#all and any thoughts are welcomed <3

[dearestxiao]

real talk before I answer some asks... WOULD you guys want me to continue the color blue if I were able to? is that something you guys are interested at all in or want? and if so would you guys be okay with a 'the color blue: rewritten?' any thoughts? let me know!!!

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[daboyau]

I was watching lilo and stitch and that “you can never belong” scene came on and I got this idea in my head for that, but with ROTTMNT. So since I don’t do edits or draw, I wrote it out instead. Don’t think too hard about the logistics. :)

It is cold, when Leo slips out of the lair. He can feel Mikey’s gaze on him as he leaves, raising goosebumps over his flesh. He can’t bear to turn back, knowing that his resolve would crumble immediately if he did. His footsteps are too loud in the loneliness of the sewers. His heartbeat pounds in his head. He keeps expecting to hear a voice calling out for him, or the soft sound of footsteps following him. 

But of course it never comes. Mikey had been so hurt. So sad. Of course he wouldn’t follow him. 

When Leo finds a portal into the Hidden City, he doesn’t hesitate to throw himself through it despite the danger it puts him in to be there. The sounds and the sights are familiar to him, yet nowhere calls to him as loudly as the lair had. It’s only been two weeks since he was first brought into their home. They hadn’t even wanted him there, and yet the urge to go crawling back is so strong. He had messed everything up from the moment he’d manipulated his way into their lives. Of course they wouldn’t want him. 

(Why don’t they want him?)

Leo wanders the back alleys and the side streets, letting his feet guide him to nowhere in particular. The picture he had swiped on his way out of the lair is stored safely in the pouch tied around his waist, and between steps he’ll reach in to slide his fingertips over the stiff paper. Just to make sure it’s still there. It soothes him.

He doesn’t stop walking until he’s far outside the city, tucked away in the scraggly rock forests that surround the Hidden City. The aching in his chest has turned into more of a twisting knife, the small knot of sadness becoming more like a gaping chasm. An open wound. A bottomless pit of longing and loneliness that he had never felt before he forced his way into the lives of the Hamatos. 

He hadn’t had anything to lose, before. He hadn’t known the kind of pain that loving something would bring. He wishes he could go back to not knowing. He wishes he could return to a life of never having to make the choice to walk away, to spare them all the pain his existence brings them. 

Leo settles on the ground, curling into himself, shoulders trembling under the weight of everything. When he closes his eyes, the image of Mikey’s face as Leo made his choice haunts him. Donnie’s quiet voice rings in his ears in the silence of the forest, you ruined everything, again and again. Raph’s soft squeeze on his shoulder lingers like a phantom. Leo trembles, tucking his knees to his chest. Then, he pulls the photo out. 

Raph, Donnie, and Mikey grin up at him. It’s almost mocking, how happy they look here. A reminder that they are better without him around. He hadn’t seen them smile like that since the first five minutes they’d found him, back before they learned the truth of how much of their lives he can ruin. 

He runs a careful finger over those smiles, then he squeezes his eyes shut and holds the photo against his chest. His throat burns, and the ache in his chest feels like a black hole that will swallow his body whole. He does his best to breathe through the pain and when he opens his eyes again, the light speckled ceiling overhead is blurry and indistinct. It reminds him of the stars they had taken him to see, wind tickling his skin as they sat on the rooftop of the tallest building of their strange human city and stared upwards at something beautiful.

“Lost,” he whispers to the open air, and he can almost imagine that single word floating upwards, towards the city and the sewers. Finding its way into the only place he’s ever found that might have one day held happiness. But only for him. Not for them. There was only danger if he stayed.

“I’m lost,” he repeats, words like some trouble confession, and hot tears roll down his cheeks.

Some small, selfish part of him hopes they’ll hear. He wants them to come for him, and to bring him back home. It is a stupid, foolish wish. It’s better for everyone that he stays gone. He can’t hurt them this way. 

He falls asleep with tears drying on his cheeks, and body curled tight around the only evidence he holds of a dream he knows can never be. 

When he wakes hours later, it’s to the sound of heavy footsteps over gravel. He jolts upright, heart pounding, eyes wide, and for one foolish, terrible moment he really believes that his family has come for him. 

But no. Of course not. When Draxum emerges with a weapon pointed at his head, Leo can’t find it within himself to feel surprised. He stares back blankly, shifting slowly to stand, halfway wishing that Draxum would just take the shot and get it over with. He doesn’t think he has the energy to raise a hand to defend himself. 

