#act 2 el is just him being sexy and looking cool

[vanoefucks]

[youve-doomed-us-all-jerk]

man of steel watch 2023😁(long af reactions under the cut lmao copied from twitter)

fuck it you already know

still wonder what zacks plan was with the codex🤔🤔🤔was it just there to thematically be him carrying the kryptonian refugees or was there more

still crazy that zack in his unsubtle way made the villain colonizing eugenicists and people got mad at him for saying the appropriate response was killing them lol

minor thing but appreciate jor not saying anything when zod was pleading that lara abort the launch, just a look, he trusts her, feel like thats paralleled with clark and lois's relationship later, again minor but superman medias all about speeches so lmao

"his name is kal, son of el and he is beyond your reach"🥺

lara's theme is so good

the pan to his abs, zack knew the demographic he was reaching for

the worlds too big scene😭😭

if i saw a big breasted man run boobily across a lawn and steal some clothes i wouldnt snitch

he aint need to throw ross out the water like that but he uses words like dicksplash so he deserves it

😭😭😭(got nothing to say about the "maybe" scene, im tired lmao)

forgot how many emotional hits they roll out so early in the movie lmao

lmao remember when people said ludlow wouldnt try to fight clark cuz he was huge, cuz as we all know toxic masculinity definitely doesnt make men act stupid and vile lol anyway proud of clark for fucking up his truck sexual harassers deserve nothing

its her lois lane shes here

genuinely didn't know joe was clark for my first 3 views of this movie lmao

the flashlight to clarks laser eyes transition was cool(so was the pod landing in the farm transitioning to the boat crashing against a wave scene)

super buff sexy drifting doctor clark kent

fuck this nerd who sold lois out after she gave him info. zack was already laying the seeds of the media being dicks from this one blogger lmao

"and kal, that's my name "🥺

jor-el's power point presentation let's go

do remember someone in good faith(hopefully lol)saying jor was "glorifying" colonization when he spoke "fondly" of the era of expansion of krypton, and maybe fair though that could also be why he and lara chose not to escape with kal, the whole they were a part of the problem

genuinely fav supes suit I get the desire to have the ma kent suit but i cant see it anymore as anything other than him reassuring his loyalty to earth(america) to the gatekeepers, martha had a whole lifetime with him let him have one of the few connections to his culture he has

first flight😃😃😃😃

seeing this for the first time as a teen and finally understanding "you'll believe a man can fly"

no superhero media has done flying as good as this, not even bvs or zsjl theres just something about MoS's flying that makes my brain light up

don't forget lois lane figured out clarks identity(b4 he even went public) without luther or bruce's resources, smartest bestest investigator in dcu🗣🗣🗣

should they have had a younger actor play 18 yr old clark in the argument with jonathan in the car scene, maybe, though cavills teen angsty" i didnt say that!" and "you're not my dad !>:(" voice was p believable lmao

the way she drops the biggest story cuz her kindness is as big as her drive to get the truth, no wonder she's what inspires him

ngl recently heard laurence fishburne in moon girl and devil dino and the whiplash between his 2 performances lmao

seeing the butterfly trapped in the chain has new meaning now

soundtrack: *hits those mos piano notes* me everytime:

well maybe for a little bit⚰⚰⚰

you think swanwick was watching the your are not alone message and thought it was a cliche

the military people behind the glass watching these two flirt right in front of them

when he breaks the cuffs while standing up😛😏

"it did to me"

maybe love is real idk

the ship atmosphere thing was such a good way to foreshadow kryptonite lmao(yes did still take notes while my twitter was down lmao)

Jor-els fun informative power point presentation vs zod's very bad no good drug trip

clarks mind vision of himself is literally still a farmboy idk why people still think he isnt "connected to his humanity" in the iteration lmao

black suit but with no silver to symbolize pure darkness, death and to make him look the same as zod

though not to jump to zsjl but we know zack had to smuggle the black suit in with the metal padding and post color editing in that movie do wonder if he was gonna go with a totally different design if he had complete control, maybe capeless, pure metal for the silver and a beard? do also remember him teasing the long hair in one interview lmao

watching superman sink into a mountain of skulls really rewired my teenage brain since i only knew of him from pop culture at that point ngl

will say kinda funny that clark is clearly torn up about killing while lois was just blasting kryptonians blam blam🔫🔫🔫girl boss

the escaping the ship ost is so good😩why wasnt it on the official soundtrack, i know theres a good youtube ver of it but lmao

ok starting to think the jor colonization criticism wasn't in good faith cuz clark does kinda bring up the whole "do you agree with zod about wiping out humans???" thing lmao

clark saving lo in the escape pod scene got me tense af in the theater

"YOU THINK YOU CAN THREATEN MY MOTHER?!" still goes hard

do like when clark is a lil petty lmao "cranky cuz your momma didnt teach you to not be overstimulated hmm"

neat little quirk clark does in all of zacks movies, before he gets in a serious fight theres usually a shot of him clenching his fist lmao

nam-ek popped the pilot like a blueberry

faora's so cool

my man fighting for his life in this ihop in front of all his old friends too

flying really was his one advantage against these soldiers and he loses that when he fights zod too they really put him thru it on his first day😭

faora made him waste all his bullets, wait till he pulled out a knife and then pulls out a bigger one like

like to think zack having the military drone strike smallville is a parallel to when the US did it to the african village in BvS

yeah big floaty alien thing in the middle of the city may be a lil overdone now but half dont look as good as how zack did it back then

world engine sound design so sexy too😋

zacks cape porn👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

oh god🥺best scene, yes am getting emotional, scene means a lot to me

also kinda weird when zack does invoke the moses allegory people arent like "he's literally saying supes is moses!" like they do with jeezy creezy and his imagery lmao he's literally looks like he's parting the sea here lmao

in the wider snyderverse am realizing theres more moses stuff you can connect to even if the timeline is wonky and its not 1:1, obviously darkseid is the pharaoh with his whole enslavement thing, him turning supes to his side could be interpreted as ramses and moses

in this way zod, who believes in kryptons removal of "free choice" like jor and lara said, is the guard moses kills when he sees him mistreating one of his people

and the destruction of the genesis chamber and the other kryptonians being sucked back into the phantom zone could be an allegory for when god killed the first borns of egypt, no moses expert tho so could be reaching lol but fun connections, tangent i know lmao

oh also rather than a race thing it becomes more that clarks "people" are the ones who believe in free will and choice while darkseid and zods dont lmao anyway

"krypton had its chance!" still to this day lives in my mind rent free

lmao love that lois and clark are just horny for each other no matter who is watching not the military not lois's coworkers or the other survivors

zod's monologue👨🏽‍🍳👌🏽

to this day idk if i can think of a cbm fight thats topped superman vs zod, just in like raw visceral action and the fact they actually have stakes in it

thinking about how i remember shannon telling zack "as long as my suit isnt cgi i dont wanna wear those pajamas" or something and zack said yeah and then it was lol

my superman hates and constantly destroys military drones

and welcome to the planet! Glad i watched this again after so long, definitely needed that, hopefully work lets up enough for me to watch the rest of the trilogy✌🏽

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 44

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: okayyy so here it is. time passes quicker, and youll see itll be like that in the last few chapters too. i hope you like this one, i hope youll like the last few chapters. im a bit nervous so i hope it’s not too bad! oh yea and i used a manip someone made on instagram, just thought it was cool haha!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i used here but ill only post them in the next chapter because i don’t want to spoil anything!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 44 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

August 9th, 2018

That was it. We were done with an other season and I couldn't believe what we accomplished. What I accomplished. We had filmed the last scene two days ago, right on time for me to go see Niall perform in LA two nights in a row and the party organised to celebrate the end of this season was scheduled on the first night of his week off.  Everything seemed to fit perfectly together and I was happy. I was genuinely and truly happy.

"Did I tell you how much I missed you?" I heard my boyfriend whisper near my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, making a shiver cross my whole body.

"Mm yes, about a million times in the past 3 days." I replied with a chuckle, tilting my head as he pressed his lips gently on my neck.

I had missed him so much too. We had spent over a month apart and just like I expected, we were even stronger than we were before and that said a lot. We had talked every single day on facetime but it was never the same than to be able to smell him, feel him, taste him... just seeing him face to face was different than on a screen and I had no idea how i'd be able to spend an other 5 weeks separated from him.

"Okay then, did I tell you how good you look tonight?"

I laughed again and turned around in his arms, tilting my chin up to look in his eyes. We were a bit farther from the others, slightly hiding by a part of the wall, and i licked my lips, hoping no one was paying attention to us.

"I'm literally wearing an old pair of jeans that shows how big my ass is and a plain t-shirt." I pointed out. "But thank you."

As if it was a suitable answer, his hands slid from my back to my butt and he squeezed it, making me laugh again.

"I love your ass."

"And in public too?" I asked with an amused smile, my eyebrows raised. "Are you drunk?"

He chuckled and bent down to kiss my lips and i let him, feeling his warm mouth move gently and slowly against mine. No matter how many times we kissed, it always felt amazing, and no one else tasted that good.

"We should go back to the others." I pointed out in a low voice. "They're gonna start wondering where we are."

"Mm, I don't care." he whispered against my lips, making me chuckle low.

"Come on." I just replied, finally taking a step back and tilting my head on the side. "We can cuddle tonight."

We walked back in the room hand in hand and I noticed Dylan looking at us. He sent me a small smile that I answered as I tried to ignore Heidi, sitting next to him. They had been dating for longer than I thought they would and I was wondering if he still thought everything he had told me about her the last time we discussed it. I really thought it was a good thing for him to be with someone else, I just thought it sucked that she was the one he had picked. Still, it was none of my business and I couldn't stop him from inviting her to this party. After all, it was his tv show too, and I owed him a lot. I was well aware that it was more popular because he was the male lead and I knew how lucky I was to act with him.

As soon as we sat down, Heidi and Dylan got up but she left to the other side of the room and he walked to us, sitting in front of my boyfriend. I didn't know if this was about to be awkward but before we could say anything, I heard my phone and frowned. I grabbed it quickly and excused myself, knowing it was even more awkward that I left my boyfriend and my ex boyfriend together.

"Hey Louis, you're calling at a very weird moment." I just said with a smile.

"That's me specialty, love." he let out as a joke, making me chuckle. "You mom tried to call you apparently, but she couldn't reach you so she called my phone. Sweet sweet lady with an incredibly strong accent. It always surprises me."

I rolled my eyes but a smile still drew itself on my lips. "What did she want?"

"She said it was not urgent but she wanted to talk to you, make sure you're not dead or something."

I raised my nose up. "Don't joke with that."

"Sorry love, I didn't mean to bring back... that memory." he apologized after a few seconds of silence. "She doesn't know though, does she?"

"No, only you, me, Niall, and I'm guessing El?"

"Olivia, I didn't tell that to anyone, not even El." Louis admitted, making me smile fondly. "This is no one's business but yours. I promise to keep that secret forever."

"Thank you, Lou." I whispered before swallowing.

I hated to remember that moment of weakness I had, even if I knew it was part of why I was who and where I was today. I really had to hit rock bottom to kick myself up and finally breathe again. If my relationship with Niall was so strong now, it was partly because I had worked on myself and although I knew I still had work to do, I was stronger than I used to be when I first dated Niall. Of course, swallowing all the pills I could find was not my smartest or strongest moment but I was trying to forgive myself.

"Oh you want to hug me right now don't you?" Louis joked, making me laugh through my tears. "I know you!"

I laughed and wipe my eyes quickly before licking my lips. "Yea, I drank a bit too so it doesn't help. I'll text you soon, Lou."

"You better. Love you, queen."

I smiled fondly at the nickname and closed my eyes. "Love you too."

I hung up and texted my mom quickly before going back to the table. Dylan was now sitting next to Niall and it made me frown. I knew they were both a bit tipsy and I didn't want anything bad to happen between them. Gladly, I knew Niall was not into confrontation and Dylan was quite laid-back too. Plus, he was probably over me by then and if they could just accept each other's company, it would be enough for me. I didn't expect them to become close friends, of course, but It would be nice if it wasn't awkward between them anymore.

"Oh and that small.. whimper or whisper she makes when you slip your hand in her panties." I heard Niall comment before Dylan chuckled.

"Right." he agreed, shaking his head gently. "And she's always so ready too."

A tiny part of me wanted to stay and listen to what they were going to say but the part of me that was angry was definitely bigger. I took a step closer but held my breath when Dylan started talking again.

"Let's say it's different than Heidi."

"No man, I ain't going there." Niall laughed while shaking his head before taking a sip of his beer.

"No, I mean, Heidi is very sexy but it's that... that connection, you know?" I frowned and my lips parted when Niall laughed again.

"I don't want to hear about the 'connection' you had with my girlfriend, O'Brien." he pointed out, turning his almost empty beer with his fingers.

"No yea, I know. I just mean that... it's different when you love someone."

"Are you two really comparing how Heidi and I are in bed?"

Both of them jumped so high I thought they were about to fall off their chairs. I wanted to look at their reaction but I decided to focus on my boyfriend and when he turned around, his face changed and I could read fear in his eyes. I crossed my arms on my chest and shook my head, licking my lips.

"That's fucking disgusting. I don't deserve that, and Heidi doesn't either."

This time, I read surprise in Niall's eyes and glanced at Dylan who seemed as shocked as my boyfriend. Oh I still didn't like Heidi, but that didn't mean it was okay for them to discuss about how she was in bed.

"Just because both of you had the chance to fuck us both doesn't give you the right to share gossips about us." I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my anger inside and breathed in deeply. "That's fucking wrong."

I turned on my heels and left before I stopped and turned around again to look at them. "I'm mad at you both, by the way, if that wasn't clear enough."

I walked quickly to my dressing room and closed the door before holding myself against the counter, closing my eyes. I was torn between being mad that they could easily talk about me like that and being relieved that they could actually talk to each other without it being awkward. After a few minutes, I heard a knock at the door and thinking it was probably one of them, I swung the door open but my face changed when I noticed my assistant. My lips curled and I raised my eyebrows a bit surprised.

"You left quickly, are you okay?" she asked, concern written all over her face.

I made a quick head movement to incite her to walk in and closed the door behind her before we both sat down, her on the couch and me on a chair. Tinka was fairly new since my old assistant had to leave due to a pregnancy and we immediately bounded. She was gorgeous and I had to admit I was a bit jealous of her, not only for her looks but also for the way she attracted people easily and all that charisma she had probably inherited at birth, but at the same time, I felt connected to her too and I could never hate her.

"Okay so, I wanted to show you something. I mean at first I was not sure if I should, because I shouldn't have filmed it in first place, but..." she blabbed nervously before shaking her head. "I'll just show you."

She took her phone and clicked on a few things before handing it to me. I frowned, taking it cautiously before noticing she was showing me a video. I clicked on play and my eyes got bigger when I noticed Niall, sitting at the cafeteria as Heidi sat down in front of him. The first part of the conversation was hard to hear but Niall seemed confused and when she handed him a sheet of paper, I frowned again. He stared at what was written on it and finally, she put her hand on top of his and I felt my heart jump high in my throat. The second part of the conversation though, I heard it very clearly.

