#a very difficult post for me to make
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"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.
But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.
#simon says#i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system#once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable#this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it#because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole#but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole#don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it#also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn#like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that#also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke#my only learning resource is the library sorry about that#also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice#finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say
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ummmmmmm guys this dungeons looking a little dark here..........................ummmm..... hello??? guys??
#quirinahdraws#darkest dungeon#darkest dungeon 2#IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES SO I NEED 2 POST MY EARLY APRIL DRAWINGS FROM WHEN I WAS (am) PLAYING THIS GAME TERMINALLY....#try to guess my favorite character (very difficult impossible /j)#notable moments include reynauld and dismas kicking the bucket in my first year to which i thought after the latter. ok at least theyre#together in death or watever. anyways i got a beyond the grave a week later with both of them and i could only revive one of them and my#first thought was wow! this would make great angst fodder! i should make a comic (and then i didnt)#but dismas is dead so i can never get the achievement but he basically carried me thru vvulf bc i didnt have any legend lvl frontliners and#i didnt know u could just sacrifice a hero to retreat. or that you had to destroy the bomb barrel HAHAHAHAH but we defeated vvulf SOMEHOW#sketchdump#digital#dd plague doctor#dd jester#dd shieldbreaker#dd arbalest#dd abomination#SORRY FOR YAOIFYING BIGBY THAT BADLY IDK WHAT HAPPENED...ETTO.......#my favorite builds are damage over time <3 number one blight buddy supporter#but marked for death r also my pookies....i just find marked builds a little awkward to use imo. but bh is like my blorbo#i find it funny drawing any of the charas bc i feel like i always draw characters a little too cutesy/colorful but its shrimpresting
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joe'marr bengals reunion — a (somewhat) comprehensive timeline




1 — “have you spoken to the cincinnati bengals and what would it mean to reunite with joe burrow there?” — “i have talked to the bengals. i don’t know how many times i’ve talked to them though. but, me and joe, you know, i wouldn’t mind going back with joe. if we go back together we’re trying to do nothing but get back our chemistry and have some more fun.”
2 — “i'm really excited for this draft. i don't really know what's coming but, you know, if me and joe could get back to it... i’d love to have some fun with him again.”
3 — “i assume you'd be okay with a potential reunion in cincinnati if that were to happen?" — "yeah, i wouldn’t mind.”
4 — “me and joe talked about [a reunion] maybe like three, four times actually. we talked about it a good bit of times. he texted me this morning, just letting me know: ‘get your bags packed’, so i guess that meant that was gonna be the pick. i don’t know if that was a hint or what. so, he sent me that little text this morning, i was like ‘okay… i'm ready, bro’.”
5 — “what was your reaction like when he was lowkey recruiting you?” — “i actually was believing him sometimes, sometimes i was like ‘stop playing with me’ and sometimes i was just like ‘okay bro, i gotcha, i'm ready now’ so. i believed him this morning when he told me, you know, pack my bags. so that's when i finally was like: ‘yeah he might really be calling this’ so that's when i took his word.”
6 – “jimmy burrow, did joe tell you—he’s always been kind of coy about what he said to the bengals—did joe tell you that he wanted the bengals to select ja’marr?” — “yes, i think we figured that… and eventually… yes, he pretty much told us that he wanted ja’marr.”
7 — “it was like a week before the draft, ja'marr said: ‘dad, joe texted me.’ […] he didn't say what he said, you know. but he said: ‘joe just texted me’, [...] so he had talked to joe like... or texted with joe once or twice that week. and then he told me, he said: ‘dad, if i get with joe, we're gonna kill’ [...] so he was all excited about getting with joe.”
8 — “what was the first thing joe texted you when you got drafted by the bengals?” — “make sure your bag's packed and ready. yeah, that was what he told me.”
