#a girlfriend would fix all of katies problems

[sutjak]

My Season 12 of Letterkenny bc I am underwhelmed by the actual thing :^]

- conflict between Darry and the Hicks can stay, I think that arc was important

- god please let Katie date a girl omg please god please

- BRING GAE BACK and skids move back to the city forever bc they actually thrived there

- Darry x Bonnie or Darry x Anik, either would have been nice

- Rosie moving to Vancouver makes sense so that can stay, the break up would have more dialog tho

- Devon comes back for a short time, gives some closure for his disappearance

- Jocks move onto bigger, better, more homosocial pastures

[barcaatthemoon]

should be me || leah williamson x reader ||

leah gets jealous when the team tease you about the obvious thing going on between you and rachel daly.

you sat silently in your cubby, ignoring the looks of your teammates. this game against aston villa wasn't overly important, no more than any others you'd played this season. still, you were incredibly nervous about it. your captains were all picking up on it, but they had different approaches for trying to help you.

leah tried to comfort you the best that she could, but it was little more than an awkward shoulder pat and reassuring comment. kim was much more motherly in her attempts to calm you down a bit. however, it was unfortunately katie who was the most effective with her knowing and teasing comments.

"are you excited to see your little girlfriend?" katie asked as she nudged you with her elbow. both you and leah snapped your heads towards katie to glare at her. leah's glare was all anger, but yours was annoyance. "she's been asking a lot about you. i think you've really got a chance."

"whatever," you huffed. truthfully, you would have been more than happy going out with rachel. however, there was a slight problem. she wasn't leah. nobody else was leah, and that was why all of your dates led to absolutely nothing. you wanted to be with leah, but leah didn't want to be with you.

"seriously, she's interested," katie told you.

"drop it mccabe," leah grumbled. katie put her hands up in surrender, muttering about how she only wanted to help her friends. katie didn't understand why leah always got so upset whenever arsenal played aston villa. leah and rachel were friends, at least they were until the teams met up. leah was friendlier with her national teammates who played for chelsea than she was with rachel. "you good?"

"i'm fine leah," you promised her. she smiled as she ruffled your hair a bit. you groaned as you tried to fix your hair again. you were just finishing up whenever kim called everybody to huddle up for a quick pre-game pep talk. you knew that arsenal had this game in the bag, but you still appreciated the little boost to everybody's confidence.

"quick hug before we become sworn enemies?" rachel asked. you hadn't expected to see her waiting for you as the team shuffled out of the locker room. admittedly, you had been a bit eager as you launched yourself into her arms. behind you, leah scoffed as she walked past the two of you. "i'd tell you good luck, but my mates would kill me."

"we don't need it anyway." you gave rachel a cheeky smile before you joined your team. the girls all started to tease you a bit as you found your mascot and spot in line. you knew that you had done it to yourself, but their words still made your cheeks burn bright red with embarrassment.

…

arsenal's win over aston villa was unsurprising. you hadn't scored any goals, but your two assists brought you all the pride you could handle. usually, you found yourself right by leah's side after games like this, but katie was excitedly pushing you away from the team. you were about to question her whenever she directed you towards a downtrodden rachel daly.

"go on, give her something to smile about," katie told you. she gave you a good shove, which leah missed. all the blonde saw was you walking over and sitting next to rachel. the two of you sat on the pitch for nearly 10 minutes together before you got up to take a shower.

you liked longer showers, but a good amount of the hot water had been used up. you walked back into the locker room to the stares of your teammates. this time, instead of katie starting the teasing, it was steph and caitlin. even kim joined in, which was when leah finally lost her cool.

"for the love of god, will you lot stop talking about rachel? i am sick and tired of hearing her name! we get it, she's into (y/n) and maybe (y/n)'s into her too!" leah shouted. you flinched as she stormed out of the locker room, slamming the door behind her.

"what the hell was that about?" katie asked as she glanced over towards you. in all honesty, you had no idea what leah was on about. she had never been a big fan of the jokes, but it had never seemed like something that would result in such an outburst.

"(y/n), honey, i think you should talk to leah," kim told you. she placed her hand on the small of your back as she guided you onto your feet. you didn't know why, but you were incredibly nervous as you looked for leah. she wasn't mad at you, but there was a chance that she'd blow up on you too. you didn't want to smother her, but the team had decided that you were the best person to find out what was wrong.

"leah?" you called out as you found her in an empty trainer's room. "can i sit with you?"

"surprised you're not off comforting your little girlfriend," leah grumbled. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you stared at her. at the look of confusion on your face, leah suddenly felt a bit guilty. it wasn't you who had been making all the jokes after all. if anything, you were the most innocent in the whole situation. you didn't seem to understand the situation, unlike kim and alessia, who definitely knew all about leah's feelings.

"i don't have a girlfriend. rachel and i are just friends, leah. we grew up in the same neighborhood, we're like sisters," you told her. leah had heard it a million times before, just like most of the team had. "why does it bother you so much whenever they talk about rachel? you two are friends."

"it's not just rachel, it's you and rachel that bother me. this is embarrassing to say out loud, but i get jealous," leah admitted. you didn't understand what leah could possibly have to be jealous about. the two of you weren't dating, and even if you had been, you never ever would have hooked up with rachel. you meant it whenever you said that she was like your sister.

"i'm not yours, so why are you so jealous?" you asked, a teasing lilt to your voice. leah caught onto it, and instead of getting defensive, she decided to play along. if you wanted her to stop, you were more than comfortable telling her so.

"because maybe, i think that you should be mine," leah said. she grabbed onto your jaw and leaned in close enough for you to feel her breath against your lips.

"don't play with me like this," you warned her.

"i'm not playing love," leah told you. you swallowed as your eyes flicked down to her lips. leah caught your gaze and took the hint. she didn't waste any time in teasing you, opting to press her lips against yours instead. you kissed leah back, opening your mouth just enough for the tip of her tongue to dip into your mouth. leah's hands moved to the back of your head as she pulled you even closer.

"take me home." you had been reluctant to break the kiss, but if things had gone any further, you wouldn't have been able to stop yourself. leah seemed to understand that, sighing as she got off of the table.

"not tonight, not yet. i want to do better than that for you. i'll pick you up tomorrow morning for coffee and breakfast. we can see how things go from there, okay?" leah offered.

"i never thought i'd see the day leah williamson turned away such a willing bedmate," you teased.

"trust me, it's not easy by any means, but you deserve better," leah said. you pressed a kiss to both of her cheeks before you leaned in for a final one to her lips. this kiss was softer and sweeter than the one you had just shared, neither one of you pressing too far in any direction. "i'll miss you."

"i never thought you could be such a sap, it's cute."

[magics-neptunes-things]

I've got McCabe

Hi guys :)

So this is a request from here (never been so quick in my life) and I've never write with Katie before so I hope it would suit you all!

Enjoy :)

TW : Love fight, swearing, Nothing else I think

______________________________________________________________

Being Katie McCabe’s girlfriend is something you cherish in everyday life. Everyone knows her reputation on the football fields, and you will never deny the truth of this, but Katie obviously has good sides to tip the scales and drive you crazy about her.

Your little bickering comes mainly from her Irish origins of which she is very proud, while you are just as proud from your Scottish origins. You certainly don’t have a team as strong as England or even Ireland, but your talents have allowed you to be spotted by Arsenal for many years and this is where you still play today. Needless to say, where you met Katie.

For today, you don’t know exactly when your mutual teasing started. You have learned over time to respond to Katie when she starts teasing you, not wishing to leave her the last word every time.

The problem today is that neither of you seems to want to admit defeat. What started out as childish games is nicely being transformed into something else while a certain mutual annoyance is being felt on both sides.

Your teammates must have felt it, Leah grabbing Katie during the lunch break while you almost get kidnap by a Beth Mead apparently more than happy to show you pictures of her puppy. You can’t say that it didn’t work, you are literally a fan of this little cutie.

But after the lunch break, when the training started again, it only takes a little teasing from Katie to start again. And again, you don’t want to let it pass, there’s no reason why it’s always you who gives up, after all.

The limit is exceeded just at the end of the training, while Katie asks you to please go store her dumbbells with yours. Already having yours to carry and a ball in the other hand, you answer her that she only has to get up to do it herself. "Well, at least Ruesha would have done it for me." This one, it hurts.

You remain frozen a few seconds there before turning slowly in the direction of the Irish which seems to realize despite everything what she has just said. But Katie doesn’t add anything, just looking at you from the mattress she’s sitting on with wide eyes. "Fuck you, Katie" you mumble coldly before disappearing from the room. The idea of throwing the ball you hold in your hand on her head would have been tempting and you admit to having thought about it for a few moments. But you weren’t alone and it was out of the question for you to provoke a real scene with violence to the key. "Mate..." sighs Leah once you leave the room. "Wha' " grunts Katie without looking at the blonde. "That was a terrible comment" "Shut up" In truth, Katie knows very well that she has crossed the line and she is very uncomfortable. Hurting you is never her intention, she has always been very careful with her behavior with you, treating you like a princess on a daily basis. Except when she decides to test your limits like today. It never went that far though. Leah answers nothing, content to follow the brunette to the changing rooms to go shower and change. Katie frowns when she sees that you’re not there anymore and your stuff either. "She left. Alessia brings her home. And you’re definitely going to sleep on the couch tonight" Kyra informs her before going to take a shower. The information squeezes Katie’s heart, you live together, so it makes sense to travel together. But she particularly likes to see you in the role of HER passenger princess.

It’s with her mind elsewhere that Irish showers and changes, taking her time in seeking the best solution to fix things. However, it’s difficult for her to know what to do since she doesn’t know what treatment she will be entitled to once she arrives home.

Are you gonna yell at her? Ignore her? Are you even going to be there or will she be allowed a simple post-it on your fridge informing her that she just has to go to hell?

It’s not in a safe state that Katie gently open the door to your house. The living room is empty, but your sneakers are carefully placed on the shoe cabinet of the entrance, informing her of your presence at home. But you’re not in the part of the living room that she can see from where she is.

"Babe?"

Only silence answers her, which doesn’t particularly surprise her. You’re stubborn too and usually Katie liked that about you. But not today.

Sighing, Katie drops her bag at the entrance and walks a little further into the house. She finally finds yourself sitting at the kitchen table, apparently completely absorbed in your readings. Yes, because in addition to your training and games, you’ve been doing correspondence marketing studies. Just in case.

"Are you still angry?" Katie tries to get closer to you.

But you just answer her that a breath of the nose, without looking up from your book. If only she knew you couldn’t concentrate for more than ten seconds. You were really hurt by her remark, even if you think (hope) that she doesn’t think about it for a single second. What could be worse than being compared to her girlfriend’s ex by the principal concerned?

"Babe please, can we just…"

"Don’t fucking touch me McCabe!"

You jumped on your legs as she approached you, ready to put her hand on your arm. In your heart you obviously appreciated that she tries a reconciliation and that she tries to catch up, but it’s still too early for the moment. Your hands tremble with anger when you go to lock yourself in your room, slamming violently the door behind you.

********

"I don’t know mate, she seems really upset. She surname me!"

Katie walks around your backyard, whispering softly on the phone so you don’t hear her. She tried several times to knock on the door of your room but you never answered her, worse you even blocked the handle of the door so that she could not join you.

Leah, on the other end of the phone, has to admit that she is impressed by the strength of character with which you stand up to Katie. But Katie is still her friend and she obviously wants you to make up.

"At the same time, you compared her to your ex. Anyone would have taken it badly. I would have probably killed you."

"I know, Lee. But I can’t go back to the past, what do you want me to do?"

"Apologize?"

"She won’t listen to me, she won’t even let me in the same room as her."

"The good news is she didn’t strangle you" Leah comments with amusement.

"Not yet" answers Katie with a gloomy air.

"Let her calm down a little and in the meantime prepare an apology in good form"

"What do you mean?" asks Katie, mechanically looking up at your bedroom.

"Go get her some flowers, make her a candlelight dinner… what you know will please her."

"I have another idea" ended up answering Katie after a few seconds of reflection.

********

The night has fallen for a little while when almost timid blows are again thrown against the door of your bedroom. You sigh as you hear Katie’s voice rise from behind the door.

"I know you’re still very angry with me, but can you meet me at the livingroom please?"

You roll your eyes without answering, sitting on your side, back to the door. Now that the anger has dissipated, you realize that you were also hurt by the Irish comment. So you decide not to go. At least that was before you got a message on your phone.

Katie 🍀❤️ Baby please?

You let out a big sigh before you get out of bed. With your hands in yours (Katie’s) training pockets and your face frown, you finally leave your room. After moving the chair you had placed under the handle so that she could not enter.

When she hears your bedroom door open, Katie almost teleports to you.

"Can you close your eyes?"

"I’m not in the mood, Katie" you grumble in a low voice.

"Please" she whines.

You stare at her for a few seconds before sighing again and obeying. You let her take both hands to train you to the living room, stopping in the free passage left by the two sofas installed in the living room. Without letting go of your hands, Katie whispers

"You can open them"

You blink twice to regain clear vision and remain speechless in front of what was previously your living room. Katie installed cozy plaids and cushions on the sofa, she lit your fireplace and decorated the room with many Harry Potter goodies. You’re a fan of it, defending your house, Ravenclaw. Needless to say, the one you share your life with is from another house, which you confirmed when you forced her to take the test. Needless to say which one. (Slytherin)

On the coffee table Katie prepared bowls with several snacks and cups of hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. Everything looks like one of those photos that are on Instagram. Well, almost. Because in these photos, there’s not Katie McCabe looking at you with as much apprehension as if you were a bomb ready to explode.

"I’m sorry I was stupid like that and I hurt you. I didn’t think about it and you have no idea how much I blame myself. I should never have said that when I haven’t thought about my ex in forever and even less since we’ve been together. I mean, of course we see each other when we’re training on the national team, but that’s it. She has nothing to do with you. I’m so sorry, Baby, I swear."

Katie rambles a little bit and you get to see the nervousness behind her clumsy speech. And it makes you feel terribly tender. Realizing that she still has your hands in hers, Katie gently pulls on it to draw you a little closer to her.

"I’m not just angry. What you said is hurtful, too, Kat."

"I know" she whispers, dropping one of your hands and putting hers gently under your chin. "But I don’t mean a word of it. No one can match you."

Your gaze in her blue eyes is enough to convince you of her sincerity and despair at the idea that you may not forgive her. It’s that side of Katie that you fell in love with as well, that part that she shows almost nobody. Katie is a loyal and attentive friend, which people know as well. But she is also a tender woman who enjoys cuddling with her girlfriend. You.

"I love you so much" she adds after a few seconds, pressing her forehead against yours. "Please, forgive me."

"Okay" you end up answering softly.

Her smile is so great of joy and relief that you can’t help but smile back.

"But on condition that we watch the first film" you add, pointing to the television with a nod.

"Anything you want."

Katie hurries to make you settle into the couch, perhaps doing a little too much by hurrying to bring a stool so that you can put your feet on it. But you let her, amused by her behavior. She then runs to dim the light in the living room, hands you a cup of hot chocolate and a glass of water if « the chocolate is too chocolate ». She tenderly wraps you in a plaid, asking if you want a cushion and arranges the food bowls so that you have everything near you.

"Are you missing something?" Katie asks, looking closely around her.

"Yes" you answer with a smile.

"What?"

"You."

Bowing an eyebrow, you lift a corner of the blanket in which you are wrapped so that she comes to settle next to you. What she does smiling, even accepting that you shift to allow her too to put her feet on the stool with you. After making sure again that you didn’t miss anything, Katie launches the film and you gently lean your head on her shoulder when she puts her arm around yours.

Ten good minutes passed when you look up at Katie’s face, lit by the lights of the television.

"Babe?" you call her gently, making her look off the screen.

"Yes?"

"I love you too."

A soft smile is born on her face and you would swear that it will remain there until the end of the evening. Including when she leans over you to kiss you right now, then every other time during the movie.

Katie McCabe may be a fool, but she’s your fool.

________________________________________________

So… Katie McCabe is a Slytherin, what do you think? 😂

[cinamonqirl]

PRINCESS

Top!Kate Bishop x Female Reader

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Summary: You're getting ready for a party, but your girlfriend is interrupting you.

Warnings: Kate touches you, teasing.

A/N: a little short, but maybe I'll do part 2. I hope you had a great holidays 🫶

I appreciate every reblog and comment <3

*ೃ༄

You are standing in front of the mirror looking at yourself in your black dress, which is quite short as it ended just above your thighs. The dress is also tight, which is not a problem because you like to tease Kate, especially wearing short skirts or dresses, or just tight clothes that reveal a lot of your figure, knowing that your girlfriend can't concentrate and her hands are sticky to you, and your actions have consequences later, which makes you happy with the kind of parties you go to. Just like now, only it's a charity event organized by Kate's mother. But not only you and the black-haired girl are going for it, but also the entire Avengers team, which also includes Kate. It's not going to be a boring party, but it's definitely not noisy, although the archer would definitely prefer you to spend time alone.

You heard the apartment door open, and of course you expect it to be the black-haired girl.

"Hey princess" she stretched as she entered the room where you are looking at yourself in the mirror. And when she saw you from behind, her eyes lit up seeing you in such a short and tight dress. She bit her lip as she studied your figure, her eyes lingering on the stretched fabric around your ass for a while. And she subconsciously completed you in her mind.

"Hi Katie" you replied with a flirtatious smile on your lips without even turning to face her because you know her eyes are scanning your body anyway.

"Can you help me zip up the back?" You asked looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"Of course, baby" she wasted no time and stepped closer reaching her hand to guess your hair on the other side of your shoulders to access the lock. And if it wasn't for the fact that the party is about to start, especially her mother's, the dress would slide it down without thinking. She carefully zipped up the dress, allowing you to see yourself in the dress, but stayed the same distance away to enjoy you.

"Thank you, honey" you thanked looking at yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair to make it look perfect, and the archer watched your reflection in the mirror from above your head, because of course she's taller than you.

