#aka the year we no longer have guaranteed housing

[lexalovesbooks]

feel sick trying to figure out housing for next year

[victorluvsalice]

Welcome to Winter Friday in the Chill Valicer Save, aka The Proper Grand Opening Of The Grocery Store! We have a lot to get through, as per usual, so let's get to it --

-->Since I started with Victor and Alice snoozing away and Smiler singing into the rec room microphone after storing their latest frog acquisitions, I took the opportunity to put away all their non-decoration-box Winterfest decorations (Smiler took down the decoration box ones later); buy them a new tree to decorate next Winterfest (hopefully this one doesn’t go up in flames too); sell the unnecessary fridge, microscope, and karaoke machine in the household inventory (Clement Frost, bring better presents next year!); and buy a new rug for the downstairs (I couldn’t remember which rug they’d had originally, so I found another big one with a pattern I liked -- though I'm actually second-guessing my choice now, especially with that color scheme). I actually want to give the house another small makeover now that they have some money and can afford to upgrade even more furniture and whatnot, but I’ll save THAT for a future update!

-->With that all sorted, I decided that I should probably let Victor and Alice sleep until about 5 AM or so in an attempt to get them on a better sleep schedule. This meant it fell to Smiler to take care of the earliest morning chores -- namely, starting the laundry (and making sure to put a snow drop into the washing machine to guarantee it all smelled nice), refilling the pet bowls (one was out entirely, and the other dispensed its last bowl right after Smiler filled up the other one), and entertaining Surprise and Shadow (after Shadow came in from her chilly nap on the porch, anyway! Why'd you decide to sleep out there next to your own poop and pee, dog?). Ah, the curse of being the one Sim in the family who doesn't have to sleep at all...

-->Not that Victor and Alice are sleeping much, because their excellent bed meant they were up by 4:45 AM anyway. XD I figured that was close enough and had Victor check on Smiler’s Sixam Mosquito Trap plant Snappy (all good) before going downstairs to make himself breakfast (fruit and yogurt parfait, yum yum :D), while poor Alice got to clean out the upstairs litter box and then run down to the back porch to lecture Surprise on drinking from puddles. Specifically, the puddle that Shadow left there. *grimace* Fortunately, Surprise listened and learned not to drink from puddles at all, and Alice was able to clean up the mess with no further “gross pets” incidents. XD I figured things would go pretty smoothly from there --

-->And then I got a message from the game claiming Moory had been unhappy for a while and might be leaving if she didn’t receive an increase in her quality of care. I was like "what?!" and sent Smiler over to investigate. Turns out she was dirty, and since she hadn’t come out of her shed the other day (due to the blizzard -- I mean, can't blame her), she’d been dirty for longer than she wanted to be. Smiler cleaned her off, then made sure she had enough attention by asking about secret cow worlds and suchlike, which fortunately she found amusing. Hopefully that convinces the cow that she’s appreciated around the farm!

And, of course, if the cow was unhappy, the chickens might be too! They didn't have a great day in the blizzard either. So Alice got sent to make sure the coop was clean, the feed was spread, and everybody was well-socialized. Gotta take good care of your animals, after all! Especially if you haven't gotten the upgrade parts necessary to upgrade their coop/pen. (Really gotta start doing Finchwick errands again...)

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

You said in another post you don’t believe the Knights of Walpurgis (aka Death Eaters 1.0) were all that plausible. Why is that?

Oof, this is a larger ask than I think you intend that gets into a lot of controversial things. Though, I suppose that’s what this blog has become.

Remember when I just talked about my weird fanfiction? Remember those days? I remember those days.

I guess to start out we need to go at a high level and acknowledge a few things.

For all we know about Tom Riddle’s life we know very little that came from himself. Most of what we know came to us via The Halfblood Prince, in Dumbledore’s lessons to Harry.

Think what you will about Dumbledore, benign or evil, but we can all acknowledge that the man had a clear goal and agenda in Halfblood Prince. Dumbledore was facing his imminent death, suddenly he no longer was looking at years but a few months to accomplish everything he needed to. He knows Harry is a horcrux, knows he himself no longer has time to hunt down Tom’s horcruxes himself, and instead must leave all his work to Severus and, partly, to Harry Potter.

Specifically, he has to groom Harry for suicide.

By the time Severus relays the truth to Harry (never mind that this very nearly didn’t happen in canon and what would Dumbledore do then) Harry must be prepared to sacrifice his own life to stop Voldemort. That, or Severus will have to murder the shit out of him, and that was probably plan B but Dumbledore would prefer it if Harry went along willingly so that the whole thing’s a little less shady. Dumbledore’s not murdering children if the children murder themselves!

This means, in part, convincing Harry that Voldemort is such a monstrous evil that his presence on this earth cannot be tolerated. Voldemort cannot be allowed to survive, even if Harry’s death does not guarantee Voldemort’s destruction, Harry must do it because Voldemort is that bad. There must be no hope, no recourse, and the only action Harry can take is martyrdom. 

And so, that is essentially what Dumbledore does. 

He gives Harry a series of lessons, hand selecting memories of Tom Riddle’s past (often shockingly innocuous), and then narrates them to tell Harry exactly why Tom Riddle is so evil today. The flimsy excuse of Harry wheedling information out of Slughorn is nice, but not necessary, as Dumbledore has no reason to believe this memory contains information he himself doesn’t already know (indeed, that Tom actually did make six horcruxes as he told Slughorn is a very strange coincidence as we rarely end up doing what we thought or being where we thought we would when we were sixteen). 

Per Dumbledore, Tom Riddle was born evil by his very conception, is doomed to be a lowly miserable creature, and that murdering him is effectively putting him out of his misery.

Right, how does this relate to this post?

Well, neverminding what JKR says outside of canon, we learn about the Knights of Walpurgis/Tom’s schoolboy syncophants from Dumbledore. Per Dumbledore, Tom Riddle, while a highly respected and charming student was Evil McEvil who had junior cultists galore. So, you see Harry, the man must die (ergo you must kill yourself).

However, this is frankly ridiculous and not in any way believable.

First, the Hogwarts era when Tom’s in school.

Personally, I believe Tom was regarded 100% as muggleborn. Tom went into Hogwarts with the last name Riddle coming from the muggle world. When he gets sorted into Slytherin he can point to know family members at all (and even if he could would, at best, be considered a low class halfblood). Tom doesn’t know the significance of parseltongue and likely tells no one (I’ll get into this in a few paragraphs). Tom may insist that he could be a halfblood, he knows nothing of his father, but given his origins he himself probably believes he’s muggleborn until he stumbles across the hereditary nature of parseltongue.

Regardless, Tom is impoverished, comes from lower class muggle London, has the last name Riddle, no relatives to vouch for him, and you want me to think that the purebloods sign up to be his cult members?

Even though Tom is terrifyingly talented and brilliant, he will be fighting for respect every inch of the way. At best, I see the Slytherin’s tolerating his presence. Riddle’s tolerable, for a muggleborn, it’s a shame that he has such dirty blood but they’ll admit he’s a talented sort.

However, as soon as he’s out of Hogwarts they’ll drop him like it’s hot.

This is evidenced by a few things. Upon graduation, Tom Riddle struggles to secure employment. He tries for the Defense position but is unvested and a recent graduate, and so is rejected (and when he later tries again Dumbledore laughs in his place and says, “Bitch please, I will never hire you, I just accepted your application so I could spend this interview laughing in your face!”) He does not enter the ministry, which would likely have been far more beneficial to getting him a leg up in society.

No, Tom instead secures employment as a clerk and purchaser at Borgin and Burke’s the wizarding world’s shadiest pawn shop equivalent where he spends his time miserably wooing older women so they’ll sell him their fine goods. Dumbledore tries to convince us this was Tom’s plan, that he somehow knew about the locket beforehand, but this is bullshit. How the hell would Tom know that the heirloom undoubtedly locked away under safe and key had been sold to Borgin and Burkes? And even if he did, why would Tom take up this miserable position doing nothing he wanted to do? 

Whatever minions Tom is supposed to have, whatever friends, they dropped him completely, pretended they never knew him, and did nothing to secure Tom’s future.

Now, back to the parseltongue bit since I made a promise. I believe Tom told no one. Had Tom told the Slytherins he was the Heir of Slytherin, this would have spread like wild fire not only across the house but the school. All the staff would remember Tom as Tom Slytherin, Tom would likely have changed his name, and frankly Tom probably would have been able to get into the ministry with a name like that. Tom Riddle’s life would have looked very different.

More, had the Chamber of Secrets episode happened in a world where Tom proves his heritage, he would have immediately been caught. Someone in Slytherin, even if only a few dormmates knew, would have narked on him. Someone would have been jealous, scared, etc. and would have turned him easily over to the authorities. A secret like that simply cannot be kept, it would spread, and there would be no needing to frame Hagrid and none of Tom getting off. 

More, I always got the feeling very few knew that Voldemort had once been Tom Riddle. First, it would make recruiting very difficult. Voldemort is the mysterious, beautiful, heir of Slytherin who has come back from abroad to save their country. Tom Riddle is a dirt poor mudblood who comes from decades of incest and squalor.

Given the wizarding world at large does not know who Tom Riddle is (proved by The Chamber of Secrets) I would suspect the vast majority of Death Eaters and Order members didn’t either. Dumbledore was the one who pieced it together thanks, in part, to a ten-year-old Tom Riddle confessing his parseltongue abilities.

If Tom Riddle had told most people he was a parseltongue, far more would have made the connection, it would be common knowledge. Which means, of course, Tom Riddle has no ability to prove his heritage and is thus muggleborn swine.

More, I think Tom wouldn’t want Tom Riddle to be associated with Voldemort. When he becomes Voldemort, he will transcend his lackluster origins and become far more than an ordinary, mortal, man. He will leave the name Riddle behind and no one will remember that boy. He will eclipse his past.

Not to mention, that if Tom gave them the excuse of his heritage, it means giving himself the easy way out in Hogwarts. They won’t be forced to acknowledge him, acknowledge that he’s better than them despite his roots, but instead given the easy excuse of “oh, it’s because he’s the heir of Slytherin, duh”. And I think Tom would loathe the idea of that.

Tom wanting to eradicate the memory of Tom Riddle is especially why I think Voldemort came out of nowhere in the 70′s.

Tom doesn’t want to be recognized as Tom, he wants to be mysterious and originless, to give the purebloods everything they want to believe in. If it’s people he went to school with, they’ll recognize him, he’ll be just an ordinary mortal to them. If it’s their young, stupid, children well then he has a real chance. 

Voldemort is a figure of myth, something that appears to come out of legend itself, the savior of his country.

He cannot have origin let alone Tom Riddle’s. 

Not to mention the idea that multiple people waited on Tom Riddle for generations, even for decades where we know he went abroad and travelled the world, is utterly ridiculous. Why would they ever do this? What do they even gain from this? And why would it take so long to take over this ridiculously incompetent country THAT ALL OF TOM’S RECRUITS ARE PRACTICALLY SET TO CONTROL (the beauty of the Death Eaters is that they form a good chunk of the Wizengamot, and in using them, Tom Riddle effectively destroys the country from the inside out, which I believe was his true goal the entire time). 

If Tom Riddle is so terrible, so horrifyingly competent, then it can’t have taken him fifty years of constant work to topple the country. 

So, yeah, there were no Death Eaters 1.0.

[garyunwinimagines]

Definition (Ransom Drysdale x Reader)

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Warnings: Language, Angst, Angst with a happy ending

Author: @garyunwinimagines (Cross posted on AO3 - Lady_avenger37)

Word Count: 1,758 words

Description: After a drunken hookup with your childhood best friend, you find yourself pregnant. What happens when Ransom tells his family and words are exchanged?

Note: It’s been awhile. This is just word vomit that came out of my depressed ass. I hope it’s alright. I’m kinda rusty with this.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Another blowout level fight with Ransom happened again today. One that was for the record books, and one that could guarantee the ending of your friendship. You just found out that you were pregnant, and you made the mistake of telling him right before you went to his Grandfather’s house for a family gathering. Like normal, Ransom was stoking the fire with his family and Walt remarked something about having dozens of kids without him knowing. Ransom then spilled the beans on your pregnancy. Congratulations were given and then the snide comments began.

The one that really set you off was “Well I’m not at fault here,”

“Jesus fuck Ransom! Who the fuck do you think knocked me up?” You said and stormed out. Grabbing the keys to his beamer in the process. You drove off before he or anyone in his family could say anything.

You didn’t even know where you were driving to, but you just drove. Drove to forget what happened. Drove to forget what was happening. All while ignoring the constant calls from Ransom and the rest of his family. After an hour or so your stomach growled. So, you decided to just go to a gas station and pick up some food before going back on the road. Now with a destination in mind.

Your parents’ old cabin. One which they rarely visited this time of the year, and lucky for you it wasn’t too far from your current location. It was someplace that you used to go to all the time during the summer. Now since it was mid fall it wasn’t on the top of their lists for places to go. They even said that you could go and use it whenever you wanted to have some peace and quiet. Which reminded you to turn off your phone to stop its constant ringing. Turning it off was a wonderful idea as you began to relax slightly as you made your way to the cabin. Your only thoughts being to get to the cabin and take a nice hot bath.

After another 45 minutes, you arrived at the cabin. You couldn’t get in there fast enough. Taking the trash and extra food inside. Throwing it on the counter as you made your way to the bathroom. Right in front of you stood a porcelain claw foot heavenly looking tub that you could just about drown in, and it was calling your name. You grabbed a towel after you turned on the hot water. Which to your dismay took a while to heat up. During that time, you looked around to see if there was any bath salts or oils that you could add to it. After opening drawer after drawer, you did find a bottle of lavender scented bubble bath. That would have to do.

Adding that was probably your smartest idea of the day. As the water was hot and the scent wafted around the room. Taking off your clothes, you finally stepped into the tub and it was so worth the wait. Not only did the heat help take away some of the stress, but the lavender helped soothe your frazzled nerves. Your body started to get so relaxed that you started to fall asleep. Before anything bad could happen, you got out of the tub.

Drying yourself off, you wrapped the towel tightly around you. Going over to where you left all your clothes to carry them to your room. Picking them up you walked across the cabin to where your room was. Praying that you had some clothes there so you didn’t have to put back on your dirty clothes.

Opening up the door, you can tell that it hasn’t changed since you last used it. You smiled. As on the dresser to the right of the door, there was a handful of pictures of you and your family and friends. A couple including Ransom.

You picked up the photo as it was one of your favorites of the two of you. You were both smiling and looking at you mom who was taking the picture. It was a couple summers ago when Ransom decided he needed a break from the world. Aka his family. So, you invited him to spend a few days with you and your family at the cabin. That picture was taken only a couple minutes after he arrived. Your mom joked that she had never seen either of you more relaxed or happy then when the two of you were out here together.

She was right. Out here was your happy place, and having your best friend/love of your life with you only made it better.

But right now it was your hiding place. A place to forget, and a place to be in peace.

And that’s what it was for the next week.

You relaxed and tried to figure out what you were going to do. You knew that unless if it would kill you, you were going to go through with the pregnancy. You thought about aborting it, but a part of you loved Ransom so much that you couldn’t kill any part of him.

Then you thought about how you were going to raise your child. Where would you be? Would you tell them about Ransom? About his family?

Most importantly, you thought would Ransom be involved?

If he was, would you be a family, or would he still sleep around? Would he get sick of you?

That night, you couldn’t sleep. Just like most nights in the past week. Except this time, you were awoken by someone’s arms wrapped around you. Turning your head, you were met with a familiar face.

“Ransom?” You said, and in the blink of an eye his eyes met yours.

His eyes were swollen and red, with the left one surrounded by a faint bruise. You felt a slight change in the pressure around you.

“You look like shit,” You said.

