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flowering-thought · 11 months

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Ganon brainrot won in my heart so here we are-

Please know that this version of Ganaon is influenced by BOTW and TOTK as I never got the chance to play the older games and I'm hopefully going to purchase TOTK soon (I'm a broke bitch so I look at spoilers in envy and awe). Also note that due to the complicated timeline of the games I'm going to say that Zelda has traveled back maybe 10,000 years because as of right now there's no telling how to fit it into the timeline for sure-

Not gonna lie I wanna do more of this, maybe a part two?? Should I do a part two?? I want to do more but I didn't want to make it too long-

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

WARNING - MINORS DNI

AFAB reader and reader is described as feminine and chubby/plus sized.

Yandere themes, obsessive behavior, hints at stalking

Yandere Ganondorf x Archeologist Reader

Zelda and Link. Two people you had come to know well as you had helped Link grow used to life in Hyrule after waking from his 100 year nap.

You were an assistant who occasionally helped Purah but also looked for things to research on your own when you could.

And when Link had saved the kingdom from Calamity Ganons grasp? You had grown close to Princess Zelda, who shared many interests with you. You two got along quite well, having fun and sharing research with each other and having long conversations about the past and the link between technological advancements and a declining birthrate.

And with Link? You appreciated the times when you could just relax. You would both sit by the fire and relax or you would tell him stories to pass the time.

Before Link had managed to defeat Calamity Ganon you would empathize with the struggle of not remembering his past, of the emotions that came with the weight of the world on his shoulders. And you would help him find ways to find happiness in the small things, even talking with him and having conversations to make things seem less stressful than they were.

So with Link and Zelda by your side with ruins of the ancient past? What would you have to worry about? Zelda is knowledgeable about ruins and Link is strong enough to help either of you if something were to happen.

But things don't always turn out how you want them to be huh?

Walking up to what looked to be a corpse deprived of light and dehydrated to the point it was practically a standing mummy, a hand attached to its chest and a spiral of light emitting from the contact.

And as though it were fate, that hand detached, a stone falling with it. A part of you felt as though you weren't supposed to be here, you took a step back, behind Zelda and Link, your eyes fixated on the mummified corpse.

As if you had walked into some tale of horror, the cracks of bones could be heard from the body, it slowly moving in what could only be described as terrifying.

Just as it opened its eyes Link blocked the first attack, and you grabbed Zelda's wrist, ready to run with her if need be. And the shattering of the master sword echoed through the chamber.

"The sword that seals the darkness? Such a fragile sword cannot defend you from me." He stated, a raspy voice speaking out.

"Zelda.. And you who carries that sword are Link." He continued.

The conversation did not last, another attack carried and both you and Zelda are knocked into the abyss. And even if it would be your death, you did not let go of Zelda, knowing that you'd rather be together in death should you die from that fall.

But all you saw was a burst of light before you inevitably passed out, your consciousness fully collapsing as the world around you changed.

And then there you were, in a field in Hyrule, both you and Zelda lain among the grass for a certain King and Queen to find you.

Zelda was the first to awaken to their voices, explaining who she was to them before they explained their own title.

And just before Zelda could gasp, you awoke. You held yourself as you woke up before fully awakening and looking around frantically for Zelda.

You didn't mind the strangers as you crawled over quickly to check for wounds, "Are you okay? You didn't get hurt?" You asked.

And upon realizing where you were, and looked upon by strangers, both you and Zelda explained what had happened to the young King and Queen as they brought you to the peak

Of course what followed was being brought to the founding kingdom of Hyrule, Rauru and Sonia treated Zelda like their daughter, smiling and making sure she was well fed.

They had claimed that both you and Zelda were distant relatives despite you saying you were not a part of the Hylian royal family. But they stated it would be better to claim that for now.

And while they treated Zelda like their child, when it came to you they were gentle as though you were someone they loved. You did not have powers like them and so they made sure you had a guard with you at all times.

Often times you would be found by the pair with Mineru, both of you enjoying different topics and you found immense enjoyment from learning everything that the Zonai technology could offer.

Sometimes you would actually fall asleep in Minerus office, and you could have sworn one time to hear Sonia and Rauru conversing as your head was supported by a lap and your hair pet gently. It was such a warm and gentle feeling so you eventually drifted back to sleep only to wake up in your chambers the next day.

And then, the one and only Gerudo King known as Ganondorf made his appearance.

Far too many times had you seen the depictions of a monstrous beast called Ganon, and upon hearing the name in another form you could feel shivers roll down your spine.

You stood next to Zelda, deciding to take your mind off of the King and look to his group, finding the differences in the attire of the past and future was fun to you rather than thinking about the anxiety that came with meeting Ganondorf.

And while you gazed at his group, Ganondorf had been staring at the stones for a time, noticing Zelda had one so he assumed that you would as well. And as soon as he noticed you did not have one he should have brought his gaze back to Rauru but he couldn't.

The way those robes fit on your figure, your soft looking features and that gaze of intelligence and warmth in your eyes had him nearly move his head to look right at you. But of course he knew better than to make his interest clear right in the throne room.

He couldn't keep his eyes off you, even when he and his group of warriors were escorted to different chambers to rest he had your face in mind. And before he was escorted to the separate nicer chamber he would stay in for his standing in the Gerudo tribe was the highest, he pulled two warriors aside and told them to keep an eye on you in secret, to learn more about you.

"And what kind of information on her would you like us to gather?" One asked, prepared for whatever her king would ask of them.

"Everything." He stated, turning to follow the Hylian maid who stood quite a bit away.

And so for an entire week, while observing many schedules of those who had the secret stone, he would try to find the places you tended to wander in.

He learned of the foods you prefered, how you spent a lot of your time either in the garden or the library, snacks such as fruit you often snacked on. He also found out the size of the robes you wore, getting a messenger to send that information back to the tribe to prepare you clothing. And he also tried his best to search into your orgins, but even most servants of the palace did not know where you came from.

It was frustrating that oftentimes you were with a member of the royal family or in places he couldn't get to without arising suspicion when it came to trying to get close to you.

Until finally, you were in the garden, only a single guard standing a couple of feet away as you sat in the grass and with a sketchbook open drew the different kinds of plants in front of you.

He found it beautiful. How your fresh flowed around you in the grass and your hunched form taking in the details of nature.

A part of him thought it suited you. But another thought how much better you would look smiling at him and waving him over.

But alas he had to make the first move.

So that's what he did, he stepped into the garden and made a light cough, the guard startling and immediately formed a stance while you turned to face what was only a pair of legs till you craned your head up to look at him.

You stayed completely still out of shock, till Ganondorf tilted his head a bit, wondering why you merely stared.

"Am I truly that shocking to see my lady?" He asked, a small smirk adorning his face. You nearly wanted to run but at the same time a part of you didn't want to create problems for Rauru or Sonia or even possibly Zelda so you decided to be neutral and scoot over a bit.

"Not as shocked as you would think, sit down and maybe I could see your face without needing to break my neck." You said, hoping that maybe he wouldn't be too interested so you wouldn't have to be too on edge.

But much to your surprise you heard a loud chuckle and next thing you knew had the King of the Gerudo sitting next to you in a garden of flowers.

You couldn't stand the awkward silence so you decided to form a conversation with him instead. "So how is your stay? I hope you're finding things enjoyable?" You ask, fumbling with the pages of your sketchbook, the notes written between the pages among illustrations and dried flowers and plants.

Ganondorf took in everything. How lovely your face looked up close, how tiny your hands were as you held that book in hand, and how your fingernails would get under a page to flip to another as you tried to make conversation.

He wanted you. He knew for certain then and there that he wanted you. It was love at first sight yes. But it wasn't the kind that he would throw away everything for until this point.

Now he understood the tales of foolish people throwing things they had worked hard for away for love. But it's a good thing Ganondorf is a greedy man. He'll have you first even if it means abandoning his first plan. He can always create another.

So as his mind processed these thoughts he gave a hum of confirmation before gazing down at you, "Do you know anything about the desert?" He asked. You would never know this was a conversation to prepare you for the harshness of the desert when he would eventually find a way to sweet talk his way into taking you there.

But unexpectedly you nodded and smiled, "Yes! While during the day it reaches its hottest point at noon, and its coolest point at midnight. But the sunsets and sunrises in the desert are breathtaking!" You started, smiling as you opened another page to some of the flora and fauna you've observed in the future.

"See I love how things can still manage to survive, it's so interesting how they form their own ways of survival and manage to thrive. Just like people do!" You stated.

"And how clear the sky looks at night when you're in the desert, it almost looks like an endless sea of stars. It does get cold at night but I've never been one to grow cold easily." You add, a bright smile on your face only keeping the man stunned in place.

How positive you were when he had only seen the negatives of his homeland. The vast desert is dry and harsh. He hated the Hylians who had taken for granted their habitable home and yet here he was, in love with a Hylian even before you would confess of your love for the desert.

You went on about how to build the most efficient homes, how staying near an oasis is the best move, and how white paint or tiles would help reflect the sun off the roofs. How different muds and rocks and soil can affect how to build a home there. And how you enjoyed the feeling of warm sand on your feet.

It took you at least an hour of talking to realize he had listened intently for a whole hour.

It left your face feeling hot and putting your book to cover your mouth and nose, hoping to cover up whatever blush had formed on your cheeks. "Sorry, here I am drawling on and talking your ear off." You muttered, avoiding eye contact but also realizing that looking at his well-toned body was a bigger mistake as you felt your heartbeat rise and then looked to the scenery to try and calm yourself down.

Ganondorf only chuckled, smiling as he set a hand on your head and gave your hair a little ruffle. "It's okay little Vai, I quite enjoy listening to you talk." He claims, getting up before looking down once more, "We should talk again." He adds.

And with that he walked off, leaving you slightly bewildered.

Unknown to you, that guard had reported back to Rauru and Sonia at the end of the day after making sure you were safe in your chambers.

The next day Rauru and Sonia would pull aside Zelda and Mineru while you were in one of the libraries researching.

"What do we do? Why on earth would he take an interest in Y/n?" Zelda asked, her hands held together in anxiety.

"He should have been targeting one of us. Someone who holds a secret stone. Y/n doesn't even have a stone!" She adds.

Mineru and Rauru sat silently in thought while Sonia put her hand over Zeldas, "Do not worry. I don't think he has the intention to hurt her." She claims, her calm voice carrying Zelda out of all the thoughts of you becoming hurt.

"But that doesn't mean he doesn't hold other intentions with her." Rauru says, looking slightly agitated as his gaze stays focused on the table.

"She wouldn't betray us. That much is certain. So if he doesn't seek to harm her or get information out of her, what could it be?" Mineru asks out loud, her question plaguing the thoughts of all four of them.

And they all knew only time could tell.

And unfortunately for them, Ganondorf would come to find you often, growing closer to you and making you feel comfortable around him. And due to that, coming up with a new plan to propose to his tribe and the warriors who followed him was easy.

He would take you as his wife. A surefire way to ensure a "peace treaty" between the Gerudo and Hylians. And your knowledge of the landscape and ways to improve their housing would prove useful for keeping his people safe, many warriors agreed with this plan as the longevity of their tribe mattered to them more than stealing a stone.

If they managed to strengthen their tribe with knowledge you could lend then they could form a better plan to take over Hyrule.

So with the support of his warriors, he asked to meet with the Hylian court, including you.

And it was tense. When you stepped into the hall, you could have sworn Sonia was on the edge of yelling and Rauru was bewildered. Zelda took notice of you and immediately brought you close to her and went closest to the thrones to keep you within reach.

You had made it late so you didn't know that Ganondorf had just announced his wish to marry you.

"Are you insane? You propose such a thing to keep the peace between our people?" Rauru asked, his voice commanding an answer from the brazen Gerudo King.

"But it is not unreasonable. I understand that Y/n is a distant relative yes? Not only is she of noble lineage she is also intelligent and capable of helping my tribe prosper. Would it not benefit both you and me? You would have my word of peace and know that your relative would be in capable hands and protected by my people as she would become one of us by wedding me, trying our people together." He concluded, looking straight at Rauru.

You were shocked at the information, never expecting to be proposed to by such a man. Yes, he seemed to be kind to you but how would you know he would keep his promise of peace? The history you read was different from this!

You felt overwhelmed as Rauru and Sonia went on about rejecting and Ganondorf would try to talk about the benefits. It took you a minute to collect yourself so you could speak.

"That's enough!" You yelled. You hated all the attention turning to you but this was your life. You were not going to allow anyone else to choose anything for you.

"Give me a couple of days. And I will reply to your proposal Ganondorf. Please allow me that." You stated. Rauru and Sonia wanted to object, and Zelda held onto your hand desperately.

Ganondorf smiled, giving a nod before speaking, "I hope you will give me good news soon my lady.".

After the meeting Rauru, Sonia, Zelda and Mineru profusely asked you to reconsider saying anything but no. That this was insane and that you don't know any of his intentions. It took at least an hour of their constant pestering for you to hole up in a library with snacks and comfort items.

You quite literally locked them out and spent your time reading to try and find any wisdom to help you.

Eventually you came across an old scroll, your body wrapped in a blanket and a few grapes in a bowl nearby while you read what this scroll had to say.

"Time is a complex device. One that has too many layers to have one conclusion. Some say time is final, that the past cannot be changed, and nor can the future. But some say that one single element can change that. The outcome is split into multiples and time divided. Should you find yourself at a crossroads and the future you envision challenged, take the chance for there is no telling if the future is sure. And if changed with a sure future, know that while things around you may change, you will not."

And with that you had decided.

You had bathed and gotten dressed and called a meeting to answer Ganondorfs request. And Rauru, Sonia, Zelda, and Mineru looked as anxious as can be.

And with a couple of words, fate was changed.

"I accept your proposal."

#yandere x reader #yandere x you #soft yandere #totk x reader #yandere totk #yandere tears of the kingdom #ganondorf x reader #yandere ganondorf #yandere #yandere x y/n #yandere legend of zelda #legend of zelda x reader

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rubixpsyche · 2 months

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I don't wanna step on any toes so know that this is absolutely inspired by @redladydeath 's RAM AU, but now I'm thinking of an AU where Vox sabotages his own memories of Alastor because 5 years into Alastor's disappearance he's getting frustrated that he just can't move on. He doesn't care about Alastor anymore, he was stupid to reject him his proposal, why is he still so hung up on some has-been who people are suspecting is dead now, he's not even a threat he's gone.

Maybe he's careful, or maybe emotionally he gets careless and deletes too much too quickly, I haven't figured out which I want yet.

Cos being careful means Vox going through their memories, turning them over and having to really re-experience and consider if there's any crucial knowledge/information he needs from it before he throws it out. Which forces him to keep reliving them and strengthening his attachment which is so counterproductive to this whole plan. And the more he keeps the more he looks like the lovesick reject and he hates that. And for USEFUL experiences, he's pissed because he cannot stand the idea that Alastor made him. He doesn't want a hint of that notion. He is Vox, he is self-made, Alastor was just another person he used on the way up to the top. He didn't need Alastor to get to where he is. Did he.

On the other hand if he erratically deletes memories on impulse, then people, especially the Vees, notice him change suddenly. Mannerisms he unknowingly picked up from Alastor disappear and they are made aware of how much of Vox came from Alastor, stuff he probably didn't even know himself and would have never told others. It bugs Valentino especially, because there was an overlap between when he met Vox and Vox was still hanging out with Alastor. And the amount of influence Alastor has is starting to bug him, because there's no way for him to know if he has the same level of influence (he's jealous). He's part of the Vees, he and Vox started that. Surely he has equal or even more influence on Vox even if he knew him for a shorter time. He is Valentino, he changed Vox's life, like how Vox changed his. For Velvette it's just an unwelcome change, and is a little wary of it changing up their dynamic too much. Was the procedure so destructive that it could topple their empire? Because if that's how this ends she's going to be so fucking mad that he did this to himself and more importantly, them. Impulsively. Without even considering what it would do to the Vees. Isn't he supposed to be the planner?!

Vox will also have to struggle with missing memories he actually really fucking needed and it frustrates em knowing he did that to himself.

Idk I just really wanna explore that dilemma we have after a breakup, platonic or romantic, of wanting to forget everything about them. About how this could harm you because unfortunately sometimes your lives were intertwined so tightly. But also you can own what you got from them, and you shouldn't cut out parts of yourself for them. And you always have more people that will influence you, and you're robbing yourself of something by being so hurt by the past that you won't let others influence you ever again. That's not a bad thing.

Also I want to make it a tech thing >:) I'll expand on that next time

Chromedome fans rise up

#volatile memory au #<- temporary name #yES YES i know RAM is a type of volatile memory as is. but i just like the joke of this being all because of Vox s volatile reactions #and the impermanence of memories and relationships #hazbin hotel #the cube clicks #vox #headcanons #alastor #radiosilence #onewaybroadcast

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lokisprettygirl · 1 year

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Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 14 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 15

Summary : Loki is afraid you won't desire him once you see him for who he is.

