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katwriting · 2 years

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Fic: Man's Best Friend

Red, White & Royal Blue // One Shot

5+1 moments of Henry and David through the years. Featuring Arthur, Bea and possibly some Alex.

Word Count: 8.4k // Read on AO3 or continue reading below

One

Norfolk, December 2014

Sandringham is as gray and dull as ever. It's raining and there is barely any light coming through, which makes the ancient walls appear even more daunting than usual.

When Henry gets out of the car, he feels like the walls are staring back at him, the high windows a glassy copy of his grandmother's most judgmental stare. She's waiting there, behind one of those windows, expecting them all for the annual Christmas celebrations. Henry would much rather be anywhere else, literally. With Pez in the Maldives maybe. Or just back at the country house in Wales with his family.

Behind him, the car trunk slams shut and slow steps walk up behind him. His father comes to a stop next to Henry, pulling Henry's suitcase behind him over the gravel.

They look at the ancient brick in front of them for a moment until Arthur lets out a sigh. "You know," he says, "if it were up to me, we would be in Wales right now. Just the five of us. Let you all have a proper family Christmas for once."

Henry laughs at the thought. "I bet Gran would be thrilled about that."

Arthur pats his shoulder. "Don't worry. I have annoyed your grandmother so many times over the last twenty years. One more time really isn't going to matter."

He winks at Henry, then starts walking towards the main house. "Come on, son. Let's get this over with."

They don't get a moment to themselves for the next approximately 48 hours. Between the official family reunion, the photo session, the stiff, black-tie event that is Christmas Eve, and the photographed walk to the church service on Christmas morning, Henry feels like he doesn't get a moment to breathe either.

So when Arthur suggests going for a walk on the early afternoon of the 26th, Henry doesn't have to think twice. He makes sure to drive Philip off Rainbow Road one last time for good measure, then hands the controller to Bea and abandons their heated game of Mario Kart.

"Make sure to bring a scarf, you two. I don't need either of you to get sick," Catherine calls after them from where she's snuggled up in the window seat with a book and a fluffy blanket. Arthur makes a show of rolling his eyes, but begrudgingly grabs thick scarves for the both of them from the wardrobe by the door.

When they step out of the castle and the crisp December air hits them, Henry feels like he is taking his first proper breath in days. He lets out a sigh, his breath forming a little cloud in the cold air in front of his face.

Arthur looks over at him and smirks. "I suppose you are about as tired of all of this as I am?"

"You have no idea," Henry says, his shoes scuffling over the pebbles. "Sometimes I wish I'd stayed at Eton for the holidays. But then again, Pez is not coming back until the new year, so."

Arthur makes an offended noise. "You wound me, son. First you stay away from us all year, and then you can't bring yourself to show some excitement about seeing your old man. I can't believe I raised such an ungrateful traitor. I must speak to your mother about this, maybe there's still a chance we can return you."

Henry laughs and bumps his shoulder into Arthur's as they continue walking down the misty trail.

They walk for about an hour and venture into the public area of the Sandringham Estate, their PPOs walking discreetly behind them. Arthur has been working with the same ones for years. He trusts them, so Henry trusts them too.

(He might also trust them because they discreetly got him out of a number of potentially very embarrassing situations over the past year or two. Anyway. Details.)

They are about halfway on their way back to the castle, when an elderly man with a dog walks by. A beagle, fur already slightly gray around the eyes. When they pass, the dog ventures over and barks at them accusingly.

"Dolly, stop it!", its owner says and closes the distance between them. "I'm terribly sorry, she's usually nicer to people. But you know, when they are in one of their moods," he says, completely unaware of who he is talking to.

"Oh, it's quite alright," Arthur says and crouches down to scratch the beagle between its ears. It stops barking immediately. "I used to have one just like that when I was young. Had him for almost fifteen years, he was a good lad."

The man nods. "Oh yes, if you are lucky they get quite old. Dolly here is turning 12 next month, aren't you, girl? I got her as a present for my wife, and after my Nina passed away last year, the old girl has been keeping me company."

Dolly has now moved on from enjoying Arthur's attention to giving Henry her best attempt at puppy dog eyes. And despite her obviously old age, she is still quite effective. Henry laughs and crouches down to scratch her between the ears. The dog positively melts at the attention.

Arthur watches him with a fond smile. "They make for great friends, don't they? Especially when you're lonely. I always wanted to get our kids one, but never got around to it."

"You know, it's never too late for a belated Christmas present," Henry jokes from the ground. He gets up and brushes the dust of his pants. "Or you could put it on the list for next year. I'm sure Mum would be thrilled."

When they have walked on and the man and his dog are out of earshot, Henry leans over to his dad. "Also, having a dog running around Sandringham on Christmas Eve would make Gran go so mad. Just imagine that."

Arthur laughs loudly. "It would, wouldn't it? Even more reason to get one. Maybe next year."

+++

Two

Wales, December 2015

They don't go to Sandringham next year.

In fact, they don't really do much for Christmas at all. Neither of them feels like celebrating, given the circumstances. If Bea hadn't called Henry and practically begged him to come home for the holidays, Henry would have stayed at Oxford. Even the Queen, despite her longstanding indifference towards Arthur, respects their choice to stay away from the extended family celebrations without comment.

They go to the country house in Wales instead, just the four of them. But they don't get much into a holiday spirit there, either.

The thing is, while Catherine found some hiding places back in London, the country house was all Arthur. It's not even an official royal residence, just an old house near a small town that Arthur bought some time after his first Bond movie and used as a hideaway whenever the press and the attention in London got too much. Henry has heard many stories about how he and Catherine would camp out here when they were younger, get to know each other without the scrutinizing glances of the public and the even more scrutinizing glares of courtiers and the queen. He found out later that this was also where Arthur proposed to Catherine, way before they had even thought of asking for the queen's official approval. The movie star and the rebel princess at their best.

His presence in the house is everywhere – in the fluffy old rugs that he picked, the old chimney he'd light a fire in whenever they were here in the winter, the family photos on the wall. He is everywhere and nowhere at all, the memories of him light as the wind drafting through the hallway, yet weighing heavier than the old bricks that carry the roof.

Maybe that's an appropriate analogy, Henry thinks – his father was the foundation that kept their family together. Now that he's gone, they stray apart, like a home that's been dismantled by a storm.

And in in the eye of the storm, there is nothing but quiet. Cold, empty, suffocating quiet.

When Henry feels like he can't take it anymore, he grabs Catherine's keys to unlock the backdoor and steps out into the garden. There are a few concrete steps leading down from the patio to the lawn – his siblings and him spent many summers drawing on them with chalk – and Henry almost slips when he walks. He catches himself on the railing – Arthur put it there after he almost broke a leg once slipping just like Henry almost did. The backyard is abandoned, the grass more brown than green. The sky is covered by heavy clouds and there is thick fog clouding Henry's vision.

It almost feels like Wales misses Henry's dad too.

Henry steps over the wet grass towards the old oak tree in the corner of the garden. There is a swing hanging from a strong branch that he remembers building with his father and Philip, back in the day. Before.

Henry's stomach lurches as he realizes that this is what his life is going to feel like from now on – split into a before and an after.

He leans heavily against the tree and squeezes his eyes shut to fight back the tears. It's ironic, really. Considering the amount of crying he has done over the past months, he should be out of tears by now. But apparently life won't even grant him that small favor. His gaze drifts over to the swing. It's still there, swaying softly in the wind, just like it has for years. For winter holidays, autumn getaways, long weekends in early spring when it was still too cold to stay outside for too long. But it no longer reminds Henry of all those happy memories. Instead, the sight of it just stings.

He remembers building the swing as clearly as though it happened days, not years ago: His dad coming home from an incognito trip to the hardware store, searching in the shed for the right piece of wood. Picking the right tree with his dad and Philipp. His mom's voice calling from the patio, warning them to be careful. Philipp spraining his wrist anyway when an attempted jump from the swing went wrong one day. Himself sitting on the swing, his legs dangling in the air and Arthur next to him on the ground, flipping through an old script. Bea and Philipp playing ball in the grass, Catherine sunbathing nearby.

Just a few short months ago, those moments were memories he looked back on fondly. Now, they feel like relicts from a different time. Henry looks at the old swing, contemplates sitting on it to see if it will make him feel any different, any better, make him hurt any less.

Instead, he sighs because he already knows the answer.

He turns his back on the tree, the swing and the memories, and heads back into the house. His jacket is still on the armrest of the sofa, just where he has carelessly left his stuff for years. His mother would always playfully scold him, tell him to clean up after himself. This year, she doesn’t. Henry's not even sure she realized the jacket was there. Just another one of those things that Arthur's death ripped away from them.

He passes through the hallway and walks out the front door. The PPOs are stationed outside the fence as usual. Henry throws their head of security a hopeful glance. She doesn't acknowledge it, but when her colleagues set off to follow him, she holds them back.

Henry shoots her a little smile. His favorite person on the royal staff might be Shaan, but there is a reason she comes in at a very close second place.

He's made it just a few steps down the road when someone calls his name. When Henry turns around, Bea is following him with quick little steps, bundled up in that ratty trench coat she claims is vintage and a scarf that could better be described as a middle-sized blanket.

"Going somewhere?", she calls after him.

"Can't stay at the house," Henry mutters. His soles drag over the wet pavement. He kicks a rogue pebble out of the way.

Bea catches up to him in a matter of moments. She stops and looks at him for a moment, really looks at him. It's one of those looks she gets when she sees right through him. He hates that look.

"Mind if I join you?"

Henry shrugs and doesn't say anything. But he doesn't send her away either.

They walk in silence for a while, passing by a house or a street sign every now and then, but otherwise not running into a single person. This is what Henry loves about this place. The remoteness of it all, the ability for them to be just them, away from the prying eyes of the public and the even more prying eyes of the people at Gran's court.

They make it to the little town's center and are walking down the main street lined by little shops and a handful of pubs and coffee shops. There are a few more people here, but they don't recognize them. And if they do, they have the decency not to bother them.

"He loved this place so much," Bea says.

Henry sighs. "I know. We came here so often."

He looks around the familiar shop displays decorated with Christmas lights, the coffee shops selling gingerbread flavored everything, the warm light that comes out from the pub windows.

It's almost like nothing changed. Except everything did.

His throat closes up and he takes a deep breath to swallow down the wave of emotion that suddenly hits him.

Grief really is the most unpredictable bastard.

Bea doesn't say anything, but takes his hand and squeezes it gently.

Suddenly, she stops and points at a building that's still brightly lit although it's past 4pm on December 23rd.

Maisie's Pet Shelter, the sign across the door says.

Bea frowns. "Well that one's new for sure."

She nods towards the place. "Wanna head in?"

And Henry would do just about anything to get away from the kind, but still curious eyes from the old ladies having coffee in the little shop across the street. So he nods.

"Sure."

***

There's nobody there when they walk into the shelter – just the front desk, a computer, a bunch of flowers and a few pictures of all kinds of pets on the brightly colored walls. But as soon as they walk in, a bell chimes over their heads and announces their entrance.

"Be right there!", a bright voice calls from behind the doorway that leads out of the reception area and is covered with a colorful curtain. Quick steps approach and a moment later, a young woman walks through, auburn curls bouncing with every step. She smiles at them when she sees them standing in her shop. "Hello, welcome! I'm Maisie! How can I help you?"

Bea smiles at her. "Oh, we just stopped by to check out your shelter. Are you new here?"

The woman – Maisie – nods. "I am, I just opened it a few months ago. Would you like a tour?"

Henry nods and speaks up for the first time since they entered the shop. "Why not?"

Turns out a tour through a shelter full of adorable pets of all ages is exactly what Henry needed. Maisie happily shows them around the different rooms and introduces them to all kinds of animals – from adorable hamsters and rabbits up to pigs, a pony and even a donkey that's deaf and half-blind, but no less adorable. With each kennel they visit and each animal they get to pet and coo over, the iron grip of sadness around Henry's heart seems to lighten a little more.

That is, until they make it to the part of the shelter that houses the latest arrivals and a kennel with a tiny beagle inside. As they walk up to it, the dog rises up on its chubby little feet and pads over to the kennel door. He yaps excitedly at Henry, even though it doesn't quite carry yet.

Henry laughs and crouches down in front of the kennel. "Hello there," he says and reaches a finger through the bars. The beagle taps his cold little nose against them.

"That's one of our newest arrivals," Maisie says from behind them. "We got him just a few days ago. He was supposed to be a Christmas present, but you know how people are sometimes. A friendly guy, that one. He made friends with all of our other dogs. Even with Mr Wobbles over here. They have been inseparable ever since the little guy arrived here."

Henry looks up and sees her pointing towards – well, the most giant cat he has ever seen. It is sitting in the corner, preening and waving its tail, just a few feet away from the little beagle's bed. Henry can't quite pinpoint what it is, but something in the cat's glare unsettles him.

Bea, not so much.

"Oh my god", she coos as soon as she sees the cat. She walks over and starts petting it. Henry can hear the cat's weird purrs all the way from over where he's still busy petting the dog. "Mr Wobbles, though?," Bea says, "what a funny name for a cat."

Maisie grins. "His previous owners named him. A lovely old couple, but they were moving to a retirement home and couldn't bring him with them. They said their grandkids named him and the name sort of stuck."

She tells Bea more about the cat, but Henry is only half listening. The little beagle has now moved on to sniffing Henry's hand, the one that isn't busy scratching the dog's ears. When Henry stops for a second, the beagle nudges its head against his had – as though it wants to tell him to go on. When he does, the puppy lets out a satisfied little noise and settles down next to Henry, looking up at him his enormous dark brown puppy eyes.

Henry is melting.

Maisie's voice draws him out of puppy heaven and back to the present. "They are both still available for adoption, you know? Just in case that is something you both are interested in," she adds, smirking.

Bea looks at him from where she's still snuggling the gigantic cat, its hair all over her coat and a mischievous glint in her eyes. "What do you say, brother? Fancy being reckless?"

Two weeks later, Kensington Palace gets two furry new residents and Maisie's Pet Shelter receives a sizeable donation. Along with it, she's delivered a giant flower bouquet with a card and a photo. It's Bea and Henry in the music room back at Kensington Palace, the young beagle snuggled up in Henry's lap and Mr Wobbles sitting next to Bea, eating what appears to be an entire box of…Jaffa Cakes?

"Merry belated Christmas! Thank you for introducing us to the best Christmas presents we have ever gotten for ourselves. Love – Henry, Bea, Mr Wobbles & David"

Three

London, Summer 2016

Henry never thought of himself as a dog person. Or just a pet person in general.

All of that changed once David came into his life – all soft fur, floppy ears, midnight cuddles and that adorable glance he gets when he wants a treat. Ever since, Henry's world absolutely revolves around his fluffy new roommate. And David quickly turns into much more of a friend than Henry expected.

He is there for everything – the good times and the bad, the happy and sad days, the first anniversary of Arthur's death. Henry's dating disasters and subsequent breakups, Bea's relapse, Philipp's stubbornness. Catherine's empty glance, the Queen's snide comments and Henry's bad moods about her snide comments. He is there when Henry feels like ranting, when he needs someone to listen, when could use a run to clear his head, or when he just needs to curl up in his room and shut the world out for a while.

Most importantly, David is there when Henry comes home from Rio.

His time in Brazil passed by in a whirlwind of heat and handshakes, drinks with important people, polite smiles and meaningless conversations. A toxic mix of smiling for the cameras, discreetly accepting the pills Shaan hands him, just as discreetly taking them and all the while making sure nobody notices how he really feels just about a year after his father's death.

But then, in the middle of it all, shining bright like a lightning rod and just as electric: A head full of dark curls, a yellow flower tucked into the pocket of a loose button-down shirt. A Texan drawl. A smile so bright it stood out even among the most flashing of camera lights around them.

Alex Claremont-Diaz.

The son of the woman who might be America's next president. Radiant, confident, unapologetic, and without a single ounce of doubt the most gorgeous human beings Henry has ever seen. And thus, completely off limits.

At least that's what he has been telling himself to at least somehow justify the fact that he behaved like an absolute idiot when Alex simply wanted to introduce himself.

He's back in his room at Kensington, sitting on the sofa by the window, wrapped up in his oldest cardigan and stress-eating a truly embarrassing amount Jaffa cakes. David is curled up by the fire place, and has been listening to him ranting about his fabulous first encounter with Alex Claremont-Diaz for the better part of an hour now.

Every now and then, he gives Henry a sympathetic wince or barks a little. Henry tells himself that's David's way of trying to cheer him up. Maybe he also just wants to go for a walk. Unfortunately, neither scenario is in the cards until Henry has found a way out of his predicament.

"Can you believe it?", he goes on. "For once in my life, I meet this absolutely gorgeous, charming person and all I can do is make him believe I'm too arrogant to talk to him?"

David gives him another little sympathetic wince. He pads over from his spot near the fireplace, eyes the distance between the floor and where Henry is sitting, then hops up and into Henry's lap. David has gotten much better at that, Henry realizes – when he was a puppy, he could barely climb over the edge of his dog bed. Now, he jumps onto the couch or Henry's bed like it's nothing.

Henry scratches him behind his floppy little ears. David stretches out his paws and yawns in satisfaction.

"And you know what's the worst bit?", Henry goes on. "I had a plan, David. I was going to get the Olympics over with, preferably without completely embarrassing myself and then go on a nice holiday or something. Just…get away from everything for a while. Think about what I'm going to do next. No drama allowed. And yet, here I am."

David looks at him from his big brown dog eyes. Henry thinks there's something understanding in them.

He looks at his dog, who from the looks of it, couldn't be more comfortable if he tried. "You're such a good boy, aren't you? I wish I could switch places with you sometimes. You don't have to worry about gorgeous Americans who will probably never talk to you again."

"Well that sounds depressing," a voice chirps from his door.

Henry jumps and turns around to see his sister standing in the doorway. She's got a smug smile on her face and that awful cat of hers on her arm. Henry swears Mr Wobbles gained at least another five pounds since he last saw him before Rio.

"You know, you need to stop feeding Mr Wobbles so many treats."

"Nonsense. He's a little small for his weight, is all."

Scoffing, Henry looks at the frankly gigantic cat who, even though he is a goddamn cat, manages to somehow stare right back at him. Smugly.

"Anyway, stop trying to distract me from the giant rainbow-colored elephant in the room. Why don't you just apologize to Alex?"

"How would you know I was even talking about Alex?"

Bea shoots him a look.

Henry sighs. "Fine. But seriously, how would I do that? It's not like we exchanged contact details before I behaved like an absolute arse to him."

"You know, there's this thing called the internet," Bea deadpans, "and another one called Instagram DMs. Welcome to the 21st century, brother. I'm starting to think all these books about regency England are starting to rub off on you."

Henry grabs the nearest pillow and throws it at her. "Stop Austen-shaming me in my moment of crisis. Her books are still better than whatever you're reading. What was that again? People and the latest trending threads on Twitter?"

Moments later, the pillow comes right back at him. "Stop trying to change the subject, then!"

Bea walks over to the couch and sits down next to him, reaches for his Jaffa cakes and feeds one to Mr Wobbles. "So. What happened with the American?"

Henry sighs. "Where do I start? We were at the diving finals, and I ran into him backstage and he introduced himself and wanted to shake my hand and I…well, I wasn't really in a mood to talk to anyone because that day was absolute hell and packed with boring people, and then there was Alex and I sort of panicked and I sort of…asked Shaan to get rid of him?

Bea gives him one of those looks she always gives him when she knows he fucked up, but doesn't want to tell him so. "You did not."

If the floor was so kind as to open a hole for Henry to jump into, he would do so without a second thought. Right about now. "I did. And I could punch myself in the face for it. But I still did and now the possible future First Sone of the United States it going to hate me for the rest of his life."

"You're an idiot." "I know."

"Also you are gone on him."

"I know. A terrible decision, really."

Bea chuckles and feeds Mr Wobbles another one of Henry's Jaffa cakes. Henry is so distraught he doesn't even bother telling her off.

She looks at her obese cat for a moment, then back at him. "I mean, now that I heard the story I have to admit you're right. You did behave like an arse. And Alex might hate you now, sure. But who knows – you might get lucky within all of this."

Henry frowns. "What do you mean?"

"His mum is just a presidential candidate for now, isn't she? Maybe she ends up losing and you'll never have to see him again. Presto, problem solved."

"Maybe", Henry concedes, picking at a loose thread in the couch cushion. "I'll just hope for the best."

He doesn't tell her that never seeing Alex again is the absolute last thing he wants. But then again, it would make things a lot easier for him, wouldn't it? So maybe it would not be such a bad thing. Maybe Bea is right after all.

Six months later, Henry wakes up to the news that the next president of the United States is going to be Ellen Claremont.

Upon reading the news, he drops his phone on the mattress next to him and yells into his pillow. Apparently, easy isn't in the cards for him for another while.

Certainly not for the next four years.

Four

London, Summer 2018

It is, indeed, everything but easy. But thankfully, David is there to listen to Henry as always.

Even when he's acting like a hopelessly lovesick fool.

Especially then.

Five

London, December 2020

It's another one of those early, gloomy winter mornings and Henry is out at the park with David. David is antsy today, tugging at his leash, wagging his tail, and barking at every other tree they pass. His excitement proves to be contagious – even Henry finds himself in quite a good mood today. Ever since the disaster at Philip's wedding (Martha has been dragging his ass for weeks about it), him and Alex have been talking more or less every day. Alex's texts come in at all hours of the day and night, sometimes at such an ungodly hour that Henry gets slightly worried about Alex's sleep schedule. Or just…his general ability to sleep. But nevertheless, they are a beacon of light in otherwise dull days and Henry would not miss them for the world. Even if his own sleep schedule has to suffer for a bit.

As they're walking, Henry's phone chimes with a new message. Given that it is just past 6 am on a Sunday and there is no humanly possible way Pez has risen from the dead yet, there is only one person the message could be from.

ACD 🦃 I have a situation. Some help please?

Upon reading the message, Henry lets out an exasperated sigh and tries to ignore the treacherous warmth bubbling up in his chest. He sits down at a park bench and clicks the extend button on David's leash. On second thought, he lets out a sharp whistle and waits until David abandons the puddle he'd been inspecting and trots over to him.

"Sit, David", Henry says and scratches David behind the ears. He unclicks David's leash altogether and takes David's favorite toy out of his messenger bag. He tosses it out into the meadow. "Go on, mate. This might take a while."

As David trots away, tail wagging happily, Henry hits the video call button on his phone and waits for it to connect. Ever since The Great Turkey Calamity, they found that video calls were a lot more convenient for them. Alex says it's because he needs Henry to "see my goddamn face and gestures" for him to really get his point across. Henry just happily obliges him.

When Alex picks up, Henry spots familiar glass paneling and a stack of comic books in the corner.

"The solarium this time?"

Alex sighs and runs a hand over his face. He looks tired. "Yeah. I needed somewhere quiet. Leo's on some engagement with mom tonight and June rarely comes up here. So."

"Hm."

A beat. Alex twists one of his curls around his fingers. It's only then that Henry realizes that he is once again perched upside down on one of the chairs up there. It makes Henry smile a little.

"Where are you? That doesn't look like Kensington Palace to me."

"Just out for a walk."

"Before 7 am on a Sunday." Alex doesn't even try to make it sound like a question.

Henry raises an eyebrow. "You're one to talk. What time is it now for you, 2 am?"

"Point."

Henry shrugs. "So what was that situation you talked about?"

Alex runs a hand over his face. "The fucking color scheme for New Year's."

Henry raises an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"The color scheme for, you know, the New Year's Young America Gala? The party we use as a ruse each year in order to get absolutely fucking wasted with half of the hottest young people of the country? The one we throw literally every year and that's like…the hottest New Year's Party in the country? Come on, Henry, pay attention. I can't do all the work here."

Henry rolls his eyes fondly. "Alright then. So what's going on about the color scheme?"

"It's more like what isn't going on about the color scheme at this point, man. Nora wants rainbow colors, June wants pastel, the PR department wants red, white and royal blue…and for some reason, everyone keeps annoying me about it. Do I look like a goddamn expert on fuckin' party confetti colors to you?"

"Well you are one of the hosts, so…"

"Ha ha. Very funny. You know, if I wanted someone to be all smart about it, I could have just talked to June."

Henry smirks. "Where is she, anyway?"

"Fuck if I know. She's been obsessing over the guest list all day and now her and Nora have gone MIA, but left me pretty clear instructions that I am to take care of the confetti thing."

"So I am your lone help in solving this color-coded matter?"

"Sort of."

Letting his gaze wander over the meadow, Henry smirks. David is apparently done inspecting a pile of leaves and is now coming back towards the bench.

"Well, lucky for you I shall not be the only one you have to rely on in this very delicate matter. We got some help." He whistles sharply and David's little feet speed up as they close the last few steps up to the bench. He hops up and nudges Henry's elbow, making the hand holding his phone wobble a bit.

Alex's tinny voice perks up as he puts two and two together. "Oh wait, is David here too? Let me say hi! Hi David!"

Henry sighs fondly. "Alright. Say hi, mate." He lowers the phone so Alex gets a screenful of adorable, slightly muddy Beagle. "Alex has an issue that he would like to discuss with us. And we need your help since you're the best with just about everything."

"Hey little buddy," Alex coos through the phone, "God, you're so adorable. Okay listen, I gotta pick colors for this party thing and your dad is no help, so you have to help me out here, alright?"

David tilts his little head to the side a little bit, just like when he's listening to Henry. If Henry weren't so absolutely gone on Alex, he would find it a little disquieting how easily David opened up to him. But then again, he's one to talk.

Luckily, Alex doesn't notice any of Henry's internal turmoil. Instead, he is busy explaining the New Year's Party to David, in all detail.

"…So, we got option A, rainbows. You know, the colorful things on the sky when it's just rained and the sun comes out and it looks all pretty and colorful and –"

"Dogs don't see all colors, Alex", Henry chimes in.

"-don't listen to your dad, I think that you could do anything you want to do. Anyway, so we got the rainbow option…"

David stays silent.

On the screen, Alex grins. "Hm, no? Okay, then the other option would be pastel colors, you know like flowers in the spring when they're just coming out and-"

A bug flies by. David tries to eat it.

"I see how it is then. Okay, David, so last option – we got this dark blue theme going on with like –"

At that, David barks and tries to lick the screen. Henry pulls his phone away at the very last second, but there's still a bit of dog slobber all over the screen.

Alex laughs.

David blinks.

Henry melts.

He clears his throat to cover it up. Luckily, it's Alex who keeps talking and Henry doesn't risk embarrassing himself any further.

"Well, looks like we got a decision. Thanks David, I appreciate it," Alex says, smirking. "You've been a great help. Much better than your dad."

"Hey! I brought the two of you together, it's not like I didn't do anything at all", Henry says to cover up the fact that he didn't do anything at all.

On screen, Alex is now telling David how good of a dog he is and absently running his hand through his hair, making it just the tiniest bit messier than usual. A stray curl falls into his face.

Henry is officially going to die.

