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#adding letters in excel
freeexceldownloads · 2 years
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Promotion Letter Generator
Download free excel template for generating promotion letters for employees and workers. This template is useful for generating a vertical, horizontal and dry promotion letter in just a few minutes for n number of employees and workers. Fun fact : You will not be required to type all the letter again and again. All supporting text is ready to use. Just enter the key information that is variable…
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aurumacadicus · 1 year
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In before I start seeing people bitching about rainbow capitalism MY favorite rainbow capitalism story is about Subaru. Yes the Japanese car company.
In the nineties, they were struggling. They were competing with a dozen other companies targeting the main demographic at the time: white men ages 18-35, especially after a failed luxury car launch with a new ad agency. “What we need is to focus on niche demographics,” they decided, and then focused on people who enjoyed the outdoors. The Subaru was excellent at driving on dirt roads that many other vehicles couldn’t at the time, so it was perfect for all those off-road campers; they started making all-wheel drive standard in all their cars to help with that. And the people who wanted cars to go do outdoor stuff? Lesbians.
Okay. Of course it wasn’t only lesbians buying Subarus. They’re on the list with educators, health-care professionals, and IT people. But the point is, this Japanese car company interviewed this strange demographic (single, female head of household) and realized one important factor: They were lesbians. They liked to be able to use the cars to go do outdoorsy stuff, and they liked that they could use the cars to haul stuff rather than a big truck or van. Subaru had a choice to make then. They had four other demographics they could market to, after all--the educators, the health-care professionals, IT professionals, and straight outdoorsy couples. Their company didn’t hinge on this one “problematic” demographic.
And they decided “fuck it,” and marketed to lesbians anyway. This included offering benefits to American gay and lesbian employees for their domestic partners, so it didn’t look like a cash grab. (This was not a problem. They already offered those in Canada.)
Yes, there was some backlash. They got letters from a grassroots group accusing them of promoting homosexuality, and every letter said they’d no longer be buying from Subaru. “You didn’t buy from us before, either,” Subaru realized, and ignored them. It helped that the team really cared about the plan, and that they had many straight allies to back them up. There was also some initial backlash when Subaru hired women to play a lesbian couple in the commercial, but they quickly found that lesbians preferred more subtlety; “XENA LVR” on a license plate, or bumper stickers with the names of popular LGBTQ+ destinations, or taglines of “Get out. Stay out.” that could be used for the outdoors--or the closet.
Subaru said “We see you. We support you.” They sponsored Pride parades and partnered with Rainbow Card and hired Martina Navratilova as spokeswoman. They put their money where their mouth is and went into it whole hog. In a time where companies did not want to take our money, Subaru said, “Why not? They’re people who drive.” And that was groundbreaking.
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bonzos-number-1-fan · 5 months
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What DPHW Means, and Its Relationship to Smirke's 14
The following contains spoilers for all of TMA, TMP (eps 1, 2, and 3 released currently if you’re in the future), and the ARG. Spoilers for all of this are throughout so I would advise against reading any of this unless you've listened to everything mentioned. It could also spoil episodes of TMP that have yet to release but if it does I don't think it will be a major spoiler. If I'm right I think I'm only right about a fairly trivial piece of information. 
Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre
Part 1: Opticks
Smirke's 14 isn't the truth. With or without Dekker's +1. It is, however, necessary and correct. It has also been talked about ad nauseam and isn't a topic I want to dedicate a lot of time to. Smirke's 14+1, or even TMA in general, isn't the focus of this theory nor is it that relevant past its necessity as a point of comparison.
There aren't 14+1 distinct entities in the TMA cosmology. There is a singular entity that has been given divisions by fear and labels by those that have witnessed it. There is no objective line in which to draw these divisions. No matter where you put them or what you name them these concepts will always bleed into each other. Aspects of one Entity will manifest in another because the labels are invented and Fear is a storm of concepts crashing into each other. That's not a flaw in Smirke's list but its strength. A single entity of that scale is impossible to discuss in meaningful terms, the concept has too much gravity to be properly conceptualised and so an entire spectrum of fear must be divided in order to combat it. Categorisation is a vital part of TMA's cosmology and Smirke was as correct as anyone to put those lines down where he did. The real flaw with Smirke's list is forgetting the spectrum exists and stopping seeing the shades in between the Powers.
Finding a way to categorise this concept is important, but the methodology isn't. Smirke's 14 isn't the truth. The only truth is there is a singular whole. But branding goes a long way both in terms of research and in terms of following. This branding lacks accuracy though, it is in large part arbitrary and by its nature removes the shades and the bleed. TMP takes a different approach, one only hinted at, but one that I think is now fully explainable. 
Part 2: Lost in Translation
Perhaps the most interesting mystery in TMP thus far is DPHW. However, I think based on episodes 1 and 2 of TMP (and now 3), and the Klaus excel sheet from the ARG, we have all we need to explain its utility.
In order to show that conclusion in a satisfactory manner some basic facts need stating, and the order of my thoughts on those facts needs explaining. Firstly, each DPHW is 4 digits. Secondly, each DPHW is read as 4 numbers rather than, say, a pair of 2 numbers. Thirdly, these numbers can change independently of each other. Fourthly, incidents may share CAT#R#'s but have a different DHPW as found in the Klaus sheet (a German document listing OIAR-style incident reports). Finally, the German equivalent of DPHW is TSHU also found in the Klaus sheet. We can use those facts to determine something important. Each letter of this initialism is paired with a digit meaning that DHPW is a group of 4 categories. If that is true we can intuit some of its meaning. It is likely that these numbers are a rating of sorts for each category there. To prove that's the case we would need to know the categories and fortunately we have a starting point to understanding it, German.
If the categories that DPHW describes start with the letters TSHU in German then what needs to be done to find the categories is quite simple. You pair each letter up and then find a suitable word to categorise the supernatural whose first letter starts with the respective letter from the initialism in its language. D/T, P/S, H,H, W/U. After some brainstorming in the Statement Remains PLUS Discord server we had come up with strong candidates for 3 of the 4 pairs.
The first was Deadly/Tötlich, a seemingly solid start that gave this theory some legs. Next was Painful/Schmerzlich which was a distinct enough category for the threat of an incident that proved this was a strong direction to head it. H/H proved more troublesome. To my mind the two strongest contenders here were Hypnotic/Hypnotisch or Helpless/Hilflos. Both sound very reasonable but that in itself is a problem. However the last one was found relatively easily as Weird/Unheimlich. With 3 of the 4 it seemed like this was all but correct at this stage. However, I had been thinking about this backwards and it wasn't until I had a revelation that the pieces really fell into place.
Unheimlich sounded familiar when it was suggested but not in a way I could place. It wasn't until the next day that the aforementioned revelation happened. The ARG had a huge focus on Germany, and Ep 1 of TMP revealed why. FR3-D1 uses German source code which makes German the original language for the OIAR's methodology. Meaning DPHW is the translation, and I now think it's a shoddy one at best. The reason unheimlich sounded so familiar to me is because it's a fairly important part of psychology's history.
DPHW's Weird isn't weird, DPHW's Weird is uncanny. A direct translation could give you weird but a more accurate one, especially in this instance, gives you unheimlich. Unheimlich as in Jentsch's "Zur Psychologie des Unheimlichen", and Freud's "Das Unheimlich". Both of which are essays on the uncanny. It's all about the fear of the unfamiliar, and a central example of this is Olympia from Der Sandmann, a seemingly living doll.
The German word unheimlich is obviously the opposite of heimlich, heimisch, meaning “familiar,” “native,” “belonging to the home”; and we are tempted to conclude that what is “uncanny” is frightening precisely because it is not known and familiar... - Freud, The Uncanny
This is incredibly relevant to a lot of what has been discovered so far. The uncanny as a topic in psychology was kickstarted by two Germans, and a central part of their essays was the German Der Sandmann, and a German, SSandman, was a large presence in the ARG. The strength of this connection all but solidified this theory in my mind. And, briefly, this is also related to Masahiro Mori's uncanny valley hypothesis which I'm sure I won't need to explain.
The obvious way to test this is to take the few W ratings we have been given and compare them to the incident to which they're assigned. The first is from Ep 1, “dolls comma watching”, and was given a 7. This is a good start both in that a 7 feels appropriate as an "uncanny rank" but also that a doll is a focal point on the essays on the subject. Also in Ep 1 is "Reanimation (Partial)", again with a 7. Another very appropriate number. The last in Ep 1 is "Transformation (eyes)" with a 5. Certainly less uncanny than the previous examples so this is still strong. In Ep 2 we get a 5 for Bram Stoker's Dracula, which seems more than fair for a strange man like him, and a 7 for Frankenstein which gives parity for another story of the resurrected dead. Finally we get "Transformation (full)" at a 7, more uncanny than "Transformation (eyes)" which tracks nicely.
With what I felt was such a strong theory for the W/U pairing it helped clarify the ideas of the others. The final digit rating the uncanniness of an incident gives an idea of how these categories work and the breadth of their definitions. Up until this point I was leaning towards Hypnotic/Hypnotisch for our H/H pairing. But giving it more thought, and comparing it to TMA's own groupings, it becomes apparent that Helpless/Hilflos is more appropriate. Hypnotic effects are too aligned with things that would already be very aligned with Uncanny ones, the Stranger's Not!Them alter memories and prey on the fear of something being not quite right, so as a categorisation tool I think it makes less sense because of the greater overlap. Helpless on the other hand works better for things like The Dark, The Buried, or The Lonely. Aspects which I don't think show up in our current other 3 groups. But given the current definition of the strongest category, the fear of the uncanny, I think that helplessness is a more apt label. The fear of helplessness. Which makes H Helplessness/Hilflosigkeit.
With this level of breadth established re-examination of the final two categories is warranted. Painful/Schmerzlich is more likely to be Pain/Schmerz. Not just incidents that are themselves painful but the fear of pain, possibly including the emotional. A comparison to TMA gives this rating a strong affiliation with Entities such as The Desolation, The Corruption, or the Flesh. Similarly Deadly/Tötlich should now be broadened beyond the fear of things that will kill you, to the fear of death in a broader sense. Which makes D/T Death/Tod instead. To compare again to TMA this is The End, The Extinction, or The Slaughter. Although, while I might be describing these ideas as the fear of ____ I think it's important to know that they do appear to be more conceptual in nature rather than just if something is scary or not.
Comparing each of these assumed categories against current DPHW’s strengthens this argument. “Dolls, watching” scored 1157. It’s a very low fear of death and pain, but they present a medium fear of helplessness and a high fear of the weird. For a fear that’s rooted in paranoia that makes good sense. “Reanimation (Partial)” got a very similar rating, at 5257, but it being a corpse cranks up its fear of death. “Transformation (eyes)” got 2155 which, again, seems to fall in place with what we know. It’s more human than the doll is so it’s less weird but a physical and alarming transformation naturally seems like more of a terminal concern. Combine that with some good ol' internet death threats and it's not nothing, but not much.
As a small aside, while it's not come up in the episodes so far the Klaus sheet shows DPHW's are 0-9. There is a good bit of evidence to suggest 0 might be read as 10 here. 0 most commonly showed up in that sheet for P and the incidents often had the notes "Kriegsvolk". Literally "war people" but more accurately "army/soldier". So pain of 10 for those would track better than P of 0, and it explains why things like the watching doll rate a 1 for D and P instead of a 0, and Dr. Webber's infection is a P of 1 despite entirely removing physical and emotional pain as it goes. Because 1 is the lowest.
For Ep 2 we start with Dracula scoring a 7465, he’s undead and a killer for high death, if he kills you it hurts but it’s not extreme, he’s both hard to physically stop and has mental tricks, and he’s just a weird dude in general who always seems off somehow. Frankenstein at 5337 has aforementioned parity with the reanimation incident as you’d expect but notably less on the helplessness rating as he is just a man. Next is “Transformation (full)” at 1567. This is generally a more severe rating overall than Transformation (eyes) and you’d expect that, but I think it does show something interesting. At no point did Daria want to end her own life. The transformation is far more severe, arguably looks more life threatening, and was clearly more painful but it is explicitly and repeatedly not about dying. I take that as a suggestion that these ratings take into account more than just the mundanely observable nature of the incident. She looks very sick which would make you think of death but it rates low for it because of the emotional, or maybe supernatural, purpose of the incident. She didn’t want to die, the manifestation didn’t try to kill her, and so despite its appearance it’s low on death.
Then finally in Ep 3, we have "Infection (full body)" with a 8175. (Although I'm assuming that's a misfile and it should be Infection (Arboreal)). I think D and H here are more interesting to dig into. P is pretty obvious it's the lowest rating because it seemed actively pain-numbing as it went. W being 5 tracks too is certainly uncanny and has strange geometry but it's not full Distortion levels. So with those two out of the way we can get to the good stuff. D is the most interesting of the two to me. Because while it's pretty clear he died I don't think that's got much to do with it. Rather I think the 8 is more specifically about the way it deals with death, decay, and rot in relation to new life and the growth of other things, plants and insects. Thematically, I think there is a lot more emphasis on death as a broader concept beyond the terminal nature of the infection. For Helplessness there is also an additional element beyond whether or not he was able to do something about the infection, and that's whether he wanted to. As the symptoms worsened his desire to treat them decreased. Initially he was worried about the infection and determined to seek attention when able, then he was happy to let someone else help instead (a hallucination, which makes things more helpless), before finally wanting it to happen. These sorts of elements are things I think we're going to see factor in quite a lot.
In summary; it is my belief that DPHW is a way to rate incidents that the OIAR catalogue based upon the strength of the fear they elicit in the categories of death, pain, helplessness, and weird (uncanny). This system is effectively the TMP equivalent to Smirke's 14 from TMA. Rather than assigning each statement to an Entity each incident is rated for those qualities. These systems are distinct methodologies but each is a way to categorise the supernatural.  
Part 3: On Analogy
That is the juicy bit of this post out of the way so now I have to put a bow on it and touch upon the overarching analogy here. As alluded to by the title and some turns of phrase, it's colour theory. It's a somewhat common analogy for TMA's fears but I think it applies in equal measure to TMP and taken together might provide an insight into how the cosmologies will differ. So, to me, colour theory is not only the perfect lens in which to view the Fears as a whole, it's the perfect lens to view these methodologies.
Smirke is Newton. He broke up a singular spectrum into wide chunks. The Dread Powers themselves are very analogous to a colour wheel. Colours bleed into each other and the boundaries of where one stops and starts is up for debate but red is still red, and blue is blue. That is a useful context for them, it aids discussion. Try talking about red without ever saying red and only referring to a representation of a divided whole. But all too similar to Newton's 7 colours Smirke's 14 lacks nuance, it lacks shade.
On the other hand we have DPHW and this is all shade. DPHW is CMYK. It's not one thing or another with DPHW. You don't have the pitfall of Smirke's methodology where one manifestation is in one arbitrary box. Here, assuming I'm correct, each incident is made up of constituent parts. The OIAR, and presumably its German forebear, are less interested in Smirke's occult ancient gods and more interested in bureaucratic precision. Smirke was doing research while the OIAR are doing administration. As such DPHW takes a wholly different approach. It's now all shades. This has its own problems in that it's harder to discuss in broad terms. It's such a specific methodology that it's lost a lot of what Smirke triumphed with. This is well represented already given that no one has been shown to know what it means at all yet. But if there is a truly different cosmology at play here we might see the axes of DPHW being where alliances fall.
All that leaves us with is a comparison of these two. The only way to really do that is to talk about how Smirke's 14+1 would fit in DPHW's system. This is something I touched upon briefly. Death is strongly related to The End, The Extinction, or The Slaughter. Pain to The Desolation, The Corruption, or the Flesh. Helplessness to The Dark, The Buried, or The Lonely. Weird to the Stranger, or the Spiral. But that's not all of them and even within those it's already clear that something like The Vast isn't just about helplessness, and we've already seen Daria who would likely be an avatar of the Flesh rank highly in Weird. Which hits upon what I feel is the most interesting aspect of this entire theory. We've seen what happens with Smirke's boundaries on the Entities. We don't know if Entities even exist in this setting, or if they do exist whether they'll be the same ones, or even if they're not the same ones whether they'll function under similar rules. But now we get to see what happens when there aren't those boundaries. We get to see much broader mingling than TMA showcased. It was hinted at there, especially early on before the lore really settled, but now that mingling seems to be the whole point.
And as a brief mention, and to further labour the theme, I don’t think there is enough information to really discuss how CAT#R# works but there are some analogies to work with here. From the Klaus sheet we can infer that CAT# has the following values 1/2/3/12/13/23/123. Or three non-mutually exclusive groups. What those groups are is hard to say right now. There is some soul/body/spirit stuff for the alchemic tria prima that's got some nice connections but doesn't map well now that Ep 3 is out. Either way, this is RGB. An incident can be all red, or red and blue, etc. R#'s values we can infer to be C/BC/B/AB/A/S with maybe an AS in there too. That's a linear scale of similarly unknown value but could represent something like potency/threat. If that is the case then R# is saturation. Some things are more intense than others. We also know from the Klaus sheet that CAT is the German from the "kategorie" meaning "category" the R was from the German “rang” meaning “rank” and so probably has more meaning to it than currently implied.
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hidden-poet · 5 months
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Commander Snow
Summary; Under the advice of Dr Gaul Coriolanus returns back to district 12 where without blinding light of lucy-grey he could see you.
Warnings; dead dove to do not eat, stalking, unrequited love, breeding kink, violence, possessive!Snow, unco/dubco, sexual content, she/her pronouns.
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Chapter 2
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The next day you move yourself and your mother to a friends house. Where you both sleep on the floor in the living room. It costs you half a panem a night but it was still a better living arrangement then laying awake until the yearly hours of the morning wondering if a peacekeeper would knock down your door.
You keep your head down. Going straight from work to the house. It seemed to pay off. Your neighbor had reported that the parcels had stopped after a peacekeeper had noticed it was the community and not the intended taking it.
You don't hear from Commander Snow. There was no summons or arrest order made for you.
It leads you to relax bit. He had probably moved on to another after realizing that you would not sell yourself for a pardon and a weekly box of food. You knew many others would, and you wished them the best of luck with their endeavor with Commander Snow. But your nature pushed away such opportunities. You couldn't even tell him you weren't interested to his face. Fear only played a part in that decision.
It was late now as you walked home from you job. Later then usual as your boss had offered you overtime to clean and organize the cold room. You gladly accepted with the added cost of your stay at your friends house.
Four shiny coins had been placed in your hand before you had even done the job. You couldn't believe she was willing to pay this much for such a simple job. You wondered if it was repayment for all your years of hard work for her.
You were never late, always made sure your jobs were done to a standard of excellence, you even stayed back to help train the new people.
All your hard work was finally being rewarded. You made sure to leave the space the best it had ever been.
The money was at least a month's work.
You hadn't written to your brother in so long due to the cost of the paper and shipping fees but now with your extra cash you could reach out.
You make the journey to the stationary store, getting in just before close and go around the back of the building. Using the flat wall as a writing pad.
Your brother had gone to district 8 after influenza swept through killing half their work force. They had asked for volunteers to relocate. Many young men offered. The pay was higher in district 8 as the Capital had a great need for the fabrics and manufacture that it produced. Your brother was picked being effortlessly strong and healthy.
The day he left was the worst day of your life. You miss him terribly, only communicating through letters which were expensive and took ages to find its way to its destination.
You tell him how much you miss him, and worry about him over at district 8. That your mother is well, and prays for him every night before bed. You thank him for the money he sends when he can. Telling him of your own good fortune with the coins, and how he was to spend his half on a cold drink if he could get one, and a night out on the town.
Your pen stills as your thoughts turn to Commander Snow. Should you tell your brother of the strange officer. He was always protective. Would he try and come back to district 12 for you. would they even let him.
You decide not to. It would only worry him, and in his worry he would make rash decisions. You would not be responisble for his harm.
Instead you reiterate how much you miss him, and warn him to write back soon.
You drop two of the coins and the pencil back into the envelope, sealing it shut and stuffing it in your pocket. It was too late to ship it off. You would have to wait until tomorrow.
You felt scared walking back to the house with the money as if people could sense it in your pocket.
You remind yourself your being silly as you walk through the road dividing the streets. There was no one else out at this time. Only you, and you were nearly to the safety of the house.
There was no street lamps in the districts. The only light coming from the houses you pass. You try to remain in the light but sway slightly into the shadows as you reach the steps of your accommodation.
You scream as you feel hands upon your skin. One going around your mouth to quiet you and the other pulling you back against the house.
"Sh sh, Its just me. It's just me. You're safe".
You feel your kness tremble as you pin the voice to a face. Commander snow stood before you, using his body to press you up against the side of the house. His chest pushed against your shoulders, his leg pushed between yours and melded to the wall behind. He kept his left hand on your right shoulder to keep you still and only removed his right hand from your mouth when you went mute. Who would you scream for that could do anything any way.
With his body pressed against yours in such a tight manner, he had free use of his hands.
You weren't getting out from under him, even you realized that. You looked for guns or knife on him but found nothing in the light the moon and surrounding houses offered. He didn't wear his official Capital issued Commander uniform. Instead he dressed down in high waisted black pants, and a long sleeved cotton shirt. He still wore his dog tags and army boots.
'So this is were you've been hiding, hm?". He ran his knuckles along your cheek bone, and you shuddered from his touch.
"No, Sir".
"yes, Sir. I left boxes at your house like a fool".
You could tell he was upset with you.
"It's fine. You'll be back there tomorrow to take the food in. Did you go through my first box i sent?"
You nod your head and a smile appears on his lips.
'What did you have first?". He pushes back a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
"My mother had a apple" You torn it from her after her first bite.
"i asked what you had first". He pressed his body harder against you.
"We haven't touched the box otherwise, Sir. We can give it back to you. We can compensate for the veggies and the fru-"
He was not happy with your answer, cutting you off.
"Ungrateful brat".
"Sir, we never asked you for it and we don't have money to pay for it"
"You're welcome" his pointer runs along your nose, "I can't have my partner in crime going hungry. Now can I".
You shiver from the familiar way of speaking. You did not want the Commander of district 12 to have a nic-name for you.
"I ought to go inside. They are waiting for me".
You try and move away, thinking he would release you. His cover would be blown if they take to looking for you.
He does not, choosing to place his hands around your neck. Not showcasing his great strength but resting in warning. His thumbs press gently into your throat.
"i think they can wait a few more minutes. Don't you?".
You nod as much as his hold would allow you to. You felt as if he was all around you. With his body wedging you flat against the wall, you felt as if you were sharing the same breath.
"you're ok" He repeats, "i am not going to hurt you".
"Perhaps it would put me at ease if you stepped back a bit, sir"
He shakes his head, "You have a habit of running away".
"You have a habit of appearing out of no where".
You can see him grin under the dim light. That was intentional, He always wanted you to feel as if he was always watching and could turn up at any moment.
"Can you make me some more of those oat bars?"
"Ye-yes" you stutter.
"Do you have the ingredients?"
"yes" you repeat.
"Good. Bring them to my office the day after next".
"Yes, Sir. Can I go now?"
"I haven't seen you for nearly two weeks and you're so quick to run away?"
"'Sir, please I Have to get inside". away from you.
"Why were you so late getting home?" he ignored your plea completely.
His thumbs circles on your throat.
"I had to work back" you admit.
"And then?". He already knew that wasn't the full story so you confess you brought some paper and took some time to write a letter.
