#actually maybe I do just look creepy. that's absolutely a possibility that I'm willing to accept. a man can be both creepy and hot

[thethingything]

I just spent 4 and a half hours on a drawing because I was like "hmm, drawing a self portrait sounds fun" and then I spent the whole time working on it going "this is absolutely beautiful but that is not my fucking face and I can't work out why it doesn't look right"

[fitzrove]

maybe you've already answered this before, but if you were directing a schonbrunn concert and you absolutely had to cast 2 elisabeths and this was non-negotiable, how would you handle the change? personally, i feel like it would make more sense to put it in the *reprise* of ich gehör nur mir, since that already involves a big dramatic reveal of elisabeth

Omg, what an interesting question! :D Thank you for asking.

I agree, I would absolutely put it in the portrait reveal/IGNM reprise, and I was in fact somewhat expecting that the change would happen then in Schönbrunn too. (I get why it didn't - everyone wants to hear Maya do as much IGNM as possible - but still.)

There's an added irony/thematic element to the audience seeing familiar iconography - the famous Winterhalter portrait of Sisi + the diamond dress and hair - AND a familiar actress :) From a production perspective, it would still be a pretty equal split (Elisabeth barely sings in Act 1 after IGNM), and it would just... make more sense to me. XD

Also, since you asked (you didn't, but I'm using the opportunity)... I've been thinking a little about how I would direct an Elisabeth production in general, so scattered thoughts on that under the cut.

My friend IRL asked me this question and immediately followed up with "you'd just make Tod **** everyone right? lmao". And like... XD While it's no secret that I like the more intense Tod performances, I actually don't think that fanservice would be my top priority at all. In fact, I'd definitely lean all the way in on the rotting/sinking/decaying of the empire from its former glory + the fact that the entire musical is Lucheni's creepy puppet show/unhinged defense speech to justify his actions. So like... okay, this is going a bit into costuming, but I'd definitely have something along the vines of the Vienna original/1st revival on every character except Lucheni. For most characters it could be fine dark/black lace, sewn into the costumes in a way that makes it (in all ots opulence) look like spreading rot, but for Tod it should be very subtle, colour-matched and more integrated into the costume, blink-and-you'll-miss-it.

As for the actual show... Definitely keep the master of ceremonies/puppetmaster imagery for Lucheni in some form in Prologue. He should be really charismatic and engage the audience a lot - it's his horse and pony show and it's on him to make the audience believe the story. This could mean that he introduces Tod in a more outright way - with a visible hand gesture or something, holding his arm up almost desperately until Tod finally appears in the place he was implying he would. And Lucheni is fascinated by, obsessively drawn to, working in collaboration with AND terrified of his creation - you must remember that the real Lucheni, like the one in the show, did take his own life. Tod should gain more "autonomy" as the show goes on - he's a bit stiff and puppetlike in the prologue (w line delivery to match), but starts to become more believable as a character as the show goes on. Lucheni is believing his own story.

As for Tod... I'm not going to tackle an explicitly fem-presenting fem Tod because heterosexual Schatten is so unappealing as a thought and they would never make Rudolf a girl. XD It's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make to have lesbian WITW etc. But he (?) could definitely be portrayed by an actor of any gender - I'd just style him in an androgynous way. Depending on how strong the actor's own gender presentation is, I'd adjust the styling and makeup accordingly - for more fem-presenting actors the look could be 25% pretty and 75% handsome, while for masc-presenting ones it could be the other way around, and for someone sitting in the middle of the spectrum it could be 50-50. On the acting front I'd avoid leaning into aggression - given her history, it makes more sense for Elisabeth's dream man (man as a very loose term lmao) to be quite non-threatening. Tod's "wrongness" and aggression is not human or physical - it comes from the fact that he's fulfilling his role (of taking lives coldly) and that he doesn't feel things in quite the same way that a human would.

Given Lucheni's story, there should still be aspects of romance and especially fascination in Tod and Elisabeth's relationship. But: no KKOG (nice song, completely ruins the story though) - instead insert the very first original 1992 version of Schwarzer Prinz. Tod is a force of nature.

For FJ: just copypaste Arnaud Masclet's performance from the Bruxellons production and go ajdjksjd. He's visibly torn between doing what his mother taught him the country needs (until he completely internalised it) and what he wants himself (freedom!! Every character in the show wants some amount of freedom - for FJ it's the freedom to love an unconventional woman). The show should sell us on their relationship, the tragedy of it not fitting the rigid environment they're forced to be a part of, and it breaking apart. ALSO, we should use the Essen thing where he briefly sees Tod during Der Letzte Tanz. Whether it is as a reflection of his own concerns or as Elisabeth's anxiety brushing off on him, we don't know. But after/at the end of the song he should really comfort her - the audience needs to see that the thing stopping him from being open and sweet to her is the external environment. It makes the betrayal the next morning even more bitter.

For Sophie - we can just copypaste Else Ludwig's performance from the 2005 dvd, it's flawless. She really believes she's doing everything for the best of the country and the people around her, and she's quite kind in scenes like Kind oder Nicht. She's doing unkind things but they're wrapped up in a box of kindness and she herself firmly believes that they're necessary evils.

Jumping to Rudolf - I think most productions haven't really screwed up the portrayal itself! Lukas Perman's performance in Schönbrunn 2022 is really moving in how desperate he is and how he suffers, just put the "skandaaal" high note back in and you're good to go XD But Rudolf and Tod... that needs major reworking. It doesn't need to be a rehash of the original Schatten blocking, just something that shows the depths of messed-up longing and just how much Tod is willing to indulge Rudolf in it. A bit of violence wouldn't be out of place, but it should be intimate and interspersed with moments of extraordinary gentleness - Tod holding him just a little too hard. It should really come across that this is Rudolf's most important all-consuming relationship right now - maybe throw in a little obsessiveness into how he seeks comfort from Tod. We could maybe keep the "Rudolf at Tod's feet" moment from Schönbrunn prologue, just have Tod visibly react to it in a subtle way - puzzled, like "oh, this happened - still have no idea how but it did. Humans are weird".

I'm a big fan of my "Rudolf is Lucheni's self-insert" theory, so maybe it should be made visible to the audience that he throws Rudolf onstage in Schatten (like in some productions). And definitely keep Serkan Kaya's take on "che bambino stupido" - he's actually empathetic to little Rudolf because he too was a child who was always alone.

Fanservice things / random mentions

- Put Tod in the brothel scene. At least in the derniere lol

- Lucheni watching Schatten from the shadows until Tod glares at him

- LUCHENI KISSED AT DERNIERE? 👀

- If they want to put in pyros they should be during Der Schleier Fällt. It's a bit on the nose but it would look epic with the ending choir thing

Banned elements

These elements are banned from my hypothetical production:

- Tod being more feminine in Schatten and more masculine in Elisabeth scenes. He can be genderfluid, I'd love that (more femininity in IGNM reprise and perhaps Sei nicht verzweifelt, to contrast w FJ) but why in the world this way around ??? For Mayerling, I'm fine with Mary Vetsera symbolism, but there should be a reveal soon before the kiss and a flash of recognition in Rudolf's eyes. If we keep Tod stationary like in Schönbrunn, there should be a veil that he (or Rudolf) takes off. And the veil coming off should only make Rudolf more enthusiastic/desperate for the kiss lol.

- Split Elisabeth is banned. It's just sexist to do it for her and not FJ...

- Leather/pleather outfits

- Carry kiss ending - Elisabeth and Rudolf should both get dumped on the floor. There isnt a way to convey the energy of "cat carrying dead prey around" with two humans and that is the only scenario in which I would accept Tod carrying them around post death.

- Die Verschwörung / Conspiracy. It's a good song but also kind of a nationalist conspiracy theory irl lol.

If anyone read this far, thanks for hanging along for my rambles XD VBW should hire me lmao

[thessalian]

Astrid vs the Goblin Camp

But first, some Visitations

Rafael: Oooh, looks like you're in a spot of bother. I could probably help with that ... for a price.

Astrid: Um ... thank you for the ... very kind offer. And ... you know, the banquet and everything, though I've got a bit of a thing about powerful magical entities and foodstuffs after the Hag And Undead Husband Incident--

Rafael: ...Sorry, how am I hearing the capital letters on that one?

Gale: She insists it's fractional pauses between words. I still can't quite manage it myself. Perhaps it's a bardic talent.

Astrid: Anyway, I'm afraid we're a little full up on deals with beings from the various hells. I mean, still not really liking The Actually A Tiefling Incident very much--

Wyll: I did apologise for that!

Astrid: Not blaming you! I mean, I was pretty suspicious too until The Exploding Hyena Incident. ...Look, sorry, but I think we'll find a way that doesn't involve an open-ended bargain with a demon, or a devil, or whichever sort of entity you are because you're clearly on that end of the spectrum. But thank you very much for the offer, and have a lovely day.

