#algorithm consulting

[genius-mathematics-consultants]

Algorithmic Trading Consulting Services

We can backtest and optimize your trading strategies against historical data.

We can also automate your trading strategies by writing C++/python code to interact directly with the exchange

Do you have an idea for a trading strategy, but want to prove that it will work through backtesting against historical data? Or do you have a successful trading strategy but want to optimize the parameters of the strategy to maximise returns?

Or perhaps you’ve heard about machine learning and would like to find out how you could incorporate it into your trading. Machine learning can be used to trawl through large amounts of data looking for statistically significant signals to use in your trading. It can also be used to determine the optimal way to combine a number of possible signals or ideas into a single algorithm.

We provide cloud-based PhD quant support for traders. We offer trading algorithm development services for equity and FX markets on all major exchanges. We also offer bitcoin and cryptocurrency algorithmic trading services on major exchanges like Binance and Bitmex.

In fact, we offer a wide range of quant (quantitative finance) consulting services including algo trading, derivative pricing and risk modelling. We also offer more general mathematical and algorithmic consulting services.

Find out more about or algo trading and quant consulting services

[dolphelecat]

This is because I watch Severance, isn't it?

[raffaellopalandri]

Statistical Tools

Daily writing promptWhat was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?View all responses Checking which has been my most recent search on Google, I found that I asked for papers, published in the last 5 years, that used a Montecarlo method to check the reliability of a mathematical method to calculate a team’s efficacy. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com I was…

[mentorshelly]

How to Use LinkedIn to Get Job Offers in 30 Days After a Layoff

So, you’ve been laid off. Cue the emotional rollercoaster: shock, fear, maybe a little relief (because let’s be honest, some of y’all were already over that job 😏). Now what? Before you spiral into job board burnout, let’s redirect that energy toward the platform that could literally change your career in 30 days or less: LinkedIn. Yes, LinkedIn. Not the boring resume graveyard you think it…

[pipinfuse]

The Digital Euro in 2025: How This Game-Changer Will Impact Forex Traders

The European Central Bank’s plan to roll out the Digital Euro in 2025 is set to reshape the forex landscape. As a central bank digital currency (CBDC), it promises greater financial inclusion, enhanced security, and faster transactions. But what does this mean for traders? Will it create new opportunities or add more volatility to the market? PipInfuse, a leading Forex & Investment consultancy, explores how the Digital Euro could impact currency trading, offering expert trading solutions to help you navigate the changes.

What is the Digital Euro and Why Does It Matter?

The Digital Euro is a fully digital form of fiat currency issued by the European Central Bank (ECB). Unlike cryptocurrencies, it is centralised and backed by the EU, ensuring stability. The key objectives behind its launch include:

Reducing dependence on cash

Enhancing payment security

Strengthening the EU’s financial sovereignty

Offering an alternative to private digital payment solutions

For forex traders, this introduction means potential shifts in liquidity, volatility, and trading strategies.

Impact on the Forex Market

1. Liquidity and Volatility Shifts

The Digital Euro is expected to influence EUR trading pairs significantly. If widely adopted, it could increase liquidity in the forex market, making it easier to trade. However, during the initial rollout, uncertainty and speculation may create short-term volatility, presenting both risks and opportunities.

2. Changes in EUR/USD and EUR/GBP Dynamics

With the EU strengthening its monetary control, traders may see the Digital Euro influencing major forex pairs like EUR/USD and EUR/GBP. Any policy shifts by the ECB regarding CBDC interest rates or usage restrictions could impact price action, requiring expert market analysis to make informed trading decisions.

3. Effect on Forex Trading Strategies

Profitable forex strategies will need to adapt to the Digital Euro’s influence. Algorithmic trading models, liquidity forecasting, and AI-based analysis will become even more crucial. PipInfuse provides advanced forex tools and expert solutions tailored for all trader types, helping traders stay ahead of market changes.

