#actually shaking rn btw. that happened right in front of me and it was so fast. what the fuck

[pepprs]

completely normal developments right now. completely. this is fine

[tiredcatboysinc]

Remembrance of a coffee order

Urghhh (* ´ ﹃｀*) My side hurts like so furking bad rn, and I think it's from where I haven't slept... It's 6am btw (๑-﹏-๑)

It's fiiine... I'll go to sleep soon... Maybe (ᵕ—ᗜ—) Anyways, here's an Allan Red/Reader because I think there's not enough of them in the world!!! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

ao3

“By the way, can you grab me a coff-” “Here.”

Allan places the cup in front of you, stopping your sentence prematurely. In truth, with the number of times you’d asked that critter to get coffee, you shouldn’t be shocked he knew your order by heart. Still, you were a bit touched that Allan cared as much as he did to remember. With how Allan kept up that wall, that facade of disinterest towards you, in reality, you knew he cared. You could tell by the little things he did, namely, remembering small details like your coffee order…

It wasn’t a big thing, it shouldn’t have made you smile as wide as it did. But it did. You smiled, chuckling softly under your breath as you plucked the coffee from the break room counter. A hum of amusement poured from your lips, another giggling falling from them soon after. Allan raised a brow, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. Allan wasn’t stupid, far from it in actuality. He knew when you were being mischievous, or, better yet, when you were catching on to him. 

His eyes narrowed into small slits, a hum-like grunt of disapproval rumbling his throat. A soft hue lit his cheeks, the embarrassment creeping up his spine. If Allan was right, and normally he was about these things, you had read his ass like a book. He adjusts his tie, fidgeting slightly, all his fidgety and nervous manners elicited a much louder chuckle out of you. You cover your mouth with your free hand, a wide grin crinkling your skin in amusement. 

If anyone was the worst at keeping their cool, it was probably Allan. He could win an award for ‘worst at keeping their cool around their crush who happens to be their coworker’, maybe even multiple with how cute he looked while losing it. Allan shoots a look over at you, another disgruntled grunt leaving from lips. “What are you laughing at? Nothing is funny.” He grumbles in that monotone voice, his tone overflowing with a bright red embarrassment. 

You almost felt bad for the guy… key word being almost. Look, he just looked so damn cute. You take a small sip from your coffee, shrugging shallowly as you grin at the fidgety critter. “Nothing, nothing at all…” You grin, taking another sip from the iced coffee.

Allan grumbles again, finally flatting his tie out and shaking his hands to quiet his fidgeting. He shifts on his feet, now refusing to make eye contact under any circumstances. His cheeks are bright red, brighter than his skin. If you touched them you could feel how hot they were, burning like a train's engines. Of course, you were the coal that fueled that train's engine as of current. No, you were the only coals that fueled that engine. You’d never seen Allan blush this hard, let alone get embarrassed over anything this small if it weren’t tied to you. The thought made you smile a little, a devious smile of course. 

A small flood of giggles flowed from your open lips, your hand just barely covering them. Allan grumbled in embarrassment, that adorable grumble he almost did when he knew you’d never let him live something down. It was a hoarse noise, almost gravelly yet soft. He always muffled it, ducking his face into his hands to hide.

As the surge of your giggle fit came to a slow end, you came to pat Allan on the back. Your palm rubbed his shoulder tenderly, moving in soothing circles. A warm smile spread across your face as you looked at him, poking at his covered face with the hand that held your coffee still. Begrudgingly, Allan lifted his head slightly away from the safety of his palms. His brows were knitted tightly, and a small grimace laid on his overbite lips. You hummed approvingly, patting his shoulder softly. You examined his face for a moment, with how close you were you could feel the heat radiating off him. Another hum leaves you, this one of more satisfaction. Allan’s brows furrowed more, his suspicions growing by the second.

“What are you plan-” 

This time, you were the one to cut him off. A careful kiss is laid on his cheek, just a few inches from his lips. As you pull back you can see the gears turn in his head, an eruption almost going off in that brain of his.

“I’ll treat you to coffee next time, okay?”

[shuniverse]

pick me up ,,| l.f

a/n: i’m doing these in a different font style now lol. but i wrote this on the spot because i’m just so done with life rn. i’m not going through personal internal issues, but needless to say this drabble will kinda sum things up. also this is written in lowercase on purpose, just btw

1.1k words

involves felix because he’s one of my biggest comforts next to channie.

the basic gist is of parents fighting and reader having to leave because of it, but it doesn’t explicitly show what they’re saying, so no descriptions of abusive language.

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

you can’t do it anymore. the constant yelling, the fighting. you wish you had enough money to leave, but seeing as you’re job only pays so much and your parents seem to want you to stay, you’re stuck.

you’re in your room, blankets tucked over your head trying to drown them out as you at least attempt sleep, but it doesn’t work. the banging, the clattering, the constant berating and degrading and just pure hatred seeming to spew out of your parents mouths is too much.

you don’t know what else to do, so you call your boyfriend, seeing as it’s your only option. you pull out your phone, the brightness of your lock screen blinding you momentarily in the dark cocoon of your blankets. once your eyes have adjusted, you unlock your phone and head right to his number.

you: lixie come get me please

lix ❤️🍪: ok honey! what’s wrong? is it happening again?

you can’t bring yourself to answer at first, tears pricking again at your already puffy eyes.

you: yes pls come get me i can’t do this anymore

he sends two thumbs up emojis, and one little heart, attempting at trying to be gentle, which he always is. felix is someone you never thought you’d have, but you’re sure as hell not letting him go.

about 10 minutes later, there’s a text on your screen.

lix ❤️🍪: I’m here baby. take your time, I’m in no rush, I love you

you smile at his text, and send just a heart emoji. he doesn’t press for more of a response.

your tugging on your converse, the ones your mom bought you. they’re dirty, but functionable. you tie the laces loosely, tugging on your (felix’s) hoodie, grab your phone and bbokari plush and leave quietly out of your room. your parents are in the kitchen, and you shrink down while they’re shouting, not even noticing you leave. you sneak out the front door, and jog the small distance to felix’s car.

as you get in, you’re greeted by felix in all his beautiful glory in the drivers seat, looking to be disheveled and anxious. as soon as he sees you and your in your seat and shut the door, he grabs you and brings you in for a comforting, yet very snug, hug, breathing shakily into your hair.

“are you okay? are you hurt?” he pulls away, inspecting your features, his face softening just a bit as he sees the hoodie and plush sticking out of the hood haphazardly. sighing and brushing your hair back, he plants a gentle kiss against your forehead.

you shake your head at his question, and rest your head on his shoulder, tears in dry streaks down your face, your eyes red still. “no, they never touch me when they get like this.” you look up at him, and hold one of his ringed hands. “thank you, lixie.”

he smiles warmly, kissing your cheek. “any time, sweetheart.” his deep, soothing voice comforts you, and you snuggle against his shoulder

“can we go now? i don’t-“

before you can finish your sentence, felix is driving off. he intertwines his fingers with yours, kissing the back of your hand. “let’s head home, yeah?”

you smile. you’ve gotten used to calling felix’s apartment your home, it’s comforting. better than your actually home, where every other night it seems like you’re woken up by yelling.

after 10 minutes of comfortable silence, you’re walking up with felix to his apartment.

you don’t even expect a “come home” text from one of your parents tonight. if they haven’t noticed you leaving, they certainly won’t notice that you’re gone.

sitting on his couch, you’re watching on of your favorite comfort movies, an old Disney movie from when you were young. snuggled up against your boyfriend, you feel a surprising buzz of your phone. you reach for it, and pull it out to see, surprisingly, a “come home. please.” not from your mom, nor your dad. no, it’s from your brother. he never texts you.

you sigh, replying with:

you: im sorry, im at felix’s. you can call your girlfriend to get you?

the question is genuine, and he replies back almost immediately.

brother boy: I’ve tried but she won’t respond. they’re getting louder. can you help me?

you: I can ask one of the boys? I know you’re close to some of them. want me to call jeongin?

brother boy: sure. that works. just anything to get my out of this shit hole

you look at felix, who’s been gazing at you with a curious look in his beautiful brown eyes. “what’s the matter, sweetheart?”

“my brother needs to leave too. can you call innie?”

he nods immediately, grabbing his phone and calling jeongin.

they’re talking, and in a little less than a minute he’s ended the call. “innie’s on his way. good thing him and your brother are friends, huh?”

you nod, a small smile on your face before you look back at your phone for a second. the screen is notification free.

you open your messages and shoot your brother a text.

you: hey, jeongin’s coming to get you. he’ll be there quick, don’t worry okay?

brother boy: okay- oh, I think I see his car on the other side of the street. I’ll climb out the window.

you: no! just go out the door, I went out the back door. they didn’t even notice, you’ll be okay.

brother boy: ok. thank you

you: no problem. have fun with jeongin

he sends a thumbs up. you look up at felix, and kiss his jaw, making him smile. “thank you for helping me, lixie.”

he nods, kissing your forehead. “the least I could do, baby.”

you yawn, and he gently rubs your shoulder before scooting down a bit to lay you both down on the couch, and he pulls a soft blanket over top of you. he snuggles bbokari in your free arm, on the open side of the couch. “let’s get some rest, yeah?”

you nod sleepily against his chest, snuggling into it.

he kisses your head. “I love you, sleep good baby.”

you mumble something, and felix giggles, before wrapping his arms around you, holding you close as you both drift off to sleep.

you wish you didn’t have to run to him every time your parents fought, but you’re glad he’s there anyways. you’re parents fighting is shoved to the back of your head as you fall asleep, but you know you’ll have to talk to them tomorrow.

but tomorrow is the last thing in your mind.

——————————————————————————

hope you guys enjoyed!

please know that if you guys are dealing with things like this, and it’s getting bad, please don’t be afraid to tell somebody. this is a serious thing. my parents aren’t exactly innocent in this department, and I hate to have to hear it, and I don’t want the same for any of my readers or any others living with their parents.

this was a way for me to express my emotions through writing, involving someone who brings me much comfort. call it a coping mechanism, if you will. I hope people who are struggling can find a happy coping mechanism as well, and I wish you all the best <3

stay safe!

[getawayaccount]

Note: First part of a one-shot I'm working on rn. The idea just doesn't want to leave me alone. I'll post the full thing on AO3 when it's done. Btw, I'm not forgetting your prompts guys, I'll get around to writing them, between RPs and mostly, looking for a job, I haven't had a lot of time (or energy) to work on fics.

