#air jordan 34

[instructionsonback]

SHOP: gettothecorner.com/welcome/luckytatum

[ashenxrogue]

No one asked me, but here's why Childe Ajax Tartaglia probably isn't 34

To preface this, no, I have not read the 4.2 story leaks, I have no plans to, and frankly, I don't care what they say as they do not change the following math. It could literally say point-blank that Childe is 34, and I would not agree with it.

I'm just here cause I found the 14+20 argument illogical. (14 being the age he fell into the abyss and 20 being the number of years ago that the disappearances started in Fontaine)

And a fair warning, I am bad at reading what my tone is unless it is blatant. If any of this sounds hostile, it was not my intent, and I am likely unaware that it reads as such. This is just how I write when I am trying to be as clear and understandable as possible.

So, why is it unlikely that Childe is 34? It's because of his mother and his number of siblings.

Childe has 3 named younger siblings and an unknown number of older siblings. 2 being the bare minimum and at least 3 being the more probable based on the original Chinese. And, because Chinese is not something I know how to translate correctly beyond a basic level, here's the copy/paste directly from the wiki explaining why Childe most likely has at least 3 older siblings.

As noted above, the Chinese version of "Tartaglia's Letters to Home" mentions 哥哥姐姐们 "older brother(s) and sister(s)," suggesting he has at least one of each. In "Character Story 5", he is called the 三子 "third son," which suggests that he has two older brothers and an unknown number of older sisters. Alternatively, the term 三子 "third son" could be ambiguous and indicate that he is the third child with two older siblings of unspecified gender. Combined with the clue from his letter to home, this would suggest he has one older brother and one older sister, but this possibility is less likely given the interpretation of the original Chinese. His phrasing of 哥哥姐姐们, with the plural marker 们, would be an unlikely way to refer to a single older brother and a single older sister; it instead suggests he has more than one of either older brothers or older sisters (or both). If he only had one of each, he most likely would have simply written 哥哥姐姐 without the plural marker. Therefore, the most likely possibility is still that he has two older brothers and at least one older sister.

Now, time for the math featuring hypothetical ages for Childe's siblings and mother. To be generous, I will be using ages at the extreme ends of the possible ranges, favoring the ends that make it more possible for Childe to be 34, saying that he has exactly 3 older siblings, that none of them were twins, and while also taking into consideration their mother's health and wellbeing.

First, we have to determine how old those 3 older siblings are. I will be giving each a 2.5ish-year age gap, as it is suggested that someone wait 18-24 months before becoming pregnant again. So for our hypothetical math, I'll say the oldest sibling is 40.

For their mother, I'll be going with 18 as the age she had her first child. (This is as low as I am willing to go; personally, I think this number should be at least 20, if not higher.)

So, for her to have a 40-year-old child, she currently would be 58.

But we're not done; we have the 3 younger siblings to add. To simplify things, I will only focus on Tuecer since he is the youngest, so his age is the only one that matters. The general consensus (that I also agree with) is that Tuecer is somewhere between the ages of 8-12; I will be using 12.

At 58, their mother then would have been 46 when she had Tuecer.

While this is not impossible, at this age, their mother is 6 years into the potential range of beginning menopause and has an extremely low rate of 3-4% at most of successfully becoming pregnant.

This is incredibly low and is the youngest their mother could be if we set Childe's age to 34 without endangering her health.

Their mother's age if Childe is 10 years younger? 48, setting her at 36 when she would have hypothetically had Tuecer and outside of the potential onset of menopause and that 3-4% rate of pregnancy occurring.

So, statistically speaking, it is incredibly unlikely that Childe is 34; thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[girlactionfigure]

🔅Tuesday evening - ISRAEL REALTIME - Connecting to Israel in Real Time

🔻ROCKETS - from Lebanon, Hezbollah - Burkan heavy rockets - at Ita a Sha’ev.

🔻ROCKETS - from Lebanon, Hezbollah - Kaytushas (LOTS) - at Rosh HaNikra, Betzek, Hanita, Metzuba, Shlomi, Zarit, Shomera, Arab al Aramshe, Ga’aton, Kill, Shtula, Netua, Alkosh, Matat, Fassuta, Hurfeish

🔻ANTI-TANK MISSILES - from Lebanon, Hezbollah - at IDF post by Malkia, at Arab al Aramsha, 

▪️ANALYST WARNING.. due to the Israel attacks at depth in Lebanon, there is a likelihood of a Hezbollah attack at depth in Israel (in the tit-for-tat process).  Tevera, Afula, Haifa and surrounds should be on higher alert - know your shelter options wherever you are.

▪️SAUDI SAYS.. Israel’s attack on Baalbek, Lebanon took out Hezbollah’s advanced drone warehouses.

▪️PORTABLE SHELTERS.. seen being deployed in Haifa. Older Haifa does not have in-building shelters.

▪️HOSTAGE DEAL LEAKS.. Qatar: We are far from an agreement.

▪️HOSTAGE MURDERED.. Itai Che, 19, from Netanya, has been determined to have been murdered having been captured by Hamas on Oct. 7.  May his family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, and may G-d avenge his blood!  His body remains held by Hamas.

Officially 34 hostages have been murdered, unofficially 59 are known murdered.

▪️GAZA.. massive battle in Deir al Balach, including airstrikes.

▪️COUNTER-TERROR.. battle in Orif, near Shechem.  Forces entered Jenin, firefight and explosions, electricity cut to an area, shoulder fired rockets by our forces.

▪️AID VIA SHIP.. Pentagon press briefing: Q: Does the DoD anticipate that Hamas will try to fire on them, on the (JLOTS instant port and pier and aid by ship) operation?

US General Ryder: “Look, I mean, that's certainly a risk, again, but if Hamas truly does care about the Palestinian people, one would hope that this international mission to deliver aid to people who need it would be able to happen unhindered.”

▪️AID VIA AIR.. Another air drop into the ocean by Jordan for Gaza.

▪️YEMEN SAYS.. “military operations will escalate during the month of Ramadan”.

[roosterforme]

roosterforme's fic challenge #love is in the air tgm

Let's celebrate Valentine's Day the Top Gun way! Choose a love song, any love song that you want, and write a fic about one or more of our favorite Top Gun characters!

Rules:

Please use the #love is in the air tgm hashtag!!!

Once you have your song selected (first come, first served, no duplicates), please send me an ask letting me know which song and character(s) you want to write about. If your song is not listed below, just let me know what you want with your ask and I’ll add it (within reason, of course). If your song has been claimed already, I'll let you know so you can choose another one

You can use the song in the fic however you would like. Use it as the title, use some lyrics, have the song playing in the background, anything you want!

Minimum word count: 1k

There is no real time limit, but please try to post around Valentine's Day, or during the month of February.

Please make sure you tag me (or send me a message) when you post your story so I don’t miss it. I can’t wait to read and reblog!

Please reblog and share this with anyone who may want to participate

If you’re under 18, do not submit or read smut

Songs are listed after the cut:

If you don't see a song you like, send me an ask and I will add it for you!

Current Playlist:

1 @familyvideostevie Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye (Bradley)

2 @semperhuggs Perfect by Ed Sheeran (Jake)

3 @bradshawsbitch You're My Best Friend by Queen (Bob)

4 @gretagerwigsmuse Everlasting Love by Love Affair (Bradley)

5 @bradshawsbaby My Girl by The Temptations (Hannix)

6 @wkndwlff Slow Dancing by Aly & AJ (Jake)

7 @beyondthesefourwalls Wildflowers & Wine by Marcus King (Bradley)

8 @roosterforme Hello, I Love You by The Doors (Bradley)

9 @hangmanbrainrot At Last by Etta James (Jake)

10 @cherrycola27 Desire by U2 (Bradley)

11 @theharddeck Yours by Russell Dickerson (Jake)

12 @bradshawsbaby Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Frankie Valli (Bradley)

13 @wildbornsiren Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis (Bob)

14 @thedroneranger Talk You Out of It by Florida Georgia Line (Jake)

15 @whisperofsong Late Night Talking by Harry Styles (Jake)

16 @mothdruid Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars (Javy)

17 @sometimesanalice Like I Can by Sam Smith (Bradley)

18 @little-wiseone Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding (Jake)

19 @bolaurel You Can't Hurry Love by The Supremes (Bradley)

20 @high-bi-imgonnacry Next Thing You Know by Jordan Davis (Jake)

21 @thedroneranger Kind of Love We Make by Luke Combs (Bradley)

22 @cherrycola27 Burning Up by the Jonas Brothers (Jake)

23 @laracrofted Delicate by Taylor Swift (Bob)

24 @beyondthesefourwalls The Good I’ll Do by Zach Bryan (Jake)

25 @cherrycola27 Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez (Bradley)

26 @blackwidownat2814 All of Me by John Legend (Jake)

27 @godsfavoritebabe Endless Love by Luther Vandross (Bradley)

28 @cassiemitchell Friends Don’t by Maddie and Tae (Jake)

29 @sylviebell Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift (Rooster x Phoenix)

30 @madsnowstorm Beyond by Leon Bridges ft Luke Combs (Jake)

31 @jynxmirage If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys (Bradley)

32 @bussyslayer333 Lovefool by The Cardigans (Bob)

33 @desert-fern La Dah Dee by Cody Simpson (Jake)

34 @cassiemitchell Worldwide by Big Time Rush (Bradley)

35 @jynxmirage Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton (Jake)

36 @desert-fern Dandelions by Ruth B (Natasha)

37 @avaleineandafryingpan Like My Father by Jax (Bob)

38 @roosters-girl Just What I Needed by The Cars (Bradley)

39 @hangmanstigerlily Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon (Jake)

40 @call-sign-shark Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer (Mav)

41 @myfaveficrecs I'll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men (Bradley)

42 @roosterforme The Kind of Girl I Could Love by The Monkees (Bob)

43 @rae-gar-targaryen This Old Heart of Mine by the Isley Brothers (Mickey)

44 @shrimping-for-all Letters by Why Don’t We (Bradley)

45 @bradshawsbitch Secret Love Song by Little Mix (Natasha)

46 @floyd-luvr About You by The 1975 (Bob)

47 @floyd-luvr Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell (Bradley)

