#again sorry anon this is not like personally directed at you im just using ur ask as an example

[blood-choke]

Hi, I have a question about mc

So, I’m still in the beginning part of chapter two (mostly because I keep pausing to read other variations of my options I choose instead of just playing the game uninterrupted lol); and I was just wondering about some things.

I’ve gone through most asks on her about V and the way she treats mc when mc doesn’t go her way and I sort of understand her aggressiveness though it’s still triggering as I’ve not really seen the good parts, cuz my mc doesn’t trust her and finds her secretive nature suspicious; but I wonder like, was mc a bad person before entombment?

Like obvi everyone isn’t black and white and has grey areas in personality, but in the beginning Val just seems so triggered (?) that mc is alive again and here again with her. She only seems chill when you pick options that align with what she wants, but outside that, she seems truly disturbed like she needs to take a breather or sth.

This also came to mind cuz of how Hana talks about us TO us. Like saying how she expected us to not be like Val and her seeming disappointed that we were similar to Val, in that scene were we discover phones for the first time. Like, is that just cuz of the choice that prompted her jealousy, or is that because of how mc was a person before?

I hope I constructed those questions well lol, but it just makes me wonder if certain ways they react towards the mc are just cuz of how they are a people or cuz of how mc was as a person. Cuz it seems like she and Val had a pretty turbulent relationship; was that due to their personalities or the times they were in? I feel like that’ll be answered as the story goes on, but yeah; I do wonder if mc’s previous personality majorly influences how H and V act towards us.

this is not solely directed at you anon but i have gotten a lot of asks that essentially boil down to "who is the Correct one in this situation" and i've been kinda vague or ignoring the messages because it goes against the whole point of the story, but i've received enough questions like this i'm just going to do a blanket response to explain what my intention is with writing this and why there will be no straight answers to most of these questions.

i'll put it under a cut because it's going to be long (and i guess if you want to avoid potential spoilers). i'm not going to get into details, mainly just the overarching themes that i'm trying to communicate through the narrative and with characters like the mc and Valentina.

first, to start, let me talk about Valentina:

Valentina is written in a very intentional way. she is meant to be erratic and hypocritical and not very nice. she is hundreds of years old, and at this point nearly the entire last century of her life was spent in a controlling, abusive relationship. she is going to be both defensive and aggressive because she's still in a lot of pain and struggling to work through it. she has trust issues, she thinks everyone is using her for her money, she is very paranoid and sensitive. she, as the kids say, needs therapy. this does not absolve her of her poor treatment of Hana and the mc currently, but i hope this explains it better. she is meant to be a polarizing and challenging character.

i've said a few times now that you are never going to know who is telling the truth about Standard, you're never going to get a moment in game where it tells you exactly who is Right or Wrong. i've written Valentina the way i have because yes, you are supposed to doubt her, but also i'm a bit astounded by how many people seem to just have no sympathy for her at all (again not directed at you anon but just in general.) while you're never going to know if it was her idea or not, if she chose Standard or not, or even really know what happened between her and Julien, the indisputable facts are that she, as a lesbian, had to marry a man out of desperation and was forced to be his wife and daughter for nearly 90 years. she is not going to be well adjusted after this. she is not going to want to talk about this. she has valid reasons for being reluctant to share the horrible things that happened to her, as well as being a little suspicious.

she is a tragic character. she is the antithesis of the "perfect victim." we will get to have a bit of a "confrontation" with her at the start of the next chapter, and i'm hopeful that this will get across exactly why Valentina is the way she is in the text.

as for her relationship with mc, it has always been a bit intense, but they did love each other genuinely before. it's why mc did what they did to end up entombed in the first place. i would blame a lot of the problems of their relationship previously on the time period they were in. it wasn't easy for either of them. like i said before, being a vampire was not a get out of jail free card. it's been hinted at but mc and Valentina were living in poor conditions until the 1910s, where they finally started getting a foothold, by trapping and killing men and with mc themself dressing up as a man. but then what happened, happened, and mc was entombed in the 1920s.

was mc a bad person? i mean they very much did murder people along with Valentina. it's up to you how you feel about that. she murders people now in the demo. she's a vampire, she doesn't really have the same ethics as we do. was she bad to Valentina? sometimes. Valentina was bad to her, too. were they "toxic"? maybe. mc doesn't remember, and honestly Valentina doesn't remember that much either.

the mc waking up with no memory, while a convenient plot device in an IF game like this, was also done intentionally. you're never going to know if the mc was really a "bad person" though playing through you can probably feel that the mc does suspect that they were - is it true, or is this an insecurity around their butchness, a fear of her own masculinity? we don't know. part of the narrative is the mc reconciling this fact, as well as understanding that either way they can choose to be better - she's been given a second chance. she does not have to be a certain way because of who she is - the parallels being drawn between her and Standard are there to acknowledge this negative view of butches as just "men lite" as well as this bioessentialist idea that masculinity = bad. but just because the mc is butch does not mean she will end up like Standard or Atlas or Julien. and those three aren't bad just because they're men, they're bad because they choose to be bad and abuse their power over marginalized people. this is something that will be expanded upon as the story progresses and mc gets more comfortable in their identity and we see more of the council, particularly Sasha and Cassius.

and now with Hana, she's never met the mc before, so she kind of has this preconceived idea of her, and you do get that comment both because she's a bit jealous but also because she's afraid of the mc's jealousy. if you're at the start of ch2 you may have not had the conversation with Hana yet, but her irritation comes from the fear that you will get jealous of her and want to shove her out, despite her close relationship with Valentina, and this being her home, too. she assumes you're asking because you're trying to "sus her out" and decide whether you're going to align as friends or enemies. she says you're like Valentina in that regard because, like we touched on, Valentina is very paranoid and jealous.

to be clear i do understand the game is early on, we're only on ch3, so i don't expect readers to be able to magically intuit exactly what i'm writing (some of the stuff about mc is impossible to know at this stage). but i cannot stress enough that everyone in this story can be considered "bad" in some way, and you're not going to get a eureka moment where everything is clarified. it's meant to be messy and confusing. i'm never going to outright say "this character is the One True Villain, and this character is the Righteous one." hopefully this does clear a few things up, though, and better helps you (and everyone else that has been asking) understand what's going on, and what the deal is with both the mc and Valentina.

[cieloclercs]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a social media fic with nando where his gf/fiancé/wife comes to the paddock for the first time after they had their second child? And like the photographers are all oveeeer reader cuz of the cuteness and the other drivers are just soo happy nando found his person and started a family and just overload cuteness from the media and the fans and stuff like that 😊(ps: can you make the reader 10-12 years younger than alonso? I’m a sucker for a good age gap!) btw, looooove your writing and smau’s!! Have a good day 🫶🏻

-🦕

home is where the heart is — fernando alonso

genre. social media au pairing. fernando alonso x reader warnings. swearing

author’s note. hello anon! i wasn’t entirely sure if you meant first time after having their second child or first time ever, but i’ve gone with the latter so i hope you like it! also there isn’t a direct reference to the age gap in here sorry :( you can still imagine it that way though because that was my thought process when i was making this <3

liked by formulaupdates and 2,367 others

f1wags Fernando Alonso and his longtime girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N spotted in the paddock for the first time! Y/N has just given birth to their second child, María! What an adorable family 😍

view all comments…

username you’re telling me i’ve been waiting to meet the mystery that is Y/N for YEARS and then she turns up with TWO WHOLE CHILDREN IM GOING TO IMPLODE

username i can’t believe the mystery girlfriend nando’s been hoarding is THIS HOT

username he knows we’ll fight him for her 🤭

username what the FUCK

username two kids?? daddy alonso’s been busy 😳

username STOP 😭😭

username he’s officially a dilf now 🥳🥳🥳

username carmen and maría are so cuteeee 🥹🥹

username i knowwww 😭 and girl dad nando is SERVING

username look at how he’s got carmen on his shoulders AHHH 🦋🦋🦋

2h ago

liked by yourusername and 65,736 others

tagged: yourusername

fernandoalo_oficial Home race week with mis ángeles ❤️ So glad to have my three greatest loves with me for this special race. Y/N, Carmen y María, os quiero a todos más de lo que puedo decir 💗 / I love you all more than I can ever say. See you in Canada!

view all comments…

username i was NOT prepared to cry today

username stop because this is SO SIGNIFICANT as well?? like before y/n fernando was single for so long and now he’s finally found his person 🥹🥹🥹 i’m not crying u are

username i’m pretty sure ur crying

username don’t EXPOSE me

lancestroll it was so lovely to see y/n and the girls! hope you bring them to the paddock again soon 🤍

yourusername i think carmen would throw a fit of we didn’t 😅 how does canada sound?

lancestroll see you there! 😁

fernandoalo_oficial Do I get a say in this?

yourusername the girls will miss you if you go without us 🥲

fernandoalo_oficial Just the girls? 🤨

yourusername ok maybe i’ll miss you too 😉

username not y/n and nando flirting on main 🫣

lewishamilton So happy for you mate ❤️ Give Y/N and the girls my love x

*fernandoalo_oficial and yourusername liked this comment

fernandoalo_oficial ❤️

carlossainz55 the most beautiful couple 🤍 me alegro mucho por vosotros / so happy for you guys

yourusername gracias carlos ☺️ come visit soon, carmen and maría miss their favourite uncle!

carlossainz55 on my way as we speak

landonorris favourite uncle? am i a joke to you?

maxverstappen1 excuse me i think that title belongs to me 🤨

lancestroll not a chance. i’m their favourite

yourusername boys there’s no need to fight! you can share the title 😌

fernandoalo_oficial Lando is their favourite

landonorris HAHAHHA SUCK ON THAT

username nando really said fuck it let’s cause some chaos 😭

maxverstappen1 beyond happy for you guys (even though i should be the girls’ favourite uncle)

fernandoalo_oficial Keep dreaming, Max!

username yeah you’ve already won enough titles, let the others have this one!

