#You must get cool

[tokki1234]

San Antonio Texas

[inkskinned]

even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.

[artchixs]

girl loser arc continues <3

[moeblob]

A lil guy !

[icewindandboringhorror]

I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

[sporesgalaxy]

The way Dungeon Meshi does gender makes me insane. It’s stated over and over that Falin and Laios really are more similar than anyone is looking for- Laios directly states as much at one point, Marcille mentions it when Falin wakes up the first time and starts bemoaning not eating any monsters, the magic mirror story even has fem!Toshiro crushing on Laios- but Laios is so protective of his little sister. Laios leaves home to start making a life he can one day share with her. And she leaves magic school because he has failed, and failed so hard that she’s worried that she might never see him again if she lets him leave without her. He wants to protect her from the way the world treats him, but he does not or does not want to understand the terrible truth- the world will never treat her as harshly as it does him, because she is a pretty ‘quirky’ girl and he is a big autistic man. Falin is happy, doing well in her own sphere, making a single friend (because she is still autistic, and has struggles of her own, even if they’re a different kind), but Laios still feels a need to protect her because his experience of this world has been nothing but cold shoulders and distrust all the way down. This story makes me want to sprint into the river. Laios and Falin are the best characters of all time.

Ouhhhhh I dont have time to reread dungeon meshi to give you good sources but based on my doodoo memory and vibes therein: I have to disagree that Falin was necessarily doing "well," and I especially disagree that the tragedy here is that Laios was doing something unnecessary by trying to make a place in the world for him and Falin.

Falin gets along seemingly ok in the world but it's because she's agreeable to a fault .

What's so interesting to me about the Touden siblings is the different ways they've learned to deal with being The Odd Man Out. Laios set out to try and forcefully carve out a PLACE for him and Falin in the world, where they could both openly and unabashedly be themselves.....Falin stayed behind, and learned how to hide the things that made her stick out too much, and how to appease people on the verge of rejecting her and Laios.

That can be functional, but it isn't good. It isn't happiness. It hurts in a million tiny ways every single day, to hide yourself out of fear of rejection like that.

At school, Falin must have spent a lot of time alone before she befriended Marcille, since Falin was familiar enough with the surrounding wilderness that she knew where that small Dungeon opening was. She sought out what happiness she could by following her unusual passions in more private ways, where no one would judge her for it. Falin didn't expect anyone NOT to judge her for her "weirdness" before she met Marcille, so Falin didn't even try to connect with anyone before Marcille at a level more personal than "classmate." That's not doing well. That's not living.

This kind of self-isolation is a coping mechanism for neurodivergence that functions for a while, but it eats away at you. Falin considered marrying Toshiro despite not loving him, essentially because it seemed like the normal thing to do and she didn't think she'd get another chance to be married at all. What if she had gone through with that, or something similar by the same reasoning? Laios lived in a state of being rejected over and over, which obviously hurts like hell. In contrast, Falin was willing to live a life she never wanted just to avoid total rejection. That can be incredibly painful too, in its own way.

Falin and Laios were BOTH tragically fighting doomed battles to find a place for themselves in the world during the time they were separated. Working together, supporting each other, they're able to do a lot more. Cries.

[anonymouscheeses]

I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.

[ghostingfee]

so wanting is a recurring motif/theme in hatchetfield musicals right. with What Do You Want Paul in tgwdlm (used to convey Paul's ambivalence) and What Tim Wants in black Friday (and the whole consumerism message).

so I'm happy to see NPMD continues this trend with this lyric in The Summoning

whatever we want we want we want / whatever we want we get / whatever you want you want you want / forever puts you in debt

[canisalbus]

Hi hello, I was struggling with my Spooktober challenge, but wanted to draw something today, so I ended up with this:

He is Very Shape, so I had to lmao (I don't draw animals much, so it was a bit tricky, but hope it came out okay!)

Also, terkkuja toiselta suomalaiselta, meikäläisiin törmää niin harvoin :D

.

[feelingtheaster99]

Adaine, Kristen, Fig, AND Fabian’s birthday all happened when they were away fighting The Night Yorb 😭

[nonomives]

has vampire!wally ever turned anyone

Tw: Spoopy dark

Yyyeaps

Hundreds--erm-- Thousands probably. It's something he's not proud of really.

Vampires are basically the zombies in this au, but they get power ups because of course they do.

