#a custom made message for me!

[asteraceae-blue]

[landinrris]

didnt martin just release his replay merch recently and wasn't the launch event yesterday? how the hell did lando get the shirt so fast 😭 ...unless.... 👀👀👀👀👀

It's worse actually! As far as I can tell, that shirt was never for sale 😀

[sappsorrow]

do you have any tips on seducing a beloved mutual (affectionate)?

Don't get it twisted y'all, @ferrame did the seducing. I was in oblivious lesbian hell. She sent me an illustrated love letter sprayed with her own perfume and I was like "she probably just means this as a friend though"

[tiercel]

NEED everyone to look at the anniversary gift boyfriend gave me. Im so fucking silly its unreal

[courierrsix]

My previous workplace makes me so so fuckin mad I got stream coming out of my ears like a cartoon

[steaksex]

its probably gonna b some sort of emo dog boy loll :3 i like the idea of him being breeding stock or just kept in a lab in general and just ~happens~ to frequently end up in vulnerable positions with his boycunt exposed for everyone to use :3 -🐾

YAYYYYY YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YAHOOOOOOOOO YIPPIEEEEEEEEEE ouhhhh pleaaase keep me updated... i may be able to make a guy to interact!!! someone sleazy who gets to take full advantage of free puppycunt, something like that... ouuuuuu I LOVEEEEE SLUTTY CHARACTERS YAYYYYYYYY JUMPS UP AND DOWN !!!!!!

[theshadowrealmitself]

Anyways, so what I was originally going to talk about was my one experience with this really annoying customer a couple years back

So part of how my job worked was that you could start the in store position at 18 (I think full service was different), and they would just make it so if you were below 21, you wouldn’t get any orders with alcohol

And their policy was that a customer could add items to an order after you started shopping, but they weren’t allowed to add alcohol if there wasn’t already alcohol in the order

The reason for that is because they had a whole bunch of checks in place for an alcoholic order to make sure the customer was legally and safely purchasing it (I say safely because I know that if a customer seemed too intoxicated when a driver showed up, they weren’t allowed to let the customer have the alcohol, and instead had to refund it)

But if it was an order with no alcohol in it, there were no checks in place, so to make sure underaged kids weren’t placing orders then adding alcohol afterwards to try and game the situation, the shoppers just straight up weren’t allowed to add alcohol to the order, we could instantly lose our jobs and even get arrested

So! (You can probably already see where this is going), I get an order with a ton of energy drinks, soda and chips, as I’m about to head to checkout, the customer messages me to add some white claws, I let them know about company policy as well as the fact that (at the time), I was underage so I couldn’t even buy the alcohol

They weren’t having it.

Wouldn’t read a word I typed, kept insisting I add it and that other shoppers have let them add it in the past (definitely had to be lying about that)

So I just keep messaging them over and over again that what they were asking for was illegal, on several different levels, as not only did we have no way of confirming that they were old enough to get alcohol, but also I wasn’t old enough to buy it for them

I had to go get my shift lead to message them

And it’s one of those situations where even now, a couple years later, I’m still annoyed and stressed by it, like what did they want me to do??? Risk jail time and losing my job to get them white claws ???

(I’m sad that I never did get to find out if it was a lazy adult who just didn’t want till fill out the ID stuff or if it was a kid trying to sneak alcohol)

[rosicheeks]

Have you ever thought about PayPal so your Australian fans can buy lil miss Rosi nudes? 🤭🥺

I’m sorry I’m never going to use PayPal 😔

BUT I do have another option for my Australian friends 😌

[faerociousbeast]

dudes im tearing up

[wondergirl]

HELP the guy at my work who thinks he's a genuine internet celebrity (20k followers on tiktok and 6k on instagram🙄) got a giant ass gold chain with his username on it and is going around forcing customers to say its cool and then Google him

[leviiackrman]

Okay I need someone to come explain baldur’s gate to me because I’m intrigued but know nothing about it!!

[landofgay]

it's almost overwhelming how perfect he is actually like. if ever I was to design the perfect guy to find in this town he would be it

[shae-la-hyene]

New hair !!

[hon3y-y]

Roomie!sukuna doesn't even get horny for anyone other than you anymore. You have the wettest, nastiest pussy he's ever seen- and he deserves the best so nobody but you will do. You're fucking so many other fine men now that you dont even give him a second glance when he walks out the shower in just a towel to tease you. And oh, his temper when one of your hookups pick you up and you don't come home for the weekend. Or even worse, they stay for the weekend. Sukuna has never let a girl sleep over at the apartment but now there are two colognes in the bathroom, two pairs or men's shoes at the door, and he can almost never see you in the living room without some other man hanging off your side

read the other parts here! : part 1 part 2 part 4

he’s literally so embarrassingggg it’s not even funny. he’ll walk around and flex his muscles, smirk on his puffy lips as the water drips down his ripped torso. he stands outside your open door, you’re looking down at your phone deciding on whether to spend the night at choso’s or nanami’s (pick choso, nanami gets up at like 5 am 🙄), “showers empty..” sukuna basically purr’s, resting his arm on the doorway.

and you literally could not give less of a fuck💀

you just nod, mumbling a ‘thanks’ as you focus on putting both their names in a generator and letting that choose your fate for the night. let’s just say sukuna was extremely angry when a motorcycle pulls up and you just giggle and hop onto it, kissing the stupid leather clad boy while throwing on the custom bikers helmet choso had made for you. and to top it off, sukuna had to physically restrain himself from blowing up your phone on where the fuck you are??