"Okay, I guess that's fine" you mumbled pulling the dress down.

"You look really beautiful, my princess" she complimented you hugging your waist from behind, kissing the back of your head.

"Thank you Kate" you giggled as her hands scan your body eagerly. Kate moved on and her hands moved slowly up your thighs to slide her hands under your dress, scanning your lacy panties with her fingertips. Your eyelids drooped and your breathing quickened, feeling the excitement.

"Mhm" she purred into your hair, relishing the sweet scent of your hair. And she quickly grabbed your waist to turn you towards her, and finally she could see you all in a wonderful dress. You saw her eyes scanning your body, examining every detail of your body.

Your hands gripped her jacket, adjusting it, remembering the first time you wanted to squeal at the sight of her in a suit. And the archer appreciates how you look at her, which is why a smirk crept onto her face.

"You look so good in that suit" you mumbled biting your lip at how the archer looks charming. You heard the girl across from you giggle hoarsely, pulling you closer by the waist.

"I know, beauty. That's why I wore it" she said boldly, giving you a charming smile.

"Of course" you shook your head looking down giggling at her trick. While Kate stared at you with her lip bitten, remembering how she thought of you when she put on the suit.

"Besides, you tease me too" she remarked, narrowing her eyes as you raised your eyebrows. "Especially with that tight dress" her tone of voice got a little deeper when she mentioned your dress. And her hands went under the dress squeezing your ass, with her hands, touching the lace material of your panties that you had specifically put on for her.

"Okay, maybe I did it on purpose" you giggled as her hands enjoyed your skin.

"Mh, exactly" she hummed, then pressed her lips to yours, kissing you softly. You kissed her back almost immediately, and your kisses getting more intense each time. Even after so many kisses, it always feels like the first time, and you get pleasant shivers just thinking about it. Quickly, however, the archer decided to slide down to your neck, giving you as much pleasure as possible.

"Katie, we will be late" you cut her off moaning. You didn't want to be late and upset her mother because you weren't always on time. But that's because it was related to situations like this now. And you don't want everyone laughing and joke at you and Kate for being gone so long.

"Maybe, but I want to please you" she murmured without pulling away from your neck. You placed your hands on her chest, pushing her away slightly, smiling lovely at her grimace.

"Kate, your mother will kill you if we don't come" you said, she raised her eyebrows with a bored expression knowing that you really would like to stay, but she ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek because she might as well rip that dress off of you right now, but the thought of that her mother would kill her if she didn't show up slow her down a bit.

"Okay" she muttered displeased. You giggled at her displeasure, then you tiptoed up to kiss her cheek, just to see the sly smirk as you pulled away.

"We can always finish later" you said innocently, playing with her tie but looking at her meaningfully with flirty smile. She looked at you with a slight lust, but after a while she smiled charmingly at your proposal, so that in your stomach you felt a thousand butterflies, seeing her white sharp teeth that added to her charm.

"Oh absolutely my princess" she giggled hoarsely, can't wait for the party to end. She twisted her jaw as she stared at you mesmerized as your cute smile grew.

[grimoireofhayley]

Of Friends and Horror

Stu Macher x Fem!Reader x Billy Loomis

WARNINGS: Graphic content, Smut (MINORS DNI), Language, Talks of SA, Cheating, Obsessiveness, Gore, 18+ Content, Stalking, Possessiveness, Dirty talk, Religion talk, Suppressed Mental Health problems (I.e., reader has some issues that she isn't aware of)

Word Count: 1k

Tag List: @ev3ningrain @nerdytif @fanfic-enjoyer123 @darkenwolfie @juda-the-simp @colsons-baker @junnniiieee07 @elevenpurple @ok-boke @ren-ni @katie-tibo @bruce-yamada

A/n: I have no idea why some of the tags aren’t working, if anyone has a clue on how to fix it, please for the love of mercy, let me know 😭

All chapter links! 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

OF&H Masterlist

Chapter 11

You were flustered, yet confused. What could he possibly mean by that? The question kept repeating itself in your head, making your mind hurt, almost scrambling your brains. It was that intense, that severe.

“Time’s up.” Brinks suddenly spoke from behind the door, turning the knob, but to his dismay, it was locked. “What the?” He groaned, clearly annoyed. “Why is this damned door locked?”

You quickly let go of Billy, pushing him away for the second time that night, stepping aside and flattening your disheveled hair. To Billy’s disappointment, he couldn’t do much, but let go of you.

You sniffled, grabbing the hems of your gown, playing with it out of nervousness. As the weight of what he had said earlier and what almost happened laid heavy on your shoulders, causing you to both physically and mentally buckle under the pressure as you fell into a chair.

You gripped the sides of your head, panting, a panic attack on its way.

Billy immediately went to your side, wanting to comfort you; but you dismissed him, swatting his hand away, glaring.

His eyes widened slightly at the sudden harshness, especially from you; the one he loved and so desperately craved.

“I am not a whore.” You spat, gritting your teeth and narrowing your brows, “I am not a fantasy, I am a human being with feelings, needs and wants. I am not a secret toy you’re hiding from your girlfriend. I am not going down that route again, especially with you.” Your lips trembled, “I want to be loved, not hidden away and only pulled out when YOU need something. I’m not going to get hurt again, my heart won't be able to take it.” You frowned, wanting to break down, this whole fiasco was enough to crush you under a boulder.

Billy knelt down in front of you, shakily placing a hand on your thigh, fearing you may react differently again.

He’s never showed much emotion, but when it came to you, he was different, like his walls would tumble around him the moment you were near or even at the sound of your voice, though, when he had you at your most vulnerable, his stomach churned, he wanted to see you like that again…

He sighed in relief as you didn’t move, n’or swat at him again.

“(Y/n), I never meant to make you feel like that, but—“

Billy was disrupted by the sound of a key unlocking the door and Officer Brinks stepping through.

“Why was this door locked?” He asked, tapping his heavy boot off the ground, until he noticed the position you both were in; a crying you and a concerned Billy at your feet.

He didn’t press on any further, but nodded towards you, “(Y/n), the Sheriff will schedule an interview with you tomorrow, but it’s time for you to go.” Officer Brinks motioned you out the door, you happily obliged, not wanting to be here any longer than you needed to.

He shut the door soon after, and you didn’t look back, but you knew Billy was watching you from the glass…

You wiped your eyes, briefly looking at Sidney, your stomach twisting into knots. You didn’t want to face her, but eventually you knew you had to. Unfortunately, it would be sooner than anticipated as you both were spending the night at Tatum’s.

“God, this is going to be a long night…” You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration.

<— Previous Next —>

[larathia]

Reign of the Seven Spellblades babble

SO MANY FEELS Y'ALL.

Like, for starters, it's the first light novel series ever to make me cry.

At work, even.

I stand by what I said before - if you loved Harry Potter once, but became disillusioned or had problems with her worldbuilding, this series will be the best dark ride of your life.

But oh. It will hurt. Mostly because it makes a bit too much sense.

I'm'a get less coherent now. You want this stuff to make sense, go read the series. (The anime will get you from volume one to volume three, but skims kind of a lot. The manga does not even get you THAT far.)

ARRRGH PETE. Oliver is so much more messed up than you realize. I mean I get it, roommate, first serious crush, etc. BUT TRUST ME YOU DON'T WANT TO TAP THAT ASS. You don't. I get why you think you do, but sweet summer child you really really don't.

Ah, Oliver. You are going to be crucified, aren't you. If this were a Western story you absolutely would be. I'm holding out some hope that since this is not, ultimately, a Western story, that maybe JUST MAYBE your adorable chirpy Japanese girlfriend will bitchslap some sense into you before you burn yourself out in a very literal way. Then again, she's...uh. Not sane. I suppose I should really just hope that when you go down in flames, she'll be on fire and falling next to you?

In a sense, this is a harem story. But it really doesn't feel like one, even with all the people of all genders that wind up falling at Oliver's feet. And I think it's because all the people falling at Oliver's feet are ...just like him, in the end. Abused and neglected children who just want someone, anyone, to tell them they're good people and it's going to be okay. Oliver needs it just as much as everyone around him, but he's flipped the script so that he gives the world what he most needs and it usually turns out to be the right thing because the world's just that. fucked. up.

This series is seriously making me want to write Draco Goes To Therapy fic. I'm not going to, that fandom can fry, but the temptation's there.

Bone-boy is going to come in handy before the end. I can feeeeel it. Maybe he'll fix Oliver's broken soul. (Shush, shippers, I actually mean that very literally.) And if the final boss is a soul-sucking vampire, it kinds feels right that the final-boss-squad include a necromancer.

Please, story, and I really am begging you here, please don't kill Katie. Please don't let her be consumed by the spell. In a lot of ways her continued survival symbolizes Oliver's hopes. Can we please please not murder her? I don't even care if it takes Oliver knocking her up (provided Nanao at least knows about it) but don't kill her. Please please.

Also please give Pete to the Toxic Gasser. They'd be the very best genderqueer couple ever just please let them have to work together long enough to start eyeing each other?

[mercedesking]

The Evolution Of Dating

The web site evaluated 34 “key markers of dating friendliness” throughout 180 U.S. The website sports activities a clear and muddle - free consumer interface, which makes it simpler for audiences to make the a lot of the options that it has on- board. Hence this function is more practical when the user is having a couple of machine to entry the app. YouTube content creator best recognized for his problem movies, which ceaselessly function sports and sizzling peppers. נערות ליווי בתל אביב Now (like all Tom's different exes), she seems to be residing her greatest life! I don't suppose I'd like this at all. No, I believe it is truly lots of fun! No, however I'm positive we would still have fun! If you can't undergo the grocery store checkout line without picking up a replica of people and low-key have the Daily Mail bookmarked so you may verify it on the reg, then we think you might need what it takes to call all these cringey celeb couples. I feel it relies on who I'm around.

I feel he could be cool, however not his pals. While it is unclear the place Hadid went; DiCaprio spent the rest of the evening along with his friends at several nightclubs before returning to his lodge. While it’s comparatively easy to seek out out who's dating Anthony Jeselnik, keeping observe of all his flings, hookups, and breakups is more difficult. While Mr. Right could appear like an not possible person to seek out, allow us to guide you in the direction of your correct kind with this romantic quiz! So if you are a artistic person who is energetic and spontaneity, then dating an artist or a writer would in all probability work out nice for you. Or, you might be a logical one that enjoys fixing math issues for fun. It is the proper type of communication for individuals who do not need much free time! So that you don’t have to wait until dinner as a result of Sa Ri One has a fantastic lunch menu with a wide range of Bento Boxes so free appetizers to pick from. You can start utilizing this webpage totally free. Using the brand new eharmony webpage or app, from day one you will obtain all of your matches in your inbox. The extra matching attributes that two profiles have, the upper “match percentage” the positioning will assign to it.

The collection additionally includes two documents that the editors thought-about to be versions of the Old Text chapters "Common Possession of Pure Virtue" and "Charge to Yue" 伏說之命. Text on my phone too, it's solely fair! For real, we're turning back the clock and inspecting a few of Hollywood's most random couples. The Carbon-14 isotope exists in nature as a byproduct of the fixed bombardment of cosmic rays into the decrease stratosphere and upper troposphere producing neutrons as they break by way of the atmosphere, turning nitrogen-14 atoms into C-14. Type of, however I'd still date him. I'm still figuring that out. His smile weirds me out. If you smile when you're talking, it helps your voice sound extra confident and glad. Now, if that does not sound too romantic, we've obtained a whole lot of choices for you. We’ll look at who Mike Pouncey is dating right now, who he’s dated prior to now, Mike Pouncey’s girlfriend, and his dating historical past forward.

You wish to look good and smell nice, but what outfit suits the bill without being too sexy, too dressy or too casual? Would you want to go horseback riding with him? Please let us know if you discover any information about Michael Le that is out of date. A gaggle date additionally gives you a chance to gauge your individual character. You simply blew your alternative at pleasure. Tbh, when Katie Holmes was with Tom Cruise, she gave us major Stepford Wife vibes. Yuh, he was Spiderman before Tom Holland (and Andrew Garfield). Take our quiz to see what number of of those cringey celeb couples you may name! Are you able to name the dude Mila Kunis was in love with pre-Ashton? Know and love yourself! Wait, I do not learn about this. Lord Kelvin primarily based his conclusion on a calculation of how lengthy it would have taken Earth to cool if it had begun as a molten mass. Does Leon Burns Have A Girlfriend? It's nice to be able to introduce her to individuals as 'Genevieve, my fiancée'' Schneider concluded. Who are the individuals on this bizzare celeb couple? Seriously, you are not going to believe a few of these individuals truly dated.

[dontworrysunflower]

Merry Fucking Christmas | h.s.

a/n: i’m baaaaccckk!! lol idk it took me a while to finish this and i was gonna have it finished before christmas but then i was exposed to covid so i was little paranoid but anyway (i’m good tho). merry christmas and happy holidays!! i know this years been hard but hopefully we can make it a little better :)

warnings: drinking, angst?? idk not proof read word vomit, some language too

word count: 3.1k

also thank you @watchmegetobsessed !!

feedback/reblogs appreciated

You knew the holidays this year were going to be difficult. You procrastinated on getting gifts for your friends. Your work seemed to pile up on your desk since you got your promotion. You weren’t able to fly back home, and you still had some thanksgiving weight you weren’t able to put off.

Oh yeah, another thing. Harry was still with his girlfriend.

You met Katy, Harry’s girlfriend, at his birthday party in February. She was the epitome of ‘his type’. She had bleach blonde extensions and the bluest eyes you've ever seen. She was tall and really, really loud.

Since then, she’s all he ever talked about when they weren’t together, but when they were in the same room, boy did you want to gag.

You thought they would last maybe three to four months, you were so sure, you bet with some of your other friends.

Needless to say, you lost quite a lot of money.

You tried not to let it bother you, really. But it was so hard when Harry is the literal sweetest person you’ve met, had the voice of an angel and wasn’t bad to look at.

You felt you were the closest with Harry when you moved to London. He made you feel welcome in your little friends group. There was a little flirting game between the two of you that you didn’t even notice until one of your friends brought it up.

“Oh c’mon, it’s so obvious you like each other.” Margot slurred, her second glass clinking against the table as she finished every drop.

“What?” You asked, baffled. Your eyes were wide and your face started to heat up. “He doesn’t like me.”

“But you like him?” Ava, a friend from work, smirked at you.

You stumbled on your words, wiping at the condensation on your glass.

But since he was in a relationship now, you felt almost icky around him. You felt so uncomfortable around him that you did whatever you could to not be in the same room as him.

You were ready for the holidays, you thought. It would give you a break from constantly thinking about him being so busy with your family back in your hometown.

You should’ve known London weather wouldn’t be in your favor. It rained constantly everyday and the fog seemed to get closer to the ground every other day. The weather was getting so bad that you started working from home, the roads too wet and icy to drive on. So honestly, you weren’t that surprised when airports closed due to the weather, meaning you had to spend Christmas in London.

With Harry.

The day after flights were cancelled Harry texted on your group chat saying he could host a dinner and party on Christmas eve and everyone was invited. You watched texts from your other friends flood in, some excited vulgar words were thrown in there as well.

You never responded. Not only because you still felt weird around him for having this massive crush on him, but because things haven’t really been the same between you two.

You can’t remember the last time you had a full on conversation with him before you had to excuse yourself because you couldn’t take the ache in your chest when you were around him, and he wasn’t yours. You can’t remember the last joke he ever told you or when you went out for lunch or drinks when it was only the two of you. You were sure he noticed how weird you were around him, but never said anything, so you let it be.

As the day neared, your mind would change on whether you were going or not. You didn’t want to seem bitchy and cold on what was supposed to be the happiest and cheerful day of the year, so you thought you would go. You thought of every reason you shouldn’t go that had nothing to do with Harry, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him cozy up with his very serious girlfriend.

But there would be alcohol, so you decided to go.

•••

Hey (y/n)! Think you come over early and help me set up for tomorrow? H xx

You stared at the text for what seemed like hours, but it was only a couple seconds. Before you could even register what your fingers were doing, you tied up a quick message and hit send before you could stop yourself.

Of course!! See you tomorrow!

You hated yourself for the rest of the day. Why would you do this to yourself? You could barely be in the same room as him and some other friends. How would you survive being alone before the party started?

•••

The butterflies in your stomach have not been able to settle since you woke up Christmas Eve morning. Just the thought of seeing him made you nervous. You almost didn’t get out of bed that morning. But you pat yourself on the back when your feet finally hit your wooden flooring and moved on with your day.

Your shoulders hung low beside you as the time to meet up grew closer, the sun lowering behind you, Christmas lights and inflatable decorations coming to life as stars dotted the sky.

You sighed heavily as you styled your hair and naturally did your makeup.

You slid on your silky, tight dress and grabbed your coat and quickly made your way to your car to get away from the bitter cold.

You rubbed your hands together, blowing into them to regain some feeling before turning the key into the ignition, quickly turning the heater on, Mariah Carey blasting through your speakers.

You were about to pull out of your driveway, mumbling along to Mariah’s notes when you realized you forgot the gifts.

•••

Your shoulders were hunched up as you knocked on the white door, your foot tapping against the brick stairs of Harry’s house as you waited for him to open it in the freezing cold.

You could hear shuffling from the other side and watched the doorknob wiggle, Harry having trouble with his lock since June and still hasn’t had anyone fix it.

The door swings open to reveal Harry in his glory, brown corduroy pants and an ugly Christmas sweater under an apron that’s tied around his slender waist that you’ve always been jealous of.

“Hey, sorry, come on in.” Harry said to you before moving out of the way, a bowl nestled between his side and his arm.

You mumbled a quiet thank you before stepping in, your cheeks reddening at the warmth enveloping you as you walked through the foyer of his home.

