#a victim of parental abuse seems WAY too fucking much like victim blaming for me to be comfortable with

[drawmanations]

Tagged by @cyanichexanthine a while ago to list 9 favourite characters (ty for tagging me). This is very much late, my brain was just blanking. So, here's the list. It's in no particular order, apart from the first two

Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty)

You gotta expect Rick to be in here. RnM is my main fandom right now, and of course Rick would be a favourite character. He's sarcastic, snarky, an asshole and has a lot of emotional baggage.

I wouldn't say he's too complex, but definitely not simple.

2. Rick Prime (Rick and Morty)

Prime is very interesting. We somehow get so much information with how little time we have. Although, most of it may be headcanonning. Tbh, I think that's why he's fun, we can headcanon Prime bc of how little screentime he has when you step back and look at the series as a whole.

Of course, we do know a lot about him from what we were shown. Like he's also a snarky asshole who likes to toy with other people and mess with them. Even when he was dying he could still get under Rick's skin.

3. Louise Belcher (Bob's Burgers)

Louise has that kind of chaotic energy I vibe with. I think she and Bob are two of the best characters in the show, though that's not saying the other characters are worse.

4. Peril (Wings of Fire)

Peril is a very complex character with a very fucked up past.

When she was young, her mother was forced to give her to Scarlet, where she was then forced to grow up as a killer. Scarlet was very much abusive and she was isolated from everyone and everything.

Because of that path, everyone sees her as a killing machine and nothing more. Her attachment to Clay is unhealthy because of him being the only dragon to hear her our and see her for who she is, a traumatized dragon who only knows how to kill because of how she was raised. And I guess her having firescales and him having fireproof saes helps with that.

I like Peril because of how complex she is. And I hate how some of the fandom is victim blaming her.

5. Ex-Queen Scarlet (Wings of Fire)

She's a villain. A queen. She slays. Scarlet is my favourite villain in wof. Her design with the melted face is awesome, I really love her sadistic attitude too, bc off course I do.

I would strangle Scarlet lovingly

6. Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

Mom Steve is all I have to say, and the fandom will get me. (I think... I'm not in the stranger things fandom, I just watched the show).

At first, I hated Steve, I thought he was an asshole and I watched to punch him. Now, if he dies, I will punch my TV. I've never switched so quickly with my liking for a character between two seasons of a show. I think... idk I don't watch many shows.

7. Jim Hopper (Stranger Things)

Jim is a cold and distant person turned adopted parent and I love him for that.

I also thought I would hate him. He seemed like lazy dude who would do nothing during the case. (Fun fact, I thought all the adults would be clueless and I would only like the kids, since most shows are like that). But he actually steps up in a big way.

I was worried that they would fuck him up in season 3 with him trying to break up Mike and Eleven. But, they made up for it, and I cried at the end of season 3.

I love him and Steve sm. Pls don't die.

8. Clive (Littlebigplanet 2)

Okay, this may be a bit weird, but hear me out.

This man is the best character in lbp2. He's so fucking depressed and I love him. Clive and his world are my favourite in LBP2.

9. Bob Belcher (Bob's Burgers)

Best cartoon dad, hands down. He's so chill and actually pays attention to his kids. Plus he isn't rude, offensive or a baby waiting for his wife to clean up after him. He's just a dad trying to do his job while also having 3 (if Tina counts) chaotic kids.

One of my favourite characters in Bob's burgers, fr.

That's the list. Idk who to tag so uh-...

👍

[rawesomesauce]

the ultimatum s3 thoughts so far

Lisa: Abuser! Liar! Pick me! She was embarrassing from start to finish and I already know her bird ass not coming to the reunion. Get off my screen.

Brian: I'm so sorry you're trapped with this woman. He seems like a genuinely good guy, honestly just co parent and detach yourself from that unhealed toxic ass banshee.

Trey: 9/10, He is almost the whole package, but I really think he should let Riah go if he can't compromise on her wanting to have some experiences before marriage, cuz as a 24 year old still figuring shit out, I empathize with all her worries. That being said-

Riah: GIRLY! If you want to live your life for you like you say you do, you don't need your man to come with you to the city especially if he don't wanna be there! Also, either move past him catching feelings or end the relationship. It isn't fair to dwell on things, especially cuz you knew the consequences coming into this. I love her though, she's real one and I feel like we'd be friends.

James: I hate when men make their trauma everyone else's problem. Either make steps to heal or shut the fuck up! Why should the women around him accommodate to his brooding? Ryann deserves a man who is willing to communicate with her because she's such a catch, and I think she's settling for James and he can feel it too, so he strings her along so he feels he has the upper hand in the relationship. I hope to God she pushes for him to go to therapy or honey there's a big storm coming.

Ryann: I love this girl omg, she is so sweet and down to earth. But 7 years? They need time apart to date other people for real so she can realize some men are ready to put in effort immediately and don't need to be pulled by the ear. But I just know she'll settle anyways so it's sad.

Roxanne: At first I liked her, but realized she's one of those girl boss feminists very much giving barbieland at the beginning of the movie. She needs a wake up call, but her man is a coffee table so she's not gonna get one.

Alex: Before I get into why he bothers me, I have to point out I am so glad he put Roxanne in her place. She met her match with this guy and it pissed both of them off to not be able to walk over their partners which is why both of them came back to their exes with such relief. BUT this douchebag keeps telling Kat that she's "pleasant" to be around, and while that's a reasonable request for a future spouse to not be generally unpleasant, the way he says it is very much giving "keep sweet" if you know what I mean.

Kat: Referring to my previous statement, I wonder what religion this couple follows if any because the way Kat "submits" to Alex is familiar and disheartening to watch. That being said, Kat is such a people pleaser, she literally agreed with every single person on the show the entire time and the only time she argued or said a conflicting opinion it was in DEFENSE of Alex. So yeah, I worry for her.

Antonio: S to the I to the M to the P. Like i'm sorry roxanne despises you and you don't have the self respect or insight to vocalise it, because we KNOW you KNOW you just don't wanna say it. But in his defense, I think Roxanne is verbally abusive so she reinforces his insecurities and uses finances as leverage over him. If he wasn't so focused on self loathing he would see his relationship is a form of self harm and would take steps to leave. But I'm not a fan of victim blaming so I genuinely feel bad for him.

[heavenlyeden]

♱Heavenly Feast♱

𓆩Chapter 9 - Catharsis𓆪

𓆩 Previous 𓆪 ♱ 𓆩 Masterlist 𓆪 ♱ 𓆩 Next 𓆪

CW: Implied minor death, child abuse, explicit noncon, wound fucking, cannibalism, and victim blaming.

Kieran's slender shaky hands gripped the knife tight as he stood above the crying girl. His entire body ached and tensed, stuck in place. He felt his father's firm hand on his shoulder as he whispered:

"What's wrong? Didn't you say she humiliated you and that you were so angry you could kill her?"

Yes, he remembered saying that. But he never thought his father would interpret a teenage boy's angry outburst after being humiliated by his racist classmate as his real wish.

"I don't- I-I didn't want this…"

"What? You don't want this? Hm. I don't understand why you are backing up from what you clearly stated to me."

His voice lowered slightly, but that alone was enough to shake Kieran to his core. Something about the person behind him felt… demonic. The way he whispered, trying to urge his own child to commit an unforgivable sin.

At that moment, he stopped recognizing his father. A demon had taken his place.

"I truly-"

"Oh, Kieran, don't delude yourself."

The girl… no, it wasn't a girl anymore, but a familiar rotten person. Benjamin taunted him with that infuriating smile of his.

"You know you want this. Don't try to pretend you don't, that you are a good person. Go on, Kieran…,"

The demonic being behind Kieran who he once called father and his spitting image below him whispered, their voices blending together.

"Punish me."

Kieran laid in bed immobile as his brain slowly processed the nightmare and brought him back to reality. His hair inside the silk bonnet was humid with sweat. He slowly raised his hand before him — it shook uncontrollably. Holding it into a fist to make it stop, he urged himself to sit up.

He breathed in and out, trying to push the thoughts away and calm his racing heart. As he looked around the room to ground himself, he caught sight of his family. Although his father's face was concealed, he could picture it clearly.

Despite that, Kieran took the portrait in his hands and pulled off the picture, unfolding his hidden face. He couldn't believe no one, not even himself, noticed it until it was too late — that demonic, devious look behind his dark eyes and angelical face and smile. It made Kieran's stomach churn.

Sick of letting him plague his thoughts any longer, he put the photo back unfolded and set the portrait down.

He moved on with his day, playing random songs on his phone as he made breakfast.

A familiar tune sounded from the phone's speakers, making him freeze. Overwhelming dread filled him as they began to sing those damned lyrics.

I know you belong to somebody new

Images of his parents dancing to the song flashed on his mind. A gesture that seemed romantic at first, but became repulsive when he realized his father's true nature.

Snapping out of the trance, Kieran paused the song. Why, out of all songs, this had to play? First the nightmare, and then that devil's signature song – it almost felt like the universe wanted to torment Kieran with memories of him.

Kieran tried to continue with his morning routine, but the dread and repulsion slowly turned to fury. And as soon as he ate the last bite of his meal, instead of starting his work day at the usual time, he went down the basement to pay Joseph's reincarnation a visit.

Benjamin laid where Kieran had left him, with a glazed expression on his face. But, to Kieran's content, he shivered when Kieran approached him and crouched by his side.

Benjamin looked at him, and begged him with pure despair and pain. "Kill me," Kieran deduced from his impaired speech.

"Why should I? This is your punishment, and I won't show you mercy. You deserve much worse."

Benjamin grabbed at Kieran's leg, growing even more desperate.

"-Lease," he begged, almost incoherently.

Kieran stared at him for a moment, taking in how pathetic he was. How low that demon had fallen.

His pathetic begging filled Kieran with desire, overcoming the anger he felt. Perhaps, he could be merciful to him when he begged so nicely. As Kieran stood up and went to choose a tool to kill him, an idea creeped from the bottom of his most rotten fantasies.

He had made sure in the past to never let such a disgusting fantasy fester. But Benjamin deserved it. Kieran was sure his father had done the same sort of thing, so why not give Benjamin a taste of it?

Kieran chose an adorned knife he made himself for gutting or skinning corpses, and came back to Benjamin, pushing him on his back. He smiled as Benjamin shook at the sight of the knife.

"What's wrong?" he teased, running the blade on his stomach without cutting. "You begged me for death. Don't act scared now."

Benjamin closed his eyes, pushing tears down. Kieran savored his fear for a bit more, and then started cutting on his lower abdomen. He tried to struggle by instinct, but Kieran held him down as he carefully cut a large enough incision. His cries of pain filled him with lust.

Kieran threw the knife away and pulled his pants down. As soon as Benjamin realized what was coming for him, he started screaming and begging. But it was too late. Kieran held him down with a sadistic grin on his face, and positioned his cock on the cut.

And then he thrusted in, getting a guttural scream out of Benjamin. The smell of blood made Kieran's mouth water, but it wasn't enough for him to lose his lucidity yet. Kieran savoured his expression once more, before fucking his insides roughly.

Benjamin clawed and screamed like an animal, to Kieran's delight. Wasn't that what he wanted? Wasn't that what he asked him to do? So he should bear the punishment for transforming him into a monster.

Kieran's teeth sharpened as the smell of blood took his toll on him. Lust and hunger mixed together, and he took a bite out of Benjamin's cheek, ripping it off. At that moment, Benjamin's eyes rolled back and he went limp and silent. Yet, Kieran didn't stop. The only sounds were of the squelches of Kieran penetrating his guts.

Kieran ate more of him, who didn't react, and raped him until he came inside of him, fully satisfied. His teeth and nails came back to normal as soon as he did. He pulled away, leaving Benjamin disfigured and gutted on the floor.

That dread and anger from earlier had vanished completely, replaced by pure glee and satisfaction. As if a weight had been taken off from his head after punishing Benjamin.

As he left the basement to take a shower and fix himself, he saw the phone he had left in his room before going down, still paused on that wretched song.

And despite his best instincts, he played the song with bloody fingers.

He didn't feel as much dread listening to it as he did earlier, to his surprise. The catharsis had numbed him from being blinded by the memories.

If anything… The song was good. He could see why that demon liked it.

Taglist: @suspicious-whumping-egg @thatonefoxyplush @hidden-dreamland @whump-me-baby-one-more-time @whatwasmyprevioususername @zillastar13 @burntcoffeewhump @whump-cravings

[romanarose]

Seattle: Chapter 5

Marc Spector X fem! OC

Seattle Masterlist

Part 4 : Part 6

Summary: Rebecca and Marc travel back to Chicago for a funeral, Rebecca and Marc face people from their past, together.

Warnings: References to domestic violence, sexual assault via condom tampering, references to child abuse, shown child abuse (aggressive behavior/manhandling/pain inflicted on teenagers), mentions of miscarriage, inflicting miscarriage, siblings being siblings, victim blaming, Marc and Rebecca are in a bit of a fight, Rebecca got some anger she gotta work on.

Not proof read, this literally took me hours I'm so tired of looking at it

This picture is just so cute asdfgjkl look how mad he is, he’s pouting watching the others fight knowing he’s not supposed to intervene

A/N got my groove back, last chapter sucked ass, this is much better. the flashbacks have tie in with the present, top tier

**********

“Mac, I told you 1000 times you didn’t have to come”

It had been nearly two months at this point. Two months of divorce paper work and filing complaints with the court, getting medical and police records. Jack’s calls and texts to Becca had become none-stop, to the point where the courts ordered all phone communication to go through Matty. No protection or restraining order was granted, however the judge seemed to think Jack “wasn’t an immediate threat”. It still seemed like Rebecca would be granted the divorce and a settlement, Matt and Foggy were good at their job, but the male judge still seemed to take things easy on Jack, despite the overwhelming evidence.

“Oh, yeah, sure, and leave you to deal with him alone? Yeah Beccs, I’m definitely gonna do that” Marc rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “And I told you, that you don’t have to go in the first place.” After several decade of drinking and poor health, Rebecca’s dad died of a heart attack. Marc knew better than most that this does not bring the relief that many might think, but it doesn’t bring the sorrow you’d expect from the death of a parent. It brings both, and it’s confusing as hell. He tried to tell her she didn’t have to go to the funeral or the shiva, but she insisted she had too. Rebecca had lost years to Jack, years of traditions and faith, Marc assumed this was part of her reclaiming it.

