#a little sad. a little feral. a lot sexy

[finalgirlkateausten]

@firefighterbracket I'm having a bisexual crisis over shay vs severide rn I hope you know what you've done

[usedtobecooler]

dad!steve having the feral urge to breed you immediately after you give birth to your first son )):

let it be known that steve harrington had never been quiet about his urge to have lots of kids and a big family. he’d known since he was a young teenager that was what he wanted — a family of his own, little harringtons running around the yard and causing a ruckus whilst he barbecued and his trophy wife laid on her sun lounger, getting a tan in her pretty bikini. that was all he ever wanted in life, all he could ever remember wanting.

and then he met you. he knew from the get go that you were the one. he wanted to see you with a big pregnant belly, parade you around town and show you off like you were the hottest piece of ass in town (you were, to him). let everybody know he was the one who knocked you up, was the cause of your shapely body, child-baring hips, fatter ass.

you got pregnant not even a month after getting married, because of course you did. steve was insatiable, fucked you at any given opportunity on your fertile days — went as far as showing up to your office and pounding you in the toilet cubicle on your lunch break. you might’ve known you’d both be ridiculously fertile, twenty-somethings fucking like rabbits tended to end up in this situation quickly.

the day he noticed the pudge of your belly looks different, rounded and a little harder than usual, he fucked you so hard you saw stars. whispered sweet nothings in your ear about how sexy you looked, how much your belly turned him on.

the bigger you got, the less he could keep his hands off of you. and you can’t say you complained, the pregnancy hormones drove you just as wild, had your pussy aching and sopping wet for him all the time. steve took advantage of it, of course he did, he would’ve been a fool not to. he’d never been so horny in his life, so desperate for a fuck.

you give birth to a boy. he’s the most precious little guy, has the thickest head of curly hair and his dads pretty brown eyes. you’re both besotted, in love, and you’d never seen steve take to a job as well as he took to being a dad. you knew then he that it was clearly what he was destined to do, and you’d do anything to keep him this happy.

you both love being parents. but the no sex is hard, especially with your whirlwind of hormones, and the fact steve hadn’t gone longer than a day without stuffing your pussy for the last year. you yearned for each other, but headed the warnings your midwife had given you — six weeks minimum, no goddamn exceptions.

he pounces on you the second you get through the door from your six week postpartum appointment, all he needs is your subtle nod of the head and he’s backing you up against the wall — hitches your leg over his hip and grinds into you through the thin material of your panties, sundress slipping up to expose you to him.

he kisses you like a man starved, six weeks of not fucking you felt like a lifetime, and all he wants is to shove his cock in you and fill you with his seed. get you all nice and pregnant with another harrington sprog — and he knows how fertile you are at this stage, knows just one slip up will have you knocked up again and it makes his cock ache.

you’re just as eager for it, of course you are. the sad, stressful healing stage was over three weeks ago and the hormones swirling through your body were showing themselves as sexual frustration. you paw at steve’s loose basketball shorts, tug him closer until you’re slipping the material down his toned thighs, dragging his boxers with them to pool at his feet.

he doesn’t waste time after that, pulling the damp material of your panties to the side and exposing your soaked cunt to the air. you gasp against his lips; feel the thick head of his cock slide in between your folds, running over your clit just barely before he moves back down, pushing the tip into your hole with minimum resistance.

you’re lifted onto your tiptoes with the sheer force of steve slipping his cock into your sweet, wet pussy. he buries his face into your neck and let’s out the prettiest gasp once he’s fully sheathed, stilling for just a moment to make sure you’re okay and nothing hurts.

it’s endearing in an otherwise feral, highly charged situation. you whine a little, hand reaching to card through his messy hair, in hopes it’ll get him to just move. you feel so full, his cock stretching you in this achingly delicious way, and your walls spasm around his length, causing him to grip your thigh just a bit harder.

“fuck, baby. never felt you this wet before, shit,” steve talks like he’s struggling to catch his breath, rocks into you and let’s put a stifled groan, like he’s trying to stop himself from coming on the spot. you feel his cock pulse inside of you, more or less confirming your thoughts.

“need you to move, steve,” you gasp, begging quietly for him to just fuck you. he cranes his neck from his place in your own, looking at you with lust blown eyes, puffy red lips spit-slick, “c’mon, babe. show me what i’ve been missing.”

steve grunts at your words, lifts you up from the ground completely with his strong arms, tapping your thigh twice to get you to wrap your legs around him. you do so willingly, whining as the angle makes him slip just that little bit deeper into your pussy, knocking your cervix. you don’t think you’d ever get used to the sheer size of him, how you were able to feel every ridge and vein. he was right, though, — you were wetter than usual.

he plants his hands firmly under the curve of your ass, helping lift you off of his cock, then guiding you to sink back down. you can’t help yourself, back arching off the wall as you mewl, a shuddery moan puffing from your lips.

“you’re so tight, baby, goddamn,” steve grunts, eyes rolling a little as your cunt engulfs him in wet hot heat, the two of you picking up a rhythm with you bouncing and him fucking up into you, “fuck, you feel so good. missed this, missed your little pussy.”

you choke out a sob at his words, hand tightening in his hair as you lean forward to kiss him — it’s half hearted, you’re just panting into his mouth, mostly. his cock is so deep you feel him in your guts, know he’s going to shoot his load so deep there’s no way you’re getting out of here without getting knocked up.

steve pants against your mouth, not taking his eyes off or you as he pounds into you, keeping you lifted up like it’s fucking nothing, “gonna knock you up again, would you like that, baby? want your belly all full for me again, need it.”

you nod your head fervently, crying out as you sink down and the angle changes slightly, has the curve of steve’s cock brushing your spongey spot perfectly, “please, please. fill me up with your babies. want everyone to — shit, right there! — know your f-fat cock did it.”

steve glances down, catches the sight your tits by accident. all hard and leaking, making a mess of your pretty little dress. he can’t have that, have you sore and aching, that wouldn’t make him a very good husband now, would it?

he drags you over to the sofa without pulling out, sits down gently until you’re back to being fully seated on his cock, and almost in a complete juxtaposition, rips down your dress to expose your tits to the warm air. you hiss, nipples pulled tight and leaking liquid gold. you hadn’t even noticed, too wrapped up in the feeling of being split apart.

“babe, you have no idea how much i’ve wanted to do this,” steve sighs, leaning down to latch onto one of your nipples, causing you to let out a startled little yelp that quickly turns into a moan. it’s fucked up — you’re both fucked up, getting off on him suckling at your tit like he’s starving, lapping at your milk like he’d die without it.

you bury your hands back into his hair, tugging him impossibly closer as you slide your hips back and forth, gaining purchase on your clit, enough to have your tummy tightening and core aching, “oh my god,” you cry, tears pricking your eyes at the relief you feel all at once — from your sore tits, your desperate cunt, every little bit of you relaxing at once.

steve looks up at you with innocent eyes, dragging his mouth from your left tit with a small thumb over your nipple, putting his attention on the other one and suckling on it instead. you’re dripping wet with milk, leaking down your belly and soaking your dress through. you can’t find it in you to care when steve’s looking after you like this, gently bucking up into you from below.

“c’mon, steve, finish the job,” you sigh eventually, pawing at the back of his head and tugging the tresses between your splayed out fingers, “cum in me, wanna feel you dripping out of me later, hmm?”

steve takes that as his cue, unlatches from your sore nipple, grabs hold of your hips extra tight and begins fucking you like he means it — hard, fast, enough to have you doing no work as he throws you around like a damn rag doll. your nails claw at his shoulders, the sound of wet skin slapping and your sopping wet cunt engulfing your senses, having you crying out.

“that’s it, baby,” steve grunts, sliding a hand over the front of your pussy and planting his thumb on your clit, circling it quickly, the sensation enough to make you almost scream, “gonna cum all over my big cock, yeah? milk me with your tight, wet pussy?”

you nod your head, crying out as the warmth begins to pool in your belly, the ruddy tip of steve’s cock brushing your g-spot rhythmically, mixing with the feeling of his calloused thumb running over your clit sending you hurtling to the edge quickly, “i’m cumming steve, fuck, fuck—!”

your pussy clenches sporadically as you come, grinding down against steve’s pubic bone as you ride it out, fingernails digging into his shoulders so hard he hisses, slaps your ass in retaliation. you swear you’ve never came so hard in your fucking life, whole body tensing and going lax just as fast.

