your internship?"

"Just... the usual." You shrugged.

"Is everything okay?" Jiseok broke the distance and leaned back against the couch. He stared at you, confusion and worry written all over his face.

"How long has it been since we've seen each other?" you asked, and he seemed to pause for a second, his guard down.

"About... six days. Did something happen or...?" He raised his eyebrows and seemed to grow more and more uncomfortable. He wanted to know if there was something you could not talk about, you were much more serious than usual and he feared that something bad was going on. However, he didn't want to pry too much into whatever it was you were worried about without first being sure you wanted to talk about it.

"I'm tired," you said, running a hand over your face. "I've had three trips out of town, a couple of photo shoots, and practice didn't end until late last night. did you call me? I didn't even have time to check my phone."

"Oh no, I didn't call you."

"Are you busy too?

"No more than usual," she replied with a soft smile and stood behind you, making you sigh as she started to massage your shoulders. "Very tense, you're exhausted aren't you, do you want to rest?" he tilted his head, seeming to think before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "If you feel your schedule is getting a little too hectic, you can let me know and the two of us will talk to the company together, we could see what can be done to make things easier for my girl."

"Sure, like they'd listen to you," you spat sarcastically and felt his hands tighten on your back, but he didn't say anything. "So you didn't call me?"

"What, no I didn't," he replied, giving you a quick hug from behind and resuming his massage. "Did you miss me too?"

You felt a little angry, even though you knew how unfair it was when you didn't bother to contact him either. You were hoping for a reason or at least an excuse to show that he had been distracted by your absence, but all you got from Jiseok was a loud sigh and another quick hug.

You nodded and played with your hands in your lap. In the few months of your relationship, Jiseok had proven to be the one who best supported your relationship, the one who most often fixed each other's mistakes and dispelled worries as if it was some kind of superpower he possessed. You compressed and gentle Jiseok... You felt so far away from him at that depressing and suffocating moment, as if the boredom caused by your routine created a kind of rejection of him in you.

After a few minutes, the seriousness on your face made Jiseok sit down next to you and look at you with concern.

"Hey, if you're upset about your schedule or anything else, you can always tell me, okay? I'll understand and I'll do what I can to help you; even if it's not much... I just don't want you to get overwhelmed."

You took a breath, feeling suffocated and shaky. "I think I'll go outside for a moment to get some air," you warned without looking at him and stood up, "do you need me to buy anything?"

You felt his eyes on you, dazed and frightened. You didn't expect him to try to stop you, he didn't seem to know what to say or do, but when you asked again he just shook his head and took you firmly by the shoulders.

"Wait a minute." He moved quickly and stepped in front of you. His expression was a mixture of confusion and pleading. "You know, I don't feel good about this, seeing you like this. Please talk to me."

You closed your eyes and struggled to come up with something coherent. You wanted to blame him, but no reason seemed valid enough to give you that power. You just... wished that he could feel your disappointment without having to start an argument that you weren't in the mood for.

"I'm tired, I have been all along," you mused, rubbing your hands over your face in frustration. "You... you didn't care about me or were even curious about what I was doing these days?"

Jiseok's eyes widened in surprise, then he better understood the reason for your behavior.

"Yes, God, of course I was," he said quickly with an alarmed voice. "But I decided to give you some space. You've been having a hard time lately, and I know what kind of work you're doing and how hard it is to even take a call, so I... I didn't want to be a burden as well. Besides, I figured if something was wrong, you would tell me later, so I decided to wait for you to come to me when you were ready. I didn't want to seem absent-minded, you already have a lot on your plate and I don't want to do anything more complicated."

"I've had a hell of a week..." you sigh and look away, "and all I expected from you was at least a message."

Jiseok cocks his head and looks down with regret.

"You should have told me. I thought you wanted space, so I didn't send a message." He twists his fingers without taking his eyes off his shoes. After a moment, he shakes his head and looks worriedly into your eyes. "I'm sorry, I really should have been more considerate. But I'm here now, does it matter?"

You take a deep breath and lose yourself in the brown of his eyes for a moment. "Yes, it helps," you answer, sighing and relaxing your arms at the sides of your body. "I'm just... I'm so tired of everything. I needed to know that you care about me."

Jiseok's shoulders relaxed and he closed the distance between you to wrap his arms around you in a hug and then take your hands in his. "Of course I care about you, more than you can imagine," he said tenderly. "But I never meant to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable. It was very careless of me."

You relaxed a little after hearing his words and squeezed his hand in response as you looked down at the ground. "Sometimes I feel like I can't do it anymore, I feel so incapable... even to send you a message," you confessed weakly.

Jiseok nodded understandingly and stroked your hand with his thumb. "It's okay, don't worry," he replied with a warm smile. "I'm here now and you're at home. You don't have to carry everything by yourself, you know? If you need to talk or just vent, I'm more than willing to listen."

You let your head fall to your shoulder, breathing a sigh of relief as he ran his hand through your hair, releasing it from the pressure of the ponytail. "Have you felt this way before?" you asked, immersing yourself a little in the caresses he made on the back of your neck, "often?"

Jiseok sighed before answering, as if he had carefully considered your words. "Yes, sometimes I feel that way too," he finally said. "But I always try to remember that I'm not alone and that I have people in my life who care about me. And you are one of those people, y/n. I'm always here for you, so don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it."

"I was kind of stupid tonight, wasn't I?"

"No, you weren't," Jiseok said and hugged you again. "We all have our hard times and we need someone to be there for us. So don't worry, okay?"

"I want to... go to bed."

He nods slowly, offering you a gentle smile. "Sure, let's go to bed," he agrees, giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead before offering his hand to lead you into the bedroom. "Do you want me to fix you a shower or do you want to go straight to bed?"

"A shower, please," you replied, smiling gratefully as you took his hand and followed him to the bathroom.

After your shower, Jiseok took you to bed and tucked you in with the sheets. He sat next to you and stroked your hair while he tried to carry on a conversation; he knew it wasn't the right time to push you to talk, but he didn't want to leave you alone with your thoughts either. He decided to stay and watch over your sleep, promising himself to always be there for you.

"Jiseok, I missed you too," you murmured before you could fall asleep. You felt more relaxed and connected to him after you said it, and you hoped that you could rest that night, feeling that you were not alone.

© gyummigon | all rights reserved. copying or adaptation prohibited

[gingerjunhan]

try hard - kwak jiseok

☆彡 I’ve had this idea since I started this account. I’m glad it finally got to see the light. Thank you all for your patience; I hope you enjoy <3

synopsis: you’ve been head-over-heels for Gunil for a while now, but what happens when Jiseok finds an extravagant way to try and tell you how he feels?

based on 5 Seconds of Summer’s song Try Hard

word count: 2,365 | pronouns used: they/them | genre: angst | cws: one sided pining, no happy ending, member-on-member jealousy, swearing, lmk if I missed something!