Problem was, Jack was going too. Asa invited him. Rebecca refused to tell Asa the brunt of what happened, Marc figured this was out of pride, or embarrassment, but either way, Asa had taken Jack's side in the divorce, as had much of the family. Still, for whatever reason, Rebecca had decided it was her duty to go and help. She had already insta-carted groceries she’d need to feed the family after services. Rebecca wasn’t observing the complete shiva, no she couldn’t take her family that long. Funeral was the evening of their flight, which left at 6 in the fucking morning, then one day of shiva with everyone, Sunday, they’d get lunch with Elias, and her and Marc might spend some time at their old stomping grounds, then head home monday in time for Steven to teach his evening class, and Rebecca would finish out the shiva in her own way. ‘In and out’ she had said, like it was a fucking heist. Somehow, this was more intimidating than any mission he had been on before. Chicago, his dad, her dad, Jack, Asa… it was all overwhelming. Hey mate, I’ll be here, yeah? I can fake your accent pretty well. Maybe not for dad, but enough to get by with the shiva, so it’s too much, let me take over, yeah?

I’ll be fine, Steven, thanks

Marc.

He sighed. Yeah, okay, I’ll let you take the body if I need it.

And just talk to her. She understands. She loves you.

I need to be here for her

I know, but she’s still embarrassed. Allowing her to help you, will help her too. She wants to repay you

She doesn’t have too-

I know, but she wanted to.

“I know you don’t want to come. I can handle Jack and Asa by myself” She insisted, breaking Marc out of his thoughts.

Marc scoffs, they’ve had this argument 100 the last few days since Asa called to tell her her dad passed. “Yeah, right, and leave you to get back together with Jack” He rolled his eyes as he kept walking straight ahead. When he didn’t hear her voice telling him to fuck off, like she had several times since they had been… are they fighting? He turned around to find her glaring at him, arms crossed. He sighs, the bustle of the airport terminal suddenly very loud. “What?”

“That was a dick thing to say” she pointed at him. “And you fucking know it.” Behind her anger was genuine hurt, and Marc didn’t like to see her hurt.

“I’m sorry.”

She softened, but was still on edge. “It’s fine Marc, just… if you’re coming with me, you need to try and behave, or I will not hesitate to kick you out of the shiva.” She was dead serious as she continued walking to their flight. Fuck, Marc needed coffee. He turned to the Starbucks and got in line with Rebecca.

“I know you will, baby” He smirked a bit. “You might be the most terrifying girl I’ve dated.”

“Am I really scarier than Layla?” She asked, smiling at him, then ordering for both of them.

“Hm” he pretended to think it over. “You both have crazy eyes, let's call it a tie”

Marc Elias Spector had been in a lot of situations in his life. Recently, meaning last week, he had agreed to being the avatar for an Egyptian god, because it was slightly better than death. Slightly. But as he sat in Rebecca’s living room with her and her fiance, he wondered if it was too late to choose the other alternative. 

Jack didn’t like him. That was okay, he didn’t like Jack. He seemed arrogant, smug, harsh. But the worst part is, Rebecca was nervous. When was the last time he saw Becca nervous? She wasn��t even nervous around her dad. But she was nervous around Jack. She got him food and whiskey and whatever he wanted, and Marc couldn’t quite put his finger on how this felt wrong to him. Rebecca was a caretaker, she took care of Asa, she took care of Marc, and she even took care of her dad in the early years. But this… this felt like serving. This felt like watching Rebecca waitress as he waited for her shift to end.

“So Marc,” Jack starts “Becky tells me you work in Cairo, helping with expeditions?” So that's what she told him. Marc eased a bit, a swell of pride in his chest. Marc and Rebecca didn’t have secrets. Jack and her did.

“Yeah” He nods along with her lie seamlessly. “For now anyway. I tend to go where life takes me”

“Is that why you’re here? Work is too unstable, you need somewhere to crash?” It wasn’t so much what Jack said, but how he said it. He was condescending. Pretty rich boy who had everything laid out for him, felt superior to Marc. Did he know Rebecca’s struggles with housing? Did he make her feel bad for it? Or did she keep that part of her life from him? Was she ashamed of her time homeless, or was she ashamed of Marc?”

Marc felt himself flaring with anger, but he looked at Becca, sitting so far away on the other side of the couch. She could feel the tension. For her, he’d play nice. “Nope” He smiled as best he could. “Just wanted to be here for the wedding” he lied through his teeth.

“I bet you do” Jack smiled. Marc smiled. Becca smiled. Marc swore he saw her mouth ‘fuck’

Silence persisted.

Being in Chicago was not one of Marc’s favorite places to be, but it wasn’t one of the worst. Chicago is a major city, the various bullshit odd jobs he worked would bring him there from time to time, and he got used to being in the vicinity, seeing old sights and the familiar culture. This would be slightly more difficult, as Rebecca’s family was in the same neighborhood as his, but as long as he avoided the surrounding streets to his house, he’d be okay. Rebecca would never ask him to enter that area. She didn’t even ask him to come, honestly. Marc was already going to go, of course, but when he found out Jack was attending the services, he wasn’t going to leave Rebecca alone for a second

This had been… tense, the last few days. There had been times the last two months that they bickered, even fought, but it wasn’t bad. She was hurting, she was suffering. She always apologized, even when she didn’t really need to. That was a byproduct of Jack too. Rebecca was proud, always admitting when she was wong, but never when she wasn’t. Marc allowed her to apologize, picking his battles. She was starting to look more like herself again; color coming back in her face, the chemicals fading out of her hair, allowing it to curl again. She even cut it off again and dyed it closer to her natural color again. She was also acting more like herself, the bickering was evidence of that. But the last few days were different. Marc found himself with a bunch of feelings he couldn’t really discern, an anger in him he didn’t feel comfortable with, an anger that seemed to center around her, and he couldn’t place why. 

So he had been distancing himself, not wanting to take his anger out of her in any way, allowing Steven to take the body a majority of the time. Rebecca noticed, but didn’t say anything. He assumed she figured it had to do with going back to Chicago, but there was something else.

When they arrived at Rebecca’s childhood home, he felt the nervousness he often did in their childhood while standing at this very doorstep. Some things never change. 

“Marc.” Carl was standing in the doorway. Maybe it’s the memory being distorted by the haze of the past, or maybe he really was towering over Marc. Carl was always tall, that’s where Becca got it. By the end of puberty, Rebecca was an inch taller than Marc, sanding at 5’10. Marc was always on the shorter side, but at 14 he had barely started his growth spurt. Embarrassingly, people thought Rebecca was his older sister in more than one situation. Right now, Marc wished he was taller, stronger, braver. He wanted to fight for her, stand up to her dad, stand up to his mom… but right now, they were both pretty helpless. The most they could do was be there for each other, and protect each other in school. Rebecca’s grades were significantly better, she helped Marc with school so he could avoid getting whipped when grades came in. Likewise, although they never told people they were dating, Marc’s protective grasp on her shoulders out in public and the way they were attached at the hip generally kept her safe from men at school. At 14, he wasn’t exactly the strongest in the high school, but he had absolutely thrown punches for her before. And for other reasons. And for no reason. Point being, although he wasn’t strong, he was known for being a bit crazy. Psycho was thrown around a lot.

“Hello, Mr. Levi” Marc tried his best to be polite. He had seen what Carl had done to Rebecca, and always tried to avoid that, although he suspected he wouldn’t dare, considering his dad's position in the temple. Marc had always told Rebecca he’d talk to his dad for her, get Rebecca and Asa help, but Rebecca had the martyr complex of a catholic. She rationed that Carl only hurt her, not Asa, and being sent to foster care would absolutely hurt him. It wasn’t Marc’s place to make that choice for her, so he minded his business. “Is Becca home?”

Carl looked at him for a moment, considering the boy. “Yeah, she’s in her room, but I think we should have a talk first.” The tone he used was strangely calm, the tone Wendy used before she hurt Marc, it sent a shiver down his spine, but he was in no position to argue, stepping inside the hallway at Carl’s motioning. “What’s going on with you guys.”

Marc had wondered how long until this conversation happened. Elias and Wendy both teased Marc about her, one more gently than the other, but neither malicious. Wendy mostly referred to her as Marc’s “little girlfriend” on good days, or “That Levi girl” on bad ones. His dad hadn’t exactly given him “the sex talk”, school’s lackluster sex ed had covered most of what Marc knew. Not having friends that weren’t Rebecca really cut into his knowledge on the subject, and his dad certainly didn’t have any hidden porno mags to find, so the barebones basics of public education had to due on the mechanical end. What Elias did give him was a very basic, but very straightforward (and very humiliating) talk on consent. Of course, that wasn’t the word he used, but that was the theme of one of the few talks his dad had given him in regards to being a man, and it had happened after Elias asked what his relationship with Rebecca was last year. With a blushing Marc desperately trying to escape the conversation, insisting they were just friends, Elias told him all that he really needed to know about sex. Make sure sh’s comfortable, make sure she actually wants it. Don’t force, don’t beg, don’t bargain for it. Make sure she’s enjoying herself, and stop if she’s not. Years latter, although Marc could write a book on his dads mistakes, he would always respect his dad for not giving the simple “don’t do it”. Marc had barely ever thought about kids, Layla didn’t want them, and he wasn’t really sure he could do it right, but he knew if he ever did, this was one talk he’d pass down to his son. 

He had a feeling this is not where Carl was going.

Asa opened the door. “Hey Becca” He greeted his sister with a warm hug, and it seemed like the grief may have swept away some tension, at least for now. “Marc” he extended a hand, which Marc shook. “Thanks for coming, it’s nice to see you again.” He sounded sincere, at least.

“You too Asa. I’m sorry for your loss”

Asa smirked, and looked a little more like the preteen Marc knew way back. “No, you’re not, but it’s fine, please, come in.”

Rebecca went right to work with the groceries that were delivered, prepping for the gathering after the funeral. People from the temple would probably drop by, offer condolences, and maybe stop to chat to see what the gossip was on Asa and Rebecca’s lives, but no one really liked Carl, and their family wasn’t that big. Marc could tell she was nervous. Jack was literally only going to be there to piss torment Rebecca and piss off Marc. Men like Jack usually separated their partners from their family, Jack’s method was a bit different. Jack was big on portraying perfection, abusive families and sibling tensions wouldn’t do. Rebecca was forced back into a relationship with her dad and brother. She wasn’t upset about seeing Asa, she counted that as a blessing, but Jack was in total control, stepping into the role Marc occupied before, hence Asa taking Jack’s side in the divorce. They still played video games online regularly, despite not talking to Rebecca since she left, until he called to let her know their dad had a heart attack.

Services went as expected, a jewish funeral despite Carl’s lack of participation in the faith. When he felt Rebecca’s hand squeeze Marc’s hard, he knew that meant she spotted Jack. She remained strong, always so strong, his pillar, his rock. He would be that for her.

Marc didn’t leave her side for a second. She spent most of her time in the kitchen prepping and plating and cooking, not exactly eager to be in the room with her family who all just adored Jack. He watched her angrily cut a cucumber with the aggression of a butcher. “You doing okay Beccs? We can-”

She slammed the knife on the cutting board, and Marc was thankful she couldn’t see him startle. “Marc Spector, suggest we leave again and I’m kicking you out.” She stared at the wall ahead of her. 

“Beccs-”

She turned to him. “Don’t ‘Beccs’ me, Marc, you don’t want to be here, so just go, go back to the hotel, or go back to New York, I don’t fucking care, I’ll deal with this myself.”

He groaned. “Of course I don’t want to be here Rebecca! Nothing good happened her, not in this house, not in this city, nothing, being here brings back bad memories I try my damnest to forget, and I don’t understand why you insist on being here!”

“He’s my dad”

Marc threw up his hands. “I get it, Rebecca! I get it, you’re morally superior to me, you go to your dads funeral, you forgive him after everything he did to you, you forgive Jack, again and again, you’re better than me, I get it”

Marc… mate…

Rebecca stared at him, and Marc braced for a fight, for her to yell at him and for them to bicker like they had been, but instead her face just softened. “Is that why you’ve been so upset this week?”

“Yes” He practically whined out, feeling relief at being able to pinpoint the source of his anger. 

“Honey…” She took his hand. “I’m not blaming you for not going to your mom's shiva… I don’t think I’m better than you. Our lives were very, very different, your relationship with Wendy was very different. You hadn’t even talked to her for, what? A decade? You did what you could, and I don’t blame you for the choices you made. My dad and I… things were more complicated, there was good and bad”

Marc closed his eyes, shaking his head. “There was good with us to, it’s just… it’s hard to separate it from the rest”

Rebecca wrapped her hands around his waist, drawing the man she loved in for a hug, relieved to know where the tension that had surrounded them came from. “Marc, honey, I know. These things will always be complicated. We have to deal with them in our own way. For me, this is closure. Laying it all to rest. For you, it would be letting her win.” She kissed his forehead softly. “I’m so proud of you, I’ve always been so fucking proud of you. You’ve come so far, despite everything, and you’ve done so much of it alone.”

He shook his head as he nestled into her neck, smelling her. “No, not alone. I had you, I had Layla, I had Steven, even if he didn’t know it.”

“Baby, you shouldered so much alone, don’t mitigate how far you’ve come, how strong you are, I’m so, so proud”

They stayed like that for a moment, so lost in the embrace that they didn’t notice anyone enter the room. 

“I expected as much”

Jack

Marc felt felt her rip on his tighten, and he turned her away from where the voice was, putting his body between them.

“What. Is. Going on with you guys?” Carl repeated, when Marc was too scared to answer.

“Nothing sir” He managed to get out, trying not to shake, trying to stand tall and brave.

“You guys aren’t fucking?” 

Looking back, Marc couldn’t fathom every saying that to a 14 year old his daughter was friends with, but Carl had no tact.

“No sir, we’re friends”

Carl laughed at that, putting a hand on Marc’s shoulder. “That’s what they always say”

Wincing at the touch, he put his brave face back on, refusing to back down. “We’re not-ah!” Carl’s grip on his shoulder squeezed down painfully tight, digging into his skill, and all Marc’s mustered bravado dissipated.

“I honestly don’t care, but I ain’t raising another kid”

If Marc was less terrified, he’d laugh at that. Becca raised herself and Asa.