“that’s it, honey. cum all over me, shit, you’re so fucking wet,” steve’s losing composure, fucking up into you sporadically, going crazy over the sounds and feeling of your wet cunt dripping all down his shaft, wetting him right down to his balls, making a mess of your expensive sofa, “gonna fill you full of my jizz, get you all pregnant, can’t wait to see you with a belly again — fuck, m’gonna cum,”

you’re moaning uncontrollably, body basically limp under steve’s touch as he fucks you with purpose, chasing his own release. you squeeze around him again, milking his cock and that does it — his hips stuttering, grabbing hold of you to force you down onto his shaft deep as he comes, head thumping back onto the sofa cushions, eyes rolling in his head.

you can’t say you’re surprised when your period doesn’t arrive on time. you’re even less surprised to see the plus sign on the blue test five minutes later.

[cherubdollyy]

NSFW ABC - Bubba Sawyer

18+ MDNI

author's notes: reader's gender isn't specified but there is a quick reference to breasts and language eluding to specific genitals etc but I tried to cover all bases (so you can pick and choose what suits you.). Voyeurism is mentioned and light bdsm. One very minor mention of animal death but I promise it's not sad!!

Bubba is my sweet baby boy and I love him so much so I hope you guys enjoy!!! <3

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex) - super clingy and cuddly. You're not going anywhere while bubba is in his afterglow. He feels possessive of you but he also wants you to feel so loved after doing the deed.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's) - he's a little self concious and it took him a LONG time before he could even think about taking his mask off in front of you. But with all the praise and love you show him he's learnt to love himself especially his squishiness because that's what he loves about you. He loves how soft and kind and innocent you are and the gentle touches you give him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) - Seeing you on your knees with his cum dripping out of your mouth makes him go wild. A lot of the times he cums quickly because he's an excitable boy and everything is pretty new to him. You're both often a mess by the end of it, cum dripping out of you, him smeared with your juices but he'll always clean you up. It doesn't matter how tired you both are, he'll take a cool wet cloth and wipe you up so gently taking his time to get every inch. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) - Bubba is a bit of a perv. He doesn't want to admit it, mainly because he hasn't had a lot of time to express himself sexually so he doesn't know how to communicate what he wants. He often watches you change. He'll try and peek through the door to watch you undress but he's not very quiet about it. He also masturbates a lot when you've gone to town to get supplies. When he's in his workshop he'll unzip his pants and pump himself while thinking about you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?) - our boy doesn't have a lot of experience but he's eager to learn. He tends to become a bit animalistic as he just responds to his body's needs when he sees you naked and playing with yourself. But with time he's able to get to know what he loves.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) - He loves when you're on top. He loves looking up at you and being able to grab your tummy and/or breasts. He's able to guide your hips and play with your nipples but he also loves it when you take the pace and tease him by slowing down.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) - He doesn't tend to have the time to goof around. Once one of you is in the mood he's got his pants down and is raring to go (which unintentionally makes you laugh). But you can both have a giggle at yourselves.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) - He's a beast. He has thick dark hair all over his arms and chest and his pubic hair is no different. He keeps himself nice and clean in the texas heat by taking a cool bath every night but he's pretty simple as just a soap and wash cloth kinda guy. No need for trimming or waxing here.

 I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) - He can be a little feral at first but he is a really sappy guy. He loves kissing you deeply and watching you sleep afterwards. He'll stroke your hair and hold you close and he'll be super clingy the next day, hugging you from behind and picking you flowers from the garden.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) - He loves to masturbate but he feels a little guilty about it afterwards. You tell him it's completely natural and most people do it, encouraging him if it makes him feel good. You take a few sexy snaps of yourself for him to have fun with when he's by himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) - He's a bit voyeuristic, watching over you in the garden as you bend over to tend to the plants, he can't help but feel his trousers becoming tighter. He also loves fucking you on the kitchen table when everyone else is out, the risk of not knowing when they'll be back. Other than that he doesn't really know much about kinks and is still exploring what he enjoys. Anything that you want to do though, he's eager to try out.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) - It used to be that you wouldn't bother bubba in his workshop but one day you couldn't help yourself, you just missed him and wanted to keep him company. It's become a bit of a habit to do it in his workshop now especially when the house is full. There's a bit of risk that they'll hear but not enough that they'll come in. Sometimes when you have to go to town you'll take Bubba in the truck with you and stop off on the side of the road. He won't fully relax, eyes darting convinced someone will see and the risk will make him explode. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) - Honestly he'll watch you with so much love in his eyes from you doing the dishes to tending the garden, he's normally very sappy. But sometimes the breeze will blow your skirt up just right or you'll be reaching up to put groceries away and your t-shirt will ride up. Something small like that can flood him with dirty thoughts of what he wants to do to you which often leads you to being grabbed and kissed by complete surprise. 

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn-offs) - He would have a lot of trouble hurting you. Even if you explained to him that it felt nice he wouldn't feel comfortable slapping or whipping you so BDSM isn't really something he'd enjoy but he would like tying you up. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) - He doesn't have a preference he loves both! He LOVES eating you out/sucking you dry, he's surprisingly a natural at it. His frantic tongue movements never fail to make your toes curl.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) - He starts off a little manic and fast because he's so excited and as he gets closer to cumming his thrusts become more erratic and sloppy so you can always tell when he's close.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) - Bubba loves quickies! Often that's what you'll have to do as the house is always full of people and you get chastised by Drayton for being dirty.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) - He likes the thrill of perhaps getting caught but it would never be too much of a risk. He couldn't have anyone seeing him from outside the family or without his mask on as that's too stressful for him. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) - Tbh he cums fairly quickly and doesn't have a lot of stamina due to the intense texas heat but after you've both cooled down a little and perhaps even dozed off you'll feel his hard member pressing into your back, eager for another round.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) - Any toys are introduced by you (he doesn't exactly have an easy way of getting them) and he's open to playing with them. The first time you used a vibrating cock ring on him he was out of it for a week. One thing he does have easy access to is chains, electrical tape, and ropes so if you express an interest in being tied up he's happy to comply!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) - He didn't have an interest at first and would find it quite infuriating when you would edge and tease him but he soon appreciated how good the end result felt. He wondered if he could pull it off on you and one day when giving you oral you begged and begged if you could cum and that's when he stopped. Hearing your whining and the need in your voice you had for him made him feel powerful and you had a looong night ahead of you that night.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Very loud, lots of incomprehensible gibberish and whimpering. When you're having sex, everyone is gonna know about no matter how hard he tries to keep quiet.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) - He's very good with animals. One of the chickens died and even though he thinks she'll make a nice lamp he can't leave those little chicks alone. You find him keeping them warm and making sure they have food and water. When he goes out into the garden they come running and you often find him out there with all the young chickens in his lap. (If I could draw this OMG I WOULD)

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes) - He's a big boy with a chunky soft body. He's covered in dark hair, his arms are big and he's very strong. He's about 4-5 inches and VERY thick, uncircumsised with a bush of curly dark hair.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) - Very high let's be honest. Sometimes it's too hot and you're not in the mood so he'll run into his workshop to take care of himself. A victim once left a polaroid camera and you took a few sexy shots of yourself for him to keep in there.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward) - Very quickly, often with you held close in his arms. 

[medievalandfantasymelee]

THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

QUALIFYING ROUND: 107th Tilt

Giuliano de Medici, Medici (2016-2019) VS. Jack, Legend (1985)

Propaganda

Giuliano de Medici, Medici (2016-2019) Portrayed by: Bradley James

“GIULIANO, MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED. There's no one who can do slutty tarty fuckboy with a heart of gold and a side of whumpy pain quite like him. You start off the series and you see him the first time and you go "oh damn he's GORGEOUS... but he's a fuckboy, gonna love to hate him, great! I hope he's shirtless a lot!" (He is.) And then you see him the second time and you go "oh no he loves his family! He adores his sister!! He would do anything for his brother!! He's a sweet mama boy!!!" And then you see him a third time and you go "oh wow he hurts so prettily", and then as the series goes on you wish you'd never thought that, because yes, he DOES hurt so prettily. Multiple times. And at that point he activates all the PROTECC instincts but it's too late. And you end this series with your heart broken by him and you just want to go back to the start to see him smile his tarty smug smile that makes you want to punch him in the mouth. With your mouth. Because god he's so fucking PRETTY.”