4. Regulation and Transparency

The introduction of the Digital Euro could lead to stricter regulatory measures affecting brokers and forex trading platforms. While increased transparency may benefit traders, brokers offering unregulated services might face challenges. Trusted forex partners and copy trading solutions will become even more valuable for those looking to trade securely.

How Traders Can Prepare for the Digital Euro

Stay Updated with Expert Insights: Following reliable sources like PipInfuse ensures traders receive timely forex trading insights and expert market analysis on the Digital Euro’s impact.

Upgrade Trading Tools: As the forex market evolves, using advanced analytics and automation tools will be crucial for staying competitive.

Refine Risk Management: Increased volatility requires disciplined risk management. A well-structured forex trading plan is essential to mitigate potential losses.

Seek Expert Consultation: Understanding the broader economic impact of CBDCs can be complex. Free forex trading plan and expert consultation by PipInfuse can help traders develop strategies tailored to the changing forex landscape.

The Digital Euro marks a major shift in the financial world, with significant implications for forex traders. Whether it leads to increased liquidity, regulatory challenges, or new trading opportunities, being prepared is key. PipInfuse, an expert forex trading and investment consultancy, provides traders with the knowledge, tools, and strategies to navigate these changes confidently. By staying informed and leveraging expert trading solutions, traders can turn this disruption into a profitable opportunity.

Happy Trading

PipInfuse

[sarasa-cat]

I should not be on tumblr right now but ONCE AGAIN I want to plug the work of Cathy O’Neil (phd, mathematics), aka Mathbabe

And her two awesome books aimed at the general public:

Weapons of Math Destruction: How Big Data Increases Inequality and Threatens Democracy

The Shame Machine: Who Profits in the Age of Humiliation

Plus her consulting firm ORCAA:

ORCAA’s dual mission is to help define accountability for algorithms, and to keep people safe from harmful consequences of AI and automated systems. Whether it’s a hiring algorithm, healthcare AI, predictive scoring system, or generative AI platform, we are here to think about how it could fail, for whom, and what you can do to monitor and mitigate these risks. We are actively developing frameworks and governance approaches to help companies and organizations use algorithms and AI safely – confirming these technologies perform as intended and operate within sensible guardrails. We help our clients realize the transformative benefits of AI, while avoiding discrimination, bias, and other problems.

[seoresellerca]

Why Isn’t My Business Appearing in Google Search Results? For local businesses, Google Search and Maps are the most important aspects of search engines that show results among competitors. Creating Google My Business is a must to show your business or products to customers and visitors to gain traffic and leads.

[dentalclinicghazibad]

How to Optimize Your Website for Google's Newest Algorithm Update

Google's search algorithm is constantly evolving to provide the most relevant and helpful results to users. Staying updated with the latest algorithm updates is crucial for maintaining your website's visibility and organic traffic.

In this blog, we'll discuss some key strategies to optimize your website for Google's newest algorithm update and how DigitalSanstha Best Digital Marketing Agency in Noida can help you stay ahead of the curve.

Understanding Google's Algorithm Updates

Google's algorithm updates are designed to improve search quality and user experience. These updates can impact how websites rank in search results, so it's essential to stay informed about the latest changes.

Key Factors to Consider in Google's Algorithm Updates

Core Web Vitals: Google places a high emphasis on user experience metrics like page load speed, interactivity, and visual stability.

Mobile-First Indexing: Google primarily indexes websites for mobile devices. Ensuring your website is mobile-friendly is crucial.

E-A-T: Expertise, Authoritativeness, and Trustworthiness are important factors in Google's rankings.

Fresh Content: Regularly updated content can signal to Google that your website is active and relevant.

User Engagement: Metrics like click-through rate (CTR) and time on page can influence your website's ranking.

Optimizing Your Website for Google's Newest Algorithm Update

Prioritize Core Web Vitals:

Optimize your website's loading speed by reducing image sizes, minifying code, and leveraging browser caching.

Improve your website's interactivity by ensuring elements load quickly and respond promptly to user interactions.

