#add a pinch of childhood-friends-to-lovers AND YOU GOT ME GOOD

[tired-writer-in-progress]

Are you comfortable with writing a Teruko x fem!reader where the reader is her childhood best friend and how they both happened to end up in the same killing game together? (Maybe add a pinch of a friends to lovers thing going on if you’re ok with that idk I’m a sucker for wholesome content ;w;)

That I can do!

"YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I TRUST.": Teruko Tawaki x F!Reader.

"Oh, Y/N." Teruko casually greeted you as you entered the dining hall later in the day, after everyone had had their breakfast. You looked up at Teruko, surprised.

"Ruko- Ah... I mean, Teruko... Good morning." you nervously greeted her back, rubbing your arm. The lucky student frowned, knowing how uncomfortable the situation was between the two of you. But she brought it upon herself. She trusted someone so easily, and... She got betrayed. You knew how much she cared for Xander, and now...

With a sigh, you sat down a few chairs away from her after you grabbed your portion of your breakfast. The brunette occasionally snuck some glances at you while you were there. There was something in her eyes, but you couldn't really pinpoint what it was.

"...When will you start trusting others again?" you asked, not really thinking what you were saying. Teruko paused, nearly dropping her fork.

"What do you mean?" she asked. You could practically hear the venom in her voice at the question. You didn't really flinch at it, in fact, you expected this reaction from her. Maybe continuing the subject was a good idea.

"Just what I meant. Teruko. I'm not saying fully trusting them. But... would it really kill you to help with looking for a way to escape with the others?" you asked. Teruko glared at you. Something she had never done in her entire life before.

"Teruko..."

"Shut up Y/N. Yes. Yes it will. You saw what happened with Xander and Min." she spat out, gripping her fork tightly. You remained calm.

"That's true. What happened to Xander and Min was devastating-"

"No! Ugh, I mean what Xander tried to do. I trusted him, and he tried to kill me because some stupid note? Yeah right..." she huffed, getting up, leaving her food half eaten.

"Teruko..." you whispered. Mustering whatever courage you had, you walked up to her and grabbed her hand. In response, she whipped out the knife she had hidden in her clothes, pointing it at your throat. You winced, but stayed calm.

Teruko continued to glare at you, putting away the knife slowly after a few seconds. She huffed. "It's better that you do whatever plan Eden has to escape. Because I won't." she coldly told you. You still didn't let go of her hand.

"And that's fine. I'm not asking you to help us escape, nor come with us. I just... want to go back to the old times." you whispered. To that, Teruko stopped. She slowly turned her head to you.

"You know, when we were dumb kids who thought we could take on the world. When you didn't care as much about your luck as you do know. When we trusted each other." you smiled. The brunette stared at you for a while.

"You mean when I accidentally blew up a washing machine in the orphanage?" she deadpanned. You snorted, holding in your laugh.

"Aaah, I remember that time! It was so funny seeing the reaction of the owner!" you giggled out, finally letting go of Teruko's hand "She never found out either! Hahahaha!" Teruko made out a small noise before she huffed out a small laugh.

"Yeah, her face was a bit funny. I do feel bad for burning the wall on accident." she admitted "but you knew. Why didn't you say anything?" she asked. You shook your head.

"Why would I sell out my best friend?" you asked, making her eyes widen "I'm not that stupid. Back then, you were the only one I trusted. AND I still do, no matter what." you admitted. The brunette stared at you in surprise, before a small smile made its way to her face, her cheeks flushing a bit.

"Heh... Yeah, that sounds about right."

[mantareidraws]

Ship dynamics are all over twt rn so here's one that I'm weak to!!

Am i being obvious? Absolutely.

[muniimyg]

happily ever after // pjm

things untold; a collection of fleeting moments

# 3 ! the one where oc is the villain 

navi | m. list | ask me ! | add yourself to my taglist !

pairing:

hero!jimin + villain!oc

au/genre:

childhood lovers to exes to friends to ??

post break up au / wedding au

fluff / mid attempt at a slow burn / angst aNGST ANGSTTTTTT !!!

warnings:

suggestions of infidelity

mentions of pregnancy / toxic mindset of needing to marry someone for the sake of the baby

pettiness / slight gaslighting

slight one sided pining / healing

wc: 1.4k~ (sadgirl hour)

“Ah,” you sigh, completely out of breath, “there you are!”

Jimin listens to the sound of your heels approaching. He does nothing to respond, hardly even flinching as you nudge him. Standing beside him, you lean to take a good look at him. 

He wasn’t crying. 

He wasn’t smiling. 

He was lost.

“You okay? Everyone’s looking for you,” you inform him, knowing how easy it is  to guilt trip him. Your question is half assed. You knew the answer. He knew you knew it too. Still, you want to be considerate. Still, you want him to know you’re still here for him. 

“It’s funny, huh? The hero goes missing and it’s the villain that goes out to find them,” you attempt, wishing for him to do something. Anything. Poke you. Tell you to shut up. Anything but ignore you.

Thankfully, Jimin joins you in a breathy laugh escapes his lips. You can’t help but smile too. You feel relieved.

“I’m no hero,” he sighs.

You snort, “are you a villain with me?”

“In a world where two villains fall in love and it ends in unforgivable betrayal; why is their love still so beautiful?”

At first, he announces it jokingly. Towards the end, it sounds like a confession. He chuckles.

Upon realizing his words, his shoulders follow after his chuckle, shaking his head. You ignore the faint sobs that echo. Jimin raises his hands, placing his thumb and index finger in between his eyes, and pinches the top of his nose bridge. His head tilts back as he shuts his eyes closed. He groans in defeat. You give him a moment as he collects his thoughts.

You knew this part like how people recite lines from their favourite movies. He’s trying to stop himself from breaking down. Oldest trick in the book considering the fact that it was you who taught him this when you were kids. The silence between you two is enough for you to hear the bees buzzing, the birds chirping, and the sound of the wind rustling through the leaves on the trees and brushes. 

The garden you two are standing in front of is beautiful. It’s especially breath-taking on purple summer afternoons. Today, it’s an early spring morning. It’s a clear sky that awaits new beginnings—or perhaps slow endings.

Today, he stands in your garden betrothed to another.

This garden is placed behind your childhood church and always felt like your hidden place. Your safe haven; your special place. Though everyone knew you could be found here, they misjudge and never predict Jimin to be here almost as much as you. Though unspoken, this garden was yours and his.

Where the short brushes and jungle of plants face each other and the grass and flowers grow on top of the old brick tiles; the tall trees let just the right amount of sunlight in to illuminate the rusty white tea table set up. It’s then you notice that the second chair is missing.

It’s now a table for one. 

“Do you remember the time where we pretended to have a wedding when we realized we were going to break up eventually?” Jimin asks you, interrupting your train of thought. 

You look at him, trying your best to contain your laugh at such a silly memory. You remember it, of course you do. You wore your favourite white midi sun dress and Jimin wore his navy button up open, khaki pants, and his white shirt was stained from the dirt. He picked you flowers and got a little messy with it. You held them proudly as you walked towards him.

You two broke but later that week.

“Are you serious?” you grin, unhinged at the memory.

“Dead serious,” he states calmly. “I think about it a lot these days, you know? What could’ve been if I just fucking stayed.”

You don’t like where this is going. Everything begins to collapse. “Jimin—“

“___, we didn’t break up because we stopped loving each other. You know that,” Jimin begs you to. “We broke up because we wanted each other to live our life to the fullest and it’s embarrassingly ironic how I only truly loved life when I was with you.”

You look at him in disbelief. He’s crushing your spirit. He’s breaking your heart.

“You’re my soulmate, ___.”

His tone is clear cut and you’re unsure of what emotions to make out of it. He isn’t usually like this and that is what throws you off. He is hardly ever this serious or this direct to the point. How do you fix this? How do you pretend like he’s not spiraling right now? How do you take back ever approaching him? 

In Jimin’s head, he can’t help but run every memory with you back. It plays like a broken record every day, and even more so these days. Especially since his mother told him that you RSVPed yes. He knows it sounds desperate, but that’s exactly what he is whenever you’re around.

He wants something from you and he’s itching to find out if you would give in. He wants to ask if you’d do him one last favour—grant him one last wish.

Jimin wants to ask if he could have one more ‘last’ of everything. 

One more last kiss, one more last hug, one more last slow dance—one more last of everything.

He hopes that if you two did everything one last time—it could last forever. That unlike now, you two could be together one last time. 

Could you even love him one last time?

Jimin clears his throat as he finds discomfort in your unresponsiveness. Your eyes flicker to him and greet him with a worried look. Like children, he chooses to ignore your clear signals because he wants to be selfish. 

One last confession. 

“I wish you never dumped me,” he admits. “I would’ve stayed if you asked me to.”

Immediately, you defend; “it wasn’t about what I wanted—“

“Then what was it about?” Jimin cries out in frustration, “because I wanted you. You wanted the world and you were mine. Of course I gave you what you wanted.”

“It was about what was best for us.”

“You were what was best for me.”

You groan, “for fucks sake, JImin. If you were this upset you could’ve—“

“Treated you like my world? Tell you to stay after you insisted on me to leave? I could have. I could have gotten down on my knees and begged too.”

“No, no, no—“

Jimin, before you could stop him, drops down on his knees.

“Like this,” he insists.

“Jimin, don’t be a fool,” you whisper yell, bending down to pull him up, “don’t ruin this for yourself.”

He clenches his fists, eyes blurring from the tears that are threatening to fall. God, he hated it when his emotions beat him to it.

He’s usually more level-headed than this. When you two were children, he was always the one to navigate you two out of the mess. Now, he’s standing in the middle of it. 

Standing in front of you in this stupid cursed garden instead of standing beside you at the alter. Standing in the middle of an untamed love that is filled with so much life yet shadows of misery. It’s a garden filled with so many secrets and so many memories he’s dying to talk about with you. He recalls every childish tea party, every sunny picnic, every breakup and makeup; the fake wedding, and now a wedding that wasn’t with you. 

To live a life without you. To love someone that wasn’t you. To be without you from now on and being left with his “what if’s.” He never really stressed about if you two would end up together or not because always assumed you two would. That this break, though done young, would heal you two together again. 

But in the midst of his ache, Jimin went out of his way to find parts of you in others. He met people who attained 20 percent of you, hoping to fulfill the 80 percent that you kept. For years, he tries to convince himself he was right to live his life the way he did. Watching your life through pictures was okay and learning to unlove you would happen over time. 

Except time hasn’t healed him yet and you look ravishing. It’s like you’re rubbing salt into his open wounds. What’s worse is that you seem happy without him— that you’re happy for him.

Jimin lets his tears fall. You stretch your arms out, wiping it away. He catches your hand and holds them still, cupping his face. You can’t move. He sinks into them, kissing the palm of your wrist. You still smell like you and it kills him. 

One last kiss.

This moment is slowly killing you too. You feel like you can hardly breathe and like you’re committing a sin. You try to shake away from his grip. He holds on to you tighter with pleading eyes. 

“Ruin this for myself?” he bawls, “___, you ruined me.”

“I know.”

One last heartbreak. 

“I thought I could do this. I thought I could have you here and celebrate what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life,” Jimin sniffs, putting his hands up in surrender. Every part of him wants to give up. “But fuck, I didn’t realize how it would feel to lose you again.”

“You aren’t losing me,” you comfort, uncertain if you should entertain the idea of you still being a part of his life. “We were good, but this is better.”

Maybe this was a mistake. 

Everything seemed to be fine at the engagement party—why the sudden change of heart now? You spent weeks telling yourself that this wedding was just an invite. Everyone has one! It’d be rude to turn it down when you know how much you two meant to each other. Besides, this was the dream.. To be at each others weddings. Yet, given your circumstances, maybe your invite should have gotten lost in the mail. You wish it had.

“Besides, I may be your soulmate, but she’s the love of your life. You’re marrying her because you—“

“Idiot,” Jimin growls. “I got her pregnant. I fucked up, I know!” Your face falls, devastated. He knows he disappointed you. “And, I don’t know if I love her but I’m doing the hero thing and marrying her.”

“Oh my god. You’re the idiot!” you gasp. “You’re right. You are no hero. How does unhappily marrying her make hers, the baby’s, and your life any better?” Every bit of you is filled with a bittersweet feeling. His mindset is disgustingly off.

“It won’t. I’m sure it’ll be difficult,” he accepts, “but she asked me to stay. This is me staying.”

You hold your breath.

“You don’t have to do this—“

“This is me giving you an out. ___,” he offers with so much pain in his voice, “I need you to leave or I’ll end up fucking objecting my own wedding..”

“Jimin,” you shoot him a warning look. It does nothing. “Don’t be a hero.”

“Then you be it,” he can’t help but begin to sob, “I can’t marry her if you’re here.”

“No, don’t say shit like that—“

“___, we both fucking know it should be you.”

You burn. You ache. You begin to fall apart.

It takes so much out of you to remind him: “Jimin, your mother and your fiancé sent me to look for you. This is wrong. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you, but regardless: you are getting married—“

“I married you first.”

He grips both your wrists, eyes chasing yours. His eyes beg for yours to look into his. Deep and filled with so much sorrow, you see it. You see glimmer in the dust. 

It’s too much. 

You collect yourself, shut your eyes, and push yourself away from him. 

Every moment before that, he wants to believe you’ll save him. He’s tired of being the hero. He’s tired of doing everything you say he should. He’s tired of loving the wrong person just to do the right thing. 

Finally, he lets you go—something you wish he had done sooner than this. Jimin’s face falls like an unknowing tragedy has come to wreak havoc. 

Shakily, you softly say, “she loves you—“

“I loved you first,” he reminds you one last time.

One last “I love you.”

“I know,” you force yourself to smile—unwilling to let your true feelings show, “and I’ll love you last.”

[quirrrky]

『MASTERLIST』 « PREV ⁃ NXT »

𖧵 1k+ words 𖧵 Your childhood best friend, Keiji is the editor of your romance novel; is it too late for him to figure things out? 𖧵 oblivious/mutual pining, friends to lovers? unrequited love?

“Akaashi-san, what do you think about it?”

“Huh?” Keiji’s mind wandered as his co-worker told him about her most recent project.

“I mean the approach of the current manga I’m working with.”

“Oh, I…” He pushed his glasses up his nose. Nope, he wasn’t listening. “I guess it’s great.”

She giggled and smiled primly. “Thank you, if you say it’s great then I believe that it is. After all, it’s you Akaashi-san. You’re- I- I really admire you a lot.” A blush crept across her face. “Oh, excuse me. My shoelace.” She bent down and tended to her shoes.

Keiji fixed the sling of his messenger bag on his shoulder and watched. He watched as her fingers worked on the lace and he was then reminded of you. How he never let you tie your own shoes because he’d rather do it himself. It’s like he had a sixth sense that he had only for you. Whenever you needed him, he’s right there ready to come and heed your call.

“I’m sorry, Akaashi-san.” His co-worker called out as she stood up straight, cutting him from his contemplation.

“Oh- Uh, yeah…”

It’s a stroke of luck when the cafe they were supposed to have a meeting in was already fully occupied. Now, they had to settle at your favorite place. The aromatic scent of coffee welcomed him and the thought of you automatically sprang to his mind. It had been days since you’d last talked to each other. He messaged you multiple times but you said you were busy. He didn’t want to come off as intruding so he gave you space. Space which he’d never thought he’d find very cold and distant.

“I’ll get us drinks.” His co-worker volunteered as Keiji put his bag down on the table.

“Sure,” he sat down. Looking outside, it began raining just like that last time you had last seen each other.

“Here,” she placed own two cups on the table and took her seat. “I didn’t know what you like so I just got you a latte.”

“That’s fine, that’s fine.” He got his cup near his lips. He noticed that she was about to sip her drink and he accidentally asked. “You forgot to add cinnamon?” She tilted her in question.

“Cinnamon?”

He pinched his brows and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I forgot. It was someone else.”

It was you. He remembered how you would complain to him at time she forgot to add cinnamon to your coffee.

“Hmm…Akaashi-san

“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s good. That manga our chief has asked me to help you with, what’s it about?” He asked and took a sip of his coffee as he leaned in on his seat.

Keiji tried to listen, initially, trying to keep his mind busy with work, but even that didn’t seem to be effective. He’s supposed to be jotting down important notes, but his brain was completely elsewhere. Last night was even worse. Did he get a sleep? Of course...not. He turned and twisted all night. His mind was going around in scribbles.

Trying to veer himself from thought of you during a meeting, his eyes lazily wandered to her and noticed that she had a coffee stain right across her lips. He fetched a table napkin and handed it to her. “You have a stain.”

She immediately took it from his hand and he watched as she wiped it away. He recalled reaching out for you from across the table just to wipe the stain yet he didn’t feel the same compulsion for anyone else. Was it just pure coincidence? Does telepathy every exist? He asked himself this sort of questions but somehow, he had this better knowing, that it’s not telepathy nor crazy coincidence, it’s him. He wanted to be the one by your side.

“I-I’m sorry. Thank you for pointing that out.” She said, but Keiji was still so lost in thoughts.

Flustered, she lit up a little at his focused gaze. She smiled sweetly to him. The kind of smile that could surround anyone with warm white light; a smile that would make it seem like the world just stopped.

Keiji felt it all and his eyes showed longing. His lips painted the same smile on his face like he had finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel. He never thought that he’d finally wake up and everything would finally come to him and everything has new meaning.

In his sight, it was you all along, the one always smiling back at him.

And it felt all too wrong to be seated here spending time with another woman in your favorite place.

“I’m sorry.” Without any second thoughts, Keiji stood up.

“Akaashi-san?” She called out to him but he didn’t listen.

He ran towards the direction of your university, hoping that he could still catch up to you. Looking at his watch, the rain drops fogged the time, but he didn’t care anymore. All he knew was he wanted to get to you as soon as possible. All this time, how dumb of him. He’d never thought that he’d wake up to the thought of loving you.

They've been best friends for a very long time...if he truly loves her, he must've known all along.

He must’ve hurt you when he said it was a stupid thought, but now the same stupid thought was everything running in his mind over and over as fast as he ran to you.

The things he thought only existed in fiction...in your fiction, were actually his reality all along. He wanted to be the one who wipes away your tears. You were the one whom he always called first whenever he had problems. All this time, he’s doing everything so you would remain in his life. How come he hadn’t correlate all this things much earlier?

The traffic light stopped him from his tracks and he saw the classmate whom you always told was bothering you from across the street. Perhaps, he wasn’t too late. He instantly smiled as soon as he saw you emerged. He was about cross the street, but stopped when he saw your classmate wrapped an arm around you close under his umbrella.

She deserves someone better. Someone who wouldn't take her feelings for granted and someone...who wouldn't overlook her.

Droplets of rain dripped from the tip of his fingers and so were from the strands of his hair. His own words thrown at him like daggers of ice. Keiji stood frozen.

A/N: I hope you will forgive me in this chapter 🙏 TAGLIST: drop this emoji 🍁 on my ask box to be added

🍁 @bethbat @moon-mars-ikemen @tessabrown101 @bakaashit @sweet-lovely-bambam @vicolangelo @god-has-forsaken-me @avis-writeshq @putmeinyourdeathnote @queenelleee @books-music-fangirl @kozuken-ma @shimmerains @tinyegg 

REBLOGS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED ♡ Please help me reach other viewers. Thank you so so much!

© quirrrky 2021 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means. ✧ DAYDREAM MUSEUM ✧

[hannie-dul-set]

araw-araw [na jaemin]

(EVERY DAY)

part of “the puhon playlist” collection

SUMMARY | mahiwaga— someone or something that you’ll choose every single day no matter the circmstance. and for you, that was na jaemin. even if time decides to set you apart PAIRING | na jaemin x female! reader GENRE | childhood friends to lovers! au, college! au, romance, slow-ish burn, fluff, humor, tiny angst, biology major jaemin and art major mc HEHE WARNINGS | excessive swearing, insecurities, some sex jokes LMAO, i project a lot in this i’m sorry JSFJG WORD COUNT | 14.5k TAGLIST | @prettyjaems @lcvemark @shra-vasti @danishmiilk @probablygonnahurtsomebody @jccv @rebel-lious-alien @dalkomhanchocolateicecream @kthpurplesyou @fullsuhnshine​ @dejvns @nctzun @sweetjaemss @sehunniepot @wownajaemin @emoshishi @holywaterbetch @ukiyoneo @injunified @huangxx​ @jaehyunnie3​ @nct-writers​ @czennienet​ @neowritingsnet​ @kpopscape​

a/n: HERE IT IS.... MY PRIDE AND JOY JHSFJSD gahh okay i’m gonna keep my rambling to a minimum but this fic is very close and very dear to my heart and if it isn’t obvious that i’m in love with jaemin then this fic will make it obvious LMAO

also do yourself a favor and listen to ben&ben’s araw-araw on loop while reading this!! adds to the ~vibe~ hehe

Five-thirty-seven in the morning, grey clouds stretching throughout the sky as you peeked outside the window, falling right above oceans and buildings and people that you couldn’t even see. You sighed as you sank deeper into your chair, closing your eyes and adjusting your earbuds to clear your thoughts that were brought about by your sudden move.

You felt a nudge from beside you, coming from your mother (your dad was long knocked out since earlier), and so you politely pulled the earbuds away. “Excited to come back to Korea?” she asked. You simply responded with a smile and hum.

It wasn’t like you didn’t like the idea of returning— it was the prospect that it did not even feel like you were returning in the first place. Indifference was what you felt. After moving to Los Angeles when you were twelve because of your father’s job, you had to say goodbye to all your friends living in your hometown, all the traditions and customs that you were used to, and all the memories that you have built up in order to get used to a new environment. Seven years later when you thought you were just about to fit in with the west, your father comes out with the news of going back to Seoul again.

So it was difficult to manage a full smile.

You had a thought as you looked down through the window, recognizing a few of the landmarks that stood out: how strange it was to have somewhere that used to be home feel so foreign.

Just as you were about to put in your earbuds back in, your mother suddenly brightened, looking at you with a large smile on her face, eliciting your curious gaze.

“Oh! Do you still remember your old friend Jaemin?”

A smile tugged at your lips. How could you forget him?

Na Jaemin. Nana. Jaems. Your childhood best friend for six years until you were forcibly shipped all the way to LA. You still remembered how hesitant you were to tell him that you were moving because you didn’t want him to cry— only to have you crying and refusing to let go of him until your parent's pried you off of him at the airport. He assured you while wiping away your tears that you’d still get to see him one day.

Maybe that day would actually be one of these days.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, fiddling with the drawstrings of your jacket. “Why? I haven’t been in contact with him for years now.”

“His mom and I talked the other day and I told her that we’re moving back! And just earlier, she told me that Jaemin volunteered to pick us up from the airport so we won’t have to take a cab. Isn’t that great? You’d get to be reunited with your old friend again.”

“Ah,” you paused for a moment, in thought, just before pressing your lips together into a tight smile. “Yeah, it would be nice to see him again.”

That was what you said, but even until you left the plane, lugging your baggage across the cold floors of the airport with your music at full volume to drown out the noise, you were actually rather conflicted about meeting him again. A lot could happen within seven years, and therefore there was no assurance that things would still be the same. You weren’t sure if he’d still be the same sweet boy that was determined to fight the park swings after you fell and cried, if he’d still be the same kid that stopped talking to you for three days because you tricked him into eating a strawberry flavored lollipop. Maybe he’d still be, maybe he wouldn’t, but it was exactly that uncertainty that made you feel uneasy.

Still, there was still a hint of excitement, a string that tugged your heart away from all the uneasiness, just enough to bring a smile to your face at the thought of seeing him again.

