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#again I am a bit upset with the ending but
b4ddprincess · 11 hours
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I hope that everyone who reads this feels a little bit of peace of mind. I know how unbearable it is to want to have the life of your dreams right now! That anxiety and despair won't help at all. Nor will continuing to do what doesn't resonate with you, seeing countless success stories and each time trying to do the same as them. It's always like that, right? That's what most of us do, it's like being in a loop, I say this because this year I became pure consciousness several times while trying to induce it, whether through lucid dreams, sleeping affirming, some of the times I just came out of the state of pure consciousness without affirming anything because I felt so peaceful (and it didn't last long either).
Exactly 4 days ago I almost to induce pure consciousness again while listening to this audio that leaves me super relaxed
https://youtu.be/DMQjwuU_4c4
(not that to induce pure consciousness you need something like that, just relax your body and take your focus off thoughts related to anxiety, just relax)
and I relaxed so deeply, I relaxed my body and mind while daydreaming but as soon as I started to feel the symptoms it was so intense, like falling, spinning and being sucked at the same time. and I focused so much on the symptoms that I ended up losing focus and consciousness returned to 3D.
but I remembered when I was a beginner in all this and I read a blog (if I find the link I'll put it here for you)
https://at.tumblr.com/princess200417/697183954837569536/h6gg9e7y98bg
in which the blogger said the following
"Sit down or lay down in the most comfortable position to you
Start breathing in and out slowly and imagine/picture a black space or a black hole or just a black image in general ,so this can help you in feeling closer to void (ofc it's not necessary)
Now start AFFIRMING I'm void or any other blanket void affirmation/affirmations of your personal preference"
She also said to make affirmations during the day, such as "Void is instant easy and simple ," "I am God," and I remembered that when I did this for the first time, I was a little sleepy. All I did was read this blogger's post again, lay down, and close my eyes. I didn't think about anything. All I did was affirm without forcing myself. The symptoms were so intense. However, I wasn't anxious or desperate.
So, I didn't care about the symptoms. I kept affirming. I remember that the way I induced pure consciousness was so fast. I just hadn't affirmed anything because there was nothing I wanted to manifest. Then I just affirmed that I was going to go out, and when I did, I realized that I was still asleep. Then I woke up. Some time later, I did it again and manifested that I was going to pass a very important test for me. And guess what? I passed all the tests.
And now remembering this I feel upset with myself, for having consumed too much and having let things get out of control and become a little difficult. Until a while ago I was telling myself that I would manifest my dream life, but I was always putting it off until tomorrow and it was always like that, 5 months went by while I was procrastinating. Now I realized how much time I wasted, and I feel upset with myself. But I remembered that I have already induced pure consciousness, what is getting in my way is despair and anxiety, but now I will control this and manifest my dream life, I will send you my success story very soon :)
I hope this is like a little warning to everyone who is on this journey, I know that everyone's circumstances may be as difficult as mine, but never give up. Try to stop this despair, focus on who you are. You are gods, the co-creator of your own reality, don't give up and don't put off until tomorrow what you can and have the power to do today!!!
congrats on inducing pure consciousness and passing your exams!! it may not be your dream life, but hey! you still have a testimony to share, and ik you'll share your dream life testimony soon!! 💗💗
just apply your reminders, and ik i'll see your next success story! don't stress urself either! 💞
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gothushi · 1 day
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pairing: simon x f!reader
warning: angst, physical alteration, mention of blood, creampie
note: went in a bit of a different direction for this request but i’m quite happy with the angst of it. this is kinda tame though, i wanna do this idea again but more… nasty… dirty…
word count: 4.2k
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He’d just helped Brendan Brady clean up a dead body, and now he has to deal with you showing up to his motel room? How did you even find him? The dim lamp on the side table illuminates his frustrated face.
“What the fuck am I gonna do if Brendan sees you?”
“I’m tired of you letting this consume you, Simon, I want you to come home.”
“Come home? Abandon my entire case?” His brows furrow, obviously hating the idea. He’s done all this so far, why stop now?
“This is going too far, Simon. Is this what you want? Is all this seriously going to make you happy in the end?” You retort, stood by the bed. The ugly red walls hurt your eyes, a musty smell coming from the room.
Simon huffs out a frustrated sigh, throwing his hands up in a ‘what do you want me to do’ motion.
“This is what I want, Y/N. It’s what I have to do. I’m so close to bringing him down once and for all, you have to see that! If I stop now, all my work so far will be for nothing.”
He takes a few steps closer to you, his brows turning up slightly as his voice drops. “Don’t you want me to finish it?”
“Don’t do that.” You snap, pointing accusingly at him. “You know I was all for you doing this. Don’t you dare try to make me feel bad here. I wanted you to finish this, but that was before I knew how absolutely ruined of a person it would make you.”
A scowl forms its way onto his face. He scoffs, turning his head from your gaze. “Ruined.” he repeats, shaking his head. “You think I’m ruined?”
His blues shoot back to you, taking another step closer. His anger and defense is starting to build, something he isn’t used to projecting onto you. “I’m still the same bloke. I just-.. I just have to go further than I originally thought I would. That’s all.”
