#abusive samdean

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

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he hit me and it felt like a kiss (insp. @bl00dyrust)

[flowersintheimpala69]

Idk how sam keeps it together cuz personally id kms if my brotherhusband was always telling me im too violent too gentle too cold too sensitive too too much of a pansy a freak an abomination and that he loves me so much and all he wants is for me to be happy yet he hits me more often than not but it’s my fault because i fucked up and I let myself get manipulated again and it’s my fault for getting violated and that he can barely look at me I disgust him sm but if I die he’ll kill himself to be with me like how does sam handle all that

[opheliasam]

god he (dean) used to be so different my chest hurts

[panicroomsammy]

Supernatural 6.7, 4.21, 5.14, 6.6, 6.11 & Succession 1.8

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

do i ship wincest. yeah they're an inseparable pair on a narrative and thematic level, can you truly understand one without understanding the other? they're two halves of a dialectic on heroism and sacrifice. they're two points on the family trauma survivor spectrum, sometimes opposing, sometimes intersecting. they're like watching your parents who should've gotten a divorce years ago somehow stay together, against all reason. they're two inheritors of a rugged American masculinity and isolated individualism, internal and external violence springing forth. regressing to the nostalgia of frontier brotherhood as substitute for the nuclear family. they're a set of quintessential outlaw lovers. maybe true love only exists in the kind of freedom you keep when you're always moving, on the road, in your childlike bubble excluded from society, left with nowhere to burrow your roots except into each other's very being. they're the world's loneliest childhood shared between two feral dogs, one biting down on the other, unable to let go. they're the fantasy of an unconditional love so powerful it can survive the apocalyptic enormity of your own self-loathing. they're a set of matryoshka dolls, one consuming the other. journeys end in lovers meeting, but what kind of journey is it really when you've never left home: it's been sitting in the seat next to you this entire time. your haunted house is not a home but a person who'll never let go. they're an erotic fantasy of domestic horror as a sweet, sickening embrace as opposed to an all-consuming fire, a car driving off into heaven's sunset as opposed to one crashing into a tree. (wrong: they're both). so horribly enmeshed and trapped in a magnified love so destructive to the world around them they leave catherine and heathcliff wuthering heights in the dust. they're two brothers trapped in a 15 year long spiral of an abusive codependent pseudo-marriage, in part due to a network unable to let go of a successful show format, thus unable to afford them any growth that might disturb the status quo. but the implications of it all.

[inbredbrotherhood]

The way Sam sits up when Henriksen alludes to the possibility of John having molested Dean at some point is so telling. Not outright saying that John actually did do something to either of them but following along with the running undertone of CSA being a recurring trauma that Sam and Dean have both possibly experienced at the hands of their father — Dean more than Sam, however. (Sam tends to be implicated to have been molested by Dean at some point, enough that Dean holds some sort of mental power over him rather than an outright acknowledgement that both of them would be complicit in an incestuous relationship).

Also, side note: Dean is more visibly upset about being separated from Sam the he is by the accusation. He makes an expression more associated with pain than anger, but never looks disgusted by the obvious attempt to rile him as Dean is known, by Henriksen at this point, to attempt to defend his perceived innocence.

[lambmotifz]

ngl i’ll never understand the obsession spn fandom has with painting sam as an aggressive sadistic domtop (as if he wasn’t willingly submissive in most of his scenes with dean). this interpretation of his character completely ignores his trauma, his daddy issues, his fear of becoming a monster and hurting his brother, his blatant masochistic tendencies, his need to feel safe and be taken care of even though he doesn’t want to admit it because his whole life is centered around fighting for control, and his very obvious praise kink that comes from his desperate need to be good

[angel-above-time]

I can imagine dean is the type of person to get so jealous when sam leaves, that he stalks him everywhere. follows him out of the house, looks through his phone. tells people to stay away from sam, or he will kill them. gets into fights with anyone who is sams friend, because sam belongs to him, no one else. I can see dean looking through sam's computer and emails too. I bet he would delete messages from people asking sam to hang out. dean makes sure sam knows he is owned.

