#all them stones and boulders and rocks and shit are too damn much man

[toiletshit]

[sibillascribbles08]

Green

What’s up I rewrote the ending of s10 (Actually it’s all of s10 but I only wrote the ending hope I gave enough context for the rest of it) Have fun

    “Lloyd! Get back in the monastery!” 

    Lloyd risked glancing back at Kai who stood near the huge wooden doors, but not for long. The army kept coming, numbers barely dwindling. Every kind of attack they formulated didn’t do enough to stop them. Their elemental powers, the golden weapons, all of it fell short. Lloyd didn’t know if it was from the sheer power of the oni or their numbers. 

    Though Lloyd did consider the army wasn’t as big as he expected when Mistaké spoke of it in the past, some of the oni could make it look bigger. They had abilities Lloyd didn’t expect. Light to form illusions, smoke, poisons, and so much more. 

    They tried to form their own army, of course, but just look at them now. Master Wu called for a retreat. The walls of the monastery were their last defense. Lloyd knew he needed to join them but his father was still fighting.

    His father, it still almost felt wrong to call him that. No matter his face, the monster never acted like it. 

    Still, Lloyd didn’t have the heart to leave him to fight on his own. 

    Not that he’d admit that.

    “You should go.” Garmadon told him as well. He held a spear he’d stolen from one of the smaller oni–which was still six feet tall. “I can hold them off.” 

    “Hold them off, huh?” Lloyd shouted as he watched three more try and surround his father. He let the energy build in his arms before holding them out. The green light exploded and the oni roared as they stumbled back down the steps. “Yeah, you’re doing a great job.”

    “This isn’t the time to argue, Lloyd.” 

    “This is a perfect time, since we may all end up dead.” He darted back into the frey, despite Kai’s shouting. He kicked one oni in the face before dodging a spray of poison from another. While kneeling on the ground he spun around, leg out, knocking two more on their back. “Why should I trust that you’re going to stay out here to sacrifice yourself? You of all people.”

    Garmadon growled as he snatched up a hammer instead and swung it in a huge arc. It didn’t nail any targets, but it kept the oni back. “You’ve become so distrustful.”

    “And who’s fault is that?” Lloyd screamed, green light erupting from his skin. He landed a hard punch, a knee to a stomach, before letting the energy explode. Any oni nearby went flying. “I trusted Harumi and she betrayed me. She almost let me drown. And then you beat me until I was unconscious.” 

    Lloyd heard something behind him. His elbow snapped out to nail the oni in the ribs before spinning around to hit the same spot with his heel. “I begged you to stop and you didn’t. And now you’re acting like it’s my problem I don’t trust you? Why do you want to do this all of a sudden, huh? Going to bargain with them as soon as I’m gone?”

    Another growl and another swing. “That’s not what’s happening. I simply–” 

    An ear wrenching screech tore across the mountain. Lloyd covered his ears but it did little to make it stop feeling like his head was splitting open. Damn it, their sound powers had to be one of the most frustrating. 

    Still, over all of it he swore he could hear someone shouting his name. No, multiple people. He couldn’t tell who. It was so hard over the ringing in his ears.

    Then something crashed into him. He hit the stone steps, knocking his hands away from his ears. At least now the sound was dying down. He begged the ringing to stop so he could see properly again as he tried to force himself to his feet.

    Why couldn’t he detect any footsteps? Why was the mountain not shaking under the weight of some of the larger oni? He could see them now, but they all stood still, eyes fixed on the same thing. 

        He followed their gaze as his vision became more and more clear, but he still didn’t quite believe what he was seeing. 

    Garmadon stood there, between Lloyd and the army, a spear formed of light in his chest. 

    Horror gripped Lloyd’s chest so tight he couldn’t breath. The fear only got worse when the spear vanished and his father collapsed. 

    “No,” Lloyd could barely get the word out as he scrambled over to him. “No, no. Not again. Not again.” 

    Why was he so scared? Didn’t he just tell himself this couldn’t be his father? And yet all he could think about was all those times in the past he’d lost him. 

    Lloyd tried to reach out to his father, but then he saw the oni advance again. Should he run? Try and fight? 

    Before he could decide a burst of flame rushed over him. The oni hissed and roared, but that soon turned to screams. Lloyd saw the shadow before he saw the giant boulder land in front of him. The stone stairs shattered as the giant rock began to roll down the hill. 

    “Lloyd, come on.” Kai grabbed his arm and jerked him back.

    “No.” Lloyd whispered before he shouted. “No, no!” He reached out to Garmadon and tried to pull himself free.

    “I got it.” Cole ran past them and lifted Garmadon with ease. He tossed the warlord over his shoulder before sprinting back to the gate.

    With his father safe, Lloyd got to his feet and ran with Kai back into the monastery. Nya and Jay slammed the doors shut behind them. 

    “Cole, help us make a barricade.” Zane shouted.

    Cole gently set Garmadon on his back before he ran to help the others. Lloyd knew he should too, but he couldn’t. This time he reached his father’s side.

    He was still alive, if the groaning was any indication, but the wound was certainly bleeding. Taking another glance at Cole, Lloyd could see the purple substance staining his shoulder. 

    “Lloyd?” Garmadon ran a hand over his face, clearly in pain. “What are you doing? Go help the others.”

    “Why did you do that?” Lloyd fired back his own question, ignoring the tears at the corners of his eyes. “Why did you save me?” 

    Garmadon cringed, hand hiding half of his face as his red eyes stared at the sky. “Why does it matter?”

    “Dad, please.” Lloyd took a deep breath before his tears tried to choke him. “Just cut the shit and talk to me.”

    Garmadon actually smiled a bit. “Hey, language. Who taught you to say stuff like that?” 

    Lloyd kept his mouth closed when he screamed, hands tangling into his hair. “Is this really what you want your last words to be?” 

    “Lloyd.” Garmadon’s tone changed. “You try too hard to save people sometimes. You lost that first fight against me because you cared too much about saving me.” 

    “Because I love you.” Lloyd sputtered. “Or I did… I loved the man who loved me.” 

    “But you couldn’t save me.” His father continued. “Because I can’t be, not like this. But after all that, after what happened to Harumi, after seeing the destruction these oni were causing I wondered… maybe I could at least save someone else.” 

    Lloyd blinked and stared at him. 

    “I should at least save you, right? After you tried so hard.” Garmadon turned his head to look at the now well covered gate. Still, despite the blockade the walls still shook as the oni tried to get in. Kai and Jay were up along the walls, keeping any of the taller oni from climbing in. “But maybe it was useless.” 

    His voice was fading. Lloyd shook his hesitation and grabbed his father by the shoulders, tugging him closer. “Does that mean you’re still there? Is my father still in there?”

  �� “I don’t know.” Garmadon whispered. “I doubt I have the time to explain it now.” He kept looking at the gate. “You should let me go and get back into the fight.”

    Lloyd grit his teeth. “No. I won’t. I won’t lose you again. I can’t lose you again.” 

    “I doubt you can lose something that was never there in the first place.” 

    “No.” Lloyd pulled him into a hug. “I won’t give up. Ninja never quit. Dad please.”

    His father began to go limp in his arms. 

    “No. No no no. I can’t lose you again. Not again.” He kept repeating the phrase over and over. Why did this keep happening? Why could he never do anything? Even if he managed to save his father from the Overlord it was all he ever managed. He couldn’t save him from going to the cursed realm. He couldn’t pull him out of it to keep him from drowning with it. And then he couldn’t stop Harumi from bringing him back like this. 

    He was the green ninja. He was supposed to save ninjago. He was the grandson of the very being that created it. 

    Yet he could never manage to save one person. 

    He had to do something this time. He had to. 

    Someone shouted his name again. Lloyd didn’t open his eyes. 

    He wouldn’t quit. He wouldn’t give up. He’d find a way to save his father this time. 

    More shouting. Some of it was so frantic, but it could barely be heard over the humming in his ears. Did the oni break in? 

    Lloyd finally opened his eyes.

    But all he saw was green.

-----------------------------

    Green.

    Lloyd gasped for air when he opened his eyes this time, though he couldn’t remember closing them.

    But he still saw green, at least as something identifiable this time. Grass, as far as he could see, dotted with yellow flowers. The sky above was deep blue, covered in clouds and odd floating rock formations.

    Where was he?

    He heard a light growl and snapped his gaze to the side. An orange dragon stood there, studying him with pale green eyes. Lloyd got to his feet and took a step toward it. The creature didn’t show any signs of aggression, so he continued his approach.

    When close enough he reached out a hand. The dragon gave a light nod, allowing Lloyd to pat it on the nose.

    “Hello, Lloyd.”

    The voice seemed to come from all around him. Lloyd turned, surprised by the sudden light in his vision. A figure walked toward him, though hard to see with all the shadows.

    But Lloyd at least recognized his silhouette. 

    “You…” Lloyd’s voice was still cracking from his crying earlier. “You’re the First Spinjitzu Master.” He found himself kneeling on the grass. 

    “No, no, please, no kneeling.” The man held out a hand. Lloyd took it. “You’ve done so much. If anyone should be kneeling, it should be me.”

    Lloyd couldn’t make much sense of the statement. He tried to study the man’s face but he already continued walking past. “What do you mean I’ve done so much?” 

    “The overlord, the ghosts, the preeminent, and now frightening off an army of oni? It’s quite a feat.” 

    Lloyd frowned and looked around. “Where are we?”

    “This? This is my area of the departed realm.” The man still didn’t look at him as he spoke. 

    Departed Realm? Was Lloyd dead? Had something killed him in the monastery? 

    “My father.” Lloyd sputtered. “Is my father here?” 

    “Lloyd.” 

    “If I’m dead he must be too and–”

    “You are not dead, Lloyd.” 

    He blinked. “Huh?” 

    “You did something that brought you here, yes. A risky move with the power of creation.” The First Spinjitzu Master stepped around his dragon. “But you are not dead, yet.” 

    “Yet?” 

    “If you wish, you can have a place here. Or you can return to all your responsibilities in Ninjago.” He said the word “responsibility” like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

    Lloyd wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Stay here or go back to Ninjago? To him the choice was obvious, but what if his father hadn’t survived? He’d lose his only chance to see him. 

    He opened his mouth to respond, only to feel a hand grip his shoulder.

    “It’s fine, father, I can take it from here.” 

    Lloyd’s throat went tight at the familiar voice. He looked behind him to see his father towering over him, looking so much like how he used to with his grey hair and black robes. 

    “Garmadon?” The First Spinjitzu Master said. “How did you get here?”

    “I was in the departed realm long enough to learn a few tricks, not that you were willing to teach me.” Garmadon smiled, in spite of his tone. “Now if you don’t mind, stay away from my son.” 

    Lloyd blinked and all the greenery vanished. Instead it was replaced with walls that were familiar, but it’d been so long since he’d seen them. His father’s monastery. 

    “Dad?” Lloyd finally turned to face him. “Dad is…” He couldn’t finish the sentence before he crashed into his father, squeezing him as tight as he could. 

    “Shh, Lloyd.” Garmadon ran a hand through his hair. “There will be time for this later.” 

    “Are we dead? Are you dead?” Lloyd looked up at him. 

    “No, our stay here is only temporary.” His father wiped the tears off his cheeks. “But I wanted to speak to you before we went back.”

    “We?” Lloyd choked on his voice again. “You… I don’t understand.” 

    Garmadon shook his head and knelt down. “It will be easier to explain when we’re back in Ninjago. Right now, please listen.”

    Lloyd nodded. 

    “Lloyd.” His father held his face so gently. “I am sorry.” 

    “Huh? For what?”

    “For everything, for most of what I taught you when I was still myself. For letting darkness trick me into the overlord’s hands, leaving you to defeat him. For not protecting you from him when he returned.”

    “Dad, none of that was your fault.” Lloyd grabbed his father’s wrist. 

    “Listen.” Garmadon insisted. “I’m sorry for leaving you to cast me into the cursed realm, and then telling you to go on without me when you found me there.”

    “There wasn’t another choice. I tried freeing you.”

    “I know.” Garmadon said. “But all of this, all the things Wu has taught you, all the things the world is telling you, you keep having to believe you must be the one to carry the burden of it all.” 

    “I’m the green ninja.” Lloyd straightened his shoulders. 

    “You’re a child.” Garmadon’s tone was harsh, but his expression softened after he said. “You were only twelve when this all started. And how could I…” Now he was the one struggling with his words. “How could I have left you to carry all of that? How could my brother?” 

    Lloyd tried to keep his composure, but as his father was saying all of this he could feel the weight coming back to his shoulders all at once. He fought horror after horror, had his body stolen from him, was betrayed by people he trusted. 

    “But that’s my destiny.” He still argued. “Isn’t it? Isn’t this what I’m supposed to do?” 

    “I don’t care.” Garmadon stood. “I don’t care if it is your destiny. I don’t even know if destiny is real. My reason for telling you is this. When we get back, if it ever feels like too much, if you ever feel like you can’t handle it, tell me. I will carry that for you.”

    “But you can’t.” Lloyd shouted. “It’s my responsibility.”

    “Who said?” His father matched his volume. “Wu? My father? Are they the masters of your life? No, you are. If you make the choice to save the world then I will support you. And I am proud of you. But don’t do this because you think you have to Lloyd.” 

    Garmadon pulled him back into a hug. “When we get back, I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to risk everything to save Ninjago. That much responsibility should not fall on the shoulders of a child who’s own childhood was stolen from him.” 

    Lloyd still felt the urge to argue, but couldn’t find the words. What could he say to that? He certainly couldn’t deny any of it. 

    For now, he simply hugged his father back. 

----------------------

    Lloyd couldn’t say what happened. One moment he was hugging his father, the next his arms felt cold and his head wouldn’t stop pounding.

    He opened his eyes, seeing the ceiling of the bedroom in the monastery. Even in spite of the upgrades when they rebuilt it, he still couldn’t get a room to himself. 

    At least the building was still intact. Lloyd sat up, holding his head. It wouldn’t stop pounding, and his muscles ached, like he’d just been training non-stop for eight hours. 

    “He’s awake!” 

    Lloyd only got a glimpse of Kai in the doorway before his brother vanished. Didn’t even get the chance to ask him not to shout.

    Moments later he could feel the pounding of feet against the wooden floor. The other ninja all flooded into the room along with Wu, Misako, and even Dareth. 

    Lloyd didn’t get to protest as they huddled around him in a giant hug. In a way he appreciated it, but his head was killing him. 

    “You okay?” Kai was the first to ask as all of them backed off, just a bit.

    “Head hurts.” Lloyd reported. “Feel tired, but fine otherwise.” 

    “Hah, thank goodness.” Kai gave a nervous laugh. “When you did that thing we all thought you like, exploded.”

    Lloyd blinked and looked at everyone. “What thing?”

    Nya began “Well–” 

    “–It was crazy.” Jay cut in. “You were like, hugging your dad and then you started glowing green? Not that unusual with your powers right? But then when you opened your eyes those were also glowing green? And then you opened your mouth and that was too!” 

    “And this green light just completely overtook the monastery.” Cole continued. “All the oni freaked out, big time, and wound up fleeing. Can’t say if they’re gone for good but they’re gone for now.” 

    “Huh?” Lloyd stared at them. “I don’t… I don’t remember this at all.”

    “What do you last remember?” Misako asked. 

    “I was trying to save Dad. I just wanted to…” Is that what he did? “Wait, where is Dad?” 

    Misako looked to the side. “He’s–”

    “Right here.” 

    Everyone thankfully moved far enough away when they turned to look at the doorway. It took Lloyd a moment to even recognize the man. While he certainly looked more human, some of the oni features seemed to stick. Including a short pair of horns and his four arms. 

    “My apologies.” Garmadon glanced at them. “I know you told me to stay in my room, but I wanted to see Lloyd.” 

    “Dad?” Lloyd shoved the sheets away and climbed through his friends in order to reach his father. His exhaustion caught up with him quick, and he mostly fell into the hug, but it felt so familiar. So familiar and safe. 

    “You’re alive.” Once more he had to fight with his tears. “You’re back and you’re alive.” 

    “I’m back.” His father tightened his grip. “And I’m never leaving you again.”

[spaceraspberries]

(The first chapter of my 18+ Undertale Fic ‘Monsterous Skeletonus’ is complete!)

(It’s gonna be a -very- slow burn, but there will be a whole lot of the UF Skelebro’s (G included!) in later chapters and a whole lot of eventual smut to go with it, even if the plot is gonna be heavier than a semi as it maps out 👀)

(Once I get it proof read fully I’m going to post it on A03!)

.................

‘Alright, alright! Easy now. We don’t need anyone breaking a leg, do we?’

‘Ugh, why do we need to go -all- the way down here? It’s not like the machinery for this shit doesn’t exist. I feel like a old school miner or something, y’know?’

‘Hey! That’s no way for a brave explorer to talk, Meg! Don’t you want to see what’s down there? Could be all sorts of cool, weird stuff!’

‘Like what? More rocks and dirt?~ Oh! Maybe some ‘sand’ even? Give me a break’

‘Guys, d-don’t start arguing. We’re going to be down here f-for a while so it’s best to get along~’

.................

