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ajentmm · 1 year

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Peony and More Refine Theorycrafting

Hey, hey, hey. It’s theorycrafting time. Here we have the weirdly named Book IV Begins: Peony and more banner, staring Peony, the new original fairy character and F2p princess of Aether Raid. Oh, and there's these other guys. Where are they from? Is it Mystery of Emblem? Genealogy? . . . No wait, Tear Ring Saga? Oh yeah, Thracia 769, that’s it. Well, as usual, we’ll start with the instant demote.

Tanya: Dagdar's Kid

Base lvl 40 5 ☆ 41/30/37/25/28 Max Invest 49/38/45/32/33

Shining Bow+: Effective against flying foes. If foe's Def ≥ foe's Res+5, deals +7 damage.

Ardent Sacrifice – Pass 3 – Spur Spd/Res 2

Well, here’s Tanya, the archer girl that people who played Thracia 776 like because . . . She has a bandana? She’s comes with the Shining Bow, a bow locked to the 5 star Nina before the 3-4 star Niles got it as a perf, combined with AC. I was not a good bow, and now it’s dumped on her. I had a cooler way to make a magic bow work, but after asking a Thracia enjoyer, I found that there’s no magic bow, and the brave bow is the best bow in the game. You know, a 3-4 perf brave bow hasn’t been done since Gordon. Let’s do that.

Dagdar's Bow: Mt. 9 Grant Spd+4 Inflicts Def/Res-5. If unit initiates combat, unit attacks twice.

Oh hey, that’s the ninja yumi, my bad. That’s fine. Hey defenses were too low anyway and her speed is just close enough to match with the higher tiers.

“If unit is within 2 spaces of an ally, grant Atk/Spd+4 to unit and allies within 2 spaces, and inflict Spd/Def-4 to foes within 2 spaces of unit during combat.”

And then I asked the Thracia enjoyer, “Is there anything else about Tanya I can use,” and they said, “She as support with Osian and Dagdar.” In that game, support is just 10% to Hit, Crit, Avoid, and Dodge, if within 3 tile radius. So, just Joint Drive Atk/Spd, and since she only supports axe bros, she also has Spd/Def Rein. Given how great brave weapons are, and the nature for 3-4 stars, the effect needs to be underwhelming. It's at least better than Flying! Nino and Gordin. Sorry Tanya fans, just inherit the Sky-Blue Bow or wait for the Arcane Bow.

Osian: Scolded Soldier

Base lvl 40 5 ☆ 42/35/36/33/27 Max Invest 50/43/44/40/32

Vouge: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). At start of combat, if unit's HP ≥ 50%, unit can counterattack regardless of foe's range.

Noontime – Mirror Stance 3 – Warth 3 – Even Atk Wave 3

It’s Osian with the Pugie Vouge, a stupidly good hand axe with 30 Crit. In heroes it’s-uh bad, but this is an easy fix.

Vouge: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). Unit can counterattack regardless of foe's range.

Does this make him better than Dorcus? Yes and no. Dorcus at max investment has 55 HP, 45 Atk/Def (neutral nature), making him a better Quick Repost Def tank with a weakness to magic. Osian has Spd so he doesn’t need Quick Repost and . . . never mind he’s better.

“At start of combat, if unit’s HP ≥ 20%, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 and Special cooldown charge +1 to unit per attack (only highest value applied; does not stack), and also, if unit’s HP ≥ 40%, reduces damage from foe's first attack during combat by 40%.”

And to make him even more crit happy, more stats special charge and damage reduction. All of this is under an HP requirement just like the OG weapon. What’s that? I copied from Shez, don’t be ridiculous.

Eyvel: Mistress of Fiana

Base lvl 40 5 ☆ 41/33/35/38/25 Max Invest 49/40/43/46/30

Guard Sword+: Inflicts Special cooldown charge -1 on foe per attack during combat. (Only highest value applied. Does not stack.)

Ignis – Atk/Def Form 3 – Chill Atk 3

Eyvel is the promoted unit that assists Leif in the early game. Not unlike a Jegan, Eyvel baits out units for other units to attack and get exp for. Now, being an infantry tank requires more than just having high Def and [Guard]. And seeing as she’s the descendant of Ullr

Freeblades Sword: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). If foe initiates combat or foe's HP > 75%, inflicts Atk/Spd/Def-6 on foe during combat and Special cooldown charge -1 on foe per attack during combat. (Only highest value applied. Does not stack.)

So this fancy sword has the enemy phase standard to inflict huge penalties to foe and guard. The AC is also there.

“If unit’s HP> 25%, inflict Atk/Spd/Def-6 on foe and neutralize bonuses on foe’s Atk/Spd/Def during combat, neutralizes effects that grant "Special Cooldown Charge + X" to foe and inflicts "Special cooldown charge - X" on unit.”

And then we stack more penilties on the foe with Lull Atk/Spd/Def too, but more importantly, Tempo, both Null-Guard and Null-Breath/Blade. This makes her akin to Blyth, where you don’t need Lull or Tempo, and you can inherit a Teir 4 Chill or Seal, or Bulwark for that guardian feel, or a Dodge skill for Spd protective bulk.

Mareeta: Sword of Stars

Base lvl 40 5 ☆ 41/35/42/31/23 Max Invest 49/43/50/38/28

Mareeta's Sword: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). If unit is not adjacent to an ally, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+4 and neutralizes effects that guarantee foe's follow-up attacks and effects that prevent unit's follow-up attacks during combat.

Luna – Atk/Spd Solo 3 – Close Call 3 – Rouse Atk/Def 3

And now we have Mareeta, the sword girl of Thracia, princess of Ribaut, daughter of Galzus, descendant of Od and great-niece of Ayra, apparently. In Heroes, she was introduced with her “Fallen” alt, where she when berserk under the influence of the Shadow Sword. That alt got a refine and it reads as follows:

Shadow Sword: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). At start of combat, if unit’s HP ≥ 25%, grants Atk/Spd+5 to unit during combat, and also, if unit initiates combat, unit can make a follow-up attack before foe can counterattack. At start of combat, if foe’s HP ≥ 75%, grants Atk/Spd+5 to unit and neutralizes effects that inflict “Special cooldown charge -X” on unit during combat, and also, if foe’s Spd > foe’s Def at start of combat, inflicts Spd-8 on foe during combat; otherwise, inflicts Def-8 on foe during combat.

This is a great weapon that allows for desperation, special nuking, and nothing in terms of staying alive during enemy phase. A fair trade off. Her stats are also too far off from her normal verison.

And then we got Ascended Mareeta, owner of the convinent and in heritable Vital Astra. This skill didn’t just give Spd based true damage, but adding (another possible) [Dodge] to your unit, if the skill is pre-charaged. And her Ascended blade helps with that.

Ascending Blade: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). At the start of turn 1, grants Special cooldown count-1. At start of combat, if unit’s HP ≥ 25%, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 during combat, neutralizes effects that guarantee foe’s follow-up attacks and effects that prevent unit’s follow-up attacks, and after combat, grants Special cooldown count-1.

So this skill is just like Mareeta’s Sword, just with Quicken Pulse, a different condition, and a haft Special Spiral. It’s an all in one weapon for always having Vital Astra ready. To emulate this, Normal! Mareeta can inherit Vital Astra and Time Pulse 4. Oh, she also needs to be solo, let’s fix that now.

Mareeta's Sword: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). If unit initiates combat or is not adjacent to an ally, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+4 and neutralizes effects that guarantee foe's follow-up attacks and effects that prevent unit's follow-up attacks during combat.

Hold up. D-did I just copied Sirius’s refined base effect? If I had a nickel . . .

“If unit's HP > 25%, grant Atk/Spd+6, inflict Special cooldown charge -1 on foe per attack during combat, and also, if unit initiates combat and unit’s Spd > foe’s Spd+10, unit attacks twice.”

Apparently, Mareeta’s Sword is an actual sword in Thracia and it has a brave effect. So instead of Null-Follow-Up and guarantee desperation, I just gave a conditional brave effect. It is a really high speed check, but her wrapon gives 10 Spd already, and if you need more, Close Call 4 inflicts Spd-4 and has a Phantom Spd check of 7. That gives 11 Spd to help get the new max of 50% damage reduction and to ensure the brave effect. Also the Guard effect is there because her sword in Thraica came with Nihil. This is really helpful for brave weapons because their hits can trigger foe’s specials very easily for counterattacks.

And with that, we have reached the end of the Peony and more banner. There is no other units I could . . . Possibly . . . Make a theorycraft refine for . . . No one else . . .

OKAY FINE! I’ll do Peony too! I know I have a rule against refining dancers since they never get refined, but Peony’s status as a mythic override that rule. I’m doing it, don’t need the Remix skill cuz that’s unpredictable.

Peony: Sweet Dreams

Base lvl 40 5 ☆ 38/31/36/16/24 Max Invest 41/34/39/19/27

Flower of Joy: Grants Res+3. Grants Atk/Spd+3 to any ally in a cardinal direction from unit during that ally's combat.

Gentle Dream: Grants another action to target ally. Grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+3 and the following status to target ally and allies in cardinal directions of unit and target (excluding unit): "Unit can move to a space adjacent to any ally within 2 spaces." (That turn only. Cannot target an ally with Sing or Dance. This skill treated as Sing or Dance.)

B Duel Flying 3 – Aerobatics 3 – Fortify Res 4

Peony is an amazing support with a special refreshing assist and blue tome that supports allies from far away. She’s the F2P version of Legendary Azura. She even has the same outdated Duel skill. Anyway, here's the refine.

Flower of Joy: Grants Res+3. Grants Atk/Spd+4 to any ally in a cardinal direction from unit during that ally's combat. If unit is within a cardinal direction of an ally orunit’s HP >50%, grants Atk/Spd+6 to unit during combat.

Bam! 1 more Atk and Spd, and some more Atk/Spd for Peony herself. The condition is a bit weird, I could have just given 25% for those mesly points, but this felt more fun, and she’s a dancer, she isn’t supposed to be in combat anyway. If you do want her to be in combat, or at least not get demolished, let’s get to the juicy bits.

“If unit initiates combat or is within 2 tile radius of an ally, grants Atk/Spd+6 to unit during combat, and grant bonuses to unit's Atk/Spd/Def/Res equal to penalties active on unit plus highest bonuses on either unit or allies within 2 spaces. (Example: if unit has -7 penalty to Atk, and an ally has +6 bonus to Atk, grants Atk+13, for a net bonus of Atk+6.) Calculate stats individually."

Yep, her refine effect is there to just give her stats. L!Azura has Triangle Adapt, allowing her to be surprisingly bulky and damaging in certain matchups. Peony then is going to be an all around unit with good stats. She gets bonuses equal to her penalties, which isn’t the exact same as unity because that gives 2x the penalties, making a net positive. It closer to neutralizing penalties, but it’s not specifically that, meaning the [Penelties] are still active if the foe has a conditional related to it (like [Foe Penalty Doubler]) but also the Unity skill or [Grand Strategy] will still work and give 3x the penalties active. It then has ether bonus doubler or ally bonus copier, an effective that OG! Erika has, that gives her the buff of the allies that she buffs. Remember, she come with Fortify Res 4, which give 7 Res. Also, her refresh give 3 to all stats to multiple allies, so she gets 3 for all stats when near those allies. If Sweet Dreams II give more stats, then that’s more for Peony.

So out if the box, Peony can get 15 Atk/Spd, 3 Def, and 7 Res during combat. That makes her stats 60 Atk, 51 Spd, 19 Def, 34 Res. There is a clear focus on Atk/Spd, and that Res isn’t the highest, but not being effected by penalties is a plus. Again, this only effects her combat potential. If you’re using her to just sing and not nuke, you can get the Res refine. I can’t wait till they make her super busted like Yune, or something like that.

Alright, that’s it. Like, Comment, Subscribe, Hit the bell, share with your friends, do your dailies, etc. Etc. See you later.

#fire emblem heroes #theorycrafting #game design #refine #fire emblem #banner refines

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seerofmike · 4 years

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Incompatible

pairing: bubblysparks / wattson x rampart

word count: 2,371

rating: t

tags: beach day, a continuation of yesterday’s soulmate au prompt, background/implied relationships

summary: Everyone else is enjoying themselves at the beach except for Natalie, who is still reeling from finding out who her soulmate is

i ended up splitting it into parts instead of 1 whole fic! day 3 of rarepair week, part 2 of the bubblysparks saga!

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read on ao3

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Natalie adjusted her sun hat, trying to block the bright rays from shining directly in her eyes. She heard a distant whoop of ‘cannonball!’ followed by a shout of ‘SILVA!’ When she looked over, she saw that Octavio had leapt from the very cliff he’d been told not to jump from, and now he was pulled onto Makoa’s surfboard, missing one leg.

“It should float back up,” the man was saying. “I wore the waterproof ones today.”

The leg never appeared, and Octavio had to be taken back to shore where he sat, arms crossed and pouting.

Natalie approached him, stepping carefully onto the towels and blankets laid over the sand, as she hated the feeling of it beneath her feet, before crouching next to him with a smile.

“Would you like to build a sandcastle?” She asked kindly.

“No way, José,” he complained. “I wanted to dive.”

Natalie frowned down at his swimming vest. “But...would this not make you float?”

“Yeah,” Octavio said. “I can’t swim.”

Natalie was very confused, but she was used to feeling that way around him. She sat back on her haunches and looked at everyone else enjoying themselves.

Elliott was sunbathing on a yellow towel, arms folded behind his head and hair wrapped up to protect it from the sun's harsh rays. Crypto was reading a book beneath the shade of an umbrella, the hood of his sleeveless hoodie drawn up as he fiddled with his puzzle cube in his free hand.

Ajay, Anita, Wraith, and Pathfinder were all tossing a ball around in the water while Loba floated on her back, somehow managing to stay above the waves without seeming bothered. This place wasn’t very good for surfing, but Makoa seemed content all the same to swim out into the sea on his board, little more than a speck in the distance.

She twisted her head around, looking for the remaining few Legends, but suddenly Octavio started crawling away from her, heading in Elliott and Crypto’s direction.

“Where are you going?” She asked, curious.

“I’m gonna convince Crypto to let me bury him in the sand. Later, chica.”

Realizing that she had been left alone, Natalie looked over at the others again and considered joining in their game—Wraith looked like she was having fun for once, and she wanted to be a part of that experience!

But then a pile of clothes landed beside her, causing her to startle, and she heard a familiar voice drawl,

“Alright, mates, the real star of today’s beach episode is here.”

Sighing, Natalie glanced behind her to see Ramya approaching, ponytail fluttering in the window. She was somewhat surprised to see what she still had her nose and bellybutton piercings in—wouldn’t those get irritated in the water?—but she chose not to voice this out loud.

The girl made a beeline for the water, but she came to a full halt when she was submerged up to her calves, before turning around and looking directly at Natalie.

“C’mon, Miss Paquette,” Ramya said, and she wasn’t so sure as to why she kept calling her that when she had a crude nickname for everyone else. “Fancy a swim?”

Natalie scowled, rubbing at her inner wrist as she watched Ramya cackle before purposefully kicking water in Elliott’s direction, earning a shriek. Those words seemed especially mocking right now, as she was sure that Ramya had figured out that that was what was written on her skin.

Natalie had wanted to join in their game before, but as soon as she realized that Ramya was too, she resigned herself to sitting alone on the beach. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she watched the others have fun, and felt rather left out—which was ridiculous, she knew, because she had chosen to be by herself. But still...

Loba soon got out of the water, wrapping a towel around herself and winking at Natalie on her way to the beach house; a reward they'd been given been given for reaching the end of yet another Apex season.

Anita soon followed after her, saying that she had important things to do, and she watched Ajay and Ramya exchange knowing smirks at these words. She didn’t really get why, though.

“Oi, Nat,” Ajay called, and she waved her hand in response. “Come and join us, now. Have some fun!”

“We’re at a bit of a disadvantage with these two,” Ramya said, pointing at Pathfinder and Wraith. “Cheaters, is what they are.”

“I am simply tall!” Pathfinder said cheerfully.

“Doesn’t change the fact that Wraith somehow always knows where the ball’s going to go!”

The older woman didn’t even say anything—just smiled.

Natalie sighed, considering her options for a moment. Crypto was still reading his book, though he was now lying flat on his back as Octavio covered his legs in sand. Elliott was still sunbathing but he was now laying on his stomach, and...

A shadow loomed over her, and when Natalie looked up, she saw Dr. Caustic approaching the group with several vials in hand. Natalie stood up quickly and backed away from him, and without even looking at her, he gruffed, “I’m taking water samples.”

Wanting to get as far away from him as possible, she glanced between the beach house and the water nervously, before turning on her heel and heading up the sandy slope.

“Oh, I wouldn’t go inside, if I were you!” Ajay called, and Natalie gave a frustrated huff, whirling around.

“Why not?”

“Just trust me.”

Natalie bit on her tongue, considering all of her other options—even the ones she didn't particularly care for—before letting out a sigh of defeat and marching herself over to the water, still making sure to not step on the hot sand directly. Ramya let out a whoop as she waded in, and Wraith greeted her with a smile.

“Alright, ladies,” Ramya said, holding the ball up high. Aside from Pathfinder, she was the tallest person playing. “Let’s give ‘em a game to remember.”

Natalie frowned, feeling like this was a dig at their opponents’ personal issues—but then Ramya tossed the ball up and hit it towards Wraith, who had backed up before it had even gone into the air. She returned it swiftly, and it barreled right between Natalie and Ajay.

The only reason Natalie did not immediately try to intercept it was because she wasn’t so sure about the rules of the game—was she supposed to keep hitting it, or could she catch the ball and then pass it like Ramya had?—and decided that she would observe the others playing before trying to do much.

The ball went back and forth between their two teams, and by the time Pathfinder had bopped it towards her, she felt confident enough to reach high into the air and try to it hit back—but Ramya leaned over, effortless due to her height, and smacked it out of the way.

Natalie looked over at her, slightly offended that she had not been given the chance to get the ball, but Ramya simply winked and clicked her tongue at her, the sun glinting off of her nose ring.

This happened twice more—if the ball came in her direction and Ramya was near enough, she would reach over and intercept it before Natalie could even raise her arms, and soon enough she was frustrated.

The wind blew towards them and nearly swept her sun hat away, but Ramya reached over and caught it, pressing it down on her head to keep it steady with a “Whoops, don’t need to pollute the sea more than we already have.”

“Do not touch me,” Natalie snapped at her, and then immediately felt bad for being rude when the other girl threw her hands up in defense.

They continued their game, and Wraith sent the ball soaring over her head. She tried to jump and catch it, but it splashed into the water behind her, and some of it got into her eyes.

Feeling close to crying because of the burning sensation, Natalie waded out of the water, trying to resist the urge to rub furiously at her face to get it to stop. Because she couldn’t quite see where she was going, she ended up stepping directly onto the hot sand, and let out a frustrated sob as she felt it between her toes—rough and burning and unpleasant.

She heard the others calling after her, but she needed some time alone, needed a moment to cool off—so she stepped carefully onto the towels again as she made her way up to the beach house, hoping that nobody would follow after her.