“Look at yourself, Simon.. really.” You mutter, “You said you’d be home months ago. This is turning you into-.. something you’re not. Someone I don’t recognize.”
Simon has to hold back a groan when you bring up his previous promise, his expression hardening. He shakes his head, he really doesn’t want to hear any of this.
“You don’t get it, love. You don’t know what I have to do. And you never will.”
“And I’m scared I never will because you won’t end up coming home.” You bite back, your throat tightening with welling up emotion, staring up at him.
His face falters, seeing just how upset you’re coming off. He can’t show vulnerability though, not now. Not when he’s built this up for so long.
“I’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing.” He comes over, standing directly in front of you. “Why can’t you just trust me?”
It’s your turn for your brows to furrow now, “Trust you? Don’t pull that- not when I do trust you with my entire life. But I miss the man I’m in love with. I don’t see him here anymore.”
Simon’s quiet for a moment, looking down at you with a mixture of frustration and pain. He runs a hand over his face, jaw clenching.
“I can’t afford to be that man right now. Can’t you just let me finish this?”
“No,” you whisper, staring up at him with a shake of your head, “I-.. I can’t. I can’t just watch you turn into this-.. this. Just to lock him up? He’s ruining you, Simon.”
Those cold blues narrow at your refusal. He grits his teeth, all that built up anger he’s been collecting for months bubbling up.
“If that’s what it takes to get him in handcuffs, then so be it, I don’t care!” His hands rake through his hair, irritated. “You’re not making this any easier, y’know. Coming here and trying to stop me.”
“I didn’t come here just to try and stop you.” Your tone dips lower, almost remorseful. “I came here to give you a choice.”
“Me, or Brendan.”
Simon is silent for a heartbeat before his expression morphs into incredulous anger. “You’re giving me an ultimatum?” He scoffs a laugh.
“Yes! I am. Me. Or him. Because by the time you’re done with him-... I won’t still be here with open arms.” You swallow, avoiding looking directly at his face for now.
His thoughts are racing, processing what you just said. If you weren’t still home when he finally came back.. thoughts of an empty house plague his mind. The thought of returning to find your things gone, no trace of you-
That anger in his veins ignites ten fold, stepping right into your personal space. “You’re telling me I have to choose?”
“Maybe I should have found you months ago.” You sniff, looking up at him. “Maybe then you wouldn’t be so angry-.. the man I know wouldn’t even hesitate to side with me.”
“I can’t just choose you.”
His voice is nearly strained. It’s not what he wants to say, but he needs to finish this, he needs to bring Brendan down. Right?
You feel tears brim your eyes, afraid that was the answer you’d receive. Looking down at your hands, you take a deep breath before returning your gaze to his face. “Okay. Guess I’ve got my answer then.”
It nearly pains him, to watch you tear up like that, as if he wants nothing more than to pull you closer against him and comfort you.
But the anger is still there.
“Stop it with the tears. Don’t. Why are you putting me in this position, making me choose?”
“Why are you acting like it’s a difficult choice?” You bark back, voice wavering. You may be devastated, beyond torn up, but you’re also angry.
A scoff escapes Simon.
“You have no idea what it’s like!” He snaps, exasperated. “What I’ve had to do, what I have to deal with just to get closer to him-”
“I may not know what it’s like but I can see the way it’s tearing you apart! I can’t just sit back and watch you be torn apart by him!” You don’t back up physically, nor mentally. You won’t back down.
That stubborn and resilient side is what he fell in love with, and now all it does is piss him off. “You just don’t understand! You think I’m so weak, that I can’t handle this, that I’m broken or something- I’m fine!”
That yelling only fuels your emotions, your upset. Before you know it, your palm is stinging with the contact against his cheek in a hard slap.
The sound ricochets off the glaring walls, his head snapped to the side. Slowly, he turns to look at you, a ruddy red blooming over his skin. He looks absolutely pissed, brows hardened, eyes cold, and he doesn’t hesitate for a single moment to shove you against the wall, pinning you there with a hand on your shoulder and his forearm across your chest.
The action pulls a gasp from you, arms pressing on his to try and shove him off. You’re not weak by any means, but overall strength, Simon has you beat. His eyes lock with yours, staring down at you.
“I don’t care how upset you are. You don’t hit me, ever again. Understood?”
You groan, “Well if this isn’t the most emotion you’ve shown me in months.” You grumble, trying to shove at him.
An annoyed scoff is pulled from him, breath hinted with cigarette smoke. “You wanted me to react, is that it?”
“Yes! Dammit!” You cry back, eyes bleary with tears. “I want anything other than you having some sick obsession with Brendan!”
“It’s not an obsession, Y/N. He’s nearly destroyed my life, and I need to be the one to end him.”
“What’s left of your life is sat in the hospital!” You snap, throat straining with the yell. “Not here!”
The mention of his poor, coma-ridden little brother immediately causes his anger to boil over. His strength urges you against the wall more. “Don’t bring Cam into this!”
Your head knocks into the wall, groaning out a pained noise. It all happens quickly, before you even realize what you’re doing. Your hand reaches for the dinky lamp on the table beside you both, slamming it against the side of his head. The shitty porcelain shatters with a high noise, and then your hands are pushing on his chest, and an altercation breaks out within the blink of an eye.