You become a vampire by getting their blood in your system in one way or the other lol (ik its like soo demon slayer but like pls its a good concept okeh--) kinda like rabies but with extra steps. Those who got blood from Wally, himself, are completely feral. If someone gets blood from those feral vampires then they're a weaker and less insane vampire. Basically the farther from the source (Wally) the less potent.

At present, there's lesser feral vampires, after being hunted down and Wally not turning new peeps into vampires. Feral vampires are still pretty dangerous tho, due to the unpredictability.

There are some special cases though where vampires that were once feral and eventually managed to become more sane, so theres that. Theyre pretty rare though. It's a little idea inspired by a chat I had with @ketho484 about dhampirs :DD

[ganondoodle]

kind of expected that the ability breakdown wouldnt get that much traction (especially on twitter bc if it doesnt do well in the first few hours it might as well be dead) but what i didnt need to wake up to was looking at my twitter notifications and thinking there was a long comment on it at first but then i read it and it turned out to be some guy having dug up one of my old totk tweets where i talked about how zelda was treated-

and if a quote retweet with a thread attached already starts with "this entitled brat didnt understand that zelda was being a history nerd by being in the past and getting to experience it herself" with two screenshots attached of the end of totk with zelda staring at the cam all uwu (which has ??? to do with their point??) i dont even want to know what else was in that thread

if thats how the majority of the fandom is then im even less surprised that nintendy doesnt even have to try to write anything good :I

ah yes, i am a game nerd, and by putting me in a game where i stand around doing puppy dog eyes while being shoved around by NPCs is me being a game nerd OBVIOSULY

[scramblecat]

Something I really love about Nerdy Prudes Must Die is how it completely subverts the ‘uncool kid joins the popular kids’ trope.

Typically with a story that has a similar premise (a friend or a love interest in a higher place on the school hierarchy from the ‘uncool’ character) I feel like a lot of the time we see the same thing happen over and over: the uncool kid finds a place in the popular kids, and starts behaving like them, treating everybody they used to hang out with as below them. If it’s ‘resolved,’ it’s by the main character realizing the popular kids are actually shitty people that they don’t want to hang out with. Even if at the end they go back to the uncool kids, that pipeline and change still happens, and it’s central to the plot.

And that’s certainly what I thought we were going to see in Nerdy Prudes. After Pete’s phone call with Steph (‘just these two fuckin’ nerds who won’t leave me alone!’), I was genuinely, actually starting to dread seeing Pete go through that change and start to treat Richie and Ruth like shit. I can even go so far to say I was expecting him to, given his newfound boost of confidence and thinking he’s impervious to even Max Jägerman!

But Nerdy Prudes doesn’t do that at ALL.

Pete never rises to the status of ‘popular kid’. Instead, Steph is the one to join the other group.

It’s clear that she’s certainly reluctant to do so— she’s been conditioned by the school environment and her popular kid status to think these kids are losers and Weird and uncomfortable to be around. But she’s also reluctant to actually be a shitty person to them, especially after she starts falling for Pete.

Speaking of Pete, he really is her link into the group, just like the role of ‘popular kid’ usually is played in this genre of storyline. But it’s handled a lot differently, and the way it is fits so well into the plot.

The only reason that Steph is willing to join the group of nerds in the first place is, of course, to get revenge on Max. But at the start of the musical, it’s clear that she doesn’t even know the magnitude of what Max does to the nerds— she straight up asks Pete who he’s running from right before Literal Monster, for Pete’s sake (ha do you see what I did there—). I don’t think she’d have to ask if she knew how much of a monster Max really was. Seeing what he did to Pete was what snapped her into that realization of how fucked up Max’s behavior is (and that nobody is going to punish him for it), which is why she joins the group.

‘But Scramble where’s your Evidence that just sounds like a theory?’

Bear with me here while I talk about Bully the Bully.

Bully the Bully (and the scene prior) is actually the single greatest indicator of how Steph’s opinion of the nerds shifts. At first, she looks and sounds like she absolutely does not want to be there. She takes a place standing FAR away from the group—

— and retorts back at things they’re saying multiple times, insulting them a little, and just generally looking down on them. (‘God, you guys are nerds.’).

She comments on how she thinks the things the nerds are doing are weird (such as the way Grace spins around) and seems very resistant to participating. She still looks down on most of them, and she doesn’t even try to hide it.