“I’m sorry,” He said and he buried his face into your neck.

With him here, you didn’t know what to say. Especially since he apologized. Turning around, you forced him to look into your eyes.

“I’m sorry. I let those fuckers get to me. I didn’t mean it-” He said.

“They always get to you Hugh. Every single time.” You said. He was about to talk again, but you put a finger to his lips. “You don’t think of the consequences of your words, or your actions.”

His grip loosened around you as he began to close off.

“I’m not just thinking about myself here. I’m thinking about OUR child. As whether you like it or not, you were the one to knock me up. If you want to take responsibility or not is your choice. As if you don’t, you might as well be dead to me,” You said meeting his blank stare, which seemed to aggravate you more than you thought it would. “Cause I probably was too damn foolish to think that you’d still be my best friend, even after a drunken mishap. But apparently I’m just one of your little playthings that you’ll just throw away-”

His eyes flashed with unbridled anger when he cut you off and got out of the bed.

“How could you EVER think that you’re disposable to me? After everything we’ve been through!” He said and you got out of the bed and stood right in front of him.

“How could I not! Not after you said it was MY fault that I’m pregnant! When that happens to also be the fault of the goddamn dumbass that knocked me up in the first place!” You yelled and jabbed your finger in his chest. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you as close as humanly possible.

“I maybe the dumbass for ever trusting you in the first place. To ever think that we were friends,” He damn near growled at you. “I’m more of a fool to ever think that you could love me the way I love you,” He said and pushed you away and towards the bed.

Your heart shattered. You have loved him for a long time, and figured that he only saw you as a friend. Tears began to sting in your eyes as you looked away from him.

It was silent for the next couple minutes while you kept yourself from sobbing. Once you felt that you would be able to confront him, you looked at him. You noticed that he was tenser than earlier but more nervous.

“Ransom,” Your voice broke. His head snapped right to you. “I’ve loved you for years, and have trusted you even longer.”

He took a step closer to you. You stuck your arm out, signaling for him to stop.

“At the same time, you’ve hurt me more than any one ever has. I understand that you don’t get along with your family. That you constantly stoke up drama and other shit with them. You’ve even brought me into it before. You went too damn far this time.” His jaw clenched at the statement.

“Did you even think about how terrified I was to tell you that I was pregnant? How worried I was? Wondering if we’d ever be friends after this? How we would raise a child? The worst one that is still constantly going through my head is, will he stay?” That’s the moment your resolve broke and you were visibly crying with tear tracks falling down your face at an increasing pace.

Ransom took the couple steps to get to you before you could say anything else. Before you knew it, he wrapped his arms around you and held you to his chest. Your tears wetting his shirt. His hot breath fanned across the top of your head, and you could tell that he was saying something but not what he was saying. All you could really focus on was the warmth and strength of his embrace, and the way his hand was rubbing up and down the length of your back as he was trying to soothe you.

“I’m scared too,” Ransom said once you stoped crying. You looked up at him.

“Then let’s be scared together,” You said reaching up to cup his cheek. His mouth curved up into a smile that melted your heart.

The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, basking in the other’s presence. Silent promises exchanged between the two of you that helped ease the pain of the past week.

[lesbian-percy-weasley]

So I Showed Up At Your Party by Gay Natasha Saves The World on Ao3 (aka yours truly)

Series: None

Ship: Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood

Content Warning: Implied Homophobia

Description: Percy liked Oliver and Oliver liked him back. So why was he avoiding him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Percy was in the library. This wouldn’t be unusual most days but now it was. This was his final year at Hogwarts. Hell, the NEWTs were already over what did he have to study for? He knew the answer was nothing and yet he remained. Mainly he was avoiding something or someone.

The quidditch finals happened today. After years of the quidditch cup being elusive, Gryffindor finally won. He remembered that's all Oliver talked about back in their dorms. Almost every year he thought that they would win it and this year they finally did. Oh, Oliver. That’s who he was avoiding.

Being the only Gryffindors in their year, the two became quite close. Perhaps they were the only ones who could stand the other. Percy with his studies and Oliver with his quidditch most could only imagine the headache staying with them would be. Percy had to admit that Oliver was one of his closest friends until about a month ago.

Ever since 3rd year Percy had realized there was something else about Oliver. Every time he saw him something in his mood would switch to be a bit softer. To Fred and George’s dismay Percy did in fact have other friends, but he never acted like that when it came to them. No, Oliver was special. Special in a way that Percy didn’t want to admit he felt.

When he was younger he didn’t think anything of it. He thought it was normal to have those feelings about men. His family never said anything about it. It wasn’t until he got to Hogwarts when he realized that not everyone felt the same. He was walking alone down a corridor when he was a 1st-year student when a group of older students cornered him. They broke his glasses and called him names he wouldn’t dare repeat. He didn’t know what they meant at first. After the attack, he had to ask Charlie. After that conversation, his attitude towards these feelings changed.

He had his suspicions that Oliver knew he was gay. Sometimes he would ask questions like he was trying to get it out of Percy. He didn’t get far in that regard, but he probably knew by all the longing looks Percy would give him. What he didn’t know is that Oliver wanted nothing more than to kiss Percy.

Percy had a girlfriend for the past two years. If he was being honest with himself he didn’t love her as a boyfriend should. He knew it wasn’t fair to Penelope so he broke it off. After it happened Percy went to his dorm room to sit in his emotions. That's when Oliver came in. Percy could tell by his odor he was fresh out of quidditch practice.

He didn’t bother to comment like he usually does so Oliver knew something was up. Usually, he feigns disgust the moment he walks in after quidditch practice. Percy had been talking about breaking up with Penelope so maybe he finally did it.

“Oi Perce. Is something up?” Oliver asked after setting his bag next to his bed. Percy turned his head to look towards Oliver and shrugged. “Broke up with Penny. I’m just thinking to myself.” Oliver started to walk over to the window seat. “Oh, I’m sorry.” “It’s fine really I just realized I didn’t really love her y’know.”

Oliver really wanted to ask more questions but he knew now was not the time. He himself had gone through his fair share of breakups and the last thing he would want was for someone to question him about it. So he just sat close next to Percy for as long as Percy wanted him too.

If Percy was being honest with himself he really enjoyed it. He felt like he could tell him anything so why didn’t he? It’s not like Oliver would call him those names. But he still couldn’t find it in himself to do it. He wanted to be open to Oliver but couldn’t be open to himself.

It was very late one night and he was by the window reading a book by Jane Austen. Now, Percy wasn’t interested in muggle literature but his muggle studies professor said that it was going to be on the NEWTs so he thought he might as well read it. He grew particularly fond of Emma, which was the last one he had to read. He was so entranced by the story he didn’t even notice Oliver came into their dorm until he sat right next to him. Percy jumped at the sudden shift of weight and Oliver laughed.

“What are ya reading?” He asked quizzically, still recovering from the laughter. “Emma by Jane Austen.” Oliver, clearly not knowing what it was, faked a knowing sigh. “Who’s your favorite character?” “I haven’t finished it yet but I’m quite drawn to Mrs. Elton. Who’s yours?” Percy looked up at Oliver who was clearly trying to make something up on the spot. “Uhhh, I like Mr. Elton.” “You haven’t read it, have you?” Percy said with a giggle. “Of course I have, why would you say that?” “I can guarantee that no one’s favorite character is Mr. Elton.” He said laughing a bit louder.

“Fine you caught me. Why are you reading a muggle book anyway?” “Jane Austen is going to be on the NEWTs for muggle studies. I figured I might as well read her books.” Percy said leaning slightly into Oliver subconsciously. He didn’t know how obvious he was being. They stayed in silence for a while and Percy continued to read his book. Oliver chose to focus on the night sky.

“The stars look beautiful tonight. I can only imagine the view from the astrology tower.” He said while starting to gently rub Percy’s shoulder. Percy looked out the window to see what Oliver was talking about. “The sky’s very clear tonight. I’m jealous of whoever booked it.” “It must be romantic to be up there on a night like this with someone you love,” Percy mumbled in agreement leaning further into Oliver.

Percy knew the ‘someone’ he wanted to be in the astrology tower with was him. He could tell that he was trying to make a move on him and that he was falling right into him. So why was he so surprised when Oliver kissed him? It was like his mind shifted into overdrive. He couldn’t handle what just happened. Oliver could tell that Percy was starting to panic.

“Percy, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…” He was interrupted by Percy quickly getting up. “I better get ready for bed.” He said before leaving the dorm room. Oliver knew he messed everything up. Percy probably wouldn’t even talk to him anymore.

They didn’t see each other much after that, despite staying in the same room. Percy was studying and Oliver was practicing. Plus Percy was trying everything he could to avoid Oliver. He didn’t even understand why he was doing it. He liked Oliver, he really did, but he didn’t want to admit it to himself. If he talked to Oliver about it, he would have to talk to himself about it. But he didn’t want the last time they saw each other to be him running away. He had to do something.

There was a party at Gryffindor Tower. He knew Oliver would be there which was why he wasn’t. He knew that he couldn’t avoid him any longer. So he put his books away and started walking towards it.

When he got there, it was loud. Almost the whole house was flooding the commons room. But he still found Oliver. He was talking to some girl a year below them. When Oliver looked up he saw Percy walking towards their dorm room.

“Would you excuse me for a minute.?” He said as he started to follow Percy. When he got to the room Percy was sitting by the window. He walked over to him and Percy looked up with a sheepish smile. It was clear he was sad about something.

“Hey, Perce. Can we talk?” Oliver said quite directly. “About what?” “About the fact you’ve been ignoring me for the past month. Look, I’m sorry if I crossed a boundary, I know I should’ve asked first but I still want to be your friend.” Percy didn’t respond for a while. He was thinking about what to say. This wasn’t how it imagined it would be. But Oliver was tired of these games Percy kept playing. If he wasn’t going to talk then Oliver didn’t need to waste his time. He started leaving with a huff when Percy realized it was now or never.

“Oliver, I like you.” Oliver stopped and turned around. “Then why did you run away? Why would you ignore me for weeks on end if you liked me?” “Because I was scared!” He said louder than he intended to. Oliver took a step back from him. Percy could feel tears threatening to leave his eyes.

“I just don’t want to be weird.” Oliver went and sat right next to him. “Percy, do you think I’m weird for liking you?” Percy shook his head “Then why would you ever be weird?” He asked while putting his arm around Percy. “I’m just worried about what other people would think.” “Fuck other people.” Percy chuckled a little at that.

“I’m sorry for being a prat, Oliver but I really do like you. I have for a long time I just couldn’t admit it to myself.” “I really like you too, Percy.” Oliver replied, “So what does that make us?” Percy turned to Oliver to look him in the eyes. “It makes us whatever you want us to be, Percy.” “Boyfriends?” Oliver nodded “Then boyfriends it is.” He put his hands on the sides of Percy’s face.

“Is this okay?” Percy nodded in return. Then Oliver kissed him. It was everything Percy imagined it would be. Sweet, passionate, full of love. It pained him to admit, but he never kissed Penelope like that. After that they just stayed at their window, looking out on the grounds of Hogwarts one last time.

“I can’t believe we’re gonna graduate in a few days.” Percy expressed “I don’t think I can stand being away from you.” “We can always visit each other whenever y’know.” “Yeah, I’m sure my parents would be totally cool with me bringing my boyfriend home every night,” Percy said with a laugh. “You know what I mean. And besides maybe one day we could get an apartment together or something. It wouldn’t be that big of a step since we’ve lived together for 7 years.” Oliver pulled Percy closer to him. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

People at the party were starting to wonder where Oliver went. He was quidditch captain, wasn’t he supposed to be celebrating? But he was celebrating. Celebrating with his boyfriend in their dorm room for maybe the last time. Maybe the other Gryffindors thought he should be out in the commons room drinking and partying with everyone but he thought Percy was enough.

[alyssaallyrion]

Hard hearts and rocks and thorns. (aka InoDei arranged marriage AU)

Chapter 1

ao3 link 

It dawned cold and clear on the day Ino’s fate was sealed.

She should have known that something was amiss when she saw three ANBU members outside her family’s home. Given her father’s station in the village, it was not unusual for one or two ANBU to appear to summon him to the Hokage, but never three. Exhausted from the night shift at the hospital, Ino doesn’t dwell on it for long. Moving past them, she pushes the house’s front door open and heads up the stairs to her room.

Turning on the sink, Ino takes a deep, shaky breath and submerges her hands under the cold stream. She’d washed her hands before leaving the hospital, but somehow there’s still blood under her nails, and Ino scrubs them clean until her skin feels raw. Ino looks into the mirror and sighs, noticing her sullen cheeks and deep circles under her eyes. Due to her long shifts at the hospital, it’s been more than a week since she’s gotten a good night’s sleep.

But now is not the time to worry about her appearance.

Old hurt ran deep, and Konoha was on the brink of war with Iwa, yet again. Tension growing over the years finally came to a head, resulting in endless skirmishes at the country’s border. Konoha’s hospital was overwhelmed by the shinobi injured in the conflict, making all medical-nin, including Ino, work day and night to save lives.

And that still wasn’t enough – so many died due to the lack of resources. 

Lost in her thoughts, Ino doesn’t hear her mother enter the room.

“Your father is expecting you in the meeting hall,” she tells Ino.

Remembering the ANBU she saw outside the house, Ino frowns, turning to her mother, “Is something wrong?”

“You should go now,” her mother simply says.

Worry rises in Ino’s chest, but she does as she’s told. There are two ANBU stationed outside of the meeting hall, and her heart sinks - something is undoubtedly wrong.

Pushing the door open, Ino sees all the elders of the clan seated at the table with her father at the head. To his right hand sits the Rokudaime himself, looking more haggard than ever before. Quietly slipping into the room, Ino walks up to the table and takes her seat at her father’s left hand. Glancing at her father’s face, she knows that whatever brought the Hokage to their house must be serious – there is unusual, cold stillness in his gaze that she had only seen in the times of crisis.

She’s across from the Rokudaime now, but as she looks at him, he doesn’t meet her eyes. The silence stretches, and Ino feels her heart flutter nervously in her chest.

“Rokudaime-sama,” Inoichi says, “Everyone is here.”

His voice seems to bring Kakashi out of his thoughts.

“Right,” Kakashi says, then pauses, clearing his throat. Ino doesn’t need to read his mind to know that he’s worried, “As you know, the situation between Iwa and Konoha has been growing quite precarious. That said, the recent negotiations went quite well, so there is a chance we will arrive at a peaceful resolution and avoid the war.”

A quiet murmur runs through the crowd, and Ino smiles softly. If the fighting stops, the hospital will not be overwhelmed anymore, and so many needless deaths will be avoided. Still, there’s a worry niggling at her heart – the Hokage has brought good news, but that still doesn’t explain why he’d come to their house.

“We have come to an agreement that to bind Konoha and Iwa together and to ensure lasting peace, a marital alliance will need to take place between our villages,” Kakashi continues after a pause, “The Tsuchikage has offered up his own ward for this marriage – and has chosen Ino as a bride for him.”

The room spins, and Ino has to lean against the table to steady herself.

“Absolutely not!” Inoichi exclaims, rising from his seat, “No.”

“Inoichi…” Aiya – a clan elder – says in a warning voice, but Inoichi doesn’t listen.

“Rokudaime-sama, I hope you have refused the Tsuchikage’s terms because this marriage won’t take place,” Inoichi looks at Kakashi, his eyes full of anger, “I will not allow it.”

There is a pained look on Kakashi’s face.

“If I had refused, I wouldn’t be here,” he says.

“So you are entertaining the idea?” Ino cannot remember ever seeing her father this angry, “You know better than anyone how the Iwa-nin are. Marital alliance or not, they will double-cross us in a blink of an eye! I will not send Ino there like a lamb to the slaughter.”

