the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me
just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.
like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.
in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.
how am i supposed to act normal about this.
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I like the idea that Cross realised Killer was touchstarved (he didn't have the words for it but he noticed how much Killer would settle down from it) and started giving him very small basic affection. Pat on the back, hand on the shoulder, maybe a quick friendly hug, all things he probably learned through royal guard training and thinks of as normal friend/coworker stuff.
But as they both got more comfortable in the routine of it, Killer started instigating touches and he was not shy about it (like not just leaning into Cross's side during movie night, he looks like he's trying to get into Cross's jacket with him)
And that this more intense affection made Cross realise he might also be just a little bit touchstarved
Bonus:
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❤️ Sebastian Solace Cuddling Headcannons❤️
Warnings: N/A
◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟
• Honestly, considering how much of him is covered in scales? This man stays cool.
• Like a pillow that you've just flipped over to the cold side, but he stays that way literally all the time, not cold enough to chill you but definitely not a source of heat of you're already chilly
• All that said he is 100% a cuddler
• He doesn't produce enough heat to warm himself to a comfortable human temperature so that's what you're for : )
• His chilly ass clawed hands will creep up your warm sides and squeeze, already pushing up against you because GOD you are just a cute little toasty thing, aren't you?
• Has probably snuck up on and spooked you with the former bullet point
• If you aren't careful he will just grab you and stick you in his coat so he can have you with him for the day
• Wants to cuddle frequently, even if it's just holding your hand, he'll take what he can get
• Man's starved for any affection, please treat him like he's desirable and not a giant fish creature
• The way he curls up with you under the blankets in his makeshift bed, snuggling in the back room behind his shop that he calls his own, is so loving and sweet when no one's looking
• He's mean and sassy and rude but when you're having the good snuggle time you aren't getting a WORD of it, he needs the good touch and isn't gonna push it
• You only get any of this if he trusts you. A lot.
• He wraps his body around you like a Snek, frequently doing those little tongue flickies
• The ear fins? Wiggling. The fishy tail? Waggling. It's very easy to guess how pleased he is with any amount of affection and attention that you have to give him
•. . . No matter how hard he tries to convince you like five minutes after you're done that he finds you annoying, know that he loves you, it's just hard for him to admit he likes the attention verbally
• Holds you like you're a beautiful ocean treasure and he is the sea monster that guards it ❤️
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