#Nobody naw give you no break

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @iamburdened - thanks so much!! ♡

Daryl Dixon x she/her!reader

spoilers: set in season 3, references to previous locations

Soft Spot For Ya

Rounding the corner to the only available cell in the block, you throw your bag onto the top bunk.

“Oh, I am totally taking the top bunk, you can kiss my sugar coated ass!” You cheer, looking over your shoulder at Daryl as you climb up the ladder to the second bunk. Your best friend chuckles and shakes his head, dumping his bag on the second bunk.

“Back in a room with you again, as if the end o’ the world couldnt get any worse!” Daryl teases as he sits down on the bunk beneath you.

Gasping, you lean over your bunk to smack him in the head with a pillow.

“Hey, dont be an ass! I am your absolute favourite roommate!”

Daryl rolls his eyes. “Sure ya are.”

You lie back on your bunk with your arms behind your head, smiling up at the ceiling. “If you actually disliked me, Im sure you would’ve kicked me out of your tent, or off of your part of the farm - all this evidence is against you mister, you sure you wanna take this case to court?”

Daryl sighs in defeat. “Alright alright, I get it, I got a soft spot for ya.”

This was a statement that Daryl realised to be true the day he met you. Back at the quarry, while Daryl was out on a hunt, he found you wandering the woods all on your own. You had no weapons and barely any food or water in your bag. When he asked you how you’d made it that far, you smiled bigger than he’d seen anyone smile since the world changed, and you said “Just kept running!”

He led you back to the camp, and as soon as the two of you cleared the trees, Shane dropped whatever was in his hands and marched over, shaking his head.

“Naw, we dont jus’ let anyone stay here.”

Naturally, you had an immediate disliking to Shane, considering he barely glanced at you, let alone introduced himself. Your smile fell from your face, and you stayed quiet, not out of fear, but just to observe the situation for a little longer to figure out the dynamic of this group.

Daryl’s gestures to you. “I’ll take full responsibility for ‘er. She was out there completely by herself, she aint got nobody, ya shouldnt turn her away man.”

You smiled kindly at Daryl to thank him in a way that wouldnt disturb the conversation, and he nodded back at you in reply. Shane’s next words tore your smile from your face yet again.

“Oh, and I ‘spose her life’s been saved by some piece of shit redneck?” He seethed, taking a step closer to Daryl. It fascinated you that nobody else in the group tried to prevent this. Clearly Shane’s reign of aggression had everyone under submission, except for Daryl, and then, you.

You frowned, bravely standing slightly in front of Daryl. “Hey! Dont talk to him like that!”

Shane shook his head at you, laughing without humour. “Oh, naw, see you dont get to speak to me, you aint one of us!”

You throw your arms in the air, making big gestures as you let him have a piece of your mind. “I dont give a flying fuck if you consider me as part of your group, the fact is I’ve been here two whole minutes and in that time all you’ve done is act like an ass, and judging by the faces of everyone ‘round here, you make a habit of that, and that’s not okay! The world going to shit doesnt give you the right to think you own it, asshat. And if you could refrain from insulting Daryl - who has a name, in case all the hot air in your head made you forget - I’ll refrain from breaking your goddamn nose.”

The quarry fell silent, Daryl’s eyes had been locked on you from the moment you stepped out in front of him, and he was utterly hypnotised by you. Nobody had ever defended him like that.

Very slowly, Dale started to clap for you, then T-Dog and Glenn joined in.

Lori, Carol, Andrea and Any couldnt help smiling and laughing, a mixture of shock and of ‘serves him right’.

Shane was scowling at you. Dale raised his hand.

“I, for one, would like to vouch for this girl’s permanent residence!” He offered, throwing you a kind smile, which you gladly returned. “Who’s with me?” Dale called, and within a few seconds, everyone else in the group had an arm in the air.

Daryl walked to stand beside you, lifting his arm in the air to cast his vote before swinging it around your shoulders.

“Looks like yer outnumbered, go cry about it.” Daryl said to Shane childishly, making everyone laugh as he walked you back to his tent.

Ever since, the two of you have been inseparable. When Rick found the group, he actually assumed that you and Daryl had been dating since before the apocalypse, he was truly shocked to find out that you’d only known each other a couple of months, and you werent dating. You kept your word with Shane, and ended up breaking his nose on the farm after he made the mistake of insulting Daryl again. Considering how protective you got of Daryl, you were intending to break more than Shane’s nose, but you were pulled off him by none other Daryl Dixon himself, who took you away to calm you down and bandage your knuckles, while Rick calmed down Shane. Thankfully, it wasnt long before Shane was dead, and with him went the usual cause for your anger.

Now, things between you and Daryl are complicated in a way that is complicated to everyone except the two of you.

“Hey, Daryl?” You call down to him from your bunk after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Yeah?” Daryl replies, curious as to what random thought has popped into your head all of a sudden.

“You think now we’ve got a more solid place to stay, you’re gonna take me out to dinner?” You ask him, and Daryl is silent, waiting for something that he cant put words to. After a few lengthy seconds, you burst out laughing.

Daryl scoffs and pushes himself up to stand away from his bunk. “An’ ya call me an ass!”

You roll over onto your stomach you’re laughing so hard, while Daryl shakes his head and searches through his bag. He’s about to walk out of the cell, but you stop him.

“Hey! Where’d ya think you’re going?” You question.

“Anywhere away from you!” Daryl retorts sassily, turning around to look at you from the cell doorway.

You laugh, using your hand to beckon him back over, and he rolls his eyes but strolls back over to you. Daryl stands at your bunk, and you grab the back of his head to pull him close to you, kissing his forehead from your place on the top bunk.

Beaming at Daryl, you let go of him, and he scoffs, blushing and shaking his head.

“Love yooouuuu!” You call as he shuffles out of the cell.

“Yeah, whatever!” Daryl yells back, and you fall back onto your bed in fits of laughter again.

Nobody else could understand what it was between you and Daryl, but they didnt need to. You didnt need to put a name to it, a name makes it too simple, there’s no word to describe the adoration you two have for each other. The world has moved past the need for simplistic relationship titles. All that matters is that you are each other’s best friends, and each other’s sources of comfort, strength, and love. Even if nobody else understood your relationship, they couldnt deny that those things were true in everything you did for each other.

[candyredmusings]

Bioshock Splicer Starters

Assortment of dialogue taken from the a from two types of Splicers in the first Bioshock game; Baby Jane and the Breadwinner

Other Bioshock Splicer starters: TBA [Dr. Grossman & Lady Smith] [Pigskin & Rosebud] [Toasty & Waders]

Baby Jane

Get away from my face! Not on my face!"

"Oh! Oh, God damn it!"

"Look at yourself! And you would do it too!"

"Talentless?! BORING?!"

"You don't deserve this!"

"I'm a star, not you!"

"You're jealous, jealous!"

"Why did you cut me?! Why?!"

"You did this to me! You!"

"I deserve it, you fuck!"

"Give me the part, you bastard!"

"Off. My. Stage! GET OFF!"

"Stop ogling me!"

"You're making me lose my place! STOP IT!"

"No, it's not perfect, AGAIN!"

"He's standing in the wrong place!"

"Get your FAT. HANDS. AWAY FROM ME!"

"Just say something, goddammit!"

"What's that? Is it him?!"

"I smell something nasty."

"Is that someone naughty?"

"Honey? Is that you…?"

"I heard that!"

"It hurts, it hurts…"

"Why did you…?"

"I'm sorry… We can do it together!"

"DARLING! I'M HOME EARLY!"

"I don't- I don't wanna- I don't wanna hear this… I- [Whimpering] I don't want to hear this…"

"Pretend you're not interested. They like that."

"Have it your way, you sleaze!"

"Well, that was good drama."

"Get a girl all bothered… for NOTHIN'!"

"That gets a girl's blood flowing."

"I'll be better next time! Please?! Don't go!"

"When we do meet, it's gonna be so nasty!"

"He's gone! They always leave…"

"When I murder you I'm gonna put your body in a dress!"

"My god, there's so much blood!"

"Aw, Jesus, what did you do to me?!"

"I'm NOT. DEALING WITH THIS!"

"No… No No No. Wha- What's- What's that? Oh, no no, no…"

"In the theater, a woman gets used to attention."

"She was up for the part as well, but then they found her in a salt pond."

"I was gonna be famous… now look at this dump!"

"Who needs to make it on Broadway? When you can make it here."

"What's the matter with me…? I'm pretty enough!"

"Hey fella'! Don't 'cha wanna take a walk with me?"

"Come on, baby! You told me you was gonna take care of me! Were you lying…?"

"I used to be beautiful. What happened to me?!"

"Why are you making this so hard for me?!"

"C'mere and say that to my face, you slimey bastard!"

"You wanna play with me?"

"Hello? Did you come to talk to me?"

"I can be nice if I want to…"

"Next time, work on your timing."

"Oh, and we were just getting to the best bit!"

"Tell me you love me! Go on, say it!"

"Just pretend, you imbecile!"

"You ruined me!"

"No one touches me! No one!"

"You won't touch me again!"

"Someone shou- should do this for me, someone should be doing this for me!"

Breadwinner

"Get out of my territory!"

"Amateur! Fuckin' amateur!"

"I'm top dog, you shit!"

"GET OUTA MY FUCKIN' OFFICE!"

"You come to my town?! To MY TOWN?!"

"You're a nobody! Nobody!"

"Who the hell is that?"

"Yeah? Well, you're fired! Ya got that?"

"I was right, I tell ya. I was right, god damn it."

"Come on. Gimme a break!"

"Come on. Just let me explain, will ya?"

 "I'm too busy for this shit."

"Waste of my goddamn time."

"This isn't makin' me time OR money!"

"Goddammit, I'm bleeding!"

"Ahh. Ahh yeah, finally some service! Woo!"

"What happened to this thing?"

"Ha, it's my lucky day!"

"She should not have come here."

"Ah, a man can start a business down here, yeah. Now now, it's- it's not too late. I'll get to it."

"It's just a bad quarter. Naw, that's all. Yeah, market'll come back, huh? Yeah! Everything'll be fine. Yeah, it'll all be fine… Augh."

"I just gotta wait out the down cycle. I'm a success… I'm a fuckin' success!"

"I ain't afraid of failure… cause I ain'ts gonna fail!"

"These assholes don't get it. I'm a winner!"

"Came here to get rich… ain't gonna leave 'till I do!"

"Came down here with a dream… That dream's gonna happen."

"Aw, come on… they're gonna kill me if I lose you!"

"That's it? We're done?"

"You think that I'm dumb? Sure, sure, why not? You keep on thinkin' that."

"You think I wouldn't notice if you just waltzed in here? Huh?"

"I'll tell you what: I'll pay you to stay alive next time. How's that for a deal, you shit head."

"I earned this! Me!"

"You give it to me, you hear?"

"Just open your mouth."

"Ah, whose fault is this?"

"Look at this dump! Nothing left but nothing!"

[miss-nob0dy]

hey everyone……… funny seeing you here 😀😀 I am SO SORRY for disappearing??? school got cray cray but ITS SUMMER BREAK AND IM BACK SO HIT ME UP WITH REQUESTS 🗣️🗣️🗣️ nobody requested this but I wanted to make a comeback. And it’s EXTRA long for my Rodolfo lovers out there (me) and also to make up for my disappearance.

——

General Headcanons for Rudy

Rodolfo Parra

He reminds me of Loving Machine by TV Girl, like it’s just how it sounds that reminds me of him.

Definitely affectionate; only shows it behind the curtains though.

PDA makes him a lil shy, be careful.

He seems like a very organized and clean person, he would appreciate it if you were somewhat the same.

At the same time, he looks like he would be in a “opposites attract” situation.

He’s the calm, reserved, and somewhat quiet person in the relationship. You? Oh girlllllll-

You would probably be the more loud, outgoing, and (hopefully) confident person. Someone pokes fun at him and he doesn’t like it? Oh naw watch out 💀💀.

“He asked for no pickles,” type thing.

DEFINITELY smells good AUGHHH.

Would probably smell like the rain, or a fresh cologne.

Has THE SOFTEST SKIN EVER even with the scars he has.

Likes it when you play with his hair, just twirl his curls with your fingers and he’s melting right there in your arms.

Some days, he’s either SUPER cold or SUPER warm. No in-between.

“Rudy, tus manos están tan frías…” (Rudy, your hands are so cold…)

“Mejor me los puedes calentar con tus manos.” (Maybe you can warm them up with your hands.)

Bro is smoooooth with his flirting, he leaves you a blushing mess.

Tbh, he looks faded most of the time. It leaves you wondering if he probably smoked weed beforehand.

“Cariño, you look high.”

“Just tired.”

On the topic of tiredness, he looks like he needs a well-deserved nap.

Likes it when you’re in his arms, but DIES when he’s in yours instead.

Definitely falls asleep in a matter of seconds when he’s just cuddled up in your arms. It’s only better if you got some muscly ones.

Call him “Guapo,” or “Papi,” bro loses it.

Loves it when you praise him or say words of affirmation. He missed out on those when he was little, so he’s in need of some love.

Kinda likes it when you’re the dominant one…

He’s a pretty introverted man in my eyes, so you kinda have to be the one to make the first move.

At first, Rudy is nervous to be physical just in case he makes you uncomfortable. So make sure you show him it’s okay to give you a little kiss.

Dies for forehead or cheek kisses.

IS THE CUTEST THING ALIVE IN THE MORNING.

Let me set the scene. Whenever it’s the morning, he wakes up with a cute bedhead and you find out why you were cold for most of the night.

You let out a small laugh as you saw the scene right beside yourself. Rudy’s hair was slightly messy and disheveled, appearing as if he just came out of the trenches. Although, it was endearingly cute. It was rare you got to see him out of his collected, reticent shell, and rather in this cute and–just a little–meek state. However, you noticed how he was hogging almost the entire blanket up.

At the sound of your voice, he blinked his eyes open. He raised his eyebrows in an amused way, and turned his body around, facing away from you.

“No, Rudy-” And there went the quarter of the blanket you had. Now you were left with nothing, staring at the pile he had on him.

You lightly smacked his back, and he made a small grunt. “E, give me back my part of the blanket.”