Warning: 18+ things get steamy at the end, mention of sex, mention of periods, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, self deprecating behaviour, also Melissa again, Loki having severe internalised racism (he'll get better i promise)

The room was pindrop silent. You looked around and Melissa who had screamed bloody murder just now and wanted to leave, sat back down again. That bitch needed a lesson in humility.

Captain seemed a little bit shaken by the sight in front of him, he had never seen Loki in this form, nobody had, not even his brother. You looked at Thor, and he was equally shocked. You couldn't stop staring at Loki, he was bigger, at least a foot taller than how he looked in his Asgardian form, those ridges on his skin seemed beautiful, he looked like a piece of art, something historic, something you' wanted to cherish with all your heart.

You stepped a little forward since you knew you had no shoes on so your feet won't make any noise, big mistake because Loki looked to the side as you reached closer, he took a sniff as if he could smell you, there was a brief moment when he looked right into your eyes or so you thought, they were teary again. He couldn't see you though, right?

You were there, your scent reached his senses and he just knew you were around him. This is not how he wanted you to find out about this monstrous side of him. Why did you come here? What if someone would have caught you?

"Bring me my shield" Rogers asked Hawkeye so Loki averted his gaze and snickered,

"Changed your mind, captain? I thought we were going hand to hand"

"We are, my shield is a part of me" Steve sneered at him.

"Actually that's--" Tony was about to say something but Steve glared at him. Wow Captain America had no expressions even when he seemed angry.

"Whatever helps you sleep tonight captain" Loki retorted.

"He's like a yeti, big scary freaky yeti, but I can't stop staring, it's like staring at something sooo unnatural..it's crazy isn't it" Melissa commented on his appearance yet again and she was speaking to Jane, Loki didn't even bother looking at her this time.

"Why don't you just be quiet or better yet..leave?" Jane replied. Thanks Jane.

Before anyone could say anything else, they both charged at each other, Loki was merciless, you had to take a step back and had to close your eyes every second because you couldn't stand the sight of the captain being beaten up so ruthlessly.

Act of physical violence wasn't something you could digest easily. You heard him growling and he was burning with an animalistic rage. He was tired of feeling like a weakling, he was tired of these people and their hatred towards him, he was sick of their taunts and their ignorant behaviour towards the threat that was out to destroy them all. He felt an intense amount of guilt for killing agent Coulson but it got worse when these people never failed to remind him of what he had done that day.

You were there and you wanted him to fight for himself, you were right, he was a god and these people needed to know that they couldn't just push him around like a puppet all the time. Even though the fight was brutal Rogers wasn't backing out, Tony and Clint intervened and tried to drag him away from Loki but his pride was bigger than his life for him, after a point Thor had to come and he grabbed Loki but you could see him struggling to keep him from attacking again.

"Just stop both of you" Bruce banner interrupted between the fight and you could see the vein in his neck threatening to burst, he was looking all green already so Natasha came forward and took his hand in hers to calm him down. What was that all about?

Rogers was taken away for medical assistance and you noticed that Pepper, Jane and Melissa were leaving as well so you followed them, as much as you wanted to stay and comfort Loki you didn't want to get caught and ruin everything for you both.

"God what an animal...ughhhhj " Melissa commented as soon as they all stepped out.

"Aren't you supposed to be in love with him?' Jane asked her and Melissa rolled her eyes.

"I am and that's why I can accept this ugly disgusting side of him, you're lucky to have Thor who's just perfect with no flaws whatsoever" Melissa said and with every word you heard from her, your hatred for her only increased, you didn't think you had ever hated anyone as much as her in the moment.

As you all stepped out of the elevator, you pulled her hair very harshly before you hobbled towards Loki's room. You heard her pained screaming as she looked behind to see who had done that but she found nobody. You wished that would have been enough but it wasn't. She was continuously hurting Loki and you didn't think you'd be able to take it for long.

"Brother are you alright?" Thor walked towards Loki who had collapsed on his knees in the training room.

"I shouldn't have done that should I?" Loki looked up at him, his eyes filled with tears, Thor has never seen his brother in this form before so it was a bit of an adjustment.

"Well they're not going to like it for sure, he did have it coming though " Loki sighed at the response.

"This is not how i wanted her to see me the first time " Loki mumbled making Thor confused

"Lady Melissa?"

"Y/n"

"She was here?" Thor raised his brow in a questioning manner.

"I could sense that she was, her scent was all over the space"

"Really? What does she smell like?" Thor chuckled,

"How come it's relevant?" Loki raised his brows, except he didn't have brows, those ridges that were present all over his skin merely gave an allusion of the brows "She smells sweet, especially when she's nearing her menstr-"

"Alright I get it" Thor interrupted him before he would be scarred further "Why are you worried about her seeing you?"

"You saw how everyone was looking at me and what that Melissa said" his voice strained because of the bubbling emotions "I brought her here all alone, and now she must think I am some giant monster who could hurt her any minute"

"You're not a monster loki"

"I am the monster we had vowed to eliminate remember?"

"We were just childrens Loki, I didn't know any better but I do now and I know Jotuns deserve the same respect that Asgardians do, but are you willing to accept that?" Loki didn't respond as Thor said that, he just got up, changed back to his aesir form and picked up his shirt from the floor to put it on before he left for his room.

He was nervous going back to the room, he was scared you'd tell him off and would demand to go back, he feared that he'd lose your affection because of who he actually was, whenever you asked him about his jotun traits, he kept his answers to bare minimum, he never described how he looked, he always told you that they were big and blue but he never described his monstrous eyes or those deep ridges on his skin, he never told you that he was a hairless freak, never told you that his skin felt so rough to touch.

As he opened the door to his room he found you on the bed with your phone in your hand, the cloak was placed neatly folded on the side of the bed where he had left it for you.

Perhaps there was a possibility that you weren't there, he didn't want to lose you so soon. He didn't want to lose you at all.

"Hiii" you smiled as you crawled on the bed to reach towards the frontal edge where he was standing, you got on your knees making sure you weren't putting much pressure on your ankle, because of the pills you weren't feeling any pain but you knew it wouldn't be wise to put strain on your sprained ankle. There were small bruises on his face that he had gotten because of the fight so you cupped his cheeks and kissed him, his hair was curly and messy as well.

"I missed you" you mumbled softly and his arms wrapped around your waist before he placed his head down on your shoulder.

"What's wrong?" You asked him so he pulled away a little to look at you, why weren't you running away from him? Why weren't you disgusted by him if you saw him? Perhaps his senses were wrong and you weren't there.

He took a step away from you, the distance between your bodies grew as he continued to step back.

"You were there" he mumbled as he placed his hands on his waist. It wasn't a question but a statement so you sighed and sat down on your hips so your thighs weren't straining.

"Are you upset?" You asked him so he tilted his head, the question confirmed that his intuitions were correct.

"You could have been caught"

"I know, that was very foolish of me I'm sorry" you mumbled softly so he walked towards you, he cupped your cheeks and made you look up to his tall frame so you were meeting his eyes.

"You saw me" he said, his voice sounded defeated and it made your heart sink,

"Yes?"

"Why aren't you scared?" You crossed your arms as he said that, the position would seem really funny if someone were to click your pictures because he was still holding your cheeks between his palms.

"Why would I be scared of you Loki?" You questioned him, your voice showed no sign of fear or disgust, you grabbed onto his wrist, turned your head a little to kiss on his right palm before you slid them down and lifted yourself up on your knees again, even when you were on the bed he was still taller than you, your arms wrapped around his neck, fingers caressing his nape gently as you questioned him again

"Why would I be scared of you baby?" His eyes teared up at the firm but tender sound of your voice.

"Because I'm a monster and you should be afraid of me" your heart broke for him as he said that. You saw the years worth of pain and insecurities swimming in those eyes.

"You think you're a monster? Why?"

You questioned him as your lips pressed small kisses on every little bruises he had on his face.

"Did you not see me? I am nothing more than an animal, an incorrigible monster that's going to hurt you" he spoke so you looked at him before you kissed him, he cupped your cheeks again and responded to the kiss with equal urgency, when you pulled away he pressed his forehead down on yours to regain his composure. His words still clenched your heart and you just wanted to comfort him, not just with your words but also physical affection, you knew how much he loved to be taken care of whenever he was vulnerable and you were going to take care of him

"You won't hurt me lo" he heard your voice but his mind couldn't stop being so cruel to him, why weren't you disgusted by him? One of his hand wrapped around your throat and you felt his thumb and forefingers putting a gentle pressure on the sides of of your neck, the gesture made your head tilt upwards involuntarily.

He wasn't hurting you, not even in the slightest, but the idea of having his hand around your throat in such a manner aroused you, and then out of nowhere you were picturing him in his Frost giant form, you closed your eyes as you envisioned the godly giant you had seen just a few minutes ago, you pictured his large hand around your throat and then you imagined your average sized human body rubbing against his giant blue one. Holy shit you had discovered a new kink just now.

"What if I do?" He asked you before he pressed his lips on yours again and kissed you roughly.

"You are not going to hurt me lo, if there's one thing I know about you then it's the fact that you would never ever hurt me in that way, I trust you more than I trust anyone really. You're not a monster and you could never be..you're just a Frost giant and you're supposed to look different" he let go of his grip on your neck only to curl his hand behind your head and pulled you closer to kiss you again, you clutched on his shirt as you sat back down on the bed carefully, the kiss never broke as you laid down with him on top of you,

"It's not easy for me to accept who I am and it's even harder to think of you willing to touch me when I look like that" he whispered meekly, you wished you could have just taken away all of that self loathing from him but you knew it will take time, you had plethora of issues yourself to understand that it was never easy.

"Oh looo..it's okay baby, someday when you're not feeling this way I would love to see you as you again, you're beautiful in every form and every shape" your voice sounded barely audible as you wrapped your legs around him,

The dress you had on pooled around your thighs in the process, his hands roamed all over your bare thighs as he kissed you passionately.

"You would? You would want to see me like that?" He asked as if he couldn't believe that his princess really wanted to see him like that,

"See you and touch you and kiss you all over" his lips latched to yours as you whispered sweet nothings in his ears.

Everytime you two indulged in something remotely close to a sexual experience he felt your body getting warmer with every passing second, your face always seemed so flushed, he brought one of his hands up to play with your hair while the other one rubbed circles on the insides of your thighs. The warmth radiating from your frame underneath him always riled him up, it was the contrasting feeling against his cold one that affected him so deeply. He wanted you to melt underneath him while you'd just continue to keep him so hard and cold on top of him

"I love you"

As soon as he heard the sound escaping your throat everything paused around him, his nerves kept fluttering as he pulled himself up a little and looked at you, a look of bewilderment clearly visible on his face.

"I know it's probably too soon and I shouldn't be-" before you could finish your babbling nonsense he had his thumb pressed on your lips.

"Say it again…please" you smiled as he said that. He seemed as if he was in shock, wanting to hear the confession again but at the same time he was still astonished, the timing of the confession couldn't have been more glorious, he walked into this room thinking you'd be scared of him in the least but now you were telling him that you loved him.

"I love you lo, I know I do, for once in my life i know that I am in love and i love you.. so much and it scares me because I don't think I'll ever be able to fall in love again with someone who is not you, I always dreamt of a man like you and I found you, it's nothing less than a miracle for me"

As soon as you finished speaking, he placed his forearms down on the bed on either side of your head and kissed you, his tongue slipped past your lips so you sucked on it like a popsicle, he was so cold and he always tasted so sweet, he was a dream come true to life.

"I love you" he mumbled softly,

"You do?" Your eyes teared up as he said that, you feared that he was just saying it to please you. And it scared you eve more when you realised that this was it. Where would you two go from here? You never had guys stick around with you once the honeymoon phase had ended, so you didn't really know what to expect. You just didn't want to lose him so soon or ever really.

"I do, I don't know how to describe these emotions that I have for you other than those words, granted i have only ever said them to one woman before you, my mother" you chuckled as he said that

"You never fell in love before lo? That's a long life to go without love, I was losing my mind at just 30" he nodded as you said that.

"Perhaps i was searching for the heat myself, all I had to do was find you..right place at the right time"

You smiled before you pulled him closer to you, he placed his head between the crook of your neck and you embraced him as tightly as you could.

Your phone had started to ring so you sighed and picked it up, it was your mom so you sat up and talked to her. She was just asking about your injury so you told her that you were feeling better.

"What are we going to do now?" You asked him as you hung up the phone, he was standing at the edge of the bed thinking about it.

"Well I have to feed you first, I'll go get something" he mumbled so you crawled towards him and hugged him.

"Is it bad that I want to kill Melissa?"

"Not really, want to do it together? " you giggled as he said that. After kissing you he picked you up and took you to the bathroom since you wanted to shower before dinner. Once you came out you caught him knitting something on the couch, he was so engrossed that he didn't hear the door opening, he was quick to make the needles and the fabric disappear as your eyes met with him. You wanted to say something but decided to not do so since he already seemed so embarassed.

As you sat down next to him, he wrapped his arm around your waist and picked you up to make you sit on his lap.

"I think you should wear my clothes tomorrow"

"Mmmhmmm you want that? I can do it now" You told him so he put you down on the couch before he hopped towards his closet excitedly to bring one of his shirts for you, he turned around so you could change, you buttoned it all the way up but you were clearly drowning in them. After dinner he showered before you two watched a movie on the couch, you were laying on his lap so you turned on your back once the movie finished.

"I had a weird dream this afternoon" his brows furrowed as you said that.

"What did you see?" He questioned as his fingers scratched your scalp gently

"It was so weird, I was at a party or something, dancing"

"You love dancing "

"I do..don't i?" He giggled as you said that "I was feeling thirsty or tired so I went to the bar, guess who I met there looking sexy as ever in a black fancy suit?"

"Little one if it's not me you need to tone down the excitement" you hit on his chest playfully as he said that.

"It was you but we didn't know each other and then out of nowhere you asked me to dance and we were dancing to that song, remember when we smoked weed and I was playing that sexy song?"

"I remember very well" he smiled

"Yeah and there was this intense heat between us, but apparently I was going through a divorce and you won't believe who my ex husband was"

"I hope it's not my brother"

"Noooo ..it was that doctor guy I met yesterday, Stephen " his brows furrowed again as you said that

"What else do you remember?"

"Not much, oh ..I asked you why you were there at the party and you said Stephen had called you for something, I mean what would a neurosurgeon want from you? And how would he even contact you.. it was so silly" you shrugged as you played with the buttons of his shirt. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed you unbuttoning them slowly. He also had a weird dream about you and now this, for some reason these dreams didn't feel like just dreams. He snapped out of his thoughts as he felt your lips on his neck, sucking softly.

"Mmmm darling?"

"Mmmhhmm!"

"Did you play that sexy song on purpose" you pulled away to look at him as he said that.

"Maybe" he smiled before he picked you up and walked towards the bed.

His room was dimly lit but you could see him perfectly, as he put you down on the bed, he took his shirt off that you had already unbuttoned. He lifted your feet up to inspect the injury, his fingers rubbed slowly over the area, he just wanted to heal whatever discomfort you were feeling at the moment.

"Come here" you put your hand forward so he grabbed it and you pulled him on top of you.

"You drive me insane, you know that? I feel like a hormonal teenager around you, I never thought I'd ever find a man who would make me feel this way" you whispered softly, a smile adorned his beautiful face with your words, his fingers linked with yours before he placed your hands over your head and kissed you passionately.

Unhooking his hands from yours he slowly sneaked them inside your shirt, His hips moved slowly over your clothed heat, strings of moan left your mouth at the building sensation. He laid down on his side much to your disappointment but then you felt his hand between your legs, he rubbed slowly up and down before his hand slipped past the waistband of your shorts, you moaned his name out loud as he cupped your mound,

"Is this alright darling?" He whispered in your ear and it made you feel hotter somehow.

"Please don't stop" the whiny tone of your voice made his jaw clench, he could feel your wetness seeping through the fabric, he placed the tip of his thumb on your clit and rolled them in circles, the action made you arch your back, one of your arm wrapped around his neck to hold him while the other one gripped the bed sheet, his lips sucked onto your neck, soft wet kisses felt like an assault on your already heightened senses.

"You're such a pretty girl..look at you" he whispered softly, you bit on your lips as he stimulated your clit with his skilled fingers, no words came out of your mouth except moans of his name. He wasn't even touching your bare skin but your whole body felt aflamed,

"Lo…oh god please" your thighs squeezed around his hand, the desperate need to hump him like this made your hips buck back and forth involuntarily..

"I have never been so patient with a woman darling, never took so long to bed her, but for you I'd wait forever if you'd want me to. Watching you amidst this whirlpool of scintillating pleasure feels as if all the norns in all of the realms came together just to bless me with a little goddess of my own" your eyes teared up with overwhelming emotions, the ministration of his fingers and his words flooded your heart with such happiness that you never thought you'd find, you only found them in your fantasies but this was better than all of your fantasies, it was everything because it was real.

Your body convulsed as the orgasm swept you away in one quick wave, it was intense, it took your breath away.

