#a part of it mentions 'You heal and I've witnessed it'

[metalmonki]

50 Ways To Say Goodbye

911 x fem!reader

5k word count

Summary The 911 helps you escape your abusive ex but in true 118 dumb, dumb stile they create a bigger problem that Athena has to fix.

fluff, idiots

Warnings mention and description of death, domestic abuse and self-harm.

Note: I've been working on the next part of The Dating Oddessey while listening to some music. 50 Ways To Say Goodbye by Train came on and gave me this idea. Didn't quite turn out how I wanted but its still pretty funny. Also you could take this to mean either Eddie or Buck has feelings for you. Not how I intended it but it's how it came out.

...

Today you had finally done it. You had finally worked up the courage to break up with your horrible excuse for a human ex Bradley. You made sure to break up with him while he was working so you had witnesses. The last thing you needed was him gaslighting you back into the relationship like last time. With witnesses, it was harder for him to say the breakup never happened. 

Today had been planned out for weeks. Your best friends, Eddie and Buck, had been helping you slowly remove your stuff from his house for the last month and taking it to your Dad's place. You did have much, after all, Bradley didn’t allow you to have much. He had to control everything from the furniture to the decorations and even the food kept in the house.

Outside Bradley's workplace Buck and Eddie were waiting for you in Eddie's truck. Your Dad, Bobby, was their boss and had given them the day off to play bodyguard for you. When you walked out the front door with Bradley storming after you both boys were fast to jump out of the truck and jog towards you. Eddie wasn’t going to let him hurt you anymore and Buck didn’t want what happened to his sister Maddie to happen to you for that reason Eddie had hidden a lot of what Bradley had done to you from all your friends and even your Dad. Eddies had been the house you would hide in for days at a time while waiting for bruises to heal. Eddie had been the person to give you that final push you needed to leave. 

“What if next time he kills you y/n? Did you think of that?” Eddie slammed his fist onto his kitchen counter as you held a bag of frozen peas to your soon-to-be black eye. “Do you have any idea what that would do to me? To Chris? Hell, think about your father and Athena. The rest of our friends. We all love you y/n and yet you keep allowing yourself to be treated like shit. You know what if you're going to go back to him this time then I don’t want you in my house, take your things and leave” Eddie had left the kitchen, leaving you standing there shocked to your core. It scared you. More than the beatings. You didn’t want to lose Eddie as your friend, you didn’t want to hurt him or Chris, your family, your friends. Eddie was right enough was enough. 

After that night you had come clean with everyone about what was happening. Athena was quick to offer up their spare room for you and Bobby wouldn’t take no for an answer. Eddie and Maddie had to keep Buck distracted at all times until your items were moved out of Bradley's house because he threatened to kill the guy if he laid eyes on him. So when Buck and Eddie saw him coming up fast behind you screaming at you Eddie made sure to direct Buck to get you out of the way. Buck was quick to slide an arm around your waist and guide you quickly to Eddie's truck. Eddie blocked Bradley from coming any closer to you. You couldn’t hear what was said between the two of them but whatever Eddie said had Bradley ducking back into his building quickly. Eddie waited until the building doors closed behind Bradley before walking back to the truck. He didn’t speak once he started the truck nor did he speak for the entire trip to your Dads. His white knuckles gripped the steering wheel the whole drive there. Their conversation was something that had pissed him off. Once at your Dad's, you excused yourself to go lay down. The day had left you physically and mentally exhausted. 

“It’s okay baby you go rest, your Dad wants to cook you something special for dinner so I’ll come get you when his home and cooking, okay” Athena gave you a loving smile. 

You made your way to the spare room and quickly made yourself comfortable on the bed. As you lay there you could hear Athena talking with Buck and Eddie. 

“She’ll be safe here, trust me if that guy comes anywhere near this house he can consider himself arrested” Athena said

“How long does it take for someone like him to just leave a person alone?” Buck asked 

“Some give up after a few days, some a few weeks, months, years, some never quit” Athena sighed “But this guy I’d say as soon as he has a new target he’ll leave her alone” 

“Athena…” Eddie was cut off by someone banging on the front door. Before anyone could move to open the door what could only be described as a stampede echoed through the house. Heavy boots took staircase steps 2 at a time until the fanfare came to an end in the kitchen where Athena, Eddie and Buck still stood in shock at the interruption.  Stood before them in full uniform fresh from a call were Bobby, Chimney, Hen and Ravi. 

“What in the world are you lot doing in my kitchen?” Athena asked frustration lacing her voice

“Did you get y/n?” Chimney ignored Athena looking straight at Eddie and Buck

“y/n is trying to rest which she won’t be able to do with you lot acting like a bunch of zoo animals” Athena crossed her arms over her chest looking at them all like a disappointed mother. 

“So what's the plan from here how do we keep her ex from intimidating her back into a relationship with him” Hen asked keeping her voice just above a whisper partly to keep from disturbing y/n but mostly to appease Athena. 

“Well, to start Maddie and I are going to take her out for the day tomorrow, take her mind off all this” Athena motioned around the room. 

“Then starting the day after I’ve adjusted our rosters so someone can be here with her around the clock in case he shows up here” Bobby spoke up

“Unfortunately, someone here invited him over for dinner so he knows exactly where we live” Athena threw an accusatory look at Bobby. 

“Maybe she should come to stay with me he has no idea where I live” Eddie offered up. 

“No she’s safer here with Athena” Bobby said “Any sign of trouble and Athena can have the entire LAPD on our doorstep” Bobby smiled at Athena. 

“A Mumma has to protect her babies” Athena smiled back at Bobby. “And besides, he knows all of us and he will likely stalk all of us to get to her”

“So what are we supposed to do just wait for him to lose interest” Buck spoke up frustrated with the situation “I mean you said it yourself Athena it could take years” 

“Or days or weeks or months, the only guaranteed way to get rid of him quick is if y/n died, it’s the only way I’ve seen his type leave their victim alone for good” Athena said. The 118 shared a look, a look of mischief, of a united thought on how to get rid of this threat to their family. Athena knew immediately what they were thinking and quickly began shaking her head and looking between them. 

“Don’t you even think about it” Athena pointed a stern finger at each person standing in her kitchen. “You’ll be causing more problems than what you’ll solve”

…

Despite Athena's warning the 118 decided as a family that if ‘the asshole’ as they affectionately dubbed him showed his face to any of them they would warn him to back off and if he wouldn’t listen they would tell him y/n was dead. It seemed like the perfect plan until it wasn’t. 

The first person to meet him face to face was Chimney. It was 4 days after Eddie and Buck had taken you to live with Bobby and Athena. It was Eddie's day off. He had taken you out for lunch, then you picked Christopher up from school before heading back to Eddies to hang out. Eddie asked if you wanted to stay for dinner and a movie. Christopher who overheard the offer from where he sat in the dining room doing his homework practically begged you to stay. You called Athena to let her know you were going to be out late with Eddie and that he was going to drive you back when the movie ended. Christopher was old enough after all to stay home alone for the 20 minutes it would take Eddie to drop you home. 

Because of this, it was Chimney who got stuck working late at the firehouse. He was the last to leave after finishing off all the small boring end-of-shift jobs like making sure all the dinner dishes were done and the ambulance restocked for the next shift. Bradley had been parked across the road from the station all day watching the team come and go. Your little stunt at his office had cost him his job. He was going to make you pay and he had all the time in the world to make it happen. He waited and counted off your friends as they left. He wanted to make sure that he followed the last person to leave because he knew if he risked following anyone else the rest of your friends would know and his plan would be ruined. He noticed after the first three calls of the shift that one of the guys he had seen you out the front of his office with wasn’t on shift today. He decided it was likely that guy's fault you left him. You’d probably been seeing him behind his back all along. He’d make him pay too. He counted them out one by one as they left the firehouse, first, it was the other guy he’d seen at his office and some Middle Eastern-looking dude. Then that black woman he’d seen you hang out with left. Next was your father. He almost forgot to wait to see him. He wanted to chase him down and run him over with his car but he held it together. He knew there was one more person left. The little Asian guy. When he hadn’t come out after 30 minutes he almost thought he went home earlier and he’d missed him. That was until Chimney walked out of the 118 firehouse almost 45 minutes after his shift had finished. He was talking away on his phone not paying attention to his surroundings creating the perfect situation for a stalker. 

He followed Chimney from the firehouse to one of those 24-hour corner stores. He followed him in close behind, waiting until Chimney was alone in the back of the store. As luck would also have it there were no security cameras in sight. While Chimney was distracted looking at the small selection of diapers the store carried, he took his chance. Before Chimney could respond, he had grabbed him by the shoulder and had him pinned against the diaper shelves he was just looking at. 

“Where is she?” He asked aggressively.

“Who?” Chimney asked shocked but trying to remain calm. He knew exactly who he wanted. 

“Y/n” He held back from yelling in Chimney's face. 

“Y/n? You…you mean you haven’t heard?” Chimney tried his best at putting on a distraught face even willing a few tears to fall. 

“Heard what?” He loosed his grip on Chimney. 

“I’m sorry man, she… she's dead” Chimney said softly trying to lace his voice with sadness. 

“What no! What happened?” He aggressively slammed Chimney back against the shelves. 

“The night Eddie and Buck picked her up from your place she slit her wrists in Bobby and Athena's bathroom” Chimney made himself sob. 

Bradley shook his head in disbelief and ran from the shop. Once out of sight, Chimney let a massive grin break out on his face and he let out a proud chuckle. He grabbed diapers and practically skipped to the counter with them. He was so proud of himself and his lie. He knew if Bradley went looking to see if it was true he would see there had been a call out to Bobby and Athenas that night. It hadn’t been for you thought. Buck being the massive cluts that he is had managed to get his foot stuck in the bin beside the toilet while changing out a light bulb in the sconce above the sink which had stopped working while he was using the toilet. While trying to get the bin off his foot he slipped on the bath mat and fell smacking the back of his head with a loud yet hollow-sounding thunk on the sink, Luckly for Buck he has a thick skull and came out of it with a sore bum, ankle and head and a bruised ego. They still had him taken to the hospital because even though the injuries weren’t that bad he still needed to be cleared of any major head injury before returning to work. 

…

2 days later by chance, he ran into Hen. It was her day off and she was about to come pick you up to go out to the movies but first, she had to run some errands. Bobby wanted to have a barbecue at his place to celebrate family and new beginnings. She was grabbing a few things to take with her when he spotted her. She was about to walk into the supermarket when he walked out. Seeing Hen he decided to take the chance to confirm what Chimney had told him. He grabbed Hen who was distracted by the shopping list on her phone and pulled her to the side of the door. 

“What do you think you're doing? Get your hands off me!” Hen snapped. 

“I’m sorry I just want to talk” He sighed. 

“What do you want?” Hen asked crossing her arms over her chest,

“Is it true?” He asked. 

“Is what true?” Hen asked. 

“Is she dead?” 

“I’m afraid so” Hen dropped her head.

“No, no it can’t be” He looked at the ground. 

“If it means anything she didn’t suffer” Hen put a hand on his shoulder. When he looked up at her confused Hen was quick to drop her hand back by her side. “There was nothing anybody could do for her. I can assure you she died the second the car made contact with the semi, she wasn’t even aware of the fire” 

“A car accident?” He stumbled backwards. He ran away from Hen and made his way into the parking lot. The groceries he had brought were abandoned on the ground. Hen passed a confused look to the parking lot, shrugged and continued with her day. She knew if he went looking he would find a two-vehicle collision between a truck and a car. Y/n was nowhere near the accident but the 118 had responded to the accident so if he looked it up he wouldn’t be able to accuse them of lying. 

…

The very next day Ravi saw Bradley hanging out across the street watching the fire house. Ravi would have run off and grabbed Bobby but he was at home spending time with you. Ravi took a quick look around but couldn’t spot any other members of the 118 to alert. Ravi decided that he was going to have to do something about it himself. He jogged across the road and stood beside Bradley's car. He positioned himself in such a way that if anything should happen anyone watching on in the firehouse would be able to see both Ravi and Bradley in the car. Ravi through a look back at the firehouse and then turned his attention back to Bradley. 

“Any reason you're watching the firehouse?” Ravi asked faking a smile trying to pretend that he didn’t know who the man in the car was. “Are you interested in working for the LAFD? I could get you some information if you want to come inside” Ravi motioned towards the firehouse with an outstretched hand. 

“Oh no, I was just hoping someone could help me get some information on a friend” Bradley put a fake smile on his face. 

“No problem sir if you want to come inside I can set you up in the captain's office and we can all have a couple of officers down to help you” Ravi never once let the smile on his face falter. 

“I don’t want to be a bother” If he stepped foot in the firehouse he knew he would be recognised by the other members of the 118. “My friends' name is Y/n Nash I believe you know her, she’s the fire captain's daughter” 

“Oh y/n, yeah I knew her, um the captain is actually off today, I guess you’re here for the funeral?” Ravi let his smile drop. He tucked his hands into his pockets, rocked back on his heels and looked at the ground. “I could get you the funeral details if you want” 

“No, no it’s fine, when did she die? How did she die? I mean last time I saw her she was healthy, she seemed happy” Bradley knew he was baiting Ravi. He’d already been told two different things. Either your whole team was messing with him or you were messing with them. Either way, he was going to figure it out and track you down. And when he found you he was going to make you pay. 

“Uh she…she was involved in a hit and run, Cap had to decide to turn off her life support. The doctors said she had almost no chance of recovery any way” Ravi looked up to the sky knowing if he looked Bradley in the eyes he might break and smile. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that, I was just in town and thought I would stop in for a minute but I wouldn’t want to be a burden, pass my condolences on to Bobby” Bradley gave Ravi a small smile and pulled away from the firehouse. When he was out of sight Ravi fist-bumped the air and jogged back into the firehouse. As far as Ravi was concerned that was the last time he thought any of you would hear from him. Bradley on the other hand had only gathered more evidence that the 118 was potentially lying to him. 

…

Early the next morning Bradley stalked Eddie to his usual running path. He waited until Eddie was on a particularly quiet portion of the track, hidden from the eyes of the public by bushes and trees. He blocked Eddie's path not allowing him to step around him. Eddie the second he laid eyes on Bradley wanted to punch his lights out but he held his composure. Eddie placed some distance between himself and Bradley before speaking up. 

“What the hell do you want?” Eddie said voice laced with anger. 

“I just want to know what happened to y/n” Bradley put his hands up in surrender. 

“You have no right to ask about her” Eddie snapped “She was so happy until you came along, you broke her down, you isolated her from us, you’re the reason…” Eddie choked on his words. A mixture of real and fake emotions was flowing through Eddie. He was so upset and caught off guard that he almost went off the script. “You’re the reason shes dead” 

“Now Edmundo I don’t believe that for a second” Bradley smirked at Eddie

“Look in my eyes and tell me I’m lying” Eddie growled, “I carried her lifeless body out of her parent's house after she blew her brains out with her mother's gun, I begged and pleaded with god and anyone who would listen to bring her back to me, to us.”

“No, no… you're lying!” Bradley yelled backing away from Eddie. 

“She killed herself because we wouldn’t let her go back to you, maybe we should have, maybe if we did she’d still be here” Eddie's gaze dropped to the ground. The next thing Eddie heard was the sound of someone running away from him. He looked up to see himself once again alone. A smile broke out on his face as he continued with his run. He couldn’t wait to finish up his run, get home, shower and get to work. The only thing that was going to top this was having dinner with you, Buck and Chris tonight. Bradley on the other hand was not so sure what was going on. He found himself confused. Everything Eddie said seemed so genuine. Maybe Bobby and Eddie had told the rest of the team different things to keep them from knowing what happened. He hadn’t seen you around since that day in the office not even with Eddie and Buck even though he knew you’d always run off to them in the past. Still, he had two more people to ask and he wasn’t going to stop until he got the truth. 

…

That afternoon he followed Bobby into a butcher as he looked for the perfect cuts of steak and his favourite burger patties for the weekend during some downtime between calls. He wanted this BBQ to be reminiscent of the BBQs that you had when you were a kid even though, Mum, Robbie and Brook weren’t here anymore and you’d felt like he had tried to replace them with Athena, May and Harry. You’d grown to love them like Bobby did and accepted them as your family. Bobbys plans came to a halt when Bradley grabbed him by the arm and spun him to look at him. Bobby went from shocked to furious in seconds. Bradley could tell immediately that Bobby was not impressed to see him. 

“I’m not trying to start anything” Bradley puts his hands up in defence “I just need to know…”

“Need to know what?” Bobby snaps crossing his arms across his chest making himself larger and more intimidating. 

“Is she dead?” He asked. 

“My daughter? My child who you destroyed so completely that she couldn’t see her self-worth. Yes, she’s dead and it's all your fault” Bobby was now shaking with anger, his arms hung limp at his side and his gaze had met the floor. “I had to scrape her brains off every surface of my guest room, all my children are now gone, I couldn’t save any of them, what kind of father can’t protect his children?” Bobby looked up to where Bradley had been standing to find that he at some point had run off. Bobby looked around the empty store and shrugged. Had he been a little overdramatic sure but he didn’t think he’d been that bad. With a smile plastered on his face, he went back to picking out the steaks for the weekend and hoped that would be the last time he would have to see Bradley. 

…

The next morning Buck found himself running late for his shift. Chris insisted on watching a movie with everyone the night before but fell asleep not 15 minutes into the film despite insisting to Eddie that he was not sleepy at all. Eddie carried Chris to bed and decided that since the movie had started you might as well watch it. It was one of your and Chris's favourites. Eddie was sick of watching the movie on repeat and Buck had somehow had the blessing of not being subject to FernGully until now. After the movie, Buck drove you home. This meant he didn’t get home until almost 11 pm and he had to be at the station at 7 am. Bradley had spotted Buck on his drive home and decided to camp out the front of Buck's apartment building for the night. When Buck stumbled out the front door in a rushed mess the next morning Bradley was there to greet him. 

“I’m not here to start a fight, I just need answers” He held his hands up in defence. 

“What the hell do you need answers for?” If looks could kill Bradley would be dead with how Buck looked at him.

“I just want to know if y/n is dead” Bradley moved further back from Buck out of fear of getting hit.