[shadystranger]

the scene of sam single-handedly playing corrupt lawyer for dean and absolving him of everything wrong he did was CRAZY the man legit gaslighted everyone in the room including himself

[unholytemple]

thinking about late s1 samdean when they reunite with john. (tw child abuse and violence)

it’s funny how easily they fall into the same routines. they’re back hunting together again, dean plays the part of john’s well trained lap dog, and sam is once again the outlet for john’s anger.

sam’s still just as bitchy and argumentative as he was when he was a kid, and maybe it’s the disrespect or maybe it’s the fact that he has his mother’s eyes, but john can’t stand it.

john starts hitting sam again like he did when he was a kid. dean doesn’t notice at first, but when sam has an inexplicable black eye, he finds out. and he’s pissed. dean tells sam to wait in the car while he chews out their father for hitting sam. john gets a separate motel room that night.

later, sam asks dean why now, after all this time, he decides to stand up to their father.

“you’re a grown man, sammy. dad shouldn’t be hittin’ you anymore”

sam still doesn’t understand why dean would talk back to their father over something so insignificant. not until he catches dean staring at the blue bruise on sam’s face.

sam moves from his bed to join dean on his. sam’s got that faux-innocent little brother act going and he knows dean will melt for it.

“you don’t want dad to hurt me.” dean nods, confused. “you don’t want dad to hurt me because you’re the only one who gets to do that”

sam’s close to dean. far too close, and he’s getting closer. he wants dean to see every broken blood vessel in his bruise. he wants him to see the scrape from dad’s wedding ring.

“sam-”

“you raised me. it’s your right to put your hands on me. not dad’s.”

weather dean realized this was why he was angry at john for hitting sam or not, sam was right. only dean gets to hurt sammy. not some deadbeat old man who they had to chase across the country just to get his attention.

“why don’t you show daddy who i really belong to?”

dean tried, really, but john didn’t care. he looked at sam’s mauled face with disgust.

“you’re a grown man, sam. you’re too old to be picking fights with your brother.”

now all sam has is a broken nose, split lip, a yellowing bruise over his eye, and more daddy issues than a lifetime of therapy could fix. good thing he has his big brother to take care of him

[flowersintheimpala69]

I love Dean and sam’s relationship because Dean will do something astronomically horrible to Sam and then when Sam finds out deans dosent apologize to sam and instead goes into an emo self hating spiel like “I’m the worst 😞😞😞 I’m horrible 😞😞😞 I hate myself. We got a break up😞😞” and what he wants Sam to say is “nooo babygirl ur ass so fat don’t kys no ur the best big brother” but what sam will actually say is “yea actually what u did is pretty horrible wtf” then Dean will get angry and be like “u don’t get it Sammy I HAD to kill ur friend and allow an angel to possess you and put rat poison in ur smoothies I HAD to because it was to help u!! I’m helping u can’t u see I’m helping u ur so ungrateful!!” And so sam is iced out and disregarded for like two episodes until he eventually is like “ur right Dean u did what u had to do I’m the bad guy I’m sorry” and then Dean takes sam back cuz he can’t live without his brother-husband-girlfriend but he’ll still bring the thing up years later and use it against sam and somehow frame it to make sam look bad. Nobody is doing it like them.

[opheliasam]

sam & dean + love (?) (pt.II)

Marina Tsvetaeva, Poem of the End / Richard Siken, A Primer for Small Weird Loves/ Ovid, Metamorphoses

[samdeancrimespree]

so. i’m just thinking about the way that dean protected sam from john/ hunting in general. and it’s breaking my heart a lot. in order to keep sam as safe as he could (when he had no power because he was also a fucking child), dean had to look like he was on john’s side. he ended up being the punching bag because he couldn’t trust john not to punch sam back. he chose keeping sam safe over sam being happy with him. imagine the emotional maturity that takes. he is so selfless it actually kills me. and he never blew up at sam about it. he never even resented john for it. it was just his cross to bear. and he practically begged for it, so sam wouldn’t have to help him with it. i’m so fucking sad i love you dean winchester

[according2thelore]

Uuuuuuuuu

I've been seeing alot of omegaverse asks,

If you don't mind, what are your thoughts on Alpha!Souless Sam?