Grabbing his shoulder, you turned him around. You slipped under the covers while you stuck close to him, almost being able to hear his heartbeat.

Shifting your gaze towards his, you brushed away a few strands of his hair away from his forehead, and planted a small kiss against it.

“You look cute in the morning.” You muttered with a small smile.

He scoffed playfully, hiding his face into the pillow. It’s so painfully obvious that he’s not used to it yet. And probably never will be.

Poor lil meow meow also gets nightmares :((. He’ll need a lot of comfort after he wakes up from one.

Won’t admit it, but loves it when you trace the scars he gets from his job.

I feel like he enjoys baking and cooking, and probably makes BANGER tamales. Tamales are probably his favorite food. OR OR mole.

Has a childhood plushie that he (eventually) shows you.

Loves floral and clean perfumes. Especially if it’s strong enough to leave a lasting scent on something or in a certain area.

Let me tell you when bro has THE BIGGEST ASS EVER???

And the way he walks doesn’t make it any better yo 😭😭. If you’re in a relationship with him, smack dat ass at least once cause GYAAAAT

Only in private though, never in public cause he will blushhhhh ooo

If you slap his butt, he gives you his signature ‘are-you-serious’ look.

“Did you just slap my ass?”

“Yeah, what about it? Not my fault you walking around with that truckload back there.”

Although he does let out a small chuckle whenever you do. It’s like an inside joke between the two of you.

Arguments with him are like, wowwww.

Since he’s more thought out, he would be the one to step back and take a moment. He hates arguing cause I imagine that he grew up with parents that argue almost everyday (real Rudy, so real.)

So even when it feels like to you that he’s probably pushing the problem away, he just doesn’t want the arguing to escalate to anything more hurtful.

When he comes back, he tries to talk it out with you. And to make up for it, he gives all of his attention towards you. Just make sure to reassure him that you would never actually hate him for arguing.

He’s literally just too cute to hate or not fall in love with.

In the end? 10/10, would smack his butt again.

[leaderpinhead]

Floyd - Date Break

Prompt: Break

“I think we should break up.” 

Floyd hummed and glanced up from the carrots he’d been chopping out of boredom. Shrimpy stood right at his elbow. Her tomatoes looked more like soup than the diced shape Azul had demanded. He could tell she was serious because of the deep crease between her eyebrows. 

Floyd jabbed the crease with the tip of his finger. “Naw. I’m good.” 

Shrimpy huffed, but Floyd had already turned back to chopping carrots. “I’m being serious! I don’t think this is working out at all.” 

“I don’t have a problem with it.” 

“We shouldn’t be tied down to one another if we want to see other people.” 

“I don’t wanna see nobody else.” 

“And what if I want to see other people?” 

Floyd huffed. His knife came down harder on the cutting board. “This is about Sea Snake, isn’t it? It’s not my fault he’s so slow. He shoulda asked you out before I did if he wants to pout about it.” 

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Jamil!” Another knife came down onto his cutting board, bisecting a whole carrot. Floyd scowled at the red tomato juice on his carrots now. He turned his glare on Shrimpy, but she just glared back up at him. “This isn’t fair to you either. What if you found someone else you wanted to date?” 

Floyd rolled his eyes. He clicked his knife against hers. “Why would I be interested in anybody else? Everyone on campus is boring.” 

“You could meet someone down in the town.” 

“Also boring.” 

“There could be a cute mermaid back home just waiting for you.” 

The thought of any of the mermaids back in the Coral Sea wanting to date him made him snicker. Shrimpy had no idea how those girls were. They were way too boring and prissy to be any fun. They squealed like annoying seagulls when they saw his shadow. 

Now, if he could find a shark mer that might be a different story. Even another squishy cephalopod like Azul would be more preferable. At least then he’d have some fun when he went in for a squeeze. 

Shrimpy chopped done on another one of his carrots. Little tomato seeds flicked onto his cutting board. Floyd’s humor disappeared. “You better watch it, Shrimpy, or the next squeeze I give you won’t be so easy to slip out of.” 

“Your grumpy moods don’t scare me.” 

“I’ll just give you something to be scared of then.” 

Shrimpy stabbed her knife into one of his carrots. Floyd had her flung over his shoulder before she even realized what was happening. A delayed squeal followed them as he stomped across the Mostro Lounge’s kitchen. He flung open the two-way swinging door and ignored the startled looks shot in their direction. 

He scowled when Jade popped up in front of him just as he was about to exit the Mostro Lounge. “Move it.” 

Jade simply grinned. “Now, Floyd. You know better than to bring raw shellfish into the dining room.” 

Shrimpy’s offended “Hey!” was cut off by a sudden squeal when Floyd shifted her on his shoulder. “Shrimpy’s trying to break up with me, so I’m gonna go toss her in a fish tank.” 

A sharp knuckle dug into his hip bone. “Don’t you dare!” 

Jade chuckled. “I doubt Azul will be very happy to have a shrimp in the tanks.” 

“So?” Floyd yawned and ignored Shrimpy snapping the suspender strap of his uniform. “I don’t care what Azul thinks.” 

Jade hummed. He leaned to the side to look around Floyd. “I was under the impression you had only asked the prefect on one date.” 

“Yeah,” Floyd answered. He was getting really bored, really fast. “And she stood me up.” 

“I was kidnapped.” Shrimpy snapped his suspenders again. He jostled her until she squealed. “Just like I’m being kidnapped now!” 

“So,” Jade said, ignoring the wiggling Shrimpy on Floyd’s shoulder, “technically, you can’t have a breakup without having actually dated, correct?” 

Floyd frowned, not liking the smarmy tone Jade had. Jade widely smiled. Shrimpy wiggled on his shoulder. 

Floyd suddenly grinned to match Jade’s smile. “You’re totally right! Shrimpy you can’t break up with me ‘cause we never went on a date.” Floyd patted the back of her thigh, earning a harder punch to his hip. “We’re gonna go on one now so we can breakup!” 

Jade snickered into his knuckles. “Oh? And where will this date take place?” 

“In the fish tank!” 

Shrimpy shouted some kind of protest, but Floyd completely ignored her. He left Jade snickering in front of the Mostro Lounge and ambled through the dorm to the large tank big enough for him and Jade to swim around in if they wanted to. She wiggled, huffed, and cursed the whole way, but Floyd’s grip was stronger than her wiggling. He giggled as he climbed the steps connected to the open top of the tank for easy access for feeding the fish. “In you go Shrimpy~.” 

Floyd threw her into the tank. Or he would have had she not grabbed him by the top of his pants. Floyd wasn’t able to keep his balance with her yanking on him and went tumbling into the tank with her. 

Azul was not happy when he found them splashing around the tank later, but Shrimpy didn’t bring up the whole “breaking up” thing again. 

[tincanton]

my thoughts on jrwi ep 110 :DD

- THEY FUCKING EXPLODED????

- NOT THE FUCKING STICK FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

- LET THEM HAVE THE STICK YOU MONSTER

- honestly glad chip cant get another deal because thats double fucked

- erm i dont think you should let niklaus decide when the dread queen comes back maybe its just me but that seems. KINDA BAD :DD

- dude not. dont call him papa possibility :((

- CAPTAIN ROSE CAUSED IT??????

- THE STICK 😭😭😭

- yeah chip lost something valuable alright THE STICK. oh yeah and his heart too I Guess 🙄🙄

- [looking at his exploded friends] u alright? ._.

- theyre speaking spanish :> my beloveds.

- augh chip and queen hug :(( i love them so much :(( also WWHO TF IS QUEEN need their backstory asap

- OH MY GOD AAAUGH THE REFERENCE

- "nice forearms. and nicer staff :))" "did you just walk up and say that to me???" 😭😭 (did not even listen to the entirety of the old campaign) (like one episode at most)

- "M̶͈͉̌͐Y̵̼̆͂ ̵͕͆͆T̸̩͖͌͆I̶̘̐̇M̸̭̲̔̇E̵̯̜̍͒ ̶̝̀H̴̲̹͊͌Ą̷͌̅Ș̴̛̉ ̴͚͝Ċ̴̬O̷̻͚̊̕M̴̲̭͐̉Ë̷̢͉́͘.̶͈̰͐̀" "should we call them back who was that :}" gilly my silly 

- awh chip and jay conversation :(( jay feeling guilty because chip had his heart taken away because she didnt get her limbs taken off (girl its okay nobody wants to be amputated) and chip reassuring her that its fine even though its definitely not fine

- get that leg fixed goddamn. dont hide it no-

- Tree Powers Activate >:D [tree powers do not activate]

- "that barrel you sleep in? thats made of trees!" "but... it doesnt have any branches..." 

- starts weeping sexily

- what is happening. i cant keep up with their silly banter this is so funny help

- "H̴͔͌͊Ę̵̢̂̔Ẻ̴̯E̷͓̓͛Y̸̱͂͑Y̴̤̹̅Ỹ̷̧̪Y̷̘̆͝Y̷͓̙͆." "omg i didnt know you were chill like that."

- idk if anyone noticed but gillion is my silly. my favorite little guy if you will. gilly. he is my everything. he is bantering with a tree.

- HELP JAY AND CHIP ARE JUST STANDING THERE

- GOD DONT LET GILL ASK THE TREE AHAHAHHSHDHSHD

- "do u like blue color or red color more?? :∆"

- HOW MANY TREES ARE THERE??? NONONONONO GILLY DONT DO IT-

- "what do they call you?" "how long until you die :3"

- HELP GILLION WIKI. LISTENING TO JRWI IN PUBLIC IS SO HARD IM SO GLAD I HAVE A MASK BECAUSE I CANT STOP SMILING OMG

- Gillion Motherfucking Titty Sucking Tidestrider

- omg the prophecy lore pls i need the truth too

- i did not understand any of that but cool

- "who are you without your titles?" "i dont know" ow. okay.

- god i hate how jrwi can go from so funny to so emotional so quickly. i love it. i hate it.

- albatrio my beloved. my found family

- "if the world explodes, at least we get exploded together :))" aw... i think...

- "what do you see in these fishy eyes 0-0" "what color are gills eyes?" "Bloo :]"

- GRAGHH GILL ASKED WHAT THEY SEE IN HIM. THEY SEE A FRIEND. THEY SEE FAMILY. THEY SEE A GOOD PERSON. HURGH. IM GONNA THROW UP. THEY SEE SOMEONE WHO WILL LAUGH WITH THEM WHEN THEYRE IN DANGER. GOD IM GONNA BE SICK.

Gill: What if there's nothing?

Jay: Have you enjoyed it?

Gill:  I think I had a pretty rough start, but yeah. Even the worse parts. Maybe more than I should have. Yeah I have.

Chip: Then fuck it.

Jay: That's all that matters.

OH SO YOU WANT TO HURT ME. OH SO YOU WANT TO KILL ME.

- "Even if its all inevitable I'm glad we got written in the same story." Dont. Dont do this to me.

- HELP NOT THE INTERVALS OF GILL JUST BREAKING DOWN IN BETWEEN SENTENCES

- NO LITERALLY DO NOT GIVE ANYONE THE DECK OF MANY THINGS PLEASE

- noo haha chip dont pull a card from the deck of many things youre so sexy hahaa (i already made this joke befo

- "gambling is not destiny"

- woah theres a wicked looking sword in the corner

- BABY BLADE????? yeah were movin on.

- dont eat chip's hotmode swords pretty please

- charlie has made nuh uh and yuh huh a part of my vocabulary this sucks

- istg if "it is what it is" becomes the new "it is my destiny".... 

- naw gill trying to defy the gods by not sleeping 😔😔 bbg just go sleep

- they gotta get outta here man i dont wanna know what happens if they get too many corruption points jays ALREADY AT 5...

- WHAT DID THEY DO TO EARL???? HELP LMAO

gill: Oh Well you know if you need anyone Else to cast the spell for you... Maybe theres like a PALADIN or someone-

chip: i can try :))

gill: *fucking leaves*

- chip jumpscaring igneous for a bit is so silly of him please use chip being dead as a prank more lmao 

- hnnghhnghhnb star saying that they have to make their own hope while holding zamia hrrrghhr oh theyre In Love in love

- "Life keeps going on. And so do the holes. In the sea. And they call to us." - Jay Ferin

- "he was there one moment and then he turned to dust and died. Wait im thinking about the tree. Green is fine :))"

- he gave gill his seed. yuh huh. yurp.

- gill has two moms that share custody of him :] and also theyre gods :]

- "i have ceremony prepped if you want to make it official :>" HAHSHAHDHS GILL #1 SUPPORTER OF STAR/ZAMIA FRRR

- ZAMIA BLUSHING PLEASEEE

- BAHAHAHSHSH "not a big deal ive officiated a wedding before :)) NOT THAT IT WAS HONORED 👀😒😒🙄🙄"

- TIL DEATH DO US PART. AND CHIPS DEAD. ALL IT TOOK WAS TAKING CHIPS HEART TO GET DIVORCED.

- "ive seen this before :DD do you guys wanna get married?" lmao so this is why i saw some ship art of chip and igneous.

- "i share my finances with them already [gesturing to gill and jay]" is this supposed to imply that you are married to your captains chip nolastname. chip jrwi. 

- jay: nononono we're not adding another Person to that though. oh so you ARE in a polyamorous relationship huh. huh.

- gill: i never thought of it like that ._. (he was in the poly and he didnt even realize)

- wait so have they just decided that if they both roll nat 20s they would get married. ermm. chip i think you. i think you forgot smth... (/hj)

- chip got 0 game just go to your fish man already

- "as a cleric i feel obligated to stop y" "no dont." "sure ._." dang they really want to go into this hole dont they.

- nonono no mold hallway no please no no

- lol did they just forget to mention the literal teleporter they have that can bring them out of the black sea at any point.

- honestly i love that the riptide pirates are just bad at being pirates. like go off and make friends and throw your money off the ship.

- igneous part of the riptide pirates :DD (literally run away from these dumbasses)

[lokilickedme]

Who was it that asked for workplace sex in The Puma Club?  Whoever that was, I got some good news for you.

Also I’m still fretting over Julian Sands, I can’t believe me and my kids disappeared him.  This is what, day 8?  COME HOME MR SANDS WE’RE SORRY WE WON’T DO IT AGAIN

I have a sinus headache from my almost-done cold but now Little is snuffling and it looks like it’s going to make the rounds through all of us before it leaves.  Feck.

