#a fucking LIST of all the things that she normally orders from places like Starbucks or McDonald’s or whatever

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ TWO COFFEES ❜

✨ REQUEST: Oh can I have a Nestor imagine where Miguel ends setting the pair of you up??? 💜♥️💜♥️💜

✨ MADE BY ANON.

Gif credits: to the author.

WORDS: about 1.6k.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤ — this work also includes sentences in Spanish, as reader can speak it.

❚❙ NESTOR OCETEVA MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

“Two coffees, please”.

You were with your back to him when you heard his husky voice and a soft latin tone in it. You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow with some kind of confusion at his order. Who comes to a Starbucks just asking for two coffees? Turning at the man with your lips pressed in a funny smile, you took a second to look at him behind the counter.

He is familiar to you. You know him from somewhere.

His black braids were the first thing that caught your attention, before focusing on the red and black shirt under the jacket of his suit. His hands were hidden inside the pockets of his pants, but you noticed his nervousness in the way he had closed them in two fists.

“Normal or decaf? With or without milk? Normal milk? Lactose-free? Soya milk? Almond milk? With sugar, saccharine, or mocca? With or without cream? Do you want it hot or do you want it iced?”

“Normal, no milk, no sweetener, no cream, no ice. Just two coffees”.

You were about to laugh until you heard him talking again. A tone more firm letting you know that he wasn't in the mood for jokes. You could see him gulping a little ashamed when you changed the gesture in your face, but you didn't say anything else. The order was easy and ready in less than one minute. Closing the cups and offering him, you tried to show him another gentle smile but you couldn't. Offering you ten dollars, you waved a hand between the both of you.

“It's on me… Sir”. You told him, an instant before he threw the money inside the tips jar.

Watching him leaving the cafeteria made you feel strangely bad, not knowing exactly why. Sighing as the black car, parked in front of your workplace, disappeared from your field of vision in a jiffy. You hadn't seen that man before, but you wouldn't mind seeing him again. To apologize for being so stupid, of course.

—— NESTOR POV ——

“I fucked up”.

“Yeah, we all have seen the face of that poor girl. I bet you scared her”. Miguel laughed in the back seat of his car, taking a sip from the coffee.

“What the fuck you told him, man?” Vargas stopped the vehicle at a red light, turning at his boss.

“I asked for two coffees, and she started to… give me a lot of options, like milk and sugar and I just got nervous”.

“You? Nervous?” Miguel leaned forward, placing his forearms in both seats, sticking his head out of the gap between both. “The fearless Nestor Oceteva feeling nervous?”

“Fuck off, Mickey! I've been trying to talk with her for a week”.

“Yeah, and you scared her. Did you forget you only had to scare people while you're working?” The other man raised his eyebrows, making his boss laugh behind them.

When the night came and the cafeteria had emptied of customers, you turned off most of the lights inside and locked the main door, to count the cash and write it down in the account book. Playing some soft music on your phone, you took off the green cap and the apron of the same color. It was a long day and all you can think about was in that mystery man with two braids, and who made you feel frustrated for some reason. It wasn't like you wanted to make him smile or to know his name, or maybe get his phone number. Of course not.

Knocks on the crystal door claimed your attention, turning your head towards it and interrupting your task. Gulping nervously finding two suited men with his hands tangled in a big fist, respectively, under their abdomens, you stepped out from behind the counter to lead your feet to their position.

“Are you alone?” One of them asked without any doubt in his words.

Simply nodding, the other man walked to the car parked behind them. Then, you watched Miguel Galindo coming out from it. And now, you were fucked. Of course, you knew the man who came that morning. Licking your lips, freaking out, you unlocked the door to let him walk in.

“Buenas noches”.

“Buenas noches, se—señor Galindo”.

“Are you occupied? May I come in?”

With your heart racing, you gave him enough space to pass you away to the inside.

“I'm sorry if… he tho—thought I was making… fun of him. I didn't me—mean to be disrespectful”.

Your hands were sweating, rubbing one against the other behind your back. Barely breathing. Praying anything you knew.

“Tranquila, it's okay. Do you think I came to… make you something?” His calm attitude gave you shivers. The kind of ones that put your body to tremble. The laugh that echoed all around the empty cafeteria provoked your nausea. “The truth is… you like him. He has been some days trying to encourage himself to ask you out, but my brother is a little dumb”.

Tilting your head with confusion, just like a dog would do, you narrowed your eyes not sure if he was being serious or he was teasing you to have some fun.

“I do—”.

Miguel raised a forefinger to stop you, as soon as his phone rang inside his jacket. Grabbing it from the pocket and reading the name on the screen, he answered the call with the speaker on.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Mickey? Emily just told me you went for two coffees. The fuck you have? Five fucking years old? Leave the waitress in pace!”

Feeling like shit, you bowed down your head because of his words, recognizing the voice at the instant. The man in front of you watched the gesture frowning his brow.

“Nestor, the speaker is on”.

Pi, pi, pi. He had hung up.

“List—”.

“Can you, please, leave? I think you have had enough fun. And you should be ashamed of using your position to do this kind of bullshit to someone humble, who only wants to live her life without being a target to your free time”. Trying to be polite, you pointed at the door with a hand.

“No, no, lis—”.

“If you don't leave right now, sir, I'm calling the cops”. You ruled, taking a step forward with your eyes glued to him, about to cry because of rage. The rage that helped you to lose any fears about confronting the dangerous Miguel Galindo.

In silence, he nodded only one time, turning around to leave the cafeteria. After locking the door, you let the tears fill up your eyes and run down your cheeks. Needing a little break before finishing your work and going home.

A few days have passed since then, not being able to stop thinking about it and why you. Why they decided to play that prank. It wasn't funny. At least, it wasn't funny for you. But you were sure that, later, they commented it and laughed about your gestures. Turning the filter holder of the professional coffee maker, to fit it into the gear, you can't help but look through the reflection on it over your shoulder. Your heart jumps when you find Nestor bent over the counter with both forearms, waiting to be attended to.

“What would you like, sir?” The question comes out from your mouth with a cold tone of voice, not even looking at his eyes, ready to take his order in the TPV.

“Two coffees”. He replies trying to not show any kind of emotion, taking off the sunglasses covering his dark eyes. “One like… just coffee. And another of your choice”.

Filling up the cups with the drink and securing them with the covers, you put them over the counter to grab back the money and give him the change. Holding one with his right hand, the man offers you the other with his left.

“Do you have a moment?”

“No”.

“Por favor”.

“I said no”.

“I'm going to stay here, till you say yes”. The smile curving his mouth, showing you two perfect rows of teeth, convinces you somehow.

Rolling your eyes and tapping your co-worker's shoulder, you make him a gesture to cover you to take a short break. Nestor follows you then to the back alley, not saying a word but trying to prepare a monologue to apologize. Stopping your track and facing him, having a sip from your coffee, you wave your hand waiting for something.

“I told him to not do it”.

“So… was it a bet, or what? Were you bored and thought that could be fun making me feel stupid and ashamed?”

“None of that”. His jaw tensing calls your attention, bowing his eyes to the drink between his hands. “I really wanted to ask you out, but I wasn't sure if you were going to accept. I was nervous and… Miguel thought that he could help me”.

“He didn't”.

“I know”.

“And you, shouting through the phone, either”.

“Yeah, lo siento por eso”. Looking at your eyes again, with regret, he keeps his free hand in a pocket. “If you don't want to hang out with me, it's okay. I came to apologize for what happened”.

“Thank you”. You just whisper.

He tilts his head, pressing his lips and forcing a smile. Nestor waits one second, hoping that you add something else like you would like to have a date, but you don't talk again. Giving up, he nods turning around disappointed, walking out of the alley.

But actually, you're just making him suffer a little. It's called payback.

“I'm free tomorrow night”.

With a brow raised, the man turns around, facing you some steps away.

“We can meet at Jin's chinese restaurant. At seven”.

His smile appears again, infecting you with the same gesture.

“I'll be there at six”.

“Why?” You chuckle, not understanding him.

“To not make you wait”.

“Todo un caballero…”

[boop-le-snoot]

skin starving

tony stark x f!reader fluff. no warnings, just a few f-bombs. touch starved tony’s third person pov. words: 2,5k. no beta because i just really needed to get this off my chest.

recommended music to go with the story: two feet - 'love is a bitch' & 'quick musical doodles'. Or any lo-fi hip-hop radio really.

It started as an itch. At first, a small but bothersome thing, that kept him up at night, steering the already unreasonable hours of wakefulness into dangerous territory. The cold of his bed was unappealing and more often than not, he’d started passing out on the flat surfaces nearest to him: workshop, lab, common room couch, the lazy boy in Bruce’s apartment.

The team noticed, of course, they weren’t blind. They all had been on edge the first few months after Pepper left him. They expected him to act out, lock himself up in his lab or go back to his old habits of boozing and bringing home a different girl every night. And he had tried that, once or twice, but airheaded twenty-somethings weren’t appealing anymore. Most of the time their ass kissing and blatantly flattery annoyed him further into self-loathing abyss. He simply couldn’t step up to be the kind of man they described him to be - it seemed as if every woman on planet Earth had a whole list of expectations he specifically could not meet.

With Thor off planet, not one remaining person on the team was particularly touchy-feely. And that was the thing with Tony Stark: as an engineer, as a mechanic, he made his way through the world hands-first, every approach he had was hands-on. During late nights and early mornings, he laid in bed, sleepless and dreamless, desperately refusing to admit his own touch starvation.

Whenever Rogers threw an arm around his shoulders during a particularly successful team bonding activity, it took every ounce of willpower Tony had to not lean into it and purr like a cat. He hadn’t truly forgiven Steve for his cold, cruel words of criticism shortly after Pepper’s departing. He wasn’t going to chummy up to a man who thought him selfish, opportunistic and self-absorbed.

Tony became irritable and withdrawn. He simultaneously craved and avoided even the casual, friendlier attention his teammates gave him on a daily basis. His usual snark became that much more biting, having caused several people to storm out of team meetings.

On a cold autumn morning, Tony had found his way at the tower’s Starbucks on the employee floor. He had squeezed a generous five hours of restless sleep and he was sick of the plain black coffee in his kitchen. A spontaneous desire for something sweet and creamy and caffeinated led him to the place in line at the cafeteria, only a few early birds ahead of him.

Tony’s brain was hazy as it had been past few weeks, dull from the lack of rest and the hyperfixation of his own skin feeling alien to him. For once, he wasn’t typing away on his StarkPhone as he usually did to avoid being bothered; Tony stared straight ahead, unseeing, nothing but white noise in his usually racing brain.

Two women stood in front of him and he couldn’t help but overhear a part of their conversation.

“… Are you really horny or just lonely or touch-starved, though? I mean, Tinder? It’s not really your style.”

“Eh, I dunno. Probably the second but it’s not like men go on Tinder to find a cuddle buddy.”

“Well, maybe? I’ve heard about arrangements like that.”

“No offense, babe, but it’s probably kids in their early twenties. Those gen-z’s, babe, are weird. I’m not really up to date on all of that.”

The topic of the conversation was what piqued Tony’s interest; the world liked rubbing salt into his wounds and hysterically laugh at his misfortune. Bleary-eyed, he briefly scanned the two women: both appeared to be interns or junior techs in his company, evident by the purple employee badges hanging from their bags.

“So what are you going to do?” One woman asked the other as their turn to order took Tony one step closer to obtaining his desired caffeine.

“Unless someone normal magically appears with an offer of no-strings-attached, good ole’ snuggle fest, I guess I’m getting dicked down on Saturday,” The other replied with a teasing tone. The lack of excitement in the last part of the sentence was obvious.

“Gross,” The first one shook her head and hurriedly rattled off her order to the barista who looked about as disgruntled as Tony felt.

Hours and three coffees later, Tony’s overactive brain was still stuck on that woman from the cafeteria. Her back, her purse stuffed full of colorful manila folders, her neatly gathered hair - Tony Stark had nearly perfect memory and he remembered every single detail despite his brain fog. Objectively, she was attractive, no more no less than a different dozen of women he’d seen at any point in his life before. So why was he hung up on her?

It didn’t take him a long time to find her file, faster than he’d liked to admit. Manually sorting through hundreds of interns, lab technicians and various second-tier employees wasn’t exactly considered productive but with Pepper and her nagging out of the picture, Tony could afford to slack off a little bit.

So he found her name and her e-mail address, skimmed over her performance report with satisfaction, finding her to be a busy bee in the 90-th percentile. Her superiors considered her trustworthy, hard-working and communicative, all good traits.

Pepper’s absence meant he’d have no one to cover his ass should he get slapped with a harassment suit; however, he was the Tony Stark after all. He had more money that he’d cared to count and an army of lawyers at his disposal 24/7.

Amidst the jumbled mess of wires, circuit boards, tablets, empty coffee cups and the occasional piece of paper, Tony typed up an e-mail to the woman sharing his… Condition.

“I heard you and your friend talking at Starbucks. I could use a cuddle buddy. Wine and Netflix at my place? What’s your takeout preference?”

No. That came off way too creepy, like he was some kind of a dirty eavesdropper.

He contemplated some more, typing up and erasing multiple e-mails with various proposals: his penthouse, her place, a three Michelin star restaurant, a walk in the park. Almost all of it screamed ‘date’, like he’d drag her off to bed the very moment an opportunity wouldn’t present itself. It wasn’t so: Tony Stark, the playboy genius, had his dick firmly tucked into his pants. The thought of fucking her crossed his mind only briefly, quickly being chased away by the thought of her fingers running through his hair. Her warm, soft body in his arms. Just laying on his couch, eyes closed, reveling in each other’s arms.

Tony hit send on the least obnoxious option. He baited his breath, clicking his fingers in anticipation as the message showed itself to having been delivered.

“Mary, is this you trying to be funny? Stark is going to fire you if he finds out you’re impersonating him to stop your friend from going on a questionable date. Grow up.” Came the very prompt reply, ending with a short string of angry emojis. Tony could totally trust a person who used emojis unironically and generously.

“For the record, I wouldn’t be mad if somebody pretended to be me for the sake of saving their cute friend from a creep. The problem would be making it look credible.” Tony typed up the answer without thinking, quickly snapping a picture of himself holding the Starbucks cup with his name written on it, throwing his usual sloppy peace sign. He attached it to the email and hit send.

“WTF” Came the reply not a minute afterwards. He let it sink in, giving the woman some time to gather her wits. She did not disappoint. “Okay, even if we pretend this is real - which I doubt - what’s in it for you? If you heard our conversation, you surely know my stance on the matter.”

“I’m always glad to prove you wrong. I’m a genius - comes with the territory.” Tony simply couldn’t resist adding a generous dose of snark. “You’re welcome to meet me after clocking out. Use the private elevator, my AI will beam you up.”

The reply took a considerably long amount of time, seeing as previously, she typed back rather quickly. “Please don’t be a creepy rapist, Scotty. Fingers crossed.” Tony managed to almost break his stylus twice. His hands shook, and he had to tell himself to breathe - still, he laughed at the clever way she replied.

Several more hours later, during which Tony had nearly paced a hole through various floors on the residential side of the tower, he took a quick shower, dressed in a flattering but comfortable designer sweatpants and polo combo and made himself at home on the obscenely large living room sofa on his own, private penthouse floor.

He was up and running towards the elevator when Friday’s voice notified him of the woman entering the elevator on the employee floor. Tony tousled his hair, adjusted his glasses, fiddled with the drawstring of his pants.

The woman was wearing casual office wear, pants and a loose blouse, a lab coat loosely draped over her arm and her purse hanging off the shoulder on a thin strap. Her hair was loose now, a little frizzy as if she continuously ran her hands through it. Tony quietly rejoiced at not being the only nervous one.

Clever eyes scanned the room with unhurried interest before finally landing on him. “Not too shabby, if I say so myself,” The corners of her mouth tilted in an attempt at a smile, it was obvious she was studying him.

“Thanks, I try my best,” Tony smirked. Humble he was not. “So, how do you want to do this?”

“I see a comfortable couch,” She looked to be grateful for being given the opportunity to lead this interaction. “Let’s park our behinds on it, bicker for ten minutes about a movie choice and settle on one none of us really like. Then we can tell each other our no-no zones and, well, yeah,” She started out confidently. Probably practiced in the elevator. But towards the end, her shyness took over.

For Tony, it was kind of cute. A nice change from suck-ups that flocked him at every social gathering in hopes of getting something out of him. The woman that had tossed her bag carelessly on the far end of the couch and untucked her blouse looked and felt like the exact opposite of those people. She looked willing to give.

Tony sat next to her, keeping a couple of inches of free space between them. “Food preferences? Food allergies?” He asked, tapping the food delivery application.

“Nope, and I will eat just about anything.” He felt more than saw her side-eyeing him. Both of them were jittery. So uncharacteristic for Tony, to be blushing and stammering like a high school boy. Sex was easy, but intimacy? Complex. It was addictive and eventually, painful.

Movie decisions were surprisingly easy and she said so. They settled on a Tarantino classic, an old flick neither of them had watched in a long time. As the discussion progressed, Tony used his wits to find out more about her without making it seem like an interrogation. He had run a background check on the woman and her family but those only went that far, besides, it was a great opportunity to practice the tips Natasha had shared with him at one point or another. Being friends with spies had it’s perks.

They ate their food until their bellies were full. A comfortable, relaxing stupor, being warm from the inside out.

Tony noticed when the woman spoke, she spoke with her hands. She had caught herself grasping his forearm multiple times when they’d got more passionate about their discussion. And what Tony loved the most was that she refused to apologize. He saw a kindred soul in the woman; quiet until something struck her fancy. Then, she became a whirlwind of ideas and opinions.

In no time, it became a natural action to extend his arm and wrap it around her shoulders, reclining backwards. There was little grace in laying belly-up like a dead fish but the woman didn’t seem to mind. Watching him out of the corner of her eye, she laid down sideways, throwing a leg over one of his own.

Her palm traced the outline of his arc reactor when something on the screen caught her in a moment of intense interest. Tony preferred to avoid the cursed thing - scars around it definitely did not do any favour to his aging, marked body - but he found himself exhaling the tension when it was obvious the woman really did not care. An occasional quiet hum of satisfaction was the only noise that came from her: he noticed the sound escaped her lips every time his thumb began fiddling with the sleeve of her blouse and rubbed against her arm.

He was quite content. It was warm, he was surrounded by so much warmth.

The hug was mutual when she left home, both of them comfortable with the gesture for people who had met in a rather unconventional way.

She started coming over a couple of times a week, a quiet evening of the best takeout in NYC and (mostly) interesting movies. A solace, always a single e-mail away.

Tony saw her in the cafeteria once or twice; he appreciated the brief, tiny secretive grin she gave him out of her friend’s eyesight. She never approached him. He was grateful for that. He didn’t want to deal with all the drama and all the fuss surrounding incidents between him and his employees. It was nobody’s business what any of them did after clocking out - and him and his cuddle buddy, they weren’t even fucking, for Thor’s sake.

Maybe they would get there someday. Or maybe they won’t. It was only now for Tony. The rare free Saturday night he had, he truly took a vacation from all the bullshit and lured her in with promises of very expensive wine, her favourite New York style pizza and the willingness to entertain watching a few of those funny YouTube videos she liked.

They did watch them and Tony didn’t mind. He stepped over the irrational fear and the initial discomfort and curled up around her, hiding his face in the soft cotton of her worn hoodie, his own breath tickling his face in warm puffs. The hand running through his hair was tender like it never was with Pepper - his ex was far too preoccupied to baby her grown-up boyfriend. But the woman moulded to his body like an extension of himself was happy to do so. Tony’s hair was longer now and it glided perfectly along the woman’s palms.

His heart was steady, thumping in his ears, overshadowing the noises coming from the TV. He exhaled and felt her other hand begin tracing circles on his back, as if she saw the stress and the bitterness leave his body with every caress, every brush of their bodies. Maybe she did?

He held onto her, held her back like she’d held him. Safekeeping the warmth inside of him. Guarding his peace.

[abiteofnat]

If you’re reading this, I’m coming back to Chicago, beetch

The non-existent rumors are true. After a brief 10-month exit from the city to soak up the fresh air and social distance-friendly suburbs, I am now returning to Chicago as a single, slightly more anxious version of myself. While I’m still trying to kick some of the anxiety and OCD that COVID-19 pushed from “lifelong tagalongs” to “all-controlling demons”, I feel 97% ready to be back where I feel most myself, and cannot wait to welcome that change. While that 3% still makes me a little uncomfy and hesitant, I’m a believer in pushing your boundaries to allow yourself to grow, and also, I am really sick of suburbs food. 

Ha! I joke. I wouldn’t move downtown simply for access to more diverse & higher quality food... or would I? All I know is while there are plenty of gems in the North Shore, I’ve eaten take out from all of them ten times over, and I did not foster my dislike of cooking out of nowhere. My parents do not enjoy cooking, my sister pretends to enjoy cooking, and I will cook if it is 5 ingredients or less. My latest speciality is a toasted bagel with butter, hummus, and EBTB seasoning. Voila. So when it comes to dinner, we are living off of a carousel of suburban favorites, and are losing steam as we are still not comfortable with dining inside (or dining inside in the city, where the fun food is). 