Jiseok flopped down on his bed and let out a sigh. Practice today felt so much longer than usual. Maybe it was the pressure of their upcoming stage performance, or maybe it was his poor sleep schedule. Either way, Jiseok felt like he was fighting hard to keep his eyes open. All he wanted was to fall asleep right here, right now- half strewn across his bed in the clothes that he wore to the studio. The only thing that kept him awake, however, was his stomach. Hyeongjun was supposed to start making dinner once everybody got home. If Jiseok wasn’t so tired, he would’ve offered to help.

Eventually, the sound of laughter and the scent of whatever Hyeongjun was cooking danced their way into Jiseok’s room, pulling him out of his sleepy haze. There was a voice he didn’t quite recognize- it definitely wasn’t one of his bandmates. Listening through his walls wasn’t solving his mystery, so Jiseok reluctantly rose to his feet and made his way to the kitchen.

“Hey, there he is,” Seungmin announced to the group as Jiseok shuffled through the doorway. “We were just going to come get you for dinner. We thought you fell asleep.”

“Not yet,” Jiseok huffed. “Too hungry.”

“Well the food’s ready. Grab a plate.”

After serving himself, Jiseok made his way to the dinner table and found an extra seat across from his.

“Hey, Jiseok,” you greeted.

“(Y/N), hey. I didn’t know you were joining us for dinner tonight.”

You nodded happily. “Gunil told me he was feeling a little stressed about your upcoming performance, so I thought I’d stop by and try to help him relax.”

Jiseok nodded understandingly. You and Gunil had just recently started dating, and Jiseok wasn’t sure how to take it. He never told Gunil, but he had developed feelings for you a while ago. You and Jiseok had known each other for a long time; he was even the one who introduced you to Gunil. So when you and Gunil started going out, there was nothing Jiseok could do other than be happy for you. He had lost his chance fair and square, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous. “What’s got you so stressed, Gunil?” He decided to ask.

“Well,” Gunil sighed. “Shortly after leaving practice, our manager called to tell us that our stage time was upped by five minutes- which is great! However, our manager thinks it would be smart to have us perform a new cover for publicity. The performance is now less than a week away and we don’t have any ideas, so start throwing some out.”

“5 Seconds of Summer!” Jooyeon suggested instantly. Jungsu rolled his eyes.

“We can’t always cover 5 Seconds of Summer just because you have a man-crush on Luke Hemmings.”

“C’mon!” He insisted. “It’s a song I’ve really been wanting to cover, and I think we would do great!”

“What’s it called?” Gunil asked.

“Try Hard. It’s an older song, but it’s so good. They never perform it, so I think it would be fun to give it a try!”

“Okay,” Gunil shook his head, sounding slightly defeated. “We can keep that one in mind- play it for us after dinner. We can keep thinking of more ideas.”

As dinner progressed, a few more ideas were tossed around for covers. Paramore, DAY6, Muse- but nothing seemed to stick. Once dinner finally ended, Jooyeon got his chance to introduce the group to the song he had in mind. His excitement was evident as everyone listened along.

Jiseok listened intently- trying to ignore the way Jooyeon was serenading the group along with the song. He glanced over at you, and you seemed to be enjoying it almost as much as Jooyeon was. At this point, you had begun to bob your head along with the song, really getting into it. Jiseok didn’t miss the way that Gunil was looking at you; his eyes twinkling a little bit as he watched you jam alongside Jooyeon.

The song has a good guitar track, that was for sure. At the very least, it would be fun to perform. Nothing about the song really struck Jiseok too deeply until the second verse rolled around.

“She’s got a rose tattoo, but she keeps it covered. I play guitar, but she’s into drummers. She’s seen my face around, but she doesn’t even know my name.”

The pain that ran through Jiseok’s chest was almost tangible, striking him like an arrow. His eyes went wide and for a second he swears he started to hold his breath.

“Let’s do it,” he spoke out loud, not thinking about the timing of his comment. Luckily, nobody really seemed to notice. Jooyeon looked over, excited that someone was hearing him out.

“You really want to?” His smile was evident.

“Yeah. It’s a good song and it seems fun to play. Plus, I know you won’t get off our asses if we pick something else.”

Jungsu chuckled, “He has a point.”

Jooyeon’s eyes lit up as he looked at Gunil. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know… haven’t we already played like, three 5 Seconds of Summer songs?”

“Oh, c’mon, Gunil. This song is good!” You coaxed. “What would one more cover hurt? Besides, Villains would love it.”

Gunil let out a sigh, clearly having been won over by your opinion. “Alright, fine. I’ll talk to our manager first thing in the morning. Tomorrow we start working on arrangements.”

Everybody nodded their heads or made some sort of verbal agreement. Jiseok, on the other hand, was lost in thought as he continued to listen. He thought about the way you giggled at everything Gunil said and the way you couldn’t see how Gunil looked at you when you spoke to someone else. It was sickening. Once the song ended, Jiseok calmly slipped away from the others and back into his bedroom, the sound of your laughter fading out as he closed the door behind him.

☆

The next day, the practice room practically buzzed with the amount of work that was going on. Some of the guys were trying to find arrangements for the new cover, Gunil had been breaking into a new set of drumheads, and Jiseok was pretty sure Seungmin was about to break Jooyeon.

“Jooyeon if you don’t stop touching my stuff I’m gonna kick your ass!”

“I’m just grabbing my water!”

“Well then get your shit away from my shit!”

“Gunil!” Jooyeon called out like a child, “Seungmin is threatening me!” The group all looked back to their drummer, who was caught up with something on his phone. After a second, Gunil looked up at him.

“What’s wrong?”

Seungmin laughed. “Looks like somebody is too busy texting to save you,” Seungmin snuck up behind Jooyeon, grabbing his sides, causing Jooyeon to yell. It was now Gunil’s turn to laugh.

“Sorry, (Y/N) asked me a question. But, I’m good. No more distractions.”

Jiseok laughed to himself, knowing that would soon be proven to be a lie.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungsu intervened, “They’re just messing around.”

Gunil sighed lightly. “Guys, come on. We don’t have the time to be goofing off. We’ve gotta be getting everything finalized for this stage or else management is gonna kill us.” The younger boys let out a group of collective sighs, returning to their instruments and getting back to work. Jiseok put the strap of his guitar back over his shoulders, taking a second to peak back at Gunil again, catching him as he picked up his phone again, laughing to himself and sending another text with a slight blush on his cheeks.

Jiseok scoffed quietly to himself, “What happened to no more distractions?” He shook his head with a sigh, turning back to his sheet music. Jungsu looked his way.

“You alright?”

Jiseok’s attention snapped over to Jungsu. “Yeah. I’m fine,” he responded rather unconvincingly.

“Okay,” Jungsu said with a soft smile. “You just… seem a little stressed, so I thought I’d check in.”

“Thanks.” Jiseok gave Jungsu a tight-lipped smile before turning away again.