"A letter?" he asks, "A letter to who?".
"My brother. He went to district 8 for work".
You gasp as he releases you. Giving you a least two feet of space.
"Lets see it" he demands.
With shaky hands you pull the crumpled letter from your pocket. He grabs it before you could hold it out to him.
He rips it open, and pours the two silver coins into his hand, tossing them around.
"My coins".
"My coins" you state, taking a step forward, "For my over time"
Surely he wouldn't find it appealing to take your coins from you. He was commander Snow he didn't need any money in district 12. He could just take. There would be no one to stop him.
"And where do you think your boss got the coins to give you for your over time. Where's the rest of them".
It was a set up. Not hard work and luck that gave you a few extra coins. But an odd infatuation from the officer.
You pull the rest from your pocket showing them to him.
He scoffs, "i gave her eight , she gives you four. I expected her to take two, but four. Does your district know no limits to their greed".
He mentally leaves his sweet girl out of the picture. She had received four and was willingly giving 2 away. He was sure you would also give your mother one and spend the rest wisely. Tigress always brought him new clothes with her overtime. Using old curtains to fashion her own.
You hold out your hand for him to take the coins back.
Much like his tigress, You were giving what you had to him.
"If I had known" you start.
"The point was that you didn't know". He snaps.
You still hold out your hand for him to retrieve the coins.
"Keep them. You earnt them".
You pocket the change. You had really earnt them.
He balls your brothers coins in his fist and moves out more into the light to read your letter. You were so glad you decided to leave Commander Snow out of it.
he reads fast, flipping the page and going on to the next in a matter of seconds.
He nods satisfied that it was in fact a letter to your brother and not a lost lover, before he folds the letter back up and places the coins back in the envelop.
"I'll mail it for you" he offers but you protest at the thought.
'I'd prefer to do it, Commander".
"You don't trust me? After everything we've been through, and the secrets we share".
"No-I-" you were thankful he interrupted you again, unsure of your own sentence.
"We're friends, right?"
You nod having the feeling it wasn't truly a question.
"Friends do things for each other. Let me to this for you".
"It's too big of an ask" you try again. You reach for the letter but he pulls it back.
"You could", a step forward had you going back, " do something for me to ease your conscious".
He moves towards you again until you were once again pressed up against the wall.
"What?" you breathe.
His hand cups your face, and his body braces itself against yours before his lushes lips capture yours.
The kiss is deep and hard, Barely moving off before coming back for more. His tongue licks at the bottom of your lip, sucking gently when you don't let him in.
He repositions his head to a tilt, keeping his top lip pressed against your bottom as he does. He comes back with full force, your head knocking softly against the wall from the force.
"that" another small kiss presses against your lips. A quick peck to your sealed lips.
You turn your head in case of another one, and his hand on the side of your face follows.
He digs into his pocket, pulling out two coins and pressing them into your hand.
"Take the coins. Buy yourself a new dress"
"I don't want-"
He sh's you.
"take the coins, buy the dress and stop avoiding me".
"Thursday" you remind him, the day after next.
"Yes, Thursday. Don't forget. Tomorrow if you can".
The house across the track opens its door and an middle aged women appears throwing a bucket of dirty water over the terrace. Coriolanus shrinks into the shadows until she return back inside.
"Go inside" He demands, stepping back. You rush away from him not looking back as you run into the house. But you feel his stare upon your back.
The next morning two peacekeepers knocked on the door to drive you and your mother back to your house, leaving you with a large basket of food.
'What have you done?" Your mother asks you behind closed doors.
"I am not sure" you reply honestly.
-----------
You make the worst batch of oat meal bars you've ever made and deliver them to the compound.
You were almost sure you were going to be shot as you approached the gate but they must have been expecting you, opening the gate as you neared.
You had tried to just give the basket to the Peacekeeper but he demanded that you go inside with him. You follow him through the large estate.
Peacekeepers old and new were everywhere. Some without their uniform giving them an almost human look. They eyed you as you passed.
They thinned as you reached a stunning white building made of stone. Everything else was structured out of metal so you knew that the building only housed the most important people.
It wasn't any less busy as people ran about you with stacks of paper. It was loud inside the walls. People talking to each other as they walked, some yelling down a telephone. None of them even glance at you or the peacekeeper you followed.
He leads you to a large oak door, twice the length of you, and he knocks three times.
"Come in" you hear Commander Snow call.
The peacekeeper opens the door but makes no attempt to enter the threshold. You do, and the door is immediately closed behind you.
"You couldn't make it yesterday?" he asked crossing his desk to join you in the center. You hold your basket like a protective shield.
It kept you distanced as places his hands on your shoulders.
'i had to go to work" You explain and you push the basket to his chest, attempting to rid his hands from you.
He does take the basket with a small hmm before returning to his desk. He places the basket down and digs for a oat bar. As he bites down you could tell he could taste your lack of effort.
Still he eats it without complaint as he pours coffee from a tray into two mugs. He motions for you to sit down but you were itching to go.
"I should go" you state.
"Sit" his mouth was full with the oat bar.
You do sit but don't drink the coffee offered. You notice that he had better looking biscuits on his tray.
He leans against the desk next to you and takes another big bite of the bar. His eyes wonder down to you where you sat anxious twisting your ring.
"What's that?" he points with the oat bar down.
It was only a small metal ring. Thin pieces of twisted metal in a circle. So small most people never even noticed it.
Your brother had given it to you on your nineteenth birthday as a congratulations for not being selected for the hunger games.
He obviously knew it was a ring, and you obviously knew he was really asking who gave you that.
"A gift from my brother before he left". You stop twisting it to draw attention off it but it was too late.
He finished his oat bar, dusting his hands clean from the crumbs before standing up to full height.
"Give it to me".
You shake your head no. It was the last thing you had of him.
Still Coriolanus held his hand out expecting.
"It's very dear to me, Sir".
"I'll take very good care of it".
You look up at him with pleading eyes, his softens but he doesn't relent.
"You can give it to me or I can take it", he warns.
You almost cry as you twist it off your pointer finger and place it in his palm.
He flips it around his pinky finger, and wedges both hands between his knees.
"There's sugar there if you want it".
You stand up angry.
"I don't want it. I have to get to work".
You attempt to storm off but he catches you with a firm hold on your upper arm and a hand wrapped around the side of your face.
Under his strong fingers you remember your anger could get you killed.
"Don't be upset with me" he pleads.
"I ain't upset" you remark although you eyes brim with tears, "They dock my pay half if i am even a minute late. I have to go".
"I'll walk you to the gate". You wait for him to take the lead.
You find the walk back less busy as people avoid the Commanding officer. He twists the ring in the same anxious manner that you did. He wanted to say something. Offer something in return but could think of nothing that would compensate.
It's too late by the time the journey ends. He pulls open the gate and the Peacekeepers facing forward don't turn.
You could feel his hand on your back and it shoots you forward. He remains at the gate watching you flea from him.
No one asks you why you're crying at work. So long as you are doing your tasks they don't care.
----------
On Saturdays you have a stall in the markets selling your baked goods. Your friend helps you when she has the day off for a portion of the profits.
Today it was sunny. Hot but with a nice cool breeze. People flooded through the stalls. Your cakes sold great, even better with the fresher ingredients from Coriolanus box.
You could sell the oat bars with chocolate on top for nearly double. Chocolate was rare in the districts. Most people had never even tasted it before.
Coriolanus was doing his rounds letting a younger officer with great potential shadow him for the day. He freezes when he saw you.
He had walked these markets two or three times before, Had you always been there? He must have walked past you and your stall and never even noticed. Fate has a mysterious way of working. He was now certain that it pushed you into the compound due to his ignorance while on duty.
You looked beautiful in a white top and tight blue jeans. You had your hair covered in a bandana again and wore your normal work boots.
He put his helmet back on in case you looked over and saw him. He was sure you were still upset about Thursday, and he didn't want to spoil your good mood.
The young solider followed suit. Hiding from sight without question. He might survive district 12.
You laughed with your friend who sat on a milk crate to eat her apple. At her feet lay a brown sack filled food. She quickly closed it to avoid being robbed but Coriolanus had already seen it.
He tightened his hold on his rifle. No doubt it had come from you. from Coriolanus to be more correct. He agreed to feed you, even if that meant feeding your mother too, but he did not agree to feed your friends.
Your next box would be smaller.
A school group blocks his view of you as they pass, and Coriolanus refocus to his surroundings. He sees a young boy, no more then 6, dilly dallying behind the rest of the group. He goes up to each stall looking at what they had to offer before slowly making his way to his class.
He was going to be left behind at his current rate.
"you see the young boy in the red shirt?'' Coriolanus asks his soilder.
"Yes, Sir". The boy flexes his shoulders as if the child poses a threat.
''When he reaches that cake stand, I want you to push him over".
He pats the boys shoulder urging him to go. He looked confused but followed command going over to a nearby stall to yours and pretending to look at something.
The young boy skips two stalls to come directly over to yours. His eyes go round at the sight of the chocolate oat bar.
Your smile gets wipped off as the boy is knocked to the ground. You glare instead at the Peacekeeper who made a lap back to Coriolanus.
The boy screams and crys at his scrapped knee. Coriolanus ducks behind a large pillar as you round your table to pick him up.
You were talking to him, soothing him as you rocked side to side. He reacted positively wrapping his little arms around your neck.
Coriolanus bangs his head against the piler. That was the reaction he was hopping for. To see you in a nurturing state as you consoled the boy.
"is that what you wanted sir?" his solider stood in front of him, and he pushes the boy out of the way. He had blocked the view of you carrying the child and setting him on your table.
You reach behind the crying boy and offer him a chocolate oat bar. His crying almost immediately stops.
"yes. Good. Go back to base and have the rest of the afternoon off solider".
The solider is ecstatic at the news, and with a "thank you, sir" he was pushing himself back through the crowd.
You were talking but he wasn't sure if it was to the boy or to your friend. He wished he knew what you were saying.
You had taken off your bandana and wet it with you water bottle to wipe the blood off his knee.
It was so natural for you, he thought, to care for others. Once you got comfortable enough, how would you care for him, he wondered.
Would you baby him as you babied this child if he got hurt.
he shuffles back realsing that he had itched forwarrd as you picked up the child again. You gave him another bar to eat. He was certain you were talking to your friend this time, looking squarely at her before you took off after the school.
The primary school was located at top of a large hill. Away from the noise and violence of the district.
The young boy clung to you as you walked. His chocolate hands getting over your white top as he licked the icing off.
Coriolanus followed you out of the markets. he waits until you were away from the crowd before picking up his pace to you.
The young boy catches Coriolanus' eye and begins to struggle in your grip, pointing at him. The big scary peacekeeper was coming your way.
You tighten your hold and spin to face him.
You looked shocked to see him.
"Commander Snow, sir"
A formal greeting to someone who had you pinned to the side of a wall four night ago.
He smiles at you. Trying to distract you so he can move closer to you.
"I saw" he says, "and I've come to help you return the lost boy"
"I'll be fine on my own, sir"
"I insist. You never know who lurking around. My job to keep you safe".
Coriolanus was not speaking from his station as commander.
"Do you want me to carry him?" Coriolanus offered looking at the large hill.
"No, no" the boy begs, but Coriolanus reaches for him anyway.
You turn away, curling your body around the child.
"No. It's ok. I've got him".
Coriolanus was sure you were going to struggle getting up the hill with the extra weight. If the boy was only a sack of potatoes, he would have just yanked it from your grip. But you looked so good with a child on your hip.
You could always swap half way if you wanted.
"It's ok, darlin'" you rub soothing circles on the boys back, making Coriolanus jealous, "we're gonna get you back to class".
We're. we. us. The partners in crime.
He bucks his chest out with confidence.
You begin your journey up the hill, and Coriolanus was right. Not even half way up and you had to shift the child around to your front to distribute the weight. Coriolanus goes to take him but you reject his offer once again.
"He's alright" you insist.
The child rests his head on your chest, his eyes staring at Coriolanus as if to say ha ha.
He was about to suggest you perhaps just let the boy walk, but you beat him through the silence.
"Are you following me?"
"i was showing a new candidate the patrol routes. I just happened to have seen you with the boy, and wanted to help you get him back to class as per my duty".
Close enough to the truth.
"And lydia's? how did you know i was staying there?"
His unclips his helmet and attaches it to his rifle.
"I asked around". Threated your neighbors.
You fall into silence again and this time it was Coriolanus who brecks it,
"Are you going to share everything I give you with others?"
You scoff at his words, ''saw me with the child, hey?'".
He grabs your arm to turn you causing the boy to wail again.
'You might find I am a lot more closed fisted if I can't be certain it's actually going to you".
You tear free and bounce the boy in your arms.
"shhh baby. It's all ok'' You smooth his hair back, cradling him to you.
You step away from the scary peacekeeper as you and the boy talk. You soon compliance him back to a settled temperament, and Coriolanus steps back over to you.
He doesn't mention the sharing again. He would wait for the journey back. He found himself childishly annoyed when your attention went all to the small boy.
You huff as the boy gets heavier in your arms but Coriolanus doesn't offer to take him again. He'll let you struggle.
"Why do you feed people you don't know?" the boy sucks on the remainder of the oat bar, slopper getting all over your shoulder.
You don't answer. He calks it up to the physical labor.
"The prisoners, the boy" he pushes. He leaves himself out of the list. You both feed each other because you innately knew each other. You were partners in crime and partners in crime look after one another.
"Who's to say I don't know em".
"I assure you after I was done if the prisoners knew you they would have given you up. They didn't know".
He half regretted his sentence seeing you tense up. But he was sure he left a impression of a strong, powerful man. You just needed to get over your guilt first to see it.
"We look after each other in District 12. It may not seem like it to you but these are good people here".
You looked after people here, he wasn't so sure that they had the same loyalty back.
He had seen enough flips and crumbles to know that for the right price they would feed you to him.
He wanted to tell you this. To set you straight, and show that he was the only one looking out for you. But he knew the information would upset you and he had already done that once this week. He would save it for another time.
You struggle up the hill, puffing out gratefully as the small school house came into view. A large tree marked the boundary, upholding a wire fence around the small metal huts.
You turn to Coriolanus, "I think the gun might scare them".
He take his large rifle off his shoulder and leans it against the tree. Your face still read of your displeasure.
"it might just be best if i go on with him".
He looks to you and then back to the school. He could still see you if he stayed underneath the shade of the tree.
'' I'll wait for you here then''. The gun is slung over his shoulder and he takes its place against the tree.
The boy watches Coriolanus over your shoulder as you walk with him.
You call out to the teacher frantically recounting her children.
"hey, I think you're missing one!". You place the small boy on the ground and wave goodbye to him as he runs over to his teacher, complaints of his sore knee spilling from his mouth.
Turning back to Coriolanus, your smile disappears and your pace that was slow with the child picked up to a near sprint.
He straightened up as you came near but you walked straight past him without looking.
"Do you want children?" He matches your pace
"No" you spat, "never".
Maybe if you met the right man, he wanted to say. A man who could protect them.
But he swallowed the words. This situation was new to him too. He didn't want to make promises he would later not plan to keep.
"You should reconsider" he says instead, "I think you would make a good mother".
You were naturally a very warm and loving person. While others walked around the crying boy you picked him up and nurtured him.
Coriolanus remembered a time in the war he had gone out alone in search of food. He found only hungry dogs, who chased him through the ruined city.
"Help!" he cried, looking back at the fast approaching beasts.
His foot catches a large pothole in the ground and he is thrown upon his face. Sure he was going to get eaten he calls out for Tigress but it is a large man that appears at name.
He bangs the lids of trash cans together and shouts angrily at the dogs, scaring them off.
A savior, he thought. But dropping the lids and turning to Coriolanus, the man didn't cradle the boy to his chest as you had but reached for his axe under his coat and swung it down.
He had managed to roll out of its path and get to his feet just in time.
The man was slower than the dogs, overcome with starvation. Coriolanus could disappear between the buildings. He remembered as he hid in rubble while waiting for the man to pass, how sacred he was.
It was one of the core memories that haunted him to this day.
oh how he wished that someone like you had found him instead, but he wasn't sure people could be like that anymore. He wasn't sure how through all the misery and pain you could remain so soft. He wanted to sink his teeth into your flesh and have a taste.
"What would be the point. Loving someone only to watch them get killed in the hunger games".
You feet come down hard, channeling the anger you couldn't express.
"The chances are small. There are over 300 families in district 12".
He just wanted to hear you say you would like children. The picture of you big and round while rocking a boy the same age as the lost child seemed to be getting hazer as you resisted.
"You should ask Milly May, or Harrison Flint if their chances seemed small".
This years tributes to the Hunger Games. They both died the first day. Milly May the first hour.
"Motherhood looks good on you. Natural" he tries again.
You stop in your tracks, turning to face him.
“I can’t give you what you want. No matter how much you try and sweet talk me or buy me. It won’t be given”.
It didn't matter, was the first thought that appeared in his head.
"I don't want anything from you. In fact, it's been me that's been giving. Food. Protection. All to have it spat back in my face".
Your eyes float down the hill. The beginning of Town was still a little while away.
"I understand, sir. Perhaps your efforts would be appreciated more else where".
It was a gentle let down but resulted in a harsh strike.
His hand came down upon your cheek, almost knocking you to the ground. You stumble off balance, looking up at him.
The anger on his face morphs into disappointment. Before he could reach out for you, you take off running down the hill.
You might be beaten for your rejection.
You feel his hand brush against your shoulder as he tries to grab you but you avoid it.
Pushing yourself down the hill as fast as you could go. But it wasn't fast enough.
He tackles you to the ground, crawling on top of you and securing both your wrists with one hand.
"I am sorry, I am sorry" he holds the side of the face he stuck, smoothing it over, "I shouldn't have done that".
You trash under him, screaming.
His soft hand retracts from your face to take off the rifle from his shoulder, he sets it down next to you.
His dog tags had made their way from under his shirt and now dangle over your face. You can see he had added your ring to the chain.
''Let me see" his hand returns to your jaw, forcing it to the ground on the other side so he could inspect your cheek, "only a little bruise".
He lets your head go back to its normal position, and you're left looking in his eyes.
"What I do, I do for you. Okay? not your friends, and not for anyone else. Do you understand?".
His hand reaches up going to your palm and enclosing your curled hand with his. He held himself up with his hold on your wrists, and with the other now pressed over yours, all his weight bore down on you.
The weight upon your hands hurt.
"Yes, Sir".
"If I find out you've been sharing again. I'll hang them for thievery".
You give two little nods.
"I understand, Sir. It won't happen again. Please, let me get up".
He hops off you. choosing to crouch at your feet as you sit up. He notices your shoe lace untied and begins to pull the laces tight and loop the knot back up.
You sit there stunned as he picks up his gun and rises. Offering you a hand you take it and he pulls you up.
The journey down the hill begins again. His hand reaches out to keep you in pace with him when he feels you propelling down.
You reach the bottom in a comfortable silence and stop at the foot of the hill.
"We can't be seen going back together. It will put a target on my back".
You were right. The district scum might harm you if they thought it would get back at Coriolanus.
He nods in understanding.
"You go ahead. I'll follow". He gestures forward.
You go quickly back to your stall. He tries to keep focus on you but your short stature gets momentarily lost in the crowd.
You reach your stall and go straight back behind it. Your friend is standing next to you talking in a worried hush tone when Coriolanus reaches the table.
You don't look at him as he takes one of the chocolate oat bars and continues walking back to the compound.
It tasted dry in his mouth, he didn't like that you were still baking for others, you were going to have to shut down your stall.
-----------
Coriolanus stood upon the platform at the hanging tree, having it checked for bombs twice.
The gate was swung open for the public, and every available peacekeeper was present and armed.
The convicted all formed a line. Being hung one by one for dramatic effect. The families of the dead being forced to stand at the front of the audience so they could grab their sons/brothers/ cousins shoes as Peacekeepers dropped him and restrung the rope.
Coriolanus forbid traditional burial for traitors of the country. Families would have to settle for burying the shoes of their deceased love one while their bodies are cremated and sent to Dr Gaul's office as decoration.
"Phineas Hightower. Sentenced to death for consorting with rebels and making plans of an attack. Disturbing the peace of the district".
Coriolanus read into a microphone that fed through the town.
A young man approaches. 30 at the most. He didn't look scared as the others did. No tears or pleas of innocence. Coriolanus almost respected him.
The man kicks off his shoes as he steps upon the box, and a loud cry of grief overtook the space. The mockingjays echoed it out.
Peacekeepers were on the old women, presumably his mother, fast. Focus must be kept on the fate of the traitor, and not on the cries of mothers.
The old women reaches for her sons shoes but is shoved before she could reach them. She pleas with the officers taking her to the back, but they are like statues as they manhandle her away.
Coriolanus could now see tears spring in the eyes of the young man. A befitting end for a capital traitor.
He gives the order to continue the show. They ready the man for execution.
More commotion is heard as the crowd readjusts to let someone through. He looks to see you making your way through the crowd to the front.
Had you come to see him. Watch him as he took life. Does the power fill your belly with excitement to know that the same hands that caressed you now commanded death of another.
You wanted to make yourself known to him. To let him know he had a friend in the crowd. You had dressed pretty for him back in your clothes you wore for your vaccination. A nod to your secret bond.
You left the bandana off, letting your loose hair fall around your shoulders.
But no. You don't come to his side of the stage. You rush to the soon to be dead man.
You grab the shoes, just as the box is kicked. You squeeze your eyes shut and bring them to your chest.
Coriolanus steps back to the guards behind him.
He nods in your direction, "Take that girl to my study. Make sure she doesn't leave".
Coriolanus hears the body drop, and the Guard move to catch you.
You hadn't moved since the rope stretched. You stood there eyes closed and shoes to your chest until you felt hands upon you telling you to move.
You look back at Coriolanus on the stage to see him looking down at you.
The rage in your eyes matches his.
---------
Coriolanus makes a trip to the bathroom to wash his face and make himself more presentable. He takes off his official hat, and unbuttons the top of his jacket.
You had been waiting for him for nearly an hour and a half. Having to wait for the rest of the hangings to finish, the crowd to go home, the peacekeepers to sweep the area and the final report from all leaders to Coriolanus before he dismisses them for the night.
He untucks his chain from his neck and holds your ring in his hand.
You were still his girl. Just unshaped still.
Placing the hat under his arm he makes his way to you in his study. The Peacekeeper stood guard at the door.
"You can leave" he tells the man, before entering.
He sees you shoot up from the chair as he closes the door behind him.
You had been crying. He could see the tear lines still wet on your face.
"What were you doing at the hanging?". He storms over to you. He was giving you an opportunity to satisfy him.
I was there to see you but the women upset me. He wanted you to say.
"Leave me alone. i have to get these shoes home" You try and push past him but he shoves you down into the chair. Resting his weight upon the arms of it as he leaves over you.
"I've told you once, associating with rebels will get you hanged".
"his mother won't have a body to burry. She will have his shoes".
It was the first time you hadn't called him Sir in a conversation.
He wanted to slap you until you did.
But his hands were busy taking the shoes from you.
"Now she won't have shoes either. She can burry a memory".
You push the chair back to escape him. He could tell you wanted to hit him. Your fists balled and your stance was ready to swing.
"Come here" he demanded. It gnawed at him that you were upset with him. He was only doing his job.