“You’re right. We should get back together, Niall.” Heidi said with a soft voice. “I mean, I know you’re trying to make me jealous with her but let’s be real. Who could really be jealous of her?"

This time, my heart sank in my chest and I swallowed hard. I was worth more than Heidi gave me credits for, I knew it now, but I also knew she would never see it. Perhaps, she was too busy trying to win Niall back.

“Do you even listen to yourself? You know damn well I’m with Liv and.. aren’t you with Dylan? I love her, okay! I’m not trying to make anyone jealous, I’m just trying to love her the way she deserves to be loved… the way I failed to love her the first time. And you have nothing to do with any of this. What even makes you think I want to be with you?"

I bit my bottom lip, breathing in deeply again and trying to suppress a small smile of relief when I heard my boyfriend's words. The fact that he admitted that he failed to love me right the first time made something stir in my stomach. I knew that failed relationship was not just on him, but it was nice to hear him admit that, especially to someone else.

“Because of that song! You wrote it for me and put it in one of my boxes for me to find!” she argued with him.

I saw Niall roll his eyes and his next words were as harsh as the tone he had used.

“I wrote this about Olivia! I wrote that in the first week I saw her again at the bakery after not seeing her for over a year. It isn’t about you, Heidi. It got in one of your boxes by mistake!” he let out rudely. “I love Olivia, not you. You need to let it go, okay? And those instagram posts you make.. For fuck’s sake, Heidi! What’s the point? Make me feel bad? Alright, I’m sorry I cheated on you, I should have broken up with you before and that was a mistake, okay? Now please, leave me the fuck alone.”

The video stopped but I still stared at the screen, lost in my thoughts, until Tinka talked again.

"I don't know why i recorded this, and I know I shouldn't have, I'm sorry." she apologized again. "But it was recorded anyway so I mean, why not show it to you?"

I just stared at the thumbnail of the video again before clicking on the 'delete' button and when it asked me if I was sure, I clicked on 'yes' without hesitation.

"Thanks, Tinka. I deleted it." I finally said, looking up at her before she nodded. "But thank you for showing me. Just... don't do that again, please. Niall and I we're both very... private."

I handed her her phone back just as an other knock was heard at the door. We both got up and I opened the door as she walked past Niall. He nodded at her and finally turned back to me, his hands in his pockets. I couldn't help but tilt my head, glancing down at him, telling myself once again how good he looked. I also couldn't stop thinking about the way he had told Heidi he loved me and it made me want to hug him.

"Olivia, I'm.. so sorry."

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows, expecting more than just a simple apology.

"You're right. It was so wrong, and we shouldn't have." he added, making me lick my lips. "We were literally trying to find something to talk about, and it was so awkward... the only thing we really have in common is you. But we shouldn't have."

I let my shoulders fall and sighed, raising my nose up in a grimace. "So I really make some sort of whimper when you slip your hand in my panties?"

He chuckled and took one of his hands out of his pocket to pass it in his hair. "Yea, you do. But I'm slightly jealous knowing you also whimper like that when he did it. I thought I was special."

"Oh, poor little boy thought he was special." I joked, making him grimace too. "Come here."

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him inside before closing the door behind him. He was close to me, so close I could feel the warmth of his body close to mine, and when my ass met the counter, I smiled more. He chuckled as he stared down in my eyes and shook his head slightly.

"Do you forgive me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Mm, maybe."

I felt his hand slip in my jeans and panties and my eyes fluttered slightly as my lips parted as I let lout a whimper despite myself.

"And now?" he asked, clearly amused by the effect he had on me.

"I'll tell you in a few minutes." I whispered, tilting my chin up to look at him better.

I felt two of his fingers brush gently on my clit before he slipped them inside me. I moved one of my legs up on the counter and he moved closer to me, bending down slightly until his lips were only a few inches away from mine.

"You're all mine, yea?" he whispered, making me bite my bottom lip. "Say it."

"Mm, I'm all yours Niall." I breathed out, blinking a few times. "I belong to you."

"Fuck yes you do."

He started fingering me quickly, making sure his palm was rubbing against my clit and when I felt an orgasm spread all over my body, I let my head fall back and shook slightly as he pressed his mouth against mine. I could feel his lips curl as I came and I finally got down from my high, whimpering low and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Okay, I forgive you." I whispered, kissing him deeply for a few seconds before moving my head slightly back. "Do you think that's how Dylan will want to be forgiven too?"

I laughed lightly at the face he made and I heard him groan low. "I'll kill him."

I shook my head a bit and my amused smile turned into a fond one. "You know, I never ever moaned his name." I admitted, licking my lips. "I only do that with you."

He looked happy with my confession but he still raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because... I was always scared I'd moan your name instead."

His face changed and somehow, I could read love in his eyes and it made me swallow hard. He remained silent and my lips parted again.

"I've never stopped loving you, Niall." I murmured. "I told you."

"Guess what, Olivia?" he let out in a soft tone, his eyes roaming quickly on my face. "I never stopped loving you either."

                                                      ----

August 15th, 2018

Dylan had stopped me before I left and had apologized to me profusely. He even texted me the next day to apologize again and I forgave him immediately. Maybe it was because I felt a bit guilty for not telling him about the video Tinka had showed me where his girlfriend was blatantly trying to get back with my boyfriend, but It was easy to forgive him and I knew he felt horrible about it. I was still unsure if I should tell him and at the same time, I didn't want to be the reason of their break-up, or even of a fight so I deciced to ignore it for now but that didn't stop me from feeling bad.

It was almost time for Niall to go back on tour and I felt extremely nervous about it. It had taken me about a week to decide on what I would do. I wanted to go with him but at the same time, I didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend who followed him everywhere. With time, I realized that I could follow him without going back to my old habits but I still had no idea how to tell him. He hadn't mentioned it again, probably because he didn't want to sound pushy or make me feel like I had to follow him, but my insecurity sometimes tried to make me believe it was because he didn't really want to spend so long with me.

"Why did you want me to come with you, Louis?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and turning to him as he was parking. "You know it's one of my last few days with Niall."

Louis laughed and shook his head, turning to me to look in my eyes.

"We both know you're gonna follow him on tour, Liv. Who are you trying to fool?" he said, his accent thick. "You can spend a few hours with your best friend, can't ya?"

I felt my heart skip a beat at how well Louis knew me, sometimes even better than I knew myself, and I realized that I had opened up to him like I had never opened up with anyone else besides Niall. And I didn't regret it at all.

"Yes. You're right."

"Look," he started again, turning on his seat to look at me. "I have something for you."

He searched through his pockets and handed me a well-folded piece of paper, which was surprising. Normally, anything that ended up in Louis' pocket was crumpled or crushed. I frowned a bit and took it before unfolding it gently and carefully.

"I drew it meself. Took me hours."

My lips parted as I looked at the drawing of a crown. It was pretty and he clearly had put a lot of effort into it. It was not perfect, but I thought that's what made it look even more special.

"Wow, Louis... this is..."

"I made it for you." he cut me gently. "If you wanted to get a tattoo, that is. It represents you well, don't ya think?"

I looked up in his eyes and weirdly, I could read stress, like he was not sure how i'd react. The fact that Louis always called me his queen, and that he had even written a song about me with that word made this drawing even more important for me and as soon as his eyes met mine, I knew it would be impossible for me not to get this tattoo.

"I think it represents you, actually." I explained, tilting my head and looking at him. "This tattoo will always remind me of you, and I want you to know that you're important to me, Louis. I would be dead without you. Literally."

His lips curled slightly on the right and stress disappeared from his traits.

"Now you need to draw something for me to get, too." he pointed out.

"Wait, so we're here to get you a tattoo that I would draw?" I asked as  his smile turned into a smirk.

"Exactly."

"Can it be simple? I can't draw for shit." I admitted with a grimace.

"Just draw it, give it to the artist, and I'll look at it when it's done."

I stared at him for a few seconds, feeling my heartbeats accelerate and after a while, I breathed in and out. After all, if he didn't like it, he could always get something over it, right?

It took half an hour to get the crown tattooed on my ankle but only about 10 minutes to get the smiley I had drawn for Louis. It was pretty simple with x's instead of eyes and since it was on his wrist, he kept his eyes closed the whole time to make sure it wouldn't ruin the surprise. We walked back to his car in silence about an hour later and sat down, both of us leaning against our seats.

"Is it too simple?" I asked before he turning his head my way with a smile.

"No, it's perfect."

I smiled back at him and held my hand up between us. It took him a few seconds but he finally grabbed it, intertwining his fingers with mine and squeezing my hand.

"Thank you for saving my life." I let out in a soft voice. "Literally, but also metaphorically."

"You saved mine, too."

                                                       ---

When I walked back in Niall's house... I mean, in our house... I heard him talk and frowned, trying to be quiet in case he was on the phone. I saw him in front of his laptop, just talking to the screen and it took me a few minutes to realize he was probably on a live chat on instagram. I made sure to remain silent and walked to the kitchen to gt myself a glass of wine and leaned against the counter. I listened to what he was saying from the living room, smiling and chuckling from time to time until I heard him say his goodbyes. I wanted an other minute or two, knowing Niall was the kind of person who said bye by stayed an other half an hour with his hand on the doorknob before actually leaving and when I joined him in the living room, he was getting up.

"Are you done?"

"Yes, sorry, I thought it would take you longer." he apologized, making me smile.

"No, it's all good, it's cool that you do lives for your fans." I just shrugged, joining him near the couch. "Your such a good person."

He smiled more and took the glass from my hands before placing it on the coffee table. I chuckled and he wrapped his arms around my waist, raising his eyebrows.

"And does that turn you on?"

I laughed some more. "Maybe."

He didn't answer anything. Instead, he pressed his lips against mine as his arms pulled me even closer. My eyes fluttered close as he deepened the kiss and I sighed low, feeling my body relax in his arms.

"I'm gonna miss you so much." he whispered before kissing me some more,

"I'll miss you more."

He stepped forward, forcing me to take a step back, and guided us around the couch and until the hall. I ended up hitting my back on the wall and I laughed against his lips.

"Clumsy ass." he said in the same amused tone he always said it. "I love you."

We finally ended up in our room and he closed the door with one of his feet, bringing me to the bed and quickly putting himself on top of me. I loved the feeling of his body over mine, warming me, and it always surprised me that every time, it would make a shiver cross my back. I shivered in his arms and he pulled away slightly to look in my eyes.

"How about we stay locked here until I have to take that fucking stupid plane?"

I raised my eyebrows and my lips parted before I tilted my chin up. "Don't you have somewhere to be tomorrow?"

"I canceled." he admitted, his eyes dropping to my lips before he ground his hips against mine, probably without thinking.

"For me?" I asked with a small smile.

"For us."

I brought my hands to his cheeks and let one of my thumbs brush on his bottom lip. "How many times are you gonna make love to me until you leave?"

His lips curled again and he chuckled low. "As many times as I can."

[guessmonsta]

Kuroo x Reader- Wingman

Inconsistency is key. Everything I write is for my dear friend Emily. Anyway, here’s some fun, low-key raunchy, high-key reference-y Kuroo content for everyone in quarantine rn. Stay safe and wash your hands <3

Kuroo was, at some point tonight, going to lose his mind. 

He knew showing up to Bokuto’s stupid little “house party” was going to get him in trouble one way or another. By “house party”, Bokuto meant he was going to try to cram the volleyball team starters, his roommates basketball friends, a couple of girls, and miscellaneous friends on the side into his college campus dorm room. 

It ideally didn’t sound like much fun, but he was going to take whatever chance he got to get out of his dorm. As much as Kuroo got out in high school, in college he felt bound to chemistry textbooks and volleyball practice. He liked to joke around with his friends and say it wasn’t easy being smart, athletic, and sexy, but there really wasn’t anything sexy about under eye bags and lab goggles. 

He usually showed up to Bokuto’s dorm before anyone else did. His roommate was out of town, so it was just some volleyball guys and a few others for the night. Kuroo didn’t really mind, the basketball guys were too much to handle for him right now, anyway. A cluster headache started forming behind his right eye, and he must’ve made a stank face, because Bokuto started stifling laughter from the bed across the room. 

“Do you have to go take a shit or something?” He asked, picking up a pillow from the bed and chucking it at Kuroo’s head. 

“Nah. I’m just starting to think I peaked in high school.” 

“See? This is why you should’ve majored in business like me. I keep it cool, I keep it classy. I focus on three things, volleyball, whatever business majors do, and boobs.” Bokuto made a gesture as if he was flipping hair over his shoulder. Kuroo shook his head. 

“When I come up with a cure for stupidity twenty years down the line, you’re not getting any of it.” Kuroo stuck his tongue out, and Bokuto feigned shock. 

“I thought we were bros.” 

“Bros support bros. And you’ve gotta support me through fucking-” Kuroo took a deep sigh then exhaled, “Chemistry-y.” 

“Hey listen, you sound like a big major bum right now and it’s making me wanna hit you with another pillow.” 

“Do it, I dare you.” Kuroo grabbed the pillow previously thrown at his head, and spiked it back over at Bokuto, who dodged it. 

“I’ve got some cool people coming over though.” Bokuto exclaimed while contemplating on throwing the pillow back.

“Oh, like the guy who chugged three beers in a row last time and puked all over that one girls lap? And you had to calm her down from crying because All Star started playing from Shrek on the TV and we all were holding back laughter so she wouldn’t cry harder?” 

Bokuto made a face of disgust in response. “Absolutely not. It’s just gonna be me, you, Tendou ‘cause he’s got the goods, Ushijima ‘cause he makes me think god might just be a man, Yukie ‘cause she makes me remember god is actually a woman, a couple of Yukie’s girl friends ‘cause girl power, and __ too ‘cause she didn’t come last time and I miss her.” 

__ was Kuroo and Bokuto’s mutual friend they met in their first semester of college. She sat with them during their freshman orientation course, and they hit it off from there. She was a funny thing, always had bright eyes and a smile on her face. Kuroo noticed his cluster headache wasn’t as bad as he previously thought. 

There was definitely something about her that made Kuroo wish he had time for a serious relationship. Even then, he would make all the time in the world for her if he really could. He hadn’t seen her for a couple months- his only contact with her was sharing memes back and forth on Instagram. The thought of seeing her again made something flutter in his stomach. 

“Oh wait.” Bokuto must have noticed the look on Kuroo’s face, because he started laughing. “O-oh man I forgot you had a thing for __!” 

“I haven’t seen her in forever bro.” Kuroo looked up at Bokuto and fake pouted his lower lip. “Like if I could make that one puppy eye emoji face in real life I would do it.” 

“Awh, does somebody have a cwush?” Bokuto teased in a baby voice. 

“Yes.” He replied, in the same fashion. Then a smile extended on his face. 

“Du-ude if you told me __ was coming over I would’ve made myself look nicer. I’ve been wearing the same gray joggers for like, three days.” 