48 @semperhuggs Need You Tonight by INXS (IceMav)

49 @nocapesdahling You Send Me by Sam Cooke (Jake)

50 @nocapesdahling By Your Side by Sade (Bradley)

51 @ssprayberrythings Black and White by Niall Horan (Jake)

52 @daughterofautumn All You Need Is Love by The Beatles (Mickey)

53 @daughterofautumn Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA (Bob)

54 @callsignseagull I love you by JP Saxe (Jake)

55 @gennyanydots Untouched by The Veronicas (Bradley)

56 @gennyanydots Here In Your Arms by Hellogoodbye (Bob)

57 @thebirdandthebee Congratulations by Mac Miller (Bradley)

58 @endofdays56 Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx (Bob)

59 @notroosterbradshaw These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding (Bradley)

60 @avengers-fixation I Don't Wanna Set the World On Fire by VoicePlay (Jake)

61 @amysteryspot I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston (Bradley)

62 @beyondthesefourwalls I Don't Love You Like I Used To by John Legend (Javy)

63 @valhallaas Love Me Tender by Elvis (Jake)

64 @daughterofautumn Your Body Is a Wonderland by John Mayer (Mickey)

65 @hangmans-wingman I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith (Jake)

66 @tongue-like-a-razor Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden (Bradley)

67 @tongue-like-a-razor I Wish It Would Rain Down by Phil Collins (Jake)

68 @hurricanerex666 Kiss Goodnight by I Don't Know How But They Found Me (Bradley)

69 @roosterbruiser Fruits of My Labor by Lucinda Williams (Jake)

Songs You May Want To Use:

At Last by Etta James

Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer

Desire by U2

Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye

Just What I Needed by The Cars

You Can't Hurry Love by The Supremes

Late Night Talking by Harry Styles

I'll Make Love To You Boyz II Men

Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis

Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Frankie Valli

Beautiful Stranger by Madonna

Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding

Lovefool by The Cardigans

Best I Ever Had by Drake 

Perfect by Ed Sheeran

Love Story by Taylor Swift

All You Need Is Love by The Beatles

Need You Tonight by INXS

I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston

All Of Me by John Legend

Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars

My Girl by The Temptations

[beardedmrbean]

LAS VEGAS (KLAS) – 18 men have been arrested following a multi-agency undercover operation targeting child sex predators in North Las Vegas.

Those arrested were: Andres Herrera-Rodriguez, 34; Trevor Moody, 24; Jordan James, 22; Jose Haro Castaneda, 46; Jacob Miller, 23; Jesse Baca, 37; Marc Carofano III, 28; Giovanni Cruz, 30; Renato Moreno, 45; Arcenio Lagas Jr., 24; Jaret Ward, 26; Andrew Naranjo, 31; Jason Creech, 48; Wilberth Maldecino, 32; Roy Romero, 30; Leon Park, 40 and Manuel Cruz, 29. They all face charges for luring a minor with a computer to engage in sex.

In addition, Michael Reider, 60, was arrested and faces a charge of Attempt Sexual Assault of a Minor under 14.

It took place on Aug. 22 and 23 as part of a joint operation with Las Vegas Metro police, the FBI, North Las Vegas police, Henderson Police, Homeland Security Investigations, US Air Force Office of Special Investigation, and the Nevada Attorney General who participated in organizing and conducting the operation.

Police urge parents to discuss with their children the dangers of online chats with strangers. Parents are encouraged to routinely monitor their children’s activity on social media and other online applications to prevent them from becoming victims of child sex predators. This operation was conducted as part of the ongoing efforts to reduce violent crime and protect children in our community.

Anyone who may have been a victim of any of these subjects or has information about their crimes is urged to contact the LVMPD Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force by phone at 702-828-3111. To remain anonymous, contact Crime Stoppers by phone at 702-385-5555

[magz]

Palestine Summary June 13 to June 27, 2024. From LetsTalkPalestine. (Part 1, June 13 to 19. Part 2 in reblog)

Related Helpful Links: [LetsTalkPalestine Links (including vetted information sources)] [gazafunds.com] [eSims for Gaza] [UNRWA] [Decolonize Palestine, learning basics and debunking myths]

Summary Quote:

June 13

Day 251

‼️ IOF killed 3 Palestinians in raid on Jenin (West Bank), incl. 2 by IOF attack on home w/ missiles & bulldozing 

•⁠ 30 Palestinians killed, 105 injured in past day 

🤐 Israel’s military chief held secret meeting w/ military leaders from Bahrain, UAE, Saudi Arabia, Jordan & Egypt 

💰 Israel seized $35m of Palestinian Authority tax revenue from West Bank Palestinians to transfer to Israelis — likely destabilizing the PA & cause financial crisis. Background on PA: https://tinyurl.com/3fmhaav3

🇱🇧 Hezbollah launched round of attacks incl. firing 150 missiles & ambushed IOF army vehicle killing soldiers inside as tensions escalate after Israel killed senior Hezbollah commander

•⁠ Central Gaza: Israel attacked “designated humanitarian zone” al-Mawasi by air, land & sea. More attacks on Nuseirat kills 4 & injures 10 + separate attack killed 1 & injured 7

•⁠ Israeli airstrikes on Gaza City (north) kills 7 in Daraj; kills 1 in Zeitoon; kills 3 women in Shati

June 14.

Day 252

‼️ Israeli-made starvation ‘returns’ to north Gaza as Israel imposes harsher aid blockade since early May, this time causing even more dire conditions yet receiving less coverage. 200,000+ kids have shown symptoms of malnutrition

•⁠ 34 Palestinians killed, 71 injured in Gaza in past day 

🔻 Hamas claims blew up house w/ IOF soldiers inside in Gaza City (north), killing & wounding them + targeted IOF tank west of Rafah

•⁠ Hamas announced Israeli airstrike on Rafah killed 2 Israeli captives

🇺🇸 US sanctions Israeli group (Tzav 9) known for facilitating the blocking & damaging of aid trucks going to Gaza

•⁠ Central Gaza: IOF fired at fishing boats northwest of Khan Younis, killing 2. Strike on home in Deir el-Balah killed 2 & injured 4

•⁠ West Bank: IOF injured 12 y/o amid raid on el-Bireh + IOF abduct 13 y/o in Jenin raid

🇱🇧 Amid rising tensions, Hezbollah fired 60+ projectile+ + Israel air raided south Lebanon killing 1 woman, injuring 7

June 15.

Day 253

🔻 8 IOF soldiers killed by Hamas ambush in Rafah, most successful attack on Israeli forces in months. Another soldier killed separately in Rafah

•⁠ 30 Palestinians killed, 95 wounded in Gaza in the past 24 hours

•⁠ Israeli raid on Gaza City (north) targets 3 homes killing 19+ Palestinians incl. a baby & injured 50

🛳️ US pier to be temporarily removed again due to expected high waves & stormy seas, halting its aid delivery

•⁠ 50,000+ children in Gaza suffer from acute malnutrition due to Israel’s aid blockade 

💧⁠ 1 million people in south Gaza trapped without clean water & sanitation

•⁠ 9 dead Palestinians found buried under rubble in Rafah after various Israeli airstrikes. IOF bulldozers demolish homes destroyed by Israeli airstrikes west of Rafah

•⁠ West Bank: Israeli forces shot & killed Palestinian teen amid raid of Nablus (West Bank); IOF withdraw from Beita (near Nablus) raid after storming homes & threw tear gas; IOF injured 2 & abducted 1 during raid of Ramallah

June 16.

Day 254 - Eid 

🕌 Israel restricted access to Al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem on Eid. IOF assaulted many worshippers

•⁠ 41 Palestinians killed, 102 injured in Gaza in past 24 hours

•⁠ Israeli army to have ‘daily tactical pauses’ on main road in Rafah to allow aid delivery, clarifying doesn’t mean stop to ‘fighting’. Netanyahu reportedly wasn’t told of the decision & expressed disapproval. Implementing pauses not guaranteed. Bombings continue on Rafah, 2 killed & targeting responding ambulances

•⁠ Central Gaza: Israel targeted home in Bureij killing 9 incl. 5 kids + bomb homes in al-Mughraqa

🔻 2 more IOF soldiers killed in tank explosion in north Gaza yesterday. 1 other soldier killed in Rafah

West Bank:

•⁠ Settlers raid homes & assault residents injuring 1 in Al-Jubiyah; set fire to Palestinian land in Nablus; attacked cars in Ramallah

•⁠ IOF raid Tubas, fired at civilians injured 1 + abducted 3. IOF detained 7 y/o boy near Ramallah 

•⁠ IOF abduct 69 Palestinians in past week

June 17.

Day 255

•⁠ Despite announced “tactical pauses” of attacks for aid trucks, IOF massacred 8+ Palestinians waiting for trucks in Rafah & continued shelling across Rafah killing 2. Only 8 aid trucks entered south Gaza today (minimum is 500/day)

•⁠ 10 Palestinians killed, 73 injured in Gaza in last 24 hours. Likely underreported 

•⁠ IOF fully raze east Rafah, destroying homes & farmland + destroyed Rafah crossing departure hall to keep it non-operational

🇬🇧 UK arms export licenses to Israel drop >95% since Oct

🐀 Netanyahu dissolves 6-seat war cabinet

•⁠ IOF says it has control of 60% of Rafah, but contradicted by ongoing fierce clashes w/ Hamas & Saturday ambush that killed 8 soldiers

🥺 IOF in “urgent need for more troops”, creating new division for age 40+

⛺️ London School of Economics 1st British uni to evict pro-Palestine encampment. Despite less media coverage, encampments are still spreading across UK & world

•⁠ Gaza City (north): attack on home killed 2, injured 13; another attack killed 3

June 18.