Rafael: You'll be back. ...Though now I really have to wonder--

Astrid: You'll be The Demon Dinner Party Incident.

Rafael: ...Ah.

And again...

Spooky Whispers: Find the Prism for the Absolute and--

Shadowheart: FUCK. OFF.

Spooky Whispers: *do, in fact, FUCK. OFF*

Astrid: Okay, I think I've been really good about not asking about the whatsit so far. But now I kind of have to ask. What is the whatsit?!?

Shadowheart: Honestly not sure, but most of my memories are being held as collateral until I get it to Baldur's Gate.

Astrid: Oh. So ... when I asked a little more about you...

Shadowheart: Well, yes, that was mostly the memory loss, but part of it was trust issues. But if it helps, I like night orchids, and I can't swim.

Astrid: ...I will find you ALL the night orchids. And maybe teach you to swim. If you want. Might take less armour, though.

Shadowheart: *perks up*

Controller Person: *starts seriously rethinking romance choices*

And, because infiltrating a goblin stronghold is the best time for this

Gale: Okay, so draining magical artefacts isn't so much working anymore and if I don't do something about this really ill-considered gift to my last lover, I am going to explode.

Astrid: ...I'm generally willing to leave the past as your business, but I kind of want to know who your last lover was that a gift you gave her is enough to kerboom you.

Gale: Um ... Mystra ... as it happens...

Astrid: ...wut.

Gale: Also ... the explosion wouldn't just kill me. It'd take out an area about the size of Waterdeep.

Astrid: ...................How much do we need to have extracted from you?!?

Astarion: So ... Shadowheart ... you wouldn't happen to have--

Shadowheart: No! Unless that's something they made me forget, but ... almost certainly no!

Astarion: Well, there you have it. Either Astrid feels she couldn't possibly match up favourably to Gale's ex, or he explodes and takes himself out of the running.

Shadowheart: Shut up!

Astarion: Oh. Oh. You'd accept pining from afar if it meant she didn't have to feel the pain of someone she cares about dying! You, a cleric of Shar, no less!

Shadowheart: My greatclub could be sharpened to a stake, Astarion...

But finally, into the Shattered Sanctum

High Priestess Gut: So you wanted to talk?

Astrid: Ummmmmmmm ... not so much. *pulls lute; to the tune of The Sound of Silence* "Hello goblin, my new foe / You are a creepy so-and-so / Since you're making all the tieflings stressed / We've come to do the violence we do best / And your allies / Won't hear your cries for help / Not a yelp / Because I'm caaaasting Silence..."

High Priestess Gut: ............*mouthing obscenities*

Astarion: *critical-hit SHANKs her to death*

Astrid: ...Anyone else think it's kind of ironic that a spell that makes a Silence has verbal components?

And, a little further in

Minthara: Go burn down the druid grove!

Astrid: Oh, for-- how many times are we going to have to save it from you idiots?!?

Minthara: Owowowow!

Astrid: Whoops. ...Wait, what am I saying; I mean good! 'Scuse me, Astarion...

Astarion: Waitwut--

Astrid: *performs dive-bomb on lute and Thunderwaves Minthara right into the chasm, destroying the bridge in the process*

Shadowheart: ...I have to admit, that's a lot more impressive than "yeet".

Astarion: Yes, but I can't jokingly copy that one.

Astrid: *shooting at Scrying Eye* Slay now, praise later, please and thank you! There's going to be backup, and unless they have the jumping prowess of a turtle, the bridge being out won't keep them at range for long!

Astarion: Ah, yes, but two can play at that game. *leaps over chasm, grabs goblin, FEEDS*

Gale: You had to give him those boots, didn't you.

Astrid: I was very disappointed that they didn't give him bunny ears.

And, awhile later

Ragzlin: The mind flayer corpse won't talk!

Astrid: I could ask some questions, if you want...

Ragzlin: You're a bard; you can talk good. FINE.

Astrid: What ... is your name?

Ragzlin: ...What the--?

Astrid: What ... is your quest?

Ragzlin: ...I don't--

Astrid: What ... is the airspeed velocity of an unladen bugbear?

Ragzlin: Hey, waitaminit--

Astrid: *Thunderwave dive-bomb on the lute*

Ragzlin: *goes flying*

Astrid: No convenient chasms here, though. Shame.

Stabnation: *ensues*

And, during a really needed long rest...

Astrid: So ... I've talked to Wyll about the pact he really needs out of, Gale about the ... kerboom thing, and Shadowheart about her whole deal. Want to tell me about the monster hunter?

Astarion: My master in Baldur's Gate wants me back, apparently. And there's nothing we can do about it if he wants to take me, so I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to tell you this.

Astrid: Do you even look at the things I ask you to carry?

Astarion: *peers into haversack* Alchemist's fire and ... what's this?

Astrid: Holy water, or so Shadowheart tells me.

Astarion: What the f-- are you trying to kill me?!?

Astrid: No, I would have put it in your wine if I was trying to kill you with it.

Astarion: That ... is a singularly horrible mental image, but go on...

Astrid: Just because those things work against you doesn't mean you can't use those things against other vampires. And you have options he doesn't. Like, being out in the daytime.

Astarion: You are suicidally overconfident ... and yet all of that might work. Yes, I think I'll echo Shadowheart here: I fear you.

Shadowheart: I do not fear her anymore!

Astarion: Oh, nonsense you don't; you just worry that your devotion to Shar might get in the way of--

Shadowheart: *throws a half-rotted treacle tart at Astarion's head*

Astrid: ...I was wondering why you were carrying those around. Anywaaaaay... How about we get some rest because we still have to find Haslin down in the pits and we should probably rescue Volo too.

Astarion; Gale; Shadowheart; Wyll: Volo's an arse!

Astrid: Yes, but he's an arse that doesn't deserve to be rump roast for goblins, okay?!? They were cooking dwarf out there!

Astarion: Still, couldn't I just take a minor nibble?

Astrid: Gods, no. Stupid might be catching.

Gale: So you can be insulting about people when you're out of range?

Astrid: That or he has a really bad headache right now. Either way.

[vampirememory]

Okay, so hello!! Hope everything is good with you!! Sending this through inbox just because I plan on giving you something in return. I'm thinking maybe a shufflemancy reading with a few poems / quotes to answer your question? I just love shufflemancy so much lmao. Is it okay then if I ask two questions? If not, I understand. But if it *is* okay, I was wondering if I could ask:

Is there any romantic potential between me (S, she/her) and my crush (AF, he/him)? We haven't talked much since the pandemic, but we had a good thing going and I'm wondering if a romantic relationship is in the cards for us / possible at all as of right now.

If there is a romantic potential between me and AF, can I have some advice on how to approach the situation to ensure that it does happen (basically how to reel him in)? Your girl has absolutely NO game lmao, I kind of need all of the help that you are willing to give, haha. I think I have an inkling of what I need to do, but I feel like a reading would help clear things up.

This is really kind of the last time that I want to ask a question about our relationship, so I figured I might as well go all out, right? I promise this isn't one of those delusional "no-contact" crushes, I actually had contact with this dude before an abrupt separation, and we were getting along so swimmingly :( I'm just clarifying because of your "no third parties' rule".

Thank you so much for your time + dedication! If you choose to respond to my ask (you don't have to of course, you always have the choice!) I'll get back to you as soon as possible with a time estimate on how long the shufflemancy + poem / quote reading is going to take. I am also fine with you asking more than one question for your reading :) Hope your day is GREAT!

Also, I have to add that I love this Pokémon infused tarot reading, it's really original and lowkey nostalgic.

Hey! thanks for participating. Since I took so long, it's not required for you to do anything in return but if you'd like to, feel free to message me! apologies if this question is answered too late.

For your first question, your pokemon is: Jellicent

At first, I felt a very nostalgic feeling from this pokemon, it gives cream puff vibes, something sweet, nostalgic, & tasty (I've never had a cream puff so don't @ me). For you, you got the female version of this pokemon but there is a male version as well, and both of their descriptions are equally creepy and sinister? Like two peas in a pod. Maybe you both are toxic in some way and fit together perfectly, but it might not be good in the long-run, being toxic to each other, or when you're together, being toxic to everyone else. It feels like there are some good factors here, but someone will probably end up suffering in some way. Overall, I am seeing you guys having some sort of compatibility, whether that be romantic, familiar (chosen family), or friendship-wise.

For your second question, your pokemon is: Meltan

This is a very weird pokemon for this question, but I think overall you need to be yourself. There is already some compatibility, you know this, now all you have to do is just look inwards and find the confidence to make things happen or drop some hints! The other way is to try and subtly attract him, like be magnetic (this pokemon's ability is magnet pull so quite literally!) but I never suggest anyone to be subtle because lots of people don't get subtle hints (me included oof). Just be yourself, know yourself, and know your person! Do what you know will bring him in.

Thanks for participating! feel free to leave feedback in my ask box.