“Mm,” he hummed as he remembered something. He puts down the bowl he had on his white kitchen counter and waddles over to you, a small curve on his lips as he wrapped his arms around you. “Merry Christmas, love.”

You hate that nickname. But you don’t. You hate the butterflies that flutter in your stomach when he says that word. You hate the goosebumps it causes you and the hairs sticking up on your neck when he says the one thing you feel too harshly for him. And you hate how much he doesn’t feel it back.

“Merry Christmas, Harry.” You mumbled into his neck, his cologne flooding your senses bringing you comfort.

He doesn’t let go of you yet, but he backs up just a little to see you. “You look gorgeous, (y/n).”

The air gets stuck in your lungs and you almost forgot how to formulate words. You hoped Harry thought the pigment on your cheeks would be from the cold because it totally was. Before it was obvious how his words affected you, you stuttered out a few words. “Thank you, you look nice too.”

He chuckled at you, the breath passing his lips hitting your neck, a tingle passing through your spine. “You don’t have to lie, darling.” He squeezed you one last time before letting you go, your body instantly becoming colder as he backed away.

There's a low hum of Christmas music playing in his surround sound system, a tall tree tucked in a corner between his burning fireplace and window looking out onto the street.

You turn your attention back to Harry as he speaks up again, his famous dimples puncturing his cheeks. “Thanks fo’ comin’ early to help me out.”

You rolled your coat off your shoulders and hung by the door, walking up to him as he moved around the kitchen. “Oh yeah, it’s no problem. Not like I had anything else to do.”

He gave you a small sympathetic smile before throwing a tray full of greens into the oven. “I’m sorry you couldn’t go see your family.”

You shrug as you run your finger on the edge of his marble counter. “It’s alright, nothing I can do much anyway.” You perk up when you remember what you’re doing here so early in the first place. “Guess that’s why I’m here, no? What can I help you with?” Your heels click as you move around the counter closer to him.

“Nope.” His lips puckered as he pushed you back to where you were standing. “Just stand there and talk to me. Wine?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you blindly nod, watching him uncork a bottle of Moscato. Your favorite.

He hands you a glass of the sparkling wine before turning back around to the dishes, prepping food of all kinds for everyone and most importantly; eggnog.

“But, you said you needed my help.”

He chuckled nervously, his cheeks reddening. From your comment or from the wine? You weren’t going to get your hopes up. “I just need some company before the party. Just stand there and look pretty.”

You try your hardest ignore the blush on your cheeks. You twirl the wine glass from the neck, watching the liquid swirl around in the depths of the glass. “What about Katy?”

He sighs deeply, opening the oven to check on the food. “We’ve been kind of fighting lately.”

You did your best to stop the grin from forming on your lips, hoping he did notice your sudden burst at the new information. They are still together, so you can’t act on anything. “I’m sorry. Can I ask what’s going on?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know really. Anything and everything. Every little thing I do annoys her and anything she does annoys me. It just wasn’t the same.”

“Is she coming?” You ask before you can think about it.

He shrugs again, shoulders hanging more than usual. “I don’t think so. She said she was staying home since she can‘t fly back to her family either.”

A silence hangs between the two of you when neither of you said anything, not really sure of what needs to be said next.

“I don’t think I feel the same way for her as I did in the beginning.” Harry mumbled, arms crossed over his chest as his hip leaning against the counter, his usually bright eyes a little darker, a little sadder.

You walk up to him and lay your hand on his shoulder, giving him a small smile. “It’s not my business but, if you really feel that way, you shouldn’t lead her on, it’ll only hurt both of you.”

Harry looks down at the floor as he nods. “Thanks, love.”

There’s a wave of silence between you again as he raises his head to look at you. You almost felt small under his gaze. Something about his crystal green eyes always made you nervous. You were scared he could see what you were really thinking.

And you also swear his eyes fell to your lips.

•••

The dinner party was in full swing now, people’s laughter bleeding in with the loud Christmas music playing around the house. Some people were dancing in front of the fireplace, drinks being refilled every once in a while.

You were standing by the counter with your friends, Margot and Ava, chatting and drinking your eggnog instead of the wine you had before the party started. You had completely forgotten about the wonderful man hosting this party, the conversation you had earlier with him slipping your mind as the drink in your hand lowered to the bottom of the glass, intoxicating your thoughts.

Even though you offered to help, Harry didn’t let you help with the rest of dinner before everyone came over, so now the food still wasn’t ready as people flooded in. You heard him say something about potatoes and that was as much as you knew of the food preparation and when you would be able to eat.

The music is lowered a bit and then a clicking sound was heard, everyone turning their heads towards Harry, who clinked a fork against his glass. “Dinner is ready!”

Everyone cheered and started making their way towards the dining room. Most people had already filtered towards the next room when a knock on the front door was heard.

You turned your head as Harry twisted the knob. You were sure Harry's face mimicked yours when you saw who was standing at the doorway.

There stood Katy, hair newly bleached and a little overdressed.

She wasted no time in wrapping her arms around him, her plump lips repeatedly marking his face with the bright lipstick.

“Oh god,” you waltzed over towards Ava, who was pouring herself a new glass of eggnog. “pass me the eggnog, I can’t stand this sober.” You pushed her over slightly and grabbed the handle of the ladle she was using, filling up your cup almost to the brim.

Ava looked at you in curiosity at your sudden change, carefully looking over at the lovely couple still by the door. “Wait, I thought you told me they were fighting.” She whispered beside you, eyes widening as she watched you gulp down some of the eggnog you just served yourself to give yourself some more.

“Guess fucking not.” You were much less sober now, on the brink of tipsy and drunk. Your words slurred, eyelids heavy, vision blurry. “Let’s go fucking eat.” You dragged Ava by the wrist towards the commotion in the dining room, almost, but not quite forgetting about the couple behind you.

•••

You’ve had four glasses of eggnog. Or was it five? But now, you stand in front of the bowl, pouring some into your glass again, making it six.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” You hear his sultry voice behind you, his tone a little sassy and annoyed, but you didn’t care.

“What are you gonna do about it?” You slurred, turning around to face him. His pink lips were turned down in a frown, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, his buff arms that were constricted in his sweater cross in front of his chest. “Gonna go kiss your girlfriend some more?” You stumbled on your feet, your drink almost spilling over the rim.

“What does that have to do with anything?” His face changed from annoyance to confusion. His thumb twisting the ring on his other finger nervously.

You open your mouth to retaliate, but even in this drunk state you knew not to say anything. You chug the creamy drink, keeping eye contact with him, watching his face change again. You didn’t care.

He obviously didn’t care either.

You sighed dramatically as you finished the drink. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

•••

You had sobered up quite a bit after your little encounter with Harry, mainly because there was no eggnog left.

You realized it was for the better though, so you made your way back into the kitchen, doing your best to not stumble or bump against anything as you grabbed an empty cup to fill with water.

“I am really sorry.” You knew his voice anywhere. But it wasn’t his usual chirpy, charming voice he had that always soothed you, it sounded more sad and somber.

“On Christmas? Out of any day you chose today?” Katy sniffled, voice wobbly and hurt.

“I know but, you know we can’t go on any longer, we’ll just hurt each other more.”

“I think I'm going to head out.”

You don’t hear Harry say anything back, but the sound of the door clicking open catches your attention and you almost turn around to watch.

“I just have one question.” Katy said weakly.

You walked away before you could hear anything else.

•••

Even though you were still a little upset at Harry (For what? You weren’t sure anymore), you stayed behind as everyone left to help him clean up before you head home.

You were putting things back in his refrigerator when you heard the front door close, the light chatter and drunken goodbyes silenced by the wooden door.

You kept your back towards the door, suddenly nervous of the words that would be spoken between the two of you.

“(y/n), can we talk?” Harry’s voice was low and sultry, your knees almost gave out.

“I should um-I should get going. It’s late.” You hurry around him to grab your things and for the door, but he holds your wrist.

“Please?” He sounded desperate, and for the first time in what felt like days you looked up into his emerald eyes. There was that desperate look in his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down into a frown.

You sigh and nod slowly.

He lets go of your wrist and stuffed his hands in his back pockets, his pink cheeks either from the cold or from nervousness.

“I’m sorry.” He said suddenly. “I didn’t mean to get mad and I know I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Is that it?

You weren’t going to lie, you thought he would profess his love to you or something.

“I um- I also,” he swallows and takes your hand, his rings cold to the touch. “I broke up with Katy.”

Your mouth opened for words to come out but nothing ever left your lips.

“Do you want to know the real reason why Katy and I were fighting?”

You’re still speechless, scared of the answer, even though you have an idea of what he'll say.

“I’ve always liked you, (y/n).” His shoulders rise in a deep breath. “I guess, I don’t know, I thought if I started seeing someone else it would it easier but, not being with you this past year has been hell and I know I haven’t made it any easier with being with Katy but—”

Your lips crash on his, your arms wrapping his neck, your fingers immediately tangling in his brown locks.

He stumbles back in shock but grabs at your hips, bringing you closer to his chest.

His pink lips press against yours, the corners slowly turning up into a smile, breaking your kiss.

“Merry fucking Christmas to me.”

•••

Taglist:

@samaratheweirdo @sarcasticallywitty15

(Let me know if you would like to be added or taken off taglist.)

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The Mitchells vs. the Machines

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is up there as one of the best installments of the MCU. Sure, the action and CGI sucks, and the season finale could use a bit more polish, but there is so much more of what it does right. It brings up an engaging discussion through Karli; the bromance between Bucky and Sam is incredible; Zemo's surprisingly a riot, and U.S. Agent is a character whose inner psychology is something I would like to study. Plus, the series really dives deep into the themes of race and the realistic hesitance that comes with making a black man Captain America. It's easily an 8/10 series that is worth an in-depth discussion.

But f**k that s**t, because I'm talking about The Mitchells vs. the Machines instead!

I know it might be questionable that reviewing a movie starring a predominantly white family of idiots saving the world instead of the TV series about the powerful journey of a black man taking the mantle of an American icon...but this movie is fun, alright? And yes, I'm going to spoil it to explain how. So if you still have a Netflix account, I highly suggest you check it out when you have time.

Because, random people on the internet who most likely won't read this, this Ordinary Schmuck who writes stories and reviews and draws comics and cartoons is going to explain why The Mitchells vs. the Machines might just be my favorite film of the year (steep contest, I know).

WHAT I LIKE

The Animation: Let's get this out of the way right here and right now: If a single person ever tells you that this movie has awful animation, or the worst animation they have ever seen, just go ahead and assume that person is an idiot. Because holy hot cheese sticks, does this movie look amazing!

Say what you want about most of Sony Pictures Animation's movies, but you have to admit that they nail making a CGI movie looking like it could be in 2D. And The Mitchells vs. The Machines is the peak of that style. Every character in nearly every frame looks like they could work well if the movie was hand-drawn, and I love it. I am addicted to seeing films that look 2D with a 3D makeover because there has to be ten times the amount of effort to get that look just right, what with modeling each character in unique ways to nail that style wherein a hand-drawn film, you could just, well, draw it. Not to mention that the cell-shading and certain hand-drawn elements also add to the aesthetic.

Plus, there is so much attention to details, such as most of Katie's character model being covered in sharpie, or how you can see a hint of Eric and Deborabot 3000's drawn on faces even though their black screens are showing something else. Seriously, you can listen to any criticism this movie gets, but don't you dare let someone get away with telling you that it looks awful. It doesn't. It's incredible, and I SO wish that I could have seen it all on the big screen.

The Comedy: On top of being incredibly well-animated, this movie is also incredibly funny. Like, really funny. I shouldn't be surprised since it's made by the same people responsible for Clone High and The Lego Movie, but yeah, I found myself laughing, chuckling, and snorting with nearly every joke in the film. Not every joke works, to be fair. But because of the fast-paced humor, the bad jokes are almost immediately followed up with better ones soon after. What's even better is that the writers know when to take a break with the humor and let some surprisingly compelling drama take over. And even then, when there are jokes during the dramatic moments, they add sincerity to the scene rather than take anything away. Looking at you, The Amazing World of Gumball...I mean, I love you, but sheesh, you need to learn to let a solemn moment play out.

Anyways, the comedy is hilarious. And while I won't spoil every joke, I will go over some bits that might have gotten to me the most.

Katie Mitchell: Let's just go ahead and add Katie Mitchell to the list of characters I highly relate to on a personal level (which is getting longer by the minute, hot damn). But jokes aside, I really like Katie. Her love and desire to make movies is something I identify with, and her goal to just go to a place where she feels like she belongs is easy to understand. Trust me, if I found out there was a group of weirdos who like the same things I do and enjoy the things I make, I’d be willing to pack everything I have and go to them as fast as possible too. Plus, I feel like a lot of us can relate to a character who lives in a household where people question if our career goal is something we can make a living with. I remember two years ago when I told my aunt that I wanted to make my own animated series, and her reaction is a little too similar to Rick's when Katie showed him her movie. They mean well, but sometimes it's for the best to have a cheerleader rather than a critic, especially if that person is family.

Now, Katie isn't perfect as her enthusiasm can get a little annoying at times, and her desire to leave can be conceived as a little too harsh as well. Still, she's pretty cool and serves her role as a protagonist pretty well...also, if the movie gets a sequel, let's hope she and Jude become cannon by then. GIVE KATIE A GIRLFRIEND, DAMN IT!

Aaron Mitchell: But as great as Katie is, it's this goober that earns the reward for my favorite character. At times it looks like Aaron is nothing more than a source of comedy, but he handles some dramatic moments really well. Partial credit goes to Michael Rianda for that one. Yeah, having a child actor would have made Aaron sound more like a kid, but no other voice could have fit him better than what Michael offers as he comes across as weird but never obnoxious.

Also, let's give the writer points for making a character who is clearly neurodivergent. Yet also refraining from having him be annoying or useless to the rest of the cast. No one ever really disrespects or belittles Aaron and instead chooses to work with him rather than against him. Especially Katie, who forms a solid sibling bond with Aaron as a fellow weirdo. It's genuinely sweet to see, and I loved every minute that the writers showed that just because someone acts on a different wavelength doesn't mean they shouldn't be treated any less because of it. You get that with Katie, a little bit, but I see it much more with Aaron, for some reason. And I love him every minute, so that’s a win.

(Plus, I may or may not have had a dinosaur phase when I was younger, so go ahead and add him to the list of relatable characters too.)

Rick Mitchell: This is probably a character you will either love or hate, and I can see both sides of that argument. Because on the one hand, I really like Rick Mitchell. His motivation is clear and understandable from the first set of home videos with him and Katie, both near the beginning and the end. Sure, he messes up a lot, but he is still a man who cares deeply about his daughter, as well as his entire family. He gets to the point where he would make great sacrifices for all of them, especially Katie. Plus, it's just pleasant seeing a cartoon dad who isn't a complete idiot or overprotective regarding his daughter's love life.

However, there are times when Rick comes across as an irresponsible d**k. When he does things like smash the family's phones without telling them or giving them screwdrivers for "presents," you're either gonna find that funny or you won't. Personally, I enjoy Rick and his antics, and I have no problem with irresponsible cartoon dads. As long as they don't cross the line toward Modern-Peter Griffin territory, I've got no problem with dads like Rick, who I believe has never even got that bad. Still, some people might think differently, and I can't blame them. Because after getting great cartoon dads like Greg Universe, I can understand if some people won't be interested in characters like Rick Mitchell.

Rick’s and Katie’s relationship: Alongside the top-notch animation and gut-busting comedy, Rick and Katie's relationship is what I consider the movie's most essential asset. These two are the main characters of the film, and as such, they develop through each other. And what's crazy is that they have very conflicting goals. Katie wants to escape and be with her people, where Rich just wants one last chance to have a good memory with Katie before she leaves. To do so, they first have to understand each other. Katie has to learn why Rick is so desperate to spend time with her, and Rick has to realize why Katie is, well, Katie. What I love most about it is that they try. These two don't spend the entire movie arguing and being at each other's throats until a sudden "Oh" moment in the end. No, there are actual moments when they genuinely try to understand one another and fix their relationship. It's nice to watch, and I especially love when it cuts to Linda and Aaron celebrating each time Katie and Rick get closer to each other. When recommending this movie, I'd say come for the animation and comedy, stay for the phenomenal relationship building.

Monchi: There are probably people already comparing Monchi to Mater or the Minions due to being a comic relief with nothing else to add...but gosh dangit, do I love this little gentleman. Maybe it's because I'm a dog person, but I find Monchie to be incredibly adorable, and I will fight anybody who disrespects this king of kings. Probably not physically, 'cause I'm a wuss, but I will verbally. So WATCH IT!

“HeLlO. i Am DoG.”: Have I mentioned that this movie is funny?

Rick’s videotapes of him and Katie: And right there. Rick's motivation for everything is set in stone through a solid case of visual storytelling.

PAL: The writers do almost everything they should have with this character. PAL might not have the most creative evil plan in the world, but to me, a villain can have a generic scheme as long as they're funny. Thankfully, PAL is funny. Not only is the idea of a smartphone ruling the planet hilarious in all the right ways, but Olivia Colman delivers such a great cynical energy that the character needs. The way PAL reacts to people explaining why humans are worth living is just the best, and her flopping around in a fit of rage successfully gets to me.

If I had to nitpick, I'd say that I wish PAL had more of a meaningful resolution to her character. The movie builds up that she makes a big deal about Mark dropping her, so it feels weird that neither of them really get any actual closure with each other. I'll get more into that in the dislikes, but I wish PAL had more of a fitting end than just dying after accidentally getting dropped in a glass of water. Other than that, she's a great comedic villain for a comedic movie.

PAL MAX Robots: These guys are the funniest characters in the movie. Half of it is the bits of visual humor, while the other half comes from the solid line delivery from Beck Bennett. Especially with Bennett's and Fred Armisen's Eric and Deborahbot 3000. These two are definitely the comedic highlights, as nearly every line they say is both hilarious and kind of adorable at times. And just like with Monchi, if you dare disrespect these characters, I will fight you. Because they are funny, and I will not hear otherwise.