“College do be doing that to you, doe.” Bokuto got up, then flopped on the couch next to Kuroo. “Listen though, I’m your number one wing man. I gotchu.” 

“Do you mean that, bro?”

“Always, bro.” 

Without knocking, Tendou burst through the dorm door, holding a big brown bag of god knows what under his arm. 

“Your king has arrived.” He announced, and Ushijima awkwardly followed in behind him, muttering a respectful, “hello.” 

“I’m sorry, did I walk in on something… intimate?” Tendou glanced over at Kuroo and Bokuto, who were sitting closely together on the couch. 

“No bro, we’re just two bros, sitting on a dorm couch, one inch apart cause we’re comfortable with our sexuality.” Kuroo winked, and Tendou clutched at his heart in mock embarrassment. 

Yukie and her friends followed soon after, all carrying different bags of chips. 

“Just so y’all know.” Yukie announced, “All this food? It’s mine. None of you can touch it.” 

“Would you trade the bag of popcorn for a brownie?” Tendou winked. Yukie tilted her head, and nodded slightly. 

“I’ll see. Our offer still stands.” 

Another widespread conversation started, something about which movie to watch this time, or something along the lines of that. He heard “Bee Movie” and “Shrek 2”, but nothing more. All he could really think about was when __ was going to show up. He felt stupid for feeling nervous about seeing her again, especially when they were always so comfortable with each other. He had to stretch to try to calm the butterflies down in his stomach. 

Then there was a knock at the door. Bokuto quickly kicked him in the shin as a sign to stand up and get the door. Kuroo shot him a look, to which he only stuck his tongue out. Why the hell did he feel nervous getting the door for her? As far as he knew, they were only friends, just buddies, just bros. But god, even if he was dying to see her, he was sure hesitant to open that door. 

One he did, he was met with a bright smile and a playful punch to the forearm. 

“Aye!” She exclaimed, quick to then pull him into a quick hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever!” 

“I know! What happened, __? What have you been up to?” Kuroo was almost hesitant to hug her back, but allowed himself to for it. His hand creeped into her hair and he allowed himself to exhale deeply. Whatever was remaining of his headache from before vanished. 

“Man, it’s been the absolute pits. I’ve been swamped with work ‘cause of the new semester.” 

“Well, I’ve-” Kuroo caught himself quick before he could continue. “Bokuto and I have missed you a lot.” 

“Awh, really?” She chuckled. “I missed your dumbasses too.” 

She set her jacket down by everyone else’s, then was quick to take a seat next to Bokuto, who already pulled her into a hug and ruffled her hair. He was saying something to her, but Kuroo didn’t hear it. There was a quiet white static in the back of his mind that was dragging him in and out of reality. “The Road To El Dorado” was playing on TV. Who’s executive decision was this, again? 

Kuroo sat down next to __, and Tendou and two of Yukie’s friends sat down too. The couch was definitely too small for six people, but somehow they were making it work. Tendou was pretty much half a person, anyway. But what Tendou didn’t have, Bokuto definitely made up for.  Kuroo then noticed that he was right up against __’s body, and it took a lot of power in him to keep his cool. She had really nice thighs, really nice thighs that were touching his. He wondered if she knew that, that she had nice thighs. It was definitely a terrible day to be wearing gray joggers. 

Kuroo then quickly assessed the situation in his head. On one side of him, there was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. She was dressed in this cute little oversized sweater and she smelled like a mix of pretty girl and coffee shop. On the other side of him, was Tendou, who didn’t nearly have half the sex appeal as __, so it was a conflicting situation for Kuroo for sure. 

“To pop a boner, or to not pop a boner, that is the question.” Kuroo thought to himself, then immediately made a face at his own thought. “Tetsurou, you’re so weird. You’re acting so weird right now.” 

Kuroo then looked over at __, who was now watching the movie with what seemed like half interest, half confusion. 

She really did look like an angel. 

“Tetsurou, do you hear yourself? Do you even hear yourself?” 

She then leaned her head against his arm, and he heard Bokuto snicker quietly, and shoot him a look. He could see his face out of the corner of his eyes, but refused to look over at him. 

“Oh my god, Tetsurou, you’re gonna pop a boner. You’re gonna pop a boner because she’s touching you and she’s so pretty- Do I go to the bathroom? Should we go to the bathroom?” 

Kuroo noticed her look up at him, and he was quick to catch her eye. 

“Is this bothering you?” She muttered. 

“Nah.” He smiled. “I get it, chicks dig these volleyball arms.” 

__ giggled quietly, and her attention was directed back to the movie. 

“Chicks dig these volleyball arms? Are you KIDDING me right now?” 

A couple more minutes passed in silence. There was a quiet mumbled conversation between Tendou and Yukie about those brownies, but Kuroo toned it out quickly. Suddenly, __ announced. 

“Y’all know what? Honestly? Tulio could get it.” 

Kuroo watched as Bokuto quickly shifted, and cleared his throat to reply, 

“Don’t you think Tulio kinda looks like Kuroo?” 

__ lifted her head up from Kuroo’s shoulder and looked at him, to which he tried to hold back a smile. Bokuto might not have been the smoothest wingman, but he made it work. 

“Oh shit, you’re right. I can see it.” 

Kuroo then sat there, saying absolutely nothing. He knew if he said something his voice would probably crack. There was nothing sexy at all about being related to a cartoon character, but it was kind of sexy that she said that he looked like a cartoon character that could get it. In some fragment of his mind, he started thinking about how she could totally get it. One of his arms slowly and inconspicuously fell between his legs. With the other, he flashed a quick peace sign and made a kissy face. 

Oh my god, he was gonna die tonight.

“__, do you think Kuroo could get it too?”

“I, for one, definitely think Kuroo could get it.” Tendou announced. Well, there goes his pants issue. 

“Thank you, bro.” Kuroo managed to spit out. 

“Kuroo could get it.” Ushijima muttered from the ground, which was the most anyone had gotten out of him all night. 

“I dunno, he’s not my type. But in the perfect world he could get it.” Yukie laughed.

“I mean shit.” __ shrugged. He wasn’t sure if it was from the lighting, or what, but Kuroo noticed her face flush red. “Yeah Kuroo could get it.” 

And pants. 

There was a wavering silence for another half hour. He was still hyper aware of her leg touching his, and every other minute detail about his setting, despite the movie. What was the movie even about, anyway?  It was about halfway through, then __ announced, 

“I have to go pee.” 

“Thank you.” Bokuto muttered in reply. 

As she stood up, Kuroo found himself grabbing her hand. 

“Hey, lemme go with you.”

“To… to pee?”

“No this, this is a guys dorm. You don’t wanna get lost going down to the general bathrooms and get caught by somebody.” Kuroo stammered slightly, but followed her out of the room. “You never know what kind of guys there are out there.”

“Awh, are you protecting me?” She cooed, bumping into his side lightly.

“Yeah. I am.” He shot her a quick smile, then looked away. His heart was pounding in his chest. This was the perfect opportunity to back her up against the wall and just kiss her, or something, but he couldn't find it in him to do it. 

People always liked to say he was the sexy friend. The attractive friend. The lady killer. The sex god. He had absolutely none of that, and it showed. 

“Hey, uhm, I hope you didn’t think it was weird when I said you could get it.” 

“Hey, hey, no offense taken.” He chuckled. “I’m just offended you weren’t serious.” 

The moment he said that, he quickly regretted it. She started laughing, but was quick to stop. 

“Wait, are you serious?” 

Kuroo then stopped walking and sighed, almost dramatically. 

“Listen.” 

“Listening.” 

He noticed her clasp her hands together underneath her baggy sweater sleeves. He inhaled sharply, then exhaled. 

“You’re really important to me. As a friend and as a human being.” Kuroo watched her sniffle, and her face go red. “I would use a stupid pickup line on you right now but I’m way too nervous. I really like you, __.” 

He watched a goofy smile spread across her cheeks. Her face only got redder as she looked down at her feet, then back up at him. 

“I never knew if you liked me or not cause you jokingly hit on everyone.” She smiled. “I like you too. I thought I made it pretty obvious.” 

“Oh my god, come here.” Kuroo then scooped her up in a hug, and placed a soft, tentative kiss on her lips. She stumbled a little bit, and he backed her up against the wall. He pulled away for a brief second to chuckle, then kissed her again, his heart slamming against his rib cage. He couldn't believe he actually did it, after all this time of pinning and waiting over her texts- 

__ then pulled away, but not before planting a soft kiss on his nose. 

“I like this a lot, Kuroo, but I still have to pee.” 

[rogueninja]

Okay so we all know who your top ships are... who are your unpopular ships? Or obscure ships? What characters from what series do you think about often in either good or bad ways? Who is a character that you hate that others love? If you could rewrite a story or part of a book, what would it be and what would you do differently?

Ok I am digging through my brain right now bc if I’m not able to hyperfixate on something then I tend to forget I even liked it. Ok buckle in bc this is gonna be long af. YOU ASKED FOR THIS, REG.

I’m putting a readmore so as not to torture my followers lol

Thinking about Veronica Mars. About Veronica/Logan. Do they have a ship name?? But I love that show and i was THERE for them. They were kind of a surprise ship for me, in that when they got together I was like, wait, WHAT? Like I was totally caught off guard. But there first kiss is, like, sooo romantic to me haha. It’s my fave scene in the show. But Logan is suck a prick sometimes. And they break up like every five minutes. And every season Logan gets accused of murder which of course he ends up not being the murderer. And they get back together eventually and I’m like really? But deep down I am rooting for them lol. I really enjoyed the new season of Veronica Mars that came out last year, actually. The ending made me SO SAD THO.

I also used to watch Supergirl and I thought Kara and Mon-El were adorable. He was very Carswell Thorne-esque, RH, I *think* you would like him. I never watched past season 3(?) though, and he shoots off into space and I never caught up so a few months ago I actually googled what happens and [spoiler] he ends up marrying someone else in the future or something so I was like, ok I’m not investing any more time in this show lol. (Also I had to google Mon-El’s name just now bc i forgot which is a bad look BUT I WAS REALLY RIDE OR DIE FOR THEM FOR A WHILE lol). Also I loved Martian Manhunter in this show, he was my favorite character. But the CGI for him was awful, omg. He had practical makeup at first, they should have just stuck with that.

Speaking of Martian Manhunter, I also used to watch Young Justice and loved Miss Martian/Superboy. Am I basic??? lol oop. But I love basic love stories. Anyway, I thought they were super cute. In season 3 though they’re kind of on the rocks. I haven’t watched season 4. I also loved Artemis/Wally West, but of course that had to end tragically.

Also, let’s talk about Nightcrawler. Allow me to set the scene. Little Kat is 13 and just rediscovered the cartoon she saw a few times as a kid called X-Men: Evolution. And thus, a weird obsession with the German, blue demon boy began. I loved Kurt Wagner. In the cartoon he starts a relationship with Amanda Sefton and I thought they were a-dor-a-ble. She accepted him for who he was, and they had a really nice healthy relationship. A lot of ppl shipped him with Kitty too which i am honestly all for idec I JUST WANT THE BLUE BOI TO BE HAPPY.

Can we talk about A:TLA too??? Like, obviously Zutara, amiright? Power couple. Like, Kataang is.. fine, but its probably my least favorite part about the ending, haha. Also, consider: Tokka. Toph is bae and can get anyone she wants, and she clearly had kind of a crush on Sokka and I think they could have been awesome. It actually kills me that they never say who Lin and Suyin’s father is in LoK. I had a whole theory that it was that kid The Duke from Jet’s band based on like 2 scenes from the series. There’s a tumblr post I made about it somewhere in the ether lol.

I also just remembered Tahnorra (Tahno/Korra) from Legend of Korra. It’s hard for me to explain this one. It’s a weird combination of being hyperfixated on the first season of the show when it came out, and I think I stumbled upon some fic or something???? And I thought Tahno was hot or something??? And FUN FACT, he was voice by Rami Malek BEFORE HE WAS COOL. So like before Rami really got big I knew who he was. He also basically played the Avatar in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 and I thought that connection was hilarious. It was kind of a problematic crack pairing but there was one author in particular whom i follow to this day hoping she’ll update her Tahnorra fics…. *sigh*

Okay one last ship…. I used to be ride or die for Outlaw Queen in Once Upon a Time (aka Regina/Robin Hood). Like, before TLC, I had a personal tumblr renaissance for that ship alone. My only existing published fanfic is for that ship. Taylor Swift’s 1989 came out that year and I related every dang song to that ship. I loved Regina so much and I just wanted her to be happy. That show is a dumpster fire, though, and spat all over my hopes and dreams. *sigh*

Also, lightning round for obscure pairings I ship and/or never talk about:

Frank Castle/Karen Page (The Punisher) ok this one isnt that obscure but I never talk about it… but the pining, oh god the pining

Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth (GoT) THEIR 5 SECONDS TOGETHER ARE THE ONLY WORTHY PART OF SEASON 8. everything after that never happened

I already listed Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye (FMAB) as a top pairing previously but I feel the need to mention it again bc it was for real my OG OTP… LIKE U WANNA TALK ABOUT PINING…. *sobs*

Percy/Annabeth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) This used to be my fave book series and i loved how their relationship developed over the course of the books

Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) ok can we TALK ABOUT THIS??? They were both badass misfits and they were perfect for each other. But noooo JKR has to announce they marry some nobodies…. this is the only change the last movie did right

Midna/Link (Zelda: Twilight Princess) I honestly have no explanation for this lol

Qui-gon Jinn and Shmi (Star Wars) CAN U IMAGINE if anakin had a proper father figure and didnt have to abandon his mother to slavery

Obi-wan/Satine…. (Star Wars: The clone Wars) we know whats up

OK, to answer some of your other questions: character I hate that others love. HMMMM…….

This one seems too easy/obvious but Professor Snape? Like obviously there’s already a ton of discourse surrounding this but he was gross, mistreated his students for years, committed atrocities, couldn’t get over his high school crush, and we’re supposed to believe he’s a hero in the end and HARRY WOULD NAME HIS SON AFTER HIM….. uh no. “Always” is gross.

I’ve literally been wracking my brain for days and I can’t think of any more characters for this. OK I did some googling and I remembered some LOL.

Ross from friends…. I literally can’t stand him. He’s so entitled and just the worst. He tries to act like he’s the nice, sensitive guy, but really he is so full of himself. Joey on the other hand is portrayed as a womanizer but is actually super sweet and I love him

Archie from Riverdale… I have only seen the first 1.5 seasons ish but he is the worst…. we’re supposed to believe he’s some easygoing musically gifted football player but instead he manages to pull off being bland as heck and actually kind of a terrible garbage person

Nick from chilling adventures of Sabrina. I hate characters that are like hitting on the main character even though she has a bf and are like dark and broody and sexy blah blah blah…. I liked Harvey way better. I never finished season 2 tho

Emma Swan from Once Upon a Time? Idk she was fine she just got old after a while

If you could rewrite a story or part of a book, what would it be and what would you do differently?

