#aardvarks will have to wait

[tagerrkix]

Eden was their ✨disney princess era✨

[bogleech]

What are your favourite dragon quest monsters across the entire series?

The first Dragon Quest Monsters game I've ever gotten to play wound up being the first one to leave out exactly the top three I looked forward to getting:

GIANTSLUG/MAULUSC: I'm pickier about slug and snail creatures than you maybe expect but I love the vapid drippy zombie face of the DQ slug. It perfectly captures the appeal of a slug as a monster, a mindless gooey thing that will just eat you without a care. And its classic color scheme is that of a Banana Slug!!

BELZEBUB: I am also picky about fly creatures; usually I want them to have the proboscis present in some way, and the correct number of wings (two). There's something I still love about the toothy mouth of Belzebub however, maybe the way it curls up between the eyes? It just does a good job capturing the feel of a fly's personality I guess.

DARKEYE/EYELASHER: eye creatures can also very easily feel a bit boring to me because I've just seen so, so many of them, but DQ's basic killer eyeball appeals to me a lot with its irregular fungus-like collection of tentacles. The little root branches on "top" are especially cool to me, and sometimes they're the bottom, because they represent where the eyeball attaches to either floors or ceilings! In a few games, they're even encountered as parasites inside bigger monsters!

I used to admire the guidebook to the first two DQ Monsters games as a kid but never had the games themselves, and never got around to any other DQ titles. I just spent my whole life waiting for just the right one where I'd finally get to assemble my three favorites, then finally this new one comes out and has to be the first time these three took a vacation :( But, Dark Prince was at least nice enough to include exactly my next three favorites in the franchise. I went over them already in my DQM Dark Prince post but some people will see this post first so I will have to reintroduce them:

DROHL: droopy flappy membranous mollusk guys, honestly horrible looking in a great way. In 3d games it turns out their helmetlike head spirals in the back like a snail shell! Apparently they're meant to be troll-like beings.

LUNATICK: just a blue fleshy sac thing with gooey antennae, a bunch of tentacles (most of them segmented like worms!) and a little eyeball, perfect, no criticisms, also reminds me of what Berserk considers an "Incubus:"

(Don't worry, Berserk Incubus aren't sex monsters but monsters that give you nightmares and feed on the fear)

TAILEATER/MAD MOLLUSK: I love how pathetic their front face looks, and the whole shape is so pleasantly reminiscent of an abyssal sea cucumber of some kind.

SKULLROO/GUAARDVARK: I didn't even realize this was one of my top favorites until getting it in Dark Prince. It's an unpleasant wrinkly fat aardvark kangaroo thing that just always carries a human skull around. Its profile says they collect them and the one they carry is their favorite! A lot of slightly lower favorites were also left out however, none of these are in Dark Prince but are very high up there to me:

PYURO: what is this thing? I don't know! Different games have categorized it as an insect or a plant. It's a furball with five eyes encircling a butterfly proboscis, two little legs and a big huge ring of flower petals behind it. Very xenobiology.

TONGUELLA: it's kinda like a dumpy, hairless sloth with an aardvark tail with a mushed-in dog face and a giant gross tongue. I guess I just like foul moist beasts. I wish this was a real mammal we had in the world, I bet it'd smell terrible. Feels like a perfect counterpart to Guaardvark.

SLURPERON: it's one tiny pitcher plant with a giant tongue and then it has cool reptilian eyes at the bottom end. So simple and so rad! A fun way to stylize a pitcher plant monster without ripping off Victreebel.

SICKLER: is a little tiny mantis in a robe, like the Tonberry from Final Fantasy but a mantis

RAGIN' CONTAGION: a newer one, a gooey vaporous cyclops ghost that represents disease. In its first appearance as a boss in the series the English localizers decided it should talk like Yosemite Sam. Sure why not!

So I like the new game and it gave me some new favorites like Skellyfish and new appreciation for some others, but oddly it only has my very middle all-time faves

[ironychan]

Today's explorations brought us a couple of new birds. The first one was only today on a technicality, because it was a very wee hour indeed when Valdez let herself into our tent and woke me up to tell me there was a really weird animal outside and she knew I'd want to see it. Kibwana refused to get up, but Reynolds and I followed her to an old log, where we found this:

It looks something like a cross between a crane, a grey owl, and an anteater. It and its fluffier offspring were crouched by the log, tilting their heads back and forth to listen, and then they'd lick out with long tongues to catch insects. They didn't seem to need to open their beaks to do this, and I'm not actually sure they could open - I never saw them do so. If the adult needed to pull more of the log apart, it would use the four-inch blunt talon on the end of each otherwise useless wing.

Reynolds says the way the feathers fan out around each eye is actually an adaptation for hearing - it funnels sound into the ears like a radio dish. The adult bird was clearly aware of us and looked directly at us several times, but since we weren't coming any closer it didn't seem bothered as long as we didn't make any sudden movements. Eventually it got its fill of ants and wandered off.

We asked Valdez what she was doing so far from our campsite in the middle of the night. She said she wanted to get further from the fire (which we leave smoldering so the wildlife won't get too nosy) in order to look at the stars. Apparently she's been mapping them. She's even invented several constellations based on tools and animals. I guess we all have our little keep-sane projects.

She was telling me more about it around lunchtime, while the two of us were scrounging for edible plant material, when we got today's second bird. This one was a bastard.

