#all of this are fun until i colored sick v and made him look so pale and i got kinda sad

[swearingcactus]

ceebeepee stuff. panam being supportive and grabbing a screenshot from one of the most well preserved pre-nuke samurai interview video where johnny's high off his balls! johnny doing pyschological warfare! rogue playing mommy favorites! kerry doing psychological warfare! widdle v intimidating NPCs!

[tadpolejourney]

Days 11-12

I was so sick last night, I couldn't write. I'll have to put my work on Act V aside to catch up on yesterday and today.

Yesterday was such a crazy ass fucking day. I must emphasize that I have been having some very strange and crazy days lately, and this was the most insane day yet.

Let's start with first thing yesterday morning. I can't say I didn't see this coming with all the flirting we've been doing. Astarion propositioned me for sex. He's not at all interested in a real relationship. I reminded him our relationship isn't transactional and he didn't need to repay the favor of my blood for sex. He talked about how I 'obviously' wanted him because I was quivering when he bit me. More like he's been the obvious one, and I shook because it hurt like hell and it was taking everything I had not to cry out, but I let him protect his ego to cushion the rejection. When I turned him down, he told me I was no fun, but he doesn't seem to have any hard feelings about it. I can't just have sex with whoever, whenever. I've never had the luxury of being able to just 'let go' and have sex only for the fun of it with anyone who I felt attracted to. That has always felt unsafe to me, and probably always will. Truthfully, if I could I would have said yes to him. I had no other reason to say no.

We got Karlach an engine upgrade today. I'm glad we met the blacksmith Dammon and he's able and willing to help. Also, those two have some real chemistry. I wonder if either or both of them realize it.

Gale needed another magical item today. This time he said it wasn't working to quell his hunger like before. He seemed frightened.

We made it to the goblin camp. I really try not to be racist but goblins are fucking stupid, disgusting, and barbaric.

It looks like the mother owlbear in the cave didn't make it. I found her cub taken captive at the camp and bargained with a goblin woman to set him free. I hope he can find our camp.

Volothamp Geddarm, of all people, was imprisoned by a goblin woman who called him her 'pigeon'. I watched him floundering to come up with a verse in front of an audience of drunk goblins. I spoke with him in camp tonight, and he had 0 interesting things to say and kept constantly talking over me. A classic mansplainer. Never meet your heroes. Not that he is really my hero. His music really isn't my style, and I don't tend to read fairy tales either. He's more like someone I'm obligated to know about in my profession. Still, color me unimpressed.

We found Halsin at the goblin camp, alive and imprisoned. We helped free him and kill his captors. He knew immediately that I was infected, and that my infection was atypical. He's just as good of a healer as the druids claimed. But he can't cure us either. He does, however, know where to find our cure. Moonrise Towers. He asked us to kill the leaders of the goblin camp to protect his grove. Of course we're doing it. Also, why does every ally I make have to be so hot? IT'S VERY DISTRACTING. If I could find allies that are just average looking or even ugly, or like geriatric, or married, that would be fantastic. I hope Halsin is married. Or who knows, maybe we'll hit it off and I can forget about the dude I really like who I've definitely been hitting on that just fucking ignores me anyway.

Shadowheart has been carrying around a strange artifact this whole time. True to form she was very rude when I asked about it a tenday ago, so I ignored it. Until today. It made its way to me somehow while we were in the goblin camp. I finally heard the voice of this Absolute. It showed me a vision of its chosen, said I should aid in their search for a weapon. The power it wields to make us obey is unlike anything I've ever felt or experienced. The artifact protected us somehow.

I met the three leaders of the goblin camp. These 'True Soul' leaders all had parasites. They think I'm their ally because I'm infected. Minthara referred to me as 'grotesque'. She seems highly intelligent and tough as nails. Priestess Gut is a sadist branding everyone she can get her hands on, but not nearly as powerful as she claims to be. Dror Ragzlin is ambitious, and like all ambitious people, his ambition makes him a narrow-minded moron.

So that was yesterday up until being very sick last night in camp. Late last night Lae'zel snuck up behind me while I was sitting on the ground and put a dagger to my throat. She thought we were transforming, and she was ready to kill me, the others, and then herself. I felt her fear and her doubt, and it didn't take much to convince her to stand down. I wasn't positive we weren't transforming, but I also wasn't ready to die or let anyone else be killed over an assumption. We went to sleep after that.

According to a being that came to me in my dreams, I was sick last night because I really was transforming into a mindflayer. Lae'zel was right, but luckily she didn't kill me or anyone else. This guardian guy, a big, strange-looking, half elf male in fancy armor, says he made me better. Told me I needed to wield the power the parasite has granted me, that I had potential and could 'save us all'. Claimed to be my protector, and that he was fighting 'the enemy'. So purposely vague. Another day, another sales pitch. I don't know if I buy it. Perhaps some of it is true. I remain extremely skeptical.

Gale spoke to me this morning about the visitor in his dream, a supposed 'vision of unparalleled beauty and power'. I am truly annoyed that I felt so jealous upon hearing him say so. He confirmed what I'd suspected about mine. It wasn't a real person.

Everyone had the same dream, with a different guardian. Just when I thought shit could not get any weirder.

Today we attacked the goblin camp.

We went after Minthara first, as she is clearly the most dangerous and capable of the three. She was also closest to where Halsin was imprisoned and there was a scrying eye that would have made subterfuge impossible. When I struck what I'm sure everyone thought was the final blow I deliberately knocked her unconscious rather than killing her. I spared her without telling anyone. I thought about how if I did not have this weird entity or that weird box protecting me from the Absolute, I could be just like she is. I could not bring myself to kill her. I made an emotional decision, and I could definitely come to regret it later. Halsin could hate me for what I did. Minthara would likely kill me for what I did. She is Lolth-sworn drow. This would be utterly humiliating for her if she knew. Maybe she won't know though. The others didn't realize what I'd done. We stripped her while she was unconscious like we would have a corpse. I had a parasite in my bag that I nicked off Nettie's table when no one was looking, and I said it came from Minthara. Maybe her being alive can just be a 'miraculous survival'. I'm hoping the Absolute lost its influence there because of all the followers we murdered, and she can get a chance to be free. And this is yet another reason why I feel like I did something truly dumb: I'm not even sure that's how this works. I could have just condemned her to be a mindflayer and doomed many, or failed to make any change at all to her situation (which means she most certainly could get killed outright for her failure as a leader). I can only really hope for the best and live with the consequences of what I've done, whatever they may be.

I'm getting really tired of having to make all these crucial decisions that not only direct my fate, but also the fates of so many others.

When we pulled the tadpoles from Priestess Gut and Dror Ragzlin, the guardian spoke to me in my mind, encouraged me to absorb their potential. I hesitated, but he promised to protect me, so I consumed it. I don't even know where to start in describing the feeling. To put it simply: weird, cold, uncomfortable, but also good. I feel more powerful, and I'm still myself.

Astarion immediately wanted one for himself, put on a cute pouty face and everything. He's so funny. He could have just asked without the theatrics. However, of course I love the theatrics. We made a deal not long after we met that for any locks he picks on chests he can claim the contents for himself. Anything he keeps or gives away is fully at his discretion, and no one gets a say in that. I give him all the tools and kits to pick locks and disarm traps, and he takes care of that for us. That was the deal. When it comes to picking locks and spotting and disarming traps, he's the best I've ever seen. He makes it look easy. Anyway, I'm bringing this up because I noticed the last few chests he's picked locks to open, he's asked the rest of us if we can make use of some of the things he finds. Today he opened a chest with infernal iron and willingly handed it to Karlach. He could have easily stashed it away and not a one of us would have been the wiser. That metal is worth a lot of coin. He's actually becoming a team player. I'm honestly impressed, he continues to surprise me. I thought at first he would be our biggest liability, but the opposite is true. He's proven himself to be our biggest asset. Naturally, I won't tell him that.

We found the way into the heart of the Selûnite temple the goblins were using for their camp. There's a ladder leading down into a chasm, and it's impossible to see the bottom. It's safe to say we found one way into the Underdark. I think I want to keep looking, because that ladder looks so fucking shady. Could just be my thing with heights though. I fucking hate heights.

Halsin suggested we celebrate tonight, rather than get an early start tomorrow. He reassured me our infection would be unlikely to progress spontaneously. He also doesn't know all of us nearly turned just last night. I hope he's right. I thought it could be really fun to let loose a little, and celebrate what turned out to be quite a victory. Saved the grove, saved the tieflings, freed Halsin, dispersed the Absolutists from this region, AND found another potential path for our cure.

When the party began, I wanted to talk to Gale right away if I'm being honest. But I thought, “Let's make him wait until I've spoken with literally everyone else but him. Let's see if he even notices, approaches me, or says anything about it at all when I speak to him”. Decided to test him. So I've barreled right past coping with his constant subtle rejection of me to being conniving to force him to actually reject me directly. You will never hear me proclaim to be mature or graceful, especially in matters of the heart. If he paid any attention at all, he got to watch nearly every single person I talked to either flirt with me or proposition me. I honestly lost count of how many people propositioned me... someone must have put something in the damn wine. I think Halsin and I were the only people not drinking it. I took a swig of Astarion's and spit it out immediately because it was so gross. Anyway... I made Gale think I was coming towards him halfway through making my way around the party, only to let Volo take me by the arm and whisk me right past him. I caught his eye and sent him the sultriest look I could manage without it being campy. Then I made an ass of myself flirting with Halsin. I don't know if Gale even noticed any of it. He probably didn't. The stupid shit I have pulled to try to get this man to acknowledge me...

When I spoke to him, he finally, finally, fucking finally opened up to me some. He talked about how he'd been living with his condition. Until he was kidnapped, he'd been in isolation for a year, maybe more. I was the first person he'd spent any significant amount of time with. He made some self-deprecating remark about leaving his wits and sensitivity behind in his tower. It took every bit of self-control I had not to just pounce on him. Instead I blurted out an 'I like you' sort of confession. But you know, snazzier than that in the moment because hi, it's me. Gave up on the whole 'done being obvious' thing once again and went right back to being obvious.

He paused before saying, 'Wait, are you...' and then he interrupted himself. Said something about how he'd clearly had too much wine and I not enough... and then proceeded to tell me that getting excited is a bad idea for him because of his condition. 'A conversation best held back for now.'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGH.

Boy I will prepare a fucking dragon's hoard of magical items for you to consume continuously while we lie together if that's what it takes. I am so frustrated. I want to have this explained to me in a way that actually makes sense. He's fucking hiding something. Something huge. And until now, I was too much of a lovesick puppy to see it. I had to have it thrown in my face for me to notice.

I'm starting to feel like I'm being played. I'm pissed.

So naturally I spend the night with someone else I like. Karlach. And then I friend-zoned her. I said yes to her earlier tonight because I knew what she wanted, and I knew what I was going to do. Worse yet, she wasn't the only person I strung along last night. And why would I do that to someone who would hang the moon for me, who has only ever been kind to me, who is probably the coolest person I've ever met and will ever meet? After all, aren't I the hero goody-two-shoes people pleasing sweet lovely little doll-faced creature everyone thinks I am? I'll tell you exactly why. Because deep down, I'm a fucking asshole, and now I'm getting exactly what I deserve for it. I feel like absolute shit about tonight, and I will for a long time. Probably forever. My guilt and shame are endless.

These are the exact reasons why I always end up alone.

I know I've been emotionally circling the drain for an entire page of writing now. I need to go to bed.

<<< Day 10 | Index | Day 13 >>>

[yazzydream]

part 2 of parts im excited to see in Shibuya Incident arc. (pt. 1 here)

manga SPOILERS ahead.

i love how freaking dramatic and supernatural this feels. that baby opening his eyes with clarity and awareness is creepy af. i loveeee it.

the entire flashback with the curse user scrubs is actually creepy and gritty and excellent all around. but this scene...

im not even gonna pretend. i have a colored version of this page as my phone bg. i. will. scream. little!gojo looks like hot shit. a very scary hot shit.

legitimately the cutest panel akutami has ever drawn ever.

i don't even like toji! but how dare you resurrect his body's information to control his abilities! this man was a piece of shit, but his body and abilities therein were the only good things about him damnit. toji taking over the body of the one who tried to use him and murdering granny ogami was v satisfying. (also, going further into the discussion between body+soul is such an interesting theme in jjk.)

brief but beautiful nanami/nobara working together. this is an unusual team up kinda? let nobara watch a real man work. ugh, nanami and nobara are in my top 6 characters.

uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and then we know what happens to theeeeemmmm. im gonna be sick

all three of those people... (maybe all four? lol) are, well. anyway, this moment of lucidity... this is a moment of enlightenment. it's so antithesis to shonen heroes. i think it's great. (again, ties into my post of why i love yuji.)

This is another favorite scene of mine. it's so bizarre. lol

ugh, naobito's powers are cool as shit. i'm looking forward to seeing how animators animate animation powers. lol.

maki is also my main girl, so seeing her team up with nanami... just nanami + team zenin is cool and funny. it's like the straight man dropped in the middle of a dysfunctional family reunion.

happiness that i got to see him directly interact with my favorite ladies before... well.

seeing dagon and remembering grasshopper curse, and the both of them look like they came right on over from chimera ant arc in hunter x hunter. which is another one of my all time favorite arcs in shonen. great. shibuya incident is such a great arc!

my girl maki is 16-years-old. all this time, and in this fight too, there have been doubts, she must fight against it all the time, doubts that she can be as strong as any grade 1 sorcerer. she was alone, and yet. AND YET, here she sees toji who's just like her. it must've been reaffirming. it must've been encouraging! ahhh. toji being good for something for once in his life--death-- whatever.

ah ah ah ahh! this was so shocking! after all that, jogo comes and bodies nanami, maki, and naobito just like that.

one of the few moments where sukuna popping up made me wanna scream. fuck this is such a good shot. the arrogant condescending demand and expression. i could hear his voice. 💦💦💦

yikes. YIKES. YIKES. FUCKING BRUTAL. I WANNA SCREAM. it's just been ONE. THING. AFTER. ANOTHER. AHHHHH

...i'm beginning to wonder if i'm a bit of a sadist? ...nah. i just appreciate a good story. 😤 also mimiko and nanko showing up was a pleasant surprise. i've always liked their designs.

sukuna just fucking with them makes me laugh every time. THERE WAS NO POINT TO THIS. BASTARD WAS JUST HAVING FUN AT THEIR EXPENSE OMG. what a shit.

there's always something charming about flashbacks between megumi and gojo. then there's the little self-deprecation of megu's here too. idk idk! megumi is never complimentary about gojo except in these rare moments where he's thinking to himself, we get glimpses of his reliance on gojo. like, i remember in the yasohachi bridge case when megumi thought something like, 'gojo's coming back in a week, i can ask him for help.' very small moments that hint at their relationship.

also these little flashback sequences are all we're gonna get of gojo until like season 4, so i'll enjoy them wherever i can. lol.

i didn't particularly care about mahoraga until he showed up later, but rereading this appearance again is pretty exciting. and then megumi says, 'aight i'm out. take care of it yourself, fucker.' before passing out from blood loss. lmao

"hey brat, take a look." what a sadistic fuck.

the raw shock and devastation is incredible. i hope it's just as terrible in the anime.

cont. in part 3

[shingia]

hello I saw the request for fluff so here I am with a very self-indulgent request (I wasn't able to access your rules from your masterlist so I apologize if I violate any of them :(

this is probably bc I've been reading fics and whatnot 24/7 but I now have this intense desire to coddle the haikyuu boys. like calling them baby, cupping their face with my hands and kissing them all over, holding their head to my chest and playing with their hair, humming them to sleep... sksjsk is it obvious that I'm touch starved and lonely?

hopefully you like this idea! if you decide to write it, could you include akaashi, tsukishima, kuroo, iwaizumi, and daichi please? it's totally fine if you don't want to though. thank you so much and I hope you're doing well! <3

✗ CODDLING THE HAIKYUU BOYS

hii !! the problem with the link to my rules should be fixed now, sorry about that ! but dw you respected all of them <3 and, as a fellow touch starved and lonely person, this request is absolutely adorable and i loved writing it ! also, i’m doing good ty, hope you are too !!

-> akaashi, tsukki, kuroo, iwa, daichi

-> reblogs are v cool but do what you want besties 🖤

— AKAASHI

he absolutely loves it. falling asleep and waking up comfortably tucked in your embrace every day makes him the most grateful man on earth. he even clings onto your arm just to make sure he won’t move away from you in his sleep, because he would hate to open his eyes to anything other than your sleepy face as you place gentle kisses on his forehead, getting his arms covered with goosebumps. and the « did you sleep well baby ? » that rolls off your tongue seems to magically pull the corner of his lips upwards. there’s also something about having his head buried in the crook of your neck, with your smell being the last thing he focuses on before drifting off, that makes him realize that he will never get tired of the safety you bring him.

— TSUKISHIMA

at first, tsukishima has trouble understanding why everyone is making such a fuss about how nice it is to be pampered by a loved one. but one day - a really awful one that had almost made him cry - he discovers the joys of letting you be the big spoon for once ; and he promises himself to never turn you down again next time you’d ask to play with his hair. because the feeling of your fingers tangling in his locks is all he needs to fall asleep, no matter how much is on his mind. he doesn’t even get mad when you wake him up with a kiss on the tip of his nose, telling him that the dinner you have ordered has finally come. when you get up to open the door to the delivery man, he’s still by your side, his arm embarrassingly intertwined with yours because he just wants to make sure you won’t forget about him.

— KUROO

you’re a deity to this man, so you’re free to do literally anything your heart wishes. you want to squish his cheeks until they’re bright red ? and then kiss them until they’re back to their normal color ? go ahead. and have fun doing this please, because he loves nothing more than to hear you chuckle in his ear. also, since he mostly refers to you as kitten, it’s pretty logical for you to do the same. but the first time you call him baby :o ? not in a flirty way but in a genuinely sweet one ? he has never looked up from his homework so quickly, eyes wide because he didn’t expect to like the sound of it so much. « this is nice » he flashes you a satisfied smile before whispering to himself « this is very nice ».

— IWAIZUMI

he is so used to always be the one coddling you that it had never crossed his mind that roles could be inverted. but all it takes is for you to lovingly wrap him in a blanket on a particularly cold winter day to make him completely melt. the only times he usually lets himself being pampered is when he’s sick - and even then, he always tries to prove that he’s well enough to take care of himself. but it feels good to not associate your tender gestures of affection with runny nose, headache and sore throat for once… so screw having the upper hand during cuddles today, because he really needs those back hugs and hand massages. but most of all, he needs to hear that he’s doing well and that you’re proud of him <3

— DAICHI

daichi is always in charge. and as much as he loves his role, it doesn’t take him much to surrender to your sweet gestures, precisely because he enjoys being taken care of from time to time. you’re his favorite way to recharge his batteries, every kiss you pepper on his face makes him feel a little bit stronger. but paradoxically, you’re also the person that makes him relax the fastest. he could spend entire days listening to your heartbeat with his head on your chest while you let him talk about whatever comes to his mind - it feels nice to have actually have someone that listens to him, other than when he’s giving directions. but you can easily tell when he’s done talking because he always brings himself closer to you, inviting your arms to hold him just a little bit tighter as you take on the talking - only stopping when you’re sure he’s sound asleep.

@toworuu @catwithangerissues

[yanderart]

He caught you when no one else did; defeated you when no one else could. Whether you liked to admit it or not, Eraserhead had clearly proven his worth.

So why didn't you prove yours, little villain?

Another portrait for my POV yandere series, this time of Aizawa. Got a few people requesting me to draw/write for him so hopefully y'all enjoy it 🖤

Below the cut, as customary for the series, is a longshot one-shot that delves further into the backstory (Aizawa x Villain Reader, nsfw, dark themes, 8k).

TWs: dub-con, graphic smut, Bad Bondage Etiquette, degradation/humiliation, brat (villain) taming, cumplay and slight bimbofication. Scumbag Aizawa is real.

— — —

   The day you met Eraserhead, looking back, saying your worries had been misplaced would be an understatement. With not being apprehended and losing street cred at the very top of your list, it was decidedly easy to skip over any of the other big red-lettered warnings.

   You first felt the tickle in your nape while you carried your acquisitions across downtown Musutafu, accompanied by the familiar presage of someone watching your every movement. The city around you was bustling, as was the norm, as loud and meandering in its complaints as a chronically diseased elder, yet the alleys you took as shortcuts grew quieter and quieter with each step. 

   It was eerie, alarming, and a platitude of other adjectives you shamefully chose to neglect. 

   “So this is the great V/N in the flesh,” the lazy cadence of someone calling out your alias froze you mid-step, the way his owner dragged each syllable telling you he hadn’t yet decided whether you were worth wasting his breath on. 

   Your body was responding before you even had a chance to properly process the threat, running on instinct and muscle memory as you twirled to face the mysterious man and prepared to...

   “Cute dress, kid.” Eraserhead in the flesh stood barely a few feet away, glowing scarlet orbs illuminating his preternaturally blank expression and transforming it instead into a visage of pure intimidation. “Didn’t pitch you for the frilly type.”

   The growing panic in your chest put a hitch in your breath as you stared back. Yet you couldn’t help but still try, fruitlessly hoping—hands clenched, nails puncturing your own flesh as you tried to force your dormant quirk awake. And all for naught, considering your efforts were only repaid by the hatchet of your sinking realization being buried even deeper. 

   Although, the Pro-Hero also appeared to notice your meager attempts, taking a few steps closer to your form with a condescending gleam in his otherwise somber features. 

   Before you were conscious of what you were looking at (and before you had half a mind to attempt a quirkless attack on the hero), you observed the weapon wrapped around his neck unfolding fluidly, the extensions of fabric reaching out to envelop you in a forceful embrace that left your arms tucked to your sides and your back uncomfortably straightened. 

   “Better to trap you before you get any wild ideas. It’s your fault you’re in this position in the first place anyways,” he was taunting you, prodding you and poking you as you found yourself completely at his mercy, uselessly struggling much in the same way many of your victims had surely felt in their last few moments at your hands. 

   "Eraserhead," his pseudonym resembled an insult on your tongue, your rage and resentment making for rather colorful enhancements. "Don’t you have anything better to do than trapping helpless girls with this weapon of yours? Didn't peg you for a pervert."

   Usually, you managed to reign in some of your nastier attitudes, channeling them into your quirk and the violence you could inflict with it…

   But tied up and under the influence of his own ability as you were? All you had was pettiness. 

   "You can dress up as a civ all you want. Won't be fooling me." He took several steps, closing the distance between you two with barely the hint of a smile morphing his stern expression.  

   You could see the faint stubble on his handsome face from this up close, blood-shot eyes that refused to blink as they studied you in ample detail. Could even see the scar carved onto one of his cheekbones, a textured promise of the fight he had survived and now wore as a medal. 

   Such was your luck, that the Pro to finally catch up with you had to be this rugged scumbag. 

   "I'm not even engaging in any criminal activities, Eraseridiot." Your insult was terrible, but you were never much of a verbal sparrer. Not when you could use your fists instead. "What are you gonna send me to the pigs for? I know my rights."

   And you did. So when the condescension on the lazy hero's face turned into a full-on expression of mockery as he approached your "bag of acquisitions," you audibly gulped. Goddamn stalker couldn't have been following you for that long? Could he? 

    If only you knew. 

   "Then," he held up the bag with an indolent brand of interest, the contents dangling tauntingly from his clutch. "How do you explain this over here? I reckon even dirt like you knows what stealing qualifies as." His other hand dived for the contents and before you could voice any protest, cheeks blushing furiously, a slow hint of a chuckle was bobbing his adam's apple. "It would be a fun thing to peg you down for, though."

   That damned weapon of his didn't give out an inch as you started to furiously struggle, becoming instead impossibly tighter with each futile attempt at freeing yourself.

   "You fucking psycho, is this your sick way of trying to pick me up or something?"

   But your quip did not deter him at all (if anything, it spurred him on). The hand inside the bag tensed for a moment before he was retrieving the sole object inside. To say mortification was written all over your face would be an understatement. 

   A dark pantyhose now hung from Eraserhead's nimble fingers, not a second being wasted by the Hero before he proceeded to bring it up to his face, carelessly stretching the garment until you could see every single one of his features through the sheer material. The way the moonlight caught in it, bouncing off and bathing his patronizing face, made for uncomfortably intimate imagery. 

   (Yet a part of you, one you would never admit existed if further questioned, also could not help but notice the striking attractiveness of it all, making you want to squirm for completely different reasons while the man continued to exert his quirk on you through the fabric of your fucking lingerie.)

   "Gotta say, didn't take you for a pantyhose kind of gal either. Girls like you…" He uttered the last part more like an afterthought, tossing the bag aside before his hands continued toying with the tights absentmindedly. "Are suited for something like fishnets much more."

   By that point, you were sure he was just playing with you. You were such a harmless joke, restrained and showcased like a prize for his viewing pleasure.

   "Reckon you must own quite a few pairs, uh?" He continued egging you on when you failed to give a timely enough answer. 

   (Perhaps the fact that he so easily guessed that detail should’ve been your first real warning, too.)

   Yet you couldn’t help how his condescension and the downright dirty way he stared at you sent dark shivers up your spine, the threat he represented turning strangely alluring under the dim street lights illuminating you both. 

   As a villain, you had robbed, murdered, set people ablaze, and even stolen a popsicle or two from some crying kids. So why were Eraserhead's words having such an effect on you? Why did, a part of you deep down, seemed enthused by the awful way in which he was speaking to you?

   "You don't have any proof I stole them. I just threw away the receipt after I bought them. Very environmentally unconscious of them, too, when electrical ones are a thing."

   Now you were just rambling. What an adorable sight. 

   "Hmm, never thought I'd hear "environmentally unconscious" being uttered by a two-bit criminal." He stopped stretching the lingerie for a moment, thoughtfully scratching at his incipient stubble with his free hand instead, "Are you really trying to sell me the good samaritan angle?"

   To his credit too, he seemed genuinely puzzled by your approach for an instant. Guess even an experienced pro like him still had room to be shocked. 

   "I'm not trying to sell you anything, imbecile." The snobbishly controlled tone of yours was back, the shaking of panic subsiding while you held onto your only hope of leaving this confrontation unscathed. "And my rights clearly state you need proof to apprehend me. Need causality to exert your quirk on me, too, or you would be the one breaking the law." 

   Now, Eraserhead wasn’t annoyed per se. You could tell from what little he had already spoken (and from the myriad of cautionary tales you had been told) that little could rattle the man at all, but your comment definitely appeared to intrigue him. It made you feel like an animal being studied, pinned down, and ready to be dissected for his own morbid curiosity.

   "Isn't this just rich?" His tone was almost lethargic, words dragging on with a faint rumble. "Are you going to run off to the police, then? Tell them how a Pro trapped you and tried turning you in for a very obvious act of theft?", his eyebrows were raised, eyes more awake despite his monotone voice carrying on. "Be my guest then."

   Because of course you were all bark, no bite and he was more than willing to call you out on your shit. So instead of continuing down that route, you decided to veer for a new approach, switching from your assortment of insolent tactics. 

   "Do you get off on this, then?" Your voice morphing into meekness while you adopted an expression of distress, bottom lip jutting out with the sparkle of thinly veiled sarcasm glimmering in your eyes. "Do you like thinking of yourself as the Big Bad Hero, maybe?" And you could tell by the way the incipient smile froze on his lips that your question had caught him off guard. Made you wanna press even harder, "Do you like the idea of taking a defenseless little girl into an alley and showing her just how bad you can be? Maybe planned on teaching me a lesson, is that it?"

   His frown mimicked yours now, no longer any hints of cruel enjoyment on his part. His eyes still glowed red, but he was now squinting ever so slightly, zeroing in on you not only due to the limits of his quirk but also due to the words rapidly continuing to escape your impudent mouth. 

   "Does Eraserhead like to fuck his lays into being law-abiding citizens? Is the power over someone else what really gets you off, perhaps?"

   It was like a spell was cast on the both of you. He couldn't drift his attention, his eyes couldn't stop scanning your face — quickly flickering from the hatred coloring your gaze to the slight quiver of frustration shaking your lips. The hand which he still used to grab your stockings was now a closed fist, knuckles growing pale from the poorly contained strength.

   "Bet you plotted this entire thing, you creep. Wanted to take me behind an alley and show me my place." Your taunts were becoming increasingly more risqué, the anger blurring your sense of preservation—and the hint of something else too, a secret excitement you were unwilling to recognize. "Wanted to have me all submissive and obedient under you, surely. Show me what a scary hero cock can do, is that it?"

   But instead of earning another entertaining grimace, you had a first-row seat to the rapidly darkening expression on his face. Eyes squinted at the same time that the bandages settled even tighter around you, cutting off your breath for a moment before relenting just enough not to suffocate you. 

    And that's when you first felt it for the first time, just when your jests died on your lips and you drank on his foreboding reaction. The grip of Eraserhead's quirk, more constricting than any ropes, wavering faintly around the prison he had constructed around you; the distinct buzzing in your hands returning for a mere instant before flickering out again.

   Now that was interesting.

   "Should watch what you're saying," the pro-hero sounded gruff, voice tinted by a new kind of intensity.

   Like a shark smelling the smallest whiff of blood, you couldn’t help your instincts urging you to dial down. 

