#a never ending sea of hp....

[incoherent-orca]

In ASL and SSL, this is the gesture for "Inshallah," which means means "God willing"; it's used to express hope that a specific future event will come to pass.

In a few hours, a temporary ceasefire or "humanitarian pause" is going to start

Shortly after posting this, the "pause" began—and the IOF immediately broke it by opening fire on Palestinians returning to their homes in northern Gaza.

A true, permanent ceasefire is one of the most urgent demands, but WHEN a ceasefire is declared, nobody gets to pat themselves on the back.

And end to the violence can't mean a return to business as usual, where the occupation and apartheid continue and Palestinians are still getting displaced on their own land.

israel must be abolished. They, the US, Canada, the EU, must be made to pay reparations.

Inshallah, we will not stop at a ceasefire

Inshallah, we will see complete liberation for Palestine

🇵🇸 Things you can do below 🇵🇸

🍉 SHARE posts from Palestinians, especially journalists on the ground (copy link on IG works just as well as sharing?). They're literally dying for that footage 🙃 let's make sure it counts

🍉 DONATE an E-sim @connectinghumanity_ on IG

🍉 DONATE to @CareForGaza (Twitter; donation links should be on their profile too). A lot of donation drives are just... making a grab at clout but this one is legit; a number of Gazans confirm that the food/produce is getting to them. The organizer seems to be Palestinian and living there as well

🍉 BOYCOTT brands listed by @bdsnationalcommittee on IG

Official boycott targets: AXA, Puma, Carrefour, Siemens, Ahava, HP, Sodastream, any products from Israel

Organic boycott targets: Domino's, McDonald's, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Wix

🍉 PRESSURE your governments & officials to call for a ceasefire and #InvokeGenocideConvention at the ICJ (rootsaction.org)

🍉 PROTEST. If there are mobilizations in your area, show up to be part of the count. No heroics—do what you feel safe doing and listen to the organizers.

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it was also important to me to include an Al-Qassam fighter in this, because they're often scapegoated by Western media, and also by well-meaning allies who say "but civilians are not Hamas"; there's this attempt to separate militant resistance from the process of liberation as a whole

Yeah, most civilians are not Hamas, but they don't denounce them either. Palestinians call them freedom fighters, protectors.

because the resistance is not a bunch of evil, violent outliers; they are as much victims of the occupation as the women, children, and non-combatants are. Most if not all of them were born under the occupation; a good percentage of them are also orphans.

I will never condemn boys who live along the coast but have never seen the sea.

[metorea]

HP boys as Hozier Songs

All characters aged up + smut & fluff separated

Harry: Like Real People Do

♡ Harry has always felt alienated from others. That is, until he met you.

♡ You have always made him feel like a real person. Like he existed beyond his reputation as the boy who lived. To you, he was no one but Harry.

♡ “We should just kiss like real people do” Harry finds a home in you that he's never had anywhere else. When things seem impossible you are a light at the end of the tunnel, a persistent reminder that sooner or later, it will all be okay.

♡ You were so beautiful that it made him want to cry. Sometimes he'd catch himself gazing at you and forgetting to breathe, entirely enraptured.

♡ This morning was one of those mornings. He'd seen horrible things the night before, being an auror and all- but you, at the counter, fumbling with eggs he assumed you'd intended to cook for breakfast… the cruelty of some wizards was lost to him in the flow of your movements.

♡ Gentle, gentle touches.

♡ He worships you and he wants you to feel it in every brush of his fingers. The bend of your elbow, the back of your knee, it was all so perfect. So magical.

♡ His hands on your hips from behind felt like worship, your gentle moans a prayer.

♡ “So good, so perfect”, He'd murmur, nose buried in the crook of your neck while other parts of him were buried elsewhere- eggs long forgotten.

Ron: Movement

♡ “When you move I'm moved” Ron watches you and is inspired by your every move. For you, he wants to be so much more than he is. You make him want to be better, smarter, stronger- all while making him feel loved just as he is.

♡ He admires you. He always has. You look to him with these big, gentle eyes and he knows at once that nothing could ever make him happier than a home with you.

♡ He dreams of a quiet life but he gets lost in your motion as well. In your excitement, your passions- it's infectious. He builds his life around you and he doesn't mind one bit; he never could.

♡ He shows everything he feels for you that he can't articulate in every move he makes inside you.

♡ Your hands pinned above your head and his face flushed, he's determined to be the best he can be for you.

♡ It's wild, it's passionate, just like the two of you. The fire of his hair matches the fire of his heart as he trails bite marks and kisses down every bit of you that he can reach.

♡ The room grows warm with the fervent way he moves, not that you'd ever dream of complaining. You love it, every bit of it- your legs wrapping around his hips to drive him impossibly further

Cedric: Would that I

♡ Cedric loves every bit of you, in all your duality and ever shifting parts. If anything, it makes him love you more. And you do the same.

♡ He's a consistent man. He likes things to stay the same. His schedule, his plans- but you wreck them every time. You blow in like a breeze from the sea and he watches as you tear up all he thought he knew, smiling all the while.

♡ And God, he loves it.

♡ He would never dream of taming you, of trying to control you. The wildness is what he yearns for, it keeps him alive.

♡ He'd never try to tame you. Except when you're beneath him. That, is a different story entirely.

♡ He knows how powerful you are. How smart, how driven, how dedicated- he tells you every day. This only makes it that much more enjoyable to see you fall apart the way you do for him.

♡ “Go ahead honey, let go for me.” He'd whisper, moving you up and down against his hips with strong hands.

♡ He loves relieving you. He sees you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders every day, nothing brings him more pride than affording you this release.

♡ Getting his dick wet is just a happy bonus.

Fred: Nobody

♡ “I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave”

♡Fred is mischievous, reckless, impulsive. He's a hazard, a concern, a risk. And he's content being all these things. Hell, he takes pride in the labels stuck to him by his parents, professors, and other authorities.

♡ He is certain that he will never meet anyone who can match his energy the way George does, until he meets you.

♡ You, a firecracker. You, who speaks without thinking. You, who casts jinxes like you were born to do it, faster than even he can.

♡ The first time he sees you inflate someone's ears he is in love. Absolutely head over heels heart eyes.

♡ He knew he had to have you right then. And have you he did.

♡ As recklessly as the two of you did everything else, you did this. But this was not haphazard, like the assignments you both so often failed to turn in. This was precise and messy, gentle and harsh, satisfying and yet always leaving a need for more.

♡ His lips crashed into yours and fireworks erupted in your belly. He shoved you against the wall and you hooked your fingers through his belt loops, grinning wide into the kiss.

♡ “You're gonna be the end of me, baby” He'd whisper against your lips. “Not today,” You'd reply, leaning in to kiss him again. He is more than happy to oblige you.

George: Damage gets Done

♡ Life is full of surprises, and George has always preferred to go with the flow. You have been his favorite surprise by far.

♡ He fell in love with you slowly. He fell in love with your smile first, and from the first time he saw it, it has been his personal mission to see it as many times as he possibly could.

♡ You fell into his life all at once, without any sort of warning. And as shocked as he was that he was so taken with someone, he knew at once that this was not something to be wasted. No, with you, he could not go with the flow. He could not just let things happen. By some stroke of luck you came into his life, he could not let you go.

♡ You fell into his life,

♡ And now you fall into his lap.

♡ He buries his head in your chest while you move up and down atop him, nails digging into his freckled shoulders as your head falls back.

♡ He looks away from his ceaseless kissing and sucking to look at you, taking in the art that was you falling apart for him. He'd grin at you, wrapping his arm around your waist to lean you back so he was on top once more.

♡ He'd bury himself inside of you with each thrust, nipping at all the skin he could reach before tracing a gentle hand over it, completely lost in you.

♡ Your hands tangle in his ever messy hair and he feels more purpose than he ever has before, right here, with you pressed against him.

Tom: NFWMB

♡ “Give your heart and soul to charity, because the rest of you, the best of you, honey- belongs to me.”

♡ It shouldn't come as a shock that Tom is a possessive man. You aren't just his partner, you are his. Period.

♡ “Nothing fucks with my baby” As cruel as he can be to you, he would never tolerate such behavior from anyone else.

♡ Someone glares at you, and they have been cursed. Someone dares to insult you, and it's the last words they ever say. And God help anyone who ever hurts you, really hurts you. For them, death would be merciful. You are his, and nothing hurts what belongs to him except for him.

♡ He fucks you with that same spirit of ownership. This is not necessarily a good thing- unless you're into that.

♡ He cares little for your pleasure. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things- you're his. You couldn't leave if you wanted to, not that you'd ever want to. Right?

♡ He fucks you to clear his head, to clear his body. You're a dumping ground, but you're his dumping ground. You're pathetic, but you're his. Perhaps that's enough. For him, that is enough. For you, it has to be.

Blaise: It Will Come Back

♡ From the first shred of kindness you showed Blaise he was weak for you. Rarely were people sweet to him the way you were without an ulterior motive. A taste of love was all he needed, and he was hooked.

♡ From then on, to pry him away from you was difficult. Though he kept his physical distance the majority of the time, his thoughts never left you.

♡ He had a reputation to keep up, but you knew what it all meant. The gifts, the letters, the looks- he was all yours. Once or twice you forgot to reply to him, and there he was the next day, outside your dormitory. Like a moth to a flame, he was, and is, drawn to you.

♡ He makes love to you like a ritual. You are a God and he is your humble servant, this is the only place in his life where he is anything but in charge. For you he is weak, he is malleable.

♡ His eyes hold a depth you drown in as he stares at you from just above, forehead pressed to yours.

♡ His thrusts are slow and steady, always sure and confident in what he's doing.

♡ His hands make quick work of you, again and again and again. He's amazingly controlled as he moves. He is locked in on you and every reaction you're giving him, completely unbothered by his own growing arousal.

♡ “It can't be unlearned, I've known the warmth of your doorway. Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you.”

Draco: To Be Alone

♡ “When you kill the lights and kiss my eyes, I feel like a person for a moment of my life.”

♡ Draco is a bad man. He knows this, his friends know this, everyone knows this.

♡ Except you. You don't seem to understand that the arms that hold you are soaked in unfathomable amounts of blood, that the eyes that stare into yours have seen unimaginable things.

♡ For this, among other things, Draco loves you.

♡ With you and you alone, he feels innocent. He feels pure for the first time since he was a child, bathed in your light and temporarily absolved of the guilt he carries.

♡ The voice that reminds him what he's done will always be there, but so will yours, always there to quiet it. He has found a sanctuary between your lips, a gift he never could have dreamt of, but something he no longer knows how to live without.

