#alfred pennyworth style anger management

[remosdeerica]

Tim: *horrified gasp*

Tim: Oh no.

Kon: What?

Tim: Damian. He's Crocheting.

Kon: Huh... I didn't know he could crochet. That's cool.

Tim: No. This is bad. Damian only crochet when he's feeling especially murderous.

Jon: I thought he knit when he's feeling murderous?

Tim: No, he knits when he's angry. This is very different.

Kon: Oh, look. Now he's sewing.

Tim: *terrified screams*

[avaritia-apotheosis]

Phantom Children Ch. 6

Hi guys! I'm back <3 (also, I'm currently looking for alpha/beta readers for Phantom Children, so if you're interested, feel free to shoot me a message!)

In Which: Danny Attempts to get Answers, Bruce Learns, and Dick Finally Learns What's Inside the Door that Doesn't Exist

AO3 | Prologue | 5 | [ 6 ] | 7

DANNY IS KNOCKED DOWN three, four, eight times on the ice. Each time made his back ache, his bones bruised and tired, and his mind burning with embarrassment and a drive to lash out. But each time he gets back up. Each time he lasts a little bit longer against Talia.

The ice still shifts, cracks and rumbles with every wrong move. Danny learned to roll with it. Move on light feet but attack with a firm stance, gauge which parts of the ice are stable and which should be avoided. Multi-tasking has never been Danny’s strong suit, but he’s good at learning and learning quickly.

Talia corrected his form as much as she beat him down. Exploited every one of his openings until he learned to defend them and praised him whenever he managed to pull one over her. The League’s martial arts was the holy amalgamation between almost every single fighting style there is, mashed and refined to perfection to become almost unpredictable to the untrained. A vast improvement to Danny’s previous ‘fuck around and see what works’ brawling and had the added benefit of meshing together with his spontaneity.

“You are doing well, Daniel,” Talia said as she sheathed her sword, hand resting just above her hip. “You have improved greatly in such a short time, as I have expected.”

It takes every ounce of Danny’s superhuman energy to not collapse to his knees, his every breath a ragged shudder as he tries to get his breathing under control. “Still can’t beat you, though.”

“Very few can boast that feat.”

“I’m not exactly sure if that’s supposed to make me feel any better or not. Do I get my prize at least?”

Tahlia tossed her braid over one shoulder with a laugh. “Come, then, let us rest in the caves. The sun is to set soon and we must make camp before we freeze to death.”

“Hypothermia is so last season. I’m way too cool for that.”

He didn’t know whether to be disappointed that Tahlia didn’t react to his pun. It was pretty clever, in his opinion.

('Puns are the lowest form of comedy,' said mind-Jazz.

Says the one who named the Box Ghost the ‘Crate Creep.’

'That’s alliteration, not a pun.')

It was kind of pathetic that even his mind-version of Jazz was smarter than him.

“What would you like to know first?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Sarcasm dripped from Danny’s voice. He sheathed his sword and let it hang loose at his side. “Maybe how old this mysterious brother of mine is?” Ancients, his life was weird enough already, it wasn’t supposed to sound like the B-plot to a bad soap opera.

“Damian is younger than you by a little over four years. He will turn eleven this year.”

“Huh. Never been an older brother before.”

“Perhaps you might have been, if circumstances had been different.”

Cryptic. Great. Danny stepped over a particularly large crack in the ice and scampered over to solid ground. “You gotta give me more than that. What’s he like?”

“Prideful,” she said. “But skilled enough to warrant it. He was raised like a prince—as how you should have been.”

“And he lives with…our dad?”

“Yes. In America.” The cave was deep enough to shield them from the worst of the eventual mountain winds. Tahlia had already started building a campfire with equipment from her knapsack, embers eating away and growing into a steady flame. He sat down, legs crossed, beside the fire, hands tucked beneath his armpits.

He bit his lip, a question forming in his mind. “Do…do we have the same dad?”

Tahlia looked up at him. “Of course. Only your father has had the privilege of being called my beloved, and only he is worthy enough to have sired my children.”

Once night fell, it fell quickly. Blanketing as far as Danny could see from the mouth of the cave in a thick darkness. Snow fell from the skies in thick tufts and covered their footsteps.

“Does he—do they know about me?”

“No, they do not.”

“And you probably aren’t going to tell them anything about me, if you could help it.”

“That is very perceptive of you, habeebi.”

“You won’t tell me anything more about them, will you?”

“In due time, I will.”

Danny blew part of his fringe away from his face. Figures.

Despite the ever-present niggling at the back of his mind, Bruce had yet to see what was in the flash drive. The weeks since his strange meeting with Vlad Masters suddenly exploded with criminal activity with the recent breakout in Arkham and the brewings of another gang war in the shadows of Gotham’s paved streets. It was all hands-on deck. And Bruce, whether as Batman or Wayne, had always prioritized Gotham and its citizens over anything else.

The flash drive remained on his person despite the crisis, tucked away in one of the sturdier compartments of his utility belt to prevent the data inside from becoming damaged. Sometimes he found his hands gravitating towards it, fingers brushing against the button that would release the mystery from its confines before he realized what he was doing and steeled himself. Hands fisted to his side and attention forcibly directed elsewhere.

Eventually, the rogues were placed back into Arkham, and Gotham let out a shuddered breath of relief as it remained standing for another day.