Connor had started to lose track of time when Will walked into the room. He had been sitting there for five to six hours - and by ‘there’, he meant an increasingly uncomfortable armchair in the yet ‘deluxe hybrid maternity room’ of Med’s NICU - practicing Kangaroo Care with Natalie’s latest patient: a newborn foundling girl who had been found in a dumpster barely three streets away from the hospital.

Connor had been on his way out when he had heard of her. He had stopped to greet his friends, both Natalie and, more surprisingly, Maggie standing in front of the baby’s room, and had arrived right in time to hear Natalie say said-newborn was unlikely to make it. She was withdrawing from whatever cocktail her mother had been on and her spirit seemed to have been crushed by all that had happened to her in the hours following her birth.

When Connor had asked if anything could be done, Natalie had mentioned Skin-on-Skin contact, and for whatever reason - he was yet to identify - Connor had volunteered himself. Which was how he ended up sitting there, with a newborn laying on his naked chest, rather than resting in his own bed at home.

“I’m gonna be honest, I had no idea you were expecting,” Will joked.

Connor couldn’t help but snort, somehow amused.

“Yeah, I actually just got a call from Discovery, they want me featured on the next season of I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant,” he replied.

Will laughed, shaking his head as he leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms on his chest, and, for yet another strange and unnamed reason, Connor felt lighter.

“Pretty sure that show was canceled ages ago though,” Will added a moment later.

“I wouldn’t know,” Connor said. His voice was dripping with sarcasm. “I never watched it.”

“Right,” Will answered, visibly unconvinced. He paused briefly before he said: “Shift’s over by the way. Nat’s looking for someone to replace you.”

“What? No,” Connor started. He was frowning. “She barely got used to me, I can’t just hand her off to yet another stranger. I said I would do this and I will -”

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell her, alright,” Will interrupted Connor’s escalating monologue. “In the meantime, do you need anything? Water? Coffee, maybe?”

“I could use another blanket actually,” Connor replied.

He was pouting slightly. Will frowned.

“Are you cold?”

“Not really but -” Connor started.

“You’re falling asleep,” Will cut in.

“I’m not,” Connor protested.

“You are,” Will replied. He still left his place on the threshold to look for a blanket in the dresser. “How long have you been up anyway?”

“Twenty-six hours, give or take,” Connor answered.

“Connor.”

“What?” Connor said. “I’m not opening anyone’s chest, I’m just sitting there, the equivalent of a human incubator.”

“What about your next shift -” Will started.

However, Natalie chose that moment to stop by:

“Hey,” she said. “I still haven’t found anyone yet but -”

“Don’t bother,” Connor interrupted her. “I’m staying, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure..?” Natalie trailed off.

“Yeah,” Will piped up. “And, actually, so am I. That way, you’ll get some sleep too.”

He said that last part looking at Connor who studied him for a moment before he shrugged.

[flowerx-lovex]

adore 🌟🍃 -Billie Eilish fic-

This was requested by @bratyee and it was such a good ass request ✨ i blow ass bc im so mfing slow I’m sorry 🥺🥺 btw lets say your ass is on stranger things and your best friend is Clairo bc i love her ass💀 basic I know but ily

New text from:

Claire🦋

Claire🦋: oh my god y/n have you fucking seen the interview where billie says your her celeb crush??? omfgggggg

Me: dude what??

Claire🦋: here I’ll send you the link you’re gonna flip tf out (link)

I open the link which takes me to a video of billie and an interviewer from teen vogue

It starts out with her answering questions about her music and what she plans on doing in the future and then it gets to more personal questions

“So we really want to know... who is your celebrity crush?” The interviewer asks her, Billie starts to blush and smirks a little

“Um y/n y/l/n no cap I’m serious I’ve had a crush on her ass since the very beginning of stranger things ugh she could GEETTT ITTTT” she starts laughing

“Oh my god” I say out loud, is she actually serious?

For a couple of months now, ever since ST3 came out, she’s been subtweeting/not so subtweeting about her crush on me which I’ve completely returned the favor too, I mean she’s billie fucking eilish and she’s hot as fuck of course I’m going to flirt back with her even if it’s on public social media

We haven’t talked or anything, I’ve wanted to reach out and say something but my shy ass could never

Some fans have caught on, but some haven’t, and of course the ones who haven’t certainly know now

I immediately close the video and go onto twitter to see if there is any commentary about the interview.. and of course... there is

‘Billie x y/n’ is trending on twitter, shit

I bite my lip and decide to message Claire back

Me: is this shit for real?

Claire🦋: i know it’s crazy asf you two HAVE to meet

Me: are you shitting me? how??

Claire🦋: message her on insta?? duh??

Me: oh shit lmao you right

I quickly go to Instagram but then stop myself, wait what the fuck do I even say? I don’t want to sound weird. What if I say something creepy and then she thinks I’m-

*ding*

Oh shit

billieeilish: hi... so you have probably seen the interview and we are trending rn im sorry if that shit made you uncomfortable

Me: omfg no actually I’m not uncomfortable at all, I’m flattered babe really

billieeilish: are you sure?

Me: very! tbh I’ve had a crush on you since your first album came out 🥺

billieeilish: deadass? you should have said something dude!

Me: ME? omfg im shy asfff and I saw you posting shit about me why didn’t YOU say something?

billieeilish: ...lmao i was scared you’re pretty as fuck

Me: we should like go on a date or some cute shit like that... jk unlessssss

billieeilish: oh my fuck yesssss we definitely should go on a date what are you doing tomorrow??

Me: literally nothing omfg am I actually going to see your ass tomorrow?

billieeilish: do you like coffee shops? let’s go to civil coffee their shit is soooo good and no one ever goes there

Me: adore them

billieeilish: then yeah tf you are seeing my ass tomorrow im about to fall the fuck over i can’t believe I’m going to meet you

Me: aww omfg same 🥰🥰🥰 give me a time and I’ll be there babe

billieeilish: is 10am okay?

Me: it’s perfect I’ll see you there yeah?

billieeilish: of course 🖤

Holy shit this is actually happening, I’m actually going to see her

I text Claire screenshots of the chat and she is legit flipping her shit but then again so am I.

This will be very interesting

*next day*

I drive to the little coffee shop in the lowkey part of town and park in a little parking spot in front of the shop there is hardly anybody here except like 2 old peop- oh my fuck I see her, she’s in the back and she’s sitting alone, aww she looks nervous ugh and I’m already shaking, why am I shaking? She’s a human just like I am... a really cute human, who I happen to have a massive crush on shit okay just chill the fuck out, take a deep breath... let’s go

I get out of my car and take another very shaky breath

I open the shop door and hear a little ding as it opens basically telling everyone I’m here.

Billie looks up when she hears the ding, our eyes meet and she smiles really big, I smile back and wave

I quickly walk over to the table and sit across from her

She’s even prettier in person, her eyes are the most gorgeous shade of blue and she has such a calm yet bold presence, it’s hard to explain but I’m already catching major feels and we haven’t even spoken yet

“Hi i was wondering if i could get your autograph I’m a huge fan” I say jokingly, my cheeks hurt so bad from trying not to smile too hard

She bites her lip, I can see she’s also trying not to smile like a crazy person either

“I can’t believe I’m actually in front of you right now I mean shit oh my god you’re real.” She said laughing, I can see her checking me out, in a flattering way and in an analyzing way

“I hope I didn’t disappoint.” I say and wink, she shakes her head and smirks

“You’re pretty as fuck like my heart hurts oh my god I know that sounds fucking corny.” She says, she smiles and rolls her eyes

“Shush stop you’re gonna make me blush and then I’m going to get really red and ew.” I say with a smile and look away from her for a moment

We talk about a bunch of different things, her music, what she did when she was little, what I did when I was little, why I got into acting, what I think about social media, what she likes and dislikes and a bunch of other random topics. It doesn’t hit me that we’ve been talking for legit hours until I hear a phone.

It’s her phone that starts to ring, she looks at the the screen and then to me

“Oh shit it’s finneas um can you give me a second babe?” She asks me, my heart does a little jump at the nickname

“Of course.” I say with a nod and smile, she smiles back then gets up to go to the bathroom.

I wait there for a couple minutes before she comes back, she doesn’t sit down tho

“I’m so sorry but I have to go, finneas just told me that I have some dumb ass interview tomorrow and I totally forgot about it.” She tells me, my smile drops

I get up from the chair I was in so we are now a little bit closer and face to face

“Okay um do you maybe want to get together again someti-“ she cuts me off before I can finish my sentence

“Uh Fuck yessss” she says, I laugh and nod

“Okay just text me yeah.” I tell her, she nods and bites her lip

I’ve been staring at her lips the entire time we’ve been here, am I honestly THAT whipped already? It’s only been 3 hours

She notices me staring and smirks a bit

“Follow me.” She says, she grabs my hand and our fingers interlock, I follow her as we go out the back door of the coffee shop and we stop at her car

“Get in babe.” She says, I smile and feel my heart start to beat a little faster

I get inside the car and start to laugh a little “What about finneas and your interview?” I ask her still giggling

She also starts to laugh and rolls her eyes

“He’ll have to come find my ass I guess and honestly fuck that interview they just ask you the same shit over and over.” She jokes

After we both got done laughing and calmed down we then sat in a comfortable silence

I can feel the tension growing a little

I look over a little to see her hand resting on her thigh, the rings on her fingers look so good... she looks so good, I bite my lip and start feeling bold

“I honestly really like you.” I say with a slight laugh, the laugh gets cut short because I can feel her hand gently turn my face to hers, our eyes meeting, and I can feel the coldness of her rings, oh shit I’m catching fucking feelings, she rubs my cheek with her thumb and smiles

“Kiss me.. I dare you.” She teases, she licks her lips and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth

My heart is beating fast and I smirk

“And if I don’t?” I ask, she leans in to me, our lips only centimeters apart

“Pussy.” She whispers jokingly, she presses her lips to mine and starts to kiss me softly

She’s so warm and soft, my heart melts and I’m on cloud 9, I’m way too soft for her

She pulls away, both of us a little breathless

She starts to smile which causes me to also smirk a bit

“Wow I guess I really can get it huh.” I say my breath still shaking a bit

“Oh my fucking god shut up, put your seatbelt on we are going on a fucking adventure.” She starts to laugh, she sits back in her seat and turns on the car.

My cheeks are burning and I can’t stop from smiling. She gets on the road and puts on music, she turns it up as loud as she can.