Carl continued. “You get her pregnant, I will kill both of you.” He shoved Marc into a side table, causing Marc to fall down into it, the commission drawing Becca out of her room at the end of the hall.

When she saw Marc on the floor, she quickly ran to him, but was stopped when her dad clamped a hand over her mouth, shoving her against the wall. “I’ll tell you what I told your little boyfriend. You can be a whore all you want, but you get knocked up, you’re both dead. Understood?”

Unable to speak with the hand over her, she simply glared at him, unwilling to give in.

His hold on her face began bruising, making Rebecca yelp. “Is that clear? Or do I have to ask Marc?” 

She glanced over to where Marc was frozen on the floor. She didn’t want him hurt. Rebecca swallowed her pride and nodded. Carl let go, and walked away, mumbling obscenities about Rebecca she didn’t even hear, she was quickly at Marc’s side. “C’mon, let’s go to the library, start on that paper”

“I’m sorry” He muttered as he stood up, shaking from the interaction. 

She helped him stand. “For what?”

“For no stopping him, I wanted to… but I just… I froze” Marc looked down, embarrassed, his masculinity already at a low point, this did not help.

“Marc” She steadied him, forcing him to look her in the eye. “It is not your job to protect me. I can handle myself”

“I know”

But Marc felt like it was his job to protect her, ever since that first act of kindness she shared with him, and he continued to feel that way for the next 2 decades together. As they exited the house, Marc heard steps and turned around, catching Asa watching them leave with a look in his eyes Marc couldn’t read.

Jack was munching on a latke. “Good stuff. You always did like your food.” He punctuated the comment with a glance to her stomach.

Rebecca held Marc back by his shirt. “Jack, let’s not do this”

Asa entered the room. “Do what?” He frowned at Marc, who was clearly postering, gearing up for a fight.

Jack answered. “Rebecca is holding Marc back from fighting me” It wasn’t a lie, but a bit dramatic.

Asa scrubbed his face with his hands. “Fucking hell you two, this is why I didn’t want you to come. It’s always dramatics with you two!”

Marc scoffed. “Dramatics? Asa, you invited your sister's ex-husband-”

“We’re still married,” Jack reminded them.

Marc ignored him. “To your dad shiva, that’s insane! Do you have any idea what he did to her?”

Asa crossed his arms. “I know all about the divorce, Spector, that’s half the reason dad had the heart attack!”

“You’re blaming me for that?”

“YES!” Asa shouted. “It’s always you Marc! Ever since I can remember you’ve caused her problems! Jesus, the amount of time he kicked her stomach because he thought you knocked her up-”

Marc didn’t know that, but when he turned to Rebecca, the guilty look on her face confirmed she had never intended on him finding out.

Jack was smirking, allowing the scene to play out.

Asa continued. “All this time, you constantly fucked her life up, constantly got in the way of things, leading her on, then she finally moves on from you, gets married, and you can’t even let her have that?”

Marc felt like he could burst out of his skin. The suit he had rented was stiff and uncomfortable, the church was way too much. Too hot, too noisy, to crowded. Everything was happening at once. Were christian churches always like this?  He picked at a scab on his arm, cracked his knuckles, and tore at his nails, trying to find something for his fingers to do to calm him, but Christ, when was this supposed to start? He checked his watch. 10 minuets ago. He supposed it was normal for weddings to start late, all the girls needing their hair and make up done, the guys running off to grab one thing or another, everyone probably drunk by this point. Did baptists drink? Yeah, yeah, they did, it was in the services. Wait, no, that was the catholics. Were baptists the ones that did the speaking in tongues? Or was that pentecostals? Or Calvinists? No, Calvinists were the ones with the really bleak outlook. Was Calvinism a religion or a philosophy? Which one was the 19 Kids and Counting people?

Marc was interrupted from his strange thought process by a hand on his shoulder. “Marc?”

It was Asa, all dressed up for his role as a groomsman. Damn, he hadn’t seen the kid in a long time, he really grew up. 

“Hey man” Marc stood up, shaking the hand of the boy he had thought of as a little brother for much of his early life, but who had become a stranger. “Good to see you.”

He nodded, not impressed. “She’s asking for you”

“Who?”

“Who the fuck else do you know here?”

Rude, but the point was made. 

Marc frowned. “Why?”

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Asa practically dragged Marc out of the pew. “I don’t know, but she won’t walk until you talk to her”

Asa dragged him to the door to where Rebecca was, through a sea of bridesmaids and a wedding party he didn’t recognize a face of. Must all be Jack’s friends. 

Marc went to open the door, but Asa stopped him. “Marc, listen. I know we haven't gotten along the last few years, but I need you to do this for me” he was serious, earnest, but Marc was wary, nodding for Asa to continue with his request. “Let her have this” He must have seen the confusion in Marc’s face. “Whatever it is you two have had, it needs to end. At least in the form it’s been in. She cannot keep waiting for you to pop in and out of her life. She needs a new start, and this is it. Jack is good for her, keeps her focused, takes care of her. She has a good life with him. I don’t know what she needs you for but.” Asa closed his eyes and sighed before opening them. “But don’t get in the way of her happiness, Spector. Please, man to man” There was a pleading look in Asa’s eyes.

Marc wondered if Asa was right, had Marc gotten in the way of Rebecca’s life? ‘Whatever it is you two have had’ what did Asa think they had? Did Rebecca say something? Did she have the same feelings Marc felt?

Asa took his hand off the handle, and Marc entered the room. Rebecca was pacing the floor, turning when she heard it open.

Marc watched Asa’s face for a while. The little boy he had helped raise had changed a lot over the years, for better or for worse, but even after everything, even after all the fights he had witnessed Becca get in over the years, he cared deeply for his sister, his mind had just been skewed and manipulated by their dad and Jack, not unlike Rebecca. Marc was about to let him have this, to back down like Becca’s touch requested of him, when she spoke.

“You think Marc is the reason all this happened?”

All three men turned to her.

“Marc has done nothing but try to protect me since he was 9 years old, Asa. You are too young to remember a time before him, but dad was always like that! And Jack? Jack and I aren’t getting a divorce because of Marc, we’re getting a divorce because he beat the shit out of me!”

Asa’s brow furrowed in confusion, glancing at Jack with suspicion.

“This” She motioned to the pink scar on her face. “I didn’t trip and spill coffee, Jack threw tea at me!”

Marc watched as Rebecca laid it open for Asa, finally letting her brother in on the secrets she’d been keeping. 

Jack tried to deny it, but she talked over him, only booking at her brother as she stepped forward. “Dad attempted to make me miscarry an imaginary baby, but he,” she pointed at Jack “He purposely got me pregnant, which I did not agree too, and then beat me so bad I bruised my rips and actually miscarried.”

Asa believed her, turning to Jack. “What the actual fuck man?”

Jack stayed cool, calm, attempting to talk his way out of it. “I didn’t do shit, c’mon Asa, you know me.”

Asa looked to Rebecca.

She looked at him gently, eyes filled with a sadness he rarely saw in her. “Asa, I wouldn’t lie to you, not about this”

Asa wanted to believe Jack. It was easier to believe Jack, to believe their dad, to hate Marc and blame him for Rebecca’s choices, but when he looked at them… All he could see was the ever-honest, painfully honest face of the woman who raised him, and the friend who had been there when his dad wasn’t. “Jack, get the fuck out.”

“Asa-”

“GET OUT!” Asa shouted, placing himself between Jack and his sister.

Jack turned to Rebecca “This isn’t over, I’m dragging this divorce out as long as possible, and I’ll bleed you dry while doing it”

Marc stepped back up. “Leave without making a scene, or I swear to god-”

Jack turned to Marc “I will fucking kill you” Before leaving.

Asa started to go after him for that threat, but Marc caught his shoulder. Asa turned quickly into Marc, taking him in an embrace. “I’m sorry” he muttered, apologizing for the last 20 years of near-silence and anger

Rebecca joined their hug. “Oh Ace, it’s okay”

Marc held him in a hug, relieved to have both the people he grew up with in his arms, safe, out of Jack and Carl’s grasp.

“Becc, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know” She pulled back, brushing a dark curl that wasn’t unlike Marc’s out of his face. “Let’s get through day one of the shiva, we can talk more after people leave, okay?”

Feeling more like a baby brother than he had in years, Asa nodded.

She was stunning, something straight out of a wedding magazine. Extensions in her hair that was half up, the rest in loose curls that cascaded from a tiara. The dress had to be designer, an a-line off the shoulder, low neckline and floral and lace detailing, something she looked beautiful in, but so distinctly not her.

Her face lit up when she saw him. ‘Marc! HI!” She stayed away from him, instead of rushing to take his hand like she used to. Marc supposed this was more appropriate, seeing as she was always married.

“Hey, metukah, what’s going on?”

She wrung her hand nervously.  Since when was her nervous? “I’m just… just anxious, thats all. Big day” A slight chuckle. She was hiding something.

“Are you… are you having second thoughts?”

Her face faltered. “Well, not exactly… just… thoughts in general…”

He paused. This could be it. He could tell her. Two decades after meeting, 15 or so years after they gave their bodies to each other that night, he could do it. He could tell her loved her. He could take her away. “Becca.. Do you want to go?”

She hesitated. “I… I don’t know…”

“Is something wrong with him? Did Jack do anything?” 

Rebecca shook her head. She wasn’t lying. He knew when she was lying, which was rare. “I’m just nervous”

“Why did you want to talk to me?” Give me something, he thought something that says you love me.

“You’re my best friend”

Was he? They had spoken less and less since she started seeing Jack… 

He could tell her. He should tell her.

I love you I love you I love you

Are you sure you want her in this right now?

A chill ran through Marc’s spin with that ever more familiar voice in his head, he didn't dare look to the side. He knew who was standing there, a grim reminder of who he had become. 

Marc didn’t have a stable job, a steady incoming, consistent housing. 

He was the avatar for a god

He was a killer

He couldn’t provide anything for her. He never had been able to give her what she deserves, what Jack can. With Jack, she’ll never have to worry about living on the streets or when she’s going to eat. Jack’s never killed.

Marc thought through the faces of everyone he killed, every death he was responsible for.

She deserved better than what he could offer her.

“Rebecca, honey, it’s just jitters, that’s all” It killed him to say it. “He’ll take care of you, you’ll be happy.” Marc had to fight back the anger at himself, the frustration he felt, the tears of helplessness. This wasn’t his life. He couldn’t give her anything. This was the life she deserved. Pretty things, safety, security. He approached her, taking both her hands in his. “Rebecca, you make a beautiful bride”

She nodded, taking in the sight of him, and for a moment he could almost imagine he was at the alter with her, that it was him she was marrying… he let go on her hands before the fantasy took over. 

When the night ended and guests left, Marc, Becca and Asa sat in the living room like they had done countless times throughout the years, catching up, reminiscing, hashing over old beefs and memories. Marc sensed a change, a change for the better.

They were a family again.

***************

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[lollytea]

I always find it hilarious when I read Huntlow fics that are like, "Oh, Amity doesn't like Hunter and tried to protect Willow from him but she's wrong" because I feel like they'd be siblings too but less energetically. Like, out of all of them, Amity's had a similar experience with shitty parental figures, I just feel like she'd be more concerned with getting this boy some therapy or some shit instead of being scared for Willow

OH!! I've been wanting to babble about my thoughts on Hunter and Amity's relationship and their potential. Yes, you're right. You're very right.

Okay so disclaimer. I know I've made a few jokes about this idea of Hunter and Amity not liking each other (it IS funny. I cannot deny that its funny.) but honestly, that whole idea being a joke is where it stops. Realistically this has never been how I've seen their relationship progressing because to me, it just feels out of character for both of them.

I dont really think their relationship is anything like siblings (Though their dads are currently left unsupervised so who knows the kind of shocking revelations they'll come home to.) But I believe they have the potential to have a very special bond.

Hunter and Amity are both abuse victims and I think a friendship between the two would be extremely therapeutic for both of them. They would find solace in connecting over their upbringing and relating over similar experiences as the other is really the only other person who understands. And seeing as they've both been severely mistreated and know how it feels, maybe their relationship with each other should not be built on antagonism but warmth and support.

And like I've thought about them possibly being friends who are just mean to each other in a playful way but I don't really think that fits either, at least not for Amity. I don't think she likes vitriolic friendships very much. She's already been the mean girl but she hated that version of herself. Being mean seems to be exhausting for Amity. Like she wants to be nice. I believe that she wants nothing more than to be sweet and kind to the people she cares about from now on. The playfully hostile kind of friendship just doesn't seem like her style.

Also Hunter notably likes Amity. I know that he was a bit of an asshole in Eclipse Lake but I honestly always interpreted his opinion of her as one of respect. He mocked Eda and King but was pretty benign when it came to her, even when Amity didn't like him at all. He recognised that they had a lot in common, he empathised with her, he tried to give her relationship advice (godawful relationship advice but still) and was even nice enough to offer to dig her a grave :D!! And even after she nearly fucking killed him, Hunter didn't take it personally or express any anger over it because he understood and accepted why she was doing it and he sincerely thanked her for co-operating at the end. Like at this point in the series Hunter's view on positive relationships is completely backwards so yes, he and Amity were dysfunctional at best, but he did take a liking to her in his own weird fucked up way.

Another thing some people believe is that Amity would hold a grudge against Hunter because of his actions in Eclipse Lake but like. I don't really think so? I think it would be a very easy thing for her to comprehend and forgive him for. She would understand the pressure he was under, she would understand that the fear of your parents can spur you into doing awful things. She would understand how unthinkable the consequences could be. Like Amity herself had also done things she regrets because of her parents. She broke off her friendship with Willow and she allowed her friends to be expelled because she was so deathly scared of her mother. And though during Eclipse Lake, Amity no longer fears her parents, I don't think she would blame Hunter for not being in the same emotional place as her, seeing as she KNOWS what a difficult journey it was for her to get there. This is evident in how she reaches out to him, acknowleding that he's not there yet but willing to help him along so he can find his own self acceptance just like she did.

I feel like she was absolutely one of the students who mistrusted him during the Healing Homeroom scene in Labyrinth Runners but it wouldn't have been personal, but rather from a logical standpoint and looking out for ones own. He might be sympathetic in his own way but he was still on the opposite side, he still threatened her girlfriend’s life and Amity had friends to look after.

