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xsamsharons · 3 years

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i'd choose you - nikolai lantsov.

pairing: nikolai lantsov x reader

genre/warning: slight angst but other than that just fluff!

words: 3.1k.

summary: in which he finds you lost at sea and offers a place in his crew, but soon enough your past comes back to haunt you.

The first time he saw you, you were holding on to what was left of a rowboat, as the waves of the sea crashed around you and soaked your clothes. He immediately demanded that his crew pick you up and get you onto his own ship safely, to avoid the storm picking up and drifting you further away into sea. You had been rightfully shaken up once they’d managed to get you aboard, but between shivers and stutters, you’d been able to explain what had happened: the storm had hit your ship and sank it to the bottom of the ocean, along with everyone in your crew. Apparently, the reason why no one had been able to do anything about the storm, had been because the crew had just come out of a mutiny attempt, and everyone was trying to solve the mess it had left behind.

That night, he didn’t have to think twice and immediately offered to let you stay aboard his ship and travel with him, or drop you off at the nearest port, to which you replied with a smile and gratitude in your eyes that matched the soft look on his green ones. You’d told him that you would stay on the ship with them, seeing as anything that was waiting for you on land was currently at the bottom of the ocean along with any future plans you might’ve had.

Two months later, you were a vital part of Sturmhond’s crew, and had even grown close enough to other members of the crew, like Zoya, that you’d probably call more than one of them friends. You had quickly come to realize that something about your captain’s face was… weird, to put it lightly, but didn’t say anything for the first few weeks. Not wanting to bite the hand that feeds you and all that.

However, as time passed, you started to grow more and more suspicious, and once you finally confronted him about it, he told you the truth. You don’t know why he trusted you with his secret so early in your relationship, and, if he was being honest, neither did he. The rational part of his mind told him it was stupid to trust someone he’d known for only two months, and who, frankly, hadn’t told him much about his past. But Nikolai had never claimed to be a rational person by any stretch, and listened to the reckless voice inside his head once more, deciding to trust you against his better judgement.

After his secret was out, it felt like a barrier between the two of you had been lifted, and with it all the awkward small talk and formalities that seemed to linger around the both of you since the moment you met. Out went the formal captain, and in came the flirty prince.

Nikolai seemed to be everywhere you turned: relaxing against the railing and staring out at the sea? He’d appear a second later to tease you about being dramatic for staring out at it with such a somber look. Sparring with another member of the crew up on the main deck? He’d be there to make stupid remarks about your posture and technique. Finally going to your room after a long day? He’d be waiting by the door with a plate of food to share with you while sitting on your bed and talking about everything and anything, which is exactly what you were doing right now.

“Do you have a place you’ve always wanted to visit?” he asked you, back against your bed and eyes trained on the ceiling, one of his arms thrown under his head for support and the other placed on your thigh, rubbing his thumb in circular motions against your skin.

“Not really.” you shrugged, trying to ignore the blush that his hand placement had caused. “I had always liked Ravka when I was living there, and then always felt content at sea.”

“What do you like about the sea?” he asked, turning his head to face you.

“The freedom.” you replied, not missing a beat. He smiled at that, not smirked, but smiled. His smile was so soft and the skin by his eyes wrinkled at the motion, giving him a childlike look that melted your heart.

“The freedom?” he asked, and his eyes held so much emotion that they forced you to look away from him, staring instead down at your fiddling hands.

“Yeah.” you nodded. “Lots of things were expected from me back home, you know?”

“Oh, trust me, I know.” he laughed.

“Right, I forgot I was talking to a prince for a moment.” you laughed with him. “It’s just… no one expects anything from me here. Yeah, sure, I have to help on deck and follow orders, but I can just be myself. I don’t need to pretend to be anything I'm not.” you finished, and when you finally looked back at him, you found his eyes had never left your figure once while you talked.

You stayed like that for a while, staring at each other without saying anything out loud. The silence wasn’t awkward like it once had been when he’d just met you, instead, the silence seemed to be comforting; like an embrace on a cold rainy day or like a hot chocolate by the fire.

“What about you?” you asked, softly.

“What about me?” he repeated your words, dancing around the subject.

“Why the sea?”

“People like me here.” he shrugged, and you frowned.

“People like you everywhere.” you argued with a smile.

“You got that right.” he winked, causing you to roll your eyes. “People never like me for me back home.” he admitted, softly, his voice weak, as if that sentence was something he rarely said out loud. “I’m their prince, you know? They have to like me, but not here.” he finished.

“I like you for you.” you admitted, not used to seeing him be so unsure of himself.

“Do you, now?” he smirked, there was the Nikolai you knew. “If I knew all it took was a sob story to get you to be nice to me, I would've told you one sooner.” he continued, and you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Nikolai.” you told him, watching as he stood up and headed for your door, no doubt to make sure everything on the ship was in order and being taken care of before he retired for the night.

“Oh, but I let everything get to my head darling.” he winked, disappearing behind your closed door right after, leaving just you and your giddy smile behind.

After that conversation in your room, Nikolai had seemed to become the touchiest person ever. He’d hug you every morning as a greeting, kiss your forehead goodnight every night, and braid your hair anytime you decided to wear it down. Zoya had noticed, and every time he caught sight of your hand in his or his arm around your shoulders, she shot a knowing smirk your way, which never failed to make you shy away from her.

Speaking of the devil, you felt a hand rest upon your right leg before you saw him, sitting down on the floor next to you, backs pressed against the lower part of the ship’s railing. It was night, and you were just admiring the stars from the top deck, head thrown backwards and eyes fixed on the dark clear sky above you. The city had never provided views this beautiful, so every time the sky was free of clouds, you liked to take a moment to admire it.

“What are we looking at?” Nikolai asked from beside you, for some reason whispering, as if he was afraid to disturb you with any loud noises that could come out of his mouth.

“The stars, Nikolai.” you explained, turning to look at him with a roll of your eyes. However, once your eyes landed on him, you felt your heart stop and your breath catch on your throat. His soft eyes were gleaming with the stars reflecting on them, his face looked angelic when accompanied by the soft glow of the moon, and his messy hair after a day of work was framing his face like a frame would a drawing. He looked so beautiful, and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him.

“Well, right now I think you’re staring more at me than the stars, darling.” he teased with a soft smile, and moved the hand that was resting on your thigh up to your face. He didn’t cup your cheek like you thought he would, instead, he brushed his fingers against the side of your face softly, following the trace of his fingers with his eyes. “I’m not complaining, though.” he said once the movement of his hand halted, and he met your eyes once again.

“I bet you’re not.” you rolled your eyes. “You loved to be stared at.”

“By you? Of course.” he replied and you shook your head with a snort, looking down. Once you picked your head back up, he cupped your cheek and moved closer to you. His lips danced over yours as you breathed in shakily, hating the anticipation. “Are you sure you want this?”

You nodded before you spoke, “Yes,” you replied. “Please.”

He smirked at that, and finally leaned down to connect his soft lips with yours. You’d always laughed at anyone who’d ever told you that kissing the person they liked felt like fireworks, and while the kiss definitely made you feel like something exploded inside of you, you’d still laugh at them today. Because kissing Nikolai didn’t feel like fireworks, it felt calm; it felt the same way anything he did made you feel. Comforted, embraced, safe.

Nikolai kissed you that night, and he kissed you the next morning, and he kissed you more than once a day during the whole following month. Every time he kissed you, it felt exactly like it had that first night, and you found yourself thinking, more than once, how natural it all felt, and you easy it would be to get used to this - to him.

However, it seemed life had had enough of letting you be happy, for one morning when you woke up, everything came crashing down. The first indicator was that Nikolai was out of your, now, shared room when you first woke up; instead of waiting on his desk for you as he finished some work from the night before. Once you got upstairs, the second indicator of something being wrong, came in the form of a group of people all standing in a circle around something that you couldn’t quite spot, given that the crowd was shielding your view from it. And finally, the third indicator was him, the only memory of your past, standing next to Nikolai.

“He says he’s here to see you.” said Nikolai once he spotted you, his angry voice making you want to burst into tears. He didn’t sound like the Nikolai you had grown to know, he sounded like the ship captain that had picked you up that first night when you had been stranded.

“Can we not do this here?” you pleaded, somehow finding your voice and gesturing to the crowd of people around you with your hands. Nikolai didn’t look like he wanted to do anything you asked him to, but when his eyes met your pleading ones, he softened for half a second and nodded, before shouting at everyone to go back to their tasks and gesturing for you and him, who you hadn’t looked like a second time but could feel his eyes on you anyway, to follow him to his captain quarters.

“Care to explain who he is?” he asked you sternly, once the doors were closed behind the three of you.

“I’m-” he started, but Nikolai cut him off before he could even begin explaining.

“I don’t believe I asked you.” he said, focusing his eyes back on you.

“He’s my fiance, and I believe he’s here to take me… home.” you explained, unable to look at Nikolai in the eyes. The word ‘home’ in reference to that place felt foreign now, this ship had become your home during the past six months, the people in it your family, and Nikolai… well, you didn’t know what Nikolai had become but it was certainly more than the man standing next to you. As you lifted your head to meet his eyes, your heart broke into a million little pieces, his eyes didn’t just look hurt, they looked betrayed.

“That’s right.” The man beside you nodded, seemingly tired of you and Nikolai just staring at each other without saying anything. “We were arranged by our families, and the deal is the deal.”

“I’d advise you to stop talking and wait outside before I punch you in the face.” Nikolai said with the same stern tone he’d been talking in all morning, and your fiance reluctantly nodded his head before he went to stand outside of the room, closing the door behind him.

“Nikola-” you stared, before he interrupted.

“Are you going?” he asked, straight to the point. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked next, tears starting to form in his eyes and his voice breaking, the stern captain act dropped the second your fiance left the room.

“I thought he had died, he was with me on that ship and when it sank i… i just assumed he’d drowned with it.” you explained, tears of your own forming in your eyes and your voice sounding desperate.

“So, are you going or not?” he repeated his question, desperation evident in his voice as well.

“The deal is the deal, and when i thought he was dead that didn’t matter but my fami-”

“Screw them!” he shouted, interrupting you for the second time that day. “Do you want to? Because I remember you saying very clearly how you’d never felt free there, how only at sea you felt like you could truly be yourself!” he continued, stepping closer to you, his voice still raised. “Or was that just all a lie like everything else?” he asked, his voice no longer raised, but instead coming out as a whisper.

“Nikolai, nothing was a lie.” you shook your head, your hand coming up to cup the right side of his face and your thumb brushing a small stray tear away from his face. His eyes closed at your touch, and he drew in a shaky break that shattered your heart. “I would stay if I could, I would choose you.” you whispered, his eyes still closed and tears blurring your own once again as you thought about your next words. “I lov-” you began.

“No.” he shook his head, stepping back and grabbing your hand to pull it away from him. “Don’t say that, not now.” he continued once he had created enough distance between the two of you. “Just do what you gotta do. If you have to leave, then do so, but not like that.” he finished, and you nodded your head.

“Goodbye then, Nikolai.” you whispered, closing the distance between the two of you and planting one last kiss on his cheek. As you closed the door behind you, you heard a clattering noise and a shout come from his room, and you knew he had thrown all of the things that were neatly placed on his desk, to the floor.

You avoided everyone’s eyes as you climbed onto the stowaway boat your fiance had arrived in, and you avoided his gaze as well as he paddled you to the ship he’d used to navigate in open water. Members of his crew were waiting on the side of the ship, throwing a rope-made stair for both of you to use as a climbing method. He climbed first, leaving the paddles on your boat, and it wasn’t until you were about to grip the rope that what you were doing hit you. You couldn’t leave.

Not only couldn’t you leave Nikolai, but you also couldn’t leave the only thing that had made you feel free in so long for, what? Keeping a deal with your family? Your family will be pretty damn pleased once you return with a prince, you thought. Once you made up your mind, you grabbed the paddled that were still on the boat, and started heading back in the direction of Nikolai’s ship. You ignored the shouts that came from behind you that served only as a reminder of the life you’d let behind, they weren’t home anymore, Nikolai was.

Once you were close enough to the ship, you started shouting everyone’s name to see if they could hear you, not using Nikolai’s real name to avoid exposing him. Heads started to peek through the railing, and someone called for the captain to come see what was happening.

Once Nikolai finally appeared and glanced down at you, you couldn’t believe how you’d almost considered leaving him. The situation felt all too familiar; you in a stowaway boat and him pulling you up above his ship. Even tailored as Sturmhond, he looked as beautiful as ever, with the wind blowing the hair out his face and the sun making his green eyes shine brighter than usual.

“You gonna pull me up or what?” you asked with a smirk, and he smiled so wide you thought he might freeze like that forever.

Once you were safely aboard the ship, he tackled you into a hug so tight your lungs probably stopped breathing for a moment. “Please don’t leave me again.” he whispered into your neck, the crew quickly realizing how private the moment was and leaving you two to it.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” you hugged him back, using the same force as him. “I love you.” you finally spoke the words you had wanted to earlier in his room.

“I know.” he replied with a smirk once he pulled away, and while normally you would want to punch the smirk right off his face, now you could cry at the familiarity of his teasing nature and how much you would’ve missed it if you had left. “I love you too.” he said, cupping your face and leaning down closer to your lips. Though, before actually kissing you, he spoke against your lips once more. “Just to be clear, you don’t have any more life changing secrets? No secret child or secret superpower that you would like to disclose? Now is the tim-” this time, you were the one interrupting his teasing words, by pulling him by the collar of his shirts and finally pressing your lips to him.

“You’re an idiot.” you said once you pulled away.

“You love me, though.” he smirked. “You can’t retract it.”

“Can't I?” you laughed.

“No." he shook his head. "Hate to break it to you, love, no take-backs with me. You’re trapped now” he said and you laughed once again.

You were completely fine with that.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov fic #nikolai x reader #nikolai fanfic #nikolai imagine #nikolai duology #king of scars #rule of wolves #six of crows #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #siege and storm #ruin and rising #grishaverse #sturmhond

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the-last-dillpickle · 2 years

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DS9 prompts under the cut from 2012 dark-fest on LJ

- Julian Bashir, the evidence for Julian being a Dominion spy was quite compelling when you look at it. What if he really was fooling everyone?

- any character or pairing, being right is cold consolation indeed.

- Elim Garak, some ghosts won't stay buried.

- AU!Odo/AU!Kira, the Intendant can't let a species so rare pass her bed by

- Kira, nightmares about what she did during the Occupation

- Odo/Kira, there's no cure for the disease, and Kira has to watch Odo slowly die.

- Odo, it's not so easy to forgive Dr. Mora after all. Perhaps Odo shouldn't even try.

- Garak/Bashir, Julian Bashir is captured and tortured by Gul Dukat or any Cardassian or combination thereof to exact revenge on Garak. Severely traumatized, Julian only responds to O'Brien and won't let anyone else touch him, especially Garak due to his appearance. How does this affect Garak, their relationship, and what does Garak do to regain Julian's trust, if it's not to late to do so? How dark and other details are up to you.

- Julian Bashir, a man comes aboard DS9 to exact revenge on Dr. Bashir once he finds out the doctor is an augment because many of this man's ancestors were killed at the hands of Kahn. Abduction, imprisonment, torture, agony. All else is up to you.

- Odo takes an unusual form to spy on Quark. Really bad things of your choice happen.

- Kira Nerys/The Intendant, Leather

- Kira Nerys/The Intendant, plaything

- any, life under Dominion rule.

- any, possessed by a Pah Wraith.

- Kira Nerys, after Cardassia and the Dominion fall, Bajor takes over, peacekeeping becomes occupation in a whisper.

- Intendant Kira, compassion and cruelty go hand-in-hand.

- Elim Garak, being stuck in a small enclosed space surrounded by Starfleet personnel was not what he had in mind when he had accepted this little job Sisko had given him.

- Garak, he knew exactly when Julian was replaced by a Changeling.

- Julian Bashir, what made him finally agree to join Section 31.

- MU!Bashir/Our!Bashir; mirror!Bashir sees in his counterpart everything he could have been, and wants to destroy it.

- Julian Bashir; See the huge scar on the side of his neck? How do you think he got that?

- any/all main characters, they never actually escaped the simulation machine in 'The Search, Part II.' When they're finally released, the fate of the Alpha Quadrant is worse than they could have ever imagined.

- Odo/Kira, unable to stand the idea of a Changeling bonding with a solid, the Founders transform Kira into a Changeling. To say she has difficulty adjusting would be putting it far too mildly.

- Garak's attempted genocide against the Founders is successful.

- Elim Garak, Kira Nerys/Julian Bashir, Does NOT need to be a pairing. Julian returns from the MU with Kira after almost being tortured by the Intendant in the episode "Crossover" only to pretend that he was not abused by MirrorOdo or nearly killed slowly by torture for all to see on the Promenade. Kira takes a hint from Garak and confronts Bashir to get him to open up. Julian is not happy. Garak can help Kira in the "intervention".

- Julian Bashir, Benjamin Sisko. Post "Inquisition" and "Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges". Julian is angry for being made to accept Section 31's offer to work for them after being tortured by the Romulans. He confronts Sisko. Things don't go well.

- Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Miles O'Brien, Julian is once again kidnapped by Section 31 and is kept hidden away while being drugged, brainwashed, and trained to be the "ultimate human weapon". Garak tracks him down and brings Miles who has access to the heavy artillery. Are they in time to save him?

- Julian Bashir, Bashir is attacked by a group of humans opposing and despising genetically enhanced people after learning Bashir gets to remain in Starfleet.

- Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Instead of Nog, it's Julian who gets taken as a hostage by the drug-crazed Garak in the episode "Empok Nor". The story does not need to follow the events of the episode.

- Julian Bashir, Felix Julian's holo-program writing friend Felix has been paid an enormous amount of money to work for the Cardassians to help win the Dominion War. He sends Julian a program that disables the safeties.

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ishibishie · 3 years

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i said i would maybe do this two weeks ago but i'm on a steven loving high and i saw a stupid post that was basically brainless bashing and hate in his tag so i'm here to fix this with steven love and ramble about the baby boy with a........

27 RANDOM STEVEN HEADCANONS POST!

uh cw for mentioning dead parents ig. there's a lot of dead parent stuff here sorry

- steven is asexual and aromantic. he discovered this a bit "late" when he was about 20 years old. despite his high profile in hoenn, he isn't very open about his sexuality and has only come out to a handful of close friends, the first being wallace. it was also wallace who gave him the black ring he wears.

- steven is half galarian on his mother's side. he would often visit the region with her before she died, and steven has very fond memories of watching gym matches: those battles are what inspired him to become a pokemon trainer along with his mother having been one herself in galar before she moved to hoenn. his favorite place in galar is wyndon city and he loves finding any excuse to hop aboard the trains scattered throughout the region to see all the unique scenery pass by and collect rare new stones for his collection.

- he adores space and astronomy! when he can't sleep he'll go outside and look at the stars until he eventually dozes off. this also led him to look into the mythology behind the constellations he sees, and he's had a few passionate conversations with cynthia about pokemon mythology.

- when nervous, steven tends to bite his nails. this has led to many scoldings and impromptu manicure sessions from wallace!

- his biggest fear is ghost type pokemon as he hates thinking about the concept of death. he also dislikes very strong thunderstorms, and being left alone for long amounts of time.

- as a result of his pampered childhood, steven is a bit of an attention seeker. he tends to get fussy and impatient when nobody acknowledges or listens to him. there was an isolated incident of steven throwing a pebble he had in his pocket at someone to make them pay attention when he was at his limit.

- likewise, he absolutely hates getting dirty when he's not caving. a single blemish of dirt on his nice clothes will drive him mad. he hates being disorganized and is a bit of a clean freak.

- he's a big contest fanboy! if a day off and a contest line up on the same day, expect to see steven somewhere in the audience cheering the coordinators on.

- steven and his father have a rocky relationship ever since his mother died. steven always wanted to become a pokemon trainer like his mother, but his father wanted him to take over the devon corporation one day. this unwanted pressure from his father ultimately led to steven running away from home to pursue his dreams when he was 14. now, they're still on speaking terms, but that's not to say steven looks forward to and enjoys their conversations. things only got worse when steven came out to his father and was brushed off as "going through a phase". despite everything, steven one day wishes to reconcile with his father and hopes that they can be as close as they were before his mother died.

- the one thing steven regrets most is never saying goodbye to his mother. the last thing he told her was "see you tomorrow!" before she died the very next day

- he met wallace during the time he ran away from home. the two met in lilycove city, where wallace was practicing for a contest and steven happened to be in the city. steven was intrigued by wallace's skills and ability to charm him with his pokemon. the first thing steven said to wallace was a compliment about his pokemon and the two decided to spend the day hanging out. they've been best friends ever since, and steven tends to see wallace as the big brother he never had and his main source of advice.

- he loves to write, whether it's journalling or taking notes about the rare stones he finds. however, he uses the same notebook for everything so his journal entries are often bordered by crammed-in notes about rocks. good luck reading anything, though: he has very small and cursive handwriting.

- steven is a disaster in the kitchen. the only thing he can make without any risk of burning his house down is a cup of tea.

- he's a big nature lover! in contrast to his sheltered life as the son of the ceo of a big business, he enjoys looking at flower gardens and finds any chance he can to lay down on a grassy hill and let the world move by without a care.

- he enjoys classical music and can play the flute!

- due to how he grew up without many real friends as a kid, steven tends to act a bit childish in personal social situations. he'll simply say whatever's on his mind without thinking twice and randomly cut in whenever someone else is speaking. not to mention he's terrible at holding eye contact. more "professional" conversations are where he shines as his parents taught him everything about etiquette.

- steven is polite to a fault: he usually has trouble telling people no and doesn't like to intrude on other people's conversations even if he was invited to such a conversation. it can make normal small talk awkward for both parties.

- his favorite place in hoenn is sootopolis city. he adores being surrounded by history while chatting with wallace at a local cafe, not to mention taking in the beautiful scenery at night.

- clear, sunny days are his favorites. when he travels to a colder region and gets caught in a sudden snowfall, he likes to watch it snow as it's an extreme rarity in hoenn.

- he loves to read and often wears a pair of reading glasses when he finds the time to open a book.

- steven carries a few special items with him wherever he goes: these include his key stone, the first gym badge he ever earned, an old pocket knife that belonged to his mother, and his mother's galar gym challenge league card.

- he's great at various card games. it's best to cut your losses if you make a bet with steven and he pulls out a deck of cards!

- it's easy to tell if steven is lying: he'll always rock back on his heels and bite his lower lip when doing so. using this knowledge is limited however, as steven doesn't tend to lie very often.

- his favorite food is galarian curry, especially the kind his mother used to make. he also enjoys sampling the cuisine from other regions, especially kalos. when it's time for dessert, he'll never pass up: he's got a bit of a sweet tooth!

- steven is a very laid-back person and hardly anything can really upset him. he tends to laugh off any embarrassing blunders he makes and will sometimes make small quips and jokes at his own expense. however, saying anything bad about the devon corporation will cause him to go on a profane offense, a bit ironic considering his odd and shaky relationship with the company.

- steven wears his jacket everywhere he goes. he's always complaining about being cold and it baffles everyone how he can keep wearing his blazer even in the dead heat of hoenn's summers. since he's always freezing, you can often find him at home wrapped in the fluffiest blanket he owns near the fire.