♡ Your bedroom is a sanctuary of sorts, for the same above reasons

♡ You put your mouth on him and the tension leaves him all at once. His knees nearly buckle, he has to seek support from the desk you have him backed up against.

♡ He has to stop his hips from bucking forward of their own accord, not wanting to startle you

♡ His hand moves down, stroking your cheek and tangling in your hair while you move up and down his length, staring up at him

♡ How could you ever expect him to last when you look at him like that?

[pxlvrxs]

CONTACT YOUR GOVERNMENT AND DEMAND A CEASEFIRE FOR PALESTINE

For Eu look up:

Voices in Europe for peace

For Usa look up:

US campaign for Palestinian rights

BOYCOTT FOR PALESTINE

FOA (Friends of Al-Aqsa) have organized a boycott in support of palestine. Here are the key companies to boycott:

HP (Hewlett Packard)

Coca-Cola

Israeli produce

We will be ending our call to boycott PUMA once the contract with IFA officially dissolves in 2024. Until then, we encourage you to continue boycotting PUMA products.

(Please help to spread the word by spreading this copypasta online and/or going to FOAs website where you can find posters to print out)

This is Hind Rajab. A six year old Palestinian girl who was murdered while receiving medical care in Gaza after an IDF tank attacked her family car. She spent 12 days in a destroyed ambulance.

If you are somehow still on the fence about this war, I am pleading with you to understand. It’s no longer a war, it never was. It’s not about defending Israelis or destroying Hamas. It’s about killing the Palestinian people. This is genocide.

From the river to the sea. 🇵🇸

[shealynn88]

2023 Writing Wrap Up

Thanks to @citrusses for the tag, it's always fun to reflect on what I've done! Tagging @all-or-nothing-baby, @makeitp1nk, @phdmama and @apricitydays-lazynights

I actually wrote about half of these stories this year, but this is what I posted this year. I spent a good month digging out and wrapping up some WIPs that had been hanging around. They're at the bottom, since most of them are not HP related.

If you are a Drarry fan and want my best of the year, let me suggest my kinktober oviposition offering:

A Charitable Endeavour (Harry Potter|Drarry)(E) (2,322 words)

If you like rarepairs, I would suggest these two, after paying close attention to tags:

Never Too Much (Harry Potter|Harry/Remus)(E) (3,432 words)

A Gift of Forbidden Fruit (Harry Potter|Hermione/Bill,Hermione/Ron)(E) (6,805 words)

For all 29 stories I posted to ao3 this year, keep going!

Beginning of 2023:

For Everything, a Season (Harry Potter|Drarry) (1,342 words)

A Christmas fic for the Drarry Microfic exchange of 2022 which, just like the one for 2023, started out being something very different, and ended up this - a short snippet of an older, married Drarry, reflecting and enjoying their life.

The Old is New Again (Harry Potter|Drarry) (1,471 words)

I wanted to do my own take on trans!Draco, and this became Calla, and honestly? I love her.

Kinktober was so much fun. I really wanted to challenge myself with these, and I continue to be challenged with more of these stories that'll go out in 2024. It's been so much fun, especially writing kinks I don't share, since I have to really dig into characters and why the kinks appeal to them.

dare to dream it, dare to be it (Harry Potter|Harry/Sirius/Remus) (1,886 words)

I loved writing this boot worship kink story, I loved finding the ways that it's important to both Harry and Sirius, and exploring Harry's hopes and insecurities when it came to Remus.

Never Too Much (Harry Potter|Harry/Remus) (3,432 words)

This watersports story is so wholesome, honestly. It's E rated, but it's an established relationship, and it's very much about trust and vulnerability, and I love that aspect of exploring kinks like this, that can involve judgement.

Unlocked (Harry Potter|Drarry; Harry/Sirius) (1,205 words)

This collar kink story was one of the most fun ideas I had. I wasn't able to flesh it out as much as I wanted to, but I'm definitely hoping to revisit this magical collar idea in the future. There's so much potential!

A Charitable Endeavour (Harry Potter|Drarry) (2,322 words)

Ovipostion! And one of the few Drarry fics I wrote for Kinktober. I actually really love these versions of Draco and Harry - Draco, an insatiable Veela, Harry, who is happy to attempt to satiate... and Luna, who needs some help with some dragon eggs. I actually have a few more fics planned in this verse, but we'll see if I get to them. So much filth to write, so little time.

A Gift of Forbidden Fruit (Harry Potter|Hermione/Bill,Hermione/Ron) (6,805 words)

The one I knew wouldn't hit, but I had to write it anyhow. It has infidelity, it has body worship, it has imperfect people trying to do their best for the people they love. It burrowed into my head and wouldn't let go, and I'm proud to have written it.

I started posting microfics to ao3 this year, including some older ones that I'd only posted on tumblr.

Your Spark to My Tinder (Harry Potter|Drarry) (717 words)

This was actually a ficlet I wrote on tumblr for @phdmama, and later posted to ao3. Short and sweet antagonistic Drarry.

The Nature of Kindness (Harry Potter|Drarry) (50 words)

A painful look at how Draco sees himself.

Where the Sea Takes Us (Harry Potter|Drarry) (651 words)

A fun merman!Draco fic.

Magnolia (Harry Potter|Drarry) (127 words)

A Hanahaki ficlet with an ambiguous ending.

A Lesson in Snogging (Harry Potter|Drarry) (129 words)

Smokin' but T rated Drarry.

Keep on Driving (Harry Potter|Drarry) (150 words)

Draco is newly divorced, Harry offers to give him a ride. Possibilities.

Might Seduce Your Dad Type (Harry Potter|Drarry/Sirius) (250 words)

This is 3 microfics, and I'm actually incredibly proud of it. It starts out Drarry, then ends up with them and Sirius. And it's a pretty solid little story in 250 words.

And the Christmas wrap up for the year!

This Time Next Year (Harry Potter|Drarry) (3,574 words)

An incomplete Christmas fic I'd meant to finish before Christmas but got behind on posting. Spoiler alert, it's actually a prequel to last year's microfic exchange, the first fic in this list.

The Heart of Our Home (Harry Potter|Drarry) (2,592 words)

This year's Drarry microfic exchange fic! Cottagecore with a scant spoonful of angst, and a sprinkle of sentient house fun.

Another challenge, which I set for myself, was to post stories that had sat around in my WIPs for a long time. I generally needed to add something, but in most cases I found that, even if I'd meant it to be a lot more, they stood alone as they were, or with some brief connections between scenes. I learned a lot from this effort.

Another Beginning (Teen Wolf (TV)|Deaton/Sheriff Stilinski) (3,168 words)

This was such a healing story for me to write and to put into the world. These two characters don't really get a lot of attention, especially in a romantic way, but I think they both have a really intense loyalty to the pack that makes them uniquely suited to one another, and I was really glad to be able to get this out so other people could enjoy it.

Our Relentless Dreaming (Dragaera - Steven Brust|Vlad/Morrolan) (4,431 words)

I'd had this one partially finished for quite a while, and I'd planned to tailor it for Yuletide and gift it. That...didn't work out very well, since I ended up being on the Yuletide naughty list, but I was still able to tweak it and gift it, and enjoy having it out there and off my WIPs list. It got a hearteningly beautiful reception, and I appreciated that so much.

Picked Clean (Harry Potter|Draco & Harry) (989 words)

I never entirely knew where I wanted this to go, but I wanted it to be a darker look at Draco, especially, after the war. I wanted to take both Harry and Draco in a new direction, to understand them in a different way, and I really enjoyed exploring this take.

The Taste of You Lingers on my Tongue (Hannibal (TV)|Will/Hannibal) (627 words)

A dark but poignant first kiss vignette.

I Know the Pieces Fit (Teen Wolf (TV)|Sterek) (2,700 words)

I held onto this so long. There was one little section that I couldn't get to 'feel' right, but seeing as how this is one of the most popular things I posted this year...I think it's safe to say, it was the right time to release this post-series fic to the world.

Say Anything (Supernatural (TV 2005|Wincest)) (100 words)

A drabble featuring Jess.

Stalemate (Teen Wolf (TV)|pre-Sterek) (395 words)

I started a S1 rewatch, and started doing episode tags and inserts. This was the first one, from ep 1, where Stiles comes across Derek in the grocery store.

Skewed Normal (Teen Wolf (TV)|pre-Sterek) (378 words)

This was from the rewatch, S2, a little snippet exploring Derek's view of the world, and him protecting Stiles.

I Want to Give You the World, I Want to Give You Yourself (Supernatural (TV 2005)|Jody/Donna) (776 words)

I love Jody and Donna, and I loved exploring their relationship, how Jody would navigate it and what she would get out of it.

Between a Wolf and a Full Moon (Teen Wolf (TV)|Sterek) (2,832 words)

Xenophilic E rated fic with a lot of heart. I am a big fan of writing unhinged but wholesome fic.

Dating (Supernatural (TV 2005)|Destiel) (100 words)

A drabble where Sam accuses Dean of dating Cas.

In Grief, We're the Same (Teen Wolf (TV)|Dargent) (2,057 words)

This sat in my drafts because of a transition issue...I added a sentence and let 'er rip, and I like it a lot. It's a story of grief, of similarities, of people coming together in hard times, in hard ways, in the ways that work. It's about the slow process of working through guilt and grief, and how it's just a little easier with someone who understands.

Show Me What You Got (Supernatural (TV 2005)|Wincest) (871 words)

Some short Wincest filth that I wrapped up a year later with one final scene.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

This is probably going to be a little sacrilegious but something that I'm finding is that when I play IS3, I am actually enjoying myself a lot. Honestly, I'm enjoying myself a lot more than I was playing IS2. This isn't to say that IS3 is perfect or anything, or even than IS2 is bad, but I find that I'm enjoying my time in IS3 just a lot more.

Now keep in mind I'm not really a hard mode grinder by any means. I didn't enjoy the difficulty mechanics in IS1 very much, and their return in IS2 really did not inspire me with much desire to tackle IS2 on a harder difficulty. IS3's difficulty is a bit...infamous for being a bit much, and honestly I'm kind of content with just poking my toes into the water in the future if I feel I want to. If you asked me to do A15 Izumik or die, I think i'd take the gun personally.

The point here is that I'm taking both of these themes from their base standpoint, and that means on the surface level that IS3 is just going to be easier. Two of IS3's unique squads (Mind Over Matter and People-Oriented) not only feel stronger than any squad in IS2, but they're dramatically more interesting to play. You also start off with significantly higher buffs in IS3 over IS2. You have stronger statistical buffs, you have more resources, you have the frankly crazy perfect clear about 8 Max HP buff, and the new node types, all of which are good.