“Y/N, let’s go?”

Your father called out to you and you didn’t even realize that you have actually stopped walking amidst your musings.

“Oh, yeah I—” you stumbled in between the ever moving airport crowd, looking down to see your shoelace had become undone, and so you let go of your suitcase. “You two go ahead, I’ll catch up in a sec!”

You ducked down, right beside the large, grey case to fix it, lips pursed in concentration. People passed by without minding you too much, but at one instance, just as you had finished retying your shoelace, your suitcase moved away from you with a shadow looming from above. Panic struck, and so you jolted up, instincts forcing your hand to move, quickly grabbing the handle. There was another hand resting on it. Your eyes moved up to meet with the culprit's.

Weirdly enough, he was just as shocked as you are.

Even weirder— he looked way, way too attractive to be a thief. Or maybe that was the modus these days? Still, you harshly dragged back the suitcase, ripping it away from his grasp with a glare. “What the fuck—”

At that moment, you recalled your mother’s words. Jaemin volunteered to pick us up from the airport. This guy looked a little too much like your old friend from your old neighborhood.

It felt like you were looking into the exact same large, dark eyes that used to be always accompanied by a pretty smile, now matched by a mouth hanging slightly agape from surprise. He even had the same dark hair that always messily fell over his eyes. There was a moment of pause in between the rush of bodies, the both of you in a frozen trance staring at each other until you had finally realized that motherfucker— this was Na Jaemin.

When did he get so hot?

“I—”

He flashed you a smile. The same damned smile. It brought you to the conclusion that seven years really didn’t do anything except make him far too attractive for his own good. All of a sudden you felt self-conscious about your own appearance as you gawked at him. God really liked to play favorites, huh?

You could see him say something, his lips moving just enough to represent a few words, but it was muffled thanks to the blaring music. Your confusion reflected clearly on your face contorting, and Jaemin only shook his head and laughed before reaching his hands to your face, bringing you to a momentary halt of haywire because what the actual fuck was he doing.

“You shouldn’t listen to music too loudly in public,” he said, pulling your earbuds out of your ears and gingerly placing them into your open palms with a smile. Holy fuck, his voice got so deep. “I’ve been calling out to you since earlier, but you couldn’t hear. Let’s go, your parents are waiting.”

Before you could even try to recollect yourself from the sudden crashing of events, Jaemin took your suitcase in your stead, leading you to his car.

If you still weren’t sure whether or not this was Na Jaemin from your past, you were now because although a bit watered down, he was just as excessively weird and sweet as he was ages ago. You found yourself feeling stupid for even doubting it in the first place. Of course, he was still the same; he even chirps your name in the same way as he always did before.

“There we go,” with a huff, the trunk came to a close. He threw your suitcase in there after seeing your mini struggle episode with far too little effort for your peace of mind. “You should just ask me next time. Okay, Y/N?”

“Thanks,” you gave him a small nod, flustered when he pinched your left cheek while making a questionable noise, and he opened the car door for you to enter.

Maybe it was you that had changed.

You were fairly quiet throughout the car ride while your parents and Jaemin decided to catch up after everything, only listening and giving your reactions whenever needed. You weren’t a morning person and your jetlag wasn’t doing you of any help either.

“You’re in your third year, right Jaemin?” your father asked, sitting at the front seat as your mother and you sat behind.

“Yep, yep,” he happily replied.

“Time really does fly fast, doesn’t it?” your mother joined in. “What uni do you go to, Jaemin?”

“Ah,” he sounded, eyes still directed on the road. “NCT U. It’s the closest at home, and I didn’t really wanna move out.”

“Oh, what a coincidence! Y/N isn’t that where you’re planning on going, too?”

“Really?” you could see Jaemin’s eyes brighten from the mirrors. “Y/N, do you want me to help you with your requirements? Have you enrolled already? I can give you a tour if you want!”

He’s really the same. You thought, smiling. “It’s fine, Jaemin. I already enrolled and took care of everything online.”

“But I should still tour you, though!” he retorted, the pout and whine evident in his voice. “The campus is really big so you might get lost. Ah, but aren’t universities in the States much bigger? I can also introduce you to some of my friends if you like.”

Jaemin went on for a while, telling your parents not to worry and promising that he’d take care of you throughout your college life here in Korea despite your protests that you could very much take care of your own self. Eventually, your mother asked about his major, and his animated expressions dimmed down into a slight bashfulness after answering that he was taking biology. You joined the conversation upon hearing that. “You said back then that you wanted to be a surgeon, right?”

With a shy smile, he nodded, and at that moment you felt a rush of awe for your childhood friend. Your parents seemed to have reacted the same way seeing as he was growing a little more embarrassed. It was amazing how he held on to the same dream he held since he was a kid— the amount of passion and dedication he must have for it. You on the other hand—

“What about you, Y/N?”

You jumped at the sudden subject switch. “Oh, I’m—” a pause in your statement. “I’m… taking an arts course.”

“Wow! As expected, Y/N is as cool as always,” he doted, which caused you to flush.

“It’s— it’s not really that amazing, it’s just the only thing I’m kinda good at so—”

“No, no, no. Y/N, you shouldn’t say that,” he scolded, clicking his tongue while his hands remained on the wheel. Your mother was beside you yet he was the one doing the mom nagging. “Who is that again? Bob Ross? Leonardo DiCaprio? You’re gonna be much much much better than them someday, I just know it! I have something called Nana vision, you know.”

You stifled a quiet laugh, not having the heart to correct him that it was not DiCaprio. “Does your Nana vision also see that we’re already almost at the complex?”

“Oh!”

At your words, Jaemin’s attention was now a hundred percent back on driving, profusely apologizing for getting distracted. You could see his ears slightly reddening from your seat which lasted until the end of the drive. Jaemin helped your family carry everything to your apartment on the eighth floor, even volunteering to help you unpack. Your mother firmly declined, however, insisting him to take a rest after all his help, but she did invite him and his parents over for dinner tomorrow. A little reunion of sorts.

“Six in the evening, right?”

“Yes. You should head back home now, Jaemin. Thank you for everything.”

He shot a bright smile before readying to march outside. “We’ll be here by five!”

She laughed at him, shaking her head, and proceeded to look for you inside the mess of the living room. You were about to disappear inside your room, luggage in hand to unpack, but she quickly dragged you back by the ear. “Go see him out the door!” she whisper-yelled, and so you did. Fortunately, he was stopped by your father before he got to leave, so you took this opportunity to smoothly stride beside him as he slipped past the door when he said goodbye. The door clicked to a close. He raised a brow at you.

“Mother’s orders,” you answered.

“So you wouldn’t have gone out if she didn’t tell you to?” he huffed, pouting. “And I was really happy to see you, too. I think I might have to take that back.”

You rolled your eyes at him, laughing, and eventually you made it to the end of the hallway. “Too late. You can’t take back your happiness. It’s good to see you again, Jaemin.”

The both of you stopped right in front of the elevator, and you waited for him to depart, but he didn’t. He had his arms crossed over his chest, accompanied by an expression on his face that you couldn’t quite tell if it was hurt, disappointment, or offense. Probably all three. Definitely all three.

“What? are you putting up a wall between us? Don’t I mean anything to you anymore?” he groused, nose scrunching. “What happened to Jaems? Nana? Y/N, you’re seriously hurting me over here.”

Laughing at the way he was sticking his frown right into your face to prove his point, you playfully shoved him off, pushing him into the elevator after all of his complaints even though he was the one moving his feet, anyway. You missed him, that much you could conclude, therefore you decided to stop his whining just before the elevator doors came to a close.

“See you tomorrow, Nana.”

You grinned, not missing the way his eyes lit up in between the small gap. You really did miss him, and you were lucky enough to have him as a small memory to remind you that this place was indeed home.

Maybe it wasn’t just Jaemin that you had missed. The entire family was just a smack in the face of early childhood nostalgia that you nearly cried (thank god you didn’t) when Mrs. Na buried you into a bone crushing hug the moment she saw you when you opened the door. You were really happy to be back— even when you weren’t exactly sure before.

“Mom, I think you’re suffocating, Y/N,” Jaemin pointed out as he left his shoes in front of your doorstep, walking inside with his father following behind him.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just couldn’t believe that this is you!” she coddled, and somewhere in between Jaemin found himself beside you. “I think I have pictures of you two when you were younger, hold on—”

Mrs. Na was pushed forward by her husband as she dug through her phone for a decade old Facebook posts of you and Jaemin (you hoped she wouldn’t remember you had an entire album). The older man ruffled your hair as he passed by with a fond smile, disappearing into the dining table where your parents were preparing and leaving you and Jaemin behind.

He was looking at you. Questionably so.

“What?”

“It’s not fair,” he whined. “I didn’t get to hug you yesterday.”

Oh my god, you shook your head, grabbing the sleeve of his mint jacket and leading him to where your parents were to help. “You’ll have more opportunities, you loser. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

Jaemin was speechless for a moment as he let you drag him along, but a happy smile broke through and he matched your steps halfway.

“Yeah,” he agreed. You weren’t going anywhere.

Dinner followed the usual sequence of events: reminiscing about the past, asking both parties what they have been up to, and of course talks about the future. During the meal, Jaemin asked when your classes were starting (next week), and he proposed his promised tour to be held this Tuesday— two days from now— because he didn’t have a lot of classes that day. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, neither did your parents, so you ended up agreeing.

Unfortunately for you, your mother pulled out the ancient photo album of the past right after dinner, and the stark contrast between yours and Jaemin’s reactions were also album worthy. By the end of it, you were sure that smoke was emitting from your ears because your good friend had an affinity with screaming over how cute you were, even going as far as stealing one of your baby pictures right before they decided to make their leave.

“Ah, ah,” he pulled the photo away the moment he sensed your attempt of theft. You two were standing right in front of the open door, his parents already having left ahead. “I’m keeping this. You look so cute here.”

“How am I so sure you won’t blackmail me with that!”

An offended gasp. “I would never,” he took out his phone, inserting your picture inside his colored phone case with you watching his every move. “It’s for me to see only, so you don’t need to worry.”

You looked at him. Then to the phone that he was holding up with a confident smile. You let out a sigh.

“Fine,” you begrudgingly relented, and he waddled over to you with a big smile on his face to envelop you into a hug. He smells nice, you thought, reciprocating the embrace. Wait, isn’t this my perfume? That would explain what he was doing inside your room earlier. You could only sigh inwardly let him keep on hugging you. He was whining about it earlier, after all.

It lasted long, maybe a bit too long because his dad came back to fetch him.

“Mhm, you can trust me with anything, Y/N,��� Jaemin mumbled before finally pulling away, his hands still resting on your shoulders as he did. “Anyway, before I go— should we exchange phone numbers?”

Tuesday came by, and you were met with two realizations. Both of which made you feel very very small in comparison.

One, NCT U was really freaking big.

Two, Na Jaemin was really freaking popular.

Granted, he had only shown you around the STEM department, but with every turn that you took and every hallway that you passed through, there was least one person that stopped by to say hi to him. Even some of the teachers were close with him. You should have expected it considering he was literally nice, smart, handsome, and everything you could ever ask for, but it still made him feel just a tiny bit out of reach.

“Are you feeling tired?” he asked, breaking away from a conversation with a senior. He put a hand over your shoulder with concern that reflected in his eyes. “We can take a break around the benches if you want.”

“Yeah, sure. After you—”

“I’ll talk to you later, hyung. See you around.”

Jaemin waved off his older friend, Yuta, you had overheard, and proceeded to lead you to the aforementioned area on the ground floor before stopping by a vending machine to get some drinks. You pressed your lips together, feet shuffling as you waited behind him, and then you finally decided to speak. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Do what?” he asked, slotting in a few coins into the machine.

“You— you with your friend,” you fumbled, trying your best to speak your mind, but how were you supposed to say ‘cut your conversation short with your friend because of me’ without seeming like a total headass? You could have waited until they were finished.

With a soft smile, he passed a canned, carbonated drink into your hands— lemon, you read— and took one for himself. He didn’t answer your incomprehensible question and decided to walk across the field leading to a bench area, but you were sure he got what you were trying to say. He simply chose not to answer. Or did he? Hell, you didn’t even know anymore. Annoyed, you decided to gulp down the drink in one go to distract yourself, even when the bubbles stung your throat. Jaemin stared at you in horror.

“Were you that thirsty? You should have told—”

“Na Jaemin!”

In sync, your heads snapped towards the direction of the ear-ripping screech, which was quite coincidentally where you two were headed. There were two boys sitting on a bench, one more on the table with a guitar. You assumed that it was one of them that screamed out your friend’s name— probably the one that was making eye contact with him before dramatically turning away with a butchered sob.

“Na Jaemin! Traitor of the brotherhood! I remember when he would still come running the moment I call his name but now— forgotten for dust! He doesn’t care about us anymore, Renjun. He even has a new—”

“What are you on about this time, Haechan?”

Haechan’s evidently fake sobbing stopped, pushing away the boy that he had just been crying into moments prior. “Oh you’re here,” he deadpanned.

It was almost horrific how three pairs of eyes immediately zeroed in on you as you meekly hid behind Jaemin, causing the hairs at the back of your neck to stand as if you were about to die in a fucking horror movie. You could tell from that alone that despite having many friends, these guys were probably his closest— whether it was better or worse, you had no idea. All of a sudden you were dawned with the intimidating task of trying to get them to like you, which was already way too out of reach because the one with the guitar was practically ripping you to shreds with his eyes alone.

“Please stop trying to scare, Y/N. Jeno, you might actually make her cry, stop that.”

“Whoops,” Jeno stopped his death staring. “Hyuck initiated it.”

“Actually it was Renjun, but whatever,” before Renjun could even bite back after being falsely accused, Haechan had already blocked him off and had directed his attention towards you, legs crossed and a critical gaze. “Fuck formalities. Y/N, right? Who are you and why are you trying to steal—”

“Alright, no more scare tactics. Y/N, there are my friends, Jeno, Haechan— or Donghyuck, whichever you prefer, he doesn’t mind— and Renjun. They’re just trying to mess with you, don’t worry. Friends, this Y/N L/N, my childhood friend for like four, five years before she left Korea and moved to LA.”

The term childhood friend lit a spark within the three boys, but before they could do or say anything dangerous that would jeopardize your relationship, Jaemin the ever popular boy was called out by a group of girls. He excused himself to leave for a moment, but not before apologizing to you a million times over (“If you’re really sorry,” Renjun chided before he ran off. “Treat us and Miss Y/N to Kun’s, yeah?”). He agreed without even hearing him properly, and now you were left with his three friends that felt more like three sharks that circled around you. They were fucking out for blood.

“So,” the moment Jaemin disappeared from the parameter, Haechan pulled you to the bench in between him and Renjun with a devilish grin. “Childhood friend, huh?”

Your eyes snapped over to Renjun who was on your right to ask for a way out of this, but the guy was busy filming the entire thing on his phone. Why did Jaemin leave you behind? You had no chance of escaping. Haechan locked you down by swinging his arm around your neck just as you were about to stand. He signalled at his friend who was sitting on the table. “Jeno, drop the beat.”

There was a moment of miscommunication in between because instead of dropping the beat like Haechan asked, Jeno started strumming a sickeningly sweet tune on his guitar. Or maybe that was what he intended. Either way, Haechan was flexible enough to go along with it.

“You know what they say about childhood friends,” another strum. Haechan sang. Was this a fucking oration? “You either end up forgetting each other, hating each other, or you end up toge—”

“That is not—”

“Hush!” he silenced. Renjun was losing it at the side. So was Jeno, because the guitar tune was long replaced by fits of strangled laughter. “It is, clueless Y/N. It is. How many childhood friends have you met that stayed as childhood friends? None, I assume. I’m never wrong, you see.”

“Weren’t you and Mark childhood friends, too—”

“Shut the fuck up, Huang. This isn’t about me. Y/N, listen.”

Grabbing your shoulders, Haechan pulled you away from Renjun, the sudden movement nearly giving you a whiplash.

“From my expert calculations, you and Jaemin are undeniably going down route three, but the both of you are moving at an agonizingly slow pace, correct?” you stared at him, wide eyed, and he was staring right back. “Correct! Now, in order to speed things up a bit, all you have to do is follow Hyuck’s five step guide on How To Trap Your Childhood Friend Into—”

“Isn’t this the same guide that ruined your—”

“I said shut the fuck up!”

The two ended up quarrelling and you ended up being forgotten. You weren’t sure whether to be thankful or be offended. Jeno shot you a look of remorse on behalf of his friends, bringing you to the conclusion that this must have been a normal occurrence. Your eyes shot towards the sky, clouds covering the sun just enough so you wouldn’t be blinded, ears picking up the argument occuring that went back and forth on both of your sides. They’re a lively bunch, you breathed out, a subtle smile on your face.

Eventually Jaemin showed his face again, jogging over to your group and you greeted him with a beaming grin. “You guys seem to be getting along,” he said the moment he stopped before you.

“Oh, Romeo returns,” Renjun decided to stop picking a fight with Haechan. “Where’d you get dragged off to this time?”

There was silence, all four sets of eyes heavily sparked with curiosity as you waited for Jaemin’s response, but the boy was rather hesitant. “Well—” he fumbled, a faint baby pink blush powdering his cheeks. Sheepish, he continued. “Someone confessed to me.”

The first person that reacted was Jeno, who released a loud snort and scooted a little more forward. “Shouldn’t you be used to it by now?” Jaemin indignantly refuted as he continued to be teased by the other two boys, the remaining uncharacteristically not joining in. At that very moment you could feel Haechan looking at you, a gaze that you couldn’t quite put a finger on but it was enough to shoot him a glare back.

“Who was it? Is she pretty?” you chose to ignore the annoying male beside you and decide to focus all of your interest and attention on Jaemin instead.

“Jiah,” he mindlessly answered, pushing Haechan to the side so he could sit next to you. “From nursing? I think?”

“Dude,” you turned your head to Renjun. “Kang Jiah? Holy shit, that’s crazy.”

Noticing the lost look in your eyes, Renjun proceeded to explain that not only was the alluded Kang Jiah arguably the prettiest in her department, she was at the top of her class too. You didn’t understand which part about that was crazy because for you, that was exactly the kind of person that Jaemin was destined to end up with. You wouldn’t be surprised if they do become a thing— well, there was only one way to find the answer to that.

“Well, what did you say? You said yes right?” you asked him, looking forward to his answer.

“Oh,” he shrugged. “I turned her down.”

What?

“Of course,” Renjun scoffed, shaking head with his arms crossed. “Only you would turn someone like Jiah down. At this rate you’ll end up dying an old hermit.”

“You have a crush on her or something?”

“Pff— no? I just think she’s pretty,”

“You’re not fooling anyone, dumbass. Come over here, I’m gonna squeeze it out of you—”

While the two quarrelled again in the middle of the field with Jeno being the one filming this time, you remained frozen in your seat, somewhat surprised. Huh, you blinked, wanting to ask him why he turned her down but frankly it was none of your business. You turned your head to face him. “Wow, I didn’t expect you to turn into such a heartbreaker, Jaems.”

He clicked his tongue, face scrunched into a bitter look of disapproval as reached out to mess up your hair. “Stop thinking weird thoughts,” he scolded. “Instead, why don’t I finally take you to the art building?”

Your eyes immediately lit up after the mention, and he stifled a laugh at your reaction, patting your head once more before sneaking off without the other three’s knowledge.

Jaemin’s tour of the whole campus actually deemed to be pretty useful because after three whole weeks of going to NCT U, you’d only gotten lost seven times— pretty remarkable if you do say so yourself. Within those three weeks, you had actually expected that your old childhood friend would leave you off on your own once you got used to everything, but no. He tried his best to meet you in between classes even though your buildings were nowhere near each other, and the times when he couldn’t, he’d never failed to call or text you. “I promised your parents!” he reasoned, but you weren’t sure if that promise included asking you if you’ve eaten breakfast every morning.

“Breakfast?”

You repeated into the phone as you and your recently made friend Soorim walked to your Visual Studies class. You’d met her during your first week and the both of you immediately hit off. It was nice to have someone else other than Jaemin and his friends, but of course you appreciated their company, too.

“I, uh, actually haven’t eaten— no wait! Before you nag me, I have a valid excuse, okay!” Soorim gave you a sidelong glance, curious and suspicious over your loud phone call so she tried to lean her ear closer to the device but you quickly evaded without even looking at her. “Listen, I was in a hurry to school! I actually planned on grabbing a bite on the way but I… forgot my wallet because again, I was in a hurry and— no, shut up, you don’t have the right to scold me for this, too! You literally left your report at home yesterday and I had to walk all the way back to save your butt so you’re no better, Mr. Na.”

Without even realizing, you were already in front of the doors to your classroom, and so you hurried a goodbye to Jaemin just before you and Soorim took your seats at the near back.

“Alright, I’m in the classroom now. See you later. Yes, I’ll eat after, yes, I promise to double check my wallet from now on. Bye.”

The moment you settled on your seat, setting your phone and backpack aside, Soorim swiveled her chair to face you, legs crossed, hands resting with poise on her thigh, and she batted her eyelashes expectantly. You ignored her, twisting open your water bottle because it was the only thing you had that could somewhat silence your crying stomach.

“So,” she started anyway. The bottle opening was hovering over your lips. You narrowed your eyes at her. What the fuck was she doing. “When are you introducing me to your boyfriend?”

You choked while drinking.

“Boy— what,” with a grimace, you ripped away the bottle from your face, slamming it down on the table. You looked at your friend in disgust. “If I had one I wouldn’t be hanging out with you.”

Soorim rolled her eyes, sneering at you. She held up her hand to the side of her face, all fingers closed except for her pinky and her thumb, shaking it a little. You sighed.

“He’s a friend.”

“The same friend that kept on calling you during our night out because he was worried?”

“Yes, well,” your sweat dropped. “He’s just like that, you know?”

“Sure,” she scrunched her nose, haphazardly throwing her giant notebook on the table. There was a brief moment of quiet that overtook because Soorim decided to stop egging on you as you waited for your professor, but that quiet only lasted for a while. She nudged you, and you looked up from your desk. “Oh, look who's coming.”

Huang Renjun sauntered in with an expression not fitting for a “good morning” greeting, so you chose to remain silent and simply stare at him in judgment as he settled right before you and Soorim, plastic bag in hand and binder in the other. What shat in his coffee this early in the morning?

“This is all your fault,” with a grunt, he dropped the bag filled with all sorts of food and snacks right in front of you, immediately pulling out a chair and sitting his ass onto it after. “My plans of turning up late are ruined because of you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, picking out a small container of strawberry milk from the bunch. How was this your fault? Furthermore, what exactly was all of this?

“Ooh, you making moves on Y/N, Huang?” Soorim, on the other hand, was digging into the rest of the goods, stealing a bun filled with red bean paste with a happy smile.

“Ew, as if.”

Renjun fake gagged, earning a look of offense from you which he completely ignored and disregarded. He took a box of pepero from the pile, shooting you a smug look before adding.

“It’s from Nana.”

(“You’re at school already? It’s very early. You’ve eaten breakfast, right?”

At a convenience store nearby the school, Jaemin and Renjun decided to eat their first meal there. Though, it appeared that the latter was the only one doing all the eating because his friend seemed to be far too preoccupied with his conversation on the phone to even notice that he took some of his sushi right in front of his face. Renjun silently chewed as he watched the colors on his friend’s face change at each sentence.

“Aish, it’s the most important meal of the day for a reason. How many times do I have to tell you—”

Another piece of sushi stolen. He wondered how far he could get away with it.