The gravel has left his legs peppered with indents and marks from where they’d pressed into his flesh as he slept. They sound like something breaking as they shift and crunch beneath his feet. Draxum’s eyes dart between those markings and Leo’s tear streaked face, before his expression twists into something complicated. Almost pitying. 

“Don’t run,” he says, voice low. If Leo hadn’t heard what true kindness sounds like these last couple weeks, he would have said that’s what he hears in Draxum’s tone. “Don’t make me hurt you. You were difficult to make. No need to ruin a perfectly acceptable specimen.”

Leo shuffles, eyes darting between Draxum and the stacked stones surrounding them. He makes a sound low in his throat, hurt and uncertain, but he does not bolt. Draxum smiles, already assured of his victory, and steps closer. Leo watches with wide eyes. 

“Yes. Yes, that’s it,” Draxum murmurs, careful and soft, like he’s trying to soothe a scared animal. “Come quietly.”

“I…I’m waiting,” Leo admits, and he watches Draxum’s brow crease. His head tips, curious. He’s not used to this side of his creation — quiet, yet resisting his orders. Leo shuffles a half step back, heart pounding so hard in his chest that he feels a little dizzy. 

“For what?”

“For…for my family.”

“Aahhh. There is no use in doing so. You don’t have one. I made you.” 

Leo shakes his head, hands trembling, photo creased from how tightly he is clutching it in his fist. The thought of ruining the only evidence he has hurts, but the fear of Draxum getting his hands on it, of him finding out about the others, it terrifies him in a way he’s never felt before. He can’t let Draxum know about them. 

“Maybe…maybe I could—“

“I don’t know what yokai fool you found, or what nonsense they’ve been filling your mind with, but banish the thought of family from your mind.” His voice has lost that careful, gentle farce. It is harsh and cutting now. A familiar sound that Leo had hoped he’d left behind forever when he ran away. “You are built to destroy. You can never belong. Now, come quietly and we can begin your reeducation once—no! No no, don’t run, don’t—!”

His voice fades as Leo darts through the towering stones, vines curling at his heels and snapping at his shell as Draxum tries to recapture him. The picture flutters from his fingertips as he trips, lost amongst the shadows of the stone forest. Leo sobs, but he does not turn back for it. It is better if it is lost; at least then, he may be able to move on. 

[dazzelmethat]

Long time no Bud. Wow the last time I made her a ref was 2018. I experimented some with her pallet. Unsure if I like the profile head but oh well, open mouthed anime inspired profile faces are notoriously hard for a reason.

Sigh. What am I going to do with her.. my writing conundrum workshopping in tags. My tag rant mentions plot related suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope).

[everybodyshusband]

building myself a cocoon of regressed ghoul thoughts because i don't want to go to worrrkkkkk

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

odnlb writing process/workshop

this is mainly for my own reference. however, if this post ends up helping you with yours, then even better! 😊

most of you know, i wrote this fic as a practice for using save the cat (aka snyder) structure, and so now that it's complete i have the outline to come back to in a way that i understand and can use in future wips! did i deviate from this structure? yes. a lot. did i still follow all the beats though? i think so! check out how i formatted my outline!

my starting point: marinette 🐞

want: revenge against monarque

need: replace hate with love

this gave me a very clear picture of the emotional journey she would undergo. once i figured out her emotional need and decided what she would do to fulfill that need, i was able to pretty much plot out the entire fic. we needed a hero (in her case, an anti-hero) we could follow through an entire 45 chapter fic, and odnlb marinette gave us a reason to care about her and root for her right off the bat!

here's what save the cat's 15-beat structure looks like at a glance:

(isn't it just beautiful? 😍)

for odnlb, i combined this structure with the 3-act, 9-block, 27-chapter method:

lol so i did not exactly stick to this, as was my plan (my huge cast of characters wanted more from me.) however, i did stick with the proper beats...it just ended up expanding into 5 acts.

this is how my outline ended up looking (orange = save the cat, purple = 3 act 9 block 27 chapters):

act 1 - ladybug meets the villains

block 1

opening image - marinette leaves a rose at chat noir's statue. her eyes are dead (like him)

introductions/setup - 6 years later, marinette works for chloe. adrien still models for gabriel & is estranged from her and his old friends

theme stated - alya says, "you're getting better." (marinette has not been focused on hatred, but her personal growth)

catalyst/ inciting incident - bunnyx steals the rabbit miraculous & draws out the villain team

debate/ immediate reaction / fallout - villain team decides to abandon plan to use rabbit miraculous & get ladybug's miraculous instead. marinette decides to get cat walker's miraculous & kill monarque with it.