9 — “the cincinnati bengals are on the clock now. earlier that morning, i had got a text from joe. he said: hope your bags are packed. i know it's me, at the moment, that's what i'm saying to myself. i can't wait to be a part of it.”
10 — articles: 1, 2, 3, 4
#wasn’t gonna post this#but then one of my friends asked me about the whole draft-texting-reunion-saga#so i tried to compile a timeline#added it to the joe’marr google doc that i made for my friends (who WILL be turned into nfl fans even if it's against their will)#and then i figured i might as well edit it together and upload it cause i do kind of wanna have this on here#anyway i guess the timeline on this is#some very limited communication between them during the season#as evidenced by that one pre-draft interview with joe in which he was like ‘yeah we still talk now and again’#then the frequency increases a little bit as they're starting to realise how well-positioned the bengals are gonna be in the upcoming draft#joe is reportedly being kept ‘in the loop’ re: the drafting/scouting process#starts seeing a real possibility of playing with ja’marr again#and begins cautiously mentioning the idea of a reunion around ja’marr#who is clearly a lot more hesitant unsure guarded etc etc regarding the whole thing#doesn’t know if joe is being serious maybe doesn’t wanna get his hopes up and risk being disappointed#(‘sometimes i was like stop playing with me’ and: ‘i didn’t believe it but then he provec me wrong’)#and then ofc the whole thing culminates in the text joe sends him#sidenote: i love ja’marr’s somewhat inconsistent narrative here#(i'm saying this as if he doesn't ALWAYS have theee most unrealiable narration lol)#like........ was it the evening before….. or the morning of.…..#and what exactly was the wording of that message#because he keeps alternating between ‘we're coming to get you’ and ‘make sure your bags are packed’#truly one of my favourite aspects about this ship is how much detective work you gotta put into#figuring out what the hell is going on between these two#which is made considerably more difficult by joe never commenting on these Highly Important Topics#and ja'marr who will truly just. say anything.#ANYWAY enough rambling pleeaaase let me know if i forgot anything or if you guys have extra content/opinions/interviews re: this entire saga#ja'marr chase#joe burrow#joe'marr#joemarr
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🌸 !!CHAPTER TWELVE POSTED!! 🌸
Title: Four Walls
Tags: Slow burn, domesticity, friends to lovers, smut, pining post sias/pre am era
Summary: Disillusioned with LA and on the heels of a breakup, Alex goes to stay with Miles in London.
#uh... surprise? 🙈#i can't believe i'm finally sharing this#i'm so SO happy to be able to and i really hope you'll all enjoy it 🫶#(god knows you've waited long enough 😅)#i've had some difficult personal stuff going on that for a while made me feel like i was never going to be able to continue this fic#but i had underestimated how enduring my own love for it is#and also the magic and elusive and unexpected nature of creativity ✨#it has truly been more wonderful than i can express to have got back into the swing of writing it over the last little while#and i am so so excited for you all to see where it's going!!#the biggest thank you to everyone who's been so supportive of this fic#it's one so close to my heart and you truly don't know how much it means to me to have other people connect to it 💖#special thanks to the @applysome for being the most wonderful person. this fic wouldn't be where it is without you 💗💗#anyway! enough out of me#i very much hope you enjoy 😘#if you want to make my entire week then please feel free to drop a comment when you're done reading 💜#tlsp#the last shadow puppets#milex#alex turner#miles kane#four walls#milex fanfiction#milex fanfic#lulu posts
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I was thinking about this post comparing sqh and jgy, and then this chart happened. this is less about what they're Actually like, and more about a combination of intentional persona + public perception of them
#mxtx#svsss#mdzs#tgcf#thank you to my friend and mutual bifrosted-flakes who helped me with the tgcf characters#should I tag everybody... oh boy#nie huaisang#shang qinghua#jin guangyao#jiang cheng#liu qingge#nie mingjue#hua cheng#xie lian#qi rong#luo binghe#sqh is simultaneously very pathetic and very competent#like people scoff at him for being the peak lord of an ding#and then still go to him to handle logistics#binghe oscillates between all of these corners depending on who he's with#with shizun he's just a weepy little guy 🥺#and then with everyone else he's the extremely volatile demon lord#jiang cheng was difficult bc public perception of him changes over time#bc he's definitely very competent#but he got bad public opinion at first bc he was such a young sect leader and wwx was making politics hell for him#but post-timeskip i think he's seen as much more competent
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133/365 days of maya bishop
#i’m slowly getting back to this again 🫣#bare with me please…#post con depression always hits me very hard#making it very difficult to deal with life in general#and creating and making gifs is definitely a challenge#i promise i’ll do my best 💛#maya bishop#station 19#danielle savre#station19#station19edit#s19edit#marina#maya and carina#dailytvwomen#dailyflicks#mine#tv: s19#tv: mb#365mb#dailytvfilmgifs#tvgifs#tvedit#tv series#tv characters#tv shows#bisexual characters#bisexual#lgbt characters#lgbtqia+
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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how do u imagine natasha + sampo’s relationship?
