#YOU SURE YOU'RE ON MY LEVEL? // self-promo

[kelvintimeline]

Thank you for your comments regarding Gaiman. I'm sure it feels like you're talking to a brick wall when trying to communicate to his stans why their continued support of him/his works is so harmful, but please know that your efforts are appreciated and so important.

It’s no problem. The entire fandom behaviour is appalling and so self centered and it’s important to call that out.

On some level, I can sympathize with being surprised and hurt by someone you who’ve invested in—even indirectly, through just enjoying his art if not himself personally—ending up being awful.

I can even vaguely understand not being able to let the art go. At least not immediately.

I would let it go but I understand if you’ve put years in… it’s hard.

But it’s just the fact that people have to post about it that’s an issue. To immediately find out about someone else’s suffering and think “Not only will I keep consuming their victimizer’s art, I will do so publicly AND defend my moral right to do so, ensuring their abuser has a continued legacy and an empowered platform to use against even more victims,” is truly horrific.

Trying to create loopholes and make the consumption of rapists art not just morally neutral but morally good (“i’m supporting the crew of the show who rely on him for work!!” “i’m pirating so in a way i’m stealing from him :)” “we’re doing this for each other not for him, good omens is ours now, not his!” “we’re trying to get him fired so it’s okay to be excited for season 3” and the worst one i’ve seen so far “actually if the show gets canceled because of him, we might get fanfic endings even spicier (yes that’s the exact term) than what we would’ve gotten on the show”) is heinous.

It’s cruel.

It is genuinely cruel to take such a scary moment for his (at least) two victims and find a way to make it about how you can still uplift Neil’s work without uplifting him. It’s cruel and untrue.

You cannot separate this art from the artist while he lives, while he uses his art to find victims, while his platform will be used to call his victims liars.

But if you want to enjoy his art as ethically as possible (which isn’t very ethically but it is a spectrum) you cannot do it as a fandom. You cannot publicly create art and fic and posts as free advertising for his products and be in the moral right

or even in the morally grey.

You side with a victimizer when you side with the victimizer’s art.

And so, if you’re some fandom brained you can’t let it go: Your ONLY method of consuming that art is privately, wallowing in the shame of it. Not offering him promo, not praising his art for how it’s so good it saved your life, but instead just thinking it quietly to yourself.

Bad people make good art sometimes. They do.

But that isn’t justification enough to keep publicly enjoying that art.

Not if you claim to care about the victims,

So either say you think the victims are lying hussies and you’ll stand by your man, Neil.

Or shut the fuck up, stop posting about Neil’s art, and stand by the victims.

It is no burden to me to point out these are the only two options left.

[melontoyo]

fav Onmyoji character and why?🤔

*cracks knuckles* Alright, you got me with this ask.

1. Asura Objectively, the number one favorite. You cannot separate his character or his story from Taishakuten, but in the end I guess it's natural to become very attached to the hero of a specific story, (a double hero story of a hero and an anti-hero, who switch roles halfway through), especially if they're so, so wonderfully fucked up. Asura (and when I speak of him, it applies to Taishakuten too, since neither character would be who they are without the other) is the deepest, most fleshed-out, most complicated and unique character in the entire game. His story and characterization and the accompanying media is so incredibly well produced, it can easily compete (and beat) other highly acclaimed stories out there. To think this was made, as essentially promo material, for a free-to-play mainland Chinese gacha game is absolutely NUTS. Yes I will praise this story and its production level to the stars because it irreversibly changed me. To me, this is the problematic, dramatic, queer love story. You know how Asura tells Taishakuten how meeting him was as if finally finding the thing he had been searching for all his life. This is me with this story, and this character. What I love is how he's so deeply complicated and inherently flawed, that even with the "good end" he chose for himself, his internal conflict is never resolved. He's someone who fights for genuine justice, someone who is genuinely caring, someone who's deep down insecure about himself, about opening himself up, trusting others, someone who wants to live a simple life and enjoy the little things. But he also genuinely enjoys committing mass murder, sadistic torture, he's rash and impulsive, he's someone who naturally chooses cruel means to an end. He swore to never kill again, to go against the very core of him, lock himself up and seal his own powers. And yet the first thing he does upon returning to the world of peace he made possible... is to murder without a second thought. And it's not a plot hole, it's a feature. Even when he's sane, he "learned" to deal with his own trauma in a completely unhealthy way, possibly as self punishment. This is obvious by how he's so loving and caring when dealing with Taishakuten's trauma.... Also I just want to add one thing. I'm glad I'm somehow able to gleefully ignore the fandom at large because, sorry, they don't get it. I'm tired of seeing nothing but fans taking everything interesting away from this story and washing it down to "uwu cute domestic boyfriends". Like heck no, these characters are so good because they are made to be incredibly fucked up.

2. Orochi Tough choice... but it's Orochi, the reason why I started playing this game. Again, a character who's absolutely delicious to rotate around in my brain like a rotisserie chicken because he's so complicated and so inherently flawed, and yet so right at the same time. Imho, he's an amazing antagonist and again, I very much distance myself from the fandom wo won't shut up about "snake eating books". Because both due to the nature of the game and its subsequent production approach, and because of its target audience, which is very much young adults despite the 8+ rating, where I don't even understand how they achieved this rating with all the outright graphic violence, drug abuse, and 900 dollar "micro" transactions etc, the story won't be explained and presented to you on a silver plate. You're supposed to come up with your own interpretation for certain parts, and it's exactly why stories for adult audiences are so enjoyable, for me anyway. Something that is a major contributing factor to me loving Orochi so much is Miyano Mamoru's voice acting which is absolutely insane. Not sure how the director instructed him, or how much they pay him, but basically he sounds like on the verge of an orgasm the entire goddamn time with the way how he deeply savors each word on his tongue before speaking it, and it's so incredibly fitting. Maybe Miyano Mamoru understands Orochi better than the writers themselves, who knows... Regardless, the way how Orochi's character and personality is so perfectly portrayed through the voice acting is heavenly. His voice is like sickly sweet, thick, honey, innocent and nonchalant, yet dominating and bewitching. I mean. You can just hear for yourself. (Note, it's best if you can understand Japanese because the official English translations unfortunately suck.)