Mercifully, Alex decides that he has tortured Henry enough for one day.

"Alright y'all, thanks for helping me. I'm gonna let you all go continue your walk and pester June some more about the guest list. Talk to you soon."

When he hangs up, Henry lets out a sigh. He looks over at David, who is still sitting on the bench next to him and is looking at him quite quizzically.

Henry sighs. "Stop looking at me like that. I already know I am in so much trouble."

***

The next day, Henry receives an email from Shaan.

June Claremont-Diaz has invited you to the Young America Gala on New Year's Eve. Would you like to attend? The invitation includes a plus one. Maybe Mr Okonjo would be interested in joining you?

Attached, as always, is a calendar invite. Shaan likes to have these things in order.

Henry has never clicked "Attend" to one of Shaan's calendar invites faster.

When he looks up, David is back by side, looking up at him with that slightly judging look he sometimes gets. Mostly when he knows Henry has done something stupid. Henry is sure he got that look from Mr. Wobbles.

He lets out a sigh and pets David's head. "Stop it. I'm only human."

And instead of pondering on it for much longer, he opens his chat thread with Pez and starts typing a new message.

What are you doing for New Year's?

Five

London, January 2020

He should have known.

Nothing good ever came from him actually being excited about something. About someone.

Henry really needs to stop putting himself into miserable situations like that. Well, actually, he just needs to stop kissing gorgeous Americans at New Year's and then running away.

He's back at Kensington, has been for a few days, but his mind is still under that Linden tree at the White House. Never actually left. At this point, Henry has some serious doubts that it ever will.

He gets up. Paces through the room. Sits back down. Yells into one of the ugly pillows on the even uglier couch. Makes a note in his mind that he needs to get a new one. If he doesn't die of embarrassment first, that is. Starts pacing again.

However, none of it will make what happened on New Year's go away. It's all like a slow, torturing movie playing in the back of Henry's head – with the sole purpose of tormenting him and making him feel even more miserable about the whole thing. And if that doesn't suffice, there's always Alex's texts and phone calls.

He has been ignoring him for days now. Which would be fine if there weren't the state dinner later that month. Which Henry needs to attend. In person. And can't back out of because of their stupid best-friends-rouse agreement that's got him into this fucked up situation in the first place.

It's not that Henry didn't try to get out of the state dinner. He actually talked to Shaan about it. Or at least, tried to. Until Shaan raised one unimpressed eyebrow and reminded him that unfortunately, Henry was bound to the agreement and there was nothing he could do "unless you would like to discuss this personally with Miss Bankston, sir."

Henry very much wouldn't.

He hates his life a lot of the time. But today just a little extra.

Even more so when the stylist calls and asks him what he would like to wear for the state dinner. When Philip texts and reminds him to make the new prime minister look good. When Shaan forwards him a briefing by the Downing Street press team about the photo ops they're going to have to do at the White House. When he finds a staged photo with the Prime Minister, the President and the White House Trio at the top of that very list. And just a little more when he learns that he is being sent on another one of those fake dates with some model or aspiring actress to keep up appearances. Which is of course going to be photographed and put into the press. For all the world, including Alex Claremont-Diaz, to see.

Henry is so royally fucked.

Even David winces a little when Henry tells him about his situation. When Henry eventually slouches on the couch, David hops up into his lap and snuggles into him. Henry lets out a sigh.

"You know, I'd like to tell myself that there's nothing that could possibly go wrong", he muses and scratches David's head, "but that's what I told myself last time. And now here we are."

David winces in support. He climbs into Henry's lap and lays down, rolling into a ball of fluff. His cold little nose touches Henry's hand. Somehow, it's a little soothing.

Maybe there is a way to get through this. It's only a dinner, after all.

+ 1

New York, June 2021

"Love, hurry up. We're going to be late."

There's a curse coming from the vague direction of the bedroom, then the thud of footsteps rumbling down the stairs. Well, one footstep. Because for some reason, Alex is still pulling a sock over his other foot as he descends the staircase.

If they weren't almost late already, Henry would take a moment to appreciate that level of balance.

Instead, he cocks an eyebrow at Alex from opposite the stairs, where he's leaning against the wall and waiting. Shoes (and socks) on, jacket in hand, ready to go.

"You're going to trip and break your neck at some point."

Alex grins smugly. "Perhaps. But at least I know you'll write me one hell of a eulogy."

Somehow, Alex makes it to the bottom of the staircase without breaking his neck. Henry is secretly glad for it. Not only because he intends to keep Alex around for the rest of his life, but also because – well, it would be quite the situation to explain to paramedics et al. Henry would much rather avoid that.

"Besides, what do you mean we're gonna be late?" Alex asks as he pulls one of Henry's old Oxford hoodies over his t-shirt. He walks over to the hallway closet and starts rummaging around for something. Henry internally winces as scarves, caps and the occasional dog outfit start dropping out at random. He just organized that closet the other day. "We're talking David for a walk. Last time I checked, beagles don't know how to read a clock."

"Excuse you, I did raise him to be very punctual," Henry counters.

Alex scoffs from where he's halfway disappeared into the closet. "He's a goddamn dog, H."

At that, David winces.

Immediately, Alex steps away from the closet and crouches to the floor to pet David's head. "I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't mean that. You know I think you can do anything you set your mind to."

"You better," Henry mumbles. He and David take a step closer to the front door. Alex, not so much.

Henry pointedly checks his watch again. "Come on now, or we're going to be late for real."

"It's still a walk, H. The two people and one dog involved in it are right here. There's no way we can be late", Alex mumbles, his voice muffled because he's back to rummaging around their winter clothes.

"Well, there is if two of the three involved individuals made lunch plans with June and Nora after."

"They're used to me being late. It's fine."

Henry rolls his eyes again, but relents anyway. It might have to do with the fact that Alex finally emerges from the closet, all soft eyes and even softer smile. After all, Henry is only a man.

So, he extends the arm that isn't holding David's leash and lets Alex step into his embrace. He pulls him close, breathes in the familiar scent. Alex wraps his arms around Henry's waist and lays his head against his shoulder.

Henry drops a kiss on Alex's curls and lets himself enjoy the familiar warmth of Alex's hug for a minute.

Until David yaps again, that is.

This time, Alex lets out a laugh. "Alright, alright, buddy. Message received. We're leaving."

He leans up and kisses Henry softly, then plucks David's leash from his hand and steps away, towards the door. He shoots Henry a smirk. "You coming? I don't wanna be late."

It's only been a few months since Henry and David moved across the pond, but thanks to their daily walks, they have been able to explore plenty of nice routes in nearby parks. They are close enough to be enjoyable, but far enough away from the main trails to allow them a modicum of privacy.

Henry walks David before he leaves for the shelter and then once again after he comes home. Alex joins them often enough, particularly when he needs to clear his head, rant about his day, or both.

Today, however, is the rare kind of weekend where neither of them is all that busy and they can take a walk just for walking's sake. No deadlines, papers or exams breathing down Alex's neck (yet), no thoughts about the shelter occupying Henry's mind. Just the two of them and David, relaxing and enjoying the summer sun.

Henry has David's leash in one hand and Alex's hand in the other, the sun is shining, but it's not unbearably hot yet. Later, they're going to meet June and Nora at a restaurant June has been dying to try out. And maybe check out the new Bond movie Alex has been nagging Henry about for weeks. But other than that, their day is blissfully empty.

Henry could get used to this.

He smiles softly at the thought. Because he does indeed get to get used to this.

Alex's voice brings him back to reality and the track ahead of him. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking."

"Wanna share with the class?"

Henry gently shakes his head and lets go of Alex's hand so he can wrap his free arm around his shoulder. "It's nothing, really. I was just getting a bit sentimental. About how nice this is, you know? Taking David for a walk, meeting up for lunch with friends, and doing whatever we want, just because we can. It's a nice change."

Alex's arm snakes around Henry's waist and squeezes. "You deserve it."

Henry smiles. "I know. It's just sometimes a little hard to wrap my head around. But I do know."

He looks to Alex and meets his gaze. Alex's brown eyes are all soft again, and filled with pride.

"Freedom looks good on you, baby."

The raw, honest emotion in his voice gets Henry a little emotional too, so instead of replying, he leans down and presses a soft kiss to Alex's lips. And Alex is right – there is something to be said about having the liberty to kiss his own boyfriend on a sunny day in a public park, just because he wants to. Especially when said boyfriend runs one hand through his hair and uses the other one to pull him closer, and they can let their kiss become slightly more involved than Henry initially intended.

It's only when David pulls at his leash and barks that Henry pulls away to see what's going on, half alarmed that it might be something bad.

It is, actually, quite the opposite. A few steps down the path, David is approaching a puppy that looks heartwarmingly like David when Henry first met him. David barks once more, twice, then starts playing with the puppy as though they have been friends forever.

From the opposite end of the pathway, a young woman comes running, looking alarmed and slightly panicky. When she spots the puppy playing with David, she slows down.

"Sorry," she says towards Alex and Henry as she approaches, panting and face bright red. "I'm still trying to get him to get used to staying by my side, but it's a bit of a struggle."

"It's fine," Henry replies. "David here doesn't mind meeting new dogs."

"I'm glad," the girl says. She's now caught up to them and stands next to them, watching the two dogs play. "You named him David? That's adorable."

"After Bowie," Alex chimes in. "My boyfriend here is a huge fan."

The girl laughs. "That's adorable. Mine's called Abby. Not after anyone. I wish I had a story as fun as yours, though," she says. "He's a beagle too, isn't he?"

Henry nods. "He is. I got him a few years ago when I was…not having the best of times. But he's been my best mate ever since."

His heart sinks a bit at the reminder of why and when he got David. As though he'd sensed it, Alex's hand sneaks into his, squeezing lightly. Henry squeezes back and clears his throat.

"How long have you had yours?" he asks.

The girl laughs. "Oh, just a few weeks actually. I just moved to the city and didn't know anyone, and I was feeling a bit down and all, so I went to the shelter one day and there she was. And what can I say, that little rascal has been with me ever since. She's a piece of work sometimes, but she's a sweetheart. And she keeps me company through everything."

Henry hums and nods. "They are great company, aren't they?"

His gaze wanders over to David, who is still busy playing with his new friend. His tail is wagging, his little ears are flopping around and he's barking and yapping as if he's having the time of his life. Just like every time he's having a good time – whether it's out at the dog park, meeting new dogs on a walk, or just hanging out with Henry and being there for him whenever he needs him.

Henry's thoughts travel back to a moment from years ago in a park far, far way. A cold winter morning, fog hanging in the air, pebbles crunching under his shoes – so different from the current warm, airy summer day. A warm, familiar voice that he still misses, but whose memory doesn't hurt as much as it did years ago.

They make great friends. Especially when you're lonely.

Turns out his dad was right. David is, without a doubt, just about the greatest friend Henry has ever had. From an outsider's perspective, he may be just a dog – but Henry knows that it's to a considerable part thanks to his (most of the time) unwavering support that he was able to turn into the person he is today: an Oxford grad, a Star Wars Nerd, a part-time prince, a full-time Austen fan, a still relatively new New Yorker. A brother, a son, a boyfriend.

But certainly no longer lonely.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #firstprince fic #henry x alex #alex x henry #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #katwriting

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kuekyuuq · 3 years

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Gloria, Jet-lags and Imps [6x11]

Let’s jump right in:

Kinda love how Kara lamp-shaded addressed the fact she didn't tell the gang about her adventures in the PZ. She’s not wrong, tho.

...what do I want to say about Mxy using what's basically a well-known gay-anthem to tell his tale? I mean, it didn’t lead anywhere. The original song is about freeing oneself, liberation, stepping out of a (gone bad) relationship and moving on, stronger for it - empowerment. The only connection I could make, is that originally it was Nyxly’s aim to just do that (freeing herself and her kind from an oppressor), but in the way Mxy performed it, that part of the parallel was long over before he even reached the chorus. It’s also a popular Karaoke song, tho, so... he chose it because it’s catchy? I’ll try not to overthink it for now. At least, the Superfriend’s reactions were fun.

Nia exiting the elevator, "And what's this Old Stone?" I love it when ppl enter a room / situation and pick up on words that they couldn't have possibly heard. I think cinema sins ding such... Are we to assume, she dreamed Mxy's rendition of ‘I will survive’? Or is the elevator not sound-proof at all? (If it’s the latter, Nia later apparently telling Brainy “in private” between scenes / during the elevator ride about her Nyxly adventures, was a silly thing to do.)

So, "Jared" created the ring Old Stone to rule them all, it got shattered into the Paragons totems? Nyxly needs the totems and to get them she needs a crystal which also belonged to "Jared" - who happens to be Mxy's ancestor, which is why she needs Mxy / his blood, too.

I have one important and incredibly relevant question here, tho...

With the introduced imps and their names... Why’s dude named Jared of all things?!

Really, did I mishear that? If so, I’ll leave it as is and never edit, bc that would be hilarious in its own right 😋

...

Not sure what to make about Supergirl paraphrasing a Dirty Dancing quote. "Nobody puts Mxy into a power crystal on my watch." ...is he Baby now? (Seriously, though: Which of the writers thought that was a fitting quote to use in that particular context?)

...now, is the exposition section of the episode over yet?

Sensitive Brainy sensed something was up with Nia. He can relate... Nia doubting Kara would understand, too, is ridiculous. But I get it... insecurities and all. But, I mean, just 5 minutes later Kara announces she wants to save Nyxly despite her wrongdoings. And yet Nia still remains convinced, Kara wouldn’t forgive her own personal mini-me... After having witnessed Kara forgiving Lena for a whole season of the writers being stupid messing up to the nth degree. But I digress, Lena’s Lena.

...how old is Nia meant to be again? Just asking out of completely unrelated curiosity.

F*ck. They really went with NewFoundland...

Imma assume it was an executive choice after realizing they couldn’t find enough actors and actresses with a convincing Irish accent... maybe. Again, no offense to Newfoundland! Just... we got the insinuations of Ireland, not Newfoundland... And truthfully, when I think of magic, Ireland is an easy association. Whereas I only due to this whole debacle learned Newfoundland has Irish ancestry. So, okay, the show forced me to learn something new... I give ‘em that.

An easy journey, she said.

Lena's been off-screen for two whole episodes, Kara announcing at the beginning of ‘Dreamweaver’ [6x09] Lena being “back east” (at least insinuating Lena’s left the west-coast already), which span over at least one full day (feat. a scene at night), and ‘I still rise’ [6x10] at least another a whole day (the whole Nia’s mom back for a day deal). And, now, after at least 48 hours she barely just arrived.

Lemme check how long a regular plane would need to fly from California to NFL......... ... .. .. So... approx. 10 hours with at least one layover.

Yeah, using a private jet made it easier, but apparently also much, much slower...

Or, Lena randomly went some other places / did some sight-seeing in NFL before she decided to finally visit her mother’s hometown... [Either that or the timelines don’t match up and Lena’s scenes are flashbacks of sorts.]

Optimistic and relaxed Lena is a sight to behold. I rewound 3 times, just to enjoy it for as long as possible. We all knew it was going to be short-lived...

Let’s check off a few more items...

OMG, Kara hiding behind Alex at the mere sight of the PZ-projector broke my heart! 😢

"Elisabeth Walsh" is the new 'the one you shall not name'. ...poor Lena. 😭

Oh, so Mxy wants to be Patrick Swayze instead of Baby... gotcha.

...is this going anywhere?

KITTY!!! Okay, this must be the best opponent in the history of CWSG.

Despite the horrible CGI, SG using her heat-vision to project a laser-beam to distract the cat had me in (happy-) tears! 🤣

Gotta love the civilians of National City quickly returning to business as usual once the giant cat is gone. Even the police officers looked rather chill...

Nyxly did look fabulous this episode ^^

Andrea being Lena's rock is both great and annoying. I can't fault Andrea. It's just, that we still have to see an on-screen interaction between Lena and Kara and that bugs the heck out of me. I can’t help it. I’m sorry, Andrea.

Nia: "...is my fault." Kara: "Nu, is MY fault!" J'onn: "Stop fighting, kids!" Space-dad has spoken.

Mxy used an LuthorCorp copy machine... and of cos it's faulty. It's not an L-Corp product.

Kara forgiving Nia came as a surprise to her... Oooookay. I mean, the show has been writing Kara a bit inconsistently the past two seasons... so, yeah, maybe being unsure which of her traits apply this week was not such a far stretch...

Maybe it's the hair, but I wished, Florence was played by Alex Kingston.

So, not-Alex-Kingston shows Lena herself with a funny wig and tells her how her mother was still watching her...

If it wasn't for Katie's acting skills (I love her.) I would have already hit my head against the wall repeatedly. Something about these scenes had me constantly cringe and I made it through 5.5 seasons of this show already... Can’t quite put my finger on it, but it was highly distracting from the story that explained Lena’s mom was special even to another witch, where there was domestic abuse, and an accidental murder. Y’know, important stuff, deep-cutting stuff!

At least, poor widddle Lena got some closure there. Elisabeth was a good cookie. And filled with magic. And Lena’s gotta have that ‘spark’, too...

....so... Lena’s gonna stay in NFL for how much longer, to train becoming a witch? Please, just hand her a how-to manual and send her back home, to figure it out on her own, please... (Yes, that would be horrible decision-making, but I need her back with the team!)

On to the finish line:

So... Mxy IS Nyxly's brother? Wait, that doesn’t sound right... then Nyxly would have the same blood... Did I miss something? Can someone explain, please? Or is he her ex, and that’s where his rendition of “I will survive” makes sense?

Hnn... I can't help, but think Kara's speech for Nyxly was 85% based on her experiences with Lena in s05.

Awww... he said "stronger together"... Mxy... I hope, you'll be okay!

Lena believes in magic now. And I absolutely love how Lena wants to science magic XD

...but apparently magic isn’t science that hasn’t been explained yet, but parallel... powers? concepts? ether strings?

Nyxly has a loyal henchman now. Which was a bit heavy-handed. Took way too much of screen-time, so it better leads to something interesting.

And Kara is on a warpath now. Wooooot! Girl’s got enough.

...what else?

Did I miss a third Patrick Swayze hint / quote / mention? I learned, these things come in threes... Y’know, basic writing rules...

I guess, for once the episode title was meant to be taken literally, Mxy popping up between characters, to try and help. (I need in-show footage, of Mxy sneaking up on ppl, without his powers, on all fours / crouched, just to get the desired effect.) I mean, I’ve never really watched Malcom, but wasn’t he like what Mxy usually is? A bit of a trouble-maker, prankster, chaos-ensuing wherever he goes? ...well, in that case, the episode title didn’t hold up, as Mxy’s scenes were not fun or really goofy. Yes, there was some superficial humor, but just to serve Mxy dealing with not being able to use his powers, which in turn was only barely scratched at (although it turned out to be his final character development crisis, appreciating not having powers and - in turn - facing consequences for once). Again, a whole lot going on in the episode, so a lot of that may have ended up on the cutting-room floor.

...where’s Kelly? Secretly adopting a kid, maybe?

...Kara’s still a reporter, right? I mean, whenever it serves the immediate plot, yes? ...Not even a throw-away line, that she has to pop up at CatCo for appearances sake? Since Andrea is already upset with her AND looking into her friends’ identities? At least, Kara should take a peek to make sure Andrea hasn’t uncovered anything yet... No?

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. Kue out.

#Supergirl #supercorp #Mxy in the middle #6x11 #mxy #nyxly #lena luthor #magic #lena's mom #fiction dissected #fandom #episode #Nia nal #dreamer #brainy #brainia

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ambssssssssss · 3 years

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ao3 link

Kara soared high above the city she had called home for the last several years, just as she had done every morning since she first arrived in National City. Her first flights around the city had been thrilling, the adrenaline of using the abilities she had denied to herself for so long filling her being with the same sunlight that powered those special abilities. She had used the flights for an escape while she’d been in college, a way to remove herself from the pressure or fitting in and taking tests and trying to act human. It was all too much sometimes. Kara needed a moment to herself to just breathe in, to close her eyes and listen to the sound of the city she loved and pretend that she didn’t feel like there was something missing.

As Kara got older, and her presence in National City was noticed more, the nature of her flights changed. No longer was flying over the city too high up for anyone to see an escape but rather a commitment. She couldn’t slip into dark jeans and a black hoodie to disappear against the night sky anymore, especially not after she saved that plane. Now she dons a blue suit and red cape and flies just high enough that the people below can see her and take comfort in the symbol she wore on her chest. Kara took these flights so that the city could be safe, could feel safe.

It was a habit more than anything else to patrol the city now. When Supergirl had first arrived on the scene, it seemed like there was a new villain in the city every week and all of them had some kind of vendetta against Supergirl, or against her mother or father. Kara fought against them all, absorbed the words of hate that they spewed on her family name and tucked the anger and pain away until she was sure that no one could tell how much of those emotions she carried around with her. Then she stepped out of her Supergirl persona, slipped on a carefully constructed silver ring with a band of red on the inside, and went about her day as Kara Danvers, the longest-running assistant to Cat Grant ever and current reporter attempting to make her way in the world.

Kara’s days were planned out almost to the minute. She woke up with the sun, basked in the glow of the golden lights for a moment to let her body absorb the strength of its rays, and then slipped her special ring on to go about her day. She arrived at CatCo just early enough to make people think she had to rush to get there on time, made her way into the daily content meetings with acting CEO of CatCo, and Kara’s ex, James and the various heads of departments. Around mid-morning, Kara would duck out of CatCo in the name of a coffee run or chasing down a lead to complete her daily morning patrol, and then she would go back to work and try to act like she didn’t miss the power she felt when she wasn’t wearing her ring.

Kara’s ring was the first and only time she had applied her vast scientific knowledge to a project on earth. She had made it in the name of fitting in as a normal teenage girl, not an alien from a dead planet who was stronger than almost any other person on earth. The list of people who were stronger than Kara shrank just a little bit each time she was able to use her powers without restraint. The ring was made out of an aluminum alloy mixed with a very small amount of lead that was intended to keep Kal from looking too closely and seeing what the ring housed.

The inside of the band was hollow to allow for an amount of material very carefully constructed to keep Kara appearing as a normal human without causing her any pain. To get the material, Kara had very carefully extracted the radiation from a sliver of kryptonite Jeremiah had stolen for her, and then separated the radiation generated from the piece of Krypton reacting to earth’s yellow sun from the residual solar energy of Rao that was left in the ore. Kara then tested the amount of red solar radiation she could withstand before she was left completely powerless. Inside the ring she had enough of this modified kryptonite to render her mostly human, unable to fly or use her freeze breath or heat vision, and leaving her as strong as the average gym goer. Most importantly, the modified kryptonite didn’t affect her senses so that Kara could still see, hear, or smell danger coming from far enough away that she could take her ring off in time to be prepared for whatever was coming. The substance only worked if it was pressed directly against her skin, which was why the underside of the ring was covered in it. After being on Earth for so long, as long as she spent a good amount of time each day without the ring on, her powers would return almost instantly.

Kara’s life was...predictable. The most interesting thing she encountered most days, baring an alien induced apocalypse, was the increasingly awkward flirtatious encounters that Mike seemed to find her in. Mon-El, Mike now that he was mostly settled on Earth, had landed outside of National City in a Kryptonian pod three years ago. Kara had found his pod and taken him to the DEO, the secret government agency where Kara’s sister Alex and their friend J’onn worked. When Mon-El awoke a few days later, he was immediately enamored by Kara, but Kara never returned his feelings.

Mon-El wasn’t very accepting when Kara informed him that her efforts to help him settle on Earth, getting him a job, teaching him to control his powers, and helping him find an apartment, were simply examples of Kara being friendly and not Kara expressing any sort of attraction to Mon-El. Part of his confusion stemmed from the fact that he was the Prince of Daxam and as such had never been rejected before in his life. Kara told herself that the rest of his confusion came from a misunderstanding of human dating practices.

Kara might have been tempted to give him points for persistence if she believed that she was the only one Mon-El was pursuing, but Mike was well known as the office flirt. It wouldn’t have changed anything for Kara either way. Every encounter with Mike left Kara wishing that she had gotten him a job literally anywhere else in the city, maybe even in a different city all together. Their encounters were stifled and always lasted too long in Kara’s opinion.

In everything that she did, Kara felt like she was simply drifting through her life. She wasn’t flying anymore, no direction to go in and no light in the distance for her to set her sights on. She simply hovered and let the motions of her life flow through her.

The longer this went on, the harder it was for Kara to ignore that feeling that there was something missing.

“Supergirl, we need you at the DEO.” J'onn voice sounded in the comms device Kara had in her ear. Kara pressed her finger to the device and replied in an affirmative before changing her course to take her to the DEO city base.

“What’s going on?” Kara asked as she approached where J’onn and Kara’s best friend Winn were standing around the wide table in the center of what Kara had always thought of as the command center. She looked for the third member of the team who usually awaited Kara’s arrival there as well, but there was no sign of her sister. “Where’s Alex?”

A look passed between J’onn and Winn that immediately had Kara’s nerves standing on edge.

“What happened?” Her voice was as strong as the steel that she was often credited as being made of.

“Alex went on a reconnaissance mission late last night.” J’onn crossed his arms over his chest as he made eye contact with Kara. “She missed her 3 o’clock check in, and every check in since.”

“Where is she?”

“We last tracked her signal approaching a half mile away from the target of her mission,” Winn directed Kara’s attention to the map that was up on the monitors before them. Two markers were shining on the screen, one red and one green. Kara’s eyes narrowed as she looked at the map.

“Kryptonite?” she asked. The green marker was rarely used to indicate anything else as most enemies were marked in black. “She was tracking a kryptonite signature.”

“She was, which was why we didn’t call you before now,” J’onn supplied. “But I’m afraid there’s more.”

“The signature came from the old Luthor Mansion 15 miles outside of the city.” Winn said regretfully. Kara felt her spine stiffen.

“There aren’t any Luthors anymore.”

Her voice was cold with regret and guilt and blame, both for herself and for Mon-El, at the reminder of the greatest loss Kara had suffered since coming to Earth.

Three years ago, Lena Luthor had come to National City with the ambitious dream of turning her family name and company into a force for good. She felt like she had to make up for all the damage that her brother had caused in his one-man war against Superman. Kara had been drawn to her from the moment they met. Professional interviews had turned to casual cups of coffee, and then brunches, and then lunches that lasted so long they ended up having dinner as well. Then it was Lena on her couch at game nights and Lena in her kitchen in the mornings and Kara falling hard and fast for the woman that every thought was a monster simply because of her last name.

Then it was the Daxamite invasion and Lena was the only reason that Mon-El survived the atmosphere irradiated with lead. Lena was the only reason that the city had survived that attack and she was the only person that Kara couldn’t save.

In the chaos of the invasion and Kara’s fight against Superman and then Queen Rhea, Lillian Luthor had kidnapped Lena, again. Kara had searched high and low, checking every known Luthor property and even a few that she only knew about because she was Lena’s best friend. Kara searched for two years without finding even a hint of the Luthors until Lex showed up in National City.