It was very tiny, mostly black on top with an ochre-coloured underside patterned with black v's, and a white mark on the back of its neck. It was also very round with tiny feet and absolutely adorable. I couldn't believe how lucky I was when it landed on my arm and put its beak right up against my skin. I figured it was licking up sweat for salt or something. I was wrong.

After a second or two I realized a bead of blood was forming where it touched me, and when I took a closer look I saw that it actually had a very long, needle-like upper beak that had gone right into my skin without me even feeling it, and a very short lower beak that it opened to let its little tongue lap up the blood. I'm sure I took this in for just a split second, but it felt like I stared at for an hour, unable to move. The image is burned into my retinas. I keep seeing it when I close my eyes.

I hollered and shook it off me, and it flew away. Boonmee put some alcohol on the puncture and told me to watch it carefully for signs of infection. Other than that there's not a lot I can do but wait and see how many diseases the little bugger gave me.

We took several suggestions for the name of the vampire bird, but seem to have settled on Reynolds', which was White-Naped Syrinx. 'Syrinx' is a character from Greek mythology and also the root word from which we get 'syringe'. It is also apparently the word for a bird's voice box. This would be much more interesting to me if I didn't have a hole in my arm.

Somebody suggested calling the anteater bird an owlvark, but Vandebeek said 'aardvark' means 'earth pig' in Dutch, so a more accurate name would be 'aarduil'. When somebody writes a bestiary for this future, we now know what the first page will be.

[t4tails]

scrolled through the aardvark person's profile and found an inexplicably long and tasteless post detailing their ALTA Fire Nation child abuse headcanons so suffice to say they have balls to declare killing off characters problematic

?? wait so they think killing off characters is bad because it maximizes pain like child abuse but this same argument does not extend to the child abuse of characters. huh

[quotespile]

Anyway — because we are readers, we don't have to wait for some communications executive to decide what we should think about next — and how we should think about it. We can fill our heads with anything from aardvarks to zucchinis — at any time of night or day.

Kurt Vonnegut, Palm Sunday

[plushiepalz]

I missed friend friday!! But I wanted to share my new friend, i waited over a month for him in the mail, he is a Jellycat Muggly Aardvark and I have called him Artie. I love him sm 😭

AHHHHH HES SO CUTEEEEEE

i love love love plushies of like “weird” animals, like ones that u dont see plushies of as often

[frost-queen]

Black rose in a sea of red (Reader x Jerry Baynard)

Requested by: @alicethewriterandfangirl , Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @venomsvl, @the-uncoordinated-house-cat, @rosecentury,  @imagines-by-her,  @evilcr0ne, @vviolynn

Summary: TW! Selfharm! You are upset of how your friends have such amazing lives while yours is terrible. Coming from a bad home, your coping behavior is self harm. Struggling with the idea of wanting to end it all, is Jerry there to save you from doing so.

The chattering died away when Miss Stacy settled everyone down. Specifically Anne who was proclaiming her opinion as loud as she could. Almost standing on the table to declare her words. Diana was tugging at her dress to pull her to sit. – “Miss Cuthbert if you please.” – Miss Stacy said giving her a stern glare. Anne chuckled settling down. Ruby was still whispering to Tillie. With one look of Miss Stacy pressed Ruby her lips together with force. Billy snorting across the classroom at how silly she looked.

Miss Stacy cleared her throat letting his chuckle die. When finally the peace had settled clasped Miss Stacy her hands together. – “I hope you all brought your assignments that I handed out last week.” – she started. Anne who was always eager already set her basket on the table, ready to show it to Miss Stacy. Miss Stacy smiled politely ushering her to wait. – “You may all set it on the table if you please.” – she continued giving the signal.

Everyone ducked down to reach in their baskets to set their work of art on the table. You felt uneasy taking out your artwork. Glancing to the side you saw Charlie’s piece of art. Billy and Paul laughing loud. – “Is that an aardvark?” – Billy joked laughing his ass off. Charlie groaned. – “No! It’s a dog.” – he mumbled setting his hand under his chin, pushing his artwork closer to his chest. Gilbert turned around in his seat looking at Billy’s work.

“Is that a self-portrait?” – he said snarky. Billy mimicked a childish laugh, annoyed by his words. – “Well yeah yours…” – Billy got a bit up to look at Gilbert’s work. Gilbert moved aside on purpose for him to see. – “Well yours… yours…” – Billy said trying to find an insult. Gilbert was smiling beyond himself when Billy couldn’t find something bad to say about it. – “I thought so.” – he said turning back around silencing Billy.

Paul laughed loud at how Gilbert had left Billy speechless. Across back by the girls was Anne proudly showing her masterpiece to everyone. – “Did you do this stitching?” – Diana asked pointing at it. Anne shook her head. – “No, Marilla helped me.” – she then pointed at some paint work. – “This is Matthew’s work, and this weird thing was added by Jerry.” – she finished pointing at a wobbly thing at the top. Diana held her art up. – “My mother helped as well. She painted the flowers.” – she commented.

Ruby got up waving her hand in between them for attention. – “My mother helped too! She did this, this, and this.” – she said pointing at several things in different angles. – “What did you do?” – Tillie replied as it appeared Ruby’s mother did everything herself. – “I did this.” – Ruby answered annoyed pointing at her name written in the corner. Diana rolled her eyes at how silly she was.