“Dead” Buck yelled and got so close to Bradley that their chests were almost touching “Why do think it’s any of your business to know what’s happening with y/n?” 

“I just heard rumours and wanted to know” Bradley flinched away from Buck. 

“You wanted to know? You wanted to know?” Buck looked away and scoffed “Yes she’s dead alright, she killed herself, you have no idea what it’s like to be called out to a scene where someone you love has killed themselves, to see their blood all over and know that nothing you can do will save them. To see them choking on their blood as it spills out of their open throat” 

Bradley had gone pale, so pale that Buck thought he was going to faint. For a split moment, Buck felt bad, made be he had been too harsh and taken things too far. Bradley quickly crossed back across the road to his car and took off before any more words could be exchanged. Buck shrugged and quickly made his way to work running even more late now. But that was normal for Buck so he knew no one would question him and he wouldn’t have to tell anyone about running into Bradley. 

…

Finally, Saturday rolled around 2 days later. You had been kept busy all morning by Athena who had you help put out her good wine glasses, set the table for lunch, and do other small tasks. Eddie, Christopher and Buck had shown up around 10 am because Chris was too impatient and excited to hang out with his favourite person. You were so distracted with Chris that before you knew it, the rest of the 118 had arrived. Bobby and Buck were manning the BBQ, Chris was off playing with Danny and Mara, Hen, Chimney, Ravi, Karen and Maddie were busy talking among themselves. Athena was busy drifting around the kitchen while Eddie stood outside next to you watching the kids play. 

“I’m glad you left him” Eddie broke the silence. 

“Me too” You smiled up at him “Thank you for knocking some sense into me”. 

“Okay everyone lunch is ready!” Bobby called bringing a tray of meat into the dining room. 

Everyone sat around the table. Athena had set the kids up at their table out in the yard which made them think they were the coolest kids ever. She even gave them their plastic wine glasses to drink juice from. You were in the middle of one of the greatest lunches you’d ever had when there was an overly aggressive knock on the door. Before Athena or Bobby could move to answer the door someone yelled through the front door.

“I know you're all in there, I want answers and I want them now!” Bradley screamed through the door. 

“What in the world?” Athena looked towards the landing where the front door was. 

“What’s he doing here?” Buck looked around the table. 

“I guess this means the plan didn’t work” Chimney looked between everyone. 

“What plan?” Athena looked at Chimney. 

“Uh, well, uh, Bobby do you want to explain it” Chimney looked to Bobby. 

“You brought it up” Bobby motioned back to Athena. 

“What plan?” Athena stood up, crossed her arms and started tapping her foot. 

The 118 shared panicked glances while you, Maddie and Karen looked around the table confused. 

“Robert Wade Nash you better start speaking or so help me god you’ll be sleeping at the firehouse tonight” Athena levelled her attention on Bobby. 

“We might have told him y/n was dead” Bobby said 

“Dead” Athena looked around the table “After I told you not to tell him that you went and did it anyway” 

“Well in all fairness Athena I was the one who told him she was dead” Buck admitted looking at his plate. 

“You? No, I told him” Chimney jumped in. 

“Wait but I told him she was dead like a week ago” Hen added. “Oh god what have we done” 

“One at a time, how did you all say she died” Athena asked the table. 

“Slit her wrists,” Chimney said

“Hit and Run,” Ravi said

“Car accident,” Hen said

 “Shot herself with your gun,” Bobby said

“Slit her throat,” Buck said

“Same as Bobby,” Eddie said

You, Maddie and Karen, were trying to hold it together despite all having a bad case of the giggles. Athena was done with the entire 118 at this point and it was clear from the look on Bobbys face he was already trying to decide who would let him crash on their lounge tonight. 

“If you weren’t going to listen couldn’t you all have at least agreed on how she died” Athena sighed. 

“I’ll go deal with” Bobby went to stand up. 

“No you’ve done enough damage” Athena left the table. 

Athena went to open the door while everyone else quietly got up from the table and came to peak around the corner. Bradley was still furiously banging on the door when Athena answered it. 

“What do you want?” Athena asked angrily.

“I need the truth, I’ve been told so many different things over the last week,” Bradley said “Tell me the truth and I’ll leave you alone” 

“Yes y/n is dead, yes she killed herself with my gun, no we haven’t told everyone, now if you don’t mind we’re currently having her wake” Athena crossed her arms. 

“I’m so sorry” Bradley quickly turned on his heels and ran off up the driveway out of sight. 

Athena took a deep breath and closed the door. 

“When I turn around you all best be at that table eating” 

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Wingspan

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Minors denied. Don't want me to write the list of all shameful things I wrote under the cut

Because I've spent whole week with sick 2 years old child, managed to get sick as well and I'm deprived of Azriel because last two months I'm writing only Heal me and as soon as he appeared on scene, this invaded my mind.. Honestly too many reasons to write something silly ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

"Okay, guys. You know why we are here," I started. "At first I'd like to thank you that you voluntarily signed up as subjects for this research."

"We compare our pricks whole life. It's our pleasure that somebody finally took it seriously and wants to write a whole book about it," Cassian teased, laughing hard.

Rhysand was trying really hard to keep a straight face the whole time, but after Cassian's comment he was about to lose it, and Azriel standing in the dark corner rather disappeared in his shadows after this comment.

How did I even get into this situation? Well, I knew how. It all happened because I was a passionate researcher. Too passionate for my own good.

It all started with mated Archeron sisters and Mor who wouldn't stop debating about this thing of a correlation of wingspan with the size of Illyrian male's private parts. It picked up my interest and I searched the entire library to find out more info about it. Utterly failing in the process, there wasn't a single mention. There wasn't even a proper documentation of their wings alone. So I took it upon myself to collect necessary data to confirm or deny truth of this rumour. I briefly mentioned it to Rhys hoping he could help me find enough subjects for the research. Which he did in surprisingly short time. And as if it wasn't enough he and his brothers signed up, too.

"That part I will leave to you. I hope I can count on you to deliver accurate numbers. If you try to cheat I'll have your mates to do it properly," I laughed, but I meant every single word.

"I'm sure Nes would be all for it," Cassian grinned proudly.

"As if Feyre wouldn't," Rhysand lost it. I had to laugh. I was afraid it would turn into something awkward, but with these two it was impossible. They were like kids, turning everything into a funny game.

I met Rhysand under the mountain. He witnessed the moment my ex betrayed me and when Feyre saved us all, he picked up my remains and brought me to Velaris to heal. In the end I decided to stay here. I buried love, lust and everything related to it as deep as possible and focussed on what I liked - research - occasionally helping inner circle.

"At least they certainly won't cheat," I smiled. "This research origins in their concern after all."

The three of us laughed so hard we cried. Only Azriel stayed silent hidden in his corner.

"And who will make sure Azriel doesn't cheat?" Cassian wondered.

"Why should I," Azriel stepped out from his hideaway, lowering a challenging gaze at me.

"I believe Azriel is the last one of three of you to use such dirty tricks to manipulate the results," I said, returning his gaze. "But if he does, I'll personally make sure he delivers true data."

His hazel eyes lit up with mischief and corners of his full lips slightly moved upward in a hardly there smirk. He wasn't so different from his brothers. More serious than these two? Certainly, but he could be playful, too.

"Okay, guys, let's get it done. Who is the first to show off the wingspan?"

This was the part I'd been looking forward the most. Illyrian wings, the most important subject of my research and to be honest, the main reason of this fuss. So sacred that sometimes even their lovers weren't allowed to touch them. Not that I could touch them by any mean. Boys only granted me to take measurements and a close look to make detailed sketches. Totally understandable given how sensitive they were.

All three of them took turns one in a time, helping me when my arms were too short. I took measurements of different parts of their bodies, too, just to be sure I have all I could possibly need to get accurate results. I wrote down numbers into my notebook, already amazed by the results.

"That's all for today. Thank you for your time. When can I expect the other data?"

"You can get them even right now, if you want, but I guess you don't want to see it, do you?" Cassian, always such a tease. I shook my head laughing.

"Would tomorrow morning be a soon enough for you?" Rhysand purred, flashing a smile. "Tonight we're going to have a lot of fun with Feyre."

"It would be perfect," I agreed. The sooner I was done here, the sooner I could go to camps to collect data from volunteers Rhysand had found for me.

Cassian and Rhysand left soon after, but ever-silent Azriel stayed behind.

He seemed to be so flustered and nervous while I was taking his measurements. Cassian was picking on him for that, but Azriel stoically ignored him and held still. It seemed he didn't even breathe. I knew he didn't like to be touched. It was the biggest of the surprises that he voluntarily signed up for this, so I was extra careful with him.

Ever since I met him, he was always very kind and considerate to me. However it took some time until he opened up. It's just few months since we started to hang out more. Not that I wouldn't like him. If I were honest, I would admit that he was very interesting person, I liked him a lot and he was so incredibly handsome. Too handsome to be real.

But that's exactly the way I wasn't suppose to think about him. I'm the type who falls easily and hard, and loves with all her being. That's why I was so devastated last time. Nobody could possibly love somebody like me. I'm unbearable in many ways.

Plus he is too high league for somebody like me. He can have anybody he wants and the line of prospects is long. Elain and Gwyn for example compete for his attention for years. Successfully. There's no way he would think of me that way. I shook my head to get rid of these self harming thoughts.

Turning I smiled at him encouragingly. Azriel cleared his throat, wings rustled behind his back. He did this often when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"The camps.. are you planning to go there alone?" His deep voice always did this strange thing with my insides. And today was no different. I pushed the feeling aside, to the box of things I shouldn't think about and shut it closed.

"No, I believe last time Rhysand mentioned something about sending an escort. Mor is going with me, too."

"Okay," he nodded. His one word responses the were death of me. It was so hard to keep conversation going.

"Uhm.. So tomorrow? You don't have to hurry if it's inconvenient for you."

"Tomorrow is fine."

"Oh.. So.. uhm.. I'll see you tomorrow." Shadowsinger just nodded looking down at me a little longer than necessary and then finally he turned and left. I let out a long breath.

Next day Rhys came as the first one as soon as I entered my office. I guess he couldn't wait. Cassian stopped by as soon as the training with priestesses was over. I checked their results with their mates during the lunch break just to be sure the numbers are correct.

It was almost evening and Azriel was nowhere to be seen. I packed some of the stuff I needed to take to camps and took a look around. There was nothing else to keep me occupied, so I decided it's time to go home. I was about to open the door when a knock sounded. It was Azriel.

"You came," I greeted him with smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner. I was-"

"It's okay," I interrupted him. "You really don't need to apologise. I'm grateful you signed up for this."

He made a small noise and handed me a piece of folded paper. I took it and returned to my desk where I left the notebook with all data.

"Were you going to go home already?" he asked while I unfolded the paper.

"Yeah, you came just in time. One minute later and I would be gone." I looked at the number and froze. No way, this was certainly wrong. I compared it to the other numbers. Definitely wrong.

"Something's wrong?" he stepped closer, peeking down on me.

"What?" I was so immersed in my thoughts I didn't hear him. "Excuse me," I said boldly and reached for his crotch. Just to make things clear, I wasn't completely myself, otherwise I wouldn't dare to even think about doing so. In that very moment I was simply researcher and nothing else.

Azriel sharply inhaled, eyes widened, but he held still, blushing heavily.

"As I thought," I mumbled to myself releasing him. "Sweetheart, you were supposed to measure yourself when you are.. You know.. 'excited'. I really didn't think you would try to sabotage the research," I tried to joke to lighten his embarrassment. "With your .. equipment.. there's no reason for you to lose. I thought you are quite competitive."

He just silently looked to the side while the shadows danced around him as if trying to hide him.

"Or did you want me to help you with it?" I smiled teasingly. His head snapped up, hazel eyes finding mine. "Sit down there," I pointed to an armchair near the window. While he did as I asked him, I took a chair, placing it next to the armchair, facing the other side. I took the notebook, a towel and a tape measure I used the other day, and sat down on the chair.

I looked at him amused. From this angle I could see only his face and shoulders. "Go ahead. I won't look." With that I opened the notebook looking for the page, but he hadn't moved gazing up at me.

I smiled still leafing through pages. "Let me tell you a secret, okay? We have something in common, Az." I leaned closer to him as if it was really a secret I was about to reveal. "When I say I won't look, then I really won't do it." I looked straight into his eyes to make it clear that I meant it. "I can even measure you without seeing it. I don't need to touch you either. All I need is for this measure to touch you. That's all. So take your pants off and let me know when you are ready."

At this moment he was panting heavily, his pupils dilated. "Do you want me to chit chat you through it? Or do you prefer silence?" I added, arching a brow at him when he just sat there gazing. Finally he moved and I heard as his pants slid down. Azriel's gaze darkened, his eyes never leaving mine.

He swallowed, his broad chest heaving. "I'm ready" he rasped, his usually deep voice deepened even more. I'd be lying if I said it didn't effect me. Now it was my turn to blush.

I handed him the towel. "Cover yourself." I stood up slowly to give him enough time. I turned to him placing notebook on a small side table within arm's reach. I gasped when I looked down at him. My heart went crazy, running for marathon and I could only wish he didn't hear it.

Azriel sat in the armchair in full grace as if it was his throne, his bare legs with muscles on right places spread wide, towel crumpled in his fist. He grinned challengingly.

Okay, maybe we have more than one thing in common. I hate losing, too.

My mouth went dry and I was panting as heavily as Azriel. My head emptied. It took me every ounce of self-control to step between his legs, control my trembling hands and measure him. But I did it, I didn't break.

"Much better," I said coolly as I wrote results down. I collected my things, ready to leave.

"You want to leave me like this, Y/N?" Azriel growled lowly.

I made the mistake and looked into his beautiful eyes. I wasn't sure what I'd seen in them, but it dug out all forgotten feelings. As wave of lust washed over me I lost control over myself. I sat down on the armrest, my legs brushing his thigh lightly. I placed hands on his shoulders and leaned in.

"You are right. I should repay you," I whispered inches from him.

For a while Azriel watched me as a starved man. Slowly, very slowly he erased the distance between us, his soft lips colliding with mine. The moan that came out from his throat made me forget whatever happened after that.

When his fingers found a waistband of my pants and started unbuttoning them, it was like a cold shower. I broke the kiss, untangling my fingers from his silky dark strands. Eyes still closed, his lips followed after me. I squeezed his fingers in my hands and he looked up at me. I could see he wasn't pleased that I stopped him, but he didn't try to pressure me.

"This part of me is not on offer," I said calmly sending him a sad smile. There wasn't reason to be mad. It was my fault in the first place, I was the one to provoke him. "For you it might be just another one night stay that you forget all about very next morning, but I'm different." I stood up fixing my clothes. "I take male to bed only when I have feelings for him and vice versa." He frowned, ready to say something. "I'm trying to say.. for me it isn't just sex.. To do it, I need real relationship, real feelings, security.. Lust isn't enough. I'm sorry." I left quickly and he didn't try to stop me this time.

Next day early in the morning I left to collect data at camps. Work helped me to forget about that night, but as soon as I stopped, it all returned. The most scary thing was to return back to Velaris and meet him. So I extended my stay as much as possible.

Four months later I was sitting in a sitting room of River House, chatting with Feyre and Mor by the fireplace after the family dinner. I collected all data to get some presentable results and currently I was half through writing in down. (Just between us, the rumors have proven to be true. Larger wingspan equals bigger you-know-what)

It was few weeks since I returned to Velaris and so far Azriel was avoiding me as much as possible. When we happened to be in the same room, he didn't even acknowledge me, looking the other side. So much for my fear.

Did it hurt? As hell. He was my friend. The feelings he awakened that night also didn't disappear over night, haunting me down every spare minute I had. I pushed them deep down, but it was too late. I'd already fallen for him.

During our stay at camps, Mor found out that something must have happened before we left, but she'd never asked about it. Which I was very grateful for. I wasn't ready to talk about it.

Now she kept peeking somewhere behind me, biting on her lower lip, unusually silent. Something was obviously bothering her. I could ask her straight away, but I decided to give her 5 minutes to see if she would start to talk on her own. It took exactly 3 minutes.

"Uhm, Y/N, tell me. Something happened between you and Az?"

"I may have hurt his male ego. Why?" I replied as casually as possible.

"He keeps eyeing you and I know that look too well. He watched me like that for five centuries, but it's never turned into something so... Desperate?" She turned to Feyre. "What do you think?"

Feyre inconspicuously peeked behind me, too. "Yeah, definitely desperate. And sad. Rhys said that lately he isn't himself. As if something was wrong with him? Maybe bothered him? But he won't talk about it."

Mor nodded. I had the urge to turn around and see for myself, but I resisted.

"What happened?" Mor asked and Feyre leaned closer, eager for details.

"Well, he kind of misunderstood the situation.. and I told him.. that I don't do the one night stay thing.."

"He actually went after you?" Mor beamed lowering her voice.

"Not really. I might have provoked him a bit," I reluctantly admitted.

They giggled like small girls, looking at each other.

"Y/N, believe me when I tell you that you can't provoke him," Mor whispered enthusiastically. "Nobody is able to break him. He is like.. granite."

"There must be something more behind it," Feyre added. "You should go and talk to him."

"You should," Mor agreed. "He looks to be on the verge of total breakdown." She again peeked behind me. "Go. Right. Now."

They both gave me nod, stood up and moved to another chat group. I stayed alone, just like Azriel who sat in an alcove with window behind me. I inhaled deeply, slowly breathing out. I could at least give it a try. Standing up I took my glass and walked to him.

"Hey."

"Hey," he answered lowly. I hardly heard him. His face was as unreadable as usually, but his impossibly beautiful hazel eyes.. Yeah, they were right. He looked to be on verge of breakdown. Even his posture was all wrong. Slumped shoulders, hunched over, wings hanging down. The shadows hoovered around him like embodiment of his current mood.

"Everything alright?"

He nodded looking away. Ouch. He didn't want to talk with me. I probably hurt his ego more than I thought. I was lost for words. Did he expect me to apologise? I certainly wouldn't do that. I had every right to stop him back then.

Oh, male and their ego. Suddenly memories of my ex flooded my mind. And I got mad. Rage was the only emotion that never disappeared completely nor healed.

