#a woman came up to me out of nowhere yesterday and said Jesus loves you and idk it felt symbolic

[kibasniper]

guess who hit the big 3-0? it's me!!

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch47: The Terrible Twos Part 2: Fuck off, Clown.

 Intro: In the fourth year since the snap, Jamie enters the terrible twos.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N:  So this chapter is kind of a little different to the others here really, as it’s almost like a collection of long drabbles detailing their life over 2022. And just a little reminded, Phobias, Steve admits to Katie he has a fear of clowns…keep that in mind! @angrybirdcr​ really did outdo herself with these edits too...

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 48 Part 1

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 September 2022

“Mom.” Emmy’s voice was soft and Katie instantly looked up from her laptop. “Where’s Dad?” “He’s gone for a run, well as much of a run as he can with Jamie hanging off his back.”  Katie said, frowning slightly as she saw her fifteen year old daughter wasn’t dressed for school. “Is everything ok? I can call him.” “No, it’s fine. It’s you I wanted to talk to.” Emmy hovered from one foot to the other. “I err…”

She looked down at her feet, a huge flush on her face. Katie closed her laptop and stood up. “Em, what’s wrong?” “I think I, well, no I know I err… I started my period and…” “Oh, Sweetie.” Katie chuckled slightly as she wrapped the girl into a hug. “You feeling okay?”

“Erm, I got cramps and I’m really tired.” Emmy mumbled, her cheek pressed against Katie’s shoulder “And, I err, I got some on the sheets.”

Katie smoothed back Emmy’s hair and shrugged “It’s no big deal. I’ll get you some painkillers and why don’t you go have a bath, I’ll sort your bed and then we’ll sit and watch shit on TV all day. I can stay home.”

Emmy nodded eagerly, and peered up at her mom. “Snacks?”

“Dur.”

“Thanks Mom.” Emmy hugged her tight.

“It’s okay, I know how it feels. And, just for the record, beinga woman sucks at times but other times it’s kinda cool.”

“Cool?” Emmy frowned, stepping back a little.

“Yeah, you get boobs.” Katie gestured to her chest “They tend to fascinate most men.”

Katie followed her daughter upstairs where Emmy retreated into the bathroom, whilst Katie found her some pads before she stripped the sheets down and headed to the utility room at the side of the kitchen that held their washing machines and dryer. She was just turning the machine on when the door opened and Steve stepped in, Jamie on his back, giggling away. Steve’s face was red from the brisk November air and the part of Jamie’s cheeks which were visible from beneath his hat and above his scarf were also tinged pink a little.

“Laugh it up, Pal.”  Steve shook his head, as he bent down so Jamie could slide off his back “That’s the last time I’m taking you.” “You said that yesterday, and the day before.” Katie smirked, taking the kiss Steve offered, ignoring Jamie’s noise of disgust. “You love it.”

“Hmmm.” Steve made a non-committal noise in his throat. “Any breakfast going or shall I start some?” “Go get a shower and I’ll make it. We can eat together when Emmy’s out of the bath.”

Steve frowned “Shouldn’t she be on the bus?”

“She’s not feeling too good.” Katie shook her head. “I told her I’d stay home with her, today.”

Steve’s frown deepened as he shrugged off his running jacket. “What’s wrong with her? She sick?” “It’s nothing a day in front of the TV, a heat pad and a blanket can’t fix.” Katie gave him a significant look. As ever it took him a while to cotton on, but when he realised what she was saying, Katie really had to bite back the laugh as his face rearranged itself into a look of surprise, which flickered to pure dumbfoundedness as he struggled for a reply.

“Don’t worry, I got it.” She grinned, patting his chest.

“Momma?” A voice came from the kitchen and Katie turned to face Jamie who was stood by the fridge “I’m hungry.” “Yeah, I’m gonna start breakfast now, baby.” she smiled, “Eggs and toast ok?” “Nomm!” He grinned as he padded over to the table and pulled himself up into a seat. Steve had to give a snort, without his seat he could barely see over the top of the table. He made his way over, lifted Jamie easily with one hand causing the boy to cackle before he replaced him back on the booster and scooted him closer.

“That better?” He asked, dropping a kiss to his son’s head.

“Fankoo, daddy.” he grinned.

“You’re welcome, Buddy.” Steve said straightening up. He turned to Katie “I’m gonna go shower then I’ll come help.”

Katie waved him away with a smile. He took the stairs two at a time and headed into their bedroom. If he was honest he’d been shitting himself about this day for ages. He’d watched Emmy grow up way too fast for his liking over the past few years and now, well he didn’t even want to think about the whole turning into a woman thing. All he knew was he was thankful for Katie’s level head.

He showered quickly, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a red plaid button down ready for his meetings that day and headed onto the landing, just as Emmy was emerging from the larger bathroom wrapped in a robe.

“Hey, Sweetie. Your Ma said you’re not feeling too good.”

She shrugged, “Not really.” “Will a hug help?” He asked and she smiled, nodding. He opened his arms and she stepped into them as he gave her a soft but firm snuggle.

“Thanks, dad.” she said softly.

“Any time, baby.” he dropped a kiss to her head. “Now I’d go get dressed if I were you, before your brother eats all the breakfast.”

*****

When Steve came back that evening, his girls were pretty much in the same spot they had been in all day. When he asked if they’d moved at all, Katie grinned and pointed out that they were both in clean sets of Pyjamas and Jamie was in bed, so of course they had moved, and that they were getting take-out for Dinner because she couldn’t be bothered to cook and it was Friday after all. With a good natured roll of his eyes, Steve cast one final look at them over his shoulder before he headed upstairs to change, leaving them to watch Love Actually. It was nowhere near Christmas, but he knew what they were like when it came to their soppy films, so he left them to it.

When he came back downstairs they were deep in conversation, so he paused for a moment at the door. He didn’t mean to listen in, but he didn’t want to interrupt. And if he was honest, there was something so pure and innocent about their chat that he simply couldn’t help it.

“You know, I still never forgave Adam Rickman for breaking Emma Thompson’s heart.” Katie sighed as Emmy scoffed.

“Has Dad ever bought you a really crappy gift?” she asked.

“No.” Katie replied. “He’s very thoughtful. Although the best gift he gave me wasn’t one he bought anyway.” “Your emerald?” Emmy asked, and Katie made a noise of affirmation. They fell silent for a moment before Emmy spoke again.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Course.”

“If anything happened to Dad, do you think you’d ever like date again?”

Steve frowned slightly as he heard Katie exhale “That’s deep Em. I dunno. I don’t think I’d ever be able to love another man the way I love Steve. In fact I know I wouldn’t. What on Earth made you ask that?” “Oh, Brooke is trying to get Jen dating but she keeps saying she loves Brooke’s dad too much and I kinda think it’s sad as he’s been dead for years. ” “Yeah, well, the thing is Em when you’re in love, and I mean truly in love, it consumes you. That person becomes as much a part of your life as you are and to lose them like that…well I can’t imagine what a hole that would leave in their place.”

“Yeah, suppose.” “You’ll figure that out soon enough.” Katie chuckled.

“Was Dad your first love?”

“He’s been the only man I’ve ever truly been in love with, yes.” Katie replied “For most people a first love and a true love are very different things.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, for instance my first love was a guy called Mikey, he was my first boyfriend. I wasn’t much older than you, dated him for about twelve months.” Katie mused. “He was the first guy I ever slept with. Then there was Grant and we don’t talk about him, ever as he was an asshole.”

Emmy gave a snort

“But your dad, well, he was different. We cared so much about each other before we even started dating. I mean, if I’m honest, I loved him way before he even asked me out.” “Who made the first move?” “He did.” Katie smirked and at that point Steve gave a scoff and walked into the room.

“Liar.” “Oh you so did!” Katie looked at him, unabashed he’d been listening. “You kissed me after Rumlow’s party. You’d have kissed me before that as well if you hadn’t been such a chicken shit.” Steve rolled his eyes and flopped onto the seat at the opposite side of the coffee table. “You didn’t exactly push me away.” “Dur.” It was Katie’s time to roll her eyes as Emmy snorted “I’d been waiting for you to make a move for months.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at her as the teenager quipped. “You were still a bit slow on the uptake back then I see.” “Err, less of your cheek young lady.” He shot back and she giggled.

“You know the first time we had sex he literally ripped my pants off.” Katie grinned at Steve and he pulled a face as Emmy cackled.

“Jesus, Doll.” He flushed bright red.

“Wasn’t the only time either.” “Okay,” Steve stood up with a sigh, shaking his head, as Emmy cackled. He wasn’t particularly keen on discussing his sex life with his fifteen year old kid. “I’m gonna get the Thai Menu.”

Katie watched him go before she winked at Emmy and stood up, following him into the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled into his shoulder. “I love how after all this time I can still make you blush.” “You’re a damned nightmare.” He chuckled as his hands rest on top of hers, using them to pull her closer as he turned to face her.

“But you love me.”

“Yeah, yeah I do.” He smiled, dropping a kiss to her lips.

****

Steve didn’t quite rip Katie’s pants off that night, but it was still passionate enough to send them both into an orgasm induced sleep almost straight away. But Steve was a light sleeper, not as light as he had been once-upon-a-time, as sleeping besides his wife gave him a sense of peace. That said, his super-soldier hearing always woke him should something be out of place, so when he was pulled from his slumber it took him a while to realise that the soft voices he could hear downstairs was the TV. Knowing it could only be one person, he swung his legs out of bed and pulled on a sweater before he padded down the stairs.

“Emmy?” He asked gently as he opened the door to the living room. The teenager looked up from where she was sat, knees tucked up besides her.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged and his sharp eyes didn’t miss the movement her hand made over her tummy. “And lying in bed was doing my head in.”

“Did you take anything?” Steve asked and she looked at him. “For the pain?”

“Oh,” she flushed slightly, “yeah, but it hasn’t worked yet.”

Steve nodded and headed into the kitchen, putting on the kettle. He made the pair of them a hot drink, stuck another heat-pack in the microwave and then paused as he passed the cupboard where he kept his secret stash.

Well, if this wasn’t an occasion it was called for then what was?

Emmy looked up as he walked back into the lounge. He placed the peppermint tea down on the table in front of her, before he passed her the heat pack and then wordlessly produced the Dairy Milk bar from his sweatpants pocket.

“You’re giving me your chocolate?” Emmy looked at him.

“Don’t tell your brother.” Steve said as he sat next to her, flopping his feet up on the coffee table.

She grinned and unwrapped the bar, offering him a piece which he took and shoved in his mouth.

“You’re pretty clued up on all this given you’re like a hundred and five.” She grinned cheekily

“Yeah well, I’ve been with your ma for ten years so I picked up a few tips.” He shrugged. She took a sip of her drink, rearranged her blanket and then picked up his arm so she could snuggle into him. He gently ran his hand over the back of her head as she got comfortable.

“What we watching?” He asked.

“Bad Boys.”

Steve chuckled. “I like this one. That is if I’m not too old to keep you company for a while?” “Nah.” She grinned as she placed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re good.” Katie found the pair of them flat out on the sofa the next morning, Emmy’s head propped up on a pillow as she snuggled up against Steve, her back pressed to his chest as the solider was stretched out down the sofa behind her, arms around his daughter as they slept.

****

October 2022

“All set?” Katie asked as she reached the bottom of the stairs as Steve walked back into the hall having loaded their bags into the car. They were heading off to Tony’s lake-house for a few days where he was throwing a bit of a Halloween party, nothing major but it was a chance for the kids to get dressed up in costumes and eat a load of candy whilst the adults could kick back and drink. Katie was looking forward to it for two reasons. Firstly, it was always nice to gather together with friends and family, well those of them that were left post snap-it made her feel normal, and she could push that persistent feeling of sadness that seemed to manifest on a daily basis, back down into the depth of her mind. And secondly, she was a little excited because she had no idea what Emmy or Jamie’s outfits were going to be.

Emmy had asked a month or so ago if she could be in charge of getting the pair of them costumes and Katie had agreed, simply handing over her card when she wanted to order whatever it was off the internet. She’d even resisted the urge to check her statement to see what it was, as Emmy had demanded she didn’t try and find out. Katie had a sneaking suspicion that Tony had also been involved in these costume choices, as the last time her brother had been over a few weeks ago, the pair of them had been huddled on the large arm chair, sniggering as they looked at something on Tony’s phone. With that in mind she was expecting Jamie to come down in some form of Iron Man or Captain America costume and she had every intention of filming Steve’s response.

“Yup. Locked and loaded.” Steve nodded, dropping a kiss to her cheek.”As soon as the kids are ready we can go.”

“No rush.” Katie shrugged, looking at her watch as they walked into the kitchen. “We don’t need to be there for a few hours.” She wrinkled her nose and slapped at Steve’s hand as he went to peek under the foil wrapped plate on the side. He sharply withdrew it and grinned at her.

“Tell me that’s a pie.”

“Apple and pumpkin, but it’s for the party.”

Steve pouted and she laughed and jerked her head behind her. “There’s another there as I knew you wouldn’t be able to wait.”

“You-” Steve pecked her lips “-are” another peck “-the best.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Captain.” She smirked as his lips hovered over hers and he deepened the kiss slightly, both his hands sliding down to give her ass a playful squeeze before he stepped back and walked over to his coveted prize. Steve peeled back the little cloth that was over the top and gave a little groan that was positively sinful as he inhaled the smell.

“Don’t eat that straight out of the pie dish,” Katie warned him as he made his way to the freezer for the ice cream, “I was gonna cut a few slices for the kids to munch on the way.”

“Then they can get their own.” Steve grumbled a little, but he grabbed a plate none the less.

“Oh yeah, where from?” Katie asked, her hands on her hips.

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Steve muttered as he cut himself a huge slice of the coveted pie. He ladled a generous amount of vanilla ice cream on top then carried it over to the breakfast bar, sitting down as Katie gathered the rest of the food items she had said she would bring which included a huge dish of Mac and Cheese that she’d coloured green with food colouring, spaghetti and meatballs that were supposed to be worms,  cinnamon and apple cookies in the shape of pumpkins and a batch of home-made raspberry and cherry gin which had been done using the raspberries and cherries from the brambles and trees in their small orchard at the bottom of the garden. She began packing it all into a hamper as Steve took the first bit of his pie and gave another groan.

“You know,” he swallowed, waving his fork at her as he gave her a playful grin, “I think this pie is actually better than sex.”

Katie looked at him, arching her eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“It’s a very close call.” He nodded.

“Well maybe I should make you a pie once a week instead of letting you get me on my back.” Katie looked at him, closing the lid on the basket and pushing it to one side, leaning over the breakfast bar.

“Okay, first off we have sex way more than once a week,” Steve pointed his fork at her, “and second-“ his eyes glinted cheekily “-you’re not always on your back.”

“True.” Katie pursed her lips and reached for his fork, snatching it from his hand, “but if you think I’m baking a pie more than once a week you’ve got another thing coming.” She used the fork to take a piece of the sweet treat along with a large blob of ice cream and shoved it in her mouth, closing her eyes. She moaned a little, ensuring that the noise that left her throat was as sinful as she could make it, before she opened her eyes and used her thumb to wipe at a little trickle of ice cream in the corner of her mouth. With her eyes locked on Steve she sucked her thumb clean and smirked a little at the familiar glint of dark in his eyes that he always got when he was turned on.

“You’re lucky you’re the other side of the breakfast bar.” He leaned forward a little, elbows resting on the marble surface, his voice a low timbre that sent those familiar sparks up Katie’s spine.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Katie asked innocently, ignoring the sudden flutter she’d felt between her legs at his tone.

“Because if you weren’t you be in my lap right now testing my theory.”

“Shame.” She nodded, looking around. “I mean it’s not like you could reach and drag me over it or anything.”

“Well I could,”  Steve agreed, “but there’s a piece of pie in the way. And it’s too good to waste.”

“You’re a jerk!” Katie shook her head as Steve laughed, before he leaned back in the stool and patted his right thigh.

“C’mere pretty girl.”

Katie grinned, the sound of him calling her pretty girl always did things to her, as did the soft instruction to ‘come here’ in his Brooklyn accent. She rounded the bar and he reached out, easily pulling her onto his lap so she was perched sideways, legs hanging over the side of his right thigh as he curled his left arm around her waist, right gently resting on her thigh. Katie’s right arm slid round his neck and he titled his face to look at her.

“Just for the record you taste far better than any pie you make.” He grinned and Katie’s mouth fell open at his dirty comment.

“Steven Grant Rogers!” She snorted, slapping his shoulder slightly and he laughed, his hand on her thigh tightening its grip slightly, fingers curling round the toned muscles which were evident once more due to Katie having started training again. Steve actually kind of missed the softness that she’d had since having Jamie but he was damned if he was going to tell her that. He leaned towards her slightly, his nose bumping hers a little as she gently trailed her hand over the nape of his neck, nails scratching just below his hair line above the collar of his black sweater.

“Love you.” He muttered gently, his lips brushing hers and she smiled, her fingers tanging in the hair at the back of his head.

“More than apple pie?”

“Infinitely Mrs Rogers.”

“More than Mac and Cheese?”

Steve hesitated and Katie scoffed.

“For the record I love you more than anything.” Steve chuckled, pressing his lips to hers. “Well, apart from the kids.”

“I’ll accept that exception.” Katie chuckled, her mouth finding his again. The kiss deepened, Katie letting out a soft sigh as his tongue brushed against hers, tasting the apple pie and Ice Cream he had been eating before. Steve’s hand skated up the outside of her thigh coming to rest on her hip, finger tips brushing the strip of skin where her top had ridden up slightly as her own hand fisted slightly in his hair. Completely lost in one another they almost missed the little footsteps coming down the stairs and the giggles in the hallway.

Almost.

Steve pulled back, looking at Katie who grinned. “Play your cards right we can finish this later.”

“At Tony’s?”

“Won’t be the first time we fucked in his spare room.”

Steve snorted at her and patted her ass as she hopped off his lap.

“Mom, Dad!” Emmy called. “We’re ready!”

“We heard!” Katie called back as Steve stood up, grabbing his plate of pie. He took another bite before he wandered into the hallway where he collided with Katie who had stopped dead just outside the door. Frowning he looked up and felt his heart jump.

A clown.

His 2 year old son was dressed as a fucking clown.

And not just any clown, which would have been bad enough, but that bastard clown from IT. The film he refused time and time again to watch because of said bastard clown, which was now stood on the bottom step of the stairs holding a red balloon.

And suddenly, all he could see was that damned clown at Coney Island chasing him through the stalls, Bucky’s laughter echoing in his ears, and then that fucking mirror maze where he’d had the panic attack as he was surrounded by them.

The plate holding his precious pie slipped from his hand and dropped to the tiled floor, where it broke into 3 pieces, its contents splattering all over the grey slate.

“Woah, Dad, didn’t think it would be that scary!” Emmy grinned from behind Jamie as she stood in her outfit, which was a superb replica of the Wicked Witch of the West complete with full green face-paint and a broomstick.

Katie looked over her shoulder at Steve and she could see from his face that he was really struggling to keep it together. Trying not to laugh at the expression of sheer horror on his handsome features, she clamped her lips together and turned to Emmy.

“Your dad’s…” she took a deep breath, trying not to laugh “He’s scared of clowns.”

“Oh…” Emmy frowned “Uncle Tony said he would love it.”

“I bet he did.” Steve bit out a little harshly and Emmy looked at him.

“Are you mad?” She asked and seeing the look on her face Steve inwardly cursed his phobia and his damned brother in law.

“No, honey,” he shook his head, “not at all…you both look…” he trailed off.

“Daddy, look!” Jamie grinned, and he jumped off the bottom step. “Balloon!”

He toddled over towards Steve who automatically took a few steps back and Jamie stopped in front of him, right by Katie’s side, a confused expression crossing his painted face. “Daddy?”

“Yeah, pal…I gotta…” Steve exhaled “I gotta put some stuff in the car so we can to go to Uncle Nee’s okay?”

“Kay…” Jamie said a little quietly.

Katie watched, her shoulders shaking in silent laughter as Steve went to move round Jamie, turning sideways so he could keep his eyes on him, before he pushed past Emmy and bolted up the stairs taking them three at a time.

The hallway was silent bar the sounds Lucky was making as he cleaned up the remnants of the pie on the floor, not wanting to miss a single crumb of his human food treasure.

“Em, why don’t you two take Lucky and go get in the car, we’ll be out in a little moment.” Katie smiled at her.

“Okay. Come on Jay!” Em grabbed his hand but Jamie, clearly now finding the reaction his dad had amusing, turned to his mom and made a little growling noise at her. Katie gave a fake scream and jolted back, causing Jamie to cackle a little, tilting his head back in mirth before allowed Emmy to lead him away.

As soon as they were out of sight and earshot Katie started to laugh. She laughed so hard that she had to retreat to the kitchen to sit at a chair. She doubled over, clutching at her stomach, trying to gather her breath as the tears poured down her face. Try as she might, she couldn’t get the image of Steve fighting the urge to punt his own son into another room out of her head.

Eventually she managed to sort herself out enough to grab her phone and swiped over to the number she wanted.

“Hey, Kiddo.”  Tony greeted

“Tony, you…” she started to laugh again “You better be able to run fast because Steve…he’s…”

Tony chuckled. “He liked the costume then?”

“Tony he freaked, like, seriously. Poor Steve. I expected some form of full Captain America outfit, not that!”

“Well, on this occasion the Spangles just weren’t enough”

“You’re a little shit, you know that?”

“It’s been said.” He conceded. “Did you get it on video?”

“No.” Katie sighed “I was going to but when I saw Pennywise on my damned stairs I knew what was gonna happen so…”

“Shame.We could have played that back later. For science.”

At that point Katie looked up as Steve walked into the kitchen, glancing round.

“He’s not in here…” She chuckled and Steve glared at her, before he gestured to the phone.

“That Tony?”

She nodded.

He reached out and snatched the phone off her. “You’re a dead man,” he growled down the handset, and Katie could hear her brother’s roar of laughter before Steve hung up and tossed the phone down onto the table.

“Calm down!” Katie laughed, standing up. “Steve, it’s just a costume.”

“Katie, they freak me the hell out!” he shook his head “You don’t…” his hands dropped to his hips and his head dropped. “Did you see his face when I backed away?”

“Oh, he’s fine!” Katie rubbed Steve’s arms. “He couldn’t care less.” Steve took a deep breath and she looked at him. “Do you want me to get him to change?”

Steve shook his head “No, he was so pleased with himself…plus, I don’t fancy that particular tantrum now do you?”

“Not really no.”

Steve shrugged “Then I guess I’m stuck with it. Come on, let’s get gone. Sooner we get there the sooner I can carry out my threat to kill your asshole brother.”

Steve grabbed the food hamper and headed out to the car with it, settling it onto the trunk of the car as Katie got into the passenger side. Once Steve finished his usual checks to ensure the door was locked, he climbed into the driver’s seat ant they set off.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah buddy?” Steve asked, glancing in the mirror automatically and once more was confronted by that fucking clown. He swallowed and turned his eyes to the front.

“No scared, daddy. I not a real clown.”

Katie chuckled as Steve pulled out of the drive onto the road. “I know pal, but it’s Halloween. Everyone gets scared at some point.”

Jamie nodded, accepting his answer and turned to look out of the window. As they approached a junction, Steve checked the mirror again and then sighed, shaking his head.

“You’re gonna hafta drive.” He looked at Katie.

“What?”

“I can’t do it.” He shrugged “Every time I check the mirror, all I can see is…”

“Are you being serious?” Katie looked at him.

“Absolutely.” Steve unclipped the seatbelt and climbed out of the car.

And right then Katie vowed that if Steve didn’t kill Tony, she was gonna.

****

December 2022

“Did he go down alright?”

Steve dropped onto the couch, picking up one of the super strength beers Thor had send him as part of a pre- Christmas testing package, lifting his arm up so Katie could settle into him.

“Very well, actually,” he narrowed his eyes taking a pull of his beer, “almost suspiciously so.”

Katie chuckled as she replaced her glass and dropped her head to Steve’s shoulder as she pressed play on the remote. The two of them simply stayed like that, the odd movement and hands stroking shoulders, thighs or knees as usual, comfortable in their own little world, the light of the fire and twinkling of the Christmas lights giving the room a cosy, comfy ambience. They were about thirty minutes into the film when, Katie felt Steve’s head move off the top of hers and she glanced at him and saw the beginnings of a smile forming on his face.

“What?”

He looked down at her. “You know,” he said, a light in his eyes that she knew all too well, “It’s Friday, Emmy’s out, Jamie’s in bed…” Steve trailed off and raised an eyebrow at his wife. She grinned too, mirroring his expression.

“I like where this is going,” she smirked and within seconds, her legs had been pulled from underneath her drawing a giggle from her lips as she lay flat on the sofa, Steve hovering over her. Katie wrapped her arms around his neck as their lips met, and she was just beginning to thread her fingers through his hair when they both heard a shout.

“Heeeeeyyyyy!”

Steve dropped his head and groaned. “I’ll go.”

He placed one last kiss on her lips before he stood up off the couch and headed into the hall way.

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” he said as he headed up the stairs, seeing Jamie stood in his doorway at the baby gate.

“No sleep.” Jamie’s response was a whine.

“Not an option pal” Steve shook his head, a hint of amusement in his voice. “You know Santa won’t come if you don’t.”

“Can’t sleep.” Jamie tried again, and Steve had to bite back the smile that was about to cross his face. His son had certainly inherited his, and his wife’s for that matter, tenacity.

“Did you even try?”

There was a pause and Jamie furiously nodded his head in a blatant lie.

“Sure you did.” Steve rolled his eyes “Well what do you think would help you sleep?”

“Story, daddy!”

At those words a smile spread across Steve’s face. Over the last six months, Jamie had taken a real interest in the tales he told him, so much so that they had swapped night time readings of chapters from books for Steve’s real life stories, most of them being pulled straight from the streets of Brooklyn or Manhattan during Steve’s own childhood or adulthood pre-serum. 

“One more.” Steve caved and Jamie shrieked with delight. “But!” he continued in a warning tone, “You have to be quiet.”

Jamie stilled immediately and clapped his little hands over his mouth before he turned and ran, diving back on his bed. Steve chuckled and made his into Jamie’s room, as the two year old climbed under his Iron Man Duvet cover (Thank you Tony for that one…) and peered up at Steve as he settled down next to him, his son setting under his arm, snuggling into the crook of his arm against his chest.

“Did I ever tell you about the time that I went to the theatre-”

Katie didn’t wait for Steve to come back down, she knew full well that he would have been coerced into one more story. Their son had his dad wrapped around his little finger, and Steve at times found it simply impossible to say no. She glanced up at the clock, noting that it was almost nine… they could watch the film in bed. She turned the TV and tree lights off, she took the empty glass and bottle into the kitchen, let Lucky out for a pee whilst she made sure all the doors were locked before letting the now slightly older and slower dog back in.

“You staying here tonight, Luck?” She asked, and the dog yawned, stretching as he rolled onto his back in the dog basket which was placed in the hallway under the stairs. “Take that as a yes then.” She scratched behind his ears before standing up and creeping up the stairs to the door of her son’s room, which was open enough for her to peek through.

She loved Steve’s stories almost as much as Jamie did, if not for the same reasons. Jamie loved their action and adventure, often joining in with his own loud whoops and laughs, but Katie simply loved listening to Steve’s voice as he narrated. His tone would change from low and dramatic to loud and comical, and Katie found it simply adorable. A pure, unadulterated moment of love between father and son that made her heart swell every single time she watched or overheard.

“And then, all of a sudden this man appeared, in the alley way. And I didn’t have anything to protect myself with. So I picked up a trash can lid, and held it right here, like a shield.” Steve drew his arm across his chest. “Like Cap?” Jamie said, thrusting his Captain America bear at his dad.

“Just like Cap, yeah, Buddy.” Katie smiled to herself, Jamie was still too young to really understand about their history with the Avengers. He knew about who the Avengers were, well what he could grasp being so young, thanks mainly to Tony and Natasha, but he had no idea about his dad’s alter ego. And for now, it wasn’t important, they were just a normal family and long may it stay like that.

Katie watched as Steve continued to talk as he sat up on Jamie’s bed, his back against the headboard as his mini-me, led besides him, looking up at his father, eyes wide and full of adoration. These were the moments that brought out all of Steve’s best characteristics, and Katie simply loved him all the more for it. Smiling to herself she headed into their bedroom and tossed her clothes aside before she stepped into the shower in their en-suite.

Steve could read his son’s body language like a book, and about ten minutes after his super hearing heard Katie leaving where she had been stood outside the room listening, he could feel the little boy starting to droop slightly, one small hand fisted into Steve’s white t-shirt, the other was in front of his small face, thumb in his mouth as his index finger gently rubbed against that Stark nose. A few moments later he glanced down and in the dim glow of the dinosaur night light, he saw his son was fast asleep. Gently, he moved and stepped off the bed, tucking the duvet up under Jamie’s chin before he stooped, dropping a kiss onto his head, his hand gently caressing the shock of blonde hair. With a last look back he closed the door to, leaving it open just a chink, and headed into their room.

Katie was just emerging from the en-suite wearing a bathrobe, long hair piled up on her head.

“He has you wrapped around his finger.” She grinned, sliding her hands up her husband’s chest.

“Oh, and you don’t?” He muttered, hands connecting at the bottom of her spine.

“You gonna read me a bed time story then, Captain?”

“I got a better way of getting you to sleep.” He murmured, dropping his lips to hers, and she grinned as he backed her towards the bed. “There’s only one problem.” “Oh yeah?” She asked, as his arms pulled her closer, his lips trailed down her neck, mopping up the speckles of water from the shower that remained.

“Yeah, this is in the way.”

He softly kissed at that spot beneath her ear, his hand dropping to the belt of her robe. She grinned as he pulled at the tie and gently shrugged the robe off Katie’s shoulders, allowing it to drop to the floor as his lips claimed hers again. He wrapped an arm round her back, tugging her onto her toes so he could take a nipple in his mouth and she let out a groan as she looked downwards, moving her hands to undo the chords on his sweat pants.

“Off.” She muttered, pulling at the bottom of his t-shirt. He released her temporarily so she could slide it up, before he pivoted and dropped them both onto the bed, trapping her in between his hands and legs.

A familiar warmth exploded along her lower abdomen as he kissed her, one hand on the side of her face, the other sliding to her hip and across her stomach, making its way slowly between her legs. She arched her back and groaned as he slipped two fingers inside her, feeling him smirk against her neck.

“Fucking drenched aren’t you, Sweetheart?”