Jack, Legend (1985) Portrayed by: Tom Cruise

“It's the sexy little feral twink version of Tom Cruise, what more can I say?”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For Giuliano:

“He's unbearably cocky and hot ... but also sad and tragic”

Gifsets:

For Jack:

Gifsets:

[wetcatspellcaster]

I saw you respond that you a very much not an SJM fan 😅 fair enough but I did want to ask what books/series you did like or would recommend that are of a fantasy/romantasy vibe!

lmfao, i am destined to become known for my parasocial enmity with the wingspan lady on this hellsite.

I don't read stuff with the same vibe as SJM all that often anymore. I used to read a lot of paranormal romance but the heteronormativity of SJM clones was upsetting me, so I've turned more towards the romance genre or just straight up fanfic these days.

So these recommendations might not be the perfect overlap but-!

Books with Fey Romances that are good

Holly Black, for all your fey needs. Tithe is the OG (and if you like sad men with white hair, have I got a blorbo for you!) but The Cruel Prince is her most popular series, that most people have read. The Darkest Part of the Forest is also an amazing standalone novel with a bit more creepiness than the other two. Not very explicit sex.

Olivia Atwater's Half A Soul and Ten Thousand Stitches are regency romance novels with fey associations, the first book is about a girl under a fairy curse and the second is about a fairy himbo trying his best at being a fairy godmother. No sex, that I can remember.

Heather Fawcett's Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Fairies. I've talked about this book a lot. If you like my fanfic, you will like this book, because this book was written for Me specifically. Not very explicit sex.

The Falconer series by Elizabeth May. This is the closest in this list to what SJM writes, only this is. um. better. Much sex, but also just... 'what if we started an apocalypse together, and the guilt meant I was scared to touch you, but we've got nothing else to live for now so why shouldn't I just do it?'

Fantasy Books with Good Romance

T Kingfisher's Swordheart and Nettle & Bone - both standalone novels. Swordheart is just Howl x Sophie dynamics, if Howl was a martial class, and also. A sword. Some sexiness.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (if we count the love interests as both the hot sexy wizard man AND the protagonist's gal pal). Some sexiness.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. If you like your immortal/mortal romances, this is a pretty stellar read tbh. Some sexiness.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan. This is such a fun book just generally but the slowburn of a 7 year high school romance sent me a little feral actually. Some sexiness.

Daevabad trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. Now, this one is a little bit evil bc its an epic fantasy trilogy that is quite dense, and the romance is amazing but it takes a WHILE. *I* can write an evil slowburn, but there is nothing more evil than what happened in these books bc everyone is so fucking repressed. Alternatively, The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by the same author, which cut to the chase a lot quicker, romance-wise.

Fantasy Books that are 😌😌 sexy 😌😌

The Dark Days Club by Alison Goodman. This is my favourite paranormal romance I've read in recent years, and they don't even have sex but I'm putting it here because um. they did. to me. That's what happens when you write a regency romance where if a woman takes of a man's coat they have 37 horny thoughts about it in real time. Imagine if Darcy and Elizabeth for P&P were also fighting demons at the same time as falling in love (not metaphorically. literal demons.)

Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert. Talia Hibbert's books in general fucking slap but I wish she'd written more paranormal romance than just this ONE story bc um. This was. um. Good.✌️

A Marvellous Light and A Restless Truth by Freya Marske. Freya Marske is also a popular fanfic author, and it shows with the way she writes sex.

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming. This author is the one who went briefly viral bc she accidentally has a book cover with Astarion on it lmao. This book was the first in that series, and unfortunately it wasn't for me (dragon shifter porn, I did *not* know going in) but the sex was really, really well-written, if that's something you could be into.

[brekwrites]

Howdy Brek!! I hope you're doing well! I love your writing, especially where Sun and Solar are the protagonists, you write their relationship in such a beautiful, sexy and tender way.I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, but there's a scenario between the two of them that's been on my mind since the last chapter of "What if". And since I don't like the anguish of pure pain without comfort because my heart and soul are weak, I couldn't help but think of a scenario where even though Solar revives with bloodlust, that doesn't necessarily mean there has to be a sad ending, because it would be a Solar who at times becomes a feral vampire and that idea besides being terrifying can also be VERY SEXY if it turns into something romantic.Imagine Sun helping to control the ""thirst"" of him boyfriend Solar (it doesn't have to be just bloodlust, it could be hunger for star power too, perhaps... and other instincts and primitive needs heheh) until New Moon finds a way to "cure" him. But Sun would definitely be safe because he's the vampire Solar's partner.I personally would love to throw New Moon into that mix but I understand that some people don't like the concept of polyamory where siblings share a boyfriend.Anyway, this is by no means an order, just an idea I thought someone who enjoys Sun and Solar's sexy and romantic content might like.You don't have to reply to this message if you don't want to ok! Take care and again, I love your stories!

Hi!! I have actually been turning this idea over in my brain since the recent episode. I agree with you. Maybe the combination of bloodlust, but it’s still physically Solar, who doesn’t need blood to survive, but still needs to sate those urges? And blood itself isn’t doing anything for him, and he’s so hungry even though he’s eaten, and he ends up biting and feeding on Sun or New Moon. I honestly like both ideas, but as divergent possibilities.

I could see a Solar that was already in a relationship with Sun being brought back, Sun trying to comfort him and being so close and he’s so hungry. Sun realizing what he wants and offering himself up, and we get that nice topping from the bottom vibe I enjoy with them. Solar’s physically dominant, he’s feeding on him, but he’s being so, so careful, and Sun is the one that’s in control, because he has what Solar needs, and in the beginning he’s having to reassure Solar that it’s okay for him to have this, he’s willing to give it to him, he wants to give it to him. Yeah, that shit slaps.

I could also see a Solar that was crushing on Moon before he died being completely embarrassed that the object of his affections is seeing this side of him. Moon is trying his best to help provide for him, but it’s not working, and one day he gets too close at the wrong moment and Solar’s instincts kick in and he can’t help it. He bites him. And Moon makes this noise that’s… hmm. Queue lots of flustered apologies and both of them retreating to think about wtf they just learned about themselves. Eventually Solar goes to apologize and Moon just blurts out that he didn’t mind it, actually, and he really likes Solar, actually, and he wouldn’t mind a repeat performance.

I’ll add both to my possible fic list, and maybe you’ll see them in the future. My idea list is LONG tho, so it might be a bit! Could make a nice halloween special lmfao.

Thanks for yapping with me, this was fun! If anyone else wants to send me fun ideas to theorize about and get a quick little blurb like this one ^ and MAYBE (no guarantees) a future fic if the inspiration strikes, feel free!

[smilesrobotlover]

List of things you like about Linebeck? rat man <3

Oh man where do I begin.

- I have a soft spot for AH with hearts of gold, guys who are cruel in the beginning and then develop and actually are very sweet, they just had a tough upbringing. I don’t have many thoughts on Linebeck’s backstory, but he is a good person deep down, he’s just annoying <3

- his design is everything to me. Like, he looks so weird and goofy but so sexy at the same time??? Like how??? Also I love Jack sparrow and he def has a more well kept Jack sparrow vibes.

- I’m a HUGE sucker for father figures. Idc what people say Linebeck is a DAD against his will and I will not take any opposing opinion.

- his theme SLAPS SO HARD it’s amazing. It’s one of the few good songs ph has.