Since Souless!Sam runs purely on apathetic logic, would he feel entitled to O!Dean as per his Alpha instinct or would he simple default on logic? (Because being reliant on his Alpha instinct serves no actual purpose in irl)

(Like, if he wants some action, he could just go to the nearest bar/corner and get his fix, why does he need Dean for anyway?)

hi!!!!

i cannot even express to you how excited i am to talk about this!!!!

in general, i think while a kind of detatched logic would pervade his attitude towards dean, soulless!sam has been established to be somewhat of a hedonist.

he pays for sex, he takes advantage of it whenever and wherever he can, even if it gets in the way of a case (e.g., the fairy/ufo episode). instead of picking an innocuous convenient car, he picks a flashy new model with nice amenities. he pushes sam's body into extremes of physical fitness despite it not being strictly necessary for his lifestyle.

so i think a lot of his interactions with an omega!dean would be ruled by...well...his dick. and what he thinks he's entitled to.

honestly i can see this going a lot of ways, and will discuss all of them now, lol!

path one: dean lets sam mate him as soon as he gets back

in this path, dean probably begged sam to mate him before sam jumped into the cage, but sam said no. he knew what it would do to dean, so he refused.

but as soon as dean wakes up in that shack, and sam is rightthererightthererightthere, dean is on him and they probably go at it absolutely ferocious style in that ramshackle lean-to, and dean is dripping wet and freaking out because he absolutely thinks he's dead and this is heaven.

he begs sam to mate him, and sam thinks, all-in-all, it'll probably be convenient to be able to have more of a handle on dean, whom he knows is a bit of a wild card.

in this one (assuming we're going with mating bites can communicate some kind of emotion/sense of self), the mating bite hurts. it's fucking agony, because dean is flooding sam with so much raw hurt, relief, joy, and lovelovelove and dean is getting NOTHING back.

dean has heard all this stuff about mating bites from other omegas, and from his dad especially, who when he was drunk would describe how empty his mind feels after mary died.

and this...kind of feels like that. it's no fucking fairytale, but dean doesn't need a fairytale, he needs sam, so he can deal with the rest.

he thinks so, anyway.

because sam doesn't sleep. and dean never feels anything from their bond at all. dean thinks maybe he's suppressing parts of it due to trauma, so he's even more freaked out when sam shrugs him off like 'hell wasn't even that big of a deal...so...don't remember anything ig want to get hot dogs?'

sex with sam is...empty. sam throws him around like an alpha would and only takes him from behind in a proper mating position and leaves right after.

it's like sam is reciting textbook steps on how alphas are supposed to be, and none of it is dean's little brother.

for probably the first time in dean's whole fucking life, he refuses sex. and sam...doesn't even care. he shrugs when dean finally fights him off, and goes out to a bar.

having dean's emotions so readily available is really fucking annoying for sam, but at least he can know when dean is suspicious of him. he can approximate an appropriate response when dean is feeling sad or hurt or betrayed. it takes a lot of the guesswork out of dean's reactions to things, which is helpful.

but a cunt is a cunt, and sam can fulfill his needs elsewhere.

sam would probably find it interesting when he cheats on dean. he can feel the physiological changes that come with a mating bond shattering, and picks at the open wound of his mating bite with the cool assessment of someone pulling off dragonfly wings.

he doesn't feel the agony that comes with it, of course, just the twangs in his chest, the weird chanting in his brain that this is wrongwrongwrongnotmatenotmatenothimhimhimhim

while dean is writhing back at the motel, throwing up so hard he feels like his teeth are going to fall out, sweating through his shirts and ripping at his hair just to get this thing GONE.

he knows exactly what sam is doing. knows that the thing in his brother is snapping the tethers in his mind, can almost feel the way sam's hips are slamming into some anonymous body miles away.

(secretly, in my head, i like to think that sam actually offers dean up to some locals for a night in exchange for information because he literally owns this bitch and sam knows he's not getting dick from anywhere else. the only reason it doesn't work is because the bartender gets so furious he kicks sam out and when dean comes running out like hey man what happened, sam just shrugs and says the other guys tried to start a fight.)

path two: they were mated the whole time

in this one, dean's barely alive. whether he convinced sam to mate him in the week leading up to the cage, or they were mated as soon as dean got back from hell, they're together.

which means that when sam died at the cemetery, dean's been a shell of a person for a year. he shows up on lisa's doorstep as practically a dead man, the snapped mating bond tearing his psyche into ribbons.

when sam practically kidnaps him, dean collapses into him, completely and utterly and completely at peace for the first time in a year and change. he can't believe it. his mate--his brother--is back back back back back. it's like being let above ground after a year of being chained to a rock in a cave, and dean gulps down breaths of fresh air greedily.

something's...not right, of course. sam probably takes dean to bed that night and bites on the bond, and it doesn't feel...right. not like when sam gave it to him.

i think in this scenario, sam looks at dean a lot more like property than he would otherwise. he orders him to do things. he snaps at him quick. he doesn't like that dean doesn't do what he says.