The varying chatter of excited, muffled voices ringing down into the unknown, inky blackness of what was assumed to be a rather hidden among the weeds and rocks but still wide crevice leading into Mt. Ebott that had been only recently discovered, the forested area had been well scouted out over the past few weeks and had been mapped well so that the current team leading the charge wouldn’t have to contend with trying to figure out where their destination would be by sight alone.

The ‘team’, otherwise known as FTL (Future team leaders. A cheesy name if there had ever been one) were simply a group of third year Geo students who had been tasked with taking core samples from the innermost caverns of Mt. Ebott for substrate testing. It wasn’t exactly a glamorous job by any stretch of the word but it was good experience for the youngsters in terms of field work, the leader of the group of ragtag students, a rather burley, bearded man named Sean and his partner Gunter already being at the bottom of the cavern as they waited for the rest of his team to follow suit, the impatient Sean watching as Meg and Desmond, the third and fourth oldest on the team respectively, carefully sidled their way down the craggy rock surface, arguing all the way much to the usually cheerful but honest mans chagrin.

“The more you guys complain the more time your gonna spend down here getting the damn samples. We still have to set up camp too so I suggest you guys pick up the pace”.

A collective groan coming from the duo grappling down, Desmond and Meg soon reached the bottom of the dimly lit cavern while two other members on the surface still suited up, Terra and Mira, a pair of naive adventurers if there ever were any, looking seriously nervous as they prepared to begin the descent down into the unknown.

“You ready?”, Mira smiling nervously at the freckle faced Terra as her friend nodded back hesitantly, it was more often than not that Mira was the braver one between the both of them, Terra being more of the ‘I’ll just follow you for safety sake’ type ever since they were children and Mira often having had to assume a’leadership’ role because of it.

Not that she minded it at all though! If anything, the short-stack of a girl enjoyed leading her best friend through the forest and hills when they were merely kids, the both of them often fighting imaginary monsters and imagining what it would be like to climb the forbidding and dangerous Mt. Ebott that had the reputation of housing -real- beasts and all sorts of angry spirits for centuries.

Well, according to many a scary bedtime story it did at least, Mira no really longer believing such childish fantasies and thinking them about as real as a monster under the bed. The girl had always been terrified as a kid by the thought of some horrific creature climbing down the mountain and snatching her up in the night when she misbehaved, her being unable to look back at those times without laughing at how her own imagination used to run wild.

“Y-yeah, let’s just take it easy though, alright?”.

Terra blushing nervously as Mira grinned and the both of them began the slow descent down into the inner workings of the massive Mt. Ebott, the dark slag that covered most of the upper surface area soon gave way to crumbly, brown flecks of caked in dirt about halfway down that rained into the depths below at the smallest touch, the bright entrance to the surface growing smaller and yet smaller still as eventually it was merely a pin prick of light far, far above the teams head when Terra and Mira finally hit the weirdly soft and rather squishy ground beneath.

“See? We made it down okay~”, Mira helping to unclip Terra’s equipment as she could tell her fellow team mate was uneasy, she was used to Terra being a bit of a worry wart but she seemed to be especially unnerved today for some reason, “Told ya we would make it in one piece”. Sticking her tongue out playfully at Terra as the girl batted her hand away with a sigh once she was unclipped, Mira laughed as Sean meanwhile approached with bottles of water for both of them.

“Hey now! Looks like you made it all in one piece!~”, Sean smirking broadly as he playfully patted the nervous looking Terra on the back, the girl smiled small as she watched the others in the group already beginning to set their bags down alongside the smooth, stone covered walls of the wide, expansive cavern they had landed in.

The circular area where they stood being lit by a few torches that Gunter, a rather quiet short man that was second in command to Sean had placed around what would be their designated base area, it was easy to tell that whatever this place was it must have been pretty damn old, scraggy bits of moss and thick, thorny vines creeping up the strangely, almost ‘carved’ looking walls that were reminiscent of a oversized well in a way.

The dirt covered ground being rather soft and squishy as was mentioned previously, it wasn’t ‘wet’ but had the texture and feel of a half absorbed sponge that had been wrung out and left to dry, bits of dried plant matter, green and yellow, making up a bulk of the signs of life that had floated down from the surface to the seemingly lifeless cave over the years, a large pile of the shriveled mess having formed a rather neat mound directly below the gleaming entrance far above.

Meanwhile, the lack of hardiness in the soil was proving difficult for Desmond to drive the stakes for his tent into by his annoyed grunts and frustrated strings of cusses.

Nature wasn’t for everyone apparently.

A naturally formed but crooked arch towards the east appearing to lead deeper into whatever lay beyond the teams immediate landing spot, it was oddly convenient, almost as if it was beckoning anyone who fell or grappled their way down here to enter it and take a chance with whatever dangers laid beyond Its dismal, abyss like entryway.

Mira getting a bit of a odd vibe from the area as she decided to stick by her team mates side for now, there would be plenty of time to explore later, her taking a sip from her water bottle with a content sigh as Sean soon formed everyone in a loose huddle to discuss their next plan of action.

“Alright!”, Clapping a hand to get everyones attention as he visually assessed that his team was safe and sound, Sean held his constant, positive outlook proudly even as most of his members looked exhausted from the day trek up Ebott and grappling down here, “Now, we all know why we’re here, collecting samples and all that fun stuff. Of course, to avoid outside contamination from -that-“, Sean pointed upwards at the tiny prick of light to the surface above them, “We are going to have to do a bit of traveling inwards once morning hits!”.

“Oh! Does that mean we get to see how far all this goes?~”, Mira speaking up as she genuinely seemed excited about the possibility of traveling farther into the cave system, she ignored the sound of Meg behind her muttering something annoyed under her breath, “I hear some of these caves can stretch for -miles-!”.

“Andddd your exactly right, kiddo! Of course, we only need to collect samples unspoiled by outside contamination. We won’t need to travel too terrible far in for that, but I wouldn’t discount the idea of another trip down here if funding for this pans out”, Sean winking at Mira as the pint sized girl blushed and internally swooned, a intentional, rough cough from Desmond seemed to break the pair out of whatever little ‘thing’ was blooming between them as he motioned to the tents that still needed to be set up.

“Yeah, uh, a-anyways, another thing guys, I don’t want to see anyone wandering off either, got it? We have no idea where these caverns might lead and the last thing we need is to have to send out a rescue squad to find one of you. I’m sure everyone has heard the horror stories of those idiots who decide to go off alone and wind up wedged under a boulder or something”.

Sighing a bit awkwardly to himself as he seemed to get the hint across to his team judging from the murmurs of acknowledgement they gave, Sean was a natural leader and the head of this group obviously....but sometimes it was a bit difficult to get everyone on the same page, the only real ‘friendship’ between them all outside of being grouped students and cavers being Terra and Mira, two of the youngest mates among them.

This was going to be a long, difficult journey if they couldn’t all manage to find a common ground to communicate on, but at least in the end their mission was likely to prove successful now that they had arrived safely in the interior workings of Ebott as planned with barely a scratch.

Soon enough everyone would be back on the surface and they could all go their separate ways, but for now there was work to be done in terms of getting tents set up and dinner ready, the long hike just to get to the top of Ebott having been almost a full days worth of energy.

“Meg, you get a fire and dinner set up since Desmond already has the tents”, Pulling out a small note paid from his pocket as he scribbled something down while he spoke, Sean than looked at Terra and Mira as his usually eager eyes seemed to grow a bit more tense in thought as he rubbed his temple slowly with his free hand.

“And you two....Just...don’t do anything stupid, okay? We don’t want another Cauldron incident. That -especially- goes for you Mira, got it?”.

“Uh...yeah, y-yes Sir”, Mira blushing and nodding once as she glanced at Terra who now had a chance to smile and nudge her friend back playfully, neither of them particularly were proud of the unspoken ‘Cauldron’ incident but it was good reason for them to stay put and out of the way.

...........................

The team taking the next hour or two to set up tents and unpack gear, the plan was for a three day excursion to take samples from the depths of Ebott for both sediment and groundwater exploration. Of course, no one had really ever been -in- this mysterious cave system until now to map it out, the next few days having the potential to be longer or shorter depending on exactly how difficult the terrain proved to be to navigate.

By the time Meg had managed to scrap together a decent fire and everyone had settled down around it for a meal of rationed leek and potato Soup, the group seemed to be more than happy to simply have the chance to relax and take off their worn jackets and boots, The night sky far, far above them having the faintest sparkle of stars and moon mist to indicate the time of day on the surface.

Mira sitting to the left of Terra and near Sean on a blanket while Gunter sat near Desmond on the ground and Meg had perched herself on her bag, it could have almost be called a crude form of camping in a way if any of the said campers shared any sense of shared camaraderie.

“I’ve always heard weird things about this mountain, y’know? Things like ghosts and goblins and the like”, Desmond sipping his soup as he spoke with a sly grin, the flannel shirted man seemed to enjoy the way he made the nervous Terra especially perk up and shuffle ever so closer to Mira like a lost pup.

“How they especially like to eat little kids that wander away from home....Yeah, I bet they are just waiting to snatch some new prey up when they get a chance~”.

“Real mature, Des. I bet it took you all day to come up with that one, right?”, Meg rolling her blue eyes as the man continues to grin and simply drank his soup, Mira meanwhile seemed to be quite curious about what Desmond was getting at though as she suddenly became a bit more attentive.

“Well...I’m not a kid and neither is Terra, so we should be fine~”, Smiling lightly as she kind of wanted Desmond to continue talking about his little stories of what might be in these mountains, her gaze silently urged him to keep speaking as she let Terra cuddle close to her for warmth.

Desmond chuckling and shaking his head at Mira’s assertion that she wasn’t a child, he closed his eyes for a moment in thought, “ Nah, you don’t wanna hear stuff like that before bed, believe me”.

“B-but, I mean it, I’m really curious about -all- that kind of stuff! Cryptids, ghosts, you name it! I-I mean I don’t -believe- in any of it...it’s just, uh...fascinating I guess”.

“Mmm, I think he might be right, Mira. Besides, we should be hitting the sack soon anyways. Everyone’s got a big day ahead tomorrow”, Sean raising a brow at Mira’s apparent interest in what might be lurking around the inner workings of Ebott, his input seemed to only fuel Mira’s insistence in knowing more about what she thought Desmond was ‘hiding’ from her because he saw her as merely a kid.

“Come on, just -one- story?~ You can’t just lead me on like that”, Mira feeling Terra cuddle a bit closer to her even more so as she seemed to be persistent enough to convince Desmond to give in, the man sighed and put his empty cup down as Mira internally cheered that he seemed he was going to tell them more about his creepy tales.

“Alright alright, but only one, got it? Man, you kids these days know how to work a old mans feelings”.

........................

................

.........

Sleep coming easy for the exhausted group by the time Desmond had sufficiently managed to spook nearly everyone out with his tale of a creature called the ‘Crooked handed woman’, Terra had, as usual, decided to remain by Mira’s side even when they were comfortably safe inside their tents and was cuddled up next to her best friend once the group had decided to call it a night.

It wasn’t as if Mira minded much that the perpetually nervous girl wanted to share a tent, her honestly thriving off the warmth that the both of them being this close gave in this unnaturally cold cavern.

Desmond’s tale still ringing in the back of Mira’s mind as she fell into a mild sleep not long after getting herself comfortable, the thought of some old, crone like hag with skin like old onion paper and a twisted and gnarled hand with a ‘mind of its own’ was enough to keep her up a little after everyone else had fallen asleep, the occasional sound of what Mira assumed was dried leaves shuffling outside her tent instinctively making her cuddle up a bit more in her sleeping bag to feel smaller.

Yeah, maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to beg Desmond to tell his tale after all....

‘T-there isn’t anything out there! Stop being stupid and get your mind off of it already!’

Maybe Desmond was right to not want to tell his creepy stories when what she really needed was to sleep for tomorrows expedition deeper into the cave, Mira sighing a bit to herself as she watched Terra’s soft, unworried, sleeping face next to her own as she slowly tried to lull her body into rest as well.

............

......

-scerch scerch...scritch....~

‘W-what? What is that?’

Mira cracking her groggy eyes open after a minute or so of letting her mind rest, the sound of rustling ‘leaves’ outside of her tent had for a second or two became a bit louder than before, her senses instinctively going on high alert as she waited in silence to see if she wasn’t truly just going crazy from exhaustion.

...............

.........

‘scritch scritch....-c r u u u u n c h-

.............

The sound of what Mira could best describe as one of the Lit-A-Fire portable logs that had been put out by Sean earlier snapping slowly in half, the girls heart was pounding in her chest by now as it was more than obvious that someone, or some t h i n g, was out there just beyond her tent, her wide eyes focusing on the still sleeping Terra in front of her as she debated on waking her friend up to investigate.

‘No, she is just gonna freak out. Just stay put Mira...I-it’s probably just Sean or someone out there....’

............

-c r u n c h-

The sound of another one of the logs seemingly being split in half reaching Mira’s ears as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to panic, a odd tapping noise, almost like long nails clicking on stone, was a new sound to emerge after a few seconds of silence, the story she had heard from Desmond earlier returning to her already panicking young mind ten fold.

The old lady with her crooked hand and it’s long, gnarled nails....t-there was no way it was real, right?

............

.......

-tap tap-

A terrified, muffled squeak coming from Mira as she buried her head in her bag, the sound was now right outside of her tent as she felt Terra stir besides her, her not wanting to see who or whatever was attempting to seemingly try to get her attention as the front zipper of the girls shared tent opened rather slow and quietly.

“G-go away!!”.

Mira bolting up and slamming a pillow directly into the face of a most perplexed looking Gunter, the sleepy, heavy set man crunched his brow together as he put his hands up in a mock fashion to show he surrendered.

“Hey there, just calm down!”, Shaking his head once as he tried to speak quietly to avoid waking Terra, Mira blushed heavily out of shame as she immediately seemed to realize how stupid she had been to think that the kindly second in command to Sean had been some kind of ‘monster’.

“Was wonder’in if ya had the first aid in here. Kinda stepped on some of the logs while going to take a leak...and, well...”, Gunter running a hand along his hairline as Mira immediately went to hand off the box of medical supplies to the sleepy looking man that resided safely by the tent entrance, the pink blush she had sprouted didn’t leave her face as she sighed and retrieved her pillow she had thrown at him as well.

“Sorry bout that....”, Speaking quietly as she hugged the parcel to her chest, Mira was merely given a nod by the typically introverted Gunter as he went to zip the tent back up, her and the still sleeping Terra once again being left in the dark, Mira feeling like a total fool for letting Desmond and his stupid story get to her to the point of her actually thinking some terrifying beast had been shuffling about outside.

..............

........

-Scritchhhhhh~

Laying back down to -finally- get some much needed sleep, Mira paid little mind to the sound of what she assumed was Gunter bandaging up his wounded foot, her giving a mighty yawn as she wrapped a arm around Terra and-

..........

-B A N G-

.............

A heavy, extremely loud jolt rocking the pairs tent and apparently the others nearby as she could hear the sound of confused yelling and tired murmurs almost all at once, the startled Terra too blinked her eyes open as she gave a scared, confused look to Mira, her putting a finger to her lip to silently signal to the younger girl to remain quiet as she unzipped and peeked out of the tent to see what the heck was up now.

.......

-B A N G!!!-

A heavy, hot pressure nearly collapsing the heavy canvas tent in on both Terra and Mira as the girls let out a terrified cry of confusion as the fabric fell around them, Mira even under the mess could tell that Sean was shouting indistinguishable words to the others in a apparent panic at whatever was going on, Meg’s just as muffled, frantic pleas mixing in with his orders as Mira tried to yank Terra out from under their collapsed tent as another heavy bang and a sudden, strange whistling noise erupted around them again.

“T-Terra! We need to get out of here!!!”.

Terra, fearful tears streaming down her face as Mira grabbed a hold of her wrist while a bright flash of what could only have been described as a ‘ball of green hued flames’ slammed into the opposing wall nearest where Desmond and Meg’s tent had been, Mira squirmed out from the remnants of tent fabric as she didn’t bother or try to look at whatever or whoever was causing this havoc, her only instinct telling her to run as far away with Terra as she could while she still had the chance.....

Whatever was going on m-must have been some weird, natural cave phenomenon....that was the only real explanation Mira could come up with on the fly e-even if it made little sense logically....

Flames just didn’t shoot out of nowhere like this though.....but maybe since Ebott was rumored to be a long dormant volcano t-that had something to do with all of this?

As little sense as it made it was the -only- logic running through Mira’s imagination as she tried to block out the frantic sound of yelling and screaming back from base, the loud crack of a shotgun being added to the fray as Mira practically dragged Terra towards the archway nearby.

The dimness of the cavern making it nearly impossible for the pair to get their footing as the torches from earlier had been put out by Sean in anticipation of a good nights rest, Mira blindly ran towards the stone archway that led deeper into the yet unexplored inner cavern, her bare feet scrapping painfully along the much rougher, cement-like surface of the pitch black entry way into the unknown depths.