“Y/N, I—”

Jaemin let out a long sigh, causing Renjun to drop the food back onto the plate, retracting his chopsticks back to his own food— a bowl of ramen noodles that he had still yet to finish. He discreetly slurped it down as if he hadn’t been stealing since earlier. He was sure that Jaemin noticed though, but knowing his friend, he probably just let him. Renjun noticed the small pout on Jaemin, eliciting his curiosity.

“Okay,” he’s whining, Renjun concluded. “See you later.”

The moment Jaemin shut off his phone, Renjun expected him to say something, to air out why the fuck he was being all that this early in the morning, maybe even tell him what the call was about like a friend would, but no. Instead, Jaemin promptly stood up from his seat, disappeared into the limited selection of isles in the store, basket in hand, and started throwing a mountain full of food with a scrunched out, concentrated expression. Renjun had his mouth hanging open, brows knitted together, and wondering what in the ever loving fuck was going on with his friend as he stared at him pay for everything at the counter.

He sat back, eyeing Jaemin as he returned in front of him, who placed the full bag on top of the table as he took a seat.

“The hell?” a particular carton caught Renjun’s eye, and he immediately fished for it in primal disbelief. “Strawberry milk? You literally hate strawberries and milk separately yet you’re buying them combined? Are you sick?”

Jaemin did not answer. In fact, he dismissed the question completely with a smile, deciding to ask one of his own.

“It’s almost time for your first class, right? Visual Studies?”

At that point it hit him— the call, the food, the stupid behavior of his friend. It was completely obvious.

“Oh,” Renjun dropped the drink back onto the table. “Oh my god, you’re so fucking whipped.”)

“Shut up.”

After hearing Renjun’s story, you couldn’t look at all the multicolored snacks laid in front of you without heating up a million degrees anymore. It was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

“You’re just messing with me, shut up.”

Renjun scoffed. “Why would I even make up something so stupid? C’mon, Y/N. You know I’m way better than that.”

You couldn’t argue that this wasn’t something Jaemin would do. No, because this was exactly something sickly sweet Jaemin would do and your sad attempt of denial was simply because your heart might actually run away if you admit it to yourself. And as if to give you more assurance or to fluster you even further, your phone vibrated, causing you to jump in your seat. Before either of the two’s nosiness could take a peek, you quickly snatched your phone, leaning your chair all the way back to read the message.

[<nana3: never skip breakfast okok?!? u don’t have your wallet right? wait for me in front of the bio building later. let’s eat lunch together 🥰💚]

Dear lord Jesus, have mercy on your soul. Renjun took your squeak as a sign of victory.

“Wait a minute,” Soorim looked at you wide in a sudden moment of epiphany. “Nana as in Na Jaemin? The fucking Na Jaemin? Is he the friend you’ve been mentioning? The guy you were calling and bought all this? Holy fuck, Y/N—!”

Your body moved before you could think and you thanked god that your professor wasn’t here yet because you would have caught the entire class’ attention when you leaped forward to slap your hands over Soorim’s mouth.

Renjun’s excessive giggling brought you back to reality, pulling your hands off of her with a gasp and an apology. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“What the fuck, why did you do that?”

“I don’t know, it felt like you were about to say something stupid!”

She gave a look, half done and half amazed at your willpower. You’d never been this fired up for anything. “Is it stupid to say that one of the hottest guys on campus is literally—”

“Stupid!” another slap on her mouth. Renjun was about to fall off his chair laughing. “You were going to say something stupid. Please don’t even think about finishing that.”

Lucky for you, your professor had finally come in. Unlucky for you, Soorim shot you the signature dirty stare which meant that you wouldn’t be let off that easily. How fun.

Class went on quiet and boring as usual— you’d never been one for technicalities, preferring heading straight into the creative process with nothing but inspiration coursing through your veins, so your professor’s voice was nothing but white noise running in the background as you busied yourself with your thoughts. Your eyes flickered to the floor, cheek resting on your palm, and you gazed down to the plastic back beside your backpack. Twirling your pencil between your fingers, you pulled out a scrap piece of paper, every move that you made triggered by nothing except the abstract flow of your mind.

There was only one person you were thinking of. The same person living inside your head the moment you stepped foot back into Korea, the same person that made you feel as if you were someone special out of all the eight billion people in the world, the same person that bought you three persons worth of food because he didn’t want you skipping breakfast, the same person that felt more like a dream than anything.

Mindlessly, you started sketching the face of your childhood friend, filling in all the details of his face that you could see whenever you closed your eyes, up until the bell rang that signalled the end of the class.

“Y/N! Your father and I are leaving, now!”

“There’s extra money on top of the fridge if you want to eat out.”

Saturday evening. Your parents decided to go out on a well-deserved date that night, leaving you alone inside your apartment. You saw them out the door, locking it up once they left, and as you pressed your back against the white washed wooden door, your eyes darted over to the clock hanging on your living room wall. Six-twenty-three. There were still a few hours until closing.

An art exhibition was to be held on the same evening, and this was the last day that the actual artist was going to be there. Free and you got to meet world renowned artist Ten Lee? You’d be insane not to go. Though, as you made your way into your room to change out of your raggedy old sweatpants and Jaemin’s (stolen) mint hoodie, you’d come to a realization that maybe the venue was too far for you to just walk. Your parents were using the car and it wasn’t like you could drive anyway. You could commute, but there was a better idea in your system.

Opening your phone, a smile involuntarily tugged at the corners of your mouth as you pressed the contact number that seemed to have never left your recents.

[you: nana! are you free rn? there’s an art exhibition out of town! i need a ride :p and you need some time off your studies too bcs i noticed youve been more tired than usual so good idea i think yes hehe]

As usual, he took no more than a minute to reply. But after lighting up when you saw his name flash on your screen, you bit down your bottom lip to prevent a frown from forming.

[<nana3: TT i’m attending a seminar for an org rn y/nie huhu i don’t know what time it’s ending so i’m not sure if i can make it 😫😭]

[you: it’s okay!! jhfdj sorry for disturbing u!! please listen well to the speaker hehe and tell me how it went]

[<nana3: i’m so sorry]

It was difficult to pinpoint how you exactly felt.

You chewed the inside of your mouth, staring at the phone screen. He shouldn’t be apologizing.

After shutting your closet door down to a close, you fell face down onto your bed, your phone thrown over to the side. Yes, you were disappointed, but it wasn’t what weighed you down; the actual reason feeling like a disgusting, throbbing feeling writhing underneath your skin after being suppressed for awhile now. It never left your system the moment you'd arrived, the moment he showed you what his life was like, making you realize the stark difference between you and him.

You couldn’t care less about the exhibition now. In fact, fuck that entire plan entirely. As you were loitering, fooling around, planning on going to pointless events that wouldn’t be of benefit to your future, Jaemin was there, making connections and decisions and taking a step further into life.

It made you wonder what exactly had you been doing these past seven years— what haven’t you been doing, what you should be doing. You were ashamed to admit it, but it plagued the back of your mind since you got here.

Jaemin was far too out of reach.

It made the wrench in your gut worse whenever he made an effort to not make you feel that way. He’d always include you whenever he’d be with his other friends, always made sure that you didn’t feel left out since you came here, whether it be by his little cute texts even though you were in the same room just to make you smile, or by giving you all of his attention despite the many people vying for his. God, you didn’t deserve him. You didn’t deserve to like him.

What did you deserve?

Just then, there was a knock on your front door, followed by a buzz from your phone.

[<nana3: open the door!]

And you did, scrambling out of your bed and nearly tripping over your feet as you ran just to swing it open. Jaemin stood before you with his hair tousled by the wind, a purple and orange varsity jacket covering his frame. He greeted you with brightened eyes.

“I thought you had—”

“I left early,” he smiled at you, walking inside. “Why aren’t you dressed yet? Hurry, I’ll wait here.”

You blinked at him as he passed you by to sit on your couch, unable to understand what led him to such a decision, staring as he stretched his arms over his head with a yaw. He shouldn’t have come here. “Jaemin, it’s just an exhibition, it’s not as important as your seminar.”

He raised a brow at you, stealing a pillow into his lap. “But you want to go, right?”

“Well…” you did want to go, even after your small episode earlier. “Yeah, but—”

“Then it’s more important.”

He smiled at you. You cursed at yourself for letting your heart dither.

“Besides, you actually think I’d let you go out alone this late at night?” Jaemin stood up from the sofa, resting his hand on top of your head with an affectionate gaze. “You should go change. Or maybe not. You look good in my clothes, anyway.”

It was cold outside, so Jaemin made sure that you were wearing enough layers so that you won’t get sick, forcing you back inside when he deemed that you weren’t covered enough.

“Jaem, I’m fucking sweating.”

You huffed as you lugged yourself to the front seat, but your padded winter coat was preventing you from making a smooth landing inside.

“Sweating is a good sign! That means you’re healthy,” noticing your struggle, Jaemin relented to leaving the coat at the back of the car, but keeping it there just in case. He got in after you, starting the car and turning on the radio for some background noise. “Reconnaissance Gallery Right? What’s the name of the show?”

“Mono,” you replied. “It’s by Ten Lee.”

“Oh! I remember you talking about him once,” he exclaimed. “We should hurry then.”

It was a generally quiet car ride, but the silence was welcomed. After asking where you wanted to eat dinner once you were done with the exhibit, Jaemin didn’t talk anymore. Your eyes followed the moving lights that were lit up all around the night scene, and from time to time they flickered over to admire the boy beside you who seemed to be far too engrossed with his driving. An unconscious smile grew, warmth fluttering inside. You were lucky enough to meet him again in this lifetime, even after being set apart for so long.

“Something wrong?”

He asked without looking. He must have noticed you staring.

“No,” you replied with a soft voice. “Just remembered how baby-faced you were back then.”

With a laugh, he shook his head, one hand stretched out to the steering wheel. “You’re one to talk. Alright, I think we’re here.”

You felt a rush the moment you went past the glass doors, met by a relatively large interior with walls painted either black or white and lined with numerous paintings that contrasted the wall they were hung on. With a large grin, you quickly tugged Jaemin’s arm deeper into the venue, your footsteps making hollow echoes inside the place. He was taken aback by your sudden action, heart racing when he felt your grip on him, never slowing down even when you stopped in front of one of the larger works in the exhibit. “Oh my gosh, I love this painting— wait let me take a picture.”

As you fumbled with your phone, Jaemin couldn’t help but stare at you as if you were a part of the exhibit itself. There were more people inside, yet he didn’t even notice them; paintings as pretty as the night sky, yet it was you that he couldn’t take his eyes off of. Your phone camera captured it with an audible click, and he took it as a signal to scramble and take his out too.

Click!

“The painting’s really pretty, right?”

He nodded at you. “Yeah,” it wasn’t the painting that he wanted to capture. He dug his phone back into his pocket after sneaking a brief glance at your excited grin behind the screen. It wasn’t every day that you smiled like this since you were usually reserved. He didn’t want to miss saving a memory. “You wanna walk around more?”

At his suggestion, you and Jaemin decided to move deeper into the exhibit. You knew he wasn’t that knowledgeable about art, but he still listened intently whenever you told him something about the strokes and composition of some of the works displayed. You hadn’t run into Ten Lee yet even after an hour of walking around and taking pictures, but you didn’t mind at all. Jaemin froze in front of a certain painting— the visage of what seemed to be a face formed together by different objects, drawn in a style similar to the rest with the black and white motif, graffiti-esque structure, and the overall whimsical and abstract feel to it. There was a smile on his face, you wondered what he was thinking about.

“One day, it’s gonna be your paintings that will be displayed here. You promise you won’t forget about me when that happens, okay?" he started, turning his attention to you. “You should also paint a portrait dedicated to me," he joked, nudging you a little.

You smiled at him. Jaemin noticed that this wasn’t your usual smile, but he chose to not say anything. “Okay,” you breathed out before looking down seconds before he could see your expression melt away. How was he thinking so highly of you when it was him who was too far to reach?

He was about to ask— he didn’t know what to ask— but he would say whatever just to erase whatever was bothering your peace of mind. But he wasn’t able to. In fact, just as he lifted a hand to rest over your shoulder as an act of comfort, your head shot up, turning to face the sudden eruption of a commotion that Jaemin had failed to notice in his worry for you.

“Holy crap,” you gasped. “Is that—”

Ten Lee, just a few feet away from you with cameras and crowd surrounding him. You wasted no time to run to him, grabbing Jaemin’s hand in a flash to drag him behind. His eyes softened upon seeing the excited bounce of your hair as you ran. At least your spirits were brought back up again.

Jaemin watched as you nervously fiddled with the hem of your jacket as you waited for an opening to talk to the famous artist, how you would stand on your toes to peek above the small crowd and stand back down again after feeling too shy. Eventually the crowd dissipated to only around four or five people. This was your chance. You looked at him Jaemin. He nudged you with his shoulder. ‘Go,’ he mouthed. You pressed your lips together before finally deciding to march up to the artist. He didn’t realize you have been holding his hands until you let go.

“A-ah, hi!”

He followed after you in case you were feeling too nervous, but he was relieved to see that Ten Lee was pretty down to earth and easy going for someone famous. He stayed a few steps behind you as he listened to the ongoing conversation.

“I can’t tell you enough how much I adore your works. Especially, Monarch! I took a picture of it earlier and it’s so much more captivating in person,” you said, watching as Ten signed your phone case. “Actually, I—I look up to you a lot as an artist. A few of my paintings were actually inspired by your style, but of course it— it would be an insult to compare.”

“You shouldn’t compare,” he scolded, adding in a little sermon about your art is yours and that it should stand alone as your own. He handed your phone back, a smile on his face. “Can I see?”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. In a flustered rush, you quickly scrolled through your gallery folders to find the specific paintings you were referring to, and Jaemin, out of curiosity, hovered over your shoulders to see as well. As you passed through your works with your friend’s mouth hanging open in awe (he wanted to gush about them, but figured this wasn’t formally appropriate), his eyes caught a glimpse of an image that you quickly swiped past— far too glaring too miss because he was sure that it looked something like his face. It was a different kind of pride that he felt when he saw that.

Ten’s eyes flickered as he saw through your paintings, something formulating within even after you hid your phone. He looked at you, grabbing your hands without any warning which caused you to squeak. “Y/N, right?” you nodded, wide eyed. “You know, I’m hosting an online gallery within the upcoming weeks. It’s for young, aspiring artists like you to be recognized at a larger scale.”

Hold on, you tried to catch on to what he was saying. Was he—

“Are you interested?”

—serious? Was he actually serious? It looked like he was because when he let go of you, a business card suddenly materialized in your hands. Holy shit.

“Think about it, okay? Just email me your portfolio and everything. Who knows, what if you get recognized and scouted after this?”

He winked at you, shooting you a thumbs up. This had to be a dream. You were still trying to process the piece of fucking paper that you were holding and now all of a sudden Ten came in between you and Jaemin, swinging his arms around your neck and giving you a pat on the back

“Anyhow, thanks to the both of you for coming to my show. And Y/N—” he looked at you with a grin. “Looking forward to your more of your works.”

Ten disappeared off with two other people, their footsteps clacking against the cold, tiled floor. You stared at the card in your hands for a few moments— Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, it wrote— before snapping your eyes back to Jaemin who was wearing a far too large smile. “Oh my god.”

Jaemin wasted no time in drowning you into a hug, knocking the air out of your lungs when he nearly toppled you onto the ground.

“Y/N,” his voice was soft in comparison to the roughness of his actions, sweetly fluttering into your ears as he rocked you left and right with his squeezing embrace. “I’m so proud of you.”

His words nearly broke you down to tears.

“This calls for a celebration, right?” he pulled away, hand automatically falling to hold onto yours as he led you to the gallery’s exit. “My treat! I know a place nearby, we should eat an entire feast!”

“Nana, you already treated me to lunch last time, I can’t just—”

“No, no no! I’m treating you, okay? This is your achievement so I should congratulate properly.”

There was no point arguing with him when he already had his mind set, but even during your drive to a nearby barbecue place, even when you were already halfway with the meal, you kept on insisting that you’d pay him back for all of this someday. He’d only laugh it off, telling you that he doesn’t mind as long as you’re enjoying yourself. You downed a shot of soju after hearing that, hoping that it would make you forget momentarily about how fast your heart was beating.

Somehow the clock eventually struck nine, and rather than going home, the both of you took an impulsive detour to a nearby public beach. The sounds of waves crashing against the solemn quiet of the night was heard as you neared the area, bringing you to a moment of peace.

Instead of going to the sandy shore, you two decided to take a spot on the beach cliff right above the rolling water. “Be careful,” Jaemin whispered from behind as he guided you along the rocky surface, heating up from the way he was so, so close with his hands steady on your back. You two sat side by side on the cliff, underneath the veil of stars, with the ocean right in front of you.

“Are your parents okay with you staying out this late?” he cocked his head to face you in a manner that was far too cute for you to suppress a giggle.

“Jaems, they’d probably allow me to disappear off to Italy as long as you’re with me.”

The both of you broke into laughter, but it was eventually replaced by the noises of the ocean. You breathed in the salty scent of the sea, folding your knees to your chest with your arms hugging them together. For a moment your eyes flickered over to Jaemin, and a chord was strung, tugging your heart towards him, but it was impossible for it to leap out of your chest so it only rattled against your ribcage desperately just like the waves. You stared at the way his dark hair melted into the night sky, the wind brushing it away, the way he had his legs stretched out freely over the rocks while you squeezed yourself as small as you could get, and lastly, the way he flashed over to look at the exact moment that you wanted him to.

If there was such a thing as a perfect instance where the stars of the night sky aligned, it would be this.

“You know,” you started, letting your arms fall to your sides as you looked over to the distance. “I envy you sometimes.”

Jaemin was taken aback by your confession.

“I also admire you,” you pressed your lips together tightly, forming it into a smile. “A lot. I admire you a lot. To the point that it made me feel like you’re living in a completely different world from me and that I wasn’t deserving of you.”

You’d finally mustered up the courage to tell him everything you’d pent up during your first month back here— it was better than just letting it fester into something worse, even if there was a risk of completely ruining your friendship. It was better than playing pretend.

“We’re both only a year apart but it seems like you have your life all tied together while I’m still barely able to walk on my own two feet. I wouldn’t even have been able to go to the exhibit if it weren’t for you,” you crossed your legs, a mirthless laugh slipping past your lips as the wind brushed against your cheeks .“I don’t… want to seem ungrateful for everything you’ve done or make you feel bad or anything, because Jaemin—”

You turned around, looking at him.

“If I had the choice to stay back then, I would have gladly chosen to spend those seven years together with you.”

Jaemin stared at you, speechless, unblinking. He had a gut feeling that there was something bothering you all this time, but he never had thought that it would be this.

“But the feeling of seeing you again after all this time is a feeling that I wouldn’t trade for the world either,” you hummed, looking down as you traced the creases of the rocky ground with your fingers, a shaky breath slipping past you. “If only… I wasn’t just so insecure then maybe everything would be perfect.”

For a moment there was nothing— only the lulling sounds of the sea that became quieter after you laid your heart out to the ground. The next moment, Jaemin spoke up.

“I got into an accident four years ago.”

You shot up in a single instant.

Jaemin laughed a little, bringing his hand to the crown of your head in assurance. “I had a herniated disc which got worse during a dance camp. It was definitely scary, how it seemed like I was in a standstill for two years while everyone else carried on with their lives,” he continued, letting his hand drop once more right beside yours. “It’s hard to get out of that hopeless mentality. It takes small steps, but once you do, things will eventually start looking up.”

He shot you a smile, eyes twinkling under the light of the moon. You couldn’t help but put your head down after hearing everything.

“I understand how and why you’re feeling that way, don’t worry I’m not upset. You don’t think I am, right?” he caught you sniffling, leaning forward to take a look at your face but you kept on turning away. “Y/N— Y/N, look at me, okay? I’ll be your personal cheerleader from now on, yeah? Up until you realize that you’re actually greater than you think you are.”

He was too good to you.

“I’m— I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when you were having a tough time.”

You silently muttered, meekly sneaking a glance at him to see that he was actually smiling at you this entire time. He’d always been like this.

“It’s alright, you didn’t have a choice, right?” he assured. “And I’m all better now, as you can see. I can even jump off the cliff into the ocean without having a single scratch!”

Right, you managed a laugh from his silly proclamation. He lit up upon hearing you. Maybe you can try to be like that too.

“What’s important is that from now on.”

There had been a gap between the two of you that entire time, but Jaemin bridged it the moment his hand brushed against your skin, his pinky interlocking with yours against the coarse ground. You met his eyes. He shot you a smile. That same smile that you could never get enough of.

“You’ll be with me.”

“Jaemin, please put your shirt back on.”

When you walked back into the living room, easel and canvas in your arms, you did not expect to be met with your childhood friend-slash-boyfriend mid-strip. In fact you were far too in shock that you dropped everything to the floor at that exact moment, only managing to utter those previous words once you were busy picking them all back up and not looking at him. He quickly ran to help you.

“Oh, I thought this was—” he passed you a paintbrush, helping you stand back up once you’ve gotten everything. “Aren’t the models for your classes usually, like, naked?”

“You think I was gonna paint you nude?!”

“Well,” he mused, holding his shirt to his bare chest. “If you want— okay, sorry! Shirt on! Shirt on!”

You settled down the easel that you just threatened to launch at him near the window where the afternoon sunlight was leaking through. A few days prior, you had contacted Ten Lee regarding the online exhibit, asking when the deadline was because you wanted to include one more piece in your portfolio.

“Nana, can you sit over here?”

There was a stool situated a few feet in front of the easel and right beside the window. He did as you said, now fully dressed and sitting properly and well behaved. You marched up to him, moving around his limbs into a specific pose. Jaemin wore a subtle smile as you grabbed his arms to a certain position, his shoulders into a certain angle, and when your fingers landed on his jaw to adjust his head, he just couldn’t help but throw all your work out the window by pulling you towards him by the waist.

“What are you—” a kiss fell on your nose. Jaemin shot you a cheeky smile.

“Sorry,” he said. “I couldn’t help it.”

You weren’t inclined to do anything else but forgive him, even if it meant refixing him into position, but somehow you managed. Running back behind the easel, you wore a satisfied smile upon seeing the composition, flicking your wrist to start the initial sketch. There was music running in the background. Jaemin sat still for thirty whole minutes.

“Can I move for a sec?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you answered. “I got the basic shapes down anyway.”

He let out an amazed gasp, lips forming into an ‘o’ shape. “So cool,” he said, and you let out a little laugh.

You were trying to focus, but in between a few strokes of your pencil, he wiggled his eyebrows when you looked at him again. You threw your head down to suppress a barrage of giggles. “Okay, this is— this is going nowhere. Can I just take a picture of you?”

Even taking a shot of him was difficult because he just wouldn’t sit still. He’d always do something to make you laugh or smile just when you were about to take a picture. You scolded him, telling him that all you needed was a few takes then the both of you can make a run for some popsicles at the nearby store. He straightened upon hearing, and you finally got to do the job.

“Do you have a title in mind for the piece?” he asked, just as you finished taking the last photo of his face up close.

You did have one. In fact, you’ve had it in mind for a while now.

“Yeah,” you answered, smiling. “Mahiwaga.”

Haechan, for whatever suspicious reason, volunteered to treat you out to lunch today at a family restaurant near the uni. You did not know why, and he would not tell you why, but you could not pass up free food. You texted Soorim to follow just in case you needed mental support because as you sat across him, looking up from your phone while munching your fries to catch the terrifying stare he was giving you, you could tell that you needed at least one other person around.