All of this to say, it’s exciting to imagine what life is going to be like in a few short weeks. While I’m still extra precautionary, I can’t wait to have my own space downtown, where I can enjoy coffee on my little balcony (!!!) and dream of the days friends can come squeeze into my studio safely while I lay out an entire table of sharable spreads and snacks from Ema (Charred Eggplant Spread is the best one, don’t fight me). 

So you may ask, how did you come to this decision to move to the heart of downtown out of seemingly nowhere, you hermit? 

It starts with my mom and I having a brief, simultaneous breakdown and coming to the conclusion that we would both feel comfortable doing a staycation downtown, as long as we wore masks, sanitized always, and braved the cold to eat outside. This was big for me! As a person with real OCD, not cute TV show “I have to keep my pens straight” OCD, this would be the most exposure I’d had to a lot of uncontrollable variables since the pandemic started. If you’re thinking, “you get to spend a weekend downtown in a hotel with your mom, shut up”, know that I hear you. I am unbelievably grateful that I’ve gotten this time with my parents, and that we can do a staycation. However, having anxiety comes at a cost, and that cost is blowing everything way the fuck out of proportion instead of being able to rationalize it sometimes. Let’s! Normalize! Having! This! Discussion!

So, we went downtown in early March for a two-night stay, and oh my goodness. The realization that we got to be in a different space, and do different things, and eat different food for a weekend made it feel like a legit vacation, and not like we drove 30 minutes to get there. The view from our room was of Michigan Ave, and hearing the traffic and seeing the people out and about instantly made me feel a sense of peace I wasn’t expecting. I’ve lived downtown for 6 years, but it always shocks me how much the city feels like an extension of me once I’m in it after being away. My mom and I went out for a walk (gentle yet forceful reminder to please wear a mask), then decided to grab dinner while we were out. The plan was to bring it back to the room, but there was a warm spell, and there just happened to be a table for two at Topolobampo on Clark, and suddenly we were sitting on the patio under the lights eating masa quesadillas dipped in a spicy salsa verde. It just happened!!! 

Before getting downtown, I was tentatively looking at apartments for the spring. I was looking at Lincoln Park, Old Town, maybe Lakeview, and came across a listing in the Gold Cost that caught my eye. That one was swiped out from under me within days, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the area. Then I discovered another unit that was available, and couldn’t shake it from my mind. Over mushroom tacos I discussed it with my mom, and we decided to go see it. Totally not what I had been planning for in terms of location, but why not? 

Once we polished off breakfast the next morning (Eggs Benedict with fried eggs, extra hollandaise) we headed out to see the place. Let me say I have never seen my mom fall in love with a single apartment I’ve lived in, and she was ALL. FOR. IT. Unreal reaction on her part. Once I saw the west-facing views and the incredible natural lighting, I was 100% in as well.

We spent the rest of the weekend wandering the downtown area, enjoying another dinner outside at The Gwen and my mom’s first visit to the Starbucks Reserve Roastery, which was 95% more empty than I’ve ever seen it given we went in a pandemic at 8:30PM. Shit on Starbucks all you want, but that Roastery is an incredible use of space (in non-pandemic times) and the coffee & Princi pastries are really, really good. 

When we got back home feeling refreshed and like we had actually gone on a vacation, I jumped into apartment shark mode real fast and signed as many documents as the very kind realtor could send over. One week later, whabaam, I was a Gold Coast girl. Ahem, *lady*. What better way to celebrate than going to Somerset and having the Rapini & Roasted Garlic Flatbread and Wild Mushroom Risotto? No clue. As I sat outside, yet again with my mom, I felt a wave of excitement come over me and realized, this is it. This is the sign and feeling I’ve been waiting for, telling me it’s time to move back to the city and start over. The creamy, herbacious risotto also helped solidify that. 

SO. After all of that, the news is I’m moving, and you’re probably wondering why I shared all of this on a blog about food. I meant for this post to be about everywhere I ate during my staycation, but realized quickly we ate at some very basic places - DELICIOUS, but still basic. Oops. Below are all the dishes I had and a rundown of the flavors, textures, etc., however don’t expect to find any new, revolutionary restaurants. Sorry! 

1. Topolobampo 

This Rick Bayless restaurant has been around forever, and unfortunately, you can tell by the interior. We’ve eaten here as a family a couple of times before, but never had a noteworthy experience. I can confirm that in a pinch, the patio covered in fun lights & mini piñatas, and the sharable, filling bites will do just fine. This was my first time going to a Mexican restaurant as a non-alcohol drinker, and instead of my typical mezcal margarita, I opted for a Fresh Limeaide which was refreshing and flavorful. We split the Guacamole and Chips, which if you’ve ever stopped at the Frontera in O’Hare, you know is good as fuck. It’s smooth, creamy, tangy, and topped with chopped onions and cilantro for a little crunch. It’s not the most life-changing, but it is consistently satisfying. Next, we got the Mushroom Tacos and Masa Quesadillas. The Masa Quesadillas were a fun surprise, as instead of a tortilla, the masa is what makes up the outside. They are almost like empanadas and stuffed with gooey, melty cheese, and come with a spicy salsa verde on the side. I would come back for these alone - they’re rich yet light, warm, and comforting, all the things you would want when dining outside when it’s still a little chilly. The Mushroom Tacos were quite frankly unreal, because whatever they seasoned the mushroom slices with and grilled them on made them taste unlike any mushroom I’ve had before. There was definitely some meat crossover on the grill, so don’t order those if you’re vegan, or ask them to prepare the mushroom separately. I however was LOSING MY MIND. Over mushrooms. The joys of being vegetarian! 

2. The Gwen

On a happening Saturday night in Chicago, Upstairs at The Gwen is sure to be a packed scene. Located in River North, this hotel bar/restaurant offers a somehow cozy rooftop filled with loungey couches, fire pits, and ambient lighting, even though you’re surrounded by apartments and skyscrapers and there is nothing “cozy” about River North. Every table was filled, yet since you’re outside and it’s fairy spread apart, it still felt safe. I got my new classic, a Lemonade, and we got the Burrata to start. With sourdough, roasted beets, squash, pomegranate, pistachio, & arugula, this plate was nothing short of mouth-watering. It has textures! It has flavors! It has pomegranate seeds, the TikTok must have of the moment! The bread was 10/10, the burrata was 8/10, and all of the toppings made for a very find bite of salad on their own. For my main I got the Lobster Fettucine, a beautiful bowl of “charcoal fettuccine with saffron-tomato sauce, lobster, calabrian chili butter, and basil-brioche crumbs” as listed on their website. Take any of those ingredients and it’s going to be delicious, but all of them TOGETHER? INCREDIBLE. The chunks of lobster were huge, absolutely making the dish worth its price tag, and the sauce was flavorful, unique, and unlike any sauce I’ve tasted in the last few years. It’s typical to do a squid ink pasta with seafood and tomato sauce, but the saffron added a new element I very much appreciated. 

3. The Starbucks Roastery 

I KNOW. THIS IS A TOURIST DESTINATION. All I am saying is if there’s no line, go get an iced latte with two packets of sugar in the raw. That’s all. It’s really good after something like, I don’t know, Lobster Fettucine. 

4. The Penninsula 

You cannot go wrong with hitting up The Penninsula for breakfast or brunch, especially if you are staying there and have the option to do room service. Typically we would go to Pierrot Gourmet, the cafe in the ground floor of The Penninsula, however it has been closed temporarily. If there’s one thing to order with your breakfast, it’s the smashed fingerling potatoes. Delish. 

5. Somerset 

Somerset is becoming a quick go-to of mine for an impromptu dinner downtown, given it’s in the heart of Gold Coast and is cute if you’re sitting indoors or outdoors. The food is nothing too innovative, but it is done well, which is the most important part with “cuter” restaurants that may focus on the Instagram appeal over the food sometimes. Each time I’ve gone I’ve gotten the seasonal flatbread and a pasta or risotto, usually something with mushrooms, and it’s always been plate-licking good. To drink, I got -you guessed it- a Lemonade! For dinner I went with the Wild Mushroom Risotto which was everything you could hope for in a risotto, topped with olive oil, herbs, and local parmesan. We split the Rapini & Roasted Garlic Flatbread which was as it sounds, flatbread covered in rapini, garlic, and ricotta, which added a nice crunch and had enough rapini to feel like it was replacing a boring vegetable side dish or salad. The patio vibes were wonderful, the judgemental girls in the greenhouses looked like they were having a good time, and our waiter couldn’t have been sweeter. I will be going back to try the Fontina Arancini, which I just noticed on the menu. FRICK. 

So there you have it, a very long-winded explanation of the last few weeks of my life and where you can find me on a staycation in Chicago. Hopefully once I move back to the city I’ll have endless new spots to try and won’t be basic anymore! 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie 

[excorcismic]

uhm . . . cheesed to meet you ?? - HI GANG !! what’s up , i’m hylia and i . . . love . misa and death note with my entire heart . I KNOW FOR A FACT i will probably pick up more characters along the way but i couldn’t have picked a better one to start out with !! i have experience writing both misa & light - i actually am more experienced writing light than misa , but i still have a lot of experience with her under my belt !! i’m currently writing him in another group and when i saw duality i just HAD to write her here - i’m so excited to plot w/ y’all !! so lemme tell you the basic facts & some connections and ideas i have under the cut c: ( this got long i’m so sorry )

ooooooooooooo you wanna plot with misa so bad oooooooo - AHEM . so . 

IF YOU ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH DEATH NOTE / MISA : death note is a manga / anime revolving around a smart young man ( light yagami ) who discovers a supernatural notebook who can take the life of any human as long as the writer knows their name & face . light uses this book to essentially try and purge the world of evil , earning the alias ‘kira’ ( who gains a following ) , and misa , who acquires a death note of her own , seeks him out as the second kira . she possesses things that he doesn’t , so essentially she becomes his partner in crime - she , falling in love with him ( or more so the idea of him she created for herself ) , and he , entertaining her fantasies in exchange for her abilities and assistance . it’s . . . way more complicated in detail and honestly pretty sad but that’s the getgo . she’s a pretty girl with a very powerful notebook and she likes a guy with a powerful notebook that sees her more as a tool he can use to further his plans . OH OH OH and also she has a protective monster lady who’s in love with her and looking after her and threatening to clap light if he hurts misa in any way . 

death note . . . is a story about how people who were good can become awful towards other people and themselves if you give them a bit of power . 

BUT ANYWAY . misa actually has a much happier life here than in death note !! it’s . . . still kinda eh in some places but overall much better since that godforsaken notebook doesn’t exist and isn't here to screw anyone's lives up .

she's a former child actor, now a musician in a pop punk band called 'your friends & the skeletons!!' but as of rn with her taking a break from big performances and touring she's just a streamer operatin' out of alucard and trying to entertain herself since sometimes the world gets a little too big for her and she needs to take a step back.

it’s a pretty cute life & that’s the rundown !! of course , it’ll be more detailed and developed in my intro for her , but that being said - CONNECTIONS .

OHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT OUT THESE WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS WITH ME SO BAD OOOOOOHHH AND OHHHH YOU WANNA LIKE THIS POST FOR ME TO DM YOU FOR PLOTTING SO BAD OHHHHHHHHH

okay so obviously some band mates !! YF&TS i imagine is a four-piece with misa on rhythm guitar & vocals , then lead guitar , bass , and drums . i imagine they’re all friends with misa , but maybe one person has been friends with misa since like . . . forever . and has seen her go through literally everything .

so , misa lives alone . maybe i’ll have her look for a roommate along the way but as for right now , even though she lives by herself ( and honestly is a lil lonely ) , i really like the idea that maybe she’s the helper neighbor that wants to befriend everyone that lives on her floor , runs to get groceries , always visits and checks in on people , etc . !! so neighbor friends pretty please !!

obviously if u wanna make ppl be fans of misa & her band that is a-okay with me just pls keep in mind they’re kinda big but not . . . big big . like they’ve got some dedicated fans but not full on stans y’know

SO  . . . folds hands . i kinda like the idea that misa hasn’t been through that many serious relationships ( always gets her heart broken through them ) but maybe there was that one serious ex-partner she had and they broke it off for whatever reason . it’d have to be when she was 18-20 and they’d be together for maybe about two or three years before her career takes off and stuff and yeah it’d be the saaaad relationship that fizzled out even tho it was serious for a bit

also some not so serious/long relationships where misa got her heart broken !! fun times !! misa throws her full heart into things way too easily so this could’ve happened in many different ways . flings ?? check . short-term relationships ?? check . she wrote a letter for someone on a starbucks napkin asking them out and they rejected so whenever she comes into said starbucks she feels shy & awkward ordering something ?? check . ( we can have fun with this basically it’s ‘ misa tried it with y/m and it didn’t work out and she’s still lonely ’ )

friends please !! friends that misa’s made in alucard !! also friends with benefits maybe !! idk !! misa is a very friendly person she will be your friend if you say ‘hi’ in a positive tone towards her !!

oh i think it’d b rly funny if there was one person misa kept trying to befriend and they’re just rly stubborn abt it for some reason bc idk maybe they find misa annoying or something anyway give me sb who misa wants to be friendly with n they’re just No abt it for whatever reason

ONE OF THE THINGS I HAVE FOR MISA AS A STREAMER IS THAT SHE’S RLY INTO THE PARANORMAL AND RECORDS STUFF WITH IT SO PARANORMAL GHOST ADVENTURES PALS PLEASE !!

she’s also a gaming streamer so imagine she gets into a fight with sb behind a screen on a game and/or stream and then finds them in alucard like ‘oh fuck’ aka cyber enemies

also the exact opposite scenario with cyber friends aka misa makes a friend on a game and they meet each other irl and it’s cute !!

misa . . . is not a huge party girl but i imagine she has ppl that regularly invite her to parties and stuff so there’s that . but like . she only knows these people in context of partying - they’re her party friends and that’s it and her relationships with them are just kinda shallow .

i’d ALSO like a friend she makes that’s maybe a little more sheltered & naive to the world than she is so she just takes them to cool places and stuff !! shows them what it’s like to live on the ‘ wild side ’ !! whether it’s driving to a 24 hr gas station for candy and snacks in the middle of the night and staying out until sunrise just on the road or just sitting at misa’s apartment and watching true crime documentaries in their jammies . just sb misa’s gonna take like ‘ hey we’re gonna show u what LIVING is like ’

actual shipping . . . i would love to explore at a point but i wanna explore other things first so that’ll just be smth that comes up in development maybe !! i want misa to get a chance to experience what actual love is and explore the relationship aspect of it so i’m open to it but also i just wanna develop it n let it come naturally . filled !

ANYWAYS . i’m open to rly anything !! enemies ?? friends ?? frenemies ?? friends or enemies with benefits ?? unrequited crushes ?? exes ?? found family ?? party pals ?? streamer pals/enemies ?? LET’S PLOT IT OUT I’M SO EXCITED

sorry this is a long as hell list anyways let’s plot out some relationships even tho i’m bad at plotting and trust me the intro is. probs gonna be even longer. i am so sorry.

ANYWAYS ILY ALL IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE/PLOT W/ U GUYS

- - - - - - - - - - - POST-EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT EDIT : okay so this one is rly specific but , , , i rly would like if maybe misa had sb to go to the cirque du eradicus with ?? probably as a date !! a date that doesn’t have to amount to anything but they’re gonna b the one who witnesses misa go into the hall of mirrors n it’s gonna be kind of like a connection since they’re gonna have been together when that stuff happens and it could be rly fun to work with in the future . just gonna put the age limit for this one at 22 - 26 just bc gaps and all !! i think it could be cute if it goes well or interesting if it doesn’t but . yeah idk they can split off at some point for other threads bt ANYWAYS I JUST THINK IT’D B FUN filled !

also if anyone wants to bring me anyone from death note i will kiss u ESPECIALLY for light , l , rem , or matsuda . pls . maybe these characters can ACTUALLY get a normal fuckin’ life this time around - ( sometimes we just want to live in the yotsuba arc forever where everyone’s runnin around solvin mysteries and not scheming against each other - )

death note hits differently .

[melyaliz]

Remember me chapter 4

Master List

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x OC

Notes: If I was giving names to these chapters this chapter would be called “Love at first snark” 

Also the Starbucks scene was NOT inspired by the millions of times I was held up in line by that ONE person who takes their coffee way too seriously.

nope, not. 

 All words in bold are spoken in Japanese. Working with both languages is a bit tricky so I’m going to try to make this as smooth as possible. While I don't speak Japanese I love the idea of playing with words and idea of someone who can sort of speak a language and what that looks like 

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

DONATE or REQUEST

-0-0-0– Bakugou –0-0-0-

They had been in and out of the office for a few days now. After another wave of earthquakes, another group of heroes from Middle America had come to relieve the Japanese crew. So Bakugou and Kirishima were taking a few days off to rest and make their reports. There was also some press stuff as well but, like always, Kirishima was handling most of that.

He just got along better with people. Not that Bakugou really cared. He always believed his work spoke for him and didn’t need to stand around grinning like an idiot answering people’s questions about why he was so good. If they couldn’t see that they were fucking stupid.

So instead he had come back to the large glass building to file a few things and get some shit done before he went back to the hotel they were staying at.

But right now he was grabbing some coffee from the Starbucks in the lobby.

Or he would be if the fat bitch with nasty nails wouldn’t stop complaining about her drink. While his English was rusty he knew what that high pitched yappy voice meant in any language.

“Oh my god please, let’s hold up this line just a little longer you high maintenance bitch.”

Bakugou glanced in shock glancing at the girl next to him who was mumbling under her breath in Japanese. Dark brown hair pulled up in a high ponytail where her bright purple ombre was evident. She had literally just spoken the words in his brain as her eyes never left her phone.

“I’m sure she’s loving you leaning over the counter like that. How about you just grab an apron and make your fucking drink.” the girl continued her monologue in a language Bakugou realized she was using because she knew no one understood it.

Well no one but him.  

Letting out a soft chuckled and the young woman jumped slightly glancing over at him as if just realizing he was standing next to her. That was when he realized who she was. The girl from the insurance meeting.

“Oh shit sorry!” she said in English and then switched quickly “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”

“She’s insufferable,” he responded shrugging letting her know that he wasn’t offended.

“ Welcome to America, we take our Starbucks more seriously than our human decency.” the girl said, rolling her eyes a small smile playing on her lips showing she was joking. Sort of.

Bakugou smirked, he had never met a woman like her before. Normally the girls he was around were sweet and polite. If they had been caught speaking like that they would have been falling over themselves to act like they were sweet innocent women. Yet this girl just owned her attitude speaking her mind without any hint of reservation. He wasn’t sure if it was an American or her thing. What had she said her name was?  

“Grape?”

“That’s me! Oh, this looks amazing thank you so much!” the girl said very loudly while taking the drink, “You guys are the best here!” she added glancing at the woman as she punctuating her ‘best’. The woman didn’t respond, instead just taking her large whipped drink sipping it angrily. Winking at Bakugou the young woman waved goodbye. “Until we meet again Mr. Bakugou.” she added before disappearing down the hall toward the elevators. Bakugou watched her go.

She knew his name but he had a very strong feeling Grape was not hers.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Bakugou had showered, dressed, and been ready for 10 mins before Olive walked out in a cute blue dress, a denim jacket and the sneakers he had suggested. Bakugou instantly recognized the soft silver necklace she was wearing as one he had gotten her when she had first come to Japan as a welcome gift. The sight of it hanging from her neck laying just above the slightly deep V neck to the dress made his stomach drop as he stood talking a step toward her nodding.

“I cheated,” she blushed slightly shoving her hands into the pockets of the dress, “I looked at photos of outfits I had already worn.” Her playfulness reminded him so much of the old Olive that Bakugou had the urge to kiss her. The soft pink lipstick was so inviting. It took all his will power to pull away.

“Let’s go,” he said walking toward the door. At the sight of his owners dressed and walking toward the door, Dolemite let out a pitiful cry running toward them. “NO” Bakugo snapped at the fluffy cat pushing him away with his foot. “You are not coming.”

“Awww baby,” Olive cooed watching as Bakugou quickly pushed her out of the door while keeping the cat a bay. Once the door was closed she giggled looking up at her husband, “You’ve had some practice with that.”

“Yeah well, that shitty kitty never leaves your side.”

“I’m his Queen Bee.”

“Yeah basically.”

“Wait, you’ve have seen Dolemite? Oh god, did I show you that?” she asked her eyes getting side.

“Yes.” was his simple response.

“What else have I showed you?” she asked, glancing at him as they made their way out of the skyrise apartment complex.

“A lot. Not all good.”

This made Olive burst out laughing, “Did I make you watch Samurai Cop?”

“Yes”

“Miami connection?”

“Yes”

“Hard Ticket to Hawaii?”

“No.”

“Oh man I have failed as a wife,” she said, shaking her head sadly.

“You said I wouldn’t like it.” was his response glancing down at her as she looked around the city curiously.