I don't really want to come in from the difficulty angle, although it is maybe unavoidable that more runs in IS3 for me feel like they actually finish compared to IS2. This is partly due to difficulty and partly do to factors that extend into the design of stages themselves.

I will summarize my thoughts here and maybe make a point later on to elaborate them in a different post

-IS3 gives you more opportunities to develop runs, mostly through the use of keys -Keys fuck, and honestly I will probably enjoy IS4 even more given it uses keys in a much cooler way. Having more control over a run feels really nice -Map design in IS3 is a LOT better than in IS2. A lot of IS2's map design is based on IS1, which I'm going to be brave and say is by and large total shit, and IS2 relies a LOT on what are basically pranks -Seriously, fuck the Lost Colossus stage in IS2. -This makes it so its a lot easier to get a sense of flow in IS3. You can look at a stage in IS3, and know how to reasonable tackle it. This isn't consistently true in IS2. Shit in IS2 just fucking, moves. -Also the fact that IS2 kept the absolutely awful Bear and Duck stages where you just contend with increasing numbers of bullshit, and decided to make one version with fucking Sandbeasts makes me really ticked off. These stages are so much better in IS3 -Corrosion is a significantly better mechanic than Sanity. I am not a Sanity defender and I think it says something that I consider Scarlet Singers so dangerous you have to always account for them -Granted Sea Skimmers also suck dick, Low-Altitude Hovering my beloathed -Paranoia Illusion is a much fairer boss than Lucian, Blood Diamond. I feel like if IS2 had an A15 people would legit hate this boss. You're generally priced into trying to kill him on the first pass or develop enough life to deal with leaks from the defender side. It's never worth actually developing that side if he breaks the roadblocks. -I also like Ishar'mla more than Troupe Mouthpiece. Mouthpiece's stage has a really baller design, but it is maybe the ending out of the 8 in the first two IS that requires the most specific set of units. -Also unlocking Ishar'mla is generally a bit easier than Mouthpiece and doesn't require you giving up a boss relic and THEN hitting a random event

But like, IS3 isn't perfect. It has its bad stages and frankly really annoying bullshit (Territorial Tendencies and Ubi bona somnia are quite bad as Emergency Operations). The Light mechanic is annoyingly useless and not even really fun to interact with. Izumik is uh

well frankly I kind of stopping wanting to do it that entire thing is beans

and the Resourceful Squad exists to remind me that I am not Fate's Favorite Child, I will roll nat 1s on my D12s

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #322: Caeneus (Rider)

today on Grailfinders, we’re making Caeneus (Rider), and if you’re wondering why I’m being extra polite and using his proper name it’s because I’m pretty sure if he found out I’ve made him a Beast Master Ranger he might just kill me, so I’m trying to play it safe. he’s also a Fathomless Warlock too, that way we have both ends of the sea serpent covered. no I’m not stealing this from FF14, hush.

anyway, check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

next up: stop; hammer time

Ancestry & Background

not too much is changing here, they’re still a Variant Human with our weird variant Noble background, so that’s proficiency in Athletics as well as History and Intimidation, plus the Gift of the Metallic Dragon for a bonus to Wisdom (on top of your usual Dexterity and Charisma bonuses), plus access to the spell Cure Wounds once a day for free, plus with whatever spell slots you have. it’s not quite invincibility, but if you’re still alive at the end it should be fine. the real reason we’re here though is for Protective Wings, letting you react to you (or an ally) getting hit, and adding your proficiency bonus to your AC for that attack, up to proficiency times a day. right now that’s +2 and twice a day, but it’ll grow as you do.

Ability Scores

my pc crashed the last time I did these, so now it’s a speed round. from highest to lowest: Charisma- you’re scary, we use it a lot early on. Dexterity. it’s AC. you are AC. Wisdom. you’re a security guard, keep shit secure. Constitution. you have indestructible skin, what do you think that does to a person’s HP total. Strength wish it could be higher but we don’t need it. Intelligence. you’re still a Summer servant, after all.

Class Levels

1. Warlock 1: starting off as a warlock gives you proficiency with Wisdom and Charisma saves, plus Religion and Nature.

also as a first level warlock, you get to make a pact with the god of the sea, a.k.a. the Fathomless. yaaaaay. reminder that most warlock pacts aren’t exactly willing.

anyway, you have the gift of the sea now! that gives you a swim speed, and you can breathe underwater. even better, you can summon a Tentacle of the Deep that acts as your serpent’s tail. I know it’s weird we’re getting the tail first, there’s a reason for that. still, you can summon it as a bonus action, and on that bonus action and each one after you can move it around and attack with it, slowing down whatever it hits in the process.

you also learn a little Pact Magic, spells that you can cast using your Charisma and using slots that recharge on short rests. Green-Flame Blade and Sword Burst are typical weapon-focused cantrips, and while Destroy Water isn’t technically something Caeneus uses, it feels in character. (also, pretty sure there’s a Create Or tacked on there somewhere, but I doubt he’d care.) finally, Armor of Agathys. I know we’ve been using it a lot this summer, but it’s a good spell and Caeneus is all about that toughness. even if you get hit, you’ll just lose temporary HP! it’s like you never got hit at all.

2. Warlock 2: second level warlocks get invocations, and like all weapon-based warlocks we’re saving one for level three, and just taking Armor of Shadows now for free Mage Armor, adding +3 to your AC at will. you don’t really have any ascensions with armor this time, so your unarmored AC is more important than ever.

you can also Cause Fear now, in case your usual intimidation checks aren’t good enough for someone.

3. Warlock 3: at third level you take up the Pact of the Blade plus the invocation Improved Pact Weapon, allowing you to summon just about any weapon as an action, with a +1 bonus to hits and damage, and it can be used to cast your warlock spells. normally we’d play it safe and grab a spear or trident, but neither of those are finesse- we can’t multiclass into monk or hexblade this build, so we need something that uses dexterity to attack with if we want that sweet sweet AC. thankfully the dragonlance campaigns have us covered thanks to their introduction of the Hoopak, our new favorite weapon. it even manages to be both a melee and ranged weapon, just like a harpoon!

your serpent can’t really bind people yet, but you can pretend it can with Hold Person paralyzing a humanoid who fails their wisdom save and giving you advantage to hit them, plus critical hits when you do in melee range!

4. Warlock 4: use your first ASI to grab the Resilient feat, to both add 1 to your Dexterity and make you proficient with those saves. you really don’t care about fireballs, for several reasons.

for your spells, you can splash people with Frostbite, or you can use Earthbind. it’s kind of like Hold Person, but worse! that’s why we got the other spell first.

5. Warlock 5: fifth level warlocks get third level spells like Spirit Shroud, which adds extra cold or radiant damage to your melee attacks and slows down anyone nearby. this will become that aura you’re surrounded in during your NP, but for now it’s just pretty nice.

if you’d rather spend that spell slot on burst damage instead, Eldritch Smite has your back! once a turn when you hit something, you can spend a warlock spell slot to deal an extra 4d8 force damage to whatever poor bastard you stabbed, and if it’s huge or smaller you can knock it prone for even more advantages!

6. Ranger 1: multiclassing into ranger gets you another skill proficiency, like Survival to help Gordy with the cooking. sometimes. you’re also a Deft Explorer, so you’re canny with Religion checks, adding a doubled proficiency bonus to them. against your will.

you also have a Favored Enemy, giving you advantage on checks to track and recall information about them. I’m not going to tell you what to pick for these since they’re technically supposed to be based on your own experiences in game, but in-character I’d definitely pick Celestials first, then whatever kind of humanoid Columbus is second. third is dealer’s choice.

7. Ranger 2: second level rangers get a Fighting Style, and unfortunately the Hoopak is a two-handed weapon, so not many of these options are super helpful. I’d pick Archery though, at least now your ranged and melee modes do the same amount of damage.

you also learn another set of Spells that you cast with Wisdom, plus a different set of spell slots that recharge on long rests. while they’re technically different stuff, you can use warlock slots for ranger spells and vice versa, with the exception of Eldritch Smites.

still, pick up Ensnaring Strike to actually use a harpoon like a harpoon and restrain enemies, and Longstrider for some more swimming speed. I don’t think Caeneus is actually supposed to be that fast, but both your NPs feature you zooming around in some way so now it’s stuck in my head.

8. Ranger 3: third level rangers can join any conclave they want, even if it’s the Beast Master one. this lets you summon a Primal Companion, where each time you summon it you can choose between an animal from the land, sea, or air, though obviously we’re mostly picking the sea creature. it acts as part of your turn, but it can’t do more than move, dodge, or react unless you spend your bonus action commanding it. you can summon it for free once a day, or by spending spell slots to revive them when they die. they’re proficient with all checks and saves, plus when they attack they grapple whatever they hit. very serpenty.

if you want another way to waste spell slots, you can use Primeval Awareness to sense extraplanar creatures within a mile of you. you don’t know where they are, but you know they’re there!

you also know Goodberry. I don’t think you’d be much of a healer, but your job is to keep everyone alive, so a 1 HP healing buff is pretty useful.

9. Ranger 4: use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for a higher AC and attack bonus.

10. Ranger 5: fifth level rangers get an Extra Attack each action for twice as much stabbing and throwing. you can also use second level spells now like Find Traps, allowing you to sense traps. again, you don’t know where the trap is, but you know it’s there!

yeah, you might not be that good at being a security officer.

11. Ranger 6: sixth level rangers get another round of Favored Enemy, and you’re now Roving, adding 5’ of movement to your walking speed and giving you a climbing speed to boot! now you don’t even need Da Vinci’s help! maybe take a slow fall belt though.

12. Ranger 7: seventh level beast masters give their pets Exceptional Training, allowing you to command it to dash, disengage, or help on its turn, plus its attacks are magical to boot. the disengaging is nice since summons are usually pretty squishy.

you can also Enhance Ability for a minute, giving yourself advantage on one kind of skill check, with bonuses for physical stats- boosting strength checks increases your carrying capacity, dexterity keeps you from taking minor fall damage, and constitution gives you temporary HP.

13. Ranger 8: speaking of constitution, use this ASI to bump it up for more HP. it’s retroactive too, so you get 13 more points right now. you also gain a Land’s Stride, so difficult terrain doesn’t slow you down now, and nonmagical plants can’t hurt you? sure? I mean, your skin’s tough.

14. Ranger 9: Ninth level rangers get third level spells like Water Walk. you’re so repulsed by the ocean you don’t even swim in it!