But yknow after he explained himself and Willow vouched for him and he saved Gus, they're fine. I'm pretty sure the two of them are solid. Maybe not best friends as they haven't really had many opportunities to talk but I wouldn't say they really dislike eachother.

[navree]

I remember one of your answers you said that the most similar characters to Aegon are Tyrion,Theon,and Aeron why these three specifically ? I'm curious

So for those who don't remember that, this was specifically about who I would compare show!Aegon to in response to all those people who were like "omg new Joffrey" even tho he's not like Joffrey at all (there's an ask about that somewhere but I can't locate it at the moment), and I do believe I said that show!Aegon reads more to me as an amalgamation of Tyrion, Theon, and Aeron.

All three of them share a common trait in that they have used or still do use debauchery as a coping mechanism for deep internal wounds. Tyrion drinks way too much and frequents sex workers because of the ableism he's endured all his life and the abuse he's suffered at the hands of his family, Theon is vain and unserious and cocky to make up for his feelings of otherness and displacement due to being a hostage at Winterfell, Aeron very likely was using drinking and whoring and playing around to try and deal with the lasting trauma from being a victim of sexual abuse, and Aegon, as I've mentioned numerous times, is clearly a wastrel who hardcore abuses susbtances to deal with the fact that he feels not only unloved but genuinely unlovable. Each of them developed unhealthy and negative coping mechanisms to deal with feeling pained deep inside in ways that they feel cannot be alleviated, only medicated and steadfastly ignored, and this has negatively impacted how they're viewed by others, including by members of their own families, which only compounds the feelings of isolation that they all deal with (Tyrion again due to being the undesired dwarf son, Theon due to being sent away, Aeron due to just having consciously separated himself and devoted himself to the Drowned God, Aegon due to being seen as a disappointment by his mother and his siblings in spite of their love for him).

Complicated relationships with their families is something that they all share, though to varying degrees of toxicity. Tyrion and Aeron have it worse, since Tyrion was put down and viciously abused by his father and his sister, and by Jaime due to his complicity in the Tysha debacle, and Aeron not only doesn't appear to have been close to any of his brothers (with the exception of traumabonding with Urri, who he harbors a lot of guilt for "killing" before his conversion) but was also serially molested by one of them, which has had a longlasting impact in the form of what's clearly severely untreated PTSD. But Theon himself feels outcast from his family due to the time he spent in Winterfell and how they seem to blame him for the crime of being a hostage, and Aegon's feelings that his family doesn't love him in spite of how much he cares is just the vicious cycle of parents and children and siblings fucking each other up until he and Alicent start clearing the air with the "do you love me" exchange and trying to defend each other from Meleys. They've also got complex sibling dynamics that are all messy and not easy to untangle (Tyrion with Jaime and Cersei, Aeron and his brothers even aside from Euron being his abuser, Theon and Asha, Aegon and Aemond and Helaena but particularly Aemond, as I have ranted about substantially in the past) and that are all going to play huge parts in whatever arcs remain to them for the rest of the series.

Aegon's similarities with Aeron himself have already been more firml outlined, such as a tendency to turn to religion when dealing with bad things happening to them and a lack of personal closeness to others, and again, bad coping mechanisms. Theon and Aegon share that feeling of isolation specific to having an otherwise cohesive family unit, like the way Asha is not only so much more at home in Pyke than he is but also how much closer she is to Baelon than he is, and how she views herself as better than him (though not without reason), while Aegon clearly feels at odds with how close his mother and Aemond are, and his own feelings of inadequacy as it relates to Aemond even as he loves him and Aemond's apparent disdain for him, since we know that Aegon is willing to go to the mat for Aemond (ironically not dissimilar to the way that Asha does for Theon), though Aemond himself is willing to also go to the mat for his brother and that relationship is only going to get more codependent as the show goes on. Tyrion and Aegon also share a similarity in how their arcs are going to go, as Tyrion is clearly spiraling further and further into darkness and is likely going to be a corrupting influence on Dany before he's either pulled back or goes all the way and dies, much like how Aegon himself is going to slip slower and slower into darkness and ruthlessness, culminating in how he executes Rhaenyra and how he almost kinslays Baela, both motivated by strong feelings of loss and feeling that there's nothing left (Tyrion killed his dad and feels he lost Jaime due to the Tysha confession and not to mention his entire feelings of hopelessness about Tysha and that tragedy, while Aegon's going to lose nearly all of his family members and the near death of Baela is motivated by his grief over losing Sunfyre). And there's a minor thread in the connection to food and poison, and Tyrion wonders in ADWD if The Mushrooms are poisoned, while Aegon himself does die of poisoning (either murder or suicide).

I think all three characters share similarities with the show's interpretation of Aegon, both as a group and on their own individual merits, certainly more than fucking Joffrey.

[aronarchy]

*huge rant from an ancient post incoming* Hey, just saw your furiousgoldfish callout post. Thanks for being the only one who is criticizing her actual posts, in addition to criticizing furiousgoldfish herself being ableist/transphobic. I have always had issues with her posts and how extremely black and white she presents abuse to be. That the only reason abuse ever happens is because the abuser WANTS to be evil and hurtful and cruel. As if the generational cycle of abuse isn't an extremely well documented thing. The cycle of abuse means that many of the abused symptoms will also apply to the abuser, but no way furiousgoldfish will ever acknowledge that because that's way too complicated and she prefers only the simplest explanation of how abuse works. In her mind, ONLY people with npd/aspd/etc can be abusers, and they can NEVER be victims. But hang on, one of the basic diagnostic criteria for npd is a deep insecurity and self loathing, which, whoops, take a look at her posts! Deep insecurity and self loathing are some of their symptoms of abuse!! And personality disorders are likely caused by genetic AND environmental factors!! Uh oh! Sorry goldie! Your worldview is shit.

Her whole worldview is fed by her ableism against certain mental disorders. And she seems to think that all abuse that ever happens is gonna mirror her one specific personal experience. She says like "if you feel a, b, and c then you were abused and d, e, f, g, h, I, j, and k are also true about you, and l, m, n, o, p, q, r, and s are true about your abuser." As if the individual experience doesn't have a huge amount of variation. This is also why I (sorry, so so sorry. Please be willing to hear me out.) agree with that person who said that furiousgoldfish can make people think they were abused by their parents when they weren't. And I also agree with the opposite, that it can make people who were victims of different abuse think they weren't abused.

A lot of her posts describe abuse symptoms that are also just symptoms of an anxiety disorder. Like, the general gist of a lot of her posts is something like "if you are terrified of being in the wrong and assume that everyone will reject you, then you were abused and your parents are shit." Well, those are also symptoms of a social anxiety disorder. And for anxiety, just like for depression, you don't need a reason to have it. It can be purely genetic without being environmental. And even if it's not purely genetic, those anxieties could also be caused by peer abuse. Not parental. Peer abuse can be very extreme but furiousgoldfish's posts repeat again, and again, and again, and again, that those symptoms are due to *parents* and parental abuse alone. I don't think I've ever seen a single post from her that suggests that trauma due to peer abuse even exists. Does she know that children can be abusers? Or is that too complicated for her worldview? People with anxiety disorders can make extreme conclusions based on little evidence. It's a basic part of the diagnosis. And children are incredibly vulnerable to influence by people with authority. Imagine a child, who feels like shit but doesn't really know why. They have emotional issues and they don't know what the cause is, or who to blame. Maybe they are currently blaming themselves. Suddenly, they come across a few posts made by someone who has been given so so so much social authority on this website, telling them that their symptoms guarantee that they were abused by their parents. Anxiety and abuse can cause people to see things where they are not, and ignore them where they are. Those kids don't need that additional stress and the potential damage it could have on their normal relationship with their parents.

And for the other side of making conclusions about abuse, how many of furiousgoldfish's posts are just a random collection of symptoms that ends with "if half or more are true about you then you were abused." Like, ok. One, who the fuck made goldie the authority on this? And two, people who have less than can still be abuse victims. Furiousgoldfish is literally some random chucklefuck online, there's no reason why she should be believed when she makes a random list of symptoms, and then randomly decides a percentage of them that a person should have for their abuse to be valid. And the abusive behavior that she is talking about mostly only applies to her specific abusive situation. So people who faced different kinds of abuse, could read those posts, relate to only a quarter, and then make the conclusion that they were not abused. She is trying to help people realize abuse, but she is also helping people to ignore it.

This all goes all the way back to furiousgoldfish's constant and obsessive armchair diagnostics. It's like she has any authority at all to decide who does/doesn't have an abuse related disorder vs a similar disorder that's not abuse related. She is constantly implying a diagnosis of npd for anyone who has behaved abusively, when npd is a rare diagnosis and the VAST majority of people who abuse do not have this diagnosis. People say that furiousgoldfish's posts are a great source for abuse victims, but I have never felt that way. They are a good source for one specific abuse experience, but a horrible source for most anyone else.

Anyways, rant over lol. Sorry slap you with all of this, you're just the only person I've seen who's mentioned anything even close to this.

I disagree with most of what you said here, but I will still publish this ask for transparency.

[insidethecrypticbluemind]

ive been through so much pain in my life. Inflicted with it. Helpless to stop it.

And I’m so angry and depressed right now. How dare the world hurt me this way. I was supposed to be given kindness and love- and instead i was tortured. Broken. Made an example of. Turned into nothing.

Everyone else has such consistent happiness within them. Like they have no question that they are loveable. How fucking dare the world take that stability away from me. I was to feel safe and good all the time.

Instead i went through horrific circumstances. People stood back and said, “that kid’s going to be fucked up for life”. And instead of STOPPING it i am now fucked up for life. And those who could? Yeah.. those who SHOULD’VE helped DIDN’T. And it’s as much their fault as it is the inflictor’s fault. The pricks.

To me now it seems that almost all people have parents who love them. Families that take care of them. I hate how my life lacks that. I hate how i SHOULD’VE had that and DIDN’T.

I even feel evil right now, speaking out into the void. Their words. Telling me i am Pretending to be a victim. My pain is my own fault, i am just what is wrong. Not them. Blame blame shame and guilt on me. Not them. And this enrages me when it is so clearly twisted and manipulative.

I feel evil still. Saying out loud the fucking TRUTH. I feel like my words will genuinely hurt someone. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I know I am hurting and that this pain dies with me. No one else should ever have to feel this.

But that’s just it. MY WORDS ARE NOT HARMFUL. The guilt and gaslighting is STILL clinging to me. If I put a voice to my pain and actually say what happened, well means i’m hurting my abusers!!! Oh how DARE I hurt them by saying out loud what they fucking did to me. The liars say they want the truth. Ha.

For the void i will say it. The truth is I was robbed of a loving family. Of a happy childhood. Of kindness and love. I was not only ignored but also bullied mercilessly by people supposed to love me. And I am forced to carry this pain. I must carry this fucking horrible pain and loss. All the way to my grave. I should’ve had it better. And i didn’t.

Evil horrible people abused me.

I am a fucking victim of abuse.

I still don’t believe myself when i say that. I wasn’t abused in ways other people have- so it doesn’t count. It’s not enough abuse

But, These scars… they will last my life. They are real so anyone who says my abuse wasn’t abuse can FUCK off. (looking at you enabler family members .)

Other people had families. And love. I had a fucking posse of bullies. I was hated from the moment i could speak up. Three year old child treated like garbage.

No one else (besides other victims) carries these kinds of scars. Often i feel so alone among those who were loved.

They can live their peaceful blissful lives, happy to be loved and happy to love. I am happy for them. But the jealousy i have towards them too.. It fuels my anger at my abusers. They should’ve loved me. Treated me well. Not twisted me up and broke me and toyed and played and hit and sneered at and despised and grew disgusted with me.

World?

Void?

I am angry. And jealous. Why cant i go back and be loved? Where is the lost hours, days, of kindness? I was not shown affection.

I want to have been loved.

All i am left with is loss.

It makes me mad.

[theamberwizard]

Harmful is also ignoring where Billy's racism comes from and condemning a young teen who never had the chance to change. I hope it's ok if I remain anonymous, I grew up in a racist household and community in a small town in Europe.

Imagine I'm your parent and I spend your whole childhood frequently talking about how I hate Camry drivers. They are slow as fuck and seem to always be in the wrong lane or turn the wrong way before they go where they intended. As you grow up, you'll see a few normal Camry drivers but you'll usually not care to notice or you'll quickly forget, but the ones that are shitty will really stand out. Your brain will get all excited "see, Dad was right. Stupid Camry drivers holding us back as a society. Fuck em."

You have to be willing to unlearn it and change yourself, and admit you were wrong in the past. Not easy for everyone. It took years and years for me to even realize my opinions were racist to begin with. I started thinking with my own head. Mind you, I'm almost 30 years old.

Not your case, but seeing how quick antis are to wish death upon a teen boy who had a racist dad, to condemn him, giving him zero chances, is also harmful and very mean behavior. It hurts my feelings as well, who was in a similar situation. So obviously I wished for better writing for Billy, a better redemption. He could have changed just like I and many others have. Abuse circles are difficult to portray, I get it. But now we just have a bunch of hateful people harassing eachother over a fictional character throwing all fans in on pot.

I hope you understand.

okay first: it is always okay to remain anonymous. that's your prerogative, i respect it, and there is zero judgement from me over here.

next: your experience is valid. this does happen to a lot of people, and it's not your fault nor is it billy's fault that y'all were raised in racist households. however, it is billy's fault that he isn't making an effort to change. i understand that it's ridiculously difficult to figure this out, especially in an environment like that, but it's unfair to disregard his racism because he was raised that way. the white teenage boy in my school that called someone else the n word online was raised that way: but he still shouldn't have said that. you can't ignore the harm he caused because he too was caused harm by being given those beliefs. there are many people who are raised that way and reject it- it doesn't matter when they realize that they're wrong, or at what age they reverse their beliefs: it's the end result that matters. however, billy is never shown to go back on his beliefs about lucas.

is it horrible that billy never got a chance to say sorry? that he never got another opportunity to become a better person? yes! 100%! but that still means he never changed. for all we know, billy never felt sorry.

if billy ever gets a redemption/revival in which he realizes his actions were wrong and apologizes, and maybe even gets forgiveness from lucas, then i can and will forgive him as a character as well. until that day, i'll still stand by my original opinion about him.

i do not blame people who had the misfortune of growing up in such a bad environment. but if they stay in their ways, and never change, there is no alternative but to say they are the issue.

lastly, anon: i do not judge you for your feelings on the topic. i understand as much as i can with my experiences. using billy to say that people who grew up in that situation are to blame is harmful, and you are entirely correct in your first line, it's important to remember that billy was another victim of the cycle of abuse.

i very much appreciate your politeness (ik i haven't been polite in the past- my posts abt billy come off as aggressive bc i'm very passionate about the topic, but i promise i do my best to be polite in discourse) and your perspective on the matter

thank you for the ask.