Kara had fought him off, driven by a desperate need to find Lena and save her because it had been two years but Kara’s hadn’t diminished in the slightest. Lex had mocked her, picked at her failure to save Lena before it was too late. Kara’s blood boiled at the realization that Lena was well and truly gone, somewhere that Kara couldn’t hope to bring her back from. The dead could only be mourned, not rescued.

Kara had taken her anger out on Lex, his experimental powers no match for the force of Kara’s rage and regret. He didn’t stand a chance against her. Kara didn’t regret anything about that encounter, but she wished that it could have done something to bring Lena back to her. Six months ago, Kara had finally accepted the truth and stopped looking.

“Alex, she wanted to clear it before she brought you in on this,” J’onn explained. “She wanted to have an answer for what was happening before she brought up the Luthors. With Lillian in jail, Lex gone, and Lena…” He trailed off as Kara looked away. “Her signal went out exactly half a mile from the Mansion and the kryptonite signature is gone.”

“So, you think she found it but, what? Set off a boobytrap and got stuck?” Kara knew her tone wasn’t one that she should take with her boss but she didn’t really care at that moment. She’d apologize later.

“We don’t know.” J’onn looked at the map again. “But we do know that you are the only one who ever had any real success against the Luthors. If something is going on there, you’re the only one who can stop it.”

“I need to set up a cover with James,” Kara said, turning and striding towards the window to take off towards CatCo. “I’ll be back in half an hour, ready to go.”

After establishing an alibi with James, narrowly avoiding another flirting attempt by Mike, Kara returned to the DEO. She double checked the coordinates for the Mansion and set off in the direction, intent on getting her sister back safe and sound. She’d already lost too much to the Luthors, she wouldn’t lose the other person who mattered most to her.

Kara flew to the point where Alex’s signal had gone out and found only the empty driveway that led to the doors of the Mansion. She landed and pulled her day clothes on as she approached the house proper. Alex’s motorcycle was parked outside the front door, the black helmet hanging off the handle bars. Kara frowned at the sight. Alex clearly wasn’t expecting to find anything worthy of taking back to the DEO, otherwise she would have brought a car, but she had found something. There wasn’t any evidence of a fight where Alex’s signal dropped off the map and it looked like Alex had been able to walk into the Mansion perfectly unharmed.

Curious, Kara pressed her finger to the comms device in her ear. She heard only static.

Keeping her modified ring in her pocket so that she would go into the Mansion fully powered, Kara moved past her sister’s bike and stepped through the door.

The inside of the Mansion was...cleaner than Kara was expecting it to be. This had been one of the first places Kara had checked in her search for Lena years ago and she clearly remembered that the Mansion had been covered in layer upon layer of dust and crime. The furniture had been covered in dirty white sheets and Kara’s feet had left a path through the grime on the floor. Now, the floor was so clean that Kara could see her reflection on the polished marble and the sheets draped over the furniture were a pristine, sharp white.

Kara concentrated her hearing but she couldn’t hear anything around the Mansion at all. A quick scan with her x-ray vision showed that the walls were lined with lead. That was different than the last time Kara had been there. How had she been unaware of such a major renovation of a Luthor property this close to her home city? Shaking off the unnerving feeling that she was being watched, Kara continued further into the house.

She checked all the rooms on the first floor and found no evidence of life in all but the kitchen. The kitchen was fully stocked and furnished with gleaming state of the art fixtures. Kara’s anxiety about this situation increased even more as she reached the top of the grand staircase and her ears picked up on a faint buzzing noise coming from down the hall. It was the soft hum of electricity overlapping with the louder hum of some kind of machinery. Kara followed the sound down the hall until she found a partially open doorway.

After checking to see if she could see through the door - she couldn’t - Kara gently pushed the door just a little bit until it opened enough that she could see inside.

“Alex!” Kara called out as she saw her sister laying on a cot just inside the room. She looked unharmed, a quick scan over her revealing no cuts of broken bones. Her heart rate was normal, not shallow or elevated and she stirred as Kara called her name.

“Kara?” Alex blinked sleepily and then sat up right, suddenly wide awake. “Kara, you can’t be here.”

“Alex, c’mon, of course I was going to come for you,” Kara attempted to move closer to her sister and was barred from getting too close by a shimmering blue forcefield that Kara collided with. “What the hell?”

“Kara, it’s-it’s too much to explain but I need you to trust me and go.” Alex stood up and placed her hand on the forcefield that separated them. “Please, Kara. Go.”

“I’m not leaving you here, Alex. You’re a prisoner!” Kara attempted to push the forcefield but was forced back with surprisingly gentle pressure.

“I’m not, really. She wouldn’t hurt me, Kara. And I know she doesn’t want to hurt you and that’s why you have to go.”

“No, I’m not going anywhere without you!”

“Kara-” Alex cut herself off and turned away like she was bracing herself for something awful a second before Kara felt the power of true kryptonite wash through her being, stronger than she had ever felt it before.

The force of the radiation on her skin brought Kara to her knees and then further to the ground as she released a series of high pitched grunts and groans. She was dimly aware of Alex calling her name, apologizing for something, before her mind registered another sound. A voice that she hadn’t heard in almost three years but one that sent Kara’s heart racing in a way that had nothing to do with the pain wracking her body.

“Hope, activate the cleansing protocol.”

“Yes Miss Luthor.”

There was a shimmer of blue tinted light around Kara and then she felt the warmth of artificial sun rays casted over her body but she ignored both in favor of lifting her head to find the source of that voice. When her eyes finally found their target, Kara was helpless against the tears that welled.

“Lena…” Her name escaped Kara as barely more than an astonished whisper. Lena was standing on the other side of Kara, barely in the room past the doorway and yet Kara felt as if Lena was the only one in the room. “It’s really you?”

“Hello, Kara,” Lena said and it was her voice, yes, but it was empty. There was no warmth in Lena’s eyes, no fondness in the way her lips formed Kara’s name. Lena’s face was carefully blank as she gazed at Kara, eyes roaming like she was trying to take in every inch of Kara at once.

“Lena,” Kara repeated her name. There were so many things that she wanted to say, secrets that she had wanted to tell Lena three years ago but thought she would never get the chance to say, but still Kara hesitated. This was Lena, casual Lena that Kara only got to see once Lena had deemed her trustworthy enough. Lena with her hair down in its natural waves and wearing a cardigan and sweats rather than her work attire. Lena in socks instead of heals and with her natural pink lips on display. This was Kara’s favorite Lena.

But this was also Lena with green veins running along her skin and glowing eyes that were so close and yet so far away from her natural color.

This Lena was Kara’s kryptonite in every sense of the word.

“Kara,” Alex called out, making Kara suddenly remember that it wasn’t just her and Lena in the room staring at one another in silence. Kara turned to her sister. She didn’t know what expression was on her face but it was one that seemed to cause Alex’s concern to rise. “Kara, I’m going to help her.”

“Alex, she’s…” Kara couldn’t even begin to describe what she thought was happening with Lena.

“I know, Kara, I know.” Alex looked at her sister with the same gentle understanding that she had two years ago, when Kara finally broke down and admitted that she had been in love with Lena and never told her. “But she’s going to be okay. We found her in time.”

Kara didn’t like the implications of Alex’s statement and turned back to where Lena was still lingering in the doorway.

“The kryptonite signature that the DEO picked up,” Kara said in a shaking voice. “That was you?”

Lena nodded once, short and sharp like the movement hurt. “I’ve been trying to break through the dome Lex placed over me for months. I could only hold the breach for thirty seconds before it closed again.”

“Lex, he used really advanced alien technology here.” Alex chimed in with a wide gesture at the dome that covered her and the one that covered Kara.

“He didn’t want anyone finding me and he knew I wouldn’t leave like this,” Lena took a step back so she was standing in the doorway. Kara took an instinctive step forward like she was going to keep Lena from leaving. “Not when I would be hurting you just by being in the same room as you.”

“You could never hurt me, Lena.” Kara said certainly. Lena scoffed softly.

“I think the kryptonite poisoning you just endured proves that I can,” Lena smiled sadly. “Even when I don’t want to.”

“That isn’t your fault, Lena.” Kara tried to take another step forward but was thwarted by the dome around her. She put her hands against the surface and clenched her fists in frustration. “Please, Lena, take this down.”

“I can’t, Kara,” Lena shook her head and took an involuntary step forward. Kara could see the same desire that she had, to take Lena in her arms and never let her go, reflected in Lena’s eyes. “I won’t hurt you like that. Lex has already killed me, I won’t let him do the same to you.”

“You aren’t going to die from this.” Alex said fiercely. “We can figure out what Lex did to you.”

“We don’t have enough time Alex,” Lena spoke sharply and then nearly doubled over as an intense coughing fit ripped through her lungs. “I called you here to say goodbye, not to save me.”

“You should have known that I wouldn’t accept that,” Alex replied and then looked pointedly at Kara. “And neither would she.”

“You are not going to die, Lena. I won’t let you.”

“Kara, it’s only a matter of ti-”

“No! No, I’m not losing you again, Lena.” The tears that had been building in Kara’s eyes since she set her sights on Lena again began to fall. Kara didn’t bother trying to wipe them away. “I’ve already lost you twice. When your mother took you and then again when Lex attacked National City and said that you were…” Kara swallowed harshly, unable to say the word. “I’m not doing that again. I won’t fail you again.”

Silence reigned for a long moment after Kara’s proclamation. Tears still fell from Kara’s eyes but she refused to tear her gaze away from Lena. She was certain that for the first time in her life, Kara’s expression matched the brokenness she felt inside. She was sure that Alex was wearing that concerned older sister expression that she always wore when Kara revealed even a hint of the pain she carried, but Kara only cared for Lena’s expression. Lena who looked just as broken as Kara felt.

“Kara, no, none of this is your fault.” Kara almost smiled at seeing that the first thing Lena chose to address was Kara’s very last statement. “There was no way you could have found me, Lex made sure of that. He was even crazier than he was before.”

“I should have looked harder, searched more. I should have found you.”

“You did find me,” Lena’s smile was watery. “I don’t have much time left, I know that, but I’m glad I got to spend some of it with you, even like this.”

“I can help you, Lena,” Kara reached into her pocket and pulled out her power dampening ring. “I’ve removed the radiation from kryptonite before. I can do it again.”

“What is that?” Lena asked, taking a hesitant step forward. Kara offered a reassuring smile.

“Let me send it through the barrier and you can see for yourself.” Kara waited until Lena had nodded, moved a few paces back so she wasn’t entirely in the room, and then ordered Hope to drop the barrier for less than a second. The barrier was back up a moment later and Lena came into the room again to pick up the ring that Kara had slid in her direction.

As she walked, Kara studied Lena’s movement. Every motion was followed by a concealed grimace. It was clear that every second Lena was upright was another second that she was in pain. Kara felt the anger and guilt swell within her to previously unreached levels. Anger at Lex for doing this to his sister and anger at herself for letting it happen, guilt that she hadn’t found Lena sooner.

“Is this kryptonite?” Lena asked after a few moments of examining the ring.

“It used to be,” Kara answered. “I needed something to help dampen my powers so I could blend in better.” That was another web to untangle, the fact that Lex had probably told Lena her secret, but they could deal with that after all this was over. “Jeremiah got some kryptonite for me to work with and I removed the radiation, leaving the ore raw. I used simulated red sunlight to replicate the power of Rao and played around with solar energy and radiation until I found a level that would dampen my powers but not remove them.”

“I knew you were brilliant, Kara, but that is…” Lena trailed off. Despite the tenseness of the situation, Kara felt herself blush at the praise. “Amazing.”

“I can remove the radiation from the kryptonite that’s in your veins,” Kara said confidently, forcing her voice not to shake. “From there, you should be able to flush the residue out with a blood transfusion.”

“I’m afraid it won’t be that simple,” Lena said, fingering the ring in her hand like it was a precious item. “Lex didn’t just inject me with kryptonite, Kara. He injected something into my bone marrow. I don’t have kryptonite in my blood, my blood is kryptonite.”

“Well, fuck.” Kara surprised everyone in the room, including herself, with the expletive. “Sorry, I just-”

“No, fuck about sums it up,” Lena joked softly.

“I can still help you,” Kara said after a moment. Lena offered her a smile that was almost as warm as the ones she used to send Kara’s direction on a daily basis. Kara ached at the thought.

“It’s nice to see that your optimism hasn’t faded.” Kara had half a mind to tell Lena that it was stubbornness that was fueling her, not optimism. “But I’m not sure what you could do. I’ve done every test I can think of, and there’s been a lot of them, but nothing has worked. I’ve tried to neutralize the kryptonite with red sunlight, but that didn’t affect anything. I tried to flush it out with yellow sun light, and again nothing. I’ve taken every sample, and run every test, but nothing has worked.”

“And you don’t metabolize things like Kryptonians, and even though kryptonite isn’t inherently deadly to humans, it is still radiation.” Alex picked up, obviously having heard Lena’s explanation before. “Too much of anything can hurt a human.”

“This kryptonite blood that I’m producing, it’s flawed somehow. Lex’s formula didn’t rewrite all of the blood cells correctly. My working hypothesis is that the kryptonite he put in my bone marrow is basically acting like a fast growing cancer. I don’t have enough normal blood cells to fight it off.”

“And the longer you’re exposed, the worse it gets.”

“How long have you been like this?” Kara asked, halfway afraid of the answer.

“A year.” Lena answered. Kara looked away from her, unable to stand the guilt that washed over her. That’s what Lex had meant, six months ago during their battle. When he said that Kara had been too late, he hadn’t meant that Lena was dead but that she was dying and there was nothing Kara could do to save her. “I don’t think I’ve got more than a month left.”

“There has to be something we can do,” Alex was pacing furiously across her dome. For a moment, Kara wondered why Alex was in a protective dome as well but then she realized that Lena wouldn’t be willing to expose her kryptonite laced self to anyone who might come into contact with Kara. She had already said that that was the reason that she hadn’t attempted to leave the mansion.

“There’s nothing. I can’t flush it out of my system with a little sunlight, Alex.” Lena’s tone was biting but her shoulders dropped immediately and Alex accepted her silent apology with a barely there nod.

Lena was right. Her body was producing the kryptonite, not just fighting it off. They couldn’t target the symptoms to get rid of it like an infection. Lena described it as a cancer and cancers had to be attacked at the source. But wouldn’t a Kryptonian cancer require a Kryptonian cure?

A sudden thought struck Kara. A very, very risky idea came to mind, one that Kara wasn’t sure would work but if it did...it had to be worth a try, at least.

“If the problem is in your bone marrow,” Kara said, breaking up the argument that Alex and Lena had gotten into. Both women turned to look at her. “Then maybe my bone marrow is the solution.”

“Kara, what are you talking about?” Alex asked. Kara stared at Lena and could almost see the moment that Kara’s idea struck Lena’s brain.

“A bone marrow transplant.” Lena said. “My human blood, if there’s any of it left, can’t fight off the kryptonite because I can’t process the solar energy to expel it from my body. But if I had Kryptonian blood…”

“Would that work?” Kara directed the question to Alex, as the only medical doctor in the room.

“I don’t know,” Alex answered. “We’d need to test it before we did any kind of transplant, pull samples from you both and see how they interact and even if it does work, it’ll be painful.” Alex knew that Lena already understood how painful kryptonite poisoning was to Kara, so she didn’t bother to elaborate on that.

“I’m already in pain,” Lena said, resigned. “I can handle it.”

“But there could be side effects to a transplant like this,” Alex said warningly. “Human and alien blood generally don’t mix well, not to mention trying to type match the two of you.” Alex bit her lip.

“I can have Hope run a simulation on possible side effects after we have samples,” Lena said. Her gaze was focused on Kara, her eyes filled with so much longing that it took everything in Kara to keep her from fighting her way out of her little bubble. “It’s worth looking into, at least.”

“If we go to the Red Lab, I should be able to get the samples from both of you without putting myself or Kara at risk.” Alex said to Lena, waiting until she nodded.

“Hope, activate mobile protection.”

“Yes Miss Luthor.” The same robotic voice that Kara had heard earlier but not really paid attention too spoke again. The bubble around Kara wavered for a moment and then repositioned around Kara so she was standing in the direct center of it.

“The dome will move with you now,” Lena said to the Danvers sisters. “Follow me.”

The Red Lab turned out to be a room with lighting fixtures that all simulated red sunlight. It didn’t seem to have much of an effect on Lena, but Kara was completely powerless for the first time in a long while. She had blown out her powers in an effort to vent her frustration right after Lena was taken but had been careful not to do so again since. A part of her would always be ready to fly to Lena’s aide, even when Kara didn’t think Lena would be calling for her.

Alex collected the bone marrow sample from Kara first before donning the protective suit that Lena insisted she wear to collect the sample from Lena. Lena had opted to take something that would knock her out for the collection process while Kara had simply switched to yellow sun lamps to recover after Alex had withdrawn the needle. Collecting the sample hurt like hell but Kara wasn’t willing to let Lena out of her sight for even a moment.

“She’s strong Kara,” Alex said as she began analyzing the samples she had taken from both women. “She’ll make it through this.”

“She’s been through so much, Alex. If I hadn’t left her alone that day, she would never have to go through this.”

“You don’t know that.” Alex turned from the samples to look at her sister, who was lying on a medical bed and staring across the space that separated her and Lena as if it were a great chasm that even Supergirl didn’t dare attempt to cross. “Lex would have found some other way to get to her. He is the one that did this to her, he deserves the blame.”

Kara didn’t respond. Alex knew that her sister didn’t believe her but she let the matter drop for now. They could all play the blame game when Lena wasn’t in danger of dying and Kara finally worked up the courage to tell her how she felt.

Alex had always known that there was something different about Kara’s friendship with Lena. Different in a good way, Alex knew that even before she fully trusted Lena. Lena had breathed a new life into Kara. Lena with Kara was warmth and light and such a strong sense of rightness that Alex wouldn’t have been able to disapprove even if she wanted to. She and Maggie had once made a bet that Kara and Lena would get together eventually. Before they lost Lena, Maggie had said that she would be surprised if Kara and Lena weren’t already together and were just keeping it a secret for the time being. Alex had laughed at the time but after Lena disappeared she had started to wonder about that.

She wondered what Maggie would say if she were there with them. Last Alex had heard, Maggie was working as a detective in Gotham, on the fast track for lieutenant. Alex was proud of her and it didn’t hurt to think about her so much anymore.

Alex had plenty of time to observe her sister over the last three years that Lena had been away. She saw that light in Kara growing dimmer each day as another search for Lena led to nothing but empty estates. She watched Kara become a shell of herself. Sister nights happened less frequently. Game nights were basically a thing of the past these days. Kara worked at CatCo but some of her drive was gone. She saved the day as Supergirl but the city had noticed that their shining beacon of hope had lost some of her rigor. It was easy to see the signs once Alex had started to look for them and so she was unsurprised when Kara broke down in her arms on the one year anniversary of Lena’s kidnapping.

Kara had such a capacity for love and she had met her equal in that endeavor in Lena. Alex would make sure that both of them got the chance to share their love with one another. Even if she had to resurrect Lex Luthor to do it, she would find a cure for Lena.

As Alex set about working on the solution and instructed Hope to begin running her simulation, Lena’s pain medication began to wear off and she opened her eyes to find Kara looking directly at her from across the room.

Truthfully, when Lena had managed to break through the protective dome Lex had created over her, she wasn’t expecting such a quick response. She wasn’t expecting any response really, the message that she had intended to send to the DEO remained unsent. The dome had closed before Lena could manage a direct pathway to the three people that she wanted to receive the message. She had no idea that the DEO had satellites that constantly scanned the globe for kryptonite until Alex showed up at the front door of the Mansion.

She should have known that it would only be a matter of time before Kara showed up as well. Where one Danvers sister went, the other inevitably followed.

Lena had been thinking about the day she would see Kara again for so long that it had seemed an impossibility. Lena rarely got what she wished for and she wanted to see Kara again more than anything. Kara had been a constant, grounding present in Lena’s life three years ago even with the secret of Kara’s alter-ego hanging between them. Whenever Lena needed an escape from the pressure of being Lena Luthor, CEO of L-Corp, the Good Luthor, the Bad Luthor, or any other moniker that people bestowed on her, she knew she could find a safe haven with Kara.

With Kara, Lena didn’t have to fit herself into any specific mold. There were no expectations with Kara. Lena could just be. Lena had realized how much she had come to rely on such a reprieve until it was ripped from her. This past year had been especially bad, knowing that she was only a half hour away from the person she wanted to see most but also knowing that she couldn’t go to Kara even if the protective dome wasn’t in place. She wouldn’t subject Kara to that kind of pain if she could avoid it and she hated that their first interaction in three years was marred with the pain of kryptonite poisoning inflicted on Kara by Lena’s mere presence in the room.

Lena met Kara’s eyes across the gap that separated them and if she wasn’t lying down, the force of Kara’s emotions would likely have brought Lena to her knees. Kara’s eyes had always been so expressive, the one thing that Kara couldn’t school into a certain look even when she approached Lena as Supergirl. Kara’s eyes gave her away every time which is why Lena hadn’t been surprised when Lex revealed Kara’s secret. She had known for a long time and was simply waiting for Kara to trust her enough to reveal it herself. Kara’s eyes had not lost their intensity in the past three years. If anything, all the emotions that Lena used to tell herself were just wishful thinking on her part where there in spades.

Before, Lena could only see the barest hints of the feelings she had for Kara being returned. Just a moment where it looked like Kara wanted to kiss Lena just as much as Lena wanted to kiss Kara. Then the moment would pass and Lena was positive that she had imagined that the moment was ever there in the first place. Now, Lena could see everything in Kara’s eyes.

The blue of Kara’s iris was clouded in pain and guilt, so much of it that Lena was certain that there would always be a part of Kara who would never forgive herself for not protecting Lena. Lena would have to work on that with her, she needed Kara to understand that Lena didn’t blame her in the slightest, nor does she hate Kara for not finding her before. She’ll tell Kara everything, will be relentless in her love until Kara accepts that she hasn’t lost Lena. Because behind the pain and guilt, Lena can see the longing that Kara holds within. There’s so much in Kara’s eyes but the most powerful of all is the love there and that’s the part that gives Lena the strength to make it through the next part of all of this. She needs to get better, she needs to be able to touch Kara again. She needs to show Kara how she feels. Words won’t be enough, but they’re all she has at the moment.

“Kara,” Lena says in a whisper. It’s almost too low, she thinks, for Kara to hear without her powers, but Kara seems to come alive at the sound of her name coming from Lena. “Kara…”

“I know,” Kara replies just as soft. Lena wonders what Kara can see in her own eyes. Lena knows that she’s not holding anything back, the effort of doing so would take too much out of her and she doesn’t want to sleep through this. Not if there’s a chance that this is the last time she’ll see Kara. “I know, Lena. Me too.”

It’s not enough to encompass the strength of Lena’s emotions, but she feels the relief wash over her anyhow. Kara knows, she sees in Lena all the things that Lena sees in Kara and if Lena doesn’t make it through her treatment, that would be enough to send her to the next life with a smile on her face.

“Tell me something,” Lena requests a moment later. She and Kara are still gazing at each other, both refusing to look away.

“What do you want to hear about?”

“Everything,” Lena says. “I’ve missed so much. I want to hear it all.”

Kara starts talking then, telling Lena all about what she had missed in the last three years. Kara’s stories are varied and not always connected to one another but Lena hangs on to every word. She smiles when Kara speaks with pride in her voice about the articles that she had written, about her continued fight for alien amnesty. She glares when Kara mentions Mon-El and then finds herself smiling at Kara’s obvious annoyance with the man and resolves that if she ever sees Mon-El again, she’ll let him know exactly where he can shove his unwanted affections. She laughs when Kara talks about some of the more ridiculous saves she had made as Supergirl and feels her heart clench painfully when Kara glosses over the encounters that were actually a threat to her life. Kara talks about songs that have come out and shows that she thinks Lena would like and every part of Lena aches to hold this amazing woman close to her and breath her in.

Alex and Hope are still running tests by the time Kara finishes her stories of the last three years, so Kara switches tracks to talking about all the things they could do in the next three years.

It seemed that Kara had accumulated quite the bucket list in the time that Lena had been gone. They were going to travel the world together, Kara decided, first this world and then they’d hop on over to Earth-1 and do it all over again. Kara would take a sabbatical from both CatCo and Supergirl so she could just be with Lena. Then after their travels, they’d come back to National City and Kara would pick back up as a reporter but maybe not for CatCo anymore. Maybe she’d want to branch out by then. It wouldn’t matter so much because she’d be well on her way to winning a Pulitzer so she could get a job anywhere. And Lena, she could go back to the labs again. L-Corp was barely a shadow of its former glory but Lena could restore it and make it even better than before. Then she’d win a Nobel Prize.

Then, once Kara and Lena’s careers were both where they wanted it to be, they’d get married and settle down in a house outside the city. One with huge windows and lots of space for family and friends to be there. It would have to be well protected because Kara didn’t think she could simply walk away from being Supergirl, but it would be theirs. Somewhere they could raise a family if they wanted too, or somewhere they could simply be together.

“I think we should at least go on a date before we start talking about marriage,” Lena said with a watery chuckle. Her body was exhausted, as it normally was after a year of having kryptonite for blood, but she forced herself to stay awake. “No need for such a rush.”

“We’ve wasted enough time already,” Kara disagreed but she was smiling warmly. Lena felt the ever present desire to reach for Kara tug painfully at her heart. “But you’re right. We could get married tomorrow or ten years from now. I’d be happy either way as long as I get to be with you.”

“Me too,” Lena felt her eyes begin to close and forced them back open.

“It’s okay, honey,” Kara told her and Lena practically melted at the pet name that rolled off Kara’s tongue. “Rest, we’ll talk more later.”

“Promise?” Lena didn’t need to open her eyes to know that Kara was wearing that soft smile that Lena had only ever seen directed at her.

“I promise.”

Eased by the knowledge that Kara was only a few feet away, Lena fell into her first easy sleep in three years.

Lena awoke sometime later when Hope’s electronic voice filled the Red Lab.

“Simulation successful. Ratio for Kryptonian to Human bone marrow donation found. Side effects: temporary Kryptonian blood cells will result in temporary Kryptonian abilities. Including sensitivity to kryptonite.”

“Will we be able to flush the kryptonite from Lena’s blood stream without harming her?” Alex asked the artificial intelligence as she looked at the simulation results that Hope had brought up on the monitor before her.

“Affirmative,” Hope answered. “Exposure to yellow solar radiation will extrapolate the kryptonite from Miss Luthor just as it would for any natural born Kryptonian. Warning: this process is likely to be extremely painful due to the amount of kryptonite currently within Miss Luthor’s bloodstream.”

“How long would it take?” Kara asked. Lena searched for Kara around the room and found that the other woman was standing close to her sister. They must have merged their bubbles together. The thought nearly made Lena giggle in her exhaustion.

“Full decontamination will take approximately 48 hours under a constant yellow sun.”

“We’ll be able to do that here?”