*yourusername liked this comment

username i still want to know how they kept this secret for so long 😭

landonorris i deserve a medal for not telling anyone tbh.

username PHAHAHHA LANDO

astonmartinf1 We’ll be seeing the full Alonso family around our garage again soon, hopefully? 👀

yourusername keep my boyfriend’s car fighting for podiums and then we’ll talk!

username SHE’S JUST LIKE ME FR

username iconic.

[cali]

im a different anon but im just curious what advice you would give to someone whos been pillbugging it for um. over a year now

mmm i cant really answer how to stop having depression which im guessing is what u mean + i dont know how ur head works but ive been living mostly NEET-ly for more than 2 yrs now and everyday im getting a better curve at dealing with it so i can tell u what works for me.

half the time when im pillbugging hard im paralyzed by a nontangible fear and the only thing that could stop it is adressing wherever the fear is coming from but the confrontation of the topic, trying to figure out where its even coming from, is terrifying too so i dont do it and stay swimming in tar. theres a sentence people keep saying when they explain why they watch 2 hour video essays "it makes my head go quiet". thats the enemy, the thought, not the person saying it. long term i mean. when its short term anguish that can be bridged by pillbugging its fine i think but if ur "making ur head quiet" for more than a month i urge u to make it go really loud again but thats hard. the only times i can try and confront those thoughts is when i feel otherwise nice, if i got externally forced to have a fun day, hike with my papa, date day with my girlfriend, sometimes just got myself to make a nice meal and it helped, when u feel better its a little less scary and u can maybe try and think out of it a little better. also i think on those days youre generally more positively charged so u got more hope outlook. COOL. i think this is why some people do meditation. im not good at it so i dont really know but i think its a brave pasttime of tackling unpleasant ideas. i used to try and dope my way out of it with lsd cuz everytime i used it it kind of forced me to confront whatever trouble i had but ive forbad myself that cuz i didnt want to rely on it as crutch + it was just unpleasant to get hit over the head everytime. now i only do it when i feel good already (havent done it in half a year lol). sorry, drug tangent. also weed is synonymous with pillbugging 4 me.

otherwise, rituals.... mmmmm..... when therapists and whoevers say stuff like take daily walks daily exercise take daily shower i think all of those are like half about the direct benefits they give and half just about doing anything regularly. cuz it helps. during pillbug hours the point for me is kind of to have time pass as fast as possible so the timeframe to hurt is reduced which is counterproductive cuz if it flows u by rlly hard u cant really grasp onto anything to get off the ride easily. and its never going to come really easy theres no probable single action or event that is going to singlehandedly pull u out of the mire, no rapture, no healing vitamin, its always going to be slow and tedious and boring and stupid but a routine is a nice framework to start that. brushing ur teeth is nice. and when u do something daily the days start becoming more tangible again and u will be able to tell how many days ago tuesday was. maybe u can think abotu what factors motivate u and twist them to do your biddinggg. shame and dissapointment works really well for me if i tell someone i will have this done by then and i dont it usually overpowers the malaise or whatever other reason has been making me not do it prior. but this requires social bonds and i cant guarantee u have those. in summer i started doing therapy cuz in germany i need it for transgenderism and shes also a good beacon for that, if she says do something until next time we meet i dont want to dissapoint her. other than that, um idk, everyting else is just kind of part of that. take walks even if u dont want to think about things even if its scary. be brave like childrens book illustration of knight slaying dragon. and then maybe u get a princess kiss

[thisismeracing]

Haven’t looked at ur blog since sending the og anon about patreon so idk where all the other anons came from with this discourse which i cba reading btw so yeah….. but i just find it super weird and unorthodox to charge money for fanfiction ive been in fandom spaces for over a decade and never seen this 😭 also i wasn’t trying to shame u for needing money ?? I also find it really rude that ur moots are under that post saying if im broke just say so, i think thats far ruder and shaming me more than anything in that original ask lmao so yeah that felt like a bit of a double standard 👍

Hi, anon! Answering you a tad late because the other anons and their asks that you cba to read ended up taking a lot of my energy (not blaming you, just sharing the reason why it took me forever to answer).

I dunno which fandoms you're part of, but charging for fanfiction is no biggie in huge fandoms like chris evans, one direction, and so on. it's nothing new. It's not a thing in the f1 fandom because it's a mid-sized fandom IMO, but still you can find people with a patreon in here (I'm not the first one). If you had just searched the tags on Tumblr before sending me your first anon you would see.

It felt like you were judging, or pointing a finger, but since in messages you can't really understand the tone, I'm sorry (AGAIN) if my answer came across as rude. And since I don't have trouble recognizing when something got out of hand and I'm in the wrong, I'm sorry the messages of my moots seemed like an attack towards you or some kind of judgment on people who don't have money (bc I don't have it too, obviously), they were just trying to stand up for me after an ask that sounded rude and judgy. So it was rather a reaction, than an action if it makes any sense. Still, I'm sorry.

Hope you don't take it personally, but just adding, to try considering how your words can be received before sending an anon to people. I see lots of things I disagree with and personally don't like, but you won't see me going on anon and telling authors all of my thoughts. all of us are going through a lot of shit, the last thing we needed is someone sounding rude in our inbox <3

It seemed as if it was all a misunderstanding, so I'm glad to move past it. Hope you can do the same. And again: I'm sorry :)

[guavagyu]

bronzer - yoon jeonghan

this is part 4 of the eyeshadow series!!!

request: “request: jeonghan fanfic where new stylist/makeup artist and jeonghan fall in love? slow burn, sexual tension, secret relationship typa thang ;) <3!”

just realized i haven't been writing w slow burn or sexual tension at all, im sorry if ur disappointed anon </33

[prev.] [next]

ITALIC words represent thoughts!!

wc: 755

content: non-idol!au, model!jeonghan, stylist!reader, makeup-artist!reader, swearing, fluff, sol ig, lmk if there are more!

NOT proofread!

recap:

what the hell was i thinking? zoning out like that while staring at him? jeonghan probably thinks he’s stuck working with a creep. this is great.

--

monday! (y/n's pov!)

--

5:45 am was when your alarm rang. saturday was draining, and sunday was just spent by you gaining your composure, doing self-care, everything you possibly could to prepare you for the most dreaded day of the week; monday. today, you had even more reason to hate today. today was the day you had to face jeonghan again, which made it even more dreadful after your interesting encounter on saturday afternoon.

after a few more minutes, you groaned as you dragged yourself out of bed. you trudged over to your closet and picked out a simple grey blouse, bell-bottom dress pants, and black heels. obviously, you needed some avocado toast with scrambled eggs and a latte to start your day, hopefully giving it a push in a good direction. after finishing your food and coffee, you brushed your teeth, washed your face, threw on a simple makeup look, and headed out the door.

it was 6:13 when you parked your car and arrived at Reminiscence. you got greeted by a few of your new co-workers on your way in, glad to see that everything you needed had already been provided for you; a beautiful room packed full of amazing clothes and makeup. what more could i ask for? oh. right. haha. ugh, i wish that whole staring incident never happened.

you settled down into your room, exploring and trying to figure out where everything was. okay, thats where more clothes are..holy shit i get a coffee machine??? i love my job! as you explored for a few more minutes, co-workers were knocking and entering in hopes to introduce themselves, and most were great, genuine people. of course there were a couple weird people, but it’s nothing to worry about.

you were by yourself until 6:34 am, when the person you wished would never speak to you again walked in. you wanted to crumble and die right there, the embarrassment overwhelming you,

“hi..” jeonghan started, a bit awkwardly from saturday’s interaction,

“h-hi..uh..one thing! i just wanted to apologize again for..um..saturday. it was inappropriate and super rude a-” you blushed, trying to explain yourself and apologize to the best of your abilities,

“hey, y/n, it’s fine. just like you told me last week, don’t mention it. okay? it’s fine, everybody zones out. please stop worrying about it, alright?" he tried to comfort you, but it didn't accomplish much,

"well, could i at least buy you a coffee or dinner or something?" the urge to redeem yourself even if it wasn't necessary was taking over your entire sense of judgement,

"..maybe," he sighed

"ok, that's a start," you shrugged, “thanks, jeonghan. means a lot,” you smile

“no problem, just please stop worrying about it, mkay?”