I. Feel a little bad for leaving this in my inbox as long as I did, especially since I said in this post I could write a whole essay on them. But then when I tried to actually answer this, I realized ah shit, I can't really articulate what I think of them at all OTL
(so have a bajillion words of meta analysis of them instead fklajklasjf)
Just! Sampo is very mysterious figure, and we know so little of his background and his motivations! So it's really difficult to get a solid read on some of his relationships with other characters. Regardless, I do think that Natasha is perhaps the one he's closest with, and that she is the one person who knows him the most intimately in all of Belobog.
And a lot of it IS hard to pin down because of Sampo's slippery nature, but also because it's like. If you look at just Natasha's dialogues about Sampo, it doesn't really look like much. It only becomes more meaningful when compared to how everyone else talks about him.
Most other characters just comment on what Sampo does, as in his observable actions that are easy to see on the surface or from a distance.
Natasha is one of the very, very few that actually speaks to Sampo's personality or philosophy. Like she not only is able to describe a certain behavior of his, but she's able to explain the why behind it.
At least part of this is probably that they spend so much time together- Hook even comments on it during her companion quest.
And tbh I don't really think it needs more proof or anything with such a flat out statement like that, but this is actually further supported by the fact that Seele is the only other character in Belobog to sorta-kinda comment on Sampo's personality; if Sampo were hanging around the clinic with Natasha all day, Seele would probably be the person he would see second-most there. Of the dialogues posted further up in this post, Hook obviously sees him all the time, but it's not always in the clinic, and besides she's still very young...she wouldn't have the same read on him an adult would. Luka avoids the clinic whenever he can because he's worried about taking up Natasha's valuable time. And the Landau siblings aren't even present in Boulder Town until after the Stellaron is quieted.
Seele, on the other hand, is extremely loyal and devoted to Natasha, and seems to worry about her a lot. She doesn't have the same reservations as Luka, and it would feel right to see her in the clinic frequently, taking orders and missions and trying to make sure Natasha doesn't run herself in the ground. So it would make sense for her to see a lot of Sampo if he's always in there, too, enough that she would have things to say about his personality, whether she likes that or not haha.
Of course we know from Sampo's lines that it's not that he's sick, he's just reporting back to Natasha. Sampo not only smuggles in supplies across the border like what most people know him for, he's also Natasha's source of intel.
Bringing back intel doesn't necessarily have to involve a lot of conversation though, especially because it would make more sense for Sampo to be turning in written reports. It decreases the chance of Natasha mishearing/misunderstanding something or having to rely on memory alone, neither of which are really things you probably want to be doing when bad intel can mean the difference between life and death in her circumstances. So I do really wonder what it is Sampo does in the clinic all day haha. Given that he's a big believer in the power of small talk bringing in big clients, it's entirely possible Sampo is just in there being chatty, happily making conversation and keeping Natasha company most of the time...which is kinda cute. He also really could just be talking shop, too, of course- Sampo does a lot of work for Natasha, and I don't think it'd be a stretch to assume she's his main client. There's probably a lot to discuss about supply quotas, incoming intel, scheduled drops, etc.