“Yes,” Lena spoke up, alerting both Davers sisters to her waking. They both turned to her, Kara taking an instinctive step forward until she remembered that she wouldn’t be able to reach Lena and she halted her motions. “The lights around the whole room can switch from red to yellow with a command.”

“Lena,” Kara said softly. Their eyes met and Lena was hit with the sudden realization that she was seeing all of Kara in that moment. Kara was wearing her day clothes but her hair was down and she didn’t have her glasses on. Even the silver ring that she always wore was gone. This wasn’t Kara Danvers or Supergirl but the woman who inhabited them both. Kara Zor-El.

“I’m okay,” Lena replied. “Better than okay, if this works.”

“It will,” Alex and Kara said at the same time, both of their voices ringing with confidence. Lena smiled at the unfailing faith of the Danvers and wondered what she did to deserve such heroes coming to her rescue. She wouldn’t dwell on it though, she would just be happy that they were here and that they had found a way to save her.

“Okay,” Lena smiled. “Then let’s do it.”

“Lena, are you sure?” Kara asked, her concern written plainly across the delicate features of her face. “This isn’t going to be an easy process. It’s going to hurt.”

“It’s worth it,” Lena said surely.

“It’s dangerous.”

“I’m already dying, darling,” Lena said. She almost wanted to take it back when she saw Kara flinch at the word but she pressed on. “If this is my only chance to get to...to live again, I’m going to take it.” Even if the kryptonite wasn’t slowly killing her, Lena wouldn’t have really been alive. Not without Kara, who made her feel like life was worth living, who made her feel like love was worth it. Without Kara, Lena was simply surviving.

“Okay,” Kara agreed after a moment of staring into Lena’s eyes. “Alex, what do you need to do this?”

“Another bone marrow sample from you Kara,” Alex said. “I have enough of Lena’s left to get the ratio right, but I’ll need more of yours. The ratio isn’t quite even but since Lena’s human, after the kryptonite is gone her blood should return to normal on it’s own.”

“Okay, let’s do it.” Kara moved back over to the bed that she had used before and removed her top before settling on her side again, facing Lena’s bed. Despite the skin on display, Kara’s modesty only protected by the bra covering her chest, Lena kept her gaze focused on Kara’s face as Alex extracted another sample of bone marrow from the base of her spine.

The extraction process took longer the second time around because Alex needed a larger sample than she had before, but Kara hardly flinched from the pain. It made Lena wonder just how Kara’s pain tolerance truly was. There was no denying that Kara was physically strong but Lena wasn’t sure how that translated to the pain she endured. She’d seen Supergirl stumble back from a blow before and grit her teeth as she called upon her strength, but she can’t remember ever seeing any outward evidence to suggest that Kara was in pain unless there was kryptonite involved.

“Okay,” Alex said minutes later, after Kara’s sample had been added to the bone marrow that would be injected back into Lena. Kara had pulled her top back on and was sitting up on her bed now with her gaze still fixed surely on Lena. “We’ll need to give you about an hour to generate enough Kryptonian blood cells to start the process and then we’ll switch the lights to yellow to start the decontamination.”

Lena nodded her understanding of the procedure and held still while Alex donned the protective suit and left her bubble of protection to approach Lena. The miracle cure administered, the only thing the three women could do was wait.

They didn’t speak during the first hour while they waited for Lena to be able to flush the poison from her system. Kara had many things that she wanted to say, but they were things meant for only Lena to hear. Apologies and declarations and promises that Kara would do anything in her power to keep. Alex simply kept quiet while she monitored Lena’s vitals while occasionally checking on her sister. Lena didn’t speak because everything she thought about saying sounded like a goodbye and she knew that Kara would refuse to listen to anything that resembled Lena giving up.

There was no sound in the room that wasn’t mechanical in nature until Lena let out a pained groan. It was just past the hour mark and the kryptonite in her system was finally reacting to the new blood cells she was generating. Her green veins were glowing stronger now and Lena curled in on herself.

“Hope, activate the yellow lights.” Kara’s order was followed in an instant and the room was bathed in yellow light. Lena continued to write in pain on her bed and Kara placed her hands on the dome that held her in place. “Hope, let me out.”

“Negative. Kryptonite levels around Miss Luthor -”

“I don’t care, let me out.” Kara repeated the order, pushing harder against the force field that kept her from getting to Lena.

“Kara-” the name escaped Lena in a sharp gasp of pain. “Kara it hurts.”

“I know, honey, I know,” Kara said soothingly. “I’m right here, Lena. You’ll be okay.”

Kara was on her feet then, standing with her hands pressed against the inner wall of the boundary that kept her from Lena. She clenched her fists and beat them against the unforgiving surface, helpless to the tears that fell from her eyes. She knew it would be agony for Lena to go through this process but she hadn’t accounted for the torture it would be to watch Lena suffer and be unable to comfort her. Kara beat against the wall again and then abruptly, the wall was gone.

Kara stumbled forward and caught herself on the edge of Lena’s bed. There was still ambient kryptonite around Lena, but it was nothing that Kara couldn’t withstand since the yellow sun lamps were on.

“I’m here, Lena. I’m right here,” Kara lifted Lena’s body from the bed and moved her over just enough that Kara could lay beside her. Her own pain from the kryptonite coursing through Lena’s body increased but Kara pushed it away and drew Lena close against her chest. “I’ve got you, honey.”

“Kara, you can’t be here,” Lena protested with a feeble attempt to pull away.

“Shush, I’m not going anywhere. Just let me hold you, Lena. Please.”

Lena wanted to protest but it felt so good to be in Kara’s arms again. Kara still smelled like sunshine and vanilla and Lena wanted to drown in her. Kara’s arms were firm around her and she spoke with her lips pressed against Lena’s forehead as she begged Lena to let her stay and Lena realized that Kara needed this just as much as Lena did. She wouldn’t let Lena suffer through this alone, not if there was something she could do to help her, even if it was just to hold Lena’s trembling body in her arms until the pain was gone.

Lena relented with a nod and settled into Kara’s embrace, hiding her face in the crook of Kara’s neck in an attempt to muffle her cries as her body finally began to fight back against the poison within her bones.

The next 48 hours were the longest of Kara’s life. Lena had succumbed to the pain in her body two hours after they switched to the yellow sun lamps and had been limp in Kara’s arms ever since. She would shift occasionally as the aches and pains in her body shifted, always pressing closer to Kara like she thought that if she could get close enough, all her pain would go away. Kara held Lena close through all of it, alternating between rubbing soothing circles on Lena’s back and carding her fingers through Lena’s hair. Sometimes when Lena shifted against, Kara would whisper soothing words into her hair or press kisses to her hairline until Lena settled again. Most of the time, Kara held Lena silence and prayed to Rao, begging him to end Lena’s pain as soon as possible.

She was dimly aware of Alex setting up some sort of alert system and then leaving the lab for several hours, but Kara was too focused on Lena to really care about anything else going on. The green was fading from Lena’s skin at an excruciatingly slow pace, but fading nonetheless. After six hours, the ambient kryptonite around Lena had decreased enough that Kara couldn’t feel it affecting her anymore, which she took as a good sign. Kara considered getting out of the bed at that point so that Lena could be better exposed to the yellow sun lamps, but whenever Kara tried to move out of their embrace Lena would stir and pull her closer. Kara stayed awake for the first 24 hours, not letting herself go to sleep until Alex was back in the lab so that she could be sure there was someone there, just in case.

“Winn and J’onn are working on bringing down the dome from the outside,” Alex said once she had returned from the lab. “I’ve got Hope helping them where she can but I think the dome was meant to keep the kryptonite from being discovered, not Lena. She should be able to walk out of here once all the kryptonite is gone.”

“Thanks, Alex,” Kara said to her sister.

“You love her,” Alex said in response, moving closer to the bed that currently held Kara and the still unconscious Lena. “I saw how much losing her the first time destroyed you. I wasn’t about to let that happen again.”

“I’m sorry I’ve kinda disappeared on you for the past few years,” Kara apologized. Sure, Kara had been around, but she and Alex were both aware that just because Kara was physically with her sister didn’t mean she was mentally there as well.

“You were grieving, I understood, and you were still there when I needed you,” Alex swallowed against the emotion in her throat. “She’s got a long way to go Kara, and she’s going to need you every step of the way.”

“I’ll be here, even when she tried to push me away.”

“But will you let her be there for you?”

“What?” Kara’s brow furrowed in the familiar crinkle. Alex rolled her eyes and nudged her sister’s shoulder gently, the one that Lena wasn’t using as a pillow.

“Don’t give me that, Kara. You’ve blamed yourself for her disappearance from the beginning and I know you’ve been thinking about all the pain she could have avoided if you’d just kept looking.” Kara looked away, unable to meet her sisters’ eyes. “But we both know that none of this is your fault. You won’t be able to help Lena until you accept that she doesn’t blame you.”

“How do you know she doesn’t?”

“We talked about it,” Alex shrugged. “I was here for like six hours before I even realized that I had missed a check in. Lena knew she was dying and all she wanted to do was make sure that you wouldn’t blame yourself for it. That woman would give you the moon if you asked for it.”

“I just want her,” Kara admitted softly. “I always have, but I was too scared to admit it before.”

“Given what the two of you were talking about earlier, I’m certain she wants you too,” Alex smirked as her sister blushed. “I was literally two feet away for that entire conversation, of course I heard.”

“You don’t, y’know, disapprove?” Kara asked nervously.

“Lena is so much more than her family name, I couldn’t see that in the beginning but I do now. And even if I did still have a problem, I’d get over it. You love her and I trust your judgement.”

“You’re the best sister ever,” Kara said seriously. Alex smiled and smoothed Kara’s hair with her hand.

“I know,” Kara chuckled. “Now get some sleep. It’s been three years since you got a decent night of sleep.”

Kara nodded and shifted slightly so she could tuck her nose against Lena’s hair, filling her senses with everything Lena before she let her eyes drift closed safe in the knowledge that Alex wouldn’t let anything happen to them.

When Kara awoke sometime later, it was to the sound of quiet chatter around her and the smell of pizza wafting through the lab.

“Hey, Kara,” Winn smiled at her from where he and Alex had been looking at something on the monitor when he noticed that she was awake. “We were able to bring down the dome from the outside. Lena left a backdoor that we could use when she first hacked it.”

“Good,” Kara smiled back and then turned her gaze to where Lena was still resting against her side. “How long was I asleep?”

“About 8 hours, Lena’s got another 16 to go before she’ll wake up, we think.” Alex gestured to the monitor that she and Winn were looking at. Kara squinted slightly to use her enhanced vision to read the monitor without getting out of the bed. She breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed that Lena’s vitals had improved greatly and the projected decontamination percentage was hovering around 60. “Most of the kryptonite has been replaced with regular Kryptonian blood which should hopefully repair any internal damage that she sustained over the past year.”

“How long will she have the Kryptonian blood in her system?”

“We estimate about three days past the decontamination is when her blood will start to go back to normal. Her body is only producing the Kryptonian blood cells because it’s being forced to thanks to an isotope that Lena invented while attempting to cure herself.”

“So, roughly five days and her body will be back to normal?” Kara looked back down at Lena, taking in the movement of her chest with every breath and listening to the way their hearts almost beat in tandem.

“I don’t think she should move before then, just in case, but yes.” Alex smiled as Winn moved over to grab a paper plate loaded with pizza and presented it to Kara like one might hand over an Olympic medal.

“Five days, and then I can take her home.” Kara spoke softly, mostly to herself and Lena alone. She ducked her head down low to press a kiss against Lena’s forehead. Lena shifted slightly at the contact, nuzzling closer to Kara.

Winn, recognizing that Kara wouldn’t be moving from the bed anytime soon, rolled a convenient tray nearby over to the bed and arranged it so that Kara would be able to eat her pizza without letting go of Lena.

“I can’t wait until she wakes up,” Winn said softly, excitement burning in his eyes. Kara had almost forgotten that Lena and Winn had been well on their way to being good friends without Kara in the middle when Lena had been taken. “I’ve missed her.”

“Me, too.” Kara offered her friend a warm smile as he squeezed her shoulder and then backed away.

Kara ate her pizza slowly and then returned to studying Lena in the quiet of the lab. Alex and Winn both retreated to nearby rooms to get some sleep, with instructions given to Hope to alert them if anything changed in the lab. Kara remained in the bed with Lena, softly stroking over her hair and back in random patterns until sleep eventually claimed her again as well.

When Kara next awoke, it was to the feeling of soft fingertips brushing across the features of her face. Kara’s eyes opened and she was met with what was possibly the most beautiful sight in any universe, Lena awake and sitting up enough to lean over Kara slightly, her eyes naturally bright and her lips pulled into a soft smile.

“Lena,” Kara said the name on an exhale, one hand finding Lena’s waist and the other reaching to cup her face. Lena’s smile brightened.

“Hello, darling,” Lena returned. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Kara felt the tears forming in her eyes and was once again helpless against them. She swore that she hadn’t cried this many times in the span of three days since she first arrived on Earth, but she just couldn’t help it. Lena was here, alive, in her arms and looking at Kara like she was the most precious object Lena had ever seen and Kara’s entire being sobbed with relief. “You’re really here?”

“I am,” Lena promised. “I’m so sorry I left you, Kara. I never wanted to.”

“It’s not your fault,” Kara said vehemently. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.” Lena frowned and brought their foreheads to rest together, stroking Kara’s cheek with her thumb and catching the stray tears that fell.

“If I don’t get to blame myself, neither do you,” Lena said with quiet determination. “I don’t blame you for any of this. It was my mother and Lex who did this to me, to us.”

“I promised that I would always protect you,” Kara said desperately.

“You did, you’re the reason they didn’t kill me outright. Lex knew how I felt about you and he was more than willing to use it against me.” Lena continued softly stroking Kara’s cheek as she lifted her head and kissed Kara’s forehead. “Don’t you dare think about pulling away from me now, Kara Zor-El.”

“I should have told you about that, too,” Kara admitted softly. “You deserved to hear it from me.”

“If it makes you feel better, Lex didn’t tell me that. I already knew.” Lena chuckled softly as Kara pulled away slightly and looked at Lena in surprise. “Darling, you told me that you flew to my office on a bus.”

“That...wasn’t my best moment.”

“No kidding,” Lena had the very strong urge to connect their lips but she stomped it down. There would be time for that later and she didn’t want their first kiss to be tainted by the memory of Lena’s time away. “But that wasn’t really what gave it away.”

“What did then?” Kara asked curiously. She was moving her thumb in a circle against Lena’s hip in a motion that was absent minded but one that Lena was acutely aware of.

“There were a lot of little things that had me wondering, but I knew for sure when you rescued me from Lillian and Cyborg Superman.” Lena offered Kara a warm smile. “You were the only one who believed in me no matter what, and when you showed up as Supergirl with that same certainty, I just knew.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kara asked, her tone curious and absent any hint of accusation.

“I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me yourself.” Lena looked away, suddenly shy. “I was hoping that when you did finally come clean, we would talk about us.”

“We would have,” Kara said surely. “I think that’s part of why I was still waiting. I already felt so strongly about you but I was scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way. I used my secret identity as a way of avoiding us being anything more than friends.”

“I would say it was effective, but I think we’ve always been more than friends.” Lena said with a soft smile. Kara chuckled and nodded in agreement. There had always been a sense of something more between them, even if they’d never acknowledge it before.

“I was going to tell you, after the invasion force was gone. I went to your office right after it was over, but you were already gone.” Kara leaned into the touch when Lena shifted her grip slightly to cup Kara’s cheek. “I’m glad that you know. I don’t want to have any secrets from you.”

“I feel the same,” Lena blinked sleepily at Kara for a moment. “I don’t want to go back to sleep.”

“But you need to,” Kara guided Lena back into her arms, positioning them so that they lay side by side, facing one another. Kara rested one arm across Lena’s hip and wound the other one beneath the pillow. Lena shuffled closer and tucked her nose into the crook of Kara’s neck, returning Kara’s embrace. “So sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Promise?” Lena smiled against Kara’s neck when she felt the lips pressed against her forehead slip into a soft smile.

“Promise.”

Just as Alex predicted, it was another five days before Lena was strong enough to leave the mansion. She still felt fairly weak now that both the kryptonite and Kryptonian blood had left her system so she had leaned heavily on Kara as they made their way out of the mansion. Lena wanted to walk out of the mansion on her own and then get to the boundary that Lex had set before she let Kara fly them back into the city. Whether it was a matter of pride or of Lena showing herself that she was stronger than whatever Lex had done to her, Kara didn’t know, but she supported Lena the whole way. Once they reached the boundary, Lena all but collapsed into Kara’s arms. Kara picked up Lena and cradled her to her chest to fly them back to Kara’s loft without bothering to change into her Supergirl seat. It was the middle of the night, she probably wouldn’t be seen and even if she was, Kara didn’t care. All she cared about was getting Lena home.

Kara placed Lena back on her feet after they landed in Kara’s living room and stood quietly as Lena observed her home. She knew that Lena was looking for anything that was different from the last time she had been there and wondered what she saw. Kara stayed silent when Lena carefully moved away from her and ran her hand along the soft blanket that rested across the back of Kara’s couch. Kara smiled at the action. The blanket was one that Lena had gotten as a bit of a joke, claiming that Kara didn’t have a soft enough blanket for her delicate sensibilities. Lena had taken to snuggling in that blanket with Kara when they’d had movie nights together, the soft material covering both of their laps as they sat closer together than friends strictly should.

“You kept it,” Lena said softly.

“Of course,” Kara stepped up behind Lena and wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist from behind. Her smile turned soft when Lena leaned back into the embrace and covered Kara’s hand on her stomach with one of her own. “I was hoping we’d get to have another movie night.”

“We will,” Lena promised. Kara kissed her forehead. “Kara?”

“Hmm?”

“I need a shower.”

“Okay,” Kara agreed easily, pressing another kiss to Lena’s forehead.

“I…” Lena hesitated for a moment. The truth was that she could probably manage a shower on her own but she wasn’t ready to be away from Kara for that long. The longer she was around Kara, the more scared Lena became that she hadn’t been rescued at all. “Can you help me?”

“Of course,” Kara agreed immediately. “Whatever you need Lena, I’m here for you.”

Lena nodded and stretched up to kiss Kara’s cheek rather than voice her thanks. Kara understood anyway and offered Lena a smile as she took her hand and led her towards the bathroom. They paused in the bedroom long enough for Kara to grab both of them clean clothes to sleep in and then they were in Kara’s small bathroom with the door closed.

Kara reached to turn on the shower and had Lena test the temperature before helping Lena undress. Her hands were soft and sure as they moved across Lena’s body, her eyes never lingering for long enough to make Lena uncomfortable even Lena was unable to offer the same courtesy to Kara. Kara undressed herself quickly and Lena drank in the sight of every inch. Her eyes roamed over Kara’s form unabashedly and she saw the flush rise along Kara’s chest as she noticed.

“Come here, baby,” Kara requested softly, holding her hand out to Lena. Lena placed her hand in Kara’s and let herself be pulled closer until their bare bodies were pressed together. “You can touch me, Lena,” Kara whispered in her ear. “I won’t disappear.”

“What if none of this is real?” Lena asked in a voice softer than a whisper. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve dreamed of seeing you like this.”

“It is real, Lena. I’m here and I’m as real as you are.” Kara promised. “Listen to my heart beat, feel the warmth of my body.”

Lena placed her ear against Kara’s chest and closed her eyes, soaking in all that Kara had to offer, from the sound of the heart beat in her ear to the softness of Kara’s skin against hers to the warmth that filled her being. This had to be real. It had never felt like this in a dream before.

“You’re real?”

“I’m real,” Kara said. “I’m real and I’m yours.”

“I love you, Kara.” Lena said, pulling away so she could look Kara in the eyes as she spoke the words that had been threatening to burst from her chest since she first saw Kara again at the mansion.

“I love you, too, Lena.” Kara returned the words with a smile. “I will always be madly in love with you.”

Lena leaned up, closing the miniscule distance between them. Her words danced across Kara’s lips when she spoke again.

“Show me.”

Kara did.

She pressed their lips together reverently, pulling Lena closer until they were one and the same. Her hands traced gentle paths against Lena’s skin, pressing her love deep until Lena was sure that she could feel it in her bones. Their lips moved together in a dance that seemed to be second nature, as if it was something that they were always meant to share with one another. Lena whimpered against Kara’s mouth, overwhelmed by the promises Kara whispered into her skin. She wasn’t aware that she was crying until Kara was pulling away to wipe her tears from her cheeks.

“I’ve got you, Lena. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Lena nodded mutely and let Kara pull her into the shower. The hot beat against Lena’s skin soothingly, no match for the heat that left trails of fire and goosebumps across the surface as Kara gently washed Lena’s body. Kara’s hands massaged the soap into Lena’s skin, massaging her tired muscles at the same time. Lena had to brace a hand against the wall to keep her knees from buckling under the weight of Kara’s devotion.

Kara showed the same love and care as she washed Lena’s hair. Lena then leaned against the shower wall as Kara quickly washed her own hair and body and then stepped into Kara’s space before Kara could reach to turn off the water. She didn’t say anything as she wrapped her arms around Kara and pressed close, shivering as their bodies slid together under the water. Kara returned the embrace without a moment of hesitation, pressing soothing kisses into Lena’s hair and whispering assurances in her ear as Lena silently cried against her shoulder.

They stayed like that until the water ran cold and Lena was shivering in Kara’s arms, both from the temperature and from her building desire to return the gentle affections Kara bestowed on her. Kara led them from the shower and tried Lena’s body with a towel before wrapping her up. Before Kara could reach for the clothes to help Lena get dressed.

“Don’t please,” Lena requested, hating the way her voice trembled. “I need to feel you.”

“Okay,” Kara set the clothes back down and finished drying herself and Lena off before leading them into the bedroom.

Lena dropped her towel and settled into Kara’s bed, taking comfort knowing that she was surrounded by Kara's scent as the woman herself went around the apartment to turn off lights, close the windows, and make sure the door was locked. Lena had no idea how late it was but she didn’t care much. She’d been in a near constant state of exhaustion since she’d been rid of the kryptonite in her body.

Kara climbed into bed after what seemed like hours to Lena but had probably been only a matter of seconds. She pulled Lena into her arms and kissed her softly, moving their lips languidly together. Lena revelled in the pressure of their bodies pressed together. Being like this with Kara felt more like home than anything else ever had.

Kara doesn’t protest when Lena angles her head to deep their kiss or when Lena sits up and shifts to straddle Kara’s waist. She simply holds Lena’s hips and kisses back until Lena pulls away, breathless, with desire pooling low in her belly.

“Are you sure?” Kara asks, chest heaving. Lena doesn’t even think about saying no. She’s wanted this, wanted Kara for so long that even though she’s certain that she’s not dreaming anymore, it still feels like a dream come true.

“I’m sure,” Lena responds. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

Kara’s bright smile is pressed against Lena’s lips and they lose themselves to each other. Lena runs her hands along Kara’s body, learning the places that make Kara sigh when she runs her fingers over them and the ones that make her gasp when her lips and teeth follow the same paths. She listens to her own name falling from Kara’s lips like a prayer and is helpless to the way her body trembles when Kara worships her in kind.

They move together through the night, learning all the things about each other that they should have learned three years ago. Lena climbs higher and higher under Kara’s ministrations, her only thought dedicated to making sure Kara feels the same euphoria until they both collapse into each other’s embrace just as the sun rises.

“I wouldn’t have waited so long if I’d known it would be that good,” Kara jokes softly, her head pressed against Lena’s neck. Lena chuckles and presses her fingers into Kara’s hair, scratching lightly at her scalp.

“We have plenty of time now, don’t we?”

Kara’s smile is pressed into the soft skin above Lena’s pulse point as she answers.

“We do. We have forever.”

“Forever,” Lena hummed softly, running her free hand across Kara’s arm. She liked the sound of that, Lena thought, as she watched the sky outside the window fade from pink to blue.

Forever in the arms of the woman she loved most. That was better than anything Lena could have ever dreamed up on her own.

#supercorp #supercorp fanfic #ambs writes #my fics #this started as a beauty and the beast au #and then morphed into this #i'll post it on ao3 as soon as i come up with a title #also might have another one or two parts to this series #i've got ideas

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unsaid-stardust · 3 years

Text

Nights Like This

Luke hated nights like this. These nights where all he wanted to do was write, but nothing came to mind. No melodies rang in his ears. No lyrics whispered in the back of his mind begging to be let out. No "Ba-bums" echoed in his eardrums that would later be turned into a drum pattern for Alex. No. It was all empty; his head. And yet, it wasn't. There were still so many things swimming around like a whirlpool. Everyone around him often joked that he didn't think. And he didn't....most of the time. But, then there were nights like these, when the words and melodies were empty, that gave way for his thoughts to move in to the forefront of his mind.

When he was alive, the remedy was easy: go. That's all he had to do. Go somewhere, anywhere, away from where he currently was. That always seemed to get Luke out of whatever funk he was in. But, now that he's dead, there's only so many places he can go. Sure, he could go walk on the beach or around the darkened streets of L.A., but it just wasn't the same. Not when everything that walked and breathed right through him just reminded him of what he wasn't.

So, that's how he found himself sitting on the porch swing at half-past midnight on the Molina's front stoop, swinging gently, back and forth, to the rhythm of the light Los Angeles breeze, gazing up at the twinkling stars, trying to remember the constellations that his dad taught him when he was 8.

He couldn't remember many of them, the constellations. He only really remembered the Big and Little Dipper, but who didn't? Luke sighed. There were a lot of things he didn't remember when it came to his parents. He was just always so focused on music it was hard for his brain to think of anything else and that included family. Sometimes on nights like this, he wished things had been different. That he had never picked up that stupid guitar in the first place. Because then, he'd remember more about his parents and he wouldn't be...dead. His friends wouldn't be dead. He wouldn't be sitting here, alone--

"Luke?"

Luke sat up at the sound of a voice that was the equivalent of what Luke imagined stardust would sound like and found the source, which was much more magical than stardust ever would be, standing in front of him: Julie, the wicked beauty who should instead be a sleeping beauty.

"Julie? What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep, thought I'd get some fresh air," Julie explained as she walked up the front steps of the porch. Julie didn't have to ask Luke to move in order for him to make room for her on the swing. And without much thought, he shifted so that his back was against the arm rest, his legs laying across the seat and against the back of the swing. Julie smiled and jumped up to the swing, copying Luke's movements so that they weren't quite touching, but were close enough to make Luke's non-existent breath hitch.

"What are you doing out here? Aren't you usually in the studio or roaming the streets or whatever it is you do? Actually, what do you do at night? You guys don't sleep right?" Julie asked. Luke smiled slightly at Julie's curiosity, but swallowed it back at the aching thought of passing all the lifers on the crowded streets.

"I try to write usually. But, everything up here is sounding a lot more like those crickets in cartoons," Luke joked so that Julie wouldn't worry. It seemed to work because Julie sounded a laugh that was music to Luke's ears.