Most of the family were out on a light patrol, cleaning up the remains of the breakout and helping where they can. Jason and Dick bickering over the comms whilst Barbara laughed in her clocktower.

(“It’s not that bad.”

"‘It’s not that bad’—shut the fuck up.” Jason spat. Bruce could hear him revving his bike. “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that? Certified Grade A idiot. B’s gonna kill you.”

He could hear Dick roll his eyes. “Sure, pile it all on, Jaybird. Blame the victim.”

"It was your fault.”

“It’s not my fault I didn’t see it there!”

"You tripped and got a concussion. From a stick. A. Stick.”

“Can we please just leave that out of the report?” Dick groaned. Barbara laughed. “Oh god.”

“Richard motherfucking John Grayson. I swear if you vomit on me then—”

“I’m not gonna vomit on you! You just turned the corner a little too fast. It’s nice to see you care though.”

"Fuck no, I just don’t wanna smell like regurgitated cereal.”)

Damian was benched from a patrol. Their last conflict with Poison Ivy ended with Damian sticking a bad landing and twisting his ankle. He dealt with it with as much grace as can be expected. Meaning that he spent the last few days sulking as he caught up on his missed schoolwork and shooting daggers at everyone else who came back from patrol.

Bruce flicked the flash drive open and plugged it into the computer. The flash drive contained only a single folder dated six months ago.

He clicked it, and a news headline popped up.

LOCAL TEEN DIES AFTER DRIVING OFF CLIFF

Beneath it, a picture. Blue eyes. Black hair. A familiar face.

Blood pounded in Bruce’s ears. He could hear nothing except a sharp gasp from Damian behind him.

When Dick and Jason arrived at the batcave, it was to an eerie silence. Not that it was usually loud, only that Bruce spent most of his free time down in the cave and Dick had come to expect hearing some signs of him around. Typing on keys, the clicking of a mouse, the heavy thuds of a fist meeting a punching bag or a training dummy, etcetera, etcetera. Or maybe even Alfred cleaning up around the cave, feeding the bats, or restocking their med bay.

(Dick, it turned out, didn’t have a concussion. Probably. Not a severe one anyway. What mattered most was that he managed to convince Jason to have dinner at the Manor. Alfred was making a tarte tatin for dessert tonight and those were absolutely to die for. )

One of Tim’s cases took him to the other side of Gotham. The only person in the cave was Damian, who was staring agape at the batcomputer.

“Why the hell is the demon spawn looking at old pictures of Bruce? We get it. They look alike.

“Uh, Dami? What’s up?”

Damian snapped his mouth shut. “I believe it might be best if you asked father that, Grayson.” Despite his clipped tone, there seemed to be little anger in his voice. His proud shoulders were hunched over on the chair, eyes trained on his lap.

He looked so small.

Damian clucked his tongue. “He’s upstairs, if you need him. So is Pennyworth.”

Dick shot a glance at Jason who raised his hands in mock surrender. “You’re up golden boy. Whatever the fuck the old man’s problem is this time, I’m not dealing with it.”

Dick sighed. “Fine.”

There was a door in Wayne Manor that didn’t exist.

When Dick was a child and recently adopted by Bruce Wayne, one of the first things he did was explore the manor. It’s the prerogative of every child that somehow found themselves in a large mansion—even more so given the castle-like exteriors of Wayne Manor. All castles have secret passages, and if the Batcave lay in the subterranean depths below, then surely the manor proper must have its own secrets.

Dick would tumble and cartwheel along the hallways, opening any and every single door he came across. A lot of them were just empty bedrooms or unused parlors and sitting rooms; the furniture covered by white sheets to keep the dust away. Alfred was probably magic, but even he can’t keep the entirety of the manor dust free.

The majority of the unused rooms were unlocked.

Except for one.

It was a room in the west wing, on the second floor. A couple doors down from where Bruce’s and Dick’s were. Why it was locked, Dick never found out. But he was curious since it was the only room on that floor that remained shut.

When he asked Alfred about it, the old butler only said that it was an unused storage room they preferred to keep locked just in case. When he asked Bruce about it, he’d be quick to change the subject. Usually something Batman related. Which, well, always worked, because it was Batman related. And Dick, young and spry and itching to fly under Batman’s wings, would quickly forget about that curious little mystery in favor of punching bad guys in the face and flipping over rooftops.

At some point that locked door quietly disappeared, leaving a blank expanse of wallpaper and a decorative vase where it once stood. It was never brought up again. And Dick slowly forgot that it was ever there in the first place.

Until now.

The wooden table and vase were shoved off to the side. Wallpaper sliced away to reveal the lines of a doorway. The door, covered in its faint damask wallpaper, was kicked open, the wood around the bolt splintered and cracked. He could hear voices—Alfred’s and Bruce’s—speaking softly on the other side.

He pressed his back against the wall and kept his breathing quiet.

“Three times, Alfred.” Bruce’s voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. “Three times she’s done this to me.”

“Master Bruce…”

“I don’t—I don’t understand why—” Bruce choked, swallowing a shuddered breath. “Damian, I can understand. Jason, I can too. But…This? I—” Bruce suddenly quieted. Dick knew the jig was up.