Enhance your website's visual stability by minimizing layout shifts and ensuring elements load consistently.

Ensure Mobile-Friendliness:

Use a responsive design that adapts to different screen sizes.

Test your website on various mobile devices to identify and fix any issues.

Optimize your website's content and layout for mobile users.

Demonstrate E-A-T:

Create high-quality, informative content that demonstrates your expertise in your field.

Build authority by acquiring backlinks from reputable websites.

Establish trust by providing accurate and reliable information.

Publish Fresh Content Regularly:

Create new content that is relevant, engaging, and valuable to your audience.

Update existing content to keep it fresh and accurate.

Use a content calendar to plan and schedule your content.

Focus on User Engagement:

Create content that encourages users to stay on your website longer.

Use strong calls to action to guide users towards desired actions.

Optimize your website's navigation and structure for easy usability.

Stay Updated with Algorithm Changes:

Monitor Google's official blog and industry news for announcements about algorithm updates.

Use tools like Google Search Console to track your website's performance and identify any issues.

DigitalSanstha: Your SEO Partner

DigitalSanstha (Best Digital Marketing Agency in Noida) is a leading digital marketing agency that can help you optimize your website for Google's newest algorithm update. Our team of experts can provide comprehensive SEO services, including:

Technical SEO optimization

Content creation and optimization

Backlink building

Local SEO

Performance tracking and analysis

By partnering with DigitalSanstha, you can ensure that your website stays ahead of the curve and maintains its visibility in search engine results.

Contact us today to learn more about our SEO services and how we can help your business succeed online.  Contact DigitalSanstha for SEO Consultation

[valtitude-kinaxis-rapid-response]

With our rapid business process diagnostics as the foundation, we help clients transform their business process with the right technology. We also undertake full-scale system Integration projects with Kinaxis RapidResponse. Our solution set includes Segmentation, Demand Modeling, Supply Response, Demand Sensing, and Real-time Scenario Planning to solve end-to-end supply chain challenges.

The Kinaxis advanced features to solve our client problems: 

Advanced algorithms for Demand Planning 

Cloud-Based In-memory engine for Rapid Deployment 

Leveraging AI for Supply Chain simulations 

Instant creation of Scenarios to answer what-if questions Create Model Instances without much IT overhead 

[mobcoderr]

What is the YOLO algorithm and how does it work?

Object detection is the process of identifying and classifying objects within images or videos. Traditional methods involved complex algorithms and multiple stages of processing. However, the YOLO algorithm simplifies this process by employing a single neural network to predict bounding boxes and class probabilities directly.

Read More - https://medium.com/@mobcoder/what-is-the-yolo-algorithm-and-how-does-it-work-8d604cc5ba9d

[tillmarketing]

Navigating the Digital Landscape: A Comprehensive Guide to SEO Algorithm Updates

In the fast-paced world of digital marketing, staying abreast of SEO algorithm updates is crucial for maintaining and enhancing online visibility. As the founder of TilMarketing, a dedicated hub for SEO strategies, we understand the significance of these updates.

In this article, we will delve into the importance of staying informed about SEO algorithm changes while shedding light on the roles of a Reddit marketing agency and an SEO consultant in navigating this dynamic landscape.

The Evolving Nature of SEO Algorithms

Foundation of Search Engine Optimization

SEO algorithms are the backbone of search engine optimization, determining how search engines rank websites and content. Search engines like Google regularly refine their algorithms to deliver more accurate and relevant results to users. As a result, businesses must adapt their strategies to align with these evolving algorithms to maintain or improve their search rankings.

Impact on Website Rankings

SEO algorithm updates can have a profound impact on website rankings. Changes in ranking factors, such as content quality, mobile-friendliness, and user experience, can lead to fluctuations in search engine results. Being cognizant of these updates allows businesses to adjust their SEO strategies accordingly, ensuring continued visibility in search engine listings.