15. Ranger 10: Tenth level rangers are Tireless, letting you give yourself some temporary HP as an action Proficiency times a day. you also lose exhaustion on short rests as well as long ones! sometimes being a security guard means working long shifts.

you can also Hide in Plain Sight, mostly because neither option here was really in-character, but HiPS is bad enough you won’t be tempted to use it. you can spend a minute making camo for yourself, giving you a +10 bonus to stealth checks as long as you stay still next to a wall. thankfully stalking the enemy is more Kama’s job, so you don’t have to use this much.

16. Ranger 11: at eleventh level your sea serpent is overtaken by a Bestial Fury, allowing it to attack twice when you command it to. that might not sound like much, but if you mix in your regular two attacks that’s four attacks per round, which is on par with a 20th level fighter.

you can also cast Protection from Energy now, giving you or an ally resistance to one kind of elemental damage for up to an hour. it’s not quite evasion, but now fireballs really won’t do much to you.

17. Ranger 12: bump up your Constitution again for even more HP! yeah that’s it this level.

18. Ranger 13: thirteenth level rangers get fourth level spells, like our pick Guardian of Nature. with just a bonus action you can turn into either a Primal Beast or a Great Tree- the former makes you faster and better in every way with melee weapons, while the latter gives you more temporary HP and better constitution saves, plus you make ranged and magical attacks with advantage, and you churn up the water nearby, turning it into difficult terrain.

19. Ranger 14: at level fourteen you get one last round of Favored Enemy, so make it count, and you can Vanish as a bonus action, as well as become untraceable to anyone not using magic. that’s actually really useful for us this time- dragging a big sea serpent around isn’t the stealthiest way to move.

20. Ranger 15: at level fifteen, you can learn Stoneskin, granting you and your serpent resistance to nonmagical physical damage. “but wait!” I hear you cry, “Stoneskin only targets one creature!” to that, I say, “yeah I was getting to that calm down.” you can target two creatures at once thanks to your final beastmaster ability which gives you the chance to Share Spells with your serpent! as long as you’re casting a spell targeting yourself, you can also make it affect your beast companion if they’re within 30’ of you. that’s pretty good, but we’ll talk about how good it can be in the pros & cons section.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

doubling up on certain spells can be really good if you’re creative with it. your free mage armor casts don’t really matter for your beasts given their natural armor does the same thing (but protip to DMs: they just went through 15 levels of beast master ranger, let them have a lil somethin' somethin'), but when you look at spells like Armor of Agathys doubling the temporary HP and damage dealt with each hit, or Spirit Shroud to pump a ridiculous amount of damage while also eviscerating your enemy’s movement speed where you and your serpent’s auras align. also you could use one version of Guardian of Nature on each of you at the same time, which probably isn’t super useful but it is cool as hell.

warlocks and rangers both have spell slot issues, and they both kind of fix one another? rangers don’t have a lot of spell slots in total for what they try to do, and warlock’s weird “always one kind of slot” thing makes casting low-level spells feel bad, but together they kind of mesh well.

you still have some pretty thick skin, and while we don’t get to the insane heights of your past self, your baseline comes with more health and more ways to shield or heal yourself to make up for it.

Cons:

your bonus action is split between your serpent tail, your serpent, and a bunch of ranger spells, so it can be hard to fight effectively. seriously we mostly went with the Fathomless warlock for the swimming, you could go hexblade again and not miss out on much for most of the build.

speaking of bad decisions, the doubled spells are cool, but are they 15 levels of beastmaster ranger cool? Honestly, not really. like, not only are you playing the weakest ranger subclass, but we also deliberately picked worse options for your features to stay in character. speaking of…

your spell list also suffers from this design choice- Caeneus isn’t big on magic, and their repertoire reflects that. like 100% serious right now, even if you feel the need to play this character 100% as we made it, for the love of god pick something other than Find Traps. that spell is the trap, don’t use it.

[fem-blade-adept]

Everything Wrong with the Bigotry Wizard Series (HP) Because This Transfem Feels Like Throwing Hands

(Yes, I grew up with this shit and I know these books back and forth. It’s knowledge I really wish I could forget, but if it’s in there, I might as well use it for a good cause. And that good cause is rallying people against its terribly bigoted and racist author. Also, know that this is a way of weeding out followers and potentially hateful people so I never have to see them again, so choose wisely if you intend to argue these points.)

House choices are split between Bravery, Ambition, Smart, and Everyone Else, which is Tracking and is very ineffective as a teaching system and also forcing kids into a lane. These houses compete every year for who’s better at what? Following orders? Being obedient? Which is a system HIGHLY susceptible to bias and imbalanced competition considering Snape’s unfair treatment of every house that isn’t his and the overwhelmingly unfair come-from-behind victory the Hero house had at the end of their first year because they what? Saved the world?! What kind of precedent are you setting by saying you can win in school by being a hero when there is a house based on bravery? Favoritism anyone?

No one in an entire castle has ever questioned their gender or discovered their sexual orientation? Not the twins? Or Hermione? Or Tonks? Wild. (And no, I do not count JK’s off-the-cuff tweets “clarifying lore”. If it was actually true, you would fully and unabashedly address it in the books, ya bigot.)

Ah yes, rumors of a haunted house out in a village on school grounds when actual fucking ghosts wander the halls of the school, a poltergeist is constantly causing mayhem, a sad girl haunts the girls bathroom, and a LIVE FUCKING BASILISK SITS IN THE SEWAGE SYSTEM. And those sounds in the Shrieking Shack were the product of a kid sent there because he was dealing with lycanthropy. Yeah, sounds like a healthy way to deal with a kid with a physical disability…

Wizards in EVERY OTHER part of fantasy are thousands of years ahead of everyone else. Yudala in Critical Role was investigating pocket planes, the Astral Sea, and OTHER WIZARDS THAT WERE HUNDREDS OF YEARS AHEAD OF SOCIETY ALREADY. Essek was attempting to understand his own society’s god and had cracked the secrets behind TIME AND GRAVITY MAGIC. Caleb Widogast was a transmutation master and had, not only helped Essek discover the secrets of time travel, but had the ability to alter LIFE AND DEATH. Ayda Aguefort’s library was an educational beacon in a pirate town where people refused to learn to read and was creating new spells for herself and her friends. HP wizards live like they just discovered indoor plumbing and don’t know how cars work even though they already have time travel down. WHAT?! The MOST inconsistent.

Magic system. Everyone has unlimited free access to just three phrases that can control, torture, or kill people?!? And they teach that? To students???? in MIDDLE SCHOOL?!?! WHERE THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE SORTED INTO A HOUSE BRANDED AS AMBITIOUS?!?!!! Bud, D&D spells are CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES. And not only that, but spells like Power Word: Kill and True Resurrection are both 9th level spells and require not only the physical knowledge of the spell, but YEARS, even DECADES of practice for normal people to learn. Even Dominate Person is 5th level and a solid overwhelming majority of the population doesn’t even know the Friends cantrip. And most people aren’t adventuring murder hobos that go on adventures for months on end to level up super fast to get to 17th level to learn 9th level spells mechanically.

Voldemort would get fucking merked by a full line of people with firearms. Dude couldn’t even take over a school of middle schoolers without working at it for 6 years.

Did they not have therapists in Hogwarts? Pretty sure everyone at that school could have used a trained therapist or a guidance counselor with a degree.

We make jokes, but they did not have access to contraceptives. And they had High Schoolers in a giant think tank sleeping in the SAME TOWER. If you think there weren’t unplanned pregnancies in that giant bowl of hormones, you’re crazy.

The hero and his friends standing up for the giant on the school grounds? Hermione being the only one standing up for the house elves? Common courtesy isn’t a heroic trait. That’s why it’s called COMMON courtesy. And why include house elves anyway? Slavery and writing house elves as “wanting to be enslaved” IS A SHITTY MESSAGE TO PUT OUT INTO THE WORLD.

The very obvious racist naming scheme JK shamelessly put forward: Kingsley Shacklebolt (Black Character), Cho Chang (Asian Character), Parvati and Padma Patil (Middle Eastern Characters), Dean Thomas (Black Character), Seamus Finnegan (Irish Character), Fleur Delacour (French Character), and more.

Lycanthropy was confirmed by JK herself to be about HIV/AIDS, which makes how they treated Remus Lupin (another terrible name) even worse.

Rita Skeeter was a character she created to resemble and, as such, harmfully and falsely stereotype and misrepresent transpeople and how she perceives them to be. She makes an active point to describe her as unattractive, having manly features, and in the fashion similar to that of a drag queen. She also spares no expense describing her as duplicitous, dishonest, and having a habit of “changing her body to spy on children”. Even her name insinuates she’s a mosquito. And that’s not even mentioning her actual trans character in the video game, Sirona Ryan. Sir(obvious) ona(woman in Japanese). You named her Sir Woman Ryan. You fucking cunts.

Goblins. Here we go. One of the most obvious problems. Described in book as being greedy, short, intelligent, hook-nosed debt collectors that wear special hats and run all of the banks and speak their own language. And as of the most recent video game, apparently also steal children. Sounds like an awfully racist and stereotypical description of what the hateful side of the world perceives Jews to be.

Even the heroes are perpetually being shallow, reductive, and downright awful people on a regular basis. Basing people on looks, degrading a female character for standing up for mistreated people, judging people based on how quirky, different, or off normal they are. All things that really fall in basic decency if you really think about it.

Attempting a redemption arc for the Dursleys, the Malfoys, and Snape, all parties being aggressively and shamelessly abusive characters for YEARS. Dursleys sticking the MC in a closet to live, refusing him food, shutting him in from the outside world, and generally just treating him with a truly overwhelming amount of disdain IS CHILD ABUSE. Attempting to bring any measure of redemption to their relationship after 14 years of that is irreproachable and irresponsible. Snape berates, abuses, and treats the MC like shit for years because he loves the MC’s dead mother, kills one of the MC’s main mentors, and then when the MC finds all of that out, he names his kid after the guy? Nice message, bruh. And I really shouldn’t have to explain the Malfoys.

The truly insane amount of coincidences and favoritism that stems from a kid’s relatives, pure dumb fucking luck, and a life experience that just happened by chance is fucking uncanny. The world thinks its story is about love and friendship and some shit, but continues to reinforce the ideal that this kid is special because of his mother and father and all of the things that he is capable of to defend against his mortal enemy stems from that. He corrodes Quirrell’s face, he blocks a death spell with a spiritual aura that summons the ghosts of the dead, he summons a patronus that was his dad’s, the wand he picks up from the store is just NATURALLY bitter rivals with his enemy’s, a magical cup just so HAPPENS to ignore its primary function ONE FUCKING TIME to allow for the MC, A PROPHECY mentions this fucking kid and the book even tries to bring in the forcibly branded Kicked Dog™ character that none of us gave a second thought to.