Seeing their work you rather wanted to crush it or throw it out of the window. Compared to their, yours seemed like it was made by a child. Also hearing them speak so lovingly about how their parents helped out felt like a punch in your gut. It was something you could only dream off, having a loving mother. Your mother didn’t help in your project. You dared ask her one time. That didn’t end well.

You got yelled at for ruining her moment and annoying her with silliness. Looking at your art again of paper mâché you noticed the dent of where your father had stepped on it. On purpose or accident. It didn’t really much as it had ruined it much. Seeing your friends talk so godly about their parents made you want to cry, pull your hair out and scream your lungs out. Ruby and Tillie turned around to you.

“Let me see yours Y/n.” – Ruby spoke as Diana and Anne looked over them. You pulled it closer to your chest, shaking your head. – “It’s…it’s terrible.” – insisting on it. – “Come show us Y/n.” – Tillie said pulling at your hand. You really didn’t want to show her, finding it unworthy. Ruby helped her to pull your hand away. Tillie then snatched it from you. – “Hey!” – you called out catching the attention of some boys across and Miss Stacy who waited to see where this was going.

Tillie held it up before her looking at it with a questioning brow. – “Did your mother help out?” – Ruby asked probably not meaning anything with it. She was always this innocent and naïve, yet it struck a nerve with you. – “No!” – you called out snatching the art from Tillie back. You then it on the ground setting your foot hard on it. Everyone gasped loud at your little act. – “Y/n!” – Miss Stacy called out concerned. You let your fingers brush automatically over your inner arm, knowing of the scars lingering there.

“Brute.” – one of Billy’s friends called out. Miss Stacy shushing him immediately. Miss Stacy approached you, kneeling gently down to pick up your crushed work of art. – “We can still mend this.” – she said with a warm smile. You shook your head. – “It is broken!” – you answered. Just like yourself. Turning your face away from her, you felt ashamed.

Ashamed and unworthy. Truly wondering what the exact point of you was. Not one of them here knowing a darn thing about your family. They had no idea with their wonderous lives, living like princesses. While you crawled through the gutter with no way out. Consistently surrounded by darkness. The only way out of the sinking was the carving. The marks on your inner arms that helped you coped with it.

Miss Stacy reached up to take your hand. The second she had your hand, you pulled it away. Needing to escape you took a run for it. – “Y/n.” – Miss Stacy called out as some jumped up. Gilbert being one of them. He wanted to run after you as Miss Stacy held him back by his shoulder. – “Let us give her a moment in solitude.” – Miss Stacy said sensing you didn’t want any company at this moment. – “But…” – Gilbert started seeing Miss Stacy shake her head.

He sighed deep, slouching his shoulders. He returned to his seat. Miss Stacy set your artwork on her desk, seeing how sloppy it was once your foot had tackled it. You ran frantically into the woods away from the school. Unable to cope with it. The sugary of your friends biting like sour in your flesh. Their life was something you could never achieve. Not with the home situation you have now.

A mother and father who barely looked at you. A brother who tackled you whenever he pleased. All the workload put on you. Treated like dirt by your own family. Never once said an ‘I love you’ or ‘thank you.’ Maybe this was just how things were meant to be. Unloved. Panting loud you kept running coming into different parts of the woods.

Jerry was whistling loud, carrying a sack over his shoulder. He had come back from the market, making his way back to Green Gables. Something caught his sudden attention as he noticed it was you. – “Y/n!” – Jerry shouted happily waving your way. He frowned when you didn’t seem to see him. Simply running past. Jerry lowered his sack questionable. Why weren’t you at school? Why were you running away? Was everything alright?

Feeling a bit worried he picked up his sack again, going after you. Near a shack crashed you down; out of breath. Leaning against the wood you let your head fall back. Still panting till your breathing steadied. Then the thoughts came. Those dark thoughts that always pushed you to the edge. You already know what to do. Reaching in your pocket, you pulled out a sharp object. Then slowly pulling your sleeves up. Scars of old on your flesh.

Those dark thoughts became louder as it made you bring the tip of the sharpness to your wrist. Tears rolled down your cheek as your hand trembled. It would take one impulsive thought for you to bleed. Bleed till your life would slip away. Why shouldn’t you do it? What good was there in this life? There was no one to pull you out so it was easier to just accept it and be rid of this hell.

Gently setting the tip deeper onto your skin, your sight got blurrier from your tears. – “No!” – you suddenly heard startling you so hard, the tip had pressed deeper into your skin. A single drop of blood forming. Jerry rushed over to you, grabbing the sharp thing from your grip, and throwing it as far away from him. – “Don’t you dare!” – he breathed out.

“Don’t you even think about it!” – he said a bit firmer kneeling down in front of you. Grabbing your shoulders, he pulled you close to his chest for a hug. – “Find hope in the hopeless.” – he told you. – “I don’t know what made you do it, but please don’t. I don’t want to lose you… I don’t.” – he embraced you tighter fighting the urge to cry himself. – “Please Y/n…” – he whispered out as you started crying louder.

In the brink of almost doing it was Jerry there to pull you out. – “We’ll figure it out together. I am fighting for you, and I don’t want you to give up.” – wrapping your arms around him, you hugged back. – “Jerry…” – you cried out. Jerry simply held you, no needing an explanation. Just holding you. In that moment where he knew you needed to be seen, heard and loved.