messages;

ryo<3: didn’t see you this morning

you: i’m staying with choso for the weekend! sorry, should’ve told you last night:/

you: i also won’t be home after wednesday satoru is taking me to this festival! i’ll send pics😋

ryo<3: have fun 👍

omfg he’s losing it. he literally will spend the whole time in the gym, refusing to be in the empty apartment for longer than eight hours for sleep. he feels like there’s a cement brick in his chest when you’re whisked away by these men. but nothing is worse than when he stays over.

he being satoru.

it was becoming a huge issue. his longest “sleepover” was a week. a week where you weren’t even home for half of it. but sukuna was. he was there for all of it.

there was now a third toothbrush taking up countertop space in the bathroom, he would find satoru’s clothes in the wash (which would always somehow be in there whenever ryo specifically had to use it??), and gojo absolutely loved to make out with you everywhere but inside of your room and sukuna started to hated it. publicly claiming you in front of the guy who literally made it possible🙄 unbelievable.

let’s just say you take a break from bringing satoru over, doing your best to settle the tension at home. but sukuna couldn’t let it go, not when he stares at the stupid fucking blue electric toothbrush and knows that it’s only temporary.

at this point he didn’t even give a fuck about the other guys, you can keep them as long as he’s added onto your roster.

it’s been a while since the two of you had a movie night. something that used to, at the very least, happen once a month has been delayed due to your extra activities. the two of you relaxed into the couch, the movie was a random one you found choosing whatever looked the best by cover and for the first time in a while, sukuna felt like he had you.

“did you buy the candy?”

“shit, yeah. i think i left it in my room?”

“go get it while i make the popcorn!” you smiled up at him, your eyes sparkling excitedly. you looked so cute and soft, and ryo got a glimpse of your cute pink panties when you bent over to grab something so he was feeling just as good. he could already picture the little damp spot he’d create after teasing you and then force you to beg and make it up to him.

he thought about it the whole walk to his room, picking up the bag and then back to the living room, fantasizing about what he plans to do. and just as he’s about to turn the corner, a head of white fluffy hair is laying on your lap, legs spread to take up the full length of the couch. and the only seat available? the one farthest from you.

“i hope you don’t mind, satoru said he missed us!”

us… sukuna looked down at gojo, looking at the content quirk in his lip while he snuggled into you more, moving one of your hands into his hair to play with it. ryo’s eye twitched before he put the bag down and went back into his room, the door slamming behind him. the noise makes you force satoru up, a pit forming in your stomach. you didn’t want sukuna to feel uncomfortable in his own house—

“damn, what’s he so mad abo- he got macha kitkats!? mmm~”

*bonus*

sukuna is literally in his room about to dry heave because??? what alternative version of himself gave him such bad karma?!? in his room like this;

but quietly, because he DEFINITELY doesn’t want you to see him like this. such a fein🤦‍♀️

a/n: i didn’t put smut because i didn’t want to get repetitive BUT should we finally let sukuna get a taste?? part 4 where he finally gets her?? lmk🫶

*not edited*

[wrioluvr]

text messages with your cute sub yandere boyfriend ☆

cw: reader is implied to have a cock, no pronouns used, fingering (yandere receiving), kinda wholesome

[name'swhore]: darling!! i changed my username for you!! do you like it?? (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭♡ [name'swhore]: darling....? (;´Д`) [name'swhore]: please answer me...... (ㅠ﹏ㅠ) [name'swhore]: ...... [name'swhore]: *audio message of him crying* (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) [name]: damn bitch i'm at work i'll ttyl [name'swhore]: bitch? can you say that again? (,,o//o,,) [name]: ........bitch? [name'swhore]: i just fingered myself to your message.... please call me your bitch more often. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ [name]: ooookaaayyyyyyy.

feeling like teasing him a little, you smirk as you type out the next message. you imagine the expression he makes as he reads it.

[name]: want me to do it for you when i get back? [name'swhore]: do what? (´･ω･`)? [name]: finger you. [name'swhore]: ... [name'swhore]: YES. yes. yes. please. a million times yes. ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ [name]: be good and i will. and no hole pics. i almost got fired last time because i opened your message in front of my boss. [name'swhore]: right. sorry. please don't be mad. (´ε｀；) [name]: send me another hole pic and i won't fuck you for a month. [name'swhore]: I'M SORRY!!!!!!! (˃̣̣̥△˂̣̣̥)

work was tiring today. you laid on your bed staring at the ceiling of your room, musing over a difficult customer you had to deal with hours prior. your serene expression was contrasted by your boyfriend's flushed face, who was currently curled up into a ball by your side, squirming as his tight hole was being ravaged by your tender fingers. you knew all his sweet spots, being able to ruin him even without fully paying attention. a rather loud moan brought you back from your thoughts, forcing you to be made aware of the mess your boyfriend had made all over your bed. the boyfriend in question was also currently lying face down, breathing heavily, trying to recover his composure. his hole continuously puckered as you pulled your fingers out, causing him to shudder. out of the corner of his eye, he peeked at you, upon seeing your unimpressed expression, trailed his eyes down to look at your crotch.

"you're not even hard...." he observed, not bothering to hide the obvious dismay in his voice. "are you... are you sick of me?" his mind races to find anything he could have done wrong. "i won't send you any more nudes unsolicited! i'll... i'll pick you up from work everyday!! i'll let you abuse my hole-"

"you let me do that already...."

"....i...i don't know!! uh..."

"god, calm down. i'm just not really in the mood today. sorry...." you decide to be nice and pat his head comfortingly as he lies back down, exhausted. "you want to hear about my day at work?"

he nods frantically, perking back up as he listens intently to your rambles. although he was a bit of a pathetic slut, domestic life with him was nice. maybe you'd fuck him properly next time...