My favorite option, though, is actually based on one of Sampo's options from the main quest, where he says:

Because like! The way he says this, the way he specifies that this is his opinion, but no one seems to care what he thinks? And how he calls them stubborn in particular? It really sounds like Sampo has been trying to get Wildfire to operate in a different direction. And if you look up the exact definition of "artless," you get this

which very much fits Sampo, and how he does things. He has guile and deception down to an art form. Sampo goes on to call Wildfire "do-gooders," but then cautions the trailblazer not to underestimate them because of that- indicating that Sampo sees that type of philosophy as something naive, or at least just ineffective. Something that you would underestimate a person for.
And the person Sampo associates with the most in Wildfire, the one he's always seen with, the one who would hold the most sway to change the modus operandi of the organization is...Natasha.
So I wonder if Sampo has been trying, possibly for years now, to get Natasha to see what he thinks of as reason, and start playing dirty to survive. I wonder if that's what he spends so much time in the clinic for, is because he does care, and he wants her and the rest of them to live, and he has been trying to convince her to go with his way of doing things, but Natasha has been refusing him, refusing to compromise her morals.
Because we know from some readables and from the general Vibe, both up on the surface and down below, that things were getting pretty dire. Rivet Town has fallen. The Silvermane Guards are being whittled down and broken. The Fragmentum was right on everyone's doorstep, and I'm sure that if the Astral Express hadn't arrived- and that if Sampo hadn't set the stage so perfectly, if he hadn't played his part just so- then all of Belobog would have eventually been snuffed out. Sampo had to have known it was happening. He must have known the end was upon them.
He doesn't even have a stake in Belobog- he's not from here. He could, assumingly, call it quits and leave when shit got tough by whatever means got him there in the first place.
And I'm sure Sampo wants to save all of Belobog, but I think he's particularly endeared by Natasha. He famously phrases his view of Elation as "true happiness always entails the manifestation of the dignity of mankind." And like. Who else embodies that so much as her?
Maybe it is a little vague and up to interpretation, but I feel like Natasha is FULL of that kind of dignity. She has been doing this since before the blockade. She willingly chose to stay in the Underground where she could do the most good. She has seen so, so much death and you can see how it weighs on her; she's become bitter, and wary, and weary. She has it out for the Guards (understandable), and she openly taunts Gepard and goes right for his throat when he shows up in Boulder Town, ten years too late, trying to help with the Fragmentum.
Natasha even seems to have given up any belief she may have once had. She's completely lost faith in Qlipoth.
All of this, and yet she still chooses to be kind. She still chooses to help people. There is something immensely admirable in all of that.
And I feel like you can see how much Sampo admires her in just how often he thinks of her, especially when someone needs help. Sampo smokebombs everyone and needs to get them somewhere safe in the Underground? He takes them to Natasha. Svarog is about to fucking kill everyone? Go get Natasha. He finds the trailblazer passed out in an alleyway? He carries them to Natasha. The trailblazer is seeing weird shit out in the Fragmentum? Recommend they go get a check up. Specifically from Natasha.
It's a little silly, but I think you can also see some of this when Sampo is being melodramatic about being caught red-handed in the museum event. He echoes a very important sentiment to Natasha and Wildfire;

And the mission where this ideology was displayed strongest was titled, "To Rot or To Burn."
(Hell, in the dream sequence of Penacony- regardless of whether that dream bubble came from Sampo or Sparkle, it had to be informed by Sampo's tales of Belobog. Sparkle has never been there herself. And the kind trashcan that immediately helps you and sets you on the right path, that tries to rally everyone together, the only one with a name so clearly and obviously taken from someone Sampo knew in Belobog? Is Shatana- an anagram of Natasha. Even from a meta perspective, they have the same VA. No other trashcan there gets that treatment. None.)