He unlatched himself from the wall and slowly slid through the once-hidden-door, a hand kept on the frame. “Um. Hi, Bruce? Alfred?” The words fell flat, stilted. Dick winced as he said them. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but, uh…” He trailed off the second he registered what was in the room.

It was large, as so many rooms in the manor were. The room was covered in peeling green wallpaper with faded pictures of baby deer and owls and other woodland creatures prancing about. There was a dresser on one wall. A shelf filled with little picture books and stuffed animals on the other. A brown teddy bear had fallen on its face on one of the shelves.

In the middle—where Bruce was hunched over—was a crib. The wood streaked and aged with time, the beddings within pristine and untouched, if not dusty. Hanging overhead was a mobile with little animals dangling on a string.

“Worry not Master Dick. It is good that you are here since it will inevitably involve the rest of the family at some point.”

Dick nodded absentmindedly, trying to lock eyes with his guardian. “B? What’s—what’s going on?” Dick took one step deeper into the room. “The pictures in the cave. I thought they were you since they were too old to be Damian—” Bruce’s hands on the crib’s railing flinched.

Dick’s breath hitched.

“They’re…not your photos, are they.”

Bruce took a deep breath in, the lines of his shoulders tense. “No. They’re not.”

In their line of work, the answer could have been anything. Clones, magical doppelgangers, alternate universe counterparts, hell, even just someone’s genetic code being coincidentally similar to another person. But…this room, this nursery, pointed towards only one conclusion.

“Who is he, Bruce?”

Bruce angled his head towards Dick, unshed tears glimmering in his eyes. “He’s my son, Dick.

“He’s my son.”

[starry-bi-sky]

Behind the Mask: Gotham Ed, Gotham Fashion: Disaster

Inspired by one of the channels on the maribat discord, @stories-by-kat @maribat-archive

(You can find this on ao3 under ‘imshookandbi’)

Everyone in Gotham held their breath expectantly as the newest episode of ‘Behind the Mask: Gotham Ed’ began playing on their tv screens. Tonight was another Wayne Special, and nobody wanted to miss it.

When the first Wayne Special aired it was met with surprise from every busybody in Gotham, they didn’t think Bruce Wayne would ever agree to such a thing, considering he was big on his privacy, and they were expecting something boring.

How they were wrong.

The episode started like any other, the camera crew standing outside of the house of the chosen celebrity, getting a clear shot of the large estate, before moving to the door and knocking.

[[MORE]]

A few seconds later it was opened by Alfred Pennyworth, the Wayne butler, and the camera crew was invited inside. Bruce Wayne stood nearby with a blank expression, before motioning to the foyer and beginning the tour.

His voice, while pleasant and charming, droned on as he explained the history of the house. People were just about to click off it with a quiet sigh of expected disappointment, when there was a loud crashing sound and Jason Todd, Bruce’s second oldest, came sliding down the foyer stair banister and almost straight into Alfred, who merely stepped out of the way at the last second.

The camera jerked towards the dark haired boy in surprise, who was face planted into the floor and groaning painfully. The camera turned back to Bruce, as if asking a silent question, when the man in question adopted a pained expression and pinched the bridge of his nose, before sighing.

It was silent as the Patriarch of the house muttered quietly, in a long-suffering tone, “We were supposed to act normal.”

After that it was all chaos, and Gotham saw first hand how crazy it truly was in the Wayne Family.

The people of Gotham demanded for a second episode.

The people of Gotham got a second episode.

The people of Gotham got many more episodes even after, much to their unrestricted glee.

The people of Gotham thought it couldn’t get any better, then enter stage left; Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Damian ‘I am a glacier personified’ Wayne’s sweetheart.

She wasn’t showcased until four Wayne Specials later, but even before then she was heavily mentioned. However, it was under the pseudonym (that wasn’t really much of a pseudonym, more so a loving nickname the youngest Wayne gave her) ‘angel’.

And an angel she was, nobody expected her to be French, nor so small. She first appeared when the camera crew was in the middle of filming, a tray of macarons in hand and an easy-going smile on her freckled face. She didn’t even notice the camera yet, instead she walked over to Damian, pecked his cheek, before swinging the tray over to him and saying with a heavy French accent; “Macaron, Dames?”

Damian looked positively gleeful before nodding and taking one. That was when Marinette noticed the camera crew, she looked surprised, but quickly recovered before walking over and, while looking straight into the camera with glowing bluebell eyes, said; “Do you want one too, monsieurs?”

It startled all but Damian, who was still munching on the little treat.

Gotham adored her, and loved having her in episodes. She wasn’t in all of them, mind you, for she was still French and thus lived in France, but that just made her appearances extra special. Everyone did wonder though how she gets over so quickly, considering the far distance.

That isn’t the focus, though. As the newest episode faded in, the title did as well. Gotham Fashion: Disaster, a curious name, but promising for it held the chance of having Marinette in it.

And having Marinette in it, it did. The first thing that appeared after the title card was the small French-Asian girl, however, what was new was the fact that she wasn’t smiling. A concerning and uncommon thing with the young teen.

She was enraptured with something on her laptop, her face was stoic and deadpan, but while her expression was void her eyes were full of life. One could think her eyes were made of blue fire, full of disbelief and anger and thinly-veiled disgust. The corner of her eye twitched ever so slightly, so small a blink could miss it.