She let out another groan at his words. “Only for you.” A low growl rolled in the back of his throat as he slammed his mouth onto hers, shucking off his sweats as he began to kiss her chest, then stomach, before going down her legs.  He set his mouth to her, lapping at her, her sweet, salty tang, so familiar yet so delectable, and as he worked her, it was all she could do to mewl softly, and grip one hand in his hair as she writhed at his touch. His tongue flicked strongly and he sucked at her clit gently, before upping the pace as she whimpered, trying so hard to keep her noise down. Steve continued to tease and nibble and when he took her swollen clit between his lips again Katie let out a silent scream as her orgasm hit her hard, causing her knees to turn inwards, squeezing around his head, involuntarily. She fell back against the pillows with a sigh of satisfaction and looked down as Steve crawled back up her body, leaning forward, placing his hands on either side of her head.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” He whispered, making her grin before he crashed his lips onto hers, the sudden action drawing a small grunt from her mouth. She reached down taking him in her hand and he took in a sharp breath as he pulled away from her mouth, sliding his fingers down her legs. He moved her legs apart and pushed into her, a low sigh of satisfaction leaving both their lips before he began to move, burying his face into her neck, nipping at the spot under her ear gently. She keened underneath him as he grew more urgent with his thrusts, her eyes locking onto his as he gripped her hands at either side of her head, leaning back down to kiss her fervently. He was hard, fast, desperate for hris release and she met each of his thrusts fervently with her own hips happy to give herself to him. 

“So good,” He praised in a low voice, dragging his face against her hair before he looked at her. “I’m close, tell me you are…”

Katie responded with a moan, “Stevie.” and then her legs shook and she came again, closing her eyes as she tightened around him, burying her face into his neck to stifle her noises as the spasms came involuntarily around him again and again.

“Oh, fuck, Doll.” he stuttered, biting his lower lip as his eyes fluttered closed before his rhythm stilled and he let out a soft groan as he came, the utter bliss consuming him fully. He fell forward, head dropping into the hollow of his wife’s neck to catch his breath, his body slumped on top of hers, his familiar weight pressed her into the mattress as they both came down from their high. Katie ran her fingers through his hair, pressing soft kisses along his shoulder as her nails gently scratched at his scalp, causing Steve to hum out a soft sigh of contentment as he lay still, enjoying her touch.

“Stevie?” she muttered.

“Yeah?” “How long do you think we have before Jamie realises he can climb the baby gates now?”

“I’m amazed he hasn’t already.” Steve leaned up on his elbows to look down at his wife “Why?”

“Because I think we might need to invest in a lock for our door.” she grinned “For when you’re reading your baby momma her bedtime story.”

*****

Chapter 49

 **Original Posting 1 2 3**

[madpanda75]

“Penance”

For @thatesqcrush’s kink bingo--I’ve been loving everyone’s contributions to the challenge so I thought I would try my hand at it!

Jonas Nightingale x Reader for the Gags square ( my first Jonas fic! Warning-- I’ve never seen “Leap of Faith so please be kind)

Double Warning: This is SUPER NSFW. There’s BDSM, ball gags, fisting, squirting, forced orgasms, and a pinch of priest kink (even though Jonas is a “reverend” not a priest)

Hold on to your butts and get your splash guards out!

Sam Nightingale sat cross-legged in front of the pulpit. A frigid blast slapped her in the face and she silently praised whoever invented air conditioning. Rather than pitching a tent and sweating her ass off in an abandoned field out in east Jesus nowhere, the local pastor had insisted that she and Jonas use his church for their revival.

With a glint in her eye, she gazed down at her lap overflowing with dollar bills. Ten. Twenties. Fifties. Even a few hundreds from the wealthier church patrons. Every dollar counted, she could hear a cash register cha-ching in her brain. Ah, the simple-minded naivety of the Midwest. It was like taking candy from a baby. “Damn, Jonas.” She shook her head in amazement. “We made bank today. Who knew Nebraskeners were so generous? I swear you wave around a Bible and the promise of redemption in front of folks and the money flows.”��

Her comments were greeted with silence. “Jonas?” She glanced up to see her brother lying on the front pew, staring up at the ceiling, lost in thought. “Hello? Earth to Jonas!” She grabbed her pack of menthols and chucked them at her brother, gaining his attention.

“Huh? Ya’ say something?” 

“Uhhh, yeah.” Sam made a show of flipping through a large wad of cash. “Here I am drowning in Benjamins and you’re out in la la land. What’s with you today?”

Jonas shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Nothing? You sure about that?” She walked over and knocked his feet off the pew, plopping down right next to him. “Cause you were distracted during the church service. I had to basically feed you your lines through the microphone. Please tell me you haven’t found your moral compass or something.”

He snorted a laugh. “Hell would freeze over before that happens.” Coming back to his senses, he spotted the sea of green nestled in his sister’s lap and whistled. “All that came from today?”

“Yep.”

“We should add an afternoon service if we stick around here. We’ll make twice as much.”

A dramatic sigh of relief below past Sam’s lips. “There’s the swindler I know and love. You had me worried there for a moment.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jonas grabbed the cash and began counting the bills when the door opened. “The Senior Bingo is being held around the corner in the rec room,” he said over his shoulder.

“Actually I’m looking for you,” a soft sultry voice called out. A voice that made Jonas whip his head around.

“It’s you,” he whispered and shot straight up out of the pew, the dollar bills in his lap now floating to the floor like confetti. 

Sam immediately began to pick up the stray money while Jonas stood there, staring at you. You were wearing a demure, white cotton sundress that screamed virgin, but the ruby red shade of your lipstick purred vixen. His sister was right, he had been distracted and now that distraction was standing in the middle of the aisle. He could feel his pants begin to bulge at the mere sight of you biting your bottom lip.

 “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” you said with an apologetic smile.

“Oh don’t worry about it.” Sam stood up and patted her brother on the back, noticing the way his demeanor changed the minute you walked through the door. “This guy has been out of it all day. Although I think I’m beginning to realize why.” 

Jonas glared at his sister before turning back to you. “How can I help you?”

You fidgeted a bit, wringing the leather strap of your purse. “Actually, I was hoping we could speak in private, Reverend.” 

“I’m gonna go check on that bingo. See if they have someone to call the numbers,” Sam said after an awkward pause. She gave Jonas a sly wink before walking out the door.

“Please have a seat.” Jonas ushered you to a pew. His heart was racing and sweat was beginning to bead on his forehead. There was something about you that made him nervous. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but whatever it was, you disarmed him completely. 

He took a deep breath and tried to recover. After all he was the King of Sin. If he could con people out of money under the guise of salvation, he could certainly handle talking to a beautiful woman.

 “I’m glad you came in today,” he said.

“You are?”

Jonas nodded his head and took a seat next to you. “I noticed you during the service. I could sense that something was weighing heavily on your soul.”

You looked down for a moment, hesitant to speak before finally confessing. “There is.” 

“Don’t be bashful.” He reached out and patted your knee in reassurance, his thumb gliding across your skin. “You can trust me. I help all those who are lost and right now you look like a little lamb that has strayed from the flock.”

“I...I... struggle with the sin of lust,” you replied in a voice barely above a whisper. Your cheeks turned bright red, nearly matching the shade of lipstick you were wearing.

Jonas felt his interest peak. “Go on,” he encouraged.

“I have certain...proclivities. I’ve tried to quell these dark desires, but I need help. My need is constant.” You let out a shaky breath, your eyes fluttering shut.

Little did you know, you were an answer to Jonas’ prayers (if in fact he ever did pray). It had been ages since he had gotten laid and you were just his type. It was as if the heavens opened and a choir of angels were singing ‘Hallelujah.’ He cleared his throat. “I think I can be of service.” 

“Thank you!” Relief washed over your face before you became serious. “But I have to warn you others have tried and failed.” You leaned forward, your knees now touching his. He could smell the seductive notes of your perfume: lotus blossom and black orchid. “Do you think you are up to the challenge?” you practically purred.

Jonas licked his lips and let his eyes drink you in from head to toe. He felt smugly satisfied noticing your heaving chest, the way your nipples hardened against the fabric of your dress. “Sure, I’ll guide you on my cock,” he thought. 

But rather than make this blunt point and risk you running out of the church, disgusted. He gently cupped your face and stared into your eyes with a deep sincerity. “I can assure you, I won’t stop until we tame the fire that burns deep within you. I am relentless in my dedication to saving souls.” 

What happened next sent shockwaves down the wily con artist’s spine. Parting your lips, you took his thumb into your mouth, sucking and gliding your tongue against the digit. Jonas gasped, feeling you bite down on the meaty flesh before pulling off with a pop. 

You tucked your purse under your arm and stood up, smoothing down your dress. “Thank you, Reverend. I’ll be in touch.” You went to the door before pausing and looking over your shoulder. “By the way, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”  With an innocent smile, you left Jonas sitting there, completely stunned. 

*****

The old secretary glanced up as soon as you walked into the church office. “The Reverend will be with you in a moment. Why don’t you take a seat.” She motioned towards a chair. 

“Thank you.” You sat down and crossed your legs, admiring your new black Louboutin heels. 

The sound of an old fire and brimstone preacher played from a radio on the secretary’s desk. “Fornication is not just a sin against another person. It is a sin against ourselves. It is self destructive and we must avoid it at all costs!”

You arched a brow at the secretary, who gave you a tight smile and turned down the volume. You couldn’t help but bite back a laugh. The irony of the sermon was not lost on you.

It had been three weeks since you met Jonas. You were in town for a few months visiting your grandmother and she insisted on dragging your butt out of bed to the sunrise Sunday service at her church. Luckily for you, instead of the regular reverend (who was as old as Methuselah), there was a handsome, charismatic guest preacher in his place. Having never been an avid church-goer before, you were quite taken with the eye candy professing salvation for all sinners from the pulpit. 

After the service, you dropped off your grandmother at her bingo game and decided to have a little fun by giving into your more baser instincts. How else were you supposed to entertain yourself in a dusty dried up old town? You knew how to play the game. With your chaste couture and coquettish ways, you caught Jonas Nightingale--hook, line, and sinker.

Just then Jonas walked into the office, freezing in his tracks the second he laid eyes on you. “Ms. Y/L/N.” He took off his aviator shades and smirked. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“I know we had a session yesterday, but I think I need more spiritual guidance.” You ran a delicate hand down the slope of your neck and gave him a shy smile.

Jonas ran his tongue across his teeth, a low growl emanating from his chest. “Of course, please step into my office.” You stood up and followed him. Before shutting the door, Jonas turned towards the secretary. “Why don’t you get out of here and take a long lunch.”

“Are you sure?” the secretary asked, leaning over the desk to try and peek into his office.

“Absolutely. It’s been a slow day. Go out. Live a little.” Jonas sighed in relief, watching as she grabbed her purse and needlepoint. She was on loan to him from the church. The woman was your typical nosy, uptight old bat with a stick up her ass, but she made great coffee and would bring in freshly baked cookies every week.

As soon as the secretary left, he stepped into his office and locked the door. “I thought you were supposed to come by tonight. Just couldn’t wait, could ya?” he teased and removed his shirt, leaving him in a black tank top. 

You bit your bottom lip, staring at his muscular arms. “I had to come here.”

“Oh you did?” 

You blushed and fidgeted with your coat. “You see, I was very, very naughty. I was thinking about you all morning and I had to touch myself. I sinned, Reverend and you told me that those who disobey God’s laws must do penance.” You made a show of unbuttoning your coat and letting it fall to the floor, revealing that you were completely naked.

Jonas stalked up to you, looking like the big bad wolf. He walked in a slow circle around you, inspecting every inch of your flesh before stopping right behind you and grabbing your hips, pulling you flush to him. His lips brushed over your pulse point and all too soon he walked away.

With the crook of his finger, he beckoned you over to the chair in front of his desk. You obliged his silent request and sat down. Sinking to his knees before you, he planted a brutal, bruising kiss on your lips, thrusting his tongue into your mouth. He pulled away and went over to his desk. “You remember the safe word?” he asked, opening a drawer.

“Bakker,” you replied. 

Jonas chuckled. When you two began these escapades, you picked “Bakker” for your safe word. The last name of the infamous Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, two TV televangelists who were found guilty of fraud in the 80s. It was your subtle way of telling Jonas that you saw right through him and didn’t believe his act for a second. As long as your grandmother didn’t give him any money, his secret was safe with you. Besides, Jonas was just as much a freak as you were and he was the best sex you ever had.

Reaching into the drawer, he pulled out several items, one of them being a blindfold. “You know, I can’t promise that I’ll be gentle,” he purred as he covered your eyes.

A smile tugged at your lips. “You should know by now that I don’t want you to be gentle. Don’t hold back.”

“Challenge accepted,” Jonas thought as he grabbed some nylon ropes. He grabbed your arms and began to tie them behind the chair.

Your pulse quickened in anticipation. “Tighter,” you demanded in a breathy moan.

He yanked the ropes taut making you gasp. “Let me be the judge of that,” he growled, biting your earlobe. He spread your legs, tying each one to the leg of the chair. Your pussy glistened as you were already wet from masturbating all morning. The scent of your arousal filled his nostrils and made his cock twitch.

Tied and blindfolded, you thought Jonas would get down to business, but he had a few more surprises up his sleeves. He took out a white ball gag with a leather strap and some honey. After squirting some honey onto the ball gag, he cupped your chin and forced your mouth open. “Don’t you dare spit this out,” he threatened, fastening the leather strap behind your head.

You felt the ball wedge between your teeth. The sweet hit of the honey coating your tongue. Jonas has done his research. He knew that the combination of the honey and the ball gag would make you drool, giving you that hint of humiliation you craved. 

He sat back on his haunches and admired his work: the knots of nylon binding you to the chair, the way your lips wrapped around the ball gag, the rise and fall of your flushed chest. You were a work of art. Michelangelo had the Sistine Chapel and Jonas had you.

He knelt down and kissed the top of your right foot before slowly dragging his tongue up your leg, nibbling on your inner thighs and then trailing down your left leg, planting a final kiss on your left foot. 

He parted your swollen pussy lips and licked your pink, quivering flesh, reveling in the way you whimpered and squirmed. When he wrapped his mouth around your clit, you jerked forward only to remember that you were restrained. He alternated between fucking you with his tongue and lapping at your clit. Being blindfolded only heightened your senses and right now it felt like Jonas was eating you out as if you were an all you can eat pancake breakfast.

You threw your head back and moaned, trying to arch your hips to give him even more access to your core. He reached his hands up and began to massage your breasts, pinching your nipples until they swelled and ached in pleasure. Your thighs began to shake and Jonas knew you were close. One final tweak of your taut nipple and your orgasm rippled through you. 

Jonas groaned and nodded his head vigorously, flicking against your nub as you rode out your ecstasy. “Jonas!” you wailed in a muffled tone, although the ball gag was preventing you from speaking much. 

He hummed in contentment and smacked his lips together, tracing your entrance with a single digit. You squeaked in surprise.“Shhh,” he cooed. “Calm down, my angel. We’ve barely begun. How many fingers do you think you can take? One?”

You shook your head no.

“Two?”

You shook your head again. Jonas arched a brow, even though you couldn’t see him. He knew what you wanted. When he got up to five. You nodded. 

“So fucking greedy.” He spread you even wider. “You think you can take it?”

You nodded once more and undulated your hips. He began to finger fuck you, starting with his index finger, thrusting into you hard and fast while pressing on your clit until you howled. The second finger, he scissored you, slowly stretching you out, stroking your walls, studying the way you whimpered and wailed. He slowly added a third digit, finding that secret spot within you that so few men ever find. 

The buildup was unbearable as your hips stuttered forward, coming once more. Even though you were soaking wet, Jonas squirted lube onto his fourth finger firmly believing in the philosophy of, “the wetter, the better.” He slowly moved in and out of you, swiping against your clit. 

With each digit he added, you came harder and harder. Tears slid down your face from underneath your blindfold. Your muscles began to spasm, your nerve endings tingled. Jonas cruelly laughed. “Look at you, creaming on my fingers like a little slut.” 

You wailed out another orgasm in response. How long had you been sitting there? Hours? Your body experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. Every time you came, you loathed it. You craved it. You wanted him to stop. No, don’t stop! Don’t ever, ever, ever stop! You wanted more and more and more and that’s exactly what Jonas gave you.

After adding even more lube, he tucked his thumb into his palm, tapering his fingers and slowly penetrating you, pushing past the knuckles until his entire hand was deep inside you. Jonas had never fisted anyone before, but you had untapped desires within him that he had no idea even existed.

He began to rock his large hand back and forth. You sobbed in pleasure. You were stretched and filled to the brim, feeling tremendous pressure. You couldn’t catch your breath. Being tied, blindfolded, and gagged, all you could do was take it. While fisting you, Jonas leaned forward and began sucking on your clit. 

Your muffled moans of “Oh fuck! Oh yes! Yes! Yes!” filled the room as he unleashed his torture on your slick, hot cunt. He crooked and wiggled his fingers, massaging your G-spot. You screamed in ecstasy. Your orgasm was earth shattering. You felt a gush of liquid and squirted all over Jonas’ face.

“That’s it, my sweet angel. Squirt for me,” he groaned, almost coming in his pants at the sensation of your sweet nectar all over his face, a puddle amassing beneath your chair.

Jonas slowly took his hand out, one finger at a time. He reached up and cupped your face, you could feel your arousal from his one hand, coating your cheek. “You’re not done yet. I want one more from you,” he commanded as he began to unbound you.

You meekly nodded your head. He gave you an open mouth kiss over your ball gag and gently lifted you up so he could sit down. You were still blindfolded. The sound of a zipper and rustling of his denim, alerted you that he had taken out his cock.

You rocked against his length, his crown rubbing against your overly sensitive clit. Moving at a snail’s pace, you sank down onto his cock. Jonas’ fingers may have been long and thick, but nothing could replace being filled by his cock. After your initial meeting, you quickly understand why the man exuded a prowess on the church stage, swinging his big dick energy at anyone with a pulse. 

Jonas let out a strangled moan and grabbed your hips, encouraging you to fuck him.

You bounced up and down on his cock. He had given you so much pleasure and now you wanted to return the favor. You contracted your muscles, squeezing around him. Drool dribbled down your chin and onto your breasts from the combination of the honey and the ball gag. He lowered his head to lap it up and suck your nipples.

Smothered by your chest, he growled and gripped your hips, thrusting up into you. Your head lolled back. You loved this, being used as a sex toy. Your whole body screamed. Take me! Devour me! I’m yours! 

The wooden chair creaked and was on the verge of breaking, but neither of you cared. “Fuck! Jesus! Jonas!” you mumbled, climaxing one final time, your vision fading to black while riding out your orgasm. Pain and pleasure melding together.

Jonas’ hips began to stutter. “Oh Y/N!” he moaned. “I’m coming! I’m coming!” He grunted like an animal, pulsing inside you, filling you with his cum. His body tensed, coming so much that it seeped out of you and pooled around the base of his cock, creating a mess. Not that either of you noticed, you were both already plastered in sticky sweat

You went limp and melted against him, snuggling into the crook of his neck, mewling like a kitten. Once Jonas caught his breath, he pulled you away to take off the gag and blindfold. Gazing up at you with the sunlight illuminating your face, that feeling of disarmament overpowered him once more. He was completely at your mercy, bared to you. There was no escaping your trance. 

This was meant to be your penance. Your punishment. But instead, it was Jonas that choked out one final word, “Amen.”

Tag List:

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[victoria-daydreams]

Of Vices and Virtues

Chapter Eighteen: The Night Before

AN: Get in losers, we’re going to Cuba.

Word Count: 3.0k

Trigger Warnings: none

Taglist: @azayamari

Chapter Nineteen: The Embargo Line

I had woken up early, as I always did. I loved watching the sunrise, the bright sun illuminated my room as I paced worriedly up and down my room. I had every right to be worried, there was the very real threat of possible war at hand. It also didn't help that I was running on three hours of sleep, at most I probably managed to get four hours of sleep. All in all, I'm a jittery mess right now.

"You keep pacing up and down, you'll put a hole in the floor," a voice quipped softly. I whirled around and saw Charles standing in the frame of the door looking dapper in his three piece suit, I didn't even hear the door open. "You're scared," he noted, still using the same tone.

"Of course I'm scared," I repeated almost incredulously, I walked over to the window. "Because what if we can't stop this? What if World War III is inevitable?" I stared out at the burning sun of the morning, overthinking.

Charles' footsteps came closer to me until he stood behind me, surrounding my waist with his left arm.

"Everything will be alright, love," he assured me with a smile.

"I hope you're right," I murmured softly, before I looked over my shoulder at Charles with a confused expression. "I don't understand, why are you being so kind to me? I...I betrayed you yesterday," I sighed, shaking my head.

"Because in some strange way I understand why you did it," Charles began, taking his free hand and pulling some of my hair behind my ear. "I know what kind of woman you are Claudia, you're kind and loving, but you hide behind an ice queen exterior because you’re afraid of what might happen if you opened yourself up to a man. You’re afraid of getting hurt again," he replied, as if the thoughts could not be contained and he just had to voice them.

Charles pulled me closer to him and placed a kiss on my temple before surrounding me with both of his arms.

"The night we first met I couldn't help but observe your behavior. You treated the men like playthings, for you, it’s better that way. Keep them at arm's length and you don't get hurt," he paused, as I slowly placed my hands on top of his. "You never said you loved me the night we danced in the library. You also avoided saying the word relationship the very next day," Charles recalled softly, and I felt a slight pang of sorrow hit me.

"I should've known that you would've observed that," I sighed in his arms, dropping my head down.

"You're afraid of being vulnerable, Claudia," Charles stated. "You're afraid that history will repeat itself. You're afraid of us failing, but I'll wait for you Claudia," he finished, pulling away and held my hand. "Come on, love, we have a long day in front of us," he said starting to walk out of the room.

Everyone met in the main foyer of the mansion, well everyone except Hank, he never appeared. Suspicious and concerned for Hank's abnormal absence we decided to go to his lab and look for him. Pinned to the wooden doors of the lab was a note written in black marker on a piece of paper that read, 'Gone to the airbase, bring the crate marked X - Hank'

Charles pulled off the note, and opened the door. Inside was a disaster. Shattered glass, broken furniture, and things strewn about. He began to make his way through the mess and we followed slowly behind him.

"What the hell happened here?" Erik asked, sounding slightly concerned. Partly for Hank's well-being, but mostly as to how he could have made such a mess. I couldn't blame him, I to was concerned as to how Hank had managed this.

Charles ignored him and headed to the crate marked 'X' and opened it, all of us peering inside, revealing a folded pile of navy blue and yellow suits.

"Hank has been busy," Erik commented, looking over Charles' shoulder.

I peered down at the suits, my nose slightly turned up in distaste, "God, this shade of yellow doesn't even suit me," I stated, earning a small chuckle from Erik.

"Do we really have to wear these?" Alex questioned, causing me to laugh softly.

Charles didn't look up from the crate, "As none of us are mutated to endure extreme G-force or being riddled with bullets, I suggest we suit up," Charles answered, with a hint of snarkiness.

Charles quickly distributed the suits and we all left the destroyed lab to go get changed into them. Raven, Moira, and I dressed in the ladies room. The suits were made of material that looked like, but wasn't quite leather. But it was surprisingly comfortable. Moira suit's was different, she wore a army green suit issued by good ol' Uncle Sam himself.

You know, it was very thoughtful of Hank to go out of his way to make these suits for the team, but he didn't really consider the possibility that the female body was slightly different to the male body. I almost broke a sweat trying to squeeze my hips and upper body into the leathery material. I looked around and could see Raven having the same problem. I left the room to see if the boys were finished getting dressed, only to see that Erik was the first person out. I tried not to stare, but Erik looked even more dangerously handsome.

The bastard.

Silently, I turned around and began to creep back into the room, I would of made it had I not stepped on a particular spot of the floor which let out a loud creak.

"Claudia?" Erik called, and my back stiffened.

I slowly turned on my heel and faced him, "Erik," I greeted, with a tight-lipped smile as I moved slightly closer to him.

"About last night-" he began.

"There's nothing to discuss," I interjected, glancing down at my hands to break his gaze. "I think the both of us made that very clear," I continued, lifting my eyes back to Erik and studying his face.

He looked a little tired and I guessed he had trouble sleeping, whether it was from our passionate kiss, argument, or possibly both I couldn't tell.

Erik sighed and just nodded his head, "Fine," he breathed out. "But Claudia, I want you to do something today not for me, but for yourself," Erik requested, taking a step forward.

"And what's that?" I asked curiously.

"Don't hold back today,"

~~~x~~~

After everybody was dressed we made our way to the airfield to find Hank. Once we reached the airbase, he was still nowhere to be found. What we did see, though, was a sleek and fast looking jet. I stared at the jet in front of me in awe. I knew Hank was a genius, but this was amazing.

"Where's Hank?" Raven asked, looking left and right for any sign of the missing scientist.

All of us turned to her not really sure how to answer her question when a voice echoed through the building.

"I'm here," a voice called out gravelly, walking towards us.

It came from right in front of us. In the blinding light from outside, a figure could be seen walking towards us. The figure looked to be taller and slightly bigger than a man. The outline got closer and it didn't look like a man quite as much anymore.

"Hank?" Charles asked, sounding puzzled.

"It didn't attack the cells, it enhanced them," Hank stated, looking down in shame. "It didn't work," he said with disappointment obviously in his voice.

Once he got closer, everyone gasped slightly. This didn't look like Hank at all. The 'man' that stood before us had a thick layer of electric blue fur covering his body. He had turned into some sort of animal. Although, Hank's signature glasses were the only thing that made him, well, Hank.

Raven reached out to him, "Yes, it did, Hank," she told him. "Don't you see? This is who you were meant to be. This is you," she caressed his cheek. "No more hiding,"

Erik cleared his throat, before he clapped his hand against Hank's shoulder, "Never looked better man," he commented foolishly.

I had to physically stop myself from slapping a hand to my forehead. Jesus Christ, Erik could be a downright idiot sometimes. Hank's hand swiftly found it's way to Erik's throat, choking him.

"Hank," Charles warned, stepping closer to him.

Hank ignored him and leaned closer towards Erik, glaring into his eyes, "Don't mock me," he growled, tightening his grip on Erik's neck.

"Hank, put him down immediately, please," Charles ordered. "Hank. Hank!" he pleaded some more.

From the looks of it, Hank wasn't letting go anytime soon and Erik's face began to turn a nasty shade of purple. As much as he probably deserved it, this needed to be stopped. I stepped forward from beside Charles and placed a hand on Hank's shoulder.

I spoke calmly, "Hank, let him go," Hank let go and Erik dropped to his knees.

Erik looked up at Hank, his voice was raspy, "I wasn't," he breathed out, and I leaned down to help Erik up.

"Are you all right?" I asked, and he just nodded.

Erik rubbed his throat, "Better now," he answered quietly just for my ears to hear.

I rolled my eyes at him, shaking my head slightly as a small smile crept on my lips.

"Even I got to admit you look pretty badass," Alex began, interrupting our side conservation. "I think I got a new name for you, Beast," Alex announced proudly, and Hank gave a growl.

"You're sure you can fly this thing?" Sean asked looking at Hank, then back at the jet.

Hank might have looked like a beast, but at the mention of the jet he was normal, geeky Hank again, "Of course I can. I designed it," he answered, and gave him a smug smile before making his way towards the jet, all of us following behind him.

~~~x~~~

We raced over the fleet of ships on the edge of Cuba with Hank in the captain's seat, Moira on the communications controls and the rest of us lined up in the seats on the sides. All of us harnessed in.

Everyone was dead silent in the jet. I could feel the fear and adrenaline from everyone. It was overwhelming, truth be told. I felt like I was going to be sick and that I was going to vomit. Each and every person were thinking of ways this mission could turn south, if we didn't make it better. If we don't pull this off, WWIII could start and everyone would die. This was something everyone and myself couldn't help but think this way.

"It looks pretty messy down there," Hank mumbled as he flew the jet around the Embargo Line.

Looking over at Charles, I watched as he raised his finger to his temple, searching for where we would find Shaw.

Charles' eyes snapped open, "The crew of the Aral Sea are all dead. Shaw's been there," he informed.

Erik leaned up in his seat and gripped the sides, "He's still here, somewhere," he insisted.

He was mad. And frustrated.

"He's set the ship on course for the embargo line!" Charles exclaimed, turning to Moira.

"That ship crosses the line; our boys are going to blow it up. And the war begins," she replied worriedly.

"And Shaw wins," I stated grimly.

"Unless they're not our boys," Charles reasoned, and we all looked to him questioningly.

I watched as he raised his finger to his temple again, screwing his face up in concentration. Moments later, chaos surrounded us. A blaring alarm went off before Hank jerked the plane into a roll trying to avoid something that was obviously come straight towards us.

"Hold on!" Charles' warning coming a bit too late.

Hank gave a snarl as tried to adjust the plane. I screamed in panic along with everybody else and felt Alex grip my arm and quickly flipped my hand around grabbed his hand as the jet went totally upside down and then finally righted as I just caught the cargo ship exploding out the window.

"A little warning next time Professor," Hank spoke back as I struggled to take a couple deep breaths.

"Sorry about that," He apologized sounding slightly embarrassed, and looked over to Raven, who had screamed right along with me. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Both she and Sean responded, but it was Sean who looked the most shaken up as he drew in a slow breath.

"You alright?" Alex asked, looking at me.

I breathed deeply once more, moving my hair out of my face, "Never been better," I quipped breathlessly.

Everyone caught their breath, "That was inspired Charles," Moira complimented dryly, while flipping some switches in front of her.

"Thank you very much, but I still can't locate Shaw," he mumbled, still holding his fingers to his temple.

"He probably wearing that helmet of his," I spoke up, gathering Charles attention.

"Then that's going to cause us a big problem," he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Erik was becoming increasingly angry and frustrated, "He's down there. We need to find him now!" he urged.

"Hank?" Charles called, looking to their pilot.

"Is there anything unusual on the radar or scanners?" Hank asked Moira.

Moira took a second to respond, "No, nothing," she answered, shaking her head.

Hank was exasperated, "Well then he must be underwater," he said begrudgingly. "And obviously we don't have sonar," he continued grumbling.

"Yes we do," Sean looked determined and confident, not cocky, not like the usual Sean.

I looked over with a small smile, getting his point.

"Yes we do," Charles repeated, with renewed vigor as he quickly pulled off his headset and started to undo his harness with Erik while Sean was already moved across to the hatch by the handles in the top. "Hank, level the bloody plane," Charles shouted as he and Erik tried to move across the tilted floor, same as Sean had been doing. I felt the whoop in my stomach as he did finally allowing them to walk.