3. Suzuka Wait, an actually good-aligned character??? Anyway, Suzuka is a wonderful take on the "big sister" archetype. She is big-hearted, kind, accepting, strong, determined, and has a great sense of responsibility. But she ends up being too trusting in others, in the way that she believes others are just as strong as her to fend for themselves, which ends up literally devastating her entire found family and the place they called home, literally killing her most important person in body and mind, her found brother. And yet, she's so strong to be able to not give up, to accept all the pain, to heal and to rebuild what they have lost. Also, as someone with the best big sister in the world, her character just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. She's wonderful.

And as a bonus, here's a selection of other favs in no particular order, because hell, in the end it's a waifu collection game and there's bound to be a lot of favs for varying reasons.

Enma, because I'm not immune to bewitching milfs, and her design is one of the absolute best in the entire game.

Tsukuyomi, because they're so sad and wonderfully questionable, also actually canon non-binary.

Onikiri. Groomed to be fucked up, and yet after regaining his free will, he willingly steps back into that path, because it's what he inherently craves. So delicious.

Garuda, my favorite disaster bi bird and Asura's pet dog. Probably one of the "normalest" and ironically most likeable characters. He's a bit conceited, strong and actually.... smart. And smart in the way that he knows his place, knows his limits and won't try things out of his league. And yet he can't help his smugness and want to test the waters... but he's a survivor still : ^)

And honorary mention to my fav hairy braindead bimbo slut, Kamikui. Yep I love them very dearly, and they're also carried by incredible voice acting.

[84reedsy]

The Mentorship, Part 22 - The End

The Mentorship

Characters: Curt Hennig/FemOC , Scott Hall/FemOC

Part 22 of 22

Warnings/Considerations: Smut, Age Gap, Power Dynamics, Dirty Talk, swearing

Word Count: 3470

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

Taglist: @writeandsurvive @theweaselandthekilt To anyone and everyone who's read this; a sincere thank you from the bottom of my heart. This was the first thing I started writing when getting back into the wrestling fandom and it was meant to be just a one chapter blurb - but it grew into much more! Everyone's kind words and encouragement made finishing this possible <3

Pay-Per-Views were always more stressful. There was a lot more pressure to perform perfectly - much less was left to chance. Honestly, it felt like managerial over-reach, especially when they second-guessed Curt's suggestion for opening the match. Brinkley frowned at the man she'd never seen before yet acted as if he knew better than the three professional journeymen who stood next to her.  

Curt shook his head to discourage her argument and Scott subtly touched her arm.  She didn't know how they were so calm and so willingly taking bad direction from this wannabe booker. It was insulting to her, let alone them. 

“This time,” Curt looked around them once the four of them were alone again, “we are here to protect you. We usually end up doing whatever we want.  For us,  it's like ‘so what if Russo bitches about it’. But…when you're on your own,  you're gonna have to pick your own battles with them,” he knew as a newcomer she wouldn't carry enough clout outside of this match. 

“There's only so much we'll be able to say,” Scott followed up. 

“I get it…” she nodded, understanding their warning, “Don't rock the boat unless I absolutely have to,”

“Jesus, that boat is gonna end up capsizing” Kevin rolled his eyes,  but smirked at her,  ruffling her hair like a child. 

“Thanks A LOT, now I have to go fix it!” She scurried back to hair and makeup,  knowing time was running short. She could already hear the crowd reacting to the opening matches.  Her stomach turned as her hair was resmoothed and fixed into a high pony with a braid wrapped around its base. She wasn't sure she'd ever been this nervous.

She worried she might throw up in the hallway from the nerves as she made her way to the locker room,  trying to ignore the distant roar of 50,000 people that echoed through the concrete halls. Their match was still an hour away,  how was she ever going to maintain until then?

“Aren't you glad we taped our promos already?” Curt smirked as she paced in the locker room looking a little pale. Scott and Kevin were filming their response live to the crowd now. He knew she'd get there eventually,  once she got all of these tough firsts out of the way. 

“God, yeah,  I'd be a mess if we did it now, live. Why are pay-per-views so stressful?!” She continued pacing around the room to dispel her nervous energy,  shaking out her arms to keep them loose.

Curt watched her, thoughts and memories swirling around in his head. If he’d never suggested what he had to Scott, he had to wonder if she’d still just be pining from afar and spending her nights in Curt’s room, working out her energies there. He knew he’d done this to himself and that it was the right thing to do, but he couldn’t help but feel some level of selfish regret.

He knew what he’d like to do to redirect her mind and what to channel that energy into. He couldn't deny that he'd pleasured himself before many big matches just to level out. Sex (even with one's self)  was the ultimate way to prepare for a high energy performance. It was the same with actors,  singers… wrestlers were no different. He could feel his impulsivity tapping at the back of his mind,  making unsettlingly concrete arguments in favor of the proposition.

But he knew she'd tell Scott. She was adamant about being honest with him.  He was grateful and irritated that she'd listened so well to his lessons.  He didn't think he wanted to deal with however Scott may feel about it. It was better to keep the peace.

“CURT!” Brinkley snapped him with his towel,  jarring his focus back to the present, “where are you?” She asked,  having been rambling on for a few minutes only to see him staring off into the middle distance. The way he broke out into the tiniest of cold sweats and looked a little befuddled gave her a hint. 

“Sorry,  what?  What were you saying?” He still shook his head, hoping it was dissolve the vivid memories in his head. 

Brinkley straddled the bench he was sitting on a he pulled his kneepads just below his knees. She picked at a knot in the wood with her fingernail. 

“Is it always gonna be like this?” She asked barely above a mumble,  only looking up at him after she asked.  He paused from answering right away,  fiddling with his boots still.  He sighed and rested his forearms on his knees. 

“We're friends first, right?” He asked.

“That's what I hope for,” she oddly thought of all the times he turned her down,  wondering if he was regretting them, “But is that too selfish of me? Is that me being naive?”