Ino feels lightheaded, and it seems as though all sound leaves the room. Her future is at stake, and yet she cannot bring herself to utter a single word.

Political marriages were not uncommon among old clans, but Ino never thought that she’d end up in one. As a child, she’d always dreamed of marrying for love. First, her dreams were of a stranger who was invariably tall, dark, and handsome and loved her very much, and, later, of Sasuke. Though childhood had ended soon enough and her infatuation with Sasuke as well, she still never conceived of the possibility that she may end up in an arranged marriage. After all, her parents married for love, why couldn’t she?

“Inoichi, think of what this union can bring to our village, to the clan! The Tsuchikage’s ward is likely to succeed his seat; this marriage will bind Iwa and Konoha for years to come,” she hears someone say, “Ino is your daughter and heir, and we all care for her very much, but we cannot be selfish. Not with this. Not when the alternative is the war with Iwa.”

“Yes,” someone else chimes in, “We are shinobi, and it’s our duty to give everything for the village. Besides, refusing the offer will be seen as a grave insult.”

Ino looks at her father, and dread rises in her chest at the cold anger in his eyes.

“Don’t talk to me of duty,” he spits out, “You know better than anyone that I will gladly lay my life down for the village, but I will not sacrifice my only daughter. Never.”

“I understand your position,” Kakashi replies calmly, “But I would like to hear what Ino has to say. It’s not an easy choice – and it certainly isn’t a choice anyone can make for her.”

Ino wants to smile as fear leaves her chest. Her father has always been her greatest defender, and she knows that he will never let anything happen to her. He’ll always protect her, no matter the cost, until his dying breath because he wants her to live a long and happy life.

Ino’s about to say no, that she will never marry the Tsuchikage’s ward when she glances down and notices a fleck of red under her fingernail – a missed spot. Instantly, the protest dies in her throat as the world narrows to that single speck of blood.

If Konoha and Iwa go to war, more people will die in the hospital and on the battlefield. Her father’s life, her friends’ lives will be in danger. But if there is no war…

Ino’s heart flutters like a caged bird as she tries to steady her breath. She won’t be able to live with herself if someone dear to her dies in the war that she had the power to prevent. Her father is right, of course, the marriage is no guarantee that the Tsuchikage won’t go back on his word, but if they refuse, the war is inevitable.

If there is even the smallest chance that she could keep her friends and family safe…

She doesn’t want to say yes, doesn’t want to be a wife to some stranger from Iwa. But she’s a shinobi and has grown up knowing that one day she may have to give her life for her comrades. Only, she never imagined she’d be giving up her life like this.

“I’ll do it,” her mouth is suddenly dry, and the words come out quieter than she intends. No one hears her, too preoccupied with the argument.

Ino takes a deep, shaky breath.

“I’ll do it,” she says as loudly as she can manage, “I will marry the Tsuchikage’s ward.”

Suddenly, all eyes are upon her.

“Absolutely not,” Inoichi says, turning to her, “You don’t have to do this. I will not allow it.”

He reaches over and takes Ino’s hand in his, as though there is no one else in the room.

“You deserve to be with someone who’ll love you and make you happy. I will do anything to keep you safe – and I won’t let anyone force you into a marriage,” the break in his voice shatters Ino’s heart.

Ino smiles sadly at her father, but before she has a chance to respond, Kakashi intervenes.

“Inoichi, I understand that this is hard for you, but Ino…”

Her father’s eyes snap back to Kakashi.

“You understand how hard this is?” he almost hisses, “What could you possibly understand when you have no children of your own and couldn’t even keep safe those that were entrusted to you?”

Shocked silence falls upon the room. Kakashi slouches in his seat and glances down, suddenly looking about a dozen years older. Ino cannot bear the argument any longer, so she pulls at her father’s hand to get his attention.

Taking a deep breath, she meets his gaze.

“I will marry the Tsuchikage’s ward,” she starts softly, “Because that’s the right choice to make. I know that you want me to be happy, and I promise you this – I will be. Once I know that you and my friends are all safe and sound because there is a peace between Iwa and Konoha.”

“Ino…” her father breathes out.

“Dad,” sad smile blooms upon Ino’s lips, “I want to do this – for our family, for my friends, for the Village.”

The pain and guilt in her father’s gaze are almost unbearable. She knows that he will blame himself for putting her in this position, for not fighting hard enough to save her from this fate. Ino wants to tell him that none of this is his fault, that he’s always been the best father she could ask for, and that she is a woman grown now and doesn’t need protection but knows that she can’t, not when there are so many others in the room.

And, since so much cannot be said, she squeezes his hand in a gentle, reassuring manner, hoping and praying that he’ll understand her meaning.

She hates that this is her only choice, but she cannot show it – if her father notices her resolve falter, he’ll never let her go through with this. So Ino puts on her brightest smile as she looks back to Kakashi.

“So, when is the wedding,” she asks calmly.

She doesn’t want to get married, but having a wedding cannot be so bad, especially since she’d barely got to see her friends ever since the conflict with Iwa started. She misses them so – and a wedding is a perfect excuse to bring everyone together. Even if that means that she’ll have to marry the Tsuchikage’s ward.

“I should make an appointment with the dressmaker,” Ino continues, trying to sound enthusiastic, “After all, the dress I want will take at least a month to make…”

“The wedding is in three days,” Kakashi speaks up suddenly, “We’ve decided that it’s best to proceed with it as soon as possible to avoid any incidents.”

All air is suddenly gone from her lungs as she stares at Kakashi, dumbfounded. Three days? They want her to get married to a stranger in three days?

Ino blinks angrily, forcing away the tears that threaten to well in her eyes – half her friends are away from Konoha on different missions, and most of them won’t make it back on time. Shikamaru might not be at her wedding…

It was easy to be brave when she thought she had time, when she was sure that, at least, she’d have the dress she always dreamed of and that all her friends will be at her side, but now, staring at the dire reality of her situation, Ino is terrified.

“That’s ridiculous,” her father looks at Kakashi, “Ino needs more time! We won’t be able to organize a wedding on such short notice.”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Kakashi replies, “I’ll have Shizune personally handle the logistics.”

“The wedding will be in Konoha then?” Ino murmurs.

“Yes,” Kakashi nods, finally meeting her gaze, and looking into his eye feels almost agonizing – it is as full of pain and guilt as her father’s, “The wedding will be in Konoha, but the Tsuchikage requested that you reside in Iwa for at least three years after you get married. After that, you are free to split your time between Iwa and Konoha as you see fit.”

Color drains from Ino’s face – she’s the heir to her clan, and she never expected to leave Konoha. She loves the village – and already hates the thought of living in Iwa. She had only been to the Earth Country a couple of times, and she did not like it at all. And, given just how “friendly” Iwa-nin were to the residents of Konoha…

Ino steels her heart – she knows she needs to be brave.

“A change of scenery won’t be so bad,” she says, hoping that her smile looks more sincere than it feels, “So long as I get to come back often.”

“If you accept all these terms, then we can proceed with the preparations,” Kakashi says softly.

Ino doesn’t want to accept – she wants to run to her room and cry and then spend the afternoon complaining to Choji and Shikamaru that she’d even been approached with such an offer – but she knows it’s too late to backtrack. She has to be strong, to do what needs to be done.

“Ino,” her father interjects, “If you don’t want to…”

“No,” Ino raises her hand, stopping him, “I accept.”

“Then it’s settled,” Kakashi nods, “The wedding will be in three days. The Tsuchikage’s delegation should arrive here the day before the wedding, and you will depart for Iwa the day after.”

“Very well,” Ino breathes out.

Everything after is a blur. Finally, the meeting ends, and Ino bids farewell to the Hokage and the clan elders before heading to her room. She wants to cry, but tears don’t come. So instead, she settles on the floor by the armchair, pulling her legs close to her chest and burying her face in her knees.

She doesn’t know how much time passes until there’s a soft knock on her door. She doesn’t need to ask – she knows that it’s her father. Immediately, Ino pulls herself to her feet.

“Ino…” her father’s voice is soft and pained when he enters the room, “Are you alright?”

“Of course, I am,” Ino says, as nonchalantly as she can manage, “Just thinking about going back to the hospital to tell Forehead that I’m getting married before she is. Not that anyone has ever seriously doubted that, of course, but she certainly had some delusions.”

“I see,” is all her father can manage.  

As Ino looks at her father, there is nothing she wants more than to hug him, bury her face in his chest, and cry about the unfairness of the situation, but she doesn’t move from her spot. She knows her father too well – if he sees just how upset he is, nothing will stop him from storming into the Hokage’s office and demanding that the wedding be called off. But she cannot allow that, not when so much depends on it.

So instead, she says, “I’m heading out now, dad. I’ll see you later.”

As she passes by her father, she’s careful lest she accidentally looks into his face. She’s a woman grown and very strong, but still her father’s little girl – she knows she’ll crumble if she sees the pain and guilt he carries.  

[mychemicalficrecs]

do you have any longer frikey fics, preferably bottom frank if theres smut

I do have some longer Frank/Mikey stuff, but no guarantee on bottom Frank!

Longer Frank/Mikey

Emotional Brilliance by kopperblaze, 21k, Mature. Toro and Mikey are a good team, Mikey doesn’t get why Brian had to hire someone else. In particular he doesn’t get why Brian had to hire Frank, who knows nothing about Lush products and who's incapable of keeping his mouth shut. Lush!AU. The one where Ray is a skin care expert, Frank is obnoxious, Mikey is annoyed and Pete leaves glittery handprints all over everything.

Gross roomies by turps, 36k, Explicit. Frank loves living with Mikey. Sure, the apartment is a mess, the kitchen's a toxic wasteland, and there's something growing in the refrigerator that's just a day or two away from becoming sentient, but other than those minor inconveniences, it's all cool. Or it is until Mikey decides to embark on a journey of sexual discovery and adventure and Frank's left at home with nothing but the fridge monster for company. To make matters worse, Mikey insists on telling Frank everything he does with his new kinky friends, right down to the tiniest detail. And now suddenly Frank is best friends with his right hand and he can't stop thinking about Mikey in ways he never has before. The really big problem, other than suddenly being in lust with his best friend, is that Frank isn't sure why.

Won't Know 'til You Begin by knight_tracer, Sena, 24k, Explicit. In which Frank is an accidental pervert, Mikey sleeps with Fabio, Gerard is much too sincere when talking about pain sluts, Ray is terrible with women and great with guitars, and Otter's got really bad taste in music. Alternately, the one where Frank realizes he has a thing for Mikey, Mikey realizes he has a thing for guys, and they're both adorably stupid failboats.

On Air by ladyfoxxx, 15k, Teen And Up Audiences. Frank's a radio DJ at an alternative station, spinning punk tracks and talking shit. When he gets handed the most popular show at the station to host, his first guests are independent horror filmmakers Gerard and Mikey Way.

Standing on a Planet that's Evolving and Revolving by Green, 13k, Explicit. The evolution of Frank Iero, age 15.

Buenas Noches From A Lonely Room by Femme (femmequixotic), 15k, Explicit. Frank wants to touch Mikey, to slide his fingers across the sharp angle of his cheek just below his glasses, to drag his thumb along the curve of his bottom lip, to smooth his palm down Mikey's long throat.

What Dreams May Come by sperrywink, 15k, Explicit. His career in music derailed, Frank never met the other guys in My Chemical Romance. A silly tale of teleportation.

a scent and a sound by mwestbelle, 15k, Explicit. In an urban fantasy world where werewolves can't hold a decent job and no roommate wants them, werewolf Frank is looking for an apartment. He finds one with Mikey Way.

Heart Wrapped in Clover by Sena, 19k, Explicit. Everbody's got their not-so-secret secrets on tour. When you live out of a van, you just can't help but notice things that you shouldn't talk about if you don't want to embarrass your friends or start a fight. Frank wishes sometimes they talked about things, though, because he's dying to ask if anybody else has noticed that sometimes, Mikey wears panties.

Tints Verse by turps, 65k, Mature. A MCR AU where Ray has his own gardening firm, and one day he does a job for the Ways.

We Used To Be Friends by ladyfoxxx, 50k, Explicit. "You and me, right Mikes?" "Yeah, fuck everybody else." Best friends since high school, if Frank could've chosen a brother, he'd pick Mikey. Then Mikey became a rock star and Frank... didn't. After years of radio silence, Mikey steps onto a stage in Jersey and back into Frank's life. (Or, the one where Frank is a school teacher and Mikey plays rhythm in The Used.)

And the Painted Ponies by turps, 35k, Mature. After years of struggling to be taken seriously as a bodyguard, Frank Iero is finally well established. He loves his boss, Ray, he loves his job, and he prides himself on his professionalism. But then he's assigned to be the personal bodyguard of Mikey Way. Mikey Way, aka Roboboy, is a successful high fashion model. Loved by designers and the public alike for his trademark lack of emotion, but mocked by the tabloid press for the exact same reason. Mikey is someone that Frank's sure he'll hate. Except it doesn't work out that way. In fact, it doesn't take long before Frank discovers he really likes Mikey. Maybe too much.

Better Than A Paid Life by gala_apples, 15k, Explicit. Gerard and Mikey Way are the Killjoys, a motorbaby duo. That is, until their car gets wrecked in a battle and the dashboard accessory of their new Trans Am is an ex-Companion with a mission.

Crash by Gorgeous Nerd (gorgeousnerd), 26k, Explicit. In a future version of Seattle, Frank Iero's a lot of things: bike messenger, cage fighter, sometimes thief, Ray Toro's roommate. Mikey Way's also a lot of things: record label owner, co-heir to his grandmother's fortune, younger brother. Neither are normal. But they don't know just how far each other's abnormalities go until Frank's past and a secret of Mikey's unexpectedly shove together. (Dark Angel AU.)

Sound Tracking by turps, 46k, Mature. The beat is muted, almost non-existent, and the loss hits Bob hard. He's used to living his life in a constant thrum of sound, sensing those around him, the rhythm of the universe a constant companion, but here there's almost nothing. He can feel the sound that's been pulling him for weeks now, but little else. This place is dead, almost silent, and Bob aches with the feeling of being cast into nothingness. A MCR - Bob and Gerard centric space AU where Gerard's band has been taken from him and Bob helps find them. Also features FOB, especially Pete.

Drink Cider From a Lemon by turps, 20k, General Audiences. A story about friendship, love and building your own kind of home.

Mikey Way and the Quest for the Stone by Roxy_palace, 29k, Explicit. “I’m in Colombia!” Mikey said, raising his voice over the crackle of a poor connection. “No. no, no, no, no,” James wailed. Mikey could really relate to his disbelief. He couldn't believe he was in mother fucking Colombia either.

Below the Trees, Which Are Below the Stars by alpheratz, 38k, Explicit. In the mid-1920s, Gerard and Mikey moved to France - Gerard to pursue art, Mikey because he couldn't stay behind. Now, it's 1930, and Mikey's become an airmail pilot, flying the mail route to Dakar with his navigator Frank. For a long time, the only rough thing about Mikey's life was the strain on his and Gerard's soulbond when Mikey was away, but his growing feelings for Frank and the arrival of Frank's old friend Ray could change everything.

Food of Love by Lucifuge5, 12k, Teen And Up Audiences. Ever since it re-opened, Frank's been "Sweet Nothings"'s number one customer. That he harbors a gigantic crush on one of the owners is something that he's kept to himself for the most part (Ray will never tell a soul.) It's not until he strikes a friendship with the older brother of the object of his affection that he 'fesses up. Moved by Frank's pining, Gerard promises to help Frank woo Mikey. Complications arise when Gerard's "helpful advice" is anything but. Will Frank be successful in his courtship or are his chances to win Mikey's heart as ruined as a burnt cupcake?