With a growling noise, Simon grabs your arms, his fingers wrapping around them like a vice. In an instant, he has you bent over the shitty bed, wrists pinned behind your back. A grunt sounds from you. Unfortunately for him, he had spent months teaching you self defense moves. He insisted on it actually, for your own safety.
You kick a leg up between his thighs, using the way he almost doubles over to then kick on his stomach, sending him away from you. A pained noise comes from his throat, not giving himself the chance to recover before he lunges for you again. Using his own momentum to your advantage, you side step and shove him in the direction of the wall. Your hands are grabbing onto each other, hitting, as his weight crushes the small table he lands against. The wood splinters and you both tumble to the floor, trying to pin his arms.
Even with the wind being knocked out of him, he’s still got the advantage. Despite a fist to the face, his own retaliates, hitting somewhere on you, before flipping you over, holding you down with his weight.
Thudding to the floor with a whine, you feel wood pressing into your leg, your hands pinned. You don’t fight anymore, already tired with your heart pounding in your ears. Blood leaks from your lip, and there’s a stinging on your right palm, probably from the lamp.
You look up at Simon with lidded, wet eyes.
He’s staring down at you, breathing heavy with anger, frustration, and helplessness. His blues dart to your lip, then back to your eyes. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
“Why’d you come here?”
You swallow, panting out a breath as you shift under him, wincing.
“Because I love you.”
He falters. He truly falters finally at those words. It’s not the first time you’ve said them, but this feels different. Like a last effort.
His grasp on your arms lessens, just slightly.
Sniffling, hot tears roll down your temples and into your hairline.
“Simon, I love you, dammit.”
The words break through his anger, his frustration, his hurt. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything, just stares. Seeing those tears, the blood on your lip. Seeing the damage he caused.
And he can’t find the words to say.
His expression crumbles, and suddenly Simon looks so weary, so tired. Like there’s so much weighing down on him, weighing down his heart. Because there is.
The air is thick, nearly making it difficult to breathe as you stare up at him. Your eyes dart to his lips, then back up to those blues.
Without a second thought, he releases your arms, letting them go to instead cradle your face. In a matter of a single breath, his lips are crashing against yours, in a hard and desperate kiss.
Your free hands tangle into his dusty brown hair, probably smearing blood on the strands. Melting into the kiss, you match the pure need his actions invoke as your tongues meet.
He lets out a groan, the taste of your blood hitting his tongue, and God he’s not supposed to be enjoying it. He tilts your head with his hand, gripping on your jaw to aid in exploring your mouth, like he’s trying to devour you whole.
A whimper escapes you, panting against his lips for a desperate fill of air. Your hands, albeit trembling slightly, find the zipper of his coat and tug it down. He aids your efforts, sitting up just enough to pull his coat off, tossing it aside somewhere. Diving back down, he continues to kiss you like you’re the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted.
After a moment, Simon pulls back enough to rip your shirt over your head, letting it join his coat, leaving you in just your bra and jeans.
Shuddering at the cold hardwood beneath your sore back, your hands roam his now bare arms, squeezing his muscles and reaching down to grab the hem of his shirt. He now mirrors you, naked on the top half as he leans back down. Instead of kissing you again, his lips find your jaw, then your neck. He presses open mouthed kisses to the sensitive skin there, trailing to your collarbone, before nipping and sucking on that spot.
Your head tosses back, gasping, nearly wheezing for air as you scramble for the buckle on his belt. Your hands are shaking too much to get it right away, instead feeling too weak to even grab at it properly.
Simon notices, turns his kisses more gentle. You were always his strong one, always the one who supported him. Seeing you like this does something to him, it makes something primal snap inside him. He reaches down for you, grabbing your wrist and pinning it above your head with one hand, using his other one to undo his belt and button.
You interlock your fingers with his, feeling the sting of the cut on your palm. Glancing down with a slight whine, you watch him undo his belt, cheeks flaring with heat in response. Once his jeans are fully undone, your free hand reaches to pull him in for another kiss.
He groans, tongue lapping over yours with a desperate need. His other hand twists and undoes the button on your jeans, yanking the zipper down.
His actions cause a whimper to sound in your throat, hips shifting, canting up towards his hand as you gasp against his lips. “Bed- please-”
He’s not one to deny you that request, not now. He lets go of your hand, blood smeared on his own palm now. That same hand dips under your back, and the other hooks beneath your legs as he stands with you. His lips barely leave yours, not even as he gently lays you down, covering your body with his own. A moan is pulled from you, looping your arms around him in a hug as he cages you against the sheets. Those dusty strands fall around your face, so you reach to smooth them back.
The sight of you under him, the feeling of your body against his, it’s like an addiction that he can’t get enough of, he’s been missing this, and he craves more.
His hands move down your body, brushing along the cup of your bra, shifting his knees wider apart to grind against you.
You choke on a groan as his hips meet yours, the swell of his cock pressing against your cunt, rutting up against him. Leaving his hair, your hands dip behind your now arched back to undo the clasp of your bra, hastily pulling the garment off and tossing it aside.