-----------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[gaykarstaagforever]

The 1999 Mystery Men movie is now free on YouTube, I guess because Universal finally realized that if no one paid to see it when it came out and so no one remembers it, no one is going to pay $3 to rent it.

Which is a shame (for the people who made the movie, who gives a shit about Universal), because it's good. Based loosely on the Flaming Carrot / Mysterymen indie comics of the 1980s (I'm only familiar Cerberus the Aardvark, which the same company published around the same time), it is meta superhero parody in the style of Gunn's Suicide Squad / Peacemaker, just 20 years before any mainstream American audience would give a crap.

This is a universe where there is one real superhero, who is so effective that crime is basically non-existent, so that the sole superhero himself is getting bored. When he comes up with a scheme to give himself something to do, it goes badly, unleashing a notorious supervillain on Champion City. When the Mystery Men, obnoxious wannabe heroes with virtually no powers, try to help, they typically fail, but so badly this time that now they are the city's only hope. Will they put petty grievances aside and learn to work together before Cassanova Frankenstein destroys the entire city?

Well, of course they will. It's a superhero movie. The point is watching fun wacky characters bounce off each-other for 2 hours, and this certainly delivers on that. The cast is a who's-who of 1999 charisma, with notable turns by Geoffrey Rush as the scene-chewing, disco-themed Frankenstein, Wes Studi doing Batman if Batman was doing Yoda, and Tom Waits as a benevolent mad scientist with a grandma fetish. Paul Reubens doing a lisp and Kel Mitchell in blonde Sisqo hair are especially fun as a team within a team, farting and getting naked on their path to victory.

Ben Stiller is the lead, playing a typical Ben Stiller-is-the-lead character, the kind of well-intentioned but self-absorbed incompetent that is charming when Ben Stiller plays him in movies, but everyone would despise in real life. And if you are a person who also isn't a fan of him doing this in movies, you'll also not like it, here. I like Ben Stiller doing this, but Roy here really is a useless pain in the ass until the very end.

There are lots of Gunn-type sitcom jokes about superhero tropes and general goofiness, and similar tonal shifts between slapstick comedy and people being slowly melted. Fans of The Boys will enjoy Greg Kinnear as a G-rated Homelander, complete with product placement on his costume.

It is about 20 minutes too long at 2 hours, and has way too many annoying closeup 90s fight scenes with mediocre choreography. More scenes of just the cast improving should have replaced a lot of this, because this is what the movie is really about. And there is some amazing 1998 CG that is used well, but man. It looks like what it is, certainly.

Props on someone greenlighting a superhero parody movie in a world where the only things to make fun of were the Schumacher Batman movies (Blade, the first "real" Marvel movie, came out the same year as Mystery Men). But it is obvious that only hardcore comic book nerds were going to connect with this, and there were not enough of them, outside of the big mainline "event" comic speculator market of the 90s, to make up for a $68 million budget.

This was made specifically for a movie-going public that has fallen in love with good superhero movies, then gotten sick of them, and appreciates someone making fun of them in a smart way. That is a thing we barely have now, in 2024. Mystery Men the big budget movie really is a thing that was just 20+ years ahead of its time. Watching it feels like watching an episode of Peacemaker that is intentionally aping the style and production design of Batman Forever. I suppose it is worth seeing, just for that.

Also the 90s Hollywood cameos. Dane Cook shows up, unfortunately. No, he isn't funny. He is a "superhero" who burns people with a waffle iron. I realize that may sound funny, but believe me, it isn't when Dane Cook does it.

See for yourself. That scene is in the original Smashmouth video for "All Star". Because that song being from the Mystery Men soundtrack before Shrek is literally all most people know about this movie.

And that's not fair to it. Go watch it.

[maitaiwiththecorpses]

Aru Shah quotes as things my friends say

Aiden, upon hearing of the new Olivia Rodrigo album: Are you ready for the ~THIEVERY~?

Aru, to anyone taller than her: i have to VOLLEYBALL SPIKE to reach your head

Brynne: Wait, your middle name is Arthur, like the rat?

Aiden: He's an anteater- no childhood istg 🙄

Mini: ... He's an aardvark.

Nikki: I did an emo photo shoot!

Aru: another one?

Sheela: Did someone say Ryan Reynolds?

Aru: KIERA KNIGHTLEY MY GODDESS

Hira and Rudy, in synch: D O L P H I N S ✨

*on the decorating committee for the dance, ten minutes before said dance*

Aiden: Hey, sorry I'm late I needed to grab gum!

Mini: GET THE FUCKING TABLES MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!

Aru: Y'know, Marry You is about to play for the test music run, if any of y'all wanna absolutely shred it on the dance floor before Judgement arrives.

Brynne: Are you a feminist

Aiden: *tiredly throws pad at her*

Rudy, in a swivel chair: do you wanna find out what month your parents banged in to make you???

Mini: *aggressively vacuums*

Aiden: stop, I need something to do after you all leave

[firstofficerrose]

It is a time of edges

The Querulous Megapode has reached the end of it's long race. It's been a long Year, and not always a good one, but it's run it's course, and can rest now. Before it settles down to build a nest somewhere in Klatch, though, it has one thing to do.

...