“promise,” you giggled, and started your work day. picking out outfits that fit the necessary concepts for this month’s issue, touching up with dabs of eyeshadow; anything that needed to be done.

--

6 pm!! the workday is over <3

--

holy shit. it was finally 6 pm. MONDAY IS OVER! I'M FREE! now i can finally go home and-

"hey," jeonghan called out, breaking your train of thought,

"hm?"

"you still owe me dinner," he teased,

"huh? oh, okay," you quickly gave up on trying to argue, it was pointless when he used your own words against you, "so where'd you wanna go?"

"how 'bout that one place down the block? it's a 5-minute drive, and the place is really chill,"

"sounds great! do you need me to take you there?" you asked, not trying to be rude and just leave him here all alone,

"actually, yeah that'd be great. sorry, i just decided to walk here today, it was like 8 minutes," he explained, sort of embarrassed to have to rely on you for quick transportation,

"no worries, it'd be no trouble at all. just get done and meet me at the entrance of the building in 5?"

"sounds great," he smiled as you left to let him gather his things and clean up whatever needed to be cleaned,

--

jeonghan's pov!

--

this is JUST a normal thing. y/n is only taking me out for dinner as a coworker. we are COWORKERS!! nothing can truly happen. ugh why does it have to be like this? ever since i bumped into them 2 weeks ago i can't stop thinking about them. the more i'm around y/n the harder it is to stay calm. am i crazy? am i an absolute creep? i hope i don't do something absolutely stupid during dinner.

--

© guavagyu 2023. all rights reserved. plagiarization, reposting, translating, and/or rewriting ANY and ALL of my works is prohibited

[problemsleuth]

Please it's pride month u legally have to tell us ur midnight crew and problem sleuth gay headcanons

ALKFDSJF MAN WHAT tbh i havent been thinking about them that much this much but i will do it for you buddy

edit: ok now that i'm done im actually all jazzed about ps/intermission again so thank you for this ask anon LOL i had a lot of fun getting to ramble on about stuff and have an excuse to neglect work HAHAHA

guess we'll stay topical and go with like gay awakening headcanons or related. just as a general reminder this is assuming theyre all humans since carapacians probably dont have sexualities defined

Problem Sleuth - I like the whole deal where sleuth assumed he was milquetoast straight for most of his life until he met slick and was like uh oh im bisexual arent i! i think he had other close call moments but sort of mental-gymnastics'ed himself into believing it was just admiration for their hardboiledness or like Friendly Comradery fit with all the intricate rituals to touch another man. fighting and arm over each others shoulders while drinking away at the bar sort of thing. falling in love with slick sort of hit him like a truck, injuries and all. he still sometimes grapples with old habits dying hard though. no i will not elaborate :( sorry.

Hysterical Dame - think she knew for forever she was bi, like i think she had a lot of anime ass moments back when she was in school where a lot of girls would fall for her Roguish Charms and outgoing personality and it was relatively easy for her to explore from there. very much the girl knight in shining armor sort of effect from her willingness to get into fights as well.

Pickle Inspector - wow i think he was well aware he was queer from the get-go. he always knew he was weird or whatever because of his grab bag of issues and quirks, so i think him realizing he was attracted to whoever was not really that big of a deal to him. less of a gay awakening more of a gay "oh i accidentally put an extra box of cereal in my shopping cart. ok". i think if he wasn't literally crawling out of his skin with psychosis and anxiety he would enjoy old drag culture a lot. but as it stands now its way too elbow-to-elbow social and young for him to really get into it. and he's much too busy... (excuse)

Nervous Broad - similar to Sleuth surprisingly i think she had a very late sort of deal where she had the classic "wait, you dont act this way when you see cute girl?" moment with her gal pals from uni. HD being very easy to get along with and very direct made it easy for NB to realize she was developing feelings for another woman. i think NB is very much like bi/pan (she doesnt really get or feel strongly about labels) but she has a really strong preference for femmes.

Ace Dick - apologies to ace dick likers who disagree but AD to me is like the Staple Early 1900s Man from the Adverts. he has a lovely wife who he loves so much and a rambunctious boy he plays catch with on the weekends and they sit around the radio to catch the regular mystery hour. he's aware that there's been a few men about town that he'd probably be willing to get to know more personally in another life, but he's fully satisfied with his little city-suburbia Classic Heterosexual Middle Aged Couple dynamic. so basically no salient gay awakening type moments, just in tune with himself to be aware hes probably not classically as straight as people assume him to be. i also like to joke internally that he considered sleuth one of those aforementioned "men about town" before the guy went and opened his mouth, demolishing the thought before it had even finished forming HAHAHA

===

now for the midnight crew...

Spades Slick - very much has lived by the code of living dangerously, down to his partners. usually tends to be drawn to the kind of people who give the impression of someone who would not have many qualms about slitting your throat in the middle of a hookup. scarysexual. think thats why in my head he's had a few on and off moments with droog (even though truthfully, droog is a lazy stringbean of a guy, despite the outward reputation that precedes him). its for sure why he's so drawn to Snowman, even though their dynamic from start to finish has never been anything close to a healthy relationship. but they both feel it works for them, so they keep going. (i think this is why him shacking up with sleuth was such a surprise to everyone that knew him well - sleuth's soft, and worse, he's got a working moral compass. that's not slick's typical mark. but he gives as good as he gets all the same, in both fighting and fucking, so slick doesnt think twice about how he's breaking status quo. and thats how he ends up catching feelings along the way). i got off topic. tldr; slicks never really thought about his sexuality so no real gay awakening moment either. more of a whoops caught feelings moment, since that was rarer and later in life.

Diamonds Droog - WORST case of hetero posturing you'll ever encounter ever in your life. kept a lot of Tasteful Female Nudes on and around him to """""accidentally"""" let slip to ascertain YES he is SO HETEROSEXUAL. there is NO DOUBT that he LOVES WOMEN. in reality he's been painfully aware that he's into men since he was practically a teen and has worked to cover that fact as thoroughly as possible since. i like to think that contributed to how he got so good at lying. and also why he's repressed as all get out fuck and extremely extremely private about his sex life. normal relationships whomst? anyways id like to direct everyone to helen's (@jawbonejoe) catholic guilt portion of the droog headcanon corner because that basically sums up a similar idea LOL

Hearts Boxcars - he's like droog where he had his gay awakening in his teen years but he was normal about it. he's just not as obvious to clock because one of his biggest hobbies is indulging in corny romance novels which are (for the most part) hetero, is passively religious, and happens to be very courteous to women as well which paints him a little as a stereotypical southern gentleman. but no hes very much a big gay man who hopes to settle down someday right proper.

Clubs Deuce - kind of a natural airhead sort of charmer, so has naturally had a lot of people of various gender identities approach him for a date or two early on. he also doesn't see the point of saying no as long as he likes them somewhat, and boy he sure does love people! later he finds out there's nifty names for the kind of people you like to date, and they come with fun colored flags - well ain't that just swell? when he gets later into his crew involvement in his early 30's, he gets less people approaching him right off the bat for intimate socializing, and since he's not really the type to reach out himself, he kind of stagnates for a while dating-wise until he hits his middle years. then he becomes Kind Of A Dilf and gets back into the dating scene. so not so much a gay awakening either.

===

im zooted atm so apologies if anything is confusing or run-on, but that's basically the 411 on my sexuality headcanons for the team and crew respectively. hope u enjoyed anon!! sorry it's long. i didnt get too much into gender stuff because to be honest, my headcanons on their gender journeys are a lot less solidified in my head. i like to go with whatever headcanons the people around me lean into, since i dont feel strongly about them. this is probably because i dont feel a strong attachment to my own gender. like if gender is a spectrum i am a mote of dust that is floating nearby. generally my defaults tend to be that PI and NB are very much genderfluid and nonbinary, slick is trans (if human - i assume that due to the nature of carapacian production, gender doesnt have the same meaning or impact as it does with humans, and therefore gender identity isnt really something that's needed for them. unless specifically they're formed and prototyped into a universe that is heavily impacted by gender, in which case they can understand it conceptually. otherwise theyre out here presenting however they want down to like re-prototyping their bodies to comfort), DMSG is intersex and identifies as a woman (whoops shes not technically team sleuth but i think about here a lot), and sonhearst likes to identify as transmasc (i like to imagine AD and WH sort of being boomers about the lingo but very much being fully supportive and loving parents about it. heart in the right place sort of comedy vibes).