Her nearly crushing Terra’s wrist in her grip as she pulled the hyperventilating and crying girl along, the sound of the carnage from the base camp was now only a muffled, distant drone as the wide eyed and fully shocked Mira eventually stopped to take a breath once they reached a narrow alcove that was eerily silent and still compared to the chaos outside.

“Y-you alright?~”, Whispering softly to Terra as she held her sobbing friend close to her chest, Mira tried to shush Terra but it wasn’t doing much good, the easily terrified girl unable to calm herself as she clung to Mira tightly.

“I want to go -home-, Mira! Coming down h-here was a mistake! I -knew- it was a bad idea and now look what happened! We need to g-go back and help them!!”.

“I know, I wanna go home too....but I don’t think going back there is the best option right now”, Mira trying to give Terra a little smirk to lighten the mood but failing miserably, it didn’t help much at all as Terra simply broke out into a fresh round of sobbing, “We will figure this out, okay?~ I-I’m sure things aren’t as bad as they seem and we probably just over reacted. To be honest I bet this is one of Sean’s stupid pranks”.

“Thats -not- funny and you know that isn’t true!! F-for all we know Sean a-and Desmond and everyone else is hurt back there! I don’t know what happened but whatever a-accident or...-thing- tore up all our tents...but we are going to have to go back and help them!”.

The sound of the distant drone of chaos back from the base slowly growing less urgent as a unnerving silence began to replace it instead, Mira gave Terra a look that said to not even try it, her keeping her grip on her friends wrist as tight as ever.

“Listen...”, Mira taking a hold of Terra’s trembling hand as she tried to be the braver one between them, she sensed that the agitated girl was going to run off the first chance she saw to who knows where and wasn’t going to take the risk of letting that happen.

“Your going to stick with me until we can figure out what’s going on, okay? Going it alone in this place...seems a bit, uh, dangerous...”.

“B-but Mira!-“.

Mira letting out a deep, exhausted sigh as she shuffled Terra to her chest for comfort with the girls protesting, it was partially to avoid letting her see the nervous tears forming in her own eyes, Mira not being cut out to be a leader on the fly like this by any means.

“We need to see if there are any other exits out of here. I know this is scary a-and all, but I know you can do this, Terra~ I know your really brave deep down even if you don’t think it”, Giving her friends hand one last squeeze of determination as Terra seemed to brighten up slightly at Mira’s kind words, the darkness ahead of them seemed to be silently daring the inexperienced pair to take it on, there being no chance of going back now as Mira gave a slight tug of Terra’s arm to prompt her along into the unexplored and potentially hazardous new world, “We are going to get out of here together, I promise”.

Unfortunately for the unwary girls, the journey ahead of them wasn’t going to be easy and the chance of either making it back to the surface at all was slim, a certain green eyed, rather dirty furred ‘beast’ already being well aware of Mira and Terra’s presence~

[larkiwrites]

“Redemption” Chapter 13

AU: Supernatural Title: Redemption Chapter: Thirteen Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader Word Count:  2,266 Pairing: Getting There…. Warnings: Mentions of being restrained, being drugged, and being undressed/re-clothed while unconscious. Violence and swearing. A/N: This chapter flips between (Y/N)’s POV and more of Dean’s POV. Feel free to provide feedback / comments / suggestions / etc. Thanks for sticking around.

Chapter 12  |  Chapter 14  |  Masterlist

*(Y/N)’s perspective

After a moment of steadying yourself, you rolled back over to your unconscious guard. You patted her body down, hoping against hope that she would have a key to the shackles binding your wrists. Having come up empty you sighed and pushed yourself to your feet. The woman wore something similar to yourself, some sort of silky-smooth nightgown and nothing else. No shows, no weapon, no key.

You felt your way along the stone wall back toward the entrance to the hovel you occupied, tip-toeing as you went. Your eyes strained as you went but you were able to make out the vague outline of some sort of arch. Poking your head through you realized it led to a short tunnel. You would have to stoop to try to navigate it but it was, as far as you knew, your only choice.

After a brief moment of hesitation, you moved forward. The soil beneath your feet began to shift from a damp and cushioned surface to a dry and rough texture. You bit your tongue, mentally cursing whoever brought you here for taking your damn shoes. The path began to slope, causing the muscles in your already-tired legs to complain. The further you went the brighter your surroundings became, allowing your eyes to slowly adjust and take in more. The air began to smell less of mildew and more of musty, dry dirt. What felt like a lifetime passed as you steadily made your way through the cramped passageway before you came to another opening.

You paused, gazing out into what appeared to be a larger cavern of some kind. You must be in an underground system of caves. Voices drifted toward you and you froze, pressing yourself against the wall in an attempt to make yourself small. Your heart accelerated and you shut your eyes tightly, trying to calm yourself and the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

Whoever spoke was too far away to make out anything they said and soon the voices began to die away, as if they were moving away from you. You swallowed a thick lump in your throat as you ducked out of your passageway and into the rocky cavern.

----

*Dean’s perspective

The two hunters’ boots crunched over the twigs scattered about the forest floor. They did their best to move swiftly and silently but nature had a way of making itself known. Both men had drawn their guns and shut their lights off when they had found (Y/N)’s shirt, knowing there would be plenty of eyes in their forest and wanting to avoid all of them.

Dean had picked up on some tracks after heading left at the tree as Sam had suggested and now, they followed them. He reached his hand up to move a branch out of the way of his face when his fingers became intertwined with woman’s hair. Bringing it to his nose his eyes widened as he recognized (Y/N)’s shampoo.

“Shit, Sammy, her hair is in the branches. They’re not exactly treating her like precious cargo.”

Sam’s lips pressed together in a thin line and the two brothers continued moving forward, up an incline and into the depths of the woods. Their breaths grew heavier as their muscles began to burn. The hike was becoming more difficult, especially with the low amount of light they had. Despite the struggle in the dark they didn’t want the sun to rise, either. If Sam’s research was correct, and it usually was, sunrise would be (Y/N)’s final moments- unless the Winchesters could get to her first.

Dean’s mouth grew parched as they continued upward, following the tracks. Once this was all over, he was going to insist on finding a diner with an amazing burger and a coke. The brothers froze in their steps when the whisper of voices found them. Simultaneously they both crouched, raising their guns to a shooting position. Dean’s ears strained as he tried to make out who was speaking and what they were saying. Sam closed his eyes, trying to judge the distance between the source of the noise and himself.

“The oblation will be ready,” a hushed, masculine voice could be heard.

“As will the rest,” another answered.

The hunters met one another’s gaze before quietly moving toward the men. Their silhouettes could be seen against a dark backdrop that Dean couldn’t quite make out. The men continued to speak in riddles and while he tried to listen, he didn’t understand the majority of it. He briefly wondered if Sam was getting more from it than he was, being the brainy geek that he is.

Sam tapped once on his brother’s left shoulder in silent communication. Dean gave a brief nod before heading to the left while Sam circled to the right. The voices grew louder as the brothers closed in on their targets. They directed one another with silent hand gestures and within one rapid movement they leapt from their cover and tackled the men, swiftly bringing them down. Dean knocked the man on the left unconscious with a swift crack of the man’s head against the cold earth beneath them. Sam had the other man in a headlock, slowly cutting of his airways and preventing him from alerting anyone else of the Winchesters’ presence.

“Where is she?” Sam grunted in the man’s ear, a strained half-whisper as he strained to hold the man tightly.

Dean lifted his gun to the man’s face, “You might want to answer.”

The man tapped against Sam’s forearm, signaling to let him go. Sam let up on his throat just enough for him to croak a reply, “in the cave.”

“And where will she be at dawn?” Dean’s rough voice dripped in anger. The man’s eyes widened at the question, whether from the fact that the hunters knew as much as they did, or at the tone of Dean’s voice, the older brother couldn’t tell.

Sam tightened his grip when the man hesitated in answering. His eyes grew wider as he frantically tapped Sam’s arm once more. The young Winchester let up on the pressure once more, just enough to allow him to reply.

“In the water,” he whispered, his voice raw. He stretched his arm out and pointed to Dean’s right with a shaky hand.

Dean’s eyes met Sam’s and the elder Winchester’s head bowed ever so slightly. Sam nodded in reply before he pulled his arms together, cutting of the man’s airway and finally rendering him unconscious. He slowly lowered the man’s body to the ground before he patted him down. Dean did the same with the other man, the brothers relieving the men of their weapons before binding them with the small amount of rope Dean had brought with them from the Impala. It wasn’t much but would hopefully give him and his kid brother a head-start.

Sam wiped the sweat from his brow, his body becoming tired from the exertion of the hike and neutralizing the two men. With their coordinated and silent communication, the hunters moved in the direction the man had indicated, searching for the cave.

----

*(Y/N)’s perspective

The cavern was more well-lit than the passageway had been, or the pit you had been in before that. In the distance you could see a source of light but couldn’t quite make out what it was from where you were. You needed to find a way out of the place but you needed to make sure you weren’t caught, either, or it would have all been for nothing.

You kept hunched over, trying to make your form as small as you could, as you snuck into a crevice of stones. The voices you had heard earlier were becoming louder once more, making you wonder if they were guards on a specific route.

You began to understand some of their conversation as they grew ever closer. They spoke of water and wanting to be there at dawn, but you couldn’t make heads or tales of what any of it actually meant. They sounded almost brainwashed, as if they were part of some sort of cult that had its own language. You bit your bottom lip, trying to still your breathing and quiet yourself. A knife was mentioned, and blood. You were sure, being the prisoner, that couldn’t be a good sign for yourself.

The voices began to fade once more as they continued their pace. You stole out of your hiding place and into the opposite direction of their sound. It was more than likely that they would, at some point, turn and head back the same way, following their limited route. You didn’t want to wind up in their direct path when they did.

Your feet began to ache as you continued onward, stumbling over rock and dirt as you went. A fucking flashlight would be great right about now, you thought to yourself. You were trying to make your way closer to the source of light you had seen earlier, hoping that if it wasn’t an exit that it would at least guide you toward one.

You could hear more voices as you drew closer to your destination. How many of these assholes were there? Your heartbeat grew erratic as you brought yourself closer to a source of danger, crouching behind more boulders and stones.

The light came from several electric lamps sitting upon crates and pallets on a make-shift base. Several guards stood, with several more sitting upon crates or the wooden flooring created by the pallets. You needed to get the hell out of here. Behind the group of people, you could make out the silhouette of an opening with what appeared to be trees on the other side of it. You took a deep, steady breath. You needed to find a way around this cluster of guards and out into those trees, it was your only hope to find a way back to civilization. Hell, you would even take the Winchesters at this point. It was stupid of you to have run from them, knowing what you do now. They had clearly kept secrets from you but at least they didn’t drug you, strip you down, force you into some kind of lingerie, and throw you into a fucking cave.

Shaking your head, trying to clear your thoughts, you searched for a path out of this hell-hole. Doing your best to keep behind boulders and out of the rays of light shining from the lanterns, you crept slowly toward the cave’s entrance. Cool, fresh air caressed your face as you drew closer to the opening, bringing with it a comfort you hadn’t realized you were lacking. You had grown hot in the underground labyrinth as your sore muscles pushed you forward through it. The breeze clung to the droplets of sweat that glistened across your forehead and on the back of your neck, chilling your skin. You shivered as you moved closer to the looming trees, a sense of urgency having taken over you.

Shouting voices from within the cave broke the near-silence, causing you to jump. Had your guard already awoken? Had someone found her, and therefore found your absence? Shit, shit, shit, shit, a mantra formed in your mind as you stood and rushed forward, out of the cave and into the woods. Your bare feet screamed at you as the ground changed from rocky dirt to a layer of twigs and various forest debris. Running was awkward with your hands still shackled in front of you and you found yourself brushing against bark and branches more than once, their touch leaving a stinging bite in their wake.

You didn’t look back, you simply ran. Recalling something you had heard long ago in a different lifetime; you began to zig-zag your way through the forest. Whether you had learned it in a movie or a book, or some other source, you couldn’t remember. All you knew is it would be harder to hit you from a distance if you weren’t on a straight path…. assuming they had guns, that is. Adrenaline coursed through as you ran. You bit down on your cheek when a particularly sharp branch tore at the side of your skimpy article of clothing and bit into your flesh. You could feel the heat of fresh blood pool on your skin where the branch had opened you and it hurt like a bitch but you couldn’t dwell on it. Doing the best you could, you pushed the pain to the back of your mind as you moved further into the woods.

You slowed your pace and threw your gaze behind you, searching the woods for lanterns or torches, any source of light to indicate you were being followed. You could see nothing but the dark trees and tried to quell the rush of hope that spread within you. Returning your attention to the path in front of you, you let out a shocked yelp as you collided with a large man. The air rushed from your lungs at the impact and you felt his grip on your upper arms, stabilizing you before you could fully lose your balance and fall flat on your ass. Please be a Winchester, Please please please be a Winchester, you thought to yourself. Reluctantly, you brought your gaze up to meet dark eyes, and swallowed hard when you found an unfamiliar face.

“Leaving so soon, you pretty thing?” the man smirked, his voice cold and inhuman. Fear flooded you as his grip tightened and his smirk grew into an unnatural smile.

----

-Next Chapter-

[sparklingopalite]

Adventure. ( Illinois x Reader (?) )

Word Count: 1.3k+ SPOILERS AHEAD!!

The adventure with Mark didn’t quite go as planned. Thankfully, you met another partner on the way.

“ I’m ready.” You mumbled, your fingers tightly clasped around the grappling hook that hung by your side. Mark sat in front of you, a wide grin breaking out onto his face. You could tell the young man was satisfied and excited for the adventure that laid in front of you. “ Perfect,” He grinned, glancing down at the plans that sat in his hand. After a moment of examining, he nodded his head, his eyes looking back at you. “ Let’s do this.” You were always down for an adventure if you were being honest, in fact you were probably more brave than Mark himself. You both continued with your plan, successfully able to get into the room with the treasure you valued most - apparently. Mark had been discussing this treasure for months, explaining it in such glory. Yet, when Mark approached the glass container that held a box, you held a confused expression. Mark noticed, as he tossed the glass container off. “ What?” Mark scoffed, a condescending smile on his face, “ What did you expect? This baby is priceless, (Y/N).” You nodded in response, keeping silent about your thoughts on the artifact. After you nodded, sirens began to blare as a red over glow caste onto your companion. “Oh, fuck.’ Your thoughts scattered together, shooting an eye wide look at Mark. “ Oh, Fuck.” Mark spoke for you, shrugging it off, “ Not an issue! It seems we have two options here. Either we can… go out all sneaky like. Well, I guess we could’ve come in through that way, huh?” He let out a small laugh, shaking his head. From his jacket, he pulled out two objects - a bomb and a gun. “ Or we can go out guns blazing. It’s your choice, but you already know what sounds better.” You already knew what Mark wanted - Guns blazing, obviously.  The smarter choice would be to sneak out, there’s no way the guards would find you residing there. You were about to suggest that option, but when you saw the excitement in Mark’s eyes about ‘ Guns Blazing,” option, you knew you had to comply. “ Let’s go out guns blazing…?” You shrugged, watching how Mark couldn’t contain his excitement anymore. “ I was hoping you would say that!” He chuckled loudly, preparing to throw the bomb. “ Fi-” He realized how loud his voice was, flinching at his own volume. “ Fire in the hole,” He whispered, chucking the bomb. “ Now, If  I know my medieval weaponry,” He spoke to you, “We probably got about 15 seconds before that puppy blows. So, when it does, I’ll dash righ-” Bam. Bam was a simple understatement of the noise that erupted into your hearing. When you looked around at the fire surrounding you, your vision was unclear and hazy. Yet, you were on your feet running after Mark, following his lead. Your free hand grasped your burnt arm, unable to feel the current pain due to the adrenaline rush. Mark stopped in his tracks, pushing open a door. You collapsed into the room right after him, not even bothering to read the warning about the room. The both of you paused in your rush, to take a quick five second break. “ Hey, Hey. Are you okay? Mark questioned, grabbing at your shoulders, concern drenching in his features. 

