#after all this time i’m still obsessed with this song and this album

[in-this-light-on-this-evening]

You burn like a bouncing cigarette on the road

All sparks will burn out in the end

[in-som-niyah]

hi!! i’m literally so obsessed with your work i’ve been scrolling your profile all day 😭😭 i was wondering if you could write something about jason x fem!reader getting married? mostly fluff but ill never say no to some good smut

a/n: "i’m literally so obsessed with your work i’ve been scrolling your profile all day" WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNNN STOP UR GONNA MAKE ME CRY THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME HELLO??? like wdym u like my work so much u spend so much time on my blog i love u gimme kiss

anyway this prompt is *chefs kiss* bc we all know Big Bad Jason Todd™ is such a loverboy softie but most of all he loves hard.

I think that before he met you he never thought that he would be so enamoured with someone who also feels the same way about him at the same time, that also wants to marry him??? He thinks he's too flawed and violent and abrasive for someone to even like being around him. So marrying him??? haha you're funny.

But after YEARS (yes, it takes him years of a committed relationship with you to fully trust that you actually like being with him for an extended period of time, let alone forever) of handling his emotions, outbursts and injuries with grace while still giving him a whack at the back of his head when he's being stupid, he considers marrying you.

Remember, Jason Todd is fucking scared himself, and he doesn't want to scare you off with a ring that literally promises forever with him. Though he loves you, he wants you to be happy in the end. Will you be happy with him in the end?

It takes a lot of mental and emotional strength to overcome these fears that swirl around his head.

When he does get over it though, he's so attentive yet sneaky when picking your ring. There's a luxury jewellery store on the way to your favourite clothing store at the mall, and he literally takes you to the whole mall just to pass by the store. He always looks to see what your eyes catch, what you like and don't like. Doesn't matter if he ends up spending hundreds since you're at the mall so much, he'll do it just to make sure he gets exactly what you want.

Jason also uses his extensive detective training to find out what cut and stone you want on the ring. He's ok with diamonds, but would want something more unique and personal for his love. He wants something that always reflects you, no matter the occasion.

Side note: once the ring comes he would definitely put together a photo album of pics he took of the ring in plain sight while you're completely oblivious just for shits and giggles

Finally, when it's time to pop the question, he doesn't do flashy and big productions with lights and letters and petals and stuff.

He would be dancing in the kitchen with you on a lazy Saturday, eating pancakes and bacon and when the song ends just casually asks "if I were to ask you, would you marry me?" Now he looks collected as he lovingly smiles down at you but is actually shitting himself until you say that you would in fact marry him if he asked. Then he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the most perfect, detailed, gorgeous ring you could ever ask for while properly asking you to marry him. Cue the waterworks (from both of you) and the celebratory make-out sesh.

Y'all definitely fucking the night of the proposal though

I feel like it would be realllllly possessive since yk you literally belong to him now

"tell me who this pussy belongs to, pretty girl" Knowing full well you can't answer because your eyes have already rolled back mid-stroke and you're babbling incoherently. It does, however, put a smug ass smirk on his face.

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a/n pt2 bc i can't shut up: i hope u like it!!! i wasn't in the mood to write anything smutty but idk im in my soft era for jason i just want his stoic self to love me :(((((

[taeyeonschild]

《sleeping apart, after a fight || maknae line ver.》

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pairing: maknae line (separate) x gn!reader

genre: i dunno, you tell me. (fluff? angst?? SMUT??!?? no it’s not smut dw😌)

contains: exactly as it says in the title

warnings: !!!uncomfortable couch!!!

A/N: idk what i’m doing, any more than you do. why did i choose to write this? i have no clue 🤷‍♀️

on a completely unrelated note: here’s a song i’m obsessed with right now

hyung line | maknae line

Han

He watches as you grab your pillow and blanket from the bed, then angrily stomp into the living room.

When he hears the door slam, he sinks to the ground in a sigh.

He sits there, in silence for a few minutes, just to calm himself down, before anxiously tiptoeing into the living room, and approaching you.

“How about, I take the couch, and you go take the bed? I know your mad at me, and I feel bad, but I’d feel way worse if you wake up tomorrow with a sore back from this couch.”

You silently agree, while getting up from the couch to hand him the pillow and blanket.

“We’ll talk tomorrow morning?”

You reply with only a nod, too tired and overwhelmed to do much else.

The bed is a lot more comfortable than the couch, it’s a good thing you have a boyfriend who cares enough to make that trade for you.

An hour later, Jisung is still lying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. It's not comfortable at all, and he can feel every spring poking into his back. He rolls around, doing anything he can to try to get comfortable, but it is no use.

“Gah!”

He groans quietly to himself, and he eventually picks himself up off of the couch and walks to the bedroom.

A strong arm wraps around your waist. Still angry, but you don’t fight it.

“The couch is uncomfortable. I’d rather be here with you. I love you”

In the morning the fight is forgotten, and all is well in quokkaville.

Felix

He can’t sleep without you.

He’ll lay alone in the guest bedroom for an hour or two, scared to anger you more.

At 3am he finally sneaks into the bed beside you.

(If you’re asleep, he will quietly climb under the covers, and wrap you in his arms, very careful not to wake you up.)

If you are awake he just sits there, looking at you.

His hand gently rubs up an down your shoulder.

You are stubborn, and refuse to face him.

“Y/n i’m sorry… okay?”

“I forgot our date I know, I’ve just been so caught up with work… and I know that’s not an excuse, it’s my fault for forgetting. but I promise it won’t happen again, my love. I’m so sorry”

He practically begs you to forgive him

“Please darling… forgive me. I love you, and I can’t stand you being angry at me. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’ll take you out tomorrow, and the day after, and every day after that. I’ll never forget a date again. I’ll even take friday off of work, and we can spend the whole day together!”

He rambles on and on, just trying to convince you to look at him.

But he stop’s suddenly when he sees your shoulder shake slightly, and he hears a sniffle.

“Oh god, oh no. Are you crying? Y/n I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to!”

He holds your waist tightly and kisses your neck, doing anything he can to comfort you.

“i just feel like, i’m not a priority anymore. we haven’t gone out in a month.” you speak through sniffles, and choked sobs.

“No no no! Y/n you are always my number one! I’ve just been really busy with this new comeback, i haven’t had much time to think about really anything else. But i’m sorry, truly. I never want you to feel unloved. You are, and will always be, the most important thing to me, my love.”

He hugs you, and rocks you slowly off to sleep. All is well, all is forgiven, all there is, is love, between you.

Seungmin

“I’m done!! I’m sleeping in the guest room. We’ll finish this tomorrow!” you finally snap, then storm out of the living room.

Stubborn x equally as stubborn, is your relationship trope. You both know that this fight won’t end, until one of you puts your pride aside, to start the apologies.

Tonight, you refuse to be that person.

The guest bedroom is cold and lonely, you spend the whole night wondering how Seungmin is doing… He’s probably having a fantastic time in the big bed all to himself…

Your prediction couldn’t be any less correct.

Seungmin is eating himself up inside with guilt, he can’t sleep any more than you can.

Part of him is glad that you aren’t in the same room, since he always wants to appear strong infront of you. He would never want you to find him weak and crying like he is now..

The night is long, and uncomfortable, and cold, and neither of you can sleep.

After an hour or so, of suffering, Seungmin gives into the pain, and knocks on the guest bedroom door.

Angrily, you ignore him, but he enters anyways.

You look like a mess, your hair is a rats nest from hoe much you’ve tossed and turned, your face is all red and puffy from crying.

Without speaking, he crawls into the bed beside you, wrapping his arms around your torso.

He gives you no space to refuse, but it’s not like you’d want to anyways…

“Let’s just stop fighting. I love you. Goodnight y/nnie”

Jeongin

“I’m sleeping on the couch tonight”

His disappointed, quiet tone, hurts you even more that it would’ve if he had yelled it.

Before you have any time to rebut, he leaves the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

“Jeongin!!” he ignores your call.

He sets up the couch to the best of his ability, but it is anything but comfortable.

He lays in silence staring at the ceiling for what feels like an eternity, till he hears your footsteps echo down the hall.

Your sniffles break him, but he wants to remain strong. He knows that looking at you will break him, so he pretends to be asleep.

You kneel beside him, on the floor, and gently stroke his arm.

“Innie?”

He doesn’t reply initially, keeping his eyes closed to stay in character. But hearing your sniffles breaks him.

“Yeah?”

“Please come to bed. We don’t have to talk, we can stay on opposite sides of the bed. I just need you with me.” you beg.

Hearing this hurts him. He tries his hardest to avoid eye contact, knowing that he will instantly forgive you, if he even so much as looks at your face.

“Okay, i’ll come. I just need some time. We’ll talk tomorrow, alright?”

He then gets off of the couch, slowly walking to the bedroom. He climbs into his side of the bed, and you follow after.

You lay, facing away from eachother. Both wide awake, and unable to sleep.

There’s no way to prevent the tears that fall from your eyes, and you begin to choke back sobs. You try your best to stay quiet, to allow Jeongin peace and quiet. But of course, he can hear you.

As much as he wants to pretend he’s asleep, he feels bad seeing you like this. It’s clear that the guilt is eating you up inside, and it’s making him feel even worse.

Carefully, he wraps his arm around your waist, and you can feel his breath on your neck.

“Sshhh, lovely.. It’s okay. I am mad, but we’ll figure it out tomorrow. I still love you. Now go to sleep”

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: Birthday Boy

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Summary: December 10th, Joe’s 27th birthday spent with you and your twin boys.

Warnings: Fluff, *he's not injured!!*

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Into The Mystic

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December 10th, 2023

Joe had awoken in bed by himself this morning to his surprise. He had expected you, his wife, to be waking him with smooches all over his face but your side of the bed was empty.

He rolled over to grab his phone off his nightstand when the setup sitting on it made him smile. Every year since you and Joe got together in high school when you guys were 16 and 17, on Joe’s birthday you'd get him white roses. The number of them would be the age he was turning that day. There they were, 27 white roses in a vase.

Realizing there was a card and a gift bag propped up next to it, Joe leaned up in bed and picked up the card first.

Happy Birthday, Joey!

Gosh, how are you 27?! You're getting old babe. JKJK. I just wanted to tell you that I’m so happy to share another birthday with you, this is the 11th one that we've celebrated together and I hope I've made every year better than the last. 26 was such a year for you, and I'm proud to say I was by your side for all of it. Cheers to another year of getting to show you how much I love you. You're my husband, my rock, my happiness, my high school sweetheart, and most importantly my best friend. I love you more than words can explain, Joey Shiesty.

To my nerdy, quirky, antisocial, video game, Kid Cudi-obsessed boy, Happy 27th birthday.

Love, your y/n.

Joe didn't realize tears were streaming down his cheeks till he put the card down and saw a wet spot on the blanket on his lap. He quickly composed himself and grabbed the gift bag.

Pulling the contents out of the bag, he felt his eyes well up again when he realized it was a photo album.

It was white leather and on the front in gold font, it simply read “Us.”

Joe flipped to the first page and it had a song lyric quoted.

“When they wanna see how true love should be, they'll just look at us.”

Flipping the page again, it was a collage of pictures of you and him as high school lovebirds. A picture of him picking you up after a win while you were in your cheer uniform, one of you two sitting next to each other at lunch just smiling from ear to ear, you and him sitting in the back of one of his friend's truck while at a drive-in movie, a pic of you two at senior prom, and finally one of you guys graduating.

Joe flipped the page and wasn't at all surprised to see it was the Ohio State era of his life. Since Joe was a year older than you, you were stuck in Athens still when Joe was a freshman at OSU. Long distance sucked, but you guys made it work, and multiple pictures were showcasing that. You took screenshots of you and Joe's face timing that he had never seen before. There was a lovesick look in his eye that made Joe giggle knowing he's still just as infatuated with you. His favorite picture was the one of him lying on top of you in his dorm bed, you were running your fingers through his mullet as you cuddled him.

The LSU page made Joe’s heart warm, so many pictures of you standing to the side and smiling at him just so proud of everything he had accomplished during his time there. There was one slightly spicy photo that made Joe do a double take. That was the first photo you had ever sent him with the intention of turning him on. While Joe was out doing something with the team after winning the national championship you put nothing on but his letterman jacket and the “Big Dick Joe” that he had.

The next few pages only made Joe smile get bigger.

In order it was him getting drafted, the 2022 AFC Championship win + engagement, the wedding, finding out I was pregnant, the gender reveal, the boy's arrival, and everything in between.

When the last few pages were empty for more memories Joe shut the book and put it off to the side. He again had to compose himself and wipe his eyes after the emotional walk through memory lane, you guys had been through so much together and Joe couldn't a picture his life without you.

Joe was about to text you but as soon as he went to grab his phone you were walking into the bedroom. Truthfully you had been downstairs listening to him secretly through the baby monitor you had put up in the bedroom. You had heard him wrestle around in the sheets before sniffles were heard. After it went quiet for a bit you went upstairs and watched him through the cracked bedroom door as he wiped his eyes.

You walked towards the bed with a stack of pumpkin-flavored pancakes topped with candles singing Happy Birthday as Joe wore a huge grin.

After you were finished singing, Joe blew out the candles and you placed the plate on his lap.

“G’morning, Joey. Happy Birthday, my love. - you

He pulled you into a hug and squeezed you so tight.

“I love you so much, y/n.” - Joe

You rubbed his back and kissed him after you pulled away, his arms still around your waist.

“What did you wish for when you blew out your candles?” - you

“Can't tell you, you know it wouldn't come true if I did.” - Joe

“You're no fun.” - you

“I'm just kidding, baby. I actually didn't make a wish.” - joe

“What why? Did I not give you enough time to? I'm sor-” - you

“No. You gave me plenty of time. I just don't have anything to wish for. I have everything I could ever want or need so there's no need for me to wish for something. I have a beautiful amazing wife, perfect twin boys, a good career…” - Joe

You stared at him dumbfounded, wondering how you were ever able to bag this sweet man.

“You’re gonna make me cry.” - you sniffled

“C’mere.” - Joe opened his arms to you

Immediately in his embrace, Joe held the back of your head and kissed your temple.

“I've already cried twice.” - Joe giggled

“Awe Joey. Okay enough sappy stuff, you eat your birthday breakfast while I go clean the kitchen up.” - you pulled away from him and headed for the door when he stopped you

“Wait don't go! I'll help you clean later, can you stay with me right now?” - Joe

You smiled sweetly at him before waking back over to the bed and getting under the covers with him.

Joe turned on Spongebob and ate his pancakes, a few minutes in you heard little feet in the hallway before knocks on the door could be heard.

“Mommy? Daddy?” - Tyson

“You can come in, Ty!” - Joe

The twins happily opened the door and toddled over to the bed. You lifted them onto the bed and they sat with their backs against the footboard.

Tyson giggled as he jokingly got his hand under the covers and tickled Joe’s foot. Joe played along with it for a little bit, loving the sound of his son’s laugh before he started fighting back.

“Do you boys remember what today is?” - you

“Uhm… no momma.” - Miles

“It's someone's birthday!” - you

Tyson and Miles looked at each other for a second before they gasped at the same time and yelled out the answer in unison.

“Daddy’s!” - The twins yelled

“Mhm! Remember what you guys made yesterday?” - you

The boys nodded and you instructed them to go retrieve what they made from their room.

Joe gave you a skeptical raised eyebrow look, but you just leaned in and kissed him while you still had the chance.

It wasn't long till you could hear those little feet again and Tyson and Miles were running back into the bedroom. They handed Joe a few pieces of paper after he put his empty plate on his nightstand.

Tyson drew a picture of him, his daddy, and his uncles passing football at the practice fields.

Miles drew a picture of him and Joe playing with Hot Wheels tracks.

The drawings had Joe feeling a different form of bliss, his heart warmed to an insane level as he looked at the little details in his boys’ drawings.

“I love them, boys. Thank you.” - Joe croaked

“You welcome!” - Tyson beamed

“Dada? You sad?” - Miles

“No, Daddy’s really happy.” - Joe

“But you cryin'…” - Miles

“He’s crying happy tears buddy, really happy tears.” - Joe

“Oh… okay!” - Miles

“You guys should go play. Mommy and Daddy are gonna clean up before Gramps and Grammy come.” - you

When the boys left the room you turned to Joe who was still crying. You softly kissed his cheek and wiped his tears off of his cheeks.

“You okay, baby?” - you

“Never been better. This is the best feeling.” - Joe

“Good. They worked hard on those. Come follow me downstairs. I have something cool to show you.” - you

“You gonna give me my 27 birthday spankings? Or is that later?” - joe

You laughed as you pulled him out of bed and shoved him into the closet, asking without words for him to put clothes on since he was only in boxers.

He returned in sweatpants and a T-shirt and followed you downstairs.

“Is the cool thing you have to show me a sink full of dishes? Or do I have to unload the dishwasher?” - Joe

“You’re exempt from those chores today since you are the birthday boy. But no, I’m giving you one of your gifts now.” - you

Joe smiled and I told him to close his eyes as we started walking into the kitchen. He did as you said and you took his hands in yours to guide him to where the setup on the counter was. You smiled at the secret camera you had recording and dropped Joe’s hands.

Telling him to open his eyes, Joe looked around rather confused but when he looked down at the counter his eyes went as wide as saucers.

There was a positive Clearblue test next to the same onesie you showed Joe when you found out you were pregnant with the twins.

You watched Joe’s eyes start to water as his chin started quivering, causing your own eyes to get misty as you smiled at him.

“You’re pregnant?” - Joe grinned

“Mhm.” - you smiled as tears dripped down your face

Immediately his arms were around you, lifting you and spinning you around as he cried into your neck.

“We’re having another baby!” - Joe cried

When he put you down, Joe picked up the pregnancy test with shaky hands and fell against the counter with his head buried in his arms. He was so overcome with emotion.

“Are you happy?” - you rubbed his back

Joe stood up abruptly and nodded vigorously.

“I've never been so happy. What if we have a girl, y/n? I could be a girl dad.” - Joe cried again

“Oh baby.” - you pulled him into your arms

Joe hugged you so tight but was now trying not to put pressure on your stomach now that he was aware his baby was in there.

“I love you so much, y/n. You and our family are the best things to have ever happened to me. I can't believe we're having another baby.” - Joe

“I love you and our babies so much. I can't believe it either, I'm so excited.” - you

“How long have you known? Well about the baby?” - Joe

“Not too long, found out a couple of days ago and thought I'd wait till today.” - you

Joe nodded and leaned down to be level with your stomach. It hasn't gotten bigger yet but Joe didn't care, his baby was still in there.

“Hey, baby. It's your daddy. Me and your momma already love you so much. We can't wait to meet you.” - Joe

“I have an ultrasound next week. Think you can go?” - you

“For sure. I'll make it happen.” - Joe

The rest of the day Joe couldn't keep his hands off of you, always making sure you weren't farther than arm's length away from him.

Robin asked what was up later at dinner when you rejected your usual favorite wine that she and Jimmy had brought.

You and Joe were ecstatic to tell his parents about Baby Burrow #3 coming next fall and they were just as happy finding out about their next grandkid.

That night after dinner, dessert (pumpkin pie of course), and putting the boys to sleep, Joe and I were lying in bed talking about everything baby.

“y/n, you know, I've only been 27 for a day but I feel like it's going to be the best year yet.” - Joe

“You think so?” - you

“I know so because I’m gonna spend it with you, our boys, and baby Burrow.” - Joe

You had a strange feeling that Joe was right, but also an overwhelming feeling of love washed over you. How'd you get so lucky with Joe?