Sean looked alarmed as Erik got closer, "Whoa," he called as he turned around and saw Erik moving to cross the hatch to stand on the same side as Charles and him. "You back right off," he demanded, probably having flashbacks about his second flying lesson where Erik had shoved him off the satellite. I let out a smile and with a small chuckle, Erik raised his hands and took a step back. Sean looked to Hank.

"Beast! Open the Bombay doors!" he called up.

With wide eyes I watched as the doors opened, filling the cabin with roaring wind and could only see Charles yelling at Sean, trying to lecture him before he dropped out of the plane not before giving him a pat on the back and he took a step back. Sean positioned himself at the doors and it was then as I looked to Charles' mouth that I could see him counting down before Sean jumped out with a shout. With Hank closing the doors all of us looked to Charles while Moira warned the other ships.

Moira talked into the radio, "Alert the fleet, they may want to take their cans off,"

There was a tense silence and the only noise I could hear was the engine and the wind. Charles yelled, "Banshee's got a location on Shaw!" He turned to look at Erik. "You ready for this?" He asked Erik.

"Let's find out," he nodded and gripped onto the side of the plane as Charles relayed the information to Hank who flipped around the jet. Then slowing down he lowered the jets landing gear with Erik on one of the wheels.

A moment or two passed in silence until I could hear a rumbling sound emerging from the water. It was muffled for quite some time, until it got louder and louder. I looked out the windows and my widened my eyes in amazement, right before my eyes was Shaw's submarine floating in the air. Hank, pushed forward, making us go a little faster and higher taking it out of my view, but when Charles lunged forward I knew that something was wrong.

I felt a sudden sense of dread coming from both Charles and Erik. Something was going wrong. Very, very wrong.

Charles was desperate and I could hear him as yelled for Erik, "Erik, take my hand!"

"Hold on guys, it's gonna get bumpy!" Hank called over the headset.

It was then we all looked forward and saw it was a tornado. Like what happened at the CIA base. Only this time we were on a plane, nothing good could come of this. Quickly, I clamped my eyes shut and worked on taking a deep breath as I felt a familiar energy around my hands and then quickly pushed it around us, making my largest force field ever. Instantly the plane leveled out, but the whirlwind on the outside was eager to get in.

"I can't hold it for long!" I called, my hands beginning to shake. "Get Erik's ass in here now!" I yelled, trying to keep my hands steady.

"Erik, take my hand!" Charles shouted as it started to flicker and the jet bumped a little to the side, jolting us all and knocked my concentration a little more.

"Breathe," Alex spoke from my other side as I felt Hank jolt forward, trying to get out of the storm and it only seemed to fight back. Groaning, I felt the strain and gritted my teeth as it flickered again and we jolted.

"Let it go!" Charles shouted and I took it that Erik was inside and without warning I released the force field, sending us into a spiral.

I flicked open my eyes just as Erik pounced in Charles, pinning him to the ground like a high powered magnet as we crashed to the ground with the sound of screeching metal. The last thing I remembered, before blacking out, was seeing the plane crash onto the beach.

Chapter Twenty: The Cuban Missile Crisis

[cilldaracailin]

We Are The Champions

Hello my Tumblr Lovely’s,

Happy Tuesday except for me it is a Happy Thursday as today is my Thursday as I have a long weekend ahead of me! Woohoo! Can’t wait! Really wanna go and get a new piercing but it is such an effort to get into Dublin now with all the stuff going on... Anywhoo, here is the next part to this story.

So quick question... Who is ready for some drama? Raise your hand.

Oh you are? Brilliant!

Your wish is my command!

Suze xx.

As always, I do not know Taron and this story is all fiction and a story and is not a true representation of Taron and his family. All made up.

10

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”

After nearly two hours of lazing in the sun, Robyn who had been laying on her stomach got to her knees and took the air pod from her ear. She rubbed her eyes and looked to her left, Tina sitting on her deck chair reading a book, Guy and the girls nowhere around. To her right, Taron lay on his back but he wasn’t asleep as she could see him tapping along to the song on his stomach.

“Hey rocketman.” She saw him turn to look at her. “You promised me a laze about, a picnic, a swim but also a stroll. Wanna go for a walk?”

Taron grinned and nodded. “Please.” He sat up. “It is good to stetch out some muscles after sunbathing.”

“Make-up are really going to have tone you down.” Robyn laughed as she stood up, reaching for Taron’s hands to help him up.

“Matthew knew what he was doing letting me go for the weekend. He knew my plans.” He took a step closer to her. “And at last I see those freckles returning.” He tapped her nose. “Only took a year.”

“Don’t get used to them. They will be gone the next time you see me.” She saw his face fall a little. “Come on. You owe me a stroll.” Linking her arm with his, she led him towards his mam.

“Tried of catching some sun?” Tina asked, putting her book down.

“Taron promised me a stroll.” Robyn answered truthfully.

“Guy and the girls went for a walk too. Bit disappointed they never got their second sandcastle.” She grinned. “He told them they needed to search for special stones for their castle so they have wandered off with their buckets.”

“We will help them when we come back.” Robyn replied.

“No rush. The girls will want to search the whole beach for the perfect stones. They will be a while yet. Go. Enjoy a walk. The crowds have whittled down a bit. Lot of people have headed home.”

Making their way to the water, Taron took the inside, closest to the water, Robyn beside him but she ran a few steps away from him when he used his foot to splash her.

“None of that!” Robyn chuckled, keeping her distance from him, but when he grinned reaching out for her hand, she took it and moved back beside him now both walking through the waves a little. “And don’t be sad either.”

“Sad?” He asked, making sure to link his fingers with hers.

“I know we have been quite lucky with how much we have seen each other lately and we just don’t know when it will happen again.”

“And I am so bloody close to you but yet it hasn’t worked at all in our favour.”

“Hey now, you still have lots of time left in Belfast.”

“But it is mixed in with all the travelling back and forth to London.” He laughed as Robyn dropped his hand and gave him a hard push with her two hands, Taron stumbling into the water, his green shorts getting wet.

“Robyn! What was that for?” He shook his wet hands at her, before pulling her into him, the water drops on his skin pressing onto hers, hearing her laugh more. “Seriously? You said stroll.” He rolled his eyes as she still laughed at him and without thinking swung his left arm around her, pulling her close into him. “Evil woman.”

“I want you smiling, not sad.” Robyn answered him, sliding her right arm around his back to his waist, her left hand touching his fingers on her shoulder. “We have been here before. We know we will see each other again and we know we can’t really plan it and it just happens but I don’t want to see you sad because that makes me sad and I have had the best weekend. Best in a long time actually. We will work it out. We always do.”

Taron agreed with a kiss to her temple. “I have loved this weekend.”

“Snowman and all?” Robyn asked laughing.

“I swear, I can pick you up and chuck you in the ocean again.”

“Oh yeah?” Robyn teased, tickling his side.

“Robyn, I will do it.” Taron said as he dropped his arm from her shoulders, stopping their walk suddenly. “You know I will.”

“You gotta catch me first!” Robyn took to a run, a run at full speed, as best she could on the wet sand, her feet sinking into the sand making it hard to run and she knew Taron would be right on her heels and as expected and perhaps quicker than she thought, Taron was right behind her. She heard him laughing and kept on running, dodging people on the water line, which gave her a bit more of an advantage on the gap between them, as Taron had to also avoid colliding with people who were still on the beach. Robyn could feel her heart racing with excitement and kept up her pace with no idea how close or far Taron was from her and she jumped and shouted when he grabbed her right around the waist, lifting her up and against him.

“Got you! And now you are going in!” Taron had chased after Robyn, smiling at her ridiculously silly antics but he loved her for it and eagerly ran after her, cursing as the people in the water got in his way, Robyn getting quite far ahead of him. He picked up some speed and ground when there was a clear path through and even though she was still running, he caught up with her and wrapped his arms around her tightly, stopping her, lifting her from the sand with his two arms, cradling her against his chest. “Right. You’re in for it now chicken!”

Taron got three steps into the water when his head turned on hearing someone shouting his name and not just shouting it, but roaring it.

“TARON!”

With Robyn still in his arms, he stopped, the waves lapping at his calves, his head turned to see Guy running his way looking extremely flustered and upset. Taron carefully set Robyn down and met his step-dad on the sand.

“Taron…” Guy was breathless from his run. “Have… you…” He placed his hand on his chest and the other on his step-sons shoulder.

“Guy, take your time.” Taron felt Robyn come and stand beside him.

“Guy?” She asked seeing the distress on his face. “What’s going on?”

“Mari.” Guy managed to get out, finally catching his breathe. “Have either of you seen Mari?”

Robyn looked to Taron and saw his whole face pale, his eyes wide. “Not since the picnic. Mam said you went with the girls to look for stones for a sandcastle.”

“And we did. We were up at the other end of the beach and were looking for the stones and the two girls were right beside me. Rosie found a stone and was showing me and I turned around and Mari was gone.”

“Guy…” Taron placed his two hands on the older man shoulders.

“She has gone wandering and I can’t find her. Your mam is worried sick.”

Robyn could see the worry immediately set hard in Taron’s face, the same fear in Guy’s face too.

“You searched where you were?” Taron asked. “All around the other end of the beach? She didn’t go to mam to show her stones?”

“No Taron!” Guy snapped. “She isn’t there. She isn’t with your mam and Tina even called Eve to see if Mari walked to the café and she isn’t there either. Tina was nearly in the sea searching for Mari until I pulled her out. We can’t find her anywhere.”

“Did you check…”

“Everywhere Taron!” Guy yelled, his hands going to his face.

Robyn stepped in front of Taron and reached back to take his hand, giving it a very reassuring squeeze. “Ok let’s just take thirty seconds.” She kept speaking quickly before Guy got any more upset or angry. “First off, Mari knows not to go near the water. It is something that she was taught from a very early age so I am very sure you can cross that off your list.” She saw Guy’s raised shoulders hitch a little higher. “And second, she is a smart little girl. She knows where your family was sitting, where to go.”

“Because you know my child so well?” Guy said to Robyn, almost spitting the words her way. “You think because you came dressed as a Disney princess and did some face paint, you know my children?”

“Guy!” Taron was taken aback at how he had spoken to Robyn and went to move to stand beside Robyn, giving her hand a very tight squeeze.

“No Taron. My eight-year-old daughter has gone missing and she thinks she can just talk her way…”

“She was trying to help!” Taron replied angrily.

“Ok. Ok enough!” Robyn turned to Taron. “Enough.” She looked to Guy then. “Why don’t you take Taron as you were going to do and I will walk the water up and down and keep an eye out.”

“Robyn…”

“Go with guy Taron. I will walk the water’s edge up and down.” She placed a calming hand on his shoulder. “Get your mam to stay at the deck chairs in case she comes back to that spot. Check the bathrooms too.”

Without another look at either of the men, Robyn side stepped around Taron and kept on walking in the direction they had been going, looking left and right for any sign of Mari, Taron watching her walk away from him, before turning back this his step-dad.

“Seriously?” He asked with a clear heated tone. “She was trying to help.”

“I don’t need her help. I need my daughter back.” Guy barked.

“And that was what Robyn was trying to do!” Taron walked around Guy and with speed, headed back along the shore. “Help get your daughter, my sister back with advice and suggestions on finding her. What you said to her, Jesus Guy.” Taron’s speed increased knowing he hadn’t far to go to get back to where their deck chairs were. “Talk about cutting her to the core. Robyn gave her everything to that party yesterday.”

“Takes more than a dress and some flapjacks to raise a family Taron.” Guy replied bitterly

“And it takes her patience, unbelievable kind and caring nature and sane advice to try and help us!” Taron shouted turning on his heels, water splashing around him. “Robyn doesn’t just panic in a situation like this. She stops and thinks it through, putting reasonable logic and perspective on what is going on, trying to keep calm and…”

“My daughter is missing!” Guy yelled.

“And Robyn was helping you find her! I know you are worried and I can understand this is stressful for you and mam but wouldn’t you rather have someone who is calm and composed, coming up with some helpful suggestions on first how to find Mari but second to ease some of your worries. She was helping, trying to alleviate your concerns and she was right. Mari knows well to stay away from the water and has done since she was little. She won’t go near it.”

“Taron, Robyn is not a part of our family and this is something for our family to be involved in.”

He felt his hands curling into fists by his sides and the exhale from his lungs was angry and suddenly Taron was fuming. “She is the reason I am still alive and here and you only have a tiny notion of what she did for me in the 7/11 during the most horrific experience of my life. As far as I am concerned Robyn deserved every right to be a part of my family when she put her hands on my chest, her lips on mine and gave me my life back. You would rather she just walked away when Richard called for help?” Taron took a step closer to Guy, his face just a few centimetres from him. “Robyn is my family and always will be and you will not speak to her like that.” Taron’s voice grew low, almost growling at his step-dad. “When we find Mari, you will apologise to her and apologise sincerely.” Turning around, Taron all but stormed up the beach, seeing his mam standing up, frantically looking around for Mari. Trying to calm himself down, Taron took to a light run to her. “Mam…”

“Oh Taron!” Tina threw her arms around him and buried her face into his shoulder. “She’s gone missing.” She quickly took her head away from his shoulder and placed her hands on his cheeks. “What has happened?” She saw Taron try to soften his face but his eyes were hard set. “Taron…”

“Nothing mam.”

“Taron…”

“Mam, not now.”

“Where is Robyn?” Tina had been so used to seeing her son stuck to Robyn all weekend, she looked around trying to spot her. She felt her husband come stand beside her and looked at his face and then back to her sons. “Right, what on earth is going on? Robyn?”

“Robyn has continued to walk along the shore towards the rocks, the way we had been walking.” Taron explained. “She is going to stay along the water’s edge and walk up and down.”

“Mari knows to stay away from the water when we are not with her.” Tina said firmly.

“That’s exactly what Robyn told Guy.” Taron answered, staring at his step-dad.

“But she still stayed at the water?” Tina asked.

“She thought maybe Mari would look for some smaller stones at the shore so said she would keep an eye out as she walked up and down.”

“Taron, I am really worried. Eve hasn’t seen her. She has taken Rosie for me to walk along the prom, hoping to catch her from a height. It’s not like Mari to just walk away from her dad.”

Taron reached for his mam’s hands. “Ok first off, let’s not panic. Mari has wandered off somewhere looking for stones and is on the beach. We all know she is not in the water. You have drilled that into all of us. Stay away from the water. Eve and Rosie have the prom covered; Robyn is walking the shore. I will take the left side of the beach and Guy is going to take the right side and we will search up and down both sides. Mam you stay here at the seats.”

“Taron, I can’t. I need to go and look for her.”

“Mam I understand you are worried but if Mari strolls back here and there is no one at the deck chairs, then she will get upset and scared. You stay here and I know it is hard not to look with us but you need to stay here in case she comes back here.”

“Taron is right Tina. If Mari comes back this way and none of us are here waiting for her, she will get upset.” Guy placed his hands on his wife’s shoulders, avoiding Taron’s eyes.

“It was actually Robyn’s suggestion to stay at the chairs.” Taron added quicky, his eyes going to Guy’s for a brief second, then looking back down to his mam. “Mari probably doesn’t even realise she is missing but rather still looking for the stones.” Taron said softly to his mother, giving her hands a reassuring squeeze. “We will find her. Guy and I will take our phones.”

“Robyn…”

“If Robyn finds Mari, she will bring her back here and you can call us. Eve has her phone?” Tina nodded. “Just take a breath mam. Mari is on the beach somewhere and we will have her back in no time.”

Without another word, Taron walked past her, dug into Robyn’s bag and pulled out his phone, slipped his feet into his runners and walked around the deck chairs and towards the left side of the beach, staying in the middle between the wall and shore, looking left and right, keeping an eye out for his sister.

When Taron left and was out of ear shot, Tina turned around to her husband. “What happened?” She saw Guy look over her head and with a pinch to his side, he looked to her. “He is pissed. What happened?”

“I am going to go and walk the beach, look for Mari.”

“Guy!” Tina called after her husband as he left her, grabbing his phone from the deck chair on the way past. “Men.” She muttered under her breathe, taking a seat in one of the deck chairs, picking up her phone, gripping it tight in her hands. Looking left, she just caught a glimpse of her son as he slowly walked down the beach and then to her right, her husband doing the same. Thoroughly confused, but very sure there had been a serious argument, Tina pushed it to the back of her mind, her eyes darting left and right, looking at every child who was within her eye line, praying one of them was Mari.

Robyn was desperate to give Taron a hug as she slowly ambled through the lapping waves, looking all around, trying to see if Mari was this far down the beach. She heard his voice travel her way as she walked away from him and heard the angry tone it held as he spoke to Guy and was sure it was for her benefit. As much as she appreciated how Taron had stood up for her, and obviously chastised his step-dad for how he had spoken to her, Robyn didn’t hold it against the older man. He was so clearly anxious and agitated by Mari’s sudden disappearance and in the heat of moment said some things she knew he didn’t mean at all. His little daughter had gone missing so of course his emotions were a little frayed and Taron’s short temper had already been tested over the weekend so both men were overly agitated. All she was worried about was Mari and as she came towards the far end of the beach, the number of people dwindling out, soon she was alone, heading for some large rocks which were clearly the cut-off point and end of the beach.

As she neared the rocks, Robyn stopped in her tracks, her eyes picking up a colourful swimsuit and one little girl standing on top of them, a bucket and spade in her hands.

“Mari.” Robyn sighed, her head shaking a little as she took to a jog but stopping as she was a couple of meters from the pile of stones, her whole face changing from happiness at finding Mari to worry at the amount of water between her and the rocks. “Shit.” At the end of the beach, the rocks on which Mari stood were slowly being covered as the evening tide came in and as Robyn wadded into the water, she could see that when Mari made her way up onto the rocks, the tide had yet to travel so far in and she easily could make her way up onto the stones but now was stuck and cut off from the clear pathway down, cold sea water blocking her way back to the beach.

“Robyn!” Looking up, Robyn heard her name, Mari finally seeing her. “Robyn! I am stuck! I can’t get down.”

“Ok darling. Don’t worry.” Robyn stepped further into the ocean, the water up to her calves. “I am going to come and help you. Stay where you are.” Robyn walked in a straight line until she could see the rocks under the waves and turning, now moved deeper into the ocean so the rocks were on her left side, the level of the water inching up her body until she was chest deep and right beside where Mari was stuck. Using her feet, she felt for some rocks and so very carefully climbed up the slippery stones, using her hands to drag herself up, getting to her knees and finally up beside Mari, the young girl throwing herself at her legs, dropping her bucket and spade, the shovel falling into the ocean, the waves dragging it backwards.

“Robyn!” Mari clung to the older woman; her head tucked into Robyn’s hip. “We always come here to the rock pools and I thought I could find some nice stones for the sandcastles and the water just came in so fast and I wasn’t watching and now I am stuck and the water is everywhere and blocking my way down.”

Crouching down, Robyn took Mari in for a proper hug, feeling the little girl shaking a little. “It’s ok darling. You are going to be just fine.”

“I come up here all the time with Dad and Rosie and we look in the rock pools but never when the water is so high. I climbed up from the bottom and when I looked back, I couldn’t see the end of the rocks any more. It was all just water.”

“You walked away from your dad.” Robyn said to Mari, moving away from her a little but keeping her in a hug. “You didn’t tell him you were going.”

“I only walked away for a minute.”

“Mari,” Said Robyn, her voice very serious. “You always tell your dad or mam if you are going somewhere or leaving them whether it is for a minute or just to wander a tiny bit away. Your parents and Taron are so very worried about you.” She saw her face fall. “I know you didn’t mean to walk away but you have all your family so concerned about you. Your mam thought you went into the water.”

“I would never go into the water.” Mari said her eyes very sad. “It’s dangerous. I didn’t mean to make everyone worry about me. I was just looking for stones for our sandcastle and I know the rock pools have nice ones.”

“Oh Mari.” Robyn hugged the little girl tight again. “I know you didn’t and I am just so glad you are ok and I found you. Now, we need to get back to your parents before they have the whole of Aberystwyth looking for you.” She gave Mari’s cheek a little kiss, her eyes darting to the water as it splashed against the rocks. Even with the few minutes she had been with Mari on the rocks, the incoming tide had travelled far and looking behind her, Robyn could see the only safe way back to the beach was by the way she had reached Mari, through the water. Without being able to see the rocks at the far end, she wouldn’t take the chance of even trying to walk Mari that way, knowing swimming her the short distance back to shore was the safest and easiest option. “Ok so we are going to have a little swim back.”

Mari’s eyes opened wide. “In the deep part?”

“You will be fine. I will hold you the whole time. It will only be a few seconds until we are back on the beach.”

“Can’t we wait for Dad to find us?” Mari asked.

Robyn shook her head. “I don’t know how long it will be before the water covers these rocks Mari or how long it will take your dad or Taron to walk this way and I don’t have a phone to call anybody. We need to get down from the rocks now before the water gets too deep. I promise I will keep you safe and look after you.”

“Like you looked after Taron?” She asked.

“Exactly like that. Now we are going to have to leave the bucket behind.” Robyn stood up and gently gave the red bucket behind Mari a little kick. “I will buy you a new one.”

“I don’t want a new one.” Mari said. “I just want my daddy.”

“Oh darling. I know.” Robyn bent down and picked Mari up, giving her a tight squeeze. “I am going to get you back to your daddy and I know you are a little scared about getting in the water but I doubly promise I will get you back to the beach. You just have to trust me, ok?” She felt the smallest shake into her shoulder. “Did Taron ever tell you how I went to go and swim with the dolphins?” She said to the little girl, feeling another shake of her head. “Well the water the dolphins lived in was much deeper than the water beside us and I spent nearly all day swimming in it with no floaties or rings, helping special little children as they swam with the dolphins.”

“You did?” Mari asked lifted her head and looking at Robyn.

“Yep. All day.”

“With no floaties?”

“Not one.”

“Swimming by yourself?”

“Uh-huh. I promise you Mari, nothing is going to happen to you or me. I will keep you so safe and my arms around you all time and if I can’t hold you, you just squeeze your arms around me.” Robyn saw her a little nod. “Ok darling.” Robyn hugged her again. “Now let’s get out of here.”

Still with Mari in her arms, Robyn looked around her to see which was the best way to get back down to the water, which way Mari would be able to follow her down and having already climbed up one part of the rocks, figured it was best to climb down the same ones. She set Mari down and carefully stepped down onto the rock below her, finding her feet and balance on the next one down before she reached out for Mari to join her. With a lot of hesitation and even more encouragement from Robyn, the little girl stepped down, squeezing tight onto Robyn’s hands.

“You are doing great already.” Robyn assured her. “I am going to step down again and you can follow me.” Robyn’s feet stood on a very slippery rock and tried to keep her face straight and confident as Mari depended on her to get her back safely to shore. As she kept Mari steady on the rock above her, Robyn glanced down and couldn’t see the next rock, the white breaking waves now biting at her ankles. “Ok Mari, we are going to have to do a little jump into the water.” She watched Mari’s eyes open wide. “It’s only a small jump and once in, we can be back on the beach really quickly. I am going to go first, hold my arms open for you and you can jump. I will catch you.”

“Ok Robyn.” Although she was frightened, Mari believed Robyn would look after her, keep her safe. She had already kept her brother safe and she absolutely trusted Robyn. She watched as Robyn took one long jump straight into the water, coming to the surface and turning around to her.

“Ok Mari.” Using her legs, to keep herself above the water, Robyn lifted her arms from the water and held them out. “On the count of three, ok? You will have to jump as far as you can.” So wary of the rocks, Robyn moved as far away as she could, still keeping enough distance that she could catch the little girls and then she started to count. She didn’t want a scratch of any sort on Mari, the little girl already being so brave with the mess he had found herself in, so kept as far away from the rocks as she could. “Ok darling, one, two, three.” Robyn had just finished saying three when Mari took a leap off the rocks, into the water and Robyn’s open arms, Robyn catching her tight, keeping the young girls head above the water. “Well done darling. So brave.”

“Can we go now?” Mari asked, her arms around Robyn’s neck. “I wanna see my family.”

“Of course. I am just going to move us away from the rocks and then we are going to swim towards the beach, ok?”

“Ok Robyn.”

“You just keep a tight hold of me Mari.”

Robyn could feel Mari’s arm creep around further her neck, both clasping together, her legs tightening around her hips. Keeping her right arm fixed around Mari’s back, Robyn placed her feet on the rock closest to her and pushed back hard, then kicked her legs, helping them to move away from the rocks, trying to get as much space between them and the sharp hard stones before she even thought about swimming them both back to shore. Taking a glance over her shoulder, Robyn did a double take as she saw a large rolling wave coming their way, one that was surely going to break over both their heads. With a strong kick, she turned them both around so Mari’s back was to the oncoming wave.

“Robyn?”

“There is a big wave coming. Don’t be scared. It is going to go over our heads but only for a second. Hold on tight to me. I am going to lift you up as high as I can and when I say so, you need to take a big deep breath for me and close your eyes.” She could see the panic set in Mari’s face. “Darling it is one wave, that is coming and it will be over before you know it. You go swimming all the time with your dad, right?” Mari nodded. “Ok so it is just like taking a big breath and going under the water. You can do this.”

“I am scared.”

“Me too Mari but it’s one big wave and then we are going to swim back to the beach.” Looking over her head again, Robyn had about ten seconds before the wave hit them. “I will count and you hold your breath, ok?” With the wave only seconds away, Robyn didn’t wait for Mari to answer her and hoisted up her higher, her two arms under her bum, kicking her legs very hard to keep them afloat. “Ok Mari. One, two, three.”

She watched Mari take a big breath, and as the wave hit Mari’s back and flowed over her head, Robyn was so busy concentrating on looking after the little girl, she forgot to take her own breath and wasn’t fully prepared for the force or power of the wave, and it would have flattened her if the rocks hadn’t been behind her. She ended up with a mouthful of seawater, most of which she swallowed as she silently cried out as her left outer thigh and back of her left leg rubbed hard against the sharp rocks, a stinging pain making her grip Mari tighter against her. As the wave rolled back, she managed to gain control of her body and kicked her legs, ignoring how her left leg throbbed and swam as best she could while still carrying Mari up high away from the rocks, finally getting her own head above the water when she was sure she a good two meters away from the rocks. Letting Mari slip down her body, Robyn coughed a little, feeling her stomach turning horribly with the sea water she had swallowed but pushing her own discomfort aside she looked to Mari, whose face was buried under her neck, her arms around her shoulders, her legs around her waist, clinging to her.

“Mari, you ok?” Robyn asked her, her legs kicking furiously under the water to keep them both up.

“I am ok.” She heard.

“Ok darling, let’s get back to the shore. I am going to turn you around and hold you against me and swim backwards.” Robyn carefully moved Mari so her back was against her chest and used her left arm to cross over Mari’s shoulder and once she was secure, kicked her legs moving them both towards the shore.

[thecleverdame]

Control and Release - 23

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

Summary: After the rest of the staff is caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester. As the arrangement becomes more defined, you and Sam begin a sexual adventure with dangerous consequences.  

Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification, mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, nipple clamps, dub-con, breath play.

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Words: 2.8k

Parts  24, 25, 26 & 27 are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories, including the ABO series Gods of Twilight and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

Forbes: At 30 years old you ranked as one of the top 25 most successful men in business.  You are a huge success. You’ve done all this by the seat of your pants, with no particular training in management. How did you learn how to run a company?

SW: You know, throughout my years in business I’ve discovered something. Coming up, I would always ask “why do you do it that way?”. The answer I would invariably get is: “Oh, that’s just the way things are done around here.” Nobody knows why they do what they do. Nobody thinks very deeply about processes. That’s what I’ve found.

In business a lot of things are folklore. They are done because they were done that way yesterday. And the day before. You have to dig in, ask questions, and not be afraid to piss people off.  It’s not the hardest thing in the world. It’s not rocket science.

Forbes: What drives you?

SW: As a kid, I read an article in Scientific American. It measured the efficiency of locomotion of various species on the planet. Bears. Chimpanzees. Raccoons. Birds. Fish. How many kilo-calories per kilometer did they spend to move? Humans were measured too. And the condor won. It was the most efficient. Humankind came in with an unimpressive showing about a third of the way down the list. But somebody there had the brilliance to test a human riding a bicycle. We blew away the condor. Off the charts.

This really had an impact on me. Humans are tool builders and process creators. We build things that can dramatically amplify our innate human abilities.

If you set a vector off into space, and you change its direction just a little bit at the beginning, the difference is dramatic when it gets a few miles out in space. If we can nudge it in the right direction, it will be a much better thing. I think W & S has had a chance to do that a few times. That gives me tremendous satisfaction.

Forbes: What drives Winchester & Singer employees?

SW: Most people don’t get a chance to do that many significant things in their life. I’m offering people the chance to be on the forefront of change. Everyone person is handpicked to be here. They could be sitting in a monastery somewhere in Japan, or out sailing. Some of the executive team could be playing golf, they could be running other companies. Everyone at W & S chosen to work with this emerging corner of law and technology. Plus I pay people what they’re worth. A rock star deserves a salary to match. I’ve never shied away from rewarding those who deserve it.

Forbes: Let’s just get it out there, the elephant in the room. How has the shooting changed the way you run W & S? What would you do differently in hindsight?

SW: The most effective change I’ve made has been hiring outside managers to monitor each department’s cultural cohesion. I hire the best and brightest, with that comes egos, reputations, and unrealistic expectations. It’s a balance between heavy-handed micromanagement and understanding what’s truly going on. We’re placing a greater focus on not only the quality of work produced, but the quality of the work experience.

Forbes: You’re a notorious figure with a demanding reputation. How do you see yourself?

SW: My job is to not be easy on people. My job is to make them better. My job is to pull things together from different parts of the company and clear the way and get the resources for key projects. To take these great people, push them, and make them even better, coming up with more aggressive visions of stale concepts.

Forbes: What advice would you give to someone looking at you as their model for success?

SW: Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. You'll know when you find it. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. I learned that the hard way.

Forbes: You’re known for being stubbornly private regarding your personal life, but in one of your most famous quotes you said things such as hobbies and even family were a distraction. You’re older and wiser, do you still believe that?

SW: (long pause) Yes, but there’s someone in my life now who won’t be too pleased with my answer. The right partner makes you better. Distractions can turn into strengths, but I still believe it’s important to screen who and what you let into your life.