- even though he's champion of hoenn, steven still feels like he's working towards his initial dream of making his mother proud. he really only sees his championship title as one of many steps he still wants to take to live the life and dreams his mother hoped he would achieve!

(i copy pasted this from my phone notes so if the format is screwy, sorry!)

EDIT 8-30-21: yes i lowkey made this post to combat the people who are bashing on steven for getting a mega evolving rayquaza and posting this hate on his tag. it's fine to not like steven or how zinnia didn't get the mega rayray but for the love of god DON'T post hate in steven's tag! the people checking his tag are people who like him and we really don't appreciate you mindlessly calling our baby boy a racist bitch because you're salty. i'm sure you wouldn't like it if i went into zinnia's tag and posted "haha suck it side character" so. don't be a bitch. be considerate, okay?

#steven stone #headcanons #he's just such a good little bean #not art

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pearl-blue-musings · 3 years

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CAN I ORDER A MEDIUM WELL STEAK WITH FRENCH FRIES AND GREEN BEANS? WITH SOY SAUCE(sero)?? (ur sero angst made me tear up)

Hi yes of course I’m so sorry that angst made you cry 😭 but hopefully this will change those sad tears to happy tears!

To others with requests I’ll get to those! I wanted to do something not sex related cause that’s what most of the requests are 😅

Pairing: Sero Hanta x fem!reader there was just no way

Enjoy your meal~

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sero Hanta. Two semesters away from being a college graduate and applying his techniques from all his schooling into his pro hero work: soulmate-less.

He remembers turning ten years old and seeing the magical red string on his pinky show up one day. The excitement he had at knowing he had a soulmate outmatched most of his friends at the time. He knew from his parents that little tugs on his pinky meant he and his soulmate were nearby and the tugs would increase, not to the point of pain, when they would finally meet.

He felt the first tug on his pinky a week or so after he got his string, telling him that there was indeed someone on the other end. But he never felt a tug after that. Sero didn’t let that shake him as he entered high school at UA.

However, it did start to bother him greatly.

One by one, it seemed that almost everyone he met in his three years there found their soulmate in someway or another. Whether it was in class, at a festival, at an internship, or even on the job. Everyone had someone. Except him.

Never him.

So by the time Hanta had turned 18, he had given up on his soulmate; the defeating blow coming after doing some late night pre-graduation research.

Some people don’t even meet their soulmate

Sometimes if there hasn’t been any tugging for awhile, their soulmate could be dead and the string fades away.

Sometimes soulmates aren’t romantic and the person on the other side meets someone who isn’t their soulmate; very rare but it does happen.

He wanted to vomit. There’s no way they’re dead otherwise his string would have faded. But it might as well be that considering the odds of him meeting anyone new. Sero exhales deeply as he shuts off his laptop and goes to bed.

Although, there was a slight spark of hope in him when he decided to pursue his hero studies further before becoming a full fledged hero by applying to a hero university. However with his luck, it seems entirely unlikely.

He slams his pillow over his head and tries to sleep away the sinking feeling at still feeling nothing on his pinky

***********

(Y/f/n). New hero law student at one of the best hero universities in the world and finished her undergrad early at the top of her class: soulmate-less.

She can remember the moment when she turned ten and that mysterious red string appeared on her pinky, feeling an immediate tug. It made her heart soar at the possibility of finding a love like her parents. However, her parents’ story wasn’t usual in the world of soulmates.

Her mother’s original soulmate had died in a strange accident and she thought she would never love again. But then a couple months later a new purple string showed up and she found (Y/n)’s father. An unusual story but a lovely story nonetheless. She feared that her soulmate would die and she would have to suffer the same fate as her mother.

But no such color appeared, and tugs on her pinky were all but non existent.

It was depressing for the budding young hero lawyer, but she knew what her goal in life was and that was to help heroes and civilians alike under the law. It’s not that she didn’t want to become a hero, but being a human lie detector she felt her quirk could be used to better society and help out the good people and put away the bad.

That’s why she knew she had to go to Japan, soulmate be damned!

She knew of All Might, the notorious school U.A. and their students, along with the infamous League of Villains. Nothing like that happened where she was from so everything about that intrigued her. So naturally when applying to finish out her law degree, of course she’d choose a place where all the action was! She couldn’t wait to get her hands dirty.

***********

With his final class of the day ending in the early afternoon, Sero left the lecture hall and went directly to the hero agency he’s been part timing at. Since he was still a college student, he couldn’t commit fully to being a hero so he took whatever patrol hours he could on top of the work he did (and don’t forget those smoke sessions to take off the load from school). He’s met with one of best friends from school, Kirishima, who also works at this agency established by his other best friend, Bakugou.

“You’re late, soy sauce face.”

“Sorry dude,” Sero chuckles, “couldn’t get on the early bus here.”

“Yeah yeah. Just get ready for patrol with Shitty Hair.” The ashy blond scoffs and walks off, returning to a phone call he was having. Sero rolls his eyes as he heads to the locker room to change into his hero uniform, ignoring the twitching of his fingers. It’s still so weird how some people do and don’t recognize him at school as Cellophane. But that’s the way it has to be.

“Hey man, I don’t know if Bakugou told you this but we’re getting someone new.”

Sero pauses in putting on his hero outfit to look at the taller and buffer male. “Oh really? Another sidekick?”

“Actually no,” Kirishima beams, “some kind of lawyer type. It was decided after some hero managers and publicists were talking and the need for a hero lawyer, even one in training, would be good for us.”

“I totally get it,” Sero agrees, “considering Bakugou’s temper? Not surprised at all.” He finishes getting dressed and places his belongings in his locker. “So when are we meeting the unlucky bastard that has to look after us?”

“Either today or tomorrow. Either way, I think it’ll be great. You studied some hero law stuff, yeah?” Sero nods and the two men head out for patrol. “Maybe you two can talk and have something in common! You may never know.”

They turn the corner and begin on their way. “I appreciate you looking out for me, but I’m okay not having to meet my soulmate. I’ll just be single forever. It’s all good.” His fingers start to burn in a weird way but he shrugs it off.

The red head grunts, unconvinced. “Sure man. Whatever you say. Let’s hope patrol is relatively quiet, yeah?”

“Heh, when is it ever?”

*******

After getting settled into the apartment, you had gathered your belongings and hurriedly made your way to the nearest bus stop. You had your first meeting with the new agency you would be working at for hands on experience with hero law. It wasn’t necessary for your degree, but when you saw the opportunity arise, you grabbed it.

Once aboard the bus, you sit down by the window and mentally go through your bag. You have your school credentials, any and all letters of recommendation, your resume and CV, plus a good head shot should they need it. You are on your way to meeting one of the rising heroes of Japan, Dynamight, at his agency. Since it’s a relatively popular agency filled with well known heroes, it makes sense that someone like you would be needed. You had wondered why they didn’t have someone who was already a certified and bar-passed lawyer, but you’re not going to complain.

The bus ride went along pleasantly, not really looking at the people around you and focusing more on how to sell yourself to your upcoming clients. You’ve met with your advisor and she is letting you work with her firm via the hero agency. You’re pretty excited to say the least. However, the whole time you’ve been in Japan, a little over a week, you’ve been feeling that pull on your pinky.

Not wanting that to ruin your mood, or your bus ride, you ignore it and think it’s one of those rare phenomena where it’s moving wildly on its own. You’re so caught up in your thoughts that you hadn’t realized the bus had stopped moving and the passengers were all sitting closer to you.

The poor bus driver shakes in fear and the two villains that have entered the bus, striking fear into the passengers. You spot the supposed leader who’s yelling into someone’s face when you gather your courage and stand up.

“Hey! Leave them alone, they’re not doing anything to you!”

Your loud voice caught the attention of the villains, one whose quirk has some sort of telekinesis as you feel your body being unknowingly brought toward the front of the bus.

The man has his face up close to yours and you can smell the nicotine on his breath, making you cough. “You got something to say to me little girl?” His cohort comes over to inspect you carefully, noting the money and jewelry they’ve already procured and you eye them sharply.

You cough in his face and continue, “yeah I do. What makes you think you can just come up in here and harass us?” You motion your back hand to the scared passengers to leave, remembering the doors in the back. You also didn’t know that the bus driver had already pinged for help from the nearby agency, alerting its patrolling heroes.

******

Both Sero and Kirishima feel their phones buzz with an alert. They look to each other and start heading toward the coordinates provided. There was a bit more sense of urgency to this for some reason that Sero can’t quite place.

The closer they get, they see some fleeing civilians. Kirishima stops one and politely asks her what’s happened.

“These two villains jumped on the bus and hurt the bus driver! They were stealing things until this young woman stood up to them. She told us all to leave but I’m not sure what’s happened to her!”

The two heroes nod and follow the direction of where the lady pointed. They run off toward it and stop a block away to assess the situation. Only a handful of cops are around as it has quickly turned into a hostage situation. The woman earlier was right, and that makes Sero’s heart race in fear.

“I can sneak up to the side of the bus, head toward the back to check for an entrance.”

Kirishima hums and adds, “right, I can attack from the front, provide a distraction and if necessary close combat.” He breathes to collect himself, knowing they’ve done this a thousand times over. “Let’s do it.”

Sero nods and leaps into position. He takes his place on the side of the bus without alerting the villains or the hostage. The cool metal of the bus helps him to clear his mind and think carefully. His nerves must be getting to him because his fingers, more like his pinky, can’t stop twitching. He’s done this before, so why is this time different.

He almost gives up his position when he hears your voice.

“You’re just some low life petty criminals. I’m not too worried about you two.”

There it is. That little tell when you know you’ve got someone in your clutches. The mind based one seemed to falter and you knew he was going to act out in anger. And you were betting on it.

“Shut up stupid woman. You think I won’t do something to hurt you? Take you down a peg, huh? Because you look like you need to be tamed.”

Your time practicing cross-examining is paying off because that last statement terrified you. Villains are shameless and you know they’d have no problem defiling you in front of the police here; plus you were interrogating him. It got the people out and if you die saving some people then it would have all been worth it.

The two young heroes listening for the right moment give each other a look and both move in to do their parts. The loud red head getting the attention of the villains using his charm and personality to distract them while Sero sneaks into the bus, light on his feet to avoid detection.

Something in you sends shivers down your spine because you don’t even have to see him to know that he’s there. You, almost on instinct, duck down in order for Cellophane to apprehend both criminals and for Red Riot to keep them face down on the floor. You feel tape being wrapped around you and pulled toward the back, but the sensation should’ve come from your waist, not your pinky.

“Are you okay? That was extremely brave standing up to those guys and getting everyone out.”

His voice was unexpected but it drew you in, almost like it’s something you’ve been waiting for your whole life. The hero in question looks down at you and you feel him flinch. He takes off his helmet to get a good look at you and the moment seems to go on forever.

It’s not until you look down at your pinky’s is when it finally hits the two of you.

You had met the other end of your soulmate line. And there he is. His eyes go wide and you immediately get lost in their shape and shade. Is this the feeling your mother described when first meeting your soulmate? Magical? Indescribable? Gosh what is he feeling?

“You, you’re....”

“My soulmate...” you finish.

Sero hadn’t realized that he still had you wrapped in his tape from rescuing you but he doesn’t want to let you go. He spots the tears falling from your eyes and gently places his hand against your cheek and wipes them away. It’s like his hand was made for holding your face and he doesn’t want to let go. He wants to keep holding you like this because for so long, he had resided to being single but, you’re here and you’re real.

“Yo Cellophane, put your helmet on we’ve gotta talk to the police and- oh my god no way.”

The two of you are interrupted by Red Riot who had returned to check on his friend after he hadn’t come out with you, the hostage, yet. The two of you look to the buff man and then back at each other, and cute and embarrassed chuckle leaving your lips.

“I guess we should leave, I have to give a statement and all.”

“And get your injuries checked. Sorry if I pulled you too hard.”

“No no it’s fine! Uh, what’s your name?”

“Ah, uh, Cellophane. But my friends, and now you my soulmate mi amor, can call me Sero Hanta.”

He kisses your hand then and if you were in a courtroom you would’ve lost the case at the way your composure is failing you. It takes everything in you to not faint, because everything you had read was true about the first time you meet your soulmate. Out of this world.

You’re brought back to reality, when a police officer comes in asking what the hold up was. You two were forced apart and Hanta reapplied his helmet. Even with it on, he can’t stop looking at you. And now that his soulmate is finally within arms reach he doesn’t plan on letting you go.

The four of you, including Red Riot and the cop, walk out of the bus. The cop directs his attention to you and gruffly asks. “So what were you doing on the bus? Why did you stand up for those civilians when you aren’t a hero?”

You looked at him incredulously. You understand he’s doing his job but what kind of question is that? “I was on my way to a meeting at Dynamight’s agency. I was preparing my reading notes as their knew hero lawyer and representative and I saw this happening! How was I supposed to stay back and do nothing?”

As the cop writes down some of your statement, the other two accompanying you are dumbstruck. “Wait, Kiri starts, “you’re our new lawyer?!”

Your eyes widen when you put two and two together. “No way, you work for him?”

Sero lights up, “work for him? We’ve been best friends since our days at U.A.! Who would’ve thought I would meet you today huh?”

You turn to him again, still shocked at the mere audacity of meeting your soulmate today, or ever. Stuck in a war with yourself, you reach out and tangle your fingers with his, just to have his touch once more. “I had given up on finding my soulmate,” you softly admit, afraid to meet his eyes.

He takes his helmet off again, away from prying eyes and focuses his attention on you. “So did I, corazon.” He had placed a hand onto your cheek like earlier and rubbed comforting circles on your soft skin. You hadn’t realized how close the two of you had gotten until he whispers, “May I?”

You nod, and gently lean into his kiss. If meeting each other was the appetizer, then kissing for the first time was like a meal and dessert. It was so chaste, yet so filled with emotions locked away that are now begging to be overflowed into the light. You two pull away, looks of awe and maybe love adorn you faces as you attempt to lean in again.

“I hate to break up the love fest,” Kirishima interrupts looking bashful. “But we’ve got some paperwork to fill out and all that so, we gotta go. And hey, we can take you to the agency after we’re done at the station, I’m sure Dynamight’s eager to meet you.”

Despite everything that had been happening, you had completely forgotten about your meeting, and hurry to call your new employer. You’re on the phone for only a couple minutes, but it gives Kirishima and Sero time to talk.

“So, who would’ve guessed you finally meet your soulmate today huh?”

“Yeah.”

“And I was right there too!”

“Si.”

“Are you listening to me?”

Hanta was listening, but was too busy looking at you and already thinking that he can’t wait to fall in love with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

#answered #the diner #sero hanta #sero hanta x reader #sero hanta x you #sero x reader #sero x y/n #soulmate au #this is actually pretty cute

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musedblues · 4 years

Text

From The Shadows

summary: Gwilym is full of secrets. People in town seem to know them all. You've got to decided who, and what to believe.

a/n: Once upon a time, I fell asleep in the middle of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, promptly dreamed this whole thing up, and then told @brianmays-hair I'd write it for her birthday. Better late than never, aye? So here... whatever this is, is! Suspend your disbelief and try to enjoy this actual 1950's fever dream? (I truly cannot believe I've done this)

w/c: 15k

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

He didn't want for it to happen... the accident. Of course he didn't. But he did think moving here would be safe. Gwilym soon realized no place was safe. So he settled, and he lived with a thousand regrets, and he stopped dreaming anything would ever change.

///

You couldn't think up one good reason to say no.

Your aunt was an elusive Hollywood costume designer, who rarely showed up for the holidays. But when she passed on, she left her home to you. With your sister long married and moved away, and you parents happily retired, there was nothing stopping you from packing up and heading out.

Sure you liked the place you'd been living in, and your mediocre life there. But there was something about the timing. When had life ever awarded anyone such a bold-faced fresh start without something taxing having been the catalyst? So with the stars seeming to have perfectly aligned, you moved to Bodega Bay.

It was her summer home. A place you'd never been too, but the one your aunt ended up secluding herself to for the last decade or so. If she liked it well enough to die there, it must have been a lovely place. Maybe it was foolish of you to take what you could carry and crash in a place you knew nothing about. But there was some undeniable force pushing you along, a little voice in your head urging you not to squander this divine change of pace. Besides, you could use a little more sunshine.

The ride there was long and silent, as the cab driver seemed keener on training his ear to the ball game on the radio. You kept an eye out the window and watched the ocean appear between neighbourhoods and pockets of green. The water seemed to welcome you, showing more of itself the closer you got to where you were going. But the waves became less fierce and foamy as you turned into the town tucked between the rolling raised land. There was a calm sapphire bay surrounding the place that sparkled in the midday sun, and you realized at first glance what must have drawn people to settle here. It was picture-perfect, like nothing could go wrong. Or if it had, the beauty of it all might've shone bright enough to drown everyone's sorrows.

"This is all the further I can take you." The driver parked near a boardwalk that split into rows of docks. You thanked him, collected your things, and turned to find someone you might be able to ask for a bit of direction.

///

Every day was the same for Gwilym. He woke up, rowed across the bay, and worked until he got to row back home and enjoy the solitude. When he wasn't tending to the garden he bothered keeping, he was working at the shop on the dock; unloading crates from ships, and setting them in trucks that rode to different businesses around town. Then he'd carry the boxes meant for the dock shop into the back room and sort through what he could before it was time to go home, where the quiet was a comfort.

He spoke of business with the shopkeep, and hardly much more with anyone else. That was the way it had to be. As the Englishman gave a nod to the man who gave him work, Gwilym wondered if he'd ever be able to repay the man. He was one of the few people here who treated Gwilym with any kind of benevolence. It was hatred or less, otherwise. And some days his invisibility weighed more sorrowfully on Gwilym's heart than anything.

Tonight, as he shuffled down the rickety dock and stepped onto his boat that stirred with the water, Gwilym was unusually interrupted.

"Hiya." A voice came, sweet and unsure. It was the hesitation in her tone that made him look her way. The wonder in her voice wasn't as malice as he'd come to recognize. But he looked up and saw her and wished he never did. Her features were perfectly aligned and her pale dress fit her form with grace. He looked at her and held his breath for a new reason among the others, and hoped her question was simple; because the longer he looked, the more he wanted to help her, and he knew that wasn't possible.

"I've just arrived and I'm trying to find my way around here." She rested two suitcases down, and shuffled closer to where Gwyilm paused in his leaning to untether his ride from its mooring.

"Do you know this address?" The woman extended a slip of paper with numbers and a street name scrawled in messy cursive. He looked upon it and knew. Of course, he knew the address. There weren't very many paths to weave between in Bodega Bay.

With a quick glance around, Gwilym saw the calm waters surrounding the island beyond the docks. He noticed the stillness of the town too, and wondered what to do.

"Yes, you're looking for a house on the island," Gwilym spoke, reluctantly turning his head toward the middle of these waters. The woman's brows curved up and her glance turned, too.

"There are usually men with boats who offer rides for a dollar or more. It appears none of them are around just yet." Gwilym sighed. He used to worry about letting people down. But over the year, he worried less about what people thought of him and more over if they'd dare to speak out about it. But now, with this stranger, Gwilym felt an urgent pang to extend an offer her way, even though he knew better than to do so.

"I can give you a ride there now, if your going is dire. The others will likely be round in a couple of hours, otherwise." He hesitated in voicing his offer, the only warning he could give without all but scaring her away.

"Oh, could you?" She grinned brightly. "I've only got those two bags and I'd be awfully grateful for a lift."

If this was a cruel trick, Gwilym decided he'd willingly pay the price, for her. She seemed genuine and clueless in his presence. But he recognized she was smart enough, and if she stayed here long, this ride would come to haunt her. That thought nearly made him take it all back and deny her help. Save her trouble in the long run. But she was already shuffling to collect her things with a smile.

///

The idyllic little town with pastel structures settled on the water's edge could only be made more enchanting by the kinds of people who occupied here.

When you breezed toward the man at the end of the wooden walkway, you hadn't known exactly what to expect. But a tall, handsome Englishmen wasn't it. He seemed stoic. Maybe exhausted from a long day. His eyes were a shade of blue you'd never seen the likes of, not even in the crystal waters that lapped along the boardwalk.

He took the two cases you'd brought along and helped you aboard his modest boat with a crisp sail, with one strong hand. If this was the start of your staying here, you wondered what was around the corner. Was it much too soon to hope his face would be some kind of constant?

The island wasn't far. You could see homes and speckles of gardens from the place you'd sailed off from. But the ride was only as fast as the waters and wind allowed. Time enough for a conversation to sprout past the heavy silence.

"So I take it you aren't one who offers rides, often?" You wondered, from the spot you'd settled, soaking up the scenery.

"No. There are a few others, who cater to folks who've lived here for years. There is no one waiting around to ferry newcomers, because there never really are any."

"Then I caught you right on time." You smiled. He seemed to try, but struggled to return the expression.

"You'll want to keep an eye out for Dean," The man said, steering the boat against a breeze. "He's give's plenty of lifts for a decent price."

"But what's your name?" You wondered, in the middle of the bay now, with the most handsome man you'd ever laid your eyes upon.

"I'm Gwilym." He pursed his smile and turned his eyes toward the water and you started to wonder if he'd had more than just a bad day. The rest of the ride was quiet. And even when you made it to land, the man who'd been kind enough to give you a lift kept his mouth shut. He handed you your bags with a cagy grin and pointed you in the right direction as you thanked him one last time. He stayed on his boat, tying ropes to posts as you headed on your way. And though you wanted to look back on your trek down a dirt path peppered with homes, you didn't.

///

It was just like her papers said it would be. Fully furnished, with a nice view. Out of the east, you could see the bay past patches of trees, and it seemed to stretch out until it met the sky.

Sun fluttered through old dusty curtains, and there were even still pill bottles and bandaids in the medicine cabinet. You breezed from the garish pink bathroom, through the steel green master suite to find the halls were empty of picture frames.

In the kitchen, you searched through the ivory white cabinets and found most of the cans of food were outdated, and the water had yet to be turned back on. So with your bags left sitting near the white brick fireplace, you took the key you'd found below the welcome mat, and floated down the path toward the dock nearest your side of the island.

There was someone waiting there, a boy with his feet kicked back in a big canoe. You had that thought again, about how perfect things seemed here, but this time it was paired with the smallest twinge of doubt.

"Hi, uh, would you happen to be someone I could ask a ride from?" You stepped nearer toward the small wooden dock and watched a young man with a bright smile and dark hair sit up from his boat.

"Sure enough." He grinned up to you, as you paused, unsure of the etiquette of this way of things. "I'm Dean." The boy's smile broadened as he lifted a hand to his brow, to shield the sun as he looked your way. "You must be who has moved into that old Davis place."

"Ah yes, she was my aunt." You noted, understanding how small this broken up town must have been, for a stranger to know your business. Dean nodded and gestured you in for a lift.

"Well," said the man you assumed might have been only a few years older than you, pushing an oar against sinking land. "Welcome to Old Money!"

"That's a funny way of pronouncing Bodega Bay." You grinned, settling on the wooden bench across from him.

"This place used to be full of faces as young as ours. But most moved around the bend to Hollywood. So now it's mostly just old rich bastards, and a few of their spoiled rich kids, here." Dean told.

"And which of the two are you?" You rose a brow to the guy as he rowed along.

"The latter, I'm afraid."