block 2

actions - ladybug interrogates adrien agreste bc he is close to lila, chloe, and felix (primary suspects). he doesn't give her any information, but reassures her he is on her side.

consequences - volpina attacks ladybug, villain team overpower her

block 3

pressure - ladybug is outnumbered, cannot stand against all the holders & their power-ups. villain side: ladybug is onto them. ladybug needs an ally & turns to kagami (also close to felix), but kagami turns ladybug down (but why?).

pinch/plot twist - cat walker contacts ladybug: tells her monarque is going to resume akuma attacks unless lb gives her miraculous

break into act 2 - monarque attempts to akumatize ladybug, but cat walker saves her. realizes villains' motivations are split.

act 2 - rise of monarque

block 4

new world - luka and zoe come to town. adrien is in trouble but felix stands by him. su han abandons marinette; he cannot teach her bc she has too much hatred.

fun and games/ b story/ies - felix and adrien switch so adrien can meet his friends for drinks. chloe sneaks snake miraculous back to luka. felix and lila threaten each other. felix likes kagami.

bad guys close in - monarque akumatizes nino to punish adrien. marinette finds out cat walker is a sentimonster

juxtaposition/ old vs new - luka/aspik shows up & joins marinette's side (she's not alone anymore). adrien realizes he has to be alone bc of what happened to nino. kagami confronts felix and gets the dragon miraculous (war begins)

act 3 - adrien identity reveal

block 5

build-up - luka and marinette plot to find the sentimonster. luka confronts adrien indirectly, suspects monarque is gabriel. marinette sleuths on felix (suspected peacock holder) only to discover adrien is a sentimonster/cat walker. kagami finds ladybug & offers to spy on felix & the villain team for her. monarque akumatizes zoe to punish chloe. ryuko gets her felix's amok in the fight, but gets it back when ladybug uses it against him. to stop ladybug harming argos & ryuko, luka reveals chat noir is still alive.

midpoint - montparnasse scene: ladybug confronts cat walker, he admits the truth. stand off with monarque until aspik & mellona rescue ladybug.

reversal - marinette is no longer hate driven, but driven by love to save adrien

act 4 - angrybug reversal

block 6

reaction - due to big emotional distress, ladybug goes into the avatar state (foreshadowing 👀). luka and chloe calm her down. feligami get together. adrien pleads to his father not to harm ladybug.

action/trials (raise the stakes) - the more adrien breaks his amok, the more he breaks his miraculous. marinette is set up to "spy" on adrien for the villain team. villain team plot to corner ladybug at dj wifi wedding.

dedication - adrinette kiss scene. adrien promsies himself he will harm himself before he lets harm come to ladybug. marinette promises no more harm will come to him.

block 7

calm before the storm - lila flashback: she killed nathalie and has been akumatized/transformed for 6 years. balcony scene: marinette tries to keep adrien close to no avail.

pinch/plot twist - volpina and monarque attack chloe, luka, and zoe. vesperia and carapace get their miraculous back. ladybug tries to heal cat walker & free him with her power, but his miraculous is too broken. she can only save him by getting his amok.

everything goes wrong/ dark night of the soul/ all is lost - lila & felix flashback: lila is monarque reveal. ladybug confronts gabriel agreste & tries to kill him, but can't (bc she is no longer full of hate). realizes monarque is lila. monarque takes felix, but kagami takes the other miraculous back to ladybug.

act 5 - fall of monarque

block 8 - finale

power within - team assemble. chloe uses mouse miraculous to activate other holders. lila finds marinette's identity.

action - monarque attacks. luka sacrifices himself to get the upper hand. alya gets the fox miraculous off lila, all her illusions drop. lila akumatizes timetagger, bunnyx shows up to get him. team fights argos and his sentimonster, red moon, to the death. chloe incapacitates argos.

converge - monarque takes the senti-twins and runs. remainder of the team follow her to agreste mansion.

block 9

final confrontation/final battle - monarque tries to make felix fix her miraculous. ladybug and team show up. monarque morphs into monster and attacks. gabriel sacrifices himself to save lb, but monarque still gets the upper hand. chat noir cataclysms monarque with a broken miraculous.