HM. First, Harry would name his son Remus Rebeus Potter LOL. Ok but real talk there was a headcanon floating around forever ago that Harry should have become a professor at Hogwarts instead of an auror and I am 100% on board

Ok, ok….. what abouuuttt…… OK, is star wars when Han and Leia get together. I like them as a couple, but the entire first half of the movie Han is being such an ass. And when they kiss the first time, he’s being SOOO creepy. It’s like so quintessentially 80s romance. and HERE’S THE THING. They actually filmed (or maybe just wrote?) a version of that scene that WASNT CREEPY. And i’m like WHY DIDNT YOU USE THAT?!? So I like to pretend that’s the version that actually happened.

This part is way harder than the shipping portion. If I think of anything else i’l dm you. I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING THIS NOVEL LENGTH POST OF ME RAMBLING ABOUT MY FIXATIONS OVER THE LAST 10 YEARS. If anyone actually read this far, you deserve a cup of hot chocolate and a blanket

[tearlessrain]

I’m about to watch Arthur and Merlin, which is free on youtube and came up in my suggestions randomly. I have no idea what it is but I am hungry for the arthurian Content so Imma watch it and see how it goes

update: it was way better than I expected and accidentally SUPER gay. that merlin tv show everyone loved was amateur hour compared to how gay this was.

“there is magic in the air, and in the water, but it has been forgotten by many in these lands” wow why does that sound familiar I wonder

the funny thing is I watched fellowship of the ring literally yesterday so this will be hilarious

but there is hope [extremely unsubtle cut to a baby who is definitely important]

now I think... and I could be wrong... but guys I suspect this baby might be the chosen one.

oh god there was no father he was conceived by midichlorians

THE SKYWALKERS HAVE INFILTRATED THE CELTS

okay place your bets is it arthur or merlin

it’s Merlin. or Merddyn rather, in a surprise twist this movie was written by Fucking Nerds

so far mild cheese aside this is surprisingly watchable

“your crops fail and so you ask the king for help, but do not help yourselves! where are your alters?? starvation is punishment for your lack of faith!” THE RNC HAS INFILTRATED THE CELTS

okay so near as I can figure out the mark is from the old gods but there’s a druid who I guess speaks for the king or something who wants them to worship different old gods and now he’s demanding the villagers make a human sacrifice and it’s gonna be Smol Merddyn.

aw no they killed Celtic Shmi. Merddyn got away though and is now wandering the Forbidden Forest

I’m mad this is actually a solid movie so far. absolutely nothing unexpected has happened but I didn’t click on a movie called “Arthur and Merlin” to be surprised

oh wait that kid who freed him was Arthur

fifteen years later arthur is... a military leader who looks strangely like one of those romans played by obviously white actors in older movies

I honestly can’t pinpoint when this movie was made on aesthetics alone

ooo some Roving Misogynists™ are here to cause trouble and assault random women for being christian. by order of the druid no doubt.

“you mock us!” “I do.” okay I’m starting to like this arthur.

oh my god is that. he just fucking. tripped over excalibur while wading in like a two foot deep pond to get this woman’s cross back for her. best interpretation ever.

wait Olwen??? as in Ysbaddaden’s daughter Olwen?? once again I assumed they’d go with Guinevere or make someone up but I forgot, this movie was made by Fucking Nerds.

okay I know insisting everything is gay is a constant thing on this site but I want to point out that Arthur has showed nothing but very platonic friendship to Olwen but this is the face he makes when he sees Merddyn in a vision

and I mean to be fair to him this is what Merddyn looks like now

goddamn

oh no they’ve immediately made it very clear that he’s Romantically Involved With Olwen In Secret Look They’re Kissing Nobody Is Gay

so now I really want to know who wrote this movie because what I’m seeing here is people who intentionally chose to use the name merddyn, and know that olwen exists, but then decided to pair her romantically with... king arthur. and culhwch just doesn’t exist I guess. not that this is the most off the wall welsh mythology ship I’ve encountered but still it’s a weird one for this kind of media even if it’s an indie film

who are you people. how did this movie get made. I mean I like whatever it is but for real how and why did you do this.

I love how there’s just this trio of random dudes who don’t even have names who are arthur/olwen’s friends. and yet somehow they’re likable and I’m rooting for them. whoever they are.

so the only real problem with this movie that’s denting my enjoyment is that nobody has names and they all have the same haircut so I lose track of who’s doing what. see these are arthur’s friends:

and these are bad guys:

and Olwen is the only person in either screenshot who has a name

if any of them ever changes into a new outfit I’m screwed.

I’m gonna be real with y’all I love me a cursed forest

in an ironic twist, excalibur is now firmly stuck in a tree trunk and arthur cannot get it out

why is this movie GOOD what the heck. I mean the druid and king situation is blatantly ripped from wormtongue and theoden but I still like. care about the king. they’ve done it well.

“I’ve already told you, I am no longer a man.” “are you so sure???” see I know nothing will happen since this is a movie not a fanfic but that line is the quintessential hate-makeout segue

THIS IS VERY HETEROSEXUAL they’ve had most of the argument while approximately that distance from each other

oh god what the fuck arthur’s friends got sacrificed by the druid just to make a point to olwen. this is the opposite of a Sacrificial Girlfriend.

they do not need to be this close to each other to argue but they keep on doing it

they’ve been on screen together for less than five minutes y’all

arthur: maybe you’re right, you are no longer a man

merlin: [conjures an entire patch of flowers for him to make... some kind of point I guess?]

okay now they’re arguing again but there’s all this “I thought I knew you” talk (which, again, it’s been five minutes) and the actors have clearly decided that their dynamic is based entirely on constant, roiling sexual tension

why does every single thing they say scan like dialogue from a slow burn enemies to friends to lovers fanfic

“the girl in the village, did you love her once?” “I know little of love” “Surely a man who can control the growth of a flower must be able to make love blossom” JUST FUCK ALREADY

this is how they’re having this conversation by the way

there was only one shrub hollow

“to control nature is one thing, but only the most powerful sorcerer could control the mind of a man- OR WOMAN,” he said, heterosexually.

y’all I’m gonna be honest I thought I was just projecting at first but this is the gayest thing I’ve seen since the baseball song in high school musical 2. this is just absolute beleg and turin levels of probably unintended but utterly blatant homosexuality. I’m so glad I decided to watch this movie and youtube was right to recommend it to me.

this movie really speaks to me because on a spiritual level I too am a mystical but irritable and socially stunted forest hermit with sexy hair just waiting for a brash but pure-hearted warrior who looks like a roman statue to draw me out of my cave with homoerotic banter. 

oh it’s not excalibur it’s... nuadu. which I guess in this movie is not the king of the tuatha de danann but a sword forged by them? see my first impulse would be to assume that the way they’re mangling everything, the writers knew nothing about Celtic folklore, except that they’ve chosen such weirdly specific things to mangle. they know their shit, they’ve just deliberately chosen to go absolutely buckwild with it.

THEY’RE DOING IT AGAIN THEY ARE INCAPABLE OF ARGUING WHILE STANDING MORE THAN TWO FEET APART

for real though character-wise this might be one of my favorite interpretations of merlin/merddyn I’ve ever seen. I feel like everyone involved was genuinely super passionate about the subject matter they were working with. like all jokes aside he’s really honestly well acted and well written.

STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS

uh oh they’ve been captured by... bandits?

oh it’s olwen’s uncle

“TO GOOD WOMEN... WHY DO YOU NOT DRINK, MERDDYN”

it is a mystery, olwen’s uncle.

a mystery.

this motivational monologue could have been so cheesy but like. I’m here for it. I would follow arthur into battle.

aw come on. olwen’s uncle betrayed them. I kinda saw it coming but dammit.

again, the druid should be absolutely stupid but he’s kind of a cool villain.

yay olwen’s uncle unbetrayed them. probably so would I if I’d seen what merddyn just did to the druid’s guys.

so the druid is trying to sacrifice ten thousand souls to raise a god from the underworld and merddyn is on the fucking warpath. and olwen’s uncle is ON BOARD HELL YEAH.

THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS TO ISENGUARD TO ISENGUARD

arthur and merddyn have escalated to clutching each other’s clothes during their heated two-feet-apart discussions

olwen is a badass in her own right like she has her own whole thing going trying to save the king from basically his own literal dementia and the druid who’s taking advantage of it, which is somehow way more compelling than just magical mind control.

“I thought the cave taught you fairness” “well... you taught me fighting” JUST KISS.

okay let’s see how they pull off this dark god on the shoestring budget they definitely have, at this point I honestly believe in them.

by avoiding showing the god entirely apparently but they made it work even with that.

aw the king has named him his heir. which again we all knew would happen but it’s still so well done.

and we end on merddyn placing the crown on arthur’s head while lovingly quoting his own words back at him, while olwen looks on with the kind of approval that implies they’ve ended up with some kind of road to el dorado situation. solid.

so I was expecting this to be absolute garbage with bad actors and checked out writers just trying to make another mediocre coattail-riding medieval fantasy movie and what I got was some weirdly good actors and writers who are clearly obsessed with celtic folklore and desperately wanted to just run amok with it for an hour and 45 minutes. and they did. they poured every ounce of their hearts and souls and tiny, tiny budget into it. and it was beautiful. 10/10

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Those Wedding Bell Blues

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Summary: marrying into the Harrington family wasn’t exactly easy, but damn was it worth it.

Word count: 15k

Warnings: FLUFF, maybe like two swear words, religion (I mentioned a church like once)

Author’s note: HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! So I have to confess, I love Steve, will always come first in my heart above Billy. So, I had planned to post this fic that I had written based on this scene from Pride and Prejudice. And then I read what I had done and saw that it needed massive editing and that it was super short. So I took a fic that I had started writing at midnight last night, edited it and the original post and combined them. So this isn’t super perfect, you can definitely see the seams of where I combined them, but it’s what you’re getting.

Tag List (If you want to be added, message me!): @steveharringtonofficial @lovelydacre @flamehairedwritings @hotstuffhargrove @itstartswithhelloo (idk if you wanted to be tagged but you are now soooooo)

FEEDBACK APPRECIATED!!!

You and Steve got married on the spring of 1991. It was massive events, the biggest in Hawkins; all because Steve’s parents refused to let their only son, the heir to the Harrington fortune and the insurance business, do anything half-assed. So, they rented the biggest space in the Hawkins area, a giant hall thirty minutes outside Hawkins and invited almost the entire town and then some. Everything was detailed and perfected, a true testament to the power of money and small town notoriety.

And you and Steve hated it.

No, you loathed it. It was a complete train wreck of an event. You had wanted something small and simple and Steve, well he would’ve been happy to have just eloped.

But that wasn’t going to fly, so on the day of you stepped into the puffy monstrosity that was your wedding dress, chosen by your mother and soon to be mother-in-law, and forced a big, lipstick laden smile for the cameras.

There were really only three moments from your wedding that you loved: 1.) coming down the aisle, 2.) your vows, and 3.) coming home from it.

Of course, every bride loves to see their soon to be spouse at the end of the aisle, but you felt especially grateful. At the end of the church hall were the people who you’d fought the forces of evil with and won, all there to support you and Steve.

Nancy, Max, El, and Kali, all itching in their puffy pink bridesmaids’ dresses, the wounds of war hiding just beyond their eyes. They all seemed peaceful, calm; the threat of war gone, finally letting them sleep. The memory of Barb floated in the air, the missing fifth person to your party. You kept her in your mind that day.

Dustin, Lucas, Mike, Will, and Jonathan, all watching with their own minds whirling, thoughts beyond the moment demanding their attention. Lucas, Mike, and Jonathan stealing glances at the girls, shy smiles and secret thoughts that made them blush and avert their eyes quickly. Dustin and Will had taken to helping Steve to find the courage to turn around, the organ beginning to play the wedding march as you and your father took the first steps into the church.

When he finally did look at you, time stood still. You watched as his face seemed to change in slow motion, the nervous looks melting into one of sheer, unfiltered love. He loved you, the feeling was impossibly more clear now. And you loved him, the last strings of doubt snapping and frittering away.

That was the moment breathtaking moment you could name. It took number one on the list.

Your vows took second. You and Steve had insisted on writing your own vows, much to his parents chagrin. They knew their son wasn’t the most remarkable writer and the idea of their friends and colleagues sitting through clumsy basketball metaphors made them both sick.

But when the time came, no such thing happened.

“Y/N, I’m not good with words, but you already know that, so here goes.” He began, earning laughs from the spectators, polite smiles and little whispers to their neighbours.

“When we met, I was a mess and I really didn’t think that I could ever fall in love again. I thought I’d be alone forever. But you never seemed to let that happen. You stuck by my side, even when I forced you to go. But you came back, you always came back. You believed in me when I was sure that no one else did. You’ve been there for me every time I’ve needed you and that’s why I love you. Well, that and a million other reasons, but anyway-”

You laughed at that, the face splitting smile you wore somehow getting unimaginably bigger.

“I promise to you now that I’m gonna do the same for you. I’m gonna be by your side at all times, in sickness and in health and all that. I love you, I really, really do.”

Steve’s vows weren’t perfect-he switched topics randomly, his wording was casual and sometimes awkward. It was messy and not fully focused. And it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard.

You loved Steve’s imperfections, all the little flaws that made him Steve. You loved his goofy smiles and his bad advice and his slight obsession with his hair. You loved how big his heart was and how self-sacrificing he was. You loved how he fought for the people he cared about and how he’d risk everything for his loved ones. You loved how he remembered the tiny details and how he just wanted to make people happy. You loved his bad writing and weak basketball metaphors.

You loved Steve.

You told him all of this with tears in your eyes, promising to always take care of him. You both cried just a little, despite Dustin’s slap on Steve’s back and whispered reminder to ‘be cool’. Steve just flipped him off for that shitty piece of advice. Who the hell tried to act cool on their wedding day?

Your vows reminded both of you of the love you shared. They were your second favourite part of the evening.

After the ceremony, everything went as well as expected. All the expected problems happened: Hopper got too drunk and made an awkward speech no one asked for, your parents fought over dinner and made everything weird, the kids (now young adults) were all hormonal and messy, and Steve grandmother passed out during the ceremony, snoring loudly during the vows.  But you saw this coming.

What you didn’t see coming was how tiring it all was. Neither Steve nor you saw how quickly the fall from married bliss to exhausted boredom would happen that evening, but it happened. No less than twenty minutes into the reception, you had muttered to Steve “Can we leave yet?” and that question was on both of your minds for the rest of the night.

When you finally got to leave, around midnight, the two of you were practically falling down tired and you had taken off her heels, carrying them as she stumbled into Steve’s car. The pair of you drove off in peaceful silence back to your apartment for the night. You didn’t leave for your honeymoon until the next afternoon, so you had that night and the next morning to recuperate from the wedding itself.

Steve still insisted on carrying you over the threshold, the heavy princess dress your mother had insisted upon got stuck in the doorframe, making the two of you laugh harder than it should have. Once inside, the process of ditching the marital trappings began. You began throwing off her expensive decorations quickly, letting the puffy veil fall to the floor and the overpriced shoes lay in a pile by the door. You stripped off the dress with Steve’s help and leaving it in a pile on the floor of their tiny living room. You were left in the expensive lingerie Nancy insisted that you needed for your wedding night. But you didn’t exactly feel sexy, though Steve was looking at you like she hung the moon, what you felt instead was intense happiness.