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Authors note: happy bday Joey B!

there was a birthday imagine request in my messages so here you go!

hope you enjoyed! 💕

[bellaaae]

Yn obsessing over Mitski for 6mins straight [1.3M views]

— Clip 1✰

Yn was doing her solo live.While reading the comments as well.

“Yn what song is playing in the background?” She read out the comment. “Oh it’s Mine all mine by Mitski” Yn told the fan giggling.

“It’s one of my favorite song this days” Yn laughed.

“Yn is such a big Mitski fan” yn read out then smiling brightly.

— Clip 2✰

Hanni and minji’s live.

“There’s a sound coming from Yn’s room,Like music” Hanni said slowly vibing her head to the music.

“Oh she plays this song everyday!” Minji said trying to listen to the music lyrics.

“I think it’s a Mitski song cause she told me she was obsessed with the artist” Minji told Hanni who nodded.

“Thinking of getting her a Mitski album now” Hanni said with a thinking face.

“Yn would totally love that” Minji said looking at Hanni who smiled after knowing that the maknae would love the gift.

— Clip 3✰

“I love playing songs on this speaker in my bedroom especially mitski songs” Yn showed the speaker to the camera.

“Hyein unnie got me this on my 15th birthday” Yn said holding the speaker carefully. “I’m really grateful because now I can blast Mitsiki songs very loudly while having my own karaoke” Yn said sticking out her tongue.

“The song in currently playing is me and my husband” Yn spoke reading the comments.

“Yn I’m also a Mitski fan ;)” she read out the comment and got really excited.

“Yay! Another Mitski fan!” She said which a high tone.

“Let’s be friends” Yn added and the comment immediately responded with “YESSS :D”.

— Clip 4✰

On Yn’s birthday live.

Hanni came in and surprised yn with a gift wrapped in black wrap.

Yn covered her mouth in shock. “Unnie what is this?” Yn asked still shocked.

“Open it and figure out” Hanni said plastered with a smile.

Yn didn’t waste time and unwrapped the gift and she gave an excited squeal.

“So? Do you like it?” Hanni asked since the maknae was speechless for a while.

“Unnieee of course I like it you bought me a Mitski album and tickets to her concert!” Yn said as she was slowly getting emotional.

Hanni chuckled cleaning the tears that had already started to roll down. “I got it for both me and you” Hanni told yn who laughed.

— Clip 5✰

After Mitski’s concert Backstage where she was singing and interacting with fans.

When it finally got to Yn’s turns she squealed excitedly giving Mitski her album to sign.

“I’m a really huge fan” Yn said in English.

Mitski looked up to yn.

“Oh aren’t you a member of newjeans? Yn right the youngest member?” Mitski asked and Yn’s eyes got brighter as her idol knew her name.

“Yes I’m yn from newjeans” yn responded in English.

“I’m actually a fan of your music my favorite is Ditto” Mitski told yn who got more excited because that was one of the songs she took part in writing.

“Ah really! That’s awesome” Yn said still amazed.

Mitski smiled at yn. “Maybe you’ll give me your number later and we can hang out some other time?” Mitski suggested and how could Yn say no to a once in a lifetime offer. She nodded rapidly.

Mitski chuckled at her cuteness.

✰𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒

[felixsmeshglove]

of nighttime’s and neon - han jisung x reader

writers note ; so, this is my first official smut fic that i’m releasing so any and all feedback is welcome but please be gentle. i don’t typically write for non-sub!reader but this is something i want to get better on, so this will be entirely new to me, remember this plot is entirely a work of fiction and the accuracy of how the idol life functions may not be 100%, jisung is just fucking whipped for reader, i will note i did kinda skimp on the inter-band interactions, mostly just because i didn’t quite know how to incorporate it? plus, as i’ve mentioned on my page my knowledge about k-pop is exclusively skz, i don’t know any of the other of the bands well enough to incorporate them properly so i kinda just glossed over it? sorry if that was something you were really looking forward to.

themes ; smut, fluff, angst if you squint, friends to lovers

pairing ; han jisung x reader

wc ; 3.7k

content warning ; minors dni 18+ only! alcohol consumption, cursing, afab reader, unprotected sex (wear a condom folks!) feminine nicknames used for reader (mommy, goddess), needy jisung, reader could be plus size if you squint, switch!jisung (mostly sub), dubcon if you squint, jisung is kind of a nasty perv dw he just is obsessed with you, mommy kink, riding, edging, cum eating, oral sex (afab receiving), face sitting

misc ; (h/c) is hair color

jisung was the first to awake from his sleep, whining softly as rubbed his face. a dull ache pounds under his temples, reminding jisung of his actions from the night before. as he sits up, through bleary eyes he begins to recognize… he isn’t in his room. further yet, he isn’t even in his dorm.

as the covers fall from his chest, he shivers, noticing the distinct lack of clothing he had from the waist-up.

wary eyes scan his surroundings from right to left, and just as he’s putting the pieces together he sees you. (h/c) locks tumbled rebelliously around your face as you were curled snuggly into the sheets. jisung’s heart sinks, running a hand through his hair as his mind starts to spiral.

‘fuck, fuck, fuck! did we really just fuck last night? shit- we were so drunk i-‘ jisung thinks to himself as he begins to panic, his breathing beginning to roughen in response.

deep from slumber, you begin to awake as you feel the sensation of your bed beginning to rock. you groan softly, opening your eyes to try to fend off the disturbance only to remember a familiar faded-lavender haired man in your bed.

jisung was shifting around in the bed, trying to find his phone to see if there was any evidence left of what the two had done the night before, thinking the absolute worst.

“jisungie?” you speak up softly, your voice crackling from sleep.

memories seem to flood back from the night you had before as you start to sit up yourself

jisung had invited you out to the club, in celebration of their latest album release. jisung and the rest had been working tirelessly for the release and it was about time that they got a break. you found the night to be a blur of meeting many other idols that the alcohol made it difficult to remember just who and how many you’d met.

regardless, you happily followed jisung around, eagerly encouraging him to enjoy himself and celebrate. after all, you loved to see your favorite quokka so happy.

right now, however, you had decided to sit out this song with legs crossed as you sat atop the bar stool. you were sipping on some fancy cocktail that was way too expensive yet jisung insisted you get whatever you want. jisung always loved to spoil you, he cared so much about you and even if he still couldn’t push himself to confess he wanted to make it certain you were always taken care of.

the drink tasted of lemon, gin and herbal tea, advertised as some special type of tea. it was a periwinkle-purple beverage, almost like the color of jisung’s dusty lavender hair. maybe brighter? you couldn’t tell with the dim club lights.

regardless, you always admired just how pretty jisung always was. it didn’t matter what the producers wanted him to wear or change, he looked good in it.

now, your attention was being drawn back to the present by jisung who had stumbled his way back to you through the crowd with a sweet giggle.

“why aren’t you dancing jagi? are you not having fun?” jisung drunkenly cooed at you as he slipped an arm around your waist. you leaned into him slightly, resting a head on his shoulder as you giggled.

“just needed a rest, quokka, my feet were starting to hurt,” you reply with a sweet smile, taking another sip of your colored drink, “you worry too much, ji.”

jisung rolled his eyes and set down the bottle he had in his freehand, standing in front of you to wrap his hands around your waist once more.

“come on jagi will you please dance with me? you can take off your heels i’ll hold them for you” jisung begs with a whine, puffing up his cheeks a little and pouting at you with that plump lower lip of his.

just as you open your mouth to protest, but before you can even get out a word jisung interrupts you.

“i haven’t gotten a chance to be alone with you all night, please?” jisung hiccuped in his drunken state, giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster.

how could you say no?

with one long, careful sip you finish your fun cocktail, before removing your heels and holding them up by the straps. you hardly even notice how jisung stares at you as you take that sip, sucking his lower lip between his teeth as he picks up his almost-forgotten bottle.

he takes the shoes from your hand as you hopped down from your bar stool, standing in front of him to dance in place with him. well, it was hard to call it a dance. at first, this ‘dance’ was nothing more than his arms wrapped around your waist with your hands tucked up into those dyed locks you loved so much.

slowly, however this dance evolved to you grinding against jisung with your heels and his drink long abandoned by your bar stool. it seemed almost as if the rest of the world didn’t even exist as all your drunken minds could focus on were the neon lights, the music, and each other.

there had always been a sort of tension between you and jisung, yet you both were far too oblivious to see it. but now, tension seemed to be all out the window as you swayed your hips, rocking them back towards jisung.

jisung’s gaze immediately snapped over to you, his cheeks flaring up with a bright red as the first thing he notices is the darkening cherry red and deep maroon hickey that seemed to be forming along your collarbone and neck. he seems to stress even more as he notices this, which causes you to furrow your brows.

“hannie what’s wrong?” you ask softly after clearing your throat. as you sat up, your form was mostly covered by your oversized pajama shirt. how you managed to change shorts with how drunk you remembered you were was a mystery, but regardless it provided you some modesty.

“what? what do you mean what’s wrong?! why are you so calm? y/n i’m so sorry- i hope you can forgive me,” jisung says with a strained voice that seemed to end in a whimper. tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as he looked down at you.

the look on jisung’s face was absolutely heartbreaking as he seemed truly devastated at what he’d thought he’d done to you. the poor man could barely bring himself to confess to you, so the thought that the two of you had done something together and neither of you were sober enough to be present for him made him feel so guilty.

“forgive you for what? i don’t underst- ohhh…” you begin to reply, before looking around and finally connecting the dots yourself.

“who taught you to dance like this babe? so dirty~” jisung giggled teasingly as he happily pulled your hips closer.

with your drunken mental state, all your inhibitions were out the window. as a result, you turn around and give him a mischievous little giggle, before tugging him down by the front of his windbreaker.

“you’re one to talk, sungie~ i swear some of the choreo you boys do should only be seen in a strip club~” you said back with a voice so low that he almost couldn’t make out what you had said over the loud club music.

almost.

jisung thanked the stars and everything he knew that with his drunkenness and the dim club lighting his furious blush was easily hidden or able to be lied about. the normally ever-so confident quokka man stopped dead in his tracks as he swallowed thickly.

it was as if he could hear his heartbeat right up in his ears as he tried to recover, stammering out, “it’s not my fault the choreographers plan what they pl-plan.. you should see what th-they do to channie-hyung.”

“honestly though, i swear sometimes its like he wants to act like a man-whore,” jisung continued, only to be cut off by you.

“oh shut up sungie,” you said sarcastically as you tugged him even closer with your grip on his windbreaker, crashing your lips into his.

after taking a moment to reboot and process exactly what was happening to him, jisung starts to slowly kiss back. it's a passionate, messy, needy kiss. a kiss full of pent up feelings and desperation, tongues quickly making their way to meet as you stood up on tip-toes to reach him.

when you finally pull away, he looks down at you, swaying slightly as he pants. his eyes are wide, pupils blown as the only thing that exists in his world and mind right now is just you.

“we leave now?” jisung breathlessly asks, sounding more like a plead as he looks at you desperately.

“yeah sungie, lets go.”

…

it wasn’t long before you found yourselves in the elevator of your apartment, curious and needy hands roaming all over each other as jisung nuzzles into your neck.

before you left, you’d offered to just take jisung back to your own flat to make sure he got somewhere safe. it took little convincing to get chan to agree with you, after he trusted you and it meant one less trashed hungover boy to deal with in the morning.

once you finally had made your way into your apartment unit, the two of you were out in your lounge with you tugging jisung on top of you, kissing at whatever exposed skin you could find on each other.

jisung slowly begins to nip at your neck in a bratty way, being impatient after waiting for so long to touch you. it was such a primal, deep need for him to be close to you, to feel your touch, to keep you as his and be yours

with heat beginning to pool in your core, you desperately try to tug him closer. by this point, all of the passionate, desperate kisses and touches the two fo you shared had begun to leave you absolutely dripping. you hook a leg around his hip, whining as you feverishly rock your hips into nothing.

a nasty, dreadful feeling starts to loom over jisung as he pulls back slightly, biting his lip with nervousness as he looked down at you.

“h-hold on jagi i- fuck. i want you i really do baby i j-just don’t wanna do this drunk. wan’ be here for it wh-when i fuck you.. wan’ remember it,” jisung said with a worried look, not wanting you to take his sudden halting as a rejection.

you look up at him sweetly and cup his face with a smile.

“of course ji, i understand. i can wait. you promise when we’re sober you’ll fuck me good like a good boy?”

jisung is already nodding dumbly before you even finish, an electric shudder running down his spine as he hears the words ‘good boy.’

you then wrap your arms around him in a soft hug, kissing his jawline slowly as you smiled.

“can we still keep kissing at least?” you ask softly, your hand tracing circles in his upper back gently.

“mhm of course jagi i love your kisses.. i don’t know why i didnt kiss you sooner..” jisung cooed back at you as you tugged him closer again, your lips locking once more.

“hannie its okay, we didn’t do anything..” you try to reassure him, having remembered more of the later parts of the night than he did, “look, my panties and fishnets are still on-“

you lift the sheets to show him. your fishnets had seen better days of course, but remained intact worn over your panties. you add “there’s no way we would have took these off and put them back on, and the crotch of them is still intact.”

jisung blushes darkly as he watches you, his brain swimming with a hundred complicated thoughts a second. he was torn between wanting to keel over from the fear he had just started to come down from and intensely turned on by the sight of your panties. he notes the darkened staining between your legs, likely from the night before.

“god jagi trying to give me a heart attack before i’m thirty-“ jisung says with exasperation as he runs his hand through his hair again as he lays back into the bed, rubbing his temples. with a few slow breaths, he begins to settle.

“so.. what are we going to do about this..” you finally ask after thinking for a few moments, trying to address the elephant in the room.

“this?” jisung asks with an arm thrown over his eyes as he tries to piece together the bits and pieces of the night they’d had together.

“well.. you’ve got hickeys.. i’ve got hickeys.. my panties are still sticky from last night.. we clearly wanted to do something last night,” you say, taking a pause before adding, “plus… i’ve liked you for a while, sungie.. and i think.. you might like me too, given the way you treated me and spoiled me last night..”

jisung tried to swallow, his mouth feeling dry at the raw statement. you weren’t wrong, this wasn’t something you guys could gloss over anymore.

“i uh.. aish.. guess i’m caught eh?” jisung finally said with an awkward crooked smile, his face flushed”

“i really do like you, baby, i have for a while.. you drive me so crazy i can barely even stand it baby- you have no idea what you do to me,” jisung adds as he bites his lip.

you reach forward slowly, cupping his soft cheek and thumbing against his cheekbone. your lips ghost over his own, leaving him to lean up and close the gap.

this kiss was slow and passionate, full of care and intention. his lips felt even better now that you had all your senses to focus on him. when he pulls away, looking up at you with unfocused eyes.

“so… can we continue where we left off..? p-please..?” jisung asked, barely above a whisper as he finally allowed himself to look you over again. with his discomfort now dissipated, arousal begins to take over as he feels his cock begin to twitch in his boxers.

“well, you did promise me you would after all, baby,” you said sweetly to jisung, climbing up onto his lap and situating his now rock-hard erection right up against your hot, damp panties. he winced at the sensation, his cock so sensitive that he could feel each individual layer between the two of you.

with a slow, languid rock of your hips jisung lets out a high pitched, desperate whine. you both stare at each other, almost as if you both hadn’t been expecting the sound. in response, you repeat the action, leaving jisung melting completely under you.

“shit- jagiya… f-feels so good..” jisung mumbled as he covered his mouth with his hand.

“what do you want to do jisungie? you have to tell me what you want..~” you cooed teasingly at him, leaning forward to cup his flushed face as you smiled at him lovingly.

“r-ride me please.. pl-please.. y/n i need your pussy so bad..” jisung pleads with you, hands running up your plush thighs quickly and fiddling with the threads of the fishnets.

“ah-ah-ah~ no touching hannie… gotta keep your hands to yourself if you want me to do that,” you tisked him waiting until his hands fell beside each of his hips and looking up at you. only now do you lean down to help tug at the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down with relative ease.

jisung’s cock sprung up for action, the tip a fiery-hot red and leaking precum as he just breathed heavily, feeling almost dizzy with arousal. you licked your lips at the sight, giggling slightly at jisung as you start to work your fishnets and panties off.

just as you’re settling yourself back into his lap, he speaks up again, so soft you nearly didn’t hear. “t-take the shirt off t-too? i wanna see all of you…”

you blush slightly, biting your lip as you pull at the hem of the oversized pajama shirt you’d been wearing. jisung notices your hesitation and speaks up a little louder now.

“please baby? you’re a goddess… so perfect… i just wanna see.. i promise.. i won’t touch… j-just like you asked.”

with the reassurance, you lift the shirt over your head, taking a deep breath. as you refocus your attention to jisung, he’s staring your body all over, not seeming to focus on one place in particular.

he just found every single inch of you absolutely stunning. he meant it. you really were a goddess. finally, his gaze focuses on your drooling cunt. he licks his lips slightly in anticipation, clearly holding himself back from just tugging you fully into his lap and onto his length.

you took your time settling into his lap and rubbing the tip of his cock through your hot folds, allowing your slick and his precum to mix and gather on his dick. with a deep breath, you position yourself above his hard cock, slowly sinking down until he’d bottomed out.

jisung lets out a strangled sounding moan as he grips the sheets tighter, fighting every urge to reach up and grab your thighs. “h-holy shit- ahhhh~”

after sitting for a few moments, you begin to move at a slow pace, your tight pussy massaging his length with every upward motion you made then tightening down with every downward motion. you let out a few small huffs, steadying yourself against his shoulders as you finally get up to a steady rhythm.

all that can be heard in your bedroom now is the soft squelching of your soaking cunt sinking down onto his cock, the soft huffs and whines shared between the two of you and the subtle creak of the bed frame.

his dick seemed to curve perfectly into your clenching pussy, hitting every exact spot that made you absolutely see stars. it seemed like every passing moment the both of you feel deeper into your hyperfixation on each other. minds hot and dizzy, only able to focus on the intense and pleasurable sensations of their actions.

“can i please touch jagi..? please..? i wanna feel you” jisung croaked out, almost trembling beneath you as he started to rock up into you, trying to speed up your pace.

“so impatient baby boy… not yet.. keep up the thrusting though,” you panted out to him, leaning forward to rest your head on his forehead. now, you slip a hand down to rub lazy circles against your previously-neglected clit.

quickly, he leans up to capture your lips in a desperate kiss, trying to find any outlet for his energy that he could utilize other than his hands. he whines and whimpers against your lips as he feels completely overcome by the sensations of your gummy insides.

it didn’t take much longer before jisung felt himself begin to reach his snapping point, gasping and squirming underneath you as his grip on the sheets beside him left his knuckles white.

“j-jagi~ jagi i’m gonna cum- i’m gonna-“ he begins to say, before you cut him off.

“no. i’m not ready yet, baby.. you c-can cum when i cum baby..”

jisung cries out as he bites down hard on his lip, trying his best to hold back. his breath hitches in his throat as he strains against his own impending orgasm. as he does so, you feel the heat that had been pooling in the pit of your stomach beginning to intensify, the knot inside begging to tighten.

“y/n.. j-jagi.. i- fuck! m-mommy.. mo-mommy please…” he says, almost in a sob as he his hips thrash up hard against yours.

something about him calling you mommy sets a fire alight inside you. you almost groan out softly, feeling your own climax beginning to creep up on you.

“keep begging like that baby, keep begging for me.. i’m so close.. god you’re so filthy..” you breathe out as your head lolls back.