- I just love his relationship with Link, the nicknames he gives him, the way he talks to him, the way he carry’s Link as if he weighs five pounds. It’s CUTE. It’s not wholesome but it’s FUN

- there IS a wholesome moment in the game and that’s where Linebeck acts more serious and asks Ciela to look after Link. He cares so much for the kid and really doesn’t want him to get hurt I’m so HH

- the potential for a complex character with him is so fun. I feel like he really struggles with his self worth, he’s one of those people that act all high and mighty but he secretly loathes himself. I feel like the manga really points this out, when he’s possessed by Bellum and he’s about to kill himself, he tells Link to not be a worthless man like him. He thinks he’s worthless and doesn’t feel like he belongs. In the manga he doesn’t like being called a hero because he abandoned his crew. He has a lot of issues that he keeps hidden and I LOVE HIM.

- this man is so pathetic oh my gosh I want to marry him.

- I feel like he longs for adventure and longs to be a big named hero, but he really can’t cuz he’s not built like that. So the adventure with Link gives him a taste of that and he loves it, even if it’s scary he loves it so much.

- the music at the end of the final boss with bellumbeck, I go FERAL. The song dark waters beginning with violins playing a dark tune, then it goes into his theme showing that he’s fighting back, but then his theme starts to get more desperate since he’s losing the battle with Bellum, and then finally he loses. And then the final boss song is SOOOO GOOOD GUYS like the beginning is a dramatic version of the phantom chase, it has trumpets that sounds like Bellum’s battle theme, and then Linebeck’s theme that sounds more sad it KILLS ME OUGH I LOVE THAT WHOLE THINF

-I love how he acts on the sea cuz he’s not a coward on sea, I feel like when he’s on the water he acts how he wants to be. Heroic, brave, competent. He’s so lovely, you can tell he loves the water.

- he can’t swim, like why can’t he swim 😭😭

- this is a little personal but I loathe myself a lot cuz I feel like I’m a pathetic loser who’s completely incompetent and a worthless human being and knowing that I adore a character who is like that makes me feel a little better about myself? It’s complicated but he’s just like me fr.

- I love how before you go to the last dungeon he just, acts really sweet towards you? He tells you to have fun and to adventure and I feel like he really genuinely cares for Link and yeah. He’s such a dad fr.

- he’s such a unique character in the Zelda series. Like there’s not a lot of actual father figures hence why Rusl is also very unique to me, and Linebeck is kinda the same to me. But, I already said this in a post, he’s barely connected to Link or Bellum in any way in the game. He never knew Link, he’s not apart of some magical race, he’s not connected to the ocean king, the only thing he’s connected to is his knowledge of the ghost ship. He’s just some guy and I really love that. Unspecial characters are my favorite. And I know the manga is different but I prefer him being some guy

- we don’t know how good of a father he was but we do know he was a good grandfather 🥺🥺🥺

- in spirit tracks it seems that he did learn to embrace adventure and loved puzzles and stuff, which I think is neat.

- the ending where he wishes for his ship back, like it’s kinda cliche but it‘s so sweet 😭😭😭 he loves his ship more than treasure.

- he got found family’d HARD.

- ok there’s some parts of this scene that I don’t like but when Oshus promises him a wish and he goes full 180 and his music is super dramatic and he wants nothing more than to save the ocean king like he’s so dumb

- I love his banter with Ciela I think it’s so fun, tho I do feel like Ciela is a little too mean, they’re relationship means a lot to me <3

- when he knocks over tetra’s statue like PLS HES SO DUMB.

- he says he’s a lone wolf but he’s really not he wants friends.

- the whole thing with Jolene is so insane and so funny to me 😭😭😭

- his letter to Link after you visit Zauz is weirdly sweet to me like he can’t figure out how to put things into words and he can’t say it in person so he just puts it in a letter cuz it’s easier for him. He’s just like me FRRRRRR.

- he’s so scrunkley I wanna shake him in a pringles can.

- I just love him a lot

[gabessquishytum]

The Dreaming responds to Hob.

Every time that Hob falls asleep now, the weather in the Dreaming gets hot and muggy, like a summers day where all you can do is lay around naked and hope for the heat to break.

Most dreamers don't feel it (but Matthew does & Lucienne just waves it off with a wilting blush), but Hob does, even if he doesnt know he's dreaming and regardless of his dream setting -- dreaming of teaching/dreaming of sitting in the White Horse/dreaming of that one winters day in 1458 -- he's still just wearing tiny shorts and no shirt, glistening with sweat.

Dream doesn't know how to make it stop and he hasn't invited Hob back to the library in ages, because even when Hob is aware he's dreaming, he starts out dressed in nothing but short shorts.

It's infuriating!

It's sooooooooo sexy!!

Hehe, I always love the trope of the dreaming reacting to Hob because it literally is Dream and its expressing his feelings!!

Hob is actually kind of bummed by this whole thing because ALL his dreams these days feel like that nightmare where you go to work for a special presentation and realise you're doing it naked. Whatever Hob dreams about, he's always nearly nude! The tiny shorts don't cover much. And he's hardly seen Dream at all. It's very peculiar. When Dream does stop by one of Hob’s dreams for a visit he immediately hands Hob this giant robe and indicates for him to put it on! Of course it's nice to see his friend and have a chat, but Hob gets this sad feeling that Dream must think his body is ugly or something?

It's silly, but Hob can't help it. In the waking world he starts layering up more when Dream is visiting, even if the weather is fine. He doesn't want Dream to be uncomfortable and while the idea of his dearest beloved friend thinking that he's ugly hurts Hob’s heart, he tries to get on with life.

...and with Hob layering up more, the dreaming gets frustrated that it isn't seeing as much of Hob as it wants! So what happens? The dreaming gets hotter, and the little shorts preserving Hob’s modesty disappear entirely.

Matthew actually falls out of the sky, and even Dream is sweating. He's thinking of Hob so much he accidentally pulls him into the throne room from across the dreaming. Poor Hob ends up naked, practically in Dream’s lap, desperately apologising and trying to cover up.

It takes a lot of blushing and stuttering for Dream is confess that he's not offended by Hob’s nudity... he's absolutely feral and horny about it to the point where he's altered the climate of his realm. Which pretty much takes Hob’s self esteem from 0 to 100.

Hopefully the dreaming will calm down a little if it's allowed to look and touch?

[santacoppelia]

Do you have any favorite Good Omens fics you would recommend, or have you written any?

Hi there!!!

Oh, dear, I have A TON! I'm not sure if they would be "new", but here I go, nonetheless. I read a lot of AU fics (and I'm writing one), so I hope it's not a pet peeve of yours! I'll try to limit myself and not recommend things that I have seen recommended a lot (like "Factory Settings", "the therapy one with the impossibly long name" LOL, "Slow Show", "Oopsie Omens"... I'll make a couple of exceptions, tho). I also read a lot of WIP's, love angst, hurt/comfort and fluff, and prefer skipping over smut (Not a against it per se, love sexy times with feelings), so my selection is... Very particular. Here it goes!!

Demon and Angel Professors: I adore this series of short fics. There are 200 of them in the collection, they all are 666 words long, and both the guys and the new characters are absolutely endearing. The diversity of the cast was a welcome addition.

Listen, Will You Learn To Hear Me From Afar?: This one is short, a little sad but very, very sweet. Aziraphale starts receiving flowers and poems every three years, after Crowley disappears in Edinburgh. I loved the poetry selection.

Stalwart Sun, Wily Moon: Probably, my first AU and the one that started it all. I'm pretty sure this is one of the "everyone and their grannies have already read this", but I adore the relationships, the way the characters transformed by entering this universe (Crowley being a fantastic art thief with a magnificent taste for clothes was something I never knew I needed). I would absolutely watch an adaptation of this fic to the screens.

Too Wise To Woo Peaceably: This one is, probably, another one of the "everyone has read this fic and I don't care", but I really feel deeply about it and its author. It was a tour the force, with daily posting and the author reading and answering the comments EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Feral But Fluffy brought me single-handedly into being an active participant in this fandom instead of just lurking in the corners. It's a fantastic continuation from the ending of Season 2, with a lot of angst, hurt, laugh and comfort. And Muriel rings absolutely true in here.

Give A Man A Mask: Another one by Feral! This one is a beautiful seduction game, taking Venice and a Masquerade as the background. Sexy, exciting, and hurtful at the same time.