I get my phone from my back pocket and video her and I singing and acting like dumb asses and post it on my insta story and tagging her.... billie x y/n is going to be trending for awhile.

im sorry if this was bad 🥴 ew and I’m so slow lmao okay anyways 💞✨✨💞💞 😌oof and she’s(the story) also long tho

[ncityislove]

The Jury is Out Ch. 2

➳Pairing: Renjun x Reader x Jeno (ft a few other Dreamies)

➳Genre: fluff/ angst

➳Word Count: 7K

➳ Warnings: under age drinking, mentions of infidelity

Previous Chapter  Third Chapter Next Chapter

You were used to working with the guy you despise most in the world on a day to day basis but one day all that changes when you have to work together after school for two weeks. Was it crazy to want to be friends with your enemy? Was it possible to be something...more?

A/N: Sorry about the slow uploads. I’m trying to work on my motivation to write rn :/ Hopefully the next part will be up soon!

***STORY HAS BEEN RE-EDITED

The halls are cramped and chilly as you squeeze in between groups of people obnoxiously standing in the center of the walkway. Today is finally Friday, meaning you could rest at home for the next two days. Heaven knows you needed it given how shitty your week has been. You were incredibly exhausted and you couldn't figure out why, considering you overslept literally every morning. Not to mention, you were still pissed at Renjun for leaving you to work on the booth by yourself. To be frank, you just weren't in the mood today.

You trudge through the open door of your first period and sit in your seat, readjusting your headband. Renjun makes an appearance shortly afterwards, his oversized backpack brushing the doorframe—seriously, what a nerd—and you promptly look down at your phone, not wanting to give him any attention. If he thought you were going to let this one go he was dead wrong.

Class starts and Mrs. Brookes walks in with an arm full of papers. "Good morning, everyone! It's quiz time!!"

You jolt awake at that, the quiz seeming to have completely slipped your mind. You even forgot to study last night, falling asleep before you got the chance to start on the rest of your homework. You rub your tired eyes, trying to remember all the materials you learned in the past week but it was so hard to function at such an early hour.

You groan, laying your head down on the table just as Renjun approaches and places a scantron on the top of your head. You sit up in your chair, the paper sliding off onto the black surface in front of you, to find Renjun studying you with an odd look on his face. Maybe he was still feeling queasy from the lab yesterday?

"Were you...did you start on the booth yesterday?"

You roll your eyes to sky, picking up your pencil to fill out your name. Renjun stands there for a moment until he realizes he won’t be getting an answer and moves on to the next table. You feel a small sense of victory. Could that have been remorse that you'd seen on his face? You shake your head, immediately dismissing the thought. Impossible.

Ha, as if he was capable of such an emotion!

Well, whatever it was, it was obvious he wasn't proud of his actions yesterday. He looked like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs, his head hanging low as he passed out papers to the students. He really needed to get that temper of his in check.

Mrs. Brookes passes out the quizzes shortly after Renjun finishes passing out scantrons and starts a timer. You quickly get to work, thoroughly mulling over the questions and answers. Not even five minutes into testing, Renjun stands up to turn in his quiz. Of course, he would be the first one to finish. He always was. You fight the urge to roll your eyes and finish up the last two questions, turning in your paper next.

Sitting back down in your chair, you put your earbuds in, searching for a song to pass the time when you remember your father's orders for you and Sadie to spend more time together. Sadie had been driving you everywhere since she returned, even when it was within walking distance, she insisted.

You [9:32 AM]: are you picking me up today?

You switch back to your music playlist, settling on the first song you saw when your phone buzzed in your hand.

Sadie [9:33 AM]: yep! we're having a sisters night btw and before you ask no you can't get out of it ;)

Your head falls into your hands as you scream internally. Sadie was driving you bonkers from all this 'sister bonding' she's been forcing you into.

-

Haven’s there again at lunch, this time though, there was a long line of people waiting to sign up for the blood drive. You pause, wondering where everyone was when you started sign-ups.

Haven's hair bobs back and forth in her loose top-knot as she nods in conversation with some girl having trouble understanding the process of the blood drive.

"They don't put you to sleep when they take the blood?" the girl asks with a panicked expression.

"No, that's not how blood drives work..."Haven replies, her lips in a thin line.

"If I ask them to, do you think they will?"

Haven rolls her eyes so far back you could only see the whites of her eyeballs. "No. Are you gonna sign-up or not?"

The poor girl looks like she was gonna piss her pants right then and there. She shakes her head no and briskly walks away.

"Next!" Haven shouts.

You sit down in the chair next to Haven and she glances at you, giving you a once-over.

"Cute bracelet. Where'd you get it?"

"Thanks, it was a gift from my sister. I'm not sure where she got it," you reply, fumbling with the charms.

Sadie had bought you the bracelet two Christmases ago and you'd haven’t taken it off since. Not for any reason, in particular, you just thought it looked nice with how plain your uniform was.

After the last person scurries off to their friends, you and Haven start digging in to your lunches.

"So..., "Haven begins. "are you and Renjun together?"

It takes a few seconds for her question to register in your brain and then you’re nearly choke on your PB&J sandwich, dramatically coughing for dear life.

"Together? As in dating??" 

You couldn't even hide how horrified you were by the question. The audacity of her to ask such a heinous question was unsettling. Didn't everyone know you hated each other? Even the teachers knew about your rivalry.

"Not even if he was the last person on Earth," you defend. "Besides, Renjun hates my guts."

"I see," she nods. "But how do you feel about him?"

You stop mid-chew. "Huh?"

"The way you guys talk to each other, I just assumed there was some sort of history there I didn't know about. I mean, he's cute, yeah sure, anyone with eyes can see that but he's also really smart and he's super sweet when he wants to be."

Sweet my ass—

"Hey!" Renjun calls out as he approaches from the side.

At this rate, he was going to make a daily habit of stopping by your table at lunch.

Haven gives you a suspicious glare before she busies herself by cutting up her fruits with the dull ends of her plastic fork.

"Hey," he repeats once he was closer to the table. "Are we still meeting after school?"

You almost said yes before you remembered you were still mad at him for ditching you yesterday. You give him a stormy look and pull out your phone, making a point that you were ignoring him.

"I know you're giving me the cold shoulder and what not—and I get it. I really do. But could you just meet me on the field so we can get this done? That's all I ask."  

And with that, he walks away.

"Hey, Renjun!" Haven yells after him. He glances over his shoulder but keeps walking.

That was weird.

"What exactly happened between you two?" you ask.

Haven chews on her bottom lip before shaking her head. "It's complicated."

Complicated. What did that even mean? Aren't all breakups complicated? Why did you care anyway, it's not like it's any of your business.

Right.

It wasn't any of your business so why did you ask that? It was odd enough that you were curious about Renjun's past relationships but now it was going to seem like you were actually interested in him. And let’s face it, hell would freeze over before that would ever happen.

-

After the final bell rings, you make your way to the track field. You debated on whether or not you should even show up but you weren't as douche-ey as Renjun.

Your feet pad down the concrete stairs, trotting across the damp grass. You spot the familiar head of dark hair in the center of the field as you near the booth. Renjun had already begun without you, taping the flags on each side of the booth. His uniform jacket was folded neatly on top of his bag on the ground and you drop yours down next to his. Renjun is too immersed in getting the tape to hold the flags to notice your arrival. Despite the cold, there’s a light sheen of sweat that coats his honey bronze skin, his fringe starting to stick to his forehead.

You clear your throat loudly and Renjun peeks over his shoulder.

"Oh, you came," Renjun let out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, well, I'm not you so..." you trail off.

"Right," his voice is low. "Look, about yesterday...I shouldn't have just left you like that." 

He pauses to wipe the sweat at his temples with the back of his hand. "I overreacted and I'm sorry. Things have been...off lately."

You’re silent for a moment, not sure of what to say. It wasn't like Renjun to show any real emotion towards you.

You approach him, adjusting the flag properly so the tape wouldn't peel off from the weight.

"You've been apologizing a lot lately."

The corners of Renjun's lips curve upwards. "I guess I have."

It was silent as he begins to nail a wooden board across the table legs.

You watch him work as you mindlessly painted a plank of wood for the top of the booth. His brow is creased as he carefully handles the hammer and nail.

"How'd you do on the quiz?" he asks, disturbing the stillness in the air.

"It was pretty easy," you muse. "I probably got an A."

"You always get an A, what do you mean 'probably'?" he chuckles.

A smile creeps on your face. "I'm just being modest here—of course I got an A!"

"When are you ever modest?" Renjun retorts, a teasing smile playing on his lips. And you realize for the first time, it's a smile that was meant in a friendly way.

"I'm more modest than you could ever be."

Renjun moves on to the next board, picking up a new nail. "Maybe. That's the only thing you do better than me, though."

You scoff. You knew it was meant to be a joke but you couldn't help but feel irritated by how true it was.

"I will admit that you are better than me at a lot of things. If modesty is all I have on you, I'll take what I can get."

Renjun chuckles. "I was joking! There's tons of stuff you can do better than I ever could."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" you ask.

"If you're fishing for compliments, I'm not falling for that," he shakes his head with a laugh.

"I'm not asking for compliments, I'm serious. You're always one step in front of me, Renjun. No matter how you look at it, you're perfect."

Renjun stops hammering to look at you. "Was that supposed to be a joke? I don't know if you've noticed, but the reason why I have to work so hard to keep my spot at the top is you. You keep me on track because I know if I slack off for even a sliver of a moment, you'll take it away from me. I'm not perfect."

You stare at him for a beat, an odd feeling stirring in your chest.

"No one's better than anyone, alright? We're equals," he finishes, re-focusing on his task again.

His voice is cool and smooth like marble and for the first time you hear a gentle tone in his words. The gleam in his eye showed you a more sincere side of himself you never knew existed and it made your heart pick-up.

"Right, of course," you say, forcing a laugh.

The two of you continue to have small talk as you work. Him, always asking the questions and you, trying to answer them as politely as possible. After a while, the atmosphere begins to feel less forced and you’re able to talk to him freely without feeling the painful drag of awkwardness.

When the sun begins to paint the sky red, you both decide that was enough work for the day. You agree to meet on Monday again after school.

You walk together to the parking lot mostly in silence. When Renjun offers to walk you to your sister's car you decline immediately, not wanting Sadie anywhere near him. You wave to him as you got into the passenger's side of Sadie's Audi.

"See 'ya later!" he shouts before he hops into a black truck across the lot.

"Who's that? He's cute," Sadie says, craning her neck to watch him get into the car.