“please m-mommy i need to cum so bad.. please.. i need it… i need.. a-ahh…” jisung whimpers in his fucked-out state, unable to even formulate a proper sentence.

with that, the knot inside you snapped, your orgasm washing over you with intensity. you moaned out as your throbbing pussy clenched around his length, which finally caused him to bust. his hot cum shot up deep inside you, leaving you shuddering at the sensation as you collapsed against his chest with exhaustion.

a few moments later, you reached up and tiredly cupped his face again, looking up at him. “so good for me, baby… thank you sungie..” you said sweetly to him..

jisung panted softly as he tried to recover from the dizzying orgasm that you’d just given him, his thighs trembling from the feeling. when you sat up to look at him, he finally caught a good look of your pussy which was now left dripping and creamy with your mixed fluids.

“please can you sit on my face..?” jisung asked softly, squirming in sensitivity as he felt you adjust on top of him.

“what?” you ask softly, surprised at his request.

“mommy please.. your pussy looks s’ good.. wan’ clean you up.. wan’ make you feel good.. please.. please..” jisung looked up at you with tearful eyes, hands curled into the sheets by his sides as he panted beneath you.

“i suppose you do deserve a treat, don’t you hannie..” you answered his pleas lovingly.

you pulled up off of him slowly, shuddering at the sensation as your combined fluids begin to leak down your thighs with a creamy sheen. jisung had been such a good boy for you, listening so good. you couldn’t help but reward him with what he was exactly asking for.

“you can touch now baby… its okay..” you say softly through your own pants, crawling over him to situate your puffy, swollen cunt above him. in response, he quickly grips his hands to the backs of your thighs, just under your ass and pulling you down as close as he could.

you lurched forward harshly as you felt his warm tongue provide an eager and broad lick to your dripping, cum filled cunt, his hands tugging you down ever closer to his face. you swore this man was going to be the death of you…

[chloessleepystories]

Sisters part 1

mind control, subliminals, female/female, male/female, female domination, incest

Don’t wanna be

Thinking

Thinking

Thinking

Kenzie loved this song! She couldn’t stop listening to it ... It was running through her head all through class, but she still couldn’t get enough. Five minutes passing period? In went the earbuds! Walking through the halls to that pounding, entrancing beat ...

Don’t wanna be

Thinking

Thinking

Think—

So fun to be

Giggly

Giggly

Gigg—

Don’t wanna be

Thinking

Thinking

Think—

So fun to be

Giggly

Giggly...

Her toe was tapping all through Pre-Calc. Her lips were moving, too. Occasionally she almost thought there were words, but ... No. Just a great beat. Nothing she needed to think about. Just to keep listening to ... and enjoy.

Off to lunch! And the beat caught her again.

Don’t wanna be

Thinking

Thinking

Think—

So fun to be

Giggly

Giggly

Giggly...

With her earbuds back in, she smiled at everyone passing. Kenzie was in a great mood today! There was an extra sparkle in the air, and she wanted to smile at everyone. And they were smiling back! What a new and wonderful experience!!

She giggled to herself. “I forgot how much fun smiling was!! Hee hee!!”

Don’t wanna be

Thinking

Thinking

Think—

Normally, Kenzie was a serious and studious girl. It’s not that she didn’t like to have fun, but she thought a lot about her future. She would graduate near the top of her class, get into a great college, start off on a fulfilling and socially responsible career that also made her financially independent and then ... then she could have fun. Simple.

It’s fun to be

Simple

Simple

Simple ...

But today she was ... Well, today she was just in a good mood. That’s all.

Don’t wanna be

Brainy

Brainy

Brainy ...

It feels good to

Obey

Obey

Obey ...

“Honey?”

Home now, at her desk, and Kenzie had switched to her home headphones—the big ones that shut out all external sound and let her enjoy every nuance.

“Honey?” Her mom touched her arm, and Kenzie ... woke up. She blinked, paused the music, took off her headphones ... languorously, like she was stretching after a nap. “Yeah, mom?”

“You know I don’t like you listening to music while you’re doing your homework.”

“I do it all the time, mom. And it helps. We’ve talked about this.”

“Yes, well ... I’m not so sure about that this time. You were kind of just sitting there. I think you’ve been looking at the same page for the last half hour... New album? You seem obsessed with it the last few days. It’s like the Hamilton thing all over again.”

“Actually, it’s just one song...” she said sheepishly. “But it’s amazing—it’s like I hear something new every time I listen to it!”

“I see. And you’re going to have to listen to it until you learn all the words, like you did with that Guns and Ships?”

“I don’t think there’s any words to it Mom.”

“No? Sounded like you were singing along to something...”

Kenzie blinked. Was she? There was a faint memory...

You wanna be

Sexy

Sexy

Sexy

She giggled. “No Mom. Just humming.”

“Well, take the headphones off for now, anyway. It must be distracting you, you’re not getting anything done. Dinner’s in half an hour.”

Kenzie put the headphones next to her on the desk. But within minutes her hand crept over to them and picked them up again, almost without her being aware of it. They hugged her ears and she slipped back into her light trance, her eyes closing and her vapid smile growing...

You’re gonna be

Dumber

Dumber

Dumb—

Cuz dumber is

Funner

Funner

Fun...

“Kenzie! Dinnertime, let’s go!”

Wow, where did the time go? She felt ... spacey. And she was ... sitting on the floor, against the wall? When did that happen? She stood up slowly, feeling dizzy. But in a good way. She giggled. Everything seemed sparkly and happy. She hadn’t done a thing with her project, but it didn’t seem important right now. And she felt warm ... like some of the happy sparkles were inside her body.

She giggled again. She was aroused!! Parts of her felt very sparkly indeed! Hee hee!

“Kenzie!! Call your sister and come set the table!”

Chloe! She hadn’t talked to her older sister all afternoon. But she MUST go find her! She must thank her!!

You love to be

Bubbly

Bubbly

Bubbly

She hurried down the hall.

And listen to

Chloe

Chloe

Chloe

“Omigosh omigosh!! Like, thank you for the music!! I love it!!”

Her sister, two years older, smiled... And if there was something wicked in the smile, something predatory, Kenzie was too bubbly to notice. “Oh, I’m so glad. I hoped you’d like it. In fact, if you like that one, I’ve got some other songs I think you’ll love ...”

“Really?? Oh yes please!!”

“And if I can give you my advice ...” Chloe leaned forward.

“Uh huh??”

“I think you should listen to these songs on your headphones while you sleep.” She moved even closer, whispering. “Aaaaalllll night....”

Her breath was hot on Kenzie’s ear, and she shivered a little. It felt so good to obey. Especially to obey her sister.

“That’s a great idea!!”

Chloe smiled. Grinned, really. Like a shark. Or the Grinch.

“Gooood...”

*****

The saga begins!!

Hey remember when we all used iPods? *giggle*

[rinsoap]

˚ ༘ ♡⋆｡˚ ﾐ the big inarizaki three's favourite artists!

✿²˖ ࣪ ➣ includes : suna rintaro, osamu miya + atsumu miya

note : THIS HAS BEEN IN MY BRAIN SINCE DAY ONEEE SUNA, OSAMU, IWAIZUMI, MATTSUN, KYOTANI AND SEMI R ALL TYLER STANS LITERZLLY FIGHT ME!!!!

suna rintaro :

!!? ok this man has 100% turned every single one of his friends onto tyler the creator. he likes to say he “discovered” him as if he didn’t have like 300 million streams at the time ?? and tbh he didn’t even discover him iwaizumi put him on 😭😭 but he’s a little liar so 🙅🏼‍♀️ but at least he has good music taste!!!!

his favourite songs by tyler the creator are :

- ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? on the IGOR album.

- FUCKING YOUNG / PERFECT on the cherry bomb album.

- WILSHIRE on the CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST album.

!!? he will NEVER admit it but he LOVES red velvet 😭😭 he is a kpop stan till he dies and he is RIDDEN with guilt. osamu will be making fun of koreaboos (as he should) and suna will be slowly shrinking into his shirt as he starts yelling about how dumb kpop is. he truly would rather die than admit he knows every single lyric to sunny side up!

his favourite songs by red velvet are :

- BYE BYE on the reve festival 2022 birthday EP.

- russian roulette on the russian roulette: third mini album.

- BAMBOLEO on the reve festival 2022 feel the rhythm EP.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : give you the world by steve lacy. 505 by arctic monkeys. IMPURITIES by le sserafim. yes i’m changing by tame impala.

osamu miya :

!!? he is obsessed with cigarettes after sex! it is truly insane how it is one of the only bands that genuinely makes him cry. like he will be listening to K. with atsumu in the car and atsumu would be groaning like “dude stop with this sad shit its killing the vibe” as a single tear rolls down osamu’s cheek 😭

his favourite songs by cigarettes after sex are :

- john wayne on the cigarettes after sex album.

- affection (single).

- heavenly on the cry album.

!!? OK MAYBEE THIS IS AN UNPOPULAR OPINON but this man is 100% a shameful swiftie. he doesn't know why but he literally will not tell anybody he loves taylor swift like it is his guilty pleasure and for what ???? he loved her in her red era too, he is LOYAL he's been a fan since 2012 dude !!!!

his favourite songs by taylor swift are :

- the very first night [from the vault] on the red (taylor's version) album.

- august from the folklore album.

- i think he knows on the lover album.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : lovers rock by tv girl. pretty boy by the neighbourhood. apple cider by beabadoobee. SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK by joji.

atsumu miya :

!!? his favourite is chase atlantic because he's a fucking prick LMAO he is a chase atlantic MENACE he plays it everywhere any occasion and frequently LIES ab it??? he'll be like "i'm kind of a fan on the dl you know not that big of a deal haha the music is good but its whatever" and then squeal everytime he sees a tiktok of a concert 😭

his favourite songs by chase atlantic are :

- drugs & money (new mix) on the chase atlantic album.

- HEAVEN AND BACK on the PHASES album.

- goosebumps chase atlantic remix (unreleased)

!!? he will never tell anyone how badly he fucks with olivia rodrigo like he is convinced she wrote SOUR for HIM. he will lock himself in his room, walk to the corner of his room before sliding down the wall in absolute shambles as he screams all of the lyrics blasting through his poor headphones. osamu literally hates olivia for this exact reason he cannot listen to her anymore.

his favourite songs by olivia rodrigo are :

deja vu on the SOUR album.

all i want on the high school musical: the musical: the series soundtrack.

happier on the SOUR album.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : borderline by tame impala. beef flomix by flo milli. heartless by the weeknd. want u back by cher lloyd.

[thefrontofmymind]

ex!reader x matty healy ig blurb

FC: Heather Baron-Gracie

a/n: added on blurb

~~~

rass1975 via instagram stories:

yninstagram via instagram stories:

~~~

yninstagram we look kewl

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ynfan1 OMG YN AND MATTYYYYY

ynfriend sexy beasts xxx

>trumanblack thanks xxx

ynfan2 the goth council has come together to decide all our fates

bedforddanes pale bitches x

>yninstagram ill fuck u up

trumanblack im cool. yn did my makeup, its cool.

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1975fan1 i am frothing at the mouth rn

yninstagram fit

1975fan2 i so wish i was at this party it looks so cool

rass1975 Yeah yeah. You look cool get over it

yninstagram shut up i'm busy

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ynfan1 so prettyyyyy

ynfan2 I LOVE THIS

trumanblack fit

>yninstagram didn’t i just fucking tell you to shut up?

1975ynfan1 ok loving this tension,,,,

1975ynfan2 wait is that matty’s guitar???

>1975fan1 OMG I THINK YOURE RIGHT

nme Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Dirty Hit Records ushers in a new era, with the addition of YN on their roster. This news comes after apparent months of negotiation (and close friend of Matty Healy on her side!) New interview in our next issue!

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1975ynfan1 this has totally convinced me that theyre together why tf would they do a whole photoshoot together if they weren’t

ynfan1 am i the only one who doesn’t like the way they worded this? Like she’s such a good artist, the fact that she’s friends with Matty doesn’t mean anything! She got that record deal on her own merit

1975ynfan2 omg they both look so hot in this

1975fan1 goth parents

yninstagram throwback to when we were allowed outside

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ynfan1 where are you quarantining queen???

>yninstagram with a close friend babyyyy

ynfan2 so sad you had to postpone the tour :((( i was going to toronto

ynfan3 will the new album be postponed too??

>yninstagram hopefully not. Still set for later on in the year ❤️❤️

ynundates yn today performing at Reading Festival!!!

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ynfan1 ok so we haven’t seen her in TWO YEARS and she’s back and a platinum blonde????

ynfan2 newalbumsoonnewalbumsoonnewalbumsoon

>ynfan3 ikr SO PUMPED

ynfan4 did anyone catch a video of when she said something like ‘im in a different place now than when i wrote all these love songs’ and then i didnt hear the end of what she said???

>ynupdates its on our page! The full quote is “I’m in a very different place than when I wrote all of those love songs. Me and him aren’t together now so…Expect a breakup album soon!”

>ynfan5 omg poor yn :(( (though i wonder who she’s talking aboutttt)

yninstagram officially here to tell you that blondes don’t always have more fun. and i’m on tour in North America in three months get ready.

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ynfan1 AAHHH SEEING YOU IN NEW YORK

>yninstagram SEE U THERE BB

ynfan2 PLEASE come to asia!!

ynfan3 when is the album???

>yninstagram beginning of next year!!

ynfan4 yn looks so pretty with black OR blonde hair!!

yninstagram first show lets go

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ynfan1 the COOLEST fit

bedforddanes good luck mate.

>yninstagram thanks mate.

ynfan2 cant wait to see you in Milwaukee!!

1975ynfan1 does anyone else think its weird that yn and the 1975’s tours match up cities like 4 times???

>1975ynfan2 probably just a coincidence, there’s only so many cities in america

>1975ynfan1 idk its just yn and matty havent interacted in so long and it seems like theyve both gone through private breakups recently,,,,got me thinking

>ynfan3 maybe not the best to speculate on people’s private lives?? Lets just leave them to it?

yninstagram new single out now. Not Another Rockstar. its cool.

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ynfan1 omg wait the caption??? Is that a matty reference???

>ynfan2 idkkkk IM HERE FOR THE DRAMAAA

ynfan3 yn is straight up ethereal

charli_xcx so proud of youuuuu

>yninstagram Xxx

yninstagram london r u ready??

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ynfan1 so jealous im not there!!!

ynfan2 obsessed with this makeup!!

pollymoney looking lush!!

ynfan3 come to nz!

rollingstone “Growing into different people can hurt, but it’s always the way of life, we just have to move on” - YN talks touring post-covid and new album! Link in bio!

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yninstagram thank you for having me.

ynfan1 need to punch whoever she was talking about with the quote in the article ‘I was badly hurt by my ex, he’s said some horrid things about me when I thought our breakup was pretty amicable.’

ynfan2 i remember when yn was just starting out and now look at her!!

ynfan3 mother was mothering in this shoot

yninstagram what happens on tour, stays on tour. this includes going to bed at a reasonable hour and being on vocal rest for 20 hours of the day.

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ynfan1 saw you in Lisbon!! Best concert ive ever been to!!

ynfan2 omg obsessed with that top…

1975adam the joys of tour life hey?

>yninstagram dont i know it?

yninstagram new album, Nothing Matters, is out tomorrow. this is such a personal album for me, showing the deepest parts of myself. 

To you (you know)

Even though we spent months tearing each other apart, and we’ve both said some questionable things in retaliation, you know I’ll always hold you in my heart. I was at my best with you and I hope one day we can reach a point when we can be friends. I miss you and all the funny things you tell me when you stoned off your nut and barely knew how to speak anymore. 

Thank you, darling. For everything.

limited comments

charli_xcx beautiful album baby. top of 2023!

ynfriend love it!!

rass1975 well done mate. Its a good’un

trumanblack love it.

>yninstagram x

[popbloganddropit]

The Tortured Poets Department - Taylor Swift (Part 2)

9. Guilty as Sin? - you cheeky little minx, Taylor!!! I’m not sure she’s made me blush like this before! A song about…fantasizing outside of your relationship that sounds like the first day warm sun hits your skin after a long, cold winter. And I personally love a song with some good old fashioned yearning, so the bridge really takes it over the top for me. 5/5

Best Line: I really love a lot of lines here, but if “Drowning in the Blue Nile, he sent me ‘Downtown Lights’” is such a killer opener.

10. Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?- this song is an insane, showstopping moment. Edgy, raging, biting, and even still a little witty - “So tell me everything is not about me. But what if it is?” WAOLOM strikes such a good balance of being self-aware of her image and faults with genuine anger. Being the biggest pop star doesn’t make everything just roll off your back. Perfect production that builds and escalates exactly as it needs to. 5/5

Best Line: “I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean. ‘Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth’”

11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) - I really like the pseudo-western vibe going on and that lower register is always welcome in my books, but lyrically this doesn’t do a lot for me. It’s building to a punchline we all know is coming. She can’t fix him, shocking, and there’s not enough for me to root for the protagonist being delusional. Ending with just, “Whoa, maybe I can’t” is funny, but it’s not satisfying. If a common complaint is that this album is too long, this song doesn’t feel essential, story-wise. 2.5/5

Best Line: I said all of that, but I do really like the second verse, the best part being, “His hand so calloused from his pistol/Softly traces hearts on my face”.

12. loml- I had a really hard time picking a best line for this song. I almost made a list but decided that would be a little obnoxious. There’s references to her other work expertly weaved in to really great wordplay and metaphors and imagery. The development of the story in the three times you hear the chorus is stunningly good. It’s a pretty simple piano in the background with additional vocal layers right where they are needed for emphasis. There’s something a little bit missing from this song for me to give it a full 5, but I can’t quite put my finger on it and I also think loml really is a grower that’s not meant to be gobbled down in one bite. There’s a lot of lyrical details to be noticed and anything additional might take away from that. I vote this song most likely to be my favorite in 6 months that I don’t understand how it took so long to fully click. 4.5/5

Best Line: I had to do two, from the very beginning and end, that echo each other so it’s kind of like I only picked one then, right??? “Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames if we know the steps anyway?” —-> “Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire. Your arson's match your somber eyes” Kill me (complimentary). The never before, never since turning into never before and ever since is also brilliant.

13. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - This song is great. There’s a long history of Miss Swift making bops tinged with depression and anxiety and this may be her most unhinged version yet. A celebration of putting on a brave face when you’re going through some shit. Chanted like a mantra she tells herself, we get a peek behind the curtain of reaching glittering professional peaks not seen in this generation while her personal life was crashing. But no one can ever say Taylor Swift is not a professional - I love the delivery on the outro where she laughs off being miserable and ends with a little spoken zinger. Try and come for her job, indeed. 5/5

Best Line: “I’m so depressed, I act like it’s my birthday everyday. I’m so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague,” tickles me so. This her comedy album. Inevitably going to go viral on Tik Tok at some point.

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - An absolutely killer bridge. It builds the drama up until the very end. Unfortunately, the verses could use a little stronger melody, the first half of the song is a little forgettable and feels a little clunky. 3/5

Best Line: “You kicked out the stage lights, but you’re still performing” is a close runner up but had to go with the opening of the bridge. “Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?” is such a perfect escalation and so descriptive of a feeling without saying any feeling words.