[you: dude, i think hes actually planning on killing me please hurry up]

[soorim: omw babe]

[soorim: but ur paying for me right]

You sighed, telling her yes you already ordered her food, and she replied with an annoying heart that you refused to mark read. Just as you were about to shut off your phone, ready to hear whatever Haechan was brewing, another message was sent your way.

[<nana3: baby, i saw the exhibition!! 🤩 you know, you’re so amazing, you know?!?! nana is super super proud of you 🥺💚 and i’m sure your parents are, too!! i sent the link to all of my friends yesterday hehe. also i’ll call you immediately after my class, ok?? don’t forget to drink lots of water today 😚 byebye! 💚]

“Are you two fucking yet?”

Haechan’s question caused you to choke on your fries, dropping your phone to the table so you can reach for the glass of Sprite. You looked at him, appalled. “I’m sorry?”

“What are we talking about?”

Soorim had belatedly joined in the party, pushing you farther into the seat to make room for herself. Her eyes zeroed in on the table, choosing the giant burger to attack first. You scrunched your nose as you looked at her.

“We—”

“Whether Y/N and Jaemin have done the dirty yet,” Haechan interrupted. You looked at him in offense and horror. He reciprocated with a deadpan stare. “You have, haven’t you? I went to Jaemin’s house at four in the morning yesterday and—”

“Why were you at his house at four?!”

“Doesn’t matter.”

You looked at him in disbelief, scoffing, and you looked over to Soorim with the words ‘can you believe this guy?’ ready to fire from your tongue. You could not say it. Not when Soorim looked absolutely compelled by Haechan’s bullshit allegations. She even stopped scarfing down her food. You made a mistake in calling her up here.

“What matters is that he looked absolutely fucked out absolutely naked, but not only that!” a scrunchie. He pulled out a scrunchie from his backpack. That was yours. Even had your hair on it. “This is yours isn’t it? I’ve caught you red handed, Y/N, now answer me—”

Haechan’s eyes were out to kill.

“You wrapped it, right? I’m too young to be called Uncle Hyuck so please tell me you did.”

“We are not—”

“That explains why you were walking all weird yesterday!” Soorim exclaimed. “Y/N, you know you could tell me these things, right? There is no—”

“We are not fucking!”

This wasn’t the best conversation to have at a family restaurant.

A waiter stopped serving the table next to you, it’s occupants (that included three kids and their parents) froze and looked at you in horror. An innocent passerby spilled his drink on his tray. You sharply inhaled, bowing your head apologetically. Thank god there weren’t any managers here— the three of you might have actually gotten kicked out.

With a cough, you collected yourself, giving both of your companions the stink eye for putting you in such a compromising position. “Can I not sleep at my boyfriend’s place without— without doing anything of that sort?” you huffed, ignoring the red hot heat creeping up your neck. “And as a matter of fact, I was walking weird because I fell down the while lugging plywood up the stairs, so shut the fuck up.”

The two of them let out a shriek at the same time.

“Boyfriend?! And what— you fell off the fucking stairs?!”

“Did you do as I told you?! Did you follow Hyuck’s five step guide on How To Trap Your—”

“Quiet!”

You shushed the both of them before the three of you actually got kicked out.

“Yes, boyfriend. Yes, I fell off the stairs. No, I did not follow Hyuck’s guide to whatever,” you spitefully took a sip from your drink. “You never even told me what the hell that was.”

As Haechan started to further explain his guide with Soorim enthusiastically taking everything in, you were caught by the buzzing of your phone. The screen lit up. Someone sent you an e-mail— the sender you did not recognize at all. You wiped your fingers with some tissues on the table before taking the device, clicking on the notification immediately after.

“Right. After you tell him that you’re— hey! Y/N, are you even listening?”

You shot up. Haechan noticed the distraught look in your eyes. His brows furrowed together.

“What’s wrong?”

The following weekend, you went out and treated Jaemin to dinner at a fancy Chinese restaurant despite his many complaints. He was about to pay for everything again, but this time you were faster in stealing the check. Afterward, you stopped by a nearby hardware store to buy another two pieces of plywood. You’ve been painting a lot more frequently lately, and you’ve been experimenting more on larger scale works. It was fortunate that Jaemin was there to help you bring the large sheets of wood this time.

“There we go.”

Jaemin settled the wood resting upright against your living room wall, right beside a few stained cans of paint underneath layers of newspaper. You thanked him, smiling, and he ruffled the hair on your head.

“You should ask me whenever you need to do some heavy work alright? We don’t want a rerun of last time,” you cringed upon recalling. That wasn’t a pretty fall. “How are your legs? Have the bruises healed?”

“Almost. You don’t have to worry,” you assured him. He sighed in relief.

Dinner and a shopping trip weren’t the only reasons you called him out tonight. You had actually been meaning to tell him something within the past three days. Your parents knew, Haechan and Soorim found out during lunch last time, Renjun and Jeno might have already found out thanks to their loudmouthed friend. All that’s left was Jaemin. It was his reaction that would help you make the decision.

But why was it so difficult to start talking?

“I’m gonna head out now,” he hummed, pulling you into his chest. You bit down your lip, contemplating, and maybe he noticed your unease and hesitation, as if he could hear your unsaid thoughts, because he lightly pulled away to look at your face and spoke. “What is it? Do you wanna tell me something?”

Of course, you thought to yourself. He’d probably know you’re hungry before your stomach could even rumble.

You gently pried away his hands from your arms, a hollow smile directed to him. Concern flashed through his eyes, but he held back his tongue, waiting for you to say your mind instead.

“Yeah…” you started. “I— I do have something to tell you.”

That was what you said, but as the clock ticked a couple dozen times in the background, you still had yet to tell him. It wasn’t easy to tell him. Because you were afraid that the moment you opened your mouth to squeeze out a single word, you might not make it to finish the entire sentence. If it were him, this might have been easy. But you were not, so it took a little more effort on your part to let the words go.

Maybe you shouldn’t have looked him in the eye, because the moment you did, your eyes stung from the threat of tears and so you jerked your head to the side.

But you weren’t able to evade, because Jaemin decided to follow you. You turned away again, looking towards the unplugged television, but it was once again replaced by Jaemin’s dark brown eyes. Your eyes stung, your lips pressed together, and at that moment you couldn’t help but laugh at his ridiculous actions throwing your head down in the midst of it, but your laughter got choked up by the sudden streaming of tears that you had come unprompted.

Jaemin panicked.

“Hey, hey, baby, what’s wrong? What is it?” he ducked down to reach your face, cupping your cheeks with his large hands as you wiped away your tears. “It’s okay, you can tell me, baby. I’ll listen to everything, okay?”

It took you a while to regain your voice, but Jaemin patiently waited with words of consolation. You couldn’t understand how one person could have this much goodwill and kindness in them.

Eventually your sniffling died down, and so you finally willed yourself to speak. “I— I joined Ten’s exhibition, right? And— and there was a possibility that other artists or institutions might be interested in the participants, right?”

“Mhm,” he replied, stroking the back of your head as you tightly gripped the front of his shirt. “Go on.”

“I— I got scouted? You know PIOA? In Paris? They— they offered me a full scholarship if I…” you paused for a moment, biting the inside of your mouth. “If I transfer there for the remaining months until my last year.”

Jaemin took a while to absorb it, silence flooding along with your occasional sniffles.

“Isn’t that a good thing? Ah, ah, baby look at me, look at me,” he grabbed your shoulders, frowning when he made contact with your red stained eyes. He brushed your cheek with his thumb, heart heavy from seeing you like this. It pained him to see you this way. “Why are you crying? Don’t you want to go?”

A beat of silence. You swallowed, speaking in a small, shaky voice.

“Do you want me to go?”

Another beat of silence.

“Of course! Can you imagine that out of all the people that joined that exhibit, they chose you! Your talent and hard work shouldn’t go to waste,” Jaemin inhaled sharply in between his speech, managing a smile for you to see. “I’m really proud of you, Y/N. An opportunity like this doesn’t come that easily.”

“Jaemin.”

You softly sounded, letting your head fall into his chest. He held you close, as if you were leaving at that instant.

“You know I was so happy when we got in touch again, when I came back to Korea. I know I don’t have a lot going on for me, but I could easily forget all of that because I’m with you,” once more, you felt the tears start to rise up again, but you tried your hardest to swallow them down. “It hasn’t even been that long since we got reunited and now you’re… you’re just telling me to leave you again miles, miles away as if it’s nothing.”

“It’s not like that, Y/N. It’s hard for me too, you know,” he muttered into your hair with a slight whine, his chin resting over your head. “But it’s not like we’re never going to see each other again, right? We managed for seven years, what’s two or three more?”

When he heard you stifle a laugh, laughing despite your sniveling, he couldn’t help but laugh along too. Once more and perhaps the last that night, he pulled away so he could look at the smile on your face, eyes still red and watery, and he pressed a warm kiss on your forehead.

“You have nothing to worry about, baby. We can visit each other during breaks and—” he breathed out, lips curling into a smile. “I’ll call you every day.”

Right, you wiped away your remaining tears, huffing out a brief, airy chuckle.

You looked at him, hopeful, earnest.

“Every day?”

You asked.

“Every day.”

He answered.

You were never going to get used to airports. They always carried a bitter, cold air that signified a goodbye that you were far too familiar with. Today was no different.

“Don’t forget to drink your vitamins alright? It’s a new environment so you might need some time to get used to it. Oh! And—”

“Dude, you’re worse than her actual mom.”

Jaemin shot a smile to your mother at the mention, who was waiting for your group to finish from a distance with your father. Your mother was to stay with you in Paris for a week until you got everything settled down while the four boys, Soorim, and your father decided to send you off today. Though, unlike your usual experiences with leaving and returning, today was much louder, more rowdy. It was a nice change— you only wished that it would last longer.

“It’s okay, I appreciate the concern,” you laughed. “Do I have to report back to you everything before I go to bed?”

“Well, if you can,” Jaemin mused, locking his pinky finger with yours and swinging your hand into the air from side to side. “Kidding, kidding. I trust you’ll take care of yourself there.”

A chorus of gagging noises broke out when you pulled his shirt, burying your face into his chest, prompting him to smile and wrap his arms around you. You drowned them out, though, only focusing on how warm he was despite the cold brushing of the wind, how he held you with so much gentleness that one would think he was afraid that he might break you.

It was funny how free you felt when you were trapped inside his embrace.

“How many times do I have to say goodbye to you at the fucking airport?” you grumbled, tears welling up again and so you wiped them away with your sweater sleeve. “Wait, why aren’t you crying. Aren’t you even at the very least sad that I’m gonna leave?”

Jaemin chuckled, replacing your hand with his to brush away the stray tears.

“If I cry in front of you then you probably won’t even board the plane.”

You hated that he was right.

“I’ll do it after you leave,” he let out a laugh, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. At that moment, the pre-boarding announcement rang throughout the area's speakers, signalling that it was time for you and your mother to go. Grabbing your suitcase, you sent a grateful look to each one of them— your father, Jeno, Renjun, Donghyuck, Soorim, and—

Jaemin suddenly grabbed your suitcase handle before you could go, his hand right beside yours. You locked eyes with him, wide and surprised.

He landed a kiss right on your lips.

“Call me when you arrive, okay?”

You mindlessly nodded, still in the midst of recovering from shock. Your mother called out to you to start moving.

As you walked away, head still locked behind, you watched as the four screamed, cheered, and teased your boyfriend as they shook and pushed him around like a ragdoll, while he just kept on looking at you with a smile.

“Don’t worry, Y/N! I’ll record his crying face!”

Haechan screamed despite being several feet away already, and you stifled out a laugh.

You might have to say goodbye today, but time will come when you would meet again.

Across the cobblestone tiled sidewalk, people were walking about, the streets were filled with tourists and natives, the mid noon sun was just in reach. Summers had always been crowded in the city, and you were swimming in the middle of the crowd in a far too inappropriate attire, sweating as you spoke into the phone.

“Oh, yeah. I’m on my way to the gallery now— I had to stop by at a cafe first, though.”

“You seem busy.”

Jaemin’s voice echoed from your phone’s speakers. The streetlight turned red. You followed the crowd as you crossed the street.

“Yeah… It’s a lot of back and forth work, even on the last day of the show, but it’s all worth it,”you replied. “Did you know that people kept on asking me who my muse was for Mahiwaga? Ever the popular boy, even when you’re not here.”

It has been a year and a half since you first got to France. Things have been going well on your part with your budding art career— and so far you’ve guested in three exhibitions, but you have yet to have one solo. Even though you and Jaemin promised to see each other during breaks, it was practically impossible to align your time. He was busy with internships and his organizations this year and so were you. But one thing the both of you have faithfully maintained throughout the course of your time away was calling each other every day, even if it was just for a few minutes.

A cyclist sped past you. Jaemin’s voice was heard again. He laughed at your last remark, saying that he wasn’t that popular, but all of a sudden his voice turned into a more serious tone.

“Since you have a lot of work these days…”

Your brows furrowed, squinting as the light shone into your eyes. You clutched your sling bag, heels clattering as you passed by the cream, brown, and grey buildings.

“Should we call less often?”

You stopped in your tracks.

What?

“No— no, Jaems, what are you saying? Are you sick? Are you not feeling well?” you were almost late for the opening, but you couldn’t care less at the moment. What was he on about? Call less? Never had that crossed your mind even once. “I don’t even get to see you anymore, so if anything… we should call as often as we can.”

A few people passed from behind. His end of the line was silent. Your lips scrunched into a frown, confused.

“Jaemin?”

“That’s a relief.”

Before you could even ask him anything, the call ended.

“What the hell?” you huffed, staring at your phone screen in perplexity before you returned it to your pocket. Maybe he was feeling a lot more lonely than usual— that was unavoidable, but the both of you made it work. You should ask him what that was all about later. Now, you really needed to head to the gallery. With a sigh, you marched forward, stopping at an intersection where the large, eggshell white walls of the gallery stood across.

You stopped before the crosswalk, the lights green, and a few vehicles passed by, and your thoughts were once again clouded by Na Jaemin and why did he suddenly propose that. Was he getting sick of you? Was this his way of hinting a breakup? Your face contorted into a look of horror. No, you shook your head at the notion. He literally sent you a picture of a weird keychain last night  saying it reminded him of you. Another sigh. The light went red. You crossed the street.

Maybe it was because you were thinking too much of him, maybe you were missing him too much, but the moment you reached the middle of the crosswalk, your heart suddenly stopped, legs froze, eyes stuck to the sight right in front of you.

There he stood, right before the front stairs of the gallery with dozens of people disappearing and passing by. He spotted you, eyes lighting up, the corners of lips automatically quirking upwards. He sent you a small wave.

You ran.

“Hi— woah!”

Maybe you were causing a scene, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t find it in you to care when Na Jaemin was right fucking here. He chuckled when you suddenly ran into him, wrapping you in a tight hug that matched your own. “You know, I was afraid that you’d actually agree to limiting our calls,” he started, and you looked up, the light shining into your eyes. Jaemin’s smile was as bright as the sun. “I thought I would have to deport myself back to Korea.”

Your lips quivered, unable to hold it back. Yeah, you shook your head, a shaky laugh leaving your lips. It’s always been like this.

“Is this where you’re holding the exhibit? Wow, it’s a lot bigger than in pictures.”

There are points in your life where you’re met with a choice— to stay or leave, to smile or cry. Always him between something else. Twice. You’ve said goodbye to him twice choosing to leave. For a moment, it might seem that you’ve chosen the other. But that was never the case, because at the end of each day it was him you were thinking of, it was him that your lines end, it would always be—

“Y/N? Y/N? Are you crying?” he exclaimed, frowning as he wiped away your tears. “Ah, it’s such a happy day today, you shouldn’t be crying.”

“I missed you, you dummy.”

—Him. You’d always choose him. Na Jaemin. Jaems. Nana. Your childhood best friend. Your boyfriend—

He smiled at you, eyes shining, pressing a kiss on your forehead before taking you into his arms once more with a shaky breath. “I missed you too.”

—Your mahiwaga.

hannie-dul-set, 2020.

[queerchoicesblog]

New Beginnings

Folks, here’s a new update of the wlw story set in the Sixties, my third  miniseries of the wlw writing project. New beginnings have quite a lot in store for our stewardess MC!

The final Sixties miniseries update will be out either later this week or next week.

Hope you enjoy it: if you do, please consider spreading the word!

Previous Chapters: Living The Dream, The Girl Next Door

_____________________________

The following day I got my long awaited promotion: a generous rise and from now on only international routes for me. I made it to the big league. My world was crumbling underneath my feet but I made it. I received the news as a blessing. I followed the advice Nancy gave me when she called back to check in on me. A few days later I packed my stuff and crashed at a colleague's place: thank God, I made good friends among my former crew members and Joanna kindly agreed to host me while I looked for a new place to stay. Neither Nancy nor Jo know the full truth about the photographer who broke my heart, her sex: ironically, 'bastard' and other epithets are wonderfully neutral. Their sympathy and support helped me healing a little. It took time but, as Mom said when I accidentally let it slip during a call, I had my new beginning to focus on. I was the Pan Am stewardess every girl dreams to be one day.

I still remember the thrill that coursed through my veins as I boarded my first gigantic Boeing 712, destination Tahiti. I don't know how my voice kept appealing and steady as I explained the route and thanked the passengers for choosing Pan American Airways. I had to squeeze my colleague's hand when we took off as my heart was hammering out of the purest joy. Well, that's my life now. My parents and Nancy must have a collection of the postcards I send them from Rio, Honolulu, London, Rome, Berlin, Tokyo...you name a place on the map, I've probably been there at least once. I always send one to the address Noah gave us: I hope he receives them even if his letter are rare these days. I also sent him an autograph by Sandra Dee: last time I checked he had a big crush on her so I couldn't refrain myself when I bumped into her at a celebrity party our crew was invited to. She even pressed a lipstick kiss on the napkin when I told her my brother was a marine serving in Vietnam. I hope the war ends soon: despite what censorship cuts off from his letters, I know him and I know he's not happy there. I want my Noah back, his silly jokes and Rock Hudson look. I wish I would have spotted him waiting in line to check in for a flight to sunny Los Angeles instead of that photographer who "cared for me". I would have run at him full speed and he, turning at the right moment just like in the movies, would have waved at me and pulled me in a long swaying hug. "Long time no see, sister!" he would have laughed and we would have cried tears of joy uncaring of the people watching us. Then I would have ruffled his hair - how he hated that! - and guided him home, where he belonged, not sunny California nor Vietnam. I wasn't so lucky, I got the photographer instead. Despite a couple of years has now passed since that morning I walked out of her messy flat, she looks the same. For a moment I wondered if she'd succeeded in winning that girl's heart back. She's travelling solo as far as I can tell: either she's embarking on a new adventure or running towards someone she loves...or so she thinks. I find hard to believe she knows the difference. I kept walking towards my destination. I'm grateful she didn't see me: we don't have anything else to say to each other. We're strangers now. "Excuse me, ma'am, do you have a lighter?" My train of thoughts derails with the voice of another stranger. I turn my head to find a waitress leaning down on me with a cigarette in her hand. "Oh yes, sure" I pick up my lighter and light her cigarette. She takes a blow and exhales, thanking me. But to my surprise she doesn't walk away. After a moment, during which she probably debated whether to go for it or not, she speaks again. "Actually...do you mind if I join you...?" Her question lingers until I realize she's waiting for me to say my name. "Sadie" I say. "And please, suit yourself" As she takes a seat, I shake my head. "Forgive me, it's been a long day and usually people just read my name on the tag" "Well, Mom taught me not to stare at women's breasts because it's rude: 'look right in the eye and ask, my dear girl, right in the eye', she says" she jokes, shrugging. "How thoughtful!" I laugh and I don't do that just out of curtesy: she's genuinely funny. I take a look at her, I haven't noticed her before: how long she's been working here? To be honest, I hardly pay attention to airport clerks and waiters, I'm always on the go. "So, on a break....?" I add, letting my question lingers just as she did. "Oh yes, my shift started an hour ago but since there's no one here the boss gave us a little extra break-" "Nice but I was hoping to get your name too without looking disrespectfully at your breast, mademoiselle" We look at each other for a while then she burst into laughter and I follow. "Learning from the best, I see" she comments jokingly, catching her breath. "It's Kelsey" I bow my head lightly and we exchange a quick smile. "Pan Am, huh?" she nudges at my uniform as she inhales the smoke. "It shows?" I smile, striking a magazine cover pose that makes her laugh again. "Where did you fly to today? Or yesterday, I should probably say" "Paris" I say, in my best French accent. By the look of wonder that crosses her eyes I can tell she's never been there. Only heard of it. "Wow, romantic" she notes. I chuckle, finishing off my cigarette. "Paris is romantic only if you have a lover to stroll down the Seine with. I'm just a stewardess" I claim and well, it's true: the City of Love is not as romantic without a plus one, even if the girls and I had fun during our land off there, shopping, exploring and dining in lovely bistrot. "I thought you had a companion for your dreamy walk down the river" she shrugs, gesturing to the conspicuous teddybear in beret and striped shirt quietly sitting on a chair at my side. "Oh no, Monsieur Ted and I met in Montmarte. It was a...coup de foudre!" I comment, keeping my face straight long enough to make us both burst into another round of laughters. "It's a gift." I explain. "My best friend has a little girl, it's a gift for her. It's her birthday soon and I promised to be there, I'm sort of an aunt to her. I can't go empty handed and this guy looked nice" Nicole's face softens imperceptibly. "I'm sure she'll love it. I mean, I would have given everything to get a French teddy from my fancy aunt who flies around the world every day" I smile at the compliment. Was it a compliment? I like to think so. "How long have you been working here? I've been based here for a while but I'm afraid I don't remember you" I inquiry, hoping not to offend her. She exhales smoke and gestures it's nothing. "You flight crews are always in a hurry, we don't take it personally" Her lips quickly curl into a shy smile. "It's been a year. Well, it will be a year in a month" she explains. "It's not much but it's an honest job and just what I was looking for. The boss is fair enough and it helps paying the nurse school tuition" "Wanna be a nurse?" "Yeah, I've spent too much time with grandma during my childhood" she chuckles but the hint of a smile suggests she remembers that time quite fondly. "She worked as a nurse during the war and she used to tell me stories of back then...I'm not sure I was supposed to hear all of them but she kept talking. So I ended up being of those weird little girls who had a doll hospital in her bedroom and sew broken teddy bears to cure them. Nurse school sounded like the most logical choice" "That's sweet" I consider. "Why not a doctor though?" "Ah, I'm not sure about it...maybe in the future but I will be happy enough as a nurse, I think" I smile at her earnest answer as she continues nonchalantly. "Just like I'm quite happy now to see flight crews come and go and memorise their order-" "Oh, what's my usual order then?" I tease her. She takes a pause as if I caught her cheating then she guesses right: long black, no sugar, just a drop of milk. I tell her I wish I had her memory when I serve on board. "I'm sure you're doing just fine up there" she smiles encouragely. "And even when I'm not, a nice pair of legs and a charming smile will do the trick, won't they?" I sigh: I might not be too fond of certain looks I receive but that's how things go, I guess. At least, they saved me from getting complaints; on the contrary, on my first flight my supervisor was pleasantly impressed by my "impeccable manners and overall look" as she wrote down on my report. Kelsey opens the mouth to speak again - by the look on her face probably that she didn't mean it like that - but I anticipate her. It's how things go, she must know it too. When I worked at the diner, the costumers refrained from assessing me those looks or pinch me because they had too much respect for my parents. Most of them were long time friends as far as I can remember. So I was quite safe...I hope cute Kelsey is too. A silence falls between us. I immediately wondered if I said something wrong, I'm so used to uncomfortable silence filled with unsaid accusations and complaints that I tense up. But I soon realize that...it's okay. I did nothing wrong, she's silently agreeing with me and maybe pondering what to say next. A look filled with shy curiosity is on her face when she finally speaks again. "Can I ask you something?" "Shoot" She takes a pause as if she's still translating her own thought into words or wondering if she's not crossing a line with her curiosity. "Do you ever get homesick travelling all the time?" That's...not what I was expecting but after all, what was I expecting? Not sure how I can answer that. "Odd question to ask a stewardess" I note, rising my eyebrow and taking time. "I mean, you're always somewhere else, in between places and time zones...one might feels a bit homesick, lost maybe..." Then she shakes her head and falling back to her chair. "I'm sorry I'm just being nosey, that was a silly-" "No, it's an interesting question. I've never given that much thought... I don't know, I've never felt that way, I felt free when I boarded my first plane. I still do when I'm up there in the sky. I think most of us feel that thrill but it's just my point of view. My best friend once argued that mine is not real freedom just a - how did she call it? - oh yes, a strategic retreat so..." I chuckle, reminiscing the conversation Nancy and I had in the kitchen as I helped her with the dishes. The 'concerned sister' look she gave me, handing me a wet dish to dry. 'I'm not saying it's wrong or judging you, Sadie...I have no doubt you're living the exciting life you've always dreamed, God that every girl now dream. But you can't run away forever...' "Maybe it is different if you have something to come back to. That changes things, I suppose. Some miss family, their kids..." I continue. "And you? Do you have something to go back to?" Her question leaves me speechless and gaping. Sure, I have my parents, my friends, Nancy but she has a family of her own now as many others. My brother is far away and out of reach fighting in a war he never fully endorsed. "I don't know" I admit after a moment. Voices come from the main counter urging Kelsey to go back to work. She gives me an apologetic look before searching her pockets. "Well, while you keep looking and flying around the world, at least know that you're always welcome here" She lays a couple of cafe vouchers on the table; then she takes her leave with a gracious smile. "Sadie, Monsieur Ted...it's been a pleasure" "Likewise, Kelsey" I say, waving the teddybear arm. I should probably go home and get some rest: I wasn't joking when I said it's been a long day. I collect my vouchers, pay leaving a generous tip and head to the parking lot. When I wake up in my bed, it's getting dark outside. I brew the third coffee of the day and unpack my bag. As I collect my uniform for the laundry, the vouchers slip off the pocket I secured them into. I make to pick them up when I notice something handwritten behind one of them. I look carefully and it's a phone number with a little airplane doddle to the side. Call me ~ Kelsey

[allie-and-her-fandoms]

I was tagged by my one and only wife @ship-ambrosia to answer this get to know me set of questions. LY so much, boo💖

Ships: Oh, man. This list is gonna be really long, so buckle up!