"Give me the shoes" you demanded.
He drops the shoes to the ground.
"come and get them" he taunts.
You seem hesitant but you do, bending down at his feet to retrieve the shoes.
He grabs your jaw once your knee height and you struggle against him.
"Tell me I am taking good care of you" He pushes down as you try and get up. "Tell me how handsome I am".
You weren't truly mad at him, only overcome with emotion, he assured himself. But he too felt heavy after hanging days.
he had wanted to rest in your arms, similar to the boy with the scraped knee. But you offered him no comfort.
This time you do strike him across the face. He shoves you away and you scramble far, taking one shoe with you.
He begins to laugh, would every comfort be denied to him. No, not you.
"Don't you ever touch me again. You stay away from me from now on".
He was going to make you regret ever saying those words to him. You were going to give him every drop of kindness you held even if he had to wring it from your body. he deserved it after everything he had been through. You were his reward for it all, and by god he was going to have it.
But not now. Now he opened the door for your freedom, watching you run out.
He would make sure you came crawling back. Telling him you wanted his great care again. Telling him how handsome he was.
He would have you all. How much pain you wanted to go through first was entirely up to you.
624 notes · View notes
austinbutlerslovers · 27 days
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Eternal Ink 🪽
Label Mature 18+
Summary Austin is a renowned tattoo artist with his muscular physique covered in intricate ink. After careful contemplation and a little liquid courage, you decide tonight is the night you will finally get the tattoo you’ve been wanting at his shop. Upon entering, you’re immediately struck by his handsomeness and drawn in by his skill. As he works on your tattoo during a quiet, late night session, the intimacy between you two intensifies, fueling a passionate connection. At the end of the session, he satisfies you with something far more exhilarating than the tattoo.
❤️‍🔥Passionate Smut❤️‍🔥 Edging with unprofessional touch • seduction • dirty talk•nipple play•fingering•Austin covered in tattoos size kink •protection •sex on a tattoo table•multiple orgasms
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Master List ••• Upcoming List
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*Thank you for your votes! 🗳️ war camp will be released shortly *Please enjoy the winner tattoo 🏆
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Eternal Ink 🪽
You stepped out of your car, feeling the cool night air against your skin as you made your way towards the tattoo shop. You were dressed nicely in fitted jeans a plunging halter top and mid calf leather boots. You’d been thinking about getting inked for a while now, and after a few drinks with friends for courage, tonight felt like the perfect opportunity.
Before you even set foot inside, you where well aware of this place’s unrivaled excellence, a testament to the exceptional skills of its artists. But it was the masterful artistry of the owner Austin that truly commanded attention. His reputation resounded through the city streets for his artistic brilliance.
The neon sign above the door glowed softly casting a warm light onto the pavement. ‘Eternal Ink’ it read in bold stylish letters. The sign was a striking blue its light flickering slightly creating an almost hypnotic effect. It was framed by a pair of tattooed wings that seemed to flutter with the movement of the light adding an artistic flair to the shop’s entrance.
The store front itself was equally impressive. Large glass windows allowed a glimpse into the shop’s interior, showcasing walls lined with framed tattoo designs and artwork. The door was a heavy dark wood with a polished brass handle, adding a touch of old world charm to the modern, edgy aesthetic of the shop.
Pushing the door open you were greeted by the scent of antiseptic mixed with a faint hint of bergamot. The lobby was both inviting and intimidating, a perfect blend of artistry and rugged masculinity.
Dark polished hardwood floors gleamed under the soft overhead lights, and the walls were covered in framed pieces of tattoo art each one more impressive than the last.
A plush black leather couch sat against one wall, next to a display case filled with tattoo designs and equipment. Next to the display case was a high table covered in tattoo design books. A large ornate mirror hung along the back wall reflecting the lobby making it feel even larger.
At this late hour it seemed the only occupant of the shop was the owner Austin working behind the counter organizing ink bottles.
He stood with his back to you his tall fit frame outlined against the soft lighting from the glass shelving he stood in front of.
His sandy brown hair was slightly tousled giving him a rugged yet polished look. The muscles on his back and shoulders were clearly defined, each contour accentuated by the soft lighting.
Tattooed angel wings adorned his shoulders, their intricate details peeking out from beneath the fabric of the black muscle tee clinging to his athletic form.
His chiseled arms were a canvas of intricate tattoos, each design seamlessly flowing into the next all the way up to his neck and down to his wrists. For a moment, you simply stood there, captivated by the sight of him.
The way he moved with such confidence and ease was mesmerizing. As he turned your eyes met and your breath instantly hitched in your throat as his piercing blue eyes locked onto yours. He was irresistibly attractive.
“Hey there,” he said eyeing you in return, his voice was smooth and deep with a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips. He stepped around the counter and extended his hand.
“I’m Austin. How can I help you tonight?” you took his hand feeling the strength and warmth of his grip. Your eyes locked again and you felt a spark of something more pass between you.
His touch was firm yet gentle, his skin warm and roughened slightly from years of tattooing.
“Hi..yeah…” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest. “I was hoping to get a tattoo tonight. Am I too late?”
His smile deepened, and he held your hand a moment longer than necessary before letting go.
“You’re just in time,” he said not even glancing at a clock. “What are you thinking about getting?” He asked as his gaze traveled subtly down your body, taking in your curves with a look of appreciation that sent a thrill through you.
When your eyes meet again Austin’s gaze lingered on yours and you couldn’t help but feel a surge of excitement mixed with nervousness.
Despite his commanding presence there was a warmth in his eyes that put you at ease.
You shifted slightly, suddenly unsure of what tattoo you wanted. “I’m not exactly sure what I want,” you admitted, feeling a bit sheepish.
Austin’s smile remained “No worries, Let’s take a look at some tattoo books. We’ll find something that speaks to you.” He said reassuringly and gestured you to follow him to the high table in the lobby which was adorned with a variety of tattoo design books.
As you flipped through the pages together his hand would occasionally brush against your sending sparks of electricity flying through you.
You slowly regained your composure and began to explain your idea to him, a small intricate design on your inner hip, something personal and meaningful. He listened intently, his eyes focused on you with understanding as you discussed the details.
Then with a fluid motion, he pulled open a drawer from the table, retrieving his sketch book and flipping open a fresh page. “How about this?” he suggested his hand moving slowly as he sketched a design on the piece of paper.
Once finished, he handed it over for your approval and as you examined the drawing in your hand, you realized it was exactly what you had envisioned, perfect in every detail.
“That’s it!” you said your voice filling with excitement. “I love it!”
As your eyes lifted from the drawing to his you could see a hint of pride in his expression as a warm smile spread across his lips.
“I’m glad you like it,” he replied, his voice low and genuine as his eyes lingered on you. “Let’s get you set up.”
He led you to a back room, his private tattoo space that exuded a dark masculine energy. The walls were painted a deep charcoal gray adorned with framed photos and artwork. Black leather furniture sleek and stylish filled the room. The scent of leather mixed with the faint aroma of ink and antiseptic created an edgy atmosphere.
There was a large framed picture of Austin on a powerful motorcycle above his desk, looking every bit the rugged artist that he was. Next to it were pieces of his favorite designs, detailed and vibrant tattoos that showcased his incredible talent.
In the center of the room was a black leather tattoo chair, its surface smooth and inviting. It looked like a throne, commanding attention in the dim lighting.
Austin gestured for you to sit and as you settled into the chair he pressed a button making you lay all the way flat, filling you with a mix of excitement and nerves.
"First time?" he asked, his eyes twinkling in amusement as he turned on his work light and directed its beam on your hip.
“Yeah,” you admitted, laughing nervously. “Go easy on me?”
He chuckled, a warm, reassuring sound. “I’ll take good care of you, don’t worry.”
As Austin prepared the equipment, his movements were precise and confident. The room was quiet the only sounds being the snap of his black gloves fitting onto his hands and the soft buzz of the machine as he tested it.
You took a breath and unbuttoned your jeans pulling them down low to reveal your right hip bone. His eyes remained steady on his task as he cleaned your skin.
His touch was gentle and professional, yet still he managed to send a shiver down your spine.
“Ready?” he asked, looking up at you with his intense blue eyes.
You took another deep breath and nodded. “Ready.”
Austin’s eyes lingered on yours for a moment longer before he turned his attention back to the task at hand.
He dipped the needle into the ink, and his fingers pressed lightly against your skin. As the needle touched your skin a sharp burning sensation shot through you. It was unlike anything you’d ever felt before, painful and sharp, but also exhilarating.
The intensity of the sensation was constant but there was a rhythm to it, a hypnotic quality that made it bearable. You winced a bit biting your lip as the discomfort quickly began to mix with a strange, almost pleasurable sensation.
Austin paused for a moment lifting his gaze to meet yours. “You doing alright?” he asked with his hand gently rested on your hip.
You nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah, I’m okay. It hurts, but it’s… different. Not as bad as I expected.”
He gave you a small, understanding smile. “Just let me know if it gets too much, alright? We can take a break if you need.”
His words were comforting and the way he looked at you with genuine care made you feel completely at ease despite the pain. You nodded and he returned to his work.
The needle continued its steady hum and his fingers occasionally brushed against your skin to wipe away any excess ink. The sensation of his touch, coupled with the steady rhythm of the needle ignited a wave of arousal within you, transforming the discomfort into a tantalizing pleasure.
You found yourself captivated by his face as he worked. His handsome features were well defined, his high cheekbones and strong jawline catching the light of the overhead lamp as he worked.
His intense focus made him even more attractive, the way his brows furrowed as he concentrated, his full lips pressing together in a thin line of determination.
Each time his eyes flicked up to meet yours it sent a thrill through you, unable to deny your desire for him. It became evident he felt the same way as the depth of his emotions mirrored your own, the undeniable attraction between you both conveyed through each intense gaze.
He leaned in closer to fill in the intricacies of the design and you felt his warm breath against your skin, each exhale sending a gentle shiver down your spine causing you to move slightly. His grip on your hip reactively tightened. His fingers pressing into your flesh in a way that felt both possessive and protective.
“You’re doing so well for me,” he encouraged, his voice low and soothing, keeping you calm as he worked on a vital area of the design. His eyes narrowed in concentration as he manipulated the needle in delicate lines of precision.
His face displayed such a focused intensity as he masterfully inked the tattoo needle into your skin that it made you feel a mixture of anticipation and exhilaration knowing his skilled hands were marking your body permanently.
You calmed your urges focusing on the steady rhythm of his breathing and the gentle caress of his hand, until it transformed into something more.
His fingers began to trail across your skin with a subtle intimacy that stirred the arousal in you once more and you couldn’t help but fixate on his hands. You began feeling increasingly turned on by the way his fingers moved with purpose, each touch deliberate and confident, sending waves of desire coursing through you.
The warmth of his touch and the firmness of his grip stirred a deep lust within you. As his fingers ventured closer to your pelvic line, your pulse quickened, and your breath hitched in your throat.
Austin looked up at you again, this time the intensity of his stare sent a thrill through you. There was a spark there that ignited within a wordless heat growing more intense between you two at every passing moment.
He paused, leaning back to wipe away any excess ink, his fingertips trailing along your hip in a tantalizing manner. The deliberate slowness of his touch sent waves of excitement through you, intensifying the already electric atmosphere.
Sensing your attraction for him he couldn’t help but feel a surge of his own desire rising. Firmly gripping your hip he began seductively tracing his thumb along the edge of your tattoo.
Each stroke elicited a soft gasp and a subtle shift in your breathing a silent acknowledgment of the pleasure he was bestowing upon you. As your eyes met he gazed at you with an allure that made it clear his touch fueling your arousal was intentional.
“You have very beautiful skin,” he said softly, his voice filled with a mix of admiration and desire. His gaze traveled down your body lingering on the curve of your hip where he was tattooing. “Perfect canvas.” He said passionately.
You felt a flush rise to your cheeks, your body reacting to the intensity of his gaze and the intimacy of his words.
“You’re doing incredibly well for your first tattoo,” he praised, his voice a blend of reassurance and seduction. “Almost done,” he confirmed.
His eyes locked onto yours with a smoldering intensity, and a playful smirk formed on his lips revealing his desire for you.
You nodded, unable to speak, your body trembling slightly with the intensity of the experience.
His touch returned even more intimate than before as if he was savoring the contact, making your breath hitch and your heart race on each touch. The warmth of his hand and his fingertips lingered after every stimulating touch, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake as you became wet for him.
His eyes lifted to meet yours with a mischievous glint dancing within them. He spread his large hand wider across your pelvis, keeping the needle centered, as his fingers sensually teased under your panty line. The intimate touch ignited a fire within you, and it was evident he relished the effect. His smile only adding to the allure, intensifying your desire for him.
The sculpted muscles of his bicep flexed subtly as he finalized the design, showcasing the intricate tattoos adorning his own skin. Every movement he made captivated you, from the ink on his forearms to the designs gracing his neck. With each glimpse, your arousal heightened, fueled by an intense curiosity about the hidden artistry concealed beneath his clothing.
When he finally lifted the needle for the last time you let out a shaky breath, feeling a rush of relief and exhilaration from the intimate experience.
“All done,” he said, sitting back and snapping off his black gloves admiring his work. “Take a look.”
As you sat up he offered his hand, helping you to stand. You walked to the full length mirror in the room, lifting your shirt and pulling your jeans lower to admire your new tattoo.
It was beautiful, exactly what you had envisioned. The lines were clean and precise, the design was delicate yet striking. You turned to him filled with gratitude and something deeper swelling in your chest.
Before you could second guess yourself, you closed the distance between you stepping into his space with purpose. “It’s perfect,” you praised, your voice tinged with a hint of arousal.
You reached for him with a flicker of uncertainty dancing within as you gently placed your hands on his broad chest. “Thank you, Austin,” you breathed, your voice barely audible as you gazed up into his striking blue eyes overcome with desire.
He looked utterly irresistible, his hair tousled in a way that only added to his allure, a few strands falling playfully over his forehead and framing his beautiful blue eyes. His features exuded a quiet confidence and undeniable charm, his eyes gleaming with a hint of mischief as they met yours.
His full lips curved into a smile and he pulled you in closer slowly wrapping his arms around your waist. "Stay a while?" he asked, his voice was a deep rich tone sending a surge of anticipation through you.
“I’d love to,” you breathed and he lowered his lips onto yours in a passionate kiss, the intensity of the moment flooded through you entirely. His kiss was tender yet hungry as his hands roamed your back holding you tightly against him.
You broke apart from him nearly breathless form the moment and he smiled down at you. His eyes locked onto yours showing the depth of his desire as he gently caressed the curve of your cheek.
“You know I own this place,” he said, his voice low and intimate. “So we have all the time in the world here.” He said with a smile that exuded confidence as he held your gaze.
“That’s good to know,” you replied, your voice laced with seduction. “I wouldn’t want to rush with someone as skillful as you,” you teased as you gazed up at him full of desire with a sensual smile spread across your lips.
Austin chuckled and tantalizingly traced his finger gently along your jawline “You’re something else, you know that?” He asked with his eyes narrowed.
You shrugged playfully as you responded “I get that a lot” with a hint of allure in your voice.
He grinned, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. “I bet you do.” He said moving closer. You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks as he leaned in, capturing your lips in another searing kiss. This time it was deeper, his mouth explored yours with an intense passion that made your heart race. His tongue teased and tasted yours each movement sending jolts of electricity through you as his hands roamed your body, exploring every curve and contour.
His grip was firm yet gentle on your waist as he broke the kiss pressing you against the leather edge of the tattoo table. His body was so close you could feel the heat radiating off of him in waves. His eyes darkened with desire locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart flutter.
He leaned in so close that his lips brushed against your ear as he whispered, “I’ve wanted you from the moment you walked in.” His words sent tingles of excitement throughout your body as he gently trailed his fingers down your arms. “I never imagined you felt the same,” he confessed, his voice thick with desire.
You felt a surge of anticipation fill you as he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes with a slow sensual smile curving on his lips. Then without another word kissed you hard and demanding, his hands exploring your body gliding down your shoulders and over your chest gently squeezing the curves of your breasts through the fabric of your shirt.
His fingers teased your nipples with featherlight strokes until they hardened. Then with a tantalizing pull he gently tugged at the buds, eliciting a soft gasp of pleasure from your lips. His touch ignited a fierce desire within you, and you melted into him, your own hands reaching up to thread your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer as your mouths came together in a heated clash.
The tattoo table was sturdy behind you supporting as Austin’s kisses increased with desire. His lips moved from yours trailing down your neck, their warmth igniting a deeper lust with every tender press.
“You taste incredible,” he murmured, his voice a low caress against your skin. His teeth grazed your neck eliciting a gasp of pleasure from your lips as his hands roamed possessively over your curves, lingering on the bare flesh where your halter top didn’t cover.
“You feel so soft,” he whispered, his voice filled with admiration and lust, as if he couldn’t get enough of you.
He brushed his hand against the skin of your neck. “I want to see every inch of you,” he said, his eyes smoldering with desire. “And I want to touch every part of you,” he said his hands traveling possessively down to grip your hips.
A shiver ran through you as you finally answered. “Then take me, Austin. I’m yours.”
Austin’s breath hitched as he heard your words fulfilling his desire. With a hungry gaze, he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours as he whispered “I’ve been waiting for you to say that.”
His eyes darkened with lust as a smirk formed on his lips. Your consent giving him the final push to satisfy his overwhelming urge to indulge in the passion between you.
He kneeled down in front of you swiftly unzipping your boots, easing them off, one by one with a steady hand. He pulled down your jeans revealing your skin inch by inch to the cool air as he took them off. His eyes never left yours as he peered up at you hooking his thumbs into the waistband of your wet panties sliding them down until you stepped out of them.
As he stood his fingers grasped the hem of your shirt tugging it upwards. You lifted your arms, allowing him to pull it off and toss it aside. He paused for a moment, his eyes roaming over your naked form with a look of pure desire.
“You’re irresistible,” he whispered, bringing his hands to cup your breasts with adoration as his thumbs traced your nipples. His lips found their way to your neck trailing a line of soft kisses. “Do you know how beautiful you are?” he murmured against your skin as his lips continued their journey up your neck.
As you opened your mouth to answer he captured your lips in another searing kiss his tongue boldly delving into your mouth, exploring with an irresistible need.
“Austin..” you breathed, pulling back slightly, your hands sliding up his muscular arms, feeling the strength beneath his skin. “I need you,” you confessed, holding his gaze with your faces mere inches apart.
”I need you too” he whispered against your lips. His words were filled with longing and urgency and he readily lifted you onto the edge of the tattoo table positioning himself between your legs. With his body pressed firmly against yours, you felt tingles of anticipation surging through you.
He stared into your eyes as he placed his hand on your thighs, gently spreading your legs apart on the tattoo table. His passionate touch sent waves of anticipation through you.
“Is this what you wanted?” he asked, his voice was thick with desire.
You nodded, your breath coming in short gasps. “Yes, exactly.”
He smiled, his hands gripping your thighs tightly. “You have no idea how badly I want you.”
You shivered at his words, the anticipation building even more. “Then don’t hold back,” you urged, your voice barely more than a whisper.
Austin’s eyes darkened with lust as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear. “I won’t.” he vowed.
His hand reach between your bodies and his fingers made contact with your wetness applying a gentle pressure, slowly gliding them along the slick surface of your folds. With each stroke he explored the contours of your most sensitive areas, looking into your eyes and paying attention to the subtle responses of your body.
The sensation intensified as he lingered on certain spots, teasing them with the delicate precision of his fingertips, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through you as you stared at him in shock.
“Are you ready?” he asked, his voice filled with desire as he looked into your eyes again seeking your confirmation. You nodded quickly as your heart raced in anticipation.
With a deliberate and tantalizing slowness he pushed his fingers deep inside, the sudden intrusion making you gasp in pleasure. The sensation was intoxicating as your walls clenched around his fingers, each movement of his expertly seeking and stimulating a sensitive spot within you.
He curled his fingers as he pushed them in and out of you sending surges of pleasure throughout your body, intensifying with every thrust as he skillfully explored your depths.
He wrapped his other hand around your throat, his lips returning to yours as he moved his fingers through you in a steady rhythm. Every touch, every kiss, and every thrust of his fingers sent waves of ecstasy coursing through your body.
The pain from the tattoo faded away, replaced by a pleasure so intense it left you breathless. You felt the familiar tightening in your core as Austin’s fingers worked, pulling along the ridge of your most sensitive spot with each skillful thrust.
With the deliberate strokes of his fingers, expertly penetrating your inner walls you felt yourself giving in to the intoxicating waves of pleasure crashing over you and began to tremble and pant into his mouth as he kissed you. His lips trailed down to your neck and he sucked on the soft skin causing your walls to flutter against his plunging fingers. “Let go for me” he whispered against your neck.
His seductive command was the final push to take you over the edge. A loud uninhibited moan escaped your lips, the sound echoing the room as he skillfully brought you a climax. Your core throbbed with the release of euphoria as sparks of ecstasy raced through every nerve ending in your body as you orgasmed.
You could barely form a coherent thought, let alone a response from the pleasure he had just allowed you to endure. “Austin!” you panted trying to form words as he stared into your eyes with a knowing grin. The desire to be consumed by him overwhelmed your mind entirely.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice low and reverent as he removed his fingers from you. He brought them to his wanting mouth his eyes never leaving yours as he traced along each finger with his tongue savoring the taste of you before sucking them clean. His eyes roamed your body with a hunger that made your heart race.
“You have no idea what you do to me,” he said, his voice low and intimate as he leaned in capturing your lips in another erotic kiss.
You pulled your lips back to meet his gaze. “Then show me,” you whispered, the intensity of desire evident in your voice.
His eyes bore into yours with a primal desire to conquer you before he deliberate took a step back, creating space to undress.
He knelt first and unlaced his boots, removing them with his socks before setting them aside and standing back up.
You watched in anticipation as Austin gripped the hem of his muscle tee, effortlessly lifting it over his head in one fluid motion and flinging it aside.
The sight that greeted you took your breath away. His torso was a masterpiece of art and strength. His skin was covered in intricate tattoos, each one telling a story, that highlighted the sculpted muscles beneath.
His chest was broad and firm adorned with a phoenix that rose majestically in the middle, its wings spreading across his pectorals in vibrant hues of red and gold.
On his rib cage, a dragon coiled, its scales meticulously detailed, the black ink contrasting sharply against his tan skin. His abs were a series of defined ridges, leading down to the waistband of his jeans.
Austin’s gaze met yours, a smoldering heat in his blue eyes as he reached for the button of his fly. With practiced ease, he unbuttoned and slid his jeans off, revealing his long, thick cock.
You couldn’t help but gasp at its size. He was impressively endowed, his cock throbbing with desire and anticipation, every vein pulsing beneath the smooth skin was a visual testament to his undeniable readiness to claim you.
His strong, muscular legs were also decorated with tattoos. A compass adorned one thigh, its points perfectly aligned, guided by the celestial bodies and a hyper realistic wave design graced his calf, as if the ocean itself had been captured in ink.
On his other thigh, an astral pattern began that extended down to his shin, depicting a cosmic journey in ink.
He stood there for a moment, letting you take in the full view of him, his body a striking combination of raw power and delicate artistry. The room seemed to pulse with the intensity of the moment with anticipation and desire.
“You like what you see?” he asked, his voice low and teasing, a hint of a smile playing at his lips.