You buckle your seatbelt. "Not really. That's just my lab partner from anatomy."

"Are you kidding me? If I was your age I'd be all over that. And single of course."

"I don't know, I guess he is. I haven't really thought about him that way before."

Sadie drives out of the parking lot, looking at you as if you had two heads. "You guess? We really need to sort out your taste in men."

You hum, waving her comment off and thankfully she doesn't pester you about it for the rest of the way home.

"Let's make cookies!" Sadie suggests, tossing her keys in the dish on the table.

You scowl. "You know I can't cook."

"I'll give you the easy stuff to do," she says, shuffling into the kitchen.

You press your lips together, following her to your doom. Baking cookies wasn't something you ever wanted to do in your lifetime but here you were in the kitchen with Sadie doing something you didn't want to do, yet again.

"I'll make the batter and then you can mix it with this spoon here, see?" she holds up a large wooden spoon.

You nod wordlessly, slumping over the wooden counter while she washes her hands.

You watch Sadie gather all the ingredients from around the kitchen and set them out around a ginormous bowl from the cupboard you didn't know existed until now.

"Since mom and dad aren't home yet, I can finally tell you about Jodie!" Sadie claps her hands excitedly.

You mime gagging behind her back before slumping back over the counter.

"Oh god, where do I even begin," she pauses in deep thought. "Oh! We met at orientation, as you know. But what I didn't tell you is how he asked me out."

"And how'd he do that?" you try to hide the boredom in your voice.

"He brought a big basket of those muffins I like from the dining hall—well technically he stole them but anyways—he brought them to my dorm and asked me to dinner at this underground restaurant and, ugh, it was so romantic! It had all these twinkly lights and a live band!"

"That does sound nice. Except for the stealing part. I don't find illegal stuff romantic."

"Of course you wouldn't, but anyway, we've been together ever since. We made two years last month," Sadie smiled at her bowl of mush ingredients.

"Wow, I hadn't even realized it's been that long," you reply, toying with the wooden spoon.

"Yeah," she sighs. "Mom and dad met him a couple of days before our anniversary but they don't know everything that happened so when I tell you this, you have to promise me you won't say anything, okay?"

You perk up at the seriousness of her tone. "Yeah, of course."

Sadie looks hesitant before she speaks. "After about a year into our relationship, Jodie...he cheated on me with some girl in his psych class."

"He what??!" you jump up, nearly knocking over the ingredients Sadie had set up so neatly.

Who in their right mind would ever cheat on someone as amazing as Sadie? Everyone loved Sadie. And you meant everyone. If someone didn't like her it was because they were jealous and even then they secretly liked her! It just didn't make sense. No matter which you put it, you can’t think of a single reason why he would think that was a good idea or even be tempted to cheat with another woman. He was more foolish than you ever anticipated.

"And what happened? You're still with him?"

Sadie looks ashamed as she avoids your gaze. "We broke up for about a month after it happened. But yes, we're still together."

You grab her arm, making her look at you. "Why would you get back together with someone who cheated on you with some random girl?"

"You wouldn't understand, __, you're still young. You've never even had a boyfriend before. It's not that simple."

You frown, confused and albeit a little angry. Isn't it common sense to break up after your partner had an affair? Sadie was everyone's dream girl—she was sweet, loving, beautiful, knew how to cook and was too forgiving for her own good. The fact that she decided to stay with some loser who couldn't see that was infuriating. You didn't like Jodie before but now you actually had a valid reason.

"Please don't be mad, __," Sadie pleads as if reading your mind. "Love is...complicated."

Complicated. There's that word again.

Sadie tucked her hair behind her ears, searching for the right words. "Just because he hurt me, doesn't mean I don't love him anymore. I can't just turn off my feelings for him whenever I want. Those feelings don't go away so easily and you'll see that for yourself one day,"

"I'd rather not," you huff, crossing your arms.

Sadie drags your body to the bowl now that she was done measuring the needed materials.

"Not all relationships turn out like mine. Maybe you'll have better luck than me," she gives you a small smile.

You stir the mixture clumsily, as you give her an pointed look. "Yeah right, have you met me?"

"Oh hush," she slaps your arm. "Enough about me. What about this lab partner of yours?"

You grimace. "I promise you nothing's going on there. His friend Jeno, however, is much more interesting."

Sadie holds the bowl steady for you as your stirring grows sloppier. "Oh, all the Jenos I've met are always crazy hot."

"His looks don't disappoint, believe me. He's got the whole school wrapped around his finger. He's really smart too."

"I knew he'd be smart if you were interested in him. Does he play a sport?"

"Soccer."

"That's even hotter," Sadie replies, taking the bowl from you and forming a small ball with the dough. "Can you grab that big pan and put a baking sheet over it for me?"

You follow her instructions and she thanks you, placing a ball on the pan.

"What's crazy is, he's barely even spoken to me prior to this week but he suddenly asked me to go to his party tonight."

"Well, you're going, right?" she pauses to turn on the oven.

"Of course not," you answer in an incredulous tone.

"Why not?!" Sadie exclaims. "You have to go!"

"I don't do parties and I don't do boys, you know that," you resume back to your position over the counter.

"Right, those lame rules you made when you were like ten. Don't you think they're a little ridiculous? You can still have a life and be successful, you know."

You pursed your lips. "I like my rules."

"You like them because they keep you in your comfort zone. You gotta go, honey. You're gonna regret it if you don't. And you don't have to date Jeno. Just try to get to know him—ignore him all night for all I care—just go and have some fun for once!"

"I don't think—"

"Nope! You don't have a choice, you're going!" she says cutting you off.

"Put the cookies in the oven while I get everything ready!" Sadie shouts as she runs off to her old room in haste.

You throw your head back, throwing a silent tantrum before putting the cookies in the oven.

When you meet Sadie in her room, her entire contents of her suitcase were thrown out onto the floor with a giant case of makeup open by the mirror. You immediately walked back out yelling out a quick and stern 'no!'

"Wait! Come on, it'll be fun!" she runs after you, her arms spilling over with dresses you'd rather die than to put on your body.

Sadie manages to coax you out of your room and back into hers but only after you made her promise to not do anything too crazy.

You change out of your uniform and into a pair of jeans and one of Sadie's satin blouses. You already flat-out refused to wear her dress so when you rejected the idea of wearing any type of heels, she settled for her black booties. You’re lucky you wear the same size in everything otherwise you’d end up showing up in that old church dress your mom bought you four years ago before you all stopped going. There was never a need to get nice-looking clothes because you never went anywhere. 

You find yourself sitting on the floor in between your sister's legs as she curls your hair. You have major difficulty remaining still for long periods of time and Sadie burned you a few times because of it. When she’s content with your hair she attempts to do your makeup but your reject anything more than mascara and lipgloss, knowing what kind of harmful chemicals it was all made of.

You allow her to do your eyebrows solely because of the sad look in her eye when you said you didn't want to. It hurt like hell and you think you might regretted it a little but the outcome wasn't too shabby, although you'd never admit that to Sadie.

Sadie brings you a plate full of cookies as you did your mascara, giving you pointers as she munches down on a sugar cookie.

Once the torture was over, you feel like you were an entirely different person. Not in a catfish, full face of makeup kind of way but in a this girl never wears anything outside of her school uniform and pajamas kind of way. The person in the mirror looks so foreign to you and you can’t decide if it was a good or bad change but you didn't have too much time to dwell on it before Sadie was shoving you out the door.

After giving her the address from Jeno's Snapchat story, Sadie sends you a warm smile. Her nose crinkles a bit and she keeps staring at you with this motherly look in her eye.

"You look pretty. You always look pretty but you look especially pretty right now."

You're cheeks feel a tad warm as you give her an uncomfortable smile, thanking her.

Once you arrive at the address, Sadie grabs your hand and squeezes it. "Text me when you're ready for me to pick you up. Have fun okay? But be careful."

"Okay," you reply before exiting the car.

You wave to Sadie as she drives away, wishing you could call her back and beg her to take you home but it was too late for that. You came all the way here and now you had to man up and do this. But the overwhelming amount of second thoughts leave you frightened. You can’t help but wonder if Jeno's invitation to you was a joke or some sort of dare he was forced into. Even Renjun knew you didn't belong here.

You take a deep breath and walk towards the front door, letting yourself in. The music hits you like a wave, stunning you for a moment. You hadn't heard it outside the house so the overwhelming sound of the bass resonating through your bones made your heart pick up even faster than before.

The living room was packed with familiar-looking people, most of them leaned against the large walls of the room, a cup full of an unidentifiable liquid in their hands, others dancing wildly in the center of the room.

You decide to search for Jeno, not knowing what else to do. You squeeze through several clusters of people but the dimness of the room made it nearly impossible to see anyone clearly that wasn't less than five feet away, so you give up for the time being, taking an empty spot on the wall near the couch.

You unlock the screen of your phone, just about to text Sadie to come and get you when Haven strides up to you with a golden-haired boy you recognized as Jisung—one of Renjun's friends.

"What are you doing here?" she yells over the music.

You frown at her question. "You know why I'm here; you were there when Jeno invited me."

"You know Jeno?" Jisung asked, his eyes scanning you in curiosity. "I haven't seen you around before—are you new?"

Your fingernails dig into the skin of your palm. If you had a nickel for every time a student asked you that. You would think at least some people would have known you from the vast amounts of extra-curricular activities and sports you played but of course, you were just as invisible to them as you were to everyone else.

"I've been going to this school longer than you have, freshie," you fight the urge to roll your eyes at the kid.

"What's with the way you're dressed? Don't you own anything other than a lame shirt and some jeans?" Haven sneers, giving you a look of pure disgust.

You look down at your outfit, suddenly self-conscious. Was it too conservative for a party like this? Haven's mini skirt and flashy crop top made your outfit look dull in comparison. Maybe you should’ve worn one of Sadie’s dresses after all.

And here you thought bumping into Haven was going to save you from the embarrassment of hanging around the party like some loner without friends. before now, you never really cared to make friends throughout school, preferring to be alone. You had your parents and although they were annoying at times, they were more than enough company for you. You try not to allow her words to affect you but they do. Your throat tightens with sudden urge to cry but you fight it.

"Just because I'm not dressed like a whore doesn't mean it's not cute," you gruff, brushing past her.

You push through the crowd of people towards the front door only to bump into a hard chest that belonged to none other than Lee Jeno.

"Oof! I'm sorry—oh! __, you came," Jeno smiles pleasantly. "Come with me," he grabs your elbow, not waiting for a response as he leads you back to the center of the room to the twin couches. 

