#addressing stimming behavior

[drdemonprince]

I was watching the Marvel Show Moonknight and there's a scene when Mark (an Allistic character who has DID) is in a state of extreme emotional pain. He falls to his knees in the street and begins crying and hitting himself in the head with his hands until he suddenly shifts.

I had always thought only autistic people hit themselves in the head like that. (I am autistic and I work with autistic people). But the implication of them putting that scene in the show makes me think that it was at least normal enough Allistic reaction to the emotional stress that it didn't require textual addressing.

Do Allistic people engage in self injurious behavior such as head banging? Is there any research on it?

Oh yeah, non-Autistic people absolutely have meltdowns and self-harm too. It's psychiatric institution propaganda that has us believing we are innately and fundamentally different from anybody else, that our traits are somehow not widely recognized human traits. You can look up the literature on NSSI, non-suicidal self injury. There are lots of reasons why people engage in it and forms that it takes -- from cutting, to head-banging, to skin picking, etc. The border between an injurious stim/Autistic meltdown behavior and a non-Autistic NSSI is completely porous.

[sapph1cyearning]

Wilhelm's Mental Health; Autism or Borderline Personality Disorder?

Wilhelm’s mental health status is a complex issue that has been heavily commentated on by the fandom, from what I've observed within the YR fandom, a large number of fans headcanon Wilhelm as having autism but I hope to explore autism and it's symptomology outside of the white male perspective that is defaulted upon in autistic representation by overviewing symptoms that contribute to the interpretations of Wilhelm having either Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). These two disorders can show up in similar forms, and often get misdiagnosed (especially women and non-white people are immediately pointed toward the BPD diagnosis rather than ASD due to assessor’s prejudice and society's higher expectations for minority groups to mask autistic traits while in public but that’s another story). A key difference between the two is that ASD is a genetic disorder while BPD is a disorder that develops due to childhood trauma. Both disorders have a high likelihood for comorbidity with other mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Content Warning: Frank commentary of symptoms associated with Borderline Personality Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder, including: self-harm, substance abuse, and emotional dysregulation.

Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional but I am autistic, and I’ve known quite a number of people with either BPD or autism [Years ago, I stayed at a long-term DBT-based treatment center, a therapeutic specialty for created to address BPD that has been expanded to treat other mental health struggles and disorders that go hand-in-hand with BPD symptoms (Substance abuse, self-harm, OCD, etc.)]. This is also solely based on what is seen in the show, not actors' interpretations that are expressed through interviews.

Throughout the series Wilhelm (W) is seen engaging in a multitude of behaviors and experiences feelings that he expresses verbally that could be interpreted as fitting as symptoms of both.

Notably the scene where W is seen smacking his temple with his palm (1x05) can be interpreted as either: purposeful self-harm (a common self-destructive coping mechanism for overwhelming emotions in BPD; his alcohol and drug use could be described similarly) or a self-stimulatory behavior (stimming), a characteristic of ASD to aid in regulating or expressing intense emotions (while W is only seen engaging in this with a “negative” emotion, stimming can be used with all emotions), other example include his chest-rubbing, and frequent caressing of different textures.

Intense mood-swings, anger, and difficulties with emotion processing, this is quite evident in W's actions, emotional responses, and feelings he expresses verbally. Both disorders have been observed to have intense changes of emotions at a “drop of a hat.” ASD mood-swings are typically related to exposure to sensory input that is quite uncomfortable, overstimulation, and/or meltdowns (breakdowns due to a culmination of intense feelings, sensory input and/or overwhelming experiences). BPD mood-swings and impulsive actions are more related to triggers of trauma responses, and a lack of regulatory measures

Symptoms Specific to Each Disorder:

BPD:

Attachment to Favorite Person (FP), a symptom of BPD where one idolizes one person in their life to an extreme degree, wanting to spend all their time with their FP, and intense anger and despair with perceived betrayals/slights against them/mistakes. W goes through 2 FPs (Erik and Simon). He adores Erik, and feels betrayal when Erik leaves him at Hillerska. Simon quickly becomes a FP, seeing him as perfect and feeling betrayal when Simon messes up (drug dealing) and the utter despair and hopelessness when Simon needs space and starts dating Marcus; “It feels like I’m going to die” (2x04) (Could be a consequence of being utterly isolated due to being Royal and latching onto anyone who shows care to him)

Unstable / Ineffective Relationships (Simon, Kristina, Minou, and other hierarchy figures): BPD is often associated with people with the disorder lashing out against "completely innocent" people for "no reason", while this can be accurate, it does not account for the triggering of such episodes (See above)

Substance Abuse: People with BPD may utilize alcohol and/or other substances to "numb themselves" from BPD symptoms or distance themselves from harmful memories (autistic people also experience substance abuse and addiction at higher rates than the general allistic population but it is often seen as a crutch to cope with the constant stress of existing in an allistic world which is not implied in what draws W to substance use throughout the show)

ASD:

Expansion on Sensory Issues: W seemingly wears the same sweater-button up combo often, just with different sweater colors — Grey, teal, and that god-awful bright orange — ensures safe textures when buying new items but he might just have a clothing stylist with horrid taste. W's struggles with the suffocating feel of the suit (2x05). He rarely utilized the overhead lights in his room, instead relied on his string lights, lamps or natural lighting (Florescent and LED lights can trigger light sensitivity and contribute to sensory processing difficulties in autistic people)

Preoccupation with the concept of normalcy (1x01), as a kid being autistic often ostracizes you from your peers, being deemed the “weird kid” is very damaging thus W may have been enticed by the prospect attending a regular high school to like "normal people" (this concept is intrinsically tied to social class throughout the show, W wants normalcy of a lower class while Sara wants conform to a higher class but that's a different spiel). This can lead to masking; the act of forcing oneself to hide their autistic traits in order to fit into Allistic norms. (My one dispute to this interpretation is he's seemingly more disgruntled by the pomp and circumstance of being Royal that "others" him rather than peers judging him)

Lack of social cues (Not even going to waste my time explaining this one, the man had no game, absolutely none, it’s a wonder that he pulled Simon)

This far from a full list of symptoms seen in W's characterization but it's a broad overview of the signs I saw from an autistic lens. I lean towards Wille having Borderline Personality Disorder based on the fact that significant aspects of Autism Spectrum Disorder can be correlated to his unfortunate circumstance of being royalty.

[taterforlife]

Things Parents of Children with Autism/ADHD/Developmental Delay/Intellectual Disability/etc. Should Know Before Agreeing to Applied Behavior Analysis Services (This is not a complete list but it has some that I consider most important):

You WILL see online criticism of people who have had bad experiences with ABA. You want a provider that is client-centered and cares about your child's needs and wants and makes sure that the process includes GETTING TO KNOW YOUR CHILD AND YOU and establishing a positive relationship before placing any sort of expectations on the child. People do not want to change their behavior or habits for someone they do not care about. And you want a provider that is trauma-informed and will take ALL PRECAUTIONS against causing trauma, using evidence-based behavior analytical treatments and focusing on reinforcement and letting the child make decisions throughout much of the process, and including you in it too.

It is meant to be an INTENSIVE SERVICE. It is based on the client's needs how many hours services should provide in a clinic or in your home, but this could range to anywhere from 10-20 hours on average. Sometimes more or less. Not being able to arrange those hours can cause more harm than good should your child have many needs or delays.

Daytime hours during the school year get you off the waitlist faster. Evening school hours are always taken first during the academic year. We often struggle finding families willing to take their kids out of school early or take them late. ABA companies should not pressure you on what choice to make, but if you feel your child could benefit or if you are experiencing high-intensity behaviors of concern such as aggression or elopement, it may be able to get you services faster. We are ALWAYS looking for daytime sessions!

Your participation is NECESSARY for success. The child must have interventions that are consistent across places and people. Otherwise, it will most likely be less effective or not effective at all. We want to teach you the strategies we use that show to be successful and work with you and the child! We want to work to the point where the child and the family does not need us anymore! But we cannot do that if you do not learn and accept teaching from us. And often insurances require it and will not pay anymore if the report shows you are not participatong and implementing. We are a service meant to enhance the lives of clients in a way that gives them wider access to things they want and like, build more meaningful relationships, and learn new skills that benefit them. If you do not want to participate, then you are probably thinking of a different service, such as having an attendant.

A good provider who is client-centered is not there to reduce behaviors others find "annoying" or "disruptive", such as stimming. They can be taught skills to help increase attention to tasks and temporarily redirect them, but it is often unethical and harmful to the child to stop them from doing it altogether. The treatment plan may even incorporate time for the child to be able to stim/flap hands/rock their body/etc. on purpose because often, they need it to regulate themselves. It feels good. It's their version of tapping fingers when nervous, playing with a strand of hair, etc. It would be unethical to make a client uncomfortable just because a behavior does not look "normal". If if truly hurts them to do the behavior, such as banging their head against a wall, then it will be addressed for safety concerns.

[alluraaaa]

for the promts: z (zoo trip gone wrong) with adam shiro and younger keith?

Kids have too much energy. Shiro knows he would’ve passed out five times by now if he was doing what Keith is.

The ankle biter in question is practically vibrating in place with happy stimming, staring through the glass at the hippopotamus enclosure.

“Never seen him so happy,” Adam muses beside Shiro, tucked against his side.

“Yeah, he’s really into hippos.”

“I can hear you,” Keith grouches, but he still looks excited. “Hippos can have twelve inch long canines. That’s a whole foot of teeth. How are you not into that?”

“Well I didn’t know that, that’s cool as hell,” Adam says easily.

“Language,” Shiro remarks.

“He’s eleven, that’s old enough for hell.”

“Definitely don’t say it like that.”

“Woah,” Keith says, drawing their attention again. He’s not watching the hippos anymore, instead watching the path they’re standing on, where a ten foot long snake is slithering past them. It’s muddy brown and heavy looking but moves with ease, and Keith crouches to watch it with wide eyes.