15. The Alchemy- I really enjoy some parts of this song but I unfortunately have the desire to hire someone to dub over every single football reference so I can fully get into it. It’s too much, it’s too on the nose. I like the verses, I love the way she says, “I haven’t come around in so long,” and I think “who are we to fight the alchemy?” is a great line. There are just parts that feel like football Mad Libs in a way that makes this song pretty unlistenable to me. 1/5

Best Line: “This happens once every few lifetimes. These chemicals hit me like white wine”

16. Clara Bow - She’s known for writing about relationships and that has let the fact that songs about her relationship with fame are consistently top tier (despite being unrelatable to almost anyone since she is the most famous person on the planet) slip by mostly unnoticed. One of my favorite Taylor tricks is when she alters the lines a bit each go-round and/or flips the script in some way in the final chorus and this song is really an excellent combination of some of the best Taylor moves. I’m not going to pretend have known who Clara Bow was before this record, but it works and I don’t mind an album that makes me do a little Googling to understand some things. The Stevie Nicks reference is perfection. Saying her own name in a song really snaps you to attention. And I think this is a perfect album closer. She’s reckoning just as much with her own desire for notoriety and the consequences that go along with it as she is with former lovers, if you’re listening. 5/5

Best Line: “Crowd goes wild at her fingertip. Half moonshine, a full eclipse.” I’m not even sure I should include the first part. “Half moonshine, full eclipse” is one of my favorite things she’s ever written. (Side note as this is the most appropriate place to put it: the fucking personal poem from Stevie in the liner notes??? Stevie being a loud YOYO,K stan??? I weep at the coolness. Which is the opposite of cool and continuing to comment on it is even worse, sorry!)

Part 3 on the way!!!

[bloomingstay]

favorite kpop group tag~ thank you @binniesbang!

who is your favorite kpop group?

stray kids, if that was any surprise

which member sparked your interest first?

hyunjin! i've almost always been pulled in by the dancer (lee know i know but) specifically the style of dance hyunjin excels in. the isolation is so satisfying and cool. for some reason choreo always gets a song stuck in my head??

But also!! I had heard they produced their own music and that really got me interested in kpop again

who was your first bias?

chris bang 🤍 went from zero to ult within no more than two days tbh…

what makes them your current bias?

oh god. um. i'll put this in the least embarrassing way possible. (this is a kpop tumblr blog I should probably get over it)

it was a particularly bad year. i stumbled upon their silly videos (thank you stay for the edits<3) and they made me laugh. then i started seeing clips of chans room and him interacting with the boys and just like... he's so wonderful. he's generous and kind and loving and thoughtful. just a shy lil guy who also happens to be a flirt and a fucking dork and it's cute man idk shut upp

who is your bias wrecker?

i was certain i'd never have one, i truly adore each of those boys so so much.

i was however proven wrong after a very sweet, silly compilation of binnie being ridiculous. followed by a face cam of his sclass performance in the supreme jersey?? and the curls?? he has such amazing stage presence and he's a great dancer. but he kept going from his cute sweet binnie expressions looking like he was just so into it and having fun, to the "dark rapper" eyes and commanding stage presence. and like, wow. 🖤 i am a sucker for that kind of duality.

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/wrecker?

in another reality han is my wrecker. that boy is the epitome of what i used to look for in guys: babygirl. lol. well, and insanely talented and funny and everything. I adore him

after befriending a couple seungmin stans, i started looking for pics and clips to send them and found myself so incredibly impressed with him and touched by some of the things he's said and done. plus he’s a funny little shit.

hwang hyunjin is such a sweet boy. since we got producer jinnie on the last album i have been looking back and just so impressed with his growth 🤍

when did you first discover the group?

(Upon editing I realize I read this as ‘how’ but oh well)

okokok so

i was a kpop fan 2014-2017 and went all in. kcon and concerts the whole thing

but then i was just on my usual 6 hour yt shorts binge as i tried to fall asleep and saw skz reacting to the "your eyes" mv, specifically felix's part, obviously. i watched it like 12 times just cry laughing at han screaming, hyunjin trying to escape, channie hiding behind his hands and squealing. it was just so funny to see a group kind of clowning their own shit? i thought they were hilarious.

then i saw julien (solomita) had reacted to 'topline' and i was soooo into it. immediately went to watch some mvs and decided cool i'll be a totally normal casual fan of this group’s music….. :)

THEN a lovely lady i'd followed on my 10 year old tumblr account posted about skz. i messaged her that I’d finally decided to check them out and she was kind enough to answer questions and entertain my onslaught of messages as I screamed about how much I love these boys. and she still does everyday so. thank you hana 🌸

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

not yet~

what are some of your favorite songs by them?

THIS SECTION TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. disclaimer: I absolutely could not include non ot8 this would’ve been 30 songs (I’m probably going to cheat)

Hall of fame. bitch ever since that live stage (which was the first time I’d heard it) I’ve listened to the sclass album 3 times a week no joke, goddamn it’s so good. so just know, i pulled almost every song from that album off this list when i made cuts

levanter. a hard pill to swallow mid relationship struggles and holds a lot of meaning for me.

secret secret. i can't get over how professional this song sounds and how it was just a few years in?

leave. where i got my username~ like I said, relationship stuff. You have not yet really bloomed When the new season comes I hope the warmth will make you bloom Into a flower that never dies

sclass. *bling bling* HIPHOPSTEP. such a fucking chaotic mess of a jam.

megaverse. the breakdown? MEGAPHONE. Han, bitch? We make the rules nobody can hold me yeaaahhh. Your body shakes - STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. Sorry, flawless.

gods menu. ate, bitch. chan was something the fuck else

domino. neeed I say more

social path is bomb

grow up. read lyrics for the first time just now ow

eternity. told u I’d cheat.

love poem. big cheat my list worth it

I am going to be so mad when I realize I missed a song I listen to 7 times a day but been doin this for 2 hours so I’m calling it. Also forgive me I’m still working through the discography (backwards) and haven’t listened to the full first couple albums.

the adhd is allowing no further focus or thought so i will be tagging the same friends as my last tag post no pressure <3

@channieblossoms @skzms @roseykat @thefantasyden @seungsungracha @astraysis @channieswife

Thank you again @binniesbang for tagging me~!

[paradoxxinvader]

DITTO - do you want somebody? like i want somebody?

PROLOGUE - THE DEBUT

pairing :: riki x fem!idol!reader

synopsis :: yn, the leader of girl group trio ATTRACTION, has a major crush on ENHYPEN’s maknae, nishimura riki, since before her debut in 2022. she related to him, confided in his photocards, and befriended the idea of him, so much so that she fell in love with someone who barely knew of her. when she debuts under the same label as him, HYBE, the tables start to turn when she starts to realize that who he is isn’t the same person she fell in love with, all while nishimura riki starts to fall for her. what could possibly go wrong?

word count :: ~3k

warnings :: this is super weird i’m sorry. very cringe, mention of food, mentions of obsession (?), the general stuff idk i haven’t proof-read this

previous  masterlist  next  

“ATTRACTION is up next, manager park,” a female staff member said. “5 minutes,”

“ok, got it,” manager park turned towards the trio of girls who were getting the final touches of their hair and makeup. “you girls ready?”

“yes, manager park,” the girls said in unison. after a moment or so, when the stylists gave them the go-ahead that they were ready to leave, they walked towards the wings where they were to stand until they were to stand on stage. sungie clutched yn’s hand and gave it a firm squeeze, and the girls wrapped their arms around one another’s shoulders before starting their chant.

“i’m hot, you’re hot, we’re all hot, because this is ATTRACTION!” they shouted in unison, squeezing each other in a group hug.

they scurried onto the stage, bowing lightly to greet their sunbaes, before arranging themselves behind them. recording started not even a minute later.

“today we have some very special guests,” mc sunghoon starts.

“a girl group that debuted just today,” mc wonyoung continued.

“please welcome ATTRACTION!” both bank presidents exclaimed, sliding to the side, putting the girls front and center.

“anneyoung, lovelies! we are ATTRACTION,” the the trio exclaimed, bowing down before making finger hearts. 

“since it’s your first time on the show, please introduce yourself!” mc wonyoung said, smiling. the girls smiled wide, letting yn take the lead.

“anneyoung, lovelies! i’m leader yn, nice to meet you!” yn exclaimed, stepping forward a bit, bowing her head a little before throwing a kiss at the camera.

“hellooooo, i’m maknae sungie! i’m so excited to be on music bank!” sungie exclaimed, before making a confused expression, searching for something in the pocket of her brown school-skirt, before flashing a finger heart and an exaggerated wink towards the camera. yn and pae-ri, who were used to her antics, stifled a giggle, whereas sunghoon and wonyoung laughed silently yet uncontrollably, slowly backing away from the camera frame.

“annyeonghaseyo! i’m pae-ri, the main dancer of ATTRACTION!” pae-ri said, doing a dance move on the spot, before laughing a little from embarrassment. the music bank mc’s clapped before returning back to their places.

“please tell us a little about you debut mini-album, PHOTOREALISTIC,” sunghoon directed. 

“of course! PHOTOREALISTIC consists of five songs, which are ditto, still don’t know my name, love dive, hollywood, and omg!.” yn exclaimed, pointing one of her right-hand fingers up whenever she stated a new song title. “sungie and i have our own songs on the album as well! i collaborated with american artist, labrinth, on still don’t know my name. we both wrote and sung the song, and he produced it! sungie co-wrote and sung omg!”

“we collaborated on two songs on the album, as well! as yn said, we have labrinth on still don’t know my name, and the black skirts on hollywood!” pae-ri added.

“waah, that’s so cool!” wonyoung sunbae exclaimed, clapping excitedly. “can we get a little teaser off of your title track?”

“yes! five, six, seven, eight, stay in the middle, like you a little, don't want no riddle, malhaejwo say it back, oh, say it ditto, achim-eun neomu meol-eo so say it ditto~” the girls sung the chorus to ditto, doing a little bit of the choreography at the same time. 

wonyoung sunbae and sunghoon sunbaenim clapped and cheered, and attempted to do some of the choreography as well, but ended up unsuccessfully. 

“gosh, that’s so good!” mc sunghoon exclaimed, smiling wide. “what is your favourite song off of the album?”

“hmm, i really like hollywood! it’s a really soft-ish song, and it was so, so much fun working with the black skirts, and i think it matches the overall vibe of the album really well!” sungie answered first, after lifting her hand up. the girls hummed in agreement.

“i really like love dive! i love the choreography and it’s a really fun song to sing and dance to, so i can’t wait until we perform it on stage!” pae-ri exclaimed, clapping her hands a little.

“i think i really like still don’t know my name. i wrote that song with labrinth literally in almost no time- the song basically wrote itself. he’s our producer’s friend, and he was in seoul for, like, two-ish weeks, and we somehow ended up writing the song together! it’s a really honest and raw song, about both of our experiences, so, yeah! i think that’s my favourite!” yn rambled, moving her hands a lot.

“please do tell what the meaning behind PHOTOREALISTIC is!” sunghoon oppa exclaimed, motioning the girls to talk. 

yn spoke up, given that she wrote most of the songs off the album. “it’s essentially a story about how someone paints a picture of a person that’s so realistic that it becomes real to them. essentially the picture becomes so photorealistic hehe-” she threw a wink at the camera. “-that when they meet the person they painted a picture of, all of their ideas are met with negativity and the entire picture they painted is ruined, and all of the feelings that were there aren’t there anymore,” she rushed out, trying to explain the entire concept to the mc’s.

“very cool! we and music bank wish you good luck with your debut!” wonyoung sunbae exclaimed.

“we will performing the lead song off of our album PHOTOREALISTIC, which is ditto, here as music bank, so stay tuned to watch it!” pae-ri exclaimed.

“now off to the stage!” sunghoon sunbaenim declared.

“...and CUT!” the director said, and, one by one, all five idols left the frame. once out of frame, the girls let out a breath of relief, laughing a little.

“jesus, i was so nervous i thought i was gonna pass out,” yn panted out, hands on knees and all, as if she was out of breath.

“nooooo yn you did amazing,” wonyoung said, before hugging her.

“thank you, unnie,” yn smiled. “you, too, sunghoon oppa,”

“good luck with your stage!” sunghoon said, patting sungie’s, pae-ri’s, and yn’s heads. “we’ll let you guys get ready,” wonyoung nodded.

“thank youuu,” pae-ri said, latching onto yn from the back. 

their sunbaes left the room the girls finally let themselves freak out, letting the fact that they’ve debuted finally sink in. they jumped in their place a little, before yn stopped them- “you’ll wrinkle your clothes and ruin your hair,” she scolded.

after ATTRACTION came ENHYPEN, with their comeback stage for MANIFESTO: DAY 1, their stage being paradoxxx invasion. yn’s eyes stayed on a certain maknae who has a passion for dancing. when he accidently looked her way- y’know, as one does-, she averted her eyes from him to someone else, like jungwon sunbae or sunoo oppa- yn and pae-ri were friends with them because of the amount of times they had run into one another in the dance studios and the HYBE cafeteria. they were close enough that they had exchanged numbers and private twitters. 

once ENHYPEN got off stage, the trio of girls praised the septet of boys for their performance and their comeback, and they congratulated the girls on their debut. 

riki’s eyes lingered on yn for a moment or two, but he was out of her vision, so she paid no heed to him, despite how much she wanted to.

HYBE and BELLE had a joint debut party for ATTRACTION, the night of their mini-album release. it was a small party, with the trio, the managers, and some other 4th gen idols and groups- yn could’ve sworn that she saw p1harmony and jeongin from stray kids on the guest list. 

the girls of ATTRACTION got ready together in their shared dorm- pae-ri was in charge of hair and makeup, sungie was in charge of wardrobe, and yn was handling the music as the dj. she connected her phone to a speaker and put one of her dance playlists on shuffle. they had decided on the theme of the party together- only the keywords of ‘whimsical’ and ‘dreamlike’ supplied on the invite. 

they all wore dresses that resembled the album cover- pae-ri wore a pale blue, sungie an off-white, and yn a sea-foam green. sungie was holding an eyeshadow palette and was delicately applying eyeshadow on pae-ri’s lids, humming omg! under her breath, while yn was working her locks through a hair curler. after letting out a small sound of satisfaction when finished and applied a light coat of hair spray and turned the straightener on for sungie. she then started to part pae-ri’s hair to braid it. 

after an hour or so of getting ready, the girls were all sitting in the room where the party was to be held, just about fifteen minutes before it was going to start. in the meanwhile, they all just took pictures of one another, posing in front of the large banner that spelt out ‘ATTRACTION’S PHOTOREALISTIC DEBUT PARTY !!!’ in large words, that was graffiti-fied with gold and silver paint markers, from yours truly. they also got manager park to take a picture of all three of them together, in various silly poses, just basking in enjoyment before everyone else came.

not even minutes later, soobin sunbaenim and jungwon oppa barged in with their respective groups, popping blue and green confetti cannons, with the rest of their groups wearing party hats and holding kazoo’s, with the older ones playing the latter as well. 

“yah, let’s get this party started!” yeonjun oppa screamed.

one by one, the guests came in, more people than originally estimated, and the room was filled to the brim. the album was playing in the background while everyone ate cake and ice cream that the girls had cut, and the staff handed it out to everyone. 

different idols came and went, congratulating the girls and giving really positive feedback to them, some of their sunbaes even giving their phone numbers for any advice or questions that needed to be asked. 

eventually, most of everyone left, eventually leaving the girls alone with ENHYPEN and LE SSERAFIM. the latter gave the girls a big, big hug, leaving a kiss on each cheek, before saying that they’ll meet the girls tomorrow at lunch. after they left, junwon and sunoo gave the girls a hug as well. jay and sunghoon struck a conversation with pae-ri about a recent runway that happened, and heesung and jake got sungie to take a few pictures of them together, as well as a few selfies of all three of them together, in front of the banner- all while jungwon and sunoo left to “get a quick little surprise for you three! you’ll love it i swear!” that left yn alone with riki, who was pretty much quiet for the entire party. 

“yn, right? um, congrats on your debut,” riki said, clapping a short, few times. yn’s ears turned red ever-so slightly, hoping that he wouldn’t notice, and thanked him profusely, smiling sweetly at him, to which he returned. 

“ah, thank you, thank you,” she exclaimed, ignoring the fact that he had to confirm her name from her.

“it’s really impressive how you’ve written most of the songs- you’re what, 16? it’s really cool how you managed to do that!” riki grinned, while yn’s smile faltered a little. well, yes, it was impressive, it just didn’t necessarily sound like a compliment. 

“oh, uh, thanks!” she said anyways, and jungwon and sunoo barged in right then and there. she thanked whatever deity was up there, and turned her attention towards them. 

“yah, what’s this?” pae-ri asked, as the duo struggled to balance a large, black box in between this. 

“be patient!” sunoo playfully scolded, letting the box rest down on a large table. the girls shuffled closer, and jungwon removed the top only to reveal-

“dudes, you struggled to pick up this? together?” sungie exclaimed, albeit happily, taking out a plain, black sweatshirt, snuggling into it. 

“it’s heavier than it looks-” sunoo starts, but was cut off by jungwon.

“it’s ok, hyung,”

the box was filled with three pairs of black hooded sweatshirts and sweatpants, and three bulky duffel bags that had toiletries in them, as well as other bits and bobs, like energy drinks and snacks. there was also an envelope in the middle, which when opened, showed a bunch of fast food coupons. 

“it’s for your practice sessions! it’s our good luck present to you!��� heesung exclaimed warmly.

“ahhh, thank you so much!” yn said happily. she picked up a duffel bag, something that she has been meaning to get, a new one and store the one that she had been using since her trainee days.

“nice, there’s gatorade in here as well,” pae-ri whispered to herself.

“there’s no need to thank us! you guys supported us a lot during our comeback, even though you haven’t debuted, and so it was necessary that we do, too!” jake said, hugging sungie, who was closest to him.

the girls bowed deeply, thanking them a few more times, until jungwon told them to stop, because he was starting to get embarrassed.  

“but in all seriousness, thank you so much, i don’t think you realize how much this means to us,” yn gushed, thanking them again.

“it was no big deal, we promise,” sunghoon said, patting their heads.

they all then said their goodbyes, and left one by one, leaving the girls alone. riki lingered for a moment or two- or had yn imagined it all? - but left behind his hyungs. 

the girls were silent, engulfing one another in a big group hug, and manager park had said that she and the staff will get everything cleaned up and that the girls could rest and tuck in for the night. 

they managed to pick up the box together- and, bless his heart, sunoo was right. it was heavier than what it looked like. still, they managed to lug it to the lobby and into the trunk of one of the company cars, which was driving them to their dorms.

they were silent for most ride, with sungie sitting in the middle and leaning her head on yn’s shoulder, dozing off slowly. pae-ri was watching a dance video and yn was listening to a random playlist on spotify. she was gazing out of the window, passing the streetlights and lampposts.

yn opened up her phone, making sure that sungie was completely asleep before selecting a few photos from the party that she took on her phone. she scanned each and every photo, making sure that the brunet dancer was in frame and in focus in the photo, before shifting them to a locked album that was titled ‘nk’. she went through the album once, skipping to all the way up, to which when she saved screenshots of the idol from when he was on i-LAND, and saved twitter and pinterest posts of pictures of when he was younger, much younger.

one thing that most people don’t know about yn is that when she got obsessed with something, she would get obsessed, so much so that she would make it her entire life. most of these obsessions were short lived, not exceeding more than a couple of months, but it was different this time. this obsession had lived for just about two years, perhaps even more. maybe it started when she was a trainee at BELLE and was visiting the HYBE head office for something she didn’t remember, and she saw him in the lobby. maybe it was when she saw him on screen for the first time, when he entered the i-LAND building. sometime then, she thinks, locking her phone when sungie shifts a little.

once they arrived at their dorms, and after they managed to haul the box and the rest of the immense amount of gifts they received from their friends and fellow idols, the girls started to get un-ready in silence, too tired to have a proper conversation. manager park had texted yn privately, saying that they will be going live in the morning, after they posted pictures from the debut party. yn replied with an ‘ok!’ and started to wipe off her makeup and brush through her hair.

she texted her mom once, seeing if she was awake to call for a little bit, since she was so busy the entire day that she wasn’t able to talk to her family. she waited a bit, but when she was left on ‘sent’, she scrolled through her twitter, and since she followed a bunch of idols today, a lot of pictures of the party came up on her timeline. she smiled, liking them all, commenting on a few. jungwon and sunoo, as well as all the older members posted pictures of them with the girls. she liked and retweeting them with funny comments. she noticed that riki didn’t post anything- but then again, he didn’t give her his twitter, even when he saw his members giving theirs. even though she was a little heartbroken, but she was too tired to do anything. 