1) ObaMitsu (Kimetsu no Yaiba): These two are PERFECT!!!! I love that it combined fluff and angst nicely, and how much Obanai and Mitsuri love each other. I am also kind of a sucker for a forbidden romance, especially when the one staying in the way of a relationship is one of the characters that are a part of the said relationship (but even so, Chapter 200 hurt me so much😭). Add some friends to lovers, the grumpy one falling in love with a literal ray of sunshine, a pinch of slow burn and a proclamation of love from both parties and you get the good stuff!

2) Gruvia (Fairy Tail): In my humble opinion, this pairing is the one that pulled the "enemies to lovers" trope the best (from media I know of). but seriously, screw the filler episodes I love that their development was on-screen and that right now, the only thing we need is Gray actually confessing his feelings to Juvia. And I love how Juvia's love is actually genuine, and now we have the confirmation that Gray also loves her (Thank you, 100 Year Quest!). Plus, their dynamics is really nice and they're a really cool couple (no pun intended).

3) Banlaine (Nanatsu no Taizai): This ship has touched my soul and made me cry so often, and I LOVE it! I love Ban and Elaine as individual characters, and this makes the ship even better! I love how Ban turned from the guy who wanted to steal his immortality to one who would gladly give it away to save the love of his life (he's also the best husbando in the whole show; you cannot change my mind). And how Elaine started not liking Humans, to sacrificing her own life to save the man she loved (she is extremely adorable as well). It's also bittersweet that Ban never held any woman in his heart but Elaine for 2 decades, and that for a long time he could not see her again, because as an immortal, he could not die, and since Elaine was dead, he could not be reunited with her in the land of the living either. And now they have baby Lancelot, so SQUEAL!! (Bless you, Nakaba!!)

4) Tomoya x Nagisa (CLANNAD): A cute ship that gave me so many feels! I love how we didn't have to get a kiss to know they love each other, and the lewdest thing we've seen them do is hug each other. THEY'RE SO CUTE AND PURE AND AAAAAH!!! (but the second half of After Story broke me😭)

5) EdWin (Fullmetal Alchemist): Everyone who knows me (and their mother) knows that my favorite romantic trope is "childhood friends to lovers". And EdWin NAILED it! Plus, I love that their relationship felt so... natural. They didn't always say or do the right thing; every relationship has its weird moments. Like, Ed and Winry mostly end up in hilarious situations or have extremely heartwarming moments (plus, Riza and Hughes knew what was going on, wink wonk honk honk). So yeah, Edwin forever, folks!

6) Gomez x Morticia Addams (The Addams Family): These two are GOALS!!!!! Gomez is so openly in love with Morticia and viceversa, they have a happy marriage, two entertaining kids and are genuinely good people, despite their unconventional set of values. They know each other so well, they share the same values and they make each other happy just by being in one another's presence. How can one not love their relationship?!

Honorable mentions (in no particular order): AlBis (FT), GiyuShino (KnY - I love their dynamics), NaLu (FT), TanKana, Uzui x his 3 wives, and ZenNezu (KnY), Kiane (NNT - you know what, Imma add ALL canon NNT ships here, cause they're so GOOD), Risa x Otani (Lovely Complex - the good kush!), Haru x Elie and Musica x Reina (Rave Master), RobStar (Teen Titans), Kataang (AtLA), Ky x Zair (Redakai), Tara x Cal or Tara x Robin (Tara Duncan - I was cool with either of them, before the whole love triangle drama), Missandei x Grey Worm (GoT). These are the ships I remember RN.

Last song I listened to: "Crazy Stupid Love" by Cheryl

Last movie I've watched: "The Addams Family"

Currently reading: "Cinq Mars" by Alfred de Vigny

Currently watching: Black Lagoon (just started watching it, and Revy is already my favorite)

Tagging: @sweetmemories2606, @tobethefairybest, @aconstellationofmemories, @softmitsuri, @blackfangirl173820, @marriedthedark, @darksaiyangoku

[hyuckflirts]

rebound | lee donghyuck

↬ pairings: hyuck x reader

↬ genre: fluff, a pinch of angst, friends to lovers!au, fake dating!au(ish)

↬ warnings: nothing really idk maybe a lovesick!reader lolz, and this is kind of long so,,,

“can you please stop crying goddammit”

your best friend, hyuck said rolling his eyes which just made you cry harder

“i just don’t get it.”

your significant other just broke up with you and you’re lost

they just told you they were tired of everything and now you thought maybe you shouldn’t have given them everything

and you were so used them you couldn’t possibly imagine the next day would be like without their goodmorning text

“you are being dramatic, y/n.” hyuck said opening another box of tissue and giving it to you

“we dated for almost 2 years and a half!”

hyuck turned off the tv and looked at you

“so?”

“so.. who would hold my hand? who would kiss my forehead?”

“oh my god i cannot listen to you right now.”

you wailed “you don’t get it.”

“y/n i’ve never wanted to break your arm more than i want to at this moment.”

“hyuck, you already broke my arm once.”

hyuck opened his mouth like he was about to say something but closed it immediately

embarrassed, he looked away “that was an accident, and this time i’ll make sure i do it on purpose.”

you let your head rest on the hyuck’s sofa and sighed

“what’s so nice in being a relationship anyway?” he said bitterly copying you and resting his head close to yours “all you do is disgust other people and fight then disgust people some more.”

“we weren’t disgusting.”

hyuck gave you a pointed look “um, you were pretty disgusting.”

you frowned. “it was cute for me.” and your eyes started welling up again “how do i move on from this?”

“oh god.” hyuck sat up “go to sleep y/n, look how red your eyes are.” you rubbed your eyes

“yeah i should head home.”

hyuck drove you home, staying by your side until you fell asleep

the morning after, to your surprise, you actually received a morning text but it’s from hyuck

he doesn’t usually text you goodmorning or even at all if he’s not feeling it

he isn’t this sweet so you didn’t reply, thinking it was meant for another person

but it gets even weirder when hyuck showed up at your door when you’re about to eat breakfast carrying a bag of donuts and coffee

“goodmorning!” his smile was bright and he pushed through you making his way inside

“what are you doing?”

“bringing breakfast?”

“i know that” he opened the box of donut, giving you your favorite “but why?”

“isn’t this what boyfriends should do?” he took a donut for himself and dig in

your eyebrows shot up in confusion “what? what boyfriend?”

“me! i’m your boyfriend!”

“yeah my boy friend.” you said emphasizing the space between

“no, boyfriend” he sat on a stool still eating his donut

“what are you doing?” you sat beside him and ate your donut “it’s too early for all this.”

“i’m being a good boyfriend.”

you looked at him, confused at how serious he is

“i’m your rebound. i’m here to show you how disgusting relationships are.” he finally said

“my… rebound?”

“yeah. i’m here to hold your hand and kiss your forehead.” he said in a kissy tone as you laughed

you laughed because you were sure that hyuck was joking until he actually held your hand in school and he even carried your bag

so now you don’t know if you should be laughing or what

“hyuck stop doing this.” you whispered. everyone was looking at the two of you

you guys are known to be best friends and nothing more and people also know you were dating someone else so people are confused at the sight

“stop what?” he asked, enjoying the game

then you saw them

your ex holding someone else’s hand

you started feeling a lump in your throat as you looked away

hyuck held your hand tighter

the day went on hyuck keeps holding your hand and making an attempt to spit some pick up lines

which made you laugh everytime and forget the world around you just for a moment

some days he would get really clingy and whiny to annoy you but you actually find it cute

as much as you don’t want to admit it, hyuck is a pretty good boyfriend

but of course you wouldn’t want to feed his ego so you didn’t said it out loud

for next few days he keeps doing the same

he brings you breakfast, text you good morning and goodnight or ask you if you ate already and all the things you never thought he would ever text you

he even bring you to dates and give you gifts out of nowhere

you never thought hyuck has a romantic bone in his body until this all happened

you thought that you could get used to it

but you know you shouldn’t, he’s your best friend after all

everything was going okay, you were happy and you barely even thought of your ex for the past 2 weeks

until you saw them kissing the same person they were holding hands with right in front of you like they’re rubbing it in

you bit your lip as you felt hyuck’s arm wrapped around your shoulder, blocking them but it was too late

you saw it all

you wonder if they're already doing this even before you broke up

but before you could even think of other things, hyuck pulled you to another hallway

just then you heard your name coming from a girl whispering to her friend “i heard they’re just using hyuck to move on from their ex.”

“that’s fucked up. i thought hyuck’s their best friend.” whispered the other person

hyuck sighed and you looked down

“you know what? let’s just ditch school.” hyuck said, sounding frustrated and intertwined your fingers, leading you to the doors

“i have a quiz in bio toda-“

“you could take it in another day.” he led you to his car and put on your seat belt

“where are we going?” you asked as he buckled his own seatbelt and started the car

“i don’t know.” he said. “we’ll just figure it out as we go.”

the drive was quiet at first, the radio was the only one making a noise

hyuck seems really mad so you decided not to speak

“are you okay?” he finally asked looking at you briefly before looking back at the road

“yeah i’m completely fine.” you said

you yourself were shocked at how you feel

the thought of your ex kissing another person dreaded you but when you actually saw it, you didn’t feel anything

not even a bit of jealousy or anger, you couldn’t care less

the mood went back to light like how it always is with hyuck as he made another failed attempt to punch in another pick up line

then you ended up at a karaoke bar

it made you smile, both of you love this place and is basically your safe place

and you would drop anything just to hear hyuck’s singing

not until hyuck was singing his heart and possibly his lungs out, have you realized how you missed him

you realized how less you spend time with hyuck since you dated someone and it made you feel guilty

but you were mostly glad that he managed to stick around even after all that

you watch him sing and tried to focus on his voice but his face has a different light to it

or maybe it has always been there, you just didn’t look close enough

you tried to recall if his eyes always had stars in it and if he had always shined everywhere he goes and if he was always this beautiful

hyuck offered his hand and you smiled before accepting it and dance around with him, both of you having the time of your lives

it’s the most fun you’ve had in a long time

no one really could ever make you happy as much as hyuck does

it was already dark when hyuck drive you home, you were tired with all the singing and dancing and you could tell hyuck was too

at the car before you get off, you stayed for a little while and looked at him “thank you hyuck.”

“it’s nothing” he smiled

you couldn’t break the eye contact 

then suddenly hyuck reached his hand to your hair and leaning in

he kissed your forehead

your cheeks were hot and so was your ears

it was a complete surprise but you wouldn’t really say that you didn’t like it

you opened the car door and was about to get out but you stopped, you looked back at him and saw that his cheek was red too

“you’re the best boyfriend i’ve ever had.” you don’t know what came over you and made you say that but the smile that tug on hyuck’s lips made your heart beat a little bit faster

when hyuck got home he was all smiles and giggles

he’s like ‘y/n just told me i’m the best boyfriend!!1!’

but then he remember this was not real

he made this as a joke but then it fired back to him

he likes being with you more than before and it felt different

he felt more closer, more comfortable with you despite being friends since childhood

and he did have a tiny crush on you before but he realized that it wouldn’t work out and pushed the feelings away

he remembered how he woke up really early and he gathered up all the courage he had just to text you that “good morning” spending almost half an hour thinking if he should add more as his feelings before comes rushing back at that time

he knew now that he might regret all this but he didn’t like thinking about the future so he didn’t

the next morning hyuck gave you a literal buffet

he went extra lmao

he went and brought a whole breakfast meal with waffles and coffee and all

“oh my god hyuck!”

“i know,” he said fanning himself. “i’m the best boyfriend ever”

you sighed trying to stop smiling “i knew that’s gonna get into your head.” he just shrugged

this went on for a month without you noticing

but hyuck did

he arranged a whole surprise with all the ‘happy 1 month’ decorations with all the balloons and flowers

hyuck was singing your favorite song out of tune and you just laughed so hard while he keep going

you know he hATED this kind of stuff

because your ex used to this for anniversaries and your ex always ask for hyuck’s help and he would love to do anything else in the world

it annoyED him

after the song ended, he came up to you and gave you flowers

“1 month.” he laughed “oh god what am i doing” you laughed along with him

“hyuck i honestly don’t know you anymore, what is all this?’

“honestly i don’t know” he shook his head making you laugh even harder

but he spend the whole day with you hopping from one food stall to another and you enjoyed every second of it

then you remembered that this was not real

you worry that you were enjoying this too much but then he held your hand, flashed you the biggest smile and all the worries are gone

you wished this was all real and it scared you

then you watched the sun set before heading home

he lead you up to your door

then again, he kissed your forehead

you said your goodbyes and watch him walk back to his car but then he stopped

he walked back to you “one last thing” he said, handing you a letter in a cute envelope

you chuckled, about to open it “what is this?” hyuck stopped you before you can open it

“read it when i left.” there was a little blush on his cheek and he ran his way to his car, giving you a one last wave

the letter feels like it’s burning on your hand

it kinda scared you and how he said one ‘last’ time is just,, sending you,,

jk it was making you nervous

when you reached your room, you locked the door behind you and quickly opened the letter

his penmanship was messy but you can still read it

“dearest y/n, i just wanna say that no one ever deserve your tears ever and i hope you know that. you’re one the of the best and beautiful person i’ve met and i’m so glad that i get to know you. i couldn’t even imagine where would i be or who would i be without you. i know what you’re thinking, disgusting, i know but that was my goal wasn’t it? to show you how disgusting relationships are? but in all honesty i just really want to make you feel happy or feel better at the least because you deserve so much happiness. i enjoyed every second with you and gave me some of the happiest times in my life. this is so weird for me!! writing this letter and giving you compliments. it’s taking all my might haha. but i guess what i wanted to say is that, in the process of trying to make you happy, you made me happy. and what i mean is that i like you. more than just a friend. and i know i might regret it, and possibly ruin our entire friendship, i just had to say it, or write it. so if you don’t feel the same, please tell me to end this because i don’t know if i can. and that’s it. yeah. cool. sincerely, the best boyfriend ever.”

your heart is beating so fast and your cheeks hurt from smiling

and maybe for the past month you keep trying not to and denying that you like him but now you know you do

you ran downstairs to go to hyuck’s house

when you opened your door, hyuck was still standing there, making you jump in surprise

“what are you still doing here?” you ask, the letter in your hand and your other hand placed on your chest

“have you read it?” he asked looking at the letter “because i think i gave you the wrong letter i-”

“hyuck,” you cut him “let’s stop this.”

his jaw was hang open for a minute then he pursed his lips. “yeah of course.” he took a step back “yeah i was about to sa-”

“let’s do it for real.” hyuck’s eyes slowly went wide, a smile is carefully making its way to his lips

“wha- really?” you nodded then flung yourself in his arms burying your head on his chest

he pulled away and kissed you on your forehead again, then your lips

it was probably almost midnight but you swore behind your closed lids, it was bright

you felt like you owned a tiny piece of the sun and it’s always in your hand, brightening any dark place and every dark days

then you opened your eyes and it was only hyuck, but it didn’t feel any different than having a fracture of the sun in your arms

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

keep calm and let HR handle it [II/VI]

Rey managed to go a full year without ever directly interacting with her new CEO, but now it seems like he’s dropping by her office every single week.

(Because what else is a love-struck fool to do when he falls for his head of HR other than find reasons to visit her department?)

OR: five times Ben gets summoned down to HR, and one time Rey gets called into the CEO’s office, based on this prompt from @optimisticsprinkles​: “Rey as the director of HR at [office] and Kylo/Ben starts finding reasons to be sent down to HR”.

Welcome back to this 5+1 modern AU in which Rey and Ben go from colleagues to friends to lovers (how predictable of me, I know). Today’s update: there's a ruckus on the 37th floor, but for once it isn't Ben's fault. He heads down to HR anyway because... well, three guesses why.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 Also available on AO3. And hey, maybe check out my Twitter and Ko-fi?

To: rey_niima@organafoundation.com From: dopheld mitaka@organafoundation.com Subject: CODE RED!!!

Rey,

We’ve got a code red on our hands. Grumpy Poe went into Mr. Solo’s office ten minutes ago and they started fighting pretty much immediately, something about Leia. Finn and I managed to separate them before things got physical, and Finn’s dealing with Poe right now. But when I tried to calm Mr. Solo down, he said he was going to go take a walk to clear his mind and that if anyone needs him, he’ll be down in HR.

So heads-up, I guess. Good luck!

Sent from my iPhone.

 To: dopheld_mitaka@organafoundation.com From: rey_niima@organafoundation.com Subject: Re: CODE RED!!!

Hey Mitaka,

Thanks for the warning. I’ll handle things from here. And tell Finn and Poe to get their shit together before HR gets involved, please.

Warm regards, Rey Niima, Head of Human Resources, The Organa Foundation.

 There’s a knock on her open door less than a minute after Rey hits send on her reply to Mitaka, and she looks up from her screen to find an unexpectedly nervous-looking Ben Solo hovering in her doorway.

“Hi,” he says, more to the ground than her, and takes a deep breath before finally dragging his eyes up to hers. “Do you, uh, have a minute?”

It’s odd, how she doesn’t even have to fake or call upon the smile that immediately tugs at her lips. What’s odder still is the fluttery feeling in her stomach that accompanies the realization that she’s the one he came to, but Rey sets that aside for later.

“Sure, come in.” She waves Ben in and watches him carefully shut the door behind himself before crossing the short distance between them to collapse into the chair opposite hers.

Ben closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh before he sits up straight and turns to her. “Judging by your reaction, I’m guessing you already know about the clusterfu– the situation upstairs.”

Rey rolls her chair a little closer to her desk and leans in. “Given the state Poe’s been in these past few days, it was really only a matter of time before he finally got that fight he’s been itching for. I’m just surprised he went after you instead of literally anyone other than his boss.”

“Perks of being childhood friends with the CEO and the former CEO’s golden boy, I guess,” Ben shrugs, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice. He notices it too, Rey thinks, because the next thing she knows he’s forcing a tight smile and cracking a joke he obviously does not find entertaining in the slightest. “Imagine being so confident in your job security that you get to target your boss’ biggest weakness just for sport. Must be nice.”

He drops the act when his forced smile starts looking painful, and Rey scrambles to match what little he’s just revealed about this morning’s fight with the bits and pieces she’s heard about his past with Poe and his relationship with Leia.

It’s an alarmingly incomplete picture, one that leaves her feeling almost helpless. But Ben is here, chose to be here with her out of all the places and people he could have gone to, so she must’ve done something right the first time around… right?

She thinks of the little smile he’d given her last Friday when she’d tried to be supportive of him, thinks of how sincere and surprised his eyes had looked, and wonders if maybe…

“It’s shitty of him, is what it is,” Rey asserts, and then holds her breath as she waits for Ben to react.

Maybe, just maybe… all he needs is someone to listen to him, to let him know he’s not alone. It’s a feeling she knows well, and one she’s spent years figuring out how to deal with – successfully, if the little twitch of Ben’s lips is anything to go by.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” he says, slowly sinking into his chair as the fight seeps out of his tense shoulders, as he senses an ally. “Good luck telling him that, though. Poe Dameron can do no wrong in the eyes of everyone, especially his own. It’s always been that way.”

Rey can’t help the little burst of laughter that escapes her at the thought, not with the memory of Poe being sent to the doghouse by his absolutely livid boyfriend still so fresh in her mind. “Maybe in your experience, but I’d bet good money that Poe is definitely getting an earful about his many, many failures at this very moment. Some of us have seen too much to be fooled by that act of his,” she tells Ben with a smirk, only to remember–

“You probably know what I’m talking about. Childhood friends, huh?”

“Friends, neighbors, two kids who just happened to be around the same age and were forced to spend time together because of it – same difference, right?” Ben shrugs without looking at her, unnaturally preoccupied with fixing a rolled-up sleeve.

Poe tells the story pretty differently, painting a picture of two boys finding brotherhood in their friendship and supporting each other through their toughest childhood years until one of them inexplicably abandoned the other. But then again, Rey supposes there are always two sides to every story.

She lets Ben stew in his residual frustration for a little longer before she asks, as gently as she can, “Do you want to talk about it?”

That catches his attention, but maybe not in the best way. Silence stretches out between them as Ben just keeps looking at her, and eventually Rey feels the need to add, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s totally–”

“That’s the thing, though,” Ben interrupts, his voice softer than she’s ever heard it, almost hushed with… confusion? Wonder? A secret he means to keep just between the two of them? Whatever it is, she has to strain her ears to catch what he says next. “I do want to – talk about it, that is… with you. Which makes no fucking sense, we’ve literally only met once and we’re practically strangers, so what is it about you that–”

He cuts himself off, and for a moment Rey is overcome by the sudden and visceral fear that history is about to repeat itself, that Ben is going to shut down and get up and leave her life just as suddenly as he’d crashed into it all over again.