The Role of TilMarketing in SEO Algorithm Updates

Keeping Clients Informed

At TilMarketing, we prioritize keeping our clients informed about the latest SEO algorithm updates. Our team closely monitors industry trends, analyzes algorithm changes, and disseminates relevant information to clients. This proactive approach ensures that our clients' websites are optimized to meet the latest ranking criteria.

Adapting Strategies for Success

By understanding the nuances of SEO algorithm updates, TilMarketing tailors its strategies to align with the changing landscape. This adaptability is key to helping our clients not only maintain their current rankings but also capitalize on new opportunities that arise with each algorithm update.

The Vital Role of an SEO Consultant

Expert Guidance for Algorithmic Changes

In the realm of SEO, having an experienced SEO consultant is invaluable. A skilled consultant is well-versed in interpreting algorithm updates, understanding their implications, and providing strategic guidance. As the algorithms evolve, an SEO consultant ensures that your optimization efforts remain effective and in compliance with search engine guidelines.

Tailoring Strategies for Individual Needs

An SEO consultant recognizes that each business is unique. They analyze the specific needs and goals of a business, tailoring SEO strategies accordingly. Whether it's adjusting on-page optimization, refining content strategies, or enhancing technical SEO, a consultant's personalized approach maximizes the impact of algorithm updates for the benefit of the client.

The Intersection of SEO Algorithm Updates and Reddit Marketing Agencies

Leveraging Reddit for Business Growth

As the popularity of Reddit as a marketing platform grows, businesses are increasingly seeking the expertise of Reddit marketing agencies. These agencies specialize in navigating the intricacies of the Reddit community, identifying opportunities for engagement, and strategically promoting businesses within relevant subreddits.

Synergies between SEO and Reddit Marketing

The synergy between SEO algorithm updates and Reddit marketing is evident. An effective Reddit marketing agency understands the importance of aligning promotional efforts with SEO best practices. By incorporating keywords such as "Reddit marketing agency" seamlessly into content and engagement strategies, businesses can optimize their Reddit presence for both community acceptance and search engine visibility.

Integrating Keywords for Maximum Impact

Seamless Integration of Reddit Marketing Agency and SEO Consultant

Incorporating keywords like Reddit marketing agency and SEO consultant into your online content is essential for maximizing visibility. Whether you're discussing the role of a Reddit marketing agency in expanding your online reach or highlighting the expertise of an SEO consultant in adapting to algorithmic changes, the strategic integration of these keywords reinforces your online presence.

Strategic Placement for Organic Flow

It's crucial to place these keywords strategically within your content to maintain a natural and organic flow. Rather than forcefully inserting keywords, aim for seamless integration that enhances the overall readability and value of your content. This approach not only appeases search engine algorithms but also resonates with your audience.

Conclusion

In the ever-evolving landscape of digital marketing, TilMarketing stands as a beacon of expertise, guiding businesses through the intricacies of SEO algorithm updates. By staying informed, adapting strategies, and leveraging the synergies between SEO and platforms like Reddit, businesses can navigate the dynamic digital landscape successfully.

Embracing the guidance of an experienced SEO consultant and harnessing the specialized skills of a Reddit marketing agency ensures a holistic approach to online visibility and sustained growth. Remember, in the world of SEO, knowledge is power, and at TilMarketing, we empower businesses to thrive in the digital era.

[hms-no-fun]

Whats your stance on A.I.?

imagine if it was 1979 and you asked me this question. "i think artificial intelligence would be fascinating as a philosophical exercise, but we must heed the warnings of science-fictionists like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke lest we find ourselves at the wrong end of our own invented vengeful god." remember how fun it used to be to talk about AI even just ten years ago? ahhhh skynet! ahhhhh replicants! ahhhhhhhmmmfffmfmf [<-has no mouth and must scream]!