You Only Hear The Music (When Your Heart Begins To Break) by Acadjonne, 28k, Mature. Mikey and Frank have known each other for years. They're roommates, and best friends. They're also friends with benefits. The arrangement is casual, and it suits them both. Somewhere along the way, Mikey develops feelings for Frank, but he pushes them aside. They aren't important, he'll be fine. Or, Mikey is fine, until he somehow ends up pregnant a year into this thing with Frank, and all of a sudden, he's got more to deal with than just how long he'll be able to hide his feelings for Frank or how the hell he's supposed to afford his transition.

Give Me A Reason To Believe (Failboats In Love) by Acadjonne, 14k, Teen And Up Audiences. On the night of October 31st, Linda and Frank Iero welcome a baby boy into their family. He weighs six pounds, four ounces, and is nineteen inches long. They give him a family name, and he becomes the third Iero man to bear the name of Frank. A year later, on All Hallow's Eve, a sleeping baby is taken from his crib and replaced with a fake. The babe will later be taken from the hands of the goblin that stole him, and he will be raised by two rowan treefolk, a house brownie, and some pixies. ----- When Ray walks down the stairs to the Way family basement, the last thing Mikey expects to see is a scrappy and long-haired form following behind him. But as he later finds out, Frank is almost always unexpected in the best of ways, the rest of the world be damned.

Death's Muse by TheFratelliEffect, 53k [WIP], Mature. Lonely and depressed, Mikey Way is battling through the drab years that immediately follow college. Struggling to make a living as an artist, Mikey has became a battered down, quiet introvert whom wants nothing to do with the abusive romance he is unwillingly involved in. On a cold winter morning, the starving artist is confronted with the opportunity to paint Frank Iero, the Midnight Falls' elusive, young doctor, which he takes up immediately. Love and lust ensure as the story opens on the painter as he meets his muse.

Gallons Of The Stuff by MCRmyGeneral, 20k, Explicit. Frank has been amused by blood for as long as he can remember. When he was a child, it was a simple fascination; the way it felt on his hands, the way it looked dripping to the floor, the way it smelled. But as he grew older, that simple fascination morphed into a daring lust. Blood no longer amused him, now it turned him on. Frank has never intentionally hurt someone just to see their blood. He just takes what he can get whenever an accident happens. But when Mikey is hurt bad, Frank discovers how hard it is to keep his hands, and thoughts, to himself. He loves Mikey, he has for a long time. But now, he finds his silence so much harder to keep. He has two choices: either tell Mikey how he feels, about him and his blood, and risk scaring him away, or keep quiet, and never let the man know how much he means to him. Whatever he chooses, he knows that someone will get hurt.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

comet, moon, pluto, aquila, protostar

Thank You vm

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?

lmaooo oh you know at any given time i’m weaving this rich tapestry of continual frustrations lol.....i’d say i’m in an Upswing Period of [simmering frustration levels closer to the surface] lately too lol like earlier in the week i pushed through a day or two there more casually but then it was like ah jeez here comes the malaise. more specifically today, even just before sitting down to answer this, i emerged from the bathroom to find there was a “dog has pooped inside despite having been outside within the last 10 min” shituation, which was wonderful.....annoyed from Waking by “smh at not being able to adjust my nocturnality, still frustrated about the near success of last friday being thwarted by the dead of night hammering debacle,” & regular Antagonizing Audio issues, aka being stressed by both the [loud, alarming] type sound & the [gross textural misophonia hell] type.....earlier i was like “where is the dish sponge” (still don’t know) & went to get a new, packaged one which had been in a drawer, but that one was gone too, good that there’s no pressing need to wash dishes rn i guess.....still struggling with the “well i guess i’m trying to put myself out there Socially” attempt to find relevant public discords, being generally overwhelmed as actually talking to randos in a group is A Lot & in theory it’s like well you meet someone Specific you’d enjoy talking to & branch off from there but unfortunately you can’t just skip to that step, also i do not genuinely Expect to get to that step either way, also i am not easily finding servers in the 1st place b/c it’s like, well i talk about Interests but what am i interested in? who knows. don’t do art “seriously” enough to rly wanna discuss it much, thought abt Language Learning but one i found wants you to have a verified account lmao like, no thanks. in theory i enjoy Socializing some but in practice it is sure a trial & i have not said anything to anyone anywhere yet, just a “well, not sure what else i could do here situation,” in theory take up an In Person hobby / group to make it all easier but that’s not happening. which, i was also Frustrated remembering oh right i spent a year as measured by my personal age in 1 location, both Pandemic & other [society] problems, & speaking of Interests & Hobbies not having them, i was also >:| over something having kicked in my Math Sensibilities (aka that i like math) & wondering like, would i have enjoyed getting more into math / some particular application, who knows, same but also even more so re: other things i get the sense i’m quite Into, like learning languages & ~performing arts~, which, i at least took math / math related classes into college level courses, which is not true for those other things (took a Language Class: never, took a theatre / drama class: for 1/4 of the schoolyear in 7th grade, & prior to that, just did a scene or two of a play in english class 4th grade, & the approx decade extracurricular of ballet, which is related but of course a different thing. anyhow, annoyed that i Simply Do Not Know & hardly see opportunities to find out on the horizon, although who knows.....which is related to being frustrated about [Society] some more like, thinking about “boy how different would it be if people were guaranteed the right to Essentials For Life like housing, food, medical care, both electricity & the internet Now A Days...” like, agonizing What If there, it is all so unnecessary that It Is Like This......just now someone made an unnecessary Post lmfao thank you xkit.......oh right, i was Frustrated, with an emphasis In Aro / Ace, about Media & Life, what else is new & then, you know, musings on The Theoretical Future & One’s Personal Past that would become even more of a like, audioscape: therapy session topic, these are frustrating things. and all of this answer has been stuff i remember getting Frustrated about in the past 24 hours. Also!!! that last night i was like, i want to play scrabble, so i looked up an online game but the Computer settings are a nightmare like, as far as i could tell the Difficulty settings were mostly attuned to Average Word Length but it was like, yeah you’re playing against this opponent given this effective total familiarity with the most obscure / archaic shit in the scrabble dictionary, not even simply the like, q words / two letter words ppl might happen to know specifically for the purposes of scrabble. there was also no “new game” button?? just had to refresh the page? smh. oh lmfao! also! you Know i was frustrated thinking about Billions, the series / interest that antagonizes you, jokes on you when you hone in on the Quant where it’s like, is he just meant to be the guy who sucks, plus he’s got depression....suppose they do at least handle him w/some sympathy / nonzero Care for this Char acter, but smh at sighing about [bracing yourself for anything promising (cough riawin) to spiral into disaster one way or another, whether it turns into a joke or plot device or just something introduced / built up / demolished for ambient drama/conflict].....what else is new. the periodic cycles of Billions Thoughts lol. was just frustrated at a video’s Editing Cadence basically lmfao. i also find it grating when the word “the jab” is used in tweets re: vaccination, which i just saw, presumably in the same sort of way where i automatically dislike the phrase To Be Fair or referring to food/eating with “fill / filling” or any variants lmfao, or earnest use of the description “hearty”......some words i hate the sound of no matter what, some i hate to hear used in a particular phrase / context......need to simply stop doing things in the middle of answering this b/c it will inevitably involve Frustrations lmfaooo. oh also i was annoyed to wake up to a clear sky. where’s that overcast atmosphere

Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

i am not, but i’ve been considering it! just inconvenient b/c a) i gotta like, choose what book/s to read, & b) i have to read via laptop, which is kind of a pain, & c) like with everything, i always tend to basically read stuff all at once, but i’m also a slow reader lmao, so it’s like, okay, i’m probably basically devoting days on end to Reading Through whatever.....

Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?

another classic Fascinating Answer of “i dunno” lol, i’ve never really had a go to answer for this or anything that’s particularly leapt out.....plus re: how i tend to feel nervous with on the spot socializing, the concept of like “if you could have dinner with someone” is too much lmfao like, a waste of time, i’d simply Be Nervous my way completely through it. the only way i could think of things is like, here i go giving someone an interview, i guess, and whomst tf would i feel Prepared to talk to lmfao. relevant to interests it’s like well of course you could ask w. roland things the in depth secret jared questions, or Any questions about quant n billions, but then it’s also like, well, there’s the questions I already have an answer for lol & either you have the same answer or i have a mini monologue, not like i don’t speak in mini monologues all the time if i have something to say at all, and my Questions go like that too lmfao, a disaster already trying to ask people about pertinent Information......never able to think of things re: people who have died, i suppose there’s fun answers re: like, getting lost / unknown Historical Info......when it comes to meeting people i don’t really consider it much in advance b/c i am nervous about everything & aware that any interacting is a Challenge lmfao. whenever these things actually happen, it’s hardly always a disaster, but i’m just improvising in the end. also, i could meet people i actually know but have never met, i.e. you, who i talk to but we are Virtual & Pandemic’d & etc & so on. but i suppose that’s kind of a given lol

Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?

i think movies are less Involved for me, like, even if it takes me 3x their runtime (or longer) to watch any videos thanks to getting distracted & stuff, still quicker than i read a book, & unless i’m watching something for the first time and/or really wanting to properly pay attention, i can do other things while putting a movie on, whereas if i’m reading that’s the One Thing i can be doing. but overall i’m like “media, what media” whichever format lol like. haven’t consumed things, don’t often think of specific works i want/plan to consume, don’t often get around to it, etc. classique.....

Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.

speaking of classic, me struggling to recall 101 info about myself or answer not that out there Questions, but when it’s like “alright hater what are you disgruntled about now” it’s like, Deep Inhale lmfao, but [are you okay? Is Anyone].jpeg on that one as well, we are out here......uh i’m sure i’ve said it before but i’m around 5′11″? maybe 6 ft tall but that might be overdoing it. sort of Average Tall but i am always literally looking down on people lmao.....and bumping my head into a low hanging light fixture around here.....

[amydancepants-peralta]

you’re the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

(aka, the epilogue I suddenly found myself writing) 🙈♥️🤷‍♀️

season eight: you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be

On New Years Eve of 2020, the Santiago-Peralta household is strangely quiet.  

In the tastefully decorated living room a brightly coloured activity centre, complete with musical panels, sits neatly beside the beige sofa.  Three of the warmest blankets in Brooklyn share space with a knitted Ninja Turtle themed throw, and strapped to the door frame of the reading room Amy had once considered her favourite space is a purple and yellow Jolly Jumper,  a myriad of sensory developmental toys clipped along it’s edges.  

There are five different flavours of baby food on the kitchen counter waiting to be put away, and the bedazzled invitation to Gina Linetti’s 2021-a-thon lays forgotten to the side, mixed in with the letters and correspondences that neither Jake or Amy have done more than skim their eyes over.  Above the counter, below the precision-timed clock, hangs a framed photograph of the two of them on the night of their wedding, the happy glow of a freshly married couple still noticeable all these years later.  

Having just hung up from an unnecessarily long conversation with her mother, Amy leans against the kitchen counter, sighing at the familiarity of the curved granite meeting her lower back.  Mama Santiago means well; and as the mother of eight and abuela to five, has a lot of valuable tips and tricks up her sleeve.  But this is Amy’s first child, and as much as she wants to do everything exactly right, she also wants her and Jake to figure things out as they go.  A statement she’d had to repeat approximately eighty-nine times to Camila during that last phone call.  

Twisting the rings on her finger, Amy smiles at the thought of all that she and Jake had been through in the past year.  At eight months, their daughter Mia was tiny but fierce, and motherhood was both everything and absolutely nothing like she’d expected it to be.      

There had been offers to babysit from friends and family alike in the last few weeks, but all of them had been met with a polite shake of both her and Jake’s heads.  Sure, there were a lot of places that they could be tonight - and they’re probably missing out on an interesting experience at Gina’s - but truthfully, tonight there is nowhere they’d rather be than home.

(With any luck, they’d have their own wild night - and by wild, she means uninterrupted sleep for the next ten to twelve hours.  Baby Mia had only just begun to sleep through the night, and both Amy and Jake were approximately 4,167 hours behind on their own slumber.)

Shaking off the last remnants of the phone call from her body, Amy tucks her hair behind one ear and looks around the kitchen, noticing the bottle of champagne that her husband had pulled out of the chiller earlier was still sitting to the side, unattended next to a spare lid for their daughter’s favourite bottle.  Pouting her lips slightly, she glances at the clock, noting from it’s steady tick that it had been a good half hour since she’d heard from either Jake - and while silence in a house with a baby is usually a good thing, she’s also really curious what could be holding him up, and so Amy grabs the champagne with her left hand, shoving her phone into the pocket of her sweats with the other.  

The condensation from the neck of the bottle drips onto Amy’s fingers as she makes her way down the short hallway, her socked feet moving carefully across the floor lest a squeaky floorboard should wake their sleeping beauty.  Amy cranes her neck around the doorway once she’s reached her destination, and the sight inside simply makes her heart melt.

Jake sits inside their daughter’s room, on the oversized plush chair that a very pregnant Amy had insisted they buy, his eyes trained solely on their sleeping daughter.  The delicately embroidered pillow made by Camila, with Mia’s name sewn in shimmering thread, remained gripped in his hands, his body leaning forwards as though at any given second he was going to climb into the cot and join their daughter.  His eyes are soft when they flicker over to her, and he shrugs, giving Amy a sheepish look before turning back to Mia.  “I just can’t stop watching her sleep.  She’s so beautiful, Ames.”

Humming her agreement, Amy tiptoes into the room.  While a relatively tight budget had meant that the nursery had remained the same colour as the rest of their apartment, she and Jake had chosen softer toned items for all the trimmings, and the mixture of excerpts from some of her favourite children’s authors and photographs of family that lined the walls never failed to bring her a sense of calm.  Running her free hand along the edge of the dresser, she toys with the neatly folded onesie Jake had placed there earlier in the evening before resting the champagne bottle beside it, moving to stand beside her husband and run her hand through his hair.  He was absolutely besotted with their little girl, and it was her favourite thing in the world to see.

Jake starts at the moistness of her fingers, looking up at Amy before noticing the champagne and he rubs his face in exhaustion, wedding band glinting in the soft light from the lamp set up behind him.  “Oh right, I’d completely forgotten that I opened that before I put Mia to bed.”

Shrugging, Amy points her chin towards their daughter, moving both hands to Jake’s shoulders as she replies.  “It’s a good thing you did, really.  A popping champagne cork would definitely have meant saying good-bye to a sleeping Mia for the rest of the night.”

His laugh is soft as he nods, the memories of the first few nights with a screaming newborn still very fresh in both of their minds.  “It’s crazy, though … how much I miss her when she’s literally right there.”

Amy’s heart swells to twice it’s normal size, thrumming against her rib cage as it tries to compensate for the sudden and overpowering amount of love she feels for her husband.  She understands all the reasons why there was a part of Jake that was worried he would turn out to be a terrible father, but oh, how she wishes he could hear how sweetly he talks about their daughter.  Turning slightly, she grabs the bottle of champagne and nudges Jake over on the plush seat, rubbing her shoulder against his as she settles into place.  One of her favourite things about this chair - and the reason she’d been so insistent on buying it - was the fact that it was just big enough for two (if they snuggled); and in moments like this Amy would definitely consider it a worthy investment.  

Reaching for the bottle and taking a slow swig, Jake uses his free hand to rest against Amy’s thigh, fingers tracing gentle patterns that she knows are unconsciously done.  (They’d been together so long now that each of their bodies was an extension of the others, and she liked to think that the tiny swirls he made were representative to the myriad of coils in his mind, stretching and unfurling comfortably whenever she was around.)  In front of them, resting her tiny head in the cot that Jake had put together (and definitely hadn’t lost his cool whilst doing so), was their baby girl - and she was literally the most beautiful thing.

“I still can’t believe we made her.”