“No,  it's not selfish of you.  I should be able to give that to you.” He ran his hand over his slicked hair, “but I'd like to say something if I could,” he looked at her for silent permission.

She nodded.

“I wish I'd stayed professional with all this,” he knew that part would sound harsh,  but he paused before the rest,  “Because you are the best I've ever felt with somebody in that way…in a lot of ways actually. And going forward now knowing what I'm missing,  knowing what we had…I just hate that I have to gatekeep what I didn't before” he stumbled around his words a little, looking frustrated.

“I know what you mean,” she tried to reassure him, “The idea of doing anything to hurt Scott makes me sick to my stomach…but it doesn't stop me from thinking about you. You were my first,  I'm always going to remember what we were,” she reached out,  resting her hand on the inside of his elbow. 

“I know you moving on is the right thing,  baby girl.  I just hate the idea of being left behind,” he laid his hand over hers, “But I want you to do well…I want you to turn this place on its head.  Be the first woman to get top billing. Of anyone…you can do it.”

“Thanks for believing in me all this time,” she squeezed his hand a little,  “Curt if you want-” she started but he cut her off.

“I want you to do well in this match.  And I know in my gut you will, so just…focus on that,” he said, squeezing back harder.  He knew what she was about to offer; either inspired to out of pity for him or out of mutual desire, maybe even nostalgia…he knew nothing down that path was going to help her.  And his job had been to help her. 

Letting her go was the best thing he could do for her now. 

--------------------------------

Brinkley didn't think she'd ever been this nervous on this side of the curtain. Even her first day was less nerve wracking than this.  Her pulse thundered in her ears as she focused on her breath and tried to blank out the last few months. 

“Don't forget,” Curt reminded her,  hoping that any conversation would be calming, “you're not my valet this time.  You're my partner. First time and last time with me, “ he looked over her outfit,  the long leggings a better choice than her ass half hanging out of her shorts…at least for this match. The leggings were still stunning, criss-crossed orange and black lines went up the outside of each leg,  large swaths were thin mesh,  leaving a lot of skin somewhat exposed. The purple was perfect against her skin. 

The top was another piece he bought,  the strappy corset laced top. It added the perfect subtle sexuality to her outfit, not that she needed the help.

“Partners,” Brinkley reached out her hand, Curt took it, nodding his head as he smiled. 

“One last time,” He took a deep breath as the entrance music began playing. 

This time, he went out first, playing to the crowd and then building up Brinkley’s entrance to a surprisingly loud pop from the crowd. The sound made Brinkley grin widely. She wondered if the face turn would carry through her turning on Curt. They had been heels, but if the match was done like they’d planned…Curt would remain a heel and she would be the face among the Outsiders. That is until she adapted to their sneaky ways. 

She felt comfortable with their plans. The future wasn’t scary - she wasn’t nervous or mournful like she thought she might feel. Curt hyped her up on the way to the ring as the camera followed closely. 

The intimidating factor came from the two large men waiting in the ring for them. She almost wished she was still mad at Scott, it would make keeping a straight face easier. Especially with the way that Scott and Kevin looked at her like they were going to devour her. She did realize that she was the prize of the match - she let that boost her confidence and distract from the imposing opponents ahead. 

She and Curt played to the crowd, mimicking each other's movements while they stood on the ropes in opposite corners. They synchronized their gum slapping and the crowd ate every bit of it up.

As they all four stood in the ring, separated only by the referee who was telling them to get to their corners, Brinkley pleaded to start the match. She enjoyed the acting part of kayfabe and she was among three of the best at it. 

“C’mon Hennig, let me start, I can take these old guys!” She insulted them, as if Curt wasn’t the same age as them.

“Yeah, Hennig, let her take us on, let us have a go at the rookie,” Kevin nodded, sarcastically smiling as his words were meant to be insulting. 

“Yeah, we got lots of moves for what’s about to be ours,” Scott pulled on a strand of her hair lightly, stepping back quickly as she shot him a warning look. The crowd responded as well.

“Yaaaaawn, same old tired moves you've been using for the last 15 years?  Spare me,” she rolled her eyes, taking a step back as Scott started for her.

Curt shoved him back, barking at Brinkley to get to their corner.  She frowned as if offended.

“Yeah, sweetheart, wait in the corner like a good little girl,” Kevin doubled down on his disrespectful tone. She flipped him off, but retreated through the ropes as did Kevin, Scott and Curt beginning their dance around the middle of the ring.  After smacking gum through the air and a toothpick being thrown, the two locked up.  

Brinkley tried to encourage Curt, holding her hand out for a tag but was denied when she was ignored. She played up throwing a tantrum, even playing the first couple of rows of fans that his refusal was “bullshit”. A contingent of fans started a change of the word, turning into a chorus against Curt. He was on the losing end now, Scott and Kevin having exchanged places a few times by now. Curt was far from the ‘fresh man’ in. 

“CURT, COME ON!” Brinkley yelled, reaching her arm dramatically out over the rope as far as she could manage. The crowd was behind her, the chant now changing to “Tag her! Tag her!”

Curt took a clothesline and stumbled backwards, his hand falling into hers as she took the tag and he rolled out to the floor. She jumped into the ring, a disheveled Scott staring her down from the middle of the ring. He held up both hands, beckoning her to try him. He looked back at Kevin, both pointing at her and laughing. She took the chance to leg sweep him to the canvas, standing again quickly while looking down at his stunned face. 

“Oh you got tricks?” He looked threatening at her, “Let’s do this then,” 

He locked up with her, reminding her quietly to keep breathing through every move and that he was swinging her into the ropes. She followed the direction, sliding between his legs and grabbing his ankles, again leaving him on his back on the canvas. He cursed, slapping the ring in frustration as she ‘outsmarted’ him again. 

She walked too close to the opponents corner and Kevin grabbed her, holding her against the turnbuckle. Scott lined up a punch, but right before he corrected, she slipped out of the grip downward, Scott connecting with Kevin instead and knocking him off the ring apron.