“Past me was probably right. But it does have a snake in the toilet and belly button sex”

“I’ve heard.” she had told him all about the plot once over a bottle of wine during one of their early skype dates when she was still in the US. Acting out scenes, forgetting moments only to come back to them. He had just sat there no idea how to respond to this rendition but unable to really do anything about it except question his choice in women.

Olive giggled slightly and for a moment Bakugou saw it. Saw the old Olive. The one who would say something he only half understood only to have her laughing her head off. Or to see her dancing like a crazy person in the hallway to the music she could only hear in her headphones. She did silly things as if her life depended on seeing him smile. And that look she would get when he cracked a smile, it was one of his favorites.

“I’ve been to Japan before…” the words died before they even started as Olive realized what she was saying. Of course, she had been here before. She lived here.

“About two years before we met.” He said quickly knowing what she had wanted to say was a year before Eliott died but beating her to it. He was determined. Watching her laugh and joke again. He was going to get her back. He was going to become number one in her life again.

“Yes,”

“I should practice my Japanese”  Olive shifted the conversation quickly.

“Yeah you should, I can’t always be around to help you with that.”

“ Hello, I’m Olive.”

“What food do you want?” he asked, trying to keep the questions simple unsure where her level was.

“Whatever you're having,” she said, looking up at him smiling. Faltering a bit but she quickly continued tiring a few other simple statements and questions him responding to them. When she didn’t know a word she would say it in English and he gave her the translation helping her use the right pronunciation.

“ Ramen !” she squealed as they walked into the place. “I’m in love with ramen!”

“I love ramen.” Bakugou corrected. You’re in love with me.  

“I love ramen” she corrected herself. The owner waved at them telling them to go to their usual spot. As they sat down and the waiter came up excited to see her regulars and ask Olive about her latest book. Bakugou quickly told her that Olive wasn’t feeling good and didn’t want to talk tonight. The Waitress, while looking hurt, nodded taking his order before dashing off.

“What did you say to her?” Olive asked, leaning forward confused, “she looked upset.”

“She wanted to know about your latest book.”

“My what?”

“Your book.”

“I too would like to know what my latest book is about,” Olive said with her eyes wide, “Am I writing full time? I guess I’m not doing insurance anymore.”

“Yeah you quit when I proposed, you were making enough money off books anyway.” Bakugou shrugged, “I think you only did the insurance to get out of the house.”

“Yeah, I remember I was going to quit right before…” she paused biting her lip.

“You can say his name you know, '' Bakugou said, not making eye contact with her as he looked over a menu he knew by heart. “It’s not like I don’t know you were married before us.”

“It’s just awkward.”

“Get over it.”

Instead of getting offended, she chuckled at that nodding, “Ok fine I will, grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy, it’s just annoying that you are tiptoeing around me like I’m some fragile person.”

“True, you did blow up half a mall,” she remarked picking up her chopsticks rolling them in her fingers.

“That was the gunman, I saved a bunch of people. I’m a hero, remember.”

She nodded looking away for a moment taking in the restaurant, “We come here a lot don’t we.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why, the food's ok but you are obsessed with the Gyozo and their soy sauce.”

“Well if you hate it so much we don’t have to come,” she said playfully. He rolled his eyes at her dramatics. She always did that when he made fun of her for making him do stuff.

“I don’t hate it, there are just better places.”

“So, I write…” she said changing the subject, “and you're the number one hero.”

“In the world.”

“Wait really?”

“What is that supposed to mean? Why do you look so shocked!?!”

“I’m not shocked you are number one,” Olive said flushing slightly, “I’m actually shocked… you married me.”

“I wasn’t number one when we met.”

“Oh you were number 0.” she nodded knowingly as if there was only number 1 or number 0.  

“NO!” he said flushing slightly with annoyance. The journey to number one had been long and hard and Olive had been such a big part of it that he was annoyed she didn’t remember any of it. “There is no such thing as a 0”

That made her laugh, loud and hard, “I know that!” she said tears spilling from her eyes as she literally cried with laughter. Bakugou just watched her totally perplexed. It wasn’t uncommon for her to laugh like that. But after the few days they had, it felt like years. Although she was more laughing at him than with him and he wasn’t sure how to react.

“Well I don’t know how much you remember.” he shot back. Honestly, he had no idea why he had even said that. So caught up in their conversation he hadn’t been thinking. And now he just wanted to push the conversation away from poking fun at him.  

“True true,” she said, wiping away a few tears. “Man so Clare wasn’t joking about you being Christian Slater.”

“I don’t know why she keeps calling me that,” Bakugou said as the food was delivered to them. Grabbing some hot sauce he quickly added more spice to his food. Olive slowly dipped her spoon into the bowl taking a sip

“You kind of look like him,” she remarked pulling her brows together in a frown, “in the eyes.” she sighed as the warm flavor hit her taste buds. Katsuki was wrong, this was the best food she had ever had. “But I meant more like celebrity status. Although number 1 is more like being married to Brad Pitt or something.”

“Whatever, don’t get all star-struck over it,” he said, taking a bite of his noodles.

“I’ll try number 1”

The conversation lulled as they ate. Besides the ramen Bakugou let Olive eat most of the Gyoza. In return, she told him how he was wrong for hating on the ramen since it was a gift from the gods above.

“I don’t hate it! I just said that it’s not as good as other places.”

After eating their full and then some they made their way back to their apartment. For a moment Bakugou forgot about what had happened as they walked in blissful content. A comfortable silence stretching across them. Glancing over at his wife he couldn't’ help but admire how beautiful she was. Her dark hair was half pulled up so that the rainbow colors were promptly shown. The multi colors falling over her shoulders of her jean jacket that was covered in band patches from concerts that she had gone too. A few they had even attended together.

Absentmindedly he brushed his fingers over the one of Baby Metal. Olive had begged him for a month to take her. It wasn’t until she threatened to go with Kirishima instead that he finally screamed that she was HIS girlfriend and that shitty hair could go screw himself.

Kirishima had still ended up coming like he did for most of their dates and Olive had even been his wingman hooking him up with some cute girl who had been visiting from China.

“Everyone is getting some tonight!” she had sang in the Uber ride home as she watched Kirishima walk down the street with his arm slung over the girl’s shoulder.

“Oh really?” Bakugou had said leaning forward, kissing her glad to finally have her alone and all to himself.

“Yes,” she had said trying to get closer but being stopped by her seatbelt.

“Well just wait until we get back,” he said his voice low as his fingers ghosted over her thigh. A rush of excitement running through him as he noticed the trail of goosebumps that followed his touch. He loved being able to do that to her body. Get those reactions out of her.

He did that, only him. Just him.

She was all his.

“We’re here,” her voice broke through his thoughts and he stood there looking at the door like it was some sort of death sentence. He wanted to go back to the street. Where they were getting along. Where she wasn’t crying over someone else.

Where she was his again.

Slowly he opened the door letting her in. Dolemite running toward them crying his annoyance at them for leaving him all alone. He could have died without them there. How could they?

“Tst” Bakugou sighed, rolling his eyes as Olive cooed, stroking the cat. Standing up she turned to him with a wide smile on her face. Her real smile, the beautiful one.

“ I had fun, ” she said slowly forming the words as she spoke, “ Thank you Katsuki. ”

“Say it again,” he said, taking a step closer. “Say my name again,”

“Katsuki?” Olive took a slight step back as he stood over her. His warmth sent filling her senses as he looked down at her. Her heart was racing, not from fear, but not really lust either. Something strange and in the middle. As if her body was at war with her mind.

He closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the moment letting out a soft sigh. Then the spell was broken as he looked down at her. Her wide eyes looking up at him so unsure.

So foreign.

Kissing her forehead he pulled away, his body still only inches from hers “You’re welcome” he said his voice was so soft and warm it made her heart melt like hot lava flowing down her chest into her stomach. Olive was surprised at how she felt by a simple touch.

Her mind may have forgotten him but her body hadn’t.

-GET TAGGED!- 

 Master List 

Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm

[blog-sliverofjade]

Of Doms & Subs 5: Field Trip

Pairing: Angus Hopper x OFC

Summary:  What's a submissive female to do when she fights her nature and goes on the run as a Lone wolf to avoid being assimilated into a pack?

Word count: 1896

Of Doms & Subs Master List

“Don’t feel guilty, think of it as a bribe,” Mickayla said when she’d told me we were going shopping and I was to leave my wallet behind.  I stared at her.  “Think of trying out packs as like dating.  This is a date at a fine restaurant with a dozen roses,” she explained.  “And just like dates are a way for potential mates to prove they can provide, this is how we prove that we can take care of our members.”

“It sounds more like you’re looking for an excuse to go shopping,” I said dryly.  “But you’ll harass me until I give in, so ok.”

“You already know her so well,” Matt said with a hint of a smirk.  She elbowed him in the ribs and she only put up a token struggle when he wrapped her up in his arms.  I looked away.  The whole pack seemed to be much more touchy-feely than I was comfortable with.

“Meh, I’d go for another five minutes, tops, before I pulled the Dommy voice on you.”  She tossed her head so that Matt momentarily ended up with a face full of her hair.

“Dommy voice?”

“Dominant and mommy.  Dommy,” Matt explained, nuzzling his wife’s hair.

“Oh.”  I hid my blush by turning to shrug into my jacket.  Don’t ask if you don’t wanna know the answer.

The first stop was Pike Place Market, which was already packed despite the early hour.  Matt led the way to plow a path for us through the crowd with Mickayla following him so that all I could see was her curtain of golden hair and perky butt.  Shane was on my heels, but not so close that he was breathing down my neck.  None of the others had wanted to go shopping, preferring instead to play video games.  Some things stay the same no matter the species.

I normally treat shopping like I imagine Navy SEALs treat missions: get in, get target, and get out ASAP.  Mickayla obviously did not subscribe to this philosophy.  Most of the items we had acquired so far were for her.  I was too busy trying to ignore the din and overwhelming aromas invading my senses.  My wolf also wanted to snap at every stranger who bumped into us, which thankfully was only once or twice.  Most people took one look at my companions and steered a wide berth.

We were climbing a stairway that seemed to narrow even further and the low ceiling felt like it was pressing down on my head.  I swayed on the edge of the stair as the wolf surged up, tearing at me, wanting to run from the mass of consumers.  Pain rippled along my skin and burst like spikes in my joints until I nearly fell backward until Shane stepped forward until his firm chest allowed me to lean against him.  An instant later, Matt and Mickayla flanked me, forcing the flow of shoppers to part around the island that we made.

Normally I didn’t like people touching me.  Certainly not people I’d known less than a day and not so close as this.  But I relaxed into the warmth and comfort of their bodies.  Their combined scent surrounded me like a warm, familiar blanket.  No one said anything.  They didn’t have to.  Their eyes all had the same look of understanding.  My whole body felt raw.  If I had shifted in the middle of Pike’s Place on Labor Day weekend…

“Reason number four why packs are awesome: dominants can help when you’re about to lose it,” Mickayla said gently, having seen the panic on my face.  She slipped her arm through mine in what was becoming a familiar gesture.  “Let’s head some place a little quieter.”

The weather was a bit too grey and windy for anyone other than locals and werewolves, so we had the waterfront mostly to ourselves as we sipped hot drinks from the first Starbucks location.  The movement helped ease the need to run and calm my wolf.  After a while, Mickayla paused to check that a bench was dry before sitting and patting the spot next to her.  The men wandered a little way upwind, arguing about the game last night.

“Ok fine, you made your point,” I sighed and sank down next to her.  “What was it this time, how long I’d last before going furry?”

“Not on this one,” she shook her head and immediately had to pick strands of hair out of her mouth when the wind caught it.  “But that���s not the question you should be asking.”

I thought about that for a minute.  “What would’ve happened if ya’ll hadn’t been there.”  It was a statement, not a question.  She gave it time for the full implications of that sink in.

“You’re not used to having to rely on others.  Not since the divorce.”  I glared at her out of the corner of my eye.  I did not like being psychoanalyzed at the best of times.  This was certainly not one.

“Gee, doc, are ya gonna tell me that I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism, too?”

“If you’re so self-aware, pup, then why did we have to have this little exercise?”  She bumped my shoulder firmly with her own.

“Because you can tell a kid something’s hot, but won’t believe you till they touch it.”  I slumped down further on the bench.

“Head of the class,” she saluted me with her coffee.

“Don’t make me bite you” I grumped.

“Talk like that’ll earn you a spot as teacher’s pet,” she winked.  I groaned and shook my head at the pun before taking a sip of my drink.  It was something fancy, “full of sugar and cream and calories, everything a growing pup needs” as Mickayla had put it when she’d ordered.  Having a dominant around to step in and order was pretty nice when I was intimidated by the menu with its foreign terms and still too rattled to think straight.

“Speaking of petting.”  Mickayla laughed at the segue.  “John said that unmated females belong to the Alpha.”  That whole sentence tasted like rotten lemons, which fanned the embers of my dormant anger.  “Shit, is that the reason unmated females are second class citizens?  So we’re basically whores for the Alpha because we have no other choice?  If I won’t fuck Angus then I’m delivered to Eugene with a pretty bow?  Montana’s, what, a ‘re-education centre’ if I don’t put out?”

“Montana’s for new wolves, those who can’t control their wolf, and those who need to heal,” she said firmly.  “If you don’t want to move here or to Eugene, you can stay in Aspen Creek until you find a place and a pack you do like.  As for being second class citizens, it used to be that females couldn’t participate in dominance challenges and gained status through their mate.  While that seems to be slowly changing, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t be treated with respect.”

“Since I couldn’t care less about kicking butt and taking responsibility, I don’t have to worry about that, which is why I’m considered submissive in the first place,” I said with dawning comprehension.

“See, Ian was wrong, you can be taught!” Mickayla laughed with a wink.

“But what about the other… thing?”

“Wolves are very possessive,” she said slowly, as if having difficulty translating her thoughts into words.  “It’s supposed to be a way to protect the women, sometimes from unwanted attention from their packmates.  Some Alphas may take advantage of what’s meant to be a protective role, in much the same way some college professors tend to go after undergrads.”

“Are there many Alphas like that?”  I had a gut feeling that Angus was not like that, but then again, mama always said that my “picker” when it came to men was broken.

“Rape is not condoned, but since it’s not been a problem here, that’s something you would have to ask Angus, Matt, or Tom about if you’re thinking of going elsewhere.  Here, they have to answer to Angus.  If any of them so much as even make you uncomfortable he’ll have their balls in a sling because you don’t have a mate to protect you.  They all know that Matt would use their skull as a soup bowl if they so much as looked at me funny.”

Her scent had changed subtly with an almost salty quality that had nothing to do with the sea air.  She looked down with amusement at me as I sniffed her arm.  “You’re learning how to smell a lie!  About the soup bowl anyway, you don’t keep evidence lying around.  Good girl,” she said teasingly and petted my hair.  I mock growled without meeting her eyes.  She tapped my nose with a finger.  “Bad pup, no cookie.”  I straightened from my slouch with a laugh.  “Come on, let’s hit a couple of stores that’ll be quieter than tourist trap central.”

“Do I have to?” I asked tiredly.

“Sweetie,” she slung an arm around my shoulders.  “Your pants would be falling off if you didn’t have that belt tightened within an inch of its life.  I think you might have even managed to put a pleat or two in it like that, not a good look.  You need clothes that fit your new body.”  She plucked at my jacket, which tented around me before settling again.  I wasn’t necessarily fat before, but I certainly had carried more than a few extra pounds.  Two weeks in the backcountry had fixed that.  Oh, and becoming a werewolf helped, too.  I groaned in defeat and at the thought of more crowds.

Mickayla returned triumphant from the hunt, seemingly having gained the energy that the new wolf appeared to have lost.  Ellie quickly fled to her room with several large, bulging shopping bags.

“How went the great experiment?” I asked far more calmly than I felt.

“Took it like a champ, boss,” Shane answered while still untying his boots.  “Lasted ninety minutes.”

“I was ready to call it at an hour myself,” muttered Matt.  “Shrieking kids.”  We all winced in empathy.

“I’m thinking that John was doing his best to keep her isolated,” Mickayla frowned.

“Do you think he wanted her for a mate?”  My wolf paced in agitation.  He wanted to taste this John’s blood under our fangs.

“Not The Hills Have Eyes, but barefoot and not-pregnant in the kitchen…”  she grimaced.  I felt my eyes shift to gold then back as I struggled to convince my wolf that there was nothing here for us to rend.  “He told her about unmated females being under the protection of the Alpha, and led her to believe that it’s exploitive in nature,” she continued once I calmed.

“I see, thank you, Mickayla.”  I turned on my heel and retreated to my office to make a call.  Once the door was shut, it was virtually soundproofed against werewolves.  It’s good to be the king of tech.

“I’m afraid that I don’t have any news yet, Angus,” Bran said with faint amusement by way of greeting.

“I’m afraid that I do,” I said and conveyed Mickayla’s impressions of the situation.

“And you can’t question her directly without scaring her into running.”  I could readily picture him pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation.  “Thank you.  Keep me apprised.”

[hoshigomi]

Kurenai-ing! a (not) review~

This is NOT a review, but it IS all my thoughts on Kurenai Yuzuru’s first concert as an OG, Kurenai-ing!! in chronological order as they happened in the show. These thoughts are:

Biased

All over the place

Unfiltered

Honest

Every single one of them is loving and positive

Without further ado!

To start off, from the day this was announced, there was absolutely No Way In Hell I was going to miss this show. They found a way to cast all my favorite OGs, somehow including Uzuki Hayate who wasn’t even ever IN Hoshigumi, (save for Airi and Kai, F, but I see Kai like every day). Today was emotionally weird and I felt off heading to the theatre but honestly, before the lights even went down, when BENIKO began her preshow speech over the intercom? Any bad thing that’s ever been in my life just MELTED away.

The evening started off with “紅 in Male Role” which was just her as you’re used her her in otokoyaku mode. The whole cast got introduced. My love, Ichijou Azusa was the first onstage which rocked. Everyone did Killer Rouge. There was something REALLY sweet about seeing like a bunch of people who Were in Killer Rouge vs. a bunch of people who Weren’t In Killer Rouge all slaying it. Watching Toshi do this number made me daydream about a universe where she was in Hoshigumi and also a universe where I’m married to her. This daydream repeated itself multiple times throughout the evening so I’m gonna denote those moments with a (**). Whenever you see (**) know I was thinking about being probably married to Uzuki Hayate. This was the only point in the show in which I was skeptical of the men being there. I don’t LIKE men, period, but I especially don’t need them in my Takarazuka- adjacent material. (They quickly changed my mind in the next bit of the show.) After the men and Beni all dipped offstage, our Lovely Flawless Incredible OGs (Ichijou Azusa, Kisaragi Ren, Uzuki Hayate, Toa Reiya, Katori Reira, and Umesaki Eve, sang Sayonara Minasama (yeah like... the song they play when people retire or when QR is closing or when they need you to Get Out Of The Theatre.) No one could hear it because everyone was busy laughing. Renta was, as expected, completely unhinged, Shiiran was fake crying, it was a disaster because honestly, I don’t know who looked at these women and was like ‘yeah let’s give them free reign of the stage what’s the worst that could happen?’ It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, and then, the curtain just straight up went down as if the show ended.

Of course it DIDN’T. NEXT UP?

BENIKO! She’s back in all her long haired leopard print glory, strutting through the audience through the stage- this time waiting for her? two pieces of mancandy (Kominami Ryuhei and Tagoku Tsubasa) at her beck and call in the ??? PALACE OF VERSAILLES, I GUESS? This was, as all Beniko bits, an improv standup show with a more than a touch of drag sensibility. There was some booty shaking, some fake muscle suits on the slender men, and a lot of laughter. I had tears in my eyes and I have NEVER heard a Japanese audience make this much noise. One of the guys made Beni break when he laughed in the middle of his line, causing Beni to buckle over and snort into her water, it was just.. a treat. These men were NOT equipped to handle Beniko- but then, without practice, who is?

When this all ended, there was a BURST of flame on the screen and standing, sihouetted in backlight, was Toshi(**), looking like (**) I dunno like the worlds hottest woman rockstar (**) and if that wasn’t enough (**) then she STARTED SINGING AND YOU GUYS?

WHAT THE FUCK?

I feel like a lot of things that have happened in Takarazuka are unjust, including several Top Star Careers That Never Were, but as of tonight, the TOP OF THAT LIST is that Toshi never MADE IT. Also that like I never made it to her ochakai. There is another world out there where Toshi has been My Person since day one and I am still in her fanclub to this day. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t like  searching her name on Twitter as we speak trying to find out what Her OG club deal right now is, not that I need to be in ANOTHER OG club, (long story,), but GOD. Holy hell. Her voice is absolutely TOP notch and she was (**) BELTING out this introductory piece and I don’t think I breathed during the whole thing. It was HARD ROCK (**) you guys. (**) (**) (***********************************************************************************************)

From there we had a Takarazuka Medley (labeled in the program as “紅 in neutral”- sense a theme here?)

The medley featured bits from:

Lucky Star!

Gemini (Beni’s infamous girl/boy number from Etoile)

Bouquet de Takarazuka

Stuck Together from Catch Me If You Can, (featuring Renta as Kai’s part, which, oof, I can not wait for Kai to get to see.)