He moaned by the sight of your writhing form, his fingers continued their torture on your cunt while he used his other hand to stroke your head like a pet.

"Looo…" the whiny sound of his name slipped past your lips making him smile

"That's it little one, that's my good girl, so beautiful.. i love you" he kissed you briefly before he rested his head on his own arm, his eyes traveled back and forth from your face and heaving breasts. He was so proud of himself at the moment.

"Goddd you're a god ..for real" he chuckled as you said that.

The mischievous smile didn't last however when you immediately cupped his bulge and gave him a gentle squeeze.

"My turn"

You lifted yourself up and he was now laying on his back, he kept looking at you and once in a while he'd put his head up to watch your hands rubbing his cock slowly.

"I'm so unbelievably wet"

"Mmmmhmmm?" He smirked but he noticed the frown on your face.

"What's wrong?" You squeezed your eyes shut as your stomach twisted painfully, you immediately stopped touching him as you sat up.

"I think I'm on my periods"

😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

Note : Weirdest ending to a chapter i have ever written. Next chapter will be weirder as poor blue balled loki frantically trying to find period products for her 🤣

Tag list (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)

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#loki x female reader #loki x reader fluff #loki #loki x reader smut #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x you #loki x reader angst #loki x reader fic #post avengers loki #canon divergent au #soft loki

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theresattrpgforthat · 1 year

Note

Is there a ttrpg about collecting curses?

I's a somewhat common trope that charcters are given a curse, that also gives them cool/horifying powers, so I wander if anyone has made a ttrpg about that.

THEME: Curses

This is a series of recommendations that explore the idea of characters getting worse or weirder as they play. Most, if not all of these games fall in the horror genre, which should never be played without some form of safety tool in place.

Something is Wrong with the Chickens, by Elliot Davis.

Bryson Foods, Inc has taken everything from us.

We are Chickens.

We are Eldritch Horrors.

Make. Bryson. Pay.

Something Is Wrong With The Chickens is a one-page, rules-lite TTRPG of Chickens, Eldritch Horror, and Revenge for 2+ players, including 1 Chicken Master (CM).

This game is a light-hearted eldritch horror game about Chickens that might either slowly accumulate Eldritch Traits and eventually transcend this mortal coil, or lose all of their Traits and become captured for human consumption. Random roll tables determine where you start, what you’re trying to accomplish, and who you’ll meet along the way.This game is hilarious and easy to run, so I suggest you check it out!

Fears and Fathoms, by curatrix-ribston.

It's not safe out there.

But for some reason, you and your friends have chosen to go. You have made the conscious decision to go and see the things that go bump in the dark. You know it will change you. Perhaps it already has. After all, would you have gone there before? Were you the kind of person who let their friends drag them into such madness? Or perhaps you were. Perhaps you have led them here. Perhaps, in time, you will forgive yourself for what you have all become.

This simple, story-driven system puts players in control of their narrative and how the Strange changes them. Perhaps you will push out the Strange. Perhaps, instead, you will let it brand you, forever barring you from a normal life. This is a game about taking risks and hard bargains in order to get to the truth of a mystery.

Fears and Fathoms is a game about people exploring something that is likely too strange and dangerous to leave them entirely untouched. Throughout the game, you are at risk of gaining Curses and Traumas, which will fundamentally change how your character treats the world around them, and how they react to stress. Keepers are encouraged to think about the Strange and how it affects the world around it - but also what kinds of curses make play interesting for the players, rather than impossible.

Red Giant, by Rookie Jet Studio.

No one knows how the came to be: some people believe it was an act of god, some believe it was due to ancient technology, but no matter how this planet became cursed, it is clear that YOU CANNOT SAVE THIS WORLD.

Red Giant is a Tabletop Role Playing Game influenced by, but not limited to, anime and manga such as Vampire Hunter D, Berserk, and Claymore. Red Giant aims to recreate the various themes, dynamics, and scenarios seen in these types of media.

This game has a character element called Exchanges, which give characters special abilities, but at a great cost. A character must have at least one Exchange at character creation, but no more than 3. Over the course of the game, your character may have opportunities to make more exchanges - more power, for a greater price. If you want to check out the game before you buy, the studio has a Quickstart version that’s available to download. For fans who like gothic, cursed settings, this is worth checking out.

Locus, by CobblePath Games.

What if the world was really against you? What if you couldn't escape? Struggle against the stress and pressure of the world - of your own guilt - bearing down upon you. There are no heroes here.

Locus is a bespoke, mystery/horror roleplay game with unique mechanics crafted entirely around horror. It is a game about flawed character, about exploring consequence and morality against a backdrop of very real, supernatural and monstrous danger.

This game uses playing cards to represent the way the world around them is affecting each character’s mind. It is easy to add cards to your hand, and difficult to discard them. Throughout the game, players will have to monitor their Stress levels in order to ensure they’re not burning through their resources too quickly. If you want a game where you have to struggle against your own Vices in order to survive, I recommend you check out this game.

44: A Game of Automatic Fear, by Stories You Play.

"Someone you know was just replaced by a machine. No one else knows. You are next."

44: A Game of Automatic Fear is a suspense RPG. You portray people who know a robot conspiracy called Section 44 is replacing humanity. Can you survive before the conspiracy replaces you with a machine? Set in the backdrop of the early 1950s, a time of high paranoia, 44 works like an Alfred Hitchcock movie with sci-fi elements. You can easily insert other settings.

While this game isn’t explicitly about a curse, it does have the consistent threat that your character will eventually be replaced. If you were to re-work the setting, you might be able to turn the disappearances into a magical curse, rather than a robot revolution. The game has a supply of currency called Resistance and Menace that deplete and restock throughout the game, in the hopes of beating out the opposition. Meanwhile, characters have to hope their Anxieties don’t take away their best chances at outsmarting Section 44.

Since the game is free to download, it’s at least worth checking out!

The Curse of the House of Rookwood, by Nerdy Pup Games.

The Curse of the House of Rookwood is a gothic horror tabletop roleplaying game where you create a cursed family with supernatural powers and troubled relationships, and take them on strange adventures in an alternate history haunted by mythical monsters and dark magic. Will you work together to bury your skeletons, or will family drama bring your house to ruin?

Rookwood is a supernatural adventure where your family must survive together against a world of secret societies, terrifying spirits and monsters, and ancient evils lurking in the hidden corners of the earth.

As players, you get to decide what time period you start playing the game, and for how long the Curse lasts. Each family member who is related by blood has the same Curse, and the table decides at the beginning of the game how that curse manifests. You can use the Curse to your advantage, but doing so will make you more and more monstrous - become Marked too much, and you are Lost. There are also options for late bloomers, who will manifest the curse partway through the game, as well as members imported into the family: you might not have a Curse, but you don’t have a Gift either.

If you want a game where a family tears itself apart while trying to keep it’s growing pile of skeletons firmly inside the closet, I recommend you check out this game.

Finally, I’ve talked in the past about External Containment Bureau, and Congregation, which both contain the conceit of weird powers that accumulate as you play, although this is not a core mechanic of the game.

#asks #curses #horror #game recommendations #tabletop games #dnd #indie ttrpgs

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wonderlandleighleigh · 1 year

Text

For your reading pleasure, with @alixinwwonderland‘s blessing

I present to you ten pages of 89-year-old Midge Maisel on Hot Ones.

“Hey, what’s up, everybody. For First We Feast, I’m Sean Evans, and you’re watching Hot Ones. The show with hot questions and even hotter wings. Today we’re joined by Midge Maisel. She’s a comedy legend with credits that span the Gordon Ford program, the Tonight Show, the Carol Burnett Show, as well as countless other variety shows and comedy specials as well as her own show, Midge Hour. She has a new memoir coming out, entitled ‘What’s My Name Again?’ Midge, welcome to the show.”

“Quite an introduction, thank you,” Midge beams.

“Now, Midge, how are you with spicy food?” Sean asks.

“I love spicy food,” she tells him, her smile still big. “I used to eat hot peppers to get out of dates.”

Sean blinks. “Wow. That is…so you’re ready for this, huh?”

“Fuck yeah.”

They dig into the first wing, and Midge doesn’t flinch, taking a nice bite, and nodding. “Mm. This one is nice.”

“High praise, that’s one of ours,” Sean tells her.

“Oh, can I get a bottle?”

“You can have that bottle.”

“Oh.” She reaches out, taking it and shoving it into her purse, making Sean and the crew laugh.

“Midge, you’ve written a few books now about comedy and show business and your experiences, what makes this new one different?” Sean asks, as he tries to control his laughter.

Midge chews and swallows, sitting back. “This one got personal in ways I’d previously shied away from,” she explains. “You know, before it felt a little salacious to talk about my personal life, and my struggles outside of show business, but at this point in my life, I don’t really care anymore. And I think if people can relate to those personal struggles and see themselves in some of them, then that’s valuable. Also, all of the men I mention in the book have died, so everyone is fair game.”

More laughter.

They eat the next wing and Midge nods thoughtfully. “Sweeter. Nice.”

“Yeah, the tropiqante is real unique,” Sean agrees. “So your father went from a math professor at Columbia to a renowned theater critic, and your mother went from being a housewife to a popular matchmaker in the Upper West Side. They went through transitions in the early sixties in the same way you did, finding themselves and these new passions and careers. Did that influence your comedy trajectory?”

Midge laughs softly. “Oh. No. No, no, no, my comedy career influenced them. They saw me going out and going after what I wanted and they both realized that they could also do more. Be more than they were, and they were both very talented, determined people. My mother actually became a matchmaker out of necessity. My father’s journalism career was nowhere near lucrative enough to support himself and Mama, so she went pro with the matchmaking to support the family. We definitely pool resources. But they blamed me for the changes they wound up making in their lives. I got yelled at about a few times.”

They move on to the next wing and Midge takes a bite, stopping and nodding. “Mmm. I like that one. That one is great.”

“Right?” Sean agrees. “That’s my favorite this season.”

Midge picks up the bottle, grinning. “I like the kitty label. Can I have this one too?”

“You sure can.”

She grins and drops it into her purse, earning her more laughter.

“You’re off to a great start,” Sean chuckles.

“It’s good!” Midge chirps happily.

“Is it true that when you were working on the Gordon Ford Show, Lucille Ball used to come backstage to hang out with you?” Sean asks.

Midge laughs, clapping her hands and shaking her head. “Not even a little bit! I met Lucille Ball a few times, at things like awards shows, but by and large, we didn’t run into each other. I had nothing but respect for her, but we just didn’t run in the same circles. There were two women who, when they came on the show, would come backstage and we’d smoke cigarettes and gossip and have a good time.”

“Carol Burnett and Julie Andrews?” Sean guesses.

She nods, beaming at him. “I love them both dearly. Desperately. They once helped me scare off Warren Beatty. All we had to do was tell him how old I was, and he lost interest.”

The laughs from that joke are a little more nervous.

“See, I should have been more prepared for you to make jokes like that,” Sean says nervously.

Midge smirks as they eat the next wing.

“Los Calientes Barbacoa Hot Sauce,” Midge reads the label. “Hmm.” She drops the bottle into her bag.

“High praise again, we make that one, too,” Sean tells her.

She grins. “You guys do good work.”

“Thank you. So back in the day, Lenny hosted his own late night show that you wrote for on the side while working for Gordon Ford. Was it hard to balance the two shows? And what was the most fun you ever had doing that kind of work?”

“It was actually pretty easy,” Midge admits. “I mean, from a time perspective, it was challenging, because it was doing double duty and working two jobs, but it was easy to keep the two shows separate, you know? Lenny’s humor was so much more irreverent and bad boy than Gordon’s was, so it was easy to keep it straight in my head. And I was paid well for both jobs. Obviously a little more from Gordon because I was spending more time and I was a regular on the show, but Lenny made sure the studio paid me for my work on his show. The most fun I ever had, was writing them the same monologue. And everyone was in on it. Everybody knew that was the joke, but having Gordon deliver it early in the night on his show, and then having Lenny deliver later on his show and having Gordon storm onto Lenny’s set and watching those two get into a fake fight and then realize that I’d written it and given it to both of them. That was so fun. That aha moment still gets used in clip reels for both of them on tributes and retrospectives, and it was just the best. Both of those men were so talented and so different in how they saw and related to the world, but they made this almost perfect odd couple when you put them on screen together, and I loved working with both of them. Gordon was easy-going but firm. He knew what he wanted, but he was always open to new things, or other suggestions, and he could spot talent and great ideas easily. And Lenny, yes, had a dark side, but there was such a joy in him when he was having a good time. It’s not something people think of when they think of him, but when he’s on a role, you can tell how happy he is, and he’s never above changing things if he realizes someone has something better. He wasn’t terribly precious about his material, and creating with the person you’re in love with is really the best thing ever.”

They eat the next wing and Midge narrows her eyes as she looks at the bottle. “Fly boy Jing - this is very - I don’t know. It’s not for me. I mean, the flavor is good, but- hmm.”

“A lot of people say it’s an oily texture,” Sean tells her.

“Mm, that might be it. I mean it’s not bad! It’s just not my favorite,” she tells him. “I’ll leave this one behind. Sorry, Fly by Jing.”

“So we have a segment on our show called Explain that ‘Gram, where we do a deep dive on our guests’ Instagram, pull interesting pictures that need more context. So we’ll pull up photos on the monitor, and you tell us the bigger story,” Sean tells her.

Midge nods and smiles. “Okay.” She looks at the monitor, and her smile goes wider as she sees a photo of Herself and Lenny in the middle of the snow storm, newspapers over their heads, clearly unable to see in the storm. “Ooooooh,” she laughs. “I love that photo.”

“It was taken in November of 1960,” Sean says.

“That was a night or two before Lenny’s very first Carnegie Hall gig, before we got together,” Midge explains. “And he had come to the strip club I was MC’ing at to apologize to me for some truly dramatic, bad behavior. So we’re backstage, and we’re talking, and suddenly, there’s screaming from onstage. Because it was an illegal strip club, and it was being raided by the cops! So he grabs my hand and we’re trying to get out without getting arrested, and I stop to try and find my coat and purse and he comes back for me, and I’m like ‘I need to get my things!’ and he’s like ‘get more things!’ and drags me out the door, and into the snow, and I have no coat and no umbrella, and my shoes are ruined and Lenny refuses to carry me, but he gave me his suit jacket, and we stole newspapers from a corner newsstand to cover our heads as he rushes me to the hotel the Carnegie people put him up in.”

“That is wild,” Sean laughs.

“Oh, it was really crazy,” Midge giggles, looking a couple of decades younger than she actually is suddenly. “And we…we waited out the snow together. We kissed for the first time that night. Well, we did a lot of things for the first time that night. It’s in the new book!”

Sean and the crew laugh at that.

“Once the snow had let up a little, we trekked back out, and we bailed out Lenny’s friends and a few of the strippers from the club, and then we get the worst Chinese food I have ever had. What a great night. That was the night I fell in love with Lenny. You know, the world thinks of Lenny Bruce as this bad boy, who was seen as a degenerate and a sicknik, but behind closed doors, when he wasn’t on stage, he was so sweet. He wanted to make people laugh and tell truth to power in his career, but at home, he just wanted to be a good husband and a good father, and he was both of those things. I was very lucky to find him, and share almost fifty years with him.”

They move onto the next wing, and Midge takes a bite, chewing slowly as she reads the label. “Turmeric bomb. Hm. It’s not bad. It’s not my favorite. But it is getting hotter. I’m starting to feel it now.”

“Yeah, we’re getting to the back half, here,” Sean agrees. “The scotch bonnets in this one make it hotter.”

Midge nods, chewing still. “Mm. Yeah. Not my favorite. It’s not going in the bag.”

“It’s become legend that Sophie Lennon was not your favorite person, and one of your early sets roasted her for a number of things you found insufferable about her,” Sean comments. “Where did that feud come from? How did that start?”

Midge laughs a little and picks up her egg cream, taking a sip. “Mm. So. I almost scored a gig opening for Sophie back at the beginning of my career, and before she made a decision on giving me the job, she asked me to come to her house to talk. And it turned out that the Sophie Lennon audiences get on stage, and the real Sophie Lennon could not have been more different. She presents as a very humble, down-to-earth working class house wife type to the public, and in private, she is…not that at all. And I get keeping those two personas separate. Lenny did that. You know, his whole face would change just before hitting the stage. But the real Sophie Lennon was not a good person. She was, in fact, cruel, and she was cruel to me. The thing about that conversation that sticks out to me is that she looked at me and she said ‘darling, look at you. I mean really, men don’t want to laugh at you. They want to fuck you.’ And she told me that if I wanted to get ahead in comedy, I couldn’t go on stage and be a woman. I had to be a thing. A character, like her. And I left, bewildered, and then the more I thought about the things she said, the angrier I got about it, and I absolutely fucked myself over by trash talking her onstage. She had me blackballed for as long as she could manage. And we made a little peace eventually, but for a very long time we just couldn’t stand each other. She thought I was a hack, and I thought she was a phony.”