Those blues dart down to your tits, a big hand coming to grope over them as his lips travel along your neck, back down to the marks he left near your collarbones. The actions make you toss your head back, eyes falling shut, hands grasping at his broad shoulders. They wander wherever you can reach until you decide to squirm and grab the waistband of your jeans, trying to push them down.
Simon pauses his efforts on sucking another hickey on the swell of your breast, instead sitting upright. Hands grab onto your ankles one at a time, tugging your sneakers off, letting them thud to the hardwood before he pulls your jeans and panties off in one go. He takes a moment to just admire you, the blood on your chin, your hand, the softness of your skin, the heaving of your chest. The sight of you, splayed out on the white sheets, cheeks hot, messy hair, it’s like a sight taken from his dirtiest and most yearning dreams.
He takes too long for your liking, even though his strong gaze is enough to make more slick leak from your now exposed cunt. You sit up some, flipping the two of you over so his back meets the bed and you crawl ontop of him. Leaning down, you reciprocate his earlier actions, latching your reddened lips to his neck.
Simon is grasped by a fierce need to touch, to taste, to have. His head tilts back, giving you better access to his neck, letting out a groan at the way your teeth scrape on his skin. You nip and lick, traveling down until you’re kissing over his chest, his abs. Finding his jeans, you mimic his actions from before and tug them down with his boxers, only struggling for a moment to get his boots off which earns a huffed chuckle from him.
No words are shared as you clamber back up his body, settling over his cock to rut down with a whine against his pulse point.
A strangled groan works its way from his chest, hands finding your sides as his knees part. You’re so slick, warm and soft ontop of him, grinding down onto his cock with a desperate need.
“Simon-” You breathe out, something pleading, as your hips roll and your tongue explores more of his neck, up his jaw over a faded bruise he must have got from Brendan.
Simon whines at the sound of his name. He can hardly do anything but tighten his fingers on your sides, pressing into your skin as he cants his hips up into you, the head of his cock pushing between your folds. He runs his hands up along your back. Feeling the skin to skin contact has him groaning in a mixture of need and relief, he hasn’t had this in so long, and he hasn’t realized how badly he’s been craving it.
Nosing at his cheek, you moan loudly against the flushed skin as you spear yourself on his cock. The stretch burns, but that’s what you want, to feel him, the effect he has on you. Your trembling hands find his chest, fingertips pressing into him for support, breath catching in your throat.
“Simon.”
His hands grab onto your hips, trying to ground himself through the pleasure, through the need that’s starting to consume him with the way your pussy grips onto him like a vice. He lets out a whiny, wanton moan. “Fuck- sweetheart..”
You immediately get to work rolling your hips, riding him and burrowing into his neck with hitched breathing. Your hands find the sheets beneath him, thin fabric bunched between your fingers.
Simon tosses his head back, arching up slightly as his strength aids you in grinding back and forth on his dick. He drives his hips up into you, matching your rhythm with panted gasps.
“That’s it- fuck-”
The huskiness of his voice makes your veins flood with more arousal, gasping wildly as you find a steady pace. Your heartbeat can be heard in your ears, muffling out everything other than the slick sounds of your cunt and your whiny moans.
Simon can’t hold back anymore, that broken little whine you let out has him flipping the two of you over again without pulling out. He hides in your neck, whimpering out a moan as he starts to fuck into you.
You yelp, a gasped noise as your arms hug him again. Heated flesh on heated flesh, you feel your sore back get pushed into the bed with every thrust. “Simon!”
With his hands, he pins your own up above your head again, but there’s no anger, no frustration in it, not this time. He feels your fingers interlace as you hold onto his hands for dear life. You have trouble even catching your breath, all of it fucked out of you with his rapid pace. You hook your thighs on his hips, writhing beneath him.
“Simon-!” It comes out as a squealed moan, whiny.
His lips return to yours, muffling your moans. He chest presses flush to your tits, urgently, trying to get as physically close as possible. Simon’s whimpering, like he’s drowning and you’re the one thing keeping him afloat, like he’s been starving for years and you’re the only thing he needs to survive.
A lewd, slick smack sounds for your cunt, arousal leaking down your skin and staining the sheets below your ass. It almost hurts, but you’d rather feel this than the pain you’ve felt for months without him.
All the tension, the cravings, it’s built up over months and you-.. you just need him. You feel emotion tighten your throat. His navel grinds into your clit with every thrust in, whining against your shoulder like he’s on the verge of tears, like he’s finally letting out the pain and loneliness that’s built up over the past months.
Tears are spilling from your eyes before you even know it, arching with a sob. “I love you- Simon-”
That coil is twisting tighter and tighter-
His own eyes grow wet as his hips speed up, rabbiting his cock into you with ferocious want, and the words are spilling out of his mouth suddenly.
“I love you- ah! I love you, sweetheart. I’m so sorry- God, I’m so sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you-”
The coil snaps, right into a million pieces as your orgasm crashes over you. You weep, face hiding against his neck as you writhe under his weight. Your heart is in your throat, lungs crying for air as your cunt tightens on his cock. His hips press flush to yours, balls smacking against your ass as he grinds in deep with a stuttered sob. A whiny groan of a plea, a curse, and then he’s spilling into you.