☆

The day of their performance had finally come around, and the guys were all backstage doing their typical pre-show rituals. Seungmin had a small set of weights in each hand, Hyeongjun was tuning his guitars, and Jiseok watched from a distance as Gunil giggled into his phone over some sort of phone call. Jiseok took a long, shaky breath to try and steady his nerves, but when Gunil got off the phone and came trotting up to him, he had to act fast to find his usual happy facade.

“Jiseok!” Gunil called cheerfully. “(Y/N) called me to say ‘good luck,’ but they wanted me to tell you good luck as well,” he smiled. Jiseok fought his hardest to return the gesture and make it look genuine.

“Thanks,” he said simply.

“They’ll be right in the front,” Gunil continued, “I think they’re on your side of the stage too. Just letting you know so you know to look out for them!” With that, Gunil skipped off to start prepping for the performance.

Jiseok sat and thought about the way this performance was going to go. The cover was right at the end, and Jiseok could feel the seed of jealousy planting itself into his stomach as a plan formed in his head. He smirked to himself at the thought. Would it be petty? Absolutely, but Jiseok couldn’t stand this feeling anymore. He sat and played with his hands, cracking his knuckles and twiddling his thumbs, which finally led to Jungsu chiming in from his seat nearby.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but I advise that you stop,” Jungsu said simply, his voice steady and stern. Jiseok furrowed his eyebrows, giving him a confused look.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Jungsu got up from his seat, making his way over to Jiseok, his voice low. “Ever since the two of them got together, you obviously haven’t been happy about it. Gunil may be blind to your jealousy, but I’m not.” Jiseok looked up at Jungsu with wide eyes. “I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time,” Jungsu continued, “so I advise that you get over yourself before you cause any problems.” Jungsu gave Jiseok one final side eye before a stage manager came to collect the group of men to start setting up for their performance. Jiseok watched Jungsu walk away, knowing deep down that he was right. However, the seed had been planted, the jealousy had already taken root, and Jiseok couldn’t help but seethe as he picked up his guitar, pulled a pick from his pocket, and walked onto stage.

The performance had been going as expected: bright lights, loud fans, and that same energy that Jiseok always feels while performing that he still can’t find the right words to describe. He had located you in the crowd about halfway through their opening number, your bright smile and cute outfit making you stand out against everyone else in his eyes. Upon seeing you, he smiled as well, feeling his jealousy wither away into a feeling of fondness. You waved at him from the crowd, and it took everything in him not to let go of his guitar and wave back.

Finally, their set was about to close, and Jiseok felt the dark vines of his master plan creep back into his chest again. It was simple, but he hoped it would portray the message he needed it to. From his drumkit, Gunil counts the song in, and the band takes off with their cover. Jiseok watches as you dance along in the pit, and he can feel himself fighting an internal battle with his usual stage presence to keep it together. Jooyeon carried the song with a smile, clearly in his element while singing along. As the song progressed, Jiseok’s turn at the mic was coming up, and he knew it was all or nothing. He dropped his guitar completely, putting both hands on the mic and looking at you as the verse he quickly claimed dibs on a practice a few days ago made its way to the speakers.

“She’s got a rose tattoo, but she keeps it covered. I play guitar, but she’s into drummers.” At this, Jiseok watches as you smile wide, aiming your gaze towards the back of the stage, ignoring him almost completely. “She’s seen my face around, but she doesn’t even know my name.” At that, Jiseok picks up his guitar again, performing the rest of the song on autopilot as he realizes that his attempt to grab your attention and tell you how he feels was nothing short of futile. Soon enough, the performance ends, the show is over, and Jiseok floats home- his autopilot keeping him moving.

☆

“That performance was great!!” You squeal as you pull Gunil into a tight embrace, holding him close and kissing his cheek once the seven of you made your way back to the dorm. Of course Gunil had to invite you over, and of course Jiseok had to sit and watch as you hung all over him. This was just what he needed. Jiseok fought to keep his breathing steady when someone yelling his name caught his attention.

“Jiseok!” Seungmin yelled.

“What?!” Jiseok yelled in response, sounding a little more angry than he should have.

“I asked if you wanted a drink. Jesus, I’ve only called your name, like, three times.” Seungmin rolled his eyes. Jiseok waved him off.

“No, I’m fine,” he answered shortly. Seungmin looked over him.

“What’s got you all worked up?”

Jiseok opened his mouth to answer and then quickly snapped his mouth closed again. He could hear you and Gunil laughing together from the other side of the room. He quickly glanced over at Jungsu, who was already giving him a stern look. “Nothing,” he finally answers. “Nothing is wrong.” Jiseok stood from his chair, looking to Jungsu again. “I’m going to bed.”

For a split second, Jungsu’s eyes turned sympathetic. “Good night, Jiseok.”

He nodded slightly, his voice soft. “Good night, Jungsu.”

taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , @odesonnets , @weluvjeong , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

[gunilslaugh]

Cute Cafe Guy

Oh Seungmin

Summary: In which you keep visiting a cafe after finding one of their regulars to be quite cute.

WC:850

Warning:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner.

The first time you went to the cafe was just to quickly pick up some drinks for you and your roommate on your way back from work. The interior of the cafe felt homey and the soft music that played only added to the comfortable atmosphere. 

You were waiting for your drinks when you accidentally locked eyes with a stranger. He offered you a kind smile, his eyes twinkling as well. Thump thump your heart flutters in your chest. You shyly smile back before turning away. He’s so cute you think to yourself. Shortly after your name was called, signaling that your drinks were ready. You walked over to the counter picking them up and beginning to exit the cafe, not without taking one last look at the cute stranger though.

Over the next several days you found yourself unable to stop thinking about the cute cafe guy. His smile was so pretty even the thought of it never failed to mess with your heart. That’s how you found yourself visiting the cafe again in hopes of seeing him. Your wish was granted because there he was, sitting at the same table. He was wearing a brown sweater that almost matched his hair. You realized that you were staring and broke your gaze from him. Approaching the counter you ordered a drink and a pastry. 

“His name is Seungmin,” a worker informed with a playful wink as they handed you your order. Your cheeks flushed, feeling embarrassed at being caught.

“Thanks,” you timidly responded, taking your order. You walked over to a table and sat down. While taking a bite of your pastry you felt the weight of eyes on you. You looked around trying to find the source. Once again you locked eyes with cute cafe guy, who you now know is named Seungmin. He gave you that same beautiful smile, but this time he seemed flustered, quickly turning his head right after. There’s no way he was staring at me right? You thought.

A pathetic feeling began to set in. It was your fifth time going to that cafe just to see Seungmin. You haven’t even attempted to talk to him. You’ve done nothing but exchange smiles with him. What were supposed to say to him though? Hey I keep coming back to this cafe because I think you’re cute?

“That might work better than you think,” a voice stated. You were mortified, looking to see a worker, the same worker that told you Seungmin’s name standing there.

“I said that out loud?” you asked awkwardly. Feeling like you could die from embarrassment.