Scott looked over the rope at Kevin laying on the mats below, Brinkley threw herself into the opposite rope and toward Scott, hitting him with an arm bar that sent him over the top rope as well, landing on top of Kevin. 

The thunderous pop from the crowd was deafening. She tried to not wince as the noise overwhelmed her ears. But she held up a hand above her head,  calling for more. 

The referee started counting out Scott who took nearly 8 of the count to roll back in.  She had to use every ounce of her acting to not react to the dark ‘anger’ in Scott's eyes. He locked up with her again,  once more slinging her into the ropes and hooking her into an arm bar takedown. She landed flat with a loud thud on the mat. She sold the fall, rolling to her side and moaning into the mat.

She looked toward her home corner and Curt was leaning over the rope, barking a demand that she tag him, she ‘drug’ herself towards him,  but Scott grabbed her by the ankle and dragged her backwards to his corners, now tagging Kevin. 

Kevin held her in the corner and she braced herself for the chops she knew was coming. He left them high to avoid a tit-shot, but there was careless padding higher and the slap stung, redding her skin. She sold it well, slipping downward again, only for Kevin to grab her by the hair.

She went for the easy low blow, Kevin selling like a champ as he went down into a fetal position. She knew Curt wanted back in and she should tag him,  but she was having fun. And being with Scott and Kevin moving forward, who knew when she'd have a chance to fight them again?

But she was getting winded for real at this point and made a dramatic crawl that the crowd reacted to with supportive cheers; yelling louder and louder as she drew closer. She'd gotten at least 6-7 minutes in. 

Just as Kev tagged Scott and he quickly stepped in, she slapped Curt's outstretched fingers and he came flying in with fresh energy, pummeling Scott. She rolled out under the ropes, “recovering”.

She caught her breath, hearing the bumps in the ring as she reached under it. The folding chair was exactly where it was supposed to be as she slid it out and slowly made her way to her feet. She held up her finger to her lips to the fans at the barricade as she played out her secret “cheat”.

She wondered how much heat she might actually pull as “ooooo's” filtered through the nearby crowd. She waited several minutes until her opportune moment presented itself, watching as Scott got the upperhand, and Curt was trying to mount a comeback.

She slid in the ring with the chair as Kevin had the attention of the ref, trying to enter the ring. The crowd popped when she picked up the chair, her knuckles white as she gripped the legs tightly. A thousand thoughts spun through her mind, but she ignored any objections of her own - knowing this was the best thing for the story line. 

She landed a loud, safe slap of the metal chair against Curt’s back and stood for a moment while the crowd hushed for a second before reacting in surprise. Scott fell forward over Curt as Kevin pointed the ref to the cover. 1, 2, 3. 

The heat from the crowd was instant and it bled over to Kevin who came over and celebrated with her. Scott was up moments later, each man holding a wrist of her’s in victory. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

She waited in the wings of the gorilla as they exited for Curt as he came back through the curtain. She couldn’t tell if he was mad or just exhausted. Maybe both. But as he looked up at her, trying to smooth back his hair, he grinned a little and smirked as he shook his head. 

“Wasn’t expecting that…” He admitted, “But…it was by far the best way to do it.” He didn’t like feeling like he was left out of the conversation, but he also knew she owed him a couple of receipts for a couple of different reasons, “Are we even now? Or do I still gotta watch my back around you?” He joked. 

“I feel like I should be able to still get in one rib before we call it even,” She postured, “but I GUESS we can call a truce,” She held out her hand to him. He looked at it and after a brief pause, shook her hand. They both smiled, but he could see tears creeping into the corner of her eyes. 

“Thank you for everything, Curt,” She said through the ache in her throat. She felt silly for getting emotional. She would see him every night for the foreseeable future. They would likely be feeding in the ring, too. He would be trying to convince her to come back only for her to set him up for a Scott and Kevin melee. 

But regardless, it felt like the end of an era for her.  She finished shaking his hand, pulling away as they walked down the hall to wear Scott waited for her, slinging his arms across her shoulders.

“You guys headed out tonight?” Curt asked, “Got room in the back unless you wanna fight Steiner for the front,” he joked. 

“Nope, in the morning, heading back to Scott's tonight,” Brinkley said, looking forward to that big house with just the two of them, “Kev's gonna swing by and get us,”

“We've still got a follow up interview to do for the next tv,” Scott reminded her as she started to untie her boots. She groaned, starting to lace them back up. 

“I forgot about that, I'll be there in just a sec,” she told Scott, waving him on. He kissed her temple, making her giggle as he tickled her cheek with his stubble.

Sweaty coworkers filtered in and out, interrupting her lacing to compliment her on the match, almost always giving Curt his due credit, though he shrugged it off, humbly. He gave her all the accolades. Some even talked about possibly working together with Scott and Kevin.

When Russo came in with a compliment through his gritted teeth, Brinkley had to bite back her I told you so's, she took a page from Curt's book of humility and simply thanked him. 

She looked at Curt who was finishing buttoning his shirt, “Guess we'll see you in Atlanta, then,” she said as he zipped his bag closed.

“See you in Atlanta, Brink. Keep those boys in line,  now,” he teased, slapping her lightly on the shoulder as he walked out of the locker room. He walked alone to the car, knowing Ricky would be out soon. He tossed his bag into the trunk,  laughing to himself as he imagined what mouthy, genius promo Brinkley was probably cutting against him. He looked forward to being as surprised as everyone else tomorrow when he saw it on a backstage monitor.

He had a few ideas of what she might say, each one making him laugh more than the last.

As he drove down the dark highway once again, he thought of how she would do great things. Her name would be in the marquee long after he'd retire. Who knows? Maybe in a strange twist he'd end up her valet.

“Everybody's jealous of your match,” Rick said, slouched down in the passenger seat with a baseball cap pulled over his eyes,  “No one's gonna want to follow that kid,” he said.

Curt felt a genuine pride and some relief. But the credit for winning over everyone else was squarely with Brinkley. That was her gift, her natural talent. If only everyone had that,  the locker room would be a far better place.