Simon’s weight drops down onto you, both of you wheezing for air, sniffling, his hips jerking with aftershocks. He turns his head, pressing wet, tender kisses on your cheek.
He feels weak, worn out, but in a way that’s entirely different from what he’s used to these days. He pulls out, flopping down beside you as you swallow the drool in your mouth, interlaced fingers resting on your stomach. Your now free hand finds the top of his head, carding through his hair. He’s practically boneless against the bed, a deep, blissful numbness taking over his entire body. Groaning softly, he lets go of your hand to wrap his arm around you, pulling you against his chest as he lays back.
Tossing a leg over his lap, you blindly pull the duvet up over your bodies, snuggling into his side with a sniffle. Chaste kisses are laid at the base of his neck. He gives you a comforting squeeze, turning to press a kiss at your hairline.
The two of you lay like that in the darkness, the only light coming from the too white bathroom. Your finger draws lines along his collarbone, sniffling every now and then before you speak.
“I’m sorry I came here.. I just-.. want you home.”
When no words come from him after a breath, you continue. “I just thought-.. maybe if I gave you a choice, it’d work.”
A sigh escapes him, not an annoyed one, but.. a tired one. His hand drags up and down your back, squeezing you firmly to his chest, like he’s desperate for as much contact as possible. He lays another kiss to your head, before burying his face into your hair and inhaling deeply.
Simon’s voice is slightly hoarse when he speaks. “Okay.”
Your brows furrow, lifting your head to look at him. “What?”
He can’t help but give a watery chuckle, sniffing. “I said okay,” he says, his voice low. “I’ll come home.”
“You-..” You sit up on one elbow, the other hand flat on his chest. “You mean it?”
He nods slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. His other hand reaches up to tuck some hair behind your ear, his brows relaxed and gentle, a resolve in his eyes that wasn’t there before.
“Yeah,” he nods once more. “I’ll come home with you.”
You stare for a moment, as if you don’t believe him. Then, you lean up and capture his lips in a deep, passionate kiss.
It pulls a groan from him, his cock twitching weakly, arms hugging you tightly to his chest. He kisses hungrily, like he wants to convey in his actions how much he’s missed you. He’ll need a lot more time for that though.
The injuries of your fight are a dull pain compared to the warm joy in your chest as you pull back with lidded eyes. “Can we leave.. right now?”
He stares back for a few moments, before whispering. “Yeah,” he murmurs, “right now.”
Getting dressed is a silent task, stepping over the bits of broken table and ceramic. Your clammy skin is chilled by the night air, a harsh breeze blowing past as Simon tugs on his biking globes, helmet tucked under his arm.
The purring of his bikes engine is the sweetest sound you’ve heard in months.
———————♡
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a-toxic-person · 2 years
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Hey y’all 😫 this is just a random post abt my thoughts on the new tokyorev chapters!! (277+)
Ok so. FIRSTLY just wanna say I’m so so soooo happy that all the characters are ALIVE for once like their lungs are working, there r no guns in sight, no holes in Izana’s chest, kakucho is fine, AND MY BB BOY HARU IS ALL GOOD AND NOT A TRUAMATISED LIL PSYCHO 😍 meaning in total everyone is completely fine???
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But now on a more serious note, jumping from Takemitchi’s death straight to around 10 years in the past is a bit wack seeming how Mikey just killed him then instantly regretting it and crying once his emotions came back and the dark impulses weren’t in control, which was a hella big mood swing. I understand that it all happened because of the curse but the way that Takemitchi was all happy and shit right after he went into the past after being killed just doesn’t sit right with me. Like, the way he was just completely fine after was just really weird. Like he was just impaled with a sword, brought back and now everything is peachy???
I feel like what I ‘disliked’ the most other than the fact that all the deaths and previous chapters in the manga have now ‘never happened’ in a sense is what they did to my man naoto 💀
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Like??? WHERE IS SEXY DETECTIVE MAN?? WHY???