You nodded, unable to find your voice.
Austin stepped closer, cock swaying as he leaned to reach his hand into the low drawer of his tattoo station. He retrieved the golden packet of a condom glinting in the low lighting as he tore it open.
You watched as he rolled the condom down his large cock with a practiced skill and a look of anticipation gleaming in his eyes.
“You ready for this?” he asked with his voice full of desire. You met his gaze, your eyes filled with a mix of excitement and longing.
“Yes,” you whispered, your voice barely audible above the pounding of your heart.
He returned to you, positioning himself between your thighs as you sat on the tattoo table. Every inch of him felt larger and more commanding, the embodiment of strength against your softness.
He reached down and wrapped his hand around the base of his thick shaft. With a firm grip, he guided his throbbing cock to the entrance of your soaking wet pussy, teasing the head along your slick folds, feeling the heat radiating from your core staring into your eyes.
“Ready for me?” he asked as he positioned himself at your entrance, seeking confirmation before the inevitable plunge.
You nodded eagerly, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness coursing through you wrapping your arms around his muscular back reveling in his strength
He slowly pushed forward the tip of his cock parting your lips, the sensation of his hardness pressing against your softness eliciting a loud moan from your lips.
Each inch he pressed inside made you gasp, your walls stretching to accommodate his girth, as you gripped his back tightly, your nails dug into his skin as you moaned with pleasure.
He groaned in response, easing the rest of his remarkably large cock inside of you until he filled you to your core. His eyes locked on yours as he felt your walls throbbing around his cock, trying to adjust to his size.
He brought his hands to hold your hips, steadying himself, as his lips brushed against yours.
“You feel so good on me,” he whispered capturing your lips in a passionate kiss.
He withdrew his hips, slightly sliding his cock out before returning it back in smacking his hips flush with your body as his tip pressed against your core beginning his strong rhythm.
With each of his thrusts the intensity grew, driving him deeper into you sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
You felt his muscular chest pressing against yours, skin sliding together with each movement as he held you firmly against him, bracing you to take the impact of each powerful thrust. His breath mingled with yours as your bodies moved in perfect rhythm.
“You feel incredible,” he groaned, his voice filled with desire staring at you for confirmation. You only gasped in response, unable to form words as the pleasure washed over you in relentless waves.
He increased his movements and your back arched with the quick jolt force of his thrusts as your skin began making slapping sounds between your bodies.
You gasped, feeling the intense pressure of his hardness against you cervix as his hips clapped between your legs.
“Yes, Austin, yes just like that!” You finally cried out, unable to contain the overwhelming pleasure of being so completely filled by him.
Austin groaned in response to your plea “You’re making me so hard,” he rasped, his voice thick with arousal as he wrapped his hand around your throat in a possessive gesture continuing to thrust into you. Each clap of his hips between your legs igniting a new wave of pleasure.
You began gasping and panting for air between moans, locking eyes with him, knowing your orgasm was imminent. His eyes met yours with a primal hunger, his grip your throat tightening, adding to the overwhelming sensation of his control as he thrust into you with unyielding determination.
You could feel every inch of his powerful body dominating yours, his strength and authority driving you wild. In that moment, you were completely lost to him.
He panted against your lips, his grip firm on your throat as he thrust into you hard and fast
“I want to feel you cum for me,” he rasped over the hard claps of his hips between yours. Each word sent shivers down your spine, and you moaned in response, unable to form coherent words as the pleasure consumed you.
“Fuck!” he whispered sharply “You feel too good.” he admitted and shut his eyes tight enduring the pleasure as he rode into you ramming you full of him.
“Yes Austin take me” you relented arching your back, eagerly meeting his thrusts with your body trembling with ecstasy. “Im gonnna cum!” You gasped.
He growled eagerly, his primal instincts taking over as he locked eyes with yours. Without hesitation, he forcefully thrust into you, each movement becoming more intense with every snap of his hips, driving you both over the edge.
Your moans of pleasure mingled in the air as he delivered his a final, powerful push and gripped you tightly as his cock spasmed releasing rope after rope of his cum into your body.
You scratched your nails down his tattooed back and cried out feeling the throbbing sensation of his cock buried against your walls.
He hungrily captured your lips in a kiss, accepting the pain and pleasure, his tongue dominating yours, igniting a fierce passion that consumed you both.
He pulled his lips from yours and the room fell silent, only the soft sounds of your breaths mingling. He looked at you with his eyes softening. “Stay with me,” he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. “Don’t leave.”
You smiled, your heart swelling with affection. “I’m not going anywhere,” you promised, pulling him in for another kiss.
With Austin’s muscular tattooed arms wrapping tightly around you flexing against your skin, you felt the warmth of his body pressing into yours. The fresh tattoo on your hip still tingled, a reminder of the intense connection you had just forged.
You could feel the tension building as Austin withdrew sliding his thick cock out of you with a slow and deliberate pace. Each inch leaving you causing a yearning to feel full of him all over again. When the tip finally slipped out, he immediately pulled you close, craving the intimacy of your connection once more.
In that moment as you looked into each other’s eyes you both smiled feeling completely satisfied. The depth of your connection was undeniable, a powerful bond forged in the heat of passion and intimacy. You knew that you had experienced something truly unforgettable, a moment that would remain tattooed in your hearts forever.
❤️‍🔥END❤️‍🔥
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mightyflamethrower · 5 months
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15 Facts About E. Jean Carroll’s Allegations Against Trump the Media Don’t Want You to Know
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1.  Bergdorf Goodman has no surveillance video of the alleged incident.
2.  There are zero witnesses to the alleged sexual attack.
3.  Carroll first came forward — conveniently — with the allegations while promoting her book What Do We Need Men For? in 2019, which featured a list of “The Most Hideous Men of My Life.”
4.  Carroll was unable to remember when this alleged attack even occurred. She told her lawyer in 2023, “This question, the when, the when, the date, has been something I’ve [been] constantly trying to pin down.” She has jumped years — originally beginning with 1994, then moving to 1995, and even floating to 1996. She cannot remember the season in which the alleged attack occurred either.
5.  The Donna Karan blazer dress she claims to have worn during the alleged incident was not even available at the time of her claims. Trump Attorney Boris Epshteyn told reporters, “She said, ‘This is the dress I wore in 1994.’ They went back, they checked. The dress wasn’t even made in 1994.”
“And that’s why the date’s moved around. This is the 80s. Is it the 90s? Is it the 2000s? President Trump has consistently stated that he was falsely accused, and he has the right to defend himself,” he added.
6.  She never came forward with these allegations over the years despite constantly being open about sexuality, posting things that were very sexual in nature on social media — many of which Trump has shared. They include remarks such as “How do you know your ‘unwanted sexual advance’ is unwanted, until you advance it?” and “Sex Tip I Learned From My Dog: When in heat, chase the male until he collapses with exhaustion … then jump him!”
7.  She said she was never raped, telling the New York Times’ podcast, The Daily,“Every woman gets to choose her word. Every woman gets to choose how she describes it. This is my way of saying it. This is my word. My word is ‘fight.’ My word is not the ‘victim’ word. I have not — I have not been raped,” she continued. “I have — something has not been done to me. I fought. That’s the thing.”
8.  She named her cat “Vagina.” “Her dog, or her cat, was named ‘Vagina.’ The judge wouldn’t allow us to put that in — all of these things — but with her, they could put in anything: Access Hollywood,” Trump told CNN.
9.  Joe Tacopina, an attorney for Trump, pointed out in May 2023 that Carroll’s entire story has incredible similarities to a 2012 episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. In that episode, titled “Theatre and Tricks,” an individual talks about a rape fantasy in Bergdorf Goodman — the same department store where Carroll claims the incident took place.
10.  Speaking of shows, Carroll loved Trump’s show The Apprentice.
“I was a big fan of the show. Very impressed by it,” Carroll said on the witness stand, adding that she “had never seen such a witty competition on TV, and it was about something worthwhile, competing.”
11.  Carroll made a joke associating sex with Bergdorf Goodman in a November 1993 edition of Elle, which was before the alleged Trump attack took place. As Breitbart News detailed:
Carroll was responding to a letter from a female reader concerned that she was having trouble achieving orgasm through sexual intercourse alone while the reader said that she could climax through foreplay. “Is there any way I could learn to reach orgasm through sex?” asked the reader in the November 1993 edition. “Maybe books I could read?” Carroll replied with the following advice (emphasis added): Dear Snowed Under: Stop flagellating yourself. Gadzooks! At least you have orgasms. And if that isn’t spontaneous sex I don’t know what is. Most women (about 70 percent) experience difficulties climaxing through intercourse alone. So you’re perfectly normal. Begin by reading For Yourself by Dr. Lonnie Barbach. She’ll give you excellent instructions on how to have an orgasm during intercourse. Then after 313 queenhell love-wiggles, move on to Gretta Garbo’s favorite love position – the top. (In erotic scenes, Garbo is always above the man. So are Sharon Stone, Bette Midler and Katherine Hepburn). Indeed, this location works better for women than the fourth floor of Bergdorf’s.
12.  Carroll is financially backed by anti-Trump Democrat megadonor Reid Hoffman, who has openly admitted to visiting convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein’s private island.
13.  Democrat party activists back her as well, as Breitbart News detailed:
Indeed, one of Carroll’s attorneys is Roberta Kaplan — a Democrat Party activist who led the group Time’s Up. She left the activist group after it was revealed she was aiding former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo in attempting to discredit the Democrat’s accusers. It served as a great irony as Time’s Up seeks to defend women from what it claims is discrimination and harassment. This fact has led to mounting speculation that Kaplan only gets involved in cases that she views as politically expedient. Further, Federal District Judge Lewis Kaplan is overseeing the process and has connections to Carroll’s other attorney, Shawn Crowley. She was actually a law clerk for Judge Kaplan, and he officiated her wedding. That aside, Trump has denied knowing the left-wing activist as the only evidence of any contact is a single picture with Carroll greeting Trump and his ex-wife Ivana at an event greeting line over 35 years ago. Carroll has yet to provide solid evidence of this alleged encounter and will not use the dress that she claims had DNA on it from this alleged incident. Even Trump publicly said the dress should be part of the case. Further, there are no eyewitnesses of this alleged incident, which supposedly occurred at the popular New York City department store.
14.  The lawsuit was only able to proceed after Democrats created the Adult Survivors Act in 2022. She conveniently pursued this suit in November following the law going into effect, which allowed her to avoid the statute of limitations for this case.
15.  Carroll once said, “Most people think of rape as sexy.”
Donald Trump Jr. also retweeted a list of facts about Carroll, urging others to take a look:
- She couldn't recall the date, month, season, or year the incident happened -
She never told anyone about it, despite being publicly obsessed with her own sexuality -
The dress she claims to have been wearing didn't exist at the time -
Her description of the dressing room at Bergdorf Goodman was inaccurate, making her sequence of events impossible -
Her lawsuit was bankrolled by Jeffrey Epstein pal and Democrat (and Nikki Haley) mega-donor Reid Hoffman -
Democrats created a law (The Adult Survivors Act in 2022) to enable her lawsuit to proceed - Her accusation is the exact plotline of an episode of Law & Order (one of her "favorite shows") -
Trump's Apprentice was also one of her favorite shows -
She has a history of falsely accusing men of r*pe, including Les Moonves - She told Anderson Cooper, "most people think of r*pe as being sexy. Think of the fantasies." -
She made a career promoting promiscuity, even writing glowingly of sexual assault and naming her cat Vagina
We owe Stalin and Hitler a huge apology. We are ever so bad as they ever were. This isn't Justice. Its punishment for for disobeying the deep state elites.
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I'm going with 10 All Time Classics from the Captain America (MCU) fandom. I mean, they're all classics to me, at least. In no particular order:
1. This, You Protect by owlet
First installment in the Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail series, which are all amazing. It's a “Bucky escaping Hydra and rebuilding his sense of self” fic, which he does while spying on Steve. With eventual Avengers Family and a lovely cast of OCs bonding with Bucky in the meantime. It has a very distinctive perspective and writing style; Bucky's in constant internal (and sometimes accidentally external) dialogue with himself, making it hilarious and tragic all at the same time. I love it. I've recently been getting into The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells and this Bucky has a similar sassy-but-vulnerable vibe? Read this if you like that, anyway.
2. The One Who Knows by Dira Sudis (dsudis)
This is a Political Animals AU, in that no-powers Steve is inserted into the Political Animals world and Bucky is TJ. Discusses being outed and depression but is ultimately hopeful. The author is one of my all time faves and has written lots of great stories for this and many other fandoms.
3. Blue Scales by chaya
Steve is a merman AU. He's still Captain America, though. It's crack with heart, I love it.
Best line: "May your scales and your love story be our weird secret forever.”
4. Our Lingering Frost by eyres
AU where Bucky is rescued from Hydra in the 50s (?) and so is around for Steve to be found.
5. Assets Out of Containment by follow_the_sun
It's a classic to *me*, OK? Bucky goes undercover at Jurassic World just as that movie's plot kicks off. They're Hydra dinosaurs! It's just great. Also has a podfic and crossovers with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
6. Not Easily Conquered (series) by dropdeaddream and WhatAreFears
Some of the greatest fanfiction I've ever read, the whole series is epic. Anyway, it's a "Steve doesn't go into the ice" AU with added queer angst when (never sent) love letters from Bucky resurface. I particularly like the second installment in the series The Thirteen Letters, which are just Bucky's letters and are insanely well-written.
7. to memory now I can't recall by Etharei
Time travel AU! Featuring post-CATWS Bucky accidentally switching places with CATFA era Bucky.
8. If Wishing Made It So by Leveragehunters (Monkeygreen)
Genie!Bucky AU! This author is great at writing AUs with fantasy/genre elements, it was hard to choose. They've also written an excellent werewolf!Steve AU and a horse!Steve AU that I really love.
9. Into That Good Night by Nonymos
An Interstellar AU! Very angsty and tragic but with an eventual happy ending.
10. Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Square by Speranza
Speranza must be one of the best writers in the fandom, so it was hard to pick just one of their fics. Other strong contenders were All the Angels and the Saints and The Fifties, so check those out too! But this one has a special place in my heart. Steve, Tony and Natasha accidentally time travel to WW2 London, leading to an accidental run-in with CATFA-era Bucky. The author does tragic and romantic time travel tropes so well, but with a happy ending.
I now realise that most of these are AUs, so here’s a bonus rec for a non-AU in-universe story that’s severely underrated and deserves more love:
+1
Heart, Have No Pity on this House of Bone by Sena
This story follows Bucky in-action in the Pacific Theatre. It’s very well written and, from what I can tell, well researched. Steve only appears in Bucky’s imagination and the story focuses on the horrors of war rather than romance, but it’s gripping! And it explores unrequited love, being closeted and period-typical homophobia, which I also enjoyed. I’m still holding out hope for a sequel.
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an-idyllic-novelist · 3 months
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Alastor with Violet Evergarden!reader headcanons: daily routine
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warnings: tooth-rotting content, vibes of a semi-domestic life, OOC, established relationship.
Special thanks to @witch-of-the-writing desk and @vikkirosko for their help with this project. Enjoy! :)
Reblog to support content creators! ❤️
Alastor knows that he is a perfect gentleman with high expectations. 
He is one of the most feared overlords in Hell and thrives in the throes of chaos; those unfortunate souls who would dare to question him are torn apart, their screams broadcasted for all to hear and to remind them why he is here. Alastor knows he gets bored easily and doesn’t like to invest his time in short-lived entertainment, heavens no~! He’s here for the continuous, unpredictable acts on the stage of the Hazbin Hotel, that’s why he’s offered his services to Charlie as the gracious facility manager in the first place~!
Funnily enough, it was because of Lucifer’s delusional daughter that he met you. Through a colorful ad, you were given a room under the condition that you participated in all of the group activities unless you worked around the clock like the hotel’s other resident, Angel Dust. You admitted with a blank look that you did have a job in Cannibal Town, but your hours were flexible. 
 Oh~ho, someone new to entertain himself with, what a lovely day it is indeed~!
That had been his initial impression of you: never smiling, an excellent work ethic, and always dressed appropriately [unlike some people]. But as the months slowly trickled by, inching ever closer to the new extermination date and working with you on a near constant basis as facility manager and part-time groundskeeper respectively, you became…important to him. You opened to him about your services in both the Great War and as an Automemory Doll. 
You had done many terrible things that you were not proud of. Initially you had thought by writing letters for clients, helping them convey the words they wanted to say to a loved one, would wash away the blood you had spilt on the battlefield. In the end, it was a foolish endeavor. 
Your sins could not be so easily forgotten, and you had no doubt that some of the men you had killed were down here too, perhaps wanting to seek revenge for what you did. Your place is here in Hell, but that did not mean you could help sinners in your own way if they earnestly wished to redeem themselves.  
It had been a sudden, pesky thing. The moments his feelings for you had altered, whenever that was…irritating to say the least though manageable. Alastor had not even realized that something as trivial as his feelings had changed at all until the small affliction upon his heart festered and grew, bubbling up to the surface and overwhelming him with an emotion he hadn’t identified before. He tried to stifle this emotion, pushing it far back down into the chambers of his rotted heart and forgetting all about it. Prioritize his hunger for freedom, to free himself from the leash coiled tightly around his neck. But all of his efforts were all for naught. No matter how painful it was to admit the truth to himself, Alastor knew. He knew that this desire to call you his companion would not stop clawing through his ribcage until he was absolutely sure that you reciprocate his feelings. 
He tried to approach you with the intention of a proper courtship when romance was not his speciality; he helped you around the hotel excluding the greenhouse because of his special relationship with plants, his shadows secretly escorted you to and from work, and he used his magic to levitate heavy objects even when you had told him that you were quite strong physically. But you had somehow mistaken his intentions as a sign of self-improvement, much to his frustration. 
When all hope seemed lost, however, he found a letter underneath his door one dreary Monday morning. He immediately recognized the ruby-red wax seal as yours and wasted no time opening it. 
He read the contents, eyes growing larger and larger with each line and his heart hammering against his chest, suddenly feeling dizzy…dizzy with what? Shock? Joy? He wasn’t sure but those blasted shadows of his were dancing around the room, jazz music echoing from the swamp with besotted grins stretched across their inky faces. Love? Does he…love you as you love him? Well, your letter did not say it outright, you have confessed to him that you feel intense emotions whenever he is around you. You were bewildered and afraid and you do not blame him in any way. You just…needed help. His help in understanding these emotions before it drove you to the brink of madness and uncertainty. 
Understanding what love is, even the concept of it is just as surreal and foreign to him. But if words could reach you far better than his actions, then it would be an insult to his reputation as the Radio Demon to simply improvise on his courting methods. So he wrote a reply to your letter, carefully and meticulously penning one sentence after another until he was satisfied. His shadows had the honor of delivering his letter, and the silence in his room allowed Alastor to focus preparing for tonight’s broadcast. He couldn’t keep the audience waiting~!
Hours later, he had a script. He had energy and more importantly, he was eager to hear Vox’s outraged howling once the fool realized yet another sponsor had been snatched from right underneath his flat-screened chin~! Oh, Alastor the Radio Demon was ready to go on air until a sudden knock interrupted his little spiel. 
Confused, curious, and quite annoyed, he made a beeline towards the door, throwing it open and ready to skewer the miserable soul who would dare to intrude on his domain when he saw it was you, standing there with a silver tray in your hands. But what surprised him more than the sight of his favorite snacks and coffee was seeing a smile on your face. It wasn’t a forced one where you’d slap your cheeks and try to stretch them out, it was…a genuine smile. And it was directed towards him. 
“May I join you?” You asked.
Suffice to say, those four little words told him everything he needed to know as his own grin widened, bowing from the waist. “Of course, my dear~! Please, come in, come in~! The show is just about to start~!”
Once you stepped inside the radio station, still smiling, that's how it began. His romantic relationship with you, that is. 
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Although you had told him more than once to go back to sleep after rising out of your shared bed at five o’clock in the morning, Alastor insisted on waking up with you. It is his choice as it is your habit to prepare for the day ahead much earlier than your colleagues. He will never say it out loud, but he does enjoy these quiet hours when it is just the two of you. 
Alastor is in charge of making breakfast in the hotel’s brand new kitchen, and that is final. He will appreciate your assistance with setting up the table; meticulously placing the silverware and napkins down, changing out the bouquet of shriveled flowers with fresh ones from the greenhouse, and preparing his coffee just how he likes it in his favorite mug. He gladly prepares your usual morning tea and adds just a little more sliced fruit on your already full plate of eggs, bacon, and toast. You needed all of the energy at the emporium today~! Although you did work here at the hotel, Rosie owned your soul and you were her assistant. You made sure everything in Cannibal Town was running smoothly, including the emporium, should its darling overlord be away from her territory for a myriad of reasons. 
Over breakfast, he would share ideas with you for his broadcast before deciding to put the words on paper. Goodness knows that he’s asked for assistance with typing or refining the scripts mere hours before he’s on the air, though at least he does it with more style than a clout-chasing, mediocre podcast who talks too fast and jumps from one fad to another in pursuit of allure. He hears your feedback with a thoughtful hum before asking if you would like another cup of tea.
After helping him clean up the kitchen, the two of you return to your room. He would read the morning newspapers in his comfy chair, sometimes out loud if the articles were interesting to hear over the click-clank-clank of your Remington typewriter as you wrote either scripts for his show or a daily report for Rosie. When the clock on the dresser struck seven, it was time for you to leave for Cannibal Town.
The two of you exchange words, wishing the other to have a good day and remember to smile because you are never fully dressed without one. Then you leave the hotel, suitcase in one hand and a tin lunchbox in the other. Alastor will also make your midday meals, so make sure to enjoy it to your heart's content. He will not be happy if you decide to forgo taking a proper break just so that you can be ahead of your workload. Granted it is a lovely surprise to see you return much earlier than normal, but Rosie shared his sentiments. Bottom line: take your lunch break when you are supposed to or you will face the disappointed wrath of two cannibals. 
He might have seen that you are more than capable of keeping yourself in the Pentagram, but that will not lessen his protective nature. A shadow will always be by your side when you leave the hotel’s premises, keeping him up to date on your movements while he is helping Charlie or Vaggie. 
Ironically, it is his position as the hotel’s facility manager that acts as his coping mechanism. He will keep himself busy for as long as possible, asking trivial questions here and there. He doesn’t want anyone to know that this…. habit developed because he does not like it when you are not home at exactly six o’clock. He knows Rosie would never keep you in Cannibal Town beyond working hours unless it was an emergency but have mercy on him! If you can't help working late, so be it but please come back to him as soon as you can. It would put his mind at ease just a little if you contacted him ahead of time. 
Once you are home, he will immediately sweep you into his arms and do a little dance before escorting you to the dining room, with a hot meal already prepared and waiting for you to enjoy. He will sit with you so that you won’t have to eat by yourself. Once you’ve had your fill of food and drink, it’s time to unwind for the night. He will play soft jazz over the radio as either you read in bed, or he reads, and you do a tiny bit of work on your typewriter before it’s time for sleep. He won’t fall asleep until you have drifted off first. 
Rosie will tease him about you being his support system over tea, but it’s true. You are the reason, the sanity, to his madness. 