“Yes you did. Now, I didn’t tell you this, but he thinks you’re cute too,” they told you in a hushed whisper.

“Really?” you questioned astonished.

“Yeah. Seungmin’s one of our regulars here, so we’re all pretty friendly with him. He always gets excited whenever the cute pretty girl,” they say pointing at you. “comes in here, so just talk to him. He’s too shy to approach you first,” the worker finished. They walked away leaving you sitting there. You looked over to where Seungmin was sitting. You can do it! Just go talk to him. You tried to work up your courage. After taking a deep breath you went for it. You stood up grabbing your drink and walked over to Seungmin’s table.

“Can I sit here?” you asked gently, catching Seungmin’s attention. 

“Oh y-yeah please…go ahead,” he gestures to the chair in front of him. You laugh lightly, finding him even more endearing. 

“I’m y/n,” you introduced yourself, stickling out your hand for him to shake.

“I’m Seungmin,” he says, reaching out his hand to shake yours. You both shake hands and linger a second too long before letting go.

“I actually keep coming back to this cafe because I think you're cute,” you revealed, looking down at your drink on the table to hide your blush.

“Are you serious?” Seungmin quizzes. 

“Yes,” you shyly said looking up. “The first time I came in here you smiled at me and I thought you were really cute. I kept thinking about you, gosh that sounds so embarrassing,” you told him.

“No, it’s not embarrassing. I kept thinking about you too. I always looked forward to whenever you would come into the cafe cause I thought you were really pretty,” he admits. 

“How about we go on a date then?” you suggested with hopeful eyes. 

“I’d really like that,” Seungmin responds. 

“Great!” You happily said. You and Seungmin exchanged contacts and chatted a little while longer before you had to leave. 

You couldn’t contain your excitement as you rambled to your roommate about your upcoming date with Seungmin aka cute cafe guy. Your roommate was more than glad to be free from your hopeless pining over him. The workers at the cafe were also glad that they no longer had to witness the pining and love struck stares going on between you two. 

The next time you entered the cafe it was hand in hand with Seungmin, your boyfriend, and all the workers cheered.

[icewons]

LIVE NOW ! ✔️ ╱ a yang jungwon smau.

PAIRING. idol! jungwon x gamer! fem reader.

SUMMARY. hybe debuts a gaming coed group. jake and ni-ki end up streaming along with them on enhypen’s days off & the rest of enhypen following soon after. but you end up catching jungwon’s interest.

GENRE. smau, crack, fluff, idol x gamer, comedy?, some angst.

WARNINGS. swearing, kys/kms jokes, suggestive jokes, jealousy, im not a big gamer, so if things are wrong, pls bare w me. 🙏🏻

FEATURING. y/n as cqq0906 on xhs, enhypen members, taesan of bnd, beomgyu of txt, intak & soul of p1h, wonbin, anton & sohee of riize, ningning of aespa, chaewon of lsrfm.

STATUS. started 06/24/24. updates : whenever tbh …. 🤕☝️

TAGLIST IS OPEN. dont spam like pls.

PROFILES › gamers | enha house | others

&

CHAPTERS

000. prologue.

001. says the minecraft geek.

002. me and ur dad.

003. little hwang hwang.

004. oh what the flip.

005. ur so delusional.

006. copy that mr leader.

007. someone save jungwon.

008. there’s a what?

009. did i lie.

010. live stream. ( written )

011. live stream pt 2. ( written )

012. heh…. whoops.

013. i smell smth fishy.

014. i wanna eat him.

015. mr fear fish.

016.

017.

more to come !!

i hit 100 followers the other day, and wanted to make this request a gift for everyone! i’m not sure about the updating schedule, so we’ll see! pls reblog if you see this. 🙏🏻

sending to … @enhaas @starchasing-cryptid @lavendersloane @addorations @winuvs @firstclassjaylee @onlyhyunjin @jwsflower @heeheesang @dimplewonie @academiq @jiamini @skzhoes @enahaku @ilovejungwonandhaechan @fae-renjun @wtfhyuck @sol3chu @iheartjayke @vveebee @naviiy @catzisb1og @i03jae @onlyhoonie @horijiro @rairaiblog @heelariously @gyuvision @charlizefaye @jwonistic @en-dream @tocupid @xeee334 @otblous @imuziawi @nnaeul @shvcaaa ( send an ask, dm or reply to be added ! )

[boy-comics]

STAND OUT!

── .✦ pairing; ♭form!junhan x gn!reader

── .✦ summary; your dear friend hyeongjun regrets his recent styling choice.

── .✦ word count; ~0.8k

── .✦ tags; fluff, comfort, childhood friends, mutual pining, mild background angst

── .✦ a/n; takes place within the xh lore universe (i haven’t got a total grasp on it tho so i am adding my own stuff lol) and set in the “real” world. so ig it's not actually ♭form!junhan since he's not in ♭form here but it looks better than xh lore!junhan and that's why i'm leaving it like that :)

"It's bad."

"I'm sure it's not that bad. Lemme see."

Hyeongjun, his face half-buried in your favorite pillow, simply shakes his head. His beanie is pulled comically low over his eyes and past his ears and it's really an unbearably endearing sight, this beanpole of a boy swimming in a moss-green sweater and curled around a worn notebook thrown haphazardly onto your childhood bed, but you know it is not the time to tease. (Even if you want to do so very, very badly.)

"I'm going to dye it back."

"Noooo," you protest, hands draping over his beanie to tug at it gently. Hyeongjun doubles down on his own grip in response, and you complain, "We spent so long deciding on a color! Why do you want to change it again?"

There's a pause. You let go, and Hyeongjun sighs, muffled by soft cotton fabric. "... It stands out too much."

"That's why you wanted to dye it in the first place."

Hyeongjun just lets out something between a grumble and a whine, and you fall backwards to lie down next to him, crossing your arms.

Your dear friend confuses you sometimes.

You like to think that, in general, you understand Han Hyeongjun quite well. He is not one to be changed much by time, sort of like a pine tree—a little taller and stronger with each year, maybe, but with the same soft needles, the same quiet steadfastness, the same comforting smell. Understanding him is not due to his simplicity because people aren't simple, let alone Hyeongjun, but rather due to walking the intricate lines of his personality time and time again.

But in moments like these, you are reminded that the closest of friends still hold their mysteries.

Your gaze drifts over to the quiet lump beside you.

"It's because this isn't ♭form, isn't it?"

He stiffens.

"Nobody knows who you are on this side. If your looks stand out just a little bit, it's no big deal."

"It's different," Hyeongjun says.

"How?"

"Standing out a little bit here feels worse than standing out a lot there."

Something about the way he words it hurts. Not a lot, just a twinge, but you can't help the way it colors your tone when you reply, "It's just me right now, Hyeongjun-ah."

Don't leave for so long that reality makes me a stranger.