You sit back on the couch smiling at the photo of him on the opposite page. The photographer managed to make him look like some kind of billionaire playboy. He’s wearing a designer suit, something edgy and slim with no socks and leather shoes. His trademark glasses are nowhere to be seen and his hair is wild around his face. He looks like a different Sam, a doppelganger from another universe.

This is his second Forbes cover. The first showcased him as a new powerhouse executive but this article goes on and on about the way Sam is reshaping the way law will be written as it regards to intellectual property rights.

And that last question and then his answer. The right partner makes you better. You wish he was here in your tiny apartment so you could crawl into his lap and show him just how much better things can really get.

Monday

On Monday morning you follow Cole to the nearest conference room. You’ve worked hard to put together the right team for this maiden case. Everyone is feeling the pressure, pressure that’s only made worse by Sam’s attendance.

Sam makes you slightly nervous, but only because you want him to be proud of your work. Truth be told you’re more concerned about proving to Cole you can do this job and do it well.

Everyone else is terrified of incurring the wrath of the great Sam Winchester.

Despite working for W & S most employees never meet him face to face, so this is a big deal for the team and even more so for Cole. They have a lot to prove. This morning is the first in a battery of tests to come.

You set up the presentation while the team trails in. Each junior associate has been assigned an assistant and you’re happy to see the familiar faces of Millie and Lexie.

“Is he normally late?” Cole glances at his watch. “It’s 9:15.”

“No, not normally,” you reply as the door opens and a blonde woman you’ve never seen before scurries in ahead of Sam. The look on his face tells you everything you need to know, something didn’t go his way. He’s pissed.

He takes a seat, opening a legal pad full of notes. The woman sits beside him, offering a pen. He sighs and plucks it from her fingers.

“Let’s get started.” Sam begins. The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“Right,” Cole stands up, adjusting his suit jacket. “I’ve put together an overview, the key players and areas we believe there’s wiggle room to make our case.” He turns to you on cue. “Y/N.”

You start the presentation from your laptop, doing everything in your power not to look directly at Sam.

Cole presents, he’s well spoken and thinks on his feet. Sam interjects with questions designed to test Cole’s agility as much as hear an answer, but your new boss performs just as expected.

Next up are the associates and they don’t fare as well. Leon hasn’t done his homework, he doesn’t have the correct cases with the legal precedent. Jasper looks like he’s going to throw up as Sam goes down his list of suggestions and eviscerates each one, piece by piece.

While Sam speaks it occurs to you for the first time perhaps this is less his intolerance and more about the frustration of being the smartest person in the room. He already knows the answers, he doesn’t make a move without planning five steps ahead. He’s just trying to get everyone else caught up.

Halfway through his interrogation of Jenny Salter, a leggy redhead who started two weeks ago, the soft strains of a radio can be heard, growing closer. The guy who runs the coffee cart listens to classic rock on a little radio as he wheels around the office and at the moment Blinded By The Light is getting louder and louder.

“What the hell is that?” Sam cocks his head.

“I’ll go check,” Millie gets up.

As you watch her stand up your heart flutters. Little palpitations, once, twice, and then a tightness spreading out. Shit. This couldn't be a worse time.

Your palms go sticky-sweaty, a heat starting in your belly and fanning out like wildfire, until it seems the walls are closing in.

“Can someone help her,” Sam gestures toward the open door. “Is it that difficult to turn a radio off?”

“I need to get out of here,” you whisper, grabbing Cole by the wrist.

“What’s wrong?” he whispers back, turning to look at you. “Jesus, are you sick?”

“I just, um…” the words get caught as your breath goes choppy. “I can’t breathe.”

“Are you okay?” Jenny inquires from across the table. Under any other circumstances, you’d be horrified to have all the attention focused on you but right now you’re desperately trying not to pass out.

“Y/N?” Sam’s voice drifts in from somewhere far away.

“I’m gonna…” are your last words as everything fades to black.

-

You blink once, twice and a third time cobwebs begin to clear. There’s a pounding in the back of your skull, a heavy thump thump that hurts like a motherfucker.

It takes a moment to place the location but you’re lying on a couch in Sam’s office. When you turn your head both Sam and Cole are standing near his desk, both of them watching you.

“Welcome back,” Cole smiles, moving forward. You lock eyes with Sam for a moment, before focusing on the other man in front of your.

“I passed out huh?”

“Yeah. You hit your head on the table on the way down. You’re gonna have a goose egg.” Cole makes a pained face.

“Shit,” you feel at the tender lump on the side of your head. “This is so embarrassing. Sorry I ruined the meeting.”

“Nothin’ to be sorry for.” Cole nods. “You should probably go get checked out.”

“It’s just a panic attack. I get them from time to time. PTSD.”

“I’m familiar.”

Of course he is, the man fought in a war and you’re talking to him about PTSD.

“You should go home,” Sam suggests, studying the interaction between you and Cole.

“Really, I think I’ll be okay. I’ve got some work I need to finish-”

“Go home.” Sam raises his voice. It’s not a suggestion.

“Probably a good idea.” Cole agrees. He offers you a hand up from the couch. “You live close? I can-”

“We have people who can take her,” Sam interjects. “I’d like if you would go back down and pull everyone back together. Have the team regroup and we’ll reschedule for this afternoon.”

“I’d kinda like to stay with her.” Cole looks to you. “I feel responsible.”

“I’ll watch her until a driver comes to take her home.” Sam holds out his arm, ushering him toward the door. Cole looks hesitant, but nods in agreement.

“Check in later and let me know how you’re feeling okay?”

“Sure thing.” You’re thankful for his kindness. He’s proven himself to be an upstanding guy. You’re lucky to have him as a direct supervisor.

As soon as the door clicks shut Sam is kneeling on the carpet in front of you. One hand slides into your hair, finding the growing bump.

“Ouch,” you hiss.

“It’s big,” he cautions. “You should have a doctor look at it, make sure you don’t have a concussion.”

“I passed out before I hit my head. I think I’m fine.” You force a weak smile, looking over his face as he looks up to you.

Sam rarely looks up at anyone or anything, this position is vulnerable, submissive but he doesn’t seem to mind as he studies your face.

“It was a bad one,” Sam denotes. “It came on fast and you were on the ground in under a minute.”

“So embarrassing.” You watch him as he carefully pushes hair away from your forehead. “Do I have to go home?”

“Yes,” he maintains. “Go to my house.”

“Really, I’m okay. I can just go to my own place and lay down.”

“I’d like to check on you later. I’d prefer if you stayed with me.”

You forget sometimes that safety is Sam’s flag ship. He’s afraid of losing the only person in his life, in moments like this you get a glimpse of the acute anxiety. It looks exhausting.  

“Alright, your house. But I want dinner.”

“You can have whatever you want.”

Wednesday

“Y/N…” Cole starts, his voice trailing off.

“Yeah?” You don’t look up from the document you’re working on, scribbling a note in red ink. It’s been a long week of case review and making sure that everyone is on the same page. The real work begins in a few days so the team is trying to prep as they can. You’ve been spread out on the small couch in the corner of his office for hours, reviewing and taking notes. Trying to memorize the details.

“I’m gonna say something and I hope you take it the right way, because I’m coming to you from a place of good intentions.”

“That sounds ominous.” Sitting up, you close the folder and place it on the table giving him your full attention. “What’s up?”

“Is he always like that with you?”

“What are you talking about?”

There’s an immediate nervous feeling. A wispy flutter of panic.

“I’m talking about Sam Winchester. He brought you up to his office after you passed out, offered to personally watch over you until a driver was free. He can’t even remember the name of his new assistant but with you he was...attentive.”

“I worked on a project with him last year. We spent a significant amount of time together,” you counter.

Stay cool. All this time and Pepper had to walk in on you to see there was something going on. But Cole’s sharp, observant. He picked up on it right away.

Cole stares at you, pursing his lips and trying to decide whether or not to share what he’s really thinking.

“You should watch yourself.” His words are careful. “The way he looks at you, I’ve seen that look before.”

“You’re wrong.” Your entire face is hot. “He’s not like that.”

“I hope you’re right. Just keep my voice in the back of your head, kay? Don’t let yourself be in a situation where you’re alone with him.”

“Cole-”

“I’m serious. He’s interested in you. I’ve known men like him. I wouldn’t want you to be put in a position where something happened. A guy like that is used to getting what he wants. He might not wait for consent.”

That takes you back. The tone shifts and you swallow, thinking about how you want to respond to this curve ball.

“You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions,” you bristle, trying to subdue the urge to put Cole in his place. “Even if he was interested in me, that doesn’t mean he’s a freakin’ rapist.”

“I’m not saying he is.” Cole tries to explain himself. “There’s just something about him. You’re intuitive, you have to feel it too. You have to know the rumors about his brother? How they grew up? You can’t be sure some of that crazy isn’t lurking below the surface-”

“Sam has been nothing but kind to me,” you interrupt. “He’s hard to work for but he’s given me opportunities no one else ever has. You shouldn’t talk about him like that.”

“You don’t wonder why?”

“Why what?” You stand up, taking a step toward the desk. “You don’t think my work is good enough that he would see some talent in me?”

“I didn’t say that, either. You’re smart, articulate, you think on your feet. But that describes most of the employees here. I only meant there could be a reason he singles you out.”

Fuck.

In four short weeks Cole Trenton has managed to see what no one else could.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

WhatsApp? Part 15. (Steve Rogers x reader)

Description: You’ve never been lucky with guys. You just wanted to catch someone’s eye, to be loved. One day, that’s about to turn completely - with one fake, completely imagined number a guy gave you.

A/N: “Let’s talk about s*x baby, let’s talk about you and me.”, going off the rails, as I always tend to. Enjoy, babes.

Warnings: Oh, first kiss like hello bitch? Some smut happening/implied at the end of the chapter. Also, I think it's time to properly hit it off and just slowly start to slide towards the end.

Word Count: 3.7 K

Tagging: @missdictatorme, @songforhema, @mikariell95, @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

Read the rest here: Part One  Part Two  Part three  Part four  Part five  Part Six Part seven  Part eight  Part nine  Part ten  Part eleven  Part twelve  Part thirteen  Part fourteen

If you like to have your readings in order :):  H E R E  

You couldn't actually believe that it happened - for some unknown reason, you found a fucking gem hidden amongst the other guys, with such a silly coincidence. Yeah, having Steve close could be described as a drug, simply. 

The evenings after your work were the absolute best. It was nice to have fancy dinners, to go into some crazy places; but as the weather got crazier and crazier, you started to have him over. Sometimes, he even slept at your place. On the sofa, but you tried your best to stay cool about that. 

It wasn't about you not being attractive or whatever - it was just about Steve being Steve. That was just a thing you discovered throughout the time. Steve being Steve consisted of holding your hand on the street occasionally, but just really innocently, sitting far away from you on the sofa, really gentlemen manners, never ever being mature or whatever. 

Bucky told you that those things were completely normal around that man out of time - and that it was bullshit to wait for him changing the things around. Not gonna happen, girl.

“How about yesterday’s hangout?” - Bucky asked from somewhere between Deena’s neck as he kissed her tenderly. You, Buck, Deena, and Sam were hanging out for that day’s lunch pause and so far so good. 

“You already know the answer, Buck.” - You mumbled and rearranged the glasses on your nose. Yesterday, Steve was having a sleepover at your place and you watched Harry Potter together. That man never saw those movies and Sam hadn't the time to show him. 

It was all fun, kind of romantic, cheesy enough, it was fun with a lot of popcorn and some really sweet drinks. As usually, Steve fell asleep on your couch, this time during the three trials of the Goblet of fire. Then you turned the movie off, covered him in a spare blanket and called it a day as well.

“Lemme guess.” -  Deena looked at you from under Bucky’s armpit and you almost didn't see her eyes because of the cap she was wearing. That piece of clothing was definitely her boyfriend’s. Sam Wilson, another of their friends, was walking on your second side, sipping some green-ish smoothie which looked disgusting to you. - “Steve was acting like Steve, wasn't he?” 

“I’m tellin’ ya, girl. Ma boy is just all over the place from you, even after all the time ya just simply hang out with him...” - Sam threw a hand over your shoulder and shook you a bit, offering you a sip from that disgusting smoothie. 

The more you got to know Sam, the more touchy and feely person he was around you. But it wasn't too much at all or something like that; it was just in a friendly way and you could feel that. So his huge fucking arm over your tiny shoulder? That was a normal thing for you at that time - after hanging out with Steve for three to four months. 

The first date was something that almost made you explode with happiness - Steve really put some effort into that. It wasn't effortless after that one night, not at all; but Steve was still nervous around you. Sweet and caring, but fucking nervous. And you could feel that. 

But you wanted to cuddle, you would beg to be kissed, you would bring him the whole world if he only indicated that he loves you. You just needed that - your patience was wearing. It would take only a slow push to throw you off the fucking cliff. 

And you pushed his fucking smoothie away because it just smelled so terribly.

“You would bet your fucking birdy brain, asshole.” - You looked at Sam with a shocked face. 

“Then fucking do it, girl, and stop yellin’ at me. It ain't my fault at all. Jesus, those hormones are just fuckin’ you up.” - Sam said and watched you like you were a fucking psycho. Yeah. The period was always the toughest time in women's life - and you were letting Sam and Steve letting to know your feelings. From the men, you were always only nice to Bucky, because he was always nice to you.

You didn't have your period, it ended up like three days ago, but you told Sam that it continued so you could behave like a dick to him without finding excuses, which you did anyways. 

“So, it is pretty obvious to me. Because your little Stevie is fucking oblivious, we need to make a plan.” - Deena peeped from under Bucky and opened the door to the bistro you were visiting that day. As usual, there were a few ladies and some young boys who desperately wanted to take a photo with the less known Avengers. 

You knew how to handle those situations with smiles - Steve had taught you, how not to freak out when someone wanted to take a photo with him. It usually happened when you and Steve went to the supermarket or to take some takeaway food. The people were just so happy to meet those superheroes in person, to have a small talk and to leave.

That was pretty ok and some fans of Steve, Buck or Sam even appreciated you, asked about your day and so on. Sometimes they even insisted on having you and Deena on the photo, usually adding something like “Even a supersoldier needs a shoulder to lay and cry on” or “Behind every successful superhero, there is a woman” and you personal favourite was “Superheroes find super girlfriends who can bare their whole history and personality and love them for who they are” (you saw that on one young lady’s Instagram story - there was a photo of you watching Steve with a dead stare when he was choosing his ice cream’s flavor for a half an hour; Peter had shown it to you while you were at work.)

“What kind of plan, Deena?” - You raised her eyebrows at her and she and Buck shared a stare like it was completely obvious. 

“I would name it the ’Seducing Steve’ plan for work purposes.” - She said in a laid back tone and sat down into the furthest box. 

And so, wizardry and witchcraft were starting when those three started to discuss how to seduce Steve Fucking Rogers.

---

“Oh, she's in a good mood.” - Bucky answered Steve’s question when he and Sam came back home from their work out. - “It is a pity that youve missed that lunch. We had such a good time.”

“Oh, yea?!” - Sam shouted from the bathroom so loudly, that the glasses started to shake. - “Yo girl almost killed me four thousand times, she was grumpy and a pain in my fuckin’s ass!” 

“That is what you get from messing with the ladies. Oh wow, how sad I am that she didn't hit your forearm with that fork.” - Bucky yelled back and Steve was really confused - he was about to buy her some chocolate nonetheless and some other snacks, but he needed to know how he should act. 

“WHAT?!” - Sam’s head peeked from behind the door at that exact moment. - “She started all those kinds of beef and now your taking her side? Traitor!” - The chocolate skinned diva closed the door again. 

“I will leave you to that.” - Steve slowly put his jacket on, but Buck and Sam got into their beef so much that they didn't even notice that Steve is leaving. - “Today is the day od Lord of the Rings. I'm curious about that and I hope I won't fall asleep.” - He smiled and left the flat, writing you a super-short text. 

Steve: See you at your place in ten.

---

You checked yourself in the mirror for the last time - you had a lumberjack shirt put on because according to Sam and Buck, Steve was secretly living for women in shirts; especially with some nice top under it. Fuckingly tight jeans were just something that needed to be and some high-heeled boots were it. 

Sam said that you didn't need anything more than that. 

But Bucky laughed devilishly, kissing Deena on her temple. You needed one last thing before you could call your plan a success. Other man’s attention. And Bucky was fucking sure you could achieve that, you little hidden she-devil.

And he knew that other man’s attention is something that can make Steve all worked up. Bucky chuckled; he was sure that it will be more than enough to work Steve up for not only just a kiss. But he shut his bitch ass up - if you will take a day off tomorrow, he will know that the plan worked.

When Steve showed at your door, you let him in - but only to put the paper bag near your fridge. Then you put your old, but the still sexy, jacket on. This one especially Deena’s favorite; she used to say that this jacket was making your boobs bigger and that it practically screams fuck-me-here-and-now. The only problem with it was that it wasn't really warm.

“You're going somewhere?” - Steve asked with a small smile, frowning a bit. 

“Yeah. I want to leave for the night, have some fun in the downtown. Sorry that I didn't text you that I'm changing the schedule, I just thought that I can surprise you.” - You locked the door to your apartment and took his elbow to your hand, leading that poor and scared man behind you.

From nowhere, Deena took some tickets out of her purse - it was tickets to some local stage where a DJ would be performing. She wanted to go, but in the last while, she decided that she wanted to do something different - which implied that she wanted to fuck the night away. 

But it was your chance after all - a chance that shouldn't be left alone. And if Steve would not hit on you after that? Well, at least you could drink your fucking ass off before showing him what courage looks like.

The night was pretty cold, today at least, but it wasn't that much of a long road. The sky was all iron cold and almost white, illuminated with the yellow shining of the city lamps. Something about that felt nice when you and he walked next to each other on the crowded streets, laughing and simply talking without the smallness of your room, without watching every move he made, if he wasn't closer or too far away. 

He felt less nervous. Bucky got an idea why, but again, that fucker just smiled and sipped his diet cola without giving you a proper fucking answer. 

"So, we're in front of the club. Come on, I wanna have some fun!" - You smiled and basically dragged that poor man inside. Oh yeah. Modern-day disco - Steve Rogers's personal nightmare. His greatest enemy which he couldn't beat even if he tried to.

There was a lot of young people - including people from the age of eighteen, maybe even younger, and up. Steve wasn't feeling his best, that was for sure. But he was doing it for you, that kept him going.

The show itself was good - you screamed most of the lyrics because you knew them from when you and Pete turned on the radio and sang along. That man was a fucking bomb of that summer, which made you wonder why would Deena give up on that tickets so easily and why he was performing for such a small crowd when he could sell out stadiums full of people.

"I'm going for another beer!" - You screamed to Steve, he needed to lean down, and you shook the empty plastic cup. - "You want some?"

Steve would gladly not accept your offer, just because you were getting drunk as hell, and he didn't even know that you had two shots of some really good Russian vodka stuff in each of your cups of the beer. He was drinking as well, but he knew that nothing, except Thor's centuries-old ale, could bring him on his knees.

But he gently refused with a smile, biting those comments down into his lower lip. You shook your shoulders and left to get some other shit.

A guy trailed you down at the bar; he had his eyes on you since the very beginning. Your enthusiasm for the music, your dancing moves and knowing almost every lyric made him watching you all the time. You seemed to have company - but since the man wasn't holding your lips from behind while you danced, since he didn't even kiss you, the bar guy assumed that it isn't your date.

Just a friend. That's what Steve was in his eyes.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself!" - That guy shouted at you so you could at least barely hear him through the EDM and basses. - "I live for that, sweetie! Name's Rick, by the way!" - He offered you a hand. You accepted it without further thinking; it was warm, dry and he had a firm handshake.

He was pretty handsome, you needed to say that, but it was fading away in comparison to Steve's eyes. Girl, you needed to hit a home run that night so bad. You just needed to, not thinking about the rest which might follow right behind.

"Name's Y/N. Awesome to meet you!" - You smiled, getting the cash out of your back pocket.

"Leave it there, Jesus. It's my treat!" - Rick bumped your palm away and quickly paid the beer and two shots. He was watching as you poured them down to the beer with an open mouth. - "Wow. That's something. I like your style!" - He smiled widely and you chuckled.

"So what are you searching for in here?" - He asked when you poured half of the bear down your throat. You frowned cluelessly at him. - "Everyone in there is searching for something. Some of them are feeling tough since they used their fake IDs, some people are looking for a good fuck in here, someone's mingling out there. Might be my case!"

"Oh, really?" - You opened your mouth. Girl, you were so wasted at that moment, I tell you. - "How so?"

"A bad breakup. I'm trying to find someone who would like to mingle!" - He shouted over the start of a new song. - "You?"

"Hitting my best shot with a totally clueless guy! You see him? He's Captain America himself!" - You shouted and Rick suddenly stopped. Shit. Captain was eyeing him down with a dead stare and you were his fucking girl. He needed to back off as soon as he fucking could to save his own damn ass. - "He's the sweetest and most caring guy ever! You know? But when we're alone, he's all nervous. I need to make him make a move with me finally."

"Yeah. I don't wonder why he's nervous. You're so gorgeous!" - Rick complimented you light-heartedly. It made you smile and you tenderly pat his shoulder.

That was all Steve needed to see. A guy whispering you things, you touching his shoulder and laughing out loud. You had the most beautiful face when you were laughing. And he wasn't the reason for that laughter. Steve just stopped from anything he was doing and frowned, watching your every move.

He knew he was taking things too slowly. He was acting like a fifth-grader around you, but it had a specific and good reason. Steve was sure as hell that he would lose control as soon as his lips would touch yours. You smelled so good, you were funny, beautiful and for that matter, he was sleeping on ice for the last seventy years. And he was a man.

It would be a disgrace for Steve to say that he's horny. Or to say it out loud. But the truth is that is was almost painfully obvious for Bucky and Sam, and basically for every single person who knew Steve. Like Natasha specifically.

But sometimes, when you watched the movie like nothing mattered, Steve looked at your partially opened lips and eyes slowly winking, on that messy hair and a right t-shirt - and suddenly, all he could think about was sex. Or literally tearing the top off you, so he could see more of that body. Or just standing behind you while you leaned down to search through your cupboards, just to gently circle his hands around your waist and to brush his weakest spot on that peachy ass.

That was when Steve sat straight and moved even further away from your body. He didn't want to look like a horny rabbit in your eyes. Even if you wanted to fuck soul out of his body when the nearest chance comes by.

You were both such dummies in that matter. Even Peter could tell Steve's not relaxed bevause of something when he met him for the first time. Peter had similar feelings for Liz Allen, but he was just itching to kiss her. Peter could instantly tell what the fuck is going on.

But you couldn't. That's why you were standing at the bar with Rick's face practically laid on your shoulder. And Steve didn't know what to do first - if he should beat the soul out of his fucking body or if he should you home.

The other option said way better.

You could see Steve's body coming through the crowd directly to you and you bit your lip. Fucking Bucky Barnes. He was right; of course, he was, he knew Steve way better than anybody. You looked at Rick and raised your eyebrows, pouring that drink down.

"Wish me luck, Rick." - You kissed his cheek just to work Steve up even more. - "Hoping for the best lady for you to mingle with!" - You held your fingers crossed tightly when Steve approached you in his typical not-so-sure-about-anything behavior. He leaned down to your ear, touching your jaw with shaking fingers.

"Do you want to leave this place?" - He asked in a sultry tone and you smiled at him. You were drunk, your eyes were shining, your smile was big as ever and even though the beer was smelling from you, you were one of the sexiest ladies Steve has ever seen. So when you nodded, he exhaled.

Oh man, did he finally worked up the courage to do you things you will never forget? He was all heated up when you stood in front of the club as you watched the first snowflakes of that year fall down onto the ground.

He covered you in his jacket because your fuck-me jacket was lost somewhere inside.

"Your place or mine?" - He whispered, playing with his thumbs on your jawline.

"What?" - You asked drunkenly and giggled.

"Don't you try to play that innocent card on me now." - He stood up laughing, watching the people looking at you. No stupid photos now; he would most likely kill them if they would ask. Right now, he had some bigger problems which you needed to solve. - "I know what you're after. And I'm after that as well, kitten. So... I'm asking, you if it's your place or mine."

Sam was at home at that time - not much of a problem for Rogers. He would just swing you on his shoulder, look at his friend and he knew that Sam would immediately know that he should leave the place hella fast. Buck was over at Deena's and Steve knew that they're probably occupied by each other as well.

"Mine. Definitely mine." - You sighed and let him lead you home through the crowds of people. They were staring at you two - Cap and his drunk girlfriend. Oh, did Steve know that his reputation will be torn apart in tomorrow's news and he couldn't care less?

Steve was sure that Tony will be making fun of him or teasing him alongside Clint, Bucky and Sam will be eager to hear every single detail, Natasha will have that sultry face and curious eyes - but Steve decided that every one of them could go fuck themselves if they want.

All he wanted at that moment was you, finally naked, in the shortest time possible.

You almost crashed the door to your flat. The first kiss sure wasn't as romantic or slow or pure as would've wished, but you didn't think about that much. Why? Your back was pressed to the wall next to your door as you were slowly turning into a moaning mess.

There was a little thing that nobody knew about Captain America himself, maybe even Bucky didn't - he was extremely eager. Thanks to his self-control, he was somehow able to hide that element of his personality in front of the others. But he knew how he acts when he has nothing that would make him stop.

The warmth of someone's body leads to touching. Touch leads to a kiss. The kiss leads to foreplay. Foreplay leads to showing you the heaven's gate. That was just how he saw things.

You stripped the jacked off your body in a short five seconds, along with the shirt. You could hear your furniture moving, falling down and crashing onto the ground. You didn't fucking care at all.

Steve was hot under your touch, firm and smooth, his kisses were sweeter than Bucky's plums and the palms on your ass were making you nuts.

Boy, you didn't know what pleasure the man out of time will bring you that night; but you couldn't wait.

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Stranger’s Bed

A/N: This is my first reader insert fanfiction I’ve ever written, so I’m sorry if it sucks. 

Genre: fluff, comfort

Warning: swearing, reference to being drugged

Words: 2500

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem reader

Summary: You wake up in a bed that definitely isn’t yours and try to figure out why your super handsome neighbor is here. 

Masterlist

You weren’t sure where you were. You knew you were in a bed, but you were also pretty sure it wasn’t your bed. It smelled different. Not bad, just kind of… manly? It was a familiar scent, you just couldn’t put your finger on why. All you really knew was that you were in a stranger’s bed, and that it didn’t make sense to you.

The first thing you checked when you woke up was that you weren’t naked in a stranger’s bed, because that would just be another level of bad. Thankfully, you were, in fact, fully clothed. The next thing you checked for was that there was no one else in the room with you and that you had your phone with you. Both of these were true so you had to pause and figure out what to do. Who had put you in their bed? And, since you obviously hadn’t had sex with whoever it was, why did they put you in their bed? Knowing that just staying wrapped in the mysterious stranger’s comforter wouldn’t help you get answers, you got up and started to walk down the hall of an apartment that was pretty similar to yours. You guessed this meant someone in your building had let you in.

It wasn’t until you neared the living room and noticed a picture on the wall that you realized whose apartment you were in. Right there, next to your face was a picture of two guys who were way too attractive for their own good, one blond and the other brunet. You vaguely knew Steve from how often he visited the apartment. Bucky’s apartment. That meant that somehow, Bucky Barnes, God’s gift to women, had let you in and put you into his bed. You knew you were a little tipsy last night, but you definitely didn’t have that much to drink.

“Morning,” you heard a gruff voice from behind you, startling you into a small scream before you caught yourself.

“Jesus Christ, thanks for the heart attack,” you muttered, trying to calm your breathing. Incredibly embarrassed by the entire situation, you glanced up at Bucky through your lashes and asked, “How did I get here last night? I don’t think I drank enough to not remember inviting myself into your bed.”

His face hardened a little from the kind mask that he had worn to greet you, but he fixed it fairly quickly, not wanting to frighten you. “Well, I went with Steve to the bar down the street, where I saw you. There was some creepy guy hovering next to you, and it just didn’t feel right so I walked up to see if you were okay. I don’t know what that asshole did, but you could hardly stand, and you didn’t exactly act like the drunk Y/N I know and love to meet on occasion.” At this, he smirked at you, knowing that when you were drunk, you got really flirty. However, both of you lost your sense of humor at the thought of what could have happened to you last night. He picked back up his story after a moment, “Anyway, I offered to walk you home, but when we got to your door, you couldn’t find your key and I didn’t really want to grope you to find it, so I just brought you in here instead.” He held his hands out in a mix between a “ta-da” and a shrug.

You were pretty embarrassed by the shape you were in, but very grateful to your handsome neighbor for taking care of you and saving you from God knows what. The more you thought about it, the more it scared you. You let out a heartfelt, if slightly shaky, “Thank you”, before you started to panic a little. If Bucky hadn’t been there, hadn’t cared enough to worry about you, this morning could have been very different. You were on the verge of tears when he pulled you into him and wrapped his arms around you, comforting you and holding you up all at once.

“I just feel so stupid. I was feeling a little down and a little lonely, so what did I do? I went to a bar alone, like an idiot. To top it all off, I was obviously an idiot who accepted a drink from a stranger. Horrible things could have happened and it would have been all my fault.” At this point you were sobbing into Bucky’s chest.

“Hey, this is not your fault,” he said softly, grabbing your face gently and looking you in the eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t have gone alone, but the fact that that guy was a creep is not your fault. Horrible people doing horrible things is never anyone’s fault but theirs. Do you hear me?” You let out a half-hearted nod, still berating yourself for your poor choices, but feeling a little calmer after staring into his gorgeous blue eyes.

He comforted you for a few more minutes before offering to make you some breakfast. “What do you want? Eggs, bacon, omelettes?” He was listing off things, none of which really appealed to you, until he said, “Waffles?” You smiled and nodded excitedly. Waffles were something you didn’t get to eat that often, but you really loved when you had them. He smiled at you indulgently and moved towards the kitchen.

You stopped in the hallway after he left to gather yourself. You were still freaked out by what could have happened last night, but knowing that Bucky had been there for you was like a balm on the freak out that had been building. There was also the fact that your super hot neighbor that you had a major crush on had saved you and let you sleep in his bed. You didn’t want to look too far into that because you knew that he was honestly just a really great guy who would help anyone he saw in danger. But a small part of you wanted to believe that he had brought you here because he might care for you too. Realizing you were getting nowhere with your thoughts, you followed him in to the kitchen.

While watching him move around him kitchen with surprising ease, a thought sprung to mind. “Where did you sleep last night?” You realized he had given you his bed, which meant he had to have slept somewhere less comfortable.

