#a friend of mine suggested that idea and i think that it'll work great on helping me get less nervous 😅

[viulus]

Y'all I'm finally using a dating app, so that I can FINALLY fuck someone for the first time... Help 😵

[hyunlixsbbygirl]

♡︎ Studio Secrets

That time when a day in the studio proves to be more than just recording some vocals and playing around with track curation.

──❥ pairing: chan x hyunjin x felix

──❥ length: 4.5k

──❥ warnings: 18+, idol au, smut, threesome, friends to lovers

──❥ note: the characters don't represent real idols; this is a work of fiction intended for entertainment purposes only. this in no way represents nor reflects real life. this work has been cross posted to ao3 under the username thishippiekid.

© hyunlixbbygirl do not copy, translate or repost my works

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"That sounds great Lix, I personally would add a little more bass in the chorus but not too much, you don't want it to overpower the chorus but you don't want it to be too soft either," Chan instructed as he watched the younger Aussie's fingers glide over the soundboard. The two had been in Chan's studio for the better half of three hours, just mixing sounds together and coming up with lyrics for Felix's next solo. 

"I think I want there to be some groans and moans in the back during the second chorus, what do you think?" Chan thinks for a moment, trying to figure out how it'll sound in his head. "I think it'll sound amazing. Do we need to record them or do you want to cycle through the ones 3racha recorded?" Felix opens up the folder on Chan's laptop marked 3racha other vocals and scrolls through the sound clips. 

"I honestly have no idea..." Felix replied, not fully paying attention to what Chan was saying. The sound of the passcode being entered grabbed both boys' attention as they turned toward the door to see Hyunjin slip into the studio with his backpack flung securely over one shoulder. "Hey guys, I figured you'd still be here. How's the song coming along?" he asked as he dropped his backpack on the floor near the couch opposite the two. 

"It's coming along great, Lix really is learning fast. We might need to add him to the producer group." Chan beams, he really is very proud of his soulmate. "He's thinking about adding in some groans or moans into the backing for the second chorus, what do you think? Who's groans or moans should we use? I have Jisung's, Changbins, mine, and surprisingly some of yours too." Chan says as he takes over scrolling through the sound clips. 

"Shouldn't you use Lix's? It's his song, after all, the groans should come from him." Felix blushes at Hyunjin's suggestion and lets out a nervous cough. "We could! You wanna try recording some Lix? You don't have to but imagine what Stays will be saying when they realize the groans in the song are you. They'll go absolutely feral." Chan starts as he pulls the microphone from the piano nearby and sets it up in front of the youngest member. 

Felix feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, "I uh... how do you even... wait what?" Hyunjin chuckles at the cuteness of the younger being so shy. "It's really easy Lix, for the groans Jisung and I tend to like pull each other's hair or kick each other. Sounds barbaric I know but... actually never mind it's exactly what it sounds like but it produces great results." Chan continues as he plugs the microphone into the laptop.

"I'd rather not have my hair pulled or be kicked, can't I just like... fake it?" Felix asks nervously. He had just gotten his hair rebleached so his scalp was understandably sensitive right now and knowing how strong Chan was, even if he tried to kick lightly, it still would hurt. "You can always use my clips Lix, I bet we sound similar anyway. Stays might not even notice that it's not you." Hyunjin says as he walks over to the other two. 

"Let me listen to your clips first and then I'll decide if we need to record them or not, but, I do think you're right. If anyone, you probably sound the most similar to me in terms of random noises." Felix replies as he starts scrolling through the audio clips looking for the ones marked Hyunjin specifically. To his surprise, Chan had at least 20 clips of just Hyunjin moaning and groaning. He clicked on the first clip and immediately the sound of Hyunjin moaning filled the room. 

"Jesus Hyunnie." Felix breathed out, his cheeks dusting with a light pink blush as the lewd sounds echoed in his ears. "Oh yeah, Hyunjin probably has the best moans out of us all. I only got to use them once because they're so seductive sounding." Chan smiles as he pats Hyunjin on the shoulder. Felix hit the space bar to pause the clip when the moans began to become louder and almost needy. "How the hell did you record these?"

Hyunjin smirks and gives Chan a quick glance; "We have our ways." he replies simply. Felix shakes his head deciding he really doesn't want to know the truth behind these moans as he plays the clip again. "Hmm, this one sounds too... erotic." Chan decides halfway through the clip. "The song is more... powerful rather than sexy. At least according to the lyrics we have so far." the older continues as he looks at the dates next to each clip trying to recall what they sound like. 

Chan clicks on another clip and once again the room is filled with the lewd sounds of Hyunjin moaning; this time a little softer with more air to the moans. "Ooh, I like this one," Hyunjin mentions as he leans over Felix slightly. "I don't know... he actually doesn't sound all that much like me. You can tell it's Hyunjin, his voice is higher pitched than mine." Felix says with a slight pout. "Well then we have no choice, you'll have to record your own clips," Chan states as he opens up the recording application.

Felix takes a deep breath, "Okay, I'll try but this is awkward... like am I just supposed to moan?" he asks. "Basically, I mean it depends on the mood you're going for. If you want just simple moans, then just moan. Otherwise, you might need some...assistance." Hyunjin winks. Felix audibly gulps as Chan adjusts the settings on the microphone. "Okay Lix, just relax and think about... how you feel when your muscles are killing you after an intense practice." 

Felix nods and takes another deep breath before letting a small moan out. It's almost too soft for the microphone to pick up and Chan motions for him to continue but this time louder. Felix tries again but the other two can tell he's struggling to really let himself go. "Ugh this is too hard, can we listen to Jisung's clips?" the youngest asks. "If you thought my moans were too high pitched to pass off as yours, then Jisung's really won't pass." Hyunjin giggles. 

"He's right Lix, if you want them to sound like you, you have to record them yourself." Chan continues. "Can you record yourself first? Maybe I'll be able to mimic if I can see how you do it first." Felix suggests. Chan looks at Hyunjin who just shrugs; "I do need more clips of Hyunjin moaning for the danceracha unit song." Chan states as he moves the microphone closer to Hyunjin. "You have to help me again though, I'm not in the mindset for this right now," Hyunjin mentions.

Chan nods and hits record, he then moves to stand behind Hyunjin and presses his lips against the younger's neck earning a surprised expression from Felix. Hyunjin closes his eyes and focuses on the feeling of Chan's lips on his neck; the way his breath lightly sweeps across his skin and the gentle bites he begins to leave. Before Felix can fully comprehend what's going on, Hyunjin's mouth opens slightly and soft moans begin leaking out. 

Felix's eyes widen, he made it look so easy; granted Chan was helping him by seemingly turning him on. The light blush on Felix's cheeks spread to the tips of his ears and he shifted in the chair a little to adjust himself. Hyunjin gave Chan's arm a light tap and the older bit down harder earning him a louder moan that was more lewd than the previous ones they had heard earlier. Chan moved his hands from Hyunjin's back to his waist and then eventually up his torso and chest. 

Chan tapped his fingers against Hyunjin's abs before moving his fingers to the younger's nipples once Hyunjin gave him a slight nod; their silent communication surprised Felix greatly. The two were now pressed against each other; Chan biting and kissing Hyunjin's neck while his fingertips teased his nipples. The room filled with the sounds coming out of Hyunjin's mouth; soft sighs, deep moans, and high-pitched whines.

Felix felt himself getting hard in his jeans; he couldn't help it. The way Hyunjin looked with his eyes closed and lips parted as moan after moan spilled from his plump lips. His hands found their way to Chan's waist behind him, holding him as close to his back as possible; it was pretty pornographic from Felix's point of view. Hyunjin tapped twice on Chan's arm and he ceased his actions immediately, hitting the stop button on the laptop and saving the file. 

"Was that long enough Channie?" Hyunjin asked a little breathily. "I think so, at least for now. I'll have to let you know if I need more once I input it into the track." Chan replies before he turns his attention to Felix again, "Okay Lix, you think you can mimic Hyunjin?" the oldest asks. Felix squirms a little but nods even though he knows he wouldn't be able to produce noises that sensual on his own. 

"Let me just listen to the clip real fast to make sure the microphone picked it up okay." Chan says as he clicks 'play' on the clip he had just saved. Hyunjin's moans began flowing into the studio once more; Felix squirmed more the tighter his jeans felt on his body. Hyunjin smirked once he noticed how Felix squirmed in the chair below him; Chan on the other hand was engrossed in silencing the sound of the air con in the clip to notice. 

Once Chan had finished and saved the clip again he turned toward Felix again and noticed that the younger had his legs squeezed together and his face was flushed. He nodded to Hyunjin who slowly spun the chair so Felix was facing him; Felix was avoiding eye contact with the two older members. Chan opened up a new audio recording window and pressed record, giving Hyunjin a thumbs up to start. 

Hyunjin knelt down so he was more level with Felix's eyes, he placed his hands on Felix's thighs to steady himself before lifting the younger's face so their eyes met. Felix's breathing was staggered and heavier than normal, his eyes were glossed over with need and his lips were slightly swollen from biting them so hard. Hyunjin bit his lower lip as he looked over the younger carefully; he had to admit that Felix looked absolutely beautiful when he was so needy. 

"You're so...pretty Lix," Hyunjin whispered causing Felix to blush even redder. The younger made a small whimpering sound as he adjusted the way he was sitting again; he was uncomfortably hard now and didn't know what to do with himself. "Let me help you..." Hyunjin continued, he placed a hand on the younger's cheek and brushed his thumb across his lips before leaning in and pressing their lips together. 

Felix made a startled sound but quickly settled into the kiss; wrapping his arms around Hyunjin's neck to hold him closer as he felt the older sliding his tongue into his mouth. Both boys let soft sighs slip from them; Chan moves the microphone slightly closer in order to capture the sounds. At first, Hyunjin just wanted to help Felix record his clips, then he wanted to help him get some relief, but now that he was kissing the younger; he wanted to make him feel amazing. 

Hyunjin slides his hands underneath Felix's hoodie finding that he's not wearing a shirt underneath, his skin is heated with desire and he can feel his ab muscles tighten when he lightly traces his fingertips over them. Felix moans softly at the older's touch, his back slightly arching off the chair as Hyunjin slides the hoodie up his torso and eventually breaking the kiss to pull it off of him completely. 

Felix shivers lightly at the cool air hitting his heated body but he soon is distracted from the sensation when Hyunjin kisses him again; his fingertips now tracing over his collarbones and down towards his nipples. Chan moves to stand behind Felix and bends down so he can place little kisses on his neck causing Felix to let out a slightly louder moan to escape his lips. The older smiles against the younger's heated skin; the sounds the younger was making were pure gold. 

"Does little Lix need his hyungs to relieve him?" Chan nearly growls into his ear, Felix arches his back as Hyunjin licks over his nipples causing them to become hard and sensitive. The moans are flowing more naturally now as Felix is touched and kissed by his two members; his body becoming increasingly more sensitive as time goes on. Chan bites down on the area that connects the ear to the neck causing a particularly loud moan to escape the younger. 

Hyunjin moans into Felix's mouth when he feels the younger run his fingertips along his waist and abs; Hyunjin had been so focused on making Felix feel good that he didn't realize how needy he was becoming himself. His hands move from Felix's nipples; being replaced with his mouth instead as he lets his hands drop to Felix's bulge and palm him through his jeans. "Mhm...Hyunnie..." Felix moans before Chan presses his lips against his, replacing Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin unzips Felix's jeans and taps his thigh so he lifts his hips up just enough for him to slide his jeans and boxers down. The cool air hitting Felix's heated length has him whining for contact; Hyunjin has other ideas though. His mouth finds the creamy skin of Felix's thighs as he sucks and bites bruises into the pale skin causing the younger to squirm underneath his touch. Chan has his fingertips rolling over Felix's nipples as they make out with each other heavily. 

When Hyunjin starts kitty licking Felix's tip, he practically melts off the chair. His body is overly sensitive to all the touching he's receiving; he squirms under the two older member's touch as moans pour from him every few seconds. Chan pulls away from Felix, smirking when he hears the younger whine from the loss; "That's it, baby boy, let us hear you moan and groan for us." Chan tells him as he adjusts the microphone again. 

Hyunjin takes Felix completely into his mouth as he looks up at the younger through his eyelashes; Felix looks so pretty with his mouth hanging open, silent moans slipping past his plump and swollen lips, his eyes closed as his tongue rolls over his bottom lip every few seconds. "He's so pretty like this, look at our baby feeling so blissed out already just from your mouth Hyunjin." Chan nearly growls as he palms himself through his shorts. 

Hyunjin lets Felix's cock fall from his mouth as he licks his lips and looks up at Felix again; "He really is. Fuck I wish we had done this sooner so we could see this beautiful boy squirming like this much sooner than now." Chan hisses as he watches Felix reach for Hyunjin; he's extremely needy now and the lack of touches was making him cold. "Carry him to the couch, let's really make this angel of ours feel good." the older winks. 

Hyunjin does as Chan says, he lifts Felix from the chair, gripping his thighs until the younger wraps his legs around his waist. Felix sighs when he feels his cock pressed against the bulge in Hyunjin's sweatpants. The older sits down on the couch making sure Felix is fully straddling him; he then presses their lips together again. Felix slowly begins to move his hips so their cocks are rubbing against each other through the fabric. 

Hyunjin moaned into Felix's mouth as their tongues fought for dominance; Felix's hands slid underneath the older's shirt and pulled it off swiftly as he felt Chan come up behind him and do the same to his own shirt. Chan had moved the microphone so it was closer to the couch so he could get more audio from them all; he knew the sounds they were about to make were going to be incredible and if he ended up not being able to use them for new tracks, he'd always have them in his secret file for later. 

Chan pressed himself up against Felix's back and started kissing and sucking on his neck again; leaving light pink marks on his creamy skin despite knowing he shouldn't. Felix leaned back into the older and tilted his head to the side to give him as much room as possible; Hyunjin reached between them to pull his erection out of his pants and stroke them both off until it was time to take things one step further. 

Felix's moans filled the studio along with soft sighs and groans from the older two; Chan absolutely adored the way the younger's moans sounded. His voice was deep with lust but filled with so much need that he was whining while moaning at the same time. It was like music to his ears. "Need... you..." Felix moaned to neither member in particular, he didn't care which one did it, he just needed to be fucked. Now. 

"Who baby? Channie hyung or me?" Hyunjin asked as he adjusted his grip on their cocks a little. "Hyunnie..." the younger moaned after a few seconds. Chan moved away from the two and walked over to his desk, "Lay him down on the couch for me." He instructed Hyunjin as he opened up a drawer and dug around for a small bottle of lube that he kept there just in case 3racha needed extra help recording their audio clips. 

Hyunjin moved the two of them so that he could gently lay Felix on the couch on his back, the younger whining from the loss of the older. "I know baby, just be patient. We'll relieve you soon," he whispered softly as he caressed his cheek gently. Chan walks over to the couch and hands Hyunjin the bottle of lube before kneeling at Felix's side, "Spread your legs for Hyunjin okay love? He's going to prep you." the older told him, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Felix did as he was told and spread his legs for Hyunjin as the older flipped the cap open and spread some of the cool liquid onto his fingers before warming it up a bit; Chan pulled Felix towards him and pressed their lips together. The kiss was more gentle than it had been thus far, soft sighs escaping both boys as they got lost in the feeling of each other. Hyunjin rubbed the tip of his index finger against the tight ring of muscle that surrounded Felix's entrance. 

The youngest sighs deeply at the feeling, his back arching off the couch ever so slightly; carefully, Hyunjin slides his index finger inside of the smaller boy and slowly begins to finger him open. The feeling isn't completely new to Felix as he will occasionally finger himself but Hyunjin's fingers feel different; their longer and thicker, and he's able to reach the spots Felix can't on his own. After a few moments; Hyunjin slides a second finger into him, the fit is a bit tighter but it seems to be okay. 

Felix doesn't even flinch if he feels any sort of pain; he's completely lost in the bliss of not only being kissed by their leader but also of being touched by the two members he trusts the most in the most loving and passionate way. Chan moves his hand from behind Felix's neck to his nipples again; rubbing the small buds between his fingertips until they're hardened. Felix arches his back up more forcing Hyunjin to use his other hand to hold his hips down. 

"Stay still baby, I have to prep you properly so I don't hurt you," Hyunjin tells him as he continues pumping his fingers in and out of him. Felix was opening up to him so well though, he really knew how to control his body and get it to relax when needed; the older member adored this side of him. "Think you can take another finger baby boy?" Hyunjin asked. Felix nodded and grabbed Hyunjin's hand needily giving him the okay to add another finger into the mix. 

Hyunjin slowly and gently slid a third finger into Felix, holding his hand still as he stretched around his fingers and adjusted to the new size. It stung a little but overall it wasn't bad Felix only whimpered at the start but quickly started moaning again to indicate that Hyunjin could continue his transgressions. Felix's hand moved down to stroke himself needing to get some relief as Hyunjin fingered him harder once he was stretched out enough. 

Felix nearly screamed when Hyunjin's fingers brushed over that one sweet spot deep inside him; his cock twitching and his breath hitching at the same time. Chan pulled away from Felix for a moment to watch as he squirmed and moaned under Hyunjin's touch; "I think he's ready for you." Chan tells Hyunjin. Hyunjin pulls his fingers out, smirking when he hears Felix whine in protest. As Hyunjin smears lube onto his cock, Chan hovers over Felix's cock waiting for the right moment. 

Once Hyunjin is well lubricated, he teases Felix's entrance with the tip of his cock and watches as Chan kitty licks Felix sending his body into over-sensitivity mode again. The two older members have to hold him down so they can carry out their transgressions properly, each smirking as moans and sighs spill from the younger. "Hyunnie...please..." he nearly begs; he needs to cum so badly it almost hurts but he knows that when he eventually does, it's going to wash over him hard. 

Hyunjin enters Felix nice and slow; moaning as he feels the tightness around him. He has to pause a few times so he doesn't cum from the sheer tightness of Felix's entrance; it's nothing like he's ever felt before. "Fuck Lix... you're so tight. God, I could cum right now" Hyunjin grunts. Chan shakes his head at Hyunjin's words unable to believe that the younger could so easily let himself go before giving Felix the ride of his life. 

Once Hyunjin bottoms out, Chan sucks Felix's cock into his mouth as Hyunjin begins thrusting into him. The younger squirmed more than he had been this whole time feeling overwhelmed by all the sensations he was feeling. "How does that feel baby boy? Tell daddy how he makes you feel." Hyunjin tells him, Felix can only manage a few moans and sighs in response. Chan looks up at Hyunjin and questions him about the use of 'daddy'. 

Hyunjin just shrugs not wanting to explain that he's secretly been dreaming about the day he'd get to fuck Felix like this, having him whimpering and moaning under him, having him call him daddy in order to get what he wants. Hyunjin didn't think he was that kind of person but when it came to Felix; he could easily become someone different. Chan feels Felix pulsating in his mouth and eases up on the sucking wanting Hyunjin to get closer to his release before they bring Felix to his. 

"Mmmm...d-daddy... please... harder" Felix moans as Hyunjin laces their fingers together. Chan is completely shocked by how the two younger members are acting with each other, he had no idea they'd both have a daddy kink yet here they were. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't hot as hell even though he'd be a little weirded out being called daddy himself. Hyunjin happily obliges to Felix's begging and thrusts into him harder and harder. 

Felix runs his nails up and down Hyunjin's arms, his moans increasing in pitch and volume as he feels himself getting closer and closer to his release. Chan recognizes the tone and starts sucking him off again, taking him deep into his throat and swallowing around him as he moans; the vibrations from his vocal cords coursing through Felix. Hyunjin grips onto Felix's thighs so he can hit his sweet spot over and over again; he too feels his release getting closer. 

Chan begins stroking himself as he sucks hard on Felix's cock, the pulsating of the member indicating how close he was to his orgasm. "I'm gonna... c-cum... daddy... please..." Felix whines, his stomach tightening as his looming orgasm begins to rise. "Daddy too baby... cum for me. Cum into your leader's mouth, make me fill you up." Hyunjin moans out. All this dirty talk has Chan feeling on edge too though his mouth is too preoccupied to let them know that. 

With a few more thrusts and hard sucks the two older members have Felix shaking when he finally cums hard; releasing into Chan's mouth as his moans become high-pitched and breathy. "That's it baby... oh fuck," Hyunjin moans feeling Felix tighten around him. It doesn't take much longer before Hyunjin spills his release deep inside Felix with a loud grunt; Chan continues to suck Felix clean of his release as he cums all over his hand. 

It takes several minutes before Chan lets Felix's cock slide out of his mouth; his breath slows to a normal pace as he tucks himself back into his shorts. Hyunjin had laid on top of Felix once his release had stopped and Felix was still shivering; his body was completely overly sensitive. Standing up, Chan hits the stop button on his laptop to end the audio recording. He doesn't bother listening to it knowing he'll have to edit out all their talking later. 

Slowly Hyunjin pulls out of Felix and starts gathering their clothes from the floor, Felix on the other hand makes no effort to move even an inch. He's completely blissed out and just lies on the couch panting softly trying to pull himself back down to Earth. "So Chan... how do you think the recording came out?" Hyunjin asks as he steps into his sweatpants. "I'm sure it's fine, I'll have to listen to it later though - can't really spend the time on a second round." he winks. 

As Hyunjin gets himself dressed, Chan takes Felix's clothes and helps the younger get dressed. Sleep slowly threatened to take him over; "Is our baby boy tired now? Hyunjin fucked you so good didn't he?" Felix nods, "Too good...want more...too sleepy" Hyunjin chuckles. "You just came super hard and you still want more?" Chan asks as he pulls Felix into his lap and slowly rocks him from side to side. 

Felix nods but the feeling of being rocked in Chan's arms just makes him more sleepy and he eventually falls asleep on Chan's chest. "I cannot wait to hear what you recorded," Hyunjin whispers as he clicks around the laptop a bit. "What are you doing?" the older asks. "Just sending a preview of the clip to Jisung" Hyunjin replies with a sinister look on his face. In less than three minutes, Jisung opens the door with his phone in his hand and the clip pulled up on the screen. 

"How could you get Felix to moan like that without me?" He pouts. Hyunjin softly chuckles as he places his hand on the younger's shoulder, "Next time Ji, we promise." 

[a-non-ymouswriter]

Alright, let's talk Rewind (or my MCYT fics)

i think it's time to finally talk about rewind/remix.

or generally, just my mcyt fics in general.

it's been a while since i updated any of them and trust me, i am very much FILLED WITH GUILT over not updating or continuing them- problem is; i just don't have any motivation in them at the moment. my interest and motivation for them have waned, wilted and withered. the three unfortunate ws that arent wins.

i dont want to say i abandoned them, i hate the thought of abandoning ANY STORY and i like the thought of getting back to them at some point. maybe my motivation will come back, it has in the past and that's a great hope to have.

however i am aware that these stories have been gathering dust and it's possible that motivation will never come back and i hate that.

i know partially why i'm no longer interested? partially- it mainly started with techno's death. it just didn't feel the same anymore now that cc!techno was gone, but if things went differently then maybe i could've continued just as normal. but i'm pretty sure my motivation took a great hit when techno died.

another great hit to my motivation is the whole... thing with cc!dream??? WHICH I WILL NEVER EVEN POKE ABOUT, YOU CANNOT MAKE ME, I WILL IGNORE EVERY ATTEMPT. it felt weird writing about c!dream even though i should REALLY be able to separate the two, cc!s are different from fictional c!s and all that but for some reason i just don't feel too comfy writing him right now.

and since my main series of rewind and remix is MAINLY RELATED TO DREAM- you can see my problem here.

the dream smp is done, over, there is no season 2 and my interest in this fandom is only tethered by the occasional fanfic that i stumble upon and the numerous fanarts that come and go. that interest isn't enough to motivate my writing.

a funny thought though, is that i think i spent a LOT of motivation and kind of burnt myself out in the future back when i was DAILY UPDATING REWIND- like i don't know if you readers remember but i was updating DAILY on rewind. every day, FOR ALMOST A MONTH- something that might never happen again really and i'm still kind of proud of that.

but i'm pretty sure it was very unhealthy of me to do daily updates the way i did- it took A POWER OUTAGE to make me stop doing daily updates and i remember STRESSING OVER NOT UPDATING while the power was out. so yeah, i'm pretty sure i set myself up for failure there XD

but i'm so glad that i was able to at least finish rewind. my very first story that i completed. unfortunately i'm not too confident about finishing the rest of the series (and some other fics).

a friend of mine actually suggested something that i've been thinking about from time to time; i give you guys the outline of what COULD have happened. what i was planning on writing and then completing my works.

it sounds like a good idea but i didn't want to let you guys down in just, giving up like that. but nowadays, it sounds like a better and better alternative than to just wait for my motivation and interest to come back. it's almost been a year already for wishes and family, and remix, i managed to update stream labs a few months ago so that's hopeful but the others...

okay, i'm going to give YOU GUYS the choice here. i'll tell the ao3 readers about it as an important update author's note, but im going to make a poll about this choice soon and i'll even pin it on my tumblr.

it'll last- maybe two weeks? but yeah, it's the least i can do to see what you guys want.

EDIT: polls apparently only last a week, so it'll be up a week.

[another-clive-blog]

uhh okay I just have to get this out before i explode because it has been bouncing around my head so uh um what if Professor Layton was French and took place in France? Please please please dump everything on us I want to hear the lore and nuance of French Layton; whose names change, what are they like now, how does the story change because it’s Paris and not London (assuming because capital cities), that kind of stuff.

Maybe change Luke’s name to Luc or something. Not sure about Hershel Layton, though. Speaking of which I know Layton always says things remind him of a puzzle so I’d imagine he instead says ce me rappelle un puzzle and then when Luc solves a puzzle he says je l‘ai résolu, professeur!!!

Then there’s Clive “je préfère y penser comme la justice” Colombe (changed his surname there) because Guilluame Faucons blew up his parents or whatever

Rereading this I asked for the nuances of French Layton and then thought too much into it myself. whoops.

this started because i was thinking about slavic professor layton and somehow moved from prague to paris lol

!!! Alright I'll try to calm it with the maj and the exclamation points lol, but I want you to know I am very very happy and excited about this !! Professeur Layton woohoo !! And I am repeating myself but your French is amazing, Luke DOES say that kfjbhefhkb (Also you found such great names so fast how did you do that ??) I am going to focus on the French Adaptation idea (hence the screenshot) ! =) I think I will talk about actual French Unwound Future eventually, but it'll be its own separate post. I simply MUST focus on this first, like the potential and sheer fun of it ? I have IDEAS.

Names and setting (Oh yes we are going there) under the cut !!

Starting with the names !!

Hershel Layton : Definitely changing Layton, I guess Léton could work ? (Little reference to French BD Les Légendaires lol) Landon is very cool tho, it reminds me of London too ! For the first name you and a friend of mine suggested Herbert, which is a great idea but I'm not too sure about losing the Yiddish etymology :( Hershel could stay I guess. I did play with Léon Léton for a moment (Léon is French equivalent for Yiddish name Lejb + we keep the animal etymology) but it sounds really terrible lol, so up to you !!

Luke Triton : You're absolutely right he would be Luc Triton !! Middle name is most definitely something like Richard lol

Flora Reinhold : Definitely agree with Flore ! Reinhold is hard because it's Renaud in French but like,,, Renaud has CONNOTATIONS. (There is a French singer called that way and people often make fun of him). Soooo same friend came up with Flore de Raynald. Looking back, I'm not sure about the "ay" ? Anyway, I added the "de" because French people used to have one in their names if they were rich/noble !!

Clive Dove : Okay. Bear with me. Bear with me please. But Nicolas Colombe. Like you said, Dove = Colombe. But Clive doesn't have any equivalent in French : you suggested Clovis and I think it really is the best, most logical option (it does make him look like a 5th century king but also Clive is like that lol) !! However I did remember that Clive's Japanese name is Klaus, and Klaus is strictly equal to Nicolas in French. So yeah idk, Nicolas Colombe sounds like a Miraculous Ladybug name lol

Bill Hawks : You're 100% right, this is our premier ministre Guillaume Faucon. =)

Dimitri Allen : We had also come up with Dimitri Alain (it's either that or pronouncing it Allant, which is just ugly lol) so perfect !!

Claire Foley : I'll be honest I don't even know how Foley is supposed to be pronounced…? But it has something to do with sound in filmmaking apparently, so you know. Claire Echo or something

That's it for the names !! Now I simply NEED to talk about something really really cool- the setting. Why that you may ask ? Because there actually are caves underneath Paris, and they're not just any caves. (They're magic caves- alright sorry ijfginknf)

So yeah the caves under Paris are not huge oval caves like the one in Unwound Future, it's more like a series of corridors that go deep under the whole city. Also it is HUGE, like only 0,5% is open to visitors and this is already 1,7km/1,1 mile !! The best part ?? This 0,5%. It's actually an ossuary (Known as Les Catacombes de Paris). This place is very popular, people love to go there, and it's already been the setting of many many books- so why not you know ? Even though I know you couldn't/shouldn't build a mecha there (no room for it and you'd be destroying a real 18th century monument) + this doesn't really look like the future lol

But you could TOTALLY adapt the story so that Layton and Luc have to go to the Catacombs and then you have a sick setting and you could have booby traps, a not-so-subtle-but-very-cool life or death mood, and above all. You can have Clive being a madman spending all of his time six feet under in the catacombs. Gloomy. Upsetting ? Fun !!

Also the mecha should totally be on that stupid island in the middle of Paris. That or you replace the lighthouse by the Eiffel Tower.

[curryfury13]

The Start of It All

I know, I'm sure all of you want to know how all this started. No? Well, you're finding out anyway. Cheers.

A little over a decade ago, I fell in love. A lot of great stories start out that way, don't they? We got married and moved out of town for his work, then shortly after found out I was pregnant with our first child. Now, I'm sure you're wondering what this has to do with fan-fiction and Kingdom Hearts, just stick with me, it'll all make sense.

My body didn't like being pregnant. It fought me every step of the way, but I made it through and 9 months later we had a baby boy! He was absolutely perfect, but I had to be placed on bed rest for a few months afterwards. On top of that, we didn't have any family in the area, my husband worked far away without much paternity leave, AND because of me being sick most of my pregnancy I didn't really get much of a chance to get out there in this new place to make friends. Leaving little ole me home with a new baby. Both me and this adorable potato of an infant, miserable in my bed, staring at the ceiling for months.

It didn't take long for me to sob about it to my husband one night after a particularly lonely day, and he suggested I try writing. I'd just recently discovered fan-fiction—I know, I was really behind the times—and had mentioned in passing the idea intrigued me.

We spent the next week talking about ideas and creating this rudimentary story and original character. Then one morning my husband left me a laptop on the bed before he went off to work, and I spent the entire day writing.

Guys, you, person currently reading this, it awoke something in me. I think I got three chapters posted in a single day and people were already commenting and cheering me on! It was like this little tiny community was already building and I was bolstered in a way I hadn't been in years!

Which, I don't know how people were so into it, because reading it now, golly did I not know what I was doing. Great pitch right? Telling you I have no idea why people like a story I wrote a decade ago? If you give it a read, you can tell me the hidden gem inside it.

Anyway, that beginning grew and grew over the years. I finished that book, True Friends, just before my son's first birthday. Then the following book, Third Beginning, a year after that. The third book is still in the works today. A lot has happened between all that time. I've been in over a dozen fanzines, started a reader-insert KH Imagine Blog and wrote over 100 entries for it in under a year, started a Kingdom Hearts OC Week Event, made SO many wonderful, incredible friends in the community, and even my amazing husband started writing Kingdom Hearts fanfiction set in the same universe as my character, Hinata. We have a whole little Hinata-Verse series going on and it's grown in so many ways that I could have never expected ten years ago.

None of this is here for me to brag or wave some sort of pride, it's just here to share a story. If you know me, you know that I view fandom and OCs as a special part of a person's heart. Their creation means something and this is what Hinata means to my life. And not just her, but every one of the OCs in her story and all the characters I've met in the community. It's a passion of mine and this is my space to share it.