   "Always knew you hero types had a hard-on for the power trips. Bet you were using all of this as a decoy. Is this when you strip me and hold me down? When you plow me into the floor of this alley and tell me to "behave or else"?" 

   You knew your jabs were going too far, getting too brazen… yet as much as you enjoyed making the Pro visibly uncomfortable, once he decided to close the distance between you two there was little you could do to stop yourself from flinching. A fire inhabited his expression, the vivid brightness emanating from his stare not only intimidating, but downright frightening too.

   "Are you trying to rile me up?" His hand gripped your face with force, bandages shifting until they were enveloping your neck, holding you up and forcing you to reciprocate his glare, "What do you think will you achieve by antagonizing me even more, V/N?"

   You just looked at him through your eyelashes, still somehow managing to play up the innocent act through the layers of fear settling in. And as expected, it only served to further his irritation, calloused fingers digging even deeper into your cheeks and coaxing the claws of terror to continue trailing their nails all around you. 

   "I’m just trying to understand you, Eraserhead." The way you smiled at him was defiance personified despite it all, your tongue wetting your lips while you caught his eyes following the movement. There was the slightest give of his quirk again, a fluctuation in his concentration informing you that you were finally on the right track. "And I think, given the fact that I haven’t been cuffed yet, that we can both still come to a mutual agreement."

   Fingers twitched around your jawline, muffling your words while your sides were squished together harshly. But even manhandling you, the Hero couldn’t hide the spark in his eyes, an interest you foolishly believed to be ignited by your former comments. 

   "So you are indeed trying to rile me up then." It was an assertion, not a hint of doubt in his leisure intonation. 

   Instead of replying this time, you just slowly blinked his way, observing your imitation of meekness reflected in a gaze that refused to abandon yours. It had been so long since you last tried to play coy, so long since you needed to depend on anything besides your own strength and ruthlessness. You couldn’t help the thrill you got from playing the role. 

   "Think you’ll get me distracted enough to break away, I bet." He was whispering directly against your skin after getting dangerously closer, the heat from his cushioned lips provoking an involuntary shiver. "Do you believe nobody else tried this approach before, little villain?"

   You gulped, feeling caught before you even had time to properly set the stage. 

   "I wasn’t..."

   "Weren’t what, trying to seduce me?" There was a sense of levity hidden somewhere under his timbre, stored between words that kept dragging on in a mantle of aloofness. "Or did you not mean any of your words?"

   When you didn’t reply, you could feel the cruel smile resurfacing against your earlobe. 

   "If I lift your dress right now, do you think I’ll have my answer?" His question sounded almost casual, as weightless as your alias had been when he first called you out. 

   Your heartbeat sang in your chest, an anxious hummingbird trapped inside your ribcage. Because you knew the answer, you both did. 

   When the hand still clutching your bunched hosiery came up to press the fabric against your thighs, you could not help the gasp that escaped you.

   "I bet all those things you were just saying…" His tone drifted off as the stockings were slowly guided up the vastness of your legs, fingers barely grazing you through the thin layer of the stolen undergarments. He was thoroughly teasing you, enjoying the manner in which your expression contorted in response. "You just want me to do them to you, don’t you?"

   Even if you would’ve wanted to object, the pressure of his nylon-covered digits finally reaching your dampened panties was enough to kill any possible refusal. He traced the outline of your slit, soft touches running across it with deceitful lightness, and your mind became positively staggered as you were rendered overwhelmed by his actions. 

   You didn’t have to worry about his next move for long, either, because barely a moment’s notice passed before his entire palm was eagerly covering your crotch. And the new way in which he groped you was demanding, the heel of his wrist putting just enough pressure to drag a shamefully loud mewl from you. 

   The douchebag even had the gall to laugh at your reaction, the sound of his mirth prompting you to writhe even harder as he continued to feel you up through your rapidly soaking underwear. 

   "Knew you’d be a slutty one." His breath was hoarse against the side of your face, the stubble on his jaw scratching against your skin in a way which made you wonder how it would feel pressing elsewhere. "So fucking wet, it must hurt being this eager."

   He didn’t specify what exact kind of pain he meant, whether your growing need for release or the insufferable blow all of this represented to your pride. Somehow, though, you had an inkling that he was referencing both. 

   "Wanna show me just how needy you are?" His words echoed with each laboured breath of his, one of the few signs you had that he was clearly very much into the whole affair despite his detached demeanor. "Maybe you could show me more of your adorable little cries." 

   As Eraserhead rutted his palm against you another time, you found your hips lowering down to chase the feeling much to your own chagrin, more moans making their way out of your panting mouth while he coaxed you to sing the notes of his preferred melody. 

   It was true that you hated his guts… but another fact was that you hadn’t had action in a long while either. Even with the threat of imprisonment hanging over you, you could not deny how desirable the idea to get to cum against that veiny hand of him was, to grip those muscular shoulders as you reached the perdition he was so tantalizingly offering. 

   Decidedly forgotten was your plan of you being the one distracting him. For fuck’s sake, you really were a needy whore. 

   "Why not show me how you cum for me in this alley, if you’re really that desperate?" His words kept getting cruder, his tongue tracing a languid stripe from your earlobe down to the side of your neck, a beautiful path of distractions threatening to dip your sanity even lower. "Be the dirty little villain that I know you are, doll."

   But just as soon as the stimulation was hitting you a second time, so it suddenly disappeared. One second fingers were flexing against your tender flesh, coated by your arousal through the layers of fabric separating you and fluttering with the promise of an impending release, and then the very next instant you were left to whimper (a villain like you, actually whimpering!) in the unbearable wake of their absence. 

   When your eyes searched for the Hero’s again, in his blown out pupils you could only dare interpret part of the enjoyment he was getting from watching you scram for his touch, beautifully bold handwriting spelling out arousal for all to read.  

   Watching you so easily betray your own ego after all of your lip service? More than simple music to his ears, it was an entire sonnet. 

   "But, now that I think of it, you were the one trying to walk away free from this. So why should you be the one getting pleasured?"

   Even in your precarious situation, you couldn’t help rolling your eyes. 

   "Are you fucking kidding me?" Apparently, your discomfort at being denied was enough to forego your better senses.

   The bindings contracted around you in quick response to your insolence, your neck being craned even further and your arms mishandled until they were behind your back instead of at your sides, a sharp pain blooming from your shoulders as you struggled to adjust.

   Treated like this, he really did make you feel like a helpless little doll. (Goddamn, that thought alone was enough to have your juices gushing again, the trails of your excitement starting to make a mess of your inner thighs.)

   "You don’t get it, do you?" He asked in a despondent voice, unblinking eyes still refusing to abandon your face as he elaborated, "you should already be on your way to some second-rate villain prison, cuffed and muzzled and someone else’s problem."

   At his reminder of what you believed to be your impending fate, the mocking pout on your face transformed into a retelling of real horror. Because your spotless reputation was the one trick in your book that had managed to give you a sliver of notoriety over the rest of the unremarkable criminals, much more significant than any quirk or grandiose crime. 

   So for someone like you to lose that? You might as well hang up the villain costume and retire, for all anyone would care. (And yes, you had been called an attention whore a lot throughout your life, but who could blame you when you couldn’t help but thrive on it?)

   Sensing your spiraling thoughts, the Pro raised his eyebrows in an almost pitiful stint, as if he was truly empathizing with the agonized look of your face. 

   "I know you don’t want that, doll." As his declaration dragged on, the grip that had been steadying your jaw was swapped instead for the peculiar feeling of damp fabric —your pantyhose being pushed against your cheek and spreading your own juices around, all while Eraserhead intently studied the new wave of disgust coloring your features. "So why not show me that even a villain slut like you can behave? Give me a reason to believe that and..." The slickered garment was now pressing to your closed lips, your eyes starting to water with the weight of the humiliation you were being made to endure. "Maybe then I’ll consider letting you go."

    You knew he was lying, had every right to doubt the sincerity of his promise and, in its place, conclude he just meant to take advantage of you in your desperate state and then leave you for the pigs to find anyway. 

    You knew all of that, and yet you still opened your mouth and allowed him to do as he pleased. When he worked the pair of soiled stockings inside, you had troubles recognizing the pathetic sight being reflected your way from the wild hue of his gaze. 

   For someone who had always prided herself in being a predator, you had never looked more like prey.

   "Fuck, that’s it, doll." He pushed the piece further with his fingers, forcing you to stretch your lips until your jaw started to hurt from the strain. His fingers swirled inside, pressing the soaked material against the flat of your tongue and instructing you to eagerly lick it.

   You had never felt as debased in your entire life, being forced to choose between savoring your own arousal while tied up in an alley or ruining a reputation you had fought so earnestly to maintain. 

   (And yet your thighs were pressing together now, attempting to create some meager friction to alleviate a yearning that did nothing but shift, demand, grow.)

   "Look at you cleaning up your own mess," he almost sounded proud of you as you kept dutifully sucking, his other hand brushing your hair away from your shoulders in a strangely consoling way. "Seeing you all obedient like this, one could be fooled into thinking there is yet hope for reform."

   By the time the Hero finally took his hand away, bunching up the stockings before fitting them into one of the hidden pockets of his dark costume, you thought you could discern a mocking smile through the clouds of tears.

   "But now, now, doll… are you gonna keep crying or do you wanna try and take proper care of me next?"

   Not finding it in yourself to raise your voice again, you instead opted to wet your lips hesitantly as you awaited for him to elaborate further. There was a question dying to be asked, struggling somewhere alongside the myriad of insolent retorts and insults you wished you could swing the Hero’s way without being harshly reprimanded. 

   "I wouldn’t call that proper exactly," a chuckle reverberated from the back of his throat, gravely and dark as he misrepresented your movements. Fingers still slick from your saliva caressed your bottom lip, massaging it in a way which played straight into the undermining tilt of his words. "Although I’m sure you must be dying to wrap your pretty lips around my cock. Would give you a good reason to stay quiet, uh?"

   You really had been intending not to fall for his obvious goading, not trying to give the Pro anymore reasons to be harsh with you (or even worse, give him an excuse to leave you alone and to a fate worse than his company ever would be). 

   Had tried so hard too, but the cocky villain in you could only take so much degradation before it snapped. 

   "Goddamn it, are you trying to fuck me or bore to death?" As for the slight quivering in your voice, you dearly hoped he wouldn’t pick up on it. 

   Predictably enough, that slip earned you another harsh tug from the capture weapon, your whole body pulled back until you thought you were about to be snapped. 

   "I was just about to praise you for being all sweet for me, V/N." The switch from his pet names to your alias felt like a bucket of ice being dumped on you, voice a slow drawl while he tugged once more from your bottom lip, but this time harsh enough to have you wincing. "I’m trying to teach you how to be a proper girl, so don’t make me regret it. Or would you prefer to go take a prolonged vacation in a holding cell?"

   He already knew your answer judging by the way his eyes coldly studied you, unearthing the secrets you uselessly attempted to hide with an ease that unnerved you (and, as much as you loathe to admit, fascinated you). 

   When he tugged at your mouth again, nails sinking just enough to be noticeable, you knew he was expecting a verbal answer. And a nice one, at that. 

   "Then fucking get on with it…" Words slurred at the end, caught up in the increasingly somber aura of your captor before you swallow thickly, quickly adding as an afterthought, "Please."

   At that, his scowl receded enough for some satisfaction to find its way back into his grimace.

   The more you struggled, the sweeter your surrender became.  

   "Not perfect, but better," he conceded with a thoughtful hum.

   If you had properly studied just who he was beyond his active Heroism, then you would’ve understood just how accustomed he was to insubordination. If anything, your act only served to make him feel more at home.

   You had barely any time to wonder about whatever he had planned next though, because in an instant that damned contraction of his was moving you around once more, twisting you until you were facing the brick wall of the alleyway with heaving breaths. 

   Your legs were now maneuvered until you were forced to keep them apart just a smidgen, the new inviting space between your thighs surely a most intoxicating promise for the sick man manhandling you. And your back experienced pain afterwards too, harshly pushed until you had no option but to allow yourself to be pressed against the dirty walls; As a result, you found yourself with your ass backed up and for the world to see, the frilly skirt of your dress caught somewhere between all the movements.

   Yet even being roughed up as you were, when a hand reached out to tug your ruined underwear away you couldn't help greedily rutting into it, too worried by the fire gathering in your lower belly to care about maintaining a semblance of the reluctance you would later claim to have experienced. 

   It was almost comical for the Hero to observe the pathetic image you were now serving up on an ornate platter —especially when compared to the list of deviant crimes and horrors your spreadsheet of accomplishments preached. For all intents and purposes, you really were a horrible, messed up individual…

   So it was a wonder why his mind had kept supplying him with the same descriptor ever since he first saw you, the same sweet little word that he thought might as well be written all over your skin for how accurate it described you.

   A cute little doll (soon to be his cute little doll). Despite believing himself to be a fairly responsable Hero, the man had never wanted to play with anything as much as he did with you.

   The sound of a zipper being lowered was alarmingly loud in the emptiness of your surroundings, as loud as a wail to your sensitive ears. When you squirmed below your restraints, nonetheless, you could no longer pinpoint whether it was from unadulterated fear or a sick sense of anticipation.

   How easy it had been to break you, even if you would never recognize it openly.

   "Knew you were into it, and now watch your ass trembling in excitement for me." He was chuckling again, not pretending like the cruelty coating his words had any other intention but to degrade you further. It had been just his luck, to find the one villain who just so happened to enjoy it. "I really hit the jackpot with you, didn’t I, doll?"

   When the lewd sound of one of his fists pumping his cock reached your ears, you didn’t even bother disguising the whines of complaint refusing to be contained any longer. 

   "Stop..." Words spilled from clenched teeth, growled out with an annoyance that no longer sought to defy, "Fucking..." but to demand instead, "Teasing."

   "Hmm, that’s cute. Why don’t you try begging me though?" His cadence was growing as bated as his breath, littered by intermittent curses as his eyes dined on the sight of your glistening core, held up and offered up for him to do as he pleased. "Beg for me to use you, and if you put on a good enough show I might just let you off."

   Another shiver rampaging it's way through your body, an exhilaration that could not be entirely pinpointed. 

   "Please…" You started, rough intonation dripping with venom —But Eraserhead didn't seem to mind the sardonic nature of your pleading though, not as you heard the litany of damnations being spilled from his lips. Your shameful excitement, your bitterness, your hatred… he would feast on it all and do it gladly. "Get on with it, bastard. Didn't anyone tell you never to toy with your food?"

   A low murmur was your only response at first, followed by the lewd sound of his pre-cum covered cock being harshly jerked.

   "Hmmm, aren't you being a bit too demanding…" His steps echoed again behind you, his unoccupied hand coming up to massage your ass with a rather firm grip. "Even with the begging, I don't think you've learned your place yet."

    When he planted a slap in the same place he had been eagerly caressing before, sharp and flaring up your nerves with the sting of pain and humiliation, you couldn't stop your scream from turning into a wanton little moan halfway through. 

   Even if he was hitting you, it still meant he was touching you, and so enticingly close to the place you actually needed tended to.

   "Do it…" your breathing was too heavy to speak in full fluid sentences, body flushed and mind filled with the buzzing of desire. "Do it again, fuck."

   You were still not begging him like he asked, but it seemed like your choice of words still greatly pleased him. Another slap rained on your ass, his big warm palm massaging the same reddening spot right after.

   And he kept going, the spanking echoing through your body and sending both pain and pleasured shivers up your spine—lewd sounds mixing in with the increasing pace of his other fist pumping his cock. Even without directly touching you, your pussy clenched and weeped with each firm hit. 

   "Damn, it's my first time meeting such a masochistic whore." Punctuated by his most painful slap yet, the globes of your ass left trembling and a furious shade of crimson to match his lust-filled eyes. "I can see why you've managed to stay free for so long, little villain." The debasement, paired with the pain of his firm strikes, had you moaning even louder. You couldn't even recognize your own sounds, nor the thrills you felt at this entire fucked up ordeal. "Wonder how many other Pros you showed this beautiful sight to."

   Even through the fog of sensations impeding you from being wholly coherent, though, you still couldn't help but want to set the record straight. 

   "None, fuck…" Words merging into another expectant whine when you felt his hand gripping your flesh again, only this time he was kneading you in an oddly tender way —Urging you on, fingers creeping closer to your needy hole. "I'm not… usually in the business of fucking Heroes. Shit, I hate this…" 

   But you didn’t, and when you were surprised by the warmth of his naked erection barely grazing the sensitive outer lips of your cunt, you couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped you. 

   "Goddamn, V/N, even while you're an ill-mannered brat you still manage to know just what to say." 

   And then the older man was sliding his cock in the juncture of your thighs, teasing your core by pressing against it while grunts began to escape him. You thought you could cry from having him so close yet still not where you wanted him, but then his shallow thrusts against your legs proved to be much more stimulating than you first expected. 

   The fat head of his cock even managed to somewhat stimulate your puffy clit with its movements, pushing in its direction as your essence continued to leak out and cover you both. And It was so absolutely debauched, to think a Hero was using your thighs like a fucktoy while you were tied down and unable to stop it....

   But it felt so good. Even without him actually in you, you had never been this turned on before. 

   "More… ughhh," you were now screaming with the side of your face pressed flush against the disgusting brick walls, needy sounds filling the night and making it privy to your descent into madness.

   Another thrust, this time angled just precisely enough not to caress your pleasurable areas. Punishment, you feverishly thought while you attempted to wiggle your ass, eager to force more of that delicious friction you were quickly becoming hypnotized by. 

   "Now, V/N," his gruff voice had adopted a mocking tone of reprimand as he continued to rut against the soft skin of your thighs. "Haven't I taught you anything, yet? If you want something…" The hand returned to your heated skin, digits underneath you both spreading your pussy enough for the chilly night air to send shivers straight to your core. "You gotta say please."

   And say please you did. Screamed it even, so eager for more and already far beyond feeling any embarrassment. 

   He didn't fuck you, not like you really wanted, but suddenly his thick shaft was sliding between your lips as his capture weapon aided him in angling your body just right, pulsing against your hole while he found a new rythimn. When both of his hands returned, one of them held you back to make the process even easier while the other swiftly joined his cock in tending to your eager pussy.

   So lost were you in the new raw excitement seizing you, in the knowledge of just how messed up you both were for engaging in such debauchery —so distracted that you didn't even notice the faint buzzing returning to your arms, the vibrancy of an old frequency being reactivated and allowed to encapsulate you again.

   (You didn’t notice, but fuck if it didn’t made your orgasm all the sweeter.) 

   You were cumming like that, your moans resembling squeaks, your body feeling closer to a used fucktoy than a human being. The hero kept rutting against you, the joint efforts of his cock and hand mercilessly continuing to abuse your spasming cunt while your cries filled the space with their decadence. 

   You felt dirty, guilty, maybe even a little ashamed as the orgasm briefly gave you a clarity of mind your arousal had clouded.

   And yet, despite it all, it had been the best you felt in years, possibly ever. As the Pro now tugged your hair, forcing you to wrench your neck just enough to look at him over your shoulder, you couldn't help licking your lips in expectation of what he had in store next.

   "You're gonna show me your face next time you come, little villain." He gave you just enough time to nod, eyebrows drawn as your pleasure got impossibly dragged out by the stimulation he still bathed you with. "And you're gonna keep begging me, keep showing me why you deserve to stay free, okay?"

   It was commendable, how collected he managed to sound while thrusting into your thighs like that, the sounds of skin slapping against skin driving each of his words home. 

   "Yes, fuck, whatever you want…" Despite your senses shortly coming back earlier, you were still too far gone to rethink your poor choices. You just knew you wanted more, and so you asked for it. "Just give me more, please."

   So fucking obedient. If your parents could see you know, their failure of a villain daughter being all proper and learning to beg for what she wanted? Well, perhaps saying they'd be proud was a stretch, considering you were also the one getting fucked in the middle of a filthy alley. 

   What you hadn’t expected, however, was just how well your begging would work. 

   Because the next thrust of his shaft was not between your legs, but aimed to finally breach your needy cunt instead, easily filling you up in one go with how utterly soaked in both of your juices you already were. The girth of him had you already clenching with renewed vigor, his hand stopping his assault on your clit just to give you enough time to truly savor the new intoxicating sensation.

   And when your eyes found his again, so drunk on the waves of pleasure you were that you also failed to notice the lack of scarlet coloring the orbs boring into yours, now inescapable voids of dark desire and a type of intense fixation you thought hadn't been there moments ago. 

   (Or maybe it was always there, and you had been too busy with your own turmoil to notice the clues being left by your so-called enemy).

   "Want me to stuff you properly?" His guttural question hit you at the same time as his sharp movements found your tender spot with experienced ease, walls tightening around him while your entire body struggled to continue holding yourself upright, relying more and more on the capture weapon to keep you from toppling over. 

   The binds still hurt from how tightly they wrapped around you, bruises sure to be left on their wake, but by that point you weren't so sure anymore the sting was an entirely bad thing. If anything, it just made the pleasure all the sweeter by comparison.  

   "Want me to fill you with so much cum that you reek of hero cock for the rest of the week?" He laughed while he regurgitated some of your words from earlier, the hand pressing against your lower stomach caressing you with a distinct sense of ownership as he elicited another loud moan with a sharp movement of his hips. 

   Noticing you reacting not only to his actions but to his quips, you could practically hear the self congratulatory smirk as he spoke next.

   "Bet the other villains would love knowing how much of a cockhungry whore you turned into too, doll. Talk about fraternizing with the enemy."

   And he was right, in a way. Because what would your fellow villains think, seeing you being wrecked by one of the most infamous Pros in the business, lowering yourself to pleading and screaming as he rearranged your insides. 

   Would you get called a disloyal whore or just a plain traitor? Not only would your spotless reputation and the myth you had fought to build collapse, but from its ashes your eternal shame could be erected. 

   A shame that would tower over you, looming around you while the eyes of your peers followed you everywhere. You could even picture the jests veered your way, the looks of utter disgust and ridicule...

   Somehow, the idea of anyone finding out only made your screams grow louder, impossibly more fervent. 

   "Fucking… get on with it."

   However, his rhythm was rapidly interrupted after your jab, his cock pulling out almost entirely as your core convulsed with the sudden staggering emptiness it was left to grapple with. More whimpers, struggling against the set of eternally unforgiving ties encasing your body. 

   "But you're making me do all the work, little one" Another slap shook your entire frame as it landed heavily on your still pained cheeks. You were so sore, both from the previous set of hits and from the sheer exhaustion starting to set in, muscles tight and resentful from the awkward positions your body had been manhandled into. "If you really want to continue this, how about you start doing some of the heavy lifting, uh?" Just like before, his palm started massaging the tender spot he had just smacked, fingers digging into your supple flesh being as close to comforting as the Pro seemed capable of. "Show me just how good you can be."

   And you could've argued, truly, could've even attempted to hold onto the last vestiges of your pride…

   You could’ve done a lot of things, but the truth was that when his weapon relented its hold at last, retreating from the underside of your knees and giving in just a smidge for the first time since you had been captured, you didn't waste any seconds before you were chasing after your high with renewed vigor.

   Greedily sinking into him with an obscene sigh, you audibly marveled at the curve of his member being deliciously imprinted in your insides. While you copied the cadence the Hero had previously employed, his grip on your lower belly fluttered, almost like he couldn't decide whether to take control back or allow you to humiliate yourself further with your own zealousness. 

   It seemed like the later prospect won him over in the end though, because he remained almost impassively still as you did all the work needed to bring you both deliriously close to your peaks. 

   The sight must've been spectacular, watching you, renown villain V/N, so thoroughly broken and willing to heed his every command. Impaling yourself on his cock, moaning and continuing to beg him for something you were already taking for yourself. 

   If he died right then and there, he doubted Heaven wouldn't have as much appeal as the scene still unfolding before his eyes. (But again, considering his actions, Heaven wouldn't really be the right place for either of you.)

   You were just about to reach your second orgasm, toes curling inside your shoes, fists clenched and a face that spelt poetic extasis. Angling the way you took his cock, every single movement driving him painstakingly deeper, slamming against a spot that made you imagine the stars falling from the sky all around you, their light being the one bathing you instead of the malfunctioning street lamps. 

   So goddamn close…

   Only to have him pull out again, this time completely. You were clenching against nothing, all stimulation stolen from you, and the bitterness of a ruined orgasm promptly dragged curses and complaints out of you before you could even think to stop them. 

   Eyes searched his, urgently seeking an explanation for his withdrawal only to find his glare fixated instead on that same dirty pair of stockings that had started it all. 

   Eraserhead must have taken the garment out of his pocket sometime while he fucked you, unfolding it from its scrunched up state until the crotch was visibly presented for both of you to admire, dark sheer fabric still stained from a mix of your arousal and spit. 

   When the Pro looked at you again, a beautifully dark smile topped his attractive face. He looked painfully content, the way he studied your own mortified expression reminding you of an artist studying his masterwork. 

   "Only the truly obedient ones get their cunts filled." You noticed then how his other hand was jerking him off again, erection rubbing against the nylon undergarments in a most obscene depiction. Too bad you were too frustrated to appreciate any of it. "I don't think you've… hell, you haven't earned it yet, V/N."

    You didn't even notice you were tearing up from the annoyance until it was too late. And maybe that was what finally did it, seeing you actually crying at his refusal to breed you like the slut you both knew you were, writhing in exaggerated despair as you found yourself feeling jealous of a stupid pair of tights, because not long after your pathetic reaction the man was letting out a pained groan of his own and spilling himself all over the damned garment. 

   But instead of rubbing your wailing in your face after he came down from his own delicious high, last few spurts of cum slowing down to a halt, you were surprised instead by the weapon that had been binding you for the longest time finally retreating.

   As expected, you unceremoniously collapsed to the floor, feet now unprepared for supporting your weight and your entire being wholly exhausted after enduring the roughest fuck you had ever experienced. It hurt all over, although you weren't sure whether your still present longing wasn't what pained you the most. 

   When you looked up to the Pro again, trying to find an answer to the new freedom you were experiencing, you were surprised by having the cum-dripped stockings thrown in your face. 

   And quite literally so, the still wet seed dribbling down your cheek and into your trembling lips, all before you collected enough wits to grab the offending item and pull it down with an expression of unadulterated disgust. 

   "Sorry, doll, but you were pouting so irresistibly," The Eraser user actually laughed, this time the sound coming with an untroubled merriment you did not think he was capable of.

   He actually looked worn out while he tucked himself back into his costume, accommodating the pieces of clothing until all hints from your ravenous affair disappeared. The bandages were wrapping themselves around his neck once more, looking more like an extravagant scarf than the most precise set of inmovilazing gear you had ever endured. 

   However, something about his attitude had you forgetting all about his newest slight, much too worried by a new cause of worry. 

   "Hold on..."

   Eraserhead looked down at you from his place after you raised your voice, urging you to continue as he finished getting himself presentable. The air of nonchalance around him was almost more intimidating than any of the actual threats or vulgar comments he had voiced prior. Almost.

   "Are you…" you swallowed the sudden lump in your throat, voice still raspy and hoarse after what had just transpired. "Are you really letting me go?"

   The man just raised one of his eyebrows at that, eyes crinkling for the first time and looking strangely amused. 

   "Doll, I stopped exerting my quirk on you while I was still teasing you good and proper," he declared bluntly. When his orbs glimmered again, you now felt like an imbecile as you finally realized they had completely lost the reddish hue to them. "So you know what? I thought you deserved to get an out of jail free card for behaving yourself… even if you still need to work some more on your manners."

   To call your shocked expression dumbfounded would be a disservice. 

   When his now bottomless eyes bore into yours for one final time, all you could do was stare back in dazzled shock. Your quirk was back, the Pro himself had just confirmed it, and yet you were still nailed to the spot, still anticipating his next words without even thinking of attacking him in the meantime.

   One little tumble and you were already his brightest pupil yet. He was now so glad to have waited that long, it only made the outcome all the more fulfilling. 

   "You don’t need to be so surprised, Y/N, we'll be seeing each other soon,” He kneeled in front of you for an instant, both hands reaching out to hold up your face in a gesture more resembling a lover than… well, whatever the hell you two were. So entranced you were then, that the use of your real name barely even registered. “It’s been difficult to keep you away from trouble thus far,” his acknowledgment reverberated in the alley, its meaning something else lost to you as you couldn’t help but become entranced by the new peculiar softness he addressed you with, “but getting you like this now, seeing you break so easily… fuck, I’ll mold you right back up, doll, you don’t need to worry your pretty little head about anything else.”

   And just then, for the first time you realized, the Hero’s lips were brushing against yours gently, uncharacteristically careful as he kissed you slowly. Even his hands were tender while they guided you, treating you as if you truly were a doll that could just be snapped with a mere wrong movement. As if he hadn’t just been treating you like a dirty hole for him to use and abuse just short instants ago. 

   But at least he did not seem to care about the mess that was your face at the moment, about the cum stains or the still damp trails of tears. And, for whatever reason, you found yourself returning the gesture in kind, melting into the oddly affectionate touch of a man you were still halfway sure you loathed. 

   Even after he left you, alone and a mess still toppled over on the floor with the shadow of humiliation cloaking your shoulders, your fingers couldn’t help but touch your lips with a bizarre mixture of bewilderment and horror.

   He told me I would see him soon, your mind supplied as you found yourself irreparably fixating your stare on the pair of now completely ruined tights you were still holding onto. The fact that you felt any type of excitement about the notion did not fail to mortify you. 