A smile broke onto your face, lighting up the whole room “We did it.” you muttered softly, wrapping your arms around Steve’s neck, eyes locking on his. You kissed him lightly, so softly it hardly felt like a kiss at all, almost like he’d imagined it. And everything was beautifully quiet, so peaceful and calm and dark that it felt as though the world had stopped turning entirely. Not that either of you would care, you’d be happy to sit in that never-ending bliss for the rest of time. The bliss of being newly married, the afterglow left by an evening filled with exhausting, nauseating at times, selfish and selfless, love.

“We’re married…”Steve muttered into your hair, pulling you closer and holding you tighter.

You giggled softly, running your fingers threw the ends of his hair “We’re married.” you repeated, nuzzling into the curve of his neck.

“What do I call you now?” he asked, running his hands up and down her back. You made a small noise of acknowledgement, willing him to explain himself. “I always called you Henderson, but you’re not Y/N Henderson anymore.”

“You call me Y/N.” She retorted softly, chuckling to yourself “What else are you supposed to call me? I mean it’s not like you don’t call me that anyway.”

“Not often…only when I’m happy.” Steve muttered back, lifting his chin to look at you again, as though he’d lose the image if he didn’t keep staring at you, drinking you all in.

“Well…then you should call me Mrs. Harrington when you’re happiest.” You replied, raising an eyebrow just slightly, the corners of your lips stretching farther into a smile, though it didn’t seem possible that you could smile wider.

Steve pondered this for awhile, thinking to himself of all his other options-little nicknames and pet names that all seemed to lack the bounds to describe his love and affection for you. Then he nodded a little.

“Alright, Mrs. Harrington.” He murmured before kissing his bride again.

 And again.

 And again.

That was the best moment of all, bar none. You would’ve given the whole wedding away, every good moment you had that night, just to live in that moment of sheer bliss again.

[thecreativityofthinking]

Your Lover is Your Brother

Novel Information

Title: The Mortal Instruments “City of Bones”

Author: Cassandra Clare

Published by: Ufuk Press, 2007

Genre: Mystery & Fantasy & Drama

ISBN: 978-602-8224-80-2

Total Pages: 659 pages

Language: Indonesia

Praise for Cassandra Clare

“Fantasy Thriller story which makes the reader strained” – VOYA

“Clare used predictable background, and her story is same as horror-neo gotik and modern imagination which inspired by Neil Gaiman…” – Publisher Weekly

“Wonderful adventure, many struggle and miraculous round…. This masterpiece remind us to Harry Potter.. This is a high praise!” – teensreadtoo.com, reviewer 5 stars and Gold Star Award

“Story that rounded with lightning and pushed by power and love” – Tamora Pierce

“Reader who like story town fantasy will like this adventure” – Kirkus Review

“Sharp as knife, funky, and cool! This trilogy is one of the best among monster hunter pra-Buffy. It’s a blast!” – Christopher Golden, The Myth Hunter author

“Strong plot, wonderful woman hero, and rounded with charming assistant character and good development by the author (including sexy Jace and others)” – The Bulletin of The Center for Children’s Books

Author’s Biography

Cassandra Clare was born overseas and spent her early years traveling around the world with her family and several trunks of fantasy books. Cassandra worked for several years as an entertainment journalist for the Hollywood Reporter before turning her attention to fiction. She is the author of City of Bones, the first book in the Mortal Instruments trilogy and a New York Times bestseller. Cassandra lives with her fiance and their two cats in Massachusetts. You can find her online at www.cassandraclare.com

Synopsis

When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder― much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It's hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing―not even a smear of blood―to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy? This is Clary's first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. It's also her first encounter with Jace, a Shadowhunter who looks a little like an angel and acts a lot like a jerk. Within twenty-four hours Clary is pulled into Jace's world with a vengeance, when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know... Exotic and gritty, exhilarating and utterly gripping, Cassandra Clare's ferociously entertaining fantasy takes readers on a wild ride that they will never want to end.

First Impression

I watched the movie first and didn’t know anything about the book. And I just read the book last January and find it will amazing as the movies is. I wondering how Jace and Clary story what happen next. Even though it already being series on TV but I wanted to finished the book before I watch the series.

Review

Characters:

-          Clarissa Fray

-          Jocelyn Fray

-          Jace Wayland

-          Valentine Morgensen

-          Lucian Graymark

-          Isabelle Lightwood

-          Alexander Lightwood

-          Hodge

-          Simon

-          Eric and his other band member

-          Pangborn

-          Luke’s pack

-          Magnus Bane

-          Madame Dorothea

Setting of Place: I do not know exactly where this story taken place but somewhere in New York I guess

Point of view: Reader’s or author’s point of view!

Actually I already knew everything about the storyline and how it ended and who is who yeah almost everything. But the movie and the book is quite same! Rather than any movies which adapted from book I ever seen. They picked great actor such as Jamie Campbell who played Jace (It exactly character like in the book and he is the perfect Jace). And Clary and other actor or actress are perfect for play their role for this story.

It is a  great book but the story is confusing and complex. the man like Jace is the  man i’d like to have in my side whether be my boyfriend or my brother. He is such a charming man I ever dreamed of and yes I adored him much. Oh  my Jace! And how he ended up like he love his own sister is such a shocking  even though how it revealed is quite different between book and the movie but  still it is amazing.

Still  confused with the truth and how Valentine convince me enough like i really  feel like i  had to trust him but before i take my conclusion i have to read all the  series and it will took long enough. What  Valentine said is like everything very convinced enough to put him in trust.  And how he said or how his moves, it really made me confused. There are a lot  of questions that I would like to ask like “Is what Valentine said is true?”  or “Come on! Where is the truth?” and it drives me crazy enough at first.    Isabelle and Alec were like sibling goals (because i am the only daughter of  my family). And yes i’d like to have one like them. How Isabelle worried about Alec and Jace or someone else in the family  and how they protect each other and how they made the greatest team. I love  them!! But Simon, I ever love my best friend like Simon did to Clary but it  was gone tho. And actually I always support everything that happened if their  friendship end up as lovers but this time I don’t. I support Jace and Clary  probably!

Luke is  such a hero but because i’ve just read Percy Jackson and realize this is  different Luke from the previous one (it makes me confused tho). And there are some of things like Juniper (Grover’s girlfriend) or  anything that related with Olympus God. And it drives me crazy enough like  “Okay, I already read Percy Jackson and it ended up good enough but this is  the different story”.

All of it was good but the  translate is quite formal, you know?

i still do not understand with how the titles goes, City of Bones?

Leave notes and your love will bright up my day! Have a nice day everyone!

Lots of Love, EL

[itsjii-blog]

Michael Rooker is perfection and I’m not okay with that.

Seriously.

While I s’pose society labels me a “millennial” since I was born in the 90′s, I am old-fashioned af and refuse to figure out most internet things. Like Twitter. Instagram. Snapchat. Social Media.

For the longest time, in fact, I had an old 2G phone because I didn’t think smartphones were necessary. To this day I refuse to download most apps because I just don’t understand the point of ‘em (I do nowadays use fb insta and snapity chat to keep in contact with friends).

All that to say, this Michael Rooker is doing things to me. He is what finally... FINALLY had me foraying into the great unknown called tumblr. 

Holy shit. MICHAEL ROOKER IS PERFECTION AND I’M NOT OKAY WITH THAT. 

So here is a list of me rambling about all the things that make Michael Rooker so perfect (because what else do you think about when you’re dying during pilates-on-crack class) and I’m not okay with that because there is 0% chance I could be with this guy (he’s married, not looking to be a homewrecker here lol and there’s 0.0000000000000000000001% chance I will find someone half as awesome as this)

1. His style

He has... Swag. He has this... style. His own style, his own thing, like an air of nonchalance because he dun-give-a-flying-fuck but then he gets so energetic and dorky and cute you’re just like aww omg let me hug you till you’re better (which I’ll delve further into later). He’s been through things, he’s seen things, he’s done things, so nothing really fazes him but at the same time he has this childlike giddiness to him that still allows him to enjoy all of the nuances in this mundane thing we call life. A complete badass that can whoop your ass but also a cuddly teddy bear. In a leather jacket.   

2. His dorkiness and all around adorable-ness

Which allows me to transition into... His dorky side. Omg. Like when Norman Reedus did his impression of Michael during a panel... He was soooo overly hyper with running around everywhere and doing random kicks, etc. He had his “old-timey phone” moment during one of the interviews (he was pretending to hang up a phone by setting down the receiver like an “old timey phone”). He acts all cool and quiet and mysterious but then he shows this hyperactive overly enthusiastic goofy side that just makes me laugh and smile like I’ve done lost my damn mind. He gets so damn eager and has to pipe into every little thing too (and I say that with much love, because I love hearing him talk, but just watch an interview with others he will seriously try to talk the whole time). But it just makes me go all “aww, no one’s paying attention, lemme kiss you, you adorable puppy you.” Which I’m sure is inappropriate. dammit why is he married

3. His interests: desserts, drives, and dem guns (I just wanted some alliteration, dammit)

I love his interests. Because they are my interests (throwing conventional grammar out the window, which hurts my soul slightly but who cares as I have to ramble about my love for Michael Rooker). I LOVE desserts in all forms: ice cream cookies chocolate dark chocolate covered pretzels cake donuts and just about anything fried. Basically all food in general. SO just imagine my lil’ ol’ Korean self dying on the inside when I see him eating a KOREAN dessert. My all time favorite Korean dessert (patbingsu, red bean shaved ice). Like, Mr. Rooker I can make that for you from scratch, literally). And he likes driving!! I love driving (not for commute in Vegas rush hour traffic) but like... loooong as drives. Especially when you’re on the freeway in middle-of-nowhere Texas on your way to El Paso with seriously not even a gas station around for another 200 miles. And guns (ba-bam! jarring transition). Because while I have not shot a single gun in my life, I’ve always wanted to learn how to and imagine how many touchy-feelies can be involved in learning how to shoot a goddam gun. 

4. His muscles, his voice, and hell’s bells is he a flirt

So now onto more superficial? things. Like looks, for one. I mean... Damn. For his age, damn. Like Merle Dixon? Dayum. Like Yondu? Dayum. Honestly, he looks better in his early 50′s than he did in his 30′s. I mean, I love his curly hair (how adorable) but like... dayum. Like I just can’t get the image of Merle Dixon out of my mind (because what’s sexier than a one-handed racist running around in dirty-ass clothes mmm). AND we cannot ignore those muscles. Like daaaayum. The bicep definition, dayum. Let’s go lift together. AND his voice...!! I love his voice, and I love how he just erupts into laughter. 

And hot damn is he a flirt. “Hey sexy,” “Hey hon’” (though I think that’s more of a friendly grandpa thing...) “Go ahead, baby” etc. If you watch any of his comic con panels (or any of ‘em conventions) he is so flirty with the ladies.

And I can’t wait to meet him at a panel. I already have a plan for the presents I am buying him (we are allowed to hand him presents, right???) and I’m already working on leaning out (doubles, anyone?) to get dem abs poppin’. And I’m figuring out internet things.

All for Michael Rooker a.k.a. a guy I have no chance of ever being with and actually have no desire to be with (again, not bout dat homewrecker life) but just one that I admire from afar. And in all reality, I am actually fully okay with that. 

All hail King Rooker. 

[frasier-crane-style]

Stranger Things season 2

Well, that rallied quickly. The back-half of the season is straight up fantastic, except for Episode 7 about Eleven, which comes off like a backdoor pilot for a not particularly good spin-off. Suddenly Eleven has a sister with more budget-friendly powers and she has a team of young, sexy, multiethnic sidekicks (hey, did you guys know they have a large and physically threatening black guy who is also an affectionate teddy bear of a human being? Wow!) who for some reason are helping her take revenge on the Department of Energy and also this one episode contains all of Eleven’s character development instead of anything about her and Hopper as surrogate father and daughter, which we spent so much time on and was so much more effective than this weird ‘give El something to do’ side quest. Seriously, it is teeth-grindingly bad when Eleven needs motivation and she flashbacks to dumb Dr. Brenner (seriously, prestige TV, stop bringing back villains for encores after they’ve been soundly defeated! It just cheapens them!).

-Also, I know they’re edgy badass outsider people, but seriously, y’all are making fun of a twelve-year-old. That’s not cool! What’s next, are the Dream Warriors going to make fun of a dog? Yeah, sick burn ya landed on that Schnauzer, bro! You really took that puppy down a notch!

-All of the new kids acquit themselves well, even if the concept of Max (you guys, she’s an edgy cool girl who rides a skateboard and plays video games better than the boys and has a tragic backstory and all the boys have a romantic interlude with her!) is stupid as shit. The execution redeems it, though. Even the love triangle worked well, as it was just Lucas and Max having chemistry, Dustin having a crush on Max but moving on when it became obvious she wasn’t interested, and that being that. That’s more mature than, like, any twenty-something on the CW has ever been about a love triangle. Like, I don’t think it’s the prospect of two people being attracted to the same person or one person having their affections split between two people that’s so bad, because that obviously happens in real life. It’s when the love triangle suddenly makes people act like immature jackasses or outright supervillains, like these grown-ass men and women have no idea how to control their emotions, be professional, or act maturely about their love life. That’s what makes people hate love triangles, not the Team Edward Team Jacob stuff.

-Also, was I the only one suspecting that Billy’s antipathy to Lucas was racism? It was weird, because that seemed like kinda a gimme, but he never came out and slurred Lucas, so it’s just “I hate this black kid who’s honing in on my white sister for totally unspecified and mysterious reasons!” I guess maybe they want to keep him redeemable for future stories and having him be an out and out racist strikes them as going too far, but it’s the obvious implication anyway and I think as far as these things go, a dumb teenager who’s being abused by his parents can be somewhat forgiven for that shit, as long as he realizes he was wrong and changes his ways. 

-Although, really, how many teenagers were there with six-pack abs in the eighties? I just don’t think that level of fitness was that prevalent. I mean, sure, there was Schwarzenegger and Stallone, but that’s more of a bodybuilder thing. Billy is like this, I don’t know, Edward Cullen dude. Was the ‘skinny with rock-hard abs’ look really a thing?

-I liked the ambition of the Shadow Monster/Mind Flayer, but I thought it ended up being too scattered to be really effective. I get that they were trying to avoid just having it be the Demogorgon Queen, but it felt more like a random collection of concepts than a real character. Like, what is it? A sentient virus? A collection of Demogorgons controlled by puppeteer parasites (and if so, why didn’t it take over any humans other than Will?)? A sentient cloud of dust? A bunch of vines under the earth? A giant sky-monster? Apparently it’s all those things... somehow.

-Was it just me or were there a lot of times when the music was on the verge of overwhelming the dialogue? Like, exactly as loud as the conversations people were having? Nolan can do that, show, you can’t.