It makes absolutely no sense, but that seems par for the course considering their… acquaintanceship started with her intending to dress down her CEO. So Rey doesn’t let herself think too much before she quietly says, “I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

Ben forces out a sharp puff of breath, something she’d almost be tempted to brand a laugh if not for the clear frustration on his face. “All part of the job, right?”

His words, his tone – they jog something in her memory, and Rey recalls that he’d said pretty much the same thing on Friday too, right before he walked out. It’s not much, but at least it’s another piece to add to the puzzle she’s been trying to solve ever since that evening.

For now, though, she’s got a far more pressing issue to address.

“I suppose, but I’ve also been told it’s what makes me a pretty decent friend… if you’re looking for one of those.”

Because very little about her experience with Ben Solo so far makes any sense, but that instant spark of recognition she’d felt upon seeing his lost eyes? The way she instinctively understands what he’s silently asking for, what he desperately needs? How every single part of him seems to light up whenever she chooses to stand by his side?

That… that makes all the sense in the world to Rey.

So she offers him a small smile as he weighs her words and her offer, one that grows brighter when Ben’s lips curve to match hers.

“I could use a friend, I think,” he says, “especially since the only one I have is being kind of a dick right now.”

Rey makes a show of closing her laptop and pushing it aside. “Tell me everything.”

So Ben does, starting with the familiar story of a lonely, scared child that makes her heart ache in recognition and solidarity. She’d learned long ago that family isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be, but that doesn’t make the ugly truth behind the Organa-Solos’ picture-perfect family any less surprising or easier to swallow: two parents who loved and cared for their son but also loved and cared for many other things, two people who didn’t know what to do with the child who reminded them more of the ghosts of their pasts than themselves, two individuals who tried their best to give him everything only to end up giving him everything but the things a child needs most.

And then: the golden boy who was everything his parents wanted and everything he was not.

And then: the uncle who could see the good in even the worst of people but not him.

And then: the man who promised him the belonging and acceptance he’d longed for his whole life.

By the time Ben’s done speaking, he still hasn’t actually gone into detail about his fight with Poe. But Rey thinks she’s heard enough about their past to figure it out, seen enough of Ben’s barely-healed wounds to know how easy they would be to reopen. So she doesn’t pry or poke or prod – not today, not when Ben has already offered her so much. Instead, she wordlessly reaches across her desk and offers him her hand, giving Ben a smile and a squeeze while he slowly eases himself back into the present.

“Thank you,” he finally says, voice tellingly thick, “for listening. I’ve never… no one’s ever… I just, I needed to tell my side of the story, just once, you know?”

It’s funny – and a little sad too, Rey realizes – how she’d gone all these years working at the foundation thinking she knew Ben Solo’s story when really, she’d heard it from everyone but him. And she knows she’s not the only one – far from it, and Ben knows, Ben must know, Ben knew when he decided to come back and shoulder his mother’s legacy and work alongside people who’d formed an opinion of him long before they even knew him.

Rey gives him a smile in lieu of all the things she wants to tell him – how brave he is, how far he’s come, how she’ll be there every remaining step of the way if he wants her to…

“Thank you for sharing it with me,” she says instead, lacing their fingers together even tighter in the hopes of conveying all the things she can’t quite put into words without saying too much. “And anytime, Ben. I mean it.”

He stares at her for the longest moment, and then finally gives her a nod. “I’ll probably take you up on that quite a bit,” he says with a smile as he slowly pulls his hand away and stands up to leave. “You know, now that we’re friends and all.”

And he sounds so happy at the thought, it nearly breaks her heart.

Rey stands as well, though she manages to keep herself on her side of the desk and squash down the impulse to walk him the ten feet to her door, at least. “Friends and all,” she echoes in agreement, knowing even as she says so that it doesn’t make any sense or mean anything.

But Ben, Ben just smiles at her as if it makes all the sense in the world, and so maybe… maybe it does, just for the two of them.

Rey is no less puzzled by their interaction when Ben Solo leaves her office for the second time, but at least this time there’s a smile on her face as she gets back to work.

. . .

Hi, I still have no idea what I'm doing but hopefully this lived up to expectations and its predecessor, especially since y’all were so kind and supportive and encouraging the last time around. YOU GUYS!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Anyway, if you weren't pleased by all that convenient 'glossing over the backstory' I did to keep this chapter a manageable and uniform length: worry not. We'll get more of Ben's Sad Tragic Backstory soon, I promise. Until then, as always: thanks for reading, I hope you liked it, and please don't hesitate to like/reblog/comment!

[andaleduardo]

NINE!!!!!

Thank you lovely people for sending me prompts! ❤❤

I know these are from like, 2 months ago? But if you didn’t know my laptop broke the day after I finished all my work and got ready to start filling prompts.I got it back yesterday so here it is!once again I mixed up two prompts because I just felt like they went together really nicely and I love to do 2 in 1 soooo hope you like it!!

9. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”  +22. “Did you just hiss at me?”

To fight like lovers (Ao3)

“C’mon, scoot over.”

Richie, who still hasn’tgotten both legs under the covers, looks up to find Eddie standing right nextto the bed with both hands on his waist.

“Oh, excuse me. Did you saysomething?” Richie asks him with a hand over his chest.

Eddie huffs and stamps onefoot on the ground repeatedly. “Yes, I said keep your big ass limbs to yourself.” He then proceeds to lift hisside of the bed sheets, wanting to get in, but Richie beats him to it andstarfishes his body on the not-so-big mattress.  

“Richie.” Eddie adds with a warning tone.

 “Not until you use the magicword. Don’t worry it’s not ‘my lord’…. or daddy.” That earns him a pillow tothe face. Good thing he already left his glasses on the nightstand.

 “Why do you have to make everythingawkward? I don’t even want to be here in the first place so why don’t you justmake things easier, you idiot?”

 Squinting up at one angryfellow, Richie clicks his tongue. “If you really find sharing a bed with me sounbearable, what are you still begging for?”

With the longest, mostfrustrated sigh in the world, Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose. “Becausethere are only five sleeping bags and you know it. And secondly, a useless gameof truth or dare settled me as the unfortunate one you have to share your bedwith, and you also know it. Now, can you please scoot the fuck over?”

“For someone like me whose’nickname is trashmouth, you sure are some competition with all that cursing,Eds. But since you asked so nicely.” Ever so slowly, Richie rolls over on thebed, now only occupying less than half of the space. He watches as Eddiecarefully gets in and stays as far from him as possible, which isn’t a lot witha childhood bed. For the first time since he came in the room, Richie noticesthat his five other friends are there with them.

He sits up in bed, thereforetaking the covers along with him and leaving Eddie out to the cold air, andstares at the rest of the losers, each in their own sleeping bad, sprawled outon his floor.

With school break, Richie’sparents decided to take a weekend family trip to some cousins’ house. Butluckily, they gave in when Richie begged them to stay, it was only two daysafter all.Two whole days to spend withhis friends. Some parents would have thought their kid would throw a party, butall Richie wanted was to watch shitty movies and eat microwaved food with hisfriends.

With that thought, Richie letshis body fall back against the cushions, sending one arm flying in thedirection of Eddie’s face. It lands on his cheek with a loud smack!Eddie yelps, punches Richie’sarm away from him and proceeds to slap Richie’s body wherever he can reachwhile his left cheek burns red.

They pretend not to hear theannoyed protests of the other losers while they try to kick each other off thebed, sort of like a play fight. Collective groans fill up Richie’s room fromfive teenagers who just want to sleep. But all of those fall on deafyears while Eddie manages to hit Richie’s forehead on a similar way he wasslapped before.

“Aha!” Eddie jumps up invictory. “Take tha-” But before he can finish his sentence, Richie’s feet comein contact with Eddie’s legs and start pushing him off the bed for good. “Whatare you doing?!” Eddie screeches while trying to hold on for dear life. Thefirst thing that he manages to catch is, as expected, Richie’s ankle.But Richie doesn’t cease thekicking and half of Eddie’s body hangs dangerously off the mattress.

“You’re officially banishedfrom this land, m’comrade!”

Eddie’s high pitch scream iscut off with his own words. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”But it’s too late. Eddie rollsoff the bed after one last push to his butt from Richie’s foot.

Richie’s eyes bulge slightlyonce Eddie’s body disappears behind the bed frame but he keeps his mouth sealedtogether to keep the giggles from coming. He waits for some sort of comebackact, but the room is suddenly quiet. At least, Eddie is quiet, unmoving, andRichie pretends not to notice when Stan gets up in his tangled sleeping bag andstorms out of the room with a pillow under his arm.

Before leaving, he mutters. “Greatplan, Beverly, but I’d rather sleep tonight.” Out of the corner of his eye,Richie sees Mike following him to the living room.

Richie clears his throatcarefully. “Eds, you oka-” But the rest of the question dies in the air whenEddie’s hand comes into view and slams on the mattress. Then, following along,Eddie sits up and only his head, tousled hair and furious eyes come into view.

Eddie stares at him andbreathes sharply through his nose. For the second time tonight, he grits histeeth together and says “Richie.” in a dangerous tone. But this timearound, it sounds more like a growl, paired with a very embarrassing sound thatcomes deep within his throat.

Both of them freeze, eyeslocked together (even if Richie’s vision is very much out of focus). Eddie’sface grows warm to the second and Richie can’t help it anymore.

“Did you just hiss at me?-”

“-No.” Eddie cuts himoff, cheeks even warmer now.

“You fucking did-!

“Shut the fuck up, Richie!”

They speak over each otheruntil Richie falls into hysterical laughter. This spurs Eddie into jumping onthe bed to start a pillow aggression again, which goes on for longer thannecessary just to make sure they scare the remaining losers out of the bedroom.Once they hear Bev admittingher defeat, Bill and Ben agreeing and the three of them going for the livingroom too, Eddie stops hitting Richie with the pillow and sits down on his heelsto catch his breath.

“Took them long enough.”Richie whispers and Eddie nods enthusiastically in agreement.

“I thought I’d actually haveto murder you.”

“Oh yeah?” Richie teases. Hedoesn’t give Eddie a chance to reply before he’s tackling him down in a heartfelttickling attack that doesn’t last more than five seconds. He lets both armsfall at his sides and stares down at the boy he adores so much.

“It’s been a month. When arewe telling them?” He has a fond smile on his face that speaks ‘no rush,promise.’

Eddie looks up at him with theremains of chuckles still wearing off. “Soon, I promise.” They settle into anice silence that’s broken by Eddie a few seconds later. “But you have to admitit’s funny to mess with them.”

“They still haven’t given upon trying to get us together, uh?”

“We can’t let them know theysucceeded.”

“God forbid.” Richie chucklesand throws himself on top of Eddie’s chest. “At least we can cuddle all nightin peace.”

Eddie giggles in agreement andwraps both arms around Richie’s frame. “Night’ Rich.”

With one last happy sigh,Richie closes his eyes and relaxes. “Goodnight, my love.”

perma taglist: @mrs-vh @constantreaderfool

[smkkbert]

Mothers know best (8/22)

Summary: Since they have been kids, they have been best friends. Since they have been friends, their mothers wanted them to be together. After coming back from the east coast, Felicity takes over a position at Queen Consolidated, the company her best friend will soon take over from his father. Their mothers still push for them to be together, and they seem closer to that goal than ever because wedding bells are ringing. The only problem is that they both plan to get married to someone else.

Rating: Explicit

Previous chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  

Chapter 8 of 22: Merak

= The feeling of bliss and sense of oneness with the universe that comes from the simplest of things like daily pleasures that add up to a great sense of happiness and fulfillment (Serbian)

Just when he was about to take another look at his schedule to check if he had messed up the time again, Felicity came rushing into the room.

“Hi,” she said quickly and sat down in the empty chair next to him at the conference table. “I am sorry for being late. I was down in the Department of Applied Science and took a look at the progression that’s being made with our bio-stimulant. The results of the last tests looked pretty good and I was discussing all the ways we could still improve the product and suddenly I forgot all sense for time.”

“Don’t worry about it.” With a smile, Oliver handed her a mug of fresh coffee. “You just owe me one now. The next time I am late, you can’t hold it against me.”

“If anything,” Felicity said firmly, leaning forward and taking the mug of coffee from him, “You owe me one less after the 5214 time you were late in our childhood and youth.”

Oliver puckered his lips. “It wasn’t that often.”

When Felicity shot him a pointed look, Oliver rolled his lips into his mouth and looked at him with the cutest facial expression he could offer. Chuckling, Felicity put her hand to his face and pushed him away playfully.

“It was probably even more often.”

With a shake of her head, Felicity lifted the mug of coffee to her lips. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the smell of the steaming liquid for a moment. Only then did she take a sip. The taste made her release a quiet sigh of content.

Oliver smiled softly as he watched her. He had always admired Felicity’s love for coffee. She was like an addict when it came to her daily dose of caffeine. She could never get enough of it.

“Now, do you want to start or should I start?” Felicity asked and shot Oliver a brief look while she was opening the file that she had brought with her. “Please say that I get to start.”

Chuckling, Oliver leaned back in his chair. “Fine. You start.”

Since they had started working together, they had met every other day to update the other on what they were working on and where they needed to communicate more. As long as Felicity was learning the ropes of the company and they were both getting used to working together in the most powerful positions of QC, they were playing it safe with the regular meetings.

Though these meetings made it hard to schedule appointment with investors and partners outside of the company, Oliver enjoyed always enjoyed these meetings. Watching Felicity while she was talking about her work just infected him with this happiness and excitement. It was impossible not to be infected with it given how happy it made her.

After Felicity had told him everything about the progressions down in the Department of Applied Science, he informed her about the current developments on the market. He kept the fact that he had managed to increase the budget for her project until the end of his report. It got him exactly the reaction he had hoped for.

Naming the new number alone made Felicity’s mind go crazy. She started babbling about everything she would do with the money and how they would be able to reach their goals that much faster if they invested the money well.

Oliver had been seventeen years old when he had first started to get to know the company. He hadn’t really been interested in it back then, but his father had insisted that he was getting to know it better. Since Oliver had grown up saying he was going to take over the company one day, he guessed it had only been fair.

Anyway, through all the years, Oliver had talked to a lot of people. He had seen a lot of people talk about their work. Nobody had ever been even close to as excited as Felicity was about her work every single day. It was good to have her in the company. It needed her spirit.

“Half an hour,” Felicity said, stretching out her arms over her head and releasing a long yawn. “We are getting quicker and quicker here.”

Oliver smiled. “Yes, we are. We are good at working together.”

“We have always been good when we have been together,” Felicity replied, leaning back in her chair and holding her mug of coffee between both of her hands. “We are going to rock taking this company into the future.”

Even if hadn’t agreed with her, he wouldn’t say it out loud. Felicity was so convinced of this that no arguing would change her mind anyway. Her optimism was another thing the company could certainly need right now.

“Speaking of future,” Felicity added after a moment, cocking her head at him, “did you make progress with the wedding planning?”

“Yes, we did.”

Oliver smiled briefly before he turned back to his files and pretended to read some of the papers there. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Felicity frowning at him.

Of course Oliver knew that his reaction wasn’t what it should be. He just couldn’t talk about his wedding with Felicity. Her engagement had just been broken off. She had been very rational about it the night she had told him, but Oliver still felt like it was wrong to tell her about his wedding plans now. He didn’t want to hurt her.

“Oliver?”

Pursing his lips, Oliver shot her a brief glance. He tried to turn back to his papers, but Felicity was holding onto the armrest of his chair. She turned his chair around until he was facing her. Even if he tried, he couldn’t avoid her gaze. Felicity was looking at him intently, her eyebrows perked up while she was waiting for Oliver to tell her what was going on with him.

Oliver released a long sigh and took Felicity’s hand, holding it between both of his. He lowered his eyes for a moment before he looked back into her eyes.

“I shouldn’t talk to you about my wedding.”

“Oliver, I am fine,” Felicity said. “Of course it’s sad, but things like that happen. I am not heartbroken. I am not devastated. I am maybe a little bit disappointed, but that really is everything. Besides, even if I was heartbroken or devastated, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be happy for you.”

Oliver scrunched up his nose slightly. “Still, I feel guilty.”

Felicity frowned, and her fingers fumbled with the end of her ponytail a little bit nervously.

“Guilty?” she asked. “Why? It’s not like you had anything to do with our break-up?”

“So you want to tell me that our little trip to BBB wasn’t what triggered this?” Oliver asked doubtingly. “Really?”

Since Felicity had told him about the break-up, he hadn’t been able to get this question out of his mind. He honestly wondered if he should go to Carter and talk to him about it again. He didn’t want to be the reason his best friend lost the love of her life if that was what Carter had been to her.

There was a moment of hesitation and for the break of a second Felicity even broke eye contact. Now Oliver was almost sure that there was at least some truth to his suspicion.

“Oliver, our trip to BBB might have triggered Carter and me to see the truth, but it wasn’t the reason we broke up,” Felicity said quietly. “That was bound to happen eventually, and it just happened soon enough for us to pull the breaks and hop off the wagon.”

Oliver looked at Felicity intensely, trying to find any doubt in her eyes, but she seemed to mean exactly what she had just said. Though Oliver still wasn’t completely convinced, he nodded his head with a long sigh.

“I am really happy for you,” Felicity assured after a moment, squeezing his hand. “You are my best friend, and I want you to be as happy as you can possibly be. I mean I remember those times in high school when you were so afraid of commitment that you were basically sleeping with every girl in school.”

“Hey,” Oliver said and pinched her side lightly. “Don’t be mean. I didn’t sleep with every girl in school.”

“Oh, really?” Felicity cocked her head at him. “Name one that you didn’t sleep with.”

Oliver puckered his lips, but it didn’t last long. A wide grin snuck on his lips instead as Felicity was perking up her eyebrows.

“Well, you. Obviously.”

Felicity chuckled. “Yeah because that would be gross.”

“Totally gross,” Oliver agreed, nodding his head. “Best friends don’t sleep with each other.”

“No matter what the modern movies are trying to sell today.”

Again, Oliver nodded his head and released a long breath. He had watched enough cheesy movies with Felicity, Thea and McKenna to know that romcoms were indeed taking that turn from friends to lovers quite often. Reality just looked different from that a lot of times.

“Anyway, Felicity,” Oliver said a lot more seriously now, “I am really sorry for what happened between you and Carter. I understand if being my best woman is too much for you or-“

“Hey, no.” Felicity shook her head firmly. “I will be here with you every step of the way.”

Oliver smiled with relief. “Like you always have.”

“Like I always have,” Felicity confirmed. “And like you always have for me and like you hope you will always do for me in the future too.”

Perking up his eyebrows, Oliver cocked his head. “Are you referring to something in particular here?”

“I will move into a townhouse I just bought and I could use your help,” she said, “so do you have some time tomorrow to help me?”

“Tomorrow?” Oliver blew out a breath. “That’s quick.”

Felicity nodded slowly before she shrugged her shoulders. “You know me. I don’t like living out of my suitcase.”

“True.” Oliver nodded. “I still thought you were going to take your time before you moved somewhere new. I mean if it’s just because you don’t want to stay in a hotel, you can move in with McKenna and me for a while too.”

“Oh, that’s going to be so romantic with me lying in bed between you two at night.”

Oliver rolled his eyes. “You’d sleep in the guestroom.”

“I didn’t mean this literally anyway,” Felicity whispered back before she chuckled and shook her head. “No, really. The sooner I move forward with my life, the better. What I need now is a new place to call my home, something to build for myself. It’s the right thing to do.”

“Okay.”

Oliver just whispered the word almost under his breath. He had wondered for a brief moment whether her break-up with Carter would make her reconsider living here in Starling. She had denied that very firmly when they had spent the night together a couple of days ago, but Oliver hadn’t been sure if she had really meant it.

When Felicity had left for MIT all those years ago, it had been hard on Oliver. For weeks he had felt like he was walking around with a giant hole in his life. Before she had moved to Boston, Felicity had just always been at his side. It had been an unfamiliar feeling and it had taken him a long time to get use do it.

He had had her back for a couple of days now, but he already knew that he didn’t want to go back to having his best friend live that far away from him. He was just feeling better as long as she was here.

“So will you help me?”

“Of course I will,” Oliver assured her with a smile. “Whatever you need, I am here for you. Always.”

Felicity nodded her head and squeezed both of Oliver’s hand in a wordless gratitude. They had been friends for so long that there were no more words needed between them. Quiet gestures were everything that was needed to understand the other. They had a connection like that.

When a strand of hair loosened from Felicity’s ponytail and fell to her face, Oliver felt Felicity’s fingers loosening from his. He was quicker though. Leaning forward, he tugged the strand back behind her ear with a gentle gesture.

When his eyes found hers, he noticed that she was already looking at him. Her eyes were widened slightly and she had her bottom lip caught between her front teeth like she did so often. Without thinking about it any further, Oliver stroked his thumb over her bottom lip to free it from her front teeth.

His gaze lingered on her lips, and he could feel his thumb tickling with the desire of touching it again. Hesitatingly, he brought his thumb back closer to her lips and-

A knock at the door made both of them flinch and move apart quickly. Oliver pulled his hand back like he had just burnt himself. He still felt the prickling feeling linger on his skin, but it was different now.

Felicity didn’t look any more comfortable than he did as she was stroking her hair back with almost trembling hands. Her eyes met his briefly, but she looked away so quickly that Oliver didn’t know what she was possibly feeling or thinking.

Resting his hands flat against the tabletop, Oliver cleared his throat. Then he lifted his eyes.

“Dad,” he said with surprise when he found his father standing in the frame of the door and looking back and forth between him and Felicity. “I thought you were out to meet Ted Kord.”

“Ted had to cancel,” Robert said slowly, looking back and forth between him and Felicity once more. Though he tried to hide it, Oliver was sure he could see the slightly disapproving expression of a father who just got to know his daughter’s boyfriend in his eyes. “Do I bother?”

“No,” Felicity replied quickly, putting on a slightly nervous smile. “Absolutely not. Oliver and I just finished updating each other on what we are working on and wanted to-“

“-have wild sex on the conference table.”

Felicity shot Oliver an angry glare. When he only grinned at that though, Felicity rolled her eyes. Putting her hand to the armrest of his chair, she pushed it far away from her. The chair rolled over the marble floor to the other end of the conference table, making Oliver chuckle.

As much as Felicity tried to hold onto her anger, all Oliver had to do was wink. A smile broke through her frown, and she looked away with a shake of her head.

Oliver chuckled quietly and looked at his father, who had watched them with his arms crossed in front of his chest. From the expression in his eyes, he was still a little suspicious or whatever to call it. He was watching both of them closely, his eyes narrowed down on them.

Shaking his head, Oliver rolled his eyes. In all the years, his father had never joined in on this crazy dream of Donna and Moira that maybe one day Oliver and Felicity would suddenly discover that they had been in love all along. He better didn’t start now.

“So, everything is going okay here?” Robert asked, stepping closer into the room. “Or is there anything you need help with?”

“I think we are getting along quite well,” Felicity said and shot Oliver a brief glance. “Right?”

Oliver nodded his head in agreement. “We have already made some progress on reliving that project about the spine chip.”

“And with spine chip he means our bio-stimulant of course.”

Oliver looked at Felicity, but she just smiled innocently. Shaking his head, Oliver smiled too. He couldn’t be angry with her either. They just couldn’t be angry with each other. It was one more reason why working together worked well for them.

“And working together works well for the both of you?” Robert asked, looking back and forth between them once more. “No disagreements? No rivalry?”

“Since we are working on two completely different things,” Felicity replied with a shrug of her shoulders, “we are complementing each other rather than rivaling.”

“Just like friends should do,” Oliver added. “Really, we are working together even better than I thought we would.”

Robert smiled softly. “Luckily, I wasn’t expecting anything else.”