‘yah, yn, we have a live to do tomorrow morning, go to bed’ pae-ri’s text woke yn up from her daze, and she replied with an ‘okkkk’ and set an alarm for six am, four hours from when she was awake. she knew that she didn’t have to be awake until nine, but she wanted to hit the gym at HYBE for a bit before anything else to wake herself up for a bit. she also wanted to vlog tomorrow morning, so it would serve as viable content to post.

she put her phone on charge, shutting off her lights, and snuggled into her comforter, smiling to herself, finally feeling happy and content after years and years. 

she let a tear slip from the corner of her eye. not a tear of sadness or sorrow, but of happiness, because yn finally thought that things were going her way.

taglist (closing soon!) ::  @acousticking @mitsukifilms @hyem1ngyu @loveliii @ahnneyong @azngamis-blog @hanniluvi @heesitation @brahms-heelshit@mirakura @adeolalily13 @sunoozz @enwlrd @3chae @bucketofhiros @ilovewonyo @jaxavance @calijimenez @adajoemaya @judeduartwannabe @heartwonder (bolded CANNOT be tagged) (ask, dm, or comment to be added)

lu speaks :: DUDES ITS FINALLY HERE !! this took me like more than a week to write *insert sad face* <]:) but all things aside i hope u all really like this !!! unfortunately i won’t be updating ~ consistently ~ because i have my mocks coming up and the my finals coming up pretty much right after that :’D i am currently drafting the first chapter so yay !!! also i’m so sorry i’ve been super busy with school and all so i haven’t been able to go through all of the comments and asks asking to be on the taglist :( i’ll try to do it by tonight !!! then i’ll add everyone on this post asw <3

[notoriousbeb]

The My Tears Ricochet Deep Dive

While this song obviously has a clear reference to Taylor’s masters being sold to Scooter Braun in November 2019, I don’t think that’s the full story being told here.

When she released Folklore, Taylor shared via Instagram that “My Tears Ricochet” is about an “embittered tormentor showing up at the funeral of his fallen object of obsession.”

Now, why is she fallen? Because her work has been taken from her. Okay, one question answered. ✅

Now, who is the “embittered tormentor obsessed” with Taylor? Scooter Braun, of course…But see, I actually don’t think it’s that simple. I get why that’s the obvious first choice, though.

(Back story for new kids who don’t know why Scoots is trash: In July 2016, Taylor was outcast and called a snake due to a leaked phone call by Kim Kardashian and her then-husband Kanye West. Scooter was Kanye’s manager. Then Kanye put out the video of the song in question from the call—featuring a naked Taylor lookalike. Then Justin Bieber posted that video to Instagram with a photo showing him on a video call with Scooter and Kanye. The caption said, “Taylor Swift what up.” So, they’re all three supreme douche-canoes of the highest order).

However, I think Scooter’s top priority (as always) in buying Taylor’s masters was simply to make money. And if he pissed her off while doing so, that was probably a delightful bonus. But I wouldn’t say he bought her masters because he was obsessed with her. This deal was nearly three years later, and nothing had popped off between the camps in the interim.

I have more on this tormentor/obsessor/muse, concept; but first, back to Folklore. Upon its release, Taylor also revealed in a YouTube livechat that it was the first song she wrote for the album. And that leads me into a bit of timing discussion.

I think Folklore was the result of a few seismic events in Taylor’s life: a run-in with Harry at Ed’s wedding in December 2018 (which I think helped to spawn his second solo album, Fine Line); followed by talking to him during early quarantine in March 2020 in Los Angeles when the Lover tour got postponed and then cancelled; the pandemic itself pushing her, like many of us, into some serious introspection; and, of course, the sale of her masters to Scooter in 2019.

Since this is the very first song Taylor wrote that ended up on Folklore, my speculation is that perhaps it was penned in those first couple of days of the pandemic, before she reconnected with Harry in LA.

Fine Line would have been newly released—just three months prior—and on her birthday no less.

Which leads me back to the tormentor and obsessor. You know what I might find tormenting, if I were Taylor? If I’d been waiting for this one guy to grow the fuck up for years and then (perhaps after we ran into each other at our good friends’ wedding?), he confessed to me that he still wanted me but, even at 25, he still didn’t have his shit together (please see, “Renegade,” “To Be So Lonely,” and “Peter”).

Then, after I piece myself back together following snake gate, some epic twat who bullied me online back then buys my work out from under me from the guy I thought I had a good working relationship with (Scott Borchetta) and while I’m dealing with that bullshit my ex I’m still pining for releases album on my birthday with songs seemingly about us and how he still wants me.

Yeah, that’d have me plenty tormented. And feeling like, since his first album was also quite “a tip of the cap” to me (his words) as well that, yeah, someone was a little obsessed with me.

So, anyway, the lyrics:

We gather here, we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too

We open at the funeral Taylor told us about. Then referencing a potential cremation. If she’s burning, so is he. Because they’re twin flames? Because they’re so close?

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you ‘Til my dying day

Does this sound like someone talking to either a bully or a former business associate? To me it sounds like a very messy, very difficult, former lover.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around, saving face And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

I can see how people could think this was about Scott, but not Scooter. But T herself said this whole thing was about one muse: The embittered obsessor attending her funeral.

Anyway, my take: it’s a lover she couldn’t let go of easily, so it ended messy.

And now he’s out promoting an album full of songs about them, pretending it’s not, because he’s a gentleman. But while he’s acting like she’s nothing to him, they both know what he said to her in private, and what those songs are really about, and no matter how much she cries and waits and wants him to grow up and come get her he just can’t — or won’t.

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll means Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

This is a Biblical allusion to Ecclesiastes 3:5: “A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.” I think she’s referring here to an idea revisited again in “loml,” that she thought she’d be safer and maybe get the life she wanted with someone more stable, versus being in a relationship that left her starry eyed, like she was with Harry…and that’s how she wound up with Joe for six years.

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene

Ah, would it really be a Haylor lyric breakdown if we weren’t talking about ghosts and haunting at some point? 👻 They obviously haunt one another because they can’t shut up about each other. (Not that I’m complaining!)

Two Ghosts: “We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty.” ....Ready for it?: “Wonder how many girls he loved and left haunted.” Cardigan: “I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs.”

You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me

Even while doing the press for Fine Line, H was wearing her ring. Should we talk some more about the Haylor ring? Or burying and graves? Nah. I think these posts sum it up very well.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

I think these lines could be a reference both to things he’s said to her and in his songs about her, particularly the pointed ones. “Lights Up,” for one, which to me, reads like an argumentative back-and-forth about why must things change in a relationship against the backdrop of fame. It also seems to include a tie to “Peter” with “I’m never coming back down,” as compared to “I didn’t want to come down.”

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones

And where is home in this case—and so many others? Each other.

And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

I imagine this is her picturing him listening to her old albums, as she hadn’t done her rerecords yet. Also, again, doesn’t this all seem a bit…intimate and dramatic for a business relationship? Like, picture this moment in the Eras Tour in your mind, please, and tell me with a straight face that you’d sing like this for your former boss. It certainly doesn’t seem like anything you’d say to someone like Scooter. Why would she ever want to talk to him at all?

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same Cursing my name, wishing I stayed You turned into your worst fears And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

So, this is where we get into the “embittered” part of Taylor’s original description of the song’s muse—the person visiting her funeral. Why is he bitter? Because he lost her. She didn’t stay. Perhaps because his own bad behavior pushed her away. “All the light couldn’t put out the dark running through my heart?” “I know you were way too bright for me. I’m hopeless, broken.” Also, and again, please see, “Renegade,” and “To Be So Lonely,” and “Peter” and also “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus.”

[dejablonde]

So I had to write a personal narrative for composition class. I wrote about post-ritual depression leading to a career change, and I thought ghumblr might enjoy. It's only 763 words (after padding it out with some extra academic phrasing) but I don't want to clog your feeds too much so it's below the cut.

"Have you ever like something so much that it rewired your brain?"

            Have you ever liked something so much that it rewired your brain? I can’t pinpoint exactly when I first heard the band called “Ghost,” but it was most likely sometime in 2022. I think the first video (from whichever of the dozen algorithms we get our content from today) pushed to my feed was their performance on Jimmy Kimmel, where they played their song Call Me Little Sunshine. I was taken aback by their theatrical look and sound. I listened to a few more songs, became a casual listener, and even bought their latest album when I came across it at Josey Records. What I can pinpoint, however, is the day I turned feral: April 9, 2023, Easter Sunday.

            Being only a casual listener still, I was curious as to what was going on when I saw that Ghost was trending on Tumblr. As I scrolled through the tag, it became more and more clear that, not only had they had dropped new music, but a new music video to match, almost entirely without warning: a cover of Phil Collins’ Jesus He Knows Me. Of course, I had to listen. From the driving intro into the first verse, to the poppy chorus, to the lyrics addressing hypocrisy from the church and its leaders, it was almost like twenty-eight years of religious trauma were healed in four minutes and five seconds, as if it were that easy. I wasn’t cured, but they certainly made a dent. I listened to it on repeat and branched into the rest of their discography.  After two weeks, I finally caved and bought myself a pit ticket to their upcoming Dallas tour date.

            When the day finally came, five months later, I could barely contain myself. I felt if I could leap hard enough, I would jump right out of my skin. I had taken advantage of the fact that I had the previous day off from work and pretended that I was taking a small trip for Labor Day. This allowed me the day off for the concert. My employers already think I’m strange enough; I didn’t see any need to make it worse by asking for time off to line up for a concert by a Satanic rock band hours early on a Tuesday. Despite the 103-degree weather that day, I made it to the general admission line around noon. I chatted with my new line buddies over the next several hours about the band, how we got into them, and a little bit about our lives in general over the water that the venue security provided. For the first time in a while, I was surrounded by people like me.

            They say that concerts can be a religious experience. I’m not sure I agree, but they’re not exactly wrong. It really is overwhelming, or at least can be. Many aspects are similar, if not the same. Between the community and camaraderie with your fellow “congregants” and the feeling of the music all the way down to your bones, there’s certainly something that happens internally. This concert (or ritual, as Ghost fans lovingly call them) was no exception. After all, when you’re a stone’s throw away from your obsession, bathed in light and confetti, you can’t help but feel a little changed.

            Post-concert depression is a very real and powerful force. It’s even stronger when you come back to work after finally feeling happy and rested only to be met with snideness not even fifteen minutes into the day. I was already dealing with years of declining morale. I wanted to be happy again, like I was the night before. I started looking at job postings immediately. I nearly got one in the same field but interviewed poorly. Eventually, I decided to make up for lost time and try to make a move into what my high-school-aged-self wanted. Or at least something close. Unfortunately, even though apprenticeship-type situations are common in the music industry, it’s very hard to break in without any kind of provable experience. I looked into some recording technology schools but didn’t really feel the need to go into debt on a loan for them. I was about to lose hope, but then I had a lightbulb moment and found that Dallas College has a program for Recording Technology. My application and registration were late in the game, but I was able to squeeze in before the start of this semester. Now, I’m finally doing something I want to do, and it’s all thanks to a funky little Swede in black and white makeup.

[cheegu3]

GOOD BOY GONE BAD |

Yeonjun - trust fund baby

synopsis: He was the ultimate, stereotypical rich kid. A trust fund baby having grown up with everything he wanted, never had to work an honest day in his life. You didn’t know exactly why your dad decided he was the ‘’ perfect fit ‘’ but you ended up being forced to marry him.

wc: 8.3k

pairing: f.m reader x yeonjun

genre: yandere, thriller

note: I decided to do short stories to post for a member every once in a while - every member gets assigned a song from the album somewhat related to the story + every other story has a good or bad ending, 🖤

there’s a lot of time-skips bc I didn’t want to make it too long, also the ending is so bad I’m terrible at endings

a/n + extra warning: this will probably be the darkest fic out of the all the members as it has non-con in it (not description, only ‘’ beginning of it ‘’ + talk of it after - and ofc this is in no way a reflection of yeonjun irl. This character is the most vile, disgusting, punchable asshole I’ve probably ever created. Pls read trigger warnings before continuing ⚠️⚠️⚠️

tw / trigger warning: non-con sex (SA), murder, degrading language, swearing, arranged marriage, forceful feeding, daddy issues & mommy issues, unhealthy attachment style, dacryphilia, LGBTQIA death

((none of the GIFs are mine, if you feel uncomfortable with yours being used in yandere fics pls message me <3 :) ))

He didn’t deserve any of it.

That was all you could think about as you walked the halls of your husband-to-be’s extravagant house. You had always had a deep-rooted hate for rich people. What had they really done in their past lives that made them so special, that made them so worthy of the privilege and easiness that was handed to them at their birth. What was it?

In all your years alive, you had never figured it out. You were quite spiritual due to your upbringing, and believed rich people or people in general who live comfortably with minimal pain - were people who had worked hard in the afterlife to earn points, being able to reincarnate to whatever they wanted to - yet it was still a mystery; why, how - you did not possess the true answers to these questions. You could only watch as they took everything they had for granted, while you barely had enough to survive.

Perhaps the person having the riches didn’t know himself, because he was arrogant, delusional and entitled, thinking the whole world was supposed to be catered to him. 

All he knew was that he wasn’t built for love. At least not normal and healthy love. He only knew obsessions and extremes, that was how he was raised with absent parents, always working. He knew that their parenting, or rather lack of lead to their son being unhealthily attached to his maids and that this would eventually affect his love-life too. He wouldn’t fall in love the typical way - no, he’d fall in ‘’ love ‘’ due to obsession, due to not being able to get whoever he desired whenever he desired it, like a kid throwing a tantrum.

You just happened to be an inconvenience - why did your father have to propose such an idea to a lustful, hormonal young man who was trying to figure out the world. 

So it was really your fault. You were the reason for his forbidden, hushed feelings; those that were dark, unwanted and scary - those he carried but could never show.

That’s why he looked down on you now, standing on the second floor at the top of the stairs - with a mix of emotions behind his eyes. Hatred, anger, maybe pity.

You looked quite kind, sweet and far too innocent for what he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop from happening to you.

He was going to ruin you completely, he’d enjoy it for sure but now all he could feel was sympathy for the broken down version, that was a complete 180 from this woman, that would come to be.

*******

The butler next to you shifted uncomfortably, very much embodying the tense and slightly awkward air in the room.

“ Welcome to house Choi, ma’am “ he pressed out before hurrying away.

You now stood in front of your husband. It all felt a little too unreal. Other than the person you had been married off to, there was also the fact that were was no wedding, no send off or goodbye, no nothing really.

It made it so much harder to accept your current reality.

“ Hello “

He was the first one to speak out of the two of you, now that you had been left alone, to your dismay.

“ Hi “ you said, only keeping the eye-contact briefly.

“ I’ll show you to our room “

You nodded, swallowing all the insults you wanted to hurl at your husband. He took you further into the second floor, where endless hallways stretched from a sort of pentagon shaped base. 

You followed him hurriedly, afraid to get lost - to the middle hallway, at the end of it was yet another unnecessarily extravagant and luxurious item, an almost white or beige tall door with gold carvings on it.

He pushed it open to reveal even more lavishness. You refused to show any sort of fascination or awe at any of it. Yet he still looked at you smugly while you took it all in though, as if expecting anyone to be immensely impressed.

You put down your bags at the end of the bed and sat on it, sighing deeply since you felt grateful for some time to yourself and to be able to rest. But your husband, Yeonjun seemed to linger for long in the doorframe, just watching you creepily.

You finally tore your eyes away from the floor and looked at him, an assertive look on your face.

‘‘ Can I get some alone time or will you stick to me at all times because we’re married now? ‘‘ you asked coldly while keeping eye-contact.

Something flashed behind his eyes, but just as quickly as you had seen it, it was gone and instead replaced by a cocky grin.

‘‘ You’re feisty, aren’t you? ‘‘ he laughed and then turned on his heel, but stopped before closing the door behind him.

‘‘ Ah, right. Dinner’s at 6, don’t be late ‘‘ he pointed at something behind you, a clock and then winked cheekily before finally exiting completely.

You buried yourself under the covers, barely having any time to think before you drifted off to sleep in a heartbeat. 

*******

A loud noise woke you up several hours later. You swore you had just dozed off for a couple of minutes. As the grogginess from sleep wore off, an angry Yeonjun came into your line of view.

He was staring down at you, tie undone and he looked like he could get on top of the bed and choke you just about then.

You sat up straight, now feeling a lot more awake with the fear-inducing eyes on you.

‘‘ S-sorry, did I..? ‘‘ you began, not quite sure yet what you had done wrong.

‘‘ Miss dinner? Yeah ‘‘ he wasted no time on closing the space between you, a hand gripping your arm and hoisting you up on your feet.

You only stared at him in fear but he paid you no mind - stubbornly forcing you to go down the stairs and sit to eat.

The fact that while glancing over and seeing that his seat was empty, made the whole situation more uncomfortable. He was standing to your left, very close and just staring at you waiting for you to eat.

You didn’t even realise you were sweating - you should’ve just taken a bite, to satisfy him but for some reason you couldn’t. The anxiety paired with the intense stare on you made you unable to hold your fork straight.

After a while he was even more fed up. One hand grabbed ahold of your jawline while the other grabbed the fork with a bit of meat. He then forced your mouth open and shoved it in so forcefully that you felt the ends of the fork stab the roof of your mouth.

You winched away from him, but he was already going for another bite. This time you let him open your mouth without much resistance.

When his eyes lingered on you again you quickly swallowed. He looked satisfied and you made the mistake of thinking he wasn’t angry anymore; that, that was the end of it.

He led you upstairs again, into your shared bedroom and closed the door behind. Everything was normal at first, he got ready for bed without saying a word - you of course turned away when he took his shirt off and instead went to the bathroom to do the same thing and brush your teeth.

You ended up admiring the nightgown he had given you. It was a bit too short but it was very cute with bows and lace at the edges. You smiled for the first time that day at such a small thing.

Then you braced yourself before walking out again. You barely looked at him before crawling into bed but felt how the bed dipped as he got in too.

Why was he being so quiet?

‘‘ Goodnight ‘‘ you said, hesitantly.

You felt your cheeks slightly heat up at the long silence after. Then you heard shuffling and felt him turn around to face you.

You felt uncomfortable again, closing your eyes and trying to think of anything but the fact that he was so close. That’s when he started to move closer, his heavy breath eventually tickling your neck as he buried his head in the crook of it.

‘‘ Aren’t you gonna give me a wedding gift? Stay still for me ‘‘ he said in a half-whisper, his husky voice sending shivers down your back.

Your furrowed your brows and was about to ask what he meant. 

‘’ I deserve this ‘’ he added.

Yeonjun’s hand slipped under the nightgown, lifting it so your underwear was exposed. You gasped and instantly reacted by trying to tug it down but his hand caught your wrist.