The camera crew got closer.

Marinette didn’t even seem to acknowledge their approach, and as they drew in the glare on her laptop died away to reveal a full body image of the Joker in all his crazed glory. There was destruction and carnage at his feet, rubble and destroyed street was strewn around him like an edgy teen’s family photo.

Marinette was glaring at the man, more specifically his outfit, which consisted of mainly green and white and purple.

The teen seemed to notice the camera at that moment, wordlessly she looked up from her laptop, ever so deadpan, and much like her first appearance, looked straight into the camera.

There was no smile though, no polite kindness, nor a tray of macarons in her hand. Tonelessly, yet still full of so much conviction, she stated; “The Joker is a punk bitch. If I ever so much as see him I’m going to slap him with a mallet for the sole reason of looking like an eggplant dipped in green paint and powdered sugar.”

Then, she added, “How dare he make me look at him dressed like that.”

Her incredibly offended voice would’ve been humorous, if it weren’t for the fact that she just swore for the first time on camera. The camera jerked in surprise, and the room was silent for all but three seconds, before one of the men behind the camera said, very quietly, “Pardon?”

That seemed to be the opening to a pair of floodgates that happened to be so full the dam wall was cracking. Marinette twitched, before blurting out; “His outfit! It’s an absolute disaster! An insult to fashion! He’s a walking bruise that someone attempted to cover using a concealer that wasn’t even their correct skin tone! He walks around like that and expects me to be scared of him?”

An inhale of breath could be heard offscreen, apparently from one of the crew about to speak, but the young French-Asian woman continued on.

“Don’t get me started on Puzzler and the Riddler, I know green is a lovely color, it really is, but if you’re gonna walk around like a neon traffic sign then I’m sorry but you’re gonna get slapped. By me. With a ruler.” She began, a scowl planted itself onto her face as she crossed her arms, an unusually out of place expression on her features. “If they want, I will personally make them a new suit, I can make it green if they so desire, but under no circumstances is it going to be that shade of green.”

An opportunity must’ve been smelt, for a second later one of the camera crew members piped up; “What about the rest of the villains? And what about the heroes?”

Marinette twitched again, before bursting out into a outfit-style rant that only an experienced designer could manage. For nearly two hours straight Marinette called out each and every single villain and hero who resided inside and out of Gotham for their poor fashion skills and terrible color coordination. If they had some involvement with Gotham, they were free game.

Two-Face, the Penguin, Scarecrow, Mr. Freeze, Red Hood, Superman, Nightwing, Red Robin, the Flash, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Robin, no one was safe from her ire. She ripped into each and every villain and hero she could think of, each outfit was torn to shreds and rebuilt into something new. It was the hottest verbal fire the people in Gotham have ever witnessed.

“Then there’s Batman,” Marinette hissed dangerously as she neared the end of her rampage, her eyes narrowed in both terrible judgement (for Batman) and self-righteous, fashion fueled anger. “I’m going to have a talk with him about the first Robin’s hero costume.”

“Bright yellow. Stop sign red. And clover green. The first Robin’s outfit consisted of those three colors, two primary and one secondary. Robin was a walking traffic light, he wore elf shoes and didn’t even wear pants. I’m—” She cut herself off, taking a deep breath to seemingly calm herself, before continuing.

“I get that Robin was a child at the time, and he probably needed some way to keep an eye on him, but there are different ways to track a child and being a glowstick is not one of them.” She said, “Apparently, black is the only color he seems to know that doesn’t end in neon. Apparently I will need to teach him on this thing called the color spectrum, and that he needs to use it.” Her voice was full of annoyance and disgusted designer judgement.

“And the cape.” She said slowly, enunciating each word perfectly and clearly, such a small sentence shouldn’t sound so much like a threat, but it did. “Oh, the cape. Let me tell you something—” Off she went again, the young noiret rattled on every single disadvantage a cape had.

By the end of her rant everyone in Gotham felt significantly burned, even if the focus of her ire wasn’t pointed at them. The civilians of Gotham felt both embarrassed of and for their heroes and villains— well, maybe not so for their villains too much, but still slightly. At the most they pitied them. (Except for the Joker.)

The day the episode, ‘Behind the Mask: Gotham Ed, Gotham Fashion: Disaster’ aired was the day that one Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s inbox was flooded with commissions from heroes and villains alike.

The day the episode, ‘Behind the Mask: Gotham Ed, Gotham Fashion: Disaster’ aired villain activity decreased exponentially for a month as villains of all kinds scrambled to fix their suits and outfits.

The day the episode, ‘Behind the Mask: Gotham Ed, Gotham Fashion: Disaster’ aired was the day the phrase, ‘dress to impress Mlle. Marinette Dupain-Cheng’ was coined.

The episode, ‘Behind the Mask: Gotham Ed, Gotham Fashion: Disaster’ became a new Gotham Favorite, and Marinette’s popularity inside the crime-ridden city boosted significantly.

[fuzzemfuzzy]

It’s no secret that John Doe - Telltale’s own take on DC’s infamous Joker - was one of the more unique elements included in Batman: The Enemy Within. His quirky yet seemingly harmless behavior and need for connection set him apart from typical versions of the character, making his transformation into either an extremist vigilante trying desperately to gain Batman’s approval or a murderous villain hellbent on destroying everything Bruce Wayne holds dear feel all the more tragic. Regardless of what he becomes in the game’s final episode, we the players know that he wasn’t always like that.