Quidditch is a truly stupid fucking sport. Who wrote the rules? Let me get this correct. Seven players on each team play on a field on brooms where two ANIMATED STEEL BALLS THAT BY THEMSELVES COULD SHATTER BONE AND CAUSE DEEPLY TRAUMATIC INJURY ACTIVELY HUNT PLAYERS while people play a rousing game of handball only two have one player on each team, completely separate from everyone else, are playing the world’s most difficult game of I Spy with a ball that truly would be the hardest thing in the world to see, no matter the lighting, and if they do somehow manage to catch this sentient ball that could really just leave if it wanted to, it counts for like 9x the usual points, usually rendering the entire rest of the game invalid or forcing the other team to be so far ahead that it doesn’t even matter. Nightmarish.

Harry pretending to dose Ron’s drink to improve his performance puts forward a terrible message of “as long as it’s to help, it’s ok to dose someone’s drink with suspicious liquid”. Even if he didn’t do it, you gotta understand how that looks, right?

The ethics of love potions in society in general are incredibly loose in the books for what they should be (especially considering a student actually dosed cupcakes with them at either age 14 or 15? Either way, it’s INCREDIBLY disgusting) and the fact that they actually taught love potions to a group of middle to high schoolers and put the ability to bypass consent in their hormonal claws should go incredibly high on the shelf with death spells, torture spells, and absolute control “bend your will to my own” spells and that entire shelf should be locked away in a safe and never touched.

You’re not supposed to go into the Forbidden Forest except on the occasion that we send you as 11-year-olds in there as punishment for wrongdoing.

There’s just a tree on the grounds that can fucking kill people. And one of our founders left a snake that can petrify and poison people in the pipes. We’re also going to let hell creatures that feed on the misery and woe of the living roam the school grounds for a year hunting a prisoner that really didn’t do anything. We’re also going to bring back a tournament people have died in so that three seventeen-year-olds and a fourteen year old can compete.

If there is any more things I missed, please don’t hesitate to add them in the reblogs. I really would like to know how much more problematic behavior and how many truly distasteful writing choices I’m missing in this extensive list.

[kierancampire]

I just played/beat Sea of Stars! I will start with non-spoiler stuff

So over all I really liked the game! I admit I found it slow and thus took it slow until the third main town/area you go to (not counting where you start), but yeah, once it reached that point I couldn't put the game down! I was playing it at every chance I got! I thought the game was beautiful, I really liked the music, characters, story, and there were so many moments throughout the game that I had my mind blown or just otherwise freaked out! Although if I do have a mild complaint, which I admit this is an odd one for me especially, the game was kinda easy? Like, as you can see I beat it without "dying", I had characters pass out but never a full party death, and although I admittedly has a few close calls, yeah, I never truly died. There are so many campfires, you can always go back to them between fights, you have a few healing options, death was never a huge concern! But yeah, the game is beautiful, the combat is super fun and engaging, there was absolutely awesome enemy design, I just loved the experience so much!

Now onto the spoiler stuff, I'll start from least to most spoilery:

So I have seen people complain about getting the true ending, but I really didn't find it that bad? Like I think I had to use a guide to get 10 or less conches and that was it? I found doing the optional challenges and bosses were super fun! In fact, getting Resh'an's ultimate weapon was the closest I got to a game over on that boss!

I hated wheels. I sorta ended up cheesing everything with the mage and assassin, but it's so luck based and I have awful luck, so I would lose matches as the opponent kept getting constant EXP and such, while I would get nothing! Though weirdly the only opponent I beat on the first try was the Watchmaker haha

An aspect I disliked with combat was, so you build up the combo/ultimate meter and they top out, thus you need to use them to get the most out of it in a battle to rebuild it again. Also you gain MP by attacking normally, and create a thing called "live mana" by doing so. My issue with all of this is though, particularly with the bosses towards the end, I would have a plan in mind about how I wanted to do something, but then the boss would do a certain attack that I had to stop and would be forced to use certain characters/attacks, and as you have no idea how much HP a boss has, you could chance using your ultimate attack and defeating the boss before they heal or use a big attack, or you can break the attack and make the fight take longer when you coulda just killed them, but you have no idea. But beyond that too, sometimes enemies/bosses would do an attack chain that I had no way to break so I'd get screwed over by having no chance to break it, or I'd use Serai, then immediately after using her I'd need to use poison/her disorient ability and be screwed over. Or a boss/enemy would be spamming big attacks so often I ran out of MP and couldn't do anything to stop the attack! But yeah, for me it was kinda frustrating how I'd constantly want to use an ultimate or combo move, but I got stuck chipping away at the boss as they just kept using big attacks I had to break, and sometimes I'd get stuck doing the same attack sequence over and over as the boss kept doing the same thing again and again. There could be careful planning and strategy to how you attack, use live mana, MP, stuff like that. But other times the battle was completely based on the bosses attack patterns, and you'd get screwed over after using a character, mana or whatever because the boss did something you didn't expect

I did find the game a lil formulaic and it kinda forced me to take breaks, as the game is almost boss battle after boss battle, there will be like 10-15 normal encounters or a story break, and then it's another boss, I just found that mentally taxing at times

So I didn't cry (but I almost did) when Garl dies, but I kinda wish I did cry as I had no idea that he was just going to be dead for the rest of the game! I thought he'd be revived but I didn't expect it to go on for as long as it did! Which once you do eventually revive him, again, I almost cried as it had just been so long!

There were a few things I found a lil disappointing, like, One, Two, Three, and Four, they just sorta disappear at the end. Unless I am blanking on it I wondered where the good witch was as you never see/hear about her, at least not in memory, but it's Moyara who died before the game starts? Also in the "true" ending, you Erlina reunite with what I assume was Brugaves, but again, he also disappeared and their ending is sorta sad no matter what version you get, they still end up as deformed monsters when their feelings were sorta understandable, even if they agreed to an inexcusable thing

I also must admit I was a tad disappointed with what happened with Resh'an and Aerophul, like the fact that they both walk off, after everything Aerophul did, the fact that he just walks off, after what he did to Serai's people and the pain he inflicted on so many worlds, it just kinda sucked that he walked away

But yeah, it was a really beautiful and fun game, and over all I really did enjoy it! I ended up finishing on it at level 21, I didn't have to do any grinding minus a bit of gold grinding around the final third of the game, and it was just a really fun experience!

[mygeekcorner]

Fine I'll give you some more book asks since you acted all pathetic and reblogged it again and begged for more: 18, 25, 30, 42, 43, 50, 51, 55, 61, 67, 68, 80, 86, 99, 100, 102 (lol), 104, 117, 118, 124. Also you must answer them all in one sitting (no drafting) otherwise the curse of the procrastinating tumblrina will fall upon you

Hahahaha omg yes, brilliant, love it, love you

18 your least favorite book ever

I mean there have been a fair few bad choices I've picked up along the way. But that I actually finished?

I really do think it might have been Twilight. Granted I did go in expecting to hate it, but it still managed to be blander and worse than I thought it had any right to be for a series with such devoted following.

25 a book by your favourite author

I said this in another answer but I don't really have favourite authors like that anymore. There are many good authours out there and I will read a series or two but I don't go looking for their names like I used to. But so far I guess Erin Morgenstern is a 2 for 2 author with very beautiful prose in both The Night Circus and The Starless Sea

30 your favourite middle grade book

So I've already talked about Narnia, HP, and my love for Eva Ibbotson but that was pretty much what I read back then. So I'll just mention Which Witch? by Eva Ibbotson as well. I don't remember many details from it, but I do remember that I laughed my way through it, which is never a bad thing.

42 a book that made you want to scream by the time you got to the end

I remember A Storm of Swords by George RR Martin made me call you and scream at your answering machine lol

It was bad enough that the Red Wedding happened, but then right after we've seen the massacre the next chapter is from Aryas point of view again and it's her and Sandor reaching Riverrun and she is So Close to being with her family again, to being safe. But he is mean and harsh and won't let her run off and if I remember correctly he takes out his fucking axe and hits her in the head with it. And that's how the chapter ends???

I mean obviosuly he hit her with the blunt side and only enough to knock her out, but we have Just Seen how you can't trust anyone, and then she's with this big mean killing machine who she doesn't get along with, and he hits her with an axe??? Fuck man! Rude-ass bitch is what Martin is. But what else is new, you know?

43 a book that you have read more than three times

Harry Potter. And yes, I am well aware about how much we're all hating on Rowling now, please don't misunderstand me. But I had read the first 3 books over 30 times before the series finished. I used to re-read them about once a year. There is not a single book that even comes close to the amount of times I've read them. No, not even Narnia.

50 a book that made you cry a LOT

The Glass Lake by Maeve Binchy fucking wrecked me when I read it in high school. Like it is off to a pretty grim start with a mother leaving her family and them thinking she killed herself as is, but then it gets even More emotional. I remember this one chapter that just left me sitting there shellshocked for the better part of an hour, those of you who have read it will know when.

51 a book that you found underwhelming

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I know! I'm sorry! I love the movie and bbc miniseries as much as the next hopeless romantic but the book just kind of... didn't live up to it? Reading it you can kind of tell that it is her first novel and certain things are a bit rushed and clumsy. I still enjoyed it, but I was expecting to love it, you know?

55 a book with a satisfying ending

Chronicles of Narnia: The Last Battle. Them dying just felt right to me. Not that I wanted them to die-die of course, but the way that it happens? Yes. It all came full circle and I always found a certain comfort in the way he let them die and stay dead (to our world).

None of this rising from the dead bullshit. Just tell a good story and wrap it up like a neat little bodybag. Only cowards let protagonists rise from the dead. Looking at you JK, yes even when I first read the book.

61 your favourite horror novel

Ok so reminiscing on books I read as a kid has me thinking, one of the books that really had me Scared for real when reading was probably The Witches by Roald Dahl. And like yes, I know, it's a childrens book. But it's a Scary childrens book. And I was a Child. I just remember the horror as he found out he was stuck in a hotel infested with child-eating witches *shudder*

67 your favourite historical fiction novel

Rhett Butler's People by Donald McCaig, I really enjoyed Gone With The Wind, but this published fanfic/spinoff/prequel to that is just so good. It made me care for the characters in a whole new light all over again. And he always was my favourite out of all the original cast so it was nice to have some more ideas about what he had done before Scarlet threw that first vase at him.

68 your favourite piece of classic literature

Can I say Shakespeare here or did it have to be written as books-books? I'm deciding books-books is the premise so I guess I'm putting down Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. I don't like the ending, but after the book mentioned in #86 a bit further down it is better now. And I think it's the classic I've come back to the most so...