“Cosmic Disco,” Midge reads as she eats, wrinkling her nose. “It’s good. It’s not bad. It’s not as good as some of the earlier ones. And Cosmic disco sounds like something my kids would have been into in the seventies.”

Sean laughs. “It’s well documented that you hold brunch every Sunday and invite both well-known and up-and-coming comedians. How did these brunches come about?”

Midge smiles as she sips more of her egg cream. “Fuck, these really are getting hotter. Okay. So funny brunch is something I started doing back in the eighties, and Lenny just kind of went along with it. But something that really struck me about Sophie Lennon was that she was this hugely successful icon in comedy, and she had no interest in holding the door open for the next generation of comedians, and I hated that. Not just because I was someone she slammed the door on, but because comedy is a living, breathing thing that changes with the times, right? New people are constantly finding different ways to make people laugh, and that’s a good thing. An important thing. So I started using the brunches as a way to meet other comedians, and to - to really help them, too. Comedy is a tough career, so for the people that were really struggling, it was a hot meal once a week that didn’t come in a pouch, and for the more successful comedians it was a way to hang out, and maybe get some career advice from myself or Lenny or the other old timers who would drop in. And I just loved it. I loved doing that. Robin Williams was a regular, what a sweetie he was. I miss him. Bob Sagat used to pop in. Whoopi Goldberg would show up after a tough Saturday night club crowd. And I still hold them. My kids will come by and help with the cooking sometimes, but I just love it. Amber Ruffin comes sometimes, and I just adore her. She’s amazing. And John Oliver will show up most weekends. Kenan Thompson has been coming for brunch for ten years now. Once in a blue moon, I’ll open the door and Steve Martin will be standing on my doorstep with a bottle of fresh squeezed orange juice. The first time Patton Oswalt showed up at my door, he was so nervous, I thought he was going to pass out, poor thing. You know. It’s all sorts of comics. Occasionally, when the College Humor guys are in town, I invite them - the- the Game Changer guys, those guys. Sam Reich and his unruly pre-schoolers, I call them. They’re fun. It’s just wonderful to be able to connect with people who do the same job that I’ve been doing all this time. It’s a strange community. We should all be thrown into a mental ward, probably, but almost everyone is great.”

“Almost everyone,” Sean repeats, grinning.

Midge takes a breath and lets it out slowly. “I’m not going to name names. But there are a few people who just aren’t interested in being a part of the community. They want to be famous, and they don’t care about other people. And that’s fine, that’s their choice, but they do miss out on nice things.”

They move on to the next wing, and midge blows out a breath.

“Da Bomb, Beyond Insanity,” she reads, before sniffing her wing and wrinkling her nose. “Ugh. This- Sean. This smells like something Lenny vomited up while he was going through withdrawal.”

“Not quite a ringing endorsement,” Sean says.

Midge sigh softly and lifts it up. “Whelp. Tits up.” With that, she takes a bite, and wrinkles her nose. “Augh. Sean. What the fuck.”

Sean takes his own bite and nods. “I know.”

“Fuck,”

“Yeah.”

“Sean. Why. Jesus.”

“Just do your best with it. You’re doing great.”

“I get that this is how you get views, but holy fuck is this bad,” Midge tells him. “And hot. Christ!” She takes her egg cream and takes a big gulp. “Sean. I am going to be ninety in a few months! Why would you do this to an old woman?!”

“I’m sorry, Midge,” Sean says, trying not to laugh.

“No you’re not. You’re not sorry. People who are sorry don’t smile like that,” Midge accuses him. “If the devil exists, his jizz probably tastes just like this hot sauce.”

The crew and Sean burst out laughing at that.

He tries to catch his breath as he drinks his own egg cream. “You grew up during World War II.”

Midge nods, drinking more of her egg cream. “I’m gonna need another. Ethan, Sweetie, can you please grab me another egg cream, I’m melting.”

“Sure, Ma,” Ethan says from off camera.

“Thank you. That’s my son. He’s wonderful. He took over my manager’s company after she retired and he’s been doing an amazing job,” Midge tells Sean. “Yes. I grew up during the war.”

“Was that something that informed the way you’ve lived your life since then?” Sean asks.

“Not at first,” Midge admits as Ethan brings her another egg cream. “Thank you, Sweetie, you really are the best.” She takes another sip. “Fuck. Okay. So. You know, after the war ended, America really wanted us to forget about it. To forget about all the changes. The fifties were, on their surface, a perfect time in America, but they truly were very scary for women and for people of color. And even for white men. It was- how to explain - we were expected to be perfect. We were expected to be…happy. Just happy. All the time. And yes, there was an economic boom, and that was good, but the men who survived the war and came back had shell shock - PTSD as we know it now - and women were expected to go from working in factories to being homemakers again and it was an existence that hurt a lot of people. I keep bringing up Lenny, but his drug use was a direct result of fighting in the war. They gave him amphetamines to keep him alert, and he got hooked, and to calm him down and get him off them, they gave him morphine and then he got hooked on that. And so many people went through those kinds painful experiences, but you weren’t supposed to talk about them. It was why a lot of people hated my comedy at first. I wasn’t supposed to get on a stage and tell strangers about how my husband fucked someone else and left. I was just supposed to keep going. But keeping it in - lying to people, because that’s what you did when you got divorced, you lied to your neighbors and acquaintances about it to save face - was too much for me. And that kind of swallowing of pain and trauma became too much for a lot of people. You can draw a line from that mindset to how sick of it people were by the time the Vietnam War really blew up. It was too much. But I didn’t understand that until my first husband left me, and my life blew up. And then all bets were off.”

“You ready for the next wing?” Sean asks.

“Fuck, I guess so,” Midge says, sipping more egg cream and then picking up her next wing.

She takes a bite and looks at the bottle. “Puckerbutt,” she giggles. “Sean, you dirty, dirty boy.”

The crew laughs and Sean shakes his head, resting his arm against his eyes so he doesn’t get hot sauce in them. “Midge.”

“God, this one is hot too, it’s all building, fuck, why did I agree to this?”

“Well, we’re glad you did, and you’re getting so close to the end,” Sean assures her. “You’re doing great.”

Midge picks up a tissue and blows her nose. “Jesus. So. Back before I met him, Lenny did a guest spot on the Playboy Penthouse TV show with Hugh Hefner, and he had to blow his nose in the middle of the interview, and now I know exactly how he feels.”

Sean smiles. “Do you think he’d have come on here?”

“No,” Midge says immediately. “I love spicy food, he really didn’t. He would have come to sit next to me and dab my forehead, but he would have told you to fuck yourself if you’d offered him one of these.”

The crew laughs again.

“Shy Baldwin is one of your best friends, but you’ve had a rocky history. Can you talk a little about how you’ve kept that friendship going, even through difficult times?” Sean asks.

Midge drinks more egg cream and sighs. “I love Shy. I have always loved Shy. It’s like having a little brother. I love him to death, but I really fucked things up back in the early early sixties, and I’m really lucky he forgave me. But after we put that kind of behind us, we were just there for each other. He’s my youngest daughter’s godfather, and I when he and his partner adopted a baby in the seventies, we talked a lot about parenting and what it is to really give up a big chunk of your life to care for someone else, and when the AIDS crisis hit in the eighties, we started performing together again to raise money and awareness. Shy had come out about five years before it truly hit, and we took shit-tons of photos together, hugging and holding hands and kissing cheeks and eating together to assure the public that you couldn’t get AIDS just by touching someone or being around someone. But there was so much misinformation - so much non-information at the time - it was tough, but because our government was fucking up everything about the AIDS crisis, as public figures, we felt like it was our responsibility to try and help get accurate information to the masses. And the people who hated me for it, largely already hated me because I was Jewish anyway, so it wasn’t any extra skin off my back.”

She watches as Sean picks up the last bottle and gives it a shake.

“What- what is this?” Midge asks. “Are you going to throw that on me?”

Sean laughs. “No, no, I promise, that’s not what’s happening. This is called the last dab. We put a little hot sauce on the last wing in the lineup.”

“Do I have to?”

“You don’t. But you can.”

“Well, if you’re doing it, I don’t wanna look like a pussy,” Midge says, lifting her own bottle and giving it a shake. “I’ve come this far.” She pours a little on her wing. “The Last Dab Apollo. That’s the gig that got me kicked off that first Shy Baldwin tour.”

The crew laugh, as she picks up her wing.

“What did you say before? Tits up?” Sean asks, as he lifts his wing.

Midge smiles and nods, lifting her own. “Tits up,” she says, before taking a bite. “Mm. Hot. But good hot.” She lifts the bottle and tosses it into her bag.

Sean watches her and shakes his head. “Midge. I am floored. I - you are 89 years old, likely the oldest person we’ve ever had on this show, and you crushed it. We’ve reached the end, and you have beaten the gauntlet.”

“Fuck yeah,” Midge cheers, tossing down her half-eaten wing and taking another sip of her egg cream.

“Just one more question. I want to ask you about something that Lenny once said about you.”

“Oh, no,” Midge smirks.

“He said ‘Midge Maisel is the voice of women throughout time. She speaks for the women in our society who have been subjected to horrors only men can dream up, and she does so with an unparalleled sense of humor. There is no one like her.’”

“Fuck,” Midge sniffles. She looks up. “You died! You’re not supposed to keep making me cry, you schmuck!” She takes a breath. “He was really my champion, but I don’t think he’s right. Because women’s experiences aren’t universal. I can’t possibly speak for all women, because my experiences as a white, Jewish woman don’t line up with those of black women, or Asian women, or Latina women, or gay women, or- or Non-binary female-presenting- is that right? God I get confused sometimes. But I don’t think he’s right. I think I do the best I can. But as always, Lenny remains sweet.”

“Midge Maisel,” Sean grins. “You’ve beaten the wings of death. Plowed through these hot sauces like they were nothing, and now all that’s left to do is take a bow. This camera, this camera, this camera - let the people know what you have going on in your life.”

Midge laughs and turns to one of the cameras he pointed out. “Hi. I’m Mrs. Maisel. I have a new book coming out, it’s called ‘What’s My Name Again?’ because I’ve had so fucking many. I’m co-producing a documentary on New York’s West Village nightlight and what it was like back when I was still a size two, and my daughter runs a charity that helps recovering addicts get back on their feet and support their families and loved ones through difficult times. I’m going to force Sean to put the link in the description. Thank you and goodnight!”

Sean and the crew laugh.

“Ma, it’s ten AM!” Ethan calls.

“Fuck you!” Midge chirps back as everyone applauds and laughs.

#fic #au #tmmm #Midge Maisel #Midge x Lenny #Midge/Lenny #Future Fic

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m-jelly · 2 years

Note

Hi! can I request an Erwin x reader where the reader is black and just there experience’s as an interracial couple and how they deal with close minded peoples opinions on it? sprinkled with a bit of pregnancy and child raising please?

Sure thing. I'm not a POC, so I'll try my best to bring things across my dear friend has gone through when we were at uni together and her now being a police officer.

Opinions

Pairing: Erwin x POC!Reader

Genre and tags: married life, modern AU, struggles, overcoming, supportive Erwin, romance, fluff, pregnant reader, parents.

Concept: Different stages and struggles that you encounter being with Erwin.

Disclaimer: I am not a POC. I am also British. So, the encounters the reader has will be influenced by things I know have been said to my friends in the UK. If I cause offence in this fic, I am sorry and that was not the intention of the fic.

Being a couple.

You sat next to Erwin in the car with a soft smile on your face. You were excited to go to a company party with your husband. He was going to introduce you to the heads of the company, who were very fond of Erwin. You were very nervous because they were rather old men and you didn't know what they were going to think of you.

You jumped when Erwin placed his hand on yours, his touch loving and kind. You realised you'd reached your destination. "Sorry, I was in my head."

"You're worried."

You laughed. "Was it that obvious?"

He kissed the back of your hand. "I love you, okay? They'll love you as well. They've been dying to meet the woman who helped me come up with some great ideas."

You released a long sigh, but it did not ease your worries. "Let's go."

Erwin helped you out of the car and placed his arm around you. "Darling, if you ever want to leave, just say."

You hummed a little. You held his hand and walked with him to the lift. You felt nervous as you went up and hoped you weren't alone up there because standing out was something you did not want. However, your wish was not granted. Your stomach dropped as soon as you stepped out of the lift.

You felt your voice catch in your throat as tears stung your eyes. There was no one else in the room like you. You gripped Erwin's hand tighter before walking with him. You could feel eyes on you both. You could feel their gazes boring into you. You were used to stares, but there were so many here.

You released your husband's hand. "I'm going to get a drink for us both. You go say hi to the chairmen."

Erwin frowned a moment but decided to nod instead of pry. "Sure thing."

You gracefully walked across the room to the drinks. You leaned on the bar and waited. You huffed as you were ignored for a while. You smiled when a woman served you the drinks you wanted. You took them and turned to a group of rich wives and mistresses.

You gave them a strained smile. "Hello."

One frowned at you. "You came here with Mr Smith, right?"

You nodded and knew what was coming. "I did."

"I thought he was going to bring his wife, not his maid or assistant."

"Ah well."

Another interrupted you. "Mr Smith speaks so highly of his wife. He says she's stunning and pretty. I can't wait to meet her."

You started to get annoyed. "Ladies, if I can just."

The first groaned. "He must be hiding her!" She gasped. "Mr Smith! We were just talking about your wife!"

Erwin put his arm around you before kissing you. "Isn't she stunning? She's the love of my life."

You smiled at your tall handsome husband. "You're too kind."

He took his glass. "Not kind enough." He chuckled. "Now, excuse me but I have to take my wife to meet the chairmen."

You trotted along with Erwin. "You heard them, didn't you?"

"I did. I tried my best to protect you."

You smiled. "You did great."

He let out a long sigh as his shoulders dropped. "Thank goodness."

You giggled at his response. "Good boy."

Erwin walked you to the chairmen and smiled with pride. "Here is my wife. She was the brains behind the recent big change I made."

The old men stared at you, but one spoke for the others. "Oh, how exotic. Good for you. You're a good man."

"Sorry?"

"Your wife."

Erwin frowned. "I take offence to that."

The old man looked nervous. "Sorry?"

Erwin sighed. "I've met this kind of talk before. You say she's exotic, that I'm a good man for being with someone outside my race. Can we just appreciate my wife like you would anyone else? She's smart, kind, caring, talented, pretty, funny, sexy and a better person than anyone in this place." He grabbed your hand. "Come on. Let's go somewhere better. I'll look for another job too. I'm sure another company will want me as CEO."

You blushed as you stumbled after your husband. "Erwin...thank you."

Pregnancy

You shuffled around the store as you bought baby things while your husband was picking up baby things on the other side of the store. You hummed a little song to yourself and paused a moment when you saw a woman staring at you. You smiled at her and carried on looking.

Erwin jogged over to you with a basket full. "I got everything!"

You giggled. "Thank you for getting things from the other end of the store."

"I'm having a lot of fun doing this." He gasped when he saw something else. "Oh! I'll be right back!" He walked over to some toys and picked up something to see a woman had followed him. "Um, hello?"

The woman smiled. "We need more good men like you in this world."

He blushed. "You're too kind. I'm just excited to see the baby."

She hummed a laugh. "Bless you! You'll be a wonderful step-father."

Erwin frowned. "I'm sorry?"

"Dating a single mother. You're a good person."

Erwin gritted his teeth. "That's my wife and that baby is mine. How dare you."

She blushed and backed up. "Oh! I am so sorry, I just-"

"You just what?" He sighed. "Sometimes you should just mind your own business." Erwin grabbed what he wanted and stormed over to you. "Come on, let's head home."

You smiled softly at him. "Sure!"

"I'm looking forward to putting this all together."

"Me too."

Being parents

You carried your daughter in your arms as you walked with Erwin to a nursery that you might take your daughter to. You smiled at Erwin and saw he looked a little emotional. You couldn't help but giggle at how sweet he was.

You sighed. "Erwin, she needs to go."

He sniffed. "I know. I'm just going to miss her." He whined. "Working from home will just be me and you for a while." He gasped when a realisation hit him. "Oh...this might be fun."

"There we go, we found a positive."

He opened the door for you. "This could be fun, but I will miss her a lot."

"She'll miss you too."

A man hurried over and grinned. "Mr and Mrs Smith, correct?"

You nodded. "That's us."

He smiled at your daughter. "Oh, she's a cutie! Come to my office and we'll chat about our offers."

Erwin led the way and pulled your seat out for you in the office. "We've read up about this nursery and it seems so good for our daughter."

You put your girl on her feet and watched her go play with the toys set out for her. "We're excited for her to learn in a safe environment and make friends."

The man smiled. "Well, we provide all that here. She'll get on swimmingly with the others and be able to mix with kids like her father. Plus, it's a great learning experience for our other children. We don't have any exotic children here, so she'll be our first."

Erwin cleared his throat. "I'm sorry?"

"Did I say something offensive?"