He just shrugged. “The couch.” He could see immediately that you were going to apologize for doing nothing wrong, so he said, “Hey, I put you in my bed and chose to take the couch, don’t feel bad about it.”

“But you’re way too tall for that couch! I could have fit just fine,” you argued, though you realized in the back of your mind that there was no point now.

“I would never let a lady sleep on my couch while I was in the bed, I’m too much of a gentleman,” he said with a grin. You couldn’t help but smile back. Bucky was always attractive, but he was definitely cute when he was happy.

You sat at the counter, watching him prepare the food and hoping he couldn’t hear your stomach growling. For a man who was quite large, he was very graceful in his movement, never faltering with his hands or making mistakes. You were honestly a little jealous of how comfortable he was with his body, before you remembered the look on his face you sometimes saw when people would notice his metal arm or comment on it.

When you first met Bucky, you honestly didn’t notice the fact that his hand was literally made of metal for a couple of days. Even when you did notice, you never commented on it. Everyone has their own insecurities, and while you weren’t sure in the beginning that that was one for him, you never wanted him to feel like you thought he was weird or different. Sometimes though, when you saw Bucky out in public, somebody would notice his arm and stare at him like he was just a statue put there for them to gawk at. In those moments, you could see Bucky’s discomfort in his own body. You also honestly wanted to punch those people sometimes, tired of how they treated him.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a cup of coffee and a plate of waffles placed in front of you. They smelled delicious and you smiled gratefully at Bucky before digging in. You didn’t realize how starving you were until you took your first bite of heaven, after which, you practically inhaled your food. You heard him chuckle a little next to you but ignored him in favor of enjoying your breakfast.

“Wow doll, when was the last time you ate?” You blushed a little at the term of endearment but shrugged.

“Sometime yesterday, I guess.” You didn’t want to admit that you had been feeling kind of down yesterday about being alone and your friend canceling plans on you that you didn’t really eat anything after breakfast.

“Alright, I gotta ask, why were you alone at a bar last night? You’re obviously a smart woman, and smart women don’t tend to go to a bar without company and accept drinks from strangers.” He was watching you, trying to figure out why he had found you in that condition. Unfortunately, you didn’t really want to admit why you went alone.

“Ah… it doesn’t matter, don’t worry about it.” You hoped he would let it go, but when you looked over at him, you saw that that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. “Alright fine, my friend cancelled plans with me last to go on a date. I was excited to see her because it’s been a while, but she just ditched me for some guy. I was already at the bar though, so I decided to drown my loneliness and self-pity in a couple of drinks. And then this guy comes up to me an actually pays some attention to me, so my lonely ass decided that I should drink the thing he gave me. After that, I don’t really remember anything, but I assume that’s where you came in.” You finished your story with a sigh, having dropped eye contact with him when you started talking about how lonely you were. You were his neighbor, you knew Bucky didn’t suffer loneliness as much as you did, if you were basing it on the company he had over.

Bucky’s hand came into your line of sight as he grabbed your hand where it was resting on the counter. You were kind of forced to look up at him, because that was obviously what he wanted. When you looked up at him, you saw exactly what you didn’t want to see in his eyes: pity.

“Doll, we all get lonely sometimes. But you’re a gorgeous woman, it can’t be that you don’t get any attention from men.” You laughed a little at that. “I’m serious, there’s no reason a gal like you should be alone.”

“I mean sure, I’ve been asked out before,” you said, shrugging a little, “but it’s never by a guy I want to ask me out.” The last part came out quite softly, hoping that he might not hear it.

“Who do you want to ask you out, then?” asked Bucky, an obtuse male in a sea of obtuse males. You side-eyed him a little bit, but refused to answer aside from telling him that it didn’t matter. “Any guy would be lucky to have you, doll.” After that, you heard him mutter “I would be lucky.” You didn’t think you were supposed to hear that, but it shocked you. You quickly looked at him. He must have realized that you had heard him, because he was blushing under your stare. “I mean, uh… can you just forget you heard that?”

Okay, if you thought happy Bucky was cute, a flustered Bucky was absolutely adorable. You couldn’t help but giggle, but you also were just in disbelief. There was no way that this actual model of a man was interested in you. It would be silly to get your hopes up, so you decided he probably didn’t mean it. You were quiet for a little too long, you realized, as Bucky started stuttering and trying to fix it.

“I-I mean, not that I wouldn’t be lucky, but it’s just that any guy would be lucky, like I said, not just me. And you can just pretend that didn’t happen so that we can stay friends because I don’t want you to be worried that I’m just your friend because I think you’re cute, it’s just…” You saw him panicking, but you got very stuck on one particular thing.

“You think I’m cute?” you asked, interrupting his stream of explanations. You weren’t trying to make him feel more awkward, you were genuinely curious. Your head was cocked to the side and you just looked at him with an open expression.

“Well I thought that was pretty obvious,” he said, blushing and still flustered. After he calmed down a moment, he studied you. “Wait, you really didn’t notice? Doll, I’ve been tripping over you since the first time we met.” He seemed to realize though that he didn’t mean to reveal that much. “This doesn’t have to make things awkward, I won’t try anything, don’t worry.”

“Why won’t you try anything?” you asked, disappointed. That seemed to stump him, obviously not being what he expected. After a moment, though, you saw a small smile on his face.

“Did you want me to try something, doll?” He was smirking at you now, leaning in a little. You nodded absently, watching him come closer, before a thought came into your head that made you pull back.

“I’m not just an easy lay am I? The vulnerable girl that you can fuck and forget the next day?” You really hoped he would say no, but if that was all he wanted you to be, you wouldn’t be able to go through with it.

“What? No, of course not. Doll, you’re the sweetest person I know, and beautiful to boot. I see the protective way you glare at people when they look at me funny and you’re always nice to Stevie,” he said earnestly, looking you in the eyes so you knew he meant it. “And besides, I’d at least like to take you on a date first,” he joked, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

A smile broke out on your lips as you leaned in to kiss his cheek. As you pulled back, you made eye contact and he gently grabbed your face before pulling you into a sweet kiss. You had long since grown up from expecting fireworks with kisses, but damn his lips were soft and he was so sweet with you. You savored the moment before pulling back.

“So about that date?” He just grinned at you and leaned in to kiss you again.

[dailyaudiobible]

02/16/2020 DAB Transcript

Leviticus 1:1-3:17, Mark 1:29-2:12, Psalms 35:17-28, Proverbs 9:13-18

Today is the 16th day of February, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it's great to be here with you today. So weird coming to you from Rome. We spent yesterday working through jetlag but also working to capture film and photographs of some of the places here that intersect with the New Testament and will be continuing that journey through today and then moving to Israel tomorrow where we will get ready to begin the annual Daily Audio Bible pilgrimage but we talk about all that later. Let's move into the Scriptures for today. And guess what? We finished the book of Exodus yesterday, even as we were beginning the gospel of Mark. So, we have fresh books in front of us.

Introduction to the book of Leviticus:

So, Leviticus is the third book of the Torah, of the Pentateuch, the third book of the Old Testament and it was written to the children of Israel. And…I mean…we’re in the middle of the desert at this point in the story and God is establishing the terms of the covenant between himself and the nation of Israel that is being formed and it’s about a year since they’ve been out of Egypt, and the law is being given. And…and as…as we pay attention to this…and this is one of those areas where it’s like, this is a law book we’re about to read. So, we can zone out pretty easily because who goes to the library to get a law book to read unless you’re an attorney or something? But if we’ll pay attention to what's going on here, we’ll…we’ll see the plot behind the story, right? We talked about that the other day. We’ll see that everything that is being instituted is for a reason about these people's identity - who they are and who God is. And, so, we’ll see that this…this theme that God wants fellowship, but that fellowship can only happen through holiness is a huge thing. He’s…He says in this book, “I am holy therefore, you will be holy. So, if…I mean…if we just read Leviticus, just listen to the words not really, you know, paying attention to…other than what's going on then we’ll see a lot of blood in this book because there’s a lot of sacrifices in it. And if we look at the Old Testament, which is…which is ancient through the perspective of the culture that we live in right now, then yeah, it will seem barbaric and antiquated and the irrelevant and all of the things that people have said over the years but it's not. Like, we might…we might wonder like “why…why would they just start sacrificing animals? Why would God want animal sacrifices and for them to be burned up on an altar?” So, it’s like six weeks ago now that we began our journey and we were in the garden of Eden and we saw Adam and Eve and their rebellion. We talked about this. That separated them from God. And, so, when God came look for them in the cool of the evening they were hiding, and they eventually tell God that they were afraid because they were naked. And what God does is telling here - He covers them with the skins of animals. So, it was God who set this precedent of atonement and covering. It cost something to cover the man and the woman, it cost the life of an animal. So, like now in this church era that we live in we’re in a culture that…that's after Jesus came with the final sacrifice. And, so, all of that sacrificial stuff is antiquated to us and far outdated to us, but it wasn't then. And let's not forget what that final sacrifice, the one Jesus made looked like because it put on display all the barbarity of mankind. But God is baking into this culture, that sin comes at a great cost. So, you might've made it this far in the Bible before. You might have made it to Leviticus before and then started like, “I have…I don't how to relate to this.” Embrace it. What you're watching is the establishment of a culture by a sovereign God, a culture that is intended to show a fallen man the great price of its rebellion, and the great price of this separation, but to also reveal the most high God in His holiness and to understand that this people is invited into that holiness. And the whole thing is happening in the harshness of the desert wastelands where there’s nowhere for them to run. Like they're not going to go to the grocery store and pick up some corn. Like, there in the desert. There’s no place for them to resupply. And that's where we find ourselves as we begin the book of Leviticus chapter 1 through 3 today. And it's a brand-new week so we’ll read from the New International Version this week.

Prayer:

Thank You, Father for Your word. Oh Lord we love You and we thank You for bringing us into this new week and as discombobulated as travel, especially as international travel can be, we are so grateful for the opportunity to be on this pilgrimage and, indeed, we thank You for all that we are being able to see and experience. We thank You for context. We thank You for illuminating the story that is in the Bible so that we can more clearly sense You’re leading on the narrow path that leads to life, because it's a counterintuitive path and so often we find ourselves off of it, so we thank You for all of the ways in a year that You come for us through Your word and through each other and through the experiences that we share. And, so we invite You fully into every aspect of all that will be happening in the coming days. Come Holy Spirit we pray in the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, home base, it’s where you find out what’s going on around here. So, stay tuned and stay connected,

For the next couple of weeks what's gonna be going on around here is…is travel, the annual pilgrimage that we take as a community to the land of the Bible. So, we…we stopped over for two days here in Rome to capture some things. So, man, we got to visit some…some parts of the Vatican yesterday. I've never been so it's like, yeah, pretty overwhelming…pretty…pretty overwhelming. But on a more sobering note we were also able to…to visit a prison where Paul had been kept and also the…the place of his…his execution and his…his burial. He’s…he’s…like he's buried here as is the apostle Peter. So, I’ve posted some things on the Daily Audio Bible Facebook page, some pictures and stuff of what we’re seeing, what's going on. And I’ve mentioned that a couple times. This is a good time to follow the Daily Audio Bible Facebook page or on Instagram, Daily Audio Bible on Instagram Facebook.com/dailyaudiobible on Facebook . That’ll keep you connected to the…to the…the pilgrimage that we’re on because we’re kind of posting photographs, little videos, and stuff like that at as they happen at different places. So, it's kind of updated throughout the day and you can kinda check back and see what’s going on. We’ll be seeing some of ancient…of the ancient ruins of Rome and I'm very much looking forward to that today. There are just a lot of Roman ruins in the land of Israel and the biblical lands because at one point it was a part of the Roman Empire. It was a part of the Roman Empire during Jesus life and ministry. It was the Romans who executed Jesus. So, I have been familiar with the architecture and the aqueducts and just some of the magnificent places there but just sort of connect those dots to Rome itself and just sort of see some of the ancients archaeology that remains is…is gonna be great, so we’ll be posting some pictures of that today and then trying…trying to turn the corner on the jetlag as we prepare to fly over to Tel Aviv tomorrow. So, thank you for your continued prayers.

And I remind you that it is our intention to come back again next year and we pray every year. I don't know…I don't know how many years out, but we are planning to come back in 2021 and that pilgrimage is available for registration now as I have mentioned before. You can get all the details at dailyaudiobible.com in the Initiatives section, just look for Israel 2021 and you’ll be able to get all of the details they're. Looking forward to that. And as I have mentioned usually by the time this pilgrimage is over that 2021 will be mostly full, if not all the way full. So, if it's been on your bucket list then…then check it out. Hope to…hope to see you sometime. It is a life changing experience. It's weird because I've been many times but it's a life-changing experience every…every time for me. So, check it out,

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. And I thank you, I thank you profoundly for your partnership. If we didn't do this together we wouldn't be doing this at all and I'm grateful that we are. So, there's a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that is your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request a comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial or you can just hit that Hotline button, the little red button at the top of the app and start sharing from there.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi family this is his little Cherry in Canada and Brian has been reading to us from the Old Testament about the priests and their garments and all of the rituals and rigor murals that they have to go through simply to enter God’s presence and not die. And it’s not that God is waiting to zap them, it’s just that when you are dealing with a gazillion volts of electricity there are certain precautions that you have to make or you will die and God knows that. But I’ve just been so struck by how the blood of Jesus accomplished what generations of Levitical priesthood could not and now it is so effortless for us to enter God’s presence. I simply open my eyes in the morning and step into the arms who has waited for me all night. I can simply, without washing my face, without putting on certain clothing, without even praying, I can simply step into His arms and saying. [singing] in Your flowering arms in Your flowering arms there is nothing I must do but trust in You and rest. In Your flowering arms in Your flowering arms there is nothing I must bring. I sit and sing and rest. In Your flowering arms in Your flowering arms there is nothing I must be but your little Cherry I rest in Your flowering arms [sing ends].

Hi DAB family this is Nadine formally of New Hampshire now a resident of Maine. I learned that on February 3rd my father…my husband filed for divorce so pretty much just a waiting game until I get the paperwork. I just ask that you lift me up and get…pray for strength for myself and for him as well. I don’t know where I’m headed now. I’m sad and I’m broken but I can’t change things. So, just give it to God and go with the flow and just pray that my journey ahead is more than I dreamed of. Thank you.

Hi Daily Audio Bible this is Paula calling from the small island in the sea on the East Coast of Canada. I just want to say I can’t believe how God has changed my life to this broadcast. I was scrambling up an embankment with satan hanging on my heels reaching up to God. My life was in a mire and God scooped me up and without all the forcefulness of father holding onto his most prized possession he said mine to Satan and lifted me up and He has blessed me immensely through this podcast. I am amazed at what God has put before me. It is my life better? No. And understatement? No. But oh how much easier it is to handle each and every day as I join you and I hear your prayers. I pray for each and every one of you as you pray. I pray for the boys as their mom Diane spends her last days and how they need to be embraced and for the Toni’s and Bob the Budgie. And it’s just amazing how it’s simple little tweets in the background can make everything so happy. And I just feel like…like I’ve come home and you guys have pulled out the chair and patted it and said, come, come sit at the supper table. Come dine with us as we eat and of our in God’s word. And I just want to say thank you thank you so much for being yourself. I see myself in so many of you, some places I am now and some places I’ve been and I’ve been…I’m going…I’m not going to go into that. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for all you’ve done. Thank you for just being there. God bless you and I will be calling back. Thank you so much.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family this is Denise from a lot of different places but I’m in Charlotte North Carolina this minute and I just wanted to reach out to Christie from Florida/Ohio who called in and her prayer or update was played at the hour and 30 minute mark of the community prayer on February 9th and she let us all know that she was the anonymous caller from 1/6 who called in right after finding out that her sister had committed suicide. And Christie I’m so glad to know who you are. I’m so sorry for your sister and I’m sorry to find out that you’ve just lost a grandfather. I, on Mondays, have started praying for the grieving and one of the line items I have is 1/6 anonymous who lost her sister to suicide and I’m just so blessed to know that who your name is and who am praying for. Also, I’m happy to hear that you are going home to Ohio. I know that something that you have wanted and I know it’s not under the circumstances that you would’ve wished but God makes a way and if I had my Bible open I would read to you from Deuteronomy 1 but I’m not near my Bible this minute but it talks about how, you know, Moses comes down from the mountain and tells the Israelites you have gathered at this mountain too long it is time to go and he lists all these geographical places he says it’s time to go to the home of your ancestors. And any time anyone tells me they’re going home, going back to the place where there from I’m always reminded of that part in Deuteronomy and I am just happy that this is a fruition of something that you have wanted and I bless the way and I asked Father to give Christie from now all the way Ohio just for provision for the job that she’s looking for that she can be near her parents to minister them and have…be able to use her skills. And Father I just ask that you give peace to their hearts as they all come together as a family and that you watch over them in your mighty mighty name. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Good morning DABbers this is Nancy in Oregon I just want to say I’ve been to the Bible the whole entire Bible. Today is my anniversary. It was a year…a little over a year ago that I was listening to the archive. So, today is a full day or a full year that I listened to the Bible. I’ve never done that before and am just pretty excited. But on January 31 I have gone through from Genesis to Exodus with you guys. I appreciate all your songs, your poems, your support, your encouragement, your prayers, your support. Just keep praying that I can do this. Some days I go through this the serenity prayer – God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change __ I can’t go any further. So, just pray that I get through that, that I can just get and accept things that I cannot change and the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I’m hanging in there. I’m going to CR and it’s the faith-based kind of like __ with families and__ other things that I’m __ for. Thank you for your support, your encouragement. I love you guys and I’m sharing this program with others so that it they can enjoy it too and go to the Bible. God’s glory. It’s all about Jesus. Jesus and nothing but Jesus. Thank you so much. Bye-bye.

Hi Daily Audio Bible my name is Lisa I’m calling from Central Florida it’s Monday, February 10th. The reason for my call is I would like to ask for prayers for my husband Michael. He was diagnosed with ocular melanoma 18 years ago. He’s had some issues, health issues that we’re addressing the different diagnostic testing - CT scan, upper G.I., and that type of thing. I’m very worried about him. He doesn’t take care of himself and he hasn’t health wise for someone who had cancer. And I just wish that he would, you know, realize that my son and I really want him to be around and to start taking care of himself when he should. I just ask for prayers for him for these testings that are coming up and I just pray that everything’s okay and that he realizes that we do love him and want him to be around and just to start taking care of himself. I appreciate all prayers. Thank you very much. I recently started listening January 1st. My son Dylan actually introduced me to the Daily Audio Bible, and it’s been a blessing ever since. I made a New Year’s resolution that I was gonna start listening and I have listened every day since January 1st and I listen to all the prayers and I pray for all of you. It’s just amazing to me all that Brian has done, and I appreciate it and I thank you and I love you all. Bye-bye.

[beckzorz]

Out of Nowhere (14/21)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OFC Summary: An offhand comment at work draws Jesse Kaplan into the orbit of Bucky Barnes. Bucky’s excited at the prospect of normalcy, but there’s nothing normal about falling in love with the Winter Soldier. Words: 3142 A/N: The song for this chapter is “I Guess I’ll Have To Change My Plan” by Jack Teagarden on Nobody Knows.

PART 14: “I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO CHANGE MY PLAN”

A knock on the door startled Jesse awake. She stared around, momentarily confused, until she remembered she was at Bucky’s place. In Bucky’s bed. Jesse sat up quickly, blinked to restore her equilibrium, and smoothed down her hair.

“Yeah?” she asked, voice hoarse with sleep. A clock by the side of the bed glowed dimly at her—god, it was barely past five. She rubbed her eyes and shook herself a little more awake.

Bucky opened the door and came a few steps inside before he paused, eyes wide. The sight of him put a smile on her face. He looked good, considering the hour, and he’d shed his long-sleeved shirt for a tank top. She’d been surprised last night when he’d rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, but this… Jesse had never seen his scars before. Her smile faded fast. The scars that stretched from the junction of his left shoulder and his prosthetic arm were stark against the rest of his skin, and she had to look away. Maybe one day she would be used to seeing the evidence of torture on him, but not yet. Not yet.

Jesse looked down and flushed. Well, no wonder Bucky was just standing there. The wide v-neck of her borrowed nightshirt had gone askew during the night, laying bare one of her shoulders and more skin on her chest than even her sexiest tops showed. One of her legs was mostly exposed, too. She tugged the collar back over her shoulder and crossed her legs under the blanket.

“Sorry,” she said. “Um… what’s up?”

Bucky blinked and strode over to the bed, any trace of surprise gone. He sat right beside her, his thigh pressed against her covered knee, and set the laptop in front of them. “It’s done.”

Jesse blew out a breath between her teeth. Her body tensed up as she waited for Bucky to finish generating the data he’d been hoping for. Had they found a jackpot or a minefield?

“Here,” Bucky said at last. “Your list.” He sat back and gestured for Jesse to read. Her eyes were still a little blurred from sleep, so she leaned forward, propping herself up on her hand. There were a few things open on the screen, but a spreadsheet with her own name on it grabbed her attention first.

The spreadsheet was full of information, a different person on each row. Jesse scrolled across the row assigned to her, her eyes widening as she saw how much information they had gotten. Appearance, address, phone number, social media accounts, weekly schedule… And none of it looked wrong.

“Jesus,” she whispered. She pressed a hand to her mouth and scrolled up and down. There were twenty-eight people on the list; Jesse was number twenty-three. Most of them were young women, and almost all were from Brooklyn or Queens. The one who’d almost shot Mike was twenty-four. If they were working through one person a week, this had been going on for months already, practically since the beginning of the year!

Jesse opened the spreadsheet’s second tab and blanched. This one had less information, but there were hundreds of names. Hundreds!

“What the hell,” she breathed.

“Yeah,” Bucky said darkly. “That’s just the beginning.” He made a separate spreadsheet fullscreen and shifted the laptop back in her direction.

Another list of people. Jesse frowned.

“I recognize some of these names,” she blurted. “That’s… my state senator? And that city councilor with the baby! What the hell are they planning?” She twisted around to face Bucky.

“That’s the problem.” He grimaced and scooched back to lean against the headboard. “There’s nothing.”

Jesse groaned and scooted back too, though she maintained a foot of distance from Bucky. “Fuck.”

“You talked with Mike yesterday,” Bucky said. “What did he say? Anything?”

“Nothing about their goals,” she admitted, and Bucky pursed his lips. Jesse could have kicked herself. Why hadn’t she thought to ask Mike more?

“Well, with all this, there’s gotta be something to pin on them. Even if there’s no clear motive.” Bucky pushed his hair back from his face and glanced at her. His gaze dropped from her eyes to her shoulders, then slowly roved back up. Heat prickled along Jesse’s neck. Bucky swallowed. “I—”

His phone buzzed. Bucky flinched and turned away. Jesse let out a slow breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.

Whatever notification he’d gotten must have been urgent. Bucky sprang to his feet and headed to the door.

“Some of your stuff’s over on the dresser. Get dressed,” he said curtly, and then he was out of the room. The door closed sharply behind him.

Jesse stretched her legs, face pinched. Every time she thought something was about to happen, nothing did. Nothing was going to happen. She needed to focus, damn it.

She slid out from under the covers and gathered the outfit Bucky had left for her. She tugged on her leggings, but she hesitated to remove Bucky’s shirt. She clenched her hands around the fabric at her collarbone and pulled it to her nose. She breathed deep, eyes closed. The nightshirt had absorbed some of the scent of his sheets, and Jesse was loath to discard it for a bloodstained dress. But she couldn’t just take his things, no matter how much she wanted to bottle up that comforting smell and all the feelings that went with it. She pulled off his shirt and quickly put on her bra—if she didn’t get a change, she’d wear it out soon enough—and the blue dress.

Before she headed out, she checked herself in the mirror over his bureau. The bags under her eyes weren’t particularly noticeable, the bandage on her face was a reasonable size, and once she braided her hair she looked almost presentable. Not that Bucky had ever noticed how she looked, apart from her fifties dress at the confounded Stark benefit and her immodest wake-up attire today.

Well, she cared even if he didn’t. She shuddered to think of all the times he’d seen her looking out of joint. But right now, she looked alright. She licked her dry lips, made the bed, and folded the nightshirt. Her fingers lingered on the cotton as she left it on the pillow.

Jesse opened the door back out to the main space and froze. The bedroom door was straight across from the front door, and Bucky was talking to someone there in the dark entryway too softly for Jesse to hear. Neither of them seemed to have noticed her. Bucky’s shoulders were tight; his white tank was fitted enough that she could see how tense he was even from thirty feet behind.

After a minute, she edged farther into the living room. Bucky spun around. Without his body hiding most of his guest’s, Jesse recognized the redheaded woman who had swapped places with her at the hospital.

“Natasha?” she said.

“Jesse.” Natasha nodded in greeting. At the hospital, she’d been dressed to match Jesse, but now she was just in black jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. Her face was pale, and her mouth was tight. “I’m here to take you somewhere safe.”

Jesse glanced at Bucky. His expression was flat, different from his usual stressed face. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“I’m here to escort you to a safehouse,” Natasha replied.

“That isn’t any different from what you just said,” Jesse pointed out.

Natasha’s lips twitched; she glanced at Bucky with a flicker of amusement. “You’re not safe in the city. We have a safehouse upstate.”

Jesse blinked. “I can’t go upstate,” she said. “I have work.”

“You’re not safe here,” Natasha repeated. “No offense, Barnes.” Bucky dipped his chin the barest amount. A muscle in his jaw jumped.

Did his own teammates not even call him by name? Jesse flexed her hands at her sides; her shoulders felt as stiff as Bucky’s looked. “Why do you say I’m not safe? What happened?” she asked Natasha.

“Someone tried to kill you last night,” Natasha said.

“Well, yes,” Jesse said. “But they don’t know—”

“What?!” Natasha spun on Bucky, brows drawn low. “Tell me you didn’t take her with you.” Bucky didn’t answer immediately, and Natasha punched his arm as she scowled at him. “I can’t believe this! Bucky, she’s a civilian.”

“It’s not his fault,” Jesse cut in. “I mean… our inside contact pretty much required me to go if Bucky was going to get in.”

“He could’ve got in all on his own just fine,” Natasha countered. “There’s no situation he couldn’t have made work. He’s a professional.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “This is beside the point. Those people? They came to the hospital last night, and they tried to kill you.”

Jesse blanched. “No! Are you okay? I’m so sorry—”

“Jesse,” Bucky interrupted. She fell silent and stared at him with wide eyes. He didn’t meet her gaze. “Not your fault.”

“That’s not what I—Are you okay?” she asked Natasha.

“Oh, I’m fine.” Natasha glanced again at Bucky. “But someone came looking for you, and it’s only so long before they start up again. Someone’s coming to pick us up. I’ll bring you to our safehouse myself.”

“I can’t just leave,” Jesse protested. “I have a job, I have a family, I have…” She trailed off, somewhat abashed. Did she even have friends? After all this drama, would Bucky still want anything to do with her? Not to mention her poor roommate. And how long had it been since she’d chatted with Adrian? Did she really have anyone? “I have friends,” she finished defensively.

“Your life is in danger,” Natasha said sharply.

“That doesn’t mean I can just drop everything!” Jesse’s breath came fast; she tried to take a deep breath, but her heart kept racing. “I can’t just abandon my work. And I have to Skype with my parents on Sunday!” She took a step back when Natasha tried to come closer. Bucky just loomed back in the shadows, staring at the wall.

Natasha pinched the bridge of her nose. “The authorities can talk to your work. We’ll arrange it, and you should be fine. If your work fires you for being under threat by a terrorist group, they’re assholes you shouldn’t work for anyway. And we’ve got ways for you to contact your family without these people finding out.”

Jesse floundered. All that… made sense. She bit her lip as she thought it through, never taking her eyes from Natasha. She still didn’t quite trust that she wasn’t going to be carted off against her will. The Avengers, these former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, they had contacts everywhere. The Avengers facility was supposed to be upstate, anyway. At least she wasn’t being told to leave the country. And BCEI were understanding. If Marilyn could work remotely due to her injury, maybe Jesse could too. The work was important, and she didn’t want to make everyone else’s lives impossible because of the trap she’d fallen into.

Her eyes slid at last to Bucky. He was still staring at the wall, and his expression was as chilly as it been the first time she’d seen him. She knew now it wasn’t an angry look, but her stomach dropped all the same.

“Bucky?” Jesse asked. His head perked up. “Can we talk?”

Bucky glanced at Natasha, who nodded. Bucky squeezed past her and led Jesse into the bedroom. The door closed behind them with a loud click.

Jesse sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. She tucked her hands under her legs and watched, face pinched, as Bucky pressed his hand against the door by the knob. When he finally turned towards her, his expression was blank. The chill was gone, but no warmth had replaced it.

“What?” he asked.

“You seem… Are you okay?”

Bucky blinked. “I’m fine,” he said. “You should go with Nat.”

“I don’t think I have much choice.” Jesse sighed. “If that’s what you both think, I will go. I just don’t want to go without—talking to you.” Her voice caught. Bucky’s expression softened; Jesse’s heart warmed as he sat by her.

“It’ll be fine, Jess,” he said, slinging his heavy arm around her shoulders. “Nat’s a much better person to have looking out for you.”

Jesse laughed out loud and leaned against him. Her cheek was pressed against his bare shoulder; his skin was warm. She could feel his quick heartbeat against her skin. How was it that they kept getting more and more intimate? Maybe she really didn’t have enough friends, if this was what it was supposed to be like.

“I don’t believe that for a second,” she said. “Natasha didn’t even warn me when she shot me with those steroids.”

“I don’t remember giving you a head’s up about knocking you out.” His chest rumbled with a quiet laugh.

“That was the right call,” Jesse said. If he hadn’t gone for it, who knew where she’d be right now? Certainly not sitting on Bucky’s bed, tucked under his arm, his heartbeat a steady rhythm against her cheek. “Natasha could have warned me. I don’t think you could’ve, not without things going to hell even faster.”

Bucky hummed in agreement.

Jesse’s eyes slid shut. For a few moments, at least, she could relax. God knew what would happen once she left. Natasha Romanoff was a virtual stranger. Almost everything Jesse knew of her was years old and probably from biased news sources. If nothing else, Bucky was a known quantity. Jesse knew him; she trusted him. He’d been nothing but good to her, despite all her blundering and awkwardness, not to mention all the problems she’d brought into his life. And to think, it had all started because she’d had to sub at a fancy benefit.

“Do you know,” she murmured, “I’m glad I had to go to that benefit.”