“I know.”

“And that it’s been eight months already.”

“I know.”

Jake smiles, nudging the frame of his glasses up with the edge of his finger (a Tired Jake at home has no time for contacts).  “She gave me the biggest smile tonight, when I lay her down and kissed her goodnight.  It was like she was saying ‘goodnight, daddy!’ … without being able to actually say it, ya know?”  His face scrunches.  “God, I sound really stupid right now.”

Amy shakes her head, unable to keep the blissful smile from stretching across her face.  “Not at all.  This morning, I swear she almost said ‘mama’, but then she just kinda spit up everywhere.”

His shoulders shaking as he chuckles, Jake turns his head slightly to leave a commiserative kiss on Amy’s temple.  “I’m sure she was trying to say it anyway, babe.”

Shrugging one shoulder, Amy looks up at her husband with a smile.  “Maybe, but I doubt it.   Her first word is definitely going to be Dada.”  At Jake’s incredulous shake of his head, Amy persists.  “She literally lights up when she sees you, babe.  It’s adorable.  You’re going to get first word, and I am totally okay with it.”

(Her first word, when she says it in a few weeks time, is in fact baba - aka, her bottle.  But, it’s totally a compromise between mama and dada, and the parents take it with glee.)

Picking up the blanket mysteriously knitted by Tia Rosa, Jake drapes the material over Amy’s legs before clearing his throat.  “So earlier this evening, I was scrolling through Facebook, and the sweetest photo came up on my timeline.”  He pauses, digging for his phone and unlocking the screen with the dexterity of a man who has definitely trained himself to text without looking down.  “See?” He continues, holding up the selfie he’d posted of the two of them last year, the festoon lights strung out on the fire escape casting their faces in a cool glow as they grinned up at the camera.  “Hard to believe this was only a year ago, right?  What a difference between then and now.”

“Oh god, that feels like forever ago,” Amy murmurs, her eyes running over the image as the memory of that night washes over her - right down to the feeling of their daughter still nestled in safely.  “You were right, though.  This year has been amazing. Even if we’ve forgotten what it’s like to have a quiet home for longer than five hours.”

“An amazing night is just another Peralta Guarantee, babe.”  Jake winks, grinning.  “And as crazy as it sounds, I’m all in for that screaming, Ames.  I mean ... I’d like it a lot more if it was two in the afternoon, and not morning, but I’m here for it all the same.”  He shakes his head at Amy’s offer of the champagne again, and she nods in agreement, setting it down on the floor.

Shuffling until her legs are draped over Jake’s lap, Amy reaches for her husband’s phone and types in her brother’s profile.  “Chris did the same thing earlier tonight - look, it’s the same photo I sent to you all those years ago.”  Jake smiles, eyes taking on a faraway look as Amy continues.  “Man, I was so stupid back then.  I was crushing so hard for you, and really thought that if I just put all my energy into my work, that it would just …. Go away, I guess.”

Jake nods, his arm wrapping further around Amy’s legs, rubbing the amazingly soft purls of wool between his fingers.  “If only we’d been able to talk to each other about it … I would’ve warned you it was fruitless.  I tried to forget how I felt about you for over a year.  Obviously, it did not go well.”

“Do you think if we had told the rookie detective versions of ourselves, sitting in that unmarked car down at the docks, that one day we’d spend our entire evening watching our daughter sleep, that we’d believe them?”

His chest constricting with a restrained snort, Amy feels Jake shake his head above her.  “There is no way I would have believed it for a second.  I would have hoped, but …”

Wrapping one arm tight around Jake’s midsection, Amy looks up at her husband, genuinely wishing that even the smallest part of the amount of love she has for him right now is detectable in her gaze.  “Lucky our heads caught up to our hearts, huh?”

Leaning in, Jake plants a gentle kiss against her lips.  “I’m thankful every day.”

A muffled snore comes from the direction of the cot, and Mia stretches out her fists as she slips further into whatever dream she’s having.  “Okay, seriously.  Our daughter is literally the cutest baby ever to be born.”

“She really is.”  And really, how else could they put it?  She was tiny and beautiful and adorable and all those other words that always seemed to fail to come to mind when someone asks them to describe their daughter, because how can you relegate something so life-changing to just a few words?  She laughs, a deep-from-the-belly kind of laugh, whenever Amy pretended to have a sneezing fit in front of her.  Smiles so brightly that even her godfather Ray finds himself smiling right back.  Grips her parent’s fingers with the strength of an army - and Jake swears that their daughter somehow took a seminar in utero, because she is her mother’s daughter - but Amy already knows that truly, both of them were 100% wrapped around their daughter’s little finger from the moment she was born.

Mia was a tiny tyrant, but their tiny tyrant; with deep brown eyes you could lose yourself in, messy curly hair, and a screaming voice louder than any infant had any right to have.   But it only took one look from her: one slow blink, or the resting of her head on your shoulder, and suddenly everything was okay again.  It took thirteen hours to birth her, and only one second to fall in completely in love, and Amy would do it all again in a heartbeat.  

As her eyelids begin to grow heavy, Amy rests her head against Jake’s shoulder, relaxing completely as the combined scent of his shower gel and their daughter’s baby powder fills her senses.  Before they close completely, her eyes shift towards the framed picture of her and Jake on their very first New Years Eve together as a couple.  Oh, how far they’d come.

*

It’s several hours before she opens her eyes again, ears picking up on an unfamiliar but persistent pop sound coming from the window in their daughter’s room, and as her still-snoozing mind begins to wake up, Amy realises that both she and Jake had managed to sleep through it all.  

Jake’s head is heavy on her shoulder, and as Amy cups his jawline in her hand and begins dotting kisses to his hairline, he mumbles himself awake, shrugging when Amy tells him that they’ve missed counting in the New Year completely.  

His hand grips Amy’s steadily as she leads him over to the crib, neither able to resist the chance to check that their daughter was still just as perfect as she had been several hours ago, and with a stretch of his limbs Jake allows himself to be pulled away from the nursery, grabbing the baby monitor from the change table as he goes.  

Both are asleep again before their heads even hit the pillows, completely unfazed at missing the countdown.  This house, after all, was going to be filled with celebrations for so many years to come - whether their family expands or they stay as a unit of three - that a new year simply meant a new beginning.  The future was ripe with possibilities, and they couldn’t wait to see what was in store.  

[cardandpixel]

9 Board Game YouTubers I Follow & Why (plus a few others)

In the literal dim and distant past when I started boardgaming (honestly, the biggest threat was tallow wax on your board), the internet was still accessed by whatever IP address you could remember off the top of your head (there’s no place like 127.0.0.1 as they sayI) - and the only TikTok was the clock ticking, waiting for half of Louise Nurding’s left leg to download only to realise it was Anne Widdecombe and you’d hit the wrong link on a BB. Boardgames had some quiet and shady corners of the internet, in those same Bulletin Boards, there was one for HeroQuest and Space Crusade when they came out. But sadly, if you wanted to see a boardgame being played or learn the rules, you either had to go round to your friend Tim’s house where he had a new chits-for-days wargame going, or sit down and actually read the rulebook yourself. As a result, I bought some interesting games in my time, including a game called Operation Overlord - a mighty chit-tastic WW2 N African campaign monster that I bought in desperation from the Games Workshop in Manchester on the first morning that it opened in 1979 (?) as we were so far back in the queue that there wasn’t a space marine to be had for miles. But now, we have a plethora of kindly folk available on our blistering shiny Windows NT 486sx machines to inform and delight us in full 8-bit glory. Everything from reviews, buying guides, rules tutorials and even painting & crafting guides, we can be bathing in just about whatever aspect of board or wargaming we so desire in an effort to stave off the clattering realisation that it’s been over 3 months since we spent any quality time with another breathing soul outside our houses. The question gets frequently asked on boardgame FaceAche forums “What YouTube channels are worth my time and why?” so in an effort to throw my own towel into that controversial ring, here’s my pick of probably 9ish, maybe more by the end, but let’s start with 9 in no particular order..... 1) 3 MINUTE BOARDGAMES

One of the first board games ‘er across the table (TM) and I bought together was a copy of Gloom from a little games and comic shop halfway round the world in Hamilton NZ, Mark 1 Comics. As we were achingly close to moving to NZ a few years ago, we’ve kept up with many aspects of what might have been our life over there, so it was a delight to discover Jarrod (and now Stephanie) on YouTube, a friendly and familiar accent reviewing board games. But it’s not just the NZ vibe that I love, Jarrod does a great job of cutting thru the hyperbole and bloat often associated with trying to keep YouTube vids ‘long for the algorithm’ (ugh) and just gives very pragmatic reasons for a game either joining or leaving his collection. He has a great approach, and it’s nice to see him finally on camera instead of the disembodied voice. Great reviewer, and Stephanie is utterly hilarious. 2) THE BROTHERS MURPH

Mike & Nick are two of the most engaging brothers on YouTube let alone just in the boardgaming community. Their series on thrift shop finds has dredged up some hilarious and often tragic specimens from the grand days of Palitoy, MB and Parker Games.  They are also masters at ‘speed reviewing’ often piling reviews of 50 or 60 games into the same number of minutes. I think I favour the ‘don’t outstay your welcome’ approach to YouTube in general, and the Brothers Murph are at great ease with this philosophy and yet they take on simple party games thru to the heaviest euros with the same distillation equipment, and yet their reviews are never trivial or throw away. We had the chance to chat to Nick at Airecon this year and he was a lovely guy, slightly blown away by the fact that people liked his channel. He’s also an awesome artist too.

3) ACTUALOL

There are many reviewers on the web who have cost me a fair amount of money, the worst being Zee Garcia, however, a close second is Jon Purkiss aka Actualol. Jon has a terrifying gift for finding games, and especially ridiculously affordable games, that I buy on spec and then end up absolutely loving. Jon has a light and breezy style which is instantly engaging - I also really want his comfy chair (surely in exchange for a nice review on here Jon???). His videos are tidy and concise and yet still convey a deep enthusiasm and joy for games. His reviews very clearly portray what the setting of the game is and what you’ll be doing, without getting embroilled in the rules. He always has great footage of the game on the table (please reviewers - look at the ratio of your face to the game you’re talking about - less than 10% game and i’m walkin’) and often favours the less pricey end of the market which suits me fine. Brilliant games I love thanks to Jon include: Second Chance, Magic Maze and Ninja Academy

4) OUR FAMILY PLAYS GAMES

There’s not much to be said about Mik & Starla Fitch that cannot be gained from watching a mere 3-4 minutes of their channel. For sheer exuberance aimed squarely at a love for bringing families together via our glorious hobby, you cannot top these guys. If you are ever - EVER - feeling slightly lacklustre about gaming or losing your mojo for whatever reason - heck if you are just feeling slightly down, treat yourself to 10 minutes in the company of these two excellent human beings. Their reviews and playthru’s have all the humanity you need in a game and after five minutes you are thinking “Is the US too far to go just for a gaming evening?” We’d both utterly love to sit across the table from these lovely people and just play, and I can’t say that about every reviewer, I’ll be honest. Their reviews are often centred around unloved classics (watch their vid dedicated to why they love Catan as an example - you’ll be clicking Buy Now before your know it) and also some great quirky unknowns that I’m trying to hunt down even now. They’ve just had a brilliant couple of boosts from both a spot of Good Morning America recently, and becoming reviewers for the mighty Dice Tower. I’m immensely grateful for a tweet by Rodney Smith for pointing me in their direction, my social media is a much brighter place with the Fitch family in it.

5) RAHDO RUNS THROUGH

“Heeeeey Everybody”. One of the first board game reviewers I ever caught on YouTube was the inimitable Richard Ham aka Rahdo. And I’m so glad I did. I would genuinely never sit down and try and learn a game from one of Rahdo’s playthrus, they are what I imagine being in a wind tunnel full of 50 tonnes of feathers is like. BUT and this is crucial - if I want an idea of what a game is going to feel like to play, there is no finer deliverer of the remote game experience than Mr Richard Ham. His unique ability to explain how a game is going to work, turn by turn; the decisions you will make; the things you’ll have to consider; the short and long term goals; are all brilliantly covered in one of Rahdo’s videos. His ability to make different choices for his ‘ghost partner’ Jen (who does exist in real life, we have bought jewelry off her, she’s lovely) also adds a real dynamism to the games, showcasing the flexibility in a design for different play strategies. Rahdo tends towards 2 player games and usually at the heavier end of the scale, but if there’s a game you are thinking of buying, check Mr Ham out first! 

6) WATCH IT PLAYED

It’s often been said that Canadians are some of the politest folk on the planet, but when it comes to ranking Canadians, well, I’m sure they’d be too humble to rank each other so I’ll have to. Rodney Smith is the loveliest man in the world. There, end of article. But it’s true. We’ve been watching Rodney since we first got confused about the rules for Mice & Mystics (which we still got wrong but that wasn’t Rodney’s fault) and his ever chirpy, ever positive approach to his rules rundowns is utterly remarkable and frankly, enviable. And it’s his attention to detail and clarity for explaining rules that have rightly made Rodney one of the most important resources in the gaming hobby. If you have ever struggled over a rulebook and haven’t raced to Watch It Played, I will guarantee you will have spent far longer on that rulebook and lost way more hair than you ever needed to. We had the great honour of playing Rajas of the Ganges with Rodney at Airecon in 2019, and I mugged up on the rules sooo much. Regular imbibers of this rag will know my sloth for reading rulebooks is legendary but fortunately ‘er across the table (TM) loves them. But, for the 3 days running up to our trip to Harrogate, I did nothing but read that rulebook - this was THE Rodney Smith, you can’t get a rule wrong with Rodney. But of course, nerves kicked in and I could barely remember the rules of Snap, but the nicest man in the world could not have been nicer. Really, quantum mechanics has proved it. He was just the same man off the computer telly. Funny, engaging, warm and happy to chat as well as play (which I was also really nervous about doing!), if you don’t watch Rodney, are you really internetting?

7) TABLETOP MINIONS

“Pachow” From boardgames to wargames. As well as my slight addiction to cardboard, my other opiate overlord is 28mm plastic miniatures. Specifically those involved in tabletop skirmish games like Malifaux, 7TV, Fallout Wasteland Warfare, GuildBall and a smattering of others. Though recently more focused on the frankly insane amount of content being released by Games Workshop, Tabletop Minions is presented by the splendid Uncle Atom. (In fact, I identify his content so much as Uncle Atom’s stuff that I honestly had to double check the name of the channel for this article!). My plastic habit uncle (sounds so wrong, but so true) has possibly the gentlest delivery of anyone on the internet. It’s not so much content, as therapy. I know the net is awash with AMSR channels at the mo, but if you don’t want to listen to some overmonetized southern californian with some bubble wrap and a large capsule condenser mic, just hop over to TTM and listen to the Uncle for 5 minutes. He’s like a soothing bubble bath of content about painting figures, philosophy of the hobby, general art & design principles, and great life advice. He also wears a fez.

8) GIRL PAINTING

“Hello Tchoobies!” I painted my first 28mm figure when i was about 12ish - it was, ironically, a space marine of some sort - the old clunky Ral Partha ones. It looked terrible, but each model got a bit better till I stopped for some reason a few years later. When I got into Malifaux a few years ago (ie decades, several of them, later), I knew I was going to have to get back into painting; heaps of grey plastic does not a skirmish game make. (Little did I know I would have to revisit my microscopy days either when assembling damn Bayou Gremlins!)  Two channels were recommended to me, the Esoteric Order of Gamers (more later) and Girl Painting. EOG put me on the path to believing I could paint again, but Alexandra at Girl Painting actually made me believe I could learn to do it well. GP’s approach to painting figures, terrain and vehicles is based on solid art theory. Her explanation of colour relationships and the colour wheel is something I can quote to this day. All of the techniques that I lean on so heavily in day to day painting both for table and display I learnt from Girl Painting. Correct use of washes, wet blending,  non-metallic metals, shading, drybrushing, highlighting, model reading, all of it from studying intently, often with a brush actually in my hand while watching the channel. I cannot recommend GP enough if you want to put paint to plastic. Whatever your ability, you will learn something from this hidden gem of a channel.