[threepointseven]

hi !! can i pls be 🌹anon?

id like to request a sick reader x scaramouche, childe, xiao (separate) hc

im so sick rn and just wanted some comfort to motivate me to do my homework 🥀🥀

When your sick

Type- HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= xiao x gn! Reader, childe x gn! Reader, scaramouche x gn! Reader

Note🍀= I GOT SO LAZY IN XIAOS PART IM SO SORRY. BUT UHM I PUT EFFORT INTO CHILDES AND SCARAMOUCHES SO MWAH MWAH HOPE YOU ENJOY!! AND OFC YOU CAN BE 🌹 ANON 😋😋💕💕 GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK 🌹 ANON 🤨🤨

Genshin masterlist

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

Scaramouche

surprise surprise hes a pain in the ass!!!

He does not know how to deal with sick people, the last time hes has to sort of deal with someone sick is when Childe got a fever and instead of taking care of him he poured Signora’s burning hot soup that she made for him all over childe’s face and then left him to rot

But now hes got you?!!??! A partner?!?! And he cant just pour the homemade soup on your face cause he loves you and cares about you?!?! 🤯🤯🤯

Hes not a great care taker but he’ll immediately order a fatui healer to help you out, give you medicine and such, and make you things to ease your pain

He refuses cuddles from you smh🙄🙄 your literally a hollow corpse of a puppet dont act like your gonna get a fever after a kiss 🤨🤨

“Achoo!”

“Gross you sneezed on me ugh what if i get a cold!”

“No you wont..!!! You know scara i dont think the amount of soup the healers are giving me is working.. but you know what just might!”

“Dont say cuddles.”

“… physical affection for a long period of time.”

despite his cold attitude and the sound of “i dont care about this fever or you” in his voice he truly does care, hes worried the entire time infact and even ditches on some of his work just to make sure your doing okay.

If you say the medicine is too bitter and refuse to drink it try to run away one more time and hell shove the spoon down your goddamn throat. And yes, he is feeding you. HE SAYS ITS CAUSE YOUR SICK AND UR PROBABLY SUPER WEAK BUT HES JUST REALLY JUST USING IT AS AN EXCUSE TO FEED YOU CAUSE HE FINDS IT SO CUTE AND ROMANTIC DVDJDBB

If you pester him enough he will cuddle with you, hesitantly but he will. He’ll stay there softly caressing your back and just listen to your whines and groans til you fall asleep

His first thought is to shove the last bit of bitter medicine you didnt want to drink down your throat but he instead just cuddles with you, softly blowing away the interrupting strand of hair so he can kiss you on the forehead lovingly.

“Better not get sick again, your a pain..”

he means well he just does not know how to translate “i hate seeing you sick it makes me wanna cry whenever i see you in pain” into something thats less direct-

Childe

his big brother instincts are immediately on. He knew you were sick before you knew you were sick😭

Hes so serious about it and makes sure your in bed rest for the rest of the day and if you attempt to get away to do work or something he will personally contact your boss and say that you arent going to work today🙄🙄

So so strict about the medicine and the rest💔 he has this saying in his head that if you dont treat a flu correctly quick enough itll turn into something fatal like the plague or smth🤨

He WILL cuddle you, Even if it means getting the plague with you🥱🥱🥱

“Ajax im sick! Im gonna give you a cold!”

“I feel so betrayed.. im being rejected by my own partner.. i feel my blood draining through the crevices of my body-“

“…i’ll sneeze on you.”

“I mean thats kinda…”

“We are breaking up immediately.”

With the laughs come your boyfriend shoving bitter snezhnayan medicine down your throat though-

He needs you to get better, its not like hes annoyed its just he hates seeing you sick so much. Hed much rather see you running around the town shouting as loud as you want instead of clutching your stomach and groaning in pain.

He definitely feeds you every single inch of food you get, he will be so dramatic when he sees you eating with your own hands and your own utensils like bro hes supposed to be feeding you🤨🤨

During the night he’ll help ease up every single part of your body you say is in pain, he’ll put an ice pack on your forehead and kiss every part thats in pain. Youll fall asleep in his arms with him continuously kissing your face sloppily till its red and youll wake up in his arms. He couldnt care less if he gets a fever as long as he got to hold you through all that pain you were experiencing hes happy.

Xiao

has no idea how to deal with sick people

Hes never gotten sick?? So like??? He asks verr for help and that look of “archons i feel bad for your partner” when he asks what sick people need🙁

Genuinely so clueless but once he finds out what to do hes already teleporting his way to bubu pharmacy, picking up the best herbs and giving them to you, he wont take “its too bitter!” For an answer you are drinking them.

Hell feed you your medicine but let you eat your food by yourself

Puts an ice pack on your forehead snd just watches you the entire time like a hawk🤕🤕

Its so creepy 😟😟 hes just there for the entire night and day in the corner of the bed watching you like 😐

If you pester him enough he’ll give you a few kisses on the forehead but most of the time he’ll just pat your head and watch you as you sleep

He thinks almond tofu is good for sick ppl??😓😓 so he just makes a hoard of almond tofu and force feeds it to you and when you throw up because of the sugar overload he feels so guilty 🙁

Literally if that happens he just stays so far away from you, letting verr handle sick little you before he feels better about himself-

Hes always so stiff when cuddling but just since your sick he’ll ease up and if your lucky enough he’ll kiss your nose for a second before blushing a wave of crimson and regretting his life decisions

[faetarou]

𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 || 𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢

fandom || haikyuu

pairings || inarizaki x reader [second!POV] miya atsumu, suna rintarou, miya osamu

gender || fem!reader

request || anon said: hi there!! i rlly love the way u potray the inarizaki and ur writing is amazing!! im so glad ur req is open too!! // can i req for suna and miya twins (or any other characters u want from inarizaki) having a crush on reader who look cold and indifferent on the outside but then they found reader actually play volleyball and is super passionate abt it so reader start to open up to the boys // sorry if its too much details 🥺 thank u very much!! 💖 [from fae: damn i loved this request, thank you so much anon, you're so sweet !! i used a slightly different format to accommodate this one and did change up the req just a little]

warnings // disclaimers || swearing, indifferent!reader

word count || 1.0k

taglist || @crystal-lilac , @kenmaslov3r​ ​, @jojowantstocry , @igyus [you can send me an ask or dm to be added !!]

ATSUMU invited you to come watch his practice on a dare, since he had a pretty big crush on you. Of course, you were virtually the only girl at Inarizaki who didn't have a crush on him, instead choosing to ignore him most of the time ("Your taste in girls is just fuckin' great, Tsumu-" "Oh, shut up, Samu.") and almost every comment you directed at him was stunningly cold. However, he played his cards right and managed to trick you into coming to watch you at volleyball practice ("Aw, is poor Y/N-chan really that scared of me? A-" "I told you not to call me that, Miya, and fine!").

The moment you walked in, he served the perfect jump float that curved unpredictably towards the back of the court and landed just on the line. To top it off, he followed it up with a ripper of a power serve, bouncing so high off the court it nearly hit the ceiling.

Atsumu got the shock of his life when you, cold, uninterested, Y/N, ran over to him with the ball in your hands, your eyes actually lighting up as you gushed about how amazing his dual wield was, and how perfect his technique was, and was he, Atsumu, aware of how freaking cool that was? He literally started blushing as you began to ramble about how you played and wished you could even get close to what he had just done. You, the 'worst girl' to fall for, passionately complimenting him with the biggest smile on his face.

"Jeez, Y/N, if I'd have known you got so excited over volleyball, I woulda invited you way sooner."

Surprising him even more, you didn't comment on his usage of your first name. "Thanks, Atsumu-kun! I really love volleyball!"

Atsumu was ecstatic that he'd learned more about you, especially that you weren't as unapproachable as he'd thought.

Damn, she's cute when she rants.

RINTAROU was surprised to find himself liking you, but, then again you two were pretty similar. Both coming off as uncaring and even mean to people who didn't know you, it came as little shock to most people once he finally discovered his feelings. However, he was extremely awkward around you, not quite knowing what to say to someone the polar opposite of his usual constant of the Miya twins.

Finally, he saw a copy of Volleyball Monthly on your desk, and he came up with an idea, softly, shyly inviting you to practice that afternoon. To his relief, you nodded vigorously, even giving him a smile so uncharacteristic of the cold person you came off as. When you arrived just as the warmup had ended, Rintarou found himself desperate to impress you, face impassive from where you sat to the side.

As Atsumu set to him, he leapt has high as he could, stretching as far over as possible and hitting the ball with a ridiculous amount of spin with his body at a near right-angle. Though he had done it to show off to you, he was outright shocked when you ran directly onto the court to grab his arm, a literal grin on your face.

"Holy shit, Suna, that was so cool! How did you hit it at that angle? And, woah, that spin was incredible-"

You continued rambling as the team cast him somewhat bemused glances, until you cut yourself off when the middle blocker said nothing.

"Uh, sorry, I got a little carried away, I just love to play and wa-"

The Suna Rintarou cracked a genuine smile, a soft lilt to the lips solely for you as he ignored what was occurring at the practice around him.

"I didn't know you were such a big fan of volleyball."