[brugioshi]

Let’s talk about Pannacotta Fugo.

[read as Twitter thread]

I’ve talked about how I relate to him as a rich kid, poor adult. And that’s not nothing; there are few characters, and even fewer real people, that fit that demographic. But there’s so much to be said about his relatability as a victim of sexual trauma.

But first, let’s back up. Although most of us didn’t have as extreme a reaction to parental pressure as Fugo, it is incredible how deeply damaging parental ambition-by-proxy can be.

Let’s get this out of the way: attempted sexual violence is sexual violence in and of itself. Obviously. It’s traumatizing on its own. There are some people who take the opposite opinion and say things like “women can protect themselves from r-pe if they carry a gun.”

So I guess I’m obligated to point out that it’s actually not okay for people to be put into that situation to begin with.

But let’s expound on what actually happens when someone defends themselves against an assailant.

They’re put into a situation where not only have they been sexually victimized, they’ve killed another human being. You don’t walk away from that emotionally, and you don’t walk away from that legally.

Fugo is a very small child who has been forced into higher education, generally not a great way to thrive socially. He’s already isolated. Then someone comes along who is older, who has immense power over him, and who is larger in stature.

I don’t know about you, but until I was proven wrong, it even seemed like the slight young boy might be physically weaker than the assailant. It hardly matters; he was cornered. It was do or die.

It’s shocking, but not exactly surprising: when people defend themselves against r-pists, the law is often harder on them than the perpetrator. If it weren’t for his privilege, he canonically would have been incarcerated.

Fugo is also victim-blamed in a way that requires jumping through ridiculous logical hurdles. I won’t even rehash it, it’s too absurd and upsetting. You remember what people whispered when he was led away in handcuffs.

So let’s get to his stand. Other than Giorno, it would appear that the famiglia acquired their stands through Polpo’s lighter test. So Fugo has this experience behind him at the time that he acquires a stand.

I wonder if victims of sexual violence ever desire a stand that prevents their future victimization…

(Sarcasm aside, I hadn’t considered the origins of Fugo’s stand until after I wrote this.)

So what kind of person manifests a viral, flesh-eating stand that can only be survived if one stays the fuck away?

I was once bewildered by this question. Purple Haze seemed oddly ruthless for an ally’s stand. But it’s not exactly strange considering Fugo’s backstory, is it?

You see the implication. You understand why a victim of sexual violence would want exactly that kind of stand. You probably even get why they wouldn’t feel especially guilty protecting their autonomy using extremely grisly means.

But here’s something else that confused me about Fugo at first: why is he such a dick to Narancia?

For one thing, I think those of us whose parents had less than ideal methods carry some of those traits with us as we grow up. I wouldn’t be surprised if Fugo’s parents spoke to him exactly like this at one point.

But more to the point, I think that a lot of us with PTSD can relate to Fugo here. Pathological trauma is, well, pathological. It’s not reasonable. Some respond by being outright verbally abusive like Fugo.

Others simply create an aura around themselves to indicate that everyone should please stay the fuck away.

This last quality, for me personally, isn’t intrinsically tied to sexual victimization (though it sure as fuck can be for others.) We all probably judged Fugo to some extent when he didn’t join the famiglia in committing treason. I sure did, and I still do.

But if I’m being completely self-aware, I have a strong sense of self-preservation. For example: pain is our main tool in self-preservation, and I have a deep primal urge to diagnose the cause of pain and treat it as quickly as humanly possible.

When I rewatch that scene, it becomes clear that Fugo isn’t choosing to stay behind out of some kind of ideal, loyalty, or comfort with the status quo. All he talks about is his desire to not die. He is baffled that not dying isn’t the #1 priority to everyone else as well.

And even those of us who would’ve chosen differently at least relate to that on some level.

[bright-whump]

I really am just...every day thinking about how PSon gave us this character, the main character, with canon trauma and a canon anxiety disorder and canon depression and canon cPTSD and they just...don't forget that? They don't brush it off? They don't pretend it doesn't exist when plot depends on it? He is literally always showing these symptoms, in every episode. They are always mentioned and always shown in the way he acts, his facial expressions, the trembling of his hand and his lips, his eyes, his body language, and are integrated into every plot.

They do that. On purpose. For an adult man. They show how trauma affects him even at ~30 years old, that it's not something you can just "get over" or "grow out of" or "get tougher and forget" and that men can suffer, too. They show the detrimental effects gaslighting and manipulation can have on someone.

They show (much to the weird, misplaced anger of the people who've never experienced it nor ever used Google in their life or listened to an actual victim yet feel the need to run their mouths) that he still has this deep conflicted love for his main abuser, which is so fucking common especially in childhood abuse where the abuser was a parent/family member and is nearly never addressed.

He's also shown to be still angry about it. This is also so rare to acknowledge victims of trauma, especially childhood/young adult trauma, feel this despite just how COMMON it is, because society seems to insist forgiveness is necessary and the ONLY way forward. That as you get older, you'll "grow out of" how you feel about it. And that feeling anger, contempt, or not becoming the kindest gentle most pure soul who never gets angry or shows a single negative emotion and has forgiven their abusers and moved on somehow to a better life from your abuse, that if you don't literally thank your abusers for putting you through abuse because "it all made me a better person in the end" it all makes you a bad victim somehow, or that it invalidates you being one at all, or that you just need to "try harder." Which it doesn't.

And the fact that it makes some of the viewers of it so angry, so desperate to call Malcolm annoying, unlovable, a burden, worthless, the worst character, etc, because the writers refuse to not show the full impact of trauma for these whiny ableists'/victim-blamers' comfort levels, it just shows how good and seriously impactful it is.

Like as someone also with his canon, diagnosed disorders (and perhaps a few I project onto him in fic that, somehow, stay completely in character for him; he is literally the perfect character for doing so) and with childhood->adult trauma, it is literally so fucking important and good to see this representation in a way I've never seen any other show do. It's important to show him taking his medicine normally—over and over again, not just once!—and making it clear he'd be worse without them. It's important to show him going to therapy and showing that when he doesn't, it has an impact. It's important to show that even with all this he can still find love (even if Eve ended up using him, it wasn't his fault and it made that clear, that it wasn't because of anything to do with his trauma, because people with trauma can and do love, and they deserve to be loved however many times I see the ableist/blaming viewers say otherwise).

And it is so. SO. So fucking important that they have had (and continue) the plot that you do not have to end up like the people who hurt/abused you. That just because your parents were horrible does not mean you are bound and destined to become that, too. That is, in my opinion for myself, absolutely fucking on another level of importance, and is ESPECIALLY why I love it so much. Because that is a huge, extremely common fear. It seems fucking imposible to fight. To see Malcolm keep doing so (I'm leaving out any negative talk about particular writing choices in S2) is...just, with no other word I can think of and none that would explain how much I mean it, needed.

(AND I could make a WHOLE OTHER POST—AND I MIGHT!!!—about how fucking important it is to show Gil being so loving and hands-on affectionate to him?? Like, the "norm" male to male affection shown in media, even between family members, is just a slap on the back or a punch in the arm no matter what. Gil squeezes his neck, his shoulders, he hugs him, he shows care and love when Malcolm is upset and comforts him, like?? It's so fucking important that LDP decided to go that way with the character. It's SO important to get towards normalizing that.)

I just could go on??? I just

I very much love Malcolm Bright. Very much. Look at he. That's it end of post.

[wolfeyedwitch]

Why did you stay?

Drabble for "And Still". Set during Part 15. Originally I wanted to include this idea in that part, but I couldn't make it fit. So, have a separate drabble instead.

Warning for internalized victim blaming, Devin's messed-up headspace, abuse (physical and verbal), homophobic and ableist slurs.

Masterlist

--------------------------

Blaire looked at Devin with soft eyes. It made him want to squirm under their gaze, the sympathy and pity there.

So he’d been abused by his hero mentor; so what? It’s not like he was the only person to ever be abused.

He mentally reviewed that last sentence and grimaced internally. That… that wasn’t exactly a healthy headspace. Maybe Morgan and Blaire knew a therapist they could introduce him to, once all of this was done.

“Oh, sweetie,” Blaire said. “I’m so sorry you went through that.”

Morgan nodded at their spouse’s words. “That should never have happened.” They paused and grimaced before continuing, “I’m going to ask something, and I want you to know that I in no way blame you for this, alright? This was Marcus’s fault, not yours.”

“Okay,” Devin said warily. He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“Why did you stay?” Morgan asked.

There was a lump in Devin’s throat suddenly. Swallowing was difficult, and he found himself having to concentrate hard on his breathing to keep it even.

Morgan was still talking. “Like I said, I’m not blaming you for this. This is not your fault. I just— Devin, kid, this shouldn’t have happened. You know that, right? Did you not have the resources to report him? Help me understand what’s going on in your head, alright?”

Devin nodded mechanically. A burn was starting behind his eyes, a sure sign that he would have to work not to break down like a baby, stop crying over every little thing about this. He swallowed and licked his dry lips as he tried to find the right words.

“My- my parents, they- they kicked me out,” he stammered out eventually. “Th- they- they didn’t want a- a freak in their house.”

Freak, faggot, fairy, fucking retard, fucked-up brain doesn’t even work, get out of here and never let us see you again—

He shook his head. The movement made his hair fly around his head, and he managed a small smile. He had started growing it out the moment he left his parents, the moment he no longer had their strict code of what a proper young man could and couldn’t do to dictate how he looked. It helped him remember that he had made choices for himself, however small they were.

“A- and I had- had trouble, getting into Heroes League,” he said with a grimace. “All of- of the heroes that were willing to take me on were, were back-line heroes, support people, you know? And that’s, that’s not what I wanted. What I want. I want to be in the field, help- helping people.

“All the more active heroes, the field heroes, the ones that I- I wanted to be like? They- they either already h- had sidekicks, or, or they weren’t willing to take me. Marcus- Marcus was the only one who would be my mentor. I, I think he got pressured into it? He didn’t really, didn’t really want to.”

He swallowed hard, forcing down his tears. He hated how much he was stuttering, but he could only control so much at a time. He’d rather be stuttering in front of near-strangers than crying in front of near-strangers.

“Sweetie, you don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to,” Blaire said gently.

Devin shook his head. He had said this much; he might as well keep going. “So, so it was my only option, really. If- if I told, then I would be- be taken away from Marcus, sure, but- but that would ta- take away my chance of being a, a, a hero, too.”

He remembered another factor in his decision and scoffed. “Any- anyway, it’s not, not like they would have believed me.”

Morgan frowned. “Why not?”

Devin bit his cheek as he thought how to phrase it. The stereotypes were so ingrained in hero society that it seemed ridiculous to have to explain them. “Um. Powers have, have different categories, right?”

The civilians both nodded.

“Like how Lyn is an elemental-based hero,” Blaire said.

Devin smiled gratefully at them. “R- right. So, so different categories sort of, sort of have different… reputations? Among heroes. Elementals are your, your powerhouses, usually. And there’s different views on different elements: air is flighty, water is even-tempered, earth is steady, fire is quick to anger. Stuff like that.”

“Certainly seems accurate for Marcus,” Morgan muttered.

Devin shrugged. “I- I don’t think it’s really accurate a- all of the time? But, but sometimes, sure. Um. Anway. I’m a, a mimic. And mimics, camouflage and evasion powers, they have a, a, a reputation for being… being flighty, I guess. Untrustworthy. Good for lying and hiding and not much else.”

“That’s—” Blaire started, but Devin cut them off. If he didn’t keep going, he wouldn’t be able to explain this.

“It, it is what it is,” Devin said. “And, and Marcus made sure that- that he played up the stereotype, when he- when he talked about me. So, so they would have a, a reason to doubt whatever I said, I guess.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Blaire said softly.

Devin shook his head. If he looked at them, he would break down and not be able to finish. “A- and, and there’s this,” he said, holding out his arm and pushing up the sleeve.

His arm was liberally covered in bruises and burns. Morgan and Blaire both hissed in sympathy at the sight. Devin ignored that; that wasn’t what he was trying to show them. He focused and called up his powers.

Slowly, the mottled skin faded away, replaced by a smooth, unblemished tan. He held the camouflage, turning his arm over so they could see how he could hide his injuries.

“That’s quite impressive,” Morgan said, eyebrows raised. “May I?” They gestured at his arm.

“S- sure, I guess,” Devin said.

Morgan took his hand gently in theirs. They turned Devin’s arm slightly, getting a closer look at where the bruises were hidden.

“Amazing,” they said.

“But the injuries are still there, though,” Blaire said with a frown. “You didn’t heal them, you just hid them, right?”

“R- right,” Devin said. “And, and I can go the other way, too. It’s harder, but I can make it look like I have injuries that aren’t really there.”

He let the camouflage drop, showing the scars and bruises once more. He shrugged, uncomfortable with the attention on him.

“So. You, you wanted to know. That’s why I stayed.”

@heathenville @nonbinary-disaster @kim-poce @whump-world @dolls-circus @pickleking8

[mha-whore]

I love Natsuo and I wanna talk about him. First of all I love the tension Natsuo brings to the Todoroki family dynamic. He’s not ready to forgive like Fuyumi and while all the children have their own perspective regarding Endeavor Natsuo’s has always felt the most familiar to me.

Neglect as a form of abuse often gets overlooked. The psychological damage endured by children who are victims of neglect similar to the way Natsuo experienced leaves some pretty serious emotional scars. Verbalizing why being ignored hurt just as much as being hit was difficult for me. Some parents can’t fathom that there is a way to abuse someone that isn’t just physical they often justify what happened to their children with the excuse they would never hit their child. However neglect as a form of abuse is just as detrimental as other forms of abuse. I think being neglected especially in favor of another child really fucks with a persons sense of self-worth.