You hear him swallow. His lips part while yours press together tightly, and he slowly shifts, lifting his beanie until it's just above his eyes again. They meet yours and he breathes.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"It kind of felt like it, though." You pick at your nails, raising your hand up to your face to look at them. White polish to Hyeongjun's black. "The real world isn't all bad, you know. It's the one where we became friends."

"Yeah," he admits quietly.

A flake of paint makes its way underneath your fingernail. You scrape it out, conscious of the way your companion continues to stare at you.

Hyeongjun utters your name. When you glance over at him, blinking lazily, he peels off the beanie to let his hair fluff out.

You regard it.

"It's really pretty. It's like hot apple cider."

A flush makes its way to Hyeongjun's cheeks, complementing the reddish-brown strands that kiss them. "Ah, you think so?"

"Mhmm." His face turns redder, and to your embarrassment, it starts a familiar flutter in your gut. You casually turn your head to face the opposite direction. "B-But if you really don't want it, of course you can do what you want. It's your hair."

"I'll keep it."

You're surprised by the swiftness of his answer. "Really?"

"If you think it's good, then it's not bad." There's a sound of ruffling pages as Hyeongjun thumbs at the corner of his notebook. "You'll be the one seeing it the most other than my parents, anyway. I won't stand out to you."

Your response flies out before you can stop it. "You've always stood out to me, Hyeongjun-ah."

The silence that follows seems to stretch out into eternity, despite being only one or two seconds at most. You can feel his eyes widen, then blink, his fingers going still.

You sandwich your head between the ends of your pillow.

In the sudden darkness, a hand lightly taps your shoulder.

"You stand out to me, too."

Han Hyeongjun confuses you sometimes. He worries about dyed hair but doesn't think twice about dressing how he wants, speaks softly but turns his guitar volume to the max, likes his space but touches you in a way that reaches down into the pit of your soul. He is complex because people are complex, and he's a good person in both realities, despite what he fears.

You love him for that. You'll tell him so, one day.

[joobywooby]

HI hi! I saw you wanted XH suggestions and omg I'm honestly dying for two things and feel free to do either, both, or none!

A fluff of Jooyeon being cute and silly with you when you were down and depressed, and eventually it ends in bed cuddles and sweet kisses~

Ooorrr...

A O.de smut where Seungmin was so frustrated with work, you offer to listen to him but things end up spicy between you and him, especially after you offer for him to take his frustrations out on you...

a/n: Hi again honey! I do plan on writing the Jooyeon prompt for this ask but rest assured I'll be writing the seungmin on probably on Monday for you too! Thank you so much for checking up on me the other day too and I hope you like this <3 Love you so much! also I kinda changed a few things, so this one isn't really that silly, but I hope this comfort fic makes you happy when you read it.

taglist: @mon2sunjinsuver

Turn that frown upside down

Fluff, slight angst, comfort

Lee Jooyeon x Reader

A Jar of pickles. Something as simple as that was all it took for the dam to break.

This week had been especially tough. Normally, you could handle it, leaving all of the stress at work to help settle your nerves, but this time, nothing seemed to be going right. You had failed to meet your deadlines due to trying to juggle too many things at once,while also trying to get in even just a few hours of sleeping before getting up to repeat the cycle all over again.

However, you'd been trying everything and anything to hide how exhausted you were from Jooyeon. You knew he had been working overtime,too, as well as endless shows and schedules that had him falling into bed into instant sleep before he could even get into his pyjamas.

So, when the two of you finally had a mutual day off, you were bound and determined to find something to do to take your mind off of the constant stressors. So, you decided to make a snack tray, filling it up with all of the things the both of you loved before settling down to start a show the both of you had added to your watch later list.

Reaching into the cabinet for the unopened jar of mini pickles, your elbow bumps into it, resulting in the jar falling off of the shelf, glass and the contents of the container spilling into the floor anywhere it could reach. Out of pure frustration and instincts, you can't help but tear up, cheeks heating up and hands going to hide your face as you lose it, kneeling on the floor and releasing all of your pent up emotions.

You're so lost in your head you jump upon feeling a warm palm at the small of your back, helping you up off of the floor. "Baby what happened? Are you hurt? Here let me look at your knees", Jooyeon is so gentle, genuine concern in his eyes and his voice as he examines your legs, checking for any cuts of scrapes from the shattered glass.

"I-i'm okay. Just, just dropped something in the floor", you sniffle, wiping your eyes and your nose, avoiding his gaze. "Then why are you crying so hard,babe? Talk to me", his lips graze your forehead, holding you close to him as he waited for you to be ready.

"I've just been under so much stress at work, and nothing's been going well, at all. I just didn't want to worry you with my problems because I know you've been working so much and it's not fair", your voice is small, and he feels his heart break at your words.

"My love, It doesn't matter how stressed and tired I am from work. I'll never push your problems aside because I love you, I'm always here, okay? I'm not going anywhere anytime soon either. Turn that frown upside down,okay?", he giggles, pressing a kiss to both of your cheeks before reach down, grabbing you by the backs of your thighs before lifting you up into his arms, carrying you sweetly and gently to your shared bedroom, lips never leaving yours. The mess can always be cleaned up later, he had more important things to tend to.

[puppyluvfics]

October | Lee Jooyeon

Lee Jooyeon | part of Not In The Same Way: MTL Series WC: 1.3k Genre: Angst Summary: You loved Jooyeon. You did. But, God, you hated how little freedom you had with him... you just wanted to exist without having to deal with his spirals into jealousy. Maybe you should have, though. Warnings: none but also tread lightly because this might be... my saddest piece yet A/N: i saw this post on twt the other day and i think it sums this up pretty well...

“I… Listen. I loved you. And maybe, deep down, there’s a part of me that still does. But that part of me is so lost… it isn’t fair to me and it isn’t fair to you. I’ll see you around, okay? Take care of yourself.”

Jooyeon’s eyes widened at your words. You had argued the whole night, sure, but hearing you say this felt almost too finite, too final. Too real.

“You don’t mean that.” He said, finally finding his words, his voice coming out hoarse and broken.

“I do.” You replied, softly. Truthfully, you didn’t really know what you meant, you just knew that you needed a change. If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t really feel like you fell out of love with Jooyeon. He was just so clingy and while it could be cute at times, those times were so few and far between that it wasn’t worth it anymore. 

His eyes brimmed with tears as he looked you up and down, trying to read you.

“(Y/N), wh- how do I fix this? What did I do wrong?” He all but whispered. You took a deep, shaky breath, shaking your head at the same time. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Joo.” You said, but you both knew that was a lie. Well, maybe not a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth either. It wasn’t necessarily wrong of him to be clingy, but the way he had been acting lately had been so restricting. You felt like you couldn’t do anything or go anywhere without him without it being an issue. Just yesterday, you had gone out for lunch with a friend, and despite coming home on a high, your mood had instantly dropped, with Jooyeon arguing with you, begging for every single detail. You couldn’t blame him for being insecure, you had your moments as well, but this was something that was now stopping you from being yourself. And the way you saw it, it didn’t make sense for him to be in a relationship with someone who was being insincere. 