Postcards From Paris: I find myself absolutely enraptured by the AUs created by Ghostrat (and their illustrations!! I use his AU Streamer!Crowley as my laptop wallpaper), but this one is very close to my heart. One lonely lawyer starts receiving postcards addressed to the previous tenant, signed by one AZF. The concept and execution are lovely. His Streamers AU is also very funny, and the Professors AU (Mon Horrible Cheri) is one of the "must reads with a lot of hits that recommends by itself".

Husband Material: This AU has made me laugh A LOT. Crowley is a wedding planner... And he has to plan the wedding of "the one who got away", Aziraphale. It is still a WIP, and it lights my day whenever it appears in my inbox.

Shepherds of the Damned: an after S2 work, the Crowley recovery arc in this fic had my heart leaping. It is also gripping and full with angst and action. A very noble S3, if you ask me.

Symphony of Second Chances: in this AU, Crowley is a drummer, recovering from a terrible shoulder injury and trying to get back to his place in the orchestra. Aziraphale is the visiting director for the next season... And they are absolutely smitten with each other. A lot of hurt and the sweetest comfort ever (it made me want an Aziraphale in my life more than ever). Still a WIP.

The Anon Before Christmas: This fic was pure happiness and tooth rotting fluff, ideal for December, with a warm cup of cocoa. They are humans and have the nicest group of friends one can ever imagine... But they loathe each other. Of course, one meddling Anathema makes sure to make Crowley Aziraphale's Secret Santa.

To Love The Stars Too Fondly: Another fantastic post S2 fic, filled with love and angst and adventure and all the right things to make it a gripping read, and a GREAT ending. Another take that could be a satisfying alternate canon.

Because We Are Carying The Fire: A horror AU! Aziraphale is a professor with a PhD in parapsychology, and one day he receives a mysterious book. Weird things happen, and he looks for the help of Crowley, a podcaster and self appointed demon expert. It is a WIP, and it really delivers. It is romantic and terrifying at the same time.

And my works!

I've written a short fic, Rebellion, speculating with the causes of The Starmaker's Fall. It came from a prompt imagining "what if rebel angels had been creating alternative lifeforms in the Universe", and it turned slightly dark (because I'm me). I'm also writing and publishing a longer fic, Under The Fold, an AU where AZ Fell and AJ Crowley are journalists who made an exposé that put them in danger and where they will have to use all of their researching abilities to bring justice (and avoid dangers). I've already written 2/3 of it, and half of it is already up, if you feel like reading it!

I enjoyed answering this entirely TOO MUCH. Take all this reading suggestions!

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

idk why but something just Snapped in me (again) and im going absolutely feral over wrio again. like. like. like.

he is so fucking INTERESTING like. i saw his little 'havent met this character yet' intro card bc he was in the event at the end and

Like. he knows he's just Some Guy and finds it easy to settle into that kind of role but the fact that no one knows him completely and implying that no one knowing him that well is HOW keeps his power in meropide.......

he just So Naturally changes his demeanor at will, for whatever the situation calls for, just so complex of a character i find a lot of people just boil him down to 'hahah hes just some silly good completely good natured guy who likes tea :)' OR like power trip fantasies where hes aggressive and uses his power to do whatever he wants (but in a SEXY haha way)

but there is so much more to him with the fact he can literally rotate around different personas of what people THINK hes like to use to his advantage (whether for his own gain or for the greater good)

and its so sad to know that no one actually KNOWS real, complete him. and not to pull the 'uwu trauma' card with him but. his horrific childhood and growing up in literal prison has made him have to put up these different facades in order to survive and letting any of that control slip away will put everything has done for himself & the fortress at risk. he rlly does have such a lonely existence. man i love this dude.

[eldritch-spouse]

Can you imagine the clergy boy’s reaction to an obsession that kind of gets turned on when the boy does fucked up things? Even better if the obsession is a ashamed about it and doesn’t want to admit it

[You mean me? Ahahah-]

Reaction to you getting turned on by their dubious actions

Patches really doesn't want to show you the more ruthless side of his line of work, because he fears the opposite reaction- Which would be natural. It's not always making bobbles and slaving over paperwork, but that's what it looks like to you. The one time you see him pick someone apart with a level of stone-cold proficiency as they squeal and convulse like dying animals is when he truly thinks that the relationship is over and he's going to have to resort to drastic measures (if he hasn't already). To see you get aroused however... Well, the dullahan wouldn't mind an audience, you know? Please sit down, he'll explain the procedure step by step. And do get comfortable.

Santi doesn't usually do anything fucked up. The most "gruesome" you're likely to see is the demon indulging someone who's extremely masochistic and likes getting torn. Though, if ever you catch the incubus going feral over another lust demon in the premises, then you'll get to see bloody murder. Santi's not sure what to say to you once his fit dies down, but it's as if he wants to cry in relief at the scent of your arousal. Oh no no, come back here, you know he of all people doesn't mind it a bit messy. He's very flattered.

Morell might not always be the most attentive, so it takes an encounter or two for him to realize you're drooling over seeing him rend a long pig in half with a couple of clean cuts. Or that you try to get close to the main kitchen doors to hear them scream for mercy, to see his sick grin when an artery paints him red. You know, you're kinda fucked up Piglet, but you're his kind of fucked up. The chef makes it a point to corner you right after he's done butchering someone and giving you a gross hug, feeling you up, just to see if you'll admit it, if you can hide it. Your bluff is called soon, and Morell is very eager to know exactly what gets you off about it, so you can do it with him next time.

Grimbly's subtle. He doesn't like getting violent or nasty in front of you, because he's your perfect babyboy after all... But sometimes, trouble comes after him anyway. And it won't be the first or last time he has to bleed someone out. Crumple them like a sheet of paper, or Hell, just make them fucking cry like a baby with a couple of well-placed insinuations. Grimbly is one vindictive, horrid little creature full of hate, greed and envy. He doesn't really know how to react to the fact that it gets you off, because he doesn't want you to perceive him that way. He's sure there's other things you find sexy in him, r-right?

Gallon isn't always one for gratuitous violence, really. He likes the occasional drink poisoning and setting up fights between a couple of patrons, but he's usually got a pretty good grip of himself. Every now and then however, some people get a little too rowdy and Belo's already got his hands full, so that leaves the slime to his own tentacled devices. It's really quite something seeing Gallon constrict and disarm someone, stealing the breath out of them, drowning them in his own slime. He could just stop and throw the sad sap out, but how will the others learn then? The bartender only halts when he realizes you're staring in silent arousal. Oh? Is there something you want to tell him, cherry? Just for you, he's going to make an effort to handle the troublemakers directly in your view.

Nebul's not that surprised to see your reaction to what he does to the human mind. Did you know that a lot his "clients" actually work for humans as well? The Clergy doesn't sell to humans directly, but a loophole is often exploited by just sending a monster to do a human's dirty work. He senses your arousal the moment he walks out with two others of your kind in leashes, bruised and trained into silence. He wonders, is it that you want to be them, or that you want to be involved in his line of work? Nebul will nitpick these sentiments of yours while dangling the promise of getting you off above your head, like a bone for a mutt. This discovery will radically alter your relationship, and with the right cards, you may get to work under him, sort of.

Sybastian isn't as surprised, but for misguided reasons. Of course you'd get fucking horny when he successfully hunts down an escapist, or when he tears one of the monsters Belo throws at him in pieces- It means he's a perfectly strong, dexterous and fast mate! It means he's top of the chain, a worthy mimic! You're right to crave him, and Syb won't let you get away with pretending he doesn't arouse you. Come on, he can smell it you know? You could always just be a part of the escapist games too, but he won't maim you of course, you'll offer him something better, won't you?

Vinnel is never going to live this down. Ever. You couldn't have fallen into worse hands than his. Or better ones, it kind of depends on the resilience of your moral compass. The shaming the jester inflicts onto you after seeing you clench your thighs during one of his shows feels almost rushed. The performer is usually one to take his time while tormenting you, but this once, it seems as if he's a bit too eager to move on, to start teaching you more about his techniques. Because now that he knows you're a filthy little gore-loving pervert, you're going to feature in every single show! Try not to cream yourself, poppet!