-DON’T GO ALONE INTO THE DEMONIC HELL TUNNELS WHEN NO ONE KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE, IDJITS!

-Agreed with whoever said that the first scene of this season should’ve been the last scene of the season. 

-Irritating how the government conspiracy’s power level varies between ‘omnipotent’ when threatening the heroes and ‘totally useless’ when pitted against monsters. Okay, the military base in charge of guarding a portal to hell just went dark. The way the conspiracy finds out about this is that the local sheriff calls them and gets put on hold? Come on. Where are the black helicopters? Shouldn’t they be in there in thirty minutes or less, like a hot pizza on a Friday night?

-Points for this being the whole story on earth where heroes who have discovered a paranormal conspiracy reveal only the pertinent information without going into the overt craziness. Seriously, how many well-meaning protagonists has that one tripped up? “Somebody’s trying to kill me!” “We’ll help you out, miss!” “He’s a killer robot from the future!” “Ha ha, get out of here you crazy slut!”

-I rather doubt that, after a year of social interaction with Hooper, that Eleven would still have such a limited/awkward vocabulary. That seemed more like “we have to write Eleven with her patois” than how such a character would actually sound at that point in her life.

[gldngrl7]

Karamel Fic: Edging Toward Synchronicity (2/8)

Author: gldngr7

Rating: Explicit

Began: March 11, 2017

Chapters: 8

 Feedback:  Encouragement and constructive criticisms are always welcome. Flames are destroyed with my freeze breath.  Intentional Anti hate is taken as encouragement and a challenge to up my game.

 Author’s Notes:

I’m not even kidding around anymore.  This story is about a journey to intimacy and that intimacy includes heavy elements of BDSM, Dominance/submission and Daddy-kink.  If you know you’re not into that or interested in seeing more, walk away now.  Kid gloves are off, folks.

If you would like to know who to thank for this upping of my smut game, you can thank the Anti who left me a hate comment on my last story telling me that I was going to hell and that I needed to “atone for my sins” for “hating woman”.  To this Anti: If you thought I had “out-grossed” Fifty Shades of Gray before…you ain’t seen nothing yet.  Just so you know…”This was all for you, Damien.  All for you!”  Enjoy. And know that there’s so much more where this came from.  I take your hate as

Dedicated to my fam member @mon-kai-el  and dirty bitches squad (aka The Dark Side) whose dirty talk showed me that I could take the kid gloves off.  Stay thirsty, my friend.

For those of you who care…there is in fact plot.  And it moves forward and everything!

PSA:  If there are any Babysubs out there who read this and think, ‘this is me’ and you don’t know what to do.  If you want to talk, message me.  It’s important that you know this:  THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!  Not a damn thing, and don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.

  Tagging: @mon-kai-el, @actualpuppychriswood, @pwettypwita, @contygold86, @karamelizedlove, @kelbottumbles, @starcrossed-comets, @emarasmoak, @fangirlintheforest, @ships-sailing-in-the-night, @lostin-the-desert

     Hold

          Hold on

                Hold on to me

‘     Cause I’m a little unsteady

             A little unsteady

               If you love me, don’t let go

 -The Renegades – “Unsteady”

  Chapter 2/8

 “Okay, clearly I am stirring up some unresolved feelings inside you…”

 “Wait a minute,” Mon-El insists, his feet padding steadily on the treadmill at an easy two-minute-per-mile pace.  “Isn’t that what you are?  A manifestation of unresolved feelings?”

“You’re not entirely wrong.  But I meant more unresolved feelings.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you have a lot of them.”

“As evidenced by the hallucination of my dead friend.”

“Yes, and I’d really like it if we could deal with me first.  I think I‘m a little more pressing in the overall scheme.  Also, something tells me that the unresolved feelings about what just happened in there are going to take care of themselves.”

“Fine,” Mon-El capitulates.  “How can I help you?”  He rolls his eyes, utterly aware that he’s offering his assistance and his undivided attention to a figment of his imagination.

“Okay, let’s start with this.  We are cohabitating with Kara.  Now…I know there’s a lot to be happy about here.  Making your latching official—“

“Mating,” Mon-El hastily corrects.

“Pot-ay-to, po-tah-to,” Ral chuckles, disregarding the correction.

“It’s not the same,” Mon-El insists.  “Not here, it’s not.  There’s mating first, and then there’s latching…if both parties agree.  As I understand it.”

“I think we both know where this is going, Brother. Why obfuscate it?”

“Because…”

“Because she doesn’t know everything about you yet?” Ral offers.

“And when she does, this relationship will be over faster than you can say ‘liar, liar – pants on fire’.”

“Why would anyone--?”

“I don’t know.  It’s just a crazy thing they say.”

“Maybe you’re not giving her enough credit...?”  Ral shrugs.

“Our history when it comes to all things Daxam-related isn’t exactly stellar.”  Mon-El feels his tense muscles finally begin to loosen as he slips into the rhythm of his run.  Ral leans against the concrete wall in front him, his arms crossed while he strokes his chin thoughtfully.  A stance he remembers well from the times when Ral’s devious mind was pressed into service in order to extract Mon-El from some mischief in which he had inevitably found himself embroiled.  “What are you thinking about?” Mon-El asks, as if he doesn’t already know.

“She suspects something,” Ral announces.  “We’ll have to be careful in our communications.”

“I’ll leave you secret notes on the fridge,” he whispers, conspiratorially.

“Will you be serious?”

“I don’t think that’s what you really want,” Mon-El answers.

Unexpectedly, Ral’s form shifts, and the image in his mind suddenly wears the form of a once beautiful young woman, blood pouring down her face from a savagely torn scalp.  “Help me,” she begs.  Her hand, clutching a small bouquet of desert blooms, reaches out for him.  His feet falter on the treadmill, and before he can catch himself he’s face down, the moving belt spitting him off the machine like he’s a nasty tasting morsel.

When his body stops rolling, Mon-El comes to rest on his back, eyes staring up the fluorescent lamps on the ceiling.  “What in the name of Bask!” he curses.  He isn’t hurt, of course, just slightly disoriented and unable to get the sight of the woman out of his mind, as though she’s burned on his retinas. He digs his fingers into his eyes, attempting to erase the image.  Mercifully, when his eyes open, Ral is standing above him, peering down upon him.

“Very graceful,” he comments, his eyes blinking slowly as though unimpressed by Mon-El’s full-bodied impression of tumbleweed.

“Stop doing that,” Mon-El groans between gritted teeth.

“Doing what?”

“Changing into her.”

“Oh, that wasn’t me,” Ral explains, lodging his hands on his hips. “That was all you.”

“But why would I…?”

“Unresolved…blah, blah, blah,” Ral says, checking beneath his fingernails as though their cleanliness might soon be witnessed by someone of incredible import.  “Get used to it, my friend.  Something tells me it’s going to be happening more and more often.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Doesn’t it?”  Ral wonders. “It doesn’t make sense that the more secure you start to feel in this life, the more your mind might start to loosen its stranglehold on everything you’ve been keeping so tightly locked down? Seems legit to me.  Maybe J’onn was right.  Maybe you should see a Preceptor.”

“They call them therapists here.”

“Right.  That’s what I said.”

Mon-El rolls over onto his stomach before popping up to his feet. He stares down at the still-running treadmill, its low-pitched hum now sounding to him for all the world like an aggressive growl.  Done for the night, Mon-El reaches over and yanks the emergency-stop tab from the machine’s face panel, something he hadn’t had time to think about doing when he was busy falling ass-over-teakettle.  “Useless piece of shi—“

Kara walks in on what looks like Mon-El abusing and cursing the gym equipment.  She had hoped that the hour she took to run a few errands and do some shopping would have given him enough time to cool off, but just in case, she came prepared with her mea culpa.  “I really hope it’s truly the machine you’re angry at and not me,” she says, interrupting the angry glare-fest directed at the treadmill.

Mon-El spins around at the sound of her voice, finding that the Supergirl from an hour ago is gone and that Kara Danvers stands in her place, her black floral skirt and pink blouse striking the perfect balance between sexy and innocent.  He grimaces, embarrassed to be caught raging at an inanimate object.

“Though it’s better than being caught talking to a hallucination,” Ral adds to Mon-El’s thoughts.  “Go with it.”

Her brow is crinkled with concern, more for herself than for him it seems, and for some reason, she’s waving a white gym towel at him.  “Kara?”

“Are you still angry with me?” she wonders, waving the towel again. Perhaps she should have given him two hours to cool off instead of one, especially if his anger is spreading to encompass harmless gym equipment.

“What’s with the…?” he nods his head toward the towel.

“Oh!” she exclaims, realizing that he’s lacking crucial context to comprehend her display.  “It’s a white flag,” she exposits.  “Or at least it’s the best I could come up with on short notice.”

“A white flag?” he queries, curious about what lies behind this demonstration.

“In most Earth cultures,” she explains, strolling towards him, “a white flag is used to indicate surrender by one party for a battle to come to an end.  It’s also used to request mercy for the conceding party.”

Drawn to her as though she’s the center of his gravity, he moves in her direction until they meet in the middle of the room.  He knows he’s not supposed to touch her or exhibit any physical affection for her while in the DEO, but he theorizes that this policy is likely to remain a work in progress – perhaps for a bit longer than a while. “You’ve never needed a white flag to surrender to me before,” he smirks, the lids of his steel-gray eyes drifting to half-mast.

“You’ve never been this angry with me before,” she points out. “I mean, not since we…started seeing each other.”

“Seeing each other?” he muses, interest piqued by her use of the term. “That doesn’t sound quite complex enough for what’s happening between us.  Does it?”  He wants to reach for her, pull her into his embrace but twists his own gym towel between his hands instead.

“No,” she agrees, softly.  “It doesn’t.  It’s not nearly complex enough.  I just know that you’re my partner…my mate…I chose you—“ she smiles as soon as the words are out of her mouth, knowing what he’ll do next.

“I chose you,” he insists, his smile matching hers.

Her lips tingle with the need to brush against his, to feel his breath mingling with hers as though the very act charges the air around them, turning it into a renewable power source. Kara bites on her lower lip in an attempt to stifle the rush of blood there, before she opens her mouth to speak.  “Why do I get the feeling we’re going to be having this argument for a long, long time?”

Mon-El’s eyes widen, and a sadness quickly passes through them, like catching a glimpse of something in the corner of one’s eye, only to turn and find that perception mistaken.  “I hope so,” he replies.  “You have no idea how much.”

“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded,” she rushes, misinterpreting the source of his fleeting sadness.  “J’onn and I got ahead of ourselves.  We shouldn’t have been talking about you like you weren’t in the room.  Making decisions about what you should do without consulting you first.”

“Kara, look, I know that you don’t think I’ve trained enough—that I’m not ready—“

“No, but that’s not it,” she interrupts, grabbing for him, her hands on his shoulders.  “It’s your lead allergy,” she explains.  “There’s so much of it out there, and it can all be used to hurt you.  I just want to make sure you’re as protected as possible before you take on those calls, that’s all.”

“Really?”

“I couldn’t…”  She bites her lip, her eyes glancing away from him as a blush stains her cheeks.

“What is it?” he presses, cupping her cheek to turn her face back towards his.

“Remember this morning when I was worried that the DEO would send a tactical team to find you, and you joked that there were worse ways to die?”

Mon-El recalls that she hadn’t found his joke funny and had insisted they issue a moratorium on gallows humor.  “I remember,” he nods, with a shrug.  “What about it?”

“Cadmus almost killed you and…”  Her guts clench inside as she teeters on the edge of a monumental confession, just a stiff breeze away from tipping over the precipice.  A frustrated moan rises in her, slipping through her tightly pressed lips as her eyes squeeze tightly shut, “…and Medusa.”

“That was a long time ago,” Mon-El says, his voice taking on a soft, soothing tone.

“It doesn’t feel that way,” she counters.  “It feels like it just happened.  Mon-El…I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you.  If you were hurt out there, I wouldn’t be able to…”  Her confession trails off as she becomes lost in his gaze, her blue eyes rising to meet his soft gray regard.  She shakes her head, as though unable to continue, and seeing her growing discomfort, Mon-El takes over, filling the silence she left behind.

“I feel the same,” he admits.  “Every time you go out there.”

“But—“

“You’re not invincible, Kara,” he interjects.  “You can tell yourself that all you like, but that doesn’t make it true.  I know that bullets can’t hurt you like they can hurt me, but that doesn’t mean that nothing can!  And…at the risk of making you angry, you can be reckless, Kara – rushing into dangerous situations without gaining a full understanding of the risks.  I know who you are,” he insists. “I see what you can do.  But that doesn’t mean I’m ever going to stop worrying.  I understand your concerns.  I live them every day.  But you’ve never backed down when facing an enemy that could hurt you.  I don’t understand why you think I shouldn’t do the same.”

She feels her own brow crinkling as though to mirror his concerned countenance and raises a hand to rub at the overactive muscles there.  Here is a topic they’ve never really discussed, not before they became involved and not after.  Kara knows her own feelings on the matter, recalling vividly the events of the Cadmus hostage-taking and his brush with death in the form of the Medusa virus created by her own father.

Mon-El has only been in her life for a few short months and already she’s witnessed his near death on two separate occasions.  And both of those occasions occurred before.  Before she let him in.  Before she chose him.  Before she learned that she can’t breathe without him.  Long before discovering that her body sings when he touches her, when he whispers against her heated skin, and when his eyes drift down to her lips, gazing at them like they’re his salvation.

She’d kept him at such a distance then, refusing to know him, talking a good game about his potential, but really refusing to see him as anything other than a Daxamite wastrel.  She’d treated him accordingly, facing him in the direction she wanted him to go but citing his cultural upbringing each time he stepped off of her pre-approved path. Cursing the place of his birth as though it was something better forgotten to the ravages of an extinction level event, rather than a culture worthy of remembrance because of the loss of so many lives.  It wasn’t just a planet that died but billions of hearts that stopped beating, and the last heartbeat remaining, stands before her now.

And more than anything, she wants that heartbeat to endure because…because she loves him.  She loves him!  Her stomach drops to her feet, and everything inside of her freezes as her own realization paralyzes her.  Her tongue turns to hot sand, and her hands begin shaking.  She loves him, and she doesn’t have the first clue if he feels the same – if she’s out on this limb all by herself.  It’s like when she was a child, first learning to fly.  The wind would lift her, carry her for a few moments, but then the ground would come rushing, rushing up to her, and all of her efforts, all of that soaring, would be for naught.  Each attempt leading to crushing disappointment until one day she just…stopped.

Maybe she isn’t ready.

“Kara?”  Mon-El’s fingers brush against her cheek, and she flinches from it slightly, raising his distress level.  He snatches his hand from her skin, his fingers tingling as though venom were spreading through his bloodstream.

Mon-El’s voice interrupts her revelatory reflection.  Her thoughts had taken her down a bit of a rabbit hole from which she struggles to emerge.  “What?” she mutters.

“You okay, Kara?” he demands, his concern ratcheting up a few notches and filtering through the tone in his voice.