She heard the shower running, so she did her best to flush the sea water out of her eyes using the sink after placing her hat on the counter. Natalie braced her hands against the cool edge of the sink, taking deep breaths as she tried to calm herself down.

There’s no need to act like a child, she told herself, brushing a stray tear out of the corner of her eye. The spider-webbing scar on the left side of her face seemed to burn after so much time in the sun, so she turned to the fridge to pull out some ice, hoping that it would cool her off.

When she turned around, she yelped and nearly dropped the frozen water bottle she’d grabbed—Ramya stood there, wearing her sunhat, which couldn’t sit right on her head due to her ponytail, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“Just checkin’ up on you, Miss Paquette,” Ramya said, and procured a thin box from seemingly nowhere. “Want a chew?”

“No,” Natalie said stiffly, and fought back the urge to demand for her hat back. “...Why do you keep calling me that?”

Ramya raised an eyebrow—the slit one—unimpressed. “Is that not your name?”

“Yes, but.” Natalie took a deep breath, trying to gather all of her thoughts into one cohesive narrative, before saying, “You call everyone else by nicknames. Rude nicknames. You’ve even called me Watty—so why the sudden change towards Miss Paquette?”

“It’s cuz it’s easy,” Ramya retorted with a grin. “Sounds a bit like my name, so that way I always remember it.”

Natalie squinted at her, trying to figure out if this was another one of her jokes, before asking, "And why did you keep stealing the ball from me?"

"I didn't steal anything. You kept avoidin' it, so I figured you just didn't want to hit it 'nd did you a favor." Ramya crossed her arms, cocking one hip out as she continued, "I can add it to ya tab if you're so ungrateful."

More annoyance flared up insider her and she clenched her fists, trying to find the politest way to tell the girl to leave her alone, when Ramya suddenly sighed, deflating before her very eyes.

“'M sorry if I’m going about this all wrong,” she said, and for the first time Natalie detected an undercurrent of...something in her voice that wasn’t sarcasm.

"And I..." Natalie mumbled, averting her gaze. "Am sorry if I have been rude."

“It's just...I never thought I’d meet my soulmate so early, ya know? Thought I’d be six feet under and meet them in whatever afterlife the universe gives me—never expected ya to be here.”

Natalie rubbed at the skin on her inner wrist, trying not to feel guilty for the way she’d been reacting to the other girl, but she couldn’t help it. She was just...loud. And rude.

But not to everyone else, apparently. They all thought she was funny, and seemed to love her. What was Natalie missing out on? What could the others see that she was unable to? Had she not given her enough of a chance?

“But I get that you don’t care for me,” Ramya sighed, turning her back on her. “It’s whatever. No use cryin' over spilled beer, or however the dumb saying goes.”

Natalie watched her leave, and felt, for the first time, the urge to follow after her and talk to her. But she hesitated, and by the time she made up her mind, the other girl was long gone, probably returning to their game.

Sighing, Natalie went to sit on the couch, but froze when she saw Loba standing outside the bathroom, toweling her hair and looking amused.

“Trouble in paradise?” She cooed, and Natalie’s face flushed. “Understandable, dear. Anita and I had lots of tension to work through before we—”

“Leave the kid alone, Loba,” Anita cut her off, exiting the bathroom as well, before giving Natalie a look much more gentle than the one she was accustomed to receiving in the Ring. “Don’t force yourself into it if you’re not ready, Nat. Parekh’s a good girl, I can tell you that, but I get that she’s not your...”

“Type?” Loba supplied.

“You’re not very compatible is what I’m saying,” Anita finished, giving Loba another look.

“Merci,” Natalie mumbled quietly, holding the cold water bottle up to her burning face as she seated herself on the couch. “I...have a lot to think about.”

The older women went to go sit on the patio, and Natalie watched them through the windows, the sun starting to set over the sea and painting the sky blood orange. It reminded her a lot of Ramya's suit that she wore in game, and she let out yet another sigh, carding her fingers through her hair.

Perhaps...Natalie had judged her too soon.

#bubblysparks #wattpart #wattson #rampart #apex legends #apex rarepair week #shut up mike #mike writes things

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tanoraqui · 4 years

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I just wanted you to know that I just read all your hellmurder castle 'verse posts and I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCH

what you have to understand about my Hellmurder Castle AU (Homestuck set in the world of Girl Genius, if you haven’t read it) is that it was born specifically from my spite exasperation with all the long, epic AUs about either only the trolls or the trolls + beta kids, with alpha kids appearing as background characters at best and often not at all. Many of these fics are great, and many of them were written or at least planned before the alpha kids even appeared in canon, in which case it’s not the authors’ faults at all. But I LOVE my alpha kids, and Roxy may be my favorite and Dirk is a delight, but I was ALSO tired to tears of how even in fics featuring the alpha kids, it was almost always Derse-heavy.

So I basically said “fuck it”, yeeted them all into the world of Girl Genius (which was inevitable), figured out the torrid backstory of the beta kids and ancestors and how the dancestors and trolls fit in, and set about focussing the plot and character development exclusively on the alpha kids, particularly Jake and Jane. Particularly particularly Jake, because a) I thought him more underappreciated than Jane, and b) the idea of a Heroic Adventurer who constantly has to resist his own reflex to be a minion is fucking funny.

Let’s elaborate, shall we? Because I’m okay again, after the epilogue. I have forgiven. So, the hypothetical pfennig novels/fics in a series:

Jake English: Escape from Castle Lalonde

In which Jake leaves home, and meets a number of interesting people.

covers from basically that scene of Roxy capturing him through Jake escaping with Jane, and them agreeing to be adventuring partners. A lot of the middle consists of Jake helping Roxy and Dirk win back Roxy’s ancestral home of Castle Lalonde, defeating whatever villainous spark - probably an OC - had taken up residence.

Jake means to leave, but Roxy and Dirk need help cleaning up, and getting their labs running, and with interesting projects…and possibly they put a shock collar on him so he can’t leave the grounds…or at least tell him that’s what the collar does, and prove it, like, twice, and then turn it off because they don’t actually want him crippled in an emergency; mostly he’s just a great minion and Roxy is pretty sure he’s destined to be part of their team for defeating the Batterwitch, as laid out in the obscure and highly metaphorical prophecy her mother left her in a wizard book.

this is not at all good ground for either friendship or a healthy minion/master relationship, which is why Jake is pretty damn game to help Jane escape and then run away with her.

Jake English and the Red Miles

in which…I actually have barely any memory of wtf is supposed to happen in this one. Presumably, they have to survive the Red Miles at some point, with some ridiculous series of revivificationsthe trolls show up at Jake and Jane’s camp (okay fine, I love them, too), and after some alarmed mutual weapon-pointing, explain that Jake’s grandmother, Lady English, made them after Jake left, except now she’s died so they’ve come to find Jake and either bring him home or, at least, join his adventuring team and keep him safe

(yeah, Jade instilled some loyalty, which is Sketch. In fairness, when she lost control of the original generation of trolls, all her best friends were killed and/or disappeared, presumed dead. she has reasons)

I wonder if there was supposed to be a timeskip between this and the previous book, or if Escape from Castle Lalonde happened later into Jake going out adventuring than I think, or if Jade just got bored and made 12 new people like…3 hours after Jake left home

for pacing, the trolls should probably show up pretty early in this story, so they have a long time to be around before shit hits the fan

a lot of this book, aside from whatever shenanigans they’re dealing with re: Red Miles, would be Jake dealing with the fact that he is suddenly responsible for 12 people who keep looking to him for orders, and somewhere in the distance is an entire town (Hellmurder Village) that’s likewise.

they do not go back to the Castle at the end of this book, even though they arguably should bc Jake has responsibilities. But he also has adventuring to do, by golly, and…hm, it’s one of the Rings that causes the Red Miles, isn’t it? So maybe they get it at the end of this book, and now they have to track down the other one. Which brings us to…

Jake English and the Rings of Skaia

In which Jake and Jane (and Roxy and Dirk, and 12 young trolls) explore a castle, learn a little history, and generally level up their friendshipsI split up the aspects of Castle Heterodyne in this au: Jake has the recently inherited Castle with the terrifying, nigh-magical power source buried in its depths, and Jane has the abandoned derelict that is fully sentient, most automated, and even more malicious than it is trapped. This is the story of that castle, and the Ring of Life hidden somewhere in it

Jack Noir. The castle’s sentience is Jack Noir. Or perhaps more accurately Spades Slick? Who cares.

I had a very elaborate mythology/history thought up at some point about the twin spark queens of Derse and Prospit and their great enmity, and the saga of betrayal and heroism that marked their reigns and left behind this castle and two super magical scientific rings of power, and I do not remember ANY of it now.

This is the bit where that scene of Dirk ripping out Vriska’s soul comes from. He and Roxy are here for the fabled treasure as well - possibly the castle only appears/is accessible at certain specific times? And they don’t know the trolls are with Jake, so…clusterfuck, there.

Jake English and the Troll Queen

in which the big bad is reveeled

there’s trouble brewing in the countryside, idk, monsters or pirates or something that can be traced, after some investigative heroing, to the self-styled Her Imperial Condescension, still unfortunately at large

mostly this fic is Jake growing into leadering a little more but also addressing the question of that inbuilt loyalty Jade gave this generation of trolls, because really, that was Sketch - and in general, who are we as people defined by who we follow, what groups we ally ourselves with; is it birth or genetics or who raised us or the family we choose or…

i kinda think Dirk and Roxy are conducting concurrent but generally not overlapping investigations to Jake&Jane’s(+the trolls) (dirk and roxy having pretty neatly answered all the above questions years ago by choosing each other, but still being kind of insular about it, and need to relax just enough to trust other people)

in the end there’s some confrontation with the Condesce and she convinces ½-2/3 the trolls to join her bc, honestly, why shouldn’t they

Jake English and the Castle in the Lake

in which…okay, in this one bit of fic I implied her base was in the ocean but I totally had this title written somewhere, so what is the truth??

in the above linked scene, the trolls who stayed with Jake and Jane were Karkat, Terezi, Kanaya, Gamzee, and Feferi, but idk about that. If Feferi’s there, why isn’t Sollux? And, like, Aradia would probably have just fucked off in her own direction completely, given the chance…

our heroes are trying to sneak into HIC’s base and disable it, okay. that is the plot of this one. probably they have to find it first, which is tricky, and basically a D&D dungeon crawl, and that’s before Jane gets tiara’d. Which definitely happens climactically. and then everyone else gets captured, with the possible exception of Dirk, who probably gets beheaded instead. things do not look good for our heroes…

Jake English and the Lost Hero

in which we find out exactly what happened in the previous generation

maybe even alternating chapters, past/present?

what happened basically is that the first generation of trolls, the Ancestors, went absolutely batshit roughly as per homestuck canon. The Condesce, being OP, started just conquering land. She was stopped, eventually, mostly by the epic sacrifice of Rose and Dave. And John…except Rose and Dave’s bodies were found, and in a clusterfuck of inventions warping time and space and reality itself, John’s never was

Jade survived, of course. obviously.

John did, too, it is revealed. He was just disconnected from the time-space continuum, stuck popping up in random times and places, sometimes close to those he loved and sometimes not, mostly uncontrollable…

he’s appeared here and there throughout the stories, probably, a mysterious figure in blue who nearly has time to say something before dissolving into fizzing wind. Now he appears more frequently, and for longer periods as the story goes on, including just enough to help break Roxy and Jake out of prison. And whichever trolls were stubbornly sticking with them - if the Condesce wasn’t just mind-controlling all the reluctant ones…let’s be real, she was…lotta “I know you’re in there somewhere” fights here, probably

also, Vriska reveals herself to still be trying to help our heroes, because it is SO Vriska to try to double-cross Her fucking Imperious Condescension

this double-cross is revealed partly from her using Jake’s minioning safeword that he developed with Grandma Jade, way back when; meaning roughly “I don’t want to do this but I’m not sure I can stop”. It’s pumpkin, of course.

they revivify Dirk on the way out, and either stop in the Condesce’s lab to get sparkily distracted trying to pin John into reality or they make it back to Hellmurder Castle before doing that?

What am I saying. The Condesce is probably working on some spacetime-warping tech of her own, and Roxy, Dirk, and Jake use it to fully anchor John for the first time in…who knows, subjectively? It’s possible he stays behind to buy them time to run

Jake English and the Battle for the Green Sun

in which things come to a head

aka the Battle for Hellmurder Castle, and it’s mysterious and terrible power source

Jane and half or so of the trolls start out on the Condesce’s side, but if you thought there were good “I know you’re in there” fights before, just WAIT until Jake saves Jane with the power of friendship

ultimately, it’s alpha kids + Alternian trolls + dancestor-clanks VS Her Imperial Condescension

it’s close

it’s very close

I would have krilled for an H–EIR—ESS CHALLENGE X3 COMBO, ie, Jane, Feferi, and Meenah vs. the Condesce, so that happens

John maybe appears one last time-displaced time, for him before the events of Lost Hero, to deliver a well-timed hammer swing

I love Jake, but I’ll give Homestuck this one: Roxy getting the final blow with an ancestral Strider sword? Perfect.

in the denoument Jake awkwardly invites everyone to live in Hellmurder Castle, because he feels vaguely like he should stay and look after it, and of course he wants his chums around. Jane, Roxy, and Dirk are all like, “well, a real lab or seven would be amazing…but also…adventuring. Why don’t YOU come with US?” Jake is like, “oh JEEPERS yes!” The trolls and dancestors meanwhile talk out among themselves who genuinely wants to stay and who wants to go out adventuring, either with these idiots or just to make their own way

#homestuck #girl genius #jake english #jane crocker #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #hellmurder castle au #my fic #ficlet #ministro spei #virgine vitae #hs trolls #dancestors #latrone nihil #duce animi #random anon asks

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burning-up-a-sun · 4 years

Text

Phone-Boxes - Part 2.

Pairing: Tenth Doctor x Rose (Doctor Who).

Word Count: 3757.

Warnings: None, except bad writing and pretentiousness.

For @b-a-s-i-c-b-i-t-c-h , the (terrible) saga continues!

______________________________________________________________

A day went by, and he came across a house. He saw it first in the far distance, where the curious light was brightest. It had grown stronger still today, all kinds of shades of pink and purple, like the pink from in her bedroom back on Earth. It made him think of her again, but so did everything else. Even here, he could not escape the memory of Rose.

As the house came closer to the windows of the TARDIS, the Doctor could see its yellow lights winking, the plume of soft grey smoke all around it billowing from a short chimney on one side of the tiled roof. The house rested on the very top of a medium-sized planet, the ground a plantless but richly red soil. It looked a little bit like Earth, although the colours were too bright, the textures far too defined. Like a photograph of Earth, taken from the memory of one who had not seen it in some time. Nearly hidden behind the house, the Doctor could see the phone box, cherry-red, and above it all the shape of a television forming in the light.

In a moments thought and a rattle of broken controls, the Doctor brought the TARDIS down onto the surface of the planet. He lingered by the planet's edge and called out anxiously. He could tell that there was life inside; he had not seen another life in a very, very long time.

When no reply came back to him, he came closer to the house's forest-green front door. The door was already open. He pushed it cautiously and stepped through.

There was just one room in the bottom floor, for the house was very small. The tiles were quaint and cream-coloured, worn down with time and pacing footsteps. The room - a kitchen - was filled with song. With her small back turned to him, an old woman was cooking and humming to herself. She did not start when the Doctor cleared his throat, but she gradually stopped humming. He immediately missed the sound.

"I mean you no harm." He said quietly, and he held up his hands so that she could see them. She looked at him for quite some time, taking him in as a mother would her child. He wondered if she pitied him. From her sad eyes and melancholy smile, it looked like she did.

"Is there anyone else here?" He asked. She shook her head. In the pot she had been stirring, something bubbled. She looked down at the floor, and went back to her cooking. She seemed suddenly ashamed of the little existence she lead; the small, forgettable space she filled.

Behind the bubbling of the pot and the hum of sounds throughout the house, there was a chilling emptiness that told the Doctor everything he needed to know. "It's only you."

She did not have to tell him that he was right, for in that moment the phone began to ring.

Through the open window, the Doctor could hear it floating in. By now, the sound was hypnotically beautiful, sirenic, heavy with the promises of five more minutes with her. It was a painful promise: five minutes that would make the whole universe worthwhile, and then the clock turned back and the waiting began again for another twenty four hours. He was wasting away the last years of his life for a handful of words and the illusion of forgiveness.

With these thoughts swimming in his head, he went out through the back door to the telephone box in the garden. To steady his face and the shaking in his hands, he took a long breath in. And then he picked up the phone.

"Rose." he said, and he smiled to himself. After all this time, it was ecstasy upon his tongue to say her name and know that it was really her. He would hear her voice in only a second, and it would not be the silence playing tricks with his tired head.

The short but sufficient response was, "Am I that predictable?"

"You're the only person that calls me." His smile faltered, and fell from his lips. It was no matter: she would not see it. She would not know that he was very sad, really, and in truth he had never missed her more. The light in the sky above him pulsed like the ghost of a lonely heartbeat, and it taunted him unbearably. He wanted to tear it from the sky and return to the terrible darkness of the moments before she called.

"That's reassuring." Rose laughed breathily, and there was a rustling as she shifted the handset onto her other shoulder, pressed against her ear. He could picture her painting her nails by the bathroom sink, and for a moment it was as though he were right there. Close enough to touch her. "And also very sad."

"What can I say, all my kind are dead." He wanted to tell her that she was, too, but something stopped him. It wasn't fair to her, for in her world she still had time. Only, now there was not much left of it.

"About that..." Rose murmured from a million miles away, voice soft as though she were standing very close to him. He closed his eyes, and tried to pretend.

When Rose did not say anything for a long moment, the Doctor gave a small, false laugh. "That's ominous."

"Shut up a second, I need to say something." she scolded him, playfully. He missed the light-hearted tone she had now. He missed the easy moments with her, and though they did not mean anything at all in the grander scheme of things, they meant everything to him.

The Doctor smiled. "Fire away."

"Getting to it!" She continued. When she spoke again, though, she was quiet, and her voice was thick with restraint. "Thank you for not just leaving me for dead, back there."

The Doctor paused, and tried to think back to the days when he was really there with her. He had saved her so many times that now he could not tell at all where or when she was. She was somewhere in the brilliant blur above the planet, tangled in the colours and the empty, starless void. "Back there?"

"On the show" She said, as though it were obvious. Of course, she could not know that it wasn't obvious to him. It stung a bit to realise that she knew next to nothing about him now. The Doctor did his best to push the thought away. "God knows I'm not too keen on dying, and there's no way in hell I'm dying on the bloody Weakest Link."

The memories came flooding back. Rose reaching out for him as the Transmat beam came through, filling the TARDIS with blinding light. He had never liked the light. And then the strange house, the game show, the satellite. Breaking out and finding Rose. Holding out his arms to her but never touching her. That was the first time that he had seen her die. He had not known what to say. It might have been the moment when he finally realised that she was not like the rest of his companions. It was certainly the moment when he knew he would give his life for hers. How unfortunate, then, that he never got that chance.