   God, even for villain standards you were fucked. 

But it was okay, because misery loved company and, with time at his disposal and the right amount of coaching, Shouta was sure he could teach you to properly crave his soon enough.

— — — 

And, 8k of foul smut later, if y’all read through that whole thing... drop by my ask to recieve your congratulatory gold stars! ⭐ (jk but I do appreciate hearing y’alls thoughts, it’s what keeps me halfway productive 🖤)

Last but not least, very special thanks to my best pals @reinawritesbnha​, @snappysnapo​ and @drxwsyni​ (who actually proof read this and helped me out immensely with her Big Brain Feedback. A TALENTED ANGEL). 

[fruitcoops]

Hi!! So I was listening to paper rings by Taylor Swift today and the lyric 'I like shiny things but I'd marry you with paper rings' made me think of coops and o'knutzy. Could you write a prompt about this?! <3

This song is so perfect for Coops and it’s the best way to start of the long-awaited wedding series! Yay! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

Combined with:

1. Domestic Coops

2. Remus making fun of Sirius’ initials

3. Sirius trying to make Remus moan while he’s on the phone with his folks

4. From @colored-rain: Taking Hattie to the vet

TW for mild smutty content, taking a pet to the vet, and the inherent stress of wedding planning

I: Six Weeks Before the Wedding

“Where are we even going to do this?” Sirius asked, running a hand through his hair.

Remus shook his head silently, pressing his forehead into the wooden edge of the table. “What if we elope?”

“Celeste would skin us both.”

“True. Oh, god, my dad would cry if we did that.” Remus slid down in his seat and stared up with sad eyes. “Can’t we just be married already?”

“I could get tinfoil from the kitchen and just…” Sirius mimed wrapping it around his ring finger and Remus snorted.

“Baby, I would marry you with paper rings, but I think we want them to last.”

“You like shiny things!”

“I do, that doesn’t mean I want tinfoil on my hand for the rest of my life,” Remus laughed, pulling him in for a quick kiss. “Alright, let’s go through our list again. We agreed on small, right?”

“Just the team and families. We still want it to be outside?”

“Yep.” Remus checked off two boxes on the piece of paper they had been grappling with for the past four days. “Rings have already been ordered?”

“I’m doing that this afternoon. What kind of cake do we want?”

“Uhhh…an edible one?” Remus shrugged. “I don’t have a huge preference. Chocolate is really good but all the ones from the store are spongy.”

“Wow, an edible cake, so original,” Sirius teased. “We can ask Celeste what she thinks.”

“Good plan.” He paused for a moment. “Where outside will we do it? We need an actual venue. I think people would be upset if we just had a wedding in a public park.”

“The media would be all over it, too.” Sirius scrunched his nose up in thought just as their timer went off and both sighed as they headed for the door. “It’s going to be hard to focus on practice when we know next to nothing about the wedding we’ve been planning for over six months.”

“We’re disasters.”

II: Four Weeks Before the Wedding

“We’re not putting that on the cards.”

“Why not?” Sirius frowned and looked down at the mock-up invitation. “It’s our initials. It’s cute.”

Remus blinked at him. “Sirius. Your initials.”

“Do you not want my initials on our joint wedding invitation?”

“I would love to have your initials on our joint wedding invitation, except for the part where it’s the same acronym as ‘son of a bitch’.”

Sirius paused, then groaned and put his hands over his face. “Fuck, I forgot about that.”

“You forgot your own initials?”

“I forgot the son of a bitch thing!”

“Okay, I clearly don’t tease you enough for that,” Remus snickered, wrapping an arm around his waist to kiss his cheek. “Alright, attempt number eight is a bust.”

III: Three Weeks Before the Wedding

Sirius ran his fingers gently through Remus’ hair, feeling him shift in the darkness. “What’s on your mind, mon amour?”

“Are we changing our last names?”

“Did we…not discuss that?” Sirius wracked his brain, but it was so exhausted from wedding topics that he came up empty.

“I don’t think so.” Remus scooted around so he was on his side, facing Sirius. “Both our names are super connected to our jobs. Plus, Lupin-Black might be a little long for jerseys.”

“I’d rather not go through the whole name-change process.” There was a beat of quiet. “Though I do like the sound of Sirius Lupin.”

Remus’ breath audibly caught and he leaned closer to Sirius, nuzzling against his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

IV: Eighteen Days Before the Wedding

Remus’ back hit the mattress with a soft bounce that was quickly stilled by Sirius’ weight pressing him down by the hips, his mouth skimming along all the right places on Remus’ neck. “Yes,” he hissed as Sirius ground down, their bare chests bumping together. He dipped his hands beneath the waistband of Sirius’ sweats and he shivered, nipping the hinge of his jaw.

“Wait,” Sirius gasped, pulling back to straddle Remus’ waist.

“What? Is this a flamingo moment?” Remus panted, still buzzing with arousal.

“Did we invite your parents to the wedding?”

Remus stared at him in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I don’t think we did.”

“Sirius, you are literally about to—holy fuck, did we invite my parents?”

“I don’t know!”

Remus groaned and let his head fall back against the pillows before tapping Sirius’ hip and swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and dialed his mother’s number, taking a few deep breaths to collect himself as it rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, mom, how’s it going?”

“Oh, it’s going fine out here. How’s wedding planning?” Hope asked. Remus could hear her smiling.

“That’s what I’m calling about, actually. Did you—” He bit his lip as Sirius’ fingertips trailed up his thigh. “Uh, did you get an invitation?”

Hope was silent for a moment, save for a few rustling sounds. “Now that you mention it, I don’t think so. Lyall! Honey, did Re send us a wedding invitation?” There was a low humming noise as his father responded. “He says we didn’t get one.”

Remus winced. “Sorry about that. I can text you the details, if you want.”

“Will you mail one as well? I want to put it in our memory box.”

Sirius’ hand slid further along Remus’ leg, growing closer to his inner thigh by the second and doing nothing to quell his frayed nerves. “Yeah—yeah, mom, we totally can.”

“Are you alright? You sound a bit out of breath.”

“Hattie was running around and being a little crazy.” Remus covered the speaker with his hand and turned to glare at Sirius, who grinned and kissed his cheekbone.

“Okay,” Hope sounded skeptical. “So you’re not getting sick or anything?”

“Nope. Healthy as a horse.” The last word came out a little breathless as Sirius licked a stripe up his neck and bit down on the junction to his shoulder, making Remus’ eyes flutter closed. He smacked Sirius’ hand halfheartedly and felt him grin.

“How’s Sirius doing?”

“Fine, he’s fine. We’re a little stressed with the wedding planning and everything, but things are good here.” Really good, he thought as the heel of Sirius’ hand pressed down just next to his dick. He swallowed down a moan and squeezed his eyes shut. “Alright, I’ll text the details to you this afternoon love you mom bye.”

“Love you t—”

A millisecond after the call ended, Remus slammed his phone into the nightstand and pushed Sirius into the sheets, bracketing his face with his elbows. “What the fuck was that?”

“I’m just keeping things interesting.” Sirius tugged his lower lip between his teeth and smirked, which really left Remus with only one option: kissing him senseless until he couldn’t even remember his own name.

V: Three Days Before the Wedding

Sirius’ leg bounced up and down nervously and he gripped Remus’ hand as they waited in the lobby of the vet’s office. “She’ll be okay.” His voice was noticeably higher than usual and he cleared his throat. “She’ll be fine. It’s just a cough.” A cough that’s been going on for four and a half days.

Remus hummed his agreement, though he hadn’t stopped twisting Hattie’s leash in his hands since they arrived. “Just a cough. Probably a cold, or—or something like that.”

The doors ahead opened and both of them stood as Hattie trotted out next to the vet tech, who looked rather amused. “What’s wrong with her?” Sirius asked, scanning her for any signs of illness. “Is she alright?”

“She is a very talented actress,” the vet said, rubbing Hattie behind the ears. She whined pitifully and cuddled into Sirius’ side. “Have you two been busy lately?”

“We’re planning for our wedding.” Remus looked as confused as Sirius felt. “Why?”

“Because Miss Hattie here is one of the healthiest, snuggliest dogs I’ve ever seen.”

“But she was coughing.”

“She was faking.” The vet knelt next to her and petted down her back, raising an eyebrow. “Weren’t you, munchkin?”

“Hattie!” Sirius exclaimed, torn between relief and shock. “You little monster!”

Remus frowned and tapped her forehead lightly as he slid her leash on over her head. “We were so worried about you! Why would you do that?”

“She’s probably been sulking because you’re busy with wedding stuff,” the vet said with a smile. “Quite the drama queen you’ve got there.”

“Tell me about it,” Sirius huffed as he kissed her head. “Don’t ever do that again, young lady. You’re in big trouble when we get home.”

“Thank you for your help,” Remus said, shaking the vet’s hand. “We really appreciate it and we’re so sorry for wasting your time.”

“Are you kidding? She was the best part of my day,” he laughed. “All the other techs can’t stop talking about Hattie cuddles now. Have a good one, you three.”

+1: The Lions, the Media, and the Locker Room

Word spread like wildfire in media circles, and the rumor mill had never worked harder once news of the Black-Lupin wedding came out.

Naturally, the Lions decided to have a little fun with it.

“Pots! Pots, what can you tell us about Black and Lupin’s wedding?” Four different microphones were shoved into his personal space, but James put on his best confused face.

“What wedding?”

A wave of murmuring spread through the reporters. “So you weren’t invited to Sirius Black and Remus Lupin’s wedding?”

“There’s a wedding?”

Across the room, two other interviewers mobbed Thomas Walker in his stall. “Talker, do you know anything about Black and Lupin’s wedding?”

“Who?” he asked with a perfect act of innocence.

“Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.”

He bit his lip. “I don’t think I know them, sorry. Are they fans?”

“Talkie!” Remus tossed him a towel from the adjacent stall, and he caught it with a grin.

“Heads up, Loops!” Talker threw it right back and headed toward the ice baths with a wink to the cameras. “Good chat, guys.”

One of the interviewers muttered under their breath and hurried over to Pascal, who was still unlacing his skates. “Dumo, when is the wedding between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin?”

Dumo frowned. “Quoi?”

“The wedding. You were invited, yes?”

“Desole, je ne parle pas l’anglais,” he said regretfully. “C’est un…wedding?”

“Yes, the wedding between your teammates.”

“These words, I don’t know them.” His French accent was almost comically thick as he shook his head. “Desole.”

Out of view of the cameras, Sirius gave him a thumbs-up and reached over to high-five Pots.

[cherienymphe]

Protect & Serve V (Steve Rogers x Reader)

WARNINGS: Cop!Steve, NON-CON, mentions of violence and murder and assault

IF ANY OF THIS OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE DNI

➥ {page breaks done by @whimsicalrogers}

summary:  escaping an ugly past, you have no choice but to return home. While much has remained the same, Officer Rogers is a new addition who has won over the hearts of the town in your absence. And no one believes you when you start to see him for who he really is

~

When you woke up, you felt like you’d slept for days. Knowing Steve, and having no clue as to what he injected you with, that might be true. You had dry mouth, that much you could tell, and your head still felt like it weighed a ton. Peeling your eyes open was rather difficult, but when you did, you realized that you were in a different room from the one before.

You pushed yourself up to lean on your forearms, looking around and listening. The house was quiet, a far cry from the last time you were here. You guessed that all of Steve’s guests were gone, and you didn’t know if you should be relieved or not. You didn’t know why you thought their presence would protect you when it wouldn’t. They had literally helped Steve recapture you after also watching your unconscious form be carried into his house to begin with. Maybe it was better that they were gone…

Now you could start formulating another escape without them around to catch you.

A stabbing pain struck you behind your eyes, and you squinted, bringing your fingers up to pinch the bridge of your nose. You cursed Steve to hell and back. Why had he given you the option of walking back with him when he was going to do what he wanted anyway? Did he get some sick pleasure out of it all?

Speaking of pleasure, you noted the soreness in between your thighs and wondered if Steve had done a lot more to you while you were out. He’d said that it wasn’t his style, but he couldn’t be trusted. You pressed your thighs together and winced, sitting up. Just as you considered what to do next, the bedroom door opened.

You sharply inhaled as Steve filled the doorway, heart rate picking up at the sight of him. Was it crazy that you were more terrified of him than you had been of your ex-husband? At least with Killian, you had grown to know what to expect. Steve had shattered every one of your expectations.

“You’re awake,” he said, stepping further into the room.

You didn’t know what to do, so you just stared at him as he approached. For your own sake, you needed to keep your eyes on him at all times. Escape was your top priority, and you had to think smart about it. He gripped your chin, turning your head to the side to gaze at your eyes, and hummed, clearly satisfied.

“You’ve been asleep for almost an entire day,” he informed you, grabbing your arm.

He helped you out of bed, and you let him. Your body was still fighting off whatever he gave you, and you stumbled. Steve was more than happy to catch you though, arm thrown around you, hand digging into your shoulder as he leaned you into his side.

He was patient as he helped you out of the room and down the stairs. The smell of food hit you, and you sniffed, stomach grumbling. Steve heard it and chuckled.

“I made breakfast,” he said, leading you into the kitchen.

A modest dining table was on the far side, and your eyes fell to the food laid upon it. You couldn’t trust him, having no idea as to what he wanted from you, so there was no telling what was in the food. However, you couldn’t afford to not eat. Steve turned his back after helping you sit down, and you glanced through the living room to look at the lake on the other side of the window. Getting across that lake was your best chance…

Too busy staring, you didn’t notice him approach until your hands were being handcuffed to the arms of the chair. You gasped, and he did the same with your ankles. Forgetting about your injury, you jerked your legs, only to cry out at the pain that traveled through your ankle. Steve hummed at that, sitting next to you.

“You gave Bucky and Sam hell. Thor too,” he added.

You watched as he picked up some scrambled eggs on a fork before bringing it to your lips. Realizing that you didn’t have much of a choice, you reluctantly parted them. The food tasted good enough, and he fed you again.

You licked your lips.

“You sound surprised,” you whispered, eyes meeting his.

A faint smirk was on his lips, and he chuckled.

“Not surprised…impressed. I like a fighter,” he said, reaching out to grab his glass of water.

He never broke his gaze from over the rim of the glass, and you blinked.

“…but I could tell that from the first moment I met you. So reluctant to accept a ride from a nice small-town cop-.”

“There isn’t anything nice about you,” you sneered.

Steve chuckled, nodding fondly.

“I suppose you’re right about that,” he agreed. “Nevertheless, the average person doesn’t pick up on that. Of course…you would…”

You glanced away as he fed you again.

“…tell me about him,” he eventually said.

You looked back to him with a frown. You knew who he was talking about, and your heart clenched. He pressed his elbows into the wood of the table, hands clasped together as he eyed you.

“Your ex-husband,” he elaborated.

You heaved a deep sigh, frustration coloring your tone.

“Why?”

“Because I want to know,” was his simple response.

You swallowed, a shiver climbing up your spine as you thought about the other blond man in your life.

“What…what do you want to know?” you wondered with a shrug.

He reached out to brush a finger down the side of your face, running it over your bottom lip.

“Tell me why you stayed,” he quietly demanded.

Figuring there was no harm in humoring him, you answered.

“I…was afraid. I had nowhere to go and…part of me…felt like I was being punished. Like I deserved it…”

“For what?”

“For leaving my family and friends behind,” you murmured. “For ignoring them for years…”

Steve nodded at that, pulling his hand away.

“I am sorry about your family. I meant that when I told you that. They were good people,” he replied.

You blinked. Of course, he had known them. How could he not? It didn’t sit right with you that someone like him had interacted with your family…especially while you weren’t around. You wondered how he behaved towards them, if he ever made any of them feel as uncomfortable as he did with you.

“The funerals were lovely. Was he the reason you didn’t go?”

You suddenly found it hard to swallow, and tears kissed your eyes as he brought that up. He reached out to brush a rogue one away, and you jerked away from him. Missing the funerals of your family was definitely your biggest regret. Every time you thought about it, your hate for Killian grew.

You didn’t have to answer because Steve already knew.

“Bucky told me that you thought he was the one at your house every night. He said that you had feared he would find you,” he said, making you frown at the mention of the brunette.

You looked down when his hand found yours, brushing circles into the skin with his thumb.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore,” he murmured, and your frown deepened.

You clenched your jaw, biting back what you wanted to say, and seeing the look on your face made Steve laugh. You looked up at him, gaze cold.

“I know what you must be thinking…that I won’t get away with this…”

He took another bite, leaning back in his chair as he eyed you smugly.

“…but I will. Hell, I’ve gotten away with worse,” he chuckled.

Your brow twitched, and you narrowed your eyes at him, recalling something that Wanda had said.

“Peggy?”

You watched the way his face fell, and you continued.

“Wanda said she’d just…left right after the breakup. I never thought that seemed her style…”

Your tone was accusatory, and apparently with good reason. Steve slowly exhaled, straightening up as he rubbed his hand over his chin, elbow pressed into the table as his eyes gazed at something you couldn’t see.

“Peggy…was an accident,” he admitted, and genuine remorse registered on his features.

Remorseful or not, your eyes still widened as he confirmed what you had initially suspected but brushed off, convinced that your paranoia was getting the best of you. Now, you knew the truth. You weren’t just sitting with a kidnapper, but you were sitting with a murderer too.

“You see, I started having my fun before I came here. I’d help out unsuspecting girls in need. Sometimes they were homeless…sometimes they just needed a ride home…to the store…”

Horror filled you as he spoke, and you started to realize that you weren’t dealing with an amateur.

“They’d get in, and I’d offer them a bottle of water I kept inside.”

Of course, they would. Steve Rogers looked like the poster boy for good Samaritans everywhere. Those soft blue eyes could convince anyone. Said eyes met yours, serious.

“They’d always accept. Either out of genuine thirst or just to avoid being rude, I don’t know. I didn’t care. They’d be knocked out within minutes…”

You felt like you were going to be sick.

“…when I was done, I’d park at wherever they had wanted me to take them to. They’d eventually arouse, and I’d convince them that they had nodded off. None of them ever suspected, and if they did, what could they say?”

He rose an eyebrow.

“The friendly neighborhood cop, Officer Rogers, drugged and raped me?”

He scoffed, and you blinked away tears.

“…and Peggy?” you forced out.

Steve sighed.

“I got tired of the coldness and casualness of it all,” he said with a shrug. “I realized that I wasn’t getting any younger, and Peggy… She was so sweet.”

He sadly shook his head.

“Like every other woman in this town, she was itching at the chance to have me. But unlike the rest, she wasn’t bold about it. She was coy, and I liked that. It wasn’t long before I had her in the palm of my hands,” he chuckled at that. “Literally.”

Disgust churned in your stomach.

“She was everything I thought she’d be. Except…she wasn’t.”

When he looked at you again, his eyes were hard, face taut with tension as he recalled whatever memory you hadn’t been privy to.

“Peggy had plans,” he dragged out, voice low as he took another sip. “She wanted to achieve all of these great things…see the world…leave me.”

He huffed.

“We fought. Things got…physical, and the next thing I know, my hands are around her neck.”

You swallowed, tears spilling over now.

“Jesus,” he quietly scoffed. “I didn’t even realize until I let her go and she just…dropped.”

More tears fell, and he finally took notice. He reached over to wipe them, and you flinched.

“That’s right,” he hummed. “You grew up with her.”

He moved to feed you some more, but you shook your head, appetite lost. He let the fork drop before leaning back in his seat. He turned to look though the living room, eyes roaming over the lake through the window.

“She’s in that lake, you know. I think about her every time I look out onto it,” he quietly said, more to himself than you.

You sniffed, throat tight and chest burning. Fear gripped you, and you wondered if that was going to be your fate. Steve suddenly moved his chair closer to you, and you cried harder. He shushed you, reaching for you to wipe your face with his thumbs.

“That won’t be you. I promise,” he said as if reading your mind, hands resting on the sides of your face.

You shook your head.

“Why me?” you quietly asked him, no longer able to keep it in.

You had to know.

“I could see how broken you were,” he hummed, eyes roaming over your face. “…and I thought that I could fix you. That maybe we could fix each other, hmm? I give you the safety and security and love you’ve been craving for years, and you give me what I want.”

You frantically blinked, eyes searching his face.

“I could see that you wanted me too. Deep down, anyway. After all, I was a good guy. I’m sure Wanda told you something like that, didn’t she? That I would be good for you…and you had thought about it, considered it. I could see it in your eyes that night,” he continued. “Wondering what it would be like to be with a genuinely good guy…”

“I wasn’t ready,” you mumbled.

He took a deep breath.

“I know, but unfortunately for you… I don’t have much patience. At least not when it comes to something I know I want.”

“What…what do you want from me?” you finally wondered.

He let out a breath, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip as he stood, towering over you.

“I want you to look at me with complete adoration as I come inside of you. I want to come inside of you every night, calling you wife while I fill you with my children. I want to make love to you when you’re glowing and round with my child, but…right now…”

He reached for your plate again, bringing some more eggs to your lips.

“I want you to finish your food.”

Too stunned by his admission, you allowed him to feed you, fear gripping your heart at what would happen if you didn’t escape.

When you weren’t locked away in the room, and when you weren’t handcuffed at the table, Steve pretty much allowed you free reign. He was at your side at all times, of course, closely hovering. You figured it was best to seem cooperative. Of course, you didn’t think Steve was gullible enough to believe that you had accepted your situation. You both knew that you were just biding your time. It was only a matter of thinking of a way to escape before he thought of a way to stop you before you even tried.

You feared what he would do to keep you here…feared what he would do if he caught you trying to leave. You thought of Peggy, of how she had simply brought up the idea of leaving and had died for it. Steve’s desires weighed on your mind, and you knew that you only had so much time before he started to go through with them.

That second morning, you had woken up to the feel of a hard chest pressed against your back, a thick arm curling over your waist. It had taken you a moment to understand that the second room you had woken up in was his room. You had jerked in his grip, attempting to get away from him, but your movements had aroused him…in more ways than one.

His hold tightened, pulling you closer, and he groaned as sleep began to leave him. You could feel him poking against you, hard and hot, and you had panicked. You fought to get away from him, and he swiftly pushed you to lie on your back, settling in between your legs. Your hands, having attempted to push him away, were pinned between your bodies as he kissed you.

You gasped against his mouth, and his tongue slipped past your lips, tasting the inside of your mouth. His arms were pressed down on either side of you, caging you in, and you felt like you were suffocating. Steve paid no mind to your aversion, moaning against your trembling lips. One of his hands reached down to wrap around your wrists, dragging them above you until they were pinned just below the headboard.

His other hand slid down your side, kneading your skin as it descended. He ground himself against you, his hardened member poking at you through his shorts. You only had on a nightgown that he’d left outside of the shower the night before. You had briefly wondered if it belonged to Peggy. This very thing was a pressing concern of yours when you noticed the absence of underwear.

His free hand moved to make a home in between your legs, fingers brushing against and poking at you. You bit his tongue, hard, and you tasted blood. He ripped his face away from you with a hiss, and your satisfaction was short lived when he shoved two fingers inside of you to the hilt.

Your chest arched, a choked sound escaping your lips as he roughly fingered you. You turned your head away when he leaned back down, and his lips met your cheek.

“Do that again,” he whispered, lips moving against your skin. “…and I’ll make you pay for it.”

You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt his fingers glide within you more easily now. He hummed, mouth trailing down to your neck, sucking on the skin. You squirmed beneath him, trying to fight off the pleasure that was being forced on you. Your legs kicked around him, and he widened his, pushing his knees underneath your thighs to restrict your movement.

You pushed your wrists against his hands as he added a third finger, stretching you out. A moan threatened to bubble out of your throat, but you swallowed it down, whimpering instead. Steve wasn’t pleased with that. He continued to thrust his fingers in and out of you, thumb coming up to brush against your swollen bud, and you whimpered again.

His hands tightened around your wrists as he sped up, almost painfully so, and he grinded against you. His lips attached themselves to your neck, pulling the skin in between his teeth, laving his tongue over you. He curled his fingers, and a broken moan finally slipped from your lips. He did it again and was met with the same result.

You turned your face as much into the pillow as you possible could, but Steve’s lips sought out your own, covering them in another kiss. He swallowed your moans, groaning into your mouth as your hips bucked against his hand. The hand that was holding your wrists down moved to intertwine with one of yours. You quickly pushed your free hand against his stomach, and when that didn’t work, you wrapped your hand around his wrist.

Your efforts were useless, Steve effortlessly working his fingers into you again and again.

“Stop,” you finally begged against his lips.

“Come for me, and I will,” he roughly replied.

He flicked his thumb over your bundle of nerves again, and you fell apart beneath him. He pulled back ever so slightly, your moans permeating through the air as he looked down at you. A few of his blond strands tickled your own forehead, and his nose kept brushing against yours as he worked you through your climax.

He looked down, eyes focused on the way you clenched around his fingers, hand a mess. Your chest heaved, breath shaky as he tightened his hold on your hand. You’d just woken up, but you felt tired all over again. He finally pulled his fingers out of you, bringing them to his lips and humming.

“Good girl,” he murmured as he kissed the corner of your mouth.

He rolled off of you, and you caught sight of the large tent in his shorts. You looked away, hurriedly pulling your nightgown back down, disgust coursing through you. You didn’t move as he strode into the bathroom and turned the shower on. You only did so when low moans reached you minutes later, and you moved to exit the room, but it was locked. You noticed what looked like a key pad on the wall next to the light switch. You hadn’t noticed it the day before.

Realizing that you’d have to sit here and listen to him get himself off, you sat back down, covering your ears. You were still in that position when he finally exited, a towel loosely hanging on his lips. You watched as he walked into the closet and came back out with clothes that were clearly meant for you. Again, you wondered if these belonged to Peggy. He ushered you into the bathroom before you could give it any more thought.

Your time in the bathroom was quick. Your quick search of the cabinets turned up nothing useful for you. No type of medication or sedatives or anything. You would have loved nothing more to spend all day in the bathroom, but you didn’t want to give Steve the opportunity to check on you and see you naked. The clothes fit perfectly, and it was then that you decided they weren’t Peggy’s.

The idea that Steve found clothes that were perfectly in your size made your stomach churn.

He was waiting for you when you got out, and he reached for you as soon as you were near. One hand went to the back of your neck, holding you beside him while the other went to what you thought was the keypad. You watched in awe as he pressed his thumb against it, and the pad flashed green just before he reached to open the door.

“Buck and Sam are coming by later,” he told as he guided you down the stairs. “I don’t think I need to remind you not to do anything stupid, do I?”

You shook your head.

“Anyway, just in case…”

He stopped before the door of the basement. Apprehension filled you as he opened it and guided you in, his chest brushing your back as you walked. You walked down some stairs, stopping at another door. This one was sturdier and had a bar that fell across it. You watched as Steve lifted the bar and pushed you in.

You stumbled, tripping over your feet before straightening yourself. You could feel Steve behind you as you looked around, and your heart dropped. It was a room, furnished with a single bed, a toilet, and a sink. You swallowed in fear, taking a step back, recoiling when you bumped into him.

Steve wrapped his arm around you, lips at your ear.

“I don’t want to have to put you in here, but I will if you force me to. Is that understood?”

You gave him a shaky nod. His hand closed around your throat, and you gasped, reaching up to grab his arm as he lifted you, your toes grazing the floor.

“I want to hear you say it,” he whispered.

“I understand,” you shakily replied, and satisfied, he let you go.

He spun you around, one hand on your jaw as he tilted your head, lips brushing your cheek and then your ear.

“Be good for me…and I’ll be good to you,” he quietly told you.

He didn’t wait for a response before guiding you up the stairs. You reached the hallway again just as a knock sounded on the front door. He pulled you along, keeping you at his side as he went to answer it.

Sam and Bucky had grins on their faces and greetings on their lips when Steve opened the door. However, Bucky’s face fell when his eyes met yours. You took in the red marks on the side of his face, and you couldn’t keep the smug expression off of yours even if you tried. He let them in, hand sliding around your waist as he closed the door.

You flinched, and he tightened his arm around you. Bucky looked over his shoulder at you, lips curled into a cruel smirk.

“Like the new look?” he wondered, gesturing to his face.

You simply looked at him, and both Sam and Steve chuckled.

“Maybe if you weren’t slacking…” Sam’s words trailed off as they entered the kitchen, but Steve pushed you towards the living room.

He pressed his lips to your forehead before pushing you down onto the couch. You swallowed, watching as he joined Sam and Bucky in the kitchen. Sam’s eyes were on you, and he turned to Steve.

“She’s quiet,” you heard him say.

“No. She’s not quiet,” Steve replied, calculating eyes meeting yours before he ran them over you.

He smirked.

“She’s smart,” he argued.

He looked away, and so did you, eyes looking through the backdoor to roam over the lake. If only you could get to the lake. When the time was right…

Sam and Bucky didn’t stay for long. Steve had waved them goodbye with one arm securely around your waist. You watched them get back into the car, the police cruiser, and your stomach churned, still in disbelief that the supposed good guys were nothing but scum.

You wanted to know how they could be okay with what Steve was doing. You wanted to know how they justified it, and unable to keep it in, you asked him. He didn’t respond right away, instead heaving a sigh as he pressed one hand into the wall beside your head, caging you in.

“After Peggy, I went back to my…casual encounters…”

You frowned at how he worded it, and he chuckled at that.