[its-me-im-coraline]

Baby // Headcannons

words //

warnings // non really, this is teeth rotting fluff, any deisre for children after this is not my fault, blame Måneskin 😂

pairing // Måneskin members x GN!Reader

author's note // lol i decided to use these photos cause it looks more aesthetically pleasing. anyways i hope you enjoy the headcannons also don't forget the "sleepover" on sunday yayyyyy...

request // yes here

summary // Måneskin as parents

Damiano David

damiano as a father would be the absolute sweetest

the man looks intimidating in photos but the moment he opens his mouth is the sweetest

thus the conclusion that he’d be the softest father in existence

will be extremely hands on raising your kid the whole time

he refuses to not do his absolute best to be there as much as possible for your guys’ child

will never complain about having to change diapers

for some reason I imagine damiano to be the type of father that would take baths with his child

“look, look at daddy’s hair”

while he has some kind of ‘intricate’ hairstyle with tons of foam all around it

will literally cry for pretty much every milestone of the child

“di-did they just laugh? Y/N, our child just laughed, stop laughing at me!”

meanwhile he is borderline sobbing

i can also imagine him if not crying just laughing in excitement at something they do

like say your guys’ child has taken up some kind of sport or martial art, they will show the most recent thing they learned to damiano and he will start giggling in pleasant surprise

“Dio mio, amore, that was fucking awsome!”

will have a hard time not cursing in front of the child sometimes

but he’s working on it

will take tons of walks around the city, in parks and stuff, together

can just imagine him in nature, holding hands with this tiny little human being

ahuaifjn my heart dudes

will be supportive of them no matter what

be it the child’s sexuality, gender identity, career and hobbies

as long as they can be safe he doesn’t mind at all

will try not to cry when his kid will move away

if they move somewhere close by rest assured he will never not be at their house

“you know dad, you have a house of your own, don’t you like it better?”

“nah, the sun hits this place really nicely, i enjoy it”

will def take you and the kid along when traveling, when possible of course

I can also just imagine him having his kid on stage at a show and just kind of playing around and singing and awwwwwwwwwwwww

Why do I want this? i don't even want kids!!!!!!

Thomas Raggi

Thomas is a similar case to Damiano but of course with his differences

instead of taking walks around he just takes naps with them

you can not even count the times you have come home, calling for thomas and your kid and neither responds

so you get worried a bit but then you see them napping on the couch

will nap with your kid in the weirdest places

can and will fall asleep together on a chair in the balcony/yard

I feel like he would spoil them a bit?

especially if he’s been away for long, he will return home baring gifts

from a cute shirt, to something pretty expensive that reminded him of them

will always bring snacks from different countries, like chocolates for belgium or nougat from greece (yes it is kind of a traditional candy in some greek islands especially)

might not take baths with them like damiano but i can see thomas just playing around with the hose outside in the yard

“Dad, no it’s cold! stoooop it!”

“Oh come on, it's burning out here! don’t you love the little cooling effect?”

will know when not to throw water at your kid of course, it is always done in good fun when they’ve gone outside with the solemn reason of playing with the water

dance parties at the most random moments

like a song they both like plays at a store

they will start dancing in the middle of the store

sometimes you act like you dont know them

others you join it

how sweet

ok but like picknics at the park

you just lay in a blanket, thomas and your child are non stop playing around until they get tired

and when thomas sits down the kid is still all over him and they are being so cuddly with each other

will always remind them of their jacket

Victoria De Angelis

victoria would feel a little awkward at first

idk but although i'm sure she is the sweetest with children i feel that she will not be sure how to act at first

maybe she would view your baby as very very fragile at first and be very afraid of her movements as to not do anything to hurt them

i can not stop thinking of victoria when her child is sick or feels down

she will immediately go mama bear at them

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Does your head hurt?”

“Do you feel cold?”

why do i feel she would get into superstitions sometimes

“i should call your mum, Y/N (if you're from a culture that believes in that). someone gave them the evil eye. of course they did, you're amazing!”

feels very proud of the outfits she gives your kids i swear

“this is perfect! Y/N look how cute they look!! You have the matching shirt, right?”

will go above and beyond for them

doesn’t care what time it is, if her baby needs her she’s there

tickle fights are a must in your household

she will always laugh hysterically even if your kid doesn’t actually tickle her

the cutest thing is them two just sleeping together in the car when going somewhere

poor chilli now has to endure to children bothering her lol

victoria would be extremely protective of your child, not only if they got hurt but even with the idea that they could

will always be proud mama™

"they are amazing, how can i not be proud"

Ethan Torchio

Remember how I said Victoria would feel kind of scared of doing something wrong and hurting your kid?

ethan is even more worried

idk, i see this man as an absolute gentle giant

i can see him just staring at the baby the first time he sees them with so much adoration, as if in a trance

now…

out of all of them ethan is the “strictest”

i feel like you would be the one to try to sneak desert before dinner and ethan would just scold both you and your child

“Y/N, I told them no before! Come on!”

just like them all he is willing to go to the end of the world for that kid

will not hesitate to bring them the moon if he could, no questions asked

i feel like he would be the one your child confides in the most

like i can imagine your teenager sneaking out, something going wrong and calling ethan first!

he will die from the worry when he gets the call but as i said will go to the ends of the world for them

ethan will never even once yell at them

scold them a few times? sure

but yell? not even once!

now imagine this man with a little child wearing his shirt at the beach, walking around and showing them the beach

“You see those lights over there? They are windmills. They collect energy from the wind. how cool is that”

very close to my grandmother pointing out the windmills she’s seeing every summer for the past 20 years lol

he is so wholesome, will turn everything into a learning opportunity

i feel like he would be the father that is so embarrassing to the child because of how wholesome he is some times

but both them and their friends would confide in him

will literally father their friends if they need it omg

he is the type to see you holding them for the first time, or just holding them and doing something and just getting horny

“come on amore, let’s have one more!”

“ethan no”

he’s like telepathically communicate with them

it gets creepy but he does that to you two

he just knows when you need anything

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast

[cute-little-spaceboy]

♤ Bunny Hybrid! Tadashi Yamaguchi x GN! Reader ♤ Fantasy AU ♤ Pure Fluff ♤ No idea how I got roped into this, but it's for @ultimate-astridwriting's Hybrids collab. ♤ This is long as hell, I'm sorry if it's boring, I tried my best. ♤ 2431 words guys...

<♤>

The Night was young, stars just barely peeking out of the sky. An almost bluish sliver of the sun could still be seen right where the horizon lay. When the entirety of the village was just starting to turn in for the night, the ancient spirits, the Yōkai, were coming out.  The first ones out were always the more predatory of the group. The foxes, wolves, bears, etc. They were the brave ones, and almost always came out first, at the same time the stars began appearing. Although they were the first to leave their dens and holes, they mostly prowled around, looking for any last traces of people that had stayed out late.  Next were the insects and birds. Bird Yōkai being more impatient than others, and simply unable to wait for the all clear from the predators. They began chartering and singing amongst themselves, flying from tree to tree without a care in the world. Meanwhile the insects sat near the edges of the trees, murmuring to each other.  Finally, the timid prey animals came out (Only with the confirmation from the Predators that it was indeed safe). The rabbits, mice, squirrels and such.  They would come out slowly, still unsure of their surroundings. Once they deemed it truly safe, they would party just as carefree as any bird or fox. The kingdom they lived by was a small one. The village was tiny enough that everyone knew everyone and almost all of them were related, or friends. The castle was more of a mansion or extra large house. And all around the village, there was a ring of meadowy area, and then forests for miles. Forests filled with Yōkai, that is.  The relationship between the kingdom and the Spirits was… Complicated to say the least. The Kingdom had said they were on "Neutral terms" years ago, but what really ended up happening was, the two sides avoided and feared each other. No one really knew why, but they feared great consequences if they interacted with each other. So the Humans in the village spent the day enjoying themselves, and the Yōkai came out at night, after they went home.  The meadow was sort of like a barrier to the two, no human or Yōkai was brave enough to go there… Well, not most anyways.  You had to be either brave or stupid to go anywhere near there. Tadashi Yamaguchi was neither brave, nor stupid, he was simply lovestruck. He couldn't stay in the forest with the rest of the Yōkai, not when he knew you were there. Out sitting in the meadows, staring up at the vast expanse of the skies. You were just as bad as he was, that's how he justified it. If you could go out, then so could he. Neither of you were hurting anything, you were watching stars and he was watching you.  He was almost certain that you didn't see him. The grass in the meadows was tall, almost knee length. So he would crouch down and watch you. It may have been a little creepy, but he couldn't help it. You were simply captivating to him. You weren't doing anything, just sitting there.  You had a lantern with you, you always did. It wasn't a bright light, casting only a faint golden light on your face. He couldn't see much, but what he could see, he adored. You looked so… Delicately made. As if every individual part of you was carefully crafted and selected from the best that the heavens had to offer. You were a deity, and he was a simple demon. He had seen a glimpse of heaven itself and now he knew it was clearly meant to be.  His long, floppy ears perked up when he saw your familiar form, kneeling on the soft grass. Cotton tail wiggling with excitement. He could sit there for hours, imagining what you were like. What did you like doing? You obviously loved the stars, maybe you liked nature? If you liked nature, maybe you would like him? Maybe you were waiting for someone else? He didn't like that thought. Shaking his head, ears flopping against his face. As if he could erase the thought from his head. It was ridiculous to be this possessive over something that wasn't his, but what else could he do? You were the forbidden fruit, and he wasn't willing to let anyone else take away his beautiful