But as the night wore on and the yellow dotted lines passed by in the headlights, he felt content. He felt peace.

He'd done his job, he'd taught her well.

And though he hadn't expected it, he was thankful for all the things she'd taught him along the way, too.

[ot3]

do you have a paypal or something that we could donate to if your computer is broken?

Normally i'd say not to give me any money but well right now literally every penny i have is going to trying to get to my friend's wedding so i'll take this opportunity to do some rare self promo.

If you'd like to give me some money my shop is currently open with prints, stickers, pins, charms, and some leftover zines.

i've also got commissions open right now although these might be a little slow because i've got a loooot of drawing obligations presently.

my 142 page PDF talking about how to break down and analyze compositions in art is pay what you want on ko-fi. if you're an artist of any skill level, or even just interested in learning some vocabulary to understand art better, im sure theres at least something in here that will be interesting to you.

i've also got a patreon, although i haven't updated it super recently due to the previously mentioned drawing obligations. on patreon i've got a bunch of full-res, unflattened PSDs of a lot of my fully finished illustrations, full-res transparent lineart and sketches for people to color, thumbnails + commentary on both the art and writing of my AA comic, and timelapses.

if none of that stuff strikes your fancy but you'd still like to toss me a couple of bucks, you can do so through ko-fi

[captainblou]

hiii for the fandom questions: 23 & 30 and for the fic writer questions: 11 & 17 :)))

Hiiii friend *.*

fandom questions:

23) Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Oh you mean, do a shameless self promo?? I have to go with Thank You For the Thorns. It's my first long fic that I have ever finished, I poured a lot of feelings into it, into Crowley's backstory and his relationship with himself and Ezra (it's a human AU, that's what I do apparently).

30) What inspires you to write?

Overcoming adversity. It's a recurring theme in what I write apparently, I tend to give my characters tragic backstory or ongoing problems, and I love how they find ways to overcome their difficulties. On a more concrete level: MUSIC. I can't listen to music without daydreaming about fanfiction. Gimme a song, I'll write you a silly scene that matches.

Fic Writer Questions:

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

PLANNING. I still dive head first, throw things at the wall and see what sticks, but now I actually take the time to plan my stories, make sure I know where I'm going. That has helped me turn WIPs into finalized stories. Also: my english! I started writing in English about 4 months ago, so it's only getting better!!

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Don't stop. I know, I stopped, for 15 years I stopped, I thought I couldn't write anymore. Don't fucking stop, because you're actually good at it, and the only way to get better is to keep going.

Thank you so much for asking these Sony, it's really cool to take some time to think about these subjects!!!

[twelvedaysinaugust]

I think Harry and Louis do these things mainly for themselves and perhaps for each other, but not for fans directly. /

I mostly agree with this answer, mod, but I have a slightly different take on this. I do think that both Harry and Louis do some things for fans directly, honestly. I think if they wanted to put an end to the Larry speculation and to have a purely private relationship, it would be very easy for them to avoid not the things they do that feel like self-expression (like particular lyrics, or even the Harryween Grease choice) but the things they do that feel like solely or mostly communication with fans/directed at fans (like bluegreening, for example).

But they don't do that. And while sure, maybe part of it is "Larrybaiting", I'm more inclined to think that both of them just have a very complicated relationship with their fans who are Larries. Even if in their current circumstances, taking into account all of their different priorities and the various factors, they're choosing to remain largely closeted, I don't think they particularly like that choice and would prefer circumstances were different. And even if Larries make their lives more difficult in a lot of ways, they've also both said things in the not too distant past that make me think they find value in and appreciate maintaining a portion of their fans who do see their relationship (Harry saying "thank you for listening, thank you for accepting, thank you for knowing”, I can't find the direct quote but Louis' quote about fans at shows making him feel supported and accepted). I'm obviously speculating, but I can imagine that, for example, if you want to express yourself by writing a love song about your partner, on some level you'd feel an appreciation for fans who get out of it what you put into it, even if that's not the only interpretation you want people to have. Besides, I think they will eventually come out, and even if it's on a 5-7 year, long term timeframe, keeping Larries around ensures that when it does happen, they know they have a core fanbase who will still support them.

I agree with your general meaning in the sense that Harry and Louis both do things that keep Larry alive. If you dress up as Danny Zuko for the highly anticipated Harryween show, people are going to make a certain connection. If you point to a "Larry is Real" sign in front of a room full of Larries, people are going to draw certain conclusions. I could go on, but the point is that whether it's for fans or not, a lot of it does happen in front of fans. I also think Larry factors into both of their promo and, if I'm being honest, my overall feelings about that are quite negative. So I just try to find the humor in it where I can and then move on. But once again, it keeps it alive. I think you're right to say that the reasons are really complex and multi-faceted.

Except for a few very specific examples, I really don't put much stock in the blue-greening or coded clothing. I think the chances of it being coincidence are very high. But more importantly, I just don't find it to be a useful way to engage with fandom or understand Harry, Louis, and their relationship.

I don't think a coming out is going to happen anytime soon. Maybe in the very, very distant future when both their careers have calmed down. But even then... And frankly, if they are still together, I think that makes a coming out even less likely.

[contractterminvted]

            WEALTH IS CREATED                                 BY TWO THINGS: 

                                      COURAGE,                                             AND THE WILLINGNESS TO                                                                       HURT OTHERS.

 Indie, semi-selective Rafe Adler from Uncharted 4,                                                                   Written by Hel.        

                                                                                                  promo template by @gifsandthaangsformyblogs        

[forbidding-souda]

I saw ur research post and got inspired hehe

can we get some yasuhiro x m reader hcs where the reader just moved to japan and is still learning japanese?

Yasuhiro Hagakure with a boyfriend who recently moved to Japan and is still learning Japanese headcanons

Hi hib hi hi hi hi hello

I am once again using your request to self promo but omg guys look at my bestie poo poo kun! He has subscribed to my 5 dollar a month tip thing meaning all of his requests are first priority. And also he has my instagram and now he's my lil stink stink

-Mod Souda

❤ There is speaking as well as reading and writing. He puts a lot of effort into helping you with writing, and it works out since out of anybody, he's the best teacher: he has surprisingly neat handwriting.