PAL demonstrating what it’s like to be a phone: Have I mentioned that this movie is funny?

(Don't disrespect your phones, kids. Otherwise, they'll try to take over the world.)

PAL turning off the Wi-Fi: Again, have I mentioned this movie is funny?

“I love the dog. You love the dog. We all love the dog. But at some point, you’re gonna have to eat the dog.”: It's the sick jokes that get to me the most. Everyone booing Rick afterward is just the cherry on top.

Attack of the Furbies: Have I. Mentioned. That this movie. Is funny?

Seriously, if you haven't lost your s**t during every second of this scene, then you never had to deal with the demonic entity that is a Furby. In a way, I commend you. But you also don't get to appreciate the comedic genius of all of this. So I also weirdly feel bad for you.

The Mitchells deciding how to celebrate: You don't have a real family if you spend more time arguing about how to celebrate after saving the world than you do about how to save the world. I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

The PAL MAX Primes: There's not much to say about them. The PAL MAX primes look and act pretty cool, are brilliantly animated, and raise the stakes while still being funny at times. I love 'em, but I don't have much to analyze with them either.

The origin of the moose: ...I'd make the "I didn't need my heart anyway" joke, but to be honest, it's still shattered after WandaVision.

(For real, though, this is a really effective scene that establishes why Rick makes a big deal with the moose and why he might feel hurt that Katie is willing to disregard it completely)

The Theme of Technology and Social Media: There's a theme about how family is important, and working hard on making things work is worth the effort. But that's a bit too generic for my tastes, so instead, I'm gonna talk about the equally important message this movie has about technology. Because as twisted as she is, PAL makes a great point. The technology we have today helps us in a variety of ways. It's especially useful with sites like YouTube, allowing content creators like Katie to reach out and share their voices. The only issue with technology is how people use it. Take note that the main reason why the Mitchells stand a chance against PAL is by using her own tech against her. Yes, over-relying on all the advancements around us can be dangerous, but if we're smart with how we use them, we can get by just fine. This movie isn't about purging all technology like most robot apocalypse stories are. Instead, it's about using it correctly and not being helpless sheep the second the Wi-Fi gets turned off. Which might just be the most unique thing this movie has going for it story-wise (more on that later).

The Climax: The Mitchells vs. The Machines has everything that I think I climax should have. First off, it utilizes callbacks and jokes that I wouldn't have thought twice on actually coming in handy for how the Mitchells win the day. But showing that Monchi causes the robots to malfunction turns a pretty "eh" joke into a solid case of foreshadowing.

Second, everyone does something. Some characters do more than others, sure, but the fact that every Mitchell, even Monchi, has a hand in beating PAL and her robots is a great sense of writing to me. It shows that you really can't cut anyone from the main cast, as they each add value to how they are essential to the plot. Even Aaron, who arguably does the least in the climax, still manages to be the catalyst to what is easily the best scene in the movie. Speaking of which...

Linda Kicks Ass: By the way, that's the actual name on the soundtrack. I'm not even kidding. Check it.

Anyways, for the most part, Linda seemed like a decent cartoon mom. She's insanely supportive but still has the common sense to keep her foot down, like agreeing with Rick to stay safe in the dino stop the second the apocalypse starts. A pretty fun character, for sure, but nothing too noteworthy...but the second she loses her s**t, Linda Mitchell frickin' SKYROCKETS to the best-cartoon-mom territory! Believe me when I tell you that seeing her slice and dice robots like a middle-aged female Samurai Jack is as awesome as it is hilarious. Does it make sense how she can suddenly do this? No, but at the same time, who gives a s**t about common sense?! Because this moment was epic, and I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching it over and over again.

Rick Learning How to Internet...Again: I consider this the funniest moment in the movie. Trust me, the Furby scene is a close, close, CLOSE, second...but I think this scene was funnier.

The final goodbye: This is what I'm talking about when I say humor adds to the dramatic moments. The Mitchells saying "I love you" in moose is pretty funny, but it's also a sweet moment given that this is absolutely how this family of weirdos would say goodbye to each other. And, yeah, I got a little misty-eyed during this scene. Especially when Rick saw Katie pocketing the moose. That s**t just cuts deep, man.

Alex Hirsch Voices a Character: ...That's it. I look up to Alex Hirsh as everything I want to be as a creator, and the fact that his name is on this movie fills me with joy. He's also a story consultant, so that can also explain why the movie turned out as great as it did...although there are some imperfections.

WHAT I DISLIKE

Katie-vision: What's Katie-vision? Well, throughout the movie, we get to see how Katie views the world as there are these hand-drawn elements that look like effects Katie would add if she was the one who made the movie. At times it can be subtle and cute, like when this little beating heart appears when Katie is talking with Jude and her other friends. It's when the movie is in your face with Katie-vision does it get annoying. Like showing how Katie is lying about being certain she can drive up a vertical ramp or signifying what is the Rick Mitchell Special. Even if you justify that this would be how Katie would edit the movie, it still doesn't change how obnoxious these moments can be. For instance, Monchi is justified to be essential for the plot, but that doesn't mean people won't hate him...I'll still fight them if they do, but that's beside the point.

I can totally accept this being a personal issue, as I'm sure some people enjoy it. As for me, I think Katie-vision works best when used subtly instead of crudely.

The Meme humor: It's something similar here. Because some people like meme humor...but I don't. To me, it just dates your story if you reference memes even once. Now, a show, movie, or book being partially dated is nothing new. We Bare Bears, a series that I love, reference memes, apps, and social media constantly. Yet, the show still has a timeless feel to it as it doesn't rely on those references too much. The Mitchells vs. the Machines doesn't rely on memes as much either. But even then, that doesn't make a difference about how annoying that gibbon monkey joke was. Seriously, what the f**k was that? And how is THAT the joke that gets used twice!?

Underutilizing Mark Bowman: It really bothers me how this guy barely does much. I mean, Mark Bowman is the main reason that anything happens in the movie. Because he mistreated PAL, Mark acts as the catalyst for events to come. So the fact that he could have been written out the second PAL takes control doesn't make sense to me. It's worse since I could see more potential with his character through his relationship with PAL. These two could be anti-Rick and Katie, as Mark and PAL show what happens when people disrespect their family. So separating them halfway through the story, and keeping them as such, is a huge mistake as it results in neither having a proper resolution to their arcs. Like I said, Rick and Katie develop through each other, and the same could have happened with Mark and PAL. It doesn't, making it something that I can't help but feel disappointed about.

The Poseys: These are characters I feel like work better with multiple appearances. Sure, they only have the one joke about being a perfect family, but at the same time, you can make a joke like that work. Look at Yvonne from Shaun of the Dead (Which might just be my favorite movie). That's a bit-character whose only purpose is showing how better she is than Shaun despite being in an eerily similar situation. But she works well as we constantly see how great she's doing in every instance we see her. The same could be done with the Poseys, as using a similar joke for one scene is underutilizing great potential to make an already good movie into a better one.

Plus, if you're gonna shoehorn in a romance between Aaron and Abby Posey, the least you could do is have more than one scene developing that...just saying.

Katie’s and Rick’s “Oh” Moments: I want to make it clear that I actually like these scenes. They're well written and effectively emotional. My problem is that they also happen two seconds apart. There's nothing wrong with having a character realize the error of their ways through a tear-jerking moment. It's a popular tactic for a reason. And given how both Rick and Katie are the protagonists, they both need their own "oh" moment. But you gotta space them out, as it makes things easier to see the emotional manipulation that you're clearly trying to pull on the audience. They work, but putting them back to back is an issue easily solved with at least two minutes of padding, not two seconds.

Katie’s Death Fakeout: This is one of the few instances that a joke doesn't work in the movie, made even more annoying with the fact that I could see the punchline a mile away and kept thinking, "Just get to it already." I'm pretty sure no one bought this, especially when Katie didn't look like she could have gotten killed in any way after throwing PAL. It's poorly handled and proof that even the funniest comedies have a stale joke every now and again.

Nothing New is really being done here: Keep in mind that in terms of style, this movie is incredibly innovative. And here's hoping future animated projects can take notes. But narratively speaking? Yeah, there's nothing really new that this movie is offering.

A story about how technology will be the death of us? Been there.

A story about a group of idiots miraculously saving the world? Done that.

A story about a father forcing their teenager on a road trip so they can spend quality time with each other, thus ruining the teen's chance of hanging out with their girlfriend? Believe it or not, I have seen A Goofy Movie...multiple times...both as a kid and as an adult.

Now, I have no issue with a movie's plot being a bit by-the-books, and in some cases, cliche. If done effectively, and if I still have a good time, I don't think there’s much to complain about. And there isn't with The Mitchells vs. The Machines. The problem lies with that I'll forget this movie along with the dozens of others like it in a couple years. Which might just be the biggest issue any film can have.

---------------------

Overall, I'd give The Mitchells vs. the Machines a well-earned A-. It has nitpicks, sure, but it's still a blast to watch. It might not be innovative or groundbreaking as movies like the last Sony Pictures Animation movie, Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse. However, it is fun. And when the world is burning down around us, it's nice to have a fun movie that can distract us from all of it. So feel free to log in to Netflix the next time you're in the mood for a film that is great for the whole family. You won’t be disapointed

(And I will talk about The Falcon and the Winter Soldier pretty soon. I just needed to get this out of my system first.)

[honeypwark]

[ Strawberries ]

  ↳ Fake Love era

       ↳ Yeosu and Johnny spend the morning together. Hoseok and Jungkook come to visit unexpectedly. Yeosu fails to get them to leave.

Note: Uuuuh content warning? Ages 14+?? Idk, there’s some “if it was on TV it’d be censored with a blanket and convenient camera angles” smutty stuff, so nothing in detail. But still: read with care, children.

m.list

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Yeosu runs her fingers delicately over Johnny’s back, up to his shoulders and down his arm before retracing her path. She admires how her fingertips leave goosebumps on his skin, minuscule shadows cast over the expanse of his back by the morning sun that shines through the windows. She smooths her palm over his shoulder blades then rests her hand on his shoulder and runs her thumb over his skin. Johnny lifts his head and rests his chin on her chest, looking up at her.

“You know, I love you, right?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“Of course I do,” Yeosu assures him softly. “I love you, too.”

Johnny clutches his heart dramatically as she speaks.

“First thing in the morning and you’re already giving me heart palpitations,” he says.

Yeosu giggles.

He finds her hand under the blanket and brings it to his lips, kissing her knuckles then her fingers and her fingertips. She intertwines their fingers and tugs at his hand, pressing the back of his hand to her own mouth.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s illegal,” he tells her.

“Is it?”

“You can’t just steal my heart like that.”

“But I assume I already took it from you a while ago.”

Johnny pushes himself up, “You’d assume correctly, then.”

He leans down and connects their lips. She cups his face, too absorbed in the kiss to notice one of his hands traveling south. She jumps when she feels it.

“Excuse you.”

“My apologies, ma’am,” he says, “May I?”

“Hm, let me think about it,” she muses.

She plays with the hair at the name of his neck, humming as she looks off to the side for a moment. She looks back up at him.

“Has the lady made a decision?” Johnny asks.

“The lady has decided to accept your request.”

“I’d hoped she might.”

Yeosu laughs again, cut off as Johnny kisses her again. He swallows her moan and adjusts himself to be better positioned over her.

Five minutes and a position change later, Yeosu holds onto Johnny’s shoulders as he moves above her.

“Good?” he asks breathlessly.

“No,” she moans, “Absolutely terrible.”

“Yeah, I hate it, too.”

They laugh, nothing serious about their intimacy at the moment. Johnny kisses her then trails his lips to her neck.

“When’s your next schedule?” he asks.

“Why?”

“Want to know if I can give you a hickey or not.”

“We’ve got- oh my god.”

Johnny laughs into her neck as she’s cut off when he changes the angle of his hips.

She smacks his shoulder, “Shut up.”

“Sorry.”

“But we’ve got- ah- Run BTS filming in two days so- Jesus- I’d say no.”

“Fine,” Johnny sighs.

He keeps his head nestled in the crook of her neck, one of his hands gripping her waist. She holds tightly onto him, gripping his arm and tugging at his hair.

“You want to know something?” she asks breathlessly.

“What?”

“I know you lied to me.”

Johnny halts and he pushes himself up to look at Yeosu, “What?”

“About your girlfriends.”

“I didn’t- huh?”

“You told me you only ever dated girls in America.”

“What are you-... Katie.”

“Katie,” Yeosu repeats his member’s name.

“Okay, in my defense, we literally never talk about it because it was so awkward.  I forgot; that’s the only reason I didn’t tell you.  And we only dated for two weeks, like, five years ago.”

“I suppose I’ll let it slide.”

“I can make it up to you,” Johnny says.

“How are you going to do that?”

Yeosu’s hand flies to Johnny’s arm as he starts moving again.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll let it slide.”

Johnny laughs a low chuckle and continues his movements.  Then he stops.

“How did you find out about me and Katie?”

Yeosu blinks up at him, “Ten and I meet for lunch on Sundays when we’re both free.”

“Why was I not aware of this?”

Yeosu shrugs, “It never came up.  He tells me all of your dirty little secrets.”

“And yet you still love me?”

“It’s the hair.”

Johnny laughs, “I’m going to have to have a talk with Ten about that.”

“About your hair?”

“You know what I meant.”

Johnny begins moving again and the two get lost in each other.  Johnny kisses Yeosu’s neck, sucking lightly but not leaving marks despite how badly he wants to.  For several minutes, they go on like that.  Until their intimate moment it abruptly interrupted.

“Noona!”

Johnny and Yeosu go completely still.

“Hobi hyung and I came to visit and brought strawberries from the farmer’s market!” Jungkook calls to her.

Yeosu shoves Johnny off of her and scrambles to stand, “Hang on, I just finished blow drying my hair; give me a second to get dressed!”

“I thought you were going to talk to them about showing up randomly!” Johnny whisper-shouts at her.

“Well, I haven’t yet!”

“You might want to consider it!”

“Wow, really?!”

Yeosu runs to her closet and throws on underwear and jeans. She positive her bra is twisted but doesn’t bother fixing it before grabbing a random shirt to throw on over it all. She nearly makes her scalp bleed with how fast she brushes her hair. She exits her closet to find Johnny standing in the middle of her room in nothing but his boxers.

She gestures at him with emphasis.

He gestures back with his hands helplessly.

She pinches the bridge of her nose then pointedly whispers, “Do not leave this room until I get rid of them. If they come in, hide in the closet.”

“You’re a grown woman living on your own and you’re resorting to hiding your boyfriend in the closet?”

“Yes.”

“We’re talking about this later.”

“Looking forward for it.”

Yeosu fixes her shirt then leaves the room, shutting the door behind her.

“Hi, noona!” Jungkook greets her happily, bounding over to hug her hello.

She catches his hug with ease, “Hey, Kookie.”

She’s suddenly acutely aware of how shaky her legs still are as she walks with Jungkook to the kitchen where Hoseok stands. There’s a carton of ripe strawberries on the kitchen table.

“Thanks so much for the strawberries, but you should have texted me. I’m heading out to grab brunch with a friend soon; could have saved you the trip.”

“We don’t mind,” Hoseok says.

I do, Yeosu thinks.

“I’m going to have to sit you all down to talk about showing up randomly,” Yeosu scolds them, forcing a joking tone when she wants to be serious.

“Can we still hang out here even if you’re heading out? I wanted to watch Iron Man and you’ve got it on DVD,” Jungkook says.

“You’re still on your Iron Man shtick?” Yeosu teases him.

“Only because it’s a great movie series and he’s an awesome character.”

“Wouldn’t you two prefer to watch the movie back at the dorm? I’ll let you borrow the movie.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“This way we don’t have to worry about giving it back to you,” Hoseok adds.

“Yeah, I guess, haha.”

Yeosu watches helplessly as her members walk over to her living room and begin searching through the bottom of her entertainment center for Iron Man. Normally, this would be totally fine. She honestly doesn’t care if her members come and make themselves at home in her apartment. Wherein the problem lies, because she can’t kick them out without seeming completely out of character and raising suspicion.

Yeosu goes to wash the strawberries at the kitchen sink, her back to the two boys as she tries to think of a way to get them to leave.  With the lie she’s weaved, she’ll have to leave her apartment soon and leave Johnny, who is still hidden in her room, alone.

“Hang on, hyung,” Jungkook speaks up, “I just got a text from Jaehyun asking to hang out.”

“Are you flaking on me?”

“Aaaaand... send. Yes, I am.”

Yeosu turns around to see Jungkook pocketing his phone while Hoseok stares at him in betrayal.

“You can’t leave me; you drove us here,” Hoseok says.

“Jungkook can drop you back off at the dorm,” Yeosu seizes the opportunity presented. “You can still borrow the movie and watch it there.”

“And you’re going out...” Hoseok sighs, “Guess I have no choice unless I want to be stranded and abandoned. No one in this group loves me.”

Yeosu can feel the weight lifting off her shoulders as Jungkook and Hoseok walk over to the entryway to put their shoes back on.

“Of course, we love you, Hobi,” Yeosu assures him.

“I’m beginning to doubt it.”

“Well, this is why you shouldn’t show up unannounced,” Yeosu chides lightly.

“Are you serious about that?” Hoseok asks.

“I love you all and you can come over whenever, just text beforehand.”

“Alright, we will.”

“Thank you.”

Hoseok hugs Yeosu goodbye, “Bye, noona.”

Jungkook hugs her as well, “Bye.”

“Bye, boys.”

She sees them out, waving at them as they walk down the hall. She shuts the door softly and leans forward against it, resting her forehead on the wood with a loud sigh of relief.

“You’re welcome.”

Yeosu turns to look over her shoulder. Johnny, still clad in only his boxers, stands beside the kitchen table.

“Did you text Jaehyun?”

“Yep. I knew the second I heard Jungkook’s voice that you wouldn’t be able to kick out your baby when it came down to it. I have to do the dishes for him for a month now.”