Fank-e is yet another one who's not that thirsty for violence. But he's also not always the most empathetic to a bloodbath. Ambivalent, if not a little morbidly curious at times. Fank-e does kill every now and then, usually to defend a friend, himself or because someone didn't get the message that you're not for "playing". He's usually very quick to compress someone's skull like an empty can, giggling about "t3h pULP" before letting the cadaver drop entirely. Spotting signs of arousal in you isn't hard, and while the robot finds it odd, he doesn't care about the moral implications of such and just capitalizes on the occasions.

Belo doesn't know how to feel. On the one hand, he likes knowing that he's attractive to you. On the other, this... Dealing with pests, isn't supposed to turn you on. While there's something about the situation that doesn't quite sit right with the power angel, he's not above taking the situation into advantage and making more displays of strength, even if unnecessary. He thinks he'll do just about anything to have you stare at him like that forever. Even if you deny it, he can tell, he can sniff that sin in you. But it's okay, your secret is safe with Belo, and if there's anyone whose gruesome acts you should ogle, it's him.

Krulu doesn't know what all this embarrassment is about. Wrong? What do you mean this is wrong? That it's something you shouldn't like? How very audacious of you, lesser. He's your god, your deity, your purpose in life is to serve him- Krulu dictates what is right and wrong, not you. Your arousal in seeing the siadar work is nothing but a helpless response from your inferior little body, which is merely expressing the approval your mouth seemingly can't yet. You know what's right? Right is when you shudder and heat up for him when he so much as wraps a hand around your throat. Arousal in everything Krulu does is the correct response.

[chamerionwrites]

Tag Nine People You'd Like To Get To Know Better

FAVOURITE COLOUR(s): Rusty red-orange, deep cool spruce green, bright cobalt blue, wine red, the various shades of slate green/grey/blue.

FAVOURITE FLAVOUR(s): Weirdly difficult question, in that what I think I most enjoy about food is the way that different flavors and textures complement each other to become more than the sum of their parts. But I am a huge fan of deep rich fruity-savory umami (sundried tomatoes, a great red chile sauce, things braised in red wine) as well as absolutely any kind of citrus or fresh herbs.

Also, while this isn't exactly one thing and it might be simpler just to say that I like strong flavors, I fall firmly into the These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things camp on a lot of polarizingly funky/briny things (smoked salmon, goat cheese, blue cheese, olives, anchovies, preserved lemons, etc).

Also the taste+aroma of both fresh bread and corn tortillas hot off the comal is imo the human equivalent of catnip, ie "provokes immoderate feral delight on some bizarrely primal level."

FAVOURITE MUSIC: The very sexy Bermuda Triangle where blues/rock/folk bleed into and/or influence one another. Anything else that takes my fancy, including but not limited to a lot of soul, post-punk, and highly danceable salsa or big band swing stuff. Sad jazz. Gratuitously melancholy strings. Great lyrics, great harmonies, deep rich vocals.

FAVOURITE MOVIE(s): I have never in my life been able to pick one favorite book, but Pan's Labyrinth is easily my favorite movie.

FAVOURITE BOOK(s): This is the impossible question to me but The Periodic Table, Signs Preceding The End of The World, The Things They Carried, The Little Drummer Girl, and everything Arundhati Roy has ever written are all on the list somewhere.

FAVOURITE SERIES(es): The Same Sky is exquisitely good and The Night Manager is my id-stroking comfort rewatch. I also loved Andor and the first season of Hannibal.

LAST SONG: I was just going through this tag earlier.

LAST SERIES: Thanks to holiday craft fair season I have had zero ability to do longform TV anytime within the last few months. (Also, frankly, multi-season TV series are the one of the most difficult media formats for my brain to engage with; it's a fantastic storytelling medium when done well, but I personally have a much harder time sitting down for two hours of TV than for two hours of reading and thus getting started often feels like a huge commitment. I am really a 3-6 eps and done miniseries person at heart.)

That said I am a big podcasts-while-working person and I've been listening to a lot of Friends At The Table and Bad Gays recently.

LAST MOVIE: The Wind That Shakes The Barley, which has been on the Somehow I've Never Seen This And I Really Should list for a while. It has promptly been moved to the OFC It's Possible To Make A War Movie That Doesn't Glorify War, Y'all Are Just Fools And Cowards list.

CURRENTLY READING: ...I have to admit that I'm re-reading Kissinger's Shadow (to Mark The Occasion).

CURRENTLY WATCHING: Nothing (see above), though I have ambitions of giving Black Sails a shot.

CURRENTLY WORKING ON: The sketching stage of some linocuts, some experimental worldbuild-y map-drawing (important as Cartography And Its Imperial Misuses are kinda thematically and plottily relevant to the story, at least in its nebulous conceptual form).

TAGGED BY @silkenred (thanks!), and TAGGING (only if you want ofc) @sassysnowperson, @tobermoriansass, @cosmonauthill, @essayofthoughts, and anybody else who feels like doing this. (No really, I'm shy about tagging but please do the thing if you're interested.)

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

OFMD EP1 REACTION

i already know this is a dream sequence but opening on stede and izzy having a badass swordfight is dope

stede's fantasy is all about him looking and sounding super masc... babyboy that's not you...

HE FUCKING STABBED IZZY. HE KILLED HIM

and of course izzy's last words are "you absolute twaaaaaaaaaat" i'm fucking dying

AND THERE'S THE SLOMO BAYWATCH RUN GOD I LOVE IT

"knew you'd find me babe" and of course ed's got his beautiful beard back and he looks perfect and he loves stede's beard sfjgdskjgdshj stede

aaaaaaand f in the chat for stede's dream sequence, wee john is doing chemical warfare

"can't be worse than you moaning 'ed, oh, ed' all night long" f in the chat for black pete and the rest of the crew

AHAHAHA roach going "he's single" and shoving the swede at jackie. c'mon swede be a hobosexual for us we gotta sleep somewhere

"come closer. spanish jackie don't bite. i lied, i bite" and he giggles i am immediately on board congrats jackie on your 21st husband

love olu's fancy bartender waistcoat!

"i'll buy you a drink" this guy! the guy who's practically stede's twin! in the disco outfit that stede steals! is he the guy stede does a punch on? is he hitting on stede? oh my GOD where is this going

"richard banes. are you stede bonnet?" dear lord this guy could not have a posher accent. is he the guy who ends up with a fake nose. he's an undercover cop isn't he. how else does he know who stede is

awww fuck we're cutting to ed. shit's about to go down

(stede) "hope you're thinking of me as well" close-up on ed's TRUST NO-ONE tattoo. fuuuuuuuuck

and immediately the wedding ed's gonna crash is like some extremely classist/"we must breed more upper class, worthy humans" shit, so ed can do a little murder actually i immediately don't feel bad for them

"objection" ed can board a ship without anyone fucking noticing if it looks cool actually

THERE HE IS he's made everyone put on the emo paint. i keep pausing and rewatching this part. love izzy's sarcastic little smile

jim looks so fucking sexy

so does frenchie tbh

ed's just eating the cake. cake topper my beloved...

OH NO IVAN DIED. OFF-SCREEN. F IN THE CHAT. and frenchie only cares about the cake JUST KIDDING HE IS HARDCORE DISSOCIATING. poor fang tho...

stede taking down blackbeard's wanted poster... does he have a little shrine in the pig sty he's sleeping in. does he draw hearts on the posters

"he's just blowing off some steam" stede has decided the atrocities are cool and fun actually. atrocities are okay if the man doing them has big beautiful brown eyes too. what about it

"i also killed someone and stole their kiosk. sometimes action is better than vision" can we get sue on the crew? "that's what i've been telling him" "that's 'cause you're the smart one" sue confirms that olu is the only crewmember with a brain cell

'we can't turn up with any old ship, we need to look good" STEDE. FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD.

ed putting the little cake topper in his breast pocket next to his heart i'm going feral

"did everyone get cake?" "yeah they got cake"

ed is doing drugs and izzy has never looked more miserable and soggy. he looks like someone dunked him in an inkwell

OH HERE'S THE SCENE. THE SAD WET MEOW MEOW SCENE

shit's gotta be really bad if izzy needs to be rocked and cuddled while he cries... babyboy you should have just let ed hold the talent show...

i am not at all surprised that jackie's taking all of stede and co.'s savings. this is jackie's house. jackie does not have a tip jar. you're in the republic of pirates hide it better next time

BOO CAKES!

well you didn't even get jackie and the swede a wedding present. this is her wedding present. HIDE THE JAR BETTER-

"what if we took that back?" "i think my husbands would have a problem with that. have you met all twenty of 'em?" PAUSING TO LOOK AT THE HUSBANDS.