But what makes this take on the Joker even MORE interesting is that (A) he knows who Batman is, (B) he never uses this knowledge to manipulate Batman in any meaningful way, and (C) he figures it out all on his own. Very few characters in the game are aware of Batman’s identity; aside from John, there are Selina Kyle (Catwoman), Amanda Waller, Alfred Pennyworth, Lucius Fox and Iman Avesta. Selina figures out Batman’s identity in a fairly straightforward way: she has a scuffle with him one night, and the next day she meets Bruce Wayne bearing the exact same injury she managed to inflict during her fight with Batman. Waller learns Batman’s identity from Avesta, with both women using the vast resources of The Agency to dig into the vigilante’s past actions and psychology until they’d drawn enough parallels with the behavior of Bruce Wayne to be certain. Alfred, of course, is the man who raised Bruce and plays support for the caped crusader, while Lucius, Batman’s gadget man, was presumably brought in on the secret by Bruce himself. In other words, all these characters deduce Batman’s identity either through obvious, physical evidence (such as Selina noticing the identical injury), through the use of government resources and information (Waller and Avesta both rely on Agency support and data to pin Bruce as Batman), or having personally aided the vigilante almost since he began his crusade (Alfred and Lucius). Yet John Doe - the Pact’s resident oddball and a potential friend of Bruce - figures it all out without any outside help or obvious hints.

When John finally reveals that he’s aware of Bruce’s double life, he doesn’t point to the psychology of Batman for proof, or gloat about having deduced it from the vigilante’s similar fighting style; rather, he explains that he figured it out simply from trying to befriend Bruce, meaning John is the only character in the game to deduce Batman’s identity ON ACCIDENT. As he says, “you can’t fool a friend.” In the process of working alongside Bruce during their shared time in the Pact, John begins to notice things, like how defensive the man is of Catwoman despite them claiming to have just met, or the way he seems to vanish whenever the Batsignal appears in the sky. Youtubers playing through the game often comment how funny it is that nobody seems to notice Bruce’s sudden disappearance at the sight of the Batsignal, but they’re wrong; John DOES notice. Yet remarkably, he doesn’t seem to care. Bruce, to John, is still just Bruce; the only difference is that sometimes he wears a suit and beats up criminals. This is shown in both the Vigilante and Villain routes of the final episode. In the Vigilante route, John does his best to play second fiddle to Batman, wanting to help the man he idolizes, and while he hyperfixates on the second identities of both Bruce and himself (taking on the “hero name” of Joker), he’s obviously still aware of Batman’s true identity as Bruce; he’s completely unbothered by the vigilante removing his mask or conversing with Alfred, and the first two words of the Vigilante route are John’s enthusiastic, “Bruce! Buddy!” This simultaneous awareness and lack of care regarding Batman’s identity only escalates if the player ends up going down the Villain Joker route, in which John essentially opts to ignore the Batman side of Bruce’s life entirely. Instead, he prefers to sidestep it and directly target Bruce’s family, while also destroying or poisoning large portions of the city in a psychotic mix of pure insanity and poorly-hidden anger at being rejected by his hero. In both cases, he keeps the secret to himself, even when revealing it would net him an easy victory. 

Amanda Waller discovered Batman’s identity through government connections and extensive scrutiny, and once she had the secret, she uses it to manipulate the hero into serving her own interests. Catwoman discovered Batman’s identity through obvious evidence, and became attracted to the man; while Bruce Wayne may once have been nothing more than an easy mark to her, his double life intrigued her. Alfred and Lucius have known Batman’s identity almost since the vigilante’s outset, aiding him in his campaign to clean up Gotham. Yet John deduces Bruce’s secret without any outside assistance, government resources, emotional past, or even much of a motive to do so; his relationship with Bruce remains dependent on ACTIONS, rather than identities. If Bruce is kind, trusting and supportive towards John, he does his best to aid the man, adopting his own vigilante persona in a flawed attempt to emulate Batman’s crime-fighting ways. Oppositely, if Bruce is cruel or distrustful of John, he returns it in kind, treating his former friend with disgust and anger at what he perceives as a betrayal. Regardless of what path John ultimately goes down, and what Joker he becomes, one thing remains constant: John Doe doesn’t care that Bruce is Batman. He becomes what you treat him as. Treat him as a threat, and he becomes the biggest threat Bruce and Gotham have ever seen; treat him as a friend, and he becomes obsessed with living up to that friendship. 

Before Telltale’s Batman series, if anyone told me that the Joker and Batman would fight back-to-back against government agents, or have a friendly drink together at a milkshake bar, I’d have called them crazy. But John Doe is not Joker; much like Bruce adopts his Batman persona, the Joker is simply a mask John wears when committing his more extreme actions. 

What those actions are depends on you.

[furederiko]

Advance Notice: Behold, for this is my first monthly review for "Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger"...