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Taglist: @alastor-simp @frompeach @imperfectbloodmoon @lanxianschoenheit @bones4thecats @22carolina08 @tired-of-life-86 @kanroji-san @oucx @navierkalani @anielly-2010 @victheauthor @the-cat-queen-peasants @solandis-does-stuff @ladydoe8 @nunezs-stuff @luthefriendlywitch @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @kameyo-kumo @yourdoorisunlocked @swallowtail-lotus
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twisted-gremlin · 2 months
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So uhhh
Twisted Wonderland Yandere Purge AU
The ideas here stem from @yanderemommabean and @blughxreader for the og creator and some excellent world biulding- so here I am- just adding this to a gay ass mobile game
Yan Twst students x Reader
Twisted Wonderland, is a... odd world. Filled with magic, odd creatures, and the sort. It's the perfect place for a loner nerd like yourself to be!
The school and the land in itself feels so nostalgic to you. Things that you learn about each town, city, and country, just make all sorts of sence to you.
Then... you got 22 red letters. Grabbing one at random you open it to read the contents of what's inside.
Dear Shrimpy♡
Here we have this thing called the Purge. It's comes from the rose place, so we also do it here since teens tend to often get someone they adore so much that they just rip out the troats of whoever they talk to♡
Whops~ I said the quiet part out loud~
Do wait nicely for me when the day comes, it be soon♡ I can't wait to squeeze you tightly and keep you close forever♡
Love,
Your favorite Eel♡
Ok- the purge. In this fuckin Disney ass world?- do they even own that- I guess they own half of all media so MAYBE- (nope, it's own by Universal)
Opening the other letters there was more talking about this purge, and how that they are going to keep you here forever and keep you safe.
What the fuck?-
Grim was in the corner happily snacking on 22 tuna cans.
"Grim"
"What is it henchman, can't you see I'm haveibg the feast if a lifetime!"
"Uh-huh- and- do tell me- who gave you all that tuna?"
"You know- all the guys that we helped out and kicked the asses of"
"..."
"Yeah- along with Ace and Deuce. They seemed to be getting along- witch was odd'
"Crap they are teaming up- oh no- that means-" others are probably teaming up too-
Not good not good-
Let's see here so it's people that I know-
We have Floyd as 'your favorite Eel' and he called me Shrimpy so obvious giveaway-
Fuck Tsunataro also signed it in his Nickname and called me child of man. He dosent know much about this, so thar could be either safe or very dangerous
Two your queens- oddly enough- but probably Vil and Riddle
One that called me Waifu/Husabando/Spouseu signed by Gloomurai
A big sis/bro/sib from someone, seemingly young so maybe ortho- witch isn't at all good
Two knights, one calling me their dream
One written in shakespirian for whatever reason
... I just realized this one has feathers and a shit ton of money in it and called me their jewl
One of the more scaryer ones just says I'm comeing, dont fight it
And more oddities.
Well, might aswell use that cash that, maybe Kalim? Sent me to get some defense. Or maybe bribe Azul- scraych that, Floyd and Jade are after me.
I don't want to hide in town and get them hurt...
Oh what to do- what to do-
Knock
Knock
Knock
"Child of man?"
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55sturn · 4 months
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✮ SNAP OUT OF IT: CHAPTER 0.01
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series masterlist!
pairings: matt sturniolo x fem!reader [eventually, in this chapter, they are not friends]
synopsis: in which y/n receives the news of her life and she feels on top of the world, as if nothing could bring her down, until she meets her dorm mate, rather, until she re-meets him.
warnings: swearing, mentions of death, cigarettes, drug usage [weed], alcohol consumption, cocky!matt, flirting, bitchy!reader.
important notes: i’ve been so excited to post this! this is going to be slow burn, and updates will be slow as well while i’m in the process of deciding what i want done with back to december, povs will change regularly between reader’s pov, matt’s pov, and third person pov, each pov is vital to the story and each character’s internal battles throughout the series.
playlist for this series! song below for this chapter below!
READER’S POV
my hands shook as i held the letter that determined whether or not i’d have a chance at landing a job in screenwriting or directing, or literally anything the film industry would give me. landing a spot in this course, was extremely tough. it was only open to twenty five students, and there were thousands of applicants to rifle through each semester. it was a prestigious course, and if you excelled in it, the professor would consider sending out a letter of recommendation to any companies he knew were offering an internship. it was such high demand because the professor had a lot of sway when it came to massive filming and production companies, and would often land one of his students their big break.
but in order to apply, at least three years of training under some sort of local theatre was mandatory, the applicants needed to prove that they understood how screenwriting, production, and set or stage management worked, and there was still more that we needed to cover but those were top three areas of experience this course looked at. each applicant needed to prove that they were completely fit for this course and that they genuinely wanted to pursue a career in this field, and if you didn’t show it well enough, you weren’t even added to the consideration list.
it was a tough spot to land, and i would give anything to land a spot in this course. i had fought tooth and nail throughout all of high school to get grades that proved determination and hard work, the only university i ever had in mind was harvard, and if i didn’t get in, i wouldn’t know what to do with my life.
so here i was, freshly twenty-one, and finally holding the letter that led to the rest of my life, good or bad.
“come on you pussy, open it already.” jocelyn groans, she had been my rock throughout the entire application process. she’s been my best friend since we were six and bonded over having the same pencil case when she moved to boston in first grade. however, she’s been a bit callous to the idea of me being nervous about reading this letter. she was the type that barely scraped in high school, and she had decided pretty early that she didn’t want to go to any college or university. she excelled online and had amounted a huge following.
“joce, i love you but please shut up. this is the most important letter i’ve held in my entire life. i’m scared, what if i don’t get in?”
“please bitch, you’ve worked harder than anyone i know, i’m sure you’re going to get in.”
“thanks joce, but i genuinely don’t trust your judgement after the last guy you hooked up with. so i am going to take a shot and then open it.” i laugh, walking over to the cupboard above the fridge, grabbing the bottle of tequila we had bought in preparation for this very moment. i also grabbed two shot glasses from the mini bar-cart we had beside the fridge of our shared apartment, and began pouring a shot for the both of us.
“oh my fucking god. oh my fucking god!” she gasps from behind me, making quickly turn around, only to see that she held the open letter in her hands.
“what?”
“you fucking got in!” she exclaims, causing goosebumps to rise along my skin as i stand and watch her eyes dart back and forth along the page, reading the words aloud.
“dear miss l/n, i am pleased to inform you that the committee on Film and Visual Studies has voted to offer you a place in the Harvard class of 2025. dude you did it!” she beams, her voice full of pride and excitement, causing tears to well along my waterline as i stare at her.
“oh my fucking god, i did it.” i sob, feeling genuinely accomplished for the first time in my life.
“however it does say that the only available dorm situation is co-ed, since you had applied for on-campus living.”
“that’s fine with me honestly.” i shrug, wiping the tears, unable to rid my face of the smile that resides on it.
“alright, let’s take some shots and then start packing the rest of your shit. i can’t believe i’ll be living without for so long, i can finally walk around naked.” she hums, wrapping her arms around my shoulders as i sigh, my arms winding tightly around her waist.
i let out a loud laugh as i grab the bottle of tequila, followed by the two full shot glasses, sliding jocelyn hers as i stare at her.
“you’re acting as if you don’t already do that.”
“touché, however, here’s to my bitch starting her dream career.”
the next few days blew by in a blur as jocelyn and i finished packing everything i wanted to take. she was going to help take my stuff from boston to cambridge. the eight hour drive was going to be brutal, but it was completely doable, especially know that she’d be along the way. instead of driving sixteen hours total, she was going to spend the first night with me, she also wanted to scope out my dorm mate to make sure they’re not a total freak.
“i can’t believe i leave tomorrow.” i sigh, resting my head on jocelyn’s shoulder, the two of sitting on our balcony while she puffed her joint. jocelyn stifles a laugh before straightening out her expression, and turning to me.
“your mom would be so proud of you.” she says, her face blank as the absurd comment leaves her mouth.
“as fucking if.” i snort, rolling my eyes, taking the joint from her fingers, taking a small hit as she laughs.
“she’d probably ask why it took so long to get a response and then tell you that you didn’t try hard enough and that your acceptance letter was a pity letter.”
“probably.” i whisper, handing the joint back to her as i watch the setting sun, feeling a strong tinge of hurt swelling in my chest at the mention of my mom.
her and i never really had a steady relationship, when i was younger she was never really around, she was a big part of the film industry, quite the requested screenwriter, and was always in high demand which meant she didn’t take time to nurture me.
when she was alive and around more during my high school days after she was forced to retire from the spotlight due to her cancer, she was constantly berating me, the high ninety grades and constant participation in local theatre was never good enough. she always said i wasn’t shooting high enough. but she fell deathly ill my senior year, and that was a rough patch for us. i had snapped and told her that i hope she regrets the way she’s treated my entire life, and that i won’t be found at her deathbed. but when that time came, i was the first one to hold her hand and tell her i love her, but the reply never came from her, she just stared at the wall blankly until her boyfriend showed up and then suddenly she was lively as she could be while dying.
but i’ve moved on from that year, and it took a long time and shit ton of therapy to realize that i was never going to be the daughter she wanted, but my dad and my step-mother, melissa, have been as supportive as they could. they’ve been with melissa’s mom in maine for the last two months, helping her with everything after her husband’s passing.
i sigh again as i look at jocelyn, leaning my head back on her shoulder.
“we should probably head back to bed, we’ve got a long ass drive tomorrow.”
“yeah, wanna eat some ice cream first?”
“sure.”
after our ice cream, we finally crashed, both of us only getting about four hours of sleep after having to wake up at nearly six in the morning. we quickly got dressed, and grabbing the last few bags and boxes that needed to be packed into the car before leaving to grab food and drinks. after that, we finally started on our way to cambridge.
the drive was full of numerous stops, causing to get at the dorms around four in the afternoon.
“alright you stay with the cars while i go to the admissions centre and grab my key and i’ll go unlock the door and then we can start.” i hum in joce’s direction through her open window, grabbing my bag off the front passenger’s seat while jocelyn nods, climbing out, and stretching.
“i hope you get a hot roommate, you need a boyfriend.” she calls out, rolling my eyes, and flipping her off.
“i’m walking away i cant hear you!” i call back, following the signs that direct me toward to admissions office, as i enter i nervously approach the lady at the front.
“hi i’m here to pick up my dorm keys, room 496, y/n l/n.”
“here you go! so you’ll want to turn right, then take two lefts and follow the numbered plaques on the wall to the co-ed section of the dorms! and lastly, welcome to harvard!” the older woman chirps, flashing a warm smile that eases my nerves just the tiniest bit as i begin following the directions that she had called out.
as i reach my door, i fish the key from my pocket, quickly shoving it into the keyhole, wanting to get into my dorm as quick as possible. as i’m about to turn the knob, someone clear their throat from behind me, causing me to turn around. and once i meet the eyes of the person standing behind me, i immediately wish that the ground would open up and swallow him whole.
“what the fuck are you doing here?”
“this is my dorm?” he coughs, making my skin crawl at the idea of sharing a dorm for a year with the one person that i genuinely wish didn’t exist in my life.
“there’s no way in hell i’m sharing a dorm with you, matt.”
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© 55STURN 2024 ! REBLOGS NOT EXPECTED BUT GREATLY APPRECIATED ! [ you do not have permission to copy or save or share my work to other platforms and devices! ]
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kbandtrash · 5 months
Text
Less Than Three (Hongjoong x Reader)
~Rachel~
@sorryimananti-romantic hahaha remember how I said I was the slowest writer ever? Apparently that's not true because it only took me a month and a half to write this. I need help
Content: fluff, a whole lot of delusional one-sided pining (the cute kind though) (from him), silly middle school antics from both teachers and students, betting, friends to lovers
Summary: Kim Hongjoong teaches middle school math and finds himself absolutely smitten with you, the math department's newest hire. You're the last person to find out.
Note: This is set in an American-style middle school because that's where my teaching experiences have been and I figured my best work would come out of the system I'm most familiar with
Word Count: 11.5k
Why did Hongjoong choose middle school?
He asks himself this question every day as well
If he wanted to be a math teacher, high school was clearly a better option
But no he had started out in a middle school, promising to take a high school position as soon as one opened up
And now he was actively avoiding high school principals that wanted to recruit him
Is it because he found out the math is easier to explain and the kids really aren’t that bad?
Yeah sure
But this year he had another reason to stay
See his math department had a position open up this summer and as he got to take part in interviews to select a new hire
He fell in love
Now that was not the whole reason he advocated to hire you
In fact your credentials as a math teacher
The places you had taught before
Your praxis exam scores
Your recommendation letters
The professional development programs you were a part of
Test scores from your previous classes
The way you understood math
And especially the way you believed that every student had the potential to pass your class
All of these made you the obvious choice and everyone else agreed
But he was struck several times with Cupid’s arrows throughout the interview and that absolutely did not hurt his opinion of you as a potential colleague
On this particular morning his excuse to talk to you before classes started for the day was a test for your 7th graders
Which they would be taking next Friday
Your feedback always ended up being valuable anyway so there was no need for this to be an “excuse” but it got to be one anyway
You were typing something up when he knocked on the open door to your classroom to announce his presence
You finished typing your sentence before you looked up, and when you saw Hongjoong leaning against the door frame with some papers in his hand, you greeted him with a smile and a wave
He wondered if it would look unprofessional if he grew out his hair to cover his ears
You looked gorgeous today (every day) and he knew there was no stopping his ears from turning bright red
“I have the unit tests for 7th,” he said, stealing a chair from a desk to sit backwards on while he talked to you
“Oh good!” you replied. “I’ll take a look at those and get them back to you by lunch”
Buy lunch he thought
That sounded like an excellent idea
He should buy you lunch
He didn’t say that though
“Works for me. How was your weekend?”
And he stalled and stalled and stalled until the first bell rang and he had to get out to hall duty
At lunch he walked in again while you were putting in assignment scores and munching on some pretzel sticks
“I made a key for that new assignment we decided to add for 8th grade. Can you check answers if you get the time?”
His heart did a little flip as you covered your mouth with your hand while you finished chewing
How could you be so graceful and polite?
And your hands were so pretty wow
“Yes just as soon as I finish putting these in. And—” you turned your chair around and grabbed something from behind you— “here are the 7th tests from this morning. I added a couple notes on the integer operations review questions, but other than that, I think they’re great”
He unfortunately did need to go and eat his own lunch and fulfill other teacherly lunchtime duties so he couldn’t stall as much as this morning
But he read your notes on the way back to his classroom
And boy he could have lived in your handwriting
The pen that you used was the perfect instrument to capture every letter, every dot, every loop in a way that encapsulated your personality
And as soon as he caught himself thinking that he knew he needed to ask the home ec teacher to smack him over the head with a frying pan because wowie
He would need professional help in order to date you like a normal person at this point
Anyway he was practically skipping back after lunch because he came up with another question to ask you
There were students there so instead of using your first name he caught your attention by calling you Miss (L/N)
Which for some reason gives him more butterflies than calling you normally
This time luckily instead of giving you a new task it was a task he could do for you
“How many copies of the activity page should I put you down for?”
“Ooh good question”
You put your finger over your lips as you counted on your other hand and he had to actively look away and think about other things
There were students present after all
“Which classes are you doing it with?” you ended up asking
He used the opportunity to set a hand down on your desk and lean forward in a cool pose
“I’m making the eighth graders do it but it’s extra credit for the seventh”
“That sounds like a good plan to me. So sixty for the eighth graders and then how many do you think I would need if it’s optional?”
Oh boy he loved it when you asked for advice
It gave him the chance to look cool and smart and he always got to play it off as the humble senior teacher
“I do half just to be safe. Plus then you have extra if you want to do it again later in the year or even next year”
And then your face did that thing it did when you liked a suggestion he gave
Your face lit up with your eyebrows raised and your mouth in a little “ooh”
There were students around there were students around
“Okay then sixty for the eighth graders and forty-five for seventh. A hundred and five?”
He scribbled the number down on the copy request form
“Excellent. I’ll run this down then”
He gave you a smile and a wave as he went to attend to his own class
Which you returned
And he was sure his heart would never physically recover from the stress it was under this year
You didn’t need to know that you were the only other teacher he was sharing this particular activity page with
He would give it to the other teachers if they asked him for it but he wasn’t going to go out of his way for this one because it was kind of silly and short
But he would do anything to make your first year at a new school just a little bit easier
Back in his classroom he tried to get class started when one of his eighth graders had the audacity to raise his hand and say the following:
“You just walked back from Miss (L/N)’s class huh?”
Mr. Kim squinted suspiciously at the student
“Yeah…why”
“You’re way nicer when you go to her class before our class starts”
Before he had any time to figure out what that meant, the class exploded in giggles and shouts of agreement
“Yeah you smile a lot more this year than you did last year” a girl who had had his class the previous year as well agreed
And then from the back corner
One of the notorious trouble makers stood up
Pointed his finger up at poor Mr. Kim, who was now considering taking a high school position again
And shouted “Mr. Kim has a crush on Miss (L/N)!!!”
There was no longer any hope for this class
Exponent rules? Down the drain
Hongjoong was now a laughingstock
Irredeemable in front of a bunch of 13-14 year olds
So he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, lips pursed, and his eyes dangerously blank
It wasn’t long before kids started shushing each other
Even once they were quiet, he held their attention for a second longer
“If you have two to the fourth times two to the third, what’s the product?” he asked clearly, writing the problem on the whiteboard in new black marker
Not addressing the issue would not stem the tide of curious teenagers for long but it would have to be a band-aid solution until he figured out how to do this properly
Because he couldn’t allow rumors to spread that he liked you because firstly unprofessional and secondly what if you heard them and thought he was weird
But he couldn’t lie and allow rumors to spread that he definitely didn’t have a crush on you because firstly. unprofessional kids don’t need to know about that stuff
Like they think they’re all mature and old enough to date when they can’t even drive yet like can you imagine as a teenager asking your mom to drive you to your date with your girlfriend. Embarrassing
BUT SECONDLY
What if you heard the rumors and maybe you did like him back and it crushed your heart to hear that he didn’t like you
While the kids were working on their assignment and he was working on his computer he decided the best way to explain this to them
If they ever brought it up again
Was that they’re always in a better mood when they get to talk to their friends, right?
You’re a good friend and it’s fun working with you
The other math teachers are fun too but you’re close to his age so it makes sense that you would be closer
Yep
Good explanation Mr. Kim
Literally just one day later the kids bring it up again and they do not buy his explanation
They don’t even pretend to because their brains are not developed enough to have that kind of social tact
And the rumor doesn’t exactly spread like wildfire around the school but everyone knows about it you know what I mean
Except you actually
You’re usually very aware of everything going on in your classroom but somehow this particular subject escaped your attention
You learned early on that for some reason kids don’t have shame anymore in spilling their guts to the classroom about what they’re gossiping about
So the usual “if you can’t wait to tell your friend later then tell the whole class now” classroom management tactic is now useless
So you didn’t do that instead you just asked them which problem they’re helping their friend with and if they’re not helping their friend with math then they should get back on task
You didn’t think that any middle school level gossip could actually be that interesting anyway so yeah you had no idea that kids were shipping the teachers
And you didn’t want to know
So you stayed blissfully ignorant
While Hongjoong was lowkey agonizing over it
Now you and Hongjoong tend to eat lunch in your own classrooms rather than the staff lounge
Because why use up any more social energy than necessary right
But there is a vending machine in the staff room and Hongjoong was craving something sweet one day
And when he walked in the other teachers in there suddenly went awkwardly silent
And he knew
They were talking about him
Yeah he should take a high school position next year
Two of the younger teachers, Jung Wooyoung from the history department and Choi San from the phys ed department, broke the silence giggling to each other
“Sorry Hongjoong” San apologized “the kids are just hilarious these days. They’re so excited about you and (Y/N) it’s adorable”
Hongjoong gave them a look
“Adorable?”
“Well firstly you” Wooyoung pointed out “I never thought I’d see you fall head over heels but I totally get it. She’s super cool”
“And secondly the kids” San continued “any time you guys are talking in the hall I have all of the girls talking about it during warm ups. The boys all think of you as their role model when it comes to liking a girl”
“That reminds me!” Wooyoung interrupted “I actually did have a boy confess to a girl in my class the other day and you wanna know what he told her??”
Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed in a glare, absolutely sure that his reputation was never going to recover
“He said ‘I like you more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”
The teachers tried to tone down their laughter out of respect
Hongjoong wanted to leave immediately but this stupid vending machine was having issues
“And then you know what she said back?”
Wooyoung was having trouble holding himself together
His eyes were shining a little with tears of laughter
“She said ‘That’s impossible. No one can like anyone more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”
The other teachers could not hold it back anymore
The vending machine finally gave Hongjoong his candy bar
(Plus the extra one he bought for you)
So he made his way swiftly back towards the door
“Oh no no wait” Wooyoung called after him
“Tests to grade” Hongjoong lied simply
“No come on you have to hear this”
Hongjoong stopped at the door, fighting the urge to classroom manage his coworkers
He looked back both unimpressed and expectant at the same time
“Okay everyone raise your hands if you betted on before Christmas break” Wooyoung called out
Some of the teachers looked at him like he had just asked out a widow at her husband’s funeral
But they raised their hands sheepishly anyway
“Great yes and after Christmas break?”
The other half raised their hands, most of them looking like they wished that had eaten lunch in their own classrooms
“These are bets on when you’re going to ask her out” Wooyoung explained cheerfully
“Wasn’t someone also trying to get bets going on whether you would confess first or she would notice first?” San asked
“That was also me” Wooyoung said with a grin
The lounge door opened again and in walked the principal and one of the vice principals
Hongjoong thought this was finally the end to this stupid conversation
But no
“Oh Hongjoong!” the principal greeted him with a pat on the arm “I’ve got $50 on you dating before Christmas. Don’t let me down”
Waiting until the end of the school year to take a new position would simply not be soon enough
Hongjoong needed to find a new job or retire within the month
But then on the way back to his classroom he remembered he had an extra candy bar for you
So he made a detour
But what greeted him was a closed door with the window on the door covered
He hadn’t ever seen your door shut like this before so he wasn’t sure what it meant exactly
Maybe you went out to lunch today?
Then he could just nab one of your sticky notes and leave the candy bar on your desk with a positive message
He would rather give it to you himself, but the idea of you finding the candy bar on your desk later made his chest feel all warm and cozy so it was fine
Your door was unlocked, so he pulled it open just enough so he could see inside
And you were in there actually
Slumped in your desk chair with your head in your hands
Oh
Oh no
Hongjoong had been there before
Every teacher had been there before
The work of a teacher isn’t as easy as most people would like to believe
Especially for middle school, and even more so for math, it takes someone with unending patience and courage to help kids learn every day
And some days that patience and courage runs a little thinner than other days
Even experienced teachers wonder from time to time if it’s worth the soul that they give to their classes
The classes that seem sometimes not to notice one way or the other if you’re teaching or not
You hadn’t noticed that you weren’t quite alone anymore, so that left Hongjoong with a choice to make
Did he let you have this moment to yourself?
Or did he try to help you through it?
He closed the door as softly as he could
And then he gave a little knock to give you some privacy and some time to gather yourself
Then he opened the door and stepped halfway through
“The vending machine spat out two candy bars instead of one” he lied with a grin, holding up the extra candy bar and wiggling it between his fingers
You had sat up and were resting your chin on your hand curiously
But there was definitely a downtrodden aura about you that he couldn’t miss
“That’s pretty lucky,” you replied
He took that as permission to enter and on his way to your desk he snagged his usual chair to sit backwards on
“How’s today going so far?” he asked as if he knew nothing, setting the candy bar down on top of your closed computer
“Oh, you know,” you sighed
He chuckled, opening his candy bar, not making eye contact with you to relieve some pressure for you to keep up an act
“That good, huh?”