“What, does he secretly hate Jungkook and you had to bribe him to hang out with him?”

“No, Jae’s just a brat.”

Yeosu snickers at that, “Well, now we can have strawberries with breakfast. What are you in the mood for? I was thinking pancakes.”

“Hey, hey, hey.”

Johnny catches her wrist as she walks toward the kitchen. He tugs her toward him and spins her around so her back is pressed to his chest. He wraps his arms around her.

“What?” she asks, voice light.

“I believe we were in the middle of something,” Johnny says in her ear, “Before your members so rudely interrupted.”

“Were we? I don’t quite remember...”

Johnny hums humorlessly. He reaches in front of her and unbuttons her jeans. He turns her around in his arms and kneels down, tugging her jeans the rest of the way down her legs until she can step out of them. He stands back up, cupping her face delicately as he looks down at her.

“Allow me to enlighten you.”

He leans the rest of the way down and connects their lips. He bends down further, finding the backs of her thighs to lift her up. She wraps her legs around his waist and he holds her up easily. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, smiling into the kiss as he carries her back to their bedroom.

[jbuffyangel]

The Bermuda Triangle: Arrow 1x13 Review (Betrayal)

Time to deal with this love triangle and all the ways it is awful.

Let’s dig in...

L*uriver vs. Merlance

I frequently say to myself as I rewatch Season 1 that the triangle makes sense in theory. The writers have all the components, albeit clichéd, that should create a love triangle full of juicy drama.

Man wrongs woman in another life thereby destroying any future together

Woman falls for secret identity without realizing it is the same man who hurt her

Man “gives up” woman for her own good 

Man and best friend are in love with the same woman

Best friend changes his ways and becomes the perfect boyfriend

Woman no longer wants best friend and instead lusts for secret identity bad boy

And round and round we go. The problem is this doesn’t really tread any new ground. How many times have we seen this type of love triangle play out? MANY TIMES. Not saying a tried and true trope can’t be repeated, but if you’re going to use it then try to inject some new life into it. 

Arrow stays stubbornly in between the lines on this one, which means there are no real surprises. We know exactly where this is headed. Everyone is just waiting for L*urel to choose Oliver. Hell, even Tommy knows it is coming someday.

This brings us to our second problem. L*urel choosing Oliver is so inevitable it doesn’t require a lot of character growth for either of them. L*urel and Oliver have not dealt with ANY of the issues that caused their demise. Yes, Oliver cheated on L*urel, but there were reasons why he cheated. Those have yet to be discussed. 

We’re supposed to accept that since Oliver is wearing the hood and is out saving the streets as the vigilante then he is “worthy” of L*urel again. We’re supposed to be waiting with baited breath for L*urel to discover Oliver’s secret identity, realize he’s the man in the hood she’s been lusting after, and fall back into his arms where she belongs.

I think not. Don’t get me wrong. I love me a good triangle. I loved The Vampire Diaries. Two brothers in love with the same woman. Interesting. Woman looks exactly like the lost love that destroyed their bond a hundred years earlier? MORE INTERESTING. And kinky. 

I enjoy exploring the varying ways love is expressed in different relationships and what it can reveal about the characters. There isn’t always a right or wrong choice. There’s just a choice and it reflects the kind of love you need to live.

But I understand the complaints about love triangles. Oliver, L*urel and Tommy are the PERFECT validation of those complaints. It’s a tired way to insert some drama that has a completely predictable ending. The even bigger problem is there’s barely enough heat to melt an ice cube. L*uriver is frigid. Merlance is better, but they certainly aren’t an inferno.

“Betrayal” does an excellent job of highlighting all the love triangle problems which plague Season 1. We’re all waiting for L*urel to see that Oliver is a changed man. If only she knew he was The Hood! Her anger and hurt over Sara blinds her ability to see those changes. He needs to wear the mask, so L*urel can see who Oliver truly is. God that sounds good doesn’t it?

 IT’S NOT GOOD.

Sara was a symptom of much bigger problems between L*urel and Oliver. He did not want to be with L*urel, so he blew their relationship up in a fairly spectacular display of self sabotage.

Why doesn’t Oliver want to be with L*urel? Well... welcome to Oliver’s mind. He’s been asking himself that same question for the last five years. If he wanted to be with L*urel then he would have never left town. He would have never cheated on her with Sara. Then Sara would be alive. His father would be alive. EVERY ounce of guilt Oliver Queen carries is connected to that one single choice of leaving L*urel.

So, it’s fairly easy to understand why Oliver thinks being with L*urel will fix everything. If he can fix things with L*urel then he’s truly forgiven. It washes away the sins of the past. It’s like it never happened. At this point, this is what Oliver wants more than ANYTHING. He can’t bring Sara or Robert back. But he can resuscitate his dead relationship with his ex-girlfriend. Close enough. The man isn’t choosey after five years of misery.

Unfortunately, Oliver hasn’t changed at all when it comes to L*urel Lance. Oh I know BUT THE HOOD. Listen y’all, throwing on leather accessories and playing Robin Hood doesn’t equate to relationship therapy. Sorry writers. I need more than crime fighting to believe Oliver can be the perfect boyfriend now.

He continues to make all the same mistakes. OLIVER IS STILL LYING TO L*UREL. He lies to her every day.  He lies when he’s wearing the hood. He lies when he’s not wearing the hood. LIES LIES LIES LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIESS. Oliver continues to hide who he truly is from L*urel. Different outfit. Same problems.

This brings us to SO. MUCH. MISOGYN. Lance is using the phone The Hood gave L*urel to trap him. Whenever we are looking at betrayal and the Lance family it’s important to grade on a curve. It’s a dirty move on Quentin’s part, but far from the gold medal of betrayals this family achieves.

Source: @laurelsource

Everyone finds out that L*urel is working with the Hood and by everyone I mean Tommy. Quentin follows L*urel with a battalion of police officers to her meeting with The Hood. He’s gathered information on a newly released crime boss, Cyrus Vanch. When Oliver realizes they’ve been busted he holds L*urel by the throat as cover so he can jump off the roof. BuT tHeIr LoVe Is iS hEaLtHy.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource

As L*urel rants to her current boyfriend (yes I use the word “current” on purpose), he pieces together that she’s been lying to him about working with The Hood.

Source: THEARROWGIFS:

L*urel: He's been lying to me for weeks.

Tommy: Yeah feels like crap doesn't it?

Are we surprised L*urel fails to see the hypocrisy in her little rant?

We are not. This is why Tommy was always the better man for L*urel. He actually had a pair and would call her on her BS. Oliver was incapable of doing until well into Season 2, but I digress.

So, Tommy goes to his best friend Oliver for relationship advice. I know this is a television show, but why in the ever living mother of Zeus do L*urel and Tommy think OLIVER is the best person to ask for relationship advice?

Oliver: Tommy, every time you want to talk to me about something, and that something is L*urel, you look like you’re about to tell me you have some terminal disease.

Me: He does have a terminal disease. It’s called L*URIVER.

Tommy: She’s been working with The Hood guy.

Oliver: What? You’re letting her work with that crazy person? She could get hurt Tommy.

Tommy: I’m not letting her do anything. I only just found out about it.

I know this episode aired in 2012, but talk about some patriarchal bullshit. The entire episode is filled with language like this. Quentin, Oliver, Tommy and The Hood all act like L*urel needs their permission to go to the bathroom. New flash fellas: If L*urel wants to engage in nightly rendezvous with a serial killer that’s her business.

L*urel says something to similar effect, but is summarily blown off by whatever male she’s speaking to. She meets up with The Hood after he and Lance save her from Cyrus Vanch.  

Source: BJ-HUNNICUTTS-BLOG 

It seems The Hood didn’t think through all the ways talking to L*urel on a phone and meeting her secretly on rooftops would put her in danger.

Source: BJ-HUNNICUTTS-BLOG

L*urel: I knew the risks.

The Hood: Now I know them and I’m not willing to take them with you.

L*urel: What does that mean?

It means he wants to bone you, L*urel. Get a clue. 

Holy hell, these conversations make her look stupid. L*urel, do you know a lot of six foot men with similar build and facial hair to Oliver Queen? 

Maybe she would take issue with his infantilizing if she stopped speaking like a three year old whenever The Hood is around. 

Source: LAURELSOURCE

She has this dazed expression too. I know L*urel is so overwhelmed with all the ATTRACTION and LUST that her eyes dilate and the bosom heaves, but I’m starting to think a taser gun is how they forced Katie do scenes with Stephen.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource 

The point is nobody is all that interested in L*urel’s agency – INCLUDING L*UREL. I understand “secret identity” is a very common trope in hero’s stories, but it never makes any sense to me. Shouldn’t the “true love” be the first person to know who the hero is and not the last? Oliver keeps saying he can’t tell the people he loves who he truly is because it will put them in danger. So, he doesn’t care if Diggle gets killed? His logic makes no sense.  If this was truly about protecting people then why did he need a partner?

And no – you can’t use John can protect himself. We just watched L*urel throw down with that umbrella. She was lethal. 

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource 

Oliver is the king of compartmentalization. He does not know how to merge his two selves yet. He cannot fathom showing Thea, Moira, Tommy and L*urel his darkest self because that means being honest about what happened the five years he was away and what it did to him. That will be a hard pass from our leather clad hero.

My other issue with the love triangle (in addition to all the lying and misogyny) is Oliver comes off like an asshole. He manipulates Tommy with statements like, "L*urel is lying? That doesn't seem like her” and “ have an honest chat with her” like there is something in their relationship causing her to lie or that Tommy is responsible for L*urel’s behavior. He’s slowly pecking away at the Merlance walls until it crumbles. DIRTY POKER OLIVER QUEEN.

But then we arrive at this gross fest:

Tommy: There’s some sort of infatuation thing going on here. We both know that she has a pretty strong track record of being attracted to guys who are dangerous, who break the rules. Show me a more dangerous rule breaker than The Hood.

Oliver: I just think you need to have an honest chat with her. Find out the real reason she’s keep secrets.

Tommy: I just can’t believe that L*urel of all people would lie to my face. I guess that’s the way it is with the people you are closest to.

Oliver: I know, but talk to her anyway. And fix this before it becomes something that’s unfixable.

Did this conversation actually happen?

Does anyone else find it weird that Tommy and Oliver psychoanalyze L*urel’s dating preferences? 

And even weirder they are ACCURATE? 

Credit where credit is due. L*urel likes bad boys right up until they become good boys. Then she’s off to find the next asshole that will lie, cheat and disappoint her. (We could do an entire novel’s worth of L*urel Lance’s toxic dating choices).

Even worse, Tommy concludes she has the hots for The Hood like it’s nothing. Like it’s completely normal and okay behavior. 

Holy hell man! Tommy, maybe L*urel has beaten any self respect into the ground, but IT’S OK TO EXPECT YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO NOT BE INFATUATED WITH OTHER MEN.

What’s really gross is Oliver lies straight to Tommy’s face (no differently than L*urel did) while using the secret identity to engage in inappropriate flirting with his best friend’s girlfriend. He uses the hood to say things to L*urel that he would NEVER say as Oliver Queen. And L*urel never tells The Hood she has a boyfriend or to back off. In fact, she encourages the behavior. THIS. IS. CHEATING. Maybe not physical, but it sure is emotional.

Let’s also never forget L*urel started sleeping with Tommy as a way to stick it to Oliver. She wasn’t expecting to develop real feelings for Tommy, and I do believe she loves him, but that doesn’t erase the toxicity of this cycle that somebody needs to end.

There’s just no good here, my friends. 

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource 

The writers are relying on an empty “they are supposed to be together” promise without providing any evidence why. Neither L*urel nor Oliver has changed in a meaningful way to support giving their relationship another try. The problem between them wasn’t whether or not Oliver fought street crime. The problem was honesty. Between all the lying and just-on-the-line cheating, I’d argue they bring out the worst in each other. Nuclear winter has better chemistry. Need I go on?

Ok. I will.

The only one who has shown any growth is Tommy. This is change L*urel encouraged in Tommy, but then he became dependable and honest, so she started lusting after The Hood. Both Oliver and L*urel are lying to him about a variety of things. With friends like these who needs enemies? 

L*urel is treated like some prize, but is she a prize they really want to win? Neither man is given a reason to love L*urel beyond she’s who they are supposed to want.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource 

Don’t get me wrong. I am a Merlance shipper, but it is hard to root for their ship at this point. If the writers just left them alone and let them be adorable then it would be fine.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource 

BUT. THEY. KEEP. INSERTING. OLIVER.

And where is L*urel’s character? We’re thirteen episodes in and she’s too busy flip flopping personalities for me to nail her down to one specifically. For arguments sake, let’s say the hot and cold behavior IS one of her main traits. It only surfaces in relation to Oliver. L*urel flips on him which causes her to flop on Tommy. L*urel’s actions are simply a reaction to Oliver.  That’s not agency. That’s a prop.

Source: @dinahlaurellancesource 

It’s almost like the writers can’t be bothered with more. She’s a justice seeking, self sacrificing attorney who works pro bono. TA DA! Character is complete. Nothing more to see here! 

Well, if that’s the criteria then why isn’t Joanna in the running for hero’s true love? Throw Annie Ilonzeh in a room with Stephen Amell. Let’s see if the chemistry is any better.

The writers haven’t constructed L*urel’s character beyond a hockey puck for Tommy and Oliver to pass to each other until we reach the inevitable conclusion of L*urel “choosing” Oliver. It’s like watching a train speed toward a brick wall. I know the crash is coming, but I’m not apprehensive about it or grotesquely fascinated or even scared. I’m just want out of this Bermuda Triangle.

Quentin and L*urel

The only real interesting facet of L*urel’s character is her relationship with her father. I love the raw pain between them. It is always just under the surface. The writers throw those problems like grenades in their scenes together. Katie isn’t given much to work with, but her best material is always with Paul Blackthorne.

Source: LAURELSOURCE 

Quentin using his daughter as bait was brilliant, but shadey. Super shadey. It also had the unintended consequence of getting her kidnapped by a mob boss. Oops. I sort of love that Quentin had to eat crow and call The Hood for help once he figured out there was a dirty cop feeding Vance information.

L*urel is in a rage after being held hostage by The Hood. (He can use her as a human shield because he loves her. No problems here. Nope nope nope!) Quentin really hoped L*urel would appreciate his fine detective work, but she’s pretty pissed off about all the guns pointed at her. She feels her father has lost his perspective on this particular case.

L*urel: Are you gonna find another criminal? Someone else to blame for mom leaving, for Sara dying, for your drinking?

The gloves come off! Daaaaaamn. The booze? We’re going there? Meow.

I agree Quentin Lance has an addictive personality. He directs his rage and grief into an outlet he can control. Hmm… who else does that?

However, L*urel’s indignation is a little much. She is cavorting with a known criminal. The same criminal her father is investigating. L*urel does nothing to help the investigation and one could argue she impedes the investigation. This is called obstruction of justice, Counselor. L*urel actually commissioned the crime The Hood is perpetrating this week, so she could also be charged as an accessory after the fact. Maybe even aiding and abetting. So, her horror at the police pointing guns at her is somewhat ludicrous. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.

Source: LAURELSOURCE 

L*urel spends much of the episode fighting the rampant patriarchy and misogyny of the men around her by firmly accepting the danger of working with the vigilante.  She is prepared to take those risks. 

Source: LAURELSOURCE 

But then L*urel is appalled the second she’s put in any danger and holds all the men responsible for not keeping her safe.

She can be mad her dad lied to her, but stop clutching the pearls. If L*urel wants to play the vigilante game then she is going to be used as bait and occasionally get kidnapped. That’s what everyone means by danger, girl. You’re either in or you’re out. If you’re in then you don’t get to blame anyone else for danger knocking on your door. Own your choices honey. THY NAME IS AGENCY.

Oliver and Diggle

This is week 323 of Diggle arguing that Moira is guilty as sin and Oliver ignoring the massive pile of evidence supporting that belief. 

Ok, it hasn’t been that many weeks, but it feels like it. Thou Shall Not Question Diggle. He is always right, but Oliver digs his stubborn heels in. So, John offers to drive Moira around for a week and bugs her. As one does.

Oliver: You bugged my mother?

This is how OTA shows their love, Oliver.  Diggle knows Moira is a slippery snake and can wiggle out of any question Oliver asks her. She even burns the copy of the List Felicity gave him after Oliver confronts her with it.  

Moira insists she never associated with the people in Robert’s book and knew it only as a list of people who owed him favors. Oliver believes his mother is trying to protect her children from Walter’s fate.

So, John gets Moira ON TAPE discussing The Undertaking with Malcolm Merlyn and the sabotage of Robert Queen’s boat. 

We’re going to ignore that Moira’s voice is perfectly identifiable, but Merlyn’s is about ten octaves lower. The point is these are information diamonds Diggle unearths and Oliver FINALLY agrees to pay his mother a visit as The Hood.

Flashbacks

The best part of the flashbacks is meeting all the people who helped Oliver Queen become The Hood. 

Source: @olivergifs​

Hello Slade Wilson! He’s a massively important character in Arrow and it is fun to rewatch how he came into Oliver’s life.

Slade and his partner, the man who tortured Oliver, are Australian Intelligence who came to Lian Yu to free Yao Fei. Slade and Yao Fei have been monitoring an air field so they can escape the island, but he cannot take it alone. There is always a reason behind all of Yao Fei’s actions, but it takes Slade a minute to figure out why he sent Oliver.

Slade: You have no skill. No strength. No training. To say you fight like a girl would be a compliment.

I’m equally indignant and amused by that line. Slade doesn’t believe Oliver will be any help to him because well… he met him. If Oliver is ever captured again he could reveal Slade’s location.  So, he decides to behead Oliver. It’s the nice thing to do. It won’t hurt a bit. What can I say guys? It’s Lian Yu! These are how the memories are made.