Thank you for reading <3

[byanyan]

" hey, you know what? i think you should let me do your makeup, i trusted you enough to let you do mine, so i think it's only fair that you should return the favor. " she likes to think that her makeup is flawless, so it should be easy for them to trust her, right? and besides, makeup is one of the few things she takes seriously, she wouldn't purposefully make them look bad, she actually cares about them too much to do that. " it'll be so fun! i always carry the essentials with me... eyeliner, lipstick, mascara, but if you want- and if you trust me enough- i can work with what you've got, i'm sure you've got more on you than i do. " ( from perona! )

ㅤㅤ" ...really? "ㅤthe suggestion is unexpected, and it has byan looking up from their phone, surprised. she... wants to do their makeup? it's a little out of the blue, seems like a kind of random idea to bring up in this particular moment, but... they aren't uninterested. in fact, they're quite keen on the offer. no one's ever wanted to do their makeup before. —well, okay, that's not entirely true; they can remember a couple times growing up where girls they were friends with would play around with makeup with them, but that was when they were a kid, it doesn't count. since then, no one has offered, so they're sure as hell not about to turn this opportunity down.

ㅤㅤ" that does sound kinda fun. "ㅤit actually sounds very fun, but they're trying to downplay their excitement here, mortified by the idea of coming off as too eager. pulling their lip between their teeth in an effort to fight back the grin that wants to spread wide, their eyes are the only thing which betray their air of nonchalance, sparkling with a cheery eagerness as byan reaches for their backpack.

ㅤㅤ" i do actually got, like, a little bit'a everything with me today, just in case i wanted t' do somethin' more at any point. "ㅤthey'd decided to go for a more simple look this morning, after all — a little bit of eyeliner, a dash of light blush, a simple tinted lip gloss, and not much else — but always like having the option of doing something more fun if they get bored at any point in the day. leg bouncing energetically as they dig around inside their bag, byan pulls out all the products they've brought with them and begins spreading them out across the table, still chewing away at their lip.

ㅤㅤ" i don't trust most people with this stuff, "ㅤthe stuff they've collected which holds a great importance to them, that is, such as their makeup,ㅤ" but y'did let me do yours, that's true... plus, like, your makeup is always on point anyway, so... "ㅤwith only a flicker of hesitation as they turn the kuromi pouch full of all their makeup brushes over in their hand, they draw in a breath and finally slide it across the table to perona. their gaze flits up to her face, eyes still shining, and allow their smile to spread at last.

ㅤㅤ" alright, i'll trust ya. lemme just wipe off what i already got on 'n then you can go wild, just gimme whatever kinda look you wanna do. "

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

[15] Texas Forever, Street

MASTERLIST | DWHI MASTERLIST

Warnings: best friends saying goodbye

Words: 1.6k

Thursday after practice, Tim pulled up to Applebee's where I was taking time to talk to Tyra. I hadn't seen her in a long time and wanted to catch up on her break, so Tim and I planned to meet there after he was done.

Tim sat down across from me as Tyra said bye after greeting Tim. He lounged back and brushed his knee against mine. I smiled and asked about practice.

He ignored my question. "Do you wanna come to New York with me and Street?"

"New York? That's a long way from here."

"We leave tomorrow mornin' and we'll get back Sunday night. You'll only miss a day of school."

"Why are y'all goin' there?"

"Street has a girl up in New Jersey he's tryin' to get a job to support her with. There's someone up there he wants to talk to about it. He's really hopin' it works out. I'm goin' and I want ya to come, too."

"Tim." I took his hand and smiled softly. "Why do you need me to come? I'm not sayin' I won't, but I wanna know why."

"I don't wanna come back alone."

"Oh, Tim." I got up and sat next to him. I kissed his cheek and squeezed his hands. "Do you really think he's gonna stay?" I watched Tim's eyes get shinier before he turned to look out the window.

"Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Yeah. He's set on being with her and his kid. Dillon's gonna lose a great guy."

I turned his head toward me again. "Of course, I'll go with you. You'll need a tour guide, right?"

He kissed me. "I love you."

"You, too, Riggins." 

I stood up to go back to my side, but he grabbed my waist to pull me back. I didn't care that half the restaurant looked over at us when I laughed.

*****

New York was a place I flourished. I felt comfortable there, free amongst the buildings. It was that way every time I came to the big city. I was a big city girl in a country way of life. But looking at Tim talking to Jason, I was glad I lived in Dillon.

Before lunch, Jason bought some cheap suits for his chat and we brought him to the man with the job. Tim and I sat by the reception desk while Jason went into the office.

I put my head on Tim's shoulder, grabbing his hand. "You think he's gonna get the job?"

"He has to. It'll kill him if he doesn't. I've never seen him want anything this bad." Tim let his head fall back on the wall.

"Then it's our job to make sure he gets it. He deserves that from us. From you."

Tim looked at our hands. "I'm not sure I'm ready to tell him goodbye."

I kissed the side of his head. "It's not goodbye. He'll come back. We just need to be strong for him right now. We'll see him again if this all works out."

He closed his eyes and took slow breaths. Tim put his head on my shoulder and squeezed my hand.

When Jason came back out five minutes later in a huff, we knew it didn't go well. As soon as we were back on the streets, Jason started ranting. Tim and I patiently waited for him to calm down, but that didn't happen until the sun was almost gone and we were walking around Time Square.

Tim was ready to do something, suggesting we see the play Gypsy. I rolled my eyes, but I was willing to go if we could get Jason to take a second and chill.

"If you want this job then Wendell is your way in, Six," Tim said exasperated. "Go talk to him. Get him to pick the other guy. That's how you'll get the job."

Jason seemed genuinely surprised by Tim's idea. "Guess what we're doin' tomorrow?"

"Talkin' to Wendell?" I grinned.

Jason matched my enthusiasm.

"All right, all right. But we're goin' to this play first," Tim said, holding the bulletin up.

Jason agreed and started rolling forward.

I pulled Tim back to me to kiss him. "Thank you for doin' that for him."

"I don't want to hold him back."

"And you won't." Our lips connected again.

"Hey! Quit makin' out over there and let's go to that play!"

We pulled apart. I smiled sheepishly at Jason, taking Tim's hand, and pulling him behind me to catch up to our friend.

*****

Once again, Tim and I were left alone while Jason did the talking. That time we were able to walk around campus while he met with Wendell. It gave us a chance to talk more privately.

I held Tim's hand, strolling along the sidewalks. The campus was pretty, full of trees changing their leaves and old brick buildings. I didn't think schools could look that pretty.

"You thinkin' about college yet?" Tim asked me, looking at the gray sky.

"Sorta. There's a great school out in Florida – Full Sail University. It's the perfect school for art geeks like me."

"Florida's nice."

"I was thinkin' about doin' online courses. The school encourages it and has a great online program. I want to try it out, maybe stay in Dillon."

Tim stopped walking and embraced me. He spread his legs out to bring himself more to my level. I laughed and put my hands around his waist, threading each pointer through a belt loop on his jeans.

"You should go to Florida, Barton. You look like you belong in a city like this and going to that art college will be good for you. You don't have to stay in Dillon. If you're stayin' because of me, I told you I'd go with you."

"Tim, I can't make you leave Dillon. I know there are colleges askin' for you and maybe you should look into it." I kissed him. "I'm not tellin' you to go to any of them, just look into it. See if you feel like going."

He stood back at his full height and brushed my hair back. "I'll look into it because you're cute. If I decide I'm not goin', I'm comin' with ya to Florida."

"You're still gonna make me go there?"

"You want to go there."

I frowned. "How about I go for one year. You come with me if that's what you want, then we go back to Dillon where I take the rest of my classes online.

Tim kissed my forehead and smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

*****

Jason got the job. It was entry level, but it was a start. Convincing Wendell was the best move he had and it worked. As soon as Jason accepted the position, we were in a taxi to New Jersey. It was cramped in the back seat between the boys, but none of us cared with the strange silence growing in the vehicle.

The house Erin lived in was cute. Small, but cute. I climbed out after Tim and we worked together to get Jason in his chair. I saw them stare each other down, so I stepped around to the other side of the taxi to give them space. They started talking in low voices. My eyes instantly teared up when they struggled to keep it together. Sometimes life was cruel to best friends. I came back around when Jason met my gaze.

"You take care of him, Catherine," Jason said. "You're good for each other."

One tear rolled down my cheek. "Thanks, Jason."

He smiled once more before wheeling up to the front step.

I put my head on Tim's shoulder as we watched a pretty redhead come out with a chubby baby in her arms. Jason's posture changed at the sight, making me smile and cry at the same time. Their kiss broke my heart for Tim but mended it for Jason. I couldn't look up at Tim because I didn't want to see him upset. I didn't want to start sobbing right there.

"Let's go, Barton."

The force it took for him to speak leveled caused me to peer at him. His face was a lot to take in. My sigh was shaky. I wiped away my steady tears and brushed Tim's hair behind his ears. I kissed his cheek and tugged him behind me to the trunk so we could leave Jason's bag.

The drive to the airport was quiet. The flight was even quieter. We managed some small talk during the taxi ride to Tim's house.

The mood shifted when we saw Tim's truck parked in the bushes with a dent in the front of it. Inside, beer bottles were everywhere and Billy Riggins was out cold on the couch. Tim went over to wake him up.

"What the hell did you do to my truck, Billy? You had it for three days."

Billy stared at his brother confused, still waking up.

"You're gonna pay to get it back into better shape than before."

They started arguing until Billy said it.

"Mindy broke up with me."

The tension fizzled. 

Tim sighed at his brother. "You're still payin' for it. Come on, Cat."

Tim led me into his room where he fell back on his bed, rubbing his face.

"I'm sorry, Tim," I said, shedding my coat. "Is there somethin' I can do for you?"

"You can get over here and spoon with your boyfriend. That'd be a big help."

I smiled and crawled onto the bed. I tugged on the collar of his coat. "Are you thinkin' of sleepin' in this?"

His eyes met mine and he smirked. "Who said we were sleepin'?"

[kojinnie]

tis is ranon! i wanna try the twisted match-up eventho it'll probably hurts. my worst traits would be

1. Not knowing myself well enough, having to ask others how i actually am from their eyes instead of looking through my own lense because I care of other's judgement better than mine.

2. I suck at handling compliment. Everytime anybody says anything good about me, I always get defensive by saying no, change the topic of the conversation, or saying "thank you, but [insert why i don't deserve compliment]"

3. Similar to the 2nd one, I have horrible horrible self esteem. I never really look at myself in a good light, I think I am horrible. Sometimes I feel like "im the worst" yet some of the times I feel like "woah I'm a queen". Even worse, sometimes I don't have the motivation to better myself in order to raise my self esteem.

My favourite(s) would be reiner and jean, you can choose the one with the worst(or whoever you prefer) compatibility with my traits. tears up already as I slip 1 dollar to your hand, whispering happy ending please..

Pairing: Jean x Reader

Summary: You accidentally meet Jean, your high school sweetheart, thirteen years later. While he has turned into a successful man whose face you'd see on TV a lot, you think of your life and what could have been with him, if only...

Tags: Angst/Fluff, coming of age, slice of life

Word Count: 3.6K

A/N: Oh Ranon my sweet child, hereby I present to thee... hopefully an antidote to the despair Yams had given us with 138. Hope you like it love!

Song mentioned: Linger by The Cranberries

"It's nice to see a familiar face 'round here."

There was no word that could describe the feelings you had upon hearing that voice. A voice that was once the first sound you hear in the morning and the one you say goodbye to before falling asleep. A voice that you had not heard for what felt like forever.

You didn't have to turn around to tell who it was, "Jean?"

The two of you erupted in laughter, both surprised by the mere coincidence of meeting each other at this old and ran-down department store, on the outskirt of the town you both grew up in.

Jean was quick to pull you into a big embrace that you gladly came into. A familiar piece of warmth was his hug, and yet it had struck you as odd that it did not feel foreign at the closest, although it had been years since the last time you met him.

Jean had grown very tall. There was no longer his signature undercut as he had let his hairs to grow past his ear. His chiseled jaw hid beneath dark brown beard he now had. You pretended to check him out and be shocked with the view, "You really grew! Like grew, GREW!" as if you hadn't seen him on the news station or the daily mail. As if you didn't follow his Instagram with your second account. As if you never thought of him at all.

He held your shoulder and pulled away to look at you, "Thirteen years and you don't look any different."

Your face grew hot and the compliment sent an uncanny discomfort to your guts, "Ah the lighting sucks here - to my advantage, fortunately."

There was a disapproving look in Jean's eyes for a passing moment before he carried on with the conversation. He didn't expect to see you at the old department store the two of you used to roam in after school, he said. Neither did you to ever meet him again, especially here. A place so awfully ordinary for someone who had grown to be the best version of himself. Jean had finally achieved his dream to be a household name in the country as one of the rising young attorneys.

The celebrity status he had achieved, all the actresses and models he had dated - it all inflicted you with some kind of inexplicable pain. One that made you feel worthless, to say the least. Someone who used to be so close to your heart, had grown so magnificently, leaving you with the painful fate of being ordinary. Yet, still your face lit up in distant pride each time a mention of Jean’s name surfaced, be it from the passing conversation your friend had, or to see it announced by the news anchor for some big public case he was working on.

Jean said that he returned home for a funeral. His uncle died, and he needed a spare sandal. He didn't know any other store, as the area both of you grew up in had changed a lot. Leaving this old department store the only place he could remember.

You passed your condolence but he was more curious with what you were up to. You chuckled because he seemed so serious when he asked, "Didn't you move out to the city? Why the hell are you coming back?" as if the misplacement of seeing someone so glitzy in this boring, dilapidated town didn't apply to him.

So you answered, and Jean turned silent for a moment. He tilted his head downward, and you noticed that he was the same person with the same mannerism. Although he was no longer the 17-year-old boy who used to get all ruffed up in school fight, trying to defend you from some stupid jocks; nor was he still the tall, lanky kid from your Home Economics class that you gave your first kiss to.

Your mind couldn’t help but to race to all the what-ifs, and the presence of Jean before your eyes right now only made the wonderings more palpable.

Jean smiled faintly to your answer, “Congratulations,” he still made his way to pat the side of your head, something he used to do every time, “big step, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s scary.”

“So, who’s the lucky guy? Anyone I know from school?” Jean said, faking the enthusiasm in his tone, but you didn’t notice. Because in your mind, it would be an absurd idea to think that you would still have the tiniest bit of effect on Jean, for he had outgrown all the memories he ever had with you.

“No, no,” you tried to mask the bitterness that suddenly emerged on the back of your tongue, “we met at work. He’s a great guy.”

Indeed, he was. The reason why you returned home was because you were getting married, and your fiancée wanted to be close with your family, for he didn’t have one growing up. He was an exceptional man, he had this magnetism in him, with the way he perceived things, to the abiding tenacity he had in him.

Your fiancée was a man you knew you could lean on in the eye of adversity. That’s why you agreed to marry him. But then again, there was always a void inside your heart that had no resolve to it for so many years. Your fiancée was your foundation, and yet, perhaps selfishly, you still yearned for the childish laughter and the irreplaceable feeling of freedom you once had with the man standing tall before you. Whose glance never failed to make you feel the most at ease with.

“He must be a pretty great guy to get you,” Jean’s faint smile grew into a grin, he was trying to down play the commotion he started to feel within his chest, “what’s his name? So, I can picture him.”

You laughed, because it was only natural for you to do so in the presence of the first guy you had fallen for, the first guy to ever told you how pretty you were and how all your imperfections never mattered to him, the first one to bring your teary face into his embrace after a gruesome day, before saying, ‘I never thought it’s possible. But, crazy, seeing you cry hurts me too.’

However, you knew, that all those memories had passed by and you were happy with where you were now. “Reiner,” you smiled at the mention of his name, “my fiancée’s name is Reiner Braun. He’s… amazing.”

“Wow. Tough name. Probably someone I’d stay clear from in high school.”

Both of you laughed, and the two of you continued to talk, as you walked him through the desolated alleys to find the sandal that he wanted to buy, and Jean walking you to the towel aisle that you had meant to buy one for Reiner, only to find out that they had stopped selling towels since long time ago. The laughter and reminiscing persisted until the cashier row when Jean heard your stomach grumble. Both of you exchanged glances and broke into yet another laughter.

“Salerno’s?” Jean said, suggesting the pizza place off the highway, where you had spent so many dates with him back then.

“How could I ever say no to that?”

“Settled, then. Did you drive here?” Jean’s eyes gazed afar to the parking lot, strangely looking for the old car you used to drive back in school, before realizing that thirteen years had passed and there was no chance that sickly car could ever survive the time.

“No, actually Reiner dropped me and—” As if staged by the universe, your phone rung and Reiner was calling, “—right in time, it’s him!”

You walked away from Jean for a moment as he looked for his car key inside jacket. Across the line, Reiner was gruntling, his voice was hazy, “Babe—”

“Reiner, I bumped into an old friend!” there was a sing-songy tone in your words. Through the phone, Reiner chuckled, picking up the excitement in your voice, even though it was getting more apparent that Reiner was drowsy, “Anyway babe, can you get an Uber? I took the cough syrup your mum gave me, and now I’m sleepy as fuck. ‘Fraid I won’t be able to drive.”

You turned to Jean and saw him jingling his car key at you, before returning back to Reiner on the phone, “Rei, I think my friend can drive me home. I’ll be stopping at Salerno’s, do you want anything? The calzone maybe?”

Reiner yawned, “That sounds nice but—” yet another yawn, “I’m gonna pass out. Come home soon, okay? Tuck me in.”

You cackled at the buff man whining before you said goodbye and followed Jean into his car.

The trip to Salerno’s was nourishing with memories. The poplar trees along the avenue had been replaced by lines of billboards – from advertisement of real estate agent to divorce attorney, they all reminded you of how much the town had changed. Yet the sense of comfort you shared with Jean as you joked about all of the absurd things you saw along the way, had not changed at all.

If for one second you forgot that you were driving in Jean’s expensive car, and that you imagined he was wearing a shabby soccer jersey instead of a tailored-fit shirt – if you closed your eyes and thought that thirteen years hadn’t gone by between the two of you, it almost felt like you rode a time machine to a time when Jean was yours and you were his. And something about the thought of it just broke your heart.

When Jean pulled over at Salerno’s and found out that it’s past the time for dine-in, the two of you decided to eat at his car instead. Jean didn’t even ask what you want and he returned with exactly what you had in mind, the classic calzone, something you always used to have. He remembered.

The two of you laughed, bantered and joked at each other. It felt almost as if no distance had ever been laid out between the two of you, like you hadn’t lived an entirely different life, like he was the same person after all. He hadn’t once made you self-conscious like you thought you would, considering the amount of success he had attained for himself. You felt bad for accusing Jean of the worst, when all it was just a projection of your own insecurity.

“So, you’re getting married on the 15th, and your annoying aunt is not invited?”

“Yeah, thank God for the pandemic somehow. Legit excuse, when all I wanted was not to have her talk shit about Reiner on my wedding day,” you munched through your calzone, talking mindlessly, “as for you, sir, you’re invited. That’s a no-brainer. Hereby I invite thee to my humble dwelling. Bring your model girlfriend, please, so I can brag to my cousins.”

His grin subsided into a weak smile and then into nothing at all, as he sipped on his coke. Suddenly awkward silence loomed within the small space of his car.

“Jean,” you shifted in your seat as the guilt grew on you, realizing the error in your judgment, “sorry I was being presumptuous.”

“No worries, it wasn’t serious. None of it ever was.”

You nodded, engulfed in your own guilt for bringing a bad topic up. The silence let the radio’s murmur to become noticeable, and an old song had just been played through the local radio, a tune that you used to listen with him on the back of your old creaking car after a make-out session filled with enraging teenage hormones.

And I’m in so deep~

You know I’m such a fool for you~

You got me wrapped around your finger I—

Do you have to let it linger?

You sighed and finally looked at Jean with his head hanging low, “Do you want to settle down someday?”

“Eventually.” Jean answered nonchalantly, “Not even sure about the whole relationship thingy.”

“Oh.” An acknowledgment you voiced, before succumbing to yet another silence.

Jean called your name softly and when you turned to face him, he was looking at you. Even in the darkness of the parking lot, you could see his honey eyes gleamed in a look that was so familiar to you—a look of disappointment, “Tell me, how could you never end up working where you’ve always wanted to be?”

You were pulled even deeper into your silence as you looked away. Suddenly a hot rash of sadness started to swallow you whole, “I—”

You tried to voice out a tangible reason, but you had realized that all of it was your own doing. Your insecurity, your self-consciousness, the thought that you were never good enough for the thing you once wanted so bad; all of it led to a life unlived, and to have someone finally putting you in your place was embarrassing, if not painful, “—wasn’t sure if I really wanted it and—”

“—wasn’t sure if I was good enough to pass the test.”

“So, after college, you never ended up applying there? Not even a try?”

You shook your head embarrassed, looking down at your shoes.

Jean sighed and laid his food on the dashboard, before reaching for your right hand and held it warmly into his grasp. He called your name which propelled you to look back at him, “Weren’t you the one who talked me into getting into law school? Even when I thought it was impossible? Weren’t you the one who wrote on my yearbook to-my-future-attorney when everyone was convinced that I’d end up working a mediocre office job? Or a mechanic in my Dad’s shop?”

Jean carried on, “I just… I just don’t understand. How could you have so much conviction for other people but—but yourself?”

You passed a grim smile, as vulnerability started to catch up with you, “Nevermind Jean, it’s passed. I am where I am now.”

“But, wasn’t it your dream?” Jean grew antsy on his seat, it was obvious that he truly didn’t understand, “The pages and pages and pages of diary you wrote about wanting to work there? What happened?”

You sighed, running out of words to say, until you caved in, “Maybe I never knew what I truly wanted.”

“Is that why?” Jean shot another look at you, there was an intensity in his eyes that you had never seen before. There you wondered what had happened to Jean’s life in all those years passed at your absence, had he led a difficult life before getting the success he was enjoying now? “Is that why you left me—because you didn’t know what you truly want?”

Jean understood the consequence of his action, he was a well-accomplished attorney after all. He also understood the vivid pain painted all over your face, but he was taking his shot. Years of wondering where had you gone, what kind of live had you lived – you never ceased to haunt him, all the what-ifs with you he always thought about whenever he broke off yet another meaningless relationship with yet another woman he’d never cared for in his life. Over the years, he’d taken a close look at you. He’d find you on the internet, he’d asked about you to friends of a friend that was still in touch with you, he’d ‘accidentally’ found your legal documents just to see that you had gotten your college degree one year earlier than him. He didn’t know why the thought of you lingered, you just did. Arriving into his dreams where he was seventeen again and unassuming, only for him to wake up disappointed at seeing a woman that wasn’t you in his bed.

For the longest time, Jean had fended for himself to be where he’s now. When survival had finally bore fruits, what else could there be for him? Still, he felt lonely in the embrace of another woman, still he felt the void persisted even if he spent his money on things he didn’t need. Jean never thought, that after years of dreaming to be the person he’s now, all he yearned for was to have a piece of simple, ordinary and innocent happiness he once had with you.

You were, after all, the only thing that could remind him of the innocence Jean had lost after years of grueling work as an attorney—seeing how corrupt and insidious men can be. So, when his wearied eyes landed on the sight of you this evening, in the alley of that long-forgotten Department Store, Jean had no choice but to finally face his haunting.

“Jean, it’s a long time ago,” you smile, cupping his hand with your free hand, “besides, I’m no longer your type, right?” A grin, a playful grin, painfully fabricated and Jean saw right through it.

You could feel the air had gotten thick in his car, and you shifted closer to the door. Jean let go of your hand as he moved closer to you, running his long fingers through your hair. His voice had gotten deep and you could sense a hint of pain in his words, “Maybe I never had a type.”

He dragged his gaze all over your face; your eyes, your nose, your lips – the way he used to reassure that you were so beautiful in his eyes despite the self-hate you inflicted upon yourself, “Maybe all I ever wanted was you and all I ever did with those girls was to try finding you in them,” he forced a smile, so stale, so painful, “to no avail.”

You could feel the air into your lung was compromised as you battled the tears, “Jean…”

“Out of so many things that I have been brave for, I was never brave enough for one thing that I needed the most: to tell you that it’s always been you,” Jean slithered his hands through your waist and pulled you into his embrace. He laid his head, heavy with loneliness and exhaustion on to the nook of your shoulder. For lack of better term, Jean was finally back home, as he muttered, letting go of all his inhibitions, “Baby, it’s always been you. It’s always been you.”

Your whole body was weak with emotions. The thoughts, the persistent ones – the what-ifs you could have had with Jean, the life you could have lived and the dream that could have been fulfilled. Without your permission, the tears fell to your dismay as you thought of one last thing remaining in your heart: Reiner. The way he smiled and listened all through your nightly despairs, caressing you close until you fell asleep, exhausted with tears dried up all over your face. The way Reiner whispered on to your ear, amidst your drowsiness, that he loved you and that he promised to make you whole, to fill the void you had always feared for. All the little things he had done without you asking, or the way he loved your family as if they were his own.

You cursed yourself for being surprised at how much you realized that you truly loved Reiner, even when you were in the embrace of someone you wondered about often. You realized, the best way to prove to someone that you love them was to stick around. And Reiner had stuck around, as much as you stuck around for him.

You left Jean long time ago for reasons you only vaguely remembered now, but life went on and sooner or later you should make it in your heart to accept it. You smiled and thought of your life. Sure, there was a lot of thing you need to patch up, but what is life if not persevering?

You pulled away from Jean, surprised to see a beaten look on his face. Far away from the dandy and sharp young attorney you would see on the news. Once, you loved this man, but years had passed and the one he wanted was no longer there. You were no longer the person you were thirteen years ago. You were no longer the girl Jean longed for, all he wished for was a passing ghost that you have left behind in your adolescence.

You caressed his cheek for the last time and landed a kiss to his forehead, “Jean, I’m so proud of you. How far you have gone. I’m sorry I wouldn’t be the one you’d share your future achievement with, but for all the things you have done to me, for seeing the good in me when I could hardly see it… I want to say thank you,” you smiled although pain was searing within your chest, “there’s a world out there where this would work out. But not this world.”

The unexpected rendezvous you had with the man whom you had given your first love to ended with both of you crying at each other’s embrace, until Salerno’s closed and turned off their lights.

When Jean finally dropped you at your childhood home, the place he used to spend all the times in, Jean smiled and pointed at your room with the lights still lit, “He’s waiting?”

“I think he’s asleep. He’s a deep sleeper, he forgets to turn off the lights every time.”

“Does he even fit in your tiny bed?”

“Well, you did fit.”

“For a time.”

“Yeah, for a time.”

“So, you’ll be Mrs. Braun?”

“Yep, Mrs. Braun I will be.”

Jean scoffed, pretending to be annoyed, but smiling nonetheless, “Lucky bastard, that Mr. Braun.”

[lupinblacktheone]

War games

Notes: Hey, guys! This was based on @dedlit's amazing art! You should check their fanart out prior to reading this. (I would like to post the link to the specfic fanart in which this work is based on, but it doesn't seem possible for some reason. I highly recommend you follow their blog too!)

***

Robby managed to escape Kreese's claws - by properly telling him to fuck off - and is willing to join Eagle Fang Karate. Daniel welcomes him back with open arms and is putting a big-time effort into getting Johnny and his son to get along, which is going great, the students, on the other hand, still haven't figured out a way to be friends (or at least, hate each other a little less). Johnny and Daniel have lots of brainstorming sessions, trying to come up with ideas.

"C'mon, guys, just give them nerf guns and they will shoot the tension out", Anthony suggests, taking a bow of Doritos to his room.

“You know... maybe he is right", Johnny says, putting his pencil down. "Nothing can bond people better than a healthy war game."

"Ok, how about you sort out the teams while I buy the guns?"

"Yeah, sure."

A few hours later, Daniel and Anthony come back home with four boxes full of all kinds of nerf guns and Johnny shows them the line-ups. He has made sure to mix up former Cobras and Miyagi-Dos in both sides.

"I even got Robby and Miguel to be in the same side!"

"Huh, babe, I thought you wanted to get on Robby's bright side", Daniel makes a confused face.

"I do, indeed, but I couldn't miss this chance. I'm planning to take him out for dinner later."

Daniel shakes his head, imagining the war game's outcome. Anthony wants to be an assistant sensei during the game, since Johnny and Daniel will be busy as hell. He even dresses up in army-printed sweatshirts and makes a face painting.

When everybody is at Mr. Miyagi's old house, Daniel explains them the rules.

"You must work together to achieve an objective, which is getting the other team's flag and shooting as many people from the opposite team as possible. You got it?"

"Yes, sensei", they answer in a loud, strong chorus.

"Step up and choose your weapons", Johnny invites. As they pick the guns, he tells them which team they'll be in. Miguel makes a slightly annoyed face when he's told to team up with Robby. "The rules are the rules, Diaz."

"Those are your rules", he mumbles, standing by Mitch's side.

The teams will have some time to organize a strategy and hide their flag. Sam's team elects a leader and puts the flag between the twigs of a tall tree. Of course, Robby and Miguel are arguing, because the first one wants to set the flag in the bottom of the pond and the latter wants to put it on the roof.

"It's too visible!", Robby complains.

"Kind of, but it'll be easier for us to shot them when they try to get up there."

"Did you forget Demetri's on their side? He only needs a hop to get on the roof."

"So what? We shot him and he's out."

"And then, he throws the flag down and they win!"

Chris would like to complain to the senseis and maybe, they will let the team play short on two players – which good could they do, anyway? – but before he can get to them, someone, probably Nate, solves the issue by grabbing the flag and hiding it in a corner of the fence and yelling orders to split the group in offensive and defense.

A whistle blows. The game is on.

Johnny and Daniel watch it drinking lemonade and holding hands.

“Hey, Danny.”

“Yes, honey?”

“I love you. You know that, right?”

“I sure do”, the man leans over to peck the other’s lips.

The kids start joining them, grumbling about unfair shooting. Daniel rests his head on Johnny’s shoulder.

Johnny would bet some money on Samantha’s team, since they had come up with such a brilliant plan that included a circle of fire around their tree and hidden snipers, and it is really surprising when he hears Robby screaming:

“We won!”

He’s sitting on Miguel’s shoulders. Them both look so happy and proud that Johnny’s heart melts.

Daniel lectures the kids a bit about teamwork’s importance. With an evil smirk on his face, Anthony declares:

“Get ready for round two! Senseis versus the students!”

Johnny does the most rational thing he can think of: grab Daniel and three plastic guns and then, run as hell. Maybe it would be smarter to take separate ways, but Johnny won’t leave his boyfriend’s side, not even when they are being hunted down by a mass of angry teens – and two of them are their real children!

They are cornered. Now, Sam, Demetri, Robby and Miguel are standing in the front line.

“Sorry, dad!”, Samantha says. If you look into her eyes, you’ll notice that she’s having a good time and might be not that sorry.

“Now we got you, Mr. L!”, Demetri raises his gun at the level of his eyes.

“No mercy, sensei! Your rules, not mine”, of course, Miguel wouldn't hold back from that little revenge.

“Well, sensei Lawrence, I guess the ‘enemy’ has us surrounded”, Daniel points a gun at Sam’s direction while the other is pointing at someone behind them.

“Ready to go down together?”, Johnny points his gun at Miguel.

“With you by my side? Always.”

“Come on, Demetri, let’s finish them!”, Robby urges and then, everybody shoots as if the world was about to end.

Yeah, summer was never this perfect.

[echo-three-one]

Run run run....

Table of Contents

Previous Chapter : Going Dark - Part 1

Chapter 23 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

Going Dark - Part 2

John "Soap" MacTavish

London, United Kingdom

Soap never knew that the bloody guy would pull that trick off his sleeve. He's been sick of the same ringing he first experienced when they went out with Francine.

So he did what he could and quickly got up to his feet as soon as he saw Alex attempt to halt the hostage on his tracks. That bastard's going to pay for stomping on Alex like that.

With comms down once again, he had to act fast, stomping down the stairs, never leaving sight of the runner. He could sense someone following him and assumed it's any of Roach, Price or Jack. And it looked like Ghost caught wind of what happened too.

"Oi! Let's flank him!" Soap roared across the empty streets as Ghost and Roach split ways and ran toward their target.

They're not kidding when they said the Shadow Company is at par with the 141, the guy ran like a horse which Soap never expected from his build. He could see Ghost and Roach sprinting from his sides, one wrong turn and he's done for, but he still had one last trick. 