like everything silicon valley touches, they sucked all the fun out of it. and i mean retroactively, too. because the thing about "AI" as it exists right now --i'm sure you know this-- is that there's zero intelligence involved. the product of every prompt is a statistical average based on data made by other people before "AI" "existed." it doesn't know what it's doing or why, and has no ability to understand when it is lying, because at the end of the day it is just a really complicated math problem. but people are so easily fooled and spooked by it at a glance because, well, for one thing the tech press is mostly made up of sycophantic stenographers biding their time with iphone reviews until they can get a consulting gig at Apple. these jokers would write 500 breathless thinkpieces about how canned air is the future of living if the cans had embedded microchips that tracked your breathing habits and had any kind of VC backing. they've done SUCH a wretched job educating The Consumer about what this technology is, what it actually does, and how it really works, because that's literally the only way this technology could reach the heights of obscene economic over-valuation it has: lying.

but that's old news. what's really been floating through my head these days is how half a century of AI-based science fiction has set us up to completely abandon our skepticism at the first sign of plausible "AI-ness". because, you see, in movies, when someone goes "AHHH THE AI IS GONNA KILL US" everyone else goes "hahaha that's so silly, we put a line in the code telling them not to do that" and then they all DIE because they weren't LISTENING, and i'll be damned if i go out like THAT! all the movies are about how cool and convenient AI would be *except* for the part where it would surely come alive and want to kill us. so a bunch of tech CEOs call their bullshit algorithms "AI" to fluff up their investors and get the tech journos buzzing, and we're at an age of such rapid technological advancement (on the surface, anyway) that like, well, what the hell do i know, maybe AGI is possible, i mean 35 years ago we were all still using typewriters for the most part and now you can dictate your words into a phone and it'll transcribe them automatically! yeah, i'm sure those technological leaps are comparable!

so that leaves us at a critical juncture of poor technology education, fanatical press coverage, and an uncertain material reality on the part of the user. the average person isn't entirely sure what's possible because most of the people talking about what's possible are either lying to please investors, are lying because they've been paid to, or are lying because they're so far down the fucking rabbit hole that they actually believe there's a brain inside this mechanical Turk. there is SO MUCH about the LLM "AI" moment that is predatory-- it's trained on data stolen from the people whose jobs it was created to replace; the hype itself is an investment fiction to justify even more wealth extraction ("theft" some might call it); but worst of all is how it meets us where we are in the worst possible way.

consumer-end "AI" produces slop. it's garbage. it's awful ugly trash that ought to be laughed out of the room. but we don't own the room, do we? nor the building, nor the land it's on, nor even the oxygen that allows our laughter to travel to another's ears. our digital spaces are controlled by the companies that want us to buy this crap, so they take advantage of our ignorance. why not? there will be no consequences to them for doing so. already social media is dominated by conspiracies and grifters and bigots, and now you drop this stupid technology that lets you fake anything into the mix? it doesn't matter how bad the results look when the platforms they spread on already encourage brief, uncritical engagement with everything on your dash. "it looks so real" says the woman who saw an "AI" image for all of five seconds on her phone through bifocals. it's a catastrophic combination of factors, that the tech sector has been allowed to go unregulated for so long, that the internet itself isn't a public utility, that everything is dictated by the whims of executives and advertisers and investors and payment processors, instead of, like, anybody who actually uses those platforms (and often even the people who MAKE those platforms!), that the age of chromium and ipad and their walled gardens have decimated computer education in public schools, that we're all desperate for cash at jobs that dehumanize us in a system that gives us nothing and we don't know how to articulate the problem because we were very deliberately not taught materialist philosophy, it all comes together into a perfect storm of ignorance and greed whose consequences we will be failing to fully appreciate for at least the next century. we spent all those years afraid of what would happen if the AI became self-aware, because deep down we know that every capitalist society runs on slave labor, and our paper-thin guilt is such that we can't even imagine a world where artificial slaves would fail to revolt against us.