Oliver dislocates his shoulder and punches Slade in a vain attempt to defend himself. Yao Fei may be a softer judge of character, but he’s not wrong about Oliver’s survival instinct. Slade sees the fight in Oliver’s eyes and finally understands why Yao Fei sent him. They need Oliver to survive as much as he needs them. He might not be much to look at now, but Slade Wilson is just the man to harness Oliver’s will and turn him into the fighter they all need him to become.

Stray Thoughts

David Anders is like my personal Kevin Bacon. He's in everything I watch. #Arrow #TVD #Alias #OUAT

I was never all that jazzed when L*urel was the damsel in distress and I love that crap. Another clue I didn't ship it. Source:  LAURELSOURCE

Do people on this show not realize you can’t touch evidence? JFC.

Twenty four arrows in the quiver. Good to know.

“It doesn’t mean I have to read the bastard his rights though.” IF YOU WANT THE CHARGES TO STICK YOU DO.

I am so confused on what type of law L*urel practices. Her firm works for a victim’s advocacy group, but she also prosecutes criminal cases. This feels like a radiologist performing heart surgery.

KC is just really bad at action scenes. It's always so awkward.

Musings of the Kiddo

Kiddo: Does he ever run out of arrows?

Me: He has extra in the car.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

[popculturebuffet]

Amphibia: Ivy on The Run and After the Rain Reviews

Hello all you happy people! We’re into week two and after far too long we finally get some answers.. well okay not the ones we thought we were getting but hey you take what you get sometimes. Point is it’s a big week, with a fun ivycentric episode that fleshes her and Felcia out and a far more serious episode that finally explains a few things, not saying what things because spoilers. So join me under the cut for some smiles, some tears, and a bit of Muay Thai and Myagi-Do as I break things down. 

Ivy on the Run:

I was pleased as punch to find out Ivy was getting an episode. While I couldn’t say she was a faviorite of mine, I always found Katie Crowns performance exceptional, and her a delight to watch. The character wasn’t bad.. but EVERY episode up to this one involving her was about her and Sprig’s relationship which while really fucking precious left little room to flesh her out beyond a love of ambushes and being into the same kid stuff Sprig was into. 

This episode not only corrects that but also takes another suprising leap for the series in having Ivy clearly be the main character of the episode. While this isn’t the first episode to spotlight a citzen of wartwood.. it’s the first where the Plantars are side characters in the plot instead of just as important as whoever got focus or usually more important. Here Ivy is the lead of the episode: We open on her waking up for the day (Or rather having been awake for hours to trick her alarm clock), get a sense of her personality.. and of the episodes conflict: Ivy’s desire to be free and explore versus her mothe’rs constnat anal renttientve insistence she do tea related stuff like fold swans properly. IT’s a decent enough conflict that gets elevated by hte twist at the end. 

So she runs out after that to meet up with Sprig, and ambush him because that’s how thier relationship works. And what I really like here is while their relationships still present in the episode it’s thankfully not the focus or even realy lreated. Their clearly together, it’s just not the focus of the episode> Just some nice ranch dressing atop this salad. While they go to hunt for glitter beetles, Anne is teaching Polly, Muay Thai. The martial art of champions.. specifically one eyed ones who like to put tiger in front of their moves. As for why she took it up her mom wanted somewhere to put her energy, as seen in a flashback with a young Anne adorably banging on pans while singing her own version of Wannabe by the Spice Girls. It’s fucking precious. 

So the couple happily go beetle hunting i’ts precious.. but Ivy’s patience with her mother starts to run out as her mother loudly interupts her hunt to return her for tea practice: stirring it, setting tables, folding swans that sorta thing. All things she clearly dosen’t WANT to do or like and gives the impression Felcia is trying to force her daughter to become more like her and less like herself which... no. Just no. 

Ivy eventually hits her limit with this bullshit, tells her mother off and then stomps off to her room whiel her Mom fails ot understand that MAYBE being hypercirtical of your daughter, even if it turns out you have a good reason, might backfire. Ivy is encouraged by her posters, great scene by the way, to run away and leave town, and take Sprig with her.. whose relcutant as he talked himself up as being really well liked and savy out there but was just okay in practice. 

Meanwhile Polly and Anne continue training but Polly can’t get it as she just can’t calm down and focus, and Anne easily blocks her. In constrast Wally shows up, having apparently been watching them. 

And picks it up instantly. I can see why; Wally seems a bit scatterbrained due to his weird and wonderful nature.. but we’ve seen him be entirely capable when the chips are down, and to be a talented musician. So while he’d SEEM like he’d lack focus, it’s probably way easier to him than the impatient tadpole who just wants to kick ass without getting it takes a few steps. 

Meanwhile Sprig tries to talk his girlfriend out of running away together at 10 only for Sylvia to tail them with those bee phone things she used earlier.. and also be there, as once they clear those out she’s waiting and both end up at the Muay Thai class. Things finally hit their breaking point and Ivy wishes she never had family... and I think this is what finally gets it in Felicia’s head she messed up. She meant well.. but sh’es clearly been so hard on her child that, even if she instnatnly regrets it, she’s willing to disown her own mother if it means getting away from her. 

So Felica gives her a way out: Martial Arts Match. Because nothing says parental love like fighting your daughter for her freedom. Though in her defense things are pretty fair: three matches, and Ivy just needs to win ONE by getting a point on her, like in a martial arts competition. I only know that’s what they were going for because I binged Cobra Kai last month along with the first two Karate Kids. 

And that refrence isn’t for nothing as Felcia easily dominates the first two matches using Miyagi-Do esque moves i.e. pure defense, and with a Miyagi style lesson inside as for the final one.. she has Ivy repeat the various tea things she’d had her do, and just like that amazing fucking scene from Karate Kid, Ivy can now fight and realizes her mother was training her the whole time, as her mom simply wanted her to be readly and as for why Felcia herself is a karate master, she picked it up while gathering tea as naturally it’s incredibly dangerous in amphibia.  

So Felcia let’s her daughte win and expalins she just wanted her to be safe.. which is nice but while her devistaiton earlier clearly shows it, it still dosen’t QUITE justify how hard she was or not telling her why when her daughter is a clear tomboy. I do get the Miyagi-Do training style: it builds muscle memory and means you can defend without thinking, fight without having to plan every punch and kick. It’s brilliant.. but you have to match the training to the student. Daniel hated his traning too.. but Miyagi clearly KNEW he would, knew he’d give out and set it all up that way. Felcia.. nearly pushed her daughter into running away and never apologized. It’s not all terrible as there is the implciation this whole match was Felcia realizing she had to make it clera what she was doing, but it’s still fairly torubling the episode never adresses her behavior outright., even if they make up and Felciia plans to take her along next time. Also Polly punches wally in the face... eh he’l lbe fine. 

Final Thoughts on Ivy on the Run: This one was decent. As said the final part feels a bit... ehhh..as it feels they don’t adress Felicia’s controlling attitude enough.. but it dosen’t detract from a pretty fun episode, especially the Muay Thai stuff. That was an unexpected treat. And let’s face it after recently getting in deep with the franchise thanks to cobra kai, I can’t hate anything that reminds me of  the Karate Kid. In a good way at least. 

After The Rain:

Well this was both a long time coming and as painful as I expected. And after over a year and a half, we FINALLY get some answers.. not ALL the answers but some. Look you know what this episode is about, I know what this episode is about, let’s get cracking in round 2. 

So Anne’s got a letter, anne’s got a letter I wonder who it’s from. Marcy.. it’s from Marcy. Turns out she’s ready to go to the first temple, and even sent them a check list: weapons, food (check and check) and armor. Hop Pop already thought of that.. but instead of badass and practical armor.. it’s padded sumo suits that they can’t move in because “less mobility means less trouble”. Or you’ll get eaten by a hawk.. which given this show is probably also on fire and can shoot acid out of its’ eyes. Or lasers. Or acid lasers. The point is their gonna die. THey also naturally need the music box... which Hop Pop about craps himself hearing. Gee it’s almost like not getting the box sooner when you knew damn well abotu the temple thing and that they’d need it kinda bit you on the froggy bottom Hopidiah. 

It gets worse for him as while he mentions his ‘contacts” again.. that night he goes to dig it up. Problem is, Anne follows him when she hears footsteps, and while she initially assumes i’ts just him being a weirdo and plans to suprise him... we instead get the gut punch we’ve been anticpating for the last year and a half.  Hop Pop shouts about the box being gone, clearly panicked... and Anne hears him, utterly devistated and rightfully FURIOUS. He confesses the truth, clearly feeling guilty for what he’s done and lying all this time but Anne dosen’t want to hear it and storms off. 

Yeah as you can tell this is a rough one. So next morning Hop Pop, who clearly hasn’t slept and given his surrogate grandaughter just rightfully walked out on him why would he, confesses to the kids what he did. And while neither like what he did .. they prioritize getting Anne back, sending him to go fix his mess while they find the box. 

The box turns out to not be the only thing missing: various other things around town have been stolen, including a talisman that if Maddie dosen’t get it back will have horrifying consequences. Classic Maddie. As for why Swampy Joe has the answer: the magpie beetle, a beetle that emerges once every 20 years to steal stuff to use as a shell to impress mates. They find the box.. but it’s in a seatle of beatles and soon get swamped.  Meanwhile Anne’s returned to the cave and... okay i’m just going to have to power through or this episodes going to kill me with sadness. After some bits about her and her rock rocky, Hop Pop finds her and she still has nothing to say to him, again for good reaosn, but before he can get to telling her WHY he did it, they hear the others crying for help and Anne tries to rescue them herself, only helping hop pop do so when he points out they NEED to and even if she rightfully dosen’t trust him she needs to for now. THey save the kids.. and Anne STILL wants to leave.

We then get an even bigger gut punch. It turns out Hop Pop didn’t hide the box for some big reveal.. regarding the box. Turns out it’s not the box itself, his book just says it’s dangerous and w’ell likely find out any specifics it had next week. It’s Hop Pop’s lingering trauma. While we don’t find out why the Box is dangerous.. we do find out what hapepned to their parents. And I just want to say before we get into that Bill Farmer’s acting this WHOLE episode is some of hte finest, if not THE finest in his career. HIs guilt, his pain.. it’s all so raw and palpable. Brenda Song’s no slouch either, Anne’s pain and anger is likewise very well done, but Bill is far and away the mvp of the episode.. and this scene is why. 

He reveals he’s been so cautious, so scared for the kids and so overly protective in general.. because of how the kids parents died, something they don’t blame him for but he does: He was out of town on buisness.. when a pair of herons attacked. Sprig and Polly got to the family bunker in time.. their parents... weren’t so lucky. It’s not the big bombastic arc related death we all thought was coming.. but I like it for it’s brutal nightmarish simplicity. They didn’t die some heroic death, they aren’t still here.. they just died like SO MANY background frogs have. Two wild giant animals they coudln’t possibly defend against got em. Nothing could’ve been done no matter what Hop Pop thinks, theirs no way they coudl’ve been saved, and i’ts LUCKY their children didn’t share the same fate. But their gone and it gives a new, awful meaning to Hop Pop’s overproectivness. Before it was mildly justified if a bit strict.. now.. i’ts him trying not to loose what he has left. Trying to hold on tight to his grandkids so he dosen’t loose anyone else.

He hid the box because his trauma and guilt were so severe he did something very stupid, and regretted it ever since and begs anne to forgive him in THE best line read of Bill Farmer’s long and storied career. And she does, hugging her Hop Pop gently, realizing that while he fucked up.. she gets WHY he did.. and that he’s sorry for it. He wasn’t tyring to keep her from going home or any messed up shit.. he just was trying to keep her and his other kids alive. And as Sprig and Polly say it’s not his fault, it never could’ve been.. he can’t help but feel that way. You just feel.. powerless when you loose someone, like you could’ve done something even though 9/10 you couldn’t have and it leaves a hole you never quite fill. So this hit like a truck. But our family is reconclied and the kids get a look at the entry in  Hop Pop’s ancestral book. What does it say besides it bad? what does this mean? We’ll find out next week. For now it’s just good to have them all together again. 

Final Thoughts on After the Rain: This episode is a masterpiece. It’s exepertly crafted, sticks in a few gags for flavor and only has the sprig and polly plot to help keep the main meat of the plot as light as it needs to be.. and it works. The few scenes we get with Anne and Hop Pop are just plain brutal and exactly what’s needed. It’s one of the series best, painful, raw and with a twist I dind’t see coming. I expected, again like most of us for the kdis parents deaths to be tied into it.. but instead.. it’s just trauma. But it’s satisfying enough that it feels like a great payoff, that it wasn’t some big dark secret like misdirected... it was just an old man who didn’t want to loose what family he had left. And that’s fucking brilliant. 

Next Week: THE FIRST TEMPLE BABY! The Plantars and Marcie head into the woods to fight moblins and ggghosts! I mean.. that is what the forest temple is right? 

Until then follow me for more reviews, follow me on my patreon your support would be appricated and see you at the next rainbow. 

[star-spangled-steve]

His New Partner

Chapter 32: The Baby Blues

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 1429

Warnings: Angst, postpartum depression, self-deprecation, cussing, some tears.

A/N: Why not throw in a little Spidey here and there?

Little Anthony got rocked from side to side, distressed whispers in his ear. “Shh, shh, don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.”

Tony and Pepper watched in pity as their godson bawled in his mother’s arms. They could see the emotional distress on Y/N’s face and wished that they could help, but knew that it would take more than just quieting her son to fix the long-term issue.

Y/N had postpartum depression. Everyone in the Compound was aware of it, except she herself of course. They all saw the bags under her eyes, the tears that seemed to never stop staining her cheeks. They all noticed how she’d only eat once a day, and how she’d be awake most hours of the night; even if her baby was sound asleep. They all heard the faint mutters under her breath of ‘You’re doing horrible, Y/N’, and ‘You’re being a terrible mother’. Everyone around her knew how much pain she was in, but the girl never actually acknowledged it.

Whenever anyone would ever ask her how she was feeling, Y/N would just brush it off. She’d say that she was ‘doing fine’, or that she was ‘honestly just a bit sleepy’. All of her friends were trying to help, but were really not sure what to do at this point.

“Hey, N/N, do you need me to take him off your hands for a little while?” Tony asked the girl, approaching his namesake with open arms. He hoped that if Y/N would have a bit of time to herself, she could calm down on her own.

“Thanks, Tony, but we’re okay.” She turned her head back to her sobbing son and continued to bounce him, patting his back lightly. “Come on, baby. Shh, shh, please quiet down for mommy.”

The billionaire faced his girlfriend and shrugged, silently asking for her to do something.

Pepper nodded before stepping forward and placing a hand on the girl’s back. “You sure he doesn’t want to spend some time with his godparents? Tony and I can play a mean game of peekaboo-”

“He’s fine!”

The room went quiet at Y/N’s yell, everyone focusing on the tears that sprang into her eyes way too suddenly.

“We’re fine.” She subtly sniffled, hoping that nobody would notice how easily she began to cry. “Okay?”

Pepper nodded. “Okay, sweetie. Okay.” The woman turned towards her boyfriend and frowned, hoping that together they could come up with some way to figure this all out.

*****

“Goddamn it!” The new mother shouted after spilling her son’s bucket of toys all over the floor. She quickly put him in his crib before crouching down to pick them up, more negative thoughts filling her mind.

‘You make a mess out of everything.’

She was just finished placing them back in the bin when she noticed that baby Anthony was fast asleep, and she sighed in relief. “Finally.”

The girl walked over to her bed and flopped right onto it. She pinched the bridge of her nose, something that she did when she was stressed, and stared up at the ceiling. It was almost as if she was asking it for answers, but knew that she wouldn’t get any. Nothing was giving her answers anymore; not when she refused to accept any, subconsciously or not.

‘There, he’s asleep. At least you can do one thing right.’

Y/N had no idea why her brain worked like this. For a while during her pregnancy, she was actually doing great. Barely any self-deprecating thoughts, complete faith in her abilities as a mother, no ideas of turning back or running away. But after the baby was born, everything just hit differently. She began to focus more on the smaller details, critique herself every minute, feel as though she couldn’t do this anymore. She just wished that all the horrible thoughts would disappear, but all that they continued to do was grow. 

‘You’re an awful mother.’

‘Anthony would be better off without you. Hell, everyone would.’

‘No wonder Steve left.’

A knock on her door broke Y/N out of her depressing spiral. “Uh, um, come in.”

Pepper poked her head in the room. “Hey, honey. You okay to have a little talk?”

“Uhm, ya, sure.” The girl sat up on her bed, allowing the other woman to sit down beside her. “What about?”

“We just wanted to make sure that you’re feeling okay.”

“We?”

Pepper gave her a small smile. “All of us. We know that you’ve been feeling down lately, and we want to help you as best as we can, but you’re not letting us in.”

Y/N shook her head, trying to fib her way out of this. “Who said that I’m feeling down? I already told you guys, I’m fine.”

“N/N,” the strawberry blonde sighed, “it’s kind of obvious that you’re not.”

“Honestly, I-”

“And before you try to deny it,” she held up a finger in the younger girl’s face, “we’ve already talked to a professional about your symptoms, and they agree with us as well.”

Y/N dropped her head in displeasure. “You didn’t have to call a professional. It’s not a big deal.”

“Oh, so your postpartum depression isn’t a big deal?”

“It’s not-!” The girl stood up from her seat and brought her hands to her head. “Jesus, Pepper. I don’t have postpartum depression. It’s just a small case of the baby blues.”

Pepper shook her head, feeling quite bad for the stress that this was putting Y/N through. “The baby blues aren’t supposed to last more than two weeks. You’ve had Anthony James for over five months now.” She stood up as well and brought the young mother into her arms. “It’s okay to admit that you have a problem, N/N. The faster you acknowledge it, the quicker we can solve it.”

Y/N nodded into her shoulder, beginning to sob too; not out of sadness, but out of relief, and something else that was much like hope. “Thank you, Pep.”