❤ He might have a lot of like, those remember-cheat-sheet tunes and similarity spottings that people do to help remember the lines and such. Those can help for sure.

❤ You wording things wrong is so cute to him, and you can tell whenever you do it because a small smile with grow on his face.

❤ You learn a lot of casual words and expressions from being around him, too. You've even picked up the "-chi" thing he does.

❤ ^ Chronic casual Japanese.

❤ ^ You try to practice formal Japanese with him and he's like stop it feels weird.

❤ He can read you some of his clairvoyant books. He uses teaching you as an excuse for him to actually finish reading them, too. He both never tried to sit down and read as well as, not remembering he had the books in the first place.

❤ You learning was what drew him closer to you, he almost felt special that decided to learn the language, no matter how common it may be. Your everything was perfect.

❤ Hiro learning more English for you, too. His cute accent.

❤ After meeting you for the first time, you stuck in his head. You were the cute boy who had the foreign accent. It was as if you were straight out of a movie.

❤ Japan is a beautiful place! When you move to Japan and get together with him, your house is going to become his house too (whether you like it or not). He's wiggling his way into your living space.

❤ ^ Your house is going to suddenly have house plants and crystals on shelves and tables.

❤ Buys you flashcards even if they're elementary level stuff.

❤ The first date the two of you go on is quite a fun one, especially since your vocabulary wasn't wide enough to understand a lot of the casual words he uses.

❤ Sometimes you can get him into museums for you to practice reading, and plus, you learn about a lot things regarding history and art.

❤ ^ Hiro learns things, too, but he'll often start getting bored and, instead of looking at the artifacts and their descriptions, he'll start looking at you.

❤ He unironically recommends some manga's he knows are popular.

❤ The main problem you encounter when it comes to learning Japanese is trying to find something that isn't so rigid. Therefore, being with Hiro is a good thing, as he can just casually teach you random vocabulary, and he will do it over and over again, not minding if you don't remember some of it.

❤ ^ This includes walking around the kitchen with him pointing at things.

❤ He helps you with the complicated words! Some might be tongue-twisters for you.

❤ He will hold your hand to lead you around outside as he drags you from place to place, letting you read signs and menus, testing your knowledge in such a way that the challenges are easy, making you all the more happy when you get something right.

❤ Watching the cogs turn in your head is his favorite.

❤ Imagine a build-a-bear where he does the little voice box with a romantic Japanese phrase.

❤ Him breaking into the school to give you a tour just because you're new to Japan and he wants to show you his favorite places.

❤ His mom being impressed by your language skills and thinking the fact that you're new to Japan is soooo adorable. She might pinch your cheeks teasingly just because of how cute you are.

❤ ^ You can see how similar they talk (and it makes it much more contagious).

❤ She invites you over all the time, and the two of you make the trip over to her. It's a very good environment, the energy is a very kind one.

❤ "Which one is this?" He holds the paper in front of you, having written a character on it with sharpie. Parts of the character are a little unclear from the paper that was on top of it, which he also wrote on with sharpie.

❤ You suck in a breath, staring at it and running words through your head.

❤ He watches you with soft eyes.

❤ You say, "I don't know which one that is."

❤ "I thought so," he puts the paper down, "since I just made it up." The smile on his face stops you from groaning.

[ageofevermore]

Eighteen | T. Holland

Summary → you’re tired of feeling like the world silences you, but after an interview with sebastian and anthony, you start to wonder if maybe it’s your fault.

Warning(s) → mentions of anxiety, mentions of sexual harassment, mentions of inequality in gender roles, use of the word slut, fluff if you squint 

Word Count → 1.9k

Note → this is a heavier topic, one that might be personal to some. if you don’t think you can handle the subject matter, please don’t force yourself to. this is relatively watered down, but it doesn’t take a genius to see what’s not being said. the ending features boyfriend!tom consoling the reader, so it does end on a fluffy note, but don’t hold out for those few ending paragraphs. 

add yourself to my taglist 

It’s getting hotter in the interviews. A thin layer of sweat sparkles on your skin, and even though the air conditioning has been turned down multiple times, there are too many people in the room to feel any drastic differences. It’s unfortunate for you. Hot flashes are a lovely addition to your anxiety disorder, and press always sets your nerves ablaze. It doesn't matter what project you’re promoting, who you're partnered with, or what you're wearing-- you’re always hot. 

Your cheeks are flushed dangerously when the last interview before lunch is called for yourself, Sebastian, and Anthony. This is your first press tour as an adult. You joined the marvel franchise years ago, when being eighteen felt like the equivalent of turning thirty, and you weren’t blind to the changes of tone. People were harsher to you, more forward. If they weren’t shutting you up, they were hinting at something less then appropriate, usually something sexual. 

The next interview started with a short introduction to the media outlet, and your interviewer. He was middle aged, kind smile, salt and pepper hair. He asked for your names, then he told you his, and one by one he shook your hands. His grip on you was criminal, lasting longer than was comfortable. Sebastian and Anthony we’re oblivious to the few extra seconds of contact between you and him, but it made your skin crawl in a familiar discomfort. 

Your fingers curled into fists, heart high in your throat. The questions started out easy. They were mostly directed towards the boys, like always, but this time you couldn’t find yourself to be annoyed. You had dealt with handsy and sexually charged men before, but he set a fire beneath you. It wasn’t behavior you should tolerate, but being a woman in the industry, inappropriate touches and glances we’re easier ignored then dealt with. When you spoke up you caused drama, made headlines, attracted nasty social media comments that called you a whore. It was easier to just internalize. 

“Y/N.” 

You hummed, looking towards the call of your name. He was smiling sweetly at you again, a predatory glint in his eyes that put you on edge. You shifted your weight closer to Anothony unconsciously giving the hungry man your professional attention and a nod. 