temptation.  He crept closer, he didn't normally get closer than eight feet away, but he felt more confident today. It wasn't really confidence so much as desperation to get closer to you. He couldn't just sit and stare at you forever. It would drive him mad. Scooting closer as quietly as possible, the grass made a rustling sound underneath him but you didn't seem to notice. He was four feet away now, you were still clueless, and he still wanted more. So he crept closer until he was three feet…  Two feet… One foot…  Right behind you…  It was beyond him how you hadn't noticed him. If he leaned forward, he would be pressed against your back. He could smell your natural scent, grass, flowers, and the faintest hint of general store soap. The grass and flowers were probably thanks to the meadow, but he almost melted. He was right there, right next to you. He could easily imagine that he wasn't here, stalking you, but that you were meeting in secret. That the two of you were forbidden lovers, that he was embracing you, not hiding behind you. He knew that he had gone too far, this was a major invasion of privacy and inappropriate to sneak behind someone without them knowing. But he was practically lovedrunk being this close to you, and he couldn't think of anything other than you.  Would it really hurt if you knew he was there? You were already in the meadows, so you had to know that there were creatures that could be out there. It was really your fault for coming out here, he wasn't going to hurt you. He just had to hold your hand, if only for a second.  Reaching out with a trembling hand, he threw caution to the wind, slipping his hand into yours. Never once thinking about how bad things were about to get.  You jerked your hand away, shrieking and scrambling to your feet, whirling around to see what had touched your hand. The lantern was knocked to the ground and Tadashi's face was illuminated. He froze like a deer in headlights, his terror filled eyes never left yours. Your hands were brought up to your chest as you stared at the rabbit hybrid, equally afraid. Was he trying to hurt you? Hunt you? He was a rabbit, last you checked, those didn't eat people. But he was also a Yōkai, which meant you knew almost nothing about what he would actually do.  He felt paralyzed, the only thoughts in his mind were "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?". When you took a step towards him, his fight or flight instinct kicked in… They chose flight.  He bolted from his spot, bounding for the forest. You stared as he didn't bother looking back, too scared to stop running until he was safely back in his He cursed himself for being so reckless, getting so close to you. He had completely thrown logic and possible safety to the side just to touch some stranger he could barely see. What kind of lovesick child was he?  "You went out there again, didn't you?" The almost scolding voice of his friend, Kei Tsukishima, called from outside the den.  Tadashi peeked his head out of the entrance, nose trembling from the dramatic situation.  "I couldn't help it, Tsukki, they just…"  ""Captivate You"?" Kei said, rolling his eyes. His fluffy orange tail swishing behind him. "That's what you said, isn't it? Every time you describe them, it's always the same thing."  "I know, but… I can't really describe them beyond that. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I just know!" Tadashi protested. "Know what? Know that they wouldn't take the opportunity to kill you on the spot?"  "Oh come on Tsukki, you know we get along just fine, they wouldn't shoot me."  "Sure. Come back and explain it to me when you've actually talked to them and lived to tell the tale." Kei scoffed, turning and stalking back into the trees.  "I almost got caught… Tsukki is right." Tadashi frowned, it was common sense that you didn't fall in love before a real first sight. But common sense wasn't making sense anymore, so anything was possible at this point. Even getting a complete stranger's affection, right?  "This is stupid…" Tadashi muttered to

himself as he crept out of the treeline. He had no idea if he would see you again, but curiosity had gotten the best of him and he wasn't going to give up the chance to see you again. Tsukki could advise him against it all he wanted, Tadashi was a firm believer in love at first sight. (No matter how one sided this was)  There you were, sitting in your usual spot. He hadn't scared you off after all, he felt relieved. But only slightly, he still had to muster the courage to try and talk to you. After all, you already knew he existed, so now he only had to make you just as in love with him as he was with you. Easy Peasy… Something odd that he noticed, was that you weren't looking up at the sky like you usually were. You were staring straight at the border of trees that lined the forest. Almost as if you were expecting something to come out. It was a little off putting, that was for sure. Were you looking for him? Was that a good thing, and you wanted to talk to him? Or did you have a hidden weapon? Okay… Maybe no hidden weaponry, no way you were that kind of person. Nobody who came out to look at stars would kill some demon they barely met, right?  "Here we go…" He whispered to himself, standing upright in the tall grass to walk over before his confidence disappeared.  "Or… Maybe not." He crouched in the grass again, opting to crawl instead of walk. Maybe it was because he could still back out, or maybe it was because it might make him seem friendlier. Either way, staying hidden until he absolutely had to come out, was far easier.  When he had gotten close again, he didn't want to come out of hiding. He wanted to get your attention, but he didn't want you to see him. His prey instincts were kicking in and he was regretting his choice to confront you.  "Hello?"  You spoke…  You had actually spoken. Out loud. To him? He didn't know that.  "I know you're here. I saw you yesterday, and… I assume you're back now?"  Were you just saying that? Or did you actually know he was here. You could have been bluffing, sure. But he had to say something eventually. So he may as well get it out now.  "Yes. I'm back." His voice was quiet, but everything else was quieter, so he knew you had heard him.  "I knew it." You had been bluffing… Your voice sounded too surprised to get a response. Had you been talking like that for the last hour?  "How long have you been watching me?" Tadashi felt awkward now, he couldn't lie to you and say it was the first time. But he couldn't just tell you that he had been stalking you for months now.  "A while then?"  "No! Of course not!" He protested.  "Then how long?"  "Only a few months. That's all." He tried to make it sound better than it actually was.  "A few months? Why? What were you even doing? Are you some kind of stalker?"  "No! I'm not a stalker, I swear! I was only watching the stars with you. I… I like it here too, and when I saw you, I guess I got excited that someone else liked it too." That wasn't entirely untrue.  There was silence, and he felt uncomfortable again. Had you somehow seen through his half-lie? Looking up, he saw the faint light of a lantern and your face. You were standing over him, looking down with what could have been amusement.  "Y'know you could've just asked, right? I'm not gonna hurt you." You crouched next to him and he could fully see your face from here. His cheeks heated up when you set the lantern in between the two of you.  "Sorry, I guess I was too scared." He muttered, staring at his feet and fidgeting with some blades of grass.  "Of what?"  "You… I know humans and Yōkai technically "Get Along" but everyone's still afraid of each other and I didn't really know you, and I didn't want you to think I was a creeper or anything and-" You placed a finger to his lips, interrupting his ramble.  "Well you don't have to be afraid of me now. I already told you, I won't hurt you. And honestly, I was probably intruding on your stargazing place. This Meadow is more a part of the forest than part of the village. If anything, I'm the

creep."  "No way! It's an in between space, you're not intruding, I promise!" He reassured, he didn't want you feeling unwelcome.  "You're sure?"  "Definitely! You're just as welcome to come here as I am."  "Good to know someone else loves this place like I do." You smiled at the happy Yōkai. Truth be told, you knew he had been watching you for a while. You simply acted as if you didn't see him because you knew how jumpy Yōkai were. You didn't want to scare him off, so you simply ignored him. And when he had actually started talking to you, you knew full well why he was watching you. It was painfully obvious how obsessed he was with you. But for now, you would humor him. You had waited for him to talk to you, you could wait for him to confess his true intentions.

As for how you felt? You weren't entirely sure how to feel. But seeing as he wasn't very good at confessing anything, you had plenty of time to think that over. For now, you had someone to talk to, and that was good enough. 

[depressedacadamia]

5 times Leo hit on Calypso as her Barista and one time it worked

Word Count: 3.8K

Summary: Coffee Shop AU! Calypso is running late one day so she ends up going to a coffee shop- what she doesn’t expect is for her barista to be Bad boy supreme

Later on in this fic, they sing this song.

Warnings?: Not much, terrible pick up lines, mainly fluff, making out.

A/N:  This took me so long but alas, here it is! This is kinda my first official fluff and I tried okay. Anyway, enjoy, comment, share, like- you know the drill. <3 from moi!

The 1st Thursday

Calypso was not happy with the line she was waiting in. She was running late and thus was at a coffee shop- somewhere she preferred not to go. The weather was terrible, grey skies as well as heavy rain that had Calypso drenched. The stupid forecast hadn’t predicted the rain and thus she had left her apartment without an umbrella nor raincoat. 