You called your daughter's name and picked her up. "You did. Our daughter is not some fun thing for kids to look at and marvel at! You're talking as if she's some sort of animal at a zoo."

Erwin stood up. "Exotic? Really? I want our daughter to be treated like every other kid. I don't want her to be treated like some...some...some...museum exhibit. We'll take our daughter somewhere else, thank you." He put his arm around you. "Let's get some ice cream, yeah?"

You both smiled at your daughter getting excited. "Thanks, my love."

Erwin winked at you. "Our daughter deserves the best. I know she won't get prejudiced all the time, not everyone thinks the way he does, but I don't want her to go somewhere to experience it so soon. I want her to be treated like every other kid." He sighed. "When she meets that first issue, or someone saying something we'll sit down and have a chat with her. Let's just let her be a kid before we talk about the stupidity of adults."

You kissed his cheek. "You truly are the best."

"I try as best as I can. I want both you and our daughter to be happy. That's all I ever want."

"I love you."

"I love you always."

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dailykyun · 2 years

Text

ROLLING STONES KOREA INTERVIEW

I.M, an artist who is calm and fluid like cool jazz.

The meeting between Rolling Stone Korea and I.M took place in Seoul on the last day of October. I.M, a member of MONSTA X, recently signed an exclusive contract with Sony Music. When asked by the editor about his recent status after the contract, he replied, "I've been focusing on my solo album recently, so I'm taking time to focus entirely on myself," raising expectations for future solo activities. I.M, who likes Chet Baker, had a loose and romantic atmosphere. To listen to I.M's voice, which speaks his musical convictions in a calm and low tone It won't be easy not to fall for him. Let's listen to I.M's story with "Everything Happens To Me," which he often listens to these days.

1. [RSK] Hello, I.M. Nice to meet you! Before we begin, please introduce yourself and say hello to our subscribers.

Hello, Rolling Stone Korea. I'm I.M.

2. [RSK] How have you been these days?

I'm working on music, organizing my schedule, and working out.

3. [RSK] I heard you recently signed an exclusive contract with Sony Music. Is there a reason why you chose Sony Music?

Sony Music showed me enthusiastic interest and detailed plans. I was grateful for their sincerity.

4. [RSK] This season was busy for some reason, and I feel like I have to look back on the past year and restructure many things. Do you like it when things are busy and hectic, like right now?

Well, apart from preference, this period seems very hectic. There are many events and awards ceremonies at the end of the year, so it's busier than ever. I think it's a very busy time. (laughs)

5. [RSK] Let's talk about I.M's past. You lived abroad, such as Israel and the United States. How did this experience affect you?

I was influenced by the way of thinking because I was exposed to various objects, environments, and people. So, I came to think not limited to one thing, and I came to think, “That could be."

6. [RSK] I bet it was a struggle to adjust here in Korea after living abroad for so long.

Actually, I came to Korea when I was in the second grade of elementary school, so I'm totally Korean now. (Thinking hard) I'm a little confused now. (Laughs) Oh, I remember learning Korean at that time when my dictation test score started at zero.

7. [RSK] When did you first decide to do music?

I was in my room and all of a sudden I thought, "What if I made a song?” That's how I started. It was about seventeen or eighteen.

8.[RSK] Are there any differences between when you're active in a group versus you're working solo?

When you're in a group, you have to consider the needs of the public. I have to make a collection of various parts, but when I do a solo, there are a lot of things that come from my personal emotions, so I think I focus on myself.

9. [RSK] I heard that your dad played a musical influence in your life. Is the reason as to why you like jazz music?

Yes, that's right. I woke up listening to classical music and jazz when I was young. The home audio system was well-equipped at home, which seems to have affected me a lot. My father plays music whenever he is at home.

10. [RSK] I heard that you like Chet Baker's "I Fall in Love So Easily." What are the reasons for liking Chet Baker?

I'm not a quick talker. The song I'm making isn't a fast tempo either. Since I have a calm atmosphere when I'm alone, I naturally thought that jazz and I were similar in texture. Listening to it makes me feel at ease.

11. [RSK] Do you still enjoy listening to <I fall in love so easy> these days?

I like "Everything Happens to Me" these days. I like Hisaishi Joe's "HANA-BI".

12. [RSK] The solo album, starts with "Duality," which was composed and written by you, as you are active in producing songs. Where do you get your inspirations when you're write a song?

I think it comes out a lot when I'm alone. Observing things around me or putting myself in a virtual situation to make a song. And I watch movies too. When I can't think of any inspiration, I drink.

13. [RSK] You told me about the movie, is there anything you remember recently?

I watched “The Accidental Narco, Narco-Saints.”

14. [RSK] Do you usually enjoy crime genres such as “The Accidental Narco, Narco-Saints”?

Well, I think old movies catch my eye. The colors at that time are low-definition, but it's pretty. I like colors like “Joe Black's Love.” I also watched "Mood Indigo.”

15. [RSK] Emotions are probably one of the inspiration factors, so which of those emotions inspires you the most?

There are times when I write songs with joy, and such as depression, loneliness, and sadness as materials. It's hard to choose a particular emotion, and I always write with a sincere heart.

16. [RSK] What is the process of linking this inspiration to your projects?

Well, it's kind of random. For example, you sing a melody in the word you see in front of you and find a similar rhyme there and use the rhyme. I think it's a little hard to unify this process into one. It's something that comes out of nowhere. I write it down in my cell phone's memo. I write it down on my memo app, or make something while making the melody line. It's unspecified.

17. [RSK] You must meet a lot of people as an artist. What type of people do you vibe well with?

Well, it's a hard question. Someone who vibes well with me… I like people who are not shallow. I think being humorous and being shallow is another. It's hard to get close to someone who's not showing serious thought.

18. [RSK] As we get older, we experience our love ones leaving our sides. How do you deal with losses and breakups?

"Time.” Is it too obvious? Actually, I've been in the entertainment industry for 8 years, so the people I worked with are leaving, and the fans who have liked me for a long time go to other people (laugh). But as time goes by, the position seems to be filled in any form. It's a shame if you can't see them forever, but if you can see it again, it's not now. You can see it anywhere.

19. [RSK] What kind of artist do you want to be remembered by the public?

I don't think I've ever thought about this while making music. Well, I think I'm getting a lot of my color on my work. When people around me listen to my work, they say it's like me. So I want to continue working like this.

20. [RSK] Could you give a little bit of spoiler to fans who are waiting for your new album?

That's true of any work, but even if I was satisfied at that time, I could see a lot of empty spaces afterwards. In terms of that, I think the next album will be better. Hint will be... ‘something better?’ (laughs)

21. [RSK] Thank you for your long interview with Rolling Stone Korea. It was a time to get to know I.M better. Lastly, please tell us how you feel about the interview and any last words that you would like to share.

I hope it's a time where you get to know me a little bit. I'm confident in what I'm going to make, so I want to tell you that stay tuned, and please look forward to it!

♡ Translation: dailykyun. Please take out with full credit.

#221116 #changkyun #monsta x #i.m #article #era: nvrmnd

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sp-ud · 1 year

Text

My theories so far for "Generation One: The Social Experiments" of Generation Loss. (And also just a bit of a recap of all the confirmed things I'm aware about Gen 1)

(This is so long. If you read all of this I love you.)

Also, I wrote this May 1st/2nd, before the keynote. I will likely be adding stuff about the keynote either in a reblog to this post or a completely new post which I'll edit a link to or something)

So ever since the name "The Social Experiments" was announced, it became clear to me this was going to be something that we the audience, would be able to have influence on. To some extent.

This was then further solidified by things like Ranboo mentioning that Gen 1 would take place on his Twitch channel, talking about how important it would be to be there when it happened live, and during his Cult of the Lamb stream, mentioning how chat should familiarize themselves with using Twitch extensions to vote.

And of course, T_2: The Inauguration being a short "choose your own adventure" thing also made this pretty clear. Like a test run for the full event. And speaking of T_2, a quick run-through of that. (Because I finished summarizing the new stuff before I realized, shit that video is also probably still important, but the post is already so fucking long)

All of the videos take place on an old TV with static heavily in the background and white text appearing on the screen, "Welcome. You have our attention. Please ensure you are alone. There are precautions in place. The inauguration is necessary. Prove your worth. Please remain emotional. Act upon first impulse."

And then you are asked "Cats or Dogs?", this question doesn't matter. The result is the same, "Now you understand what this is. Next evaluation. Which is best. Power or Wisdom?"

"Power" leads to a failure, reading "Wisdom becomes power. Your input is no longer wanted. Then the camera backs away from the TV, before it vanishes and the words "Try again" appear on screen, before a bombardment of text appears on screen.

"Wisdom" leads to "Impressive. Wisdom is vital. Which will prevail. Life or death?"

"Life" is another fail, "Optimism makes one naive", before going into the same failure screen as before.

"Death" leads to "Intresting. Let's test that." Before cutting to a screen of a person who's face is obscured with a box of static struggling tied to a chair

"You or them?"

You, "Noble yet foolish." Before failure clip.

Them, the person struggles for a bit before going limp, the censor changing to just black, "Did you make sure you were alone? Yes or No?"

No, "You should have." Fail.

Yes, "Good. One final request. Don't Look away." Then the GenLoss logo as it's pictured above slowly fades in, before vanishing and the text reading "Congratulations." appears. There's a few more seconds of just a blank static screen before in red text in the bottom corner pops up reading "Your failures have not forgotten"

So, at this point, all I really had for theorizing was: Somehow the audience will be able to influence the events that happen. And that's about it.

But luckily, the "Connecting..." teasers came out and there was finally more to work with! Yippee!

So the first one Connecting... is a 30 second video of a cassette tape with the letters "TSE" written on it, heavy visual static over it, with some bopping kinda ominous music over it, before a short jingle plays and we hear "If you have any information on these individuals, don't hesitate to call. We thank you for your cooperation during these times" followed by a sound that reminds me of someone turning off some kind of old tech, or hanging up a corded phone.

Not that much to work with other than that there's a group of people who are being looked for, for some reason. Also the "TSE" is likely short for "The Social Experiments" aka, the name of Gen 1.

Also, in the description, there's binary that when translated reads "From one to another", not really sure what to do with this bit of info yet.

Then we get the second Connecting... teaser, which was just this image.

My initial thoughts on this, ripped straight from my Twitter are: "I think what's happening in-universe is that whatever audience roll we'll be playing, will think what's happening is just a show with no serious consequences. But what we influence will have real serious impacts on the safety and life(s?) of the participant(s).

And the crossed-out thing makes me think of like. An office building. So maybe that's whatever organization is behind this broadcast, and they're lying to their viewers about what's really happening.

And who's made these sticky notes? They obviously know more than they probably should. And are going to somehow try to stop whatever is happening. From happening. Did they used to be a part of this group? Are they someone who was supposed to be a victim but escaped?"

And at least one part of this got answers in the currently most recent video, Connected.

The first chunk of the video is red and black static with the word "Connecting..." before cutting to a black screen reading "Welcome" before some more bopping but ominous music kicks in and the screen changes to some sort of infinite tunnel filled with red light.

A bunch of text flashes on screen, in order it reads: "Look into infinity. You are now worthy. One of many." this order repeats 3 more times before more is added after One of many. "One of millions. One to another. One to yours. One to another."

After this text vanishes, The image I put at the top of this section fades in, before cutting to a bright red screen with white text in the corner reading "GEN 1"

Then fades in the image from the Twitter "Connecting..." teaser, the static from the image slowly fading. We get a brief flash to this screen:

Before it cuts to the images from before, but now with missing posters taped up for a currently unnamed character (I'm not calling him Ranboo until it's confirmed the character is called Ranboo.)

There's also tape connecting the posters in the "GenLoss 4 Logo" shape, unsure if that means anything or is just a wink nudge nudge to the audience.

The missing posters feature Ranboo's character, what vaguely resembles the logo that was crossed out with "LIES" written under it next to the word "MISSING", and a phone number to call if you have any information.

According to @/alphiebeet in the replies to the video's link on Twitter, calling the number on the missing posters gives you this message:

"Hello. thank you for calling the Showfall missing person's hotline. We appreciate your call, but you are not able to help us. Please hang up immediately."

The audio in this section sounds like nearby a relatively active street, including a car honking and some birds.

The video cuts to this image for a split second

A much clearer look at what this office-building esc logo looks like, along with 05 03 23 written near it. It looks like the same wall as the other images and even uses the same type of black tape, even though it doesn't seem to be close to the other images and the missing poster.

The screen fades into white, before the same jingle from "Connecting..." the video is heard and this full logo, now with the company name, Showfall Media, appears;

"We are happy to welcome you to the Showfall Media family. Please join us for our special keynote on May 3rd of your time" is said by the same voice from the "Connecting..." video. But before the video ends, a voice that I'm pretty sure is Ranboo says "There's something going on here."

Wow, okay that was. a lot. And oh goddamn it one second, Ranboo posted on the Behind The Scenes account. It's a clearer photo of the images taped to the wall.

Note: The number is scribbled out because it is no longer the accurate number seen in the video.

For some reason, the one farther right and at the end/start of the GenLoss 4 logo has a black censor over their face instead of just a mask.

Now, onto what I think is going on here. Finally (Ranboo better not post more while I'm working on this I STG. Or say anything while streaming.)

Obviously, Showfall Media is behind whatever The Social Experiments are. Or at least the broadcast which will be whatever is going to be Gen 1. They also for some reason have their own missing person's phone line, and will even put their own logo on missing posters. For some reason.

I think I was right about the person who originally wrote the notes the missing posters were over being an employee of Showfall, who realized what was happening/going to happen is wrong, and decided to try and stop it. And I don't think they're actually missing, I think perhaps they realized Showfall was onto them and went into hiding, and the missing posters are a way for Showfall to try and find them.

Though, I wonder if more people are also trying to stop Showfall, as the call said "Individuals", plural. But that's more something we'll just have to wait and see.

One thing that interests me, is the text in T_2, the binary in the descrip of Connecting, and the text in Connected.

From T_2 the intro text: "Welcome. You have our attention. Please ensure you are alone. There are precautions in place. The inauguration is necessary. Prove your worth. Please remain emotional. Act upon first impulse."

and some of the messages on the failure state: "You were not supposed to fail. Think Different. Try Again. Think harder. Keep going. Do you not understand? Who even are you? Do you think this is just a game? Go back. You are NEVER alone. Do not hesitate."

and of course the end screen: "Your failures have not forgotten"

the binary in the Connecting description: "From one to another"

and the Connected text: "Look into infinity. You are now worthy. One of many." this order repeats 3 more times before more is added after One of many. "One of millions. One to another. One to yours. One to another."

it seems like somehow, people need to prove their worth before... something. Currently I'm thinking it's joining Showfall Media, specifically whatever elite group is the one actually behind the shady shit.

And obviously this group probably isnt small, "one of many" and "one of millions" and an important part of this is connecting to the other members "one to another" "one to yours".

I also think the failure messages and the "Your failures have not forgotten" might hint to some level of time shenanigans, and i think whoever this is might also be Ranboo's character trying to get in with Showfall Media to better be able to stop this broadcast. Possibly this backfired and that's why he went into hiding.

And that's kinda all I really got for now, can't wait for the keynote on the 3rd, cuz I imagine it will be what finally gives us a good grasp on what to expect from the actual stream.

#Generation Loss #Genloss #The Social Experiments #Generation 1: The Social Experiments #Ranboo #Genloss TSE #spud originals #sorry it kinda tripped at the end its cuz my wifi died so i then spent hours away from it (because it was late so i jsut went to bed)#lost my steam :(

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is-solarpunk · 1 year

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Solarpunk Writing Prompts #9

Here you can listen to original podcast

Here is the source of the podcast's transcript you can read below

Solarpunk Prompts - The Archivists

Hello world. I'm Tomasino.

This is Solarpunk Prompts, a series for writers where we discuss Solarpunk, a movement that imagines a world where technology is used for the good of the planet.

In this series we spend each episode exploring a single Solarpunk story prompt adding some commentary, some inspirations, and some considerations.

Most importantly, we consider how that story might help us to better envision a sustainable civilization.

If this is your first time here, I'd recommend checking out our introduction episode first, where we talk about what Solarpunk is, why you should care, and why this series came into being.

Today's prompt is: "The Archivists"

A community of archivists, cartographers, or Wikipedians is fighting to save as much unwritten lore and knowledge as they can, before the old generation passes away. They're not hired by any organization or university, but connected by their love for the folk tales and belief that the natural medicine might be worth researching today.

Today's prompt is concerned with the loss of local and indigenous knowledge, a form of cultural memory. When most people think of archival work the mind goes to literature or archaeology or in more modern times we talk about archiving internet content before it's lost to the ravages of time. But this type of cultural loss can happen incredibly quickly, and be devastating to communities.

First of all, UNESCO defines local and indigenous knowledge to be

"... the understandings, skills and philosophies developed by societies with long histories of interaction with their natural surroundings. For rural and indigenous peoples, local knowledge informs decision-making about fundamental aspects of day-to-day life."