I turned around, ready to leave before I could take it out on the wrong person. Strong fingers wrapped around my arm, stopping me. They held me gently, but firmly. I looked back at Azriel and all the rage was gone instantly.

"Would you mind to it down with me?"

I couldn't speak, still shocked by the pain in his eyes. Just when I was seated in the alcove, he released me and sat back down, too. Silence stretched between us.

"I meant to say this much sooner," he started slowly. "I'm so sorry for my poor behaviour. I'm so ashamed." My fingers curled into fist, but I didn't dare to interrupt him. "I know you were just joking to make me feel better, to relax. I knew it even back then. I wish I could explain why I did it, but I can't. I was.. dick."

And how big dick. I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself. This was serious situation. But in all seriousness, he broke the records. Nobody had bigger than him.

"I should have covered with towel as you asked me. I shouldn't have stopped you. I shouldn't have kissed you," he whispered the last sentence. "I should even be sorry that I kissed you, but I am not. I wanted it. Really wanted. Still want it. I'm trash." He stood up quickly. I managed to pull him back down before he could run away. My pulse skyrocketed.

Waitwaitwait. Had he just said that he still wanted to kiss me? My rational part demanded answers. I had to solve this question before my reckless heart could come to own conclusion. I didn't need another heartbreak.

I looked deep into his eyes. I looked only for truth and nothing else. "Tell me, Az, why? Why do you still want it?"

He blushed fiercely and tried to look away, but I wouldn't let him. "Please."

"I..love you," he whispered and my heart stopped for second only to start racing at a crazy pace later.

I wasn't sure he really said that. That must be just my imagination, right? I gazed at beautiful, elegant Elain with big doe eyes sitting on the other side of room, laughing with her sisters. Yeah, I imagined it. But when my eyes slid back to him, he was gazing right back, tensed, waiting.

"I'm sorry. I think I misheard," I smiled nervously.

"I said.. I love you," Azriel repeated quietly, but clearly.

A single tear rolled down my cheek. I didn't think. I couldn't. I just surged forward and hugged him. He stiffened for a heartbeat and then his strong arms wrapped around me and held me firmly. Another tear followed the first one and then another, until it turned into an endless stream. I felt a cool touch of his shadows. They hid us from prying eyes. Or so I thought.

World tilted to the side and we were in my office where it all had started.

"More private," Azriel whispered when I released him to take a look around, confused.

I quickly wiped tears away. "Oh." I still wasn't ready to talk. My head was a total mess. Love. Azriel just told me he loved me. And he was still waiting for my answer. But I wasn't currently able to put the words together to make even a simple sentence.

"Do you need water?" he offered, helping me to sit to an armchair, the very same armchair where he.. Nope, I couldn't think about it now. It would be too much.

What was the question? Ah, water.. Did I need it? I nodded anyway and he handed me a glass. I emptied it immediately.

Azriel watched me carefully as if I could explode any second. I was trying to find something to ground me and my eyes fell to the notebook. "Wingspan," I blurted. His brows furrowed. "You have the largest wingspan."

He huffed in amusement. "Do I?" Azriel took a step back, his eyes were sad again.

Maybe I was crazy, but I reached out and pulled him down on me. "I believe I still haven't repaid for your help."

He shook his head. " You don't have to-"

"I want." I cupped his cheeks between my hands. He hesitated searching my face, his body tensed above me.

Azriel slowly leaned down and kissed me. It was nothing like the last kiss driven by lust and desire. This kiss was careful, exploring. I pushed against his shoulder and we exchanged our positions.

Just like the last time, Azriel was sitting in the armchair and I was above him. I made sure there was space between us. I didn't want to provoke him, sex was out of the question yet. He knew it, too, and kept his hands on my waist.

I deepened the kiss and soon enough we both turned into a panting mess. Azriel's moan startled me.

"I'm sorry," he rasped.

I giggled. "You moaned back then, too."

"I can't help it," he smiled. Azriel leaned forward, keeping small space between us. He hid his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply again and again. "Touch them."

I swallowed. "What?"

"You can touch them," he spread his wings wide around us. "I've never allowed anybody to touch them. But now I want you to do so."

I was speechless second time today. Sacred Illyrian wings and he asked me to touch them. This was Illyrian way to say he trusted me. He trusted me even with his life.

I ran my fingers through his soft hair. "You know that.. there will be no sex today nor any time soon.." I hoped it came out as a joke. Truthful, but still joke.

He laughed breathlessly. "I know. That doesn't change the fact I want you to touch them. You said you want to repay me. So please.." He kissed the sensitive spot under my ear.

He got me there. If he only knew what he had called upon himself. I wanted to touch them, badly, but not only because they were his. I wanted it because I was the damn researcher which equals to a monster at times. I longed to feel the texture of the skin, to feel every single bone and muscle in them, everything.

"Are you really sure about this?" My attention was already trained on the beautiful enormous wings around me. This was his last chance to back out of this.

"Absolutely. So put those damn little hands of yours on them already," he rasped, landing another kiss to that sensitive spot.

He didn't need to repeat it again.

I gasped as tips of my fingers traced the soft skin around the bone. It. Was. Perfect. I expected them to be cold and rough to touch. Even though I touched him just lightly, I could feel every single muscle, even the smallest ones. The bone seemed to be so fragile and strong at the same time. Skin was so warm, stretchy and impossibly soft like baby's skin. I mapped every vein running through the membranes, his pulse drumming under my hands. I traced every scarred tissue I found, paying it extra attention.

I was so immersed into exploring his wings that I hadn't noticed what my curiosity did to Azriel until he came under me with a wall shattering roar. I winced, looking down at him.

His head was tilted back, eyes closed tightly. He was trembling and panting, his broad chest heaving heavily. Streams of sweat were running down the column of his exposed neck. His hands were fisting the material of armrests so tightly he almost torn it into shreds.

I couldn't believe I'd missed something so..amazing. Azriel was a piece of art in every possible meaning. My fingers traced the vein that bobbed out on his neck. He shuddered, his eyes slowly opened, looking up at me. Shadowsinger smiled weakly. "Only you can do this to me," his voice was hoarse.

I brushed away a damp strand of hair that fell to his forehead. My heart was beating wildly as I leaned in and kissed him slowly and deeply. His hands embraced me, pulling me closer.

"I love you," I whispered to his mouth.

I wasn't scared anymore. In this very moment I was more confident than ever that I would spend the rest of my life with this perfect male. Because he was mine and I was his.

[k-daydreams]

The Pursuit of Feeling Alive: III. Bratty Behavior

Pairing: fem!reader x azriel, platonic!innercircle

Synopsis: cousin to Rhysand and Morrigan, y/n was once her family’s golden child. Faced with trials and tribulations her whole life, she needed reprieve— a distraction. Until a surprise homecoming opens Pandora’s box, and gives y/n a reality check. Especially facing her once close friend Azriel. Friends to Enemies to lovers trope.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: swearing, trauma, reader being shitty, slow slow burn, mor and Cassian being readers moral sanity, filler chapter, grammatical errors lmao

Authors note: hellooo! So this is kinda a filler since what I was writing for this part was so long. Next part will really be juicy I promise! Thank you guys for so much love on the last part, I hope y’all will like this! Not a lot of Az has been in this part, mainly talking about him in 3rd person, but I promise hold on hope y’all get him in action in the next!! Lmk what you guys think

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

"Rhysand isn't impressed with Azriel," Mor declared, her knife slicing through a piece of meat. "To be honest, Y/n, I could genuinely throttle him." She took a bite of her food before continuing.

It was your first night back in Velaris, and the inner circle, along with the company, was aware of what had happened between Azriel and you. Well, at least what Cassian, Nesta, and Elain had witnessed. Rhys and Feyre hadn't approached you about it yet; Mor mentioned they wanted to spare you any further distress for the time being. Typically when one of the inner circle members had returned home from something, Rhys would have organized a celebratory family dinner, but he had decided against it for now. Instead, you and Mor dined alone in the House of Wind tonight.

Nonchalantly, you shrugged and took a sip from your wine glass. "Just another tantrum from that Illyrian man-child. Nothing new, really." You tried to sound relaxed, not wanting your friends and family to worry about you or the argument. You didn't want Azriel to know his words had cut you deeply or give him any satisfaction. You had already shown him just how much they had affected you. The impact was tangible—you had been restless, tossing and turning in bed for the past few nights, with no appetite to eat. Your homecoming was supposed to mark the beginning of your healing journey, yet here you were, starving and sleep-deprived due to the nonsense uttered by a man who thought he knew you.

Mor nodded knowingly, her napkin dabbing at her lips. "He had no right to speak to you like that," she said, her voice firm. "He knows that, no matter what, you're family. That's why we came back for you when Helion sent word. He knows we would do the same for any member of our family and to disregard you so quickly like that."

Disheartened, you let out a sigh. "I don't know, Mor. I knew we ended things on a sour note, but it's been nearly 60 years since then. I thought he would have moved on."

Her food momentarily forgotten, Mor nearly choked when you made that statement. "Please tell me you didn't just say that," she responded incredulously.

What do you mean?"

She stared at you intensely, her eyes burning into your soul as you went blank. "Seriously?" Perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. "I've seen you hold grudges for centuries, and yet you expect him to forgive you for an argument that happened over half a century ago?"

Both of you fell silent, studying each other across the table. Mor's loyalty to Azriel, despite never reciprocating his feelings, was unwavering—just as yours had been in the past. At times, it made you question if her feelings for him were truly nonexistent, like now. A queasiness churned in your stomach, and your head throbbed with a dull ache. Perhaps drinking on an empty stomach hadn't been the best idea, especially when thoughts of Mor and Azriel intertwined.

You cleared your throat, a newfound coldness lacing your tone as you spoke up. "Every grudge I've held has been a result of something more severe than an argument," you stated, fidgeting with the table linen. "An argument, mind you, that happened because he didn't want me to follow Rhys."

Mor retorted sharply, "Look where that got you." Your heart started pounding, your ears heating. Your gaze dropped in her direction, and a familiar flame ignited within you. "What he did was fucked up, but Y/n, you can be a stubborn brat." You opened your mouth to object, but she raised a hand to stop you. "I'm not trying to be rude. I say this because I care about you. But it's time to own up to your mistakes. Only then, maybe, just maybe, you can find peace again."

Mor's tough love never felt good, but you knew it always came from a place of good intentions. Angry and devastated, you found it hard to accept hearing all that. Sure, you could be opinionated and stubborn at times, but reducing yourself to a brat felt unjust.

Draining your wine, you replied, "I had hoped for a civil conversation with him whenever we did talk." Mor looked skeptical, likely not fully believing you. You did have a record for the last century or so with picking arguments, you blamed being around Mor and Amren so much, and maybe a lot of repressed feelings.

Despite her irritation with you, Mor reached out and took your hand in hers, comforting you with gentle circles on the back of it, like a mother would. "When it comes to you, it seems his shadows turn to flames."

There was so much you wanted to say, but you remained silent, allowing her words to echo in your mind. You couldn't quite grasp their cryptic meaning, but you didn’t want to indulge in the topic too much longer. Mor let go of your hand, standing up. "Feel like grabbing a drink at Rita's?" she asked, her tone changing, a small smirk forming. A way to nurse your wounds.

Shaking your head, you replied, "Not tonight. I need to rest. Traveling today drained me. But thank you." You offered a tight-lipped smile.

"Sweet dreams, little star," Mor said, patting your head before walking away.

The once-dull headache now throbbed prominently in your forehead, and you cradled your head in discomfort. Mor’s conversation seemed to reflect the same argument you had a few days prior with Azriel. Though not filled with as malicious intent as his did, it still left you feeling just as scorned. The house cleared the table immaculately as you stood to make your way to your room.

The hallways were quiet and deserted, illuminated by the dim twinkle of faelights illuminating the red stone of the walls. Each light flickered slightly in your presence before dimming again, but you were too weary to care about such peculiarities of your powers. The House of Wind sprawled endlessly, a labyrinth of doors and spiraling stairs within the mountainside. A few new paintings and plants adorned the halls, likely additions from the High Lady and her sister, but it all remained as you remembered.

When you enter your room, a plate with an assortment of delectable cheese and crackers, accompanied by a tall, refreshing glass of water. Along with a small container of headache powder sat patiently on your bedside table. A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you witnessed the house meticulously pulling back your sheets, reminiscent of the way it used to prepare your bed during your childhood days. Gently placing your night clothes at the foot of the bed, a smile of gratitude graced your face, silently expressing your appreciation to the house. It seemed that Rhys had been right about something you thought once you were in bed getting pulled into a restless sleep.

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You trudged begrudgingly through the halls of the endless mansion. Feyre had roused you from slumber earlier that morning, informing you of a meeting with the inner circle in an hour. Though you harbored little desire to attend, it was the first order by your new High Lady, making it a matter of importance. You hated how far your room was from the war room. Wishing you had wings, even better, you wished you had a room closer to one of the rooms you frequented the most. Finally almost out of breath, you made it to the entrance. You stalked into the room, you found Amren, Cassian, Lucien, Azriel, and Mor already settled in their seats.

"Tsk, tsk, fashionably late to your first meeting?" Cassian playfully jabbed at you. Walking past him, you discreetly flicked the back of his head, eliciting a muttered "brat" as he dramatically nursed the imaginary injury.

Your steps faltered for a moment, as that word—brat—pricked at your annoyance. Not letting it fester too much, you take a seat between Mor and Lucien. Sitting across from Cassian and Amren, with Azriel positioned diagonally next to his brother, you could feel his intense gaze fixed upon you. Determined not to shudder or shift under his scrutiny, you resolved not to let him see how deeply his words affected you. Deep down, however, you couldn't deny the lingering care you held for him, or the way his presence had consumed your thoughts over the past week like a plague.

"I don't see Feyre and Rhysand, so technically I'm not late," you declared, a smug tone coloring your words.

"Actually, they had other matters to attend to," Amren replied indifferently. It had been less than an hour since you last saw Feyre, leaving you puzzled as to what could have transpired in such a short span of time. Cassian nudged your foot under the table, a silent reminder of his earlier warning. Narrowing your eyes, you retaliated by kicking his shin, relishing in his sharp intake of breath as he winced. "Relax, Y/n!" he exclaimed, while you concealed your smirk, leaning back in your chair with crossed arms.

"Must you be so childish?" Azriel's voice snapped at you, catching you off guard.

Cassian stared at his brother in shock, attempting to defend your actions. “Brother I had started it-“

Beside him, the spymaster exhaled, regaining his composure. "I don't care who started it; I want to get through this as quickly as possible.” he requested, his tone cold.

"Yes, please," you muttered under your breath. The shadowsinger shot you a look.

Though you sensed he had more to say, Amren began speaking before another argument could erupt, cutting straight to the point. "We haven't visited the Court of Nightmares in quite some time. It's about time we made an appearance; I'm sure they're on the brink of chaos by now."

Mor sucked in her teeth, and you could hear Lucien gulp audibly, clearly apprehensive at the thought. You bit your lip anxiously.

"I won't be able to attend. Rhysand, specifically Feyre, has requested that you, Y/n, take the reins tonight," Amren announced, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes. She seemed unfazed by the prospect of missing out on the formal affair. Uncertainty flickered across the faces of those from the inner circle, unsure of how you would receive the order, except for Azriel, whose expression remained inscrutable.

You fidgeted with your fingers, picking at the hangnails. Before Amarantha, you had taken pleasure in Rhys entrusting you with these meetings, where you handled official business between the Court of Dreams and Nightmares. It had been empowering to witness your family obeying your orders, having spent so long following theirs, only to be shunned upon your return in the aftermath of one of the darkest days of your life. Your parents were ready to condemn you for treason when they first laid eyes on you. That’s when Rhys had appointed you as an emissary. Primarily since you had spent the most time in the court knowing the ins and outs, and as a sick punishment for your family.

Now, anxiety gripped you as memories you had desperately tried to suppress from your childhood. Those memories now attached with the new ones you sought to repress from your encounter with Amarantha. It became increasingly difficult to focus on Amren's words as your gaze wandered blankly through the expansive window behind her, stretching from the floor to the ceiling.

"Azriel will be right beside you for protection throughout the night, Cassian will accompany Mor, with Lucien joining them," Amren continued, a hint of wariness in her words.

"Why-why can't Cass be by my side?" you stammered. "He's a general for a reason." You had an inkling to why Azriel had always been at your side when you’d be in charge of this responsibility, but you also wanted him nowhere near you. Didn’t anyone else think that him and you together was an awful idea at the moment?

"Because Azriel has a more intimidating effect on your family," Amren replied, looking knowingly at him. Azriel remained stoic, mirroring your own defensive posture—scarred muscular arms crossed, leaning back in his chair, stil as a statue. "As I said, it's been some time since we made an appearance. Who knows what they might do? We can't risk any harm coming to the Princess on her first days back at court," she added mockingly. Rolling your eyes, you fought the urge to offer her a vulgar gesture. For that remark alone, she could certainly go to hell.

"Cassian will come to fetch you later, so you can all gather at the townhouse and winnow together," Amren concluded nonchalantly. "Now, I need to speak with Mor and Cassian privately. You three are dismissed; I'm sure Azriel and Y/n are just itching to throw themselves off the dining room veranda by now." She said to you, Lucien, and Azriel. She was right about one thing, you thought to yourself, your chair scraping against the floor as you stood, eager to escape the war room as quickly as possible.

You closed the door to your room, and fell into your bed screaming into the mattress. You were frustrated, overwhelmed, and exhausted from lack of sleep. A small commotion on your nightstand made you jump, looking up, a medium box now laid on the stand. An envelope attached to a deep purple ribbon wrapped around the gift. You sat up, and grabbed it, opening the paper.

‘Give them hell tonight, you've earned it little star. -R&F’

Inside the box was a diadem of silver, stars of different shapes hung all adorning the chain encrusted in emeralds, diamonds of different hues, and sapphires for you to wear tonight. You sighed, a new feeling slithering through your veins. Maybe this was Rhysand’s way of giving you therapy. You all played a game and made a show down in the court of nightmares that the inner circle all got a kick out of at one point or another. Maybe playing the act was what you needed? You had let your mental shield down, letting your thoughts empty to nothing, hoping Rhys would be paying attention.