The coffee shop was small but cute, she had to admit. The staff seemed small but efficient and within a few minutes, Calypso found herself at the front of the line, face to face with a boy with rich dark tan skin and the most dazzling smile she had ever seen. He had long dimples and his dark curly hair would flop over his face in a cute manner.

“Hi, Welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee. I’m Super sized Mcshizzle and I will be taking your order today, do you have your order ready?” He looked up at the girl in front of him and immediately, his lips stretched into a lazy and goofy smile. She frowned at the nickname but internally she wanted to laugh, even his name badge read Super Sized Mcshizzle- Who called themselves that?

“Can I get a cappuccino with 2 espresso shots, please.” She reached into her bag to pull out her purse while the boy at the counter hummed and tapped at the machine in front of him.

“What kind of milk?” He looked up again, cheekily smiling as if he had something planned.

“Uh, almond is fine.”

“And your name?” He asked, pulling out a marker. Before she could answer, he cut in.

“Does your name start with a C-”

“-Actually it doe-” 

 “-Because I can C us together.” 

Calypso resisted the urge to smile and instead raised an eyebrow at the horribly cheesy pick up line. Despite this, she was a bit impressed- Her name did technically start with a C.

“Calypso. That’s my name,” She told him as she walked away from the counter and sat at one of the stalls, waiting for her name to be called out. 

The 2nd Thursday

Somehow, Calypso found herself queuing outside the same coffee shop the next Thursday. Whilst she told herself it was because the coffee was perfect, it was truly to see the brown haired grinning boy who had served her last week. Pick up lines weren’t really her poison, but he wasn’t creepy and even she had to admit it- He was cute. 

As the queue grew shorter, she grabbed her purse ready to pay. She had subconsciously chosen to wear better clothes and style her hair today. Was it a stupid decision to wear white when drinking coffee? Absolutely. But Calypso was 100% willing to take the risk. 

“Hi, welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee. I’m Bad Boy Supreme and I will be taking your order today, do you have an order ready?” The boy looked up, with his hair flopping about. He had rolled his sleeves up and Calypso, who wasn’t about to get caught, quickly averted her eyes elsewhere. She noticed that his name had changed- so had his badge. Did he have a collection of these names? She’d have to ask him next time.

Oh, so there will be a next time, huh? She asked herself. 

Shut up. 

“Oh. Calypso, right? Same as last time?” He asked as he hovered his finger over the machine.

“Oh, yeah. Cappuccino please.” 

As she waited for her name to be called out, she pulled out her sketchbook and started sketching the cute barista. From his elf like ears to his slanted chocolate eyes and the funny curl that went in the complete opposite direction of his hair earning him a messy hair look. It was only a basic sketch but it had outlined him. 

“Cappuccino for Calypso?” a familiar voice called out. She was slightly surprised to find her Barista also handing off her coffee but she also quite flattered. Or maybe she was just overthinking this. He could easily just have switched around for a friend- it can’t have been just for her.

“Thanks,” she murmured as she reached into her purse, trying to find the appropriate change in her purse. 

“You and I are like nachos with jalapeños. I'm super cheesy, you're super hot, and we belong together.” The pick up line rolled off his tongue as he leant over the counter separating them. He had a smirk that made Calypso immediately lose her strong front and spill her change all over the counter.

“What?!” she sputtered as her eyes darted to the change. She managed to scoop most of it into her arms without looking too much like a fool. She quickly grabbed her coffee and made her way out of the shop as fast as she possibly could, hoping she didn’t look as ridiculous as she thought she did. 

The 3rd Thursday

“You don’t understand, last time the pick up line was creepy. She probably thinks I’m a weirdo now!” Leo groaned as he slammed his head on the counter beside his friend Will who always worked the same shift as him. Unfortunately, Will did not get to witness what Leo kept on describing as ‘a catastrophe’. 

“She won’t come in today, I bet. Ugh, I really screwed up.” 

“It really can’t have been that bad!” Will argued, dragging Leo by the arm to the front counter. 

“I said You and I are like nachos with Jalapenos. I’m super cheesy, you’re super hot and we belong together.”

Will cringed. “Okay, that is bad.”

Calypso could not believe she was coming back to the coffee shop. The previous pick up line was terrible, in fact it was almost as bad as the ‘I’m here, what are your other two wishes’ pick up line that a creepy person had used on her earlier but in all honesty it wasn’t the barista that was the problem. It was the fact that she could not crush over someone with pickup lines as bad as those. This time, she had decided to use her card to pay so she wouldn’t have to deal with spilt change everywhere. 

“Hi, welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee. I’m Commander tool Belt- that’s because my major is engineering and I fixed the old coffee machine- how can I help you?” The curly haired boy in front of her said miserably while slumped behind the counter with his face practically leaning on the machine.  

“I was hoping for the usual?” Her meek voice came out questioning. Leo’s head shot off the counter, almost slamming into the machine. 

“Wow… uh cappuccino again?” 

“Yep…” she searched for something to say. “So engineering major huh?” 

“Mhmm. I like making things I guess. What about you?” 

“Natural sciences. I was going to do art but I guess plants and animals are more of my poison.” She shrugged. 

“You can draw?” he asked, his voice peaking interest and turning around slightly. 

“Yes, why do you sound so surprised at that?” 

He batted his hand. “Oh nothing, just something we have in common.” He then winked and Calypso had to do everything she could to not react. She stood in front of the counter, waiting for her coffee but saw that her barista was screwing his eyes up and writing something on a cup. She wanted to pull out her sketchbook and draw the cute face he was pulling, leaning back and holding the cup in front of him as if it were an invention he had never seen. 

“Cappuccino for Calypso!” A sing-song voice that could only be her barista called out. She had to admit, his voice was not bad. In fact, it was quite impressive and it had a nice harmonious tune to it. 

“Thank you…” she said in a suspicious tone, as she swiped her card over the contactless payment machine. Her barista was suspiciously silent and she had yet to hear a terrible pick up line. He had a mischievous smile as if he had set something on fire and not told anyone anything about it. As she picked up her coffee, she noticed a lot more black marker on the cup and held it away from her face to read it.

Are you made of Copper and tellurium? Because you are CuTe.

She wanted to face palm at such a classic science pun but she was also impressed that he knew elements of the periodic table so easily. She let out a small laugh to let him know that she had noticed the pick up line before she took a small sip and smiled. 

The 4th Thursday

“I’m telling you, she actually laughed at the line! That’s a good thing right?” Leo asked as he put on his apron. 

“And I’m telling you, if you want her to go out with you, hit her with a star wars pun,” Will ugred while tying his apron behind his back.

“You’re obsessed with star wars.”

“Hey, it worked for me and Nico!” Will pointed out as they made their way to the counter.

“Sun boy, we all know you and Mr Debbie Downer did not get together over Star Wars pick up lines,” Leo argued. 

Calypso was running late. She hated being late. It was like slowly ticking off the boxes for panic 101. She was wearing mismatched socks, had the wrong books for class and the laces of her shoes were untied. At least the line was significantly shorter than usual and while normally that would have made Calypso question the occasion, she was too much in a rush to truly care.

As she ran in, she tripped over her laces and almost fell had it not been for the arms of the person in front of her. As she looked up to find her saviour, she found herself face to face with the curly brown haired boy who today wore the badge of ‘Admiral Leo’.  She thought Leo was a nice name and it suited him very well- much better than any other name would have.

“Hey, tie your shoes!” he scolded her and she was surprised by his concern over her safety. Alas, she had spoken too soon, 

“I don’t want you falling for anyone else.” he murmured, his lips right by her ear and his hot breath making goosebumps form all across her neck. He then reached down onto his knees, and did her laces. However, she noticed the manner he did them were different to how she would normally do them. 

“You know that’s how children do their laces, right?” Her hands rested on her hips as he gasped dramatically and held his hand over his heart. 

“Are you calling me a child?” 

Before she could say yes, he cut her off.

“The answer is I totally am a child because that means I can eat off the child menu,” He grinned foolishly. “Life hacks with Admiral Leo!” 

The 5th Thursday

“I’m telling you Leo- Make the Star Wars pun. Please! For me, do it for me!” Will begged as he tied Leo’s apron for him. Leo was reluctant to go with a Star Wars pun. He didn’t know if Calypso would get it or if she was into nerdy stuff like that but he was running out of ideas. He hadn’t gotten any terrible sparks of inspiration and the Star Wars inspired pun that Will had told him couldt go too badly?

Nervously, Leo waited behind the counter, his hands tapping as if he had just slapped on a nicotine patch and then glugged 6 espresso’s. In other words, Leo was anxious. If he just made the drinks without thinking about it, he could get his mind off it but when he started remembering that she may walk in at any moment, he could feel his hands shake and his stomach begin to churn. 