"That's a first," She snorted. Luke shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Luke retorted and turned his attention back to the stars (Which really should be jealous of how bright Julie Molina shined when she laughed, or did anything at all for that matter). Julie must've noticed how quiet Luke was being for she broke the silence.

"Hey, you'd tell me if anything was up, right?" Julie questioned, placing a hand on his knee next to her; Luke froze slightly at the contact, looking down at her fingers he often imagined tracing down his own skin just as she traced the keys on her piano. The touching was still so new and yet--it always felt right.

Like whenever Julie brushed her fingers against his when they were writing, it felt like she was the literal key to his heart. Or when she laid her head on his shoulder when they would watch Friends in her room, it felt like they were puzzle pieces that were lost under the rug for so many years finally coming together.

Luke never really paid much thought to the idea of soulmates before he met Julie. If he did, it was in context to music. Music was always his soulmate, but lately? Lately, he was beginning to think he was wrong.

"What do you mean? I tell you that the sky is up all the time," Luke intercepted. Julie rolled her eyes and took her hand away from his knee in order to place it onto his hand.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. I just--you always tell me that I can tell you anything and I want you to know that it's the same with me. You can tell me anything, Luke. Whatever you have to say, whatever you're feeling? I'm here to listen," Julie explained. If Luke was able to breathe at all, he was pretty sure that he would've forgotten how. His chest felt tight and the place where his heart used to be, the place that always felt and sounded hollow, didn't feel so hollow anymore.

The reason why Luke told Julie, and even Alex and Reggie, that they could tell him anything was, not only because it was entirely true, but because he felt like he didn't have that in his life. He had the guys, yeah, but he didn't ever want to burden them. They already had so much going on in their lives he never wanted to add to that. And his parents....he could yell at them and they wouldn't even listen. To have someone blatantly tell him that they were there for him made him feel things he couldn't describe.

He never was good at that, but with Julie...he could learn to try.

Without even a thought passing by, Luke moved his hand so that it was on top of Julie's, leaned his body forward, and brought her hand up to his lips, placing a lingering kiss onto the back of it.

"Thank you," He whispered against her hand and even though the only light that danced around them was coming from one dimming porch light, Luke caught a hint of a blush on her cheek causing Luke to bite back a smirk as he placed their hands back onto his knees.

They stayed like that, their hands lying on top of one another, the L.A breeze swaying their bodies back and forth gently in the night. And as they sat, talking about everything and nothing all at the same time, their hands staying conjoined the way a lock and key or a puzzle piece seemed, Luke thought that maybe, just maybe, he could get used to nights like this.

Tagging: @blush-and-books @willexx @littledancersun @moony221b @lydias--stiles @ruzek-halstead

#Julie and The Phantoms #jatp #juke #julie molina x luke patterson #jukebox #I wrote this at 2 am #oops #bree writes jatp

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imdisappeared · 3 years

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Fic: The Whole Bloody Time

This is my contribution for the wonderful @historyinthemakingzine

I had the greatest time participating and there are so many incredible artists and writers featured in it; go download it here it is so 100% worth it!

Summary: It is pretty clear how Alex has been doing and feeling throughout the years between meeting Henry for the first time at the diving finals of the summer Olypmics and diving with him into a $75,000 cake. But what was on Henry's mind during that time? How was he coping with all the little taunts and digs Alex directed his way? This story tries to give an insight into that.

Rating: Gen

Length: 3400 words

30 November 2016 – New York City

Henry wasn’t eager for the constant charity appearances. Or any appearances, for that matter. To him it was rather obvious that one could achieve a lot more if, instead of constantly letting other people know of all the generous acts one committed, that energy was used to actually commit said acts. But Henry had been forced to realize a long time ago that this was sadly how society worked, and that his family played an essential part in keeping it that way.

So there he was once again, somewhere on Fifth Avenue, wearing a well-pressed suit and a well-practiced moderate face. Having to listen to hours of swollen-headed, self-adulating speeches that all sounded the same had driven him to drinking his third glass of champagne, which must have been far too expensive to taste that mediocre.

Henry wasn’t against cancer-charities. Obviously not. What was rubbing him the wrong way was the elaborately calculated strategy, courtesy of the public relations team, that made him go to this kind of fundraiser. Because a mourning son, desperate to move towards a world where nobody had to suffer the same fate as his father had, was excellent for the ratings.

He wanted to vomit just thinking about it. Of course he wanted a world free of cancer and the best treatment for anybody until then. But he’d much rather be doing more hands-on work like—just a thought—changing the ways the pharmaceutical industry worked so that a few big corporations wouldn’t hold the power over almost everybody’s health.

He’d even prefer listening to hours of highly scientific research that he could never fully grasp than these melodramatic speeches, but he had no choice. And he had to be careful not to accidentally go for a few more glasses of overrated champagne, since that definitely wasn’t excellent for the ratings.

One hour later, Henry stood in front of an ugly golden-rimmed marble sink and looked into an equally ugly golden-rimmed mirror, wishing he could be literally anywhere else, when one of the stalls was pushed open and Henry almost lost his façade.

Out came Alex Claremont-Diaz, his natural charisma not even diminished by being in a bloody atrocious bathroom. Henry swallowed, busying himself with finding all the soap residues on his already very soap-free hands.

Henry had noticed Alex the moment he had entered the huge ballroom where the fundraiser was being held. He couldn’t deny that his glance had landed on the other man again and again throughout the night. Alex was mesmerising, his captivating presence like a magnet for Henry’s eyes. He could’ve watched for hours how Alex laughed whole-heartedly when someone at his table cracked a joke, how he talked with his hands and always seemed completely immersed in what his counterpart was saying, even if he probably was not.

Henry wanted to be looked at like that.

Several times that night, he had felt the temptation to walk over to Alex, to introduce himself properly and maybe somehow get to know him. But he hadn’t dared. They had met once already, but Henry hadn’t been able to focus on anything back then, too angry and devastated with everything happening in his life. He hadn’t been capable of additionally dealing with the prettiest boy he had ever had the privilege and misfortune to lay his eyes on, reminding him of everything he could never have.

Maybe tonight was his chance.

Continue reading the fic here.

#RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE #FirstPrince #history in the making #pre-canon #henry pov #it gets a bit angsty because Henry is brooding but we keep it light #so much pining #rwrb #fandom stuff #fanfic #my fic

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spaceskam · 3 years

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only then i am human

Summary: Rosa and Alex have a talk.

Tags: friendship, asexual rosa

ao3

It was cold in Colorado.

Rosa felt a chill go down her spine, but it felt nice and sobering and she didn’t want to go inside to get a jacket. Instead, she swung her feet off the edge of the balcony, beneath the bars, and stared out to the nothingness around the hotel that Michael had picked.

She had listened to Alex and Michael old-married-couple argue the entire way up to the suite. Alex thought going somewhere expensive with a more obvious paper trail was stupid, but Michael had never been to a nice hotel and this was his only shot to do it with money he didn’t care about‒Jesse Manes’ life insurance. Alex stopped complaining whenever they got up to the suite and there was a separated bedroom and a pullout couch and the two of them would get to be alone for the first time since they left Roswell to go investigate.

Rosa had practically begged them to let her tag along, needing new scenery and to get away from everything that came with Isobel Evans. She was, again, too close for comfort and Rosa was starting to get anxiety whenever she came around, progress be damned. When she found out Michael and Alex were going to investigate Weird Alien Shit™, she jumped at the chance to put space between them.

But her mind was still hazy, still not liking the way she felt uncomfortable when Isobel texted to check-in. It was fine at first. She even liked talking to her for a while. And then it wasn’t fine.

Rosa flinched out of her daze as a blanket touched her shoulders and she looked to see Alex easing himself to sit beside her, placing his crutches on the ground beside him. He was in his nightclothes, his hair was wet, and he looked more relaxed than he had in a few days.

“Finally got laid?” Rosa asked. Alex snorted and rolled his eyes, but he didn’t deny it. Rosa let her eyes drift back out to the nothingness.

“You okay? It’s getting late,” he said instead. Rosa shrugged, resting her head against the bars. “Michael’s out cold, so you can talk without thinking he’s gonna overhear.”

Rosa huffed a laugh and looked back out. She didn’t actually care what Guerin heard. He was probably the only alien that didn’t make her skin crawl. She wasn’t sure if it was because Alex trusted him or if it was because he was brutally honest with her about everything, but she preferred him to even most people. Besides, he made Alex soft and fed him hot fudge sundaes and Alex deserved that.

“Isobel keeps texting me,” Rosa said.

“I thought you two were friends,” Alex said carefully. Rosa bit the inside of her cheek and swung her legs a bit harder.

“We‒are, but,” Rosa said, pausing as she tried to find the words, “I don’t know. Something is making it weird. Like, I’m not scared of her. But it’s close to fear. Or something. I don’t know, Alex, I don’t do feelings well.”

“Uncomfortable?” Alex guessed, slowly like he didn’t want to assume anything. Rosa shrugged but then nodded, though she wasn’t sure if that was the right word either. “How’s she acting?”

“I… I don’t know. She’s just too close sometimes. Leans too close and talks too close, like we’re a part of some inside joke together but I missed the memo. Kinda like it was before, Rosa tried, though it wasn’t quite right, “But not really. Like I don’t think she’s trying to make it weird. Does that make sense?”

“You think it might be PTSD?” Alex asked. Rosa instantly shook her head.

“No, it’s not just her.”

“Yeah, but you literally got murdered. Like… that can fuck someone up for more than just one person,” Alex said. Rosa’s lips twitched into a small smile and she shook her head.

“No, it’s not like that. It… It kinda happened before then. Drugs helped, honestly,” Rosa admitted, “Anyone who gets too comfortable with me in that way makes me feel weird and like I need to get away. And I usually can and do, but with her it’s a little different because we’re actually friends. And before everything, I either got high to deal with it or I pushed them away. But I’m friends with her, so I should be fine. I don’t know why I’m not fine. I don’t know, it’s weird, I don’t know how to explain it.”

Rosa groaned, letting her head hit the bars with a bit of force. She hated trying to put her feelings into words.

“I mean, we’re close. I act close. You and Michael have been weirdly buddy-buddy. And Maria. Do you feel that with us?” Alex asked, though it sounded like he already knew the answer. Rosa eyed him until he quirked a small smile, a silent confirmation that he basically had her pegged.

“No. You two are gross, but I feel fine. Mostly.”

“So, do you think it might be, like, flirting? Is that what sets off the sirens in your head?” Alex asked. Rosa scrunched up her nose.

“Are they flirting?”

“I mean, I don’t know, I’m asking you,” Alex said, shrugging. Rosa looked more directly at him and wished he could just give her the answers. He was older than her now, so, really, he should be able to do that. “If they’re being close and stuff, it might be because she likes you. Just tell her you’re not interested.”

The idea of doing that made Rosa feel like locking herself in a small room and never coming out.

“Unless… You are interested.”

“No,” Rosa said instantly, shaking her head, “I’m not.”

“It’s okay if you are.”

“I’m not though,” Rosa said firmly, “But if I say something, she’s probably not going to be my friend anymore, right? Like she’ll get mad. And then I won’t have friends.”

“She won’t. And if she does then she’s the problem and fuck her,” Alex said simply. Rosa sighed, tilting her head back to look up at the moon. “Is this really like… a recurring problem? Where you get uncomfortable whenever you think someone might be flirting with you?”

“I mean, I’m just not interested in a relationship and I don’t want to lead anyone on and I don’t want to make anyone angry,” Rosa said, “It was much easier when I could just take something and not feel it.”

“Okay, but we’re not doing that. We’re working through it. Is it a rejection thing? A sexuality thing? Whenever I was in high school, I’d get that way when girls flirted with me, didn’t know what to do without giving them the wrong idea,” Alex offered, scooting closer as he tried to help. She appreciated it, but she also wished he’d leave her alone and go away. “You say you’re not interested. Are you, like, not interested at all… ever?”

“No offense, Alex, but I don’t want to have this conversation with you,” Rosa said. Alex huffed a small laugh.

“Who else is there to have it with?” Alex wondered. Rosa made a face and looked at him. He seemed open and earnest. He seemed grown up.

With a sigh, Rosa asked, “What does it feel like? When you like someone like that?”

“Like the scariest thing in the world and also the best. Like all the movie cliches make sense and half the time they’re all you can think about. You just want to be with them and have them pay attention to you. You just want them in anyway you can have them, like a craving you can’t satisfy. Like, with Michael, when we were younger, I was so scared of how much I wanted him, but he’d look at me and it felt like he trusted me and it made me feel brave. And, I don’t know, I guess I made him feel brave too. You just want to be close and to keep them safe and have them always,” Alex rambled, clearly trying his best to explain it.

For the first time, Rosa didn’t feel like she was drowning in confusion.

“Okay,” she said, “I’ve never felt like that before.”

“Ever?”

“No,” she said, laughing softly, “I thought that was fake.”

“Definitely not fake,” Alex said, looking at her with a soft look. Sort of like the one she tried so desperately to give him when he came to her, thirteen and miserable, to say he thought he liked boys and didn’t think he could tell anyone else.

He probably pulled it off much better than she did.

“Okay, then what does that make me? Heartless?” Rosa asked, though she didn't really feel bad about realizing what she wasn’t feeling. At least she knew that she was actually not feeling it and she wasn’t just drastically misunderstanding something. “A prude, maybe?”

“Have you ever looked into asexuality?” Alex asked. Rosa shook her head. “I haven’t really either to be fair. I actually learned about it from Michael. He apparently got really into queer literature and history whenever Max was dead, would read it to him as a way to be caring and annoying at the same time. Sometimes he’ll spout fun facts at me. Anyway, sounds like it might be something you wanna look into.”

“Okay, I will,” Rosa agreed, though she still found herself looking out to the nothingness.

“Not that you need labels. I just think sometimes knowing we’re not the only ones out there like us is helpful. And you’re already an anomaly in other ways, so might as well not make yourself feel more alone than you are, you know? It’s clearly upsetting you,” Alex said. Rosa nodded.

“I get it. Thanks.”

“And maybe talk to Isobel, tell her to give you some space.”

Rosa sighed, tilting her head back and closing her eyes for a moment. She just wanted everything to make since. She didn’t like navigating new friendships in the first place, it was scary and she was never able to gauge how they felt about her. It was easier, especially when she was sober, to just not deal with it. To just keep the friends she had now and push everyone else away.

But that wasn’t plausible or healthy and she knew it. That would lead a lonely existence and she was already lonely. She never felt like she was anyone’s person in the way she wanted to be someone’s person. And, really, it was a hard thing to request because she wasn’t sure how to explain it herself.

She supposed, however, that she would never get anywhere if she didn’t try.

“Seriously, trust me. Avoiding the tough conversations only leads to shitty situations. Like, you know, a decade of complications because you never speak,” Alex pointed out. Rosa rolled her eyes at him.

“You can’t pull that card with me, it’s you and Guerin’s fault for all that.”

Alex grinned and shrugged.

“Yeah, but once we talked, we got to a place that we’ve both been wanting for a long time. So cut out the bullshit and just tell her what you want and don’t want. Again, if she gets mad, fuck her,” Alex said. Rosa nodded and sighed all over again. Sometimes she hated having to be grown up. “Okay, I’m gonna go to bed. We’ve got a big week, so try to get some sleep yourself, okay? Love you.”

“Love you too,” Rosa said, accepting his smile as he pushed himself up and made his way back into the suite and into the room he was sharing with Michael.

It was weird hearing it put into words. She obviously knew people liked each other in a way different than she could understand, but she had never really clocked how real it was to them. She understood craving someone’s attention and presence, but it wasn’t in the way it seemed to be for Michael and Alex or even Liz and Max. She thought they were just being fucking annoying.

Maybe there was something she was missing.

Reluctantly, Rosa pulled out her phone and opened the text thread she’d had with Isobel.

Rosa: Hey, I think we should talk when I get back. Set some boundaries, maybe.

Before it could even show that Isobel had seen it, Rosa exited out and put her phone on do not disturb. She stared out at the trees and nothingness for a few more minutes before she eventually got the courage to get up and go inside. She shut the glass door and laid down on the pullout couch that Alex had set up for her.

She hadn’t realized how tired she’d been until her head hit the pillow, a wave of exhaustion hitting her at full force. And she was thankful for that, honestly. It was easier to keep a clear head when you couldn’t stay awake.

Still, before she could fall asleep, she opened her notes app to type a reminder.

Asexuality. Ask guerin to borrow some of his books.

#rosa ortecho #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #happy birthday to amber midthunder

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facelessfrey · 3 years

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Roswell New Mexico - Season 3, Episode 11

Definitely not my favorite episode of the season and I continue to be super confused about many things but it had some good moments.

While I was happy to get Rosa back this week, I hated that we lost Kyle, Alex and Maria (And Greg and Anatsa). What I hate more is that the show just straight up ignores their existence when they’re missing for an episode. Like why not have some follow up to last week and at least have Michael mention having to leave Alex to come meet everyone or something and that he’s going back to Deep Sky or some such. Or maybe he and Kyle are working on another angle or something. Maybe some explanation of where Maria is. Does she have to work? Something? I just hate that they all just don’t exist.

Also, while I was happy to have Rosa back and involved again, I did not ever need to see Wyatt again. And I completely fail to understand the point of that whole plot tangent. And why was Kyle the only person who ever knew about the Wyatt thing if it was going to be a thing. I feel like Isobel shouldn’t have been surprised. Why don’t these people talk to each other? Sometimes people like Greg just magically know all the alien secrets because they apparently found out off screen and sometimes we get this. And this is why I’m always confused about who knows what because you never know which you’ll get. But really, I just don’t understand the point of Wyatt this season. They magically cured him of his racism so....he could make Rosa feel like she could change? Umm...that’s a bunch of bullshit. So he could distract his family so Isobel could find her sword? Pretty sure it could have been hidden literally anywhere else or the family could have not been around. So he could mail Rosa’s application? Uhh...pretty sure they could have achieved that any other way. I also like the fact that he apparently just left during those episodes he was off screen? Were they going to tell us that? I mean...it clearly doesn’t matter anyway but still...just why was Wyatt a thing at all? Sigh.

I did at least like seeing Dallas more involved. Although that was a whole lot of exposition he was responsible for explaining, along with Jones to Liz. They have to figure out a better way to do this kind of thing than these massive info dumps late in the season. I mean this was nowhere near as bad as season 2 but still. I did at least like that Dallas wasn’t secretive about maybe needing to kill Max and just straight up told him. And I like that we at least got a tiny bit of Dallas grappling with the whole alien thing in this episode as a follow up to last week. It’d be nice if we saw Max reacting to literally anything going on. How does he feel about Dallas showing up? How does he feel about Jones being Michael’s father? Just...so many things.

I did at least enjoy that we briefly got the og pod squad back at the end there when they were going to take down Jones. That was nice. And that they were both understanding of Michael admitting his abilities.

Speaking of Michael, his scene with Sanders was of course my favorite of the episode. I really wish we got more of Sanders all the time. I just want more of him and more of Arturo. Give these characters their dad figures damnit. They clearly need them. Sanders was great in that scene with Michael. Also made me really wish we got that conversation Michael referenced when talking to Alex.

I also liked the scenes with Isobel and Rosa a lot. I really do like their friendship. I hated that it was partly about Wyatt but I did enjoy Rosa’s excitement over Isobel’s new power and just them continuing to support each other. It’s lovely.

I was kind of a bit bored by Jones laying out his past evil plans and his current ones, which meant the Liz and Heath stuff was also a bit boring. I mean it was fine but I can’t say I was gripped until everyone showed up at the end.

Isobel looked like a badass with her sword, especially that spinny knee move.

Jones locking them all in his mind at the end just felt a bit like they were just making up the rules as they went along but uhh...sure, I guess we’ll see where this goes.

So for next week...

I hope we’re done forever with this Wyatt nonsense. I hope we get everyone back and no one misses either of these episodes because I’m over that. I still wonder if that whole Maria’s vision plot is going to actually come back because I still don’t get the point of that? Will the Roswell Regiment have any further part to play or was that irrelevant too and merely there to help check some social justice boxes? Will we get to see Anatsa and Greg and get any further insight into their relationships with Isobel and Maria? Will Isobel and Anatsa finally get to kiss? Will Anatsa be a relevant character at all in the end or just randomly there? Will she be back next season? Will anyone acknowledge that Michael and Alex are together? Will Greg and Alex ever have another scene together? Same goes for Kyle and Rosa. Will we ever really find out what the fuck Deep Sky is? Will Ramos be more relevant? Will we be done with Max’s life being in jeopardy after this season? Please? Will anyone actually get killed off? Just...so many questions...

I feel like the final two episodes of a Roswell season usually feel like regular Roswell on crack so I’m a little afraid of next week but we shall see!

(Now I just have to find a way to covertly watch the episodes tuesday morning before forced family socializing...sigh...I hate this double episode thing. Such a bad week for it)

#roswell new mexico #roswell nm #roswell nm reviews #rnm S3e11

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adhd-disaster-willie · 3 years

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Seventeen and strung out on confusion; chapter 1/4

Summary: Just some snippets of backstory for the one and only Alex Mercer; aka my comfort character. Each moment will have a date attached so you can understand the timeline. Angst with fluffy found family moments :)

Warnings: Homophobia, swearing

---

As I’m sure you could guess, there are numerous problems that come with being the only out gay kid at your school in 1994. It’s not so bad if you keep your head down and persuade your friends not to get into a fight with everyone who throws a slur your way, but regardless. That pink hoodie that you’ve been wearing since you were 14 and is honestly too small at this point but your parents refuse to buy you another one? Well it’s a target on your back and apparently everyone at the school is now a professional archer. Or at least, they’re all very proficient in the art of unoriginal insults that cut deeper than they should. All of this is to say, don’t come out to your religious parents in 1994. Ever.

---

Alex Mercer was born into a perfect nuclear family, in a two story house with a white picket fence, brick columns, and a clean cut yard that was unsettlingly green. His parents were as religious as anyone could get; straight-laced, good Catholic parents who kept their hands tight around Alex’s shoulders. He went to church every Sunday and tried to ignore the way his neck itched from the too-tight collar and his mother swatting at his hands until he had to sit on them to refrain from drumming on the nearest surface. He was good at hiding the way he payed undivided attention to his little sister’s ballet classes, good at pretending to stare at the girls in the hallways that all his friends drooled after, and especially good at convincing everyone that he drummed and sang to… impress said girls. Right. But unfortunately, Alex was even better at accidentally outing himself a day into the New Year, consequentially losing all of his parents’ affection.

He didn’t even exist to them anymore. Maybe it would’ve been better if they’d given him a million restrictions and curfews and basically chained his hands together, because this was unsettling. And lonely. Family dinners were a thing of the past, and he’d really begun to sympathize with Reggie and his microwaved, half-cold meals every morning and night. But it could always be worse. They hadn’t kicked him out… yet.

---

January 25, 1994

“Alex, dude!”

Alex flinched upon realizing Reggie’s hand waving in front of his face. He looked up and smiled guiltily, realizing the way he’d frozen, spaced out staring at the wall and absentmindedly hitting his sticks against his legs with a beat that didn’t at all match the song they were supposed to be rehearsing.

Luke sighed, wiping the pout off his face. “Alex, come on man! We aren’t gonna get any gigs if you keep…” He waved his hands vaguely and slapped Alex’s shoulder. “Just, pay attention dude.”

“Right,” Alex replied, his voice strained. He was staring down at his shoes and he could feel his bandmates having a silent conversation above his head which he could only deduce Luke was not happy with, probably meaning they were stopping rehearsal. He didn’t want them to stop for him; it made him feel like a burden, and Luke was right, if they were gonna make it anywhere, they had to be all in.

“Alex, you okay?” Reggie asked, his eyebrows knit together in concern.

Alex nodded briefly and kept his gaze trained on his feet. His sneakers were too small and he had to curl his toes in for them to fit but he was afraid of the reaction he’d get from telling his parents he needed something.

“It’s not one of those homophobic jackasses again, right?” Bobby asked, moving closer, his eyes narrowing. “I swear, this time I will cave Josh’s fucking face in-”

“It’s not!” Alex clarified, finally lifting his head. “It isn’t…” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look it’s just my parents alright? They…”

Reggie’s eyes widened and he began fiddling with his flannel sleeves. “They didn’t… they didn’t hurt you did they?” He asked, his voice small.

“No, no they didn’t hurt me… not physically at least.” He laughed ruefully. “They’re just being stupid, alright? Ignoring me like they have for the past 3 weeks.” Alex stood up, well aware that at this point band practice was a thing of the past. He walked to the couch, the other three boys in tow.

“Hey!” Luke elbowed Alex’s side before throwing an arm over his shoulders. “That new Green Day album is coming out in like, a week.” He grinned, eyes lighting up. “I’ve been saving up to buy it, and we can use that new cassette player I got for Christmas to listen to it.”

Alex nodded, smiling softly and letting his head relax on the back of the couch. “Yea that sounds great. Promise you won’t listen to it without us?”

“Of course ‘Lex; we all gotta be there to find which songs we’re gonna cover.”

Reggie wrinkled his nose in confusion. “I thought you said we’d moved past being a cover band?”

“It’s Luke, he’ll make an exception for anything if it involves Green Day,” Bobby chuckled.

Several beats of silence passed in which the sun seemed to get increasingly lower in the sky, before Bobby sighed in resignation. “You’re all staying here tonight, aren’t you?”

Luke beamed, clapping Bobby’s shoulders. “You know us so well.”

“Sleepover!” Reggie laughed, pumping a fist in the air. “Does it count as a sleepover if we all basically live here at this point?”

“Shhh ‘Lex, don’t ruin our fun,” Luke responded.

Alex smiled hesitantly. Yea, he was okay.

---

May, 1994

Michael Williams had dark hair brushing the tips of his shoulders, eyes that were almost golden in certain lights and a smile that gave Alex butterflies. Not to mention he was in theater and had a reputation for flipping off the homophobic jocks that were constantly on Alex’s tail. Not that he did it specifically for Alex, but still. The only problem was that talking to cute boys that he hadn’t known since 3rd grade was far from Alex’s strong point.

“Come on Alex!” Luke groaned, sliding into the last open seat at their lunch table. “Just talk to him before I literally combust.” He punctuated his sentence by waving at Alex with a cold french fry.

Alex grumbled something, his face in his arms in a futile attempt to hide the red dusting his cheeks.

“Hey Luke, if you explode because Alex refuses to talk to his crush, can I have your CD’s?” Reggie quipped, a lopsided grin on his face.

Luke gasped in mock offense. “Reginald-!”

“Still not my name.”

“I will be buried with my music,” Luke said. “Both of my guitars too-”

“Even your amp?” Bobby questioned.

“Yes.”

“Seems like a waste of space. Can you even fit all that in a coffin?”

Luke shrugged. “You guys can figure it out. Don’t betray my dying wish.”

Something that would’ve been silence had Luke ever been taught how to chew like a normal person passed over the table, in which Alex’s attention drifted lazily back to Michael Williams, who was chatting enthusiastically with one of the girls in his theater class. Alex didn’t know her name but they had biology together and she never gave him dirty looks, so he liked her.