He raced to the emergency stairs as his heavy feet clanged against the metal. Soap followed, optimizing the steps on edges to gain on him. Going up the rooftops was his biggest mistake.

"Bollocks, he's still running!" he announced as he felt his ears crackling. 

"Well…. st….by…. do….airs.." His earpiece crackled through the static. It's recovering but they're already far off MacMillan's truck where their line connected.

He leaped. Soap almost stopped in his tracks as the runner courageously leapt across the huge gap and rolled on to the next building. He braced himself and continued dashing across the roof and did a mighty leap, his arms circled like he was swimming and he carefully placed his feet to perform a proper land and rolled.

That's going to hurt as soon as the adrenaline fades, but he quickly got up and made use of his remaining burst of energy. 

The runner stopped in his tracks as soon as Roach emerged from the opposite fire escape, raising a pistol pointed straight at him as he raised his hand in surrender.

"Nowhere to run now." Roach said, cautiously walking near him. He's aware that his phone is still inside his pocket and that they had no idea when it'll go off again.

He didn't talk, but he looked panicked. He was sweating all over and his face was beyond recognizable. It looked like he's out of options.

"Tell us Where Shepherd is…" Gary pointed the loaded gun on his head, the desperation in Gary's eyes were obvious.

"There's an abandoned plane graveyard near Afghanistan…" he whimpered. His voice was shaky enough to warrant the truth.

"What's he doing there?" Soap added.

"He's trading the blueprints for the I.P. Address… Please that's all I know" he begged and they quickly left the place, walking back to MacMillan's car.

"You got something?" Ghost asked as soon as Roach's feet landed on the dark alley.

"A place. In Afghanistan." Roach answered.

"And he also had the I.P. Address.." Soap added.

"But that's impossible… didn't Samantha already forget about it?" Ghost asked but there was a quiet pause. Their brains almost looked like working together.

"Holy Crap." Roach finally broke the silence.

And from that moment they realized the other reason behind Samantha's memory returning. One way or another, her memories were once again toyed with.

~

"So how was it?" Price asked the team that ran off to chase the runner.

"We got an address. An abandoned plane yard in Afghanistan." Roach replied. Soap turned to Alex as he sat at the back of the jeep tending to his wound. 

"You okay mate?" he asked walking close to his ally, who was wincing in pain.

"The guy's boots are heavy." He chuckled and so did Soap.

"Listen, Alex. We heard that Shepherd has the I P. address, did Samantha tell you anything about remembering it?" Soap asked as the whole team fell silent and turned to the two.

"Not really. What's bothered me is that she remembers everything except after when Shepherd explained his plans to her… Could it be that…" Alex trailed.

"She remembered because they undid their operation on her…" Jack continued. The whole group stood in silence. 

Price's phone rang and delivered them with more bad news. It looked like while chasing the runner, Shepherd had caught wind of their activity and had some of London police scour the nearby streets for them.

"Da, It's time to go, my comrades." Nikolai announced as soon as Price relayed the message. Their ride home was compromised.

"Where to?" He asked.

"I know a place." Soap said.

TRAIN STATION

It looked like Soap's hunch was right. None of the people onboard to Scotland mind about the faces of the fugitives flashed on the news recently. 

Their day packs had reserved clothes and they opted to change to something more civilian. Soap could smell the fabric conditioner France used to wash his newly bought clothes and couldn't help but miss her. If they weren't on a rush, Soap could've topped up for international calls.

"How long is this trip? 7 hours?" Price asked a civilian with surprised expressions.

"Wow. It's like a plane ride, but I'm still in the same country!" Jack cackled at the idea. He does have a different sense of humor. Just as Alex described him.

The rest of the team took this time to rest, they sat on the emptiest part of the train, away from the people that might recognize them and report their presence.

"I've contacted Samantha. It looks like they're having a small problem over there." Alex said.

"Someone saw one of us fugitives and tried to get inside the house to claim his bounty. At first they just talked him off but he's persistent now. So they decided to fly to our location and regroup there. And Soap, where exactly are we going?" Alex asked. Soap took a careful look around his team and felt nervous about his decision.

"Our old house. In Scotland. It's far off civilization. I think no one would look for us there." he muttered, gaining a nod from Price and Jack. Soap sighed in relief as soon as they thought of it as a good idea. Roach actually felt excited despite having to go there by train for seven hours. He immediately made that decision a few minutes ago without anyone's approval, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Hey, you three… Thanks for chasing that runner while we were out. Go catch some sleep. We'll watch over this train. It's going to be a long trip." Price nudged and Jack nodded. Soap gave a pair of earbuds to Price, the old man immediately looked at him with question.

"What's this? A hearing aid?" Price asked.

"Our runner wore that so it might be the reason he wasn't affected by his own blast." He muttered before crossing his arms.

"Thanks, mate. I'll let someone have a look at this." Price nodded and Jack immediately inserted with a suggestion.

"I know someone near Glasgow. A close friend of mine." 

"That's great. He's closer." Price agreed and Soap slowly drifted himself asleep, trying to rest his tired legs all while also trying not to worry about Francine.

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND

The never shifting scenery of the road home sent John MacTavish into a little nostalgia trip. The sound of trains screeching across the station reminded him of so many things from the past.  The road they're walking along now was the same road he's walked on everyday of his life, and now after a lot of years, he can't believe he's back.

"I don't see anything nearby,  are you sure we're not lost Soap?" Roach asked.

"We aren't. The house is just obstructed by the trees. They've grown taller since I last left." he replied enthusiastically. He looked obviously excited to see his home.

As soon as they reached the short curve, a huge cream-painted house greeted them from the distance. He could hear Alex and Roach's collective oohs and aahs every step they took closer.

"When you said old, I was really expecting it to be abandoned." Roach mused.

"It is, actually. My parents are off… somewhere else." he replied leading the way inside the house. The pool was already dirty and most weeds already outgrew the fences.

Soap pushed the huge wooden double door open and was greeted by the same visage of their entrance way back when he was a kid. Same pictures hung on the walls of his adventures as a kid up to the recent photo of his graduation. His mom was always proud of him no matter what, but he couldn't forget the way she looked at him once he chose to enlist to the riskiest job ever.

The rest of the team helped themselves to discovering the inside of the house, looking at photos, sitting on the couches and grabbing a glass of water. Soap quickly gave them a tour of the house and that they're free to pick a guest room of their choice. It was appropriate that they'd feel comfortable after a tough day.

"Nice place you got here, comrade. Why'd you give this all up for a life that's always hanging on the ledge?" Nikolai asked, tapping his shoulder. 

"I don't even know." he muttered and Nikolai chuckled, making his way to the living room. The team was quick to adapt to the place. Roach and Ghost already chose their rooms and he assumed they already attempted to recover while the three older men gathered around the television and watched the news. Alex was by the telephone, probably contacting Samantha. He wanted to check on France himself, so he planned to go to his room and make a call.

"The New York attack stopped." Price discussed with Nikolai and Jack, the three began speculating about a lot of things. Soap would love to join in the conversation but he decided to update on Francine first.

His room looked the same as when he left, the same shade of blue wallpaper, the same color sheets that were changed weekly and the same things on top of his bedside drawer.

Dialing her number, which he subconsciously memorized, he immediately placed the receiver on his ear and anxiously waited for her to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" her voice sounded different over the phone, but it still sent shivers across his spine as soon as he heard it.

"Hey. It's me." he replied.

"Angelo?" she asked, her voice almost sounded like she's fighting herself not to laugh.

"It's John." 

"I know, silly. Who would mistake you for anyone else with that accent." she retorted.

"Do ya like it?" he teased, making sure he emphasized his Scottish accent well.

"Why'd you call?" She changed the topic. She wasn't budging on his teasing, but he knew she's already blushing on the other side of the line.

"Did Price give you the landing coordinates?" he asked.

"Yeah. Maxine looked it up on the map. It looks like a shady house in the middle of nowhere. Who are you?" she joked.

"Great. I'll see you here. I-" he hesitated. He wanted to tell her how much he misses her. But even with his oozing confidence, he felt like chickening out this time.

"Yeah. We're on our way. Take care out there John." She said and dropped the call. Soap sighed and plopped himself on his bed, deeply sighing at his actions. This girl was making him crazy… and the funny thing is he's all fine with it.

Next Chapter : Going Dark - Part 3

Notification Squad my Beloved

@smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @beemybee @whimsywispsblog @ricinbach

[a-blue-secret]

CHAPTER II

BACK TO MASTERLIST

Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III

GENRES: royal au; fantasy au; magic au; friends-to-enemies-to-lovers; king!beomgyu, vizier!taehyun

PAIRING: taegyu

WARNINGS: none (haha no swearing in this one)

WORD COUNT: 2.9k+

AN: All I can say is: Beomgyu was hanging off the top of the door. That's why. (You'll understand once you read I promise) Also, I have no idea how alliances are formed so this is a completely made-up and not-factual process.

SUMMARY: Best friends turned enemies, Kang Taehyun has managed to trick Choi Beomgyu into his service, and to rule for three years and four months and nineteen days, until his youngest brother would be old enough to take the throne. Choi Beomgyu has no intention of being obedient however, and tries to thwart Taehyun’s orders at every turn. With a growing amount of distrust and lies within the court, will Taehyun manage to keep the kingdom of Gojongja from falling apart?

Taehyun did not go air out the Discussion and Tactics room. Not out of spite, but because he had one of the palace's servants do it instead. He did however, inform the court that Coronation Revels were over, and all people not native to the Gojongja court would have to make their farewells by the end of the week. When asked where the King was, Taehyun smoothly evaded giving direct answers, choosing to reply that what the King was doing was none of their concern. A few days after the final revel, only a few foreign representatives remained.

Beomgyu stayed in his chambers the whole of the three days, even ordering meals within his room. This irritated Taehyun, since it left him in charge, yet again, of the matters that normally the monarch would handle. And while he had contemplated barging into Beomgyu's room and forcing him to do his work, Taehyun also knew that the elder would say that it was technically Taehyun's job, since he controlled Beomgyu. And Taehyun really didn't want to have his patience tested by Beomgyu that particular day, so he just gritted his teeth and carried on.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

Taehyun tapped his fingers against the wooden table impatiently. He looked around the room again, eyeing the old bookshelf and the ancient chest of drawers for the umpteeth time. Yeonjun wasn't late or anything, he was just annoyed that this stupid discussion would be taking up his time.

Just at that moment, a knock sounded on the door.

"Lord Choi Yeonjun of Aruyeo Kingdom," the guardsman announced, opening the door for Yeonjun. Taehyun briefly considered standing up, but dismissed the thought. A vizier was of higher position than any lord, after all.

Yeonjun stepped into the room and looked slightly surprised at seeing only Taehyun sitting there, drumming his fingers against the wood. He quickly gathered himself and gave the vizier a sharp bow.

"Grand Vizier Taehyun."

"Lord Yeonjun," Taehyun acknowledged. "Please, have a seat."

Yeonjun sat down in the only other chair set at the table- the one opposite Taehyun. The vizier leaned forwards, clasping his hands together on the bare tabletop. Yeonjun looked around, clearly wondering where Beomgyu was but reluctant to voice his question.

"His Greatness is occupied with other matters," Taehyun said calmly. "He has asked me to carry on with our scheduled meeting, regardless of whether he is present or not."

"Ah… okay." Yeonjun shifted in his seat, still refusing to meet Taehyun's piercing gaze. Inwardly, the vizier smirked. He loved doing this: intimidating people, analysing them, seeing what ulterior motives they may have. Finally though, he decided that Yeonjun was far too nervous at that moment to have any interesting motives, so he relaxed and sat back.

"So, what do you have in mind for the alliance?"

Yeonjun cleared his throat, then placed his own hands palms down on the table. "Her Royal Supremeness has suggested as a start that Aruyeonan nobles, like me, can come to Gojongja court."

Taehyun frowned.

"Gojongja nobles are already living in Aruyeo," Yeonjun explained. "So, it seems only fair that if we are to have an alliance, we should have an exchanging of our nobles."

Taehyun straightened his collar. "It is an intriguing idea, Lord Choi, but we have to think about our court's security. As the Kingdom with the overall monarch, we have to place more safety measures within our court than any of the Four Kingdoms. Letting foreign nobles stay in Gojongja for an extended period of time is a risk."

Yeonjun nodded readily. "I understand. That is why our Queen had me come as ambassador. I, if I do say so myself, am an extremely trustworthy Lord. I will be the most trustworthy Aruyeonan noble that has ever set foot within your court. Once I have earned your trust and respect then, and only then, is when we will let additional Aruyeonan nobles in."

Taehyun held up a hand. "Hold. You mean to say that you will be staying in our court? Until you earn our respect? And then you will let other nobles into our court?"

Yeonjun nodded once. "That is correct, sire."

Taehyun frowned. "I do not like those terms. Forgive me, but I, frankly, do not trust you at all. It will take a great deal of time for me to."

"I understand, sire. Which is why I am to stay in court until you can."

"You do know I could turn you out of court with the flick of my wrist, don't you? I could turn you out and prevent you from ever coming back."

"You and I both know you would not do that, since Queen Erajin would not take kindly to you banishing one of her lords from your court."

Taehyun grudgingly admitted Yeonjun was right. Exiling Yeonjun, no matter how tempting the offer seemed right then, was not a remotely diplomatic move at all.

"Also, this will be a benefit that Aruyeo will have. If Gojongja will reap no rewards from this alliance, then there is no point in having it."

Yeonjun smiled. "Oh, Gojongja's benefits are far greater than Aruyeo's. You will have access to our Royal Army, our Navy and our Air Forces. In return, we ask for your knowledge on clans and abilities."

Taehyun paused. It was a very simple request. One in which Gojongja seemed to gain the most beneficial reward. "Well. That is surely something. At the revel however, you mentioned something about sharing resources. Could you clearly state what that means?"

Yeonjun leaned forward, using his hands to emphasise his points. He looked comfortable now. Perhaps diplomatic discussions were in his blood as much as they were in Taehyun's.

"Sharing resources means everything it sounds like it means. We share resources such as land- for example, our mines in exchange for your forests- information sources - like historical sources- and, if times become truly difficult, we can even share ships, and armies, and citizens."

Taehyun listened carefully as Yeonjun continued to explain. This Lord was compelling, that was for certain. When he spoke, one couldn't help but want to agree to everything he said.

"Hmm. 'Sharing' is a concept I do not believe Gojongja has experienced in a while, so it will take some time to adjust, I can assure you. If you don't mind me asking, why do you need our knowledge on clans and abilities?"

Yeonjun's face hardened. "That is a confidential matter, and knowledge of it is confined to only the most trustworthy people within the Aruyeo court." Taehyun raised an eyebrow, knowing exactly what Yeonjun was implying.

"It'll take a lot more than that to get me to trust you," Taehyun said.

"Believe me, I know," Yeonjun replied. "And I am determined to do so."

The two of them talked business for several more hours. By the end of it, the outcome was clear- Gojongja would be accepting all of Aruyeo's terms regarding the alliance. Taehyun had studied and rolled over the words of the agreement over and over in his mind, had taken them apart, dissected their potential meanings and analysed them to the bone. However, Yeonjun seemed to anticipate each and every one of Taehyun's scepticisms, and countered them with more agreements and rules.

Finally, Taehyun concluded that an alliance with Aruyeo would not be harmful for Gojongja, and that was that. All that was left was for the King to put his signature on the paper, and the alliance could fully begin.

Taehyun stood up, and so did Yeonjun.

"Well," Taehyun said. "It was nice talking alliances with you, Lord Choi."

"Likewise, Grand Vizier Kang." Yeonjun's lips twitched as they shook hands. "I'll see you around, then?"

Taehyun let Yeonjun leave first. Before he exited the room, Taehyun took one last sweeping glance around it. He noticed a tiny glass ball which caught the light streaming through the small window. Walking over, he picked it up off of the chest of drawers. Rolling it between his fingers, Taehyun carefully analysed the ball. It was no bigger than an average marble, and inside there was a strange metal powder which seemed to move as if they were the waves of the ocean. Taehyun frowned, pocketing the strange marble, before striding out of the room, closing the door with a soft click.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

Taehyun had stayed talking to Lord Yeonjun for much longer than he'd have liked. The Aruyeonan was extremely thorough in his explanations, and Taehyun was never one to let tiny details slide without careful analysis. While this was one of the things which made him the best diplomat among the Gojongja court, it also tired him immensely if he focused too much for a prolonged period of time.

After more than five hours sitting cramped in the Discussion and Tactics Room, Taehyun was mentally exhausted, hungry and cranky. So when he stalked up to Beomgyu's door and the guard turned him away, he may have forcefully slammed the butt of his dagger against the wood in frustration, causing the whole thing to fall off.

Beomgyu, who had previously been standing on his head, startled and toppled over in surprise. Taehyun also looked a little shocked as he stared at the fallen door.

"... Whoops?" he said.

"Why'd you go and break my door?" Beomgyu demanded, annoyed. Taehyun was about to reply with some snarky comment, before realising that, since the door was down, there was nothing separating them from the eavesdropping ears of the rest of the court, and so he just bowed respectfully and apologised.

"My sincerest apologies, Your Greatness," Taehyun said. "I must have underestimated my strength. I will have the door fixed as soon as possible. If you please, my King, would you mind joining me in the Meeting Hall? There are some matters it may benefit you to know of."

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow at Taehyun's extravagant display of formalities, but made no comment on it. "I accept your apology," he replied in a similar exaggeratedly formal way. "And I will see you in the Meeting Hall as soon as I change into a more suitable outfit and have the splintered remains of my door removed."

Taehyun bowed again, and strode off down the hallway.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

"Good, you're here," Taehyun said when Beomgyu finally sauntered in to the Meeting Hall. "Lord Yeonjun let me keep the agreement to look over it. Read over it and see if it’s all good," he said, tossing the scroll to Beomgyu. He caught it out of the air, before sitting down in the chair at the head of the long table. The King undid the black ribbon, unfurling the parchment. He scanned over the contents of the letter, before carelessly tossing it back down onto the table.

"Yeah, sounds good to me," he dismissed. "Why'd you bring it?"

"You need to sign it," Taehyun patiently explained. If he was completely honest, he felt a little guilty for breaking down Beomgyu's door. For him personally, his chambers were his haven, his private space. He could only imagine the anger he'd feel if the person he hated rudely barged in, splintering his door to pieces. Taehyun wouldn't be happy at all.

Beomgyu picked up on Taehyun's unusually placid tone, and took the agreement into his hands again, reading over it fully.

" 'Grant Aruyeo access to Gojongja's knowledge on clans and abilities'?" he read, scoffing. "What are they going to do with that sort of information?"

Taehyun shrugged, kicking his feet up onto the redwood table. He was tired, mentally and physically, so at that moment he didn't really care for propriety. "Lord Yeonjun said it was a confidential matter between only the most trustworthy people of Aruyeonan court."

"I suppose our record of clans is the largest and oldest out of all the Four Kingdoms," Beomgyu mused. "It is one of our advantages as well. Shame we'll have to share it with Aruyeo." He set the paper down again, smoothing it out. "Well, it sounds all good to me. Though there are parts which I really don't like, there are parts which I really like as well. And looks to me like there are parts which Aruyeo won't be happy about," he said, chuckling a little. "Gaining a portion of the metal mines for a section of our forest? Seems like ultimately we'll benefit from this alliance." He snapped his fingers at Taehyun. "Get me that quill, would you?"

Taehyun rolled his eyes, but took his feet off of the table and walked over to Beomgyu to push the quill and ink pot closer to the elder.

He watched as the elder dipped the quill into the ink.

"Beomgyu… I really am sorry for breaking down your door. I don't know how I did it, and didn't mean to do it at all."

Beomgyu raised his eyebrows at Taehyun, quill hovering in midair. "What's this?" he said. "Are you actually apologising to me?"

Taehyun glared, and scratched his neck with the backs of his nails: a nervous habit of his.

"Okay, no need to glare at me," Beomgyu chuckled. "And it's fine. The door was broken anyway. It's not your fault it came off." At the confused noise that Taehyun made, Beomgyu put down the quill to explain. "The reason they denied you access was because I'd accidentally broken the door, and if you found out you'd be mad. I was going to have it fixed before you found out, but you managed to topple it down before I could." Beomgyu shrugged, picking up the quill again. "It's no big deal."

Taehyun stood there, dumbfounded. "So then how did you break the door?"

Beomgyu laughed slightly. "Oh, you do not wanna know. Besides, you're the one who managed to knock it over and break it into splinters. I just managed to rip it off its hinges."

Taehyun glowered at the top of the King's head, all traces of guilt gone. What could Beomgyu have even been doing to break his door?

"And there… we… go." Beomgyu signed off his signature with a flourish, putting the quill back into the ink pot. "Our alliance is now officially underway. You don't have to do anything else now, do you?"

Taehyun frowned. "I don't know. I've never formed an alliance before. There'll probably be meetings and stuff to discuss what will happen if one of us goes against the terms of the contract."

"Oh, okay," Beomgyu said casually. "You can sort that out, can't you?"

"I- I mean, I suppose I could, but as King it really should be you who-"

"Oh good. I guess I'm going to go into town. It's boring here."

"W-what?" Taehyun spluttered, staring in surprise as Beomgyu stood up. "You're the King, and you're going outside?? Without any sort of warning beforehand?"

"Well what do you suggest I do?" Beomgyu asked, annoyed.

"Go horse riding in our private woods, maybe some sparring practice, talk to the officials you've been ignoring for months? Or even just stay in your chambers?"

"Well, I seem to recall that someone splintered my door," Beomgyu replied, glaring. "And horse riding hurts my butt, I don't need extra sparring practice, and those Lords are so annoying! I'm going out."

"Fine," Taehyun sniffed, standing up himself as he straightened his uniform. "But I'm going back to bed. If you get mobbed, don't come running to me crying."

"I won't, I assure you!" Beomgyu called after Taehyun's retreating back.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

After closing the door to his chambers, Taehyun fell limply face-first onto his bed. Why was it that arguing with Beomgyu seemed to use more of his energy than any verbal warfare ever could? He groaned into the silk sheets, before turning over to glower at the ceiling. It had been two months. Two months and sixteen days since Beomgyu had been under his control. He was thankful that nothing major had happened for the first few months of Beomgyu's reign, but he knew that with the alliance, things would not stay calm for long. He didn't know how, but he had a gut feeling that this alliance would not help Gojongja at all.

Taehyun turned his head to look at his clock, eyes tiredly following the movement of the swinging pendulum beneath the actual clock face. It was only some hours past luncheon. Why was he so tired?

Suddenly, he remembered the odd marble he'd found in the Discussion and Tactics room. He fished it out of his pocket, staring at it closely. He rolled it between his fingers, carefully analysing the strange metal powder inside. The powder was a dark, lead sort of colour. It almost looked like a pile of ash, but it moved as if it were the waves of the ocean, crashing against the walls of the ball. The ball itself had lots of imperfections; veins ran along the outside in places where the glass was thicker, and looked almost as if to have stretch marks where it was thin. Taehyun gently tapped his nail against it. It sounded hollow. So the ball must be a thin outer glass then, Taehyun mused, setting it down on his bedside table. He unbuckled his boots, laying down more comfortably on the bed. He'd take the hollow marble to the Royal Antiquarian. It looked old-fashioned: maybe they'd know what it was.