You chuckled at his honest nod and turned to admire what you could see of the town as you floated closer toward it. "What a strange place, indeed."

"Is that all you make of Bodega Bay so far?" Dean wondered, not offended in his asking, but truly curious it seemed.

"Well, so far I've only just arrived and found my way to the island. I would have thought the town abandoned if I hadn't gotten lucky to catch a gent just leaving the harbour." You laughed a little as Dean listened. He seemed to raise a dark brow for you to go on.

"How silly of me to have let his name slip my mind already," You gestured as you thought aloud. "Let's see, he was quite tall, oh and English and-"

"Gwilym? You met Mr. Lee!" Dean beamed, rowing all the while.

"Yes, Gwilym was his name."

"You, my dear," Dean said, looking to you like you were in on some joke. "are very lucky."

Today wasn't what you'd expected in this quaint little village you were meant to call home, now. Home... such a silly word for here. You didn't quite feel at home in the misty air. But the folks you'd met so far made you smile to think of. The bay wavered as you rode along. It wasn't the steady grounding feeling of welcome you'd anticipated to sink into amidst the old cozy community. But you hoped that once this all became familiar, you'd be glad for it.

///

He was cursed, sure, but this was a new torture. When he saw her again... he was glad for it.

She was skipping along with Dean through the trails of the island when they saw him, too. It was her, who rose a hand to catch Gwilym's attention, though she already had it. She was beautiful. Like how the moon was beautiful, and everyone knew it, but still looked and marvelled at the sight of its shine like it was unbelievable.

She stopped and asked how he was doing and he couldn't think up an answer to a question he'd rarely been asked, since moving here.

"Dean was just showing me around the island," She gestured to the bright-eyed dark-haired man a few years younger than Gwilym. His smile was pleasant as ever it had been. Dean might have been the closest thing to a friend Gwilym had known, here, or ever. "And he pointed out your house. Mr. Lee, it's beautiful."

The sincerity in her tone made him chuckle. He couldn't help it.

"It's a few blue shutters between a few tall trees." Gwilym shrugged, shoving his hands in the pockets of his trousers, casting a gaze to the boat he was planning on taking out on the water, as far as it would go before the sun set and his work week started again.

"But those flowers growing up from your back garden that I could see from these trails..." She pointed his way with a grin. Gwilym was in awe by the turn of her painted lips and the way he knew she was trying to get him to carry on some kind of banter.

But then a pair of young friends rode around the corner on bicycles. They halted their wheels from turning by digging their heels into the dirt. They saw him, and maneuvered their bikes to turn the other way. Gwilym was snapped back to reality, one he was desperate to spare this new stunning stranger from. So Gwilym cleared his throat and nodded to Dean, who nodded back with reluctant understanding.

Dean knew a lot, but neither of them had spoken a word about what happened since the start of the year. They'd barely spoken at all, outside of the shop. Dean respected Gwilym's distance.

Gwilym had to go about his evening like always. He couldn't be to her what he'd just briefly been. He couldn't lie. When he managed to escape, and wave the pair off, a weight lifted from his chest as they turned off laughing together. But all at once, as they disappeared down the trail, Gwilym's heart sank. He wanted to laugh with her. He thought moments ago that he might've been able to share trivial talk until nightfall. But he couldn't. Of course he couldn't.

He sailed alone and reminded himself it had to be that way.

///

He used to go to parties. And people would greet him with glee when he arrived. He used to sit and mingle, and dance with strangers and familiar faces. But they all turned on him, and he knew he'd never be able to gain the likes of such company again.

He knew he'd always be seen as some vile, heartless monster. He knew his hurt and his fear was his alone and that peoples suspicions were stronger than their hearts, at first glance and forever then after.

So he kept his head down in line at the bank, wishing he'd shown up when less of the townspeople had. He knew catching their sneers (if the dared to look toward him) would only add to his never-ending ache.

So Gwilym offered a polite grin to the lady behind the counter even though he knew she wouldn't return it. He knew it didn't make him look better either, or change anyone's made up minds. But he thought it must have been better than scowling back.

He prepared to bolt after his transaction was through. And he did. But time seemed to freeze for just a moment when he looked up and saw her. The woman for whom he'd given a ride. Who'd stopped to greet him kindly just a day ago.

She was there before him, again. With perfectly styled hair and an openness on her face when she noticed him. He knew it was better to smile, but he couldn't help but hurry away faster. He had to outrun the way his heart felt light at the simple sight of one ignorant stranger. Gwilym knew she'd find out soon enough, and eventually, she wouldn't look at him like that, like she was glad to see him. He hurried away and wished he didn't have too.

///

You had come to depend on Dean for many a ride. When he told you lot's of people had their own boats, or took the big one into town at six a.m. you almost felt bad for asking him. But he followed up his saying so by telling you he was glad for the extra company. You'd toss him a couple of coins for his trouble and head into town to find something to occupy your time.

That's when you met Maggie. The girl Dean so often rambled about on rides to and fro. She was waiting on the boardwalk one morning with a big shiny hardback book for your dark haired friend in her grasp. They weren't official, not yet. He told you he was still gaining the gull to take her out. But it was clear she was mad about the guy. Who wouldn't be? With his contagious grin and the gentle way about him.

Maggie parted ways with Dean on his way to his job at the dock shop, and promptly hooked you up with a gig at the library. She worked there, alongside another much older woman who was glad to hire you on. Miss Porter gave you books to label, and shelves to clean, and left you to man the desk while she planned children programs and filed fees away. Maggie usually hosted the events Miss Porter planned, corralling kids to think up their own fairytales, or reading to a few when school let out.

It was an easy, quiet, delightful job. When Miss Porter handed over your very first paycheck, you practically skipped to the bank on your lunch break, but came back with a puzzled expression stuck on your face.

"Did you go? Did you talk to the teller I recommended?" Miss Porter wondered, sitting in the seat next to where you'd settled in to finish out your workday.

"Yes!" You promised with a nod. You told her how smoothly everything went, and how you'd even recognized a few people in line ahead of you. The man from the market and some ladies who'd checked out books from you on your first day. And then you mentioned Gwilym. You mentioned how you'd met him first thing, before anyone. Then, bashfully, how charmed you were by the guy. How you'd hoped to see more of him.

"But... he was just so strange, today. Like he couldn't wait to get out of there. Like he didn't know me." You boggled, tapping labels to new books. You glance up to notice Miss Porter's face, the hesitation on her lips, her lingering worried eyes.

"What?" You wondered flatly.

"Mr Lee. He's... well there are rumours about him. And where there's smoke there's fire." The old woman let out a humorous huff of a laugh. "Just- keep your head about yourself, girl."

"Yeah, okay." You gave Miss Porter a sidelong glance and floated along with her change in conversation. She chattered about her own lunch break and the friends she met up with during the hour. You listened, half-heartedly considering her gossip and watching the clock tick until someone eventually slid a book across the desk to you.

"Fancy seeing you here again." A voice rang past a smile, belonging to a boy with flaxen hair who'd come to the library almost every other day you worked, this month.

"Jake," You acknowledged with a tired grin. You never had much interest in his flirting, but his acquaintance had proven to be harmless and sometimes the most entertaining part of your afternoon. The buzz about the library was the only thing you had to look forward to, and more often than naught; the halls were empty and you'd unsort books just to busy yourself with putting them in order again. So, you at least tried to enjoy conversation with the preppy guy.

"Say, didn't you mention last week something about moving here for a bit of adventure?" He asked as you glimpsed to the cover of the text he was checking out. A book on ethics that looked unopened.

"Perhaps I might've." You mumbled, going about scribbling the date down.

"Then why do I only see you here and not anyplace else people our age hang around in, hmm?" The blonde boy wondered, looking to you. You gave him a sorry shrug and hoped he'd enjoy the book, reminding it was due back in two weeks. Jake's smile grew before he parted, as you turned to find Miss Porter watching you with a matching grin. Then she started her gossiping, about how Jake came from a good family with money and charm; The Hollywood type, she said.

She had a lot of opinions about everyone in town, it seemed. You let her ramble, but knew better than to listen too closely.

///

There was your life at the library, and then hardly much else. You came to recognize faces that you'd never see outside of the place you worked. Dean was the only friend you had beyond the confines of the desk. Even Maggie seemed lost to the halls of books. Neither of you had seen much of her, and every time you asked Dean, he seemed just as clueless as you were of her whereabouts after work hours.

So you stuck close to the boy and went to record shops and pubs when you felt like it. Between nights full of chatter about Bodega Bay's fast approaching annual fall festival, and antidotes about your lives before now, you always tried to circle back around to the same subject.

It seemed like Dean might've known more about Mr. Lee than he let on. You ask how he'd been, knowing the men worked closely together. Dean would only say they were both too busy to trade any small talk during the day. You'd ask how someone from so far came to know the quaint little town, but Dean would turn the question back around to you, and point out how you'd come to stay. All of your questions of Mr. Lee went marginally unanswered. Maybe Dean knew what you were really trying to ask. Maybe you were too afraid to wonder outright.

You thought much of him, Mr Lee. So the next time you caught a glimpse of his broad figure on the harbour, you asked Dean to wait up, as you rushed to say hello.

///

"Hey, you!"

Oh, it couldn't be? Gwilym could have smiled despite himself. There she was, taking steps closer over scattered ropes, headed right his way. Gwilym set down the crate he was carrying atop another and turned to face her as she'd already caught his attention.

"Don't you ever stop working?" She asked with a soft smile, coming to a slow halt before him. "You say you live on the island but I swear if I squint from there I can see you over here sorting boxes at all hours."

"It's better to be busy." Gwilym shrugged, letting his lips upturn for a moment.

"I suppose. But I hear there's a festival coming. Surely you'll have time free to waste all your well-earned dollars trying to win a fish in a bag?"

He had to chuckle. She spoke to him like they'd been friends for so long that there were no more secrets to trade, only small talk.

"Uh, no, I think not," Gwilym admitted, keeping his smile and trying not to stare at her own. "I'd much prefer to hide away during the festival." He hoped he seemed more antisocial on his own accord. Like he hadn't been scared into staying in for so long that he prefered it, in the end. Like it was his choice all along.

"Hm, why? Are the games not nearly as exciting as I've imagined them to be?"

"Well, yes that is one reason." He shrugged. "There are usually only a few tents and things. Most people use the festival as an excuse to pack the bay with their boats and scare the fish away for months."

"And you don't prefer to sail your boat somewhere in the middle of it all?"

He shook his head and reached for the crates once more, struck with a sudden thrum of worry, a realization that he shouldn't be carrying on just so.

Perhaps he sensed it coming, the inevitable. Before Gwilym could give a farewell to the woman he'd been foolishly thinking of, he heard footsteps pounding down the harbour toward where they stood.

At the sight of someone storming right her way, Gwilym turned in a hurry. To save her the embarrassment, or torment, or whatever she might receive for sharing a word with him. And as he left- though he couldn't understand why, and he feared the possibility, he hoped to see her again.

///

You were just about to demand Mr. Lee cease being so bloody mysterious and come to dinner with you and Dean.

But his bright eyes tore from yours and floated over your shoulder, and his smile faded. Gwilym cleared his throat and ducked his head through the back door of the shop, leaving you without another word, like you'd hadn't just stood and spoken at all, and were completely unworthy of a goodbye. As you tried not to let his odd behaviour sting, you turned to see what the matter was.

You saw Maggie. For the first time out from behind a book in a week or more. Her lily-white fists curled at her sides, and a look meant to kill shot toward you.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She spat, stalling in front of you, red with anger. You gawked at Maggie, and dared to glimpse around, wondering if there had to be something you were missing.

"Why were you talking to him?" Maggie seethed, snapping your attention back to her. Why was the question, wasn't it? Why had everyone you'd met so strangely behaved at the mention of a name belonging to a man who was hardly ever around?

"Why not, Maggie?" You pressed, feeling vexation start to burn below your surface. You'd known this girl long enough to feel fond of her, but not long enough to give way to her sudden and jarring concern without your own shining through.

"Let me remind you," Maggie hissed, "Because there's no way you're stupid enough to not know yet,"

"Like hell you will, Maggie." Dean appeared in a huff, "Do you really believe all the shit?" In two long strides, Dean was breaking up your standoff with his girl, not on her side, though, it seemed.

Maggie gawked at him, mouth slack between two rosy cheeks coloured by the chill and her anger.

"You don't?" She seemed to warn. And as Dean started shaking his head, she was set off once more. "Why do you think I haven't been around, huh? When I realized you worked alongside the creep I had to wait for you to come around. I could not be seen so near-"

"I will not stand here and let you go on spreading those vile rumours!" Dean stood his ground, at your confounded side.

"Well, I won't stand here and listen to you defend a cold-blooded criminal!" Maggie yanked her hands from her sides to throw them in the air as she hollered. Then she spun on her heels and muttered curses on her stomp back down the boardwalk.

"Dean..." You asked in a sacred hush, watching her storm off. "Why would she say something like that?"

You turned to the only real friend you'd made here. You knew his middle name, and what he really thought of the best pub in town. You knew he wouldn't lie. But you were afraid of what he'd say now.

Dean glanced to his watch with a heavy sigh, then looked back up to you.

"Got time for a really long story?"

///

You settled into Dean's cluttered kitchen and accepted his offer of a dark toxic drink before either of you spoke. And right when you were about to break the silence with one of the dozens of questions swirling through your mind, Dean looked to you.

"My parents were born and raised here, and so was I. But they moved to Hollywood when I went off to college." Dean explained that his mother passed on from illness and his father followed soon after, old age getting the better of the man.

"They were the owners of a building that was left to me. Downstairs was their place, upstairs was an apartment they rented out. And that's how I met Gwilym."

You took a sip of your drink, and nodded for him to go on.

Dean explained that with his parents gone, Gwilym was his only hope of understanding the lease the men were bonded by. Soon their talks grew common. Dean spent many a night sharing drinks with Mr. Lee, like the one he'd just poured for you.

"To have a friend one staircase away was such fun. We were both in desperate need of company. With my parents gone, and his wife never home."

Before you could ask, Dean told. He said Gwilym's wife had dreams of becoming an actor; a dream she'd once shared with her husband. But Gwilym was left to pick up odd jobs while Mrs. Lee went out to every audition. She rarely landed a role, but showed up to so many casting calls and parties that celebrities came to adore her. Mrs. Lee was always out drinking till dawn with the Hollywood elite. "I only ever met her once." Dean shrugged away a halfhearted smile.

He told you Gwilym was left to pay the bills and lend her cash to go back out again, when she came home tipsy in the mid afternoon. Dean said they bickered all the time. When Gwilym asked where she'd been, she would only shout back, call him horrible names Dean could hear from the apartment downstairs. He said even in his every attempt to ignore her picking fights, it was impossible.

"So the last night she came home, I thought it was like any other," Dean recalled, shifting in his ugly vinyl chair.

Dean said Mrs. Lee's sister had come to visit, and both ladies had stayed out all weekend without so much as letting Gwilym know. When they eventually stumbled up the stairs days later at dawn, their drunken laughter woke Dean, and Gwilym's loud worry over where they'd been kept the landlord awake.

Dean said he tried to ignore it. But after an unusual bout of quiet, the ruckus from the upstairs tenant's came back in a new and frightening way. Dean said he'd sprung out of bed purely by instinct, and opened his door to rush to the second level. No sooner than the man had met the bottom of the staircase did the Lee's door fly open. Gwilym tossed his sister in law out, as he stumbled toward the stairs himself. And if Dean hadn't been there to stop him, Mr. Lee would have rushed back into the cloud of smoke billowing from his apartment.

"The whole place burned down." Dean said, matter of factly. A pit opened in your stomach as you tried to wrap your head around the story that had been unfolded. "Mrs. Lee never made it out. Everyone blamed Gwilym. Still do."

"They say he killed her?" You croaked, mostly alarmed by Deans apathetic gaze.

"He was proven innocent." Dean lifted a brow, and his glass. But before he could take a drink, he seemed to realize something. Dean abandoned his alcohol and got up from the table without a word. You watched him disappear around the hall, while you sat in stunned silence. Your mind was too overwhelmed with thought to process much, before Dean was back again, with a crumpled old newspaper in hand.

"When I moved back here, I stuffed papers in the boxes of glasses and plates." Dean chuckled, smoothing out the page on his table. "Didn't even realize I'd used this one till I unpacked. Figured I'd keep it, in case of moment's like now, I guess."

Past the wrinkles, you looked and saw a headline. Gwilym's name printed in black, next to the word innocent, followed by a question mark. You leaned in close to read the article that followed.

It stated that the fire that his wife died in was a proven accident. Mrs. Lee's sister and husband had told the authorities that arrived on the scene the same frantic story. The quote that followed her sister's statement, though, began to help you realize why everyone treated Mr. Lee with such contempt.

Gwilym may not have started the fire, but he drove my sister mad enough to. It was his careless treatment of her that drove my sister away. He killed her in the end, and we won't let him forget it.

"She started the fire?" Your heart dropped away. How could such hate exist? How were their quotes from famous actors mourning the loss of this woman, and cursing her husband's name? Why did the people in Bodega Bay care?

When you asked, Dean said it was because everyone here had some kind of connection to Hollywood, or wanted too. They were always on the side of the stars, always influenced by tabloids and concerned with the gossip that kept them in celebrity loops.

He said he should have known better, when he moved back here and extended an offer for Gwilym to come along, neither of them having a better place to go. Dean said he should have known the rumours would spread, and how the people in Bodega Bay would react to Gwilym's settling here. Then he shook his head, and looked to you.

"So now you know." Dean said, standing to reach for the bottle he'd poured from earlier in the evening. Your glass had barely been sipped from, but you held it up to be filled further still. Now you knew, indeed. But you were clueless as to what to do about it.

///

The next morning, you'd barely settled behind the desk at the library before Maggie stormed in. She marched up to the counter you and Miss Porter sat quietly behind, and slammed an envelope on the counter.

"I quit." She seethed, breathing hard as she pierced her eyes right into yours. Miss Porter gapped at the girl, and then to you, and when she turned to look to Maggie and ask her to change her mind, the girl was stomping out of the door.

You told your boss you had no idea what the girl's problem was, but realized she'd probably find out eventually, with the way miss Miss Porter sniffed out every detail of peoples lives in this town. So you kept to yourself while you still could, and didn't see anyone you recognized all day.

But you heard everyone talk. You'd heard the talk before. You'd heard his name whispered from housewives and mailmen. But now you understood why, and you discerned what they seemed to say. It made you sick, with worries of all kinds.

So, you agreed to stay late and lock up- only so you might be able to sneak into the attic of the library. There you found collections of misprints, yearbooks and old newspapers. It took until the sunlight started to fade from the dormer window before you found what you were looking for. A paper from the day after the incident, and a few more. All of which spelled Dean's name wrong, and spewed more vile quotes.

All of them seemed to tell the truth, seemed to acknowledge Gwilym's innocents, yet they all blamed him still. For caring too little. For being such a terrible husband. For whatever made them feel better about his wife's tragic loss. You'd read more than enough to be sure of the truth, and maddened by the way it had been turned and used against a man who had done little wrong.

But now, as you kept your eyes wide to see him again, he seemed to have vanished from the town completely

"Why don't they talk about you?" You asked Dean, stepping into his boat one afternoon, after being disappointed to find Gwilym's boat missing from the harbour.

"They misprinted my name in one paper and rolled with it in all the others." He laughed bitterly, rowing home. You recalled that to be the case. You knew Dean wouldn't lie.

"Why don't you talk to him?" You asked more, trying to put the pieces of this puzzle together. A tiny internal voice drove you through this discovery, the same urgent pang that pushed you to pack up and move here.

"I used to. He stopped letting me over. Stopped answering calls." Dean shrugged. You hung your head, and apologized for all the questions. Dean insisted he was glad someone finally cared to ask.

You had all kinds of answers, now. But worried and wondered about Gwilym all week. And then the festival came.

///

It was just like he said it would be. As you stepped into Dean's canoe to head to work, you saw a dozen boats lined up at the berth of the town. And by the time your lunch break came, you spotted two dozen more boats crowding the bay, some sailing, some waiting their turn. By the time you were free to go and see what the fuss was about, Dean waved from the window of the shop as you breezed by. You walked past a tent selling sweets, and another selling drinks, and saw little else besides a mess of people.

"Well look who it is." An unexpectedly familiar voice floated over your shoulder. Jake stood a few paces away, rocking on his feet, looking taller than he ever seemed from behind the desk of your library.

You gave him a pleasant hello, and he said something about how nice it was to finally see you out and about.

"Have you found much adventure, yet?" He wondered. And you weren't sure if he was asking about your time in Bodega Bay, or about the festival that started sometime while you were still clocked in. Either way, when you hesitated, the nice blonde boy extended his hand and insisted you join him.

And you had a fleeting thought, that Jake was only trying to do for you what you'd been trying to do for Gwilym. Reaching out. Giving you a chance. So with a tired grin, you took it.

You followed the blonde boy through the cutting breeze, down a dock and up the steps of a big boat adorned in strings of lights. It was crammed with people in fancy clothes, drinking from dark bottles and twisting to some rock and roll tune.

Jake kept his distance and poured you a couple of drinks. He danced you around a couple of corners, introducing you to people along the way. You shot him a grin each time he gave out your name and drank a little more. The air was cold, but you were warm, crammed between strangers and their friends. The music coming from the boat was loud, but as you shuffled toward the deck, you could hear music in the distance, too, from other boats. Other friends laughter echoing from beyond the bay. And finally, the beauty of the townspeople shone just as brightly as the town itself.

You laughed as Jake spun you lazily around to the beat of a new song. He followed as you kept slipping closer toward the edge of the crowd. He warned you to get down from the railing you leaned too far over when you'd spun far out of the party as possible. You turned and pointed to a couple dancing on the top of the rails, without a care. And because he couldn't argue, and you were a little tipsy, you stood there, too, and let him hold your hand as you balanced along the beams.

You trusted Jake. His intentions were good and his grip was firm. It tightened as you started to lose your step.

///

Gwilym was on his way to take a break from sorting through inventory in the back room. About this time, he liked to sit and watch the birds and sun dip below the sea. He couldn't see that from home. So sometimes he'd stay later, just to watch the sun setting. Sometimes it was the best part of his whole day. So as the festival raged on, he tried to stay out of sight.

But he didn't even get to sit before he noticed. Just around the corner, there was a boat laced with party lights. A bevy of drunken partiers danced across the deck. A man with pale hair and a dopey smile holding the hand of the woman Gwilym hadn't stopped thinking of. Her, standing on the rails. As soon as Gwilym turned and saw, the boy let go, and she was falling in the water.

The boy with pale hair raced from the deck, but Gwilym was faster. Nearer. Close enough to cross onto the boardwalk and reach into the bay before she had drifted far past the surface. It was instinctive, his mission to save her. He wasn't thinking, he was just reaching in and tugging her up, and only after he pulled her onto the deck at his side, did he realize the speed his heart was thrumming and the fear that spread through him.

She let out startled coughs and looked to him with big watery eyes, and he had to ask if she was okay because he didn't know what else to do. But he was quicker to act than he was to think, still, standing and offering her help to do the same. She stretched up slowly, holding his arm without hesitation. He couldn't be sure if she needed or wanted too, but she didn't let go.

Just as Gwilym decidedly turned toward the shop, Dean appeared. He bound toward the boy with pale hair and grabbed him by the shirt collar with fire in his eyes.