He remembered, too, fighting the Daleks to save her. Getting her back had meant starting an intergalactic war, embroiling himself in more chaos than he could probably handle. But that was alright - it was just what he would do for her. Now, that memory was more painful than comforting. In his dreams, his memory whispered that he had got her back once before. He must be able to do the same again. It must all be his laziness, then. His weakness. His fault.

"Ah, yes." He nodded solemnly to himself. He was a little lost in thought.

Rose paused, waiting for him to gather himself. The small gesture was sweet. She must be used to him by now. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just... guess I forgot about all that." The Doctor shook his head. Despite all the excitement from her voice, and the electricity from the lights all around, the Doctor could not shake the exhaustion that had been catching up with him for days. He was worried it would leave him dead. He hoped he could hold on, at least a little longer. He did not want to lose this time with her.

"Already?" Her voice dipped when she frowned. She was frowning now, he could tell.

"It's a busy life, Rose. I'm a busy man." he told her, glancing up at the sky above him, where one of the moons was drifting through the purple light of the rift. He could see another planet, not so far away, but it might as well have been a mirage. Recently, the light had taken to making shapes that played tricks on him - planets and spaceships, even astronauts and aliens floating through space, just out of his reach.

"Sure you are." Rose laughed at him. "The thanks still stands, you know."

The Doctor sighed, just loud enough for her to hear it. She sounded almost surprised that he had saved her life. As though he would not do the same in every life and every universe. He was still trying to find out how to save her life in this life, though. It was proving to be quite difficult. "You don't have to thank me for saving your life. Even though it was very cool of me."

"Shut up." she muttered.

"Is that any way to talk to the man who saved your life?" The Doctor teased.

The Doctor heard a sharp rustle that sounded like Rose throwing her hands up in mock exasperation. "I'm taking back my thanks!"

"No, Rose, don't do that." he soothed her, voice growing quickly more serious. He did not know quite how to say what he was thinking, but he knew she deserved to hear it. "Saving you was never not an option."

"Doctor..." Rose said slowly. He got the feeling she was going to tell him to stop talking, but he did not want to stop talking. He knew that he did not have much time left until the call shut off, and he wanted to tell her everything he had to say. He had no way of knowing that she would ever call him again; this might be the last chance he had to talk to her.

He was trying not to sound desperate, but he was not doing well. "You know I'd do anything to make sure you don't die, right?"

"Yeah, I just..." Rose sighed deeply, and it was as though a wall broke down inside her mind. The words came flooding out all at once. "It was all so crazy and weird and realistic, like this other version of Earth. It didn't feel like an alien thing at all, and I kept thinking what if you really couldn't do anything to stop it."

The Doctor nodded, but she couldn't see it and so he hummed lowly in agreement too. "Aliens I can do, humans are just weird."

Rose paused. She seemed tired and unsure of herself. "It's silly of me, I know."

"It isn't." The Doctor tried to reassure her but she only drew further away. He didn't know how to talk to her, so used to holding out a hand and touching her to make her feel alright. When he closed his eyes and really focused, he could still feel the roughness of her jackets scraping his skin. It soothed his soul, but only slightly.

Rose breathed in, breath shaky from the rattled phone-line and the distance in between them. "I just... it felt so real. I felt myself get turned into dust."

"Rose..." The Doctor breathed out for her, running his fingertip through the dust that had gathered around the phone. He wondered if the woman made phone calls from here, and who she liked to call.

There were no words for a minute or two. The Doctor watched the woman in the kitchen. Her eyes flickered up to him, and they were startlingly blue. Like the ocean; just like Rose.

"I was so scared." Rose admitted, whispering as though to keep the sadness from showing in her voice. The Doctor reached out into the tendrils of light, and he pictured himself with her, wiping away the tears running down her cheeks.

"I wouldn't let you die."

"You wouldn't." It was not a question - more a statement said to herself to calm down the racing of her wild and rampant thoughts - still it rang sadly of uncertainty. She knew that he would try to save her, for the Doctor was reckless and self-sacrificing to a fault, but even the Doctor could not do everything in the world. Even the smartest and strongest and most powerful of beings had things they could not do. Alone on Earth and months before her untimely demise, Rose could only hope that the Doctor's downfall was not her.

The Doctor knew what she was afraid of, but he granted her false hope. He bit his tongue so he did not say something that would ruin everything. The way he lived, it was hard to tell how much time passed in between the days, but he was sure she still had some months left. Or perhaps it was just days. A thrill of abject outrage and crippling guilt ran up his spine and branched out through the jutting lines of his ribs.

"I promise you I won't let you die." but the promise sounded hollow and it did more harm than good to him. It only seemed to worsen the aching in his chest, like both his hearts were shattering into pieces thrown out into the universe. His love for her would leave a trace that everyone would see.

"Doctor, I-"

The Doctor never heard what she was going to say, for when he heard the feeling in her voice, like something very heartfelt that he did not deserve from her, he dropped the phone back into its hook, and put his head in his shaking hands. A moment passed, and the coins dropped down into the receptor with a sudden, jarring crash. When the sharp ringing from the impact had died away, the universe was silent once again. The Doctor was alone again, like he was meant to be.

He stood there, with one hand running through his hair and the other resting on the top of the phone handset, stroking the cool metal as though with a wish and a prayer it might come to life once more. He stood there for a very long time. Lost in thought, he barely noticed the woman shuffling to the window and looking out at him. He could swear that she pitied him, and he felt a prickle of resentment at the feeling. Who was she to judge him for his loneliness when she herself was all alone? The Doctor felt bad as soon as he had thought it, feeling Rose's disapproval burning into him like a branding iron. He put the phone down and went inside to her.

She was now ladling some sort of soup from the pot into two bowls. He wondered if she had already known that he would come for tea. He could not tell, but either way he pulled out a chair and sat down.

The soup was not unpleasant. It was salty and unusual, almost like something from Earth but not quite. The Doctor thought he could see vegetables in it, but he could not tell what they were. It had been a very long time since he had eaten. It had always been Rose who had made cups of tea and rounds of toast in the TARDIS. Without her, he had all but left behind his human ways of life. He did not eat or drink or read or write. He slept and woke and spoke to Rose and went to sleep again.

The Doctor looked up from his bowl. The woman was watching him again. He cast her a quick, perfunctory smile. He did not want to be rude, especially when she had made him food. The smile she returned to him was awkward and unfamiliar, as though she were only imitating him. It was as though she had never seen another person before. On this small and lonely planet, very far from all of human life, it was more than likely she had not.

"So... you been here long?" The Doctor asked, if only by way of making conversation.

She gave him no reply. He took a large gulp of the soup. "I'm guessing that's a no."

Neither spoke for the rest of the meal. The Doctor finished his soup, standing to try and wash the bowl in the small sink beneath the kitchen window. The woman stood quickly and took his bowl, shaking her head insistently. Waddling over to the sink, she turned her back to him.

The Doctor cleared his throat and wondered if he should leave. When she did not turn around again, he went to the door and stood in the doorway, waiting for her to stop him or let him go. Instead she glanced over her shoulder, elbow-deep in soapy water, and gave him back his smile from earlier. It seemed more natural now.

A broad shaft of peachy light poured in through the garden window. It played on her face as she looked at him. She had the skin of a very old woman, sagging and deeply lined, but in her eyes there was a youthful brightness, like the memory of adventure. She must have lived an intriguing life, for these plain old women often have.

The light was gone; she turned away, looking back at her washing-up; the Doctor went outside and stood on the front doorstep. His eyes, roaming over the rest of the small house, came upon a narrow staircase up the side of the house that he had not seen before. He had been in such a hurry to get to the phone-box, and to Rose.

This had been the first house that he had seen since he had left Earth on Doomsday, and he forgave himself his invasive curiosity. Hearing the humming resuming in the kitchen, he crept up the stairs and into the top part of the house.

There too, there was a single room. Small and square, it had a thin bed and a chest of drawers and a wardrobe filled with the same one dress ten or twenty times. It was mid-length and flowery and blue, and he remembered it from somewhere, although he could not remember where.

The top drawer of the chest of drawers had been left slightly open; it caught the Doctor's eye. Through the narrow opening, he could see the glassy shine of picture frames stacked on top of each other. He pried the drawer open a little more, and held a frame up to the light.

The picture inside was old and faded - a man and a woman outside of a church. A standard wedding photo, or it would be if not for the police box in the background. A shiver ran up the Doctor's spine. It was not the TARDIS - it was too small, the windows round and the lantern on the top large enough to cover almost the entire roof of the box. The photograph was old and faded, but the Doctor could still tell that the police box was more purple than blue.

He looked at the couple. The man was shrewd-looking and dark-haired, wearing a pin-stripe suit. His messy brown hair stuck up as though in some invisible breeze. The woman was blonde and shorter than him, her large eyes dark and filled with that wonder that he recognised in the old woman downstairs. It must have been her wedding picture. So why did the couple in the photograph remind him so much of two people that he knew?

It was then that he remembered where he had seen the dress. In the window of a department store, one Christmas back on Earth. Rose had said that it was the most beautiful dress that she had ever seen. She would wear it if she had the money or the opportunity. The Doctor had never told her, but he had bought it that same night, after he had dropped her off at home. For months he had kept it in a suitcase in the TARDIS, waiting for the right time to give it to her.

He had planned to run away with her. He had thought that she could wear it then.

After Doomsday, he had pushed the suitcase far away from where he could see. He thought he might have put it in the spare parts storage room, with the nuts and bolts and cables and the great scraps of unusable metal. It might still be in there somewhere, or it might have turned to dust. He could not bring himself to look for it, so he could never know for sure.

Now the dress was all around him, along with the caricature of Rose. The woman had her wedding photo, her dresses, her eyes. She had had her face, her love. She was Rose entirely, but she was not the Rose he knew. Her world was almost his exactly, but it wasn't quite the same.

He held the picture frame so tightly in his hands that the glass began to shatter at the edges and the corners. A deep crack ran from side to side, cutting through the smiling couple's faces. He could no longer see Rose, but he could feel her all around him. It was clamoring and overwhelming and he thought that he might scream, or explode spontaneously.

Dropping the frame with a resounding smash, he bolted down the staircase and across the planet's dirt. The TARDIS was moored not far away; he boarded quickly and pushed off. His breathing did not calm or slow until the planet's edge was far away, the light pulsing in between and creating a soft, purplish mist that made it all less terribly real.

As the almost-Earth faded from sight, he saw the woman walking down towards the planet's edge. She waved at him and he waved back, shakily. She gave him her sad smile.

#doctor who #dr who #tenth doctor #10 doctor #david tennant #rose tyler #billie piper #ten x rose #10 x rose #doctor x rose #rose x ten #rose x 10 #rose x doctor #doctor who fanfiction #dr who fanfiction #bbc #stephen moffat

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lothirielswanmarvel · 4 years

Text

AVENGERS: LOVE AND LIGHTNING - Sneak Peak

All is fair in love and Thor! After tricked into a betrothal by a princess from another realm, Evangeline Green must find the Eternal Flame to win back her freedom, and save the nine realms. But those aren't the only sparks flying. Things are heating up between Evangeline and the seductive God of Thunder, but will his treacherous ex-girlfriend, Enchantress, and a group of feuding Avengers tear apart this unspoken romance?

“You were gone for forty-five minutes.”

“Please, don't.”

“You were gone for forty-five minutes, and you came back engaged to a lesbian fairy princess,” Wanda judged me over the rim of her mug as she sipped her tea.

“Don't say it out loud,” I groaned and stuffed my face into one of the throw pillows on the couch.

“Technically it was an elven lesbian princess,” I heard Stephen correct her.

“Technically it was an elven lesbian princess and Thor,” Scott chimed in, forcing me deeper into the depths of the couch. I muffled my moans of misery.

“Let’s recap here,” Nat said, steepling her fingers together and bringing them to her lips. Thor kept staring at her blonde hair with a distasteful look. “We need to find this Eternal Flame in twelve days, or elves overtake Asgard and invade here. And Angie has to marry Arwen from Lord of the Rings.”

“She had white hair,” I added. Asta agreed that the Eternal Flame had to be returned to call off the engagement.

“Like the dragon lady from Game of Thrones?” Scott piped up.

“Actually, I heard the dragon lady’s not a natural blonde. They dyed her hair for the show.”

“What? Seriously? It's not real? I feel so betrayed…”

“Wait until he finds out the dragons aren't real,” Stephen muttered. The Sorcerer Supreme cleared his throat, “Thor, do you know where the Eternal Flame is?”

I glanced over at Thor, who sat next to me on the couch. He winced, staring down at the glass table. “Well, it's sort of, complicated…”

“What happened? Did Smokey the Bear stomp it out?” Sam remarked. He stood behind Cap’s chair, chest puffed out, arms crossed. There was still unease between the Avengers. I hoped Thor would take away the pressure, somehow.

“It has to do with Loki, doesn't it?” Clint said out loud. “That's when it all goes to shit, isn't it? Come on, buddy, tell me I'm right.”

Thor was extremely quiet for a minute.

“Yes. Loki moved it to Earth.”

Clint leaned back in his seat with a smug smirk. “Called it. Knew it was the turd.”

“Did you just call the God of Mischief a turd?” Scott glanced warily up at the ceiling, waiting for a lightning bolt to strike down from the heavens and smite someone. “Isn't that bad ju-ju or something?”

Rhodey nodded mutually. “Maybe. But it’s the truth; he was a real turd.”

I felt a small smidge of relief. I could get everyone to agree on something—that was a start.

“It was about, uh, seven hundred years ago,” Thor recalled. Peter Parker and Shuri sat criss-crossed on the ground, listening eagerly. “Loki—he was my brother, who was murdered by the dark elves—and he liked doing experiments and blowing things up, but our mother, who has also passed away very recently—she murdered by the dark elves too, but I killed all of them—anyways, she told him not to do the experiment on Asgard so he wouldn't destroy the kingdom. So he went to Earth instead,”

“What happened then, Mr. Thor?” Peter asked.

“Well he did the experiment, and I believe he created something...a plague of some sort? Anyways—”

“Wait, you said seven hundred years ago…” Wanda started counting on her fingers.

“Are you saying that Loki was responsible for the bubonic plague, commonly referred to as The Black Death?” Vision inquired in his usual neutral tone.

I squeezed the pillow tight to my chest. I owned a small cupcake business (it helped smooth things over with my degree in political science, and it gave me a reason to avoid eating out), and I wondered if I should let the Avengers eat the latest order I made, just to take their minds off of European disasters.

“Actually, that might have been my fault...I tried to make some soup…” Thor trailed off, suddenly solemn.

I sat up abruptly. “Who wants cupcakes?”

Tony’s head snapped away from the alcohol. “Mine! I get Steve’s!”

I stood and walked away from the Avengers as they started to bicker amongst themselves. I went to the kitchen counter and peeked into the light-pink cardboard box—

Crap. The blush on my face matched the box. I cursed myself silently.

It was February, so over half of my orders were Valentine's Day-themed. This one was incredibly expressive, topped with antacids and messages inscribed in frosting.

Nothing was going to take my mind off this stupid marriage-thing. Or Thor’s engagement present that he never told me about. Or my stupid feelings.

“Hey, they’re my colors.”

I looked up at Wanda, smiling innocently. She had a small face with perfectly round eyes. Her high cheekbones made her look solemn outside of conversations, permanently tormented with knowledge in everyone else’s heads.

I nodded and started to poke around drawers for paper plates. “You and Vision get to spend Valentine's Day together now. That's exciting.”

“We already had plans,” Wanda said, opening up a cabinet above and setting the plates on the counter.

She shrugged at my confused expression. “I didn't just stay in contact with you, even though texting you is...so much fun.”

“You know I prefer face-to-face.”

Wanda glanced back at the living room. “So does he.”

I didn't stare at who she was talking about. I bent down for napkins. Wanda leaned back on the black granite counter, “Vis and I had a system to keep in touch...kind of like you asking that Heimdall-guy about Thor.”

“What's the point to all of this?” I said, standing upright again. I didn't overlook the comparison she made.

Wanda had plucked one of the cupcakes with red frosting from the batch, rotating it with her slender, twig-like fingers. “He never did anything like that with Jane.”

“Jane was busy, she had a career.”

Wanda offered me the cupcake she stole. “So do you.”

I handled the cupcake lightly as I returned it to the box and closed it.

“I know you like him. And now he's here, and I've looked in his mind...and I think you should go for it.” Wanda said.

I sighed and looked up at her. Wanda was a mind-reader. As friends, it was something to get used to in the beginning, but after awhile, I didn't really mind anymore. I was her open book. Wanda understood me, probably better than anyone else.

And she knew what I was about to say as I shook my head. “He’s nice, but I have so much on my plate right now. There’s the Accords and Ross and taking care of you guys. My business, college, this marriage-elf disaster—”

“You’re right.” She said. “But is adding one little cupcake to your plate too much?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hi Awesome Adventurers! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed. I’m so excited for this new series I’ve started publishing on AO3, The Collector’s Cosmic Romance Saga. We have tons of Thor love and a steamy Peter Quill love triangle is coming soon! Join the Avengers and Evangeline Green on a galactic journey in part two, Avengers: Love and Lightning. Love, fortune and glory to you!!

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alette-stars · 5 years

Text

The giant goes to rest. More than two years, 130 000 words and many screams and tears since its start, Lavender Jade is complete.

Let me start off by thanking you all for supporting this fic! When I started I had no idea it was going to receive the love it has. Before Lavender Jade I was known for more overall lighthearted works (Mint and Poppy in the Monsta X fandom, Stray Romance for ASTRO). All your constant love and support has been a huge help. Thank you so much! Words cannot describe the joy your comments and messages gave me ♡

I’ve made so many amazing friends and spoken to so many beautiful people because of this work, but this fic is dedicated to Monsta X ♡

Okay, enough sappiness! Time to move on to the trivia and extras. This is my 4th trivia post (you can find Mint and Poppy here; Stray Romance here; Wrong (Right) Number here) and longest yet, so it’s in 3 parts:

basic tidbits/extra info

regarding the vei, the card divination system

some personal rambling regarding my character motives (entirely skippable)

If it’s not obvious, there are going to be major spoilers, so if you haven’t read the fic yet but plan to do so, I advise not reading this ^^

If you need, you can always reference the character list here

Okay, so let’s get started! Rest of the post is under the cut

1. Basic Trivia

Most of the extras in the fic were original characters this time, with a few exceptions. Even these exceptions are not exactly based on the idols they’re named after, but I imagined them while writing. These are:

Sojung, Jooheon’s bodyguard - WJSN’s Exy

Sewoon, Kihyun’s manservant - soloist Jeong Sewoon

Seungwoo, another of Kihyun’s servants - soloist Yoo Seungwoo

Dawon, Hyunjung, Jiyeon, Luda, Soobin, Juyeon, the girls mentioned as being part of Jooheon’s people in Eigak - WJSN’s Dawon, Seola, Bona, Luda, Soobin, Eunseo

Along with the ones living, there were those who lived in the past. Mentioned in-text:

Hoseok II, a previous king of Yishin - BTS’ J-Hope

Seokjin, a consort to Hoseok II - BTS’ Jin

Kim Namjoon, prime minister of Hoseok II - BTS’ RM

Hakyeon, the first king of Yishin - VIXX’s N

And those referenced only in the snippets in the chapter summaries:

Jungsoo, a previous king of Yishin - Super Junior’s Leeteuk

Kyuhyun, a historian - Super Junior’s Kyuhyun

Yoongi, a consort to Hoseok II - BTS’ Suga

Taekwoon, high prince to Hakyeon - VIXX’s Leo

For some reason which I still cannot fathom, I’ve been praised for the worldbuilding in this fic. The capital city of Yishin doesn’t even have a name.