I think they have the same goals, and even hold some of the same views. Natasha's are much more obvious, but still. Sampo says this about Belobog's circumstances:
And he says this as though it should be obvious common sense. That when things are rough, you share and make sure everyone has enough. I think they both share this belief, it's just that they disagree on how to go about making things even. Natasha believes in rallying people for the cause and giving as much of herself as she can to make up for whatever people lack. Sampo believes that if some dipshit with more money than what they need falls for his bullshit and he gets to spread it around? Well hey, that sounds like a whole lot of their own fault.
Natasha is definitely aware of this, and she has no problem threatening Sampo whenever she thinks he's stepping out of line.
She keeps him on a very short leash, which like. Yeah no that's valid fjkdlsajfdklj
Even so, the way she talks about him, like... Maybe it's just me, and my rose-colored glasses, but she doesn't seem to dislike him nearly as much as she could? She kind of just. Says these things as statements about him, without any real vitriol behind them. This is just kind of how he is. She even seems to have a sense of humor about it.
And again! She has so much more to say about him than almost any other character.
I'd like to think part of her...affection? of sorts? for him is simple camaraderie. Circumstances are dire. Past, present, and future are all bleak. Things like that deepen bonds with your foxhole buddies. Sampo is dependent on Natasha for work and pay and a place to get away from the Guards. Natasha is dependent on Sampo for food and medicine and life-saving supplies. They both heavily rely on each other in this harsh environment, and they have a really nice back-and-forth that I appreciate with how they help each other out by owing favors as payment.
And the other part, I'd like to think actually IS because she knows him very well- maybe not things like his past, but she knows some of his personality and beliefs, and finds them agreeable enough. She even has the audacity to call him a poor liar at one point- Sampo! Of all people! Known by someone well enough to be caught out as a poor liar! He's either intentionally leading her on and letting her think she's caught him, or Natasha just really is that good. Neither would surprise me tbh
I think Natasha is also just uniquely prepared to understand Sampo, and is able to see his better sides without letting her judgement be clouded by his slimy manner. She's able to appreciate that his actions ARE extremely helpful, regardless of how he does them.


Even as she acknowledges that he isn't always trustworthy, she does still choose to rely on him and give him chances. She was pleasantly surprised by him here, but she still chose to trust him with this in the first place. She never treats him harshly, and she never seems to bear any kind of grudge with him.
But my favorite example of Natasha being able to understand Sampo? My favorite is this. This one little throwaway line, that didn't even involve him, wasn't even about him. I feel like Natasha is capable of knowing and understanding Sampo on a deeper level than most people can, solely because of this.
She gets it.
(As a fun bonus: In the current trashcan event, there's a simple mechanic where you get one trial character for the initial battle. Then, for the harder stage, you get that same trial character, plus a couple of extras. This is true for every Proof- except for Sampo's. In his harder stage, you use Asta, Black Swan, and Luocha. But in his initial stage, in an event all about friendship and relationships...)
#honkai star rail#hsr#sampotasha#sampo koski#natasha harrower#hsr sampo#hsr natasha#I don't particularly see them as lovers...but given it's all about their relationship in canon I think it's ok to tag as ship yeah?#if any shippers would like to use this as fuel it would make me so so happy haha#I think their relationship is very difficult to pin down but like. there certainly is. something there.#Maybe...saying I see them as an artist and his muse is most correct?#I'm very sleepy rn and it's past my bedtime. I stayed up late to write this but I don't wanna pick it apart later so let's go!#Off with you! Post now!#I don't think I could articulate in any more if I tried anyway. they make my brain whir but it's like. a wordless whir.#I have a hard time putting words to them fjdkslajfkl#so yeah we'll go with that. an artist and his muse#I hope its. at least somewhat understandable orz#Sorry to the anon that asked this like months ago. I hope you see it somehow.#answer#anon
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Erenwol week Day 6
He asked me if I would take him to meet my family. I explained the situation. I wasn't sure how he would react after everything that happened, but it seemed important to him. Important enough that he still wanted to go, and while I always dread the thought of going back home, it was easier having him with me… I know my mom would've loved him.