“…not often like I did before, but just enough to satisfy me… They caught me one day…”

He smiled as if he were thinking back on a fond memory, and you were almost sorry you’d asked.

“They wanted in on it too.”

Your eyes widened as they met his gaze, and your lips parted as you registered what he was saying. He reached up to brush his thumb over your trembling lips, his own parting.

“Eventually Thor got roped in too. His brother Loki prefers to sit out on the festivities, but he doesn’t mind. I don’t think you’ve been properly introduced to them,” he added. “Loki is a lawyer, and Thor is a cop in the next county over. They come over from time to time. Usually for a game.”

Now you were positive that you were going to be sick, and Steve continued.

“Thor wasn’t exactly the most inconspicuous about it when he’s here…and the boss caught on one day. We’re the best cops in town though. We keep these people safe and crime is practically nonexistent, so… So long as we’re discreet, he looks the other way,” he told you.

You turned away from him, tears in your eyes. He pressed his lips to your cheek, inhaling.

“Do you see, now? You have no one to run to. No one will help you,” he whispered darkly, hand landing on your shoulder, digging in, the other trailing to cup your ass. “We run this town…”

He pressed a leg in between yours, and you pushed against him, but he was faster. He grabbed your wrists, slamming them against the wall as he forced his mouth on yours. You kicked at his legs, but it was hard to do when one of his separated yours.

He pulled you away from the wall, lips never parting from yours as he turned and forced you back. You stumbled and tripped over your feet, trying to put as much distance between you two as possible. When that didn’t work, you brought your knee up, and Steve pulled back with a grunt.

Slipping out of his arms, you ran towards the backdoor, but his hands in your hair stopped you. You screamed as your scalp protested his tight hold, and he yanked you back into his chest, one hand closing around your throat. His chest heaved against your back, harsh breaths in your ear.

“Remember what I said,” he whispered, deep voice threatening. “Be good for me…and I’ll be good to you…”

You hadn’t realized you were crying until he walked you forward towards the couch. Your face crumbled as he pushed you down, one hand sliding up the thin dress he’d given you to wear. His hand grazed your bare slit, and you cried harder.

As awful as Killian had been, he’d never forced himself on you. It was crazy to think that in all the years you’d experienced violence at his hand, none of it had ever been sexual. That was a line that he had never crossed.

Steve flipped you, and you immediately fought against him as he ripped at your dress. He caught your wrists, holding them away as he dipped down to wrap his lips around one breast, bud hardened from the cool air in the house. He moved his head to give the other the same attention, and you cried out, pushing against him.

He suddenly jerked your wrist, and you cried out, pain traveling down your arm. He looked up at you, eyes cold as both desire and anger warred within them.

“I will break both of them,” he harshly said, making you freeze.

You couldn’t swim across the lake with a broken wrist, let alone two. He let you go, hands hovering over your own for a while to make sure you would behave. Pleased, he swiftly undressed, and you looked away from him, eyes on the ceiling. He tsk’d, reaching for your chin to turn your head.

“Eyes on me,” he ordered.

Too afraid to defy him, you watched as he grabbed your ankles, spreading and lifting your legs as he moved closer. He was hard and throbbing, bigger than Killian was, and you shook beneath him. There was no warning, no teasing… Steve slid into you with one thrust.

Having been wholly unprepared, you yelped in pain, head falling back on the arm of the couch. He rested your legs on his shoulders, leaning over you as he forced your knees to your shoulders. All of your movement was restricted, and the only thing you could do was press your hands into his waist. A few tears escaped your eyes, and Steve kissed them away.

His breath was shaky, blond hair hanging into his forehead as he savored the feel of you wrapped around him. He rested his forearms on the arm of the couch, caging you in, and you felt incredibly hot being surrounded by him. His lips brushed the corner of your mouth before moving them down to your jaw, nipping at the skin there.

He slowly pulled his hips back until nothing but the tip of him remained inside of you. He was slow to thrust too, and you squirmed, nails digging into his waist. The position you were in didn’t allow for you to do anything other than lay there and take it. Steve gradually began to pick up his pace, and the couch trembled from the force of his thrusts.

You wanted to close your eyes so badly, but you were afraid of what he’d do if you did. His lips never stayed in one place, kissing every part of your face that they could. Occasionally, his hand would brush over your cheek or shoulder. Sometimes he’d reach down and flick his fingers over you. Unable to do anything, you had no choice but to accept the pleasure he was forcing on you.

His skin slapped against yours in the quiet house, and you whimpered as he rested his forehead against yours, blue eyes boring into your own. As quiet as you tried to be, he could see the pleasure on your face, and the corner of his lips curved upwards. He kissed you, slow and soft, and you hated it. His lips didn’t part from yours as his thrusts grew erratic and choppy.

Too many things were happening at once, it was too intense for you, and you turned your head. Steve snarled at that and fisted his hand in your hair, yanking your head towards him again. He kissed you harder this time, slamming into you as he did so. Tears streamed down your face as you felt your stomach tightening, toes curling while you clenched around him.

“That’s it,” he murmured into your mouth. “Come for me…”

You pressed your nails harder into his skin, trying to fight it off, but it was no use. Steve didn’t relent in his movements, and soon, you were coming around him. Your climax struck you like a punch, stomach aching as it tightened, core fluttering around Steve’s unyielding cock. You slapped your hands against him as he fucked you through it, tears in your eyes again.

“Be good for me,” he reminded you, and you shook your head.

You reached in between you to press your hands to his stomach, turning your head away. Steve’s breathing was harsh above you, chest heaving as he thrust into your soaking core.

“Steve,” you begged, pushing against him.

“You’ve got another in you, I know you do.”

Sure enough, it wasn’t long before he threw you head first into another, and your mind spun as a choked moan slipped out of your mouth. You couldn’t swallow it down even if you tried, and Steve groaned. One of your hands was on his chest, the other on his shoulder, but he wouldn’t budge. Your legs trembled, and you involuntarily closed them as you tried to stem the oversensitivity, inadvertently locking them around his neck.

“Steve... Steve, please,” you begged, out of breath.

His lips found yours again, and he growled into your mouth.

“One more,” he whispered. “Give me one more.”

You tried to duck your head, but he followed, lips brushing the corner of your mouth.

“Give me one more…”

Stars appeared behind your eyes as you came for a third time, choking his cock. Steve let out a low moan as you gripped him, the sound drawing out into a groan. You could feel the mess you were making, but Steve didn’t mind as he pressed kisses to your cheek, your jaw, your neck…

“Look how good you are for me. Such a good girl for me,” he mumbled, spilling into you.

You shuddered at the feel, and Steve fucked his cum into you, hissing. He sat up to move your legs off of him, and relief filled you as they fell limply around him. He pressed his chest against yours again, hands cupped underneath your thighs as he lazily moved within you.

“See how good I can make you feel…” he said, lips grazing yours. “…when you’re good for me.”

~

tags:  @xoxabs88xox  @darkficreposter   @mcudarklibrary @captainchrisstan @nickyl316h @buckybarnesplumwhore @harryspet @readermia @sebabestianstan101 @villanellevi @opheliadawnwalker3 @notyourtypicalrose @coconutqueen21  @stargazingfangirl18   @lou-la-lou @izzfizzh @thatgirly81 @autty0314 @hinata7346 @lokislastlove @honorarytenenbaum @void-hoechlin  @autty0314​ 

[hyucksong]

nct dream as roommates

a/n: *romantically calls you bro* 

lee mark 

the roommate that walked in on you taking a shower on the first night you moved in and avoided you for a week afterward

he even went as far as browsing different apartments to live in because baby boy was too afraid to face you

sometimes wakes up before you and he always prepares your coffee or tea and sets it by your bed for you when you wake up…sometimes sits on the edge of your bed to watch you

asks you to do his laundry because he doesn’t know how to separate the colors

you’re fine with doing them because he tries his absolute bestest with everything else, and it’s so cute

the first time he did the laundry you were sick…and you got a whole new wardrobe of pink clothing the next day

always does the dishes and you do the laundry…he’ll clean the living room and kitchen if you clean the bathrooms…he’ll go grocery shopping…only if you go with him

asks you to do his hair when he meets up with his friends, and if you say no he says “okay” and then pouts until you agree

you really like photography but hiring models is expensive so you always ask mark to model for you

and he always agrees, blushing while doing so

make-up artists are expensive too, so you also get him dressed up and add whatever you want to his face

(once you did a fairy photoshoot and he had freckles and pink cheeks and your heart did the thing) 

this time you need him to sit still for hours because it's supposedly a big photoshoot with a few other photographers coming too, so there’s a lot of looks to get through 

you do the first look before you get to the photo site to save time

he thinks nothing of you curling his hair until he looks up at you and time slows as his heart stops…

because you smell like vanilla and your nose is scrunched in concentration…because your breathing is heavy as you run to the bathroom to get more things before you’re late…

because you’re biting your lip while looking at him, admiring your own work, proud of the way the make-up came out, but a little disheartened because it looked like you put a little too much blush (even though you only put a little) 

and mark thinks,,, oh no

fuck

huang renjun

your best friend since you were a child

you’re used to ‘living with him’ because you practically lived with him as a kid; you were always at his house spending the night or vice versa 

he wakes you up an hour after he gets up because ‘he needs his peaceful time’

claims that ‘you’re the worst person to live with’ but refuses to look for another apartment because ‘no one else can handle you but me’

(in reality, he knows that there will never be anyone else he’ss comfortable with as you) 

he wakes you up by throwing a pillow in your face and or flopping on your bed next to you and bouncing a few times

once got really scared because you weren’t waking up no matter what he did, and when he started to tear up you opened your eyes and pushed him off the bed 

you just didn’t want to be woken up that day and tried to ignore him, but apparently, you ignored him for too long because he genuinely freaking out on the inside

he’s watched ‘what’s eating gilbert grape’ okay he was SCARED

he didn’t talk to you for three days after that....only started to wake you up again because you made the effort to wake up before him and make him breakfast in bed with hot tea

he expected you to leave his room after you gave it to him, but you just looked at him for a minute before sitting on the bed next to him, getting under the covers with him 

he focused on the fact you were taking up all the space instead of the now-familiar thrum of his heartbreak against his ribcage

(he’s felt it for the past fewyears, he’s gotten used to drowning it out) 

“y/nnnnnnn what are you doingggggg”

“shut up i made the breakfast, can’t i at least sit next to my favorite boy?”

...he’s your favorite boy?...okaythatwasreallycutebuthe’llneveradmitit

“o...kay...”

blushes when you lay your head on his shoulder in bed, watching whatever he’s doing on his phone, because your cheek is warm against his shirt and its bleeding through onto his skin and weiowioegfhowieh

but also yells at you when you take a bite of his toast and bolt out of the room, giggling

“yAH y/N”

lee jeno

the roommate that was awkward for the first month because he didn’t really want to room with a girl because then he can’t spend saturday with the boys 

then he brought them home one day without telling you and was expected to get his ass Whopped but you were drinking vodka and crying while watching Cars so

yeah you were the perfect roommate for him

you drink together

saturday may be for the boys but sunday is for drinking your problems away with your roommate 

can’t cook but will make BOMB desserts for you both every friday...also fridays are pizza nights and you both order a large cheese pizza with ranch on the side and a pint of dr.pepper

yall have the same diet but he has a six-pack and you don’t so you call bullshit on health and everything it is

both of you fall asleep on the couch all the time, TV still playing the game soundtrack with the controllers on the floor, blinking from low battery

jeno alwayswakes up before you, and he doesn’t admit it, but he loves to watch you sleep

you just look so...ethereal 

even with the drool

ANYWAY

you are one of the bros...he’s even taken a shit when you took a shower before -- that’s how close you are 

then one day you get dressed up real pretty and he’s making fun of you, laughing “you never look this nice who’s holding you at gunpoint”

“i’m going on a date jeno hop off my DICK”

“,,,what”

immediately felt defensive and was questioing who could like you and why you were going on a saturday night when it was busy on the streets and also please call the guy and cancel the date because he wants to watch toy story with you and eat pasta why are you going out with someone has he met him why haven’t you told jeno about this guy you know what you should just not go

and it’s when you walk out the door rolling your eyes, promising to be back home before 9pm with a cute shirt on and nice perfume on when jeno realizes 

that damn he hates to see you leave,,,but he loves to watch you go

(and he might have the teeniest, weeniest crush on you) 

lee donghyuck

the type to never clean the dishes and always makes you do them even if he cooks because he hates the feeling of wet food

then one day he sees you v e r y stressed over school work and he just...cleans the whole house

you come back from the library and you’re like,,,the fuck where’s haechan and what have you done with him

in turn, you buy him a headset that he’s been wanting for the past year...and you think he’s about to propose to you after you give them to him

but in all reality he’s just so happy that you even remembered something so trivial...like he talking about them once (1) and you remembered?

...cute bitch

he’s a big prankster, but in an endearing way, so whenever he goes too far you never really stay mad because he’s just a little unaware of the anger his pranks cause

plus you always get back at him 

always :)

you both are basically the same people; you’re passionate about your studies and he’s passionate about gaming and dancing

yall are the bad bitches that no one messes with 

BET that yall wear matching fits whenever you two go out together

you get together to watch his favorite youtubers do let’s plays of popular games

one day yall sit down to watch some outlast 2

and boy

did you underestimate the scare factor

so now you’re three episodes deep into the let’s play and your head is buried in haechans stomach because you’re laying down facing away from the TV, clinging to the poor boy

he doesn’t know if his heart is beating so fast because of the jumpscare or because of the way you look up at him when you ask if the scary part is over yet

he doesn’t like seeing you scared with tears in your eyes...but the way you’re clinging to him makes him want to watch a thousand more scary episodes...

...if it means you’ll cuddle with him

na jaemin

the best roommate you could ever ask for

he loves to clean and cook, not to mention he’s an absolute sweetheart!!!!!!!

you started to live with him because you had posted an ad on a website for a roommate and he sent back a reply

but the texts used so many of (=｀ω´=) these emojis you just assumed it was a girl

he was not

every night before you go to bed, he’ll walk into your room and whisper “good night, sleep well” to you before petting you head and walking out

people always wonder if you’re dating, but you always reply that it’s just the way he is

until one night you invite your (asshole) project partner to your apartment and she flirts with him endLESSLY,,, not doing her work or anything, just talking with jaems

like it’s pissing you off, and you think it’s pissing him off, and you’re about to send her home when you notice the storm outside and you realize,,,, you’re too good of a person to do that

so she sleeps on the couch, and you do the same, just so you can keep an eye on her and so that she isn’t left alone with jaemin at any point (poor boy looked like he’s about to combust if she tries to talk to him again) 

and jaemin does his usual routine even with the extra company, stroking your head and even going as far as to place a kiss on your forehead

“what about me, do I get a kiss” the girl annoyingly asked

“no, you’re not yn” and hE WALKS AWAY AND CLOSES THE DOOR TO HIS ROOM 

there’s silence in your head as you process his words, a little shocked and confused as to what he means, but most of all, your thoughts consist of;

oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit

you might have just fallen for him (let’s face it, you’ve been in love with him (just not as long as he’d been in love with you)) 

zhong chenle

not going to lie, you two did NOT get along in the beginning

you were each other’s first roommates, and you knew he was extroverted, but you underestimated the differences between your personalities

like,,, no please don’t invite the dreamies over again for the eighth time this week I can’t focus on homework with all the screaming

but even with all the head-butting, the chores are split evenly because he’s practicing to ‘be marriage material for his future wife’

you don’t care as long as he just does what he’s supposed to, and you two aren’t exactly the closest

but there are times when you connect, like on lazy Sunday afternoons where you both just relax on the couch...anywaY

and he always rolls his eyes, telling you that ‘you need to stop being a hermit and make some friends’

‘get some confidence’

‘why don’t you put any effort into how you dress’

it hurts a little...you know you’re not the prettiest and you don’t really try anyway

but to have it pointed out to you just...stings

and after a guy rejects you (after you built up courage for a whole years to confess to him) your confidence is at an all-time low (he said no because ‘you were too bland’ like wtf fUCk you)

and you’re just crying and eating spaghetti o’s, telling chenle as oon as you walk into the door that you’re ‘too sensitive for his bullshit today’ 

to which chenle doesn’t care... then he sees your puffy eyes and asks wha happens

you tell him, and he just gets...angry

(and jealous?)

he goes on a tangent, mocking the guy, saying that ‘you’re the most doen-to-earth natural beauty’ he’s ever seen and that ‘any guy who doesn’t fall in love with your cute sarcastic personality’ is dumber than a rock

he grumbles for the rest of the night, sitting and watching movies with you; it makes your heart swell that he’s getting so mad for you

and at the end of the mini-movie night, and he strokes your hair saying  that you’re ‘his little introvert’,

you decide that ‘opposite attract’ is 100% true

(and chenle notices that you have very pretty lips)

park jisung

you two are dorm roommates at a dance school, and y’all are so cute all the teachers LOVE you

like you both just spend so much time together it’s ridiculous

yall walk to class together, then from class to class together, eat lunch together, after school activities, walk back to the dorms, meet each other’s friends, go out on the weekends together...everything

it feels weird to not be with him

(the teachers have a bet that you’ll be dating before your senior year)

the dorm is just a studio apartment with two bedrooms (your parents both pay a lot for space) 

so chores aren’t too hard, in fact, you both usually spend the last few hours of daylight on Sunday nights straightening up your apartment from the hectic week before, to start off completely fresh and new

nothing big ever happens on Sundays around the home, but one day jisung (who went to hang out with chenle (he invited you but you pouted and said you had too much hmwk)) found a little puppy on the side of the road

and then proceeded to sneak into the dorms with it, hiding it under his shirt

when he showed you what he found, you couldn’t be mad...it was just so cute (both jisung’s little smile and the puppy) 

but you noticed it was shivering, and you whined, ‘jisung you didn’t even notice it was cold oH My GoD, go get it some water and food’ while you set up a nest of blankets for the little guy

hours later when the puppy had eaten and subsequently fallen asleep in your lap, you turned to jisung

‘let’s name it mousie’

‘what that’s dumb’

‘it’s not dumb! i wanna name it that because it looks like you whenever you sleep! it's so cute hehehe’

you thought jisung was WHAT when he slept

jisung didn’t talk for a whole minute, drinking in your words and thinking about them over and over again, in the meantime you were just smiling down at the puppy

your cheeks were red with happiness and your nose was a little red from sneezing (because the puppy was covered in pollen from being outside) and your gaze was filled with such love that jisung shivered

you let out a sigh and plopped your head on his shoulder, and all his feelings he’d ever had for you exploded in his chest, and he tensed (though if you noticed, you didn’t day anything)

you just kept and petting the dog

and damn did jisung want to be that dog

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

BTS at Golden Disc Awards 2021

by Admin 1

On the 9th and 10th of January 2021 BTS attended the Golden Disc Awards, and performed on the second day as well. Being there they won the Digital Bonsang for Dynamite on the 9th and the Bonsang, as well as the Album Daesang for Map of the Soul : 7, on the 10th. Amazing achievements which I sincerely congratulate them on.

When it comes to the performance, it was, most certainly, another amazing collection of stages bringing something new once more, even if they presented songs we’ve already seen at previous award shows this season. The opening came in form of Black Swan, though they didn’t sing any of it. It was more an intro showcasing the entrance of the members and highlighted Yoongi’s return to the stage, at least partially. 

The stage featured big metal winds, low lighting, and the members clad in black and white clothing including leather elbow length gloves for Namjoon and Yoongi, and pretty chockers for Taehyung and Jimin. The highlight though was Jungkook’s hair which isn’t dark anymore, but instead has been bleached and dyed a pretty blond. Personally I think it suits him pretty well. 

More below the cut since this is shaping up to be pretty long:

Next up was ON, which was powerful and fierce, though still missing Yoongi, which is all too understandable. Even though he can stand on stage again and hold his mic in his left hand (his surgery was on the left shoulder), it will still be a while until he’ll be able to dance with the members. ON has certainly grown a lot on me and I enjoy their performances of it immensely, and it was much the case this time as well.

The transition from ON to Life Goes On came in form of the stage being made to look like their individual rooms from BE which appeared on the digital walls around them. Their clothes were mostly comfy, though Jimin’s resembled their outfits from all the way back during I NEED U/RUN era. The transition/VCR like moment ended with the instrumental to We Are Bulletproof : The Eternal and the stage looking much the way the MV did with the whale swimming around them in an ocean of shades of purple, blue and pink.

For Life Goes On they had miniature versions of some of their most iconic MV sets on pedestals. It was a really cute idea and I enjoyed the execution a lot. The members seemed relaxed and enjoying themselves, Jimin and Taehyung even having their little moment of looking at each other twice, these moments certainly having become something I always kind of look forward to when it comes to LGO stages. 

Another tiny Jimin and Taehyung detail was Jimin sending a brief, barely noticeable (by the viewer) finger heart which I hadn’t even noticed until my fourth rewatch. It definitely fits with all these other small gestures we’ve seen from these two in recent months, like the finger hearts and kissy faces during their Lotte Family Concert performance of Boy with Luv or hugging each other on day 1 and doing a fun handshake and dance on day 2 during Dionysus at the MOTS ON:E concert visible only on one of the side cameras, not the main one.

The grand finale was the Slow Jam remix of Dynamite which worked perfectly with the chill out lounge/bar atmosphere created on stage fitting with the Great Gatsby theme. The members wore mostly suits in white, blue in Namjoon’s case, and a bright yellow when it comes to Taehyung, as well as Hoseok who had a white button down which Tae did not. While a normal person would look ridiculous in it, Taehyung looked absolutely stunning and made it more than work. After so many energetic performances of Dynamite since its release, seeing such a calm version was really nice and refreshing, showing how versatile BTS and their music are, how they can captivate an audience with fast songs made for big choreographies and stage productions, but also these slow, more chill types of tracks. A marvelous idea, truly.

There was also an encore stage where they sang ON again but this time along with Yoongi on stage which had some hilarious moments, especially Namjoon and Seokjin being silly waving their arms around while kneeling opposite each other on stage during Jungkook’s bridge. Cute.

Afterward the members were at something like a red carpet after interview where they took pictures with their awards (Jungkook and Taehyung even making their Bonsang and Daesang awards kiss much the way film director Bong Joon Ho made his two Oscars kiss last year) and were asked to do a relay of saying something to each other. 

All translations of their words are taken from Vernal_Bom on twitter.

J-hope to Jimin 

“I didn’t feel lonely in 2020 thanks to Jimin. Thank you for making me laugh. Give me happiness and laugh in 2021 as well.”  Jimin (turning to Namjoon): “It seems he can never live without me” 

Honestly the bond between Jimin and Hoseok is so cute and wonderful and you can see, and hear in their words, how important they are to each other, and how grateful Hobi is. We know the members were having a really hard time in 2020 so it doesn’t surprise me that Hobi would highlight the other members, or in this case Jimin, as one of the main reasons why he made it through it. After all we also know that those two made a song together which unfortunately didn’t make it onto BE. Hopefully we might get it one day at least as SoundCloud release, or perhaps on the next album instead.

Jimin to RM 

It was you who made us pull ourselves together to go through 2020. I am always grateful, and it’d be nice if you share you height a little with me in 2021, be healthy and happy. RM: Okay thank you

I love how Jimin used this (public) opportunity to tell/remind Namjoon of how important he was for them especially in 2020, as leader and surely also as friend, yet still also made a little joke to still keep the atmosphere light. After he was done speaking Jimin also hugged Namjoon, which showed once more how tiny he is in comparison.

RM to JK 

It’s finally today, Jungkook-si, in 10 years! You are Golden Maknae! The day that you will prove your nickname! You are proving it right now with your hair color, but in 2021, I hope the year will be filled with gold, like your nickname. Stay healthy. Let’s ‘Jje-kkit-up’ together this year too! (check it up.. the usual Namjoon saying lol)

It’s quite something to think about and realize, isn’t it, this year 10 years pass since Jungkook became a BigHit trainee and moved into their first dorm with Namjoon, Hoseok, Yoongi and Seokjin. I’m curious if Bangtan, as well as BigHit, have some kind of plan for JK specifically for this year that Namjoon chose to highlight his Golden Maknae nickname in such a way, or if it was more of a reminder to JK, that he’s so worthy despite how he doubts himself, and despite how he himself said he’s been going through tough times in 2020.

JK to V 

V hyung, when we were trainees we were getting along so well, (V: We are not now???) No!!! i didn’t mean it. You are becoming so much of an stand-up (reliable, I assume in this context) guy. Thank you for doing all the schedules with us.  jhope: who’s hyung here?

The bond these two share might just be one of the biggest mysteries and causes for conflicts and fights within the fandom, or particular parts of it. After their conversation In The SOOP, I’d like to believe they’ve figured out whatever issue might've arisen between them in the past, found a way to solve and move past it slowly, and rekindled their friendship once more. Seeing at how well they’ve been getting along (on camera) these past few months, I think it might've been so. It’s curious to me though that JK chose to say this instead of something more akin to what Jimin said to Namjoon, or Hoseok to Jimin.

V to Jin 

V: (turns to Jin)  Jin: This is too close V: I listened to Abyss and that makes my heart ache too... Jin: Thank you V: hyung, your song is so good. Make more songs in 2021, let Army and us listen to your song more. Jin: Okayokay  V: and I play game with you to relieve stress.... sorry for talking in ban-mal (informal form). —(also speaking in informal way) Jin: No no it was so fun V: I love you Jin: I love you too

I absolutely adore the bond these two share and I love that Tae chose to say what he did. We know Seokjin has been going through a hard time in 2020, that he dealt with something I’d call imposter syndrome, so I’m glad we got to know even more about how Tae was there for him, something we otherwise would’ve never known. Certain people try to portray Tae as the one member that is almost estranged from his other members, who barely has anything to do with the group outside of schedules, and yet it’s moments like this--as well as Seokjin telling us in his birthday vlive that Tae organized for everyone including his non-BTS friends to send Seokjin birthday wishes in video form to show him how loved and appreciated he is--are the proof that those people are wrong. Tae is very close with his members, and he’s the ambassador of OT7 or nothing, the members his closest friends and brothers, his found and chosen family.

Jin to Suga 

Jin: Yoongi ya, do it well. Suga: Okay.... Jin: Do well on your rehab, and...uh... let’s do well going forward. Suga: Okay.. I will...

These two are so close yet due to their introverted nature their interactions such as this one are just so hilarious and adorable at the same time. Their dynamic is wonderful and this just seems like peak Yoongi-Jin behavior.

Suga to j-hope 

SG: (unable to look into hobi’s eyes) Our hobi JH: Suga! SG: You did work hard in 2020 (evading eye contact) JH: hahhahahah and? SG: Let’s not fall sick in 2021, and hwaiting...  JH: “Hwaiting hyung, and take good care of your health!”

The saga of Yoongi being unable to look Hoseok in the eye continues and it’s just as precious as ever. They stood so close, and while Yoongi wasn’t able to look into Hoseok’s eyes, it’s funny how he was the one who initiated the whole “them standing so close together” thing. I love the difference between how Seokjin didn’t even try to make eye-contact while Hoseok playfully challenged Yoongi and tried to coax him into it anyway knowing it’ll make Yoongi laugh and smile. It’s such a Yoongi-Hoseok thing, I love it.

And with that, the award was over and now also my post. I hope you enjoyed reading it! :3

[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to RunBTS: 81-90

Jikook really seem to be feeling some kind of way in a lot of these episodes. Meanwhile, the Run editors (or whoever writes the on-screen text) are getting increasingly sassy and I am here for it! 

As usual, let me know if I’ve missed anything or should take another look at something. :)

Ep 81 “BTS VR Part 1" (Ep: 2 / KM: 3)

The ones where we are again reminded that watching people play arcade games doesn't make for the best TV (but at least the guys are having fun!)

2:49 - JM puts his arm around JK as teams are announced.

4:20 - When JM is joking around about being on a VR train, he directs his silliness at JK and they are the only two laughing.

4:54 - JK puts his hands on JM's back to guide him to the next room.

5:00 - JK says that Jimin loves things like this.

6:37 - JM directs his comment that he feels motion sick to JK. JK laughs and says it'll be fun.

7:50 - Jimin laughs delightedly as he watches JK act like he's controlling the skateboard in the VR.

16:23,17:07 - Some teleporting happens where JK and JM go from being on either side of RM to being right next to each other. 

17:55 - JM playfully shoves JK as he does a celebratory dance in the background.

19:56 - JM compliments JK's stable driving.

21:55 - After JM brags that he'll win everything, JK shoves his chest and they have a brief exchange with each other that is unsubtitled. 

28:51 - JM has his arm around JK again.

BEHIND

0:29 - JK puts his arm around JM (over V's arm).

3:08 - Jimin watches and jokes with JK as JK pretends he's controlling the VR experience that he's doing.

8:39 - JK and JM are joking around with each other until Hobi interrupts them to tell Jimin to get out of Suga's gamespace. 

Ep 82 "BTS VR Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 3)

4:35 - Suga tries to get Jimin in on a plan to shove JK while he's doing the VR tower game, but JM declines, saying it wouldn't scare JK, anyway. He seems to be correct, as JK immediately starts playing around and JM ends up on the floor laughing at his antics.

7:59 - When Jimin is playing around with his height in the game, JK informs us that JM wants to be taller. 

13:53 - JM compliments how well JK is doing in the game 

19:44 - JK comes and leans over JM's shoulder to look at his controller.