He liked how you struggled in his iron-like grip, he was stronger than you, way stronger and he was very determined to get what he had been waiting all day for.

You whimpered as you felt yourself run out of energy to keep trying to fight back and the realisation that the inevitable would happen because of it, broke your heart; tears streamed down your face as he flipped you over on your stomach.

Yeonjun felt ecstatic. He had been waiting too long for this, the moment you were declared his wife he wanted to mark you as his - practically willing to go to your house straight away. But he composed himself, he wanted it to be special. 

As special as it can be for someone who is sick and is only able to love sickly. In his fantasy it wasn’t romantic, it was a sort of ceremony. For his pleasure, and for your submission to be put into stone.

What he hadn’t expected though was for him to enjoy your tears so much. While watching you now, face down and pressed to the pillow with muffled sobs escaping you - he felt arousal and ecstasy and most of all power, all that he craved in front of him and within.

You did that to him. You brought out those addictive feelings. It was your fault you made him feel like this.

And finally he’d be able to punish you for it, something sure to leave a mark forever.

*******

The sun shined right onto your face early in the morning, making you toss and turn and realise at the same time that you were unfortunately alive - you had prayed to not wake up again, but alas God never listens.

The memories of the night before came flooding back to you but you tried your best to push them away by repeating random words inside your head in hopes of your brain latching on to something else.

You cautiously peeked at the man beside you. Seeing that monster after what he did to you almost made you throw up. The glance was quick, he looked like he was sleeping comfortably, resting on one of his arms that was stretched up and under his head.

Despite you crying yourself to sleep and wishing to never wake up again, there was one thing you had wished for more - for him to never wake up again. It would be the ultimate karma if he never did. You would inherit his fortune living comfortably in this big mansion all alone, not a man in sight to disturb you.

But whenever you allowed your mind to wander like that the more realistic thoughts would hit, unfortunately. Saying that if it sounded too good to be true, it was very likely to be so.

Soon enough, you felt your husband’s hands wrap around your waist, tugging you so close that your back was touching him.

Involuntarily you began to shake, thinking he was going to repeat his horrific acts until you showed submission and obedience.

A sudden deep laugh caught you off guard.

“ You can’t even look at me “ Yeonjun said, tauntingly.

You closed your eyes praying to whatever God was out there to not make you cry in this moment, to not show weakness.

“ You’re still fighting, which makes it more fun for me “ he added.

“ But really, we both know you should give up, especially after yesterday “ he sneered.

Your body froze, you felt like you had to get out of his arms because they were not a safe space. Putting your weight on your forearm, you pushed with it to sort of shuffle out of his hold.

He scoffed and not even a second later you were pulled back into his arms without any effort.

It felt humiliating and defeating.

“ You’re so fucking weak “

His words hit like knives, and he knew it did.

The dark, mocking chuckles that followed felt very disturbing. But nonetheless, you were still extremely determined to not give in completely and let yourself cry. It proved to be harder than you had thought. You almost flinched and audibly gagged when you felt his disgusting hands wandering and snaking around your waist again. It took a lot of effort to not do any of that, on top of not crying - it was honestly exhausting.

Your eyelids began feeling heavy again. Yeonjun felt you relax - finally not fighting back anymore, which surprised him. Instead of having to fight the emotions from overtaking you, you now had to fight to stay awake, because there was no way in hell you’d let yourself fall asleep around him and be as vulnerable as can be.

It was taking all of your energy to stay awake though. The man behind you gave you a rare smile, one only he could see. He couldn’t help but find you cute in that moment. You looked very vulnerable - fighting deeply against the unfairness of the world, but in the end, succumbing to something as simple as a basic human need.

How pathetic

As your breathing became heavier, head hanging only for it to dart back up a few seconds later - along with you desperately trying to tell yourself words in your mind to stay awake, you eventually was not able to fight the laws of the nature.

Your head dipped again, but this time you fell asleep deeply. Soundly sleeping comfortably in the arms of your abuser.

Yeonjun looked down at you with a newfound curiosity. In a way it was bittersweet - he could have manipulated you, played his cards right and made you fall in love but in the end he knew it was gonna be a one-sided relationship again, like all his past relationships, wether it be romantic or platonic.

He was scared of going out of his usual routine. New things or experiences scared him and he didn’t feel that anything such would go his way. If you knew this, maybe you wouldn’t blame him but then again, that was probably just him making excuses for acting badly towards people.

He hadn’t known any other way but for some reason you had to suffer because of it - Yeonjun knew that wasn’t fair, but he felt he couldn’t help it. It’s very hard to break free from the way you’re programmed to do, every day of your life.

Your newfound husband thought this as he looked at his wife. He didn’t want to do anything inappropriate at that moment, he just wanted to watch you sleep, curiously.

You looked the most comfortable and safe when you slept, a slight upturn of the corners of your mouth was something that indicated this, and something he had noticed the night before.

Maybe it was because that was the only place that felt truly safe for you. If he was normal, he would’ve started to feel immense guilt by now, but Yeonjun felt nothing.

He felt that very thing he did - he did for a reason and putting oneself’s first as a priority wasn’t a bad thing.

*******

When you opened your eyes again, it didn’t take long for you to recall what had happened just before you fell asleep. However, you quickly realised you couldn’t feel his strong hold around you anymore.

You looked behind you and then scanned the rest of the room and came to the conclusion that he must’ve got up and left the room. You let out a relieved sigh, not sure if you could handle his suffocating presence again. You were thankful for the few moments alone you got.

So you sat there for several minutes - not particularly admiring the room like you would’ve if this was normal, because it was anything but normal. Instead you were looking around the room to look for weapons and escape routes.

It was spacious, should he chase you; but it had downsides - it didn’t have any good weapons, maybe purposefully and it only had the one door to the bathroom, the other door to the entrance and windows that were far too high up.

You went over the pros and cons of jumping through the window, because you were way too sure there was no way you’d get out through the front; he had those terrifying guards, maids and probably an alarm. In short, way too many things to alert the devil that you were trying to escape.

If you were to jump, you might break a leg or two at most, you could handle one leg or a broken ankle, as well as a broken arm but maybe you were being way too optimistic. Either way you refused to let the small spark of hope inside die.

Firm knocks interrupted your thoughts. You glanced to the door just in time to see it open, revealing Yeonjun. He hadn’t even waited for you to give an answer, the thought made you scoff as you met his eyes - of course not.

‘‘ You’re finally up ‘‘ he said plainly.

You pursed your lips and nodded.

‘‘ Let’s go down then, my maids are waiting for you ‘‘

You furrowed your brows confusedly. His maids? What could they possibly want?

He laughed at your puzzled expression.

‘‘ To bathe you ‘‘ 

‘‘ To, bathe- ‘‘ you stuttered.

But your husband had already turned on his heel.

‘‘ I have short patience, move it ‘‘ he warned while looking over his shoulder at you, not stopping once.

You hurriedly followed and on the way down the staircase you looked around like you had done in the bedroom to look for escape routes and possible weapons. The sight disappointed you yet again, and without meaning to you let out a defeated sigh.

‘‘ No need to look, there’s no way out of here ‘‘ he snickered in front of you with his back turned.

‘‘ What? I wasn’t- ‘‘

‘‘ I have cameras, everywhere ‘‘ 

You swallowed the uncomfortable feeling in your throat. Technically you hadn’t done anything wrong but you were terrified of getting punished again, which was why you felt like you were now walking on eggshells.

You followed him all the way down the many notorious hallways - ending up outside a smaller bathroom, luxurious nonetheless, with the door standing open and revealing one maid kneeling by the bathtub. It looked like she was scrubbing it. When she heard your footsteps coming to a halt in front of the bathroom she looked up and gave a polite smile.

‘‘ Hello, master ‘‘

You cringed at the word.

‘‘ Take care of her ‘‘ Yeonjun said, barely reacting to what she had called him.

The maid nodded and then turned her attention to you.

‘‘ Welcome, y/n. We’re very happy you’re here ‘‘ she said, warmly.

You had to bite your tongue to hold yourself back from exploding in anger or giving her a sarcastic comment. Still, you realised they most likely had no choice in what to say or do when it came to their ‘master’s’ house.

A hand grazed your lower back, sending shivers down your spine, before giving you a slight nudge that made you take a step forwards.

You were about to look back and say something but yet again he was already on his way. You scoffed. He did how he pleased at all times.

‘‘ Y/n? ‘‘ the maid’s soft voice caught your attention again.

‘‘ Hm? ‘‘ you said mindlessly, still watching your husband striding down the corridor.

You wondered what he was in such a hurry to do, where was he going?

‘‘ By orders, I have to wash you. Please enter ‘‘ she said, the polite smile faltering a bit showing that her patience was running out.

You sighed and stepped inside. Not long after an arm reached behind you and closed the door, locking it.

The maid clearly didn’t want to waste any more time, because as soon as the click echoed in the small room - her petite hands quickly found the rim of your t-shirt. She was keeping eye-contact to get consent so she could continue undressing you, and it weirdly felt very intimate yet appreciative.

You nodded, smiling awkwardly. It was clear that both of you wanted it to be over with, so you weren’t going to fight and risk making it last longer.

She pulled the shirt over your head and looked into your eyes again when reaching for your pants. You nodded, avoiding eye-contact.

She did the rest swiftly and then told you to wait while preparing the bath. As she was doing so, you got the chance to really look at her. You couldn’t stop yourself even if you really wanted to. 

You were planning on leaving this place anyway and didn’t want to have to save people you had just met. But you couldn’t help but feel pity as you watched her turn on the tap. She looked young, but older than you by quite a few years and you knew deep inside that there was no way she was doing this job willingly, something you didn’t want to think about.

She also looked sad, her head was hanging most of the time, except for when she had to look into your eyes. It was obvious her polite, sweet smile was a trained automatic mechanism to appear fine and normal on the outside. But if you looked closer you could see the stress evident on her skin and her dark circles.

She turned to you now, with that smile on her face.

‘’ The bath is ready, miss ‘’

You got up and let yourself be lead into the bath, one hand holding onto hers for balance. While in you let out a satisfied breath. This was definitely the most relaxed you had felt since arriving at the mansion; a well deserved break.

After some time of having your eyes closed and a long silence, you opened your eyes again to thank the maid. Her hand was still holding yours but she looked back at you with such intensity that all your words got knocked out of you.

Her eyes were open wide, red specked like she hadn’t slept in days and her fingers tightened around your hand when she saw that she had finally caught your attention.

All you managed to get out was a confused groan.

‘’ Miss, you need to get out of here ‘’ she started, talking at a rapid speed.

‘’ It’s awful here you need to escape before it’s too late I know a way it will take time- ‘’ she added, so quickly it all melted into an incomprehensible mumble.

‘‘-slow down! ‘‘ you grabbed her shoulders to ground her and she breathed out shakily.

‘‘ I’m sorry, miss ‘‘ 

You smiled at her, seeing that she had calmed down but she looked rather disappointed in herself.

‘‘ You have to escape ‘‘ 

You tilted your head at this.

This was the last thing you had expected. The first worker you see is willing to risk their life to help you escape. Not only that, but they grab the first chance they get with you alone to tell you that you need to escape.

‘’ I know a way, I- ‘‘ 

‘‘-What? You know a way? Please tell me, hurry, please! ‘‘ 

It was your time to sound desperate now. You felt paranoid that Yeonjun would come back any minute now. Your heartbeat had picked up and you stared at her the same way, with the same intensity she had done just a few seconds ago.

‘‘ Yes, but it will take time, miss calm down ‘‘ her thumb stroked over your intertwined hands.

You breathed in and out deeply which made your heart-rate stabilise as well as calm your overactive mind which was overflowing with questions, having an urgent need for action.

‘‘ First, you need to gain his trust. You will have to do whatever it takes, no matter how much you hate it ‘‘ she nodded firmly when she saw you grimace at the idea.

‘‘ Then, once he trusts you enough he will let you go outside. You will always be with maids or guards outside but when the day comes that I’m the one to watch over you, you make a run for it! ‘‘ she said in a hushed, urgent voice.

‘‘ Where to? ‘‘ 

‘‘ At the end of the garden he has a botanical pathway, big plants and flowers cover it, but there’s a secret gate there at the very end that leads directly onto a footpath ‘‘

‘‘ You follow it and you will eventually reach a hill, on top you can see the neighbourhoods and the city. It won’t take long to get to the nearest house ‘‘

You nodded eagerly, now taking both of her hands into yours.

‘‘ Thank you, thank you so much ‘‘ your eyes welled up with tears of gratitude.

She gave you a genuine, wide smile full of hope for the first time.

‘‘ What are you doing? ‘‘ a curious and slightly disgusted voice asked.

You and the maid jumped at the new voice joining the conversation. None of you had noticed the door opening, Yeonjun must’ve opened it slowly because he heard hushed voices inside. 

But to your surprise, he didn’t look angry. He merely cocked an eyebrow and smirked when you looked at him bewildered and with what you could only imagine was a guilty expression.

‘‘ Are you two done? ‘‘

The maid snapped out of her shock and got up on her feet, pulling you up by the arm with her. She bowed deeply and seemed to keep her head hanging lower than usual, probably to hide her flushed cheeks.

‘‘ Yes, sorry sir ‘‘ she hurried to blurt out, voice shaky.

Yeonjun looked satisfied with her answer and turned his eyes to you again. An amused glint took over his brown eyes, that traveled over your body. That was the exact moment both you and the maid realised you were still naked.

You shrieked and immediately darted behind her to try and hide.

‘‘ Oh come on, it’s not like I haven’t seen it already ‘‘ he teased meanly. 

You felt yourself get angry again but held back when the maid’s words came into your head again. She, on the other hand looked embarrassed and slightly uncomfortable at his words.

Several seconds in silence passed without him moving an inch, he had a challenging look in his eyes whenever you dared meet them. So you sighed after finally having enough of the game and went past the maid to pick up your clothes.

You could feel both their eyes on you as you quickly got dressed but you ignored it and hoped that your cheeks wouldn’t be flushed as well.

Then you stood up and stepped out of the room to stand next to Yeonjun, ready to follow him. You gave the maid another small smile of gratitude.

‘‘ Let’s go ‘‘

*******

After your talk with the maid you barely saw her and you started to feel anxious, thinking your husband had gotten rid of her or somehow found out your scheming. Time was moving incredibly slow, it felt like he never let his noose around your neck go, never making things a bit easier for you or being a bit more lenient - no matter how much you took whatever he did to you.

Every night, you’d cry and pray that the next day would be different, that tomorrow would be the day he loosened the hold to give you the opportunity to escape.

You hoped he hadn’t noticed your sudden change in behaviour. Thankfully, you didn’t think so because he had acted the exact same the past week. He rarely showed affection unless it was concealed under a humiliating tone but nothing else had changed. He was away for most of the day, going to his prestigious school and studying some before coming to torment you.

But then, the day came at last. You had thought it was another normal day with the same routine, a day of similarity merging together with all the other mundane days. 

You got up at the same time as him like always. Then you went downstairs to make breakfast for him and with a dead, emotionless expression on your face, you served him. He finished eating and dragged you upstairs to sit on the bed, praised you for being a ‘’ good girl ‘’ and forcefully kissed you, like he always did because he was afraid of showing he actually loved you.

Then he went downstairs and you were expected to follow him. As you were about to close the door he spoke to the guard next to the door.

‘‘ Ah right, today, she’s allowed outside. Don’t let her get out of your sight ‘‘ 

You immediately lit up but you suppressed it from showing with all your might. The guard nodded and bowed as Yeonjun walked to his driver, meanwhile he himself turned to you.

He didn’t say anything, but just opened the door all the way so you could walk out. You gave him what you thought was a weak smile, filled with uncertainty and nervousness and then followed as he started walking down the garden.

The garden was a lot bigger than you had imagined, something that would be a disadvantage to a person looking to escape. It was wide, long and open - not having many hiding-spots due to the big flower bushes being far from the path. They followed the huge cobble-wall that seemed to go as far as you looked.

The guard came to a halt about halfway down the path. If you continued down the steps that were a few meters away, there was a crossroad, one way to the left, where you assumed hot-springs were, due to the cloud of steam emitting from over there - and one straight way that looked thick with bushes almost swallowing the small path, you were sure that was where you’d reach the botanical garden the maid was talking about.

You made a mental note of it and then walked over to the wooden bench that the guard was pointing to. He lingered for a few minutes behind, keeping a close watch on you but left momentarily to answer a phone-call.

When he returned he barked orders at the handful of gardeners watering the plants to keep an eye on you as he had to do something important.

This could be your only chance.

The only problem was that you had to distract them somehow. But you thought there were a few ways although a shot in the dark, that you had to try. Not trying would make you more disappointed in yourself than trying to escape and then getting caught.

So you took a few calming breaths to prepare yourself and then approached the one closest to you. She was an elderly lady and was crouched down, picking some berries.

‘‘ Excuse me? ‘‘

You went over the practiced lines and plan once more in your head and tried to give her a confident smile.

The elderly woman turned her head towards you and blinked a few times, a blank expression on her face.

‘‘ Um, well I saw that there were some kids over by the entrance, they were apparently cutting off the flowers to give to someone else ‘‘

She continued to stare at you with a puzzled expression but gave no answer. When you saw her head turn to look at the other workers you panicked a bit, she didn’t seem to believe you so you had to give everything you got.

‘‘ Really, think of how disappointed Yeonjun would be when he finds out, your master ‘‘

Her eyes bulged as soon as you mentioned Yeonjun and she quickly scrambled to her feet, setting off on a half-run straight away.

You hurried down the steps, getting even closer to the crossway now and hid along with the wall. The gardeners who were working on the flowerbeds further away looked at each other confusedly. 

You got lucky, they started to move to follow the elderly woman meanwhile the ones closest to the mansion’s wall, where they couldn’t see you, stayed behind.

Just like you had planned in your head, you waited a bit longer before you would try to run for it.

You started to count down a minute, glancing a lot at the workers above and down the path again. It seemed quiet, so you slowly moved along the wall.

‘‘ What do you think you’re doing? ‘‘

The blood in your veins froze.

That voice...the one you hated so much. 

It was coming from right behind you. Somehow, being caught redhanded made your fight or flight kick in and you ran for it without looking back.

You could hear steps coming closer and closer.

Heading straight for the overgrown botanical garden you jumped into a rose bush some meters in. Running wasn’t your strongest suit so you figured hiding was the smartest move, and also since he’d know exactly what you would’ve been heading for. 

The steps became louder and you held your breath as they went right past you. The sound disappeared completely as the distance between you and your captor increased. How you wished there was another way out though; all you could do now was to wait for him to run back after realising you weren’t there and then you could crawl out and make a run for it again.

It would take way longer than you had anticipated.

It felt like you had sat still for hours in the bush, not daring to move around or barely breathe. The sky had even turned dark before you felt brave enough to peek out from your hiding spot.

Every sound made your anxiety spike - every rustling leaf or crunch from the gravel below your feet. Maybe it wasn’t too late to turn back? You could go out and up to the house, beg on your knees for Yeonjun to forgive you and maybe you’d be left alone, unhurt. 

You quickly shook off this thought invading your mind, it was too late to turn back now, you had waited too long for this opportunity to escape your personal hell on earth to chicken out now.

You remembered what your mom had told you - if you try there’s a 50/50 chance, if you don’t, it’s 0%. With these words echoing in your mind you finally pushed the last bush aside, revealing the path again to you.

A quick glance from side to side told you that no one was on it. You also listened for a few seconds but all that could be heard in the deafening silence were your own heavy breaths. 