Estrellas

The theme song from Kamatari

Another World (just the first bars of this backing music got laughs)

Om Shanti Om

the God of Stars prologue (and you guys? I would have NEVER expected it but both me and the lady next to me just started CRYING once Beni kicked in with the 今！始まる！素敵な冒険！ bit. We shared a look and like laughed at ourselves. I did NOT see that coming but... more thoughts on Benigumi later. Just know that Dear Reader, I cried.)

Eclair Brillant

Bolero

A Piece of Courage

A song that the program cites as Quimbara which I actually didn’t recognize but (NSFW BELOW, DON’T LOOK IF YOU’RE UNDERAGE, DON’T LOOK IF YOU’RE HANKYU, DON’T LOOK IF YOU’RE GONNA SLIDE INTO MY DMS ABOUT ME NEEDING TO HONOR THE SUMIRE CODE OR WHATEVER because shut UP we all have DESIRES, MA’AM,) I spent the whole time with my eyes fucking transfixed on Shiiran out of everyone in the cast because between her time on the ground and her time idk standing and flirting and making bedroom eyes and like touching people with the tips of her fingers she was just in general doing some NASTY shit with her mouth and pulling girls around and I don’t know if she was playing aggressor or hard to get (or BOTH???? AT THE SAME TIME????) but she sure was grinding on Umesaki Eve and I guess what I’m trying to say is I could physically not breathe. I could say more about what she was getting up to but for like, frankly, my own dignity in this Starbucks I’m gonna leave that memory where it belongs.... in the confessional booth at church.

The medley ended with Beni doing a song from Mozart (but like, not the Mozart that Hoshigumi just did.)

I can not make this up but the program calls the next section of the show “紅 in the Flashy.”

This is where one of Tokyo’s special guests, Miya Rurika, pops up in the same rockstar style as Toshi(**) and I admit I actually thought she was Renta until the audience lost their shit. Guys, Miya looks BEAUTIFUL right now. Her and Beni both seem to be growing their hair out but right now Miya especially has this gorgeous blonde like wavy thing going on and really? Feminine makeup and honestly I was kind of transfixed by her. She sang her song and then was around forrrrrrr

All the Kurenai 5 material! Kurenai 5 (or 4, minus Tenju Mitsuki who is very much currently Acting In A Takarauka show) took over the next bit of the show was and it was every bit as precious as you’d hope. First of all, the way they play off each other is SURREAL and like nothing has changed between them. While I’m sure stuff HAS CHANGED, the love and the fun they have for and with each other has not. They encored some of their old songs, and you’ll be pleased to know that Tenju Mitsuki was present in cardboard cutout form, pushed around on a tiny wheeled platform by Katori Reira (who may I just add, along with Umesaki Eve, made every song they were in sound like there was a whole troupe worth of musumeyaku onstage. Girl can SING.) Beni turned to sneeze at one point and sneezed directly into Miya’s mic on accident.  They also played a video message from Mikkii. It still took a while for the cardboard cutout to stop being funny. My favorite part of this segment was when Beni cracked Renta up and kept giving her shit until she was on the floor laughing and unable to say what she had been trying to say and then Shiiran straight up took the mic out of Renta’s hands and spoke for her. さすが、Shiiran. 

The show was winding down at this point, but Beniko made a reappearance (”BENIKO in DELUSION”, according to the program). We transitioned out of that ad lib with a number for the ladies, Reira and Eve. It was boppy and jazzy and idolly and I got the idea into my head somewhere in here that Katori Reira HAS to play either Velma or Roxie in Chicago before either of us die and if I have to personally fund that happening, well, help me find my wallet because I’m off to the bank.

During this Beni changed into... not her otokoyaku clothes again but not BENIKO, just, herself, but girly. (Program calls this: 紅 in Feminine).  She does a speech about herself and what she wants out of the future and whether she wants to be called a 女優 (explicitly FEMALE actress) or not post-TKZ, and somewhere in here she had a talk with Utahiroba Jun, another man who is completely and utterly obsessed with her, and rightfully so. He was a guest but didn’t actually perform aside from with EVERYONE in one song.) Beni rounds out the concert in a beautiful dress singing her heart out and I’m truly really touched by how far she’s come and how beautifully she performs.

There were, as there tend to be, like 83746958 encores(**) and people running on and off stage. 

This was without a doubt one of the best nights of my life. I laughed until I cried, I straight up Normal Cried, I couldn’t Breathe for my like, unsumire thoughts, I was touched, and I was so so happy. Beni is my all-time favorite top star and probably always will be, and more than a singer or actress or dancer or comedian, Beni I think embodies the title of “entertainer” better than anyone I’ve ever personally had the pleasure to watch onstage or off. Watching her has made ME want to take more risks in performance and in life and to just do my best with everything life throws at me. Tonight she was so much of the Beni we all got to know and love in Takarazuka, but like, unleashed and able to be her truest, funniest, biggest, most loving self. Her ability to talk to the audience and everyone onstage and keep character and keep her humor and balance without missing a beat is unparalleled.  I really, truly love this woman, and I am so so so happy I got to see this incredible kickoff of her OG career. 

If I think of more, I’ll add it, but for now, as Beni hersef finished off the night by saying: Go your own way!!

[robmanion]

all the things that could’ve been

For context, there’s a theory roaming around that the hivemind could travel through time and change events before they happened. here’s my idea of how that could have went. Mentions of kissing, so if you aren’t comfortable with that, don’t read or skip that part. Also mention of a panic attack. That’s the most graphic it’ll get. 

I recommend listing to “if i’m being honest” by dodie for the first half of the story and “shrike” by hozier for the second half of this for the full experience. 

                                                     ______

      It had been about four years or so since Paul had taken that new job Mr. Davidson had offered. Well, it would have been four years. But Paul remembers those years so vividly, it came as a surprise when he woke up one morning and everything was different. 

      The year prior had been the worse one he had ever experienced. One mental breakdown over job layoffs, a car crash, and his mother’s funeral led to a mental hospital and caffeine addiction. He didn’t want to sleep (the nightmares were to real), so he drank to stay awake. He’d stay awake, and he’d feel more worn out, so he’d drink more to stay up. The caffeine crash happened, and he needed more to stay away from dreams- the cycle kept going until he collapsed on the subway. Next thing he knew, he had an IV in his arm recovering from extreme sleep deprivation. Of course, once he was out of the ER, his father drove him to the mental unit. He didn’t want to go, but Paul understood why- he needed help. Badly. So, if the next two months had to be spent in a bland white-walled prison, so be it. It wasn’t as bad as he’d thought, most of the people he met were so sweet and gentle. The only thing that really scared him was the amount of minors in the ward. Those poor children. 

      Once he’d been released, he started to take better care of himself. Got a therapist, moved to a different part of Hatchetfeild, looked for a new job. His old math tutor, Mr. Davidson, offered him a job to help Paul get back on his feet. All he asked for in return was a monthly meeting to check up on his mental health. Seemingly fair enough, so Paul accepted. 

      Paul tried his best to deal with other parts of his life. He’d even tried dating again- something he hadn’t done since high school prom. He’d always felt horrible about himself, about his face, his hair, his body, just a whole mess really. But he needed to get out there sooner or later, right? He started with a girl named Mary (sweet lady, just a bit too narcissistic), but by the god-knows-what-number date, he’d just given up altogether. He liked most of the women, he even flirted with some! But he just couldn’t get over the fact that a month ago he was in a mental hospital. It shouldn’t define him, but it just seemed to loom over everything he did. The only good thing about that place besides the kids were the routines. So, he spoke to his therapist about it, and she said that having a constant thing in life would be extremely helpful. While he was still addicted to caffeine, he felt that he could try and ease his way off it. So, coffee shop it was. 

      He had started off with Starbucks.First, it was an espresso. Next, a simple iced coffee. Then he moved to Iced coffee with creamer. Than to hot coffee.  Than a simple black coffee. Soon, he would be off coffee and down to the weird cappuccino things. 

      He was driving to Starbucks to get his morning coffee when he noticed a sign. Beanie’s. Huh, He’d never heard or seen the place before- must’ve been new. He pulled into their lot, parked, and walked in. He was hit with the smell of muffins and coffee beans. Only, it smelled slightly worse than Starbucks. But honestly, who was he to judge? He walked up to the counter, ready to order. A woman peered from outside a room, and yelled. 

      “EMMA! Costumer!” 

      Paul felt bad. God, if this ‘Emma’ girl was going to get yelled at, maybe he’d go back to Starbucks. Of course, that idea was thrown out the window when he saw her. 

      Paul wasn’t big on beauty. He could appreciate someone’s attractiveness, but he never really seemed to fall for anyone based on that. He had to know them, you know? But when Emma walked out, god he felt his cheeks heat up. She wasn’t supermodel pretty, but she was still breath-taking nonetheless. Sure, her hair was in a messy bun (that wasn’t done to be stylish, if he may have added), bags under her eyes, and looking like she wanted to punch a guy, but she was beautiful. 

      “Welcome to Beanie’s, what can I get you?” Emma asked. Gosh, her voice. Like velvet. Sad, tired velvet, but velvet. 

      “Uh, one black coffee, please,”

                                                ____________

      Paul would be lying if he said that he put up with Beanie’s mediocre coffee for Emma. But what can he say? She was one of the first purely good things to happen to him in a while. Sure, she never recognized him and he always talked super quietly and watched from afar, but it was enough for him. He told his therapist about her, and she said to just ask if she wanted to maybe hang out sometime. Of course, that was insane. He’d have to talk to her about things other than his coffee, and he just wasn’t ready for that. But it had been almost two months, and if Paul didn’t do something now, when would he? 

      So, that faithful day came. He walked into Beanie’s on morning, and paced to the counter. Look normal, Paul. This doesn’t have to be weird. 

      “Welcome to Beanie’s, can I help you?”

       “One black coffee,” He smiled. God he hoped he didn’t look as awkward as he felt. While she made the coffee, he noticed a small tip jar in the corner. He placed a $5 into it; Emma must’ve had superhuman hearing, because she groaned. 

      “Okay, okay! I’ve been brewing up your coffee-” 

      Paul stopped her from singing as soon as the first note hit. She may be attractive, but her singing voice was far from it. “No, no, it’s okay,”

      “Oh, thank you! You know, Nora came back from Coldstone Creamery last weekend and took up the whole singing thing. It’s annoying as hell,” 

      “Sounds like it,” Paul gave a breathy laugh. 

      “I’ve seen you around before, what’s your name?” 

      “Paul,” He extended his hand for a shake. 

      “I’m Emma-” she finishes her sentence while handing Paul his coffee. “-but I’m sure you know that by Nora’s yelling,” 

      At this point, Paul was 100% positive he had a crush on Emma. Okay, crush sounded childish. He had a thing...a fascination...no, no, it was a crush. And god damn it felt nice. To have something positive in his life after so long. 

      “Would you want to get lunch with me sometime?” The words slipped out of his mouth before he could think. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. But to his luck, Emma smiled. 

      “Yeah, actually, but it has to be dinner- my lunch break is only 30 minutes. What about next Friday, 7?” 

      A costumer behind Paul started to curse him out- Paul had forgotten other people existed. Oops. “Yeah, that works. See you then,” 

      “See you then,” 

      When Paul got home that evening, he was ecstatic. He had a date! Maybe it would even be a good one! But he didn’t want to get his hopes up- she looked excited when he asked, but she could be doing it out of pity. After all, he did stare helplessly at her. And if she knew he was there a lot, than maybe she hoped going out with him would just get rid of him. No, stop it, he told himself. If she didn’t want to go out with him, she would’ve said no. He’d just go on the date and see what happens.

     The next morning as he drove to Beanie’s, it occurred to him that he didn’t know where to pick her up. Or how. God, he was stupid. She was probably already on shift, so he decided on asking the moment he got into the shop.

      Of course, this had to be the day Emma was off shift. It was Wednesday, so she was off until 2pm. Of course. Paul sighed as he walked into the coffee shop. The last thing he expected was to bump into the one and only while she walked out.

      “Sorry, I- oh hey! You’re Paul, right?”

      It took a second for Paul to get his footing and voice back, but he smiled awkwardly. “Hey, Emma. Yeah it’s me. I’m actually really glad I ran into you, I have a question,” He and Emma walked over to the ordering counter.

      Finger guns. “Knock yourself out,”

      Paul chuckled before replying. “Can I get your number? I just want to know where to pick you up Friday,” a barista coughed, and he looked over. “One black coffee,”

“Yeah, of course! Here, lemme just-“ she snatched Paul’s phone right out of his hands, and put in her number. “There you go! I’ll send you a photo you can use for my picture so you know it’s me,”

      “Okay. Okay, uh, cool,” He smiled. The barista handed him his coffee, and he put a 10 on the table. “Keep the change,” he looked back at Emma. “Now, I’m going to go to my job,”

      “Why don’t you go over to Starbucks, huh? Coffee here’s shit,”

      Paul looked around the shop, and smiled. It just reminded him of her. “Because, some things are worth it. Like-“ he took a sip of the cup.”-Damn good coffee. And you,”

      She blushed. She fucking blushed. God she was adorable. “Well, thank you,”

                                              _____________

      So came Friday night, and Paul was getting anxious. Emma had said to meet him outside of Beanie’s (’I’m working until 5 Friday’, she said), but it had been then thirty minutes and there was no sign of her. It’s not like he was hiding or anything- he was sitting in his car, smack in front of Beanie’s doors, clear as day. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she blew him off. No, Emma was a nice person, she wouldn’t do that. Would she? But, just as Paul was starting to have a freak out, Emma pushed open the front doors and looked around. Thank god. She saw Paul and waved, walking to his car; he rolled down a window. 

      “I was starting to think you’d ditched me,” He laughed. 

      “Me, leaving you? Never,” She laughed back and got into the passenger seat. “So, where to, posh boy?” 

      “Posh boy?”

      “I dunno, you just look posh,” 

      Paul looked at himself; he was just wearing a nice polo and jeans. It’s not like he was wearing a suit or anything. “Oh, well thank you. You’re looking nice yourself,” That was true- she was wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blouse. 

      “Why thank you,” She imitated a British accent and failed horribly. 

      “You’re welcome, m’dam,” Paul replied with an equally bad accent. She giggled. “We’re just heading to a Mexican place. You like Mexican, right?” He returned to his normal voice. 

      “Of course! Who doesn’t?”

      “Alright, let’s go then!” 

      The ride to the restaurant was much more scenic than Paul expected. The highway was way to backed up to even move, so Emma suggested they take a back route. Paul didn’t know the way, so they ended up switching spots. Emma typed in the restaurant's name into the GPS, and off they went. Paul looked out the passenger window to find they were driving next to an apple orchard- god was it pretty. The budding flowers and ripe looking apples that hung from the trees made Paul practically taste the apples in his mouth, The smell of apple cider in the distance made him swoon. If there was one thing that could always remind him of childhood, it was the smell of apple cider- how his grandmother used to pick him up from school in the fall and make him apple pie and apple cider, and feed it to hi until he was stuffed. Those were the days. 

      “What are you smilin’ so hard about?” Emma asked. 

      “Nothing really, just it smells amazing,”

      “Alright,” He could feel her gaze on his face every now and again for the rest of the ride.

       Once they arrived back at the restaurant, Emma pulled into the parking lot, and jumped out of the car. Paul soon followed, and when they both got the doors of the restaurant, Emma smirked and opened the door for Paul. “Ladies first,” 

      “Very funny,” Paul said sarcastically, but smiled. 

      The restaurant wasn’t fancy, but it was on of those places that you probably shouldn’t wear a t-shirt to. The lighting was dim enough to eat in but still feel like you were eating at some five-star place. The food smelled amazing as they both walked past the kitchen, following the host to their table. They sat down, and took a good look at their menus before Emma cleared her throat to speak up. “You know, I saw you staring at me the past two months,” 

      Paul was taken aback. Shit. “What?” 

      “Yeah, you kept staring at me. You’d stay in Beanie’s and drink your coffee. It’s not hard to tell when someone's eyeballing you, just so you know.” She saw Paul’s face, and laughed. He must’ve looked stupid. “Don’t worry, it’s fine. I mean, I found it creepy at first, but you were always so flustered when you ordered, so I knew it wasn’t like you were stalking me,” 

      Paul rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t think you’d even notice me,” 

      “With a face like yours? It’s hard not to!” She gave a breathy laugh before continuing. “But then you asked me out and honestly, I was super exited. You seemed...sweet.” 

      “Well? Am I what you expected?” 

      “No,” Paul was about to frown, but then he smiled. “You’re so much more,” 

      The food was fantastic. Emma had gotten the chicken taquitos, and Paul ordered the beef tacos. Safe to say, it took a while to make, but they passed the time by staking the salt and pepper shakers from the tables around them (Paul noted later that taking them while people were eating wasn’t the best idea, but honestly it was so much fun that he didn’t care). Then their food came, and they laughed because they had so many shakers. Eventually they put them back. While they ate, they talked about family, their jobs, and then their pasts eventually came into the discussion.

      “So, what’s your trauma?” Emma asked after a mouthful of taquito. 

      “Hm?” 

      “Come on, we’ve all got something. Spill,” 

      God, was she ready for that so quickly? Was he even ready for that? He’d never told anyone at the office (minus Bill, but Bill was his best friend) about his past, so how was he to tell a woman he doesn’t even know? “Uh, I just went through a rough patch,” 

      Emma seemed to catch on that he didn’t want to talk about, and didn’t push. “Ah- I get that.” It sounded like she wanted to say something, but she stopped herself. She probably realized it was a bit early for trauma talk. Thank god. 

      By the time they’d finished eating, the sun was just about done setting. Paul drove her home this time, and the winding back roads and stoplight gave him time to think. He was starting to fall for Emma. He knew his heart was moving too fast, that it was all too much, but he didn’t care. She was everything he’d ever wanted and more. He couldn’t risk loosing her. Paul looked over at her- her head leaning against the glass, eyes closed, but he knew she wasn’t asleep. She really looked like an angel. Paul didn’t believe in God all that much- he’d grown up in church, but he never believed God made time for everyone. Now, he was starting to believe it. 

      When the GPS told him he’d arrived at Emma’s place, he parked and shook her gently. “Emma, we’re here,” 

      She groaned. “Okay, okay,” She opened her eyes. “I wasn’t sleeping, but god I wish I was,”

      Paul pretended to be offended. “ Am I that boring?” 

      She gave a small laugh. Paul got out of the car, and opened her door for her. She gave a thank you. “You can come up with me for a bit, if you want.” Was Paul going to say no? Of course not. He followed her up the complex until they reached her floor. She dug the front door’s key from her pocket, and unlocked it. The place was nice for an apartment. A small couch, with a tall lamp in the corner. The kitchen was decent enough, and it looked like it had been recently cleaned. The smell of lavender took over his senses, and he exhaled sharply. “Come ‘ere,” Emma motioned with her hand, to which Paul followed- he hadn’t realized she’d starting walking ahead of him. He followed her into her bedroom. It was a nice light shade of gray with a purple accent wall. Quilts everywhere, her bed looked more like a giant pillow than a mattress with a headboard. A small table that acted as a dresser sat in the corner, along with a small bookshelf. While he was looking around the room, Emma had put on a record because of course she had a record player on her nightstand. He recognized the artist- Hozier. His voice acted as an anchor to the real world when Emma walked up to Paul and kissed him. 

      The kiss was soft- not to hard, more like she was testing the waters. Her lips tasted like coconut. Must’ve been chap-stick; or who knows, maybe she really just tasted that sweet. He’d been so lost in her, he didn’t notice he was kissing back. He didn’t notice his arms wrapping around her waist, her hands in his short hair. He didn’t notice that she turned them around, and that they were moving backward. It wasn’t until his back hit her bed, with her kissing him more deeply on top of him did he snap out of his trance. He didn’t want this. Well, he did, but not this quick. Not on the first date. He felt like.. he didn’t know why, but it just didn’t feel right. 

      “Emma?” He whispered, doing his best to pull away from the kiss. 

      “Yeah?” She asked, her voice breathy. Paul looked away; he felt so fucking stupid. He’s a guy- he’s supposed to want to fuck her on the first date. But he didn’t want to fuck her- not yet. And that seemed like such a degrading term- fucking someone. He wanted to love her, make her feel like she was the only thing in the world that mattered to him. But not yet. Not this early. His thoughts must’ve been planting themselves on his face, because she pulled back. “Paul, what’s wrong?” Her voice sounded like honey, and Paul hated to do this to her. 

      “I’m...I’m not ready. I do want to, you know..just, not now,” He did his best to explain. She nodded. 

      “Of course. i don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to. Do you just want to lay here? We can keep going without the sex, if that’s what you want,” 

      Paul wondered how he managed to find a woman like Emma. “Yeah, that’s fine,” 

      They curled up together on Emma’s bed, sharing a couple of kisses her and there until they both fell asleep to the distant sounds of traffic and Hozier. 