Feeling assured by this decision, Taehyun lay there, staring at the ceiling, before his eyes began to feel heavy. He tried to resist, but eventually gave in to fatigue. Just a few minutes' rest, he told himself. Just a few minutes.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Hi, sorry if this wasn't the right way to go about this, but I thought it would be more awkward/worse for you to stop the conversation if I approached you in person Jac: but if you're open to it, I'd like to talk Amelia: What is there to say? Jac: From my perspective, a lot Jac: but mainly an apology, if that's all I get to say Amelia: I already know you're sorry, it's been all over for ages, I don't need to hear it Jac: Well you don't know that, I never said it Amelia: you've never said a lot of things, I'm still well aware Jac: That's how miscommunication and misunderstanding happens Jac: you can still not need or want to hear it but you don't know anything that I didn't tell you Amelia: okay Jac: I can confirm any ideas you have, if you would like Jac: but the main reason I want to talk is to apologize for the ways I behaved, and treated you Amelia: well, say whatever you want to say then Jac: Alright Jac: I should never have started anything with you Jac: it was never fair Jac: and continuing it for how long I did was worse Amelia: No you shouldn't, neither should I Jac: I can see how it was harder for you to make a better decision though Jac: given your feelings Amelia: that's no excuse, and I'm not interested in giving myself an out Amelia: I should've made better choices because of how much I cared about you, it's worse if anything Jac: Okay, you don't have to, but I certainly don't hold it against you Jac: you were still coming from a place of care, even if misguided, I wasn't Amelia: it's not comforting Amelia: I was coming from a selfish place, I know that, whatever you think Jac: Alright, it doesn't need to be comforting, I'm just letting you know Jac: there's no need or reason that I feel for me to blame you Jac: but I need to say sorry, for that, and for how we ended things before that Amelia: No you don't, because I'm not just a fucking lose end for you to tie up before you leave Jac: That isn't what it is Jac: I owe apologies Amelia: you don't owe me anything Amelia: we ended things ages ago Jac: that doesn't mean anything Jac: I still wronged you and never owned up to those things Amelia: it means getting into it isn't something I want to do because I've tried really hard to get over it Jac: Then we don't have to Amelia: I'm looking forward, not backwards Amelia: and there isn't an apology I can give you that'll make anything I did okay or me feel okay about it either Jac: I'm not looking for an apology or anything in return Amelia: you should Amelia: because I wronged you too and never owned up to it Jac: I don't see it like that, it didn't feel like that Amelia: okay Jac: if it would help, then I'd accept it, but you've said it won't make you feel better so really, don't worry Amelia: right Jac: So, if my apology doesn't serve you either Jac: I'll leave you alone again now Amelia: you said you need to do it, so just do it, if it's that important to you Jac: only if it's going to reassure people, or give some sense of closure Jac: the latter being more what I was aiming for Jac: it's not going to be anything for me if it isn't for you Amelia: I'll get closure by not having to see you any more Jac: Neither of us is going to gone forever Jac: it'll certainly be easier, and less frequent Jac: but I'm not going to say you'll never see me again, that's just unrealistic Amelia: there's at least higher chance Amelia: my mum keeps me super busy with all her holiday traditions Jac: Fair enough Jac: I'd rather not be concerned about having to avoid anyone when I'm here Amelia: you'll be busy avoiding all of Jess' fan's and stalkers Amelia: I like his music, but not to that level Jac: That's fine, I can deal with that Amelia: good, he's worried about how it's gonna be for you all Jac: You don't need to tell me about my own brother Amelia: you don't need to get defensive about it Jac: I just don't need to talk about that with you Jac: it's not got anything to do with what needs to be said, if at all Amelia: we're not, we're basically done talking really Jac: If you like Amelia: I'd have liked for this conversation never to have been started but you know Jac: I can't do anything about that, I'm afraid Jac: Good luck and goodbye then Amelia: yeah, you too Jac: Thank you, I appreciate that Amelia: I'd never wish you bad luck Jac: Never said you would Amelia: I'm not a 🔮💎💫 gay, still don't even know that much about astrology Jac: Whoever you are, as long as you're happy with that Jac: it's certainly no business of mine Amelia: 😂 no and no Jac: I'm sorry to hear that on the former Amelia: maybe uni will fix everything, maybe not Jac: A fresh start in a new place can't hurt you Jac: and I'm sure you have other protections in place Amelia: 🤞 I won't be so dramatic Amelia: then it can't be as bad as here Jac: It's a change of scenery not a change of personality Amelia: rude Jac: I didn't mean it to be Amelia: it's a chance to grow up, I'm not 15 anymore and nobody there will have known me when I was Jac: That much is true Amelia: I'd say I'll see you around but if I do, I'll obviously act like I haven't Amelia: that's been working Jac: Whatever works for you Amelia: 👋 Jac: I'll be seeing you Amelia: no, you won't 👻 Jac: I didn't say I'd pretend or adopt the same methods you use Amelia: I can't make you Jac: No Jac: I've got no interest in burying my head in the sand Amelia: because you already did it for so long Jac: because I'm moving forward, not just looking Amelia: that's great Jac: It does feel it Amelia: good, you've felt like shit for long enough as well Jac: I guess so Amelia: okay then Jac: If that's all Jac: Bye Amelia Amelia: we still need a different word for it but yeah, bye Jac: Does it really matter? Amelia: doesn't it? that this time we actually mean it but it sounds exactly the same as the times we didn't Jac: There's nothing final implied by any goodbye Jac: it's just a way to end a conversation you don't want to have Amelia: but this time there should be Amelia: very anticlimactic Jac: I don't mean to be rude again but that really is your problem too, loquaciously and otherwise Jac: I'm not attempting dramatics Jac: I opened lines of conversation, you closed them, that's all this is Amelia: I'm attempting levity, if anything Amelia: but alright Jac: Why? Amelia: because you sound like you're giving a rehearsed speech Jac: just because I've put thought into what I'm going to say, doesn't mean it's any less valid Amelia: I didn't say it was invalid Jac: you're invalidating it Amelia: no more than you comparing me to an ostrich Jac: We're at very different places, clearly Amelia: you think you're so far ahead of me, clearly Jac: You're presenting me with avoidance as coping Jac: I'm not gonna say good luck with that, or good for you Jac: you can do whatever you like but I won't pretend I think it's brilliant Amelia: you're presenting me with patronising bullshit over any kind of real conversation Jac: I gave you the opportunity to air your grievances, you didn't want to Jac: I offered apologies, you did not want them either Amelia: I don't know if I'll ever be able to see you and not want to walk immediately off in the other direction, I don't need your judgment for it Jac: I'm not judging you, I'm not applauding or enabling, that's all Jac: I was never asking to be back in your life Amelia: you're asking me to accept your apology as if that will paper over every fucking crack and then we can just see each other out and about as strangers Jac: You don't have to, I was literally just trying to apologize and then see where you were at Jac: and I have Amelia: you've ❌ my name off your list Amelia: that's literally all this is to you Jac: Don't presume to know that Amelia: you're just going to walk away from this conversation with your closure and into your new life as a better person Jac: Well no I'm not, because you haven't given me that or accepted my apology Jac: just because I'm handling that rejection in a more measured, calm way, doesn't mean I feel any better than you, thank you Amelia: well take it, then you can continue to feel superior as much as you like Jac: I don't feel superior to you, I haven't said that once Jac: I'm sorry for whatever is making you feel that way Amelia: it's just your tone then, okay great Jac: If you're gonna tone police, then you will probably come up against much more resistance than I'm giving Jac: You feel bad about yourself, and I am sorry for how much I undoubtedly played into that Amelia: I feel bad because things are bad, and I don't have your certainty that a new place is just going to sort that out Jac: That must be hard for you Amelia: give me whatever other apologies you've got left to get this over with Jac: I really hope life improves for you Jac: it's sad to see Amelia: me too, obviously Jac: You should really talk to someone, if you aren't Amelia: I don't need to be told what to do, the uncertainty isn't total Jac: Simply a suggestion Amelia: my parents made it way before you Jac: I'm glad Jac: how's it going? Amelia: I'm not going to talk about it with you Jac: Okay Amelia: okay Jac: Enjoy the rest of your summer Amelia: you too Jac: 😄 Amelia: it can't all be apologies, you'll have to run out eventually Jac: What do you mean? Amelia: there's not an unending number of 💔 people Jac: Yes, but I don't really get what your point is? Amelia: take a break to take your own advice and enjoy the ☀🌳🌼 Jac: Of course Jac: it's not the only thing I have to do Jac: I'm plenty busy Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: sweet of you though Amelia: everyone will be thrilled I still have it in me Jac: I'm sure they all already know Amelia: based on what evidence Jac: You didn't disown all your new friends and stop talking to your family, did you? Jac: No, that was me Amelia: I don't have any friends so my family are the only people I have to talk to Jac: you clearly talk to my brother Jac: and, your family, so case in point x2 remains Amelia: I try not to x 2 Amelia: and I'm hardly sweet when I do, so no, my point remains there's no basis for that Jac: if you weren't capable of being sweet, it wouldn't be a try for not talking to them Jac: but sure Amelia: I'm capable of being selfish, like I said Jac: I'm aware Amelia: I need them, let's not act like any of what I'm saying is for their benefit Jac: Admitting you need people makes them feel good by default Jac: you could've convinced them that you didn't Jac: and that they're not allowed to need you Amelia: clearly I'm not capable of that Jac: it's not a bad thing Amelia: the ✔ or ❌ next to it is kind of irrelevant because it's what's happened anyway Jac: it's about how you feel about it Jac: I don't know why you're trying to convince yourself you were as bad as me Amelia: I don't know why you're trying to 😇 me Jac: Hardly Jac: there's just zero point being unrealistic about it now Amelia: exactly Jac: You were an awful friend to me Jac: and you stopped even that when I could have really used one Jac: that doesn't invalidate what I'm trying to apologise for Jac: and the fact that I took advantage of you and used you Amelia: I told you I don't want it Jac: No one is sainting you, is my point Jac: I really don't like you, at all Jac: that doesn't mean I didn't do wrong, that's the situation Amelia: I know you did, that's why I don't need it spelled out Jac: I'm not spelling it out Jac: I apologized, you didn't accept it Jac: now that's on you Jac: I've done my part Amelia: you're literally spelling that out Amelia: like I don't know what's happening Jac: you clearly are confused Jac: you've said completely the opposite of what I've said to you several times Jac: and I'm not interested in participating in that misunderstanding any longer Amelia: okay Jac: right, thank you Amelia: I accept your apology, you can go Jac: I'm not an idiot Jac: don't lie Jac: I'll still be able to move on without it Amelia: I'm not lying, I get that you're sorry and why Jac: No, the more I think about it, the more I don't want to do this Jac: don't bother Amelia: fine Jac: because an apology should be mutual, to work Jac: and I truly do not forgive you Jac: you actually talking to me again has only reminded me Jac: I'm sorry for contacting you, that was a mistake Amelia: it's alright, like I said, I get what you were trying to do Jac: there's no point pretending Amelia: no there isn't, what I did to you was horrific, don't forgive me Jac: there's windows of opportunity, sometimes Jac: and you had plenty of time Amelia: time doesn't heal everything Jac: and you prioritized yourself and your healing over me and the fact you've failed to do so Jac: yeah, that really disgusts me Jac: I can't help that, not yet Jac: I don't know when Amelia: I prioritised myself, I wasn't doing any healing, distraction isn't the same thing Jac: I don't even know if I'm able to forgive that Jac: but that's a me problem Jac: I can't care about you anymore, in any way, you walked out on me near a year ago, I need to do the same now Amelia: yeah you do Jac: fucking hell Jac: right Amelia: there's nothing else to say, I'm glad you're doing better but all I really did was throw myself into school Jac: there is so much more to say Jac: but you've made it clear how you feel Amelia: so have you Amelia: walk away, the last thing I want is any of this bullshit Jac: you've heard what you want, as per usual Jac: heaven forbid you have to deal with anything uncomfortable for you Amelia: fuck's sake Jac: because I really wanted to do this, you're right, it was all about me and how great this would make me feel Amelia: okay, it's not a walk in the park for you either Jac: how dare I try Amelia: I'm stubborn, not stupid Jac: so I'm not trying, yeah? Amelia: of course you fucking are Jac: and your solution is to not, ever Amelia: with you there isn't any solution Jac: fine Amelia: I treated you like shit, it doesn't matter how sorry I am or how hard I want to try Jac: Yes, it does Jac: it would Jac: that's such an excuse Amelia: no it's not, I am sorry but that doesn't and won't change anything Jac: you aren't sorry enough to do anything about it Jac: that's what you mean Jac: and like I said, fine Amelia: if there was anything I could Amelia: then I obviously would Jac: Okay, Amelia Jac: I can't tell you what to do Amelia: yeah you can, if there's something you want Jac: You don't have to serve what I want Amelia: I know that Jac: then just Jac: this hurts Amelia: it's been too long since I did the right thing Amelia: I don't know what to do Jac: Why haven't you been trying? Amelia: because I thought it would work, my parents just kept saying I needed time, to focus on studying, that once I get to uni things will be better Jac: it isn't going to just happen Jac: it's good that you've been studying but like you said, it's distraction Amelia: yeah Jac: but you'll never be over it if you ignore it, if we do Amelia: but trying to talk about it has only ever made it worse Amelia: we don't communicate well Jac: it can be different Amelia: can it? Jac: there has been time, distance Jac: the fact we're addressing it, that's different Jac: can we just, start this conversation again, try again Amelia: I don't get why you want to when you don't even like me Jac: because I loved you Jac: for a long time, that doesn't count for nothing Jac: I don't want it to Jac: and I don't want to dislike you Jac: what's the point of that? Amelia: okay Jac: I know you know and knew at the time that it was wrong, I get that, you aren't stupid and I'm not trying to keep saying the same thing over and over Jac: but I don't think either of us fully appreciated how hard it was for you to say no to me at the time Jac: and now I'm so ashamed of how much I used that to my advantage Amelia: I did so many things going really far back, to not say no to you, so I'm ashamed of that too Jac: yeah, it wasn't like it was just that, or it just started with that whole period of time Jac: I knew on some level Jac: and I used it, however unconsciously, I still did Jac: I don't really know why, except for the fact I could, pure selfishness, to get what I wanted Jac: it wasn't fair on you, but plenty of other people too Amelia: and I kept it going because I wanted to, even though I knew I shouldn't Jac: if I was any sort of friend, I wouldn't have put you in that position, of having to make that choice Amelia: if I was any sort of friend I would've put what I wanted to one side and actually tried to help you Jac: It's clear neither of us were in any position to help each other, after a point Jac: I just don't know when we got there Amelia: I didn't try hard enough, how can I say I loved or cared about you? Jac: I wouldn't let you Jac: but that doesn't feel true because I did let you in in those other ways Jac: which, again, confusing and not fair on any level Amelia: I don't think I can love or care about anyone properly, that's why I'm scared to go forward Jac: I don't think that's true, I'm aware that isn't comforting, or counts for much Jac: but if someone actually gave you the chance, and it was fair Jac: you can't base it on what we had Jac: it was bad for us both, and didn't work because of that Amelia: I'm not, I'm basing it on Is and Jess too Jac: We were all bad to Is Jac: it was like...I don't even know Jac: a way to make you fight for my attention? mutual bonding to leave her out? Jac: I'm not being vague purposefully, I truly do not know why Jac: I don't think we had much in common with her once we got older but still, we didn't have to do what we did Jac: and it's a whole different situation with Jess, I repeatedly told you to not be friends with him, starters, and obviously it's a reminder of me you didn't necessarily need Amelia: I just feel like I can't have friends, but what am I gonna do, not go? be the weird loner who doesn't get involved in anything? Jac: We were best friends Jac: and that blew up, spectacularly Jac: you're bound to have trauma Amelia: I have no idea if we were or not, maybe I was just 😍🥰 Amelia: because I can't pinpoint when that happened Jac: but we still were Jac: it can be both Jac: isn't it, ideally, when you have a s/o Amelia: not if I didn't treat you like it was both Amelia: which I obviously didn't because I had no issue ever saying no to Is Jac: maybe that was more about that we didn't treat Is like a friend Amelia: maybe Jac: I don't know Jac: I felt like we were friends Amelia: okay, that's a good start, I guess Jac: of course I did Jac: I know you loved me for a long time Jac: but does it discount the philia type of love Amelia: I don't know what that means but it sounds disgusting Jac Philia — Affectionate Love. Philia is love without romantic attraction and occurs between friends or family members. ... Pragma — Enduring Love. ... Storge — Familiar Love. ... Eros — Romantic Love. ... Ludus — Playful Love. ... Mania — Obsessive Love. ... Philautia — Self Love. ... Agape — Selfless Love. Jac: thanks, classics Amelia: oh well then I hope not Jac: I'm sure you can have more than one at play at once Jac: personal experience and general consensus Amelia: probably Jac: you can't go through life alone Jac: you don't need to Amelia: arguably I do need to Amelia: because I can't go through anything that comes close to this again Jac: I don't think it will Jac: and I'm not just being big-headed Jac: there's a lot of songs about it, more evidence Amelia: I haven't forgotten what you said about someone else taking advantage of me, even if you have Jac: I haven't Jac: I said Jac: particularly nasty things that day Amelia: it was an especially fucked up day for you Jac: yes, I haven't forgotten anything about that time Jac: if only Jac: I still had no right, to be as Jac: callous as I was Amelia: you wanted me to leave, it wouldn't have worked any other way Jac: yeah Jac: I needed you to Amelia: and I know you think it was a dick move for me to not be there after but it was for the best Amelia: you had Jesse, having me around would've just made shit worse Jac: I know nothing would have made it better, really Amelia: of course not Jac: I guess too much had passed between us at that point Jac: I didn't think we were there yet Jac: or that there was that point, arrogantly Amelia: that's why I decided for us Amelia: you had grieving to do Jac: I can see your thought process now Amelia: there's loads I should've handled differently but I'm not sorry for walking away then Amelia: it was bigger than me and us and that whole fucking thing Jac: It probably just hit me, that I had successfully isolated myself, at that point Jac: I can't blame you, I shouldn't Amelia: you can, if you want, there were loads of times I thought I should just get over myself and see how you were Jac: It just felt like you didn't care Jac: but complaining about that when that's consistently what I told you, well Jac: there was no way Amelia: I'll never stop caring about you Jac: Me either Amelia: but I'm not good for you Amelia: and even if I could've shown up and taken over from Jesse, it wouldn't have gone well or lasted Jac: but I never should have asked for the amount from you that I consistently did Jac: that's the truth Amelia: and I shouldn't have been willing to give you everything in exchange for nothing Jac: No Jac: but we don't have to go back, to fix this Jac: to be better Jac: we have to address it, not just push on Amelia: that's a relief because we can't go back or fix it Jac: Why do you think the latter though? Amelia: too much has happened Jac: but that doesn't mean stop and stagnate Jac: better things can and should happen Amelia: yeah, for both of us separately Amelia: you're way ahead of me Jac: I'm not Jac: but I agree Jac: but that doesn't mean we can't get us past this place Jac: like I said, that doesn't mean like it was before, or even a fraction of that, it can be what we want Jac: that's all I was ever suggesting Amelia: what do you want it to be? Jac: I don't want you to want to run when you see me, or for us to not be able to acknowledge that spending the majority of our childhood together means something for who we are now Jac: I don't have it in me to keep hurting you or the only way for that to not happen to be staying away forever Jac: maybe we still need time Jac: but maybe we can make a start Amelia: I can't imagine talking about ☀☁🌧🌨 with you, that's all Amelia: the feeling I had at Is' birthday party that last time was Amelia: I don't know, but I know I can't Jac: we don't have to pretend to be strangers Jac: there's no point in that Jac: setting boundaries this time doesn't have to equate to nothing to say Amelia: okay Jac: I know there's still chance we'll fuck up Jac: and I know you don't have load of reason to trust me Jac: but if we're both trying Jac: and at least communicating better than nothing Jac: surely Amelia: because I don't have the slightest clue how to set boundaries Amelia: or loads of trust in myself Amelia: but I'll try Jac: maybe it gets easier with practice Amelia: I'm not saying it'll go as badly as when I said I'd try to be friends with Savannah but let's aim for not Jac: 😂 Jac: the bars been set Amelia: I've got nothing if not realistic goals Jac: you did really well Jac: getting on the course you did Amelia: school's boring but not hard Jac: don't tell Delia Amelia: I don't think she'd open a message from me Jac: another congrats for her amazing grades? add it to the pile Amelia: not another declaration of love, how dare I? Amelia: our only conversation to date was her asking if I fancied her when I came out so she is waiting Jac: Oh my god Jac: delusion? wishful thinking? Jac: not her Jac: going to be so disappointed when she doesn't get swept off her feet by some Mr Darcy type at Uni Amelia: I like girls so obviously I MUST like her because she's head girl in EVERY WAY, it was simply a technically she didn't get the badge Jac: She's so tragic I'm breaking my rule of not shit-talking people to do so because Jac: yikes Jac: maybe she is THAT special, after-all Amelia: I told her it must have been SO hard coming such a clear 2nd to Savannah Moore at everything whilst having a bigger ego Amelia: but I think she thought that meant I fancied Savannah so Amelia: slightly awkward Jac: she might've just hated Sav more than you Amelia: we could've bonded over it if she'd been less Amelia: her Jac: Yeah, I'm really gutted for you both on that Amelia: I'm really gutted that she doesn't realise your grades were better Amelia: like maybe she can't count Amelia: it's all a dramatic cover for illiteracy Jac: do we call that innumerate or Jac: ha, we do Jac: ['cos did just google that] Amelia: Jess wasn't far off her grades and he don't care, she can honestly calm down Jac: The compensation is real with that one Amelia: 😏 Jac: I hope she has a great time in Bath Jac: I don't hope that Savannah is there too and she has to rekindle that 'rivalry' or anything Amelia: 😂 Amelia: that's so gay Jac: if this were a Netflix adaptation of a YA novel, for sure Amelia: Sav is too pretty for her, people would be up in arms Jac: not people like Delia Jac: aspirational, the ugly nerd girl gets the hottie Amelia: she does look like she could be royalty, maybe that's the plot twist Jac: fucking secret princess Jac: yeah, Savannah probably would have gone for that Jac: if Delia pretends to be a boy too, get Shakesperian Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've missed you Amelia: not that I've had much competition Amelia: I love Jess but he isn't very chatty Jac: he's been more of a warden than a friend, or normal brother Jac: not his fault, that was what he had to be but yeah Amelia: and less said about Darla the fucking better, to be honest Amelia: I wasn't 💔 when she finished school Jac: Well she was what I needed her to be Jac: naturally, as was everyone in that period Amelia: an enabler, yeah, she was Jac: she's got a fucked life Jac: and I didn't help her no more than she helped me so Jac: guess it makes us equal enough Amelia: I've missed you too, by the way Jac: Yeah, tah Amelia: not only because having your mum for a BFF is the coolest Jac: at least she does know all the good gossip Amelia: and I know how to cross stitch, crochet and knit, gonna be an amazing wife Jac: your future wife better love a handmade gift Amelia: I made you an oversized scarf but I also learnt my lesson about leaving stuff outside your 🏠 Jac: Perhaps a stray could have used it for a bed or something Amelia: okay, I'll leave it when I'm going that way Jac: I'm sorry Amelia: me too Jac: If I wasn't such a bitch, they'd have been really nice gifts Amelia: yeah, I'm a thoughtful bitch Jac: 😂 Amelia: 😉 Jac: Shame some passing gay 🤓 didn't rescue 'em Amelia: any passing gay 🤓 has probably already read them Jac: how much gay literature have you consumed, whilst not knitting like a 👵 Amelia: [a list lol] Jac: Oh God Amelia: I don't recommend most of it, wouldn't even to Delia Jac: I don't really do non-fiction, which you conveniently forgot when trying to bash me over the head with your moral messages and thoughtful bitch-ness Jac: maybe read a case study or two, but wouldn't recommend, it's not the most reassuring Amelia: at least I didn't hit you over the head with Shakespeare or Les Mis or War and Peace Amelia: and I didn't forget Jac: that's more assault than insult Amelia: the first 📖 was because it only took my 10 minutes to find my parents 🎁 and the 2nd was to put my 🎨 in to try and protect it from the ❄ Jac: [why I write non-fiction when I clearly meant fiction I've annoyed myself wid that lol just so we don't get confused on a re-read] Jac: and the stories were a total coincidence Jac: not like plastic bags are cheaper or more plentiful Amelia: not to me but I knew YOU wouldn't read them Jac: I can google a title and get the sparknotes, like Jac: 👌👌 Amelia: 👏👏 Jac: erm don't be rude Jac: you knew I'd do that, I mean Amelia: I didn't know anything about what you would or wouldn't do Jac: except that I wouldn't read them, obvs Amelia: yeah, well the wouldn'ts are a bit easier than the woulds Jac: be very obvious if I lobbed them back through your window Jac: don't even need your ma's keen senses to work that one out Amelia: you wouldn't come that close to my 🏠 Jac: unlike you, I have no reason to be anywhere near Jac: again, obvious Amelia: unlike you I don't need a reason Jac: sounds mildly stalkerish Amelia: 😕 you're right Amelia: I won't bother to delete it though Jac: Progress Jac: it's fine, there's been very little too stalk, accusing you of that lately would just be embarrassing for me Amelia: likewise Amelia: unless you really want to see what else I've been knitting that badly Jac: you don't have a etsy yet? Jac: slacking Amelia: I wouldn't gift it to you if anyone else would have it Amelia: I didn't say I was good, only that I technically learned how Jac: Charming Jac: you want me to walk around looking a state Amelia: it's the thought that counts Amelia: and I'm under no illusion you'd wear it Amelia: it's not chanel Jac: we're still a while away from me being able to wear exclusively chanel Amelia: 💔 Jac: I know Jac: all bitch no rich, according to you Jac: not the one Amelia: you wish I'd ever called you names Amelia: I can flirt better than that, thank you Jac: That's a development too Jac: I distinctly remember 😳 Amelia: rude Jac: but true Jac: and we aren't pretending to be strangers, remember Amelia: 😣 fine Jac: 😉 Amelia: how long did the 💄 even last once you'd thawed or whatever? Jac: not like I was doing much 💋 after Jac: not to say it was poorly timed but you know Amelia: because that's the only time you ever wear it, we're not strangers Jac: okay, yeah Jac: I've still got it though Amelia: maybe it's not a total 🤑 scam in that case Jac: it is still for special occasions, if not just 💋s Jac: plus, like you said, my brother is the only person I'm hanging out with and enough fans thought we were dating for a while there without trying that hard for him 🤢 Amelia: your family and incest Jac: can you not Amelia: sorry Jac: you're okay Jac: it is vomit-inducing though Amelia: yeah Jac: like didn't want to be 'outed' as his sister but the speculation is worse Amelia: loads of fans thought we were 😍🥰😘 after I went to one gig and that made me feel 🤢 too Amelia: happy to be outed Jac: ha, seriously Jac: it's so weird Amelia: I must not have wearing 👖 that night or something Jac: gays own denim, yeah? Amelia: your guess is as likely to be right as mine is Amelia: I'm the only gay I know Jac: bollocks Jac: there's loads of out kids Amelia: and I don't know them, my mum is my best mate, remember Jac: 1. you had a girlfriend and all her pals, however briefly 2. you claim to know/love my brother 3. so what are you talking about Amelia: 1. I've mentally blocked out that entire time period 2. he's not gay Jac: 1. fair enough, yeah 2. neither are you unless we are using it as an umbrella term so suck it Amelia: 👅🍭 Jac: 😋 Amelia: or 🍦 because it's ☀ Jac: that would constitute enjoying the rest of our summer Amelia: you did tell me to Jac: likewise Jac: are you going to go to any of these final-blowout-before-we-all-leave-forever parties? Amelia: I don't know Jac: Me either Jac: probably not though Amelia: if Jess wants to before I go, I might, but there's loads of other things I'd rather do instead Jac: cute Amelia: he is my sometimes boyfriend, ask the fans Jac: that's truly horrifying Amelia: maybe I'll be washing my 👖 Jac: write a song about it, boy Amelia: 😂 Jac: he would Jac: tell me I'm wrong Jac: you can't Amelia: he definitely would Amelia: as enjoyable as it always is telling you you're wrong Jac: more enjoyable than hearing his 💔 Amelia: yeah Jac: but not 🍦 Amelia: I'm very hungry right now so no Jac: I mean, go ahead Jac: but I'm never wrong Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: 😲 Amelia: you were wrong when you thought you could ✂ your own hair Jac: I can't wait to be somewhere no one knows that anecdote Jac: and there isn't photographic evidence Amelia: and when you told me my mum's 🌹 didn't have thorns because you wanted me to pick them for you Jac: well, that was just a lie, not being wrong Jac: surprised your mum didn't cut my hair with her secateurs after that, like Amelia: okay but I can probably go on and on all day if you want Amelia: ending on my forehead scar for dramatic effect Jac: you're the one that ❤s it more than ice-cream and indie pop Jac: anyway, I feel enough guilt and shame for the things I did wrong way more recently than that, if we're being real Amelia: yeah, I know Amelia: me too Jac: summer bummer Amelia: hey, we're trying Jac: true Jac: not that bad, is it Amelia: maybe we should go to one of the parties, do it right Jac: you think? Amelia: I might worry less about freshers if I can do that without fucking it up Jac: Alright Jac: if we find one with the least offensive cast of dickheads Amelia: if anything that sounds harder than not fucking it up but okay Jac: at least Delia won't be at any Jac: it'll be fine Amelia: I'm 💔 about the lack of goodbye 💋 so if you could just not mention her name Jac: 🤐 Amelia: thanks Jac: any time Amelia: and we can leave any time if it's the worst idea I've ever had Jac: now that's unlikely Jac: however boring it is Amelia: alright, if I'm the worst date ever Jac: nah Jac: you haven't forgotten how many boys I've dated Amelia: I've tried to Jac: 🤐🤐 Amelia: 🥀🥀 Jac: don't worry, I'm very aware how tragic it was, no need to pretend Amelia: I'm just wondering if they are or if they really think they did something 🏆⭐ Jac: They did me and that was the 🏆⭐ Jac: some people can get an ego over nothing, like she-who-must-not-be-named but the majority were clued in Amelia: no arguments from me, you were 🏆⭐ Jac: you weren't bad yourself Amelia: it's not a real compliment, it's an if I were dressed like a Shakespearean boy one, so I don't need any back Jac: no it's not Amelia: and I'm going outside, you'll be thrilled to hear Amelia: ☀🌳🌼 Jac: that's nice and all but why are you ignoring me coming out to you Amelia: because I don't know what to do with it Jac: okay Jac: that went well then Amelia: how did you expect it to go? Jac: thought you might be able to muster a happy for you or something Jac: what did your mum say when you first told her? Amelia: she asked me if I was sure, which I'm obviously not going to say Jac: did you tell her she was the first person you told? Amelia: no Jac: well maybe that would've been a better place for me to start Amelia: I don't think I should be the first person you tell anything Jac: it's not like you didn't know already Jac: that's the only reason why Jac: I'm not gonna make an announcement Amelia: and you weren't happy so I'm not going to say I'm happy for you Jac: alright Jac: don't worry about it Amelia: I'm not worried about it, if you're telling me, that's different from how it was before Jac: yeah, sort of what I'm going for Amelia: the fresh start thing, yeah Jac: right Jac: may as well give it a shot Amelia: you'll have loads of chances to get a better reaction than the one you got from me Jac: not going to get laid Jac: or join a GSA Jac: just also not lying and getting laid by dudes, that's all Amelia: okay Jac: unless there's a future king of England, that's just the kind of chance you have to take regardless Amelia: 😂 Amelia: I'll let you, Sav and Delia be 👸👸🏾👸🏼 it's not really the happily ever after I'm looking for Jac: not that it ever is really Jac: 📸🏎🚇💀💔 Amelia: Jess' fans are intense enough Jac: 🙄 yeah, can't wait for the complex he gets Amelia: loads of girls have already asked me out to try and get close to him, no thank you Jac: Ew Jac: another reason not to come out Amelia: you'll just get lads doing it instead Jac: nah Jac: lads aren't like that and he has like no male fans Amelia: not yet Jac: still Jac: gay boys aren't gonna pretend to be straight to clout chase Amelia: I was thinking more straight lads trying to be his mate and take his fan girls but sure Jac: why are you wishing predators on me just to prove boys are as bad as straight girls Jac: 🤨 Amelia: I haven't made any wishes Jac: hmm 👌 Amelia: you can have a clichéd good luck message when you actually leave Jac: I'll look forward to it Jac: you're so jaded now yeah Amelia: not that kind of 👵 Jac: I've only got the one so not much to compare Jac: ❌👵👴👴 Amelia: I'll cellotape 💰 to any cards I send you along with the 🧶🧣🧤🧦🧸 Amelia: leave you long rambling voicemails because I refuse to text and show up at every family function only to leave like an hour later Amelia: the full experience Jac: honestly, sounds like you anyway Jac: not a big stretch is it Jac: 😄 Amelia: I wouldn't do it if it was, selfish bitch that I am Jac: Obvs Amelia: 😏 Jac: right Jac: better let you go enjoy the ☀🌳🌼 as requested Amelia: don't worry, I'm a 👵 who can do a few things at once Amelia: not wearing my 🍦 or anything Jac: knitted bib would probably not work Amelia: my mum must've tried it when I was a baby Jac: she probably soldiered on as well Jac: like with the bob Amelia: 😣 Amelia: BFF or not, I won't be asking her advice on what to wear for my first day of lectures Jac: Bless Jac: the preppy look would be more her wheelhouse than freshers though Amelia: freshers is a banned word in our 🏠 Amelia: she thinks I'm going to go insane Jac: you aren't Delia who's never been to a real party in her life Jac: I'll send her some charcoal all ready, like Jac: DIY Amelia: she'd probably assume it was an early 🎄🎅🎁 and you were calling her 👿 Jac: she is that pessimist Jac: not gonna beat you with a switch, sorry girl Amelia: she'd at least need to buy you a drink first Jac: I'd need more than a single drink, tah Amelia: 🍾 Jac: that's the vibe Jac: [examples 'cos St Andrews so bouj with the champagne etc lol] Amelia: you'll fit right in Amelia: I don't know what Cork's vibe is Jac: You should check out the #s it can be really useful Jac: if you're not quite ready to dip your toe into the freshers whatsapps yet Jac: I'm holding off 'cos 😬 Amelia: me too, I feel at risk of a migraine just thinking about it Amelia: which would be about right when I haven't had as many lately Jac: alright, I get it Jac: massive pain in your 🤯 Jac: I'm glad you've got 'em a bit more under control though Amelia: I mean, you're not on my official triggers list technically Amelia: even if I was apparently always 😳 Jac: Yeah Jac: but that's easily dealt with Amelia: right Jac: better than an aspirin, anyway Amelia: true, I'm still shit at swallowing 💊s Jac: That gay Amelia: 😂 Jac: Might go to [this] hers Jac: they weren't that awful Amelia: and it's not that far if we decide to 🏃 away Jac: and her parents will only be down the pub or something 'til they call time, so no chance of it getting out of hand Amelia: my parents will be thrilled Jac: if you don't want them to join you on freshers Amelia: thank god she isn't reading over my shoulder right now, you'd have given her ideas Jac: no way she weren't already thinking of ways to 🔭 Amelia: one of many reasons I'd never go to Trinity Jac: Same Jac: can't imagine anything worse Amelia: UCC's website already makes the BOLD claim of being in the top 2% of universities in the world so obviously I have no need anyway Amelia: don't ask me how they worked out anything like that Amelia: 🤨 Jac: top 2% at what Jac: I love when they try to blind you with stats Jac: some of the websites are abhorent Amelia: Bath's would give me a migraine Amelia: because yeah I've looked at it Jac: don't remind me 💔 Amelia: I'll invite Delia to the party if you like, that'll make you feel loads better Jac: I AM thrilled that no one from school is going to st andys too Jac: 👀 anyone across campus, let alone her, nope Amelia: shit, now that you mention it, I really don't like my chances of not running into anyone quite as much Amelia: that'll be a great orientation depending who I get Jac: I think they're gonna announce it all at that ball thing they're doing Jac: if you're going to that Amelia: I probably have to now Amelia: to get a warning Amelia: 😬 Jac: just don't dramatically gasp or scream in horror Jac: the other person/people might be a bit offended Amelia: that'll be everyone else at me in a 👗 again Jac: okay, cinderella fantasy Amelia: thanks, yeah, I'm totally rocking some summer rags as we speak Amelia: I get it, if it's not chanel I might as well 🧹 the floor in it or with it Jac: at least you name isn't prefaced with ugly or evil Jac: r* Jac: 🐭🎃✨ Amelia: but I can't be leaving 👠 behind Jac: packing is so weird Jac: how do you even know how much to take Amelia: I just know I'm going to have to keep going back and forth because I haven't grabbed the right things Amelia: I don't envy you Jac: what are you doing for living your 1st year? Amelia: rooms are on a lottery so if I don't get one I'll have to stay here and 🚗 Jac: Oh Jac: that's tense Jac: I'll 🤞🤞 Amelia: scared as I am, I seriously don't want to live at 🏠 Amelia: what kind of fresh start is that? Jac: I agree, I mean, obviously Jac: I couldn't go much further Jac: you'd miss out if you had to commute, on all the student life Amelia: exactly, they also brag about having over 100 societies Jac: we love an option Jac: it'll be good Jac: even if you do 🚗 for a bit, you'll meet people you actually wanna share with later Amelia: 🤞🤞 Amelia: so are you going to the ball 👸? Jac: better than being stuck with total nightmare housemates Jac: I opted for a single room for that same reason Jac: only so nice I can be still Jac: I wanted to scream at Jude earlier but I had to just 🙂🙂 Jac: May as well, though everyone is pairing up and making that a thing, or going as a girly group and then that's another thing so Amelia: right? I've never even had to share a bathroom before, I'm too only child for this bullshit to be honest Jac: ^^ you wouldn't cope, soz Amelia: I'd rather sleep in my 🚗 than with nightmare housemates Amelia: fuck's sake, maybe I won't go to the ball and take my chances with whoever else is going to UCC Amelia: we probably won't ever run into each other anyway Jac: I saw Is and all her mates dress shopping in town the other day Amelia: did she see you? Jac: Thankfully not Jac: I was stocking up on some beauty essentials so I was far enough away for that convo not to happen Amelia: It's so weird to just see her around Amelia: she always looks good though Jac: Yeah Jac: she's gonna be really happy Jac: it's good Amelia: but it has made my mind up about not going, because there's no way I'm going dress shopping Amelia: and nothing online can be trusted Jac: We could've gone together Jac: pure solidarity thing, as we have no one else to go with Jac: apart from Jess Amelia: do you want to? Jac: I mean, yeah Jac: the last day was pretty anti-climatic Jac: at least this will feel like a proper goodbye Amelia: I'm aware I haven't really shone in this conversation so okay Jac: You don't have to Jac: but it could be alright, us three Jac: see it through to the end properly, you know Amelia: I want to though, when you put it like that Jac: Okay Jac: cool Jac: I'll tell Jess Jac: at least he has to have something approaching formalwear these days Amelia: maybe he'll let me borrow it Jac: the full 🤵🏻 moment Amelia: I guess, if it means I can escape the 🛍 moment Jac: you don't have ANYTHING? Amelia: no ?????? maybe ??????? Amelia: I don't know, it's not a house party Jac: 🙄😂 Jac: in fairness, every other bitch is finished by now Jac: so you aren't going to run into everyone Amelia: what are you planning on wearing? Jac: 🤔 Jac: I probably have options Jac: if I've worn it too recently is always the question Amelia: we're going shopping, aren't we? Jac: it sounds like we need to Amelia: alright Jac: When do you wanna go Jac: I've wrapped up work now so I'm pretty free most of the time Jac: when not packing, unpacking, repacking Amelia: tomorrow so I can change my mind AGAIN back to not going if all the 👗 suck Amelia: plus my mum is busy and can't gatecrash to volunteer any 'advice' Amelia: more importantly, where do we want to go? because I'll 🚗 Amelia: obviously you'll be wanting to look 🤑 Jac: I won't make you do Brown Thomas Jac: but could we do Powerscourt? Jac: 🥺 Amelia: you can't make me do anything anymore but because you've made such a convincing argument with 🥺 yeah we can Jac: Oh that's right Jac: we're both better people now Jac: I still love Powerscourt though Amelia: I don't want you to change everything about yourself, that's erasure not improvement Amelia: and I still love how your face lights up when you go there Jac: It is knowing which parts to cut off and which can be salvaged Jac: like  🌹 🥀 Jac: speaking of, the garden flower shop 😍😍 Amelia: like 🖌 too sometimes you want to leave the first brush strokes in and sometimes you don't Amelia: fine, I'll make you a corsage, don't feel like you have to 🥺 I've made a shit load of Christmas wreaths, it'll be a piece of cake Jac: exactly Jac: or what 🖌 stroke is going to be the one that's one too many Jac: or the painting that never seems quite finished Jac: by the way, if you do have to keep living here, please ensure my sister doesn't ruin my room Jac: there was talk of a mural Amelia: 😣 don't! I'm not going to miss any of those dilemmas when I have zero time for 🎨 Amelia: 😂 of course there was Amelia: Oh Jude Jac: Far too busy being Sherlock 🧐 Jac: I think she was just trying to get a rise out of me, so naturally I didn't give anything Jac: but God knows the eyesore I'll come back to Amelia: I'll find out if she was serious or not when I devote my time to spying on the state of your bedroom walls Jac: It can't all be murders at dinner parties Amelia: 💔 Amelia: now you tell me Amelia: I've been channelling Miss Marple all year for nothing Jac: 😅 Jac: she was a bad bitch Amelia: likewise 😎 that was the easy bit Jac: you're such a fool Jac: 😏 Amelia: you gave me another chance, I dread to think what it makes you Jac: what's it about beggars not having much option? Amelia: if you're financially fucked to that level we probably shouldn't go to Powerscourt Jac: Please, all I did was work this past year Jac: school and actual Jac: may as well blow some of it before I'm using it to eat rice every night at uni or whatever Amelia: stop flexing at me, thank you, I don't wish to see it Amelia: or you the return of my 😳 Jac: I don't know what you're talking about 💪 Jac: and I have fond memories of your 😳 too Amelia: past tense not present Amelia: 😎🍦 Jac: not even for old times sake then? Jac: 💔 Amelia: you can't even see me right now and if you're using your imagination there's loads of old times to remind yourself of Jac: but when I do Amelia: I couldn't possibly comment on tomorrow before it has happened Amelia: not a 🔮💎💫 gay, if you recall Jac: so sorry Jac: about your lack of powers Jac: be really good if being gay came with those kinda perks, tbh Amelia: very disappointing Jac: yeah, I'll bring it up with god when I get there, like Amelia: I'll bring it up with 👿 so all bases are covered Amelia: because I was a miracle and I squandered it, or whatever Jac: Hardly Jac: 1. your mum loves the gays and you having a baby will be such a trial she will live for the bonding 2. you've survived to go to uni that's like all they want Amelia: 🎺I feel so accomplished suddenly Jac: yeah, I know, making things sound as harsh as possible is my speciality Jac: but you actually should be Amelia: for what? Jac: Loads of things Jac: mainly getting on your course at the mo though, as that's all we can talk or think about Amelia: it's about picking the right subjects, that's all Amelia: like I said, school is boring but not hard 🧩 Jac: you still did that Jac: and that means you're smart Jac: or it would be both Amelia: you're the only one who didn't believe I had a plan or fuck to give about the future Jac: I was just trying to make sure you didn't give up Amelia: that went well Jac: yeah, I know Jac: okay, it was still rude to say, even if I had good intentions Amelia: you've been ruder, so have I Jac: I'm sure I don't even remember half the shit I said Jac: feel free to regale me with my worst hits if you wanna and I'll try not to kill myself, like Amelia: It's not as if I'd enjoy reliving it either Jac: it'd be alright if you did Amelia: not really Jac: I'm owed a lot worse than squirming for a bit from you Jac: but let's not then, unless you change your mind Jac: works for me Amelia: if I fancy 🎣 I know where you are Jac: I didn't take up old people hobbies too, I'm afraid Amelia: it'd be a bit rude to leave my dad entirely out Amelia: but actually his hobby is just sitting down in different places depending on the ☀☁🌧🌨 Jac: 😂 Jac: can think of worse Amelia: it's an easy one to take up when you get to Edinburgh so you're welcome for the great suggestion Jac: 🤞 there will be no time right Amelia: yeah, there is probably only so much distraction we can stand and we already got to the limit 🌠 Jac: I will have a garden though Jac: and there's the golf course Jac: those are old people adjacent Amelia: of course you'll have a garden Amelia: that's the biggest you incentive I've ever heard Jac: it sold the single bed over the double Jac: along with the more historic building Jac: was used to a single anyway before the basement Amelia: if you're desperate to stretch just go sleep in the 🌳🌼🌹🌷🌻 Jac: 😅 it's Edinburgh, not the Bahamas Amelia: obviously wear clothes Jac: I would manage that without your advice, thank you Jac: didn't go that mental post baby Amelia: I'll knit you a blanket and maybe some kind of onesie, it'll be fine Jac: just so dating really isn't an option 👌 Amelia: maybe if it's tartan the locals will be super into it Jac: nothing more endearing than a bit of mockery 💰🌈 Amelia: no 🌈 don't worry, I haven't fully transformed into my mother Jac: 😏 Amelia: at least you know you're getting a 🛏 Jac: yeah, that is shitty Jac: they famously charge more than any other uni for said rooms so Jac: there's that Amelia: 🤑 Jac: I'm gonna be broke forever 🎻 Amelia: until you straighten up and get that 🤴 Jac: at least some rich royal wannabe Amelia: I'll be a starving artist with no time to pick up a brush Jac: 🕵 Amelia: Miss Marple never solved student debt Amelia: I guess it's up to me Jac: she was a school of life type, aka totally unqualified, just nosy Amelia: and of 'independent means' aka 🤑💰💰 Jac: duh Jac: poor people weren't worth writing about Amelia: how would you know? you don't read any fiction Jac: exactly Jac: I've read the reports Amelia: because they can be trusted any more than the UCC website I'm sure Jac: data to back up the findings is key Jac: be interested to see UCCs Amelia: unlikely they have any Amelia: but I'll ask Jac: may as well get friendly with the staff Jac: start as you mean to go on Amelia: sweet of you to think about getting me a date Amelia: I don't think I'll start there though Jac: if you go for that cliche, like Jac: the fresh start thing we're doing might have to be reconsidered Amelia: I'm really cool with NOT Amelia: falling for your childhood best friend is enough of one Jac: you've read the books, I couldn't possibly comment Amelia: it's usually some 😎 new hs student which your parents have been there and done Jac: Yeah Jac: I don't think the hilarity of the situation escaped them Amelia: it's always really funny to hear about so clearly not Jac: yeah, from an outside POV Jac: having your parents live out a romcom just gives you unattainable and unrealistic expectations Jac: see Jude Amelia: okay, point taken Jac: now beyond unattainable for me Amelia: nothing's unattainable for you Jac: you're sweet Amelia: no, unlike Jude you set goals and work towards achieving them until you have Amelia: if there's something you want, you'll get there Jac: isn't ❤ meant to be beyond all that Jac: not something you can put in the diary or on a vision board, like Amelia: 😍 maybe Amelia: but love takes effort Jac: I don't know Jac: if I'll ever be ready Jac: so for now, it can take a backseat and that's fine Amelia: yeah, I feel the same way Jac: 🕮 Amelia: 🤓 Jac: *🤓🤓 Amelia: when I wear my glasses it's really not that far off Jac: you look cute in your glasses Amelia: 🤥 you do Amelia: I look like a kids book character Jac: what's wrong with that? Amelia: I'm not trying to bring back 👧🏻 Jac: I liked your hair too Amelia: maybe you need new glasses Amelia: I am going to do something different with it for uni though, I just need to decide Jac: you could never take a compliment Jac: 🟥 🟧 🟨 🟩 🟦 🟪 ⬛️ ⬜️? Amelia: I'll pack them all up in my suitcase and take them to Cork in case I don't like it Jac: just don't start with red then Amelia: I'd never get that out Amelia: even more persistent than you with the compliments Jac: your mum would also think the breakdown had begun so Jac: wouldn't Amelia: she hasn't had me sectioned yet, assumedly it'll take more than rebel red or whatever they've called it Jac: 😂 Jac: you know it's someone like Delia coming up with these names Amelia: they should poach my mum off my dad's reception, she has A LOT to say about what 🧵🧶 colours are named Jac: a new career would keep her busy Jac: empty nest is real Amelia: I did consider getting her a pet but if it's too cute, I won't want to leave Jac: you're so soft Amelia: is that another compliment or an insult? Jac: it's an insult, don't worry Jac: no need for 😳 Amelia: okay Jac: she can have one of the dogs Jac: wouldn't miss the one Amelia: and expose my dad's fake allergy? he's worked so hard on that lie Jac: such a move Jac: suddenly LOVES animals now you're gone Jac: I would Amelia: 😣 Jac: maybe I can convince him Jac: add him to my list, like Amelia: because that doesn't sound like you're about to seduce my dad Jac: only so you can have a dog Jac: excuse you Amelia: I don't want one THAT badly Jac: and I don't want your dad at all, tah Amelia: if you did you'd have kissed him instead of Valentina during your attempt to ruin my life or whatever so yeah, I figured Jac: I forgot who that was Jac: even your girlfriend had an 👵 name Amelia: funnily enough that wasn't why I went out with her Jac: Sure Amelia: at least I know she isn't going to Cork or any uni Jac: Colour me surprised Jac: I remember her being stupid Amelia: you barely remembered her name, she didn't make a lasting impression, clearly Jac: duh Jac: wasn't 😍 Amelia: I know Jac: were you Amelia: all the things you could ask me and you go with one about her? Jac: I'm not on a limit of questions, am I? Amelia: I don't know what you're planning on doing later Jac: got that much to say? Amelia: did you want unlimited quick fire questions? Jac: you don't have to answer Jac: but you haven't Amelia: I wasn't 😍 Jac: okay Amelia: it was just uncomplicated Jac: she was Jac: I get it Amelia: because she was blatant about what she wanted and why Jac: yeah Jac: that's what you needed at the time Amelia: no it wasn't Jac: wanted then Amelia: it was a bad idea in a long line of Amelia: the first distraction Jac: it was a better idea than the alternative at the time Amelia: the alternative was being single so no, that would've been a way smarter move Jac: I meant what I started that night Amelia: well yeah, but we're talking about my decisions and I wasn't going to do that Jac: that would've been too smart, I suppose Amelia: me kissing whatever lad you were with at the time would have been literally the opposite of smart Jac: that's not what I mean Amelia: I know what you mean Jac: it's not blame Jac: it would've been smarter for us all Amelia: yeah Jac: alas Amelia: 💔 Jac: you're alright now Jac: pretty sure you led with that Amelia: I wasn't going to lead with the alternative Jac: yeah Jac: Jude did the same Jac: totally thriving, not at all bullshitting Amelia: Oh great, it's been ages since you compared me to your sister, I've really missed it Jac: I can't help it if your approaches are similar and as blatant to see right through Jac: get better Jac: 😉 Amelia: it was your choice to bring it up to annoy me, which you could easily do better at Jac: well I'm not used to being nice Jac: it'll take me a while to be really good at it Amelia: I'm not used to you giving me a sober compliment, we're both trying new things here Jac: I complimented you before Jac: you act like I never did when we were friends Amelia: forever ago then Amelia: when you were nice Jac: rude but fair Jac: I was never that nice, actually Amelia: I remember you being nice to me Jac: ha Jac: you admitted it Amelia: that you were nice to me when we were friends, yeah, it's right there Jac: mhmm Jac: I see it Amelia: if you're about to accuse me of bullshitting, go on Amelia: be brave Jac: why would I? Amelia: I don't know, to be annoying Jac: I'm not trying to be annoying Jac: so nah Amelia: okay Jac: I'm gonna go to that party Amelia: are you telling me because you want me there or as far away as possible? Jac: I'm just telling you because Jac: but no, if I see you there, I won't run Jac: but if you don't wanna see me, there's the warning Amelia: I'm seeing you tomorrow, just you Amelia: why would I need a warning for seeing you at a party Jac: Parties are a trigger Amelia: lots of things are Jac: it might be different Jac: in person Jac: and I've not been to a party since all I did at parties was get blackout at them and not remember much of the rest so Amelia: I won't go if it's going to make it harder for you Jac: no, that's not Jac: I don't even know if I should Jac: like you said, I can't not join in at Uni, that's not what I want Amelia: you have to start somewhere Amelia: and Jess would go with you if you want moral support from someone who isn't me Amelia: because I'm well aware I've never been great at it Jac: people from school SHOULDN'T fawn after him Jac: the whole playing it cool, knew you before you blew up, moment of it all Jac: but still Amelia: yeah, there's probably a lot of things people from school shouldn't do, but that's a different conversation Amelia: and a long one Jac: maybe I can't be bothered Jac: none of the people will be at uni, that'll take away the need to get completely trashed Amelia: right Jac: fuck it Jac: you go Jac: I'll stay home and knit instead Amelia: 😂 Jac: how hard can it be Amelia: you'll see Jac: judgmental 👵 Amelia: a rare 👵 who is willing to let you make up your own mind Jac: alright ✌🌍❤🕊 Amelia: shut up Jac: you'reso woke Jac: 😂 Amelia: I don't know how well you'll knit, that's all Jac: I don't knit Amelia: not yet Jac: your ma has brainwashed you a bit Amelia: that's why I'm going to the party Amelia: to break her control Jac: 👏 Amelia: alright, no need to take the piss Jac: I'm not Amelia: it's a small and bound to be disappointing step, I know Jac: little bit Amelia: but I don't know where else to start so Jac: it's a good idea Amelia: then why doesn't it feel like one? Jac: how was the last one you went to? Amelia: depressing Jac: that's normal, isn't it Jac: parties are Jac: you reckon you're meant to be having the best time ever and you ain't, that's the mood Amelia: it's lonely Jac: yep Amelia: but anyway Jac: we're both totally fine 👌 Amelia: of course Jac: tomorrow though Amelia: send me a message when you're ready to get picked up or something Jac: Sure thing Jac: See you then Amelia: okay Amelia: 👋