You planned this intentionally? You thought once your mind was blank.

Me? What would make you think so? Rhys purred in your mind.

You rolled your eyes. Mhm, you two just had to conveniently leave all of a sudden?

That’s a matter for tomorrow, just try not to torture someone to death tonight, especially not our spymaster. He taunted.

Your spymaster, no promises. You clarified.

Have fun, little star. You could feel him poking at your mind to signal he was no longer there.

You threw your shield up, and laid back on your bed. Tonight was going to be interesting.

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

You fixed your lip shine in the mirror, finishing the final touches to your look before a rhythmic knock on your ajar door sounded.

“You ready?” Cassian peaked before walking into the room.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

He let out a low whistle as he examined you. “Your family’s not gonna like that.”

“That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” You smirked despite a brief heat rising to your cheeks.

The gown you chose was something you had saved for a trip specifically for the court of nightmares before you had been trapped under the mountain. The bodice had long sleeves and was skin tight, black crystal branches wrapping up your arms, and up your waist with thicker branches covering your chest. The skirt billowed with several layers of gossamer, much like the gown you wore in the day court just several days prior, but had slits dangerously high risking a reveal of your hip bones unlike the other gown. You wore the highest heels you had in your closet that were sure to make you grumpy just by standing in them for more than a couple minutes— exactly why you chose them. Then the diadem that Rhys and Feyre gifted you graced the top of your head and shimmered in the faelight of your room that flickered in your wake, when you felt the satisfaction from Cass’s comment.

He clicked his tongue, crossing his arms. “I don’t think I even like that.” Then he noticed the slits in the fabric. Rubbing a hand over his face in disbelief. “Mother of the cauldron Y/n, are you even wearing anything under that dress?” He made a face which made you laugh out loud.

“Pig, no need to worry about that!” You slapped his arm lightly before looping yours through it.

“You’re right I don’t want to know.” He shook his head. Cassian was always your comedic relief from your worries, and you were thankful that hadn’t changed. “Could you let Nesta borrow it?” He suggested cheekily.

You groaned disgustedly, “then I would have to burn it afterwards.”

“Good, I don’t want to see you in this gown again after tonight.”

“You’re not my father.” You teased as you two walked out to the balcony.

“Yeah but in my head you’ll always be like my little sister, no matter how much of a brat you are.” He nudged you.

“I hate that word,” you admitted, preparing yourself for flight.

He picked you up bridal style as if you weighed nothing in his arms. You adjusted the fabric so it wouldn’t fly up mid flight. “You know it’s true.” He said, his wings rustling, preparing himself.

You gave him a pointed look, “I’m considering it’s true.” Providing a pinch to his bicep. Without warning he took off into the night sky of Velaris, teasingly loosening his grip on you like he was going to drop you.

“If you keep hurting me, I’ll have to sic my mate on you.” A mischievous glint in his eyes.

“She probably knows you deserve it.” You watched the city below light up under the starry sky.

“Touché,” he smiled. He looked in thought as a silence fell over you two letting you admire Velaris below. You hadn’t had a chance to explore the city since your return, today would’ve been the day if it weren’t for the meeting in the court of nightmares. You could see the rainbow quarters perfectly from above and hear the music in the distance. The stars and moon were close to you as well, the music and being so close the light brought solace to any nerves you may have had. It prickled softly at your skin, seeping into your skin.

“I could guess one person who’ll be excited to see you.” Cassian broke the momentary silence.

“Don’t say his name,” you begged, seeing the angle he was trying to pull.

“Who, Azriel?” He grinned broadly.

“My peace is ruined,” you deadpanned, him chuckling at your disdain.

“Don’t let him being an asshole deter you. He’s been all bent out of shape since your absence. I think he’s just hurt deep down, and those little shadows that are always in his ear when you're around doesn’t help.”

You listened to Cassian ramble, confusion filling you. “You haven’t heard everything he's said to me.”

He relaxed a bit, soaring lower, the familiar townhouse now in your view. “I haven’t heard everything you've said to him either, and I don’t think it’s my business or my right to say anything on the matter given my record. Sometimes you say shit in the heat of the moment, sometimes you say shit to hide what’s actually going on underneath it all. One thing I know whenever it comes to you he’s always all up in arms. Not even Elain can do that to him. I didn’t even see him like that with Mor besides that one time.” He cleared his throat awkwardly, getting ready to land. You gripped his neck tighter, bracing yourself.

“When you’re not annoying, you’re actually wise y’know that?” You were in awe at his words. You weren’t sure how true his interpretation was, but for now it brought you slight comfort and ease about the Azriel situation. He landed with his wings slightly fluttering about, shaking off the wind of the night. He gently set you down, and you tried adjusting yourself now that you were standing. You went to fix the diadem, but Cass pushed your hand away lightly, doing it for you.

“I would hope so, year 600 is creeping up on me fast.”

You laughed softly, “you're about to be an old man.”

“Yeah let’s not talk about that, we’re talking about you remember?” He fixed a loose piece of hair that was out of place. “Try not to let him get to you too much tonight or at least channel it into you being all scary and brooding. I’ve missed you in court, it hasn't been the same.”

“Thank you Cass, and I’m sorry for not visiting.” You said sincerely.

Pulling you into his arms for an embrace, he sighed. “I figured you needed space. There’s nothing wrong with that. Rhys went to the cabin after he came out from under there. You just went to the day court for almost a decade long sabbatical.” He shrugged casually. “You can repay me by training again once you’re settled.” You nodded, pulling away. He wrapped his arm around you, “C’mon we have a party to get to.”

Lucien, Morrigan, and Azriel waited for you two. Azriel was the first to look up at the sound of your heels clicking on floor into the foyer of the townhouse. His hazel eyes darkened, eyebrows slightly narrowing, and jaw clenched at the sight of you. Your heart skipped a beat as his eyes traced your body, lingering at the top of the slits of the gown that could expose your hip bones at any sudden movement, before taking in your bare legs that were accentuated by the uncomfortable heels. You felt a warmth in your core that betrayed any ill feelings towards the spymaster, and you had to take a deep breath to calm yourself. You never knew a look would be able to enthrall you so much and ignite such feelings.

He was in his more formal fighting leathers, muscles at full display even underneath the leather, his hair neatly styled back, sciphons glowing under the light of the common room. He was god-like, you couldn’t deny that. Not rugged looking like Cassian or as regal as Rhys, but he was beautiful. You wanted to be sick at thinking these thoughts. His shadows whispered in his ears as he stared at you. You couldn’t discern the look in his eyes as Mor approached you.

“Oh my, my fathers gonna croak, I love it!” She squealed looking at the patterns on your dress. “But we do have to get going, Y/n winnow Cass?” She looked at the male beside you.

You were about to agree, but Azriel spoke up. “I think I should be with her. Just in case. Amren said they’re possibly at a brink of chaos.” His voice was gravelly, and your heart pounded erratically at the huskiness in his tone.

“O-okay? Cassian, let’s come on then.” She looked at you, your eyes were wide in surprise.

Azriel approached you, and his scent of cedar and mist filled your senses making you want to melt even more. You only cleared your throat, straightening your back as his scarred arm reached around you pulling you closer to him as you got ready to winnow. You could feel the rough pad of his thumb near the top of the slit of your dress making your mind blank. His shadows swirled around your wrists in greeting for the first time since you’ve seen him, and you could feel your cheeks heat up.

Mor and Cassian disappeared along with Lucien right behind them. Azriel’s body heat and movement of his hand on your hip was making you flushed, unable to concentrate. Then his lips were close to your ear and you could feel his cool breath on your neck.

“Whatever happens tonight, don’t take it to heart.” The grip on your hip had tightened, and you could feel the sheath of truth-teller in your lower back.

You looked up to him, even wearing your tallest heels he had towered over you, observing the deadly calm on his face. Your gaze lingered on his lips for a second before flirting back to his intense hazel orbs.

You said barely above a whisper, scared your voice would betray your words. “You forget I’m great at this game, shadowsinger.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

[x] previous chapter [x] next chapter

Aaaaand we’re off to the races besties!! I had so much fun writing this part! I hope you’re excited as I am for the next one!!

Taglist: @tcris2020 @rachelnicolee @thelov3lybookworm @bubybubsters @mich0731 @t0uch-starved-h0e @penguins-are-the-best @justagingerliving @brekkershadowsinger @jiinmii

If I missed any of you just lmk!

[bellezaycafe]

Get Your Shit Together - Chapter 6

genre: 2024 Season AU

pairing: Romantic! oc x two people because y'all voted on a triangle ;). platonic! oc x literally the whole grid.

warnings: lots swearing, mentions of the accident and crimes, discussions about gangs, mentions of bars and alcohol. Paranoia and an argument. love triangle crumbs

context: Part 1 and Masterlist…

Comments: massive lore drop but I've tried to keep the story moving and interesting. I'm a sucker for small details so I hope y'all have good memories ;)

"I'm in a witness protection program."

Sadie clenched her jaw, unsure what else to say. Lando and Max were silent.

"What did you see?" Lando's voice was so soft Sadie barely heard him over the road noise.

Her right hand flexed on the steering wheel. "I can't tell you that."

"Why did you volunteer?"

"Because I love F1."

Max chimed in. "You said it's too public, too many cameras."

"What I reported happened after Melbourne and just before SIlverstone. I- I think it would be better if I just told you, wouldn't it."

"Yes," Lando muttered, not meeting her glance.

"Okay, well. I was working a bar in Sydney and witnessed a crime. I was seen calling the cops and..." She took a deep breath. "And let's just say that I had dobbed on someone dangerous. Someone influential and known to police."

"You snitched on a gangster?" Lando's wide eyes would have made Sadie laugh in any other situation. "A real life gangster?"

"I didn't know who they were! I was cornered in an alley the next day and after that I spent all of my money on a two week stay in England. From there, I reported the attempted assault and was told to stay in England for the two weeks. The police said they could use that time to get me into witness protection and set up the right safeguards, if I anonymously testify in court. It happened to be the Grand Prix weekend, so I volunteered instead of sitting around."

"Attempted assault?" Max stressed.

Sadie glanced at him in the rear view and her silence was answer enough. You don't need to know.

"Let me get this right. You snitched on a gang, were threaten and then ran to England?!"

"Yeah, pretty much." Her tone didn't match her racing heart.

"What happened to 'too many cameras'?" Lando toyed with his silver necklace.

"Obviously I didn't consider how dramatically you were going to break your ankle in turn, whatever it was. I figured, as a medic, I’d spend a lot of time in areas with very few to no cameras.”

Sadie glanced at the phone Lando showed her and, with one hand on the wheel, swung them left and down a small side street.

“You are right, though,” Max observed. “The reporters aren’t allowed in the medical tents unless they’re unwell themselves.”

“Is that why you’re in Melbourne? Are you from Sydney?” She could hear curiosity in Lando’s voice.

“It’s complicated.” Sadie grimaced.

“It’s seems like everything is,” Max muttered.

“Oh, shush,” she joked. She knew it had landed when both boys smiled slightly. “I grew up just outside of Melbourne. I’ve been working back at that bar since I was 18. I took some unofficial leave in June to experience working in another city while we had extra staff. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have chosen Sydney.”

The boys were quiet as Sadie explained her time working at bars in Sydney and enjoying the nightlife of another city. She talked about the move up there and the sudden disappearance to England. Some of her stuff was still in Sydney, including some personal keepsakes like a bracelet from her mother. Sadie explained that Lewis and Max knew about the witness protection, but nothing further. She’d only told them when they visited her in hospital the day after the accident and after some significant convincing. She answered questions about her leg and how it had healed, which had turned out to be quite well.

“How much physio did you have to do?” There was guilt in Lando’s question.

“Just some at home things, it was quite easy,” Sadie admitted. She didn’t want to elaborate on the facts she hadn’t done any official physio because she couldn’t afford it. Australian public health care was good, but not that good. “How well has the ankle healed?”

“It was slower than I wanted but I’m cleared for next season which is good.”

Max grumbled, “but he didn’t stop complaining about it for months.”

“I was in pain, mate!”

“I know! You told me every chance you got!”

Sadie smiled at their banter, glad they weren’t holding up walls of suspicion anymore.

As she pulled up to the Piastri Family home, she cleared her throat. “I- ummm… It was good to see you again Lando, and good to meet you Max.”

“Oh no,” Lando chided. “We’re not done, I am not letting you just drive into the sunset again.”

“It’s already dark,” Sadie pointed out. “And that’s not what happened the first time.”

“And on that note, I’m out,” Max exclaimed. “It was lovely to meet you, Sadie. Thank you for what you did at Silverstone.”

He jumped out of the car before she could say anything and practically ran to the red front door of a small, low set home.

Lando undid his seatbelt and turned to face her, pulling a leg onto the seat.

“Sadie, you vanished.”

Straight into then.

“I feel better seeing that you’re in one piece, and not hearing it from news,” she murmured.

“That’s what you have to say?” he scoffed.

Sadie pushed down irritation. She might struggle to stay in one place for very long, but she was a patient person who had drawers of calm, collected masks to choose from.

When she didn’t answer, Lando shook his head and closed his eyes.

“How do you think I felt?” he snapped. “Lewis told me you had stitches. How many? I know you can walk, but how long did it take for the limp to go away? Did you need crutches? Because you know that I did, and you know how long I needed them for.”

“How much did Lewis tell you?”

“You’re focusing on the wrong thi-“

“How much, Lando?”

The panicked edge to her voice had Lando pausing, looking closer at her face through whatever haze was over his mind.

“Just that,” he breathed. “He told me you’d needed stitches but were okay. He wouldn’t tell me anything else.”

The fist around Sadie’s heart relaxed slightly as she sighed with relief. “Okay, as long as it was just that.”

“You’re scared,” he stated like he’d only just noticed. His watercolour eyes were lit slightly by a nearby street lamp. They appeared hazel in that light and it was a detail Sadie wished she hadn’t noted.

“I’m paranoid,” she replied just as curtly.

“I was scared,” he admitted, breaking the eye contact.

“That’s fair. If your ankle didn’t heal properly, your career might’ve been over.”

“No, that’s not- Well I was scared about that but I meant that I was scared for you.”

Sadie frowned. “What? Why?”

“I didn’t know if you were okay! You put yourself on the line for me, you saved my life and I didn’t know if you were okay!”

“I didn’t save your life,” she scoffed. “It wasn’t headed for your heart.”

“I rewatched the footage,” Lando confessed with a sheepish smile. “If you hadn’t put yourself between me and the track? The debris would have hit me and my career could have been over.”

“Your career, Lando. Not your life.” Her voice was the softest it had been all night. It even surprised her.

“My racing is my life, Sadie.”

“I-“ but he cut her off.

“I never got to thank you in person.”

“You can do it now.”

“No.”

“Why the fuck not?” Her patience was slipping. She pulled another mask from the drawer.

“I think you’d take it as closure, or something. Then you’d leave and I would never see you again.”

He wasn’t wrong. She’d began to form a plan on how to give him the answers he needed, and then vanish again. He was a liability to her safety.

“Would that be so bad?”

“Yes.” No hesitation.

She didn’t know what to say to that. Sadie couldn’t bring herself and meet the gaze she could feel on her.

“Max almost punched a reporter,” Lando said.

That had her looking up at him, a confused smile on her lips.

“What?”

“In the media pen, Max almost punched a reporter that wouldn’t stop asking about you.”

A laugh bubbled out of Sadie. Max Verstappen? Protecting the young woman who had ego-checked him at Albert Park?

“I’m serious!” Lando insisted, but his smile was widening. “The guy asked every driver, but Lewis and Max had already told everyone to say nothing. The reporter was so frustrated at getting ‘no comment’ from every driver. Max’s interview was second or third last and the reporter asked something so out of pocket. If you find the interview you can see Max trying not to hit the guy.”

Sadie laughed again, and she caught Lando grinning in her peripheral vision.

“I did make him swear on his championship,” she commented it.

“What?” It was obvious that detail was also new to Lando.

“After the incident, while we were still at the track, I made Lewis promise to hide me from the media. Max visited my hotel room a few days later, and I made him swear the same thing.”

“On his championship?” Lando was trying to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah.” Sadie couldn’t hold back her own.

They laughed for a few minutes at the absurd notion of Max swearing anything on his championship.

“Jesus,” Lando sighed. “That makes so much more sense now.”

“What does?”

“I tried to find you, after a month. Fuck, I even tried to rope half the grid into helping me find you, but Lewis and Max always shut it down. They never told my why, but I guess that’s it.”

“I’m not going to apologise for trying to protect myself.”

“You’re good at protecting,” he said.

It wasn’t the most random comment he’d made that night but it was the one that stuck out the most.

Sadie didn’t know how to reply.

She didn’t have a chance to think about it when she saw a shadowy figure moving toward the car.

“Lando, get out of sight,” she warned.

He was too shocked by the immediate change in demeanour and topic.

“What?”

“Just- oh. Nevermind.”

As the figure came closer, they stepped into the lamplight and Sadie recognised Oscar Piastri.

“It’s Piastri,” she breathed.

Lando wound down his window and waved.

Oscar leant down, rested both arms across the opened window and glanced between them.

“Hey, how are you?” He began.

“Could be better,” Sadie quipped with a joking smile.

“I’m trying to convince her to stay,” Lando explained.

Oscar raised an eyebrow. “Stay the night or-“

“No, Oscar!” Lando laughed and Sadie couldn’t help but like sound.

“He means in your lives. But I can’t.”

Oscar tilted his head sideways quizzically and some of his hair fell into his eyes. “Can’t or won’t.”

“Both.”

“You make it sound like you don’t have a choice,” he observed.

“She does,” Lando said at the same time as Sadie’s “I don’t.”

“Lando, I-“

“No, Sadie you do have a choice. Not every part of our lives is public.”

“I’m still very confused,” Oscar added.

Sadie’s patience slipped again. “Piastri, I fucked with some dangerous people, and I can’t let them find me. Lando, you don’t have a private life. If you’re not doing Formula One, you’re doing Quadrant; if you’re not doing Quadrant, you’re partying with Martin Garrix; and if you’re not partying, you’re posting something on Instagram. You live an incredibly public life, and that’s okay, but I can’t join that in any regard.”