Calypso was very happy. She had no classes today, no research studies to deal with and she had even managed her time well enough to hang out with a friend before heading towards her newly found and now favourite coffee shop. She knew it was it because of a certain curly haired and cheekily grinning boy. 

“Hello, welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee, I’m Flaming Valdez- don’t ask please- how can I assist you today?” He once again looked up and when seeing Calypso, he recited her order before the words could come out of her mouth. 

“Cappuccino with 2 espresso shots and almond milk?” 

Calypso, a bit shocked, nodded. She could feel small butterflies forming in her stomach thinking about how Leo had memorised her order. 

Stop being silly. He probably memorises every regular’s order. 

 “Soo… Flaming Valdez… what’s the story behind that?” She asked, despite his warning. Leo tipped his head back and let out a throaty laugh that had Calypso tingling all over- How can a person have such a gorgeous laugh? How can someone look so good while laughing? 

“Oh, that’s a good story. Every year, we celebrate the owners birthday by having the shop to ourselves. No customers, just the staff chilling. Anyway, so it’s like 9pm and we’re all meant to be out because it was sunset an hour ago but instead we’re still in the shop. Everyone’s gathered right out there because your boy, Flaming Valdez, brought in Roman candles!” Leo pointed to the chairs and tables outside the shop.

“Roman candles?” Calypso asked, a tad confused. Her face scrunched up a bit and Leo almost died from how cute her face looked.

“They’re like fireworks. There’s a slight difference with how the shell explodes compared to fireworks and they are a much more traditional version of fireworks but…” He trailed off when he noticed Calypso’s confused face- he just managed to remember that she wasn’t a nerd like him and didn’t study fireworks in her freetime. 

“Anyway, Will has the red ones and I have the green ones and so we literally start shooting them at each other like we’re re-enacting Harry Potter or something!”

“What! Can’t someone get set on fire from that?”

“Well yeah actually, they can. Will shoots one at me, sparks at my hair and sets it on fire. I’m running around trying to stop my burning hair while everyone is laughing. The crowd started cheering ‘Flaming Valdez’ and since then, they’ve adopted me that name. I’ve tried to get them to change it but it seems to stick,” he laughed while making her coffee. 

“Yeah, I think I’ve seemed to notice. Super sized Mcshizzle, Bad boy supreme, Commander tool belt, Admiral Leo and today- Flaming Valdez.” She listed all the names he would wear on his badges off her fingers. However, that may have been a mistake because when she looked up, she saw Leo shooting her a sly grin that made the butterflies start going crazy in her stomach again.

“So you remember my names, huh?” 

“It’s the nice thing to do,” she defended, a blush rising on her cheeks as she reached for some napkins.

Leo took a deep breath- he couldn’t believe that he was going to use Will’s Star Wars pick up line. 

“Do you like Star Wars? Cause Yoda only one for me.” The words practically rolled off his tongue and Calypso froze before breaking in laughter. She couldn't hold it in anymore- this was by far the funniest of all the pick up lines he had used. She pulled out a pen and scribbled something down on her sketchpad before ripping it out.

Leo, distraught, watched as she laughed at the pick up line. He should have listened to his gut and never made the pick up line. Oh gosh, he looked like an absolute loser now. Who makes Star Wars puns other than nerds? He handed Calypso the coffee and watched as she quickly left.

 He noticed the sketch she had left behind, it looked oddly familiar. In fact, he could have sworn it looked just like him. She had been sketching him everytime she waited for her coffee. He traced finger gently over the outline of his face, smiling. She had drawn everything in such detail, he felt like he was looking in the mirror but at the same time he felt she had facetuned him and made him look.. Well, perfect. Did she think he needed all these faults fixed? Or was this just how she saw him? She somehow made every flaw seem gorgeous and beautiful and he didn’t know how to feel as he looked at the bottom of the sketch. 

His eyes widened as he read the note left at the bottom of the sketch. 

Hey Leonidas (your co-worker told me that). Here’s my number - 07669833256. 

P.S- Star Wars puns ALWAYS work.

Yours truly, Calypso

“Leo? Are you good?” Will stopped to ask him. 

“Star Wars puns always work- you were right,” he said starstruck. 

The Next Friday

“Mamacita, get off those tables, I need to clean them,” Leo huffed, holding a spray bottle threateningly and a cloth in his other hand. Calypso, giggling and giddy hopped off the table. She watched as Leo quickly sprayed it down before wiping it. 

“Are you checking me out?” Leo’s smug voice cut through Calypso’s thoughts, snapping her out of mind. Her initial reaction was to stutter and wildly deny it however today at 7pm, she felt more bold than usual and decided to tease him a bit.

“So what if I was?” 

Leo almost froze at the bold response, not expecting the reaction from her. They’d been officially going out for one week and so far, Calypso had been quite shy. A kiss on the cheek here and there, a bit of innocent flirting but no one had really openly confessed their feelings. It was obvious to everyone around them that they liked each other but they seemed determined to have the other say it first. 

“Well if you were… " He turned around to see her smirking with both hands on her hips. He was not losing to Calypso- he would make her confess her feelings first if it was the last thing he did. She sat herself on the counter behind her and beckoned Leo forward with her finger. He raised an eyebrow at the bold move but obliged. 

Leo stood between Calypso’s thighs, his hands slipping around her waist. Their faces were close enough that if Calypso and Leo both moved their head slightly forward, they’d be kissing. Funnily enough, they both had started eating mints and chewing gum whenever they’d be with each other as if they were planning the moment. 

“I still can’t believe those pick up lines worked,” Calypso sighed, her hands moving onto Leo’s shoulders, comfortably rubbing them back and forth. 

“Bad Boy supreme is very much offended by those comments.”

“Nu uh. Ever since that blond co-worker of yours told me that your full name is Leonidas...” She paused to unsuccessfully hold in a small laugh. “...That your name is Leonidas, it’s been Leonidas and it will always be Leonidas to me.”

“Not even Leo?” He asked, his eyes entering puppy eyes mode. Calypso remained unimpressed and shook her head. Their eyes locked and they could feel each other's thoughts. Just as their heads were leaning in,the radio behind the counter bugged out and static started blaring everywhere. Calypso wanted to curse god- of coure something just had  to ruin the moment. Immediately, the two students shoved their hands over their ears and Leo jumped over the counter to quickly fix the horrendous noise. A few minutes later, About Love  by Marina started softly playing through the cafe’s speakers. 

The moment seemed like it was manufactured for a movie. The beautiful sunset on the horizon, the romantic music and most of all, Leo’s playful smile as he held his hand out asking Calypso to dance. She, of course, accepted and the two twirled about in each other's arms. They weren’t very good and they kept on stepping on each other's toes but eventually they got into a position where Leo’s hands were wrapped around her waist and Calypso’s arms were thrown around Leo’s neck. 

Leo watched as Calypso closed eyes and softly sang the words to the song under her breath. 

“Started in the strangest way, didn’t see it coming.”

Leo started singing with her, “My head gets messy when I try to hide.”

“The things I love about you in my mind” Their voices were harmonious and in sync. 

“I don’t really know a lot about love, a lot about love, a lot about love but you’re in my head, you’re my blood and it feels so good, it hurts so much.” Calypso had her head leaning on Leo’’s chest and she could hear the steady thumping of his heart quicken.

“Shall I take this as your confession of love to me?” He murmured into her hair. Calypso shot her head up so fast that she almost butted Leo in the chin. 

“Hell no, Leonidas.” 

Yet, as she said those words, her face leaned upwards towards Leo with her intense gaze falling to his lips. They looked soft, supple even and she felt so tempted to reach out and brush them. In fact, she felt so tempted to touch them that she didn’t even notice her actual hand reaching out to brush against his bottom lip. 

Leo had to physically restrain himself from shivering when he felt Calypso’s finger brush over his bottom lip, dragging it back slightly before slowly setting her hand at the side of his face. Slowly, like they were two magnets slowly attracting each other, they leaned in. When they were practically breathing in each other's face, Leo decided to spring one more pick up line on Calypso. 

“Did you know that my lips are skittles?” Leo cut in quickly. Calypso quickly frowned, not catching on. Leo continued, “ And you’re about to taste the rainbow.”

Calypso groaned, throwing her head back while Leo giggled to himself. Sick of chasing each other, Calypso grabbed Leo’s face with both her hands and smashed her lips into his, abruptly shutting him up. To say Leo was surprised would be the understatement of the year. He was in a true state of panic, thinking what he should do with his hands, his lips, his entire being. Her lips moved against his, encouraging him. He wrapped his hands around her waist, both of them moving up her back, pulling her into the kiss. 

They pulled away for a brief second, looking each other in the eye before slamming their lips back together. Had anyone walked in on them, it would have only been appropriate to say that they were devouring each other- their lips pushed and their hands pulled. Their lips moved in sync and Calypso weaved her hands into Leo’s curls. It was demonically passionate as their tongues slipped across each other's lips. The heat of the kiss spread across Calypso’s face- the blush was so obvious, she felt like her lips were on fire. Nothing could have stopped them, not even if the entire world was on fire. 