“Obviously I did, or you wouldn’t be breaking up with me.” His words stung. He had a point.

“Jooyeon, I just…” You started, walking over to the stairs and sitting down on the steps. “I don’t want to hurt you. You deserve so much better.” You fought back your own tears.

“Please hurt me. Because as it stands right now, I’m hurting you without even knowing, which is hurting me a lot more than you ever could. I don’t care if you hate me, but I can’t lose you. Not without trying to fix it, at least. Please, (Y/N).” He sat cross legged in front of you. God, he looked so beautiful despite his sad, broken expression. The way he looked up at you made your heart ache, even if you were only a few inches taller than him the way you were sitting. There was a part of you that wanted to just take it all back, to just endure the clinginess and jealousy and to learn to be okay with it all if it meant that you didn’t have to hurt him like this. But as much as you could sit here and say that now, you knew that in two weeks time, when it would happen again, you wound find yourself back in this position, and that cycle of hurting the both of you was almost worst than ripping the bandaid off and hurting him now.

“I don’t hate you. I never could. I just need to be alone for a while, Jooyeon.” You said after a few moments of silence. 

“So be alone with me.” He pleaded, his hands reaching out but falling short, unsure of if he could or should touch you right now.

“No, Joo. That’s…” You sigh, “That’s the point. I need to be alone by myself. I need to do things by myself for a bit. I need to feel like I can go places and see people and just be myself without worrying about you waiting here to interrogate me or breathing down my neck if you come with me. I’m sorry.” You couldn’t even bring yourself to look in his eyes. You could see the tears fall from his cheeks, dripping onto the carpet beneath you two, and you could only imagine what his face looked like. The way his brown eyes were darker, rimmed with the redness of his sadness, the way his lip quivered. You heard him sniffle as he processed your words, and that alone caused your own dam of tears to break.

“Jooyeon, I’m sorry-” You started again. But you were quickly cut off by him putting his hand up to stop you.

“I get it. Believe it or not, I hate myself for how I act. I saw what I was doing, I just couldn’t stop.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You whisper softly.

“Why didn’t you?!” He asked back, his tone almost biting.

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you!” You said through a small sob.

“So breaking up with me after not talking about it is supposed to hurt less?” His tone was more angry and hurt than sad, and fuck, did it hurt you too, to know you did this. He was right, you should have just talked to him about it, instead of letting it get this far. But if he had realized how he was acting, why didn’t he stop?

“You continuing to do it despite realizing it was hurting me is supposed to be okay?” You bit back. 

“I didn’t realize it was hurting you so bad that you wanted to break up with me, (Y/N)"!”

“Bullshit!” You said, your own tears turning from sadness to anger. You had never raised your voice at him before now, let alone swearing at him like this. An air of awkward silence fell over the both of you. He bit the inside of his cheek, not wanting to lash out and keep the cycle going, hurting the both of you more than you already had.

You both looked at each other, tears falling from your eyes, the silence only being broken by the occasional hiccup or shaky deep breath. Finally, you spoke.

“Jooyeon, God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” You whispered. If you could take every single thing back, you would in a heartbeat. Faster than a heartbeat. He said nothing in return, just looking over your features, trying to find any sort of emotion and sincerity behind them. And sure, he found sincerity in your apology, but he also found sincerity in the fact he had hurt you enough to get to this point. 

“No, (Y/N), I’m sorry.” He said, his voice quiet, low and gravelly. It was such a stark contrast to his usual voice. Frankly, you’d give anything in the world to hear him laugh right now. But you knew that you couldn’t. And what was scarier is that you probably just lost the chance to ever get the privilege to make him laugh again, let alone see him laugh at all. 

“I should go…” You said, after a long, uncomfortable while. He simply nodded, standing up and moving out of your way, walking up the stairs into what was once your shared bedroom. The same bedroom where you had made such incredible memories with him. You sighed, blinking away tears, going the opposite way, shutting the door behind you for the last time. As you stepped into the cold air of the night, your chest burned. You regretted everything. The fight, the fact you didn’t bring it up when it first started bothering you, the fact you hurt him more than anything or anyone had ever hurt you before. Now you could go wherever you wanted, do whatever you wanted, and see whoever you wanted. But at what cost?

CHOOSE ANOTHER MEMBER HERE

OR

LISTEN TO THE SONG THAT INSPIRED THIS, BELOW

[mirisss]

So Close, Yet So Far

Pairing: Oh Seungmin (O.De) x afab! reader

Gif is not mine - cred to owner

Wordcount ≈ 1.6k 

Warnings: angst, some like depressive thoughts

Genre/AU: Angst, college/university AU, non-idol au, 

Summary: Falling in love is supposed to be something beautiful, so why does it hurt so much?

Italics are thoughts

Please Reblog!

Seungmin’s POV

Enthralled by the sight in front of me, I sat as if in a trance just staring. I probably looked like a creep. But I just couldn’t remove my eyes. I could barely blink, afraid I would something. It was captivating. I became emerged in the moment, daydreaming of being a part of it. 

“Hey, Seungmin. Yo, man? Hello? You there?” I shook my head, ending my trance. I blinked a couple times in confusion to comprehend the situation. “Huh, oh, yeah. What’s up man?” Jiseok, my best friend, sat down beside me out in the courtyard. “Dude, you were totally staring. You gotta stop it, people are beginning to talk about how weird you are for just zoning out and staring like that all the time. You should be happy that no one else knows what, or who, you are staring at,” I let out a deep sigh before lowering my gaze to the ground, huh one of my shoelaces are untied I should fix that. “I know, it’s not like I think about it. It kind of just happens. I can’t help it that my eyes always seem to find her wherever I am,” Jiseok put his hand on my shoulder lightly squeezing in a somewhat comforting way. “Seung, this isn’t healthy. Come on,” “where are we going Seok?” “We, are going to meet up with the others and we’re going to have fun to take your mind of, all this,” I tried to give him a smile, but my muscles just weren’t cooperating with me, no matter how much I tried I couldn’t bring myself to smile. “Okay, let me just fix my shoelace,” As I bent down to retie my shoelace my eyes once again fell upon the same place as a minute before but now I found that bench empty, void of the one my eyes searched for. With one more deep sigh I stood up, grabbed my bag and walked away with Jiseok beside me. Maybe this is for the best, maybe distance and distractions are what I need. 

15 minutes later I found myself in Gunil’s parent’s garage where our little group of friends usually hang out. So far it was Gunil, Jiseok and I there. Jungsu, Hyungjun and Jooyeon were gonna be here in a couple minutes. I slouched down on one of the armchairs, how come life had to be so hard. Why are you so cruel? Was I asking too much? 