The basic geography of the peninsula is Yishin, Eigak to her east, a number of tiny states to her west, the sea to her south. The western side of Yishin is more fertile. The stretch of border between Yishin and Eigak is a rocky wasteland.

Yishin was named as a mix of Wonho’s two surnames: Lee and Shin

The concept of snippets from literature and media from the universe as chapter summaries was inspired by Steven Erikson’s Malazan Book of the Fallen saga. The vei deck (more on it later) was also very heavily inspired by his Deck of Dragons in the same books.

A lot of fics focus on Hyungwon’s looks (something I’m guilty of as well) so I wanted to write a world where he wasn’t considered handsome. I understand why all the shows set in alternate worlds have the same beauty standards as us—it makes for prettier TV—but I decided to set a different one for the world of Lavender Jade. Somewhat arbitrarily, we have:

considered very handsome - Hoseok, Minhyuk, Changkyun

considered somewhat handsome - Kihyun

considered plain/regular - Hyunwoo, Hyungwon, Jooheon

Han Jehan, obviously, also falls in category 1.

Han Jehan was my first time writing a proper villain in my fics, and I don’t know how well I succeeded but I enjoyed it immensely. I went out of my way to add all the traits I like so that I wouldn��t end up hating him, even going so far as to give him the surname of one of my favourite idols (sorry Hyuk).

There are two main things I’d change in the fic if I could turn back time:

tighten up the front end. I’d combine the first couple of chapters

Yeon Hu would be a woman. By the time I realized the awesome power of a badass lady general, it was too late

All court members—Jo Senmi, Yeon Hu, etc—are original characters. They’re both basic archetypes you’ll find in sageuk dramas. I think it’s worth mentioning both of them really do love Yishin, they just had very different, more conservative ideas of what would be best for the country.

I’d thought of using all the proper Korean names for the clothes especially, but decided that would make things difficult to read and binned the idea.

The opening note says the world is inspired by the Joseon dynasty. Regarding the initiatives to improve people’s lives, yes, but the hall/court system is more inspired by (what I know of) the Goryeo dynasty system.

I’ve been asked this before, but I’ll answer it here again: I’d never finished a sageuk drama before Flower Crew (very recently, and only because I was watching it with my sisters), and definitely not while I was planning this fic. Don’t judge me. The one I would recommend is Six Flying Dragons, most like Lavender Jade in tone. The others I’ve made headway into are Moonlight Drawn by the Clouds, Ruler: Master of the Mask, and The King and the Clown.

I’m surprised no one brought up the foreshadowing I did near the end of chapter 16. Seven stars, two possible fates. The final fate of the two lovers (Kihyun and Changkyun) turned out to be a mix of the two stories: there was a fire, and the heavenly king was pulled from heaven (Kihyun from his position) to live the rest of his life with his lover.

Unlike my other secret couple (myungjin in Stray Romance) there are no hints of Hyunwoo and Minhyuk. They never did anything that would show. Minhyuk attempts to fluster Hyunwoo, but he does that with everyone.

Changkyun’s final card from the reading in chapter 8 is the two of Knives. It means a sacrifice.

My favorite parts of the fic to write were Kihyun’s various descriptions of Changkyun’s beauty :)

This is, undoubtedly, the fic that has required the most work from me. I will say the most difficult scenes to write were Minhyuk’s fight with the assassin and Hyunwoo’s with Kim Sungil. Action scenes are not my forte.

If you don’t know, I have written a romantic one-shot set in the same universe, titled Only One

2. The Vei

I don’t know how obvious this was, but the entire vei deck concept was inspired by and based on VIXX. The idea itself came from the Deck of Dragons in Steven Erikson’s Malazan Book of the Fallen saga.

There are 84 cards in the deck: 72 cards in six suits, and 12 Unaligned. The Unaligned can be paired off, where each card is the opposite of its pair (with the exception of the last pair). The Unaligned cards are:

Fountain and Grave - a beginning and an ending

The Open Hand and The Closed Hand - generosity and miserliness

The Lord and The Lady - bad luck and good luck

The Centaur and The Fox - someone proud and someone crafty

Magnolia and Crown of Thorns - misery in success and happiness in failure

Pyramid and Mirror - stability/instability and karmic justice/unfairness

The six suits, along with the member they represent, are:

Stars - N

Rings - Leo

Shells - Ken

Scrolls - Ravi

Flowers - Hongbin

Knives - Hyuk

Each suit, like our playing cards, has a king, queen, and knight (jack). The king of each suit is based on a VIXX member, and has some particular qualities along with being very rare. All visual cues for the kings come from VIXX’s masterpiece MV, Shangri-La.

Stars - King: the Emperor, Queen: Sloth, Knight: the Page. The Emperor is the rarest card in the deck, and is represented by a crowned man with no features, only darkness in place of a face. The Page is the icon of diligence (and was in Minhyuk’s hand in chapter X). The theme of the suit is mystic fates, technically the uncategorized cards. In the natural half of the deck.

Rings - King: Death, Queen: Envy, Knight: the Messenger. Death is a card of finality (like Grave). The theme of the suit is secrets. In the manmade half of the deck.

Shells - King: Life, Queen: Gluttony, Knight: the Fool. Life is a card of possibilities. The Fool denotes absolute luck--essentially the card of negation. The theme of the suit is environment. In the natural half of the deck.

Scrolls - King: the Mage, Queen: Greed, Knight: the Apprentice. The Mage is a figure of knowledge and learning. The theme of the suit is motivations. In the manmade half of the deck.

Flowers - King: the Elf, Queen: Lust, Knight: the Handmaid. The Elf is an elusive, hidden figure with hidden motives. The theme of the suit is happiness. In the natural half of the deck.

Knives - King: War, Queen: Wrath, Knight: the General. War is a decisive figure, one who brings final consequences. The them of the suit is decisions. In the manmade half of the deck.

I’ve been asked about the game played with the vei deck as well. It is a game of my own invention, yes. It’s based on trick-taking games like Hearts, where the object is to win the least cards as possible. It’s played in alternating rounds, one where the Unaligned are not used, the next where they are. I didn’t hash out the details beyond some basic motifs, but it is technically playable. Only if you have a vei deck though. The whole gameplay hinges on the fact that some cards are less likely to appear when picked from the stacked deck.

I’ve heard from more than one person that I got them into tarot as a hobby. That’s great! But the truth is I know next to nothing about tarot haha

3. Rambling

I might suggest skipping this. This adds 0 value to the post and fic aside from giving me a space to ramble and whoa it turned out long

First: King Hoseok. He’s copped a fair share of criticism in this fic regarding his passiveness and his acceptance of the unfair consort system. I will defend my handling of this character to the ends of the Earth. I’m not saying he’s perfect (obviously! the only character that comes close to that is Hyunwoo) but I think he did right by what he had.

A neat indication would be to flip back to chapter 14, the Hyungwon POV chapter. When Hoseok says that the two of them are alone even though the room is filled with servants, Hyungwon forgives it as a result of his upbringing. He’s undoubtedly biased, but he has a point. Hoseok was raised as king. Certain things that are so obvious to others don’t even register to him. The consort system, where they have to swear loyalty to him but he doesn’t to them? He was raised as seeing this as normal. They all were. He never even fathoms a consort would want to leave their position. When Kihyun tells him the truth about the affair, Hoseok is stunned. He doesn’t understand Hyungwon calling his old life of poverty a life of freedom.

Basically, Hoseok is just trying his best after being raised (and still living) in a life of absolute privilege. He expects loyalty, love, because he hasn’t been exposed to anything different. His situation is completely different from Jooheon’s, who’s grown up in a much more volatile situation. Jooheon had to learn early on to really open his eyes, to listen, and he’s much more observant and understanding. By the end of the fic Hoseok’s had a wakeup call, and he’s going to get better.

Second: the consort system. Yes, it’s cruel. It wasn’t what Hakyeon had envisioned when he had his companions instated formally. But in Yishin this is the norm. No one thinks it cruel. It’s a position of huge honor (Kihyun thinks of it a few times).

Even though there’s no homophobia, misogyny etc, Yishin is a conservative society. They haven’t had a change of regime in 23 generations. They’re used to the norm, and consortship is the norm. Also, if you look at most conservative societies, you’ll see romantic love isn’t considered a prerequisite for marriage (which is kind of what consortship is). In many societies (including my own) many people would jump at a chance for consortship, no matter their relationship with the monarch.

Third: the fic had a lot of subversion of typical historical expectations and standards. I still consider myself primarily a fantasy writer. Typical fantasy and historical works have a strong focus on honor, dignity, truth and justice and all those values.

Lavender Jade does not. Kihyun and Changkyun are oathbreakers, they are traitors (by Yishini law). Every insult flung at them is true. The king breaks his country’s laws to help them escape their deserved punishment. Even Hyunwoo, the honorable and admirable commandant, defeats Kim Sungil using an underhanded move, and gets his happy ending with another consort breaking his oath.

At times I seriously considered ending this as a tragedy. It felt fair. Kihyun and Changkyun had broken laws, broken promises. All that happened did as a result of their own actions (even Han Jehan’s targeting of Kihyun was, from what we see, brought about by Kihyun digging into his affairs). A sad ending would be deserved. But then I thought, hmm, why? Why should it be fair? Why should they be miserable because it is deserved?

So we got the ending we got, and I hope you’re all happy. I know I am.

Thank you for reading to the end of this (unnecessarily) long post! It’s almost as long as the fic itself haha If you have any questions or messages you can shoot me an ask or pm here, or on my Twitter or on CuriousCat ^^

So what’s next? I’m writing Wrong (Right) ID, an epistolary fic for ASTRO in the same style as Wrong (Right) Number, and A Match Made in Heaven, my VIXX karma officer fic (it’s an unusual concept! you should try it). Both fics will end soon, maybe even before the end of the year, so you won’t have to bear much waiting ^^;;

I’m also writing Blood, Water, a vampire fic with a strong emphasis on family for ATEEZ, so you can check that out too! This one’s going to be long and angsty and quite self indulgent ^^

I’ve been asked if I’m going to continue writing in this universe. The answer is, yes. I will be writing White Carnation, the book referenced in multiple chapters of this fic, as a novella. I might write a short story on how Hoseok and Hyungwon met, but that’s undecided. I’ve hashed out ideas for side stories involving VIXX (and the founding of Yishin) and ATEEZ (and the change of regimes in Eigak) in this CuriousCat ask and this Twitter thread, but those will probably only remain as threads ^^;;

And in the future? I have Monsta X one shots planned, and perhaps another long fic too. All possibilities are open! I hope you’ll stay with me for them ♡

Again, and as always, thank you. I hope you enjoyed Lavender Jade ♡

#fic #my writing #lavender jade

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forever-rogue · 5 years

Text

Supercut - VIII

Summary: Roger didn’t know how good he had it when Y/N was his. But when Y/N became Deacy’s, he realized he had messed up.

A/N: Hey, hi, hello, it’s me, ya girl, back (finallllyyy) with another part of this saga! I’m sorry it’s taken me forever, but between studying, taking the bar, and getting really sick (still sick woo), I just ddn’t have time to dedicate to this, and I wanted to give you all something quality. So please enjoy! xx

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader (former), John Deacon x Reader (current)

Warnings: infidelity, language

Word Count: 4.2k

Note - this is still in the past.

MASTERLIST

The First Time Roger Cheats

Playing with the napkin stretched delicately across her lap, Y/N cast an annoyed glance around the restaurant. The seat across from her was empty, utensils untouched, glass unfilled. Roger was late yet again.

She pondered how long she should wait for him before leaving. Glancing down at the ornate watch on her wrist, she realized it had already been nearing an hour. An hour of her sitting by herself and wondering if he would show up.

“Miss?” she was pulled out of her own thoughts as looked up and met the sympathetic gaze of the waiter. He looked nervous, probably hoping she wouldn’t snap at him. She forced a smile onto her face, “are you ready to order? Or still waiting?”

“I think I’m just going to go. It appears there’s been some sort of mistake,” she tossed the napkin onto the table, watching it plop there sadly, “I’m sorry for wasting your time. Do I owe you anything?”

“Don’t worry about it, Miss. I hope your evening gets better,” he gave her a small smile, and she just nodded; she hated when people pitied her. Keeping her head down, Y/N ducked out of the restaurant quickly, praying that no one saw the tears falling from her eyes.

It was probably silly to be so upset over something so trivial in the grand scheme of life, but it still stung. Roger had promised her he’d be there.

This wasn’t the first time he been date to one of their dates. Or the second. Or the third. She should have been used to it by now, but she always held up hope that he would change and make some sort of effort. It appeared that he never would.

Shrugging on her coat, she reached the nearest payphone. She wasn’t ready to go home and be alone and get too caught up in her own thoughts. It was a dark place sometimes, and not territory she wanted to enter on this dismissal evening. She knew exactly where she wanted to be.

Grabbing some spare change out of her pocket, she slipped the coins into the grimy old box, picking up the receiver gingerly. It had seen better days and she didn’t want to catch some weird disease on top of everything. She quickly dialed John’s number, gripping the cord tightly and hoping he was home.

Listening to the blaring ring for what seemed like an eternity, Y/N figured John must not have been home, and decided to abandon her efforts. Just before the receiver was put back into place, she heard a faint voice come through, “hello? Hello?”

“Deacy?” she asked quietly, hearing noise in the background. He wasn’t alone, “it’s Y/N.” “Hey! What’s up?” he asked before holding his hand over the receiver and shouting at someone in the background, “sorry about that. Bri and Freddie are over and they’re being right idiots. We’re playing Scrabble and drinking beers! They are going to get so crushed!”

“T-that sounds like fun,” she closed her eyes and imagined the three of them sitting around the table, all of them second guessing every questionable word, “I’m sorry I interrupted, I’ll let you go.”

“No, no, please don’t hang up! Why don’t you come over and join us?” he asked and her heart felt a little less heavy at his sweet words, “wait...aren’t you supposed to be on a date with Roger?”

“No,” she lied, biting her lip. If he wasn’t with her or with them, she wondered where he could be. Hopefully he’d just be crashed out at his place, drowsy with sleep, “that’s not tonight. I’ll be over soon then.”

“Perfect! I’ll get your spot ready and open a beer just for you,” he sounded so happy, and she felt like a lump was rising in her throat. She always ran to him when she needed help. But this time she couldn’t tell him, or Brian, or Freddie. Not when it was their other best friend involved, “see you soon, love bug.”

“See you soon,” she all but whispered. Hearing the click from his end, she followed suit, letting out a low sigh. Things were, and always had been, so easy with John. He lit up at the slightest sound of her voice, always smiling his signature gap toothed smile, his eyes crinkling in the corner. Sometimes she wondered is she had made a grave mistake. Maybe it should have been him all along.

Her hand perched on John’s door, she realized she probably should have gone home and changed first. They would surely ask questions when they saw her all dressed up, showing up for night in of scrabble. While she was musing if she should just run home quickly and change, the door opened and there stood John, waiting her intently.

“You’re here!” he exclaimed and threw his arms around her. She relaxed into his touch, feeling more comforted than she had in a long time, “we’re just getting ready to start a new round, what perfect timing!”

“You know I couldn’t resist a night with my best friends,” she stepped inside, immediately getting wrapped up by Freddie’s strong arms, “hello Fred, I see you’ve missed me.”

“It’s been too long-”

“It’s been five days-”

“Too long! Tell me, where has Roger been keeping you?” he chided her, taking her coat for her and ushering her into her usual spot. She bit her lip and just shrugged lightly, trying to play it coo, “is he not joining us? I dare say you’re dressed very exquisitely for a night of board games.”

“This old thing? It’s nothing, really. But, ugh, Roger’s not feeling well,” she tried to go with a simple lie and not give them all the sordid details. If she opened that floodgate, she’d be there for hours telling them about the all things that had happened between the two of them. All the missed dates, the long nights of arguments, all the little annoyances, “it’s just me. I hope that won’t put too much of a damper on your plans.”

“Huh,” Brian said as he handed her a beer, “he seemed okay earlier. I could have sworn he said something about you two going out this evening? La Rossa or something?”

“He must have been confused,” she could tell her voice was getting slightly higher as she lied, and tried to keep a straight face. It should have been so simple, she should have just told them everything, but couldn’t bring herself to do it, “it’s not tonight.”

“Y/N, is everything alright?” John asked gently, putting his hand on her knee and giving it a tight squeeze. It should have been him she thought to herself. She loved Roger though, and she knew that wasn’t a lie. Sometimes things got hard, but, by this point, she had convinced herself that Roger, and only Roger, was what she had wanted, “you can tell us anything.”

“Everything’s peachy, Deacy,” she reassured him, giving him a tight lipped smile. He could see right through her - he always knew when something was wrong. But he wasn’t going to push her on it. She would come to him when the time was right, “but thank you guys for letting me join. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend a Friday night than with you lot.”

“How did you even come up with that word!?” John stared incredulously at his curly haired best friend. Not only was it a double word score, but it was long, and therefore worth a ton of points. None of them would even have a chance of winning at this point, “are you hiding a dictionary under the table?”

Freddie quickly ducked his head under the table, narrowing his eyes as he looked at the lanky man’s lap. Brian just silently flipped him the bird, as Freddie chuckled, “I’m afraid he’s clean. Somehow he has all those words in stuffed in that big mop of curls.”

“Fine,” John huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Freddie and Y/N just chuckled as they glanced glances, while he murmured under his breath - something about Brian being a cheat and a liar.

“I hate to do this to you all, especially you, Bri, since you came up with that lovely word, but,” Y/N smirked as she slowly laid down her tiles. With each letter, the boys leaned in closer, watching with shocked faces as she topped Brian’s score, “I believe that is the new high score.”

“How are you both doing this?” John was exasperated now, throwing his hands in the air. She just gave him a smug smirk as she shrugged her shoulders innocently, “you’re all liars and cheats. This is the last time I’m playing with any of you. Except Freddie.”

“Do you hear that Bri? That’s the sound of-” she was about to say a sore loser but the shrill ring of the telephone interrupted her, “the phone. Deacy, who’s calling you at this time of night?”

“I dunno,” he answered as he stood up, grumbling as he walked over the phone on the kitchen wall. He paused for a moment, letting out an annoyed sigh before picking up the phone, “Hello?”

“Who is it?” Bri called over to him, watching as John’s face went through several expression changes ranging from annoyed, to concerned, and confused.

“It’s Rog,” he said quietly, covering the mouthpiece and giving Y/N a questioning look, “he’s wondering where you’re at. Do you want to talk to him?”