You nodded your head, your lips pushing together in a thin line as the pain slowly began to seep over you. “ Are you sure?” He continued to push, but before you could respond to Mark, a shout of a voice boomed around you both. “ Hey! I think they’re in here!” Mark glance at where the voice came from, then back to you. “ He could mean anyone, that’s probably not about u-” “ Hey! I was right! They are in here!” The voice repeated and Mark grasped onto your arm. “ Run!” Mark spoke to you, practically dragging you along. The two of you escaped out the building, your body giving out after you found a good spot to hide. You leaned against the stone wall, glancing at Mark. You were too tired to run, your arm was a bright red, some of your clothes were torn. “ Hey, hey, You’re gonna have to run again,” Mark nervously laughed, “ They’re still hot on our trail. You got this.” You weakly hoisted yourself up, following Mark into the nearby woods. Your features scrunched up as you shook your head when you saw what you saw. Were you hallucinating? Before you laid a helicopter and next to it rested a car. “ Which one?” Mark snapped you out of your thoughts, “ We don’t have much time.” Quickly, your feet carried you to the car, pushing you into the trunk as you watched Mark seat himself into the driver’s seat. He quickly started the car and all you could hear was the loud engine. “ Sleep well, (Y/N.) We’ll be safe.” Mark hummed, looking behind his shoulder. Birds flew around your car, humming a small tune to awaken you. Not to mention, Mark was quietly humming alongside the birds, working on the sausages he was cooking. Your groan interrupted the calm morning tune. Holy shit, did your arm hurt. When you slowly sat up, you tiredly glanced at Mark, a smile greeting you. “ G’morning sleepyhead,” Mark smiled. You glanced at your burnt arm that was now engulfed in bandages, unable to view the current state of your arm, but damn did it hurt. “ I was hoping we could head back to base,” Mark hummed, attempting to start up the car. He flinched when the car didn’t start. Mark attempted to start it again - the car was unresponsive. “ Well… We could walk to base or I could try to fix the engine.” “ Please, Just fix the engine.” You croaked out, sitting  and leaning against the side of the car for support. Mark was out of the car in seconds, attempting to fix it. After about 20 minutes, Mark called out to you and you slowly removed yourself from the car and put yourself next to Mark. “ What? What is-” You spoke as the ground shook beneath you. Darkness surrounded you as your back slammed against a  hard rock. Mark had somehow landed on his feet, running past you as he screamed. A boulder followed him as you shake your head and blinked harshly.

“ Hey there, was that you screaming?” A sauve voice spoke as you scurried away from the sound of the voice, afraid of the stranger - What if it was a cop? “ Hey, no need to be afraid. I showed that boulder who’s boss.” The man smirked, cocking his head to the side at you. You stared at him, blinking harshly again. Holy shit, it was a real life Indiana Jones. “ Woah,” The man bent over, his fingers grasping at the artifact you had stolen. Your eyes widened as he glanced at you then the… monkey? Where had the monkey come from? The object was quite enchanting though, a light aurora surrounded it. “ You didn’t steal this… Did you?” He asked, stepping towards you. He was possibly the most perfect man you had set your eyes on. “ Uh, No,” You stammered out, “ The only thing I want to steal is your heart.” Oh no, You were almost positive your face was beet red. The man let out a loud chuckle, shaking his head slightly. You could see a slight blush that rested on his cheeks. “ Well, I better find out where this thing belongs,” He hummed, tossing the monkey into the air. “ You can accompany me, if you’d like.” He winked, “ Name’s Illinois.” Illinois stuck out his hand and you took it in your own, standing up. Wow, he had rough hands. You glanced quickly down at his hands, noticing the light scars that danced on them. “ (Y/N).” You grinned, confidence coursing through your veins. “ You should be thankful you met me.” “ Oh darling, I already am.” Illinois grinned, removing his hat for just a moment to run his hands through his hair. He spun on his heel, wandering off into the cave. You followed him, excited to see where this adventure led.

Requests are open! :)

[i-heart-danchou]

Contrition

One of the hardest things Levi ever did was tell Erwin to let go of his dreams and die.  It was hard to watch him crumble to his depression, it was hard to pretend this was what he wanted, it was hard to watch the man he loved charge to his death.  Erwin’s presence had always grounded Levi and given him strength, and he found that often times in battle he’d search Erwin out, affirm his presence, and find the will to keep going.  

Erwin was strength, Erwin was power.  

Now though, in their last battle together, Levi found that watching Erwin was making his resolve waver.  He wanted to be beside him, he wanted to live and die with Erwin by his side… he didn’t want to skirt by the sidelines while Erwin got torn apart by stones.  

‘I’m sorry…’

He couldn’t fucking watch Erwin anymore, he couldn’t watch him fall, couldn’t watch him die… he’d made a promise, he’d made a fucking promise and he was going to keep it.  That vow would be his strength.

So he focused his attention on the beast.  He watched him crumble up boulders the size of a house with ease, he watched him shred the new recruits, and he watched him fucking laugh.  That goddamned fucking piece of shit was enjoying himself; he was delighted and enthralled to kill all those people… to kill Erwin.  He laughed.  He fucking threw his hands in the air and laughed.  

In the distance he heard someone scream out “Commander!!”  And he knew that Erwin had fallen.  His heart clenched, his blood ran cold, and he kept his eyes on that disgusting monster before him.      Erwin was dead and this fucker was fucking LAUGHING.  

It was with great pleasure that Levi ripped the beast to shreds.  Maybe he went a little overboard, but he wanted the bastard to suffer.

“You looked like you were having fun just now.”  He hissed, his blades sinking into his disgusting greasy fur.  

‘Cut his hands, blind him, hobble him, force him out, force him out— fucking cut off his balls if I can fuckin’ find em, fuck you, FUCK YOU. ‘

“Well don’t let me put a fucking damper on your fun!!”  He pulled the man from the titan, cut off his feet, stabbed his fucking face— he was disgusting, he was a piece of shit, trash of the very worst kind.  He wouldn’t be able to transform for a little while now, the rude shitstain wasn’t going to fucking talk… fine.  Levi had failed to kill Reiner, but he couldn’t kill this bastard yet.  

Erwin’s beautiful face came to mind and he searched the battlefield for that stripe of gold that gave him strength.  

‘Please.’  His whole body was trembling— adrenaline maybe, or fear, or… not hope, no, but… ‘If I can find just one person… even if they’re on the brink of death I can bring them back… just… just one man.’  

Thank you, Levi….

The Ackerman instinct was a beautiful thing.  He sensed that disgusting backpack titan coming before it struck, dodging out of the way moments before he was crushed in its overbitten jaw.  In some ways though, death might have been preferable to watching that hairy beast fucker asspull his way out of paying the price for his crimes once and for all.  

No.  No!!!

“Hey.  Stop.  I’m not done with you yet…” Fuck he was tired, fuck he didn’t have time for this! Erwin was dying— maybe already dead— he was bleeding out, he was alone, he was probably wondering where Levi was and—  Levi didn’t have time for this!  Just one man… please… “I swore to him I’d kill you no matter what!”  His blades dropped to the earth and he found his voice cracking.

“I PROMISED HIM!!”

**

Five years.  Five FUCKING years.  Five years of letting Erwin down, of biding his damned time, of a world without color passing him by.  Eren was out of control, the world was trying to eradicate every last one of them, whatever.  

The fucker’s name was Zeke, apparently.  And apparently Zeke had some fucking plan which was advantageous to Paradis, fucking fantastic.  Levi was all too happy to take on the job to extract Zeke from his disgusting hairy fortress, delighted once more to cut his limbs off, to hear him scream, to silence the sounds of rocks crumbling in his hands… to wipe that fucking smirk off his face.

It was torture to let the man live.  To put Erwin and their promise to the back of his mind, when he was so damned close he— He wasn't going to let Zeke out of his sight.  

Hanji knew Levi very well.  She knew there was no one better for the job of watching over this piece of shit than Levi, no one less likely to be swayed by his bullshit and lies.  He never took his eyes off Zeke, never lost the distinct pleasure he felt watching the man squirm with fear before him.

You killed Erwin.  You killed Erwin.  You killed Erwin and you laughed when you did it.

The days they were stuck in the woods together were profoundly unpleasant.  Zeke was an uppity, arrogant, miserable piece of work and he loved to provoke Levi whenever they were alone.  

“I was reading about your Survey Corps, Levi.  I was reading about what a colorful past you’ve all had before now.  Who was the commander before Hanji, Levi?  My brother told me you were quite close.  Erwin something, right?”  He smirked, and Levi wanted to punch all of his teeth in.  “One of your team got me a book about him.  He sounded like a merciless man, eh?  I bet he and I would have gotten along.  We’re a lot alike”

Levi’s jaw was so tight his teeth started to ache.  You’re nothing like him.  Erwin was ruthless but he had a fucking soul.  He agonized over the people who died on his behalf, he died selflessly and bravely—

“Shame, eh?  Killed by falling rocks.  What an ignoble end to a controversial character.”  He shrugged and leaned closer to Levi.  His breath smelled stale and his mustache was unkempt.  Levi didn’t flinch though, he didn’t want this fucker to win.   Zeke laughed, and a speck of his spit landed on Levi’s cheek.  

“That’s sweet, that you still think about him sometimes.  I guess most people have probably moved on.”  Zeke shrugged.  “Ah well.  Such is life.”

**

Levi had found himself asking about all of Zeke’s atrocities over and over again while they were together.  Maybe he was looking for a speck of remorse, a drop of contrition, anything to show that… that Erwin’s death had impacted him in some way.  He found none.  

Zeke had stolen the light from Levi’s life, and he’d fucking laughed.  

Eren wasn’t working with the SC any longer, and everything was about to go to shit.  It was with great pleasure that Levi realized he wouldn’t have to tolerate Zeke for much longer, that the polite seething rage he’d grown accustomed to hiding would be able to express itself at last.  Zeke was the enemy, Zeke was not long for this horrible world.  

Erwin… Erwin had died for these fucking Jaeger boys.  Erwin’s death was going to fucking matter.  He was going to keep his promise, he was going to make Erwin proud.  

Levi sometimes wondered if it was possible to hate Zeke more than he did already, and he found that in fact, it was.  His stupid cowardly run out of the forest, his cruel trick of poisoning all of his subordinates— fuck, FUCK!!

He mocked Levi as they fought, mocked him for killing his men, for being so cruel, for— god he hated Zeke, fuck he hated him so damn much.  

It was laughable that Zeke thought Levi wouldn’t be able to kill his own subordinates.  Levi had been indirectly responsible for Erwin’s death for fuck’s sake.  This was nothing.  

**

The water was a shock to the system as it enveloped Levi’s body.  It was freezing, and it was entering his body through the cuts and stab incisions which peppered his skin.  Fuck- fuck, it hurt.  Why had he been so stupid?  Why had he trusted Zeke with a weapon like that?  Erwin never woulda done something like that, Erwin woulda known better, would have stopped him— Erwin— Erwin I’m so sorry—

The current pulled him along and his head was getting light.  A rest… sounded really nice.  He imagined Erwin waiting for him with open arms, imagined watching the world burn from the sky and making up for lost time… but…

Erwin was going to be so disappointed, he was never gonna forgive him.  He’d died so Levi could keep his promise, he— he’d been so brave.

No.  Zeke wasn’t going to win.  Levi wasn’t going to let him, not after all this time, not after everything they’d lost.  He wasn’t going to break his promise.  Somewhere within him his soul was still burning, the aches in his body minor and temporary.  Levi wasn’t going to rest until he’d kept his vow to Erwin.  

He was going to take down the beast titan even if it killed him.  He was going to wipe that smirk off his face, avenge Erwin’s death, keep his vow and then… and then he could stop.   He dragged himself to shore and tried to catch his breath.

‘Just a little longer, Erwin.  I’m so sorry.’

I promised him.  

[cirvat]

Writober- Husky

“This is ridiculous!” Auriel panted dragging a hand down her sword’s blade.

“You’re telling me.” Beside her Kaipo let out pulse after pulse of serenity mostly targeting the enraged water sprite that was currently launching Dorian across the lake. He skipped twice along the water before Chester caught him. The wolf-shaped forest deity snagged the half-drowned man, launching away just in time to avoid the pillar of water that followed them.

“Is there any way you can force the wards smaller?” Auriel turned to the man sitting cross-legged behind her. Minato had the fingers of his left hand plunged into the mud while his right hand hovered in front of his face in a sign of concentration. The solar flare-like streaks coming from his glowing red eyes brightened for a moment.

“No,” the reverberation in his voice was difficult to understand. “It’s taking everything we have to keep it away from the aquifer.”

“Fuck.” She rubbed at her blade harder, trying to keep the gradient of gray to black from spreading. “Come on! Don’t give up on me!”

“I don’t understand why we don’t just kill it.” Minato grumbled, one husky voice overtaking the other.

“Company policy, Shol.” Kaipo sighed, speaking to the god patron directly. “You know that.”

“Guys,” Dorian suddenly screamed as he ducked behind a boulder, “I’m not making any headway with this thing!”

“Gods damn it!” Auriel stood up. “We’re gonna have to call her in.”

“Call Abe first.” Kaipo sent out another pulse. The sprite faltered enough for Chester to launch several tree roots at it. “Her doctor appointment comes first.”

“I know. I know.” Auriel turned away and pulled out her phone. She scrolled through her contact list and clicked on ‘Science Dad.’

The call ringed three times before it was picked up with a soft, “Hello?”

“What’s the status on time?” She winced when gunfire cut over her voice.

“We’re almost done. She just has to finish up some paperwork. Why?”

“We’re calling in back up. The job has gone from a level six to a level five.”

“Give us about thirty minutes.” Abe cut off the call.

Auriel pocketed her phone once more and rounded on her sword. She gripped the hilt tightly and pressed a thumb to the stone at the center. ‘What do you need?’ She thought as hard as she could.

<<Shadow. Parasite.>> The words flashed lightning fast through her mind.

She turned on her heel and stabbed the sword into a tree root. She sent a quick thanks to the tree before taking off toward the lake.

“Dori! Tap out!” She cried. In an instant Dorian threw his gun in the air and dove out of the way. Auriel caught the weapon and opened fire.

“Did you call her?” He shouted, backing away.

“Yep!” She leapt back to avoid the wave of mud and stone that Chester launched forward. “Thirty minutes!”

“Thank fucking Christ!” He turned and sprinted for the safe zone. Auriel cut off the sprite’s attempt to grab him with a spray of iron rounds.

She began concentrating fire on the ball of solid ice in the middle of the sprite’s water form. It was no use in actually getting through the ice, but it distracted enough for Chester to send his roots at it again. The two of them fell into a rhythm of shots and roots or stone. When a soft <<Enough.>> echoed through her soul she almost dropped the gun in her haste to get to her sword.

Dorian snagged the gun and ran back in as she continued into the shadows. It took two good yanks to get the newly blackened blade out. As she sprinted back for the lake shore, she let out a single clear whistle. Chester appeared beside her helping her to climb on before carrying the both of them up a root.

She readied herself and as Chester got to the end of the root, she launched herself off. She dove into the water form and hit the ice with the full weight of her momentum. The cured steel sank a few inched into the ice and she instantly began using it as a prybar. The water around her began to heat. She wrenched the blade out just in time for Chester to pull her out.

“Any luck?” Dorian asked when Chester came to stop behind him. A wall of stone and rock gave them cover. Dorian dropped to reload.

“We can get a few inches in, but that thing is solid.” Auriel gasped, a shiver running up her spine while her shirt clung to her.

“Shit.” He snarled. He glanced up to say more but froze looking over her shoulder. “Oh, thank you.”

Auriel glanced over in time to see a young woman step out from the tree line. Lily gently picked her way across the shore, her pink sundress ruffling in the wind. The stone shield dropped as she passed. She finally stopped just at the waterline and as a wave came up to encase her, she raised a hand.

Everything froze.

“There’s no need for this.” Her soft voice carried across the shore. Her fingers curled and the water dropped. She pulled her arm back and the ice shattered. She held her hand out, palm open, and the creature that had been encased drifted over to her.

The sprite didn’t even shiver despite its apparent effort to break Lily’s hold.

“Minato.” Lily turned, watching the man jog to her with a bottle in his hands. She slipped the sprite inside and smiled as he began whispering sealing spells.

She turned just in time to get tackled to the ground by her brother.

“God damn, Lil!” Dorian squeezed her shoulders. “Your sense of timing is so fucking good!”

“Hi Dori.” She ignored the dirt pressing into her braid and hugged him back. “I’m glad you’re ok.”

“Fuck, Ms. Lily.” Auriel sighed as she sat beside them. “I could kiss you right now.”

“O-oh! I! Um!” Lily’s face flushed bright red.

“My many and various gods,” Kaipo groaned as he wandered over to collapse in Auriel’s lap, “you have no idea how much my brain hurts.”

“I’m so sure at least one of my ribs is cracked.” Dorian rolled over to let Lily sit up.

“So! Who am I driving to the ER?” Abe loomed over them with a grin.

“Give us, like, five minutes, my guy.” Auriel sighed. Chester nuzzled under her arm, resting his head on top of Kaipo’s.

“I could really go for some fries right now.” Minato sat and leaned on Auriel; the bottle cradled in his lap. He eyes had stopped glowing and his voice was now singular.

“Me too.” She patted Kaipo’s head. “All those in favor of lunch first?”

Everyone but Abe and Lily groaned.

“All opposed?”

“I really think-,” Abe started.

“The groans have it. Lunch first, then ER.”

[spacedriftingqueen]

Requested by: @katiekittybones “FemxReader heads out to hunt big animals, Arthur worries and stalks her. He soon realises that she can handle herself and goes to leave by she sneaks up on him”

AN: I kinda changed things up a little cause I lost train of thought while watching TV

Warnings: Language *blows kiss*

Pairings: Arthur Morgan x Reader

Word count: Just under 3K!!!

“Where you goin?”