and, unfortunately, i think this would probably translate into more violent things. dean is sam's omega. his only job is to be a hole, why doesn't he fucking get it?

i think this is how dean would primarily know something is wrong with sam. sam treats him like a fleshlight. he treats dean like every knothead from here to alaska has always treated omegas like dean.

i think sam would eventually logic his way into dean not being worth the fight. if his omega has moved on, sam should too. he starts sleeping around, and we end up in the same position we do in path one.

i also think sam's alpha instinct in this scenario would irritate him the most, because it's the deepest, and he's had it the longest. he can't feel the fury that dean being hurt would usually inspire, but he feels antsy like a bodily need isn't being met.

sam's probably also the least physically satisfied in this pathway, as the line between emotional and physical satisfaction is inextricably linked through the mating bond.

when this one breaks, it's a physiological nightmare. sam doesn't understand why he sometimes passes out in the middle of the day, why he can't force his brain to focus, why his body is stuck in a constant fight-or-flight. he feels the constant need to hover over dean, so he over-corrects by avoiding him as much as possible, leaving dean to mourn a ten-year-bond completely alone. dean is a walking corpse again, deadly and furious and devastated.

he won't let sam near him for almost a year after sam gets his soul back, and the emotion of the returned soul breaks sam in half when the broken bond registers.

so not only has sam essentially been raped by his body, his one tenuous link to sanity has been severed. stone number one is their first conversation where dean touches him, and sam completely collapses. he falls at dean's feet a cries and cries and cries.

path three: they were never mated, and they don't mate

this is probably the one with the least consequences for them both, so i personally think it's the least fun, but let's still talk about it!

they can still absolutely be having non-mated sex. if this happens, sam might try to manipulate dean into mating, just so he can have that insight into dean's emotions/reactions as i mentioned in path one.

it's a chess move, but dean probably mistakes it at first as being territorial since dean just spent a year with lisa and ben. he's probably a little flattered, until sam says something "off" about it. sam also kind of presents it like getting food from burger king instead of mcdonalds. like "we can mate tonight if you like? or we can try tomorrow if you're tired."

and sam, who at age 12 tried literally biting the hand off of an alpha that cornered dean in a gas station, would literally never ask something like this, dean is like hm....something is wrong here...

sam still absolutely sleeps around, maybe even just because dean is in the shower and sam is horny. dean can't feel it per se, but smells other omegas on him.

as the season goes on, sam gets less and less interested in dean, and barely reacts at all when dean is threatened or upset or harassed by alphas in public.

or, if their feelings are still in Repression Mode, and they are, for all intents and purposes, two regular brothers, sam still gets annoyed when dean doesn't fall over to his commands.

as you mentioned, anon, alpha instinct has no logical purpose, but hierarchy does.

he remembers that dean would obey dad's orders, and as the now reigning family alpha, expects obedience. maybe this gets violent, maybe it doesn't, but he doesn't take kindly to some omega trying to get a rise out of him.

it's never to the point where sam goes, like, alpha rage, because that's not what he's about. it's annoying that a hole thinks he knows better than sam does. but if a fight doesn't fix it (i'm talking WWE smack-down full-tilt fight) then sam shrugs it off. the hole has a nice ass. and eyes that make something in sam feel...off. like the feeling of almost sneezing but not quite being able to manage it. something should be happening, for sure, but...nothing ever does.

you probably weren't looking for a 1.7k word, multi-focal analysis of how i think their established and continuing relationship dynamics would affect them but uhhh...here we go?

thank you so much for this ask, anon!!! this was super interesting and fun to think about! <3 mwah!!!!

i hope you found it fun to read :)

-lizzy

[flowers-in-the-basement]

sam resenting Dean for giving into his younger self and forming a relationship with him. Sam being disgusted at Dean for kissing him when he asked him to, because Sam was only a messed up kid and Dean was an adult. Sam wanting to tell John about their relationship that took place when Sam was too young to know better.

The therapist that he saw at Stanford was horrified at Sams recounting of his "boyfriend" Dean, who kissed him when Sam was only 12, Dean 16. Later he told his therapist that Dean was his brother, and she looked like she would cry, cry about this kid who thought that his brother loved him like his dad loved his mom. She gave him a pamphlet about sexual abuse, since Sam didn't want to talk about it much more than that.

He was so sure for so long that what Dean was doing was right, excused by their messed up childhoods and secret knowledge of monsters.

[hereditary20l8]

run from me darling you better run for your life