80 a book that reminds you of a loved one

The Demon's Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan that @hobbitsus lent me in high school was just a blast to read and I remember it fondly. And the whole story is just so very Her from when we were growing up which adds to the love.

86 a book with an insane plot twist

The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde. Yes again with me bringing in published fanfic of classic works but the whole premise is so good! There are people who can jump into books? There is someone who manages to jump into an original manuscript, thus changing all the copies of the book? There are detectives working on putting the original Jeyen Eyre back into order when this happens to her? And that is the reason the book ends the way it does??? Amazing.

I never quite liked the ending in Jane Eyre, there is this bit that just seems to come out of nowhere to me. In this book? It's because Detective Thursday was there doing whatever she wanted. This fanfic makes the original work better. But the way it twists to do so? 11/10

99 a book with a strong female protagonist

The Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon gives us all that Girl power Asexuality Forge your own path representation and I am here for it. Does the last book feel like the same series as the first book? Not even slightly. But the books are still a fun ride and I recommend anyone wanting to read about a farmer's daughter running away to join the army and then being actually good at her job give it a try.

100 your favourite gothic novel

ok so in like my mind Gothic should be Old. Old as balls. But I will also admit to Wanting to read books that old more than I Actually read them. So I will be cringe enough to just go with Interview With The Vampire by Anne Rice cause that's the book I loved in high school and the internet lets me classify it as goth even if it doesn't feel right

102 your favourite dark academia read

What even counts as Dark Academia though??? I feel like it should be an ancient and heavy-ass tome but most things I read are quite modern? Can I say The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley? Like the book took up a good part of my backpack when I read it in school, that should count for something right?

I liked the way it spanned three generations' worth of stories and all the mysticism going on. It was my first Arthurian fiction as well which felt very Big and Impressive at the time.

104 a fluffy, sweet read

A Hundred Pieces Of Me by Lucy Dillon was a really comforting and nice read that I liked way more than I thought I would when it comes to chick lit. I think of that book whenever I try to pick out a vase now lol

117 your favourite anthology

So do we count fairy tales here or no? Cause I kind of want to say Bland Tomtar Och Troll which is that swedish collection of childrens stories that had the most exquisite art in it and I was especially obsessed with the story about the mermaid Akmea who saved the beautiful sailor, or the one with the kindly white lion who showed up in someones yard.

Sidenote: I went through these old books to find the pictures since google was no help and one has an inscription wishing me a happy 4th birthday, and one has me trying to write my name and it is the most stiltedly awkward penmanship ever and my gosh that's the cutest thing 🥺

118 your favourite short story collection

Hoo.. I don't read a lot of those but when I was in high school they would give out little paperbacks called "Färdlektyr" with assorted short stories and poems and I always looked forward to that semester's edition, does that count?

124 the book you’re currently reading

I started on The Forest Of Stars by Heather Kassner a while back, and realised that the first 5 chapters do not live up to my hopes and so have not read anything since I had to put it down at the end of a lunch break OTL

These were a lot to do in one sitting! I did take a short break for dinner, but otherwise I did do it all in one go, please be happy? :*

[dark-elf-writes]

Siren Naruto that meets Kisame and they both do the Sup nod before freezing.

Kakashi and Genma being rly unsure if they can feed Naruto sea food because siren+fish=cannibalism? But when they try it Naruto’s eyes go huge and just when they think he’s going to cry he grabs a crab leg off a plate bites right through the shell. That day he is the most settled they’ve seen him.

The thought of Naruto going for a “quick swim” then coming back out three hours later with a legendary blade, a treasure chest, and a pretty rock is hilarious.

Kurama being lowkey disgusted that he, the greatest of the foxes, is stuck in a glorified fish. He never wanted to know what the bottom of the sea looked like but apparently that doesn’t matter. He is very huffy for quite a while but admittedly fond of how his jinchuriki at least shakes the water off himself like a fox.

Naruto going through a phase where he thinks his whiskers are like a catfish not the giant demon fox in his gut. He refuses to listen to anyone that says otherwise.

Naruto is delighted with both translations of his name. To him fishcake and maelstrom are equally respectable.

Baby naruto with the scariest mfing cry ever. It’s just so pretty and haunting and no fucking thank you at 3am. Alternatively, his laugh is a very nice sound (like a HP phoenix trill) and calms down whoever hears it. Maybe it legitimately helps ease some trauma. On an unrelated note, Kakashi gets something that could be vaguely considered therapy adjacent for the first time in his entire existence.

Naruto seeing Kisame and just “Fish Friend” and both Genma and Kakashi age like twenty years because their kid just adopted a missing nin and what the fuck are they supposed to do now.

The image of Kakashi and Genma arguing about whether Naruto eating fish is cannibalism and Kakashi eventually just kinda shrugs like “Fish eat fish!” For years Genma uses that to end every argument because it’s the stupidest fucking thing he’s ever heard but also true so.

Little Naruto, soaking wet, holding a jar full of a chemical mixture that probably classifies as a bomb: I founded this :D

SCREAMING Naruto loudly proclaiming himself to be a catfish and when someone snorts like “okay fox demon” he gets the child equivalent of Big Mad all pouting cheeks and stomping feet as he says “Well if I was a fox why is my name Fishcake huh???” And tbh no one can argue with that logic. (Not that they particularly want to as Genma is glaring and chewing on his senbon in a way that very much implies they are about to become target practice and god only knows where Kakashi is currently hunting them from.)

Wait wait sobbing Naruto seeing/feeling that Kakashi is sad and humming to him or something and it’s like all the tension melts out of Kakashi’s shoulders and the guilt that threatens to crush him most days becomes almost bearable. On days that Kakashi is particularly broody Genma instigates a tickle fight with Naruto just to get the kid cackling and to make Kakashi feel better before tossing a hyper fish child at him to deal with. Just Naruto being essentially an antidepressant on two legs.

[honeybeejam]

okay, so i used to write fics quite a while ago, and i’m interested in the idea of starting again. i’m not in any way a fan of j* r******g - however, a lot of the characters in the harry potter series get my thoughts rolling.

i was curious if anyone would be interested in reading fic of mine? there will be a poll at the end of the post for those who are interested in voting.

in the meantime, here’s a sample of my writing:

“ i want to believe that you are my moon. you are the pulsing heart of emotion that pulls the water in the seas. you are the beauty, and you are the mystery of only seeing one side. i can only lift myself from bed when i know you’ve spent the night being happy. the moon never battles with the sun, and i could never be anything but in love with you. the moment i saw you i knew you would make my universe complete. no matter if you were the moon or the stars, you’d still be a part of my galaxy. and i think that’s the beautiful part about falling in love.”

here’s the poll, loves!

This would consist of x reader, headcanons, and really anything else. All of the Slytherin boys, plus several of the others.

[olive-riggzey]

Anyways in other news, I finally beat the true ending of Sea of Stars so I started a New Game+, which is so far extremely hilarious because I got to keep all of my gear and I started at like level 23

So naturally I did the responsible thing and activated the "Artful Gambit" relic to make things a bit more challenging, but that ended up just making bosses go down in one or two hits because of the damage bonus for timed hits. Also I don't think they were counting on me using the Reaper's Mercy ring combined with a Leeching Thorn ring (is that what it's called?) which effectively makes it so I can never be KO'd because I survive every hit with 1 HP and then fully heal after every attack, thanks to my max health being literally 9 HP.

I'm really hoping the difficulty spikes after the Wraith Island arc, since that's where I felt like it spiked in the regular file. I'm really curious to see what else this New Game+ thing has in store.

[thecreaturecodex]

Groac’h

Image © Jeanne Prigent, accessed at her ArtStation here

[It’s apparently walrus week on the World Tour, as we have a second tusked aquatic monster. The groac’h is a Breton fairy, sometimes kindly and sometimes wicked as fey so often are. Way back in the day, someone at Paizo (was it James Jacobs? Jason Buhlman?) said that hag was a category not tied to monster type (as seen in the night hag), and that fey hags were a definite possibility. That was not actualized in PF1e. So I figured that the groac’h would be a good candidate for a fey hag.]

Groac’h CR 9 CN Fey This thin humanoid looks like an old woman, with long clawed fingers and long webbed toes. Two tusks like those of a walrus grow from her mouth.

Hags are products of the Material Plane, but due to their magic powers and cruel curiosity may end up on other planes. A cadre of sea hags moved to the First World in order to access the strange magic and ebullient life force found there. Over time, some of these hags changed into the groac’h. Groac’h are not as wicked as other hags are, but are just as capricious. They are most interested in breaking up power structures, from kingdoms to families, and may do so with gifts, guile or magical force. They are obsessed with politeness, and minding etiquette may mean the difference between leaving a groac’h’s company with magical gifts, and never leaving.

A groac’h does not like to fight fair, and tries to ensure that any combat she enters is of her own volition. Most groac’hs carry at least one net, sometimes a magical one, and catch victims in it. While the captive struggles to break free, the groac’h uses her magic on them—transforming an entangled victim into a fish or frog is a popular tactic. Although groac’hs are not as hideous to look upon as a sea hag, they can channel the same evil eye curse to disable their enemies. Groac’hs rarely fight to the death; if a battle is turning against them, they transform into a faster shape or create a fog cloud to hinder pursuit.

Most groac’hs are somewhat vain, and spend more time in shapeshifted form than their natural appearance. Beautiful maidens, majestic swans and sleek dolphins are popular forms to take. They collect vast amounts of treasure, but are free about giving away or trading it to further their goals or enhance their prestige. They eat mostly seafood—captives transformed into fish are often served to guests as a power play. A groac’h is still hag enough to join a coven, but usually their covens are of three groac’hs. A coven with at least one groac’h member adds the following spell-like abilities to their coven magic: fluid form, freezing sphere, summon monster VI (animals with a swim speed or elementals with the water subtype only).