Y/N felt Freddie and Brian’s eyes glued to her as her brain raced a thousand miles minute, trying to figure out what to do. Should she said just talk to him? What would they say if she refused to answer? Biting her lip, she slowly shook her head, indicating a clear no. All she said quietly was “just tell him I’m here and hang up.”

“Everything’s fine, Rog. Yeah, it’s me, Bri, and Freddie. Yes, she’s been here this whole evening,” she could tell from his strained voice that Roger was probably fuming and giving Deacy a hard time over everything. He cringed as he held the receiver from his ear, Roger’s voice coming through but unclear, “yes, I’ll tell her. Goodnight, Rog.”

John set the phone down, hands on his hips as he came slowly made his way back to over to them. He sat down slowly, letting out a long breath as he turned to Y/N, “what’s going on, Y/N?”

“What do you mean?” she asked quietly, focusing her attention on the remaining tiles in front of her. Brian and Freddie exchanged a few nervous glances.

“Roger just said he’d been trying to ring you for hours. And you weren’t at your apartment,” John sighed as he ran a hand through his short hair, “you said earlier that he wasn’t feeling well. But he made it seem like you had plans. Two very conflicting stories.”

“Darling, is everything okay?” Freddie was gentle as he put his arm around her, trying to pull her into a hug. She flinched out of his touch as she stood up, putting a hand nervously to her face, “Y/N?”

“Everything’s fine, I swear,” in her mind she said it in a reassuring tone, but out loud it sounded sad and tiny. John stood up, putting his strong hands on her shoulders, attempting to calm her down, “it’s just a bit of a misunderstanding. I should go.”

“Or you could stay a little longer,” his voice was low and warm, making her feel the tiniest bit better, “you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”

“I should though,” she insisted, giving him a half smile, “everything’s fine, don’t worry so much, Deacy. I’ll see you later. I had a good time with you three. Thank you.”

“If you need anything, just call us. We’re always here for you,” Brian gave her a small wave as she grabbed her jacket off the couch and quickly headed. Just before she closed the door, she gave the boys one last sad smile, not letting them get another word in.

Y/N grabbed her keys out of her purse, fumbling to find the right one for her door as usual. Before she could even reach for the door handle, she was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Roger sitting in front of her door.

“I was beginning to wonder if you were ever coming, pretty girl,” Roger said as he looked her up and down. He noted that she was dressed very nicely for what was seemingly a night in with the boys, “I’ve been here for over an hour.”

“Yeah? Well, I was sat, waiting for you in that restaurant for almost an hour,” she crossed her arms over chest. Two could play that game, “I was humiliated Roger! La Rossa is a nice restaurant and I was just sitting there, like a fool, by myself waiting for a man that was never going to show up.”

“Fuck,” he murmured under his breath as he anxiously ran a hand over his face, “that was tonight?”

“Yes, that was tonight,” she frowned at him. Sticking her key in the lock, she let herself in, a reluctant Roger following her in. He gave her a sad look but she wasn’t having it, “you promised this time. You’ve done this countless times and frankly, it’s getting really old. Instead of sitting there and feeling sorry for myself, I left. I called Deacy and ended up playing scrabble with him, Bri, and Freddie.”

“You could have called me to remind me!” he became flustered as he flopped down the couch, annoyed mostly with himself as he tried to control his temper. She stood there, giving him a surprised expression as he tried to pit this on her.

“No, Roger. That is not my job. I am your girlfriend not your keeper. It’s your responsibility, as a grown man, to be able to do things, simple things, such as remembering a date on your own!” she knew her voice was shrill, but she didn’t care at this point.

“Fine, so this is all my fault!” he shouted back at her, “it’s always my fault! Good old Roger, fucking everything up!”

“I never said that! Quit trying to make yourself the victim! I take responsibility for my actions, and if something is my fault, I’ll admit it!” she got closer to him, ready to fightt him on this. She wasn’t ready to let him get his way this time, “just man up and deal with it, Rog.”

“Wow, really, Y/N? Says the one who was so upset she went crying to Deacon? What did you tell them all? How I’m the worst person ever, how ruined everything?” he asked, wondering just how much the boys knew. He stood up and the two of them were just glaring at each other, their chests rising and falling rapidly with raggef breaths.

“I didn’t go crying to anyone,” her voice was low, and she wanted nothing more than for him to leave. She hated arguing with him. She just wanted things to be normal. She just wanted to love him, “and I didn’t tell them anything. I’m not like that, Rog, and you should know that. I told them you said you were feeling sick and we didn’t have a date. You ruined that yourself by calling Deacy. You know how that problem could have been solved? If you’d just remembered.”

“Fine,” he huffed, throwing his hands in the air, “look, I’m sorry, okay? I know I’m a shit boyfriend.”

“Where were you, Rog?” she asked quietly. She both did and didn’t want to know the answer. She didn’t know which desire was stronger, “tell me. Where were you? You weren’t with me or the boys. We saw your parents last weekend, and I know you didn’t have anything scheduled.”

“It’s nothing, Y/N,” he said firmly, avoiding her gaze, as he nervously swallowed the lump in this throat, “please just drop it.”

“If it’s nothing, then tell me,” she pushed him a little further, knowing he would eventually give in. She studied him and noticed that his lips were slightly plumper than normal. A scent clung onto him, a scent that she didn’t recognize as his or hers. The lightest of bruises covered his neck, “why are you avoiding the question?”

“Why are you making such a big deal out of nothing?” he sighed as he tried to push past her, but she grabbed his wrist and didn’t let him go, “Y/N.”

“Tell me, Roger. If it’s nothing you can tell me. You’re my boyfriend, we’re supposed to be able to tell anything,” her voice was small as she tried to keep from crying. She was almost positive she had her answer.

“Oh? Then tell me, girlfriend, why won’t you admit you’re in love with Deacon?” his voice was laced with venom as he turned to face her. Her mouth dropped open at the shock of the sudden question. She hadn’t been expecting that, “now you’re all quiet? I can see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you.”

“Because I love you, you stupid idiot,” she shouted back at him, a hurt expression on her face. He knew, how did he know? Even if she had never admitted it, even to herself, she knew the feelings for John were there. She had never even said them out loud though.

But she loved Roger. She knew she loved him too, just to what extent was the question. She struggled to bite back her tears, “I love you. I chose you, Roger. After all those time you tried to ask me out, I said yes. To you. And I still chose you every day.”

“Well, I love you too,” he sighed, wishing he could take back his words. He didn’t mean to upset her, he hated seeing her upset. But sometimes the words were hard to hold back. He still had that Taylor temper, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You still haven’t answered my question,” she said quietly, and he threw his back, whether in annoyance or exasperation, she wasn’t sure. But she wasn’t wavering from getting an answer. It was the least she deserved, “tell me where you where. Please.”

“I’m sorry,” was all he choked as he looked back at her. His eyes were glassy and she knew what he meant. Unfortunately, the words were not foreign to her - several men in the past had told her the same things, “I’m so sorry, my love. It didn’t mean anything, I swear. It was an accident-”

“It was an accident?” she was somewhere between laughter and crying as she echoed his words. That was a new one.

“Y/N, I swear it was,” he said as he tried to pull her in his arms. A few hot spilled down her cheeks as she smacked his arm and took a step back from her, “baby, please.”

“No,” she all but whispered, “don’t call me that right now. Roger, how could you do this? You don’t just sleep with someone by accident. It doesn’t work like that! It’s not like slipping and falling. It takes effort to do that.”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen. She was just there, and I had a few drinks, and then next thing I knew-”

“So you were just out day drinking, met a girl, and fucked her?” his excuse was so pathetic. Once she said it out loud, it just made her laugh, a sad, strangled sound, “you know, Roger, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Why were you even drinking during the day? You had rehearsal earlier today and then what? You just went to the bar?”

“It was a meeting, honestly.”

“A meeting?” she scoffed, “where were the others then?”

“I was meeting with someone about my set up, it doesn’t involve the others,” he closed his eyes, regretting every single action he had taken. He shouldn’t have given in so easily. He should have known better.

“Huh, okay. But that doesn’t excuse any of this,” her vision was cloudy now, “I just...I don’t understand. Why? I’ve never asked you for much Roger, the only thing I’ve ever asked was that you don’t do this. Exactly this. And yet that’s what you did.”

“I’m so, so, sorry, my love,” he sunk down on his knees as he pleaded with her. He put his hands around her waist and held her close, his head resting on her hips. His voice was thick as he too starting crying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t...I shouldn’t done this. Please, please forgive me. I love you so much, Y/N.”

“Please leave,” she said quietly, trying to pry out of his iron grip, “I don’t want to be around you right now. You broke my heart, Rog.”

“Y/N, please-”

“I got up this morning, a smile on my face because of you. I spent my day excited because, getting all dressed up, because you promised to take me on a nice date. I sat there by myself, like an idiot, stood up again. Then you have the audacity to show up at my house, smelling like another woman and covered in hickies, trying to make me the bad guy?”

“I don’t even know how to begin to apologize,” he looked at her pathetically from the floor, his own face red and splotchy, “words cannot describe the magnitude of the mistake I made.”

“Then why did you do it?” she covered her face with her hands, “if you know it was wrong, then why? There’s a lot...a lot of steps to take in between seeing someone and having sex with them, especially if you know it’s wrong. You could have stopped yourself. If you wanted to have sex, you could have come to me. You know that! But you still chose to go through with your actions. Now we both have to deal with that.”

“Can you ever forgive me?” he looked at her with wide, innocent eyes, gnawing on his own lips, “please. I love you so much, Y/N.”

“Did you think about how much you loved me when you were fucking another woman?” she hissed at him, going over to door and hastily pulling it open. No more words came out of her mouth as just closed her eyes and pointed into the hallway, “or were you just busy thinking about chasing your own high the whole time? Whatever it was, I hope it is was worth it.”

“Y/N,” her name rolled off his tongue like a prayer, like it was the only thing he had left in the world, “please. Don’t leave me. I need you. I love you.”

“Just go,” she was almost begging him at this point. All she wanted was to be alone and have a good cry, “if you love me, even remotely, please go.”

He got up slowly, heading out the door at a languid pace, waiting for her to break the tension and tell him that she still loved him, “please say this isn’t over. Please, I’ll do anything.”

“I’m not making any promises right now,” she moved to close the door, “I’m not in the right headspace to be making any decisions right now.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow?” it was a last minute desperate plea.

“We’ll see,” was all she said as she closed the door, listening to it click shut before quickly locking the door. Keeping an ear at it, she listened for his retreating footsteps. After a few minutes, she heard Roger slowly leave, and she allowed herself to slid down the door, crying silently.

Her pity party was cut sort when she heard her phone start to ring, the noise seeming too loud in the sad, lonely apartment. Pulling herself up, she slowly made her way over to the phone, desperately hoping that it wasn’t Roger from a payphone.

“Hello?” she asked quietly, trying to keep her sniffling down.

��Y/N? What’s wrong?” it was John of course, just like clock work. Just like he knew.

“Nothing,” she lied, putting to keep herself calm, “nothing at all. What’s up? It’s a little late to be calling, isn’t it?”

“I wanted to make sure you got home okay,” he responded, a note of concern in his voice, “you were upset when you left. And you still sound...not so great. Are you sure everything’s fine, love bug?”

“Everything’s fine, Deacy,” the lies were coming easily now, “it’s just late and I”m tried.”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes.“

“Call me if you need anything at all,” his voice was soft and sweet and she desperately wished he was there with her right now. He always knew just what to say, “Love you.”

“Goodnight John,” she murmured at him, hanging up before he could say anything else. Her heart was heavy with so many emotions, and confused feelings, her mind racing with a million different thoughts. It was all too much, and yet not enough, all at the same time. Right now all she wanted was sleep.

Maybe the world would look better tomorrow. Maybe.

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tinytouristtakessf-blog · 4 years

Text

The last chapter in SF

Jan 25th, 2020.

An Introduction.

In 2017, Jess was introduced to our quiet, oversized, and mainstream lives... Little did we know, that everything was about to change. The winds swirled overhead as she landed and within a couple weeks our loud, mini, hippie-witch-grandma-babe became ingrained in our lives!

Coming in hot with a list of must-see, -try, -listen, -taste, -climb items for SF, Jess managed to keep us busy trying new things and living our best fun-sized life.

In honor of one chapter coming to a close (and another very exciting one just beginning!!), we want to take a look back at some of the beautiful moments you’ve helped us create! Thank you for being a part of our lives in San Francisco, and we are so excited and proud of you for making big moves across the seas in New Zealand! Don’t forget us and please come back to re-visit your San Francisco community soon 😻

Love,

Everyone

Credit: (always) Inspired by the TinyTourist

2017

Let’s take a walk down memory lane back to 2017...

Enter 2017… when some of us all met Jess Tilles for first time. Something we may be too old to do but in our early 20s we were able to stick through 9 hours of drinking. Santa Con was the day into the night we were all obliterated… but Santas and mistletoe and FUN! We all look very youthful, oh what a few years in SF has done to our age. It was also one of the first and last times we all decided to go out in the Marina, and then proceed to eat Italian Homemade food. The beginning of an era!

Meanwhile at work... Jess quickly becomes a driving force of work parties with Holmes (and Eva and Jess discover they are both proponents of Bell sleeves). Of course Jess=where the party @ after having met most of the team at a highly questionable night tearing up the Castro prior Olga’s birthday.

Celebrating big moves to the bay, Jess, Shiri, and Leeza united in the gorgeous SF winter on Hattie St Balcony (a local’s hidden gem). It was then that Leeza and Jess instantly realized they were meant to meet and pursue all the best indie-folk-hippie music together. The rest of the concert saga is history!

2018

March 2018

Jess and Leron feeling lucky on St. Patty’s day by wearing all black and going against the mainstream in classic Jess fashion.

April 2018

Jess and Eva jamtfo to Penguin Prison at at their favorite SF venue, The Independent on Eva’s bday. They groove from the front row where Jess has zero obstacles blocking her line of site. Eva gets to hold the gee-tar.

Parisa's first day in SF! A messy deep dish experience could only be ended with a super fun barcade.

August 2018

For many of us, it was our very first overnight backpacking trip that hot summer weekend in July. Leeza had on the heaviest pack and powered ahead of the group (per usual), while the rest of us fumbled behind. We all kept enthusiasm high and it was a glorious moment when we 1) dipped into the freezing cold water at the end of day one and 2) when we finally took our packs, shoes and socks off at the end of the hike, and we all agreed that we would not do that trail again if someone paid us a million fat ones. Such a memorable trip- it was a great shared bonding experience for us to be out exploring in nature, and struggling together but ultimately powering through. Caroline was peeing every 20 minutes of the hike as usual, Leron was making interesting jokes and Shiri and Jess kept our spirits high!

Jess has her first grown woman trip to LA with Eva. They stay in Sunset Junction (Micheltorena stairs pictured) and have a romantic werk wife stay at the legendary Casa Crawford Airbnb, where their room doesn’t lock and they share a bathroom with the elderly spooky owner. Highlights include swan boating on Echo Park Lake, yoga at Equinox, eating at Mh Zh and Sqirl, unwinding at Wi Spa, crashing a mansion party in the Hollywood hills, and celebrating Lauren’s 30th birthday. Jess also very much enjoys catching up with a friend in Venice Beach.

In spring 2018, Jess made moves in the city to make friends and become ~sporty~ with Shiri in the Play Recess league. Striking the perfect balance between minimal coordination and slap-cup, we learned to destroy the competition in what really counts! Culminating in an ultimate scavenger hunt debacle, Spinelli led the group to victory! (Not actually sure if we completed the scavenger, but the memories we do have were definitely winners :) ).

October 2018

Halloweenies with our favorite Grandmama. Photographed left to right: Grandmama (Jess), Wednesday (Caroline), thing (Cole), Gomez (Leron), Morticia (Shiri), Lurch (Jack) and Pugsley (Jacob)

In the spooky month of October 2019, the Fulton Fam got together to throw our first rager - an extravagant Addams family party. Thanks to the creative inspiration of the group, we were able to pull off some spooky vibes, including spider webs, grey hair, ridiculous mustaches, and more.

Late 2018 marked the beginning of the Fulton house era- too many nights sitting around watching Fort Night, debating Zinc in double-blind tests, and hundreds more conversations that none of us can remember… We will never forget the eclectic energy Jess brought into the Fulton house. The large batches of pasta & pesto she cooked and the lotions & soaps she brewed up. Brew hahah. As the first alumnus of the Fulton house, Jess has since ventured out to #adult in her 2 bedroom apartment in Nob Hill.

Before Jess left us, we had one last BirthRight hoorah with Jacob’s new friends. There was a peculiar guy making brisket in our oven, and handing samples around like a Costco on a Saturday afternoon. Shiri infamously used her photoshop skills to crop the beloved Leron Gil into the house party he missed. Good times!

December 2018

How could we forget the numerous ski trips in 2019 with Jess? There were so many weekends bopping around down the slopes in Heavenly, Kirkwood and North Star. On this specific photographed trip, Jess and Caroline celebrated their birthdays with a weekend getaway to Northstar. Too much Secret Hitler was played. Things got wild. Other board games were forced upon us (lol). But looking back it was a great time hanging with friends, drinking champagne on the mountain and blasting some groovy tunes down the mountain.

Over the holidays, Chinese food is a tradition… a very delicious meal at Koi Palace! While living in Fulton, there was a 2 month hiatus where just Jess, Caroline and Jacob occupied the house. Some like to call that period of time “the cleanest time of Fulton”, others call bullshit. The three bonded over diverging political opinions, bitching about who never cleaned their dishes and doing korean face masks.

2019

January 2019

Ringing in the New 2019 Year in San Francisco with a large group of our friends was quite the experience! Great to celebrate together together at the boom boom room with some live music (but also not great that the window got smashed 😂)

One of Jess’s many ascents at Mission Cliffs! Go Jess send it!

Only Jess and her gleaming charisma could rally coworkers to see a concert AND have work pay for our HH drinks (thanks for the sus hand-written receipt for expensing, @Madrone Art Bar). We saw her beloved Magic City Hippies at The Independent which was funky and upbeat Miami vibes all around. Also pictured are Mary and Georgine who are/soon working in New Zealand as well.

February 2019

Always remember the earplugs! Jess knows how to concert.

March 2019

Soccer moms go to Warby Parker. Epic picture and times of Jess with the Fulton boys.

April 2019

A new(ish) face joined the Holmes Fire SF team- finally Jess and Irene’s LDR was over! This was our first team building activity as a new group and with Jess in charge of course we ended up climbing!

Celebrating Eva’s Birthday with a fun rooftop HH at El Teco on a sunny spring day!

Jess, Eva and Irene order frozen pina coladas and take in the views before a Mission bar crawl of sorts, closing nice and early with burritos from El Farolito.

May 2019

Hanging out at the top of the SalesForce tower. Pro tip, bring a structural engineer for some great commentary.

Bay to Breakers with team eggs and team hippies (aka Jess’s typical aesthetic)!

Always discussing the most important topics at work- like water bottle sticker placement! #bigdecisions

July 2019

One of the best Holmes site visits ever!!