He signals his friends to make a space for you, ushering you to sit down next to him. You’re surprised to see Renjun sitting on the other side of you, immersed in what seemed like an intense level of Tetris.

"Hey, Renjun," you greet him.

Renjun glances up from his phone, his eyes going wide, obviously surprised that you showed up.

"Umm...Renjun?" you sit back, feeling uncomfortable after a while of him not saying anything.

"Hello? Earth to Renjun?" you snap your fingers in front of his face, finally sparking something in him as he blinks once then twice.

"S-sorry, hi," he says awkwardly then resumes playing his game.

You scowl, expecting a better response. Why was he acting so strange? Just a few hours ago, he insisted on walking you to Sadie's car but now he won't say more than two words to you? Did he not want his friends to know you were getting along?

You’re silent as Jeno jokes along with his friends, a crowd gathering around the popular boy.  His eyes squint into laughter whenever one of his friends says something stupid. Thankfully, he was turned in the opposite direction so you could admire the side-view of his chiseled face. You’re glad to have found Jeno when you did, or else you wouldn't have been sitting next to him now, feeling like you a part of something for once.

"Why do you look like that?" Renjun speaks and your cheeks turn rosy, hoping he didn't notice you staring at his best friend.

You attempt to look nonchalant as you answer. "Look like what?"

"I don't know. You look...weird," he says, his eyes staring straight into yours, making you feel cold.

You drew back from him, your heart feeling heavy at his statement. Did you really look so bad that two people had to tell you that to your face?

Apparently, Jeno had heard the conversation as he wraps his arm around your shoulder. "I think you look pretty," he pokes a finger in your cheek and you almost die on the spot.

You shake your head, embarrassed, and Jeno only chuckles, turning back to his friends but leaving his arm around you.

You don't say anything after that, listening to the notes of a song you’ve never heard before in favor of the conversation being held next to you. They were talking about sports, something--unless it was volleyball--that you didn't have much interest in. After a few songs, you get bored, looking to Renjun, who was still on the same level of Tetris. Feeling your gaze on him, you lock eyes for a brief moment then he looks away again.

Concerned, you nudge his elbow, "Are you okay?"

Renjun doesn't look back up at you. "I'm fine."

Obviously, he wasn't but you drop it, not wanting him to snap at you again like the other day.

Jeno tightens his arm around your neck, grabbing your attention. "You wanna dance?"

"Oh, god no," you answer quickly. "I don't dance."

Jeno tilts his head at you. "Hmm..."

You blink, waiting for him to continue.

He stands up abruptly, your eyes following him. "Come with me," he holds a hand out for you to take.

You remember your sister's warning and decide that doesn't sound like a safe thing to do. "I want to stay here."

Jeno pouts, sensing the reason behind your hesitancy. He grabs your wrist, pulling you up with strength you didn't know he had.

"I promise, I won't try anything weird," he smiles that Jeno smile at you and how could you resist?

You let him drag you away from the party, your eyes alert for anything if he tried something funny. You never fought anyone before but you decide that if it came down to it, you were prepared to, even if it was your precious Jeno.

You pass through the kitchen and dining area, where there’s a glass sliding door leading to a patio. He opens it, stepping through first and letting go of you as he held the door open for you. It was a wooden patio with a large grill and fancy table with a yard that has more than enough space for the entire party attendees to run around in. The quietness surrounds your ears as you venture out further onto the patio, noticing a pool at the end of the yard. It was the kind of backyard that everyone dreamed of as a kid.

Jeno motions with his head to follow him and you trail behind him to the lounge chairs by the pool.

"Is this more comfortable for you?" he asks crossing his legs as he lays back in his chair.

You smile, abashedly. "Yes."

Your eyes follow a group of leaves swirling around each other in the pool as you ask Jeno a question that had been on your mind since Wednesday.

"Why did you invite me to your party?" your heart pounds in your ears, remorse fueling your body at the question immediately. You wouldn't know what you'd do if he told you it was a joke. Or worse, if he suddenly confessed to you.

Jeno purses his lips, drinking from his cup, probably full of luke-warm beer. "Because I think you're hilarious. Plus you're super pretty. I always wanted to get closer to you so I thought inviting you to my party would be a good place to start."

You let out a breath, neither relieved or disappointed he didn't ask you out. But he did admit he was interested in you in a way, didn't he? You decide to ask Sadie when you get home.

"So, how's that booth coming along?"

You snort, remembering the project Renjun sucked you into doing with him. "It's nearly half-way done but it would be closer to being finished if I didn't have to start on my own."

"Yeah I heard about that," he giggles. "Go easy on him, okay? He's under a lot of stress right now."

Your eyes almost dart of their sockets. "That boy gets everything he wants. There's no way in hell he could have anything more than the occasional pimple to stress over."

Jeno snickers again. "You always crack me up," with a shake of his head he continues. "Renjun's father is really hard on him when it comes to school and he's also really disappointed in him for not being on the soccer team. The best just isn't enough for the guy, I guess."

You sigh, trying to wrap your head around the concept of Renjun having real issues. Of course, every person had their own problems it's just that you never actually thought of him as a person. He was always just an obstacle blocking you from the future you've always wanted.

"I didn't know that," you say after a while.

"No one does. He doesn't like telling people," he stops to take a gulp of beer. "Does that mean you'll be nicer to Renjun?"

"Ha!" you scoff, taking his cup and having a sip. You weren't really sure what made you do that but it was already too late, the warm beverage already making its way down your throat. It wasn't as bad as you thought it would be but it still wasn't a flavor that you particularly liked. You shrug, taking a bigger gulp of it.

"Nine times out of ten he's the one who starts it. He brings it on himself," you laugh.

Jeno's laughter chimes with yours and you enjoy each other's company for a little while longer, just staring at the moon hanging in the raven sky.

"I don't get how you can even stand being friends with him. You pick on each other all day."

Jeno sighs, kicking his feet in the air. "That's what friends do, I guess. Maybe that's just guys, though. I mean, it all comes from a good place but when it really comes down to it, we're always there for each other."

"That's nice," you say, suddenly feeling guilty for what you said about Jeno. "I wouldn't know. I don't really have friends."

Jeno raises his eyebrows at you. "Really? I thought you had a ton of friends in all those clubs your in."

"Nah, I never really connected with those people."

"Well, I'll be your friend," Jeno cheeses at you and you gush, an unmistakable blush warming your cheeks.

You nod, as you struggle to drink the last of the contents of the beer with an unwavering smile.

A stiff breeze blows by, the leaves rustling in the trees above your heads. You tuck your face into your jacket to brace yourself from the cold.

"I already broke two rules in the span of one hour," you breath, not caring your words formed aloud.

Jeno glances at you curiously, "Hmm?"

You smile to yourself. "Nothing. It’s just some stupid rules I made up when I was like ten."

"Is dancing included in those rules?"

"No, actually."

Jeno stands up with a grunt. "Would you reconsider my offer from earlier?" he asks, his hand held out to you like before.

You weren't sure if it was the now empty cup of beer or maybe you felt a change in you at that moment that you never felt before but you found yourself taking his hand and being led away to the dance floor.

The music was different than what you were used to, the beat a little too fast-paced for you but you followed what everyone else was doing around you, throwing your hands above your head and jumping until you were out of breath. Jeno guides your body closer to him until you were pressed against one another, his arm secured tightly around your waist. You throw your head back in laughter, never having thought the night would've turned out like this. Jeno’s fiery lauch chimes in with yours, his eyes squinting into slits as he twirls you around the living room. You’ve never felt so free. Your mind was always weighted by thoughts of homework and exams. Your life revolved around school and you never seen a problem with it. So many years spent cooped at home when you could’ve been experiencing this. A few more cups and you don't even have a second thought about dancing with Jeno, the two of you goofing around the living room and bouncing around wildly. You were too drunk to notice the entire room hooting and cheering you on and you were too drunk to notice Renjun's eyes glued to the two of you the entire night.

--

You toss your bag on the floor of the car, then plop down in the seat, Sadie already revving up the engine next to you.

She sends you an odd look once you’ve settled in. "No headband and ponytail today?"

Your hands smooth over the top of your hair instinctively. "No. I think I like my hair better down."

Sadie reaches over, pinching your cheek. "I think you look good either way."

You rub the spot Sadie grabbed, grumbling as you always did.

"One party and my little sissy's all grown up!" Sadie cries, her lips in a pout.

You face-palm yourself. "Nothing's changed. I just styled my hair little differently today, Sadie."

The car comes to a stop at a red light. "Are you sure this has nothing to do with Jeno confessing to you at the party?"

Your face turns beet red as you sputter to defend yourself. "It wasn't a confession! And I didn't have time to find my headband because I slept through my alarm. Thanks for waking me up on time, by the way, Miss I-Wake-Up-At-Four A.M-everyday!"

Sadie giggles an apology, patting your leg.

You arrive to your first period, sitting in your unassigned-assigned seat and throwing your belongings down in the seat next to you, waiting as the rest of the students poured in. The bell sounds and Mrs. Brookes comes in, stressing about the class average of the quiz you took Friday.

Your graded papers were passed back and you were delighted to see an A+ scribbled in red at the top. You look up to find Renjun and show him your score. You aced the quiz just as said you would back at the field the other day. When your eyes land on his seat, however, you find it empty. Your eyes scan the classroom but still no Renjun. Did he not come in at all? It was strange for him to be tardy–it was normally you who was always late. Was he okay? He did look a bit off the last time you saw him...

You find yourself constantly checking the door throughout the class period, expecting him to barge in with some lame excuse or maybe he had a real one for being late for all you knew but he never did.

Second and third period go by and still no sign of Renjun. You were starting to worry about the booth. You didn't want to work on it by yourself but if he wasn't going to show, shouldn't he at least message you?

You suddenly remember Jeno's words to go easy on Renjun. It was things like this that made it impossible to do just that. This was important to you and you could've sworn it was important to him too! Next time you see him, you’ll kill him! Not even Jeno could stand in the way of what you were going to do to him.

When you make it to the field later that afternoon, there’s a lot more kids than last week but, of course, still no Renjun. You puff your cheeks with air, zipping up your coat and start to paint the last part of the booth.

Not even a moment later, a kid walks over to you with a scarf covering half of his face and a coat so big he could barely move his arms.

"Hey, you're __, right?"

You put down your paintbrush. "Yeah? Who are you?"

"I'm Chenle. Renjun asked me to help you out with the booth for him."

