#all the batkids are little chos gremlins

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Weekend Getaway

Duke: No school tomorrow. Want to do anything?

Damian: We should go somewhere warm and sunny.

Duke: I was thinking more along the lines of getting pizza or going to the movies but honestly that sounds way better.

Damian: Mm-hmm. We should invite Drake.

Duke:

Duke: Are you sure you’re feeling okay?

Damian, scowling: I’m fine.

Duke: Okay, if you’re sure…

The next day

Duke: This was the best idea.

Damian: I know.

Tim: I still don’t see why you insisted I come.

Duke: It’s the beach, man. We’re in the Caribbean! Why WOULDN’T you want to be here?

Tim: I don’t know, it’s kind of bright…

Damian: So my hypothesis was at least partially correct.

Tim:

Duke: Damian, did you bring Tim as per of a science experiment?

Damian: Tt. I was merely testing his reactions to the sun. The results were rather disappointing, unfortunately. He didn’t even hiss when first exposed to its light.

Duke: And you had to travel a thousand miles to do that?

Tim: Also, I’m not a cat, Damian, what the hell?

Damian: There is not enough sunlight in Gotham to produce proper results. And also, why on earth would I think you were a cat, Drake? You’d make a terrible cat.

Jason: ‘Sup, kiddos. Time for another round of sunscreen. Especially you, Timbo.

Tim, grumbling: Just because the rest of you can be outside for more than ten minutes without turning into a lobster…

Damian: I still don’t see why you had to come with us.

Duke: Because we needed adult supervision and Tim doesn’t count? No offense, Tim.

Tim: None taken. I really shouldn’t.

Everyone: *lost in their memories of why Tim does not count as adult supervision in any way despite being over the legal age of majority*

Jason: You should all be very thankful I’m here.

Damian, scowling: Richard would have been better.

Jason: Ah, but would Dickface let you smuggle swords into a foreign country and help bust a drug ring tomorrow?

Damian:

Damian: Fine, so maybe you were an acceptable choice.

Fifteen minutes later

Tim: This is enough rest and relaxation, right?

Damian: I have enough evidence I suppose.

Duke: Where’d you say that drug ring bust was going to happen again?

Jason: Some docks a few miles east of here. But you listen to me, alright? I mean it.

Damian: *rolls his eyes*

Duke: *laughs*

Tim: Come on, we do this sort of thing every other night.

Jason: You listen to me or when we get back I’m telling Dick you all told me you really want to go to Disney World for an entire week and meet all the characters.

Tim & Damian: *slightly horrified looks*

Duke, squinting: Did you just use Disney World as a threat?