“10 bucks if you go talk to him,” Bobby said, nudging Alex and waggling his eyebrows.

“No. No,” Alex said. “Not happening.”

“15.”

“Where is this money coming from?” Alex squeaked, although the prospect of $15 was all too tempting. He could get some decent shoes for that.

“20,” Bobby continued, grinning maniacally.

“Dude!” Luke laughed. “How are your parents gonna like you asking for money to fulfill a bet?”

Bobby slapped a hand over Luke’s mouth.

“I’m gonna regret this,” Alex sighed, already moving to stand up.

Reggie giggled like a child and offered a shit-eating grin to Alex, who promptly flipped him off before heading across the cafeteria.

---

December 17, 1994

Alex was screwed. No. Alex was completely fucked. Alex Mercer was likely seconds away from living in a ditch. Because of course it had to be his sister who caught him making out with a guy after school. And of course she was too young to understand why she couldn’t tell Mom and Dad. Because she would’ve done the same if he’d been kissing a girl because kissing is gross and it’s funny to tell your parents that your big brother was kissing someone.

“Hey Mom, guess what Alex did today?” Angie asked, giggling. She was perched on the counter, licking frosting from her fingers while their mother brushed cookie crumbs from her dress. And Alex was frozen at the top of the stairs, crouched down, his heart pounding so loud he was sure it could be heard downstairs. He dug his nails into his palms and prayed that his mother would pretend he didn’t exist when he wanted her to. It was one thing, them knowing. But this? This was something else. Alex’s parents lived on the philosophy that homosexual thoughts got you an eternity in hell, but homosexual actions got you shunned and thrown out. So yea, he was screwed.

“What did Alex do today?” His mother asked, plastering a false smile onto her face, her voice sounding like she was already packing his bags. Alex wanted to get up and run. He wanted to go to his room and jump out the window and fly away. But it was like the sweat on his palms was superglue keeping him stuck to the carpet, and his brain had short-circuited.

Angie laughed again, trying to get it out through her snickering. “Alex was kissing someone today.” She sang, her small feet swinging back and forth, the noise of her heels against the counter like knives in Alex’s ears. “That boy Michael that used to go to our church.” The innocence in her voice made Alex ache.

“Angie.” His mother’s voice was cold now. “Leave please.”

Angie’s brow furrowed in confusion, but she scurried up the stairs anyway, giving Alex a tearful hug on the way because even at ten, she knew that that voice meant trouble. “Sorry ‘Lex. I shouldn’t ‘a told your secret,” She whispered, before sprinting to her room and leaving Alex wondering if he’d get to see her after tonight.

“Alex Mercer, please come downstairs.” Her voice chilled him to the bone, like shards of ice penetrating his skin and seeping into his blood. But he walked down anyway.

Alex tightened the muscles in his hands and feet, willing himself to stay still and planted to the wooden floor, facing his mother head-on, as if the look in her eyes wasn’t terrifying him to the point of tears. But he wouldn’t let her see that she was getting to him, he wouldn’t. So he bit his tongue and counted down from ten inwardly.

“What is this nonsense?” She hissed, reaching out and gripping his forearm, her nails a millimeter away from digging into his skin.

Alex swallowed roughly. “I- I don’t know. Angie’s just… she’s-”

“Don’t lie to me!” His mother snapped. She brought her hand back, curling her fingers in with a look of disgust, as if she’d been touching fire. And then she was speaking again, but Alex couldn’t hear her over the pounding in his ears. He tightened his jaw and shut his eyes momentarily. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

“Get out.”

His eyes snapped open. Alex stood still in front of her, searching her eyes for the slightest bit of remorse. But there was nothing but ice. So he left. He left with tears running down his face and he couldn’t even bring himself to say goodbye to Angie. It wasn’t until he was halfway down the block when he realized that he had nothing but the clothes on his back and a backpack full of everything he could fit, and no where to go. He collapsed on the ground, the cold night air finally hitting him, seeping into his bones. He looked up and wiped his eyes, sniffling. It was odd, the way that the Christmas lights were able to look so beautiful when he felt so broken inside. It felt almost unfair that everything outside of him was moving at a normal pace like nothing had changed. But Alex knew better than that. Everything had changed.

---

These are the people who expressed interest in reading this when I posted about it a few days ago :)

@edgeofgillespie @herequeerandcantdrinkbeer @lookingthroughmirrors

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #can you tell i wasn't born in the 90s lmao #alex mercer #alex mercer jatp #jatp fic #jatp fanfic #reggie peters #luke patterson #bobby wilson #trevor wilson #willow writes

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skycruise · 4 years

Text

Misha virtual panel Sunday 22 Nov, 2020

Tried to type as much as I could as he spoke. I know the whole thing will probably be up fairly soon so you can watch, but for now--

--He finished shooting in March

--Thought he had mourned the passing of the show & had processed it but finale was an emotional experience, took him out for a couple days

--Thinks the fandom isn’t going anywhere

--Favorite memory making recipe with kids and Vicky, talks about how cookbook came about, West made pasta with jam sauce for Thanksgiving

--Projects for future? Worked on political elections recently, planning to do more of that particularly Georgia in January. Publishing book of poetry. Couple of film projects but not as actor, one he’s interested in directing.

--How do you think Jack brought Cas back? There was a different ending that Covid made impossible, but not supposed to talk about it. Involved bringing back lots and lots of cast members from the past. In original ending, Cas hadn’t gone to rebuild Heaven there was a DIFFERENT CONCLUSION FOR HIM. He did not read the last 2 episodes after the changes. He thinks Cas and Jack are more “ethereal” when rebuilding Heaven. Pure speculation though, he doesn’t know. Will probably be better explored in fan fiction than what he could come up with.

--Fan from Brazil thanks him and asks a question I don’t fully understand. Misha talks about watching the finale with his kids. West and Maison asked him to tell them if a scary part comes up, but he had no idea. Evil clowns “shell shocked” and probably traumatized the kids. West wanted to watch something else to get it out of his head. Went to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm lol. Misha jokes he is doing a shitty job keeping his kids away from the horrors of the world.

--Castiel “melded” with Misha. Cas was just a soldier at first but over time we saw him unfurl so that he didn’t fit in anywhere “fish out of water” but tried to be a good person.

--What is the one thing he will take with him from playing Castiel? A lot. On a professional level, it was fascinating to play a character for so many years. Talked about it with J2, how the characters became part of them over the years. Watching Dean’s death scene, he cried but because it was Cas’s friend Dean. It was a weird thing on an emotional level because the lines were blurry between himself and Cas. He feels he will literally take the character with him. Cas is part of him. Maybe he should double down on therapy to try and untangle him lol. Has a “naive” idea the fandom won’t go away, at least right away. Feels grateful to be a part of that, the fandom community does a lot of great things.

--Favorite thing to bake with the kids? Pies. Though he doesn’t love pie, but he does bake a lot of them and the kids like them. Favorite kind of pie? Probably strawberry rhubarb. Doesn’t bake enough cakes! Recently made fortune cookies and put little messages inside, he put lewd messages in.

--He wants to know if he’s naive thinking the fandom will be around awhile. Fan says NO he is not.

--Misha also teared up in 15x18.

--Anything more he can say about stuff that didn’t happen in finale that was supposed to? He doesn’t want to be the one to reveal, but what are they going to do, fire him? It was a version of Sam and Dean’s Heaven that was populated with all these people from their past, all of the characters that we love from over the years were there. But COVID.

--Favorite bts memory with the boys? He doesn’t have one, they were close friends for 12 years, lots of antics. Laughing fits, fights, got pissed off at each other, fondest memories of any work he’s done were on SPN, so much laughing and mirth, he’s going to miss that.

--Why did Cas’s trenchcoat remain intact despite all his deaths? Cas never lost the ability to magically mend his clothing. It made no sense that if he got stabbed or shot, sometimes it ripped the shirt but sometimes it wouldn’t. Or it would be cleaned up by the next episode. They wanted him to look like Constantine at the beginning, costume was 3 sizes too big, finally (he doesn’t remember what season) asked for a better fitting costume. New suit first, then lost the tie but eventually put it back. One season they just got him a whole new wardrobe and never explained it. He stole some trenchcoats.

--Cas’s confession was one scene where there wasn’t much joking around, he needed to be in an emotional state. Sat on a folding chair and ruminated on his own. Stunt coordinator noticed that and just stood by, knew Misha needed his space, it was really sweet. Made sure no one bothered him. Didn’t ask him to do that, it was intuitive & Misha was appreciative. Crew was great about that during heavy scenes.

--How did he feel reading script where Cas dies? Knew it was coming, had had conversations with Bobo, was happy with it. Felt a little risky and brave, was happy to be a part of that. Happy his character could express love like that. Has seen people complain about bury your gays trope and doesn’t think that’s what was happening. Cas is in Heaven, rebuilding Heaven, and also so much good came from that declaration. Cas saved Dean which was essential to saving the world. That declaration saved the world and was of Cas’s own volition, he wasn’t forced to do that, it was his choice & that’s important. Maybe he’s naive but he didn’t think they were playing into that trope. He’s glad Castiel got to express that. He’s proud that the show did that. He’s sure it’s a conversation that will continue to be dissected.

--Will he ever get an SPN tattoo? Hasn’t thought about it, has thought about getting one related to his kids. Is that a “has-been” tattoo? Should he get Jensen and Jared’s faces? LOL. Tattoo of Cas’s face on his abdomen? Nah probably no SPN tattoo.

--3 things he does to be kind to himself? Has a tendency to be hard on himself. Sleep, run, meditate. He feels guilty he doesn’t spend enough time with his kids so he does but doing that he sometimes doesn’t take care of himself as much which makes him grumpier and not a great dad. Balancing act.

--Fave moment of finale was Dean’s death scene. Masterfully executed, well done, excellent performances from J2. Made him cry.

--Best memory of last day on set. Everyone was being really sweet, lots of tears from crew and cast. Last scene was last thing on Friday, Him Alex, Jensen, Speight had to fly to convention next morning. Finished around 130 am, got on chartered flight, 15 minutes in flash of light and BOOM, one of the engines exploded, circled back to Vancouver and plane was shaking, really scary, during emergency landing they were texting their loved ones because they weren’t sure if they’d see them again

--Did angels get their wings back? Yeah probably. Why wouldn’t they? He misses Castiel’s car though. The Pimpmobile. Had hydraulics. Remembers car jumping up and down because JARED broke it.

--Cas would be a great security guard because he never sleeps. Would not be a great teacher or architect or artist...could be handy in a kitchen though.

--What color are Cas’s wings? Misha always thought they were black, but maybe they’re rainbow colored!

--Worst joke from J2? Jokes J2 are not good people, they got really excited leading up to him directing because they were plotting, they were going to break into his apartment and steal his furniture but Misha was tipped off by crew. Fish left under his car seat, again he was tipped off. One thing he remembers is Jared messing with his directors chair so that he would fall when he sat on it. Fell for it probably 5 times. Also Jared messing up his lines until Misha went to talk to him, which is when he got pied in the face. Everything looked blurry for like 20 minutes, Jensen brought him another shirt & apologized, then during lunchtime Jensen pied him too.

--How did Cas feel when Jack became new god? Vindicated. Like, “we did it”. Also feels concerned that Jack is no longer Jack. But at his core Jack was still himself.

--Real story behind handprint? He doesn’t know, but it was a nice touch. Doesn’t remember how they came up with that. Great call back to very beginning. Poignant.

--Favorite Dad joke? The one with the snail getting thrown across the yard and 2 years later asking what was that about.

--Didn’t hear this one well but what I picked up was Favorite con moments? He and Jensen have had really fun panels in Rome

--Favorite version of Castiel to play? Loved playing LuciferCas and HumanCas. Wishes there had been more HumanCas. But regular Cas was his overall favorite, wouldn’t have wanted to trade regular Cas for any other Cas.

--Miss you guys, love you, hopefully see you soon.

#misha collins #virtual panel #StageIt #misha panel #creation 2020

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c-optimistic · 4 years

Note

Hello! Supercorp + things you said when we were alone

It was Alex who suggested throwing a party.

Lena hadn’t wanted it at first, still not quite sure where she fit in with the ‘Superfriends,’ but Alex had insisted and Nia had loudly proclaimed it would be the best party ever and even Brainy admitted he was excited by the prospect of a ‘normal evening’ with their friends. In fact, the only one who didn’t have an opinion about the party—its existence or lack thereof—was Kara.

She was maddeningly silent, in fact.

Oh, she helped with the preparations, insisted she be the one to take care of the food—

“I think considering I’ll eat most of it, I should have the choice as to what we eat,” she’d complained.

“Kara, it’s not your party,” Nia had laughed.

—was totally okay with having her apartment taken over for a day, and generally, was content with doing any of the hard labor Alex and Kelly insisted was necessary. The party would be spectacular, Alex had proclaimed, telling Kara to move the couch in her apartment for the sixth time, not liking the feeling she got when it was pressed against the wall.

And when Lena asked what the party was for, exactly, Kelly had said it was a celebration of having the gang back together again—a celebration, specifically, of Lena, a proper send off for her since she was going to be working in Metropolis for the next few months and they wouldn’t be all together again for some time.

(“We’re not...useless, or anything without you,” Kelly had explained, smiling as she watched Alex complain to Kara that her apartment wasn’t as suited to this party as they’d thought. “But you’re indispensable, and we were lost without you. And we all missed you. You’re the witty, sarcastic one. Not having you around was hard. And it’s going to be hard the next few months.”

“For all of you?” Lena had asked quietly, her eyes on Kara. They hadn’t talked yet, not really. And Kara was still frustratingly silent. Kelly had followed her gaze, then reached out and squeezed Lena’s shoulder.

“For some of us in particular,” she had offered.)

And really, for the most part, the party was spectacular. Nia was slightly tipsy, and at one point she and Brainy disappeared for a few minutes, coming back and seeming far warmer with one another than before. Alex claimed Kara as her partner in literally every game, declaring that the Danvers Sisters needed a comeback. Kelly exchanged looks with Lena, a mixture of fond and exasperated, every time one of the Danvers Sisters grinned widely in victory.

And then there was Kara. Kara, who seemed lost in thought when she didn’t think anyone was looking her way. Kara, whose eyes dimmed a little the moment Alex’s grins or Nia’s bright laughs or Kelly’s offers of food were directed elsewhere. Kara, who had looked over at Lena just once, her expression...broken.

Lena wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, she wasn’t even sure if there was anything there that she needed to make something of it. Kara had a lot going on in her life. She was Supergirl, a reporter, her love life was confusing at best, and Lena had heard through the grapevine that Kara hadn’t seen her cousin’s son since she briefly held him what felt like centuries ago during Crisis. It would be the height of conceit for Lena to assume that Kara’s odd mood had anything to do with her.

And yet...well. Kara was being so damningly, frustratingly, annoyingly silent.

So, deciding to throw caution to the wind, Lena waited the others out, listening to them wish her luck in Metropolis and hope she came back soon, watching Nia go from tipsy to definitely drunk, smiling gratefully when Brainy offered to get her home safely. She pretended not to see Alex’s wink or Kelly’s knowing look as they also said their farewells.

Once she was alone with Kara, she raised an eyebrow. “Well?” she demanded, pretending not to see Kara jump in surprise that she was still there. “Are you going to mope forever or are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“What? W-what makes you think there’s something wrong?” Kara shot back, recovering fairly quickly, adjusting her glasses and turning her gaze to the ceiling. “There’s nothing wrong,” she denied, sounding like she was convincing herself, crossing her arms over her chest, and giving a little nod, clearly unaware she was doing it.

It was inconveniently adorable, and Lena almost let the whole thing go. Almost.

“Come on, Kara. Do you want to leave it like this? I’m leaving for—”

“—trust me, I’m well aware you’re leaving,” Kara snapped, and her eyes were on Lena’s, the blue bright even behind her glasses. In fact, though Lena couldn’t be quite sure, she’d hazard a guess they were even a little bit...teary?

“Are you—are you upset that I’m going to Metropolis? It’s not permanent, it’ll only be—”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Kara interrupted, shaking her head, though her eyes still remained on Lena’s.

“Why not? You’re clearly bothered. I want to know why. Everyone else seemed okay with it.”

“I’m not everyone else.”

Lena nearly rolled her eyes. “Kara, I know that. I just don’t—”

“—you’re running away,” Kara interrupted again, throwing her hands up in the air, then taking several steps closer to Lena, hands clenched at her sides. “You’re packing up and running away.”

Lena’s mouth opened and closed several times before she was able to find the word. “My company—”

“—you’re making excuses. There’s nothing in Metropolis you couldn’t do right here. You’re still angry, still hurt, and you’ve decided running—”

“—okay, stop,” Lena shouted, holding up a hand. It suddenly occurred to her that Kara wasn’t even a foot away. Just a few inches, and they’d be touching. “You need to stop and listen,” Lena said, raising an eyebrow when Kara looked ready to argue. “Lex did a number on my company. There’s a lot to take care of, and I’ve taken business trips like this before. It’s the cost of running a corporation like mine. I’m not running anywhere, Kara. I’m just doing my job. So do you want to tell me what this is really about?”

Kara stared at her for a moment, looking lost and scared and frustrated with herself. She ran her fingers through her hair, let out a groan, and closed her eyes. “I don’t want you to go,” she said in a soft voice. “I just got you back. We’re just starting to....” She trailed off, blinking her eyes open, a crease appearing between her eyes. “I don’t want to lose you, Lena. I can’t. I want you here with me. I need you here with me.”

“Kara—”

“—I know you have to work. So just...just promise me you’ll be back, as soon as you can? That,” the strangest sort of expression flitted over Kara’s face, “that you’ll give us a chance?”

It was a very ambiguous statement. A very ‘open to interpretation’ request. And yet, Lena had seen this expression before. She’d seen it when Kara mentioned her relationship with James, with Mon-El. And a part of Lena dared to hope and her heart pounded in her chest.

So she closed those last few inches of space, pressing her forehead against Kara’s, gently taking her hands and tugging on her fingers until Kara unclenched her fists. Lena squeezed Kara’s hands briefly. “I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can. I promise to give us a chance.” Lena watches as Kara heaved a relieved breath, as her eyes fluttered shut and she actually brushed her nose against Lena’s. “Better now?”

“Yes, much,” Kara murmured, her thumbs running against the back of Lena’s hands. “Thanks.”

“It was an easy promise to make,” Lena assured her. “I don’t want to lose you either, Kara. I hope you know that.”

Kara’s brilliantly blue eyes opened, a wide smile appearing on her face. She nodded, almost as if unaware of it, then pulled her hands away from Lena’s to pull her into a tight hug, sighing when Lena’s hands clutched at the material of her shirt, when Lena tucked her face into her neck.

“I wish I’d said something earlier now,” Kara said into her ear, and Lena laughed, holding onto Kara even tighter.

#supercorp #fanfic #asks #anon

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im-the-punk-who · 3 years

Text

WIP Wednesday (a day late and a dollar short)

Just a snippet from Tying Rockets to Shoe Strings that gives me a lot of feelings. LOOK AT THEM THEY’RE BABIES.

“How could I have been safer with him?”

“I’m sorry.” It’s soft, and small, and he knows she means it. It doesn’t make it hurt any less. He walks out of the room, feeling numb and maybe a lot betrayed. He’d always hoped that his mother had a reason to leave him. That she hadn’t been able to take him with her even though she’d wanted to. Now, having that reason, he finds it doesn’t help and it just makes him feel hollow and bitter and empty.

He wishes Michael was here. Not that it would help how he’s feeling. But being around Michael always just...helps. But Michael is three hours away and probably in class, so Alex just opens up his phone and stares at the screen - stares at the empty bars on the corner that signals the reception is as poor as always in the house.

He walks out of the small building, not really intending to look for reception, just not wanting to be in the space. He makes his way over to the sheep, who are grazing with Mozzy and Ollie nearby. He gives both of the giant dogs a scratch behind the ears and sits down with them. Mozzy wanders closer, sitting next to him and leaning heavily against his side.

“Thanks boy.” He murmurs.

He isn’t sure how much time passes, but a faint buzz sounds in his pocket that pulls him out of the blank thoughts. It’s from Michael, and Alex almost drops the phone to read it.

Michael:

<3 If I drive out to see you tonight is that totally pathetic?

Alex:

I could actually really use a night away from the Rez, I think.

The circle indicating the message has sent hasn’t even disappeared from the screen when his phone starts buzzing again, this time with an incoming call. Alex slouches down to not risk losing the spotty reception and answers.

“You okay?” Are the first words out of Michael’s mouth and Alex smiles , despite himself.

“Sort of. Mom...told me some stuff and I guess I’m processing.” The call isn’t super clear, but he’ll take what he can get.

“I can be there in...two and a half hours.”

Alex raises his eyebrow even though Michael can’t see him. But Michael apparently knows him too well, because he sheepishly adds.

“I may already be on my way.”

Alex laughs as affection bubbles up in his chest. Michael is ridiculous, but it goes a long way towards making him feel less alone, somehow. Knowing Michael was also missing him.

When Michael pulls up to the house a few hours later, Alex has managed to wrangle his emotions enough to throw a change of clothes in his bag and let his mom know he would be with Michael for the night. She looks sad, and he feels bad about that. But she lets him go without a word.

Michael doesn’t turn back towards Albuquerque though, instead heading out further into the desert.

“Where are we going?” Alex asks as the truck bounces and jostles along the unpaved rock.

“I don’t wanna just turn around and go back to class. I came out here to spend time with you, not my Chem201 textbook.”

Alex looks away out the window, feeling a little bit vulnerable, like always, in the face of Michael’s honesty. It’s not an uncomfortable silence that follows - the bump and rattle of the truck over the terrain fills the void - but Alex can tell Michael wants to ask him something more.

“What did your mom tell you?”

Alex lets out a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding on a sigh.

“She said....” he trails off, looking out at the desert again. It seems so normal. Like nothing has ever been disturbed there, let alone something like radiation. Wasn’t that for nuclear waste dumps? “I asked her why she left me with my dad.”

Michael tenses - Alex can feel it in the way the truck momentarily shifts sideways as the wheel locks up in his hands. But he doesn’t say anything, just waits for Alex to continue. It takes a while for the words to come.

“She said she didn’t take us because it wasn’t safe here - some bullshit about poison or something that has been killing her family. But she came here -” he trails off.

“Maybe she didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“I didn’t either,” Alex shoots back, a little hurt that it seems like Michael is taking her side.

“Hey, I know.” Alex looks over at the tone in Michael’s voice to see Michael looking at him. His eyes are wide and earnest, with that hint of mischief that seems like it’s ever present. Michael looks serious, but that twinkle won’t fucking go away. “Did she say what it was? It’s safe for you here, now, right?”

“She said the government fixed it. That it was from some radioactive mining project or something they did.”

“Wait, when was this? Did she say what caused the radioactivity?”

“I don’t know. She said it killed my grandfather, though.”

“Alex...”

“I just...so I could have gotten sick. But at least maybe I wouldn’t be...I don’t know. Like this.”

“I like who you are.” Michael has stopped the truck and he unbuckles his seatbelt to turn towards Alex. “If she had taken you, we never would have met. And it’s not like...” “She could have kept in touch. Done...something. I was alone for so long.” Alex stares at his hands, clenching his fists against the anger. “I just wish I knew why she thought my dad was the better option.”

Michael’s arms envelop his shoulders, and he feels Michael’s forehead rest gently against the side of his face.

“It’s not that ... god I don’t know what I’d be doing if we’d never met.” Michael’s arms tighten briefly around him. “But I just wish he hadn’t had so much power over all of our lives.”

They sit in the truck, Michael’s arms around Alex, and Alex brings his hands up to grip the arm around his chest. It doesn’t make him any less angry, but it’s easier, somehow, to acknowledge all the thoughts swirling in his head. When he can just pretend he can hide in Michael’s arms.

“I hope...if we ever find your family. I hope they’re not as fucked up as mine.”

Michael laughs.

“That’s a pretty low bar.” It’s not unkind, and Alex laughs along with him.

“You know, I used to be so obsessed with finding them. I’d spend every fucking night out in the desert looking for any clue of where they were. I felt like I’d never belong anywhere unless I was with them.”

“What changed?”

Michael pulls away and Alex turns to look into his eyes. The emotion there is one that Alex is starting to recognize as love, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less terrified of it.

“I met you.”

And it feels like something is gripping his lungs and making it impossible to breath, at the implications of that. Michael continues, a wry, amused smile on his lips.

“I guess, after that, it didn’t matter as much why they left me. Why they hadn’t come back. I didn’t need them to feel like I belonged, because I felt that with you.” He pauses. Alex looks out the windshield. “I guess...I don’t know. It sucks, that your dad is literally a murdering fuckhead and your mom left you with him. But...I guess I just don’t think it has to define you, y’know?”

#sir those are my emotional support better adjusted teenagers with a support network and who are able to overcome their trauma to be together #malex #roswell new mexico #theyre just babies sir #milo writes #trtss snippets

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

Text

i can’t focus when you’re with me (i can’t sleep when i’m alone)

hello i wrote some jalex because i had XO by nightly stuck in my head and this came from that

thank you @tirednotflirting and @reveriesofawriter for the love i love you guys so much all the time

title from XO by nightly

read it here on ao3

It’s on a pink sticky note on the fridge.

back soon. xo

The sign-off is familiar. The sticky note is also familiar, though Alex doesn’t really see why Jack leaves them anymore. There’s no point to the sticky note when Alex already knows Jack will be back and is no closer to figuring out his system for deciding when. Maybe there is no system. Maybe he truly just appears whenever he feels like it.

Alex knows about variable-ratio reward schedules; he knows how the lottery works, promising an eventual reward and paying up just often enough to maintain the ruse. He isn’t an idiot. He can understand he’s not really winning the lottery when he spends every single night wondering if this will be the one Jack decides to grace him with his presence. One victory is nothing when it’s borne of a thousand failures. But Alex will take one night with Jack for two weeks without, and Jack knows that, too.

So maybe Alex is an idiot, but it’s worth it to be. Nights spent with Jack are some of Alex’s favorites. Mornings waking up without him are just an occupational hazard.

Jack doesn’t belong to him. That was never part of the agreement.

The spontaneity of Jack’s visits also cause a lot of problems in Alex’s life. He can’t plan his work around Jack when Jack has no schedule. And if Jack shows up while Alex is in the middle of something, forget it. As soon as the lock clicks and the door swings open — as soon as Alex hears the familiar footsteps and the toneless humming of Jack’s entrance — everything else becomes static.

It’s distracting. It’s infuriating. It’s intoxicating.

A cool breeze edging on warm sweeps through Alex’s open window tonight. He has a textbook open on the desk and his laptop beside it. The contents of the textbook are entirely failing to stick in Alex’s brain, and he doubts taking notes is helping in any way. It’s important that he learn this, especially when they’re moving on so swiftly from this section of the material; Alex can already foresee the late night he’s going to have trying to reteach this chapter to himself once he finishes reading it.

Three excruciating pages later, Alex decides the textbook can wait for a cup of tea.