"What the ever loving fuck were you thinking?" Dean shouted, nearly lifting the guy off his feet. The boy who'd let her fall tried to stutter a response, but couldn't So Dean let him go, prepared to do worse. But Gwilym called his name, before thinking about it. Dean looked and saw Gwilym letting the girl he'd come to secretly and desperately adore, lean into his side, despite the way she shivered in drenched clothes. Dean seemed to snap out of it, and only cursed at the blonde boy as he stumbled away, back onto the boat without a word.

"Let's go." Gwilym waved Dean along, as the trio headed toward the shop, while the party raged on.

///

In the matter of a second, the laughter and the lights and the music and the fun was muffled. It kept on as your time stalled and became murky and cold and wet; and then it was louder than ever.

People stood and gasped along the marina as the water splashed around you. Gwilym's grip hurt but it was much more tolerable than the chill of the water and the way your lungs burned with the ache to breathe. How long were you down there?

Mr. Lee threw you toward the docks and stood you up, and looked to you as you looked to him, for the first time in months. For the first time ever, it felt like. But his icy eyes tore away at the sight of the commotion.

Dean was there. He was red with anger, and the boy who'd tried but failed to stop you from falling, seemed like a spec in your friends grasp. Gwilym was the one to save him too, telling Dean to go. You'd barely registered any of this happening until Dean spun back around to face you on his way in the shop, and Jake had left you without a goodbye.

"Are you okay? I mean, are you-" Dean worried, holding open the door to the shop. He flipped the open sign to closed, like it mattered. As you entered the store stocked with fishing gear and boat parts, Gwilym slipped out of your grasp and left you colder than ever.

"I'm fine. I think." You grinned. "Yes. Thank you, Dean." You nodded his way, feeling more embarrassed than anything as you recalled the expressions on onlookers faces a moment ago. You knew everyone saw, but you worried over what they must've thought.

It was Dean's sweeping scowl that started everyone chattering again, as you'd walked off. They looked away from you as your friend led you closer to the dock shop, where Gwilym had now found a towel and something else you didn't know you needed. He watched Dean lead you toward the counter with eye's bluer than the autumn sky.

"A first aid kit? I'm fine, I-" But then you followed Dean's pitiful gaze by raising a hand to your head. You felt nothing but a chill on your fingertips. When you pulled them away, they were sticky and red.

"Oh, I see."

Gwilym ordered Dean to go around back and search for a sweater, or something you might be able to change into. You went where Mr. Lee pointed you toward, settling against the front counter. He handed you a towel, and you draped it over your shoulders, willing yourself to stop shivering.

Then, the stoic Englishman rose a cloth to your head, and watched where he cared for, while you watched him. He was close enough for you to recognise he smelled of something sweeter than pine, and was taller than you realized. His jaw was peppered with stubble and his eyes were a never ending shade of blue you wished you could look right into, but he wouldn't let you. He stayed focused on his work, and informed you only had a small cut.

"I need a lift home." You spoke in a hush, keeping your gaze fixed on his own best you were able.

"Dean will take you." Gwilym mumbled back, so close you could nearly feel the rumble of his voice.

"What if I want you to take me?" You countered with a childish pout, still tipsy and shaken.

"I can't." He spoke firmly, taking the smallest step to your side to close up the first aid kit. You watched, tightening the towel around you and wondering what kind of mess you must'a looked like.

"Why?" You wondered, hopelessly. Your question was loaded, and heavy, and it made Mr. Lee clench his sharp jaw.

"You know why." He responded, grimly. Gwilym took the first aid kit and started away from you as your chest filled up in a way you thought felt just like drowning. Your throat was too tight to call out and stop him from leaving it at that- to stop him from leaving you. So he kept on walking, slipping around the back just as Dean appeared with a set of men's clothes, offering them to you with a small sorry shrug.

You decidedly took the sweater and ducked behind the counter to slip it on, while Dean stood guard. You looked to him once you finished, and were disappointed to find Mr. Lee had not come back. So you took Dean's hand and let him take you home.

He had to row in a strange path, away from other boats, so it took you twice as long to get to the island. And the only conversation you shared on the ride was when Dean kept asking if you were okay and you kept shutting him down; because you couldn't say yes or no without the threat of tears stinging your eyes.

You let Dean walk you to your door, and thanked him for it with the last exhausted breath you could muster. And when you were on your own, you let your heart hurt and you let yourself cry. Then you decided Gwilym must have actually liked being so alone. You decided to leave him be, and stop from searching him out. And while you made yourself promise to keep your distance, you hoped that he'd miss your interactions enough to show up and ask why they'd stopped.

///

You couldn't figure who was more selfish. Him, for retaining such isolation, for having little decency to let you down easy and slipping into the shadows at the sight of you. Or you, for stooping to his level. If he was so keen on keeping a distance, you decided for once, to make it easy.

You decided to try and forget the way he plunged his hand into the freezing waters to yank you to the surface before you knew what hit you. And the warmth that radiated from him, as he let you lean in, despite everything.

You pretended not to care about Gwilym Lee, and went about your weekend as usual. And as you went from work, and ignored Dean's worries over whether you were doing alright, you saw Mr. Lee three times.

Once, on your way from the harbour to your job. Gwilym was out, watching a big boat sail in. And you wouldn't let yourself search for his gaze. You waited until you were a speck in the horizon before you turned to see if he'd noticed or cared. But all you saw was Dean racing to catch up with you, and extending the jacket you'd left in his boat in your rush to storm away.

The next time you saw Gwilym was from the safety of your front porch, as you swept away fallen leaves from the steps. He'd ventured out to his own front lawn that was a mess after the night-long storm, and noticed you already done with your chore. Before you caved and met his eye, you spun inside and shut the door, searching to see if he noticed or cared before you let it shut all the way. Then you scurried off to work with all the reluctance of a school kid.

Your time used to be pleasantly occupied during shifts at the library. But now each day you dreaded stepping foot near there. Miss Porter stopped sharing gossip with you on lunch break. She was probably too busy talking about you. Jake had stopped showing up, and your job of taping labels and arranging shelves seemed like your own personal purgatory.

Dean tried to get you to join him on nights at his favourite grotty pub and afternoon rides around the bay. But you were too much occupied by worry and doubt to entertain your friends free time. So you only let him row you home and kept swearing you'd agree to some fun next time he asked. Dean let you trail away toward home as he accepted a pair of friends into his ride, and you didn't need to look back to know his pitiful gaze was still set on you.

///

She looked back. She kept looking back, and that's when Gwilym realized he'd made a horrible mistake... perhaps the worst he'd ever made.

///

You saw him a third time on your trek home, that afternoon. He seemed to be headed toward the place he'd always hidden his boat away in, but he stopped when he saw you, and his sea blue eyes searched for yours. You tightened your sweater around your frame and prepared to breeze past him, hoping you didn't look like you wanted to burst into tears.

"Y/n, please wait," Gwilym spoke up, his usual low, calm tone now broken and weary.

You didn't wait. You wanted too, but suddenly all the rage and sadness you felt flooded your system and made your feet stomp harder up the steps to your house.

"Please," Gwilym said again, turning to follow close behind.

"Can't we talk?" He seemed to beg. You jostled open your front door with your heart drumming in your ears as you registered the sound of his following along.

"You want to talk?" You laughed without an ounce of humour, spinning to face Gwilym as you backed into your home. He followed timidly like if he made one floorboard creek it would spin loose and he'd slip through the crack.

"Yes." He seemed to decide, stalling just past the still opened door.

"I'm sure you only mean that you want me to talk to you." You pointed, tossing your handbag toward an empty chair. "Because God knows you've never had much to say to me. Not even of the weather let alone where you came from." You were nearly shouting, waving a hand as you looked toward the man you'd always longed to know.

"No, I've had to hear about you from everyone else! " You rang, and almost regretted it. You watched him start to crumble, standing still in place all the while. But once you'd started there was no point in stopping. "And I've spent all summer desperate to learn more, but not from them."

"I- I didn't want you to..." Gwilym struggled to explain in a stuttered breath, holding his hands up for you to see.

"What? Didn't want me to find out?" You asked, "Well I did, but all I've ever wanted was to hear it from you." You shouted, hardly caring to stop the tears burning your eyes. You'd read the articles, the tabloids, and the bullshit from warped celebrity minds. But even before then, you'd been drawn to Mr. Lee. You'd seen the good in him.

"I've always been on your side." You said. "Even when you treat me like one of them. Like I don't give a shit about you. Well, I do!"

You watched his brow furrow and his eyes dart between yours. You watched him try and understand, and you couldn't hold back your frustrated tears any longer. And maybe you felt like you hadn't made yourself clear enough, or maybe you were only listening to that little voice in your head, either way, you threw yourself toward Gwilym and wrapped him in a hug.

It took him a beat to hug you back, but he did. And he held on as you tried to stop from crying, and appreciate this rare and surprising moment.

"I'm sorry." You heard him mumbled into your hair, as his comforting grip tightened ever so slightly. You couldn't help but laugh as you relished the feeling of his strong figure finally accepting you in. Then, with every way you could mean it, you assured he had nothing at all to be sorry for.

///

It took a while. A week, actually. But Gwilym eventually told you everything.

The day he followed you in your doorway, he stayed for a bit. You apologized for bursting into tears and he smiled when you looked at him and laughed about it. And then you showed him round your aunts dusty old home. You told him just how you'd come to live here, and you convinced him to stay for dinner.

While you ate, he spoke of England. He recalled growing up there, the differences between worlds, and what he missed most about the place. But before conversation could go on flourishing, the sun set and you both retired to prepare for another days work.

The next morning you cancled the plans with Dean you'd made to go to the pub. And when you told him why, he nearly toppled his canoe over by all his excitement. You had to make him sit back down and promise you'd keep him updated on your mission to be a friend to Gwil. Even though everyone involved knew, on some level, that you were keen to be a little more than friends.

But you shoved thoughts like those deep down. Now was no time to seduce the man. Now was the time to listen to him, and hope to high heavens he wanted the same thing as you.

And that night, as you made it to the island and parted ways with your friend, you found Gwilym waiting up for you just outside your home. You could have burst into another bout of tears at the notion, but you'd already made a big enough fool out of yourself once. So you rushed to invite the man in. But he stopped your stammering and asked you over to his place, instead.

His home was much grander on the inside than the simple outside made it seem. The ceilings were high and there were shelves along most of the walls, all jam packed with books and a few potted plants. As if the forest he seemed to raise outback weren't enough. There were bushes and vines and flowers of all kinds, bright in the cold blue evening.

So you sat inside and shared a drink. After mindless chatter, you started in on a conversation that led to you learning a little more about the woman he'd once been married to. He spoke of when they met and whence they moved, and why. He spoke a little of his dream of acting and how it fizzled out early on for several reasons. He spoke of Hollywood and how he blamed the city for souring everything. And then the night fell and you knew it was best to leave while you were ahead.

"I'd love to come back around when your garden is in full bloom." You invited yourself over again, reluctantly trudging toward the door. Gwilym followed along a safe distance away with his hands in his pockets.

"You're welcome back round anytime." Gwilym noted, his words packed with meaning. You tried not to melt at his invitation, the first you'd ever received. You only hoped it wouldn't be the last, and tried to hold back your gleefully nervous chuckles.

"Well good." You decided, reaching for the door. "Because I'll certainly find every excuse to stop over."

You would have kissed him then, if he were only a little closer. If you'd had a little more to drink, you would have had enough courage to crash your lips against. But you didn't. You simply let your smile linger as you struggled to tear your gaze from his. Gwilym shook his head at your staring and reached past you to open the door, keeping his pretty gaze settled on yours all the while.

So you headed for home, but made sure to look over your shoulder before you'd gone too far.

///

He'd asked her over. He was terrified as ever, maybe his fears had even shifted or tripled. But he asked her over anyway. And when she followed along with a smile, he realized there wasn't too much to be afraid of.

Still, Gwilym kept as much to himself as he could without seeming rude or uninterested. He lingered a safe distance behind as he showed her around the place he'd called home all year. She marvelled over how neat the shelves were and how lovely the old furniture was, and waved him off when he remarked how he didn't pick any of it out but had grown fond of the space all the same. And then he followed her out into the garden, where she spun between the vines. Gwilym notices the moon, as he followed it's pale light, and thought it was nowhere near as beautiful compared to the glow coming from the woman smiling up at him.

But then he was scared again... of what might happen now. Gwilym hadn't thought of the future all year. But there was nothing else to think of when she was around. He wondered where life would lead her, and he hoped, selfishly, that he'd get to follow along.

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to close the distance between them and hold her closer than he had when she threw herself in his arms a day before...

He didn't, though. But when she skipped toward home she looked back to him and smiled, and he decided one day, he would.

///

It was two more days before you Gwil him again. Dean seemed to understand when you left him alone on the harbour, yet you still turned and apologized and swore you'd call him round for game night by the weekend. He just laughed and pushed you along, and you hurried to catch Gwilym before he'd sailed off.

You were right on time, just like the first time. He helped you aboard, same as before, with the same strong hand he used to pull you from these very waters. You joked about it, only recalling the incident like how you remembered a varied few dreams.

"So you only liked me because I saved you from drowning," Gwilym noted, letting his boat drift toward where the sky and the sea blended.

"No, I liked you plenty before." You admitted in an embarrassed chuckle. Here you were, in the middle of the bay with the most handsome man you'd ever met. And here he was with you, and you were more nervous than the first day of this kind. The excited kind of nervous. The kind you felt before settling in a roller coaster or seeing a film you'd waited a long time to catch. This was what you'd wanted, to be here with him. But what was next, you worried?

As you talked about what led you here, and how you'd trusted your gut to start over again, Gwilym listened. And then, after a few careful questions, he told you what happened. He told you about the life he lived just before moving to Bodega Bay.

He spoke of his wife like someone he'd read about once. Like his connection to her was something he'd only ever heard of and never felt. But he was kind in his descriptors and he even chuckled when he recounted how happy they were for a moment. But only a moment, he said.

Then Gwilym told you much of what Dean already had. How she'd started going out, and treating him poorly for worrying over her whereabouts. How one night Gwilym went to a party he knew she'd be the life of, and found her there canoodling with some famous director. How Mrs. Lee blamed Gwilym for embarrassing her. How he'd missed her long before she was gone for good.

Then he recounted what happened the night his wife and her sister came home from a long weekend away. How scared he'd been when he couldn't reach her. How poorly she'd made him feel for being upset by it all. How she kicked her sister out of the guest room, where she'd already retired to spin records and light candles. His wife scratched the record to a stop and slammed the door in Gwilyms face as he begged her to come to some kind of resolution. He said she'd answered his pleas through the door with muffled curses and clatters, like she was tossing things about in her drunken ire.

Gwilym recalled how it went quiet, for too long. And how he couldn't open the door when he started to try. How he broke the handle when black smoke started billowing into the hall, and she wasn't answering when he called her name. How right as he planned to bust the door down flames curled from the crack near the floor and started to spread, chasing him away.

Gwilym said he scooped up his sister in law from the sofa and tossed her toward the staircase that led to freedom. He said that he didn't even see Dean there. Gwilym only realized his friend had shown up when he reached out and stopped him from turning back to the apartment. Gwilym knew his wife was gone, and his attempts weren't worth it, but he said he still felt like he had to try.

///

He'd never rambled for it for so long, not even to himself or the rose bushes. By the end of his tale, when there might have been a little left to say, but everything had already become clear, he caught a glimpse of her face and the way she sat listening. There was little pity in her gaze, and no judgement. There was something he'd never seen before... and it warmed him. He didn't feel small under her watchful eye. He felt heard and a little lighter for having spoken the things he never really dared to before.

"Why here?" She asked, never daring to look away from him.

"Dean offered. Gave me another place to stay. And a job. And I just couldn't go back to my family... I can't."

"Why?" Her simple question made him smile despite the ache in his heart.

"I'm afraid of what they might think. If I might not be able to change their minds. And then I really wouldn't have anyone." Gwilym stated simply. "It's like as long as I keep them at a distance they won't change. I know that's grotesquely selfish." He shook his head, keeping his grin of disbelief.

"Gwilym," She said, once he'd finally looked to her once more. "You have me." She reached out for his hand. And he held her gaze. He might never come to understand her kindness. But he'd be a fool by failing to accept it any longer.

Gwilym thought things would never change. That his past would always hang heavily and shade his future. And maybe that was true. But for the first time instead of accepting so, he took the chance of letting her in on his greatest fears.

Perhaps it was better to have someone brilliant to be certain of, amidst the unchanging darkness. And perhaps he could never repay her with any of the flickering beams of hope and laughter she pulled from him. The good she saw that was left of Gwilym had been polished, and he wasn't sure it would ever be enough. But he had to try and make it more than so.

So that night, when the wind grew too cold without the sun warming their time on the water, he let her come back to his place, like he promised. He made dinner and listened to the stories she told between butting in to help him cook. He let himself become lost in thoughts of her as his gaze lingered when she wasn't looking.

And after they ate, she fell asleep on his sofa while he cleaned everything up. But instead of pacing through the kitchen like he did when he couldn't sleep; he sat back at the table, glanced to the woman dreaming in his parlour, and pulled out a pen and paper.

///

You'd never been more glad to live in Bodega Bay. Gwilym let you breeze in whenever you pleased, and some days he'd even surprised you by stopping over your place with drinks.

You'd started bringing Dean along, and roping the two men into playing poker and staying up late to watch specials on the telly. Gwilym always sat nearest to you, and shared looks that lasted a little too long and laughs over things you knew Dean missed the joke on. But your friend seemed just as happy to be apart. To be with the two of you. He'd even started sharing chats with Gwilym while you insisted on making lunch. You caught glimpses of the two of them in Gwil's garden, in the midst of some sort of serious talks. And you'd never been happier to see such stoic faces chatting away. It was what the both of them needed.

Gwilym wouldn't go out with the two of you though. He apologized for shooting down the invite so quickly, but you assured him not to worry. You figured he'd say no. But you still couldn't help but to extend the offer.

The next time you managed for a night out and about, though, you came to understand Gwilym's reasons for staying in better than ever.

Jake was there- with a group of his friends in the farthest corner of the pub you and Dean liked to go to. He noticed you, and started to move reluctantly across the place, like he was being forced to approach you. You shot Dean one stern look, warning him to let you deal with this on your own. Your friend grumbled in agreeance as he turned to go find a table for the pair of you, keeping a sidelong glance on the blonde boy who'd come to face you.

"I'm sorry for what happened, and the fact it took me till now to say so." Jake seemed genuine in his speak, though his body language suggested otherwise. His feet were pointed away, prepared to rush off, it seemed.

"It's okay, really. You warned me, and you tried to hold on." You shrugged, recalling the night Jake tried to stop you from climbing the railing you fell from. It was a scary thing, but it was all over now. You'd started to walk away, but your pale haired friend stopped you from going just yet.

"Listen, I-I know you moved here looking for some kind of fun, or whatever," Jake stuttered as you'd spun to face him once more. "But is hanging around the resident killer really how you get your kicks? People are talking about you, and they don't have a lot of good to say." Jake rubbed the back of his neck as you gaped at him.

"If this is you keeping my best interest in mind, you're doing a shitty job of it." You rang, watching Jake look around to the few people you stood near.

"it's just, he's not-"

"Gwilym is a better man than you'll ever be." You pointed, before turning to leave the kid behind. Maybe you'd spoken a little too loudly, because as you headed to find Dean, you saw the eyes of nearly every patron turned your way. But they weren't just stunned by your outburst. They were chattering with each other as you walked by. Gossiping about more than the way Gwilym's name passed from your lips in defence, but how they'd seen you with him before.

You smiled, despite it all, and were practically reduced to laughter by the time you reached Dean. Your heart ached at the thought of Gwilym having to endure such disdain every time he left his home. But you were glad to be on the receiving end. Maybe the sound of his name proudly rolling from your lips would change their minds... eventually. Maybe it wouldn't. But you were proud, and you hoped defending Gwilym made everyone who never had curdle with remorse.

///

The holidays were approaching and the cold seemed unexpectedly bitter so near the water. Still, you went about your day as ever, chatting with Dean on rides, working away, spending your earnings to keep the lights on and the rest on records and expensive wine to share with your friends. You only had two, but they drained your alcohol as quickly as a family of five. Still, you couldn't have been happier.

You don't tell Gwilym about all the time's ladies at the market call you a dirty sinner for spending your free time with him. You only smiled at them and warned their hatred would send them to hell surer than Mr. Lee would be banished there.

You found old misplaced books in the library's attic when you wander up to sort it out on the slow days. And you'd bring them to Gwil, because he'd told you all the many books lining his shelves had been read and read again.

You even scored a free new hardback, when the printing company shipped out a book with the title misspelled. You toted the new story all the way home, and hugged Dean goodbye at the base of the island. He was headed to his cousins family home for Thanksgiving, and you missed him the moment he rowed away.

But you weren't alone. You had Gwilym. He'd started leaving his door unlocked, so you could burst in whenever you pleased, and you did on many occasions, but always with good reason. To catch a film on the telly, or share some of the better desserts you'd learned to make from scratch.

Now, you rested the new book on his bare coffee table, and flung yourself to his golden sofa, where you started complaining about your day before he'd even found his way into the room to greet you.

When Gwilym appeared in the archway of the parlour, you were unusually caught off guard by his appearance. There was a beard starting to decorate his sharp jaw, and the first few buttons of the white shirt he wore were undone.

"Can I read something to you?" He asked, in such a rush that you hoped his sudden question would be reason enough for your stunned silence, and he hadn't caught you ogling him.

"Of course." You nodded, noticing the piece of folded paper in his hand. You shook yourself out of your staring but watched as he moved into the room, decidedly resting near the coffee table at your feet. Gwilym unfolded the paper and looked up to you before he started to read. Though you had no idea what was going on, you gave him a sure nod and leaned ever closer to listen.

"So," He looked from the paper to you again. "A while ago I decided to write this letter. To my family. And, well, okay..."

Gwilym stammered, and then dove straight into reading from the paper in his grasp. You watched his pretty blue eyes scan the page, and listened as he read the note that started with his apology for going so long without reaching out to them before. Gwilym's letter was short. It was filled with a simple wish that his family was doing well, and that he might see them again one day. When he finished, he looked up to you like he was looking for approval.

"I think..." He said, leaving the paper to rest on top of the book you'd brought for him. "I think I want to send it to them." Gwilym searched your face as you straightened in place and smiled.

"Gwil, that's great news!" You chirped. "There's a post box right outside the library. I could take it-"

"No." He said, loud and sure. Your grin faltered as Gwilym shook his head, and spoke up again.

"I want to take it." He said. "But I would like if you came along."

You could have squealed, or did a little dance. You could have opened the door and declared to the whole island that you'd never been happier. But instead, you lunged from your perch on the sofa and kissed Gwilym. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your lips to his, and struggled to hold back a contented sigh when he started kissing you back. His fingers pressed against your shoulder blades, holding you close as you kept your lips to his as long as you could hold your breath.

When you finally broke away, you looked in his brilliant blue eyes, and waited for him to say something.

"So, you think it's a good idea?" Gwilym asked. And past your rapid heartbeat, you managed a laugh. Despite your sweaty palms, you settled on your knees before the man, with both of your hands on his broad shoulders.