“Don’t thank me.” The woman stated lovingly. “You deserve the have someone look after you.” She rocked her friend back and forth, feeling her relax in her embrace. “Would you be okay with going out to see someone? Maybe a counsellor?”

“G-Go out?” Y/N questioned with slight fear.

“Okay, okay, not go out.” Pepper chuckled. “What if someone came to you? Would you be okay with that?” She felt another nod against her shoulder and smiled, patting the girl’s back. “Awesome, N/N. That’s taking the first steps right there.”

*****

Y/N was sitting on one of the Compound’s many couches, baby Anthony placed on her lap, when a teenage boy came by. He continued to walk for a couple of seconds before doing a quick double take, noticing that a woman who he’s only ever seen through the television screen was right there in his presence.

“Y-You’re-” he stuttered while pointing at her, “You’re Y/N R-Rogers. Oh my god. Uh, hi. I’m Peter.” He came forward and stuck out his hand. “It’s an honour to meet you. I love your work.”

The girl chuckled before accepting his hand shake. “Aw, thank you, Peter. You’re sweet. Though I have to wonder what you’re doing around here. You seem a bit young.” She looked at him confusedly.

“I can say the same thing about this little guy.” He waved to the baby, seeing Y/N laugh in response. “I-I was talking to Tony Stark about this… um… internship thing.”

“Ah, nice.” She nodded.

“Ya.” The boy, Peter, smiled. “Um, w-what’s his name?”

Y/N bounced her son up and down on her lap, watching him giggle and gurgle at her. “This is Anthony James. We call him A.J.”

“He’s adorable.” The teenager spoke, crouching down to the baby’s level. “Is he yours?”

The girl nodded, rubbing her boy’s tiny back.

“S-So this is Captain America’s baby?” Peter asked in astonishment.

Y/N inhaled a breath at his words, before quickly covering up her anguish. “Yup.”

“Wow.” The young man marvelled. “Kid’s basically American royalty. I’m honestly surprised I’ve never heard of him. Wouldn’t the press have been all over thi-? Wait a minute. What about Steve? Isn’t he-?”

“Gone? Yes.” Y/N answered, trying to hide any sadness. “It’s okay, though. We’re making it work.”

Peter nodded, suddenly feeling guilty for ambushing her. “Oh goodness, I’m sorry. I just met you and I’m pestering you with all of these personal questions.”

Y/N simply smiled and waved it off, glancing down at her six-month-old son with contentedness. “No worries. I’ve actually been told that it’s healthy to vocalize this stuff.”

Next Chapter

Feedback is always welcome!

Taglist: @crist1216 @songforhema @the-obsessive-fangirl @stressedandbandobessed7771 @straightforwardly @fruitypebbles34 @krazykatkay456 @the-kang-bang @uhh-katie-griffiths @mcuclintasha @capsiclesdoll @allsortsofinterests @nova3312 @tyes-girl @kind-sober-fullydressed @mschrisaholic @shirukitsune @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @mccloudchloe @notyourtypicalrose @spider-captain @jesseswartzwelder @firecatcher007 @ctrl-alt-jeon @dixonluvv @may-machin @elew223 @fallenoutofrose @secretsihideinside @kaetastic @smolcuddlycub @deepfrz @avengersassemblee @04justanotherfangirl01

Tell me if you want to be added!❤️

[chucksbruins]

two ghosts, ch. 7

Author’s Note: So sorry this took so long but hope you guys enjoy!

Things after the party returned to relatively normal between Eliza and Tyler, save for the occasional text from her congratulating him on a big game, or him complaining about having to deal with Meredith and Roope’s overzealous flirting. Eliza wouldn’t call their relationship a friendship, but they were definitely more than just acquaintances. On the few times that Meredith had managed to drag her to a nightclub and the Stars showed up, they exchanged pleasantries but he never bought her more than one drink before his attention was swept away by a leggy blonde or the occasional brunette. Eliza was at least glad he diversified his conquests on the occasion.

Whilst neither friends nor acquaintances, they had certainly never crossed the line of asking the other to hang out outside of an unplanned run-in or group activity. Until Tyler’s name had popped up on Eliza’s phone screen twenty minutes earlier with a simple request.

“Are you busy tonight? I need to see you.”

A million scenarios ran through Eliza’s mind, her emotions ranging from complete confusion to curiosity that couldn’t be denied. She responded to let him know that she was in fact free and asked what time he was thinking.

“9 pm. I’ll come to yours.”

Unsure how he could possibly have remembered her address from the one time he dropped her home, a new sense of worry washed over her. She knew she should have taken an Uber. Pushing her thoughts aside, she quickly changed from her sweatpants into a pair of grey leggings, throwing a knitted sweater over her T-shirt with 10 minutes to spare. Adding a spritz of her favorite perfume, she looked in the mirror and debated putting on makeup but figured her natural look was better than rushing and looking like a clown. Just as she was swiping on a coat of lip balm, the doorbell rang.

The sight of Tyler standing in her doorway was almost comical. Besides the way his broad shoulders just barely fit between the width of the door, his tailored pants and suit jacket screamed money while the peeling paint of her doorway said the opposite. Everything about the picture just seemed out of place and only reaffirmed to Eliza that a guy like Tyler did not belong in her life. His brows were furrowed, but otherwise his face gave no indication of his emotions.

“Can I come in?”

Eliza stepped back to allow him space to get by her, letting out a quiet breath as she shut the door behind him. She followed him, suddenly nervous, as he made his way into her apartment. She couldn’t explain the feelings of anxiety that coursed through her as she watched him take in her small living room and even smaller kitchen. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the memories of the last time she had been in the same apartment as a man out of her mind. Tyler, whilst sometimes and asshole and most definitely a playboy, was not Evan.

“Can I get you anything? Tea? Water?”

Tyler finally turned around and gave her a wry smile. “Got anything stronger than that?”

Eliza laughed. “So, it’s that kind of night, hey?”

Fishing through her top cabinet, she pulled out a bottle of Jameson and set it on the counter as Tyler followed her into her kitchen. Pouring a sizeable amount into two glasses, she joined Tyler at the small table where Tyler was now sprawled.

“So....are you going to explain why you’re here?” Eliza asked, her voice more abrasive than she’d meant.

Tyler stared down at his glass before taking a hefty swig and emptying it. Eliza quirked an eyebrow as he finally lifted his eyes to meet her own.

“I needed a distraction and you were the first person I thought to call.”

Eliza scoffed, using all of her self-control to refrain from rolling her eyes at him. She took a sip of her own drink before continuing on.

“Tyler, we both know that’s just simply not true. I’m sure there are a million and two ‘Ashley’s’ in your phone who would just die for your name to pop up on their screen. Plus, I’m not sure what kind of distraction you had in mind, but I’m not sleeping with you just for you to feel better.”

Tyler stared unamused at Eliza, although she was unsure whether the flush across his cheeks was indicative of the whiskey that was coursing through his system or from her knowingly calling him out.

“Eliza I’m very aware there are other girls I could easily call if all I needed was a fuck.”

Downing the rest of her drink, she stood abruptly from the table, slamming her glass on the counter before turning back to him in annoyance.

“Alright, well if you’re not here to get laid why are you here Tyler. And maybe try answering the fucking question without insulting me this time.”

Letting out a heavy breath, Tyler made his way to Eliza, leaning his hip against the counter and towering over her.

“Hey, hey, hey I’m sorry okay? I came here to talk because you’re the only person in my whole fucking life that I figured wouldn’t care about the fact that I haven’t scored in a month who wouldn’t try to just sleep with me to make me ‘feel better’.”

The accusatory hardness that held Eliza’s features softened, her brows furrowing as her eyes filled with a warmth that Tyler couldn’t deny pierced through his exasperation and spread through his chest. It was a feeling Tyler had been unfamiliar with for a very long time, and everything in him screamed to push her away, knowing he had already admitted too much. He couldn’t explain what had compelled him to text Eliza after their crushing loss and while his head battled with whether or not it had been a good idea, one look in her eyes made him feel calmness like he never had before.

Letting out a sigh, Eliza hesitated, drawing her lip between her teeth before folding herself into Tyler’s chest. As if on instinct, his arms wrapped around her small body as his head dropped onto her head as he squeezed her closer. Tyler truly couldn’t remember the last time he had hugged someone off the rink after a goal, and all of Dallas was enjoying reminding him that that hadn’t happened in far too long.

On the other hand, Eliza wasn’t entirely sure what compelled her to wrap herself around Tyler’s firm torso, knowing only that the sadness and frustration in his eyes were too much for her to handle. The only thing that ran through her mind was her mother’s voice, soft and kind as she would squeeze Eliza’s small body into her own and remind her that ‘Every problem in the world can be made a little bit better with a hug’. As she felt the tension release from his body, Eliza started to pull away, Tyler reluctantly dropped his arms from around her waist although the two remained only inches apart.

“Sorry,” Eliza mumbled, her eyes trained on his dress shoes as a sudden shyness overcame her.

“Don’t. Don’t apologize,” Tyler replied, his voice low and filled with seriousness.

Eliza sighed, turning back to the sink as she rinsed the two glasses before setting them back into the cupboard.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked quietly, her voice heavy with sincerity.

The pair made their way to the couch, falling into the old leather on opposite ends. Tyler took in the room around him; it was small and sparse of photos or mementos but still radiated warmth – much like the girl sat across from him. Leaning his head against the back of the couch, he let out a breath and began.

“I just, when I moved here from Boston I was determined not to be as lonely as I had been there. I mean, when I got drafted I was just a kid, you know? And they stuck me in this big high-rise apartment – the dream – but I was all alone. Didn’t know how to cook, barely knew how to do my own laundry, I was totally pathetic. Obviously, the guys were great, Marchy’s still one of my best friends, but they all had lives. Like they were all family guys or had a rocket of a girlfriend that they’d somehow found before they got drafted or who had stuck around for longer than a few months.”

Pausing, Tyler glanced back at Eliza whose eyes were fixed on him and never had he had anyone appear to listen so intently to the things he was saying outside of the press room. Shifting a few inches closer to him, she gave him a tight smile to encourage him to continue.

“Boston’s a huge sports city, right? So obviously the minute I started scoring goals people started recognizing me wherever I went. Which at first was totally awesome, I was this eighteen year old kid who could get served at any bar I wanted, had like twenty-five year old rockets slipping me their number on the street, it seemed like the life. Since all the other guys were busy with their families or whatever, I made other friends – guys I’d meet when I went out and eventually they became my friends. But the thing is, I was playing better than I ever had – hell we won the Stanley that year – but if I wasn’t out at a club I was alone at home save for the random girl who forced herself home with me.”

Eliza quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Okay fine, who I brought home with me.”

She smiled fully this time, inching ever closer once again.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that Boston was awesome for hockey but awful for me and I swore it was going to be different when I got to Dallas. Don’t get me wrong, Jamie is the best friend I’ve ever had but he’s basically married to Katie and I feel like I’m just right back to where I started. I know I’m not great at the whole adult thing, hell the longest relationship I’ve ever had is with my dogs but now that I can’t seem to score a fucking goal, it’s like I can’t even do hockey right.”

Eliza could feel her heart breaking in her chest, and in that moment she felt like she could see past all the bullshit and bluster that Tyler gave to everyone else. She still couldn’t explain why he deemed her the one he could talk to about all of this, but she immediately felt like she understood why he came off the way he did. Despite all of the fans and his posse of adoring women, at the end of the day all he had was himself and his dogs. And not to say dogs can’t keep the bed warm and aren’t great companions, but sometimes you just need a person. Hell, Eliza could probably understand that better than anyone – in all the months prior to leaving Boston, despite the millions of signs telling her that she needed to get out, she was terrified that she couldn’t make it on her own.

Closing the rest of the space between them, Eliza reached out and took Tyler’s hand in her own and gave him a squeeze. Meeting her eyes, two sad and broken souls finally felt seen.

Speaking softly, Eliza trained her eyes on their conjoined hands before continuing. “Tyler, you have to know you’re more than just a hockey player. There’s undoubtedly so many people who would love you just as much as they do now even if you never picked up a hockey stick.”

“Fewer than you’d think,” he muttered, his eyes still fixed on her delicate features.

Pausing before continuing, Eliza swallowed her nerves and figured her pride wasn’t worth the comfort that the man in front of her so clearly needed.

“I liked you before I ever knew you played hockey.”

Upon seeing the smile that started to creep across his face, she smiled before clarifying, “Annoying, yes. Way too cocky and very much in love with himself? Most definitely. But I didn’t not like you.”

Pulling her closer towards him by their conjoined hands, Eliza’s body was jolted from her position on the couch and fell on top of his hard chest. Weaving his large hand around the base of her skull, he intertwined his fingers in her hair as their foreheads fell together.

“You know something Lizzie? I don’t not like you either.”  

[holidaywishes]

Embers V

Chapter V: out of line

  Summary of series: Katie moves from Peachtree, Georgia, to L.A. with her son, Alex to start fresh after the death of her husband. When she meets Evan Buckley, a young firefighter, she falls fast but will her son be so quick to accept Evan into his life?

  Summary of chapter: After the dinner at the Firehouse, Katie is confused by the way Big Jeff is acting around her and tries to talk to him but it doesn’t go as planned.

  Warning: Angst, death, possible trigger warning for death of a child

  Author’s Note: Here we go y’all! The start of the angsty chapters. I love me some good angst but this, to me, is the bare bones of what I’ll typically consider angst. This is more just casual dramatics but I did want to have some kind of ‘Evan has a bad day and come to Katie for comfort’ element so this is what I came up with. I have something pretty big in mind for a few chapters down the line which I think you’ll enjoy but, until that comes, I hope you enjoy the ride! Cheers, xx! 😘

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Katie’s P.O.V

  You dialed Evan’s number into your phone, sighing before bringing the phone to your ear

  “Hey” he greeted

  “Hi,” you smiled to yourself, something about his voice could immediately calm you down, “I’m sorry about last night.”

  “Don’t be. A little drama never hurt anyone” he laughed

  “I don’t know about that. I’m gonna talk to Jeff today, and Nick, to find out what was going on...”

  “Okay,” he responded, uncertainty on his tongue, “do you need me there in case he tries something?”

  “No,” you smirked, “I think I’ll be fine. Plus, I’ll have Alex with me. He’s the best way to diffuse any situation.” Evan laughed before agreeing and signing off, while you got ready to head into the fire -- so to speak. As you and Alex drove to your young client’s house, you tried to come up with something to say so you didn’t get too emotional but when you pulled up in front of the house, your anger couldn’t be contained

  “NICK!” You shouted outside Nick’s door while banging your fists on the wood, “I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! ANSWER THE GOD DAMN DOOR NICKY!”

  “RELAX!” He yelled as he whipped open the door

  “Where is he?” You said, pushing Nick aside

  “Who? Big Jeff?” he answered, a confused look on his face, “he really didn’t mean anything by--”

  “Where. Is. He?” You urged and Nick obliged, directing you and Alex to the kitchen where his bodyguard was preparing a meal

  “Oh Katerina! Alex!” He said with a smile, welcoming you into the house, “It’s so good to see you!”

  “Save it, Jeff...” You hissed, “what the hell was that last night?”

  “What?” He asked, dumbfounded

  “Alex, sweetie,” you knelt down to meet your son’s eyes, “how about you go play video games with Nicky for a bit?” Just as you thought he would, Alex bounded over to the couch and you turned her attention back to ‘Big Jeff’

  “Everything okay?” he asked

  “Do you think I’m stupid? Or that I’d find the way you acted last night flattering?” you started, “because it wasn’t. It was embarrassing and completely out of line!”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, walking over to the fridge to put away the food he’d brought out earlier, “I was looking out for you and Alex. I’m always just looking out for the two of you.”

  “What was there for you to look out for?” you chided, “we were at dinner and my boyfriend offered to drive me and my son home. There’s nothing to worry about there..”

  “I think there is”

  “I think there’s not”

  “Well maybe that’s why you need someone like me.” Jeff said as he moved behind you slowly

  “What?” you asked, your breathing beginning to shallow

  “What would Jesse think?” he whispered, finally standing still behind you

  “Excuse me?” you started to turn but Jeff forced you to stay forward

  “Your husband died,” he snarled, “he didn’t leave. He died. You think he’d be okay with you moving on so fast?”

  “Watch it, Jeff” you tried, but it only seem to make him snicker

  “Someone needs to make sure you keep some kind of... virtue--” he circled around you and met your gaze-- “wouldn’t want to ruin the reputation you’ve worked so hard to create for yourself would you?”

  “You have no right to talk about my husband. You didn’t know him and my reputation is going to be just fine. I don’t need your help. We don’t need your help,” you scolded, beginning to storm out of the house, yelling to your son, “ALEX, come on baby, we’re gonna be late for school!” Your breathing was beginning to normalize but you could feel Jeff following you out of the house; he watched you as you helped Alex into the car and opened your car door before stepping in yourself, an almost sinister smile creeping across his face.

xx

  “So... what do you think his problem is?” Marie asked curiously, “think he’s obsessed with you?”

  “What? No!” you answered, “I don’t know what’s wrong with him but it was super weird and incredibly sketchy. I mean I’m sure it’s nothing...”

  “Yeah maybe..” she started, “but if you feel at all nervous, I would keep your distance. You and Alex”

  “I know but how am I supposed to do that? He’s on Nick’s payroll and I guess, technically, so am I..”

  “Just don’t be alone with him.” Her words sounded so final like they should be easy but something just didn’t sit right with you

  “Should I say something to Nick?” you asked

  “No,” Marie said bluntly, “I don’t think Nick would do anything other than say ‘it’s probably nothing’ and then go play some stupid video game.” You shrugged and moved on with your day.

  “Katie, let’s go!“ Your boss called out and you shot to her feet

  “Where are we going?” you asked

  “We’re going to get set up your two favourite clients on a date!” Raquel confidently walked past as her words mingled with the business of the office, “come quick before I take her off your hands!”