Tomorrow is my day off so I’ll try to throw out some writing, but god help me I’m gonna finish this one chapter today before I go in if it hamstrings me.  And it probably will, so, yay.

On a side note:  the store’s playlist has quite a lot of Hozier on it and I would full-body hug whoever’s responsible for that if there wasn’t also Taylor Swift on it.  Dude, you were so close to sainthood, why’d you drop the donuts when you were two feet from the table?  At least I’m not at the ice cream shop listening to Kanye with barely alive teenagers anymore.  In fact I got a commendation in front of upper management last night and as the little meeting was breaking up I growled at my boss DO NOT PROMOTE ME, I MEAN IT, I LOVE WHAT I’M DOING DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT I WILL SHANK SOMEBODY BEFORE I LET YOU SHOVE ME UP THE LADDER.  He seems to be grooming me for management and I just...I don’t wanna.  I go into the store in the middle of the afternoon, I grab my little computer, I disappear into the depths and I reappear four hours later on my way out the door.  Nobody even knows I’m there unless I choose to interact with someone (okay Crackbaby in the deli knows I’m there because he hunts all over the store to find me and puts his stupid adorable face in front of me every day at 4:00 because apparently he wants to be a new muse or something).  I’m my own supervisor and department head, hell I’m my own entire department, I don’t answer to anybody.  Some of my co-workers think I’m a spy from corporate and I let them because that’s kinda cool actually.  I get to indulge my particular brand of OCD by organizing and arranging and sorting and I can be as weird as I want to be because there’s literally only one person who can do anything about me and he thinks I’m the coolest person in the world.  Why would I want to move into an office and be handed stress quotas and anxiety reports?  Naw, I’m good thanks.

Anyway, it’s 25 degrees today.  Snow on the ground.  I’m supposed to take my MIL to lunch but when she calls I’m gonna beg off because Little is so snuffly he sounds like a vacuum hose snorting up Jell-o.  Which gives me more time to work on The Puma Club before I go to work...oh yeah, that was the entire point of this post.  Puma Club will be updating today or tonight, hopefully.  Tomorrow at the latest.  And whoever asked for the workplace sex, today’s your lucky day :)  Or tomorrow, depending on my attention span allotment for the next three hours.

[sonicagnt]

I JUST FOUND THIS PHOTO AND SOME OF THE MINOR DETAILS ARE KILLING ME😭

First Photo finish taking a picture of this whole thing go down, like what you gone put this in the yearbook. we got Vinyl ass just running everyone over. Like girl you a dj and you barely talk you do not need that mic. She just in Mille Bobby Brown er

Bulk doing some typa of war cry. Fluttershy is like falling wit the most hilarious face I’ve ever seen. That one trixie minion(aint nobody know her name😪) scared for her life. Like she most be seeing somethin else cuz petrified😭. Derpy practicing her crack instrument. Cheerilee (at least i think thats her) dead on the ground. And AJ just walking by wit no care in the world💀

Pinkie done launched herself out her cannon and Sonata ass just cheering her on. But rainbow, she fighting for her life. Girl done got jumped by Pinkie. And I bet Sonata and Pinkie planned that shit💀

Its octavia just swinging herself from her bass for me. Girl said we gone have to use some other methods. Diamond tiara hitting that “CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS.” Just insert applebloom and you good. Flash though, he running for his LIFE. Look at the distress on that boy’s face. Bro just tryin not to get ran over by Vinyl Bobby Brown over there. On the other hand Celestia, she on a mission. Sunset better watch out cause Celestia look like she finna tackle a mf.

Lyra and Bon Bon though💀. Lyra want all the smoke while Bon Bon look offended asf. She is taken a BACK. Lyra out here throwin elbows so they best be careful 👀. Now the CMCs they had me HOLLERIN bruh. Sweetie belle done fell over and Appleblom said fuck em. Scootaloo had the decency to at least turn back. But Applebloom, she said some “i gotta put me first😭”

Twilight lookin like she forgot how to breathe. Like she been in a human body for a couple days give da girl a break. Adagio was not playin though , done put her ass on the ground💀. ARIA IS DEAD WRONG FOR GRABBIN SPIKE’S TAIL. Spike aint neva coming near the EQG universe again. Aria probably gave that boy PTSD. Now sunset need to watch out cuz trixie got her fist balled up. Girl does not care sunset got that mic. She said some “it ain’t over till its hers.” But naw, justice for Spike😭🙏🏾

[authornina]

The Boys vs The Girls: Feelings.

***THIS HAS NOT BEEN THROUGH A TYPICAL EDITING PROCESS; ALL SHORTS ARE ROUGH DRAFTS***

It was one o’clock in the morning while Sav, Dem and Roddy sat outside the strip club smoking. They had to leave earlier than they wanted because Roddy was about to smack the shit out of Rockee, a girl he’d been seeing for doing her damn job. 

“That bitch really might make me do somethin’ to her.”

“She ain’t know the rules?” Sav asked, while laughing and coughing. Roddy actually had something he implemented within his relationships which he called Roddy Regulations for whatever woman he was dealing with. He couldn’t help how possessive he’d get. That was the con to falling in love so easily. They thought the shit was hilarious every time he had a new girl and they’d get the rude awakening. “I’m surprised you let her stay in that muhfucka.” 

“Man…” Dem dragged, running his hands down his face. “This exactly why ya ass can’t keep a bitch. You got too many fuckin’ rules for the hoe. Don’t smile at another nigga, don’t talk to another nigga, don’t breathe around no niggas, she gotta check in every hour even if she sleep, she gotta wear a tracking watch and all that other bullshit. You crazy nigga, and why the fuck would you deal with strippers if you can’t handle they profession?” 

“Yea,” Sav added. 

“Nigga I know you not talkin’!” Roddy got loud. “How many times you snatch Chi off the stage or out this muhfucka by her lace fronts?” 

“I’m me and you you, don’t compare us. My bitch ain’t gon’ be poppin pussy for nobody but me. You lettin’ the girl still strip then wanna get mad. I was enjoying the show too. I should fuck you up.” 

Just then Rockee came storming out the door looking around the parking lot with sweatpants on and a little belly shirt. The heels had been replaced by black Timbs and her hair was up in a bun now. She was ready to fight. 

“Look at my bitch.” 

“Get your ass out the car nigga!” she came storming over. “How dare you embarrass me like that!” 

“I don’t give a fuck!” Roddy got out. Sav and Dem were hollering. “When I tell your stupid ass to do something you do it!” 

“Nigga fuck you! You ain’t my damn daddy! This why I don’t fuck on the job! If you couldn’t handle what I do, then you shouldn’t’ve fucked with me! I’m not about to deal with this crazy ass shit, Roddy!” 

“Too muthafuckin’ late! I’m in love with your stupid ass so it’s over for you! Go pack your shit before I really embarrass you out here!” 

Rockee wanted to be mad but this nigga was overly crazy, and she loved it on the low. She’d never been with anyone so available with their feelings and especially not a street nigga. Roddy pushed weight during the night then cuddled with her expressing his love by day. He had no problem being open and she found the shit adorable because usually niggas like him tried to hide what they had but he warned her from the very beginning that he fell in love easy. She remembered his exact words: 

Ain’t no goin’ back once you mine. I get violent over my bitches when I’m in love. I’m territorial, I like to fight and shoot.

“I’m not playin’ with you,” Rockee pointed her long nail up in his face. “Control your fuckin’ feelings or we through!” 

“Hoe I know you not threatenin’ to break up with me!” 

Rockee hauled off and slapped the shit out of him. Dem and Sav were sinking in their seats crying. Roddy didn’t even do shit, he barely budged running his tongue across his teeth with a grin as if he liked the shit.

“I said…” Roddy started backing her ass up with his body all the way back to the door. “Go get your shit before I muthafuckin’ hurt your ass,” he gritted with his forehead down to hers. 

“Naw,” Rockee pushed him away. She knew he wouldn’t put his hands on her, but Roddy could be a little intimidating sometimes. She wouldn’t admit that to him but still, she had to be careful when dealing with a nigga like him and his feelings. “I’ma get ride with Starr cause you trippin’.” 

“Then fuck your stuff,” Roddy grabbed her and dragged her to the car. Rockee was shouting for him to let her go but he wasn’t hearing that shit. He gave her a chance to go peacefully but her ass wanted to be stupid. 

Sav and Dem were in the front seat completely inconsolable. Dem couldn’t even get himself together to drive because the shit was so funny. Rockee sat in the backseat with her arms crossed over her breast mean mugging them all. 

“Take me to the crib bro, I’m bouta beat this bitch ass.” Roddy only said that to further get under Rockee’s skin, but she had something for him. She took off her boot and went to work.  

“Stop!” Roddy laughed covering himself. “Damn, I was just playin’. You always gotta get violent on a nigga.” 

“Don’t play with me like that!” Rockee pushed him. “Take me the fuck home, Dem!”

“You better ask me nicely my nigga.” 

“Then fuck you too!” 

“Yo,” Roddy answered his phone. “Naw, why? Wassup?” 

“Who is that?” 

“Mind your business,” Roddy scooted away from her and she tried to snatch his phone. “Chill man!” 

“No cause if it’s a bitch…” Rockee grabbed his dick and he dropped the phone. “Who the fuck is this?” she spoke then listened. A salty expression crossed her face. “Oh, my fault, Wreck…here!” she shoved the phone to him. 

“Dickhead…yea bro…ard, I’ll get wit you tomorrow. Early.” Roddy hung up the phone and stared at Rockee. “Now suck my dick for that.”

“You wish, y’all niggas need to take me home.”

“Naw, you comin’ to the crib tonight. I’ma knock some sense into your ass.” 

“Put your hands on me if you want to.” 

“The fuck you gon’ do?” Roddy put her in a headlock.

“Stop!” Rockee tried to break free. “Get off me!” 

“Tell me you love me more than anybody.”

“I love your ugly ass more than anybody.” 

“Say Roddy, you got the best dick in the world.”

“You childish nigga,” Dem laughed finally pulling off. 

“I’m not sayin’ that shit.”

Roddy reached back with his other hand and pulled her thong up her ass more. She shrieked in discomfort. 

“Oh my God, I hate you!” Rockee screamed. “You got the best dick in the world nigga!” 

“Ard then,” Roddy let her go then grabbed her hair forcing her head down, giving her a deep kiss. Rockee wanted to punch him however the chills and goosebumps took over. Their relationship was so dysfunctional, and he practically made her be his girlfriend, but she couldn’t lie and say that the love he gave wasn’t everything and more. It was far from what she expected out of the nigga who’d fucked just about every hoe in her zip code. Roddy the boyfriend when he wasn’t trying to be funny was sweet, loving, kind, gentle and generous. 

“Y’all can take that shit the fuck on out my wheel,” Dem said, when he finally got to Roddy’s place. They’d been kissing for the whole thirty minutes. She came up for air with the stank face looking at his house.

The only thing Rockee could not stand was that he still lived with his mother, or she lived with him as he liked to put it. All the money he had, and Roddy preferred to be up under his number one girl. It wasn’t like they were in each other’s face because he had made the entire basement like a luxury apartment with its own entrance but still, his mother was always hovering over them right upstairs. She hated having sex in there. 

“Here,” Roddy handed Rockee his keys. “Go in the crib, I’ll be in there,” he told her. She sucked her teeth while rolling her eyes then snatched the keys. He smacked her ass on the way out. “Be spread eagle when I come in!” he shouted. “And you better not smell like slim jims this time!” 

“Fuck you nigga!” 

“Bro,” Sav was hollering. “Something wrong witchu.” 

“I’ma marry that bitch.” 

“No you not,” Dem said. “You just infatuated at best.” 

“The fuck would you know, twelve baby momma, fifteen kids havin’ ass nigga. You don’t know my heart or my dick. It belong to Rockee and I’ma put a ring on it. Even my momma love her.” 

“You say that all the time though,” Sav reminded him. 

“Ain’t no other hoe ever met my main lady though.”

“That’s true,” Dem nodded. “Hold on…” he pressed accept on his phone. “Why you still woke?” 

“Cause why you not in this house?” Haze asked. “You know I need you to rub me down.” 

“Man…” Dem smiled mad Sav and Roddy heard her. They were silently clowning him. “I’m on my way bro.” 

“Then hurry up.” 

“Who the fuck you talkin’ to?” 

“You nigga. After these kids done wore me the fuck out, you better lower your tone and come cater to me.” 

That was one thing Dem loved about Haze. She loved all his kids as if they made them together. She never really tried to make him be her boyfriend but naturally he wanted to because there wasn’t any pressure. They weren’t official but everyone saw them as a couple. They lived together, raised his kids together, spent holidays together and currently expecting baby number two together. Haze was Dem’s girlfriend whether it was set in stone or not. Still, she didn’t expect anything but him to be there for his kids and deal with her tantrums while carrying his children. 

Sav stared at his brother waiting for Dem’s response. He didn’t care what the fuck he said, the nigga was in love with Haze. Sav knew him, he’d saw Dem with a girlfriend before and it was never about what he displayed physically, it was always in what he didn’t say. The things he’d allow that any other time, Dem would’ve been checked out on a bitch. Sav saw it happen once before and now, Haze. He was surprised he couldn’t lie because he thought that Dem would surely never want to be with anyone else but there was something about Haze he guessed.  

“Ard man,” Dem sighed, shocking the fuck out of Roddy. 

“How far are you?” 

“Like a hour.” 

“That’s too long. I’m horny baby…wait, you not around nobody are you?” 

“No Haze, damn, I’m comin now,” Dem said doing his best not to laugh. He pushed Sav away from him and Roddy was silently dying. “You ain’t tryna fuck with me like that anyway.” 

“Then talk nasty to me.”

“Oh come the fuck on!”

“NIGGA IM PREGNANT WITH ANOTHER ONE YOUR BIG HEAD ASS BABIES AND YOU CAN’T EVEN DO THAT?”

Sex for some reason was painful to Haze with this pregnancy. Every time they tried she complained of too much pressure. So lately they haven’t been having as much sex, there’d only been unsuccessful attempts.

“Ard,” Dem sighed. “You naked?”