I had planned on publishing a First Impression post when this show premiered on February 11th, 2018, but I ended up scrapping that idea due to several reasons. I figured I should just go ahead with the review for the first episode having seen it with subs, but another hurdle came barging on my way (forcing me to be off the grid for a brief amount of time prior to my latest post) to the point that now I practically have watched 3 subbed episodes already. LOL. So as you can see, I've finally decided to just convert it into a monthly review (consisting of episode 1 to 3 that aired Sunday, February 25th) for the series anyway. Not unlike what I did with "Kamen Rider Build", of course. But there's a catch! Since I don't want my efforts for the First Impression to go to waste, I'm going to start with them first before heading directly to my Overall thoughts on each episode. Okay then, here goes...

First Impression

NOTE: Another reminder before I start. This list was written as soon as I finished watching the first episode. It contained my personal notes and INITIAL reactions to the story, theme, and also characters, some of most definitely have more or less evolved since then. So if it might sound a bit outdated, that's just the way it is. Can't help it, these were from three weeks ago... XD - Phantom Thief? More like... burglar. I'm talking about the premiere's opening sequence, that is. While it was designed to be cinematic, to me it also felt like a missed opportunity. The writer for this episode (was it lead writer Junko Komura?) probably forgot or got him/herself confused on the basic rule of a 'Kaitou'/Phantom Thieves. What made a Phantom Thief different than regular thieves or pickpockets, was in their modus operand of sending/handing out notice way ahead of their operation in order to challenge the owner of the item. Hence why it is called ADVANCE NOTICE. Moreso, they would infiltrate the target location meticulously and secretly using tricks and deceits while naturally avoiding to cause too much of a fuzz as much as possible. Those are the basics of a Phantom Thief. If you're uninformed and curious to see how this plays out, look no further than towards the many Kaitou Kid-centered story arcs in "Meitantei Conan", or the children show "Mysterious Joker". Even the heist aspect of Marvel Studios' "Ant-Man" fit in perfectly in this method. - This show DID capture the extravagant and stylish flairs of Phantom Thieves in this opening sequence. It was undoubtedly a flashy scene. But the biggest issue here was they did NOT give off an advance notice to the Casino boss, who was, in fact, the first Gangler or MotW of the show. A missed opportunity, because they could have easily inserted that bit in a quick dialogue or two. Breaking and entering, proceeded by shooting randomly at things to retrieve their target was clearly NOT the style of a Phantom Thief. Nope, this was plain robbery or burglary at play. Huge difference, right there! LOL. Handing out a calling card afterward would be considered pretty much useless because it could no longer count as an 'Advance' notice (get it?). The later mission of the episode was better, as it required a good amount of sneaking and sleuthing. No sign of advance notice though, so what a shame *sigh*. Even if this show hasn't managed to get the thieving part correctly, it was pretty apparent that the source of inspiration for the Lupinrangers was the iconic series "Lupin the 3rd". At the very least, I'm instantly reminded of that series every time they got out in action, both in or out of suit. - Oh yeah, there's another missed potential regarding that opening sequence. In this case, it's a bit technical. Debuting the theme song of "Lupinranger VS Patranger" in the first episode sounds natural, right? Well, that should've been the case. Yet when it was played WITHOUT having the Patranger around... it bugged me big time. I personally think they should have either: used the Lupinranger-only version in that scene. Especially because the Patrangers didn't even have the ability to transform until the closing scene. Or...; rewrote the scene and have it showcase both teams at the same time, fully in costume. I know the Lupinranger is first-billed, but if I were this episode's writer, I would totally use the theme song during an actual kerfuffle between the two teams. For example, in that brief part before the episode wrapped? Heck, the episode could've started with that before going into flashback mode or some sort. It would have made a major difference if you ask me... - Characters!!! I know I should never judge a book by its cover, but seriously, Kairi Yano (LupinRed) is unappealing and squeaky. No wonder some folks were surprised that his actor Asahi Itou could be appointed as Red. Plus, it's clear he still needs to improve his acting skill, with all those constant unnerving glares. Touma Yoimachi (LupinBlue) is the usual cool type, who this time gets mixed up with the chef trope. Think of it like Kyuranger's Stinger and Spada in one body. For some reason, Shougo Hama reminded me of Kamen Rider Ibuki or Mamoru Chiba from the live action "Sailor Moon" series. I think Umika Hayami (LupinYellow) is the most likable member of the Lupinranger, albeit being the usual bumbling 'my pace' girl. It felt that graduated Morning Musume member Haruka Kudo's deep affection to tokusatsu really showed, as she looked the most comfortable in her shoes. Their names combine into 'Kai-To-u'. - Keiichirou Asaka (Patren 1-gou) is undoubtedly the better Red for me so far. I sensed that Kousei Yuuki was also more convincing as an actor than Asahi. Unfortunately, Keiichirou is also the loud brash stereotype (kind of reminds you of Go Yellow, huh?), so he and his mysterious endless rage and anger will either impress you or grate on your nerves. The same couldn't be said about the other Patranger members. Sakuya Hikawa (Patren 2-gou) and Tsukasa Myoujin (Patren 3-gou) are nothing more than... generic stereotypes in the premiere. For now at least. Which was disappointing, because Ryo Yokoyama and Kazusa Okuyama (who somehow reminded me of Red Racer and Go-On Silver) could only do so much with the limited materials they were given. These two are likely the lesser important characters (Super Sentai always have ones), which says a lot about the Patranger's position. None of these three managed to... grab my attention, because aside from a stubborn hot-blooded Keiichirou, the other two could be considered as bland. Just like the Lupinranger, their names combined into 'Kei-Sa-Tsu'. - Youichi Nukumizu's Kogure and Ike Nwala's Commisioner Hilltop are the show's MVP for me thus far. In Kogure's case, the air of mystery and elusiveness easily stole my attention and made me want to see more. I think he could work as a secret big boss vibe pulling the strings behind the scene, though it would likely end up as some kind of Alfred Pennyworth scenario instead. Likewise, Hilltop showed hints of eccentric personality due to his Japan Culture-obsessed hobby (mirroring "Sakura Taisen V"'s Sunnyside). I can't help but wonder if he's meant to be the Jim Gordon of the show? It also helped that he joined the limited list of foreign actors who played a crucial role in a tokusatsu show. I hope these two will have bigger and more important roles in the future... as suggested by that recent rumor. Sadly, I couldn't praise the same about Jim Carter (voiced by Rie Kugimiya), the Global Police's mascot robot. I disliked its design, and see no actual use of it. Not to mention that name. Why TOEI, just why? - Comparing these two teams have always been an ordeal since I saw their first images. Each one has their pros and cons that sort of balanced my impression on them. I liked the Patranger cast better, but those suit design totally threw me off the table. I dig the style of the Lupinranger suit, but feel mixed about its actors. It's clear however, that the Lupinranger was put center front in the premiere (as evident by the flashy top-hatted transformation sequence and cool silhouetted roll call), to the point that the Patranger was basically just... there. Thus it felt somewhat premature and unfair to compare them due to the state they are right now. Not surprisingly, the scene in the Bistrot Jurer was executed better than the one in the GSPO's Tactical Unit Operations Room. The latter just looked more... fake somehow *sigh*. - Speaking of suits, Patranger likely had inspirations from "KyuKyu Sentai GoGoFive", "Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger", with a hint of "Go Go Sentai Boukenger". Sadly, these are not as good as those three. The Lupinranger ones are clearly a "Mirai Sentai Timeranger" nod, complete with that giant hands of clock-shaped swords that reminded me of the Vector Swords. Still, they should've gone with a long coat tail like in the transformation sequence (Zyuoh Whale and Draco Commander style). That would've made for a more elegant look. - I'm not that fond of the design for the show's main antagonist (a mixture of dinosaur and... guns?). Not the grenade-inspired but watermelon-looking Destora Mazzio (voiced by Pokemon's Brock himself, Yuuji Ueda), and particularly the hideous Goshu Ru Medu (voiced by "K-ON!"'s Ayana Taketatsu). Perhaps it's the way that every Gangler needs to include a safety box on their body that made them look... I don't know, silly? On the bright side, it does have this interesting mafia family style that would provide great potentials assuming it's explored properly. Cues from "The Godfather" movies can be felt from their so-called leader Dogranio Yabun (voiced by Mitsuru Miyamoto), as well as an obvious nod to Don Dolnero of Timeranger. In the case of those Lupin Collection, I'm sure Super Sentai fans would easily be reminded of Boukenger's Precious. - Neat camera works for the action scenes. Some... inventive movements that involved plenty of 360 shots taken from kinetic angles. Unfortunately, they would work much better in a fast-paced viewing. When you slowed the sequence down, it's more than obvious that the transitions between the different cameras (the regular huge and docked one, and possibly a drone/hand-held for the moving parts) aren't exactly as smooth. The switching was more than apparent, because there's an easily noticeable fluctuation in video quality. Not to mention, it did feel confusing to see after repeated viewings. - Last but not least, the absence of an ending sequence could be a make or break situation for the show. Many audience particularly Japanese kids genuinely loved an ending song that they could dance along with. I know that this one felt more mature already without one, but is that really a good thing? We'll just have to wait and see...