But as the song goes on, she starts getting a little more into it. Grace swings her into the group, and she starts participating just a little, joining in on the lineup, laughing a little. And while she doesn’t contribute her own solo line on the rest of the ‘fealty, a duty’ bit like everybody else does, she joins in on Pete’s part once she sees that he’s participating, too. And she’s starting to smile a little!

She starts joining in on the antics a little more after that, and this time on her own! She’s genuinely having fun!! All of a sudden she’s alert and a little more enthusiastic about this, starting to match the energy of the nerds, because she’s realizing that it isn’t so bad after all, and actually that they’re fun to be around!

I really like this sequence here— she’s fully involved at this point, but is thrown off when she sees the other nerds all of a sudden improvising with the moves —

—And tries to come up with one of her own the next time around.

Even if she doesn’t get one in, it’s still clear that she wants to be a part of it, too.

My favorite part however is when she joins in on the ‘bean school’ bit, where she seems a little not sure of what they’re doing & hesitant to do it, but tries to go along with it nonetheless, just like the improv poses— no matter how odd and random it seems to her at first.

It’s a sharp contrast to how she’d been at the start of the song, separated from the group and looking down on them for doing these weird little things. But by the end, she’s realizing how enjoyable this group really is! She’s dancing around with them, fully and eagerly joining in on what they’re doing, having fun just being goofy and weird! And she doesn’t see it as a bad thing anymore!

(Okay Scramble note: while making this gif I noticed that Steph is actually the first to initiate the snapping at the end WAAAA… I love the little details in this show. reminder to me to make a post compiling some of my favorites because there are so many I’ve noticed on my rewatches...)

The transition of Steph’s attitude toward the nerds is absolutely delightful. There’s none of that ‘returning to your own position in the heirarchy’ stuff, either. She’s made herself comfortable as a part of the gang, and she enjoys it!

While Steph is the biggest and most relevant, there is actually another (short-lived) example of this— with Max Jägerman, right before his death.

Max is the antagonist of the show. Hell, there’s an entire song at the beginning of the musical dedicated to establishing how much of a terrifying monster he is, and how all the nerds fear him. He even says these things with his own mouth, and he says them with glee. He’s proud to be a bully that people fear, he’s proud that people cower down around him, and he’s absolutely not afraid to be horrible toward those he deems below him.

But after Max is told that the nerds put this together purely to scare him— and that he deserves it— his demeanor towards the nerds changes ENTIRELY. All of a sudden, he’s not the literal monster that he’s explicitly been shown to be up until this point. I’m not saying that ‘he was like this all along’ or whatever— he very much does not regret anything he’s done, and does not regret the person he is, and still is that person. But for a single moment, he sheds the god complex, and for the first time, treats the nerds like equals— and not even in the way Kyle and Jason are ‘equals’.

He’s genuinely excited and happy about all this! He expresses how he really liked how they went about this, and compliments Ruth!

And he’s not bringing them up to his level, either— he is meeting them where they’re at. Similarly to Steph, he’s starting to be okay with some of the aspects of how the nerds behave, and even finding it fun in his own way. Even if the intent was to scare him, he likes the way they executed it, and takes it as something they did to make him happy. Obviously he never gets to have a chance at adjusting to it like Steph did, but hey, I’m counting it as a small example regardless!

(And this all is not to discount the fact that he’d very proudly done— and continued to do— fucked up things. he’s.. not a decent person regardless of this scene AJDHAHRHA im not exactly a max redemption arc truther. but that just kind of showed that he had the Potential to adjust. and then he got killed and turned evil again </3)

Anyway. Really delightful how they executed this trope subversion, and I’m so happy that they did. Not only does it help to emphasize that these characters care about each other/are genuine to each other (especially in the case of Steph and Pete, and Pete and the other nerds) but it really feels a lot neater and nicer to watch than it would’ve been if they’d gone the route with the trope as it’s usually played!

I am notoriously terrible at figuring out how to word a conclusion, so have another little gif and compare it to the first image in the post :]

[mamawasatesttube]

superboy (1994) #84

anywhoozies. throwback to that time kon destroyed every single gun in LA with a single ttk surge

[blueskiesandstarrynights]

Ruth and Richie quote vines all the time and think they're the coolest. It's driving Pete slightly insane.

[stormyoceans]

LINE READING SO DEVASTATING I NEED TO DIE ABOUT IT