You took a hesitant step out, being fully out in the open now to whoever had a view of the botanical garden’s entrance. It felt as if the sound of your heart drumming in your chest would cause it to jump out any minute - maybe along with any predators that lurked in these corners. 

The path cleared only for you to come face to face with an overgrown bit again but you knew that this was the way out, the hidden door. Pushing through it would prove to be quite the hassle. Thorns cut your skin easily and you hissed while trying to ignore the warm liquid pouring down slowly.

There wasn’t much left now, the maid can’t have meant a long path.

Right as you were beginning to see the clearing through the thinner leaves in front, you were yanked back by your hair.

You yelped in pain and tried to get out of the person’s hold. Deep down, you knew who it was which only made you thrash around frantically, desperately trying to get away from your predator.

‘‘ Found you ‘‘

His voice was low with no amusement in it, like he was tired and quite irritated. You felt cold metal touch the exposed skin on your neck, and seconds later you weren’t able to continue fighting back.

You cursed yourself, Yeonjun and even the world for being so unfair - expecting your vision to get blurry and accepting it when you fell into darkness again. 

*******

Your husband stood in front of your slumped form now. The guards had tied you up behind the pillar like they were told and he was just waiting for you to wake up.

Yeonjun was feeling only a little bit bad about what was about to happen, but you had tried to escape after all. Although it wasn’t successful, you had almost put everything on the line. If the public found out that a top businessman’s son had treated his wife like that, then the empire wouldn’t be his to take over. He couldn’t let that happen, so he needed to teach you a lesson - never escape again, never even try it.

Minutes passed and he was getting impatient. He walked over and nudged you with his foot, like you were no more than an animal that he didn’t want to be associated with.

You stirred slightly and then opened your eyes. Immediately you wished you could go back to being asleep, the only place you seemed to get peace.

The first thing you saw was your dad. Hands and feet bound and kneeling on the floor with a gag in his mouth. He looked rough. There were visible cuts on his face and his head was hanging looking like just holding his head up was tiresome. 

‘‘ What have you done to him? Why is he here? ‘‘ you asked, voice hoarse.

You felt exactly like your dad, tired and like you had given up. That hope you had so desperately held on to was not at all evident in your voice now.

Yeonjun crouched down next to you and the corners of his mouth curled up. There was no frustration in his eyes anymore, he met yours confidently - he had after all gotten what he wanted.

‘‘ Your dad is here...because you couldn’t behave ‘‘ he says, mockingly slow like you were a child or too stupid to understand.

You didn’t answer him, you only looked at your dad with pity. Somehow you knew what was going to happen to him but you felt too tired and angry to care. Nothing really surprised you now anyway, especially when it came to the extent of Yeonjun’s sadism and cruelty. 

His eyebrows twitched while watching you, he was confused.

‘‘ You don’t care? ‘‘

At that you saw your father move, his head raising to somewhat try to look at you. Something stirred in your heart; no matter what he had done to you, you could never hate him. No matter how hard you’d try, there would always be a sense of love and care for him. You wanted him to be happy and healthy, not here to meet a horrible fate that was due to your reckless actions.

The realisation of your true feelings made a single tear fall. You looked at him and met his eyes, smiling bittersweetly.

‘‘ I do ‘‘

‘‘ But? ‘‘ 

‘‘ There’s nothing I can do ‘‘

His arrogant laugh echoed. Not long after, he started to turn his head to focus on your dad, as if expecting something.

‘‘ I think there’s something you should know. Before your dad meets his fate that is ‘‘

Yeonjun paid you no attention as you stared bewildered at him, not sure what to expect.

He smirked again, eyes never leaving your dad. You saw in the corner of your eye how one of his guards moved from behind.

‘‘ You see, your dad never sold you off, not easily anyway ‘‘ you blinked at him, dread slowly creeping up on you.

‘‘ He was forced to. My dad threatened that he would kill you when your dad failed to follow through a payment. This was the only way he could save your life although immediately putting his own in misery ‘‘ he laughed mockingly to your dad.

‘‘ How pathetic ‘‘

Your eyes stung with fresh tears. You wished so badly that he was wrong; that your dad had really been an awful person to give his daughter up like that. But reality was often much more crueler than you’d expect, making this goodbye a deeply painful one.

Yeonjun felt amused as he watched your dad cry upon seeing your tears fall. He had lived with such guilt and pain, having to know every day that you hated him. But now, he felt more the pain of seeing his beloved daughter cry as she realised something and as he knew they would soon be separated again.

During the time you were apart and you hated him, he couldn’t help but think like a father - was your husband treating you okay? Were you fed and cared for? Did you feel lonely?

It ached his heart to come face to face with the person he had been forced to give you off to - a couple of days ago when he had visited your parents’ home, there to take him away and cause his daughter more pain.

Still he felt immensely grateful that the truth would come out before you had to say your goodbyes. It hurt too much on his soul to know you had hatred for him, for something he only did to save you.

Your dad saw it too, the man approaching him while you were focused on Yeonjun, hanging on to every word he said. Therefor he hurried to say his last words.

‘‘ I love you, y/n, goodbye ‘‘

Your head whipped around at his words just as the wandering man plunged a sword through his heart. It felt as if your whole world came crashing down. The lifeless body of your dad fell to the ground and a thick silence followed.

You started to sob uncontrollably, breaths getting quicker. Yeonjun smiled at the mess he had created and then sat down fully next to you, his back resting against the pillar. 

He let you cry there for a long time. You weren’t even sure how long had passed when your sobs calmed down and you felt like there wasn’t an ounce of water left to cry out anymore.

It seemed as if his niceties had been extended for a reason though as more was yet to come. The entrance door opened, the maid coming in with two guards behind her and she was tied just like your dad had been.

You furrowed your brows in confusion and sat up straight, the grogginess from crying quickly disappearing.

Yeonjun got up too, looking happy that there was some new action. This time, he decided to go over to the maid.

He took a hold of your maid’s hair that was neatly tied into a bun and yanked it forwards, earning a yelp of pain from her. Now that she was closer, you could see that she also had marks of resistance, cuts that were bleeding and even old bruises. It made you feel like you could cry again.

Was this all because of you?

‘‘ Do you recognise her? ‘‘

You nodded; mind working overdrive to try and find a possible way he could’ve found out.

‘‘ The one who helped you escape, right? ‘‘ 

He tilted his head while looking down at her degradingly. 

‘‘ And does she know? ‘‘ he met your eyes, smirking and visibly enjoying your puzzled expression that then turned into a horrified realisation.

The maid kept her head down and you were thankful you didn’t have to meet her eyes as your husband continued his torture session.

‘‘ Does she know that all it takes for little y/n to catch feelings is...someone being nice to her? ‘‘ he scoffed ‘‘ So pitiful ‘‘

You felt your face burn in embarrassment, fresh tears threatening to spill at any moment.

‘‘ And an older woman at that ‘‘ 

You refused to meet any of their eyes. 

‘‘ Is it maybe to make up for the lack of love your mommy gave you? ‘‘ he smiled gleefully, not even trying to hide his sadistic emotions.

It was starting to feel painful and uncomfortable. You twisted - trying to in any way get away from the words hitting you, insulting you. The painful childhood memories that somehow Yeonjun had known was hitting every deep spot you had fought so hard to keep buried, and he knew this.

‘‘ But I feel betrayed, by both of you. So someone has to pay ‘‘ he added.

You immediately found his eyes again.

‘‘ Please! Don’t hurt her, just kill me instead! ‘‘ 

You didn’t know if you were begging for him to kill you for your sake more than the maid’s, because after all there’s no way you actually had feelings for her already, right?

You had laid awake every night since then thinking about her. Wondering if she was safe and happy but that must all be normal? She had helped you after all. Either way, there was no way Yeonjun was going to kill you, in the end it’s not the dead you should feel bad for and that are in pain, it’s the living.

Both the maid and you knew what was coming. You gave her a sad, apologetic smile and refused to let your true feelings show; even as the guard reached the second victim, plunging the sword deep into her heart and as her lifeless body hit the floor, you refused to cry. 

You knew that wasn’t what she would’ve wanted you to do anyway. She would’ve wanted you to get revenge and escape on both of your behalves. Just like that, the spark of hope inside came alive again.

No matter what, you had to go through with the plan the maid had told you about a week ago. That time she had approached you and told you about what was going to happen when you’d try to escape.

/

‘‘ They know you’re gonna escape soon. Everyone’s on high alert, even if they’re doing everything to not show it ‘‘ 

You blinked at her, caught off guard by her sudden appearance behind you. You hadn’t seen her since that time she told you about the plan.

A few other maids passed by and you smiled as to not draw attention to yourselves.

‘‘ How do they know? ‘‘ you whispered urgently.

The maid sighed.

‘‘ I overheard maids gossiping as I was cleaning one of the bathrooms a few days ago ‘‘

You sighed now too.

‘‘ Don’t worry. I know their whole plan, you just have to be the perfect actress and then after- when they’ve..killed me. That’s when you can go ‘‘

‘‘ W-what do you mean kill you? ‘‘

She gave you a sad smile, full of meaning.

‘‘ You have to let them kill me for this to work, just trust me please ‘‘ she pleaded, eyes glossy.

‘‘ Okay...I guess I have no other choice ‘‘ you answered after a few moments of hesitating ‘‘ I will trust you ‘‘.

/

As if on cue while you reminisced the memory - all of the guards, maids and even Yeonjun covered their yawning mouths, sudden sleepiness hitting them. It quickly escalated and they grabbed whatever was nearest to not plunge to the floor.

The maid’s plan had worked, the sleeping pills she had slipped into their drinks had worked.

Fresh tears streamed down freely down your cheeks now as you whispered a small ‘’ thank you ‘’ to her still body. Then you untied yourself and stood up. 

It didn’t take long for you to gather your stuff and finally be able to leave your personal hellhole. You opened the door cautiously as if you were expecting someone to be outside the front door ready to ambush you. 

But it was deserted, not even a gardener in sight. You stopped for a moment, having the time to do so as you had already called for a taxi; you just stood there, still and finally feeling at peace, breathing in the fresh air.

You weren’t sure how long the pills would last - the two of you had discussed the use of poison to really be sure they wouldn’t come after you but the maid insisted to use a non-killing option. She explained that he had way more people working for him, they would try to get their revenge by either killing you or getting you convicted, aka a life sentence is prison. So, you had to reluctantly agree. 

But for now, you weren’t too anxious with thoughts of them waking up and possibly finding you within a week because - At last, you were free.

-

a/n: thank u for reading, this is my longest fic yet! also plz don’t drink and write LMAO, this is how the first draft went, I hope it makes u laugh as much as it made me;

In all your years alive, you had never figured it out. You were quite sporitual, and believed rich peoplöe were people who had worked hard in the afteife to rarn points to reincarnatw to whatever they wanted to - yet it eas still a myserty, why, how . you did not posoess tthese questi0jsl

Perhaps the person havijng the riches didnät know himlsef, becausde he was arogant, delusional and enititled, tnining the whole world was supposed to be catered to him.

All he knew was that he wasn’t bu9lt for love. At leadt npt normal and healthy love. He only knew obsessions and extemes, that was how he was raisefd with absednt parents, always fowkring, Hr  knew rhat their faith would eventually ebefall his fown, he wouldnät gall in love the picak way - no, heäd faöö in lovde due to obsession, due to not being able to get whoever he desire whenver he desired it.

holyt shit i cans bareky see my screen hi w will

[everythingpresley]

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 20

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Jessica Anderson is Elvis Presley's assistant and after months of working together, slowly something sparks between them. Friendship? Or is it more? [ Fem!Reader ]

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+), Slowburn

    ||     Word Count: 6,104

Author's Note: I'm sorry. This chapter broke me.

Masterlist

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 20

I walked in from the pool with Grace to see the guys standing around in the kitchen but Elvis was missing. I frowned when I didn’t spot him. Joe caught my eye, he discreetly pointed up stairs knowing I was looking for Elvis.

“Thank you.” I mouthed and headed for Elvis’ room, making sure no one was looking at me as I quickly ran up the stairs taking two steps at a time. I knocked on the door and walked in. 

Elvis was siting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands.

“Hey.” I said and smiled gently.

“Hey.” He audible breathed, looking up and gave me a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

I frowned “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah.” He sighed and patted his lap “Come here. I want a hug.”

I smiled, shutting the door behind me before bouncing over to him. I sat on his lap and hugged him, he shoved his face into the crook of my neck. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked him once again as I ran my fingers through his soft raven hair. 

He pulled away from my neck “Now that you’re here. Yes.” He replied and kissed my lips gently. 

“Is something bothering you?” I asked him once he pulled away, pushing his hair away from his forehead.

Elvis shook his head no “I’m just tried. Long meetings.”

He kissed my cheek softly, lingering as he did.

“Are you sniffing me?” I chuckled.

“Yes.” He mumbled against my cheek “You always smell so good.”

“So do you. It drives me insane.” I grinned.

He pulled away and grinned, his smile finally reaching his eyes “I love learning new things but now I know you’re obsessed with me.” He teased.

“Like you’re not obsessed with me?” I teased back, raising a brow.

His smile faltered, sadness creeping back into his eyes as they roamed all over my face. He reached forward and cupped my cheek before slowly leaning in and capturing my lips in a tender kiss. I melted in his arms, his kiss was so tender and heartfelt yet I felt my heart ache with worry.

Why did he look sad? What was wrong? 

I know he said he’s just tired but I wondered if something else was going on inside his head.

“Honey.” I broke the kiss with a frown on my face “What’s going on?” My eyes zeroed into his sad blue ones.

“Just-“ He sighed “Feeling deflated.”

“With what?” I asked running my hands up and down his arms.

“Life. My career. Everything.”

He had mentioned he feels tired from singing the same songs over and over again. He wishes to do something more. I didn't know how to make him feel better. What should I say? Or maybe he’s just venting and doesn't want any input so I chose to remain quiet. 

He sighed and hugged me into him “Just hold me.” 

And I did. 

The next few days I didn’t get to see Elvis much, it’s like we kept missing each other or we were constantly being surrounded by people. Also, Elvis was recording a new album so we didn’t even get to see one another even late at night because recording always ran late. Elvis the perfectionist, especially when it came to his music. However, I loved that about him. I loved his passion of making music and producing only the best for his fans and listeners. 

It was only a few days yet I missed him immensely. I got used to having him for myself, going on little dates, cuddling until the early hours of the morning. This really cemented my decision on staying here and keeping my job as his assistant, I could never handle being miles and miles away from this man. 

I was still thinking back to that night, I didn’t fully believe that he was just upset about his career. What did he mean by life and everything? I was very reluctant to ask him about it incase he gets closed off which he sometimes does when he doesn't want to speak about a certain subject. 

It was another night of me going to bed on my own. I would wake up before him but let him sleep in because of the late night sessions. I fell asleep with a small ache in my heart, wishing Elvis was here cuddling me.

A few hours later, I heard Elvis’ voice come through the cloud of drowsiness. It took me a second to actually realize he was calling me.

“Baby?” He whispered in my ear.

“Hmm?” I hummed but kept my eyes closed, my eye lids feeling to heavy.

“I’m sorry.” He said and kissed my cheek “But can you please turn around and cuddle me?” 

I yawned and rolled over to face him. I opened one eye and saw him smiling softly at me “Thank you.” He said.

I smiled back and closed my eyes as he laid his head on my chest. I happily wrapped my arms around him. 

“I missed you.” He whispered, tightening his arms around my waist.

“Me too. So much.” I replied, sleepily. Sleep easily taking over.

I woke up with the feeling of someone caressing my cheek softly. I smiled before opening my eyes at the feeling of Elvis’ hand on my cheek. 

“Good morning.” He whispered and kissed my lips. 

“Good morning.” I replied and opened my eyes to see him propped up on his elbow, looking down at me with admiration “You’re up before me.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep anyway.” He replied.

“How come?”

He shook his head and shrugged. 

“I hate that I haven’t been seeing you the past few days.” I pouted slightly. 

“I know.” He sighed and leaned down to kiss me again. His eyes roamed my face, it was as if he was taking me in for the first time. I felt my skin tingle at his lingering gaze. I did the same, letting my eyes fully take him in, I raised my hand and cupped his cheek. 

His thumb pulled on my lower lip, his eyes zeroing in on my lips, I could hear his breathing increase. 

“How do you still make my heart beat so fast.” He whispered. 

I gulped, emotions gushing out of me. I blinked back tears, feeling overwhelmed. 

Did he feel the same way I felt when I looked at him? Does he feel the same peace, safety and love I did whenever he’s around? 

He kissed me once again tenderly, it felt very different than our usual passionate kisses. I could recall the exact times he’s kissed me so tenderly and gently. The first time was after our fight in Hawaii on the beach, the second was a few nights ago after I made the decision to stay instead of going to New York and the third time is right now. 

He sighed against my lips, his thumb continued to caress my cheek softly.

Elvis broke the kiss and nuzzled his face into my neck and hugged me tight.

“What do you have planned for today?” I asked him, running my nails up and down his bare back. He loved back and head scratches. 

“Multiple meeting with daddy and the colonel. Dad wants to discuss finances… ugh.” Elvis mumbled against my neck.

I pouted, halting the back scratches “So I won’t see you today?” I asked, sadly. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered and planted a kiss on my neck. 

“It’s okay. I just miss you.” I replied, not wanting him to feel guilty for doing his job.

We kept cuddling for a while until Elvis said he had to go meet with his father and the Colonel. 

It officially has been a week of rarely seeing Elvis. I guess I’m one of those clingy girlfriends now. But we don’t even talk right now, we see each other for a few minutes during the day. He’s been very busy understandably but I do feel like he’s being distant and I’m not sure if it’s just me overthinking or he’s genuinely very busy. I just really miss him. The past four months have been the best, we spent every second together even when he was working we still found time to spend it with one another. 

I helped Joe and his wife set up for their kid’s birthday party that was held in Graceland. We’d been running around, putting up decorations and candy and arranging play areas. The best part of the party was the huge inflatable slide Elvis requested for the kids as a birthday present along with paying for the whole party. Everyone wanted to get on the slide especially the adults. It was appealing to all the masses. 

The kids ran over to me once they spotted me standing by the popcorn machine. 

“Jess! Play with us!” Ethan, one of the boys yelled. 

“You guys go ahead! You have lots of entertainment this time.” I told them, popping popcorn in my mouth. I recalled when we played hide and seek, I was doing that to get them outside so that Elvis can record. 

“Play with us!” They yelled.

“Please play with us, Jess.” Sofia pouted. 

I sighed and placed my small popcorn on the table “Let’s play musical chairs!” 

The kids cheered and ran towards the play area we had set up with chairs. I pulled the chairs to the middle with the help of the kids and stood with them. 

Grace took control of the music.

We started playing, the number of chairs getting smaller and smaller as we did. I was having so much fun with the children that it took my mind off of not seeing Elvis all day. Even right now, he was late to the party. It was down to Ethan and me with one chair left.

“Ethan!” I yelled, laughing once he shoved me to sit on the chair. 

“Loser!” I heard Elvis yell. I gasped and turned to see him standing next to Grace with a huge grin on his face. 

“Asshole.” I mouthed to him and laughed when he gasped and placed a hand over his chest in mock hurt. 

“Loser! Loser!” Ethan mocked.

“Hey, you pushed me!” I poked his cheek. Ethan squirmed away, laughing as he ran towards the slide. 

“Hey you.” I smiled, walking over to Elvis.

“Hey.” He smiled “I wish I could kiss you right now.” He whispered.

“That can be arranged.” I winked. 

Elvis grinned and pointed to the inflatable slide “I really wanna get on that thing.”