Thanks of course to @zeloinator for the prompt list. ♥
#erenwolweek2024#Final Fantasy XIV#FFXIV#wolship#WoL x Erenville#Erenvahl#this prompt was sort of difficult for me since X'vahl's ''family'' status is very much ''it's complicated''#Could've gone two different ways with this one...#I chose the more somber option#only because the other option is one I'm not sure how I want to make canon or when just yet...#I'll probably post the shots from that one as well anyway#just not as a part of the prompts#since these are all supposed to be part of X'vahl's travel journal.#Erenville also knows about X'vahl's kids#but since X'vahl still has no idea where they are#or if they even know that he's their dad#he can't really take him to meet them.
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i don't think i've ever mentioned this on here, but i'm a Hellenic polytheist, i have been for a year or two. the issue is that because of this i've started really struggling with my percy jackson dr. i don't want to disrespect the gods by thinking of one of them as my parent and viewing the other gods the way they are in the books and deciding what their personalities and appearances are. i really love the series and the characters but i'm struggling a bit.
I've decided that all i can do is hope the gods understand and that when i think of these things i am not thinking of the real gods, i am thinking of characters. (i have to do that when reading the books anyway because otherwise it feels wrong) I'm not talking about Poseidon, for example, I'm talking about the version created by Rick Riordan. i feel like that distinction is very important for me and i hope that works out so i feel less awkward and anxious about shifting to my pjo reality.
{btw, if anyone has any questions feel free to fire away!}
#very anxious to make this post haha!!#reality shifting#hellenic polytheist#shifting#desired reality#shifting community#shiftblr#reality shift#shifting script#shifting realities#dr scripting#shifting blog#pjo dr#shifting antis dni#reality shifter#generally i have the view that the gods brought me to shifting for a reason#so i don't think they would feel disrespected or offended in any way by anything#but i can't be 100% sure as unlike my other drs this one is directly about them.#balancing my religion and the fact i will have to talk to Dionysus and Hades and Persephone and Poseidon and Zeus#and the others in my dr#is so far a bit difficult.
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Trying to figure out how I can justify the people of Bór being a different ethnicity than the people of Ulfang (I tend to automatically visualise the one as vaguely Mongolian but the other as Germanic-looking??) (the latter runs somewhat counter to canon since we know they had dark hair at least but never mind) and still have a connected culture (unless they don't...🤔) — ...aaand now I've realised I have no idea why humans in Arda even have ethnicities if their development runs on something vaguely similar to young earth creationism
#the pain of trying to culture-worldbuild when there's abt 300 years for cultures to diverge huh#for the record I'm not salty at Tolkien and I think it's a very valid writing choice#ir just makes things so difficult for me lol#silmarillion#low effort post but tagging#people of bor#people of ulfang#easterlings#because I doubt the tags have a lot in them#rambling
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tw for gorey imagery
okay so basically him. I copied his hat from a photo bc I got lazy and didn't want to bear with drawing it for n'th time.
#i was actually considering making a mod that would change hancock's texture to make it more ghoulish (like fallout nv/3)#tbh i feel kind of shy posting it#my way of thinking is very. speficic. difficult even.#please forgive me for any digital painting mistakes I truly dont know what i was doing#john hancock#fallout 4#fo4 john hancock#fanart#fallout#art#digital art#illustration
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reports are getting more and more serious about franco having an alpine role next year and I'm so torn between a) its good for him to move/get loaned to a team with a bit more money and a more stable car & hopefully keep up the momentum a bit and b) NO NOT ALPINE!! ANYONE BUT ALPINE!!