And we definitely see that with Natsuo. While no one in the family really blames Shoto for being the golden child it’s clear that the favoritism shown towards him was palpable. Even though we see that Endeavors attention leads to further abuse children still do want to be seen by their parents. Which is something Natsuo never received. Unlike Toya and Shoto he had no fire quirk and he wasn’t a girl like Fuyumi he didn’t fill the role of mother when Rei was hospitalized. He was born too late to be the oldest brother and to early to be the favorite. Natsuo exists as a background character not just for the plot of MHA but within his own family. The resentment this has caused is undeniable.

We already know how much Toya(dabi) resents his father.  but that mindset clearly extends to the other children as well. Even Fuyumi admits that she has complicated feelings about Enji while simultaneously being the main person trying to reconnect the family. So it makes sense that Natsuo The child who was discarded from the beginning would harbor the greatest resentment towards his father. And although we see the lengths Toya is willing to go to just to get back at Endeavor it’s always (in my opinion) Felt like Natsuo had the most reason to be mad. Suffering is not a game I wanna make that clear it’s not about who suffers the most or who has the best reason to suffer. However I want to be pragmatic and look at how Natsuo didn’t even get a chance to feel important. Remember Toya is the oldest sibling and apparently one of the only ones to be born out of love Enji and Rei had a quirk marriage but it’s implied that in the beginning there was some love between the two of them. When he’s born with a fire quirk that’s even stronger than Endeavors Enji is happy and proud. It isn’t until we see Toya’s quirk start burning him that he is regarded as defective. Fuyumi is one year younger than Toya so it can be assumed that at the time of her birth Toya’s quirk hadn’t even developed. So these two were born in a time of relative happiness for the Todoroki family. Natsuo is 4 years younger than Fuyumi meaning that it’s likely Endeavor started waiting for his kids quirks to present and this is where the anger and dissatisfaction in his offspring begun. See given the time between children it seems like Enji waited for Fuyumi and Toyas quirks to develop and he was disappointed. He deems them failures and starts trying for another baby hoping the next one will be right. This is already a completely different environment That Natsuo is being born and raised in compared to his older siblings.

Imagine Endeavors disappointment upon finding that not only is this baby not perfect he has no fire power at all. This also happened with Fuyumi but again at the time of her birth the family dynamic wasn’t as toxic. So she had around 3-4 years of relative happiness within the family. Once Natsuo is born not only is the family beginning to crack but he is born “wrong” with no fire. Three years later Shoto is born and he’s born perfect. He’s the exact child Endeavor wanted juxtaposing Natsuo’s “failure” to exist the way his father wanted.  

Then after being discarded Natsuo is actively neglected. There’s forced isolation between Shoto and his siblings, then Rei is hospitalized, and then Toya dies. Slowly but surely Natsuo loses all of his support within the family. Fuyumi has to draw back out of necessity suddenly finding herself in the role of a mother instead of a child. His older brother is dead and his mother is gone and she’s not coming back. Natsuo is left alone his sister doesn’t have time for him, his father doesn’t love him, and his brother can’t see him. Natsuo was completely alone in that house. It makes sense that this would give him ample opportunity to allow resentment to fester.

Endeavor is one of my favorite characters not because I like him as a person but because I like the story and how he affects others. I would love for Natsuo to display a lesser seen dynamic in redemption arc’s, that being the idea that you don’t always have to forgive people. Sometimes there’s this over arching narrative that when someone apologizes and they truly feel sorry for what they did you have to forgive them.  there’s never any focus on how their actions have lasting consequences on the people around them. Natsuo was born into this family he was born into ridiculous expectations of him. Endeavor created him to surpass All Might something that Endeavor himself failed to do. This is a huge burden he’s placed onto a child and when Natsuo failed to meet this impossible standard his father discarded him. Endeavor saw no use in Natsuo because he would never be able to beat All Might on his fathers terms. Endeavor set an impossible goal and neglected his son when he was unable to reach that goal. A goal so unattainable he couldn’t even do it.

And Natsuo doesn’t have to forgive him. We’re currently watching Endeavor try to be a better father. Not just to Shoto but to all his children. Fuyumi wants this to work Shoto is warming up to the idea but Natsuo isn’t. I don’t think the narrative paints him as a bad guy for being unwilling to compromise however it does present Natsuo’s feelings as another obstacle to overcome. I would love to see what would happen if Natsuo just didn’t forgive him. Endeavor is trying in all honesty but that doesn’t change what happened. It’s not going to bring Toya back to life or instantly fix Rei.

I would like to see Enji try to mend his relationship with Natsuo and I would like to see those attempts fail. Maybe not permanently but I don’t want them to hand wave away the abuse suffered by every member of the Todoroki family. Especially Natsuo I think the way Natsuo feels has never mattered and now in the focus. Natsuo’s feelings can no longer be ignored and I’m ready to watch Enji Face the consequences of his own actions.

 



[piracytheorist]

Since the first thing that strikes me about re8, story-wise, is that it seems to be all over the place? Again, I’ve no idea how it ties to previous games but it feels like this parental/mother-child theme is just hanging there with no resolution at all? I mean yes, Ethan saved his daughter, presumably breaking some sort of abuse cycle, yay, congrats, but what about his wife/gf? Isn’t she supposed to be like the main protagonist of the story of a mother bereaved to the point of tyrannical madness

Or rather, this specific story is not the right choice for his character since there’s SO many ethical and philosophical issues and questions implied but never properly explored because of Ethan’s ‘fuck you, idc’ attitude (which is completely understandable in those circumstances but adds virtually nothing to the plot and arguably even ruins it a bit). Heisenberg could’ve been an excellent ally with fascinating grey morality (provided the writers wouldn’t push him to the point of absolute insanity and let freedom, not power-hunger be his main goal and motivation for rebellion).And again, aren’t the lords supposed to represent child development stages? In which case Ethan what? Kills the possibility of some evil version of Rose? Or his own chance to experience fatherhood throughout all of those stages? Either way, it seems a bit… weird to have a Parent destroy multiple people whose main relevance to the plot is that they’re children of an abusive antagonist in a storyline so extremely focused on parent/kid relationships.

I feel like the main theme of re8 is not just parenthood/motherhood, but the relationship itself of the parent to the child. There's a lot of mentions to "children being used". Miranda kidnapping people, experimenting on them and mutating them and then treating them like they're her kids; Miranda kidnapping and practically killing Rose; Dimitrescu making daughters out of reanimated corpses she experimented on; Heisenberg wanting to use Rose's powers, etc etc.

And it's important that Miranda is at the center of this. There's something very interesting she says to Ethan in her boss fight:

"Why do you interfere? Surely you have no need of Rose now, so close to death?"

And that's where her mistake was. Ethan wasn't doing all that because he needed Rose herself. He was doing it to save her, fully aware that he wasn't going to be a part of her life cause he knew he was dying. Miranda was way too dependent on her love for Eva - and like, I honestly get it that losing your child can devastate you (if anything my fear of that is one of the reasons I don't want to have kids) - so much that her life literally revolved around her child. Once Eva died, Miranda wanted to die. Once she found the Megamycete and discovered she maybe had a chance to bring Eva back, she dedicated her entire life and ruined multiple others to do just that. Her one and biggest need was to get Eva back. It wasn't a simple want or wish. It was a need. She'd get her child back, damn everyone else - including other people's children.

Miranda had no-one to blame directly; Eva had died from the influenza, it wasn't like she had any chance to change things. Ethan's case was different; he had people to blame, particularly, the one who kidnapped Rose and dismembered her, and her lackeys who kept said parts and fought him for trying to take them back.

So on one end, you have a parent who lost her child due to a tragedy, and ended up destroying other - innocent - lives in order to get her back. On the other, you have a parent who lost his child due to a crime, and ended up going after the criminals responsible in order to get the child back. Like, it wasn't even revenge, and it wasn't that he "needed" Rose in his life. He simply wanted to save her and ensure she'll be alright.

I fully agree it could have been Mia as the protagonist in re8, and that it was a wasted opportunity to simply fridge her and have her in the sidelines angsting over her husband. But whether it was Mia or Ethan as the protagonist, I feel like the theme that I explained above does offer a resolution, showing the opposites of Miranda and Ethan, and ending Miranda's tyrrany of her "need" to have her child back through Ethan's determination to ensure his child's safety and happiness - even if he doesn't get to be a part of any of that later on. Miranda showed obsession; Ethan showed dedication.

And this is how I see the abuse cycle breaking and the resolution is reached; an obsessed parent hurt a good parent's child to bring their own child back - the good parent's dedication stopped the former, allowing the former's tyrrany to end and their child to grow up safe.

Seeing as this is a horror game, I don't tend to focus on the morality issues (if I'm interpreting your second message correctly). Like, the developers are making a grant effort to put us in Ethan's shoes, first-person POV, plain character protagonist and all; our child got kidnapped and practically murdered, and we have the chance to bring her back. We'll absolutely raise hell to the people who are responsible for it and we will get our child back, fuck any moral dilemmas we might have. When someone is threatening your life, you have the ability to kill them to defend yourself. In the case of a caring parent, that ability may multiply by a lot when the threat is towards their child. And I feel that this is what the game explored in the end. Though the whole survival issue is taxing on Ethan, he doesn't give a damn about who he has to kill if it means saving his daughter - but again, it's only the responsible parties. We see how watching all the people at Luisa's house die affected him, and even before Elena died, he wanted to ensure her safety before he went searching for Rose; he is sympathetic and morally rational, but also capable of cold-blooded murder if someone is threatening his child. To a lesser extent, we saw that in re7 too. With his life on the line, he killed Jack (multiple times) and Marguerite, and at the end he recognized how they were actually victims of Eveline. But they were still actively trying to murder him so he wasn't given the chance to help them. With Zoe, he promised to send help, and he did, even wanting to talk to her once she'd been rescued by her uncle and Chris. The same applies to re8, but as I said, it's multiplied since it's his daughter who's in danger, and the end of re8 proves he cares for her safety more than his own.

Now, all that said, I think it's important to note how it's stil a Resident Evil game. I haven't actually played or watched any playthroughs of other games, but the basic concept in these games, from what I understand, is that the player shoots zombies; ex-human beings who have lost any human mentality and will just come for your throat if you don't kill them first. They're not humans anymore, they can't be reasoned or sympathized with. It's not really an issue of morality, ethics or philosophy. Your life, and the life of your child in the case of re8, are in danger. You don't give a shit. You just start shooting and hope for the best. Again, I don't know if the morality issue is explored in other RE games, but to be honest... Resident Evil doesn't sound like the kind of franchise that's thematically into going super deep into the morality of shooting zombies to save your life.

I have to admit I haven't thought of the Lords being representative of child development stages. I think they could be put as Moreau being a toddler, fully dependent on their parent - funnily enough, the Greek word for baby is "moro", pronounced almost exactly the way "Moreau" is pronounced in the game - Donna as a child, Heisenberg as a (rebellious?) teenager, and Dimitrescu as a late teen/young adult (if anything, Dimitrescu seems to behave like the eldest child of the bunch). But I'm not sure the connection that has to Ethan as a father, if anything because the bosses are fought in complete random order of age, if my analysis is correct. Like, I understand the symbolism behind the Lords' behaviours, maybe as you said they represent the obstacles Ethan had to overcome. In one single day and with his life on the line, instead of in the course of Rose's entire childhood and adolescence, but that's exactly why he hated being a protagonist of a horror game, lol.

Anyway, yeah. All in all, I don't think Resident Evil is a franchise where we should expect to sit down afterwards and ponder whether we were right to shoot the zombies that were trying to kill us. Again, I'm not the right person to ask this, since I don't know anything about other RE games, but that's the conclusion I'm making in a meta-thinking way.

[chryuhwan]

helloooo i’m sol (21+, they/them) and this is yuhwan. he’s an old oc revamped too many times so if he seems familiar... my b dude i’m attached i guess. anyway, i’m excited to be here! please like this post if you’re interested in plotting and i’ll hit you up. i’m not on twitter and pretty sparse on discord, so i prefer tumblr im! but if that’s difficult for you, we can figure smth out! i have a short (haha) tl;dr under the cut, but you can also read up more on his BIO and PROFILE pages.

RUNDOWN

TRIGGER & CONTENT WARNINGS: physical abuse, underage drug/alcohol consumption, (attempted) suicide (lmk if you want a redacted summary!) 

BASICS — born and raised in busan up until the tender age of seventeen, when he was sent (“exiled”) to seoul to live with his aunt and uncle and attend hannam. the catalyst was a rebellious phase turned lifestyle (a lot of really reckless decisions involving drugs, alcohol, vandalism, swiping money from the tithes & offerings, u name it) and his parents deciding they a) didn’t want to deal with that and b) didn’t want that to reflect on their reputations. he’s been in seoul ever since and has never stayed in busan for longer than a couple of days.

ON RELIGION & FAITH — the only son of the head pastor of a well-known megachurch in busan, yuhwan was raised under the strict and watchful eye of his obsessive parents! he’s not religious anymore by any means, but faith (or his lack thereof) has shaped a huge part of his mentality. his lack of belief in a higher power is the foundation of his ‘if i have the confidence to own up to the potential consequences of my actions, then i’ll do whatever i want to’ mindset. he’s not going to be discouraged by a god that doesn’t exist! 

ON SEOUL — hates it. yep. he hates seoul, but he doesn’t really have the drive to try to find somewhere he does like because he hates busan too. when he was sent to live with his aunt and uncle, he was treated pretty poorly (still flinches when people raise their hand at him), like a glorified punching bag. hannam wasn’t any better, and the military was nice in the way prison cells might be. he hates cramped things and the only decent jogging path he knows runs him right by the bridge he almost jumped off of after his military service ended so. you know. you win some, you lose some. 

ON HANNAM — hated it. yep. straight up hated it. he was pretty good about being friendly around virtually anyone who held his attention for more than a couple of seconds, but yuhwan hates the idea of hierarchies! finds them downright stifling, and he doesn’t like the idea of being placed in a box, etc. hannam felt like an oppressive social pyramid and he thought that kinda sucked so as friendly as he was on the outside, he had zero interest in making friends and has probably only willingly kept in touch with a handful of people since graduating. 