      The next morning, Paul woke up to the sunlight hitting his face. He didn’t even want to open his eyes at first- the sun and the warmth wrapped around him made him feel like a cat. A lazy cat that didn’t want to move, even though the day had started long beforehand; even though the cat knew it needed to eat, that it needed to get some fresh air, it wouldn’t move for the world, as it was right where it needed to be- Paul was just like that cat. But, he couldn’t get his way, could he? He opened his eyes, and smiled. He was in Emma’s room. She was tangled up with him; their legs intertwined, her head leaning on his chest, his head leaning on top of hers. She looked at peace. 

      Paul’s back pocket started to buzz, and Paul gave a quiet groan. God, he couldn’t get one morning of silence, could he? He gently moved one of his hands off of Emma’s back. and slowly reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone. Mr. Davidson, it read. He picked up. 

      “Hello?” He whispered. 

      There was chatter behind Mr. Davidson’s voice. Was he at the office? No, it was Saturday- he was probably at Starbucks or something. “Paul, where are you? You missed our monthly meeting,” 

      Fuck. “What time is it?” 

      “About 11,” 

      “I’m so sorry, sir. I, um..I had a date, and-”

      Paul could practically see the smile on Mr. Davidson’s face. “No worries, Paul. And you don’t need to call me sir, remember? You know me. I’ll move the meeting until Monday,” 

      “Than you, Nathan,” 

      “Paul, I’m glad you’re back on your feet. You deserve it after the year you’ve had,” 

      “Thanks,” Paul bid a quick goodbye, and ended the call. By the time he’d turned his phone off, Emma was starting to stir. 

      “Morning,” She muttered. Her hair was a mess, and it was so adorable. 

      “Good morning,” 

      This is perfect, she’s perfect, Paul thought. I’m going to marry her. 

                                            _______________

      It had been three and a half years, and Paul had never been more happy. He and Emma had been in a relationship since the first date. Emma had moved into Paul’s larger apartment. They got a cat together, and then things settled down. Paul had gotten to know everyone at the office to be one first name basis with everyone. He, Ted, and Bill went out of guys night every month. Emma kept up her job at Beanie’s while she got through community college. She given Paul her pot farm proposal, and Paul laughed. When he found out she wasn’t kidding, he helped her get a medical marijuana selling license. They worked on logos together, and honestly Paul did his best to support Emma no matter what. 

      Not that their relationship was perfect. When Paul’s department faced possible layoffs, it sent him into a frenzy. He couldn’t be unemployed again, living like that was hell. When Mr. Davidson called Paul into his office, Paul snapped. He started having a horrible panic attack, and the office ended up calling for an ambulance in fear of his safety. Emma, of course, was Paul’s emergency contact (along with his father), and they both ended up at the office in under a half an hour. They both talked while the first respondents calmed Paul down- Emma and his father weren’t allowed near him while he was still on edge. To this day, Paul regrets that was the way Emma met his dad. After that whole ordeal, Emma made him talk about his past. She said she needed to know, because if she needed to help on moments notice, it was important to know those things. So, Paul told her about how when they’d gone on their first date, he’d been out of a mental hospital for two months. How he’d had a mental breakdown when he lost his first job, and even thought about suicide at one point. He explained that’s why he freaked out when Mr. Davidson called him into his office. Emma understood completely- she told him about her sister’s death, and how her parents never really talked to her that much after the death, because in their grief-stricken state, they blamed her for her sister’s death. That night, both of them cried, holding one another until they wore themselves out to sleep. 

      But through all their ups and downs, they never lost sight of what they loved about each other. And now that three and a half years had past, Paul knew. He wanted to marry Emma Perkins. He wanted to share her last name, or for her to have his. He wanted to be with her until he died. They both already wanted this- marriage would just make it official to everyone else. 

      “I’m going to propose to Emma,” Paul blurted at Guy’s Night. 

      “What?” Bill asked. 

      “About time,” Ted scoffed. 

      “I have a ring picked out and everything. i just don’t know when,” 

      “You know, I proposed to Vanessa when we were having sex,” Bill commented awkwardly. “But she said yes,”

      “Look where that got you,” Ted pointed out. 

      “Not what I meant, Ted,” Bill shot back. “Look, Paul, all I’m saying is whenever feels like the best time, even if it’s weird, go for it,” 

      “Just not during sex, that’s just stupid,” Ted laughed. Bill glared at him, and Ted nudged him. “All in good tidings, Bill,” 

      “Thanks guys,” Paul smiled.

      Turns out, the right time was on a Saturday night, while they watched Dateline on their couch. She was wearing his sweater, and the cat was on her lap, and she was so perfect. Paul couldn’t think of a better time to ask the woman he loved to marry him. 

      “Emma?” 

      “Yeah, Paul?”

      Here goes nothing, he thought. “Em, I love you. And honestly, you supported me at my best, and helped me up through my worst; and I like to think I’ve done the same for you. You helped me become the man I am today, and..and everything you do reminds me every day why I’m so thankful God led me to you,” 

      “Paul, what are you doing?” Emma asked. She gasped when he got up from the couch and onto once knee. 

      “This is a little bit awkward because I don’t have the ring with me,” Paul laughed, “But Emma Lauren Perkins, would you marry me?” 

      Emma put her hands over her mouth, and started to laugh. She let go, and she was smiling so wide. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes!” She jumped of the couch (the cat hissing and running away) and into Paul’s arms. “Of course!” 

      Paul kissed her, and she kissed back. They were getting married. 

                                           _______________

      Paul’s been waiting for three and a half years for this day, but even in his dreams did he picture hoe beautiful Emma would be walking down the aisle. 

      They couldn’t afford much- they worked minimal wage jobs, and even with help from Paul’s father, they couldn’t afford a big venue. So, they decided on a small reception on the beach in Rhode Island. The boat ride and drive from Hatchetfeild to the beach was about 2 hours. Once they got there, they unpacked their stuff at the hotel room. They didn’t plan on having much of a honeymoon, just at the same beach they were to marry in for a week or so. But that was enough for them. 

      When the day finally came, Paul was a bubble of nerves. The wedding would take place in a small park, with the first dance and after party actually being on the beach (no one wanted to see Emma trip on her face because of sand on their wedding day (as funny has Paul and Emma seemed to think it would be, they decided against it). 

      So, there stood Paul, waiting at the end of the aisle. Emma’s friends and relatives on one side, Paul’s father and coworkers on the other. Bill offered to marry them, since Emma was atheist and priests were fucking expensive. The bridesmaids and Paul’s mates walked hand in hand down the aisle. Mr. Davidson and his wife walked down next, and Nathan winked at Paul as he passed. Finally, Paul saw Emma walk down the aisle with his father, and he lost his breath. The white dress complimented the rose flower crown that she and him were proud to say she made herself, and with her hair in a loose bun, she looked more like an angel than he’d ever seen her. When she got to the from of the alter, Paul nearly broke tradition and kissed her right then and there- but he had to hold back. The both smiled at each other while Bill went through the motions. 

      “Paul Matthews, you may now recite your vows,” Bill said. 

      Paul took a deep breath. “Can I just say how nervous I am?” The crowd laughed. “No, really!” He looked over at her. “Emma, when i met you, i was a mess. I didn’t think I was going to get better, that nothing in life mattered You came to me at the hardest point in my life, and you embraced it. You were always so gentle and patient with me, and that really meant the world to me. When I met you, the world just got so much brighter. The smells, the brightness, the colors, everything just just better. And times got hard for us, but I’m so thankful that you stuck through it all. You mean the world to me. I love you so much,” 

      Emma laughed an wiped away a couple of tears as Bill spoke up again. “Emma Perkins, you may recite you vows,” 

      “God damn, Paul, you’re a sap,” She muttered, laughing again. “Paul, I didn’t think I was worthy of love before I met you. I used to think that I’d always have to change myself for love, because that’s all I grew up knowing what love was. And frankly, I didn’t want that. The you stumbled into my life, and I realized I didn’t have to change a thing to love someone wholeheartedly. You taught me to love myself, and I hope I’ve done the same for you. Paul, I love you more than words can describe, and I hope you’ll be right there next to me for whatever the hell life wants to throw at us,” 

      “Paul and Emma Matthews, by the power rested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” 

      Emma beat Paul do it, dipping him and kissing like there was no tomorrow. 

      The rest of the reception was on the beach, and everyone had a wonderful time. Emma and Paul’s first dance was to Hozier’s Shrike, in honor of their first date. After that, a playlist of random 80s music and rave music blasted from the speakers, and everyone jumped and danced like there was no tomorrow. Even Emma’s biology teacher, Dr. Hidgens, was dancing. It went on for another three hours of so, until midnight hit, and everyone bid goodbye to the wedding. Now, all that was left was leftover cake, Emma and Paul, and the crashing waves. 

      “Emma Mathews?” Paul asked as he sat next to her. 

      “Yes, Paul Matthews?” 

      “Can we just fall asleep here? I want to remember this moment,” 

      “Of course,” Emma smiled, and they both laid down. Emma head on Paul chest, Paul holding Emma’s hand. “I love you, Em,” 

      “I love you too,” 

      They both drifted off to the sound of the waves and seagull cries. 

                                               ____________ 

      Beep, beep, beep. 

      The alarm clock woke Paul up. Which was strange, because unless he suddenly remembered to set an alarm, his alarm clock shouldn’t be ringing. He rolled himself out of bed, looking out the window. That was a hell of a storm last night- the power transformer almost blew out. Thank god he still had running water, because he hadn’t showered all weekend (not getting out of bed does that to a person). He walked over to the bathroom, and doused some water on his face. that’s when he noticed the ring. It was a wedding ring. The hell, Paul thought. He’d not married, he doesn’t even have a girlfriend. He took it off, and threw it into the trashcan. 

      He could hear his next door neighbor singing in the shower. He never sang. Odd. Who knows, maybe it was a good day for him- for what it was worth, Paul thought his voice was lovely. He turned on the radio to listen to while he made some toast. Today is March 24, 2018, Donna said. 

      Paul had a pang of deja vu. He felt like he was supposed to do something important today. He looked around his room, then shrugged. Everything seemed normal. Expect the wedding ring. After a moment of thought, he brushed the thought of. He was drunk last night, maybe he just got married it Bill by mistake.

Paul finished up his morning routine, and locked his apartment up. Maybe he’d stop but Beanie’s again- there was a cute barista there, and who knows, maybe he would ask her out.

[wintersxsoul]

Matching scars (10)

Summary:  “How could someone like you, love someone like me? It makes no fucking sense.“

Pairings: Loki x Reader // Steve Rogers x OFC

Warnings: Nightmares, descriptions of physical abuse, swearing, angst, eventual smut, depression, intrussive thoughts, self-harming, etc.

A/N: I’m such a mess, I forgot about this series. My life is quite a mess right now, so forgive me for my bad memory.

Series masterlist

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 

Evan rushed to the bedroom to get dressed, he was fully nude. You brought your hands to your face, trying to hide the embarrassment you were feeling. You were sure your face was crimson and even tears started filling your eyes. You turned to face Loki, who was mortified, looking at you. He lifted an eyebrow, questioning you, because all you did was bite your lip anxiously.

“What are you doing here?” Nice, girl. That’s all you have to say? “I mean, why did you hung the phone?” You sounded so stupid, your voice being barely a whisper, Evan had enough for today. Loki looked angry, like totally angry, vein almost popping and all.

“You-are you out of your mind?” He snapped pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down. “I thought you were in danger, but I can clearly see you were not.” He said gritting his teeth. You didn’t know what to answer, so you just let out the first thing that crossed your mind.

“Loki are you hungry? Because I am. I think we should go get breakfast. What do you think?” You were so anxious you thought you were going to pass out. These things only happen to you. Your inner self rolled her eyes at you. At that exact moment, Evan emerged from the bedroom clothed and with his stuff, ready to leave. He approached you and tried to kiss you on the lips, but you turned your face fast enough that his lips crashed on your cheek instead. He looked at you furrowing his brow and looked at Loki, extending his hand to introduce himself.

“I’m Evan, you must be...” He said smiling waiting for an answer, but only receiving a cold harsh look from Loki. Evan put his hand to his side, and rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. You threw Loki a glare and he gave Evan the fakest smile you’ve ever seen on anyone.

“I’m Loki.” You really wanted to crawl back to bed and never get out again. You shifted in place awkwardly, and Evan’s eyes lit up.

“So you’re the famous friend Y/N couldn’t stop talking about last night! It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He elbowed Loki in a friendly way and leaned closer to him. “Between us two, I wish she spoke of me like that, you’re so lucky, man.” Before they could interact more, you pushed Evan out the door, waving him goodbye and promising him a call. You pressed your back to the door, closing your eyes and letting out a sigh.

“Soooo, that was weird.” You said, not sure to who. You looked at Loki, who was looking at you slightly pissed. “First of all, I’m so sorry about that. Normally Anne is the one who handles these things but she di-” He cut you off.

“You don’t have to explain yourself. I’ve seen enough.” He was really pissed. The tone on his voice was not too harsh, but it was cold enough for you to know he was mad at you.

You convinced Loki to have breakfast with you, so you went to the Starbucks where you used to work. As you stepped in the shop, you could feel all your bottlelled emotions coming to the surface. You hadn’t been here since Frigga’s death, so it was a lot to take in. You ordered two black coffees and went to sit to your usual spot. You could tell by Loki’s expressions and attitude that he wanted to say or ask something.

“Is everything alright? You seem to be far away from here.” Your eyes met his and he seemed conflicted, like he had a war in his mind. You reached his hand with yours, caressing his knuckles with your thumb.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to speak, but I’m here if you need anything.” You smiled shyly, trying to comfort him. His eyes travelled to your intertwined hands, sighing.

“Do you like Evan?” He asked, his eyes never leaving your hands. “That’s why you didn’t want to kiss me?” wOw.  Your jaw dropped and you tried to puzzle the right words.You let go of his hand, and his eyes instantly darted to yours, pain written all over his features.  You took a deep breath and ran your fingers through your hair.

“Evan has nothing to do with that.” You kept taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. “I got drunk and then I was thinking about you and then he kissed me and it just made sense that you didn’t want to kiss me. You told me I was a good friend.” Your mind was starting to shut down all kind of emotions, avoiding the rejection that you thought you would have to endure.

“You-You were thinking about me while you were with another man?” He asked, eyebrows rising in awe. You never had issues about opening up to your love interests, even when you knew you didn’t stand a chance. Yes, you were very insecure and always feared rejection, but that was the thing, you always expected a negative so when the answers were different, you felt better about opening your heart. With Daisy, your first love, it was easier. You knew the second you landed your eyes on her that she was the one, it was all flowers and hearts, but with Loki? You felt nothing similar to that.

With him it was strange, you had no idea what you were feeling, not sure if it was love or just a simple infatuation. You looked at him, sighed, and answered an honest “Yes”.

After that, you decided to change the topic of your conversation and do small talk while you had a cinnamon roll you ordered to eat.

The way back home was silent, but not uncomfortable, you both seemed to be too immersed in your thoughts. You couldn’t stop thinking about how much you loved being around Loki, how you adored his laugh or the way his eyes softened every time he spoke about something he loved, that was normally Asgard, Frigga or Thor, even though he would never admit the latter. In a month, you cared about him more than yourself, he was always around, trying to make you feel better after a breakdown or sweetly waking you up when you had nightmares. A part of you, deep down, knew that you said yes to staying at the compound because the thought of you away from him hurt. You would never admit to yourself that you had a crush on him before even knowing him, but the feelings were there. You looked to the right, where Loki was walking by your side, and you could not help but smile a little at seeing him so carefree, even relaxed. All that changed once you got in the elevator together. His jaw was tense, his shoulders were tense and all his body was tense. What’s wrong now? Once you were close to your floor, you could even cut the tension in the small cubicle, and you guessed Loki had enough of it because he turned to face you, took a deep breath and approached you like you were prey. You knew what his intentions were, but you couldn’t do that to yourself, as much as you wanted him to kiss you, you knew you had to avoid that kind of pain. You’re not ready to be dumped, not by him. So before he was close enough, you moved to the left and in front of Loki, and in a heartbeat the elevator reached the floor. You rushed outside, running as fast as you could, trying to avoid the embarrassment you were feeling by your own stupid actions. You stormed into your room and closed the door, but you could see someone in it from the corner of your eye. You turned around and Loki was standing in front of you, rage boiling in his eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you, y/n?” He didn’t move from his spot. “Care to explain this nonsense?” You knew exactly what he was talking about. Your actions didn’t match your words, but all you could answer was something idiotic.

“How did you get in here before me?” Are you stupid? Yes. Loki was furious at you, only a fool wouldn’t see that, and with that question you just made things worse.

“I have magic.” He spat. Your eyes paced the room, trying to avoid his murderous stare. “Now that we got that clear, could you answer my damn question?” You slid down the door to sit, bringing your hands to your face and rubbing your temple with your index fingers. You gained the courage you needed and spoke.

Tag list is OPEN.

@trashpandabarnes @sideeffectsofyou @madamefresa @lilypalmer1987@gravedollie666 @sarahivi @gummiwormsandonedirection @deamstellarus @zeilenkrieg

[the-literalist]

Spare Me Some Time (11)

Pairing: USUK

Word Count: 4526

Summary: Alfred Jones is as poor as they get, living homeless on the streets. He is the type of man that high-paid businessman Arthur Kirkland would never spare a passing glance, but that’s about to change.

Link to the full story on AO3

Alfred hadn’t been to a Starbucks in forever. He thought that the coffee was pretty decent, but it was way too expensive and so he tended not to splurge on a drink he could get somewhere else for half the cost. They did offer some pretty interesting flavors though, all equally sweet and delicious, and Alfred felt his mouth watering just roaming his eyes over the menu posted on the wall.

He finally decided on a decadent chocolate Frappuccino, piled high with whipped cream and syrup drizzled over the top. Oh man, he was going to enjoy this to the very last drop. When was the last time he had a treat like this? He almost couldn’t believe that Arthur actually proposed to come here, it seemed like the man had never set foot in a Starbucks before.

Alfred watched Arthur with humored interest; the shorter man had spent a great deal of time racking his eyes over the menu only to grow more and more irritated (no doubt because he couldn’t find his desired tea as an option).

“Excuse me,” Arthur called out to the barista who had been waiting for him to pick something and pay. “Where is your tea selection? I don’t want a chai latte tazo whatever-the-hell! I just want a normal tea, hot – as it should be. None of that iced crap!” 

The barista stared at him, unimpressed, and blinked slowly. “We have plenty of choices,” she stated while bringing up a box full of different brands. “Green, black, white, herbal – take your pick.”

Arthur murmured a “that’s more like it” under his breath before taking the box from her and rummaging through it.

Alfred stood off to the side with his drink already made, watching the line gradually get longer and longer behind Arthur. He knew by now that Arthur was a no-shame kind of guy, he probably didn’t care that people were waiting. Unfortunately, the barista did.

“Sir, have you decided yet?” she asked with a rushed inclination, gesturing vaguely to the box in Arthur’s hands.

He narrowed his eyes at her. “This is a very delicate procedure. If I pick the wrong tea, it could completely ruin the rest of my day. We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” He picked up two different tea bags and studied them closely.

Alfred had to bite his lip from chuckling at the barista’s reaction, she looked like she was ready to explode.

“Sir,” she tried, “please pick one!”

“Fine, you inconsiderate slag. I’ll take this herbal one then,” he said while thrusting the tea bag in front of her. Alfred’s eyebrows shot up, damn Arthur was nasty sometimes!

She took it in a huff and then got a cup from the side. “Name?”

“Beg your pardon?”

Alfred leaned in close to Arthur, “She needs your name to write on the cup.”

The Englishman hummed in reply, “It’s Arthur.”

The barista looked at him, “Author?”

He frowned. “No. Arthur.”

“Oh I’m sorry, I can’t understand your accent. Can you repeat that again?” Alfred covered his mouth to hide his giggles. The barista was totally fucking with him and he couldn’t say that Arthur didn’t deserve it. That’s what happens when you treat workers in New York City rudely.

And Arthur looked more pissed then ever. “My accent is perfectly understandable thank you! You need to get your hearing checked. And you know what, make that Mr. Kirklandto you.”

The barista looked at him with an unreadable expression. “Of course, Mr. Kirkland,” she said with false innocence while scribbling the name on the cup.

After paying for the two drinks and finally allowing the next couple in line to order, Alfred and Arthur moved to the side.

“So it’s your first time in a Starbucks?” Alfred asked, already knowing the answer. “Yes, and my last! I suggested going here because I always hear how obsessed Americans are with the place. God only knows why...I just thought you’d prefer this to other cafes.” He pointed down to the giant Frappuccino in Alfred’s hands, “and I doubt you’d be able to find that monstrosity elsewhere. It looks disgusting by the way.” Alfred pouted, “Hey! Don’t judge! This shit is delicious, you gotta try it.” He held it out to Arthur who put his hand up in disgust.

“No thanks, I’ll wait for my tea while you subject your body to diabetes.”

“Rude,” Alfred stuck his tongue out at him.

Finally a different barista placed a ready-made hot tea on the counter and called out, “Mr. Cockland? Tea for Mr. Cockland?”

Alfred’s face scrunched up before he burst out laughing. Arthur on the other hand turned bright red. Then he whirled his head around to the register where the first barista was. She looked at him and gave the sweetest smile before turning back to the client she was helping.