The cottage is scrupulously clean; it doesn't do to welcome the new year with the debris of the old one lying around. Not everyone agrees on that point*, but it's always done for her. The cottage is clean, and quiet, and Granny Weatherwax is waiting.

...

As the sun sinks behind the mountains for the last time in the Megapode's very own Year, the Querulous Megapode picks it's way across the track to the cottage. Along the way, it meets a Moribund Aardvark, and they have the sort of discussion that only Years can have. Together, they make their way to the cottage, and before either one can rap on the door, it swings open.

Granny Weatherwax stands in the door with her pointy hat and her plumbline-straight spine. The Megapode, panting a little from the exertion of getting here, bows a bit.

"Took you long enough," she says. The Megapode fluffs it's feathers defensively. Granny Weatherwax regards it, then turns to the Aardvark. She takes a deep breath and carefully does not roll her eyes.

"Blessings," she intones, "Upon This Year. Now git."

And they do.

...

*At Tir Nani Ogg down the mountain, the party was really just getting started. Scumble and shrapnel would be all over the place tomorrow for the battalion of daughters-in-law to clean up, but for now, Nanny was doing a jig on top of the table and inventing new verses for The Hedgehog Song.

[pagesandpothos]

Black History Month Book Recs

To celebrate Black History Month, I thought I'd share a few recommendations of books I've read recently by black authors. All of the books below feature incredible black characters in a wide variety of genres.

Parable of the Sower & Parable of the Talents by Octavia E. Butler (Dystopia): One of my favorite duologies. This is a haunting post-apocalyptic series about a young girl's plans and dreams after Climate Change has caused a societal collapse. Both books are incredible and feel upsettingly prescient at times!

Faebound by Saara El-Arifi (Romantasy): A recent read that I really enjoyed. This is perfect for fans of books like Fourth Wing who wish the genre was more diverse. Not only is this written by a black author, but it also includes queer characters and romances, and the world is Arab-inspired.

When the Reckoning Comes by LaTanya McQueen (Horror): One of my favorite horror novels ever. There are some truly terrifying moments in this as it explores some of the real horrors of American history.

Chan-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah (Dystopia): an incredible and thought-provoking speculative novel. This was one of my favorite new novels of 2023. It follows several characters set in a future where a fully privatized prison system has inmates take part in televised battles to the death.

Artie and the Wolf Moon by Olivia Stephens (Graphic Novel): This is a really sweet middle-grade graphic novel about a pack of werewolves. There's some great family dynamics and a cute queer relationship too. The art is beautiful, as well.

Future Reads

I also have several books by black authors on my TBR that I can't wait to get to. Here are a few that I am most excited about:

A Love Song For Ricki Wilde by Tia Williams (Romance): This was one of my picks from Aardvark Book Club this month and I'm really excited to read it.

Kindred by Octavia E. Butler (Historical): This is one that I really want to read soon. I'd love to eventually read all of Octavia E. Butler's works.

The Reformatory by Tananarive Due (Horror): I've seen so many good reviews of this. I got it from Aardvark Book Club a few months ago and look forward to finally reading it.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn (Fantasy): I have heard such good things about this series. Book three is scheduled for release in early 2025, so I'd love to read the first two before it is released.

I'm also planning to finally read novels by both Kacen Callender and S. A. Cosby this year. I've had several of their books recommended to me and really look forward to finally diving into their books. Stars in Your Eyes by Kacen Callender is on my February TBR, so I'll be reading it very soon!

Do you have any other recs? Feel free to let me know!

[fullofgutsndopamine]

Happy Holidays (let’s hope for the best)

tw/cursing, mention of negative body image, awkward first kiss (what's written on the tin), mention of past toxic relationship, hasan is a single father

more here

“Papa.”

Rory’s voice comes back half muffled, from being in between a mountain of his discarded date shirts.

“Yes, baby?”

a smile is evident on hasan’s face, as he turns away from the mirror and tries to button the buttons on the dress shirt again. his fingers shake, but he tries to ignore it.

“if you’re worried about it being weird,” she says, “i know how to help!”

“oh?” hasan laughs, taking a glance in the mirror before groaning, hating his outfit again, will need to change-

“Yeah!” she all but pops out from underneath the pile of clothes as hasan appears at her side, “show her the rock I got you!”

hasan misses being young, when something like who has the coolest rock can start or save friendships.

he laughs, and she sits on her belly, rests her tin fists on her chin, “You still have it? Right, papa?”

he rolls his eyes, fond on his lips, “of course i do. never go anywhere without it.”

he digs around in his black jeans for a second, produces a small gray pebble from the depths of his pocket, the kind Rory imagines goes on forever, filled with hard candy and receipts, small odds and ends for her to play with-

she squeals and sits on her knees, taking the pebble out of his hand, now smooth with age and time, finds himself fiddling with it when he’s nervous (which is often)

“my girl got it for me,” he leans in close, “can’t go anywhere without it.”

and puckers, kissing her on her forehead, and she erupts into a fit of giggles, uses her hands to push the curly hair away from her eyes. hasan is always trying to braid it, or tie it in piggy tails, but much like his own, it never corporates.

he crouches, “I gotta get dressed. Go see Sammie. Tell her Papa said you can have a cookie.”

and she gasps, her eyes light up and she runs downstairs, yelling Sammie’s name the entire time.