ON GOSSIPS, RUMORS, AND SECRETS — he’s a tabloid writer. once a regular editor for a small newspaper, he gave that up and decided to sacrifice his morals for a higher paycheck. he blames his mom because she, as the pastor’s wife, had a lot of access to juicy gossip and liked to tell yuhwan about it. yuhwan’s probably the least trustworthy person he knows. he’s careful to keep the secrets of people he cares about, but as it turns out, he doesn’t really care about that many people. he’s friendly, open to listening, and honestly not that bad at giving advice etc., but be on your guard. wouldn’t want your dirty laundry to be aired out for the world to see, after all. 

ON THE PRESENT — he’s minding his own business. really. like i said, he’s probably kept in touch with some people, but otherwise he’s not really interested in the busy lives of almost-strangers unless they’re going to get him a bonus on his next paycheck. yuhwan very much so marches to the beat of his own drum. he doesn’t care much about the world around him and only cares when it inconveniences him. like a kite without a string, he’s floating wherever the fuck the wind’s going to take him!

ON HIS SECRET — after graduating from high school, and then university, and then finishing military service, yuhwan thought he might literally lose his fucking mind if he didn’t set himself free in one way or another. ultimately, he decides he won’t be able to coexist in peace with his parents unless they change. and because they won’t change of their own volition, he submits an anonymous tip about his father’s embezzlement of church funds. in the end, it doesn’t destroy his dad’s legacy or anything; the church is still up and running—but it’s an ordeal that takes months, years of being humbled by the weight of the world. he doesn’t feel bad about it. his mom gossips less and his dad’s less of an asshole, after all. makes family gatherings that much more bearable when they’re all tired of existing!

CONNECTIONS

BEST FRIEND — just one. no dramatic childhood friends story or anything like that. just one person he actually really genuinely sincereeeeeely liked from hannam that didn’t take any effort or slow build to figure out. probably the only person he really trusts in this big, bad city. you’ve got a huge weapon in your hands! he’s not used to putting this much trust in others. (+1000 if in a two-day relationship that ended terribly. ‘i would never date you again, but i’ll still die for u’ kinda vibes) 

HANNAM FRIENDS — there won’t be many, but! anyone? anyone?? he was a friendly, easygoing person (still is, tbh) during his hannam days, but was definitely a free spirit who did whatever he wanted. if you could keep up with his pace, then he might have liked your company. he’s not a fan of overly serious people unless they have the patience of a saint! (trust me, you’ll need it.) 

HANNAM... NOT FRIENDS — he’s not so conscious of his surroundings as to have enemies himself, but he definitely did get pushed around for a little while when he was first getting settled. and he’s also definitely spoken out of turn and said some rude shit (not on purpose) (he just doesn’t have a filter) here and there. want to hate his guts? please do. negative energy’s welcome in this house!

COUSIN — a similar-aged cousin, also the child of the aunt and uncle yuhwan absolutely fucking abhors. they might have a contentious relationship. might even be a positive one. either way, they lived under the same roof for a few years! 

TABLOID VICTIM — got a little fame to your name? have a nasty scandal you didn’t want to get out? well, now it’s out. and sensationalized, too! maybe you know it’s him who leaked it (and wrote the article, while we’re at it). maybe you don’t! 

BUSAN BUDDIES — and i use the word ‘buddies’ loosely. grow up in busan? have religious parents? religious yourself maybe? well, maybe you bumped into each other then. yuhwan had the reputation of being a prim and proper pastor’s son, amiable and cheerful and so so devoted, up until he was suddenly sent to seoul. all of his bad habits and reckless adventures were largely done behind his parents’ backs (until he got caught, at least!)—you know of them? partake in them, maybe? or maybe you didn’t know, and you’re wondering why the fuck he came to seoul in the first place

BLACKMAIL — he’s not above using underhanded tactics if they’re made available to him. sometimes he doesn’t even need a big reason. maybe he found out a secret of yours and he wants a secret you know about someone else. he’ll hold it over your head! call it a little game of cat and mouse!

[lucky-katebishop]

What I Read in July 2021

Oh, man, this is gonna be a long post. I bookmarked 33 fics, all of them Harry Potter related, with a few cross-overs.

Forget-Me-Not by Lomonaaeron *favorite*

Plot: Harry isn’t the Boy-Who-Lived, but his parents still died, and Albus Dumbledore, concerned that Death Eaters might seek the boy’s death, cast a powerful charm on him to make wizards ignore him before Harry was left with the Dursleys. Except, with the Elder Wand in play, the charm was far too powerful, and made others essentially forget Harry existed when not directly interacting with him. Sorted into Ravenclaw at Hogwarts, Harry lives a contented life with no one either loving or hating him…until the charm breaks on his seventeenth birthday, and he’s suddenly plunged directly into the middle of a living world at war.

Characters: Harry, Theo Nott, Dumbledore, Neville, Ollivander, Lupin, Rabastan Lestrange, Ron, Hermione, Draco, original non-human characters, Peter Pettigrew, Umbridge

Relationships: Harry Potter/Theo Nott

Warnings: none apply

Tags: ancient runes, socially awkward Harry Potter, Ravenclaw Harry Potter, Harry Potter is not the boy-who-lived, angst, romance, horcruxes, muggleborn registration commission, blood magic

My Notes: I inhaled this in one sitting and then cried for like 10 minutes afterwards, it’s so beautifully written, it became an instant favorite

*complete*

He Turned Around by ChipOfftheOldSoul *favorite*

Plot: When the Goblet of Fire spit out Harry's name that Halloween night, he was told to join the other champions. Instead, he turned around and walked away.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Draco, Ron, Hermione, Victor Krum, Cedric Diggory, Fleur Delacour, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Crabbe, Goyle, Daphne Greengrass, Fred & George, Marcus Flint, Millicent Bulstrode, Tracey Davis

Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter; Harry Potter & Severus Snape; Draco Malfoy & Severus Snape

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, mentioned homophobia

Tags: book 4, good Severus Snape, good Draco Malfoy, good Slytherins, smart Harry Potter, Dumbledore bashing, manipulative Dumbledore, past child abuse, runes, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Slytherin Harry Potter, Hogwarts House re-sort, no Ron bashing but he’s not great for a while

My Notes: I’ve already read this twice in less than a week period and I cannot wait until it’s updated (hopefully it’ll be updated) and I absolutely love the way it’s written and Harry’s characterization. I also very much appreciate that there won’t be Ron bashing, I’ve read too many Ron bashing fics, but I am here for all of the Dumbledore bashing!

*incomplete* [last updated June 2021]

Stars by LilyIsAwesomerThanYou

Plot: When Snape discovers Harry's abusive past during an Occlumency lesson, Harry panics. Snape is forced to take care of him in the aftermath. Mentor/guardian fic. As always, no slash.

Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Dumbledore, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Gen

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, depression

Tags: Severitus, angst, drama, past abuse, hurt/comfort, mentor Snape, guardian Snape, occlumency

My Notes: Snape is a dick in this one, and so far he has not gotten any better, just a warning, but there’s some great Harry angst going on here (that’s why I bookmarked it). Yeah, Snape is pretty evil in this one, there’s some victim blaming and just straight up verbal abuse from him.

*incomplete* [last updated 2018]

violet hill by rejectedreality

Plot: Where Harriet Potter is Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes’ soulmate.

Fandoms: Harry Potter & MCU

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Harry Potter, Steve Rogers, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Harry Potter; Steve Rogers/Harry Potter; Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers; Bucky/Steve/Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, emotional/psychological abuse

Tags: fem!Harry Potter, soulmate-identifying marks, age difference, angst with a happy ending, it gets worse before it gets better

My Notes: this is so, so, so fucking beautiful! I am straight up in love with this fic, and I am so sad that it hasn’t been updated for a few years because there was so much potential. There are some hints at underage couples, as Harry’s 15 while Bucky and Steve are adults, but nothing actually happens.

*incomplete* [last updated 2017]

trapped in a blue haze by MourningElegance

Plot: “And in that moment, Draco knows. He knows that all his deep-rooted suspicions about Harry’s childhood are terribly, horribly true.” As their relationship grows, so do Draco’s misgivings about Harry’s past.

Rating: Explicit!!!

Characters: Harry, Draco

Relationships: Harry/Draco

Warnings: explicit sexual content, implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: established relationship, smut, porn with plot, explicit sexual content, fluff and angst, hurt/comfort, cuddling, post-war, post-Hogwarts, auror Harry Potter, POV Draco, character study, sickfic, epilogue what epilogue, injury

*complete*

From the Dungeons by huntersg1rl

Plot: One conversation goes slightly differently. How much does it change? Features a caring Snape, supportive Malfoys, strong friendships, and Slytherin Harry.

Characters: Harry, Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Daphne, Snape, Narcissa, Lucius, Sirius, Remus, Pomfrey, Dumbledore

Relationships: pre-Harry/Draco; Severus Snape & Harry Potter

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Slytherin Harry Potter, Good Severus Snape, good Lucius Malfoy, good Narcissa Malfoy, manipulative Dumbledore, POC Harry, animagus transformation, wizengamot, politics and culture

My Notes: YA’LL! This one is so cool! It’s going under some major maintenance at the moment, so it’ll be a bit of a wait until it gets going again but I recommend reading it immediately before the changes get enacted. I don’t want to spoil anything, but Harry’s a BAMF in this series, especially when we get to book 3

*incomplete* [this is a series, first three parts are completed, last updated February 2021]

Fighting for Freedom by dreamsofmermaids

Plot: At the end of a horrific fourth year, Harry overhears something on the train back to London that sets in motion a series of events that will reveal truths, change decisions, and send Harry on a path to true freedom. But nothing comes without a fight.

Fandoms: Harry Potter & Criminal Minds

Characters: Harry, Snape, Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid, Jason Gideon, Emily Prentiss, Sirius Black, Voldemort

Relationships: to be announced (I know, I’m sorry, I hate this too)

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, major character death, attempted sexual assault, implied/referenced child abuse, suicide attempt, kidnapping

Tags: Dumbledore bashing, Weasley bashing, Hermione bashing, Harry runs away, Snape bashing, not so evil Voldemort, trouble magnet!Harry

My Notes: this one is really good and it features a Harry and Dobby friendship. I’m gonna spoil it right now, Hotchner is Harry’s dad, I hate it when it doesn’t state it in the tags

*incomplete* [last updated February 2021]

From Grace by silver_fish *favorite*

Plot: From the top of the Astronomy Tower, the stars always look brighter. Funny, how Harry can’t seem to find them at all anymore.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Harry & Snape

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced child abuse, attempted suicide

Tags: set during Ootp, insomnia, nightmares, teenage angst, emotional hurt/comfort

*complete*

A Beautiful Lie by Panis_fluvium

Plot: Harry receives his letter while the Dursley's are on vacation. Harry takes it upon himself to find out if the letters he receives are true or if someone is playing a massive joke on him. What happens when he journey's to Diagon Alley alone? What happens when he finally gets to school? Will he finally fit in? Will he finally escape the abuse?

Characters: Harry, Draco, Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Blaise, Pansy, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Draco/Harry; Pansy/Blaise; Snape/?

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Severitus, Slytherin Harry, bullying, shy Harry, slight Ron bashing, fairly good Voldie, misunderstood darkside, manipulative Dumbledore

*incomplete* [last updated June 2021]

The heir of something or other by diregewithoutmusic

Plot: When kids in the Slytherin Common Room tossed jeers at the pudgy feet of Millicent Bulstrode, Harry rose up to do something about it. This Harry, now one of Snape’s own, got fewer House points lost but many more detentions– it had never been the colors on his hem that Severus hated. This was not wishing Harry an easy path. This was not wishing the boy a warm House. This was Harry, three weeks in, sleep deprived and considering running away and going back to Privet Drive. This was Harry in the back of Potions class, blank-faced under Snape’s disdain the way he’d perfected under the Dursleys’s torments. When Quirrell shouted “troll in the dungeons, thought you ought to know,” and Harry overheard that there was a girl in the bathroom crying, he still ran off to make sure she got out okay. He hesitated first, at the back of the little pack of Slytherin first years (at the back so that no one could get behind him)– he hesitated. And Millicent Bulstrode, who could never quite keep her tummy tucked in enough, could never brush all the cat hair off her robes, never quite keep her temper in check, hesitated, too.

Characters: Harry, Millicent, Colin Creevey, Hermione, Dennis Creevey, Luna, Ron, Draco, Astoria, Daphne, Pansy, Neville, Susan Bones

Relationships: gen

Warnings: major character death

Tags: Slytherin Harry, canon typical violence

My Notes: this made me cry. It like actually made me cry. I don’t cry when I read fanfiction, but this one actually made me cry, it’s been two weeks and I still feel like crying thinking about this fic, but that being said it’s written so beautifully.

*complete*

Conditionally by Lomonaaeren

Plot: Harry finds out that he's Snape's son. It goes as badly as possible.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Dumbledore, Sirius, Hermione, Ron, Seamus, Umbridge, Rita, Neville, Voldemort

Relationships: minor Lily/Snape; Harry & Snape; Hermione & Ron & Harry

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, suicidal thoughts, minor character death

Tags: Severitus, present tense, powerful Harry, Snape is Harry’s biological father, unhealthy coping mechanisms, independent Harry

My Notes: wow this one made me so mad for Harry. Sirius and Remus are not Harry’s friends, nor Dumbledore. Be warned, as good as this fic is, you will be very angry at all the adults in this fic. Snape isn’t a loving father type, and their relationship isn’t the greatest but it’s better than nothing by the end.

*complete*

Harry Potter and the Secrets Within by WhoWroteThis

Plot: Harry Potter is a very special, but very abused little boy. When a giant drags him into a world unknown, he'll need all the help he can get to understand his newfound belonging. Lucky for him, he has a snake, a dragon, and a horde of protective allies on his side.