As they pulled away, Calypso had one more trick up her sleeve. 

“As far I’m concerned, the rainbow tasted pretty damned good,” She remarked, referencing to Leo’s previous pick up line. 

[bondsmagii]

(cw: I'm about to get real crass about CSA because it makes me real mad and that's how I cope)

the cultural reaction to cuties is infuriating to me, especially how even defenders feel the need to criticise the hypersexualised camera shots for ""normalising sexualistion of children in film"". Like, this is a thing that is happening in real life, right now, folks! Real Life Kids commonly do dances like these, in clothes like these, in an attempt to copy adult women being framed in shots like that! That's basically a good fifth of Tik Tok! The shots being of kids instead of adults is intentionally horrific, because it's trying to highlight that that kind of societal gaze is what pressured them to do the dances and wear the clothes and everything else; to take a thing that we've all come to accept as normal (8 year olds online twerking to songs explicitly about sex) and make us see how horrific it is, so people might give a shit for once. (A real shit, not that Pizzagate-adjacent thing where people only bring it up in service of criticising something/someone they already didn't like, and never exploring why it's so prevalent to begin with). You know, the filmic opposite of normalisation?? It's incredibly disappointing that people's takeaway appears to be: "ew gross, look at how horny this camera is for literal children. Glad this absolutely isn't a thing that happens in real life that I will go straight back to ignoring while patting myself on the back for identifying this media as Problematic

And the idea that "a pedophile could get off to this" makes any sense as criticism! I guess pedophiles only get off to children in revealing clothing, huh? So all children need to do to avoid pedophiles is, uh... *checks notes* "dress less slutty". I *wish* I lived in a world where pedophiles were genuinely waiting on feature films to deliver them a few shots of children in revealing clothing, instead of trading real CP that has caused untold suffering. Sometimes it really feels like people are more invested in weaponising the idea of suffering children in rhetoric, rather than the welfare of real children. It's the same disconnect that makes it impossible to bring up things like early intervention programs for pedophiles without being called a pedophile yourself (a rich thing to call someone who was on the receiving end, and takes about a year off my lifespan every time).

Every time someone brings this movie up, I feel like I'm losing my marbles. Otherwise smart and insightful people seem completely willing to misread it in the most infuriating way possible. It's like it's the Asch conformity test, and I'm the rube in the last chair wondering whether I even watched the same movie as them. It's comforting to see at least one other person on this godforsaken planet comprehending that The Sexualised Children Shots Are Horrific On Purpose in this movie trying to push people out of complacency

honestly go off like I could not have said this better myself. this is exactly what's been pissing me off about the response to this movie and my post about it in general.

the cultural reaction to cuties is infuriating to me, especially how even defenders feel the need to criticise the hypersexualised camera shots for ""normalising sexualistion of children in film"". Like, this is a thing that is happening in real life, right now, folks! Real Life Kids commonly do dances like these, in clothes like these, in an attempt to copy adult women being framed in shots like that! That's basically a good fifth of Tik Tok!

this is what I cannot get my head around. like, people are freaking out over how this movie normalises the sexualisation of young children, but somehow miss the point that it's already been normalised. the movie would not be necessary if this hadn't already become a completely normal part of society. even walking around the shops in town I see children maybe 10 or 11 years old dressed like Instagram models, faces full of makeup, revealing clothing... it's honestly disturbing. these kids think that's acceptable, they think that's what they need to do in order to have worth, and it's terrifying. if I had my own children, I would be terrified for them. the movie is not the problem. why people can't direct this anger and outrage to websites like TikTok instead, I have no idea. probably because that would require actual work, and we all know these people are addicted to outrage and self-righteousness and absolutely allergic to any kind of effort to create real change.

It's incredibly disappointing that people's takeaway appears to be: "ew gross, look at how horny this camera is for literal children. Glad this absolutely isn't a thing that happens in real life that I will go straight back to ignoring while patting myself on the back for identifying this media as Problematic"

people get so offended when they're made to feel uncomfortable. I have no idea why. I'm trying to work out this thought process but it's simply beyond me. it baffles me that people can see something that's actually happening in the world, and instead of getting angry about the actual issue, they decide to attack the female director of the movie about said issue, who is writing from her own experience. like, how in god's name these people managed to miss the point so badly, I do not know. the manoeuvres they had to do to miss a point that big and obvious should make them all automatic gold medal winners in Olympic gymnastics.

(I do think that a lot of people yelling the loudest about Cuties have probably only seen the Netflix promotional poster and then devoured a bunch of Twitter threads highlighting the apparent problems and possibly a view video essays on YouTube showing the most dramatic and out of context shots of the girls, however.)

And the idea that "a pedophile could get off to this" makes any sense as criticism! I guess pedophiles only get off to children in revealing clothing, huh? So all children need to do to avoid pedophiles is, uh... *checks notes* "dress less slutty". I *wish* I lived in a world where pedophiles were genuinely waiting on feature films to deliver them a few shots of children in revealing clothing, instead of trading real CP that has caused untold suffering.

right? like. this point is so fucking useless. by this logic, we should ban everything with photos of children in it. if a paedophile is going to waste time going to see a full feature movie just to see some young girls twerking-- I mean, why would they in the first place? why would a paedophile do that when they can just sign on to TikTok and see thousands of hours of footage of young girls twerking? and if "revealing clothing" is all it takes, what's stopping this paedophile from going to the local pool and watching the kids in swimwear? what's stopping this paedophile from going and picking up a clothing catalogue and flipping to the pictures of little girls in dresses? the fact that people can compare the content of a feature-length film to actual CP fucking baffles me. like. it's actually insulting to compare things like that -- and by extension, any child on the street in a t-shirt or a dress or a skirt or a swimsuit -- to actual CP. like, who looks at a kid and thinks like that? if you want to stop paedophiles being creeps, you'd have to lock kids up in the house until they're 18 and ban all depictions of kids forever. paedophiles are gonna be creeps no matter what, and they're not going to bother with a full film when they can log onto TikTok and comment something creepy on footage of a real life child who might even message back and enter into communication with them. like, damn. why aren't more people getting mad and outraged about that?

Sometimes it really feels like people are more invested in weaponising the idea of suffering children in rhetoric, rather than the welfare of real children.

they are. "somebody please think of the children" is now the rallying cry of the right (all leading Democrats are secret paedophiles, the LGBT agenda is making Our Innocent Christian Children into perverts) and the left (problematic media is Harming Our Innocent Children, everything needs to be censored and squeaky clean so the Metaphorical Children don't stumble across it and think it's acceptable). it's the quickest way to get people outraged and it works like a charm. as soon as somebody starts rallying under the flag of protecting kids, it gives them a fast pass to power and influence. who wants to be seen to not care about kids? who wants to risk being called a paedophile or a child abuser? unfortunately their eagerness to declare everybody such has resulted in it losing its meaning. now when I see someone accused of paedophilia I no longer feel the usual revulsion but instead a tired suspicion followed by hours of research to determine if they are actually abusing children, or if they ship the wrong thing. to put the numbers into perspective, the one and only time I found out somebody was actually abusing minors, I was genuinely shocked because I had never found a true accusation before in oh, six years? which is unsurprising, seems I have been called a paedophile and told I shouldn't be around children because I like a villain from a YA series. as for real children, none of these people give a shit.

It's comforting to see at least one other person on this godforsaken planet comprehending that The Sexualised Children Shots Are Horrific On Purpose in this movie trying to push people out of complacency

that's exactly it right there -- it's horrific on purpose, but these people can't understand that. to them, literature and art and film is supposed to always make you feel good, and if it doesn't it's mean and abusive and you should have warned for it and also you're an asshole for making it in the first place. for people who only consume media to feel good, and only create it to feel progressive and wholesome, it's inconceivable why people would create something depressing or disturbing. because they're consuming media of only things they like, they assume everyone else is. ergo, if you make something nasty, it's because you're into something nasty. if you write about a murderous villain, it's because you want to be a murderous villain. if you direct a movie about children being sexually exploited, you must want to sexually exploit children.

these people cannot understand that art is supposed to teach and inform as well as comfort and coddle. some art is there to make you feel good, and other art is there to make you take notice of injustice and suffering and make you angry and upset enough to want to do something about it. these people do not understand that at all, and with this kind of logic they would try to ban Holocaust survivors from speaking at schools because it's too upsetting to think about, rather than paying attention to the message that such things get across. we cannot change society without empathy, and to experience empathy for something outside our own understanding and experience, we need to come into contact with people who have lived through it. we need to see it depicted. that's how we learn to feel for others. it puts a face to the suffering and makes it easier to stay motivated and stay mad.

but no. these people just want to be nice and fuzzy and safe. that's all that matters to them, and anyone who thinks they're wrong for doing it must be a paedophile or something. right. gotcha.