He shuffles through his index cards, but his eyes don’t read the scripted questions his employers have supplied him with. It’s not often male interviews do their own research, usually they’re briefed by a colleague and handed a set of questions and topic point by a higher level employee, but this man doesn’t even read the card before he’s staring you down and opening his mouth. 

“You finally got the Stark suit update,” He says, motioning towards the promo poster that shows off your CGI suit in all of its edited glory. Although the actual costume is breathtaking, the computer effects give it an entirely different, more technologically charged, feel. 

“Yeah,” You nod, a forced smile on your lips as you try to ease the uncomfortable tension from your tone. “She’s finally--” 

He cuts you off before you can give him any explanation for the upgrade. He isn’t the first one to address your new wardrobe, but he’s the first one to leave you antsy and uncomfortable. Sebastian frowns when you’re cut off, but he doesn’t think much of it. He lets the man continue, though a professional sharpness pulls his grin into a scowl. 

“Were you able to wear undergarments underneath it? It’s tight, doesn’t leave much to the imagination. Was there ever a moment where you reflected how much your wardrobe has changed through the years?” He asks, a dirty grin on his lips. 

Sebastian and Anthony are shocked at the blunt, inappropriate construction of his question. The public eye knew nothing of your battles with body image, or health concerns that lead to surgery. Your mind was plagued with doubts and self-criticism, and his invasive, pervy question both infuriated you and broke you apart. 

You stutter to find an answer, heat overwhelming you. Your hand grips onto Anthony’s arm, and you can’t decide whether anger is what burns your skin or anxiety. Are you making a big deal of this? You don’t know. You feel like you have every right to feel violated and uncomfortable, but you’re a young woman in the entertainment industry, isn’t this the kind of ignorant commentary you signed up for? You don’t know anymore. You grew up with people always having an opinion on your appearance, sexualizing you as early as twelve. You’ve carried around pepper spray and  self-defense keychains long before you even had an understanding towards predatory men and sexual assault. You’ve been conditioned by the world and the media to carry on with your day, no matter the broken boundaries or disrespect. You’re tired of remaining silent, feeling like your less than your male counterparts. Women and men should hold no differing values in society, and yet you walk to your apartment with keys between your fingers and Tom doesn’t even lock his front door. 

“I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.” You choke out, voice hard and nowhere near the soft and frilly pitch it usually obtains. You’re livid, absolutely pissed to the point of a quivering cupids bow. You’re humiliated, and horrified. Your feelings are everywhere, but you remain as professional as you can. If you yell, try to defend yourself at all, you’ll be painted as a diva in every media outlet for the next week, subliminally inviting backlash and slut-shaming comments into your social media messages. If Sebastian and Anthony come to your defense, they’ll be sung high-praises. 

The double standards men and women are held to, especially in the industry, is infuriating. 

He stumbles out a response, but his time is already up. For the first time today, you’re thankful these interviews are only ten minutes. He leaves the room, shown out by security, and even then he still sends you a wink over his shoulder as if your glimmering eyes meant nothing. 

“Hey,” Sebastian's voice is soft, his hand on the small of your back. You flinch away from his contact, head heavy in memories you’d rather forget. 

“Sorry,” You mumble, voice trembling with tears that you refuse to let fall. You’ve already been humiliated, you don’t need to further paint yourself as some helpless teenage girl. “I’m sorry. I’m going to go find Tom.” 

Anthony and Sebastian nod tightly. They watch as you quiver in your heels, hands clenched into fists at your sides. They’re proud of the way you handled yourself, though still absolutely enraged that any adult would find it appropriate to address you like that, especially in a professional setting. 

You stumble into the dressing rooms, right into your boyfriend's chest. Your mind is racing, but the minute you attach yourself to him, you break down. Shy sobs break Tom’s heart. He holds the back of your head to his chest, other hand on the small of your back and wrapped around your waist as you cry. You’re trying to stay quiet, but the attention is already on you. Chris and Robert are worried, and Zoe’s trying to act like she hasn’t noticed, but they don’t all watch as you try to console yourself with your boyfriend's warmth. 

“What happened?” Tom’s voice is soft, trying to keep this a private moment. He tries to move the both of you back into a corner, but you panic and squeeze around his waist tighter. “Baby,” 

You and Tom have been dating for six months, and although you’ve shared with him stories of your traumatic experiences as a woman living in LA, he’s never seen anything upset you like this. 

“I’m such a slut.” Your words come out so shy and small, you aren’t even sure you can hear yourself. No matter how  many times you tell yourself that your makeup and clothes don’t give men permission to make passes or feel you up, it’s getting harder to believe that your verbal consent is as strong as your clothes. Maybe you are asking for it, and in a wave of nausea, disgusted with yourself, your arms leave Tom’s waist to pull at the bottom of your borrowed dress. 

You’ve been hit on in sweats before. In ball gowns and crop tops. Somebody’s even pushed themselves against you while you wore Tom’s hoodie, but you still convince yourself that it’s your fault. That you we’re asking for it. 

Tom’s jaw sets harshly into place, and he tilts your chin upwards to meet his eye. His brown stare is hard, only adding to your distress. Maybe he agrees. Maybe he’ll blame you for what just happened. He’s probably going to break up with you. Other guys just can’t keep their hands and eyes off of you. He doesn’t want a slut for a girlfriend. 

“What the fuck did you just say, Y/N?” His tone causes you to flinch, words bouncing off of the dressing room walls. Everyone flinches, hearing only his heavy response. You try to divert your attention, but Tom squeezes your jaw, forcing your eyes back on his. “Say it again.” 

“I’m such a slut.” You sniffle, submitting beneath his fiery glare. Tensions are high as you try not to break down again. Apart from Tom, everyone in the room has watched you grow up, never losing that shy and sweet sense of yourself. You’re an exuberant light, a brilliant scene partner, a rising star who has big things in store for the future. You are many things, but a slut, isn’t one of them. 

Tom looks behind you, glaring straight at Anthony and Sebastion who are both stone eyed and still. They’ve not calmed down any since leaving the production room, instead, it seems their anger has only risen. The sight of you so distraught churns their stomachs. 