It’s quiet around Alex’s place as he treks into the kitchen to put the water on. It’s quiet more often than not these days, as Alex has gotten more and more entrenched in his coursework. He’s had less time to play music. When he has free hours now, he typically uses them to sleep. It’s not an exciting life, but it’s the one he needs to lead so he doesn’t collapse from exhaustion at any given moment.

Still, the staticky hiss from the kettle as it starts to boil is comforting. Alex leans against the counter with his eyes closed, somehow simultaneously trying to refresh his memory on everything he just spent two and a half hours reading and trying not to think about that. As much as he knows he needs a break from all the studying, he’s not sure he can really afford it.

Naturally, this is when the lock clicks and the humming starts.

Alex’s eyes fly open. He stares out across the kitchen. The kettle finally reaches a loud conclusion and clicks to let Alex know it’s officially done boiling the water. And through the open doorway, an off-key rendition of ‘American Idiot’ announces Jack’s presence.

He’s humming the guitar solo. Of course.

Warring parts of Alex’s brain fight to react to this unexpected arrival. He wants to groan, because this is the worst time Jack could have fucking chosen, on tonight of all nights. He’d like to spin Jack by the shoulders and push him back out the door where he’d come in before he gets too comfortable. Sorry, not tonight, too much stuff to do that I can’t afford to let you distract me from, he’d love to say.

But the other part of him is imagining pushing Jack by the shoulders against a very much closed door, and Alex, in his weary state, isn’t disciplined enough to ignore that thought.

Jack won’t come into the kitchen — he says it’s too domestic for him. Alex pretends he hasn’t heard the door open and close and makes himself a cup of tea anyway, fully prepared for it to go cold. Maybe Jack will understand if Alex lays it out for him. Maybe if Jack sees the textbook he’ll latch on.

Not that Alex thinks Jack doesn’t understand how much work Alex has. Jack is an intelligent person. He knows. It’s just he doesn’t care.

And Alex has to take some responsibility, because it’s not like he’s trying very hard to express that it matters to him if he passes his classes. When Jack shows up, Alex gives up. He could try harder to focus on his work, to send Jack away, but he doesn’t want to. He likes when Jack is here. He’d just like it not to overlap with nights when he has an entire textbook chapter to read, memorize, and internalize.

Steam is rising off Alex’s mug like wispy cirrus clouds. He brings it to his lips, burns his tongue taking a sip, and sighs.

Jack is sitting in Alex’s desk chair when Alex finally returns to his room.

He looks up with bright eyes when he sees Alex come in. “Hi, finally.” As he clocks the mug: “Ooh, whatcha drinkin’? Did you make me any?”

“Tea, and no,” Alex says. “I made it for me, because I’m trying to study.”

“Operative word being try,” Jack says.

“Yeah, and hopefully soon I will be succeeding,” Alex says. He’s not sure why he insists on pretending to refuse Jack when they both know with one hundred percent certainty that this is not what Alex wants nor a hill he plans to die on. For his own dignity, though, he has to at least look like he’s making the effort to be responsible. “You wanna learn about childrens’ development in their first year of life?”

“Such a hard no from me,” Jack says. “But be real. Do you want to learn about that?”

“No,” Alex says. “But I have to.”

Jack sighs. He holds out a hand and Alex places his mug in Jack’s grip. “What’s this? The usual?” Alex nods. Jack brings it to his lips, barely drinking any before exhaling harshly. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

“Yeah, I just made it. As you came in.”

“You want me to go?”

Alex sighs. “Obviously I don’t want you to go. I’d love to get some advance notice for when you’re gonna show up, though. Tonight’s such a bad night.”

“Tonight’s a bad night so far,” Jack corrects him, setting the mug down on Alex’s desk. It’s dangerously close to the laptop; Alex nudges it further away, and Jack just shakes his head a little, smiling.

“I mean tonight is a bad night for you to be here,” Alex clarifies.

“Then I’ll leave.”

“But I don’t want you to leave.”

“So I’ll stay.”

“Yeah, but then I’ll be distracted.”

Jack shrugs. “I’m honestly okay with that.”

“I’ll be distracted from my work,” Alex says, although he’s sure Jack had understood the first time. “By you. Like always.”

“And I’m okay with that too.” Jack tilts his head, stretching his neck to look up at Alex, deliberately baring his throat. He drives Alex insane, in whatever way is most accurate to the moment. Alex wishes he had more self-control, but thinking about turning Jack away and instead spending several more hours at a desk reading page after page of information he won’t absorb makes him want to cry.

And it would be rude, after all this time, to mess with the rules of the game. Jack shows up expecting that Alex will surrender, and Alex being taken aback and generally inconvenienced by this is all part of the guidelines for playing. He signed his agency away the first time he kissed Jack against the door. It’s too late to ask for it back.

(It’s not really too late — if Alex wanted it, he’d have it. He just doesn’t want it.)

Alex holds up one finger and with his other hand he lifts the mug to his lips. It’s still too hot to drink but he lets the liquid scald the tip of his tongue and the roof of his mouth as he swallows.

“You could call me,” he says.

“I don’t have your number,” Jack says.

“You could ask for it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“It’d make my life a lot easier.”

“But way less exciting.” Jack stands up, and he’s taller than Alex, and he’s so close now that Alex can count his eyelashes as they flutter shut and then quickly open again. “You can’t plan for everything, Alex.”

“Okay, I realize that, but I could definitely plan for you,” Alex returns. “Like if you just told me when you wanted to come over I could plan for that to happen. Instead of just appearing out of nowhere and—”

“What, ruining your night?” Jack casts his gaze to the open textbook. He looks back at Alex, quietly smirking. “I’m so sorry for distracting you from the absolutely fascinating timeline of child development.”

“Yeah, you should be.”

“Alex, this is a rescue mission.” Jack’s fingers land feather-light on Alex’s wrist and travel up his arm, pushing his sleeve up to his shoulder and bracing against the slope of his neck. His grip tightens as he massages the tense muscles under his fingertips. “I’m like your guardian angel. I show up when I can tell you need saving.”

“Saving from the horrors of developmental psychology?” Alex mutters, posture slipping like a landslide. Nobody on the planet can ease the tension permanently at home in Alex’s shoulders, but Jack is welcome to try.

“Yes,” Jack says seriously. “From the horrors of developmental psychology. And because I can literally feel the tension in your shoulders. When’s the last time you relaxed?”

Last time you were here, is Alex’s real answer. “I’m not clear on the relevance of this.”

Jack frowns. “I don’t want you to be stressed.”

“Then stop showing up out of the blue,” Alex huffs.

“Really? I’m the biggest stressor in your life?" Jack sounds genuinely incredulous at this.

“No, you’re not.” Alex sighs, looking anywhere except Jack’s face. “But you’re not not a stressor. You know I’m busy. You know I like to have a schedule. A little warning goes a long way.”

Jack is quiet for a moment. His fingers dig into Alex’s skin, working muscles that ache under his firm touch. It feels improbably good for something that kind of hurts. Alex closes his eyes.

“Forget I said that,” he mumbles. “We’re not gonna get anywhere. I’ve made my peace with it. You’re just going to be absolutely unpredictable and I’m just gonna be fine with it, I guess, because I like when you’re here, even if you never want to tell me when that’s going to be. It’s fine.”

Jack’s hands still. “I just think you’re overthinking it. I’m not complicated, Alex. I’m so easy. This is easy. If it were that important to you, you would kick me out, and I’d go. But you never do.” He resumes his massage, this time on the back of Alex’s neck. “You’re always working. And I’m here on a rescue mission, like I said. To keep you from drowning in it. It’s just a question of if you’re willing to be rescued.”

Alex groans. Even he’s not sure if it’s from the frustration of knowing he won’t get through anything else tonight or an effect of Jack’s halfway massage, though he figures it’s probably both. They’ve exhausted this topic and they’re making no progress. Alex is out of patience.

“Okay,” he murmurs. “Rescue me.”

Jack’s warm hands move to Alex’s face, and he’s still smiling a little bit when their lips meet.

The sticky note is gone from the fridge. Alex is not surprised.

Sleep is still clinging to him, weighing from every limb. There’s a stiffness in his neck that has returned from wherever Jack apparently banished it to last night. Out the window, a blanket of clean morning light covers everything it can reach. Inside, a blanket is still dragging on the floor around Alex’s shoulders.

It’s when he’s reaching for the kettle that he remembers his cup of tea.

The blanket drags behind him as Alex treks back to his room, and there he halts in confusion. The mug is gone. He’d definitely left it here last night, and now it’s not here anymore. It had been completely full and now it’s missing.

Huh.

Alex glances at the textbook, open to exactly the page he’d left it at the night prior. There’s a pink sticky note he’d failed to notice earlier.

good luck, this seems boring as hell. xo

p.s. put your tea in the fridge xoxo

A smile crawls into the corners of Alex’s mouth and stays there.

He returns to the kitchen and finds his mug of tea in the fridge, as promised. There’s aluminum foil over the top, which seems pointless but a nice gesture. A confusingly nice gesture. Why is Jack changing the rules of the game all of a sudden? It’s unusual for him to move anything around, for him to leave any indication of his presence other than one single sticky note stuck somewhere for Alex to find.

Now, not only has he moved Alex’s tea, but there’s another sticky note. Alex finds it on top of the mug.

you’re cute when you sleep. xo

Alex stares at the piece of paper until his fridge starts beeping at him that the door has been open too long. He pulls the mug from the fridge and closes it. And then he stares some more. What is happening? What is Jack doing? Is this just going to be another new rule to which Alex is oblivious?

As the microwave reheats last night’s tea — Alex wondering as it spins how Jack had known that Alex is the kind of person to reheat the tea rather than toss it and make a new cup — Alex shuffles into the bathroom to splash some water on his face and deem himself presentable for the day.

And there, on the bathroom mirror, is another pink sticky note.

It reads:

I want to make your life easier. no pressure. xo

Underneath the words, there’s a phone number.

Alex smiles.

#jack barakat #alex gaskarth #jalex #jalex fic #all time low #atl fic #fic #my fic #im so sorry about the tea thing #guys i am 100% alex in this fic #and do you know how much i would kill to have someone just randomly show up at my door #and give me a massage #im literally dying #anyway #enjoy this #i figured id make it a real post because. yknow. fuck it why not i have the time #i have so much free time now that i dont have to worry about fic exchange #mmmmmmmm

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debbiechanclub · 4 years

Text

Best Two Out of Three, Part 24

Oh, friends. @hotyeehawman man and I would like to profusely apologize for how long it took us to get this part out. (And yes, we both changed our usernames - you’re in the right place!) It feels like it’s been an eternity since I posted any of this here fic. But luckily for you all, I’m pretty sure this is the longest part yet? And that being said, I’ll just let you lovelies get into it.

Best Two Out of Three

Part: 24/26

Pairing: Kenny Omega x OFC x Adam Page x OFC x Matt Jackson (yup that’s what we’re going with now.

Word count: 9.1k

Warnings: Language; angst; brief explicit sexual descriptions

Catch up on previous parts here.

Tag squad: @freshlysqueezedmox @gabbynorth98 @librathepheonix13 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @exe-sadboi-exe @comeasyoudar @champbucks

Callie awoke the next morning with an unmistakable knot in the pit of her stomach. Guilt.

It wasn’t regret. She didn’t regret sleeping with Matt. He had been… wonderful. Attentive. Caring. Passionate. He’d made her feel desired and alive in ways that she hadn’t in months. So long that she’d almost forgotten what it was like to feel like that. She’d missed it, craved it, more than she’d realized. And there was no one else she rather would have helped her find it again than Matt.

Which was precisely why she felt so guilty.

The covers shifted as he stirred next to her. She felt him roll over and snake his arm around her waist. She smiled and relaxed into his touch. She didn’t want to feel guilty about how Matt made her feel. She just wanted to feel it.

“Good morning,” she said. But he wasn’t quite awake.

“Mm,” he grunted in return.

She laughed and turned to face him. His long, thick hair was disheveled from sleep and had nearly fallen out of its bun. She reached out and brushed a stray strand back from his face. “I was thinking about going to get Starbucks. Do you want anything?”

He didn’t open his eyes as he answered. “Yeah, but I’ll get it, babe. Just gimme few more minutes.”

Callie’s pulse quickened. Babe. She chalked it up to him being half-asleep. “It’s okay, I don’t mind,” she insisted. “You want your usual?”

He nodded. She smiled and kissed his cheek, slipped out from underneath his arm, and climbed out of bed. Their clothes were scattered on the floor, remnants of the night before. She grabbed her joggers and pulled them on along with the closest shirt she could find—Matt’s Young Bucks t-shirt—and then she threw her hair in a bun, slipped on her sneakers, grabbed her phone and wallet, and went out the door.

The nearest Starbucks was just a five-minute walk from the hotel, but she was in no rush to get there. It was a beautiful morning, and she needed the air—especially after Matt had let that pet name slip. She did her best to clear her thoughts of it as she arrived at the coffee shop. She queued behind a man in a business suit and pulled out her phone like everyone else. But, not long afterward, someone unexpected joined the line behind her.

“Late night?”

Callie’s stomach lurched. She’d know that voice anywhere. Adam.

“Not really,” she responded without fully turning around. She was suddenly exceptionally aware that she was wearing Matt’s shirt. She didn’t want him to see it.

But then it came her turn to order—and there was no hiding that she was getting two coffees to go. She spoke as softly as she could when she told the barista what she wanted and, as soon as she paid, turned and hurried past Adam to a table by the window, flustered. Of course this would happen. Of course she would run into him the morning after she’d slept with Matt, getting coffee for him, wearing his fucking shirt. She looked warily back at him as she sat down. She just wanted to keep an eye on him… but she found herself starting to stare as he pulled out his wallet. Admiring the way his t-shirt stretched over his biceps. How well his jeans fit him. She started to get lost in her thoughts—but then he turned toward her. She quickly looked away, back down at her phone. But not quick enough. It wasn’t long before he was standing in front of her.

“Where’s lover boy?”

She glared up at him. “He’s not my lover boy.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, Cal. Hair up, glasses on, wearing his t-shirt. This has walk-of-shame written all over it.”

Callie’s brow lowered. “Well it’s not a walk of shame if I’m going right back to him, is it?”

She regretted it almost as soon as she said it. Hurt flashed in his eyes. But it was gone in an instant, replaced with nothing but resentment.

“So he made you go get the coffee?” He scoffed. “What a gentleman.”

“I offered to get it,” she snipped. “And what are you so upset about? You’re more than free to move on with Alex now.”

“Oh, am I? Well you might want to let her know that, because she went home with Kenny last night.”

Callie faltered. She didn’t know what to make of the sarcasm in his tone. Was he trying to mask his hurt? Or was he just being an asshole?

“Callie!”

The barista called out her name not a second too soon. She looked Adam in the eye as she stood from her seat. “Well, it’s not my problem that she rejected you,” she spat. “At least now you know how it feels.”

She shouldered past him, grabbed the coffees from the counter, and pushed out the door back into the morning air. She walked much more swiftly back to the hotel than she had to Starbucks. She knocked on the door when she got back to the room, too agitated to bother with trying to fish out her key card while balancing two coffees. Matt answered in just his sweatpants.

“That was quick,” he noted as she breezed past him into the room.

“Yeah. Oh,” she stopped and turned around to hand him his coffee. “Here.”

“Thanks…” he trailed off as he took it from her, his brow furrowed. Callie wasn’t surprised when he asked, “Are you okay? You seem flustered.”

“Yeah.” She breathed out and took a sip of her coffee as he shut the door. “I just ran into Adam at Starbucks. It was… awkward.”

Matt’s eyebrows arched. “Oh.” His eyes flicked down to her shirt. His shirt. “I guess he assumed…?”

“Yeah.”

He frowned. Callie fidgeted. Now it was awkward between them. But she didn’t anticipate what he said next.

“Do you regret it?”

Her eyes widened. “What? No,” she answered with a shake of her head. She walked over and gave him a reassuring kiss. “Not at all. I just would’ve preferred not to run into my ex the morning after.”

She inwardly winced at that word. Ex. It still hurt to think of Adam that way. She still loved him; that wouldn’t go away overnight.

But the feel of Matt’s arms around her helped.

“Well, forget about him,” he said. “Let’s go out today. Get away from everyone.”

A smile pulled at the corners of Callie’s lips. That sounded like a perfect idea. “Okay. I’m gonna jump in the shower.” She shot him a smirk as she pulled away. “Want to join me?”

He groaned. “All my stuff is back in my room.”

“So?” She peeled his shirt over her head and tossed it aside. His eyes drank in the sight of her.

“Twist my arm, why don’t you,” he said, and he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bathroom.

* * * * * * * * * *

Adam didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know what to feel. He didn’t know where to go from here. He didn’t want to go back, but he couldn’t see a way forward, either. And the kicker was that he’d done it to himself.

He’d considered turning around and walking right back out when he’d seen Callie standing in line at Starbucks. And after their interaction, he wished he had turned around and left. He didn’t want to know that she’d been with Matt last night. He didn’t want to think about him touching her body the way that he used to touch it, making her feel the things that he used to make her feel. He didn’t want to know that their relationship was barely two weeks in the ground and she’d already jumped into bed with another guy. And not just any guy—Matt-fucking-Jackson. Literally anyone else would have been better than Matt; Nick would have been better than Matt. But, ironically, he wasn’t surprised that it was Matt. Adam knew Matt had always had a thing for Callie; he’d known it from the day Matt had introduced her to him. But he’d never thought anything of it, never worried about it, not even when Matt would flirt with her right in front of him. He was his friend; he wouldn’t seriously try to move in on his girl like that.

He’d been wrong on both counts.

But, as hurt and upset as he was, Adam knew he didn’t have any room to judge Callie. Not really. Not after where his mind had gone last night.

He’d needed a physical release last night. He’d needed to unburden himself of the drunken, thoughtless way he’d kissed Callie; of the stress and tension and anxiety he’d been carrying for weeks. And so, alone in his hotel room, he’d taken care of it—and he’d thought about Alex. He’d thought about how her lips would feel wrapped around his dick, how she’d look underneath him as she took him, how she’d sound moaning his name. It wasn’t the first time he’d gotten himself off thinking about her, but he hadn’t done it in years, since long before he’d met Callie. And after he’d finished, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from texting her.

Hey, are you at the hotel?

Her response had gutted him.

No… I’m actually on my way to Kenny’s.

He hadn’t said anything else after that, and neither had she. He wasn’t sure what would have happened if she had been at the hotel. He wasn’t sure what he’d been hoping for when he’d texted her. But he didn’t want to think about it. Just like he didn’t want to think about the fact that Callie was with Matt right now.

He walked back into the hotel and crossed through the lobby, but he slowed before he could reach the elevators. Chuck nodded in greeting as he, Trent, and Orange walked toward him.

“Hey, Hangman. What’s up?”

He shrugged. “Oh you know, just went to Starbucks and ran into Callie getting morning-after coffee for Matt. So... yeah. What’s up with y’all?”

He took a sip of his coffee as they all stared back at him, unblinking. Maybe he shouldn’t have volunteered so much information, but he couldn’t help it—he was emotional. But before he could excuse himself and disappear, Trent said, “Well that fucking sucks. We’re going to get breakfast. Wanna come with?”

The offer surprised Adam. Why the hell would they want him to come with them? He’d just drag down the mood. Besides, he didn’t want to go with them. He wanted to go back upstairs to his room and wallow in self-pity.

But then he thought of Alex again. She’d tell him to snap the fuck out of it.

“Fuck it,” he decided. “Sure.”

“Cool,” Trent returned.

They all started toward the exit. Chuck fell in step beside him. “If you’re wondering where Alex is, she went to Kenny’s last night.”

Adam frowned down at his coffee cup. “Yeah. I know,” he said. That was another thing he didn’t want to think about.

* * * * * * * * * *

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!”

“Alex, don’t just mash buttons. You need to do combos.”

“But this—is—working!”

Alex stuck out her tongue in concentration as she furiously mashed the buttons on the game controller. She and Kenny had been playing this stupid Street Fighter game for forty minutes now, and she absolutely refused to quit until she won at least one—

“K.O.!”

She dropped the controller to her lap, defeated. Again. Kenny curled his lips into his mouth. He was trying desperately not to laugh.

“It’s not funny!” Alex scowled. She was far too competitive for her own good.

He gave her an apologetic grin. “I’m sorry, baby. That round was better.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not,” he assured. And then, “I think it was the first time you lasted past three minutes.”

“Kenny!” She gasped and grabbed a throw pillow from the couch. “I could say the same about you last night!”

She swung and whacked him with the pillow. “Whoa!” She reared back again, and he held up his arm to block the blow. “Uncalled for and untrue!”

She smirked. “Come on, you walked right into that.”

She swung again; but he caught the other end of the pillow and used it to pull her closer. “Oh yeah? Well I certainly didn’t hear you complain last night.”

Alex bit back a bashful grin. No, she definitely hadn’t complained last night. Last night had been… indescribable. Normally with Kenny it was a frantic rush to rip off clothes as they blindly stumbled and pushed each other to the nearest available surface. Rough and quick. Fucking. But last night had been different. He’d undressed her deliberately, like he wanted to memorize every curve of her body, every mark on her skin. He’d carried her to his bed and laid her down gently. He’d paid more attention to her needs than his, pleasuring her completely, slow and deep as she’d clutched at the sheets, his back, his hair, riding wave after wave until she couldn’t handle it anymore. He’d made love to her. She’d felt what she meant to him, undoubtedly. She’d felt it that morning when she’d woken up next to him and he’d told her to stay in bed while he made them breakfast. She felt it now. And, more than anything, she hoped that he felt what he meant to her, too. She didn’t want him to doubt that anymore.

“C’mere,” he gently said. He moved the pillow from in between them, and Alex snuggled against him as he wrapped his arm around her. “I’m sorry for teasing you,” he said with a kiss on her head. “I know video games aren’t your thing.”

She let out a sarcastic laugh. “And that’s not a deal-breaker?”

“What?” he shot, incredulous. “That’s ridiculous. Why would it be a deal-breaker?”

Alex’s face burned with embarrassment. She shouldn’t have said that; she didn’t know how to explain it without incriminating Adam. And she had to explain it now. “I don’t know,” she muttered. “It was one of the arguments people made back in June about why we shouldn’t be together, because I don’t play video games. It’s dumb; I shouldn’t have listened to it.”

There was a thick, contemplative pause. And then Kenny said, “And by ‘people’ I assume you mean ‘Adam.’”

Alex didn’t say anything in response. Her silence spoke volumes.

Kenny squeezed her closer. “Do you remember what you said to me at the hotel the night we first got back together? After your match against Callie and your fight with Trent?”

She looked up at him, her face a question mark. He went on.

“You said, ‘Fuck what anyone thinks. We worked things out and that’s all that matters.’ Well… now I’m saying the same thing to you.”

Alex glanced away, chewing anxiously on her lip. She did remember saying that now. She wished she would have taken her own advice.

“I couldn’t care less that video games aren’t your thing,” he assured her. “But you know they’re my thing, and you care enough about that to try. That means a lot to me. And besides… I actually think it’s adorable how frustrated you get.”

Warmth spread throughout Alex’s core. It meant a lot to him. He meant a lot to her. She needed him to know, once and for all. “Well, I care about the things you care about. Because I love you.”

She looked back up at him. He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He looked so happy. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

Kenny tilted her lips toward his and kissed her, soft and sweet. “I love you too, baby,” he said, and Alex’s heart was so full that it felt like it would burst out of her chest. They’d taken the long way around to get here, but they’d made it… and she finally felt like she could rest.

* * * * * * * * * *

Callie couldn’t get rid of that knot in her stomach. It had only grown larger and more solid after she’d run into Adam at Starbucks. And, after a while, the focus of her guilt had started to shift.

Matt had been an absolute sweetheart all afternoon. He’d taken her to the beach because he knew how much she loved it. They’d walked along the boardwalk and out onto the pier, and he’d held her close and smiled big as she’d taken their picture in the midst of the ocean. He’d even waited patiently as she’d gone through the shops picking out clothes and trying them on (she’d rewarded him by modeling a few bikinis). And now, as they sat in a cute little café getting something to eat, she couldn’t help but watch him with a smile on her lips as he looked over the menu, admiring his long lashes and hair, his beard and jawline. He made her heart flutter.

So then why couldn’t she stop thinking about Adam?

The waiter brought them their drinks. They put in their order, and as they handed him the menus, Matt told him it would all be on one check. Callie blushed as the waiter nodded and walked away.

“You don’t have to pay for me,” she said.

“I know, but I want to,” he returned. “Besides, I owe you for getting the coffee this morning.”

“This’ll be more than the coffee.”

“Are you sure about that? We got Starbucks.”

She laughed. “Fair point. Well, thank you.” She crossed her right knee over her left, and her foot bumped his leg underneath the table. “Sorry,” she muttered and shifted in her seat. He gave her a quizzical smile.

“Okay, what’s up?”

She took a sip of her iced tea. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve been tense all day. What’s on your mind?”

Callie grabbed her straw wrapper from the tabletop and nervously wound it around her finger. That was a loaded question—and she wasn’t sure she was ready to unload. “I know I’ve been tense,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t apologize; just talk to me. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything.”

“I do feel that way,” she returned. “It’s just…”

She trailed off. Matt finished her thought for her. “Adam?”

She wound the straw wrapper so tightly around her index finger that the tip turned red. “Is it that obvious?” she muttered.

He pulled his mouth to one side. “Well, you’ve seemed a little off ever since you ran into him this morning so… yeah.”

She frowned. “I’m sor—”

“Callie,” he gently cut her off. “Stop. Just talk to me. You’re not gonna hurt my feelings.”

Callie glanced down at her hands. On the contrary, her fear of hurting him was the exact reason she didn’t want to tell him what was on her mind. But Matt had been nothing but open and honest with her. She needed to do the same.

“I like this. A lot,” she said. “I like being with you, more than I expected to so soon. And I don’t regret anything. But… I’m not completely over Adam yet.”

She held her breath, bracing herself for his reaction, anticipating the worst—

“I don’t expect you to be.”

She breathed out. “What?”

Matt’s eyes were soft and understanding as he looked at her across the table. “I don’t expect you to be completely over Adam yet. It’s only been what, a week-and-a-half since you ended things with him? And in one of the most dramatic fashions possible,” he said with a smirk. “It’ll take time to get over that. Longer than a week-and-a-half.”

Callie’s brow furrowed. She was relieved, unbelievably so. But she was also confused. “But that doesn’t bother you? After we… you know.”

He smirked. “Not really. I mean, not to sound cocky, but I’m pretty sure you weren’t thinking about him last night or this morning.”

Her cheeks colored and she rolled her eyes. “You absolutely meant to sound cocky.”

Matt’s grin widened. He knew he had, too. “But no, it doesn’t bother me,” he assured. “I like you, Callie. A part of me always has, even when you were with Hangman. But I know this has all happened pretty fast, and I don’t want to push you. So as long as you’re honest with me about what you’re feeling and what you want, we’ll be good.”