9) ESOTERIC ORDER OF GAMERS

Another dang fine antipodean and another slightly unusual channel. I have a terrible, terrible memory when it comes to rules. In our early days, we also had a a lot of games with seemingly very over-bloated rulebooks - FFG games basically. I suddenly realised what I wanted was to lift the lid of a box and find in the lid, a summary of the important stuff i needed to remember about the game. Apparently I was not the only one. In 2013 a chap known as Universal Head started publishing an amazing series of rules summaries which condensed down some of the bloatiest rulesbooks down to often one or 2 pages of A4. It was a (pardon the pun) gamechanger for me. I can’t count the number of games in our collection that have a friendly sheet of A4 now as the first thing you see when you open the box. They are brilliant. And he’s still doing it to this day. I would argue that the more useful leg to his activities is the website rather than YouTube channel, but his channel does have the aforementioned brilliant figure painting tutorials, unboxing videos and some crafting stuff. The website is definitely the place for the rules summaries and also a fantastic resource for build-it-yourself foamcore box inserts. Though Folded Space have now made box inserts pretty affordable, there’s still no feeling like the satisfaction of building your own, and I would argue that some of EoG’s designs actually make more sense than some of the Folded Space ones anyway. AND THE OTHER ONES (Who probably don’t really need the exposure, but hey, only 11 people probably read this so......)  Why aren’t these on the list above? Just because I wanted to highlight some of the more marginal channels above or more specialist rather than the pure reviewers. SHUT UP & SIT DOWN Possibly my favourite channel on YouTube, whose name sounds more like a menacing Yorkshire greeting than a boardgame channel. SU&SD seem to be a real Marmite issue on the board game communities. And I genuinely don’t understand it. Yes, their reviews are often really funny but honestly, if that’s all you take away then you are missing some amazingly detailed and thought provoking work. Quinns and crew’s reviews are some of the most measured and balanced reviews in the gameyverse. Their reasoning for the conclusions they come to are incredibly well thought through and often very surprising based on the tone of the rest of the review. They have steered me to some games I would never have looked twice at and steered me away from some very shiny games that I might have blown a lot of money on otherwise. Flagposting great alternatives is also a signature of their reviews, and that again has often lead me to some fantastic games. We don’t always agree (their recent review of 10 Oink Games was savage imho) but we always disagree for the right reasons. Again, I would argue their website is actually a better overall resource, especially their podcasts which are superb, but all their content is fantastic.

in a highly similar vein I would add NO PUN INCLUDED. Efka & Elaine produce some of the most thoughtful and intelligent boardgame review content today, and often for some of the deepest and most complex games. The joy of boardgaming is that it is highly subjective and there are lots of times when NPI like/dislike a game that I do/don’t, but they are engaging and warm enough as presenters to hit you with a gentle subtext that says “It’s ok - I know we like this game, we get that you don’t, it doesn’t make any of us bad people, just people y’know, have a sandwich with us”  Efka criticising a game reminds me of when Dennis Healey once described an argument with Geoffrey Howe as being ‘savaged by a dead sheep’, though not in the cynical manner of the original. The criticism is loaded with that crucial dose of ‘hear me out’ that is sadly lacking in 90% of all other reviewers out there. Efka & Elaine are no GoggleBox reviewers, they are the real deal - they genuinely understand how games work and why. The sheer moral turmoil that Efka expressed over the cultural issues in Rising Sun was some of the most thoughtful YouTube content I have ever seen. I just wanted to do a little shout out to Johannes & Sunniva at BOARD GAMING RAMBLINGS - I don’t have as much to say as they are relatively new on my radar, but I have really enjoyed their content so far and find them to be like one of those adorable gaming couples that you might see every once in a while at your gaming group and have a blast with, and then not see for months and go “Awh - I really miss Johannes & Sunniva - where’d they go?” that feeling, you know the one. Adorable, with a hint of the esoteric. Also, a quick but important mention to the other titan of boardgame rules explanation that is Paul Grogan of GAMING RULES!. Like Rodney Smith, Paul is meticulous about rules explanation and is really clear and simple to follow, even for very heavy games, which Paul tends to do more of than Rodney, which is probably why I end up watching Paul slightly less, but certainly not for any less quality. Paul has such a reputation in the industry that he now works closely with many designers and publishers to help craft the best rulebooks around as a consultant. So that’s it - congrats for making it through folks. Didn’t think it was going to run this long, but turns out.... I quite like a lot of the YouTubers I watch - who knew? Until next time... happy gaming y’all.

[artnerd1123]

DTRH!AU Masterpost

Moving into a new post since I’ve got stuff actually organized!!! It’ll likely get an update from time to time. Apologies to those whom the read more breaks for ‘^^

Everything to do with this au will be tagged #dtrh!au or #down the rabbit hole au Individual characters are tagged with #dtrh![name] 

Here’s an AU PMV for starters! 

Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?

Putting this up here so it doesn’t get super buried- Here’s the fic(s) set in this AU! All Moving Pictures End 

The AU crash course: The premise behind the au is that everything takes place in a pocket dimension controlled by a black magic script. Joey Drew is the one who’s writing/editing this script, and his rewrites affect the world and the characters within it. His constant reshaping eventually twists the world from a sitcom genre to a horror film- hence the horror esque setting, creatures, and plot. The characters didn’t escape the rewrites’ effects either. They’re warped into corrupted versions of themselves. However, these characters end up becoming sentient after awhile. The first one of these to become entirely sentient is Henry. He’s currently the only one who’s all the way out of alignment. A toon gone rogue, if you will. He still goes along with Joey’s “plot,” but it’s more so he can try to reach the other characters than to keep Joey happy or unaware of his actions. His goal is to basically “wake up” the other characters, so they can all stop living in a hellish nightmare studio and actually try and make something nice out of their home. He’s extremely dedicated to his goal. 

Character time!!! toon trio refs / corrupted refs  butcher gang refs / corrupted refs  toon henry ref  toon sammy ref / corrupted sammy ref  toon susie ref / corrupted susie ref  toon allison and tom refs / corrupted allison and tom refs  joey ref / toon joey ref  toon norman ref / corrupted ref  toon bertrum ref / corrupted ref  toon and corrupted grant refs  toon jack ref / corrupted jack ref  toon wally ref / corrupted wally ref  toon and corrupted lacie refs  toon and corrupted shawn refs 

Character relationships/orientations 

Concept art, anyone? toon trio concept work (w/ bonus corrupted bendy n alice) corrupted boris/alice concept work (ft bonus hen) butcher gang concept work (w/ corrupted forms) henry concept work sammy concept work (and more henry) susie concept work joey concept work corrupted norman concept work toon norman concept work  throwing around lost ones ideas 

Misc stuff Henry, but Goop™  Susie and Studio Tea™  Hey Henry, how do u feel about Joey?  Yo hold up, hen and polk are a thing???  Henry’s glasses saga  Regular studio shenanigans 

FAQ: 

How many of the employees are gonna show up? Hopefully all the named ones in the game! Once they’ve got a design, they’re guaranteed to show up somewhere.

Are they really carbon copies of the employees? Is there nothing different about them and their irl counterparts? They started as carbon copies! Latching onto their old traits and their old selves does help them come to their senses. However, different character development happens in script than IRL, so they end up different. Henry, for example, takes up the last name “Ross” when he wakes up (instead of his IRL counterpart’s “Stien”) to differentiate himself :0

So is everyone corrupted on purpose? Yes and no. Yes, because Joey chose to rewrite the script so much that it mangled characters, but no, because he didn’t intend to mangle them in the first place. It just kinda happened.

What makes them corrupted? Corruption is what happens when you can’t hold onto the core of what your character is, and get dragged into what the new script is telling you. It’s when you lose sight of who you are among all the chaos. People who are drawn farther away from their actual selves end up more monstrous. Susie (aka “alice” angel) is a great example of this. Bendy is too! Far be it from his real nature to be a murderous monster.

So can the toons be uncorrupted? Yup! Henry’s our model citizen this time. He looks more like a toon than a normal person, sure, but there’s nothing monstrous about him. That’s because he’s latched onto what makes him Henry. He’s not letting the instability of the world around him shake him up. Otherwise he’d be a goopy mess of ink.

Why’d Joey write everyone so differently that they corrupted? He’s actually very out of touch with people once he starts rewriting the script. Since his memories are getting foggy, he fixates on details that he can remember, and exaggerates them as needed. In fact, he’s hidden tape recorders around the script studio as built in reminders of these character traits.

How’d Henry wake up? And how does he plan on waking everyone else up? Ok… this is a longer answer. It all comes together, i promise. Jus hang with me. Whenever henry dies, he gets sent back to a sort of “first draft” stage. In order to get back to the world he’s supposed to exist in, he has to get through all the layers of ink Joey put down to get to his current script. As one can imagine… there’s a lot. So much so that Henry has to essentially swim to the surface. As he passes through all this ink, he can hear whispers of previous scripts. The deeper he is, the closer these whispers are to what the world used to be like. Seeing as Henry is the protagonist, he ended up dying… a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Joey had a lot of snags in the script to work out. All these times sent into the draft-y ink soup made made Henry slowly realize what was going on. He wasn’t mindless anymore. He knew what was up. After realizing that the world wasn’t right, it didn’t take him long to push for the rest of his consciousness. He plans on using what whispers and memories he can gather to bring everyone else back. He’s not dying on purpose, mind you, but he gathers as much information as he can to help everyone else realize that they’re not who they’re supposed to be.

Wait, memories? Does Henry remember the past scripts now? Not quite? He’s got a good enough memory stockpile to keep himself centered, but he doesn’t always know what’s up ahead as he heads through another studio loop. If Joey happens to rewrite or change around the script, those patches of Henry’s memory blip out of existence. Or at least get hazy. Hen can often tell if Joey’s changed something by how many holes he has in his memories.

Can anyone in the pocket dimension get out? Henry’s the only one who can get out! Joey literally wrote him a back door to the script. It used to be so he could talk to Henry whenever the “story” was over, but nowadays it’s just to judge how fast plot goes via how quickly Hen gets back. All Henry can manage to do is walk around and stare silently. And he can’t even stay out very long. Ink’s unstable in the real world. Gotta go back in n start the horror show over if u wanna live :/

Can Joey go in? Nope! Since he’s not made of ink, he can’t go in. He can watch tho!!! He does so via writing POV shifts into the script, and watches through whatever character it shifted to. Who needs cameras when u got the eyes of black magic toons n inky monsters ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Does Joey know Henry is sentient now? Nnnnot quite? He thinks the magic is being screwy with him. He can’t switch POV to Henry anymore, since the toon’s taken control of himself, and that’s real confusing since the writer doesn’t know what’s up. Plus, like mentioned above, Hen can’t exactly give Joey a sign once he gets out of the studio. Bummer :/

Is Joey gonna majorly rewrite the script any time soon? Nope. He’s to attached to his current plot to change the genre or anythin, so it’s gonna stay as is. With some changes here and there. One musn’t underestimate how many times u can change the order of scenes, or improve dialogue... 

AU Background:

((this is long as shiz, so get some popcorn slfkjs))

Y’all probably wanna know how this whole horror show started. I’ve got two words for ya: Joey Drew. Unsurprising! But he’s our starting point nonetheless. Joey Drew is the retired owner of Joey Drew Studios, a cartoon studio that ran itself into the ground after a decade or two of fantastical cartoons. Money problems aren’t kind to the entertainment industries. However, the studio was still his pride and joy! As are the friends who stuck by him or met him during the time it was open. He kept up with all of them through the years. They were like a little family. Unfortunately, time has a way of changing things. With his friends drifting away, living their own lives, getting up in years, or a combination of the three, Joey wasn’t doing too well. He was lonely. Feeling washed up. Missing the glory days, where he helped work on cartoon scripts instead of submitting horror and mystery shorts to local magazines. Not all that surprising that he turned to something else to cope. This thing being none other than occult magic. Because… of course it is. It’s a habit he’s had for years. Nothing like some demonic rituals to spice up the life of the creative mind behind kids’ cartoons! Especially fun when you’re a man with poor impulse control and a wild imagination. In any case, Joey summons the three main characters of his beloved cartoon series. Bendy, Alice, and Boris! (I refer to these three as the “toon trio.”) He was just as happy that he’d managed to bring them to life as he was to have them around the house. It was like having slightly unruly grandkids with toony superpowers. In other words, they were absolutely delightful!!! He took care of them and admired their antics. It was a great time. … until. Well. It wasn’t. Turns out things that don’t belong in this world get rejected eventually. After a few months, things started go go wayward. The toon trio had difficulties maintaining their forms, moving, engaging in tropes, and a ton of other things. They were miserable. Joey was understandably heartbroken to see this happen to his poor toons. So, like any good person, he tried to do the right thing: put them back on the paper they came from. It didn’t end up working exactly how he’d expected. Everything comes with a price when you mess with demonic ink. The magic not only created a stack of paper instead of a series of drawings, but latched onto an old fountain pen and Joey’s closet. If the closet thing seems odd, it is. But it’s a convenient place to hide ritual pentagrams! So, closet it is. Upon frantic examination of the papers, Joey discovered it was a script. A black magic infused script. Three names up top told him the toon trio were the only characters. A bit of experimentation led him to discover that the magic-infused pen was the only thing that could interact with the script properly. Further experimentation showed him that the script had made his closet into a pocket dimension. The contents? Whatever was in his new script. This is where the real fun begins. The new magic script practically floored Joey with awe. He had a world he could shape however he wished! He could run all those scripts he’d never gotten to put in production! He could watch his toons frolick! He could even use it to play with ideas he’d never gotten to explore. The possibilities were endless! 

((Of course, you might be wondering if Joey… y’know. Knew the toons were still alive. Because they were, they were just living in a pocket dimension now. In short? No. He didn’t. He carefully tested a few things with the script, just to make sure. All the toons did was what he wrote down. They moved like they were alive, but didn’t act that way. Plus, the dimension made them blank slates. They didn’t have any characterization in there to make them truly alive. So! For all intents and purposes? He saw them as you would any other character you write. A visual extension of his imagination. Ok mini rant over, back to the story--))

Playing with the toons was amazing. Joey hadn’t had fun like that in years! It was his little secret world, populated by his cherished toons. He could make believe whatever he wished. Eventually, though, loneliness started to catch back up to the old man. His friends… his family… life… it all went on. He just felt left behind. And what does Joey do when he doesn’t feel good? Not cope healthily, that’s for sure. Onwards to more occult magic! Only this time, he tries something… different. The toons were lonely. They deserved company. They deserved someone to take care of them. A familiar face. Maybe someone who helped Joey create them in the first place. Someone who’d just sent Mr. Drew an old letter and a card, since he hadn’t seen him in awhile… … someone like Henry. Using the magic pen, Joey traced over Henry’s note. Far from ruining the precious letter, it transferred “Henry” into the script. It’s not the real one! Basically a carbon copy, fresh from the time period that Hen first wrote the note in. Seeing as Henry’s letter came from around the time the cartoon studio was going strong, it’s an old version of him. But it was still Joey’s old friend. Just… toony. Toon Henry reacted just as his living friend would. If he wrote dialogue? He spoke it like Henry would. If he wrote some action? The toon put a classic Henry twist on it. Delighted, Joey returned to his script with renewed vigor. Toon Henry got to spend plenty of quality with the toon trio as the days went on. Thus began a trend of toonification. Missing one of his old friends? All Joey had to do was grab something with their old handwriting on it, and trace them into the script! There’s a carbon copy that acts just like the real deal! A fine compromise, right? … Right? Not exactly. It was fine at first. Joey made what could probably qualify as a sitcom-style story for the toony world to run on. His friends, at this point, all populated the studio. The premise was that the toons (now including the butcher gang!) had been summoned while he was still running the studio, and got up to hijinks with the rest of the employees. A hefty dose of actual studio drama- turned comedic, of course- kept the whole thing almost real. Joey even featured himself once or twice, but only in allusions, or a disembodied voice. He wasn’t about to let a carbon copy of himself have all the fun. It made him feel less lonely. More included. A fantasy world of never ending fun and heartwarming moments. How unfortunate it is that life doesn’t follow this pattern. Morality is a hard thing to come to terms with. So is sickness. Especially that of a friend. … it was just one rewrite at first. One alteration on a bad day. After all, using writing to cope is perfectly acceptable. One bad episode in the midst of sunshine doesn’t discount it all. One uncanny occurrence, though, doesn’t usually stay singular. It didn’t take long for the solitary rewrite to become two rewrites. Then three. Four. Six. Ten. Twenty. Fifty. More and more and more. Until the happy honey colored studio slipped into sinister sepia. This wasn’t the old script anymore. Not by a long shot.