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: What are you going to wear to Ro's birthday? Fraze: Pick whatever you like for this fantasy where I'm going Bea: You have to Bea: you have no excuse not to Fraze: I don't need an excuse now that I'm too big for my ma, or da come to that, to drag me anywhere Fraze: I don't wanna, I don't have to, end of Bea: It's still family regardless of anyone's ability to literally make you Bea: anyway, she needs the numbers Fraze: I don't hear her begging Bea: She's not about to, is she Bea: you know what she's like Fraze: And you know where to find me when you've had enough of what she's like Bea: Well if you must know I don't think I'll bother to come back either then Bea: why should I make any effort Fraze: 'Cause you had a solid enough argument there with the family obligation bullshit, even if you lost it with the part about keeping numbers up Bea: Joe isn't coming, you aren't Bea: so fuck it, clearly Fraze: She ain't our sister, she's yours Bea: Seriously Fraze: Come on Fraze: I know you didn't expect a different answer Bea: You know literally nothing Bea: How can I lecture her about being part of this family if that's how you feel Bea: and how can I expect her to feel like a part of it if she isn't, apparently, for fuck's sake Fraze: She is with the rest of them, don't start Fraze: How can I act like it's all that black and white when the only thing that is, is how I feel about you? Fraze: we've been over it Bea: You can't pick and choose Bea: that's not how this is meant to work Fraze: Well it's too fucking late Fraze: I already did Bea: Great, so she gets to be right Bea: fantastic, thanks Fraze: What do you want me to do? I can't unlove you Fraze: I have tried, like Bea: Have you? Fraze: What was most of our childhood if not that? Bea: This isn't relevant Bea: I need someone there Fraze: You asked, I gave you an answer Fraze: she's got Ali and Tommy, that other one he used to dance with Bea: Because I can ask any of them what she was like and get an honest answer Bea: there's a divide, you said it Fraze: You'll get a brutally honest answer off ma if that's what you want Bea: I want you to do this one thing for me Fraze: is that as nice as you're gonna ask? Bea: I'm not playing games Bea: I'm not in the mood Fraze: Christ's sake Fraze: alright then Bea: Thanks Fraze: whatever, I'll do it for the pleasure of you owing me Bea: you can check my calendar to cash that in Fraze: give me a chance to check my own first, Red Bea: I assume you have a handle on your own schedule Fraze: I ain't never been able to stop your assumptions Bea: You should be grateful I'm giving you that props Fraze: Oh cheers Bea: You're welcome Fraze: yeah, open arms at this party Bea: I doubt she's got a candle for you Bea: you'll avoid that Fraze: Jesus Bea: Yep Fraze: I ain't going to church, fuck that Bea: I think only Ali is doing that anyway Fraze: gutted she still ain't getting sainted for her patience Bea: Pretty sure you have to be dead for years before they get 'round to it Fraze: Trust you to know that, babe Bea: It's common knowledge Bea: Teresa was an exception Fraze: common knowledge to cunts thinking that far ahead Fraze: let me get to grips with my fucking uni schedule Bea: You gave yourself away Fraze: you wish Bea: I'll take my props away now Bea: You've been back nearly a month Fraze: And I've had fuck all to do, it ain't Cambs Bea: All the more time to work out your schedule Fraze: Worry about your own Bea: I am Fraze: You gave yourself away there Bea: Ha Fraze: you're not in the mood, I heard you the first time Bea: Good Bea: I'll leave you to it then Fraze: Alright Bea: [Skippity skip?] Fraze: [makes sense] Bea: [okay, turn up with ya BFF as a hot ass mess to this stale ass party] Fraze: [he'd be shook and fuming in equal measure, imagine his face please] Bea: [aren't we all tbh like join Ro at that table lol] Fraze: You could've said something Bea: I posted on my stories Fraze: Like I said Bea: It wasn't planned Fraze: And it ain't the longest plane ride but you had enough time to tell me you were coming Fraze: it becomes a plan once you've bought a ticket, like Bea: Hardly, it's not like it sells out, or there isn't one an hour later if it does Bea: we turned up, end of Fraze: You know what I mean Fraze: I turned up here for you, the least you could've done was said I didn't have to Bea: I'm late, so I did need you here Fraze: what's his excuse? Bea: ? Fraze: Why do you need him here? Bea: He suggested I come Bea: I still wasn't sure Fraze: hand holding then Fraze: how sweet Bea: Fuck off Bea: She's my sister, I should be here, regardless of how unwelcome I am or want to be Fraze: gladly Fraze: and yeah, no shit, I told you that Bea: It's not an original concept Bea: is this all the people that showed or have people left? Fraze: I'll be the first out the door Bea: Tragic Fraze: What else did you expect? Bea: She was making such a fuss I thought perhaps she'd put a bit more effort in this time Fraze: only setting yourself up with that kind of thinking, babe Bea: More her problem than mine Fraze: Yours if you care Bea: Whatever you're trying to imply with that is stupid either way Fraze: I'm not implying anything, I said it in a dead straightforward manner Bea: Either that I do or don't care Fraze: I know you care, you wouldn't be here if you didn't Bea: If I cared I would have just showed up Fraze: you have Bea: Not before telling her I wouldn't and having an argument so Fraze: Exactly, you didn't have to and you still did Fraze: she ain't gonna appreciate it and it weren't easy for you in any sense Fraze: so you care and you're fucked by it, end of Bea: Nah Fraze: Yeah Bea: I literally just wanted to piss her off but alright Fraze: that's an added bonus Bea: If you like, Fraze Fraze: it ain't about me Fraze: but you can have pissing me off too if you like Bea: Why would you be pissed off at me Fraze: Think it through like you reckon you ain't fuck all else Bea: You were meant to be here regardless Bea: and now you can go Bea: nothing lost Fraze: it's nothing to do with any of that Bea: I'm not in the mood for guessing games either Bea: tell me or don't Fraze: Forget it Bea: Alright Bea: enjoy the rest of your evening then Fraze: I'll take my odds of that over yours Bea: I'll survive Fraze: I know Fraze: my offer still stands though Bea: I'm just here to see Ro Fraze: You're leaving tomorrow then? Bea: tonight by the looks of this Fraze: Yeah Fraze: I doubt it'll be a late one Bea: Surprised she's still here honestly Fraze: I'm surprised any of this went ahead in the first place Bea: Sure she's been planning it since her last Fraze: don't mean she wouldn't cry off it on the night Bea: You can go tell her you're proud of her if you want Fraze: fuck off Bea: 😏 Fraze: [IRL 😏 at her] Bea: [LOOK back] Fraze: [always gotta return a LOOK] Bea: [but go get a drink with Bronson, obviously] Fraze: [go get your own because you're fuming at that and also I need a reason for you not to leave thank you] Bea: [you can force Tommy to dance with you and dance with Bronson] Fraze: [just like 👀😒 downing this drink haha] Fraze: [we both know he's eventually cutting in though there's only so much looking on either of them can take] Bea: [saying something about not dancing with Fearghal and Rocky yet like wait ya turn but 😏 again] Fraze: [we're having this moment ™ because this party is too dry to deal with] Bea: [you wanna see some romance hen] Fraze: [giving Laoise's brother ideas and the confidence to 💋 with their energy LOL] Bea: [I snorted, oh lord] Fraze: [like we said before, going from that long summer to nothing when they're back at uni would be a killer so the vibe is strong] Bea: [excuse us everyone that'll be awkward to see for you] Fraze: [I hope y'all are busy having your own fun and in Ro's case getting smooched so] Bea: [y'all be trying anyway, God bless] Fraze: [mcvickers having their own dance because they don't wanna be here either, awww] Bea: [das cute] Fraze: [we should've given Laoise a little sister for Rocky to have a childhood romance with, that would've been so cute cos the fams hate each other] Fraze: [maybe there can be a girl at the caravan park cos always there with his bff Carly] Bea: [I like that idea, v cute] Fraze: [look at me getting derailed as per] Bea: [my bubba] Fraze: [go get another drink and calm down a shade please boy] Bea: [you could get away with this extraness if it wasn't such a dry party alas hensss, I should probaby think about what present you're throwing at Ro] Fraze: Do you want me to tell you I'm proud of you then or what? Bea: For what? Fraze: Doing the dance rounds, how well you wrapped that gift, take your pick Bea: I don't think that'll make me feel any better, but you go ahead if it will you Fraze: Nah, not really Bea: Don't bother then Fraze: consider it not done Bea: Then we're all happy Fraze: No need to take the bullshit that far Bea: That's what her happy face looks like Fraze: Christ Bea: Told you it was tragic Fraze: I didn't dispute it Bea: Do you know the neighbour kids name? Fraze: Is that a trick question? Bea: Um, no Bea: I want to look him up Fraze: 'Course I fucking don't Bea: 🙄 you're so helpful Bea: bet you know the sister's name Fraze: don't be placing bets about me and girls my sister's age Bea: Lighten up it's not like she's a kid Fraze: She was Ali's friend when she was a kid, hardly a turn on seeing her trying to catch frogs or cast spells Fraze: but cheers for your permission Bea: Unlike our sisters, respectively, I'm sure she's grown up some since then Fraze: Like I said, don't bet on it Bea: Whatever, I don't wanna fuck her Fraze: Me either Bea: Cool Fraze: [go and do your theft of the church wine boy because this party is still not it] Bea: [go find him but under the guise/that's not a total lie doe of needing a fucking break] Fraze: [have another moment in that confined space] Bea: [drink that nasty wine, not even asking just taking it] Fraze: [letting it happen cos she needs it more than you tbh] Bea: [swigging way too much of the blood of christ before passing it back with a shrug like whoops, so soz] Fraze: [giving her a look like steady on like this wasn't your idea] Bea: ['you act like you come up with every plan' ref-ing to doing this as kids, obvs] Fraze: ['I do' that's a barefaced lie sir] Bea: [scoffs like oh please] Fraze: [scoffs himself to show what he thinks of her ideas in reference to this messy uni era that he's acting like she's solely responsible for] Bea: [takes the bottle back like if you're gonna be like that] Fraze: [takes it off her so he can actually get some] Bea: ['you did not have all the good ideas'] Fraze: ['Alright, you can credit him one for bringing you'] Bea: ['I thought you reckoned that was your idea too'] Fraze: ['Point is, it weren't yours'] Bea: [🙄 'I'm fine with being here not being my idea, tah'] Fraze: ['Unlike me being here' like there you go another bad idea] Bea: ['doesn't bother me' like unlucky] Fraze: ['You came to find me, not the other way round, babe'] Bea: ['I came to get away from everyone else, there's a difference'] Fraze: [looks around like there's loads of places to do that which is true cos there's literally no-one at this party] Bea: ['if you want me to go, say it'] Fraze: ['If I did, I would'] Bea: [a look like shut up then] Fraze: [shakes his head in an affectionate way like fuck knows why I want you around] Bea: [just like likewise with her everything] Fraze: [offers her a 🚬 like they're not indoors in the tiny priest cupboard] Bea: ['a way to get more guests' like when the firemen show Fraze: [a fearghal style big lol 'see, I'm full of good ideas'] Bea: [can't help but smile even if we're like mhmm] Fraze: [smiling because we made her smile, it's a lil moment] Bea: ['why haven't you left?' but soft not like accusatory or like get out] Fraze: [looking at her like you know why and we're stealing her words ''if you want me to go, say it' in a tone which obvs makes it clear that's not what we want] Bea: [says nothing to say it all] Fraze: [turn that look into a LOOK boy] Bea: ['why are you mad at me?' whilst casually getting on his lap to make sure he can't be] Fraze: ['why did you have to bring him here?' but everyone knows he's not that mad anymore because she's literally in here with you sir, priorities] Bea: ['see what you'd do' like we're joking but not not true either, just tracing all his features with your finger right now like it's been FOREVER since you saw each other] Fraze: [There's a time and a place' like I'm not gonna beat the shit out of him at this fam function even though I want to but also please don't bring him to fam functions ever again thank you] Bea: ['Maybe I didn't feel like being alone'] Fraze: ['You're not' pulling her even closer to him for emphasis] Bea: [a NOISE like 'scuse me 'not now'] Fraze: ['you're not alone ever' could sound creepy but we mean it in a loving and supportive way] Bea: [a look like we both know that's not true] Fraze: [a look like we both know it's always gonna be me and you, no matter what] Bea: [shakes head like that's not what I mean/the point] Fraze: [softly cups her face so they have all the eye contact like I mean it but you can still tell me what you mean] Bea: ['if we weren't ever alone, none of this would be happening'] Fraze: ['I don't regret that this is' like we're joking about being in this priest cupboard having a throwback moment but we're also saying that we're glad she's here and glad of any time we have rn so] Bea: [shaking our head and breaking eye contact as we get off him] Fraze: ['Shit's always gonna happen, we can't stop it' you can't save anyone vibes 'I only know one way that comes close, like'] Bea: ['what's that then?' but we're already not listening properly and getting up to go] Fraze: [a KISS to stop her in her tracks because it's that, like they are stopping time for a sec] Bea: [have your moment lads enjoy it been a long time coming] Fraze: [literally would feel like it's been forever anyway and even moreso because they are both having a shit time rn] Bea: [you can't get carried away, I vote the fun people at this party start playing hide and seek so you gotta break it up hens] Fraze: [I love that because I would suggest murder in the dark cos spooky girl energy but Ro's scared of the dark so we can't until she has left] Bea: [lol it's so against your everything to be scared of the dark that amuses me] Fraze: [she would play hide and seek though if only to get away from her bf] Bea: [so lowkey everyone will be playing therefore you must play lol] Fraze: [literally because Rocky, Ali and Carly have probably made mcvickers play by ganging up on them haha] Bea: [the entire guestlist hen, everyone else would be down, soz baze looooooooooooooooooollllllllllll] Fraze: [he's so just staying in this priest cupboard and we all know it] Bea: [such an obvious place boy you'll be seeking so soon, you better go find Bronson hun] Fraze: [likewise will just go for a 🚬 when he's supposed to be finding people because we're playing under duress] Bea: [we know you don't need to keep this close a watch on him like he'll be down but you know, moment gone here] Fraze: [good luck acting like you're not fuming that she went straight to him even though staying with you wasn't really an option] Bea: [this should be made into/they should play a different team game and be on opposite teams 'cos so competitive] Fraze: [always a mood so I 100% agree] Bea: [like idk what but take it way too seriously when no one else is lol] Fraze: [literally does not matter because like you said nobody else cares and you two are just on your bullshit, who should we say wins?] Bea: [i think firstly it's who gets Ro] Fraze: [he should because we don't need a beeline brawl] Bea: [you can have Rocky then Bea as they are equally as big a handicap so that's fair] Fraze: [lbr nobody is as big a handicap as Ro but he can have Ali who's great at everything to balance that out] Bea: [then she should have Tommy and Carly and he should have Bronson and Kayne] Bea: [Meena go where you like lol] Fraze: [he will be THRILLED to have Bronson on his team lol] Bea: [ha I know, like did that so you have some decent peeps but also for the awks] Fraze: [please don't brawl lads we can't be having that] Bea: [focus on winning, Fraze probably should] Fraze: [yeah otherwise he'll sulk haha] Bea: [and he already is so that would be rude] Fraze: [true enough] Bea: congrats Fraze: Say it like you mean it Bea: I don't so you know Bea: forced sportsmanship is all you're getting Fraze: come on, babe Bea: shut up Fraze: Don't be a sore loser Bea: you're so annoying Fraze: Nah, that was the team I had Bea: like mine was any better Fraze: Like you wouldn't rather have your sister, who you reckon you're just here to see, and your boyfriend Bea: I've seen her Bea: if you're hoping for a reunion beyond that, I'd stop Fraze: If you reckon that's even crossed my mind, you're losing your touch at more than kid's party games Bea: I'm saying I reckon that was a poor attempt at a dig, is all Fraze: you started it, like Bea: did I fuck Fraze: what else do you call that piss poor attempt at a congrats? Bea: sportsmanship Bea: I told you Fraze: Bullshit Bea: 🙄 fine, don't accept it Fraze: I don't Bea: so don't Fraze: Alright Bea: [drinking moodily like 😒] Fraze: [go for a smoke and calm down boy] Bea: [thank the lord this shit show is winding down, reminds me] Bea: Did Ro and Ali just walk past you? Fraze: Yeah, she said she's taking her home Bea: Wow Bea: I thought they were getting air, or some other stupid thing for another stupid ritual Bea: is she for real Fraze: Are you really that surprised? Bea: Pissed off and surprised aren't the same thing Bea: she actually got me to fly out Bea: for this Fraze: Do you want me to go after 'em? They only just went past Bea: No Bea: it's her party to ditch Fraze: at least you can too now though Bea: yeah, I really fancy the airport right now Bea: never mind getting back to Cambs just in time for rush hour Bea: fuck this Fraze: Then don't go to the airport Bea: This has been a massive waste of time Fraze: Cheers Bea: Come on Bea: you didn't want to come either Fraze: when I thought you weren't Bea: no, and before Fraze: Come on Bea: find you when I was done, if I recall Fraze: whatever, that's not the same as you shitting over all my attempts to make this bearable for you Bea: because you tried really hard to do that Fraze: obviously not hard enough, yeah? Bea: You said it, not me Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: forget it Bea: Done Fraze: Grand Bea: ['cos what you really need is to go out and get messier, lol, so rude not even gonna help everyone else clean up this shitshow] Fraze: [we all know he ain't staying to help either soz lads] Bea: [lol @ everyone else doing that work] Fraze: [do you wanna skip to later when they are both messier or go straight to the aftermath of this if she's going to the hotel?] Bea: [I vote still go home 'cos wasted enough money coming here it isn't like student funds goes that far Ro, gotta save for xmas too] Fraze: [honestly legit Ro you rude hoe] Bea: [we don't even need to be getting a travelodge honey, the sofa can stay so yes, we can skip] Fraze: [oh the joys, you messy bitches, so tempted to have him bring someone back for the drama] Bea: [that would kick off big time 'cos he's not allowed people at theirs 'cos it's their bed and she'd have to burn it lol, but he could not come back for drama but less than that if you wanna] Fraze: [good idea we don't wanna cause Bea to have a breakdown] Bea: [like I assumed you didn't wanna go that far lmao] Fraze: [I'm not that evil] Bea: you got your keys Fraze: I don't need 'em Bea: you aren't here, I had to go in and get some PJs Fraze: you don't need my permission to go in your own room Bea: I know, but I know you aren't back yet, is my point Fraze: By the time I am ma or da will be up, was my point Bea: alright Bea: I'm locking the backdoor too, as we're in the lounge Fraze: Don't be stupid Fraze: there's an empty bed, there's no point you sleeping on the sofa Bea: I've not slept in worse places Bea: it'd be rude to leave him on his own Fraze: and you wouldn't wanna be rude to him Bea: obviously not Fraze: obviously not Bea: How gone are you? Jesus Bea: well I've told you, so don't come through waking everybody up later Fraze: I've told you I won't Bea: you don't need my permission Fraze: I'm not asking for it Bea: then go do whatever you're doing Fraze: We can't even talk now Fraze: this plan of yours is fucking epic, like Bea: If you wanted to talk right now, you wouldn't be wherever the fuck you are Fraze: Nah, if you wanted to talk I wouldn't be Bea: 'cos that makes any sense Fraze: you couldn't leave fast enough, how else do you want me to take that? Bea: that wasn't about you Fraze: I never said it was, I said you don't want to talk to me Bea: would I have specifically taken a flight to come talk to you, when I'll be back for Christmas in a month? no, probably not Bea: that hardly means I don't want to talk to you Fraze: Do it then Bea: that's how conversation works now Bea: you demand it, I jump at the chance? Fraze: at least I'm making demands Bea: really Bea: how's that working out for you? Fraze: as well as the opposite is for you Bea: I don't want to talk to you, apparently Bea: nothing to not demand Fraze: you reckon you apparently do, there's loads to demand Bea: yeah, 'cos talking in circles with you right now is really thrilling Fraze: Thank Christ you've got him to talk to Bea: he's asleep Fraze: that makes sense if fuck all else does Fraze: 'course you'd leave it til then to say anything to me Bea: because I was going to go to bed and wanted to lock the door Bea: it's not anything more or less than that Fraze: so go to bed Bea: yeah, you aren't telling me what to do Fraze: I'm telling you to do yourself a favour Bea: you say what you like Bea: I don't care Fraze: I don't need your permission for that either Bea: then say something worth hearing or piss off and leave me alone Fraze: I meant what I fucking said, I don't wanna leave you alone Bea: Well good job because I am Bea: and no one has said fuck all to me today about it Bea: not even my sister Fraze: I'm sorry Bea: Yeah Bea: you've got loads to say? bullshit Fraze: There's fuck all I can say about this, we both know that Bea: No, there's fuck all you want to say about it Bea: 'cos no one wants to talk about it, so I don't get to regardless of if I might Fraze: Don't Fraze: you know me better than that Bea: Well why ain't you then? Bea: you're the one banging on about it, as if you've actually tried Fraze: I don't wanna be the cunt backing you into a corner and I know you better than to reckon that'd work Bea: This is working amazing then, alright Fraze: Well I reckoned you'd eventually come to me, more fool me Fraze: shit's changed Bea: Right, 'cos you made it so obvious you were up for talking Bea: saying you weren't coming Bea: it's encouraging, my mistake there Fraze: It should be obvious that you can talk to me about anything Bea: When Bea: you aren't here now either Fraze: whenever Fraze: you know nothing's more important than you Bea: okay Fraze: Say it like you believe me Bea: I can't Fraze: Bea Bea: I'm sorry Fraze: Don't Bea: you said things have changed Fraze: 'Cause they clearly fucking have Bea: They were bound to, I suppose Fraze: you could've warned me if you knew that Bea: What do you think taking a break was Bea: for you to figure out what you wanted Fraze: Don't blame me, I know what I fucking want Bea: Do you? Fraze: nothing's changed for me Bea: you can say that Bea: but this all points to the opposite, doesn't it Fraze: Bullshit Bea: You aren't here, we can't even talk Bea: nothing's the same now Fraze: What did you expect me to do? You pissed off with him, there weren't no invite going spare Bea: because you're an arsehole to him, I drag him here for the shittest party ever and then make you two have an even worse night out? what would be the point of that? Fraze: I'm not gonna cosy up to him, you do enough of that for the both of us Bea: I get it, you don't like him, that's why you weren't invited Fraze: You brought him, knowing I don't fucking like him, don't make me the cunt Bea: I'm allowed friends, no matter if you like them or not Fraze: we're both allowed to do whatever the hell we like, I ain't forgotten the rules Bea: as I'm not fucking him, the rules have nothing to do with it Bea: I never told you to not hang out with your mates Fraze: I'm not telling you what to do either, I'm telling you why I ain't there Bea: that's ridiculous Fraze: Fuck you Bea: it is, for Christ's sake Bea: he's asleep on the sofa not fucking me on our bed Fraze: you don't believe me, why should I believe you? Fraze: it's ridiculous that you brought him here in the first place Bea: I'd have time to be messaging you Bea: you're just being stupid now Bea: how is it ridiculous? Fraze: You've already made me look stupid Fraze: did it make you feel any better? Bea: To who, your brother, my sister? Bea: I couldn't be on my own today Bea: I tried and I couldn't, that's all it is Fraze: You don't need him, you've got me Bea: I'm not meant to come to you for everything, I'm meant to give you space Bea: give each other Bea: that's what this whole thing is about Fraze: this whole thing is bullshit Fraze: and even if I reckoned it was a good idea I'm not just gonna pretend your parents didn't die today to go fuck a Trinity student Fraze: there's a time and a place, like I said Bea: Fine Bea: well he's here now, what do you want me to do about it? Bea: I can't send him home Fraze: There's fuck all you can do, other than don't lock me out Bea: I knew you didn't have your keys Fraze: you do still know me then, yeah? Bea: If you hadn't forgot, you'd have lost them Bea: should probably change the locks, honestly Fraze: if you don't keep me out, I'll keep any robbing cunts out Bea: I'm not going to lock you out Bea: you don't need to promise heroics Fraze: I know you can't sleep, I'd be a new level of callous bastard if I gave you anything else to worry about Bea: it'd be a distraction Bea: doubt your parents would appreciate it though Fraze: Well I can easily give you one of them Bea: not that you rate yourself or anything Fraze: it starts with me, yeah, no fucker else is volunteering to sing my praises right now Bea: Poor boy Fraze: Don't rub it in how skint I am as well Bea: well you and me both Bea: be eating plain rice when I get back Bea: at least your ma makes sure you have decent food still Fraze: I'll send you something to put on it Fraze: or something to drown your sorrows with Bea: where do you think all my money goes, like Fraze: you and me both, babe Fraze: these Trinity girls aren't cheap dates, like Bea: My sympathy can only extend so far Fraze: the night off from it is appreciated enough Bea: uhuh Fraze: you don't believe me, I heard you the first time Bea: it was never part of the deal that we had to talk about it Fraze: I know Bea: so I don't want to Fraze: I'm shutting up and coming in Bea: Good Fraze: come and have a drink Bea: [does, of course] Fraze: [giving her the bottle for the mems of Jesus blood and always] Bea: [take a big swig like you need to remotely lol 'thank you' with sincerity at last] Fraze: [shamelessly checking her out in whatever pjs she's wearing obvs, though I vote she's wearing at least one item that belongs to him so he's like 😏 and gently pulls on whatever it is like that's mine without saying so out loud] Bea: [deffo, and has done it without even noticing so it's like oh, raising a brow like you want it back?] Fraze: [yassssss because they are that coupley goodbye but he shakes his head because looks better on her anyway and takes the bottle instead] Bea: [even though it would've been ages since you did that it's just habit, shrugs like 😏 your loss] Fraze: [such a LOOK of course] Bea: ['where'd you go?' like where did you go drink, not WHERE WERE YOU vibes] Fraze: [telling her the name of somewhere studenty with his own shrug, I like to imagine he's like casually getting ready for bed here also as a habit because it doesn't feel awkward to just get topless or whatever] Bea: [casual face of disdain but 'makes sense'] Fraze: ['nothing happened' because even though she said she didn't wanna talk about it and neither do you, you want her to know that and you're drunk enough to just say it] Bea: ['doesn't matter if it did' blatant lie but okay] Fraze: [a look because we know it's a blatant lie but we're coming to put our arms around her cos it's been such a shit day] Bea: [big sighs] Fraze: [just having a snuggle and it will forever fuck me up cos he's so tol and she's so smol] Bea: [OG tol and smol, we mumbling into his chest like scuse you what you saying] Fraze: [she's like me and Clove, failing to thrive honey, so if you think he's not cradling her like a little Clovey you'd be incorrect] Bea: [just have this moment of softness, gotta allow it] Fraze: [very deserved and needed] Bea: ['this is such bullshit' like true but specifics where] Fraze: ['I know' because you don't need specifics cos everything is for you too like you literally thought she was slipping away from you same as Joe did and you've realised you hate uni it wasn't just 1st year being crap] Bea: [that must happen so much 'cos allegedly everyone hates 1st year but then it just carries on like oh] Fraze: [it really does happen a lot hence he's like well shit it's not that and I don't actually wanna be doing this] Bea: ['there's fuck all to do, is there?'] Fraze: [repositioning however necessary for eye contact because there's always something they can do, that's like their entire mantra and we don't need to express that with words] Bea: [gestures like ugh I know that but seriously, right now, this has been hard since this time last year] Fraze: ['if you wanna throw all these bullshit rules out, tell me' like ldr exists babe we don't have to get randoms involved] Bea: [shakes his head 'it's about what's right and needs to be done'] Fraze: [kisses her like you can't tell me this isn't right gal] Bea: her* scuse me Bea: [going in on that kiss, not just so we don't have to sort this out but you know lollollol] Fraze: [likewise allowing it and not only from the standpoint that we need them to be messy and struggling for a while yet but also because he would] Bea: [deal with some of this tension hens] Fraze: [it's the first real chance you've had so I'm not gonna stop you] Bea: [it'd be silly to say it wouldn't happen so we cannot sorry] Fraze: [exactly] Bea: [okay, so obviously we're falling asleep together and equally as obviously you still have to be back asap for school etc so you're probably leaving early AM, not just for the drama of it lol] Fraze: [makes sense but I vote he brings you breakfast in bed before Bronson wakes up because 1. cute 2. you don't have to deal with Ro who's always up ridiculously early lurking and he remembered what you said about eating rice when you get back] Bea: [you've probably not had breakfast in a thousand years so that's a novelty] Fraze: [like it probably wouldn't be good cos he'd accidentally burn the toast or whatever thanks to how messy they were last night but the romantic gesture has been attempted] Bea: [tis the thought that counts henny] Fraze: [my thoughts exactly, just trying to look after her but keep it casual so she's not 😒] Bea: [we can't get too mad over some toast, even if we'd probably try not to eat it at first like g2g] Fraze: [gal you know he can keep you in that bed, don't test him] Bea: [or do, depending how much time you've left yourselves lol] Fraze: [mhmmm] Bea: [either way, you're leaving and you're gonna be folorn] Fraze: [literally would take all his willpower to not just come with you cos uni sucks but as you've not talking about it yet and can't really have the convo now that ain't happening hun] Bea: [soz babe, not at that realisation for a while yet but you did a good job sowing seeds] Fraze: [didn't wanna go too heavy handed with it because not gonna trump dead parents but like it is happening so] Bea: [you wanna end this here or do a bit of aftermath] Fraze: [I think we've covered a lot so tbh unless there's anything we want to specifically address in the aftermath it's probably good]