“You finally decided it was worth it, huh?”

Jesse opened her eyes and sat up. “It was worth it,” she said.

Bucky’s arm slid from over her shoulders to around her back, his hand warm and soft on her shoulder blade. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers. Jesse’s breath caught as she looked at him. God, he was so close, so beautiful, with his eyes closed and his soft mouth just curving into a smile. She could have stayed here gazing at him forever, she loved him so much.

Jesse’s lips parted in shock. She sprang to her feet, face hot and stomach churning.

“What is it?” Bucky blurted. He leapt up, the hand that had been on her back twitching.

“I… I just—excuse me,” she blurted. She burst out of the bedroom and went straight into the bathroom, not daring to look at Natasha. She slammed the door behind her and locked it.

Holy shit!

She loved Bucky? She loved Bucky! What the hell!

Jesse gripped the edge of the sink and stared at her reflection. How had she missed this? Had it just happened, right there sitting together? Had there been some spark when their faces touched, or had this all been going on for weeks?

Surprise didn’t quite capture her feelings. She was startled, but she couldn’t really be surprised. Dear god, who could overlook Bucky? How could anyone be immune to him? She’d never been. If she wasn’t perturbed, she was aching with silent longing. And given everything, who could blame her? He could turn her into a puddle in his arms; he’d saved her more times than she wanted to think about; he liked her, actually liked her for herself. Her lips quirked up into a smile.

How could she have resisted?

And what the hell was she supposed to do about it?

Jesse’s smile died. She knew the answer to that question, at least. What was she supposed to do? The same thing she’d been doing since the start: nothing.

She’d put Bucky through enough. He didn’t need to deal with her dumb feelings too, especially not now while there was an evil organization out to get them. She’d be the master of herself, and Bucky could live his life.

She’d live with what she got. And no more.

Jesse washed her face, brushed her teeth. She grabbed her toothbrush as she left the bathroom.

Bucky was standing with Natasha by the couch; they both turned to stare at her as she came out.

“Sorry,” Jesse said. She put a hand to her stomach, hoping the insinuation of nausea would ward off further questions.

It did.

“Ready?” Natasha asked.

“One sec.” Jesse ducked back into the bedroom and grabbed her backpack. She glanced one last time around the room; the shirt she’d worn was still on the pillow, waiting for Bucky to wash away all evidence of her.

She pressed a hand to her mouth, sucked in a final breath, and left.

“I’m ready,” she told Natasha. She didn’t look at Bucky.

“Good,” Natasha said. She pushed herself off the couch and went straight for the door.

Jesse paused in front of the couch. She glanced up just far enough to see Bucky’s chin. “Bye, Bucky.”

“Hey,” he protested, grabbing her arm. She winced; he’d bruised her badly last night, though no marks had formed yet. “Shit, I’m sorry.” His hand slid down to her wrist; goosebumps ran down her arm in its wake. “Listen…”

Jesse finally looked Bucky in the face. He was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Her eyes fixed on his mouth until he let out a sigh and glanced over towards Natasha. Jesse’s jaw ticked, and she looked away.

“Take care of yourself, Jesse,” Bucky said at last. He dropped her wrist. She forced a smile as her stomach dropped.

“I’ll do my best.”

Jesse followed Natasha out. She didn’t look back, not even when the door shut.

“Listen,” Natasha said in the elevator down, “as secure as his place seems, it’s got nothing to the safehouse. You’ll be perfectly safe.”

“Sure.” Jesse stared at the floor, eyes blurring.

Whatever Natasha thought, Jesse couldn’t imagine feeling safer outside of the city. However temporary, Bucky’s place had felt like her home. Bucky felt like home. That aborted moment when he’d pressed his forehead to hers and smiled…

Jesse clenched her teeth. A black car with tinted windows waited right at the entrance. Natasha ushered Jesse into the back and followed closely, her red hair swinging against Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse didn’t recognize the driver, but Natasha ordered them to head out without preamble.

As the car peeled away from the curb, Jesse glanced back to Bucky’s building. Other buildings blocked it from view in seconds. Jesse turned and wrapped her arms around herself.

Bucky’s place was closed to her now, and she was at the mercy of strangers.

A/N: ...Sorry guys. In my defense, I did say this was a slow burn XD What did you think???

[lovemesomerafael]

EL AMOR TODO LO PUEDE Chapter 21:  Playing Charades

GIF Source:  All-things-raul-esparza

Read Previous Chapters 1-20

If Mazie Anderson was having difficulty handling her emotions after being raped, she did a good job hiding it.  Nonetheless, she was entitled to the same support any victim received.  Which meant that, when she insisted on attending the arraignment of the man who’d attacked her, Laura went with her.  The arraignment docket dragged on and on, with little to break the monotony.  Eventually, however, the case was called and a junior A.D.A. Laura hadn’t met stood to request a very high bail.  Mazie looked the rapist full in the face and sat calmly as he was arraigned.  Bail was set at $100,000, which meant he couldn’t bond out for less than $10,000.  It was enough.  

Laura put Mazie in a cab and headed to work herself.  Since becoming a cop, she’d always hated court days because she felt like she was missing out on the action.  Today was no different.  

When she got to the station, Fin and Carisi had a goofy-looking guy in the box who appeared to be in his mid-thirties.  He was pale and sweating, but that seemed to be his normal state, because he wasn’t frightened.  He was mad. As Laura stepped up to the window into the interrogation room, she could hear him spewing venomous misogynistic slogans that sounded like they came straight off the internet.  Which they did.  “Involuntary Celibates,” or “Incels” as they liked to call themselves, had possibly been created by the internet.  They were guys who couldn’t figure out how to relate to women and had convinced one another that all women were part of a conspiracy to deny them attention, love, and especially sex.  They spent all their time on hate-filled websites with like-minded idiots, regurgitating the idea that women owed them all of those things, without them needing to be worthy of any of them.  They repeated it to each other until they believed it.  

Lieutenant Benson and A.D.A. Barba stood at the window, watching and listening.  Laura figured that, given their last conversation, it was the better part of valor not to stand next to Barba.  She took a place on the other side of Benson.  

“Incels.  I love these guys,” Laura said by way of greeting.

“You love these guys?” Benson asked, raising an eyebrow.

“They’re so easy to break. All you have to do is give them what they want, and they freak out.”

Barba kept his eyes on the interrogation as he muttered, “Define ‘give them what they want’.”

Amanda Rollins stepped up at that moment.  “Act interested.  They don’t know what to do with a girl who says yes, so they fall all over themselves and give you everything.”  

“Want us to give it a try?” Laura looked hopefully at Benson who, in turn, looked at Barba.

“We don’t really need to listen to any more of this crap, do we?”  She asked him.

“We’ve got plenty to show motive.  But we’re nowhere near a confession.  It couldn’t hurt.”

Olivia nodded. “OK.  You’re up.”

Laura turned to Amanda. “You or me?”

Rollins held up a fist. “Loser goes in.”

Laura put up her fist, they shook three times, and Laura threw paper.  Amanda threw scissors.

“Damn it,” Laura laughed, not really disappointed.  This could be fun.  “Help me get ready.”

When Parker and Rollins returned to the interrogation room door, Laura had removed almost all her makeup. She had on just enough mascara to highlight her large, brown eyes.  Instead of the chic suit she’d spent too much on, she wore a simple white sleeveless turtleneck, a skirt that came to mid-thigh and swung around her legs as she moved, and low heels.  Her hair was down, in a simple style with the front pulled to one side in a barrette, and she was wearing glasses.  The changes were subtle, but the effect was dramatic.  She looked vulnerable and insecure as she stood there clutching a clipboard to her chest.  Barba instantly wanted to protect her.

“OK,” Olivia smiled. “I’ll go pull Fin and Carisi out.”

“Don’t let ‘em clean off the table,” Rollins suggested.

“I know what you have in mind.  I’ve already briefed Fin.”

As Benson went into the interrogation room, Laura turned to Barba, addressing him directly for the first time since she’d gone to his office the night before.  Her eyes were full of mischief, something he suspected was not unusual with her.

“I could use your help.”

“What do you need?”

“Remember what we talked about yesterday?  Could you give me time to bond with him a little bit, and then come in and do your thing?”  

“Now you want me to talk down to you,” he said drily.

“Might as well use your powers for good.”  She smiled up at him.

Jesus y Santa Maria.  For a moment, he was dumbstruck as he felt the full impact of the impish, conspiratorial expression she beamed at him.  What would it be like to share plots and secrets with this woman?  Barba’s dislike of Peter Stone doubled in that moment.  

 “Fin, Carisi, I need you to come with me.  We have a situation,” Benson ordered, keeping her hand on the doorknob as though in a hurry.”

“We need to finish in here,” Carisi complained, exchanging a surprised look with Fin.

“Parker can finish this,” Olivia said.

Fin’s face fell. “Parker.  Is gonna finish our interrogation.”

“Detective…” Olivia’s voice held a note of warning.

They shrugged and stood, moving toward the door.  Laura walked in past Olivia, clutching her clipboard and standing with her shoulders hunched, as though uncomfortable.  Carisi and Fin stood and moved toward the door.  Fin gestured toward the table, strewn with soda cans and crumpled papers.  

“You can get this stuff for us, right, Laura?”  He didn’t wait for an answer.

She stepped to the table as the door closed behind her.  

“I’m Laura Parker,” she said, holding out her hand to the suspect.  “I’m one of the detectives here.”

He awkwardly touched her hand, but barely grasped it.  She clasped his softly but definitely, holding it just long enough for him to register the feeling of her hand in his.  “Yeah, I’ll just call you Stacy,” he sneered.

Laura blinked at him as she took the chair closest to him.  “It’s… It’s Laura.”

He guffawed and rolled his eyes.  “Oh, brother.”

“You’re Brian Cudahay, I know.  Is it all right if I call you Brian?”

“Whatever.”  

She smiled as though he’d granted her a favor.

“Before we start, are you OK?  Do you need anything?”  Her demeanor was kind and interested.

“I could use a blow job,” he leered.  

She looked slightly uncomfortable and turned her eyes to the table.  “Maybe later,” she muttered shyly.  “Let’s do the paperwork first.”  

That threw him.  She was supposed to have turned red and bit his head off.  “Weren’t you supposed to clean this stuff up, detective?”  He tried again to insult her.

She stood and began placidly picking up the mess from the table, tossing it in the trash.  As intended, he watched her legs and backside as she moved around, deliberately giving him plenty of opportunity.  

“At some point those guys will figure out I can do more than clean up after them,” she remarked.  

Rafael, watching through the one-way glass, rolled his eyes.  This Cinderella act is never going to work.  But those legs might.

“So, Brian, another piece of crucial police work they let me do is fill out these forms.  Can I ask you some questions?”  

For the next twenty minutes, Laura wrote useless information on a form she’d quickly printed out before coming into the room.  It was actually used for new NYPD employees to sign up for health insurance, but it gave her the opportunity to be fascinated by every detail of Brian Cudahay’s personal information, and begin to draw him out.  Few people can resist talking about themselves to someone who appears to find them enthralling, and this guy was a frustrated virgin being played by a very experienced flirt who happened to be adorable.  

Barba could feel Cudahay thawing toward her, then beginning to melt.  Cudahay didn’t even notice when she completely abandoned the charade of filling out the forms.  Soon, he was telling her about his ant farm.  An ant farm, Laura thought.  If this guy wasn’t such a woman-hating piece of shit, he’d actually be kind of cute.  

Forty-five minutes in, Cudahay was on his fourth story in which he featured prominently in some heroic role, this time finding a way to repair the milkshake machine at the fast-food place where he worked.  Laura hung on every word.  Barba smirked as he watched, shaking his head.  Poor sucker never stood a chance.  I feel for ya’, buddy.  

“I think it’s showtime,” Olivia told him.  He straightened his jacket and moved to the door.  The rest of the team continued to watch Parker carefully weave her web around the clueless Incel.  

As Barba assertively threw the door open and strode into the room, Laura sucked in her breath and moved noticeably toward Cudahay.  She stammered a bit before standing up so quickly she knocked her pen to the floor. As Barba had expected, she leaned over from the waist to pick it up, giving Cudahay the opportunity to experience her swingy skirt up close as it slid up her thighs.  Por Dios, Barba thought.  She’s shameless.  

“Oh… Mr. Barba… Are you…?”

“I’ll take it from here, Miss Parker,” he said, spreading his leather-bound folder on the table and sitting across from Cudahay in a position that took up as much space as possible.  He didn’t look at her even when addressing her.  

She awkwardly sat down, muttering so quietly only Cudahay could hear, “It’s Detective Parker.”

Had the squad not known better, they would have joined Cudahay in believing that Barba was the biggest prick in the city and that Parker was terrified of him.  

“I’m A.D.A. Rafael Barba. I just need to ask you a couple of questions about your attacks on these women,” he arrogantly tossed a set of photographs across the table.  

“I didn’t attack anyone,” Cudahay began, puffing out his chest as he took in the new dynamics in the room.

“Normally, I’d be entranced, but I’m due in court.  So let’s skip the fairy tales, hmmm?”

“Hey, man-“

Laura put a hand on Cudahay’s arm and looked up at him through her eyelashes as though trying to warn him, or protect him, or something.  She was on his side.

“Mr. Barba, I-“

“Miss Parker, please. I don’t have time.”

“Sir, I’m, um… well into questioning the suspect.  You really don’t need to stay.”

Barba gave her a look that she never wanted to see for real.  Holy shit, but that man could scowl.  

“Are you suggesting that you can do my job better than I can?”

“Oh, no, Sir, it’s just that-“

“I’ll tell you what, dickwad,” Cudahay interjected, leaning across the table toward Barba.  “Get lost.  I don’t have to talk to you.  I’m only talking to her.”  

“Her.”  The single syllable dripped with condescension and appalled amusement, but it was the raised eyebrows coupled with the slightest upturn of his lips that had Laura biting her lip to keep from grinning.  He inspected Cudahay as he would something foul he’d just discovered stuck to the bottom of his shoe.  

Cudahay seemed to think he’d won a point.  He sat straighter in his chair and lifted his chin.  Laura mirrored his posture, moving yet closer to him.  It’s us against him, she silently signaled to her new protector, Brian.

Barba’s posture and expression as he pointedly closed his folder were half disappointment, half disbelief at the stupidity of some inferior people.  It was a masterful performance that Laura thought had probably been perfected over years of doing the same thing to signal that some plea deal was too idiotic to even consider.  

“Very well,” he said quietly and with careful enunciation.  “Miss Parker can take your statement.  I’m due in court.”  

Laura and Cudahay watched in silence as he swept from the room.  As soon as the door closed, Cudahay turned to Laura.  

“Are you OK?”  He was all solicitous concern.  

“I’m, um… I’m…” she faltered, her voice close to breaking.

Outside the room, the whole squad was chuckling.

“Are those actual tears?” Carisi asked with delight.  

Barba shook his head yet again.  “That woman is not to be trusted.”  

“Y’all are pathetic,” Rollins smiled.  

Laura knew she had him when Cudahay handed her a crumpled tissue from the pocket of his jeans.  She let him comfort her, clumsy and inept, while she leaned on his shoulder.  

“Thanks for being so understanding, Brian.  I appreciate you being on my side.  You must have a lot of girlfriends.”

“There it is,” Fin laughed outside the window.

“See, I woulda gone for the puppy dog eyes right there,” Rollins weighed in.  “She loses a couple of style points on that one.”

“I feel bad for the guy. I kinda wanna go in there and rescue him.”

“Carisi, you are too soft hearted for this job,” Amanda told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

 “Actually, Laura,” Cudahay said, trying to find the courage to put his arm around her, “I don’t have a girlfriend.  Women don’t really… like me.”

“I don’t believe that,” she responded coyly.  

“In fact, a couple of them have been real bi-  witches about it.”

With that, the story began to unfold.  For an hour, all Laura had to do was look at him with doe eyes and make sympathetic noises while Brian Cudahay confessed to four attacks on women: one more than the NYPD had even linked to him.  

The change in Cudahay when Fin came in to arrest him was blood-curdling.  That little bitch had just confirmed everything he and his Incel buddies believed about whores using sex to get whatever they wanted and denying him his rightful share.  The noxious, vindictive things he said to and about Parker were nothing new in that room, but Barba made a note to represent the People personally at Cudahay’s bail hearing.  Best if he didn’t have the opportunity to go looking for her for a while.

Laura wasn’t gloating when she came out of the interrogation room.  She was glad to have gotten the confessions.  Cudahay deserved to go to prison for what he’d done to those women.  But she wished this guy would have had the opportunity to go out and meet someone, rather than getting sucked into the self-fulfilling misery of the Incel websites.  He could’ve been OK.

Rafael could guess what she was thinking.  It was to her credit that she wasn’t taking a victory lap.  

“Hey, thanks,” she said to him.  “You were amazing.  Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

And then she grinned and held out a fist.  

Rafael Barba had never fist bumped in his life.  No one would ever have thought to suggest such a thing.  Rafael Barba did things like shake hands and clink crystal.  Yet here she was, grinning and waiting with her fist out.  Could she really have that mistaken an impression of him?  He didn’t think so.  He thought she probably had quite an accurate impression of him.  And she was laughing at him.  He should have hated it.

He grinned back and bumped her fist.

[foxxygold-blog]

South Park High School Jokester

                                                       Chapter ~ 1

               “Butters, there is no way the new kid did that. You probably making shit up,” Stan muttered with a sigh walking with his group of friends towards the new kid’s house. Butters, the young blonde man who had visited your house just the day before was stammering and looking nervous.

               “I’m not making it up! I could feel the base in my bones while the music was being blasted, and they had, t-they had these huge bongs while screaming at us!” Butters cried in agony, doing his best to convince his friends what he had seen. All the others just rolled their eyes, there was no way someone like that just moved in. Sure, South Park was known for the unknown showing up but the people were normally, well, normal.

               You quietly poked your head out from behind your curtains and could see a bunch of boys making their way down the street. Seeing the young blonde boy from the day prior, you gave a hum of happiness and closed your curtains. This time, you decided, you’d play another joke on all the new guys. This one would be more tame, as to not scare away some of your new probably friends. Your room was still littered with plenty of boxes you needed to unpack, but all you had pulled out was a bunch of your gag gifts you’d gotten from friends. You pulled out the iconic horse's head and starred at its black, dead eyes before slipping on the mask.

               Since yesterday, your mother had taken the stereo and moved it downstairs, though it was yours, she liked to use it to play music for the company when they were over. Before the boys could get there, you grabbed your phone and raced downstairs, quickly plugging in your phone and letting it connect before search through your music library and finding the folder that said “Ironic Memes” on it. Scrolling through each song, you finally found “Trapped in the Drive-Thru” by Weird Al Yankovic and fast forwarded it, keeping it paused at just the right timing. You looked at yourself in a nearby mirror and adjusted the horse mask appropriately and stood at the front door. Your mother, coming in from the backyard stared at your back for a while, trying to figure out you were doing before shaking her head and deciding it wasn’t worth the time of her day to figure out what you were doing.

               Soon enough the knocking on the door sounded and you couldn’t help but hold back your giggles, taking in a deep breath and holding it to hold back your laughing before answering the door.

               Stan looked around at the top of the house with a hum, hearing the door open, he opened his mouth to speak before looking at who answered the door and froze. There you were, standing in some oversized pj’s your favorite band scrawled all across the pants and a boring, plain grey t-shirt with a horse mask on. The silence seemed to go on forever, all of his friends standing quietly behind him, questioning the situation and what was going on. Just as Stan opened his mouth, you hit the play button on a little remote in your hand; the song picking up you had set it on.

               “But he looks at me.” You paused it again, watching the boy startled by the sudden music. Watching him move and about to say something again, you started it back up again, inching closer to him.

               “And I look at him.” Pause.

               Stan took a nervous step back; you could the blonde shaking from where he stood. He truly did not understand what the hell you were doing.

               “And he looks at me.” Pause. Another inch closer.

               “And I LOOK AT HIM!” The rubber plastic of the horse's open mouth was now kissing Stan’s face as he and all the other boys looked at you like you were crazy. Soon enough your mother came running over and shoved you backward, muttering and begging for apologies as she unplugged the stereo and kept you shoved behind her. You couldn’t help but fall on your butt and laugh, rolling around with the horse mask still on.

               “What the absolute fuck,” the green hated one yelled in confusion.

               “I’m SO SORRY, about this you see, they… Ugh! Damn it (y/n) introduce yourself normally for once!” Your mother demanded as she turned back to your rolling around figure. You sat up and sighed, blowing a raspberry at your mother before standing up and pulling your mask off and tossing it onto the couch. The guys all seemed to stare at you, no longer in shock but mostly in confusion.

               “My name is (y/n) and I live here now. I’m kinda gonna go to your high school unless you guys go to a different one. I like to mess with people if you couldn’t tell,” you smiled.

               You could hear one boy in the back losing their shit, and a sudden wave of embarrassment ran over you. Maybe they were laughing at how you looked? Or maybe your joke was really lame? You rubbed your arm nervously, growing embarrassed as the laughing in the back continued.

               “S-Sorry if that joke was really lame,” you muttered. God, you hadn’t even been here for a week and these guys probably thought you were really lame now. Your image at school was going down the shitter faster than you thought it would. Though, it wasn’t like you really cared about your image at school. All you cared about, was not being bullied or picked on, and you were chill with that. If word got around your jokes were old, washed out, or even lame? Well, guess it was time to just yeet back home to where dad lived.

               “Lame? Are you fucking kidding me? That was hilarious! All of their faces? Like ‘what the fuck is going on?’ and then you kissed----pft HAHAHAHAHAHA.” The largest boy in the group was almost doubled over laughing, stopping his feet and holding his stomach as he laughed his heart out.

               “Sorry for our shock we just um.. We didn’t know you would greet us like this, nor did we really know that you were um.. A girl?” Green hat spoke up again, looking around confused.

               “You see, our friend Butters here told us about his run-in with you the other day--.”

               “You scared the Jesus outta me and my parents! I thought I peed my pants,” the blonde cried.

               “You looked like you did when I saw you and your parents run outta here,” you muttered with a small laugh.

               You rubbed the back of your head before sighing, your mother grabbing and pinching your ear out of nowhere caused you to cry and whine, grabbing her wrist and begging her to let you go.

               “Apologize,” she demanded.

               “Ow, FUCK! Okay, I’m sorry!”

               “For what?”

               “For making you make out with the horse mask!” The pudgy one began laughing harder.

               “AND?!”

               “Gah, fuck this hurts! And for scaring you and your parent's blondie, those were fake bongs! It was a MEME—FOR FUCKS SAKE LET ME GO WOMAN IT HURTS!” Your mother sighed, letting you go before making you face her.

               “You will go over there and apologize to his parents. Do I make myself clear?”

               “Yes ma’am,” you groaned. You turned to the boys and hummed.

               “It’s cold out there. You can come in and sit in the living room till I’m dressed and then we can get the old introductions outta the way. As you know, my name is (y/n), have fun waiting for me.”

               You galloped upstairs with a sigh as the boys entered the home and took a seat in the living room or kitchen. You quietly entered your room and hummed, going over to the half-open box of clothes and pulled out whatever was on top. You lazily tossed on a plain t-shirt that wasn’t used for sleeping in, your pair of favorite jeans, and a jacket meant for going out in cold weather. You slipped on a pair of fuzzy and thick socks before grabbing your shoes and slipping them on. You looked in the mirror and lazily fixed your hair so it was presentable and made your way back downstairs. Your mother was quick on her feet to present warm beverages and snacks. You rolled your eyes and shrugged on your coat quickly before stopping at the end of the stairs.

               “Now, you be nice to those people okay? We just got here and I, as a grown adult, would like adult friends not scared off by their kid,” she smiled. You hummed, smiling back and giving her a quick hug as she kissed the top of your head and shoved a plate wrapped in plastic too you. Looking down, you hummed, moms famous baked goods. These won over just about anyone.

               “I promise I will, I love you, I’ll see you when I get home if these guys don’t win me over and show me around town.” You nodded your head toward all the boys who, visibly, looked quite uncomfortable, except for the tubby one. Your mom gave you one last hug before you moved and opened the door, staring the boys down in your own way to tell them it was time to go. As they quickly emptied their cups and thanked your mother for the drinks and snacks, they ushered themselves out before stepping out into the freezing cold.

               As the last one out of the door, you shut it carefully and checked your pocket it for your phone, reaching back inside and jack it form the stereo before declaring you were now ready to go.

               “So, who first? I guess the blonde kid since I made him almost pee his pants in my house,” you smiled. Watching him grow embarrassed and uncomfortable, he rubbed the back of his head nervously while smiling.

               “Everyone calls me Butters, my parents' names are Stephen and Linda. They aren’t angry at you for what you did, but they were, concerned,” he muttered. As you reached up to the front door, you knocked on it softly, quietly tapping your foot and waiting for an answer, deciding it would be a polite thing to do instead of asking Butters to waltz you straight into his home and up to his parents.

               As his parents opened the door, you gave them a shy smile and gave a slight shrug of your shoulders.

               “Sorry Mister and misses….?”

               “Stotch and it really is no problem at all dear. We were just, quite spooked,” Linda spoke with a gentle laugh. Stephen sighed softly before carefully taking the case and looking it over.

               “What is this,” he asked.

               “Oh, those are my mom’s famous baked goods; there are a couple of different ones in there. The cookies are the best. Please, don’t be afraid to come over and talk to my mom, she gets lonely without any friends,” you said with a smile. The two adults simply smiled and thanked you for the apology, explaining that they just had been spooked and wanted to make sure their son wasn’t about to become friends with someone who was an actual drug user. You explained to them the only drug you used was life, and you got mega high off of it. That and your anti-anxiety medication.

               After accepting your gift, everyone turned around and backed themselves onto the sidewalk, the sound of an occasional car going back caused you to shiver at the extra cold wind you didn’t need feeling.

               “Right, so my name is Stan. You know, the one you made make out with the horse mask,” Stan mused with a smile. You gave a few chuckles, apologizing to him now for having that happen before he waved his hand dismissively, explaining how it would be a first meeting he wouldn’t forget.

               “Green hat is Kyle, the tub of lard over there is Cartman, and the orange parka is Kenny. He’s a lady killer, not literally though. He likes to girl hop.”

               “I’m not fucking fat!”

               “Please tell me you aren’t going to do the freshman fifteen,” you muttered while pointing at Kenny. His only response was a smirk and you could only roll your eyes. He suddenly moved in close, grabbing your hands and starring you down with a coy smile on his face.

               “You wouldn’t want to be my first victim, would you,” he muffled. You laughed, easily slipping from his hands and pointing at him.

               “Good joke, but I’m a junior. Soon to be senior my guy,” you hummed. Butters seemed to smile a bit.

               “Well, then that means you’ll be in our graduating class! Oh, I hope that means we can be friends,” Butters spoke. You looked at him confused, suddenly feeling a weird spike of nervousness shoot through your system. You hummed, looking down at the floor and looking at the cracks and holes in the cement beneath your feet. You gave a little kick to some snow before glancing up at all five boys before you before smiling nervously.

               “D-Does this not make us friends..? I’m sorry, I’ve been friends with the same people for so many years,” you blabbered. Oh god, word vomit. You hated it when you began to word vomit. Quickly trying to shut yourself up, you chewed on the zipper on your jacket, grinding it painfully in your mouth to keep yourself from talking again. Stan looked a little surprised before chuckling, suddenly play-punching your shoulder.

               “Of course dude! Oh, that is, if you don’t mind me calling you dude.”

               “Not at all, as long as none of you mind me calling you weird things that relate to the internet and the memes it produces,” you shrugged your shoulders.

               “No, I don’t think we’ll mind at all.”

               “Great, now show me around this dump. Or maybe even new people.”

               Okay, so maybe getting to know people wasn’t going to be such a pain in the ass after all.

[cilldaracailin]

A Kind of Magic

Hey everyone. I am back with the squeal to Under Pressure. This story is also on AO3 and can be found here:https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097855/chapters/58006354

Hope you all enjoy it :)

1

“Never stop just because you feel defeated. The journey to the other side is attainable only after great suffering.”

“Can I get you anything to drink sir?”

“Just some water would be great, thank you.”

Taron carefully took the small plastic cup from the air hostess and thanked her again as he put it gently down on his tray table, slotting his elbows back into the small space he had as he sat in the middle seat of row twenty-seven on the flight, taking a painful breathe in as sudden turbulence jolted him in his tiny seat.

Inhaling through his nose and then out of his mouth, he moved his body so it was slightly more comfortable in the hard seat, resting his head on the back of his chair. It was a breathing technique he had learnt less than a week ago and he had put it to use many times since he had stepped on the airplane and the reason why he was on the airplane was because of the person who had taught him that breathing technique he was using.

Robyn.

That letter she left for him in the hospital has caused an emotion Taron hadn’t expected to experience and that was loss. After another long sleep helped with medication, he woke only to remember once again that he didn’t get to talk to Robyn before she left and with all the time he had to sit and think in the hospital bed, the more Taron realised that he was not only hurt by the conversation that never happen but at a loss by her sudden departure. He recalled a chat they had had in the store about Robyn needing to take a flight home but with the nightmare they had been through, he really didn’t expect her to go so suddenly. In a day or two perhaps but not a few hours after they had been rescued from the 7/11. He knew she had her own injuries too and having experienced her level-headedness many times throughout their time together in the store, when she made the decision to take her flight, Taron really didn’t believe Robyn was thinking clearly.

His time in the hospital hadn’t been as relaxing as the doctor told him it would be. The decrease in his pain medication on the Sunday night, really brought to light how sore he was and although the pain didn’t compare to anything he felt while sitting in the 7/11, his body ached, stiff muscles and joints feeling the twinge once he was brought to his feet. After his full day of sleeping straight through on Saturday, thanks to the medication he was given, Taron then found it impossible to switch his mind off and spent his time dozing rather than deeply sleeping and any time he did manage to comfortably sleep, he was woken up by doctors on their rounds and nurses checking his IV line. Doctor Hart had come back to see him on Sunday afternoon and did another complete examination of him, and was so pleased with his assessment that he took Taron off the monitor that screened his vitals as well as the oxygen. He left him with his IV as Taron was still finding it difficult to eat anything more than a few bites, though he was pleased to see that this patient was drinking fluids. With some initial help from Ruth, Taron had also managed to be get up and walk a little by Sunday evening, and although his movements were slow, he felt less restricted and by Tuesday could smoothly walk around and had walked as comfortably as he could with his injuries down to the hospital coffee shop with Richard.