“Me too. Let’s go throw some kids down the slide.” I smirked “First to go is Ethan.” I joked.

“Still bitter about losing musical chairs to a kid?” Elvis teased.

“Very bitter. He cheated.” I narrowed my eyes. 

“Race you! Last one there has to give the other person a foot massage!” Elvis yelled, sprinting towards the slide.

“Cheater!” I yelled, running after him. 

We held hands as we looked down the slide. I turned my head and looked at him, he had a huge smile on his face. Maybe I was overthinking it. 

Elvis squeezed my hand “You ready? We’re gonna jump.”

“I’m not jumping!” I frowned, that was way too scary. 

“Come on.” Elvis laughed “I’ll hold your hand the entire time, baby.”

“The things you make me do.” I huffed “Okay.”

Elvis laughed and started the countdown to three. On the count of three Elvis and I had a small head start and launched ourselves down the slide. I gripped his hand tightly, shrieking as we slide down the slide with Elvis’ childlike laughter in the air. 

“Holy crap. That was fun.” I giggled.

“I told you.” Elvis grinned and kissed my cheek. 

The night was winding down, most opted to leave as their kids were knocked out after their sugar crash and running around all day in the sun. The guys gathered around the fire pit, drinking beer and talking. I kind of stood a bit further away, looking at the stars, thinking about nothing but also my mind drifted back to the interview that I haven’t called to tell them my decision yet. I had exactly 1 week till the interview. I was feeling guilty for not calling them to cancel but something in the pit of my stomach told me not to. 

“Hey.” Grace smiled walking up to me “What’s going on in that head of yours?” 

“Nothing.” I smiled and looked towards the guys. My eyes finding Elvis who sat playing with the Pepsi in his hand. 

“Why does Elvis look sad?” Grace asked me.

“You notice that too?” I asked her. So, I wasn’t the only one who noticed it “He was fine earlier, he was laughing and horsing around with the others but I don’t know. He says he’s tired.” 

“Is something going on with you two?” she asked.

“No.” I shook my head, as far as I know we’re doing great but his busy schedule kept us apart this week “But he has been very quiet lately. Distant maybe. And all he wants is for me to hold him or cuddle him. I honestly don’t know what’s up with him and every time I ask he just says he’s tired or frustrated from work.” 

“Huh.” Grace said, her eyes on Elvis “Did you tell him about your interview?”

“No.” I frowned, shaking my head “I want to stay here. I wanna be with him, Grace.”

“Okay, good. Because I want you to stay here, I can’t imagine not having you around.” Grace grinned and hugged me. I chuckled and wrapped my arms around her, squeezing her into me. 

I spotted Elvis getting up and retreating to the house. After bidding a goodnight to Grace, I headed towards the house. 

“Hey handsome.” I smiled, walking into Elvis’ bedroom. I finally had him for the night after a week of only seeing him for fleeting moments. We had the full night together and it was still pretty early. 

“Hi sweetheart.” He smiled softly and wrapped his arms around my waist. 

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. I soaked him in, my eyes roaming over his face. He seemed sad again, his soft smile not really reaching his eyes. 

“Are you okay? You seem sad.” I whispered, trailing my hand up his neck and into his hair “Did something happen? You were fine today.”

“Just tired. The party made me relax a bit.” Elvis sighed and pulled me into a tight hug, nuzzling his face into my neck.

“Are you sure?” I asked, rubbing his back comfortingly. He wasn’t being fully honest with me, something was clearly bothering him.

“Yeah.” He said and pulled back from my neck to kiss my lips “I missed you so much.” He sighed against my lips. 

I kissed his lips, playing with the hair at his nape. He kissed me softly, gripping my waist tightly. Elvis moved towards the bed and laid me down gently on the mattress, keeping our lips connected. I sighed, happily into his mouth. Elvis pulled away and removed his shirt, throwing it to the side. 

He looked down at me with a little smile “You’re so beautiful, baby.”

I smiled and sat up, reaching to run my hands down his chest. He gripped my hand and pulled it up to his lips, planting a kiss on the top of my hand. Elvis then reached down and pulled my dress up and off of my body, leaving me in a bra and panties. 

Elvis licked his lips and reached over to unclasp my bra. His mouth immediately attached to my nipple. I moaned, arching my back as he sucked and nibbled on my nipple. 

“Such perfect tits.” He mumbled. 

I chuckled and shoved my hands into his hair. 

Elvis continued kissing down my stomach and suddenly, he ripped my lace panties off. I gasped, looking at him with wide, turned on eyes. He looked up at me and smirked. He gripped my legs and kissed inside my thigh. I could feel his breath on my pussy. I moaned and edged slightly forward. Elvis placed his palm on my stomach to stop me from moving. 

“Hold on, baby.” He chuckled and planted a kiss on my pussy before licking up my wet folds. I moaned, throwing my head back against the mattress. 

“A week was too long.” I said. 

“Way too long. You are so fucking wet.” He said and sucked on my clit. 

I grunted and gripped his hair tightly “Please.”

I pulled his head back, he looked at me with a confused look on his face “I want to see your face.” I huffed, out of breath. 

“Honey, we’ve got all night. Relax. I’m taking my time with you tonight.” Elvis smirked and went back to eating me out. 

Elvis continued licking and sucking as the orgasm hit me. I moaned, gripping his hair and tightening my thighs around his head. He climbed back up my body, his face glistening with my wetness. He kissed my lips and I could taste Pepsi and me on his mouth, turning me on even more. 

I pulled on his jeans and popped his button off before pulling his zipper down. I wasted no time seizing his cock in my hand. He grunted against my lips as I stroked him up and down. He pulled away and in one fell swoop he pulled his boxers and jeans off. He hovered over me once again, guiding his cock to my entrance and stroked my clit with his tip. His fingers dug into my hip as he eased himself into me, both of us moaning as he did. I gripped his shoulders tightly as he buried himself deep inside me. 

He took a breather, looking down at me.

“Why are you stopping?” I asked, panting.

“I need to fully take you in. Every second. Every pump. I want you to feel all of me.” He whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. Elvis licked his lips, his eyes roaming all over my face and body “I want to have a mental image of you like this in my head.” 

“I need you.” I whimpered when he kept staring at me. I moved back and forth to get him to move. 

“Okay, needy.” He chuckled softly, again his chuckle did not reach his eyes. He pulled back before thrusting back inside of me, deep in my core. Every time, he would pull completely out and slam back into me, both of us moaning.

I clenched my eyes shut, moaning loudly. 

This time felt different, like he wanted to memorized me inside and out. He kissed and licked every inch of my body like a starved dog, starved for me. And he was taking his sweet time, thrusting fully into me and pulling completely out. It felt desperate and needy but passionate and loving. 

My hands slid from his shoulders to his arms, my eyes still screwed shut. I felt something wet drip on my cheeks and forehead. I frowned and opened my eyes to see Elvis with tears dripping down his face. 

“Hey! What’s wrong?” I cupped his cheeks. Elvis stopped moving and let out a sob “Elvis. What?” My heart raced as I took in his face. 

Elvis sobbed and fell into my arms, clutching me tightly. 

“Honey, please tell me what’s wrong?” I asked frantically, holding him in my arms as he sobbed into my neck. 

“Please don’t leave me.” He whimpered against my neck.

“What?” 

He continued to sob, his arms wrapped tightly around me. I kept holding him, not really knowing what to do or what to say. I knew he wasn’t okay, I knew he was sad about something but I have no idea what about. And he wouldn’t tell me. I could feel his tears on my neck and shoulder. It was breaking my heart, I’ve never seen him cry like this not even when I came back from the hospital. 

“I’m not gonna leave you, Elvis. I’m right here.” I told him. He pulled out of me but remained in my arms. 

Slowly, his sobs hushed down. I kept rubbing his back to comfort him which was the least I could do. Just to be there for him through whatever he was going through. But why would he say “Please don’t leave me.”. I wasn’t going to leave him, I would never leave him. I love him. I don’t know how long we stayed laying there but I kept my arms wrapped around him and once his breathing changed and his arms loosened, I finally felt slightly at ease now that he wasn’t crying. However, I couldn’t shut my brain off. For a whole week he’d seemed upset but I barely had any time with him so that I could fully understand what was wrong. 

I planted a kiss on his head, my own eyes filing with unshed tears. I always cried whenever someone cries, if the reason is actually upsetting but seeing Elvis like this just shattered me. Just seeing someone you love so much, suffering in silence. Why wouldn’t he talk to me about it? 

It took me a while until I finally fell asleep, I had no idea when sleep took over but by the time I woke up the bed was empty. I frowned and frantically got out of bed, looking for Elvis.

I tip toed down the stairs in yesterday’s clothes, being careful not to bump into anyone. I headed towards my bedroom and changed into new clothes.The house was too quiet, no one was here. I spotted Martha in the kitchen.

“Good morning.” I smiled at her.

“Good morning, Jess.” She smiled back as she plated some scrambled eggs “I made you some eggs.”

“Oh, thank you.” I wasn’t really up to eating anything, my stomach felt uneasy “Is Elvis here?”

“You just missed him, honey,” 

Shit. I had to wait to see him. It seemed like I was barely needed recently. As an assistant I was always with the guys wherever they go but nowadays I didn’t even know what they were doing. I know he’s busy with contracts and meeting up with RCA for the new album but I wasn’t aware of Elvis’ full schedule like usual. 

I couldn't sit here all day waiting for him, I was confused and I needed to get my mind off of Elvis. I ate some of the scrambled eggs just for Martha’s troubles of making me some eggs and left to go meet up with Janice at the diner since I cancelled our previous plans because of Matt. 

“Hey.” I smiled, plopping down on the stool.

“Hey girly.” Janice smiled behind the counter, pouring coffee into the mug and pushed it towards me “You look like you need this.”

“Even with makeup?” I groaned, I had put on some concealer when I inspected the bags under my eyes. 

“Yes.” Janice chuckled “What happened?”

“Nothing. I wanna take my mind off of things.” 

“Is it Elvis?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yeah.” I sighed and took a sip of the hot black coffee “He’s being weird and distant. I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Have you asked him about it?”

“Of course! But I don’t know maybe it’s not about me. Maybe there’s something else going on but he’s not telling me.” 

“I mean he is crazy about you, that’s obvious. So, maybe there is something else going on.” Janice replied. 

I sighed, looking down at my mug. Elvis and I needed to talk about it, this can’t go on like this. Not communicating or not telling one another what’s bothering us. 

After spending some time with Janice at the fairly empty diner, I decided to head home once more people started coming into the diner and it got crowded which meant Janice had to get back to work. I couldn’t sit still the entire day, I walked around the stables and passed by the horses. I chose to spend more time with Rising sun even though he threw me off his back but there were no hard feelings. I still wanted to learn how to ride a horse, that didn't change. However, I have no clue how I would feel once I actually was on the horse, would I be too scared? Only time will tell and Elvis would be there to guide me through it. I confidently stated that in my head but right now that confidence was wavering. The pit in my stomach that formed last night only worsened as the day went on and my mind raced with different scenarios.

I sat down in the little spot Elvis and I always loved siting at under a tree where we would have our usual picnics and just let the sun shine down on me as I waited for Elvis to get back. I had no idea when they were getting back but I hoped it wasn’t late at night. 

Lost in thought, I didn’t hear the mafia’s cars rolling in until I heard loud talking and laughter. I turned my head spotting a somber looking Elvis get out of the car and quickly walked into the house. He then turned around and dismissed them before continuing to walk into the house, they all looked at each other in confusion but piled back into the cars and pulled out.

I quickly headed towards the house once all the cars pulled away. I rushed up the stairs and knocked softly on Elvis’ door. 

“Yes?” He called out.

I took a deep breathe and walked in “Hey.” I gave him a small smile but he didn’t turn around. He was standing by his bed, his back facing the door. 

He ran a hand through his hair “Hey.”

“Can we talk… about what happened last night?” I asked, shutting the door gently behind me.

“Yes. We need to talk.” He sighed and turned to face me.

“Okay, let’s talk. What’s going on Elvis?” 

“I don’t think whatever this is is working.” Elvis said, not really looking me in the eyes. 

I took a step back, my eyes widening as I took in what he just said. It really took me by surprise. 

“What?” I whispered. This is not happening.

“Jess, I don’t think this is working. Even you as my assistant. We’ve should’ve never mixed business with pleasure.” He shrugged.

I couldn't breathe. The man that I had gotten to love so much was right in front of me telling me that he no longer wanted me. 

“Elvis.” I whispered, my eyes already filling with unshed tears.

“I’m sorry Jess.” He sighed “You need to go.”

“This is coming out of nowhere.” I said “What happened? What changed?” I asked him.

“Nothing. I’m bored.” He replied. 

I could literally hear my heart cracking down the middle. 

“I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t believe what?” Elvis scoffed. 

“I don’t believe that this was nothing to you. There’s no way. After everything we’ve gone through the past 2 years. I do not believe what you’re saying at all, Elvis.” I clenched my jaw, refusing to let my tears roll down my face. 

He can not get me to believe what we had was nothing. All those late night, all those conversations, all those little dates. I don’t believe him for a second. He was scared. He was scared of what he was feeling and he’s trying to run away.

“Don’t do that.” I growled “You’re scared because you know you’re falling for me.”

“God you’re so pathetic, Jess.” He spat out, chuckling with no humor behind his laugh “Are you that desperate for love?”

I let out an audible breath. He’s calling me pathetic? 

“You were convenient.” He growled, walking closer to me “It was nothing but sex. It was easy, you live under my roof. It was the best case scenario.”

I scoffed and shook my head, he was throwing my words back at me. I asked him this exact question when we were in Hawaii “Was I just convenient?”  and he got offended when I had. 

“What changed then?” I asked quietly. 

“I’m bored. I need something new.” He replied.

“You were literally crying in my arms last night, begging me not to leave you.” 

“That wasn’t about you!” He growled “Very big headed of you to think that everything is about you.”

“Stop lying to me!” I yelled. 

“God you turned out to be like every other girl I had slept with. We never agreed that this was something more. Why are you looking for something more from someone who doesn't want you?” He growled, stepping even closer to my face. His face was red but I don’t know if it was from anger or something else. We were a few inches away from one another. 

However, he was right we never specified what this was. We never put a label on it and we never told one another how we felt but actions speak louder than words. He didn’t have to utter the words for me to feel so loved and looked after. I always made sure to show him how I felt rather than saying the words. In my mind I knew this would happen based on his track record but I guessed I would be different, I listened to my heart rather than my brain. 

“I need you out by tomorrow morning, Jess.” He sighed and stepped back. 

I gulped, not being able to speak anymore. I wanted to scream and yell. I did not believe a word he was saying, it was like my mind was refusing to acknowledge his words. I saw how panicked he was when we fought in Hawaii, when he thought he was going to lose me. 

Was that just an act? Was all of it just an act? 

It was now making sense to me why I was so reluctant and scared to tell him I loved him and how I chose not to cancel my interview that is exactly a week from now. Thank god my instincts took over that decision. 

“I’ll pay for whatever you need. If you need a place to stay, I can pay for it.” He said. 

“I don’t want your money. Fuck you, Elvis.” I hissed, tears finally rolling down my face. I rushed out of his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me. 

As I descended down the stairs I heard something crash and the sound of glass breaking coming from Elvis’ room but I kept going. 

The moment I launched myself on my bed, I sobbed hysterically. I didn’t know what to think or do. I cried for hours. Grieving the loss of Elvis, the man I thought I loved. Who I do love, who I thought was the one. I was about to give up my whole life to be with him. It hurt knowing it was nothing to him, that I was nothing to him. He not only ended things with me but he also fired me and kicked me out. 

Losing Elvis also meant I also lost this found family that I had over the past two years, the guys, Grace, Martha. I should’ve never started this with Elvis. Never. I knew it would come to bite me but it was worse. He made me fall in love with him only to shatter my heart in pieces. I’ve never experienced this type of pain, not with any of my ex boyfriends. 

With great loves come great pain. I heard that somewhere but now those words make sense to me.

After crying for hours I got up and started packing my bags. Tears streaming down my face as I did, no longer sobbing hysterically but still had tears in my eyes. I wiped my face and went to the storage room that had used empty boxes and just started packing the clothes I’ve accumulated for the past 2 years. I had to start over. I needed to book a flight to New York, look for a place to stay and buy new furniture that I got rid off once I got this job and found out I had to stay in Graceland. 

I booked the earliest flight to New York with two big bags and two medium size boxes. I left the cowboy hats and boots that Elvis got me behind. I took the pictures I had up on my mirror of Elvis and I on Rising sun that Grace took and shoved them into the drawer. I took one last look at those pictures and cried once again before slamming the drawer shut.

The sun was already out and shining, I had three hours to my flight. I pulled my suitcase up the stairs to see Jerry and Vernon.

“Hi sweetheart.” Vernon smiled gently and pulled me into his embrace “I’m sad to see you go but Elvis said you don’t want to be here anymore.” 

I gulped, choosing not to say anything.

“Thank you for everything Vernon.” I whispered.

“Please keep in touch.” Vernon squeezed my shoulder.

“Of course.” I smiled. 

“Let me help you with your bags.” Jerry said and dashed down the stairs to bring the rest of my stuff. 

“Does Grace know?” I whispered, standing by Jerry by the trunk as he loaded my bags into his car.

“No. Elvis called me early morning to help you with your things. She was still asleep.” Jerry replied, slamming the trunk of his car shut.

I took a deep breath and looked around the place I called home for the past couple of years. My eyes trailed up the house and to Elvis’ bedroom window to see a pair of ocean blue eyes looking back at me. We stared at each other for a second before I turned around and got into the passenger side of the car next to Jerry.

“If you don’t have a place to stay, you can stay at our place. We would love to have you.” Jerry said.

“No, that’s okay. I’m heading for the airport.” I replied.

“What?” Jerry looked at me with wide eyes “You’re not staying in Memphis?”

“No.” I shook my head “Say bye to the guys, I’m really sorry that I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to them. Also Grace, I love her. She’s like a sister to me. I’ll make sure to call her once I get to New York.” I replied.

“Jess.” Jerry sighed and shook his head “What the heck did Elvis do? Why are you leaving?”

“He fired me, Jerry.” 

“There’s no way. I’ve seen how Elvis looks at you, I know that you guys have been together for a few months and that’s the happiest I’ve ever seen this man. I never thought he’d recover when he lost his mom but then you came along.” 

I bit down on my lip, tears in my eyes “I don’t know Jerry and honestly I don’t care. I just wanna get out of here please.” I sighed and turned to look out of the window. 

I cried silently the whole way to the airport. I hugged Jerry goodbye after he helped me check in my bag.

“I’m really gonna miss you Jess. Please don’t lose contact with us.” Jerry said over my shoulder.

“I would never. You and Grace are like siblings to me, honestly.” I replied. 

Jerry pulled back and placed his hands on my shoulders “I love you.”

My mouth instantly went into a pout, tears filling my eyes “I love you too, Jerry.”

“Are you sure about this?” He frowned looking at the security check line.

“My bags are already on their way to the plane.” I choked, wiping my tears. I really needed to stop crying now. I hated crying in public. 

“We can still head back to my house.” He told me.

“I’m okay, Jerry. This has been my dream for a long time. I’m fulfilling my dreams.” I said, having no confidence in my words. Things change.

Once I got on the plane I thought of everything. This decision was spontaneous but I do have enough money saved up, enough to stay in a hotel room till I could find an apartment. I had a good feeling about the job, I knew I was more than qualified. I could always move back in with my parents if I don’t get the job but I didn’t think about that. 

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