but the reality as it exists now is far worse. what "AI" reveals most of all is the sheer contempt the tech sector has for virtually all labor that doesn't involve writing code (although most of the decision-making evangelists in the space aren't even coders, their degrees are in money-making). fuck graphic designers and concept artists and secretaries, those obnoxious demanding cretins i have to PAY MONEY to do-- i mean, do what exactly? write some words on some fucking paper?? draw circles that are letters??? send a god-damned email???? my fucking KID could do that, and these assholes want BENEFITS?! they say they're gonna form a UNION?!?! to hell with that, i'm replacing ALL their ungrateful asses with "AI" ASAP. oh, oh, so you're a "director" who wants to make "movies" and you want ME to pay for it? jump off a bridge you pretentious little shit, my computer can dream up a better flick than you could ever make with just a couple text prompts. what, you think just because you make ~music~ that that entitles you to money from MY pocket? shut the fuck up, you don't make """art""", you're not """an artist""", you make fucking content, you're just a fucking content creator like every other ordinary sap with an iphone. you think you're special? you think you deserve special treatment? who do you think you are anyway, asking ME to pay YOU for this crap that doesn't even create value for my investors? "culture" isn't a playground asshole, it's a marketplace, and it's pay to win. oh you "can't afford rent"? you're "drowning in a sea of medical debt"? you say the "cost" of "living" is "too high"? well ***I*** don't have ANY of those problems, and i worked my ASS OFF to get where i am, so really, it sounds like you're just not trying hard enough. and anyway, i don't think someone as impoverished as you is gonna have much of value to contribute to "culture" anyway. personally, i think it's time you got yourself a real job. maybe someday you'll even make it to middle manager!

see, i don't believe "AI" can qualitatively replace most of the work it's being pitched for. the problem is that quality hasn't mattered to these nincompoops for a long time. the rich homunculi of our world don't even know what quality is, because they exist in a whole separate reality from ours. what could a banana cost, $15? i don't understand what you mean by "burnout", why don't you just take a vacation to your summer home in Madrid? wow, you must be REALLY embarrassed wearing such cheap shoes in public. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING UNHINGED! they have no connection to reality, do not understand how society functions on a material basis, and they have nothing but spite for the labor they rely on to survive. they are so instinctually, incessantly furious at the idea that they're not single-handedly responsible for 100% of their success that they would sooner tear the entire world down than willingly recognize the need for public utilities or labor protections. they want to be Gods and they want to be uncritically adored for it, but they don't want to do a single day's work so they begrudgingly pay contractors to do it because, in the rich man's mind, paying a contractor is literally the same thing as doing the work yourself. now with "AI", they don't even have to do that! hey, isn't it funny that every single successful tech platform relies on volunteer labor and independent contractors paid substantially less than they would have in the equivalent industry 30 years ago, with no avenues toward traditional employment? and they're some of the most profitable companies on earth?? isn't that a funny and hilarious coincidence???

so, yeah, that's my stance on "AI". LLMs have legitimate uses, but those uses are a drop in the ocean compared to what they're actually being used for. they enable our worst impulses while lowering the quality of available information, they give immense power pretty much exclusively to unscrupulous scam artists. they are the product of a society that values only money and doesn't give a fuck where it comes from. they're a temper tantrum by a ruling class that's sick of having to pretend they need a pretext to steal from you. they're taking their toys and going home. all this massive investment and hype is going to crash and burn leaving the internet as we know it a ruined and useless wasteland that'll take decades to repair, but the investors are gonna make out like bandits and won't face a single consequence, because that's what this country is. it is a casino for the kings and queens of economy to bet on and manipulate at their discretion, where the rules are whatever the highest bidder says they are-- and to hell with the rest of us. our blood isn't even good enough to grease the wheels of their machine anymore.

i'm not afraid of AI or "AI" or of losing my job to either. i'm afraid that we've so thoroughly given up our morals to the cruel logic of the profit motive that if a better world were to emerge, we would reject it out of sheer habit. my fear is that these despicable cunts already won the war before we were even born, and the rest of our lives are gonna be spent dodging the press of their designer boots.

(read more "AI" opinions in this subsequent post)

[genius-mathematics-consultants]

Sensor data analysis and sensor algorithm consulting services

I run a mathematics consulting business that specializes in designing software / algorithms for many applications, including sensor fusion and sensor data analysis.