"Oh," you blink. You were relieved you didn't have to do this on your own but you were kind of uncomfortable working with a stranger at the same time.

"Why wasn't he at school today, anyway?"

You could tell he was smiling by the rise in his cheeks. "He told me to tell you that he was sick today but I don't see a reason to lie to a stranger. He actually came late after third period."

You let a curse slip through your lips but hold in your rage, picking up the paintbrush again. There was no way he could be serious. He only missed three classes, which happened to be the only ones he shared with you. 

"So, why wasn't he at lunch?"

He shrugs. "I don't know either. I just assumed he was with Jeno," 

You let out a long sigh.

Jeno wasn't at lunch either? You hadn't even noticed; you were so busy looking for Renjun. Your eyebrows furrow, giving Chenle something easy to do while you finish painting. You’re angry more than anything. You blew up his phone all day, asking where he was and if he was okay and yet, not a single response but he was at school the whole time. Why would he do that? Was he avoiding you for some reason? You didn't exactly know why but it pained you to think that. Was it stupid to think you were actually becoming friends?

Of course, you weren't friends. Renjun was just trying to make working together tolerable. How could you think that when he was being so cold to you at the party? You were still competing with each other at the end of the day. What good could possibly come out of befriending your enemy? He didn't text you back because he didn't have to. He sent someone to help you out in his place and that was all he owed you.

You knew you had no reason to be upset. Renjun didn't trick you into anything. He never said he wanted to be friends. It was your fault for mistaking his kindness for something bigger than that. But still, your eyes sting with unshed tears, your back turned away from Chenle. You weren't going to cry in front of Renjun's friend. You'd embarrassed yourself enough already.

[jeongjaehyuns]

ok since kellie posted her fancam i thought i’d finally stop being lazy and do the same too :’)

i mentioned this a little bit before but earlier this month, i was lucky enough to get tickets to see nct 127 at the apple music event in la and was able to see them perform! this was by far one of the most amazing and intimate experiences i’ve ever been able to be apart of and being able to see nct 127 doing what they do best together is something i’m going to cherish in my heart for a very long time! here is the link to the full playlist of all their performances!! 

underneath the cut will be a much more detailed and in depth account of everything that happened at the event if anyone is interested in reading more about it! ♡

ok hello if there are people who actually decided to keep reading thank u so much and buckle up bc u are in for a riiiiiiiiiide (ridin on that VAAaaaaAAAAan, KEEP dRIVINGGGggGGG) ok anyways! HERE WE GO!

[ ! ] btw the first part is just me talking about everything that happened before the concert so pls feel free to just skip to the last paragraph instead LOL

so when news came out that nct 127 was going to be coming back to the u.s. and perform on jimmy kimmel and that tickets were FREE, my friends and i hi kellie, hi tracey all tried to get some tickets for both the taping and the concert and was able to make it on the waitlist! i don’t live in california but both of my friends do so i told them that if any of us got confirmed tickets, i’d be flying over there for the weekend to attend the show! it’s kind of all a blur now bc the only thing i can remember within that week was stressing out so hard over tickets because the way the whole thing was set up was just SO STRESSFUL because despite being on the waitlist, there is no 100% guarantee that you’d get tickets and they start giving out tickets to people from within a week before the taping to the day of the actual event so really, it was just one massive waiting game. but a week went by and none of us saw any signs of getting tickets and flight ticket prices kept fluctuating for me so i just went ahead and booked my flight anyways without a confirmed ticket pls don’t ever do this omfg please please PLEASE don’t ever do this!!! and PRAYED that one of us would be able to get tickets ;; a few days went by and then nct kept releasing more news and how they’d be performing at mickey mouse’s 90th birthday celebration so tickets for that were also available too and once again, we made it on the waitlist!!! and played not one but now two (2) waiting games!!!! :-)))

honestly i rly don’t remember much that happened during this small time frame bc i was so stressed and anxious over these tickets that it rly took a toll on me physically and mentally LOL but yeah so on wednesday the 3rd, nct 127 posted on their instagram about how they’d be having a special performance partnered with apple music and i was about to start my math exam but the moment i read their post, i ran to the bathroom faster than i’ve ever ran before and of course, i requested tickets and made it on the waitlist again!!!! SO NOW IN TOTAL, IT WAS NOT ONE, BUT THREE (3) WAITING GAMES!!! GAMES THAT I WAS STARTING TO GET SICK OF PLAYING!!! anyways yeah so basically my friends and i made it onto all 3 waiting lists and at this point we really just wanted to be able to make it to at least one event ;;;

fast forward to friday, aka 1 day before mickey mouse and 3 days before kimmel and apple music and also the day my flight leaves for la!!! my friends and i all got a big fat no from mickey mouse saying they wouldn’t be able to accommodate our ticket requests bc they were full so we we re like ok!!! whatevs!!! we still have kimmel and apple to try for!!! so here i am… at the airport… getting ready to leave with no!!! confirmed!!! ticket!!! my flight was quite early in the morning so i was at the airport overnight and it was like around 11:30pm when i was doing homework and i got a notification on my phone… thinking it was just some random notification when in reality, I GOT MY CONFIRMED TICKET FOR THE APPLE MUSIC EVENT :’) it’s a blur to me bc it happened so fast and so suddenly but all i remember was that my jaw literally dropped for the longest time and my hands were shaking so badly bc i cOULDN’T BELIEVE IT??? i wasn’t able to sleep that entire night nor was i able to sleep on the plane from all the adrenaline so that saturday really was an interesting day for me LOL anywho i made it to la safe and sound and spent saturday and sunday hanging out with my friends while we prepared for monday :’)

ok so then despite getting tickets, we had no idea where the location of this event was going to be bc 1iota (the event organizer) wasn’t going to release the information until 10am monday morning and we were planning on waiting in line like early early to get a good spot so we had to be ready and out of the house by 9am!!! bUT WAIT!!! 9am was also when the english version of the mv was going to be released so me and kellie were both !!! bc we wanted to gif the mv so bad!!! so now at this point it’s like 7am and we’re all like half awake trying frantically to get ready and i’m over here trying to stream nct on the radio and listen to the world release of regular eng ver and then somewhere in between all of this, both kellie and tracey ended up getting their emails for confirmed tickets too??? so yeah at this point all three of us are running around like crazy ppl bc we weren’t expecting all of us to go but now all 3 of us get to go!!! so yeah i brought my laptop with me and tried to gif in the car but the connection from my hotspot was so slow so i just sat and cried instead :-) ALSO!!! remember how information about the location was supposed to be released at 10am? yeah well they changed it on us again!!! they delayed it to 2pm so at this point me and kellie rly wanted to d*e bc we did all of that rushing for nothing omfg but fast forward to 2pm, they released the information for the location and since we were already in the hollywood area we went there right away so when we lined up, we were like number 10 in line!!! :D

i wasn’t able to eat at all that entire day just bc i was so stressed and so nervous from everything that the hunger didn’t hit me til like 20 mins before the actual event omg ;;;; i remember saying “omg i’m so hungry” and the girl beside me was like “well sweetie, you’re about to be fed real good rn” and i just died laughing oh my god but yeah i had a priority ticket so i was let in around 7:30pm-ish and the event started at 8! i got barricade again just like last time at kcon ny, my view was reeeeeeally good!! ! i would say even better than kcon’s even tho i was front and center for kcon ;;; back when we were in line, the event organizers kept asking us how we were doing and each time i would tell them that i was super nervous and they’d ask why and i would explain that i just get super nervous before seeing nct omg it’s really true tho idk what it is but i just feel so QUEASY before seeing them… like the fact that you go from seeing them from your screen to seeing them in front of you is just a very STRANGE FEELING FOR ME OK but they kept repeating how we were all going to have a good time and that the space inside was super small so it’s going to be nice and intimate with them and they said how no matter what spot you get, you’re still going to be super close to them… one of the staff members was like “you’re going to be so close to them they’re going to sweat on you” AND GOD THIS JUST MADE ME EVEN MORE NERVOUS KASDJKSAJDKAJDKA

OK ANYWAYS ENOUGH OF THAT, ONTO THE ACTUAL CONCERT! when we got in, the event was actually on a rooftop and so the scenery behind the stage was just soooooo pretty and then they had a playlist of their songs playing in the bg and it was just really nice to listen and enjoy while we waited for them to come out :’) the members kept hiding behind this door and some of them started waving and they were all teasing us so hard bc the moment we saw someone there, we would all start screaming and they just wouldn’t stop :’) then they finally played the apple music documentary video for us and i just remember all of us screaming a lot LOL but then the lights went off again and then we all watched them walk onto the stage one by one and oh my GOD the wait for them to finally start just felt like forever and then next thing i know, the sirens went off and all i hear is “GET IT LIFTED” and then firetruck started omg i was trying to get jaehyun’s attention but then mr. nakamoto yuta… YUTA… looked over on our side and me and him made eye contact for a good solid 3 seconds and i just about lost my shit omg… HE IS SO INSANELY GORGEOUS IN REAL LIFE I WAS RLY GOIN THRU IT… JAEHYUN WHO??? AND THEN HAECHAN OMG… haechan came over to our side like 75% of the time and he is the cutest, most adorable person on this planet!!! he was always smiling and waving and i really can’t think of anything else to describe him other than the sun bc he quite literally was shining that night!!! i think it was halfway through firetruck that we started to realize that the stage was like… a little slippery??? but it wasn’t until limitless started where we really noticed the members starting to slip and stumble here and there ;; also there’s this one part where jaehyun went up super close to me during limitless and i about died… i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again but even after seeing him irl, HE IS SO HANDSOME IT’S UNREAL… HIS VISUALS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD but yeah the staff members would go on stage after each song to try their best to dry the stage but for some reason that wasn’t enough ;; i have no idea why the stage was so slippery but my guess was that it was pretty cool up on the rooftop and with the amount of people there, there was so much body heat in the air and then that mixed with the cool air = condensation??? i also think the shoes the members were wearing had like absolutely no friction at the bottom so it made them slip even more ;; they were also using a fog machine too but idk if that was actually the reason why the stage was so slipper omg but yeah after firetruck, they performed limitless and then they had a small ment here and mark talked about how it was a very special day for them (bc they just came straight from performing at jimmy kimmel too) and then johnny screamed something along the words of being apple music’s next up next artist and he was just so happy!!!! and then mark said that they’ve got october all to themselves and they were so happy to be able to be here with all of the fans! jaehyun also said that the place was so wonderful and said all the fans there were so wonderful and johnny came in to say that they had rehearsals the night before but being there with all the fans, it was a totally different feeling ;~; after that they performed touch and then when it came to cherry bomb (OT10 VER WITH JUNGWOO BTW), this was when things started to look a little :/// bc taeyong had already fell back during touch and at this point i was already beyond worried bc i would rather have them stop the whole thing all together rather than have them risk getting injured just to perform for us??? i shouted so many times to “be careful” in both korean and english T________T IT WAS LIKE THE DREAM CONCERT ALL OVER AGAIN WHEN THEY PERFORMED IN THE RAIN not to mention they had comeback promotions to do once they back to korea too so i rly just wanted them to stop ;;; i also think the members were all starting to get a little discouraged from all the slipping and stumbling during each performance and it kinda just looked like they were all really sad that they couldn’t put on a perfect performance ;; at this point the stage was soooooo slippery and i think they were more focused on not falling rather than performing and my heart rly just was in pieces ;;; taeyong fell again in cherry bomb during the leg split dance and it looked so painful oh my god i was just so WORRIED and i wanted it all to stop so bad ;~; but after cherry bomb ended, i think the members went back down to talk to the staff and then they came back up with different shoes! but finally!!! alas, they performed regular!!! since they switched shoes, the performance went pretty smoothly so i felt a little at ease! taeil, doyoung and mark were still wearing their original shoes so there were a few times when they slipped a little but thank god none of them actually fell ;; despite the song being a released earlier that morning, a lot of the fans did really well in learning the fanchants and singing along with the boys so i think it really helped in boosting the members’ confidence after the prior performances ;; there was a small ment here and doyoung talked and johnny translated it saying how basically the members felt really apologetic that they couldn’t put on good performances bc of the slippery stage and i was yelling with all the energy i had left in my that it was ok!!! that they were doing amazing and that they shouldn’t feel sorry!!! IT WAS KILLING ME INSIDE THAT THEY FELT THIS ASKDJKASDJAKJSDKD I WANTED TO ACTUALLY D*E but then they promised they’d come back to show an even better performance and doyoung held up his lil pinky!!! and then johnny asked how taeyong was doing and he answered back “i’m okay!!!” IN THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE… I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIM ONE BIG FAT HUG T________________T and then taeyong said the last mission they had left was to take a picture with the fans and took out the selfie stick to take a picture with everyone! it was so cute TwT 