#i cant in good conscience support the team which would make it very difficult for me#but idek if williams HAD a reserve driver last year? i cant find reports anywhere at least#so if they couldnt pull a fulltime role out for him - and alpine does offer their reserves etc pretty good testing...#like i understand the choice#and ultimately i want the best for him#franco colapinto#fc43#f1#formula 1#formula one#polite cat posts
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lmao a mod just to spill the discourse on the nexus? really? this is where we are coming to?
oh no how dare people find fault with the da4 writing, i'm going to make the most annoying mod of all time just to make fun of them because i'm soooooo mature
#many things have been getting on my nerves today but this is a last straw sorry i'm becoming a villain#like omggg who caressss are you happy? does it give you satisfaction to have made of people a strawman?#ohhhh look at me i don't understand the criticisms people make but i'm going to make fun of you with false equivencies <3#sORRY LIKE#this specific mod is specifically about critisms about like. modern writing#people are still VERY mad at that one thread about various word uses in DA including how much 'okay' is being used#it's almost like this thread had an overrall point and not just 'ahah they say okay too much what losers'#but what would people who's only talent is post passive aggressive mods on nexus dot com would know about anything#oh im just mean today this has been a garbage week and a difficult day but now i just want to maim and kill#demons and humans are too similar indeed bc this is my demon original story#ichatalks about da#ichablogging davg#ichasalty
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🎉 a very encouraging Commander Tartar has appeared to motivate YOU! 🎉
Doesn't it uplift your spirits right away?
[translation [GER]: "Viel Erfolg" -> "Good Luck"]
#splatoon#splatoon 2#octo expansion#commander tartar#my art :o]#tonal whiplash from my last post lmao#wdym this isn't canon? this absolutely happens in the game - big ol' handsome telephone being ✨moe✨ is canon - trust me bro#this is all the encouragement I need to collect the 4 thangs 🫡 The Promised Land awaits#you can imagine this guy motivating you to do anything if you'd like#need motivation to do your laundry? got a big assignment? how about a difficult phone call? don't worry buddy#this funky [and very normal] telephone will cheer you on! 🎉#[I couldn't be assed to make an ENG text version lmao you must deal with the GER text jumpscare]
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there is something so. intensely frustrating about feeling incapable of showing up for people the way that they want you to
#i wish people understood that it's so hard to be present in their lives and that closeness for me isnt about frequency of contact#but how open we feel during that contact#my brain is such a difficult place to live in it is so loud and so busy all the time#24 hours a day is a constant monologue and argument with myself for everything and it means that i just dont have the capacity to talk to#others most of the time#and like. i know this is so unreasonable. obviously we have to be present in the lives of people that care for us#but it just feels like every day i have to like. get on a stage and perform to every person in my life that cares about me so i can meet the#criteria of being a Good Friend or Good Girlfriend or Good Fan Artist or Good Mutual or Good Server Member#i feel like it is such a blessing to be seen by others as someone to expect things from#but as more people have started to love me it feels like i have to 'go out and perform' more and more and i am very exhausted#i wish i was someone that was easy to love and care for in the way that i am. and i dont mean that self deprecatingly it's just#i know im very hard to care about and love. because i disappear all the time and come back in a big flurry as soon as i get the energy back#and im just feeling it a Lot More lately because im starting to think this isnt going to be a short term thing i have to do before i start#feeling comfortable with a person#this is going to be my whole life#if i get married im going to have to 'go out and perform' and be a good wife and be affectionate and happy and not closed into my own brain#for days#if im going to make friends with colleagues I'll have to go out when they invite me and have to reply ro their texts and i cant just go#silent for weeks while i try to negotiate with my thoughts and then reappear once i make the slightest breakthrough#im very tired and sad. i want companionship but i feel like the kind of person i am is not fair for people who would be my companion#vent post#♡alizeh talks♡
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