01 - "Here Comes the Flashy Burglar / Off-Beat Arrested Development"

Overall: I admit, after seeing this episode again with English subtitle, it was better than my first initial watch. Unfortunately, many of its issues (that I have pointed out above) are hard to overlook and still render my overall judgment. This was meant to be a groundbreaking series that actually features two existing Super Sentai teams at once, yet in my opinion, it ended up feeling more or less like your standard Super Sentai show. It didn't feel that much 'different', despite being taunted/promoted as such. Same old, same old. Most of that is likely due to the fact that the Patranger didn't have equal footing in it when they really SHOULD. Everything this police unit does (always-late appearance, bland characters, unimpressive significance, etc) didn't account much, giving off a distracting vibe that they were merely a set of supporting characters in a Lupinranger show. Seriously, they didn't even have a proper transformation scene and roll call because of how heavily Lupinranger-focused this has been. I'm not fond of police-themed Sentai, to begin with, hence why I already liked it less than other Super Sentai fans. Not saying this debut episode was bad, but more like... not my cup of tea? Didn't win me over? I do get why many are loving it though. This was a breeze of fresh air, especially when compared to the recent WEAK (I'm being NICE here) seasons of "Power Rangers" adaptations. Still, in my opinion, it's a pretty standard premiere, heavy on expositions, and due to its minor flaws, wasn't really on par with previous Super Sentai premiere episodes. On the bright side, if the show's future development is consistent with a recent rumor flying around the internet, then they will be enough to keep me watching this show. Here's hoping...