20:59 - JK had moved away after V joined them, but returns to JM's shoulder once it's free again.

26:11 - JK has his arms around both V and JM when it's announced that they won.

BEHIND 

2:37 -  After JK says he's not good at the type of game coming up, JM briefly touches his back (in what I read as a comforting gesture, but I'm trying to to go overboard on editorializing...)

Ep 83 "Summer Outing Part 1" (Ep: 3, KM: 2)

The water park one where everyone is terrible at pool volleyball 

01:34 - Jimin directs his unheard query about the game they're playing to JK and then keeps looking in his direction despite JK not giving any answers.

2:12 - It's kind of adorable how funny JK finds Jimin's crow imitation.

2:33 - JM keeps his eye on JK when they're doing a hand flip game to decide teams and seems to be poised to change his answer depending on JK's.

12:04 - After hitting a good shot over the net, JK asks someone "did you see that?" Next time the camera returns to them, JM seems to have swum over to JK to congratulate him (to be fair to Jimin, JK did look really hot doing it with wet hair).

16:12 - JK and JM high five after working together to get the ball back over the net.

BEHIND 0:26 - Hobi tells JK that he has an extra earring - pointing to a large hoop earring JK has hanging off one of his hoops - and tells him to remove it because he doesn't like it. JK says, "but I like it."  Pointing this out because I've seen some jikookers speculate that JK is wearing one of JM's (as we see him do in Festa 2020). I think that's really cute, but I'm not sure it's accurate, as in Part 3 we see that JM has put all his earrings back in after all the water activities and JK still has the "extra" one.  But don’t worry... there’s some undeniable jewelry-sharing coming up later!

03:15 - JM and JK paddle around adorably together. The caption labels them "Puppykitty and Kookbunny" <3

34:44 - JM and JK, the only two who appear to be truly invested in the outcome of this game, strategize together.

5:15 - JK and JM cutely exchange the ball while paddling.

10:10 - JM and JK joke with each other about how fast the boat was. When JK says, "he didn't listen to me" (which is already a very BF statement), he uses banmal. 

11:42 - JK offers JM some food and then watches as JM lenas his head all the way back to eat the (phallic) food.

Ep. 84 "Summer Outing Part 2" (Ep: 3, KM: 2)

The water park one where JK is so much better than the others that they have to change the game so it’s JK vs everyone else

2:29 - JM seems to being trying to hold up JK on his back? No clue what they're aiming for, but both seem to be enjoying it. 

10:09 - When JK returns from his turn on the water slide, JM puts his towel around his neck.

BEHIND 0:28 - JM supports JK as he tries to fish a shoe out of the water

0:44 - JM watches JK do pushups and makes a joke about how the whole dock is going to sink because he's so heavy (meaning muscular, not fat). JM moves closer to him and the camera cuts off. 

5:41 - JK and JM lean in close to watch a replay of JM's jump and JK lightly makes fun of him. 

Ep 85 "Summer Outing Part 3" (Ep: 4 / KM: 2)

The water park one where everyone except JM and JH are terrible at giving gifts 

1:35 - JM proposes that, if JK wins the game, they call him "hyung" the rest of the day. JK looks surprised, but into it. 

16:52 - JM asks JK for one bite of ramyeon. JK gives him a bunch in his bowl and says "this is how much I care about you."

32:40 - This is the true jewelry sharing moment of these episodes! We see that, through dinner, JK had on two silver chain bracelets. After dinner (where they all drank and goofed around), one is missing. Jimin has on long sleeves, but here you can see up them as he's opening his present and, sure enough, JM is wearing JK's missing bracelet! I think it's made even more interesting by the fact that it seems like he was trying to not make it obvious he was wearing it - he had it pushed pretty high up his arm and covered by his sleeve - you really wouldn't notice it unless you were looking for it...

Ep 86 "Hangul Day Special Part 1" (Ep: 2 / KM: 0.5)

The ones where you have no hope of playing along, so just enjoy that the guys are incapable of not saying the word "okay" despite promising not to use any English all episode...

^^^ Not jikook-related, could I couldn't not include this screenshot of the drawing JK left behind on his whiteboard 

No moments in the episode itself. 

BEHIND 0:31 - JM writes something on his whiteboard that I can't make out and then he and JK exchange funny faces  

Ep 87 "Hangul Day Special Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

1:47 - JK puts his arm around JM's shoulders as he leans over him to see the map

BEHIND 0:42 - JK starts to hold JM's hand before doing the slate and then they joke around with each other

1:03 - Closer and longer shot of the above moment

Ep 88 "Hangul Day Special Part 3" (Ep: 3 / KM: 0.5)

No moments within the episode. 

Ep 89 "BTS Gayo Returns Part 1" (Ep: 5 / KM: 4)

The ones where BTS has fun playing games that have to do with their music. It may not sound like much, but this is the show at its best.    6:28 - Jimin makes up a rule that JK has to draw an extra card because he forgot the choreo. It doesn't sound like much from the description, but Jimin's tone and smile make it feel rather flirty.

7:00 - It takes JK until here to realize that Jimin doing the above skipped his turn. When he expresses this, JM gives him a finger heart.

9:20 - Jimin tries to convince JK not to switch the card color using the look and low voice he did back in the New Years episode. No luck.

26:54 - When Jimin is supposed to be acting out song lyrics, he barely starts acting before JK guess the lyrics correctly, causing the others to ask if it's telepathy. They're both super excited and hug adorably until JHope starts pulling on JM's arm to get them to cool it. Then, Jimin heads back to his chair and is laughing so hard he falls out of it. A concerned JK comes over to check on him and ends up falling on top of him. They're both still laughing as JK helps JM up.

BEHIND 6:04 - Jimin finds JK's shouting so funny he is on the floor laughing, which makes JK crack up too as the rest of the group looks on confused. JHope eventually cuts it off by seating Jimin next to JK.

7:03 - Another angle on the falling over moment.

8:08 - Between-set-ups moment where JK and JM discuss the "telepathy" moment and JM tells JK "you're awesome."

Ep 90 "BTS Gayo Returns Part 2" (Ep: 5 / KM: 3)

3:54 - When JK misses hearing what the right answer is, he looks right to Jimin to tell him.

7:20 - After JK gets super excited after what turns out to be a wrong answer from RM, Jimin teases him and does the flirty chest tap thing.

18:07 - JM and JK jokingly dance part of the Fake Love choreo around each other, with Jimin adding in tapping JK's chest.

25:33 - When they all rearrange their chairs, JK moves his close to JM. 

31:40 - When they're talking about memorable moments from this two-parter, JM brings up JK guessing the answer just from looking in his eyes 

BEHIND 5:04 - JK keeps watching JM dancing after the others have all stopped.

[sailor-manga]

“Caught” Part Four {Shouta Aizawa}  [FINAL PART + 200 Follower milestone!!]

A/N: So I got a little carried away with it, but I honestly love how it turned out. I would like to personally thank Prisim [ @royal-after-dark​ ], Cece, and Allie [ @queensynderella​ ] for giving me pointers and suggestions, if it wasn’t for you guys, I would still be stuck on this!. Either way, I hope you guys liked the route that I took. <3 

**Side note: I’m working on using mainly last names, as you’ve noticed I’ve used both in this piece but I intend to try and starting doing it the other way unless Reader is close to them. 

Word count: 8,041

Warnings: Smut, Teacher kink, angst, mentions of alcohol, awkward grinding?

You felt like shit, you were so glad you didn’t have to go to classes today.. The only good outcome of all of this was that you were able to make a friend. You had texted Eijiro last night and you two stayed up pretty late just talking and exchanging funny photos, probably why you were so sluggish. Sitting up in your bed, your eyes would read over the messages sent, a tired chuckle emitting from your lips that slowly curled into a smile. Thankfully, those were the only messages you saw, none from Shouta. In the back of your mind, it kind of hurt- But you couldn’t blame him, you ignored him all day yesterday. 

Getting out of bed, you would let out a stretched yawn and go to your closet, since you had the day to yourself, you figured it would be best to at least get out for a while. Despite making a friend, the whole Aizawa situation was still very much implanted in your head, it made you feel like a high school girl all over again, pining for your teacher that made it VERY clear he wanted nothing like that with you. 

Slipping on a black pleated skirt with some black tights, you’d finish the outfit with a simple black V-neck shirt, showing your cleavage in a classy way. You honestly didn’t know why you were getting so dressed up, probably because you just simply wanted to feel better. Sitting at your vanity you would do some intricate makeup and sigh “Why am I doing this” you’d mutter to yourself, you looked great- but you still had nothing to do. As you brushed out your hair, you would pick up your phone and eye Eijiro’s number, would it be too forward to see if him and Bakugo wanted to hang out?

Biting your lip, you would take the chance and shoot him a quick text- Seeing him and Katsuki would like to meet you at your favorite cafe. Tucking your phone into the pocket of the skirt, you would wander out of your room and into the bathroom for deodorant and a quick teeth brush. It wasn’t until you were heading into your living room area when your phone would buzz. Pulling it out, your face would light up in a soft smile. 

Eijiro Kirishima: That sounds great! We’ll be leaving here in just a moment! 

You would let out a soft sigh of relief to see that your advances for friendship didn’t scare him off. Kicking on your creepers, you would snatch your bag from the counter and leave the apartment. 

To your surprise, Eijiro and Katsuki would have beaten you there, already sitting near the window and talking among themselves. You would smile to see Katsuki was slightly more relaxed. 

Entering the shop, Eijiro would happily wave you down, and you would walk over and sit in between them. Katsuki would simply grunt out a hello and Eijiro would pat your shoulder “How are you feeling today?” he asked cheerfully, which caused you to shrug “Still fresh, but I’m making it I suppose” you would say with a light smile. 

You three would idly chat and sip some coffee, Katsuki would occasionally yell profanities at you, but you knew it was just him. “So” Eijiro said with a smile “I don’t know if you remember Kaminari, but he’s having a party. His birthday was a few days ago and of course wants to be the center of attention- Would that be something that interests you?” he asked with a head tilt.

Looking down some, you would ponder- You remembered Denki Kaminari very well, he was always the life of the class, and a bit of a pervert- but hey, he was a high school boy. “That sounds cool, but I never really got acquainted with him” you’d say with a light frown. Kiri would wave his hand dismissively “Oh pshh, As long as you wish him a happy birthday he’ll be glowing. Come on, Y/N, come with us! We want you to come, right babe?” he asked, looking towards Bakugo who was more occupied with the muffin in his hand. Glancing up, he would shoot you a death glare before softening a bit “Yeah, it’d be cool or whatever” he ruffed. 

You couldn’t help the smile that crept up on your lips, you weren’t one tease- But you’d say that Bakugo was definitely okay with you hanging around them. “Well, I suppose it would be fun.. I’ll do it” you said with a grin. Eijiro smacked his knee and huffed out a happy sigh “That’s great! If you would have said no, Katsuki would have no problem dragging you” he joked, but it still caused a blush to paint the top of your cheeks. 

Eijiro was quick to shoot Kaminari a text “Wow, this is going to be like a whole 1A reunion” he said with a smile. That kind of put a pit in your stomach, Shouta wouldn’t be invited right? It was probably just the students.. Trying to calm those thoughts in your head you would pull out your own phone “wanna send me the address?” you ask quietly before Kiri waved his hand at you “No need! We’ll come pick you up” he said with a bright smile “Just make sure you’re ready by nine pm sharp” he said before looking at Bakugo who was idly staring out the window “Ready babe?” Eijiro asked, which made the blonde snap out of thoughts and stand up “Finally” he grunted, taking his boyfriend by the hand. 

Waving a quiet goodbye to them, you would slump into your seat and take another drink of your coffee, the thought of a party was definitely nice, but the subtle fear of Shouta being there almost wanted you to make some kind of excuse not to go. You really didn’t want to, you just started making friends, you didn’t want to ruin that because of your own paranoia. 

Finally standing up, you grab your bag and coffee before heading out. You had quite a bit of time to kill before the party so you figured you could get some school work done and maybe re apply your makeup. After all, you wanted to make a good impression on your old classmates, it could be a huge opportunity to possibly make a few more friends. You kind of felt bad that you didn’t before, Eijiro was so great- who else was as nice as him that you just never gave the chance. It wasn’t your fault though, back in high school and even now you always had socialization issues. 

Shouta was idly typing away on his laptop at home, trying to get some work done before he napped. As the male read over essays, he would raise a brow when his computer chimed, indicating he had an email. The male would stifle a yawn before opening up a new tab and starting to read. It was from Denki Kaminari, one of his old students. Rubbing his chin, he would study the email closely. The writing stated that it was his birthday a few days ago and they were going to celebrate that, and also that it would be really cool to have a little reunion, and it wouldn’t be that unless their awesome teacher attended. 

Hitting reply, he was going to decline- But then it hit him.. If it was a reunion, then surely you’d be there right? He fought with his thoughts for a moment.. Would it be a good idea? 

Quickly typing that he would attend, he would close the laptop and run a hand through his locks. At this point he didn’t care what was right or wrong, he needed to see you, needed to make things okay between the two of you.

Once nine came around, you were sitting in your living room fumbling with your fingers. You were pretty nervous, but hey.. At least you looked great. You had wiped off your makeup and did a whole different look. You also changed your shirt into a tank top, something to hug your curves and show off a little more, why? Because you were so sick of being a wallflower. You were going to stand out tonight and make friends!

Your phone buzzing snapped you from your thoughts and you would pick it up to see that Eijiro and Katsuki were waiting outside for you. Standing up quickly, you would sling your purse around your shoulder and shove your phone in there before zipping it up and rushing out. 

As you closed the door to your complex, Eijiro would honk his horn and wave “Over here, cutie! Let’s go” he cheered out while Katsuki sat on the passenger side with his arms crossed. 

Hopping over, you would slide into the backseat and Eijiro would turn around, eyeing you up and down “Wow, Y/N.. You look really. Sexy” he breathed, the cheerful smile still painted on his face. Katsuki would growl out and snap his head to the side, bending over to look behind the seat. You could tell he was about to say something rude, but his eyes went right to your perky breasts. 

Turning the color of Eijiro’s hair, he would huff “Y-Yeah.. You might look good, but don’t forget you’re just a fucking extra” he grunted out, quickly averting his eyes and sitting in his seat. Eijiro would chuckle and you would soon follow. A compliment.. Kind of? 

“Thanks, both of you.. I really wanted to stand out tonight, and thanks again for inviting me” you would say in a soft tone. “Ah shush, we wanted you to come!” Eijiro would muse before finally pulling out of the spot and heading towards their destination. Leaning back in your seat, you couldn’t fight your smile that didn’t seem to want to leave your face. It felt good to be seen. 

When they pulled up to the house, there were students still filtering in. You recognized most of them, but the question was.. Would they recognize you? Getting out, you would smooth out your skirt. Katsuki would get out with a huff and Eijiro would practically jump out, very ready to party. “Let’s go!” he chimed out, the beat of the music reaching all the way to the car. Eijiro would grab Katsuki by the hand and surprisingly, he would do the same to you. With him in the middle, he would yank the both of you towards the home. 

As soon as you guys entered the house, a blast of heat from the number of bodies would wash over you. Immediately the two males were greeted by multiple people. Standing behind Eijiro as everyone exchanged hugs, you would feel a tight embrace. Blinking frantically, the stranger would lift you up and swirl you around. Once you were set down, you would look up through your lashes to see Tenya Iida “My goodness , Y/N! I wasn’t expecting to see you here!” he boomed with a large smile on his face. Blinking a few more times, you would give him a shy smile “I-I didn’t think you’d remember my name” you’d say sheepishly.

Tenya would let out a loud laugh “What kind of president would I be if I didn’t remember the names of my classmates!” he said, patting your shoulder warmly. 

Before you could answer, another hug would swarm in. Letting out a gasp as the mystery person seemed to squeeze the life out of you, you’d finally see Denki Kaminari “Y/N! I tried to invite you personally but no one had your number, I was so thankful that Kiri had your number” he said with a bright smile. You felt like you were going to cry, but for once.. It was happy tears, here you thought that no one would know who you were, but everyone seemed to remember you “Happy birthday” you’d say shyly, earning a laugh from Kaminari “thanks! Don’t just stand there, come on” he said quickly hooking his arm around yours and pulling you further inside. 

Turning your head, you would see Kirishima and Bakugo stay back to talk to Iida for a moment, Mina slowly walking up to greet them. 

“Let’s get you a drink, we can’t have anyone being too shy now” Kaminari mused before grabbing a red solo cup and starting to mix you a drink. You would laugh nervously before rubbing the back of your neck, you still couldn’t get rid of the warmth inside you upon discovering your classmates actually knew who you were. 

Your thoughts were cut off by Kaminari holding the cup to your face “Here you go!” he chimed. Taking the cup from his hands you would take a sip and immediately make a face of disgust “Jesus.. This is so strong” you’d mutter “Duh! That’s how it’s supposed to be” he yelled over the music. 

A dry, unpracticed chuckle would come up from your throat as you attempted to get used to the strong taste of alcohol flooding your senses. Kaminari would pat your back with a snort before pointing over across the room “Ooh! Uraraka is here! I’ll be back” he said quickly, leaving you alone at the table. 

Tapping the side of your cup, you would look around. Everyone was chatting with someone, and you were here.. Being the wallflower you swore you wouldn’t be. Letting out a sigh, you would bring the cup to your lips and chug it down, resisting the urge to cough it back up. 

The contents in the cup were soon gone and you found the room already spinning. Letting out a sigh, you would hold your stomach.. Maybe that wasn’t such a great idea. Licking your lips and setting the cup down, you would find a group that wasn’t too occupied. It wasn’t long before your eyes fell upon a messy head of green hair “Midoriya” you muttered, you remembered him being very friendly, so that couldn’t go wrong could it? 

Pushing yourself off of the wall, you would walk straight towards him and offer a smile “Hello, Midoriya” you’d say bowing your head to him. Izuku would glance over and his eyes would go wide “Y-Y/N? Woah! I didn’t think I’d see you here” he muttered out shyly before opening his arms. Unlike Iida and Kaminari, Midoriya would hug onto you gently, patting your back softly “How have you been?” he asked as he pulled away. 

Licking your lips again, you would give off a slight shrug “Oh, you know.. Just college, college.., and more college” you said with a soft chuckle. Midoriya would nod with a friendly smile “I understand that, I’ve been cramming for an exam I have next week, thought this would be a nice break- It’s great seeing everyone again” he said shoving his hands into his pockets. You would nod in agreement, blinking your eyes a few times.

You knew now that it was definitely a bad idea that you chugged that drink. Not only did you have a severely shitty alcohol tolerance, but it was probably even worse now since you barely drank in the first place! 

“Y/N, you okay?” Midoriya asked with concern “Oh, um.. Yeah, I’m fine” you said with a giggle, turning a slight shade of rose. Before the male could offer you a bottle of water or something, Kirishima would quickly wrap an arm around you “There you are! Oh, hey Midoriya!” Eijiro said, tipping his cup to the other. Izuku would nod a hello and offer a smile. “Look at you, did you already start drinking without me? No fair!” Eijiro chimed out before turning you around and leading you back to the table.

Shaking your head some you would hold up your hands “I-I don’t think I need anymore alcohol, Kaminari made sure I got a good intake” you would say with a hiccup, your words slightly slurring. 

Grabbing two more glasses, Kirishima would look over at you “Come on, just one shot with me- To celebrate you coming tonight! I promise I won’t bug you to drink anymore and I’ll watch you to make sure you don’t do anything foolish” he said with a pout. 

Rolling your eyes, you would grab the cup and hold it out while he poured a portion-able shot of vodka inside. Capping the bottle, he would pick up his own cup and tap it against yours “To my manliness- and your amazing looks” he said before tipping the glass to his mouth. You would quickly do the same and make the same face as disgust as before. 

“What a face” Kiri commented with a chuckle, using his thumb to wipe some vodka that had dribbled down your lip. The tips of your ears would flush as the song would shift, upbeat, techno, perfect for dancing and Kirishima caught onto that quickly “That’s what you need, you need to dance!” he chimed. Quickly lifting your hands, you would quickly shake them “No, no.. I don’t dance” you claimed. Kirishima would stare at you for a moment before pouting “Would you dance if it was Bakugo?” he asked with a smirk. 

Raising a brow you would tilt your head “W-What is that supposed to mean?” you muttered out. Kiri rubbed the back of his neck “You both seem to not be having a good time is all” he said holding up a hand and dashing through the crowd, he was back as soon as he disappeared but his time he had Bakugo in hand, chugging down a beer. “You two, go dance” he urged, which made both of you glance at each other “What are you trying to do, shitty hair” he grunted with a soft slur. 

Kirishima would roll his eyes and lean towards his boyfriend, whispering something that made the blonde flush “S-Stupid dumb ass” he growled before setting his bottle down and grabbing your wrist “W- huh?” you’d mutter out with a slur. 

As you two got swallowed in the crowd, he would growl out “That idiot doesn’t listen, can’t you see that?” he huffed, his free hand taking your other wrist and resting both of them on his shoulders. You would look around shyly to see that other classes were arriving too, Shinso in particular was someone you noticed right away, chatting with Kaminari on the side lines. Your attention snapped back to Bakugo when his hands traveled to your waist “Don’t say one fucking word, you hear me dumb ass?” he hissed. 

You immediately closed your lips into a tight line as Bakugo pulled you close to press up against him, the tips of his ears growing red. “Y-You don’t have to do this, you know.. I know I’m awkward, but I can manage” you muttered, trying not to keep the male there if he didn’t want to be. 

Bakugo was quick to let out a grunt before one of the hands that rested diligently on your hip moved to the small of your back “If I didn’t want to be here, I would have told shitty hair to fuck off” he barked, causing you to flinch. With the way he was swaying you around, the alcohol seemed to be mixing further into your system, causing you to lean your weight onto him “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he muttered out, hooking his arm further around you to make sure you didn’t slip and fall onto the floor. 

“Mn..” you groaned quietly, which made Bakugo scoff “You’re trashed” he slurred. Looking up at him through your lashes, you would giggle out “So are you” you noted, which actually roused a smile from the angry male. You two went quiet as you awkwardly ground on each other, to anyone else you two looked like two young adults just having the time of their lives, but in reality, both of you were quiet and simply moving to the beat, not quite sure on what to say to one another. 

You didn’t know if it was a curse or a blessing when Kirishima hopped over and leaned in between you two “Mind if I cut in? I think I’ve tortured you enough” he said to you with a soft smile, helping you stand “You want to go over there?” he asked, nodding his head to the couch where Midoriya and Iida sat. Shaking your head, you would lightly pull yourself from his grasp “I got it” you slurred “You two enjoy yourselves” you said with a drunken smile, sauntering off back to the table in hopes you’d find some water. 

Pushing through people, your sights would be on the refreshments, but your feet wanted to betray you. You found yourself stumbling into people and drunkenly muttering sorry every five seconds. 

You had just made it to the table when you were soon to realize that the other bodies were what was helping you keep your balance. Falling forward, you would quickly feel an arm around your waist, quickly pulling you up to stand up straight. You would mutter a drunk thank you but the arm didn’t seem to loosen. 

Turning your head, you would freeze.. It was like time itself frozen as you stared into the eyes of a frustrated and concerned Shouta Aizawa. Once you were able to come to your senses, you would quickly attempt to struggle from his grasp, but it only tightened “If I let go, you’re dropping” he warned. 

Not listening to his reason, you would continue to squirm in his grasp, letting out small whimpers as you did so. Aizawa would grab a bottle of water and let out a growl “Come on, we’re going outside for a moment” he said before pulling your body into his and wrapping an arm around your shoulder, making sure to guide you carefully through the crowd. The male was actually really attentive to you, making sure that no flying arms would smack you, or making sure another body didn’t stumble into you to make you lose your balance. 

The second you two got outside, he would lead you to the porch. The cool nights breeze would caress your flushed cheeks and now that you were getting some fresh air, you didn’t feel like you were going to knock out. Drunkenly pushing him away now, you would stumble and quickly find your balance by leaning against the wall “What are you doing here? Why are you still bothering me?” You spat out, hints of drunken venom poisoning your tone. 

Shouta would stare at you for a long moment before he took a tentative step closer as he lowered his tone into a deep command “Why didn’t you answer me”. Staring at him through your lashes, you would scoff “Because you’re an ass hole, because you hurt me, and I don’t owe you the pleasure of answering your texts” you spat back. 

His arms were quick to cage you in, keeping you pinned against the wall “I was worried about you, Y/n.. I..” he choked on his words for a moment “I made a mistake okay? It was wrong of me to drive you away” he admitted quietly, his eyes going soft as he gazed upon your drunk, angry expression. 

You didn’t want to hear it, you immediately began to push at him, trying to get free of the kabedon. Aizawa didn’t let up though, he towered over you and let out a soft sigh “Please, Y/N.. Just hear me out? Stop..” he muttered, pressing his broad chest closer to you to give you a little less wiggle room. You still weren’t having it, letting out a frustrated grunt, you would place your elbows on his chest and shove as hard as you could but your legs seemed to buckle out from under you, causing you to quickly pull away to keep yourself up.

Letting out a gasp, you would feel another panic attack coming on, you had to get away “G-Get away from me” you blurted out, your hand quickly coming up and connecting to his cheek with a loud ‘SMACK’. Shouta let out a soft hiss, and squinted an eye closed, but he didn’t budge “I deserved that..” he’d mutter out, his hands slowly sliding down the wall to wrap around your waist “Shh, please Y/N.. Calm down, I’m here.. I know you hate me right now, but please..” he cooed into your ear. 

Turning into a puddle of mush in his arms, your face would bury into his chest as you broke out into a loud sob. One of his hands was quick to trail up and down your face “I was wrong about you, Y/N.. You’re different from the others, and I know that now.. I’m so sorry I hurt you, but I need to fix this, I want you” mused quietly into your ear as you dampened his shirt with your tears. 

You so badly wanted to keep pushing at him, even wanted to hit him again- But those words.. Those words washed over you and seemed to melt your panic away as if it was nothing. Shouta said nothing, he just let you cry, he comforted you the best he could. “Here” he finally said, pulling you away from his chest and uncapping the water he had grabbed, putting it in your hands. 

Trembling, you would lift the bottle to your lips and take a few strong gulps before pulling it away with a gasp. The male would quietly take it from your hands “Let me take you back to my place, you can barely stand right now” he whispered. 

Letting out a shaky breath, you would give a minuscule nod. That was all he needed. Tucking the water into his pocket he would bend over and hook an arm around the back of your knees, lifting you up with ease and into a bridal style carry. 

Quickly latching your arms around his neck, your head would slump against his cheek “It’s going to be okay, Kitten” he muttered, taking you to his car. Carefully he would strap you into the passenger seat, making sure to place the water on your lap before closing the door gently and circling the car to get into the drivers side. 

As the car took off, you would slump against the door. The drive wasn’t easy, bile kept creeping up your throat but you would wash it down with water. It wasn’t until the male actually parked when you would push the door open and practically hang out as you released the vomit that you had forced down. 

The only thing that was holding you was the seat belt, and you were thankful for that. Letting out a whimper, you would feel your hair slowly raise from your face “Let it all out, Kitten.. It’s okay” Aizawa would muse quietly, his free limb rubbing your back in soothing up and down motions. You two would stay like that for quite a moment before he unbuckled you and carried you into his house. 

When he got you inside, he would close the door with his foot and take you to his room. Laying your body down on the plush comforter, he would push more hair from your face “Look at you..” he said softly before letting out a soft breath “Stay put, okay? We’re going to get all that makeup off your face and some more water” he said softly before making his way out of the room. 

When he left, you would roll onto your side, inhaling his scent on the blanket.. You had never felt so secure and safe.. You never wanted to leave this spot. Sprawling your arms forward, you would gather the bedding and press your face up against it, letting out a soft whimper as you went in and out of a dozed state- If you even remembered, you’d have to find Kaminari’s number and scold him for getting you so drunk, of course Kirishima had a play in that too. 

You didn’t know how long he was away, but soon his strong hands would slowly roll you back onto your back. Feeling a lukewarm cloth on your face, the male was gentle with wiping off the streaks of makeup that tainted your cheeks. “Think you can drink some more water for me, Kitten?” he asked quietly. Your eyes would flutter open to see him gazing down at you with a frown “Yeah..” you’d mutter in a soft slur. 

Propping you up a little, you would lazily grab the water bottle and uncap it, taking some small swigs before licking your lips “Thanks..” you’d say quietly, handing the bottle back to him. He would nod some and set it on the nightstand in case you wanted more. “I’m so sorry, Y/N” he growled, causing you to look at him with a frown “I will make it up to you, if you let me, Kitten.. I want to take care of you” he confessed, tucking some strands of hair behind your ear. 

“I-I’m still mad at you..” was the only thing you could get out. The male would chuckle and nod “You have every right to be” he mused softly before standing from the bed and grabbing his blanket, pulling it over your body “Rest now, okay? We’ll talk more in the morning” he said, turning his back to walk out. 

Biting your lip quietly you would reach out and quickly grab the back of his shirt. Shouta would turn around and you would suck in a breath “Stay in here.. It’s fine.. I don’t want to take your bed” you’d mutter out. He would stare at you for a moment before nodding “Very well, as long as you’re okay with it” he said softly before blinking and looking down at your feet. Reaching down, he would carefully remove your shoes and place them on the floor and reach over to flick off the light. 