Decision making based on a long cultural interaction with the local environment, is like a magical potion of pure bottled Solarpunk. Yet this is rarely the recipe we think of when considering the future.

Chi Luu writes in JSTOR's Daily:

Is there really only one way to build a modern society, one based on Western ideology, with progress through constant growth and consumption? Is there only one kind of science we can use to truly understand the world? There’s hardly an indigenous culture surviving that does not struggle to preserve their traditional language and knowledge against the overwhelming homogenizing influences of Western colonialism. When knowledge does not take the scientific forms we've come to expect from academic research, it’s rejected, but that’s due to an unthinking bias about what value traditional knowledge has to offer. If it isn't in the form of a scientific report or paper, but is delivered in the form of a story, it’s regarded as unscientific and anecdotal folklore, no matter what new information is being conveyed.

In our story we have a community of people trying to hold on to that knowledge. But knowing about these inherent biases from western colonial influence, we could imagine the opposition they might face. Is this the best use of the community resources? Shouldn't we be focused on the scientific studies? Phillip over there has found old manuals for tractor repair. Put your effort into decoding those.

One can imagine a high-stakes conflict between people who want to archive every scrap of dying knowledge vs people who want to use the libraries to educate and help stop further disasters. In the true Solarpunk way of internal conflict, both parties are working toward the same positive ends for the community, but have very different ideas of how it should be done.

Whether our archivists are facing internal conflict or not, there's also the question of how the work is being done. Is there collaboration? Is there technology being put to the purpose for the benefit of the community?

There are very few pieces of fiction showcasing Wikipedia, or similar efforts. There are even fewer that showcase the drama that can unfold in these spaces where everyone is trying to write down knowledge without bias. When everyone has the ability to edit everyone else's work, and there is no one to step in and claim authority, arguments get heated.

And perhaps people viciously typing at one another isn't be greatest visual storytelling, but that type of engagement can come to life in many forms with a bit of imagination. Perhaps the Wikipedia of the future involves shared physical spaces!

Our archivists are impassioned individuals doing this from love, not from assignment. They may take challenges to their work personally.

I should mention one fascinating thing about Wikipedia here. It is a piece of cultural infrastructure and it's sexy as hell. I'm referring, of course, to our second guide to Solarpunk. What's utterly fascinating to me is that Wikipedia, as an idea, is completely incompatible with cyberpunk. There is no place in that vision of technological oppression for a community contributed repository of knowledge simply for the betterment of humanity. Wikipedia is 100% Solarpunk.

Writing ideas for project motivation

But lets get back to our prompt again.

What are some ways we can frame the prompt which would give us a unique perspective on the effort?

If the effort to archive this information isn't creating the conflict itself, perhaps it comes from outside.

If someone from a very different culture or community saw or heard the stories of these people it might be their misunderstanding. When they hear a fable, or a micro-story setting designed to educate by allegory, the listener may hear literal things which offend, confuse, or threaten. How would they handle that interpretation? How would the community try to help settle the issue?

Or perhaps conflict is more than is needed for this story. Maybe it's a personal journey of a child who doesn't understand the value that the old ones carry. It's a lesson in a lesson, then, when the children are given a project to write their family history. Perhaps we can mash up some of these ideas, too. What if the children aren't to create an essay, but to enter their family history into a community wiki.

Is it the teacher's doing? Or do we have another opportunity to show off the amazing power of librarians? This community may teach the children to research and archive, to do science, to investigate, and to share that information with everyone. Their greatest act of service to one another may be open source knowledge.

Open source knowledge is absolutely a gift, and one of the best possible things we can give each other today. Just like we must unlearn the false devaluing of cultural knowledge, we must also release the idea of science as belonging to the scientist.

Citizen science, citizen research, provides invaluable data to the world.

Take the tsunami at Fukushima and the nuclear disaster which followed. There was little to no data on the radiation levels in local areas, only en mass across the whole region. That lack of knowledge limited movement and insight in the region. Public fear led to massive requests and supply issues for Geiger counters. An industry went from selling five machines a month to requests for a thousand per day.

Then a nonprofit stepped in, Safecast, who were testing their new handheld. A compact plastic box housed an Arduino board, GPS, data logger, and tiny Geiger. The device's job was simple: replace the need for manual data logging, replace the need for data aggregation, cleanup, assembly, and so on. Just record all the data in real time and report it back home immediately, every five seconds.

https://www.fastcompany.com/3030731/why-collecting-data-in-conflict-zones-is-invaluable-and-nearly-impossible

In a month they put together 18 million data points worldwide, not just in Japan. That data revealed that evacuation routes in the Fukushima area were wrong and needed to be adjusted.

And what of that data? Was it horded as proprietary company information to be licensed for a fee? No. It's completely open to all and free. Oh, and so is the hardware. The specs are free and components are off-the-shelf. Anyone can build one and start collecting data, which also goes right into that open data set.

Citizen science is powerful stuff, whether it's tracking radiation, or saving a cultural language.

The Tlingit people of Southeastern Alaska and Western Canada faced a problem. In 2007 research reported that there were fewer than 500 speakers of the language left in the world, and many of them were of advanced age. In 2014 there were only two speakers in all of Canada. The warning bells were sounded when the total number dropped quickly to 200.

The Sealaska Heritage institute knew they wanted to do something to stem the tide and save the language and culture it represented.

They spent years and years collecting audio, often by literally recording conversations with elders. Then came painstaking efforts to edit, program, and construct something tangible.

Finally in 2016 they released two free apps to learn the language. With those apps and the materials collected, all freely available, language courses have begun as well.

With any luck, those citizen scientists will save their language.

And, as difficult as it is to think about, if they failed in their primary mission, their recordings may be all that's left of the Tlingit tongue. The spoken language of an entire tribe, gone. Reduced to a few mp3s on a hard drive.

That. That feeling right there. That is why your archivists are doing their work. Nobody had to hire them for it.

Now the hard part is for you, to put that feeling into words.

Until next time, I'm Tomasino. I hope you'll join me for the next Solarpunk Prompt.

Music in this recording is Skyforest by Cyber Surfer 3D from Global Pattern's compilation Solarpunk: A Brighter Perspective

#solarpunk #writing prompt #solarpunk writing prompts #solarpunk loredumps #community as a protagonist #infrastructure is sexy #cultural infrastructure is infrastructure too #libraries are awesome #indigenous knowledge #solarpunk here and now #solarpunk real stories

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canonicallyobserving911 · 2 years

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Eddie Diaz: Encourages people when he sees them struggling

July 2–9, 2022: Getting to know Buck & Eddie week

This post includes a detailed character study on Eddie to illustrate how he encourages people when he sees them struggling.

Eddie has encouraged a lot of people at the 118 since he first started working there. He listens to them while they are talking, assesses the situation and after everyone else has left the room or when he can talk to the person who needs to be encouraged alone, he has a conversation with them. There have been several instances of him encouraging others in CANON but since he encourages others often, only 5 of those instances have been included below. Let’s review 5 of the times when Eddie has encouraged someone within his found family when they were struggling.

Chimney was struggling after his half-brother Albert arrived in L.A. in 3x11 “Seize the Day” because he had issues with his father and he felt like Albert received the benefit of living and growing up with their father but he didn’t. Eddie invited Chimney, Maddie and Buck to his home for a gathering and Chimney asked Eddie, “Do you ever think it’s weird that we spend fifty something hours a week together and we still hang out?” Eddie said, “No. What’s that saying? You got the family you were born into and the one you choose. Well, that’s what the 118 is. The family we chose”. Eddie encouraged Chimney with his words about choosing family because Chimney could have chosen to accept Albert as his brother or reject him. He chose to accept Albert as his brother.

In 3x13 “Pinned” Chimney was chatting with Hen and Eddie while they were in the locker room about his relationship with Maddie. Hen asked him if he loved her and he said he cared about her. After more conversation, he finally admitted that he loved her but he wasn’t sure if she felt the same way. Buck entered the room and told them Captain Reynolds (who was the interim captain while Bobby was out) was ready to do a line up. Right after Buck and Hen left, Eddie turned around and told Chimney, “Hey, I get taking things slow. But tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. So if you love her, tell her”. Chimney took Eddie’s advice and told Maddie he loved her.

Buck was struggling after Eddie was shot by a sniper in 4x14 “Survivors” because he felt like it would have been better for Christopher if he had been shot instead of Eddie. Since Eddie had just woken up from his coma, he wasn’t able to stop Buck from blaming himself. To encourage Buck, when Eddie was about to be discharged from the hospital, he told him about his will. He told Buck that he named him to be Christopher’s legal guardian and when Buck asked him why it took him more than a year to tell him about it, Eddie replied, “Because Evan. You came in here the other day and you said it would have been better if you were the one who had been shot. You act like you’re expendable, but you’re wrong”. He wanted Buck to stop blaming himself, to understand that his life matters and that he was valuable (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: The Will & Legal Guardianship” to learn more about Eddie’s will).

May was struggling with her decision to forgo attending college and remain at the 9-1-1 dispatch center or to accept her place at USC and start as a freshman during the fall semester in 5x15 “FOMO”. She had another conversation with Eddie after they watched a fake social media influencer’s latest video which caused May to say, “I guess it took a near death experience for her to appreciate her actual life”. Eddie saw that she was thinking about something which caused him to ask her “Are you ok?” and she started to explain her reasons for applying to work at dispatch. It was after Athena had been attacked in 3x17 “Powerless” and May thought she could help keep her safe. Eddie told her “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect your family” but May continued by saying before Athena had been attacked, she had a whole plan for her life that she feels like she was missing out on. Then Eddie said, “Trauma often causes us to turn inwards” and they both laughed at how profound Eddie sounded. Eddie then said, “I guess therapy’s rubbing off on me. Look. You hid in a place you knew, where you could feel safe, keep your family safe. I understand the motivation.” She asked, “Does that make me a coward?” and he said, “I don’t think cowards usually ask that question”. Not long after their conversation, May decided to attend college in the fall. While Eddie’s encouraging words may not have been the only deciding factor for her to make a final decision, they did help her see things from the perspective of someone outside of her immediate family.

Eddie went to visit Bobby at his home in 5x18 “Starting Over” after Buck told him that Bobby had been struggling with guilt for hiring Jonah, the paramedic who killed Claudette in 5x16 “May Day”. Eddie said, “Jonah wasn’t your fault” and Bobby said, “Eddie!”. Then Eddie said, “Look. I spent the last few months trying to put away a lot of things from my past and move on. What I’ve learned is you can’t carry someone else’s weight. It will take you under”. Bobby responded, “I’m the captain. My responsibility as your…” and Eddie interrupted him with “as your team? He was on the 118 for what a few weeks? You barely knew him. You think you missed something. All the other cities, other houses. Everybody missed something”. Bobby replied, “This happened on my watch. He killed Claudette and who knows how many others”. Eddie said, “Because he thought he was a god. But he’s not. Neither are you. You’re not all knowing and all-seeing Bobby. You’re just a good man”. Bobby said, “I’m not! I am not.” Eddie then said, “You saved my life and my son’s. So whatever responsibility you take for Jonah, you make sure you take some credit for me. You earned it”. After Eddie left, Bobby went into the kitchen and poured out a bottle of alcohol he had purchased to drink (read blog post: “5 conversations Eddie could've had with his father but didn't” to learn more about conversations Eddie has had with Bobby).

Eddie’s encouraging words helped Chimney, Buck, May and Bobby regarding their individual situations but the truth is Eddie usually encourages anyone that he sees struggling. Prior to Eddie going to therapy, his issue was he rarely applied that type of encouragement to himself or to his own situations. In the past, he had the tendency to carry around all the things that burdened him until he exploded. He’s talking to Frank now and things for Eddie seem to be getting better. Will he continue to encourage people he sees struggling while applying some of those words to his own situations in season 6? Only TPTB know the answer to that question.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #may grant #chimney han #bobby nash #911onfox #911 on fox #911 fox #911 season 5 #911 s6 #911 meta #911 speculation #911 s5 #911 spoilers #911 #eddie diaz is BAE #eddie diaz character study 911

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albertfinch · 1 year

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BOLD, PASSIONATE, AND EXTREMELY COURAGEOUS

Matthew 5:13,14,16 -- "You are the salt of the earth......You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

The entire world is poised for swift, radical change. It is imperative that the Church embrace and fully receive a bold anointing once they become conscious of their Christ identity. This anointing will aid us in formulating preparations for influencing our culture. We are to be catalysts of extreme changes. We are to function as salt and light to a sin-darkened world.

HEAVEN IS DECLARING "AWAKE, AWAKE!"

This is not a time for passive, non-committed Christianity. We are called to become the bold, passionate, and powerful end-time army that confronts compromise and raises the standard ever higher.

We are in a time of swift advancement and acceleration. The Spirit of God sets things in order, bringing about divine purpose -- standing ready to move, aiding all who seek to establish the King in His Kingdom (see Hebrews 1:14).

The Spirit of the Lord is calling for the Lord's army to arise, taking hold of the Kingdom with true spiritual power and force. Remember, the Lord stated that forceful saints would take the Kingdom of Heaven. "And from the days of John the Baptist until now the Kingdom of Heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force" (Matthew 11:12 NASB).

It is not by might or by our human spirits, but only by the Spirit of the Lord. The Scripture declares it: "Then He said to me: 'This is the word of the LORD saying, "Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit," says the LORD of hosts'" (Zechariah 4:6 NASB).

The disciples did not just pray and sit around waiting for God to enter the "playing field" to convert the world on His own. They went out into the world so that the Holy Spirit might go into the World.

"The Lord worked with them." - Mark 16:20

We are mighty, not in our own strength, but in the Lord's power and might. It is only by the power of God's Spirit that we are enabled to overcome the schemes of the enemy. Truly we are called into the Kingdom of God for such a time as this.

BOLD, BRAVE, AND EXTREMELY COURAGEOUS

Since the moment we first came to Christ, there has been an updraft of the Holy Spirit, a constant drawing from God lifting us upward toward the fullness of His Presence. Let's surrender to this wind of God and allow Him to carry us into our holy future (our DESTINY).

Not only has Almighty God called us to be brave and courageous, but He has also commissioned us for these important days. We need to be prepared for conquest that brings about a swift and sure change. God's plan for His people is the plan of victory, not defeat (see Jeremiah 29:11). We are called and commissioned to be overcomers (see Romans 8:37). Though this may seem intimidating to some, the reality is that deep within the soul of every true Christian beats the heart of an overcomer. The word overcomer suggests a victory after a hard struggle. We are to be strong and willing warriors.

WORLD – CHANGERS

We are a part of a people God has produced to penetrate the veil of the ordinary. We are a golden, holy storehouse of God's potential. We have the life in us to liberate literally the entire world. We are to become history-makers and world-changers. God has determined the exact time of our births. Truly, each one of us is in the Kingdom for such a time as this (see Esther 4:14). We were placed on earth for a special assignment (our CALLING in Christ). (Ephesians 2:10). For Christians to endure and prevail in the battles of life, more than anything else, we must ask, knock, and seek until we understand and implement God's PURPOSE for our lives. This allows us to soar high above any of the conditions or problems of this world. This is how Paul and Silas soared in worship even when they were in a dungeon. No dungeon could hold their spirits.

Get ready for God to move you out of the confines and limitations of what you have experienced in the past.

If the things of this world are still holding us down, then we have not been transformed.

JESUS LIVING HIS LIFE THROUGH US

Ephesians 2:10 - "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

It's God's plan. Looking forward to this day, He determined that we would be great tools in His hands to fashion the Kingdom of God.

God has confidence in us. It is Him working in us, both to will and to do His good pleasure (see Philippians 2:13). And as we discover our CALLING and Gods PURPOSE for our lives, it is the Father's good pleasure for us to utilize the authority and power of His Kingdom (see Luke 12:32). These are decisive days of DESTINY. In this season we must respond, allowing the Holy Spirit to empower and equip us for lives filled and overflowing with divine power and victorious valor (see 1 John 4:4).

ALBERT FINCH MINISTRY

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acourtofthought · 1 year

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Yeah I think I need a break from anything Sjm related, especially acotar. Ever since acosf came out this fandom has become very draining.

Hopefully, I get the strenght to leave this fandom and move on from Sjm books entirely. Tricky, since I fell completely in love with some of her ships and characters but I don't like the route she takes and I honestly doupt Gwynriel and Elucien's books will be great, even though they have so much potential. Nessian had great potential too, but you saw what Sjm did with them.

Even though I've met great people here, there are also too many loud stans who scream under every comment section and post nasty tweets about others and fictional characters because they can't stand the fact that not everything and everyone will go their way. Very annoying.

My mental health has gone so bad (so much is going on in my life) I I feel a different kind of rage whenever I see an El/riel art simply because some nasty El/riels really don't deserve to have those artworks. I actually didn't have anything against El/riel but it's stans had managed to make me hate it in a total of 2 years. Also Sjm picked the worst year to release Acosf and then immediatly piss off because 2021 was when my mental health started to sink so low. Not only did I start having ship preferences but thanks to acosf I started hating some characters like Rhys, which is a struggle now because I can't read any sjm books without getting pissed whenever he shows up and I don't like it. I miss the days when I was just a casual reader enjoying my free time.