“YOOOO, Jooyeon in the houseeee!” And there he was, the maknae of out group, also the most energetic one - well most of the time at least. After Jooyeon came Jungsu and Hyungjun who both were much calmer - maybe because those two are introverted while the rest of us are extroverted. Jungsu took a seat in the armchair beside mine. “Hey Seungmin, how are you feeling?” Everyone sat down in their preferred spots and quieted down to hear my answer. “Like crap. I just want to like rip my heart out or something,” “Look, I kind of know what you are going through. Remember Yunhee? I was so in love with her but she rejected me, publicly, you know in front of the entire school. I thought she liked me too, but I was very wrong. However, I hadn’t known her as long as you’ve known (Y/n). So I don’t know exactly what you’re going through but we are here for you. I know you’re hurting but you’re not alone,” I looked toward Gunil with teary eyes.

“Seeing her everyday just hurts so much. I know she’s happy with him and I should be happy for her but god damn it hurts not having her. Knowing I created this cliff that drives us apart. I just want her back, I just want my friend back. My mom called yesterday asking if (Y/n) had talked about how we would celebrate christmas, if we were going to their house or to ours. Mom forgot that I told her that (Y/n) and I aren’t friends anymore. Do you know how much it hurt hearing my mom ask that? Every christmas prior to this one I’ve spent with my family and (Y/n) along with her family. But now, because of me, our parents can’t be friends anymore. I didn’t only ruin things for myself but for my parents as well,” “Seungmin, it might feel weird but technically, your parents and (Y/n)’s could still hang out but the two of you might not want to be there for now. Maybe in the future you can go back to your old ways. You never know,” “I guess you’re right,” Jun Han, always the one to bring in these nuanced thoughts, “But, I don’t know if I will ever loose these feelings. She’s my first love, I mean it’s been almost two months since I last texted with her but my feelings are just as strong,” “Hey, it’s okay. Feelings are complex, we’re not supposed to understand them all the time. Just remember that we’re here for you, okay? And if you really don’t want to risk seeing (Y/n) over christmas, then come celebrate it with my family and me.” “Thanks Seok, I’ll think about it. Thank you guys,” For the first time in a while I could conjure up a tiny smile, although the smile did nothing to conceal the dead and empty look in my eyes as I felt the great void of losing someone precious. The night continued with us playing some games to try and get my mind of (Y/n). It didn’t work fully but there were short fleeting moments when I felt like my old happy self once again. One day, I will be okay again. 

Christmas came around and it had been decided that I would celebrate with my family, who were going to celebrate with (Y/n), her family and her boyfriend. I found this out the morning of Christmas, so I had no chance of getting out of it. I would have to sit at the table watching as the love of my life is with someone who isn’t me.  

And so dinner time came around as the whole (Y/n) entourage arrived. Fortunately, I didn’t sit beside (Y/n) or her boyfriend, nor was I sitting directly opposite one of them. I was diagonally across from (Y/n) and with my brother in front of me. Occasionally my eyes would wonder and end up stopping once they fell upon (Y/n). I admired her smile, her laugh, her. Just everything about her. Suddenly, she turned her head and even though I hurriedly averted my eyes she still caught me staring. For the rest of the evening, I kept to the background, always with my eyes on the ground to avoid doing the same mistake again. Once the night came to an end, I watched as (Y/n) kissed her boyfriend outside our porch from the window in the kitchen, I dreamt of it being me but shook my head to rid myself of such thoughts. It could never be us. Throughout the night, we didn’t speak a single word to one another, not even hello or goodbye. 

It felt like those nightmare when you are running in a hallway but no matter how much you run you can never reach the end, the hallway just keeps going and going. It’s hopeless, no matter what you try, you can never make it out. Maybe if you came to a halt you would find a way out but then again, the monster chasing you is scary enough to keep you in motion. Stopping would mean death, probably, who knows. That’s exactly what I feel with you. I am always so close, yet so far away. You are always just barely out of my reach. No matter what I tried I just couldn’t get to you, I could never have you. You made that very clear. 

Seeing you with him, hurts. But what hurts the most, is the distance, the distance I created by telling you. Telling you I was in love with you, my childhood friend. Hearing  you laugh at me, thinking I was joking hurt. “Seungmin, you’re hilarious. That’s a good joke. But you know we could never date, we’re like siblings. Oh but now that we’re talking about things like these, I’m in love with -” One of our upperclassmen, and apparently he liked you too. And now you’re dating. In the beginning the growing distance wasn’t that noticeable, but you stopped sitting close enough to touch me, you stopped hugging me, we never had physical contact anymore. Then it was the physical conversations, you drifted away further and further, we barely spoke in person anymore. Finally, you stopped calling and you stopped answering my calls, we no longer texted or sent memes to one another. I gave up after you had ghosted me for a week. That’s when I knew that I had lost you.

Now all I can do is watch you from afar as you do all the things I dreamt of doing with you with him. Always looking away when you look my way because I don’t want to seem like a creep. I just can’t help myself, to me you are the sun. You are the most beautiful person in the world, to me you are a work of art. But just like with art pieces, I can only watch from a distance never close enough to feel you. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut and kept these stupid feelings hidden so that you wouldn’t be so far away. 

[yawn-junn]

I saw you needed an idea for gaon^^ can you write gaon (or all of xh) reacting to you damaging their instrument? angst and fluff pls!! 🩷

maybe you had an argument and knock over the instrument on accident but he thinks you did it on purpose. Or he hears a loud crash and walks in to the instrument being broken and you're upset but he's more worried about if you're okay

☆what did you do.... - Gaon☆

☆Special thanks too: Anon : Gaon : Xdinary Heroes

☆Note: hello! I hope you enjoy <3 feel free to leave anymore requests if you have them

☆Taglist: @mxlly143

☆TW: yelling : angry Gaon : arguing : cursing

10-6-23

Every month both you and Jiseok deep clean the shared apartment, Jiseok put trust in you too clean his baby's (guitars) although a big responsibility you assured him nothing bad would happen to them.

Getting the proper stuff to clean them you headed to the room where he stored them in, quickly getting to work soon after entering. It went well you kept your promise of not breaking them, failing to take notice one slowly slipping off the wall due to not being put up properly, heading to the door a loud crash from behind you.

Turning around surprised you noted just how bad the damage was not long after Jiseok came running in to check on you and his guitars, a loud gasp left Jiseok's mouth when he seen the scene Infront of him "what did you do..." Jiseok said anger very prominent in his eyes "i-i d-didnt-" you stuttered "what the hell" Jiseok cursed.

"pay attention when you put them up there" Jiseok said putting the blame on you "I didn't know it-" you tried to speak only for Jiseok to cut you off "well you sure didn't check" he spat his emotions clear in his voice

"I'm so sorry Jiseok" you apologized looking down at your feet "sorry isn't going to fix the child sized dent in my guitar Yn!" Jiseok screamed, looking up shocked never in your entire relationship had Jiseok screamed at you. "I know it doesn't what can I do to fix it?" You spoke tears pricking your eyes "there is no fixing it" Jiseok sighed. "I'll buy you a new one" you said quickly pulling out your phone "don't bother you'll probably break that one too" Jiseok said.