You could hear the light shuffles of him stripping off his clothing and soon you would feel the other side of the bed sink in. He was respectful, he kept his distance from you and even used a separate blanket to cover up with. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he was trying to get in your pants, not after what he did the first time. 

He did reach over to pet you though. Soft and slow his fingers would slide through your silky locks, causing your eyes and stomach to flutter. You didn’t know when you actually fell asleep, but it was pretty hard not too with the soothing touch of Shouta. 

When morning rolled around, you would immediately groan at the light invading the room. Covering your eyes, your throbbing headache would remind you of where you were. Quickly sitting up, you would look next to you to see an empty spot. Looking down to see your clothes still intact, you would sigh out and glance over at the water bottle and snatch it, chugging it down greedily. Crinkling the plastic, you would set the now empty bottle back on the nightstand. 

It was then when Shouta came in, granola bar and aspirin in hand “How are you feeling?” he asked, sitting at the edge of the bed “F-Fine.. I suppose” you muttered, taking the aspirin from his hand and popping it into your mouth, using your saliva to swallow it down. “Eat” he suggested, placing the bar in your lap. Picking it up, you would start to open it “Where is my bag?” you asked quietly. Reaching over as you started to nibble on the granola bar, he would carefully place your bag on your legs. 

Fishing out your phone, your eyes would widen.. You had over thirty texts from Kirishima, and a number you didn’t recognize, but you soon found out it was Bakugo. You felt so guilty.. You left last night without a word. The last time Kirishima saw you was when you were drunk and stumbling away. Quickly opening the messages, you would shoot him a text explaining how sorry you were and that someone had brought you home because you wound up getting sick. 

Letting out a sigh, you would feel the grip of his hand resting on your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze “Y/N.. we need talk about this sooner or later, will you please hear me out?” he asked quietly, gauging your expression to see if you would run again. 

Sucking a deep breath, you would gaze up at him “I-.. I’m willing to give this a chance, don’t think I’m not still mad at you, but last night you showed me that you wanted to fix things” you muttered out, glaring at him “And if you ever fucking do that to me again, there will be no second chances, you wi-” you were cut off by the rough eagerness of his lips. You hated how he had this weight over you.. You melted into his kiss, the simple gesture alone sending jolts throughout your whole body. 

Shouta would break the kiss, a string of saliva still connecting you two “I swear to you, Kitten.. I will never fucking do anything like that to you again, you’re mine now.. And I intend on keeping it that way” he breathed out, his hand slipping behind your neck to bring you into another kiss. Lifting your arms, they would make quick work to hug around his neck to pull him closer. 

Breaking the kiss, Shouta would smirk some “You’re welcome to use my shower and kitchen if you’d like” he noted softly, his body leaning more forward, but you would seem to perk up at the thought of the shower “Actually, a shower sounds awesome” you’d mutter out. Aizawa would lean away and let you get up from the bed. Taking the half eaten granola bar from your hands, he would point to the door “It’s the door right on the left” he instructed.  

Lifting yourself up, you’d smooth out your now wrinkled shirt and quickly shuffle away. Once you were in the bathroom, your face would heat up and you would cup your cheeks into your hands. He doesn’t deserve to be forgiven so quickly, yet all he has to do is whisper sweet nothings and you’re like putty in his hands. He seemed serious, he wouldn’t have cornered you at that party if he wasn’t serious, and if all he really wanted was to fuck, he wouldn’t have cared if you were hammered last night, he would have done it. 

Sighing softly, you would strip out of your clothes and lay them neatly on the sink counter, stealing some of his mouthwash to get the disgusting taste off of your tongue. Turning the water on hot, you’d twist the cold knob only a little so you wouldn’t burn your flesh off. As steam started to fill the room, you would hold your hand under the water before letting out a soft hum. You weren’t in there long, you really just wanted to wash your body and hair, rubbing and pushing through those sweaty bodies last night left you with a gross feeling. 

Turning off the shower, you would step out and push the wet locks from your face. Looking around, you would bite your lip- the whole bathroom smelled like his cologne, hit drowned your senses and made you step forward, sneakily opening the medicine cabinet. Your eyes went right to the little back bottle with some kind of fancy name on it. Plucking it from it’s spot you would uncap it and inhale it’s scent, causing your head to spin and your knees to buckle slightly. 

No matter how much you wanted to dislike him, it was clear that you were still head over heels for the guy, so much you were sneaking through his cabinet just to take in his scent. 

Drying off best you could, you would put your clothes back on, minus the thigh highs. Clutching them in your hand, you would dry your hair a little before exiting the room and going back to the bedroom where Aizawa laid, dozing softly. Biting your lip, you would stand at the door for a moment to take in his sleeping features, he looked so sweet, so relaxed..

“Why are you staring at me like that?” the words slapped you in the face to snap you out of your daydream state to stare at Aizawa who now had one eye open, gazing at your figure. The tips of your ears would flush and you would quickly shake your head “S-Sorry.. You just looked so peaceful is all” you admitted, which caused a deep honey coated chuckle to leave his throat. 

“Come here, kitty” he ordered quietly. It seemed like your body was more compliant than your mind because right when his sentence finished to linger in the air, you would move forward and take a seat at the edge of the bed next to him. 

His strong hand was quick to come up and rest against your lower back “Kitten, is it too soon?” he asked in a low rumble. Meeting his gaze, you would purse your lips innocently at the question “Too soon for what?” you’d ask tilting your head some. Grabbing the back of your shirt he would pull you to lay on top of him “You know what I’m talking about, kitten.. I want you” he purred. 

Though you were laying on him, you would cross your arms and let out a soft huff “Yeah? Just because I gave you another chance doesn’t mean I’m going to immediately let you fuck me” you breathed, still enjoying his warmth caressing your body. “Oh?.. But what if I could.. Convince you?” he teased, causing your thighs to squeeze together. Slick had been pooling in your panties since he pulled you on top of him, you knew he would win- But being the competitive girl you were, you would huff “Fine, if you think you can convince me, then go ahead and try” you’d say with a firm nod. 

Aizawa wasted no time with grabbing his capture scarf from his neck, the fabric immediately going around your wrists and pulling them to your chest “O-Oi, wouldn’t that count as cheating” you breathed out as the male shifted himself out from under you “Hm? We didn’t state any rules, kitten..” he trailed off with a smirk.

The tightness caught you off guard, looking down you would watch as the scarf made itself comfortable around your plush skin. Aizawa was quick to crawl on the bed, his hands slowly prying your thighs apart so he could get in between “Do you know how hard it was for me to not bombard you last night? This cute little skirt and those sexy fucking thigh highs.. You were driving me mad” he growled, his fingers slowly kneading into your upper thighs, his nails just barely gazing you, sending jolts of shivers throughout your entire body. 

He was doing this on purpose, massaging you so close to your dripping cunt. You already wanted him to cave, but something in you said that you’d be able to hold out just a little bit longer “Mmn.. Kitten, your skin is so soft” he groaned, itching himself down so his face could press against you. Letting out a shaky breath, you would quickly let out a soft mewl as his stubble grazed against you, and that mewl became louder when you felt his teeth sink in. 

“What are you doing?” you’d gasp out, going to move your hands to his hair but the fabric would tightly hold you back. The male didn’t answer for a minute, he was sucking on the inside of your thigh, his tongue lapping at it eagerly. With staggered breathing, you would lay there to take it, your legs twitching around his body. When the male finally came up, he would look you in the eye with a mischievous smirk “I was marking you” he growled, his hand moving to brush against the now purplish pink mark that painted your thigh “M-Marked me?” you’d ask in a hazy state “Yes, my pretty little kitten.. You’re mine now, I had to make it official” he said with a chuckle before lifting himself up just to grab a hold of your skirt, raising it slightly to see just how wet you were. 

“My, my.. Look at that pussy, I can see your folds twitch through your panties.. Mn.. and that damp spot?” He’d muse, his eyes occasionally glancing at your face to see just how red it has gotten “A-Aizawa.. Please” you muttered out embarrassed, but his hand would quickly cut you off “No, no kitten.. Is that anyway to speak to your old homeroom teacher?” he asked sternly, which caused your breathing to once again irregular.

“Mr.Aizawa?” you’d ask sheepishly, which earned you a firm smack against your ass “That’s a good girl.. Right now, you will address me as Mr. Aizawa” he said before dropping your skirt and deciding to just get rid of it altogether. Watching as the fabric was sent flying, you would attempt to close your legs, but he was quick to place his hands on both of your knees to keep them from denying him such a lewd sight. 

“Now, Kitten.. Do you want me to stop? By the look of that sopping pussy- I’d say it’s a no” he said with a smirk before moving a hand to press against your clothed slit, rubbing up and down painfully slow “A-Ah..No..M-Mr. Aizawa” you would quickly groan out. “Then what is it you’d like me to do?” he asked

You didn’t want to admit it, you caved when all he did was give you a hickey! It wasn’t fair that this man had such a hold on you “I want.. Your cock, Mr. Aizawa” you’d stutter out quietly, which made the male smile, his hand quick to shrug down his pants and boxers. You would watch as his length sprung free, already dripping with pre cum “Okay, Kitten.. But where do you want my cock, hm?” he continued to press. 

Letting out a loud whine, you would throw your head back onto the pillow “I want you to fuck me, Mr. Aizawa!! Please!” you’d beg, rolling your hips forward against his finger moaning from the touch against your almost naked core, protected only by the thin fabric of your sopping panties. 

The male would let out a primal growl at your words, his finger hooking around the fabric and pushing it aside, his eyes narrowing in on that sloppy pussy “Mr. Aizawa is going to take good care of you, kitten” he growled, his capture scarf loosing from your wrists “Get undressed, now” he ordered in a low domineering tone, shaking your core. 

Quickly sitting up, you would lift your hips and discard the ruined panties before quickly taking off your shirt and bra, he would do the same, though his gaze never left you. When you had both completely rid of your clothing, he would put his hands on your hips, staring down at you with such a scary gaze “W-Why are you looking at me like that?” you’d ask quietly, which made that gaze meet yours. “I’m just thinking about all the filthy things I’m going to do to this sexy body of yours, kitten.. Mm” he said in a hoarse tone before caging you in his arms and trapping you underneath his naked body. His breath would hit your face as one of his arms trailed to one of your breasts, roughly grabbing onto it and starting to roll your erect nipple in between his finger tips. 

“M-Mr. Aizawa.. P- ah! Please.. I can’t wait any longer” you would moan out, your legs raising and wrapping around his waist to try and pull him closer. He didn’t answer, he only met your lips to lock into a feverish kiss, his tongue quick to demand entrance. Parting your lips, you would find his dominant wet muscle easily pinning yours down so he could explore the depths, his hand leaving your breast cold and sensitive and it reached down to grab onto his cock, stroking it a few times and rubbing it against your drooling slit. 

Moaning into his mouth, you would buck your hips forward, causing his swollen head to push against your clit. Breaking the kiss he would growl at you “Patience kitten, you’ll get what you want..” he warned, causing you to bite your lip. 

It was within seconds when you felt his thick, long shaft pushing inside of you. Stretching you out to fill his cock. Velvet walls were quick to cling around his cock and his head would hang forward. 

You would let out a loud moan in bewilderment, absolutely astonished by the way Aizawa made you feel as he buried himself in that needy pussy. The male kept inching himself in until his base was at your folds, his engorged cock head easily kissing your womb. He would let out another growl and lift his head slightly to nip at your lower lip “I’m going to make sure nobody is going to be able to pleasure you like me, you won’t ever be able to get off to another man” he said possessively, which made your walls constrict around his throbbing cock “Oh? You like that Kitten? You like it when your teacher claims you?” he moaned, which resulted in a minuscule nod on your end.

Thankfully, he didn’t make you wait much longer. Soon his hips began rutting against you roughly, earning a moan from the both of you as your sweet cunt continued to suck him in “So..fucking tight, kitten.. God damn, you’re fucking perfect” he said breathlessly as he met your lips once again. Continuously moaning against his lips, the feeling of every vein rubbing against your walls was noted, sending waves of pleasure through your core. Before you could even say anything, you would break the kiss and practically scream as your first orgasm ripped through you, causing you to clench further on his cock, which he plowed right through, hitting that G-Spot over and over. 

“That’s right, Kitten.. Cum all over my fucking cock, destroy my bed sheets with your slick.. So fucking good” he growled, his hips still moving. 

By this point, Aizawa had bottomed out in you, his balls were slapping roughly against your folds and the male held you so tightly you felt short of breath “Mn, fuck yeah.. Gonna fill you baby girl, you want that? Tell me you want me to fill you up to the fucking brim” he grunted, which made your lips part in a moan as you could feel your second orgasm nearing “Y-Yes, Mr. Aizawa! Cum inside of me.. Please, I’m begging you!” you pleaded loudly, which resulted in one last rough thrust before you could feel searing hot ropes of cum start to coat your walls. Arching your back, you would feel another orgasm ripping through you, clenching so hard on his cock that you made sure you milked him for all he had. 

Collapsing on top of you, his stubble would tickle at your neck as he placed small kisses up and down “F-fuck, Y/N.. Your pussy is marvelous” he groaned out. Biting your lip and stifling back a blush you would giggle out “Your cock isn’t that bad either” you’d pant. 

“I can’t wait to do so many filthy things to you, Kitten.. You’re mine now” he whispered into your ear, his teeth grabbing a hole of your lobe, causing you to gasp out.

“Y-Yes, Mr. Aizawa.. I’m yours” you’d mutter out. 

The male would roll off of you, making you whine and feeling your use hole feel so empty. “Good girl, now come here” he whispered, pulling you against his side. Cuddling into him, you wouldn’t be able to control the smile on your face. 

I guess shit like this really does come true..

Tag list: @hipster-merchant-of-death​ @nighthoodhawk​

[cotncandyboifics]

1989 [High School AU]: Chapter 9

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 8 ~

Pairings: slight Logince, eventual Prinxiety & Logicality

Word count: 2,043

Story summary: Roman Prince is your stereotypical Jock, with everyone swooning after him. Every day a crowd of people follow him around, only to disperse at his personal whim. In reality, he's lucky to have such good acting skills that help him cover up the disdain he has for his life. He only wishes he could use his skills properly.

Patton Whitelock's always there to lend a helping hand, no matter who you are. If you need a favor or just need someone to talk to, go to him. In reality, he's been taught from a young age that kindness should be held above all else. No one suspects that he took it the wrong way.

Logan Montgomery is the smartest boy in the Senior class. He's stern, and most people are too intimidated to speak to him. In reality, he despises most all of his fellow students. He sticks to his studies and doesn't stray, for fear of being stuck in his father's shadow his whole life.

Virgil Black is the most emo kid in school, let alone 12th grade; everyone knows to leave him be. In reality, he's very fortunate. He has two parents who love him dearly. But everything beyond his life, everything within his mind, is utter chaos and turmoil.

what will happen when they're assigned a biology project together?

General CW: food, swearing, implied s-lf h-rm, non-graphic descriptions of s-lf h-rm scars, graphic and non-graphic descriptions of anxiety attacks and panic attacks, drug abuse, minor character intoxicated on heroin, non-graphic drug overdose description, sickness/description of sickness, blood, non-graphic descriptions of needles, (will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: swearing, food/meal mention, (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: the massive amounts of gay panic. this chapter was fun to write

...

Roman returned to find his room far less lively. The tall nerd and the short puffball have seemingly disappeared! Of course Roman knew they'd likely just gone home, but what fun is life without a little exciting drama?

The only one left was Virgil, who was curled in on himself on Roman's bed, a pillow in his lap and phone in his hands yet again. Roman sighed dramatically, sprawling out beside his darkly dressed counterpart.

"Is this what they meant when they said 'get a room?'" He commented after a long boring silence, waggling his eyebrows when Virgil looked at him with wide eyes.

"Oh shut up," Virgil looked away, slamming his pillow into Roman's face in a fit of deja-vu.

"Oh come on! Look up the word joke in the dictionary, Jack Smellington!" Roman said exasperatedly. Virgil shook out his luminescent hair, which was now out of his hood and proudly on display. Roman couldn't convince himself to look away.

"As much as I appreciate being compared to one of my favorite Disney characters, that was a bit- what?" Virgil looked at him confusedly, and that's what finally got Roman to look away.

"Nothing." He said shortly. He considered apologizing, but he figured that would make him look worse. Virgil just laughed lightly, not awkwardly. Mostly to himself about Roman's dorkiness. Roman felt his face heat up, and hated himself for it.

"Well, I should probably get home..." Virgil flopped back onto Roman's bed, stretching his arms out above his head. his shirt lifted slightly to follow, and Roman caught a glimpse of his navel, as well as some impressively sharp hip bones, and the very gentle start of a V-line. He forced himself to look away that time. Getting caught looking at someone's hair is one thing, but... but that, was something else entirely. Roman was already in dangerous waters, and he knew it.

"Ehem, well, I know you denied me last time," Roman began, flopping down beside Virgil and looking up at his pride flag, "but the offer of a ride is still up for grabs. Unless you'd rather be stuck on the bus at night for half an hour." Roman crossed his arms over his chest, and Virgil sat up to lean over him. He nearly opted to retort and deny the offer more snarkily than last time's failed attempt, but...

Roman's eyes. He'd never been close enough and calm enough simultaneously to really look at them; they were a deep melted milk chocolate brown, and held nearly imperceptible flecks of shining red. Virgil's eyebrows knit together, and he leaned closer to look into Roman's eyes more properly.

He didn't realize what he'd done until he'd started to reach down, almost putting his hand on Roman's cheek, and Roman made a small squealing noise to go with his completely tomatoed face. Virgil gasped slightly louder than he'd meant to and immediately recoiled.

"Shit, sorry, I just..." he considered shutting his ridiculous mouth and trying to move on, but he figured he couldn't leave that one without some kind of excuse. "I just haven't really looked at your eyes before. Not like, really, I mean. They're... nice. I like the little red bits." His voice grew much quieter as he spoke. He was facing away from Roman, and thank god, because if Roman could see his face he'd see peach-colored cheeks and a childish smile. And how very uncharacteristic of Virgil that would be.

"Thanks," Roman finally managed to huff. He stood slowly, trying to gather himself, and walked over to his desk, grabbing his car keys. He jangled them in his fingers, raising his eyebrows and silently asking Virgil if he'd take him up on the ride offer. Virgil, who had barely managed to discipline his face before Roman turned to him, just smiled very slightly and nodded.

Virgil grabbed his backpack, and Roman led the way from his room and out the front door to his ridiculous shiny-red mustang, which happened to have white racer stripes. Virgil thought this was pretty funny, but kept a sarcastic tease to himself for once in his life.

Virgil texted Roman his address from the passenger seat. While the bus ride to Virgil's house from Roman's was about 20-30 minutes, the car ride was less than 10. Roman considered putting on some music, but decided against it, considering what happened the last time they were alone with just music and each other. What the heckity heck is happening here?  When I imagine... love... this is what comes to mind. He cringed at himself, surprised and disgusted that he was admitting that. This doesn't feel the same as it does with Logan though... so then, maybe I truly love Logan, and Virgil just inexplicably makes my heart flutter? Of course, the only other possibility is so much worse-

Roman's thoughts were interrupted by Virgil shouting "RED LIGHT!!!" very suddenly, and Roman slammed the breaks.

"Jesus Princey, are you trying to kill me!? Is that why you were so hell-bent on driving me home??" Virgil's voice was mostly panic, but laced with some half-hearted sarcasm. He clearly had more panic and less sarcasm in it than he'd meant to. He was holding onto his seat and the door beside him for dear life, looking at Roman with wide eyes, his chest heaving comically. Roman was too dazed to laugh.

"Shit, I'm sorry," He looked up at the street light, which was in fact red. "I got lost in thought for a minute. I won't let it happen again while I'm responsible for you. My deepest apologies." Roman would have normally faux bowed and reached out for Virgil's hand to kiss his knuckles, but unfortunately Virgil was making him feel... well, bitterly jittery and not very glittery. Or maybe, too glittery. He didn't know anymore; all he knew is he had to leave his thoughts for when he got Virgil and then himself home safe.

"Lost in thought?" Virgil let that little comment slip sooner than he could corral himself, and almost brought his hand to cover his mouth, but far too late. Roman just looked at him anxiously, sighing.

"Yeah. I guess so." Roman wasn't normally this dismissive, and Virgil knew far better at this point than to press.

Before they were even on Virgil's street, he broke their awkward silence with an extremely unexpected "thanks for driving me home, Ro. You didn't have to, and I really appreciate it."

Roman was shaken to the core, partially by Virgil's sincerity and partially by the nickname. "Oh, uh, well, no need to thank me now. I nearly killed you once, and you aren't safe and sound at your destination just yet." He smiled softly over at the taller emo. Virgil just returned the smile.

A few moments later came a quiet "really though." Virgil's capacity for sincerity wasn't very extensive, and if anyone knew that it was Roman. He felt a blush creeping up his neck, and couldn't think of a good response.

Finally Roman turned onto Virgil's street, adhering to the 10 mph speed limit. He cruised to a stop in front of... what was apparently Virgil's house.

It wasn't what Roman was expecting at all. Not that his... notion, that Virgil's house looked something like Gru's house from Despicable Me, was something he thought was realistic. He just hadn't known how else to imagine it. Instead of anything close to dark and sinister, the outer walls were made of some gentle tan planks all stacked horizontally. There was a light turquoise front door with a rounded top, and to its left a large window covered most of the street-facing wall. In the window, Roman could see a round inviting table with a mother, a father and a young boy sharing dinner, all smiling and seemingly caught up in their nightly banter. They were all laughing and seemed so... happy. The house itself seemed to emanate a calm happiness.

"Is this...?" Roman gestured vaguely toward the house with the address Virgil had given him.

"Yep. There's my parents, and my brother. I guess I just missed the start of dinner." Virgil reached down between his ankles to grab his bag.

"Talk about clashing aesthetics." Roman smiled mischievously at Virgil, hoping to lighten the mood without sounding like a complete jerk, at least.

Virgil caught onto this, looking over and offering him a breathy laugh. "I know. It's almost a crime for me to live here."

Roman giggled, and they found themselves stuck looking into each other's eyes once again.

"W-well, I'd better-" Virgil turned and made to open his door, but something possessed Roman to lean over to Virgil and grab his shirt, accidentally pulling him far too close to his face. They both yelped simultaneously at the close proximity, and Virgil leapt back as far as his seat would allow him, grabbing it similarly to how he'd done when Roman had nearly driven through the red light earlier.

Virgil almost said something, but some noise outside stopped him. He turned to seek its source, giving Roman a view past him as well.

"Virgil, honey, is that you?" his mom called from the doorstep. She held Atticus on her hip, and Virgil's dad towered behind them in the doorway. all of them were waving. Virgil waved back deftly, and opened the car door. He turned to Roman once again, who looked as though someone had just stomped on his heart and twisted their foot viciously.

Virgil couldn't bring himself to smile at him, but offered instead something he hoped sounded kind. "See you in class tomorrow. And... thanks again for the ride."

With that, Virgil got out and shut the door behind him, and Roman watched as he reunited with his picture perfect family, unable to move for some god forsaken reason.

"Is that one of your friends from that biology project, Virgil? He's so cute!" Roman could hear Virgil's mom squeal at her approaching son.

"Mom, leave it be, will you? he's-" Virgil's voice was cut off as their front door was shut. Roman eventually managed to take a single deep breath.

He twisted in his seat to face forward again, gripping the steering wheel with whitening knuckles and staring blankly at the mustang logo in the wheel's center. What. Was. That.

...

Roman's ride home was fast. At least, it felt much faster than the ride to Virgil's house. He didn't come close to running any more red lights, and before he knew it he was twisting the keys out of the ignition and then stepping through his front door.

He couldn't shake the daze that was clouding all of his senses. He wasn't intercepted by either of his parents on his route from the front door to his bedroom, so there was nothing to distract him from his... distractedness. He flopped onto his bed, laying on his back the same way he'd done less than half an hour ago when Virgil had almost...

That's when the haziness suddenly sped up, and the fog in Roman's brain rapidly became a hurricane. He was so confused by his own feelings that he had to squeeze his eyes shut to will away a sob. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. He pushed the palms of his hands against his closed eyelids, trying to distract himself with the aching pain and sparkling stars they brought to his eyes.

Meanwhile, Virgil had eaten dinner, thankfully and willingly accepting the pleasant distraction of his family's company. His mom was an excellent cook, and Atticus was extra animated about the stories of his adventures at school that day. He and his best friend had apparently played by the creek during recess, and found a tadpole to poke and prod. Virgil found his brother very endearing when he told his stories.

However, as all things are, his distraction was only temporary. Soon he found himself having finished the washing up after dinner and slowly trudging his way up the stairs to his room. The moment he shut his door behind him, all of the feelings that had been kept down since he'd gotten out of Roman's car crashed into him like a 20 foot wave. He leaned back against the shut door, sinking down to sit on the floor and hold his knees.

Roman and Virgil, clueless of each other, had the exact same thought at the exact same time.

Fuck. Why do I feel this way?

[southslates]

Sorry I accidentally posted this as a note instead! I absolutely love your work! How about Zutara + “Betty” from folklore!

“I'm only seventeen I don't know anything”

i.

Katara stands in front of him. And then she blinks; and then she keeps staring. Zuko's features look utterly, completely, unreservedly terrified. He looks like he is about to fall apart, right then, as she takes him in.

He has tracked her and Aang across the entire world, and she does not know what he is doing here, but she feels, for some reason, guilty. Her heart beats against her chest wildly.

She should go tell the others about this. She lifts her foot up, and the prince looks like she has just started stomping on all of his hopes and dreams. She knows that gaze, marred as it is, all too well.

So she steps forward, feet pounding the pavement until she is truly right in front of him. Her voice wavers.

"I'd like some tea, please."

ii.

The girl keeps coming back to the teahouse. He wants her to leave. She is just a reminder of his past and she holds so much power over him. He doesn't like that. He wants her to leave.

On her fifth day she reaches a hand out and grabs his arm. She has been wearing this strange facade, acting absolutely nonchalant, and his fingers flex as his mind readies him for a fight. But her grasp is light and she lets go when he turns around.

"You owe me an explanation," she says.

"I'm not here to hurt you," he shudders out.

"I know." Her cool eyes are blue but they bear fiery holes into him. She gestures towards the kitchen, where Iroh is watching this strange conversation. "I still want to know."

iii.

He shudders when he's near her, and she finds that strange. But some part of her feels at peace when she flops up onto the kitchen table. He had moved away when she had come close to him -

She wonders, briefly, who has ever touched him; the ugly skin across his face looks like a hand mark.

"You're not trying to capture us."

It's a statement, and he doesn't respond. Iroh exits the door and slams it shut behind him until it is the two of them, just them, facing each other amongst roaring teapots.

"No."

"Why?"

"This - this is fine."

"That's not what I - why did you want to capture us, in the first place?"

His left eye is slanted and his lips curl down. She doesn't think she has ever seen him smile. "It doesn't matter. I'm fine now. You should leave."

"I don't want to."

"Look, waterbender -"

"My name is Katara," she lilts, so curious; he glares further.

"Look, Katara. Let me go. I don't want to cause any trouble."

She slides off the table and heads to the backdoor, pausing to give him one last long look. It seems searching. "It's my turn, Prince Zuko."

iv.

"Moonpeach bun today," she requests, and he doesn't say anything to that, just stands there with his brow tilted quizzically. She looks up a moment later. "What? I'm hungry."

She has never bought food here, before; something is changing, but the metal clamp over his heart almost releases itself.

"Okay," he says.

"Okay," she replies.

v.

One day she comes in and he is not here. She knows his schedule, the patterns; she walks up to the desk and asks the old man there what has happened. He seems to note her interest with a quirk of his lips.

"Lee is sick," he tells her. "He isn't here today."

She has seen this boy in both poles, has frozen him intimately. It's strange to think that the warrior who kept fighting with his eyes bruised and body aching would succumb to the ills of the flesh. "Where is he?"

"Should I trust you, Master Katara?"

"You know -"

"I know a lot of things. And I care for my nephew," he frowns, but she feels validated. "Come back."

vi.

"How did you manage to get an infection here?" a voice sounds from above him, and he winces in pain at its high note. That does not sound like Uncle.

"W--what?"

His right eye blearily opens and he wants to jump away when he's faced with that deep, startling blue. Katara does not seem angry over him. Now that he is alert his nerves are tingling, and he looks down to see her hands on his bare chest. Color rises to his cheek, but she seems unaffected.

"You seem to enjoy hurting yourself," she says almost teasingly, but she does not even know half the truth. Zuko is not good at taking care of himself, and he had left this wound to fester. He does not always mind being Lee, but sometimes he feels that this life will never be enough.

Now, he is slightly lucid. "Why are you here?"

Her hands glow, clinically, on his chest. "I'm healing you."

"Why?"

Her features, gorgeous in the night's light, dim. "That doesn't matter."

vii.

He is different, now. He is calmer at a surface level, but she sees a fire that lives within; his blood feels like it is boiling.

She's curious about what lies further; she knows she should not be.

viii.

"That girl knows we're firebenders," he whispers, and Uncle turns.

"Of course Master Katara knows the truth. What is the problem?"

"I wasn't talking about her -" But she's here, still, and she walks right up to him at the counter. It has been different, after the day she showed up to his apartment. It has been something tentative, something like friendship.

"Hi," she says breathlessly, and he can't help himself.