“No,” Haze responded excitedly. “Hold on!” her line went silent for a moment. 

“Yooooooo,” Roddy whispered pushing Dem who simply smiled. “And she sound sexy as fuck!”

“Shut the fuck up or I’m not gon’ let y’all listen!” Dem yelled to them after putting his phone on mute. 

“Y’all must do this all the time,” Sav said. “I remember phone sex days.”

“Her ass always ready. I can’t leave for a second.”

“She pregnant man.”

“Oh shit, she callin’ on facetime, Roddy move the fuck over so she can’t see you,” he said. Dem answered and sure enough Haze didn’t have a lick of clothing on. Her belly was perfectly round, and he watched as she got comfortable in their bed. 

“Okay, I’m back and I’m naked.”  

“Ard, you relaxed?”

“Yes…”

“You not stressin’ my baby out are you?”

“No Dem,” Haze answered softly. Sav and Roddy looked at one another silently laughing. They had front row seats to the freak show. Dem wasn’t embarrassed or anything, he was cool talking like they weren’t even there.  

“That pussy wet already or I gotta work for it?”

“You know it stay wet for you.”

“That’s what I wanna hear baby.”

“Dem…” Haze groaned. 

“I know baby, that pussy poundin’ ain’t it?”

“Yes, I need you…” 

“Haze?” 

“Hm?” 

“You love me?” 

“I do…” 

“Tell me you love me baby.” 

“I love you…” she moaned.

“Show me how much you love me.” 

Haze put the camera between her legs holding it in place with her thighs. She spread her lower lips open giving Dem a clear view of what his little brother called it, a strawberry ice cream sandwich. Chocolate all around and pink in the middle. 

“Fuck Haze….”

“I’m so wet baby.” 

“I see.” 

“Let us see,” Roddy whispered. Dem was holding the phone on an angle so they couldn’t view his baby momma’s goodies. Sav shook his head knowing that only meant one thing. Dem was never stingy with pussy. Ever. He’d even hit Haze before but to know he didn’t want anybody seeing it all now spoke volumes. This nigga was feeling her heavy. 

“Dem…” Haze breathed heavily. He could spell Mississippi and have her ass on a high. Something about her baby daddy just did her in. Dem was so smooth with it. He didn’t have to even try. 

“Mhm, I’m here…” 

“I wanna feel you inside me.” 

“But you can’t take it right now.” 

“I’m gonna try,” she pouted sounding sexy as hell. 

“Mommy…” Dem heard Poppy and Haze snapped her legs closed then dropped the phone. He was cracking the fuck up. 

“Why you woke?” he heard Haze ask their daughter. 

“I go potty, it’s dark.” 

“Okay, come on…” Haze came back on the phone looking goofy. “Your daughter get on my nerves!” she said, wrapping a robe around herself walking through the house. Dem was hollering. “Bring your ass home now!” and with that she banged on his ass.

“Kids always fuckin’ some shit up,” Roddy laughed. “Now I’m bouta go in here and fuck the linin’ outta Rockee, shit!” he grabbed his dick. “Haze got a nigga ready to jerk off and nut on y’all necks!” 

“Get the fuck out my car nigga.” 

“Now let’s see if I can get some phone sex,” Sav said pulling out his phone calling Chi. She picked up on the third ring. 

“What?” 

“That’s how you answer for your husband?” 

“Dayvion ain’t nobody playin’ with you,” Chi yawned. “Where are you?” 

“On my way, what you got on?” 

“Why?” 

“Cause I wanna know.” 

“Goodbye hoe,” Chi hung up on him. Roddy and Dem were cracking the fuck up.

“Damn nigga, your wife hate you.” 

“Do she?” Sav asked, smiling reading a text.

Chi: Don’t be tryna get fresh with me around your hoe ass brother and whore ass Roddy but since you wanna know so much…

Chi: Attachment

“Ard, take me home,” Sav said, not needing to see or hear anything else.

[onebizarrekai]

undeniable proof that shuichi and kokichi were gay in v3

prepare yourself for the most big brain thing that has ever bigged your brain

chapter 1

shuichi saihara spends this chapter following kaede around because they were just trapped in a godforsaken killing game and everything seems to suck. when faced with a situation such as this, the natural inclination is to either find someone to latch onto or to distrust and stick to oneself. shuichi does the former because he is a twiggy little man who would probably die in a fight before anyone even attacked him.

what is kokichi doing in this chapter? sticking to himself? stalking someone? that is the real question. nobody knows what he is doing because he is not the protagonist and not the obligatory party companion. however, since v3 follows a theme of fiction, it is totally logical to believe that some system must be in place, but kokichi is not bound by such a system because kokichi represents anarchy.

he does not stick with another for all to see, nor does he remain alone. alas, he searches for a secret companion and has not found one yet. who shall he find? shall he find any? the truth is, he gravitates towards shuichi. it’s supposed to be in secret, but there is a way in the game to see what really happened.

if you speak to tsumugi right before everyone is asked to gather at the cafeteria a second time, she mentions sonic the hedgehog. kokichi runs by, saying “got to go fast”. this means that kokichi has either played sonic the hedgehog or is at least well-versed in sonic memes. if you get this dialogue, and only if you get it, later, kokichi makes another sonic reference, saying “faker? I think you’re the fake hedgehog around here!” while he confuses everyone, the dialogue makes the odd choice of stopping on shuichi, even though the dialogue box only includes “…” and nothing else.

chapter 2

if you have unlocked tsumugi’s sonic dialogue and go to the monomono machine, you now have a 5% chance of getting sonic merchandise. if you give this merchandise to kokichi, you get some interesting dialogue. he says “wow, shuichi! how did you know that I grew up playing sonic and that it’s my absolute favorite video game series of all time?” this immediately maxes out all 5 of his friendship fragments, and you can get all 5 of his hangouts without giving him any more presents. you’re probably wondering why this is important, but you will see.

as kaede is now dead, shuichi finds himself horribly alone. while kaito is there and starts calling him his sidekick, the force of protagonist syndrome has caused shuichi to gain the courage to hang out with anyone, including kokichi of course. I don’t need to talk about kokichi’s hangouts. they literally end with “I stole your heart, so now I’m satisfied!” and it doesn’t get gayer than that.

or does it?

if you investigate the bathroom part of ryoma’s lab during this chapter and click on a very specific spot in order to enter one of the stalls, you can click on the toilet 5 times and shuichi will lie down on the floor. while it’s to investigate the underside of the toilet, and there is nothing to be found, the words “kokichi was here” are written on the ceiling above the stall. if you’ve already hung out with kokichi at least once in this chapter, shuichi will sigh and wonder what kokichi is doing right now.

if you’ve given kokichi the sonic merchandise, and you reach kokichi’s final free time event in this chapter, he will actually question shuichi after he finishes bandaging kokichi’s finger up, briefly commenting on how shuichi managed to get close to him so quickly and asking him “what his trick is”. he says “you must like me a whole lot, shuichi. I hope you don’t bail on me after this.” word for word, literally just hear me out.

“kokichi places his warm hand on mine, and I feel like he’s prying much deeper than he usually does.”

“I didn’t think that was possible…”

chapter 3

little did you know, giving kokichi the sonic merchandise unlocked a bonus hangout. yes, you heard me right. a WHOLE bonus hangout. you can hang out with him again whenever you want in this chapter. kokichi only says “good to see you.” you can select yes or no.

the screen will fade to black.

you have used up a free time.

if you have reached this hidden part of kokichi’s relationship sequence, random dialogue that isn’t in the normal game starts getting sprinkled in, as well as certain easter eggs. when angie starts her whole shtick, since you’ve already hung out with kokichi 5 times, there are a few things he has to say straight up, like how he’s going to teach shuichi about cults so shuichi doesn’t accidentally join the student council.

chapter 4

now that you’ve finally reached chapter 4 and activated the secret kokichi pathway, you get a hidden scene, much like the others that are triggered by having specific items in your inventory. in the middle of the night, kokichi breaks into shuichi’s room and shakes him awake, telling him that someone stole his almond milk.

shuichi tells kokichi to shut up and rolls over.

fun fact, if you get the hangout with miu where she checks whether shuichi is a virgin, she does, in fact, say “ha, I can’t believe this!” and if you zoom in the window behind her, you can barely make out kokichi’s face. peering in. watching you. if you click on him at any point during this hangout, you will hear a voice clip of kokichi’s laugh and shuichi will internally respond to miu’s dialogue differently. he will think “miu is the last person I need to know about this…”

in this sonic dialogue route, shuichi responds slightly differently to kokichi revealing that he is the mastermind. although his dialogue is mostly the same, he counts approximately 22 extra crying sprites, implied to be caused by additional heartbreak.

chapter 5-6

these chapters play out mostly the same way until the very end, the only exception being when you’re investigating kokichi’s lab. if you click on kokichi’s throne 13 times, one of the bookshelves will slide out of the way to reveal a hidden bathroom. there is an envelope taped to the wall that says “for my beloved detective, who habitually smacks things over and over.” it says “if you’re reading this, I’m probably dead. or am I? wouldn’t you like to know? nishishi.” shuichi comments about the fact that kokichi literally wrote that stupid laugh out, only to start crying again.

make sure that you have kind lie equipped as one of your skills before you start the final trial.

if you’ve done everything exactly according to plan up to this point, the ending is different.

tsumugi decides to show kokichi’s audition tape instead of kaede’s. he says “I’d love to be a part of danganronpa! I can finally be a bad guy without being scared!” but then kokichi looks directly at the camera. he says “naw, just messing with you. guess who?”

the screen cracks.

kokichi has suddenly entered the scene of the trial. tsumugi looks horrified. her wig falls off. everyone is at a loss for words. suddenly the screens and lights around them start to black out until everyone is left in almost complete darkness.

shuichi finally asks kokichi how he’s alive. he’s like, “you DIED” and kokichi is like “or did I? it’s the grand finale, shuichi! I owe you the truth this one time, because you’re my favorite.” everyone listens intently. “you see, by observing your irrational actions, almost like that of a main character… I was able to conclude that we exist in a fictional world that plays by certain rules. but we all been knew, didn’t we? not quite! someone forgot to test for exploits.” himiko just goes like “what the fuck you smokin?” and kokichi just laughs. “my self awareness has given me more power than you can possibly imagine! let’s just say I learned where the hit boxes are broken and installed a few cheat codes in the meantime!”

“no… that’s impossible! this isn’t supposed to be part of the ending at all!” tsumugi doesn’t like that one bit. she just kinda breaks down crying. shuichi isn’t paying attention to her though. he had accepted oblivion only to be greeted with kokichi being alive. as annoying as kokichi is, they are hopelessly in love. maki is a little disturbed.

after passionately reuniting with shuichi, kokichi says the thing. “this world is mine now, tsumugi! you got nothin on this! it’s time to say goodbye to this trash dump and create a new reality!” tsumugi just kinda goes like “noooo!!!”

everything goes black. shuichi has a vision about entering creative mode. kokichi has opped him. they take hands. “let’s create someplace way more fun.” maki and himiko and keebo look at each other because they’re floating in the background and watching this happen even though it’s supposed to be an internal vision. the screen goes white.

shuichi graces us with some internal protagonist dialogue about how he doesn’t really understand what’s happening anymore or what’s waiting for them outside of this world, but he thinks that things might turn out ok.

after unlocking this ending, you unlock a super secret video that you can view from the main menu. it’s a fully animated video of kokichi and dice dancing to world is mine. this is what they spent all their budget on

[letarasstuff]

When everybody turns into an oracle

Summary: Nothing puts more pressure on you than other people teling you your grade will be perfect, because behind that stands so much more than a number on a sheet of paper. Same goes for Spencer's daughter.

Warnings: School, grades, angst (there is fluff and a badass moment), fear of failure/disappointing someone

Wordcount: 1.5k

✨Masterlist✨ __________________________________

“I really pooped this quiz. What about you, (Y/N)?” Before the teenager is able to answer, another classmate comes up from behind the two. “She’ll get a 100, like always.”

“I-I don’t know. Question two and three really got me there, I’m just happy to pass it.” The little group of people around her groans.

“You always say that.” “And get a perfect score”, the first one adds, “Just stop to make us look bad, because we really do have to worry about passing this class. What do you have to worry about? Getting straight A’s like that. I really want your problems.”

(Y/N) just keeps it quiet. She stopped a long time ago trying to defend herself. ‘I am on my way to the BAU’, she shoots a text to her father and exits the school building. Today she doesn’t take the train. There are too many noises and all she wants is some peace.

The words of her classmates echoes through her head. Yes, she always has a good score and she intends to keep it up. She is just doing her best, right? Her problems have to be still valid, don’t they?

“Ahh, Wonder Baby. I thought you forgot about us and decided you are too cool to hang out with us”, Derek calls out after her as soon as he spots his godchild. “Nah, Uncle Derek. Nobody can be too cool to hang out with you. I just hadn’t had much time because of school work. But there are only two weeks left before spring break starts and the only thing I have to do now is waiting for my results.”

“Right, Spencer told us you are stressing yourself out about those. Your last quiz was today, wasn’t it? The one you dread the most apparently?” Emily joins the conversation. “Uh, I did. But don’t get your hopes up too high, I really don’t have a clue what I did there. The grade can range between passed to 100.”

“Naw, Smartypants, you say that every time. What are you afraid of? Telling us you are real smart? Don’t be humble, we work with your father. We know how to handle geniuses.” Derek isn’t exactly helping her with that. (Y/N) just turns red and tries to change the subject. “Uh, no. Another thing: Where is Dad?”

“Spencer went to pick some reports from the M.E. in D.C. who helped us on the last case. He should be back in half an hour. But Penelope wants to see you, something about trying new vegan cookies she baked last night”, JJ informs (Y/N) as she passes the group to drop some files off.

For the remainder of the day the teenager hides out in the lair, blocking any human reaction out with her earphones. She just can’t handle any more insensitive stuff like earlier. Later her father picks her up to go home together.

“So, Emily told me you didn’t do well on your test today? Do you wanna talk about it?” He asks, choosing his words carefully as he prepares dinner with his daughter sitting at the kitchen table and watching him. The doctor knows the pressure created by asking his daughter about school related topics.