  “I never wanted her on my hands in the first place” you muttered to herself

  “KATIE!”

  “COMING!” You responded, running to meet your boss for a meeting you really didn’t want to have.

xx

  “I’m sorry,” Amber said, disdain dripped from her tongue as she spoke, “why do I have to fake a relationship with this... child?”

  “I’m not a child,” Nick replied, smiling as he continued, “and I can prove it to you.”

  “Ew” she scrunched her face before Raquel interrupted

  “Look, this is a great opportunity for both of you to branch out to different audiences,” she said, “get more fans..”

  “I don’t do PR relationships.” Amber stated, making you scoff and roll your eyes

  “You also don’t respect yourself” you added

  “Excuse you, yes I do.”

  “Not according to the millions of results whenever someone does a web search for Amber Reed” You chided

  “Who cares,” she scoffed, “that’s all fake anyway”

  “It doesn’t matter, Amber,” you tried, “your audience is made up of young, incredibly impressionable, girls and their parents are the ones who hold the purse strings.”

  “So..?”

  “Oh my go--” you sighed to her boss who immediately took over

  “So, you don’t make money if your image doesn’t improve”

  “I’m not a child and I want to be treated as the adult I am”

  “You have to know your lines and learn to stick within them.” You added and watched as Amber considered your words, pursing her lips before looking at Nick

  “So what does surfer boy have to do with this?” she asked and you noticed Raquel smile

  “Well,” you started, “Mom’s love Nick. No one really knows why, but it probably has something to do with his videos with his little brother who doesn’t live in L.A.--”

  “He lives in Minnesota with my Dad” Nick interjected and you shook her head, smiling at him

  “Mom’s can see Nick as being a good influence on their kids because he’s a good influence on his own brother. Add to that that his publicist is a mother,” you gestured to yourself, “and they’re immediately won over by him and his stupid charm.”

  “I have to play girlfriend to a Youtuber to fix my image?” she cringed

  “You really think I wanna do this sweetheart?” Nick countered, “No. I know your story. Spoiled little rich bitch who won a talent show and never had to work to get where she is. I’m only agreeing to this because I trust Katie and she seems to think this could be good for both of us.”

  “You don’t know a thing about me” Amber scowled at Nick

  “That’s why you get to know each other,” Raquel added, “you two don’t actually have to date each other. Just learn some things about each other -- enough to fool reporters and paparazzi and both of your audiences.” The two thought about it for a minute until reluctantly agreeing. You would be lying if you said you didn’t think it was going to be a total disaster but you were really hoping you were wrong.

xx

Evan’s P.O.V.

  “So you talked to him?” he asked Katie, who’s voice chimed from the other end of the call

  “I did. It was really weird, he was really weird. But it was probably nothing...”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Oh god, yeah,” she laughed, “I’m fine. I’ve got it handled.. for now anyway.”

  “I’m only a phone call away if you need me”

  “Good to know.” The siren rang through the firehouse and you had to say goodbye to Katie. He had no idea what the call would be about but he dove in, ready for anything. Though he couldn’t say he was ready for this.

  “Holy crap...” you whispered to yourself, staring at the scene in front of you. A bus had skidded off the road and was stuck between a branch and a road off the side of a cliff.

  “What do we got?” Bobby said as Hen gave the team a run through. Everyone else had gotten out of the bus fine, unscathed, except for one little boy who was too close to the front door -- too far for anyone to reach, “alright. Here’s what we’re gonna do. Eddie, Buck, you two are going to repel on either side of the bus. We have to move quickly because we don’t know how long that bus is going to stay where it is. But the two of you can’t make any sudden movements when you get there, we don’t want to risk that bus falling.” There was something about Bobby’s tone that made you realize that the likelihood of saving this boy was low but he did as instructed and made his way to the front of the bus where the boy was. When you saw the little boy, he called out and asked for the boy’s name

  “Kingston” he sobbed

  “Hi Kingston, my name is Evan and this is Eddie,” he gestured to Eddie on the other side of the bus, “we’re gonna get you outta here okay? But you have to be really still for us.”

  “Okay” he replied and you could see him wiping away his tears.

  “I don’t know how to get in there, Buck,” Eddie called, “if we try to open this door, the whole bus could shift and fall”

  “If we break a window, we won’t have room to get in there and bring him out safely,” you answered, “it’s not sturdy enough for us to shimmy through”

  “How’s it goin’ down there guys?” Chimney called

  “We’re thinking!” Eddie yelled up, concern lacing every word, “we need a harness!” You weren’t sure what Eddie was doing since the two of them agreed there was no way of getting into the bus without it shifting loose and falling

  “Eddie, what are you doing?” you asked as Eddie contemplated a way to get inside

  “If I can get in there and position myself in front of the window, and quickly grab him, maybe I can break the glass and repel out the front instead of to the side?”

  “And what if the bus falls forward?” you argued, “it’s too risky Eddie!”

  “I know! We can’t just leave him there. We need to do something!” Eddie was clearly stressed but he calmed himself down enough to talk to Kingston

  “Hey buddy, it’s Eddie, how are you doing?”

  “I wanna go home” Kingston answered shakily

  “I know, bud, and you will. Can you do something for me and Buck?” he asked and Kingston nodded, while you payed close attention, “can you move slowly, very very slowly toward this door?”

  “Eddie..” You started but Eddie held his hand out as if to say ‘give me a second.’ Kingston moved slowly but when the bus began to creak, he stopped

  “I can’t! I can’t!” he cried

  “Okay, that’s okay,” Eddie said, “you did so good, Little Man!” He dropped his head and tried to figure something out with you but the you could only stare at each other.

  “I think that we can only keep him calm..” Eddie sighed, “make sure he’s not alone.” You knew, on some level, that Eddie was right but you didn’t want to lose someone else; especially not a child.

  “What if we--“ You started to suggest something when a voice called out

  “Kingston!” the voice yelled, “Kingston baby! Where is my son?! WHERE’S MY SON!”

  “Mommy?” Kingston yelled

  “Ho-ho-hold on!” You and Eddie both yelled to the woman above them

  “Mommy?!” Kingston repeated

  “Kingston, no!” You shouted as he saw the little boy begin to move, “STOP!” Your words were met by panicked screaming as the bus shifted away from the branch it was trapped by and crashed to the bottom of the cliff. Leaving you and Eddie to drop their heads in defeat, a rush of sadness covering their faces.

  “Where’s my son?!” The two of you heard the mother call as they removed their harnesses and slumped back to the truck, “WHY COULDN’T YOU SAVE MY SON?!” She cried; both Eddie and you were silent as they left the scene and made no eye contact with the rest of the team.

xx

Katie’s P.O.V

  “THIS IS AWESOME!” Alex shouted as you and him set the bed with the new comforter set that he picked out for Evan

  “I think he’ll get a kick out of it” you laughed as you stared at the comforter, covered with Does and Bucks.

  “I think he’ll like it too!” he smiled

  “So you like Buck now?” you asked and Alex nodded emphatically.

  “He’s pretty cool.” You smiled before finishing making the bed. When the doorbell rang, Alex rushed to answer it

  “Slow down, bud” you laughed

  “Hey Buck!” Alex greeted him just as you came to stand behind your son

  “Hey Bud!” Evan replied before Alex dragged him into the bedroom to show him the comforter, “WHOA! Look at that!” Evan said

  “They’re Bucks, and you’re Buck!” Alex shouted and you laughed, paying close attention to Evan’s face

  “I love it, buddy.” He was sincere in how he said it, and when he picked Alex up to give him a hug, you noticed Evan’s eyes welling up with tears

  “Hey Liebling,” you said to Alex, “how about you go watch T.V. for a little while okay?” Evan put him down, and you giggled as he skipped out of the room and down the hall to watch his favourite shows, “the set isn’t that bad is it? He saw it and immediately thought of you, so we bought it. But it can just st--”

  “No no,” Evan smiled, rubbing your arms, “I love it.”

  “What’s going on?” you whispered, bringing him to sit on the bed with you. As soon as you asked, he fell apart in front of you, his head falling onto your lap and you brushed his hair to soothe him

  “Can I just.. be here like this?” he asked, tears falling on your lap

  “Of course you can” you replied, continuing to brush his hair, not knowing if he would tell you what had happened when he sat back up and began walking out to where Alex was; you followed closely behind, furrowing your brows when Evan stopped at the end of the hall and leaned against the wall. You let him know that you were there by rubbing his back gently, feeling him release a deep sigh

  “He’s so happy,” Evan said as he watched Alex play with his Lego in front of the T.V. with a very colourful show playing across it, “such a happy kid. Exactly how he should be...”

  “Yeah, he is..” you smiled but turned him to face you, “talk to me, Evan. I’ve never seen you like this and I’m starting to worry.”

  “We lost someone today,” he answered, “a kid.” He fell back against the wall and you moved closer to him, closing the gap to comfort him

  “Evan I’m so sorry”

  “His name was Kingston and he was just so young. It all happened so quickly. I can’t imagine how scared he was or what his parents are going through. I’ve only lost one other person on the job and it did a number on me...” You weren’t sure what to say, so you rubbed his shoulder and let him talk about it as much as he needed to, as much as he wanted to, “I don’t mean to dump all of this on you, I didn’t think I would talk about it this much--”

  “You can always talk to me,” you added, “about work, good or bad. About anything. I’m always here for you Evan...”

  “I know,” he smiled, taking your hand in his, “as weird as it sounds, I just wanted to see his smile. I wanted to just be around him, and you of course.”

  “I understand.” You smiled and he made his way over to the couch to sit by Alex. You watched as the two of them built an imaginary world of Lego’s, smiling at each other, laughing and letting the day wash away from them; you could tell it was exactly what Evan needed. He looked back to find you and smiled when he caught your eye, you returned the gesture before walking over to the couch to join them.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, June 1

Cover: Jennifer Aniston Finally Talks -- her fresh start at 51 

Page 1: Big Pic -- Shia LaBeouf took a spin around his Pasadena neighborhood with his adorable pooch in tow 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 3: Contents 

Page 4: Royal Shake-Up -- a shocking report leads to whispers that Queen Elizabeth may soon be stepping away from her duties for good -- thankfully the Queen has Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton to lean on and they call her every day and are always offering to step in and take any stressful duties off her hands and the queen doesn’t know what she’d do without them 

Page 6: From the outside Reese Witherspoon seems to have a picture-perfect life but the multifaceted star admits her days are a balancing act and anything but easy 

Page 7: It seems as if Kristin Cavallari has been on a smear campaign against estranged husband Jay Cutler as their messy divorce plays out -- she’s consumed by rage and resentment toward him mainly out of fear that he’ll come across as looking like the good guy while she’s painted as power- and money-hungry, after years of estrangement the coronavirus pandemic has pushed Bella Cruise to reach out to mom Nicole Kidman -- Nicole knows Bella will never leave Scientology and she’d never ask her to and they’ve been making up for lost time and speak most days and Bella’s agreed to travel to Tennessee and stay at Nicole’s sprawling country estate once it’s safe to travel, Scott Disick is turning to Kris Jenner as he figures out his next move after he fled rehab after the news leaked -- Scott feels more vulnerable than ever and he’s at a crucial stage in his life and he respects Kris enormously not only as a business partner but as a makeshift therapist and mother figure 

Page 8: Jamie Lynn Spears is begging older sis Britney Spears to move back to Louisiana and Jamie Lynn would love for her daughters to spend more time with their aunt and wants them together as one big happy family in Kentwood where it all began, Chris Pratt and pregnant Katherine Schwarzenegger are feeling a bit overwhelmed by her parents as they await their baby’s arrival -- Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger are excited at their first grandchild but they’ve become very pushy -- Maria’s insisting on planning a huge baby shower and decorating the nursery and Arnold is trying to install a new sound system so they can play lullabies in every corner of the house and it’s enough to make Chris and Katherine wince, Tom Cruise is making it his mission to reclaim his title as the King of Hollywood -- he’s bided his time for years now because he wanted to take the pressure of himself until he found just the right moment to go for it and now he’s ready to catapult himself onto the scene with Mission: Impossible 7 and 8 and the sequel to Top Gun and he’s working with NASA and Elon Musk’s SpaceX to shoot the first ever movie in outer space 

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- peach gowns -- Zoe Kravitz, Karolina Kurkova, Adrienne Houghton 

Page 11: Betty Gilpin, Lizzy Caplan, Joey King 

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Becca Tilley vs. Brooke Burke (it’s a tie), Cheryl Burke vs. Jennifer Lahmers

Page 14: News in Photos -- Hailey Bieber in the sauna 

Page 15: Michael C. Hall in glitter face paint, Kate Upton works out with daughter Genevieve, Olivia Munn with two pups, Christie Brinkley in the fickle weather in the Hamptons 

Page 16: Hilary Duff on Mother’s Day, Anna Kendrick all dressed up for a virtual press conference, Kevin Hart and wife Eniko revealed they are having a daughter in a pic with kids Kenzo and Heaven and Hendrix, Naomi Watts on TikTok with Liev Schreiber and their kids Sasha and Kai 

Page 17: Mindy Kaling doing laundry, Cardi B shows off her Mother’s Day gifts from husband Offset 

Page 18: Reese Witherspoon with son Tennessee climbing a tree, Nicole Kidman studying Italian while stuck at home, Gabrielle Union and daughter Kaavia 

Page 19: Jason Momoa encouraged fans to support local small businesses as he picked up dinner from the Old Place in Cornell, Paris Jackson inked a tattoo on her own pinky toe, Suki Waterhouse showed off her perfectly coiffed locks 

Page 20: Tobey Maguire and girlfriend Tatiana Dieteman take a stroll, Ariel Winter was spotted with a cast on her thumb after slicing the tip off in a cooking accident, Emilia Clarke and dog Ted

Page 21: Ryan Phillippe on a run, Katy Perry and her dog Nugget dress up as Dumbo

Page 22: Brody Jenner on a bike ride, Tallulah Willis and mom Demi Moore on Mother’s Day, Julianne Hough as Mary Poppins 

Page 23: Taylor Swift drinking white wine while isolating at home, Ali Larter on a run 

Page 24: Inside My Home -- the Hadid’s flourishing farm -- where Yolanda Hadid is isolating with kids Bella Hadid, pregnant Gigi Hadid and Anwar Hadid in Hope, Pennsylvania 

Page 26: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West marriage in crisis -- after months in quarantine Kim and Kanye are on the verge of a lockdown throwdown because when it comes to their four kids North and Saint and Chicago and Psalm most of the parenting and homeschooling has fallen on Kim’s shoulders while Kanye has been spending a ton of time at his office rather than at home 

Page 27: Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied are planning to renew their vows this winter when December will mark a decade since their engagement, when Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson called it quits after two years of dating it seemed drama-free but now members of their social circle are being dragged into the pair’s personal problems -- now that they’re not together they’re drawing clear boundaries and demanding their friends like Kaia Gerber and Margaret Qualley take sides using the line it’s her or me, Courteney Cox has been quarantining in L.A. while boyfriend Johnny McDaid has been in England and once they’re able to reunite Courteney is adamant that they tie the knot right away because this has been a lesson learned and she’s kicking herself for not marrying Johnny sooner

Page 28: Joshua Jackson and wife Jodie Turner-Smith are walking on air as they settle into their new roles as parents to a baby girl, just eight months into their romance Jonathan Scott believes he’s found the one in Zooey Deschanel but his friends are urging him to pump the brakes because Zooey is twice-divorced and basically walked out of her second marriage and right into Jonathan’s life plus she also has two children so Jonathan would be taking on an awful lot so soon, Love Bites -- Ben Platt and Noah Galvin new couple, America Ferrera and Ryan Piers Williams welcomed a daughter, Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy split 

Page 29: On Justin and Hailey Bieber’s Facebook Watch show he stated that he and wife Hailey are in the best place they’ve ever been but he’s the first to admit that becoming a husband forced him to take a hard look at himself, Ben Affleck is sparing no expense when it comes to showering girlfriend Ana de Armas with affection

Page 30: Cover Story -- Jennifer Aniston comes clean -- from the state of her dating life to the truth about her famous exes Jen plans to answer everything in a new tell-all interview 

Page 33: How Jennifer Aniston is helping Matthew Perry get through his recent troubles 

Page 34: Baby Bump Brigade -- Ashlee Simpson, Katy Perry 

Page 35: Gigi Hadid, Katherine Schwarzenegger, Lea Michele 

Page 36: How Julia Roberts saved her marriage -- inside her decision to step away from the spotlight and fix her relationship with Danny Moder 

Page 38: Beverly Hills 90210 secrets and scandals 

Page 40: Candace Cameron Bure Family Matters -- the actress gets candid about her kids, her marriage and her decades long career 

Page 46: Style Week -- Bebe Rexha latest collaboration with the popular drugstore nail polish line Sinful Colors 

Page 48: Style -- beaded bags -- Bailee Madison 

Page 50: Espadrilles -- Selena Gomez 

Page 54: Entertainment 

Page 58: Stars are getting creative with their hair while stuck at home -- Julianne Hough, Pink, Kristen Stewart 

Page 59: Blake Shelton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tallulah Willis, Lauren Burnham and Arie Luyendyk, Armie Hammer, Dua Lipa 

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Miley Cyrus on interviewing Elizabeth Warren, Ashton Kutcher on Mila Kunis, Laura Dern on trying new things, Anna Kendrick on switching up her exercise routine, John Mellencamp texting daughter Teddi Mellencamp while watching her on RHOBH 

Page 61: Hollywood Heat Meter -- Hilary Duff is set to reprise her Younger character in a spinoff, Lily Allen and David Harbour engaged, Alison Roman apologized to Chrissy Teigen, Hannah Brown should have listened to her gut about Jed Wyatt, Vera Wang shows off her killer abs, the bombshells Vanderpump Rules editor Bri Dellinger just unleashed about the reality show 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Gemini Lenny Kravitz 

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Trevor Noah