climax - the broken cataclysm destroys the world, but carapace's shield protects remainder of team. with adrien gone, felix is free and emilie is awake. ladybug goes toe-to-toe with broken miraculous final form chat noir, but her power is too weak compared to his untethered destruction. then felix gives her the peacock miraculous and she uses it to create a new bond for adrien, tethering him to life with her love.

resolution/denouement - all of paris knows chat noir is alive! big parade for heroes. ladybug and chat noir do a william and kate kiss. alya shoos off su han. felix gives gabriel to chloe and decides to work for tsurugi tech so he can stay with kagami. zoe and luka decide to go back home for a bit then come to stay too. emilie wants to be close to felix and adrien, but she is def not the priority for them atm. marinette takes the butterfly miraculous back from emilie. adrinette go off on a honeymoon vacation. adrien practices his proposal on a beach.

final image - adrien and marinette playing in the water on a beach on la reunion. “camera” pans away from their silhouettes running around on the sand, back to their stuff on the beach. shows a ring box in adrien’s bag with plagg & tikki chilling.

if this helped you out, i'm so glad! it definitely helped me see how to organize a story. i think if i ever do a fic like odnlb again, i will definitely do this for it.

[necrotic-nightshade]

I can't tell if it makes me feel better or worse that I wasn't the only person who was failed and fucked over by the administration of my old school.

I'm glad I dropped out. And I'm glad I can finally say I was right about those cunts.

[omegapheromone]

I am so sleepy. I am building my nest on your dashboard. Right here. Inviting my mutuals in to be eepy together and cuddle if comfortable. It's soft and comfy here AND I got a fan on so it shouldn't get too stuffy

[strangefable]

i suspect i come off as cringe, try-hard, over-the-top, or even fake, but i assure you i am absolutely this effusive and excitable and it's entirely genuine. i've accepted that i'm just a weird old lady who overthinks and rambles too much, oversharing my thoughts, and heaping praises on people. some might think it's excessive, but it's just who i am, and i always mean it with a good, pure, and honest heart

[collectivecloseness]

Btw giving a big smooch on the forehead to any of y’all who have sent in thoughts on this whole Yandere fruity four scenario where Nancy/all of them have kidnapped the reader that I’ve been posting about recently, you are all so big brained and muscly and kissable

[waitineedaname]

ritsu has the flavor of nd where he went undiagnosed for years bc his sibling's autism was much more obvious to people so he slipped through the cracks

[protocolseben]

[villruu]

Me, staring at insta and various groups: wow, yall are freaks [derogatory]

[not-mary-sue]

Alright, to ao3's soon to be arriving Wattpad Refugees, a basic guide to general user culture:

1.) Unlike Wattpads vote system that let's you like each chapter, the ao3 equivalent kudos only allows one per work. Everyone is generally quietly annoyed about this. To engage with each chapter, you're heavily encouraged to comment. Trust me, it makes people's day.

2.) Ao3 has no algorithm. By default it's latest updated work first. You can find things to your taste through searches, filters and tags.

3.) 'No archive warnings apply' and 'user has chosen not to use archive warnings' mean two very different things. No archives warnings means the work is free from any content that could require a warning tag (character death, graphic depictions of violence, non-con, etc). User has chosen not to use archive warnings means it could contain any of the warning content, be it hasn't been explicitly tagged. Treat it like an allergen. No archive warnings apply is allergen free. User has chosen not to use archive warnings, may contain traces or whole chunks of the allergen. If you're likely to have a bad reaction, maybe don't take the risk.

4.) Speaking of warnings, ao3 has very few restrictions on the type of work that's allowed. Whatever your personal thoughts or feelings on that are, thats how the site is. You're likely to run across some dark subject matters and a lot of people are uncomfortable with reading that. You're well within your rights not like these works and have your opinion on whether they should be allowed, but harassing the authors of such works (or any works) is more likely to come back on you than them. Ao3 operates on a strong policy of 'don't like, don't read'. Use the tagging system to your full advantage to only engage with the kind of works you want to see.

We look forward to welcoming you all and seeing the fantastic works you create. Happy writing!

[snuggles-and-struggles]

Never finished writing up all of their synopses as posts here but! I did make this google doc

79 AUs. 7000+ words. All spicyhoney brain rot

[spideyhexx]

what’s on your minds tonight🫶