“I don’t know. Everyone keeps telling me I’ll get a perfect score and I think it’s admirable that all of them turn out to be able to look into the future. How do they know better than me what I get?”

It’s months of pent up stress and anxiety finally making its way up to the surface. (Y/N) tries to fight the tears down. “I really don’t understand this. I get asked how I did, I tell them I don’t feel good about the test and then they talk over me every single time. And when I say I don’t know it, I say it to not get anybody’s hope up high. I don’t want to disappoint anybody.” Finally tears stream down the teenager’s cheeks.

“Oh Sweetheart”, Spencer makes his way over to her and engulfs his daughter in a hug. “Shhh, don’t cry. I know it’s incredibly difficult to live up to their expectations, but you don’t need to. You don’t need to impress them, because their opinion doesn’t matter. Neither your classmate’s, your teacher’s nor the team’s. Not even mine should be important to you. Also, it doesn’t matter what you do, I’ll always be so proud of you, words can’t even describe it. There is literally nothing you can disappoint me with. You pushed and still push through so much crap and still you don’t fail to amaze me. You can never fail to amaze me. You can fail any class and become a professional card counter, I’ll still be proud to be your father. Please don’t cry over something you shouldn’t care about.”

They remain like this for several minutes, grasping each other until (Y/N)’s tears eventually die down. “I just want to be something more than just the smart girl with the good grades. I don’t want to feel like a two dimensional side character in a show, only there to provide the main characters with knowledge. I don’t want to be Velma, River Song, Frozone or Domino from Deadpool 2. I don’t want to be overlooked like this anymore.”Finally talking about her deepest insecurities lets her feel like a weight is lifted off her shoulders.

“And you are so much more”, Spencer encounters, “Some people just choose to ignore it, because you are so much more than their small brain with a low capacity is able to comprehend. They just pick the trait they understand the easiest. But never stop being you. Stay loud, stay complicated and, if you want to stay, uncomfortable for them. The right people will take the time and effort to get to know the real you, not just a copy others think you are. I know, it takes a great amount of patience to wait for them, but it’s worth it in the end. You hear me?”

(Y/N) looks up at her father, a small smile forming on her face. He would walk to the end of the world if it means to see it. “I hear you, Dad. Thank you so much.”

This night the teenager doesn’t get a lot of sleep. There are many thoughts that want to be, well, thought through. Still she wakes up and goes to school with a new amount of confidence.

This sadly only lasts until her first period. The teacher, one who is typically known for grading student’s work pretty fast, gives back yesterday’s quizzes. A small tumoult ensues as everyone compares their scores with each other.

(Y/N)’s anxiety rises into the unmeasurable until her teacher puts down her worksheet without a word. Confused she looks at the B- sitting at the dotted line, where the grade is supposed to be.

Now, a B- isn’t bad or anything, but she spots several answers her teacher didn’t tick as right or wrong. He must have oversaw them. Deciding to ask him about it after class, she puts it away and focuses on the material he is teaching.

So there she is, waiting for other classmates asking their questions regarding the quiz until it’s her turn. Meanwhile her lab partner Masey comes up to the teenager. “And, how did you do?”

“Uh, I got a B- bu-” “Oh my god, I’m better than the class nerd. I’m better than The Brain. Casey, I got a higher score than (Y/N)! I think you, too! Wow, I didn’t know I’m that smart. But no worries, (Y/N). I can explain this unit to you later, so you can do better next time.” This is the final straw for her.

“Hold on a sec, Masey. I’ll get that A, because Mr Harries didn’t see some of my answers. And just for your information: I didn’t ask you about your grade last time, because I knew you would poop that one after trying to explain it to you for four times while I got another A. Like every single time until now. Stop trying to appear cleverer than you are, it doesn’t suit you as much as these pants don't, because they are at least two sizes too small.”

The line finally moves up and (Y/N) is able to show Mr Harries his mistakes. He apologizes profusely, admitting that he maybe was too tired to grade these last quizzes and rewrite the B- to an A.

With her head held high she walks past her classmates, a content smile on her face.

It may be a long road to accept that you can’t be perfect and your grades don’t have to be, but forget this for a second and appreciate the feeling you get proving someone wrong like this.

Taglist:

All works:

@agentshortstacc

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl

[aliwritesfic]

Our Black Hearts (F!Reader x Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels)

Summary: Jack Daniels had long given up on avenging his murdered wife, instead choosing to travel west through the ruins of the United States to a small town called Deepwell. It's a fresh start, where nobody knows him. The thought of vengeance was almost out of mind until he found out about the towns book club and the gossip trade that happened there. So he joins, and figures it can't hurt to keep an ear out for news of the man who killed his wife.

Overall warnings: Death, violence, a lot of swearing, drinking, trauma, PTSD, angst

Warnings for this part: Drinking, mention of dead loved ones, smut, P in V sex, oral (F & M receiving), somewhat rough sex

Wordcount: 2.4k

Tags: Post-apocalypse AU, casual lovers, revenge

Part 2 (coming soonish)

The book club was a group of the only twelve people in the town who could read more than the few basic words that were usually taught. It wasn’t like an old-world book club, were people would gather to discuss the books they read – it was more of a book exchange, but the members preferred the word club. Of course, there were discussions, but they were seldom about books. They met once a week, usually on a Wednesday but sometimes on Fridays, and mostly talked about news they had heard from passing traders, letters given by couriers from family. This was how Jack got most of his information.

Jack Daniels was the newest member of this club. He was the newest resident of the Deepwell township, having come through one scorching hot Tuesday afternoon on the back of a trader’s caravan. He had taken one look at the dingy little town with its long-abandoned homes and decided that this was as far as he was willing to travel. Of course, he had to speak with the self-appointed Mayor, Lucy Jonas-Green, so she could assess his “suitability”. The interview had been a short one, consisting of only four questions, the grizzled old woman glaring at him through narrowed grey eyes.

“You good at shootin’?” Question one.

“Best I know.” It wasn’t a brag if it was true, Jack reasoned.

“Got any skills?” Question two.

“I’m good at buildin’ shit, I can stay awake for two days if I need to, I can read and write some stuff . . . I’m pretty good with a whip.”

“Why here?” Question three.

“Got sick of travelling.”

“What’s your name?” Question four.

“Jack.”

Lucy Jonas-Green had deliberated for exactly one minute, during which time Jack grew increasingly uncomfortable under her gaze. He felt like she could see directly into his soul, like she was deciding exactly how shit-stained it was. The only indication of her approval was a slight nod of the head. At that, a young boy, probably no older than thirteen, rushed over to greet him. The kid was chatty, but harmless.

It was through this kid that Jack first found out about the book club. He hadn’t been interested at first – just because he could read didn’t mean he liked to read. But at the mention of it being the towns main source of news from across the Fallen States, the chance of hearing something about the group that attacked Black Ridge was too good to pass up.

So now, he sat with the book club, a yellowed, mouldy copy of 1984 in his hands, ears pricked for any mention of a merc group led by a man with one eye and eleven fingers. A few months before he had finally settled in Deepwell, he had given up on his search and his quest for revenge. There had been no mention of him anywhere along the eastern townships, so Jack had headed west, deciding to leave the cruel memories of his wife behind. Now, he figured it couldn’t hurt to just listen.

But for weeks now, nothing. Whatever hope had rekindled itself in his chest was dying away, making room for cruel acceptance. Another meeting concluded, and Jack tucked the book carefully in his jacket. As much as he didn’t enjoy reading, he had a healthy respect for the leader of the book club and the threat of slitting his throat should something happen to the books she shared with the group.

The sun was low in the sky as he stepped outside, casting long shadows on the cracked pavement. People were beginning to move as the sunset, the harshest of its rays now dulled by the horizon. Electric streetlights slowly flickered on; the entire town was powered by recommissioned solar panels that someone much smarter than Jack had rigged up a decade ago. Jack considered his options for the night: either he could go back to the house he shared with a small family and scrounge up a meal of whatever was left in his room before a trader came through town tomorrow night, or he could go to the only bar in town, order several of whatever alcohol was in stock and a bowl of the ‘stew of the day’ which was usually just a root vegetable and some unidentified meat. Jack chose the bar.

The bar was the largest building in Deepwell, three stories tall and enough beds to sleep the entire population of the town twice over. The place smelt of stale booze and dust, a smell that seemed to be common over the entirety of the Fallen States. A jukebox in the corner played old world tunes on a loop.

“Evenin’, Jack.” The owner of the bar, Marcus, nodded his head in Jack’s direction. Jack nodded back and took off his hat – an old-world style that someone had once called ‘cowboy’. “Just the usual?”

“Yep, and keep the drinks coming,” Jack sat down at a small table close to the exit, his body always slightly angled to run at a moment’s notice, an old habit that he couldn’t seem to shake. A bowl of steaming stew was set down in front of him, along with a glass of murky amber liquid.

That’s when he noticed he was being watched. A woman sat in the corner, staring at him over a half empty glass of whiskey. Jack raised a brow and realised his recognised her. She was in the book club, too, but he didn’t remember her name. Everyone seemed to call her Chase. Jack was surprised she didn’t break her gaze when his eyes met hers, and against his better judgement, he put his hat back on, picked up his bowl and glass and walked over to her.

“This seat taken?” he asked. Without waiting for an answer, he set his food down on the table and sat.

~

Something about Jack Daniels intrigued you. Maybe it was the hat, or the facial hair he somehow managed to keep contained to a thick, neat moustache. Or maybe it was just the most annoyingly handsome person to ever come through Deepwell. Now he sat across from you, sipping on bathtub whiskey.

“Chase isn’t it?” he said after downing his glass.

“That’s what they call me,” you said. “What do they call you?”

Jack smirked. “Depends who you ask. Some like Dirty Bastard, others Motherfucker. For a while I was known as Whiskey. But you can call me whatever you like.” He finished with a wink.

“Jack it is,” you said with a roll of your eyes, but you would be lying to yourself if you weren’t a little charmed. “So, what brings you to book club, Jack?”

“Why, my love of old-world literature, of course.”

You leant back in your seat and tilted your head. He was lying, that much was obvious. But why? What was the point of lying? You looked into his eyes, a deep brown, and wondered if he was worth the trouble. He might be worth it for the night, you thought.

“Let’s pretend for a moment that I believe that,” you said, and Jack looked mildly surprised. “What’s taken you so long to come up and introduce yourself? You’ve been in town what now? Three months?”

“Two and a half,” Jack corrected, “and what gives you the impression I don’t care for literature?”

“Answer my question and I’ll answer yours,” you countered. Was this flirting? You hadn’t done it in so long, and the most practice you had was when you were working in the town garden, daydreaming about the heroes of the romance novels you kept in a safe in the corner of your room.

“Well, well, well,” Jack leant forward on his elbows, his gaze unreadable underneath his ridiculous hat. “I don’t have a reason for you, doll, but if it makes you feel better, I haven’t introduced myself to most people here.”

You settled for this explanation, knowing that Jack had been somewhat of a recluse around town since he had arrived. You decide to answer his question. “I know you don’t give a shit about books. It’s obvious you care more about the goss. Your ears practically twitch. What are you listening for?”

Jack deliberated for a moment; you could see on his face that he really was conflicted about telling you. He finished his mystery stew and finally speaks. “I’m looking for a man, have been for a few years now. He killed my wife, and I wanna kill him.”

“A simple revenge,” you said. “What makes you think you think news will turn up in Deepwell?”

“I didn’t,” Jack said, “I’d given up when I first came here. Figured it was best for my soul to do so – but then I heard about this club, and I guess it can’t hurt to keep an ear out for rumblin’s of a man with eleven fingers and one eye.”

“Eleven fingers?” Your stomach dropped, but you kept your face neutral.

“And one eye,” Jack nodded.

“Did you find out his name?” You asked. Maker don’t let it be Elijah. Don’t let him be alive. Jack shook his head.

“Naw, but eleven fingers and one eye, how many people could be runnin’ ‘round the Fallen States like that?” Jack shrugged, something akin to grief flittered briefly across his face, and you realised he was right. Having only one eye wasn’t unusual, a lot of people were missing some body part or another, but eleven fingers . . . you couldn’t deny the coincidence.

“Anyway,” Jack smirked at you, “you haven’t asked the most important question of all.”

You raised a brow. “Oh? And what’s that?”

“Are we takin’ this back to yours or mine, doll?”

~ Jack’s body is hard against yours, a sharp contrast to the softness of his lips. His shirt is off, discarded on the floor of your small bedroom. He kisses hungrily down your neck, his tongue darting along your collarbone. A moan escapes your lips as he slides his calloused hands along the bare skin of your stomach, roughly tugging at the frayed waistband of your jeans. His fingers find your wetness, easily finding your sensitive clit with his thumb. You groaned, head lolling forward into his sweaty neck.

“You like that?” he whispered into your ear; goosebumps raced along your body. His thumb made careful, slow circles along your clit. “Tell me you like it.”

“I like it,” you whined, bucking your hips in pleasure. A low groan escaped Jack’s throat at your words, spurring him on. He forces your pants off completely and discards them in the growing pile of clothes on the floor. He drops to his knees and pulls you closer, lips trailing delicately along your inner thighs. Then without warning, his tongue is lapping up the wetness of your clit, two fingers pumping your tight hole.

“Jack,” you whimper, the need for more sending you crazy. His dark eyes met yours over the top of your stomach, his tongue still working your clit. You’re hungry for him, the look of pure lust in his eyes spurring you to places you had never thought about. You sit up and place a hand on his shoulder, shuddering as another wave of pleasure rippled through your body. The look in your eyes must’ve told him what you want to do, because he stood and stepped back, allowing you room to get on your knees in front of him.

He undid his belt buckle with fingers still slick from your pussy and pulled his pants down. His cock sprang forward, making your mouth water with how fucking big it was. The head glistened with a bead of pre-cum. You leant forward and licked it off, before taking as much of his length in your mouth as you could. He groaned, his fingers tangling through your hair.

“Fuck, deeper,” his voice was husky with desire, and you happily obliged, taking him so you could feel him almost at the back of your throat. His fingers in your hair tightened, a pleasant pain on your skull. He groaned and pulled your head back, staring into your eyes. “I need you.”