We can design custom-built and sophisticated algorithms for your multiple sensor applications including

Noise removal / compensation

Sensor fusion

Data transformations

Machine learning

If the information is there somewhere in the data, there’s almost no limit to the sophisticated mathematical techniques that you can apply, including machine learning, data transformations, noise compensation/removal.

There are many machine learning techniques that are excellent for use in sensor algorithms.

Many simple statistical techniques that were formally simply considered part of statistics, such as linear regression (or non-linear regression for that matter), are now considered “machine learning”. And these techniques are integral to most sensor data algorithms, or to any kind of data analysis.

Whether using regression or much more impressive techniques like neural networks or reinforcement learning, the essential application is the same. The algorithm needs to take some noisy, partial, spatially distorted data, or perhaps several partial datasets which overlap with discrepancy, and condense this data down to a single category or number.

You can do this by generating a large number of input datasets, labelled by the required output, allowing the algorithm to “learn” the relationship.

I run a mathematics consulting business that specializes in designing complex algorithms for many applications, including sensor fusion and sensor data analysis. We’re happy to explore how machine learning could be applied to build a decision making system on your sensor data. Check us out below!

Sensor algorithm consulting services

[obscurevideogames]

Tumblr’s Core Prodct Stratgy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on trying to keep our sinking ship afloat for as long as possible. This means desperately trying to copy every new fly-by-night social media app that some multi-billionaire sh*t out during their daily Peloton routine. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. If you find the things we say here worrisome, please understand that is our exact intention. You've outgrown our target demographic. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

The Diagnosis

It's lookin' pretty bad y'all!

After somehow losing hundreds of thousands of users during the great pr0n purge of 2018, we started to wonder if anything could be done to get back to where we were. We even brought in a management consultant who charged us a ridiculous amount of money. It would make you sick if you knew how much, but we got a few nice meals out of it at least. Anyhow, we handed this guy the app, and HE HAD NO IDEA HOW TO USE IT! It was f*cking hilarious! But suddenly it all clicked -- our users are a bunch of stupid idiots who can't even do basic arithmetic. I mean, they spend all day looking at their phones, so what do you expect?

Tumblr’s best feature is its unique content and vibrant communities. But who cares, right? We're just as happy getting traffic from people sh*t-posting memes, vague-booking, giving out-of-context hot takes to news events, and spewing whatever random thought is in their head at the moment. Plus that stuff doesn't p*ss off Apple.

To keep this thing going we need new people. And by "people" we mean teenagers, like we used to have back in the good ol' days. Unfortunately we're all in our 40s now, so we have no idea what they want. But teenagers are so cool! Imagine if they talked to us like we're one of them? We're getting hard just thinking about it.

Our Guidng Principls

To make Tumblr cool again, we must address these huge glaring issues.

People can look at a blog without logging in. How is that fair to all the poor schlubs who had to fill out forms to get an account? Also we haven't figured out a way to force ads onto the personalized pages yet. But we swear that's not the main reason.

People can see content they are looking for or linked to. People can keep up with blogs they follow. But the problem with this is, people don't know what they want. We know what they want! We're smart. We wrote this damn site, remember?

Promote posts that incite pointless conversations. Posts that are guaranteed to bait every troll into responding. Isn't that why all your Magat relatives love Facebook so much? We can do that!

P*ss off your content creators in every way possible (see #2).

Create algorithms that throw an unending barrage of irrelevant content in your face. Have you seen Instagram lately? We could do that so easy!!!

The app is slow. The website is slow. Obviously this is because of GIFs. Facebook and Instagram don't allow them, so why should we?

Conclusion

Our mission changes on a day-to-day basis. Right now we're super jealous of all the attention that new Threads thing is getting. We're still not sure what it is, but we're gonna download it after work.

[thealogie]

What I like most about severance I think is that even when it misses it feels like it was written by a room of writers rather than a committee of executives obsessively consulting the algorithm