His voice brings her out of her haze, his face coming into clear, sharp focus.  His lips are tight, and his brows have snapped together to create a deep crevice between them, but the most striking thing are his eyes: so deep and fathomless, those bottomless grays that hide nothing when his thoughts center on her; the emotions floating on the surface there inscrutable to her only because of her lack of experience in this arena.  If only she could read their messages with confidence.  If only her own feelings didn’t cause her to second-guess his.

“I’m fine,” she lies, shaking off her petrification like loose tree bark.

“No, you’re not,” he contradicts.  She’s fearful suddenly, her eyes turning shiny blue, the crinkle in her forehead unmistakable to him.  “You think I don’t know how you look when something’s bothering you?”

“I don’t….” she tries but trails off.

“Are you having second thoughts?” he asks gently, assuming he’s found the root of the problem.

“Second thoughts?”

“It’s okay to change your mind,” he promises.  “I can keep staying here until I can afford to get my own place.”

“No,” she answers, violently shaking her head back and forth.  “I haven’t changed my mind.  I’m not going to change my mind.”  He’s trying not to look overly hopeful, and she can’t bear the thought of taking that hope from his eyes.  She wants him there, in her home, in her bed; promising to make breakfast in the mornings but rarely following through, leaving his pants strewn across her furniture, and putting too much soap in the washing machine.  She wants all of that.  More than, she realizes now, she has ever wanted anything in her recollection.  Her hand brushes against her belly, not enough so that he would notice but just enough to remind her.  She wants all of him.  Even the part he doesn’t know about yet.  Reaching up, she presses a kiss on his lips, quick enough that if they’re lucky, it might go unnoticed by the camera’s monitors.

“Are you sure?” he asks again.  “Because you don’t seem that certain at the moment.  You seem a little…lost.”

“I’m not lost,” she insists, staring unwaveringly in his eyes.  “I know what I want.”  Kara places a hand on his face, the pad of her thumb tracing the orbital bone of his upper cheek just beneath his eye.  “Let’s go home, Mon-El,” she whispers.

Judging the truth in her eyes, Mon-El breathes a sigh of relief and nods.  “I’ll pack my things.”

“I’ll help,” she offers.

She takes his hand as they walk out of the gym and head towards his quarters, loving the way it feels when his long, graceful fingers interlace with hers. Loving him and the way he looks at her, eyes soft and unguarded.

“So…this white flag policy,” he wonders, information gathering for future reference.  “Does it work this well for all disagreements?”

Kara laughs at what she believes to be a jest – the kind of joke he would make to see her smile.  “Why?” she teases.  “Planning on using the technique?”

The pit of his stomach roiling with the stress of confining secrets bursting toward freedom and mayhem, he forces a smile and hopes she doesn’t notice the difference.  “I have a feeling I might need to over the next few months.  I’ve heard that living together can be an adjustment.  Just…be patient with me?”

Kara squeezes his hand.  “Promise,” she vows.

In his quarters, it doesn’t take very long to pack the modest belongings in his footlocker and to grab a few other things he’s hoarded in the months since his arrival.  Kara requested a ride home from one of the SUVs in the DEO motor pool, thinking it imprudent to use any but normal means of transport in this situation.  Less than half an hour after leaving the gym, they stand in the fourth floor corridor of her loft apartment.

“I got something for you,” she announces, her hesitant smile belied by the mixture of sparkling mischief and excitement in her eyes.

“You did?” he teased, setting the footlocker down in front of the door.  “A surprise?”

Kara nods, digging around in her purse until she finds what she stashed there earlier.  She removes a Supergirl keychain with two keys attached and a tiny bow wrapped around the ring itself.  “Your keys,” she says.

Mon-El laughs but feels his heart race and his stomach flip flop, a shiver of heat racing down his spine.  “For me?” he teases.

“For you.”

“A Supergirl keychain?” he wonders.

Kara shrugs.  “They were selling them at the hardware store where I had the keys cut.  I couldn’t help myself.”

“I’ll be able to carry a piece of you wherever I go now,” he says, his storm-cloud eyes growing darker as the pupils expand right before her eyes. “Even when I can’t be near you.”

Kara finds the notion odd but still romantic.  Since their relationship became physical, when have they been unable to be near one another?  Mon-El is a romantic at heart—she’s suspected this truth for a long time—one of the many things she loves about him.  “Care to do the honors?” she suggests, indicating the door in front of them.

He nods and unlocks the door, swinging it open before bending down to pick up his chest of things.  When he stands up, his knees nearly buckle beneath him because what he sees before him isn’t the loft he’s already come to think of as a haven but a burning, exploding wreckage of the palace he escaped decades ago.  He can feel the heavy, tugging grip of hands on his shoulders but is drawn instead to the image of Ral lying on the floor, bloodied to the point of being nearly unrecognizable, his broken legs twisted grotesquely to either side of his body.

“There’s no time,” Ral rasps weakly around horribly split lips.  “You have to leave me!  I’ll only slow us both down.  You can still escape.”

He can feel the heat of its fires on his face; smell the burning flesh of victims screaming for help as they reach charred arms out for him.  His ears fill with the sounds of wordless screams as chunks of plaster and stone fall all around him, narrowly missing him as if their strikes were never meant to land.  He can feel the disturbance of the ground around him as they smash against the ground splintering into shards that fly into the air all around him.  A molten rock crashes through the crumbling palace ceiling and explodes at Ral’s feet, tearing apart the man’s body before Mon-El’s eyes and sending his remains flying in all directions.  Mon-El flinches away from the carnage he can’t un-see, and his fingers lose their grip on the box of his things.  “Ral?”

Unaware of the onset of his distress, Kara enters the loft as always, dropping her purse and keys on the kitchen island and flipping through the mail she retrieved from the mailbox downstairs on their way up.  It’s not until she’s startled by the sound of his footlocker crashing to the ground that she realizes he isn’t in the apartment with her.  The envelopes slip from her fingers when she spins back to the doorway, skittering across the flooring like shards of a broken dish.

“Mon-El?” she inquires.  He’s pale as a sheet, his eyes squeezing tightly shut as his breath comes in quick gasps. Immediately, she’s by his side.  “Mon-El, what is it?”  When his eyes open, she recognizes the thousand-yard stare, one she’d heard Eliza talk about when she was younger.  One she’s seen on J’onn’s face more than a few times.  Not wishing to startle him, she refrains from touching his trembling body, using her voice instead to shake him from his memories. “Baby?” she calls, hoping for a response.  Her voice is an approximation of cool and calm, while her insides are the exact opposite, performing frenetically like a squirrel jumping from limb to limb in a copse of trees.  “Come back to me.  Follow my voice.  I’m right here, baby.  I’m right here.  Please?” she begs.

Her plea cuts through the mayhem, finding him in the middle of his hellish landscape.  Melting the images away like hot water thrown on a still wet canvas.  Slowly, the memory fades as Kara calls for him, softly but with total resolution, her voice becoming louder and louder than the din around him.  The world comes back into focus, but it’s too late because he’s falling, falling to his knees and into her arms, taking her down with him.  “Kara?” he croaks, as though he can’t quite believe she’s truly there with him.  He can smell the violet-scent of her hair shampoo, and he clings to that like it’s the lone piece of driftwood in a raging river.

“I’m here,” she whispers into his neck, wrapping her arms around him, stroking his spine with long, soothing strokes.  “I’ve got you.”

“What happened?” he asks, everything spinning around him.  “I was…” His breath comes hard and fast, on the verge of hyperventilation.  “I was…”  He chokes on the words and the air around him.  When he opens his eyes again the world whites out, becoming obscenely bright as though a flashbulb has gone off in his face.  He slams his eyes shut to block it out, seeing the negative imprint of her and the loft on the back of his eyelids.

“You were there,” she hypothesizes, her voice shaking, a bit of fear seeping through.  “Is that right?  You were there?”

Eyes still shut, he nods into her hair.

“It’s okay,” she promises.  “I’m here.  I know what’s happening to you.  You’re going to be all right.  Just breathe.”

Slowly, in excruciating increments, he comes back to himself, back to this place, to her arms, opening his eyes to see everything as he’s come to know it.  She wipes her fingers across his cheeks; erasing tears he hasn’t realized are falling. His heart still races in his chest, and a fine sheen of perspiration has broken out on his face, as well as down his neck and chest.

“Talk to me,” she begs, her voice barely above a whisper.  “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” he confesses.  “I opened the door, but instead of your apartment it was…”

“Daxam?”

“Yes.  That day. There was screaming and fire and so much…screaming and the smell…”

“And you mentioned something,” she presses, gently.  “A name…maybe?  Ral?”

Mon-El remembers and like a flash, the pain sears through his head, his vision going off like a flash bulb again for a split second.  He presses the heels of his palms against his temples. “Ahhhhh,” he moans, the pain streaking through him like an overload of electricity.

“It’s okay,” she declares.  Something is triggering him, and the memories cause real, physical pain as they emerge.  Like an infected boil in need of lancing, his memories require purging if he’s ever to process his grief.  Her gut twists inside at the knowledge of what she needs to do.  “I know it hurts,” she says.  “Just tell me one thing.  Who was Ral? Was he there with you?”

“Yes,” he groans.  “Everything was collapsing around us, the world was ending, and all he wanted was to see me safe.”

“Why?” she wonders.  “Who was he to you?”

“He’s my…he’s my…brother-in-bond,” Mon-El confesses, the pain easing slightly, the tightness in his chest loosening.

Kara shakes her head.  “I don’t understand,” she tells him.  “What does that mean?  Your brother by blood?”

The stabbing pain in his head turns into a dull but insistent throb as he shakes his head.  His breathing, at last, returns to normal, his voice dropping in pitch as though his vocal chords are exhausted.  “Not by blood.  There’s a word for it here, but I can’t…step!” he proclaims. “Stepbrother.  Is that right?  Step? I can’t think straight.”

“Ral was your stepbrother?”

“Yes,” he says, breathing a sigh of relief as the muscles in his neck and shoulders release some of the rock hard tension they’ve been holding. “His mother married my…father when we were just small boys.  I was six, and he was seven.”

It strikes her then, like a heavy mallet against a gong, that he’s never mourned the loss of an individual to her knowledge.  It all seems so vast, the loss of an entire world and everything that a person can identify with, that it’s hard to see the personal loss sometimes.  He’s never mentioned his family or even any friends, and, to her shame, she’s never asked. “You can talk about him, you know,” she reminds him.  “You can talk about…any of them.  You probably need to.”

Mon-El’s eyes meet hers, finally, and the deep, incalculable grief in them shreds at her heart.  “I don’t want you to think I’m weak,” he confesses, shame written plainly across her face.

“Mon-El, I would never think that!” she replies, shocked and saddened at the direction of his thoughts. She pulls him into her embrace, wrapping her arms around him with bone-crushing strength.  But instead of cringing at her power, his body melts into the hug as though allowing himself to be absorbed by her.

He wants to spill everything, all of his secrets and believe from the bottom of his heart that she will understand – that she won’t be angered by it, or worse – sickened by him.  Surviving the destruction of his world would be easy in comparison to watching the affection in her sparkling eyes turn to abhorrence.  But he’s a coward.  He always has been, and he’ll never be anything more, no matter how strong or fast his body is now or how impenetrable his skin.

Mon-El withdraws from the comfort of her embrace, undeserving of such sweet succor and casts his eyes about the room.  “I need…”  His shaky voice trails off.  It occurs to him that they are still half in and half out of the apartment, the front door still open.

“What do you need?”

“I don’t know,” he realizes.  He struggles to his feet, as if all the solar energy in his cells has deserted him.  Reaching down, he picks up the footlocker he dropped, wondering where he’s supposed to store his things.

“How about a cup of tea?”  Kara suggests, as she stands to her feet.  She closes the front door, flipping the deadbolt to lock it.  She rarely locks the door of her loft when she’s inside, practically daring intruders to try her, but tonight she makes an exception. “It’s soothing.  And then maybe…a hot shower before bed.  That always helps me.”

Mon-El swallows the bitter taste in the back of his throat, unable to banish the acrid flavor no matter how many times he tries.  “Tea,” he agrees with a weak nod.  “Lots of sugar.”

“You and your sweet tooth,” she chuckles forcefully, hoping to lighten the mood as she grabs the kettle from atop the stove and begins filling the vessel with water from the tap.

Mon-El stands in the center of the apartment, footlocker in hand, wondering what he should do next; watching as she tinkers about the kitchen lighting the gas stove and turning the knob until the flame is just right.  He wonders if he should just find an unobtrusive corner for his things.  Movies don’t really cover the protocol for this part of cohabitation.  This is usually the part where the credits start to roll across the screen, he realizes, his stomach sinking to his knees.

Confused by his inaction, she glances around the room as she pulls out the ingredients for tea and two mugs.  The loft is so…her.  She’s crammed the place with remembrances and decorative knick-knacks and more chairs than she can possibly fill even if everyone in her life came over at the same time.

She’s filled every corner, every nook and cranny.  There’s not a spare inch of free space for him.  Leaving the kettle to boil, she pastes a smile on her face.  “Let’s make some room,” she declares.  She takes the chest from him, carries it into her…their…bedroom, and places it on the bed. “I know, I have a lot of stuff,” she chuckles, covering her embarrassment at not noticing the problem earlier.  Or being prepared for it.  Had Kara been thinking ahead, it might have occurred to her to come home and clear a drawer or two for the man she loves, while he stewed in the DEO gym.  But after getting his keys cut, she put out a three-alarm apartment fire instead.  “Eliza says it’s because I came here with nothing, and so I hoard things.  Collect them.”

“I may have gotten a little overexcited about purchasing clothes once I found the place of Good Will,” he points out, completely able to see where she was coming from.  He grew up with everything he could have ever needed, and though he is surprised to discover that he doesn’t even miss most of those luxuries, he finds that he doesn’t like the idea of being without something to wear.  Most of his garments, in the beginning, had been borrowed or provided by the DEO.  Mon-El finds that the clothes he purchased with his own currency are the ones that mean the most to him.

Kara speeds over to the rack of hanging clothes on the east side of the room and begins pulling blouses and skirts and slacks from the rack.  She folds them in a blur of movement and stacks them on the bed.  Leaving empty hangers behind, swinging back and forth on the rod, for him to use.

“You don’t have to—“ he begins, feeling guilty that she’s making room to accommodate his presence.

“I do,” she disagrees.  “You deserve space for your own clothes and jackets.  These are all summer clothes anyway,” Kara rationalizes with a casual shrug. “I can store them under the bed until May and then switch out the winter clothes on the rack for the summer ones. It’s fine.”

Following her lead, Mon-El opens the chest and begins removing his clothing, beginning with his growing collection of jackets, which he hangs up on the empty plastic coat hangers.  Over by the chest of drawers, positioned against the wall near the bathroom door, she clears the bottom drawer full of novelty sweatshirts and t-shirts she rarely uses.  She can go through them later and perhaps find items to donate to the ‘place of Good Will’ this weekend.  Mon-El hangs up his button down shirts on the rack, while she extracts his jeans, t-shirts, and pajamas from the footlocker and organizes them in the bottom drawer of her wardrobe.  When she’s done, there’s space to spare.