You laughed in return
“Just got my butt kicked by a bunch of seventh graders, so yeah, it’s kind of whatever right now”
Ah the teacher equivalent of “I want to quit my job and hide in my bed for the rest of my life”
“Oh, yep, I’ve been there more than once” he said with a nod “and sometimes there’s really nothing you could have done better, you know? Kids are just like that sometimes. It makes me glad I’m not an elementary school teacher”
“Oh my word yes” you agreed, finally picking up the candy bar “at least I can kick these gremlins out after 45 minutes and I don’t have to see them again until the next day. I can’t imagine being with the same class all day”
Did Hongjoong end up squandering his entire eating time just to talk with you and make sure you felt better?
Yes
He would have to sneak bites of his sandwich in between activities during his afternoon classes
But like it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do that and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last
At least he had a good reason today instead of something stupid like he was lost in the test grading sauce and forgot to eat
He proceeded to get his butt kicked by his afternoon classes because he couldn’t wipe his lovefool smile off his face
But it was okay because once again it wasn’t the first time and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last
Not long after came the hallowed and hated teacher inservice day
Professional development day
Both a huge waste of time and a relaxing little work day
The administrators usually planned a series of workshops for the morning that all looked. well. kind of stupid but it was all planned with good intention
Then it was lunch time
And then after that you had until the end of contract hours to do whatever pretty much
The math department liked to go to lunch together and then have a really productive planning meeting until people got bored and then it was individual prep time pretty much
Mostly it was just kinda nice to be at school without kids there
This year was no exception to all of this
But Mr. Principal had $50 on the line and decided to play matchmaker about it
For each of the workshops the teachers were split into groups
And you and Hongjoong had been placed together every single time
Somehow you genuinely thought it was just good luck
Hongjoong was hyperaware of every other teacher looking and pointing and giggling and you were so peacefully oblivious to it
The first workshop was about medical emergency training, specifically training teachers in case of allergy or diabetic emergencies
As soon as the nurse finished with the epipen instructions you leaned over to Hongjoong and whispered “like this?” 
And stabbed him with the fake epipen right in the thigh
Hongjoong swore he was going to die right then and there because why was that so attractive???
“Four…five…six…seven…eight…” you counted out, holding the epipen in place for the full ten seconds
And like a good patient he sat like a statue because his circuits were absolutely fried
You glanced up at his face and your expression immediately dropped
You checked the epipen all over to make sure it was just a trainer
(It was)
“Hongjoong are you okay?? Your face is all red did I do something wrong?” you worried
He unfroze and tried to undo the damage of his Little Moment but the nurse was already over at the table taking a closer look at him after dismissing the rest of the teachers to practice
She looked at you and then at Hongjoong and then at you again and back at Hongjoong and a funny look of understanding came over her face
“Are you Mr. Kim the math teacher” she asked
He nodded awkwardly
“And are you Miss (L/N) the math teacher” she asked
“Yes?” you answered
She patted Hongjoong on the shoulder
“He’ll be fine in a minute or so” she reassured you, glancing up and away somewhere else
You both followed her gaze over to the principal, who gave her a bright smile and a thumbs up
Which looked innocuous enough to the untrained eye
But to Hongjoong this was just another in a long list of embarrassments
The principal had told the guest workshop speakers about him
And he had been spotted that easily
After that was administration-provided snack time
Hongjoong offered to grab sodas if you would grab chips and stuff
And at the soda table he was greeted by Wooyoung and San, who called him affectionately Mr. Traffic Light
Hongjoong resisted the urge to react publicly
Even though there were no children around he refused to allow himself to be caught cursing them out
But he brainstormed violently about the ways he could get back at them without getting caught
Truly his middle school teacher powers of ignoring were activated because those two were practically dancing around him trading one-liner after one-liner and Hongjoong paid them no mind
Until he realized they were following him back to the table where he was sitting with you
He did not need them teasing him around you so he tried to shoo them off
But Wooyoung gleefully turned his attention up to the projector screen where the groupings for the next workshop were displayed
Truly your presence was the only saving grace this day had to offer
They were in this group with you two
The computer teacher/school tech support guy was leading this workshop and he was showcasing how one might use ai in their classroom
And all four of you were totally zoned out because firstly ai in a math classroom?? For what
Chat bots are notoriously bad at math
Ai in San’s gymnasium? Once again no practical application
And Wooyoung honestly just wasn’t that interested because none of you were listening so he didn’t feel like he had to either
So he decided flirting with you was more fun
Just to make Hongjoong mad
But for all of his whispered pick up lines and compliments you had approximately the same response as to this ai workshop:
Playing gamepigeon with Hongjoong under the table
(Which Hongjoong had initiated by the way)
(And you had perpetuated after destroying him at the mini golf game)
Aka you ignored Wooyoung pretty well
So Hongjoong got to glare over at him with the peace of mind that your attention was fully his right then
San tapped your shoulder and asked for your number
Which you gave him a little too easily for Hongjoong’s continued peace of mind
But then San just made a group chat for the four of you to play uno together for the remainder of the workshop
So Hongjoong decided that actually this setup wasn’t so bad
The last workshop was unfortunately much more important so the four of you couldn’t continue slacking off
The principal was running this one and it was genuinely for the betterment of the school environment
Plus San and Wooyoung were sent off to other groups
So it was the two of you and a few other senior teachers that were going to have a discussion about one of the behavior initiatives that the school was trying out
You were the only two math teachers in the group, so when the principal passed out data that had been collected about this behavior initiative, the other teachers sort of automatically passed the papers to you
(And the science teachers in the group but that’s irrelevant)
There was only one copy of each dataset, so that meant you got to share
And that meant that you got to scoot your chairs close together to look at the paper at the same time
And even better the text was kind of small so you had to bring the papers close to your faces to read them
So the two of you were shoulder to shoulder
Practically cheek to cheek, your heads almost touching
To read this data and explain it to the less number-savvy teachers
Today was actually pretty fantastic so far, Hongjoong thought
He also wondered if you could physically feel the heat coming off of his face but that was not something he was going to let bother him right then
He was going to live in the moment
And perhaps thank the principal later
After a surprisingly productive and insightful discussion
It was finally ~lunch time~
The math department gathered up in the department head’s classroom to decide which of the nearby restaurants to choose to go to
And no one could agree
Not a single person was feeling like eating the same thing
Except Hongjoong he was agreeing with whatever you said
Not just because he wanted you to have your way but because whatever you said sounded good to him too
Maybe it sounded good because you said it but nonetheless
And then the department head said the following fateful words:
“How about you two just go ahead and we’ll try to decide on something for the rest of us
Hongjoong was suspicious right then and there that this was a setup
The department head probably had money on Before Christmas
But Hongjoong was absolutely not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers
“I’m cool with that” you answered before Hongjoong could gather his thoughts enough to say anything
Then you turned to him
“I need to go grab my purse from my classroom. Do you need anything from yours?”
“Oh, yeah, just my wallet” he answered totally on autopilot
You stopped by your classroom first and then his since his was closer to the front of the school
He was so excited to finally realize that dream of his from a few weeks back
He was gonna buy you lunch
And not only that it was just the two of you going out to lunch
It didn’t matter that this wasn’t a date
Or that technically you were just gonna buy food and eat it back at school
It was special to him to go somewhere with just you 
That wasn’t school
Seriously he was so happy he couldn’t stop smiling when he told the cashier that your orders were together and he was going to pay
You kinda elbowed him and told him he didn’t have to do that
But he just shrugged and turned his smile on you
“But I wanted to” he replied
You accepted that
“It’s on me next time” you promised
And oh man he could have died right there he felt so complete
Except if he died then there would be no next time
But you were saying next time and it made him think that wow yeah this would happen again
You meant if it ever happened again but he was determined that it was a certain for the future
Because even if it didn’t happen by chance then he would make it happen himself
When you got back to the school the rest of the math department was gone so you started eating without them
And that was a magical moment of peace too
Just the two of you
No one around to tease Hongjoong
He could almost pretend you were just normal friends and he wasn’t head over heels for you
Then the rest of the department came back and they all had food from the same restaurant
So Hongjoong had been right to be suspicious earlier
It was most definitely a setup to get the two of you by yourselves
And he liked it so he wasn’t going to complain about it
Even though it was embarrassing
Well as fun as professional development day ended up being
Parent teacher conferences were not
Hongjoong was looking forward to more Mr. Principal shenanigans
Like maybe when all the teachers were in the gym yours and his table could be next to each other
And he could talk to you when neither of you had any parents
And when the night was wrapping up
And he could walk you out to your car because it was dark
And maybe treat you to dinner because the school-provided food wasn’t usually that great
But no
None of that could happen
Because someone had decided to have teachers stay in their classrooms for conferences this year
The parents would have the wonderful opportunity to get lost in their child’s school trying to find all of their classes
What a joke
They were probably going to get so many complaints they would switch it back to normal next semester
But the one time Hongjoong was looking forward to parent teacher conferences
Of course
Was the one time they had to switch it up
The one silver lining in this was the teachers complaining about it together
Hongjoong’s favorite email he had ever received was now from Wooyoung
Who was replying to the email notifying teachers of the different setup this year but just to Hongjoong
In all lowercase:
“hey loverboy u see this crap
math teacher romancephobic fr smh”
And then with his full professional email signature at the bottom
This precious email was moved to Hongjoong’s funny emails folder, which was usually reserved for unhinged student emails
He did not reply to it
San and the other phys ed teachers were joking about how nice it would be to have the gym to themselves for once but they were in agreement that this probably wouldn’t last
Of course the math department had tests scheduled across all the grades right before conferences
Which of course left everyone grading like crazy
And of course the kids trashed the classrooms the day before
And of course the head janitor ended up getting sick
So it was up to the teachers to make sure their classrooms didn’t look like trash
Even though they had 150+ tests to grade and a pile of late work to grade
And they had 24 hours (7 of which were going to be spent teaching, and hopefully 7-8 would be spent sleeping) to make this all work before parents started showing up at 4 o’clock tomorrow afternoon
What a time this was going to be
So Hongjoong picked up his pile of tests and went to your classroom
Predictably you were grading tests
He stole a student desk and moved it close to your desk
“Which tests are you working on?” he asked
“Eighth” you replied, not looking up from the test you were currently grading
“How does this sound” he began “I’ll take your seventh and you take my eighth so we don’t have to switch answer keys?”
Still barely looking up, you handed him three binder-clipped stacks of paper
“As long as you don’t mind working to music” you replied, your eyebrows raising as a little smile played on your lips
He took your tests and handed you his eighth grade tests
(This worked out nicely as you both had three classes of seventh and two classes of eighth. He was tricking you into letting him take the heavier load ohoho so sneaky)
(He was just lucky you were grading eighth instead of seventh first)
“Don’t mind?” he snickered, uncapping his favorite felt-tip grading pen “I’d prefer it”
And that’s how speed grading turned into karaoke
Grading went almost certainly slower than it would have if you had worked alone but it was way more fun this way
Of course he ended up with sixty some more tests to grade than you
So when you finished you left for a bit and came back with snacks
As well as his pile of late work
He tried to protest but no no
“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are Mr. Kim” you teased him “You thought you could fool a math teacher into thinking we had an equal workload here?”
“That wasn’t the point” he whined, trying to put the cap back on his pen and inking his finger instead
“Then what was the point?”
I love you that’s the point
But what was the point actually
What was a point he could believably tell you without giving himself away
“Just…because” he said convincingly, shrugging his shoulders and settling back into his tests “You look stressed these days. Wanted to do something nice I guess”
You brandished his late work stack again
“So I’m going to do something nice too”
Yeah he probably wouldn’t ever feel this way about anyone ever again
For him at this point it was you or nothing
But the problem was he was willing to let it be nothing for far too long
He would never make a single move unless he knew you were okay with it
Because if he and his stupid heart ruined whatever you had going now then it would really be nothing
He wouldn’t give up the something he still had
He was like a curve approaching an asymptote
He could get infinitely close, but he would never actually touch you
After settling your gradebooks for tomorrow you started by picking up your classroom together
This did go faster with music by the way
And then you picked up his classroom together
And then he realized Hongjoong realized he could have his wish
The one about walking you out to your car and taking you out to dinner
Walking you out was easy but taking you out was another story
He would have to suggest it himself
A little known fact about teachers is that they became teachers because they don’t know how/don’t want to talk with other adults
Kids don’t judge you if something comes out of your mouth a little different than you meant it
Other adults are mean and judge you over silly things
This unfortunately meant that he didn’t know how to ask you to go to dinner with him without making it sound like a date
He was kinda just hoping a lil Kdrama moment would happen and one of your stomachs would rumble really loud so he could laugh it off and say you should go eat together
But you got closer and closer to your car and no tummy rumbling
You got to your car and no tummy rumbling
You opened your door and said goodbye and still no tummy rumbling
“Wait!!!”
He could have slapped his own mouth
You were a little startled but it stopped you from getting in your car
“Hmm?”
“Just uh…it’s kinda late and snacks are great but they’re not that filling…so do you wanna um…” he trailed off and did not finish his thought
“Wanna what?” you asked
Big boy pants Hongjoong come on
“Go grab dinner? Or something?” he finally spat out
He must not have seen your face light up in the dark
“No pressure” he added when you didn’t answer within 0.05 seconds
“No that sounds great! I was thinking of grabbing something on the way home anyway and it would be way more fun to do it with someone else” you accepted
He let you pick the place again and you drove separately because after you would be going in different directions
But it ended up being a nice little fast casual restaurant
And it didn’t feel like a date really but it kinda felt like a date but no it didn’t
It just ended up being a comfortable little outing between friends
Hongjoong knew he couldn’t stop smiling
And he wondered if you already knew how he felt about you
He was sure he didn’t smile like this at anyone else
And you were many things but dense couldn’t possibly be one of them
He knew he was the opposite of subtle
But if you were willing to spend time with him like this then that meant he didn’t make you uncomfortable
Honestly he was so used to the way you made him feel at this point that loving you from afar felt like second nature
Being friends with you was enough if he could keep loving you like this
The waiter came by and asked if it was one check or two
And Hongjoong was fully prepared to pay once again
But you beat him to it
You were already prepared with your card and everything
“I owe you for last time, remember?” you told him with a cheeky grin
He shook his head
“You don’t owe me anything”
“Well then next time it’s on you”
Hongjoong started to smile again
“Next time?”
“Well, yeah” you said with a shrug, now a little bashful “This was fun. We should keep doing it”
“It is fun” he agreed with a laugh “It’s nice to hang out with people outside of school for once”
You laughed at that
“Oh boy tell me about it. Nobody told me that teaching would ruin my social life”
And things just kind of continued like that for a while
Before you had come to the school, Hongjoong had lowkey felt like he was kind of going nowhere with his life
Any time he spent at school outside of his contract hours felt like an infringement on his personal time
Or not even at school, just away from home
He had been hoping that taking a high school position would give him back a little bit of the passion for teaching that he was losing
He hadn’t even been teaching that long it’s just that the profession really is like that
Indescribably rewarding and incredibly draining all at the same time
(Especially these days. Sometimes you really wonder if it’s worth it)
But having something to look forward to every day besides a favorite class ended up being what he needed to love his job wholeheartedly again
It wasn’t just you he had fallen in love with
He had also found new friends in an unlikely place
The math department was like family and he enjoyed their company dearly
But that weirdo phys ed teacher and obnoxious history teacher had turned into excellent friends frighteningly fast
Sometimes they joined you and Hongjoong on your dinner outings
And honestly it was such a blast
An amendment to my previous statement about teachers being teachers because they don’t like talking to other adults:
Other teachers often do not count as other adults
Sometimes they do when you have to have grown up conversations
But gossiping about students does not count as grown up conversation
There were some eighth graders that all four of you had
Hongjoong not currently but he’d had them for previous classes and they were now in your class
Was it a little embarrassing as 20 somethings to have your main source of gossip be preteens?
Yeah but oh man there is nothing like finding out which of your students are lying to their other teachers about the work they need to do
Or what they’re like in other classes
(You and Hongjoong, and sometimes Wooyoung, tended to have very different opinions about some students than San did so it was double fascinating)
Who they’re friends with outside of your class
Or crushes they have on each other
Basically if you spend every day around preteens you gossip like them too
It was now November and starting to get uncomfortably cold outside
So San had offered his home as a little gathering space for you all to order food and hang out
It was almost like a little Friendsgiving
“Any of you have (male student name, obnoxious connotation)?” Wooyoung asked, taking a sip of his soda
You immediately scoffed
“I’m about to write an email home about that kid”
Hongjoong was surprised
Annoying kids existed in every class but you usually had something nice to say about them at first at least before you got into the bad behavior
He hadn’t had this particular student but he was intrigued as to why he annoyed you so much
Wooyoung and San also both looked surprised
“He’s great in gym—like cooperative, doesn’t do stupid stuff too often—” San said “but that doesn’t usually mean anything about how they are in math class”
“No he’s great in history too” Wooyoung added “finishes all his work on time, helps his friends with theirs if he finishes”
Your eye might have twitched a little bit
You let out an unamused laugh and crossed your arms over your chest
Hongjoong was fascinated and quite enamored with this new side of you
“If he has time to help his friends then he should be working on the seven late assignments I’ve been reminding him about. He hasn’t turned in anything for two weeks”
Wooyoung gasped and covered his mouth
“You’re joking”
“I’ve talked to him about it twice and I warned him if I had to remind him a third time then I would email his parents” you said, shaking your head “Like I asked him if he’s understanding the material, if he’s got something going on at home, if he needs some help, and he’s giving me nothing to go off of”
Wooyoung smiled devilishly
“He’s been lying to me, then. I ask him every day if he has other classes to do stuff for and he says no. I will absolutely be getting on him about that”
San shook his head
“Teenagers” he sighed
Everyone nodded and repeated what he’d said
“Teenagers.”
After a moment of silence, Hongjoong spoke up
“How about (female student name, pleasant connotation)?”
The mood lifted immediately and everyone gave their own version of the word “aww”
“She is the highlight of my whole day” you said
“Seriously she’s so polite and she tries so hard even when she’s having a hard time” Wooyoung agreed
“Super athletic too” San added
“Ooh and (male student name, pleasant connotation)?” you said to another chorus of agreement “He’s kind of a punk sometimes but he’s another one that always does his best”
Hongjoong smiled
Complaining was fun, but he loved the light in your eyes when you talked about the parts of the job that you loved
Anyway as I said it was November and the Before Christmas faction of teachers was starting to get nervous because there was no sign of anything happening
They saw you walk out together more than usual but they didn’t know that you were meeting up outside of school and stuff
The kids were also more riled up about it than usual
To the point where Hongjoong wondered if the other teachers were inciting chaos on purpose
It was getting bad enough that one of his classes almost failed a test across the board—on a unit about rounding and converting fractions to decimals of all things
As in the easiest math ever
So Mr. Kim had to resort to drastic measures
At the beginning of all his classes, he drew a box on the edge of the whiteboard
“This is the nonsense box” he explained with a teacherly smile
That is to say frustrated but still filled with love for his students
“Every time one of you is talking about anything that is not related to class, a tally mark goes in the box. Each tally mark represents an extra fifteen seconds you get to sit in your seat after the bell rings”
A chorus of protest arose
“I don’t want to hear it” Mr. Kim shook his head “How many of you are planning on retaking last Friday’s test?”
About half of the hands in the room came up sheepishly
“Exactly. It’s because we’re constantly off topic that no one is able to listen and learn in here. We can do better, okay?”
And then immediately from the back of the room
“Ooh, Miss (L/N) just passed in the hall!!!”
And chorus of “Ooooooh”
Whether it was true or not, Hongjoong was happy to draw his first tally mark without a word
Just that same teacherly smile
Another round of protest came and he drew another one
After the third tally mark, they shut up
“Good. Let’s talk about coefficients. Has anyone heard that word before?”
Once again I will say it was November
And the month after November is December
And December is the month of Christmas
Not just Christmas break
But Christmas itself
And that meant that Hongjoong now
After coming back from a brief Thanksgiving break
Had only a few weeks to find you a Christmas present
Now he wasn’t thoughtless like this wasn’t the first time it had crossed his mind
It had just stressed him out wondering if he would have the guts to confess his feelings for you or if he would be outed somehow first
Plus in case y’all didn’t know teaching (especially teaching around the holidays) is stressful
He just imagined Christmas as this far off date that was too good to ever come
And so he hadn’t even had time to think about what to get you
Something for your classroom?
Something for your home?
A cute accessory?
A fun math shirt?
Not a gift card though that was far too impersonal
Nothing seemed good enough for you
If he were to deliver his feelings with a gift like any of these, it felt insufficient
Most lunches the last bit of November and the first week of December
(If not spent pestering you)
He spent fretting over his Amazon cart with his head in his hands
And then the most unfortunate miracle occurred
The heaters toward the math hall decided working at full capacity was a waste of tax dollars
And the weather was shaping up to be quite uncomfortable
Everyone started to bring blankets and stuff but it was never quite enough
Your classroom was especially cold, since it was the farthest down the hall
So Hongjoong was gifted an opportunity
He went and found one of those soft and cozy electric blankets
In a color he assumed to be your favorite considering how much you wore it and how many of the little trinkets around your classroom were that color
And he packaged it like he had meant to give it to you for Christmas anyway
Then he brought it for you the next day
You were sitting at your desk in your full winter outdoor gear with a blanket that did look cozy but thankfully was not electric
And your teeth were practically chattering as you waved hello
He still hadn’t taken off his coat or his gloves either actually
He set the present on your desk
“I was saving this for Christmas but I think you might need it more now” he told you with a grin
Your curiosity was suddenly piqued
You opened the gift cautiously, glancing up at him every few seconds
But as soon as you felt the material of the blanket, you perked up
And upon discovering that it was electric you could have cried
“I haven’t been able to feel my fingers since last week” you told him gratefully “Seriously I was trying to figure out how many space heaters I would need to buy to survive the winter”
“The department head has one in her classroom” he said “If you grab your old blanket and your laptop then you can let your new blanket heat up here while we hang out over there”
What a beautiful suggestion
The department head raised her eyebrow at the two of you coming in with blankets
But she smiled too when she saw you settling down in front of her heater
“Don’t tell anyone” she said “but sometimes I take a nap over there during lunch”
“Oh I see exactly why” you agreed, sitting cross-legged and setting your computer in your lap “I can literally feel my bones thawing out”
Hongjoong settled down a respectable distance from you
But he thought someone else was pranking him when he felt a blanket drape over his shoulders
He looked around, startled, and then he realized it was the other side of your blanket
You had thrown your blanket over him to share, even though he had one of his own
And now you were pulling his arm to get him to scoot closer to you
Was this a dream??