In a flash Adam is gripping Shiro’s shoulders and hiding behind him, using his boyfriend as a shield to a snake that doesn’t seem to care about them. He says, “What the fuck?”

“Language,” Shiro says again. “I’ve heard of zoos letting animals wander, I just didn’t know this was one of ‘em. The reptile exhibit is right by here.”

“You sure?” Adam asks. Keith takes the disposable camera he was given and snaps a picture of the snake.

“That thing’s huge,” Shiro says, “there’s no way they wouldn’t see it missing. And if it did escape, they’d be making a big deal of it.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah, that makes sense,” Adam says, but still has an iron grip on Shiro’s shoulders. Okay, his boyfriend has ophidiophobia, noted.

They all watch it slither away, either entertained or terrified. It isn’t long before Keith is back to the hippos, pointing out and describing their behaviors to Adam and Shiro, who listen with interest.

“Wow, looks like we have an expert here today!” a voice says, drawing the trio’s attention. She’s an employee, judging by the uniform she’s got on. No one willingly wears a tan polo with tan khakis and a chunky walkie talkie. Either way, she’s adopted a “talking to kids” tone and is addressing Keith with a big smile. “I take it you’re fond of hippos?”

Keith nods. The woman responds, “That’s lovely. Our friends here are real happy to have such smart visitors!” She gestures to the hippos, who seem more interested in napping than humans with trivia, by Shiro’s guess. But he commends this woman for trying to befriend Keith “hates strangers” Kogane-Shirogane. He’s been there.

Speaking of, he’s awkwardly nodding along to what she’s saying, before his attention is grabbed by one hippo diving into the water in the corner of the huge enclosure. The woman is then ignored entirely, and she finally turns to Shiro and Adam.

“He’s one smart cookie,” she says in that quiet, conspiratorial, “talking about kids right in front of them” tone. “Y’all must be having fun today.”

“Oh yeah, he’s been begging to see this exhibit,” Adam says, “We’re having fun too, but he’s overjoyed.”

“Yeah, plus it’s really cool that you let the snakes wander like that,” Shiro says.

“Not that fun,” Adam grumbles, and Shiro chuckles.

“I’m sorry?” the woman asks, concern beginning to take over her bright smile.

“We just saw a snake crawling around,” Shiro clarifies. “Is that… not a thing here?”

The woman blanches. “…Please excuse me,” she says before speed walking away and hurriedly hissing into her radio.

Shiro, wide eyed, turns to Adam, who looks two minutes away from a panic attack.

“Okay Keith time to go,” Shiro says.

Oblivious to the entire conversation that just occurred, Keith whines, “Five more minutes?”

From the direction they saw the snake go, a scream rings out.

“Now,” Shiro says, and Keith doesn’t protest any more. The three of them promptly start hauling ass.

[prompt alphabet - send a letter!]

[animated-worlds-worst-dad]

Harsher in Hindsight #12

TW: mentions of self-harm and abuse

TO BE CLEAR: I am not equating autism with symptoms of abuse, or saying autism is a side-effect of abuse. This is just a guide for me when writing DDT!Donnie's character arc.

If I have offended/misinformed anyone, please comment down below and I will immediately revise this post.

Autistic characteristics:

Difficulty in developing motor skills

Low or High empathy (varies from person to person)

Difficulty reading/understanding social cues

Nonverbal episodes

Aversion to touch

Avoidance of eye contact

Stimming

Special interests

Difficulty regulating the volume of speech

Speaking in monotone/tone opposite of intended meaning

Using a strict schedule/ritualistic behavior and patterns

Sensory issues

Difficulty adjusting to unfamiliar environments

Difficulty regulating emotions

Symptoms of Abuse Victims:

Self-harm

Difficulty understanding alternative perspectives

Aversion to touch

Nonverbal episodes

Difficulty regulating emotions

Difficulty adjusting to unfamiliar environments

Self-destructive tendencies/behaviors

Intrusive thoughts

Separation anxiety

Difficulty keeping/maintaining boundaries

Hostility towards criticism

Difficulty addressing/expressing needs and wants

[hiccupologist]

so about that petplay hubworld au

  “I have a new client coming to visit in a few days. Are you good with that?”

  “Oh.” Simon said, quietly. He laced his fingers and examined the cuffs of his sweater for lint, something Betty recognized as a nervous behavior similar to a housecat grooming itself. He ultimately had no say in what happened, but he could tell her how he felt about it and she would comfort him appropriately, or even take mercy on him and work with the other Simon in one of her outbuildings. Once she made another Betty come and take her Ice King back after only one day because he’d scared her own Simon so badly with his behavioral problems. In short, Simon felt somewhat resigned, but optimistic nonetheless. “What… kind of Simon is he?”

  She sighed and patted her lap, which her husband eagerly took as invitation to snuggle up against her with his head nestled in her arms. She began to softly stroke his hair, following its slight curl. “That’s what I want to talk to you about, actually. So. He still has his crown.” She immediately felt Simon’s muscles stiffen and his heartrate speed up and felt a pang of guilt. As a Betty Grof variant, one of the reasons she was so desirable as a therapist and trainer was the fact that she’d managed to restore her Simon through… largely humane methods. Still, he wasn’t entirely back to his old self. His mind was intact, and she knew that was all either of them really cared about, but she couldn’t help but wonder if she had waited longer, that maybe she could have done things perfectly.