[punkscowardschampions]

Cosmo & Amber

Amber: [okay so the clerb was a whole mood ™ before his ⚽ mates make it awkward and she goes off with some other lad, but we wanna say anything happened between them before then or is it just a VIBE] Cosmo: [I say a VIBE] Amber: [if you wanted you could do your own #necklaceapology here unless you wanna say that already happened] Cosmo: [probably not now 'cos of the leaving with someone else element of it all, even though he deffo changed and blanked her basically, 'cos you know] Amber: [ah the joys] Cosmo: [fun times all 'round] Cosmo: get home safe? Amber: I will when he takes me home Amber: how are you feeling? Cosmo: fantastic Amber: 9 lives Cosmo: no need to compare numbers Amber: did you have a game today? Cosmo: friendly Amber: and was it? Cosmo: you wanna know if I got carded? Amber: and if you scored or helped someone else to Amber: I want to know everything that happened Cosmo: We lost Amber: and you don't want to talk about it or we can? Cosmo: we've had enough of an ear-bashing off the management but if you reckon you've got any suggestions feel free Amber: why do you think I'd be coming from a place of 😠? Cosmo: losing = bad Amber: not if it means you win next time Amber: everything's a learning experience when your dad's a teacher Cosmo: I was just off my game Cosmo: it's not going to happen again Amber: I do remember saying that maybe Saturday wasn't the best night to take my clubbing 🍒 Cosmo: you wanted to go, you got what you wanted Amber: do you want to talk about it? Cosmo: about what, exactly Amber: that dig which implies you didn't get what you wanted Cosmo: There's no dig, I lost, that's not what I wanted Cosmo: I don't need you coming in after the fact with an 'I told you so' Cosmo: you saw the rest of my team out, it's a weekly occurrence Amber: then don't put the blame onto me Cosmo: where'd I say that Amber: I wanted to go, it's my fault Cosmo: You didn't force me to take you Cosmo: you couldn't Amber: I know, so I don't appreciate the tone Cosmo: I'm so sorry Amber: I'm sorry you lost Cosmo: sure you are Amber: it's genuine, unlike yours Cosmo: I'm not apologising to you, what the fuck have I done but take you out Cosmo: and you clearly had a good time Amber: you could apologise for how you acted last night or how you are now Amber: but I won't wait for either Cosmo: I weren't acting Amber: not before your friends got there Amber: only after Cosmo: other way 'round Cosmo: that's who I am Amber: why did you invite me out if you don't want to be seen with me? Cosmo: it's not that Cosmo: I knew they weren't your people, you wouldn't have enjoyed hanging with them Amber: you don't get to make those kind of decisions for me Cosmo: I wasn't going to let them be dicks to you Amber: neither would I Amber: I can defend my own honour, thanks Cosmo: Well if I can, then I'm going to, simple as Cosmo: it didn't need to be a thing Amber: no, if you can keep me separate from them, you're going to Amber: that's what you mean Cosmo: I told you, you're not my type of person, I'm not yours Cosmo: that includes my friends Amber: you spelled out to me in great detail how I don't fit into your life the way it is, so why did you invite me out?! Amber: you made it into a thing Cosmo: you wanted to Amber: I wanted to, the way you said it would be, not THAT Cosmo: they usually go [different club] Amber: we could've left, I'd have gone to a different club with you Cosmo: wasn't my plan either Cosmo: you would? Amber: of course, I would've, I meant everything I said about not adding to the pressure that you're under Amber: but that doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy for you to smuggle me into dark corners like it's such a shameful secret that we're friends Amber: you don't get to treat me however you want because your life is hard Cosmo: I know it's fucked up Cosmo: and yeah, it saves me hassle, not going to deny it, but I don't wanna hear the shit they'd have to say about you, any more than I'd want you to hear it Amber: address it and you wouldn't have to hear it again, about any girl Amber: stop giving them a free pass to say things like that Cosmo: yeah, it's that easy Amber: It's not easy, nor is it easy being a girl getting treated like an object Cosmo: this is my career we're talking about Cosmo: I make their lives hard, they make mine hard for me right back Cosmo: I'd be off the team before I knew it Cosmo: it's not like they're rapists or anything crazy Amber: you've got better excuses than your brother, I'll give you that Cosmo: don't compare us Amber: why not? it's a variation of the same behaviour and I'm tired of it Cosmo: I'm fuck all like my brother Amber: at least you're sorry Cosmo: What's he done to you now? Amber: he hasn't done anything to me and this conversation isn't about him anyway Cosmo: Amber Cosmo: you can tell me Amber: you already know what he's like, I don't need to Cosmo: Sure, he's a little prick Cosmo: but why are you upset with him right now Amber: because there are girls there that are more vulnerable than me and the way you're acting like you need to stand up for me against your friends is what they need and aren't getting Amber: it was brought to my attention and I should've realised before Cosmo: what does that mean though Amber: I need to do something to help, I don't know Cosmo: you mean he's like hurt someone Amber: not physically, don't worry Cosmo: okay, good Cosmo: it sounded like you meant he'd like Cosmo: assaulted someone Amber: I'm sorry, no, it's not that Amber: like your friends, I'm sure he wouldn't Cosmo: don't girls have a whole code Cosmo: put the word out about him being whatever type of dick he's being, then you won't have to feel bad, it'll be on him and them Amber: I have Cosmo: there you go then Cosmo: they'll have the info to make their own decisions now Cosmo: opposed to whatever bullshit he might come out with Amber: I don't want to talk about Dash Cosmo: okay Amber: was your dad at your game? Cosmo: no, he was doing something with his girlfriend's family Cosmo: so I'll have to tell him now, that we lost Amber: how upset is he going to be? Cosmo: when he realizes why Cosmo: quite a bit Amber: you could lie, I won't sneak in through his window and tell him Cosmo: he'll see Cosmo: or talk to the managers Cosmo: I can maybe think of something that makes it sound better but he isn't big on excuses so Amber: they don't know why, do they? unless they were also at the club which is a bit hypocritical and strange Amber: but I was asking to see if you wanna do a meditation or something with me before you tell him Amber: this boy doesn't have a yoga mat, I could improvise though Cosmo: One of the lads practically sprayed the pitch Cosmo: weren't me but it's a sort of if one of us is in shit then we all are Cosmo: but no one else's dad will make 'em do extra training on top of the extra training Cosmo: it's fine, just not ideal Cosmo: I think you should leave, though Amber: why do you think I should leave? Cosmo: you don't even know who he is Amber: he's making brunch and I have manners Cosmo: if you had manners you wouldn't be using me for entertainment whilst you wait Amber: I'm not Amber: I'm making sure you're okay because I haven't seen or heard from you since last night happened the way it did Cosmo: You don't need to check up on me Cosmo: go enjoy your brunch Amber: you didn't need to either but you started this conversation to do exactly that Cosmo: I had no idea you were having brunch Amber: relax, 9, it isn't candlelit Amber: he's on his phone too Amber: just because I sleep outside doesn't mean I was born in a barn Cosmo: Does he know how old you are Amber: yes, I don't seduce men via deception Cosmo: how old is this man then Amber: 18, he's a boy really Cosmo: 🙄 Amber: what? Cosmo: bit weird on his part Amber: where did you meet all your stalkers and girlfriends? Cosmo: I've not gone out with an 18 year old Amber: you're behaving like I said 28 Amber: if I'd met him at school, it wouldn't even be an issue Cosmo: it'd still be weird Cosmo: you're a kid Amber: ⭐ Cosmo: Whatever Amber: it's not, stop trying to make me feel bad about this Cosmo: I'm not, I'm saying he's weird Amber: do you know him? Amber: because after your reluctance to let your friends anywhere near me, I don't think you're in any position to judge Cosmo: he's 18, you told him you were 15 Cosmo: speaks for itself Amber: boy, you're in the wrong career 👮 Amber: I'm fine thanks, officer Cosmo: 'cos sound lads can never get girls their own age Cosmo: it isn't my fault if you feel bad Amber: yes it is because last night is a weekly occurrence for you and it you know it wasn't for me Amber: so you don't get to tell me how I can or can't decide to make the best of something Cosmo: Then you should listen to me and go home Cosmo: for fuck's sake Amber: I can't walk home from here in this outfit, it's too far Amber: you think he's weird that'd be nothing on what I'd get from actual grown men if I do Cosmo: you can't make him give you money for a cab? Amber: I don't want to ask, because if he says no then you're right, and I don't want you to be right Cosmo: I'll ping you some now alright Cosmo: then we don't have to find out Amber: don't, I haven't got any way to pay you back Amber: you've spelled out your feelings about 🍏🍊🐓 Cosmo: would you rather chance it and get a lift back from someone you don't even want to ask about the taxi Cosmo: how else are you going to do it, don't be stupid Amber: 😠 okay Amber: but I'm staying angry at you Cosmo: do what you like, I don't care about the money or paying you to be nice Amber: what do you care about? I'll do something that'll benefit that Cosmo: just get home unmurdered, yeah Cosmo: that works for me Amber: are you home? I could make you brunch Cosmo: you just want two brunches Amber: yes, but I also want you to have one Cosmo: What are you going to make? Amber: after extensive research, a lot of footballers are vegan, are you? Cosmo: for the most part Cosmo: I eat fish sometimes Amber: oily fish is good for ⚽ that was part of the research and 🍣📸 is apparently part of the lifestyle Amber: but avocado toast with blueberry, banana and chia seed pancakes won't get me voted out of the commune Cosmo: alright nerd Cosmo: is he a footballer or what? Amber: no, he goes to some catholic school, I don't know it Cosmo: definite weirdo then Cosmo: nah, thanks though Cosmo: sounds good Amber: his parents house is pretty close to yours so don't ruin your appetite with snacks Cosmo: I don't eat snacks Cosmo: not even to piss you off Amber: never?! Amber: What about 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 ? Amber: or 🥜? Cosmo: if I was dying but nah Cosmo: little and often Amber: I'm relieved you're not dying Amber: it sounds like you and your friends partied harder than I did after we separated Cosmo: They did anyway Amber: you didn't? Cosmo: I never get as fucked up as them Amber: because you don't want to or because you're 💪🏽? Cosmo: I don't wanna be the one making us lose Cosmo: or losing my spot on the team Amber: it stops being fun Amber: if I make a decision I'd like to know that it wasn't my blood alcohol level that really did Cosmo: yeah Cosmo: think a lot of people do the opposite for the excuse Amber: not to side with your dad before I've even met him but I don't love excuses either Cosmo: it's a good rule, if a little tough Amber: I did think you were saying that was why you weren't as focused though Cosmo: can be, if you like Amber: but what's the answer? Cosmo: nosy Amber: secretive Cosmo: it doesn't matter does it Amber: it must matter to you if it's why you lost Amber: but it doesn't matter if you don't want to tell me, I'm still making brunch Amber: [show up and knock 9 times again gal] Cosmo: [shooketh lowkey like didn't think you were that close, also so many knocks, saying Indie is home so being over your shoulder like it's fine I know who it is as you open the door] Amber: [we know the vibe she's making herself at home immediately because she's that bitch, saying hi to his mum and asking her if she wants brunch too or just tea or coffee all the while in last night's extra af club lewk because awkwardness doesn't exist for her and we're getting in that kitchen and putting on music and dancing and cooking like we live here] Cosmo: [just introducing her because we're freaking out but then you're like, idk what to even say so you're calling her 'Dash's friend' which frankly makes this stranger though I guess explainable lol, lowkey not even looking at her because we cannot for all the reasons] Amber: [that hurt her heart because boy I'm literally making you brunch, we're friends, but we're not correcting that sentence, we're just chatting to his mum and doing all the things like he's lowkey not there] Cosmo: [oh boy, so lowkey rude truly on accident because you don't want the conversation I highly doubt your mum would start rn like OOOOOOOOH lol, gonna make your dad call you like he's found out so go outside and promise all the shit you're gonna do to stay on top] Amber: [Indie would never do you like that boy but we know where you're coming from and Amber isn't coming for your life rn either even if she doesn't understand because she literally tells her parents everything] Cosmo: [come in in a bit visibly more stressed even though you already were/always are, poor boy[ Amber: [at least the food would probably be ready by then because none of the things she was making would take that long and I assume his dad was going off for a while so she can just put the food in front of him] Cosmo: [look like ? as if you literally didn't compute she was really doing it until it's fully in front of you like oh 'thank you' also piss off now Indie/Billie sorry bye] Amber: [take your coffee and go gal before he has a breakdown please, the bae who isn't the bae needs to smile at him in a really genuine and adorable way because he remembered his manners] Cosmo: [smiling back but we're just distracted by all things so it's not as real as it can be though we trying 'what did you have for your first brunch?'] Amber: ['oatmeal' not said in a shady way but it's just reinforcing that the boy wasn't bringing his A game here] Cosmo: [just raising a brow and trying not to smile too smugly 'glad you put more effort in'] Amber: [😠 lowkey because he doesn't get to be smug like at least that boy made something he hasn't even made her a drink like excuse you 'I'm glad you like it'] Cosmo: [nudging her under the table with his foot like what] Amber: [a look like you know what] Cosmo: ['you want more oatmeal?' doing a bad mimic of her voice] Amber: [hitting him on the arm like stop, even if she has to lean across the table to do it] Cosmo: ['what?' well done for saying it] Amber: ['I like oatmeal more than you right now' because we're cross] Cosmo: ['hey' and reaching across the table to do the squeeze-of-the-hand-apology and then gesturing at her plate like let's just eat] Amber: [when he literally hasn't touched her before this so we're dying but eating like it's chill] Cosmo: ['this is a better way to do the footballer diet than I have been' for a compliment moment 'cos like everything we're being overly regimented duh] Amber: [leaves the pancake recipe in the chat for him because quick and easy tbh] Cosmo: 👍 Cosmo: [then doing it IRL like a nerd] Amber: 🤓 Amber: [but we're amused] Cosmo: that's you Cosmo: I'm evil, I remember Cosmo: [jokey 😒 'cos wants to be a Gryffindor 'good guy'] Amber: no, you're brave but not stupid Amber: [goes on a little slytherin pride style rant like this is how great you are] Cosmo: [just like 'say how you really feel about me' like it's all bants but listening to all her nerding out] Amber: ['I feel like you'd be a good friend to have' because we haven't forgotten what he said earlier] Cosmo: [penny dropping moment 'cos boys are that oblivious facts lol, shrugging like come on but clearly awkward 'what should I have said? after last night-' like are you even my friend now] Amber: ['You said what you were comfortable with' again not said in a shady way, just like yet again I'm not trying to make your life hard boy 'but after last night, if I were you, I'd want to pacify me'] Cosmo: ['how would you suggest I do that?' saucy saucy] Amber: ['I would suggest it comes from you, to be like, actually sincere'] Cosmo: [🤔 then being like hold up and go get that necklace honeyyy] Amber: [we're immediately putting that on even though it doesn't go with this outfit] Cosmo: [nodding our approval 'cos not risking saying anything rn] Amber: ['it's not a good luck charm, right?' like I'm not getting blamed if you lose again] Cosmo: [shakes his head 'if you start doing that kind of thing, can get a bit OCD, like'] Amber: [playing with this necklace casually 'maybe it will be for me' cos we're happy now that he's being nice] Cosmo: ['what do you need luck for?' actual question not being rude lol] Amber: ['next time you take me clubbing' we got bants] Cosmo: [just like alright, alright 'it was me who ended up having a shit night anyway'] Amber: [doing the hand squeeze apology back to him] Cosmo: [pulling away, not too dramatically 'cos not an ew moment, but clearly not her fault so like nah girl] Amber: [getting up to wash up because even though they've 100% got a dishwasher she wouldn't have ever lived anywhere that does cos hippie life so it wouldn't occur to her honestly] Cosmo: [finding a tea towel like I'll dry] Amber: [how coupley of you, love that, just grooving while we do this because of course] Cosmo: [gonna lowkey check you out 'you didn't do enough dancing...we'll have to go again, actually'] Amber: [just giving a horrified look like they're no such thing as enough dancing thank you but then loling 'we could do a friday night instead, if that works better for you'] Cosmo: ['alright' then pausing 'probably not for a while' 'cos we have all this extra training to do and people to appease so we gon' be busy] Amber: ['okay' genuine because she will wait and that's the tea, then I'm gonna take the bathtub moment from the OG convo we did because #mood and it actually works better now cos she does need to bathe lol so I'm saying she goes upstairs, making herself at home again obvs and calls 'bring me tea' over her shoulder as she goes like the queen she is] Cosmo: [it does work better and is needed so go ahead, though he is truly confused where she is going and why but like okay, pop off at this point] Amber: [excuse us Indie because you're assumedly still here lol] Cosmo: how do you take your tea Cosmo: we don't have green Amber: I don't like green tea, don't worry Amber: but I still take black tea that way, no milk Amber: what colour is your sugar? Cosmo: I think we might have some 🤎 in the baking shit if it's a dealbreaker Amber: if there is, I'll have some but it's not Amber: we run out of everything at home Cosmo: I'll be amazed if we have any left but 🤞🙏 Amber: at least you have hot water Cosmo: that's what you're doing Amber: 🛀🏽🧜🏽 Cosmo: don't get in yet Amber: why? Cosmo: your tea will get cold Amber: you're supposed to bring it to me, boy Cosmo: how am I meant to Cosmo: leave it at the door? Cosmo: close my eyes? Amber: I won't be able to reach it if you leave it there, and you don't need to be embarrassed Cosmo: I'm not embarrassed Amber: fine, neither of us will get accidentally scolded by hot tea that you're carrying around with your eyes closed then Cosmo: not clumsy, for one, do more research nerd Amber: oh, are you carrying it with your feet? I didn't realise, sorry Cosmo: you reckon all my skill is in my feet only? Amber: and your head, if footballers are still allowed to do that? Amber: but you're not a goalkeeper Cosmo: yeah, headers are valid Cosmo: rest assured, I can still get a full mug to you Amber: they are banned for children because the risk of brain damage is valid too, according to my research Amber: chronic traumatic encephalopathy Cosmo: big words Cosmo: all I know is rugby is rougher Cosmo: or I could be a boxer, so Amber: it also happens to boxers, I don't know about rugby players Cosmo: anything where you're getting bashed about the head too much Cosmo: most only do it when necessary but it's some people's 'thing' to assist or score rather than lose it in the scrabble of feet Amber: that makes sense, but we've digressed here away from the debate of how good you are, or aren't, with your hands Cosmo: what you mean is, we've digressed away from you getting your tea in a prompt manner Cosmo: diva Amber: yes and yes Cosmo: 😏 Cosmo: it's brewing Amber: thanks Cosmo: you can take back what you said about my lack of skills later, like Amber: if you have foraging skills for sugar, maybe I will Cosmo: see if you taste the difference Amber: now you're doubting my skills? I guess I deserve that Cosmo: your taste? Cosmo: happened last night tbh Amber: 😠 Cosmo: come on Cosmo: I could've said when we met Cosmo: I was being well nice Amber: if you'd said it when we met I'd have agreed with you Cosmo: I suppose anything's a step up Amber: the sex absolutely was Cosmo: thrilled for you Amber: there's still plenty left for you to make fun of him, and me, about Cosmo: I'd rather not Amber: I'd rather you didn't either but it hasn't stopped you so far Cosmo: just stop talking then Amber: talking to me like that isn't going to provoke me into giving you the silent treatment Cosmo: [just bring this tea up moodily] Amber: [taking it and saying thanks again as if you're just at the kitchen table or whatever instead of naked and chilling in this bath lol] Cosmo: [we are not looking and just shrugging like whatever idc] Amber: [splashing him obvs like stop being rude] Cosmo: [when you can't even be mad like your ma uses this bathroom 'cos clearly not so you're just scowling but not 👀 her] Amber: [just smelling everything that's on the side of this bath because you don't want to use anything that's Dash's] Cosmo: [doing our hair in the mirror as if we need] Amber: ['are you always like this when a girl wants to spend time with you?' do we mean rude or checking yourself out instead of her or both tbh] Cosmo: [big sigh and rubbing our temples 'you wanted a bath'] Amber: ['and you'd also rather I didn't do that?'] Cosmo: ['do you not think this is weird?'] Amber: ['You're making it bizarre now' because genuinely doesn't think it's weird obviously or she wouldn't do it] Cosmo: [scoffs like oh yeah, me] Amber: [splashing him bigger than before] Cosmo: [turning 'round like STOP but then you're just looking at her the most intense] Amber: [obviously looking back like please just say something or do something before we both die lol] Cosmo: [when you shake your head microscopically to say you can't 'cos you wanna so bad obvs] Amber: [when you're not even doing the pout for a pisstake it just happens naturally because likewise, soz for drawing even more attention to those lips like] Cosmo: [the noise you're barely holding back here 'you know we can't'] Amber: ['I know we could' because it would be so easy rn to let this happen and they both know it lbr and I can only imagine how her voice sounds rn, soz again] Cosmo: [shaking your head more vigorously to snap yourself outta it 'cos you must, and throwing a new towel down for her like there you go and making your exit] Amber: [doing such a cinematic and dramatic lay down in the water moment because ffs] Cosmo: [lord knows what you're gonna do with yourself boy] Amber: [she should literally leave right now immediately but we in this bath now so blatantly getting clean first, a lot quicker than she would of but still the idea makes me lol] Cosmo: [lmao, just glad you no doubt have a gym sesh or something now so get that frustration out but lord] Amber: [just gotta awkwardly leave here in that club lewk because we can't ask him for an outfit rn, oh gal] Cosmo: [ah the awks awks awks] Amber: [such fun, this is why I love you two, he cockblocks himself so we don't have to] Cosmo: [truly but also hate it lol] Amber: [we 100% need to give him a WAG girlfriend like remember when Joe had that cringey Blake Lively one back in the day] Cosmo: [oh lord yes] Amber: [I'm trying to think who looks like a WAG so we can give her a face for the lols] Cosmo: [I was thinking a character like Ruby from sex education, she's the only one I can think of rn, but that's a WAG-ish vibe] Amber: [I vibe that and I also have an idea how he could meet her like what if she's to do with the dad's girlfriend like when people are really extra about their goddaughters pretending like they are fam when they're for real not even] Cosmo: [that's a fat mood, just using your godmother to get a mans lowkey lol] Amber: [anyways that's for another convo, you can post this if you like]