She folds his boxers and rolls his socks, placing them meticulously in the top drawer alongside her socks and panties.  The blood in her veins thrills at the sight, the visual evidence of their lives edging towards synchronicity.  Despite her nervousness, she can’t deny that she wants this.  His things mixed in with hers.

“You’re not a guest,” she says, turning around to face him, her hands clasping nervously together.  “I want you to understand that.  This is your home.”

His lips lift up on one side in a cock-eyed smile, hands shoved deeply into his pockets as he rocks slightly back on his heels.  But his eyes gaze into hers without flinching away for the first time since his temporary breakdown.  “Our home,” he amends.

Kara’s lips pursing coyly together as though trying to suppress a smile she really wants to give free reign.  She nods.  “Our home.”

 TBC

[lapalmemagazine]

Amin El Gamal: 10 Things You Need to Know About the PRISON BREAK Bad Guy You End Up Rooting For

Born during an earthquake in Palo Alto, CA, one could certainly say Amin El Gamal knows how to make an entrance.  He is the son of two Egyptian-born parents, and grandson of an Egyptian actress. His chameleon-like ability to morph into each character he plays is terrifically mesmerizing and will undoubtedly leave you wanting more. El Gamal’s villainous role in FOX’s PRISON BREAK continuation is beyond terrifying, yet his unique ability to breathe life into the multi-faceted character of “Cyclops” somehow makes you root for him—even if you feel like you shouldn’t.

1) Funniest/ craziest thing that has happened on set?

We shot a good chunk of the show in the desert in a Moroccan town called Ouarzazate. There was a snake wrangler on set at all times to make sure we were safe. Basically, he would comb the sand for snakes, pick them up with his bare hands, and then store them in a jar. After we were done, he’d release them back into the desert – so in case you were concerned, no snakes were harmed in the making of Prison Break.

I remember at one point Wentworth’s bodyguard found a snake near him and started yelling. We all freaked out and ran away like bats out of hell. The wrangler caught the snake, like it was no big deal, and we survived, but it was all pretty hilarious.

2)  If you want to spoil me rotten…

Do my laundry. Seriously, I just ran out of clean underwear today. Is that TMI? It’s probably TMI.

3) Snapchat, Instagram or twitter? And why?

I would have to say Twitter. I’m more verbal than visual, and I can get kind of sick of taking selfies and choosing filters. Plus, puns are everything to me.

4) Known by your friends as the __________ one?

I want to say “the badass one,” but “the worried one” is probably more accurate.

5) Prison Break Season 5 is set to debut in April, what was shooting the continuation of the original series like?

Working on the show was exhilarating. To be a part of something as beloved as Prison Break was a bit daunting, but also really exciting. And to be working with Wentworth Miller, who’s a real trailblazer for queer actors and a brave advocate for mental wellness, was downright inspirational.

Also, traveling around the globe with a ragtag group of insanely talented Middle Eastern actors was so empowering. It was such a charming and loving cast. We ate a lot together and laughed our faces off when we weren’t out on location working hard to make the show as good as it can be.

6) What’s it like playing the lead villain Cyclops on Prison Break?

Creating the character of Cyclops was a challenge, but in the best way possible. I am, as a person, basically a Golden Girl stuck in a lanky ethnic man’s body. So, as an actor, having the task of becoming this menacing, yearning, explosive sort of character was a delicious challenge.

To prepare, I did a lot of research on what’s going on in Yemen (where the character is from), I learned a dialect, and I even went back to the mythological Greek character of Cyclops for inspiration. I also did a good deal of physical work, as well: arms and boxing training, learning to drive stick-shift, and working with some pretty intense prosthetic makeup every day.

Finding my connection to the character was the toughest and the most important part of my prep though. When playing a villain, it can be easy to be reductive or dismissive in your acting choices. I really wanted people watching to, obviously not approve of his behavior, but to understand it. That was my main goal, to humanize someone who is usually seen as inhuman.

7) On The Librarians you played the role of Apep the Egyptian God, which is also your very much part of your Egyptian heritage.  What was that like?

‘The Librarians’ was hands down one of my most fun acting experiences. It’s a highly imaginative and sometimes wacky show, so having the freedom to be big and silly was a blast.

As an Egyptian American person, I’ve always wanted to play an Ancient Egyptian character – especially given that, for some reason, those roles are often (very inappropriately) played by white people.

A couple years ago, a picture of a very old headshot of mine side by side with a bust of the pharaoh Akhenaten randomly went viral in Brazil and Egypt. It was very strange. People started contacting me because they thought I was the reincarnation of the pharaoh. It was especially ironic because around that time I’d been told a few times that I wasn’t “sexy enough” to play pharaohs. I’m clearly having the last laugh on this one.

8) What is your dream role?

I actually have a project about Akhenaten on the back burner. He was fascinating: the first person in recorded history to believe in one deity, reportedly bisexual, and the father of King Tut.

Right now, though, I’m more interested in characters that center Arab Americans as relatable human beings. I have yet to see a character on TV that really is anything like me as a person or like my family. I’m tired of seeing us portrayed in the context of terrorism or violence.

I also secretly harbor a desire to play Mama Rose in the musical ‘Gypsy’.

9) Tell us about your philanthropic work.

Right now, I’m most involved in Black Lives Matter as an ally and volunteer, and am working on a support group for LGBTQ Muslims. I also picket a lot. There’s a lot to protest these days.

10) You have a lot going but what else can we look forward to?

I worked on a couple movies recently. Namour is the debut of a wonderful Egyptian-American filmmaker named Heidi Saman. It’s a rare film that shows the everyday life of Arab Americans in a very authentic and visually cool way. That will be in theatres and on Netflix in mid-March. I also play a very different role in a thriller called Message from the King starring Chadwick Boseman and Alfred Molina. I’m not sure when that will be released, but I imagine soon. It’s a real treat to be able to play so many vastly different sorts of characters. I’m a lucky duck.

Photography by David-Gabe Photography

[surreptitious-stash]

Cherry Cola

Date #8

The first time you’ve been to my house and we’ve been seeing each other for a month. I clean up real good on Saturday and make my house inviting. After lallygagging and taking my sweet time, i receive a text from you and it says;

“Hey! So I should be there in 45 minutes or so.”

I barely just got out of the shower. I’m freaking out. 45 MINUTES!? I’m not even ready. I’m still nervous around you and I need to get dressed. I hustle so hard and manage to get cleaned up and ready to go. I end up wearing a black off the shoulder dress with boots; pulling it off with a jean jacket + and a grey hoodie underneath. Sexy, simple and casual at the same time.

You call me. You’re outside.

Your smoking a cigarette with your usual attire. You brought a backpack and immediately tell me you’re out of it. We chit chat for a moment and I ask you about your day. You seem stressed, and you wear it on your face. I try and calm you down and invite you inside.

The minute we walk in, you seem impressed by my place.

“This is awesome.” You exclaim.

You search around my house and see the details I have in my apartment and tell me that I need to help you decorate. You notice all the music I have in my house. You sit down on my couch and I pour you a glass of Rose.

We’re sitting on my couch, having an honest conversation. You tell me about your family and then you facetime with your son. I stare at you in curiosity.I let you have your time with your son, and you manage to calm down the second you walk in my house. All is good. We’re off to a good start.

I tell you that I get freaked out because I don’t have water. We run to the store to get me water and you make fun of me because it is a chore. After 2 stores, and getting change, and even you paying for my water (it was only 1.75 for 5-gallons) we finally achieve our goal. You laugh at me and tell me it takes a lot of work to get damn water and that we’re living in the 1920′s. I tell you it’s worth it. 

It’s almost 10 at night and I ask if you want to go out. We’ve moved on to Vodka and finished the Rose. You tell me you’re down. So I call us an uber.

We’re on the way to El Segundo and you’re asking me where we’re going. I tell you it’s a surprise. You seem excited. I tell you I’ve never been there but I think you’d dig the scene. You’re curious.

We’ve been holding hands this entire time and my heart is racing. I’m still nervous around you. You even mentioned to me to communicate with you better. I tell you that when I like someone, I get nervous. You reassure me that I shouldn’t be nervous and just to tell you. Seems as if that’s what I have to work on.

Finally get to our destination. This spot is called the Purple Orchid Tiki Lounge. You love Tiki Bars. The minute we get in, your face lights up. 

“This is fucking great!” you smile with enthusiasm.

We scope out the venue and live music is playing. You order me a cocktail. 

By now we’re feeling the music and you even call your sister to see if wants to come out.  The thought of meeting your family kind of scares me. Turns out she doesn’t live in El Segundo anymore but it was very sweet of you to call. 

We sit down in the back sipping on our drinks.

I am buzzed out of my mind. I ask you nonchalantly,  “You know you said you dropped hella girls for me, right?” 

you respond; “I did?”

“Yup,” I respond in a shy demeanor. 

in a cloudy state of judgment, I try and play it cool but act a bit unnerved on why you’d tell me such useless information. I tell you that I’m cool with you and I like where it’s at. And that we have a dope connection. You agree and tell me that there aren’t many girls and that I’m the only one. I smile and kiss you. You then take my hand outside of the bar.

I want to explore Downtown El Segundo. Not much is happening here but we’re trying our best to still enjoy this dead town. We’re making out heavily and manage to find an empty garage. You pull my dress up and start fucking me from the back. I’m moaning loudly. We couldn’t even wait to get home. This always happens. We drink, flirt, kiss each other and we can’t hold ourselves back. This kind of passion is so hot that it cannot be contained. After we’re done, I tell you we should keep walking around. You’re happy to.

We stumble upon a brick building. It looks scary but it’s definitely abandoned. You show me an abandoned closet and out of my drunken state of mind, I tell you we should’ve boned in there. You take my hand again, kiss me passionately and fuck me once more. Perhaps it’s the thrill of us fucking in a public place. Perhaps it’s just because we haven’t seen each other since Wednesday morning. This kind of exhibitionist behavior is so fucking hot. Our recklessness is beyond my control. And I’m here to enjoy it.

We collect ourselves and we’re in front of the Tiki Lounge. You’re smoking a cigarette and I’m wondering if we should go back. We decide on splitting a drink and go inside.

Music is still going on strong. We watch the band and hold hands. I’m in a daze. I think about for a second to myself, “damn this is fun. And damn, I like you.”

You tell me that you’re ready to bounce and I call us an uber.

______________________

I love how you can’t keep your hands off me. Before going to bed, we make out heavily and fuck for about an hour. I came three times that night.

____________________

Date #9 - Sunday Morning.

It’s 7:30AM in the morning. I ask if you’re awake. You mumble you are.

I ask you in the cutest way possible why we’re both awake and you tell me that it’s because we need to go to Pann’s for Breakfast. I smile with delight.

“Does that mean i should hop in the shower?”

You kiss me on the forehead and say, Yes.

______________________

We’re at Pann’s. it’s this 50-year-old diner joint that is kind of expensive. I’m not hungover, but I’m recovering from a cold. I order too much food, and you tell me to take my biscuits to go and I can’t even look at them. You tell me I’m going to regret it. 

After our huge ass breakfast, we head to Melrose Trading Post. Rummaging through the flea market trying to find you the perfect glasses. I buy a pair of fishnet stalkings and I’m on the hunt for some high waisted black jeans. You help me. We do our rounds, and you tell me you’re going to search for records. You end up buying 3 records and I make you go on Fairfax where we can shop more. We spend a good hour or two walking around in the heat. It’s hot, I’m now regretting not being able to eat that leftover biscuit. You laugh and tell me you told me so. 

You and I are trying to get out Fairfax onto something else. We both agree that these basic white girls are getting out of hand and we’ve done everything we’ve done to enjoy Fairfax. You tell me you know of a place we can go for a cocktail. 

As we’re driving, you tell me to make a right on Wilshire. Without knowing, I ask,

“are you taking me to the roof on Wilshire?”

You smile in disguise 

Yes. How’d you know?

Since I’ve been there, I decide to take you to a place you’ve never been. EP + LP. It’s pretty dead and we’re the first ones to head up on the rooftop. It’s like 2:00PM in the afternoon.

You love EP + LP and we’re 2 drinks in. I’m already buzzed. I ask you if you remember what we chatted about last night and you admit you do.

Then you say,

“Strange I was thinking of that when I was walking over to the bathroom.” There are many girls out here but I only want to do you. You stimulate me mentally and satisfy me sexually as well. I kinda don’t want to be with anyone else. And the fact that I pointed out that I dropped girls for you, is a lie. There aren’t many girls. I work 4 jobs and I’m with you when I’m not at work.”

I kiss him and he holds my hand. We decide to ditch the rooftop bar and go somewhere where there is happy hour. I make our way down to Wilshire.

We end up going to Busby’s. I order a rose and we end up playing miniature golf. You teach me some tricks. We flirt heavily again in public and we’re trying to hold it in how much we want to do each other but we also want to make the most of the day while it’s. a nice day outside. It’s one of the cutest things I could ever have done with someone. The last 2 years that I’ve been with someone, he would have never done that. I’ve already done so much fun shit with you and I can’t remember the last time I’ve had this much fun. I don’t want it to end.

On that note, I tell you I want to go next door to Spare Tire to people watch. We order 2 vodka’s and play Uno. 

After the never-ending game of Uno, we decide to give up. We’re flirting heavily, kissing in public and putting on a show. I tell you we gotta go. We jump in my car and head to my pad.

____________________

End up doing it again for another hour. Typing this makes me miss your touch. And also makes me want you.

____________________

After we’re done, you put on your pants and motivate me to go to Trader Joe’s. We go to Trader Joe’s to buy groceries and head over to my house.

________________

You tell me: “Your job is to be the DJ and open a bottle of wine. “

_________________

I’m playing Stevie Wonder. I’m also just sitting in my kitchen, pretending to know what to do. You bust out all the moves and start to do work. I’m memorized by you. You make me guacamole and pasta. I pour wine and chat with you while you’re cooking.

__________________

Your presentation is incredible. I’m so impressed. You make sure I have leftovers and you organize my dishes. I tell you to relax, and I can tell my energy is low. I want to kiss you more but I’m a bit tired. We’re cuddling on my couch and I’m falling asleep on you.

“Baby, let’s go to sleep.” you whisper.

_______________

I try to sleep but end up doing you instead. We’re kissing. Doing it. And I can’t get enough

______________

Woke up in the middle of the night naked. I nudge you to do it again and you already know. We’re like teenagers with such raging hormones with one another.

_____________

wake up in the morning and kiss you on your back. You hold my hand and ask me what time is.

___________

It’s 7:45AM and it’s time for you to leave. I pack up and walk you out.

_________

We’re hugging closely. 

Thank you for everything - you say.

“don’t say thank you.” - I whisper.

You kiss me softly and I ask when we’re going to see each other again.

______________

This weekend? Let’s see a show?

____________

It’s only Monday. I can’t wait to see you again.