Jess and Eva drive up North for a wine country getaway they won a while back at a silent auction. En route they plow through La Croix cans, have a rad lunch in Sebastopol and dip their feet in the picturesque Russian River. Early evening, they taste and tour facilities at Moshin Vineyards in Forestville (shout outs to that delightfully dry pinot noir rosé) before stargazing (ft. skunk!) and cozying up in a cabin suite with the movie Sideways. The next day, they have a beautiful morning walk by the vineyards. By way of Jess’ parents, they land in Ronald McDonald’s home for a private tasting. Jess learns she loves fruit-forward wines!

September 2019

The second infamous backpacking trip! **GIRLS TRIP**!!!! The time we thought it’d be smart to not get camping food and cook kraft mac and cheese with no microwave. What it came out to be was a big bowl of cheese goop, with Ella, Anna, Olaf and unicorn characters drowned in there. A big SHOUTOUT to Marie for pulling through with the fancy face creams and sharing with the group, us talking about waxing *ahem* body parts and again, Leeza leading the charge with Foxy! At night, we laid out on the benches and stared up at the stars - the night was so clear! We couldn’t stop laughing over things I can no longer remember… except about discovering the world was indeed not flat. Once again, Caroline likely peed 20 times total, and was coughing and heaving (sorry for being sick!) 😅

Jess and Eva get weird in Portland! Where they sip rooftop beers, frolick in the Nike HQ ( a mass timber wonderland), meet Big Foot and Krampus, procure free passes to a saucy community event, dance to 80s music at a goth bar/visit crusty dive bars, have a prime strawberry cough (and beanie) experience @ Electric Lettuce, savor prime Bamboo sushi, and Jess gets a cute ass tragus piercing. Throughout the trip Jess wears a lot of black to Eva’s delight #moody #angsty. On their walks to the Portland office, Jess appreciates the changing fall leaves and residential neighborhoods, feeling reminded of home on the East Coast.

Just another amazing Jill Hike ;)

October 2019

OK - San Francisco was filled with challenges… and Tough Mudder was one of them! Although we found out that at the end of the race - you would be electrocuted - we persisted. We - as a team - got through to the finish line. So proud of everyone for completing the race! Although Caroline was the only one who copped out of electric shock. The number of times we dunked into mud baths and climbed 10 ft walls…

Jess’s favorite time of the year and a visit from Tariq! Jess and Eva decorated the whole office to look super ~spooky~ON ANOTHER LEVEL (featuring creepy clown photos, hella cobwebs and caution tape, bloody stickers, and of course fake plastic bugs) and organized a halloween bar crawl around North Beach (@ Maggie McGarrie’s and Tupelo)!

November 2019

A big fan of live music, Jess is a great Concert buddy. Always down to explore new music and venues! This was such a fun bonding night where we got greyhounds, beers, caught up on life and danced at Polo & Pan. So fun!

Proxima Parada at Milk Bar birthday concert where Jess got a shout-out from the band! ft. a blurry instagram story and classic typos. Prior, the whole squad turns up at Hobson’s Choice over punch bowls.

HP marathon or studying for PE? Well! let's master both!

December 2019

One of the best days in December was unexpected. It started out with a simple brunch plan but ended in a full day of activities!! New spot on polk was where Jess and Maries’ friendship began and continued to blossom!

After having an amazing meal (great eggs benedict) and hours of catching up we decided to walk back to our houses together (since we are neighbors!!). Jess was excited to see Marie’s new couch (that was 50% off hehe) and decided to come over. Kap, Jess and Marie did a long (super difficult) puzzle (connected a few pieces) and watched netflix. We order Thai food (Kap ordered us cookies) and we relaxed all day. It was a special day where the three of us reminisced about San Francisco and all of our time here. It was a day no one wanted to end!!

Holmes Holiday Party- Jess’s favorite drink was the beet cocktail 😉

Cozy three course italian dinner with wine at 3pm! Best part of the afternoon was my hot date, Jess ;)

Jess and her neighborhood park (shoutout to nob hill, the real MVP) winning Shiri over with its views on views.

January 2019

On one of Jess’s final few Tahoe ski weekends, she SENT IT down a black diamond on her first weekend back of the season. Harrison found a great photo opp for Jess, Marie and Caroline against the Xtreme advanced only sign. The weekend was filled with playing Mafia, jamming to tunes down the slope, exploring Squaw valley, having some nice Apres Ski, and getting fed some good, slow-cooked food (haha!).

[JESS, INSERT YOUR PHOTOS FROM THE LAST WEEKEND IN SF!!!]

NOTES FROM YOUR BIFFLES TO SEND YOU OFF <3

Dear Jess,

Thank you for entering into my life and being saggitarius soulmates. I love that we are on the same page about so many things - planning, me-time, boys (kinda), beards, skiing, tardiness, traveling, being avoidant, being wholesome and SO MUCH MORE. I’m so happy we bonded over the last couple years we’ve known each other. I miss all the times I would knock on your door and catch up while you marie kondo-d your entire closet. Thank you for pushing me in new and different ways which you may not have realized (like forcing me to vote) and inspiring me to do good with the environment (hehe).

You are kind-hearted, loyal, so brave and bold and I’m so proud of you for going out on this adventure to New Zealand!! I will miss you lots in San Francisco and miss the ridiculous random shit we would laugh at during out ski trips or cooking or when we could catch up at home. Thank you for always listening whenever I felt like blabbing on and helping keep me grounded. So excited to visit New Zealand and can’t wait to explore! Plz don’t forget all the great memz we had in SF!!

Love you lots XOXO

Caroline

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Jess!!! We have done it all together and now we can add New Zealand to that list too! I’m so glad that we got to overlap in SF and I had you here to show me to ropes. I can’t wait to follow your kiwi adventures and see all the fun things you do.

Love you lots!!

Xoxo

Irene

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JESSICA. My favorite small person to kiss on the head. I am so glad we could bond over our love of funky music and skiing. I’ll always be here to make sure you don’t look like an egg on the ski slopes and can’t wait to visit you and your Kiwi men soon. You are a sweet, funny, life of the party small person who’s going to find so much success and kiwi men in NZ. Love you so much, and may the yearly backpacking live on!

-Leez

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Dear Jess, You are such a sweet soul that is thoughtful and cares about everyone around you. I’m so thankful I had the opportunity to meet ya (ty shiri!!) and get to know you over the last year and a half. I always have so much fun on our walks, breakfast dates, or ski trips (and so much more). I’m so extremely happy for you to be following your dreams (and a lil sad that we won’t be neighbors anymore). I can’t wait to come visit ya and enjoy more adventures together! Love ya, Marie!!

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Jess - I love seeing how far we’ve come since our truss-ty mechanics class, traveling across the country and seeking out all the best from life! Although your soul belongs in a hippy world, I know you will find your people and place no matter where you land (just keep being YOU). New Zealand is lucky to be getting the tiniest force around. You will certainly be missed, but know that I’m just a WhatsApp message (or a quick flight!) away :). Excited for the tiny tourist travels ahead <3

Love, Shiri

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Blonde Meets Brunette. Relatively Tall Meets Considerably Short. East Coast Meets West Coast. Engineering Major Meets Fine Arts Major. Happy Music Meets Sad Music. On paper we might come across as opposites, but internally and emotionally I am so grateful for the rich grey areas and nuances we’ve discovered that we contain. The odds were slim for us to cross paths in this big ol’ universe,and I’m so grateful we found each other to help tame and ground the ups and downs of being-in-your-twenties. You have been a guiding, real, and empowering force since Day 1, and you’ve taught me so much. I can’t wait to see all you accomplish in this new chapter and far beyond! ALL the love to the best work wife there ever was.

Eva Slusser

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Yo,

Glad we have been able to go on a bunch of snowy adventures. Look forward to visiting your weird kiwi fire life sometime and I'm sorry I always assumed you were the mafia.

-Dave

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Jess,

It was great getting to know you even if it was only for a short amount of time. Will always remember you bombing it down that double black diamond at squaw, the hike in Berkeley, and the constant disapproving looks sent my way.

GO PRO CAPTURE

- H

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Jess!! Thank you for being the kindest soul your are. I enjoyed every bits and pieces of our friendship from Stas' lab to smoke control class to getting to bond more here in SF.

Can't wait to follow the tiny tourist adventures through this new kiwi chapter. Auckland is lucky to have you!

Love you and see you soon!

Parisa

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This post serves as written confirmation that I have previously stated thank you and please and no longer require these societal norms to be restated. Once I see you in New Zealand, reside in your dwelling and depart back to San Francisco, I will not provide a thank you note. I expect the same from you.

See you soon,

Leron

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Jess - We will miss you, but having a friend leave SF is easier when you know theres great adventures ahead for them. I’m excited for all your NZ adventures, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. Keep us in the loop and I look forward to seeing you in the future.

-jacob

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hjbender · 5 years

Note

how would thor handle it if loki told him he wants to stay with the grandmaster cause he takes good care of him

Ooh, ouch, my heart—but a very intriguing scenario. (Here is the current list of Angstmaster Saga ficlets.)

If this were to happen and Loki never mouthed the words “Save us” to Thor, but instead led El away with a distressed look on his face, I could see Thor eventually sneaking back to Sakaar as soon as possible and trying to get close to the Grandmaster’s inner circle without being recognized. He attends parties and fights and races and other gaming venues but can never seem to get close enough to Loki to catch his eye. The Grandmaster keeps armed bodyguards around his family 24/7, and then there are the throngs of fans and admirers that Thor must elbow through (but not too earnestly; he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself). And of course, the paparazzi.

They’ve been gaga about Loki, whom they call “The Grandmistress”, ever since he was brought back to Sakaar and crowned Bae and First Baby Mama before a cheering crowd of thousands. They always publish articles and glamorous photos of Loki—only good things, of course, because the Grandmaster will melt anyone who criticizes his lovely consort—and rave about his style and fashion sense and what a great mum he is. Some of the more zealous Sakaarans get plastic surgery, tattoos, and dye injections in their skin to look like their jötunn idol. It’s a life of opulence, admiration, attention, wealth, and fame for Loki, who has even grown to like En. The man may be a self-centered, pleasure-seeking philanderer, a murderous, despotic dictator, but this is the most stable and content Loki has ever been in his life. He is accepted here on Sakaar. Loved. Adored. And the Grandmaster is a good father, even if his parenting style leaves much to be desired. He spoils El too much and leaves Loki to be the sole disciplinarian, and encourages all sorts of bad habits that Loki must correct. But it’s really no worse than the average parent.

Better than his own father, Loki thinks bitterly.

Thor finally succeeds in getting close to Loki at a club one night. Loki recognizes Thor in the VIP lounge and waves him through the several layers of bodyguards separating them. “It’s alright,” he tells them. “I know this man. He was a former servant of mine. His character is unquestionable. Let him come.”

Thor warily slides into the plush velvet seat beside Loki and tells him in an excited whisper that he has a plan to get him off of Sakaar. And by using the Time and Reality stones, they can set a trap for the Grandmaster that will erase Loki from his memory—permanently.

“You will be free,” says Thor, grasping Lok’s jewelry-adorned hand and grinning. “You can come home.”

But Loki doesn’t smile. He swallows and slips his hand from Thor’s, rubs his belly pensively. “Yes, I can… but I’m somebody here, Thor,” he says in a distant voice. “I’m not just a jötunn runt or the god of thunder’s mischievous, untrustworthy brother. I’m not a failure and a traitor to these people. I don’t have to hide behind illusions anymore. I can be who I am. Nobody on Sakaar cares about my past or what I’ve done. No one is clamoring for justice for the things I did on Midgard or Jötunheim—”

“Those things can be made right again,” Thor insists. “It will take time and effort, and I can’t promise it will be easy or painless, but it is possible for you to earn back our people’s trust, and then we can—”

“You don’t understand, I’m done struggling, Thor!” Loki snarls. His voice is angry but there are tears in his eyes. Thor goes quiet. “That’s all I’ve done since I was born! Struggle and scrape for validation, for love, for equality!”

Thor’s shoulders slump, his heart pricked with the sharp, cold knife of truth. He remembers those words Loki spoke. He remembers them very well. I only ever wanted to be your equal.

Loki goes on. “I’ve spent my whole life scratching and clawing for the things that were simply given to you. You have no idea what it’s like to forever be the second best, the least favorite. The suspect. The villain. Your life was one of privilege and acceptance, of trust that you never had to earn—and you expect me to come back to that same life and work even harder to earn what should have been mine from the beginning? To bleed myself dry just to be seen as your equal?” Loki takes a breath to calm himself. He is very pregnant and gets easily winded. “I am tired of fighting this war, brother,” he says softly. “I will not win it. You were right, this is where I belong.”

“On this trash planet?” Thor mutters. “Worshipped by whoremongers and fools, with that perverted madman raising your children?”

“Better to reign in Hel than serve in Valhalla, as they say.”

A tense, painful silence falls for several moments. The bassline of an upbeat electronic song thumps in the air between them. Lights flash, partygoers laugh and dance and drink colorful cocktails.

“So that’s it, then,” says Thor finally. “You’re going to stay here. You’re going to stay with him.”

“He cares for me.”

Thor gazes at Loki with his mismatched eyes. “But he doesn’t love you. Not like I do.”

Loki smiles sadly and touches Thor’s cheek. “No. But he has offered me something that you cannot. A clean slate. Security. Stability. A chance at a normal life… or what passes for normal here.”

“Right.” Thor’s eyes drift down to Loki’s wrists, at the wide, thin gold bands clasped close to his skin. The cuffs with alien symbols etched onto them. “And I suppose giving up your seidr is part of the new normal, too.”

“I don’t need my magic here.”

“Your magic is a part of you, Loki. It always has been. You were meant to wield it.”

“Perhaps the old Loki did,” he says coldly. “The Loki who wore the illusion of an Asgardian and had no other strengths or skills. The Loki who was forced to lie and deceive and cast glamors in order to make something of himself. No, that Loki is gone.”

After a tense pause, Thor nods. “Indeed, he is.”

A small voice suddenly rings out across the lounge: “Mumma!”

Thor watches Loki’s face immediately light up with happiness, and feels his soul shrivel into a sad, dried-out husk. A moment later El Vee Gast crawls into their booth and up onto his mother’s lap.

“Oof, darling, there isn’t much room left there!” Loki laughs. “Here, sit beside Mumma like a big boy. There we are.”

Thor stares hollowly as Loki, radiating an effortless maternal air, sets his son beside him and combs his tousled black hair from his eyes. “Is Daddy almost done playing?”

El nods. “He wanted me to ask if you wanna eat at home tonight or go out tonight.” His accent sounds a lot like the Grandmaster’s. “But can we stay home? I wanna make pïcza with Daddy again. That was fun last time.”

“That’s an excellent idea, darling. I’m sure he’ll like that.”

“But no peppers because little sister doesn’t like ‘em, right?” El pats Loki’s round belly and looks up at him with a happy smile.

Loki chuckles. “No, no peppers for us.”

El then notices Thor and get quiet, pressing shyly against Loki’s side. “Who’s that man?” he murmurs warily.

“This is—” Loki hesitates, turning to Thor with an anxious face. Thor shakes his head slightly: no names. Loki puts on a false smile and pets his son’s head. “It’s nobody, darling. Just someone Mumma used to know.”

Thor doesn’t expect those words to hurt as much as they do. It feels as if all his insides have been ripped out of him and nothing is left but an empty coat of skin.

“Go tell Daddy we’re staying home for dinner tonight,” says Loki, ushering El off the seat and nodding to his child’s bodyguard—a huge Kôrvian—who follows the scampering boy to his destination.

Loki picks up his fancy glass and drains the rest of his sparkling blue drink in a single gulp. “I have to be going now.” He awkwardly slides out of the rounded booth and struggles to stand; Thor is by his side in a moment, grasping his hand and helping him up. “Ngh, thank you,” Loki grunts.

“You’re welcome.”

For a moment they look at each other’s faces: Thor’s, heartbroken and hurting. Loki’s, solemn and steady. Then Loki offers up a melancholy smile, squeezes Thor’s hand, and leans in close.

“If he catches you here, he’ll arrest you,” he says under his breath. “And if he catches you with me, he’ll kill you. Don’t come back.” He quickly kisses his brother’s cheek. “Goodbye, Thor.” Then he turns and glides away, flanked by half a dozen bodyguards.

Thor stands there, tears shining in both his eyes, and watches Loki walk out of his life forever.

#i hurt myself today #ask bender #thorki #frostmaster #hjbwrites #hjbendergifs #loki #thor #en dwi gast #grandmaster #sakaar #thor ragnarok #endgame edit #dubcon #mpreg #thorklet #angstmaster

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zdbztumble · 5 years

Text

Final Thoughts: KH III (Spoilers)

OK, the nice stuff’s over with.

And, in the spirit of Kingdom Hearts, here’s a menu to unceremoniously dump all the necessary information on you to follow this post:

Rave Zero

A Minor Rant

More Ranting

Botching Backwards and Forwards

But What About Kairi

Build a Better Prequel

Penultima Raving

The Positives

Now then...

Writing critiques like this is usually fun for me. I like thinking about and analyzing narratives, as mental exercise and relaxation, and because I find it helpful as a writer struggling to make fiction my profession. Finding the good and bad in a piece, understanding why something works or doesn’t, and putting myself in the shoes of a writer - particularly one in the middle of an ongoing series - improves my own craft and gives me more empathy and sympathy for creatives who come under fire.

In this case, though, I can’t say that I have much in the way of sympathy or empathy. I cannot understand how any head of story could come up with something like this and decide that it was ready for prime time. I can’t understand how writers brought in to do the actual scripting wouldn’t speak up about its issues. I can’t understand how editors, producers, and executives would sign off on this. And by “this,” I mean the finale of KH III. I haven’t loved the story turns this series has taken since the end of II, and I’ve struggled to make sense of all the convoluted turns the plot has taken, but this - or, to be specific, one moment in particular - is completely beyond my ability to understand, relate to, or tolerate.

Before getting to that one moment, though, there are other issues with this finale. One of those is the problem of paying off too large a cast: it’s almost impossible to do while giving every character a satisfying conclusion. By the time the game comes to its conclusion, most of the characters have either hit dead ends in their arcs, petered out, or been demonstrated to be entirely superfluous to this game’s plot. To wit:

- Maleficent and Pete could have been cut entirely and nothing would have been lost. Cutting them would even improve the pacing of the Olympus world slightly. Their whole goal amounts to nothing but a tease for an item that might become important in a potential future game. Luxord’s quest for a “chest,” presumably the same Black Box, has the same problem, but at least Luxord is a part of the Organization and so has some reason for being in the story.

- Ansem the Wise is ultimately on-hand just to tease more potential future events and characters, in the form of allusions to a mysterious girl who I thought might be Kairi, then thought was Xion, but is apparently some other character never before mentioned (thank you @themattress.) I bought KH III to play and know the story of KH III; if I wanted an extended trailer for a future game that may not even get made, I’d pay for one.

- Those members of the Organization who don’t defect, and who commanded quite a bit of screen time in this game (more than the damn tritagonist did) are virtually unchanged from their previous appearances, still serve as glorified henchmen, and meet largely identical ends. The attempts at pathos with them, particularly with Larxene, ring hollow, and the idea that the recompletion gimmick might let them appear again some day in a new form is...unpleasant.