[ziracona]

What has been your favorite ilm chapter to write? Your least favorite? Do you have any interesting fun facts that were in cut pieces? I love this fic and the research put in is astounding. You put so much love into this. I'm glad to have been a reader :)

Thank you so much for asking this, and I’m really happy you have liked it! : ) Researching all kinds of wild stuff has been one of the most fun parts. (I’m holding the start of the answer to each question you asked, bc I talked about the first one for a while lol).

I do have a favourite chapter! I think to read, it would be a lot harder question, and there’d be a bunch of chapters tied, but as an author, my favourite chapter is most definitely Speak for the Dead. I have a lot of favourite moments and chapters, but that’s the one I’m most proud of. There’s a really rare thing in writing I call “script perfection,” which is not like, a perfect script in comparison to other scripts, it just means the version of the script that got shot/published was the best version of that particular script there ever could have been. It’s incredibly rare, and very hard to do. Even with films and shows I love, usually there will be seconds, sometimes minutes, off and on, that are the best version of those seconds there could have ever been. And the rest of it is great! It’s maybe the second or third or eighth-best it could have been, and that’s still super impressive--like man--eigth-best is still so close to 1st, eigth best is freaking phenomenal. It’s something to be really proud of. But that’s as high as it almost ever gets. For anything. Only extremely rarely is an entire script at 96% or above on script perfection. (I would say for reference that Galaxy Quest and The Incredibles are two such films).

It isn’t the most important part of a script or a story at all. Not by a huge amount. The quality of the story itself is. I have plenty of films that never hit 90% or above script perfection that I still prefer over films that did (like, Galaxy Quest is an amazing film, and I’m in awe that it hit that level of refinement, but I still like The Two Towers, which definitely did not, better. Because Sam’s speech at the end of it is enough to power me for a whole year). But it’s still such a rare thing. And god, it’s hard. Any kind of media is done on some kind of budget (be it financial or energy or both), and time constraint, and also it’s just not easy to do. Again, true-final-draft achievement (which is probably a better name for this bc it’s less confusing) is far from the most important or valuable aspect of a film, or play, or book, and it’s not necessary to make a story amazing. But it’s still always /so/ cool to see. It’s cool to see a nine minute continuous stretch of it even, on screen. And out of all the chapters I’ve written, the only one I think hit true-final-draft at least 96% or above, was Speak for the Dead. And that’s not embarrassing or anything. It’s wild. And I’m super proud of that. I’m proud I got even one. Because a lot of even my favourite books don’t. They just have perfected scenes, and a lot of them, but are not the best draft they could have been. Which does absolutely nothing to negate their worth as phenomenal books, but. I’m really, really proud of Speak for the Dead, and very happy with myself for having been able to do that at least once. I kind of treasure that.

It’s also a special chapter to me, because I had it only very loosely outlined/planned for at all, and it kind of came together on its own, and everything just came together and fell into place just right, and this chapter I had been really unsure of before starting turned into my favourite one in the entire fic. I like what I write, and I enjoy reading it myself, but there’s a line in Speak for the Dead where Tapp is trying to explain everything to Meg, about himself and his past and his family, and he’s been going through this like, awful mass of confusion and trauma and guilt and regret that’s all come to a head in this one day, and he’s found out who Amanda is and can’t deal with that and the person he knew, and the way Sing died, the choices she went on to make, and there’s so much even he doesn’t understand about how the world is falling apart around him, but somehow he figures it out enough to say it to Meg. And he has a line: “You’re supposed to stay late and work the extra eight hours overnight to catch the killer so somebody doesn’t die; you’re not supposed to go home to your family and give your kid a hug. It’s not as important, in an equation. It was my responsibility. And I didn’t get that the other job had its own set of rules. That the cop’s supposed to let the bus with his partner fall, but the dad’s supposed to let the fifteen people go and save his kid—he’s supposed to go running through crowded subway tunnels chased by gunmen, consequences be damned, to get them away from where his kid’s hiding. I didn’t get it. I don’t know why. I loved him right, but I didn’t act like it, because I thought I was doing the right thing. But if everybody’s just numbers, you lose anything that matters, no matter how high the numbers go up. And you don’t realize until it’s way too late that you do just as much good really helping one person you signed on to protect as you could have ever done bouncing off the lives of a hundred people who go on to be the next Jigsaw.”

And like. I fucking love that line. God. It’s such a hard thing to articulate, what he’s going through in that moment, and I try, but I think I often don’t do as good a job. But every time I read that last line it’s like a gut punch. And I really love it. How the fuck could you possibly feel after going through the experience he’s just had? It’s such a specific, indescribable kind of big, whole-world-view devestating.

There’s also a lot of really sweet moments with Meg, and Adam drugged and injured but trying really hard to help, and it’s a super understated chapter in a lot of the moments? Tapp’s one of my favourites to write, because of the way he thinks. He tries so hard to be lawful good in a world where there’s just no law at all anymore. And he’s older by far than anyone else, and thinks about the world that way. Honestly, it’s one of the most serious chapters. It’s less graphic than say Proven or The End of the Line, but it deals with some very not remotely fantastic and not pretty themes. It’s heavy. But I like the way it tells itself. I enjoy working in references when they make things fun, or better, or more meaningful, and I got to do that a lot. Plus, it gave Ace and Tapp a bunch of one-on-one time they didn’t really get on-screen as much in any of the rest of the fic, but I really loved it. The way they try to look after the people they care for, and how they understand each other. I just really fucking loved that chapter. Also, Tapp beat someone to death with a reverse bear trap that was still attached to his head so he could save Meg from dying in a way that would be super lastingly traumatic, and if that’s not the most metal thing I’ve ever heard? I really love Tapp. And I love that he sticks to the things he does. Meg never learns what Amanda was going to do to her, not in fic, not after. And Tapp does change how he does things are talking to Meg at the end of that chapter. Tapp’s the one who immediately says they can’t go public with any information on Rin until she’s passed on, even though it could really help them prove their case and hypothetically better protect the world, because he’s not willing to see a kid forced to revert to being violent and feral against her will in self-defense, or locked up in a government black site to get that. He did good. Life has not been kind to this poor man, but thankfully, Meg Thomas has.

Least favourite? Way harder. Hmmm. Always whichever one I wrote most recently 😂

In complete seriousness, I don’t think I have one? I have like 6 I consider “slightly-less-interesting” than the rest, but I don’t have one I hate period, or just dislike a lot. Uhhhh. If I had to pick one right now, I’d say Core Essentials, because I haven’t read it in over a year and don’t remember it as well as many others, and of the small number of chapters in the “Damn, been a hot minute, huh?” group, it’s the one I remember the least. This rating may change next time I actually read it, lol.

Hmmm. Interesting fun facts in cut segments. In the original draft for Shrouded, Claudette went into Philip’s basement and got a really good look at the other side of the wall, through one of the cracks, and saw the Entity and almost gave herself a panic attack. The other side of the basement wall was described as looking like the sun, like just looking at light, but only at first, and then there was movement like a snake coiling or some huge creatuer deep underwater sliding across your vision, too big to see, but alive in there in the middle of the light, and moving around, and it horrified her. It was extremely creepy but pretty cool.

The original draft for The Wraith included Philip experiencing fragmented audio memories from Signifying Nothing/his time with Vigo & co. while he was mostly unconscious. It was really cool and I forgot because I haven’t read it in forever, but it hinted at /way/ more of the plot to those past events. I really liked the draft, but ended up changing it into what was published because I’d never done anything with his memories before, and I didn’t want to disorient the reader too much (probably a good call, but it was still a neat scene in the OG form).

It’s not in the fic, but canonically, after leaving the survivors camp at the end of The Wraith, Philip came up with his plan to leave himself a message in the bell, and then called the Entity. Trying to talk his way out immediately failed, and it was shitty to him and pissed him off, and Philip had considered what might work on something like the Entity before calling it, and knew he was dead either way, so he tried to fight it. More to see if it would work than anything. He knew he would forget it even if he did, but sometimes impulses lingered, and it was possible if it worked, it would help him think of it again. He used his blood and drew a protective symbol against demons on his palm without it noticing, then rushed it, and it wasn’t scared of him so it didn’t give a fuck, but he smacked it with the charm and that actually succeeded in burning its talon (very little, but enough to cause it actual pain) and it flipped out and got extremely angry, and immediately stabbed him through the skull, which is why he returned with that chunk of his mask gone and has a scar on his forehead now. Originally, I was considering writing some of the events between The Wraith and Dawn from Philip’s POV, but decided it was much better sticking with the survivors and their uncertainty completely. Got to live in the anxiety baybeeee.

I’m sure there’s more but you activated my trap card asking about Speak for the Dead - a special interest- and I already made this long, so I should stop for now. Thank you again so much for asking! I hope my answers made sense are we’re at least kinda enjoyable to read. 💙💙💙