Arthur asked as he walked, well ran over to your horse. You turned back and he had a look of worry on his features. “Micah kicked me out.” His features changed from worried to ‘where is he and let me kill him.’ “I’ll be damned before that happens.” He moved to begin taking your stuff from your horse when you yelled for him to stop. “Arthur-“ he took hold of your rifle from its holster. “Arth- I was, am messing with you.” You snatched it from his hands before he went and shot the stupid man. He turned his head slightly to the right, as if he couldn’t hear you properly. “Then where you going? Why’s all your shit on the horse? You leaving us?” He fired out a bunch of questions that exasperated you. You liked Arthur but just sometimes he got a little worked up and worried over the slightest thing when it came to the girls and you. He often did secret runs into town to get new clothes and cotton for the women when it came to bleeding, it embarrassed him endlessly but he did it.

“Hear the locals talking bout some big animals in the woods and then I saw you walk into camp with that stupid bear hat and all that meat and the stories from Hosea about a giant bear, that you killed.” You poked his chest nearly breaking your finger, he’s harder than a rock. “I want piece of the action. Charles has been teaching me how t’hunt for weeks now-“ Arthur went to open his mouth, to protest no doubt. “You ain’t been around to notice so don’t start telling me that ‘am a woman and I can’t handle it’ cause right now, I’d rather be chasing some animal than stuck in camp.” You placed your hand on his jawline, he really needed another shave. “Don’t look worried, god. You wear that look so much am starting to think it’s permanent.” Arthur sank into your hand for only a moment then straightened back up letting you hand fall from his face. “What if something goes wrong?” He questioned quietly, very uncertain about you leaving.

“Then burk will come back to camp without me and you’ll find my rotten body in the woods.” You smiled but Arthur frowned. “Naw girl, that ain’t funny. Just cause Charles taught ya’ how to follow a rabbit doesn’t mean you are ready for chasing the big dogs up in the wilderness. If the weather don’t get you, the animals will. If the animals don’t get you then a trap will or, huh whatever. It’s doesn’t matter cause you ain’t going.” You scowled at Arthur, I mean really scowled and he tried to walk backwards away from you before he got a broken nose. “We’ll excuse me sir but the lil’ woman of camp wants to play with the big boys. Move out ma way Morgan and don’t wait up for me getting back.” You stormed away from him and climb up on burk and took hold of the reins, “Don’t go fretting none. Don’t go following me, I’ll be alright and back in a few days.” And you left, taking the trail on the right before he could even think about stopping.

A few minutes had went by, Arthur had his hands on his hips and nose tipped to the sky as he counting to himself while tapping his foot. “Don’t do it man.” John warned walking past carrying some chopped logs. “Don’t follow or you might end up being the target.” Arthur scoffed at John, “What do you know bout it lunch meat?” This time John scoffed. “Screw off Morgan. I may be lunch meat but least I ain’t a chicken, scared and shit to let a girl out my sight.” The men both scoffed back and forth at one another, a few eyerolls. “Imma just check on her, that’s alright. I can follow her for a few then head back.” John chucked the logs to side and wiped his hands down. “Why though? Just leave her be. She’s grown.” Arthur went to grab John just as Dutch stepped in.

“Woah boys. What-“ he laughed, “What are we doing here?” Arthur let go of John coat, shoving him back. “Arthur won’t let (y/n) breathe.” Dutch looked about for you and frowned. “Where is she?” He is confused, what was this argument even about? “She told me that Charles had been taken her hunting’ and she wanted to find a big animal like the bear Hosea and me saw.” Arthur tapped on his chest, waving his arm out as he spoke. Dutch didn’t laugh, he didn’t chuckle, he scowled deeply. “Charles has been here less that you have Arthur my boy, I don’t see how he’s been teaching her.”

He felt stupid, stupid that he let you fool him and lie straight to his face. He was not impressed, “Arthur, you get that girl and you bring her back. She could get hurt or worse.” He didn’t need telling twice, heading for the hitching post he climbed on his horse listening to John bitching about how you are a big girl that can handle herself, she wasn’t going to be impressed about Arthur coming to the rescue but you are so stubborn that you can’t see you need rescuing.

_________________________________________

It didn’t take him long to track you down, he followed you through strawberry and right into the hills of West Elizabeth, it felt like he had been following you for days, he would be a liar if he said he wasn’t impressed by the way you chase after a damn baby boar, he had let out a laugh when he saw you failing to use the bow and threw it away and dived into the bushes for the little beast, it made entertaining viewing, he hid back in the trees as you made a stop and tried to lead your horse to the water, Arthur pulled out his map and found you are at Owanjila lake. He urged to do a spot of fishing but held back, “stupid fool.” He muttered to himself, ‘you can lead a horse t’water but you can’t make it drink it.’ pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up as you had a conversation with Burk like you expected him to talk back. Something had spooked some birds in a nearby bush, sending them flying and squawking into the air. One puff of the cigarette and he tossed it away into a muggy puddle, it hissed quietly. “There boy.” He patted his horse as it got a little antsy and banged its hoof into the dirt. Pulling out his rifle, he had you covered from a distance looking to see what disturbed the birds from nesting.

Arthur hopped it wasn’t a bear, or worse. A cougar. He’d had many run ins with them over this end of the country, spooking his horse like silent devils until they ponce and try and take you down. He couldn’t see anything from the scoop nor his naked eye, he licked his lips and took another look, again he saw nothing. He watched from afar as you pulled your blade out, stalking through the tall grass, you saw something that he didn’t. He hopped off his horse, taking the rifle. Just in case, as he creeped far behind you hiding behind a large boulder that covered his large frame, Burk sensed him and made a noise which caused (y/n) to look back. Arthur sucked in a breath, trying to make himself as small as he could, he felt ridiculous for hiding from a girl, he felt even worse for spying on the girl. Peeking from behind the stone, he frowned as to where you had gone.

He stood up and tipped his hat a little while scanning the area. He really didn’t want to chase about after you no more, he had over 10 years on you and he was tired. Arthur had to admit it to himself, you are okay out here and can handle things so far so he figured he’d go back home and tell Dutch a lie about how he couldn’t find you. “Why don’t you drop the weapon sweetheart, you’ll only get hurt.” Arthur went tight and stiff as the barrel of a gun was push up against the bottom of his skull. He smirked, holding his hands up to the height of his shoulders.

“You sure bout this? Seems like a mistake.” He slid his rifle from His shoulders and tossed it gently to the ground so it didn’t go off. “A mistake on your behalf.” He all but growled, the barrel is dug harder into his skin making him move forward only so slightly but he wasn’t scared. The barrel was removed from his head and pushed into his lower back, “any sudden movements and ill blow a hole in you. Ya’ hear?” Arthur nodded as he went along with this, a hand wrapped around his body, first it went for his knife then his revolver. Both weapons tossed beside the rifle “What you got for me beautiful?” The voice asked, hand stifling into his pockets and rustling around. “You think am beautiful?” He played. The gun was pushed harder into his spine, he felt it through his coat. He smiled to himself, catching you out.

The hand disappeared from his body, along with the barrel to his back. “You carry such shit around Morgan.” He finally let his arm drop and turned around, you popped a sweetie from his pocket into your mouth and sucked on the hard boiled candy. “Well hello to you too darlin’ if I knew I was gonna be robbed I would have left a nugget for your hard work.” You hit him in the arm with the butt of your rifle, hard. “What was that for?!” He took the gun from your hands pulling you forward only to knock you back while hitting you in the arm with it making you winch and hold it. “Jeez Arthur, you hit the bone. Least I ain’t being all stalker and following you bout like some dog. Fuck off, go on.” You took the rifle back, “git gone.” You cocked it and held it up to your eyeline, aiming for right in between his eyes.

Arthur put his hands up, again but walked forward just as a small drop of rain landed on his nose. The barrel pointed between his eyebrows, right against his temple and he showed no fear. “Do it sweetheart.” The heavens had opened, one large cloud had formed and rain began pelting down. “C’mon (y/n) do it. I followed you out here cause a though you were just a weak girl so do it.” enraged about just being ‘a girl’ you are more than that, you aren’t a pot washing for Pearson, a grab at thing for Bill or Micah, a storyteller for jack, a cleaner for John, a sweetheart for Dutch or an ear hole for the women. You are you, a fearless woman. Pulling back the rigger, it clicked loudly making you jump. Arthur smiled a large grin showing off his teeth for once, he opened up his left hand that he held in the air as the rifles cartridges fell to the ground.

“You.” You looked at the gun. “You took my ammo. How- you son of a whore.” Arthur raised his hand back, you flinched and turned your head expecting a slap. He just laughed as he put it down, spitting out water than landed in his mouth. “If you wanna be seen as more than just a girl, don’t flinch. Stand strong.” You spat rain water back at him and stormed off, he followed of course. “Why are you here Arthur? To make me look like a fool? To run back to Dutch to say that I failed and died.” The last part wasn’t a question but more of a statement, he wanted to see you fail. He wanted to go back and laugh about.

You headed back to Burk. Arthur didn’t bother to pick up his weapons, he was more focused on you right now and how great you looked soaking wet, he knew you are angry, he could see the steam coming from your skin in the cold rain. “Naw so just hold up little woman.” His whole hand wrapped around your forearm, yanking you to a stop. “I came to make sure you didn’t die, since you became a fucking liar. Why lie bout’ Charles teaching you to hunt when he didn’t? I saw ya’ tackle that boar, it was a lil’ skinny but that’s ok cause you are too. These bigger animals you after?” Arthur pushed his chest against yours, the alpha male he became as he puffed out. “They feral, dangerous.” He stripped off his coat, wrapping it around your wet frame. Holding you down from its heavy weight.

Arthur put his hand around the back of your neck, fingers moving to hold your head back to look up at him. “People only take you for guaranteed if you let them, folk at the camp? You need to stand your ground with them. Show them that you aren’t a girl, but a strong young lady.” It’s true, you had to man up well woman up and be tougher like the rest. “We going home now?” Arthur didn’t let go off you, he shook his head. Droplets falling on your face as he did this. “No, not yet. You really want to hunt something big?” You nodded your head, blinking rapidly to get the water out your eyes as rain fell directly on your face. Arthur’s hand slipped from your neck, running down your arm and to your hand as he clasped it with his. “Let’s rest up a while until the rains off. You bring a tent?” You thought for a moment and then nodded. “Of course, didn’t you?” Arthur shook his head this time, tugging at your hand. “I left in such a rush I didn’t pack it.”

“Well wasn’t that stupid?” You let his hand go so he could go get his discarded weapons on the grass as you headed to Burk for the tent before the rain got any worse.

[livingdarwinaward]

Isle of the Lost

I stumbled over the side of the small boat, legs cramped from the days at sea. I stretched, then looked around. “Damn.” The island was creepy, the rocky beach filled with bones, bodies, torn sails, and driftwood from ships. The tidepools glowed with lost souls, and heaps of trash were caught between boulders. I kept my hands on my knives as I walked toward the massive building in the middle of the island, warily eyeing the sirens dotting the beach.

“A shame,” one of the sirens told me. “Had you come in a larger ship, Heran could have added to her hall.” She indicated the building in the middle of the island, clearly made from wrecked ships. “I’d like to at least live up to my grandmother’s legacy.”

“That is exactly why I came in a small boat. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have business with Heran.” I continued walking toward Heran’s hall.

A mermaid stopped her weaving for a moment to smile at me. “You’re clever. I like you.” She kept weaving, hiding her face as she continued, “And between you and me? Take everything she tells you with a grain of sand.”

“Heran?”

The mermaid nodded, and I started walking again, coming up on an actual path, the entrance of which was littered with bits of old statues. I made to step over the pieces, but a stone hand shot up and floated in front of me in the universal ‘stop’ signal. I stopped, wishing I could step around it as the pieces cobbled themselves together into a mostly human form.

“All the missing statue parts of the world and you couldn’t find a nose? Seriously?”

The statue glared at me (somehow, even though not a single change in facial expression) and said, “You seek entrance to Heran’s hall.”

“Yes,” I told it. I sensed spirits, but they felt different than most. Trapped, somehow. Bound. I couldn’t tell how I knew. “Who are you?”

“We are Lost,” a different voice said. The statue crossed its arms, somewhat awkwardly due to the arms being in multiple pieces, and the same voice spoke again. “Do not become Lost yourself.”

Don’t. Don’t take the path. That was a normal spirit, one only I would be able to hear. Apparently sensing my confusion, the spirit continued. If you get lost on the path, you lose yourself, you become Lost. Bound to Heran. It will be worse for you than most, being what you are.

Meaning? I asked it.

You’re a raven, you’ll be tasked with keeping all of the spirits on the island, an enemy of Helcor. The scrap of mist next to me resolved into an image of another raven in human form. Our beloved goddess made that very clear when I was stripped of my cloak.

“Do you wish to pass?” A third voice came from the statue of the Lost.

I looked between the other raven and the statue. “I have to take the risk. I have to find Dicey.” The statue moved aside and I started onto the path.

The second my feet were on the path, ground ahead of me erupted. Sand, pebbles, rocks, and just about everything else launching up to form a city, mud brick buildings decorated with primitive murals.

Okay, now the high possibility of getting lost on the path makes more sense, I thought. I jumped at the voice of the other raven, who’d apparently followed me onto the path. I couldn’t see his face anymore, As he was back to being just a wisp, but I could just feel his grin on me.

What? He asked, Did you think I’d let you go alone? I’m Haloti, by the way.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Pan. Thanks for helping, but no, I really didn’t expect you to,” I said in a rush. “I’m assuming we have to find the hall through this.” I paused. “Whatever this is.”

Lost civilizations, Haloti told me. More than just objects and people can be lost. Heran has a ‘library’ of all lost knowledge and ideas, or so I’ve heard.

“This will be more difficult than I thought.”

It always is with gods. Haloti shivered. We should start looking. Stay together— separating can get one of us lost easier.

“Makes sense.” I stepped forward, and shades appeared, not true spirits, but images is the past. “D’ya think we can ask them for directions?”

Where would we ask for directions to?

“Places with things of value or things that get thrown away, probably.”

Or places of power or importance, Haloti said. If I had my cloak, I’d be able to sense spirit trails and corruption.

“Take mine.” I got ready to unclasp my cloak, dreading the loss. I’d never taken it off, never wanted to lose my identity, but if it came down to Dicey, I’d do it.

Haloti changed back from his wispy most to his own form, just to give me a look. Are you kidding? He asked, as near to shouting as a spirit could get. I’m not getting you in trouble, too. The consequences will be more severe for lending it to me of all people.

“Why?”

I was stripped of my cloak for a reason. That’s all I’ll say. I won’t take it.

“Wait.” I pulled up my hood, launched myself into the air, spiraling up and up. I looked out across the maze, and saw Heran’s hall. “Ha.” The hall was somehow more distant than before, and more so than I thought the size of the island would allow. If I could grin with a beak, I would have. I dove back down to the maze and Haloti, who seemed to have figured my plan out. “I think we can just fly over.”

You can. I don’t have my cloak.

“You can’t fly without it even as a spirit?”

Yes.

I paused. I honestly didn’t want to go on without Haloti, as he seemed to know more than I did. “I may have a way you can come with me.”

How?

I scraped my foot against the ground. The hard dirt of the illusion held, so I knelt and pulled out my stylus, drawing a rune on the ground. The illusion melted away, but only where the rune was. Right, I’m dealing with a goddess’s magic here. I drew a circle around the spot where I’d drawn the rune. The illusion in the circle melted a bit, but held. I cursed. Some more trial and error experimentation eventually got me a circle of the actual ground, with a bit of driftwood that was half carved into a dolphin. I held out my hand to Haloti. What should his rune be? “Give me your hand,” I told him.

Haloti looked dubious, but gave me his hand. I thought for a moment, then wrote alone on his hand. “What does that rune mean?” he asked.

“It’s what I’m naming you. That one means alone,” I said as I wrote that rune on the bit of driftwood, surrounded by binding runes. “I’m binding you to this--” I held up the wood “--so that I can bring you along when I fly over.”

Haloti looked even more dubious now. “If you think it’ll work.”

“It should. I’d test it by throwing the wood, but I feel like you’d just end up as a Lost.”

I pulled my hood up, then grabbed the wood in my claws and flew upward. Once the hall was in sight, I flew toward it. I didn’t look down, fearing that if I did, I would get lost. Haloti’s thoughts were loud, but incomprehensible. He seemed worried, but I didn’t focus too hard on him, trying to keep Heran’s hall in sight as it seemed to flicker and shift. Then it vanished. Shit. I dove, trying not to think too hard about how it was ruching up far too fast to account for my own speed. Haloti’s thoughts became a scream in my head, just as we hit the ground.

The impact was delayed. We went through, Haloti said. We’re underground.

I shrugged off my hood, stretching as my body shifted and grew into my human form, then picked up the stick I’d bound Haloti to. “What is this place?” I didn’t expect any true answer, but Haloti was completely silent. I looked over at him. There was no definition to his features, a wisp of soul standing far too still. I could feel the current of unease in his mind. “Haloti?”

This is the Limbo. I didn’t know it became lost after… after I came here.

“‘Here’ being the Isle, I’m assuming?”