- Did you really need Ienzo and Vexen both? Take either one of them out, and the other could have cooked up the necessary replicas.

- Axel’s never-seen training with a Keyblade amounts to almost as little as Kairi’s, as he ultimately doesn’t do much but serve as an impetus for the return of Roxas and the defection of Xion. And once those two are back on the scene, they don’t have all that much to do but point their keys at whatever the group needs them to. Their presence takes us over the required number of seven, so they are quite literally unnecessary.

- Vanitas and his quest to assimilate Ven ultimately amounts to nothing, for how important it was in BbS and his continued seeking it here. He becomes just another boss battle, destined to fade away.

- Aside from filling out the full seven, Aqua and Ven don’t get all that much to do in the battle. Terra and Sora do the heavy lifting in getting Terra liberated, and by the end, Eraqus tells Terra to be the one to look out for the group. Not Aqua, the master who spent most of BbS trying to set things to right - Terra, the impulsive quasi-Anakin Skywalker who ended up possessed by the villain.

- Riku and Mickey are the exception to this, as I think carrying them through as Sora’s battle partners in the showdown with the three young Xehanorts, and giving them the bulk of the dialogue in the final cutscenes, gives them a meaningful role to play in the finale.

But since Eraqus has been mentioned...that leads us to the next problem. Because I still don’t understand how Eraqus managed to hide his heart inside of Terra’s (and yes, I have seen the BbS cutscene.) But setting aside the mechanics; the idea that Eraqus has been alive this whole time, that he can stop Xehanort with a gentle talking-to, and extending the metaphor of their chess game in their youth this far, makes everything that happens feel so much smaller. And giving Xehanort - a villain who was made, in looks and personality, more evil from BbS on - is a baffling choice. He isn’t the first villain to have a less-than-convincing redemption in this series, of course. And, were it done better, I might be more tolerant of it. But it isn’t.

And having that about-face brought about by Eraqus lessens Sora’s part in the finale. His brave venture after Xehanort, Donald and Goofy by his side, makes for a nice boss battle. It’s less impressive than the one in KH I IMO, but I do like that Donald and Goofy are with him for nearly the entire thing. The Trinity revival at the end of it is a great touch, though I would’ve preferred some sort of beam struggle to cap it off. But one of Sora’s qualities - one that this game, and DDD, loved to spell out as blatantly as possible - is his ability to reach and connect with people. Outsourcing that to another character, leaving Sora as the brute force in the conflict with Xehanort, leaves him and one of his most defining and positive character traits sidelined at the crucial moment. I grant you that Sora probably isn’t all that well disposed to the man who killed Kairi, but you would think he’d have some function beyond swinging his blade and holding a key.

But in the end, the apocalypse is averted, and Sora leaves his friends behind to try and save Kairi. Cue the closing cutscene, with happy endings aplenty. Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Yen Sid, Chip, and Dale get a warm welcome home in Disney Castle. Terra, Aqua, and Ven get their home back, and Ven gets his little cat thing that he apparently had once. Axel, Roxas, and Xion get their sea salt ice cream again, reunite with Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and it turns out that even Saix is on-hand (because, y’know, that bond he had with Axel was so organic and essential to pay off.) Namine is brought back (according to a recent interview, this is possible because her heart was released from Kairi’s when Kairi was killed), and Riku turns up to take her to a big party on Destiny Islands. With literally everyone on-hand, Donald is the first to notice Sora and Kairi sitting on the paopu tree together, holding hands. Kairi looks up at Sora, smiles, and starts to cry. Sora then fades away, leaving Kairi alone.

Now we’re at that moment.

I was so confused the first time I saw this scene, and watching it in the theater menu a few times didn’t help. Talking with @echidnapower about it helped me puzzle together that Sora must have paid the price for abusing the Power of Waking. It was hard to track those warnings amidst all the other pretentious monologuing and schoolyard taunting that the Organization did, and amidst all the other plot threads in this game - but, fair enough. That was some clear foreshadowing. And, just like with Kairi’s death, I can’t object to the idea out of hand. KH I ended on a shocking bittersweet note, after all. Ending the Xehanort saga, and possibly the series, with the main character failing to heed all warnings and losing his own life while managing to save the person he cares most about, is a bold idea. Pulled off properly, I’d be in tears while writing my review, but I’d be applauding the guts and skill of the creative team.

But is Sora’s quest to find Kairi made into a final stage, or even a cutscene? No. Is his final misuse of the Power of Waking shown? No. Is it even clear whether Kairi reappeared at the same time as Sora, or if she’d been there on the beach with everyone else before he turned up? No. And is any of this, in any way, made a central element of the final scene? No. The possibly permanent death of our protagonist, caused by his final solo quest to save Kairi, is such an afterthought at the end that not a single aspect of the journey to that moment merits any screen time.

And don’t tell me that this might be something covered in the DLC, or that it could be setting up for another game. If they wanted to leave Sora and Kairi’s fate more open-ended, and a potential hook into a future game, they should have been left out of the final scene altogether. The Power of Waking, Sora’s shaky control of it, and its dangers were meant to be relevant to this story. Sora and Kairi’s bond being stretched to the point that one or both of them could permanently die was meant to be a major factor in this story. I’m all for leaving certain things off-screen, open-ended, or open to interpretation, but if anything should merit some degree of resolution within this game itself, to say nothing of a goddamn cutscene, it’s the potentially final fate of our fucking hero.

It feels like such an afterthought that I’m forced to wonder why Sora was ever retained as the protagonist past KH II. One solution to the current crop of issues with Kingdom Hearts, as I’ve already gone into, would have been to simplify; fewer titles between console releases and a much less convoluted story that stayed focused on the actual leads. But it’s almost impossible not to come away from the post-II games feeling that most of the staff’s passion has drifted to other characters and elements. Axel, Roxas, and Xion; Terra, Aqua, and Ven; all the convoluted plotting and betraying and cryptic messages of Organization XIII; and now all this X business; it seems clear that that’s where the focus is now. Square Enix is no stranger to cyclic and anthology series; there was more than enough precedent to retire Sora and friends and continue Kingdom Hearts with new protagonists. Those who enjoy all these elements could have them unadulterated, and those of us who prefer Sora’s story could be content with three great games. Hell, Kingdom Hearts as a whole could’ve been retired at II, with the characters and elements most favored forming the foundation for an original series; the staff still seems jazzed to cross over with Disney, but they’ve become increasingly unable to meaningfully connect those worlds to the larger story, excepting a handful of characters from Disney Castle. An original series wouldn’t have to worry about that.

Instead, an ultimately untenable path was trod, trying to keep all of these things to play, the ultimate price being a final game to the saga that leaves every single storyline feeling less than it could be. Kairi may get the worst of it blow by blow, but I would say that Sora - the protagonist - is the second-worst hit, and that I cannot comprehend as a writer.

When I first got the feeling that something bad might happen to either Sora or Kairi, or both, I was prepared to be sad at the end of this game, but I expected to be sad the same way I was at the end of KH I - in an ultimately positive way, having been sincerely and surprisingly moved by a story I came to love. At the end of KH III, I’m sad in another way entirely; I’m sad because I feel nearly all my enthusiasm for this series evaporated along with Sora. I was planning to buy copies of I, CoM, and II to replace the ones I had to sell years ago; if I end up doing that when I have the money, it’ll be as an effort to get back to what first charmed me about the series.

Hopefully, I can still find that charm there, but I don’t know what would make me excited for future releases. What reason do I have to hope that the flaws of the recent games, culminating in III, will be corrected or even recognized as flaws? The Epilogue and Secret Movie certainly don’t give any hope. For all the talk about III being the finale to the Dark Seeker saga, the convoluted Keyblade War lore it spawned and at least one of its more annoying characters seem set to continue on. The Nameless Star and that girl alluded to by Ansem (who I hope for simplicity's sake are the same person) represent yet another new character shoved into the mix. And the Secret Movie may give some people hope for Sora, but it just left me numb.

I’ll go ahead and predict what the next game of the series, if there is one, will be, based on those two scenes: either the game is ostensibly about what Sora went through to save Kairi, with a retcon pulled to suck Riku into the mix; or, it’s set after the final scene of KH III, with Riku - not Kairi, but Riku - going in search of Sora. Either way, in practice the game’s plot will be taken up by a mess of a plot concerning the Black Box and/or the Book of Prophecies and all that crap from Kingdom Hearts X: Back Cover (a movie I could not bring myself to finish, I was so bored), all the while taking any chance it can get to salvage as much of the aborted Final Fantasy Versus XIII as possible. Kairi will be lucky to get a cameo, the Disney worlds will barely have any relevance, Maleficent will get elbowed off to the sides, and if Sora comes back to life and remains the hero, he’ll still be relegated to a spectator and an afterthought to make room for all the things that the team really cares about.

Cynical, you say? Bitter, perhaps? You’re not wrong. And I’d love for another Kingdom Hearts game to come out and make me eat crow. But for whatever joy Kingdom Hearts III brought me as a game, it’s been a truly painful experience as a story. With no pleasure, I can honestly say that in terms of a failed narrative; in terms of completely missing the mark on where the focus should lie; and in terms of feeling like an almost deliberate insult or dismissal of what made these characters and this series wonderful to begin with; no narrative with the Disney name on it, or perhaps at all, has left me so upset since Maleficent. And for me to be saying that, is saying something.

#critique #commentary #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #disney #sora #kairi #z's crits

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inqua · 7 years

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I don't mean to be a bother, and you don't have to do this if you don't feel up to it. But from what I've perceived you love Hector. So I ask of you, could you more or less provide me an analysis of Hector's character. I want to be represent Hector as accurately as possible. I'm researching the common traits between Hector and Holmes of Tear Ring Saga. Thank you for your time.

I love Hector? Nooo what could havepossibly given it away??? 😞

I gotchu fam dw, screaming about Hector is pretty muchmy default state of being. In fact, I’m flattered you asked me, though I’m not sure if I’m the best person to do this. I don’t think I’ve everwritten an elaborate character analysis before, but you know what, as a wise woman once said, I’ll… do mybest.

Hope you like reading though. Like. A lot.

(Spoilers for FE7 & FE6 under the cut)

OK, so before I start I must say most of this is just me interpretingthis character based on what—relatively—little we know about him from thegames, given that he’s always a side protagonist of sorts in comparison toEliwood, even in his own story mode. It’s also been a while since I played theElibe games so forgive me if I’m missing anything. I tried to remain asobjective as possible, though some slight bias might slip through now and thenbecause I just love FE7 and its characters… a little too much. Which alsoexplains why it got so lengthy… again… woops.

Hector… You could very well argue he’s just another gentle giant archetypecharacter. And if I’m to judge from Hector’s popularity, this is precisely whatpeople love about him, including myself. But I do think that his character goesa little deeper than just that as well. What I personally think makes this particularcharacter stand out is his relationship with his best friend Eliwood, and Iwould even go as far as to say that the dynamic between these two carry thisgame’s plot for the most part. Eliwood, as well as his other friends and lovedones, are the driving force beyond pretty much anything Hector does, if youthink about it. This is shown immediately in an early encounter with Hector: whenhe finds out Elbert is missing, he doesn’t even hesitate for a second. He hasmade up his mind: he’s going to help his friend get his father back, because it’s essential to him that he spares hisbest friend the loss of a parent, a feeling he himself knows all too well.He quite literally goes out of his way to achieve this, defying his brother’sdirect orders even though he’s probably very well aware that Uther simplywishes to protect his younger brother and last remaining family member. Hector,however, just cannot afford to lose what’s at stake and has to ignore hisbrother’s wishes. Right now, Eliwood needs his aid more than anyone, and intheir supports, Eliwood points out that he already knew that this would beHector’s choice, because of their blood oath to always come to each other’s sidewhen in need.

I’m convinced Hector is actually a way more sympathetic and emotionalperson than he lets on. In his supports with Eliwood he’s casually checking inon him to see if he’s not overworking himself, and Eliwood picks up on this andappreciates his concern. He’s also very emotionally invested in what happens toEliwood’s family, as shown in the infamous “WOOOELIWOOD!!!” scene, where Hector almost seems more excited than Eliwoodhimself when finding out that Elbert is still alive. And then when lord Elbertultimately meets his fate when they were soclose, Hector’s feelings about this unfortunately never really get explored anyfurther as far as I can recall, which is a shame, because I’m willing to betHector is blaming himself at that moment for his own inability to save hisfriend from having to go through what he went through himself after being sodamn close to pulling it off. Most likely Hector does not want to show anyemotional weakness in fear of seeming vulnerable, as is very common in thistype of character. When finding out about his own brother’s death, Hector seemsto be more upset with Oswin—and to an extent Uther himself—for hiding Uther’sillness from him, rather than about the actual death itself, which perhaps hehad seen coming already. What’s more is that he has this scene afterwards withLyn where, if I recall correctly, he still acts very standoff-ish about the entiresituation and it is Lyn who is on to hisact, and cries in his stead, depending on where they are in their supportrelationship. Beside all of this, I also think Hector acknowledges his role asthe “pacemaker” of the bunch. He knows that even in times of despair, he haspeople relying on him, and he is always the one shown trying to keep the moraleup, though through actions rather than words, because as we all know, wordshave never been his… strongest asset. An excellent example of this is of coursethe scene with Nils in the desert, where their current situation is at anabsolute low, but Hector manages to cheer Nils, Ninian and Lyn up regardless.As well as in his supports with Lyn, something similar happens when he cheersher up after she lost to him, and againLyn takes notice of Hector’s genuine concern for his allies, but of courseHector, being Hector, plays it off.

I like to think Hector’s also got somekind of intelligence hidden underneath all that muscle. Note how he’s nevercompletely oblivious to the politicalsituation, but rather he emphasises that diplomacy simply isn’t his way of settlingthings, and he would rather let either Eliwood or his axe do the talking. Thisis probably because he’s still young and doesn’t quite have a grip on his own temperamentyet, but this is also something he has tolearn along his journey if he ever wants to grow into the role of marquess.In fact, he acknowledges this himself in his story mode’s epilogue, where headmits that, indeed, he may be ill suited for this position as he is right now,and even shows little interest in it. Funny is that although Hector himselfsays this, others do seem torecognise qualities of a ruler in Hector, as in his supports with Oswin of allpeople, he compliments Hector’s true and honest character. Even so, Hector doesacknowledge that it’s something he’s just going to have to grow into, because the throne represents everythingthat was ever important to Uther, and it was entrusted to him and him only.The only thing you could conclude from the little screen time Hector gets inFE6, is that he eventually did mature into the role and accepted the responsibilitiesthat come with it; yet at the same time, he also hasn’t changed a bit when youconsider he is directly partaking in battle regardless of his social or politicalstatus. After all, Hector’s still a warrior at heart.

Life and death is a common theme with Hector’s character. Honestly, longbefore picking up the Armads Hector probably already knew he would meet his endat the battlefield, as his death quote—regardless of what point he dies atmight I add—is always something along the lines of: “not here”, implying that he knows it was something inevitable andwas likely going to happen sooner or later anyway—Armads or no Armads. Buthonestly, did Hector ever give a damn, knowing that the price he pays for it isworth it? All of this he did for his friends and family, which at this pointhave probably become one and the same. And so, in his dying words, he asks Royto take care of his daughter Lilina, because “despite her strong exterior, shedoes need a friend to support her.” Huh… Sound familiar?

Even though I’m aware the whole “dying in order to protect your lovedones” shtick is a very common shounen trait that’s been beaten to death,and that the writers had plenty of room to play with this trait given his fatein FE6, the sheer nonchalance with which Hector treats his own sacrifice, as ifit was nothing, breaks my heart every damn time. In that regard I think it isbrilliant—if not completely sadistic—to make the player emotionally invested ina character that was doomed from the start.

TL;DR: Hector makes for such a legendary character because of hisundying loyalty for his loved ones, and how determined and stubborn he is inensuring their safety. His genuine concern for his allies and the charismaticrole he takes upon himself in the army are appreciated more than he would ever takecredit for, and his underlying selflessness does not go unnoticed to thoseclosest to him. And although he may dislike his role as marquess, his brutalhonesty and recklessness might prove surprisingly useful in this position, and areboth to be admired and feared. He probably always knew he was going to meet his end on the battlefield, but frankly never gave a damn because the sacrifice was alwaysworth it to him: his loved ones would get to live. To put it quite promptly:Hector is all you could every wish for in a best friend, and that’s exactly howhe was written.

That is how I interpret him and why I like him at least… I honestlydon’t think I’ve said anything new about his character that hasn’t been saidbefore, but I hope I did him justice regardless.

Anyway, thanks for putting up with the long read. This was like. 2+ pages lmao

#loptyrofjugdral #hector #fire emblem #blazing blade #fe7 #fe #ask #inquask #text #long post #the rumor come out: inqua loves hector #it was fun researching tho. learned a lot AND made myself sad. a very productive day indeed #i know absolutely 0 about the tear ring saga tho but gl

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diversegaminglists · 7 years

Text

Games with on-screen kisses

Should be considered story spoilers (except for maybe dating sims), so browse at your own peril.

On-screen means a visible kiss on the lips, in-engine, cutscene or, in the case of visual novels, CG art. Games with descriptions of kisses in text only do not count.

This is far from complete but I think I’ve got most of the obvious ones, as always, suggestions and corrections encouraged (but no suggestions for games featuring unavoidable rape please).

I could really use more examples for the M/M only section as it’s currently mostly porn games in there (where all the smoochy games at?). :/

M/F:

Akatsuki No Goei (M/F)(Hentai game)(CG)(Translation patch)

Always Remember Me (Otome CG)

Alpha Protocol (Several kisses with optional romances as leads into fade-to-black sex scenes.)

Amagami (CG)(Translation patch)

Aquaria (Naija and Li)

Assassin’s Creed 3 (Kenway and Kaniehtí:io/Ziio, Myriam and Norris )

Assassin’s Creed 2 (Ezio and Cristina)

Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood (Ezio and Caterina)

Assassin’s Creed: Unity

Batman: Arkham Knight (Batman and Catwoman)

Binary Domain (Dan and Faye)

Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars (George kisses Nicole while she is tied up and she gives him a rightful bollocking for taking advantage, but later forgives him.)

Brütal Legend (Eddie and Ophalia)

Catherine (Anime style cutscenes)

Contract Marriage (CG)

Dandelion (CG)

The Darkness (Jacky and Jenny)

Dead Rising 3 (Nick and Annie)

Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories (In the good ending Adell and Rozalin smooch, CG art)

Dra+Koi (M/F)(CG)(Hentai)(Translation patch)

ef - a fairy tale of the two (dating sim, cg art)

Enchanted in the Moonlight (CG)

Fahrenheit aka Indigo Prophecy (Two optional, one unskippable, two leading into terrible sex scenes, one of which involves QTE thrusting, because of course it does it’s David Cage.)

Final Fantasy VIII (Rinoa and Squall finally smooch in the ending cutscene)

Final Fantasy X (Story cutscene while flying around in a magical lake, very Japanese.)