You giggled. Giggled. "I really love it - your spike is amazing!"

He found himself laughing. Maybe I have a chance with her after all.

OSAMU knew he didn't know a lot about you, though he also did know a lot, given that he genuinely liked you. He didn't know the extent of how little he knew about you, though, until he fumbled his way through asking you to volleyball practice (yes, as somewhat of a date) and you replied with a "sure" that was just a little warmer than the usual impartiality of your tone.

He had no time wait for you when you were running late, and started practice instead - unaware as he and Atsumu practiced their quick that you were watching quietly from the doorway. His twin let out a yell as he ran, the set coming so perfectly into his hand as he smacked it down, waiting for the satisfying smack of the ball hitting the ground ...

Which never came, Osamu instead hearing the slap of a volleyball against skin, and he landed from the jump with his grey eyes wide.

You stood on the other side of the net, rubbing your now red arm as the volleyball flew in a trajectory obviously originating from you, a bright grin on your face and enthusiasm shining through your expression.

"Woah, your quick is insanely good!" you said excitedly, ducking under the net to stand right in front of Osamu. "It was way too tough to receive!"

"Y-Y/N?" he barely managed to say, voice shaking in shock.

You laughed, passing the ball back to him and brushing your fingertips against his in the process. "I'm super passionate about volleyball, so I play a little, and it's so cool how good you guys are!"

Warmth filled Osamu's chest as he stared at you, flushed and grinning, and his heart fluttered just a little because of you, and damnit, you were just about the perfect girl, 'indifference' and all.

࿐ 𝐟𝐚𝐞'𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 !!

[with-the-same-tattoos]

I love that you are so willing to take constructive criticism and reflect on your art, I really do, but these anons come off so aggressive sometimes...?

Like DUH, I know it's not directed at me, and I know this is totally on me, but if I got anons like these I'd think they were kinda rude? It's not even that they're blunt, like I'm blunt as fuck, but there's something about the way they're worded that makes it come off less as constructive criticism and more like annoyed complaints.

Again, I know that's just me, you handle it a lot better than I ever could, but even bluntness could have more tact? Idk where I'm going with this lol

Sorry for bitching in your inbox, it's so stupid I know, but I can't help but feel irritated on your behalf sometimes, especially with this rash of really weird/rude anons this part of the slasher fandom has been getting lately.

Ahhh I totally understand what you mean BUT Please don't worry, I'm completely fine w it!!! ; v ; ive talked abt this before so I won't talk too much on it, but I just happen 2 be a person who really apprechiates bluntness /sternness/directness, and i really apprechiate when people air out their annoyances w me n stuff !!! Im just human, I have flaws, and I'd love to see what of them I can help to make peoples days better.

Stern tone can kinda be hurtful to me sometimes since I am kinda sensitive, but its more important for me at this point in my life 2 be a better person than to protect my feelings 🙏

Its not stupid tho!!! You just care and mind other people and worry for them, and thar is very admirable in a person. These things don't cancel eachothers validity, I hope I can SOMEWHAT expressbthat??? Dunno. Im not v good w words. Anyways, I don't think anon was annoyed, just presenting an idea!!!

Btw, there r some extra reasons why some people might message in a more deadpan way that comes off as weird. This doesn't mean that messages can't just be mean to be mean- those ABSOLU5ELY exist too, but if yall ever get a message that feels just a lil off, please for ur own mental health remember that it might just be a misunderstanding :')

Anons trying to kinda blank out their usual typing habits & make their writing less recognizable

The person is not a native english speaker- im not either, and tone was one of the HARDESt things to learn since you need like a lifelong context for some words meanings & vibes (i have been learning english for almost 10 years now and i still struggle w tone sometimes!!!)

Non native english speaker who texts more within their own language- text language habits can be incredibly different in different areas. Use of (or lack of use of) emojis, messy spelling or not, any l33t used, terminology, etc.

Just people in general who struggle w tone !!! It can have so many reasons.

I am not expressing that people shouldn't defend the space where they are comfy, but I also believe there just r a lot of mutual misunderstandings in this world that could be avoided if we try to assume positivity!!! Even then, usually, if someone who is in a bad mood gets a positive message treating them kindly, they might feel a bit better and feel a bit bad for being unpleasant, if that was their intent, and you might be able to make a friend and help that friend feel a lil better :)

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok so Camille’s an asshole on that we can all agree, but I’m really tired of people in the fandom acting like she’s just your typical annoying ex and she makes poor uwu Alec feel insecure cause fuck that. Camille was 100% abusive and manipulative but I also think she was sexually abusive too I mean seeing what she did to Simon and kissing Magnus without his consent even though he was clearly uncomfortable, consent doesn’t really seem to be an issue for her-

I feel like she definitely manipulated his fear of loneliness and not being good enough, to suit her needs. Like Magnus isn’t in the mood for sex or it’s especially triggering on a certain day, either way he’s not up for it but Camille makes him do it anyway. She threatens to leave or go find someone else who can fulfill her needs or take care of her when Magnus won’t, ‘I mean does he even love her when he won’t do this one simple thing for her?’ 

So he just lets her do what she wants, even if he’s having a full blown panic attack Camille doesn’t care or she’ll just leave insulting him saying she can’t deal with this right now and leaving Magnus with no idea when or if she’ll be back. So the next time she asks he hesitates less or initiates it more even when he’s not in the mood so she won’t leave and yeah I have a lot of emotions relating to this. and now I’m thinking about how it’ll affect his future relationships, not even talking about Alec but other people - I have this headcanon where when he got away from Camille and is healing, him ragnor and Catarina live together in ragnors cottage or somewhere away from people for awhile so Magnus can slowly heal and focus on himself and unlearn Camille’s abuse with the help of his family 

But despite what this fandom says Magnus has always been a helper and a selfless person to the point of self destruction. He’s unable to prioritise his own health and he wouldn’t be able to slow down and feel the full force of the abuse he experienced cause he feels like he’ll fall apart if he does and ‘no one wants a pathetic crybaby who breaks down when someone moves their hand too fast in his direction it wasn’t even that bad he’s just exaggerating like he always does this is why Camille doesn’t love him back’ (the ‘’ parts were meant to be strikethrough to signify Magnus’ inner thoughts but that doesn’t work on asks)

And he’s scared to get in another relationship cause he doesn’t think he’d be able to speak up for himself if they turned violent or controlling, he’s scared that if they did he’d just let them so he closes himself off from people puts these walls around him and a bright smile on his face that doesn’t let anyone think there’s anything wrong. And theres so much pain going on in the world ‘they have it much worse than him anyway’ and Magnus tries to help the best he can as he always does and he’s always there for people to lean on without any reciprocation and he’s so emotionally and physically tired and he’s not sure how much longer he can take it, almost considers going back to blackfairs bridge ‘really he’d be doing the world a favour’ but theres too many bad memories and he promised his family he would try so he holds on and then he finds Raphael and that obviously doesn’t fix everything but- I was going to continue this but it’s two am in my country and honesty it’s too long already😅 sorry for the rant it’s just a lot of emotions. Im so tired of the ‘Camille’s an annoying ex who keeps getting in the way of my favourite gay ship😠’ metas and needed to let out some feelings before I explode from my hate for Camille

UGH ANON HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE NOT ONLY A GENIUS BUT ALSO MY NEW BEST FRIEND, AN INTELLECTUAL, AND COMPLETELY RIGHT. YOU ARE SO CORRECT!!! idk if uve read my other post that i posted while i was waiting for you but we no longer have the same hat we are SHARING the hat!! i can't believe i got this ask right after i had just made that long ass rant and was in so much need to talk about this like ugh are you my guardian angel. i love you more than anyone else ive ever met

ok ok ok coherent thoughts ok i can do this. first of all THE SALT how does it feel to have vision and coherency. ppl writing camille as just an annoying ex or a bad ex or even as like "oh they both made mistakes and it ended up terrible" drives me UP THE WALL. camille was explicitly abusive, so much so that magnus CANONICALLY WAS UNABLE TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO GET CLOSE TO HIM FOR ALMOST A CENTURY. and she was shown to be abusive, both in the physical sense as you have reminded us so brilliantly and in the sense that her whole "choose me" speech? like she doesn't have to literally say the words "no one but me would ever love you" for that to be exactly what she's saying. she's obviously playing with his insecurities and putting him down while presenting her as his savior, it's CLASSIC ABUSE. she was written as such a perfect to-the-book abuser that it honestly shocks me like they did that really all they ticked all the boxes. the way she immediately launched to talk about alec's mortality too, the way she was obviously trying to make them fight and draw them apart - it wasn't a jealousy thing, it is just that she's abusive and she wants him isolated so she can toy with him and manipulate him 

EVEN SALTIER WHEN THEY MAKE IT ABOUT ALEC BEING INSECURE LIKE. especially because canonically he literally watched camille kiss magnus and didn't care, which was sexy of him because i was dreading some jealousy drama or something but instead he was just like. obviously she did it to hurt you. i only care in the sense that she's a fucking bitch. we stan! 