Groac’h              CR 9 XP 6,400 CN Medium fey (aquatic, extraplanar, shapechanger) Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, mistsight, Perception +13 Defense AC 23, touch 17, flat-footed 15 (+6 Dex, +1 dodge, +5 natural) hp 112 (15d6+60) Fort +9, Ref +15, Will +11 DR 10/cold iron; SR 20 Defensive Abilities evasion Offense Speed 30 ft., swim 50 ft. Melee 2 claws +15 (1d6+3), bite +15 (2d4+3/x4) Ranged masterwork net +16 (entangle) Special Attacks augmented critical, evil eye, spell captive Spell-like Abilities CL 12th, concentration +16 (+20 casting defensively) At will—fog cloud, hydraulic torrent, ray of enfeeblement (DC 15) 3/day—bestow curse (DC 17), quickened blur, control water, suggestion (DC 17) 1/day— baleful polymorph (DC 19), dominate person (DC 19), geyser (DC 19) Statistics Str 16, Dex 23, Con 18, Int 15, Wis 10, Cha 19 Base Atk +7; CMB +13; CMD 30 Feats Agile Maneuvers, Combat Casting, Deceitful, Defensive Combat Training, Dodge, Exotic Weapon Proficiency (net) (B), Iron Will, Quicken SLA (blur), Weapon Finesse Skills Acrobatics +19, Bluff +21, Climb +16, Diplomacy +17, Disguise +21, Intimidate +17, Knowledge (local, nature) +15, Perception +13, Sense Motive +13, Stealth +19, Swim +24 Languages Aquan, Common, Sylvan SQ amphibious, change shape (animal or humanoid, polymorph) Ecology Environment any coastal and underground (First World) Organization solitary or coven (1-3 mixed hags) Treasure double standard (masterwork net, other treasure) Special Abilities Augmented Critical (Ex) A groac’h’s bite attack deals x4 damage on a successful critical hit. Evil Eye (Su) Three times per day, a groac’h can cast her dire gaze upon any single creature within 30 feet. The target must succeed on a DC 21 Will save or be staggered as strange nebulous distress and a gnawing sense of impending doom plagues the victim. If a groac’h uses her evil eye on someone already afflicted by this curse, the victim must make a DC 21 Fortitude save or be overwhelmed with fright and collapse into a comatose state for 3 days. Each day that passes, the comatose victim must make a DC 21 Fortitude save or perish. The evil eye is a mind influencing fear effect. The save DCs are Charisma-based. Evil Eye Curse: Gaze—failed save; save Will DC 21; frequency 1/day; effect staggered (or fall comatose if already under the effects of the evil eye). Spell Captive (Su) A creature entangled in a net thrown by a groac’h suffers a -2 penalty to all saving throws against her evil eye and spell-like abilities.

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Charau-Ka

CR 2

Chaotic Evil Small Humanoid

Inner Sea World Guide, pg. 308 (Pic from Adventure Path: Age of Ashes: Cult of Cinders, pg. 84)

Known across the continent of Garund and the surrounding lands by varying names--such as Man-Apes, Man-Eating Apes, or Demon Apes--the Charau-Ka were born ages ago in the deep jungle of the Mwangi Expanse through the power of Angazhan, the Ravenous King, the tyrannical Demon Lord who’s had a six-fingered hand dug into the Expanse since there was an Expanse. It’s said that Angazhan blessed his oldest cult with the power to reincarnate their fallen allies into a new and more powerful shape... and do the same to their fallen enemies, bringing them under the Ape King’s thrall. This gives Charau-Ka a terrifying quality found in few other living monsters; there’s a good chance any given Man-Ape your party encounters might have once been a human, perhaps even an adventurer just like them who sought to end the threat the Charau-Ka pose to civilization and wound up joining them.

At home in thick jungles, the 30ft climb speed and brachiating movements among the trees give the man-eaters incredible mobility in their natural environment, adding a degree of danger few low-level encounters can match. Frighteningly intelligent, especially in groups, Charau-Ka can rig their jungle homes with traps like drop nets, pitfalls, log traps, and weaponized venomous animals to whittle down a party that can’t fight back through the thick foliage or reliably fire into the upper branches from which the beast-men attack. Unless forced down from the trees, the branches are likely where they’ll stay, as they’re perfectly built to be menaces from a range.

Charau-Ka have Point-Blank Shot and Precise Shot to give their ranged attacks a bit of extra oomph, but they’re also Thrown Weapon Masters that gain Throw Anything as a bonus feat to assure they’re never unarmed. Whether it be proper weapons like slings, daggers, or throwing axes, or improvised weapons like dung, rocks, branches, or alchemist’s fire, Charau-Ka get a +1 to attack rolls when tossing anything around. Thrown Weapon Mastery also doubles the threat range of any thrown weapon they use, typically meaning they go to 19-20... but if they have a bag-full of daggers, that’s a bunch of throwables with a crit range of 16~20. A DM wishing to make them even more dangerous can arm them with exotic weapons like the starknife, as they’re able to take slightly more advantage of its intimidating x3 crit modifier.

Side note: Did you know the blowgun is classified as a thrown weapon? Not especially scary damage-wise, but its absolutely silent firing mechanism and decent range combined with a Charau-Ka’s stealth, ability to climb, and access to jungle toxins can make it one of the deadliest options they have for dealing with an adventuring party heading into their territory.

Being caught in melee is never an enviable position for anything with only 14 AC and no DR or elemental resistances, so the Demon Apes tend to stay as high as possible, but mistakes happen. Ambushes from the players happen, combat in an open area happens. That’s why Charau-Ka can enter a Shrieking Frenzy once per day as a free action, screaming and howling at the top of their lungs (to the point of failing all Stealth checks automatically) and preventing them from speaking or providing verbal components for their spells. What do they get for these restrictions? Haste for 3 entire rounds, bolstering their AC, their Reflex saves, and their DPS. Able and willing to use simple weapons, this means their full attack is two weapon attacks (1d4 or 1d6 +3) that likely carry some form of poison, and a bite (1d3+1) which carries the psychological damage of being bitten by an ape.

One Charau-Ka entering its frenzy can be dangerous. An entire group of them at once can quickly out-DPS parties hoping to shred through their meager HP reserves... And then there’s one simple, especially fun fact: Charau-Ka can and DO frequently take class levels in things like Fighter, Oracle, Ranger, Hunter, Slayer, and Barbarian. If you think a screaming monkey is bad already, imagine one under the effects of both Haste AND a Barbarian Rage, wielding a weapon far more formidable than a treebranch club or simple bone dagger.

You can read more about them here.

[attioking]

P-3 aesthetic

I have an idea for the third prime sanctum style and location. This probably won't happen. So during a section of levels, V1 goes to the under bottom of hell, precariously traveling over an endless abyss. The prime sanctum is in one of these levels.

The sanctum itself is going to be a massive area with about 5-10 chains holding the flesh ORB and you have to travel around the level facing enemies while you go around trying to break the chains. It is also shown that there are other smaller chains which are holding the arena up, with 4 main chains to hold the platform up as well. When you break all the chains you then fight the flesh ORB and right when you're about to kill it, it decides to sacrifice you to gain it's health, reducing you to 1 hp with no hard damage while it heals to full. It is then promptly exploded into a massive rain of blood which then heals you to full. The explosion also breaks all of the smaller chains holding the platform up.

The prime soul then does his whole speech thing, but before he can start the fight massive virtue circles appear around the 4 main chains and break them, while the prime soul goes "Wait, WHAT! NO!" and then the platform falls into the abyss, with you on it, along with the prime soul.

The platform lands on a massive inky black sea, the void sea. The arena is now smaller than what it was. The prime soul then goes "V1, you have slain Minos, Sisyphus, and countless other souls and now you take away my new freedom. So now I will *break you into NOTHING UPON NOTHING!!!!!!*" and enters the fight.

I don't know what the fight will entail, but one part of it would have him do a bowser-esq move, where he jumps up, and the force of the jump tilts the platform into the void sea, which you must avoid, or take fall damage. The fight ends with him going "So now nothing will stop you from emptying hell and heaven. I CURSE THEE A THOUSANDFOLD TIMES, DECLARE THEE ACCURSED, DECLARE THEE TO NEVER HAVE A DAY OF REST OR PEACE! and ask you to give one to heaven for me." then he dies.

The end room terminal talks about the void sea or continues on from where the others left off, and instead of a pit, there is a super jump pad, which launches you up, because there is nowhere further down to go.

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #321: Kama (Avenger)

yep, we’re finally getting the second half of the summer done. Avenger Kama is an odd duck… er, parrot… but still, she’s the biggest departure from the original build we’ve done all Summer, going from a cleric/fighter to a Draconic Sorcerer and Genie Warlock- the former to give her some water manipulation tactics (or… ice, I guess. both of them are screwed over by WotC’s fire bias, but water even moreso), and the latter for a parrot you can stuff a person into. yes this is an important part of the build.

check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

next up: I sea serpent, I ride it

Ancestry & Background

incinerated gods still aren’t typical pcs in D&D, so I guess we’re going with Custom Lineage again. some things never change. this does a little though, since this time you get +2 Charisma instead of wisdom, and the Elemental Adept feat to bump up your cold damage- now your cold spells get at least a 2 on every damage die, and you ignore resistance to cold damage! water is a great insulator, so you really gotta give your spells some juice to punch through that. you still get Darkvision though, that’s not changing either.

speaking of not changing, as a Haunted One you have proficiency in Arcana and Survival. trauma is still trauma, even in the summer.

Ability Scores

this summer we’re going entirely on the offensive, so your Charisma has to be as high as possible. after that, your Dexterity- I’m not sure if you still do archery, but you can. plus you’re fighting in a bikini, so every little bit helps. third up, your Constitution. your bodily existence was already kind of weird, but now you’re an avenger, so your spirit origin is constantly repairing itself on top of being ash in the first place. makes it hard to stamp out your flames, y’know? after that, your Wisdom- it’s not great, but you’re generally good at spotting stuff, even if your insight’s crap. that means our Strength neutral, and we’re dumping Intelligence. it’s the traditional summer writing treatment, please understand.

Class Levels

1. Sorcerer 1: starting off as a sorcerer gives you proficiency in Constitution and Charisma saves, as well as Persuasion and Religion (that last one against your will). for the summer, not only are you half demon and half god, thanks to your Draconic Bloodline you’re also half dragon! you’re more chuuni than Jalter!

we’re picking either a white or silver dragon for your Draconic Ancestor. the color doesn’t quite matter, but either way it matches your hair! this also teaches you draconic (it’s a language), and your dragon-based charisma checks have doubled proficiency.

the more important feature this level is your Draconic Resilience- you get an extra 1 hp per sorcerer level, and while you’re not wearing armor your AC gets a +3 bonus. it’s free mage armor! it doesn’t quite make you a knight class, but you’re definitely better off than assassin you.

speaking of, we still have to talk spells! you cast them with charisma as you’d probably expect from the stat layout. we’ve still got some of your old tricks- Friends and Charm Person, but for summer we’re also grabbing Frostbite and Shape Water for some water Authority, as well as Message to chat with master via parrot, and Disguise Self for your constant outfit swaps at the end of the event.

2. sorcerer 2: at level two you become a font of magic! that means you get sorcery points every day equal to your sorcerer level. right now you can spend points to make new spell slots, and spend slots to make more points. it gets better later on, don’t worry.

you can also shoot birds at people thanks to maaagic missile. it makes missiles, but magic! they instantly hit any target, and though they don’t do a lotta damage, it’s guaranteed damage, which feels very avengery.