  The crown had left marks on him, even if they weren’t on his memories or the outside of his body. He had trouble processing his sensory input, issues with sleeping, he was certainly a little more emotionally fragile, or perhaps that was just the effects of trauma. He was incredibly uncomfortable with magic, moreso than usual for a mortal Simon, and hardly ever left the house. She decorated a cozy little study for him as a place where he could feel safe, and it immediately became his favorite place when it wasn’t practical to be at her side. One one side of the room was a wide, low slung daybed piled with cushions, soft blankets, and an impressive collection of flightless bird plushies. A shallow, tasteful wicker chest filled with his personal stims and chews peeked out from under the bed frame, hidden securely from the sight of any untrustworthy fellow Simons. The other side was dedicated to a wall of bookshelves and a large desk that could be used for exciting things such as cleaning stones or practicing calligraphy.

  “Well… as long as he isn’t too aggressive…”

  “I’ll be honest, I am going to be treating him for some… interpersonal challenges. But he’s not a regular Ice King. He’s called Winter King and it seems like he can be really friendly. Look, I have a video his Betty sent me. You can watch if you want.”

  She retrieved a gold and tortoiseshell ringed tablet from the pocket of her coat, and Simon brought himself up to a crouch and nuzzled into the side of her neck to watch. Someone was filming a slender, lithe ice elemental in what looked like a Victorian nightgown flailing excitedly on a red velvet sofa, at one point flopping upside down over the edge and addressing the camera with a cheerful, carefully articulated “Hi, Stranger Betty! I’m making an official diplomatic journey to your universe on behalf of the Winter Kingdom and it’s going to be super rad because I’m so much fun and people will actually tell you that!” He did a few dramatic scissor kicks with his bare legs, after which Betty abruptly paused the video and shut the screen off, but not in time to prevent a single, blurry frame from another clip from playing, an erratically posed figure in the same shade of turquoise. Simon was not entirely convinced, but of course, he had no real authority in the situation.

[babyspacebatclone]

@bdkdkens , I happened to see your reply to a comic from @autball asking about what ABA is, and it doesn’t look like you have had an answer yet.

I studied ABA as part of my Community Psychology degree, and am happy to give you a rundown.

ABA = Applied Behavioral Analysis

It is a specific school of psychology with an emphasis on changing the behaviors of people - “Applied” means the focus on change (and not just accumulation of data), Behavior is obvious, and “Analysis” is an indication of the intention to be “scientific.”

On it’s own, everything in ABA is neutral to good: understanding the situations in which people do behaviors, and the forces that can either cause them to do behaviors more (reinforce) or less (punish in a very scientific sense of ‘make less desirable’).

The issue is two fold:

ABA focuses only on the observable, as part of their “scientific” obsession. I phrase it that way because the choice of “observable” means that internal thoughts, memories, etc….. If the Analysis themselves can’t prove they exist? They are literally ignored as irrelevant. If they happen to interfere with the Analyst’s work? They are actively suppressed - punished out until they stop being a “problem.” Instead of, you know, addressed as part of the individual.

This is because the most important person in the equation of ABA is the Analyst. Not the client, and not even the patient - which may be two different people, in the case of working with children. The Analyst is the be all, end all expert, and everyone else needs to acknowledge that or, well, be punished for interfering with the Analyst’s work.

Point 1 is baked into ABA; if you want to include beliefs, memories of past experiences, and even intrusive thoughts as things that influence behavior and are important, you’re going to go into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I, myself, align strongly with CBT as a therapy philosophy.

Point 2 is technically avoidable, but having studied under old-school supporters of ABA it’s almost impossible to avoid in practice.

One of my courses in college was taught by an adjunct - that is, someone who works in the field and teacher part time as a service for people entering into the field.

He was humane, reasonable, and respectful of the clients (adults with moderate to severe mental or intellectual disabilities) and teaching them life skills.

He convinced me behavioral principles worked, even in situations where explaining necessary things to people was not possible.

My other classes????

The most recent textbook actively told the students to prevent Autistic patients from stimming because it would interfere with teaching them.

The core issue with using ABA to “correct” Autistic children is the culture of ABA is that you have to force the child to act Neurotypical/Allistic, no matter the cost to the child.

(I use both NT and Allistic because an ABA will use the same principles on trauma symptoms, depression symptoms, etc.)

The goal is to either make the child act NT - explicitly to conform to the societal majority - or else at least not act Autistic and therefore bother the Allistics.

Because conforming to society - as defined by the Analyst - is the end goal of the majority of ABA

Not learning life skills - life skills are a means towards conformity - not mental health - because remember the internal mind doesn’t matter - and definitely not what the patient wants.

The patient is a problem to be fixed. To be cured, or hidden.

And that is why ABA needs to be stopped, burned to ashes, and a new field of applied behavior technicians put in its place for situations where straight CBT is not able to be applied (because I admit there are levels of mental and intellectual disability that prevent CBT from being as effective as pure Behavioralism).