as for how she treated him! oof i think the same thing with the same words dioajdsaoij it always circled back to "why can't you do this for me?" in and outside of sex - i mentioned that in a conversation in the comments of my other post but i think that with camille the sexual abuse was really just an extension of the regular abuse, so they bleed together and are not really separable in that sense. at every turn, he had to prove his worth, and she used his fear of loneliness both in the sense that she amplified it and made it seem like the only way to not be lonely was to be with her, and that she gave him just enough for him not to feel desperately lonely so she could string him along. not to mention, they both always go back to how magnus supposedly "owes" her, and yes, it's because of the bridge, of course, but there's also that underlying tone of "because she put up with him and gave him affection when no one else would". even when what she did was nowhere close to real affection. so it's both the bridge and the after. she could have saved him and left, but she stayed. that's why he feels he owes her, and she will absolutely use it

AND UR SO RIGHT ABOUT MAGNUS BEING UNABLE TO PRIORITIZE HIS OWN HEALTH UGH UGH UGH UGH like he has no choice for a while because she left him fucking broken and seeing the way she treats him and the amount of shit he puts up with i can only imagine how far she had to go for him to reach a breaking point and leave her for real. but as soon as he could pretend to have himself together he just threw himself out there. and i believe that he felt guilty for having catarina and ragnor take care of him when he abandoned them because of camille - obviously that's not what happened, she manipulated him into staying away from them, made his life hell whenever he wanted to hang out with them until he no longer had the energy to put up a fight to keep in contact with the people he loves, but it's what he feels that happened, and most likely what camille herself eventually started to tell him happened once they had been pulled away enough. ("you're gonna leave me? and go back to who? your little friends who tried to pit you against me from day one? they're just gonna say 'i told you so', magnus. and why would they take you back when you left them before? when was the last time you even saw them? you chose this, you chose me, and now you're gonna come back to them and expect them to welcome you with open arms? you selfish little prick")

AND RAPHAEL!!! raphael was so important, honestly, we say that magnus didn't let anyone into his heart but obviously raphael was the exception and EXTREMELY important for his healing. it's a complicated relationship because he's sort of a father figure for rapha, and as such, he doesn't allow himself to be completely vulnerable around him, because that's not "his role". but! he was the first person whom magnus let in. and they obviously know each other deeply ("i hate to see you like this" even though magnus looked completely put together to the outside eye) and are plenty affectionate ("sweet boy", the hugs, the way rapha talked about magnus with so much love and awe in his eyes and voice) and trusting (the way raphael went to magnus' loft, not his own damn clan, when he was tortured...). i know this fandom likes to pretend that they pretend to hate each other but NO THEY DON'T they are openly caring and loving with each other fucking fight me on this

anyway, my point is that raphael was the first person he allowed himself to trust, and of course, part of that is simply because raphael was vulnerable and in need and like you said he can't just stay still when he sees someone struggling. but to care for raphael eventually had to mean to open up to him and when he welcomed raphael in, he gained a new member to his family. raphael is his kid. that's no small thing. their bond goes deep and it's extremely important because again, after camille magnus wouldn't allow people to get close to his heart, because he was scared of how they could use that against him. raphael was his first, and the only reason magnus was able to open himself up for romantic love again (which was an extra step, not because romantic love is more important or deeper, but because it's specifically the kind of love that camille used against him, and thus it makes him even more scared) was because he had already been relearning trust and platonic love with rapha

rapha did him good!!! there's a reason he calls him "sweet boy" okay. and rapha cares about him and he NOTICES WHEN HE'S IN A BAD SHAPE EVEN THROUGH ALL OF MAGNUS' WALLS and he specifically didn't want magnus involved with the camille drama even when it had obviously gotten out of hand because he wanted to keep him safe and away from her!!! i want to be shot in the face!!! they love each other so much! fuck!

and also that implies that raphael knows about camille which means he might be the first person who met magnus post-camille and heard the story, which means that he might be (and probably is) the first person who was never involved that magnus opened up about this to. if that ain't some powerful and important shit i don't know what is. because part of abuse is that you can't talk about it - there's this sense of shame and guilt both from staying and from not staying more, especially because magnus canonically still feels like he owes her... aaaaa

this answer is all over the place im sorry but my point is you are correct, camille is a textbook abuser not just a shitty ex, she fucked up his head and made him unable to open up for a long time, and the first person that helped him break those walls was raphael and they LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH AND DEEPLY thank you for your attention

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

[makkoskafanfic]

hello may i dump every idea i'm too lazy to write right here -they are very unoriginal, do what you want with them. Plus, you might not like them at all since my fav is hashirama and i guess urs is madara (and I used to prefer him too, but something in me changed when i went to look up the tag madara/hashirama on pixiv and discovered smithsan- such a great artist. okay i'll stop telling my life, but honestly it made me understand how ships worked so much, to switch points of view like that. anyway)

- three words: mokuton cancer cells (but it shows up before he's an old man)

- european medieval au (totally the idea of akatsukiarts but i'm shamelessly asking a talented author to write it :D)

- u probably prefer bottom madara -i've read all ur fics lolol and have i tell i love them all? cuz i do (which i totally get! we can't choose which one we're projecting one) buttttt may i ask for kinda nasty dom madara and obedient sub hashirama? (i'm again going on a tangent but it's so funny how people get "vibes" for who is top or bottom when it doesn't work like that. I mean yeah, u can get clues, but you could turn those clues totally upside down. The opposite situation is soft dom hashirama and bratty sub madara and it fits them just as well - according to me, because opinions are personal-. But that's what i'm getting at. It usually goes from "the sexuality u feel fits the character" -> finding the clues indicating it fits the character. And not the opposite direction. ANYWAY. I'M TALKING TOO MUCH.)

- tajima lives au; what does it change? -probably nothing. I'd like to hear ur opinion hehe (or worse; butsuma lives old au. what happens?)

- do u write hashitobi? i feel like i read one of urs but i might be confusing with another author. Anyway, idea: yandere/dark tobirama (honestly i feel like im so predictable it's not even funny, sorry for those awful ideas this is the worst)

- au where it's tobirama with the mokuton and hashirama (so without mokuton, to be clear).... well u tell me, but i doubt he would fit the scientist role.

okay, i think im done because the rest is even worse and u probs won't use them but here we go! do what u want with these! thank you for the opportunity to share ideas with u! bye now i'm going to hide in a ditch somewhere. urgh why did i write that. :(

Oh Anon, this is a treasure island or a minefield of ideas depending how you look at it!

But first of all, I have to say that if I have to pick one favourite, it is Hashirama and I do project to him maybe a tad too much. That’s why I like to write him from different aspects and see him suffer now and then. Let’s not dwell on this too much hehe.

(Smithsan is indeed a great artist!)

Mokuton cancer cells sounds way too sad! Not that I can’t see Hashirama turning into a tree or something, not knowing how he actually died and all that, but I’m not ready for it!

European medieval AU! Now that sounds a whole lot of fun, especially with some fantasy elements? Dark magician/warlock Madara and knight in shining armour Hashirama? But I do love akatsukiarts lovely arts there, will need to check them again. I fear this might be something longer winded than I currently have the capacity for atm!

I’m all for switching, but yeah, I do picture Hashirama toppier and Madara bottomier. Which makes bottom Hashirama all the more fun to write. Spice things up and all that! While S/D isn’t necessarily my cup of tea, I do like to play around with the dynamics. I actually really getting into the obedient sub Hashirama idea as I can clearly picture him struggling big time with that role, while Madara, I can equally see him struggling with being all dominant (though probably not with being nasty!). Anyhow, this can be gold for The Awkward Sex Scene I Always Wanted To Write, But Never Got Around To Do It.

I have maybe half a page started on a Tajima (and Butsuma) lives AU! It’s one where H&M managed to achieve peace pretty early on and their biggest concern is introducing the other as their boyfriends to their family. I wanted to write it for that one scene where Izuna tries to set Hashirama’s hair on fire with the Katon over family dinner as he can’t stand him having his hand over Madara. Not sure I’ll ever write it though!

I did on one (okay, two, it had a sequel) occasion wrote HashiTobi and I killed myself with it. I’m not saying never again but anything that comes to mind is rather sad and dark. (wow, you’re asking for Dark Tobirama and it’s Dark, who would have ever thought so.) Never wrote any misuse of Edo Tensei (bringing back Hashirama temporary) kind of story, so when I feel I’m in the mood I might go for it.

And nothing loads in my mind when I think about Tobirama and the Mokuton, but knowing me, this will wake me up one day 3 am hehe.

I’m really happy that you took the time to share all these ideas with me. I absolutely don’t promise anything, but I have two weeks before starting a new job and I plan to spend it as any responsible adult would, with playing video games and writing fanfic.

