#alicent sad hours

[attonitos-gloria]

listening to "tolerate it" & thinking about alicent hightower and CRYING

[greeksorceress]

‘he’s mine to ruin, and he’s mine to cherish’ is what aemond tells them before betraying them. 

it’s been two weeks since his unprompted meeting with lucerys over storm’s end, and he has refused to let the council and his grandfather take the boy away from him. otto proposed a public beheading, to send a message and teach an important lesson. aemond had refused, baring his teeth at his own grandfather while explaining that the boy wouldn’t die under his watch. aegon suggested cutting an ear, or an eye, and sending the boy back to rhaenyra like that, with his own maimed body serving as a warning. aemond had refused this too, slamming his fists on the table, declaring that lucerys’ body was off limits. alicent, in desperation, had begged for lucerys to be given back to rhaenyra safe and sound, with all his pieces still attached, wanting nothing more than forgiveness for this mistake and the possibility of staling the war once again. aemond had roared like a dragon, because lucerys was not to be parted from him. ever. 

alicent cries that night, seeing vhagar fly away, leaving them all behind. her rider is with her, and so is the treasure in the shape of a boy that aemond had never stopped fighting for. there’s the crown of the conqueror inside his travelling bag too, soon to be on rhaenyra’s head.

she wonders if it would all have turned differently if she had seen things in aemond as they had been and not the illusions she had wanted to believe. if she had admitted that his protectiveness and possessiveness over lucerys ran a little too deep, a little too strong. if she had said something when she realized aemond didn’t let anyone play with lucerys when they were young, because he wanted to soak all that love and attention, and lucerys’ childish admiration. if she had said something during those years of unhinged longing and want from aemond, who would train the hardest and always go for the eye and then would moan lucerys’ name at night when he thought nobody was walking down the corridors. how aemond had always wanted to hunt lucerys down, from the clearings in the forest behind the castle to the clouds in storm’s end. the possessiveness, the passion, the protectiveness, the jealously, the want, the need. the obsession that always rises like a tide when lucerys is in aemond’s sight or mind. 

she didn’t say anything, because she didn’t want to believe it. such a profuse devotion from her son that always seems to grace lucerys and only lucerys; the type of love one should have for salvation. she turned blind eye after blind eye, and now her son was about to bend the knee and give rhaenyra the crown, and request mercy for his family. 

and when rhaenyra concedes mercy over helaena and the children, and even spares aegon’s life, and asks him for the reason he’s doing all of this in the first place, he will tell her the same he told alicent before leaving them.

‘i need no crown, and i need no title. but i need lucerys like the air in my lungs and the blood within my veins. i need his fury and his resentment, and i need his love and his devotion. and i will give him as much and more. i will live to serve him, because he’s the owner of my mind and my heart and his existence is the purpose of mine. i am his. and i want him, for he’s already mine too. he’s mine to ruin, and he’s mine to cherish.’

[saintchaser]

“goodbye, alice.”

“don’t do this to me, cissa.”

alice shook her head, and laughed. bitter and aching, a loneliness of some sort that she was sure she would never be able to hide, to push away from her sorrowed heart.

narcissa did not look at her. instead, she fiddled with the ring on her finger, the ring alice had worked a whole summer to afford.

she hadn’t taken it off, yet. alice had intended it to be some sort of promise ring. a lovesick, childish vow of some sorts that deep within her she always knew that would not be enough.

narcissa kissed her one last time. regret was heavy on her lips.

[clownhonkbonk]

uh raced sketch go

somethin somethin alice silly ass dyer and somethin something sam " better than both legs " khalid.

[terrorofthetrident]

remembered that leak about aemond telling otto that he wished daeron was with them, which means aemond probably got along the best with him out of his siblings. when daeron left he then tried so hard to be friends with aegon and his nephews only to be bullied by them and in the end was left feeling so lonely..

[ladymorghul]

feels like they always made a point to show how ser harrold westerling was kind and nice to rhaenyra because he knew her for so long but that wasn't extended to alicent as well, even though she was also a girl in an unfortunate position.

[deadpuppetboi]

Me, when someone asks me about Alice Marion and why I think she’ll be a very important character in Outlast 3:

[majorshatterandhare]

Today I, an aromantic, was getting ready to attend a wedding… with Stranger on repeat.

[marperskid]

Why can't I ever win? Like for ONCE

[maleficarem]

Bleeding whenever you want Too tired to move, too tired to leave

[deadhermiteyes]

i have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth

[dorkygurl-89]

Y'ALL LIED

Y'ALL TRICKED ME

I THOUGHT PINOCCHIO WAS GONNA TALK. THE DAMN TWINK DON'T SPEAK???????

THE PINOCCHIO X ALICE SHIPPERS LIEDDDDDDDD 😭😭😭😭😭

[hypocritic-trash-baby]

Whoever decided this song fit Alicent:

You are right and I love you

[hacked-wtsdz]

Idk if this would make any sense from any point of view but. Alicent cannot process her desires and emotions and reactions properly due to the fact that her identity doesn’t exist outside of duty. She cannot process and, hence, act OR get over her love for Rhaenyra, because she has never been taught to do that. Not love, but treat love as a normal emotion that you can operate with and call real. She can’t process her trauma of child marriage, because she doesn’t want to be a child bride or give birth to children or care about them at such a young age, but wanting is not in her vocabulary. Like she says to Otto in ep 9, she never knew what she wanted because her desires were guided by him from the start. She can’t process her marital rape or hate for viserys because she can only love him. There are no words or mechanisms to even contemplate the fact that she was hurt both physically and emotionally because they are all tied to the concepts of bodily autonomy, personal tastes, personal wants. Alicent cannot want consciously, so all of her deep likes and dislikes remain unconscious, and she can’t move on or heal or act on them because then she’d have to go back to the very start and admit that it wasn’t the way she wanted. She’d have to admit that she can want, and that goes against the identity that she’s created for herself. You put that part of the mechanism in, and the mechanism as she knows it falls apart. She loves her children subconsciously (you imbecile). She wants them on the throne first of all because that’s what Otto wants. So it all stays inside of her and makes her life hell. That love for Rhaenyra that is revealed THE MOMENT Rhaenyra tries to make peace. That book page she’s been holding onto for ten years. It would be healthy to move on, but Alicent is incapable of that because moving on is tied to letting go of desire but how can you let go of something you cannot admit that you have?

[zootopiathingz]

Kara and Alice’s story is so under appreciated wtf

[comfyymoon]

me, every time a minor inconvenience occurs in my life: time to be gay bitches!! *re-watches heartstopper with an iced coffee*