Unfortunately…..

Guess what’s easiest for parents for parents of Autistic children to find, and get insurance to cover????

😣 😣 😣

[nerves-nebula]

Not gonna pester u about sleeping cuz that would be hypocritical of me at the moment!!

Aba is good for one(1) thing. Figuring out what makes neurotypicals tick. And how to not do that. And it would be MUCH better done by dead of ass; looking into character dissections. Learned so.much from theories and shit in fandom then that h e l l.

And for reference a moment I recalled from aba✨:

I'll be using L for me and T for therapist, and M for my mom. As she sat in for all of these. :)

L: I don't get why they hit me. Or why they locked me in that room. (Context: "they" is a teacher)

M:thay didn't *hit* you. They restrained you cuz u were-

T: *puts up a finger to tell m to shut up* well, what did u do to cause them to do that?

L: I, I didn't do anything? I guess I was a little frustrated at my work, but I didn't DO anything.

T: well that's not true is it?

M: no it's not. *Addressing t only* The teachers called and said |redacted| was VERY rude and was acting violent.

L: I was not! I wanted help! I didn't understand what the directions meant and they weren't listening! They kept saying everything but what I needed help with!!!

T:so, you weren't communicating properly and acted violent?

L: not to them! I was trying the think, I had to MOVE to think.

T: well you cant do that! *Normal* people don't have to move to think and it's not good to move like that. Just sit there, quietly and be still. U got in trouble because you scare people. That's not okay. That's bad. U need to change your behavior. Okay. And mom: (at this point the therapist and my mom basically talked to each other all session while I shut down.

The elementary I got switched to in 4th grade after ri got kicked out of my last own to protect their image after two cops they called hogtied me and carried me out that shit hole after I put up with it's nonsense for four years of being told to kms for being sad my best friend died. Had a policy for the special ed classrooms that kids who acted out could get locked for up to two hours in a dinky ass little closet. It was hell.

The situation being referenced was me getting in trouble for stimming while trying to think to do my math homework they refused to help me with cuz they thought I should just know it already cuz I was so good at my ela work. I had at the time missed a good 8 months of school. It was pure nonsense to me. Aka: long division.

Haha, still can't do it and now it's a trigger ✌️ sorry to my 7th grade math teacher who tried to teach me, I can't remember cuz ptsd~

god that sounds fucking terrible. lets go beat up your ""therapist"" ,,, together <3

[9800sblog]

i'm going for their concert in a couple weeks now i'm nervous 😭 could you give any tips or anything if possible? i live in a different country obv so it'd be different but if you have some tips to share i'd love to hear them 🙏 also it's my first concert so i'm extra nervous esp when it comes to dealing with other fans..

the biggest problem was the stadium wasn't prepared for the concert, there's a football game today so they were preparing for the game not the show. I was in the disabled area too because I have autism but it was nothing adapted for autism, the staff didn't know shit about it either, they treated me like a child and crazy.

i think the fan behavior is a cultural thing, people from são paulo are so rude, selfish and desensitized,I almost passed out cause I was sick, I was falling and I had to find strength to get up by myself and ask the staff because nobody was looking out.

I don't think your experience would be same as mine, but I would recommend to bring supplements such as protein drinks and water cups to give you strength. wear light clothes but definitely bring heavier ones, wear a hat to protect your head and in case it rains, a mask because there's much smoke and things of sorts so you might get sick. many people had panic attacks, sick on their stomach and hurt feet - wear your comfiest, most protective shoe, protect your stomach area and your hands, eat very healthy and balanced all day, I don't recommend wearing makeup. if you have health issues take your medications properly, bring your documents, medical declarations, emergency phone numbers and the address where you're staying written down. if you have anxiety or something of sorts, bring squish, stim toys, it will help. wear gloves. don't get there too soon, you'll be fine, the view is great wherever. I'd say to watch more than film because there are so many videos online already and all performances are rehearsed to the core, everything they do is preordained, you'll find the same performance on youtube, so try to watch them themselves, instead of the big screen, they're so cool bro. they're really nice people, it's very comforting to watch them. after I got sick, I went back there to see them say goodbye and, when they talk, it's all rehearsed and fanservice, but when they stop the obligations and stand naturally, they are safe, I felt safe for the first time in 4 hours of concert at the end, when I saw mingi closer.

those are my tips, I hope it helps

[skippyv20]

For the mom with the child recently diagnosed with ASD...

1st - hugs to you and your family.    2nd definitely get a 2nd opinion    

My granddaughter was diagnosed with ASD when she was 2 1/2 - her parents were not shocked by the diagnosis because my son-in-law's brother is autistic and he recognized some of the behaviors, however they still questioned the diagnosis because she was so young.     My granddaughter  had speech delay, sensory issues, walked on her toes, would spin endlessly, etc. She will be 6 in September and in the 1st grade.  