Day 256

‼️ AP: several families in Gaza have been fully wiped out since Oct. Over 60 families had 25+ members killed

•⁠ 25 Palestinians killed, 80 injured in past day

•⁠ Israel bombed Nuseirat overnight killing 17 in 2 separate attacks on buildings housing displaced families + injured taken to Al-Aqsa Hospital that faces lack of fuel, medical supplies & capacity

🇫🇷 Court overturns gov’t ban on Israeli firms at a big French arms fair, said ban is discriminatory. Israeli arms leader admits ban still hurt Israel’s image

🔻 Fierce clashes in Rafah; Hamas claims launching series of attacks on IOF HQ + targeted 2 IOF tanks

West Bank: 

•⁠ Israeli settler attack by throwing stones at vehicle in Jericho injuring passengers + another attack in Nablus injured 2 Palestinians

•⁠ IOF shot & killed man in Bethlehem; shot 3 young men in Hebron; beat up 46 y/o man at Tubas checkpoint

•⁠ IOF abducted a dozen Palestinians in raid on Nablus & interrogated them overnight + abducted 16 y/o in Hebron

June 19. Day 257

•⁠ Israel bombed group of aid seekers near Karem Abu Salem crossing in Rafah, killing 9+ & injuring 30+. 2 Palestinians also killed in west Rafah. While heavy shelling on tents in 'safe zone' al-Mawasi killed 7+ where many fled from Rafah

•⁠ 24 Palestinians killed, 71 injured in Gaza yesterday

🇱🇧 IOF approved military plan for an offensive on south Lebanon, US vows to back Israel

🇩🇪 Germany's intel agency labels BDS movement as 'suspected extremist'

•⁠ Airstrikes & IOF vehicles targeted homes in Nuseirat killing 5+

💧 Conditions in north Gaza worsen due to lack of water as Israeli forces destroyed all water wells & hindered water aid distribution

•⁠ Multiple airstrikes on Gaza City (north) incl. bombing home in Sabra neighborhood killing several & trapping many under rubble. 2 also killed by drone strike

West Bank:

•⁠ IOF abducted 90 people during Eid, incl. children & women

•⁠ IOF shot 4 Palestinians amid raid on Qalqiliya, incl. 2 teens & elderly

[haljordangreenjedi]

lets talk about military rank + hal jordan

spawned by my inability to let sleeping dogs lie, and in response to the ask @wajjs​ got, with them egging me on, i think it's time to explain military ranks and how they apply to the various iterations of hal jordan.

first things first, each branch has their own way of breaking down ranks. a captain in the air force ≠ a captain in the navy. more on that later. the second thing you need to know is that an officer (designations O-1 to O-10) outranks enlisted personnel (E-1 to E-9). A person can move from enlisted to officer ranks, but it requires a lot of time in service or generally speaking, a college degree. the third thing that you must know is that all pilots are officers. this means that they have some sort of college degree (a 4-year bachelor’s), from a normal university, or a service academy, and they have gone through OTS as well as flight school. 

hal jordan usually appears to be assigned the rank of lieutenant:

(as seen in superman: space age.)

OR, and i believe this is the last time his rank was addressed in the main continuity, they say that he is a captain in the air force:

(this is from a Geoff Johns run, GL Vol. 4).

now, in the air force, there are two ranks of lieutenant, and they are the lowest of the officer ranks. those would be the second lieutenant (O-1) and first lieutenant (O-2), and you are commissioned as a second lieutenant upon graduation from OTS—Officer Training School, which can also be referred to as OCS (Officer Candidate School). the shortest amount of time that anyone can spend as a second lieutenant before a promotion is 18 months. then, they are required to spend two years as a first lieutenant (O-2). the next promotion in the air force is to O-3, captain. for the next few promotions, from O-3 to O-5, it's a minimum of three years in each rank. so that’s three years as a captain, three years as a major (O-4), and three years as a lieutenant colonel (O-5). the final rank I am going to talk about here is a colonel, O-6, and that’s because colonel is the highest rank that one can hold in the air force and still actively fly as a pilot. there is only a one-year minimum of service prior to promotion beyond colonel, which means at that point, the service member has at least 12.5 years in. factor in four years for college/the academy, and they would be 34-35, assuming they started at the age of 18. 

why did i just spend all this time explaining that? well, what we know of hal’s rank can be used to get a better estimate as to what his age is supposed to be in canon. 

as far as the alternate universe of superman: space age, i believe it's reasonable to figure that hal would be between 23 and 25 years old. we don’t have any specification as to what rank of lieutenant he would be, but if you figure he graduated with a degree around the age of 22 and then factor in time for flight school, I would say 23 is the minimum. and if he hadn’t been promoted to first lieutenant yet, he would have been well on his way. 

then, with main continuity, it gets a bit harder, because there are less markers for the real passage of time, and they don’t say how many years have passed since hal’s discharge. however, the same reasoning applies, and hal would have been between 25 and 28 years old when he was discharged from the military. i don’t know if i would say it has been fifteen years since hal popped his commanding officer in the jaw, because the reality of the military letting someone in their 40′s back in just doesn’t fit much with the culture that i know. but, DC doesn’t always do their research on the reality of some subjects, i know, because im still mad about the whole dishonorable discharge concept. but that’s a story for another day.

the last thing that i want to do is double back to what i said about ranking in the different branches. this is largely because i know everyone likes to say that hal loves top gun and sometimes i think it would make more sense for him to be a naval aviator than an air force pilot. as I mentioned, a captain in the air force is an O-3. well, captain in the navy is an O-6 designation, so a naval captain is equal rank with an air force colonel. in the navy, O-1 is an ensign (ENS), O-2 is a lieutenant junior grade (LTJG—sometimes people just say lieutenant JG), O-3 is a lieutenant (LT), O-4 is a lieutenant commander (LCDR), and O-5 is a commander (CDR). another key difference is that the air force has generals, while the navy has admirals.

i’m not going to go into detail on how the air force handles educating its pilots, or the road to becoming one, but i did find a good article explaining the steps here.

if you have any questions or more references to hal’s career, I would be happy to talk about them, just head over to my ask box.

[moodymisty]

Hello, Jordan! I love the stories you write, at least the ones I have read (I didn’t want to spam you, so, I only reblogged one of your Crosshair stories)! I was reading your kinks and thought to myself I might have an interesting idea for a story if you are interested in it, of course!

So, I am a big fan of Alpha (ARC Commander Alpha from the comics) and Captain Fordo (From the 2003 cartoon). I haven’t seen you write for them, or talk of them, but your bio says you are a reader of the lore, if I am lucky enough would you be willing to write my thot for one of them? If not, that is fine.

Here is the idea:

The female reader is one of many civilians that join the Republic military following the first year of the war, and she trains and fights alongside (your choice of clone). She often disappears to remote areas of the base or Star Destroyer to write her own fantasies of being with (choice of clone). But this time, she can’t seem to find her data pad (I think that’s what it is called) in her footlocker that sat in front of her bunk. Not wanting to ask anyone who was in the barracks, she slightly panics until (choice of clone) clears his throat. Turning around slowly, she is horrified to see her data pad in the hands of the clone she often masturbated too.

-end

I was going over the kinks you have listed and picked out a few. I used their numbers so, please forgive me for being lazy. Of course, you can pick and choose, mix, and match. Since I picked them based off what I know or feel like these particular clones are like.

3, 9, 13, 18, 20, 25, 34, 40 and 41, 54, and lastly 72. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

With much love,

Notthatfanfictionwriter

Author's Note: Awww I'm so honored you like my stuff!! And don't worry about spamming me, it flatters me so much to see people people spamming my notifs i take it as a compliment. Lord knows i've done it before to people on this webbed site. ALSO.... fordofordofordofordofordo I love Alpha but Fordo. This was a fun experiment in making the smuttiness in the form of daydreams/thoughts, rather than actually happening. I hope you and everyone else enjoys the style change. I've also never written for Fordo before, so I hope it's ok...;

Relationships: Fordo/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Oral (Male receiving), a tiny reference to Face fucking, a tiny bit of dirty talking/voice kink, daydreaming,

''You're going to shoot yourself in the foot one day, if you keep whipping your blasters around like that."

Packing up your rifle in it's case, you look over to the clones beside you; Oone of whom was playing around with his blasters in a way that was a bit too reckless for your liking. He gives you a bit of a dirty look, while one of the other clones in his group claps his hands together and prays: 'Please let that happen please, that would be hilarious'.

His reaction makes you let out a chuff of air as a laugh, while his friend basks in his irritation. Turning away, you call the target plate you'd been using back to you, so you can clean and finish up. It's absolutely full of holes and well used, throwing it in the trash now that you're done training on it.

Maybe it would be a stretch to call it training however; As it's more just keeping yourself entertained and from getting even the tiniest bit rusty. Hyperspace is boring, especially when there isn't much to entertain yourself on a ship this large. At least planet side on base, you have some fresh air and maybe if you're lucky, you'll see a rare animal or two.

Taking your rifle case and leaving the practice range, it's a struggle to not let all the white and grey of the walls, ceiling, and floors, all blend into a blurry mess. It's quite late and the ships lights are dimmed slightly lower, in a way to poorly simulate a regular day night cycle. As such, it's late. You don't know how many hours it's been since you've last gotten some rest, but it's long enough that you're going to make a straight line right to your tiny little broom closet of a room, and lay down.

"You're going somewhere fast,"

You only look up one you realize they're speaking to you, seeing familiar red painted armor. One of Fordo's men, judging by the particular markings. His standing guard at his station at the crossroads of two hallways, the other person that should be with him seems to be missing from his post at the moment.

"Got bored at the range, and no one's roped me into training against yet. So I'm gonna try and get some shut eye." The trooper nods, his one note chuckle distorted ever so slightly be the reverb of his helmet.

"Don't let me keep you." You wouldn't mind having a chat but, unfortunately your thin, cold bed is a bit more tempting at the moment.

"Tell Fordo I said hi?" His hands shift on his rifle, nodding. "Will do. I'm sure he'll be glad to hear it." Nodding you take your leave, not keeping the trooper from his duties any longer.

While it can admittedly be a bit lonely at times being one of a few civilian fighters aboard a vessel full to the brim with clones, but at least you have your barracks to get away from it sometimes. A nice part about it being that only half of the beds in it have actually been claimed, and with the ship's work rotations always moving, it's not uncommon for you to be completely alone at times.

Punching in the code and entering once again it seems everyone's gone, at least until someone has the same idea as you to steal a little time for yourself. On a Venator class ship you're always on call, but at least for this moment, you're free. It probably won't last long at all but at least you can enjoy this moment of freedom, for as long as you have it.