Hasan laughs, goes to shut the door and faces himself in the mirror as he smoothes his shirt down one more time before reaching for a sweater and putting it on.

another sigh, “As usual,” he says to his reflection, “this is as good as it’s gonna get.”

and before he can have any second thoughts, he grabs his cologne off the dresser, ignores the frame next to it, sprays himself with it, and leaves.

across town, you face the same dilemma.

“i just,” you sigh to your roommate, Addie, “am afraid wearing yellow and brown is going to make me look like Arthur.”

Addie snorts without looking up from her textbook, a pencil shoved through the bun on top of her head and one in her mouth, “I know your ass isn't talking about Arthur the fucking aardvark."

You huff as you play with the collar of the white shirt that peaks out from under the sweater, "He has a kid, Addie. He definitely is going to think I look like a kid's show!"

And you huff and shove the sweater off your head.

Addie rolls her eyes, shuts her pencil inside her textbook, "Wait here, I have the outfit."

And she doesn't wait for a response as she shuffles out of the room.

there's a little yelling and something that sounds like tugging, followed by a clash, but Addie comes back with a smile on her face, tosses you a red sweater, knit and cozy looking, that you catch with ease.

"Wear this," She says, sitting back on the couch cross legged, "It won't look like you're trying too hard, but also you won't look like a prude."

You huff but obey, tugging the sweater over your head and smoothing it down, thinking it looks good enough.

You can't let Addie know she's right. part of what being best friends is like, and instead say: "I do not dress like a prude."

and your met back with her laughter as you retreat to your room to finish up.

hasan is right on time, which surprises you for some reason you can't place.

past dates, they've pulled into your small driveway, honked the horn and waited for you to retreat from your house, but hasan instead parks on the street, kills the engine, spends two minutes trying to fix his hair before leaning into the passenger seat and grabbing the small bouquet of flowers he picked up for you earlier.

as he rings the doorbell and waits, hearing moving and yelling from inside, he considers faking his own death, or a sudden stomach bug, or maybe a call from rory-

he hasn't felt butterflies like this in a long time.

Addie throws the door open, which throws him for half a second as he opens and closes his mouth, considering what to say.

usually, he's good with words, a pro even, but something about you throws everything out the window-

"Well, well, well-" Addie smirks, leans against the doorframe and crosses her arms over her chest, "You must be hasan."

"The one and only?" It's a question, not a statement, but nerves gnaw at his belly, and anything witty he could say is gone, "You must be Addie, It's nice to meet you, finally."

He offers his hand and Addie bites her lip, as if she's about to awe, or say something, instead meets his hand, a hard shake back: "The one and only." She teases back.

Finally, hasan laughs: "Yeah, okay. I deserve that one."

You all but run into the entry, red faced and trying to button your jacket, "Sorry!" You apologize, knocking shoulders with Addie: "I hope Addie didn't bother you too much."

"Nah," He laughs, "I'm an older brother, I get it."

And as if he suddenly remembers the bouquet in his hand, he offers it out: "For you. You look beautiful, by the way."

"Oh," Addie calls from the couch, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "So he is charming."

your eyes go wide as you meet hasan’s equally as wide eyes, but he finds some confidence he didn't know he had, mumbles at you: "So you think I'm charming?"

A groan, and you tug at his hand as Addie takes the flowers from you, "You two kids behave. Get them home in one piece, hasan. I mean it."

and her voice goes from the teasing to a little harder, and he nods immediately: "Yes ma'am."

"We're leaving, Addie. Bye!"

and your bright red faced, yanking wilbur out of the door as he yells over his shoulder: "It was nice meeting you!" as you shut the door.

"I'm sorry about her," You sigh, the second the door is shut and you two have a second to breathe, "She means well-"

hasan laughs, thankfully, "I told you, I get it. She's fine."

And you nod, nibble your lip like you don't fully believe him, silence fals for half a second.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says gently, then shakes his head as if he said something wrong, "I mean, you look beautiful every night, but today especially. Not that today is-"

a gentle laugh out of you, and the anxiety hasan has melts away slowly, a litlte piece of unease falls off of him at the sound-

"Thank you, hasan." You say gently, "The flowers were beautiful."

He shrugs, as if it's not a nice thought, before he shakes his head, "Come on, it's freezing. We can go in my car."

hasan all but races to his car, holds the door open for you as you slide into his little car, before he shuts the door gently and all but jogs to his side of the car.

"Okay," he says as he buckles up, "I'm not one for bragging but-"

a small laugh out of you, and he continues: "but Rory says I make the best Christmas playlist so."

and he struggles with his phone for two seconds before a I'll Be Home For Christmas plays gently through the speakers.

There's no way he'd know, but it is one of your favorites, and it's oddly comforting.

"And," He continues, "Like i said, not a big bragger-"

"I can tell." you interrupt, teasing him gently.

"Thanks," he says without missing a beat, "homemade hot chocolate. rory insists its the best."

and he produces a small thermos, hands you a little cardboard cup, takes the lid of the thermos and pours, before he speaks: "With extra marshmallows."

You laugh, "So you were listening."

and he's all but beaming, "Always. Let's go."

hasan drives the entire time, going up and down these winding roads, points out his favorites, stops for you to tell your rating of different houses of decorations, the good and the bad-

by the time his phone rings for a third time, your face hurts from smiling so big at these stories wilbur tells

"Fuck." He sighs when his phone goes off a third time in the row.

