#all elementary schools

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

[k12academics]

Comic Ventriloquist Joe Gandelman uses a BIG cast of characters in a show with lots of interaction, laughs and content. Schools can choose from existing message themes or ask Joe to customize it with a school's theme at no extra expense. The show is highly interactive. Among the characters kids (and staff) love the most are a baby elephant who squirts water into the front rows (a big squirt gun...this is tied into an anti-drug, anti smoking, anti bullying theme), a small blue dragon who has (fake) smoke come out of his nose, a student (or staffer) putting on a funny looking ventriloquism mask which turns the person into a human dummy (Joe does the voices). At the end of each show he does a quick segment on ventriloquism, showing student how a puppet works, giving them a few secrets and getting one or more students up to try out a dummy.

[dazais-crab-addiction]

Tonight I learned that my 20 yr old partner has never played chess and doesn't know how to play chess. This is mind boggling to me. They claim its not weird for people to not know anything about chess so I. I need to see. Please.

Okay so, I made a mistake in not elaborating the meaning of the options. You do not have to be good or know what you are doing in the slightest to pick that you have played before. The middle three options are for your understanding of the game having never played it at all. The reason there's a percentage on the last option is because my partner made a tumblr so they could pick it because they think they are hilarious.

[noodles-and-tea]

Merlin is dying of laughter off-screen, obviously

[livwritesstuff]

Honestly, Eddie doesn’t know why it had taken so long for him to realize his and Steve’s children could understand the shit that came out of his mouth.

(It took an embarrassingly long amount of time).

Even when Moe’s third or fourth word was fuck, he didn’t realize it (and she was using it mostly correctly too, which should have been a serious flag, but nope).

What made him realize it was when they started repeating the shit that came out of his mouth. 

To strangers.

In public.

The first time Eddie had been really caught off guard by something one of his daughters said was when Moe, who was three at the time, had proudly announced to an unsuspecting grocery store cashier, “Daddy says my Papa’s a DILF!”

And, like, Eddie had just heard the term for the first time, and obviously he was goddamn delighted by it because…duh. Steve. 

It just hadn’t occurred to him that his toddler might have caught it too, but little pitchers have big ears, or so the proverb suggests, and Eddie had taken it as a wake-up call that Moe isn’t a baby anymore (tragic as it may be).

He’s not the only problem though – Steve is just as bad, (if not worse, because he really doesn’t bother to check where their kids are before he starts running his mouth).

One particularly damning incident was at a restaurant, which is something they don’t even do all that often because, seriously, going to a restaurant with very young kids should be an Olympic event or something.

(The last time they all went out to eat, Nancy and Robin had made a drinking game out of all the times Steve and Eddie had to take a child to the bathroom and ended up so far gone that Eddie had needed to drive them home).

The incident started with the waitress asking, “Can I get you started with anything to drink?”

And it had ended with four-year-old Moe confidently announcing, “My Papa needs a fucking margarita.”

Thank god, the waitress had been a twenty-something college student and thought it was hilarious, but Steve had still been completely mortified.

[mickgaydolenz]

what’s something you are genuinely bad at? like something that no matter how much you’ve tried to improve on it you’ve never been able to get past a certain point? for me it’s learning new languages

[moxie-girl]

mutuals i am leaving a dollar-store valentine with a silly animal pun and a piece of heart-shaped candy taped to it in the box on ur desk btw <3

[rexscanonwife]

Uhm uh uh...I have no excuse for this 😔 PPG self insert who is secretly an alien! I imagine her intro episode would have her having a little romance with the professor when he comes into a bookstore she works at/owns and the girls being (rightfully, given the prof's dating history) suspicious of her. Wacky capers ensue where they try to prove that she's up to no good, only to find that she genuinely is just chilling and wants to live a normal life on earth!

Well, normal as she can, now that she knows this family! I think she'd fit right in 😉

Taglist♡: @crushes-georg @changeling-selfship @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus @squips-ship @cherry-bomb-ships @miutonium

[black-rose-writings]

My mom, after spending an extended weekend with my dad's old college classmates and their families: It's so weird that all of these very weird, intelligent and structured men who got their masters in engineering in the late 1980s have sons that are all autistic and daughters who all have mood disorders.

Me: Yeah, very weird. Why could that be?

[dreamsy990]

when i was a kid i fell in love with dandelions. when i told my parents, they said they were just weeds, not flowers at all. i was always upset on the dandelions behalf- why didnt people love them too? why were they a problem when they were just as pretty?

[martyryo]

long hair marla long hair marla long hair marla lo

[k12academics]

Joe Gandelman & Friends have been doing assemblies since 1990. This included two 8 month tours doing a route of school shows all over the country (and in Canada) for the Bureau of Lectures and Concert Artists. On the first tour, 49,000 miles were drive. This included doing shows for public schools, private schools and schools for various religions -- host notably for Sathya Sai School of Toronto, a Sai Baba school

[shigayokagayama]

i just know ritsu killed it in his typing class like beating out the rest of his class by a good 20+ wpm meanwhile mob just uses his index finger and no matter how many times ritsu tells him it's faster if he just memorizes where the keys are and keeps his index fingers at f and j he refuses to believe him

[downsid3up]

Me when girl with supernatural powers who’s trying her best and her sibling who falls for boys that are not always good for them 🥰🥰

where she always looked out for them

and when she was in trouble her sibling made a journey w the slow burn love of their life to save her

And even tho they didn’t get close til they were older their bond is unbreakable ☺️

[unproduciblesmackdown]

always enjoyed the Chess Set In The Foreground perspective framing used here

now also noting like, huh, a chess set in a general store just visited by marigold competitors who killed one of their guys and are now on the way back from their rendezvous point w/suppliers

[foccaccia]

Day 18, Judgement, for Wyllstravaganza2024! Please open image for better quality, etc etc.