Grabbing your personal datapad from your locker you decide that in your rare moment you'd work on a bit of a personal hobby. Maybe you can write a little bit before you get too tired to keep your eyes open.

It's more a guilty pleasure than anything; Some self indulgence during a phase where you have little to no time to yourself.

None of this will ever, ever see any eyes beyond yours, as it's meant just for you to enjoy.

It would be mortifying for anyone to lay eyes on it, just in general, let alone if they realized the main male character served as little more than a fog over what was pretty much Fordo down to the atom.

Gods, you were inconsolable. In the dark writing dirty little stories about you and the man you're infatuated with, your commanding officer, you might as well hide under the covers and sneak around as if trying not to get caught.

Opening the current thing you've been toiling away on you read all the way to where you had previously stopped; Right before things were starting to get good. Biting the inside of your cheek your fingers slowly type, trying to put your sordid thoughts to words.

The heat of your breath brushes over the harsh material of his armor, almost fogging it. You can feel his gloved hand on you, cradling the crown of your head with a firm pressure. He keeps that pressure, ever increasing, until your lips drag against the fabric of his flightsuit. The waterline of your bottom lip touches the fabric just for a moment, leaving a tiny darkened stain of spit.

The room has been nearly silent other than two sets of gentle breathes, but when he finally does speak, the deep rumble of his voice cuts through the still air like a vibroknife. It makes your thighs tense, pressing together as you feel the thumb of your heart beat in your cunt.

"Take it off for me. Or do you like the feeling?"

He doesn't have a name, but whenever you imagine him- it's always Fordo. It's so desperate and almost pathetic, but at least you keep your thoughts jotted down here instead of making a fool of yourself in the field.

Clumsy hands freeing his cock from the fabric you can feel the heat of it against your face; Against your lips as your wrap them around the tip. That unique taste, tongue against the head of his cock. His hand doesn't shove your head down to gag on him, but instead just serves as a weight, firm guidance as your lips slide down towards the base.

He keeps it slow, steady listening to the way your mouth makes the wettest, lewdest sounds as his hips twitch upward towards your mouth. He's only a small bit of pressure away from taking complete control, his chest rising and falling faster as he lets out a groan.

"Kriff; Come on, you can take a bit more. I know you can."

You know Fordo isn't talkative. He often times rarely if ever speaks until he absolutely has to. Would that change when he's exposed like this? Or would he continue to be a stalwart, silent man- peering down at you between his thighs?

Neither option is less preferable, but it's impossible to deny the desire to have your Commander 'command' you. That stern voice, maybe distorted by the echo of his helmet, or perhaps not, telling you in intimate detail what he wants you to do to him. Or what he wants to do to you.

Your mouth takes as much of him as you possibly can, the wet heat of your mouth pulling a low, shaking groan from him. Suddenly however he grips your hair and begins to pull you off of his cock, looking down at little stains of spit that dot either corner of your mouth.

"Enough of that. On the desk."

You can't resist the way your thighs press together just a little bit more at the ghostly voice of Fordo in your head saying such things.

Not as if there was ever a single bit of hesitation in your mind, you quickly come up off your knees, standing in front of him in the small space between his chair and the desk. With one hop you move to sit on it and watch as he stands, filling the space between your thighs. His hips force them to spread wider, hands moving to grip your hips and pull you close enough that you teeter just on the edge, grinding against him. You can feel the weight of his cock against your thigh, slick with your own spit.

His own hand lines himself up with your entrance, the other still harshly gripping your hip as he slowly, slowly-

Suddenly, a voice interrupts you from your thoughts before you can continue with them.

"Captain Fordo is requesting you in his quarters. Something about your next mission."

Your head suddenly turns on a swivel, only to see a trooper standing in the doorway of your small barracks. He's delivered his order and takes his leave before you even have a chance to recover from your surprise.

You have to go, as much as you might want to finish up what you'd been in the middle of. You decide to just roughly jot down the rest of what's in your mind, just so you don't forget.

Throwing your legs off the side of the bunk they hit the ground with a soft thud. You've been there multiple times, but not for anything close to the lewdness you think up when it's late. He's probably just going to update you on some innocuous report, before then dismissing you. As much as you would hope it would be a little bit more exciting.

Arriving and opening the door to his quarters it's the exact same as the last time you'd been here; Sparce and devoid of anything beyond the bare necessities. Not uncommon, for clone quarters. Fordo is standing close to the small desk towards the side of the room, looking up when he notices you. The way he perks up slightly isn't lost on you, though he presumably is just surprised to see you here so quickly.

And in usual nature for Fordo, he's right to the point.

"We're exiting hyperspace soon. When we drop planetside, I'd like you to take sniper support. Since our usual is still in the medbay."

Seems simple enough. You nod, making a mental note to give your rifle a once over before you head out. Not that it needs it, but you enjoy the peace of mind the action gives you. Better safe then sorry.

"Sure thing. I'll be ready by then."

He expects no less than that from you, and you haven't let him down once yet. He watches you leave, the door closing behind you. He has no need to lock it, so instead he sits back down in his chair, leaning back ever so slightly. Dark brown eyes glance to the left, and notice something unfamiliar resting on the corner of the desk.

She left her datapad here? Picking it up Fordo glances over the unlocked screen, before deciding to take a look. He doesn't really see any innate harm from it, until he starts reading and realizes just what he's gotten into.

The flush of her skin, it feels so hot to the touch it might almost boil. His cock feels almost in her stomach, impossibly deep and stretching her perfectly. Every move he makes the sound of skin on armor echoes in the small, cold confines of the room, now filled with the scent of sex.

He's rough; You feel any harder and he's going to leave marks. On your hips, thighs, the way his teeth scrape against the exposed skin of your neck.

Fordo in all his stalwart nature falters, reading the lewd words you'd written up and feels his face getting a bit hot.

The edge of the desk digging into your stomach it's impossible not to hear the way it groans until the battering it's taking, as he fucks you almost into the desk itself. Your hands grip the edge like it's a lifeline, toes curling in your boots as you feel your own wet arousal slick against your outer lips and almost leaking down your inner thighs.

"F-For-" A rough thrust of his hips cuts off your words before you even have a chance to speak them. Your legs tighten around him even has the edges of his armor rub uncomfortably against your skin, but you're too foggy minded by the way he's fucking you to care in the slightest.

You'd slipped up; And while you'd avoided using any names through hundreds, even thousands of words, you forgot and habitually wrote his name in once.

It's... Enlightening.

Fordo has long thought his secret affections for you were largely nonsense and had relegated them to a secured lockbox at the back of his head, so to see that it seems to go both ways, he's nervous but, hopeful.

He keeps reading, and soon finds himself immersed in your daydreams like they're his own.

You get back to your barracks in record time, still apt to finish your little daydream before you have to purge it from your mind again. The light flicks on the moment it sees motion, walking in the direction of your bunk. But when you reach to grab your datapad and get back to your little moment of self indulgence, you notice that it's nowhere to be seen.

Oh shit.

Where is it? You swore you'd left it here when you had gone to talk to Fordo, but then you remember that it had been in your hands, and the only option is that you'd left it behind in his quarters.

Which is an actual nightmare scenario, considering what is on it. There's more than a fair share of things you'd never want anyone to see, let alone him. You just hope you can get it back, before he gets a little bit curious. As no matter how cut and by the rules Fordo is, curiosity is a tempting beast.

Bursting off the bunk you quickly race down the halls backtracking all the way to Fordo, where you quickly open the still unlocked door. Once you do, you see the red paint of his armor, along with something in his hands. It seems like your nightmare has come true, even as you speak as if attempting to see that you've misread what is happening in front of you.

"Fordo? What are you-" He gets up from his seat, still holding the piece of technology in his hands.

"You left this behind." Your entire body freezes up. You can tell by the way he isn't exactly meeting your gaze that he absolutely saw what was on it, at minimum what you were currently working on. Gently taking it from his hands you hold it close, pursing your lips.

"You are a very good writer. At least, as far as my experience goes." Fordo hasn't exactly had the time to read to many things beyond reports in his time.

He, decides not to bring up where he'd glossed over his name, but instead uses it as fuel to say something he'd been hoping to gather up the courage to do for quite awhile.

He'll have to keep it a secret but; Kriff it. He wants a day off. With you.

"When we're back planet side, how about we get a drink." You're still wide eyed holding your datapad close, but can't help but nod.

Well, this all turned out a bit different than you'd expected. Not that you're complaining.

"Yeah, sure. I'd like that."

[blindrapture]

WEDNESDAY JULY 6TH, 2011 (American Anxiety)

9:34 AM Dreamed of distant rain forming a river nearby. The Camper marched out, and the river turned to blood just as I woke up. Donnie dreamed of a giant tree contained within a supermarket, the ceiling barely holding back the tree's growth. The supermarket won't last.

9:40 AM Going down to the lobby.

9:43 AM There's someone else heading to the restaurant, and they're trying a little too hard not to be seen by us.

9:45 AM Sitting down at a table. Writing in my journal to look like I'm not paying attention. Words, words, words! The walls have big photographs of New York before the red sky, many of which are torn. "Jordan, there's three of them now…" Just act natural. "They're coming this way…" I have Tiger Stripes. They'll think it's just plastic. Hell, I'd think that. They're gonna get surprised by oh god Bringing a gun to a guitar controller fight, what a dick.

9:46 AM "You shouldn't have come here." We were told we were expected. "There's no one for you here." Buddy, who do you think we are? Do you think we're here to start a fight or steal your shit? "You're here to carry out her fucking orders. You got in contact with her just yesterday, on American soil." She told us jack-shit. We're not with the Harlequin. I can show you my journal if you want? "You can write anything you want in there." Yeah, and you can say anything you want. I'm trusting that you guys are even human. Can't you trust that I'm "You're not in a position to appeal." Okay. Jesus. So. What, then? "Stay still so we can shoot you." Fuck.