"I know it is." You nodded, searching his face, all its angles and beauty. Then it was decided you'd deliver it the very next morning, as he stood to his feet and held out a hand to help you do the same. Gwilym collected his letter, and you recalled the book you'd brought for him, reaching for it with a gasp of remembrance and holding it out for him to take.

And later, after you insisted on making dinner, you asked him to crack open the pages and read a little to tell if the plot was of any interest.

With the book in hand, Gwilym settled on the sofa at your side, and muttered through the first few sentences- like he would when you asked about the many books already in his collection. "Better to let them speak for themselves," He'd say.

But now, he kept just reading on, turning page after page by the soft lamp light. So you listened, and rested your head on his shoulder as he told the tale, not missing a beat as you leaned into his side. You felt the resonance of his voice as he spoke, and relished the warmth of the sweater he'd changed into. You recalled the feeling of his lips moving against yours, and hope this was the first of many nights like this one.

///

He'd never been happier, it was certain. But the fact still boggled him. He'd been to places he'd always dreamed- and indulged in outrageous fun with people he'd cared for on days with perfect weather. But here, now, in the middle of his darkest hour, she made him the happiest he'd ever been.

And she didn't even have to kiss him to make it so. That was just a nice surprise. Something he'd been too nervous to make happen himself. So when she made the move, he kissed her back with all the care he'd been saving up, and hoped it wasn't too long until the next time.

She remained close to his side the next day, when he set off to town with a letter in his hand. And when he slid it into the post box, all he felt was the urgent pang to turn and look at her, and ask what she fancied doing the rest of the day. He was stupidly head over heels for the woman, and the way he'd come to recognize the smile on her face. The way he knew she wanted nothing more than to parade around town at his side, yet shrugged and suggested heading home and listening to some of the records she'd bought the weekend before.

The way she'd let herself into his home, and start yammering on about her day no matter if he was in the room or not. How she'd bustle about his kitchen and take the food over to her place for a last minute change of scenery. How she'd make him go out into his garden at least three times a week and insist he ramble to her about the growth of the plants he'd taken to caring for.

How when she was away, he knew she'd be back. How he didn't have to worry.

When Christmas was drawing near, their connection had become familiar, but unchanged. She hadn't kissed him since the first time, and every time he thought of making a move he'd talk himself out of being so bold. But he let her hold onto his arm when she waited up for a ride across the bay. And he let her curl into his side when they watched specials on the telly. He draped his arm around her then, and lost himself in the comfort of closeness, and tried not to worry if it would last. He knew he was lucky to be on the receiving end of anything so special at all, these days. He didn't dare push his luck.

But he let her fall asleep there, against his shoulder. And instead of laying her against the cushions, or waking her to send home, he happily fell asleep too.

///

"It's Christmas! Please open up!"

The pounding at the door sprung you from slumber, and you hardly cared how you must have looked in your fluster to answer the door.

Dean was bundled up in layers with a stack of presents in hand. You could see his breath as he cursed you for taking so long to answer, just before wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Then you rushed through Gwilym's home to find a mirror and a moment to fix yourself up. Had you really fallen asleep next to the guy? You'd been forced into consciousness so quickly that you didn't get to relish waking at his side. It was a bit of a good thing, you decided, as you'd been graced with a little time to straighten your wrinkled sweater and pin your hair back into place before you saw Gwilym again.

Out of all the Christmas mornings you'd enjoyed, this one was already the best. Gwilym's home was cozy, and the tree you'd encouraged him to trim was so quaint near the window, masking the cold on the other side with bright red bulbs shining from every branch.

Dean was shuffling about the tree, scattering the presents he'd brought along and complaining about his most recent family gathering and how it'd ended in a political debate no one won. You floated back to Gwil's sofa, a space you'd taken quite a liking too in recent months. He wasn't there, where you'd left him, but instead taking cautious steps through the archway you'd only just breezed through. in his grasp, two cups of cocoa to match the third and final mug already rested on the coffee table, between stacks of books.

When Gwilym abandoned the drinks, he fell onto the sofa at your side, and it might have seemed as though you'd never left your places from the night before. You found yourself tucked right under the arm he kept over the back of the sofa; as you both watched Dean toss the last of his presents under the tree with a share snicker. When Dean turned to curse the pair of you for laughing at him on Christmas, he stopped mid reprimand and said,

"Oh so it's like that now, is it?" The boy whose dark hair was still masked under a knitted cap gestured between the two of you.

"Always was, wasn't it?" Gwilym was quick to respond, as Dean shrugged and reached to turn the telly to a Christmas programme.

No sooner than Gwilym spoke did you tear yourself from his side to reach for the presents you'd wrapped a month earlier. You placed your gifts in front of the men you'd come to adore more than you knew was possible. And they traded their own with you. Between boxes of ties and cookbooks, and records, and gift cards, you couldn't imagine life could get better than this. Yet you still hoped it couldn't get any worse. And that days in such company wouldn't end, even when there were no gifts or secrets left to trade.

///

By boxing day, you'd had a chance to clean yourself up and sort away the gifts from your friends. You'd properly stored away the desserts Gwilym sent you home with, and had nothing better to do by mid afternoon than to return his freshly cleaned kitchenware.

When you reached Gwilyms door, you collected the mail from the box he always forgot to check and breezed in with the announcement that you were delivering all sorts of things to the kitchen. You let the mail fall to the table as you went about sorting pans into the cupboards you knew they belonged in.

Gwilym sauntered in, totally unphased by your presence, trading a simple hello. When you turned from sorting away dishes, he'd moved across the kitchen and startled you by being so suddenly close. Before you could ask why, you noticed. There was an envelope in his hand and a look in his eye that reminded you of the look he wore when you met.

"They wrote back." He spoke, keeping his bright eyes fixed on yours. Had he expected radio silence from his family? Or was he worried to open the letter to heartbreak? Either way, there their response was, between his long fingers. You gave him a nod, encouraging him in whatever his next move was, silently hoping he'd tear the seal. Another beat past before he leaned back against the counter and opened the envelope.

You stood a few paces away, wringing your hands as Gwilym unfolded a letter in silence. You watched him tuck a lip between his teeth as his eyes scanned the page.

"They say it's nice to hear from me." He sort of mumbled like he was reading from one of those storybooks of his. "And that they miss me."

"They say... they want me to come home." Gwilym's voice subtly cracked, as he rose a hand to run a set of fingers across his beard. You watched as he grinned, and turned his eyes to you.

"Well?" You asked in a quiet breath. "Are you gonna go?" You didn't want to ask, though. Because as much as you wanted nothing more than for Gwilym to be happy, really happy... you'd miss him.

Gwilym considered your question and seemed to watch you think. You held your breath as if that would stall your thoughts and hoped he couldn't hear how heavily your heartbeat. Gwilym seemed to decide something, moving his head as he reached to leave the letter on the countertop behind him. He pressed the heels of his hands against the space, and looked right at you with a question of his own.

"Would you come with me?"

"You want me to come with you?" You asked through a stunned chuckled, wondering if he could have at all been kidding. Wondering what the catch was. Gwilym watched you trying to understand, and pushed himself from the counter. He closed the space between the two of you by raising both of his strong hands, and holding your face in his gentle touch.

He seemed to search for the right words but he settled instead for a nod as his eyes peered into yours.

And you knew better than to say no. When had life opened up such a grand opportunity? The last time that happened, chances lead you right to Gwil. The simple thought of taking another step through life side by side was enough to send your heart into a frenzy. Your boggled mind swept away all logical thought, so all you could do was nod along, and smile like an idiot.

Then Gwilym kissed you. He wrapped his arms around you so tight you couldn't budge even if you wanted too. But there was no place else you could imagine being. He kissed you into a dizzy trance. You couldn't even be sure if you were kissing him back with the proper gusto, you just held on and hoped he was alright with the fact you didn't plan on ever letting go.

///

It took a while. A few more months before you and Gwilym even began to discuss making it official. By then, you’d gotten through almost all of the hard talks. And once the cold started to leave, it was decided the pair of you would too.

"Is that everything?" Dean wondered, still sporting that silly, ill-fitting knit cap though spring had started to blossom

"Hm, should I throw out a couple of sweaters and make room for you?" You asked the guy, passing your luggage to Gwilym who took your last bag to the boat waiting at the base of the island.

"Someone's gotta be here to give you a lift, when you get back." Dean wagged a finger, pushing you toward his trusty old ride and worrying that you'd miss your flight. He worried all the way across the bay, actually; if you'd packed enough and left a key in the right spot, so he could come and manage Gwil's garden. Dean demanded one of you phone when you got to where you were going, and helped you carry your bags onto the boardwalk. Dean even waited with you as Gwilym went into the shop to call a cab.

You said the last of your goodbyes to the friend you'd come to know, confident your connection was one that would never die. Dean pulled you into a constricting hug when Gwilym came back. And after a while, you whispered a small thanks into Dean's ear. He'd been the best kind of friend you had ever known.

"Help him write one of those letters to me, too, okay?" Dean nodded toward Gwilym, as he pulled away from your embrace. You gave a mock salute and let your heart melt a little when the two men shared their own goodbye.

Your friend turned around the boardwalk to wave every few feet, as he trailed off to the shop. You waved back every time, and Gwilym laughed, keeping one hand firmly curled into your side.

"You sure about this?" He asked, in that delightful accent of his, as his gaze swept across the town. A cab was sputtering closer from the highway. You responded by reaching for his hand, and drawing his knuckles close enough to kiss. Even though you'd come far enough to hold his hand and share midnights together, reassurance was never neglected. And you still had lots more to share, anyway. More to talk about. More to see. More life to live, and figure out with Gwilym.

He gave your hand a squeeze before his grasp slipped away at the appearance of your ride. The driver shuffled out of the car to help Gwilym toss your bags into the boot.

"Where too?" The driver asked before settling back behind the wheel.

"The airport." Gwilym grinned, opening the back door for you, and following as you slid to settle and enjoy the ride.

"Home." You corrected, with a nod toward the man you'd come to adore. He responded by lacing his fingers through yours once more and placing a kiss on the back of your hand, his eyes staying glued to yours all the while, bluer that the waters you'd once fallen into.

Moving here was probably the best thing you ever did. But leaving was already better.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

#gwilym lee #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee fanfic #gwilym lee imagine

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rae-does-stuff · 3 years

Text

Day 7; Sunrise and Sunset: Romano x Nyo!Luxembourg

Sup dudes! So this is my last entry for @aphrarepairweek2021 I'm glad that I got through until the end and I was able to share my works and see everyone else celebrate their rare pairs!

Prompt: Sunrise & Sunset

Pairing: Roma x Nyo!Lux

AU: Human

Human Names:

Romano: Lovino Vargas

Nyo!Luxembourg: Sarah de Vries

Italy: Feliciano Vargas

Nyo!Belgium: Beau de Vries

Spain: Antonio Fernández Carriedo

Nyo!Netherlands: Mienke de Vries

————————————————

The train made a whistling noise. It was a rather picturesque scene. A train station, tons of noise, a beautiful sunrise in the background; the stuff you'd only see in artworks.

Lovino wasn't sure if he was ready to go yet.

"All aboard!" Called the conductor.

Scratch that, it wasn't that Lovino wasn't ready, it was that he didn't want to go. He didn't want to leave Feli and his little brother but Antonio and Feli insisted, he needed a break from work. New scenery and all that crap.

And so they booked a crosscountry train ride across Europe for him. It's supposed start in Spain and go through France, Switzerland, Italy (his home country) and other countries.

Antonio gave him a pat on the back, "Well then mi amigo, go on! See the world! Find amor!"

Lovino grumbled, "Don't touch me."

Antonio didn't seem to mind his tone, "Go or your going to miss your train!"

Lovino picked up his suitcase, "Well, see you later you b*stard."

And with that he boarded the train.

————————————————

Sarah wasn't listening to her older brother's fretting.

"Just stay safe okay?"

Sarah blinked, "What?"

Beau gave her a small sigh and smiled, "Nothing. Just be careful okay Sare Bear?"

Mienke offered her two cents, "Keep yourself and your money safe. You never know who's dangerous and who's not."

Sarah laughed a little, "Don't worry I'll be fine."

The conductor yelled, "All aboard!"

Sarah jumped up to hug her siblings, "Goodbye big bro, bye big sis!"

Mienke wasn't used to the affection, "Ahem, you should get to your train."

Beau said goodbye and Sarah was off to find adventure in Europe.

————————————————

Lovino was in awe of the train, although he'd never admit it. Feli would love to paint it.

Time flew by until it was sunset.

Lovino decided to take a walk around the train cars.

That's when he saw a woman with long light brown hair trying to drag a hefty suitcase around. She looked as if she was apart of the aristocratic crowd and part of hair covered her right eye.

Lovino, being the nice person he was (well, pretty much only to women) decided to help her out.

He went over and helped her out.

Luckily, they weren't that far from where she wanted to go.

Once they moved the suitcase, the woman said, "Thanks!"

"You're welcome. What was I supposed to do when I saw a pretty bella such as yourself struggling with that suitcase."

The woman giggled, "I'm Sarah by the way."

"Lovino. Lovino Vargas."

Sarah offered, "As a thank you, maybe I can buy you breakfast tomorrow? Or dinner?"

Lovino panicked for a minute. Usually whenever he helped a girl out she didn't offer him dinner, he didn't expect Sarah to actually offer him breakfast or dinner.

"I- I would like that."

Sarah gave him a smile, "Then it's settled! I'll see you tomorrow at the second dining car." She turned around and opened the door to her room, "Bis Muer*!"

She shut the door behind her leaving Lovino mumbling a weak, "Arrivederci bella*."

————————————————

Sarah waited at a table the next morning. She had faith, perhaps too much, that Lovino was going to come. She had even dressed up in her favorite blue and white pinstripe dress for the occasion.

A few things stood out about him from other people. One of the biggest was that he didn't recognize her as a de Vries sibling.

She was spacing out when Lovino sat at the table in front of her, "Sarah?"

Sarah perked up a bit, "Yes? Oh Lovino! I knew you were coming. I was looking forward to this!"

Lovino looked down, slightly embarrassed (why, Sarah didn't know), "Grazie*."

Sarah asked, "So what brings you on such a big trip?"

Lovino shrugged, "My little brother and a friend of mine told me that I needed a break from work so they booked me a ticket. What about you?"

"I needed to get away from home. Don't get me wrong, I love my home and my family, I just feel like I need to figure things out for myself."

Sarah asked another question, "Where exactly do you work Lovino?"

"I own and run an Italian restaurant. Not one of those cheap bullsh*t knockoffs but a legitimate one. I should know I am Italian myself."

Sarah gave a polite smile, "An Italian? I'm from Luxembourg myself. I'm a bit of a businesswoman too."

"Luxembourgish and a business woman Sounds fancy."

"Indeed it does."

————————————————

It was the last day of the trip and Lovino was having fun with Sarah. He hoped that Sarah was having fun with him.

Lovino sat down and Sarah plopped in the seat in front of him.

It was sunrise and they were almost back at the train station in Spain.

Sarah sighed, "I wish that this trip wouldn't end."

"I know, I wish that too."

And he really meant it. As much as he missed his family and friends, part of him wished that he could stay here with Sarah, a woman he had known for less than a week.

Sarah asked abruptly, "What if we never see each other again?"

Lovino panicked a bit at the thought, "We will see each other again after this trip ends. I promise you that, bella."

Sarah let out a dry laugh, "You still haven't told me what 'bella' means. I also don't know your last name or anything similar. It's funny how this stuff works."

"To be fair, I also don't know your last name or anything similar. Also, I didn't tell you what 'bella' means?"

Sarah shook her head.

Lovino explained, getting redder as his explanation started to turn into a ramble, "It means beautiful and well, you are beautiful so I called you that and it stuck. And you really are beautiful and smart and funny and all that sh-"

He was cut off by Sarah kissing him. He pulled her closer and kissed back. Boy, was he a good kisser.

Sarah pulled away, “My name is Sarah de Vries. That’s my last name, de Vries.”

Lovino told her, “My name is Lovino Vargas.”

————————————————

Sarah left the train holding hands with Lovino. She never expected to find a lover during her trip.

It was a pleasant surprise.

The End

————————————————

So that’s my last submission!

Translations:

Bis Muer: See you later in Luxembourgish

Arrivederci bella: Goodbye beautiful in Italian

Bye!

- Rae 💜🖤

#hetalia #nyotalia #nyo!luxembourg #hws romano #aph romano #aphrarepairweek2021 #romalux #luxmano

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sarcastic-space-gal · 4 years

Text

Dark Past (Part 1)

Summary: Black shirts are supposed to be the most trained and deadly members of the Starfleet. However, they are considered just stories or legends, because no one has ever saw one before. But after John Harrison attacks the London’s Archive, the Enterprise may acquire a new crew member.

Part 2

Pairing: ?

Word Count: 2k

Warning: Fighting (?)

A/N: Hi everyone! It was a long time since I wrote for Star Trek and I thought this was the time for another story. The pairing is voluntarily mysterious, if you want to guess who will be, send me a message or comment! Hope you will like it, feedback is always appreciated. Love you all xoxo

The only one or the last one? Everyone who ever looked at you wondered about that every time, whether it was out loud or in their mind, and even he didn’t want to admit it, Kirk did ask to himself the same thing. I mean, seeing a black shirt was rather rare in the Starfleet, many of the crew members around the ships always thought about them as legends or as made up stories used to intimidate the enemies. As the Captain thought, they were probably rumors, just some odd, silly stories told by students in the Academia. Turned out, it was totally untrue.

When Admiral Pike convened all the Captains in order to decide what to do about John Harrison, Kirk couldn’t help but find in Pike’s expression a slight hint of concern: John Harrison was probably more than just a terrorist, what was his real purpose?

Admiral Marcus entered the meeting room “Be seated”

“By now some of you know what happened in London. The target was a Starfleet data archive. Now it’s a damned hole in the ground, 42 men and women are dead”

Silence filled the room.

“One hour ago, I received a message from a Starfleet officer, who confessed to carrying out this attack, that he was being forced to do it by this man, Commander John Harrison. He’s one of our own. And he is the man responsible for this act of savagery.”

“A single man against all Starfleet?”

“That’s what it seems” Marcus responded simply.

“I think we must introduce the black shirt”

After Admiral Pike had spoken everyone in the room started murmuring to each others both in surprise and amusement.

Marcus looked down at the table, hesitant “Are you sure about this?” he asked at Pike.

“Sir, what are you talking about? I thought that black shirts were just a story” a rather young captain said suddenly.

Marcus sighed and looked even more serious “Those stories are true” he said.

Kirk shared a confused look with Spock, who was on the opposite side of the table.

“But we have no time for a campfire story now. Kirk” he glared at him, making the captain’s eyes dart to him “the black shirt will go with you and your crew on the Enterprise, you will track him down and kill him.”

The Enterprise was his again. But something in all the situation just didn’t sound right. An archive? Why bombing an archive? What was his real purpose?

Soon after, Marcus invited him to talk about the matter, seeing him and Pike murmuring frantically.

What happened next was completely unexpected. As soon as Jim explained his concerns about the matter, the room shined in a deep red light as John Harrison appeared in a jumpship and attacked Starfleet Headquarters. It was a bloodshed. Many members of the Senior Council died along with Admiral Pike.

Kirk almost couldn’t believe it when he saw Pike’s limp body on the couch.

After that night Kirk was wracked, emotionally and physically. He knew he had to regain his composure, for him, for his crew, and for Pike: he had to complete the mission.

Admiral Alexander Marcus reinstated Kirk and Spock to Enterprise with orders to kill Harrison using a new long range stealth photon torpedo.

“Jim, I know you are here c’mon!” Kirk heard a far-to-well known voice coming from outside his cabin.

“Bones I told you already, I’m fine!” he said opening the door and quickly heading to the shuttle. The doctor was right after him with medical equipment steady in his hand ready to check on Jim.

“The hell you are” he said but the Captain could see his concern behind the snarky response.

With a heavy sigh he gave his friend a small smile “I’m fine”

Bones didn’t insist this time.

“Everything is ready Spock?”

“Yes Captain, we are ready to reach the Enterprise”

Suddenly a sound of quick footsteps echoed in the hangar as everyone’s attention was brought to Scotty. “Jim a black shirt? Aboard? I heard the others talking about it but I wanted to hear it from you sir” Spock and Kirk shared a look.

“It’s true” Jim said with a small smile. He wasn’t sure what to say, because the pieces of information he had were quite limited, even if he was the captain.

“Well, that’s a surprise” responded Bones folding his arms. The doctor was really curious and even if he would never admit it, he was rather excited. He wasn’t the only one: by the time they were talking, a small group of crew members formed around the Captain, probably out of curiosity. Word travels fast.

“We will all talk about the mission and the new uhm, member of the crew on the Enterprise, for now let’s just get there and gather everything we need”

With a shared sigh of delusion all the crew members who gathered around the captain quickly went to take their seats on the shuttle.

The Enterprise was ready to fly, all the check ups were done. Bones was gathering medical supplies in his studio when the sound of Jim’s voice echoed through the ship’s speakers. A meeting. And everyone knew what was the matter.

“C’mon let’s go and see this mythical creature” he said.

The CMO reached the bridge after few minutes and walked up to Jim and Spock who were talking to Sulu. Jim looked a lot better than few hours ago, as Spock kept his usual quite demeanor, with his hands behind his straight back, but Sulu was hiding a small smile, probably out of excitement.

“So? Where is the legendary black shirt?” the doctor said sarcastically.

“Trust me Bones, I was surprised too”

Sulu nodded “I think we all are, sir”

Suddenly the elevator’s doors opened to reveal a figure who steadily entered the bridge. The room went silent, all the chattering muted almost instantly as if their breaths were caught in their throats.

Adjusting the fabric of your uniform, you entered in the elevator and pushed the button. Your hands went behind your back as you used to do when meeting the Captain or the person in charge. Your eyes closed as you moved your shoulder softly inward and outward a few times, trying to relieve some of the nervousness. The elevator took just few seconds to reach the bridge but they were enough for your mind to drift away. So much time had passed since you joined a normal ship, with normal crew members, but it was quite refreshing you had to admit it. You opened your eyes again and saw your reflection on the glass doors of the elevator. The black fabric of your suit still fitted perfectly, even if you probably didn’t want it to be. This mission was very important and you had to handle it in the best way you could, as a black shirt should do.

With a soft sound the elevator reached its destination and you entered the bridge, feeling all the crew’s eyes on you. Even if you were aware of the fact that black shirts were considered nothing more than stories and jokes, that was probably why everyone’s mouth went shout the moment you entered.

Walking steadily with you arms still behind your back and a severe but calm expression, you approached the captain, who was now watching you attentively as you could attack someone at any moment. The men close to them looked the same way, only the Vulcanian First Officer remained calm, even if you noticed the slight movement of his weird-shaped eyebrow going up in slight surprise.

“Captain Kirk” you said, standing right in front of him “I’m the black shirt assigned to your mission, I’m really glad to be part of the Enterprise’s crew. My name is Y/n”

He looked at you hesitantly “We are happy to have you here, welcome to the crew Y/n” he then said with a small smile.

“Let me introduce you our First Officer, Spock”

“Welcome aboard Lieutenant” he respectfully said with a smile.

“Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, the Chief Medical Officer, Doctor McCoy with his ‘legendary hands’”

The doctor turned his face towards Kirk and muttered “Unbelievable”

“and Lieutenant Uhura”

You listened carefully and shook their hands, but all the time you felt two pair of eyes on you, which you didn’t mind it at all. But now you had a mission, you had to keep yourself focused.

“So you exist” a male voice with a thick Russian accent caught your ears. The yellow shirt was a very young man who was looking at you in awe.

“Well,” you started, but Kirk quickly replied.

“I must say, as Mr Chekov has already introduced, that is very surprising, for all of us, to see a black shirt around”

“I understand that, we’re not so popular around”

Everyone had to admit it, your presence was quite intimidating, maybe for the deep color of your suit, but instead your voice was so calm and gentle, and at the same time steady and strong. They all probably expected a massive muscular mountain-looking man with a neutral face probably drooling in rage. Instead here you were, with the calmest voice in the universe and a killer look that rose in your face every time your smile faded. If possible, everyone was even more intrigued and they were all waiting to see you in action.

“Definitely not enough” Mr Chekov said with a small smile on his face.

“Mr Chekov, I think you should get back to the warp core”

“U- yes sir” he said before sprinting out.

You couldn’t hold back a small laugh.

“Well, Y/n, let me explain the mission”

Apparently John Harrison was now on Kronos. Perfect. Klingons. you thought. It didn’t matter what creature you would face, your had to complete this mission. You began gathering all thing you needed, eyes darting around your supplies with determination. When you were finally ready you headed towards the bridge.

Walking around the corridors was amusing: everyone looked at you like they saw a dragon let loose, but you were far too used to it. A long time ago this was normality...

Ten minutes had passed since the ship entered the planet’s atmosphere and even if the area was supposed to be uninhabited, a Klingon ship suddenly appeared in the sky. The captain had tried few quick maneuvers to avoid them but ultimately you found yourselves surrounded and forced to land.

Lieutenant Uhura offered herself to go out and try to talk to them, leaving you, Kirk, Spock and two others crew members aboard ready to take action.

“We should help her”

Spock looked at the captain “I would not recommend that”

Kirk sighed and then turned his head towards you “When was the last time you went on a mission Lieutenant?”

“Surprisingly not so much time ago Captain” you said as your eyes kept staring forward.

Some Klingon soldiers approached Uhura as she started talking to them in their language. Kirk’s hand tightened around the blaster.

Few seconds went by when suddenly the soldier talking to the lieutenant grabbed her neck ferociously, lifting her up.

“NOW” you shouted while exiting the ship as you started shooting at the Klingons. Uhura took advantage of the moment and stabbed the Klingon, who released the grip on her neck with a horrible scream.

Kirk and Spock, along with the others red shirts, followed you out the ship and started shooting too. The captain’s eyes searched for you in the battlefield but you were nowhere to be seen. Furrowing his eyebrows, he had no time to think about that and kept fighting.

All of a sudden, from an unknown position, someone started shooting at the Klingons.

“Where is Y/n? And who is it?” Kirk shouted while leaning on his back as Spock and Uhura approached him. That’s when he saw you, when they all saw you. With extreme agility you were fighting against the soldiers, swinging your legs and shooting, you never missed a shot. You were so skilled that all your movement almost seemed staged, as your eyes darted in every direction, fully focused. When all the Klingons around you were finally down, you looked up and saw a figure, your features darkened in rage. Kirk and the others looked up too and saw the mysterious figure pull off his mask to reveal John Harrison himself.

“John Harrison! You are-” Kirk started, but he couldn’t finish what he was saying because it all happened so fast.

Harrison jumped down from his high position without even flinching and started aiming his weapons, but, much to Kirk’s surprise, he was aiming them at you.

“You” he said in a deep and steady voice. He then dropped the blasters as you did.

Only few meters separated you both, as everything around you went silent for an instant: you stood steadily in front of him with an intense and undefined look on your face.

Kirk, Spock and Uhura shared a quick glance as they all thought the same thing. He knows her? What is happening?

“Khan”

As soon as you responded, you ran to him and started fighting with all your strength, punching, kicking as he did the same. Khan grabbed you neck but with a rapid movement you moved his hand away, pushing his elbow down and then swinging back your leg making him fall to the ground. You had no time to punch him because he had already stood up and punched you in the face. As nothing even had touched you responded striking a hard blow to his chest.

“So you work with them now?”

“Always had, always will” you responded seriously. He then took a gun from his belt and fired at you, hitting you on your shoulder.

“NO!” your crew members shouted, but they were all soon surprised.

You turned again towards Khan, your suit now had a big hole where the shot pierced but you weren’t bleeding, your skin was red but instead the wound was rapidly healing, leaving no trace of the hit.

Kirk watched in utter confusion as Spock and Uhura kept their weapons aimed to Harrison or… Khan.

He saw your skin healing and scoffed a little.

“Like I thought” his low voice pierced you ears. Analyzing the situation he asked one last question “How many torpedoes do you have on the ship?”

“72” Spock said.

You looked at him, your face contorted in rage.

He then looked back at Kirk “I surrender”

#star trek #star trek imagine #kirk x reader #spock x reader #leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #jim kirk x reader #star trek into darkness #into darkness #star trek beyond #kirk imagine #spock imagine #bones imagine #khan noonien singh #chris pine #zachary quinto #karl urban

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mortyvongola2-0 · 4 years

Text

Proof of Strength

Chapter 1: Whiff

Pairing: Alpha! Kylo Ren x Omega! Reader

Genre: a/b/o fic, slowburn, multichapter, 18+

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: language, sexual themes, lying, and a/b/o dynamics.

Read it on AO3

Next Chapter

The First Order offered great opportunities. You were poor and downtrodden when they showed up, claiming to have solutions to your poverty, that they would clothe, bathe, and provide food for all in exchange for hard work. Their propaganda promised a beautiful future, where no one would ever be as poor as you were again. Immediately, you wanted to join but there was one rather large problem. The First Order only hired alphas and betas. And therein lied your problem, as you were neither an alpha nor beta. You were an omega.

Omegas were rare, as the gene mutation required to be an omega was even more recessive than the alpha gene. They were less independent, they required protection and mass amounts of supervision during their heats, and the biggest difference in strength was in their upper bodies, as omegas do not require the upper body strength of an alpha or even a beta. In exchange the lower body strength of an omega was much more prevalent then for either other designation. Being an omega was also a lot harder to hide then being an alpha, the hormones of an omega heavily influence those of other designations, which was most likely the reason why the First Order did not hire or train them.

Nowadays, alphas found omegas to be more of a chore than anything. It used to be that alphas and omegas were fated to bond, that they would thrive well when mated with one another, but as more and more betas arose the less alphas wanted to put in the extra effort to take on an omega. You understood, if you weren’t an omega you wouldn’t want to have to be stuck with what the rumors made you sound like either. But, to you, there would always be something special about the bond between an alpha and omega. Others called you an idealist, or a romanticist, but you had seen that special bond firsthand. Your parents had that bond, so strong and beautiful, and you wished for that same sort of love.

You scratched at the scent gland on the left side of your neck as you stared at the First Order poster on the wall. The wind blew your scarf into your face along with some grains of black sand. I could get away with it, you thought. This shouldn’t be a problem. You clicked your tongue and tugged the poster off the wall. My family needs the money, and everything else they’re offering doesn’t sound too bad. Can’t imagine it being any worse than this. You rubbed a dirty finger under your nose and began to walk back out and into the streets, the poster now shoved into your satchel and a hum on your lips, images of infiltrating the First Order playing continually in your mind’s eye. This’ll be fun.

This is most certainly not fun, you thought as you crawled, much slower than everyone else, along the thick mud. The First Order really knew how to whip its people into shape, that’s for sure. You had passed their physical exam, as the differences between omegas and female betas bodies were very minimal hormone wise, and you made sure you had been suppressing with steroids long enough beforehand to not have to worry about being caught, besides hardly anyone tested for steroids anymore. Most designations didn’t suppress and if they did it was with more herbal remedies, as steroids were seen as archaic and more dangerous than helpful. The biggest differences between omega and beta, however, were all anatomically the same as an alpha. A bonding gland and six scent glands; one on each side of the neck right under the jaw and closer to the ears, one in each wrist, and one at each junction where pelvis met pubic area. But luckily for you, they didn’t do any full body scans and your bonding gland was smaller than average, so it could be easily passed as a simple knot or inflamed muscle on your shoulder.

However, passing the physical labor portions, like crawling, climbing, heavy lifting, pushups, and even shooting, those were the tests where the true difficulty for you was. You were barely scraping by, and it took all your effort to be passable in these areas of strength. Unfortunately, that meant you were at the very bottom of your class, but at this point you were far too invested to give up. Passing was still passing; no matter what place you were. Though your testing scores and stamina more than made up for what you lacked. You were a quick study so your grades placed you above average testing wise, which balanced out with your physical scores, rounded you out to a nice average.

You were very aware of how suspicious your weaknesses could make you seem, so you did your best to tone down the strengths of your lower body as well as worked really hard to increase what you could do with your upper body. And after a little more than a year of training, you were officially inducted as a member of the First Order, smack dab in the middle of your class. You were so proud of yourself and were extra relieved when you learned that your position put you far away from the frontlines.

As time passed your work ethic brought you more and more promotions. Seven years after your graduation saw you as a lead programmer and the promotion after that brought you to your station on the Finalizer. You loved your job. The only downside to it was the amount of exposure to the Commander as well as the General of the First Order. Both of which were very strong alphas, probably the strongest you had ever seen. The stronger the alpha the better they could smell and the more reactive they were to omega hormones and pheromones/scents. You had to avoid them like the plague, as despite your monthly steroid suppressions they would still be able to catch a whiff of your scent. If you got too close your cover would be blown and you’d be removed, or worse killed, for your lies. Just thinking about it had you close to hyperventilating.

“You alright?” Your coworker, Lee a beta, asked you and placed his hand on your shoulder softly. That snapped you out of your trance and you turned toward him calmly. You hadn’t realized that you’d been spacing out. Earlier that morning Kylo Ren had almost gotten close enough to smell you and that had thrown you into a frenzied inner monologue of please don’t take a deep breath, please don’t take a deep breath, please don’t take a deep breath!

“Leave her alone, she literally almost bumped into the Commander this morning,” your other coworker, Avery also a beta, said in response to Lee. She pointed her fork at him and leaned forward on her elbows “Her life is probably still flashing through her eyes. She’s lucky he ignored her.”

“Ah man, that is lucky,” Lee mumbled and put his hand back down beside his plate. He picked up his eating utensils and used them to take a bite of the meat he had chosen from the dinner line. “Kylo Ren has been aboard for quite some time, why do you think that is?”

Avery shrugged then pushed her plate forward, no longer interested in her dinner choices. She used her fork to emphasize her hand motions. “I don’t know, but the General has been really on edge because of it.”

“Heh, he almost exploded this morning after Kylo Ren destroyed one of our consoles. I’d never seen so much color on his face before,” Lee snickered. You snorted in response, remembering the steaming General in all his angered glory. The feud between the ginger and the helmeted knight was no secret, they fought often and loudly. Hux with his sarcasm and snarky attitude and Kylo Ren with his blatant disregard for all of the rules and commands the General had in place. It was quite comical really, like a well-rehearsed routine. You slurped up your soup thoughtfully.

“What I wouldn’t give to sit on that pale face,” Avery said in a playful lilt. You promptly spit out your soup and Lee choked on the water he had started to sip at.

“Kriff, Avery, don’t say crap like that when I’m eating,” you grumbled and started to wipe up the mess you had made. She snickered and crossed her arms over her chest triumphantly, unashamed of her hazardous mindset. You could see it now, the General chuckling as he shoved her out the airlock for embarrassing him. You shivered.

“What? I’m serious,” she said with a smirk. “He is one attractive man. You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it.”

I’m too busy thinking about the ways he’d murder me if he got close enough to smell me, you thought and shook your head at her. “Nope, can’t say that I have.”

“You’ve seriously never thought about it? What about for any of the other officers? Is there not an alpha you would pretend to be an omega for?”

“Avery, give it a rest. Not everyone is as crazed as you,” Lee muttered. “Besides, don’t you think they would rather have an actual omega then someone pretending to be one?”

“But there are hardly any left, plus I remember someone talking about how much of a hassle being bonded to an actual omega is.” That irked you. You doubted anyone, let alone any alpha, on this ship had actually met an unsuppressed omega let alone bonded with one.

“Well you could still be a bit more respectful.” You nodded in response to Lee. Respect would be nice, you felt like you were owed at least a little of it due to your success in hiding who you were and proving that omegas were more than capable of caring for themselves. “Leave your weird fetishes for your diary log.”

“How do you pretend to be an omega?” Curiosity had gotten the better of you.

Lee sighed loudly and placed his hand against his forehead. “Why would you encourage her.” Avery, in response, beamed at you and leaned forward; both of her hands pressed against the table and fork long forgotten by her plate. “Pretending to be in heat is of course the main thing. Except, be a bit less needy and it’s not like you can actually last for as long as a real heat. You can also say a bunch of stuff about scent, and bonding, and blah blah blah, pretend to be weaker and in need of protection, it’s a lot of fun if your partner is into it.”

“Gross,” you muttered and took another slurp of your soup. Heats in general were gross. They were long, lasting anywhere from 5 to 14 days. It started with a fever, general sluggishness, difficulty breathing and a foggy mindset, eventually your body would start the reproductive response. Slick would start to pool around your entrance and your glands would swell to the point of discomfort, it hurt quite a bit. An urge to lesson discomfort through orgasm would grow and eventually everything would begin to blend together. Pheromones would be released in order to attract any nearby alpha and force them into a rut. The only things that could lessen the immense discomfort were sex and medications, but those were short term remedies, as their effects would dissipate rather quickly. Unless the sex involved a knot then, and only then, the discomfort would dissolve long enough for an omega to take care of themselves. Part of the reason why they required protection during their heats was because they risked dehydration and malnourishment the longer the heat went on.

You had never had sex, let alone with an alpha, so you weren’t entirely sure how clear minded you became after knotting. Even now it had been many years since your last heat, but you could somewhat remember struggling through them earlier on in your life. “I don’t think so but, whatever. I’ve got to get back to training some new recruits.” Avery yawned and stood. She grabbed her tray and started walking toward the exit. “See you guys later.”

“Bye,” you stated and waved in response, now trying your best to remember what struggling through your heat felt like.

“She needs to keep quiet about stuff like that,” Lee told you quietly. “The First Order is very strict about relations between officers. She could get in real trouble for just saying some of that stuff.”

“Then you need to be careful too.” A smirk crawled onto your face and you wiggled your eyebrows at him. “Did you think you and Miss Vanya were being discreet?” A light blush dusted his tan ears. You chuckled at his embarrassment and shook your head. “I didn’t need to hear the two of you in your office, but I did. You’re more of a screamer than I thought.”

“I um, I just realized I still have a project I need to finish, so I’ll uh- we’ll talk later,” he scrambled to clean his area. “See you!”

After he scurried off you kept your smirk and finished your soup. You checked the time to make sure you still had a bit before you needed to head back and lazily began to clean your space. A yawn escaped your lips as you started your trek back to your office.

Lee and Avery were good people, very smart and hard workers. Avery had been your friend since your initial training, she had helped immensely with trying to get your upper body in shape. The two of you had been separated after initiation and reunited when they assigned you to this ship. Avery was now the trainer assigned to your section, working alongside or sometimes directly under you to help the newer programmers meet First Order standards.

Lee had trained you in your original position when you first arrived on the Finalizer and now, he was directly in charge of the stromtrooper training programs and battle training designs. You were proud of him, even though his position meant you couldn’t see him as often. He was at Captain Phasma’s beck and call, coming up with the ideas that your department would bring to life via code. Again, you snickered thinking about his embarrassment at your discovery. You were determined to never let him live it down.

Once you reached your office, you punched in your code and the doors easily slid open. Your main job was to receive orders and delegate the coding and programming to those under you. The paperwork was immense, and you hardly ever got to do any of the actual programming that you enjoyed, but you enjoyed the raise and respect the position brought you. Besides, if someone else didn’t understand or finish their work, it was up to you to do it so there were occasions when you got to do what you enjoyed, however rare they were. You slid into your desk chair quietly and got to work.

Later in the evening, after your shift had finished, you entered your quarters and immediately knew something was wrong. The hairs on the back of your neck were standing, and your omega instincts were kicking into gear. Predator, your mind supplied. The faint scent of alpha pheromones tickled your nose and you shivered. The suppressants dulled your sense of smell, so you could not identify who it was, but you knew what they were. You took a tentative step forward, hands trembling and body on full alert. Who would have access to your quarters? Higher command had access, generals, captains, commanders. An alpha and a higher up, oh no. They must know. They’re here to kick me out, to kill me, they know!

You took a few more steps forward, right outside the open entrance to your bed. They were in there, in your room, the smell was stronger in that direction. There was no sound, so they weren’t moving, but they were in there. A cold sweat broke out all over your body and you could take a guess as to who it was. It had to be the Commander. He was the only one who had been close enough to you to get a good whiff of your suppressed omega smell. Kylo Ren was absolutely going to murder you, no question. Still trembling, you resigned yourself to your fate, and finally stepped into your measly bedroom.

And there he stood, in all his black and murderous glory. Kylo Ren was standing against the left wall, his visor was turned toward you, effectively intimidating you further. You almost squeaked under his intense scrutinizing and judging by the way his chest rose and fell a bit more deliberately, you knew he was taking in your scent. He took a large step forward; you took a frightened step backward. That cycle continued until you were no longer able to back up. He had you back up against your refresher door, his helmeted head literally pressed into the crook of your neck, one hand at you hip and the other holding your head back to further expose your nape. Your instinctual response was submission and following that instinct you craned your head away and further into his hold, effectively exposing your scent and bonding glands to him. I’m going to die, he’s going to strangle me, and I will die.

And all at once, he pulled away.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo x you #kylo ren #a/b/o dynamics #mortyvongola2-0 fic #the peen does not get touched yet #kylo ren fic #kylo ren fanfiction #armitage hux

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afriendlyirin · 4 years

Note

Fandom: Star vs. The Forces of Evil

(Based on this meme.)

The first character I first fell in love with: Marco. I usually prefer the reasonable half of the wacky-and-reasonable duo, and Marco was no exception. His role as the long-suffering everyman made him a lot more sympathetic than Star the overpowered loose canon who was always causing problems for everyone.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Star. Like I said above, I didn’t like her at first because she was just too wacky and manic. But come season 3 and all of a sudden it’s all aboard the Trauma and Character Development train! It was pretty surprising to see her and Marco’s roles invert, and I thought her story of slowly recognizing her own privilege and the lies she was taught about her own history was a really well-done and topical narrative arc. I also really like that her resolution was voluntarily renouncing her power and privilege for the sake of those her culture had hurt. It’s really rare to see a “white ally” really walk the walk to that extent, and I hope it’s an inspiring lesson to the young kids who watched the show.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: I really don’t care about Heckapoo, sorry. Nor the rest of the MHC, but I don’t think any of the others are liked.

The character I love that everyone else hates: I’m not aware of any characters the fandom hates. Send supplemental data and I’ll get back to you.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Marco. Like I said, I felt his and Star’s roles reversed in the second half of the series, and it… did not reflect favorably on him, in my opinion. Suddenly now he’s the obstinate, thoughtless idiot who’s getting everyone into trouble? What happened to the thoughtful, considerate boy who always looked after what Star needed? Doesn’t help that he strangled season 4 by the red string – not entirely his fault, but I still spent a lot of time wishing he just wasn’t there.

Also, he’s boring. Sorry, but someone has to say it.

Oh, if I can fit two in, special mention to Moon, who seemed like such an interesting subversion on the “stern overbearing parent” archetype who was making so much progress with Star right up until she decided to become a Nazi apologist. Moon is cancelled, Eclipsa is Star’s new mom now.

The character I’d want to be like: Star, for having the bravery to make immense personal sacrifices for the good of the many.

The character I’d slap: I would do quite a lot more than slap Moon for thinking a military coup headed by Nazi ghosts was a completely reasonable thing that would lead to no consequences ever.

A pairing that I love: Tomstar. I didn’t care for it at first, but they really went the extra mile in selling it in season 3, to the point I seriously wondered if it was going to be endgame. I was really impressed to get to see a romantic arc where the “bad boy” the girl initially rejected really does change out of a genuine desire to be better both for her and for himself. I think it’s a very good counter to all the lazy and problematic bad boy romances out there to show what “It’ll be different this time, I promise” actually looks like if it’s genuine.

I find Tom a really interesting and somewhat relatable character, and I really liked how his romantic arc with Star demonstrated exactly how a romantic arc should serve the characters – by showing how much better they truly make each other, how they are greater together than they are apart. He starts season 3 callous and dismissive of Star’s political goals, but ends it realizing that it matters to him too.

A pairing that I despise: “Despise” is a strong word, but I don’t like Starco. Sorry, everyone. I can understand why Star likes Boring McOrdinaryboy, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is boring and I don’t want him in my ship. (Also because I resent the cliche that the male and female leads always have to hook up.) Star had so much more chemistry with Tom.

Oh, also, just slipping this in there: Screw the writers for queerbaiting us with all the Tomco stuff, seriously. They made it really explicit that Tom was bi and into Marco, then trashed his character to make him Marco’s wingman for the het ship at the last second. I seriously thought we might actually end with polyamory, and screw them for getting those hopes up for everyone when they always knew they wanted to end on the blandest possible het ship.

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #meta #svtfoe meta #ask meme #my posts #tomstar #starco #dappercritter

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andorwhore · 4 years

Text

Saudade - I of VII

Chapter I of VII: Disdain

summary: A year in the life of a rebel with a cause and a rebel in search of one… chapter one: Of all the days for a slicer to break into the wrong ship, today was by far the worst.

author’s note: Here we go, chapter one! This story has been my baby the past few weeks as I’ve worked on it, and I can’t wait to share the finished product with everyone! I’ll mention it again here since I’m sure most readers haven’t seen my preview post -- the name Jai that’s featured in the fic is pronounced Ji (like pi), rather than as Jay.

pairing: Cassian Andor x OC word count: 10,610 (i would say i’m sorry but i’m not) rating: T, eventual R warnings: none (yet)

chapter one || chapter two || chapter three || chapter four

[ff.net] [ao3]

Setting foot on the Ring of Kafrene always posed a risk for Cassian Andor. The Ring, being an Empire territory, was always crawling with stormtroopers just waiting to pounce on unsuspecting prey, whether that prey be a rebel or a petty street thief. The trading post was home to Maker knows how many people and races, dense with the traffic of travelers and traders alike no matter the time or day. Cassian was lucky, having not yet encountered any problems with the resentful soldiers, but, then again, he was well-versed in how to keep a low profile, how to evade the Empire forces on each street and lingering outside every shop, how to simply blend into the crowd as if he were any other visiting trader; many of the other rebels he knew through the years weren't quite so lucky.

Cassian had arrived at the Ring of Kafrene not but an hour ago to meet with Tivik, the Rebellion's informant stationed in the colony who, although endlessly trepidatious, was almost always reliable. For months now Cassian had been making routine visits to the Ring to collect intel, each visit bringing the Rebellion small steps closer to being able to take on the Galactic Empire. Many times, Tivik had information that really served little use to Cassian, however, he could never know when a meeting would be a hit or miss.