but yeah, overall the whole experience was really really amazing minus the slippery stage and for the most part, i was really impressed with how organized 1iota was! i’m really grateful i got to be apart of it and it still feels like a dream that i got to attend the event and see them perform and promote their new album here in america!!! they were amazing performers and did so well despite everything! i was really really proud of them ;; anyways, thank you to everyone that made it this far!!! i hope you enjoyed this fan account! i know it’s a super long post but if i don’t write it all out now while it’s still somewhat fresh in my mind, i’m going to forget it by the end of the month so i hope you all understand! thank you so much! ♡

[johnisntevendead]

Hey I have a fic prompt, thanks for taking these btw. Wynonna finally gives birth and dolls comes to the hospital with all these gifts for her and the baby. Gosh I wish it was a wyndolls baby

IIII feel like at some point I will actually publish this to ao3 but for rn here’s this 

“You’re gonna wear a hole in the floor,” Nicole says behindhim.  He whirls around with a weakshrug.  It had started like your averagesitcom—he and Doc had been bickering idly about the layout of the baby’s room,Wynonna watching from where she’d been leaning against the big, cushionyrecliner she’d begged them to haul in, and every time he’d look up she had thisgentle, pleased smile across her face.

Then, she’d said, “Oh, now I know what a water balloon feelslike,” and he’d practically fallen over his own feet to get to her side, whereshe’s standing in a puddle.  “Do youthink amniotic fluid is good for your skin? Like those spas that use, like, placenta treatments.”

At that, Doc had looked fairly green.

For the first few hours, Wynonna had been almost eerily calm.  When asked, she’d claimed to have eaten awhole pan of pot brownies.  She ate andmade them watch bad movies and napped against his side on the couch.  They didn’t leave until the contractions gotbad—and by then Doc was getting antsy and Wynonna had only just then seemed torealize that she was in labor.  In the moments before they left, she’dgrabbed his arm and looked at him with wide eyes and said, like an epiphany, “Oh,holy shit, I’m having a baby.”

And about an hour ago, she’d kicked everyone but Waverly outof her room.

So he’s been here, in the waiting room.  Wearing a hole in the floor.

Puffing out a long breath, he looks around.  Jeremy’s pretending to be really involved ina WebMD magazine, Rosita’s glued to her phone, and Doc’s… probablysmoking.  There’s a very rational part ofhis mind—the same part that had the forethought to do the reading Wynonna hadn’t (and her voice echoes in hismind, “See?  That’s why we work so welltogether, you totally get when I’mgonna be a piece of shit.”)—knows that, like, this’ll be fine and people have been doing this for millennia, but there’sstill a gnaw of worry in his gut.  It’sprobably just that they’re in a hospital, and every time they’ve been here it’sbeen something godawful.  He hasn’t saidanything, but Nicole’s wearing an expression like she knows exactly what he’sthinking.

“C’mon, let’s check out the gift shop,” she offers, shovingher hands into her pockets.  “I bet youwe can find a ton of stuff that’ll make Wynonna cry, all the drugs she’s on.”

He thinks about it for a moment before shrugging quicklywith a soft, “Alright.”

--

“I’m never letting another penis near me again,” Wynonnamoans, gripping her sister’s hands so hard she’s sure it’s gotta hurt, but Wavesis just looking at her, eyebrows tilted sympathetically.  “Never. No more dicks.  I’m taking a vowof dicklessness.”

“Oh, honey, I know you feel like that, but we both know that’snot gonna happen,” she replies softly, freeing one hand to stroke throughWynonna’s hair.  Scoffing, she lets herhead fall back onto her pillow and looks around the room without really seeinganything.

She groans and shakes her head and asks, “Can you help meup?”  With a small grunt, Waverly helpsher to wriggle off the bed and rubs her lower back as they walk-slash-hobblearound the little room.  “I just,” shesays, anxiety sticking in her throat.  “Ijust wanna say that I’m, like, glad you’re here with me, or some shit.”

It’s like she can feelWaves giving her a weird look.  “Yeah,well, I don’t blame you—Doc looked like he was gonna faint,” she teases.  “Dolls woulda been okay, though.”  Eventually, she nudges her with her shoulderand whispers, “But I’m glad I’m here with you, too.  We’re doing this!  Well—you’re doing this.  I don’t have a ton to do with it.”

Soon, she can’t just be pacing around anymore and, ratherthan getting back into bed, sits in the chair next to it.  A nurse comes and goes periodically, checkingup on her, making sure she’s not going stir-crazy or, presumably, making sureshe hasn’t just had the baby without them. After she leaves, Wynonna doubles in on herself and breathes, “Oh mygod, this is happening, isn’t it?”

“It’s happening.  Ithas been happening for a while now,” she laughs.

“I am gonna mess this up so bad,” she blurts, head shootingup and eyes wide.  “Oh, I’m gonna fuck upso bad.”

Waverly frowns a little. “I don’t think that’s how labor works, like, this is one thing I’mfairly confident you cannot mess up,” she says.

Wynonna doesn’t correct her.

--

“What do you think about this one?” Nicole asks, pointing ata display balloon that’s about half as tall as she is in the shape of a baby.

“I think she’d find it unnerving,” Dolls answers honestly,wincing a little.  “Her and me both,actually.”  He eyes a cake-shapedarrangement of diapers with extreme prejudice. “The stork one is cute, though.” Her laugh is quick and short—the thing clearly has some demon-eyeissues.  At length, he says decidedly, “I’mgetting one.”

He gets a judgmental look when he pulls one, deflated andfolded neatly, off the shelf.  “I thoughtwe were trying to make her cry,” she says pointedly.

“I’m not entirely convinced this won’t contribute, it’shorrifying,” he replies.  They go backand forth over flower arrangements—she thinks a few smaller ones would be best,he has his eye on one of the big, gaudy, bright ones because he knows Wynonna—and trade greeting cardsback and forth, laughing at the overly emotional entries.  

“’Of all the people who throw up on you,’” she reads, voicesolemn, “’Babies are the best.’”

“’So fresh.  Sonew.  So sweet.’”  Dolls holds up one with a deer in a field offlowers on the front.

“Talk about unnerving,” she snorts.  “Jesus, who let the Widows get into thegreeting card game.”  Then, her eyeslight up and she holds up a pink card with only the words SHE’S HERE! over and over again in gold.  “Why are so many of these so ominous?  Do other people not find these ominous?”

“I feel like other people do not find these ominous, no,” hescowls, holding up YIPPEE! A SHE! forher confusion and delight.  “They should, but those are the type of peoplewho believe in animal attacks.”

“I mean, fair,” Nicole concedes.  “Okay, I can’t read these anymore.”  She stumbles back a step and wanders thestore.  He hears the crinkle of plastic.

“Twizzlers?”

“Red Vines.”

“Heathens,” hebreathes.

The woman working the register is nearly done inflating theballoons—an excessive amount, he can now admit, now that he’s batting them awayfrom his face—when his phone chimes. Almost as soon as he pulls it out of his pocket, Nicole’s phone startsringing.

As he unlocks the screen, he hears her gentle, “Hey, baby,what’s—oh!  Oh, okay—we’ll—yeah, on ourway.”  He’s got a text from Jeremy thatsays UPDATE!!!!!!!

Presents cumbersome in their grasp, they rush back to the waitingroom where Waverly is standing, bright grin and cheeks wet.  Doc runs up only a moment later, breathheaving and face pale, and Dolls switches things around to free a hand enoughto smack his shoulder comfortingly.  Hegets a weak flicker of a smile, so there’s that.

It feels like it takes forever—minutes, hours, days—for Waverlyto finally say, voice thick with emotion, “So, we’ve got a girl!  Right number of appendages, looks healthy,Wynonna’s good!”

What follows is a flurry of excitement, hugs, cheers, thecrush of relief and happiness and excitement. They get so few of those that aren’t tinged with something else,something terrible or horrifying or just sad.  It’s easy to get pretty caught up in themoment.

--

Technically, the first time she’d held her, she’d been amess and Wynonna had been too shaky-scared-worn out to do anything but stare atthis wet thing that just came out of her. Now she’s clean and bundled up and all Wynonna can think is how brighther eyes are and how very, very small she is. She’s sweaty and gross and completely out of it, and she barely noticeswhen the door opens.  But then thebustling kind of breaks through whatever trance she was in and there areballoons and voices and flowers and she’s smiling so hard it hurts and remembers something aboutendorphins.