9:48 AM MOTHEf9ck why would you bring a taser to a guitar controller fight when you’ve already brought a fucking shotgun

9:51 AM So.. so what just happened. Right. "Jordan, what did just happen?" We're, uh. Standing over three dead bodies. We definitely had a fight. They shot at us a lot, but all of that buckshot hit the walls. I slid under a guy's legs at one point and whacked him in the back. I was a bit too busy to watch what Donnie was doing. "Someone else came in. They drew fire away from us." But there's no one here now. she's clutching her head Hey, I believe you! I'm just narrating! "No, it's.. weirding me out. Someone else was here, and I looked right at them, but I don't.. know... what I saw." Uh-oh. That sounds like slender man shit to me. "He was wearing a hat. Does the slender man do that?" I don't know. Maybe sometimes? And we only know stories! Who knows what the real guy does? Maybe he has many outfits! "I think we should leave…" Okay. Let me just get a look at the dead guys. You go on ahead.

9:53 AM The lead guy’s got a badge on him. “R.A.F.” Is the Royal Air Force here? Shit, air power would have helped a lot in crossing the Atlantic. >_>

9:55 AM Where's our fucking duck?! "We're gonna have to walk." Fuck!!!

10:25 AM Alright, we're just.. heading in a fucking direction. Donnie's leading, she's got the map. God I hate walking. And Donnie keeps taking us in new directions because she keeps.. seeing someone.

10:85858555858885858858888885888885858588588588858588588888858858888588858585858858858885858858888885858588858855558858888885885555858888588588855885858585858588558588885585888885858585888588858588588888858888558588558885885555858588558588858588588888858855558588555885888585885888888588858585855885858885858858888885858855858585888588858585858888885888888585858885885555885888888585858885885888858885858858888885858855858858858588858885888585 AM Of course there's not a human soul in sight.

8:58 AM Buildings scale left That one is bigger than Donnie speaks, I can't hear the xenomoths sleep

7:93 AM Toy soldiers off to war, hand puppets storm the beach lord of truth and lord of eternity, double being with beautiful face most comfortable with quill pen, but this will do This one won't last a week...

11:00 AM a voice speaks to me...The RAF’s main headquarters! It wasn't much of a walk after all. We're lucky we found it. Donnie and I are both resolved in this, we've got to clear things up. We'd rather not be stalked by big fucks with guns all through the country. We're just two kids!

11:01 AM Oh. It’s not the Royal Air Force. They’re called “Rise Against Fear.”

11:04 AM We demanded to speak with their manager. We got some funny looks, but someone did agree to speak with us. He’s a big man. Name’s Field Marshal Roosevelt. Says he’s related to Teddy. Military man. Not the cool kind, either; he’s the kind who’s really a big asshat about it.

11:05 AM He’s been staring at us for a while now from behind his dark and smoke-covered desk. Another person’s standing behind him, wearing a suit and hat. A man in black? man in black wearing face of white ..now Roosevelt’s looking at me. o_o “I know you. You’re the White Jester.“ What of it? “You were a terrorist, son. Nothing like us. Interacting with that plastic bitch, no matter what you tried, was a chicken-shit dumbass move. Kill her or die trying. That's the only way. That's a man's way.” >_< ..Donnie said something. Roosevelt asked her to say it again. “I said your man's way wouldn't even pass in a kindergarten. You'd get your arse handed to you by a five-year-old.” Roosevelt laughed. “Yeah, well, we don't really hang around little kids. Shouldn't even be talking to you two.” ..I really don’t like this guy. Donnie said “Is that by court order?” …fuck, this can’t end well. Roosevelt looks amused. “Okay, now you’re starting to get annoying. How about you hurry up and tell me what you want?” Well. Three guys, RAF guys, picked a fight with us. And we just want to clear things up. The Harlequin was some bad shit, back in Europe. I give you my word, we're not with her. We just want to survive. We plan on crossing the States, and we'd prefer to not think we're in trouble with the government while we do it. “Where are you trying to go, exactly?" Uh. Nebraska...? "Heh. Oh, sure. You can try. You have my word."

11:09 AM On the way out, I’m sure I heard Roosevelt say “Shoot the bastards next time you see ‘em.” Goddammit. do you want to see?

11111111111111111111:11 AM I wish that we can find somewhere to go that’s not this place. New York’s not my style.

11:13 AM I asked Donnie why she had to piss Roosevelt off like that. She said she didn’t say two words to the guy; I’m the one who did all the speaking. Are you kidding me?

11:15 AM We're going to the north. Donnie, why are we going to the north? "Well, if you're not gonna take the lead, I was at least listening when Roosevelt gave us directions." Directions??? "Yeah, to the.. y'know, the warehouse? The help?" ..what the hell, stop stop stop.

11:17 AM I showed her my journal. I showed her my transcription of the talk with Roosevelt. She says the talk happened almost completely differently. She said Roosevelt was a kind and respectful man who said he’d look into our problems, that he told us that the people in this warehouse up north can help us. And she said I did all the talking. I don’t remember that at all.

11:18 AM We’re gonna keep going north. We’re nearly there anyway. We’ll figure out what’s going on later. I trust Donnie on this.

12:34 PM do you want to SEE?This hospital smells too minty for my comfort. The doctor just came in. Says he’s a follower of the Beacon.

12:40 PM ..I’m not sure what’s going on anymore. I feel like I’ve been having unleaded Mind Screw fuel being pumped into my veins for the past two days.

12:42 PM The Beacon Follower dude tells me my friend is discussing things with the officials in the warehouse next door. She said I started going crazy before just passing out??

12:45 PM He said he knows exactly what happened to me. He said I ran into the Musicians. Says they’re another Fear. He doesn’t know what the hell they are or even do, really; he doesn’t think anyone does. But he knows that the people who run into them have hallucinations. God. Dammit. Gotta deal with that, then.

12:49 PM I think I can get up now.

12:55 PM I went down a long staircase. Either the Follower’s room was high up, or this warehouse is far down. Either way, it’s ominous as hell.

12:58 PM ..I turned around. Yeah, top of the staircase is right there. Motherfucking rabbit hole.Brick wall left and right. Brick wall in front and back. I’m closed in. ..now there’s suddenly a pathway right there. HOO, steam, I can feel that. Getting hot. Now it’s getting cooler, less humid. And brighter! ..there are pipes around me. This is some kind of corridor.

1:06 PM Found a ladder. Light’s shining from a hole it’s entering.

1:07 PM What is this White Metal walls Metal floor Metal ceiling But white Creepy place. Room over there, going.

1:08 PM ..oh hey! I’m in a warehouse. Donnie!!! With a bunch of smiling military men!

1:09 PM Military man shook my hand, introduced self as Thomas Ginger. He doesn’t look like a ginger. “I’ve been speaking with your colleague, Mister Dooling. I understand that three of our men attacked you folks unprovoked— rest assured we’re doing all we can to find out what happened there. In the meantime, I understand you need a briefing about the state of the world.” ...yeah, actually. That sounds good. “Welcome, Mister Dooling, to the new politics at the end of the world," he said with a wink. donnie "He's really dramatic."

"It's a big deal, young lady! We had something pretty good going on for a while-- not perfect, anyone will tell you that; liberal democracy wasn't the world we all dreamed of, but considering where we came from, and considering what our loudest competitors had to show for themselves, it was pretty good-- but we couldn't hold onto it for long once the sky turned red. Now, if it was just a different colored sky, and an epidemic of cat-spiders and other creepy-crawlies, I do actually think we'd be able to get ahold of it. Maybe have to deal with a surge in religious fundamentalists arguing that they have a stronger mandate to govern during the End Times, but, between you and me that's not a new threat to our government. We would have seen our way through. Caution tape over any new doorways, mandate a quarantine while containment teams patrolled for monsters... anyhow, you see what I mean. But it wasn't just that. Humanity met the Fears. Or, more properly, they introduced themselves to us. We didn't have a policy for this. These were entirely intelligent beings that had demonstrable power over us. They weren't as a whole willing to converse with us, but two in particular made an opening: The Archangel, and Salmacis." he looked at us to make sure we're paying attention. yeah, dude. we're rapt.

"Neither claimed to represent the others so much, but our own corroborations give us reason to believe their word. Of the two, Salmacis was the most forthcoming. She, or, they, or... they gave their name to us, 'as a means of representation,' and then began telling us about the other Fears. I think they're an outsider to the others? More willing to betray them. They claim, actually, that the Fears have always been here, and that perhaps they were, as a unit, responsible for some nuances of the balance of power that we've had trouble changing on our own? I'm hesitant to refer to this Salmacis as an 'ally,' and they saw fit to enforce that ambiguity a touch…" ....um… "I'm losing you. It's not important. I suppose all that amounts to is 'we have a source.'" Okay. So what about the other one, the Archangel?

"Him! Definitely not an ally. The Archangel is comfortable in the halls of power, and he has connections with the dead. We understand the walking dead are his doing, something he had always had the power to bring to the Earth but chose to reserve until a 'more appropriate time.' And, this being the red-sky end-times, he saw that as good enough.He also spoke freely on the other Fears, though more from the position of one who believed himself above them. We got a lot of names, descriptions of abilities, and a thorough sense of his personal evaluation of each of them. But unlike Salmacis, he told us this as an expression of power." Maybe Salmacis was also expressing power? "Hm? What?" I dunno. Literally just... guessing here, going with the information you've provided us. "Right. It's possible, and we've already got reports analyzing this all-- look, it's not important! I ask you not interrupt me unless I'm losing you." Sorry! Understood!

"The thing is, the Archangel behaved very.. familiarly to us. We recognized what he was going for. It is very convincing, the notion that he might have been on Earth for a long time. He's a power-hungry tyrant, a dictator by force. By contrast, Salmacis is hard to read. If they behave like anyone on Earth, they're a type that has never set foot in a place of power, and has only read about it. Very knowledgeable. Very much an outsider. Me, personally? I think that one's an alien, not from here at all." ...…uh-huh?