"that's a lot of husbands" black pete misses his husband, tails. he misses him a lot

love the one wearing no shirt and a tight waistcoat/corset thing with the axe. one's got cool glasses. two of them are either super twinky or lady-husbands, excellent either way (jackie and her lady-husbands, nandor and his guy-wives... beautiful...)

EDIT: THE TWO HUSBANDS ARE TRANS GUYS HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

"i know that guy we had breakfast together" "you will be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh ok" sometimes a family is a pirate businesswoman and her 20 19 18 20 husbands and we stan

maybe the sexy axe husband cooked the breakfast. i am delighting in imagining them being all cute and domestic until jackie needs them to stand around and look intimidating and then they all scramble into position. their job is to cook breakfast and look sexy and scare the shit out of anyone jackie points them at

i like to imagine that as soon as one of jackie's husbands died she's like fuck i gotta get a new one to make up the numbers. my brand is 20 husbands i can't be seen with only 19. who's new in town that is remotely attractive. ooh, swedish blondie with a metal tooth, he'll look nice next to the one in glasses

anyway stede and co. are now homeless rip

why does roach have buttons on a rope leash sfhdskjghsgk is buttons so desperate to return to his true love (the sea) that they have to treat him like a toddler trying to run into traffic

"dear ed, i think i'm afraid to see you. i'm not afraid you're gonna kill me, i'm afraid your life is better without me!" I AM GOING TO LOSE IT. SOMEONE GET THIS POOR BOY SOME SELF-ESTEEM

i paused on the wanted poster and it said "wanted for theft brigandry larceny arson tax evasion" sgkjhsfgkjsfhgk the fucking IRS is going to find ed before stede does

"could be. could be, mate" stede your ed impression sucks shit

oh god richard's there. are you a cop or just a fan.

"the gentleman pirate saved my life! quite frankly, you're my hero!" with his fancy fucking coat oh god stede has a fan. stede has a copycat fan. AND STEDE'S NOW HAPPY OH MY GOD I AM HITTING HIM WITH A HAMMER (affectionate)

he fed stede a line about jackie's roman puzzle chest... i don't fucking trust this guy i'm convinced he's either a navy plant or a husband plant...

(if he is truly just a baby stede i'm putting him in a jar and shaking him (affectionate))

I FUCKING LOVE THE SWEDE

oh god back to ed's depression den

"not good enough. and that's another toe. take your boot off." okay ed, i know you're trying to get izzy or anybody to kill you in your sleep or something but i'm still. noooo don't commit atrocities you're soo sexy aha

"who am i to you" oh god. shit's gotta be really really fucking bad if izzy's doing emotional intimacy

"i have... love for you, edward" i'm going to explode

first of all izzy is delusional if he thinks he knows ed better than anyone else - we know and love this about him

second, con's fucking acting is going to kill me. he's looking at the floor, there are tears in his eyes, he's whispering and pauses as if saying the word love is going to kill him (and it's not just the emotional repression considering how volatile ed is)

and the way the line is written - it's not "i love you" or "i'm in love with you", it's not a thing izzy does or is, it's a thing he has. an object he's carrying around, separate to him, he's trying to distance himself from it.

and of course ed interrupts him with "oh come on" because he does not trust that anyone actually loves him and he doesn't want anyone to any more, he wants izzy to hate him and kill him!

"i'm worried about you, we all are. the atmosphere on this ship is completely poisoned. but if we could all just maybe... talk it through" SHIT'S GOT TO BE REALLY REALLY UNQUESTIONABLY HORRIFICALLY FUCKING BAD IF IZZY IS ADOPTING STEDE'S CATCHPHRASE

ed, ominously "as a crew" as blackbeard's leitmotif starts up... WORST CHOICE OF WORDS EVER IZZY I'M TERRIFIED

izzy: i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up

POOR FANG IS WHIMPERING ED DON'T SCARE HIM!!!!!

"i know who we should ask, ol' blackbeard!" (shoves gun under his own chin) jesus christ ed

"FUCKING END!" izzy has had ENOUGH

AND AS SOON AS HE SAYS STEDE'S NAME ED SHOOTS HIM

"frenchie, you are now first mate" STEPS OVER IZZY GROANING IN PAIN

i am very worried

HARD CUT TO THE SWEDE AND JACKIE LMAO

oh god stede's adopted ricky. this can only end terribly

aaaaaand f in the chat for ricky's nose

"i can't believe you guys robbed jackie! so bad!" swede.

jackie looks gorgeous though

SUE IS OF COURSE THE BADASS PIRATE QUEEN

and jackie loves her a sexy swedish double-crosser

thank you sue for adopting the gang of idiots

OH GOD JIM AND ARCHIE MOPPING UP IZZY'S BLOOD. THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD

poor fang is still crying

awwww and jim's telling him pinocchio to calm him down! (but they suck at telling stories)

"do the voice"

and jim does the fucking voice

ed sounds like he's holding back tears as he describes sailing and robbing and never landing

"fuck you, stede bonnet" "good night, ed teach" HHHHHHH

stede come on man pick up a fucking oar you're not the captain any more

at least we got one romantic reunion! and it was buttons and the ocean <3

sdkfjhsdkjgsdk everyone being like "are we soup merchants now? sweet" and olu with his poor overworked brain cell like "hang on... there's no soup here"

ZHENG YI SAO FUCK YEAH BAY BEE

AFTER CREDITS SEQUENCE!!! storytime with jim extended edition!!!!!

[elvisprettymama]

I missed you

Pairing: Elvis x reader

Summary: Elvis hasn’t been around a lot, and your tired of it, but he makes it up to you

Warnings: !Smut!

Y/n’s POV:

Alone.....Here I was alone again, he left. Elvis had gone on tour again, I was fed up with it, he left me all the time. But when he was here, he told me that I couldn't leave, because he didn't want to lose me, and it really didn't make sense. I missed him...as much as I hated when he left, I missed him, and it hurt to know what colonel didn't care that he didn't want to leave. I missed him so much....I missed his soft lips against mine, I missed his touch, his scent, but the most important thing I missed was, his smile. I was so sad that he wasn't there, I missed him a lot.

I missed him making love to me, we haven't made love in a while, and it is frustrating sometimes. I was sitting on the couch when I heard a car come in the drive way, I didn't mind who it was. I was watching television when I heard a familiar laugh outside, he had came back early than he was supposed to. I saw Joe and sonny come in laughing with Elvis, he was laughing when he walked in. He came over to hug me, but I backed away and went upstairs to the room and slammed the door, I heard someone come in the room.

“Babygirl, what's wrong. Did I do somethin'" he asks, "Elvis you keep leaving...you fucking leave for God knows how long, and you come back only for a few days, I'm tired of it. It's annoying." I say annoyed and early hurt, "baby, I know it's just i-i care about my music and my fans, but regardless of all of that, baby I care about you more" he says turning me around, "I missed you tho.....I really missed you baby" I say smiling, "I missed you too little mama" he says smirking.

“I missed you too little mama" he says smirking. He kissed me and god was it good to feel his lips on mine again, I melted into the kiss and I wrapped my arms around his neck and I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist.

Elvis's POV:

I felt bad....I felt so bad for making her feel like that and I regretted it. "I missed you tho.....I really missed you baby" she says smiling, "I missed you too little mama" I said smirking. I kissed her, god I loved her so much, I had missed her lips against mine for so long, she wrapped her arms around my neck and she jumped and wrapped her legs around my waist. I held her up by her ass, I started kissing her neck.

She moaned, I laid her down on the bed and I kissed her all the way down, I reached her underwear and i looked up at her for approval before removing them, she nodded her head and I removed them. I spread her legs apart and I licked a stripe on her clit, I began eating her out 'god I missed her taste' I kissed her clit and she moaned. "Fuckkkkkk, Elvis please keep going" she whimpered, god I missed her whimpers.