It's absolutely draining to have to defend your ship, characters and even yourself and also to calm down whenever seeing any El/riel content. I think I really need to move on from Elucien and Gwynriel first before I can truly let go of anything sjm related. I'm at least grateful and proud that I never had and would never engage in any kind of toxic behaviour. I also don't like the author and what she does with her books.. based on the interviews, livestreams, what she's written and the rumours I hear, she sounds like a mean person. Idk how I can explain it but yeah..

I'm so sorry that you've been overwhelmed with your mental health struggles but I give you credit for recognizing things that are triggering for you. And as sad as I am to see fellow Elucien / Gwynriels leave the fandom, I think it's very smart that you are prioritizing your health and well being over all else. The fandom can be entertaining and it can be enjoyable to chat back and forth about a series that's sucked us all in but, it's not real life. It's not what's going to matter when we're hopefully old and gray and surrounded by our grandchildren. At certain points we've probably gotten more invested in what happens to these characters than the author herself (considering how much time we put into thinking about them 😂) and I do think it's important to check ourselves and remember they really don't and never will exist. What is real, however, is the way you feel every day and how your feelings than translate over into your relationships with friends and family. And if ANYTHING feels like it's becoming a negative influence on that or even yourself, it is time to walk away. And maybe, when SJM releases the next book, we'll all have answers that will make the fandom a little more approachable and less toxic. We won't have to spend our time arguing what will be and can instead simply discuss what now is. I'm sending you a lot of love and positive thoughts, hoping that you find the strength to leave (if that's what is best for you) and that it gives you the peace you've been missing as of late ❤️

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heartnaya · 1 year

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Dancing with Destiny

Chapter 9

A few weeks had passed since Santana and Brittany’s first date and things were going great. Brittany loved spending time with Santana and Sophia, it was the best part of her week. As Brittany lay in bed, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander to Santana and what she might be doing. She really wanted to make things official with the woman, but she didn’t know if it was too soon. Realising that she wouldn’t be able to sleep until she figured some stuff out, she picked up the phone to call Mike.

“Hey, Brittany! What’s up ?” Mike answered his phone.

“Hi, Mike. Can you get Tina? I need both of your help with something,” Brittany said.

“Sure thing, hold on a second,” Mike said.

Brittany waited patiently as Mike called Tina over. “Hey, Brittany. What’s going on?” Tina asked.

“I need your advice, about Santana.”

“Ooo, the mysterious Santana that has been keeping you occupied for the last few weeks, what’s she like?” Tina asked curiously.

“She’s great, and she has the cutest little daughter as well,” Brittany smiled, thinking about them.

Mike and Tina exchanged a knowing look. “We’re glad stuff is working out for you finally, Britt.”

“So am I. It’s just I don’t know how to ask Santana where we are in the relationship.”

“You mean like you want her to be your girlfriend,” Tina smiled.

Brittany sounded shy. “Yes, I guess that is what I want to ask her.”

“Aww, look at our little Brittany all grown up,” Mike laughed.

“She’s gonna be married with a kid before we get there,” Tina looked at Mike pointedly.

Brittany cleared her throat. “Excuse me guys! This is about me.”

“Sorry, Britt,” they laughed. “Just talk to her about it. You could try bringing it up casually to see how she reacts.”

“That’s a good idea. I don’t want to come on too strong, but I also don’t want to wait too long and miss my chance,” Brittany said.

Mike chimed in. “Yes, it’s important to be clear with her, Britt. Remember what I told you about you and Jake and communication. If you’re ready to be in a committed relationship with Santana, then you should let her know, there really is nothing better.”

Tina smiled at Mike on the other end of the line. “Aww, you two are going to make me cry,” Brittany laughed. “Also, yea Mike what the hell are you doing, get down on one knee for god’s sake.”

“I’m working on it, Britt,” Mike laughed, putting his arm around his girlfriend.

“Well, I’ll let you go. Thanks guys, you’re the best,” Brittany said before she hung up.

Brittany lay in bed gathering her thoughts, she really did want to take her relationship with Santana to the next level. She was about to turn the lights out when she got a text. It was from some of her high school friends inviting her out, they wanted to meet Santana as she was all Brittany talked about when they got drinks the other week.

Brittany first met them because she went to a prestigious private school in Manhattan when she was younger. She never really liked it there and struggled to make friends. She eventually made a group of friends; Martin, Phillip and Toby, and her parents did not approve. It’s safe to say that these friends were a bad influence on her, they skipped class to drink or do drugs and they bullied other students. Brittany wanted to get out of the friendship, but she couldn’t go back to how it was before. When she got accepted at Julliard, she figured it was her opportunity to leave all of that behind. But she ended up dropping out of Julliard and these friends were all she had left.

When everything happened, she reconnected with Mike and Tina, two people who she had known when she was growing up, however, they had lost touch when Brittany moved to New York. Mike and Tina came back into her life when everything was falling apart, and she never felt like she needed anyone else. But Martin, Phillip and Toby still stuck with her through a lot, and even though they were probably too childish for their age, she went out with them from time to time and it was okay.

Brittany replied to the message saying that she would ask Santana and get back to them. With that done she turned off her light and finally went to sleep.

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Santana invited Brittany over later that week for dinner. She hadn’t seen her in a few days and both her and Sophia missed the bubbly blonde woman. When there was a knock at the door, Sophia got up, bouncing excitedly. Santana opened the door and was immediately pulling in for a quick but passionate kiss. “Hi, honey,” Brittany said, laughing as Santana stood with her mouth open looking shocked.

She stepped further into the apartment so she could greet Sophia. “Hey, sunshine,” she said picking up Sophia and spinning her around. “How are you?”

“I good, Britty. Been waitin’ for you!” Sophia kissed Brittany on the cheek and hugged her neck.

Santana walked back into the living room and put her hand on Brittany’s shoulder. “She really has been. She talked about you all day, I think she’s forgotten about me,” Santana laughed.

“I missed you too, Soph. But we could never forget about mama, right? Because mama is the best,” she asked, bouncing the little girl in her arms.

“Love, mama,” Sophia giggled.

Santana stood on her tip toes so she could kiss Sophia three times on her cheek, she then tilted her head to kiss Brittany three times causing Brittany to also giggle. Santana loved this, her life had changed so drastically in the last few weeks, and it was truly amazing.

Later when they had finished the dinner, Sophia was playing in her room whilst Brittany and Santana washed up.

“So some of my friends from school messaged me,” Brittany casually brought up.

“The ones that you went out with the other week. What did they want?” Santana asked.

“They wanted to know if they can meet this woman who I can’t seem to stop going on about,” Brittany smiled.

“What did you say?” Santana questioned.

“I said I would have to ask you if you wanted to meet them. I know that my friends aren’t the most mature people around, but they stuck by me through a lot,” Brittany said softly.

Santana reached and put her arms around Brittany’s neck. “Well I would love to meet them,” Brittany smiled. “But my mom is out of town right now and I don’t want to leave Sophia alone with a sitter.

Brittany laughed. “You can bring Soph. Of course she is invited, she’s the only reason I put up with you.”

“Oh really, so it has nothing to do with this then?” Santana tilted her head up and caught Brittany’s lips, she slowly started trailing kisses down over Brittany’s jaw before she sucked lightly on her neck.

When she pulled back Brittany looked dazed, and Santana giggled at how adorable she was.

When Brittany came back down to earth she looked properly at Santana. “That is amazing. But seriously, honey. We are not going to go to a bar or a club or anything, just dinner at a restaurant, my treat.”

“Brittany, you don’t have to do that for us,” Santana sighed.

Brittany touched Santana’s jaw to lift her eyes to meet her. “I know, but I really want them to meet you two.”

Santana smiled and leaned in to kiss her again. “Fine, you get your way again.”

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Brittany walked into the living room to see Sophia scribbling in her colouring book. She sat down next to the little girl running her hands through her hair. “So Soph, me and your mama were thinking you might want to watch a movie,” Brittany laughed as the girl’s eyes immediately lit up.

“Nemo, Britty!” She yelled, clearly excited.

“Okay, let me put it on. Do you think you can go and get the blanket out of the hamper, sweetie?” Brittany walked over to grab the remote from next to the tv before returning to the couch.

She smiled as she saw little Sophia trying to drag the blanket over towards her. She was about to get up to help her when Santana sat down in her lap. “What are we watching then, Britt?”

“Soph wants to watch Finding Nemo,” Brittany laughed looking at Santana’s face.

“Why am I not surprised? It’s about the 15th time in three weeks,” Santana looked at Brittany. “You know I blame you for this, I have never met someone who loves Disney movies so much.”

“Come on, babe, don’t be a spoil sport,” Brittany said frowning. “You know that Nemo is a classic.”

Santana smiled wider at her new nickname and snuggled her head into Brittany’s chest.

“Mama! My Britty!” Sophia pulled on her mother’s shirt.

Santana giggled at her daughter. Brittany poked her head out to the side so she could properly see the girl. She was the spitting image of Santana when she was scowling, and it was all kinds of adorable.

“Mama! Off!” Brittany figured she should do something before there was a full-on breakdown, so she scooped up Sophia with one of her arms and brought her round to sit on Santana’s lap.

“There you go, Soph,” Brittany smiled. “This better?”

Sophia nodded grinning before also cuddling her head into Brittany’s chest.

Brittany smiled down at both of them before switching on the movie. Halfway through she got a leg cramp, and she was about to ask Santana to shift positions before she noticed that both her and Sophia were asleep. Brittany didn’t want to wake them, but she really needed to get up, so she carefully reached around to get a firm grip, one arm under Santana’s legs and the other supporting her back, she gently lifted her up, with Sophia still sat in her lap, and placed them back on the couch. Santana immediately curled her body around her daughter and Brittany pulled out her phone to snap a quick picture.

After that she messaged her friend back to see the time and place for dinner with Santana and Sophia. She then checked the time and realised that it was eleven o’clock, no wonder Sophia was so tired. She bent down to wrap her arms around the little girl and lift her up off of Santana. She slowly carried her back into the bedroom trying not to wake her up.

After Brittany placed Sophia on the bed, she went looking around for some pyjamas for her to wear. When she went into the drawers, she saw that one side was sectioned off for Santana and the other for Sophia. She grabbed some white pyjamas with flowers on them and gently dressed Sophia. Brittany then slowly picked up the sleeping girl and put her under the covers before tucking her in and giving her a kiss on the forehead.

Brittany walked back into the living room to see Santana sitting up rubbing her eyes.

“I just put Sophia down to sleep, babe, I hope that’s okay,” She said, hoping she hadn’t overstepped.

Santana opened her arms for Brittany to crawl into. “Yea that’s okay.”

She kissed the side of Brittany’s face before slowly trailing kisses down to her jaw. Brittany felt Santana turn her over as she pressed more kisses to her jaw. She pulled back looking deep into blue eyes before leaning in, their lips met in a soft, tender embrace. The sensation was delicate and slow, each of them taking the time to explore each other’s lips. With every passing moment, their desire grew, and the kiss intensified. Their lips pressed harder against each other, and their tongues entwined.

Brittany suddenly flipped them over, so Santana was lying on her back. The warmth between them became more intense, and they lost themselves in the moment, lost in each other. Santana was breathing heavily as Brittany slowly kissed her way down her jaw and started sucking gently on her neck. They could feel the heat of each other’s body and the rhythm of each other’s breathing.

Finally, they broke apart, gasping for air. “We shouldn’t do that here,” Brittany said, still struggling to catch her breath.

“I need to tell you something,” Santana said timidly.

“What? You can tell me anything, you know that” Brittany replied.

“It’s just that it’s been a while for me,” Santana said quietly.

“Okay, that’s fine, we can take this as slow as you want,” Brittany said, leaning in to peck Santana on the lips.

Santana lay her head on Brittany’s chest as Brittany settled in the corner of the couch. “Thanks, Britt. But when I say a while, I mean a long while.”

“How long?” Brittany asked, curious.

“Since Soph was conceived.”

“So that’s like three years, right?” Brittany said casually, whilst trying to do the maths in her head.

“Yes, but there is something else,” Santana turned to face Brittany.

Brittany questioned. “Okay, what is it?”

“It’s kind of a long story,” Brittany nodded urging her to continue. “Basically, everyone in high school thought that I was kind of a slut. They thought that I slept around a lot because guys would date me and then brag afterwards about how far we got. I mean obviously I was gay and trying to hide it, so I did some stuff with guys, but nowhere near what they claimed. However, I let people believe it because it was easier than them finding out who I really was. I come from a really small town in Ohio and there was no other lesbians in my town, well at least no out lesbians. The point I’m trying to make is that I am not a virgin, obviously, I have a child, but I have never had sex with a woman before,” Santana rushed out.

Santana bit her lip nervously waiting to see Brittany’s reaction. “First of all just because you slept with some guys in high school when you were confused and figuring yourself out doesn’t make you a slut, so don’t listen to those people,” Brittany said, pulling Santana back down to lie on her chest again. “Second of all, I don’t care that you have never been with a woman before. That doesn’t make me think of you any differently. Okay, sweetheart?”

Santana tilted her head up to kiss Brittany’s jaw one more time. “Okay, babe.”

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Brittany picked them up for dinner the next Friday. When she got to the door no one answered but the door was open, so she pushed her way in.

“Santana, Soph, I’m here!”

Santana came out of the bedroom in a frenzy. “I’m looking for my earring, sorry, Britt.”

Brittany walked around the sofa to help Santana in her search. “Where was the last place you had it?”

“I don’t know,” Santana put her hand on her forehead. “Earlier in my bedroom.”

Brittany reached and pushed Santana’s hair over her shoulder. “Honey, you already have them both in.”

Santana reached up to feel her ear lobes. “Oh yea,” she laughed nervously.

“Don’t worry, babe. Everything’s going to be fine. We are just gonna have a chill evening.”

Brittany pulled her in for a kiss, mumbling against her lips. “You look beautiful by the way.”

Santana smiled at her, god she was so smitten.

“Oh, can you go check on Soph whilst I find my purse?”

“Obviously,” Brittany walked down the hallway towards Santana and Sophia’s room. She saw the little girl struggling to pull on her tights underneath her light blue dress. Brittany bent down next to her to help. “Let me do that, sweetie”

“Britty! You like my dress?”

“I love it. I think you look adorable,” she picked up the girl before sitting on the bed and pulling her onto her lap. “Do we have shoes then?”

Sophia pointed to the white ballet flats on the floor. “Mama got me new shoes.”

“These are super pretty, baby girl,” Brittany reached her hand down to the floor to grab the shoes before gently pulling them onto Sophia’s little feet.

She picked up the little girl and carried her back into the living room to see Santana quickly pulling her bag over her shoulder. “Are we ready to go then?”

“Yes, let’s go!”

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They arrived at the restaurant around thirty minutes later, Brittany had made sure that she could choose one with a kid friendly menu because she didn’t want Sophia to have to eat something she didn’t like. As she was thinking about this, she realised that she had never given her friends a heads up that Santana had a daughter, it would be okay though she thought. None of her friends had kids but they had never given the impression that they were averse to them.

When she got to the table she was greeted by Toby, probably the most mature of the friends, and his new girlfriend. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend!”

“It’s new, and it’s not exactly the kind of thing that Martin and Phillip want to talk about. Anyway, what about you and your little family, when did that happen?” He said quietly so Santana couldn’t hear as she was across the table meeting Toby’s girlfriend.

“This is also kind of new. I’m just so happy right now though.”

“Good for you, Britt. You’ve been through it,” he pulled her in for a hug.

“So have you, I’m so proud of you. We both really grew up from how we were in high school,” Brittany laughed.

“I really think that Lucy is the one,” he gestured to the woman talking to Santana. “I know, I don’t think we can say the same for Phil or Marty though. You know Martin just got fired?”

“Really? For what?”

“Coming in to work late and hungover, or worse drunk. You know the usual with him.”

Brittany sighed. Her friends had all been through a lot, but Martin and Phillip really seemed to be lost causes. Toby was probably the only one she would choose to be friends with if she met them today. Santana walked over to Brittany and took her seat putting Sophia next to her. “Your friend’s girlfriend is really sweet actually, and totally in love with him,” Santana whispered.

“It’s new apparently. I’m so glad he found someone, he’s a really great guy.”

Santana smiled. She loved meeting the people that were important to Brittany, it just meant that she was becoming a bigger part of her life and Santana really liked that idea.

The waiter came over to take their drinks orders. “What do you want, babe?” Brittany looked to Santana.

“Can I get an apple juice for Soph and just any white wine for me, thanks?”

“White wine! Get something harder than that!” A voice boomed out from behind them.

Brittany turned around to see Martin walking in followed closely by Phillip. She rolled her eyes at their behaviour already. “Sorry, honey. They’re just being idiots.”