Lando looked at her with stunned silence. Oscar was watching her with a very concerned expression. She pointed at him with an intense stare.

"You might think your life is fairly private, but when you post on social media everyone nit-pics at it because of how rare your posts are. And every sighting of you is scrutinised.”

A smile quirked at the corner of his mouth but he didn’t say anything.

Sadie pulled in a deep breath and pulled on another mask from the drawer.

“I’m sorry, to both of you, but I’m going to vanish again. I have to.”

“Are you in witness protection?” Oscar asked.

Sadie nodded with a frown. He’d put it together fast.

“When’s the court date?” Oscar’s deep brown were intensely focused on her.

“Wednesday, next week. I will be testifying anonymously.”

“So even if they have gang members who aren’t convicted, they won’t know it was you.” Lando pressed, catching onto Oscar’s train.

“Gang members?” Oscar’s went up an octave.

Sadie waved off the question and focused on Lando. “I see where this is going.”

“Then you can see why I’m right.” His eyes were set on hers, a hand set on the handbrake between them.

Sadie sighed and closed her eyes.

“All of the members who saw my face will be going on trial. A few of them have been convicted already.”

“So after next week, you won’t be in witness protection anymore.” Lando pressed.

“That will depend on whether they’re all convicted and how long their jail time is.”

As Sadie spoke, Oscar pulled out his wallet and an old receipt. He pulled a random marker from another pocket and wrote something on the back before handing them both to Lando. He took this hint and wrote something as well.

When he handed it to her, Sadie noted both their phone numbers and tiny signatures at the end of them.

“Text when the trial is over. Just a yes or no. A yes doesn’t mean that you’re going to to be thrust into the spot light. It’s a maybe.” Oscar said, running a hand through his brown hair.

“It’s a maybe I could thank you properly." Lando added. "A random dinner or a paddock pass to which ever race you want.”

That brought a small smile to Sadie’s face.

“Everyone at McLaren would want to thank you,” Oscar added, but there was a tightness to his jaw Sadie hadn’t noticed until then.

She caved.

“Alright maybe,” she said. “I’ll keep this but I'm not promising you anything.”

Oscar's soft smile said that's enough, but Lando's slight frown meant he wasn't ready to give up. Oscar noted it.

"Lando," he interrupted whatever the older driver was thinking. "Mum made chocolate cake while you were out and wants you to try it."

"She knows about our diets right?"

"She'll insist until you fly out."

Lando sighed with an amused smile and opened his door.

"I'm not going to say thank you, not yet. I'm not even going to say goodbye."

"It might be your only chance," Sadie reminded him.

Lando shook his head as he stood, brown curls waving in the small breeze. Oscar pushed his door shut gently and ducked his head back through the window.

They watched Lando walk away, oblivious to the fact Oscar wasn't on his heals.

"I saw it happen, at Silverstone," Oscar murmured. "I saw you make the choice."

"I didn't choose. I reacted. There was no choice, or thought process, or thoughts at all, actually. It was just an action."

"An action we're all grateful for, but-" His voice dropped, as if Lando would hear him if he was any louder. "- I want to thank you for making that choice, or doing that action, whatever."

"Stop," Sadie demanded. "Stop, Piastri."

He did. The first one to stop the first time she asked.

She pulled in a deep breathe and calmly explained, "I did what I did. It happened. I know you're all grateful, but it has to stay at that. This is not a movie, where a chance meeting leads to years of friendship."

"I wouldn't call being hospitalised for being a human shield, a chance encounter," Oscar noted dryly.

"You get my point," she replied.

"I do, and I think I understand." He stepped away from the car. "You have our numbers. Call us and we will be there."

Sadie smiled slightly but didn't give him any hope.

"Go, before Lando comes back out."

"It was good to meet you, Piastri."

"Good luck, Sadie."

With that, the handbrake was off, car in gear and she was gone.

----$----

I know y'all loved the Max/Sadie dynamic in chapters 1 and 2 so how about some more Max content next chapter? ;)

Masterlist…

Taglist; @snubug

[unknown-lab]

What is Love? (Part 2)

Pairing: Dazai Osamu x reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Cheating

Part 1: What is Love?

Here you go, part 2! This is kinda rushed, and I wasn't planning on making part 2, but a lot of people requested for it. So here it is, enjoy!

Amidst whispered echoes, they proclaimed the essence of existence. With hope blooming, I embraced a fleeting glimpse of bliss, only to witness his departure. If this is what so-called normal life is, I'd rather not go through it again.

So here I am, leaning on the balcony railing, gazing at the view before me. A theme park lies not far away, where Dazai and I would go on dates. It was a joyful place, and I imagine him now, perhaps creating new memories with someone else, riding roller coasters together. On the other side, there's a beach—a serene spot Dazai would take me to when life became overwhelming. It may not have been as thrilling as the theme park, but it offered solace. Could they be there now, strolling together and reminiscing, just as we used to?

To others, the view would be filled with vibrant colors, but for me, it's now shrouded in shades of gray, black, and white. No vibrant hues remain. Ah, if I were to leap from this 20th-floor balcony, where would I end up? Heaven or Hell? There seems to be nothing left to lose; I've already lost everything.

Climbing onto the railing, I hold onto the wall for support, tears streaming down my cheeks. Why… Why must I endure this pain? Why is it that others can simply live happily…? If I take that leap, everything will come to an end…

Suddenly, a door slams, jolting me from my thoughts. Before I can react, a strong force pulls me back, wrapping me in a warm embrace. Held tightly, I find solace in the arms that envelop me, soothing my anguish. It feels as though this person understands my pain. In that moment, I don't care who he is—all I want is to release everything I've been holding inside. And deep down, I sense that he's not a bad person.

As the storm within me subsides, I look up at him, still cradled in his embrace. Slowly, I pull away and ask, "Why are you here?" This person before me is my therapist, whom I've been seeing for the past two years. I used to have numerous issues before I met Dazai, and my therapist and I would have weekly sessions. However, as time went on and I grew closer to Dazai, our meetings became less frequent—sometimes once a month or even longer intervals.

"You missed your appointment. And… you mentioned that if you ever missed one, I should come to check on you." He releases me and gently wipes away my tears. It becomes evident that he genuinely cares for his patients. "Please don't do that again."

After explaining what occurred, he offers to continue helping me as my therapist. Every day after work, he visits my apartment to ensure I'm not engaging in self-destructive behavior. Even when he's too busy, he sends thoughtful messages and arranges for food delivery. Initially, I felt guilty for burdening him and rejected his assistance numerous times. However, he remained insistent, stating that it was in my best interest. I cannot deny that I appreciate his unwavering support.

During his extended breaks, he takes me on vacations overseas. Over time, his presence has helped me heal from the heartbreak I experienced months ago. Though thoughts of Dazai still cross my mind occasionally, my therapist is always there to gently redirect my focus. I've ceased dwelling on him and started concentrating on my career. And as for… any feelings I may have for my therapist, I choose to keep them to myself, maintaining the professional boundaries of our relationship.

On a Christmas night,

as we head back to my place, I notice a familiar silhouette standing outside my house—it's Dazai. I wonder why he's here. He hasn't changed one bit; his presence is a reminder of a past I'm trying to move on from.

"You can go home first. Thank you for escorting me back. I might have something to attend to…" I apologize to my therapist, feeling sorry for disrupting our evening.

"It's alright. I'll stay here with you. What if you become sad again?" He steps aside, offering me a comforting smile. I can't quite grasp his emotions; since I've known him, he has always maintained a calm expression—after all, he's a therapist.

I approach Dazai, and he greets me with a smile. "May I help you?" I ask, returning the smile.

"Who's that?" Dazai looks at my therapist, confusion apparent on his face.

"Oh, him? He's my therapist," I reply, hoping to alleviate any concerns.

"Why is he here with you?" Dazai raises an eyebrow, growing even more puzzled.

"We went for a walk. Is there a problem?" My therapist joins us, casually draping his arm over my shoulder and drawing me closer.

"I see…" Dazai's expression turns to amusement, recognizing that our relationship extends beyond the confines of a typical doctor-patient dynamic. "Well then, I have somewhere else to be, and... Merry Christmas." Without waiting for a response, he walks away, his hands casually tucked into his pockets.

I call out his name, aching to understand the purpose of his visit. He can't simply be here to wish me Merry Christmas. There must be something more. Pushing my therapist's arm away, I rush after Dazai, grabbing his shoulder to make him face me.

"Why were you here?" I ask, my breathing slightly labored.

"To wish you a Merry Christmas, of course." Dazai tilts his head slightly and glances at his watch. "Is there anything else you need? I really must go now."

Unable to resist, I muster the courage to ask him. Memories flood my mind, overwhelming me. I've always been someone who struggles to let go.

"Do you think we can start anew?" I inquire, averting my gaze. I'm aware my current expression may not be ideal for this moment. I understand that I'm deluding myself—that compared to him, I'm insignificant. It's him who should be apologizing, not me. But those thoughts fade into insignificance now…

"Appreciate what you have in the present. The more you yearn, the more it can betray you," he responds, patting my head gently. I sense hesitation in his touch, perhaps a tinge of guilt. Surprisingly, his words don't wound me further; instead, they offer confirmation that it's time for me to move forward. I watch as he enters the elevator, and just before the doors close, he utters one last phrase.

"Perhaps in the next life, I'll treat you better."

Dazai's POV

Ah, she has found someone new, someone who can offer her the love and care she deserves. It's a relief to see her in the arms of someone who can support her fragile heart. I know I failed her in so many ways, and she deserves someone who can truly understand and cherish her.

As I watch her with her new partner, I can't help but feel a mix of emotions—regret, sadness, and a glimmer of hope for her future happiness. I know deep down that I wasn't the right person for her, that my own demons and shortcomings prevented me from being the partner she needed.

I reflect on the pain I caused her, the heartbreak that lingers as a reminder of my mistakes. She may appear strong and independent on the outside, but I know she has a vulnerable side that requires genuine support and care. And I have come to terms with the fact that I am not capable of providing that for her.

As I observe her moving on, finding solace in the presence of another, I hold onto the hope that in the next life, if fate allows, we may cross paths again. Perhaps then, I can learn from my past mistakes and be the person she truly deserves. I want nothing more than to see her genuinely happy, even if it means it won't be with me.

So, for now, I'll take solace in the fact that she has found someone who can bring a genuine smile to her face. And in the depths of my heart, I silently hope that in the next life, I'll have the opportunity to make amends and treat her with the love and respect she deserves.

[drconstellation]

More Half-and-Half-A-Miracle Thoughts

Part 3: The Third Archangel

Updated 10 Nov 2023

Part 1: Miracle Power Ranking is here Part 2: The Dark side of Aziraphale is here.

Before I try to put the full picture of the mighty miracle together, there is one other Archangel I want to talk about first, because yeah, if the "little" miracle had an Archangel x an Archangel x (ex-)Archangel in the equation, all working in synergy, that's some pretty serious potential power right there.

S2 has given us much to discuss about Crowley and his past. We know he is different in that he has an imagination. We know he is the only ethereal entity, angelic or demonic, who can stop time, which is no mean feat. I have a list of at least nine, possibly thirteen clues (it keeps growing! 21 clues And yes, I'm counting,) that he was once a

senior Archangel, one of the seraphim, before his Fall (but not which one in particular, for sure, alas. We can debate that later, its not important here. Really. Don't @ me about it, I'm not going to engage in this post.) They (updated link to a new discussion: the idea of Crowley previously being a very powerful angel) have all been mentioned already, none of them are new. This implies there is a huge amount of potential power that Crowley could pull upon to put into the miracle performed on Gabriel. So he is our obvious ex-Archangel in the equation.

And we already have Gabriel, in the middle.

Which just leaves us with Aziraphale, and his green-paneled waistcoat...

I've led you all on thinking he's somehow connected to Hell? Or been associating too long with Crowley? No. (Or maybe, yes? To hanging around a demon, I mean.) On one hand it does show us he is not like the other angels. On the other, it tells us something else altogether.

For all that I've been recently rabbiting on about dark horses pointing mainly to Crowley and Saraqael, we have perhaps been deftly misdirected from the biggest dark horse of all: Aziraphale as our 'missing" seraphim, Archangel Raphael, incognito.

Now, I'm certainly not the first person to suggest this at all. There have been multiple metas about it, even way back from S1. I agree with them, fwiw.

Why am I saying this now? I think this recent post about Aziraphale being present at Sodom and Gomorrah sealed it for me, especially since I had made a recent note about Raphael being the one to be assigned to escort Lot from Gomorrah. And for all that I've just discussed how dark Aziraphale can be, he is still clearly affected by what he witnessed that night, so long, long ago.

"Oh Lord, heal this bike."

Green is also the color primarily associated with Raphael, the healer. I've seen a few other colors mentioned as well (in fact, the more you search, the more confusing it gets) but mostly the color you'll see mentioned is green. And its the color Aziraphale conceals on the back side of his waistcoat. Plus he did heal Anathema (and her velocipede) back in S1 after they collided with the Bentley.

Finally, in the Islamic tradition, Raphael is known as Israfil, and he is essential to announcing the Day of Judgement, with a trumpet constantly poised at his lips, ready to blown when God so orders.

Guess who just got taken back to Heaven to start the Second Coming?

Edit: Since I first posted this, some additional information has come along to add to this. I finally bumped into a post about the wonderful golden collars in the Job minisode (It's so, so important to put at least one or two relevant tags for meta-writers like me to help find your posts readers! Then you can shit-talk in the tags all you like.) and that lead me to a webpage on basic angel symbology and the major angels, which helped to firm up a few things I'd been wondering about. One observation is angels usually go about bare-footed, but Raphael wears sandals when on Earth, as he is chief of the guarding angels, and is the guardian of the young, and watches over pilgrims and travelers. And who was wearing golden sandals during the Job minisode?

Doing some guarding of the young as well...

And Raphael is assigned to the direction of the East.

Now we have three Archangels, three seraphim, no less, side by side.

That's a mighty shitload of potential miracle power, whichever way you want to look at it. No wonder the ol' Metatrash got a bit nervous about what happened and decided to take a personal hand in things.

If your sitting there going "'Hang on, op, hang on just a darned minute - Aziraphale hasn't even been promoted to Supreme Archangel yet and Crowley could just be a Dominion, you don't know, and Gabriel's a drooling idiot, how could he contribute to it - " Just stop. Take a breath. Go back to Part 1 where I discuss the problems with our knowledge about miracle powers and their potential. Their potential. And its frustrating that in the end we just don't have enough knowledge to be certain.

So take this as my personal head-canon. I may not have really answered why the miracle was so strong. But as I said at the start, I don't think we can. Too many factors involved, too many unknowns. Too much hidden.

Bring on S3, I say!

[andromeda-nova-writing]

You and Me, Mercy in Between

Vampire! Ayato x Fem! Witch! Reader

Summary: Sleep is a precious thing and Y/N misses it. You know those times when you are so tired that your thoughts go all over the place and get a little too much to handle? Ayato is great at leading Y/N's brain into something that's too much for her with such a lack of sleep. Luckily he's also smart enough to know when to stop pushing someone so far especially when likes their company.

A prequel fic for Willingly Within Your Grasp. You can read this in any order for now

Words: 2,304

AN: Everyone thank @milkstore for keeping my brain rot going through this au and editing/reviewing this fic. Also for naming this fic. I have so many ideas and lore I've come up with for this au. I just have so many thoughts about this au. There's so much I want to expand on to the point I started writing the third part already.

This fic is T-rated. Typical vampire behavior. Mentions of blood and animal death. Mentions of main character death with none occurring

It had been a long week for Y/N. She had never been a big festival person before. It didn't help this week was ending with Ayaka accidentally touching some silver earrings cause she thought they would be a nice gift for Y/N. She was lucky Thoma was with her for quick damage control. Even then casting a spell changing someone's memory of the incident sucked. It was her least favorite part of the job.

First came finding out exactly who and everyone who may have witnessed the incident. Then came the disguise spell so not a soul would know who she was. Finally the memory shift. It sucked to do and sucked to have happened. The things she would do for the Kamisato clan.

In came the knock at her door. Did no one read the do not disturb sign? She only put it up for important potion-making. Even though she was lying on the bed trying to get any bit of rest before she had to actually get up and work. A second knock at the door.

"Who is it?" She yelled. "I'm busy at the moment." An understandable lie with the lack of sleep she had over the week.

"It's me. Can I come in real quick?" Thoma asked gently.

She sat up. "Come in." She pulled a blanket around her body. Her sleep schedule was so ruined it was going to mess up her brain.

He came in, took one look at her, and winced.

Y/N frowned. "Thanks for the confidence boost. Needed that."

"Sorry. Lord Kamisato requested your presence. We also are low on blood. You are going to have to make the blood replacements again." The apology in his voice was just too evident as he spoke clearly feeling sorry about having to give her more tasks.

"How far off are you from learning those incantations?"

He laughed awkwardly. "The pronunciation is still confusing me. I could always go fishing if that helps."

"That would. I appreciate it." It was hard to remain upset at Thoma for interrupting her first break in a while. The fish fix wouldn't be perfect but it would help the situation out. "Tell him I'll be there soon."

"Will do." And with that, he left leaving her back into the darkness of her room.

Y/N got up and went over to move the blackout curtain to see what time of day it was. Sunset. Ayato couldn't have slept until actual nightfall for her sanity at least. She looked down at her bedclothes. It still looked like they were just put on. The wrinkles of sleep were deeply missed.

After throwing on a robe over clothes she made her way over to Ayato’s office. He would have to find a way to deal with the fact that she would be returning to her bed immediately after. She knocked on the door of his office before letting herself in.

“You wanted me?” As much as she found herself enjoying his presence, she hoped that this would be quick.

He didn't even look up from the mountain of paperwork in front of him. "How's the situation with jeweler?" 

"Dealt with along with everyone nearby who may have seen. Ayaka's hand should be fully healed by now. I should be checking on her soon." 

"Good. Have a drink sent my way. I've seem to find myself trapped in here once again."