[aro-ace-advice]

Hi so I saw a post saying that if you see sex or romantic intimacy as a need "you're being acephobic" and I wanted to ask your thoughts? As a queer woman when I say I see those things as a need I don't mean like food, noone is entitled to it and one can live a happy life without it. But I mean for the people who do want it they deserve a right to safely explore that and to not have it used against them (ex a partner withholding sex as punishment) Am I unknowingly hurting people by thinking this?

ree says: hi! sorry for late response! i don’t mind that y’all have been sending me asks here even though we’re inactive, but if you feel comfortable with it, you’re always welcome to direct your questions personally to me in my dm’s @cerydwynn ! it’s hard for me to post publicly rn for mental health reasons, but im coming out of retirement for like 2 seconds here to answer ur question because i like to talk about being ace. sorry to everyone else who’s sent us stuff over the past 6 months, i’m depressed and don’t have the energy anymore to do this consistently! again, feel free to message me privately on my personal blog if you’re feeling up to it! i will get back to you there definitely within the day!

you’re right, anon! sexual/romantic intimacy as a need in all walks of life, equivalent to food/shelter/water what have you is not a need by that definition! however, sexual/romantic intimacy as a personal need, defined within your own personal relationships? that depends entirely on your own personal preferences. you are correct, people deserve safe spaces to explore or avoid sex/romance, and not receiving safety in those environments can very much fuck you up, big time. healthy relationships of every variety need set boundaries regarding all sorts of things, including sex and romance, and it’s up to the people in those relationships to define their own needs. as an ace woman myself, i wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s acephobic to personally consider sex/romance a need for yourself and other people who feel similarly to yourself, but i do understand that op was likely referring to people who use acphobic rhetoric like “all humans biologically need to have sex and if you don’t want to or don’t feel attraction then you’re fucked up” (a disgustingly common thing i’ve heard from aphobes). it becomes aphobic when you start targeting the idea of sex and/or romance as a need for every single person alive specifically at ace/aro people who don’t feel that way (and also other folks who have gone through trauma related to these things, etc etc. aphobic rhetoric hurts more than just people within an aspec community). i think the problem here was just a little miscommunication! a lot of the time, generalized ideas and statements are untrue or possibly harmful to some of the people you’re talking about/to simply because it’s literally impossible for everyone to have the same experiences as one another, even within a singular demographic, so it was incorrect of the person who wrote the post to make such a generalized statement without specification, although i do understand their perspective as asexual myself.

it was good of you to examine your bias and ask for advice, though! next time you see a statement like that, where it’s uncomfortably generalized and unspecific, remember that it’s often a good idea to ask for someone else’s perspective and to hone your own ideas of what’s correct depending on the situation. generalized statements are not inherently incorrect, which is why when making a claim like that i think you should make an effort to specify what you mean so that your point is actually effective, but they’re not going to be correct 100% of the time either. it’s almost always a case-by-case basis, so next time you see/hear something like that, it might help to think about where the point actually applies and where they might be directing their argument so that it’s easier to understand where it doesn’t apply as well.

[kinktae]

what were NOT gonna do is drag rose into this, when she obviously isn’t involved in the situation.

Anonymous said: Please don’t let that anon get to you rose! If you want this to be your happy place then we should all respect that. I see why they might feel that way but it’s not for us to decide how you deal with the situation

bigbangtansonyeondan said: Ew that anon is so gross. Rose is not even involved aside from just knowing the people. We all have friends who done shit and do shit and it’s your personal choice whether to stick with them and shape them up or ditch them. No judgement here Rose. Don’t let stinky anons mess with your happy place.

Anonymous said: hey u don’t have to post this but the other anon was really insensitive about the situation especially when u just mentioned u were going through anxiety. like do THEY agree with their family and friends 100% of the time? no, no one does and people can make mistakes. also they don’t know the situation behind the scenes and only see what’s posted online

Anonymous said: Disregard all the anons telling u to stop being friends with ur friends!! This whole thing is just messy and has many sides let’s just all be happy and hope this is settled / will settle soon

Anonymous said: People stop dragging Rose into the arguement. It was not her that made the mistake, and you can’t tell her to break her friendships, because that’s not your decision to make. It’s hers! Anyway… search up anxiety relief(ver) on spotify. You’ll find a few good playlists with songs that will help you sooth your anxiety. Love you ❤❤

Anonymous said: Im really sorry you have been suffering with anxiety at the moment.I know how you feel I’ve been through some tough times recently. But don’t worry i will get better.🥺🥰

Anonymous said: Hey! I hope you’re doing ok w this whole drama bs! I hope to see it resolved soon and honestly fuck ppl who are trying to drag u into it!!! It has nothing to do w u! I wanna spiritually give you a hug and a lil kiss on the head 💖 bc ur too sweet for this world (despite writing Amazing smut) I hope the rest of your week goes better!Anonymous said: Hi i am just here to send you some love. I know there was a messed up situation involving your friends but ultimately it’s not your place to worry about it. You have made your feelings clear and the rest is between them and that person. People need to get off the cancel bus and chill for a sec about issues that aren’t theirs, and stop dragging bystanders like yourself into the mix. Try to focus on you, on calm, happy and safe places. Lots of love 💕

bl00bts said: ok that last anon better back the fuck off. ‘If you don’t denounce their actions then you agree with them’. What A-class bullshit. Listen, your friends, yeah they sound like assholes but they’re still your friends. I can’t force you to not hang out with them, you guys are close. They’re very important in your life, I completely understand that. I just hope that you recognize that what they did wasn’t okay. Honestly, you shouldn’t be dragged into this, you weren’t doing anything wrong.

Anonymous said: hihi, you don’t have to respond to this, this is just for your solace. i don’t think you did anything wrong with all that’s happening. your friends are their own persons who make their own decisions and behave in the manner they choose. being friends with them doesn’t mean you agree with or condone their actions, and i can see how hard this must be for you because people expect you to take sides. i hope you can catch a break and your anxieties easy away :( ❤️

Anonymous said: i just want to say that i’m so sorry that people are giving you a bunch of shit on things that you have no control over. i honestly have no idea what’s going on and i really don’t want to know but i just want to say don’t listen to them and please don’t let them get to you 💜

Anonymous said: (this is continuing the other ask) but like how are u gonna call someone a clown and essentially insult them if that’s what u were against in the first place. it makes no sense. please don’t take it to heart ur a great writer and im sure a great person

Anonymous said: That anon was quite rude to you. You chose to not get involved( and weren’t even involved), and allowed them to “resolve” their issue amongst themselves. That anon IS NOT you in this situation. They don’t understand how you feel, so to come and say what YOU should do regarding this situation is not their place. I hope people think about what they say before they come to you with their opinions on a situation they have no direct involvement in.

Anonymous said: Y'all sending her hate is really uncalled for. She’s not involved in the situation. Y'all sending her shady shit via anon is the same thing y'all are getting mad at those writers for. Don’t say one thing then do that same thing. It ain’t cute. Leave her be.

Anonymous said: Hi Rose🥺 Ik you don’t know me but I love and support you and hope everything works out for you. You deserve the best. Tumblr isn’t a place for negativity. It should be a safe haven. It should just be a place where people come together for the things they love.

Anonymous said: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: Hey Rose! Im sending you lots of love and support 💜 you're loved and important and Im sorry you had an anxiety attack. Lots and lots of love

minyoongibabygirl said: Hey look I might not quite understand what's going on, but I'm going to always support you, you don't deserve the hate your getting. I love you, I purple you

Anonymous said: A) you’re amazing and b) I’m sorry people are harassing you about all this drama. Your friends are important and I can say that I don’t agree with everything my friends do but that doesn’t mean I end our relationship. You’re an amazing author and an even better person.

Anonymous said: I hope you’re doing okay right now, I have panic attacks too and it takes me a while to recover from them 💜

Forget what i said about tumblr being my happy place. You guys are my happy place. thank you to everyone who sent me in anons of love and to those that pm’d me privately to help me through my mental health shit. and again, i’m so so sorry for worrying you all. Please take care of yourself everyone

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

[franeridart]

Jack says "ignored YOUR rule". Does that mean it's something Bakugou obligates himself not to have or something non of them can have? I'm actually curious 🤔

It’s actually a rule Bakugou put down for himself for a number of reasons, half related to his own safety and the safety of the person he’s dating, the other half to the fact that Bakugou hates lying, but (again for safety reasons) he can’t just go around telling everyone what he’s doing - he doesn’t want a relationship in which he’d just contantly lie to his partner and ditch them for vigilante work without being able to explain them what’s going on, so he put down the rule as soon as he decided he wanted to do this. Well, he hadn’t been interested in relationships anyway before Kirishima, so it was an easy decision to take at the time - now though...

