#addiction isn't a joke jim

[envy-nyx]

"Pft I think I would know if I was addicted." The mother exclaimed, looking back down to her phone, playing stage 857 of candy crush as they began walking into incoming traffic

[bruciemilf]

On the ratatouille au, instead of remy and Emile it’s the Gotham’s street rats gang composed by Jason, Stephanie and baby Duke

The health inspector scene play oust with Stephanie and Duke tying lex secretary to a wall while Jason steals documents that prove that hey actually, half of the Justice league’s technology is Superman’s because it’s fucking krypton technology

PLEASE. YES!

Also, I'm not immune to a very very soft cooking montage between Bruce and his kiddos.

Alfred away with business, trying to find the poisonous root in Metropolis with Jim Gordon by himself, while Bruce has the world on his shoulders.

''B," Jason rocks a little, tugging at his hair, and even through a blindfold, Bruce can FEEL his sweetheart, --not his. He's got no idea where Jason's blood is, if it's even noticed he's gone, or looking for him frantically, -- roll his eyes. " Billionaires waste enough without murdering 5 tomatoes."

"He's cheating."

" How am I cheating, Steph?"

" Dunno. You just are."

" Jason do NOT make B slice onions blindfolded. I'll leave you at a police station and I'm not joking this time,"

" What are they gonna do, Duke? 'Blue Lives Matter' me to death?"

Laughter tastes strange and alien on his tongue, like a foreign flavor coming together in a rich, addicting taste. It's melting soft in his mouth like it did when he was 8, and his parents weren't memories.

Bruce is happy.

A gentle knock on their studio window, -- gracefully offered by Lena, Lex's much more charitable sister, -- screeches them out of their idyllic moment.

It's not bad; Seeing Clark through glass, wondering if even that meaningless little action takes restraint. It doesn't feel bad. " I didn't know you had kids."

" They're not my,--"

" He's not our,--"

" Anyway. I just wanted to say...Thanks. For saving me out there," His eyebrows are pinched in a frown, as thought he's saying that for the first time. It's a bit cute. " Huh. Feels weird being the one saying it. Guess that's why people stopped."

Bruce isn't sure what to say to that. But he knows what he wants to say. " Would you like to stay for dinner?"

Jason tugs harder, " Bruce!"

Clark squints, a smirk playing on his lips, "You know what? I'd love to stay. I'll just have to grab my boy. Kon likes tomato pasta."

Bruce looks at his pan. They're supposed to make pancakes.

[queermania]

So I just read a post canon fix it fic that I'm struggling with. The concept was Dean is still alive and rescues Cas from the Empty because he's in love with him too then instead of getting together Dean decides he needs to get his act together so he goes to AA and AA has a rule that you can't date anyone for the first year. So Dean goes through all of this while living with Cas and basically stringing Cas along or I guess not stringing him along because it does lead to them getting together at the end of the year so I guess my problem is just that I don't understand why he would need to wait a year to be with the guy he loves. It's almost infantalizing like poor Dean can't be trusted to make a decision about who he loves because he's an alcoholic. Alcoholics and addicts aren't children who can't be trusted with feelings. Sorry I just got really mad. Lol.

i've been sitting on this for awhile because this is a complex issue and when it comes to dean winchester specifically, i think any conversation about his relationship with alcohol necessitates a discussion about what constitutes addiction, what constitutes being an addict, what constitutes recovery, what constitutes sobriety, etc. and that's not really a discussion i'm equipped to have on tumblr dot com.

but i will say that i've seen push back on the one year rule floating around tumblr and other social media sites for years now. there seems to be this misconception that the rule is a sort of extension of the idea of "if you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to" and from that perspective, i get the push back. but that's not why the rule exists. it's not even a rule. it's a guideline, and it exists to protect people in recovery, not coddle or infantilize them, or strip them of their independence.

people who are suddenly sober after months or years of using are vulnerable–emotionally, mentally, and physically. their brain chemistry is literally different. they're in a position they haven't been in for a long time (if ever) and it's very common for people recovering to try to sublimate their addiction with attention from another person. it's kind of like a smoker who is trying to quit and ends up snarfing down chocolate. anything to staunch the craving.

obviously sublimating drugs with romance or sex isn't good, but the real issue is that it leaves already-vulnerable people perfectly positioned to be taken advantage of. and this isn't me trying to psychoanalyze a situation. it's a known phenomenon in recovery communities—that predators go after recovering addicts in the early stages of their recovery—to the point that it's a "joke." people (typically men but not always) who are farther along in their recovery prey on the newbies. out here the joke is that they're 13th steppers (like they've completed the full 12 steps and the next one is to take advantage of someone who is just starting out). "watch out for jim. he's a 13th stepper." i'm sure the terminology varies from place to place but the fact that it's a long-standing "joke" in the community says a lot.

but anyway, that's the point. it's not that addicts aren't equipped for love or whatever. it's that when you're that early in your recovery, you're vulnerable. your self-esteem is at an all-time low. you have no experience with setting and maintaining boundaries. you're most likely isolated (or at least alienated) from your family and friends. you're lonely. you're overwhelmed with emotions. you'd do anything for someone to love you and be proud of you, and if you can't get that, negative attention is still attention.

and those are problems even if someone has the best intentions. it's very easy to fall into patterns that are bad for everybody.

now i have no idea if this is what's happening in the fic. i haven't read it. i don't even know what fic you're talking about. personally, i have complex feelings about dean and his relationship to alcohol (and "recovery"). i also have very complicated feelings about the traditional ideas of addiction and sobriety in general. but i felt compelled to defend the one year rule at least a little bit. i'm not saying it's a perfect rule and should be followed to the letter, but it exists for a reason and that reason is a good one.