The setting? A studio of shattered dreams.   Your protagonist? Henry. His goal? Survive long enough to escape.

~It’s quite th͝e̵͞͏ ͠M̕a͘sţe̛̕r͘p̕i̵͝e̡ḉe̡̨͜~̡̛

[thenightnurse]

Understanding Diabetes

Let’s discus diabetes. More than 30 million Americans have diabetes, and yet most people don’t understand just how serious of a disease it is, or how it exactly works.

Before we begin, let’s clarify that there are many different types if diabetes, from Type 1, Type 2, Gestational Diabetes, prediabetes, and much more. I’ll talk about them later.

Anatomy

Let’s take a look at a few key players; The pancreas, the liver, the kidneys, your blood cells, and well, the rest of your cells lol. Insulin, glucose, ADH hormone. The stomach (breaks down and absorbs food), your muscles (stores and uses glucose) 

Physiology

Okay so all foods, once they are broken down, are only one of three things, a carbohydrate molecule, a fat molecule, or a protein molecule. Glucose is a type of carb, a very simple one, and it’s what your body turns all carbs into.

Even though I said glucose is a simple carb (one of the smallest), its still really big, in fact its too large to be absorbed into most cells, like your skeletal muscles (aka most all of the muscles you think of), your fat cells, and your cardiac muscles (your heart). Glucose can however be absorbed by your brain, pancreas, and liver. 

So after you eat some carbs, its broken down into glucose. This glucose is now chilling in your blood stream until its taken up into your liver and pancreas. The pancreas realizes that theres a good amount of sugar in the bloodstream and it releases insulin, which allows your muscles and fat cells to use that glucose. Now here’s the part that I personally hate because no one ever explains how insulin lets your body use glucose other than “it works like a key”, but to be fair it doesn’t actually help you to know how, so skip this part if you don’t care to know. 

[Ight nerds, so remember how I said earlier that glucose is literally too big to just squeeze into the cells? Well then you must be wondering how does it? Good question. So inside your cells you have these things called hexose transporters, which are some cool yet boring membrane proteins. For the most part they kind of just chill in cytoplasmic vesicles, doing nothing and floating within a cell, but when insulin comes and binds to receptors on the outside of the cell, it basically summons all of the hexose transporters, to which they then join together like a fucking mech from power rangers and attach to the surface of the cell, creating enough space to allow them to be channeled through via facilitated diffusion, which is like passive diffusion (high to low), but through a channel/passageway. When the insulin goes away, voltron disassembles and glucose can no longer just float into the cell. Dope shit.]

Diabetes Pathophysiology 

Let’s first discuss type 2 diabetes, since it is the most common type. 90-95% of people with diabetes have this type. At the end of the day, the cause of type two diabetes is Ineffective Insulin use.

Now, what does that mean? Well, it might mean that the body isn’t producing enough insulin, or that the body’s cells aren’t responding to insulin. I’ll give a few examples to help explain.

Let’s say that you wake up and eat a large breakfast of sugary ass cereal and drink a lot of juice. On the way to school or work you have a bar of what is basically sugar, and a cup of coffee. Which is in reality (if you are like me at least), is just liquid sugar and caffeine. For lunch you go and decide to eat a sandwich, which, while it might not be bad, still does have carbs which turn into sugar. You then proceed to have another cup of coffee or soda or something high in sugar. You later have a candy bar as a way of congratulating yourself for getting through the work/school day (honestly, fucking mood, same. lmao) and then for dinner you eat some pasta (again, not innately bad, but because you already had so many carbs it’ll just fuck you up). You also drink some high sugar liquids because you like the taste of it. Then you have another snack before bed. Probably high in sugar. 

Well you remember how I previously said that insulin is released by your pancreas when blood sugar levels are high? Yeah well that shit is going to always be fucking high with a diet like that. Eventually the insulin receptors that are just chilling on your cells become fatigued and no longer respond to insulin because they’re just so done with it. Well the pancreas freaks out and decides to release even more insulin to try to compensate, but it will never be able to keep up, but it keeps trying and trying.

That’s basically how type 2 diabetes goes for the majority of people. Now for type 1.

So type 1 diabetes is a lot more rare. Less than 10% of people with diabetes have it. Type 1 diabetes is when your body’s immune system (the thing responsible for fighting infections) decides to attack the cells of the pancreas instead. It’s funny how the things meant to keep us safe can often times hurt us the worst. Ouch. Anyways, the scientific and medical community still aren’t sure what causes the immune system to do so. Some believe it’s due to genes, others believe its caused by viruses, or other environmental factors. More research is coming out every day. Really dope stuff. I guarantee you that the first person to discover the cause will not only quickly become incredibly rich (fuck the bourgeoise though) but will also win the Nobel Peace Prize that year. 

Well since the pancreas is no longer functioning, your body is unable to actually use any of the carbs you eat, and since your body kind of needs glucose to live and do anything, you quickly waste away. Before the invention of insulin in 1921, the average life expectancy for someone with type 1 diabetes was only 3 years. Imagine being a parent and bearing a child that quickly just died at 3 years old for reasons you didn’t understand. Terrifying and tragic. 

Most people with type 1 diabetes get diagnosed at the age of 14. There are some very telltale signs. So because the cells are unable to actually use the glucose, it kind of just sits in the bloodstream. This puts you at an incredibly high risk for infections, since bacteria will gladly use that sugar and grow rapidly in the bloodstream. Well because of concentration gradients (dude nature really loves conserving energy, I’ll write about it later), the water from within cells decide to leave the cell and enter the bloodstream, to balance out the concentration gradient of the high amount of molecules in the blood. Well on top of that the body really wants to get rid of the high sugar in the blood so it decides to urinate a lot to get rid of it, causing polyuria (poly meaning a lot, and uria meaning piss. So you piss a lot.) 

So in your body your kidneys are whats responsible for creating urine, and then it sends it off to the bladder to be stored till you piss it out. Well it works by filtering your blood and then getting rid of stuff it doesn’t need, like sugar, urea (which is the main part of urine, so your body uses proteins a lot, and when proteins are broken down you are left with nitrogen. Well this nitrogen when combined with carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen, create urea. Which isn’t healthy for you. That’s why you piss it out ), and toxins like ammonia. Among other stuff.

Normally your kidneys reabsorb the sugars and put it back into your bloodstream, but because you have so much sugar in your blood it’s unable to and instead the glucose goes to your urine. This is why they test your urine for sugar, and why diabetic patients can have urine that smells sweet. In fact old timey ass doctors would even taste your piss because if it was sweet you probably had diabetes. Well due to concentration gradients and your body naturally wanted to go to equilibrium, more water from your cells and body goes to join that urine. Because you are urinating so much, aka polyuria, you become really thirsty since you have no more liquid in your body. Like incredibly thirsty. We call this polydipsia. It’s almost an insatiable thirst. 

Well remember how I said your cells are unable to absorb sugar? Well your cells don’t like this and so it tells your brain to become hungry, to make you eat more, so that it can get sugar. But because you are unable to use the sugar no matter what, you stay hungry and continue to starve. This intense hunger is called polyphagia. (poly means a lot, phagia means eating.)

These three form the trinity of signs of diabetes. Polydipsia, Polyuria, and Polyphagua.

There is a fourth sign however. Diabetic Ketoacidosis. 

So a question you might have is how do people manage to live for so long if they aren’t able to process sugar? Good question. 

They process fats instead.

Okay so this isn’t innately bad. Yay, your body is burning fat, not too bad right? Well. Because someone with DM1 (diabetes mellitus type 1) can only process fats and no carbs, they quickly build up the amount of ketones (whats left when your body processes fats for energy) in the blood, and since ketones are a bit acidic, when they are present en masse they are able to change the pH of your blood. 

Other bad things that can happen due to DM1 and Ketoacidosis include having your electrolytes thrown out of wack due to them being urinated out, and with enough potassium gone you can have irregular heart rhythms which is never good. Lets see, due to severe dehydration your kidneys can decide to give up causing kidney failure. Because your body no longer gets rid of waste you can get really sick, and I don’t want to go into depth on that, but just think of all the troubles that can occur in your own house if you never threw out the trash. Tough shit. This is why so many patients with diabetes end up having to go to dialysis. Since they can’t filter their blood, a machine will have to. On top of this, because your fluid levels get thrown out of wack, fluids can actually build up in your lungs which makes it really difficult to breathe, as you can imagine. Basically it all just sucks.

Treatment

So treatment for type 1 diabetes is pretty straight forward, everytime you eat, wake up, go to bed, or feel terrible, you pretty much have to prick your finger, check your blood sugar levels, then give yourself a shot of insulin to compensate and everything works out. It’s very annoying, but something you ultimately have to just live with. And if you live in America then it is incredibly expensive and good luck fam.

For type two diabetics treatments a bit different. For a good amount of people, most people actually, if they were to just have a proper diet, eat less sugars and carbs, and just exercise daily, they would be fine and would be able to go about their days without worrying about diabetes. But this is the modern age we’re talking about and people are lazy sacks of shits and are unwilling to do the bare fucking minimum to ensure they have a good life and so instead we’ve developed a lot of drugs to compensate.

 Different drugs do different things. Heres what the main ones do:

Biguanides like metformin or glucophage combat insulin resistance and they decrease hepatic glucose production.

Sulfonylureas work by increasing insulin production from the pancreas.

Meglitinides increase insulin production from the pancreas as well, but these are absorbed much quicker than sulfonylureas which means that they are a lot less likely to cause hypoglycemia.

alpha glucpsidase inhibitors work by decreasing the absorption of carbs in the small intestine.

Theres more drugs but honestly I’ve spent more than 2 hours writing this already and I have to be at the hospital at 6 in the morning and I just want to shower and sleep. I’ll just say this is part 1 and I’ll continue writing about diabetes later on. Like gestational diabetes. 

[leejeongz]

Stray kids reaction to their s/o slipping and hurting their head

😹is this crack? Maybe? Anyways thanks for requesting, enjoy!😹

Bang Chan:

“Save the table while I get my food, babes” you said, getting out of your chair and heading to the buffet. There was so much delicious food but there was so many people, you were lucky to get a look in. You finally gathered all the food you wanted and started making your way back to your table when someone accidentally tripped you (apologising straight away of course), causing you and your plate full of food to clatter onto the floor. All you could do in the situation was laugh, especially when Chris saw you.

“But baby, there food on your forehead, did you hit it?” You shook your head and explained that you only hit it against the soft foods so he began to laugh with you. “The things you’d do for food, y/n” he shook his head and picked you up, thanking the staff for cleaning up your mess before grabbing you some more food.

Woojin:

You and Woojin were at an indoor play centre with your cousin. There were lots of things for her to play on and she had to be supervised so both you and Woojin went along. The ball pit was her first port of call. It’s infamously hard to run in balls, but that didn’t stop you guys. You chased after your cousin who was pretending to be running away from two giant bears. Yet you stumbled and fell face first into the ball pit. Your cousin by the point had made a friend her age but Woojin stopped to help you.

“Woojin, I’m fine, it’s literally a few plastic balls” you laughed, he still looked concerned though.

“But it’s dangerous, that’s why parental supervision is needed” he said before smiling “and you’re like 2 years old anyway” he joked while helping you up.

Lee Know:

Your first time at Minho’s family home, the first time meeting his cats. Gosh you were so excited to see them. You stepped into his house, cautiously looking for them, you didn’t want to scare them of course. As you did so however, you didn’t see the one right under your feet so, of course, you tripped. Right over little Dori.

Dori scarpered away while you lay on the ground, somehow on your back. He laughed for a short while before getting down to your level, his hand at the back of your head, separating it from the ground. He knew you hadn’t hurt it too badly you he didn’t want to take any chances. He’s a caring boy really.

Changbin:

Sports day and Changbin was desperate to come and watch. He even called in sick. You had decided to participate in the sack race this year, as well as the other compulsory races. You put on your brown sack, making eye contact with Changbin in the audience who was quite evidently filming you. The race began and you were in a comfortable second place, almost overtaking the person in first. You would have done, had you not have tripped face first. Your head in fact hit the person in front since you were so close, but that didn’t really hurt. You tried to stand up, getting tangled in the sack. Changbin rushed down, the race was now over and he was allowed onto the field. He helped you out of the death trap and stood you up, hugging you. “If you want I’ll delete the footage. You wanna get seen by the event paramedics??” Even if you said no he’d still carry you over there in his arms.

Hyunjin:

Carrying two glasses of ice cold cola, you made your way over to Hyunjin who was sat at the table in the corner of the diner. This was one of your first dates and you knew something was going to go wrong. Maybe it was because you were thinking about it, but suddenly, you tripped yourself up, right in front of the table you two were sat at. Your head hit the table on your way down causing you great pain. He quickly got off his chair, rushing over to you, trying not to laugh in case you weren’t in the mood. His hand rested on the back of your head, stroking your hair since you landed face first. “Y/n?” He asked after a while. You lifted your head off the ground. “Have you been crying?” He was seriously concerned, he no longer had any giggles to hold back. “Maybe” you whimpered out. “It’s okay, baby” he hugged you, sitting on the ground next to you “I’ll take care of you.” He pulled a packet of tissues out of his pocket, handing you one. “Wipe your tears away, you look prettier when your eyes are dry.”

Han:

Clumsy was your middle name, but it was Jisung’s too, maybe that’s why you two were the perfect couple. You could always guarantee that one of you would trip if you went out anywhere, which is why most of the time you stayed indoors.

Today however, you and him had decided to go to a museum nearby. You didn’t have access to a car so you made the joint decision to walk. It wasn’t far, 10-15 minute walk maybe. You’d actually made it quite far without falling. But as soon as you started thinking about it, you’d jinxed yourself. There you lay, flat on the floor, your chin grazed and your knees dripping with blood. Jisung tried to stop you by gripping your hand tighter but I didn’t work. He rifled through his backpack, eventually finding tonnes of plasters which he was not hesitant to put over your cuts. He took you back home and tucked you into bed.

“It’s just a few grazes Jisung” you complained but he wasn’t having any of it, and it wasn’t long before he came in with the cleaning stuff for cuts and grazes and with plenty of kisses.

Felix:

“No, you do it, Felix!!” you egged him on yet he just gave it back to you. A simple banana peel that had missed the bin, aka yours and Felix’s source of entertainment. You were going to test if the cartoons were real, which they most definitely were when you tried it and landed on your back, hitting your head on the tiled floor. He contained his laughter whilst tears filled your eyes. He put his hand on the back of your head and apologised numerous times for making you do it.