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mymarifae · 13 days
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sooooooo when i jokingly said to myself "haha did ruan mei play aeonic necromancy on tingyun's remains or something" i wasn't expecting that to literally be the case what the fuck
#ON ONE HAND! TINGYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ON THE OTHER! HELLO???????????????????????????????????#that was a really good update . a little clunky in those transitions sometimes but ooooh boy that came together GOOD#jiaoqiu nearly sent me into hysterics i was so upset . and flabbergasted. mostly flabbergasted#also the part where hoolay let him go for a little bit and you had the option to try asking for help#with severe consequences to be reaped afterwards. that was so nervewracking#i ended up doing it once out of curiosity and immediately regretted it and was horribly anxious the rest of the time i was running around#and yeah those consequences sure do. Consequence#props to the writers and stuff for that one that was great i felt ill#FEIXIAO... GOD FEIXIAOOOOO OHHHH BOY I LOVE HERRR what a great character#i hoped and i prayed and i dreamed for a deep dive into her condition and not a vague gloss-over as hyv loves to do AND I GOT IT#moze didn't do enough tricks (aka just . being a part of the story and interacting with other characters) for me to care about him still#it's like#the yaoqing trio: yay yahoo yippee WOOOO YAYYYY#moze by himself: closes my eyes forever#DO MORE TRICKS FOR ME#lingsha's pretty cool. i will save her from her bad design#oh oh oh YANQING!!!!!!!!!! USING WHAT JINGLIU TAUGHT HIM AND IMMOBILIZING HOOLAY ALL BY HIMSELF!!!!!! OH YM GOD#MY LITTLE BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that cutscene was terrifying i almost died of stress . i'm so proud of you yanqing. never do that again#i had fun and now it's 3 am and i have work in the morning. help me
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ihamtmus · 4 months
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koushirouizumi · 8 months
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{R.E.B.O.R.N!} ~ Ep. #159 + Y A M A M O T O & T S U N A {80+27}
Bonus:
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{Caps by Me} {DO NOT RE POST} {DO NOT RE PRODUCE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION}
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weidli · 8 months
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okay one of my flatmates is really fucking starting to piss me off lmao
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years
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Sick in the head for the toh crew to have the b plot in elsewhere and elsewhen be clawthorne centric with new lore about them introduced when we didn't even know yet that it thematically connected with the wittebane centric a plot of that episode. Sick in the head
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok i took a nap sorry for miseryposting
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This semester's summary: existential crisis, existential crisis, existential crisis
#ah and 💸💸💸#so im always good in words compared to action so theory is not bad but my skills is lacking#im aware of it but im always a bit slow to catch up and all and that's one of my biggest insecurity#anyway today we had our last review skills session and i was unfortunately standing nearest to the trolley#so i was selected to do the tracheostomy suctioning and boy thats one of the skills that im really bad in#and i was struggling so bad and im shaking and my group has the top students and while i give no fuck you can see how they judge me#and the person in charge for that section is a master student who is having her assessment and i really dont want her to get bad results#so more panic and insecurity#but throughout the session she still guide me patiently and even say like its okay youre doing great and all#and by the end of it i got the grip of it but i was so upset with myself and regret everything#but then she lightly touch my arm and said its okay youre doing really well when i obviously fucked up#and then i just.. cried#what a good thing i wear a mask because two of my course mates are tested positive today because damn#and i keep on pretending to wipe my glasses when i was actually hiding my tears like damn this is embarrassing#but... i really want to thank her personally but i cant even talk just now and i dont even know if i will meet her again#because i really am doubting myself lately and that word is really comforting and i really needed to hear it#god 2nd year sucks i didnt even cry throughout my first year even when i did the worst presentation of my life and look like a dumbass#i always rant here you guys must be sick of me lol#personal.txt
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cosmojjong · 2 years
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gloomy thoughts :(
#debating whether i should retire myself in a bubble for the next two days and cry abt how much i hate time passing#or whether i should be around ppl and talk to friends and not isolate myself#it's been so long and i still have not found a healthy way for myself to wander over this grief#i just don't think i have ever dealt with it healthily and i tend to beat myself up for it too#i've been doing and i do my very best to comfort the friends around me and somehow it is helps even just a little#but i can't do the same for myself#i miss jonghyun a lot every single day and i wonder to which extent it's okay for me to feel this way#sometimes i wonder if i seriously need help and if this is acceptable#i don't know there are many thoughts in my head and i get the feeling that when i managed to get an idea of how big this grief is#it just starts expanding again#it feels like it's never-ending#for the most part i try to make the best out of each day and i am extremely grateful for jonghyun#i'm thankful for everything he did that i can resonate with and for the sensations and feelings i'm able to perceive#i'm thankful that he has been such a big part of my life sometimes even in making wise decisions for my path#i think one of the things that stings most is that i always carry a bit of regret with me#it follows me like a shadow#i have regrets for things i couldn't even control#it makes me quite upset that i sometimes cannot compromise between the good past things and the sad cruel reality of things#and sometimes i'm afraid i may actually never get over this#and it's not that it's unhealthy as in 'this is everything my life is about'#i still try to move forward with my life but there's so much on my plate#and then i think of how i'll never see his face or hear his voice again and it makes me so upset in ways i can't explain#there is so much weight you have to carry in order to move forward when you feel like you can't#it all just isn't fair no matter how much time passes#i'll always feel very conflicted and overwhelmed about it#and this is what i want to work on#but it is not easy#ik i sound literally delusional rn or maybe i do not#who knows
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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Its SO upsetting how often the bad guys don't get to have a lasting turnaround. You see it with random side characters, but c'mon guys. Just let them go to prison for a little while and have them come back. I promise you do not have to kill a character off, or base the character off a real life person, thus narrowing their chances of a return even thinner, while building up the possibility of a comeback. This franchise has cursed me with such lovable characters I'll never see again, and my heart can't keep at it like this.
I'm gonna have to just take that suddenly-dropped-off-a-cliff-storyline into my own hands. Gotta pick up all the slack. They're too good at giving tender, heart wrenching moments to characters we'll never see again. Way too good.