"Seems like someone really wants to get in contact with you." You tease, hoping he picks up that it's teasing.

his smile shows he does.

"Fuck," He sighs, "it's Sammie, my babysitter, or i'd ignore it-"

he trails off, as if he's waiting for you to tell him to hang up, or ignore it, instead, you shake your head, "No, of course, get it."

"Hullo?" he answers, his voice gentle and low, shy.

He brings his fingernails to his mouth, and suddenly you realize why they're so short and torn at, bloody at the tips.

His voice gets even gentler somehow, "baby, I'm sorry."

You can't hear the conversation, but you wonder if it's rory-

you're proven true almost immediately, when he speaks again: "Okay. Lay down, okay?"

he pauses for a second, as if waiting for confirmation, before his eyes dart around, and red faced, he pulls the phone away from his mouth for a second, mumbles: "I'm sorry for this."

before you can see what he says, his voice comes into the car, gently, slowly, he begins singing: "Why are there so many Songs about rainbows And what's on the other side-"

he gets through the song and you try to busy yourself, to seem like you aren't enjoying the song as well, when he says a final goodnight, and red faced, turns to you:

"I'm sorry. I-I usually put rory to sleep, and this is the first time I haven't sung to her she-" he shrugs, "I dunno."

"You don't have to apologize," You say gently, "It's sweet. Youre an amazing father."

He snorts, as if he doesn't believe it, and there's some weight to it, but he shakes his head, "Come on, I saved the best for last."

and he grabs your cup, pours you one last cup of hot chocolate from his thermos, extra marshmallows, and passes it back before putting the car into drive, and starting the short trek

It's like a scene from a hallmark movie.

the car has been abandoned, this house has a little path in it's front yard, long and winding, a carasoul of teddy bears that moves, a Grinch cut out, lights dangle and dance from every tree- it's beaitful.

you both ignore how your hands knock into each other as you walk down the small path, find yourself standing in front of the lights that go from tree top to tree top, dance in the wind and criss cross across the street, connecting the houses to one another.

"God," You find yourself close to him, face red when you realize how close you two are, "This is beautiful, hasan. You did amazing."

And he laughs, leans in to move a piece of hair off your lip that the wind moved, when his hand lingers on the side of your jaw.

His face is close to yours, "I-is it okay? If I kiss you?"

A soft smile from you, "Yeah."

and look, it's your first kiss.

you aren't proud of how long it took you to get this, but you were always waiting for the right time, the right person, and it just never seemed in your cards-

until hasan came along

but as usual, your overthinking it. eyes closed, you tilt your head, and he must do the same, because next thing you know, you're bumping noses with him, a gentle: "Oh." from him

you're laughing, too hard to do anything for a second, and he's red faced: "I'm sorry. Fuck. I usually-"

"hasan?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

He snorts, "my pleasure."

and this time, he gets it right.

[gumpistol]

❤️ + enjomo

Send ❤️ + a URL and I’ll write something nice about them/their blog!

    AZZ!! AZZ!! THE ACE TO MY LUFFY!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANT TO CHEW MY OWN ARM!! ( look it's an actual picture of us <3 )

   where do i even start??! i know i'm going to miss something uuggghhh there's too much i want to yell about! i genuinely, no joke, sat on this in my inbox for a bit to really gather what i wanted to say and write down all the things i love about azz. and now, as i stay on brand and collect all my scraps of paper with little notes on them, i have to emphasize how incredibly kind, warm, fun, and patient azz really is~ he makes me think of a really great hug, the firm ones that are tight enough to squeeze a laugh out of you! ( aka my favorite kind of hugs )

   azz is one of my OGs for luffy's blog and one of the first to interact with me! he was so quick to throw ace my way and shit it was all over from there! he was and still is always cheering me on, and i really don't know if i have the words for how much that means to me, especially from the beginning when i was just trying to figure out luffy's muse the best i could. he's always been down to entertain my ideas, whether it's here or on my multi, and he's got me feeling all warm for wanting to incorporate my muse portrayals into his ideas and lore as well. but wait! even when we aren't plotting things and verses and interactions, i find it so easy to bounce into random shenanigans with him! he's someone that i find really easy to click with :)

   on top of being a generally wonderful person, azz is incredibly talented as well — in any of his writing for all of his muses, in his story building, his drawing skills, and all of the beautiful graphics that he makes! he has put an immense amount of work and research into his portrayal of ace, and it shows 100% in his headcanons, the way he writes ace's dialogue, and the unique ways he shows ace's actions and behaviors. i know i've said this before, but i'll say it here again: with the way azz melds these headcanons and the small but significant mannerisms into writing ace, i can't help but mistake what is azz's headcanons for oda's canon all the time. i swear i have to pause sometimes and remind myself that so many things are very much unique to azz's portrayal. BUT OH WELL IT'S CANON NOW AND IT'S PART OF LUFFY'S CANON AT THIS POINT TOO!!! AHAHA!

   but outside of ace, i honestly love all of azz's muses. i could know nothing about a character he's writing, but his excitement and eagerness to write a character becomes my excitement to write stuff with that character as well! also, he loves all the cowboys and i too love all the cow folk!! YEEHAW!! 

   that being said, we live in very different time zones ( forever crying over this ) and we don't always get to synch our online time up, but when we do, the brainwaves vibe and shit i will stay up extra late if it means getting to talk to him about whatever it is we're talking about~ he is so chill and funny and forever one of my ride or dies, even if my attention gets pulled elsewhere for periods of time. i love him very many and he puts a smile on my face and i would happily fight off a flock of angry geese for him <3

@enjomo / from anonymous aardvark.