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: [details of some party that they can go to because it's not someone he knows its more like a friend of a friend of so they can do what they want] Buster: I'll pick you up when you're ready Rio: Oh, I'm with Nancy rn Rio: think I might be in it for the long haul over here Buster: You've been there ages Rio: I know Rio: been a while, lots she wants to catch up on Rio: I can probably make it though, if I start politely getting ready to leave soon Buster: Where are you? Rio: at mine Rio: we went out shopping for a bit but now we're just chilling Buster: I'll tell her mum or dad are on the warpath, either's believable Buster: She'll be back before she realises they're working Rio: That's not very friendly, is it Buster: She's my sister, not my friend Rio: yeah but won't she wonder why you've tricked her Buster: She'll think I got it wrong, a common enough thought for her to have about me Buster: Who cares? Rio: I don't wanna be mean Buster: Don't then Buster: To me Buster: I haven't seen you all day Rio: Baby Rio: you know I wanna be with you Rio: let me get out of this my way though Buster: Alright Rio: I promise, it won't take that long Buster: You do know that unless you appear right now it's too long, yeah? Rio: Of course Rio: you know I missed you as much Rio: more, I think Buster: So prove it by getting rid of her Rio: I will Rio: it would've looked so suspect if I didn't spend any time with her Buster: Or like you've outgrown her which everyone wanted us to do with each other, therefore they'd have to be thrilled Rio: If everyone weren't massively hypocritical Rio: or her social life was a bit more robust in general Buster: Her lack of a social life is her own problem, not yours, babe Rio: not if I ditch her at the drop of a hat Rio: but I've worked it out Buster: Tell her to ditch her fringe and you'll be doing her such a big favour it'll cancel out the abrupt goodbye Rio: Stop 🤫 Rio: I'd almost forgot how rude you can be 🙄😏 Rio: I'm gonna have a fake argument with Dan that I'll 'need' to go and sort out Buster: It sounds good in theory but she'll probably try and convince you not to 'cause he's a man Rio: She can text me the TLDR of the gay agenda Rio: it'll be fine, less of a 😱 when I dump him later too Buster: Surprised you ain't had a real argument by now Buster: He's even more of a pussy than I thought Rio: He knows I'm busy with family still Buster: And those papers don't deliver themselves Rio: You're SO funny, babe Buster: Yeah, I know Buster: One of many talents Rio: I might rank it lower than some of your others Rio: but I still like ya Buster: Don't force yourself, like Rio: Come on Rio: what have you been doing today anyway? Buster: As the twin with a social life in each of our postcodes, I've been busy fulfilling those obligations Rio: See, you've been keeping busy too Rio: not even missed me Buster: I can do both Buster: Multitasking is one of my aforementioned talents Rio: I can give you that one Buster: [a topless post football playing selfie like see busy and thinking about/missing you hence I took this for you] Buster: I'll give you this then Rio: 😍😍😍 Rio: I wanna come watch you play next time Buster: Yeah? Rio: you need to ask when you look like that? Rio: I could be there, right, at a proper match Buster: 'Course Buster: Probably don't tell the others though, it'd be hard to stop Billie and Edie from wanting to come with you Rio: True Rio: do your parents come? Rio: 'cos I'd rather not control my 😍😍😍 at all Buster: They'd have to not be working for there to be any danger of that Rio: I thought so Rio: I'll cheer you on Rio: bring the 🍊🍊 Buster: My dad watches me box more often, you wouldn't like that anyway Rio: not gonna encroach on your male bonding time, don't worry Buster: Hilarious Rio: I was being serious Buster: Me too, it's hilarious you reckon we have any kind of bond to encroach on Rio: you live together Rio: that's something, like Buster: Only 'cause they won't let me move out yet Rio: Well yeah Rio: you are only 14 Buster: And they were making such good choices when they were Rio: they didn't get to have their own place either Buster: They didn't need one, they were already living in the same house Rio: I doubt that argument will change their mind Buster: Whatever, I'm not trying to leave Ava with just Nance Buster: She'd make her well weird Rio: I don't think you can't make anyone anything Rio: least of all your sister Buster: You know what I mean Buster: And you don't have to jump to the other's defence, I ain't gonna send her this Rio: Whatever Rio: what are you gonna wear tonight then? Buster: Unlike you I haven't been shopping, maybe I'll go now while I'm waiting for you Rio: Just trying to work out the level of effort I need to put in Buster: What level of effort would you like to put in? Rio: I just don't want to look out of place Rio: why is that a problem? Buster: It's not a problem, why are you coming at me with an attitude? Rio: Sorry Rio: I think all this shit that's going on with Nance has got to me Buster: What's she said? Rio: Just all about those kids, what they say and do Rio: it's a shitty situation Buster: Stay with her if you want, I can take some of the lads with me Rio: If you'd rather Buster: I obviously wouldn't Buster: But if it'll make you feel better Rio: I don't know Rio: there's nothing I can do for her Buster: I'd say bring her but she'd never go Rio: I hardly blame her Buster: 'Course not, you never do Rio: Going to a party where she knows no one won't make her feel any better Buster: She doesn't wanna feel better, she'd rather wallow Buster: A party's as good a place as any for that Rio: You invite her then Rio: I'm not a middleman Buster: I don't actually want her there, unbelievable as that may sound, babe Rio: then we're agreed it's a bad idea Buster: I'll take us being in agreement about something as far as my fucking sister is concerned Rio: For God's sake Rio: let's drop this Buster: Don't for God's sake me Rio: This conversation is pointless Buster: That ain't stopped you keeping one going with Nance though Rio: Your sister has spent most of today telling me how hard she's struggling and how hard she gets bullied and you want me to just put that aside like it's nothing Buster: Would you like me to applaud you for having to hear a day's worth of it? Rio: Don't be a dick Buster: Don't tell me what it's like as if I don't go to the same school Rio: Don't make it about you Rio: it's happening to her Buster: Cheers for that, I had no idea Rio: Like I said, pointless Rio: have a good night with your friends Buster: I will Rio: 👍 Great Buster: It's no mansion but I'll make the best of it regardless Rio: Go away now Buster: Who do you think you're talking to? Buster: That hasn't worked on me a single time you've tried it Rio: You're just trying to annoy me now and I don't need it Buster: You wish Buster: She's annoying you and you don't wanna admit that to yourself or her Rio: No, you're being an asshole because you're mad Buster: I'll take all the blame, babe, what do I care? Buster: It's a well established role, I'm the asshole and she's the only one ever who suffers Rio: I haven't said that, no one's said that Buster: Chelsea's always been a picnic for me, like Buster: Not that anyone's ever asked Rio: I know that, why are you saying it like I don't Rio: and I can't do fuck all about that either Buster: 'Cause you're acting like you don't Rio: The ways you cope aren't the ways she does, or doesn't Rio: I just don't see the point of acting like that'll work Buster: Well, I don't see the point of you taking all her bullshit on as your own Buster: Or getting dragged down by it Rio: I can't just Rio: dismiss it that easily Rio: she's still here, like, can you just give me a moment Buster: Take loads of them Buster: I'll see you tomorrow Rio: Thanks so much Buster: You're so welcome Rio: Bye then Buster: Yeah Rio: if that's how you feel then just see me on easter Buster: If that's how you feel, then you might as well bring your boyfriend to celebrate with us all Rio: Fuck you Buster: No, fuck you Rio: I don't get why you're being like this Rio: explain it to me Buster: You don't get to hold Easter over me like an ultimatum when you know it won't be the same then Buster: We only get 7 days and you've already spent this one with her but I can't be upset about it 'cause she's more upset than me Buster: Fuck that Buster: And like I said, fuck you Rio: You're allowed but that ain't what you put out at all Rio: you're mad at her, I get it, but fuck taking that out on me Rio: she's my cousin, I have to see her when she comes over Rio: and nah, it isn't a fun time but you don't need to take my mood so personally Buster: Forget it Buster: You could just see her on Easter, but why would you when that threat works so much better on me Rio: It's not a threat Rio: if you reckon you're gonna have so much more fun with your friends then you may as well Buster: I reckon I'll have to try and have fun with them 'cause that's the only option you've given me Rio: I was actually coming 'til you told me not to Buster: I didn't tell you not to Rio: Yes you did Rio: you said see you tomorrow Buster: Don't put words in my mouth Buster: You already weren't coming by the time I said that Rio: Then why would I have left my house to go have an imaginary argument for you Buster: To have a real one with me, obviously Rio: Yeah, that's exactly how I wanted to spend my evening, you've got it Rio: never mind I can't friggin' go back five minutes later 'cos she's probably still there with Junior Buster: You and me both Buster: So don't go back yet Rio: Well where do you suggest I go Rio: seeing as you've uninvited me from the party 'cos I'm so shit Buster: Come on Rio: I'm not sorry I care about her Rio: and that isn't me saying you don't, or me saying I don't care about you either Rio: I clearly do Buster: I don't want you to be sorry Buster: I love that you care so much, you know that Rio: are you coming to pick me up then or what? Buster: I'm basically halfway to you already Buster: I wasn't gonna turn around, who am I? Buster: Not a cunt who gives up that easy, like Rio: Don't scare me like that Buster: I didn't mean to Buster: I'm sorry Rio: You wanted to make me feel how you did Rio: I get it Rio: I've missed you too today Buster: It just made me think about what it'll be like, I've been trying not to Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Rio: we'll have to work out how often we can Buster: I missed you so much Buster: I can't leave you Rio: but you have to Rio: there's no scenario where we can be together as much as we want Rio: even if we weren't having to hide it Buster: There has to be, there's always choices Buster: If you want something badly enough, you make it happen Buster: That's my life Rio: You can't leave school, I can't go to yours, I wouldn't get in Rio: and I can't just move myself to London with nowhere to live and no plan Buster: Then I'll move back here Buster: With Nan and Granddad Rio: Your parents won't want that Rio: even if they're barely about, they still want you around Buster: I don't give a shit what they want Rio: I know, but it means they've got enough say to stop you, at least for now Rio: in a few years, nah Rio: it's shit, I don't want that to be how it is any more than you do Rio: I wanna be with you always Buster: In a few years you could have a boyfriend that isn't a pussy with a paper round Rio: Do you actually think I'm going to get a new boyfriend? Buster: Not right now, obviously Rio: Not ever, if you still want me Rio: I've only got this one still because I don't want to waste our time together right now dealing with the logistics of formally dumping him Buster: Like you said, we can't be together as much as we want Rio: so that means, what, to you Rio: you need to keep this open Buster: It means you deserve better Rio: there isn't better Rio: you said that Rio: and I believe it Buster: Not than me, but than this bullshit scenario Buster: My mum and dad only got through uni 'cause they had us, everyone knows that Buster: They'd had years together by then Rio: Well, I believe in us Rio: I thought you did too Buster: I do Buster: I just can't fucking breathe when I think about going back Rio: it's the first time Rio: we'll get better at it Rio: we'll have to Buster: Yeah, I'll add it to the list of shit I have to do Buster: It'll be fine Rio: It won't Rio: it'll hurt like hell Rio: but we have to be okay with that Rio: if we want the good of it Buster: Don't Buster: You can't ask me to be okay with hurting you Rio: It hurt more Rio: being without you Rio: we'll have more than we did, no matter Buster: I know Rio: That's what love is, right Rio: no matter what Buster: If it ain't that, I don't know what else it would be Rio: I don't want anyone else Rio: even if it's painful Buster: Okay Buster: Me either, in case that wasn't painfully obvious Rio: You better not Rio: You're mine Rio: I can't share you Buster: I am yours Buster: I told you, nobody is gonna change my mind Buster: I probably should have said no obstacle though, 'cause distance won't either Rio: not even you Rio: you can't change your mind yet Rio: preferably ever but Rio: I won't say you can't there Buster: Especially not me, what the fuck do I know, I reckoned ignoring you for the rest of our lives would work Buster: I won't ever change my mind 'cause I can't Buster: That'd be a mistake and those aren't allowed Rio: I love you Rio: and I'll get better at listening Buster: I love you too, but I can't promise that I'll get better at staying calm Buster: You know my history Rio: I know you Rio: and I love you as you Rio: we'll make this work Rio: what else can we do, right Buster: She gets to me too, you know Buster: Or all of that bullshit at school does Rio: Of course it does Rio: no one wants to hear that about their family Rio: and not be able to stop it Rio: I know you care Buster: She doesn't understand Rio: She sees it like you're picking their side Rio: instead of trying to keep some of them vaguely on it in any way Buster: I'm not gonna take on the whole school for her Buster: It shouldn't have got that far Buster: She lets shit escalate and then expects me to fix it Rio: She's a good victim Rio: she rises it to it, you know Rio: if she could just laugh it off or let it go, it wouldn't be happening Buster: I don't know how the fuck she could have been raised the same way as me, with the parents we have, and become that Buster: Everything my mum went through, it's offensive Rio: She doesn't mean to be the way she is Rio: she needs to get to a place where she can help herself, or ask for help Buster: She doesn't try hard enough not to stand in her own way Buster: So she might as well mean it Rio: It's frustrating, I know Buster: Frustrating ain't the word Buster: But whatever Rio: You can't change her Rio: unfortunate or otherwise Rio: just how it is, babe Buster: At least she ain't Ro levels yet Rio: Is anyone Rio: now that's offensive Buster: Fair point Rio: swear she lowkey hates me Buster: She don't like anyone Rio: yeah but she liked my ma and me being born stole her attention Rio: gutted ever since, I'm so sorry Buster: Come on, be real, she liked your mum until Edie was born Rio: Too true Rio: 'course that had NOTHING to do with Drew 🙄 Buster: Maybe she only wants mixed race babies Buster: I'll ask her if she comes to Easter Rio: 😂 Rio: please do Rio: how did you stand to live with her for all those years Buster: They are cuter, like Buster: And I didn't have a choice Rio: You'll want to get with a darker girl than me then Rio: it's amazing your da didn't murder-suicide Buster: No, I won't Buster: Look no further for where I get my coping strategies from, bottle in hand literally as I type this Rio: That's just cultural, like Rio: and when your brother does what Joe did, who's checking Buster: Yeah Buster: At least you're not actually my sister Rio: again, don't think that's calming anyone Buster: When have I ever been a calming influence? Rio: I wish there was explaining it Rio: but nah Buster: Who do we owe an explanation to? Rio: I mean, if we could Rio: so we didn't have to hide it Buster: If we ever tell anyone I'm not explaining or grovelling, fuck that Buster: Only God can judge me and he don't exist, so Rio: Shh, my nan has spidey-sense for blasphemy Rio: I just wanna show everyone how much I love you Rio: I can at this party, yeah Buster: You can do whatever you want at this party, babe Rio: That like just what I need Buster: [a picture of a full crate/case of something expensive that he's bringing to this party] Buster: Nobody's gonna care what we do Rio: 🙌 Rio: you're the best Rio: I'm gonna need to get changed in the car Rio: 'cos not even me puts on a party dress to go have an argument, sadly Buster: Next time I won't tell you to fuck off for less than a tiara and ballgown, like Rio: I appreciate that Buster: I can wait, you know Buster: Without distracting you too much Rio: where Rio: I told you, I already left Buster: But you can go back, if you need to Rio: No I can't, 'cos I'm going to see Dan, remember Rio: not get ready to go out with you Rio: it doesn't matter Buster: You could be making yourself look beautiful for him Rio: Rude to suggest I'm not already Buster: I'm not suggesting that, just that I'm aware how arguments work Rio: That isn't the vibe Buster: You decide what the vibe is, and Nance doesn't need to know Rio: If you're saying I need to then just say it Buster: What? Rio: Put more effort in Rio: 'cos I'm clearly not bothered so Buster: I'm not saying that Buster: Why would I? Rio: I don't know Rio: you tell me Buster: Rio Rio: What? Buster: All I'm ever gonna tell you is how perfect you are Buster: Come on Rio: Do you think I'm going to embarrass you? Buster: No Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: Don't call me stupid Buster: I'm not, I'm saying the idea that I'd ever feel like that 'cause of you is stupid and you know it is Rio: I'm nervous Buster: Tell me Rio: What if someone there knows Rio: it's stupid Buster: We're going there 'cause they don't Buster: Trust me Rio: I do Rio: I just don't want this to end Buster: It won't Buster: No matter what, remember? Rio: Yeah Rio: I know, it'd just be nice if we didn't have to test that theory for a long time yet, wouldn't it Buster: We're not testing it tonight Buster: It's the opposite, a chance for us to be like any other couple Rio: Yeah Rio: okay, I'll stop freaking out now Buster: Freaking out isn't the vibe either, your worries aren't irrational, I wish I could say they are Buster: But like I said, I chose this party over any of the others happening this week for a good reason Buster: You're safe, and so is the secret Rio: You aren't stupid either, obviously Rio: I do know Rio: and I do wanna have a good time with you, so we will Buster: I just wanna give you everything that he can, especially bullshit that gets taken for granted Rio: You don't need to compete with him Rio: or anyone else Buster: There's no competition Buster: Like you said, I ain't stupid Rio: even if we could literally never leave the hotel, I'd be happy, you know Rio: I just like being with you Buster: Yeah, but you need to know that I'm not ashamed of you, I wasn't when we were kids and I'm not now Buster: Whether nobody or everybody knows Rio: I know what I am Rio: and what your friends are like Rio: and girls you're used to Rio: is different Buster: I know what you are Buster: And they're not my friends, you are Buster: As for any girl other than you, you know how I feel and how I don't Rio: I love you Buster: I'm sorry Rio: No, don't be Rio: you've done everything right Buster: I haven't though, it's my fault you feel like I could be anything but flattered that you wanna go anywhere with me Buster: I know what I am too, and what I've done Rio: It's more circumstance Rio: you just played into it Buster: I've been acting like it's Nance who's wrong, for not fitting in, maybe it's me Buster: Maybe I'm actually the weak one Rio: You did what you had to do Rio: I would've done the same Rio: I have Buster: You haven't been cruel, that's just me Rio: I'm no saint, babe Rio: no one is Buster: You're as close as it gets then Rio: You're good, Buster Rio: I know Rio: and I knew Buster: I'm whatever people need me to be Rio: You ain't what you do to survive Buster: That's exactly what I am Buster: Everyone is Rio: I don't think so Buster: 'Cause you want to think that I'm good Rio: No Rio: because that assumes it's never gonna be more than just surviving Rio: it's some lowest common denominator shit Rio: I'd rather look at potential over desperation Rio: any cunt who thinks they'd be a 👼 at their lowest, hasn't ever been that far down Buster: It's not gonna be more than just surviving any time soon Buster: So 'course you'd rather look at potential, who wouldn't? Rio: I'm not going to be defined by my worst Rio: that's not naive optimism Buster: Good, don't be Rio: Why are you then Buster: When you're the best, you're also the worst Rio: I'm not Rio: You can't have it all the ways Buster: You're better than me, that's no secret, babe Buster: I keep telling you Rio: Then I can be worse too Buster: No you can't Rio: Why don't you like yourself Buster: 'Cause you can't please everyone Rio: you should consider yourself Rio: fuck everyone else Buster: That would only get me so far Rio: You don't have to be a dick to get places Rio: I'm aware, it does work Rio: but it's also not a requirement Buster: It is where I live Buster: And as we've established, I won't be leaving for a while Rio: you don't want to end up there Rio: do you? Buster: No Rio: Good Buster: I wanna come home Rio: I like being here too Buster: Remember when I hid Rio: Yeah Rio: and we'd really plan like your parents would just leave without you eventually Buster: Home Alone and Parent Trap really made it seem plausible, to be fair Rio: You were lead well astray with the latter Rio: though you're not also a ginger so that revelation probably wouldn't have happened Buster: I'm not a girl, more importantly, I'm not exactly sure how that's escaped your notice lately Buster: And I've got more chance of becoming one than my parents have of getting divorced at this point Rio: This is true, I remember Rio: it has been a day, you know Rio: my memory fades so fast Buster: Just as well I took more pictures than just the topless ones earlier then, yeah? Buster: [dropping nudes casually] Rio: you're forgiven for holding out on me Rio: just so you know Rio: 🥴 Buster: I said I wouldn't distract you too much Buster: My memory never fades Rio: that's a shame Rio: 'cos there's loads of this convo I'd like you to forget Rio: but we can start with the no distracting rule Buster: I didn't say no, just that you've gotta put clothes on before I can take them off Rio: I suppose that's fair Buster: What are you wearing then? Rio: You can't rip it Rio: it's one of my best dresses Rio: [a picture of it in her bag] Rio: you want me to put it on? Buster: I'll do it Buster: I've stressed you out, it's only right that I calm you down before we get there Buster: Full 👸🏽 treatment Rio: It's not you Rio: but I'm not going to say no or turn that down ever so Buster: You've got the wrong twin if you want any makeup doing though Buster: I only know how to take it off Rio: 😏 I'll survive Rio: though I may put on some to have you do that again Rio: it was so nice Buster: Start with lipstick, I really wanna take that off Rio: ❤️ or 💗? Buster: You tell me Buster: [sends her a pic of his outfit like] Rio: Hmm Rio: You'll look better in pink Buster: Okay Rio: more subtle, I know Rio: but I can leave other marks Buster: Yeah, you can Buster: I'm almost there now Rio: Go faster Buster: I'm not driving Buster: But I'll insist he does Rio: Do Buster: Already done Rio: he must think you're such a twat now Rio: my bad Buster: You're worth getting a lower rating from him for Rio: That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me Rio: 😂 Buster: You're welcome Rio: You can say what you like about my standards on that one Buster: I don't dislike myself that much Rio: Good Rio: 'cos you're my favourite person Rio: and won't have nothing said about my taste Buster: You've got flawless taste, especially in dresses Rio: I knew you'd liked it Buster: I love it Rio: I'm gonna look good for you baby Buster: You do now Rio: but always Buster: You do always Rio: I'll get lazy if you make it this easy, like Buster: You'll still look good then Buster: And I'll still want you Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah? Rio: I'm going to miss you so much Buster: I'll do whatever I can to make sure you don't though Buster: Anything Rio: We both will Rio: people do it, don't they Rio: there must be tips to cope Buster: 'Course Buster: Loads of people meet online and live in different countries, loads further away from each other than we'll be Rio: Exactly Rio: it doesn't always fail, can't do Rio: it's just harder Buster: Even if it does for everyone else, we're not gonna let it for us Rio: No Rio: we can't Buster: We won't Rio: you're too good and no one else is going to look after you properly Buster: Nobody else is gonna look at me or touch me or know me Buster: Only you Rio: I'm yours, in every way a person can be Rio: and I need you, you know Buster: Well, I'm here, so you can have me Rio: here here? Buster: Close your eyes and open them again Buster: You'll see me Rio: [does] Buster: [opens the car door because gentleman] Rio: [the most extra greeting like it's been 1000 years] Buster: [we know he's being as extra it's fine] Rio: [lol at the day you ever get a chatty driver] Buster: [he'd just be rude cos 100% that bitch] Buster: [or they'd do that thing where you try and talk normally and act like nothing is happening even though you're being saucy af] Rio: [that is a mood tbf] Buster: [we should give them a chatty driver one day lol] Rio: [we'll let you live today 'cos you need to get changed so literally as much ignoring as possible tah] Buster: [get you a man who will undress and redress you like he literally is] Rio: [so about it, reckon we probably know how this party will play out now so wanna do easter?] Buster: [yeah we know it's their chance to be extra in front of everyone so I'm down to do easter]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: alright? Janis: grand Janis: and you, mate? Jimmy: you know me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: but actually Janis: told you he weren't too bad Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: expected worse Janis: Only acceptable if you basing that off Gracie Janis: if not, piss off 😂 Jimmy: she's the only other one I've met Jimmy: know they can't compare to you, Joanne, don't worry Janis: 💕 Janis: #peakromance Janis: not gonna force you to meet them Janis: I'd have to be there too and fuck that, like Jimmy: don't reckon that gets you out of family dinner with mine though Jimmy: challenge already been accepted ages ago Janis: try to be on time when it happens, like Janis: also not drag you off to you room 'forehand, like Janis: 😇 me Jimmy: good job you're a decent actress then 'cause I need you to do the opposite of everything you just said Janis: and multitasker 💪🥇 Jimmy: kids, dog, hippie bro & dickhead boyfriend being juggle like a pro Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: you know it, babe Janis: get everyone 😍 by the end like the people pleaser I am 😏 Jimmy: I know you're good with your hands Jimmy: so makes sense Jimmy: & you're one down on the 😍 Janis: 😳 boy Jimmy: I said I'm already 😍 stop looking so Janis: That's your fault Janis: trying to give me those shag flashbacks right now Janis: you know what you did Jimmy: If I have to have 'em every time I look at you, take your share, girl Jimmy: that's your fault Jimmy: you did what you did Janis: I know what I did Janis: and I regret nothing Janis: 😈 Jimmy: I regret needing sleep & having to stop Janis: I'm glad I could help you get a good night's though Janis: still got a 2 weeks of holiday, plenty of time Jimmy: still alive Jimmy: was touch & go for a bit though Jimmy: like you said, you know what you're doing Janis: Don't die Janis: be proper 💔 if you leave me with these cunts Janis: by which I mean the town, not current company aka your sibs, not that rude Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: take ghosting you to a new level Janis: honestly Janis: do not need to go that hard Janis: not gonna hunt you down and go all Mia on yo ass Jimmy: & I do need to touch you Jimmy: can't if I'm a ghost, can I? Janis: pretty sure patrick swayze fucked that girl as a ghost in that one film, no Janis: very least was jacking her off Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: movie magic don't count Jimmy: ain't never seen a sex scene worthy with two living characters Jimmy: not on our level Janis: so true Janis: but you're killing me here Jimmy: nowt like the payback you should get Jimmy: but a start Janis: can't do that yet Janis: gotta have a wholesome day out first Janis: 😏 aren't you thrilled Jimmy: can't fit a whole orchestra in this van Jimmy: I'll have to be Janis: Me too Janis: be a laugh Janis: or I ain't getting my callback, I remember Jimmy: if it was just us it'd be something Jimmy: but can't chuck the kids or dog out Jimmy: my dad's pissed off enough at me Janis: You don't know your way 'round yet so bit of a cheek tippin' 'em roadside like make your own way back, lads Janis: did he have a 'chat' with you this morning? Janis: didn't hear I was way out, like Jimmy: yeah 🙄🙄 Jimmy: he's a fan of the low tones anyway, reckons its more intimidating Janis: hmm 👌 Janis: you could already best him and do in everything else too so bit tragic Jimmy: 🎭 weren't passed down from him Jimmy: can't hide that he's basically given up Jimmy: or pretend that we ain't 🥊 before Janis: Wanker Janis: bet he didn't even check if the kids were up and listening or nah Janis: 👍 A+ Jimmy: nowt they ain't heard or seen before Jimmy: Cass has smacked me 'cause she's seen him do it Jimmy: & cause she knows I can't give her one back 🙄 bit rude Janis: That's shit Janis: 'cos how are you stopping that now Jimmy: rather it's me than some dickhead at school or wherever who could smack her back Jimmy: she don't know how to stop when she starts Janis: Yeah, I get that Janis: my Uncle works down community centre and I know they do martial arts shit that doesn't cost a bomb to do Janis: Might help, she'd rate that regardless, yeah? Jimmy: proper anger management's off the table & she'd be more about signing up to that kind of shit anyway Jimmy: tah 👍 Jimmy: could even make some mates maybe Janis: Yeah they'd be on her level like Janis: I'll bring it up if I get the chance, won't seem like your idea then 'cos gotta be anti anything you suggest, obvs Jimmy: You're so Jimmy: I really fucking like you Jimmy: I'd kiss you but I don't know how to stop when I start either Janis: Not gonna enroll you in any classes though Janis: I like losing control with you Jimmy: I've noticed Janis: Should hope so 😏 Jimmy: looking at me like that's a decent reminder too Jimmy: if I did need Janis: I like looking at you too Janis: is this how it is, yeah? Janis: went nearly 16 whole years without and now I can't go a minute without thinking 'bout it Jimmy: it's how it is, me & you Jimmy: throwing my ex under the wheels of this van with how that sounds Jimmy: but she'd agree Janis: #special Jimmy: yeah Janis: I'd believe it Jimmy: you should Jimmy: you are Jimmy: not only 'cause you're weird Janis: you still gonna call me weird when you've met Iggy Janis: Really Jimmy: #only got eyes for you Janis: 😂 nice save Jimmy: he's alright Jimmy: rather serve him than your sister Janis: Agreed, though might ask for some weird ass tea and have you and Pete scratching your heads like Jimmy: gotta support my fellow starving artists Jimmy: even if it pisses me off that he is one for real Jimmy: better than me Janis: Shut up Janis: completely different styles, they ain't comparable Jimmy: you can't make me right now, darling Janis: 😒 don't try me, darling Jimmy: if you gotta try you've already lost, Julie Janis: well guess who's not getting an ice cream now Janis: clue, it ain't Twix Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I get it, you couldn't handle having to see me eat it Jimmy: I'm hot & know what I'm doing, deal with it, girl Janis: Deal with me Jimmy: put the dog down first Jimmy: didn't sign up to deal with her too Janis: soz babe, I asked him but it's a no go Janis: 🤷 Janis: 🐶💔 Jimmy: seriously come here though Janis: sure? Jimmy: go on Janis: [Sits on the floor between his legs so her head in his knee] Janis: hey Jimmy: [plays with her hair for a bit 'cause safe touching please lads there are children present] Janis: Jim why does that feel so nice what the fuck Jimmy: If I was a dickhead I'd say I'm just that good Janis: Go on then Janis: Just don't stop okay Jimmy: I told you, not good at stopping once I've started Janis: Almost a shame we've not got the long train journey now I could stay like this the whole time Jimmy: we've still got the journey back Janis: True Jimmy: can I take it down or would you be 💔? Jimmy: I'll put every hair back how I found it, not an animal Janis: You like it down, don't you Janis: it'll be a mess but 'course who am I to deny Jimmy: I just like it Jimmy: whatever it's doing Janis: You're cute Janis: Good thing I didn't let Gracie convince me to get it straightened then Jimmy: as long as you didn't throw a strop anytime I came near if you had Jimmy: loads of girls get real mardy about it Janis: White girls acting like that is mad Janis: least she's just tryna stop you leaving with a hank of hers, like, shit's no joke Jimmy: I was trying to get with this girl at a party once, white 'cause yeah it's the north she'd barely let me touch her 'cause she'd spent so long getting dolled up to drink in someone's garden Janis: Surely that's the entire point of parties or have I got that wrong suddenly like what Janis: look but don't touch, babe Jimmy: this is why you're weird & I like you Jimmy: not to become a # of not like other girls or whatever Janis: it's alright the sisterhood of #girlbossessupportinggirlbosses and #queensfixeachotherscrowns have no time or respect for me anyway so may as well go there, fuck you bitches Janis: I'm great you ain't Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you'll be happy to hear the look but don't touch girl got her heels stuck in the grass Jimmy: turned her ankle right over Janis: 😂 Janis: That genuinely does please me Janis: what a judgmental bitch am I right Jimmy: made me laugh when I found out Jimmy: already left the party by then Janis: 😍 PLEASE Janis: don't be so hot, family present 😏 Jimmy: [kisses her anyway which Cass would be OTT grossed out about just to be a dick lol] Janis: excuse you Janis: here to make friends not enemies rn Jimmy: 'scuse you Jimmy: you know how I feel about that word Janis: okay but you started it Jimmy: where & when? Janis: by being all antisocial and #relatable before I even knew you so there and then, boy Jimmy: I reckon you started it Jimmy: Looking so Jimmy: & tasting so fucking Janis: Baby Janis: You're making this so hard, Jesus Jimmy: You Jimmy: You're making it hard Janis: [Sneaky moving her head into his lap back 'cos well] Jimmy: I told you we should have just stayed in bed Janis: Mmm, well when we're back in there you can remind me why we stay extra hard Jimmy: You know I'm too northern to have that much patience Jimmy: can't your brother make a stop? be oscar worthy & act like the dog needs a piss Janis: You're just gonna tease me and make concentrating even harder, aren't you? Jimmy: as much as I can tease you without saying fuck it & Janis: 😖 Janis: and fuck it Janis: hold on then Jimmy: doing my best Janis: This is entirely your fault Jimmy: alright Jimmy: it can be my fault Janis: I mean Janis: Still blame Twix, you don't need me to come hold your hand if you need a piss, like Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: Really feel it 😏 Jimmy: sometimes but not right now Jimmy: Just gimme even a few minutes Jimmy: I'll say the word if it makes your mind up Janis: Go on then Jimmy: please just Jimmy: get us out of here for a sec Janis: [Be more obvious lads] Jimmy: I'm not gonna say tah & make it weird Janis: Face 😳 enough as is, babe Jimmy: yeah Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: are you coming back to sit with me or you got what you wanted now & it's a nah? Janis: Charming finding out what you think of me, boy 👌 Jimmy: not an answer is it, though Janis: [Sits with him but brings Twix 'cos she fussy] Jimmy: ['fixes' her hair but like actually 'cause he probably did mess it up soz babe] Janis: Gonna have people thinking exactly what we've been doing Jimmy: don't matter, does it? Janis: Nah Janis: no one knows me here Jimmy: [begrudgingly also strokes twix's head too 'cause squad] Jimmy: how long 'til we get there? Janis: [Smug face] Janis: not long at all but shh Twix couldn't hold it Jimmy: if you saw our kitchen floor of a morning you'd believe it Janis: sexy Janis: weren't even arsed 'bout me like just being a dutiful dog owner okay Jimmy: come on, anyone who knows me would believe THAT Janis: good thing no one 'round here does so we continue to be #goals Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I am #goals Janis: I know, it's me that ain't Janis: dragging you down 'fore you had a chance, 'tis rude Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 🤷 not jumping out a moving vehicle, soz Jimmy: [pulls her closer instead 'cause that's what he actually wants] Jimmy: stop Janis: Just saying, like Jimmy: keep saying and I will shut you up, whatever Cass wants to reckon 'bout it Janis: 🤐 Janis: for her sake only Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: lovely you Jimmy: just 'cause I'm not part of the making mates mission Jimmy: that'd probably win Cass over though actually so carry on Janis: Always thinking, mate 😏 Jimmy: hang on I'm friendzoned again 👌 Janis: you were clearly feeling left-out Jimmy: & no room for an orchestra Jimmy: gotta do what you gotta do Janis: Exactly Janis: Knew you'd understand Jimmy: very understanding me Janis: gotta be to put up with me init Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: what's the trouble, Jenna? Janis: What? Jimmy: you're clearly feeling less than 🥇 Jimmy: so go on Jimmy: what Janis: It's nothing Janis: I'm just Janis: trying to get your siblings to not hate me and it's a bit stressful, idk how to do that, I don't do that usually Jimmy: thank fuck for that Jimmy: not that's its stressful Jimmy: but I thought I did something wrong Janis: 'course not, you've been your usual dickhead self, you know I like that Jimmy: don't worry 'bout 'em Jimmy: there's nowt more you can do Jimmy: they were well excited to come today Jimmy: still gotta be Janis: they ain't gotta be my besties I ain't that tryhard bitch but I'm not tryna fuck shit up either like, that's all I want 'em to know Jimmy: Cass' only got a cob on 'cause she reckons now we're going out I'm gonna fuck off Jimmy: like I'll just move myself into your country mansion, rich girl Jimmy: it already pisses her off that I gotta work all the hols & leave her looking after Bobbo Janis: it's fine, they've not done anything to me, not saying that either just you know, again, not something I usually do Janis: makes sense Janis: a lot on you all howeever you work it Janis: welcome to, my Ma'd love it, new kiddos, I'll move in with and awkwardly avoid your Da, it's cool Jimmy: band-aid babies don't fix shit there's a # to get trending Jimmy: if my dad's gonna have twitter might as well make use Jimmy: least he did get the snip after tah for doing that much dad Janis: yikes, and I thought I should feel unloved being the bonus ball Janis: fucking parents, full of great ideas, in theory Jimmy: is gracie older than you? Janis: 🙄 I know, when she's such a #beta bitch in every way Jimmy: I'm so embarrassed for her Jimmy: I thought she was the bonus ball & that was her issue Jimmy: oh girl Janis: She fronts like she was so left out so unsurprising Jimmy: least she ain't first & worst 🏆 for me that Janis: Thank God for all our sakes Janis: easily rival you in dickheadness, would not survive Jimmy: piss off could she Jimmy: I'm #1 Janis: #1 in my heart, babe 😍😂 Jimmy: alright, calm down, Juliet Jimmy: I ain't gonna throw myself in the sea Janis: gutted Janis: no Mr Darcy moment Jimmy: unless Mia shows up with her iced frappe Janis: we're putting nothing past her Janis: knows my location at all times, obvs Jimmy: reckon she's implanted a tracker on you Jimmy: gonna have to thoroughly check later Jimmy: remind me Janis: 🤤 Janis: save me, babe Jimmy: 💪 Janis: how are you so hot when you're such a nerd though 🤔 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if you'd known who I am before these hols you'd know that ain't true Jimmy: basically ⬇ all my classes Janis: just in personality, then Janis: nah Janis: you ain't thick Jimmy: again, piss off Jimmy: #notthicknorthern Janis: 😂 Janis: exactly baby, just the accent, everyone like ?? Jimmy: my old school had like one book & a bike shed 👌 Janis: hot Jimmy: you'd have liked it, the boy was called 'how to be fucking cryptic like the paddys' Jimmy: book* Janis: Sounds useful, shoulda read it, mate Jimmy: told you, don't know how Jimmy: just faking it Janis: I'll tutor you Janis: if it gets me out of Physics Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll get you outta physics babe Janis: #hero Jimmy: like I said, not thick, loads of #talents Janis: Like I said, you mean Janis: 'cos I know Jimmy: consult my # Jimmy: it had the words not thick in it Janis: Don't be a smart ass now I wanna talk more about your talents Jimmy: you wanna talk 'cause you ain't seen enough or 'cause I can't give you a demo right now? Janis: 2nd one, obviously Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause obviously one of] Jimmy: that's where you were wrong but it's alright Janis: Jimmy Janis: you're such a good kisser, you know Jimmy: I'd be 💔 if you didn't reckon so 'cause I wanna kiss you again already Janis: [Kisses him back, soz Cass] Jimmy: that don't count 'cause that's you kissing me Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [really sorry now Cass] Janis: You're pissing her off so much Janis: I'd kill you if you were my Brother Jimmy: don't try & put me off Janis: I've gotta, no more time for a break, like Jimmy: you can't Jimmy: [is just looking at her in the hottest way ever excuse him] Janis: 😳 stop looking at me like that Janis: I can't Jimmy: Cass might wanna kill me but you've got first dibs remember Janis: It's indecent how fucking good you look Janis: like all the things I wanna do to you, just about stopping short of killing, like, fuck me Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: do something Janis: You know I can't stop once I start, you sure? Jimmy: we're almost there Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: You don't wanna be walking around as turned on as I am Janis: [Sits on his lap] See? Jimmy: [has to kiss her to stop whatever sound he was gonna make from coming out 'cause nobody else needs that in their lives] Janis: I'm gonna have to go find a bathroom to touch myself in thinking about you seriously I need to cum before I can function properly you're so Jimmy: but I'm the relatable & antisocial one 👌 Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: if you'd thought about your outfit more I could be touching you right now Jimmy: get it together, girl Jimmy: Jeans Janis: sorry but you did this to me Janis: who knew that's why everyone rates skirts? never mind I was planning for a wholesome day exploring castles and cold beaches excuse you Jimmy: I'm so mad at you Jimmy: goddamn it, Jillian Janis: 😠 Janis: say my actual name dickhead Jimmy: make me, dickhead Janis: fine, Imma go think 'bout someone else, Jimmy who? Jimmy: try it Jimmy: you won't be turned on anymore, problem solved Janis: 😒 Jimmy: [REALLY goes in on kissing her again, sorry everyone] Janis: [Moaning into his mouth with lots of lip biting cos truly Iggy stop the car] Janis: I hate you a bit Jimmy: sounds fake Janis: Maybe but fuck sake why Janis: I ache Jimmy: I can't touch you, it's all I can do Janis: okay but if we get literally five minutes to ourselves you're doing it Janis: I've got blankets for the beach Jimmy: Easy Jimmy: I'll find us loads of time Jimmy: Cass can't wait to get away from me, look Janis: Unsurprised Janis: great first impression I'm making 👌 Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'm trying but Jimmy: I want you Janis: not like I've tried that hard myself Janis: I'll do better 😇 actually Jimmy: not yet Janis: I told you I need to cum before I can function so yeah Janis: not yet Jimmy: find a way now you're 🥇 Jimmy: I'll do my bit Jimmy: [moves her 'cause he likes doing that and is so helpful] Janis: Now? When wasn't I? Jimmy: but really commit to it Jimmy: we don't have that many clothes on Janis: Oh, I see Janis: You can be quiet, can't you? Jimmy: 🤞 as quiet as you on the bus Janis: I hope so Janis: 9 brothers and sisters you learn how to be quiet with these things, especially when so many of them aren't Jimmy: just tell me how you did it & I'll do the exact same 👌 Janis: You wanna hear about all the times I fucked myself 'til I came and no one even noticed? Jimmy: well now I fucking do Jimmy: should we go up the front or is your brother gonna be more mardy than my sister? Janis: He won't notice and if he did Janis: he ain't gonna care much or be able to do anything Jimmy: You could've told me that before Jimmy: I could've been fucking you this whole time Janis: Well like I said, I had good intentions, boy Jimmy: 'scuse you my intentions are REALLY good right now Janis: Okay okay let's move Jimmy: lasses first Janis: how un-you Janis: if it weren't for the lingo Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: I can barely string a sentence together Jimmy: your fault Janis: Tell me to shut up again when you're inside me, I'm gonna need reminding Jimmy: I'm gonna need to tell myself to keep it together when I am so it's not over as soon as Jimmy: very ungoals Janis: I'm not gonna last either Janis: so close it's stupid Jimmy: I want you so much Janis: least this road is bumpy as shit Janis: fuck into me without anyone knowing Jimmy: I change my mind again from whatever it is last was, that's the hottest thing you've ever said to me Janis: I'll update my list Jimmy: come here first Janis: [casual van aerobics okay lads] Janis: Fuck Jimmy: I know Janis: I can feel your dick throbbing inside me your heart is racing as fast as mine Jimmy: might actually die this time Janis: How does it feel this good we're barely moving but every slight jolt is Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: I never done this before but we have to again Janis: Deal Janis: I love fucking you Jimmy: [gotta make him kiss her really hard for a while 'cause he nearly said it & damn] Janis: God Jimmy what have you done to me Jimmy: likewise Janis Janis: Did you feel what happened when you said my name? Janis: that happens every time Jimmy: I'll say it more Janis: I might die then Jimmy: you & me both Janis: You've gotta bite the inside of your lip and cheeks okay Janis: to be really quiet even when you cum Jimmy: it works? Janis: it might bleed Janis: just don't stop, it'll make it better, trust me Jimmy: I do Janis: I trust you too Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: I Janis: It's okay, I'm going to as well Janis: cum for me Jimmy: [kisses her again 'cause how to even do words] Janis: [After] Janis: Should sleep well tonight Jimmy: are you gonna stay? Janis: I don't have to if it's gonna cause hassle Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: 'Course Jimmy: then fuck him Jimmy: we don't even know if he's coming back himself Jimmy: could have a date Janis: Hard life, ain't it? Jimmy: You know Jimmy: back to work tomorrow Janis: You'll love it, Pete can show you how much he's missed you, like Jimmy: no tan lines to show him but plenty of bruises Jimmy: he'll love that Janis: Defs likes his girls pale anyway Jimmy: except you Jimmy: the exception we all make, like Janis: I mean Janis: exactly Jimmy: I care more 'bout how much you're gonna miss me Jimmy: soz pete Janis: 👦💔 Janis: I'll give you the play by play no doubt Janis: always blowing up my phone 😏 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 I'll put classic FM on for him while we sling the lattes Jimmy: I can do radio silence if you want, mate Janis: Would not go dow well with your regulars Janis: though they'd be living for your drama Janis: don't Jimmy: what you on 'bout Mia was born to the funeral march, weren't she? Jimmy: bet she fucks to it too Janis: 😂 Jimmy: is that lad just bones now? Anyone heard from him? Janis: I'll ask around Janis: layabout I am Jimmy: call home if you've still got hands boy Jimmy: what am I on 'bout, the tongue'd be the first thing to go Jimmy: poor bastard Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: pour one out for him Janis: iced americano to go Jimmy: that's a good shout though, do you wanna get a real drink tonight? Jimmy: even if it's just at mine or whatever Janis: Yeah sounds good Janis: I'll stop you from getting hungover if you don't call me a pisshead Jimmy: I'll cook if you don't tell your dad how shit I am Janis: Secret's safe with me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Be good Janis: find something not shit to watch Janis: horror, of course Jimmy: I reckoned you were telling me to be good then Jimmy: like I was gonna fuck you on the kitchen table if I weren't told Janis: 😂 Janis: I mean how good have you been thus far, not the best track record but Jimmy: If the table was sturdy enough I would Jimmy: flimsy as shit though Jimmy: not trying to kill you like that Janis: Sounding like you got other plans that ain't the ones I know you mean but I'll go with it Janis: don't be poisoning my food when I trust you Jimmy: it might taste that bad Jimmy: but that's #accidental Janis: that's his story and he's sticking to it guv Jimmy: there's a film I wanna show you Jimmy: which sounds like a porno now but Jimmy: 🤞 you'll like it even though it ain't Janis: I look forward to it Janis: you know I'll let you know Jimmy: #northernclassic Jimmy: which is also what they say about Barry's skin flicks Jimmy: but that's another story Janis: 🤢 mate Janis: I cannot pretend to be into Barry, even in his prime Janis: know he's the love of your life but nah Jimmy: I get it, you're all faked out Jimmy: such a slog with me 🎻🎻 Janis: I'm working 'round the clock here, like Jimmy: god bless Janis: gimme a fucking break Jimmy: feck knows I need one 🚬 Janis: You gonna have to wait or go alone or we're looking dead suspect, boy Jimmy: I'll wait Jimmy: #truelove Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Damn Janis: Actually a bit impressed Jimmy: don't know if I'm meant to laugh or be 💔 Janis: Not being a judgy cunt about it Jimmy: #notmymissus Janis: 😒 don't take the piss Jimmy: very un me that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: You look hot when you're trying to pretend you ain't annoyed at me Janis: Who's pretending? We're brawling 🥊 Jimmy: it wasn't a challenge to make it hotter Jimmy: but alright Janis: Stop it Janis: Rude to stare, you know Jimmy: [starts a play fight 'cause he is that dickhead] Janis: Don't feel too bad you lost 😏 Jimmy: that ain't how I feel Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: can't you tell Janis: Yeah Janis: Damn you Jimmy: what did you say, actually a bit impressed? Jimmy: #same Janis: You best not be joking or I'll fuck you up again like 😉 Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Janis: Idk what to say when you're actually cute and Janis: shh Jimmy: I don't know what to say when you keep impressing me, my sister & the dog Jimmy: like its nowt Jimmy: get a smile out of Bobby & I'll really die Janis: 💪 Janis: always aiming for 🥇you know me baby Jimmy: go on then Janis: Um gimme time to prepare, can't rush it he'll be terrified Janis: 'specially as he's about to nod off Jimmy: give him a shoulder to put his head on Jimmy: loves a hug our kid Jimmy: 🐶 gonna beat you to it Janis: That's so fucking cute Jimmy: 📷 Janis: See, she loves yas Jimmy: him maybe, what's not to Janis: She says backatcha bitch what's your problem? Janis: Paraphrasing Jimmy: but I'm a nerd 👌 babe Janis: Bit rude Janis: Ignoring Twix like that Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I'm gonna laugh & wake 'em Janis: Blur your shot too #realpriority #tellmeimwrong #youcant Jimmy: you're such a dickhead Janis: Backatcha Janis: From me this time Jimmy: tah for making sure I knew Jimmy: 💕 Janis: lowkey needs to get her own mans Janis: dead sly coming for mine Jimmy: hang on, ain't I the third wheel? Janis: 😶 Oops Jimmy: sort yourself out, Jasmine Jimmy: bit snide & unholy that Janis: shut up Jimmy: look at Cass Jimmy: trying dead hard not to go too Jimmy: #itscatching Janis: 😎 Janis: success Jimmy: you tired? Janis: Little bit Jimmy: I've got a shoulder you can have Janis: Just the shoulder? Janis: 🤔 Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: & owt else Jimmy: depends how tired you are Jimmy: but whatever you want, you know Janis: 😍🤤😴 Janis: Me dreaming on it Jimmy: come here first Jimmy: I can't stretch that far Janis: Short arse 😋 Jimmy: Piss off Janis: Come on babe, you gotta have some tall girl jokes in ya Jimmy: maybe if I weren't thinking 'bout how long your legs are Jimmy: its distracting Janis: Is it? Janis: [Does the Sharon Stone leg cross 'cos nerd] Jimmy: remember when you said you hated me a bit Jimmy: mutual now Janis: Don't be a hater, babe Jimmy: stop Jimmy: or make use of how asleep everyone but your brother is Janis: [Comes over and puts her head on his shoulder to look up at him] Janis: What did you have in mind? Jimmy: [plays with her hair while he's 'thinking'] Janis: It's been a good day, hasn't it Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: even though that should sound fake Janis: No bullshit right now yeah Jimmy: 'course not Janis: Good Janis: I liked it too Jimmy: I like you too much for that shit Janis: We're on the same page Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause they cute] Janis: More please Jimmy: [kisses her harder this time 'cause she said the damn word] Janis: Never stop kissing me Jimmy: I had to, to read that, but alright Janis: Shh I just mean Janis: you know Jimmy: I know Jimmy: same page, yeah? Janis: Yeah Jimmy: But it is your turn Jimmy: not to be a dickhead Janis: My turn to what? Jimmy: kiss me Janis: Oh good Janis: Easy Janis: [Does] Jimmy: [again is too highkey about whenever she kisses him like calm down boy don't wake everyone up] Janis: I love how much you want me Jimmy: It's like I forget how good you are Jimmy: & then remember every time Janis: Not even gonna fake mad at you forgetting because that's the best way to describe it Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: how do you fucking do that? Janis: You're Janis: I don't know, I just wanna make you feel better than you ever have Jimmy: Challenge accepted & blown out the water, girl Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇 Jimmy: giving you a whole row Janis: 💕 Janis: Up for beating my own record though Janis: every time Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: give it a shot Janis: question is do we risk them waking up or my brother up front Janis: probably doesn't want to ignore me getting fucked twice in a day Jimmy: give him a break Jimmy: they sleep like the dead when they finally do Janis: Yeah? Janis: Let's put that theory to the test Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: Well I was gonna see just how ready you were my own way but if you're sure Jimmy: who am I to refuse you when #inspo strikes Jimmy: do it Janis: Been thinking about this ever since ice cream Jimmy: shit Janis: You taste better Jimmy: You're so much better than me at this silence thing Janis: [Comes up to kiss him to shh] Janis: Be good Jimmy: I'm trying Jimmy: but you're just Janis: Better? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: Glad I got that in writing babe Jimmy: I don't care just don't stop Janis: Won't, this is too much fun Jimmy: It's Janis: I can feel how much you like it, you don't have to tell me Janis: the way you push your hips forward to get deeper, turning me on so much Jimmy: please tell me you've done this before Janis: No Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: I have to leave the country Jimmy: just not now Janis: Don't even think of moving unless it's further into my throat Janis: I told you, I just wanna make you fell good Jimmy: I really wanna hate you at this exact moment Jimmy: but I don't Janis: Why bother Janis: when it feels this good Jimmy: Janis Janis: Oh God Janis: Yes Jimmy? Jimmy: I don't know I just wanted to Janis: Don't worry I am so unbelievably wet for you Jimmy: I wanna taste you too Jimmy: after Janis: After you've cum in my mouth? Jimmy: & when reckon you couldn't be more turned on Janis: Actually going to kill me Janis: Actually don't care Jimmy: me either Jimmy: you can have that first of mine, it's only fair Jimmy: never made a girl cum with just my tongue before Janis: Really? Jimmy: my ex weren't into it Janis: but it feels so Janis: fuck Janis: and if you wanna do it like damn Jimmy: maybe I'm shit at it? feel free to send her your thoughts in a bit Janis: My thoughts will not be cohesive but she's welcome to hear me begging you if she's into that, like Jimmy: mine haven't been all day Jimmy: probably since I met you Janis: What did you think of me when you met me, not personality just looks Jimmy: when I met you or when I first saw you? Janis: You remember when you first saw me Jimmy: #creepyartist Jimmy: sorry Janis: It's nice Janis: I'm just surprised, 'course I remember but there's one of you and however many of us Jimmy: It was a shit lesson & I was doodling Jimmy: which I probably shouldn't tell you turned into you Jimmy: but like Jimmy: weren't gonna draw Mr Lucas was I? Janis: You absolutely should tell me that Jimmy: You wanna see it? Janis: You have it? Jimmy: It's on the page of whatever notes I bothered to do before it Janis: I wanna see it Janis: No wonder everyone fancies you Jimmy: I'll find it when we get back then Jimmy: just don't expect too much Janis: You know I like your doodles Jimmy: but I told you, you're prettier than I can draw you Janis: I don't care, I just like that you did it Jimmy: I'm not gonna date someone who isn't hot even if it's fake Janis: I really didn't think you saw me like that Jimmy: why? Janis: Well you did say you picked me so you wouldn't be tempted Janis: not that I actually expect everyone to fall at my feet but just seemed like an indication, like Jimmy: what was I gonna say? Jimmy: you're really fucking pretty please fake date me Janis: I mean yeah, hindsight Janis: IDK Jimmy: I thought you reckoned I was Jimmy: I don't know Janis: I thought you were like, stupid hot, yeah but then when you didn't take immediate advantage of that, start going out with all the popular girls and hanging with the lads I took more notice Janis: like Janis: I could tell none of that stupid shit mattered to you either but I could hardly come up to you and be like same, like you'd think I was such a dickhead and not in a cute way Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I'm not approachable Jimmy: outside of the CG where they pay me to be Jimmy: it's deliberate Janis: But exactly, me too, hence I didn't, it's like I could work out how it'd go down 'cos of how I would have been if it was the other way 'round Jimmy: it don't matter now Jimmy: you're here Janis: You can tell me to fuck off at any time Janis: it'll only be a bit shit Jimmy: shut up Janis: Didn't mean to do this, you know Janis: but I'm not mad it happened Jimmy: I know Janis: Sorry Janis: didn't mean to make it weird ignore me Jimmy: It's not weird Jimmy: nowt more than you Janis: 😏 Jimmy: & I wanna know this shit Jimmy: even if it means I have to show you my shit #art Janis: it is not shit Janis: anyway you can always make some more you're proud of 📸 Jimmy: [snaps a pic of her 'cause he's cheeky like that] Janis: A professional would've given me some warning, boy Jimmy: so you can pose? fuck that fake shit, remember Janis: fuck that fake shit Janis: delete it if I look shit though, tah Jimmy: [shows her 'cause he ain't that rude] Jimmy: do you want me to? Janis: You can keep it Janis: just for you Jimmy: alright Jimmy: [snaps a pic of himself too] Jimmy: for you then Janis: Thanks Janis: You're pretty Jimmy: piss off Janis: Take the compliment Jimmy: gimme a better one Janis: I've been LITERALLY sucking your dick and telling you how much I love the taste what's wrong with pretty Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: just Janis: Okay, it's cool, think of something you do like and I'll call you that instead Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: You can say what you want Janis: No point if you don't like it Jimmy: don't be in a strop about it Jimmy: that's not Janis: I ain't, seriously Jimmy: just pretend I said nowt Janis: Jimmy, it's fine, I mean it Jimmy: it's not Jimmy: go back Jimmy: like I never said Janis: Okay Jimmy: alright Janis: [Kisses him but gentle] Jimmy: [kisses her back low key too much 'cause he's trying to erase that blip there oh boy] Janis: They really are soundo Jimmy: I told you Janis: Cute when they're sleeping Jimmy: not when you have to sleep with 'em Janis: I shouldn't keep staying over should I Janis: when you think you might get a bed to yourself, like Jimmy: do you wanna stay? Janis: Yeah but Jimmy: but what? Janis: If you need a decent night's kip just say Jimmy: just say if you don't wanna come over Janis: Is that what I said? Nah 'cos that isn't what I want Jimmy: It ain't what I said or want either Janis: Have to check, that's all Jimmy: why? Jimmy: why do you have to? Janis: 'Cos I told you I didn't wanna go Home and I'd hate for you to feel like you gotta have me, I want you to want me Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I want you Janis: Alright Janis: Good Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause gotta prove it now like] Janis: Fuck baby Janis: Are we friends again? 😏 Jimmy: do you kiss your mates like that? Janis: What mates? Jimmy: [starts kissing her neck instead and just moving to where he can 'cause clothes are a thing sadly for them but not sadly for everyone else] Janis: It's like that, huh? Okay Jimmy: I'm just getting out of the friendzone babe Janis: Such a smartarse Janis: Show me what we are I want it Jimmy: where? Janis: [#exposes dem collarbones] Here Jimmy: [don't have to tell him twice okay] Janis: That's going to look so fucking pretty Jimmy: I'll 📷 when it's ready Janis: Why does that get me so Janis: do Jimmy: I'll go all night Jimmy: me and the camera Janis: Jesus Jim Janis: Please fuck me right now I miss having you that close Jimmy: [Can't say no to a please ever so] Janis: How do you know exactly what I like Janis: Seriously Jimmy: how do you know what I like? Janis: Maybe we don't question it Janis: just so glad you do Jimmy: It's just Jimmy: I reckon I know that you'll like it before I even do it Janis: I feel that Janis: like I should be second-guessing everything probably but I'm just Janis: not Jimmy: you shouldn't be second guessing nowt Jimmy: you're Jimmy: you're fucking incredible at all of this Janis: It feels incredible Jimmy: You could probably make me cum without properly touching me Jimmy: 'cause you're just 🥇 you know Janis: Maybe we'll put that to the test later but I like touching you too much right now to stop Jimmy: & I want you to touch me all the time Janis: I just keep thinking how hard it'll be to be in lessons with you now I know all the things we could be doing instead, like Jimmy: we won't go Jimmy: fuck it Janis: Sorry teachers sorry parents 😋 Jimmy: sorry ain't how we'll feel Janis: nope Janis: and we can be as loud as we want because everyone else will have fucked off and it'll just be us all day Jimmy: you can be as loud as you want Jimmy: I always am Janis: It's your house though I can't start screaming casually 😂 Jimmy: like you said, it's my house Jimmy: so yeah you can Janis: 🤤 Janis: okay whatever you say Jimmy: you can show me how loud you wanna be Jimmy: when you don't have to be anything else Janis: that sounds so good Jimmy: 'til I find out you just wanted to be a horny mute this whole time Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shut up Janis: like you don't know all the things I wanna say to you whilst I can still be coherent Jimmy: I like it when you can't Janis: Fuck me harder then, they're not waking and Iggy ain't looking Jimmy: lose control for me Jimmy: really Janis: Don't let me stop okay Jimmy: you won't 'cause I won't Janis: Don'thold bac, I want it so hard Jimmy: Challenge accepted, don't worry Janis: Thank fuck I met you Janis: I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else and I need this Jimmy: I need you Janis: I'm here, I'm all yours Jimmy: [more kissing 'cause boy shut your damn mouth you're testing me] Janis: [is whisper moaning into his ear, holding onto his neck] Jimmy: [doing his best to make her be louder as per] Jimmy: come on Jimmy: I know that isn't how loud you wanna be Janis: What if he hears Jimmy: after everything we did earlier, does that matter? Jimmy: [puts music on from his phone though 'cause considerate] Jimmy: alright? Janis: Not gonna take time to critique your musical tastes 'cos yes, so alright right now Jimmy: piss off it's a tune Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm not really listening, not gonna lie Jimmy: Can't fake 💔 right now Jimmy: you've got my attention Janis: Watch me Janis: Watch me cum all over your cock again and again and listen to every sound that comes with Jimmy was timed out 6 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 3 hours ago Jimmy: [makes his own fair share of sounds including saying her name 'cause damn] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: I have no words left Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: I can't Jimmy: [just doing what he can to get her to talk 'cause living for it] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: Janis Janis: Fucking Janis: I Janis: You're gonna make me say some stupid shit Jimmy: I told you, you can say what you want Janis: You make me feel so good Jimmy: You do to me Janis: Good Janis: That's all I wanna do Jimmy: don't stop then Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: [gotta use my kiss escape hatch again 'cause shhh boy] Janis: Baby Janis: [Takes his phone and turns the music up 'cos] Jimmy: I'm never gonna be able to listen to this song again without you, am I? Janis: Not sorry Jimmy: You're Jimmy: you sound better Janis: It's you Janis: I didn't know boys made noise too Jimmy: Just me & Barry, like Janis: Don't 😂 Janis: Appreciate the efforts to turn me off but Jimmy: [redoubles his efforts to keep her turned on instead] Janis: Oh Jimmy: 💕 Janis: I like you Jimmy: I like you too Janis: Same page yeah Jimmy: for real Janis: [Kisses him 'til they finish] Jimmy: [snuggles her after 'cause he's soft] Jimmy: do you wanna sleep too? Janis: [puts her head in his lap and stretches out] Janis: maybe Janis: are you going to too? Jimmy: [plays with her hair again 'cause fave] Jimmy: maybe Janis: This is nice Janis: let's stay like this for a while Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😊 Jimmy: [is obviously really sleepy pulling them Cass fighting sleep moves] Janis: [Reaches up, is massaging his neck and shoulders] Janis: Sleep time Jimmy: oh Janis: You're tense baby, let me help you Jimmy: when you put it like that Janis: [Goes harder 'cos course she knows how, Cali kid] Janis: Tell me if it's too much Jimmy: Nah it's Jimmy: Good Janis: Good Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: is there anything you can't do? Janis: Why are you mad, you're benefitting, aren't you? Jimmy: 'cause you're like perfect Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: don't be stupid Janis: I'm a dickhead yeah Jimmy: You ARE a dickhead Jimmy: gonna be more of one when school starts yeah? Jimmy: star of the classroom Janis: for you, yeah Janis: 😍 so blatant Jimmy: it'll gimme summat to draw so tah Janis: long as you show me Jimmy: [traces the 😍 on her with his finger 'cause nerd] Janis: you've given me goosebumps Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [snuggles her though 'cause they just cute nerds bye] Janis: Thanks Janis: for today Jimmy: you sorted it Jimmy: it's your shout Janis: Yeah but you lot came Janis: I haven't had a decent day like that in a while, what I'm saying Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: us either Janis: Not to be weird about it Janis: Obvs Jimmy: not you Jimmy: just wouldn't Janis: Cheek 😏 Jimmy: don't sound like me either that Janis: Nah Janis: so normal so #basic Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: [is a yawny boy] Janis: Come on now Janis: Swap places with me Jimmy: alright Janis: [Strokes his hair] Jimmy: that's Janis: Shh Janis: Just enjoy it Jimmy: but we're gonna be back soon, aren't we? Janis: I mean don't think I can carry you, Cass and Bobs in, yeah but Jimmy: just wake me up in time Jimmy: not like when you made us miss our stop Janis: Holding that against me like you didn't love it okay Janis: don't think Igs is gonna drive 'round Dublin all day, it's good Jimmy: shh Jimmy: I'm just enjoying this Janis: [Leans down to kiss him too] Jimmy: I really am Janis: 💕 Janis: Fucking nerd Jimmy: you Jimmy: I'm 😎 Janis: 😏 saw my snap then Jimmy: it was #art babe Jimmy: loved it Janis: Only 'cos I made you look good, bighead Janis: 👀 you Jimmy: keeping up your part of the deal & then some Jimmy: [is clearly falling asleep though] Janis: You know it, babe Jimmy: 👍