"...I'm sorry" you apologized once more "stop saying sorry like that's gonna fix it just leave the room" Jiseok rolled his eyes watching as you left the room with your head down, a pang of guilt struck his heart maybe he took it too far.

A fe hours after the incident and after you've ordered Jiseok a new guitar that looks almost identical to the other one, Jiseok came towards you "I'm sorry yn, maybe I took it too far. It's not your fault, I'm sorry for yelling at you like it was" he apologized "no dont apologize I broke it, it's my fault I should have been more careful....I ordered you one that looks almost like that one" you said pulling out your phone to show him the receipt.

"Awww Yn you didn't have too" he said pulling you up into a hug "I did though I broke the other one" you said stuffing your face in his neck causing him to giggle "you didn't break it you just put a child sized dent in it" he commented rubbing your back "I love you Yn.." he confessed "I love you too.." you replied the both of you spent the rest of the night making it up to one another by watching movies and playing games.

©Yawnzzznnn do not steal or copy my work

[xhfics]

Masterlist

(f) fluff, (sg) suggestive, (s) smut, (a) angst

Small blurbs contain all genres; soft/hard thoughts, opinions, little scenarios etc

Gunil

Practice (s)

Cinema (f)

Wedding party (f)

Small blurbs

Your camera roll when dating him

Jungsu

Caught (s) (part2)

Plump (f, sg)

First Kiss (f)

Help yourself (s)

Small blurbs

Your camera roll when dating him

Gaon/Jiseok

Blind Date (f)

And they were roommates (s)

One night stand (s)

Lake Pluto (f, au)

Small blurbs

Your camera roll when dating him

[ collab with @xhdream ]

1. Money on my mind - preppy!jiseok (s)

2. Part 2 (s)

O.de/Seungmin

Caught (s) (part1)

Hickey (f, sg)

Spider-Man Kiss (f)

French Kiss (s)

Happy birthday (f)

Apocalypse (s, a)

Small blurbs

- "Is this still hugging or does it count as cuddling?" Part 1 - part 2 - part 3

Your camera roll when dating him

Hyeongjun/Junhan

Spending the night (f)

Small blurbs

Your camera roll when dating him

Jooyeon

Isn't she lovely? (f)

Drive In (f, sg)

Lucky Charm (f)

Perfect stranger (f)

Small blurbs

Your camera roll when dating him

Other

MTL kiss you during an argument (f, slight a)

MTL sending nsfw content to you + their reaction to you sending it to them (sg)

Their s/o sleeps with a lot of plushies (f, sg)

MTL office romance/sex (s)

They catch you crying while listening to one of their songs (a, f)

Kissing you first when they leave vs asking for a kiss (f)

XH as types of kisses (f)

XH as seasons (f)

When they have the insatiable need to kiss you (f, sg)

Reaction to you not wanting to see their comeback teasers because they're too hot (f)

Things you do that might make them horny (sg)

Cooking together (f)

Reaction to calling them a pet name for the first time (f)

Fake text messages (just fluff and suggestive for now!)

You miss them (f)

Junhan bf texts (f)

Watching RTW and sending a screenshot (f)

A suggestive text with bf Jungsu (sg)

Telling them you want to 'bite/eat' them as reaction to a cute pic they send (f, sg ish)

[villainsblog97]

Xdinary Heroes: Jooyeon as your Boyfriend

Happy 400 Days with Xdinary Heroes! Now I know I've already done a XH as your boyfriend and the romance troupes, but to celebrate 400 days with our heroes, I wanna get just a little more in depth with each member!

Summary: How is our fun-loving maknae bassist as your boyfriend?

Warnings: maybe some mentions of intimacy, Arguments, nothing too serious

Scenario: Boyfriend AU, Romance, Fluff, slight angst here and there.

(This is my boy! I'm about to hurt myself real good with this one!)

How You Met:

Okay

You two 100% definitely met at a music shop

You either had a 5 Seconds of Summer shirt on

Or you were listening to 5 Seconds of Summer

Either way he was in love

He told you how much he loved the Australian band

And from there you both talked about it for hours

Dates:

Dates with Jooyeon are so beyond fun

Like they're so random

But you love it

Sometimes they could be bowling

Or the amusement park

Or sometimes they're just in home dates where you guys have snacks and drinks and you're watching a movie

Or you could be watching music videos on Youtube

It's seriously so random

He might be sitting there with you watching a movie

And suddenly he wants to go get ice cream

Then while you guys are walking

He sees something else

And now he wants to go make couple phone cases

And on the way there

You guys pass by the music shop

So you gotta go in there first

Like I said

Random

But fun

Arguments:

(Can I just skip this one??)

Jooyeon doesn't show his emotions much

So sometimes it can look like he doesn't care

He may even act like he doesn't care

But he does

So when he hears you yelling

Or getting upset

It kills him

But just more on the inside

He would have to stop the fight

He would definitely use his guitar skills to his advantage

Play you all the songs he knows you love

You can't help it

He is your safe place

And you never want to lose that

If he's not anywhere near a guitar

He'll just walk over to you

And wrap his arms around you tightly

He'd also ask if you guys could just stop fighting

"I don't wanna fight anymore"

Affections:

This boy is so affectionate

He craves it

All the time

Like he loves when you hug him from behind

He'd do the same to you

He also loves holding you at night

He sleeps better that way

He's never afraid to show how much he loves you

He'd also sit with you

His arms around you

Teaching you how to play the guitar

Stealing a kiss every now and then

Okay now it needs to be covered

Jooyeon looks like a romantic kisser

Like he likes to build up to the kiss

Then when he does

He takes his time

Holding his hand against your cheek

Or rested gently on your neck

Or wrapped around your waist

And his kisses are always so tender and loving

Nothing is rushed in any way

(I'm actually crying)

The Little Things:

The list you have for things you love about Jooyeon

Could drag all the way to China

His voice would be the top of the list

His voice alone is one thing you definitely fell in love with

But then it was his laugh

That loud, adorable laugh

It makes you laugh right along with him

Now you two definitely have those nights

Where you have the music blasting

You both are screaming out the lyrics to My Chemical Romance's song Famous Last Words

"I AM NOT AFRAID TO KEEP ON LIVING, I AM NOT AFRAID TO WALK THIS WORLD ALONE!!!"

You both pour your hearts and souls out to that and many more rock bands

You also love the little noises he makes

When he's excited

When he's happy

You love hearing them

You call it Happy Jooyeon Noises

He also has a million things he loves about you

He loves your amazing taste in music

And he loves your carefree fearless attitude

And of course

He loves when you play with his hair

Even just running your fingers through it

He's addicted to that feeling

Like he's addicted to you

(Oof)

Jooyeon is not only your boyfriend, he's like your best friend, he is your everything, he wants to hold that smile forever and never see it fade.