He would not be happy if his alarm rang
But no it was real and he happily obliged
You were sitting shoulder to shoulder again
Just like at the professional development workshop
Except this time it was so warm and cozy and there was definitely a much less professional vibe
The department head raised her eyebrow at you once again
But Hongjoong was way too enamored with your shy smile to notice
After just a few minutes in this cozy little haven
Your time was unfortunately cut short
Not by students arriving to school
But by Wooyoung poking his head into the classroom
“Oh I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys”
He stepped into the classroom and greeted its owner accordingly
She nodded as if to allow him permission to enter
“They have hot chocolate down in the teachers lounge” Wooyoung informed them “I figured you icicles back here in the freezer rooms would want some but it looks like you were hiding a—” he looked down at the two of you skeptically “campfire back here”
Wooyoung clearly thought he meant something by that but no one else knew what he was trying to say
So his last comment went ignored
“Do you want hot chocolate?” Hongjoong asked you “I can go get some for us”
“No it’s okay I’ll go with you” 
Oh Wooyoung saw exactly what was going on here
Hongjoong did not
Hongjoong was a little confused—was his help becoming an awkward burden to you?
While Wooyoung saw the truth
You just wanted the excuse to walk with him
Now Wooyoung had two choices
He could step back and let you two walk down together, maybe say something to speed this math teacher romance along
Or he could third wheel
And who was Wooyoung if he didn’t pass up the chance to annoy?
Plus he had taken an oath once he started collecting bets that he wouldn’t try to swing the competition one way or another
And since telling you about the hot chocolate while you were together felt like pushing the competition faster, it felt right to pull it back a bit by getting in between you for a few minutes
So he offered hands to both of you to help you off the floor
“Let’s all go together then” he said “You should also find out if your campsite director wants any”
“Campsite director?” Hongjoong asked, shutting his computer
You also closed your computer and set it aside, looking around to figure out who Wooyoung was talking about
“Your gracious host this morning” he clarified, giving the department head a charming little wave
You both took Wooyoung’s hands at the same time and almost pulled him down with you in the process of standing up
As you straightened your pants, you asked the department head if she wanted you to bring her back any hot chocolate, to which she responded yes please
Wooyoung insisted on walking in the middle
And Hongjoong wondered if all of the patience he had acquired as a middle school teacher was going to be spent on not wringing this guy’s neck this morning
Fortunately Mr. Jung acted enough like one of Mr. Kim’s students that he was able to pretend he was one and just let it go
Unfortunately by the time they got back to the department head’s classroom kids were starting to show up so that was the end of artificial campfire cuddle time
But there was a silent agreement as you picked up your blankets and computers that you would be doing this again sometime
The first few weeks of December didn’t necessarily fly by but they did go by quickly in hindsight if that makes sense
And before everyone knew it
Christmas break was upon you
And there was no further progression of the math department couple
The Before Christmas teachers had gotten antsier and antsier right up until the day before break started
But thankfully no one had been worried enough to interfere
Hongjoong decided to stay in his classroom that day
(As if he didn’t stay in his classroom every day)
Because people had been giving him disappointed looks all over the school and he was tired of it
Even the principal had made a trip to Hongjoong’s classroom the Friday afternoon before everyone left
Just to tell him how disappointed he was that he hadn’t had the guts to make a move even when he knew the principal’s precious money was on the line
And ask him if you were secretly dating already and just didn’t want to make a big deal about it
But ultimately to wish him luck and a nice break
A few minutes after he left, you popped into his classroom
You had your bag and your coat and it looked like you were ready to head home
“Are you so ready to get out of here?” you asked
He stopped immediately in the middle of his task and slammed his laptop shut
Contract hours had ended a whole minute ago and he had wasted a whole minute still doing work? On break?
“Say no more” he said, standing up and putting his coat on “We should have left five minutes ago”
“Wholeheartedly agree” you replied “I would have but the principal visited me and I felt like I had to look like I was doing something”
Hongjoong froze
The principal had visited you too?
Why?
For what purpose?
Betting purposes?
This technically didn’t still count as Before Christmas Break right?
“That’s weird haha he came and visited me too, like ten minutes ago” he said with the normalest most unbothered tone he could manage
(He tried)
(His voice was not quite an octave higher than usual)
(Which is considerable improvement since it’s usually an octave and a half)
“Maybe he’s just making rounds” you said with a shrug “It’s nice to see how much he cares about this school. Definitely one of the better principals I’ve worked with”
Hongjoong relaxed perhaps too visibly
“Yeah if you need a guy to have your back he’s got it no question”
“Anyway if you don’t have any plans for the day after Christmas you should spend it with me”
If Hongjoong had been drinking something he would have choked
Even if he’d had plans in the first place he would have canceled them for you
“My day is wide open” he said “As is almost all of my break”
You smiled and his stomach did a flip
He wondered if it was ever going to stop doing that
He hoped not
“Mine too. If you’re bored, you can probably text me and I won’t be doing anything”
Was it cringe that he was now looking for technically his second Christmas present for you?
Yeah maybe but that was his lifestyle now
To quote N.Flying’s Lovefool “if they call me a lovefool it’s okay as long as it’s for your sake”
Even if you didn’t see him that way that was A-Okay
Anyway he found some cute little math-themed trinkets like pi earrings and a right triangle pin that said “I’m always right”
Because actually who are math teachers if they don’t like puns
And the morning after Christmas Day he wrapped them up all nice for you
And he got ready to meet you at a little restaurant you now frequented together
But this was actually like the first time he was meeting you on a whole day off so he had to figure out how to dress not like a teacher but still kinda nice
He had no idea
All of his pants were teacher pants
His shirts? All teacher shirts
He was way too good at dressing for his job
So he wore jeans instead of his usual khakis and hoped that was different enough?
He also layered one of his graph paper teacher shirts with a plain t-shirt underneath and didn’t button it up
He looked himself up and down in his mirror, trying different poses to make sure he looked like a Normal Guy
In the end he decided his hair was the only issue
He only knew how to style it in a teacherly fashion
And leaving it unstyled wasn’t an option
So he looked up some tutorials on some easy styles but he just could not see himself as anything other than a math teacher
So he gave up and just prayed that he looked okay
You looked perfect of course
The difference was subtle in theory but the way you dressed, the way you did your hair and makeup, it made for a world of difference
Oh you looked so gorgeous he was never going to get over it
Your eyes practically sparkled when you met him out front and man he thought before that he couldn’t be more in love with you but he was wrong
You did seem a little more awkward today than usual and he couldn’t figure out why
Like you almost seemed nervous
What for? It was just him
You got your food and he suddenly remembered the gifts in his pocket
“Oh!” he exclaimed, pulling them out “I know I gave you the blanket a few weeks ago but I found these and I knew you had to have them. Merry double Christmas?”
You covered your mouth to hide your laughter and your bite of food
“That’s so funny because I found something for you too”
And you pulled a little package out of your bag
Down bad wasn’t even a good descriptor anymore and neither was head over heels like there had to be a stronger silly description of being in love and if there wasn’t it would have to be invented for him
You had found him a shirt that said “Math is hard. So is life. Get over it.”
(Tbh an actual shirt that I own)
And he promised you he would be wearing it the day you all got back from break
As for his silly little gifts you adored them
You put the pi earrings in immediately and started brainstorming what do do with the other things out loud
He could not have been happier with himself
And then you caught him staring at you
You paused in your excited little ramblings
He sat up a little straighter, wondering what to say next
But you smiled and looked down at your plate
“You’re pretty cute, you know that?” you told him, unable to meet his eyes for more than a second
In front of you, his first instinct was to deny the possibility and he followed it without thinking
“Eh, no I’m not—not in comparison to you, anyway”
Hmm if he wanted to keep his feelings secret then that was not the thing to say
But you deserved to know it
Not just cute but beautiful
Heartstoppingly so
You took the compliment well anyway
“Have you ever thought…” you began, trailing off
You watched him as he waited for you to continue, his eyes wide and curious
“Never mind” you dismissed with a casual wave of your hand
“No hey what were you going to say?” he asked
“Nothing I just had a weird thought for a second”
“No no come on! You know I wouldn’t judge you for anything”
You hesitated again and he could see that same nervousness he’d noticed before
“Have you ever thought…I don’t know” you put your elbows up on the table “of us as more than friends? Like dating maybe?”
Once again he was going to be very upset if his alarm clock went off now
But even if this was a dream, there was no harm in saying it out loud
“Every day since the day I met you” he answered honestly
You blinked like you didn’t believe him
“You’d better not be joking because I mean this like I’m risking our whole professional relationship here—”
And then he realized
You literally had no idea about him
Genuinely no clue that the whole school knew exactly how you had him wrapped around your finger
Except you
“—on the slightest chance that you might feel the same way—”
“Hey” he stopped you softly “I would never joke about how I feel about you”
Embarrassment began to set in for both of you
“Seriously,” he said, holding back a laugh, “you can ask any of my students, any of the teachers. I think you were the last one to find out that I have a massive crush on you”
“Oh no you’re kidding!” you exclaimed, your hands coming up to hide your face
“I really wish I were—Wooyoung has two rounds of bets going with the teachers about when and how we would end up dating. It’s just about me though—I don’t think anyone else knew about you”
You buried your face further in your hands
“That is so embarrassing” you whined “Seriously I might kill Wooyoung when we get back from break”
“I’ll help you” he promised
You ended up deciding to tell the other teachers on account of the bets they had placed on you
But you asked them not to tell the kids
Hongjoong was comfortable dealing with them at this point and he didn’t see the point in subjecting you to the attention he got about it
Speaking of the bets
No one won any of them technically
The two categories were before/after Christmas break and you notice/he confesses
And since you confessed during Christmas break well
As tempting as it would have been to say that you two deserved the money
(Especially on those teacher salaries)
You just made Wooyoung give it back to everyone who had put money down
And honestly? Very little about your at school dynamic changed
The kids still teased Hongjoong every day about his obvious soft spot for you
But he didn’t care because he knew better than they did anyway
You did actually start to notice now that kids were gossiping about you and Hongjoong
And it was really funny actually
Especially when he stopped by your classroom and the kids went dead silent watching you
Or when you left his classroom and you heard the kids explode with their weirdo little preteen comments from just outside in the hallway
Wooyoung insisted on telling you about every time you were mentioned in his classroom
This included the story about the girl rejecting a boy because quote no one can like anyone as much as Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N) enquote
And you about died from laughter and embarrassment
Because how had you missed every single sign thrown your way??
It was so obvious now that you were dating him and you knew why he spent as much time as physically and contractually possible in your classroom
Because like I said very little about your at school dynamic changed
He still treated you almost exactly the same way
Except now if you were having a bad day he could hug you and kiss you on the head and tell you that everything would be okay and you were a good teacher
And if he got cold he could come to your classroom and have you sit on his lap while you shared your blanket
You were very very careful with any displays of affection by the way like it was only behind a locked door that you would even dare
Because firstly unprofessional
A literal breach of the code of ethics more likely than not
And secondly what if the kids saw you???
The other teachers were whatever like you didn’t really want them to walk in on you either but at least they were other adults
But the kids??? 
There were already too many rumors flying around the school about you and they did not need a even whispering of confirmation
The end of that came of course when you got engaged like a year or so later idk and you showed up to school with a ring on your finger and the kids went wild
“Mr. Kim she has a ring!!!”
“Mr. Kim what are you going to do?? She’s gonna get married!!”
“Mr. Kim you must be heartbroken”
You had prepared for this together
You had known it was coming so you knew you had to be ready for the chaos it was going to cause
So you had decided that he would also start wearing a ring to match even before the wedding
So to all his very concerned students he got to hold up his hand and say in the coolest most chic manner possible
“And who do you think gave her the ring huh?”
It was like setting off a nuclear bomb of middle school gossip but it was so worth it
Anyway breaking the chronological flow going back in time because this needed to be the last scene
The cutest change with your at school dynamic now that you were dating was now you could exchange secret messages on sticky notes with the papers you traded
He started it by handing you a test key to check with a sticky note on the top that you assumed was a label for what the test was
But on closer inspection it was a pickup line
“The limit of my love for you is like the limit of 1/x as it approaches 0; it doesn’t exist”
So you wrote back on the same sticky note “well mine is like 1/x^2 and it approaches infinity so there” and handed it back to him once you checked his key
Not to be outdone he wrote you a new note
“Girl are you a 30° angle inscribed in a circle because you’re acute-y pi”
Oh that one was bad
You had to give him something worse
“If we’re both math teachers, how come we have so much chemistry?”
You handed him that one in between classes
And as he read it he had to disguise his sudden laughter as a cough because there were kids around and they didn’t need to be curious about what he was laughing at
His next sticky note had a crease down the middle horizontally
128√e980
You recognized it immediately but you folded it in half to reveal the secret message anyway
“I love you”
So you gave him back “I hope you like fractions because you’re my other half”
You stored all these away in a little file on your computer titled “Valentine’s Day Math Jokes”
Maybe for some future Valentine’s Day activity
But mostly just to keep them all somewhere safe where you could look at them any time you wanted
Without some kid being like “oooh Miss (L/N) whatcha lookin at”
Your favorite note from him was about as simple and dorky as they came
Much like Hongjoong himself actually
Simplify 2x+6i<2(x+9u)
First you distributed the 2 on the right
2x+6i<2x+18u
Then since there was a 2x on both sides, you could subtract them and cancel them
6i<18u
Then divide by 6
And the answer made you smile every time
i<3u
(so I know how I wrote this so fast actually. I just have a goal to write 250+ words every day and uh pretty much every day of the month of January ended up dedicated to this one. Someone said Math Teacher Hongjoong and I (graduated in December with a math teaching degree, student taught in a middle school for 4 months) went feral over it whoops)
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Nationals Semifinals - Women’s Category
Kuroo Tetsurou prides himself on being observant.
"Mine!"
The scream echoes through the volleyball court. The sound travels around the space like a bullet, piercing through. He can feel it with the buzzing on his ears, the prickling of his arm hairs, the taut of his abdomen. There's very little room in this large gymnasium for anything other than your voice.
Right behind the court, Kuroo watches you as you spread your arms out, demanding room and stopping other players from trying to take the ball. The high ball gets caught in your expert hands, landing perfectly on the spiker’s hand near the net. Setting on the first touch is a risk. He can feel a tiny bead of sweat on his own forehead.
Kuroo Tetsurou loves volleyball.
He's also an excellent student, son and grandson, captain.
To him, all those things are real. Concrete.
He enjoys the game itself, the tactics, discussing new plays, trying to defeat the competition, improve his team. Being a captain is also important to him and he does it well, comforting the players when all they need are gentle words and confronting them when a firm stance is demanded. And he takes care of them.
He also likes studying. The comfort of providing right answers to tough questions proves in and of itself enough reward to someone who's so analytical, observant, smart. Opening up a book, gathering knowledge, putting that to the test—it's grounding and, god forbid, fun for him.
He's also someone one can rely on. The way his obaa-chan dotes on him, his dad prides himself on calling him "his son". An excellent friend too, with the way he watches over Kenma, always concerned with the younger boy—his eating and sleeping habits, his ability to communicate with the other players of the Nekoma volleyball team. He's the caring kind and, if you ask his obaa-chan, has always been this way, ever since he was a little kid.
So, it makes sense that there's little room for other things. Like, say, romance.
Kuroo Tetsurou is observant so, naturally, he knows.
He knows about the girls who swoon over him, whether they confess it on the hallway, with a letter or even an onigiri atop his desk every Friday for three months. The ones who don't say anything are only being slightly less obvious. The flitting of their eyes, blushing of their cheeks, twirling of their hands—it all points towards something that he's, by now, on his third year of high school, well aware of.
Kuroo supposes it makes sense. He is tall, with an athletic, muscly build, even if his body is more towards the lean side. He can't fix his hair for his life, but the more obvious girls have already pointed out to him that it's part of his charm. Plus, he is genuinely nice and tries to get along with everyone, shining his smirk to whomever crosses his path. So, yeah. It makes sense.
Kuroo Tetsurou, however, finds it all too abstract.
Maybe because he doesn't have the time, maybe because this romantic inclination has never hit him. Being a child of divorce might also factor in.
Still, there seems to be no substance to it, though.
Not that he doesn't get it, because he does. He thinks some of his suitors are pretty, there's a poster of a sake ad with a particularly busty lady in the boy's clubroom that catches his eye and he is, after all, high-schooler. But it remains too abstract.
The volleyball club, his almost spotless track record as a student, his home life. That's real, that's concrete.
The opposing team strikes and the ball hits Nekoma's blockers, flying to the end of the court. His eyes are now watching you, sprinting with all your might to catch the ball from the libero, sending in flying toward the ace.
Kuroo Tetsurou feels tethered.
This is also real. The way he can feel himself grounded, glued to the floor, like his own weight could be enough to open up a hole underneath him. The strap of his gym bag weighs on his shoulders, his hand griping it until it pales, his fingernails piercing the fabric. He can't tell if he's breathing too fast or not at all. His heart sits heavy on his chest, watching you.
Nekoma's match point has turned into a rally and god, this point belongs to this team. He's been watching them for a while now and knows how much they've grown, how they've improved into this well-oiled machine, the most important piece being, of course, you. The new setter.
With a philosophy that focuses on receiving and connecting, the women’s team had been suffering in the past two years when its former setter graduated high school. The backup only played volleyball for fun and as such, wouldn’t and couldn’t lead the team to Nationals. Now, it's only natural that Nekoma would rely so much on a player that managed to turn their last bad years around and bring them back to the basics: connection.
One of Nekoma's wing spiker strikes, but the ball gets stopped by the blockers on the other side. The libero digs, barely managing to catch it with an underarm pass, sending it high up and towards the other team’s side. It’s gonna be an out, Nekoma will lose this point, he thinks. Then, she shouts your name.
Kuroo holds his breath as he watches you run from the front of the court, under the net and onto the other side, your sneakers squeaking when you jump off the ground. You look like you're flying, both hands above making their way to the moving ball. You're untethered, he thinks, feeling himself get heavier. You make a pass to a spiker coming from the back, catching the opposing team by surprise, ball landing heavily on the ground, finally claiming this long rally and, with it, the match.
He closes his eyes and exhales, his grip going slack. When he opens them again, you're on the ground looking up, breathing heavily, clenching your firsts. Then you punch the court and let out a scream, being followed by your teammates as they pile on top of you, the backups running from the back of the court to celebrate with everyone.
Kuroo Tetsurou prides himself on being observant.
Yet a part of him feels like he's only now seeing things clearly.
hello everyone, tis been a while been thinking about coming back for some time now and i have a few kuroo fics i'm hoping to publish this year. bear with me, as i have three ideas toying around in my head lol
as always, any feedback is appreciated.
hope you enjoy and stick around for the rest
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caashmoneynae · 7 months
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HALFTIME.
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JORDAN POOLE x BLACK!FEM!OC
SUMMARY: in which Teja goes to one of Jordan's games and ends up engaging in sexual activity in the locker room. ✨
"𝗜 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧'𝗦 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧, 𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗬!" Teja exclaimed, a smile on her face, as her dark brown eyes sparkled at seeing Jordan make a three-pointer and she clapped her hands loudly, the area she was sitting in erupting in loud cheers while she watched her man and his team travel down the basketball court.
(A/N: pronounced 'TEA•JUH')
"let's go, Poole!" Monaé, Teja's best friend, exclaimed, hyping the man up and boosting his ego, as she and Teja smiled in sync and they watched their team play defense.
the teams were in the second quarter and there were only 5 minutes left on the clock. the Golden State Warriors had 56 points — leveling up from 53 due to Jordan's shot — and their opponent had 53 points, diminishing their tied score and causing both crowds of fans to get antsy since halftime was coming up and they wanted their team to be in the lead.
Teja and Monaé both dressed in Golden State Warriors apparel, but Teja's was more customized because Monaé did it for her. her shirt was long-sleeved and royal blue and on the left side of her chest, it said "Basketball Girlfriend" as "Warriors" sat on her left sleeve. on the back of the shirt, it read "Poole Belongs to Me" and under it read his jersey number as all of the words were spelled in gold letters since royal blue and gold were two of the team's colors.
her brown legs adorned black jeans and her feet held white Air Force 1's as a gold anklet dangled around her left ankle and gold hoops sat in both of her ears, a gold 'T' necklace sitting comfortably around her neck while a gold necklace that read 'Jordan' in cursive sat there as well. her black silk-pressed hair was side-parted and swooped to the right side as a few bobby-pins sat in her head to make sure her swoop stayed in place, her lips glossy with Vaseline and adding a 'pop' to her appearance.
it was clear as day that Teja knew she looked good, and though she preferred silver jewelry over gold, she always made sure to wear some gold to all of Jordan's games.
hearing cheers, Teja's eyes averted to the clock, and she realized that not only was there one minute left before halftime, but the other team had tied with the Warriors for a second time. she looked back at the court and her gaze intensified as she lightly chewed on her bottom lip, the time running down quickly while the Warriors traveled down the court with the ball.
Draymond Green passed the ball to Stephen Curry, and Stephen passed the ball to Gary Payton II, and Gary passed the ball to Jordan, who passed the ball to Andrew Wiggins. it seemed as if the time was only winding down quicker and quicker, and this caused Teja's palms to grow sweaty while her eyes flickered between the clock and the court.
as if on cue with the clock hitting 10 seconds, Andrew began making his way to the basket, swiftly dodging the opponents that tried to stop him while his teammates played excellent defense, as he suddenly jumped up and dunked on the men below him, the ball going through the net with ease and the buzzer sounding out into the lively court while Teja and the other fans began cheering.
"can't wait 'til our boys take home that dub, Mo'!" Teja smiled, the two women standing up from the stands, as Monaé smiled with her and the two began to walk down the staircase behind the other fans.
"girl, who you tellin'? one more win and we goin' to the playoffs, baby! ooh, i can't wait to celebrate!" Monaé smiled, holding onto Teja's hand so they wouldn't be separated by the large crowd, as Teja looked up at the scoreboard and read '58-56', making her smile slightly widen while she looked back at Monaé and the duo made their way to the concession stands.
"oh yeah, we fa'sho' gon' celebrate this win. and then after that... i'ma give my baby his reward, ya feel me?" Teja smirked, playfully raising her brows, as Monaé laughed and shook her head, playfully shoving the woman's shoulder while Teja laughed.
"T, you a trip! but i feel you, girl, no doubt." Monaé smirked as Teja stuck out her tongue and the two did their handshake, their pinkies locking at the end while they giggled.
"ooh, hold up. Mo', hold my purse, i'ma go to the bathroom real quick," Teja announced, taking her phone out of it and putting it in her pocket, "i'll be right back before halftime ends."
"you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Monaé asked, grabbing the purse from the woman's hand and slinging it over her shoulder.
"nah, you good, 'Naé, i'on want you to lose your place in line," Teja assured, looking down and checking the time on her Apple Watch, as she looked up at Monaé and gave her a small smile in reassurance, "make sure to buy me some nachos, mama! you know how i like 'em."
"will do, Mrs. Poole!" Monaé smirked playfully, watching Teja jog away from her, as Teja laughed and shook her head, a wide smile on her face while she made her way to the restrooms.
the farther Teja was from the crowd of fans, the more the loud sounds of them began to turn into low murmurs, and she tucked her phone into the back pocket of her jeans as she made her way to the woman's bathroom. before she could walk into the restroom, however, a large hand grabbed her by the arm and yanked her into a room, making her squeal out of surprise, as she watched the door to the room shut and she saw lockers in the corner of her eye, making her realize she had been yanked into the Golden State Warriors's locker room by no one other than Jordan.
"you know i hate when you do that shit!" Teja exclaimed, punching the man in his arm, as Jordan laughed at her and pressed her up against the door, kissing her lips while he sneakily locked the door.