“Everyone meet Wisteria, the newest Earp!” Waverly announcesexcitedly, bounding to her side.

“Fifteen minutes old and she’s already better than any ofus,” Wynonna says nonsensically.  Andthere are demands of pictures and everyone’s crowded around her and people keephugging her and she doesn’t hate it.  “Thatis such a disturbing balloon,” she tells Dolls, frowning up at the stork.

“Yeah,” he grins, eyes darting between her and the baby.

Gently, she asks Waves if she wants to hold her—it’s onlyfair, she dealt with her through this whole thing—and the way her face lightsup makes her chest feel like it’s gonna explode.  She watches her sister straighten with thebaby cradled to her chest, waves her off with an order to “make the rounds”.  As she does, movements ginger and slow, Rosieinches over and asks how she’s feeling.

“Well, Chris Evans sure as hell isn’t feeding me chocolates,”she teases, shifting a little.  Shewatches the others take turns, watches the way Doc holds her like she’ll breakat the slightest jostle, watches Waverly snapping pictures.  Suspicion and amusement color her voice whenshe asks Dolls, “Was all that necessary?” She gestures at his full arms.

“It absolutely was,” he grins.

[yumenosakiacademy]

Me.trocon 2017 Saturday

diary for future me, read if you want but it’s rly only 4 myself tbh. Cosplayed: mik.an Tsumiki

OKAY so the morning was rly bad and hectic and i dont like remembering it but i woke up and got ready bc the lol.ita fashion show was at 10 am and dad n i left and dad stopped by burger king to get himself some food but my cramps flared up BADLY and i had a midol in my bag so i took it out but im afraid of pills and cant swallow them so i was shaking and then i started crying and the drive-thru girl was like “oh gosh are you okay?” and i explained what was going on but rushed and sloppily and she was like “oh this happens to my lil sis too.. it’s okay sweetie just relax” or soething and i had dad park the car in the parking lot of burger king and for me to put my midol in a BK crospy crown and take a huge bite and swallow but that backfred and i chewed some of the pill and it was Blegh but the midol didnt kick in right away and the cramps were still v bad so i had dad rive me home so i could lie down for a while and i asked mom to use the heater bc she accidentally woke up so i asked her while she was awake and she kept saying no bc she liked it but when i begged she let me use her bed and used mine and it barely helped but overtime i gradually geew okay and hadd to calm myself so the stress wouldnt make my cramps return and i left at like 11 am and i missed the BB panel too but it’s Okay and i walked in and met up w haji near the ticket place and thankfully her mom let us wander around the con

so we went to the GF panel but i was mainly distracted by a small octopus plushie on some guy’s head and haji n i kept joking abt us knocking it off his head and abt the guy playing space jam and bassboosted music outside the panel room and it being audible whenever someone opened the door to leave or come in pff... but the dipper did the lamby dance and it was cute aa and the dipper offered ppl in the audience scooby snacks to any of the audience so haji n i had one n it was rly good aa i hadnt had one of those in years theyre Yummy...

Anyway, after that, i tried to go to the DR meetup, but it was rly rly tiny?? like we held it inside w like 2 handfuls of ppl and we tried to get the junkos to step on the tsumikis (there were 3 of us, including me) w 2 junkos bc i requested it but the junkos didnt wanna accidentally pantyshot the camera so we got up from our kneeling positions haha and haji went to the dealers room for a while while this was going on and i tried to help the mikan when she said she got a cut on her face but she said it was alright and eventualy haji came back and i left w her and we decided not to go to the m.lp panel that i kind of wanted to go to and instead went to the dealers room and looked around and i showed her the idol merch table and haji said she’d buy me anything bc she didnt get to give me a birthday present earlier on in the year so i looked around for a Big hamster plushie or something but those seemed expensive so we came back to the idol table and got me the tori keychain i’d been wanting since yesterday or thirsday and haji got a tsukasa and then we ran into the ppl running the fine panel and we all joked abt “ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS, EICHI!!” 

and we walked around for a bit more before going to the rw.by panel but we could barely hear and we had to sit at the back of the room due to lack of seats so haji and i just whispered to eachother the whole time and i had haji read part of an en.stars smut fic w impregnation kink (just kink not actual mpreg) and a lil stupid thing i wrote abt rei and koga and then we watched the service dog near us near the other corner and watched it lick the carpet and Rest and enjoyed watchin it then we tried to walk around and someone asked for a pic of me but i was like “UHH WHERES MY SYRINGE PROP” so haji thought i elft it on the floor of the other panel and she left to go find it while i waited near these ppl bc they were just hanging out anyway and i kept worrying like “shes been gone for a while.. is she okay this shouldve been quick oh god” and my cramps started returning a lil but i tried to keep myself calm and the uraraka was like “are you okay i can go try n retkrkieve her if she got lost” and i was like “it’s okay” and eventually i checked deep in my bag and found it and i tried to call haji but she arrived just as i called her and i was like “i found it im sorry aa” and then we Ran to the en.stars panel

AND THE EN.STARS PANEL WAS SO SO MUCH FUN!! I have the first half recorded on video and since it’s rly late rn, i wont type too much abt that, but i asked eichi if he was anyone’s sugar daddy and, if not, would he be mine and he said he was kind of one to hajime and bought him lots of things and haji asked who was the most into minions and it was apparently Tori and i showed them the scooby doo au i made w some of haji’s assistance and showed wtaru (and the others) the Scoobkai Doonata that i drew and they all were laughing and i wa glad aa and the topic of vore came up again and i showed them shino’s ku.rochia vore post and the kiryu was like “OH MY GOD CAN I GIV U MY TWITTER SO I CAN BE SENT THAT” and the panelists were laughing and tori read the tweet aloud while laughing and i told them the ensemble vore account and eichi was like “well, theyve prob gained more followers today” and i asked if anyone in the audience wanted to see it and omeone rasied their hand so i showed them and they were laughing too and it was Wild.wataru apparently named his doves after fine members and tomoya, and i asked kiryu if he could lift rabits + fine and they nodded and i later asked if he knew that he’s a thicc bara and the fandom thirsts for him and he laughed and nodded. Haji asked them if they’d heard rainbow circus nightcore bassboosted and the eichi said they played it at practice ssometimes (i thick this was ooc not in-character answer) and someone in the audience actually KNEW the person who made that and messaged them and they messaged them that tori said they liked them and the rainbow cisurcus stuff and the person replied w “ Why” and honestly this whole panel was FUN but so someone told us where the en.stars buttons were so the fine group, their friend the kiryu, haji, and i all went to the booth and got buttons and i said goodbye to eeryone and walked around for a minute then haji n i went into the vol.tron talk panel and haji had to leave aww and after that the vol.tron panel was mostly shitty fanfic reading, swearing, and roasts and i wanted to go to vol.tronival but for reason i thought thatd be rude bc the panelists were like “we have to compete w... THAT” and so i stayed and went on my ipad most of the time.

I went to the per.sona 5 q and a and it was so full that i had to stand in the back but they sometimes kept bringing up per.sona 4 and perso.na 3 so i was confused and they said they were abt to start trivia and it might have spoilers so i took that opportunity to leave bc i dont want spoilers and it was kind of boring so i walked around the dealers room and i found a Rock and Uno and i talked to them and turns out the Rock was actually the mondo from the day before bc they said “hey, sweetie!” in a nice tone and i was confused and they were like “ah im the mondo btw!” so we talked and i talked abt how i watched both seasons of nan.baka in like.. 2 days and i was like “uno’s best boy-” and rock (as a joke) went deadpan and walked away and i was like “ROCK IS ALSO A GOOD BOY JUST.. UNO...” and rock came back and i said that uno and nico stole my heart and uno fistbumped me and rock was like “you should cosplay w us sometime~!” and i said i was considering doing uno but couldnt and i cant do most of the characters bc long sleeves and rock said i’d be cute as the chinese qi kid and i was like “i cant paint myself either but thank you!” and they had to leave but i got rock’s tumblr and they called me cute or sweet and i looked around the dealers room for a second more before scurrying to the LL panel and apparently the thing was 2 hours??

but anyway it was p funny and we all just messed around and did q and a and games like handshake  killer and karaoke! i sang half of Sentimental Liars but my voice wasnt as loud as i wouldve liked it and kind of shaky bc i was cold and Nervous and the nico from the panel and another random guy clapped for me and the 2 en.stars fans in front of me said my voice sounded nice and at some point i overheard those 2 talking abt making a screamo cover of melody in the dark and i was like “omfg are yall gonna actually make a cover. go fully hardcore” and Dead girl walking and candy store got sung and it was a Fun panel. the kiryu from earlierwalked in too so when everyone was talkign to eachother near the end of the panel, i asked shino if they wanted to say anything to the kuro and shino asked them how ranking went and the kiryu said they couldnt rank and shino was just so happy and keysmashing and asked f i could say “pls lift me mr.bara” and the kiryu chuckled and the kiryu was like “do they want me to like.. do anyfin?” so i asked shino and all he said was “DAB” so i took a pic of the kiryu dabbing and shino said they hadnt been feeling well so it cheered them up so i told the kiryu that and they said to tell shino that that made them happy and when the kiryu and i swapped tumblr apparently they already follow me and im like “FGNEGN DUDE.. I KNO U IVE SEEN U IN MY FOLLOWERS LIST IM YUMENOSAKIACADEMY ROX...” n they were like “oH” and they showed me a funny post abt shu and i proposed a tri.ch shu hc and then they ahd to leave but i stayed for the vol.tron panel but i was messaging shino thru most of it but i saw lynds (as lance) get hugged by the panel’s lance and i read some en.stars doujins and messaged another friend too so i wasnt paying much attention, then istill stayed in the room for the rw.by panel, but same i was just on my ipad but i saw some of the dares and the jaune sang and stuff and evemtually it was over and i walked around taking pics before going outside to wait for dad to pick me up 

and i took a pic of a pidge, lance, and keith and gav em lollipops and the pidge was like “omg ur nails.. wait, did u go to a hai.kyuu panel last year?” and i was like “ah, no i was casu.al d v a” and they were like “yea, but u went TO  a hai.kyuu panel, yea?” and i said yea and they were like “aa i was the hinata u talked to. i recognized u bc the nails” and i laughed bc thats my only noticable feature, huh. pff