"Hi."

They stare at each other before Iroh's sharp whistle draws them out of this; a brown head turns and leaves the shop in the distance.

ix.

There is some sort of festival in the streets, and she avoids dancing performers to wander into an almost empty shop. Pao is not there, so she steps into the kitchen freely; neither men inside are surprised to see her there.

"What's going on?" she asks. Zuko reaches next to him and places a steaming cup of tea in her hands. He is not wearing his apron right now; he looks different. He looks less broad and more defined, and she likes looking at him. She does.

"The Celebration of the Lotus Sky," Iroh says cheerfully. "A nice parade, no? You should be out there, Master Katara." Something lies unspoken; where is the Avatar? Aang would love this, but he is busy with Toph. She frowns thinking about it and almost drops the cup. Zuko places his hand right in front of her, and she smiles at him.

A strange sort of hope is blooming in her chest. "It sounds fun."

Zuko looks like he is struggling with something for a moment. Iroh takes that time to leave. But then he looks at her, golden eyes looking strangely innocent, and speaks. "Yeah, it does."

x.

Something comes together under that sky; lanterns float by them, and she gets him to actually speak once they find a vendor selling Fire Nation cuisine.

She pays for him, and he does not know how to feel about that. He is distracted as they walk through the streets, as she seems young and jubilant. Here, she is just Katara. Not a master, not calculated; she is just here. She is not playing games with him.

It feels nice, because everyone plays games with him.

She pulls him to a fountain after they've exhausted the path, and his cheeks are hurting with laughter for the first time since . . . since his mother had died. She had tried to make him dance and accepted his shake of a head; she had laughed over noodles with him, had made funny faces in mirrors until his smile moved. She had tried, and that makes all the difference.

The sconces are unlit, and she looks at them wistfully. He wishes he could light them, but he cannot risk that, and that leaves him disappointed in himself.

And then Katara leans herself up against his shoulder, and he feels like he could burn down this entire city with the fire that rages within him.

He does not know if there is something here. He almost wishes that there was.

xi.

Nothing good ever lasts. She feels like she had something fragile, like she is about to break it here, sitting on the floor of the Crystal Catacombs.

"That's something we have in common," he says, and she cannot resist walking over to him. She places her hand on his scar, and he does not look scared when her thumb skims his lip. He does not look resigned. He looks peaceful.

Then something breaks and she turns away, and he sees the Avatar, and his heart stops beating.

xii.

She sees him look at her, at his sister. Isn't the choice obvious? She is right here. They have created something here, carved it out in the tea house. She is right here. But Aang is also right here, and she does not know how to verbalize her feelings like that.

That is her mistake. He asks her a question with his eyes, and she freezes.

xiii.

He wants her to tell him that this will not be worth it. He wants her to lay her head on his shoulder and stop him from doing this. Because he remembers the fish in the pond, and he thinks about good and evil, and he does not know.

He needs her to have faith in him.

She hesitates, and she looks at the Avatar, and all he can feel is rage.

xiv.

"I trusted you," she screams.

xv.

"Not enough," he doesn't say.

/

“The worst thing that I ever did Was what I did to you”  - Taylor Swift, Betty

(Indulgence & an S2 AU that got away from me. I’m not a hundred percent sure what you were looking for, but I hope this works aha. Thanks for requesting @colourtheworldwithrainbows​ & I’m so glad you like my writing & I hope you enjoyed this :) Even though I definitely bungled the prompt aha.

If anyone has a Zutara request/prompt you’d like to see written, leave it in my ask box and I’ll write it!)

[goatpaste]

WC design/headcannon/ect masterlist- Part B

another chunk of all the headcanos/AU’s/design notes/warrior names for kits and leaders never given a canon one/ect for all the wario cats!

this one is for all the B named cats!

info under the cut

Badgerfang

badgerfang i think a lot of us have a big ol soft spot for, but ought i really care him and his family i think it needs more than jusT the badgerfang death like for real

one of the biggest reasons i wanna learn to animate is because i wanna make a badgerfang and flintfang amv! it would be sdkg more about flintfang because i think he’s a neat character who has a lot of potential for development 

like mAN you ever stop and think about not only was flintfang sad over badgerfangs death because it was sad, bUT also because badgerfang was his sisters kit AND to the thought of blackstar is flintfangs brother. flintfang had to deal with playing a hand in badgerfangs death then watch his brother loyally follow brokenstar, then tigerstar 🥺

Baypaw

baypaw was the first of his lil chunk of family i design, i didnt have a sorrelstripe design made yet so i ultimately decided to base his design on his grandpa Lionblaze. smaller fluffy lionblaze.

I know we should be coming up to baypaw getting their warrior name soon

i think a name like Baysong or Baygale

Beech Tail

the only thing i have  to say is dgjksh when i designed the ‘beech’ prefix designs it was late and i totally went ‘beech... the beach’ and noT beech the tree sdjkgh. so i designed beech tail like that of a penguin sdjkgh

Beechfur

beechfur , riverclan warrior under mistystar’s leadership

i imagine beechfur is be EXTREMely accident prone, from the first instant of getting sick and healed by leafpool all the way up till the end. He is in and out of the medicine cats den constantly. and through this formed a big ol crush on the pretty medicine cat apprentice Willowshine who has had to full on decline his feelings. he is not the only one who has had this treatment, many a riverclan cats have found themself charmed by willowshine

Beechpaw

Beechpaw, a apprentice of ancient skyclan who were forced to leave the forest territory.  i imagine beechpaw was of the few cats who did everything he could to keep the others in good spirit while they tried to find their home, which often came to the annoyance of all his distraught clanmates. he never stopped doing all he could to put a smile on their face until he died.

he was the last apprentice cloudstar named a warrior and only lived a few moons after becoming one.

warrior names i like for him are like Beechshed or Beechshine

Beenose

slight update to my beenose design because i want her to fit my newer darktail group clown aesthetic 

another design note is her and her siblings all are themed after a diff color of the rainbow, beenose is yellow. their mom snowbird has a pale rainbow pattern and each other her kits is a diff color of the rainbow

Beetlewhisker

Beetlewhisker is another one of my quiet favorites i have, and it is because of the error of him being alive for SO many books after he died.

like !!! bitch had a HUGE major death and went on to live for a long time aND be listed as a cats mentor (which i think that has been changed now)

i love the idea of in a way beetlewhisker WAS with the clans that long after his death. that due to his death was in a way locked in the dark forest, his soul stuck there. but because of the ways of the dark forest cat’s he was chased out, and unable to enter starclan having died in the dark forest, now cursed to live in limbo.

He walks to the grounds of riverclan watching over his clanmates while they rest hoping that no one else is to be preyed upon by the dark forest like he was ever again. 

theres ghost stories of riverclan cats seeing the shape of a cat shining brightly when hit by moonlight. a peaceful spirit of the past who protects them.

and in design 100% his design was made to look like that of a smeleton bones lol

Bellaleaf

the erin team will have to pry bellaleaf and firestar being siblings from my cold dead hands!!

you can’t say they look basically exactly alike and their not related i wont take it sdjkg. i DIE for the idea oh whore jake managing to have so many kids that get into the clans. like the over saturation of jake dna through the clans ruining them absolutely kills me sdjkg

i also imagine ravenpaw having like deja vu of firestar when he looks at bella, cats who knew firestar look at her and can’t help feel she reminds them of someone. 

Berryheart

another one of the designfor snowbirds kits, berryheart is the red themed sibling.

she also got a slight design change to be more clowny to fit her time in darktail’s group

Berrynose

i just love berrynose, i think hes very terrible and i love him a lot

i think the books are cowards and i think berrystar woulda been the fUNniest outcome oR like

imagine the powermove if berrynose lived and squirrelflight fucking made berrynose her deputy likE

also berrynose is a lil gay brat, he has a thick country accent and everyone find him weirdly charming. many hate him but cant help but find him alluring. 

he actually is a very good warrior, he stays on top of his task and brings in the prey. his biggest problem is his ego and his need to get in others faces all the time

i love when he’s paired with lionblaze because their stupid rivarly is so good i really wish it was more plot important and lasted longer i LIVE for best friend rivals lion and berry

buT i also love him with jayfeather for the simple dynamic of the one cat who would probably hate him more than anyone else but oops he’s in love to

or him and breezepelt because they could be lil shitheads togeather

Birchface

the biggest thing i can say about birchface is 100% birchface watched over mapleshade’s kits, doesnt let appledusk or his own family hurt them. He treats them like his own.

in AU’s where birchface lives i defiantly can see him having a HUGE crush on mapleshade and being much like thrushpelt was to bluefur. being as a surrogate dad for her kits and keeping the secret.

in my main AU with mapleshade dieing and getting a redemption its mostly the same except they become a sweet happy family together in starclan.

he’s a big goofy dad type and his father had hoped he would become leader one day, but worried that he was too lax with the code and not as driven to fight as others and began to think he would have to rely on frecklewish instead. then they both died and he ended up turning to his youngest son pinefur

Blade

this is just a one time ghost cat buT  i like the design i made for her.

im all here for dark forest cats having this black oozing mark from where they died, starclan gets being covered in stardust and maybe having from pretty plats or glow or other representative stuff on their death. but ghost cats are loUD with their mark of death. its a nagging weight they carry around based on their inability to move on to their respective afterlives. For blade its giant bright red tire marks that slowly circle around her body.

Blazefire

just a lil boy

i imagine he kinda constantly has crushes on cats from other clans which while some might tell him to hush when he shares his thoughts on the pretty cat from riverclan he gets some loving teasing from dovewing and antfur

Blazefire is also miss nearly all of his tail

Blizzardstar and Blizzardwing

not much here but to say 100% i designed blizzardwing in mind of being that of a grandson or great grandson to blizzardstar

Blossomfall

shrug idk a lot to say about her beyond, i know she’s a asshole character but i remember liking her, i think she’s mean but its kinda fun in a way

i think i also just have this soft spot for millies kits because their millie’s

also i just like my blossomfall design i think she’s v fun

Blossomkit

another shadowclan kit who died under brokenstar’s ruling.

i think as sad as it is, i can imagine blossomkit to be badgerfang’s sister, just another sad thing to think about for fernshade’s litter. the potential idea of all her kit’s dying because of brokenstar

a warrior name for her that would been cute woulda been like Blossomglaze or blossomsprout

Bluebellkit

bluebellkit sure disappeared from the books. she’s one of those kits that like, she already had a mouth full of a name and i wish i coulda seen what they woulda named her as a warrior

but she’s another one of snowbird’s rainbow themed kids, her ofc being the blue one.

i think a cute warrior name for her could been Bluebellwhistle or bluebellfoot

Blouder

i lobe boulder i think he is very under appreciated!! 

i think it be very fun to get a novella or something in this POV,,

he’s just hangin out back there yknow,,,

Bouncefire

(bit of an art change from here as i took a break between these two and switched programs)

idk a lot about actual bouncefire, i think the only books with any real characterization in it was ones i havent read

buT id really like to imagine growing up he saw his mentor patchfoot as a father figure and was ultimately the reason patchfoot and his mom got together. and bouncefire being absolutely ecstatic about it. thinking patchfoot is the coolest guy

bouncefire gets along good with his half siblings

gay cat and wanna be emo but just is kinda angy

Brackenfur

my biggest brackenfur AU is my medicat brackenfur which i have info of here

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/631020627780911104/au-where-insteed-of-fireheart-picking-up

and

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/632972589046890496/mmm-writing-out-like-big-plot-point-changes-in-my

the other thing vaguely mention in these but would probably be more prominent in his og story

but brackenfur is quietly the biggest mess in the family. Being on pare with confidence and energy as cinderpelt when they were young, after her accident somethin changed for him. he loved his sister but is a big distant. but its hardly noticeable between the two as they worked very separate jobs in the clan

then his other sister, brightpaw has her accident and brackenfur begins to question something

but when he his the last to leave in the thunderclan group to their new home he stops and looks back at his mother frostfur who is old and frail look, though she wasnt young the damage of the forest hit her hard. 

this when brackenfur decides starclan has it out for his family, especially the mollies. they were cursed he was sure.

moons later he is expecting his kits with sorreltail, letting his mind rest on the idea, the crazy notion that some greater force wanted the she-cats in his family dead. 

then the day his kits arrive cinderpelt dies to the badgers. he pushes down these feelings down again it was the time. But he couldn’t help but think that, if leafpool was there, if starclan had given them a sign of the badgers, anything. maybe cinderpelt might have lived. but he pushes it back down and tells himself it was a warriors death

and then his daughter, cinderpaw is struck by the tree and the stirring in his mind grows stronger. why has starclan done this to his family

then honeyfern gets bit by the snake. how could starclan be so cruel, their always so young.

then his sweet sorreltail fought strongly for her two young daughters future

and on his own, forced to watch seedpaw drown and lilypaw be haunted by what happened.

the women in brackenfurs family is cursed and he bears the burden of relizing it, of living and watching each of them suffer until the end

to the ones that lived and are happy still, with no burdens in their lives he watches happily making sure NOTHING bad comes their way. he would fight starclan themselves to make sure his family is safe and happy

Breezepelt

in design Breezepelt has a p average length tail. which for him is a huge disappointment. His father crowfeather has a long slender windclan tail, a trait that is held to high standards in his family. a trait passed all the way down from windstar herself who had the longest and most beautifully windy tail. 

Breezepelt has a angry spot about this because he feels lacking and especially disconnected to his father. BUT double this with jayfeather having only half windclan blood has a tail even longer than crowfeathers 

i also would NOT put breezepelt with heathertail, i dont see any reason for it. like first off this bitch gay, id love for him to have a boyfriend and it think it should be berrynose because one, their both terrible i think it be funny and i also think its funny to ship berrynose with lionblaze or jayfeather so im like, whats another brother (to be clear not shipped all together, this is separately) and two, the idea heathertail and poppyfrost lesbian could exist

then the big BIg thing is, i would take breezepelts character and gut what happened in crowfeathers trial out of both him and crowfeather

i talk about it a bit here, but i think ill re talk about it in full when i get to crowfeather https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/190544981670/breezepelt

Briarlight

miss briarlight i love you!!

very sweetgirl

i based her design off sakuras and bleed heart doves. idk what possessed me but when i went to design her i knEW she was gonna be pink she needed to be she deserved it

briarlight buff as shit in her forlegs she loves trying to rope leafpool and jayfeather into lil strength contest she always wins (sometimes she will let leafpool win on days she needs it) 

her and jayfeather are wlw/mlm best friends. jayfeather calls her pidge which started as a mean nickname that she simply loved and embraced fully

also in my AU with medicat lionblaze i can very much see briarlight and lionblaze being very sweet friends. like big strong lionblaze who is actually docile and compassionate about his work and briarlight loud and rooting him on

Brick

swear to god until i got back into warrior cats this year i had always thought brick was a lady and her and bone were suppous to be scourges like adoptive bad parents jkdg

anyways im still with that, she/her agender brick who adopts their terrible son scourge and is in a monogamous partnership with bone’s. strictly business defiantly not married, they just have a son together. 

Brindlewing

idk a ton about her, but from her wiki it dsjkgh doesnt look like theirs  alot

but i’d like to imagine she’s a very anxious girl and struggles in crowds especially around cat she doesn't know. she feels more comfortable when one of her sisters is with her or her grandmother nightcloud. Nightcloud has always been a source of self confidence for her and they love each very much.

Brindlewing also inherited crowfeather’s family long tail that skipped breezepelt. Brindlewing holds the tail in her mouth as a means of helping her anxiety.

Bristlefrost

a biG design overhaul for my bristlefrost design, i really didnt like the old design i made her. wanted her to be a lil darker colored and in general have a cuter design

i gave her diff color eyes to mark her double agent status one eye green like her fathers and the other sharing the same blue i use for ashfur’s eye color

i kept her with the one white paw which i give to any descendent of jake, just because canonically she is ivy and ferns kid.

but in my rewrite their not togeather. Fernsong was a kittypet or a loner who had lost their mate and home and was found by ivypool caring for his three kittens alone. this is more fernsong headcanon, but bristlefrost is there

bristle and all the kits love ivypool they look up to her big time and all wished she was their mentor when they became apprentices. 

bristlefrost often confides in her father when feeling guilty or unsure of herself and he is always there for her

Bristlekit

half brother to tallstar

i imagine woolytail’s family seems to have a high mortality rate with their kids with only one maybe two usually making it to adulthood. bristlekit would die before becoming an apprentice and spent time in starclan with finchkit and later rabbitkit waiting for wrenflight and tallstar.

if bristlekit made it to being a warrior id like to think he was named Bristlefeather or Bristlefoot

Brook where small fish swim

teeny update to my brook design to give her small white fish dots matching her brothers spots

her general design is mean to be loosely based on a mountain lion. 

she got strong powerful mountain climbing body

i also wish her romance was better developed and wasnt like based in a lot of white savior romance plots given to native and native coded characters

in general the tribe really shoulda just been written better

Brownpaw

brownpaw, brother to littlecloud killed mosspaw as a kit on accident and was apprenticed for it by brokenstar

i imagine him and his brother wetfoot killing mosspaw effect them both deeply. for wetfoot it shook him to the core and made his doubt his own claws

for brownpaw it set him down the path of destruction. brokenstar rewarding him for what happened with mosspaw was the biggest enabler

brownpaw would go on to be a blood thirsty apprentice who would throw his young life away under brokenstars order of attack.

had he been made a warrior i think brokenstar woulda named him Brownmoss claiming he had earned the name when he took it from mosspaw.

Bug

design for bug because i think the book she was in didnt exist when i originally started drawing every warrior cat

love her!

bumblestripe

bumblestripe’s character makes me sad

im SUCH a millie stan and for one of her kids to be disabled then treated like garbage to the end of her life and written super ablest and then her other two kids are total shit heads? makes me sad

i wish at lEAST millie and graystripe had a second little, maybe just one total sweetheart

and its been forever since i read the books. but i remember bumblestripe being a real nobody characters just very generic personality until romance plot for dovewing came into play. and now he super sucks!

i wish he coulda just been a good character who loved dovewing, is sad and kinda jealous of her feelings for tigerheart but in the end respects her decisions and even admires her courage to follow her heart even if it led her over the borders.

Buster/Rippletail

slight buster redesign to fit more in the circus clown look from when he was in the kin

also design note, he’s got an orange themed design to go along with his rainbow themed siblings

Buzzardkit

windclan kit who showed up once in the sight crying and being comforted by a queen

mm i think some good warrior names for them woulda been like

buzzardface, Buzzardshriek or buzzardwhistle

[lovelivingmydreams]

A story by heroes and villains

Janus Anker: identity

To be a teenager is to learn more about yourself. But does it have to be all at once?

Please leave a comment on this one? I usually don't ask but I would really like feedback on this one.

Masterpost

Summer before freshmen year, Janus was a wreck.

He always kind of hated the way he looked. But lately there were days where he didn’t even like to look at the normal half of his body. When nothing in his closet felt comfortable. The first day of summer, he went over to the neighbor’s house to hang out with Virgil. He was having a bad day and needed his friend. “Janus. Good to see you my boy,” Virgil’s dad greeted as he opened the door. Janus forced a smile. “Hi uncle Lo. Is Virgil up yet?” he asked. “He’s in his room. You know the way,” uncle Logan told him kindly. Janus nodded and rushed up the stairs. He opened the door to Virgil’s bedroom and froze. Virgil was standing in front of his mirror a pen in his hand and his hoodie and t-shirt on the bed. He looked up and smiled at him. Why was his hair purple? And since when did he do his eyeshadow so immaculate? Did he paint his nails purple too? Was that lipstick? And why was there an intricate pattern running up his arm, over his shoulder and fading out at his chest? “What do you think? Looks pretty sick right?” he asked as he showed off his work. Janus wasn’t sure which part of Virgil’s drastically changed appearance he meant. But it looked very… very… God he could not be having a gay panic right now. Not with Virgil. He’d never had a crush before! He never cared for any of the girls in class. Not in the way Virgil sometimes expressed interest in them. Like Anna from their class. Virgil had had a small crush on her at the start of last year. Out of curiosity Janus had asked what it was like. To see if maybe he was crushing on someone without realizing it. Sadly Virgil’s explanation hadn’t brought an epiphany. Which made this even more confusing. If he was simply gay and crushing on Virgil this whole time, then he should have realized it then right? He’d known him all his life! He didn’t feel like this last week though. He forced himself to drop that train of thought. He wasn’t here for any of this. “Yeah. Looks good. Though I doubt uncle Lo will let you actually get a tattoo. Ever,” he said, trying to play it cool. Virgil chuckled and nodded as he tossed the pen on his desk and put on his shirt and hoodie. The latter was new. Black with purple patches. It looked hand made. In a good way. Janus couldn’t focus on it though. He was still reeling from the unexpected rush of feelings that had just been dumped on him.