3. Sorcerer 3: at third level you can make jokes about how crap the writing in your universe is thanks to Metamagic! it also lets you alter spells you cast by spending sorcery points but w/e. Heightened spells force disadvantage on one target’s save for three points, while seeking spells let you re-roll an attack for two. hey, we’re going all out on the offensive, remember?

speaking of magic though, you learn second level spells this level like Tasha’s Mind Whip, which not only deals psychic damage to your enemy but also stuns them with your beauty if they fail an intelligence save- they can only move, make an action, or make a bonus action the turn after you hit them.

4. Sorcerer 4: there’s not really any other sorcerer cantrips we need, so this level grab Create Bonfire, I guess. despite the water and floaty theming, you do still pack some heat. you can also Alter Self now to go from smol kama to tol kama.

also your first Ability Score Improvement should go towards evening out your Constitution for more health and Charisma for stronger spells.

5. Sorcerer 5: fifth level sorcerers can use Magical Guidance to be even better at everything by spending sorcery points to reroll skill checks. you should probably stick to using this on stuff you’re good at- two insight checks are still more than likely to end up as two failures.

you also get third level spells, and Freedom of the Waves might be third party but it’s also on D&D Beyond? so… whatever, it’s here. it takes one action to cast and makes a 15’ radius 10’ tall cylinder of violent seawater somewhere within 120’ feat of you. each creature in the area makes a strength save or takes 2d8 bludgeoning damage and falls prone. you can even choose a couple creatures in the area to automatically make their saves against the spell, if you’re feeling generous. also, if you’re in the spell’s area, you can teleport to another spot in its area as you cast it. if you’re made of ash it just makes sense you’d be hard to pin down.

6. Sorcerer 6: sixth level white or silver draconic sorcerers have an Elemental Affinity for cold damage, adding their charisma modifier to spells that deal it. plus, whenever you splash someone with a cold spell, you can spend a sorcery point to gain resistance to cold damage.

speaking of spells, we’re grabbing the Haste spell this level. it’s mostly for your floaty later, but being able to run twice as fast is never a bad thing. unless you get stuck somewhere bad when the spell ends and lose a turn recuperating. honestly that kind of feels like your usual luck, huh?

7. Warlock 1: okay, we’re all set on water stuff for now, let’s get ourselves that parrot. to do that, we need to strike up a deal with a Genie, specifically a Marid for that extra watery flavor. kind of like a lacroix.

you get an expanded spell list based on your genie’s type, but we’ll only bring that up when its relevant. the big draw here is the Genie’s Vessel, a random tiny object that acts as your spellcasting focus. while touching the vessel, you can enter your Bottled Respite for a few hours once per long rest. right now it can only fit you, but eventually you can trap- I mean let- master into it as well.

you can also unleash the Genie’s Wrath once a turn, adding some cold damage to any attack roll you make, so now any spell with an attack roll technically deals cold damage as well, so you can add your affinity bonus too! loopholes are fun!

oh, speaking of, we still need spells (which also use your charisma but have a different kind of spell slot that recharges on short rests). Eldritch Blast is another bunch of birds to throw at people, but this one requires an attack roll to hit. hey, we just got something that requires attack rolls to add a ton of damage to a spell, what are the odds?

Green-Flame Blade isn’t as helpful since you need to make the attack yourself, but it can hit two creatures with it. I guess just slap someone upside the head with a chakram if you want to deal fire and cold damage at the same time.

to continue this duality of a fiery god in water, pick up Armor of Agathys and Hellish Rebuke to double down on retaliatory attacks- the former automatically deals cold damage every time you lose its temporary hp, and the latter uses your reaction to blast fire in someone’s face if they hit you with a melee attack. even your defense is offense now!

8. Warlock 2: second level warlocks get two Eldritch Invocations to personalize their summer memories, and for once we’re using both of them right away! Mask of Many Faces lets you cast Disguise Self for free for an unlimited wardrobe, while Devil’s Sight lets your darkvision see through magical darkness so your target cannot escape you.

you can also Distort Value, doubling or halving the effective worth of an item for a short while. you’re the demon of desire, it makes sense you can make stuff more or less desirable.

9. Warlock 3: at third level you finally land on a deal with your Marid buddy, sealing you into the Pact of the Chain. with it, you now get access to the Find Familiar spell, allowing you to summon a parrot to carry your vessel around for you.

you can also cast second level spells like Invisibility to completely let go of your corporeal form for a short while. (obv you can still get hit while invisible, but it’ll be a lot harder.)

10. Sorcerer 7: okay, that’s enough birding up for now, let’s get cooler. you know what’s cooler than being cool? Ice Storm! it makes a stormcloud that hails on people and deals bludgeoning and cold damage, plus it turns the area it hits into difficult terrain for a round. all of those are already things water does, so it’s not hard to reflavor it.

11. Sorcerer 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity, both for the higher AC and to hopefully hit something with your green-flame blade more often. you can also make a Watery Sphere now that can trap enemies inside of it on a failed strength save. then you can swing the ball around like a big yoyo. there technically isn’t any drawback to being in the sphere aside from the usual drowning, but that’s kind of up to the DM. it’s fun though!

12. Sorcerer 9: ninth level sorcerers get fifth level spells, our main pick here is Animate Objects. for once, your inflatable crocodile can actually be an inflatable crocodile! Unfortunately this uses your concentration, so we can’t haste it to jetski speeds just yet.

13. Warlock 4: use this ASI to max out your Charisma for the strongest spells possible- spells like your new ones this level, Minor Illusion and Enthrall. you’re very lou-I mean distracting, so this spell will give creatures disadvantage on perception checks to notice anyone else for the duration.

14. Warlock 5: fifth level warlocks get third level spells, usually, but instead we’re going for another 2nd level one. Blur from the Marid spell list is just relaxing your ashy body instead of letting it go completely, giving creatures attacking you disadvantage to hit.

you also get another invocation, and the Gift of the Depths is great for the summer- you can now breathe underwater for free, and you get a swim speed to boot! on top of that, you can help out the party and cast water breathing once a day for free.

15. Warlock 6: sixth level genielocks get an upgrade to the draconic elemental buffs, an Elemental Gift if you will, that gives you permanent resistance to cold damage. on top of that, you can give yourself ten minutes of flight speed as a bonus action proficiency times a day. now we don’t have to worry about making you actually ride on a parrot!

you also get more waterpower thanks to a Spirit Shroud. this causes water to swirl around your feet, slowing down nearby enemies and adding cold damage to your short-ranged attacks. you could also make it radiant or necrotic, but that’s not on theme dangit.

16. Warlock 7: seventh level warlocks get fourth level spells, and since you’re buddy-buddy with a Marid you can Control Water to control water. you can make it flood, part the water, splash it around, or even make a whirlpool! it lasts up to ten minutes and you can pick a different option every turn.

you also get another invocation- Bewitching Whispers is pretty old-school Kama, letting you cast Compulsion once a day for free. if the target of your affections fails their wisdom save, you can use your bonus action each turn to tell it which way to move. this might be taking the whole “puppets on strings” metaphor a little too literally, but it’s fun!

17. Warlock 8: use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity once more time for more graceful swimming, and also to get away from your new pool floaty. with Summon Greater Demon, you can bring a CR 5 or lower demon into the material plane for up to an hour. you can command it for free, but it has a chance to break out if it makes a charisma save. that being said, your charisma is maxed out, so the chances of that happening is low. as a plus, they linger around for a few rounds if you’re not concentrating on them while still having to obey your commands, so you can pop that balloon animal for a bit of haste in a pinch!

18. Warlock 9: Ninth level warlocks get fifth level spells, like your last Marid goody, Cone of Cold. it’s a cone of damage, it’s cold. you also have an Eldritch Mind now, so you have advantage on concentration saves. that’s very useful, given how many of your spells can be the only thing between you and a fight breaking out.

19. Warlock 10: tenth level genies have a Sanctuary Vessel, so you can finally drag master back to your parrot with you! unfortunately you can’t leave them in there, but that’s just a good excuse for some alone time. speaking of, you can get a short rest by spending ten minutes in there, with an additional amount of HP added if they spend that rest healing up.

you also get one last cantrip, so… Mage Hand? it’s basically another bird, why not.

20. Warlock 11: our final level of warlock finally nets you a whole new spell level thanks to the Mystic Arcanum letting you cast Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise once a day. and for once, we have a build that works just as well in either direction! if you let your Kama side show, you become immune to radiant and necrotic damage, as well as the charmed condition, while Mara will make you immune to fire and poison damage and the poisoned condition. either way, you also get a flying speed, and boost to your ac. you can make more weapon attacks too- all your weapon attacks now use your charisma, and you can attack twice an action! so, boom! godtier mode for the final fight achieved!

Pros & Cons

Pros:

water-based casters are great at crowd control, and it’s super easy for you to lock down or push away enemies and make fights easier for the rest of your party.

turning invisible already makes you plenty sneaky, but you can also listen in on conversations by hiding in your own vessel and having your familiar fly you around places. a bird carrying a lantern around would be weird, but most people wouldn’t think it’s a spy camera.

your elemental bonuses from your feats and both classes stack up very nicely, adding 11 points of irresistible damage to your magical attacks each turn, plus it works best on Eldritch Blast, which gives you multiple chances to hit with a maxed-out spellcasting modifier. you’ve got a ton of flashier options, but if you ever get tired of those, you’ve got a really solid plan to fall back on. (also secret fourth pro: you should never run out of flashy stuff to do bc you’re a sorcerer/warlock. turn your warlock slots into sorcery points, then turn the points into sorcerer slots. take a short rest to recharge, and you’ve got free spell slots!)

Cons:

those elemental bonuses I just talked about work together only on spells with attack rolls, which you have exactly one of. everything else is either an aoe spell, some kind of support spell, or one that relies on you making attack rolls. the combo’s nice, but you’re probably only going to see it when pushed to your limit anyway.

we really had to stretch to make that fast floaty happen, and I don’t think I need to tell most of you that playing with demons is a bad idea. or maybe I do, you’re reading a kama build after all. still, even with your maxed out charisma they always have a chance to turn on you, plus just trying to summon one requires you to kill a person beforehand, which comes with its own risks.

quite a few of your abilities are just plain redundant. Mask of Many faces is Disguise Self but over and over, blur and invisibility serve about the same purpose, half of your Elemental Gift is something we could already do with your Elemental Affinity, and so on. it’s not terrible, and it definitely gives the build a more cohesive feeling of getting better at a few particular things, but it’ll suck if you get stuck in a campaign with a bunch of cold-immune monsters.