“Don’t be silly Felix, I was the stupid one who actually tried it” you laughed slightly.

“But can we please go and get you check out right now?! I want to know that you’re okay!”

Seungmin:

“Yeah let me just turn on the tv” you said, struggling to get out of the sofa and Seungmin’s hold on you. Finally getting out of his grip, you launched towards the tv faster than you anticipated, smashing your head into the tv stand. You turned around, laughing a little even though there were tears in your eyes. “Y/n, move your hand!” Seungmin called out, shooting up off the sofa. You moved your hand to reveal a slight cut. “Let’s get you to a&e, I’ll call a taxi” he said, rushing around trying to find his phone. “I’m fine,” you insisted and after the 6th time he turned back to you. “At least let me get you a plaster and some pain killers” he placed one hand on your upper arm “I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean it.” He said with sorry eyes. “Let me kiss it better” he pleaded before leaning forward and gently pressing his lips to your small cut.

I.N:

“I bet I can beat you to your room” Jeongin called out after throwing his bag down in your hallway. There was no doubt about it, he would obviously win, yet you still tried anyway. On your speedy ascent up the stairs, however, you tripped, smacking your head against another step. He turned around at the sound and shouted your name. Your mother came running too.

“I’m sorry Ms ____, I didn’t mean for them to trip” he pleaded. It wasn’t his fault that you fell but he most certainly felt it was. He rushed down to the step above your head. “Y/n?” He shook you.

Your head flicked up to see your boyfriends smiling face. “I’m fine, I just tripped.” But both he and your mother insisted you got checked out first.

Gifs aren’t mine

[thesecondstrongestlink]

On Morgan O’Brien, aka. MoMo

Hey so you know how I vague post about that YouTube celebrity that is actually an abuser? Well... lemme tell you about Morgan O’Brien aka Momo and how hurtful she’s been in the larping community, as well as myself. I’m expecting to get chewed up over this.

I met Morgan about 6 years ago through a mutual friend. At the time we really hit it off, she played DnD with us and she seemed like a pretty caring individual. In fact she’s the one responsible for bringing me in to this community of larping in the first place.  I used to be really close with Morgan. Myself and 3 other friends. We all started the hobby together and because of larping, we ended up getting closer as friends. We ended up going to our first year at bico together back in 2015. We had a whole group set up called the Reba rapscallions and it was an amazing time. It was also around this time that Morgan was starting her YouTube channel.  We supported her, we gave her a push and we helped in any way we could. There were some things that we ended up overlooking about how she treated us at the time, which now seem like obvious red flags.

Morgan had a tendency to get in over her head about things. She wanted to start a house in the ordo cervi, she wanted to put a bunch of role play together. We told her to do it, but be mindful that there were responsibilities that fame along with it. She understood that it meant she’d have to be in a place of leadership amongst the ordo and the larp community. Not even... Like 3 months in to the set up she started to just hand off responsibilities to other people because it wasn’t fun for her.  I specifically remember that she gave the actual running of the house to a new member because she “didnt want to do all the boring stuff.” She would then complain that no one warned her about the difficulties that running a house.  It was also around this time that my friends and I started to see a change in how Morgan treated us. If we couldn’t do something for her, she would act like we wouldn’t exist. She demanded attention, and then would turn the script on us if we ever complained.

One night, I called her on the way she was treating us. I told her that it didn’t feel fair, and it felt that I was more of a person who just did things for her rather than a friend. She did not take kindly to that. She asked me why I had brought this up because it made her feel worse about herself. She refused to take any responsibility for her actions, and by the time the conversation was done, I was the one apologizing to her for having an issue with the way she treated me.  Another night, Morgan had contacted me late crying that she had gotten too drunk and had participated in a few other things that she suddenly felt the need to spill all of her feelings and her fears out to someone. I just so happened to be around to hear them.  I was not mentally prepared to deal with the things she was bringing up, and I had tried to excuse myself from listening and told her to seek help. She flat stopped talking to me.  Later on I contacted her to talk about what happened and how I felt used to just be an emotional dumping site for her. Her response? She acted like it never happened, and made me feel like it was me who was just daydreaming all of this. I left it at that not wanting to push it.

The final straw was when my friends and I started to distance ourselves from her, and after an incident that took place during the New Year’s Eve of 2015/2016 (actually 2016/2017), we decided to cut all contact. I ended up blocking her on a few social media sites in hopes she would leave me alone. Morgan had then started messaging me on social media accounts that I HADN’T blocked her on as if nothing had happened. She was specifically finding ways to contact me behind my ability to distance myself from her, and still act like nothing was wrong. So at that point I told her, flat out, stop contacting me. She did, for a day, and then came back asking why as if she didn’t know. I snapped, and sent her a VERY long message explaining everything she’s done to me and my friends over the past year. I then told her that until she was willing to take responsibility for her actions, I did not want to hear from her. I thought that was the end of it. Until March of 2018.

She had someone send me a HAND DELIVERED LETTER. This person had no idea about the situation, and Morgan had manipulated this individual to send this letter. The letter contained no apology, and was an attempt to establish LARP ROLEPLAY. I was furious, especially since the letter began “if you’re reading this, it means you don’t hate me as much as you think.” Which is... PRIME GASLIGHTING.

I lost it on the person who sent the letter. I told them this wasn’t okay, and they were to never give me anything from Morgan ever again. That was how I found out that this person did not know about the whole situation, and I apologized for blowing up, that was absolutely on me

I ended up confiding in a dear friend about this whole thing. He was still relatively close to Morgan, but I trusted him as a dear friend. At first, he was hesitant to hear about all the abusive and manipulative things Morgan did, but eventually he saw the red flags.  Not long after however, he told me he was hanging out with her again, just as her camera man. I was concerned, and told him to be very careful. It wasn’t much longer after that where he cut off all contact from me. He refuses to talk to me, and I have a feeling it’s because of  Morgan and having her whisper in his ear. I tried my hardest to have him talk to me and find out what’s going on, but he refused to talk to me or tell me why he had just cut all communication from me. I was very upset. And now, it is 2019, and I cannot escape Morgan for the abuser that she is, because she has become a prevalent face within the larping community. I have been so afraid to talk about her and tell people exactly what kind of person she is, but I can’t handle it any more.

Morgan has and will drag you through the dirt if you do not cater to her whim, or if you refuse to see things her way. She is an abuser, she is manipulative, and has been for years. Behind that pink glamour cutesy princess aesthetic is a person who sees you as a tool.  I guarantee that the moment she either sees this or hears about this, she will drag me through the dirt more than she has, but I refuse to be quiet now that she is hurting people I care about, and CONTINUES to hurt people I care about.

There are plenty of other individuals who would make better faces of larp, and people who actually care about this community. Morgan should not be one of them.

[sheravs]

Why Should You Travel India in a Caravan

Why Should You Travel India in a Caravan: A great way to really experience a country like India is through the many personal and local interactions it has to offer. In replacing commercialism with real life stories, Caravan Rentals can be a top choice for travelers who want to experience the authentic Indian lifestyle.

·         Up-close local experience made possible

 Getting immersed in a countries culture is one way you really get to know a place. caravan tours typically navigate through candid settlements, allowing you to experience life in its most natural setting. These journeys are themed with real life stories or fables shared by fellow-travelers and locals from towns en route. By staying away from those commercialized hotels or even halting at secure local-homely spots, you’re going to be mesmerized through that feeling of being transported in time and place.

 ·         Safety guaranteed

 This fact could not be overstated especially if you’re visiting India for the first time or for that matter, doing your first south-Indian trip. caravan tours in general, and a fact if you’re renting them through Trippy Wheels, ensure you are well taken care of. They have trained professional drivers backed by a team who manage operations, who are well knowledgeable about the routes, destinations and equipped to handle any potential issues along the way. The drivers aka guides are trained to keep your safety an ultimate concern.

 ·         Carefree explorations

 Caravan escapades are the most fun because it has that element of the unknown within the known. You aren’t in any way obligated or ruled by curfews or check-in times. With the bed space that comes with these touring caravan hire, you can skip those annoying check-in processes in India. Improvisations on the go make these caravan weekend trips all about you and what you want to do. Stop at any place you want, stay longer if that’s what your heart wants. It’s a hassle-free way to catch that morning sunrise and soak in the scenic view with a cup of chai, made just the way you want it. Definitely something unique to India’s caravan journeys.

 ·         People – Connect at its core

 On a fun note, if marriages are made in heaven, then friendships are sure made in caravans. There’s something in the way holidays bring strangers together. Caravans make possible random-group holidays bound by common interests. It’s safe because travelers are registered and verified by professional caravan agencies. This is an absolutely fun way of getting shared perspectives. Fellow travelers get to hear out each other travel diaries, share insights, and of course bond over life stories that build a base for a lifetime of friendship with the help of these mini caravans. in a Caravan

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 In India, travel and camping can be expensive and more so accommodation. Most often as a customer you end up paying more than what you anticipated through hidden charges or price fluctuations. So here’s why caravans can be a big-saver. You can save on accommodation with your in-house bed space, and you can customize your Travel India in a Caravan plan if you’re going over budget on fuel. Simple. Travel addicts can now plan those frequent trips through caravan rentals and go easy on their wallet. Travel India in a Caravan

 ·         Cook-up your own food

 Food is definitely one of those big concerns when traveling to a new country. Caravans for rent in Bangalore come with compact kitchenettes where you can cook up your routine hygienic food. Be it ready made meal packs that are familiar to your tummy and palette to cooking self-washed ingredients from scratch. A healthy body is a key to having a successful holiday and caravans make that happen.

 ·         Customer experience

 Arranging a tour of exotic destinations can be quite an ordeal in India, or if not, then most often rushed up. Right from transport to accommodation, there are too many protocols when it comes to hotel check-ins and payments. Caravans, taking TrippyWheels for example, ensure they have the most simplistic type of customer payments and deals. Their per-day charges are mentioned up front and caravan to be returned back on the full tank. No hidden charges, no surprises.

 ·         Simple living, happy living

 The beauty of India is in its simple culture. Grand where it should and simple in its daily life. Sadly, over these last few years, people have chased after glamour, replacing India’s traditional and local charm. For this reason, caravans work out perfectly, because while you still get to experience these traditional communities, you also get to travel light and adopt minimalism on your holidays. What better way to travel. Letting go of all the unnecessary baggage, we often deem as needs. Caravans simultaneously give you that balance of introspection and exposure. Travel India in a Caravan

So, try uncomplicating your holidays. Sign up for these simple and insightful journeys that can change you or your perception forever. They can be the window to exploring India, at its core. Step in the shoes of a local. Get away from the cities, explore communities tucked away in remote towns and villages There’s surely more to what the travel media sells. Explore for yourself.

Happy Trippin’

 Read more at: https://www.trippywheels.com

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween

I had a hard weekend. Wife and I foster dogs through our local animal shelter, and we have had the sweetest, most loving hospice foster for the past week. But the last couple days were really difficult for her, and it was clear her time was growing short, so we made the decision and brought her in to put her to sleep today. After we dried our tears and pulled ourselves together, we both needed a distraction so she did some work while I, obviously, went to the movies. But I wanted something that I could pretty much guarantee wouldn’t make me cry, and if you have been reading my reviews you know that’s uh...more difficult than you would think. This is a roundabout way of saying I’d like to take a minute so just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the only solo adult in a Sunday night showing of Goosebumps 2.

I didn’t hate the first Goosebumps, I really didn’t. I like kooky and paternal Jack Black as R.L. Stine, the basic premise is pretty sound, and there’s some very PG-friendly spookiness wrapped up in a blaring technicolor CGI package. I mean, I see the movies for free so...I have a pretty generous spirit. That being said, this sequel felt a little more gimmicky, a little less interesting, and a lot more money-motivated than its predecessor so I was verrrry skeptical. Does this one even live up to the mediocrity of the original? Well...

Meh? It feels a lot like the clearance aisle of CVS on November 1st. There’s some decent Halloween treats in there, but they feel a little bit stale and very cheap. The basic plot is pretty perfunctory: Sonny (Jeremy Ray Taylor, aka Ben from IT) and his friend Sam (Caleel Harris) find R.L. Stine’s first novel locked away in his old house, so they open it and unleash hell on earth which is how it’s supposed to work based on the internal rules of the first movie Slappy, the ventriloquist dummy. THEN they have to say some Latin-y phrase and Slappy comes to life! He wants to create his own family, and to do that he’s going to bring all of Halloween to life. Because in this movie, Halloween is made up of material objects and not an intangible concept like a unit or time or a cultural ritual made up of certain performative practices. 

Some thoughts:

The film’s weakness is just a general lack of thought or care about the rules of its own world-building. Nothing feels very high stakes because it’s all so...silly. Call me old-fashioned, but I grew up on classic Disney. Gaston was a rapey abuser, Aladdin faced off against a gigantic fire snake, and Mufasa DIED ffs. I want my peril to feel, you know, fucking perilous! Here, the most fraught thing that happens is when Slappy turns the kids’ mom into his own mom by making her look like a ventriloquist dummy. It just doesn’t have the same punch. 

See also: jokes that make no sense. A punch line at the end of a classroom scene has a girl who’s been electrified as a result of a science experiment gone wrong. She has the crazy bushed out hair and smoke marks all over her face and clothes, and she cries, “Today is picture day!” Um. Excuse the fuck out of me, but I can literally see a girl with her face painted like a tiger right behind you, and there are other students in the classroom wearing costumes. For the purposes of your lazy ass joke, you want to act like picture day is on actual Halloween? Also, writers, you’re telling me there’s not a better laugh line for that scene? CHICANEROUS and DEPLORABLE.

See also: You have an antagonist that you know can teleport. Your solution is to put him in a suitcase with chains around it and drop it in a lake. Do you...like are you guys even trying? I’m so embarrassed for you.

See also: a big turning point in the movie is the kids figuring out that the plot of the book they found is coming to life. But if the novel is unpublished and has been locked up for 30 years, how does Wikipedia know what the plot is? At this point it feels like you’re doing this shit to me on purpose. 

See also: How did that Grandma not wake up????? You make a big show of the fact that she almost woke up when Sam grabbed some candy from a bowl, but then plates are flying, gummy bears are attacking, and nothing?

Ok, now for some actually not so terrible things. I still love Jack Black as Stine, but he gets far too little screen time here because he was busy filming the far superior The House With a Clock in Its Walls. 

This is the second movie I’ve seen this week where a girl goes to a dance, sees the boy she’s dating kiss someone else, and runs away crying. That boy is no longer relevant or involved in her life after that, because instead she goes to focus on her family and her own goals. Maybe my favorite part of the ripple effect that #MeToo and Time’s Up is creating is that movies - even kids’ movies - are making it clear that girls don’t have to tolerate shitty boys being shitty. That boyfriends aren’t everything, and having a boyfriend isn’t the necessary default setting of adolescence. And most of all, we no longer have to devote any screen time to a crying girl saying “I was so stupid!” or “Why doesn’t he like me?” because we’re just now getting to a point where we can accept that girls deserve better than the bare fucking minimum of human decency masquerading as A Good Boyfriend.

I did dig the actual R.L. Stine cameo as he was giving the science award in the end.

I will say, sometimes in the middle of mediocrity, one really dumb funny thing will appear out of nowhere, and for me it was a super dumb pumpkin that was carved really clumsily, and when he came to life, he said “Hi! My name is Pumpkin. I’m round!” I’m still laughing about this, and I’m not sure why.

The performances are fine, and the message is fine, and seeing all the trappings of Halloween coming to life and rampaging on a town is fine. It’s all fine. However, if you have to choose a silly, spooky kids’ movie starring Jack Black to attend this Halloween season, you’re much better off choosing The House With a Clock in Its Walls.