"...in any case, you see what I mean. We met the Fears. We were told of the shifting balance of power, transferring from humanity to the Fears. The Archangel treats this as a done deal, to the point that he doesn't view us as a threat at all. He didn't try to take over anything. To our knowledge, no Fear has established any colonies, installed any leadership, or even submitted any proposed bills." … "That one was a joke. C'mon. We're the Government." ...:) "Yeah. For all we know, they're only interested in chaos. Picking off stragglers, radicalizing individuals. Now, that will be a problem in the long-term, but we're.. keeping an eye on things." Right. donnie "The US has a smarter government than I expected." he's looking at her funny donnie "Oh, shit, sorry." "Oh, no no! No offense taken. It's just that I realized, you two don't know yet. Here, let me…" ..he’s showing us a big map of the world. Looks normal. “Bear with me for a moment; this map’s circa 2009.” He’s pointing at USA. “This? This is no longer the United States of America.” ..he put the map aside and underneath is a new map. It looks mostly the same, but there’s new labels and new boundaries everywhere.

“Over the last month and a half, the states have all seceded. They figured it was every man for himself, they jumped ship and are trying to adapt by themselves. The USA are now the DCA: the Divided Countries of America. It nearly went a different way, actually, but our miraculous President Obama in his last act managed to prevent it from being a North-South split. The new equillibrium, temporary though it could be, is based on the old one, but decentralized. What once were States are now Countries. No one nation here wants to change that just yet. Thank God. We want as many people fighting the Fears as we can get, not each other.” Huh. DCA. That's funny. "Hm?" Nah, it's literally nothing. Actually, I do have a question. Do you know what's going on with Europe? Where we came from? o: concerned look “It's nothing good, I'm afraid. You two are from the UK, correct? You made it out just in time, then, as the geography’s changing dramatically from what I hear. We can't even make an accurate map of it anymore; it changes from day to day." Shit. "As far as the continent goes, that's out of my expertise. Your own knowledge likely exceeds mine."

1:16 PM Mister Ginger’s taking us somewhere. Giant elevator. We’re going down.

1:19 PM Ginger’s talking. "Now, you don't have to agree to this, I want to be crystal clear, but I am authorized to make a proposition to the two of you." donnie "We're listening." "You know, no doubt, of the.. other universe." The rabbit holes! "That's a cute one. Not an uncommon name. Salmacis and the Archangel both referred to them as 'Doors,' a name which we find significant. Doors can be opened and closed. Doors allow transit between lived spaces, operative spaces, always constructed spaces. So the place on the other side must not be completely random…" Do you guys have a name for it? The place on the other side… "Yes, we call it Universe X." Ah. I guess that's about what I should expect. ..this elevator's taking a long time, just how far down are we going? ope we arrived. Sweet bananas and rice, that's... a giant Door.

1:21 PM This is a massive space. Like, an aircraft hangar. Under the city. I don't know if it was used for anything before the apocalypse, but now it's used to present this towering Door, which is held in place by large metal clamps attached to forklift-like equipment. Teams of people pass by, looking over clipboards, transporting large boxes, even janitors insistently mopping after each person. This is the most professional place I've seen on Earth. And it's all for that multidimensional portal... which is literally just, a giant wooden fucking door, with round doorknob that nobody can reach. Ginger "We'd like to propose that you go in there." o_o

1:25 PM You've.. sent others in, right? "Many times. They come back, don't worry. We have a good idea of the exact 'worlds' within vicinity of this portal. Uh, Door. We've been working to map it out." And is there something we can do that they can't? "That's the thing: No. But we found a library in there, some ways away from where this Door leads, and there's a figure in there who refuses to talk to us but specifically asks for you, by name." A library? Sorry, by name? I, uh… donnie "you did go to a library once in there…" I did, but... I mean, it's in Dimension X! It's a little overwhelming in there. I passed through the library once, I don't know if I can trust it. ginger "I understand your trepidation, Mister Dooling, truly I do. And as I said, we shan't force you in there. But, considering the likelihood of this whole situation-- we met this figure quite some time ago, and we didn't expect to find someone with your name just come walking in-- it was my duty to inform you, and it is my duty to recommend this COA." donnie "coa?" course of action donnie "you speak military?" metal gear solid donnie "what" I played metal gear solid when I was 3 years old donnie "that doesn't clarify anything" ginger "We will provide you with some amount of protection. Good suits. I can't promise we have anyone to send in with you. Would you like to.. sit down somewhere, talk this over amongst yourselves?" I would. ...I'd like to get away from that imposing Door...

1:34 PM Quiet room, side room. Table and chairs. Coffee. Ginger's stepped out for a bit, we're on our own. "I think we should do it. I mean, I feel like we ought to." I dunno… "Are you worried about the Nebraska thing? Don't be. It's literally nothing, like, I used to be online friends with someone who said he lived in Nebraska. And there's no reason to suppose he's still there. I'm in no rush. I'm with you. And there's someone in there who seems to know you." Yeah, that's what worries me! 'Cause I did meet someone in that library, but I did not know him. "Well, you'll be meeting him with me now. I think we're actually really good together." You do? "I do. It might be luck, to a degree, but then if it's luck then it's our combined luck. And you're good with that guitar thing." My weird, impossibly stable, Tiger Stripes… "And that ability of yours to talk. Nobody can stop you from talking. You stop only when it makes sense to. And that's kept us alive." kiss "Baby, you're impressive. I've never met anyone like you." aww... owo "And, like. Did you really think, if we don't go through this Door, we're never gonna go in any Door ever again? Do you think this is our chance to avoid this X place?" Well, no. Like, absolutely, that's sound, that's a point. "Then what? Talk to me." I have a feeling. Deep in my bones. "Yeah?" That we're gonna progress the apocalypse and bring Rapture just a little closer. silence "Well.. if going in this Door can do that, then doesn't that also mean that the secret to whatever Rapture is is behind that Door?" ...yeah. "Don't you want to know? What Rapture is?" What Rapture is… What is coming?

1:57 PM We're going. Mister Ginger and his team have provided a week's supply of food, some bullet-proof vests, helmets with rebreathers, and several multi-subject notebooks and good pens ("just in case"). A lot of the equipment is stored in a big box that we pull on wheels by a handle. Suiting up now.

2:10 PM There stands the Door, as big as a building, here in this underground space. Warning lights and alarms are sounding, and a woman with a megaphone is telling everyone to keep clear. "The Door is opening. Make way." I expected a creak, but it was more of a vast cracking sound as the Door slowly swung open on its hinges, pulled by the forklift machines. Like they were tearing open a wound in a giant wooden body... or a hidden chamber in an ancient tomb that hasn't seen living bodies in thousands of years… Inside is a beige wasteland, alien minerals blown out of the Door by an alien wind. We have some notes on what to expect. Just gotta... step through.

2:85858585858585858585855885858585885858585858588558585 88888888555555555 minutes have passed and we’re wandering in blackness. Night fell really fast here. It’s very quiet. I can hear only our footsteps as we walk over the sandy rocks.

858588585858555558585855558585585585855855585585585855 5888858 minutes have passed and and and Dark sky, vaguely purple. Rocks and badlands in all directions. And I can’t hear anything besides our repetitive footsteps.

855858585858585858585888588858858585858588885888858885858 We’ve found what look like sand cocoons dangling from a tree that is actually a rock. A faint hum can be heard from within. Donnie says we’re getting close.

85858585558585858858858555858858558858585558858858585588585 The moon is rising. This particular area is getting very rocky. As the moon rises, the ground gets harder to see. It’s like moonlight but.. well, the opposite! Moondark? No, that sounds stupid. Doesn’t this all? Donnie says it’s up ahead.

855858585855585885858585585855855585558555555585555558555555 The moon has risen. I cannot see anything around me. I can hear only our breathing. We have to hold hands now. It’s getting harder to walk. It feels like we’ve hit sludge. The sand is rising. We’re swimming in sand now. We’re swimming to the moon.

8555858558585858585885885858885885885885858585858858858 Swim to the moon. It’s much closer now.

85585858858858585858585588585858588858858855858858888 I can see. Millions of other drifters floating off to the sand sea. The moon is lowering. The sand is waving. Tidal waves of grit and dust form a crust on the drifters in front of us. The sand piles on the crust and forms density unseen. The cocoon sinks into the waves below, and now the moon descends upon us. 888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

9:00 PM we are sliding down a very long slide it is red turn coming up to the right now we drop

9:01 PM Train of thought. Wait, no. We’re just on a train. The scenery is yellow. That one’s orange. KNOCKING that’s the door. We have a door.

9:02 PM It’s George Washington, the first president of the United States of America. Formerly united. He’s asking us to help him find his rifle, ‘cause the zombies are coming.

9:08 PM OH DEAR JOSH THEY’RE EVERYWHERE SHOOT THAT ONE NOW THAT ONE HIT THAT ONE IN THE FACE HIT THAT ONE IN THE FOOT NOW ITS FACE NO, THE OTHER FACE DON’T GIVE ME THE RIFLE WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO OH GOD DOUBLETAP DOUBLETAP THE DOUBLETAP DOESN’T WORK HERE OH MY GOD THEY JUST KEEP GETTING UP AND UP AND up and up and THEY’RE LEVITATING. I WAS NEVER BRIEFED FOR THIS! Open some fucking windows. Everybody strap in, I’m about to open som I got that backwards, didn’t I? OH MY GOD LIQUID IS POURING IN THROUGH THE WINDOW I JUST OPENED IT’S PURPLE It’s flammable. Okay, kids. It’s time for a little… liquid tension experiment. ..with.. acid rain and stuff. It’s a reference. ….just die, okay?

9:21 PM Really? Right into the next nightmare? Hello, hotel hell. Let’s just check in. I’m too tired to speak coherent sentinels.

9:28 PM I don’t expect to wake up in the same hotel, or even really alive at this rate, but I don’t care. Let me sleep. We’ll go deeper in the morning.

(Attached: "First things first, there are the gods. Our gods are rather human. Filled with regret, rage, and enough years of experience dealing with people that they can maneuver social situations as masters. Each one has their weaknesses, of course. The Harlequin has her naivety. Death has his pride. EAT has her mystery. And the Musicians have solipsism. There are two Musicians, not so much identities as they are poles of a field. They are extremely powerful at what they do, and my visits to the past let me verify that this has always been the case. They are so powerful, in fact, that they formed a bond with each other that has taken priority over all others. Each revolves around the other, each thinks primarily of the other, and this produces a wall of sound that makes other people look somehow less real. So what is it they do? The Musicians obfuscate.“)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Mark Sumner at Daily Kos:

Republican Reps. James Comer, Jim Jordan, and Jason Smith announced on Wednesday that they are referring President Joe Biden’s son Hunter and brother James for "criminal prosecution" to the Department of Justice. The referral accuses Hunter and James of “making false statements to Congress.”