Richard, who had to fly back to Chicago on Tuesday afternoon to finish filming, had come to visit him on the Sunday morning as he had promised the day before, bringing with him some clothes so Taron could get out of the hospital gown and change into more comfy sweatpants and a t-shirt and stayed with Taron to be his moral support as he made two important phone calls, one more so than the other.

First was his mam and he wasn’t afraid to admit that as soon as he heard her voice, he broke down and cried, his mam being the one to comfort him instead of the other way around, as it was his plan to reassure her because he knew she would have been worried sick at hearing he was in the hospital.

“Taron, love it’s ok.” Soothed Tina as she heard her son break down in a sob, that cut her to the core, even more so when she couldn’t be there to hug him. “Richard and Robyn have both spoken to me and I know everything love. I know what has happened and that you will be ok.”

It took a few minutes before Taron could actually get any words out and speak to his mam and once he started talking he couldn’t stop, needing to get everything that happened off his chest, his mam listening to every word and interrupting when needed to comfort her son. “It was so frightening mam. I have never felt a pain like it before and there was just blood everywhere.”

“I can only imagine Taron.”

“It was just so easy for that man to shoot off a gun and not think twice.”

“There are some idiots out there but you can’t focus on what happened in the 7/11. You need to look at the positives and the first one I can think of, is that you are here, alive and talking to me.”

“Mam I don’t even remember most of what happened to be honest. There are moments that are completely blank for me.”

“And that is why I am so relieved Robyn was there Taron. I can’t even bare to think about what would have happened to you if she wasn’t there.” It was Richard who had explained to Taron’s mam about how he was given CPR in the store, as per Robyn’s instructions in the letter she had left him, making sure Tina knew how quickly he was revived, more importantly how Taron was going to make a full recovery with no complications and it was information that had really shaken her, knowing she had nearly lost her son. Tina understood so much better now why Robyn had left out so many details of what had happened in the 7/11 when she had called her, the young woman knowing it was only when Tina spoke to her son for herself that she would believe he was ok.

Tina heard her son go quiet very quickly once she mentioned Robyn. “Taron? Taron what’s wrong.”

“Robyn’s gone mam.” He answered quietly.

“Wait, what do you mean gone? I was only speaking to her yesterday.”

“She has gone home. Back to Ireland.”

It was hard for Taron to explain why Robyn left because he didn’t know the answer and it was a surprise that was echoed in his mam’s reaction too. “I don’t understand Taron. She just went home?” Once Richard had spoken to Tina and actually explained what had happened in the 7/11, Tina was desperate to speak to the young woman who had saved her son’s life, particularly when the way she explained what she did for Taron as ‘simple first aid’ was nowhere near the truth. “I really wanted to, well no, I needed to speak to her again.”

“You and me both mam. She just left me a letter explaining that she was sorry and she had to go home.”

“Oh, Taron love.”

The conversation with his mam lasted nearly an hour and then another half hour while he spoke to his sisters, all of them finding it hard to say goodbye to each other, Taron needing another emotional pep talk from his family as tears quickly came to his eyes again as they said goodbye.

His second phone call was to Matthew, his director, who appeared in his hospital room on the Monday morning during visiting hours.

“Jesus Taron.” Was his first reaction when he walked into the room, seeing Taron on his feet as he walked back from the bathroom, wheeling his IV with him as he moved.

“Good to see you too Matthew.” Taron cringed as he sat on the bed. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Well I heard my lead actor had an accident. You look like absolute shit.”

“You didn’t need to fly out here.”

“Yes, I did. You are my friend first and foremost and I wanted to come and see you. Make sure you are ok.”

“I am going to be ok. I can actually walk by myself today and it hurts less to move”

“I’ve heard your look of lying on the floor of the 7/11 was worse than this.” Matthew sat on the chair beside the bed.

“I’ll live.” Replied Taron as he eased himself back onto the pillows behind his back.

“I have also heard rumours that you nearly didn’t.” Taron looked to his director from under his eye lashes. “So, it is true. Isn’t that something you think you should tell me.”

“Who were you talking too? My mam?”

“No Richard. I called him when you were quite sparse with the details of what had actually happened in the store. Why didn’t you bloody tell me you were given CPR Taron.”

“It’s not something I really like to talk about. It’s not good to dwell on the fact that you died for a minute.”

“Ahh shit Taron.” Taron couldn’t meet his eye. “What happened?”

“The doctor told me that the combination of all the injuries I had sustained and sitting in the store for over nine hours with no pain relief just caused my body to shut down.”

“Jesus Taron.” Matthew had no idea Taron had been through such horrific trauma. “The paramedics gave you CPR?”

He took his head. “There was a girl, well a woman… Robyn and she gave me CPR. Got me back breathing in under a minute.” Matthew sat back in his chair, running a hand over his face. “I am going to be ok. All my tests and results came back clear and the doctor is really happy with my recovery so far, quicker than he expected too. I have been up and walking around the ward and they plan on taking my IV out tomorrow. I was told I will be sore and tender for a few weeks and need to take it really easy.”

“CPR Taron, Jesus Christ. How did she not break your ribs?”

Taron shrugged his shoulders, regretting the simple movement as his left hand went to his right arm to soothe the twinge he felt from the wound there. “Doctor Hart was left puzzled too but it doesn’t mean she didn’t go hard.” Taron pulled up his grey t-shirt letting Matthew see the palm shaped bruises on the middle of his chest. “She went hard.” Repeated Taron as he pulled his t-shirt back down. It wasn’t until Taron took a shower that morning, one that was badly needed, that he saw the bruises on his chest from Robyn’s hands, bruises that hit home to him, just how important Robyn’s actions were. If Taron’s chest was sensitive and uncomfortable, he could only imagine the state of Robyn’s hands.

“She saved your life.” Taron nodded, his hand resting on his chest. “Well where is this woman. I would very much like to meet her.”

Taron lay back in the bed really not wanting to have this conversation again but with a calming breathe, he began to relay the story of ‘Robyn’.

Matthew left Taron with a hug and assurance that the filming of the movie had been suspended until Taron was back to full health and it was the way it was going to be, no matter how much Taron protested over it.

“Excuse me can I just get past you please? I need to stretch my legs.”

Taron was pulled from his memories and looked to the man sitting to his left. The downside to sitting in the middle of the row at the window, was having to move every time the passenger next to him needed to leave the seat and this was the third time since they had left the airport in South Carolina that the passenger to his right had wanted to get out of their seat. Gritting his teeth, Taron lifted his plastic cup of water, drank it down in one and then clicked his table back in and gingerly getting to his feet as his ribs protested at the quick movement, slid out of the row and into the aisle, allowing the customer to exit the row.

“Thank you.”

Taron gave him a nod and turned to the other passenger in the row. “I think I will have a stretch too.” He said using it as an excuse at not having to sit back down and then having to get back up again. He didn’t think he would able to hold in the groan if he had to get up and down twice in the space of five minutes and with his body already objecting to sitting so straight and so still for the last two hours, he thought maybe a walk would loosen his tight muscles.

Pulling his hat further down on his head he started to take slow steps down the skinny aisle. It was an overnight flight and the majority of the passengers on the flight were asleep, taking advantage of the low lighting and hum of the plane. Taron hadn’t properly slept in the last five days and couldn’t help but feel jealous of those who easily slumbered in their seat. It was actually his third flight and thankfully his last one before he landed in Dublin and the late-night flight would have him in Ireland at eight fifty am on Thursday morning.

However, it hadn’t been so easy as hopping on a plane. He had to fight his case with Doctor Hart to be discharged from the hospital four days earlier than planned.

“No Taron. Absolutely not.”

“Please just listen to me.”

“No Taron.”

“You told me that if I listen to the nurses and walk around you would discharge me.”

“Yes, at the end of the week, not today Tuesday. End of the week, Friday, probably even Saturday.”

Taron followed the doctor out of the door his room and to the nurse’s station. “I am not asking to be discharged today.” He said as the doctor stopped at the desk where Ruth was sitting. “I am asking to be discharged tomorrow.”

“For goodness sake Taron, are you trying to end up back in the hospital? You have only just come off the IV line.”

“I promise I will rest and take it easy but I need to go. I need to leave the hospital and I can’t do that until you discharge me.”

“And I am not going to do that Taron. I am sorry but even with your quick recovery, I won’t risk it.”

“Then write on the fucking papers that I understand the risks and let me go!” Shouted Taron, running his hands frustratedly through his hair, wincing as he brushed the dressing on his forehead.

“Taron…” Ruth stood up. “Hey, take it easy.”

Letting a sigh leave his lips, Taron looked to the Doctor. “I am sorry.” He said. “I am really sorry but I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t sit in that bloody room with my thoughts. I need to leave.”

“Taron, it’s four more days.” Replied the doctor. “I really want to be sure that you are not carrying any secondary injuries.”

“You told me I was clear on Sunday. You said you were amazed at how I had gotten to my feet so quickly, at how I adapted to the change in my pain relief.”

“And I am.”

“Then please let me go.” Begged Taron.

“Why are you so desperate to leave the hospital?”

“Robyn.” Answered Taron simply.

“Robyn? Sorry Taron you are going to have to explain that a bit better to me.”

He pulled the letter from the pocket of his sweatpants and pulled down the neck of his t-shirt. “These are the only two things I have from Robyn. A letter and some bruises. I cannot explain it, I don’t know how to explain it but all I know is that I feel empty, hurt and at a loss that this is all I have from the person who saved my life with no way to contact her.”

“You also have your life.” Chipped in Ruth. “You said you only have two things, but you have three. The letter, the bruises and your life.”

Doctor Hart looked impatiently to Ruth who shrugged her shoulders at him. “I don’t understand what any of this has to do with me discharging you early.”

“Ooh are we having a staff meeting?” Doctor Keane walked up. She was completing her rounds, when she heard raised voices at the nurse’s station and recognising one of those voices as Doctor Hart, went to see what was going on. She was surprised to see his patient standing beside him, looking frustrated and upset, even more surprised to see Taron on his feet as the last time she saw him, he was almost writhing in pain. “Hey Taron, it is good to see you on your feet. You look really well. Really well actually. What’s going on? Are you trying to raid the nurse’s chocolates?”

“He is asking to be discharged.” Scoffed Doctor Hart.

“What? Taron?”

“Robyn left.” Taron turned to the new doctor. “I mean the woman who…”

“… Gave you CPR. Yeah, I know her. I stitched her up.”

Taron had to double take. “You stitched her up.”

“Well yeah. I popped two stitches in her shoulder and examined her when you all came in from the 7/11.” Phoebe watched as the Taron’s eyes widened in surprise. “But you wouldn’t know any of this because she left and went home. Did you even get to see her before she left?” She watched as Taron shook his head, causing her to move forward and place a hand on his shoulder. “She took her flight home, didn’t she?” Taron nodded again, feeling that sadness he had been trying to keep at bay creeping into him. “Please tell me you are not going after her.” She was met with watery tired green eyes. “Taron…”

“Don’t.” He said talking two steps backwards so her hand fell from his shoulder. “Don’t ‘Taron’ me. I am not ashamed to say that I was shit scared in that 7/11 and there was one person there keeping me calm and together and that was Robyn. She never panicked. She never showed an ounce of fear and she didn’t think twice to helping when I was caught under that shelving unit. She held my hand for near five hours straight and she only let go to find a way, that I have learnt since, that risked her life so she could save mine and then she undertook something that I can’t even begin to comprehend because it causes my chest to tighten up and my stomach to turn and I haven’t been able to talk through my daunting emotions because the one person I needed desperately to talk to left. I am not going to go and do something stupid. I am not going back to work. I am going to go and find her; I need to find her.” The two doctors and the nurse watched as Taron took two breathes and closed his eyes as he tried to settle his emotions. “I cannot wait until Saturday.” He said his hands rubbing his eyes as he wiped unfallen tears away.

Doctor Keane looked to Ruth. “You got a spare chair back there Ruth.” The nurse nodded and the doctor walked around the desk of the nurse’s station and wheeled the chair around behind Taron. “Will you sit for me?” She asked him and held onto the chair as he carefully lowered himself into the soft leather, his head going straight into his hands, a wince filling his features with the movement. Phoebe could see the young man in front of her starting to crumble and she was nervous about him standing, much more comfortable when he was sitting down.

“Taron, look at me.” Doctor Keane knelt in front of him, placing two hands on his knees, feeling his legs shaking under her touch.

“Phoebe…” Started Doctor Hart but he stopped when he saw the look on Phoebe’s face. It was one he was used to seeing from his colleague when she was displeased.

“Taron, sweetheart, look at me.” Beautiful green eyes which were laden with grief and pain unwillingly looked at her. “Why do you need leave the hospital today? Why can’t you wait until Saturday? You know you were seriously hurt and although you are up and walking about and might feel a lot better than you did three days ago, your body is still healing and when we ask you to stay in the hospital, it is for a reason.”

“You looked after Robyn?” Asked Taron looking at the doctor and when she nodded, he continued. “Did she speak to you about what had happened?”

“To be honest, not really. I kind of had to drag it out of her. She was battling with a lot of emotions.”

“So after speaking with her, you can understand how I am feeing right now but the one person who properly understands what I am going through, the one person I needed to talk to and see when I woke up was gone and all that was left was a letter. I know you are all trained professionals and you have all taken such great care of me and helped me and I am so thankful to you all but please realise it is Robyn I am indebted too. It is Robyn’s solid presence I crave so I can get these building emotions under control because I feel like I am going to burst and as much as I need Robyn, it seems like she needs too. Richard and I have had the chance to talk about what has happened, but who has Robyn spoken too? I know we are strangers but I learnt one thing about Robyn as we were pushed together in such a horrific situation and that is, she is very stubborn.”

“Well that is something we can agree on. Robyn is a very determined young woman.”

Taron looked to the doctor. “I was breaking through those walls. She let me help her and I can’t explain how she helped me. I can’t form the words to describe what she did for me and if I am feeling so shaken and almost traumatised by what happened to us, imagine what Robyn is feeling. I need to talk to her. I need to see her. I just can’t wait until Saturday.” Taron placed his head into his hands again, trying to stop himself from breaking down in a flood of tears.

Doctor Keane turned to look at Doctor Hart and giving Taron’s knee a squeeze stood up and looked to Ruth who moved from her place at the nurse’s station to stand beside Taron as his body started to shake with effort he had just made to fight his case. It had taken a lot of energy which he didn’t have.

“No Phoebe. Don’t even start defending him. He is my patient.”

“And Robyn was mine.”

“She was nowhere as badly hurt as Taron was.”

“I don’t think that is something you can prove Steve. Just because Taron’s injuries are more visual than Robyn’s.”

“He was shot with a bullet.”

“And she gave him the CPR that saved his life and we both know it is the person who performs the CPR that is affected more and before the CPR came into play, wasn’t it Robyn who cleaned Taron up and stopped him from panicking. It would have been a very different outcome if she wasn’t there.”

“I understand all that Phoebe and I have met Robyn and saw that she was very vital to Taron’s condition when he arrived at the hospital. I saw her talk to him kindly before I brought him to the CT scan and believe me I know how she saved his life, I examined him but I just don’t feel comfortable letting him leave the hospital only four days after he was admitted, a day after coming off an IV line.”

“Steve, he’s not going to go and do anything reckless. He just wants to go and see the girl who saved his life. Don’t you agree with him when he says Robyn is the only one who understands what he has been through?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then shouldn’t we give them both the opportunity to heal their mental health too?”

“She chose to leave.”

“It wasn’t as easy as that for Robyn. Believe me. Her emotions were very raw too, just like Taron’s and while at the time she saw Taron as her responsibly, once he was in the hospital being cared for, she had her own responsibilities to think about and being a very sensible adult, she made a decision that was extremely hard for her. I have no doubt in my mind that Robyn wouldn’t have left if she didn’t have too.” Phoebe took Steve’s elbow and led him down the corridor a little. “They need to talk this through with each other. If he arrives at her door, do you honestly think she is going to turn him away?”

“He needs rest, not a reunion.”

“I am sure you have gathered by now that Taron is not from here and is working here, work that I am sure has been postponed until he is fully fit. He is not going to stay in America to rest, he will want to go home so he is going to have to take a flight where he will more than likely go to his apartment or house and be by himself…”

“… Or to his family.”

“Who have no idea what he is going through and I would like to point out that you have not argued with me on the ‘flight’ part of that sentence.” Doctor Keane continued before Doctor Hart could protest. “Surely he would be better off going to see the person he has been connected with in the most unusual way possible. There is no one else who Taron can talk to about this and I know for a fact, seeing as how I was the doctor who looked after Robyn that she desperately needs someone to talk to as well and that person should be Taron.”

“He wants to leave tomorrow Phoebe.”

“And?”

“And he has sustained some serious injuries.”

“And?”

“Phoebe!”

“For a man who has been shot, technically died and been through so much stress and anxiety in the last four days, he is still pretty resilient and you and I both know he will not give up that easily and as I speak, he proves my point. Here he comes.”

Taron couldn’t hear the conversation that was going on once the two doctors had moved away from him so even though Ruth tried to stop him, he got up from the chair and walked over to them.

“Look I am sorry for causing a fuss over this. I really don’t mean too. I just… I can’t… I don’t…” Taron stopped and took a shaky breath as he tried to think of what to say, taking another as words failed him. “The hurt, more than the physical hurt, is indescribable and intense and the only person who is going to help me get through this is Robyn and I truly believe that I can help her too. I promise I am not going to do anything that is more than getting a flight, seeing Robyn and sleeping a lot.”

Taron didn’t know if it was the private chat from the second doctor or his pleading but Doctor Hart agreed to discharge him the next day, with strict instructions that he was to rest, take the medication he was to be prescribed and if he felt faint, dizzy or short of breathe he had to go to the local doctor at once.

“Can I ask a favour though?” Chanced Taron talking more to the doctor who had looked after Robyn, feeling it was because of her that Doctor Hart had agreed to sign his discharge papers early. “I don’t know where she lives. I don’t even know her surname. Is there any way you can give me her address from the medical forms she had to fill in please? Or even a surname and I can try and find her myself.”

“That’s some serious breach of doctor and patient confidentially Taron.” Smiled Doctor Keane but without a second thought, walked to the nurse’s station and pulled out Robyn’s file. “Robyn Quinn, Poplar Road, Kilcreen, Co Kildare, Ireland.” She enjoyed the genuine smile that lit up his handsome features as she read out Robyn’s address to him and the unexpected hug he walked around the nurse’s station to give her too.

“You must promise me that you will look after yourself and Robyn too.” She said as she gently hugged him back.

Taron thought he was going to have a tougher battle on his hands when he called his mam to tell her that he wasn’t actually going home to Wales but rather to Ireland but Tina, who desperately wanted to see her son and hug him tight, supported his decision completely.

“Do not apologise to me Taron. Of course, you know I would rather you came home but I also understand this is something you have to do. You need to mentally heal after what you have been through and as much I would love to be that person to help you do that, I know it can’t be and I agree with you, Robyn needs this as much as you do.”

It was his mam who helped him to book the flights over the phone there and then but unfortunately as it was coming to the end of the summer season and most flights were fully booked, the only way to get to Ireland was by taking three flights. One from Tampa to Orlando, Orlando to South Carolina and then South Carolina to Dublin. It was a trip that would take about twenty hours with layovers included but it was his quickest option to get to Robyn so he took it without question.

Richard had already dropped his duffle bag off to him when they had said goodbye to each other Tuesday afternoon, Richards own work commitments meaning he had to leave his friend and Taron was so thankful for Richard when he opened the bag to see brand new t-shirts and jeans in his duffle as well as a peaked hat, some hoodies and a packet of turtles. Taron had only packed shorts and light t-shirts for the weather in Florida. He had already confessed to Richard that he was planning to go and find Robyn when they had a coffee yesterday morning and instead of telling his friend he was stupid, Richard told him he would bring his bag to him, filling it with new clothes, giving him a very supportive hug before he left.

Taron passed by the air hostesses as he walked down the aisle, giving them a smile as he kept going towards the front of the plane, the walking helping a little to relax tired muscles. With the flight being booked so last minute, Taron could only take whatever seat was available to him. He wasn’t bothered by travelling first class or anything like that but really would have liked to have gotten a window seat for the longer flight to Dublin but unfortunately was stuck in the middle for each flight and it was hard having no space either side of him to stretch or move a little and sitting in the middle meant there was not a chance of getting some sleep. He was thinking about using his table as a pillow but figured he would end up regretting staying in that position for too long, so he sat with his hat pulled down low, his eyes closed. He had already taken his pain killer before he got on the plane and it was helping to take the edge of the more severe pain he felt but as he walked up the aisle, each step caused a ripple of discomfort through his side and head.

Taron turned and started to walk back down toward the back of the plane and his seat. Right now, he may have been on the plane on his way to Ireland, but once he got there, he was at a loss of what to do next. It was a rush of booking flights, getting prescriptions filled and completing final examinations so Doctor Hart was absolutely sure he was happy to discharge Taron and he had left the hospital just before six that morning to get to the airport so once he got off the plane in Dublin, he actually didn’t have a plan for what to do next.

He had Robyn’s name and address and that was it and would figure out the rest when he landed. He reached his seat and apologised as the passenger at the end who had to get up to let him back into his seat which he carefully shuffled into, easing himself down. He clicked his seatbelt back in and leaned his head against the chair, closing his eyes and ignored the butterflies in his stomach.

[mainly-kpop]

Butterfly Boutique

Thank you to @itssunniesworld for all the help on this you champion 💖💖

She nursed a coffee in one hand her phone in the other, flicking through her apps casually trying to pass some time. She hid under a shelter of a small convenience store trying her best to avoid backlash from the heavy rain beating down on the concrete in front of her sneakers. Looking up she realised it wasn’t going to stop anytime soon so she finished off her coffee and headed into the store puffing out a huff of annoyance. An Umbrella, that’s all she needed to get her from here to home, why did things like this always happen when she got to leave work early.

‘Um, hey, do you guys sell umbrellas?’ she asked walking to the front desk without even looking around. The young man behind the counter wore a look of pity, and she already knew her fate.

‘We don’t miss, no, I’m sorry but I can give you this?’ She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, was this kid for real? A newspaper? Jesus H Christ. 

‘A paper? Are you serious?’ The young man let out a small laugh that made her raise her eyebrow further, if it was even possible at this point, this kid had some balls she would give him that. 

‘You misunderstand. The little boutique across the street sells umbrellas, this is to help you across the street.’ She put down her cup letting the boy bin it, thanking him quickly and running across the road. She ran through the door letting it swing behind her making a loud bang upon entry, wow idiot way to make an entrance, she thought to herself. A few customers turned around to look at her in disgust as a boy came running up to her side closing the door tightly behind her. 

‘My goodness! Look at you! You’re soaked through. Here let me take your jacket, I’ll get it dry you just have a look around, I’ll be here if you need anything!’ And with that the boy practically skipped away with her jacket and the soaked news paper. She tried to tell him it was fine, that she only came in for one thing but he was gone before she even took a breath,sighing defeated she decided she better take him up on the offer.

Jimin judged the poor girl as she walked around the store. He watched the things she picked up and put back things she checked the price on and things she just straight up screwed her nose up at. She reminded him of his boss. Somewhat grumpy looking but probably a really pure heart buried in there somewhere, horrible fashion sense, that was the biggest resemblance to him. Something Jimin would have to help them both with if he even got time, he was a busy man he would tell you. 

Looking around she wondered why she had never noticed this little store before, it was small, that was a given. Rails all up the walls but still within arms reach, mannequins with beautiful dresses or a cute top and jeans decorating them, accessories littered over one end and last but not least a few dump bins with random deals, socks and bras thrown in. Looking around leisurely she stopped dead in front of a dress, about knee length red lace with a puffy skirt, it was beautiful. She dragged her hand gently across it loving the way it felt under her finger tips, sighing she picked the dress up and headed to find an umbrella, that’s what she came in for that’s what she would leave with, even if she did end up making another purchase or two... She looked around and sighed defeated, instead searching for the young man who stole her jacket. 

‘Excuse me, the boy in the store across the street said you sell umbrellas but I can’t find them’ She looked up at the boy to see the same bright smile as before beaming down at her. God this boy had some good customer service. 

‘Ah, Yes, we did. We sold the last one to the woman who left as you came in! I’m so sorry!’ She sighed resting her elbows on the desk placing her head in her hands, she only lived two minutes away, she could just run, it wouldn’t be that bad she could dry off as soon as she got in avoid whatever sickness this would inevitably give her. 

‘Okay, not its fine, I’ll just get this.’ She sighed. ‘Could I at least have my jacket back?’ She smirked at him, his eyes widened before he ran to the back coming back with it placing it on the counter for her to take. She put it on grabbing the bag with the dress in it and turning around to leave. 

‘Wait!’ The young boy shouted she turned around looking at him, He was right behind her as she turned, she had to step back slightly to avoid touching him, would have been ever so slightly inappropriate.

‘Take this with you.’ He spoke gently handing her an umbrella, he leaned in to her ear whispering, ‘It’s my bosses but he’s been a bit of a dick to me today so we can let him soak for a night, plus we wouldn’t want that pretty new dress to be ruined now would we.’ He said husky voice brushing her ear, lips grazing as he spoke a shiver shot down her spine as she looked up at the boy and smiled at him. He was attractive for sure, maybe a little young. 

‘Thank you, uh...’ 

‘Jimin.’ He answered easily. 

‘Thank you Jimin, I’ll get this back to you before he realises he brought one today, I promise you.’ With that she stepped out the door happily making her way home. 

‘Jimin, Do you know where I put my umbrella? I’m sure I brought one today...’ His boss asked as they were closing up shop. Jimin shrugged nonchalantly really just wanting to go home. 

‘I don’t know, maybe you left it somewhere when you went out to lunch?’ His boss shrugged maybe he was right, he was rather famous for forgetting to pick things up. He nodded shuffling Jimin out the door locking it behind him and running to the bus stop. Boy was he going to regret this one.  

The next day, she figured she should drop the umbrella off early, and maybe buying a couple of things she saw that she liked. She walked into the store, hoping that Jimin would just pop out of nowhere like he did last time but he is no where to be seen. Another man sat behind the desk legs crossed over the other, book in his hand reading away, steaming coffee sitting beside him. She took in the aroma that filled the small section of the store as she walked towards him. 

‘Excuse me, do you know where Jimin is?’ She hesitated slightly with his name, not really remembering if it was right. The man looked up to her catching her eye as he did, he was beautiful. Dyed white hair falling in front of his eyes, the large round glasses stopping the hair from getting in his eyes, plump lips red from him probably pushing his teeth into them while reading. She was sure it was a habit everyone had, not just her. 

‘He’s not in for another 20 minutes, Can I take a message for him?’ The man spoke in a raspy voice, God he was so fucking attractive, maybe she would keep coming here. 

‘Oh, right, um, no message to take, just if you could give this back to him and tell him I say thank you, and that I hope he didn’t get into too much trouble.’ He looked down at the umbrella in her hand and frowned, hold on that was his umbrella... He started to piece it together. 

‘That little shit...’ He whispered under his breath. She looked up at him with the most confused frown he had ever seen painted across anyone’s face. Her face shouldn’t have such a frown, only the most beautiful of smiles. 

‘Oh, right sorry.’ He spoke standing up from the chair holding his hand out for her to shake, she placed her hand in his ever so gently ‘I’m Yoongi, Jimin’s boss.’ She face palmed slightly, realising if Jimin wasn’t in trouble before he was now. 

‘Oh man. I’m sorry, please don’t yell at him for it, I must have looked pretty pathetic yesterday, he was just trying to-’ 

‘I’m not going to yell at him, it brought you back didn’t it? That’s good enough for me.’ Her cheeks flushed at his statement, he didn’t seem embarrassed just smiled, maybe he was talking about a business view point? That must have been it, he had just met her. 

‘Right, it did I guess, well thank you for the lend of the umbrella, Yoongi.’ She let the name fall out of her lips effortlessly, like she could say it for the rest of her life without question. ‘I’m going to have a look around, thanks again.’ She smiled genuinely at him and wandered off to where she had seen that cute pair of trousers yesterday. 

Jimin walks through the door casually just before his shift was due to start placing his bag and jacket in the locker room and putting his little badge on his t-shirt. The best thing about working in a little store like this meant that Jimin didn’t need to wear a uniform, as long as he had his badge on the manager didn’t really care. 

‘Jimin, can I speak with you for a minute?’ His heart thumped out of his chest, what did he do wrong this time? His boss was always a calm and quiet man, he was usually happy with the work Jimin did but on slight occasion there was an issue and he used his manager voice. It froze Jimin from the inside out he hated it. 

‘What’s up boss?’ He tried to keep it lighthearted. The thing about Jimin’s personality was, it was extremely hard to stay mad at him, if you ever were. He was always so fluffy and adorable and just funny. If you were trying to be mad, he would always make you smile, and this is what Yoongi struggled with the most, his bubbly and adorable personality. 

‘I see you gave someone my umbrella yesterday, want to tell me why?’ That was it? That’s why he was using is big man voice? Jimin had an easy excuse on the tip of his tongue. 

‘She’s cute is she not? I thought you might like her.’ He spoke cockily, he saw Yoongis cheeks tint and he knew he was free to go.

They both walked out to the shop floor ready to put away the delivery of new clothes when she stepped up to the desk placing down a hand full of random clothing items. 

‘Oh, nice to see you again...uh?’ 

‘Y/N, nice to see you too Jimin, I hope I didn’t get you into trouble today.’ She spoke softly so Yoongi couldn’t hear. 

‘Oh him? No, he’s a big old pussy cat!’ He laughed happily picking up some of her items looking at her with a raised eyebrow. 

‘Really? These? This is your style? Is this an outfit to you?’ She gasped dramatically already sensing a friendship with this young happy man. 

‘Are you insulting my taste?’She questioned as Jimin nodded as if she just stated the obvious. 

‘Well I will have you know little man, I wont be wearing these two items together thank you very much.’ She rolled her eyes as he put the items in a bag for her. 

‘Listen, let me help you out, give you a good old fashioned wardrobe make over, you don’t have to buy just let me show you what a real outfit looks like, yes?’ She considers it for a moment before sighing and nodding, What does she have to lose right? 

‘Great! Meet me here tomorrow at 2pm, he goes away home, and we aren’t usually all that busy after lunch.’ She agreed and picked up her bag telling him she would see him tomorrow. As she approached the door she made eye contact again with Yoongi blushing as he smirked at her, maybe she would come a bit earlier to see him leave? 