"We are out. Thoma is out fishing to help offset our supply till we can manage to find something bigger. If you give me 10 minutes I can go make a blood substitute." It was already on her to-do list anyway. Sleep was not to be had after all. 

"How long has he been out?"

"Not long. You'll have to wait if you want something fresh."

He placed the pen in his hand down looking up at her. "Is there any way you can actually make that substitute taste good?"

"Afraid not. Any changes to its flavor profile would ruin its ability as a substitute."

"Any other options?"

"We've been over this." It was too early or was it too late for this? Either way, she did not have the appropriate amount of sleep in her system for this. "It's to be from an animal or the substitute. What happened last month was because there was nothing near us and I couldn't make a substitute."

"Details. So we are allowed to talk about it now?" 

"I never said that we could speak on it." She looked away from Ayato. She felt hyper-aware of her wrist. Just the mention of it made the memory feel like it just happened. When she blinked it was like she could see Ayato sinking his teeth in while looking directly at her eyes trying to gauge when to stop.

It was the only time she had let someone drink from her before and the first time he had human blood. Circumstances be damned at this point. For two people struggling to maintain some sort of professionalism, it was the most intimate they had been. And they loved every second of it.

It hadn't left Y/N’s mind. Any dreams she could recall had Ayato in them. What she would never tell him is how she imagined Ayato’s teeth on her neck. It was such a crude way to think about someone who was her boss. That and she couldn't believe that she was way more into such an act than she thought would ever be.

Everything anyone told her growing up was that vampires were dangerous. Blood suckers that only looked out for themselves. If she found herself in the company of one, it was kill or be killed. Maybe the information she got was biased. Her mother had been a hunter who got herself killed by a vampire when she was young. 

"Pity. Come sit with me while I wait." It was such a simple task he had asked of her. But knowing Ayato, there had to be something more.

"Where?" It wasn’t like there was a spot in the room where she could actually sit next to him as he worked.

"The desk. You could hand me my papers as I need them." He said with such a straight face.

She sighed not even having to ask if he was serious or not. "What happened to having me check on Ayaka?" 

"That can wait. She should be resting anyway. You should keep me company. Wouldn't it be best to keep an eye on a hungry vampire?" He teased.

Y/N went over to his desk and sat down holding the pile of papers on her lap as he requested. Professionalism be damned. She sighed, "If you really were a problem, it's not like I couldn't stop you. I could have you chained down within a minute. I was raised to do just that."

"That's how you would stop me. With chains?"

"My aunt, she took me under her wing. She introduced me to this world and taught me everything she and my mom knew. And that included killing vampires. I was only talking about ways to restrain you. Summoning chains is only one of the methods."

"And if that didn't work?"

"Seal off the room. Pray that I don't have to use other restraints. Could get painful." Too many of them involved fire. Too many methods risked so much. "I'd rather not talk about anything I'd have to do to you if I'd ever had to stop you."

"Why would that be?"

"If I can't restrain you and you are still a problem, all that's left is to kill you." She looked up at the ceiling. The silence of night making itself aware. "I would prefer not to have to take your life. Honestly, it would be quite heartbreaking."

"Hm." It wasn't every day that someone who had trained to kill a vampire found that exact task heartbreaking.

"I don't think I could face Ayaka and tell her. Knowing her, I would have to be ready to kill her as well. Probably Thoma as well. You all are just too close. You've been nothing but good to me. Don't make me think such things." It was hard to be strong within her words. "If it was anyone else I could do it. But you haven't killed anyone. Most vampires I have encountered have already become serial killers. You don't deserve that same fate."

All Ayato could do was listen. Maybe he had pushed too far. He only went as far as he normally would. Maybe her boundaries weren't to be tested while she was tired. She fought tears gracefully as she imagined a life he would be sure to make not happen. It made her feel sick. She traced symbols on the desk subconsciously completely unaware that she had begun casting a spell of deception upon her appearance.

"I see every spark of humanity within you every day. To think of a day where you've lost it becoming a monster must mean I've failed along the way. You, everyone around us, and myself. If I were to have that happen I think my whole view on vampires would crash on me."

"And what's that view?"

"To be taught every single vampire is a killer and then to take a chance thinking that maybe what I learned was wrong is right would just be the worst. And if were to fail to kill you then I’d be granting you a fate worse than death." If it wasn’t her who put a stop to it then someone else would come along after who knows how long with no mercy of the situation. Archons forbid it wasn’t anyone in the estate that would have to clean up the mess she would have left behind. 

Ayato was careful in moving the papers off of her lap back onto the desk to not interrupt what she was telling him.

“It would just be awful to have to kill the man I’ve been falling in love with for the better part of the year. Just saying that must I’ve compromised my ability to work here.”

He had stood up able to meet her eyes directly now. He grabbed onto the hand that had silently casting a spell stopping it from being performed. Her face had been stained with tears showing how deeply she had meant it when she said she had been falling in love with him. How intensely these thoughts and backup plans had killed her inside. Ayato brought a hand up to her face wiping away the tears he was unable to see before.

“It must be horrible to fall in love with me if I’ve already made you cry with these thoughts.”

“I made myself cry.”

“With things I shouldn’t ask you to think of.” 

“I would have to think of them by myself anyway.” She had been since she accepted this job offer that Thoma had brought along to her.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t?”

“If it makes you so upset, don’t think of it anymore.”

“It would be irresponsible. This is irresponsible.”

“Why don’t we just be a little irresponsible together for once?” It was a question that pushed away all formalities. To ignore all professionalism. It was better to ignore what was wrong and focus on what felt so right. Boundaries that had been set up right to fall with a single crash.

Soft kisses on a cheek turned into kissing away tears turned into kisses on the lips. Slow and sweet as if to make up for what had happened. Apologies without words were made before becoming promises to one another. Which managed to change yet again to something more passionate with hands running up and down each other begging to be closer to each other. Before finally stopping for air leaning foreheads against one another satisfied with the outcome.

“Are you any better?” Ayato’s voice was soft, and gentle almost if a pin would drop on the floor it would be too harsh against the ears.

“A bit,” She sighed. “I think I’m just exhausted.”

“Exhausted? We haven’t been working you that hard have we?”

Y/N leaned as far back as she could while being held. “I was running on 3 hours of sleep and as many 10-minute naps as I could throughout this week. I think my bags have bags.”

“I guess we should get you back to bed then.”

“What happened to wanting me to keep an eye on you?”

“You could have requested a day off. I would have given it to you.”

“I know but there were things that had to get done. There are things that have to get done now. I’m already up so I might as well do them.”

His face was filled with judgment. As overworked as he was even he knew better. “Maybe it would have been better for you to have checked on Ayaka first. She’d at least lecture you about this without sounding hypocritical.”

“You aren’t wrong about that. And if it isn't her who calls us out it's only a matter of time before Thoma plans something where you are forced to sit and relax.��

She laughed for the first time in a while. Letting the joys of life take over. “It is quite nice finding people who remind you of the value of taking a break.”

“Were you not one for breaks?”

She sighed. “They weren’t encouraged. My aunt, she was nice but she was always worried about our safety. I just pray you never meet her. She may think I'm not here of my own accord.”

“Don’t think of it for now. You did enough worrying over me today.” He took some steps back pulling Y/N off of the desk. “Let’s just get you back to bed for now.”

[gepardling]

night-time rendezvous IV w/ gepard .

desc. : i spent my last 2 days on plant hormones, it's time i invest into my own hormones. be honest tho would u still stay housemates w/ a vampire if he attempts to bite u? wrong answers only. serval wants u outta there for ur own safety, she alrdy knows tht geppie's clock is ticking :/ ( wc : 1.7k )

tags / cw : sfw, but mentions of blood, injury and vampirism, gn!reader, (they/them used), vampire!AU for the Landaus, reader is a human, they uh KISS (it's not too spicy, vaguely spicy), he tries to bite :(, proofread but lore may change

index : prologue, part 1, part 2, part 3

— DAY 3

The following night, you are greeted by a different face. Serval’s sharp features are striking as you open your eyes for the first time. She pulls the curtains open, briefly bathing in the moonlight that spills from them. "I trust you're doing well, my dear?" She asks, the unfamiliar softness laced in her tone. You can't help but notice the tension that lingers in the air as you nod in response. Serval's presence alone was enough to keep you on edge. You murmur your gratitude for her hospitality, albeit with a slight wariness.

She studies you for a moment before offering a faint, enigmatic smile. "I know this isn't what you expected when you stumbled upon our villa," she begins, her tone holding a hint of sympathy. "But we have rules here, and my brother has broken a significant one." The mention of rules and Gepard's apparent transgression leaves you puzzled. You're not sure what she's referring to, but her cryptic words certainly pique your curiosity.

"What do you mean by that?" You asked cautiously, fully aware of Serval’s capacity to switch-up mid-conversation. Her gaze remains fixated on you, her eyes betraying an inner conflict. She appears torn between revealing more and keeping the details shrouded in secrecy. Her voice takes on a softer tone as she finally responds, "My family has a code of conduct that we must adhere to, and Gepard has disregarded a significant aspect of it by bringing you here. You see, we have kept our existence hidden from the human world for centuries, for our own safety."

The weight of her revelation hangs in the air, leaving you to contemplate the implications of her words. You gulp lightly, a slight shake evident in your tone. "I promise I'll leave as soon as I can. Then you won't have to see me again..."

Serval offers you a faint, sad smile. "I appreciate your understanding, dear. It's not just about seeing you, it's about the safety of both our worlds. I hope you heal swiftly, but I fear the ties that bind our two worlds may not be so easily severed." Her words hang in the air, heavy with the weight of a complicated truth.

Serval sighs before clapping her hands together. "If you need anything, let me know," She sings, suddenly awfully cheerful. "I've left some clothing for you to wear since yours seemed... A little tattered." She quipped before leaving the room. And she was right, a neatly folded pile of clothing was laid on the chair opposite your bed.

With Serval's exit, you take a moment to inspect the clothing. It's a simple but well-made ensemble, and some comfortable shoes. You decide to go for a stroll before another family member inevitably comes across your path. As you walk through the villa's ornate halls, you take a moment to examine some of the centuries-old paintings adorning the walls. The dimly lit corridors cast an eerie, yet intriguing ambiance. One painting, in particular, captures your attention. It's a portrait of a young Gepard, standing next to a woman who appears to be Serval, although her countenance is less stern in the painting. The depiction of a family, seemingly harmonious, contrasts with the hints of tension you've witnessed.

Continuing your exploration, you find a room filled with an eclectic collection of trinkets and antiques. Each object tells a story of a time long past, and aesthetically they seem exceptionally out of place in the grand villa. Your journey takes you deeper, and before long you realize you've become lost. A foreboding presence seems to lurk behind the door at the end of the hall, and strangely it pulls you towards it. The door's handle feels cold to the touch as you slowly turn it, and the creaking of the hinges only amplifies the feeling that maybe you shouldn't be there.

As the door inches open, you find yourself in a room that is shrouded in shadows. The only source of light is a solitary window, its curtains drawn shut. The room is filled with a musty, age-old scent, and you can barely make out various objects scattered about. On the dresser, an old-leather bound book rests on the dusty surface. The first page of the book reads "Cocolia", seemingly the name of the owner. In the corner, a large, ornate mirror captures your attention. Its surface is slightly tarnished, but you can still see your reflection. As you gaze into the mirror, an unsettling feeling creeps over you. It's as though you're not alone, as though there's something or someone lurking just beyond your sight. Before you could go any further, a hand grasps your shoulder, and you almost jump out of your skin with fright. But it was only Gepard. 

His sudden appearance both startles and comforts you. His voice is calm, and he speaks in a low, soothing tone, "I'm sorry if I frightened you. This part of the villa is rarely used, and it can be quite unnerving, especially at night. Are you exploring?" His hand remains on your shoulder, offering support and reassurance, and you feel a sense of security in his presence. You notice your reflection in the mirror, and that the empty presence next to you doesn't reflect what's really there. Your frayed nerves are quickly soothed when you remind yourself it's just Gepard. 

"I was looking around, but I got a little lost," you sheepishly admit.

Gepard nods understandingly. "It's easy to get turned around in this place, especially if you're not familiar with it. This villa has been in my family for generations." He offers a warm, reassuring smile, but his eyes betray a hint of secrecy. "I can guide you back. There's nothing of interest here, I assure you."

With Gepard by your side, the tension begins to dissipate, and you find yourself feeling more at ease in the grand but somewhat sinister surroundings. As you walk back, your attention is grasped by a portrait of Serval and an unfamiliar woman, and you turn to Gepard with a questioning look. "Is this a portrait of Serval? Who's the woman next to her?" 

Gepard nods, his expression solemn. "Yes, that's Serval. It was painted centuries ago. She and that woman, they… Have a long history." He doesn't offer much more in the way of explanation, and the conversation falls into a contemplative silence. You sense that there's something he's keeping to himself. As the silence between you and Gepard lingers, curiosity finally gets the better of you, and you decide to address the unspoken weight in the air. 

Your voice is soft, tentative, as you break the quiet with your question. "Gepard," you begin, choosing your words carefully, "there's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"

You watch as Gepard's expression shifts, a mixture of surprise and concern in his eyes. He stops walking, turning to face you fully, and you can see the discontent in his gaze. Gepard takes a deep breath, his gaze shifting to some point in the distance as if he's searching for the right words. "You're right, there are things I haven't told you," he admits, his voice tinged with a sense of internal conflict. "This villa is a place of many memories, some beautiful, some... not so much." He pauses, and you can see he's consciously choosing what to say. "My family, they value their traditions and, well, they don't exactly see eye to eye with the world outside these walls. It's a complicated story." His eyes momentarily lock with yours, their usual glimmer replaced with a dull gaze, before he turns away.

Respecting his discomfort, you don't push for more information. You can't help but steal a few glances at him, noticing a certain pallor to his skin, an ashy hue that hints at something deeper. His once vibrant and charismatic eyes seem tinged with exhaustion, carrying the weight of secrets he's reluctant to share. Although you're not aware of it, Gepard's abstention from drinking blood has left its mark. His distant stare reflects the strain of his restraint, and his typically sharp features seem softer, as if the lack of sustenance has dulled his natural intensity. 

Despite his weariness, Gepard sensed your desire to explore the villa further, and decided to show you the library. The villa's expansive collection of ancient texts and manuscripts held secrets from centuries past, and he wanted to share this secluded part of his world with you. As you wandered through the rows of old books, you were met with centuries worth of knowledge, secluded corners of the world you had yet to see. It was as if you'd found a safe space, away from the otherwise creepy aura of the Landau estate. It felt as though hours had passed since your arrival at the small library, but you were starting to get a little tired of the cryptic hemomancy manuscripts, instead looking for something a bit more… human. 

Gepard's presence was magnetic, and his fingers brushed yours as you struggled to reach higher on the shelf. Your heart raced as your eyes locked in a knowing gaze, the library's silence amplifying your desire. The book you were initially looking for was long forgotten as Gepard's lips met yours in a deep kiss. He pressed you against the bookshelf, hands finding their way to your hips. His lips released yours, and began to gently trail down your jaw, littering the faintest kisses against your skin. But the subtle scrape of something sharp was in stark contrast to his soft lips. Gepard's fangs, usually concealed behind a charming smile, hovered dangerously close to your neck. Your eyes widened in realization, and a sudden panic bubbled up inside of you.

"Wait, Gepard," you gasped, your heart pounding with a mixture of desire and fear. You pushed against his chest, trying to create some space between you, hissing in pain when the pressure stung your injured arm. For an instant, it felt like he might not listen, his gaze dark and unrelenting.

But then, Gepard's eyes flickered with recognition, and he pulled back, his breathing heavy. He looked at you, his expression torn between desire and guilt, his own fear mirrored in his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice shaking. "I didn't want to take advantage of you like that." Without another word, Gepard left, and his strides were too fast for you to keep up. You didn't see him again for the rest of the night. 

there's so much unnecessary hidden lore in this tbh i shld hav jus written vampire smut nd not gotten this invested into it but it's 2 late now. the mirror represents the forgotten hall and cocolia is the person who betrayed the landau family (more specifically serval).

[marleysfinest]

i hope that i am not late for the lovefest and even if i am i have snacks and copious amounts of alcohol so PLEASEEEEEEE let me in!!! pelase please oewijaflsijdfasdjf

okay anyway i love that you're doing this to begin with, it speaks to how wonderful you are so let's kick things off with the woman of honor - you!

muva marley, you are one of a kind in the most spectacular of ways. your heart is enormous. i would trust you with my keys, my banking app password, my social security number, my life...anything. you have a heart of solid gold and we are all better because we get to benefit from being around you. seeing the way you love your family, your friends, all the compassion you give, it makes me want to be a better person and i'm sure i'm far from the only one. as beautiful on the inside as you are out. i love you! so much! thank you for being in my life <333

and now i have a few more people i'd like to mention, i apologize for the length of this ask in advance:

@wyvernslovecake - oh cas, your inner light shines so bright. you are hilarious and clever and just an all around outstanding human being and it's my privilege to get to call you a friend. we went from anonymously talking about papa reiner (long may he live....) and grimmjow to now having the friendship we do and i'm so grateful. thank you for the fun! thank you for the laughter!

@sailorspica - we were destined to cross paths and i know it because how else would i find a fellow pisces with the best taste in toxic old men and music both? nowhere but here. it's so fortunate that we met here where we can truly match each other's freak. and as for that houseboat? i think we should. i think we could be like mob and reigen but somehow even better.

@quiveringdeer - nat! you have been with me for the full two years i've been here and while we've both come and gone and had our struggles and triumphs and time off and here both, it's like coming home to get to talk to you when i do. i truly feel rejuvenated even if it's just a short little back and forth about life and whatever. you have the biggest heart and the best vibes and i hope you know that about yourself and believe it.

@bloompompom bloomy wooms where do i begin?!!!!! you are the most beautiful soul! your heart is so big! you are creative and hilarious and so down to earth. you're the person i know i could get coffee but also tell my tragic life story to and be met with empathy and wit and something to carry with me after the convo is over and we've parted ways. you are a star! spectacular! i love you!!!

@ssslime - my home state mate <333 every time i think of you i get this fond little warmth in my chest because you are so good. inside and out, just good to your bones. thank you for being the most honest, kind, and hilarious person out there.

@pavloves-dog - the human equivalent of sunshine to be sure. you are supportive. you are intelligent and so funny and so easy to talk to. you have so much wisdom and im proud of you and proud to know you!!! thank u for being my friend and for being yourself

@p00pdev1l - jazz!!!! you are the best!!! never has a presence been mourned more than when you left and when you returned it was like the gates of heaven opened and granted us an angel again. just a person we should all aspire to be more like because you're grounded and patient and good to everyone and just ugh. thank u!!!! for returning to us

@daryascurse - what if we...held hands and kissed...what then...LSDFLSJDFJSDF but also hiiiii <333 you are awesome. beautiful, bold, talented, gonna change the world and probably pretty effortlessly although your work ethic is also beyond admirable. like idk how i even stumbled upon the luck that gave me the opportunity to have you in my life but i won't complain.

@neiptune - oh v!!!! oh beloved! you have the biggest heart and you do so much just by being yourself. you have a healing presence and i know that's a lot of pressure to have as a person but you wear it well and you are just wonderful. thank you for being in my life <3

@pisspope - genuinely the most clever and creative person i've ever met. you are a riot and i love the way you see the world and other people and i admire it very much. you see everyone for exactly who they are, no projections or frills, and i love love love that. you are awesome.

and finally, my belovedest @blondeboyfriend <333 tbh i don't even think i'd still be part of this community if it weren't for finn. like sometimes in life you meet a person that like completely changes things for you and even if we don't talk every single day, finn is that person for me. i love you and i'm so grateful we exist at the same time and someday we will indeed enjoy our creamsicles together watching a sunset.

okay that's all for me they're playing me off! i love everyone! i love you guys soooo much!!!!

we got KENDY in here with the luv!!!!!!!!!!! I love u so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spread the love with muvva's feel good 500!

[shurisu]

Idk if you had already talk about this but i read your recent ask about the ship shurisu and I'm truly interested to read about the potential Shun and Alice had, individually and together, but with your POV

I've got so much to say about this topic that I don't know where to start.

To be honest, I  liked them both  the moment i first saw them but getting to know these characters what solidified my love .

For example Shun may seem like the classic silent guy at first glance but when you get to know him you will see that he's actually a heavily traumatized boy.Before his mother's death he still seemed to be a  "demure"  type, but you can also see  he was happy for doing what he likes with his friends.After his mother passed away, he holds onto the only thing his mother left for him, Skyress, because he doesn't know how to deal with it.And because of how broken he is, he  avoids bonding with people, which i belive, stems from his fear of losing them and going through the same feelings again.That's why he refused to be part of the team and even considered leaving almost half the season.S1 had done a  fairly good job with his characterization, you could see that he was trying his best to be as stoic as possible but people who knows him(Dan,Skyress,his mother) or someone who can observe people really well(Alice) could see through him  easily, afterall he was just a little boy.

If bakugan was targeted to an older audience and they gave importance to the plot , I believe we wouldn't get the Shun we had in NV and onwards. I get their biggest concern was to introduce more bakugans (=sell more toys) and to do that, they also had to introduce newer characters.Of course there's no problem with new characters but they just couldn't give them spotlight without butchering the older ones.Since the target audience is little boys,the girls got written off and Shun got to stay.But  because of the reasons i said above, it  costed him to his characterization being butchered, and he actually turned into  the silent guy arche type.He used to be the best brawler in the world , and the moment he gets dethroned by Masquerade it was easily acceptable, because he is also one of the best (well,imo the best)  brawlers ever existed. Of course, it would be no fun if he were to win all the time, and new characters need to shine as well, but BB Shun and NV onwards Shun  are like different brawlers. BB Bakugan was more of battle of wits; through Shun and Masquerade, Dan learned that power alone wasn't enough and he needed to know how to yield it.It was also no surprise that the best brawlers were also the best strategists. But after 1st season, gimmicks like Bakugan traps were a huge cross out on everything S1 standed for.So looking back at Shun,what happens to a character if you took away the area he shines the most?If we got to see his evolution both as a brawler&as a character,I believe he would contribute greatly to the show,even more than he did.

Ooh boy  it already got this long, and I didn't even get to mention Alice.I believe   just like Shun, Alice is also a MC worthy character. Of course whole "Masquerade" situation gives her some extra points.I am not a writer but i can only think of countless scenarios a writer could benefit from  a character with split personality; the deeds she's done unwillingly haunting her,and eventually facing herself and healing period.But if I had to talk about Bakugan only, my thoughts on her and Shun are similar since both of them were quite alike as brawlers.Alice got to short end of the stick in two matters though, for reasons:

1) She's a girl in a shounen anime (a genre which is very  rare for a woman to get to shine, or even be useful)

2)She would be  OP as a brawler, so including her would require more complex writing:

Their decision was to  conclude her character arc after  she became one with Masquerade.We know that she was already brilliant as a strategist  and now we see that she's far more confident as a brawler, so that would be basically Masquerade being back in  his original appearance and i don't think there's anything should be holding back her at that state.Even today most of people rightfully don't accept how she's lost in her NV battle, because of how great brawler Alice/Masquerade is and how it didn't make any sense plot wise.She's  imo even more MC worthy character now and still could grow as a character but as i said before,the creators were focused more on commercial success instead.

So long story short, Shun and Alice could've been doing much better if Bakugan didn't change so drastically (as in game logic) , because they would be needed more.And them being active would probably helped a lot to their team mates as well since they are both  supposedly the "demure" and "observant" members of the team which really helped in group dynamics, understanding what kind of rival they're against and how should they approach them.

If we were lucky enough and actually got to see them end up together, i  believe they would have a solid relationship. Their personalities are  compatible so they could  evolve into a really beautiful couple.Since we know Shun is a man of few words and bottles up his emotions most of the time, Alice would quickly become "that" person for him, the one  who  truly understands him the most. It's not even my hc, we already saw how she can see through him, but with them becoming a couple she would probably take that to another level and of course become the dearest person for him ever.Alice is also is healing from her past traumas, and being a loner just like Shun would make her understand him a lot more.But the difference is unlike Shun, she wants to bond with people more so being with her would change Shun on that matter .I can definitely see  him being a lot more comfortable with expressing himself.Since he's also an observant person, he also would be the same with Alice as she's with him,so he would try his best at supporting her at anything.

To sum it up, they are striking me as a kind of couple  who would be each other's rock and kind of couple who would bring the best in each other. Maybe that's why i always dreamed of them being MCs of their own show with a story about them.And I know that would be fire since they have some of the best fics of their own out there.

[theultimatepumpkinpie]

I have always felt the Drifter and Tenno being the same person opened up a LOT of possibilities, and intresting ideas and want to know your thoughts on the two, because I think you have got some of the best views on these two one person duo ever

Because I've always felt both are incredibly intelligent but in different ways, the Operator knows all these Orokin mannerisms and ideals, they're calm, collected, they have emotional outbursts when in serious situations but are normally incredibly calm and they in the end never get so pissed it causes problems, they understand their weapons perfectly, they are probably more comfortable piloting a warframe then they are walking around themselves

The drifter while less intelligent in fields of study they make up for it in something the Operator does not have, being far more willing to take risks and being physically stronger and also extremely quick on their feet, still incredibly intelligent and even grasp many ideas the Operator cant, such as how Durviri works, how the Zariman can be a meeting point for the two, then theres also their ability to survive, they Survived Durviri and set up camp in the woods and Survived there for a long time, alone, outside of Ordis and a near dead Lotus, they crafted their own weapons, own gear, own tools, they didn't have magic void powers but they were absolutely going nuts and dropping grineer, corpus, even killed off two sentient prime warframe hybrids with a bow and arrow and their own wits to stay alive

The Operator is a more classic intelligence, this proper and well mannered void child and the Drifter is a more survival smarts person, sure they cant do all the fancy stuff or fully understand a warframe like the Operator but they don't need the Warframe to survive, they're a capable fighter without and with the warframe

Why thank you so much <3 I am absolutely not normal about these two and I’m always glad to hear that people enjoy that lol

You are absolutely right, they are both intelligent in those, different ways and yet still somewhat manage to seem like the same original person due to subtle personality ques. The reason behind the differences is likely due to their upbringing. Like the whole nature & nurture instead of the “or” argument.

Like you said the operator lends a lot of their calmness and manners to the orokin’s rule. Their training during the old war would have demanded them to be so as well as discipline towards combat. Their difficulties with managing their void powers as well as their youth could contribute to those outbursts you mentioned. The fact that they are more skilled and comfortable in the warframes is cause of the sheer amount of time they were in them as well as the time spent in the second dream after their re-awakening. And personally, I believe that part of it is also an escape from their trauma as well as someone to share and heal from the pain with (the warframes themselves as who they used to be).

As for the drifter, they were all alone with nothing more than books and videos and whatever was left on the zariman as they were never rescued. Without much to answer to discipline would take time to acquire and would have mostly been from their survival. They learned a lot of those skills you mentioned on the job and in a similar way it was their situation that demanded that of them. And they took of the mantle insanely well.

But without any real people to answer to, (only ever having people they brought to life from a book) they would not have needed to adopt the same manners. They could just be themselves in any situation and still get the job done which made them a lot more carefree in the end.

I absolutely love these characters more than I ever thought I would and I love trying to get inside their heads (and there is no short of subtleties to sort through for that) and based on what I’ve noticed from them, I think you got them down pact.  

(also sorry this took awhile to respond to, asks are unreadable on my phone and my brain is made of mice who don’t want to sit still)

[akariarda]

Will you ever stop breaking my heart ,all over and over again...

(LAST)EPISODE 13

ep12 Garmadon is recovering and everything seems fine, but they have one more problem to solve ..

Look at the end of the work for the author's notes

"Where am I?" Sensei Garmadon asked when he opened his eyes.

The room was airy and dark... and smelled like a pharmacy. It seemed familiar.

"In the monastery of Spinjitzu," Misako said from somewhere he couldn't see. "Wu brought you here."

"Wu?" Sensei Garmadon asked happily. "He's alive..."

"I'll tell you about it later," Misako laughed and ran her hand through his hair. "But first, how are you feeling?"

Sensei Garmadon thought for a moment before saying, "I'm okay... just bruised."

"I know," Misako smiled at him.

'Sh's still so beautiful ,' Sensei Garmadon thought to himself.

"..but you'll heal in a week. It's a miracle you survived."

"And then?" Sensei Garmadon interrupted.

"What do you mean 'and then'?" Misako looked at him confused. "Everything can go back to how it was before."

When Sensei Garmadon heard that, he made a sour face.

"What's wrong?" Misako gently asked, kneeling beside his bed.

"Don't you want me to leave?"Sensei Garmadon quietly asked.

"Of course not," Misako moved his hair aside to kiss him on the forehead. "We love you."

'Here we go again,' Misako thought to herself. They had many similar conversations when Garmadon first became Sensei.

She had a feeling this time would be even worse.

"Even after everything?" Sensei Garmadon sadly asked, gently touching the bruises on her arm that were visible due to rolled-up sleeves.

He didn't want to think about all the harm he had done to her, Lloyd, Wu, the ninja, and others.

"I've hurt all of you so many times," Sensei Garmadon whispered.

"But you wasn't who you are now." Misako desperately tried to convince him.

She wanted to convince him so badly .

"If you say so," Sensei Garmadon forced a smile. Misako frowned but didn't want to dwell on it. Not now.

"Just know that we love you, and I have already forgiven you," Misako said, smiling warmly after such a day.

"I'm sure the others will too soon if they haven't already."

'Not everyone is like you, my Misako... that's why even Lloyd looks up to you.' He first thought, then added,

'With what I deserved them all, with what I deserved love..'

"Garmadon?" Misako called him back from his thoughts.

"Yes?" Sensei Garmadon looked at her curiously. She seemed... thoughtful.

"You mentioned someone coming. Someone who will destroy Ninjago,"

Sensei Garmadon's face paled. It was so important, that's why he agreed to live again...

"Did I upset you...?" Misako asked carefully.

"Misako," Garmadon said, shocked, squeezing her hand.

"It's so important, so dangerous. And I can't remember. It's like they erased that part of my memory when I turned good again... I'm sorry, Misako," Sensei Garmadon sadly said, closing his eyes. He just wanted...

~~~~~~

"How was the celebration ?" Sensei Garmadon asked Lloyd when he came back.

"Fine..." Lloyd awkwardly smiled and scratched his head.

It wasn't fine. He was thinking about what awaits them in the future. Since his dad couldn't remember, probably no one knew.

"I see you're already up," Lloyd tried to keep a cheerful spirit.

"Yes..." Sensei Garmadon smiled tiredly. "I have to..."

"Have you remembered anything, brother?" Master Wu asked as he entered the room, followed by stern Kai and Misako.

"No..." Sensei Garmadon sighed and disappointedly put the book down. "It's like that part of my memory has just disappeared."

"It will be okay, brother," Wu put his hand on Sensei Garmadon's shoulder.

"No offense," Kai started. It didn't seem like he wasn't going to offend.

"If we can even believe Garmadon," Lloyd sharply looked at him."Referring to the evil Garmadon,"Kai corrected himself.

"That's what I was wondering as well," Lloyd shrugged. "Father swears..."

"So true, Lloyd," Sensei Garmadon sighed tiredly. "The danger is real and big, believe it or not."

With those words, he gave Kai a sharp look.

He knew he had every right to be angry, but Sensei Garmadon didn't like it when people opposed him, especially when something this important was involved.

"It would be best to rest now," Misako put her hand on his forearm. "You shouldn't have gotten out of bed yet.

"We'll continue looking elsewhere." Master Wu understood it as a sign and motioned for Kai to follow him.

"Just rest, brother," it was nice to hear thar word."Don't worry," Misako said, smiling. "Everything will be fine. We've overcome many evils before, and we can do it from now on too."

"Everything will be fine, and you won't leave us again," Lloyd added to his mother's words.

"But Kai is right." Sensei Garmadon lowered his head. "You shouldn't believe me..."

"How many times have we told you that we do not see you as the same person when you are evil ,"

Misako asked and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"We don't blame you for what you did when you weren't in control." Lloyd added.

'Maybe it's not all bad...' Sensei Garmadon smiled to himself. They will defeat whatever danger is coming.

They still need to work on their relationships a bit, but they're doing well. And Lloyd, Misako, and Wu, as well as most of the ninja, seemed happy that he was there.

Misako, Lloyd, and Wu especially seemed happy.

"Rest, Dad," Lloyd waved to his parents. "I'll go help Master Wu and Kai."

"Misako?" Sensei Garmadon asked after Lloyd left. Misako nodded slightly as a sign of listening to him.

"Can I go to your room with you? I don't want to be alone again..." Sensei Garmadon awkwardly said.

He missed her so much, even though she stayed up at night checking on him.

He missed having her always by his side.

"Of course..." Misako said after a moment of thought. "Are you sure I won't bother you while you're recovering?"

"one hundred percent sure," Sensei Garmadon was thrilled.

~~~~~~

"Here, are these all your things?" Misako asked Sensei Garmadon.

"Yes, I couldn't bring them from Cursed realm," he said."

"I have some of your things; I just need to wash them," Misako thought.

"You kept all my things all this time?" Garmadon was surprised.

And happy, although a little sad. She probably missed him all this time...

"Can I ask you something?" He asked playfully after she finished folding the few clothes they found.

"Of course," Misako said, entertained.

"Do you mind if I kiss you?"

"Not really," Misako playfully replied.

Sensei Garmadon felt her hand resting on his forearm.

He gently grabbed her chin to lean down and kiss her. He had missed it so much...

Her warm breath and sweet lips...

"You know," Sensei Garmadon whispered in her ear. "I've wanted to do this for so long."

"I know," Misako smiled at him. "I love you."

"I love you too," Sensei Garmadon smiled brightly at her. "But, I don't deserve..."

Misako closed the door and kissed him again to quiet him. Hopefully, everything will be okay.

'And it will be,' she thought while wrapping her arms around his neck.

'Just let Garmadon remember soon...' She decided not to think about it now.

It was best to just enjoy the moments.

"I really love you," Garmadon repeated while kissing her neck.

Everything will be fine.

It has to.

NOTES

I planned to finish this work with Lloyd as well, but it still started with Gadrmadon and Misako, let it end like that.

Thank you if you read this and don't forget to leave a comment and say what you think (information about the sequel is coming soon)

[ifishouldvanish]

(sorry, one more bc it's been on my mind for a long time)

I worry though, about... the dynamic. Can someone really find and bond with another through their grief and loneliness, without this grim depression they share becoming *worse?*

For me, personally, whenever I think about them... I think there's going to be a level of catharsis. They have something that would be very hard to find in another living being, and a certain love for humanity and the past that would be difficult to find among vampires, and this shapes them into shattered pieces which fit together. But would they still be able to find happiness? It kind of feels like they're two damaged clocks that have coincidentally been stuck on the same minute and hour hand. Would they be able to heal and move time forward?

Okay so like!!!!

I see it less about bonding over the shared grief itself and more about what their responses to that grief have exposed in each of them. Like, in the beginning and on the surface level, yes. It is the grief and loss and loneliness that brings them together. But they are foils!!! I'm telling you!!! They can learn from each other!!!

I've mentioned probably all of this before in scattered pieces across all my posts at some point but!! I think the lowest common denominator, the core of their dynamic, lies in how they seem to have established their senses of self.

Alucard struggles with how not to define himself by his father, and then having to define himself in opposition to his father. "Slave to our families' wishes" etc. And when that chapter of his life closes he's like, "welp, guess I'll just entomb myself here 🤷" until Trevor and Sypha are like "what?? Dude no??" And he's like "oh haha I guess you're right, I can uphold the legacy of the best parts of both of my parents!!" And they're like "ya!!" But then a month goes by without anyone coming round to say "hey!!! Share that knowledge with me!! Fulfill the role you've given yourself" and he is just... so fucking bored and unfulfilled?

He needed they-who-shall-not-be-named to come along so he could fill that role, needed Greta to come along so he could fill that role. He tells Greta about how rescuing others sort of fills a void for him/gives him purpose, which is honorable, yes. But like... It's also so sad imo?? This comfort in denying his sense of self? "I don't know what to do with myself, just gimme a shout if the world ever needs saving again"?? Like Alucard, honey, babygirl, sweetheart... you need to learn to live for yourself 🥺

Olrox on the other hand is... not selfish exactly, but he knows what he's about and he refuses compromise himself. You killed the only man I ever loved? Okay, then I'm killing you, and no, I don't care if your nine year old son witnesses it. You want the juicy story of why that boy is terrified of the big bad vampire? Okay, but you will learn about my humanity first so you can sit with your cognitive dissonance about it later. You think I'm just going to throw myself at your feet because you promise us all eternal night? How about you kindly go fuck yourself? You happily stump for Erzsebet because she promised you that she'll create a world that will allow you to relive your glory days? Couldn't be me!

Like obviously we have a much more limited viewpoint for Olrox because we know so much less about him and his past, but this is not a guy who's waiting for someone to give him a purpose. He acts alone, he doesn't play nice with others, he has his own agenda, and is even a little bit of a hedonist: investigating the relationship between the abbot and Erzsebet? Might as well fuck a hot monk while I'm at it. I said eat the rich, but I might as well look good doing it. You hate/fear me cause I killed your mom? Get over it already. You think the opera singing night creature is annoying? Well, I'm familiar enough with opera music to know he's actually reading you all for filth, so I think it's great!

I think at the end of the day, Alucard is a character who defines himself by others, not understanding why he still feels so empty and alone. And Olrox is a character who defines himself by his own terms, but in being caught between both human and vampire worlds has learned to push people away because he thinks he is better off that way. But by the end of the season, his worst fear is realized: I cannot do this alone. I am at the mercy of someone else's help.

But Olrox isn't like anyone else Alucard has rescued before. He's a fellow vampire. He's a fellow immortal. He's going to be around for as long as he is. And maybe, in that time, a little bit of that ego can start to rub off on Alucard. Maybe he can learn to live for himself without apology, without feeling like he has to atone for the sins of his father. Maybe, just maybe, he can learn to exist outside of the role of the mythical savior.

Because Olrox doesn't want one of those—heaven's no. He can take care of himself, thank you very much. But what if he could learn he doesn't always have to? Who better to restore his faith in the world than the guy who has his mother's conviction that all of this mess is worth saving so deeply ingrained in him that it's been the primary source of his identity for centuries?

I'm starting to ramble here so I hope this is coherent, but in conclusion: they would be so restorative for each other and look so hot together and that is why I believe in Alurox supremacy 🙏

[absentia-if]

As much as I love K and wish to romance them I don't it's possible for my mc, she would not be angry, sadden is the right term but happy K found someone to help them through everything, happy someone was there for them even if it meant K moving on from her. In fact if canonly possible I think my mc would already know K moved on, hence why she wouldn't reach out to touch them, after talking for few minutes. I think my mc is very good at reading people who she knows, in this case k being her ex-spouse it make sense for me for her to know K moved on. But I think there is also a part of guilt for still wanting to reach out to K, to still be together, to work things out, but she wouldn't want to intrude in K current relationship. Staying friends with K would be hard not because she doesn't want to but the fear that she isn't looking for just friendship but more, and that's not fair for K in her mind.

“I thought you were dead! I mourned you! I grieved for you! You can’t come back after five years and act like nothing has changed for me! That’s not fair.” - K

I think if K were to tell her this it would just confirm her fear of getting close to k and romancing them, things changed, K changed, but i feel like for people in these types of situations like my Mc it's hard to admit your life will never be the same, that you were robbed of your time together with your loved ones and sadly it's time to move, slowly but to heal.

anyways don't mind my very long opinion and perspective on K view very excited to see how it plays out

That's completely understandable! However, I'd like to mention that K hasn't moved on from the MC. They're in the process of moving on from the MC. I made it that way because if K had truly moved on from the MC with Gabby, K wouldn't have been a romantic option to begin with. The situation as a whole is a complex one, and I'm super excited to explore it further. Both when it comes to the MCs interactions with K, their interactions with Gabby, and simply the interactions between K and Gabby. I'm also excited for the people who aren't romancing K to see how everything begins to work out with Gabby.

The quote, if it helps at all, is from a specific moment wherein there's an emotionally charged scene and the MC pushes K too far into a direction that they desperately don't wish to go into, and they sort of snap at you. It's not something that K would just randomly say out of the blue unless they felt strained/stressed emotionally. How the route is planned to go it's pretty black and white, at least when in regard to actively getting on it, when it comes to wishing to get back together with K or not. There won't be a bunch of will-they-won't-they (there will probably be some moments of it but it’s not going to be a main feature), because I don't think the situation needs the added angst of it, coupled with everything else that's going to happen, which is why I've mentioned in the past that you need to be 100% certain that you want to get back together with K because of certain choices that will have to be made.

At the end of the day, K completely understands if the MC doesn't wish to reach out to them, but they'd never wish for you to feel guilty if you were to do so. Gabby would honestly whack them upside the head if it's something they're too dense to notice is happening.

K just wants you to be happy, even if it's not with them, and if you're able to achieve that then everything has settled exactly the way it's supposed to.

I can't wait for you to witness how everything plays out in the end!

[ginneke]

Flash Fiction Friday - #213: "Ten Years Later."

@flashfictionfridayofficial has released today's prompt and I've been ~inspired~.

—

I wrote an AU of my own AU, 'A Seed of Song', in which -- ten years after the Calamity -- a juvenile Rito tries to learn more about her Hylian dad, guided by her dead father's diary.

Told in reverse chronology. 1k words exactly in GDocs.

—

And The Time Has Flown

Characters: The Chick (A Seed of Song), Aryll, Purah (mentioned), Impa, Sidon, Revali (posthumous)

—

"The Director told me you're here. That you're healing. 

"...Are you? I'm not doubting her! But— Are you really gonna wake up? 

"...Are you really my father?

"Nobody can tell me. But if you are… Please. Come back. Come back."

—

"Hi! Um. I'm looking for Lady Purah?"

Aryll pauses and looks the little Rito girl over. She doesn't seem much taller than an eight-year-old, and her russet-and-cream feathers are in substantial disarray from a long, hard flight. 

"The Director?" 

The little girl nods. Her eyes flash with hope.

 "You want that big building up the hill, then," Aryll says, pointing the way, and tries not to smile at the flicker of dismay on the girl's face that soon turns into grim determination.

"Thanks."

"You'll have a hard time getting up there, you know," Aryll calls after the child as she starts hopping away up the path/ Her legs are only little. "It’s late. I'll be running supplies up there tomorrow morning. You're welcome to stay with..."

- us, she almost says, but that's not right anymore. It's just Aryll in that old house across the Firly, after Gramps passed away and Ma went out hunting and never came back, and Nanna didn't wake up one morning, and—

And Dad and Link both died, far away from home, when the Calamity came.

“You promise?”

The girl says it with such suspicion that Aryll has to laugh. “Promise.”

She beckons for the Rito girl to follow. As they near the bridge, she thinks to ask, “What's your name?

The girl chirps out, “I’m—"

—

"...I see."

The child fidgeted from one foot to the other. "Do you... believe me?"

Truthfully, it is quite the wild and incredulous tale. If she hadn't been an unwitting witness to some small part of the tale, she might not have believed it.

But Impa had found herself cast as a silent intermediary, letting Link's letters slip out of the castle with minimal disturbance and no eyes but her own setting sight on their contents.

Champion Revali's replies had been scarcer, and neither side had given much indication of the regard that might imply a shared parental duty, but...

Purah told her, just once, of the champion's chick. Her older sister had always enjoyed keeping secrets. It would come as no surprise if Purah knew something more.

So Impa puts her doubts aside for now, and tells the child what she knows, and sets her on the path towards Purah.

...And that evening, when the shadows fall and the village turns still, Impa walks to the island where the Goddess Statue stands and prays Link might wake and return to them soon.

For Princess Zelda's sake, and for this child who calls herself his.

—

This year, Gaddison is chosen to wield the Ceremonial Trident. Not for the first time, Prince Sidon longs to be bigger. Then he might be the one to carry it instead.

He's distracted anyway. There's a Rito perched on the cliffside the entire time, though they don't make any move to approach, watching the subdued ceremony in silence and shifting only when Laflat steps forward and sings the song that Sidon hates them singing.

By the time the festival ends, and Sidon manages to glance up at the cliffside again, the Rito has gone.

He tracks them to a pond, south of the Veiled Falls, and finds them sitting at the edge of the water, a book in their wings and a bow set within reach.

They are - she is - singing. But it's not the simple version, the way Laflat sang it: it's Mipha's version, and Queen Sela's before her, with a few unknown turns that speak of another voice that passed it on.

Sidon picks up on all of that, but he can't make sense of it. "How do you know that?"

The Rito snaps her book shut, guilty. "I — my dad sang it to me when I first hatched."

"...You're a Rito," Sidon points out.

"Um. Yeah?"

Rito don't marry Zora. Do they? Maybe there's something he doesn't know. "How was your dad a Zora?"

"They... weren't? They were Rito. And Hylian. He's the one who sang to me. My uncle said he was a knight in service to Hyrule's princess..." 

That's wrong. She's wrong. Princess Zelda only had one sworn knight. Everyone says so. And he was...

"The Hylian Champion was gonna be my sister's husband," Sidon tells her with certainty. His father says it's true, and all the councillors believe it too, even if they hate Hylians now. "You're mistaken."

It's the wrong thing to say. The Rito girl flies into a rage. "I'm not lying," she shrieks, "you're lying!" 

"You're wrong!" Sidon yells back. "Why would my sister have made him that armor if they weren't…"

Everyone says it! Mipha loved Link. Mipha wanted to marry Link. So why does this girl think she can barge in and say otherwise?

But she flies off before Sidon can say so, winging her way south, away from Zora's Domain. Well. Good riddance, Muzu would say.

...He still feels bad about it. If he sees her again, he'll try to say sorry.

—

He keeps talking about giving her a name.

No matter that I've told him she has a name, and it's only a sad quirk of his biology that he can't say it. How else would she recognise when I'm talking to her? Really. She doesn't need a Hylian name yet.

—

...Loath as I am to concede the point, he might - inadvertently - have one.

And the name he suggested wasn't that unacceptable...

I wonder if she ever felt this way when I was young. Probably not: the way people speak of her, she thought herself invincible.

I should thank her for that lesson, at least. No warrior is invincible. Any battle might be our last. I knew that, but...

It took until now for me to understand it.

Yes. That name will do. I'll tell him when we meet at Mt. Lanayru…

[why-is-it-always-autumn]

Finished reading Sanderson Secret Project 4! Thoughts below the cut (mostly copied from me messaging my friends on Discord)

the vibes are so scifi. Like it's still Breaths and Shardblades but he's being so science about it

Spren in Stormlight: magical girl fairy companions. Spren in this: AI companion built into your scifi augments

Ooh, Nomad's been to Ashyn? That's the only planet with floating cities near Roshar, iirc

I love that Rosharans always specify shade when they mention eye color. She doesn't just have green eyes she has light green eyes. That adjective is important

Man on the run for his life hasn't slept in a week no way out keeps getting distracted by the urge to do anthropology

Another thing that's very funny is Nomad is talking about how unbelievably low on Investiture he is and it's still, like, unfathomably wealthy by Nalthis standards

Actually I'm gonna look this up. Nomad has 1500 BEUs in chapter one. He had at least 18750 shortly before that.

In Warbreaker, Vasher starts off with around 50 Breaths, which he considers low while acknowledging that many people would not. Most Returned have the equivalent of 2000. This is enough to be worshiped as gods.

Ah okay looking at the coppermind for the Heightenings this makes sense. It's all very consistent

Fifth Heightening: 2000 Breaths: fast healing, high durability, casual magic Ninth Heightening: 20000 Breaths: oh, you know ;) Tenth Heightening: 50000 Breaths: now that's just excessive

Now I will exit the coppermind before I have another "let me just check Rayse's species midway through reading RoW" moment [Fun fact: vital status is listed right next to species!]

I'm sorry did this man break his radiant oaths and then Mayalaran his shardblade back to pseudo life? Is that what's happening here?

Chapter 6 "No. Even in my head I will not admit Rock is right about the airsick lowlander thing"

I thought part of that phrase sounded like Nazh's name!

Gonna be honest, given how very dead He is, I somehow doubt that Adonalsium will remember their plight eventually

Love that "one of them is secretly a dragon" is a legitimate possibility

Huh. I wonder if they're Ghostblood Scadrians, Harmony-sent Scadrians, or just random people

Chapter 9: "Walking into a storm wasn't something usually done on [Roshar]" Unless you're in the middle of dinner and you really need a knife, of course.

I really wonder how confusing it would be to read ssp4 without reading Stormlight Archive

Oh boy. Wit's here!

Like if you only read the secret projects as if they were a standalone series how long would it take to realize that the cabin boy, the coatrack, and the hologram are the same person

"back before God died" You mean before you and your friends killed God? It didn't just happen there was a whole 17 person conspiracy

Hoid has two modes: "I am a silly little man" and "I am older than your planet and I will weep as I allow it to burn". No in between

"Adonalsium will remember our plight eventually" Man who just got off a skype call with one of the people who murdered Adonalsium ten thousand years ago:...

"Can you fly?" "Who told you I used to- oh you mean fly a ship. Yeah probably."

"The Chorus tells of our old world..." "Yes, yes, the forests of Hell, we've all been there"

The implication that there's a thriving interplanetary job market for specifically bronze Mistings...

If there's one thing that I've learned from Homestuck, it's to never turn your back on the body

Every new hint about what went down on Roshar in the back half of Stormlight just increases my fear about what's going to go down in the back half of Stormlight,

"I was destined to unite all of my people" Man who used to work for Dalinar Kholin: l, and I cannot stress this enough, ol

"Your planet shouldn't have different countries. You should have conquered and unified it all" Sir I cannot stress enough how Big Roshar is. They can barely keep the Alethi Princedoms unified there are so many more people on Roshar than here and they are so much more spread out

Now I'm just picturing that Ron Swanson meme. "I laugh at who I want - Wit"

It feels appropriate that this guy's ancestors are from the planet most closely associated with Ambition

It also feels appropriate that Mercy was there, tbh

Love that this guy is not a particularly soldier-y guy by Rosharan standards, but he's got so much soldier energy in comparison to Canticle that no one has yet noticed that he physically can't hurt anyone

Love that they talk about actual rocket science but it's interspersed with phrases like "raw investiture" and "zephyr aether" and "why take all the effort to travel the void of space when you can just walk through another dimension to travel between planets?"

Yes, yes, the plot to kill God, we've all heard of it

Khriss's Second Law :D

I'm really wondering how newbie friendly this book is. Like, they're explaining everything, but they're also throwing a lot of terms around and all of them are things I already know. For me, who read Warbreaker, when he mentions Commands as a thing on Nalthis that's just a refresher. If that's all the context I have...

The fact that this book includes both hoverbikes and a room full of angry ghosts in the same town

Oh that is a very different perspective on the whole lighteyes/darkeyes thing

Ah. Hemolurgy. From Threnodites. He's right, the cosmere is an increasingly small place

Highspren????

What did he even swear to?

I mean "Auxiliary" isn't a very Honorspren name and obviously not all of Bridge Four are Windrunners but Most Of Them Are

262 "You threw out your conscience years ago, I know, though I never had a chance to meet her" Seriously what is going to go down in the back half of Stormlight

Roshar Man: yeah you can totally go into the murder storm my friend Kal does it all the time lmao

They're called Skybreakers because they break you. Storms yeah Bridge Four!

Yessss He did the thing! I was hoping he'd do the salute!

Oh, that's who Zellion is

Hoid, Zahel, etc: I'm changing my name just for fun. Just for the vibes. New planet new me :) Also same planet new me :) Aliases are so fun :) Elegy: I'm literally not the same person anymore but I am keeping the name because it fits me really well. Dead me can change her name idc

Yeah something really bad goes down in the back half of Stormlight. They should not be that surprised to see a Rosharan.

Awakened Steelmind? This tech is so fun

"I like to think that this is all part of God's plan. That He made before He died :)" -- Tootsie Noodles, Starship (2011)

"God had nothing to do with it it was all Auxiliary." "And what's Auxiliary?" [Zellion remembers that spren are fragments of Honor and Cultivation, who are/were themselves Shards of Adonalsium] "..."

"Sigzil was a capable fighter, but far from the Order's best" -- Rhythm of War chapter 6

I'm done btw

Also I didn't talk about her much but I love how down for murder Elegy is. She loves her sister and she's learning all about different kinds of strength but she was so happy when she had that shardblade

Also, speaking of Stormlight, didn't love Nomad mentioning that glowing red eyes remind him of his friends! Hope he just meant Renarin and Rlain but I'm worried he didn't!

In retrospect it makes perfect sense that they already know about the Shattering. They fled Threnody, which is only Like That because of the Odium/Ambition/Mercy fight that killed Uli Da and Splintered Ambition. Those three only existed as Shards because they had already killed Adonalsium.

Also I hadn't realized or had forgotten that Shades are a "being from Threnody" thing, rather than a "dying on Threnody" thing

Fascinating that Auxiliary's corpse can still change forms even when his consciousness is completely gone. That implies that Maya and the others did something on purpose to lock themselves into sword form, rather than it being a direct consequence of the spen dying.

Also don't think I didn't notice Sanderson deliberately dancing around exactly what Sigzil's oaths were. He was Fourth Ideal in two different Orders and everything past Second is personalized

Of course the Scadrians don't interfere except to ruin things. That's so Scadrial

Love Nomad repeatedly going "Okay... I'm Azish, though." Man isn't Thaylen or Alethi it's a completely different culture that happens to share a planet. The Cinder King has no concept of this. The Greater Good doesn't even understand the difference between Roshar and Scadrial

I was laughing at the Cinder King for thinking that you could just conquer all of Roshar (it's so big), and then I remembered the Voidbringer reveal in... I think Words of Radiance? And just started laughing harder. They literally did conquer the entire planet, other than the Shattered Plains and a few other remote areas. That canonically happened

Adonalsium is literally mentioned more in ssp4 than all the other Cosmere books combined lol