Oliver and Felicity shared another look, knowing exactly what Robert meant. Working with a friend could get complicated when business and friendship mixed. Luckily for them, this wasn’t the case here. They got along well in the office, so there couldn’t be any bad ramifications on their friendship.

If Oliver ever had to decide between working with Felicity and being friends with her, he would gladly leave the company to her and find something else to do. He could live without QC, but he couldn’t live without his best friend.

“Now, since things are going so well, why don’t we all go out to lunch together?” Robert asked. “I’ll invite you.”

Oliver pursed his lips. He had an appointment at The Geek Squad that he didn’t want to miss. He couldn’t tell either of them where he was going though and John couldn’t serve as his alibi this time around either. He had taken a few days off to go on a short vacation with his family. Since he was working for Robert, Oliver was sure that his father was very aware of that.

For a short moment, Oliver wondered if now was the right time to tell them the truth. He knew there was nothing he had to fear and both of them would keep this secret for him if he told them that he didn’t want anyone to know. He might not get another chance at telling them so easily anytime soon.

“I would love to,” Felicity said before Oliver could decide what to do, “but I promised Tatsu to pick up Akari from school today.”

Oliver almost released a low breath of relief. Now might have been the perfect time to tell them, but he hadn’t been really ready for that yet if he was being completely honest. He had kept this secret for so long now and he was happy about the way things were going there. He didn’t want anything about it to change.

“What about you, Oliver?” Robert asked. “Time to have lunch with your old man?”

“Sorry,” Oliver replied with a sigh, shaking his head. “I am busy too.”

“Okay.” Robert nodded his head. “Then I guess we will do this some other time.”

“Gladly.” Felicity replied. “But I insist on a good steakhouse or at least a restaurant where I don’t have to search for my food with a magnifier.”

“I would never dare to invite you anywhere else.” Robert winked at Felicity the way Oliver always did before he knocked his fist against the frame of the door. “I’ll see you two soon.”

Oliver lifted his hand to a brief wave. As soon as his father had disappeared, he glanced at his watch though. Knowing the traffic during lunchtime, Oliver decided it was probably better to leave early. He straightened up in his chair quickly and piled up the papers he had brought here with him.

He was excited to go back to The Geek Squad. There was a new girl that was going to introduce herself today. She’d come by with her godmother to take a look at the program they offered. Hopefully, he was going to convince her of joining The Geek Squad.

When Oliver had piled up his papers, he was about to grab the pile and get up to leave. The moment he turned to Felicity, ready to tell her goodbye for the day, he noticed that she was watching him though. She was leaning back in her chair, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her head cocked at hi  slightly.

Oliver frowned. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you going out for this secret stuff again?”

As much as he tried to hide a grin, Oliver wasn’t able to. The fact that Felicity just knew that he was going there again made him smile. She just knew him so well, better than anyone else he guessed.

“I am,” he confirmed after a moment. “I have stuff to do there.”

“Secret stuff at your secret hobby in a secret place.”

Oliver shot her another brief glance, smiling. “That are a lot of secrets indeed, but they will stay secret for a while.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “You still won’t tell me what you are doing there?”

“No.” Oliver shook his head. “Not yet.”

Maybe not ever he added in his thoughts, but he kept that part to himself. He couldn’t really see himself sharing this secret with anyone yet. Of course it was possible that this would change one day. For now, he liked it the way it was though.

“But you are going to tell me one day, right?”

With a sigh, Oliver got up on his feet. He lifted the pile of papers into his arms and started walking to the door. He was well aware that Felicity was following him with her eyes. He wouldn’t get around answering.

Only in the frame of the door, Oliver turned back around to Felicity. Just like he had known already, she was indeed still looking at him. Nosiness was written all over her face.

“I might tell you one day,” Oliver replied with a sigh. “Just not yet.”

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him even more. “I could just hack your phone or your laptop or both and figure this out all by myself.”

“I know you could,” Oliver replied, his voice showing no doubt since there wasn’t any. He knew Felicity’s skills, and she could easily hack him. “I just trust you enough to assume that you won’t do it.”

At that, Felicity’s eyes softened. She angled her head even more to the side as a soft smile spread on her lips. Warmth was sparkling in her eyes.

“You can trust me,” she promised. “Always.”

“I know I can.”

He really knew he could. He had never told a person as much about his life as he had told Felicity. She was the one who knew him the best because he had always told her so much about himself. Felicity had always been the person he had known he could trust.

To say Oliver was lucky to have her was an underestimation. He knew he could never find a better best friend. He would never meet another person like her, someone he could so easily be himself around without ever feeling uncomfortable.

Besides, having Felicity as a friend was much better than having her as an enemy. With her skills, she could destroy a person in a heartbeat.

“I gotta go now,” Oliver said eventually. “I will see you tomorrow to help you move.”

“Thanks.” Felicity smiled. “And have fun doing your secret stuff.”

“I will.”

Oliver had already taken a few steps when he got slower and eventually stopped completely. He thought back to the moment he had shared with Felicity before his father had interrupted. He didn’t know what had gotten into him in that moment, but he knew that it had made Felicity feel uncomfortable and he couldn’t say that he was feeling at ease thinking about it either.

Pursing his lips, Oliver turned back around and stepped into the frame of the door once more. Felicity was just grabbing her stuff to leave too. When she saw him standing there again, she stopped to just look at him though.

“Forgot something?”

Oliver hesitated briefly, but soon the words blurted out of him. “Are we okay?”

Felicity frowned like she had no idea what he was talking about. Oliver shot her a meaningful gaze, dipping his head forward slightly. He doubted that this was actually helping, but Felicity seemed to know what he was referring too. Of course she knew. She knew him like that.

Biting down on her bottom lip, Felicity lowered her eyes. She stroked her hands over the cover of her file like she needed to smooth out any wrinkles that were in the paper. Oliver knew that she was just trying to busy herself though. She needed time to think about her answer.

“Do you remember that day you convinced me to go skating with you and I fell on my butt so hard that one time that there were little scratches quite high on the back of my thigh?”

“Of course I do.” Oliver tried to hide a grin. “I felt terrible for convincing you to do that.”

“I hope you did because those bruises hurt,” Felicity replied, her voice soft. “Anyway, when we were home, I tried to apply that gel to the back of my thigh, but I couldn’t reach the right spot without hurting myself even more because I was already terribly sore.”

Oliver nodded his head. “I was the one who did it for you.”

How could he ever forget that awkward moment when he had had to touch his best friend’s butt? He had barely been able to look Felicity in the eyes the rest of the day because it had just been so weird.

“And you ask me if it made me uncomfortable that you touched my cheek?”

Again, Oliver nodded his head slowly since Felicity was right. He didn’t even know why he was making such a fuss about that little touch of before. It wasn’t like he had never touched Felicity’s cheek before.

“I mean what do you think should have happened?” Felicity asked. “That I’d freak out because you touched my cheek? Or that I fall madly in love with you all of a sudden?”

“Yeah, certainly not.” Oliver shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I am honestly not sure what I thought would happen. I am just glad that we are okay. I- I guess I will go now.”

Felicity nodded her head, not saying another word. Oliver just shot her one more smile and left.

* * *

“Hi, Ollie.”

Oliver had trouble not to groan. If there was one thing that bothered him about The Geek Squad, it was the fact that Carrie Cutter was working here. She always seemed to be flirting with him and it was just annoying.

Of course Oliver knew that he could just fire Carrie. The problem was just that she was really good with the kids. Firing her would take away a weekly annoyance for him, but it would also make a lot of the girls that were learning here sad.

“Hi, Carrie,” Oliver said, biting back a sigh. He put the plans for a possible expansion of The Geek Squad into the topmost drawer of his desk and folded his hands on the tabletop. “How’s it going today?”

“It’s quiet.” Carrie shrugged her shoulders, leaning into the door. “A few girls told me they have some tests coming up, so I guess they have to cut back on there time here a little bit.”

Oliver nodded his head. “Yeah, I remember.”

A lot of girls couldn’t come here regularly because their parents couldn’t or maybe just didn’t support them as much as necessary. They came here when they found the time, but often their lives were too busy and too unpredictable for regular visits.

Oliver wished there was something he could do to support those families at home too. Apart from sex and race, he was sure that the familial background was an important factor for success in school and career. Parents’ support was just too important to not be a factor.

Since Oliver wasn’t too proud to admit it, he could honestly say that his family was the main reason why he had been able to make something of himself. When Oliver had been lazy or disrespectful at school, his parents had kicked his ass. When his grades had become bad, his parents had made sure he was repeating the stuff. When Oliver hadn’t understood something new, they had asked Felicity to explain it to him.

Smiling, Oliver shook his head. Even during the time that Felicity had still been one grade behind him, she had been able to help him through his classes.

“Given how quiet it is, maybe we could drink a mug of coffee together,” Carrie suggested eventually. “I mean when else do we get the time to really get to know each other?”

Oliver had to bite down on his tongue to not start laughing or ask Carrie if she was being serious. It was one thing to flirt with your boss when he was single, but Oliver had never hidden the fact that he was taken. He hadn’t dived deeper into it because he was trying to separate between The Geek Squad and everything out of it when it came to his personal life, but it was no secret that there was someone in his life.

Carrie’s unashamed attempt of asking him out on a coffee date was just cheeky.

“Actually, I-“

“Mr. Smoak?”

Oliver almost released a sigh of relief when Rosalie stepped into the frame of the door behind Carrie. She smiled warmly like she always did. In some way, she reminded Oliver of Raisa, so he wasn’t surprised that he felt absolutely comfortable around her.

“Is our newest prospect already here?”

“Yes.” Rosalie nodded, still smiling. There was a little bit of confusion in her eyes though as she added, “Ms. Smoak just arrived with her.”

“Ms. Smoak?”

Carrie looked at him with a frown. Apparently, she had processed this news a lot more quickly than he himself had.

In these four walls of The Geek Squad, he had been Mr. Smoak. He had lived with his name here for so long that the bare mention of a Ms. Smoak should be weird to him. On the other hand, he had honored Felicity’s smartness and everything she had achieved from the very moment he had decided to build The Geek Squad. Hearing that she or any Ms. Smoak was here just felt so natural to him at the same time.

It was a weird feeling to be so torn between feeling absolutely familiar and comfortable with this situation and feeling like it was so irrational at the same time. It was hard to describe.

“Is that your wife?” Carrie asked when Oliver didn’t answer. “Are you married?”

Oliver released a sound that could mean anything. It could be a confirmation. It could be a negation. He wasn’t ready to answer. He wasn’t even sure if he really understood what was happening right now.

“They are waiting for you at the reception.”

With a nod of his head, Oliver got up from his chair. His thoughts were still spinning when he followed Rosalie aside and down the hallway to the reception. Was Felicity really here?

The question answered itself the moment he turned around the corner. Felicity was standing at the reception, looking through a flyer about The Geek Squad. Her eyes were narrowed down slightly. A young girl, Akari he guessed, was standing next to her, an excited smile on her lips as she looked around the foyer.

For the break of a second, Oliver wondered if Felicity had hacked him after all. He knew that she could easily do so. It wouldn’t take her long or demand a lot from her. She could basically do it on the way from her office to her elevator. She was that good.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, as quickly it faded away again though. If there was one person in his life that he trusted blindly, it was Felicity. He knew she would never cross a line like that, especially when she had promised him not to do so only an hour ago. She was the best friend he could have, so of course she wouldn’t do something like that.

It had to be a coincidence that Felicity was here, and he guessed that the girl by her side was the very reason for that. Oliver didn’t know much about Akari. What he did knew was that her mother had been at MIT with Felicity before she had given birth and that Akari lived in the Glades with her mother. From what Felicity as her absolutely unbiased godmother – she herself had pointed that out – had told him, Akari was a really smart girl.

“Ms. Smoak,” Rosalie addressed Felicity when Oliver stayed silent, just staring at his best friend. “Mr. Smoak is now ready to talk to you.”

Felicity shot a smile at Rosalie. Her eyes turned to Oliver briefly before she looked at Rosalie once more, and Oliver could have pinpointed the very moment that she had processed who she had just seen there. Her eyes widened slightly as she turned back to stare at him.

A long moment of silence passed. Oliver wondered how he was going to handle this situation now. He hadn’t been prepared to share this secret with her. He hadn’t even been sure if he should tell her or anyone at all.

It didn’t take long for Oliver to realize that he wasn’t feeling uncomfortable about it because he had never had any reason to feel uncomfortable around Felicity. She had always been the one person in his life who had accepted him and supported him no matter what. So he wasn’t uncomfortable. He was nervous at most because there was no way that Felicity could miss who had inspired him for this project. The name of this building as well as the name he had used to hide his real identity was as revealing to her as it possibly could be.

With Carrie still in the back of his neck, trying to take a look over his shoulder at Felicity, Oliver figured that maybe this was a happy chance for him.

“Felicity, Hon.”

Felicity looked slightly confused about the way he addressed her. There was a small cringe between her eyebrows that told him so, but Oliver doubted that the others could see it. They didn’t know Felicity as well as he did.

Oliver crossed the distance to Felicity quickly. Putting his hands to her hips, he brushed his lips against the shell of her ear and whispered, “Please play along. I need help here.”

Stepping next to her, Oliver wrapped one arm around her slim waist. Felicity was still staring at him, even more confused now he guessed. With the slightest of a nod towards Carrie, who was watching them intently, he tried to tell her what was going on. Felicity seemed to catch up quickly because, with only one brief glance at the nosy redhead, she leaned into his side with a warm smile.

“Hey.” She put a hand to his chest and rubbed her hand over his heart. “I hope I don’t inconvenience you.”

“You inconveniencing me?” Oliver winked at her. “Never.”

Oliver and Felicity smiled at each other. He hoped that she knew how grateful she was that she was playing along. She had to have a thousand questions about this. Yet here she was, helping him about something she didn’t even know fully about. She was just as remarkable as she had always been.

Clearing her throat, Felicity eventually leaned a little away from him. She reached out her hand for the girl she had brought with her and pulled her in front of her.

“Oliver, you didn’t get around meeting my good friend Akari yet,” she told him, a proud smile on her lips. “She is quite smart.”

“I just love mathematics,” Akari said, shrugging her shoulders. “And biology and tech. And chemistry.”

Oliver shot Felicity a brief smile. He guessed she and Akari were a lot alike. At least these last five seconds made it sound like it.

Getting down on his knees, Oliver brought his face on one level with Akari. With a smile on his lips, he reached out his hand. Akari looked at it briefly and took in a deep breath before she put her much smaller hand into his and shook it.

“Hi, Akari,” Oliver said. “I am Oliver Queen.”

“I am Akari.” She faltered briefly. “But you already knew that.”

Oliver chuckled. “Yes, I do.”

With a shy smile, Akari leaned back against Felicity, who wrapped her arms around Akari from behind. Oliver met her eyes briefly and smiled even wider when he saw Felicity smiling at him.

“So, you like science, Akari?”

Akari nodded her head. “Yeah. A lot.”

“That’s cool, and it’s a good thing you are here then because we love science here too.” Oliver tapped his fingers against Akari’s heart playfully before he shot a look back at where Carrie was standing. “This is my colleague Carrie. She is going to show you around here. If you find something that you are interested in and that you want to try, feel free to do so.”

When Carrie stepped closer, Akari shot a look at Felicity. “Can I go with her?”

Felicity smiled and nodded her head. “It’s why we are here. You go and have fun. I’ll be here when you want to leave.”

Side by side, Oliver and Felicity watched Akari leave with Carrie. The little girl shot another look back at Felicity like she wanted to make sure that she wasn’t going to leave. Only when Felicity smiled and winked at her, Akari took another deep breath and left.

When Felicity turned her head to look at Oliver, he didn’t say a word. He just laced his fingers with hers and tugged at her hand. He led her to his office, pushed her through the door and stepped in right after her.

The moment Oliver had closed the door behind them, still wondering what exactly to tell Felicity now, she was already right in front of him.

“What is all of this?” she asked him. “When did you build this? Why did you build this? How did you even get the idea? And why does nobody know about this? Or does someone know about this? But if someone knew about it, why would you use some other name? And why are you using my name of all the names possible?”

Felicity continued to fire questions at him, but she didn’t give him any time to answer even a single one of it. She just asked more and more questions. Meanwhile Oliver was trying to remember all of them, so he could answer them once Felicity allowed him to speak.

For now, that didn’t seem to be the case though.

Oliver waited patiently, taking his time to just watch Felicity. From the expression in her eyes, he was almost sure that she was at least a little bit excited about this. She might be confused, the deep cringe between her eyebrows proved that to him, but there was a sparkle of excitement and amazement in her eyes.

It was all the knowledge Oliver needed to feel safe about talking to Felicity. Since she just continued babbling, he put a gentle hand to her shoulder.

“Felicity.”

Felicity fell silent immediately. She took in one deep breath of air and pressed her lips together. With still wide eyes, she waited for him to answer her.

“I-“ Oliver pursed his lips, briefly wondering where to start with telling her. “A few years ago, I read another article about the Glades. There was a lot of focus on how the children growing up here, especially girls, had little to no chance of making something of themselves.”

Felicity nodded. She knew as well as he did what the Glades were like. Since she had spent a lot of time at the Queen Mansion with him, she certainly remembered the conversations his father had had with his friends about the Glades too. Oliver wasn’t the first in the Queen Family, who hoped to make some change here.

“Later that day, I overheard our mothers talking in the living room. Donna was talking about you and how proud she is of you.”

Smiling softly, Felicity lowered her gaze briefly. As much as she loved to talk about how smart she was, she still reacted almost a little bit shy when people acknowledged it, especially Donna. Mother and daughter hadn’t always been the best friends. They hadn’t even gotten along very well. Felicity had felt like her mother, who was so different from her, just didn’t understand her. At least when it came to her intellect and her interests, Felicity was taking a lot after her father.

“Your mother mentioned that, if it hadn’t been for my family, you and your mother might have ended up in an area like the Glades or maybe even worse.” Oliver remembered stopping dead in his tracks after he had heard that, imagining Felicity in some dark alley with dodgy guys. “And I realized that there might be girls out there who are incredibly smart, but they just aren’t given a chance to show that. Their talents get lost because they don’t come from a nice house in the suburb.”

Oliver shook his head. He had once been to a school here in the Glades to advertise for The Geek Squad. A lot of teachers were over challenged with handling the kids and surrendering. Many of them seemed to have given up hope on their students, and Oliver didn’t think that anyone could hold it against them. Kids mirrored what they saw in their environment. Kids of the Glades grew up in an environment of violence, so that was what they were mirroring a lot of times.

“I mean knowing how smart you are and how determined you have always been to make something of yourself and to learn so much more, I think you might have made it on your own.” Oliver nodded slowly like he needed to reassure himself and reassure her that he really meant it. “You would have probably managed to make it to the top of a company anyway. It would have just been more exhausting, and it would have probably taken some more time.”

“Or maybe I wouldn’t have made it?”

Oliver didn’t falter. “That wouldn’t have been possible.”

Felicity was touched by his words. Her eyes glazed over and she lowered her eyes for a moment. Oliver grabbed her hand. When he squeezed it gently, Felicity locked her eyes back with his.

“I know that this world is going to be better with you as a CEO of Queen Consolidated. If someone will make a change in this world or leave some meaningful footprints, it’s going to be you,” he said with certain voice because it was exactly what he was thinking and feeling. “The only thing I can do is trying to make sure that even more girls will have a chance of leaving their footprints on this earth in a good way.”

While a comfortable silence was spreading between them, Oliver’s thumb rubbed back and forth over the back of Felicity’s hand. She had lowered her eyes to the floor once more. Although Oliver was desperate to hear what she was thinking, he didn’t push. He could see from her frown that she needed time to think about this herself first.

Oliver’s heart was beating frantically in his chest. With every beat, his heart pounded against his ribs so firmly that Oliver almost felt like it would crack them. He was holding his breath, so he didn’t make any other sound that could make him overhear whatever Felicity would say. He was almost sure that she could hear his heartbeat too.

Finally, Felicity lifted her gaze back at him. The crinkle between her eyebrows had deepened even more.

“The Geek Squad? Mr. Smoak?” She shook her head slightly like she couldn’t find the right words. “Why?”

“Because of you of course,” Oliver said matter-of-factly. “Felicity, you helped me turn into the person I am today. I know you always respected me the way that I was and you never really wanted me to change, but you inspired me. That changed me, turned me into someone better. It’s why our friendship always worked so well.”

The corners of Felicity’s lips twitched before a smile spread there.

“The Geek Squad is my way of giving back some of what you gave me,” Oliver added. “This world gave me the best friend I could possibly have. Now I am giving the world something back for that. Since this was a sign of my gratefulness, I didn’t want the media or my mother to make a big fuss about this. When I was thinking about a codename, yours was the first that came to my mind. Honoring all of this to you always felt like the right thing to do. Besides, you are going to bring a lot of success to the name Queen by working for Queen Consolidated. It’s only fair that I will help your name to be recognized a little more too.”

For a long moment, Felicity’s eyes stayed locked on his. When she looked away, she was blinking several times. It didn’t keep Oliver from seeing the tears that were welling in her eyes though. She released a breathless chuckle when she finally looked at him again.

“Wow,” she whispered. With another chuckle, she punched her fist against his chest playfully. “If your vows to McKenna is going to be half as meaningful as the speech you just gave me, I swear you will make everyone cry.”

Oliver needed a moment to process the sudden change of mood and subject. He guessed Felicity didn’t exactly know how to deal with the situation either, so she did what she could do best. She was using humor to cover her insecurity.

Squeezing her hand, Oliver replied, “Let’s hope I will be able top this at all.”

“Of course you will.” Felicity smiled. “Talking about someone you love so deeply always adds a particularly emotional note to it. It will work like that.”

Oliver nodded his head slowly. Felicity was probably right. At least he hoped she was right. So far, whenever he had tried to think about his vows, his head had been all empty. Maybe it was just the pressure of knowing that everyone would listen to those vows that made it so hard to find the right words.

As long as it was just him and Felicity, it was different. He knew that, even if he expressed himself completely wrong, she would understand. Felicity always did.

“How did you even find this place?” Oliver asked eventually. “I mean why did you come here out of all the places possible?”

“I was looking for something near Akari’s home, so she could go there as often as possible.” Felicity chuckled. “The fact that a secretive Mr. Smoak had started this project had just felt like a sign for me.”

“I guess it was,” Oliver replied. “I am really happy you found this place.”

“Although it means that I found out about your secret?”

Oliver nodded. “I am glad you found out about it. I don’t like to keep secrets from you. I don’t like that we are keeping secret from each other.”

“Yeah, neither do I.”

Felicity’s answer had only come after a beat of hesitation. As short as that moment had been, Oliver hadn’t missed it. Something told him that they weren’t as honest with each other yet as he had thought they were.

Before Oliver got to ask about it, there was a knock at the door though.

Oliver shot another brief look at Felicity, considering to ask her about it, but Felicity was already pulling her hand from his and taking a step back. There was no use in asking her about it now. She wouldn’t tell him the truth because the trustful atmosphere with just the two of them was over.

“Yes?” Oliver said when there was another knock. “Come in.”

Rosalie stuck her head into the door. She smiled warmly like she always did as she looked back and forth between Oliver and Felicity.

“I am sorry to interrupt you,” she said, “but Akari saw everything and is ready to go now.”

Oliver frowned. “Already?”

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders. “I got the impression that she really liked what she saw, but she might be a little tired.”

“She had an exhausting day at school,” Felicity told Oliver, putting a hand to her forearm. “I considered delaying our visit here, but she was too excited.”