‘Bye Jimin, See you tomorrow!’ Yoongi shouted the next day from the back room waving his employee off before being left alone for the next 3 hours, he should really hire extra hands for days like this. Jimin left the shop sharp making sure not to run into her on his way out, god would that be awkward. 

‘Hello?’ A small voice called out from the desk. Yoongi poked his head around the corner to see her standing in front of him, he smiled warmly at the familiar face, maybe he would be okay for the next few hours if she was here.

‘Hello love, What brings you back today?’ He questioned calmly, Surely it couldn’t be Jimin again. 

‘Oh, well I think I might have been set up.’ She spoke eyes looking down slightly embarrassed. His eyes shot up to hers in concern, was she supposed to meet someone here? Did she have a date? 

‘Stood up? By who?’ She heard hurt in his voice, maybe she was imagining it. 

‘Oh, no its nothing, just Jimin said you finished at two and he was going to give me some stupid wardrobe advice when you left, maybe I got the time wrong or something.’ Instantly assuming it was her fault she shrugged sighing at the older man. She turned to walk away, she would catch him tomorrow, she was basically here every day at this point anyway. He didn’t want her to leave so soon, what the hell was he supposed to do without her here? Work? As if!

'Uh wait, maybe I could help? I mean i’m not as fashion forward as Jimin as you could probably see, but I order everything that comes in here so I must have some taste right?' She considered it for a moment, looking him up and down. He wasn’t dressed badly, he had on a pair of ripped black skinny jeans and a flannel shirt, he looked pretty good in her opinion. She nodded, a couple hours alone with him wouldn't be too bad. She took her jacket off and throwing it over the nearest chair. He smiled a cute little gummy smile as he ran over to the door flipped the open sign to close and locked the door behind him. Her heart flipped at the thought of them being completely alone, uninterrupted for the next few hours.

'Okay follow me!' He grabbed her hand pulling her along she followed closely behind him watching him intently.

He would pull things off rails to hold them up to her, frown slightly and then either put it back or throw it over his arm. She smiled at his quizzical face, eyebrows knitted together, small pout on his lips and eyes squeezed slightly. He looked even more adorable than normal and she could feel herself melting inside.

'okay I think these will do just now go try some stuff on.' She took the things out of his arms and headed to the dressing rooms. The first top she selected she really liked it was long sleeved with colourful patterns but it really did not go with the skirt she had on. She laughed at how she looked, yoongis head shot up at her giggle like laughter.

'what is it? That bad?' She heard the uncertainty in his voice she didn't want him to feel like he had done a bad job so she stepped out of the changing room to let him laugh along. When he saw the mash up of clothing he let out a small snort.

'That top looks really good though!' She looked down at the top agreeing and putting it on the to buy section, god she was about to spend a fortune for this man. They continued on for another hour or so her trying things on and matching it with the most random clothing, she would never get sick of his laugh and he would never get sick of watching her smile. The last top on the hook was a crop top it was pretty and it looked like it was going to cover enough. She put it on looking in the mirror, it did not cover enough. Shit she thought, not even close.

'Um Yoongi, I'm not sure about this one...' she spoke looking at the small ink on her hip bone, the skirt she was wearing couldn't be pulled up any further without showing off her whole ass, she had no choice she would have to let him see it.

'I will judge come out scaredy cat' He spoke with a tint of humour decorating his words. She took a deep breath in letting it out and opening the curtain. His face fell into a neutral expression tongue poking out his mouth to lick his lips instantly after seeing the item he had picked out, it was the one he was most excited to see her wear. He eyed her body enjoying the sight in front of him, his eyes skimmed over her stopping dead on a small green tattoo on her hip.

'wow wow wow what is this?' he questioned getting up from his seat walking towards her. His thumb traced the small tattoo gently eventually adding some pressure giving her goosebumps.

'I was hoping you weren't going to ask, it's just a clover it's nothing.' He looked up at her blushing cheeks knowing it wasn't some random tattoo there was a reason behind this and he had to know.

'It's not though is it? There's a reason you have it and there's a reason you have it there.' Her eyes widened, god he was fast, and he was close, really really close.

'I uh, no I can't I'm sorry its so embarrassing.' She turned around going back into the changing room closing the curtain behind her. The second she closed it, he threw it straight back open almost making her jump into the corner.

'I want to know, I'm now more interested than before.' He said voice raspy and deep he stepped closer to her the sexual tension was thick enough to cut between them at this point.

'it was a joke, the clover means if you get this far you're lucky' She replied throwing her head down avoiding every inch of eye contact she could. He smirked at the small explanation, stepping closer he grabs onto her hips pushing their bodies together. She threw her hands out resting on his chest to steady herself.

'will I get that lucky?' her eyes widened looking up at him, did he really just say that? He saw the shock on her face and smirked at her, he began slowly leaning in towards her, she didn’t stop him so he pressed his lips onto hers gently and she kissed back instantly. She wanted this god did she want this, the kiss started to get heated quickly. He ran his hands up her waist under the small shirt lifting it right over her head throwing it quickly onto the floor connecting their lips again quickly and sloppily. Her skirt was pulled up around her waist as he lifted her off the floor, her legs wrapped instinctively around his waist as she supported her weight on his shoulders with her hands. She moaned into the kiss as she felt his boner through his trousers. She started pulling at his hair, moving her hands down his chest unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing throwing it over his shoulders connecting her mouth with his neck, he let out a groan dragging his short nails down her back. A knock at the door interrupted the moment as her legs fell from his waist and he flew away from her buttoning his shirt back up, he grabbed his dick pulling it in the waistband so whoever was at the door couldn't see his boner.

'can I help you?' she heard him speak from the door. She sorted herself out picking up the items she wanted to buy walking to the main part of the store.

'well are you open or not?!' She rolled her eyes at the customer at the door honestly the sign said closed as if that wasn't obvious enough. 

'no, no I'm not.' He closed the door in the woman's face and she snickered behind him. He turned around looking at her, slightly disappointed at being interrupted.

'are we going to pick this up at another time? Because I would really like that.' He spoke to her walking closer grabbing her hips once more.

'I would like that too, but for now I guess I'll take these.' He looked down at the clothing seeing the cropped shirt lying on the top of the pile.

'Just take them it's on me, consider it a thank you for making these last hours of my shift bearable.' she looked at him smile on her face, as sweet as it was she couldn't let him away with it.

'Fine but, I'm waiting for you to close and taking you out to dinner, my treat, consider it a thank you for today.' she replied smugly, he rolled his eyes putting her clothes in the bag locking up and following her out.

[i-am-not-a-mouse]

Run Program: Communication.exe

Connor gets paid and Hank gets drunk

Read on Ao3

Hank has made many mistakes over the course of his life.

Sure, none of them got him killed - he’s still here, isn’t he? - but mistakes they were all the same.

He worked too much, no time for friends, just because he needed a purpose.

He drank like a bottomless pit just to wake up with the realization it would never be enough to escape.

He married a woman that he didn’t love just because she carried a child that he could love, only to have it taken away after six short years, again, by a stupid mistake.

The biggest problem is, he doesn’t fucking learn. His dumb old brain seems intent on doing the same damned thing over and over again.  ‘Let’s get attached!’ it says, and then it’s surprised when a necessary lifeline it’s constructed breaks away. Whether through death or purposeful abandonment, it doesn’t matter: He has the unfortunate tendency to build his existence upon things, fragile things, things that can leave and whither and die.

And Connor? Connor can’t die. But you know what he can do?

Leave.

“Thank you.” the bastard had said when they had handed him his first paycheck - on a reader, mostly symbolic. He had thanked them for basic human rights and Hank would have throttled him right then and there if he hadn’t been so unbearably sad all of a sudden.

It’s unfair of him. It also doesn’t make any sense - He wants Connor to be happy, to figure out who he is, to have a life apart from… apart from Hank. But then why does it hurt so much when there’s the actual opportunity for Connor to be free? To get a flat somewhere nice, buy actual food, have actual friends? Why does it scare him?

‘It’s a human thing’, is what he tries to tell himself, ‘feelings don’t have to make sense’

But is it? Or is it just Hank being stupid, like always?

In the end it always comes back to this:

Hank Anderson is a failure and he knows it. Swallows the certainty of the thought with every drop of scorching liquid down his throat, every night.

He can still taste the scotch on his lips this morning and he knows he reeks of it as well. The precinct is empty this early in the morning and the few colleagues that are actually in yet stopped frowning at him in distaste years ago, but now they just… don’t look.

He isn’t sure what he prefers.

There’s the file for a new case on his desk, nothing much, just theft with a side of property damage, but hey. What did he expect?

“Lieutenant?”

Oh. Yeah. Should’ve expected that.

Hank turns around in his chair and nearly hits his forehead on Connor’s plastic nose. The Android has the audacity to not even look spooked.

“Jeez, Connor, give a guy some space”, he grumbles when the initial surprise has worn off, but the slight tease doesn’t relax Connor’s expression by a fraction.

“Are you unwell, Hank?” he pries, face still uncomfortably close - undoubtedly checking for clues on Hank’s health “You arrived approximately five hours before your usual time. And your alcohol levels are unusually high this morning.”

Ah.

“Well, forgive me for wanting to celebrate your new riches!” Hank exclaims with false cheer. Connor picks up on it, of course he does.

Damn the interrogation function to hell.

“Hank, you didn’t return home yesterday. Surely, if you wanted to celebrate my accomplishments, you would’ve done so with me, not alone.”

“Who says I was alone?”

Connor only raises a perfect eyebrow. Fucker.

“Oh come on. You can’t have missed me that much.”, Hank tries to joke, but it just comes out desperate. A strange expression flickers over Connor’s face and his LED flashes yellow, as if the idea of missing Hank is new to him, an unfamiliar line of code.

Finally, the android heaves a very human sigh and sits down on the corner of the desk, putting some space between them.

“Sumo didn’t appreciate your absence.” he says and ah fuck, there comes the guilt. Hank winces.

“Sorry”, he tries, “I didn’t mean to - I… ugh, I’ll bring him some treats later.” A mistake, again. Because Connor just crosses his arms and frowns, looking at him as if he’s trying to read the code running through his mind. Only there is no code because Hank is human and stupid as all hell.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Look, Connor, I-” Hank tries, but it just trails off into nothing. He doesn’t even know what he was going to say. That he regrets being a bother? That it’s not fair to rely on Connor for the care-taking of his own fucking dog? That somehow, at some point, that perfect, goofy Android became a necessity to him?

After a minute of uncomfortable silence, he seems to take pity on him, for some reason.

“Hank… where were you all of last night? I was -”, the Android interrupts himself to brush the ever-curling strand of hair from his forehead and clear his throat “- I must admit, I was looking forward to celebrating my ‘new riches’ as you put it.”

Oh god. Did Connor just sit in the house all night, waiting to be allowed to celebrate? Hank opts for putting a hand on Connor’s knee and patting it gently.

“Oh, Connor. You don’t need me or my permission to have a party, you know that right? You could’ve gotten Markus to come over!”

His words are another mistake, apparently - Connor looks at him as if he’d suddenly started singing ‘pink fluffy unicorns’.

“I am fully aware that I don’t need your permission for anything anymore. Perhaps I didn’t phrase myself accurately: I was looking forward to have dinner with you. That’s how you celebrate, isn’t it?”

Oh damn. This android is gonna be the death of him.

Hank chuckles, but it sounds empty, even to him.

“Yeah, that’s how I celebrate but you can celebrate however you like! You don’t have to-”

Connor looks like he’s very done with him in that moment. Very, very done.

“Hank, stop making this so difficult. I am aware of what I am free to do, I simply chose to - I wanted to have dinner with you and you- you just- “

Stammering. Huh.

In the end, he sighs, massaging the skin around his LED with a grimace. Then suddenly, as if he came to a surprising conclusion, his eyes twitch and he straightens up, arms in parade rest.

“I apologize for taking up your time, Lieutenant”, he says, emotionless, expressionless, polite, “I understand my presence is hard to endure sometimes, I shall leave you to your work.”

And with that, he is gone.

What the hell?

Hours are longer when you’re waiting for something. For someone.

It feels like eons until Hank can leave without arousing suspicion, another millennium passes until he’s at his car on- wait. His car.

Why is his car still here?

He frowns, fiddling with the keys inside his pocket. Connor always takes his car, he says he likes driving himself, makes him feel… what did he say? Nostalgic. So did he walk home? Or, and the thought drops like lead into his chest, did he even go home?

‘Maybe he’s already left you’, his brain supplies, ‘You were a right dick to him.’

He's sure it's true, it must be true, but ... what the hell did he do to make him look so sad?

He pulls the car door open and it complies with a creak.

A sense of dread fills his mind when he bends to squeeze himself behind the steering wheel and sees the cup of coffee on the dashboard.

Connor .

When he takes a quick sip, he realizes it’s hazelnut and goddamn , what did he do to deserve this? He makes Connor feel sad and the bastard gets him his favorite coffee in return.

He’s nearly dreading what he’s going to find at home, and when he pulls up to his house, only stopping once on the way for some dog treats, he knows his gut was right.

The lawn is freshly mown, the little pathway neatly swept, it looks like there’s fresh flowers in the pots right next to the front door and nothing makes sense anymore.

Hank can’t believe this is even the same house - it looks like someone - Connor - spent the last eight solid hours cleaning every last fraction of this place. At least that answers that question. His key turns in a perfectly polished door that leads into a perfectly polished living room and what even isn’t perfectly polished in here?!

There’s a Chicken Feed box on the dinner table, a cold beer - non-alcoholic - accompanying it, Jazz chiming joyfully on his record player.

But Connor is nowhere to be seen.

He looks in the bathroom first, even though it would be incredibly unreasonable for Connor to be there. For some reason, imagining him in his bedroom of all places makes him feel … strange.

But of course, that’s where he is.

When Hank gently pushes the door open, Connor is standing with his back to him, rummaging through his clothes, sorting out wrinkles and folding socks .

For a few seconds, Hank just watches, transfixed. Then he whispers, trying not to frighten the Android: “Hey.”

Connor positively jumps and within the blink of an eye, he’s placed everything he was doing carefully within the closet and closed its door with quick hands.

When he turns around, there’s a tight smile on his tense face and his eyes are wide - scared .

“Hello, Lieutenant. W-welcome home.”, the Android stammers and stammering is so out of character for him that, for the first time in a while, Hank feels incredibly sober .

Jesus Christ what did he do?

“Hey. Connor, are you-” he takes a step towards him, but Connor flinches and Hank stops in his tracks.

“I apologize, Lieutenant.”, he forces out, “I will remove myself immediately, I didn’t manage to sort your wardrobe in time. Forgive me.” Hank can just stand there.

What. The hell. Is happening.

Connor seems to take his silence as disapproval, though, and - damn, is he shivering?

“Connor, what… I… Christ, you don’t have to clean my house! Why would you even think that?” But oh god, that was clearly another mistake because Connor twitches again and then fucking whimpers. Okay, okay, okay. You’re a cop, Hank, get it together.

“Are you - what’s going on with you? You-” he tries, softening his voice to what he would usually use on scared victims of assault, feeling like the biggest idiot in the universe, but Connor interrupts him - and his voice sounds like cut glass when he whispers:

“Please, Lieutenant, please just let me be useful.”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“Okay, Connor, I feel like we should just calm down here for a second and-”

But his hands are trembling.

“Please, please, please, please, please, I just need to be useful, that’s what I am, I’m useful, I can do things, please don’t make me go, please, Lieutenant, please-”

There is a point where enough is enough.

Hank takes three, four, five decisive steps towards Connor and pulls him against his chest, in a tight and (hopefully) reassuring embrace. The Android keeps babbling, pleading, begging against his chest for a few seconds, but then there’s just breathing.

Breathing and the quiet sounds of Connor’s little hiccups.

“There we go, Connor. It’s alright.”

To the rumble of his words, Connor’s arms come up around him and finally, they’re actually hugging. He’s missed this.

“Now come on and explain to me what the hell has got you so upset. What did I do?”

“N-nothing, Lieutenant.”

Aaand...that just won’t do. With a gentle shove, he gets Connor to back away a tiny bit, making sure he doesn’t take it as disapproval.

“How about we sit down somewhere and… talk.” God knows how much he hates talking. But what he hates much more? Mistakes. So they’re gonna talk, godammit, and if it kills him. Connor doesn’t seem to be on board, though, his back still rigid and looking every bit like the machine he decided not to be. The only tell are his fingers, pale and blue from the pressure of his knuckles, clutching desperately at Hank’s sleeves.

“Lieutenant, I-”

“Connor, it’s been Hank for months now. Please.”

Connor swallows, eyes darting through the room and that’s when Hank sees it: His LED is flashing red.

“H-hank, I am… very confused. Why do you - Why are you expressing… affection?”

Well.

“Clearly, I haven’t been doing the best job at that. Why wouldn’t I … ‘express affection’ … to you? I know I’m an asshole, but I l- I do like you, Connor.”

The Android’s face twitches and the LED changes to yellow. Processing.

But then it switches back to red. Does not compute, apparently.

“N-no, that’s…” Connor stammers “That doesn’t make any sense, there's conflicting information, I-”

“What the hell are you on about? When have I given you the impression that I don’t like you? I always want you around! All the time, in fact I- oh. Oh.” Hank’s frown dissolves into resigned regret. He closes his eyes.

Of course.

Of course it was his own stupid fucking fault. That’s just how it goes, isn’t it?

Connor’s eyes are molten chocolate in his pale face, so incredibly human yet somehow not, and how could Hank forget that? How could he forget that the Android is new to this business, so very, very new? How was he supposed to know?

God. If he could get his hands free from Connor’s grip, he’d slap himself.

“Connor. Did you think I didn’t want to see you yesterday? Or today?”

His gaze drops to the unusually clean floor with the quick flutter of perfect lashes.

“I couldn’t help but notice your sudden… disapproval of my presence once I was allowed to have my own money.”, the words are shaky, but somehow empty of real emotion all the same, “I apologize for taking up your space and time during the last few months, I understand I am to find my own living quarters as fast as possible.”

Hank’s heart skips a few beats only to start beating twice as fast in alarm. Judging by Connor’s sudden frown, he has noticed. How is he supposed to answer that? It all hurts .

He settles on “For fucks sake” as a start, because he’s still Hank and talking about emotions is positively exhausting. “You aren’t to do anything that you don’t want, okay? If you want to move out, then move out. If you don’t… then don’t.”

The Android shakes his head so fast that his perfectly placed hair gets in disarray.

“No, that’s not how it works, you don’t want me here but I swear I can be useful! I can prove to you how useful I am!”

Please don’t make me go.

Finally, Hanks dumb old brain gets with the program.

“Wait, you think you have to - what, prove yourself to be allowed to stay here? I-”

“It’s not about permission!”, Connor interrupts firmly, loudly, desperately, “It’s - I just - I just want you to … to want me here. But I can't make you like me if I'm not useful and then-”

“Of course I want you here, Idiot! You think I just drink myself into oblivion for fun?”, they’re running in circles and he really just ought to say it, just say it you stupid asshole, just say it, here goes nothing, “... I thought you were going to leave, okay?”

It’s quiet as Connor blinks. Tilts his head. Blinks again. Frowns.

“… what?”

Hank sighs and sends a quick prayer in his head, to a god he doesn’t believe in. Then he steps closer, just a tad, and frees a hand from Connor’s death grip to splay his fingers on the Android’s jaw. His thumb strokes soft patterns into the artificial skin until it relaxes slightly.

One step at a time.

“Connor, I…”, goddamn those eyes , “I want you to be free, okay? You have every right to be, to make your own decisions. There’s so much out there that isn’t… this.”, he inclines his head to mean this house, this life, “So much that you haven’t seen and you're an ambitious guy... I thought you’d want to move on as quickly as possible. And that… that made me sad, alright? I didn’t want to come home and find out you were already gone. Taken off with your first paycheck.”

Connor’s jaw is slack in his gentle grip, mouth slightly open, surprise evident in every part of his face.

“I…”, he whispers, “I bought us dinner.”

Um. What?

“… What?”

Connor huffs a quiet breath and loosens the grip on Hank’s arm. His touch is soft like a feather now, just a caress.

“I bought us dinner, yesterday.”, he says and it sounds like a revelation, “That’s what I did with my first paycheck, Hank. I just… bought us dinner.”

The guilt cuts deep, a red hot blade, right through the heart. And if that doesn’t hurt like a bitch .

His mind conjures up a vivid picture of Connor, sitting at the kitchen table with steaming hot burgers for the both of them, wanting to make use of his newest upgrade for close-to-human consumption, that little crooked smile slowly dropping with the hours of his waiting.

And Hank never even came home.

God, he’s such an asshole.

“Shit, Connor, I - I’m so sorry. I should have just… come home. I would’ve loved a burger yesterday.” And the Android was trying to treat him, shit. Since Connor moved in, burger is not on his everyday food list anymore, so to have him pick some up himself, on purpose, for him… let’s just say it’s nice.

To Hank’s relief, a tiny little smile curls the corners of Connor’s mouth. He looks weirdly content now, like a puppy that’s been pet. And slowly, round and round, his LED turns a calm blue.

“Your burger is still here, if you want it. I heated it up for you.” he admits sheepishly, his hand coming up to cup Hank’s bigger one against his face. His fingers are warm, human, and it takes every single piece of Hank’s resolve to not just pull him closer and - actually .

“… what about you, Connor?”

The little smile turns into a smirk.

“I’m still here, too.”

And what is he supposed to do about that besides kiss the bastard?

Nothing, that’s what.

It’s not even awkward and that should really tell him something. It just feels right. This isn’t… it’s not like he hasn’t thought about this, is what he’s saying and Connor’s lips on his own feel natural, it makes sense, like they’re supposed to be here, the both of them, Connor and Hank in this room in this house, two idiots with zero communication skills, finally getting over themselves and their stupid assumptions.

And it's so clearly not a mistake.

After a minute or so, Hank needs to breathe and puts a sliver of distance between them, only to open his eyes and immediately drown in the dark chocolate brown of Connor’s irises.

“Will you…”, Hank tries, clears his throat, and blushes when he can practically see Connor measure his stuttering heartbeat with a grin, “… Will you stay?”

The Android’s smile widens and he brushes a strand of hair out of Hank’s face to look him in the eyes. A subtle blue blush has spread on his cheekbones and across his nose. It’s quite possibly the cutest thing Hank has ever seen.

“Of course I will stay, Hank. As long as you want me.”

Aw hell.

“You’re gonna make an old man cry, Connor, Christ.”

But Connor just fucking giggles and pulls him by the hand out of his (their?) bedroom into the kitchen.

“Why do you emphasize your age so much, Lieutenant?”, he asks when he turns on the oven and gestures for Hank to help him heat the burgers, “I feel as if you carry it in shame, when you should be proud to have survived all that you have.”

“Oh come on, as if you aren’t the first to make fun of my age.”

Connor’s laughter chimes in sync with the blue flashes of his LED, Sumo barks his hello, and suddenly the world is warmer.

He never wanted Connor to become a necessity.

He wanted him to be a decision, a choice.

And in a way, he is.

Hank is going to choose him over and over again, every time.

And Connor will choose him right back.

Hope you liked it ♥

[sixbillionstars]

Before Game of Thrones and the newest Star Wars films, flights to Iceland only left from Denver, Washington DC, Baltimore, or New York. When I learned that the voyage embarks from Port of Hamburg, I figured I’d be flying into Berlin. And after years of watching closely for new United States destinations between the two main Icelandic airlines, this made my heart sing knowing full well St. Louis had recently become a Wow Air destination with cheap flights to many European cities, and of course... stopovers in Iceland on the way.

I won’t go much into how long I had anticipated this experience, however I will say it was a painful wait. First it was celebrities one by one slowly making their way as it grew appealing to more and more travelers suddenly during my freshman year of college and onward. Then it was friends who happened to have stopovers, who could afford it before me, or who were nearer to new departure cities before me... In those ways it was thrilling to feel inches and inches closer all these years. I even had a whole trip planned once to visit Iceland by myself to celebrate the New Year and hang out a week before and after. For a plethora of important reasons I had to cancel that trip, which to this day I still stand behind. So sadly, the most suitable and affordable window of time I had to work with to be in Iceland this time around was twenty hours, since it was a stopover, but a solid twenty hours we spent. An old friend used to joke all the time, “what if you go and absolutely hate it?” which was a possibility I have weighed heavily, even after countless hours over the years reading entire wikipedia pages of tiny, unpronounceable coastal villages with their black sands and fjords, delving into Vimeo videos of Icelandic scenery, and my favorite, the man in a lopapeysa sweater teaching you how to knit. I knew damn well I’d have to come back after such a short time even if it did turn out not so ideal. But after a seven year wait, I am happy to announce that it truly was everything I could have hoped for and even so much more. Maybe because I already knew where to look, or at least where I wanted to look, or maybe it really was calling me all this time.

I was taught a German expression today "Knapp daneben ist auch vorbei” which means, “coming close is the same as missing it.” It’s been circling my mind like an echo of congratulations from the void for just finally being able to do the damn thing.

It is now late into Thursday, our second day in Berlin. Yesterday was spent locating our Airbnb, experiencing jetlag, showering, etc... completely pretty much rebirthing ourselves after twenty hours with none of the checked luggage I truly thought the Keflavik airport would let me access during that amount of time.

I can’t exit this post though without telling a couple of the stories from those hours (and some pictures!) It was by far the most eventful twenty hours of my life...

As soon as we landed, it was time to grab the rental car. I picked out a lovely whatever the car was. At first the reservation said manual shift, which was exciting because I learned to drive on a manual but also I knew the Icelandic roads would be more vulnerable to drivers so I wasn’t sure how revisiting a skill like that there would go. Luckily we ended up with an automatic somehow anyway. Since the Wow air flights are so cheap, they get off by charging passengers for every other thing including meals, so I had not eaten since Missouri by this point (mainly because I wanted to sleep). I felt weak and tired at the rental counter so I asked my friend Alicia to get me something at the cafe nearby. She came back with the first food we were to behold: a caprese panini, but instead of panini bread, it was the body of Christ or something. I apologize to anyone that offends--I mean it in the sense that it was cracker bread meant specifically for religious purposes and not to feed a malnourished traveler. Don’t get me wrong, it tasted good, however the depth of my ketosis and the richness of the pesto was too much. Literally as I stood at the counter facing my first ever Icelandic stranger and transaction, I felt the sudden urge to vomit and ran to the nearest trashcan while Alicia had to sign everything for me in a VERY crowded airport. I don’t think any of us knew how to react honestly, though the woman at the counter was very sweet and brought us bottled waters after seeing my pale sweaty face, despite not totally knowing how to ask if I was okay in English.

Getting to Þingvellir was not an issue, however the drive there involved more of the previous situation sadly. While the girls caught up on sleep, I found our way out of Keflavik onto the highway and quickly back off of it after having tried a couple more bites of the Jesus panini. The first time around I wasn’t entirely sure if it was that was what made me ill or just all of the conditions at once. This time I knew it was that. There was nowhere to even pull over as all of the road space in Iceland is very carefully planned, with roundabouts every few blocks and signs placed not too often or too scarcely. So I stopped in the middle of the road out of sheer desperation -- one of the few very crucial things I had JUST been told you’re not supposed to do with an Icelandic car. I had already begun out the window as I drove simply because my mind was already racing for options. What is the best way here - puking on myself and cleaning that up? No - my luggage I thought I could have today is on its way to Germany. Puking solely into the car? Hell to the no - I don’t care if I bought the insurance, we have the whole route ahead of us and back. Okay well in the time it took to ask myself those questions, all of the above happened anyway. Everywhere. Alicia and Morgan immediately woke up of course and without judgment scrambled into their things for a new shirt and pants for me, helped me clean the car, et cetera, alllllll while locals were angrily and confusedly passing me on this tiny exit I had chosen under the impression it was low-trafficked. Did I mention I chose not to wear underwear on this day of all days? Yes. In my first hour in Iceland I was forced to change BUTT NAKED pretty much on the side of the highway. Needless to say, we threw the Jesus panini away as if it was the one ring to rule them all.

Þingvellir was breathtaking. Every little plant, moss, lichen, dewdrop was so quietly and calmly welcoming. The wall of boxy-looking rocks you may have seen in Games of Thrones was to the left of this photo, with its waterfalls and all. It was confusing finding the dive spot where our snorkel tour was, but once we arrived all of our sorrows were gone. First we met Luis, a cheery Mexican from Cancun, then Manuel the French man who helped us into our dry suits, and then Juan from Madrid was our guide through the crevice of the opening between the Eurasian and North American tectonic plates.

The moment I entered the water my heartbeat changed for good, not just because of the chilling 2*C temperature, but because it was then I realized I was really, really there. Until that moment, it was all a dream. Simply putting my mask down to see what was below... I still cannot find the words. Our suits were designed to keep us warm, so the crystal clear stream swept us and this rad Australian couple in our group gently along the divide as if it were a lazy river. Silfra is the only spot on Earth where one can touch two plates at once, and I cannot emphasize enough that the land itself gives you that vibe alone, whether you do the tours or not. For as long as I live I don’t think I could forget how it felt to lay completely still on top of the water looking down, like just another little seagull feather or algae, feeling one with the whole damn country.

Finally.

After a pit stop at a petrol station for edible food and something to make the car smell better, we rerouted from planning a drive all the way to Vik (3.5 hrs there and back) to just spending the time comfortably in Reykjavik where we could get back to the airport by 3am, when the rental was due, and for our flight at 6am.

Downtown was as quaint and beautiful as I had imagined, though of course a completely different layout than what I originally pictured. This happened in New Mexico too when I moved there after a year of picturing the places where my friends’ stories from their phone calls were playing out. We found a cute bar to meet locals in called the Smokin’ Puffin, which turned out to have just opened three weeks prior. Made many friends, including Moe the bartender/plant geneticist from Iran, and Joanne, a bubbly expat from the UK.

Hallgrimskirkja and the walk to it however was the crowning jewel of the evening, with apartment windows all open, most of them displaying cute decorations and cats and succulents of all colors and sizes peering out.

I knew it was a rather large church, I suppose I was not prepared for just how large. Walking past the infamous Leifur Eriksson statue to approach the entrance with its tiered architecture and powerfully rhetorical lighting, I lost my breath again. It was a bittersweet goodbye, though I am nearly grateful we did not stay overnight so I couldn’t get too attached to Iceland’s physical presence.

Was honestly just taking a photo of this sweet cat, and realized its owner was behind him drawing. I almost cried.

Moe’s specialty cocktail: coffee martini :)

Me in my very attractive after-puke outfit with this handsome Iranian plant geneticist bartender who was really sweet to me anyway.

<3