Not sure if you know the streamer Crystal, but her reaction to the ending of 3 was the most extreme I've ever seen. She was full on breakdown sobbing, and even the chat was asking if she was okay. RGG look at the hearts you're breaking out here 🙃 Also, your posts about Mine and that ending are beautiful, and you could talk about it a million times. It'll never get old.
the most egregious- pardon the pun- execution of this trope in rgg games is aoki's death.
like legitimately, his death did not need to happen. the past antagonists you could make a decent point for why their deaths were justified (ryuji's probably being the goofiest ngl) but aoki's felt as though rgg was just checking off a to-do list.
i don't really watch rgg content creators, but if someone could send me a clip of that i'd be down to watch: always a fan of watching people be emo over Y3's ending
and speaking of, thank you i have strong enough mental illness that all i can do is talk about that scene over and over again :)
#snap chats#the worst part is im only partially joking about being mentally ill#like i just think of that one directioner fan being a super fan until they took medication and then they were normal#pretty sure if i did the same I Too would have shut up four months ago but to our benefit/dismay medicine's hard to get so <3#i am simply a dog chasing its tail and by that i mean i will simply talk about mine and y3's ending until i die#or until my mental illness latches onto something else idk#but yeah it sucks dick how rgg does so many great and emotional scenes#but like. we never get to fully see that pay off with characters like mine or aoki#like i want to see them have to face the consequences of their actions- ESPECIALLY mine#mine makes me the most deranged Obviously but i just want to know how daigo would react and treat him#we only get a semblance of how daigo felt after Y3 via the rggo story but its not enough#i want daigo to be upset with mine i want mine to HAVE to work things through with daigo#because unfortunately i dont think daigo would just cut mine off i think he still would try to figure out what the fuck was going on#idk i just need something to happen to mine that crushes him and has him rethink his ways a bit#'crushes' yk like. something beside the pavement---#i wouldnt want him to totally change tho. i like him deranged but just channel that deranged behavior to their benefit#brb thinking about mine saying he wouldnt be acting up if daigo didnt get shot again jesus christ i think of that line every day#OK I HAVE TO GO DO A COMM RN ACTUALLY I'LL BE MENTALLY ILL LATER BYYYE FEEL FREE TO SEND ASKS AND ENABLE ME
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rubiesintherough · 2 months
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raeathnos · 4 months
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#hello hi I am so fucking burnt out 🫠 pls forgive me if I’m inactive for a bit or real fucking weird if I am here#I was supposed to have a 3 day weekend but an hour before I was done it got turned into another 6 day week soooooo 🙃#we had terrible storms yesterday and I worked with no power and then came home to no power (it didn’t come back till 8:40pm hELP)#cat had a vet appointment which ended up being super emotionally draining and upsetting#his heart disease has worsened and he’s on more medication#and though none of these things are ever set in stone it’s looking more and more likely that he won’t live as long as a typical cat#I uh thought I was okay and then just kind of completely broke down sobbing last night#and I can’t really think too hard about it without bursting right back into tears#he’s only 6 and a half and the sweetest cat and it’s not fair#trying to stay positive but I feel so bad for him#gonna love him as much as I can for as long as he’s here which is hopefully still for a long while#it’s not a dire situation it’s just the disease progressing but like it’s still hard#dealing with too much rn#we were expecting the vet bill to be about $400 but then opted to do a few extra things and it pushed it to $750 so ouch#we’re fine we had it saved but you know how it is#he expensive but he’s worth every penny <3#I also injured my knee so that’s fun- tore something in it I think#it’s not as bad as it was but it’s still painful and swollen and hard to bend#my dumbass is going hiking tomorrow despite this because it’s the first weekend that isn’t supposed to rain since like March#so as soon as I get out of work tomorrow I’m fucking off into the woods for a few hours to go be feral#probably bad for the knee but it’ll be good for the mental health#works only a half shiift tomorrow too and I’ll be done in the am so it should still feel like a long weekend#kinda bummed about it still tho#pls stop depending on me to pick up everyone’s slack kthnxbye#I’m so fucking tired 🫠#on the bright side I have next weekend requested off and it’s only gonna be a 4 day work week because of the holiday#there’s a rock and mineral show here next weekend and I am very excited#gonna buy some neat rocks hopefully 👍🏻#and assuming the weather is good next weekend and my knee doesn’t worsen I’m gonna fuck off into the woods again afterwards to be feral#gotta go rot in the woods for a bit to fix the soul; yall know how it is
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comradecowplant · 6 months
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oh boy was having a blast with Nuka-World so far but after 3 hours (PLUS time of the many crashes that are the mind-beleaguering norm with this game) I went to the Galactic Zone from the wrong angle and the vital side quest tied to the main quest was glitched & i had no saves from before entering the cell so I had to start the entire DLC over & the item spawns are a lot worse so far & i love so much how bethesda games continue to Just Work
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ode2rin · 5 months
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new boyfriend rin would never ever, under any circumstance, admit that he likes the pet names you call him. well… unless you would stop doing it. (also me pushing the bffs to lovers pipeline)
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You must be upset with him, Rin is convinced so. It’s the only logical and sensible explanation behind this unusual behavior. 
And he's going mad about it. Itoshi Rin is going mad any second now if he can't get to the bottom of this, he’s certainly convinced.