The announcement wasn’t exactly a surprise, as GOP hard-liners had already laid out a “payback plan” to help Donald Trump following his conviction last week on 34 felony counts. As Politico reported on Tuesday, the criminal referrals were something that Comer, Jordan, and Smith could push through without support from other House members, since even some of their fellow Republicans are skeptical of their stunt “investigations.” Ever since gaining control of the House, Republicans have conducted multiple simultaneous inquiries into every member of Biden's extended family. The original plan was to gift Trump with a Joe Biden impeachment so that Trump could feel better about having been impeached (twice). But that plan fizzled out badly after the kangaroo court that went after Biden displayed hilarious levels of incompetence.  Now the House GOP’s Turgid Trio has produced a sorry document riddled with debunked claims, half-truths, and outright lies.

[...] This latest stunt is mostly an excuse for Comer and Jordan to grab air time and distract Fox News viewers with talk about the "Biden crime family" in hopes of making a false equivalence to Trump's very real felony conviction. It’s a very, very, very good bet that Attorney General Merrick Garland won’t jump on these referrals, because the evidence is unimaginably weak and the document attached to the charges contains far more lies than any alleged wrongdoing by Hunter or James Biden. But for the Republican trio, that’s also a part of the plan.

The unserious jokers in the House GOP wants to conduct show trials of the Biden Family while making excuses for the actual 34x felony convictions of Donald Trump.

[jules-has-notes]

Road Trip — VoicePlay music video

The life of touring musicians can be stressful. Like anyone else in the midst of a long drive in a cramped vehicle, they can get on each other's nerves and argue over what music to play. With this dramatic comedic reenactment, VoicePlay gives their audience a peek inside the tour van. After years of performing this medley / theatrical sketch, they finally got a chance to record a professional video in a live setting during the 2014 Sing-Off tour.

Details:

title: Road Trip

original songs / performers: [1:30] "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" by Tiny Tim; [1:50] "Orinoco Flow" by Enya; [2:05] "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot; [3:12] "Big Shot" by Billy Joel; [3:24] "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister; [3:33] "Voices Carry" by ’Til Tuesday; [3:50] "Shout" by Tears For Fears; [4:06] "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by War; [4:15] "That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynyrd; [5:10] "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago; [6:34] "We Just Disagree" by Dave Mason; [6:54] "Royals" by Lorde

written by: "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" by Al Dubin & Joe Burke; "Orinoco Flow" by Eithne "Enya" Pádraigín Ní Bhraonáin & Roma Ryan; "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Noddy Holder & Jim Lea; "Big Shot" by Billy Joel; "I Wanna Rock" by Dee Snider; "Voices Carry" by Robert Holmes, Aimee Mann, Michael Hausman, & Joey Pesce; "Shout" by Roland Orzabal & Ian Stanley; "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by Papa Dee Allen, Harold Ray Brown, B.B. Dickerson, Lonnie Jordan, Charles Miller, Lee Oskar, Howard E. Scott, & Jerry Goldstein; "That Smell" by Allen Collins & Ronnie Van Zant; "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" by Peter Cetera & David Foster; "Royals" by Ella "Lorde" Yelich-O'Connor & Joel Little

arranged by: Geoff Castellucci

release date: 22 May 2014

My favorite bits:

Layne's deliberately-obnoxious-sibling energy when he re-locks the door the second time.

five grown men making vroom-vroom noises and other sound effects as part of their job

Tony singing ♫ "Why? Why? Why?" ♫ in annoyance instead of ♫ "wild, wild, wild" ♫, and his smug smile at cutting off Eli's accompaniment

Eli excitedly throwing the horns only to be met with Tony's completely unenthusiastic "rawk". 😒

Geoff's growl note as Eli's "shout"ing wakes him up

Eli watch the rooOAAAD!!!

professional singers using their talents to set up and deliver an elaborate fart joke (I am completely serious. It's magnificent.)

Earl's adorable muppet snoring 💤 , and his bashful expression as he apologizes

Tony wiping the pretend aerosol spray off his face (whatever it may be… air freshener? hairspray? breath freshener? floor wax? dessert topping?)

the pitch pipe / seat belt alarm gag — such a clever way to reset after the evacuation interlude

and, of course, Layne's incredible solo

Trivia:

Layne sometimes changes the song he busts out at the end in an attempt to make the other guys laugh and break character. I've found audience recordings where he goes with "Baby" by Justin Bieber, "Hello" by Adele, and "Let It Go" from Frozen.

VoicePlay have been performing and refining this medley / skit since their 4:2:Five days. The earliest full version I've found is from 2010, with Ryan and Danny in the front seats, but an even earlier clip appeared in their 2009 promo video.

They did make an in-studio version with a real car in 2013. It's currently only available through their Patreon.

[novumtimes]

Anthony Joshua vs Daniel Dubois live stream and channel: How to watch fight online and on TV this weekend

Sign up to our free sport newsletter for all the latest news on everything from cycling to boxing Sign up to our free sport email for all the latest news Sign up to our free sport email for all the latest news Anthony Joshua will challenge Daniel Dubois for the IBF heavyweight title on Saturday, bidding to become a three-time world champion. Joshua, 34, previously held the unified titles twice, with his second reign ended by Oleksandr Usyk in 2022. Usyk then beat Tyson Fury this May to become undisputed champion, before vacating the IBF belt ahead of a rematch with the “Gypsy King” in December. Before Usyk gave up the IBF title, Dubois stopped Filip Hrgovic to win the interim belt, and the 26-year-old has now been upgraded to regular champion. And “Dynamite” puts the title on the line for the first time when he faces Joshua – who threatened to “put a chair across” his fellow Briton’s face in June. The undercard at Wembley features a number of high-profile names, too, including Joshua Buatsi, Josh Warrington, Liam Smith and Hamzah Sheeraz. That is due to Saudi investment, with this event representing the Gulf state’s second boxing card on foreign soil – and first in the UK. Here’s all you need to know. We may earn commission from some of the links in this article, but we never allow this to influence our content. This revenue helps to fund journalism across The Independent. When is the fight? Joshua vs Dubois will take place on Saturday 21 September at Wembley Stadium in London. The first fight started at 4pm BST (8am PT / 10am CT / 11am ET). Liam Gallagher will perform a short set between the undercard and main event at around 9:15pm (1:15pm PT / 3:15pm CT / 4:15pm ET), then the main event ring walks will be due at 10pm BST (2pm PT / 4pm CT / 5pm ET), so you can expect the first bell at around 10:10pm (2:10pm PT / 4:10pm CT / 5:10pm ET). How can I watch it? The fight will air live on DAZN worldwide, including in the UK and US. The pay-per-view is priced at £19.99, and you can purchase a subscription to DAZN here, with plans starting at £14.99 a month. New subscribers who buy the pay-per-view and sign up to a Monthly Flex Offer will receive a seven-day free trial; those who choose the Instalment Offer will get one month free; and those picking the Annual Offer will receive a 15 per cent discount. DAZN has apps available for all of the following platforms: Apple TV, Chromecast, Amazon Fire TV, Amazon Fire Stick, Amazon Fire Tablet, Android Phone & Tablet, iPhone & iPad, Android TV, LG, Smart TV, Panasonic Smart TV, Samsung Smart TV, Sony Smart TV, SmartCast, Xbox One, Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5 and Roku. In the UK, Joshua vs Dubois will also air live on Sky Sports Box Office for £19.95, and on TNT Sports Box Office for £19.99. The TNT pay-per-view can be watched on discovery+, EE TV and Prime Video. Odds Anthony Joshua (left) and Daniel Dubois face off at a press conference in June (Jordan Pettitt/PA) (PA Wire) Joshua – 2/9 Dubois – 10/3 Draw – 18/1 Via Betway. Get all the latest boxing betting sites’ offers. The Independent vets betting sites for useability, security and responsible gambling tools. You can claim free bets here to use across a range of sports. Please read the terms. Full card (subject to change; ‘C’ denotes champion) Daniel Dubois (C) vs Anthony Joshua (IBF heavyweight title) Tyler Denny (C) vs Hamzah Sheeraz (European middleweight title) Anthony Cacace (C) vs Josh Warrington (super-featherweight) Joshua Buatsi vs Willy Hutchinson (WBO interim light-heavyweight title) Josh Kelly vs Ishmael Davis (middleweight) Mark Chamberlain vs Josh Padley (lightweight) If you’re travelling abroad and want to watch Joshua vs Dubois, you might need a VPN to unblock your streaming app. Our VPN round-up is here to help and includes deals on VPNs in the market. Viewers using a VPN need to make sure that they comply with any local regulations where they are, and also with the terms of their service provider. Source link via The Novum Times

[girlactionfigure]

🔘 Mon morning - ISRAEL REALTIME - Connecting to Israel in Realtime

⭕ HEZBOLLAH ROCKETS and SUICIDE DRONES x4 rounds since our last report.

❗️including ROCKETS at Acre (northern city - north of Haifa).

❗️including ROCKETS at Kiryat Biyalik (just north of Haifa - the Krayot).

▪️RESCUED HOSTAGES CONDITION.. nutritional deficiency, emotional and psychological struggles, Stockholm syndrome, harsh treatment - evaluation of medical teams.

▪️ANTI-AIRCRAFT FROM HEZBOLLAH.. yesterday Hezbollah fired Iranian made and provided anti-aircraft missiles (multiple) at an Israel F-15.  The IDF responded by eliminating the anti-air launcher and squad.

▪️FRANCE WARNS LEBANON.. France has informed the government in Lebanon that Israel is preparing to launch a large-scale military operation against Hezbollah, which includes aerial bombing of vital targets throughout Lebanon, and ground entry into the area south of the Litani River.

▪️HAMAS WATCHES ISRAELI POLITICS AND SMILES.. The head of the political department of Hamas abroad, Sami Abu Zahari:  The military and political resignations are endless and prove the collapse of the Israeli political system.