From 2 ½ to 5 years of age, she was  fortunate to be in a medical care area with an Autism treatment plan for behavioral, speech, sensory and occupational therapy working in coordination with each other.  (I believe this is the protocol nationwide but am not positive).   She was very fortunate that despite her parents questioning the diagnosis they recognized that the therapy would only help their daughter even if the diagnosis was wrong.    The therapy helped my granddaughter start at grade level for Kindergarten (some areas she was above grade level)     

My daughter researched the different behavioral and academic challenges  of Autism and the techniques and items parents could use to address those challenges. For example ..kinetic sand, play dough and finger paint for sensory.  Stress balls, special chew toys/necklaces, textured clothing and blankets to help with stimming.   A Sit and Spin and one of those small  indoor trampolines  to help with the need for movement.  A cocoon swing when my granddaughter needed reduced sensory input or to self calm when transitioning between activities or just another way to spin. A weighted blanket to help with trouble falling asleep and calming on car rides.  Educational shows downloaded to a tablet..the repetitiveness of the shows help with vocabulary, speech, learning numbers and some social and life skills.  Noise canceling headphones to help with audio sensitivity.  A wrist leash because my granddaughter is a runner  or having my granddaughter wear a backpack with books or water bottles in it  when out in public with only one parent because it slows her down.  Also a tracker  that was worn around her waist when out in a crowded area like the zoo or shopping with one parent.  For toe walking - high top shoes and making games out of walking flat footed like marching or stomp walking .  (she still toe walks at times but simply telling her "flat feet" stops the toe walking for longer periods of time) A food diary to help determine if my granddaughter didn’t like the taste of certain foods or was it the texture -  applesauce is good, raw apples a no, cooked carrots good, carrot sticks no, cooked pears no but raw pear good. Cheese slice no, string cheese good. Jello cups no, jello cubes good.  yogurt cup no, gogurt good. My daughter also keeps my granddaughter on a schedule for meal times, bath time, tablet time, bed times which lessened the meltdowns over changing activities. 

If your community has an Autism Society or Foundation besides being an excellent resource for information, they also host fun events for children of all ages.

I am sure you are very overwhelmed at the moment.    I do want to stress that treatment and therapy for ASD has improved substantially in the last 5 years compared to 10 years ago.   Definitely seek the 2nd opinion and definitely follow through with any therapy suggested by the medical team - regardless of the diagnosis - therapy will only help your child.    Trust your instincts, if you or your child do not fit well with a therapist or Dr.  find someone you and your child feel comfortable with.  What works for one child may not work for another child and that is okay..you will find what works best for your child.      

Thank you so much for sharing, and caring. Much appreciated❤️❤️❤️❤️

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw talk of nail biting? and stimming ig? i dunno wtf to tag this with, sorry.

okay, this is gonna sound really stupid. like. ik this is me overreacting but i feel like i just need to talk about it. advice would be great but if you just want this to be a vent, that's fine. im Xra.

i bite my nails ok? i bite my nails, i like, gnaw on my hands, pick at my skin, shit like that, I always have. the gnawing thing is a stim, like, i'm autistic and sometimes i just have half my hand in my mouth trying to comfort myself or contain my feelings. which sounds gross, i know it does, trust me, i've been told, you don't have to tell me. i've tried to stop. i briefly stopped biting my nails. long nails are sensory HELL and something bad happened and i just fell right back into it and i never stopped any of the other stuff.

but i have a sister, who i avoid, bc she's mean to me most of the time. i don't mean like, 'ooh my sister is just annoying :/ i hate not being an only child', i mean she's always telling me shit like she used to hate me, and stuff i need to work on so that i'm not so "abrasive" or "weird" or telling me stories about every time i messed up when i was little and how stupid i looked, which is realy fun because some of those incidents i didn't even realize i was looking stupid! she makes me feel bad. ANYWAY. she also likes to point out and kind of pick on me for my nail biting shit.

but she pointed it out when my mom was in the room. and most people don't say anything about it bc they know im very self conscious about it. but my sister was going on and on about how i needed to get a handle on it and how it looked nasty and then she turned to my mom and she was like right? and my mom, who usually says nothing at all about it! and has never been mean about it like this! went off on a tangent about how my dad bites his nails, his mom bites her nails, and how its a "generalational curse" from his side and how i'll probably do it all my life and chip my teeth and wear down my nails and have all sorts of complications that i'll have to deal with because she can't handle trying to convince me to stop. it was just. i was straight up crying. it was awful.

i guess it was meant to be a wake up call for me. and i guess i get it. its disgusting. and i'm fucked up or whatever. but i can't stop. especially bc of the whole autism and stimming shit. i know it's stupid to get upset because. she's right, i SHOULD stop, it is bad, ect ect, but i can't stop feeling really hurt about it because like-she never even apologized and she just pretends it didn't happened but now i feel even worse about it all and even more anxious, which makes me do it more. :/

Hi Xra,

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been going through. Please know that you're not alone.

While biting nails may be a destructive behavior depending on how serious it is, the way your family has approached it seems to be exacerbating it. It sounds like your family shames you for doing this, which may be making you do it more, or feel more secretive or shameful about it. But feeling shameful about it or wanting to hide it is not really going to address the situation or make you feel comfortable enough to work towards a healthier substitute.