02 - "Frozen Back-Story / Fudging-Sweaty Fusion"

Overall: If I have to choose one word to describe this episode, that would be easy: HECTIC. Yes, as fittingly represented by the official opening sequence that... in my honest opinion, could have used better editing. The action parts felt busy and rushed, to the point that when it slowed down for the dramatic parts, the episode became uneven. I have this feeling that the debut of the vaguely disturbing Patren Union (defying all kinds of real life logic) was meant to put or even push the Patranger into the spotlight. Heck, they finally got their own flas... er generic roll call now (it still looks bland compared to the thieves no matter how you put it... *sigh*). Unfortunately, it's the drama part that pretty much stole every attention and became the major highlight of this episode. And sadly, it was particularly shining a light towards the Lupinranger... all over again. Yes, Kairi, Touma, and Umika remained to be the first-billed characters, as the show decided to reveal their real motives/goal to collect the Lupin Collection. Which was emotional and VERY personal at best. Hence our supposedly good officers were still being relegated as second fiddle, showing that the show hasn't managed to divide the focus evenly between the two teams. But hey, the Patranger also helped debuted the sentient-chatterbox Good Striker/Goody (voiced by legendary Virgo Shaka himself, Yuuji Mitsuya), right? Only to jumpstart the arrival of Lupin Kaizer when the Collection Piece combined with the Lupinranger's Dial Fighters instead. And while the show's first mecha (which didn't look as good as its design, I can't tell why) dealt with the Gangler in a flashy way, Keichirou, Sakuya, and Tsukasa only stared blankly into the night sky. Oh Patranger, I feel truly sorry for you... Ignoring the fact that it's still an uneven affair, it's indeed a much better episode than the first. It's not perfect by all means, and probably could do with better editing, but that genuinely intriguing backstory honestly did much of the heavy lifting. It's probably the show's best episode so far, though I'm hoping it's not the extent that this show has to offer.

03 - "Fiance on Ice / A Sticky Reinforcement"

Overall: LOL, did anyone actually expect some secret identities to be exposed, just 3 episodes in? That's NOT how Super Sentai works, especially in a full-year extended version of a Versus movie like this. So in that sense, what a pointless cliffhanger that was at the end of episode 2, huh? This intro scene basically answered one lingering concern I had since episode 1. Remember how Keiichirou and Kairi had a civilian stand-off about that newspaper ball in the park early on? If Keiichirou has good photographic memory and critical analysis skill as a competent police officer, he would've instantly recognized Kairi in Jurer. Not just that, he should also recognize LupinRed's voice coming from his mouth. But noooope, that did NOT happen. Frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about this. I just hope this didn't simply mean that Kei, as well as Sakuya and Tsukasa, are being written off as a bit... slow. That would be a disaster! How could one root for them if they are so unreliable? We got more insight into Touma's character concerning his fiance Aya. Not much of a surprise, because the previous episode had openly shown the identities of the frozen closed ones *sigh*. His character now reminds me of Joe Gibken from "Kaizoku Sentai Go-kaiger", who so happens to be sharing a similar cool-blue stereotype. But I'm not sure why there's something off with Touma that I couldn't really put into words. A relentless darkness that is rubbing me the wrong way. Which is strange, because Joe is my favorite Go-kaiger. It felt like Sakuya was probably meant to be the 2nd focus here, or at least meant to have his share of the spotlight. But since the execution was still uneven, still favoring heavily on the Lupinranger side, inevitably the rookie member of the Global Police ended up being eclipsed by both Touma and also Kairi. On the bright side, him showing instant attraction to Umika at the end implied that he's destined to be the awkward but likable goofball of the series. Assuming this angle will be explored in the future, of course. I might be wrong in this, but it felt like the Patranger has gotten the short end of the stick... again. Three times in a row! I mean, when the whole episode established that the Lupinranger will now be using the Patranger as tools to do their bidding, that... kind of says A LOT, right? The thieves (true to their namesake) kept on stealing attention from the public servant (fittingly so), always acting one step ahead of them. And their version of Good Striker's Finishing Move wasn't even better (lamer IMO) than Union to begin with. Even Kogure singlehandedly stole the scenes with his elusive appearances and mysterious relationship with Goody! Marvel Studios carefully constructed a story that enabled "Captain America: Civil War" audience to be divided between the two conflicting teams, but there's none of that here. For the time being, the Patranger only feels more and more like an afterthought, a lesser team that probably shouldn't even get a mention in the title. I don't think that's fair... Oh well, at least their Pat Kaizer debut was great. I can't say why, but it honestly looked much better in action. That's a hugely pleasant surprise! Was it because Lupin Kaizer's battle relied too heavily on CG to showcase its fluid movement? Not really, because Pat Kaizer also had its fair share of CG. Because the battle took place in the daylight? Regardless, the combined Trigger Machines was sturdy and strong. And though I could do without that pink pole stick, this mecha looked impressive overall and just more fun to see in motion. Next Episode: A Closed Room Case...

Episode 1 Score: 7,2 out of 10 Episode 2 Score: 7,8 out of 10 Episode 3 Score: 7,4 out of 10

All images are screen captured from the series, provided by the FanSubber Over-Time. "Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger" is produced by TOEI, and airs every Sunday on TV-Asahi. Credits and copyrights belong to their respective owners.