▪️INFILTRATION - SDE EPHRAIM.. two armed terrorists wearing IDF vests infiltrated the Sde Ephraim farm, one lit the mobile home on fire, in which a couple who got married less than a week ago lives. Fortunately the couple was a Sheva Brachot (7 blessings meals with community).  IDF searching.

🔸DEAL NEWS - US SEC STATE BLINKED ARRIVES IN ISRAEL.. will meet with Netanyahu to try to advance the negotiations on the exchange deal before visiting Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and Qatar.

▪️BODIES.. news rumors state 34 bodies were brought from Gaza for identification, checking if they are hostage bodies.  This has happened many times previously with only a few found.

▪️CONSCRIPTION LAW.. The vote on the Law of Continuity for the Recruitment Law (the transfer of the law from the previous Knesset to this Knesset) is expected to take place tonight. For now, the majority seems to be assured.

▪️PROTESTORS ARRESTED - JERUSALEM.. a small group of “Change Direction” protestors attempted to block the entrance to government buildings.  Police quickly arrested them.

▪️ECONOMY - THE MINUS.. (in Israel people have a “line of credit” on their bank accounts, allowing overdraft but at high interest)  Bank Discount exempted interest on the first NIS 2,000 of “minus” starting 2022, to draw new customers. It didn’t draw customers, Discount canceled the exemption - and now is increasing the rates on ‘minus’ - 12.5% for the first NIS 800.  Bank Leumi similarly increased their ‘minus’ interest rates. (Calcalist)

⭕ ANTI-TANK missiles from Hezbollah at Manor.

⭕ HOUTHIS hit a Swiss container ship in the Red Sea.

[brookstonalmanac]

Events 9.16 (After 1970)

1970 – King Hussein of Jordan declares war against the Palestine Liberation Organization, the conflict came to be known as Black September. 1975 – Papua New Guinea gains independence from Australia. 1975 – Cape Verde, Mozambique, and São Tomé and Príncipe join the United Nations. 1975 – The first prototype of the Mikoyan MiG-31 interceptor makes its maiden flight. 1976 – Armenian champion swimmer Shavarsh Karapetyan saves 20 people from a trolleybus that had fallen into a Yerevan reservoir. 1978 – The 7.4 Mw  Tabas earthquake affects the city of Tabas, Iran with a maximum Mercalli intensity of IX (Violent). At least 15,000 people are killed. 1979 – Eight people escape from East Germany to the west in a homemade hot air balloon. 1982 – Lebanon War: The Sabra and Shatila massacre in Lebanon takes place. 1987 – The Montreal Protocol is signed to protect the ozone layer from depletion. 1990 – The railroad between the People's Republic of China and Kazakhstan is completed at Dostyk, adding a sizable link to the concept of the Eurasian Land Bridge. 1992 – The trial of the deposed Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega ends in the United States with a 40-year sentence for drug trafficking and money laundering. 1992 – Black Wednesday: The British pound is forced out of the European Exchange Rate Mechanism by currency speculators and is forced to devalue against the German mark. 1994 – The British government lifts the broadcasting ban imposed against members of Sinn Féin and Irish paramilitary groups in 1988. 1996 – Space Shuttle Atlantis is launched on STS-79 to dock to the Russian space station Mir. 2004 – Hurricane Ivan makes landfall in Gulf Shores, Alabama as a Category 3 hurricane. 2005 – The Camorra organized crime boss Paolo Di Lauro is arrested in Naples, Italy. 2007 – One-Two-Go Airlines Flight 269 carrying 130 crew and passengers crashes in Thailand, killing 90 people. 2007 – Security guards working for Blackwater Worldwide shoot and kill 17 Iraqis in Nisour Square, Baghdad. 2013 – A gunman kills twelve people at the Washington Navy Yard in Washington, D.C. 2014 – The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant launches its Kobani offensive against Syrian–Kurdish forces. 2015 – A 8.3 Mw  earthquake strikes the Chilean city of Illapel, killing 15 people, injuring at least 34, leaving at least six missing, and causing extensive damage. One person also dies in Argentina. 2019 – Five months before the COVID-19 stock market crash, an overnight spike in lending rates in the United States prompts the Federal Reserve to conduct operations in the repo market. 2021 – A 6.0 Mw  earthquake strikes Lu County, Sichuan, China, killing three and injuring more than 88. 2022 – During the Let Yet Kone massacre, the Burmese military kills 13 villagers, including eight children, after attacking a school in Sagaing Region, Myanmar. 2022 – The death of Mahsa Amini occurred, which sparked worldwide protests.

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

June 18, 2014

SAD DAY ON CONEY ISLAND — MIGHTY JOEY CHESTNUT OUT

NEWS FLASH! World Champion hot-dog-eater Joey Chestnut has been banned from Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest! Hells bells Wilson, what is this world coming to. Chestnut is the perennial winner — 19 years running — of the Independence Day extravaganza and holds the world record of eating (swallowing) 76 beef dogs in 10 minutes. Heck, the entire staff here at Smart Bomb couldn't eat that many franks in 10 minutes — or all day for that matter. The drama is outlined in The Atlantic magazine under the headline, “The Dog Days of Summer”: Turns out that Joey signed a sponsorship deal with another hot dog company — and get this Wilson, they're meatless dogs! Holy s - - t! The host of the Nathan's dog contest, George Shea, told The New York Times, “It would be like back in the day Michael Jordan coming to Nike — who made his Air Jordans — and saying, ‘I am going to rep Adidas too’ … It just can’t happen.” The annual Coney Island glut is no small deal. TV coverage garners more than 1 million viewers. Still, competitive eaters like Chestnut struggle to cash in on their fame. Imagine this Wilson, you're a cashier at a department store and people come up to you and say, oh my god, aren't you Joey Chestnut? WTF — no deal with Nike?

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW HARD IT IS TO BE DONALD TRUMP

Wilson, did you ever consider how difficult it is to be Donald J. Trump? The Democrats want to cut his head off — or so says the big orange guy. “Haul out the Guillotine!” he said last week in a fund-raising email, “is the sick dream of every Trump-deranged lunatic out there!” At a Las Vegas campaign rally the former president asked the adoring crowd what would happen if he were on a battery powered boat that was sinking near a shark. No Wilson, we are not making this up. “Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump in over by the shark... ” FYI: he chose electrocution. What that has to do with anything, we're not sure but it is entertaining in a stupid sort of way. And then there was this: Adam Schiff, D-Cal., told Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee that he would like to quote the jury in Trump's New York hush-money trial: “Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty... (he said 34 times). Fortunately Trump has Marjorie Taylor Greene to defend him. “The Democrats and the fake news media want to constantly talk about ‘Oh, President Trump is a convicted felon,’” she said. “Well, the man that I worship is also a convicted felon, and he was murdered on a Roman cross.” Joy to the world, Don the Christ has come.

NEW ANTI-WOKE WATER — DRINK UP FREEDOM

It's called “Freedom2o” and it will make you giddy with righteousness and the knowledge that you don't have to swallow any more woke water. “This water isn't free but your speech is,” according to a post on “X” during the right-wing Turning Point USA's People's Conference. “It's not just refreshing, it rebellious and it's unapologetic to drink this in public,” said company founder Elizabeth White. “[It] isn’t just about what’s inside the bottle,” she added, “it’s about the message it sends with every sip.” The communiqué apparently being something like the MAGA directive, “F- your feelings.” Yeah Wilson, the right is always being put upon by something or another. Imagine being forced to drink woke water — it's enough to make you puke. As White told the New York Post, she got the idea while watching the Republican debates, where she noticed audience members drinking water that had “no connection to the people drinking it.” Just think of it Wilson, drinking water that you had no political affinity with. You could get that twitchy thing that Democrats have. Or, you might feel like Martha-Ann Alito having to look across the lake at a rainbow flag for an entire month. Boy, she could sure use some Freedom2o now — along with her Glenlivet. Better make that a double.

Post script — That's just about going to do it for another fun-filled week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of Mike Lee so you don't have to. Yes Wilson, it is quite a community service when you consider that Utah's senior senator has no soul — he sold it on the cheap to you know who. Recently, Lee voted against a bill guaranteeing IVF (in vitro fertilization), calling it “showboating” by Democrats. Meanwhile, he introduced legislation to stop noncitizen immigrants from voting —there is no evidence they are — which is against the law already. This week The Salt Lake Tribune reported that Lee asked Republicans in an unofficial poll if they would rather listen to NPR, KSL or be waterboarded. Of the 931 respondents, 85.8 percent chose the torture, he said. The tempest in a teapot, according to Trib ace Jeff Parrott, was a response to a social post by KSL that said the Utah GOP had “been running into tough times” and asked if folks were “tired of the Republican Party’s antics?” Your right Wilson, when it comes to fiction Lee is no slouch and he loves to say, I told you so — nanner, nanner nanner. “Waterboarding seems to be enjoying an early lead over listening to either KSL or NPR,” he said, “I totally understand.” Nanner, nanner, nanner. Such a statesman. Rock on, Mike Lee.

OK Wilson, Mike Lee ain't no elitist like them liberal Dems — although he clerked for Samuel Alito; his father, Rex E. Lee, was U.S. solicitor general under Ronald Reagan; his brother Thomas Rex Lee is a justice on the Utah Supreme Court. Oh, and Mike Lee spent much of his youth in an upscale suburb of Washington, D.C. Maybe you and the guys in the band can cook up a nice little ditty for Mike “Me-No-Elitists” Lee.

Some folks are born made to wave the flag Ooh, they're red, white and blue And when the band plays "Hail To The Chief" Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senator's son It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no Some folks are born silver spoon in hand Lord, don't they help themselves, oh But when the taxman come to the door Lord, the house lookin' like a rummage sale, yeah It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's son, no, no It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no Some folks inherit star-spangled eyes Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord And when you ask 'em, "How much should we give?" Ooh, they only answer, "More! More! More!" Yo It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's son It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, no no no It ain't me, it ain't me...

(Fortunate Son — Credence Clearwater Revival)

[ntabs343]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Jordan Pants Mens 2XL XXL Black Nike Air Jumpman Track Basketball Vintage Y2K.