“Some asshole tried to make a pass.” Sebastion said in short, words angry and delivered as such. 

Tom’s breath hitched, his arms tightening around you and pulling you closer to his chest. His chin digs into your crown, eyes pinches shut as his hot exhale feels heavy. 

“You aren’t a slut, Y/N.” He doesn’t leave any room for argument, but you try anyways. Tom has no patience for it, and so he tilts your head back and plants his lips against yours harshly and eagerly, desperate to show you love and intimacy. “You. Aren’t. A. Slut.”

You nod, ducking your head back down into his chest as you try to believe him-- try to remember that you never asked for hands around your waist, or cupping your boobs. Wolf whistles, or handshakes that turn into forced frontal hugs. You didn’t ask for any of the harassment, no matter the outfits you wore and what they revealed.  

Tom lowers his voice, whispers melting into your hair, “This isn’t your fault, baby. Please believe me. None of this, is your fault. It’s disgusting and inappropriate, and you don’t deserve to deal with any of it.” 

You sniffle. You can’t tell him you believe him, not yet. Not when your heart is so heavy. Maybe one day you’ll believe him, but that’s just not now. 

taglist (urls with a strike through won’t let my tag) →

@deionswannabegirl @killingbxys @mauvesdior @mischiefandi @dmonchld @waddlenut @tanakaslastbraincell @hollandsxheart @quacksonhehe @tothemoonandbackx3000 @stiles-o-dylan24 @tikapollak @tomthetease @spookybooisa @geminiparkers @teen--marvel @rogersparkerbarnes @sarcasticallywitty15

[proteesiukkonen]

I find myself musing about tumblr v. sporadic webcomic updates. I've discovered the best and least stressful way for me to share long-form comics is to just post them one scene or chapter at a time, instead of 1-2 pages per week etc. I think that way it's also easier to communicate if the comic isn't something I've made a long-lasting commitment to update regularly, so that's good.

But that way it also feels like, by the power of social media dashboard system and limited ability to lift posts permanently, the comic posts inevitably get pushed down and kind of get lost in time in a matter of days. Which is fair enough, but I feel like it also makes updating them a bit of an odd experience cause I feel like I would have to remind people the thing exists before dropping another installment.

Idk, comics are just a lot of work and I am, on some level, proud of them, but I'm also not into self-promoing them like my finances depend on them cause at this moment comics are, to me, very much just a hobby I have allowed myself to drop and pick up at my own will. Making a big thing about it doesn't suit that, and goes against my personality anyway.

I guess I would just want a way to kinda pin them somehow that they're easy to discover and access but I'm also not sure how best to do it because tumblr functions so differently based on where and how you use it. Pinned post only really works for when you're accessing the entire blog, custom pages and links seem to be only visible on select devices, how to even link shit and make sure it sticks cause everything's always a subject to just silently breaking. I don't really care enough to try to figure all that out just to be like honk honk here's a thing I made once or twice or thrice.

DeviantArt was really good for this kinda thing, tbh. You had your gallery and subfolders, easy to navigate and see. I kinda wish it would gain traction again or a new similar gallery site would spring up, but alas.

[alittlefrenchtree]

I would like to ask you about what do do you think about Timmy and Zendaya relationship, I think they are a great co-stars! They have a similar vibe and that gen z actittude but as always when you paired two Young actors people tend to see so much 🤣

If they look pretty close or not that close and I'm like "people chill out, there is no sense to make fake/hipotetical situations or feelings"

I personally see more friendly vibes for both of them, nothing else 🤷🏾‍♀️

Hello there, trouble maker 👀I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm only going to say nice things. Almost.

To be honest, when they've arrived in Venice, I thought they barely knew each other. I thought they look like friendly co-workers with a lot of respect and admiration towards each others but best friend forever? not so much. I'm not sure I disagree with my past self just yet but I admit they've installed a cool thing between them for the short amount of time we saw them together.

For the large part of the promo they did together in Italy and France, I mostly agree with you : similar vibes and people who found complicity very easily. It might be shoved down our throats a little bit too much to my taste and a bit amplified for promo but the friendly bond is visible and I believe that the more they'll spend time together (hopefully with more Dune movies), the more their friendship will grow. But so far, I'm not really that interested by their joined content. Maybe it's because their vibes are too similar and it's usually not the kind of relationship I'm attracted to? Or because interviewers tend to lead them in conversations that aren't that interesting for me? I don't know but most of it isn't really for me, I think.

Still, I find it funny how there was a lot of screaming going on for Lily-Rose's presence on The King tour and yet Zendaya is in the exact same position for the Dune and suddenly there are not so many people to notice that someone is being pushed for promo not based on their role but on the attention the name will brought. But that's another whole discussion to have, isn't it? 😁

And again, it's obviously a good idea to push Zendaya for the attention she brings. It's more like I disagree on a philosophical level to what we should do in terms of promotion. I think when you're targeting an audience who isn't like literal kids of 8 years olds, it might be a good idea to consider them more like an adult audience than a teenage audience (not on explicit content obviously, they see enough on their own sadly, but just in terms on intellect and curiosity). Young people have proven on many occasions that, when they aren't treated like dumber than they are, they show interest to a lot of things. Like, I bet many people are only watching the content with Timothée and/or Zendaya, and instead or keeping them in this "young people for young people" bubble, it could be cool to pair Timothée with Rebecca or Zendaya with Javier or whatever and encourage this young audience to a message that is something more than just "look at how beautiful these two people are together". It might work less in terms of numbers but it would be a good thing to do, you know? But who cares about good when money exists, right? Sorry, sorry, I digress again.

And I might live under a rock (I do, I follow very little people of the fandom here and only a couple of updates accounts on others platforms and barely look at comments -- to preserve my sanity mostly), but I haven't noticed that much people seeing more than friendship between them. But for those who do, like you said it's something that is doomed to happen between young and beautiful people and it's not that important. Ship and let ship is still a good rule to live by 😘

[contractterminvted]

~ tag dump ~