Ahhhh if only he figured out Kiri and Red are the same person smh that’d make everything so much easier on him

Anon said:When you draw Jiro and Bakugo having platonic hugs and cuddles my bi heart becomes incredibly soft THANK YOUUUUUUU

I’M HAPPY TO HEAR THAT cause honestly that’s as self-indulgent as I go hahaha

Anon said:The vigilante au is so far sad but I could totally see it going in a miraculous ladybug kinda direction. What if they tried putting distance between themselves and suddenly found that they're falling again, for the vigilante forms this time because "oh sh*t he's cute in every way Kirishima is" and "He's just my type too, Bakugou-- *sigh* I could use some moving on from him." Or only Kirishima moves to vigilante!Baku but he remains stuck on kiri..//Or what if like, vigilante! Kiribaku are about to get caught by a hero and Kirishima opens up about his last regret of not getting to see his crush one last time after they set distance between themselves, while Bakugou listens and...

That’s!!!! a lot of ideas you got there hahaha I’m glad you’re having fun with the concept!!!!!!

Anon said:That vigilante au is amazing. You really express emotions well in comics.

AAAAAHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH that!!!! honestly means the world to me *sob*

Anon said:I just want to say you're really cool and I like you art uh- K bye

Thank!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Oh damn. I think i fall in love for your Vigilantes AU. Please don't stop. I really love it❤️

I mean, as long as you guys are okay with it being a bit all over the place and also being just pencil doodles, then I got no problems doing that right now haha thank you for liking it!!

Anon said:I love your vigilantes AU so much 😍😍😍😍

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:LET THEM BE HAPPY !!!!

THAT’S THE PLAN!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:May I ask how you draw bakugous hair so well?? I just can’t seem to get the right amount of poof (or should I say BOOM💥 )

oHO I’m glad you like it cause actually the answer is I spent two years drawing it nearly daily and I finally sorta reached a place when I guess I’m okay with how I draw it lol some time ago I drew a step by step for it? but by now my process is mostly “do whatever and hope for the best”, which incidently is also my process in drawing Kirishima’s hair lmao

Anon said:Im a bit confused with the vigilante kiri, does he have black hair in his civilian form and red in his hero form?

YEH it’s one of the reasons why Bakugou still hasn’t figured out Red is Kiri haha thought if you’re asking for the logistics of that, I can’t say I spent too long thinking about it? We can always call it temporary hair dye spry or something like that, but to be fair it’s not like it matters all that much lmao I just needed Baku to be unable to tell it was him easily haha

Anon said:I love ur gem Au! :D are you gonna make more? Its okay if not :)

As I’ve said literally every single time I’ve answered asks since I posted it, MAYBE yes! The thing about that AU is that I love it and I have fun with it, but posting it ended up being the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, so honestly I don’t know when I’m gonna draw it if I’ll draw it, but the possibility is there

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to say I have love reading your comics and your art is amazing-- but I especially love your vigilantes AU! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!!

HECK thank you!!!! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it ;O;

Anon said:Why must you hurt us? I started crying at that vigilante au comic..

*passes u a blanket* I’ll try not to make it as sad in the future!

Anon said:Hi! I've purchased the take my hand book about a month ago, just wondering how long it takes for it to be delivered??? BTW I live in NZ so I understand if it takes a while~

Heck sorry anon but I’m so not good with dates, you should check the @takemyhandzine blog for that sorta stuff! Thank you so much for buying it tho!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Is Nico a cinnamon roll or a sinnamon roll?

That......... depends a lot on who you ask :0

Anon said:I love bnha more and more with every new character out. All that's left is to ask, which minor character is currently your favorite? (***That isn't from UA because that is a much bigger dilemma)

oUCH it would have been easier picking from UA actually since I’m pretty sure Amajiki is it hahaha well, if I can’t pick from UA...................... you know what, probably Shishikura

Anon said:Bakujiro friendship is something I didn’t know I NEEDED. U do good work bro

I’M SO GLAD YOU CAN GET BEHIND THAT!!!!!

Anon said:Your art gives me life!!! Every time you post is just so unique in every way :00000 ❤️ anyway i just wanted to let you know that you’re inspiring in every way and that I absolutely adore your kiribaku art to the moon and back!!!

SOB thank you so much???? You’re so sweet!!!! ;O;

Anon said:FRAN!!! YOUR LATEST KIRIBAKU ART KILLED ME (in a good way) HONESTLY YOU IMPROVED SO MUCH SINCE I FIRST STARTED FOLLOWING YOU, IT MOTIVATES ME TO KEEP DRAWING!! THANK YOU

HELL ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH I’M SO GLAD MY FUMBLING AROUND IN THE ART WORLD IS INSPIRING FOR YOU ???? LET’S BOTH KEEP DOING OUR BEST!!!!!

Anon said:fran you could convince me to ship anything with one (1) drawing

Since I got this ask I’ve been trying to find the most outrageous ship just to draw it and test this theory.......... I still haven’t found something outrageous enough but.... soon

Anon said:Hi your art is amazing also beautiful As you probably might know there is a traitor in the show, if you didn't know well then im sorry for spoiling. May I request a traitor kirishima

nnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry anon but the traitor theory arts are stuff I just can’t get behind, mostly so if it’s my fav characters - I don’t find it credible and I don’t find any joy in dwelling in the idea, so I got zero motivation to draw for it orz

Anon said:I can't believe you made me read the phrase "startle and explosion out of baku". (Yay for the vigilantes AU!)

LMAO he’s actually trying to do just that tho, maybe I’ll draw it hahaha

Anon said:Please! I need more BakuKiriKami fan art! I’m gunna die without it!

Anon I’m gonna be very real with you here my first reaction to reading this ask was thinking “then perish”

Anon said:Hello! I don't know if you've gotten this question before but have you ever considered drawing the villains?

I’ve drawn Dabi and Twice in the past! I’m not really much intereste in any other villain atm tho so I doubt I’m gonna be drawing them any time soon ^^’’

Anon said:You are by far my favorite artist. Your Kiribaku gives life to my bleak exsistence. Thank you. I bought some of your things of redbubble to make me happy!

AHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I'm a big fan of your work and your kiribaku fluff especially, and I've been working on a (not so innocent) fic about Bakugou having burnt marshmallow smelling and tasting sweat, (funny how nitroglycerin is a natural lubricant, tastes and smells like burnt sugar, and is explosive) just wanted to know if you ever thought about it? also wanted to know if you'd like to read my finished fic, should be done real soon and it would mean a lot to know what you think about it!

Anon I’m so sorry but I really can’t say yes to this - especially because you said it means a lot to you, you’re putting me in a spot here where in case I didn’t like it I wouldn’t be able to tell you so anyway (and I generally don’t like talking about fancontent I don’t give a 10/10 to anyway, it’s too rude for me) and I’m sure it’s gonna be a great fic! But by the way you talked about it it’s gonna be a nsfw fic and I really rarely like those fics, so !!! orz I’m sorry, but this is a really uncomfortable request for me ;;;

Anon said:Can I use your art real quick if I hard out credit u? It's alright if I can't

Nope, sorry

Anon said:Could you draw another doodle of Setsuna?. I love how you draw her jfvdkd ;;v;; (Sorry if my English is trash.)

Not right now, but in the future yeah sure, I love her!

Anon said:Your Kirishima is so beautiful i fucking cry omg ;-; thank you for brightening my morning.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; thank you for liking how I draw him !!!!

Anon said:💛💛💛💛 Thank you for sharing your art, it always makes my day

Thank YOU for liking it!!!!!

Anon said:In your SU AU what if a gem offers to replace Kiri with a 'newer, better pearl'? How would Bakugo react?

Actually, Kiri was given to Bakugou specifically because he’s sorta defective, it was punishment for both of them that sorta backfired lmao 

Anon said:hi there! I'm new to your blog and I love your art style immensely! I saw somewhere with your latest seroroki post that you're still finding your main todoship; I hope I dont sound rude or pushy, but can I ask your opinions about todo*aku and/or tod*kir*baku? If not, thank you for your time! Keep up the great work!!

Still not completely sold on romantic tdbk tbh (platonic tho, that’s my jam) but I’ve been real into the ot3 lately!!! It just can’t be my main todo ship bc I still prefer krbk too much over it haha

Anon said:I loveeee your art, especially your kiribaku stuff! But consider! Size difference! What if Kirishima grows a lot but our lil' Baku doesn't? Does he get jealous or does he really like it? There'd be some epic hugs/kisses! What if he secretly loves getting picked up by Kirishima? XD

Oh that’s an hc I see around a lot! Personally I stil prefer them sorta the same size tho ???? with the only difference being Baku being lithe and Kiri being a tank, I think it has to do with the whole “complementary equals” theme they have going on, I like for it to be visually represented too ??? maybe, I had never really thought about the hows or whys of this preference tbh lmao

Anon said:Hey so I'm not up to date with BNHA but in your asks there was a thing about dragon boy having a zombie costume? I had another look at what I think is the right doodle and to me it looks like a Chinese vampire costume! (unless that's not the one you guys were talking about oops)

Nope that’s him, and you’re right!!! Either way my boy still hasn’t done anything worth of note, so I still don’t know why he’s dressed like that orz Hori plssss