[jackalspine]

Giant otter shrew

Potamogale velox

Genus Potamogale, subfamily Potamogalinae, family Tenrecidae, suborder Tenrecomorpha

Despite their names, they are neither otters nor shrews. They are afrotherians like elephants, hyraxes, aardvarks, and manatees.

They live here:

They are nocturnal and can not survive in captivity. Most photos online of them are recently deceased or taxidermied because of this.

They don’t have webbed feet, so they swim side to side like crocodilians or fish. Their hind legs have skin flaps along the inside that let them be held close to the body while swimming

Wait can you elaborate on that last part what do the skin flaps do?? Ho w wo oh ok Neve round I think I get it is it like how the fuckin the wheels on the airplane go into the plane when they’re in the air?? Like that? Bro that’s so funny

But man that’s really cool do u have sources for the illustrated pics? I wanna look attm

[octagledestroyer]

Good Omens Episode 3

I still don’t know why y’all are interested in this, but it’s more popular than anything I’ve ever posted before (including meticulously crafted DND stories and no im not bitter about that who’s bitter I’m not bitter you’re bitter) so I guess I’ll just...keep going?

Oh, and we’re back to the Garden of Eden. What’s he doing with that rock- oh look it’s God

Ah, this is presumably Noah’s Ark. Ok, but the thing is (here I go on a literary rant)- all civilizations who have recorded history have some sort of a flood myth/story! It’s everywhere- I really do think that at some point there was a massive flood that reached...possibly everywhere, I’m not too familiar with Native American mythology, but presumably Asia and Europe. 

“As a promise not to...do it again.” “How kind” Crowley’s sass is l e g e n d a r y

wOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT OK I JUST GOT OUT OF HOLY WEEK 

that was...a lot more graphic than I was expecting. I mean, you hear the hymns, everything, I even cried on Holy Thursday and couldn’t keep singing but I’ve never seen...

“What else am I gonna be, an aardvark?” Ok but does this mean Aziraphel was hoping that Crowley could be redeemed

these boys are SO dramatic- how old are they, 12?

burbage was absoLUTELY flirting with Crowley also why does it feel like Aziraphel knows nothing about plays? I mean “I love all the...talking...” it’s called a MONOLOGUE you silly angel

Hah so this is the Arrangement I’ve heard/read so much about. Ohhh Aziraphel’s so worried about Crowley! How did it take him until the literal end of the world to figure out he liked Crowley?

Ah, Paris. I’ve been waiting for this. Dude is so OBVIOUSLY waiting for Crowley-

Oh, Crowley froze time, didn’t he? Zira’s face just lit up like a candle how is he THIS OBLIVIOUS

I mean...do I feel bad for Jean-Claude or not? How did those soldiers not recognize him?

“I like pears” oh stay on topic Zira. Also, did anyone else get flashbacks to the Doctor’s hate of pears when they were talking about this?

...even though I knew this fight was coming and could practically recite it word-for-word it still h u r t

Ah. 1941. That’s a lot of lit candles for a church with two people in it...and those do NOT look secure. Even if that church didn’t blow up it probably would’ve burned to the ground sooner rather than later.

Whoa- triple crossing

They’re making light conversation while someone points a gun at them- never change, boys. never change. 

his fACE HE- gAH THESE BOYS

Also Crowley sounds so cool and suave but I would bet all the money in my purse that he rehearsed what he was going to say beforehand- probably in front of a mirror

wait, shadwell- shadwell- oh im STUPID ITS

im not even going to finish that sentence

Zira’s so scared and my heart is breaking 

we’re halfway through the episode and NOW the title sequence starts. It still doesn’t make any sense but at this point I’m just here for the music- oh and that epic thing they do at the end where the letters unfold to say “Good Omens”

I’m still in love with Dog. He’s the best thing ever and I want to hug him. 

Ok Adam is also completely precious. His book sounds exactly like something an 11-year-old would write. 

Ooooh Shadwell and Crowley still keep in touch- and Shadwell thinks Crowley’s the son of the man he met in... what was it, 1960? It’s been less than 10 minutes and I already can’t remember

I bet Anathema’s ranting about the world is going to shape what happens in Armageddon 

Adam’s been manipulating the weather in Tadfield for years, hasn’t he. White Christmas...

Are you serious both Crowley and Zira have been sponsoring the Witchfinder’s Army? 

Chow™

b o y s  you cannot do this to my h e a r t

Adam got rid of nuclear power in his sleep and replaced it with a sherbet lemon. wow. 

Well, that’s the end of episode 3- you know, I’m really enjoying this, more than I thought I would. I know the plot, yeah, but there’s so much I didn’t know and can still be surprised by. Next post might come out tomorrow or Sunday, or it might not...I’ve got a lot of editing to do. 

[kiki-de-la-petite-flaque]

... because we are readers, we don't have to wait for some communications executive to decide what we should think about next—and how we should think about it. We can fill our heads with anything from aardvarks to zucchinis—at any time of night or day.

― Kurt Vonnegut