Arthur’s eye twitched. He grabbed his drink off the counter and then grabbed Alfred’s shirt to drag him out of the coffee shop.

When they were safely outside and Alfred’s laughter died down, he took a moment to appreciate just how angry the other man looked. “C’mon, you have to admit that was funny.”

“No it was not! It was inappropriate, and uncalled for I might add. She’s lucky I don’t report her,” he tapped his foot irately.

Alfred rolled his eyes, “Yeah but you were kind of a douchebag.”

“What are you saying? That I deserved it?” Arthur narrowed his piercing green eyes at him, and it reminded Alfred so much of a few days earlier when Arthur had yelled at him for trying to return his money.

He tried to hide the sudden stab of dejection. “I’m just saying you should be nicer to people, especially when their job is to serve you. You shouldn’t act like you’re better than them, that’s all. Everyone deserves respect…servers, waiters…even the homeless,” he tacked on.

The other man started to fidget uncomfortably, mulling over Alfred’s words. He turned the cup over in his hands to look at the name ‘Mr. Cockland’ written across it in big black letters. Finally he let out a heavy sigh and raked a hand through his hair. “You’re right. I…need to work on that don’t I?”

Alfred gave him a small smile and stated encouragingly, “Don’t worry, I can help you.”

“You think you can reverse three decades of mistrust and egotism thrust on me by my family and friends?”

Alfred beamed at him, undaunted. “Of course!”

His positivity must have been infectious because Arthur smiled back at him. “Okay then. Before we start training,” he started jokingly, “why don’t we sit and enjoy our drinks?” He motioned to the outdoor seating area, where there was an empty table with two chairs.

“Sure,” Alfred affirmed as they made their way over and sat down.

Arthur snorted, “So is this what Americans do to pass time? Buy overpriced coffee and talk aimlessly for hours?”

The younger man tapped his chin in fake thought, “Hmmmm well yeah, mostly the chicks though. Or people on dates.” Shit, he did not mean to say that last part. He didn’t let Arthur ponder his words before asking quickly, “Why, what do British people do?”

“Go to a pub of course, I must say I’d fancy a pint after that interaction with the barista…” He put his elbow on the table and held his chin in his hand.

“Hahaha! It’s too early to drink!”

Arthur looked at him incredulously before asserting, “It’s nevertoo early to drink.”

Alfred couldn’t tell if he was kidding but it seemed like he wasn’t. He mentally added ‘heavy drinker’ to his steadily-growing list of things he knew about the Englishman.

“You Brits must really like your liquor,” he said amusingly.

“Oh you don’t know the half of it. I could drink anyone under the table in my hometown,” Arthur stated confidently with a smirk on his face.

Alfred smirked back at him. “Impressive. I’m not a huge drinker though, I’ll leave that to you.” He threw in a wink for good measure.

“Well that’s a shame… so you don’t know of any good pubs around here then?”

“Um no not really, I’ve never really been to a pub actually, I prefer clubs so I can dance. Pubs just make me think of tiny, dimly lit bars that serve fish and chips with beer. Not really my thing.”

Arthur did not look happy. And he was definitely pouting. “That’s not all that pubs have to offer! Especially in England! I don’t know what kind of crap goes on here but there has to be an authentic English pub somewhere in this godforsaken city.”

Alfred laughed. “You’re probably right. We’ll just have to do a bar crawl one night to find the best English pub!”

The Englishman contemplated this before nodding in agreement.

They went on to discuss other topics, from their alcoholic drinks of choice to their college experiences, to favorite subjects in school, and Alfred even got Arthur to open up about his childhood a bit!

An hour and a half had gone by before Alfred started thinking more and more about how much it felt like a date. The two of them, sitting outside enjoying the sunny weather talking and laughing and generally enjoying each others’ company. It was exciting of course, but he also didn’t know if his companion felt the same attraction. He still didn’t even know if the man swung that way! Alfred had let his sexuality slip the night before, but Arthur hadn’t alluded to his own preferences, and Alfred wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

It was also weird that Arthur was paying for everything. Alfred felt bad about it, of course, but it wasn’t like he had any money anyway and Arthur clearly had the funds and had no qualms with spending it. The guy was seriously loaded. And Alfred was only a little bit jealous.

If he had that kind of money he was be donating it to charities to give back to the community. Of course he had nothing against the Englishman about spending his own money however he wanted… it was just interesting seeing the contrast between their two upbringings and lifestyles. Alfred had never been on a date with someone posh, or ‘bougie’, or whatever. He tended to go for the tamer, quieter, and laid back men – the ones who had a few part time jobs and preferred to play video games rather than go to work.

Arthur wasn’t like that at all. He was hot-headed, quick-witted, and devoted to the painstaking time and effort to do good work. Alfred could tell the man was a force to be reckoned with. And, for some reason, he really liked it. He liked that Arthur was sarcastic and honest and spoke his mind even when he probably shouldn’t. He liked that the man acted all tough and fierce one second but the next turned all wide-eyed and adorable the next second.

Speaking of his eyes, they were just gorgeous. Green eyes were rare in general but Arthur’s were absolutely mesmerizing. The way the light was reflected in the little gold flecks of his irises captivated Alfred and he couldn’t stop staring, watching Arthur talk animatedly until he paused and gave Alfred a weird look.

“Well?”

Alfred shook his head to redirect his attention; he had completely zoned out. “Huh? Sorry, what’d you say?”

“I asked if you wanted to move on to the suit shopping?”

“Aw but I was having so much fun here!”

“You weren’t even listening to me while I was speaking!” Arthur shouted, scowling at him.

“I sorta was,” he giggled, shrugging his shoulders and radiating innocence.

“My arse you were,” was the response. He abruptly stood up, grabbing the long-finished cups off the table and tossing them in the garbage. “Are you coming or not?”

“Yeah yeah hold your horses,” Alfred replied whilst standing and stretching his arms up to the sky.

They weaved their way through the people sitting and chatting and started down the street. Arthur was using the GPS on his phone in order to find the ‘perfect’ place to buy nicely tailored suits and Alfred followed his lead.

After only walking a few blocks, Arthur came to a halt in front of a store with a name that Alfred couldn’t pronounce. There were luxurious tuxedos on perfectly posed mannequins in the window and even the tiny light bulbs in the display case looked expensive. Alfred’s stomach dropped. This was the kind of store he wouldn’t spare a passing glance; he didn’t belong here!

Arthur held the door open and when he noticed that Alfred was not inching any closer, he dragged him inside whispering “it’ll be fine”.

The place was a lot bigger than it looked. Tons of suits lined the walls, sorted by color and style. There was a section for wedding suits, professional suits, everyday suits – what the heck was an everyday suit?? It was very overwhelming, and Alfred couldn’t help but feel extremely out of place surrounded by such affluent clothing.

A clerk spotted the two men and approached them. “How can I help you two today?”

Arthur took the lead. “Well, we were hoping to find a classic suit for him,” he gestured to Alfred with a nod.

The clerk responded, “Very well, follow me please.” He brought them to a long line of suits toward the back of the shop, a varying array of blues and blacks poking out from the rack.

Alfred gulped. They all looked exactly the same! How was he supposed to pick one?

Thank god Arthur seemed to know the “ins and outs” of suit shopping. After pulling a bunch of suits from the rack and discussing with the clerk which would be the most appropriate for a typical work setting, he ushered Alfred along to the changing room to try them on.

He stared at himself in the big mirrors lining all sides of his dressing room, feeling caged and uncomfortable. In the brightness of the contained space he could see his body so clearly. Like the bags under his eyes and the gauntness of his face. He removed his shirt and examined the way his ribs bulged out. He had never looked so ugly, he decided. The lackluster eyes and pale skin was nothing reminiscent of how he used to look. Something had to change; he couldn’t go on looking like hallowed version of himself.

“Everything okay in there?” he heard Arthur ask from the other side of the closed door.

“Uh huh, hold on,” Alfred took the first suit off the hanger and quickly began to change, praying it wouldn’t look overly baggy on his emaciated figure.

He carefully stepped out of the changing room in a dark blue jacket and matching dress pants, awaiting a reaction from the Englishman.

Arthur looked pensive, with a hand on his chin in thought as he assessed Alfred’s outfit.

It was making him kinda nervous.

“Sooo, what do you think?”

Arthur came forward to button the first button on the jacket, and to hike up the pants so they weren’t hanging so low off Alfred’s hips. Alfred managed to not overtly blush at the manhandling, just letting Arthur tweak and correct any imperfections he saw.

At last he sighed and shook his head. “No, I’m afraid that look just doesn’t quite work for you. Let’s try the next.”

Alfred let out a sigh of his own, he had been secretly hoping for the ‘one and done’ kind of shopping trip but alas, the universe was not on his side today. He begrudgingly returned to the dressing room to try on the next suit, which turned into the next suit, which turned into the next…like seriously, Arthur was so picky! It wasn’t Alfred’s fault that he couldn’t rock the professional look like his British companion could.

When he finally emerged with one of the only remaining suits left to try on, he was expecting Arthur to turn it away like all the others, but instead Arthur’s eyes widened and he leaned forward.

“Ah! That one! It exudes classiness and sensibility. It’s bloody perfect. Finally, my god I thought we were never going to find one.” He smiled so beautifully at Alfred then that the taller man’s heart skipped a beat.

“Y-you really think so?” Alfred asked. Curse his stammering.

“Yes! It fits you exceptionally well,” he turned to a clerk in a nearby aisle. “Excuse me sir, we would like some advice on this suit that he has on. Do you think it needs to be hemmed at all?”

The dark-haired clerk came over to them before stopping abruptly.

“Alfred…is that really you?”

Oh shit. It was his old coworker and good friend, Kiku! What the hell was he doing working in this store?

He couldn’t keep that question to himself apparently. “Kiku oh my god! Long time no see! What are you doing here??” He put his hand out which Kiku took as the two shared a friendly handshake.

“Ah, I work here now. I stopped working at the videogame company only a little bit after you left. You were right about that place – so hostile and unpleasant.”

“I know right! I guess it’s a good thing you weren’t there for much longer after I got the boot, I bet you were hella bored,” he laughed merrily.

Kiku smiled tight and warm in response and then changed the subject. “I am surprised you are here in a suit, Alfred. This must be a very special occasion. Are you going to an event with your boyfriend?”

Alfred blushed from ear to ear as he looked to Arthur frantically. “Ohh no no hahaha he’s not- this is just my friend, Arthur! Sorry I totally forgot to introduce you guys.”

The Japanese man looked embarrassed as well. “Oh I’m very sorry, I should not have assumed anything,” he turned to Arthur and bowed slightly. “It is nice to meet you.”

Arthur lowered his head a bit as a show of courtesy. “Pleasure to meet you, Kiku.”

The blue-eyed man looked between the two, thrilled that one of his best friends and his newest friend were getting along nicely, albeit a tad awkward at the ‘boyfriend’ mention.

“The suit isn’t for an event of any kind, by the way. We were looking for something he could wear in a professional setting,” Arthur began, steering the conversation back to the reason they were in the store in the first place. “How do you think it fits him?”

Kiku approached Alfred to measure the lengths of the sleeves and pant legs against his body, and Alfred didn’t miss the frown at his Japanese friend’s lips. Suddenly nervous, he pulled absentmindedly at the lapels of the jacket. “Well? Do I look good or what?” He laughed anxiously.

“I believe it is a good fit for you. If the pants feel too long, I will recommend getting a little trimmed at the bottom, but I do not think it is necessary. With the proper shoes, I think this suit is a good match.”

Alfred looked to Arthur for his approval as well so he could finally get this damn thing off and into the regular comfortable clothes that were beckoning him from inside the changing room.

At last he was permitted to change and when he emerged, he carried the pristine suit over his arm, trying his best not to wrinkle or tamper it, lest he incur the Englishman’s wrath (and perhaps his Japanese friend’s wrath as well, though that was much rarer).

The two men had been engaging in small talk but stopped once Alfred was in front of them.

“Shall I get this paid for then?” Arthur questioned as he took the suit from Alfred’s arm.

“How expensive is it?” Whoops, didn’t mean to let that one slide out.

Arthur fished the price tag out of the fold and glanced down. “Not too bad, especially for this label, definitely worth it.” With that, he turned on his heel and headed to the register.

Alfred narrowed his eyes before he turned to Kiku. “How much is that suit?” He knew his friend wouldn’t lie to him, and now he had to know.

The shorter man looked uncomfortable. “It is around five hundred and fifty dollars.”

Blue eyes widened to abnormal proportions. “F-fi…five HUNDRED? Oh my god… That is literally insane. I can’t believe he’s doing this,” he murmured the last part mostly to himself but Kiku heard it anyway.

“Your friend is buying that for you? He is very generous,” there was a question of ‘why’ hanging in the air between his words but Alfred wasn’t going to indulge his curiosity, not now at least.

“Yeah he is. He’s a great guy,” Alfred said truthfully.

“Alfred, can I ask you a question? It is unrelated.”

“Yeah of course.”

“You look very different from the last time I saw you. Much more thin, and tired. Are you okay?”

Alfred gulped and rubbed the back of his neck, feigning ignorance. “Yeah dude I’m okay, I just lost some weight is all.”

His friend studied him for a moment before replying, “I know you better than that, I think. You seem to be lying.”

Okay but did Kiku really have to call him out like that? Couldn’t they all pretend everything was fine and dandy? He had never known his friend to be so direct with him before, apparently Alfred wasn’t the only person that had changed since they last saw each other.

He was trying to formulate his response when he saw Arthur making his way over to them with the newly purchased suit in tow.

This wasn’t the kind of conversation he wanted to have in general, least of all in front of Arthur. He definitely missed Kiku and wouldn’t mind hanging out again in the future, and maybe by then he would be able to open up about the struggles he had faced over the last half-year, but now just wasn’t the right time.

“Kiku, it was really great seeing you, but I think we’re going to head out now.” He tried to smile without giving away his discomfort as he turned away toward the door.

Arthur stopped him, “Oh we’re in no rush. If you’d like to stay and chat with him, it’s no issue.”

The dark-eyed man kept glancing between the two of them, no doubt evaluating the situation and trying to come to a reasonable conclusion for why Alfred was acting so weird. Alfred didn’t blame him for wanting more information, but this was just so freakin’ awkward!

At last Kiku opened his mouth again. “I should help other clients again anyway, so I do not mind if you need to leave. But first I want to invite you to my apartment next week, I am having friends over for a videogame party. We will try out all these new games I got recently. Do you want to come?”

It wasn’t often that Alfred was left speechless, but this was one of those times. He had no idea what to say.

“Uhhh, I– uhhhh,” he sputtered gracefully.

“You do not need to give me an answer now!” Kiku supplied urgently, “You can always text me when you decide.”

Alfred nodded dumbly in response.

“Do you still have my phone number? I have tried texting you multiple times the last few months but you didn’t answer. I was unsure if you lost your phone, or if you got a new number.”

Sweat was starting to drip down Alfred’s temple, and his hands were clenching and unclenching at their own accord. He thought back to the crappy phone with a cracked screen he hadn’t been able to use in months, that was currently stuffed in his tote bag at Arthur’s place. He hadn’t used it since the battery died after he had been forced out of his apartment, and he obviously couldn’t pay his phone bill so it wasn’t like he could use it for anything other than the stupid game apps he had installed to stave off boredom. Suddenly he thought about how many calls he had missed, how many texts had gone unanswered. Looking down, he hadn’t realized his eyes started to water.

So, so much shame.

Arthur’s worried hand was on him in an instant and he heard Kiku start to frantically reconcile for damage that he didn’t cause.

“Alfred, forgive me, I did not mean to make you upset. You do not need to answer about the party or the phone. I only asked because I miss your company.”

And if that just about made Alfred burst into tears right there…

“N-no it’s okay. Sorry, I just-” he wiped at his face desperately, hoping that the other patrons weren’t looking in their direction witnessing him cascade into a state of panic. He took a couple of deep breaths as Arthur continued to squeeze his shoulder soothingly.

“Kiku, I-” he tried and failed to even his voice out.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. You don’t need to speak right now,” said Arthur gently. Alfred took another deep breath, feeling himself calm immensely from the Englishman’s pacifying voice and comforting touch.

This time when he wiped at his face, the tears didn’t reappear. And when he felt prepared, he lifted his head to look at the two worried men in front of him.

“Thank you. I just…Kiku I want to tell you everything that happened since I got fired from that shithole of a company, but I’m not ready yet. Just know that I haven’t been able to use my phone in months, so honestly I don’t know how I can contact you.” He shook his head sadly.

“Do you havea phone?” Arthur asked him, seemingly perplexed at the notion.

“Yeah, I do. It’s long-dead though. Not sure if it’ll turn on when I charge it but I can try. And I’m not gonna have service or anything since I don’t have a phone plan anymore.”

At this, Arthur perked up. “Oh don’t worry yourself with that! We’ll get you set up with a new plan and everything, not a trouble at all.”

Alfred stared at him, debating whether or not to fight the offer, but already knowing how it would play out. How quickly they had developed a pattern of behavior.

He smiled at him, “Thanks dude, you’re the best. Seriously.”

Arthur blushed slightly, “Nonsense.” Then he faced Kiku before taking out his own phone. “I can take down your information just in case the data was lost and we need to get him a new one.”

Kiku smiled and exchanged information with Arthur whilst the tallest of the group watched on.

At last they all said their goodbyes (and Kiku was blessed with a tight hug from Alfred) before the two blondes exited the store. They had only made it a couple of paces on the sidewalk before Arthur turned to him and stated, “You have good taste in friends.”

Alfred couldn’t help but agree.

[canaryatlaw]