You tugged him towards the mattress, pushing him on his back. You climb atop, feeling strangely dominant. His cock slid against the wetness of your hole, head entering before you pulled your hips away, a teasing smile on your lips. You go on like this, letting him enter a little further in you each time, enjoying the tortured look on his face, enjoying it even more when his eyes snapped open as you let him in completely. He moaned loudly, holding onto your hips tightly.

“Doll,” his word was muffled by his mouth on your tit, teeth latching onto your nipple. You rocked back and forth, clenching around his cock as an orgasm threatened to rip you from your body. Jack seemed to realise this, and flipped you both so you were on your back and he was standing, still inside you. He pulled you so your ass was off the mattress, your legs wrapped around his waist.

“Maker, you’re so fucking sexy,” he fucked you hard and rough, his dark gaze never leaving yours. His thumb was on your clit again, teasing you as an orgasm ripped through you. You moaned his name, your pussy clenching tightly around him. He grinned devilishly down at you, leaning forward to kiss you as he continued to thrust. He tasted of you, driving his tongue into your mouth. You met this eagerly, whimpering against his lips as yet another orgasm moved you.

“I can’t hold on,” Jack groaned, and before you could say a thing, he pulled out of you, hot cum spurting onto your stomach. He slumped next to you, obviously spent.

“Holy shit,” you muttered, scanning the room for something to wipe the cum up with.

“Holy shit is right, doll,” Jack said. Sweat beaded along his brow and he cracked open an eye to watch you wipe up with a shirt that was so full of holes it was unwearable. Silver moonlight filtered through the dirty window, casting shadows across his beautiful face. You laid down next to him, feeling a small shiver run through you as he curved his warm naked body against yours.

You would tell him, you decided. You would tell him you knew who he was looking for, and that you might know where to find him. But in the morning, so as not to mar the beautiful just fucked haze that enveloped your mind.

Tagging @sharkbait77 because she's lovely and I'm nervous about this one.

[laceymorganwrites]

Sundress

Word count: 1,437

Pairing: Osamu x fem!reader, former Kuroo x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, bad plot, VERY ooc Kuroo, SLIGHT MANGA SPOILERS

Song: Sundress - ASAP Rocky

A/N: I like the idea I had with this, the execution...not so much (Also I blame @miyaniacs for being in Osamu hell. Like damn, I thought liking Atsumu was enough, but no, they´re a package deal. Gotta love both of em)

Fuckin' with the wrong man Said she fuckin' with the wrong man Ever since she left me

Every person in your life left a mark on you, whether that be bad or good. No matter how small of a role they played, they always left something within of you. That was just how it worked.

Sure, nobody ever really thought about that, it was a natural part of growing and learning, making friends, them leaving, you develop and find new ones, you make new acquaintances every day.

Of course the same applies to relationships, only in a greater scale.

I guess she fell into the wrong hands, yeah And now you're f-in' with the wrong man, man For you that meant getting immense trust issues and insecurities. Even during the last moments of your last relationship.

You always wondered how you ended up like this when it started so beautifully.

Kuroo and you were friends back in high school, never thinking that anything more could happen. But it came naturally, if Kuroo Tetsuro was your close friend it would almost be a crime not to fall for him.

And he did too, or so you thought.

After you broke up you realized that he never cared about you in that way and didn´t want to hurt you. Your relationship was built from lies from the beginning and it hurt ever since you realized that, it never stopped hurting even though Kuroo has long since vanished from your life.

The whole time you were together, it left you craving more. It was like nothing changed, he never made any efforts with you, having to either study or work. You were the only one who suggested date nights he then stood you up on.

Maybe you were doomed from the start.

You took some time away from me, I see you made your mind Just read the signs, it's clear to see, I'm tryna make you mine 'Cause love is blind, your hurt is fine, to heal, it takes some time

You hated still thinking about Kuroo after all these years, after you found love again in another man.

When Osamu first came into your life, you were wrecked. Absolutely. Kuroo left his marks on you, clear to see for Osamu.

But that wasn´t why he was with you, he didn´t pity you at all, didn´t feel sorry for you. Instead he could see the wonderful lively traits in you that you had long since forgotten. You were so strong and he wanted to make you see that again.

Wounds from past relationships heal slowly, but never completely vanish. Osamu wanted to be there for you through it all.

Something inside of you inspired him, you were the first person who showed him that marks left by others don´t always have to be bad. I guess she fell into the wrong hands, yeah And now you're f-in' with the wrong man, man

Kuroo still thought about you, about all the mistakes he made and how badly he wanted to make it right. He should´ve never dated you, so everyone told him. But he knew better. He did feel a lot for you at the time and you did for him as well. So where was the problem? Sure, he never told you anything about himself, but that was private. You should´ve understood that. And yeah, maybe you didn´t go on dates, but he was busy. Didn´t you support him? Wasn´t it supposed be the way that you´d give each other space? You were just too clingy for him, maybe you just weren´t ready for a serious relationship yet.

Oh well, he couldn´t really change that. At least he tried. He did try to think about where it all went wrong, but he couldn´t pinpoint it. You even refused to stay friends with him as you broke up with him. That hurt a lot and Kuroo never understood why.

Tokyo trips, shoppin' sprees full of gifts I remember we would dream about kids Tryna get that V with that crib Back when you used to be's with that Crip Gotta give a little to get A little bit in return now, tables turn now And you heard 'bout me and my bitch I'm just tryna chill 'Cause lately I've been thinkin' bout you and rebuildin' Walking round like you lost feelings I can tell he not fulfilling You in love with me still They say only if looks could kill, for real You walk around town with that guy When you pass by, I just laugh like

“Oh, (Y/N), it´s been a while. Who´s your friend?” Kuroo approached you while you were still in shock seeing him again. At Osamu´s shop out of all places. You and him were eating together like always in his break when he just waltzed in. Osamu looked at you in concern, holding your hand and squeezing it tight. It wasn´t just that you were reunited again, that was inevitable. But for him to actually come up and talk to you? It was too much.

Especially since he made it seem as if everything was fine between the two of you.

“Boyfriend actually” Osamu said sternly, glaring down Kuroo. You felt your chest swell with pride. You knew that no matter what Kuroo was going to say, it wouldn´t matter. Osamu was here for you, protecting and caring for you. He was the kindest and gentlest soul in private, but when you told him about Kuroo and the marks he left on you, he was fuming. Osamu didn´t understand how anyone could treat you like that, taking you for granted like that, like a bother. It made him angry beyond anything else.

“Ah, so you´re my replacement” Kuroo chuckled, coming even closer, making you snuggle close to Osamu who put an arm around you.

“I´d rather call it an improvement, so why don´t yer tell me what the fuck you want from my girl and fuck right off, would ya?” Osmau stood his ground, glaring daggers at Kuroo who only laughed.

“Aw, we´re just having a friendly chat here, isn´t that right, (Y/N)?” he said in a cold tone that made shivers run down your spine.

“It´s alright, babe” you said and caressed Osamu´s arm.

“She used to call me that too, miss me that much?” Kuroo grinned, making Osamu grit his teeth. What the hell was his problem? Was he only here to taunt you? “Do ya really think she´d miss the guy who broke her heart? Who´s the reason she´s got trust issues? Do ya even know what a wreck she was after what you´ve done to her?” Osamu spoke up, almost growling.

Somehow even though this situation made you beyond uncomfortable, you felt safe in Osamu´s embrace.

“What I did to her? Come on, it wasn´t that bad. She broke up with me because I was busy with work. Not my fault, I just didn´t have any time. It´s kind of her own fault for trying even though she knew that” he nonchalantly explained and it was in this moment that Osamu lost his composure.

“What the fuck is wrong with ya? You don´t treat a girl like her like shit! You make time for her because she´s worth every fucking second. I´d never put anything above her, that´s just a fucking dick move and she was right to break up with you. You´re selfish and entitled and honestly just a prick. So do us three a favor and leave us the hell alone” he raised his voice at Kuroo who sighed.

“Damn, you´re petty. That´s not a cute look. But if that clingy chain makes you happy, good for you I guess” he scoffed and left the restaurant.

Osamu pulled you close to him and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“What an ass… glad yer not with him anymore” he commented, making you chuckle just a bit.

“Naw, is my princess smiling again?” Osmau gently placed a hand on your cheek, stroking it and smiled at you, his eyes full of adoration.

You nodded, giggling a bit as you hugged him.

“I love you, thanks for being there for me all the time. I don´t wanna do this without you” you mumbled into his chest, feeling his warm hands stroking your back.

“I love you too, don´t ever worry about that jerk again. I´ll show you how you deserve to be treated” he stated, determined to make you forget all about your ex. I guess she fell into the wrong hands, yeah And now you're f-in' with the wrong man, man

[kkmm32]

So I made a Frenrey Fic-

I haven’t had two characters to ship together in forever and haven’t written since school ended so wHY not get some practice with both of em? At once??  Now don’t worry, it’s fluff (lord knows theres too many NSFW HLVRAI fics out there already...) and it’s probably like- mediocre but thats ok!!  So anyway, without further ado I bring you “Northern Lights” Enjoy!

It was late out when Gordon found himself staring up at the ceiling yet again.  How many times had he done this?  Three?  Five? Twenty?  it's not like he had bothered to count.  He had found himself startled awake by all too real nightmares countless of times, staring up at the ceiling or the sky, wherever they had decided to sleep.  It's true he had faced aliens, the military, death, to put it simply, right in the face hundreds of times while on their journey and at this point his nightmares should be just like any other day... or well any other day past the incident.  But unfortunately the human mind couldn't adapt to such things easily and thus his trauma forced him to relive the scariest moments of his life over and over, whether he liked it or not.  It's not like he hadn't tried to go back to sleep before, even if his dreams had caused him to wake in a cold sweat more times than he cared to mention.  But every time he tried he found himself too...awake, for a lack of a better term.  His mind had already been tossed into fight or flight mode and it would take a while for it to return back.  He had no choice but to wait it out every night.  Most times he would just lie there, motionless, staring up until he felt his eyes begin to droop, but he found himself too bored this time.  He had the need to move, do something.  The memory of his nightmare flashed in his mind and he'd rather distract himself from it than let it fester.

He hoisted himself into a sitting position, groaning as he felt his sore muscles tense.  The days of fighting and running around had left quite the toll on him and he could no doubt feel it.  He looked around groggily.  They were still in the rocket launch room, the "Science Team," as Coomer had called them, was sleeping peacefully, although they looked like they were in the most uncomfortable poses.  He chuckled slightly at the sight, though quickly regretted that as he felt his chest ache.  He let out a sigh and glanced over at the windows.  He couldn't make out much, as the moon and the stars were the only light illuminating the outside.  He did, however, notice the outline of a figure.  He almost jumped out of his skin when it moved to look at him.  He was taken quite aback at first when he saw who it was.

"Wuh...Benrey?  Is that you?" he asked hesitantly.

"In the flesh." Benrey replied in his unmistakable stoic voice.

"But...how?" Gordon started, puzzled.

"How what bro?  You gotta finish your sentences, Feetman."  Gordon huffed slightly at the jab.

"I mean- how are you here?  Didn't you get, y'know, incinerated by the rocket?"

"I jus' respawned bro.  Like a..uhhh...video game character or whatever.  Like Steve minecraft."

"Right, right, you can't die..."  He let out a long sigh and stared past Benrey, out at the sky, or at least what he could see of it.  "What are you doing up this late anyway?  Shouldn't you be sleeping?"  Benrey glanced at him, almost a glint of… confusion In his eyes.  He quickly shook his head though and went back to staring into nothing.

"Gotta keep watch brooo, can't let any of those military dudes get y- get us."

"I guess that makes sense..."  There was silence as Gordon struggled to come up with something to talk about.  He wasn't particularly a bad conversationalist, per se, but when it came to Benrey you never know what could send him into a flurry of nonsense.  It was like traversing a minefield, one wrong word and he'd become incomprehensible...well, more than he already was.  His stream of thought was cut short, however, by a high pitch sound that made his nose scrunch.  He turned back to Benrey, who was surrounded by colorful orbs of light that started at pleasant orange and dipped into a light blue.  They glowed faintly around him, lighting him up in an almost majestic way.  But as quickly as they had appeared they faded.  Gordon sat there for a moment before shaking his head slightly.  "Orange to blue?  What does that mean?"  Benrey looked at Gordon for a moment, almost contemplating, before stating-

"Orange to blue means a song for youu"

"So you're just...singing?"

"Yeah bro.  What, you got a problem with my singing or something?  Lil Feetman can't stand my tunes?"  Gordon growled at the comment.

"No I juST-"  Before he got any further with his sentence he took a deep breath and sighed, which prompted Benrey with a slightly puzzled look.  He glanced away as he stated "It just surprised me is all, usually they have meanings or something, or they like- have some purpose.  I didn't expect them to be for entertainment.. and your singing is pretty nice actually.."  Gordon was almost baffled at his own words.  It was unlike him to compliment Benrey, especially after he had just insulted him.  And, when he glanced back up at Benrey, it appeared he was caught off guard as well.  He let out a high pitched pink and quickly turned away.  "Pink?  What does pink mean?

"Itmeansyou- you stink!" Benrey quickly retorted, still turned away.  Gordon let out a huff of annoyance.  Just when he thought he was getting on some kind of good terms with Benrey.  He shuffled to his feet, giving a glance a Benrey.  He had turned back to look at Gordon but unfortunately his face wasn't lit, and Gordon couldn't tell if he was smugly smirking or not.  He turned away and made for the door that led outside, he figured it'd be best to get some fresh air.

He made it over to a comfortable looking ledge, or at least as comfortable looking as a ledge can get, and sat down, gazing out into the sky.  Gordon hadn't really gotten the chance to look at the night the past few days, what with being stuck in the stuffy halls of Black Mesa and all, so it was nice to finally relax and gaze out at the stars.  Of course, it wasn't long before Benrey was making his way over to antagonize him some more.  He plopped himself down beside Gordon, a rather blank expression on his face as he stared at him.

"What, have you come to insult me some more or something?"

"Naw bro just gazin' " he replied nonchalantly, though Gordon could swear he saw the slightest flicker of hesitance in his eyes.  He sighed and stared back out at the stars with Benrey.