It sounds like your sister is constantly criticizing you, and not in a constructive way. It doesn't sound like she necessarily wants you to improve or do what she can to foster a supportive environment in which you feel encouraged to work on improving, rather it sounds like she makes snide comments like that she used to hate you and just overall making you feel insecure. Though your sister may be frustrated with your nail biting, there are far more considerate and helpful ways to address it.

While I don't know the exact extent of your nail biting habits, it's worth considering that biting one's nails is actually extremely common, and though some people may see it as gross, it's mainly just seen as a sign of stress. It's essential to have healthier coping mechanisms in place that provide comfort and help you manage stress and anxiety. Exploring alternative stims or finding calming activities can be helpful in redirecting the need for stimming through nail biting.

It's important to remember that changing a long-standing habit takes time and patience. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, try to approach this with self-compassion and understanding. Know that you deserve support and encouragement in finding healthier ways to manage your stress and emotions.

If you feel comfortable, you may want to discuss your concerns with a therapist who specializes in autism or anxiety. They can provide guidance and strategies specific to your needs. Additionally, seeking out online communities or support groups for individuals with similar experiences might be beneficial. Connecting with others who understand what you're going through can provide a sense of validation and support.

Please know that you are not defined by your nail-biting habit, and it doesn't diminish your worth as a person. Focus on self-care, finding healthy coping mechanisms, and surrounding yourself with understanding and supportive individuals.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[doberbutts]

your chat about Tater's behaviour made me think of something. My dog is generally a normal dog. a goof, but not... like... doesn't be have like Tater

BUT he always presses his side into walls/fences when we are walking. Like, to scratch his back. that's what I've always assumed at least. but.. its only when we're out walking. he doesn't do it in the halls at home or at friends houses etc, just on walks. its also not his harness because he does it on harness or on collar, he does it after a good back scratch. some times he presses so hard he walking at less than 45 degrees from the ground - very occasionally he ends up on the ground entirely.

I've always just taken it as some silly quirk of his.. but do you think I should get a video of it and talk to his vet about it /genq

It's something I'd ask about at his next visit but "side" is different from "head". Head pressing is almost always a serious neurological sign that needs to be identified and addressed right away. Sometimes dogs do have silly tics and neuroses and stereotypic behavior, sometimes dogs go 'hehehehehe texture go brrrr' and repeat the same motion again and again almost like a stim, and those are generally harmless. Head pressing is not one of those.

[monriatitans]

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I explore the topic of unmasking after an autism diagnosis later in life. Plus, I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autism #asd #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike

⏱ Index: 00:00 - Welcome 00:57 - Unmasking 03:45 - Challenges 17:51 - Strategies

🙏 Thanks so much for watching, rating, commenting, sharing and subscribing, I really appreciate it! You're helping me raise the level of understanding and acceptance of the Autistic community. You can show your support for my channel by doing any of these things:

1️⃣ SUBSCRIBE to my channel. 2️⃣ LIKE / COMMENT / SHARE my videos. 3️⃣ SEND me a Super Thanks 4️⃣ Become a channel member:    / @orionkelly   5️⃣ BUY my book: https://orionkelly.com.au/shop

📬 Business Postal Address (Sponsorship proposals, promotional considerations etc) Orion Kelly Media, PO Box 457, Inverloch, VIC, Australia 3996

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

🔵 CHANNEL LINKS 🔵 More Videos:    / @orionkelly   My PODCAST Channel:    / @orionkellypodcasts  

🔵 CONNECT 🔵 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OrionKellyInc Twitter: https://twitter.com/orionkelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/orionkelly_... TikTok: @orionkelly_australia Website: https://orionkelly.com.au

🎧 My Friend Autism' PODCAST 🎧 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast... Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6d6UVtN... Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/orio...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ABOUT ORION: Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (YouTuber), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.

#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️

Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

being autistic, for me, has involved learning so many really basic problem solving skills basically starting as an adult just because my young life was more or less completely defined by people trying to suppress the ideas and behaviors and habits that i had that felt good and made sense to me, and telling me that that was one of the Many Incorrect ways to do things and i had to do the One Correct way like they did or else they would keep humiliating me about the way i did things. like wearing clothes wrong or stimming in inappropriate ways around other people werent addressed as things that were created by reasonings and thus had alternatives, they were just treated as me having a wrong brain and having to be corrected by being told the rules. i didnt figure out that i could layer clothes for comfort or fashion until i was literally 15 or 16 because i was so sure that i had to do things the right way, which is pants + shirt + coat only if its cold enough for a coat. my siblings both tried very hard to convince my parents to let them wear their shoes on the opposite feet and it always turned into a fight because they hated wearing shoes the right way, when if it had been treated as a rational human behavior they could have gotten more comfortable shoes, or been made to wear shoes less often, or someone even couldve figured out that it was because all of us have severely collapsed arches and that means that shoes dont fit right. this is a longer post than it was supposed to be but the point is that its weird having to feel like youre passing milestones of basic rational thought that you shouldve had down at like 9 years old, and you probably DID have it down but you were trained so good you permanently forgot how to think for yourself. being autistic just crushes you from all directions