“It’s fine, Britt. I go to college remember,” she laughed it off.

“You’re still in college, how fucking dumb are you!” Martin laughed, sitting down next to Brittany.

Santana stared daggers at the man. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t swear in front of my child,” she said as calmly as she could.

Brittany put her hand on Santana’s knee, giving her an apologetic look. “Martin, shut up!”

“Hey Britt. God you are a babe,” he laughed turning to Santana. “I swear she gets hotter every time I see her, congrats for getting to bang her,” he reached up his hand to high five Santana.

Santana looked at him, disgusted. Before she could say anything a person she could only assume was Phillip interrupted. “Mate, stop talking, let’s go get a beer.”

As they both went to the bar to order a drink, Brittany looked to Santana. “I’m so sorry about him, babe.”

Santana waved her off. “It’s fine, Britt. Maybe they’ve just never met a woman before, or a kid.”

Brittany looked over at Sophia who was happily scribbling on the back of the menu, completely oblivious to the commotion. “I’ll tell him to stop swearing in front of Sophia.”

When Martin sat back down a few minutes later Brittany leaned over to him. “Can you please stop with the swearing! Santana has a two-year-old daughter,” she whispered angrily.

“You brought a kid, Britt! We were gonna go to a bar after this!” He practically yelled.

“Shut up, Marty. We said dinner!” Toby leaned over to say.

Brittany looked at him gratefully. She was too busy focused on Martin to see Phillip walk over to Santana.

“I just wanna say, you are the hottest milf I have ever seen,” Santana shrugged off his hand, disgusted.

“Back off man! Seriously!”

He held his hands up in mock defeat and walked around to the other side of the table. The waiter brought over all of their drinks breaking up the tension. Santana reached and took a big gulp of her wine before handing Sophia her apple juice and a straw to sip it out of. After that there was a long silence, Brittany was still mad at Martin, and Phillip was unsure of what was going on.

Toby was the first to speak. “So Sophia, how old are you?”

“I’m two,” she held up two little fingers.

“Your mom says you love dance?” Brittany looked at him and mouthed a thank you for including the small girl in the conversation.

“Yep, Britty teached me. She’s the best dancer!” Sophia said with conviction.

“Brittany is a really good dance teacher. Did you know that she’s been dancing since she was your age?”

Sophia looked at Brittany in awe. “Maybe I could be like Britty then?”

“If you work at it, you can do anything you want. Brittany was always dancing around in high school, she couldn’t stay still,” Toby smiled at his friend.

Santana laughed. “I can see that. She still dances everywhere now. I bet you were super cute when you were younger, babe.”

Martin was sat at the end of the table with Phillip rolling his eyes at the conversation. “Who cares about all of this, let’s do some shots. I just got fired!”

Toby looked to Brittany as though saying, sorry, I tried.

Martin called over the waitress. “We need shots,” he looked her up and down. “And we also need your number.”

The waitress turned to Brittany. “I’ll get you guys your shots.”

Brittany looked at Santana who was scooting closer to her daughter and she felt guilty. It was probably a mistake to bring them here, but she wanted her friends to see who was making her so happy. She didn’t think about the fact that two of said friends were immature assholes who wouldn’t be great around a child.

Martin and Phillip were quiet for a while after they got their shots, leaving the others to have a pleasant conversation. Santana talked enthusiastically with Toby about her degree as he did the same course in college. Brittany loved listening to Santana talk like this, she was so passionate, and it was very hot.

It was halfway through the meal when Sophia was talking more about her dance classes and the moves she had been practicing at home that Martin started to speak up again. “Okay, okay, let’s talk about something interesting. No offense little girl.” He started laughing. “Do you remember that time in high school when we got totally wasted and drove our car into a tree.”

Toby frowned. “Shut up Martin!” He looked at Brittany as though scared to see her reaction.

Santana saw the interaction and looked towards Brittany. Her head was bowed really low, and she had a regretful look on her face. “Are you okay, babe?” Santana put her hand on Brittany’s back.

“Yea, I’m fine.”

Martin leaned closer to Brittany. “I’m sorry, Britt. I didn’t think. It’s just that your friend’s kid is just really bringing down out party mood,” he actually looked apologetic for once. Brittany looked him in the eyes angrily, warning him.

Thankfully Santana was talking to Toby, and she didn’t hear the exchange. Brittany got up to go to the bathroom after the waiter had cleared the plates. Santana wanted to follow her to see if she was okay, but she couldn’t leave Sophia alone at the table.

“Who wants to go to a club after this?” Martin said, clearly drunk.

“Hell yes!” Phillip cheered.

“I think we’re going to go home, work tomorrow and everything.” Toby looked to his girlfriend in confirmation.

“We’ll probably go home as well. I’ve got to put this one to sleep.” Sophia was pretty much passed out by now with her head in her mother’s lap.

“Come on you guys. This sucks! Toby, you won’t go out because of stupid fucking work, how boring is that. And Brittany can’t come out because she’s got a boring kid now. Just stick the kid in a damn taxi and let her make her own way home!” Martin slurred.

Toby looked at him as Santana stood up. “Martin that’s enough, you’re embarrassing yourself.”

“Toby! You know it’s true. Brittany used to be fun, we would all go out and get hammered together back in the day. But know all she cares about is her stupid girlfriend and her dumb kid, I mean who the hell cares about dance? We should have been at a club right now picking up girls!”

Santana didn’t stay to hear the rest of his rant. She picked up her stuff and lifted up Sophia heading out of the restaurant. At that moment Brittany walked back in to see all the commotion and Santana heading out. “Santana! Wait!” She reached into her purse and threw some cash at the table, looking at Toby, who nodded signalling that he would take care of it.

She ran outside to catch Santana who was starting to head down the street. “Santana, let me take you home, please.”

“No, Brittany! We’ll get a cab.”

Brittany froze. Santana was shutting her out, what had her friends said to her. “Santana, come on. I’m sorry about tonight, but please let me take you two home so I can make sure you get back safely,” Brittany begged.

Santana eventually gave in and got in Brittany’s car. It was silent all the way back to her apartment and when they got in Santana just ignored Brittany in favour of going putting Sophia to bed.

When she came back out Brittany stood up. “Santana-“

“It’s fine, Brittany. You can go,” she pointed to the door.

“Santana no, listen to me!” Brittany pleaded.

Santana’s eyes were red. “No, Brittany, you listen to me! I can’t do this.”

“What are you saying?” Tears started to run down her cheeks.

“I’m saying that you’re in your twenties, Brittany. You should be going out to bars and clubs and picking up girls. I want you to have a life, I don’t want to trap you,” Santana said quietly as she cried.

Brittany reached out to wipe the tears from the girl’s eyes, but she stepped back pushing away Brittany’s hands. She felt a sudden pang in her heart. “I don’t feel trapped by you Santana, don’t you get that.”

“You will. Eventually you will grow to resent me, and I can’t have that. You shouldn’t have to deal with this Brittany, your friends were right. Them saying it just made me realise how different our lives are. I have a child, I have responsibilities. Hell, I can’t even afford to take you out to dinner, that’s how pathetic I am.”

“Santana, I don’t care about any of that. I love spending time with you and Sophia, that is when I’m happiest. I could never resent you, how could you think that?” Brittany felt like someone was ripping out her heart, she didn’t want to lose Santana over something stupid like this.

“Maybe I care though, Brittany. Maybe I care about what people think of us. They think I’m using you or they think that I’m trying to tie you down. Everyone at dinner thought that tonight. I don’t want this to feel like that,” Santana sat down and put her head in her hands. “I want you to have the life that you always wanted. You should spend your twenties going out and partying like a normal person, and then some day you should marry someone and decide to have a child, you shouldn’t have to just be stuck with one. I don’t want you to grow to resent me.”

Brittany kneeled down in front of Santana to try and catch her eyes. “I have a daughter, Brittany. Do you know what that means?” She looked up at her. “It means that I don’t have to just protect my own heart. I have to protect hers too.”

“I would never do anything to hurt you, Santana,” Brittany reached for her hands. “I don’t want that life. I want you… I want you to be my girlfriend.”

Santana’s eyes widened in shock. “I want you to be my girlfriend, San. I want to spend days at the park with you and Soph. I want to do normal stuff like go shopping together. I want to have food fights in the kitchen with you. I want us to watch movies together where you both fall asleep on me halfway through. I want to sit in this room with you and watch Sophia draw us, all of us together. I want it all with you. Please give me that chance. Please.” Brittany pulled Santana in for a passionate kiss and as their lips met they crackled with the electricity between them.

Santana smiled into the kiss. “I want it all with you too, Britt,” she whispered onto her lips, before kissing her again. She pulled Brittany’s bottom lip into her mouth and tangled her fingers into her hair causing Brittany to gasp in pleasure.

When they broke apart, Brittany stroked her hand down Santana’s cheeks and across her lips. “God, my girlfriend is so beautiful.”

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It was later that same night when Santana and Brittany were in bed curled up together and trading kisses back and forth that Brittany spoke up.

“I want you to know everything about me, San.”

Santana leaned in and kissed Brittany once more. “I want that too, Britt.”

“I guess, I want you to know why I was so… sad at dinner.”

Santana nodded. “Of course, baby, you can tell me anything.”

Brittany started to tear up. “ I don’t want you to look at me differently though.”

Santana pulled Brittany in closer and let her rest her head on her chest. “I would never, Britt. I’m in this for the long hall, you cannot get rid of me.”

Brittany sniffled and giggled slightly. “Okay, basically, it happened in senior year of high school…”

Brittany was sat in her classroom casually scrolling through her phone when a notification came up. It was an email from Julliard. The email from Julliard. She nervously clicked on it and read the contents.

Dear Brittany S. Pierce,

We are delighted to inform you that you have been accepted for our four-year technical dance course…

“Oh my god!” Brittany jumped up.

“Miss Pierce, please sit down!” her teacher said sternly.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” She jumped up and ran out of the classroom, ignoring the yells of her teacher.

When she got outside she ran around the school to reach the steps. The steps were usually where her friends hung out in between and sometimes during classes. The first person she spotted was Toby, he was trying to get signal on his phone to check his own college acceptances.

“Toby, I got into Julliard!”

He jumped up and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. “No way, Britt. This is huge!”

Phillip got up and patted her on the back. “Congrats, Britt. You deserve it.”

Martin was over in the corner smoking. He flicked his cigarette before stepping on it and walking over to the group. “Well done, babe. I’m so glad that all of you will be following along in your parents boring footsteps and going to college.”

“What else are we supposed to do, man?” Toby looked at Martin pointedly.

“You could come travelling with me. I’m getting the hell out of New York. You’ll have to get your own rooms though. Except you, babe” Martin turned to Brittany. “My bed is always open for you.”

Brittany scoffed at him, and Phillip laughed.

“Whatever, we need to go all out tonight then. There is no more school after today and we need to relax before you all get shipped off to college.” Martin grabbed Toby’s shoulder. “Come on man, you in?”

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“We were just so stupid you know?” Brittany said, fully sobbing. “I mean, Martin had always been an idiot, but I didn’t think that anything bad would happen.”

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Later that night the group of friends met at a park. They had to be picked up there because if any of their parents saw that Martin Powell was driving! They would have never been allowed to go. He had two DUI’s already, though his father had been able to get him out of any real charges. It paid to have a lawyer as a dad.

They each took turns taking drags from the same joint and swapping around the bottle of tequila.

“This is the life,” Martin said, squeezing Brittany’s knee.

“Aren’t we going a bit fast, Marty?” Toby said. “If we get pulled over and the police are involved again, I am fucked.”

“Relax, Toby!” Martin laughed. “Britt likes it when I go fast, don’t you babe?”

He started to move his hand further up her thigh as he accelerated the car. “Martin, back the fuck off! I am not into you like that.”

“Really? I know when a girl is turned on babe. I can see it in your eyes, you want me! I know you like it when I go fast,” he put his foot down on the gas, making the car go faster.

“Marty! Fucking pay attention to the road!” Toby yelled.

“Chill man! I’ve got it!” He turned back to yell at Toby. “I’m trying to get Britt here to admit she wants me. I know you do, babe,” he moved his hands up further, going under her shirt.

Brittany aggressively pushed his hands off at the same time a truck suddenly turned the corner.

It was as though everything happened in slow motion. Martin gripped the steering wheel trying to stop the car from spinning out of control. All Brittany could hear was the sound of the trucks horn and all she could feel was her heart thumping in her chest. She reached out to try and grab onto something but all of a sudden the car smashed into a tree, and everything went black.

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Santana had her hand over her mouth in shock. “The truck came out of nowhere, San, and Martin swears he didn’t see it coming. However, I guess it’s hard to see something coming when you are going one hundred miles an hour.”

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Brittany remembered waking up a few times in the ambulance to people calling her name and flashing lights in her eyes.

She was taken into emergency surgery and had to have an operation on her knee. One of her legs had been trapped when the car hit the tree and it caused a clean break. She also had a few broken ribs, but she didn’t care about that in the moment.

Here dance career was over before it even begun, and she spent the whole night crying out for her mom.

When her parents hadn’t shown up after 14 hours Brittany started to wonder where they were. She asked the nurses and they said they had called her parents hours ago and been told they were coming right in.

It wasn’t until later that night when two police officers showed up in her room that she realised something was really wrong.

“I want my mom. Can you please get me my mom,” she sobbed out.

“Miss Pierce, we are afraid something has happened to your family.”

She felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest and someone was on the floor stomping on it. All she heard through her tears was “trying to get here” and “their own car crash” and “dead instantly.”

Brittany jumped out of her bead and pushed the police officers out of her room screaming at them to leave her. She collapsed onto the floor sobbing. In one night, everything she loved had been taken away from her and it was all her fault.

Brittany didn’t speak to anybody at the funeral. They didn’t know her parents or sister. They just worked with them. They didn’t really care about her, they felt obligated to come. She didn’t want their empty condolences or pity, she just wanted her family to come back to her.

Brittany didn’t have any close family and it didn’t matter because she could look after herself, she was eighteen. She spent every day in the cold, empty apartment where she had grown up. She slept in her baby sisters bed every single night and cried into her pillow. Her sister, Ashley, had only been seven years old. She had so much of her life left to live.

Brittany couldn’t bear to look at any pictures of her family for eight months after the accident. She didn’t have many left anyway as she had torn the place apart one night after a full bottle of vodka that she had stolen from her parent’s liquor cabinet. She then sat there crying because no one was there to yell at her anymore for getting drunk and it wasn’t even her parents liquor cabinet, it was now technically hers. She spent all night on the floor crying for her family. She just wanted her mom to hold her and tell her it would be okay, she wanted her dad to uncomfortably pat her on the shoulder and then make a silly joke and she wanted her sister to tell her stories like she always did when she was sad.

But she couldn’t have that. She didn’t have anyone.

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Santana looked at the sobbing Brittany and her heart wrenched. No one should ever have to go through something like that. She pulled Brittany into her chest and rocked her as she sobbed. “I don’t have a family anymore,” she cried into Santana’s shoulder. Santana didn’t know how to comfort her, she wasn’t prepared for how awful this was going to be.

Brittany felt guilty for putting all of this onto Santana, but she couldn’t stop crying. She didn’t know how hard it would be to tell Santana about her past and once she opened the floodgates she couldn’t stop them. Santana continued to rock her and whisper over and over again. “You are not alone, you have us. We aren’t going anywhere.”

Brittany fisted Santana’s shirt willing the tears to stop. She couldn’t let Santana see her like this, she didn’t want her to think of her as a burden. Santana had enough on her plate without all of her baggage.

Brittany thought about Jake and what Mike had said about her needing to be open with Santana. Jake hadn’t been in the car accident with her and her friends. He didn’t go to the same school. Brittany shut him out after her family died no wonder he didn’t come to the funeral. Brittany willed herself to stop her tears, but her brain wouldn’t listen. She suddenly felt a small pull on her shirt.

“Britty, cry?”

Santana looked at her tiny daughter. “Brittany will be okay, Soph, don’t worry.”

“No mama! Britty cry?”

Brittany lifted her head off of Santana’s chest and reached around to grab Sophia pulling her in between them.

Sophia put her hands on Brittany’s face and looked into her bloodshot eyes. “Why cry, Britty?”

“I’m just sad, Soph,” she didn’t want to tell Sophia something she wouldn’t understand but Santana nodded her head to Brittany as though to tell her that Sophia would be fine knowing. “My whole family died in a car accident a few years ago,” she sighed.

“Your mama?” Sophia questioned and Brittany nodded. “Your daddy?” Sophia looked curious as Brittany started crying again.

Santana pulled her tiny daughter down to lay between her and Brittany before wrapping her arm around them both. Sophia looked again at her. “S’okay, Britty. Mama and me be your family.”

Brittany looked at the little girl and kissed her on the forehead before bursting into tears again.

Santana was lost for what to do. She didn’t want to upset Brittany any further so she just pulled them both in, hoping that Brittany would feel protected and safe in her embrace.

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