Yes. Haloti seemed to turn around, looking at the hazy wisps of trapped souls kept from the after. Have you heard of what happened? Why the Limbo was lost?

“Legend was that the Limbo was sealed to all but the gods, but something happened to lock even them out, so the whole system was lost, but no one was even sure it had ever existed. Many ravens I knew thought it was an old story the gods told to keep us in line somehow.”

It most likely was, but I doubt anyone is told the whole of it. Haloti formed just enough to smile at me, but it was strained. I wouldn’t have— I never knew it ended like this, though.

“You—“ I stopped as I noticed Haloti staring at one soul.

No, not her. That should be— Haloti looked at me. I should explain, he started before another soul caught his attention. I felt a whisper of relief go through him as he looked at it.

“You don’t need to.”

I should. Someone needs to know the whole story.

Leaning on the nearest wall, I gestured for Haloti to go on.

That man, Haloti said, gesturing to the second soul he’d seen, pulled Avi— he gestured to the first soul —into his scheme to bring an army from the Limbo into the world to destroy the gods. Avi was human, one of my closest friends, and when he— a rude gesture was aimed at the second soul —tricked her into helping him, she went to me to borrow my cloak and come here. The Limbo hadn’t yet been sealed, so she got past the barriers and nearly got souls out. My cloak was stripped from me because I’d lent it to Avi, but I was given the option to bring Avi to justice… Haloti trailed off for a bit, and I understood why.

I couldn’t kill her, so I ran. For five years. I knew someone else would be sent, but I couldn’t bring myself to betray Helcor so completely. I didn’t realize Avi’d ended up here. I’d heard the Limbo had been sealed, but not that it’d been lost.

“Why’d you come here?”

I heard somewhere that cloaks that we’re stripped came here. I wasn’t sure if it was true, but I came anyway. I wanted to find my cloak. Destroy it. Hopefully then I could escape the shame of letting Avi die.

I stood up. “I doubt that’ll work, but you can try. Now let’s try to find our way to Heran.”

Haloti nodded. Yes. Perhaps some souls may know.

We had to be careful to find a soul who wouldn’t trick us, but we could only do so much to ensure that we followed a trustworthy one. Haloti advocates for Avi, but I argued that she would be the obvious choice and may give the wrong directions.

You have a point. Haloti said as we left the room we’d been in to explore the catacombs further. As we followed the voices of souls, we went deeper, even as we never picked one.

Suddenly light broke out and we found ourselves in front of Heran’s hall. The door looked ancient, ornate.

“We come to deal with Heran,” I said.

The door swung open. When Haloti and I entered, we were faced with a maze. Heaps of things that had been lost forced us to have to find our way through, and when we could see the walls, ancient artifacts— probably priceless— were hung up or on shelves. We eventually found our way to the back, where Heran herself lay, her long tail coiled over the ground and around swords, bones, stones and other ancient, lost treasures.

“You come for your cloak,” she said to Haloti. “And you come for your friend. She is not here, little one.”

“I know,” I said. “I come for information. Can you find her?”

“Perhaps, for a price.”

I pulled out my bag, tugging out the bones inside. “Bones of a mermaid who died on land. Her body was lost to the sea, and she rotted like a human.”

Heran grinned, and I fought back a shudder. “How nice,” Heran said, drawing out the phrase. “Yes, this may do. For your request. You, however--” she addressed Haloti now, “--must pay your own price. Think hard.”

Heran turned back to me and beckoned for the skeleton. When I handed it to her, she tucked it behind her, then dragged herself over to a crack in the wall and stuck her head in. something inside began to glow, and I heard Heran chanting.

I looked at Haloti. He hung as a wisp of mist in the air, and I barely heard the whisper of his thoughts, only the faintest trace for me to know that he was thinking, but not enough for me to tell what he was thinking. A sound pulled my attention back to Heran, and I saw her pull her head from the crack, frowning.

“I cannot find your friend,” she said. “She either is not lost or is dead.”

“Or she is lost beyond your reach,” I muttered.

Heran looked at me with raised brows. “How so?”

“She opened a portal to disappear. I’m not sure it was to any place in this world.”

“You think she is in the Rift.”

“Or another world.”

Heran looked at me. “Hope that that is so. You should go to the City of Heroes. There is a way to travel between worlds there, much safer than portals.”

“Thank you.” I bowed, then turned to Haloti. “Would you join me if I asked?”

He materialized, then shook his head. No. I thought of my price. At Heran’s encouragement, he continued. I will give my soul.

“You wish to become Lost?” Heran asked. “Truly a strange request.”

I wish to forget. If that is the way to do so, I will take it. I only ask for my cloak to burn first.

“Haloti--”

“I will grant it.” Heran heaved herself to find the cloak.

The last thing I heard before I found myself back in my boat, the island nowhere in sight, was Haloti.

I’m sorry, Pan.

[paperficwriter]

All That Glitters (BNHA, Fantasy AU, Kiribaku)

I’m sure you’ve noticed that shapeshifting is kind of in my wheelhouse, right? How could I resist?

Dragonboy!Kirishima was very much inspired by @xkumah‘s beautiful, adorable pic of Bakugou getting sweet hugs from scaly boi. Dragon form Kiri was heavily inspired by...well, this guy.

Enjoy! Cut is for length, not for content.

---

“Get back here, you piece of shit!”

Bakugou’s feet barely touched the ground as he sprinted through the woods after the red creature. Bits of grass and dirt stuck to his skin, only making him angrier. Angry at himself for stopping to wash off in the stream, angry at the elk that had bled so much that he had had to stop to wash off in the stream, but especially angry now at whatever the hell had decided to take off with his bone and stone necklace his mother had just given him.

Not that he cared that much about the thing, but she would murder him if he came home without it.

“It’s stupid and gaudy,” he remarked when she put it around his neck. There were several layers to it, with red rocks from the mountains, shiny ocean glass, and what seemed to be bear claws. Okay, that was something he liked. “And heavy.”

She smacked him upside the head. “Don’t be a jerk. You’re old enough to know that you need to start carrying it. What are you going to give your mate when you find them, huh? That raggedy wolf pelt?”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Or maybe one of those boots that smell like horse shit?”

“I get it, woman! Gods, your endless screeching is annoying.”

That had led to a night spent with the hounds. Wouldn’t be the first or the last, though. But if he had gone through all that trouble to now have it stolen by a mangy animal of some sort…

“I’ll fucking kill you!” He had just managed to get his pants back on, but his feet were bare, catching little cuts from the brush and bramble as he tore through it. He hadn’t even managed to get a good look at whatever it was, but he knew a few things: it was quick, had a long tail, and moved on four legs that left taloned marks in the ground beneath its feet. And its skin - not fur, that he knew from how the sun shone down on it as it slipped through the thicket - was a rich crimson. Maybe he could make a leather from it…

When the woods opened to a clearing, Bakugou figured this could be his best opportunity, because there was only a short distance before a cliff that dropped a quarter of a mile. He grinned savagely. “Okay,” he said, pulling his knife from his belt, pausing only when the animal turned, and he realized what he was dealing with.

It was the smallest dragon he had ever seen, with short legs and a stocky, muscular body. It blinked at him with wide eyes that shone like garnets, and it flicked at the treasure hanging from its mouth with a small pink tongue. “Drop it,” he ordered, because now that he has seen what it was, he knew he couldn’t just kill it like any other beast. It was a commonly accepted tradition that hurting a dragon - let alone killing it - could bring great misfortune, since they were considered wise and ancient creatures of the earth.  

But then the so-called “sacred” being tossed its head back and swallowed Bakugou’s necklace like a damn bird with a worm, and Bakugou lost any sense of cautionary tales.

“That’s it!” Taking off at a sprint, he dove at the dragon, tackling it. He tried to bring his knife down at his flank, and the shock ran all the way up his arm. It was like stabbing a boulder, a hissing, kicking boulder. Bakugou jumped back to his feet, but as he did, he failed to take into account the massive tail until it had struck him in the middle, knocking the air out of him and blowing him back several feet.

But instead of hitting the ground, he bounced. Right over the edge of the cliff.

The wind whipped around him as he fell, head over heels, his limbs flailing, no telling which way was up or down. He reached out for the rocky face as it blurred at his side, but it only succeeded in cutting his arm. Too fast. Way too fast.

Bakugou squeezed his eyes shut. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening.

Yet, it was.

And then, something else entirely was happening. A whistle by his ear, and then he hit a surface other than the ground, and for a second it seemed like the inside of his body was still being pulled by gravity. He chanced opening his eyes slightly, and all he could see was red. And then he heard and felt the thrumming of wings, of muscles moving beneath him, and the reality made itself known: he wasn’t dead. He was flying. On a dragon. On the dragon.

It was only a few more seconds until they landed, and when he put his feet on the ground, his knees buckled. They had arrived at the base of the cliff, and when he looked up at it, the edge where he had started seemed too far away to see clearly.

That had been too close.

“Fuck,” he gasped, gulping down a few more breaths. When he glanced up, the dragon crouched on the grass in front of him, staring at him cautiously, as if it was expecting him to attack again. Perhaps he had been too shocked to let go, but Bakugou realized he still had the knife in his hand.

Slowly, he set it on the ground between them.

And damn if the dragon didn’t take that too.

“The hell?!” Bakugou snapped, but instead of running away again, the creature trotted past him and wriggled into a bush by a rock. Bakugou followed him, finding a small hole that dropped into a cave beneath, cool and silent but for the trickle of water that had made its way from a spring deeper in the plateau and collected in a pool.

The hoard - if it could be called that - was in a bed-sized pile in the center. But instead of gold and jewels, there were fairly common items: many river stones, a broken saucer, a few coins that were more pocket change than treasure, a pot lid, a mirror, a polished chain. Perhaps the most unique item was a sword, which the dragon nosed at to make room for Bakugou’s knife, and then…

“Fucking gross!” Bakugou protested as the dragon arched its back and threw up the necklace like a cat expelling a hairball. It was covered in a film of saliva, but it seemed satisfied as it placed it around a garden statue. The massive beast moved a few more of the items with its tail before it sat on top of the collection of flotsam and puffed its chest out. “I don’t know what the hell you’re so damn happy about. This is the shittiest hoard I’ve ever seen.” The dragon made a noise. “Did you just growl at me?”

It got up and walked back toward him, and Bakugou bent his knees, ready if it tried to snap at him, but it didn’t. However, it did stand up on two of its leg, the shape of it morphing and changing, and then...it wasn’t a dragon anymore. Not exactly, anyway.

“I said it’s not shitty!” The young man who now pouted in front of him, arms crossed over his chest, still wouldn’t exactly be what Bakugou would call “human.” His tanned skin was still scattered with red scales in places, especially down his arms, and the frill around his head had become vibrant hair, pointed ears and two sizable horns. And with his still-present tail and wings, Bakugou couldn’t help wondering what the point of this form would be, because there was no way he could pass for being a normal person. “I’m still working on it.”

“Do you even have any gold?”

“Yes!” He turned back to the pile and moved things around, producing several shiny rocks flecked with yellow. “Look!”

Bakugou smirked. “That’s pyrite, you idiot.” He was surprised how immediately he regretted saying it, because his face fell, and Bakugou wondered if today would mark another first: seeing a dragon cry. He pointed at the sword. “That’s pretty cool, though, I guess. And there could be gold in the pommel. If you cleaned it up.”

“Really?!” Immediately, the sad expression switched to one of absolute glee. “I thought so too! But I don’t want to damage it. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Did you steal all of this?”

“Steal?” A small laugh and a tilt of his head. “I found them, if that’s what you mean.”

“Uh. You stole my necklace. And my knife.”

“You gave me your knife,” he pointed out. “And I found the necklace.” Bakugou glared at the very pointed way that he didn’t say it was his necklace.

“And the fact that I was running after you when you took it wasn’t any indication that I still wanted it?”

“I thought we were playing!” The man grinned, showing off sharp, pointed teeth.

“I tried to stab you!”

“I knew you couldn’t get through my hide.” His smile faded. “I didn’t mean to knock you over the cliff though. I’m sorry. I got a little too excited, and you got hurt.”

Bakugou noticed for the first time that blood was still dripping from the cut on his forearm. When he looked up again, he startled a bit, because the dragon boy had stepped up close to him, peering at it. His eyes had stayed the same...or it felt like it, at least. Before he could stop him, he grabbed Bakugou’s hand and licked the wound.

“The fuck are you doing?!” Bakugou shoved his face, but he held on, swiping it again with his slightly pointed tongue. “Get off!”

Finally, he did, and when Bakugou went to wipe his arm against his pants, he was surprised to find that the wound had closed entirely. Once the blood was rubbed away, it was like the skin had never been broken. The man grinned at him again. “The elders always say not to eat humans because they taste bad. But you taste pretty good!”

Bakugou’s face went red, and he shouldered past the strange creature and reached down to retrieve his necklace. “You might have thought you found this, but it’s mine, so I’m taking it back.”

“All of it?” There was that pitiful expression again, and he gestured with a black, pointed nail at one of the sticky threads.

“Yes, all of it!” He sighed at how disappointed he looked, and finally he removed the piece with the knotted sea glass, placing it back in the pile. It wasn’t like a dragon understood the implications, and his mother probably wouldn’t ask about it. He hoped. He considered taking the knife too, but that was more easily replaced, and he did kind of owe it to him for not letting him become a smear on the forest floor. “Fine. Here. Happy?”

He was. “Thanks!”

“Quit smiling like that.”

“Like what?” It only brightened, and then he was once more in Bakugou’s personal space, wrapping his arms around him, his tail snaking around his ankles. An odor like sulphur and burning leaves tickled Bakugou’s nose, and he stood awkwardly, not sure what to do. Was he…hugging him? “I’ve seen humans do this when they like one another. Am I doing it right?”

“It’s...okay.” Bakugou paused. “It’s not usually this long, though.”

“Oh.” He let go. “I’m Kirishima. What’s your name?”

Could he tell a magical creature his name? Wasn’t there some rule when it came to that, about them being able to bind someone if they knew their true name? Maybe just his family name would be sufficient. “Bakugou.”

“You’re going to come back, right, Bakugou?”

“How the hell could I do that? Don’t know if you noticed, but I nearly died getting here. I can’t exactly climb down easily.” Come to think of it, he didn’t know how exactly he was going to get back to the village now either...

Kirishima’s face scrunched up as he thought, then he clapped his hands together. “We can meet at that stream! Would that work?” Realization dawned on his face. “Do you want me to fly you back there?”

Fly him…? “No. I can make my own way.” He climbed back out of the hole by the bush, staring up into the sky, which glowed pink and orange as the sun slowly descended toward the horizon. Kirishima followed close behind him.

“Are you sure? It’s a half day’s hike up the side of the cliff, and then you have to climb up, and it’s really sheer…it would be quicker and easier! I don’t mind!”

Bakugou frowned at his sincerity, still wary. But to be frank, the thought of trying to make his way back up the incline did not seem appealing, especially since it was late in the afternoon now. “Whatever. Do what you want.”

Bakugou was going to have to learn quicker that he needed to be more direct with Kirishima, because no sooner had he said it than he found himself lifted into his arms and they were airborne. And Bakugou would never say that he yelped, but he certainly was surprised, and he wrapped his arms around Kirishima’s neck as he watched the ground disappear. “It’s okay!” Kirishima called over the wind. “I won’t let you fall! I promise!”

Every bone in his body screamed that he shouldn’t believe him. But he did.

And maybe that was why when he was finally on solid ground again he was willing to agree to see him again. “Tomorrow, then!”

Even if he was annoyingly eager. “Tomorrow.”

[funkymeihem-fiction]

Chapter 11

Camp was broken and packed away in record time, thrown haphazardly into the van as Roadhog’s bike roared off to lead them out of the canyon, Junkrat taking the wheel of the van yet again while Mei was sprawled out on the dirty floor in the back of the van, battered paper maps and notes spread around her as her phone continually blared out updates, a holographic topography map flickering above it, numbers scrolling and sections of the sky occasionally lighting up. Snowball was set fully to surveillance mode, even its emoticon eyes and personality programs shut down as the little drone sat motionless. It unnerved Mei a bit to see her normally cheerful companion suddenly so ‘lifeless’, but there was nothing for it. She was only getting half signals, if that, with Snowball’s capabilities blocked in by the rocky walls, and the incoming data was a confusing mish-mash she was struggling to decipher properly.

“How we doing back there, darl? What’s the scoop?” Junkrat sent the van flying over a divot in the road with a bump, sending Mei sliding across the floor as she tried to keep her materials still.

“Still working on it! Once we get into a more open area I should be able to get a better idea.”

“Well once we clear through here, we’re out in the wasteland proper and won’t have much choice on where we can go. Red zone ain’t exactly known for its highway upkeep, ya know, and this thing won’t make it over sand.”

“Well the map said we should be able to reach the drop point by late this afternoon. Once we move away from the cliffs, Snowball should be able to read a bit better. I can’t pinpoint where the storm is or how big it is right now, we need to keep going.”

“You’re the boss, boss!” He pressed his boot down on the gas a little harder, and Mei promptly skidded the other way on the floor as they careened over another bump.