okay, so. most of the day was fairly boring lol as expected but tonight of course was super awesome. I had set a 1 pm wake up if you’re not already awake alarm but I ended up waking up to my phone buzzing right at 11 am, it was a Chicago number so I answered and chatted with this guy from this legal company that does boring shit like document review and is doing like part time temporary hiring projects, which would obviously be a short term fix as I’m still looking for full time employment, but they pay like $20 an hour (and you don’t technically have to be licensed for some of their stuff, so being that I am licensed I miiiiiight get to do some more intense stuff for more pay? Idk, have to see) so I have an 11 am Skype interview scheduled with them for tomorrow morning to chat about that stuff. I’m obviously not like dying to get this job or anything but it’d be nice to have some income while I’m still looking, like if I did like 15-20 hours a week that’s $300-$400 so that’s not insignificant. I’m just gonna be super upfront with them about the fact that I’m seeking permanent employment and if I start anything with them there is a solid chance I will up and leave with fairly short notice, and if they’re not okay with that then we won’t do it, but I get the feeling since a lot of their shit is short term they’ll probably be okay with it. So after I got off that phone call I looked up the number for Ulta and called them to push back my haircut appointment which was booked for 12, I was trying to do think if there was somewhere I could plant myself downtown and do a Skype interview to then just run to the appointment but I obviously don’t want to do like, starbucks, and beyond trying to sneak into my old student org office at school (that’s no longer mine obviously) there’s not very many options, so I was hoping we could just push the haircut back a bit till like 2 and she happened to have an opening then so that was perfect because she gets booked up fairly consistently, so I lucked out there. After that I was lazy and went on my phone for a bit before getting up and going on my laptop at the kitchen table while I ate breakfast and then eventually moved over to the couch and was just listening to podcasts while on my computer for a while, then ended up watching the pilot of the new amazon prime show “Hanna” that’s not actually premiering to March but they were making the pilot available for like 24 hours after the superbowl for some reason and I was fairly intrigued by that (I never did actually see the movie its based on) and it was okay I guess? I wasn’t like super enthralled in it but I may give it a try for a few episodes when it comes out. The main actress is pretty good, but she’s a lot older than I thought she was (she actually turns 19 like, today) when I thought she was more like 13 or 14. and she’s apparently not been in much of anything up to this point, so good for her. After that I just turned the tv off and listened to more Panic music since I downloaded a bunch last night on top of what I downloaded after the concert last week so I could be more familiar with that while doing some computer stuff and trying to get some more Batwoman comic reading done. I was trying to see what they had on DC Universe before switching over to Comixology (which I have to pay for) but they only have issues 1-12 of her new 52 run which is apparently significantly longer than that and I burned through those very quickly, and the other ones on there are basically just one-off appearances in a random Batman story. So I guess I’ll read those then see what I can get on Comixology (they apparently have a subscription thing now which may be more affordable than paying for each comic, I’ll have to see what’s the deal with that). Around 4:30 I started getting ready, tried to do my make up very carefully and ended up trying to use my liquid eyeliner on my bottom lid which I normally don’t do but I like accidentally got some on there when trying to get it on my top lid (not sure how I managed to do that) and wanted to see if I could do the rest. It turned out pretty good in the immediate aftermath at least, but when I got home it had migrated down my face a good bit which is basically my biggest pet peeve with black eyeliner so I probably won’t be doing that again (I’m gonna see if I can find a better one at Ulta/Sephora tomorrow, since I’ll be at the Ulta and there’s a Sephora down the street and I want to find something that’s a Sephora brand product. There’s apparently also a Sally’s around there which I may also hit up for some hair dyeing supplies). But I finished getting ready and got on the bus at like 5:30 to meet Jess at her work so we could go straight to the concert from there, I was supposed to get there slightly before she got off so she could use it as an excuse to leave but the bus was being uncooperative (as public transit often is) and I ended up not getting there until like right when she got off, but it wasn’t a big deal because we weren't really in a rush being that we knew Panic didn’t actually take the stage until like, 8:30 lol. We stopped at a mcdonalds drive thru on the way where we got twenty nuggets, two cokes, and a medium fries (it’s always a debate about how many nuggets to get, because Jess is like “but I want more than 10″ when we’re splitting 20 but it’s more expensive to order 30 nuggets than it would be to order 40 nuggets and that’s just way too many (we did try that once) so I was saying we could do a 20 and a 6 piece but ended up just going with the 20 for us to split. Drove the rest of the way out, the concert was out by the airport which is a bit of a hike but we’re used to going there because most Chicago cons are in a venue that’s right by there. There was fairly massive traffic getting into the venue, and we had some momentary panic (no pun intended) regarding paying for parking because we didn't have any cash and didn’t know if they’d take card, but luckily they did so that crisis was averted. of course it’s bullshit that they’re charging $25 to just park in their giant ass parking lot, but that’s life for ya. Once we parked we had to kinda run to the venue because it was cold and we were both bumming it without our regular coats (I had a leather jacket on) so we were happy when we got in there. Got in without issue, climbed up the stairs to the top level of course and found our seats. We were literally like, the furthest section back on the side before the other seats just weren’t sold because you couldn’t be able to see (the other half of our section was actually closed off) but despite that we actually had a fairly good view and could see most of everything, just mostly from a side view and sometimes the back, lol. I was pumped though because I spent like all of last week wishing I could relive the concert and now I was getting to do that, so I was very excited. The new perspective was interesting, we got to see things from different angles which was interesting, like him popping up onto the stage when he first came out and just jumps up so it looks like he just gets shot out at fairly high speed lol. The set list was the same of course, except I’ve been listening to the music all week and actually knew the vast majority of the songs this time and could sing along, so I felt accomplished for that. I did manage to take a good amount of videos that I posted all on my instagram story if you want to check those out (@ racheleiley) and this time I didn’t ugly sing while recording lol so they’re better quality than the ones from last week. But yeah it was really good, I still got super anxious and cringey when he was on the floating piano above the crowd and very clearly not strapped into anything and like, going to the edge of the platform and I like, couldn’t watch because it stressed me out too much lol but thankfully he made it back okay. When Girls/Girls/Boys came on we hadn’t gotten the little paper colored hearts to put over our cell phone lights this time because we were in the reject section that was mostly empty, but it was still enjoyable and he definitely had no less than 10 pride flags thrown onstage at him during it which he picked every single one up and draped them over him and he was like “this is a record” which was great. But yeah, I really enjoyed all of it. When he came back out for the encore someone threw a little teddy bear onstage and he was like “aw, this is the cutest teddy bear, I’m keeping this” and put it in his back pocket as he kept performing and it was really fucking cute lol. He must be in really good shape to be doing this sometimes multiple times a week because it’s so much energy expended and his voice is so strong to be able to handle it (makes sense that he did a stint on Broadway). But yeah, I enjoyed it a lot and got much better videos this time so I’m pleased with that. Once it ended we managed to get out of the parking lot relatively quickly, definitely a lot quicker than we expected because we kinda cut around part of the line to get to the exit faster (sorry not sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️) and then made it the rest of the way home, and Jess made me walk back to my place from her apartment instead of dropping me off which she could’ve VERY EASILY done, but she was being a butt and trying to get payback because she always has to make the walk when we hang out at my place (which we do the vast majority of the time). So I walked home, thankfully it wasn’t too cold, and then spent a while uploading the videos to my instagram story because it was being uncooperative while at the concert so I had to do them all after. My roommate got home shortly after I did and somehow managed to leave her keys in the front door, but now our front door wouldn’t unlock, so she was gonna go around the back to get to the front and asked if I had my front door key, which I thought she meant the front door to our apartment, so I gave her that she disappeared. Not long after I could hear someone calling my name so I went to the front door and was like ??? yes??? but she wasn’t at the door and I was thoroughly confused as to where she could be until it occurred to me that maybe she was locked outside, so I went down the backstairs to the back door where she was in fact stuck, we had a slight miscommunication on the key situation and she couldn’t get the front door of the building to open because I gave her the wrong key, whoops, but we got it figured out and fixed the door situation so that was good. After that was settled I got in the shower and started getting ready for bed and now I am here. I’ve been writing this post for about 40 minutes and it’s now 2 am, I have to get up at at least 10:30 tomorrow to make sure I’m presentable for the Skype interview so I think I should get to bed now. Goodnight loves. Have a lovely Tuesday.

[suddenly-n-octopus]

I would like to see answers for all. :3

For you? Always.flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? “Please dont throw your looooove away–please dont throw your loooooove away”

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? If she would ever chose to be with me.

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? I dont have one. I dont even know what that is.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?My best friend and I talking about our fears in meeting each other finally. They turned out to be the same for her and after all this time i was surprised she still felt the same way. It may not happen but it felt good that she still considered the idea.(that context though)

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Yes.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? Make a popular selling video game. Turn said videogame into an on-going multi seasoned series/anime. Own an Owl.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. She calls herself a panda,she loves books and chocolate. Dawson’s creek and gilmore girls are her go to shows. She can get tunnel vision when she gets angry. She hates her middle name with a passion. Shes a pyromaniac. Opal is one of her all time favorite stones. She cant dance. Can hold her liquor for a while. She has been an author, violinist, jeweler, carpenter, mechanic, pharmacy tech, and now a dispatcher. She’s tired. 

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? I sorta didnt.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? Thanksgiving

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.My best friend, ironically she lives in an area where the sky could be seen without the city lights interfering. I mean…its stargazing, you’d want someone you love to be with you to watch them right? we’d look at the stars and talk about them and their meanings..or rather what we thought would be their meanings with me mostly making terrible jokes.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?Yes

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? Um. *waits* its 3a.m. now so ..you. You are a kind friend to me. I am grateful.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? Thats easy, i say it to myself daily when i think about this question. To my best friend: I love you for until always.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? Underrated and beautiful. FUCK.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. “That doesnt go there” -story of my life.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? HA.. “That doesnt go there”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? Thats a long one, first id go see my best friend..give her family money, pay mine and my mother’s bills, buy a place for my mom and sis, then buy a place for me, get a transplant for my kidney and pancreas, buy some waffles, pay for my sister’s college.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? I am not.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self Save your money. Find her.Go to the doctor as much as possible. find her. listen and remember what grandaddy is teaching you. show him that you arent a waste of his knowledge. find her. say yes when the time comes. dont let friendship ruin your chance to finish. find her dammit. fucking find her. keep up with all of your games, dont trust anyone where you leave them. tell uncle joe you love him. tell tiffany that you like her too. but find her. watch the tribe more and find her. dont let them get to you. you arent trying to be white. you are being yourself because thats how you were raised. find her please.

.pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? Pastel probably.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain i love tattoos and would lke to get some of my own but i dont heal well anymore. i think they express a lot about yourself and what you love.

.piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? Nah…i mean..should i??? my lashes are all natural honey :o

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. I dont have a song that has affected my life.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. Chaos is inevitable, all men must die. 

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.Never been to one QQ

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?Irina, a friend of mine who disappeared some years ago. She promised me that she wouldnt do so and…i havent gotten over that so the letter would be telling me where she is and if she is okay. I miss her.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? I have a fold out table where my laptop sits. Not organized.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? I dont have a set routine for anything in my life. I never seem to maintain a schedule. so it varies.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? That i used to watch their porn that they stashed away terribly.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? my hair is short so a dark blue, i like blue but green is my favorite.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? five people? huff i have to know five people. *waves the thought* we’d go to the beach!!! my best friend hasnt been to one since she was a kid so definitely her, my only guy friend and his girl..thats three…uh…oh my guy friends girl’s friend…and uh…this is hard since none of who i am talking about actually lives anywhere near me or within a 1000 miles.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. goodness. um. to be healthy–no more health issues, my body functions normally and everything works. thats probably two wishes. so the last one would be..i wish that i was successful.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.I once went as a disco guy. yuh, my best costume ever.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? texted my best friend over some issues we were having…again. *cough*

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? Kill innocent people

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?my best friend. because i love her more than anything and anyone. I would rather see her for the remainder of my life than what the world has to offer.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.I have, I am. the feeling is like knowing that you are getting something you really want and its coming to you, that anticipation of it getting there and you having it, but the anticipation is a constant. it wells withing stomach and rises into your chest but never out of your mouth or body, it just stays there.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? I keep black, gun metal grey and warm grey nail polish at all times.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? caramel macchiato and im rather trusting of anyone really.

 marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? my best friend.

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 31-32, Interludes I-1 to I-3

Short one this time, but it’s the end of Part One and the Interludes, so I can start the next one off directly at Part Two.

Chapter Thirty-One – Demands of the Storm

Finally we get another Kaladin chapter. I've missed you.

No wonder nobody's heard news out of Revolar for a while now.

[laughs] Again thinking like a soldier, Kaladin. Cities usually aren't so organized as warcamps; they grow in a more organic fashion.

(As ever, Kaladin is proud of the newest of his adoptions.)

There's going to have to be a complete social upheaval one way or another. No more Parshmen, maybe eliminate slavery entirely. That's certainly something you can throw your weight behind, Kal. To take part in a war, though…

I love how Syl is hiding between his collar and hair. Those glorious, thick curls are serving a purpose other than just making him pretty, for once.

A Parshman in warform, and with a strong Rhythm! But not with red eyes – warform isn't one of those associated with Voidspren. Whoop, but there is a red-eyed one, and they're calling that kind/form 'the Fused'. Definitely Odium at work here.

Yep, time to make like the wind and fly.

Syl, let him have the gloryspren! Still, Syl getting jealous-protective of Kaladin omg

Kal, she's not a GPS

Hovering above a city as a storm roars in probably isn't the best place to talk to Syl about ethics, but it definitely needed to be said. For all that she's been with him for quite a while now, she still has a rather limited view of the world, and doesn't always understand the chain of cause-and-effect.

“It's about what you see as right and wrong.” “For once, I'd like my moral code to not come with a list of exceptions at the end.” Thank you Sanderson for giving them time to talk about that part of the bond and Oaths, because that's needed to be discussed for a while now.

Thank goodness he saw the people and got down to help them. It was hinting from the start that they were out in the open and vulnerable to the storm.

OOP, ONE OF THE FUSED

Dark stormlight? Dark stormlight? Will that be fueled by normal highstorm Investiture, or only the Everstorm?

Aaaaand they can fly. Of course they can.

...are you seriously going to argue with the Stormfather to stop the storm itself. I- of course you are. The Kholin Extra(TM) has been rubbing off on you, hasn't it.

Well, that didn't work. You being you, though, you're still going to try and save the ones down below.

!!!! Did. Did you just airbend. This must be one of the unique combination feats of Gravitation+Adhesion – unless it's something that can be accomplished via Gravitation alone. Whatever it was, you managed so save people. Not all of them, but some.

“Just listen to the piece of nature incarnate, okay?” Syl you are a delight.

Chapter Thirty-Two – Company

Tea and shock blankets – at least Palona knows what this girl needs right now.

Oooo, so that's where Renarin knew the name from – possibly in combination with Truthwatcher abilities, but it's good to know that Re-Shephir is part of their actual mythology.

Imagining a human eventually getting warped into that is terrifying. If the Unmade were Splinters of Odium, perhaps they once hosted in humans and eventually changed them like the holders of the Shards.

If the rest of the Unmade are creepy body-horror things, then I'd suspect the cremling-guy from Edgedancer, no matter what he said. That was nightmare fuel.

Let everyone shower you with compliments, Shallan, you deserve it. Bravery is in standing up to things that terrify you.

Wait, is that…?

It is.

Jasnah: [waltzes into Urithiru half a year late with Starbucks] What'd I miss.

Jaaaassssssnaaaaaaaah~

End of Part One

Interlude One – Puuli

Excited for the new storm? You mean the Everstorm? Well, to each their own….

[squints] Are you killing all of this lady's husbands? You are the lighthouse-keeper. Then again, sailing on Rosharan seas is a dangerous business. Especially on the stormlands-end of the continent.

Ooo, this must be in the New Natanatan area. But blue skin was an Aimian trait if I remember correctly, and nothings been noted about your shadow

….”hidden island of the Origin”. Say what now. Mythology or forgotten history, I wonder…

'They'll arrive when the night is darkest.' - And they come to destroy. Could be Voidbringers, could be the rest of the Unmade. Either way, I doubt they're allies.

Interlude Two – Ellista

A monastery! Oh man, please give us a scene of Vorin ardents flipping their shit over the return of the Knights Radiant.

Okay, so it's not about the Radiants, but we've got Arguing Ardents. However, they're arguing in a library. She should have knocked them upside the heads for that.

This poor woman cannot get any peace to simply read!

When in doubt, abandon the populated places entirely. Good choice.

….are you reading a bodice-ripper romance. You are. And you're having the time of your life.

This thing is all overblown purple prose and it's amazing. Good to know that Roshar has a flourishing trade in scandalicious romance novels.

Are ardents even supposed to be allowed stuff this raunchy?

“Important works.” Terribly important. Essential to the future of all Roshar, this reading.

[snorts] Opaque politics? My dear Ellista, perhaps that might be true of Navani, and formerly of Gavilar, but the rest of them? Hah.

These translations the ardents are working on could be the key to information later on, now that we know the libraries of Urithiru are ruined (hopefully not beyond repair, but not holding out hope for that).

HE READ THE ROMANCE TOO. AND THE SEQUEL

“has to choose between a strapping naval officer, a Thaylen banker, and the King's Wit.” ….did Hoid write this. Did Hoid write this dirty romance novel just for the sheer glee of it.

“Sequels always have to be bigger.” Taking a potshot at yourself in your own book, Sanderson? At least you have a good sense of humor about it.

Interlude Three – The Rhythm of the Lost

Venli?! Oh I have a bone to pick with you over how you treated Eshonai last book-

Rhythm of Craving? Oh that's not good. Command Rhythm being related to Appreciation… I'm not sure what to think about that, because on one hand it goes towards emotional manipulation, but on the other it's more of the Kholin “show honor to your men and they shall return it” vibe. It's treading a very, very fine line.

New Voidspren, one that looks like “rolling lightning”. Possibly the same type of spren that transforms them into stormform.

Oooo, Venli is not happy about not being the one giving orders. Did you think that because you spearheaded the plan for the Parshendi change to stormform and the summoning of the Everstom that you'd be elevated to a position of greatness?

[winces] You just wanted to save your people. Terrible choices with terrible consequences, but you felt backed into a corner. Decisions or extinction.

Ah, so 'lesser spren' are used for the form-changes, got is. Perhaps not even sentient ones.

Oh. Oh no. That's Eshonai, but the blade is materialized. That can only mean…

Fuck. Fuck. I really, really wanted you to be alive. Fuck. I'm really distraught over this, give me a moment.

….

[flings open second-story window] ESHONAI DESERVED BETTER!

I'm going to have to write an Eshonai+exile!Adolin swordbros AU myself to rectify this goddamn tragedy on some level.

[deep breath] Okay. Okay. Back to the continuation of canon. Eshonai's dead, Odium-spren Ulim just wanted to find her for the Plate, but Venli… Venli's singing a Rhythm of mourning – an old Rhythm.

Shiiiit, no wonder the Parshendi hate people touching their dead. Mutilating the bodies to look for gemhearts? That's fucking sickening.

YEAH, GO VENLI. SNAP BACK AT THAT ASSHOLE

“the spren of redemption” aaahahahahaha bullshit

Wait, can Voidspren – even just spren in general – sense Shardic influence? How else would Ulim know that the Alethi “stink of Honor”? And would he recognise, say, a Scadrian by the feel of Ruin and Preservation permeating them? Or, better question, the influence of a Shard on human-types transplanted from Yolen, as opposed to humans created by Shards in the image of the Yolenese, like Scadrians? (My theory that Rosharan-humans were created rather than transplanted grows.)

[hums] He didn't deny that “your ancestors” were dead, only said they were in charge. It's not a spren in charge then, but some kind of ancient Voidbringer(s) – perhaps not actually alive, but returned (hah) somehow? Or maybe both, if the Voidbringer(s) is/are bonded to a Voidspren.

Oh, Venli

….you're attracting a spren. A true spren. Ohhhhh……

[forgettingdanielle]

Aesthetic asks, all of them.

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?-earlier today, cleaning my house. fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?-if I end up doing okay in life. I’m so afraid of failing. daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?-making myself become slightly more social. Although I am still working on this, I feel happier. 1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?-Probably when I used to hangout with my cousins all the time. Now we’ve all grown up and never see each other. Also tied with clearing things up with my oldest brother. matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?-maybe try to be less nervous about things. Just let things happen and go with the flow. black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?-I don’t think I necessarily have a bucket list. I have things I’d like to do someday. 1.) go to Ireland. 2.) go back to the ocean.3.) move to Washington/Oregon. Visiting there a few months ago was the most alive I’ve felt. pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.-Dark hair. Oftentimes like a sour patch kid. Makes me smile. Sometimes knows how to comfort me, other times knows when to leave me alone. Makes me laugh. Doesn’t understand how much I care about him. Messy but lovable. moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?-sometimes I did, sometimes I didn’t. Up until about 7 or so I think it was decent. stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?-I don’t normally cry in front of people. Keep it to myself, it’s much easier. plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.-I’d want someone who actually would enjoy it to the fullest, so maybe my good friend Larry? converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?-I probably wouldn’t open up completely but I’m more than willing to have a conversation. lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?- jeeeeeeeze, I don’t normally stay up that late. Lol it’s been over a year because it was with Larry I’m pretty sure, when he was still stationed in Cali I think. handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?-I would probably choose Justin and just to let him know I love him. cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?-I’ve always loved brown eyes. They always seem so deep and loving. sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.-“keep your face to the sun and you won’t see the shadow” basically, keep your head up and stay positive. oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?-fuck I don’t know. “Keep going”overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?- probably pay off my debt, buy a house and save the rest. Help out family and friends and try to help others as well. combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?-I feel as if I can be depending the situation. I give a lot of people second chances but if you fuck the second chance up too, that’s on you and I’m done. winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.-Hey. I know shits rough right now but you’ll come out of it. The girls that are bullying the fuck out of you right now are cowards who later on will want to be friends. Tell them to fuck off. Do your best in school and don’t worry so much. Your family life will not change much so try to get used to it earlier on. You will no longer be best friends with the boy you used to walk home with everyday and that’s okay. He’ll show his true colors and you won’t need that in your life. Don’t cry after hanging up that phone call. Don’t let it have that much power over you. Just be the best you that you can be and try to let the rest fall off your shoulders. It will be hard, I know. But you’re amazing and you will do fine. pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?- I think I’m right in the middle. I don’t know. tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.-I love them. I have 9 tattoos and will be getting my 10th in another month or so. Express the fuck out of yourself. Do what makes you happy. piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?-I feel like I do. It makes me feel so much better about myself, its unreal. I’ve worn makeup almost every day since 7th grade and that’s kind of sad to think about. bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.-owl city-fireflies. No detail. messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.-be nicer. Lol that kind of sucks but it’s all I have. cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.-Sara Evans- first concert, went with my brother and Larry. It was awesome. -Scotty McCreery- he was so amazing. -Dierks Bentley, Jon Pardi, Cole Swindell- the best concert I’ve been to yet. The adrenaline was unreal and everybody was so happy and crazy. I loved it. grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?-I think my maternal grandmother, i would want an apology for how she treated me up until the point that I was old enough to walk away. space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?-i do have a desk at work, and i hate if it’s not organized. Everything needs to be in its place. white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?-Wipe off makeup, wash face, brush teeth, bathroom, make the bed how I want it, lay down, set alarm, lay in bed for hours until passing out. old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?-the full story of all the shit I’ve gone through that they vaguely know about. beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?-maybe a darker brown. I don’t really know. eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?-Probs our group of friends, Justin, Bre, Josh, Maycie and Sean. I don’t know where we’d go. Maybe the beach or something? 11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.-more money: so I’m not stressed the fuck out about bills and shit. -my family to understand: they don’t seem to fully understand how I feel about our situation and they don’t seem to care either. -more free time: I feel like I’m constantly doing something. I never have time to relax and do things I’m interested in. painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.-maybe the year I went as minion, I did it completely myself and looked cute as fuck. Lollightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?-I cried to a room of strangers about how shitty I felt about how my family was treating me. thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?-make someone feel bad. storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?-I would probably pick Justin. One song would suck. love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.- I have. It feels like pure bliss to me. Being completely happy doing even the littlest of things with someone you love. clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?-I have had really short hair and I hated it. Lolcoffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?-Peppermint mocha is my go to. And I don’t care who gets it as long as they get it. Lolmarble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?-to succeed. To make a happy life for myself and the people I love.