Characters: Harry, original animal characters, Snape, Draco, Lucius and Narcissa, Portrait Salazar Slytherin, Basilisk, Blaise, Hogwarts ghosts, Quirrell, Voldemort

Relationships: Harry & Voldemort; Harry & Draco; Harry & Snape

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, internalized homophobia, implied/referenced alcohol abuse, suicide threats and thoughts

Tags: Harry Potter needs a hug, parseltongue, Harry Potter has a pet snake, powerful Harry, metamorphmagus Harry, good Malfoy family, Slytherin Harry, slow burn, Slytherin politics, Hagrid bashing, Hermione bashing, Ron bashing, Dumbledore bashing, rituals, centaurs, dragons, cats, snakes

My Notes: I will literally never be trustworthy of the basilisk after reading Antithesis but I have to admit the basilisk in this fic is pretty great

*incomplete* [last updated August 2021]

The Tainted Blood of the Father by StarLight_Massacre *favorite*

Fandoms: Supernatural & Harry Potter

Plot: Harry has broken away from his chains after the Dursleys go too far. A simple desire to make a withdrawal from Gringotts leads to something much larger and exposes more than he ever knew about himself. A rushed, impulsive trip to America changes his entire life as he might have just found himself a true family to call his own.

Characters: Harry, John Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bobby

Relationships: Gen

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse, attempted sexual assault

Tags: Awkward Winchesters trying to deal with Harry, cinnamon roll Harry

My Notes: The dynamic between Harry and the Winchesters shouldn’t work this well, but they absolutely do. Harry is a little Sam, he acts so much like him it’s so cute and everyone finds it so cute. Really great amount of angst and hurt/comfort. Doesn’t deal with the wizard side of things that much but I expect that’ll change in the upcoming chapters. Author has stated they don’t know if the Winchesters ever will find out that Harry’s a wizard, however, so keep that in mind

*incomplete* [last updated April 2021]

On a Pale Horse by Hyliian

Plot: When Dumbledore tried to summon a hero from another world to deal with their Dark Lord problem, this probably wasn't what he had in mind.

Characters: Harry, Death, Dumbledore, Hermione, Remus, Voldemort, Ron

Relationships: Gen

Warnings: none

Tags: master of death Harry, dimension travel, summoning rituals gone horribly wrong, godlike Harry, Dumbledore bashing, crack treated seriously, does major character death count as a tag when the major character is Death?

My Notes: so absolutely creepy, I love it so much, our Harry is not really all that much like Harry at all because he’s an immortal eldritch being of horror

*incomplete* [last updated 2018]

tell me whether he is dead by LullabyKnell *favorite*

Plot: Harry suffers a few side-effects of dying but not dying. “Hey, can someone help me with this? The mirror in the bedroom’s stopped working for me. “What do you mean ‘the mirror’s stopped working’?”

Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Harry/Ron/Hermione

Warnings: none

Tags: post-canon, epilogue what epilogue, post-battle of Hogwarts, post-Deathly Hallows, haunting, implied/referenced character death, gen or pre-slash, fluff and angst, oblivious Harry, master of death Harry

My Notes: so fucking brilliant, this author literally never misses, the relationship between the golden trio is so fucking cute and I love them so much

*complete*

A New Place to Stay by DebsTheSlytherinSnapeFan *favorite*

Plot: Harry Potter is called up to Dumbledore's office and told he was being moved elsewhere to keep him safe. He no longer has to stay at the Dursley's, but Dumbledore tells him he has to stay with Severus Snape. For a few days it seemed like a bad idea. Until Severus Snape uncovers the truth of who Harry Potter really is and what he's been through. Watch as Severus does as nobody else has done before him. He takes care of Harry. Watch him flourish into who he was meant to be, a boy with the heart of a Gryffindor and smarts of a Slytherin. The Dursley's, Umbridge and Dumbledore had better watch out Severus is out for revenge. Spy or no spy, Severus is not allowing anyone away with hurting Harry.

Characters: Snape, Harry, Dumbledore, Neville, Luna, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Gen

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Severitus

My Notes: I’ve read so many of these types of fics that even though this is more than 300k words I can’t remember a single thing about this but it must’ve been good because I labelled it as favorite, so

*complete*

Silver Lining by BloodyRed_Queen

Plot: Harry has a disastrous Summer with the Dursleys and is brought to Hogwarts early. In order to protect him, drastic measures are taken and Harry finds himself living with one Severus Snape.

Characters: Harry, Blaise, Draco, Snape

Relationships: Harry/Blaise; Harry & Snape

Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: animagus, father-son relationship, severitus, Snape adopts Harry, good Slytherins, Ron bashing, Dumbledore bashing, therapy, manipulative Dumbledore

*complete*

truth’s like blood underneath your fingernails by Choices_We_Make, questionsthemselves

Plot: "Slytherin would do well, help you on the path to greatness," the hat seems to be coaxing him, but for something that can read his mind, it sure doesn't seem to know him very well. Harry doesn't want greatness. He doesn't need his name in lights and on everyone's lips. He wants meals, hot ones, whenever he wants, with people that he likes and that like him. Friends he can have adventures with, huddle under the blankets with at night and laugh with. People who might think… think he's worth something. In which Harry is sorted into Slytherin, and Snape deals with the fallout.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Draco, Theo, Blaise

Relationships: Harry & Snape

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Slytherin Harry, Severitus sort of, angst with a sort of hopeful ending, Snape discovers abuse

*complete* [part of a series, incomplete but first two parts are finished, last updated 2018]

Harry Potter and the Immortal’s Playground by May_May_o_o

Fandoms: MCU & Harry Potter

Plot: Living forever isn't all it's cracked up to be. Harry Potter learns the meaning of immortality when everyone he loves dies again and again after becoming the master of death. After millennia of love lost, Death sends him to "Elsewhere" in order to give his master something new and different. Harry emerges from ash in New Asgard. What's a man like Thor to do but offer the traveler a home?

Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna, Death, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint, Natasha, Loki, Thor, Bruce, May Parker

Relationships: Harry/Ginny; Thor/Harry; Harry & Avengers

Warnings: PTSD, suicide attempts

Tags: master of death Harry, magically powerful Harry, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, post-snap

My Notes: I don’t usually like Harry paired with any of the Avengers other than Peter, but Thor and Harry are so soft and written beautifully, I love this author so much

*incomplete* [last updated June 2021]

Another Mind Game by May_May_o_o *favorite*

Plot: Harry’s occlumency reveals his disturbing home life which sets off a chain reaction that cannot be undone. Snape finds himself begrudgingly caring about the bespectacled boy, Harry discovers what it's like to have adults who care, and Hermione finds herself becoming an accidental crime lord. Draco Malfoy is very much along for the ride, in all senses of the word. A ridiculous blend of hilarity and tragedy, Another Mind Game is the multi-faceted fanfiction you didn't know you wanted but will absolutely adore. Featuring a sassy Harry Potter, good friends, and a great deal of sarcasm.

Characters: Harry, Neville, Hermione, George, Fred, Snape, Ron, Luna, McGonagall, Dumbledore, house elves

Relationships: Draco/Harry; Hermione/Ron; Snape & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; presumed suicidal (it makes sense when you read it)

Tags: mentor Snape, strong Harry, sassy Harry, slow burn, fluff and angst, Dumbledore bashing, crack treated seriously, Snape adopts Harry, protective Hogwarts, magically powerful Harry

My Notes: favorite, absolute favorite, read it three times already and it’s only been three weeks! The endnotes are so funny and add a lot of levity to the story

*complete* (unfortunately, I wish I could read more)

Not Just Pretty Words by LullabyKnell

Fandoms: Harry Potter & The Addams Family

Plot: On an unexpected holiday to America, Harry Potter meets a strange girl at a zoo, finds out that he's a witch, steals a snake, and is cordially invited to the Addams mansion for dinner.

Characters: Harry, Wednesday, Morticia, Gomez

Relationships: Gen; Addams Family & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Harry needs a hug, worldbuilding, happy ending, found family, light angst

*complete*

Bruised Words by starknjarvis

Plot: After Harry blows up Aunt Marge, Dumbledore decides it's not safe for Harry to spend the rest of the summer at the Leaky Cauldron, and instead sends him to stay at Spinner’s End with Professor Snape. It's tense, awkward, and teeming with misunderstandings...but it might be the best thing that's happened to either of them. They're both been without a family for a very long time.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Dumbledore

Relationships: Harry & Snape

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: traumatized Harry, miscommunications, Snape adopts Harry, sickfic

*complete* [part of series, incomplete, last updated 2020]

The Freak Who Lived by DeviantHufflepuff, Zaharya

Plot: When Harry's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, he is kicked out of Gryffindor Tower by those he thought of as friends. It isn't until Snape finds him that the truth comes out about The Boy Who Lived.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Pomfrey, McGonagall, Viktor Krum, Fleur, Cedric, Draco, Neville, Blaise

Relationships: Sirius/Remus; Harry & Snape; Harry/Blaise

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse, PTSD, trauma induced age regression (not intense), suicidal thoughts

Tags: book 4, Severitus, Snape adopts Harry, panic attacks, seer Luna, Harry needs a hug, McGonagall is basically Harry’s mom, manipulative Dumbledore but he’s not evil, big brother Draco

My Notes: Snape is pretty cuddly in this one, he’s not shy with feelings and showing Harry that he’s loved which is nice and a nice change from other Severitus fics. Don’t be off-put by the age regression tag, it’s super low-key, there’s only a couple throw-away lines about it.

*incomplete* [last updated February 2021]

Dudley Dursley’s Most Unexpectedly Fortunate Flower by aTasteofCaramell

Plot: Dudley Dursley is leading a perfectly normal life, his contact with his odd cousin limited to Christmas cards and peculiar memories. Until his daughter sneezes and sets the curtains on fire.

Characters: Harry, Dudley, Dudley’s children, Petunia and Vernon Dursley

Relationships: Dudley & Harry; Harry/Ginny

Warnings: none

Tags: humor, Dudley has a magical child, redeemed Dudley, post-series, Petunia and Vernon still suck, Harry Potter Next Generation

*complete*

Unexpected Consequences by Siebenschlaefer

Plot: The Ministry letter after the Dementor attack has far greater consequences than everybody could have anticipated and at the start of his fifth year in Hogwarts Harry has to be sorted again. And this time there is no negotiating with the Sorting Hat.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Draco, Dumbledore, Hermione, Sirius, Lupin, Blaise, Ron

Relationships: Snape & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Slytherin Harry, resorting

*incomplete* [last updated March 2021]

Stinging Nettle and Milking Pails by Oceanbreeze7 *favorite*

Plot: Are you a witch or / Are you a fairy? / Or are you the wife / of Michael Cleary? “The fairies will do wicked things sometimes,” Harry murmured gently, “Steal the milk when they get a chance, or skim the cream off the milk crocks.” “Do they ever steal anything more?” Luna asked him rhetorically. Harry couldn’t answer.

Characters: Harry, Luna, James, Lily

Warnings: author chose not to use warnings

Tags: wrong-boy-who-lived, Harry has a twin, dark fairy tale elements, fairy tale style, druids, fae and fairies, James and Lily live

My Notes: Oceanbreeze7 should straight up be a horror writer. This is the writer who wrote Antithesis, the fic that I was literally unable to finish because I was too heartbroken, and they did not disappoint with this one! It’s so good! It’s so horrific! It’s so heartbreaking!

*complete*

Sarcasm and Slytherin by orphan_account *favorite*

Plot: After ten years of misery with the Dursleys, Harry Potter learns that he has magic. Except, in this story, it's not a surprise-the only surprise is that there are others like him. Including his twin brother, Julian Potter, the savior of the Wizarding world. This isn't the Harry you think you know.

Characters: Harry, Theo, Blaise, OMC, Hermione, Ron, Neville, James Potter, Luna, Daphne, Snape, Dumbledore

Relationships: none

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: wrong-boy-who-lived, Slytherin Harry, Harry has a twin, Slytherin politics, no pairings before 4th year, potential Dumbledore bashing, James bashing, potential Snape bashing, Draco’s still annoying

My Notes: I’m not sure why it’s now an orphan account or if it will ever be updated, but I’ve seen a lot of people on reddit compare this with Prince of Slytherin (a series I haven’t read because I chose this one over it) so be cautious of that. I straight up want to murder James Potter, though, so that’s a nice thought. I finally finished it! I started this back in early June and I miss it a lot, I spent many hours reading this.

*incomplete* [five parts, last updated 2019]

The ones that seek and find (six years in the relationship of harry and luna) by Terapsina

Plot: By chance of fate Harry Potter meets Luna Lovegood in his second year instead of his fifth. It doesn’t really change anything for the magical world at large but it changes quite a lot for the young witch and wizard themselves. Here are six glimpses into their relationship from the moment they meet until the end of the war.

Characters: Harry, Luna, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Luna/Harry; Harry & Ron & Hermione

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, canonical character death

Tags: fluff and angst, blood quill, angst with a happy ending, no character bashing, epilogue what epilogue

*complete*

Blame it on the Nargles by Pixiestick_cc

Plot: One kiss under the mistletoe changes everything for Harry and Luna.

Characters: Harry, Luna, Hermione, Ron, Lavender Brown, Xenophilius Lovegood, Fred and George, Percy

Relationships: Luna/Harry

Warnings: none

Tags: fluff, romantic friendship, kissing, book 6

My Notes: this one is so cute, I’ve read it five times already, Harry’s able to see the creatures Luna can when he kisses her!

*complete*

Finders, Keepers by Magi_Silverwolf

Plot: “I’m here to kidnap you,” Luna said. “Will you be so kind as to get in this trunk, please?” “I’m fairly certain that kidnappers aren’t supposed to politely ask you to go with them.” “Duly noted,” Luna commented before gesturing to the trunk again. “Get in, Harry. We have a schedule to keep.”

Characters: Harry, Dumbledore, Luna

Relationships: Luna/Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: book 5, fairy Luna, werewolf Remus, magically powerful Harry, manipulative Dumbledore

*complete*

Not Right For Him by JJ Rust

Plot: How will Hermione react when she learns Harry and Luna are together?

Characters: Hermione, Luna, Harry

Relationships: Harry/Luna

Warnings: none apply

Tags: romance, drama

*complete*

The dreamy one by Levi Snowfractal

Plot: Harry finds himself thinking about Luna Lovegood while in detention.

Characters: Harry, Luna

Relationships: Harry/Luna

Warnings: none apply

Tags: romance

*complete*

She Made Him Feel Silly by ArtemisRoseShadow

Plot: The hero usually fell in love with the ever-so-loved princess. It still felt like that to Harry.

Characters: Harry, Luna

Relationships: Harry/Luna

Warnings: none apply

Tags: romance, drama

*complete*

Oh thank god I finished that, that took three hours. Alright check out more of my recs, I have more! Thanks for reading, let me know if you read any of them :)