She continued compiling her notes and Snowball’s updates. Her brows knitted slightly, watching the numbers on her display change. Throwing herself back into the front seat once more, she rolled down her window and hung her entire upper body out, trying to get a better view of the sky. “Oh dear…”

“…What’s oh dear? You shouldn’t be oh dearing anything.”

“I think it’s going to be coming in from the south, southeast. It’s coming in from behind, to our right.”

“Behind us? See, I told ya those storms was some evil omnic shit, now they’re chasing us!”

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t put Snowball in a trash can because it was trying to help you, we’d have more of a head start!” She held the little robot out the window as much as she dared, until only the tops of her thighs were resting on the rolled-down window, holding Snowball up to try and get a better reading.

One long arm launched out and snagged Mei by the bottom of her shirt, the other still clenching the wheel as he held her steady from falling out. “Oi, ONE TIME! Never gonna let me live that one down?!”

“I want to let you live it down, if we live!” She was pulled back inside abruptly as they went through another narrow portion of the canyon, the van rattling and bumping, mechanical parts squeaking as she dove back into the cargo to check on the equipment. “Hope whoever was at Lucky’s Station got out in time, it probably went right over them.”

“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of blokes,” Junkrat grumbled.

Mei didn’t answer him, already back to dangling out of the window as she waved her little robot around in the air almost as if she was praying. The absolute madwoman. The junker sighed, once again grabbing at her to keep her in check, this time snagging the elastic of her leggings and pulling them taut as she leaned out. With his eyes on the road, he didn’t even get the chance to really enjoy what sort of panties she was wearing or anything.

“Ugh,” he sighed. “Why am I always the responsible one around here?”

The rocky cliff faces were beginning to get shorter and the road was widening again as they continued on. The only time they even afforded a pause was to stop and dump another canister of gas into the tanks. Even then, there was an eerie breeze coming from behind them, whistling through the passes and tunnels, and there was a drop in pressure that always heralded a coming storm, along with Junkrat’s whining that it made his missing leg hurt.

The canyons finally gave way to open land, cliffs becoming larger, more scattered boulders as they shot free, back into the desert proper. Before them stretched miles upon miles upon miles of orange-red sand dunes, stark against the harsh blue of the sky, but blurred in the middle where sandstorms constantly blew dust to obscure the horizon. Very far off, so far she could only make it out as specks of white and gray amongst the red, were large and twisted metal structures that she knew to be debris from the ruined omnium. The omnium itself had been absolutely massive when it was still functioning, miles upon miles of omnic-made factory architecture. Even as far away as she was, she knew those derelict metal bits must have been equally massive, probably several stories tall on their own. The explosion must have been unimaginable to rip such structures apart on that scale. There had even been reports of irradiated metal shards landing out in the ocean, killing whatever had lived around them and resulting in the northern waters being dotted with ‘dead zones’, the underwater versions of the great desert. Australia had truly been nearly destroyed from it all, and had never really recovered.

They passed a weather-beaten sign that had originally been painted red and white, warning them of high radiation levels and unpredictable environmental dangers. They had included a lot of skull and crossbones symbols for emphasis. Mei returned to her seat to get a better look, holding onto her rattling glasses. The roads here had never been properly paved, and consisted of little more than stamped-down dirt and bits of gravel amongst the sand.

“Ya know,” Jamison remarked conversationally, “Not my first time past the red zone.”

“Oh?”

“Yep. Got real desperate and real brave one day, thought I’d go poke around and see if I could dig anything up what was worth a damn.”

“How far did you get? Didn’t you know about the radiation? We’re barely into it at all and Snowball’s giving us radiation warnings,” she pointed to her phone.

“Wasn’t thinking so much about the radiation so much as how fuckin’ hungry I was. So, I figured I’d go a bit further than usual, where nobody else wanted to go, see if I could find anything.”

“Did you? Find anything, I mean?”

He grinned at her, teeth baring. “Yeah.”

She was still tapping at her phone. “Well? What did you find?”

“Secret! Eeheeheehee!”

She halted, giving him somewhat of a stink-eye. “Why did you even bring it up, then! That’s mean.”

“That’s for ol’ Jamison to know and for you to get your curiosity romantically peaked to find out! What does he have? What does he know? What’s he all about? You feel that curiosity, love, that stirrin’ in your loins that makes you wanna know more? I’m a puzzle you just got to solve. I’m an enigma, Mei.”

She covered her face with her palm, laughing slightly. “Not sure ‘enigma’ is the word I’d use.”

“Oi! That’s cold. You stick around with me long enough, maybe one day I’ll show you me treasure.”

“Stop being lewd, Jamie.”

“No, no! I mean, literally, my treasure! What I found in th-”

The phone shrilled out another ear-splitting alert call and Mei jumped, juggling her phone in both hands before turning it right-side up and scrolling through the new data. “Ahh! Okay, Snowball’s got a better signal now, the storm’s…” Her voice trailed off as she surveyed the new measurements, face going slightly gray. Holding her bun with one hand to keep her hair from her eyes, she stuck herself back out the window, turning around to look behind them.

Junkrat glanced to his mirror, did a double-take, and then stared, the van slowing down and stopping as he eased his foot off the pedal. “…Hooley dooley…Yep, that’s a big’un.”

Behind them, with the rocks of the canyonlands still visible on the horizon, crested an enormous cloud. Mei had seen storms before. She had seen hurricanes ripping houses out of the ground like picking weeds, snowstorms that had leveled entire forests, and hail ice-stones the size of softballs. She had never seen anything like this. The cloud was creeping over the cliff tops like a living thing, rolling in like a tide, circulating and undulating and clawing forward, growing larger and larger, forward and forward and up and up and up…The tops of the clouds were deep black, fading down into swirling spirals of poisonous bright red, tinged with greens and purples and yellows and unnatural colors she’d never seen, like the breeze she had seen days back in the valley but far worse. The breeze had been little more than the dying breath of one of these types of storms…and this one was very much alive.

Lightning crackled in its depths, lighting up chartreuse and violet as it flashed through its own choking dust. And despite its immense size, it was still too far away to hear its thunder. It was a spectacle, silent and forboding, a portent of doom that ate the lines between land and sky as it advanced steadily, with no signs of stopping. It couldn’t even be said to be a force of nature. Nature had never made such a thing before. This was something unnatural, something purely monstrous, born from the hatred of omnic and man. No wonder so many feared these storms. For many Australians, she knew, this would be one of the last things they ever saw.

She found herself reaching out, not even sure for what, dumbfounded as she stared. She needed an anchor, something to bring her back, and found it when Junkrat’s mechanical hand grasped hers, once more pulling her back into her seat. He was no longer grinning, sitting her down firmly and pointing to where Roadhog was impatiently revving his engine up ahead, also staring at the incoming red storm.

“C’mon, Mei, that’s one of them, and it’s coming in right quick. Tell us what t’do.”

She reached up, patting her cheeks roughly as if the sting would put her head right again. “Keep going down this road. We definitely can’t go back now, so keep going forward. There’s going to be a crosscurrent just after the drop-point for the eco-station. It’ll send the storm westward and should keep us clear. Might get some dust on us and the radiation’s still an issue, but we’ll miss the brunt of it if we can reach the rocks and take shelter from the downdraft. I think. Probably. Snowball’s having trouble keeping up with these storm readings, and what I do get is very confusing. This is…I’ve never seen this before.”

“Welcome to Australia, mate,” he replied glibly, rolling down his window and yelling the new instructions to Hog, who turned and took the lead once more.

The van kicked back into high gear, shambling down the road after the other junker. Mei was still busy with her attempts to decipher the chaotic wind current readings Snowball was picking up everywhere in the atmosphere. Little wonder that no aircraft could fly over the continent anymore. Everything above them was utter madness. Occasionally she’d stop and look back at the oncoming red storm. It had eaten the cliffs, tumbling over and through them and had now reached the sand plains they were driving on, still flashing with radioactive lightning that was now accompanied by the distant rumble of thunder, happening so fast and so frequently that it was almost growling.

Junkrat was gnawing anxiously at a piece of jerky, not even eating it so much as just chewing on it, like his rodent namesake. Mei was checking over her topography map once again, scrawling out math on one of the papers on her lap. “So here’s the plan. We just keep this speed up until we reach the drop. We’ll pass the drop, shelter behind the rocks here, and then the storm system should head west and out of our path. Everything behind it will follow it once the front shifts, and then we can just double back, set up the station, and head back out.”

“You got it.” He seemed a little calmer, taken in by her confident demeanor and his trust in her. He even started cracking jokes again as they rode along, passing sand-scoured boulders and twisted hunks of useless scrap metal on both sides.

It was a good plan, she thought. Her calculations seemed at least fairly accurate so far. Once they got behind the rocks, they could simply wait an hour or two and then complete their mission. After that, she could connect her phone to the much more powerful station, find out the safest path out, and follow it all the way back to civilization. Iodine pills and a few shots would help with the radiation poisoning. Then, she could have her awkward talk with Junkrat, console him with a barbecue meal and one of his favorite bobas, and then she could take at least a dozen showers in a row. Nice, cold showers, with high pressure water, and soap and shampoo, and a proper bed with cozy blankets, and mindless television to fall asleep to. It was a good plan.

They were still hours out from the drop point when there was a screech and then a popping noise from the engine, something mechanical hitting something else mechanical, which hit something else and then was caught between the gears of something else, as thick black smoke started to pour from the hood. Both driver and passenger wore expressions of dull shock as the vehicle shuddered and rolled to a stop. Roadhog immediately doubled back and pulled over, and both junkers set upon the smoking engine with a fervor, Junkrat beating back flames with one of the blankets as Hog stuck his arms into the still-burning engine block, tools scraping and clicking as they desperately tried to figure out what had gone wrong.

Mei stood uselessly out to the side, Snowball’s lifeless little metal body held in both arms and phone blaring louder and louder as she stood staring at the massive tempest roaring across the desert at them. This couldn’t be happening. The van wasn’t supposed to break down. It had gotten them this far. It couldn’t break down now, not literally in the middle of the wasteland. Junkrat must have been pushing it too hard. Because she had told him to. Because if they had slowed down, the storm would have caught them and they would have died. And now they had blown the engine, the storm would catch them, and they would die.

She turned Snowball’s self-pilot back on. No weather calculations were going to help them now. She watched the junkers arguing, taking things apart and putting them back together, hopping back into the driver’s seat and trying the key, only to yell that nothing was working and starting from the beginning. And with every passing minute, the snarling of the clouds was growing louder and the chaotic face of the red storm was getting closer, the winds fleeing the front as sand went skittering past them.

“Can you fix it?” she asked softly, as Junkrat went scuttling by with a wrench in both hands.

“Hog says the connecting rod’s fucked. It’s bad. He’s trying a thing, but-”

“No. No, it’s too risky. I’m calling it here. We need to go, now.” she shook her head.

“Nah, love! Just, just give us a minute, Hog’s fixed all sorts of crazy shit! We can still…we can still-”

“We don’t have minutes! I’m calling the mission, we need to get ourselves out. Leave the equipment. We can use Roadhog’s bike. I’ll sit on your lap, or behind him-”

Roadhog sighed in resignation, rubbing his hands as he turned his mask’s lenses to the flashing red clouds on the horizon. “No.”

She felt her breath seize. They were running out of precious time and needed to leave. “No? Why no?”

“Bike can’t carry three people, the sidecar, and enough gas to keep us going on dirt. We’ll be scoured alive once it reaches us.” He wheezed another heavy sigh.

She put both hands to her forehead, trying to stave off the numbness of oncoming panic. “…Take Jamison. They won’t blame you. Overwatch already has contingencies set for the event of a casualty. I’ll see if…maybe I’ll have a few minutes to set up the eco-station before I-”

“Mei. It ain’t happening.” Jamie looked away, spitting into the dirt.

Mei turned to Snowball, who was repeating its ‘sweatdrop’ nervous face over and over again. “No! No, you can still- Snowball! Do two passengers have time to make it to event location X?”

The little bot uttered its ‘sad’ beep.

Her ashen face turned to look to Roadhog, who was watching the oncoming storm in silence. “Does one passenger have time to make it to event location X.”

Sad beep.

She sat down in the sand, hands tangled in her hair. Her mind was racing. She was the mission leader, she was smart, she had them counting on her to get them through. She had to think. There had to be something. What was she good for? Weather calculations? They didn’t need a climatologist to tell them that the red storm bearing down on them was extremely bad news. Navigation? There was nowhere to navigate to in this wasteland, nowhere they could reach in time. Their only vehicles were busted or useless. She was ready, willing even, to sacrifice herself somehow, if it meant her teammates would leave alive. But there was no sacrifice she could make, nothing she could do to help them. “I’m sorry…I’m so, so sorry…”

Junkrat had been galvanized into action as well, and was talking to himself at a mile a minute, his hair flaring up once more as he ran about, tying tarps over the bullet-damaged van’s exterior and draping the insides with blankets, stuffing rags into holes and covering the broken engine. He poised himself behind the van and began literally digging like a dog, hands ripping through the poisoned red sand as he started to try and pile it onto the makeshift shelter. “All right! So it’s gonna come in, it’s gonna hit us and then the red’s gonna start getting in, and it chokes ya so don’t breathe too much of it in! We’re just gonna hide, and we ain’t gonna breathe, and we’re gonna wait until it leaves! Fuckin’ omnics! Fuckin’ bots what did this! I’ll get ‘em, I’ll get every last one, when I get outta here-” Sand continued to fly through the air, the younger junker still mindlessly digging.

Roadhog looked between the two, watching his younger partners melting down in two completely different ways. With one last long glare at the red clouds, he strode forward and picked up the weepy-eyed Mei, holding her against one shoulder before calmly walking over towards the frantic Junkrat, shrugging off his attempts to bite and kick as he snagged him by the scrawny waist and carried him like a thrashing football. Shouldering the van door open, he sat both of them down amidst the mess of cargo in the back before sliding the door closed behind them a final time.

“You sit down,” he commanded, throwing Junkrat back again as he went for the door. Mei also stood up, starting to try and plug up more of the bullet holes, her glasses smeared with tears as she felt two gigantic hands take her around the middle and haul her right back to her spot. “You sit down too. Both of you sit down.”

“There has to be something we can do, there’s always something. We should put on our masks, put the blankets on, something,” Mei sniffled, wiping her glasses on her shirt.

“…It’s not going to matter,” Hog responded gently, slamming a hand on top of Junkrat’s ribcage to keep him in place and away from the door. “Shit happens. Won’t do any good now. So we’re going to sit here, and you say whatever you gotta say while you can say it.”

“I just wish there was something to get you out. I did this to both of you, I got it wrong. I killed…I killed everyone! Again!” She buried her face in her hands.

Part of Roadhog’s forehead wrinkled slightly, hinting at a raised brow. “We both signed on for this. Wasn’t the first time heading into danger in the outback. We knew what it might be. Storm’ll kill us. Not you.” He patiently let Mei burble to herself, twisting Junkrat’s arm a bit as he squirmed. “Isn’t that right, Rat?”

“Eat a dick, Roadie!” Junkrat replied promptly, baring his sharp teeth. Roadhog sighed and bodily sat him upright, turning him towards Mei’s sobbing form. His enraged expression twitched, then slowly fell into something more dour, finally ceasing his thrashing and prompting his bodyguard to finally let go of him. “Oi, Mei. Don’t be like that, you ain’t killed us or nobody. Hey…Hey, c’mon.” Anger turned to concern as he scooted up against her, metal hand pulling her in against his side. “C’mon, don’t cry, please stop crying. You ain’t a cryer.”

Sand began to patter against the metal of the van, and the light flooding in was slowly starting to dim and take on a distinct reddish hue. Mei shook her head, wiping at her face in frustration. “I am, though. I’m sorry. About everything…”

Junkrat gave her a watery half-smile. “Naw, don’t be sorry you crazy li’l bird, we gave it a good fuckin’ shot, we did! Hey, you said earlier this morning that you wanted to talk, right? Well, we’re talking! So, we’re getting all sorts of things done!” He pulled her onto his lap and she let it happen, wrapping both gangly arms around her and rocking her from side to side. Comforting others was not something that happened in the outback. He usually never gave, nor received, comfort, and the awkwardness of his attempts was making him feel a little nauseous. But he’d be damned before he stood by and simply let Mei cry her eyes out as her last acts on earth, so he tried things that he’d seen others do, things his own mum had done in whatever foggy memories he still had. He stroked her hair and made little shushing noises, muttered that it was going to be all right even though it wasn’t going to be, rubbed his hands up and down her arms, and held her as close as he dared.

Thunder reverberated through the van, shaking them to their bones as the distant howl of the wind started to grow louder. But Mei’s crying had abated at least, tucking her head in under his chin with a final shuddering sigh. Only a few days ago she and Jamison had been speaking about death, about the life that had been stolen from each of them, life they would never get to know. That she had a missing past and he would never have a future. Perhaps this was just how fate was. They wouldn’t have to worry about dying old or dying young. They were going to die now, crammed together in this miserable little farce of a shelter as the red storms ripped them apart like it had so many others, that it would do to so many more now that they had failed.