“Well, then let’s asks her when she wants to come back,” Oliver suggested, “and then you get her home to relax a little.”

Felicity nodded, smiling at him. “Sounds like a good plan.”

When they arrived back at the foyer where Carrie and Akari were already waiting, Oliver got what Felicity had meant. Akari looked like she was about to fall asleep right there. Her lids seemed to be tired as her eyes were barely opened. She blinked several times when Felicity stepped closer to her. As soon as she recognized her, she smiled though.

“How did you like The Geek Squad?” Felicity asked her. “Did you enjoy it?”

“It’s cool.” Despite her tiredness, there was excitement shining through her voice. “I love it here.”

“That’s good.” Oliver smiled proudly. “You are always welcomed here. Whenever you want to come by, the door is open for you.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Oliver promised and winked at her. “And if you ever need someone to pick you up at home or to take you back, you call Felicity. She has my number. If Felicity can’t do it, I will do it for you.”

“You are nice.”

Oliver chuckled. “I am trying.”

When Akari yawned heartedly, Felicity chuckled. Stroking her hand over Akari’s dark hair, she pulled the keys of her car from the pocket of her coat.

“Akari, you go ahead to the car. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Nodding her head, Akari took the keys and already walked to the door. Oliver and Felicity exchanged a look, and they both had troubles to contain their laughter. Sleepy kids could be quite funny it seemed.

“Bye, Carrie,” Akari said at the door, turning back around once more. “Bye, Oliver.”

“See you soon,” Oliver replied, while Carrie just lifted her hand for a brief wave. “And get some rest.”

Yawning once more, Akari nodded her head. She didn’t say anything else though as she just turned towards the door and left.

Oliver couldn’t hold onto his chuckle any longer. He turned to Felicity, who was chuckling and shaking her head too.

Just when Oliver wanted to ask if she was getting along with Akari on her own or if Oliver should join them, so he could carry Akari into her bed, the expression on Felicity’s face changed. Glancing at something or someone behind him, she stepped closer towards him.

“What’s the deal about that redhead?” she asked in a whisper. “She’s staring at us.”

Oliver groaned. He didn’t have to look back over his shoulder to check what she meant. He knew Carrie long enough to know exactly how she was looking at them right now.

“I fear she’s into me,” Oliver whispered as quietly as he could. “She’s been trying to flirt with me since I hired her. No matter how many times I tell her that I am in a relationship, she continues to flirt with me.”

“Oh poor Oliver Queen,” Felicity whispered, an amused grin on her lips. “He’s just too handsome for the world.”

Oliver pinched her side, but he pulled her into his arms in the next moment already. While they were hugging and swaying from side to side slightly, Felicity rubbed her hands over Oliver’ back. The warmth of her skin sought through his clothes.

“I think I got an idea how to shut Carrie up eventually.”

Oliver whispered the words into Felicity’s ear, still not sure if he should follow up on that. When Felicity started to lean back and out of the hug, Oliver made a quick decision though. The moment Felicity had leaned her head back enough, so they could look at each other, he leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss.

It was supposed to stop Carrie from flirting with him ever again. The moment his lips touched Felicity’s, all thoughts about Carrie vanished from his mind though. All thoughts he had had the break of a second ago were just like erased. His head felt empty like he didn’t know the meaning of a single word anymore.

Everything inside of him was focused on the feeling of Felicity’s lips against his. They felt even softer and fuller than they looked. It made his entire body tingle in the best way possible. Heat pooled in his stomach and spread through his body.

Oliver had to suck in a deep breath to stop this feeling from taking over completely. It only caused him to breathe in the sweet scent of Felicity’s skin though. The familiarity of it made the tingle inside of him only increase more. Another wave of heat rushed through his veins. He felt like he was running a fever, a fever that made want to open his mouth and pull her bottom lip between his so badly.

Before his fever pushed him to cross a boundary that would make it hard to come back from, Felicity pulled back though. Her eyes were widened as she looked at him with intense eyes. Her pupils were blown wide and she was panting through slightly opened lips.

Oliver gulped, unsure what to say. From the way she was looking at him, Oliver was sure that whatever had just happened inside of him, Felicity either knew about it or she had felt it too. And something told him that the feeling had nothing to do with the awkwardness of kissing your best friend.

“I gotta go now,” Felicity whispered eventually. “Akari is waiting for me.”

Oliver gulped once more. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, but he regretted it the moment he noticed the sweet taste of Felicity’s lips on his. Oliver had to clear his throat to be even able to say a single word.

“Sure.” His voice was so low that he was surprised that Felicity could hear him. “Bye, Felicity.”

They continued looking at each other for another long moment, neither of them saying a word. Oliver was holding his breath, unable to breathe. Everything inside of him was still focused on Felicity, almost like there was just the two of them on this earth right now.

Soon, too soon probably, Felicity stepped back though. His hands fell away from around her waist. She lowered her eyes, breaking eye contact. All of a sudden, Oliver became aware that there was so much more to the earth than just the two of them. Starting with his fiancée.

“Bye, Oliver.”

It was the last thing Felicity said, her voice raspy and barely audible, before she turned around and left. Oliver looked after her, and he couldn’t stop himself from letting his tongue swipe over his lips again. Her taste there was already gone though.

Oliver still had troubles processing what had just happened. Too much had happened in the last half and hour or such since he had left his office to meet another interested girl. He hadn’t been prepared for any of it and it just confused him.

When Carrie stepped closer to him, Oliver muscles tensed slightly. He was still looking at the door where Felicity had just disappeared. Though he couldn’t see her anymore, it was almost like he could still feel her here.

“You make a really nice couple,” Carrie said a little sourly. “I have to say that.”

In the past, Oliver had always denied that he and Felicity could ever be anything more than friends. Even now he felt the urge to make clear that he and Felicity were just friends. He knew he couldn’t do so now though, not if he wanted to keep Carrie away from him.

Clearing his throat, Oliver finally turned his gaze away from the door. He looked at Carrie only briefly before he turned to the hallway that led to his office.

“Thank you,” he said between clenched jaws. “I have some work to do. See you.”

With that, he disappeared into his office. Closing the door behind himself, he leaned back against it and closed his eyes for a moment. He thought back to the kiss and all the ways it had made him feel.

A chuckle rose inside of his throat soon though. Shaking his head, he rubbed his hands over his face and went behind his desk. He guessed he really needed John to come back, so they could train together again. His head was always going crazy when it was too busy and got too little compensation.

He and Felicity had been friends since they were kids. No faked kiss and no whatever would change anything about that. 

* * *

Next Wednesday, I am going on my first solo-trip. I'll stay in Spain for one week, all by myself in a nice hotel at the beach of Jandía Playa in Fuerteventura. I will probably take my laptop with me, hoping to find my muse when I am drinking Mojitos while I am watching the sunset. My muse really tries to hide from me lately.

Anyway, what I am really trying to say is this: Because of my vacation, I won't be able to update the next two Wednesdays. Fear not, my friends! I won't hold back the updates for too long. I will just shift the posting a little. Here are the release dates for the next three chapters:

9   - 07/16/2019 (Tuesday) 10 - 07/25/2019 (Thursday) 11 - 07/31/2019 (Wednesday)

* * *

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[constable-blythe]

Pipe Smoke (And Seawater)

Maldwyn settled into the chair outside the tiny cottage she called home, and hefted the small cup of tobacco in her hand, pinching the leaves from it and lightly tapping them into the whalebone-pipe. 

It helped her think, especially when she was pondering over more onerous cases, much like the one she was on now.

A woman had been murdered, the husband was away at sea, but no one could recall any lovers or had seen her with any men of any type… Which took away the jealous affair theory. Or so her two fellow constables insisted. They were now convinced it was a robbery, which was all well and good, except nothing had been stolen. 

Maldywn struck the match, lighting the leaves and sliding the stem into her mouth. She held the bowl in her hand, pulling her bicorne low over her eyes, as she began to think. 

First inhale, the smoke heavy on her tongue. 

A woman had been murdered in her home. Eleanor Whisby. No children. Newly married. Married at fairly late age, actually, to a confirmed bachelor…Odd. But not unheard of. Hell, Mal was heading into permanent bachelorette territory by many Kul Tiran’s reckoning....

Exhale. 

The death had been violent, her skull had been cracked open on her wooden floors, her own iron skillet had been used for the act, and was conveniently close by. 

Inhale. 

But there was no passion to be found. She ran a knitting circle among other navy wives, who were notoriously nosy, and said that the only soul she talked to outside of them was her best friend… 

Exhale. 

…That she’d known since childhood. A stern woman by the name of Isabelle. It had, been in fact, Isabelle who had found the body, a few hours after the death had occurred, crying and babbling incoherently to the Constables…

Inhale - Seawater. Maldywn was pulled out of her thoughts and coughed violently, hacking as the once smoking pipe filled her airway with the familiar salt of sea water. “Oh, you blasted - Tide-cursed -“ Maldywn snarled, still coughing, as she withdrew the pipe from her mouth. Still coughing, she tipped it over, and out poured what must have been a full cup of salt water. “Can’t you let me smoke in peace!?” She snapped at the white-bone of the pipe. Predictably, there was no response. “I’m just trying to solve this case, and you just have to shove water down my throat. Everyone else thinks that this was a random killing, a robbery, and it couldn’t have been, it was too personal - a woman with no enemies, no lovers, skull cracked open via a frying pan in the kitchen, with only her best friend to find…her…”

Maldywn held the pipe limply in her hand. “Oh.” She said, staring at the puddle at her feet. “…a confirmed old-maid married to a confirmed bachelor, both with close friends of the same sex…” Mal snorted then, brows furrowed. “Ah, yes, this will go over beautifully with the other constables.” 

She stood, affixing her hat, and shaking the pipe in the air. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” She growled at it. Again, no response, as she slid the pipe back into the inner pocket of her cloak. It was time to find Isabelle.

---

Maldwyn paused outside of Isabelle’s door, before raising her hand to knock. The door immediately rattled open, as if the occupant had been waiting for such a knock. The Detective Constable quirked an eyebrow. 

“Isabelle Bristol?”

She was at least three inches taller than Mal, which was saying something, as Mal was a neat 7′4. The woman shoved her hands into the pockets of her apron, and grumbled, “Yes Ma’am?”

Mal paused, glancing around her. She could see the curious eyes of their fellow townspeople, and cleared her throat. “Detective Constable Blythe. May I come in?”

Isabelle exhaled, before stepping back, holding the door open. Mal stepped into the door, seeing the small, comfortable house before her. A cat jumped up on the nearby chair, meowing, and Isabelle scooped it up. “Ye want some tea, Constable?” 

Maldywn shook her head. “I’m afraid not.” She pondered how to broach the subject, when Isabelle spoke up.

“I was suprised not ta see ya earlier. I know that this is the sort of work ye do, no’ the patrollin’ and stoppin’ bar fights n’ all tha’ that the other two do.” 

“Unfortunately, I was dealing with a break in at the time.”

Isabelle nodded, and Maldywn noticed her hands were shaking as she pet the cat. 

“So, did you love her?”

Isabelle started so violently she almost dropped the beloved creature. Mal didn’t move.

“Eleanor Whisby. Did you love her?”

Isabelle began to flush red. “Ma’am, she was my best friend since we were wee lasses, course I loved her-”

Maldywn itched to light her pipe. She settled instead for pulling on her Bicorne. “I don’t mean in that way, Miss Bristol. I mean on a more..familiar level.”

Isabelle was struck speechless, and Mal hastened to add, “I know some people take issue with that sort of thing, but I never cared one whit. None of my business usually, but this time it’s rather important.”

“And why is it important, Constable?” Isabelle’s voice was tight, her mouth in a thin line. 

Maldwyn cocked her head. “Why do you think it’s important, Isabelle? I don’t ask useless questions.”

Isabelle was shaking now, but this time, it seemed to be with rage. “I reported her death, dinnit I, Blythe!” The woman hissed. 

Mal fiddled with her cloak now, the thick fur on the inside rather vital for staying so warm up north. “Well, that doesn’t mean much of anything you know. They once caught a man who favored slaughtering women in the streets of Boralus because he was always the one to report the bodies.”

Isabelle opened her mouth, then closed it. “So..so yer suggestin’ I loved her in a ‘familiar way’ and then killed her for it.”

“To be honest, I don’t entirely understand what you killed her for. She’d been married for a year - to another part of a pair, male this time, a Captain and his First Mate who needed a cover, much like you two did, I suspect. It seems like something that would have been agreed up on by the four of you, simple, straight to the point. So, what happened? Did she get sick of you? Did she fall in love with some other woman in the knitting circle? Did she actually begin to love her husband and betray you? Did you hate her? Did you beat her head in with the skillet for revenge? I mean, blast it, you’re strong enough, all it’d take is one, good blow, watch her bleed all over her own wooden floors-”

Isabelle turned brighter and brighter red before she burst out, “It wasn’t like tha’!” 

A long, long pause, as the woman stopped glaring enough to blanch, rapidly losing the color she’d just gained as she realized what she’d just said. 

Maldwyn slid her hands into her inner cloak pockets. “Well, then, Isabelle, why don’t you tell me what it was like?”

Isabelle trembled. “I...I...I...”

“Because you just admitted to murder, I believe.” Technically, she hadn’t, ‘it wasn’t like that’ could be interpreted a variety of ways, but as long as Isabelle thought she had...

“It wasn’t murder!”

“Then what was it?” Maldywn carefully kept her expression impassive.

“It was a bleedin’ accident, damn you!”

Maldywn blinked. “What?”

Isabelle began to cry now, the large woman’s eyes filling with tears. “Yer right, ye wee bitch. We’d been a pair ever since we were sixteen, but ‘s not like ya could get married up here. Blasted place, they’d call us witches, ye know?”

Maldywn nodded. “Burning at the stake isn’t exactly the nicest way to go.”

Isabelle snorted at that. “Yer tellin’ me...” She sniffed. “So..so we just, kept bein’ friends and all tha’...but people were gettin’ suspicious. Ellie got asked some right rude questions, probin’, and we realized one of us needed ta get married. Ellie went and found the Captain from the next town over, and we arranged it all...it was goin’ so well.” 

Maldwyn frowned. “What happened, then?”

Isabelle was full on sobbing now. “S-she called me in t-to tell me...th-that she didn’t want us to be together no more! And I asked her why and she said...she said she found some other woman!”

Maldywn paused. “So you took up the skillet and hit her with it?”

“N-NO!” Isabelle howled at the top of her lungs, hands clenched into fists in her skirts, as she continued to sob. “I was cookin’ at the t-time and I th-threw it in a rage, and wee little Ellie, she wasn’t supposed ta be in the w-wayyy....” The large woman collapsed then, falling into a heap on the floor, a bundle of skirts and tears.

Maldwyn stared. “Wait, are you telling me it was an accident?”

“I thought she was on the other side of the k-kitchen! Ach, E-Ellie, I’m so sorry, I’m sooo bleedin’ sorry..” 

Maldwyn paused, processing the information, before reaching into her pocket and pulling out her pipe. She glanced into it. It’d been refilled with seawater since she’d last dumped it, which would account for why the left inside pocket of her cloak was uncomfortably damp. She slid it into her mouth and crouched, staring Isabelle in the eyes.

“It was an accident?”

Inhale Seawater. Try not to choke.

“Y-yes!”

Mal reached out, to that small, instinctual part of her she tried to keep buried.

Lying? She asked the sea in her throat.

No. Said the sea.

Shite. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

Isabelle bawled harder, if that were possible. “A-and explain why I was so angry in the first place? Th-they’d have burned me at the s-stake!”

“I won’t let them.”

Isabelle stared at her, eyes blurred with tears. “Y-ye won’t?”

“You still killed her, but living with that knowledge for the rest of your life and some time in a cell will account for that mistake. No need for any burnings to happen today.” Maldywn’s voice was gruff, partly due to the inner awkwardness from dealing with any tears, partly do to the fact that seawater was a right bitch to swallow. 

Isabelle, much to Maldywn’s surprised, flung her arms about the Constable’s shoulders and continued to sob, leaving Maldywn to awkwardly pat the woman on the back. 

Why couldn’t her cases ever be bloody simple? 

[lystravess]

Just how far will guilt take you?

   "Are you going to go talk to her?" Cassian asked, not looking up from honing his dagger.    Darvain clenched his hand tighter, still glaring at the table. He didn't want to go talk to her but he felt as if he had to. It would have been better if she had stayed dead like he thought she was. Lystra coming back, especially the way she was now, was only adding fuel to the fire in his stomach. It was cementing the idea that he was going to kill his brother if it was the last thing he did in this damned life. He wanted Cassia, wanted to hear her laughing as Fenrir chased her around the guild hall, or feel her warmth as she jumped onto his back to ask about his last mission. But he wasn't going to ever hear that again. And now he had another person to add to the blame of that. The last person he had ever thought would kill a little girl...*Dammit Lystra.*    "You should. It might help us find Enoch. Or at least some information about him." Cassian continued when Darvain didn't speak.    "I know." Darvain hissed, sounding more then a little annoyed. "I just...We grew up together. That's not the Lystra I grew up with." he continued, pinching the bridge of his nose. all of this was giving him a headache.    "She spent how many years with your brother? I would have been surprised if she didn't change the way she had. If what he did to Ca-"Ailis stopped herself from saying the rest f the name, biting er lip. "What he did to *her* is any indication into what he can do. Can you really blame what she has become?'    Darvain knew the Arachnide was right, but he couldn't help the fire that burned through his veins. He had never felt this amount of rage in his life. Anger yes, annoyance yes. But rage? This wasn't something he was used to and it was going to end up burning him from the inside. Until he could rip his older brother to shred. He wanted to feel his claws dig into Enoch's chest and rip out his still beating heart.    "Calm your temper Dar, you're scaring the other children." Ailis warned, eyes the way the shadows around the room had deepened into a blackness far deeper then it should have been.    Darvain closed his eyes and took in a slow breath, counting backwards from ten as he did so. He had to get a grip on himself. He was Noxen. They were above this. *Calm, relax. Sink into the coid.* he told himself as he exhaled just as slowly.    I'm going to go talk to her." he decided, pushing back from the table. "Being around the others isn't a good idea for me right now."    Neither of his partners spoke, only stood and followed him towards the Master's office. Lystra was where they had left her, chained in a cell with her arms over her head, her toes barely touching the ground. She looked so much different from when they were kids, and not only because twenty years had past. The brightness in her was no longer there, replaced by the same kind of darkness that filled Darvain. For a half Noxen she was more human then others, with round ears and normal teeth that only held the slightest hint of the fangs that filled his own mouth. Her nails were sharp and curled a bit more the a humans, narrowing into point naturally. But other then that she had once been able to pass as human. The was gone now. Her eyes had darkened, not quite to the coal black of a Noxen but an ash gray with pink irises. It didn't fit her.    The scars that covered her body were extensive, not leaving much of her skin as flat and smooth as it had been. Burns etched through her scars in an intricate pattern that only a sadist would find beautiful. It made Darvain want to snarl. His brother's cruelty was marked not only in his memory but all over her body.    "I was wondering when you would come to see me. Took you longer then I thought it would considering the brat's death." Lystra croaked out, her voice rough from thirst. No one had seen fit enough to come in and feed her yet.    "Cassia." Darvain hissed. "He name was Cassia."    Lystra laughed ruefully. "You think I care Vee? She's dead, a rotting corpse in the ground to become meal for the worms."    He tensed at the ice in her tone but shook it off. He could deal with this. This wouldn't get his temper to flare. She had only been following orders. He had to remember that. He pulled one of the chairs towards him and turned it so he was facing her as he sat. "That doesn't sound like you Lys." he nearly pleaded, using his nickname for her so long ago. It felt odd on his tongue. This wasn't Lys. This was whatever Enoch had made her into.    Where is my brother?" he asked simply, keeping his voice even.    Lystra looked at him for a moment before shaking her head. "He knows I was caught. He wont be where he was the last time. You know how he is. You wont be able to find him until the stage is set for him to kill you."    "Ailis hissed behind Darvain, her legs clicking together behind her back. "You are foolish girl if you think he would be able to."    "Ailis" Darvain warned, asking her more then actually telling her to be silent. She acquiesced with a slight nod. He turned his attention back to the broken thing in front of him.  "I'm not ask weak as I was when we were children Lystra. What does he hope to fain from any of this?"    She shifted, pulling herself up by her hands a bit to reposition the shackled on her wrists. He could see the raw placed where she had tried to pull them off already. It wasn't surprising. Stygian Iron was painful to strong Noxen, for her it must have been excruciating. "You left Darvain. How else did you expect him to act. You left me alone with him for twenty years and he was angry. It just got worse and worse. He expected you to come home and you never did."    "That place was never my home." He corrected, baring his teeth at her. "It was a prison for us. Jarl made sure of that."    Enoch didn't think so. He thought everything was fine. Then you left and we never heard from you again."    "I gave you the chance to come with me. TO find people who would actually care about us and not what we could do for them."    "And leave Kyra with those two? Enoch killed her for helping you, what do you think he would have done to her if she had helped the both of us? He set our home on fire. I heard her screams! I felt the flames all because Enoch didn't want me to be free of my own part in it. I should have told them what you were planning so they could stop you."    Darvain stopped breathing for a moment.THe burns on Lystra. He had wondered why there were burn scars on her. Now he knew and his temper flared all the more for it. The shadows around the room darkened and elongated unnaturally. His skin began to take on a slightly blacker tone, darkening to an ash gray like her eyes. His claws dug into the wood of the chair, causing grooves..    "Sounds like a spoiled brat to me." Cassian commented, his even tone cutting through the haze of red in front of Darvain's eyes. He watched as the elf stepped closer to Lystra, right outside of her bars. "You're hurt because Darvain left, angry at him because you see him as the cause of your mother's death and the beginning of all of your hardships dealing with his brother.  And you took all of that out on an innocent little girl who loved him to make him feel a bit of that pain in return."    It wasn't a question, and Lystra didn't respond. She averted her eyes, looking down at the floor  She wouldn't look at the elf's holly berry eyes.    "And when you saw Darvain having the wear a collar of Stygian iron at the funeral to keep himself in control you realized just what kind of beast you had become and couldn't deal with it anymore. You hoped Darvain would kill you out right when he found out what you had done for Enoch. and now your are stuck here in chains because he still believes that little girl you used to be is in there somewhere and he wants his friend back. Because he can't lose another person close to him. Not after you took his Lumen from him."    That word made Lystra jump and look up at Darvain with wide eyes. "Lumen? You claimed her?" she asked, not believing it.    Darvain, who had started trembling when Cassian mentioned Cassia nodded, his hands clenched so hard he could feel his claws biting into the skin of his palms. "She was my light and you took her from me. Both of you. I want to kill Enoch. But I can't get the feeling of you crying into me when your father died out of my head to kill you. You aren't like him. You still have some of your humanity left. And you killed what was left of mine."    Darvain stood up and turned towards the door. "Its crueler to let you sit in here and know what exactly you took from me Lystra. That's why I'm letting you live. So your guilt can eat away at you until you can't take it."    The door shut behind him with a soft click, leaving her alone with the Arachnide and Elf.

Worked on this a bit last night and this morning. I had the idea a few days ago to add in a childhood friend that Darvain’s brother Enoch could torture to give it more then just Cassia being the his weak point. It turned into something more though I think. Because he could see just how much she had changed and he showed her just what she had taken from him. A Noxen’s Lumen is someone that they claim as a best friend, a lover (Not always), and a confidante. They are the one person that makes the darkness inside of them wither and brighten. Cassia was too young to be all of that to Darvain, but he stilled care for her deeply enough to want to keep her safe and inadvertently claimed her as such.

~L