This particular visit was a miss; all Tivik could provide was information the Rebellion had already known, and though he made no show of chiding Tivik for wasting his time, Cassian was nevertheless miffed about the wasted trip.

Cassian maneuvered through the crowded streets focused and in silence, avoiding any of the usual Kafrene distractions he'd grown accustomed to encountering. The colony was disgustingly overpopulated and became temporary residence for far too many travelers on any given day, drawing the attentions of thieves from every walk of life, whether they be petty pickpockets just looking to grab a few tradables or accomplished slicers intent on draining someone's account of all their credits. Whatever the case, Cassian was careful to avoid everyone on the Ring, both merchants, pedestrians, and thieves alike.

Cassian was so focused on returning to his U-Wing that he hadn't taken immediate notice of the KX security droid walking down the intersecting street ahead of him, though it didn't take the captain very long to spot the robotic eyesore amongst the crowd. It could have been any other KX droid, which there were a small number of in Kafrene, but the slight alteration to it's gait would clue to anyone in the know that this particular model was in fact the reprogrammed K-2SO.

Cassian's brow furrowed as his jaw set, approaching the droid - he was supposed to be waiting back at the ship, but, in true fashion, the droid elected to ignore that particular direction. Trips to Kafrene were always easier when the captain went on his own, but on occasion the droid insisted on tagging along despite Cassian telling him each and every time to just stay on the ship.

K-2SO had already noticed Cassian's approach, and once the man was close and readying to scold the droid as if he were a disobedient child, Kay spoke up first, "There seems to be a particularly high count of stormtroopers today, Cassian."

The captain hadn't made the same observation as the droid, but he didn't allow the statement to distract him from his intent, "I told you not to leave the ship."

"Yes, well, I have a bad feeling about this increased Empire presence, you're better off with me nearby if conflict were to arise." Cassian stared hard up into the eyes of the droid for a few long moments before peeling away his gaze, looking around to assess the number of stormtroopers currently in their proximity. At the moment, he could only spot a pair far down the street that he'd just walked up - he figured that wherever Kay may have noticed the excess stormtroopers had to be nearer to the colony's starport.

"Do you not think your presence might draw their attention to me?" Cassian questioned while turning back to Kay. If a droid could make an expression, Cassian was sure K-2SO was looking down at him with something akin to ridicule. Even the way the droid raised his arm, hand pointed in the direction they'd have to walk to return to their ship, seemed somehow mocking.

"Go, walk ahead, I'll keep my distance." Kay spoke with attitude, to which Cassian side-eyed as he passed by the droid to lead them back to the ship.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The starport on the Ring of Kafrene was every thief's dream. Ships of traders, merchants, and everything in between were left relatively unattended, any security could be bought off if one had the right connections, and, if one was smart, they could make off with thousands of credits worth of goods. As ships improved and as droid security began to take over, it became more and more challenging for the average thief to get out of the port without being caught, but that meant less competition for the slicers amongst the Ring's residents.

Slicers weren't all that easy to come by on the trading colony. Actually, good ones weren't easy to come by - any amateur that somehow managed to get their hands on scramble keys suddenly started calling themselves slicers. And those were the same amateurs that got themselves thrown into a cell within hours of proclaiming, with severe overconfidence, that they had the skill to hack anyone's computer. No, the thieves drawn to the Ring of Kafrene very rarely had the aptitude for hacking, but then again, the colony wasn't exactly a prime destination for codebreakers to begin with. Slicers were far better suited for the Outer Rim Territories, on planets like Cantonica or Nevarro, where their skills could be put toward big jobs, where they were less likely to be harassed by any kind of authority. To be a slicer in the Expansion Territory was practically asking for trouble, asking for stormtroopers and the Empire to toss one behind bars without mercy.

However, there were a rare few slicers that could get by particularly well on the Ring of Kafrene. One of those infamous slicers, who managed to somehow be renowned in the slums of the colony and yet never encounter any trouble from the Empire, was named Tillian.

Tillian was a man known only by that one name, and very few had the pleasure of learning anything about him beyond that. As far as slicers went, he was arguably one of the best throughout the entirety of the Expansion Territory; and despite his criminal activity, Tillian had the consideration to share his skills with a select few that he saw potential in through the years. And one of those few was Jai'ren Tillian.

Jai was a young woman of unknown origin, but of well-known talent among the underbelly residents of the Ring of Kafrene. She may not have been a strong thief in comparison to all the competition that loitered around the colony, but where she lacked in pickpocketing, she excelled in hacking. Of the half dozen or so that Tillian had trained through the years, Jai proved to be the most apt for the talent of slicing, even from an early age.

Currently, Jai was taking the risk of breaking into multiple ships crammed into Kafrene's overcrowded starport. This wasn't her first, nor did she intend for it to be her last, visit to the port, slicing her way onto ships of all classes and sizes; Jai found that, for her, it was far easier to focus and get a job done when she wasn't distracted by the hustle and bustle of the cramped trading streets, and the risk of sneaking into the parking port was well worth the quiet she needed to get her task done.

Jai had just unlocked a third ship, stuffing her scramble key into the inner pocket of her coat while pushing a stray strand of ashy brown hair back up into her cap, careful to avoid shifting the goggles situated atop it. She threw a cautious glance back over her shoulder, bird-like eyes searching and ears listening to ensure no one had taken notice of her. With a satisfied expression she quickly ducked into the U-Wing and closed the door behind her to avoid any unwanted attention.

Jai stood in the hull, realizing that, despite the appearance from the outside that the ship was large, it's interior was actually a rather cramped space. Nibbling the inside of her lip, she eyed the hull left then right; she realized within a few moments that it didn't look like there was all that much lying around that would be worth anything to her. There were hardly any compartments or cubbies for storing goods, and it looked like the only serious computer aboard the ship wasn't used for much more than tracking whereabouts and sending messages. She let out a derided sigh while sliding her hands into the pockets of her worn pants, fingers toying with a small box she'd grabbed from the last ship she broke into just minutes prior.

'What a waste,' she thought, her eyes scanning the ship again in slow consideration. It looks as if she put in a lot of effort for a whole lot of nothing. But she might as well search for something, anything, to at least deem said effort reasonable - maybe, despite appearances, she could get her hands on something good.

"Right," Jai spoke aloud to herself, extracting her hands and lazily cracking her fingers down in front of her hips. She climbed up the couple of steps into the cockpit, eyeing the equipment briefly before checking every crack and crevice for some kind of valuables. After a minute, she stepped back down into the main hull of the U-Wing, eyes scanning more astutely to make sure she hadn't missed anything obvious. This ship's interior was so small, there was hardly space for much of anything; Jai noted that it would probably have felt cramped if there were any more than four or five people aboard.

As Jai considered the size of the ship, she looked down at her feet, studying the metal floor for a few long moments before her lower lip pushed out appraisingly - unless her eyes were deceiving her, it looked as if some of the floor panels lifted. Jai dropped to one knee to test her theory, finding that there was, in fact, a handle that she twisted to unlock. But she was all too quickly disappointed, finding that what was hidden under the floor was nothing more than a row of collapsible seats. With another frustrated huff, Jai pushed back down and locked the handle back in its place.

And at that same moment, the door to the U-Wing suddenly slid open.

Jai's head shot up so quickly that her cap and goggles nearly fell from her head, her coal eyes wide as they locked onto a man a few years her senior. He was frazzled as his harsh stare burned into her, panting deeply to catch his breath as if he'd been running at top speed. The surprise in his expression upon seeing the unexpected intruder quickly gave way to a look of vexation, brow knotting as he quickly stepped up into the ship, causing Jai to jump to her feet in panic. Her eyes briefly darted past the young man with alarm as she heard the sound of blasters, spotting a KX security droid not far behind. Blindly, Jai's hands fumbled along the wall behind her in hopes that she could somehow find the button to open the second hull door.

With surprising speed, the man jumped forward, slamming Jai against the wall and knocking the wind out of her, one hand putting pressure on the base of her neck and the other roughly gripping her at the elbow of one arm. His voice came out in a loud, rough growl, "Who the hell are you!?"

Jai's hands flew up, one gripping at the hand on her neck, the other to his chest, roughly trying to shove him away. Her black eyes shined with the same intensity as his own as she glared.

"Get off me." She hissed as she heard the droid clamber into the ship, heard the sound of blasters multiplying and growing closer. Tightening his grip on Jai, the man spun them around and shoved her back, Jai stumbling on her heels a few steps until she bumped into the KX droid, expecting it to immediately apprehend them both.

"We have to get out of here." The man spoke urgently to the droid, ignoring Jai as he took a defensive stance up against the wall and out of the line of fire, which had come to a momentary pause, "Get her the hell off my ship!"

Confusion pulled at Jai's expression - this man, who certainly wasn't with the Empire, just gave an Imperial droid orders? The droid interrupted her train of thought as it's large hand dropped onto Jai's shoulder, fingers roughly digging into her skin and causing her to let out a nearly feral hiss. Once more, she was momentarily disoriented as the droid spun her around on her heel, Jai tripping forward from the motion. Her wide eyes stared ahead of her with dread, eyeing the wall of rapidly approaching stormtroopers as they started taking aim once more, assuming her to be a part of whatever kind of trouble this man had stirred up. Jai sharply inhaled as she realized just how deeply she was in over her head.

Panicked instinct took over as Jai attempted to rip away from the KX droid, managing to roughly yank herself away from it's one-handed hold; but she wasn't fast enough to avoid the blast from one of the more trigger-happy troopers, who had misread her quick movement and assumed she was preparing to take action against them.

Jai's abdomen was suddenly searing with pain, as if someone had doused her insides with gasoline and set them on fire. A ragged scream ripped from her throat as Jai collapsed backwards from the impact into the droid before falling to her knees, grasping desperately at her stomach as she dropped.

Though the moment had only lasted a second, to Cassian it was as if it all moved in slow motion. He saw how rapidly this woman's eyes went from anger to panic to pain, how roughly she was shoved back from the power of the shot, and heard how heavily her knees collided with the floor. In that split second he had to make a decision. Did he shove her out onto the port to be left to the stormtroopers' mercy, or did he close the ship door with her still inside? She could have been just a small-time thief… but what if she was a spy? She needed medical attention - maybe he should help her. But if she was a spy… he could always bring her back to Yavin 4 and throw her in a cell for a little while.

In that second of thought, which weighed on Cassian as if it had lasted minutes, he thrust his hand onto the button to close the door before clambering up to the cockpit at top speed. Just as quickly as the door hand closed, the stormtroopers outside started to take fire, their shots ringing out against the U-Wing's metal exterior.

"We need to get out of here now, Kay!" He called authoritatively to the droid that still lingered over the woman, "We'll deal with her later."

Jai cursed under her breath as K-2SO moved to join Cassian in the cockpit. From where she knelt on the floor, curled into herself as she tried to ignore her pain, Jai turned her tear-stricken eyes up in the direction of the pair, her anger bubbling - she got shot because these two assholes did something to piss off the troopers. The fact that they were flying out of the Ring of Kafrene wasn't even a thought in her head as Jai tried to push herself up off the floor, resulting in another agonized shout to leap from between her lips. The sound called Cassian's attention, and he turned in his seat to stare sharply at the woman as she tried to fight against the pain racing through her. He met her eyes, momentarily perturbed by just how pitch black they appeared; the darkness of her eyes made the intensity of her glare all the more fiery and challenging.

Once the ship was a safe distance from the Ring of Kafrene and Cassian was certain Kay could handle the flight back to Yavin 4, he grabbed the medical pack from behind his seat and jumped down to assist the woman, particularly uninterested in having her bleed out on the floor of his U-Wing. Jai had managed to get herself propped up against the wall, slouched with the pained glare never wavering from her features as she watched Cassian approach. He held eye contact sternly, unphased by the harshness being sent his way. For a long moment, he simply stood above her, assessing Jai with a careful eye.

"Who are you?" He finally questioned, remaining firmly where he stood as Jai's gaze briefly flicked down to the medical kit in his hand.

"None of your business." She answered through clenched teeth as she tried to hold back another groan of discomfort.

"If you'd like me to help you, it is my business." He saw the woman peer at the medical bag again, obviously battling with herself over whether or not she should answer his question, "Why the hell were you on my ship?"

Jai clenched her lips tightly together as she studied the man before her - who the hell was this guy and what sort of trouble did she unintentionally get wrapped into? He had to be someone far worse than her if he had attracted the attention of every damn stormtrooper on Kafrene, which eliminated him from being any old thief or cheat. Jai assumed his ship was another obvious clue as to his affiliations, however, she knew very little about ships aside from how to break in and out of them so she could deduce nothing from it. Chances were he was a murderer or a rebel or some kind of conspirator against the Empire. Maybe even all three.

Jai gave a sudden, sharp inhale as her pain seemed to peak yet again, clenching her arms tighter around herself as she clamped her eyes shut. Cassian gauged her reaction with apathy, having decided that, until proven otherwise, he had to assume her an affiliate of the Empire to err on the side of caution. What other explanation was there for her presence aboard the U-Wing at the same moment that the stormtroopers attempted to apprehend him?

"Unless you start talking, I'll let you bleed until you pass out, and then we're dumping you on the nearest moon whether it's breathable or not." He spoke assertively, jaw tense and eyes authoritative. Jai's eyes opened a little weaker than before, agony beginning to wash away her defiant expression, "Did the Empire send you to my ship?"

Despite her discomfort, Jai gave a mocking and surprised huff, the corner of her mouth tugging into an offended grin, "The Empire? You think they'd hire some street rat to break into your ship?"

"Maybe you're just undercover." Cassian crossed his arms as he studied the way Jai's body began to react to her injury, how her breathing came out in shudders, how her skin began to pale, how her forehead glistened with sweat - she probably wasn't going to remain conscious all that much longer, "Look, you're not likely to make it either way, so you may as well admit the truth."

"What?" Genuine concern took Jai's expression at the prospect of possibly dying from this injury; she jolted from the fear, causing pain to course through her abdomen again. Cassian's brow quirked at the reaction - maybe she was just a run-of-the-mill Kafrene thief.

Jai's hand started fumbling in her coat for a moment, to which Cassian cautiously stiffened, loosening his crossed arms just enough for his free hand to linger a little closer to his blaster. She extracted what appeared to be some kind of small electronic chip, holding it in his direction a moment before dropping it into her lap, going back to pull a jewelry box from another pocket.

"I promise you, I'm just a thief," Her voice had begun to sound a little rough as she let her head drop back against the cool metal wall, "Just a thief who was looking to get some good steals; I'm not with the Empire."

Cassian stared into her worried face for a few moments longer, his brow furrowed as he watched for any nervous ticks or odd behaviors. But he spotted none, simply recognizing the desperate plea in her eyes, "… Okay."

He unfolded his arms and crossed the last few feet between them, taking a knee while opening the medical kit. A relieved inhale slipped past Jai's lips as she closed her eyes, attempting to even out her rocky breathing. After a few moments of rummaging, Cassian gave a curse under his breath - they were out of bacta spray. They must have forgotten to restock the kit after their last mission, and now he couldn't properly assist this woman.

His eyes swung back up to stare at Jai, resting his hands atop his knees as he thought - he had no choice but to bring her back to headquarters medical, because he surely couldn't turn around and try to drop her off with some doctor back on Kafrene. If he didn't bring her back with them to Yavin 4, there was no guarantee she'd get the proper help she needed, and Cassian wasn't interested in letting an innocent woman die because of him, even if she is a thief.

Jai realized Cassian had come to a pause and she opened her eyes, tiredly looking over at him expectantly, "… I don't have the supplies I need to fix this. I might have enough to hold you over until I can get you medical attention, though."

"Might?" Her voice was weaker, but her fear was no less obvious.

Cassian nodded, "I think I have painkillers and antiseptic, but that's not enough to fix this."

"You're saying I might fucking die because your med kit is inadequate?" Jai's voice was breathy, but her words still managed to carry some bite to them as her eyes darkened again.

"If we make it back to base on time, no." Cassian answered simply while reaching into the pack for what little supplies he did have to offer. He turned his head toward the cockpit slightly while calling out, "Kay, get us back as fast as you can."

"Is it really wise to bring her to headquarters?" The droid questioned as Cassian moved closer to Jai, holding the painkillers out to her.

"Where and what the hell is headquarters?" She questioned while taking the medication; her expression looked as if it were stuck in one of twisted discomfort.

Another hiss from Cassian as he dug around in the bag - no disinfectant either. This wasn't looking good. Despite that, he still dug out the bandages, though he knew they wouldn't do as much good as they could if he had antiseptic.

"Headquarters is none of your business." Cassian echoed Jai's earlier words back to her; though her energy was progressively growing weaker and weaker, Jai still managed to narrow her eyes suspiciously at the man. She prayed that she wasn't about to be dragged off somewhere awful and alarming by this stranger and his damned droid.

"Hm, that's not very reassuring…" Jai's voice came out far quieter than she had intended. Cassian watched Jai closely as her head started to loll a little, and instinctively he reached for her, knowing that, although her falling asleep could be no problem, it could more likely lead to her body caving to the injury. He rested a hand firmly on the back of Jai's head and lifted it, meeting her lidded eyes.

"You stay awake as long as you can, you hear me?" Jai gave him a tired nod, "Tell me your name."

Silence lingered between them for a few long moments as they stared at one another, "… Jai."

Cassian gave a single, slight nod, "Jai, we're going to Yavin 4."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Jai wasn't sure if she had passed out or if she had simply become too delirious with pain, because she came to realize she was lying in a hospital bed without any recollection as to how she got there. She awoke groggy and confused, though nonetheless she felt well and without pain despite knowing she had been shot in the stomach. For a long while, she simply lied on the cot, eyeing the room around here, listening to others moving around and chattering softly. She was in a hall that was obviously converted to be some kind of medical wing, with cots lining the wall on both her left and her right. The only other people in the room were, what Jai assumed to be, a medic and a patient at the far end of the room, the patient sitting on the furthest cot while in discussion with the medic.

After spending a few minutes observing the room and recalling the events that led her here, Jai sat up slowly, groaning slightly, though for the time being she was in far less pain than she had anticipated. The supposed doctor spotted her right away, and excused herself from the patient after a moment, approaching Jai who was rotating her head left and right to work out her neck muscles, hearing a chorus of satisfied pops go up her bones. Her eyes watched the medic's approach casually as the patient rose from his seat and slowly left the room.

"It's Jai, isn't it?" The second woman started once she came to a pause at the foot of the cot, the corner of her mouth pulling into a practiced, cordial smile, receiving a nod from Jai, who was now carefully stretching her body to test out the feeling in her abdomen, "I'm Miona. You remember why you're here?"

The question was asked as if Miona already knew the answer, as if she could tell Jai had a relatively clear memory of everything that went down on Cassian's ship. Despite that knowing tone, Jai gave a second nod anyway.

"Some guy and a robot got me shot, and they brought me back here." Jai's voice was scratchy from disuse. Miona accepted the response, hearing the attitude in Jai's tone and knowing it meant the other woman could remember a lot despite saying very little, "So, where I am, and what the hell is this place?"

Miona was, however, surprised by Jai's bluntness, not expecting the woman to jump into questions so quickly. Miona could still see in Jai's dark eyes and hear in her tone that she was tired, but she had enough sense about her to get to the important matters.

"Are you sure you don't want another few minutes?" the medic asked, though she already anticipated the response she was going to get - after working as the head medic for the Rebellion, she had become accustomed to patients waking, rising, and questioning quickly without regard for their condition. The pilots and spies Miona had dealt with through the years quite often sprang back quickly from treatment and didn't like to waste time. It looked as if this woman was going to do the same.

Another shake of Jai's head, "I don't need another few minutes."

Miona gave an accepting nod, taking a seat on the cot next to Jai's, "You bounce back like someone who's been in this position before."

"Well, I've never been shot," Jai turned to face Miona, moving her legs so they could hang over the edge of the bed. She felt the first noticeable jilt of pain in her abdomen, but it was nothing compared to what she felt aboard the U-Wing, "but a couple broken bones through the years toughen you up a little. How long was I out?"

"Nearly two days," Miona began to explain, "Captain Andor got you here as fast as he could. You're lucky, if it had been much longer the injury might have gotten too severe."

Captain Andor. So, now Jai had a name for the face, though the face in her memory was already a touch fuzzy.

"Lucky me." Jai muttered as her eyes scanned the room again curiously, "And where is here?"

Miona paused and considered - she spoke with Cassian when he dropped off the injured woman, and he hadn't given her any warnings about what she should or shouldn't say to Jai. All he asked was that the woman be supervised once she awoke, and that they return her to the Ring of Kafrene as soon as possible. He also mentioned that she was a thief and that they should be watchful of that habit, but he said nothing to suggest that Miona keep their whereabouts a secret from her.

"Yavin's fourth moon." Jai shook her head with raised brows, obviously unfamiliar with the planet, "You're in the Outer Rim."

Jai mouthed the word 'oh' in understanding, eyes becoming a little lighter with both interest and concern - she'd never been this far from home. In fact, she could count the number of times she'd left the Ring of Kafrene on one hand. To say she felt nervous was an understatement. The realization that Jai was on some far off moon surrounded by strangers that she didn't know if she could trust suddenly hit her full force, and her heartbeat picked up an unevenly anxious pace.

Jai's eyes widened with her worry, and her fingers clenched into nervous fists. Miona quickly spoke up, trying to ease the anxiety, "Jai, you're with the Rebellion."

Miona hoped that was the right thing to say. Neither she nor Cassian knew anything about this woman, and for all she knew her statement could potentially worry her patient even more.

Jai's brows knit together curiously, and lucky for them both her unease calmed a little. So, this Andor guy was a rebel - that was certainly better than some of the other ideas Jai had been speculating.

The Rebellion wasn't something Jai had ever paid much mind to, not when she was a kid and not much now. Growing up on the Ring of Kafrene, one became used to the presence of the Empire monitoring the trading post and it's connecting routes, and Jai was raised to worry about herself before worrying about the concerns and needs of a whole. Sure, she knew to be there for her siblings should they ever need, and she knew to help others if she saw that they deserved it, but Jai never thought about the concerns of the entire galaxy. The rest of the galaxy just wasn't on the minds of those from Kafrene, who had learned life wasn't so black and white, had learned to coexist with both the Empire presence and with the rebels that crossed their paths.

Jai was certainly not for the Empire, though she wasn't necessarily sided with the Rebellion either. Being someone that grew up learning the ways of crime made her relatively impartial to the conflict - either way, whether under Empire control or Rebellion restoration, she would still be a criminal.

However, she could appreciate the sentiment of the Rebellion. To Jai, though it sounded as if their cause was rather idealistic, it was something good nonetheless. Sometimes she had caught herself wondering what her life could have been if the Ring of Kafrene wasn't Empire controlled, if the Alliance had knocked them down years ago and rebuilt the galaxy. Would Jai still be a criminal today, perhaps locked behind bars? Or would her life have taken a different route? Jai liked to think that she was supposed to become a slicer no matter who was running the galaxy, but she did believe life wouldn't have been so damn hard on her if the Empire weren't around.

So maybe she was a little more partial to the Rebel Alliance after all.

Jai let out a low sigh, realizing she had a string of questions she wanted to ask, but knew she couldn't bombard Miona with them all at once, "I assume someone's gonna drag me back to Kafrene as soon as you give them the go-ahead?"