It was sorta nice to just sit in silence and let his mind wander, even if Benrey was right there beside him.  As he let his thoughts drift he slowly came back to the sweet voice.  It was quite the marvel honestly, and he wondered why he hadn't questioned it before.  Benrey wasn't human, that was obvious, but how exactly did he get the sweet voice?  Was he born with it?  Was it something he learned?  Was the sweet voice even learnable?  He knew Tommy could read it but he wasn't sure he himself could use the sweet voice.  Actually, how could Tommy even read the sweet voice?  Who taught him how to?  Benrey?  Why would Benrey teach him how to read sweet voice?  Now that he thought about it Benrey never really explained the sweet voice at all.  Gordon knew it had properties, that was for sure considering it magically calmed his nerves countless of times before, but outside of that it was more or less a mystery.  Benrey seemed to be the only bearer of it though and nobody had ever really asked to know more about it...maybe all he had to do was ask and Benrey would tell him?

"Hey Benrey?"

"Wuh?"

"How exactly does the Black Mesa Sweet Voice...work?  Like- how do you read it?  What do the different colors mean?"  Benrey seemed to freeze for a moment before tipping his head to side with a smile, glancing away.

"That's classified info ffffeetman."

"What do you mean it's classified?  Are you going by Dr. Coomer's logic because I'm pretty sure that doesn't apply in our situation anymore-"

"Sorry bro, can't break the Black Mesa roolzzz."

"Why would Black Mesa issue a rule for the entire facility that only applies to ONE person?"  Benrey simply shrugged, which only further enraged Gordon.  He was about to speak again when Benrey promptly covered his mouth with his hand and stared Gordon down.

"Look bbbro I can't tell you, it's as simple as that, ok?  Just chill..." He removed his hand from Gordon's mouth and stared back up at the sky calmly, his stern look gone.  Gordon gave a grumpy huff and turned away, staring towards the ground.  Benrey glanced over at him, and looked towards the ground himself.  There was a moment of silence before it was Benrey who was the one to break it this time.  "You said you couldn't like....'sleep' or whatever right?"  Benrey asked, catching Gordon off guard.

"Yeah..?  And?"

"Just like- wait with your eyes closed for like.....uhhh.......5 seconds broo you'll see."  Gordon turned slightly to glance at Benrey from the corner of his eye, curious.

"Why do I have to close my eyes?  What are you gonna do?"

"It's- It- It'll be like....a big surprise yooo.  Epic surprise, super poggers.  You wouldn't wanna ruin the surprise now would you?  Be a lil- lil party pooper- lil bitch baby man and ruin the surprise?"  Gordon gave a long sigh and, though he hated following Benrey's orders, covered his eyes.  There were a few moments of silence before Gordon could hear the distinct sound of the Sweet Voice.  It lasted for quite some time and Gordon had to use a good portion of his self-restraint to peak through his hands at what in the world Benrey was doing.  Why would he have him cover his eyes if it's just the sweet voice?

"Ok broo you can like- open you socket stuffers now"  Gordon cringed at that usage of words but removed his hands from his eyes regardless.  He was...stunned.. baffled.. amazed.. it was a range of emotions to say the least.  Benrey had somehow managed to spread a wide variety of pinks, oranges, and blues all across the sky above them like little fireflies.  They showered the area in a faint glow that looked..incredible and Gordon couldn't help but stare in awe.

"Benrey... you... how.. why'd you.."  Benrey settled down beside Gordon as he spoke.

"You said you couldn't sleep bro, doesn't uhh... pretty stuff help people sleep?"

"I mean I guess I just... I never expected you to.."  Gordon's words drifted away as he stared.

"What d'ya think tho?  Pretty poggers right?"  Gordon paused before turning to face Benrey as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Benrey it's... it's beautiful."  Benrey paused for a moment, almost as if he was processing what had been said before turning away, covering his mouth to keep any sweet voice from escaping.

"Well- psh- yeah duh.  I mean it's- ahaha- it's like...supposed to be bro.  Be pretty pointless if it wasn't, right?"  Gordon let out a hearty laugh at Benrey's response.

"Yeah, I guess so."  They stared up at the now colorful sky for a long while before Gordon spoke again.  "Hey Benrey could you..."  he paused hesitantly.  "Could you sing for me?"

"...Huh?"  Gordon quickly tried to make the situation less awkward by elaborating.

"Could you- could you sing for me?  To like- help me sleep?  Music usually helps people sleep and the Sweet Voice is pretty calming and I was just thinking-" before he could finish his sentence Benrey abruptly cut him off.

"Sure bro"  He began to sing out blue's and oranges once more and Gordon found that, while looking at the colorful orbs in the sky, though there weren't much left, and listening to Benrey's voice, he felt very peaceful for once.  It had been days since he had felt even a smidgen of peace and somehow, sitting here with Benrey, it was stronger than ever.  As he felt himself relax, leaning onto Benrey, his eyes began to droop and soon he was plunged back into the dream world.

[shimmershae]

Sometimes logic is the most, I don’t know, logical thing to apply to a situation.

Because Daryl Dixon has shown every*damn*body who his number one priority is this season.

He’s dropped wholeass conversations and pretended like people in front of him were all but invisible to meet Carol Peletier halfway on a dock when her ship come in and sweep her up in his arms and off her feet in the most exuberant and happily relieved hugs ever and essentially ignored the rest of the people loitering around because his vision narrowed strictly to her.

Right before that, he blew off discussions and scouting trips to investigate whether the latest big bad threatening the communities’ safety had returned in favor of waiting for her ship to come in and he continued to blow the whole situation off to get Carol alone for some quality just Carol and Daryl time.

Knowing the Whisperers were still out there, he still daydreamed of escaping to somewhere new and leaving everybody behind—everybody except Carol because she’s the only person he can envision actually escaping for and with.

The man made her a friendship bracelet and flirted and blushed in her presence like an awkward dork with a crush.

He expressly told Carol he needed her to stay.

He bodily restrained her from taking a second shot at Alpha when the bald baddie taunted her and he looked past any misgivings he might have had to tell her he believed her about the Whisperers nobody else had seen but Carol.

Before that, he came running when Carol screamed his name in that old school and fat chance convincing me he didn’t help carry her injured ass all the way to the same infirmary that he waited outside of like a worried husband.

He’s made her dinner trays with flowers, looking out for her physical well-being when she’s been lost in her ongoing grief and he felt powerless to help with it.  

His thoughts, this season, have rarely strayed from her and his eyes have been open and watching out for her because he wants to be her safety net while she’s been struggling so very much with Henry’s loss and her consuming need for vengeance. I mean, granted. Daryl Dixon is no fuss, no muss pretty much 24/7, but have y’all ever seen a man get his ass ready that quick to follow a woman without some kind of promised benefit to him? Yeah. Naw.

He did his version of getting the Dixon flirt on again when they were tossing acorns at a can—because they be cutely competitive af.

Daryl Dixon when teased by Carol Peletier about whether his budding friendship with a sweet and seemingly perfect fellow community member could be more?  Deadass told her with utmost seriousness and sincerity that it wasn’t like that—not at all.

And then proceeded to pocket the double capper acorn Carol gave him as a good luck charm right over his heart and later gaze at it longingly in the privacy of his own room.

When they were doing their good cop/bad cop routine with the captured Whisperer, Daryl only really lost his cool when the Whisperer made some lewd and disrespectful comments to Carol.

The man has argued for her to sit the more potentially dangerous missions out and remain in the relative safety of Alexandria.

When she went along anyway? Again she was his primary focus. So much so he stopped her from walking into a literal trap, called her on her bullshit, and comforted her when the tears come in a way that honestly? Daryl Dixon has never really shown the inclination to do. By thumbing her tears away from her cheeks, hugging her tight and nuzzling her hair while telling to tell him. To open up to him with her feelings and her fears. And that they “have a future.”

Carol was so much in his sights on that same mission that he immediately recognized when her attention strayed and sent their group running after her into the unknown.

He followed, of course, and Carol’s name was the only name that ever passed from his lips. She was the first person he sought out in the darkness. The first one he encouraged to follow him to relative safety.

When her claustrophobia reared its ugly head, he was the one informing others so that they might offer their own comfort and he didn’t stand a second for Magna getting all up in Carol’s face.

He asked Carol to follow his light when her claustrophobia had her frozen. Everybody else, including a dear sweet deaf woman and her sister—also losing her hearing, were told to follow his voice. 🤦‍♀️

He let Kelly’s ass somersault at his literal feet and gently tugged Carol to safety.

He followed her back into that dark cave and pleaded to her with tears in his eyes and emotion tightening his voice to come back with him and he was all about getting her to safety when that faulty dynamite slipped.

Daryl Dixon didn’t even look back to make sure any of his other friends and community members had made it out of that cave until he knew Carol Peletier was a safe distance away.

Try convincing me his ensuing emotional breakdown wasn’t just as much, probably more about Carol breaking her recent promise to him to think more clearly and be more cautious. Helpful word of advice? Stop while you’re ahead.

Instead of scouting out an alternative way back into the cave to possibly rescue C0nnie and Magna later? The man tried to singlehandedly take on the source of so much of Carol’s grief—Alpha herself, when he so recently discouraged Carol from such a lone wolf action—and ended up seriously injured as a result.

Back at Hilltop? In spite of the hurt he felt, Daryl told Carol perhaps the truest truth there is when he said “I’m never gonna hate you.”

During this same time frame, he made little reference to the two people lost at the cave. Not because he doesn’t value their lives because he does. But he values the community’s overall safety more and the only times he’s ever been shown to blink in that regard? It’s always been because of Carol Peletier.

After the fall of Hilltop, when he and Negan crossed paths and Negan alluded to Carol as Daryl’s girlfriend? Daryl doesn’t even blink. And whereas before, the safety of the community mattered more? The man chills with someone he deadass hates waiting patiently all night for Carol to come back to him. Let’s not even talk about how many hours he probably paced and waited inside Alexandria’s gates.

So. Who do y’all suppose has been Daryl’s number one priority all damn season? Huh?

I’ll give you three guesses and the other two don’t count. Just for giggles I will demonstrate who it ain’t by giving a basic outline of the kind of focus her bond with Daryl has gotten.  

At the beginning of the season, Daryl was on his way down to the docks to wait for Carol’s boat to come in with he crossed paths with a new friend and Dog happily sought out pets because what Doggo of any salt or intellect will turn down pets from a pair of kind hands that have fed it before?? Daryl and this friend shared a cute little two second convo that was interrupted and abandoned with his first sight of Carol waving at him like he was her sweetheart there to welcome her home and this friend basically ceased to exist from that moment until her sister went missing for a short while.

Daryl, already being present after accompanying Siddiq to Hilltop and caring about the overall welfare of the communities and such, helped in the search for Kelly and even told this new friend a funny story about his own (departed) sibling as a means of comfort and gave her hand a reassuring maybe two second long squeeze.  Honestly?  There were so many echoes of his friendship with Denise when I see these two together.  So many.  But I digress.  

Once Kelly was found and safe, Daryl’s attention reverted back to form and he didn’t linger at Hilltop.  They had a weird little interlude where I still can’t figure out whether she was trying to butter him up to keep her own family’s secret or was genuinely welcoming him as a fellow found family member.  

Anyhoo, their paths didn’t even cross again until they did a combined search for Alpha’s horde and Lydia and Daryl acknowledged her with a shoulder tap to get her attention—I mean, he was approaching her from behind and she couldn’t hear him so.

What little bit of interaction they had in the cave basically came about because of Carol and I gotta tell you. The man deadass forgot she existed when he was trying to help get Carol out of there.

We’ve already kinda covered what I thought about his reaction to the cave in, but I will say this. Leave y’all with a little food for thought: if Carol was underneath those rocks, can any of y’all logically see the man leaving there for any reason short of Judith and RJ being in immediate danger?

Can you? Because I can’t.

If they had managed to tear him away even briefly, his ass would be right back first chance he got. And suppose he’d run into Alpha in the meantime. I don’t think he would have attacked her until he found a way to get to Carol. Naw. That attack was all about Carol (and maybe Lydia) from the word go. Else Daryl would have been smart and patient and found his way in that damn cave to mount a rescue.

You know why?

Because logic. The story’s shown us the way this season. Logic and history. A whole ten fucking years of history.

Daryl Dixon can’t lose Carol Peletier anymore than she can lose him.

Only in the absence of all logic can anyone ever think differently.

Explains a lot, huh?

And some people are still up in arms over Daryl simply soldiering forward and not having the singular thought of C0nnie, C0nnie, C0nnie in his brain when his communities, his long established found family, and the one person he absolutely cannot lose still need safeguarding.  

I mean, he cares but Daryl done told every*damn*body already.  Take it from the man himself, the reason why.  

“It’s not like that.  Not at all.”  

I know logic isn’t really this show’s strong suit, but in this case?  The story has been leading us to one logical conclusion all season, and I don’t think it’s the one that some people out there are prepared to accept.  I mean, yeah.  I’d feel some kinda way, but.  

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Reunion Job

leverage 3.02

Madavhi: All my work, erased, and I was only days away from cracking Manticore.

Nate: What's "Manticore"?

Madavhi: It's an electronic surveillance system. The Iranian government uses it to track protesters over cell phones, social networks, even e-mail.

Hardison: Yeah, hacker underground's flipping out about it. They use GPS to pinpoint a dissident, and then they swoop in and make the arrest.

Madavhi: The Internet made this protest possible, but now it's just a –

Nate: A liability? The government uses the people's weapon against them

- - - - -

Nate: "Cyrus"? It's "Mr. Madavhi." You can't get that attached.

Hardison: Fine. "Mr. Madavhi." He could go make a fortune working for Google or Microsoft. No, instead he risks his life fighting the bad guys. This is so our game.

Eliot (at the table behind them): He wasn't hit by the Vezarat. (comes around to sit with Hardison and Nate)

Nate: What, are you lurking?

Eliot: Yeah. I'm a lurker. It's my thing

- - - - -

eliot’s smile and raised eyebrows (x2) at hardison tho

+ he’s also wearing a red flannel with his leather jacket

- - - - -

Hardison: What's the Vezarat?

Eliot: That's the Iranian secret police. And trust me, if they wanted Cyrus, he wouldn't be sitting here talking to us.

Nate: But the Vezarat is still our logical target. So we should check our sources and see if there's a safe house in the area.

Hardison: So we're on this?