Every instinct screamed that your recent behavior was a reaction to something he'd done, but what? Was it the late replies to your text messages? No, you knew he was at practice and you told him you didn’t mind. Was it about the souvenir he brought back home to you from Paris? Sure, you teased him about its impracticality, but nothing that warranted this icy distance.
Or maybe it was something he said now? It must be, right? Everything boils down to his reckless poor choice of words, he supposes.
Slowly, Rin approached you by the couch you’re seated in. With your attention preoccupied by the selection of shows you’re browsing, you settled on looking at him briefly through your peripheral vision. Amused by how he’s slightly tiptoeing around, you let out a half-suppressed laugh to yourself. 
He looks like a cat sometimes, you thought from the sight. And acts like one too. Like a big black cat who would hiss at you if you looked at him funny, or one that would bite your hand if you stopped petting him to sleep. Funny how Rin could be like that too.
The moment Rin settles into the plush comfort of the couch, he gazes at you through lowered lashes, trying to read the play of emotions on your face, if there’s any. 
There’s nothing worth noting, and he doesn’t know if that should assure or bother him.
“Are we… alright?” he drawled.
What the fuck. He did not just sound like that. 
He did not just ask that and sounded like an anxious pathetic wet cat who just had a new home waiting for its owner’s permission over anything (highly specific because he’s a bit dramatic). Just what kind of loser have you reduced him into, really.
Oblivious of the internal turmoil in Rin’s mind, you turn to him, “Hmm? Yeah? Why’d you ask?”
“Nothing,” he grumbled. It’s enough that he already humiliated himself for the way he asked if the two of you were cool— doing it again by exposing himself that he thinks you’re mad plainly because he hadn’t heard you call him a pet name (like you always do) would be mortification in its final form.
“Okay, Rin.”
That’s it. This needs to end. Forget humiliation. He would rather choose to feel pathetic over any day than continue with this charade.
“Are you mad at me?” 
“Why would you think that?” you asked back instantly, shocked and extremely confused because of your boyfriend’s question. You’re literally just looking for a movie the two of you can watch— how is that any indication of being mad at him?
“Just answer the question,” he fumed, impatience settling on the furrow of his brows.
You said in the beginning of your relationship that you didn’t appreciate the silent treatment and guessing games, so don’t you think it’s hypocritical of you to do the same to him? (You’re not, but he just doesn’t know that.)
“I’m not mad at you, Rin.”
“You so are!” 
“I am not! But you, yelling and instigating it are making me right now!” you countered, voice hinted with irritation, “What is your problem, Rin?”
There it is again. Rin rose from the couch to face your sitting form, as if standing would better prove his point. “See? You’re calling me Rin!” he blurted.
“Well, maybe because it’s your name?!”
“Not to you, it’s not!”
A beat of surprised silence. Until your lips grew to such a wide smile that made Rin physically feel his heart melting. 
Yet, in Rin’s true fashion, he’ll never let you know how much air you knock out of him because of your beaming smile. Instead, he’ll say something along the snarky lines of, “Stop smiling like that.”
“Did my big bad grumpy Rinnie here thought we’re on a fight because I hadn’t call him baby?” you ask, purposely stressing out the words to disarm him more.
With a feigned exasperation, he comments, “I forgot how annoying you are.” 
“And I forgot how childish you can get sometimes,” you countered.
“I’m not childish.”
“You don’t mind me calling you Rin then?”
Rin rolled his eyes at you, but you know better than to put meaning to it. He lowered himself onto the couch beside you. With a swift tug, Rin pulled you closer, closing the distance between you effortlessly. His arm found its way around your waist, drawing you snugly against his chest.
“But I don’t see why you need to…” Maybe he could be a bit childish.
“I thought you didn’t like it,” you shyly muttered, drawing shapes in his arm. “The pet names, I mean,” you clarified, sensing the confused look he’s probably giving you behind.
“What the hell are you talking about?” He is baby. He is Rinnie. Fucking hell, that’s so loser of him to even voice it out in his own mind. 
“What? You call me by my name!” you defensively pointed out.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t like your nicknames of me,” he mumbled, the words barely audible.
The pet names— they were more than what they served. It was important to him more than what he would admit. 
They were a secret language, a way you marked him as yours. A reminder that he wasn't just Rin anymore— just your friend.
He was now something more, something special.
A ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Besides… I love your name,” he whispered, his voice velvet against your hair.
It’s tender— no, it makes him tender. Saying your name has been the softest, kindest, and most tender way he’s used his words for. 
Maybe it���s a little pathetic, feeling this undone by a name. But then it’s you. 
It was your name— a name he could whisper with adoration, a name that belonged only to him to claim. 
You melt to his words, leaning deeper into his chest. A contented sigh escaped your lips, the sound swallowed by the warmth of his embrace.
Looking up at him, your eyes held a softness he often found himself getting lost in, “I love your name too, but I also like calling you pet names. Is it okay?”
“Whatever you decide.” He’s yours, either way.
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note. this is basically rin being "my nameeee is whatever you decideeeee and i'm just gonna call you mineeee i'm insane but i'm your baby!!!!" yeah that song basically.
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