Miona nodded, "Captain Andor asked that we get you back as soon as possible."

Jai's lower lip jutted out as she slightly nodded, having expected the answer she was given. Her eyes drifted away from the medic and looked about the room thoughtfully, feeling some kind of tug-of-war going on in her mind. She was far from home and amidst something she couldn't have prepared herself for and yet… she didn't want to leave too soon. Perhaps she could blame it on her curiosity, that irrepressible desire to pull apart and understand every new thing that was presented to her, just as she always did with computers and scramble keys and every other electronic she'd encountered through the years. Here she was with an opportunity to see a rebel base, she couldn't just leave and go back to Kafrene without anything new in her slicing arsenal.

Jai licked her dry lips while turning her keen eyes back to Miona, "Can I look around before I have to go?"

The hesitation was immediately obvious in Miona's expression, "I don't think that's wise…"

"Because you don't know me and can't trust me." Jai said knowingly; after all, if she were a part of a resistance movement, she'd hesitate to let a thief snoop around as well. She gave another sigh through her nose, staring at Miona as she thought for a couple moments, "… My name's Jai'ren Tillian, I was raised in Kafrene for the last eighteen years, and I don't know where I came from before that. I'm one of the only good slicers from the colony… And I like a good glass of Merenzane Gold when I can afford it."

Her attempted humor seemed to work - Jai could see the way the corners of Miona's eyes crinkled in amusement, but she refrained from smiling any larger than a small, cordial smirk.

Jai briefly felt naked with how closely Miona was staring into her eyes, and she could tell that this medic was well-versed in studying people to determine their credibility. Jai stared back, being the type that didn't like to waver her attention whenever she was being watched so closely.

"I thought you were a thief?" Miona finally said, tilting her head curiously. Jai wasn't surprised by the question, though she hadn't expected it to be the first thing brought up.

The corner of her mouth pulled into a lazy grin, "Slicers are just glorified thieves - I've never had the knack for pickpocketing or stealing from shops, but I can transfer credits from anyone's accounts or get into their ships without them ever knowing."

Perhaps that wasn't something to brag about. Jai could see the uncertainty in Miona's eyes, and realized quickly that her statement could lead to a train of thought that involved speculation of what she could do if she got her hands on rebel information.

"Don't assume the worst of me." Jai defended, "I'm not concerned with your information or data, it doesn't serve me any good."

Miona crossed her arms, though not in some kind of authoritative or reprimanding way - unless Jai was mistaken, it looked as if there was almost something chaff and curious to the look the medic was giving her, "So, why slicer? Aren't there other kinds of job opportunities on Kafrene that aren't all criminal?"

Jai smiled, cocking her head while mirroring Miona's posture - she liked this woman. And it looked as if Miona maybe was beginning to like her, as well, "Why the Rebellion? That's technically criminal, too, last time I checked."

Miona could see that there was nothing accusatory in Jai's statement, that Jai wasn't actually expecting her to answer or defend herself. This slicer was sharp.

Jai's eyes continued to shine with levity as she uncrossed her arms and curled her hands around the edge of her cot, leaning forward slightly, "If you want any more of this life story, you'll have to buy me a drink first."

The slight smile pulled at Miona's lips again. Though she most certainly couldn't say she trusted Jai, given that she knew the woman a whole of ten minutes, she could at the very least say she saw the good in her. In all her years of serving the Rebellion and, prior to that, treating medical patients on her home planet, Miona learned how to hone her ability to read people's energy. And Jai's energy in this moment was genuine and without ill-intent.

"Look, Jai, I can't let you go wandering around this place," She started while rising to her feet, "But if I call someone up here to escort you, I need you to promise you won't touch a thing and you won't cause any problems."

"You'd trust the promise of a stranger?" Jai quipped, and after Miona stared at her for another moment the medic turned to begin walking toward her desk.

"I like to give people the benefit of the doubt." Miona answered simply, retrieving a commlink from her desk while shooting Jai another kind look. She then opened a cabinet behind her, revealing Jai's belongings that had been taken off of her upon her arrival, "So?"

Jai continued in good humor, "I don't tend to make promises, but for you I'll be on my best behavior."

Miona nearly laughed as she pulled out Jai's things, "I guess that's the best I'll get."

Jai slowly rose, assessing each movement carefully to ensure she'd be good on her feet - aside from some cramping pain in her abdomen, she felt relatively unharmed. Though, she did realize in that moment that she was a little hungry, but she suspected they'd given her some kind of nourishment while she was out cold - if she had been asleep for nearly two days, Jai knew her body would have demanded food immediately if they had simply left her without nourishment that entire time.

Miona and Jai met each other halfway, the medic watching Jai's movements carefully. She knew the other woman would be fine, after all she received proper attention from the medical team, but Miona's doctoral instinct and worry could never be completely turned off. Many people, after even a day of rest following bacta treatment, were up on their feet again quickly; Jai was fortunate to be one of those types and not someone that awoke feeling groggy or drained from the medical treatment. In all her years, Miona still could never predict who would wake up feeling spry and who would wake up feelings worse.

In one hand, Miona carried Jai's folded coat and all the odds-and-ends that had been stuffed in her pockets, which she held out for Jai to grab, and in the other she had the slicer's old clunky boots, which she set atop the nearest cot. Jai noticed her cap and goggles were missing, but she reckoned they had been forgotten back on Captain Andor's U-Wing.

As Jai went through her belongings carefully to ensure nothing was missing (she let out a nearly pathetically pleased sigh when she saw neither Andor nor Miona had confiscated her scramble key), Miona started speaking to someone over the commlink.

Within minutes, the women were joined by a young Twi'lek male who looked rather confused to have been called down to the medical wing. He introduced himself and told Jai to simply call him 'Abe,' receiving an agreeing nod from the woman, who replied by telling him to simply call her 'Jai.' When Miona explained that she wanted Abe to escort Jai around the base, his expression was questioning and unprepared - he wasn't exactly a babysitter, after all. But, he nonetheless agreed, always happy to do Miona a favor and thankful for the reprieve from sitting at a computer for hours on end.

As Jai and Abe stepped out of the medical wing, he began to explain where it was in relation to everything else on the level - just next door was the briefing room, and down at the opposite end of the hall was access to the barracks and the mess hall. None of that was of any particular interest to Jai, though she didn't immediately say so out loud. No, if she was going to get a tour of a rebel base, she wanted to see their ships and flight deck, wanted to see what kind of technology they had in their command room. But she let Abe take his time showing her around - he had a nearly unsure quality to the way he spoke, as if he wasn't used to talking as much as he was doing. Or maybe it was just odd for him to be giving a stranger a tour of Yavin 4. Whatever the case, Jai refrained from pressing about the things she really wanted to see, at least for now.

"So, Abe, what brought you to the Rebellion?" Jai decided to attempt some conversation as they exited the turbolift after spending about twenty minutes or so on another level; her eyes widened eagerly at the sight of computers and tech stations spread out in front of her.

Abe looked hesitant to answer as Jai turned her excited eyes toward him, and for a short while they were both silent as he considered his answer.

"I was raised in it," he started carefully, his gaze trailing over toward Jai, "My parents were both rebels; they died for the cause a couple years ago. I've stuck around to finish their fight."

'That's noble.' Jai thought. She wondered if she would have done the same if she lost her guardian to a cause like this.

"What do you do here?" She asked and Abe finally started leading her through the crowd of computers, the other rebels giving them nothing more than mere glances as they passed. Abe looked down at her with curiosity in his eyes, wondering if she actually cared or if she was simply filling the silence; he couldn't tell.

Abe came to a pause at an empty workstation, lifting his arm toward it, "I'm a technician, I help manage our communications."

Jai gave a slight smile - briefly, she suspected that maybe Miona had called up Abe because he had a similar skill to Jai and hoped that would be something they could connect over.

"Must be demanding - you do encryption and data recovery?" Jai suspected those were areas he had to be skilled in if he was taking care of rebel communications - she was sure their channels were heavily protected and monitored at all hours of the day.

Abe nodded, "Some Imperial decryption as well when it's brought to me." Though he was still unsure of Jai, he liked the opportunity to talk to someone else about what he did. Abe wasn't usually the guy that got much attention, no one in Signal Intelligence did. Despite the appreciation all the departments and organizations in the Rebellion got, sometimes he felt as if his particular area of expertise was occasionally overlooked. Or maybe it was just everyone overlooking Abe specifically.

"I do decryption, too, among other things." Jai shared with another grin, "Bet I could give some of you a run for your money."

The corners of Abe's eyes wrinkled, though not necessarily in amusement, but rather in curiosity - did he not recognize the humor in Jai's delivery? Just as she began to wonder if she should elaborate and explain herself, Abe spoke inquisitively.

"You think so?"

Was that challenge in his tone that Jai heard? As she gave a rascally smile, Abe allowed some amusement to cross his expression.

"Miona said you were a slicer." His tone suggested that he was suspicious of the woman, which was a fair judgment. Jai was used to codebreakers having a bad reputation, though she'd done nothing with her line of work to counter said prejudice.

"And a damn good one." She replied confidently, seeing the way Abe's eyes narrowed with intrigue and perhaps even eagerness, and the expression made Jai realize just how young he was. If she had to guess, he was even younger than her twenty-three years, barely an adult and already an accomplished technician. For a brief moment, Jai recognized her own brother's curiosity in this young twi'lek's eyes.

"Do you think you're better with computers than some of us?" Abe sounded mildly challenging, to which Jai continued to grin.

"I don't want to assume, but…" Did Abe just smile back at her? He was too quick to straighten out his expression for Jai to say for sure, but his eyes still looked on with intrigue.

Abe looked away as a thought struck him, his stare washing over the room full of rebels in consideration of whatever just crossed his mind. Jai watched him patiently until he finally looked back down at her.

"Why exactly are you here?" His question wasn't what Jai expected.

"It's a little… complicated, but I was shot, and brought here for medical attention." Abe studied Jai's face while digesting the answer.

"But why did you want to see the base? Miona didn't mention you were a part of the Rebellion."

"I'm not."

"Then why so curious?" Jai would hand it to Abe, he was intelligent, though she should have expected no less of a rebel technician.

"I'm not trying to collect information, if that's what you're assuming." Jai defended, though there was no malice in her tone.

Abe shook his head, "I didn't assume that."

Without any further elaboration, he walked around the workstation and rested his palms atop the back of it's chair, eyes looking down at the computer before turning back up to Jai, something mildly akin to mischief flashing in his eyes.

"Show me what you can do." Though some of his seriousness lingered, Abe's expression once again showed that youthful curiosity, the youthful desire for friendly rivalry.

Jai's brows rose, "Really? You think you can handle being beat by some slicer from a shitty colony?"

Again, Jai saw Abe nearly smile, though this time it was more obvious, "It's not a competition, I just want to see what this slicer can do."

Jai hummed curiously, but nonetheless rounded the desk, Abe pulling out the chair before stepping back. As Jai took a seat, she dug her scramble key out of one of her pockets.

This scramble key was her baby. Jai had slaved over perfecting it, customizing the device with various parts and equipment that she'd acquired through the years. The key had started out as a rather standard scrambler, but as Jai learned more and more about the art of slicing and the equipment involved, she was able to build up her key to not only open door locks, but to bypass alarms, unlock computers, and decipher encrypted data. Jai would willingly give up everything else she owned (which wasn't all that much) so long as it meant her scramble key was always safely tucked into her pocket.

Abe gave an appraising look to the scramble key, not immediately recognizing what it was, though once Jai slid the screen to the side away from the handle portion of the tool, giving the device the vague silhouette of a gun, he realized it was slicer equipment.

"I'm not trying to get into any trouble here," Jai started, spinning the chair around to look up at Abe, "so gimme something that won't turn the entire Rebellion against me."

Abe paused and considered - he didn't want to give her any basic tasks to test her skills, he wanted to see her struggle. He settled on telling Jai to find a classified file. He only gave her one bit of information to use at a starting point - the file had his name somewhere in it. He hadn't told Jai his full name, nor did he give any important dates or other information to go off of. He wasn't just testing her slicer abilities, he wanted to see how she would rationalize which file was the one he was looking for.

Jai managed that task with impressive speed. So, Abe gave her another one.

And then another.

And one more. Each increasing in difficulty. By the last two tasks Abe could see how Jai was struggling, yet she nonetheless eventually managed to complete what was asked of her.

Abe was impressed - she was certainly on par with many of the other techs here, and undeniably better than some as well. So, the Ring of Kafrene didn't only produce underwhelming and laughable criminals after all.

Despite the fact that Abe hadn't given Jai another task, she started tapping on her scramble key again, and yet, Abe had begun to let his guard down, not evening thinking to question what she was doing now. During the challenges he had given her, Abe had pulled over a second chair, sitting back in it comfortably as he watched her work.

"So, who's that Endor guy? Or was it Anders?" Jai questioned, not looking up from her key.

"Captain Andor, the one that brought you here?" Jai smirked mischievously at the reply.

"Yeah, that one." She replied, though it was noncommittal, as if she were already disengaging from the topic of the captain, continuing to work on her scramble key.

Abe paused at her expression, suspicious of it. And as he opened his mouth to question her, Jai glanced over with a satisfied look, tapping one last time on her scramble key before something changing on the screen of Abe's computer caught his eye.

They both looked at the screen, Jai pulling her seat closer and leaning in to look at the computer studiously, meanwhile Abe's eyes widened with worry. She pulled up files about Cassian Andor. Abe looked between Jai and the screen, momentarily too flabbergasted to say anything.

Cassian. Jai mulled over the name for a moment before she continued reading the profile and records the Rebellion had on him. He'd been one of the fastest to rise through the ranks, the youngest captain in the Alliance's Intelligence branch. Jai's expression furrowed in shock upon reading that he became a child soldier at six-years-old, engaging in his first combat during the Clone Wars. As she recalled what years the Clone Wars happened, she realized he had to be younger than he looked when they met aboard his U-Wing - Jai easily mistook him for a man in his thirties, but as she did the math now, she realized he was only about twenty-five. It must have been the way he carried himself or the knowing, mature sharpness of his eyes that made the man seem older beyond his years - who knew what he'd done and what he'd seen in his youth to age him so. He had the mind of someone who had to learn things the hard way, the attitude of a man that knew what he wanted and knew what he believed in. And Jai wasn't too proud to admit his rap sheet was impressive.

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Since his return to Yavin 4 nearly two days ago, Cassian had been far too preoccupied to even think about the woman he brought back with him; in fact, he had quickly forgotten about her as he got caught up in other tasks and duties. Aside from himself, another intelligence captain had returned from a mission about the same time that Cassian had, and they were both a part of a meeting with the various higher-ups to go over all the new intel that had been recently acquired. Another officer had questioned Cassian regarding his unexpected cargo, but once he gave everyone a brief explanation of what happened, the subject was dropped and forgotten.

Cassian and the other captain had gone to work trying to plan the next mission based off of new intel regarding a potential Empire database complex in the Mid Rim - they wanted to assemble a team to go check it out as soon as possible. The mission was to be headed by the second captain, Cassian already having another assignment lined up for himself that he had to prioritize. The team for the Mid Rim investigation had left on the second day of Cassian being back from his trip to the Ring of Kafrene.

Cassian hadn't thought to go to the medical wing to discuss Jai with Miona, hadn't thought to check in and see if she was still hanging around or if someone had already brought her back to the Ring. He was too caught up in his work to even spare a thought for the unplanned passenger from aboard his U-Wing.

Cassian was on his way from the hangar, where he had been checking up on repairs to his ship, to the command room in search of General Draven to go over some last minute data. He stepped out of the turbolift among the various control center technicians, inattentively excusing himself from an unimportant conversation with one of the techs as he started heading for the command room. Just as they usually did, the technicians scattered about barely spared Cassian a glance, too caught up in their own work. That was one thing Cassian always appreciated about the techs - they had laser focus that couldn't be rivaled. Where pilots and spies liked to strike up conversation and allowed their attention to be diverted far more easily when they weren't away on missions, those in Signal Intelligence and the other high-tech jobs rarely became distracted while they were at their desks.

Typically, Cassian was just as focused as the technicians once he was on this floor, as being up here in Command and Control meant business, and yet today Cassian allowed his gaze to roam the room as he walked through it. Maybe it was the noise, as everyone seemed to be louder than usual, or maybe it was some instinctive feeling, as if there was something to be seen that was out of place. Whatever the case, Cassian's gait slowed a little to allow his eyes to search the room, observing the various techs for seconds longer than he normally would.

Cassian suddenly felt as if a weight had dropped in his stomach when his eyes fell on a pair a few rows away from where he walked, the two hunched over a computer screen. He was shocked he had cared enough to even recognize the woman's face, but it was a good thing he did, because Jai had no business wandering the headquarters control room.

Cassian's eyes darkened as his brow furrowed, turning to begin marching in their direction. Jai had a mischievous smile on her face, one he wanted to wipe right off; beside her, the Twi'lek tech, whose name was escaping Cassian at this moment, looked at her with caution, saying something that appeared to be ignored by Jai. Cassian couldn't believe Miona had let down her guard and allowed Jai to leave the medical wing - he'd have to discuss this with the doctor later.

As Cassian approached, Abe finally took notice of him, inhaling sharply and jumping up from his seat quickly upon spotting the irate look on the captain's face. Jai sensed the distress in Abe's reaction, finally peeling her gaze away from the computer and up to her new company, before following his line of sight. She, too, inhaled through her nose as her eyes widened, feeling her posture stiffen, but she tried as best she could to hide her anxious surprise at seeing Cassian.

"What is she doing here?" Cassian's voice was sharp as he halted on the opposite side of the desk, clenched fist pressing down on it as he leaned forward. Despite Abe being the tallest of the three, somehow Cassian seemed like the largest person in the room, "Do you know that she is a thief and she was supposed to be brought back to her colony? What the hell is she doing on your computer?"

"Captain Andor, Doctor Tif asked me to show her around," Abe quickly defended under the intensity of Cassian's stare.

"Why?" his eyes rotated over to Jai, whose jaw was clenched tightly, doing her best to mask the concern in her black eyes.

"I couldn't leave without getting a tour." Jai quipped with defensive humor, also standing. Though Cassian still had a number of inches of height on her, Jai felt better to be facing him on her feet. Cassian dipped his head to inspect the computer, causing another wave of vexation to wash through him upon seeing his own named repeated multiple times on the display. His dark eyes met Jai's again.

"Are you trying to spy on me?" He spoke lowly, to which the corner of Jai's mouth pulled up despite the hostility between them.

"I just wanted to know more about my savior." Her tone was jeering, an obvious defense against stress and confrontation.

"Or you're a spy collecting intel." Cassian countered, sharply turning his head back to Abe, "And you're just sitting here letting her go through classified files like this? What kind of a fool are you?"

As Abe opened his mouth nervously to reply, Jai took a step in front of him, resting her fists atop the desk in a stance that mirrored the captain's, "Watch your tone."

Cassian was taken aback by her audacity to confront him that way and by her willingly to defend this rebel that she barely knew. His anger grew even hotter from her counter.

"I'd watch yours if I were you." He replied slowly.

"Captain Andor," Abe's tone was nervous, but he gulped loudly and pushed through it, "she's a slicer, I just wanted to see what she could do, I didn't mean for her to pull up any information on you. It was just in fun."

A slicer. Jai had neglected to mention that when she claimed herself to be a thief. Cassian's glare locked onto Abe with appalled shock.

"You let a slicer onto one of our computers?" His voice rose an octave, and by now a couple of the other technicians had taken notice of the confrontation going on, trying to slyly eavesdrop on it.

"Captain, she's talented." Abe seemed to grow a little braver, upset by the aggression aimed his way, "She's even better than some of us."

"That means nothing." Cassian hissed, whipping his harsh eyes back over to Jai. She met the glare head on, though Cassian could see that there was still a stressed uncertainty in her eyes; if he were someone else, he very well could have been fooled by this bluff, by this show of aggression and authority. But he wasn't someone else, and he could see right through her, could see that she had to muster up so much strength just to be glaring back into his eyes.

As Abe looked between the two, his nerves spiked high, he wasn't sure what came over him - maybe he was trying to diffuse the situation, maybe he had come to like Jai, maybe he was just desperate. Whatever the case, none of them were prepared for what he said next.

"I think she could be a good asset to us." Cassian and Jai's heads turned toward him at nearly the exact same time, Cassian prepared to argue while Jai looked with surprised curiosity, "Captain, we could use another slicer on the team, they bring a different skill set than the rest of the techs."

"Absolutely not." Cassian bit back.

"That's not up to you, though, is it?" Jai questioned harshly, eyeing the man again, drawing his attention back to her. Cassian inhaled deeply through his nose as his jaw tightened, his glare unblinking.

"You don't just join the Rebellion as some kind of cop out, we don't need people that don't care about the cause." He huffed with unamused mockery, "If this cause was important to you, you would have already said so. You don't get to use it as some means of surviving another day."

"And how do you know it's not important to me?" Jai questioned, though even she was asking herself that exact question. She didn't care about the Rebellion, did she? She had been content, albeit a little bored, back on the Ring of Kafrene, barely spared more than a thought to either the Empire or the rebels. Why now did she suddenly feel the need to argue, why now did she seem to convince herself that suddenly she cared about the matters of the galaxy at large?

Jai didn't like being challenged. Despite the fact that confrontations such as this one made her anxious, and she did her best to avoid them, a stubborn part of her couldn't help but try to stand her ground. Whether or not Cassian was right in his judgment of her didn't matter - what mattered was that he doubted her worth. And in this moment she wasn't going to simply back down and tolerate it.

"I do what I have to to survive, that's what you learn living on Kafrene. Just because I'm a slicer doesn't mean I lack morality. If anything, I value it more than the average person because of how I grew up. Don't think yourself better than me, Cassian Andor."

Cassian couldn't help but pause despite his instinct to keep arguing with her. He wouldn't say she made any valid point, nor would he admit she was right in any way, yet he nonetheless had a brief, brief moment of consideration toward her argument.

A part of Cassian knew he was being unreasonable. Perhaps it was his exhaustion or his pride or his stubbornness. The Rebellion had accepted people from all walks of life so long as they were willing to fight for the cause; Cassian had no reason to think Jai was any different from so many of the others among him.

It must have been personal, given that he had found her aboard his ship and attempting to steal; finding her here in the control room rifling through information on him didn't help her case either. Cassian was latched onto his upset from their first meeting, and that frustration combined with his current state of stress, giving way to an unnecessary level of anger in him.

Abe suggested that the discussion be brought before the council, before the Chancellor and the other heads of the Alliance. And Cassian knew Abe was right, knew that it was pointless to argue with this woman in the middle of the control center, knew that he just needed to step back and relax. He had far more important things to worry about than this woman.

As the trio came down from the high of their dispute, Cassian vowed that he wouldn't let himself trust the thieving slicer.

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Disdain [dis-deyn, dih-steyn]

verb

to look upon or treat with contempt; despise; scorn

to think unworthy of notice, response, etc.; consider beneath oneself

noun

a feeling of contempt for anything regarded as unworthy; haughty contempt; scorn

#cassian andor #cassian andor x original character #cassian andor x oc #cassian andor x reader #diego luna #rogue one #star wars #star wars fic #rogue one fic #rogue one fanfiction #pls let the tags work this time tumblr or i stg #ca #fics #fics*#saudade

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