[mirandamckenni1]

Tips to Overcome Demand Avoidance for Autistic Adults Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I explore the topic of managing demand avoidance in Autistic Adults. Plus, I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autism #asd #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike 🙏 Thanks so much for watching, rating, commenting, sharing and subscribing, I really appreciate it! You're helping me raise the level of understanding and acceptance of the Autistic community. You can show your support for my channel by doing any of these things: 1️⃣ SUBSCRIBE to my channels. 2️⃣ LIKE / COMMENT / SHARE my videos. 3️⃣ SEND me a Super Thanks 4️⃣ Become a channel member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCerYpTmasyCOuy9WH2qEeCg/join 5️⃣ BUY my book: https://ift.tt/PksCoN0 📬 Postal Address: Orion Kelly Media, PO Box 457, Inverloch, VIC, Australia 3996 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 🔵 CHANNEL LINKS 🔵 More Videos: https://youtube.com/@orionkelly My PODCAST Channel: https://youtube.com/@orionkellypodcasts 🔵 CONNECT 🔵 Facebook: https://ift.tt/fdLp4sa Twitter: https://twitter.com/orionkelly Instagram: https://ift.tt/YzNtMv2 TikTok: @orionkelly_australia Website: https://ift.tt/LiC5AfI 🎧 My Friend Autism' PODCAST 🎧 Apple: https://ift.tt/t2lTghq Spotify: https://ift.tt/2r8pJmd Stitcher: https://ift.tt/Bw6sW0r ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ABOUT ORION: Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (YouTuber), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about providing validation and support for Autistic people and their loved ones. #AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️ Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xun5zjki5JE

[spaceumbredoggos]

Why you shouldn’t use aversive privilege revoking as a “punishment” for PDA autism.

Disclaimer: When I speak of the word “Privilege” I mean it as a term for screen time, time devoted to special interests, and even in some cases my mattress. Trigger warning is in effect for abuse (taking the mattress away, being forced to sleep outside.) and abuse enabling by mandated reporters. I am not saying that privilege revoking in of it itself is an abusive practice. But it is something you should avoid.

That being said, all of the mentioned events are true. I will not place citations as these are personal experiences. In a world where people are realizing the harmfulness of spanking and corporal punishment, that taking away privileges can be just as detrimental. Keep in mind this doesn’t exclude age appropriate consequences such as when a kid breaks a toy that they don’t get to play with those toys if and only if underlying issues are addressed. There are natural consequences for behavior that should be taught. What I am talking about is revoking privileges for symptoms of mental illness and neurodiversity.

Accepting neurodiversity is learning that you have PDA specific autism that lurks with problems in executive dysfunction instead of harshly punishing your autistic child heavily by taking everything away from them (screens, books… my mattress was taken from me from a PDA shutdown.) Taking things away from children as a consequence causes children not to learn from their behavior. An example of this is when my parents and shitty ABA therapists would take away my laptop, Nintendo switch, basically anything that would have to do with my special interests as a form of punishment for whenever I would eat in my room (for context, we had consistent problems with ants.) Not only did this encourage me to hide food wrappers and evidence of eating in my room, it would cause me to have a panic attack whenever I would get near getting caught, causing conflict and emotional stress that would lead to yelling and emotional abuse from both ends. Not to mention, a lot of this was a form of stimming with safe foods that I would eat in excess (essentially a binge eating disorder of sorts.) My parents then punished me by trying to get me to buy everything I ate in excess at Costco, which was a sensory unhealthy place. I was feeling beyond ashamed at this point where I wanted to die. I was hospitalized and after the hospitalization, I had my phone and other electronics taken away until I finished with school. This was to not “taint my mind” any further. (I’m glossing over the full story for a lot of privacy reasons, and for the fact that I don’t want any of my content to capitalize on the mistakes of what has been done to me. For example, if I were to make a YouTube video on this, I would turn off ad revenue and donate to an autistic led organization.)

Anyways, aversive punishment for a PDA autistic individual doesn’t remove the undesirable behavior and makes undesirable behaviors more frequent such as violent PDA specific meltdowns, shutdowns, and burnout. It also fails to address why the undesired behavior takes place in the first place. I would get severe anxiety from losing my privileges and any fact that I would consider losing my privileges. Adults in my life were never clear, and would make me carry out all my tasks before telling me if I lost all my privileges. The rules were never clear, where sometimes, the boundary was set too soon while other times, the boundary was set too late.

I used to have violent PDA avoidant meltdowns that were treated with ABA therapy. Keep in mind, this intervention was put in place because I was at risk for being put in an institution at a preteen age. The aversive practices didn’t start at the beginning. It started out when I had drawn on the walls during a violent PDA meltdown. They had restricted my access to television until my walls were clean. They stuck with this punishment for months on end until my dad decided to paint over it with me. A natural consequence, but then they kept the restricted access to television rule whenever I would have a “violent outburst” so that every time I would have one, I would lose access to the television for an entire week.