Maybe it was just because Virgil had looked so different? Some sort of shock? That must be it. Right? Anyway it was mostly over now and he was back to feeling wrong in his own skin. “I know, but I wanted to try it out anyway. I’ll wash it off later. After I take a picture.” Virgil then studied Janus’ face. “One of those days?” he guessed. Janus nodded. He’d never been able to express to Virgil how it felt exactly. But his friend managed to make him feel better anyway. He’d help him relax by messing around with his hair or helping him pick something nice to wear. Or some general self-care stuff. “I’ve got just the thing. Sit down I’ll be right back.” Janus proceeded to throw himself face first on Virgil’s bed, doing his best not to think back to the fake tattoo he had drawn. Or not the part where it made him feel things anyway. Virgil was good at art. Good enough to make others envious, or make people try and get something from him. Janus felt his stomach twist in knots at the mere thought of it. Virgil was too kind to deny anyone if they’d ask. It would be very hard to keep him safe in high school though, when they weren’t guaranteed to be together for every class. Janus had been thinking a lot about ways he could protect them from bullies and fake friends. The best he could come up with was seem scarier and stick together. The coward was going to scare off the bullies. Janus was very aware of how ridiculous that sounded. He was going to try though. And then there was still the matter of Roman Castile. That pompous brat never stopped trying to get Virgil to trust him and steal him away. Janus still couldn’t figure out why he went through so much effort. Was it because he didn’t get told ‘no’ often? Was Virgil a challenge? Roman couldn’t possibly really know or appreciate the kind of person Virgil was. So what was the plan? “Get up. I can’t work my magic if you hide away like that,” Virgil instructed as he entered the room once again dropping something on the bed. Janus sighed and sat up. “Give me your hand. We’re doing make overs,” Virgil instructed as he got on the bed with him. Janus was about to protest, but Virgil had that look. There was no arguing. “Fine,” he sighed. Virgil took his hand and started doing his nails with a golden polish. “I bought this one for detailing,” he explained. Janus looked at Virgil’s hand and saw there were little stars in the purple polish. He couldn’t help a smile. It looked pretty. Virgil had started using make up the last few months. Just some dark smudges under his eyes and black polish on his nails to look extra edgy. Maybe the new look held the same intention? A high school upgrade? With a little detail to hint at a softer nature for those who looked close. “You’re in the mood for makeovers today,” he observed. Virgil chuckled. “I suppose,” he nodded as he blew over Janus’ nails, finishing of his right hand. “Next,” he instructed. Janus gave him his left hand, holding his right up so nothing could mess up the still wet paint. “What’s with all the shades of purple anyway?” he asked. “Just felt right,” Virgil muttered casually as he finished off Janus’ other hand. “There,” he stated satisfied as he let go. Janus shook both hands for a bit trying to get them dry. “We’ll find the look that feels right for you too. Just you wait,” Virgil assured him as he dug through the bag Janus had heard him put down earlier. “What are you planning?” he asked. “Relax, I’m not going to make you go home with a face full of make-up. We’re just trying something different okay?” Virgil assured him. Janus let out a sigh and nodded. He trusted him. “I wouldn’t go for a dark lipstick for you. It looks cool but it’s… Not something even I would want for an everyday look. And the goal is making you feel good not shock you,” he joked. Janus’ eyes fell to Virgil’s lips as he mentioned lipstick. The dark color made every movement stand out even more. They looked very kissable. And that brought Janus mind to a screeching halt. The image of kissing his best friend made him feel all sorts of ways. But not quite the way Virgil once described. He felt nervous and excited, and flustered. But not… Not love. He didn’t think of sweet nothings and dates and holding hands. Or he did, because part of him wanted to run those down to figure out if this was a crush. But none of that fit how he felt about Virgil. The thought of it was just weird to him. Virgil was movie nights and stupid jokes and teasing. But also kissing. Apparently. Suddenly he was yanked out of his thoughts by Virgil carefully taking hold of his face. For a second he thought Virgil’s mind had gone to the same place his had. But when his eyes shot up to V’s they were just amused. “Relax. And stop biting your lip. I haven’t even done anything and you’re already trying to ruin my masterpiece.” “Sorry,” Janus muttered. Relieved that Virgil had no clue what just happened. What was wrong with him? “It’s fine,” Virgil assured him as he started applying whatever color he’d decided on to Janus’ lips. It did not help with his crisis. And it was just a stellar crisis to have when the object of your attraction was literally holding your face and had his lips a breath away from yours. “There. Now, I’m going to need you to trust me for a sec here,” Virgil warned ominously. Clearly having fun. Janus couldn’t help a chuckle. Now that Virgil wasn’t so close anymore the attraction subsided to a not all consuming level and he could kind of enjoy the fact that Virgil was trying to make him feel like a movie star or whatever he was going for here. “Do I have a choice in the matter?” he asked dryly. Virgil chuckled. Janus thought back to how Virgil had said that Anna’s laugh made his heart skip, back when he liked her. But while the sound made Janus feel comfortable and happy, his heart did nothing special. He was just happy and relaxed because the sound was familiar and safe. “You have a point,” Virgil agreed. “Close your eyes for me.” Janus did as he was told. Virgil’s hand was on his face once more and he could feel his breath drift over him. The fact that he couldn’t see a thing as a brush drifted over his eyelids only intensified the new feelings. “Did you know the principle of our high school is childhood friends with uncle Thomas?” ‘Uncle’ Thomas was an old school friend of Uncle Logan. Janus had met him a few times over the years. He was a nice guy. If a bit high energy. “Really?” he asked a little surprised. “Yeah. Joan Stokes. They use they/them pronouns. According to uncle Thomas.” Janus couldn’t help the confused frown. “What do you mean?” he asked. “They’re non binary. They don’t identify as a man or a woman. Like they were born in a male body, but their gender is not male or female.” “People can do that?” Janus asked. “Just decide they aren’t what they are?” “That’s not it. Uncle Thomas says that Mx. Stokes… Mx. Is the neutral version of Mr. or Mrs. by the way… Anyway he said that they are their authentic selves. They were always non binary. They just didn’t know it until they were in their teens or something. I looked it up. There are people who are born in a male body but discover they are female later in life. Like. It’s proven that their brains even work more like that of a female. And the other way around can happen too. So why wouldn’t there be people who are in between?” Janus tried to wrap his head around it. Being a man but not being a man… or a woman. “So is… are they…? Did I say that right?” It felt kind of weird. He’d never heard of this until now. “That was exactly right.” Janus could swear he heard some pride in Virgil’s voice. “Okay, so are they both or neither?” he asked. Virgil’s hand stilled. “You know… I didn’t ask. Hm… I suppose… Maybe it depends on your perspective?” he mused as he continued working. “Look up for a bit please,” Virgil muttered. Janus opened his eyes and felt Virgil start applying some eye liner. “I don’t have mascara, so I’m almost done,” he told him. Janus felt relieved. He was enjoying this, truly. And he was curious to find out how he looked. But he also needed some distance between himself and Virgil. And maybe some time to try to look up what all of these feelings were about. Because he wanted to know what this thing was that threatened his friendship with Virgil. Was this a crush? If it was, then why didn’t he feel any of the stuff he was supposed to feel. Except for a very dumb and dangerous wish to kiss his best friend. “And done! Turn around I’m going to fix your hair a bit.” Janus sighed and turned to face the window. He’d let his hair grow the past few years. It came past his shoulders now and he liked the way it looked. He usually wore it up to the side. But Virgil liked to play around with it sometimes. And Janus secretly liked it when he did. “Okay so I’m not going too wild here. I’m keeping it simple,” Virgil assured him as he started brushing Janus’ hair. Janus hummed in acknowledgement, already lost in the feeling of the brush. This was relaxing. And over much too soon. “Done!” Virgil announced as he hopped off the bed. Suddenly Janus was dragged in front of the mirror. “Well, you look hot, if I do say so myself.” Janus was so shocked that he barely registered the complement. He looked… The person in the mirror was… That was him… If he forgot about his clothes for a minute and just looked at his face. The feeling of wrongness was gone. In it’s place was a strange sort of euphoria. “Is this a good speechless or a bad speechless?” Virgil wondered. Janus was pulled away from marveling at how Virgil had managed to go for a natural look in spite of his birthmarks making it harder to pick a color that looked good on both sides. He wanted to hug him. Thank him for making him look beautiful. He'd never appreciated the shape of his eyes until Virgil made them stand out. His lips looked elegant and full. And now it was down, Jan's hair framed his face so nicely. Virgil was amazing. But when he looked at him, the euphoria subsided. Slowly replaced by dread. He looked like a girl. He realized. If he switched out his clothes a little, he could easily be mistaken for a girl… and he liked looking like this. This was too much. Did Virgil know that this would happen? Was that the point of bringing up pronouns? Was this a test? He couldn’t let him know. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t even know what there was to know. He needed time. “You are getting way to good at this. I almost didn't realize it was me,” he said while he was trying to find an excuse to get the make-up of and go home. Virgil smiled. “I'll take that as a complement. It looks good on you. Thanks for letting me try it out,” he offered as he went back to his bag. “I’ve got some sponges to clean up. Dad wouldn't care, but I get it if you don't feel like explaining that we're just messing around.” Janus relaxed a little at that. Virgil didn’t know. Good. He accepted the sponge and with a heavy heart went to the bathroom to clean up. He left his hair down though, finding a little comfort in that. He also left his nails as they were. When he got back Virgil was sitting cross legged on the bed sketching. He looked up and smiled. Janus smiled back and let himself drop in his usual spot. He probably should go. But if he hurried home now, it would be even more suspicious. And as long as they didn’t get too close again, he could ignore at least half of his crisis. “Hey, I’m probably not going to use the lipstick or most of the eyeshadow anymore. You think your mom can use it?” Virgil wondered absentmindedly after a few minutes of comfortable silence. Janus shrugged. “I'll ask her. You sure? Isn't make-up very expensive?” “It’s all either sale or stuff Uncle Thomas gave to me. One of his friends is a make-up artist who gets stuff like that all the time for free. and I wanted to experiment,” Virgil explained casually. “But like I said I’m not a lipstick kind of emo and other than black, purple and maybe blue I don't think I’ll use any of the eyeshadow.” Janus nodded. “Sure.” He didn’t mention that he might make his own selection first. To test out if it was just novelty that made him feel good, or if he was really… a she. Virgil put the sketchbook aside and got out of bed digging through the bag. He put a bunch of stuff on his desk before coming back and handing the bag over. “I’ll need the bag back though. Have her select what she likes and do with the rest whatever you want.” Janus nodded as he accepted the bag. They listened to music for a while, Virgil sketching absentmindedly. “Is being with a man who’s actually a woman gay?” Janus wondered out loud all of a sudden. Virgil looked up. “Does it matter?” he asked. “I mean… A little?” Janus didn’t know how to explain where the question came from. He knew. But he couldn’t say without giving himself away… herself? No. He was not ready to try out the pronoun. Not even in his mind. “Well… I don’t know… Do you mean someone who’s born male but identifies as female?” Janus nodded. “And we’re talking about us as guys right?” Janus nodded again. “Then. If they identify as female, it’s not gay I suppose. They’re a woman. At least that’s what I got from what I looked up. I didn’t do a whole indebt study.” Janus hummed absentmindedly. “I don’t know if I could make out with someone who’s like that,” he admitted. He didn’t mean to sound insensitive. He might be ‘someone like that’ himself. It just felt all so complicated and confusing right now. He didn’t know what to think. He wouldn’t know for sure until he was put in that position. He thought back to the past few years and his failed attempts at trying to feel interested in girls the way Virgil was. He thought he was just picky. That he needed to be really into someone to even consider putting his mouth on theirs. And the argument could be made that this was true for Virgil too. But he only liked him as a friend. Not as someone he wanted to start a family with. Though he could imagine them jokingly making a pact to settle with each other if they were still single when they turned 30 or something like that. Could people just want to kiss someone without being in love? They did that right? One night stands and all that stuff happened all the time. If they could not be a guy or a girl, or be the opposite of what they were born as. Or seemed to be born as at first glance. His head was spinning. He had too much to think about. “Well, I don’t think I’d care. If I like them, and they’re cute. Then I’d be down I think…” Once again Janus hummed vaguely. It was a bit of a relief. One less thing to worry about for him. They sat in silence after that, listening to music. Virgil sketching, Janus trying to compile a plan. When Virgil was called in for lunch Janus left for his house. He had made a decision. He had lunch with his dad, his mom was at work and his dad had to go present a project. Which meant that by some miracle, Janus would have the house to himself. A rare occurrence. Normally he’d invite Virgil over. But this time, he needed some time for himself. He took the make-up bag up and then dug through his mother’s closet. He took out a skirt and a shirt that sat loose so he wouldn’t ruin them. He wasn’t going to take risks with her shoes. He’d have to make due. Once in his room he searched the bag for the right colors. They’d been shades of yellow and brown, he recalled. He saw that Virgil had kept the eyeliner, which made sense. Virgil wore it almost daily. It was fine. This was just an experiment anyway. He wasn’t as good as Virgil. He figured out that he had used slightly different shades, or blended or something on either eye to make up for the different skin tones. He didn’t get it exactly right but close enough. He’d borrowed his mother’s mascara and prayed he was putting it on right. He put on a shade of lipstick that looked close enough to the one Virgil used, wishing he’d paid more attention to what he said rather than panic about how much he wanted to kiss him in that moment. In any case he was done with his make-up. It wasn’t until he was about to put on his mother’s shirt that he realized he probably should have started with the clothes and ended with the hair and make-up. Live and learn. Very carefully, he put on the shirt and then the skirt. He closed his eyes as he stepped in front of the full length mirror glued to his closet door. He took a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s just… try,” he whispered to himself. He opened his eyes… She looked great. Virgil had done a better job, but still. The outfit was… It helped. Janus felt a giddy laugh escape. She played with her hair and held out her hand as if she was greeting someone. “Hi,” she said, making her voice higher. “I’m… Janice. Nice to meet you.” Janice. Familiar but more fitting. Her heart was racing, her stomach in knots. Now this was closer to what Virgil described as falling in love. She was just so happy to meet herself. The pronoun felt much less scary in the privacy of her own room. She was going to have to do more research. Why was she only starting to feel this way now? What was that thing with Virgil earlier? Why did she only feel bad about her body on some days and others she was completely fine with being Janus. Was that normal? But for this moment she let herself be happy. Everything else could wait just a bit longer. The rest of summer, Janus did every chore they could. Their parents and uncle Lo had implemented a system that allowed Virgil and Janus to raise their allowance if they did chores. It was meant to teach them that a good work ethic got rewarded or something along those lines, Janus was sure. But all they cared about was that they’d be able to buy themself some make up and an outfit to wear when they needed it. They were still a mess. The good news was, they now knew why. They were gay. That much was clear. Or well they were exclusively into men. But after talking in some online chat groups, they��d figured out that they weren’t a trans woman, as they’d initially thought. They were, in fact, gender fluid. Some days, he was just Janus. Other days she was more comfortable as Janice. They were okay with they/them on any given day. That is, they’d figured that out in their head. But they weren’t out to anyone yet. They were terrified of telling any adult in their life. Even if they were fairly sure that Uncle Lo, at the very least, was fine with the whole gender thing. But still. They wanted to tell Virgil so badly. But… There was one more thing they’d figured out  that they weren’t ready to share. They were aromantic. Or at least on that spectrum. So… They did and didn’t have a crush on Virgil. There was definitely, attraction they felt for the boy now sitting next to them in the car, singing loudly with them to the songs of one of their favorite bands as they were headed off for a weekend in New York for a P!ATD concert. They were having fun. It was a Janus day, so they felt okay when Uncle Lo and Virgil used male pronouns and stuff like that. Virgil grinned at him. “You better be prepared, I’m going to make you fit in with the crowd tomorrow,” he promised. Janus rolled their eyes and laughed. Setting in the next song with him. About an hour later they got to their hotel. “We have two adjacent rooms. I trust you boys can be responsible enough to be left to your own devices after dinner?” Uncle Lo asked sternly. Virgil and Janus exchanged a glance. “You can trust that we won’t do anything that could make you decide to go back home tomorrow. Making us miss the concert.” Janus assured his honorary uncle, who chuckled. “Well, I suppose that is very sound reasoning. I’ll let you two unpack. We’ll have dinner in the hotel restaurant in an hour,” he reminded them. “Okay, dad,” Virgil grinned as he opened the door to their room and they brought in their luggage. Virgil dropped his as soon as he closed the door. He took a running start and flopped on the bed. Or beds. It was a two bed room, but the beds were pushed together. “This bed is awesome! You have to try this Jan!” Virgil’s tendency to shorten Janus’ name was actually a blessing on their feminine days. Janus smirked and dropped his bags too and dove onto the bed next to Virgil. Oh, they were soft and comfortable. “It’s going to be a pain pushing them apart,” they muttered. “Eh, worries for later,” Virgil said dismissively as he folded his arms behind his head and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m glad we get to do this. It feels like forever since we’ve just hung out you know?” Janus felt a little bad. They’d been very tense lately, which had put a damper on every time they’d visited Virgil or invited him over. They hoped things would get better soon. Once they got over their attraction, they could tell him everything. And then they could get back to normal. They just… Most of the time they were fine. But there were moments when Janus had a gay panic around Virgil and his instinctive reaction was to push away. Which obviously confused Virgil. And rightfully so. Rationally they knew that if they explained themselves, Virgil would understand he didn’t do anything wrong here and everything would be fine again. But they were afraid he’d be weirded out by it. He might be okay with their pronouns bouncing around the way they did. He might be okay with him being attracted to guys. And maybe even with him being aromatic… But him being attracted to him might be too much. “Yeah… Sorry. I’m just…” Janus tried to figure out how to explain some of what he’s going through. Virgil was his best friend. He should tell him. “Hey, I get it. High School has me pretty stressed out too. But even if we don’t have all classes together, there’s lunch, and we’ll see each other outside of school hours to. I mean, we live next to each other. There’s no getting rid of me.” He turned his head and smirked at Janus at the last part. Janus smiled a little. Feeling a little better knowing that Virgil had no intentions of leaving him behind. He never had turned away from him just because some other kids told him he could hang out with them. People had even stopped trying to separate them. With one annoying exception. But he wasn’t going to give that guy the satisfaction of taking up space in their summer. They stared at the ceiling for a while, just talking no sign of any awkwardness. They made it through a fun dinner and when they got back to the room they played a game of truth or dare. It was harmless stuff. Just acting silly and nothing too challenging. Until… “Janus, truth or dare?” Virgil chuckled as he sat down after dancing to ‘barbie girl’. “Dare,” Janus replied carelessly. “Okay… I dare you to…” Virgil bit his lip and played with his sleeve as he thought about a good challenge. Janus knew that these were nervous habits of his but they couldn’t dwell on it very much as suddenly Virgil smirked and leaned in. “I dare you to kiss me.” It was a joke. Very clearly he only meant to take Janus by surprise and tease them about their reaction. But Janus was tempted. He could do it. Kiss him like he’d wanted to and Virgil couldn’t be mad because he’d literally told him to do it. It was the only rule they had for this game. Don’t dare anyone to do something if you are not prepared for them to actually follow through. Because they could be competitive enough to do very dumb stuff just to prove a point. So… If he kissed him now, he could maybe finally get the thought out of their head. And try to gage Virgil’s reaction to see if he was ready for them to come out. They’d hesitated too long though. Virgil was falling back and chuckling. “Relax I was just joking. Besides I never specified where you had to kiss me or anything. No need to stress out about it. Though…” Virgil looked up at him with a thoughtful expression. “You’re pretty cute. I wouldn’t hate kissing you I suppose,” he smirked, making heat flood Janus’ body. He wouldn’t? “You know, if I had to,” he added as he stuck out his tongue. Janus felt his embarrassment turn into annoyance. Virgil had gotten into the habit of complementing him like that. Wrapped up in casual teasing. He couldn’t know that it got Janus’ hopes up and Janus knew that getting upset at him would only hurt them both. But he often found himself powerless to stop it. He tossed Virgil a pillow. “You’re impossible,” he huffed. Hoping Virgil wouldn’t spot the frustration in his tone. Which of course he did. “J?” he asked gently as he got up. Laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. Janus just curled in on himself, too embarrassed to face him. “Hey, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn’t mean anything with it okay?” Virgil assured him. “It’s just… I know you are kind of hung up on your skin sometimes… And you know I am terrible at expressing myself… All I wanted to do was like… Let you know I think you look cool and stuff. I know that it probably means nothing coming from me…” God, they were a terrible person. Virgil was trying his best to help them, to lighten the mood that plagued them even though they never let him in on what they were thinking. “You’re wrong,” they muttered into their knees. “It means a lot. It really does… I’m just being an ass hat,” they admitted. Virgil chuckled, their reply enough to let him relax it seemed. “Yeah, but I love ya anyway,” he assured them. There was a pause. “It’s getting late we should split the beds and get some sleep. Big day tomorrow,” Virgil noted. Janus uncurled themselves and nodded. They got up and each pulled one of the beds to the side. They dug through their suitcases for their PJs and Janus worried about whether it would be weird to go to the bathroom to get changed. In the past they just got dressed in front of one another when they stayed over. But that was all before… Before Janus could even finish their thoughts Virgil was heading to the bathroom. They relaxed, not even stopping to wonder why Virgil was suddenly shy about getting dressed in the same room as them. They just got dressed and in bed. They looked up when Virgil got back in the room. “Night J,” he bid as he turned off the lights. “Night V,” Janus replied. It took them a while to get to sleep. Try as they might they couldn’t keep themselves from imagining what it could’ve been like if they hadn’t hesitated. Those thoughts quickly turned to despair though. Virgil had never once expressed attraction to one of their male classmates. Not to mention that despite his whole broody aesthetic, their friend definitely wanted a romantic relationship. Their dreams were plagued with the fear of being found out and rejected. When they woke up Virgil was grinning down at them. Dressed and ready for the day. “Get up sleepy head. Time to get dressed. Breakfast is in one hour,” he informed them as he tossed them color shampoo. Right. They were going to be turned into a real emo kid for the concert today. Janus groaned and got up. Since when was Virgil a morning person? He was usually the last to fully wake up. He must be really looking forward to today. When they got into the bathroom they finally woke up enough to realize that not sleeping well wasn’t the only thing that had them feeling like crap. It was a Janice day. They let out a sigh and were grateful that they packed something they were comfortable in no matter how they felt for the concert. After their shower, they wrapped their hair up in a towel and pulled on the skinny jeans and the baggy band shirt Virgil gave them when he told them they were going to the concert. Apparently it being a few sizes to large added to the look. To Janice, it kind of felt as close as they dared to get to wearing a dress in public. “J? You done yet? Come on! I want to make you pretty!” Virgil’s teasing voice came through the door. Janice wished they could let their friend know how much they appreciated his make overs. “Yeah, I’m ready,” they replied, trying to sound slightly reluctant. Virgil got in with a grin, dragging a chair from the room along with him. He sat Janice down and dashed out of the room to get his make-up bag. When he returned his grin had not faded even a little. He immediately got to work. “You want to wear your hair down or up today?” he asked as he took out a hairdryer and started drying their hair for them. “Down,” Janice replied. Always down on Janice days. Virgil nodded. “Okay. I’m going to pull it out of the way for a bit though,” he informed them as he turned off the hairdryer and tied their hair together on the top of their head. “Close your eyes. It’s going to be a surprise,” he told them. Janice took a deep breath and relaxed as they closed their eyes. They felt Virgil apply something to their face with a sponge. Then a soft brush applied something powdery. Then he made quick work of their eyes and lips. “Okay. It should be warmed up now,” they heard Virgil murmur as he let down their hair again. Before they could ask they felt Virgil start to brush their hair. Pulling up locks and holding something warm against their scalp, moving upwards slowly. Wait was he… Straightening their hair? “Okay…” Virgil mused as he readjusted their shirt. “You can look.” Janice could hear the pride in Virgil’s voice. Clearly he was satisfied with the result. They opened their eyes and felt their mouth drop in awe. “Tragically beautiful I’d say,” Virgil smirked. Their birthmarks… They were gone. Or hidden at least. “What do you think?” Virgil pressed, sounding a little nervous. “It looks great,” they agreed. The waves were out of their hair and the black color actually looked pretty good. Their eyes and lips were accented with dark make-up. They looked good. A little sad but… Also cute? Virgil had rearranged their shirt. Janice had tried to center it, but Virgil had made it so that one of their shoulders was bare. They had never felt this good about how they looked on a Janice day while there were others around. “Awesome. Give me a minute to fix myself and then we’ll head to breakfast,” Virgil told them, clearly relieved that they liked their look. Uncle Lo was okay with Janice’s make over as soon as Virgil assured him that the color wouldn’t stick. And even that was probably only because he didn’t want Janice’s parents to get upset about it. They spent the day sightseeing. Janice got addressed as ‘miss’ at a few stores and while he and Virgil chuckled about it, in secret Janice was very happy with those instances. The concert itself was amazing. For a little bit they could pretend that they didn’t have massive secrets and that things would be okay.

everything to lose

@moonlightshow00​ @naturallyunstablegamer​ @alias290​ @meowthefluffy​ @frida0043​ @angelic-cali​ @selenechris​ @theblackveilinreverse​ @cirishere​ @hestianerd1​

[theheartsmistakes]

The Last Night: Part VII

Author’s Notes at the end... but if you’re just joining us:

Here is Part I

Here is Part II

Here is Part III

Here is Part IV

Here is Part V

Here is Part VI

At some point, she wasn’t sure when, Cordelia had laid down on the hard tempered ground. She stared up at the smoke colored sky and watched the clouds above her dance and swirl in airy shapes. The wound on her side had stopped hurting; all that was left was a dull ache, and a burning underneath her skin. She didn’t need to look down at her arms to see the black veins that crawled underneath her now ashen, skin. Her breathing had become labored, shallow, and her chest stretched as it tried to take its fill of the putrid air.

There was still so much she needed to say. There was so much she wanted to do.

“There’s time for that.” Her mother would say to her. “Stop being in such a rush. There is time for all that.”

It seemed she was running out of time.

The once hot hair now left her feeling cold. Her eyelids felt heavy. All she wanted was to close them, just for a moment, but she forced herself to keep them open.

Tragic.

She contemplated the word. Imagined it would be thrown around at her funeral— if she was to have one. If Belial was defeated and they managed to recover her body from this place, the word tragic would define the end of her life, as it did for so many Shadowhunters before her, all lives lost too early.

But that would not be what would make her death tragic. It would be because she died the same way she lived… alone.

The thought made her cry out and her hands gripped the sand that scratched beneath her skin.

It’s this place, she thought. It turns even your inner thoughts dark and dreadful.

She chased after images of people and things that she loved but even those left her feeling hollow and alone.

Then a memory came to her mind.

It was nothing grand or spectacular, a small moment actually. It was a week after she’d become engaged to James. Her mother had been dragging her to appointment after appointment claiming it would be ‘the wedding of the century’. The binding of a Herondale and a Carstairs. She’d grown weary and sick of dress appointments, cake shops, flowers, table clothes, and just craved some semblance of normal. She wanted to take Cortana in her hands, feel the bite of the metaled handle, hear the slight whistle as the blade arched through the air and slice the heads off the perfectly assorted flower arrangements in one clean sweep.

Most appointments, Cordelia had Lucie to keep her company, making the day a bit more bearable. But when Lucie had a previous engagement that she refused to tell Cordelia about James offered to come along to keep Cordelia company. 

He came to stand beside her in the center of an ostentatious ballroom that had a hand painted mural on the ceiling. Cordelia had her head all the way back staring at the image of Jonathon Shadowhunter, with great enormous white wings spread out from his back, charging after a group of mangy looking demon dogs. Their mothers were bent over a catalogue, conversing over decorations for the reception when she felt his shoulder brush against hers.

He leaned into her and his hair brushed her cheek. “Do you like ice cream?”

Thinking it was a joke, she laughed, but when she turned to look at him, his eyes blazed with mischief.

“Mother doesn’t allow me to have ice cream,” she said, and looked back up at the mural. “She says it will go right to my hips and rot my teeth.”

“Give me your shoes,” he said, suddenly urgent.

“What?”

He pressed his hand over her mouth and glanced at their mother’s. Tessa was leading Sona into the hall and went on about lining the floor in imported silks to cover the scuff marks in the wood.

“Give me your shoes,” he repeated. “They’ll make too much noise.”

A rush of excitement went through Cordelia as she reached down and slid her feet out of her pale pink heels and handed them to James.

He cradled them in-between his arm and his side and motioned for her to follow him.

“What are we doing?” She whispered once out of the hallway.

He grinned down at her; she felt her cheeks redden, as he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door.

Once out on the busy London street, he handed her back her shoes, and offered her his arm to hold while she slid them back on. He nodded at nosy pedestrians that looked at Cordelia curiously.

When she was situated, he grabbed her hand again and he was pulling her down the street. He weaved deftly around people, leapt over a dog on a leash, and skirted past solicitors while Cordelia muttered their apologies.

When he stopped, she nearly slammed into him. His cheeks were flushed, his crown of black hair curled away from his face, and a cheeky grin lifted one corner of his perfect mouth. She couldn’t remember a time when he looked more beautiful to her.

The smell of the shop was the first thing she noticed. A heavenly aroma of vanilla, spun sugar, chocolate, and creme. Her mouth instantly watered and her stomach groaned.

“I saw it on the carriage ride over.” He glanced over at her. “Do we dare?”

She was stalled by a moment of guilt.

He hopped up on the first step leading towards the glass door and noticed that she hadn’t followed.

His eyes narrowed slightly. “What’s wrong?”

“I really shouldn’t.” She groaned as the door opened again and a girl with blonde braids down her shoulders walked out with a cone dripping with the sweet dessert. Her mouth watered, betraying her.

“Come on, Daisy.” James stepped back down so he was right in front of her. His mouth curved into a vexatious grin that left her warm and breathless. “Unless you prefer we go back to our mothers and talk about seating arrangements.”

She grabbed his hand this time and led him up the stairs to the door.

After they chose their ice cream, James picked a raspberry swirl in a cone and Cordelia chose chocolate, they walked across the bustling street to the small lake with a trail around it and settled into a leisurely stroll beside one another.

He ate his ice cream quickly and poked fun at her for eating hers slow when it dripped down her fingers. She taught him words in her native tongue and fought back laughter when he butchered the pronunciation. He told her stories about The Merry Thieves, and Lucie, and his parents. There was only one strange encounter with a duck where he switched to walk on the other side of her, so she was closest to the creature, and then switched back as if nothing had happened.

When she’d lost count of how many times they’d circled the pond, they stopped at a vacant bench underneath a tilting willow tree with branches that swayed and grazed the ground below it. 

“Thank you for rescuing me,” she said and leaned to press a kiss to his cheek, but he’d moved his head slightly so her lips grazed the corner of his mouth instead.

Horrified, she’d begun to make her apologies, when he brushed a curl that had fallen into her face and secured it behind her ear, letting his fingers graze the shell of her ear before he cupped her jaw in his hand. “My Daisy, you require no one’s rescuing."

A lifetime of this, she thought painfully. I want a lifetime of this.

“James?” She smiled to herself and the ache in her chest became something different. “James, can you hear me?”

For the longest time, she believed there were two versions of James that existed: hers and the other one. Her James caught her when she fell from carriages, rescued her from public scrutiny, kissed her on top of tables, and made her smile until it felt like her cheeks might pop. The other James abandoned her on dance floors, left her in mid-conversation, and was completely enraptured by someone else.

Would she ever learn who the real James was?

When Grace’s hold on him is finally removed, would his affections change?  

Would it be too late?

“James.”

She waited a moment on bated breath but nothing could be heard except for the sound of the wind rushing through her ears and her own heartbeat failing to pump what limited blood remained through her body.

“Not long now,” said Belial. She’d thought he’d left or perhaps he’d only just returned. He squatted down next to her. The tip of a dagger that hung at his side in a gilded scabbard nudged her thigh. His head loomed over hers blocking out the red sun. “They’re approaching. Soon this will all be over.”

She’d waited long enough for someone to come save her. It was well past time that she saved herself.

Her death would not be tragic.

No. It’d be heroic.

Her hands gripped the sand underneath her and with the last ounce of energy she had left, she flung her handful at his looming face.  

~

James.

The car was tilting heavily to the left as Matthew took a turn at an alarming speed when James heard her voice inside of his head. He straightened himself and leaned forward trying to listen over the sounds of grumblings from the people around him, but nothing else came. He thought for a moment that he smelt vanilla and tasted raspberry on his tongue.

The headache behind his eyes was present, but not getting any worse. He didn’t chance a look at his wrist with Thomas sitting so close beside him and Lucie looming over his shoulder. He thought about putting the bracelet back on, just to stop any damage that might be occurring because of his impulsive decision. But now that he was free of it, the last thing he wanted was to put it back on. In fact, he thought constantly of throwing the bloody thing into the street and being rid of it forever.

His mind felt clear for the first time in a long time. For so long his thoughts had been hazy, unfocus, reverting back to Grace as if they were tied to her name by an invisible string and being flung back to her whenever they would wander too far.

How did he not see it?

How could he not know?

“Can this thing not go any faster?” asked Lucie, who was half on top of a scandalized Christopher in the back seat.

“There are no runes to hide automobiles,” said Matthew jerked the gear shift. “As long as Mundanes can see us, I have to abide by Mundane rules.”

“It’s dark outside.” Anna pointed out. “There is no one out to spot us. Just admit that this piece of rubbish doesn’t go any faster.”

“Thomas, I cannot think of an equally demoralizing response and drive at the same time,” said Matthew over his shoulder. “Please proceed to make Anna cry with your words on my behalf.”

“No.”

James had only just noticed that Thomas knee had not stopped bouncing. His usually calm friend seemed as perturbed as he felt, but for what reason James didn’t know.

“STOP!” Lucie yelled over James’ shoulder.

The tires screeched and James was nearly thrown over the hood of the automobile and out into the street if not for Thomas’ arms outstretched across both he and Matthew. The three occupants in the back hit the first row hard jolting them forward.

A chorus of curses filled the automobile, followed by an explosion of air and steam from the hood of the car.

“Algernon.” Matthew whimpered.

When James looked up, a wall of thick gray fog stood just inches away from the car. He leaned out the door to see the edge of it lapping against the pavement like the shore of a lake but never moving any farther. His eyes followed it up into the sky merging with the clouds that still lingered there.

Lucie jumped from the backseat and ran past James.

He was out of the car in a moment, following after her, as she disappeared into the thick of it without hesitation.

“Lucie!” He stepped in after her. The air crackled around James. His runes sang underneath his skin as if aware of something his mind wasn’t yet aware of. The smell of stale ale, sulfur, and blood clung to his nostrils. “Lucie!”

“James?” He heard her on his left.

“Lucie!” The air clung to his skin, cold yet humid. He waved his hand out in front of his face in an attempt to clear it. “Can you hear me? Come back.”

“James?” He could hear the fear rising in her voice. She sounded farther away than before.

“Stop moving!” He yelled. “Just wait for me where you are. Keep talking.”

He ran in the direction he’d heard her voice, but he couldn’t see even an inch in front of him. It was like swimming with your eyes closed, unsure of which way is up and down.

“James!” Matthew called from behind him. “What’s going on in there?”

“Stay together,” he shouted over his shoulder. “Hold hands or tie yourself to something.”

“What do you see?” Thomas asked.

“Nothing,” said James. “I can’t see anything. Lucie!”

“James!”

It came from behind him now, only feet away. He ran in the direction and thought that he saw a figure taking shape in front of him. He exploded into a run and like a picture behind changed on a projector, he stepped out and was in front of the car again.

Matthew was tying himself to the car with a long rope. Thomas looked restless, muttering something to himself, while Christopher poked his finger in and out of the fog curiously. Anna was the first to see James.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

James' heart rate leapt in his chest as he turned back around to face the fog. “Lucie.” He pushed back in and ran forward in the direction he’d first seen her go in.

“LUCIE!”

No response.

The fog burned his lungs as his breathing quickened. Every muscle in his body felt taut. She couldn’t be gone. She had to be here, somewhere. He’d find her. He had to.

“Lucie, answer me!”

“James!” Her soft clear voice rang from behind him again.

He spun around and ran towards her voice. Not even ten steps and he popped out of the fog again to meet the others.

“No.” He exhaled and dragged his hands through his damp hair. 

A hand clamped down on his shoulder preventing him from taking another step forward.

He spun around to shove whoever it was off, but Matthew stepped away before he could.

“Stop and think for a moment.” Matthew shouted and grabbed James by the shirt. “We’re not going to get anywhere if you keep running in there blind. We need a strategy, a plan!”

“James,” said Anna from the car. “Matthew.”

But James was too busy fighting Matthew off to notice her. “Lucie is in there.”

“I know that!” said Matthew. “I’ve been listening to you call her name for the past ten minutes. Now calm down and think.”

“James!” Anna shouted. “Matthew, look!”

When he turned back around, the fog had begun to clear as if it were being physically sucked away. The street was empty, the cobblestone path glistened with condensation, and lying in the middle of it was a body.

Author’s Notes: Fun fact, ice cream became popular and inexpensive in England in the mid-nineteenth century, when Swiss émigré Carlo Gatti set up the first stand outside Charing Cross station in 1851. He sold scoops in shells for one penny. The fun things you learn when you’re researching things for your fanfiction to insure that you remain historically accurate. I’m on a diet (need to lose some of this quarantine weight) so writing this ice cream scene was really just me wishing I was on a date with my non-existent boyfriend eating ice cream while walking around a lake... I hope you enjoy it. Also, I know that James doesn’t have an affliction with ducks quite like his father does, but I can still see him being hesitant of them, because we all know Will told him horror stories when James was a child. Please hit the like, comment, reblog, and follow along for more updates. I just wish I could hug and smother all of you in love for supporting this fanfiction. I’m having a blast creating it (flaws and all). A million thank you’s to each and every one of you!