"you still love me tho', girl," Jordan chuckled, a small smirk on his face, as he eyed her down and ran his tongue over his plump lips at the sight of her attire, "mm, you look good. who you lookin' this good for, baby?"
"nobody but my man," Teja smiled, cupping his face in her hands, as she placed a few pecks on his lips before giggling, "now why you bring me in here? you got 8 minutes left before it's time for you to go back on the court."
Jordan didn't respond to her question. instead, his smirk only widened, and his nonverbal answer immediately clicked in Teja's mind as to why she was pulled into the room so abruptly.
"uh-uh, Jordan, i know you not tryna'..." Teja trailed off, raising a brow, as Jordan chuckled softly and his brown eyes looked into her dark brown ones while lust started to cloud his pupils.
"oh, i'm definitely tryna'..." Jordan smirked, mimicking her past statement, as he let out a low chuckle of mischievousness before kissing her lips, the kiss oozing with passion and causing Teja to procrastinate on kissing him back while his hand latched around her neck and pulled her closer to him.
falling into the temptation rather quickly, Teja kissed Jordan back and she soon melted into the kiss, making his lips curl up into a smirk, as he let go of her neck and tugged at the waistband of her jeans, pulling away from the kiss and trailing wet kisses down her jawline while Teja's breathing turned uneven due to rising arousal.
"you movin' real slow like we ain't got a lot of time in here." Teja breathily mumbled, kicking off her shoes, as Jordan chuckled softly and his hand slipped into her pants before he swiftly removed them and made sure her phone remained unharmed.
"i know what i'm doin', mama," Jordan muttered, his voice slightly deeper due to sexual desire running through his veins, as goosebumps spread across Teja's skin at the tone of his voice and Jordan noticed this, a smirk crossing his lips while he placed a few wet kisses on her neck before tapping her left thigh, "jump."
wrapping her legs around his waist, the two kissed for a final time before Jordan hoisted her up onto his shoulders, carefully lifting her smooth legs onto his muscular biceps while she lightly scooted up on the smooth wooden door so her hips would be level with his face.
it was definitely safe to say that this wasn't their first rodeo.
"pull these to the side for me, princess." Jordan spoke lowly, his eyes flickering up to her, as Teja bit down on her bottom lip and gripped the right side of her panties, pulling them to the side and revealing her soaked sex while Jordan licked his lips at the sight.
not wasting any of the short time they had left, Jordan immediately dug in, his pink lips wrapping around her swollen bud while he gently sucked at it like he was a baby and her clitoris was his pacifier. moaning softly, Teja gently laid her head against the door as she ran her fingers over Jordan's head, her brows slightly furrowing while his hands squeezed her thick brown thighs.
"sh-shit, Jordan," Teja moaned airily, her brows slightly furrowing, as she felt his tongue slither and wiggle inside her folds and her hips lightly jolted against his face, "mmh, eat this pussy, Daddy... eat your pussy just like that, baby."
"like that, mama? hm?" Jordan hummed against her, sending vibrations through her core and up her spine, as Teja shakily whimpered and her back slightly arched off of the door, her grip on her underwear tightening while she rubbed the nape of her boyfriend's neck.
"yessss— o-oh, shit!" Teja gasped, feeling his middle and ring fingers slide inside her walls, as her palm gently smacked the door she was pinned up against and her eyes rolled back, feeling soft kisses be littered around both of her inner thighs while her juices began to drip down Jordan's hand.
moans, whimpers, and whines fell from Teja's two-toned lips and sounds of her gushiness aired out into the room as her eyes fluttered closed and her hand moved from the nape of his neck to his hand on her right thigh, gently squeezing it while she shakily exhaled. Jordan's fingers thrusted inside of the woman at a slow and semi-deep pace and he laid kisses around her vagina, occasionally laying some on her clit and causing her hips to jolt.
suddenly, Jordan's fingers curved, and Teja's whole body jolted as tingles almost immediately dispersed through her body, her grip on Jordan's hand tightening while she gasped loudly.
"oh, fuck, t-that's my spot!" Teja cried, feeling Jordan's hand slither underneath her shirt, as he pulled one of her breasts out of her bra and kneaded it in his palm, his index and middle fingers fiddling with and tugging at her sensitive nipple and earning feeble whimpers from her parted lips.
"right there? huh, pretty?" Jordan cooed, his eyes staring up at her with a combination of lust and mischief, as Teja vigorously nodded her head and her eyes rolled back, "ooh, you 'bout to cum, ain't you, baby? i feel that pretty pussy clenching, mama, you 'bout to wet my face up?"
Teja felt the pace of his fingers start to pick up and each thrust had him poking at her g-spot as her stomach muscles tightened and she let go of Jordan's hand, her hand sliding underneath her shirt and gripping her second breast out of intense pleasure while she practically gripped the life out of her underwear. her thighs began to tremble and her lips rested agape as Teja suddenly gasped and her stomach caved in, her body jolting and her brows furrowing while her legs locked on the man's shoulders.
"y-yes! oh, yes, yes, yes— fuck, baby, i-i'm cummin'!" Teja whined loudly, her hips grinding against his fingers, as Jordan laid his tongue out flatly and caught her nectar atop his pink muscle, causing a shiver to go down Teja's spine while she rode out her orgasm.
"there you go, beautiful. ride that nut out." Jordan cooed, a small smirk on his face, as he licked his lips and gently pulled his fingers out of her erogenous walls, slipping them in his mouth while he sucked her juices off of them and looked up at her.
sighing softly, Teja raised her head from the door and looked down at Jordan, noticing the smirk on his face instantly, as she let out a soft laugh and shook her head, removing both of their hands from underneath her shirt while she put her breast back into its cup.
"we ain't never doin' this again." Teja chuckled softly, letting go of her underwear, as Jordan chuckled and lowered her legs back down to his waist, her legs loosely locking around his hips while he kissed her lips.
"You know damn well this shit gon' happen again, T."
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grapejuicestyless · 9 months
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Burn Out
Conrad Fisher x fem!reader
Summery: Y/n was often labeled, “the gifted kid.” She can’t help but feel like she’s falling behind when everyone’s suddenly leaving her behind
link to request HERE.
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She’d heard it her whole life. From the day she could walk to her first report card with letters on it, her mother always threw the term around to all her friends. She bragged to her relatives, boasted to her co-workers. It felt nice to be good, to get good grades, to do well in activities after school. But with each passing year, Y/n grew up wanting to be great.
She was tired of her mother raving to Susannah about how good at writing she was for her age. She didn’t want to be good for her age. She just wanted to be great. It seemed that no matter how much she excelled, she was forever bound to that boundary that left her feeling less than.
Being good for her age didn’t feel like a compliment after she reached double digits. She felt stupid. Why couldn’t she be more? Why was she subjected to only be allowed to succeed within the group of individuals who all shared the same birthdays, birth years? Why wasn’t she ever compared to the big kids? The varsity athletes who complimented her and the art prodigies who urged her to pursue it for longer. Why couldn’t anyone see how hard she was treating to be the best she could?
It was obvious she was going places. How while Conrad and Steven ran around throwing footballs and splashing around in the pool, Y/n was curled up in the grass reading best selling novels and scandalous news stories. She was set on being great her whole childhood, never enjoying the simple things. But her love for reading and writing that developed in her tween years is what started her spiral.
Y/n was set on being a journalist. She had her future planned out. She wanted to go to an Ivy League. The state or the name didn’t matter. She wanted something she could put on her work resume to show everyone what she could do. She worked for it. She dropped all of her sports, all of her art classes. She was set on this career path she wanted so badly. She wrote for the school newspaper, the yearbook, the town paper. She did it all. Even without the early morning wake ups in the summer, her eyes carried heavy eye bags from her obsessive work ethic. She sat at the desk Susannah and Laurel had built for her by the bay window. She wrote and she wrote until her palms were grey with graphite and her fingers calloused and aching.
They all said she would outgrow it. The desire to be the best, the competitive nature she had. When she didn’t, they began to realize their mistake. Y/n never saw her peers as her biggest competitors, but herself as her biggest threat. She wanted to out write herself, make everything she could the best possible so even when she was old she could smile and say she was proud of it. To everyone, it seemed that with her obsessions and excessive efforts, she was headed right where she wanted to be.
Y/n’s mother always believed she wouldn’t have to put any money away for Y/n. Surely, she would be able to manage a full ride somewhere wonderful. A penny wouldn’t be spent on anything more than the books and the comforter for her dorm room. The added pressure to Y/n’s already rotten mind tainted with the intense pressure to remain as gifted as her mother had always convinced everyone she was.
Quickly, it built. Her hands still ached and she still spent hours at her desk, but she couldn’t write anymore. It all came out in short sentences that led her no where. There was no connection to make it make sense. She couldn’t think of ways to out do herself, ways to reinvent the greatness she knew she had within herself. She couldn’t spend every hour studying until her eyes drooped and the pages were stuck together with her drool. She couldn’t do it anymore.
The only way to describe what Y/n felt was burnt out. Sluggish. She moved through the days just the same, but they dragged. She wasn’t productive. She laid in bed eyes crusty and dry from all of her tears being wasted on her pillows.
She was failing. Not only in her head now, but now everyone else knew it. She was barely passing English and now calculus and physics seemed like too much to juggle. She didn’t feel wise beyond her years anymore. She felt right where she started, bound to the boundaries of her own age. No matter how hard she tried, her motivations were gone. She wasn’t a prodigy, she just tried. She wasn’t gifted, she was simply obsessive. She had little friendships left, no boyfriend. Her own dreams got in the way of her childhood.
When the letters came in, she watched how everyone around her rejoiced, basking in their victories. Steven was going to Princeton. Jeremiah to finch and Belly would surely follow him. The one that stung the most was Conrad. He’d already managed a spot in Browns pre-med program. Not that Y/n wanted that for herself, to be a doctor that is. No, but to have to ability to show everyone from her small hometown she had the brains to escape, be known. But Brown was never enough for Conrad. How could one of the hardest Ivy’s to get into ever be enough for the overachieving blonde? The boy who never really had to try in order to be great. He had to rub salt into the wound by getting into Stanford the following summer.
Y/n never hated Conrad for it. It wasn’t his fault he was just naturally better than her. But it stung that the only college that she could afford would be the safety state school. Her mother was partially to blame. Even though Y/n had gotten into some of the hardest schools to attend, none came with the financial aid she needed. She was good, but not enough. Without any savings from her mother, the money she had saved was not nearly enough to travel the map for school. She would forever be stuck somewhere she didn’t want to be.
It wasn’t like she cared the most, less work in some senses. Yet, the pounding headache that constantly beat at her self esteem screamed at her. How the voices that taunted her for all these years had finally been proven right.
Y/n would always be good, but she could never be great.
Careful of the heaviness of it all, Conrad treaded lightly to her slumping frame.
Sitting in her room, shadows casted over her quilt, her eyes stared blankly into the old oak desk she once considered something short of an oasis. Her papers were neat, pencils dull. Used up from pointless ideas and messy attempts to grasp at her lost talents.
Holding the letters, detailing how much she owed to prove herself, the debt she ultimately couldn’t afford, she began to grow resentful. How she had wasted her best years on something she couldn’t afford to achieve. While everyone else had memories of beach volleyball and sandcastles, Y/n had paper cuts and tired eyes. It was all so defeating to realize.
While many could brush her off as too sentimental, too emotional over something so small, Conrad knew her better. He saw the way her eyes dimmed, her heart stuttered. She died just hours ago in that once lively kitchen when reading the news.
“I’m a failure.” It was all she could manage. Three shaky words that broke between, her breathing coming out in quiet gasps. It was like a knife to the heart, realizing someone so persistent was finally giving up. Crumbling.
In her mind, she had made every mistake possible. She’s given up something so important, risked the loss of her childhood all for some dream she herself couldn’t even achieve with all the hours of work she forced upon herself. Yet, to Conrad, she hadn’t failed in the slightest. Y/n was wise well beyond her years. She had a mind like no other, a way with her words but also reasoning behind each sentence that made even the most outlandish claims seem more truthful than a defined fact. To him, she was the definition of greatness.
“You have your whole life ahead of you.” He’d tried to reassure her, words muffled against her hair. She smelled of coconut and fruits. Freshly washed hair as clean and neat as her mind once was. Still, his touch and his words held no weight in Y/n’s racing mind.
How could she explain to him each detail of the situation, each complexity that made her so distraught, so self destructive? Not only had she failed, but in all her efforts, she’d missed out on the best years of her life. She wondered if she would have to live with herself, from now for eternity wishing she could go back? Lay out under the stars and watch as satellites became mistaken as comets by her friends.
“Will it feel like this forever?” She’s asked almost too innocently. It was a genuine question. Would the stabbing pains in her heart, the throbbing inside of her skull ever full into an ache she could ignore for her own good? Would she ever stop living in regret and just be able to live her life without her own fears of missing out, of falling short?
“It’s gets better.” He’d promised her. Truthfully, there was no way he could’ve known. He was blessed with the ability to be effortlessly great. Always at the top without any struggle for the power that came with it. All while Y/n had to fight for even a spot on the podium.
Conrad only had one regret then. That he hadn’t been quicker to stop Y/n from falling so far, so hard. He knew it better than anyone, he lived and breathed burnouts. He crashed constantly, falling flat on his face. Yet, somehow he never slipped from where he stood. He wished that she could see just how amazing she was.
“What if I don’t?” It was a double edged sword. Both a question of mentally and physically. Would the pain ever ease? Would the slump fade into a distant memory of her teenage years? Would her skills resume into a climb of greatness as Y/n developed into something just short of Shakespeare? She still longed for that sense of accomplishment in her life. She still strives to be at the top and it was killing her. The fact that in her constant need to get better, she had fallen into a state of panic when she saw no progress. She feared that in her best efforts, she’d already given up all the best parts of herself, to no avail.
Conrad couldn’t promise her that she would. She had worked so long, fallen just short of what she deserved, all at the faults of the pressures of her youth. All responsibilities she never deserved to have to carry in the first place.
Placing a kiss to her temple, he held onto her like a promise, keeping her locked away in his heart. Silently, as her eyes settled back on the old oak desk, Conrad prayed. He never did that. He wished that there were some alternate universe. One where Y/n could live in peace, free from the restrictions and pressures of her childhood. A life where her future wasn’t something she had to know so early. He hoped that somewhere in that universe, she realized just how important she was, at least to him.
He swore then, even in her darkest hours, despite what the world thought, he would always love her. He only wished that she could see what he thought of her. That she was the greatest thing to ever happen.
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🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻
My SydCarmy fics MASTERLIST
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Carmen Berzatto just stood there in front of her and didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. -Copenhagen He was reduced to a bunch of boneless matter with a heartbeat that only existed because she laid her dark eyes on it. -Après ce, la liberté
At that moment, she realized that her favorite place on Earth was right there, standing 334 feet above the ground, nestled in his chest. -Ponte degli Innamorati
🐻 Slowburn >>> They win a Michelin Star and Carmy confesses his love for Sydney.
🐻 Larrabe >>> Syd moves to her own place, they win a Michelin star and “celebrate”. Luca and Claire also make an appearance here.
🐻 Pasta >>> Carmy & Syd cook together, then eat each other and then there’s this invisible string they discover has always linked them in a sense. Mikey is also mentioned here.
🐻 Heart >>> Carmy goes to therapy to get in touch with his true feelings and Syd tries to deny hers, which explains her ❤️ tattoo.
🐻 Hint >>> Claire reflects on her breakup with Carmy.
🐻 Sunset >>> Carmy must make a choice. Are actions ultimately more important than words?
🐻 Pillow >>> Syd and Carmy open their X files. Not what you think. Now part of a collection alongside "Chef Talk".
🐻 Après >>> Carmy hits rock bottom. Love is an act of mirroring.
🐻 Chef>>> Sydney realizes that Carmy has an uncanny resemblance to a celebrity who features in a steamy CK ad. Claire makes a brief cameo here because "maybe" she always falls for the wrong guy. Now part of a collection alongside "Pillow Talk".
🐻 Madame >>> Sydcarmy is written in the starts but they need a little nudge. Love is in the air but they're fire!
🐻 Stella >>> Stella Bear, the heiress, is here. Now part of a collection alongside "Madame Stardust".
🐻 Shark >>> They get married in secret and honeymoon in Barbados where she starts calling him "Bear".
🐻 Ponte >>> They renew their vows in Italy on their 1st Anniversary. Now part of a collection alongside "Shark Hole".
🐻 Focus>>> Sydney finds out Carmy has been drawing Sistine Chapel-level sketches of her.
🐻 Dreams >>> They have wet dreams about each other simultaneously.
🐻 Tucson >>> Carmy goes to rehab because he almost checks himself out of life permanently and learns to use his words, Syd grows too fond of this new Carmy.
🐻 She's not you >>> Claire was great and scared the shit out of Carmy, but she was no Sydney Adamu.
🐻 Beggin' >>> It's a pseudo-songfic, an experiment, a blurb, a rarity, a little cannoli with mortadella mousse and pistachios that links Carmy, Syd, Donna, and others to this song that I love because I feel it just fits.
🐻 Chococookies >>> Auntie Syd and Uncle Carmy babysit little Bianca and Carmy also babysits Syd when she has a severe case of baby blues 🍪🍪🍪
🐻 Sydney’s secret >>> Carmy holds on to one of Sydney’s most personal items and loses his mind, but turns out Syd had a different take on his “madness”.
🐻 Mother of Victory >>> Donna had to die. Austenianly, of course. Now part of a collection alongside "Chococookies".
🐻 The new Berzattos >>> Syd & Carmy are raising a new family, and now The Bear is gonna be a big brother to this new cub Syd is "cooking". Now part of a collection alongside "Mother of Victory".
🐻 Rain >>> Syd kisses the words right out of Carmy's mouth. Chococookies'prequel. Now part of a collection alongside "Mother of Victory". 🍸🍸
🐻 Last clause >>> Syd and Carmy get a divorce and she gets The Bear. The city of Love might play an important part here. Now part of a collection alongside "Sunset clause".
🐻 Every second counts >>> Victor Emmanuel Berzatto, "The Cub", thanks his parents for having taught him the most valuable lesson of them all. Now part of a collection alongside "Mother of Victory".
🐻 3:10 >>> Carmy pushes himself harder than ever and demands excellence from his crew, they do their best to match his intensity. He does this for Sydney and for Sydney only.
🐻 6 Letters >>> Syd and Carmy say the wrong names in bed when they are fucking their respective partners.
🐻 Play >>> Carmy gets too playful with Syd's braids ;)
🐻 Cupid >>> Syd breaks Cupid's heart 💔.
🐻 More often >>> Syd falls asleep on Carmy's new leather sofa and wakes up in his bed.
🐻 Unicorn >>> Uncle Carmy & Aunty Syd confess that they could potentially have a whole soccer team of kids if only they'd find the right "partner" to do that with 🦄
Remember to Reblog and recommend if you like it and comments are always welcome on AO3 because more often than not I get inspo from them, seeing as I have the best Sydcarmy readers out there!
XOXO
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spidey-strange · 1 month
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Romeo, Romeo...
I am now living in a post Romeo & Juliet world. It might well be the only time I get to see it, but honestly what I saw on Saturday is going to stay with me forever. I wanted to put it down into words - my review of this play.
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The first part of the experience is the music. We were in the bar and this repetitive rumble sound played over the tannoy, signalling that we were being called to Verona. We took our seats and we waited, all while more and more haze appeared across the sparsely-set stage and the music bore deep into my soul, gnarling and industrial, giving a sense of dystopian doom and foreboding. By the time the lights went out and the video screen showed 1597 in bright red lettering, I was already feeling a nervous nausea and an elevated heart rate.
This play is asking you to pretend, as much as they are. There is no set. There are no props. The actors stand like statues, dotted around, sometimes deep into the back of the stage as if ghostly apparitions. Sometimes the actors talk freely, other times they take their place behind mic stands as if part of a debating society. What happens on stage is coupled with video footage of other actors scattered around the bowels of the theatre, in the narrow backstage corridors, or even the theatre bar (and, of course, the roof). The fourth-wall breaks that often punctuate the end of these short video pieces eally pierce into your soul, looming over you, much like the mood of this whole production.
An example - as Mercutio lay dying, the camera is right in his face so you get the full pain and rage of him as he screams "a plague upon both your houses" and takes his final breaths. All the while, Romeo stands metres away, covered in blood, seething with unbridled rage, tears mixing with the blood of his friend.
The interval moment that follows literally made everyone gasp, a jumpscare that absolutely warrants the gravity of the moment. I won't say more because if there's even a 0.1% chance of you seeing it I don't want it ruined.
The second act of this play is decidedly quieter than the first. Clandestine conversations, whispers between characters, the comedy, gone. The deaths of Thibault and Mercutio loom large as the reality of the consequences kick in. Juliet remains defiant to the last - this is a Juliet who really knows what she wants (supported by Nurse, who is more like an older sister character full of kindness and friendly age-appropriate advice). As the end draws near, and the inevitability of what's about to happen (let's face it, we've all studied it at school, we know what happens!) becomes apparent, the silence in the theatre speaks volumes.
This production challenges you to see the traditional story through a far darker lens, and the blank spaces leave room for the oppressive mood and music to thrive and grow. It asks you to find answers in the quiet as much as the loud. It might be the best known love story of all time but the added weight of the staging proves everything hangs on the final line: "For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
Now. Acting. And oh boy was there acting. I'm going to start with Mercutio (Joshua-Alexander Williams) and Paris (Daniel Quinn-Toye) - two actors who are in their first professional production. What pressure, and how they dealt with it. Particularly Joshua-Alexander! I thought Tomiwa Edun, who played Capulet, Juliet's father, was immense - so sinister in his delivery, he had me convinced he was head of a family and of a gang empire. And Freema Agyeman as Nurse was wonderful, as I said earlier, giving this big sister energy and providing delighful lighter moments against the shade. HUGE mention to Nima Taleghani who not only was an excellent Benvolio but also edited the original text to make it a 1hr 45 version that was powerful and punchy.
Now, our main stars. Francesca Amewudah-Rivers as Juliet was incredible. She was headstrong, she was poised, she was dynamic and still at the same time. She portrayed a Juliet desperate to be free from the confines of her family, but clear that she knew what she wanted from the love (and escape) she sought. The second act belonged to her, her stillness lingering.
And the reason I fought for a ticket, Tom Holland. I've seen him at film premieres and press events, and twice playing golf, but the opportunity to see him do what (as fans) we all know to be his true calling, was irresistible. And oh my God. Honestly I was blown away by his portrayal. Brooding, emotional, at times so quiet you had to strain to hear his lament. And then rage, euphoria, shyness, a fumbling lovesick idiot. Throughout the production he provides so much range, but also so much depth, it's impossible not to feel everything he does.
To see him, clearly in his element, providing a soul to Romeo that I've never felt before - I couldn't be prouder as a fan. For too long he has been tarred with the brush that he is not a "serious actor". As fans we know that The Devil all the Time, Cherry, and The Crowded Room are proof otherwise. This should be the moment the world realises he is INCREDIBLE, to be taken seriously, to be given the respect he is long overdue.
I wish beyond words that I get to see this play again. I hope at the very least it gets an NT live screening so that fans around the world get to witness this amazing, unique, innovative production.
Violent delights indeed have violent ends.
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