Callie’s heart fluttered again. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve someone as sweet and understanding as Matt. But she did know she didn’t want to lose him. “Okay. I can do that,” she said; and as he smiled at her, she did her best to bury the thought of Adam’s kiss in the back of consciousness.

* * * * * * * * * *

Saturday... All Out

Alex was a bundle of nervous energy as Kenny pulled up to Daily’s Place Saturday afternoon. Today was the day: All Out. Her anxiety over it hadn’t let her get a wink of sleep last night, so much so that she worried she’d affected Kenny’s sleep with all her tossing and turning. But as they got out of his car and grabbed their suitcases from the trunk, he looked like his only concern was her.

“Are you alright?” He caught her hand in his. “You’ve been quiet all day.”

She tried to nod. “Yeah. I’m just…” she trailed off and changed her mind. “No. I’m nervous about your match. And about seeing the boys.”

“Don’t be nervous about the match,” he said with a gentle squeeze of her hand. “That’s for me to worry about. And why are you nervous about seeing your friends?”

Alex frowned. She couldn’t help but notice how he’d said the match was for him to worry about—not him and Adam. But she tried not to dwell on it. “Because I’m nervous I’ll walk in there and it’ll just be a repeat of three months ago. I’m sick of everyone trying to tell me what’s best for me.”

She glanced back at the arena, worry darkening her eyes. None of the boys had seemed thrilled when she’d told them she was leaving with Kenny on Wednesday, but they hadn’t put up any arguments, either. She hoped they hadn’t saved it for today.

Kenny let go of her hand and brought his up to cup either side of her face. She looked up into his eyes, gripping his wrists as he held her. “Remember what I told you?”

Her brow puckered. “Fuck what anyone thinks?”

“Fuck what anyone thinks,” he repeated.

She pressed her fingers into his skin. “I care what they think, Kenny. They’re my best friends.”

“I know.” He let out a breath and touched his lips to her forehead. “And because they’re your best friends, they should support you when you’re happy. Right?”

She frowned again. “You would think so.”

“Then don’t be nervous,” he said with another kiss on her forehead. He pulled back and looked down at her. “I’m sure it won’t be a repeat of three months ago. And if it is… it’s their problem, not yours.”

Alex lifted her heels off the ground and kissed him. “You’re right,” she breathed. “But speaking of your friends… don’t take it personally if I go out of my way to avoid Matt.”

“I’ll talk to Matt,” he returned. “Don’t worry about him, either. He’ll come around.”

She gave him a small, grateful grin. But she wouldn’t hold her breath on Matt coming around.

He shut the trunk and locked the car, and then he took her hand again, interlacing their fingers as they walked into the arena. And Alex realized, with some surprise, that she didn’t care if anyone saw them. She was with Kenny; he was with her. She didn’t want to hide that.

But they had to part ways once they got to the locker rooms. They shared a lingering kiss as Alex told him she’d see him later—she knew he’d be busy until after the show was over—and then she continued down the hall toward the Best Friends locker room. She drew in a deep breath through her nose, let it out through her mouth. “There’s nothing to be nervous about, Alex,” she said to herself. “They’re your best friends.” She steeled herself when she arrived at the door, pushed her way inside. Chuck, Trent, and Orange were all already there—and so was Adam.

She stopped just inside the entrance, her eyes wide and surprised. “Oh! Hey. I wasn’t expecting to see you in here.”

Adam looked even more caught off-guard to see her than she did him. “Yeah… Chuck said I could share with y’all. It’s a full house tonight and I don’t really have anywhere else to go because of… you know.”

She nodded. “Yeah. Of course.” She pulled her suitcase toward a cubby, doing her best to seem unbothered. But seeing Adam had thrown her off more than she’d expected it would. The text he’d sent her Wednesday night flashed in her mind. Hey, are you at the hotel? She’d thought about it more than she cared to admit over the last two-and-a-half days. Prior to two weeks ago, she wouldn’t have thought much of it at all. But now that she knew how he felt, she couldn’t help but wonder what his intentions had been.

“Hangy’s been hangin’ with us the last few days,” Chuck stated as she sat down. “Cowpals is a thing now.”

“It’s not a thing,” Adam returned. Chuck glared at him.

“Just let it happen, Adam!”

He grinned. So did Alex. “I agree with Chuck,” she said. She exchanged a glance with Adam as she unzipped her suitcase—a feeling. They’d always have each other’s back, no matter the circumstances.

“So do I,” Trent piped up. He looked at Alex. “All we were missing was you.”

He didn’t say it negatively. In fact, it was quite the opposite. We missed you. That was what she felt from it. Warmth.

“Well, I’m here now,” she smiled, and her anxiety loosened its grip when he smiled back. They were her best friends. Nothing would change that.

* * * * * * * * * *

Callie had never spent much time in the EVP room. But now here she was, sitting on the couch next to Matt, watching as the All Out Buy In pre-show got underway. It was nice. She could get used to it.

“So are you gonna come out with us for our match orrrr…?”

She shot Matt a look. “I’m not even gonna justify that with a response.”

A corner of his mouth quirked up. “Why not?”

Her eyebrows arched. “Seriously? I’m not accompanying you for your match, Matt. That’s just asking for trouble.”

“Trouble from who? Everyone’s about to find out that we’re wrestling together against Trent and Alex next week. What’s the difference?”

Callie looked down to pick at a loose string on her jeans. He wasn’t wrong—Tony had made the mixed tag match official earlier that afternoon, and Callie wouldn’t be surprised if the commentators mentioned it during the show tonight. But there was a difference between wrestling a match with Matt next week and accompanying the Young Bucks for their match against Jurassic Express. There was a big difference.

“There’s a difference, and you know there is,” she softly insisted. “I’m not going out there with you.”

She kept her gaze turned anxiously away from him. Ever since their talk at that little café two days ago, a nagging voice in the back of her head had kept worrying that, even though Matt had said he didn’t want to push her, he would only wait so long for her to get over Adam. Now, she worried he’d take her resistance the wrong way. But she had her reasons—completely valid reasons. She didn’t want people to assume things about their relationship; she didn’t want to invite their criticism and judgment. But, more than that, she didn’t want to rub her budding relationship with Matt in Adam’s face—and especially not tonight. He had a tag title match he needed to focus on tonight.

“Callie,” Matt said. The soft urgency in his voice beckoned her to look at him. “It’s fine. I was only joking.”

She gave him a tight smile. She believed him… but part of her still worried.

He leaned over and gave her a kiss. “Speaking of the match… I should go get ready. You can hang out here if you want.”

Her brow furrowed at him as he got up from the couch. “By myself? I’m not an EVP.”

“No… but you’re sleeping with one.”

He smirked. She scowled. He let out a laugh and bent over to give her another kiss. “I’ll let you know when it’s safe to come back to the locker room. I’m sure Nick’s changing now, too.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

He gave her a wink and went out the door. And as it clicked shut behind him, that little voice in the back of her head nagged at her again.

* * * * * * * * * *

There was an undeniable electricity in the air—a big fight feel. Because it was a big fight: Kenny Omega and Hangman Adam Page vs. FTR for the AEW World Tag Team Championship. And Alex was almost certain she was more nervous than the people who were actually fighting.

Her hands were clammy as she walked through the halls to the Best Friends locker room. She wanted to walk with Adam to meet Kenny, so she could wish them both good luck before they headed to Gorilla. She wanted to stay out of their way as much as possible. She prayed they were on the same page tonight.

She entered the locker room just as Adam stood from his seat. He glanced at her as he grabbed his championship. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Just thought I’d go with you to meet Kenny,” she answered. She curiously looked him over. He was wearing black and white tights designed to look like chaps instead of his usual trunks. “New gear?”

He glanced down at himself and shrugged. “Yeah. Big pay-per-view match, I figured why not.”

She nodded. “I like it.”

A smile pulled at his lips. But it disappeared fast. “Well, I was just about to head to his locker room.”

She nodded again, and they went back out the door. She saw him look at her out of the corner of her eye as they walked. “Are you watching with the guys?” he asked.

“Yeah. They’re in one of the lounges with Jurassic Express and a few others.” She drew in a breath. “I might see if I can get a drink before I head back there.”

He gave a wry laugh. “That nervous?”

She looked up at him. “Aren’t you?”

His eyes turned contemplative. “I’m nervous, yeah. But not necessarily about losing the titles.”

Alex frowned. She wasn’t as nervous about them losing the titles as she was about other things, either.

They arrived at The Elite’s locker room. Adam raised a fist and knocked. Half a minute passed before Kenny answered, dressed in his usual gear, his AEW Tag Team Championship already around his waist. He smiled when he saw Alex.

“Hey. You coming up there with us?”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t want to get in your way. I just wanted to wish you good luck before you went up there.”

He flashed a cocky grin. “I don’t need it.”

Alex rolled her eyes. I—not we. Again. She tried to ignore it just like she had earlier. “Well, kick their asses, then.” She reached up and kissed him, tender but quick. She didn’t want to do too much in front of Adam. Kenny smirked again as she pulled away.

“You know I will.”

She gave him a nervous smile, and then she turned to Adam. She stood on her toes and gave him a hug. He momentarily stiffened before he returned it. “Good luck,” she said.

“Thanks.”

She unwound her arms from around him and stepped back. “I’ll see you after,” she said to Kenny, and with a parting glance she retreated back down the hall, her stomach in knots. She half-wanted to find somewhere to watch the match alone, in the interest of self-preservation. Then again, maybe she wouldn’t take it so hard if she watched with her friends. Either way, she kept walking toward the lounge; and when she arrived and saw Trent opening up a bottle of red wine, she made a beeline for him.

“Wine?” she charged. Alcohol was alcohol, but still.

He gave her a look. “We’re classy, Alex. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”

“A few hundred more,” she quipped. It earned a grin. He grabbed a glass and gave her a healthy pour. She took a long sip as she moved to one of the couches and sat down next to Chuck. He gave her a sympathetic smile.

“How you feeling?”

She laughed into her glass. “Like I’m gonna need a whole bottle to myself.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Alex had been joking—but the more she watched, the more she thought she probably would need a whole bottle to herself to get through this match.

Every minute brought with it a fresh wave of anxiety. Her entire body had tensed when the match had nearly started with Kenny and Cash, only for her heart to drop into her stomach when Adam had called to start it off instead, asking Kenny, “Do you trust me?” She didn’t know what Kenny had said in return—his back had been to the camera. When the match finally got underway, Adam had locked up with Cash like he wanted to murder him. He’d gone after him so aggressively that Dax had jumped in to intervene, and then Kenny had, too, obviously worried that Adam’s emotions were running away with him. He was proven right when Adam nearly swung on him. They’d worked through it… but Dax and Cash were firing on all cylinders. They’d managed to isolate Adam first and then Kenny, punishing them each in turn. And even when Adam and Kenny were able to pick up the pace and work together, it had been painfully obvious over the last fifteen minutes that, despite being the champions, they weren’t the tag team specialists in the match. FTR were.

Kenny and Cash were the legal men now. Adam was somewhere outside the ring, out of commission after Cash had shoved him off the ring apron and sent him flying into the guard railing. Kenny had hit a Tiger Driver ’98 and gone for the cover, but Cash had kicked out at two and dragged himself to the ropes. But Kenny didn’t give him much of a chance to recoup. He charged at the opposite ropes, rebounded, and nailed Cash with a V-Trigger to the side of the head. Then he picked him up on his shoulders. He was setting up the One-Winged Angel. Alex held her breath and grabbed Chuck’s knee—but Cash quickly got out of his hold.

“You want a refill?” Chuck asked.

She just nodded and handed him her glass, keeping her eyes glued on the TV. Cash shoved Kenny into the corner and charged, but Kenny dodged and reversed, pushing Cash into the corner. Dax made a hot tag. Kenny charged again, going for another V-Trigger—but Cash moved out of the way at the last second. Kenny’s knee rammed hard into the turnbuckle.

“Fuck,” Alex cursed under breath.

Chuck returned with her wine. She thanked him and immediately took a drink; and then nearly choked on it when she saw Cash swing Kenny’s leg through the ropes and Dax grab his ankle for a vicious dragon screw leg whip.

“You alright?” Chuck asked.

Alex nodded even though she wasn’t. Cash spun Kenny around and hit another dragon screw. And then Dax slid into the ring and latched on an inverted figure four leg lock.

“Shit,” Trent said from the other side of Chuck. Chuck elbowed him. Alex’s stomach dropped. That was the exact move Dax had used on Chuck to beat Best Friends in the tag team gauntlet match.

Dax grabbed the ropes for leverage, but the referee didn’t see it. Kenny did his best to stay up on his shoulder in order to keep the pressure off his knee. But he still looked like he was agony.

“And remember, this is how they made Chuck Taylor tap out in order to punch their ticket into this match,” Excalibur commented.

“Thanks for the reminder, Excalibur!” Chuck shouted at the TV, causing a few people in the room to laugh. Alex wasn’t one of them. She didn’t breathe again until Kenny managed to reach the ropes, forcing Dax to break the hold.

Kenny laid on the mat, nursing his knee—but Dax got right back on him. He grabbed his leg and dropped a few elbows on his knee before he put all his bodyweight on his thigh and bent Kenny’s leg at an unnatural angle around his torso. Kenny grabbed at his head, his arm, anything to try to get out of the hold; but Dax just got up, dragged him to the ropes, draped his ankle across it, and smashed himself down hard onto his leg. Alex worried at her lip. Adam was back up on the ring apron now, but Kenny was nowhere near him.

Dax tagged in Cash. Cash jumped to the floor and held Kenny’s ankle across the rope so that Dax could throw all his bodyweight down onto his leg one more time before they switched. He slid into the ring and stomped Kenny’s head, making Alex scowl; but then Kenny sat up and rolled under the ropes to the floor. He limped over to the guard railing and latched onto it, doing his best to keep himself upright.

Alex felt her chest start to tighten. She felt so helpless. All she could do was take another drink.

* * * * * * * * * *

Callie was starting to regret watching the tag title match with Matt and Nick. They were all cheering for the same team—but it was obvious that Matt and Nick expected Kenny to do all the work. It irked her. So when Adam had finally tagged in and started clearing house, she couldn’t help but feel a little vindicated.

She nervously watched as he ascended a turnbuckle, knowing immediately that he was going for a moonsault. She both loved and hated that move; she loved seeing it, but it always scared her when he did it. But then, he didn’t do a moonsault. Tully urged Cash and Dax to come to the other side of the turnbuckle—and so Adam pivoted and did a senton instead.

“Tremendous improvisation there by Hangman Adam Page,” Excalibur stated. Callie smiled to herself. But Matt pursed his lips.

“More like unnecessary risk,” he commented.

It was a struggle for Callie not to roll her eyes. Matt and Nick were arguably the biggest daredevils in the entire company. Either of them would have done the same exact thing.

Back in the ring, Adam went for the cover on Cash—but he kicked out at two. After they both got to their feet, they traded blows in the middle of the ring before Cash attempted another swinging DDT; Dax made another blind tag as he did. But Adam blocked the move and hit Dax with a back elbow, knocking him to the floor. He and Cash jockeyed for position until Adam gained control and drove him toward the ropes; but Dax hopped back up onto the apron and hit Adam with a forearm. He dove into the ring and covered him. Adam kicked out at two.

“They’re deadly with those blind tags, man,” Nick said.

Both Matt and Callie kept quiet as they watched Cash and Dax ascend the turnbuckles. They jumped simultaneously and hit Adam with tandem diving headbutts. Cash was the legal man again and he hooked Adam’s leg. That time, Kenny dove in and broke up the pin attempt. Callie half-expected a smart-ass comment from Matt. Thankfully, he didn’t make one.

Kenny and Dax were battling on the ring apron now. Each of them tried to suplex the other, but each attempt was blocked, until Dax ended up back inside the ring, his head still locked underneath Kenny’s arm and vice versa. But then, suddenly, Cash charged and launched himself over the ropes and flipped to the floor. He grabbed Kenny and picked him up on his shoulders, and Dax jumped off the ring apron and hit him with a diving bulldog to the floor.

Matt and Nick expelled twin breaths of exasperation. Callie’s mouth went dry. She wiped her hands on her jeans and got up from the couch to cross the room and grab a water bottle from the mini fridge. She opened it and took a long gulp. By the time she looked back at the TV, Cash was back in the ring with Adam. Adam tried to hit him with a short-arm lariat, but Cash reversed it and landed a forearm to the back of the head. Then he lifted Adam up on his shoulders. He walked over to FTR’s corner and tagged in Dax. Dax climbed the turnbuckle and hit Adam with a diving bulldog to match Kenny’s. He went for yet another cover, but Adam powered out.

“Hangman needs to tag in Kenny,” Matt said.

Callie shot him a look. “Kenny’s not even in their corner!” she argued, motioning to where he’d collapsed against the ring apron. Matt ignored her.

Dax pulled Adam up by the hair and reached out to tag in Cash. Cash climbed the turnbuckle again—but Kenny jumped up onto the apron and pushed him off balance. Meanwhile in the ring, Adam reversed Dax’s hold and dumped him over the ropes onto the floor. Cash tried to get back into position atop the turnbuckle; but before he could, Adam jumped up onto the second rope, picked him up, and hit a lungbuster suplex into the middle of the ring. Callie held her breath as he went for the pin—but Cash somehow managed to kick out.

“Fuck,” she breathed. She walked over to the couch and sat back down next to Matt, further away than she’d been before.

Kenny yelled something at Adam from outside the ring. Adam beckoned him. “Last Call!” he shouted. Callie tensed. She didn’t have a good feeling about this.

Kenny got into the ring while Adam went out onto the ring apron. Cash struggled to get up from his knees in the middle of the canvas. Kenny picked him up by his hair and held him by the arms. Adam flipped over the ropes and careened toward them, on-target for a hard Buckshot Lariat—but Cash ducked. Callie’s hand flew to her mouth; he’d nearly hit Kenny instead. And then, disaster. Adam grabbed Cash. Kenny charged, aiming to land a V-Trigger. But Cash pulled free at the last second, and Kenny’s knee collided with Adam’s jaw with an audible smack!

“Fuck!” Matt cursed.

Kenny tried to catch Adam, but Cash hit him with a chop block to the back of his injured knee and they both fell to the Matt. Kenny reached out and grabbed ahold of the fringe on Adam’s tights, pulling and jerking, trying to revive him. When that didn’t work, he smacked his leg. But Adam was completely out of it.

Cash pulled Adam away from Kenny and then hit Kenny with a basement dropkick, sending him rolling into the corner. He jumped up and tagged in Dax. Dax climbed the turnbuckle while Cash picked up Adam, upside down. Dax jumped, and they hit Adam with a perfect Mind Breaker. Dax went for the pin, grinning wickedly at Kenny as he tried to crawl toward him. He anticipated a three-count.

But Adam got his shoulder up at two.

“Holy shit,” Nick leaned eagerly forward on his knees. Matt remained quiet.

But Cash and Dax didn’t waste any time. Cash battled Kenny and shoved him under the ropes to the floor while Dax dragged Adam back onto his feet. Cash tagged in and ascended the turnbuckle. Dax picked up Adam. Cash jumped, delivering another Mind Breaker. He pinned Adam. Dax intercepted Kenny as he tried to dive through the ropes, but he didn’t need to. That time, Adam didn’t kick out.

Disbelief and dread consumed Callie as FTR’s music started to play. The crowd was mostly silent as Justin Roberts’s voice echoed throughout the arena. “The winners of this match, and new AEW World Tag Team Champions: F—T—R!”

Matt pushed himself up. “Come on, let’s go,” he said to Nick.

Callie looked up at him in confusion. “What’re you gonna do?”

He shot her a look over his shoulder. “Try to talk Kenny down,” he returned, and then they both exited, leaving her alone in the locker room.

She stared at the door, stunned, unsure what to do. She looked back at the TV. FTR hoisted the titles high above their heads while Tully brought them two cans of beer. She expected them to crack them open and drink in celebration—but they didn’t. Instead, they set the beers next to Adam, who still laid clutching his head on the mat, as if to toast him. Thanks, bud, we couldn’t have done it without you.

She kept watching as they continued to celebrate, waiting for Matt and Nick to burst out from the tunnels. But they never did. Soon, FTR left, and the former champions were left alone. Adam leaned against the ropes, still not quite all there—and Kenny stood in the middle of the ring, a small folding table in his hands.

Callie’s breath hitched in her throat. Kenny held the table up, gripping it hard, an angry, contemplative look in his eyes. Seconds passed like minutes. And then, he tossed the table aside. Relief flooded her; but it was premature. Adam stumbled toward Kenny, and instead of catching him, Kenny moved out of the way and let him collapse face-first to the mat like a felled tree.

She would have preferred that he hit him with the table.

“Where the fuck are Matt and Nick?” she said out loud. Kenny gazed down at Adam’s prone form, a look of quiet disgust on his face. He exited the ring and stalked up the entrance ramp. He paused on the stage to give Adam one last hard look, and then he turned and walked through the tunnel.

The camera stayed on him as he moved swiftly through Gorilla and toward backstage. Matt and Nick stood waiting for him in the interview area. Kenny started yelling.

“Did you see that? Did you see that there? After everything I did!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Matt tried to say; but Kenny pushed through them and kept walking.

“I’m done. We’re done. Let’s go.”

Callie’s eyes widened as she continued to watch. Matt turned and followed after Kenny without hesitation. Nick was more hesitant, but he followed, too.

Kenny and Matt continued to talk, but Callie couldn’t understand what they were saying as the commentators tried to figure out what was happening. They moved into the parking lot and Kenny pointed toward a waiting SUV. “I’m done. Are you guys coming with me?”

“Oh fuck no,” Callie muttered.

Matt continued to try to talk him down, but he didn’t try to stop him from walking. “Let’s sit down and talk about what’s going on right now. I know it’s…” he trailed off, unsure what to say.

“It’s time for a clean split… a clean break,” Kenny said. “Let’s go back to the way things were.”

They reached the SUV. He finally stopped and looked back at Matt and Nick. “Are you coming with me or not? It’s up to you—you can’t go back on this.”

Neither of them answered. Kenny didn’t have the patience for it.

“Okay, think about it—think about it. I’ll see you guys.” He looked at the driver. “Get in the car! We’re going,” he ordered. And then he got in the backseat of the SUV, slammed the door, and drove off, leaving Matt and Nick—and everyone else—stunned and confused.

* * * * * * * * * *

Alex walked on shaky legs through the hotel lobby, pulling her suitcase behind her. She reached the elevators and punched the up button, angry. She felt like a tea kettle ready to burst; and, honestly, she was afraid of what she might do when she saw Kenny.

She’d left the arena as quickly as she could after the end of the tag match. Gone back to the locker room, packed up her shit, and called an Uber, apologizing to Orange on the way out for not staying for his match against Chris Jericho. There was no way she could stay there a second longer after what Kenny had done.

The elevator carried her to their floor. He’d booked the same room he always did. She stepped off the elevator and walked swiftly down the hall. When she reached the room, she banged hard on the door. Kenny answered a few seconds later, apparently fresh out of the shower, wearing just a pair of gym shorts.

“Hey, baby,” he said—but Alex pushed past him into the room. He shut the door and followed her inside. “Look, I’m sorry for—"

Crack!

Alex whirled around and slapped him hard across the face, cutting him off mid-sentence. She’d hit him hard enough that it turned his head, hard enough that her hand immediately stung. Kenny touched his fingers to his face. He gave a short, wry laugh.

“I guess I deserve that.”

“You’re fucking right you do,” she bit. “You lied to me, Kenny. You told me you would fix things with Adam and you just left him out there. You left the whole fucking arena.”

He rolled his eyes. Alex’s hand itched to slap him again. “Well what would you have liked me to do, Alex?” he asked. “Hm? Should I have caught him and told him that everything would be alright? Should I have said, ‘Don’t worry, we’ll get the titles back, bud!’ Is that what I should’ve done?”

“You shouldn’t have just left him and run out of the arena!”

“Well I did, because I’m done with him!”

Alex went momentarily dizzy. “What?” she breathed. “How can you say—”

“Because I’m done with being a tag team wrestler, Alex!” he proclaimed. “I’m done with being a drunken cowboy’s sidekick! I don’t want that! That’s not who I am! That’s not what I came to AEW to do! I don’t need to tell you that! You know that.”

He raked a hand through his hair, frustrated. Alex could feel it radiating off of him like heat. It shocked her, but she knew she needed to just listen.

“It was fun with Hangman while it lasted,” he went on. “I’m glad we got to be tag team champions together; I am. But I’m past that now. It’s time for me to be Kenny Omega now. It’s time for me to be the guy that everyone’s wanted and expected from day one of Dynamite.”

Alex scoffed. “What guy? The Cleaner?”

“Yeah,” he bluntly returned. “Exactly that guy. Isn’t that the guy you wanted when we first got involved? The Cleaner?”

Her breath hitched in her throat. There was nothing she could say to that—it was true. She’d never met Kenny prior to AEW. She just knew him as most of the world did: The Best Bout Machine, the leader of Bullet Club, the Cleaner, Kenny-fucking-Omega. His reputation preceded him. It intrigued her. It attracted her. It made her want to get to know him once she had the chance. And then she fell in love with him, the real him. But the thought of him being that guy in AEW… with her… she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that that intrigued her, too.

He stepped closer. Alex didn’t move. He took her by the hips and pulled her against him; a pleasant tingle danced up her spine at his touch. As upset with him as she was, she couldn’t help the way her body reacted to him.

“I know you’re angry,” he said, his voice softening. “And I’m sorry it happened this way… but we both know it would’ve happened eventually. I can’t keep tagging with Adam to get what I want. And what I want is the AEW World Championship… and you by my side when I get it.”

Alex’s stomach did a flip. But her brow lowered, stubborn. “And what makes you think I want to be by your side when you get it?”

He gave a breathy laugh. “Come on, don’t be ridiculous. You know you’re my girl.”

There it was again, that cocky grin. But Alex didn’t argue or pull away. She just gazed up at him, her chest rising and falling with her breath, heart racing. She wanted to believe he was wrong; but she knew he wasn’t. She knew she’d go around and around this carousel with Kenny until it made her sick. He pushed her to the edge; he drove her insane; he made her do things that she never thought she’d do in a million lifetimes. He was exhilarating and infuriating and terrifying and intoxicating all at once. And every time she thought she’d sobered up she would always fall right back into him. It might take a week, or a month, or a year—but it was inevitable.

“Aren’t you, baby?” He cupped her jaw in his hand. She leaned into his touch. He ran his thumb over her mouth. Her eyes fell closed, kissing it, and then he parted her lips and slipped it inside her mouth. She sucked as he moved it in and out, slow. She bit down gently and opened her eyes. He looked like he wanted to ravage her—and she wanted to let him.

He pulled his thumb from her mouth and picked her up. She wrapped her legs tight around his waist and kissed him as he walked her blindly to the bed, grabbing at his curls, needing to taste him, feel him, get lost in him. She was still upset with him for what he’d done to Adam; of course she was. But she was in love with him. She couldn’t help that.

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