[loveaningenue]

Taylor Swift’s 2005-2006 MySpace Comments

Taylor’s alleged MySpace comments in a chronological order from 2005 to 2006. (Time of posts on 24h). Pictures of the comments were too blurry, so I didn’t add, but if needed, I have them saved in a file if anyone needs proof. 

NB: All the comments are replies to unknown posts by her friends, so the context is unknown. 

Sep 3, 2005 13:08

I am obsessed with you.

If you look out your window and down the street about 200 yards, you may see a big white van parked on the street. I am inside the van with a telescope and computer. Just trying to catch a glimpse of kelsey dammmnnn morris.

haha. end of story.

Sep 5, 2005 1:37

AWWWW brittany I miss you so much. And yes, I can verify that you do know every word to that song. I love you for it. :-) . Prom was incredible and thankyou so much for everything you’re ever done in the past to make me feel welcome into that whole group. You have always been so nice to me. Thankyou for everything. You may not have noticed but it really meant a lot to me. 

Sep 6, 2005 3:26

LACEY LACEY LACEY

I’m in love with you.

There’s no other way around it.

hehe

Sep 10, 2005 2:01

Pretty girl.

I could away twenty and knock on your door and ask you how you’ve been...

But I think I’ll just sit here and type it. Tell me how you’ve been, child. taylor

Sep 11, 2005 21:09

I have the same name as your boyfriend.

Therefore I am better than everyone and you should like me more.

taylor

Sep 14, 2005 20:43

HOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEEN

{haha i love you and your pretty crown}

taylor

Sep 18, 2005 11:56

Kelsey’s awesome. And got best smile. And should have gotten everything else. Hahah iloveyou

Sep 17, 2005 11:30

uhhh..

“I shot some guy with a flare gun” -sahara

best line ever.

Sep 21, 2005 23:26

WE NEED ONE MORE SCANTRON

Sep 30, 2005 17:06

I have one word for you.

Chorttle.

{bitch}

Oct 11, 2005 23:13

Everybody watch Kelsey’s scrolling pictures of her friends until you get the one of shelby.

Her boobs look AMAZING.

hahahahahahaha

Oct 18, 2006 16:36

RELINQUISH THIS TOME FOOLERY YOU ELFISH KNAVE.

- a prime example of the shit we OUGHT to learn in English class.

Oct 31 2005 8:12

i read your complaining comment about how your not abigails tip 8. well, how could you be? I’M THERE. TAKING YOUR SPOT HAHAhAHAHA. (evil laugh, you know the drill). Well, anyway, listen my queer fellow. I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes, i do believe i am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up. farewell knave. -T-

Nov 6, 2005 0:03

If you were a guy I’d probably date you.

Just a friendly reminder

<3

Nov 26, 2005 17:54

My darling.

18 days till I get my license and  I think we’ll gave to go out in the hummer and shoot people we hate with a paintball gun out the passenger side window.

Abigail and I have been planning this for a while.

You should totally come.

We hear you have good aim.

lovelovelove -T-

Nov 26, 2005 21:50

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

{i like your headline}

and yes, I do.

lovelovelove -T-

Dec 4, 2005 22:07

Here’s a little limerick for you to solve while I waste my life away on the couch with a godforsaken migraine that is threatening my life eating ice cream out of the gallon container watching war of worlds wondering why I was fat as a 10-year-old and not cute like dakota fanning and thinking, “hey, this wouldn’t’t be so bad, everything getting blown to shit and half the world dying.. Life pretty much sucks anyway.”

I don’t want what I can get.

I fuck up what i had so i shouldn’t want it

I want what doesn’t want me Therefore I can’t get it Therefore I can’t be happy Therefore I sit in class writing notes t my equally psychotic redheaded best friend about how to achieve ultimate happiness when honestly we’re just dreamers because no one is ever permanently happy.

I have blonde hair and my name rhymes with sailor.

What am I?

Oh, fuck. It’s me.

Have an equally joyous night fa la la i love christmas

-T-

Dec 16, 2005 2:59

I’m Grant Motherfucking Wood.

I do what I want

and say the word “durr”.

iloveyoubutnotsomuchgrantwood hehehe -T-

Dec 21, 2005 0:17

I’m in England and this whole country is weird.

They’re all weird. Except for me. Who, as you know, is completely normal. 

Hey man we need to hang out when I get back. How about we combine me, my car, grant wood’s house, shelby, ally, some boys, lily and perhaps whitley, some drinks because you might get thirsty, and new year’s eve.

yeeeaahhhhhh

-T-

Dec 28, 2005 14:57

Just a little reminder to you that, even though the semester may be over..

I’m still quite obsessed with you.

haha fuck sewing machines.

lovelovelove -T-

Dec 28, 2005 

WOW I LOVE YOUR PICTURES

( i haven’t been on here in a while and technology alone fascinates me)

Hey I love you and now I know exactly where your house is, and also that Grant Wood plays guitar? Yes, he does. 

Why?

Because he’s Grant Motherfucking Wood, That’s why.

We’re hanging out New Years and I’m driving the Hummer and it will be amazing.

-T-

PS: Hi, Kelsey’s mom!

Dec 29, 2005 2:44

Lil’ Kels.

hahahhaha

I looove love love your new pictures. You are pretty, 

You’re right.. you better watch out.

Because I do what I want.

-T-

Jan 4, 2006 22:37

IM ONE OF KELSEYS BEST FRIENDS HA HA HA HA HA HA.

I’m sorry. Now that I said that I’m probably going to get kicked off the list for disorderly conduct or just simply being a loser in a public place such as the internet. 

But just to let you know. That’s pretty freakin awesome. lovelovelove -T-

Jan 8, 2006 8:53

My name is Taylor. I am not clingy. I do not want a boyfriend.

I do not show signs of wanting a boyfriend.

I do not make hints leading on to the fact that I may want a boyfriend.

So how, tell me, on EARTH is it possible for someone confuse this issue and IGNORE me because they don’t want a girlfriend.

(%(* ..)%([IOJENTI..OWI$...]WO -T-

Jan 10, 2006 0:30

Umm how about DONT listen to addie.

That’s like the most amusing picture I’ve ever seen.

Take it down?

I think not.

Jan 18, 2006 0:14

JORDAN YOU IDIOT.

The term is quite obviously FEM-bots.

Not THEM-bots..

I don’t know what goes in your clouded mind sometimes..

maybe I’m just too sexy and it distracts you. mmm i think i am correct. -T-

Jan 18, 2006 0:16

Oh P.S.

Boys with your name are not exactly as great as you.

I have had much experience with them lately.

hahaha and their girlfriends get mad ;-)

Feb 4, 2006 21:01

THAT PICTURE OF ME UP AT THE TOP IS GROSS.

THAT IS SICK TAKE IT DOWN.

It serves NO purpose other than to make me look FUGLY.

I want it off NOW.

but i loove you

Feb 5, 2006 8:14

Guess who as a thing for you.

The hottest guy in the world.

Whats the mixture of a tiger and a lion?

A WHORE.

think about it.

Feb 28, 2006 5:30

“I definitely just deep-throated the lollipop.”

Hey little girl.. do you want to know a seeker-ett?

hahaha thanks for helping me with my computer troubles. I know you bend many way for me. i like dat.

Mar 21, 2006 7:54

“Kelsey y dont u just LEAVE US ALONE.

WE R TRYIN 2B HAPPY. OMGGGGGG.”

hahahah. See, I had to write the original message with punctuations and vowels-- but I had to translate into the way SHE would write it.

But she’s not immature. She’s just not fond of correct spelling.

i love you -T-

Apr 5, 2006 7:51

LoL i KnOw!!

ExcLamAtiOn PoIntS aRe THIRD GrAdErS !! !! !!

(also notice this super cool signature I’m going to add in to the ending of this comment)

::sWiFt::

hahahah

Apr 22, 2006 18:39

PUT UP PROM PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!

And as soon as I get my laptop back, I’ll be leaving you a certain picture that I think you’ll like.

Because a certain girl might see it. lovelovelove -T-

Apr 23, 2006 14:19

(Picture)

(Picture)

(Picture)

(This is you quite obviously staring at my boobs)

Apr 24, 2006 17:56

Lyrics we live by:

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time I want what’s your and I want what’s mine

I want YOU, but I’m not giving  giving in this time.

haha i love you you’re really pretty. -T-

Apr 30, 2006 19:33

Kelsey.

I love you and I’m sorry about all the “distance”.

Distance = stupid and unnecessary.

Dude. The truth us, i miss you. Starbucks tomorrow? 

May 2, 2006 22:10

Yeah, I remember I have that photoshoot today and tomorrow. Well, its good to know I was missed. haha. Speaking of missed, I really wish you didn’t work so much because I wanted to hang out today.

lovelovelove -T-

Call me.

May 27, 2006 1:44

Dude.

The scrolling picture of your car is mad cool mannnnnn.

sweeeeet.

I stared at it for like an hour. hahaha

no really. the sad thing is, I did.

Jun 9, 2006 20:30

I CANT FIND MY PHONE.

errrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Kelsey. My lovely best friend. YOU CAME TO MY SHOWWWWWW! I didn’t know if you or ally actually came or not because I didn’t see you, thank you so much for coming. That means the world to me, you know that. I love you.

lovelovelove -T-

Jun 19, 2006 10:52

I MISS YOU AND I WANT TO SEE YOU.

I leave again tonight for north carolina but i wont be gone as long this time, and I want my best friendddd backkkkk.

I love you and ally.

lovelovelove

-T-

Jul 31, 2006 19:24

You know you’ve been away too long when your best friend doesn’t have any trace of you on her myspace anymore. Kelsey. I missss you.

I’m going over to Ally’s house tonight and if you’re not there I’m going to walk over to your house and abduct you. 

lovelovelove -T-

Here’s a LINK to the pictures of the alleged MySpace comments. 

BONUS:

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “How to make a baby”

The Joker really wants a baby and doesn’t know how to approach the subject. Last time you two talked about it your answer was an unmistakable no and he doesn’t take that kind of negative attitude from anybody, including his girl. Or so he likes to believe…

You are reading a book in front of the fireplace, sitting on the soft rug and leaning your back against the couch. The Joker is resting in his favorite armchair, reading articles about How to make your girlfriend happy on his cell. He wants to convince you to have a baby with him and things have to go the right way because he is aware he can’t force you on this one. J reads the list again and decides to try the stuff he found, maybe it will work.

1. Tell her you love her

He holds his phone with two fingers like it’s infected with some contagious virus, takes a deep breath and utters with emotionless voice:

“Pumpkin, I love you.” It sounded so cold, flatter than the flat green tea latte he orders from Starbucks all the time. He hates the taste but it’s green. Yeah, well… it makes sense to him.

“Awww, that’s nice J,” you mumble, not really paying attention. You always have to sift through what he says because he sure says a lot of things. Most of the times you just pretend to listen and find it easier to just go with the flow.

It didn’t seem you cared about his first effort and he passes his fingers through his hair, annoyed: “What a bunch of nonsense, who wrote this crap?! I should kill them,” he thinks to himself and notices there is/are no name(s) at the end of the article. Dammit, how is he supposed to punish the culprit if he doesn’t know who it is? That makes him even more irritated but decides to continue.

2. Tell her she’s beautiful

For this one J believes he needs to change spots so he comes on the couch behind you and sits so you are trapped between his legs. He starts massaging your shoulders, his gold bracelets clinking in your ears.

“Ahhh, it feels nice,” you whisper, closing your eyes, enjoying the relaxing moment.

“You’re such a pretty doll, Princess,” he leans over and tells you, waiting for a reaction. You take his hand and kiss his laughing mouth tattoo, then keep it on your face, going back to reading. That worked better, he smiles, satisfied with the accomplishment so he continues:

“Do you remember when we first met? You annoyed me so much at the meeting I followed you to your car because I wanted to kill you.”

You snort at the memory and turn the page:” Oh, yeah, how could I forget?”

“…and then I saw you bending over to reach your glove compartment with that short skirt and I realized you had no underwear on.”

“Excuse me?! I did have underwear on,” you protest, looking up to him.

“That little string doesn’t count,” he smirks and you slap his knee.

“Does to! Plus, I totally busted you staring. Are you enjoying the view, Mister J? “ you recall the question, amused.

“Remember what I answered? I would like it even better from the top.” You both start laughing like crazy; it sure was one of the most daring pickup lines you ever heard but it worked.

“Such a charmer, baby,” you sigh, chuckling, turning your attention towards your reading again.

“I know,” he has to admit, grinning. “ I sure felt I have to ask if you would like to go on a heist together sometimes.”

“ I was impressed with your approach on asking for a date so I said yes,” you rest your head on his knee, closing your book for a few moments.  “It sure was lucky you had a robbery planned for that night, I never had so much fun on a first date,” you have to admit and The Joker’s heart beats faster, happy to hear the confirmation of his awesomeness. Man I’m good! he believes without hesitation and takes a quick glance at his cell again.

3. Buy her flowers

“Y/N, I got you flowers,” he boasts before he grasps the idea he didn’t get shit.

“Oh, did you? How sweet, I love flowers,” you admit, picking around to see where they are and it clicks for J: Fuck, I have none. “Ummm, I forgot them in my car, I’ll go get them,” he gets up and heads towards the elevator, not knowing how is going to pull this one off.

“Thank you, baby !“ he hears before the elevator’s door close. You move close to the fire, wondering why he’s behaving weird but you kind of like it.

On the way to the underground parking, he passes by Frost’s office and since he always has the door opened, J sees the huge bouquet of flowers on the coffee table, no doubt a gift for his girlfriend.

He shamelessly walks in, giving Jonny a mean look and growls:

“These are mine!” and yanks the bouquet away.

“Of course, sir,” Frost is fast in agreeing since he knows better than not to keep his mouth shut at his boss’s behavior.

************

“Here, for you Pumpkin,” J gives you the flowers, kissing you and you really feel excited.

“They look so beautiful, I’ll keep them by me for a while,” you determine with such a glowing smile it makes him intrigued: Why do women always like this stuff? It’s so stupid. He goes back to his spot behind you and starts playing with your hair. He thinks he got this so he begins talking:

“You know, Pumpkin, you’re only getting older and…”

“What?!” you snap, finally paying attention. “ You’re so rude!” you pout and move away from him, placing yourself on your tummy in front of the fireplace, slamming your book around before you calm down a bit. “You’re old!” you hiss at him over your shoulder and he deeply inhales, not understanding why the truth is upsetting you so much.

It’s finally time to glance at that list again because apparently going rogue on his own it’s not working too well.

4.  Show interest in what she likes

J crawls down by your side and imitates your position, staring you down.

“What are you reading, Doll?”

“A book about villains,” you reply, frowning, bouncing your legs up and down.

“Am I in there?” he asks, getting closer to you and places his chin on your forearm.

“Nope,” you shortly answer, sniffling.

“I should be,” he states with confidence, pretending to read what you are.

You lift your shoulders up and try to ignore him. He takes a quick pick at the phone again.

5.  Let her know you’re lucky to have her

“I’m the most important one around here but I guess you have your fair amount of usefulness,” he seductively mumbles, thinking it’s the best praise he came up with so far.

“Huh?” you get upset, turning towards him and watching his silver teeth shinning in the firewood light. “Shut up, J !” and you push him away, sulking.

What the hell?! I thought she will love this for sure.

“I guess what I’m trying to say, Princess, is that it’s OK having you around,” he corrects his earlier statement, hoping for a more positive outcome.

“Whatever,” you grumble while he slowly uses two fingers to walk down your back until he reaches your shorts.

6. Cuddle up with her at home

The Joker gropes you and uses you as an anchor while really shoving himself into you. Your hair being yanked in the process doesn’t make you receptive to his tactic.

“Ouch, what are you doing?” you look at him again, suspicious. “Are you trying to tell me you wanna have sex or something? Because you don’t need all this, I always want you,” you bitterly admonish him by admitting to the truth. It flusters you how you can’t fully hate him, at least not for long periods of time.

“I’m just trying to get in your pants, literally. Why are they so hard to pull down?” J tries again and no luck, blowing a rebel strand of green hair off his face, irked because he usually doesn’t have trouble undressing you.

“Wow, that’s why you’ve been acting awkward?” you finally smile, contemplating if you should still be mad or not.

“I was acting…normal,” he grunts, fighting with your shorts and it makes you snicker at his struggle.

“Which means weird for you,” you are fast to point out. “So what’s going on?”

“Dammit, stupid shorts!” he slaps your butt and you lift yourself up a little bit so he can finally succeed in his mission. “Ohhhh, strings again,”  he delightfully growls, biting his lip.

“You know I always wear this kind of stuff because it apparently saved my life,” you roll your eyes, feeling there’s more to this behavior of his. “Hey, my eyes are up here!” you lift his chin up from your cleavage, interrupting his fun. “Tell me what’s going on.”

He takes a deep breath and swears he’s going to get rid of you if you don’t agree with him:

“Pumpkin, we should really have a baby.” And now he waits.

You stare at him without blinking for a few long seconds and it makes him uncomfortable. He never feels uncomfortable.

“Are you…are you for reals?!” you furrow your eyebrows, gasping.

“Yeah, we should have a baby, I told you before I want one,” he grinds his teeth and you sure don’t seem thrilled.

“Really???!!!! I told you I’m pregnant when you were sitting on your stupid armchair, playing on your stupid phone with something stupid for sure! You didn’t seem to care!!” you raise your voice, mad again.

His mouth just opens, he surely didn’t hear that, concentrating too much on the article that was supposed to get you to the point of wanting to have a baby.

“Oh my God, Princess, I’m gonna be a dad?!” he blurs out, his blue eyes lighting up in a way you didn’t see before and it kind of lowers your defense.

“I hope you’re going to be a better dad because as I boyfriend…I don’t know…”

He is not paying attention again.

“The Joker is gonna be a father,” he whispers, absent minded and you have to make him focus again:

“Do you still want to get in my pants or what?”

*************************

“Hey Princess!” he shouts from his desk and you turn around in the same time with your 5 year daughter that’s playing on the ground with her toys: “Yes, Daddy?” she giggles and J starts laughing in his crazy way that would normally make people cringe. The two of you are so used to it you don’t even care.

“Come sit in Daddy’s lap, would you?” he gestures and you head over with Evie running in front of you wanting to be first one. She gets on his left knee and you sit on his right one.

“Which one of us, baby?” you pull on his hair, aggravated.

He smirks, gratified on how sneaky he can be:

“Does it matter? I got you both trained!”

“Did you hear that, Evie? Daddy got us trained. What do we do when Daddy is being a smart-ass, hmmm?” you kiss her forehead and she charges at his neck, screaming:

“We bite him!!!”

“Ahhh, good girl,” you snarl, watching The Joker squirm and snicker under attack while reaching for the book you set on his desk earlier.

“Did you have time to look at this?” you ask him while he has fun with Evie and he nods no, whimpering at the small teeth grazing his skin. “Here”, you open the book in the middle, showing him what you customized for him online. “ I got you a whole chapter in the villains book, wrote it myself. This way you don’t have to wait until you die like the others.”

His eyes get big and he grins, so pleased with what you did.

“Daddy, play with me!” Evie tugs on his shirt when she notices he is paying attention to something else. She starts bouncing in his lap, impatient and you get up.

“You did this for me, Doll?”

“Oh, yeah, because I really want to get in your pants tonight. Literally,” you whisper in his ear, biting his neck too.

*********************

You’ve been making out for 10 minutes now when he stops for a few seconds to unexpectedly say: “ I love you, Pumpkin” with that emotionless tone he uses when he’s at a loss of understanding his own complicated emotions.

“Aww, that’s nice, “ you snuggle more to him and he continues: “You’re such a beautiful doll, Princess.”

Something feels…strange.

“Y/N, I got you flowers,” he moans while pulling down your bra straps. It suddenly clicks for you and you get off him, panicked.

“Oh, no! No, no, definitely not!” you back out, heading for the door.

“What?” he pretends to be all innocent. “We should have another kid, look how cute Evie is.”

“Out of the question, you know I had a horrible pregnancy,” and you run out of the door when he stands up to follow you, fed up with your rebellion. You lock yourself in the bedroom that’s the furthest from your daughter’s room so you won’t wake her. The Joker comes and softly knocks on the door, amazed he’s not pissed yet:

“ Y/N, open up! What are you going to do? You’ll never sleep with me again?!”

You debate, thinking of all the fun you have all the time, that’s why you sound doubtful when you reply:

“Ummmmm…yeeeess….”

“Open the door, don’t make me mad! Daddy wants you! Or do I have to find myself another woman?” he bangs his head against the door, sighting.

“NO!!!” you kick the door from the other side, gulping. “That’s blackmail, J, it’s not fair!” “This is what we do, Doll, you don’t like it when you are the lucky recipient?”

“NO!!!” you pout, kicking the door again. “I don’t like it!”

“Open up, yes? I want to get in your pants!” he tries the strategy and he hears you snicker. I didn’t lose my touch, he compliments his skills to his own self.

“I don’t have any pants on,” you crack the door open, hating yourself for wanting him so much.

He rests his head on the wood frame for a little bit before pushing his way in.

“Even better, makes it easier,” The Joker grins, slowly closing the door behind him.

 Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist