#a perfect ending for a perfect show - and i'm glad they didn't go too tragic and dramatic like we thought it would

[kdramaxoxo]

Sorry if you've been asked this a million times, but who are your favorite couples from the last couple years?

Congratulations Anon! This ask is AMAZING and I've never been asked it before! Shocking right?? :P

My favorite K-Drama Couples 2023- Spring 2024

NOTE: I tried to include 2022 but my list got too long :)

Moving (Bong-Seok & Hee-Soo, Joo-Won & Hye-Won & Doo-Shik & Mi-Hyun): It's very obvious by this list how much I love this drama and how many blorbo-from-my-shows it created for me. And I know I'm only reviewing couples, but I was blown away by this drama. I don't even LIKE superhero shows, but I made an exception for this one and I'm so glad I did. If you like character development and plays on good vs. evil, I highly rec this! Bong-Seok and Hee-Soo are one of my favorite couples EVER and I loved the softness and epic romance of Joo-Won & Hye-Won. (And we all know that scene at the rainy window with Bong-Seok and Hee-Soo). These couples are really EVERYTHING.

Tale of the Nine Tailed: 1938 (Lee-rang & Yeo-Hee): This is the only time I've ever watched a season two and liked it better than season one. It's probably because it featured my favorite tragic half fox Lee Rang and gave him a love line with a mermaid. The two are SO sweet together---SOB!

Tell me That You Love Me (Mo-Eun & Jin-Woo): Wow. Maybe one of the softest couples I've ever seen in existence. Just watching them together was like a warm blanket in front of a cozy fireplace. I didn't like the ending choice which is a shame, but the drama was super well done and I still think people should watch it. There is also a very cute high school couple too!

The Eighth Sense (Jae-Won & Ji Hyun): not to be dramatic (just kidding!) this is the best bl kdrama I've ever seen. Literally this is it! I don't even want to tell you about the couple because I want you to just watch it! I'm dying for the writer to make another one because we need more queer media like this one!

Crash Course In Romance (Haeng-Seon & Chi-Yeol): Give me a noona romance featuring a man who has not felt warmth in 1000 years (ok not literally but this dude needs to have a warm meal made by an amazing lady!) This drama fell apart at the end (this seems to be a theme this year) but the couple makes it worth watching.

King The Land (Gu-Won & Sa-Rang): If you're looking for a low stakes, totally fluffy, rom com with TONS of chemistry (featuring MY BIAS!), King the Land is for you. Amazing skinship, kisses and just like a really fun duo to watch. Plot? Not so much but there are a billion good moments-- just look at the tags: They are full of cuteness.

Love After Divorce Season 4 (Benita & Jerome): Listen, I know I'm cheating by putting a reality tv show on this list but if you're in the mood for one, I highly recommend this season (it's on Netflix). Benita and Jerome will steal your heart and they are still together! I'm rooting for them. <3

See you in my 19th Life (Ji-Eum & Seo-Ha, Da-Hoon & Cho-Won): My bias Shin Hye Sun kills it in this drama featuring past life romance. Honestly it's not fair because this drama is totally my vibe so I'm obviously going to love the mains. But when a drama gives you more than one love line and they are both interesting and lovely?? Chef's Kiss!

Dr. Slump (Jeong-Woo & Ha-Neul): This drama TOTALLY fell apart at the end and left us all very disappointed, but that's not because our leads weren't a perfect couple! They bonded over mental illness and even took their meds together. Communication: check. Comfort/Healing: check. Chemistry: check!

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract (Yun-Woo & Tae-Ha). You probably don't know this but I've been following Bae In Hyuk's career since we was in silly little web dramas. Seeing him as a lead is really wild! To be fair, he's not nearly the actor that Lee Se Young is, but do we care about that when there's a time slip romance drama featuring a historical lady who's been thrown into the future and has to fake marry someone who looks just like her de*d husband for reasons??

Thank you so much for this ask - it was super fun!! Maybe I should do 2022 next?? :D

[jerzwriter]

So, I have to admit, I didn't love Daisy Jones and the Six. I liked it, but I did not love it. Sometimes I felt like the story dragged on and on, but they weren't delving deep enough. I was connected to the characters to a degree, but I didn't love the characters. I went into the final two episodes assuming I'd leave the series feeling as "Meh" as I did about the first eight episodes.

Wrong. The last two episodes, particularly the last one, were very well done, and I'm glad I stuck it out.

The day that led up to their final concert... the perfect storm of absolutely everything going wrong, yet you have to show up big, like it or not. Man, you haven't lived until you've experienced that, and they did a wonderful job conveying the emotion that goes along with it.

Karen and Graham broke my heart. They weren't meant to be, that was fairly obvious from the start, but you don't have to be destined for forever to love... that's a lesson many don't understand. Just because you're not end game doesn't mean it wasn't real.... it doesn't even mean that it ever fully ends.

Eddie - oh - Eddie. "It's fine. I'm fine." It's not fine, it was never fine for him, and it doesn't appear it ever will be. The conversation he had with Warren is so poignant... but there is no right answer. What's the right thing to do? Surrender and accept where you are? I mean, it worked out great for Warren. He seems pretty happy... for the most part. Eddie, not so much. But I don't know, I'm not sold on settling, but maybe I am? I have to let that one simmer.

Camilla and Billy.... ugh... what to even say? I'm so conflicted. I never got the "love of my life" vibes for real from him, no matter what he said. And for so much of the story, it really felt like Camilla was the sacrificial wife, the one who would always be there, the one who would always "win", but it just felt like such a consolation prize. I'm sure others saw things differently, but that's how it made me feel. Even in the end, she felt like the long-suffering wife, living a happy, albeit tragically short life, but it felt like there was always something missing.

I didn't have any knowledge of the book, or the story, going in... so I was shocked that it was Camilla & Billy's daughter, Julia, filming. I also didn't fully understand why, though the ending put that into perspective.

Now Daisy. I've been told I would love her even more in the book, and I did not really love her for episodes 1-8, but somehow, in 9-10, she reeled me in. The conversation with her "mother" (using that term generously) the day of the final show was... ouch! God, I hate to say it, but I know that person, and I know that feeling, and for a moment, I was gutted... but I love how she responded - "turn on the fucking radio." BAM! The moment when you realize that the person you were begging to love you for your entire life was never worthy of the love you gave them. THAT is when it all changes ... for the better. And for Daisy, it did, and that made me happy.

But rebirth is no different than birth, and there is a lot of pain to go through before you get to the beautiful end result; watching all of them so broken that night was sad, but for most, the future was bright... you don't get there without the work.

Oh, and in spite of all this, Rod was still my freaking favorite character on the show... followed closely by Simone and Teddy. It is too late for Teddy, but the other two need a spin-off. lol

So while the series didn't even touch TLOU (sorry, lol, I'm very spoiled, and my expectations are very high right now! lol) It finished strong, and I'm really glad I watched stuck it out - it was an enjoyable series.

[armed-saphire]

NOW ITS UR TURN WHO ARE YOUR MGS FAVS AND WHY!1!1?1!1?1!1?11!1! ٩( 'ω' )و

EHEHEEEE OK SO I'll say my fav from each game

Mgs1 is def Liquid he. He's so overdramatic it's really funny. He did so many backflips while explaining his tragic backstory 🥰 and then he just fucking died and turned into an arm which is the real tragedy (I have so many random HCs for him it's insane... I also rewrote his backstory a little...the recessive thing is so dumb)

Mgs2 I think it's a split between Raiden and Fortune. Raiden I really enjoyed playing as a character who is just... idk how to put it I just like that he's flawed and not some morally perfect charismatic guy. It feels like he's set up to be that way and then he whines about everything and is very dismissive at some points. It feels like he's a real person and not perfectly crafted to be the ultimate stereotypical good guy protagonist who can stay cool and collected in every situation. He has his moments where he lets emotion get the better of him and I like it a lot.

Fortune I have less to say about her but it doesn't mean I like her less. I think she's a really tragic character backstory wise but I also like how she sort of "plays into it" I guess? Ocelot points it out himself near the end of the game ("you couldn't get enough of the drama"). I thought the ending where she found out she could've died any time and she didn't have some magic ability was sad too and I lowkey wish she didn't die and was like redeemed somehow (imagine she comes back in mgs4 and has to go against Vamp or something that would've been so cool)..anyway I guess I didn't actually have less to say I like Fortune a lot blehhh😋

mgs3 AGH.. EVA ILY she is such a well written character and I love her so much I could write an essay on her if I wanted but I'll keep it more brief here. She's like a perfect subversion of the typical sexualized woman in video game thing...it's what she's doing as a spy for the mission and the best part is it doesn't even really work lol nice job snake. The game itself even adheres to whether Eva is in her Eva persona or her Tatyana one. It's....aghhhhghhh so great. (I have so many thoughts about her and Liquid btw)

Mgs4...difficult but probably Screaming Mantis. For real this time not a lot to say about her but I do like her a lot more since playing the game she went from my least fav B&B unit member to my fav one. She was really fun to watch in all her cutscenes and her boss fight was one of the best MGS boss fights I've ever done tbh. The callbacks and references to the first game were so good I won't lie I was giggling kicking my feet a lil bit. Screaming Mantis ily I have so many thoughts <333

Peace Walker ermmm Kaz and Paz equal I can't decide..also maybe Amanda. Yeah I like everyone a lot 😭 and Cécile....not Snake tho sorry lol. I haven't finished the game so I haven't gotten the full character arcs of everyone so it's hard to pinpoint exact explanations but you know I love Kaz forever and ever mwah mwah (I'm also a transfem Kaz truther and I'm RIGHT!!!). Amanda has a lot of really cool tapes explaining a lot of...not really exposition but it gives a lot of great context to her character. And her voice acting especially in cutscenes is some of the best voice acting I've seen in an mgs game so it adds a lot. Paz I need to learn more about her. I know basic plot points but not the inbetween stuff that really lets you get to know her. I do feel really sad for her though, Kojima decided he wanted shock value instead of a female character having a nice ending 🤷‍♀️ Sucks.

Mgsv QUIET!!!! QUIET ILY!!! she's soooooo OUGH. I'm glad a lot of the fandom has fixed her from her extremely flawed portrayal in the game because it shows what really could've been and I think I latch more onto that than the version of her in the game just a little. The foundation they were working with was still really good. The way they show her and venom building such a strong bond despite never having a single conversation is really well done and I like it a lot. Quiet ily my favourite creaturething killgirl my favourite ear biter offer...

[queers-gambit]

Not so heavenly surprised broke me but I really loved it. My ex left when I was pregnant and it broke me and I also lost our son when he was less than a year old and I lost my dad around the same time but obviously I was 17 and unmarried. Although your story had a horrible tragic end It was a really good emotional read for me idk why normally I’d hate to read something that hits so close to home but it just felt therapeutic

If you ever decide to write something like that I would love to read a version where instead of joel and Tommy showing up to get her and Katie she ends up in the same place as Tommy or finds Tommy along the way and she’s reunited with Joel minus the whole 20 year separation thing. Like Joel losing his wife then his daughter, being on his own and struggling for so long and then finally finding not only his little brother but his wife and child and realising he wouldnt give it up for the world would be perfect.

I know you’ll probably never write it and maybe never will even see this but I just wanted to say thanks for writing not so heavenly surprise it was an emotional therapeutic rollercoaster of a read and is perfect as it is but if you ever feel like writing a version with a happy ending just know I’d be first in line to read that one too.

Hope you’re well❤️

hello, my sweet anon. i reread your message a few times and honestly, my heart goes out to you. i am so deeply sorry for what you had to go through, and i want you to know that you are an incredible person - and i am so fucking proud of you. look at all you overcame. look at all you've done. look how you're still here and making the decision to heal everyday. i am so sorry for your losses, but i want to say that i commend you for the strength and resilience required to endure such experiences.

again, i am so sorry for your losses, but i am so very glad you are still here to share these emotions. how honored i feel that you took a chance and read Not So Heavenly Surprise, and how pleased i am to hear it didn't trigger you too bad. sometimes, we like seeing reflections... and perhaps that's why reading might've felt cathartic.

as an author, allow me the moment to thank you for your readership and support. i am elated to learn you had *any* emotion. you absolute babe. you stunner. you incredibly resilient sweetheart.

so, as for your request, the only reason i'm saying no is because i don't want to rewrite Not So Heavenly Surprise. it's a nice concept you've pitched, but i don't want to rewrite a new fight, new break-up, then time skips. it'll make me cringe trying to write, whole time my wonky brain would go wonky and keep repeating, "ah, shit, you wrote this already!!"

however, if you'd like to adjust details and resubmit your request, i'd be interested in at least considering the idea of a new one shot.

i hope your blessings in this life start soon. i hope you continue to heal. i hope you're doing well and continue to do so. all my love and however many forehead kisses you want! 🖤

[thebirkenstocksocialist]

Hi dear,

I dont't know if you remember me but you said i could send you asks about uwma and so here i am to ask you if you've recovered from deanpharm because i haven't 🥲 their story is so sweet but because its entwined with kornin it leaves me feeling sad as well <\3 how do i get over the sad feelings

Hello darling, of course I do! I am so glad you wrote. Let me see if my perspective can help you, I hope it will. I tend to be verbose, so bear with me. I have watched Until We Meet Again twice now, and I'm guessing I'll rewatch again. For me, I find the story healing.

So much queer media, historically, has been about reliving queer trauma (now I know that BL are arguably not queer media as they are intended for a female audience but we all know that queer viewership, and creation, is huge and growing. But I digress). Anyway...the sort of "trauma porn" of queer trauma has been heavy on so many of our hearts for so long. So many of us have just wanted queer joy, queer love, queer happiness. I think that's part of the queer attraction to BL in general. And, this is definitely true for me. Witnessing queer joy is fun and healing and so many BL are focused on that (I don't watched the ones that are sad/tragic).

Now, for me, I was hesitant to watch UWMA because of the trauma and my own personal trauma around suicide, specifically. I chose to watch it first, because of the hype around Between Us, and second because I could go in, right away, knowing that Korn and In died by suicide.

What I found as I watched the show was surprisingly healing for me, so perhaps my perspective can help. I sort of watch the show and think of it as an allegory for queer history, and change that has happened over time. And perhaps that is how the story is intended? Within the romance, Dean and Pharm have the opportunity to fall in love, live their relationship out loud, experience broad support and acceptance, and work through their (still valid) fears about homophobia. They are also working through this on behalf of Korn and In.

What it feels like, for me, is Dean and Pharm truly honoring the past. Honoring the work, love, and often suffering or even death of their queer elders. The folks to came before them, and didn't get to live in the world they live in. Their queer elders are literally a part of them, but aren't all of our queer elders now, a part of us too?

For me, watching Dean and Pharm love each other, end up together, be loved and supported by not only their peers, but their families as well, and to also find love, connection, and forgiveness with the elder generations (Korn's father, In's sister) is just overwhelmingly gorgeous to me. I am starting to cry thinking about it. But not in a sad way, just in an emotional way. I feel moved.

I think the story of reincarnation works because it is told within a culture where that concept is present. In my opinion, it wouldn't work as a Western centered story. It's definitely not perfect (Pharm deserved pleasurable connection with Dean FFS) but it is very well done for the most part, and tells a truly impactful story.

So my dear, although their path was challenging, and they had to do work through unresolved traumas, it was founded in love and supported the whole way through. They healed, and they represent what we have today. And also - the work we are doing moving forward.

Plus, you know they stayed together forever, and probably met again, in another life, right? Maybe they are always here, forging paths for the next queer generation, representing our progress and healing.

It's a nice idea, isn't it?

[thegroovywitch]

It makes me so sad with what happened to Jimmy with his career. Yes he had a very successful career as a session musician, being in the yardbirds, and then Led Zeppelin. It’s about his life after Led Zeppelin. He lost his spark, and sadly he was never as good as he was when he was in Led Zeppelin. He was so overworked throughout the zeppelin years that he turned to drugs. AND THE WORST ONE TOO he had heroin and I also heard Richard encouraged him to try it (I fucking hate Richard so much). Anyways it’s sad because Jimmy was on so much drugs and alcohol that his playing became sloppy, especially at live aid. And I often hear people saying that Jimmy is a sloppy guitarist. And yes I hear so many people praising jimmy’s guitar playing and they are so right because he is such an amazing guitarist and producer. But it makes me wonder what else he could’ve done if it weren’t for the drugs and being around the wrong people. Because he did show a lot of his talent, but I always wonder how much more potential we could’ve gotten out of him in the 80s and 90s if he didn’t do drugs and wasn’t overworked. But I’m glad that he survived that dark time and hopefully now he’s enjoying his last years with family.

dear anon, i often think about this as well. the drugs didn't just hurt jimmy, but they hurt the entire band. jim was surely the most affected, even though things ended up in the worst case scenario for bonzo, as we all know.

i often find myself thinking about this and regretting them not getting help sooner, because i feel like there was still so much the band could've done, and they could've gotten bigger and bigger and who knows where they would be today.

many say zeppelin was done by 1976, some argue that their last two albums are not on the same level as the others, but to me they were just a manifestation of what the members were going through at the time. that's how art works, what you feel, you produce.

i do believe that, had bonzo not passed away, they would have all gotten help sooner or later and they would have had a chance to rise on top again. music was changing fast and more than ever it was acquiring their sound. a lot of mainstream 80s-90s rock were bands knocking off led zeppelin, so imagine if the one band who inspired an entire musical shift and genre - metal - was still around by that time! its influence on the music industry would've been immense, and i firmly believe that rock would be fairly different today. the band had stated various times that working together was incredibly satisfying for every member involved, and that there was no eagerness to break up or for any member to go solo... they had endured so much together and by september 1980 they were about to embark on an american tour, their morale having just been rejuvenated by a short tour of europe. in the words of john paul jones:

“Morale was very high. We were in really good spirits. We were stripped down a lot, musically, and as an act, we remember back to what we were doing. Punk kind of woke us up again. "Oh yeah, I remember what we are supposed to be doing here." It was about to go for a change of gears and round two... By the time John [Bonham] died, we all had sorted it out and were ready to go again. He died in rehearsals for an American tour.”

jimmy said in an interview (sadly i can't recall which one) that him and bonzo were already planning to record a heavier hard rock album - in contrast to the more mellow "in through the outdoor" - and the timing was just perfect, given the fact that this was the very beginning of the metal era (a genre very heavily inspired by led zeppelin and 70s hard rock, in style of music, hair, clothes... you name it)

i'm sure the band has long dwelled on how things would've gone as well. especially jimmy: zeppelin was his own creation and it finally came to a tragic end. no wonder he was so lost and had pretty much the lifestyle of a recluse from '80 to late '83. sometimes you just gotta be happy you survived - especially in his case.

and while zeppelin is zeppelin, it's almost untouchable to me, there is still some wonderful stuff released by all three surviving members that is definitely worth checking out and loving... someone should talk jimmy through uploading his movie soundtracks to streaming platforms, though.

i think he owns all rights to those albums, no? death wish II was released on swan song records while lucifer rising was self-released. scream for help by john paul jones is also missing.

oh and about jimmy being sloppy, i do believe he always was a little, and the drugs surely didn't fix the "problem".

but it's part of his style! it makes his solos more exciting to me, and you gotta be a little sloppy to play the blues anyway. i think at most it just makes him more unique and his playing more recognisable.

[ninjakk]

Hi, I really love your analysis and meta so much. The meta about the sandlewood scent is just so sweet.

I've just seen some put down lwj. They said along the lines like lwj didn't help wwx in his first life and just stand by the injustice. And they also said lwj and wwx ended up only because it is the end couple, and wwx didn't have any feelings for lwj in his first life and they go far to say how after meeting in Yunmeng wwx even said he met someone worse than jzx to jc indicating wwx didn't like lwj at all. I have lost for words after reading them.

I am really really sorry to bring them here. Since I enjoy and like your meta alot, I just think about you and wanted to know your thoughts on these.

Hi Anon,

Aww thank you so much 🥰 I'm glad you're enjoying my posts. I think the Sandalwood scene is one of my favourite sublet hints at WWXs deep feelings for LWJ. I'm glad you enjoyed it 🙏🏻

As for your question - first and foremost, fandom is unfortunately full of discord, you're bound to come across people who don't agree with you on some things. Try not to take what they say to heart, especially when their comments are unfounded and rather ridiculous in my opinion. Some opinions are of course debatable! And other opinions should be respected as much as possible - but some are just people trying to provoke a reaction sadly.

LWJ didn't help WWX in his first life:

This is simply not true. LWJ tried to help him in his own way, but because of misunderstandings his help was interpreted in the wrong way. WWX finally realises this later in the novel while regaining consciousness after being stabbed. Granted LWJ went about trying to help WWX in what could be considered the 'wrong way', and by the time he realised this himself, it was tragically too late. He was under the impression that the cultivation technique WWX was using was harming him both physically and mentally. He was just going off what he could see. He had a very limited point of view due to WWX hiding a lot of what happened to him - so he did the best he could under the circumstances. LWJ inviting WWX back to Gusu was his way of protecting him. And when that didn't work, he did the only thing he could and stood up for WWX and the Wens during the sect meetings he attended. He even went against his own sect and the cultivation world to help him in the end. He was willing to give his life to save WWX, what more could anyone do!

WWX didn't have feelings for LWJ in his first life:

I've posted so much meta pointing out this is totally not the case. It amazes me that some people can't pick up on it. As I've asked before - if he was paying all that attention to a girl, people would instantly agree he had a massive crush on her LWJ. There are SO many huge clues WWX is head over heels for LWJ in his first life. I didn't even realise it was a romance until I saw WWXs major crush showing through from the start of the novel. As for the comment about LWJ being worse than JZX - it's bravado for JC. He's just come back from seeing LWJ and is feeling very rejected, he looks upset and JC picks up on this. He didn't really mean anything by it. Not long after he said that to JC he is sat looking up at the stars and thinking about LWJ and their time together at the CR. He wanted to remind LWJ of the happier times they had. And let's not forget, he threw a flower at him to get his attention originally 💕🌸

WWX and LWJ only ended up together because they were the "end couple":

I mean, this is just ludicrous. It's quite an insult to MXTX as a writer to be honest. She doesn't just throw two people together just because. She masterfully creats a couple that are perfect for each other and blends their romance into her novels seamlessly. WWX and LWJ were quite simply made for each other, in every sense of the word.

Overall, I would pay no attention to the person making silly comments. Block them if they're upsetting you and move on my lovely. I recommend a dose of the Cloud Recesses chapters to cheer you up 🥰☁️🐇

[undertheknightwing]

just finished s2 and finally met Jon-El!

rip to whoever the writer for this season was but I'm different. Au in my head where Jon-El's horrified "I've never killed anyone before" actually mattered in the show, the Kents managed to convince him that he wasn't broken and he didn't have to keep doing things he didn't want to do, and suddenly have triplets instead of twins <3

Even if the show didn't go down that path it's absolutely absurd that Jon-El didn't start poking at Jon's insecurities and all the ways the Kents had failed him to try getting Jon to merge! Especially if Jon-El was manipulating Jon not out of a place of malice, but because he genuinely believed that merging could "heal" both of them. That could have been so interesting to see on screen! And that's just the tip of the iceberg; as an angst writer myself, I can think of so many amazing plotlines and arc ideas for Jon-El and I'm genuinely baffled that the writers didn't try to pursue any of them.

But anyway, love Jon-El, and he can commit all the crimes he wants because he's amazing and has all the rights <3

and on an unrelated note: CLARK LITERALLY LEFT JON DOING *CHORES* WHILE HE AND JORDAN WENT TO WORK ON POWERS??

Taking a billion points of psychic damage from that alone, but then Clark never actually talked to Jon when he was upset about it?? AHFDKJHADSKJFHSAKJFHKSBG. absolutely murdered me. okay. I genuinely cannot get over the way Clois acted, mostly around Jon but there were some bad moments with Jordan too; their lack of parenting skills this season left a really bad taste in my mouth at so many parts. I might have to rewatch s1 to remind myself why I liked them at all in the first place tbh

Anyway, I'm glad that this season gave us sweet moments between Jon, Jordan, and Nat. I'd love to see more of the three of them being chaotic siblings in the future.

You just described the perfect ending 😭

I wanted to see Clark trying to save Jon-El from his self-destruction so badly. He only tried once to get Jon-El to see what he was doing was wrong and it was a lame attempt at that.

And really why should have Jon-El believed Clark? He's currently being manipulated by a cult leader who's so strong she has a hold over thousands of ADULTS, who he sees as a person who truly cares about him, and has most likely been emotionally abused by a man who looks just like Clark. Of course he's not listening or caring about Clark's attempt that was pretty much just "hey you're bad right now, but if join me and you'll be good". But considering Clark can't even talk to or understand his Jon, it's not a surprise he can't reach Jon-El, who's just a darker parallel of his son.

Also I just wanna say that Jon-El's "I never killed anyone before" line reminded me so much of Gar's "I bit him" line AND THAT SHIT HURT.

Jon-El was done so dirty storyline wise, they took this tragic and complex character and turned him into Jordan's villain of the week to beat up. He didn't even get a proper send off, he just got beat up in a school gym and that was it. Never see or hear from him again. Such a waste of a character.

I don't think him wanting to merge was ever out of malice in canon. He did genuinely believe merging would fix him, that's what Ally made him believe. She made him see himself as broken and without purpose, told him he'll only be fixed/healed if he merges with Jon, so he saw Jon as the last thing that would save him and wouldn't let anything or one get in his way. Jon was a lighthouse in a raging storm to him.

And as badly as I think Jon-El wanted to merge, I just want to point out that after rewatching his episodes a few times I noticed there was many times Jon-El could have killed the Kents but he didn't even though they were keeping him from Jon. He never threatens his bizarro family with death either, only tells them to disappear.

I think he has no problem throwing punches as warning or threat to stay out of his way but killing his family? even if they aren't his family. I don't think that's a line he could cross. If did have no problem crossing that line he would have killed Clark with the kryptonite shard but he didn't, he left him there with Lana who he had to know could have saved Clark before he died.

I agree 100% I support Jon-El's rights and wrongs <3 but also want him to go to therapy and heal.

Clois' parenting damaged me in so many ways in season 2. It was such a huge mess. Even the official S&L insta joked about Clark ditching Jon to spend time with Jordan instead which isn't funny. Especially after a scene where it seemed like Jon was hinting at having concerning thoughts.

Such a weird season with an even weirder storyline.

[scarletlotus182]

Just finished ZZ Gundam~!

Some scattered thoughts on the finale and on the show itself

Final episode was a solid 7/10. It felt a lot like they were trying to capture the magic that was in the final confrontation between Char and Amuro in the original MSG but didn't have nearly the same build up. And I feel like that's a huge shame because Haman herself has had a massive buildup as a villain and was FANTASTIC, Judau, also a great protagonist. I fucking love Judau and Haman as our main figures! But they really just didn't have much chemistry, imo.

I like that the finale tried to wrap up a lot and put a neat little bow on things rather than just immediately end after the bad guys' hq exploded (though it was great in MSG) but it felt like a lot of context was missing. Still, it was all worth it to see Kamille recovered and earn his happy ending. I did also like that the ZZ Gundam carried the will of all the people lost in the show AND Zeta, I was so happy to see Four again :' )

---

Overall, I liked ZZ a lot, and I'm glad I stuck with it. It certainly wasn't perfect and while there's things about it I liked more than other gundam series, I don't think I'd place it above Zeta. It kind of rubs me the wrong way the way that puru and puru two get discarded and how quickly everyone moves on from it. Especially because Puru, imo, was the best character in the show. Yeah she was a brat and really annoying sometimes but we also got to see her grow and struggle with her programming. I get it's part of the message but it's really sad to me that none of the cyber newtypes ever managed to recover and all met horribly tragic endings.

I find Judau to be a really fun protagonist too who strikes a bit of a middle ground between Amuro and Kamille's maturity and growth throughout the series. But something that never stopped bugging me was how kind of one-track minded he was and how he always manages to brush people off, especially those that care about him. Maybe it really is because he's the youngest protag yet but there were some parts that just got me really frustrated with the writing.

I also felt the Roux/Judau pairing comes in out of nowhere. Really, Judau kinda shows no interest in anyone and to me I feel like he could be read as aro/ace.

Still, as far as ships go my opinions are 1. Roux/Elle 2. Judau/Elle 3. Haman/Me 4. Maybe a hot take- Beecha/Iino

and that's all the messy thoughts I have on ZZ after finishing it

[iamacolor]

hello violette, it's your secret santa! I hope you're doing well and that you have a wonderful week! What are your favorite dramas of 2022?

hello secret santa, it's lovely to hear from you! I'm having a great week so far (I have an old tumblr friend visiting from the us for the first time so it's fun), I hope you are too 😊

I was going to say that I didn't watch that many dramas this year but then I counted and it was almost 20 which isn't such a small number - but tbh I did drop a few + some of them were completed dramas that aired in the last couple of years so anyway before I keep on rambling (you'll see very quickly that I can't give short answers to anything lol), my 2022 faves would be tomorrow (it was a very unique concept even if at times at thought they weren't handling things with all the delicacies that the subject of suicide deserved but they had the best angsty tragic couple ever even if they only gave them like 3 minutes per episode for most of the show but that tension and the characters were so compelling omg I was hooked), extraordinary attorney woo (very very strong start and much less strong ending but some of my fave characters(youngwoo was such a great main character)/character dynamics and some of my fave romantic scenes ever - I was obsessed when the show was airing - also very very strong performances and I loved that so many people were talking about it I learned so much and there were so many cool conversations around it), if you wish upon me (ok I technically still haven't finished this one because it's not an easy one to watch for me - it brought a lot of memories of losing my grandparents - but it's very special and I love a good old found family trope and I love sooyoung's character, it's the perfect mix of sad and heartwarming so I'm going slowly hut surely), to my star 2 (they really got us good with that ending and I knew it was going to be angsty so I waited until it was all out to binge it and I loved it). special mention for alchemy of souls which had some very very strong moments and some very boring ones and probably too many plot lines at once but which explored some really cool themes about magic, identity, loyalty, love, affection etc, had one of my fave mentor/mentee/romantic relationship ever (jang uk and naksu are so weird and tortured and fun, i love them) and was not afraid to give us an ending where everything goes wrong for part 1 - I was begging for them to go all angsty and tragic and I'm so glad they did (I'm so curious about part 2) - and for once upon a small town which was short (too short) but just very cute and sweet and pretty and nice but that came at just the right time for me and was actually more thoughtful than I expected and a business proposal which was just super fun and hari was like the absolute dream girl and best girlfriend ever, it was a great romcom and I liked that the secondary couple was also very present (and hot)

what about you???

[paso-liati]

Finished Series 1 Episode 9 of Disco...

Ancient S1 Spoilers below the cut

For a first season of a Star Trek show it's remarkably not bad? If you're on my blog for a hot min you'll know I LOVE DS9 (and really all Trek), but got damn most of the ST series had rough first seasons, and my great love, DS9, started with episodes that felt like auto-parody and some were near unwatchable. By S3, DS9 really hit it's stride.

I'm not saying Disco is perfect and I doubt I'll love it more than DS9 but only time will tell. It feels a little disjointed and characters die off way too fast. T'Kuvma didn't feel like he was around long enough to gain the kind of clout that would elevate his death to martyrdom. We're repeatedly told he's the second coming of Kahless, but we are not shown it. For Georgiou's death to feel as tragic as we're told it is, she would have needed to be captain for at least as Lorca has been. So much telling, so little showing. Showing takes time. It means letting the story breathe. And this is paced just slightly under how literally cartoonishly frenetic LD is!

Not sure it's a criticism or just a fact: I can't tell if the writers meant for Disco to be arc-driven like DS9 or if they intend loosely connected episodes organised around the theme of Burnham's experiences in the Klingon war. If there's a main plot, at 9 hours in, I have no inkling of what it might be.

It's odd for a Star Trek to follow one character (Burnham). Haven't seen that before so I have no opinion except that I like it when writers try new things. Even if it ends up not working as well as the usual jumping around the crew, it's nice that they're at least trying something novel.

E9 pretty well confirmed my suspicions that Lorca is mirror verse. So, "damn it four times around the carpark and back in again for another dammit," he'll be dead or gone in a hot minute. Unfortunately I don't think he's defecting. I was hoping maybe they'd go that route because it would be complicated in a lot of ways and also interesting bc so far I don't think we've seen anyone from mirror just up and say, "fuck this place it sucks I'm outty 5k." I have this vague memory of a TOS novel where (I think) mirror Kirk defects to the universe we usually see. And why not? Why is everyone in mirror-verse sexed-up devils when everyone on the Federation side aren't chaste angels? I hope Disco does something more interesting with mirror verse than "the government is full of fascist terrorists" because, I mean, [gestures broadly at everything], we've got that well covered on this side and in the real world.

Bummed now about this. I never totally trusted Tyler. "No one survives 7 months of Klingon toture." I wondered if maybe he was a mirror cross-over too, but now I think he might be eat up with Stockholm syndrome or have some brain implant or something to make him loyal to L'Rell.

I still love Seaweed and Toadstool and I'm really happy they both got some time in these two episodes. Even if mirror verse is handled terribly, I'm kind of glad they're there for a while because it means Stamets can't just go to pasture or whatever they were threatening to do with him.

[gwaean]

The Rescuers  

Part One: “Old acquaintances meet again"

 Summary: You are a mandalorian rebel friends with Captain Rex so you are well aware of the entire "clone situation" going on. And of course you want to help as much as you can. You then go to Ryloth trying to help the Syndulla's and maybe find your old friend Cody. 

 Pairing: None. Yet. But will be a Crosshair x Reader.

 Gender: There'll be no mentions of gender or pronouns on this part yet. Though further in the story it might have she/they pronouns used.

 Word count: 1.6k

 Tags: Injury recover, post-clone wars story, rescuing clones/friends, a bit of melancholy?

 Warning: Brief description of injury.

 Notes: So, I literally dreamed most parts of this story (I know, crazy Star Wars obsession here). I filled up some parts as I was writing of course. And it turned out a bit like a beautiful sad tragic. I might even do a playlist for this fanfic actually. Hope u enjoy it :) 

 The war, the republic, the jedi all have ended. Literally on the same day. And what it seemed like a fresh start, finally a moment of peace in the chaos turned into nightmares. You weren’t there when it happened, you just heard the news of Obi-Wan saying the jedi order and the republic had fallen and you also heard the now Emperor Palpatine telling everyone that the clone wars has ended and the jedi were traitor, they’ve tried to assassinate him according to well… himself. And now he’s forming this new galactic empire, giving people numbers like the ones clones used to have and killing off any resistance against this new order. Everyone seemed to believe him, you gotta give him that he was a pretty damn’ good  liar indeed. But you knew better than that. You are mandalorian after all and were friends with no one less than Duchess Satine and Senator Padmé. You helped them countless times in their diplomatics and you even fought with the jedi and the clones at times. They were good people, yes, the order might have messed up at lot but traitors? Murders? They sure didn’t deserve to die like that and I guess… No one does.

  You quickly then joined the rebellion. There you found many of former politics like Senator Organa and even a clone… Captain Rex (or is it Commander now?). You’ve met him once before and he seemed like a good person and looks like he’s really a great man just like you thought. You soon became friends. But sadly, the other clones you knew before like Cody were still with the empire. Though both you and Rex were very determinate to help others like him. And also, obviously, protect your allies against the empire.

  Well, as expected trouble begins. There’s been rumors about what’s going in Ryloth with the Syndulla’s and the empire occupation. Worried about them and their people, you go there to help as you can. And if there’s need, you’d call more rebels to help too though you didn’t want to envolve more people yet because you’re afraid of the reaction it could cause ( and what that would cost for ryloth and its people). You also have a tiny tiny hope that maybe just maybe Cody could be there.

  Arriving in Ryloth, you discover the Syndulla family have indeed oppose agains the empire occupation and they’ve went into a lot of trouble because of that but apparently a group of mercenaries (?) have already rescued them from the prison they were sent to. One less problem for you to fix I guess. You were glad for them but you still want to spy a little on the empire and see what you could find out after all, the trip couldn’t be for nothing.

  You find your way and get to a particular high hill with a great view of one imperial base. You pick up your binoculars and the only person you see in a sort of balcony is a very depressive-looking Crosshair. You remember him from that one time clone force 99 saved your butt from the mess you’ve yourself in. He was… quite unfriendly, let’s say. But he did get the job done and made sure you were okay so you just ignored his behavior. Looking at him now it was looking at a shadow of him. 

   It made you remember what Rex told you once: 

“We clones were all created with this chip thing in our my minds. We were made for the war and the war only but apparently someone thought it would be great if they let us think we've got free will. That we could be anything we wanted to be after the war. So we made friends, some of us found a family with our jedi. They let we hope. Just so we have all of that taken away from us with order 66. The war had ended for everyone except for us. We had our will taken from us, our minds controlled by this chip and we had to follow orders. While we're still there conscious of what we were doing we had to kill the people we fought together the entire war. I remember her face... I'm so glad she didn't see my face. I couldn't bare.” 

 Thinking about what all the clones been through, you can’t just leave him like this. He did save you once and this was your chance to repay that. Rex keeps saying we can’t save everyone (more to himself than to you) but one person is better than nobody, right?  At the time you improvise a plan: neither the empire nor Cross can’t know yet that you’re a rebel. You haven’t done anything yet incriminating (at least not that they were aware of). So you can just jump in there where he was standing and talk to him. Worst case scenario he ignores you. However you sure knew how to annoy him enough that at least he would call you out and when that happens you act. Ok, that you still have to figure out exactly how you would act. Well, half of a plan is better than no plan.

  You just jump in behind his back and of course he points his gun at you as expected. But he apparently recognizes who it’s standing in front of him and put his riffle down. 

   “ Hello there.”  You say.

   “What do you think you’re doing?”  He replies.

   “Oh, please, don’t act like you aren’t happy to see me.” 

     He gives you a faint of a smile. “Don’t flatter yourself.” 

     You smiled back. “But seriously, what you’re doing here all alone? And why- You finally noticed the burn mark on his now bald head. - are you like this? Doesn’t the empire takes care of its soldiers? Nor your squad? The bad batch, right? That’s what you called yourselves?” 

     His face closes again. “You have nothing to do with that. I’m-” 

     “By yourself?” You pause for a moment. “Alright, I get it. You’ve probably been through a lot. We all have. Not sure why you’re like this but it doesn’t matter right now. I just wonder… Don’t you want to get out of all of this?” 

     Cross pauses for a moment. It seems like he's considering the possibility. “I… I can’t.” 

     “But…”  You then think. You remind yourself of how protective he was that one time you were saved by them. Maybe this instinct was still there, you had to try. You saw a pointed rock close to where you were standing and decided that you would accidentally cut yourself. “Ouch!” 

    “What’s up?” 

    “Oh! Nothing! Just might have cut myself here.” You show your hand now with a bit bigger than you expected cut and some blood.

     He almost laughs at it. “What a little clumsy one you are, eh?” 

     His mocking at you, that’s something, right? “Yeah, I guess….” 

     “Well, let’s go?”  He points to the door.

     “Go where?” 

     “Don’t you wanna take care of that, sweetheart?” 

     “Right, medical bay then?” 

     “Obviously.”  Perfect. He would be right where you needed him to be.

  The both of you enter the facility and walk directly to the medical bay. The empire base is pretty much a bland dark and boring military base with some troopers walking around, some commanders (you think) yelling at the soldiers and some droids doing whatever they have to do. You knew only that they were “r - unities” but droids weren’t exactly your area of expertise. However you do notice that the troopers walking around still wear the same clone armor from back the war. And you feel guilty. Because as much as you’d like you won’t be able to help them all. They’ll stay there with their chips on being controlled by the empire…. By the force, that was a hole guilty trip you knew you shouldn’t take. It wasn’t your fault. No, no. They did this. Palpatine and his men were the monsters. Not you. And certainly not these poor clones. One day, yes, one day maybe you could come back and save them?

 “Hmmm…. You wanna me to do this?”  Cross says. You were so distracted in your thoughts you don’t even realized you were already in the medical bay.

 “Oh. You don’t have to.” 

 “It's fine. I’m used to do this anyway.” 

  “Ok. Be my guest then?” 

  “Wow, you’re so funny.” He jokes.

  “Whatever. Just do your thing.” 

  “Give me your hand.”  

 You give him your hand and he takes it. And to your surprise he’s very gentle while taking care of your wound. He applies some alcohol pads to clean the wound. And as he presses the wound to stop the bleeding you reach for your gun and keep looking at his face. His very concentrated. It’s almost like the rest of the galaxy doesn’t matter. He’s only there at the moment focused on helping you. And you’re trying to plan how you’re gonna knock him out to take his chip off.

 “Now I’m gonna get some stuff to make a bandage for ya, ok?” He says and turns his back. Now is you chance. You turn your blaster to stun only and shoots. He falls. 

 “I’m sorry. But there’s no other way.” You whisper as if he’s actually listening. 

 It takes some effort (seriously, Crosshair's heavier than he looks) but you manage to put him on one these surgical stretchers. You also have to learn super quick how to use the pad control to see where the chip’s in and take it off. But it’s done. And you wait and wait… For what it seemed like hours though it was only like 15 minutes.

And he wakes up very confused.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Two great episodes came out today!

"Spider Sprig" is a fun episode with great comedy and action and a perfect lesson about a hero's job is to help people. Not look cool while fighting a supervillain. It was a blast to watch and shows why Big City Greens is such a hit with kids.

Then there's "Olivia and Yunan," which has some well-made intense drama balanced with well-timed jokes, some gorgeous visuals, and an ending that all but made my heart stop. It was incredible, proving why a schmuck like me loves a series like The Owl House.

...What's that? These are episodes of Amphibia? Huh...then why does it feel like the writers shmushed an episode of of Big City Greens with an episode of The Owl House? Because an episode where a naïve boy tries to be a hero to appeal to his own ego? I can see that in Big City Greens. And episode where two (maybe) gay women try to work together in an intense situation only for their adventure to end tragically and hint at a larger story? That's The Owl House's bread and butter for most of Season Two, right there.

And before I get people hounding on me again, I want to reiterate that I DO love these episodes for the exact reasons I wrote above. I wasn't being sarcastic. Those are my actual praises for those episodes.

My problems are the fact that they don't go together.

"Spider Sprig" is cute and fun, but it doesn't fit with the darkness that came in "Olivia and Yunan."

"Well, it's just the show trying to balance fun with drama!"

Valid, but "Olivia and Yunan" already did that. It told a dramatic story, but still kept jokes that didn't make things feel too grim. Having a goofy story where there are no stakes get followed up with one with ALL OF THE STAKES creates tonal whiplash that makes a series feels like it's trying to be both a slice of life comedy series as well as an adventure comedy series.

"But that's just the show's identity."

Well, then it's not a good identity.

Look, I like Big City Greens and I ADORE The Owl House. But I also adore them separately. They're two different shows with their own types of tone, stakes, and comedy. A series like Big City Greens can get away with a joke about how a safety patrol man got hit by a bus and somehow survived, but The Owl House can't. And The Owl House can have huge stakes that the characters might not survive in, but Big City Greens can't. Sometimes either show can dabble in either's identity, but those are also from their weakest episodes as it feels like each series is betraying themselves.

So combining them isn't going to work for everyone, even if it does work for some. It's sort of like--How do I explain this...

*Snaps fingers* Got it.

It's sort of like pineapples on pizza. Big City Greens is sweet, The Owl House is savory, and if you try to combine them, it's not going to go well for everyone. It'll have it's defenders, sure, but those same defenders forget one thing: People have different tastes.

I love tuna fish, but goodness knows that my mom can't stand the stuff. And that's fine. I don't hound her for it, I just accept it.

And note how I never did that for anyone else. I may have issues with the show, but I'll never criticize anyone for loving it. If anything, I'm glad someone could find enjoyment in something I couldn't.

"Then why don't you stop watching!"

Mother f**ker, I am nearly two and half seasons into this and episodes like "Olivia and Yunan" make me want to see what happens next! DON'T TELL ME TO STOP WHEN I CLEARLY DON'T WANT TO!

So, yeah. Two great episodes. They just don't fit.

[seancamerons]

Brucas, Ryan/Marissa & Drianca

brucas is one of those ships that represent all the relationships you put you're entire heart into and it just simply doesn't work out and it's nobody's fault (even if you want to find someone else to blame or something else to put blame upon) but still just as heartbreaking. especially when both hearts hurt but for different reasons. the writers built up brucas to be something so special and all but they ruined it and bailed on it. i personally prefer leyton for storytelling purposes however i don't hate brucas but i do think it was necessary and something important to watch. but i think they did a little too good for a job for it not to end up the end.

all the while, not everything lasts forever. it wasn't a negative thing or a footnote or whatever but it was a real relationship between people who were honestly into each other but one was more into and invested in the the other when it all came down to it. i think they put so much effort in and it's almost heartbreaking that it didn't finish triumphant. sophia deserves an oscar when she poured her heart out to him btw that scene is heartbreaking in the show goes on. that was my first time seeing oth and she blew me away and rewatching has only solidified that brooke is an awesome character and lucas was lucky to have had her as a girlfriend and as someone she loved. she really did love him.

ryan and marissa again, people who go through so much heartache, trauma bonding and of course love but prove time and again to be soulmates if they had known each other in another life or another time in another place. marissa and ryan were destined to be together but for whatever reason they didn't end up together and we lost marissa and she lost her entire life and i find them incredibly tragic. their love was like electric and they were always coming together. they prove no matter how much you love someone, not everyone stays together. some people suggest tis better to love and lose than to never love at all. they weren't perfect people, he was always saving her life and she was always falling into dangers from her achilles heel of being much too trusting, and poor judge of character and for once there was nothing anyone could've done (aside from volchok to slow the f down) to make it any different. it took me time to accept it but for what they were i loved them together and was heartbroken about marissa's demise.

drianca, i really loved drianca and still like them it was a good time loving their relationship and the show's writing at the time was really good namely in 11 and 12, they're my favorite ship of the era (also zaya), what i liked about them is that while their beginning sucked in a boiler room kind of way and what i like is that it became more later. their relationship was really likable in the middle and had a crushing sad ending. alicia and luke had incredible chemistry which i think made it all the more greater to watch them. one of my favorite moments they shared was in dead and gone, at the hospital she and drew share that look, i don't know how to explain. ugh their ending was sort of heartbreaking but i will love them till the world explodes.

even now i imagine they found their way back to one another. i really liked how she and audra bonded and even her dynamic with adam toward the middle of the road after season 10. i know bianca wasn't perfect, sure she did bad things, and likely did some growing up sure drew made mistakes and was a little bit of a jerk in the beginning there but they were incredible in my opinion.

i'm lowkey glad they didn't get married in las vegas because at the end of the day i don't think they were ready emotionally but i imagine by 2022 their time they likely got it right finally. maybe not married but together perhaps? oh well, there's always fanfic. right?

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[burningarchitecture]

Hey mortals and fools, Time for the death note meet-up!

(I'm pretty sure this photo isn't enough to know my face for writing the death note, AND it expresses my personality pretty well so I figured it would be PERFECT. )

Anyways, I'm Sofia, Ukrainian, lesbian and 14 years old.( I know this is actually pretty young for this fandom but I'm glad to be here anyways. )

My interests include

art(duh..),

reading/imagining fanfics instead of sleep,

musicals (although I suck at singing),

Ukrainian politics and history (I have a tragic backstory ™ about having to move because of the war with Russia and my old house being destroyed, but I was to young to be strongly affected),

higher-then-school-level math for contests (although I've kinda lost motivation for it this last year),

Philosophy (this is recent so I'm not too educated in it yet),

And Fandoms, where I spend most of my energy these days.

The story of me getting into death note is actually kinda funny. I often put off recommendations in fear of getting obsessed with them and I wasn't actually going to watch dn for about a year because it was an anime, and I didn't wanna get into anime in the near future. I literally spoiled the timeline to myself because of Film Theory's "how many people died" video.

However in the start of last winter I *tried* to come out to my parents and it ended badly. They told me not to watch shows with gay rep ( they thought I was like this because of 'gay propaganda'). I needed a new hyperfixation they wouldn't bash me for and I conveniently had a death note based dream after a few days. But it was still an anime so I was hesitant.

Then, my girlfriend at the time (who my parents didn't know about) asked me to watch the first season of Tokyo Ghoul with her. I couldn't say no. And then I realised I have already watched an anime, so on the first(second, technically) of January (when I had to wake up early for a trip) I bingewatched like 8 episodes instead of sleep. My phone was lagging though, and I have vivid flashbacks of my anger at Naomi's death scene not loading. In the next two days I finished the show watching it in every possible minute while being on the trip. Then I got absolutely obsessed.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 🥱🥱 Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Piss off Janis: it's the crack of dawn Janis: bet the boy ain't even woke up yet to 👀 the decs Jimmy: it's a lie in for me Janis: before you handicapped me, I was getting up pretty early too 🐕🏃 Jimmy: @ Helena and her 💊s Jimmy: that there's the handicap Janis: her back ain't that bad Janis: anyway 💊s aren't gonna make me jolly Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: what do you need, baby? Janis: 😏 Janis: Is that any way for an elf to talk? Jimmy: depends what you 🖋 in your letter to 🎅 Jimmy: might be dead on Janis: You reckon that's top of my list? Jimmy: know what you're like with 👴💕 Janis: 🥇 or nowt Janis: makes Lucas look 🥉 for sure Jimmy: writing lines in detention ain't gonna come close Janis: Only just started this holiday Janis: you need cheering up too 🌧 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: ☀️ Janis: not much chance of that today ☃️ Jimmy: you not coming then? Janis: You really are on form this AM Janis: very quotable Jimmy: won't be long til 💀👑's getting out her 🛁 of 🩸 for a new day of torture Jimmy: have to sleep when we're ⚰ Janis: grind never sleeps 💪 Janis: so glad she only has 😍 for one 👴 though Jimmy: they've had years to perfect that roleplay Jimmy: must be 🥇 Janis: 🤢🤢 nah Janis: not gonna be able to face breakfast now Janis: 💔 that's why she can't either, awh Jimmy: stop finding common ground, it's 💔 me Janis: Baby Janis: sure if you asked really nicely, they'd let you work a double shift Jimmy: funny Janis: You walked right into that one Jimmy: there'd be nowt 💔😭🎻 for me about walking our kid to you and pissing off to work if you want some alone time with your real boyfriend 🎅 Janis: yeah right Janis: be all good until he starts 💔😭🎻 and I'd have to come find you Jimmy: I get it, you're off the 🎪🤹🤡 clock Janis: just don't reckon I know enough sign language to win him over Jimmy: reckon you could leave it to 🎅 Jimmy: seems like he'd be a traditional kind of #lad, chuffed for you to be 🤐 and just bake the mince pies Janis: 🤤 what can't he do Jimmy: probably wouldn't have got 💀👑's cooking down him any easier than we did Janis: I didn't mind the excuse to go to the bathroom Jimmy: SUCH a 💊head, you Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't judge me, babes Jimmy: just her decor Jimmy: best that bathroom's ever gonna have looked with your giant head blocking out them ugly tiles Janis: should've dashed yours into 'em Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: gutted we didn't get to sleepover Janis: would've had plenty of time to redecorate 🩸 Jimmy: hang on, I'll set one up Jimmy: liven up the group chat Janis: 😂 Janis: you are SUCH a peacekeeper it's SOOOOOOOOOOO cute I can't 😻 Janis: run out of sleeps before 🎅 pays 'em all a visit Jimmy: 💰 on Asia getting into a #scandal thinking if she rubs the coal he gave her on her face she'll have a charcoal face mask ready to go Janis: Can't wait to #cancel her for good Jimmy: just better not have the sleepover here, that kind of casual racism could have her in the running for my new step ma Janis: imagine the unfortunate children Janis: massive heads and bigger teeth Janis: christ Jimmy: don't Jimmy: I'm basically illiterate, they'd be thick as shit Janis: the work would truly NEVER end Janis: you leave her in charge of 'em... 🍄💉🧱🧨🪓🔥 Jimmy: however many 👶 they churned out, she's one more on top of Janis: can't let that happen to you Jimmy: but near worth it for the #goals 👰🤵 pics obvs Janis: you wouldn't even be the cutest page boy Janis: tragic 💔 Jimmy: long as you keep faking your 😍 mate, don't matter Janis: I think I'll manage Janis: 🏆 at stake Jimmy: gotta take at least one job seriously, I'm doing your other Janis: 1. stop any time and let me 2. and your sister when you can't be arsed Jimmy: my sister when I've gotta be audience to your gingerbread masterpiece, more like Jimmy: can't have you going without 👏 Janis: don't throw down the gauntlet if you don't want me to show you how it's done Jimmy: when a lass begs me for a challenge, she gets one Jimmy: just that dickhead Janis: If I was gonna beg, you'd know about it Jimmy: you did and I did Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I've got a kid to shake away Jimmy: *awake Janis: yeah piss off and be useful Janis: 👋 in a few Jimmy: you got that hint then? Know what your room reading skills are like Janis: 'course you do Janis: got to have something to aspire to Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt don't mean cracking on with the second bit, case you need that spelling out an' all Janis: you're the one that's thick Janis: in your own words, spellchecked, I assume Jimmy: and I've still got better social skills, Julie 💔 for you Janis: if I got paid by the hour, I might bother as well 😘 Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: never left a tip in my jar, you Janis: you mean the one time I came in? Jimmy: you'd have preferred some festive bollocks off the menu, yeah? Jimmy: I'll sort that for next time 🤶 Janis: maybe I preferred another barista boy, and I know how tip jars work, make you share it out all equally 👎 Jimmy: alright but do you know how pockets work? I've got a few of them to slip 💰 in Jimmy: you can have that tip to slide into your new boyfriend's DMs with 😘 Janis: you aren't strippers Janis: if you want to go the hooter route, you're gonna need to make those aprons shorter Jimmy: there's a few 👴👵 who ain't had that memo Jimmy: I'll @ my manager with your 🥇💡 though, see if he'll get it done for this afternoon shift Janis: you're welcome Janis: you'll be cold but swimming in 💰 so who cares Jimmy: northerns don't feel the cold, bit like strippers Jimmy: *northerners Janis: you didn't totally wimp out on the school trip Janis: or the park Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: Ian'll be dead proud Janis: yeah Janis: shame about the complexion Janis: leave it out and you can brag and bond Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: heartwarming Jimmy: hang on, this'll have you 💀💀💀 inside again Jimmy: [Bobby's reaction vid to these decs] Janis: Awh Janis: bless him Jimmy: we did alright Janis: you happy too? Janis: no video needed Jimmy: [a pic like 😁👍] Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: 👌 honey Janis: does look good Jimmy: he's doing a letter to say tah to Santa, might need you to spellcheck it for us Janis: He's well cute Janis: doubt I'll get mine to do it but her penmanship is shite so he'll look 🥇 in comparison Jimmy: wait til he 👀s mine Jimmy: I'll have to tell him it ain't just a squiggle but actually says tah for the missus and that, mate Janis: 🎅💔 Jimmy: *🎅🥊 Janis: 😂 Janis: long as the kids are distracted by the shit gifts they'll get Jimmy: do you want your shit 🎨🎁 now or in a bit? Janis: give it to me when they get theirs or I'll 🥺 Janis: love ruining christmas, me Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: 🥇🎄 work Janis: don't forget the gingerbread house Janis: as I crave that 👏 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a tinfoil 🏆 to go with your 👑 Janis: what you gonna cover your no carb low fat tofurkey with?!!!!? 😱😱😱 Jimmy: you're more important, girl Janis: taste better, is the honest truth Janis: don't need to be a 🧛 to know Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I'll stick that in the group chat Janis: you can say it but they're not gonna find out for themselves Jimmy: as constructive criticism goes it ain't bad but no need to take it as an instruction, lasses Janis: 🤢🤢 Janis: stop making me feel ill Janis: I've got to go break the ✨ surprise and get all the 🏆👑 Jimmy: piss off then Janis: TTFN Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [actually skip forward now] Janis: where do you wanna meet? we're ready Jimmy: We'll walk over, get the intros out the way before 🎅 can stick his oar in Janis: 👍 Janis: she's pretty good at pronunciation for a kid but you might have to step in if she gets too chatty Jimmy: keep her on the nice list, I get it Janis: Don't worry, she's not a dick like my sister or anything Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: you wouldn't have invited her if she were owt like Gracie Janis: Good Janis: we'll be outside ☃️☃️ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not got any 🚬🕶 going so can't make it in your likeness this time soz Jimmy: long as you get the 👂 and eyebrows sorted you can still tag me Janis: 🪒 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: you deserve a treat too, like Jimmy: I'm just pleased to see you, soz Jimmy: 🚫🔪🔨🔧🪓 Janis: don't worry, santa is coming through for me later Janis: 🤞 for ☣️ Janis: 🥴🤤🤮💀👻 Jimmy: 💰 on your man having a flask of socially acceptable poison Janis: yeah, give him the rosy red cheeks that complete the lewk Janis: nose that looks like a 🍓 Jimmy: that there's the only treat I need 🤤 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [show up so these bubs can meet and start a lifelong friendship] Janis: [Libi just like bonjour, what are you going to ask Santa for, I'm gonna ask for this and this] Jimmy: [we know Bobby wants art supplies and a camera and we know why lol cue an eye roll from Jimothy as if he isn't buzzing to be loved] Janis: [no pretending that's not adorable, like, just like WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR CRAYON] Jimmy: [okay but imagine him taking a crayon from behind his ear where jimothy keeps 🚬] Janis: [imagine, Janis just 😏 above their heads like not encouraging bad habits or nothing] Jimmy: [jimmy just looking to see if it's black like his soul or blood red and tutting when it obvs isn't either of those] Janis: [shakes head like what have you been teaching him tbh, Libi saying hers is that bluey silver colour like her mum's hair and we oop] Jimmy: [Bobby just like I don't have a mum anymore cos kids don't give a fuck and Jimmy just like so glad I get to sign this] Janis: [just literally like gurl same! 'cos neither of you can tell a child to shut the fuck up lmao 'my mummy and daddy are dead, what happened to your mum?'] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'she went away' because we truly know not] Janis: [just like fantastic, so glad we came, bet he's thrilled he invited us now, 'cos we're not even looking, just walking in total silence, meanwhile Libi like oh okay 'If she comes back, I can see her' and then moving on chatting about our dog and what we're getting her for Christmas] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'my dad's about but you wouldn't want to meet him' and doing an impression of Ian's angry face and then telling her all about Twix because dogs 5ever, making Jimothy give him his phone to show Libi pics of this pup] Janis: ['my granddad could fight him' when you're like Libi shh that's not nice but at least that is amusing as a prospect, also clearly doing a phone swap 'cos you'd have that Killer queen content on yours, Libi being like 'Janis knows loads about dogs and has taught her loads of tricks because she used to be a naughty girl and wee everywhere and eat everyone's shoes' and loling] Jimmy: [Bobby just dangerously close to outting Jimmy's secrets by telling her that he fights Ian sometimes so casual so nbd and then telling her about how Cass did that dog walk the other day and going on and on about how naughty Twix is and all the things she's done] Janis: [JJ y'all gotta pick them up and run so you can shove breakfast in their gobs like nooooooooo 'you're so lucky you've got a brother AND a sister, even though your brother's old too' looking at Jimmy and shaking her head in disdain because that's the age of her aunties and stuff and kids have no concept of age they treat you like you're ancient but at least that's a joke we've had so Janis managing to look at Jimmy like lol, she knows your secret] Jimmy: [the most half hearted 😏 but we're a bit more amused when Bobby starts dragging Cass by doing an impression of how angry she is and stomping about etc as if she's worse than Ian] Janis: [she's cackling in that way babby's do 'you're funny, you're my new friend'] Jimmy: [Bobby is buzzing and we're using Jimothy's phone to have a selfie sesh but also take artsy pics of our new bff as we go along] Janis: [run along you innocent children, like you've not just revealed so much, god bless] Jimmy: [JJ just awkwardly af walking in silence now thanks kids] Janis: [going to apologize like several times but you can't even, where would you begin lmao, pretend it's chill] Jimmy: [chuck some snow at her or like shake a tree branch full of it onto her or something, any distraction will do] Janis: [fall into the safety of that] Jimmy: [if nothing else he's good at that when things are awkward] Janis: [likewise, when we sit down for this breakfast, you can do all the posting thus far] Jimmy: [cheers to the fans for that distraction, meanwhile Jimmy and Bobby can teach Libi some easy signing since we're BFFs and gonna be seeing more of you undoubtedly baby hen] Janis: [lucky for you gal, perks of being but a child, she'd love that 'cos mini nerd and she'll be able to pick it up as most nurseries now do makaton so it's a way into learning it] Jimmy: [at least the bubs are having a lovely time until Santa breaks Bobby's heart by not knowing any] Janis: [truly, a day of drama and stress when you're just trying to do something nice, if that don't sum up xmas] Jimmy: [the tea honey, at least that'll be easy to smooth over like the people I work with are dickheads as well boy, that ain't the real Santa's fault] Janis: [it happens a lot 'cos the shopping centre ones freak kids out rightly so, Libi just blowing raspberries at him like understand this loser 'cos we're a baby bad bitch] Jimmy: [I stan Libi and the way she'll protect him and make him less shy, cos you know we're doing it too after she has and didn't get shouted at lol] Janis: [you've got your prezzies kids, fuck him up, just tugging on Jimmy's sleeve and loudly being like 'What's sign for poopoo head?' 'cos the age hen] Jimmy: [obvs we're showing her and we're not sorry, Jimothy is a bad bitch too okay] Janis: [we're just calling everyone a poopoo head all day now, which I imagine is quite visually obvious because the swears etc usually are] Jimmy: [that has cheered everyone greatly thanks Libi] Janis: [you are a funny egg, at least, hence we can't be mad at you/ignore you because what is that achieving, 'tis not your fault Edie is dead luv] Jimmy: [and Edie wouldn't want that like you can be anti Ruster having her because she wouldn't want that obvs] Janis: [make that the hill and we lowkey ignore everyone else rn, at least in comparison to how everything was before, so it's fine lol, think we are gonna get y'all presents that don't suck and I think you should get pups and name them] Jimmy: [keeping them forever, you cannot destroy them Twix or Killer thank you] Janis: [keep 'em safe, lads, I think you should call yours Star, 'cos huskies are that silvery grey colour too and the names work well together because obviously your dogs are BFFs too] Jimmy: [aw Snow & Star 4ever] Janis: [making Janis make the dogs do little tricks for y'all and then cackling again when she makes 'em poo on Libi's head] Jimmy: [love this so much, also can't forget Jimmy giving Janis the 🎨 which can be when the bubs have their real 🎁 cos fuck you Santa] Janis: [we know she genuinely appreciates them honey, we're always excited to see what he's done] Jimmy: [god knows because he blatantly did it last night after she left/early this morning even before this convo started because never sleep well so] Janis: [you know Libi is gonna be all over that hun like SHOW ME and then being like draw me draw me to Jimmy and Bobby] Jimmy: [they shall honey because we love an art sesh] Janis: [the confidence of a child, just posing here with the dogs] Jimmy: [never change gal never lose it] Janis: [we're clearly making Janis too, then shouting out increasingly complicated things, like, make the dogs pull us on a sleigh, make us flying, like gal, your dreams lol] Jimmy: [Jimothy will never back down from a challenge, he's got you bub] Janis: [don't stress out poor Bobby though, at least you not a rude ass bitch so you wouldn't shade his attempt] Jimmy: [it'd be a cute attempt, BFF status cemented] Janis: [can put up these pics for extra cuteness, hoes will DIE] Jimmy: [I wish we actually had some but alas] Janis: [never be as good as our imagination anyway] Jimmy: [true, is there anything else we wanna have them do before he has to go back to work?] Jimmy: [could go to the park maybe because it's right by his house and thus mcvickers] Janis: [that's a good way to end this day for you kiddos, could also get the dogs which would make them lowkey hysterical with happiness so pop off] Jimmy: [love that cos we know Cass has probably walked the other dogs while they've been out for that cash so no time to take Twix] Janis: [live ya life, get ya things, but now you gotta go to work and we gotta] Janis: Thanks for today, reckon they both enjoyed themselves 👍✔ Jimmy: you're alright, were going any road and I reckon he had a better time with her about Janis: they were cute Janis: and she lives at my nan and granddads so if he wants to hang more, easy done Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: Yeah Janis: well she doesn't always talk about her dead mum and dad so it shouldn't be a big thing Janis: sorry Jimmy: it weren't a big thing to him Jimmy: nowt for you to be sorry for Janis: It weirds plenty of kids out Janis: I could've warned you, I guess Jimmy: loads of kids reckon he's weird Jimmy: Asia's sister included Janis: some front when you look like your ma fucked a cheese grater Jimmy: her dad weren't at the nativity, might be 'cause he were stuck in a drawer, yeah Janis: dunno if she's got one any more Janis: 💀👑 flex Jimmy: what, like she fucked and ate him? Janis: 🐰🥕 Jimmy: #fated Janis: 💔 they didn't think so Jimmy: 💔 I can't change the station to Classic FM for them 🎻s Janis: Perils of 🎅🎄🎁☃️ Jimmy: ❌🎅 that shithead's 💀💀💀 to us Janis: yeah Janis: and his tunes are shit Jimmy: don't even care how fit that 🍓 were looking Jimmy: SO over him and his 👃 babes Janis: better off without him Janis: you can do SO much better Jimmy: 🖋 us a joke about him being a ho ho HOE Janis: I'll hit up the group chat Janis: their level of humour Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: and one of them has always just been dumped so they'll comiserate with you Jimmy: tah huns Janis: nothing if not the BEST friends to have Jimmy: DUH! Only time I'll accept 🥈 Janis: charming that is 😏 Jimmy: I get it 🎅 were a right let down, you need some 💕 Janis: just a bit rude that you're so gracious with them Jimmy: Baby Janis: Such a pisstake Jimmy: their BFF status, yeah Janis: you Jimmy: why me? Janis: you just are Jimmy: you can take it Janis: true Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I said it Janis: we're alright, yeah? Janis: I don't think shit needs to be weird just 'cos 2 kids have got no filter Jimmy: don't it feel like we're alright to you? Janis: it was a bit awkward Janis: but I'm over it if you are Jimmy: nowt to be over from where I'm serving overpriced ☕ Jimmy: just the unpaid translator earlier, me, none of my business what they were going on about Jimmy: if you wanna tell me something, up to you, that Janis: alright Janis: works for me Jimmy: she's world class at signing, won't need me after a bit, any road Janis: bit of a third-wheel Janis: cramp his style with your 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: but alright 🖍 are cooler than 🚬 give him that Janis: gonna usurp you in every way, for sure Jimmy: go on then, what's your fave colour 🖍 ? Janis: the important questions Janis: don't know why it's taken you so long Jimmy: tell me Jimmy: edge of the seat I ain't allowed to put my arse near til my next break Janis: 🎻😞 Janis: goldenrod or inchworm obvs Jimmy: gonna do your next 🎨 in them so 🤞 you took it serious Janis: it's 💛💚 so I'm gonna look like a keylime pie Jimmy: never said I were drawing you, bighead Janis: you will be though Jimmy: not gonna now for the sake of Janis: 1. I know you're tired, grumpy 2. How will they know it's goals??? Jimmy: 1. Bollocks 2. everything I touch turns to #goals, nowt I could do wrong Janis: 1. s'fair, you've been an unpaid translator, an artiste, santa and now barista boy who can't sit down 2. alright, if you want to add Midas to the CV but might be a bit much Jimmy: now I've got your permission I'll draw some eyes on 😎 and grab a quick kip 👍 tah for that, Jillian Jimmy: ❌ that off the CV though, noted Janis: it's fair but life and working a minimum wage job for your living ain't Janis: keep 💭 though and I'll let you focus on it and the overpriced ☕ Jimmy: where's your focus going? Janis: need to get another minimum wage job I can do sitting down so you don't take it over/ban me Jimmy: you were hopping round less today, that just for the kid's benefit or were you 💭 about keeping me out of pocket with a full recovery, like? Janis: 💭 about keeping you out the loop and pretending it's permanent Janis: have you munchausened me or am I munchausening you Janis: real question #2 Jimmy: well done on telling me that plan then Janis: Yeah, you know Janis: when you've pissed off who's gonna carry me about Jimmy: 🎅 Jimmy: you're heavy but not sack of 🎁 heavy Janis: true Janis: he's 💪 Janis: oh well, problem sorted then 👋 Jimmy: Lucas is a poor man's version an' all he'd be alright for a few lifts Jimmy: I'll race back for the funeral, obvs Janis: don't Janis: he actually offered me a lift once after a match and it was very awkward Janis: definitely not meant to do that, but he's a maverick, you know Jimmy: did you offer to take a lit match to his car or what? Janis: I'm not as witty as Libi Janis: but I did get detention for a week, which is funny as, like what you saying for? 'cos I didn't wanna get sexually assaulted and dumped in a ditch? Janis: 💩💩🧠 Jimmy: Stockholm syndrome only works for dickheads like me on dickheads like you 💔 for him Janis: 'scuse me? Jimmy: can't ⛓ you to a desk nowhere but in his dreams Jimmy: could've childlocked you into his motor but his lack of 🥇🗨 pissed on that Janis: If there was anything in his plan for me, might've worked Janis: but I'm not arsed about straight As Janis: 🤞 he tried Mia next Jimmy: she does look like she just crawled out a ditch Jimmy: dunno if we can score him any credit for that though Janis: just the #aesthetic babes Janis: try and look a bit buzzing when they come in, 'cos they will Janis: no need to 💔 them about 🎅 when you can act like it was the best time ever Jimmy: 😒 just my face, nowt personal, Mia Janis: NOT pleased to see her 🔧🔨🧨🪓🔪 Jimmy: I'll fake it if she fakes not being a Scrooge Janis: no need to go that far Jimmy: if you can't be a slag for tips at christmas, when can you, eh? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: Oi, dead serious question, that Janis: I don't do your schedule Janis: though maybe I'll pop a CV in Janis: better or worse than step-mum nightmares? 🤔 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: you gonna leave the ☕🎨 to me or are we making 🎄🍆 happen? Janis: 1. the #goals answer is the cup ain't big enough to do it justice, alright 2. if you were as good a teacher as Lucas, I might be better but most importantly 3. gonna be your manager, I'll never be there let alone ever make ☕s Jimmy: got it all figured out, you Jimmy: be piss easy for you to answer my next dead serious question Janis: yeah, aside for my total lack of experience for the role, well in Janis: so go on Jimmy: I were just thinking are we too 👰💍🤵? 👵💕👴 ain't #goals unless we're chatting my personal Janis: too domestic, you mean? Jimmy: we've done 👶🐕 if there ain't a christmas eve eve party I'll lose the 🤏 of faith I had in paddy teen humanity Janis: there's always parties Janis: it probably is time to hit another one up Jimmy: nowt to do with Ian clocking off for 🎄 and TOTALLY to do with me being chuffed to bits to give the fans what they're after Janis: 🙌 Janis: worth celebrating, I get it Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: as much as it pains me, I can't say I can't make it Janis: so sure, put in an appearance Jimmy: I get it 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: 🦶🎻🎻 Janis: at least I have an excuse Jimmy: me an' all, it's being a white northern lad Janis: 😂 Janis: I meant an excuse not to be ground on by randomers but yeah Jimmy: still works Janis: 💔💔 Jimmy: don't worry, I'll do my 😭 for pity tips, nowt you need to see Janis: if you're going that kind of party Janis: don't need to invite me Jimmy: I'll tell Doris to chuck her cardi on 💕 she'll love a bit of that Janis: unsurprised Janis: dirty bitch Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: green is right Janis: ha Janis: obviously Jimmy: whatever party we're going to, I will need a slaggy 🤶 ootd Janis: Penneys will have one you can pick up Jimmy: owt you want? Janis: not a fake beard Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: already got one of them in me Janis: fuck off Jimmy: in a bit then, Ellen Janis: you aren't funny Jimmy: still working on the 🤹 me Jimmy: ☕☕☕☕☕ Janis: keep at it Jimmy: they're here, should I invite 'em to this party or what? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want an actual night off or do you wanna have to do #goals shit Jimmy: you heard, can do goals shit without trying Jimmy: do you want a night off? Janis: I asked you first Jimmy: so answer me first Janis: 🙄 Janis: I've had enough time off Janis: my ankle is better Jimmy: alright Janis: so answer Jimmy: I did Janis: Bitch, where Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: I can do it Janis: no need to tax yourself Jimmy: piss off Janis: I'll go home and decorate mine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't invite them and you can actually have a decent time Jimmy: where? it's still a shit party full of dickheads Janis: it's your night off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you can't think of a single fun thing to do? Jimmy: if I ain't on your clock I'm on another Jimmy: 👶🐕 Janis: you said your dad was off Janis: is that not the entire point Jimmy: the entire point were I don't wanna be there, not that I don't have to be Jimmy: nowt #goals about pissing about for the sake of Jimmy: if you don't need me to be 🏆 they do Janis: if you don't wanna be there, then don't Janis: it doesn't make any odds if we're being #goals or not Janis: like your dad is really invested Jimmy: nowt I do is for that prick's benefit, didn't reckon that needed spelling out an' all Janis: that's my point Janis: do it for yourself Janis: don't need to pretend you're doing me a massive favour to warrant it Jimmy: what's it doing for me if I ain't? Janis: I don't know Janis: some peace and quiet Janis: time to fucking breathe Jimmy: you heard me, where? Jimmy: tisn't the season, mate Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I never said I had all the answers for you Jimmy: don't have a go at me just 'cause I ain't chuffed at the prospect of becoming a ⛄ walking the streets of this shithole taking deep breaths or some bollocks Janis: you stop having a go at me first and we'll be quits Janis: sorry I don't have any top ideas of what you can do Janis: if I did we wouldn't need to bother with this bullshit Jimmy: 👍 Janis: whatever Jimmy: tah for that Janis: just piss off and do some work Jimmy: going against your night off stance but alright Jimmy: not the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: whatever you're gonna do, you're still on the 🕡 right now Jimmy: weren't reckoning I had this apron on 'cause it makes me look even more fit and mysterious Jimmy: just a bonus, that Janis: funny Jimmy: come to the party with me, dickhead Janis: you're so frustrating Jimmy: how else you gonna prove to me your ankle is better and get your 🐕🏃💰 back? Jimmy: come on Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I thought you wanted to go alone Jimmy: what for? Janis: be off my 🕡 Jimmy: this is the easiest job I've got Jimmy: and before you start, NOT saying you are Janis: I'm not starting nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when you act like it's all my idea, or I wanna do it Janis: it's mutually beneficial, that's the point Janis: and the rest of them are the ones 👀 & 💬 Janis: not me Jimmy: it were my idea, I ain't forgotten that or why it's a 🥇 Jimmy: I'm a mardy prick, can't fake that I ain't all the time Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: don't need to Jimmy: but we both need Ian's stash more than him Janis: not gonna argue with that Jimmy: mutually beneficial, I heard you Janis: he can enjoy some sober family fun Janis: I'm not going to enjoy any party if I'm not at least a bit buzzed Jimmy: you can be pissed as 💀#2 were by round 2 of that game if you want, used to carrying you by now Janis: considering how much we've eat today Janis: literally impossible Jimmy: 💔 I can't accept that challenge 'cause I ain't no lightweight Jimmy: feels wrong turning one down Janis: what else is a party for Janis: be loads of others to 🥇 Jimmy: quick, give me one I can do now before I vanish 👻👋 Janis: 🤔🤔 hmm Janis: I don't know much about this ☕😍 life Janis: but how many non-dairy orders can you 🐄 up before any of 'em notice and complain Janis: trusting you not to bullshit, dickhead Jimmy: I swear on our kid's fake ��� Janis: hope the real one ain't savaged poor snow Janis: will be all your fault, obvs Jimmy: sounds like her, that Jimmy: and me getting the blame'd be about right an' all Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: you better mean me Janis: 'course I mean you Jimmy: know what you're like 🐕💕 Janis: didn't even buy myself one, firstly Janis: and secondly, you know you're 🥇 don't be jealous Jimmy: I'd have nicked you one but 👀 and 👂 already got our sticking a 🖍 behind his Jimmy: no need to turn 'em into baby Bonnie and Clyde Janis: thank god he's cute Janis: or it'd be baby borstal Janis: use the disability card and there's nothing he can't do 😎🖍 Jimmy: and then it'd be baby 👻 'cause he'd never hack that Janis: 🥺 Janis: got that from you and all Jimmy: how much bollocks were yours 🗨? Janis: I know you're gutted she got your number Janis: 👴 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: is there owt you can do for our real 🐕 or what? Janis: Oh Janis: well, yeah Janis: that's the side hussle 'cos the rich cunts who cba to walk their own dogs also cba to train 'em, oddly enough Jimmy: it's too 💰💰💰 for us poor lads then Janis: not necessarily Janis: need the funds myself so we can do 💰 and a favour Jimmy: if you're 💭 mates rates he weren't 🗨 bollocks about how 😈🐕 it is Janis: it can't be worse than that thing was Janis: Killer ain't a funny nickname 'cos it was so 😇 Jimmy: might have to be a big favour, all I'm saying Janis: if you can't afford it Jimmy: made 2 🐄☕ with no 🤬 or 💩 already, be alright Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: you don't want to hear what favour I might want? Janis: brave Janis: but a deal Jimmy: I ain't scared of giving you owt you might want, Jules Janis: Good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be a really boring party otherwise Jimmy: can't have that Janis: would be gutted Janis: and I do owe you for all the kid time today Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: you'll get no 💔 off me Janis: not what I want Janis: but I did miss being alone with you Janis: I know she's a lot Jimmy: she's alright Janis: she's just a kid Janis: she don't know no better Jimmy: 🥈 to 😎🖍 obvs but I rate her as kids go Janis: duh, that 💕🥇 is mutual Jimmy: he's got no mates here yet, it were a 🏆 day for him Janis: I'm glad Janis: she liked him too Janis: wouldn't shut up Jimmy: he's probs still going on to my sister an' all Janis: gonna owe her something now Janis: probably a bit better than a cuddly 🐕 Jimmy: she's done alright out of the 🐕🏃💰 she'll live Janis: she don't need to re-cripple me for the gig Janis: plenty of 🐕🏃💰 to go 'round, don't need to be 14 for that Jimmy: she'll be 💔 you don't wanna 🥊 but yeah Jimmy: she can't be arsed to do ours but I don't blame her when it's Ian's 💰 Janis: I don't make it a habit 👶🍭 Jimmy: brb gotta @ her that fighting 🗨 Janis: such a shit-stirrer Janis: it's alright, not tryna be your new step-mum, don't need to parent-trap me Jimmy: it's called making coffee when it's my 9-5, babe Janis: 😂 get him some chalk he's had an 💭💡 Jimmy: can do my 🐄☕ tally an' all Janis: make your least fave colleague clean the bogs today Jimmy: whoever the lad is you said you liked ✔ Janis: 😨 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: trying to turn everyone against me, I 👀 Janis: only going to have to make it up to him, think on Jimmy: not if I do first 😘 Janis: 🐍 Jimmy: bit of editing that's a 🍆📏 compliment Janis: UGH Janis: bastard Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you always go on about just the tip so Janis: can't confirm nor deny ladies 💁🙊 Jimmy: one way to get me to do nudes Janis: Eurgh, don't Janis: I'll hype you up in the tweets, fine Jimmy: go on then Janis: alright Janis: [least subtle posts ever 'cos a challenge] Jimmy: [cue a flirting via socials sesh because love that for you two always] Janis: [always a mood] Janis: so goals Jimmy: Where do you reckon 💀👑 is on the scale? Janis: 😠 Janis: but if she does come to this party Janis: 🤬 potential Jimmy: but you ain't factored in she can see my 😍 IRL Jimmy: have another go Janis: 😡 Janis: so festive of her Janis: #2 bringing the 🤢 Jimmy: proud of you Janis: Babe 😊😌 Janis: are they all there? Jimmy: yeah Janis: wow ✨ miracles never cease 🙄 Jimmy: 👀 🛍 about to go ask if there's owt for us Janis: real 🎅 right there Jimmy: gonna pretend I can't understand her answer Jimmy: if that other dickhead can get away with it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Where's Libi when I need her? Janis: she could rinse them Jimmy: I'd dip into the tip jar to see it Janis: too bad she's probably having her tea right now Janis: downsides of being 4 Jimmy: can't promise her owt better off this menu Janis: sounds like too much excitement for one day Janis: my nan'll be fuming Jimmy: I'll be round to make it up to her in a bit 🦷🌹🦷 Janis: no tah, Romeo Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you wanted an outfit, I'm out 👀 🛍 Jimmy: watch your 🦶 in the stampede Janis: it's mental Janis: 🥊 for the bargains Jimmy: do you a 🥊 alongside my 🐄☕ Jimmy: high scores over here Janis: you're on Jimmy: 🖋👂 til my next break Janis: cute Jimmy: Bill's 👻 on at me to write you a sonnet Janis: how many did he crack out? Janis: so many hoes Jimmy: I'd ask but he's flirting now Jimmy: never takes a break, him Janis: Oh Bill Janis: the slutty friend in this sitcom Jimmy: *romcom Janis: so soz Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can't believe how cliche this shit is and we're still getting new fans Jimmy: just that good Janis: thanks, I am Jimmy: said it before Jimmy: as a muse, you're 🥇 Janis: you're not so bad yourself Jimmy: I'll aim my 😳 at their table, tah for the MASSIVE compliment Janis: I could do better but Jimmy: ? Janis: maybe it'll make me 😳 Jimmy: you're in hell, there's your excuse Jimmy: *🥵 Janis: I already know what we're gonna do at this party and honestly, I would've come even if you didn't want me to Janis: 'til you you did Jimmy: will you come here? Janis: yes Jimmy: 🚫🏃 Janis: okay Janis: but now, yeah? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: One I want you to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Jimmy: 'course now Janis: 👍 Janis: hold on Jimmy: I don't care if they're still here, that's not why Janis: No? Jimmy: I'll still want you here when they've pissed off Janis: I know Janis: I wanna be there Janis: you know, with you Jimmy: I know it gets a bit Jimmy: what I mean and don't Jimmy: what's for them and what's for you Janis: headfuck Janis: but we both knew that Jimmy: yeah Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't reckon you could Janis: not a total bastard Jimmy: just 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: obvs, your type is 🎅 Janis: 💩heads? Janis: maybe Jimmy: works for me Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [have an epic makeout sesh in front of all these shoppers going past and the gals inside 👀🍿 through the huge windows] Janis: [you've earnt it] Jimmy: [and Mia always deserves to be fuming] Janis: [very true honey, we know you and Pablo is all but over now] Jimmy: [he won't have bought you any goals gifts, what are you gonna do buy them yourself and imply they are from him? awkward] Janis: [didn't come to your friendmas even though you told him to, he's not serving his purpose hen] Jimmy: [notp in every sense] Janis: [we been knew, bye gals, we aren't remotely thinking about you rn] Jimmy: [lowkey never are, you're a flimsy excuse at most huns] Janis: [one we don't need currently] Jimmy: [are you coming in when his break is over or are you off again gal?] Janis: [we're coming in 'cos he asked you to stay] Jimmy: [we'll make you food you actually wanna eat, it's been ages since breakfast] Janis: [just try and find somewhere to perch and chill] Jimmy: [we'll do you the favour of saying Mia made the gals storm past you mid makeout or whatever so you don't have to sit with them] Janis: [lmao imagine, bring your festive spirit down more than the kids chatting up a storm earlier lmao] Jimmy: [that's the last thing we need, he'd get in trouble by letting you sit in the staff area before he made you share their table lol] Janis: [should do that, you know his managers long gone for xmas lol] Jimmy: [honestly go ahead gal we haven't done any of the getting in trouble stuff yet so his record is spotless rn] Janis: [us 😈 lmao] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 👍 Janis: like what you've done with the place Jimmy: it were a bit more 🎄 but some dickhead nicked loads of it Janis: shocking Janis: some people have no shame Jimmy: if you reckon that's bad, you'll never get your head round how some people spend their 🚬 breaks, Judith Jimmy: enough to make you 😳 Janis: The people with holes and ink all over their body have bad habits? 😱 Janis: will not hear of it Jimmy: SO pure 😇 Janis: you had a costume change of 💘? Jimmy: that one's gotta be yours, Tiny Tim, for seeing the good in everyone's 💘 Janis: cheers for not calling me a 🐷 anymore, I guess Jimmy: you're welcome 🐸 Janis: 😏 Janis: don't fancy eating flies though Jimmy: Dunno if I could keep faking 😍 for you and your new diet Janis: it is a big ask Janis: wonder if I can convince the gals it's the new thing though Jimmy: nowt more #goals than a lad who'll pick flies out of his 🦷🦷 for you Jimmy: they'll FINALLY know their 💕 is real Janis: Beautiful, truly Jimmy: I'll pass it on to Bill's 👻 Janis: bit rude that he's not solely focused on our story Jimmy: *I'll 👻🥊 Janis: hot Jimmy: that's the ☕ I'm 🤹 Janis: I couldn't actually work here Jimmy: I couldn't actually have you work here Janis: fight for the tips too real Janis: I get it Jimmy: that'll do for why Janis: go on Jimmy: what? Janis: give me the bulletpoints Jimmy: you're alright 🤓 Janis: tah, babe Jimmy: and I'm alright for not 🖋 you a naughty list Jimmy: which you know were what I meant Janis: you're 🤹 Janis: I know Janis: can't blame me for trying Jimmy: you heard me #notallsantas Jimmy: don't wanna watch you sleep either, tah Janis: I appreciate you saying that Janis: don't sound at all like you're gonna Jimmy: 👀 Janis: thank god the sleepover didn't happen Janis: you and 💀👑 meet over my corpse Jimmy: I'll sort a new one since you're 💔 Janis: with who? Jimmy: I'm just the 💪🏆 Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: 🎅👴😎☕ Janis: party Jimmy: and what, we all chuck our 🔑s in a bowl? Jimmy: or just pass you around Janis: UM Janis: how dare you, we do face masks and watch movies Jimmy: 🥱😴 Janis: 😱😱 BABES Janis: 😭 Jimmy: SOZ Janis: you are SO uninvited from the gangbang now Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: it's me who's a 🍆 down Janis: you're so selfish Jimmy: if you've still got that 🪒 it's easily sorted Janis: bit rapey Janis: 😎☕ is basically an open invitation in this place Jimmy: no need to just castrate me with your 🗨 Jimmy: there's my consent Janis: you aren't bleeding out yet Janis: sorry Jimmy: I'll stop it with the steam wand Janis: ooh Janis: resourceful Jimmy: Oi, don't sound so surprised, dickhead Janis: I didn't expect you to have really considered castration that much, tbh Janis: but yes 💪🧠 Jimmy: never gonna unlock all my kinks with that attitude Janis: 😂 Janis: you're keeping the list 🔒 Jimmy: when you're ready for it, I'll give you the bulletpoints Janis: How am I not ready for it? Jimmy: you're here for a start Jimmy: what are we gonna do get a wet floor sign out and stick a 🧹 through the door handle? Janis: are we going to do that? Jimmy: that on your list? Janis: Well, it is now Jimmy: good, 'cause we ain't gonna have time to do more than the one ✔ before Doris is kicking off for her ☕ or invite Janis: She can wait Janis: I don't want to share you right now Jimmy: [showing up for 😈 antics because his manager ain't here and we don't care what our co-workers think] Janis: [live your best lives guys there is no reason not to] Jimmy: [Pete if you're here ILY and you would do the exact same with your gf so but fuck the rest of y'all truly] Janis: [maybe not exactly the same if you're a little less extra but yes, we aren't interested] Jimmy: [you're a bit older and chiller but you know] Janis: [soz you aren't living a romcom lmao god bless] Jimmy: [JJ out here doing the most and living their dreams from day 1] Janis: [we just skirting around our trauma and trying to live and be young and I love that for you] Jimmy: [literally imagine just having to go back to work like 👋 in a bit as if that didn't just happen I always die thinking about stuff like this] Janis: [lol your life, hence I think you should go back out shopping for a bit girl 'til he's ready to leave] Jimmy: [thank god you're both shameless because even though nobody would've heard anything with the christmas tunes and how busy it is, everyone totally knows] Janis: [y'all aren't subtle, enjoy the #bants and/or disgust from your coworkers Jimothy soz] Jimmy: [making friends everywhere he goes, you're welcome for the fact you're gonna get sacked from here because you're not leaving Dublin in a hot sec like you think you are] Janis: [you're all teens/young adults, y'all be getting messy in all the ways, don't judge lol] Jimmy: [mhmm and we know the kinda hipster peeps who be working there ain't it so shhh] Janis: that girl with the pink hair and neck tat gave me the biggest evils Jimmy: it's just her face Jimmy: 😒 part of our uniform Jimmy: and her hair's rose gold, very festive of her, get it right Janis: roots down to her eyebrows and all Janis: tell your girlfriend she's safe it's #fake Jimmy: oh Ashleeeee Jimmy: I'll tell her to get down the salon Janis: or stick a santa hat on Janis: problem solved if she covers her face with it too Jimmy: she'd probably make a better ☕ blind an' all Janis: you're 🥇 are you? Jimmy: you're asking questions you know the answer to again Janis: I don't drink it, I can't comment Jimmy: it weren't a #humblebrag she's a 🎄 temp, can't do fuck all but 😒 and gone before her roots'll reach her chin Janis: makes sense Janis: least you can blame the 🐄☕ on her Jimmy: except 💀👑 and co's, reckon they'll know that were me, if they ever know Janis: none of them are asking for no 🐄 'cos it makes them shit their brains out Janis: but that extra 1/8 lbs will give it away 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: if it made 'em 💩 they'd ask for it, hoard the laxatives for another day, I get it Janis: True Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: soz if you find any 💩 in the changing rooms though, mate Jimmy: 🐄☕ well into double figures Janis: that's just any other day for Penney's Janis: but I'll sign your name if you like Jimmy: Tah Janis: gold sharpie Janis: make it festive Jimmy: just like that, going from muse to artist, you Janis: A ⭐ is born Janis: don't ruin it for me when I get my grammy and you're an alcoholic Jimmy: nowt fake about their 💕 Jimmy: if you don't go that hard for me when my missus, Ashlee is front row, you ain't having that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: only to catch her 😒 on camera Jimmy: bollocks, in it for the 👏👏🌹👏 you Janis: you're just in it to be serenaded so don't @ me mate Jimmy: not denying it Janis: 😍 x1000 Jimmy: owt to give me a break from these fucking 🎄🎵 Janis: reckon the staff here have gone full zombie Janis: 💀 in the 👀 and 🧠 Jimmy: bit rude of you not to leave me for 💀💀💀 back there Jimmy: could be us rotting but you're playing 💔 Janis: Rosie was gonna passive-aggressively ask me to buy something or leave if I didn't Jimmy: taking orders from her'll do nowt for them gay rumours Jimmy: need a #LAD to tell you what to do, duh Jimmy: I'll give you a shout when I find one Janis: Shut up, s'why I left before she could say fuck all Janis: and how are there gonna be any gay rumours when the reason she's pissed off is 'cos she's jealous Jimmy: depends who she's jealous of Janis: if she's gay that's her problem Janis: but she's jealous of me, FYI Janis: take the compliment Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: you're the 👏👏🌹👏 chaser Janis: 1. rude 2. bollocks Jimmy: 1. ain't much of a compliment if she fancies me 2. I'll have you know my head's genetically this big Janis: you know what you look like and you're well 😏 about it Janis: not saying you're wrong Jimmy: I know what she looks like an' all Janis: not like she's the only one 😍 is it Jimmy: my inbox is as full as yours Janis: yeah Jimmy: so you've got nowt to be jealous of Janis: I'm not jealous Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'm just saying she is Janis: fuck sake big head, don't get it twisted Jimmy: don't get a mard on Janis: I'm not, idiot Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Are you? Jimmy: ? Janis: in a mood? Jimmy: why would I be? Janis: I don't know Janis: why would I be, like Jimmy: 😒 ain't in your job description Janis: I'm not Janis: I only left so you could actually get some work done Janis: that's all Jimmy: alright Janis: don't actually care what your coworkers reckon but you do have to work with them Janis: least for a while longer Jimmy: I'll live Janis: it's about making shit easier Janis: not harder, yeah Jimmy: you did Jimmy: not saying I'm 😁👍 or nowt but Janis: not even a little? Janis: shit review, that Jimmy: you can have one of the dead eyed ones 😀 or 😃 Janis: I'd rather 😒 Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie like there you go ILY] Janis: tah Jimmy: I rate you, you know I do Janis: shh Jimmy: not gonna sing it but Janis: if we've got to be a romcom Janis: not being one with a musical number Jimmy: won't argue 🤐 Jimmy: #notallnortherners 🎭🩰🎤 Janis: you're warning me how embarrassing you're gonna be at this party Janis: I get it Jimmy: can't say you ain't been now Jimmy: #notalldaddys an' all Jimmy: dickhead dad if I'm owt Janis: however goals that may be Janis: I'd sooner grate my face off Jimmy: you always know EXACTLY what to say Jimmy: really fulfil my nursing kink, that will Janis: how great would you look if you stayed with me Janis: my only positive, gone Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: be even more mysterious to make up for losing how fit you are Janis: 😶😶😶 Janis: what is she thinking Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯 Janis: do you if you like Janis: #muteandcute Jimmy: the couple who self harms together are obvs gonna stay together Janis: 💀💀 means forever 😃😃 Jimmy: long as it don't backfire when everyone reckons I've been cracking onto Asia's dad 💋 Janis: reunite 'em for the holidays Janis: ✨💕 Jimmy: you're really earning that 😇 costume for tonight Janis: you'll still steal the show, babe Jimmy: you ARE the show, babe 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: Ashleeeeeee's got nowt on 💀👑 Jimmy: or my long lens Janis: 😂 Janis: dope Jimmy: promise not to do you like princess di, know you'd hate everyone going on about you for that long Janis: what good is 👏👏🌹👏 if I can't 👂 Janis: obvs Jimmy: 👻 perks Jimmy: get to be a right nosy dickhead forever Janis: suits you Janis: no 🧛 perks except the taste Jimmy: 🦷🦷 suit you Jimmy: what about 💪🏆🏃🥇? Janis: that's just me Jimmy: SUCH an athlete Jimmy: I've heard Janis: I'll show you if you ever stop fussing and nursing Jimmy: BUT 🥺 Janis: I know Janis: but I need a redemption arc Jimmy: nowt wrong with 😈 Janis: falling on my arse though Janis: 👎 Jimmy: 👍 for me Jimmy: but I get it, you wanna impress me Janis: if I wanted to impress you, I just would Janis: it's easy Jimmy: 🗨 is Janis: you'll 👀 Jimmy: *📷 Janis: if you can catch me Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 💪 Jimmy: tah very much, compliment accepted an' all Janis: when you out? Jimmy: [a time which I hope isn't forever away because work sucks enough without your co-workers gossiping about your love life] Janis: 👍 Janis: might compliment you then Jimmy: you find a party? Janis: [a selection of, 'cos these teens are extra] Jimmy: we gonna #bless the one or do a tour? Janis: a tour is actually a good idea Janis: fuck it up Janis: go before it's really shit Jimmy: there you go again sounding 😱😱 that I've had a 🥇💡 Janis: like I'm meant to reckon every 💭 you have is golden Jimmy: glad we're on the same 📖 FINALLY Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm on a whole new book, babes Jimmy: alright, give us a chance Jimmy: basically illiterate Janis: awh Janis: keep practising on those coffee cups hun Jimmy: good job I nicked our kid's 🖍 Janis: long as it weren't a swap Jimmy: @ nspcc Janis: you're alright Janis: this country is infamous for not giving a shit about kids Jimmy: that'll be why Ian brought us here Janis: if he tries to give you to some nuns, run Jimmy: into their arms #kinkunlocked Janis: sure that's another costume Janis: want an outfit change? Jimmy: not very festive though, is it? Jimmy: if I were the baby Jesus, that's one thing, but his groupies Janis: well you can't go as baby Jesus Janis: that's obscene Janis: and where am I getting a loincloth as this hour, thank you Jimmy: such a letdown, you Jimmy: seen you piss about and craft a 🐑 for fuck's sake, it's ALMOST like you DON'T WANT to make this happen for me Janis: it's almost like you're a complete exhibitionist Jimmy: Lucas would support me, knew I should've picked him Janis: no one's stopping you Jimmy: UGH and now you're not even gonna fight for me 😭😭 Janis: you'll come crawling back when he's trying to pick up more 12 year olds again Jimmy: less of a rom com more of a crimewatch reconstruction Janis: you, the clueless wife who had NO idea Janis: sure, Sharon Janis: turning a blind eye so you didn't have to fuck him Jimmy: chuffed he's pissing off out so I can watch telly without his loud breathing doing my head in Janis: You're an Emmerdale fan, definitely Janis: neighbours and home and away in the afternoons Jimmy: Doctors is my top pic though obvs Janis: your only friends are the characters in your stories Janis: sad, honestly Jimmy: Oi don't forget the 🐩 I'm starting to look like Jimmy: it hates me, obvs, so I get why you didn't 💭 Janis: it doesn't want you to baby it but it's all you wanted it for Jimmy: he won't put a 👶 in me and that's 💔 but OMG it's just like one of my fave plots #conflicted Janis: Sharon, you're barren Janis: you need to come to terms with it Jimmy: DUN DUN DUN Jimmy: but it's me doing my own piss poor drum roll Janis: 😂 meanwhile, casual serial killer b plot with your mans Jimmy: Sharon, you're having a mental breakdown Jimmy: this is a REAL doctor's office Janis: not you trying to seduce your fave doctor and it's actually your GP and he's gonna call the psych ward Jimmy: 🚨🚨🚨 Jimmy: your man is gonna pin his crimes on you, hun Janis: omg Janis: when the truth outs, you're gonna be fully gone Janis: maybe in a cheeky coma Jimmy: bit of amnesia so I reckon I did do it an' all Janis: oh god Janis: so like a woman Janis: just lethal inject me 'cos I'm a monster who can't even have kids Jimmy: Oh Sharon Janis: Lucas will keep getting away with it for 4 more seasons Janis: then your ghost will pop up and it'll all get sorted in an ep Jimmy: I'll work with the 👻s of his victims, grab a spin off out of it Janis: full circle, you watching your show from your armchair in your dark, depressing lounge Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: welcome for the A on your next art project Jimmy: IOU Janis: not bothered about credit Jimmy: alright, what do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: go on Janis: I need to think of an idea right now? Jimmy: 🚫⏲ Jimmy: just no need to hold back if you've already got one Janis: I'll take my time Janis: no point saying something now, thinking of something I want more later Jimmy: won't have you 🖋🩸 it's alright Jimmy: if you change your mind, just tell me that Janis: you're bad at business Jimmy: that'll be why I ain't the manager Janis: 💔 babe Janis: the free time you'd have 🤯🤯 Jimmy: could train my own 🐕 Janis: hey now Janis: that's my 💰 Jimmy: real 💔 Janis: in it for the 👏👏🌹👏💰💰 Jimmy: I got that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hush Janis: got outfits to buy and christmas tunes to hear for the 42nd time today Jimmy: I won't serenade you then Janis: if you can get a christmas 🥇 then I will 👰💍🤵 for the royalties Jimmy: alright, piss off I need to crack on with that and you've got a 👰💍🤵 to plan Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [party time] Jimmy: [obvs we just want them to have a nice time but have you got anything specific in mind?] Janis: [hmm, obvs the main party is tomorrow, so we can be more chill, but we can also make drama if we want 'cos yolo] Jimmy: [I was thinking at one of the parties they hit they should see Mia cheating again cos Pablo is on the outs and also she just would anyway] Jimmy: [but that could be today or tomorrow like] Janis: [we should do today 'cos you ain't the focus tomorrow remotely hun, and it's just fun] Jimmy: [agreed, the focus tomorrow is being festive af as always, as much fluff as I can clutch with my grabby hands] Janis: [so if anything, get drama that isn't them, aka flat whites etc out tonight] Jimmy: [love it because Mia would think she was being so sneaky but we see you hen] Janis: [merry christmas beech] Jimmy: [gather that blackmail lads, you'll want it when she gets him sacked by being a Karen] Janis: [yep thanks for not before xmas at least] Jimmy: [I'm sure she's wishing she could rn] Janis: [too bad you walked out in disgust lmao it got so much worse] Jimmy: [sucks to suck gals] Janis: [what drama can we do with y'all hmm] Jimmy: [unrelated but can we say they're drunk in love enough that he stays at mcvickers because Ian sucks and we don't need that in our lives] Janis: [yes, just know the Libi is gonna come in in the AM to wake you up and out you lol] Jimmy: [ngl LOVE that even if you two won't] Janis: [in my mind if she ain't snuck in Janis' bed before she's even home, she comes in well early as kids do so LOL] Jimmy: [he's used to that with Bobby cos that boy is always sleeping with him we know] Janis: [and I alluded to it in a previous convo so go us, anyway, yes, that can totally happen, it wouldn't be far if he had to run so makes sense] Jimmy: [it's beyond obvious that you both never wanna leave each other so] Janis: [let's not lie to ourselves lads except lowkey we do lol] Jimmy: [tbf this is the first time you've had a chance to get drunk together since fake dating started cos we didn't have enough booze on the school trip and unlike the flatwhites you aren't lightweights who got drunk during that friendmas game sesh] Janis: [hohohohohoh the potential] Jimmy: [evil laugh x 3 because Winnie is too] Janis: [let's hit up this first shit party, idk if she genuinely got you a costume to put on or what, Imma say yeah but idk if I have anything particularly festive for you so I'll have to look] Jimmy: [I hope she did, what's more festive than crossdressing] Janis: [get it boy, you'll look hot and no one can deny] Jimmy: [she should be an angel like in Hazel's book even if we can't document the lewk] Janis: [I'm sure I'll be able to find that content somehow] Jimmy: [I'm not even gonna try because I know I won't, Ezra Miller and Harry Styles can only do so much and I don't think they've been festive lol] Janis: [yeah, I'm trying to think of like a movie or something where it was a thing hmm] Janis: [oh, the try guys do it, maybe eugene?] Jimmy: [body shots have to happen at one of these shit parties because #mood] Janis: [very easily done with your lewks lol] Jimmy: [that's what I was thinking, just think of all the love bites there would actually be too though what a statement] Janis: [turns up to your function in no clothes, excuse me, y'all are already on one today, there will be no chill we know it] Jimmy: [tipsy before we get there as well tah Ian] Janis: [thank you for nothing but that dickhead] Jimmy: [and actually being there for once so he can stay at mcvickers and be a carefree teen] Janis: [I mean yes but you are those kids dad not jimothy so I will not applaud you] Jimmy: [doing the least and we hate you so much] Janis: [I think Mia should be at the first party and we can catch her whilst we're still a bit sober lol] Jimmy: [yeah definitely one of the earlier ones, it makes sense for that reason and because the parties would obvs start out more basic and get wilder as the night goes on cos most people aren't throwing a rager on christmas eve eve] Janis: [yeah, and if she's at some party that's trying to be sophisticated and lowkey and then they show up 1. LOL 2. she would be caught unawares] Jimmy: [ooh what if she's just gone out with Ella and not the others so it's double tea because that's not in the friendmas spirit] Janis: [I really imagined a date and I was like lovely haha, but totally a vibe, pretending they're busy if the other gals are at another party or whatever] Jimmy: [I might fuck around and give Jimothy an injury of some sort for christmas cos tis the season and Ian is 100% that bitch] Janis: [yeah, he is, a vibe, but not, so rude] Jimmy: [it's gonna have to be christmas eve or day cos they are going to Skerries for boxing day so note to self] Janis: [what if what if that's why she goes to see him xmas day, ultimate rudeness Ian] Jimmy: [yeah because we did say they must] Janis: [dunno where you're huffing off to ian but uninterested, we must] Jimmy: [and then it makes even more sense why they go to Skerries/don't try very hard to come back when they get snowed in, not desperate to spend time with you sir ] Janis: [it all makes sense, also remember the ice bath we can make you a snow pack] Jimmy: [so yeah after whatever they're doing christmas eve, remind me he's gotta go home alone so that can kick off] Jimmy: [also if people have been stupid enough to leave presents under their trees they should steal some] Janis: [noteddd, that's so grinchy and why you don't have xmas parties but with friends people, you deserve it lol, also if we wanna do some messaging, they could lose Mia and have to split up to find her rn, could be amusing] Jimmy: [not all the gifts thank you lads but at least one from every party that it's an option as a memento, ooh good idea boo] Janis: report back, scooby Janis: I'm in the bogs, no sign 😱 Jimmy: leave your 🐕 fetish out of it and concentrate Jimmy: she ain't outside ⛄ Janis: alright, you wanna be daphne Janis: full bimbo now Jimmy: piss off do I wanna be a ginger Jimmy: have a word with yourself Janis: omg VELMA 🤓 Jimmy: how am I not Fred dressed like this? Janis: he was so fashionable Janis: I wanna be Fred though so fuck you Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: I know you're 🤓 and I'm him but crack on lying to yourself Janis: that's rude Janis: don't make me your #2 Jimmy: if the glasses fit, girl Janis: 😡 Janis: i'm going kitchen Janis: it's a long shot but i'm getting drink for me and none for you Jimmy: smash some glasses and plates, you'll calm down Jimmy: or you know, make me a 🥪 Janis: knuckle sandwich Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: so distracting Jimmy: you Janis: nah Janis: we're on a mission focus your 😍😍 Jimmy: [sending her pics of #bants things like I've found her, oh no wait] Janis: [have a lil game, nerds] Jimmy: [obvs you're gonna have to find her eventually I doubt there's that many places she could be so be silly while you can] Janis: Jim I've found her Janis: omg Janis: come here Jimmy: [does even though he's expecting a pisstake] Janis: [hopefully this house isn't that big because you did not tell him anything there lmao, also be quiet or she'll see and you'll ruin it] Jimmy: [she said she was heading to the kitchen so likewise and we'll cross paths lol] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: [you're so conspicuous rn god bless, but keep an eye on her best you can until you can get dirt] Janis: be 😎 nerd Jimmy: keep your head down 🦒 Janis: i'd say make me but you'll just be 😍😍 Jimmy: [a LOOK that's meant to be pisstakey like what am I like but it's just shamelessly a LOOK lol] Janis: [you know when bitches always kiss in movies when they need to hide, doing that, as if there is a need okay] Jimmy: [love that for you] Janis: [oh the tropes, at least you won't seem arsed by Mia remotely so she'll let her guard down lol] Jimmy: [we're just a lad getting covered in silver, you can relax Mia] Jimmy: [will style that into a 🎅 beard because he's an art hoe] Janis: [what a lewk you two can share] Jimmy: [doing a semi decent job of lip reading Mia even though he's not deaf and whispering to her what he's worked out, doesn't technically need to whisper but the excuse is we're being inconspicuous] Janis: [doing the most to pretend he's being scandalous in ya ear but we listening for real obvs and making our 😳🤤 responses make sense 'do you think there's a free room going?' like do you reckon we'll catch her at it, again] Jimmy: [telling her about all the places he found that you could fuck when he was searching for her, which is lowkey suggestive af boy especially because Mia isn't as shameless as you pair and wouldn't hook up in some of these places] Janis: [telling him which you wanna do first but it's actually where you reckon she might if she's gonna] Jimmy: [agreeing because you agree that it's likely and you're on the same page here] Janis: 🕡 Jimmy: *⏲ Janis: same diff Janis: can't lose 👀 on her Janis: what do we do to kill time without being too distracted Jimmy: 🍻? Janis: [goes to get drink like okay] Jimmy: [is 👀ing you Mia] Janis: gonna suggest this to the gals next time I see em Jimmy: they already follow her about Janis: clealy ain't as good at it as us Janis: but no Janis: the face paint Janis: if you kissed anyone else i'd know instantly Jimmy: bit rude to call me a slag for how I'm dressed but Janis: is it though Jimmy: I just happen to be a slag, alright? Jimmy: nowt to do with any of this Jimmy: [gestures to the lewk] Janis: [looks at him for ages like we forgot what we're doing] Janis: alright Jimmy: are you? Jimmy: [😏 af] Janis: [🖕 which can at least look bantsy to the fans] Jimmy: [a lol soz if that's not inconspicuous hun but the bae is funny] Janis: [bring him a drink back, after taking a massive swig from his like ha ha] Jimmy: [taking pics of her because an angel being 😈] Jimmy: [likewise have forgotten what we're supposed to be doing here for a sec] Janis: [casual photoshoot, be a shame to waste your outfits] Jimmy: [Mia's got no game lbr, you've got time] Janis: [god knows the state of this lad by the time she's ready lol] Jimmy: [another good reason it's an earlier party don't be having a Buster and Chloe rapey situation Mia] Janis: [at least you truly would be as gone, that's the vibe not that] Jimmy: [if your father could see you now hun] Janis: [#disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [I wish they could call him like come get your daughter but we need this hook up to happen first] Janis: [they should genuinely then bounce though lmao she would actually be so fuming] Jimmy: [don't do it yourself though Jimothy the accent is a dead giveaway, get the bae on it] Janis: [seriously, do some voice work hen, at least a party helps that he'll barely be able to hear, use the house phone] Jimmy: [merry christmas bitch, enjoy the trouble you'll be in] Janis: [hohaha, ANYWAYS, we know you can't stop looking at him gal, how you manage this at all is lowkey impressive lol] Jimmy: [when you get to the second party/on the way there haha you can be as extra as you want, that mission is done and dusted] Janis: [we're so buzzing with ourselves at the prospect of ruining her xmas, practically skip there lmao] Jimmy: [don't you twist you ankle boy as hilarious as that would be] Janis: [we can't have more injuries, and you'd make a right mess of yourself if you fell, it's freezing and you've got no clothes on lol] Jimmy: [yeah that's not festive or goals so be careful please] Janis: [what do we wanna do at this next party then] Jimmy: [just have a nice time tbh lads] Janis: [just partay] Jimmy: [do them body shots and other drinking games cos we're having a messy one and we're competitive af] Janis: [get crunkalunk honey, we can skip to when he's left in the AM now if we wanna] Janis: [after Libi has come in and is like WHERE'S BOBBY as if they also have him tucked up in the bed] Jimmy: [unless there's anything that gets said or done when they're drunk af that we need to know, we know the vibes] Jimmy: [Oh Libi I love you so much but they should facetime him on Cass' phone cos she'll be THRILLED cos you know he's sleeping there and nobody sleeps in that house except Ian] Janis: [ooh, good point actually, we'll do that] Janis: [but yes, poor Jimothy like come sign bitch we gotta talk about santa] Jimmy: [god bless, when you just wanna sleep and snuggle your bae but you got so many jobs] Janis: [being like YOU GOT YOUR COOKIES YOU GOT YOUR MILK AND CARROTS like a checklist 'cos I remember how exciting xmas eve was you were lowkey hysterical all day] Jimmy: [plotting how you're gonna stay awake and peep Santa with those gifts] Janis: [just looking at Jimmy like you ain't gonna get no sleep lol] Jimmy: [mouthing at her to kill you away from the lip reading expert's gaze cos you can't do a dramatic death scene rn the kids are chatting a mile a minute] Janis: [pew pew at his head, also mcvickers gonna be fuming lad] Jimmy: [at least you can leave without having to see them cos that staircase] Janis: [chase you away lmao] Jimmy: [hold in the wee that you clearly will need, your house isn't far] Janis: [run boy run, but we'll throw it back to the end of your partying now] Jimmy: [we should start it as a 🚬 break because that's always good for feels and closeness when it's cold and you're half naked even if we're drunk enough not to feel it] Janis: [just drunkenly telling him about crayon colours we looked up lol] Jimmy: [guessing the colours based on their weird names unless it's obvs and then we're just pisstaking] Janis: [there's some wild ones hun, we're probably making up loads too] Jimmy: [likewise but writing them on her so she has to try and work it out when we could just say it] Janis: [we know where this is devolving and fast, wherever you are not being suitable so you're like hmpf] Jimmy: [on some random person's garden furniture that they should've brought in for the winter but have not] Janis: [you're both gonna start shivering before long so walk in the direction of the houses tah] Jimmy: [handholding and doing the little swinging thing because you've been spending all this time with the bubs] Janis: [loling at him] Jimmy: [playfully nudge her like excuse you but don't push her over because of that drunk and slippy combo please] Janis: ['you're such a nerd, you know'] Jimmy: ['Piss off' but the tone is less fuck off and more yeah I know but so are you] Janis: ['fine' and goes to walk off but likewise is joking so doesn't really] Jimmy: [nevertheless pulling her back and close into you as if she's really going because don't] Janis: ['you want me to stay?' even though you know 'cos how close you are rn] Jimmy: ['don't you want to?' even though she clearly do] Janis: [thinking he's making a point about asking stupid questions like 😏 fine] Jimmy: [just softly touching that 😏 face looking at her like no tell me you want to because we're drunk enough to have been genuinely asking and wanting an answer] Janis: ['I just want you to tell me' shrugs 'no confusion'] Jimmy: ['I just want you' because true] Janis: ['go on then' like it's a challenge but you say it so soft so like it's not] Jimmy: [the most intense kiss ever not even because it's a challenge but because the emotions are just that high okay] Janis: [no time to even talk just taking him by the hand back to yours aka mcvickers not all that way lol] Jimmy: [for a million reasons I hope whatever house you were at isn't far from there but the main one being all the kissing pauses there will be along the way regardless because that's the mood we're in] Janis: [we ain't even gon make it home energy] Jimmy: [100% support that always] Janis: [but you do, and frankly, I don't condone ladder climbing in this state so like be quiet and go in the real way] Jimmy: [that'll be a #mood in itself so] Janis: [getting him out of that santa outfit folornly like you are devvo lol] Jimmy: [gal if you're doing a pouty lip in any way you know what's gonna happen] Janis: [but of course 'why don't you care what people think?' once you can get words out again] Jimmy: ['I care what you think' because we're drunk so we can answer a question and answer it honestly] Janis: ['really?' and a confusion face] Jimmy: [😍 af about her cute expression so we lowkey forget about the question] Janis: [nudge] Jimmy: [a look like ?] Janis: ['why do you care?'] Jimmy: ['about you?' when you were only talking about what she thinks but we're drunk and we've gone deeper with it] Janis: [nods like sure, as you brought it up] Jimmy: ['it's less shit being here 'cause of you, if nowt else you should have the same back off me'] Janis: [when you can't help smile at that 'I don't want you to leave Dublin'] Jimmy: ['I'll stay' like it's that simple remotely but it is when you're drunk af] Janis: ['but you hate it here' and a look like same, obvs] Jimmy: ['I hate it everywhere' because again true] Janis: ['me too' not even trying to be banty like literally yeah same] Jimmy: [a little snugg because we don't want the bae to be sad] Janis: [snugging and sighing 'this is so weird'] Jimmy: [an even bigger sigh because it is and you don't want it to be and just saying sorry in the quietest softest voice like did you even actually say that or no] Janis: [at least it's that quiet 'cos you're meant to be that you would hear and you're shaking your head like no no 'not now, specifically or...it's not your fault, you know' 'cos you mean this whole situation for you 'cos you've never and you're like how did this happen so fast and when did we get here] Jimmy: [a shrug because he thinks everything is his fault always thanks Ian so it's like I don't know/believe that actually but we also don't think the bae is full of shit like we think a lot of people are so it's a confusing and conflicting tangle of thoughts up in here as well cos likewise has also never felt like this or expected any of this when he suggested it lol] Janis: ['I mean it' and properly looking at him but not really driving the point home harder than that right now/yet 'it's okay though, isn't it?'] Jimmy: [a nod that encompasses all the things 'are you?' cos if she's okay that's all that matters bye] Janis: ['is it a dealbreaker?' trying to make light of the fact it's like not really no] Jimmy: ['only if you're breaking our deal' like it's not okay if you don't wanna do this anymore even though it's a headfuck because ILY and I will die] Janis: ['I don't want to'] Jimmy: ['what do you want?' as if we don't know sir] Janis: [poke him in the chest] Jimmy: [just resting his hand over hers like okay I accept that and will turn it into a soft gesture] Janis: [when that lowkey says so much about the dynamic and we can't handle it 'let's just-' and kissing him] Jimmy: [kissing will always be easier so I'll allow it kids] Janis: [do that and more 'til you pass out probably 'cos honestly] Jimmy: [gonna let you say her name during at least once if you want boy because we're both not remembering this and we know it'll hit different sober anyway] Janis: [andioop soz you're trashed huns] Jimmy: [but not because it gives us freedom to do things y'all ain't ready for yet] Jimmy: [but soz that Libi will be waking you up early af]