Roadhog sat with his hands draped between his knees, head bowed as his pig mask wheezed softly in the growing darkness. “Mako,” he said. Mei turned her eyes to him, but he didn’t look up. “My real name was Mako.”

“…It was very nice to meet you, Mako,” she replied softly.

“Mm.”

The sand was blowing steadily against the sides of the van now, wind whistling and thunder a non-stop deep roar, and the shrieking train-like noise that she knew was the actual face of the storm as it got nearer and nearer, light flashing from the chaotic electricity storms that would soon be raging over them. Jamison leaned back against one of the cargo boxes, his yellow eyes dull and far-off as he stared blankly at the ceiling, his metal hand slowly tightening around her waist. Mako sat unmoving, facing his fate with the same silent stoicism as he had faced life. Mei was left alone with her thoughts and the rapid booming of Jamie’s heart where her head rested on his chest. It was not that the three of them had never seen death. Mako had died along with his country and his cause, and Roadhog had been born in the ashes. Jamison had seen death too many times to count, had laughed in its face, and then left death bewildered as he ran off to chase after some distraction or other. Mei had also died, been revived and pulled from the silence of her tomb, and now was going to die again. Would it be different? Now she would die by fire and sand instead of ice…

Ice…

Her eyes flew open.

Ice.

She pushed away from Junkrat abruptly, startling him as she wrenched out of his arms and practically somersaulting towards the front seat. Mako glanced up with an exasperated slump of the shoulders and was about to haul her back yet again when she stood up, pulling on her cryo-blaster and fluid canister. She began fumbling with various knobs and dials, sweat glistening on her forehead as lightning lit up the world outside.

Jamison gave her a baffled look. “What’re you doing?”

“Jamie, I need for you to hug me when I say, then Roadh…sorry, Mako, I need you to kneel down as compact as you can get, and hug Jamie.”

The younger junker wrinkled his nose. “I’m all for lovin’ on each other as we go out, here, but-” He didn’t have time to finish as he was dragged from his sitting position, smushed against Mako’s gut. “Ow! What’re you doing, ya drongo!”

“Quiet. Are you sure about this, Mei?”

“No.”

Mei’s mind raced with numbers and measurements as more sand started to blow into the now mostly dark van, coughing aloud as she turned the lever all the way to one side. There was no time for measurements, no time for complexities. She set everything to maximum, to empty out the canister and all back-up cryo-liquid in one go. It was now or never. She dove into the melee of body parts that made up the junkers, squeezing herself against Jamie’s bony chest as Mako knelt down over both of them, pinning the now newly-panicked Junkrat.

“Wait! No, darl! No, I don’t like the cold!”

“Three!”

“Fuck! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck-!”

“Two!”

“I ain’t-”

She didn’t bother reciting the last number, pulling the trigger as bright blue spread outward, encompassing each in turn in one enormous glacier of crystallized and compact ice. All sound became muffled, even the roaring thunder unable to penetrate her shell, nothing except her own pulse…and this time, the two other pulses right next to hers, one frightened and rapid, the other large and booming and steady as ever. Her eyes remained softly closed, and as always, she let herself count down from ten. Only this time, there would be no bursting out of her ice-block to rejoin a battle. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t break this one. Everything had gone into this last-ditch attempt at survival, just like last time. Just like last time, she faintly wondered if she would wake up alone, if the chill would stop those two other hearts in the ice with her…

She counted down to one. No more wondering. No more worrying. No more anything.

She let the cold darkness take her once more.

[nataliesmagicaladventure]

For Posterity

Wow, I bet you guys all forgot that you were following me, this wordy blog that only pops up on your dash once every few months to spew angst. You might not even remember why you followed me in the first place, and are looking at the “unfollow” button as it taunts you, but you’re still kinda curious. Who is this girl (I’m Natalie) and why do I follow her (I used to blog about Disney and the dcp) and how come she only comes and goes from my life when her life is falling apart (I’m selfish)? Well, guys, here’s a long post under the cut about my weekend, with a little bit of back story sprinkled in, if you dare to approach.

Catch Up

Quick background as to what I’ve been up to. I’m still at that same job I’ve posted about hating so much for the last year and a half. Yep. I’ve been there one year and five months now. I cannot even believe it myself. I have the same boss and the same office mate. However, since the start of 2017, our office dynamics have been shifting a bit. The officemate has been sensing my days are numbered since the day I started, but now his days too are numbered. He’s going back to school in the fall so his day, too, are numbered. Also, the three of us (boss, officemate, and I), have been spending some extracurricular time together. We went to a Packer party in January where I got absolutely trashed and made a fool of myself (and the Packers lost). Then on Valentine’s Day, we all started playing Tuesday night trivia together every week. It’s been an experience for sure. It’s become a weekly occurrence for me to have 3-4 beers (always IPAs with higher ABV because I’m human garbage) and then to say one or two things that I definitely regret the next morning and pray that upon walking into the office no one remembers me saying. It’s cool (also humiliating). 

There are some other things that have been building for a while between the officemate and myself. Not sexual tension or anything. He’s in a happily committed relationship and I’m happily so irritated by all human beings that I have no desire to be in any sort of relationship, sexual or otherwise (I’m still working through issues that arose from that one thing that happened to me at a party back in Florida although it’s been like a year and a half but I’m still not huge on being touched in any capacity). But there is a sort of camaraderie. Friendship? I have a friend crush on him, I think. Like, I just want to be apart of his world. 

Well, I pushed my shitty self into his life this weekend. And that is why I have come here to write this obnoxiously long post. I want to capture this weekend to remind myself that I am capable of being a human dumpster fire and also still come out the other side feeling damn good about myself. To start, we should discuss my Vision Quest (more backstory). 

The Vision Quest

A few weeks ago my boss walked into our office and said to me, “Natalie, what is that one thing you want to do this summer?” And I looked at her blankly like, what the fuck? And she kept pushing. What do you want to do? What do you want to accomplish? Well, what she does not know is that I am planning on moving. And I don’t mean, move out of my parents place into the city (oh yeah, I’m still with Mom and Dad). I mean, move move. Out of state. Out of mind. Denver, Salt Lake, Austin, Charlotte, Nashville. Those are my options. I want SLC or Denver. My best friend Nicole wants Austin (she was born and raised there, and that’s where her mom lives) or maybe Denver/Boulder. But I did comment that I’m going to Utah this summer (for Nerdtacular) so I guess that’s my Big Thing. 

She told me I needed something else. She’s right. I’ve been pretty depressed the last few months. Not debilitating like it has been in the past, but I’ve definitely had a mood shift. I’ve never been the most happy-go-lucky person, but there are some day I would just drag myself into work and barely able to function as a human being all day. I’d stare into the middle ground. I’d get agitated and angry at homemakers and clients over dumb shit. I’d snap like a motherfucker at the officemate. I’d almost always apologize, but I definitely would snipe at him unjustly. So I said I needed a Vision Quest. 

When I said I needed a Vision Quest, I meant it mostly as a joke. Also, in the sense of culturally appropriating Native American folklore of going through a series of trials and coming out a man on the other end. That’s what I was talking about. The officemate interpreted my Vision Quest and I need to try psychedelics. He didn’t say that directly, but he linked me to an episode of The Simpsons where Homer eats a hot pepper that sends him on a psychedelic trip. He out of the blue started sending me articles about 60s counterculture, and more specifically, Owsley Stanley. Jokes on him, because what he didn’t know about me is that my senior year high school research paper was a 20 page long research paper into how drug culture impacted American history starting in the 1940′s to present (2011 present). I find all of that shit so fascinating to begin with, so then I spent my day at work listening to songs about the counterculture and psychedelics and in a Wikipedia wormhole clicking link and link to learn about so many different kinds of drugs that are lesser know variant of lsd. 

But do not mistake this for me wanting to drop acid with my officemate. That is definitely not something I have any intention of doing. (At least for now. Again, changing dynamics). Nicole and I have joked about how it’s so goddamn weird that he has not at all broached the topic of smoking weed together (like a normal goddamn person who would want to do drugs with their coworker) but he went right to “we should do psychedelics, a deeply profound and person experience, together.” 

As Nicole and I would joke about that, I did say, I’d smoke with the officemate any day. It’s the lsd that gave me pause. That was about a month ago now. But I never thought that would be a line I’d cross with him. Until...

Last Week

We’ll get there. I’ll let those words hang. I mean, we all know where that’s going so I will fill in how this last week has gone. The officemate is huge into a jam band. The kind of thing where he travels around the country seeing them and getting into them, and this week they were on his home turf for a three night event, and the officemate’s 100th show was set to be night two. 

The officemate invited us to join him on either night 1 or 3. He mostly wanted us there on night 1, though. I, though, have *spoiler alert* debilitating anxiety that makes it hard for me to believe that any would actually want to hang out with me. He asked the boss and I to go with him and I said “hahah, yes” cause I thought it was a goddamn joke, and then I proceeded to feel so much anxiety about it leading up to it because I was convinced he didn’t actually want us there. The boss also said that she would go. So come Thursday, the boss actually went to the show with him and I... Went to trivia with my friends out in Burlington, a half hour past where I live, which is already a half hour outside the city. So I was a solid hour away from Milwaukee, four Landsharks deep with my friends, rocking our nearly perfect trivia game, when he texts me. Are you seriously not coming? The weight of guilt hit me so hard in that moment. He wanted me there and I stood him up. 

I felt like shit. I also kind of just regretted not going. It has been so long since I’ve done something outside of my comfort zone (anxiety, depression, that sort of thing) that I hated that I couldn’t bring myself to go. So at work on Friday, he gave me so much shit about it, but I kind of just let it go. I felt better. My anxiety was easing up. I had nothing to worry about, and then he said to me just as he was heading out the door Friday afternoon You should seriously come tomorrow night. I brushed it off. Yeah, Maybe. I’ll text you tomorrow? 

Full disclosure: I wasn’t going to go. Again, I’m still not convinced that he wanted me there. Sure, the boss went on Thursday and had a great time, but how much fun could that have been for him? Partying with his boss? And the next day the boss comes in chatting about the clouds of smoke hanging low over the crowd. Sweet, sweet innocent boss. And I’m sure I can hang just as well as the officemate. Well, maybe not as well, but I can hang! I’m cool! I’m hip! I can do the drugs! (Convinced?) 

Saturday Afternoon

Saturday my sisters and I took the dogs to the dog park in the morning. It was finally a day that hinted at spring. Afterwards, Sam and I ran to Target and then we had to hit up my cousin’s daughter’s first birthday party. 

Here’s where I had a Come-to-Jesus moment with one of my cousin’s. She 31, has three kids, and really did a good job at embracing “life.” Despite having her first kid at 21, and then subsequently going through a series of pregnancies and miscarriages, before having her son, and then later another daughter, my cousin has lived a life. She, too, is major into following around a jam band across the country. Not as much as she used to being a 31 yr-old mother of three, but her three kids have each been to more Phish concerts in their short 10, 6, and 3 years on this earth than I have been to any concert ever. But she’s getting older and tired. So Saturday we were sitting and chatting. 

“You look tired, did you go out last night?” No, I’m just tired. “What are you plans for tonight?” Nothing, probably just going to take a nap. “You used to have so much fun. What happened?” (Editor’s Note: The first and best people I ever get in trouble with are my cousins. They were the first people I got stoned with. The first people I go drunk with. The first people I’ve ever pursued guys in bars with. But all of that was a long time ago. I first smoked weed with them at 12. Drunk at 13. We’d troll “Up North” Bars when I was 14/15/16. But now I’m 24.) I’m getting old Heather. “Shut up. You are not old. Wanna see Beauty and the Beast with me and the kids tonight?” Maybe. I’m not sure. “I just can’t believe that you have no plans whatsoever. Nothing.” Well, the guy I work with offhandedly invited me to UM tonight. “Oh. You. Are. Going.”

And so I went. 

Umphrey’s McGee and My Life

I was late, not shockingly. I met his friends. It was uncomfortable. I pounded two beers and did three shots of whiskey in, oh, I don’t know. Fifteen minutes? That’s the thing about my anxiety. When I’m anxious in social situations with alcohol, I immediately start throwing them back like your drunk uncle at Christmas that no one wants to be there but no one has the heart to un-invite. That’s how I got so goddamn trashed at the Packer party. I was really anxious so I just started drinking because I didn’t know what else to do. 

I didn’t really talk to anyone. His one friend made polite small talk with me, but that was about it. And then he leaned over to me, before the show started, and said, “You wanna go on that Vision Quest tonight?” To my SHOCK AND HORROR, I said, “I mean, what do you have in mind?” What I should have said was no. But don’t worry guys, this isn’t a post about my first lsd experience! He said, “Hah, yeah, not tonight. It’s too late. Some other time though.” And then, just about as the house lights go down he leans in close to my ear and whisper/shouted (remember, voices travel weird at concerts) “Can I ask you a weird question?” Yeah, what? “Have you, ever, in your life, been high?” I didn’t give a standard yes or no, because that’s not what I do. I said, What kind of question is that? “When was the last time?” Not since October, I don’t smoke like I used to. “Alright, then be careful with this shit.” And he hands me a goddamn vape pen. Here’s the thing I know about me and vaping instead of traditional smoking. I get always get too high, too fast. It’s too easy for me to inhale and too hard for me to judge how much I’m taking in. I know this about myself. But I never seem to learn from past experiences. SO OF COURSE I take a really solid drag. OF COURSE. Always. EVERY TIME. I know better. Then I enjoy the show. And a joint comes my way, and I take a good drag, because I’m better at smoking joints. And then the officemate hands me his whiskey and I take another pull from the flask. And then he refills my now empty beer cup with beer from his can. And then the joint comes back. And then an e-cig appears out of nowhere. And a pipe. So I’m smoking four different kinds of weed from four different sources, drinking whiskey and beer. And I’m having a goddamn great time. 

At set break I vow to stop drinking and smoking. I do have to drive back to my bullshit suburb after all. But I get one Blue Moon to wash down everything else. And then the second set starts. And the vape pen comes back. And I say no, because I’m an adult and the officemate says “C’mon, we’ll figure something out about getting you home.” oof. I keep smoking. We polish off the whiskey. We share a bottle of water (thank god) and then we share a beer. 

The show ends. I cannot drive home. 

What to do. What to do.

I panicked. I was sobering up enough to know that I cannot drive home but I also have no other options. I don’t know what to do. I consider calling my sister, but she had decided conveniently to not go by her boyfriend’s that night. Her boyfriend lives five blocks from the theatre, that would have been ideal. Officemate offers to let me go back to his place. But it’s weird. We’re both weird about it. Neither of us want it to happen. 

I’m still panicking. And apologizing. and panicking. and apologizing. We get a lyft back to his place. The whole fifteen minute ride to his side of town, I apologize profusely. We keep saying things that are hazy that both of us agree we will not repeat on Monday. I make him swear that we will not talk about this ever again. I do not want this to come up on Monday. I don’t want the boss to know that I spent the night at his place. He says I’m never gonna live it down. I tell him it sucks that I have to quit my job. 

We get back to his place. It’s weird. We sit on his couch and he asks me what I want to watch. It’s Always Sunny is my chill out show. So we watch it for an hour. His roommate came back with some other guy and when they saw that I was there, they decided that both of them would crash at a different friend’s place to give us space? Mind you, the officemate is in a long term committed relationship with someone else. So now it’s weird. Even weirder. His roommate wants to get out of our way? What does he thinks gonna happen? Not to mention that they both have their own rooms. Nothing was going to happen that was going to bother anyone. But so they left.

We pass out. I woke up about three hours later, about 6:30. I peed. Grabbed my shoes. Snuck out. Got a lyft back to my car on the other side of town. Got no parking tickets and did not get towed (personal win bc I was definitely parked in a no parking after midnight zone). Haven’t heard from him all day. I’m glad.

Today

Some unique challenges of living with your parents is doing your walk of shame for the first time in front of them. Walking into the house at quarter after 7 in the morning, tired, reeking of weed and beer, blood shot eyes, unamused, while Mom and Dad are sitting at the kitchen table putting together their shopping list for the week while eating a well rounded breakfast. They smiled at me, asked me if I had fun. I shrugged. Then went to bed. 

But honestly, can we talk about something cheesy and dramatic? I cannot stop smiling. My depression has been so ever-present lately that I did not realize I have been depressed. The signs have been there. People have pointed it out to me. But I’ve been ignoring them. But today, I have felt no anxiety, no exhaustion, no irritation. I’ve just been feeling so good about myself. Literally, I feel really good about The Future. 

The officemate kept joking that this was going to be a life changing experience for me, and while I don’t think it’s wholly life changing, I do think it’s exactly what I needed. I needed to get pushed outside of my comfort zone. And for once, I don’t dread going to work tomorrow. I’m not nervous about facing the officemate. I snuck out without anyone noticing. I just disappeared. And I’m excited at the prospect of us hanging out again in a similar setting. I like stoned/drunk Officemate. He’s a different person but I like that person a lot.