Final Fantasy XIII (Snow and Sera)

Final Fantasy XV (Noctis and Luna)

GoldenEye (James Bond and Natalya)

Hakuōki Franchise (Otome game)(CG)

Heavy Rain (depends on what choices you pick but they’re all awkward and creepy in context anyway)

Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis (In the middle of a fight Indiana smooches Sophia, how rude!)

Kaleidoscope Dating sim 1 & 2 (CG)

KatawaShoujo (Hentai game, CG art)

Kissed by the baddest bidder (CG)

LEGO Batman (Batman and Catwoman)

Lego Batman 3 (Poison Ivy)

Lord of the Rings: The Third Age (seemingly out of nowhere romance plots with very little build up or logic but does have awkward ps2 facesmushing)

Max Payne 2 (Max and Mona)

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (Snake and Eva before a sexy time)

Metel Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (Meryl and Johnny)

Metro PD: Close to You (Otome, CG)

Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor (Press X to kiss your wife)

My Guardian Angel (CG)

My Sweet Proposal (CG)

Nameless: That One Thing You Must Recall (CG)

Nicole (CG)(I believe F/F content might be planned in the future)

Office Lover (CG)

Onimusha 2 (Oyu & Jubei)

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (Story cutscenes)

Princess Evangile (CG)(There are both All-Ages and uncensored versions of this game)

Psychonauts (Raz and Lili)

Resident Evil 2 (Leon and Ada)

Royal Midnight Kiss (CG)

Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love (CG)

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (at the end of some levels)

Shall We Date Franchise (CG)

Shira Oka: Second Chances (CG)

Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) (Infamous scene where a human princess has to smooch an unconscious Sonic)

Snow Sakura (CG)(Hentai game)

Spiderman: The Movie (Spiderman and MJ)

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (Starkiller’s pilot Juno plants one on him)

Storm Lover (Otome)(CG)

Sunrider Academy (CG) (Hentai game)

Sweet Scandal (CG)

Telltale’s Batman (Bruce and Selina)

To Heart 1 & 2 (CG)(All ages and uncensored versions)

Tokimeki Memorial Girl’s Side Franchise (Otome)(CG)(Translation patch)

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (Nate and Chloe smooch fairly early on. Nate and Elena finally smooch on screen at the end.)

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End (Elena and Nate again)

Until Dawn (Optional between Chris and Ashley)

Valkyria Chronicles (Welkin and Alicia)

Valkyria Chronicles III (Kurt and one of two possible girls)

War: 13th Day

Wing Commander: The Kilrathi Saga

The Witcher Franchise (usually before a sexytime)

Wolfenstein: The New Order (Anya and BJ)

Yo-Jin-Bo (Otome game, CG art)

F/F:

Flowers -Le volume sur printemps-

Her Tears Were My Light

Highway Blossoms (Both all ages and uncensored versions available)

Kindred Spirits on the Roof (CG art)

The Last of Us: Left Behind (T_T)

A Little Lily Princess

Love is Strange (Life is Strange fanfic)

Nurse Love Addiction

Slumberparty

Starlight Vega (warning for one step-sister romance route)

why is this dragon so fucking cute?

M/M:

Animamundi: Dark Alchemist (CG)(Adult game)

Bacchikoi! (CG)(Adult game)

Coming Out on Top (CG)(Adult game)

Hetalia Sim Date (CG)

Lamento – BEYOND THE VOID – (CG)(Adult game)(Catboys)

No, Thank You!!! (CG)(Adult game)

Silver Chaos (CG)(Adult game)(Translation patch)

Sleepover (CG)(Adult game)

Combinations:

Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate (Roth and Jacob, Evie and Henry)

Backstage Pass (CG)

Bully (M/F and M/M kisses)

Dragon Age: Origins (repeatable smooches wherever)

Dragon Age 2 (Only in romance cutscenes)

Dragon Age 3 (combination of the two, but repeatable kisses only in Skyhold)

Fable Franchise (social actions)

Fire Emblem Fates occasionally gives your player character first person kissing scenes with your chosen S-rank partner.

Heilleen (CG art F/M and F/F)

Hustle Cat (Main character is NB by default)

Injustice 2 (Poison Ivy has a kiss attack)

Jade Empire (Though please note that the same-sex kisses need a mod to display properly without fading to black, see the mod section below.)

Life is Strange (There are options for Max to kiss Chloe and Warren depending on their relationship values.)

LongStory (CG)

Loren: The Amazon Princess (CG)

Lovestruck (This is Voltages’s newer app for games like Astoria and Castaways) (F/F F/M F/NB) (CG)

Magical Diary: Horse Hall (F/M & F/F CG)

Mass Effect (Cutscenes)

Saints Row IV (Parody of romance cutscenes ranging from romantic kisses, to rough BDSM, to implied robot oral)

The Sims Franchise (So many different ways to smooch!)

Singles: Flirt Up Your Life (This is a game about boinking your room mate, but there’s also smooches and 1 M/M and 1 F/F option each)

Shoujo City 2D (F/M F/F)

Spelunky (Rescuing “damsels” will get you a kiss and an extra hitpoint at the end of the level, you can choose from a lady, a dude, a pug dog, or a combination of all three in the game options.)

Stardew Valley (You can smooch your partner)

Starwars: The Old Republic (Many M/F love interests in the main game. The expansions added some M/M and F/F)

Telltale’s Tales From the Borderlands (Several M/F and one F/F depending on paths chosen)

Mods:

Jade Empire Gay Romance Fix

Kissing - Immersive Lover's Comfort (Smooching mod for Skyrim, no other mods required.)

Icha Love (Alternative Kissing Mod for Skyrim, page is in Russian, requires FNIS, SKSE, and SKY UI mods)

Kiss Em All (Yet another Skyrim kissing mod, requires SKSE)

Kiss Em All SE (Port of Kiss Em All for Skyrim SE, also available for XBox1)

Bastila Romance Enhancement (Adds a visible kiss between Bastila and PC to Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic)

Carth Romance Fix (Adds a visible kiss between Carth and PC to Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic)

Juhani Romance Enhancement (Adds a visible kiss between Juhani and PC to Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic)

Kiss (Adds kissing to Fallous: New Vegas, hosted on an adult site, which needs an account to access downloads.)

Caricature animation (Adds kissing to Oblivion, requires OBSE20)

Special Mentions:

Exstetra is a JRPG where kissing everyone is a key game mechanic, but it’s only been released in Japan and unlikely to be localised into English.

KissMe - Adds Kisses to Minecraft but I don’t know if it’s text only or animations.

LovePlus - First person M/F kissing, only available via translation patch.

nummyz dating sims - Needs more research

Paranormal Kiss - Not in English yet.

Sim Girls Franchise - Needs more research

#list actually #romance games #otome #gay lesbian and bisexual gaming

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labellerose-acheron · 7 years

Text

You Will Go, You Will Return *** [Selle]

"You will go you will return never, in war will you perish. You will go you will return, never in war will you perish." -- The Delphic Oracle

In which Belle is visited by an old friend.

Want to catch up? Read in this order: Journey to Hell Saga w Helle Mother Blue, a Seph and Hades one shot in the underworld. Callie’s Nightmare Previous Callie/Hades threads, Ad Congregandum, ft. Callie, Howl, and Hades. Blue Lullaby, a Hades one shout ft. Cassandra.

PERSEPHONE: In one corner of town, a boy stood and peeled back the layers of the world as one would peel an orange, with just the sound of his voice. The veil curled back to reveal its spiderwebbed pathways, invisible to the eye. Across the pathway, through the tunnels, over the rivers and through the wood, the name of one spirit echoed.

Persephone Acheron. Persephone Acheron. Persephone Acheron.

The voice lit a candle. And now the spirit knew the way.

When Persephone Acheron was possessed by a ghost for the very first time, that same voice called out to her. She remembered how hard it had been to get back, just 7 years old, shivering alone in a corner of her body that was too small for her. It was a place where she did not know her name, did not remember a boy called Hades, or the colour of her mother’s eyes, or that she liked to spread honey and chocolate over toast. Only the sound of her brother’s voice (who she did not remember as her brother) stirred her from her own, self-inflicted banishment. It reached through the other spirit and plucked her, like a lucky clover, from where she could have been lost forever.

Traveling through the rings, jumping dimensions, it was an easier task if only because she did not have a body to begin with.

But she hit a wall. Or the idea of a wall, for she was an idea herself, a memory, a dream, a wish, a flicker in her brother’s heart. The wall blocked her on all sides. The wall had hands. It shoved her back.

My body now, sneered the wall, and Persephone went cascading through space with nowhere to land. Fear filled her gentle aura for she had once known of ghosts who had gotten lost here in the place between worlds. They wandered, a dying ember, breaking apart into little pieces, and then littler pieces of those little pieces. She began to break apart too.

But Hades was not the only one who was keeping Seph in his thoughts that night. The paths expanded, limitless, and one spoke her name. It was a passing thought, but it was enough. Persephone closed her eyes (or her idea of her eyes) and let herself be carried, like a message in a bottle.

When she opened her eyes, they were bright green and she was alive again. Persephone twitched her velvet nose. She could smell tea.

The clock read 9:17. It ticked like a metronome, the loudest thing in this old, familiar house. Belle Beauton was sat curled on the couch, her legs tucked underneath her, her eyes flying over the page of a book. Was she reading or was she pretending to read, lost in other thoughts-- Persephone wondered this as she pad into the room in the body of her beloved Vincent and then hopped onto the arm of the couch. She did not have time to ask. Her ties here were tenable, the flame soon to be snuffed.

So she spoke, her eyes wide and pupils as dark and full as the void itself. “Belle-- Belle, it’s me-- Persephone.”

BELLE: Yes, Belle was thinking about Persephone. Well, she was thinking about Hades—and his plan to bring her back as she sat, alone, in their home. The house was empty, of people besides herself—of ghosts. Or, so she thought. It was just her and this sense of foreboding which hung over the house like a storm cloud. She couldn’t shake it, no matter how hard she tried to tell herself that Hades would be careful, that Howl knew what he was doing.

Belle knew the truth. She knew that Hades was not thinking clearly. He was desperate. She didn’t blame him, but it made her heart tight in her chest. It made her worry—about Hades, but also, about if she made the right decision, not being with him through this process, not standing by him. Maybe along the way she could change his mind, somewhere, somehow—find some little crack that would let her slip in. But, he wasn’t having it. She knew that nothing she said would stop him and she couldn’t—she just couldn’t support what he was doing. She believed, she really did, that there was no way to bring Persephone back.

Her mind wandered, though she tried to read, tried to focus on what she was doing. This was what happened every time Hades left the house these days. She’d watch him go, his features always set in stone and she worried until he came back, his shoulders a little slumped. In the interim she tried to read but she could never focus, though, she was too in her head to hear the tinkle of Vincent’s little bell as she jumped up onto the couch.

It wasn’t until she heard a voice—a voice she was intimately familiar with, one that she had forgotten in the way you forget when you haven’t heard something in a long, long time. She jumped slightly, her book slamming closed. Turning her head, Belle came almost nose to nose with Vincent who was staring at her intently. She felt her heartbeat race, her brows furrowing, mouth opening and closing.

“Per—Perseph—what—how—what?” she said breathlessly and then sat up a little more, feeling tears catch in her throat. “Is it really you?”

PERSEPHONE: “Yes!” Persephone meowed, and she hopped down into Belle’s lap. She did not have time to waste, for the proverbial clock was ticking, the wax on her candle drip-drip-dripping. Even the journey to the couch in Vincent’s body made Seph’s soul grow tired, like it was full of rocks, and she was about to sink.

She held on though. She had once been the thing to hold on to, the anchor upon which souls perched. She knew how to keep balance and keep Vincent calm while she came to do what she needed to do.

She had found Belle, she knew, for a reason. Being dead had perks, you see. Where she drifted in the Wood, she drifted among the souls of everyone who had come before her and everyone who would come after. Everyone whispered their stories, as though they were talking in their sleep, murmuring and murmuring in hopes of someone hearing them, in hopes someone might try to call their name. So now Seph knew the stories of those souls as they knew her story; it was their stories that grew the trees high and crowded, that kept the wood ever expanding.

She came with answers. Seph could only explain a little though, that was the rules. The more stories she revealed, the higher the trees would grow, and their roots would pull her right back.

(What? You think ghosts wanted to be vague and unhelpful? No, it was the tether to the Underworld that determined what could be said).

“Hades summoned me. Or-- well, he tried, he-- Cassandra won’t let me in. It doesn’t matter anyway, I need to talk to you, Belle,” she meowed. “I only have so long. Hades and you-- everyone-- they’re in grave danger. This story began long ago, before we ever came to Swynlake, before Hades was the ambassador--”

She shook her head, because the words were already getting tangled. She needed to find a way to warn her. She needed to find a way.

Persephone blinked her eyes open again, round as moons. “Your fate is entwined with Urania Hesiod. Don’t trust her. Don’t let my brother be alone with her! Please, Belle! It will all fall down!”

BELLE: The book fell to the floor as Vincent—Persephone?—jumped into her lap. She startled a bit and sat up some, her brows pulled down and together in utter confusion.

As far as she was aware, this shouldn’t be possible. From everything she had ever read—bringing someone back from the dead was impossible, or very, very dark magic. The kind she hoped Hades wasn’t capable of. She hated that she was suspicious because she wanted more than anything to speak with Persephone then. This just felt like a cruel kind of joke, Persephone’s voice coming out in a purr, sounding just enough like her. It was like how Belle had sounded as the little sparrow perched on the inn balcony over a year ago (had it really been that long?)

She wanted to believe so badly. And—as the rest of Persephone’s words came out in a long, rushed string—she did believe. Because why would someone warn her of something terrible that was going to happen if they wanted that terrible thing to happen? Belle’s heart sank, her stomach twisted. This was everything she’d been afraid of. And the only question in her mind then, screaming louder than all the others—

“Hades? Is he all right?” But, as soon as that question was out, several more came tumbling from her lips. “What danger? What’s going to fall? Who is Urania Hesiod? Is she the danger? What does she want with Hades? W-with me? How—how do I know any of this is even true?”

Finally, finally, she asked that question she’d been dreading, tears in her eyes. She wanted so badly to believe, she missed Persephone more than anything. Her death had left a hole inside of her, had left a hole inside of Hades—one that wasn’t healing, one that felt like it would never heal, like, instead, it was just getting bigger and bigger.

PERSEPHONE: Persephone wanted to answer every question, but already, the roots curled around her and she knew if she spoke too much, she’d choke. Her whiskers twitched, ears flicking back and forth. She lashed Vincent’s tail too, but none of these things helped her find a way to warn Belle properly. Down every sentence, she found nothing but dead, dead ends. And worse. She shuddered to know the endings of the story (for there were several being written even know as they spoke, the gears shifting, the pieces in place). There were some things that could not be changed. But there were some things that could.

How she wished she did not have to play this game at all. She had not gotten to say goodbye to Belle last time, there on the river bank. She remembered her crying and yelling. Seph remembered her hands reaching for her. She wished this window she crawled through could be a second chance and instead of riddles-- she could tell Belle that she missed her.

Maybe Belle would read to her too, the way that she read to Vincent. How Seph wished for just a moment where they could pretend that they were together again and would not be parted. And they all live happily ever after.

But there was so little time. Aways too little. Persephone wished that she could have had just a little more, before her end.

This was not her end. This was Belle’s-- beginning.

“You just have to believe me,” Sephy said, with tears in her trembling, thin voice. “She’s coming so soon. Please, listen to me though I didn’t listen to you. I’m sorry Belle. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’m sorry for everything that’s going to come and, and everything I can’t say-- tell Hades I love him.” The little cat’s body trembled now. Seph was holding on as hard as she could. “And I love you too, Belle. I know you’ll be brave.”

BELLE: Belle wanted to believe her, and the little break in Persephone’s voice, so desperate, crumbled Belle’s resolve. She was never very good at being suspicious anyways. It was how she had let a vampire into their house, it was how she had let Persephone’s death come to fruition in the first place. She was bad—very bad at keeping her suspicion in place.

And she missed Sephy dreadfully, she did. The girl was like her own little sister—if Belle knew what that was like. She would’ve—if her and Persephone had had more time. But, they hadn’t. Almost a year and that was all. But, still, her grief felt larger than herself sometimes, like if she stepped wrong, she’d fall into it and never come back out again. She missed Persephone so much, every day.

So, she brought her hands up to the little cat, whose body was trembling dreadfully, like it had when they’d come home from the snowstorm and Belle had scooped Vincent up and held her in Belle’s sweater, walking around with the cat perched there like a baby. Hades had told her she looked ridiculous, but she refused to let the little thing freeze. She didn’t want Vincent—Persephone—to tremble now. She gathered the cat up in her arms, so she was half-perched on Belle’s chest, her fingers stroking over the head and the soft fur. She hoped Persephone could feel that. She hoped it felt like a hug.

She had started crying, though, she didn’t know why or how. The tears made her eyes sting and Persephone’s words made her lips tremble. Persephone’s words made her afraid. Because she didn’t know what was coming. There was some big, nameless fear, so great that Persephone had found a way to come back from the other side to warn her about it. But, Belle didn’t know what it was, she couldn’t—prepare.

“Don’t—don’t apologize, Sephy,” Belle said, her voice trembling, her fingers rubbed at one of the cat’s ears. “I-I’m sorry there wasn’t more I could do. Hades loves you so much, you know he does. I love you too. W-we will be okay, I-I promise. We’ll—we’ll take care of each other. And we’ll—we’ll miss you every day, we already do. I-I wish you didn’t have to go.”

But, she did. Belle knew that she did. She knew the rules, but her fingers clenched a little harder in the short black fur anyway.

“You’re so loved, Persephone. So loved.” She kissed the little cat on the top of its head and closed her eyes, a few more tears squeezing out.

PERSEPHONE: Belle’s arms wrapped around her, bringing her close enough to her chest that Persephone heard her heartbeat. Seph closed her eyes and sank into that sound. It was erratic, but so, so alive. Belle smelled just like Persephone remembered. Like tea and honey and books. Tea and honey and books.

She had forgotten all these things and would forget them again. You could not carry these things into the next life. That’s what made this one as dear as it was, why ghosts hung on with all their might, why others sought a way to get back. They reached for music, for flowers and chocolate strawberries, for ticker-tape festivals and those summer rainy days, each pellet of rain like a kiss. Oh, and kisses. How Seph wished she could have given and received more kisses, and hugs, and pinches and pokes. She missed the way cool soil felt between the fingers and the taste of a ripe tomatoes.

She held all of these things as Belle held her, like Belle could keep her and these memories together for just a few more seconds. And Persephone was grateful for those seconds. She counted them. She cherished them. She purred against Belle’s chest, like a little instrument.

And then she felt the underworld call her back.

Persephone knew better than to fight and cling and cry. She did not want her last moments to be spent in such a way. So she kept her eyes closed and let Belle’s words be the ship that would carry her home. You are so loved.

“Goodbye Belle,” she whispered. “I’ll see you soon.”

And then she was gone, and it was Vincent purring in Belle’s arms. She popped her head up and rasped her tongue over Belle’s arm.

#bdrppersephone #selle #you will go you will return #UGHHHH #katabasis

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