Nate: Yeah, well, we were always on this. I just wanted you to explain to me why. (gets up and heads for the Poker Room)

Hardison: You know how I feel about Mind games, Nate. Negatively. What are you looking at, lurker?

ELIOTS SMILE

- - - - -

Sophie: Eliot. Eliot, get rid of it. Ugh!

Eliot: (chuckling) I think he likes you.

Sophie (stands): You're gonna pay for this

eliot: mocks her

sophie: imma get back at you SO HARD and you’re never gonna see it coming

- - - - -

“That’s gonna cost ya” “I gotta dock ya”- hardison and eliot like a million times in this episode

- - - - -

Parker: At the East corner. (pushes vent out and enters the room) For a den of evil spies, this place smells delicious. Hardison, confiscate some pastries. (sits down at computer) Okay, no sign of Cyrus' hardware.

we love seeing parker in vents in her element + CONFISCATE PASTRIES FOR HER

- - - - -

Nate: Any of you ever trimmed a bonsai?

Eliot: Well, you know, I did. I was in Osaka, and I met this Japanese policewoman at a geisha bar....

- - - - -

Parker (to Sophie): Why is Eliot pouring your tea? Hmm? Did you brainwash him again?

Sophie: Mm, neurolinguistic programming. It's amazing what you can do with the power of suggestion. "Sugar." "Squeezed." a few strategic pats on the arm.

(Sophie pats Eliot on the arm and he pours her more tea, then realizes what Sophie has done)

Eliot: Damn it!

Sophie: You owe me for that roach business!

Eliot: Sophie, not again. (walks away)

okay but SHES DONE THIS TO HIM BEFORE LMFAO + a bonus parker and hardison laughing

also parker was eating a plate of pastries so that means thE BOYS GOT SOME FOR HER I LOVE IT

- - - - -

parker and hardison go into the office and be like 👀👀👀 wow he’s lonely

- - - - -

Eliot: Nobody else thinks it's weird that you can just buy anybody's yearbook online?

Hardison: You know, it's real cute, man, how you still believe in privacy

- - - - -

Nate: Here we go. Uh, Mrs. Zavransky, math teacher. Now, I bet if we turn to the cheerleaders... (turns page) Yes. Oh, Mandy. Mandy Babson.

Parker: What does the "DD" Mean?

Eliot: Yeah, right...

Nate: Seriously?

Hardison: Yeah, right. Two scoops of ice cream, just perfect.

she’s baby leave her alone

also bless hardison for not wanting to tarnish her

- - - - -

Parker: Aw, I feel bad for the nerd.

Eliot: Don't feel bad for this guy. Getting bullied in high school Is still no excuse for propping up dictators. He got bulled his whole high-school career. He's not criminal.

Sophie: Um...

Parker: Yeah, he is.

Sophie: Don't think about that.

Eliot: Not a bad criminal.

Hardison: Hey, what makes you think I got bullied in high school?

Eliot: Well, "A," You got a green hornet doll.

Hardison: Well, first of all, it's a limited-edition action figure. Second, it is green lantern. Educate yourself.

Eliot: Wow.

Hardison: Now pay attention. Get it right.

eliot “not a bad criminal” spencer knows that hardison is a good person with solid morals

also, eliot to some extent knows about hardison’s action figues which means that he has either seen them or hardison has told him specifically that he had them. this means that they have had, even if eliot seemed annoyed, some sort of conversations/hardison-talking-at-him-conversations and eliot LISTENED to a certain extend that he was able to recall this

- - - - -

Nate: Guys, wait, wait. Listen, listen. We got a locker combination, we have a teacher's name, and we have a crush. So, Duberman, he has made his old high school his Roman room.

Parker: Of course.

Nate: "Of course"? What's a Roman room? You have no idea, right? You know—

Parker: Nn.

Nate: You don't have any idea? It's a, it's a memory technique. Each of his passwords corresponds to an object in a space that he's intimately familiar with. In his case, the hallway of his old high school where he kept his locker. Now, if I were to make this bar my Roman room, everything I need to remember is right here. For instance, This, uh... My bank password would be "Balmoor." And my e- mail password would be Fitzy, here.

- - - - -

Parker: Hey. Nate just gave us his passwords.

Hardison: No, but I got all his passwords. You want to see his Netflix queue? He's got, like, every season of "Rockford files" every season of "Sex and the city," That show "Psych”.

chaotic children

- - - - -

Parker: You want to break into the high school? I could do that blindfolded. Yeah let's do it blindfolded.

HER HER HAVE FUN

- - - - -

Hardison: What do you know? Class of '85 has a reunion coming up in 8 months.

Nate: Hmm.

they all smile conspiratorially and eliot’s smile in specific gave me serotonin

- - - - -

(Parker sets up a video camera and walks past a board of photos)

Parker: So many awkward people in so many ugly outfits.

[Interior Van]

Hardison: Yeah, you're lucky you never went to high school. Nothing but heartbreak and homework.

[High School Gym]

Parker: Didn't you go to your prom?

[Interior Van]

Hardison: Uh...I was kind of busy.

[Flashback]

(a teenaged Hardison is sitting at a computer making a transfer from the Bank of Iceland)

Hardison: Looks like the Bank of Iceland's paying off Nana's medical bills. That's dope!

[Interior Van]

Hardison: Good times

- - - - -

Hardison: Besides, I'm sure you already had your high- school fun. Big man on campus. What, quarterback?

[Flashback]

Kid: Come on, Eliot. This is so lame. Quarterbacks do not take Home Ec.

Eliot: I got my reasons.

Kid: Phew! Let's get out of here.

Girl: Eliot, like this. (leans over Eliot, showing her cleavage) Knives are like people. It's all about the context.

[Exterior Dubertech]

Eliot: I had many interests

- - - - -

hardison getting too into the high school drama lmao

- - - - -

Hardison: Not exactly. (looking at information on monitors) She's a hired gun.

[Hallway]

Sophie: An assassin? Nikki’s an assassin?

[Interior Van]

Hardison: Yeah, I guess we weren't the only ones with the bright idea to pose as alumni. This chick's connected to wet work jobs All up and down the East coast. Russian mob, Italian mob. There's a New Zealand mob?

her name is miranda miles *squints at the file on hardison’s computer* bruh no way she’s only 25 ??? they even give her height and weight but I guess that’s how all wanted files go

also in one of the commentaries didn’t they say that she was married to that other assassin ???

- - - - -

(a piece of door falls in and the Vezarat leader looks in)

Vezarat Leader: The health inspector?

Eliot: I'm gonna have to dock you again

LMFAO

also he’s wearing a grey flannel under his jacket

- - - - -

(Eliot knees the leader in the face, then pulls him up and punches him in the head. He turns to duck a blow from the other man and hits him in the head with one of Duberman’s chess trophies)

Eliot: Checkmate.

(Eliot throws the trophy down on the man. Behind him the leader stands up and cracks his neck)

Eliot: Or not.

he did the lil flip thing with the trophy

- - - - -

(Sophie hits Nikki in the head with the extinguisher and takes off her shoes)

Sophie: I always hated cheerleaders.

(Nikki swings several times and Sophie blocks each blow with the extinguisher, hurting Nikki’s wrist)

Sophie: It's mean girls like you that always ruined high school for the rest of us!

Nikki: What the hell are you talking about?

(Nikki kicks but Sophie moves to one side. Nikki tries to punch but Sophie blocks with the extinguisher. Sophie dodges a kick and hits Nikki in the head, then pushes her down and runs away. Nikki grabs her gun and fires after Sophie, missing her)

Nikki: Damn it

- - - - -

Nikki: Now, why would I do that?

(Parker walks forward and tasers Nikki in the neck)

Nikki: Ohh!

Nate: That's why.

(Nikki falls to the ground, convulsing. Parker grabs her legs and starts to pull her away)

Parker: Catering, what a business

we love to see parker tasering people

- - - - -

on today’s edition of things that aren’t weapons that eliot uses as weapons, our guy literally used one of the goons’ bodies to hit another goon and send them both down

what a king

- - - - -

Mandy: Your votes are in for the king and queen of the reunion! And the lucky winner is, Grace Peltz and Drake McIntyre!

Schmitty: Mac attack! Yeah!

(the crowd escorts Nate and Sophie forward)

Nate: Uh, very funny, Hardison.

Hardison: Oh, you think I did this? Naw, man, I don't rig elections. I mean, I could, but...

Sophie: Parker, Was this you?

Parker: (hanging upside down) I didn't even know they had kings and queens in high school

- - - - -

Hardison (looks up): May I have this dance, miss?

(Parker lowers herself on her line and they begin dancing)

Parker: So this is what high school was like, huh?

Hardison: Ah...Pretty much.

Eliot: Hello?

[Exterior Dubertech]

(Eliot walks out of the building as Sloane gets to his feet)

Eliot: Everybody having a good time at the dance? Anybody wonder if Eliot made it out?

(Eliot punches Sloan, who falls back into the bushes)

Eliot: Does anybody wonder if Eliot's alive? Hello?!

[High School Gym]

(the two couples continue to dance as the music plays)

🥰 parker’s feet not touching the floor 🥰

also aww poor eliot someone care about him pls

[lokilickedme]

The Ballad of Best Buy, or The Song of Samsung

So husband is gagging for a new tablet after breaking his old one (don’t ask, suffice to say I now have something new to bring up next time he starts acting like a dick) and he thinks Best Buy would be the best option for acquiring said tablet.  Best Buy is one of the few places around here rabidly enforcing masks and distancing, so I agree to go with him, because A) he’s useless and B) he’s useless.  Tom, I say (yes husband’s name is Tom, lucky me, that doesn’t cause any weirdness for me during intimacy AT ALL) - Tom, you’re useless, you know this right?  And he says yeah, because that’s the right answer and he might be useless but he’s not completely stupid.  I’ll go with you, I say, but you gotta behave.  He says yeah okay, because again he’s got enough smarts to realize and accept the simple fact that I’m the only way he’s gonna come home with the correct device.  So we mask up and hit Best Buy under the pretense of he’s gonna act right and I’m not gonna come home with yet another thing to yell during our next fight.

You know how the Best Buy guys are, right?  In your face until you need help, then suddenly nobody works there.  So we’re hanging out in the Samsung department and it’s been several minutes, and husband isn’t a patient guy, he’s already pacing and acting stupid.  I go to the front and snag myself an adorable little bluevest in the interest of not having an incident, we need help in the Samsung tablets department I say, and adorable bluevest says yeah sure I’ll send somebody over.

And then he doesn’t.

And he doesn’t.

And he doesn’t.

And husband is acting stupider and stupider as the minutes go by, which is a situation you don’t want to find yourself in.  We’ve been back there like 15, 16 minutes now, which to normal people isn’t a huge deal but this isn’t a normal person, this is Tom and he’s about to morph into the final boss from Altered Beast in the Samsung section of Best Buy, and we’ve tried to wave down multiple bluevests who all just keep on going, so I’m heading for the front to snag another more trustworthy bluevest when I turn around and all I can do is start to yell

NO

NO

NOOOOOOOO!!!!

It’s one syllable, I should be able to get it out in time but naw he’s already done it before I get to the N part and there’s nothing left to do now except go stand by him and wait for the cops to come because dipshit has yanked the security alarm dongles out of every Samsung tablet on the display table.  All of ‘em.  Best Buy (the whole damn place) starts making this noise like the aliens have not only landed but are assfucking every male on the planet with pinecone encrusted cricket bats soaked in red chili oil while the women cheer and now I’ve got a decision to make - I can stand there and point at him when security finishes their break and finally puts in an appearance or I can blame the bluevest that never sent help, but the thing is NOBODY COMES -

Kid you not, we wait what feels like longer for someone to come shut off the screaming alarm sirens than we did for the nonexistent help guy to show up and now the exits are locked, people can’t come in or go out and we’re all going deaf because there’s nothing louder on Earth than the alarm dongles in Best Buy.  And they just let these things scream for no kidding several minutes and it’s bouncing off all those tall warehouse walls and the TVs are vibrating and people are yelling, dogs are dropping dead in the PetCo next door and me and Tom are standing there by the Samsung tablets and he’s holding all the dongles in his hand and I figure we’re in this now, might as well own it, so I stand there smiling next to my gigantic scary looking husband until a haggard scowling bluevest finally comes with a set of keys bigger than my head and starts frantically searching for which devices are actively destroying the eardrums of the 50 or 60 customers currently complaining at the front of the store.  Husband tosses his handful of dongles onto the display table and the bluevest gives us A LOOK

It’s like a full minute before he gets all the alarms deactivated and as soon as the last one shuts off he turns to walk away and I say HOLD ON A SEC

This guy looks like he’d rather liaison with the pinecone aliens than perform customer service on us but we came in here to buy a Samsung tablet GODDAMMIT and we’ve been ignored to the point of committing a misdemeanor

So I launch into the ten or so questions that I already know the answers to but that husband needs to hear from someone in a blue vest because, ya know, I’m a girl and all and he’s like that, and bluevest begrudgingly answers them all and tries to walk away again so I’m all HOLD UP

He sighs and turns around again and I ask husband is this the one you want?  He says yeah I think it is, can we get one of these please and the bluevest gets down on his knees to get one from the locked case underneath the display and we hear this godawful sigh that might as well have been as loud as the damn dongle alarms and then he says

“They’re out of stock.”

Geezus christmas I’m eyeing dongles myself now

Okay how long till they’re back in stock?  Two days, but please don’t come in here to get it, we’ll have it shipped to your house.  I’m laughing and Tom is eyeing more dongles and this guy just wants to get away from us so we say yeah okay thanks and btw we coulda walked out with like 20 of these things before you showed up, he says yeah thanks for not doing that.  We gather our kids from the gaming department, bathe ourselves in the hand sanitizer at the exit and go two doors over to Target where the Samsung tablet he wants is on sale for $20 less.

Long story short Samsung tablets are nice but yanking all the dongles out at Best Buy to protest shitty service is a dick move and you shouldn’t do it but if you’re with a Tom and he does it, don’t forget to grab one of those HOW WAS YOUR VISIT TODAY? questionnaire thingies on your way out and write his name on it with a confession to the dongle incident and drop it in the mailbox in front of Target while he’s getting the car.