I went faster "oh God Elvis, please, don't stop.....baby I'm so close" she gasped, I slipped a finger in and I watched her become undone as I fingered her, I helped her ride out her high. She was so sexy, covered in sweat and just looking at her made me feral

Y/n’s POV:

God I missed him so much, he went faster and I got closer, I came and it felt good. He helped me ride out my high, and he stopped so I took the opportunity to flip him over and straddle him, I kissed him down his chest and his stomach and I got to his pants, I unbuttoned them and pulled them down, I pulled his boxers down and I began to stroke his cock, after a few strokes I sucked on the tip, earning a groan from him.

I bobbed my head up and down on his cock, I stroked whatever I couldn't fit in my mouth. "Oh God, pretty mama keep that a'goin" he moaned, I kept going "woah pretty mama- if you keep doing it like that imma'" before he could finish, he came in my mouth. I swallowed and I stood up and I kissed him, he got on top of me and positioned himself at my entrance, he slipped in and he started off slow.

Painfully slow, "Elvis please go faster" I whispered, he pounded into me while looking into my eyes, god it felt so good. "Oh my, Elvis" I gasped, he pounded into me until I clenched around him, "woah- little mama do that again" he said smirking, I did it again and he went even faster "baby I'm close....GODDDD I'm so close" I whimpered. He kept the pace and I came, he continued to pound into me until he came as well.

He flopped down beside me and smiled, once we caught our breath, I looked at him and smiled "making love to you...it feels so good, I missed us....I missed us cuddling and kissing and holding each other" I say caressing his face. " I know pretty mama...me too, that's why...I'm stayin home for the next 2 weeks" he says smiling, "wait- What about your fans" I say confused, "ah, they'll understand baby" he says smiling, he pulls me by my waist and holds me, "I love you " he says kissing my neck, "I love you too Elvis" I say giggling.

I was happy he was back home, I needed him to come back.....and that's just what he did.

[thebumblecee]

I got the feeling the fandom just focuses on the drama instead of the wedding™ which is just sad! So what are your thoughts on: vows? wedding kiss? possible last names? first dance and if so which song? who will be giving speeches? possible sneak off/sexy moment? or a tarlos alone moment? honeymoon destination? bachelor party? what else wedding related you want to talk about! Let’s spread joy and love!

A lot of people have hyperfocused on the tragedy part which is a shame!

Hell yeah for this ask! Let’s get excited together, this is my ultimate wish list.

Vows:

They’re going to write them themselves and it’s simply going to break me. If they have any call backs or if one of them tell the other to breathe throughout I’m going to be feral. They deserve to have the mushy wedding ever.

Kiss:

If one of them dips the other during a kiss I’m not going to last through the rest of it. They deserve to kiss until they’re smiling into each other’s mouths.

Last names:

I’m a bit of a weirdo I like their names as they are and don’t think they should change them, sorry!

If I had to choose it’d be Strand-Reyes

First dance + Song

A slow dance with TK’s arms wrapped around Carlos’ neck.

My song of choice is cheesy af by it’s You’re Still The One by Shania Twain. I would pass out honestly.

Speeches:

Owen is going to give a great, and slightly embarrassing, speech I bet my hat on it. I think Paul will have a beautiful speech as officiant. Maybe a montage of the 126 saying words? That would end me!

Sexy sneak off:

Oh hell yeah, as soon as they see the rings on each other’s fingers they’re going to drag each other to a dark corner. They’ll come back with bitten red mouths and messy hair and people will politely ignore it.

I want a call back to “we make a great team” maybe at night they can look at the stars in their suits and their rings glint in the moon light.

Honeymoon:

So we know there’s a pool, maybe a beach, they filmed in Malibu so maybe it’ll be set in Malibu as well? (I know nothing about USA geography) but wherever they end up Carlos isn’t going to get homesick this time because TK is his home.

Bachelor party:

I would love them to go out and celebrate separately and then end up together any way. Who better to celebrate their upcoming wedding with that each other?

I’ve made a post about this before but for me the ideal situation would be that they are trying to do the traditional staying apart the night before the wedding thing but they both miss each other so much they sneak out to be with each other ♥️♥️♥️

I would also love a little scene of Carlos feeding a bit cake to TK or something similar. Something cutesy and domestic.

Thank you for this ask!!! I want to hear all your wishes and wants (all of you!!)

We might not get what we want but we can still celebrate the fact we ARE getting an interracial queer marriage on mainstream tv that’s officiate by a black trans man.

HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT, FRIENDS????

[gabessquishytum]

Hairy Hob is a blessing I never thought I needed. And this is coming from someone who was kind of meh on the whole body hair thing in sex stuff, it's fine if it's in it, but not my thing usually. Imagine my surprise when I end up going feral, not for someone like the Corinthian who honestly should be more my type, I end up going absolutely bonkers for Hob Gadling. Hob Gadling this absolute Honda Civic of a man, I love him.

Scent kink too, but I digress. More to the point, for someone like Hob, I figured he might be a bit insecure about his body hair when he and Dream first get together. Maybe he noticed one time how much arm hair he has compared to Dream, who took off his coat for some reason. So, the day comes when they finally plan to do the do, and Hob spends the entire morning and afternoon shaving his entire body, cause waxing will hurt too much XD. And then it's time, they're making out. Deam starts to touch his body while kissing and is progressively becoming more confused the more he touches Hob. Until Dream loses patience and rips his shirt to shreds to see his bare chest. And the horror on Dream's face XD, you'd think someone died or something, immediately ripping off Hob's pants and underwear, and he's bare everywhere of course. Dream looked him over twice, even going so far as to make Hob present himself, ie bending over and spreading himself.

Hob's face is beet red, his face is like a tomato, doesn't understand what the fuss is, he thought Dream might like him like this. But the mounting rage on the Dreamlord's face says otherwise. Dream is livid, and I wonder how he'll punish Hob for this. huehuehuehuehuehuehueheuhehuehue

-Love Yan Anon <3

yeSSSS love that my Hairy Hob propaganda is spreading <3 it's funny bc Hob IS so my type it's almost ridiculous. I think body hair really is A Thing for me (on whatever gender) and I can't explain it BUT. I can attempt to spread the gospel about it heehee.

LOVE the idea of Hob being insecure though omg!!! He's really overthinking everything and he's noticed that Dream is very,,, smooth. He's got the tiniest bit of upper lip stubble but aside from that, he's pretty hairless! And Hob is like, "I'm connecting the dots. He was all weird in 1589, when I had facial hair. Obviously he hates body hair and stuff." And Matthew is probably there like "you haven't connected shit my dude" but Hob is already convinced.

And he's a lil sad because ugh, he has a lot of hair, it's kinda part of him?? Also it takes a long time to shave??? But he'd do anything for Dream so. He spends a good 3 hours meticulously making sure he's smooth, even his butthole doesn't escape, it's a fucking nightmare but. Worth it. For Dream.

And yeah Dream is pissed off, ok. He's finally got Hob naked after 600 fucking years of lustful yearning (including a solid half an hour staring at his chest hair in 1689) and he just doesn't get it. But he's incapable of having a normal conversation about it so he pulls a very squirmy (and slightly itchy, fucking shaving burn??? Oww!!) Hob over his lap and demands an explanation.

Hob is humiliated and embarrassingly turned on about it, and he explains his thought process and Dream is just like. "Oh wow. I'm in love with an idiot." Which is objectively not an ideal moment for a love declaration but does clear up a lot of Hob’s self esteem issues.

But Dream is still committed to punishing his lover for his grave sins against all that lovely sexy body hair. He spends a good hour or two smacking Hob’s poor arse (with particular focus on his hole, which is already stinging sooo badly) and his cock. All his shaving implements are immediately banished too, and it's for Dream to decide when he gets his face shaving privileges back. In fact, maybe Dream decides that Hob needs a little more supervision overall. And maybe Hob is unreasonably turned on by the fact that Dream is in charge of his outfit for each day, and his meals, and most importantly, his bedtime <3