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#all they know is that their older than me by a few months lol
solradguy · 1 day
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Kind of heavy.
The other day I saw a video of a Russian soldier surrendering to a Ukrainian drone. He had gaunt cheeks, his leg was covered in blood, he had wide, staring, eyes. Someone pointed out he was wearing a wedding ring. There were bomb craters all around him. He cowered when the drone got too close. He couldn't have been much older than me.
One of the comments said something sort of like, "In the early internet you would have to go to specific websites to see grievously wounded children, graphic footage from wars, the last words of condemned men. Now you can find it on the front page of every social media site. You can rewatch the death of a human being with a family at home, with hobbies and a favorite meal, from thousands of miles away through the eyes of machines, recorded in languages you will never know."
And we encourage others to watch these videos and look at these photos. Why? Who is it really helping? Is feeling like we're sharing in their suffering by watching and spreading them through some morbid sense of justice as good as actually doing something? It is good to be aware of these issues, we need to know what's going on in places like Ukraine, Lebanon, and Palestine right now, but man... I can't take this anymore
I'm sorry if I unfollow some people. There is only so much I can blacklist and some things still get through it. I've been in a pit this entire year and I hop online to catch up with friends and interests and it's just endless death and doom. I follow some world news outlets and still get updates on things that way, but I seriously need to make changes to my personal online spaces.
The drone video I saw yesterday and the comment with it have been rattling around my mind for a few days now. Watching these things isn't helping anyone or anything. I know things are bad, I know people need help. Making myself watch these anyway, like it's raising some "awareness" or something, is just making me depressed, cranky, and isolationist.
I hardly draw anymore unless someone pays me to. My 3D printer has a layer of dust on it. Translations I could have done months ago sit unopened in my editor. I've been kind of downplaying how bad this year has been but it has been bad. I don't think I've been in a headspace like this since I was in high school. I'm like a friggin cat and don't like it when people worry for me so I stay quiet about it and just get grumpy instead lol
I hate unfollowing people and breaking mutuals with friends, but I seriously need to, and I'm sorry...
I understand I really didn't need to make a post like this and could have just quietly unfollowed people, but I'm making it anyway to hopefully encourage other people in dark mental pits to make similar changes for the better to their spaces.
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katy-l-wood · 11 hours
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Beta Search
I'm looking for a beta (or a few) for my new book who is willing to read it in chunks as I get them done. The book is heavily based around wildland firefighting, and that's something I know enough about that I don't know what isn't common knowledge anymore, so I'm looking for someone that knows nothing or next to nothing about wildland firefighting and can point out anything that's confusing to the average person. (Other feedback is also welcome! That's just the one main thing I know I need to get checked right off the bat, lol.)
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These are three of the major characters. Left to right we've got:
Theo: second in command of his family's private wildland firefighting company, The Torch Crew, which was started in the fifties by his grandfather. Doing his best to keep the company alive despite the mismanagement of his much older second cousin who currently owns and runs it. Definition of "he a little confused but he got the spirit" queer ally.
Maddie: Theo's best friend. Trans woman. Takes no shit and is trying very hard to get Theo to stop taking his second cousin's shit. Very good at cutting down very scary trees and making it look easy. Lives by the mantra of "not my monkeys, not my circus" as much as possible, but when she jumps in she jumps IN.
Andreas: Main character. Asexual. 20 years old. College dropout who only joined the family firefighting company because he didn't know what else to do with himself. Nearly dies on page one and in the process accidentally ends up enmeshed in a bunch of nonsense with several Greek Gods, kicking off the plot.
Said plot, without giving too much away at this point, involves a lot of natural disaster and Andreas trying to navigate what it means to be favored by the gods, especially when at least one of those gods has it out for the existence of all mortals.
Overall themes of sacrifice, what sacrifice means, responsibility for the climate, and power as an individual vs. a collective.
I have about 30k written so far, and I'm thinking it'll end up around 80-100k, and will be a standalone. I'd send it to you in probably 2-3 chapter chunks as I get them done, plus that 30k chunk that's already done. I'd appreciate relatively quick feedback (weeks rather than months).
If you're interested, please DM me! I'd like to do this over Discord if possible, if not, email is fine. And it would be using Word for feedback as I don't use Google Docs.
I'll turn off reblogs when I've found enough people, so if reblogs are on I'm still looking. :)
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steampunkedparm · 6 months
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how long do you guys think i can hide my birthday from my partner
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#okay it's been a while BUT maybe some of you remember my friend 'joe'#not his name it's a fake name that i only use here lol but anyway#joe was my next door neighbor in sacramento#he's like 15 years older than me and is a stoner electrician filmmaker artist type#a true freak in the sense that he is Different Than Everyone Else#like very. very. very unusual person#my wife and i became very close with him and we used to do all kinds of cool stuff together#along with his partner who i will call 'amy'!#since we moved to LA we only see him once or twice a year#usually when he drives down to visit and help us renovate our house#he encourages my art more than anyone in the world pretty much#my stupid amateur music and my little projects and my smut fanfiction literally all of it#sometimes he pisses me off because he's a white cishet man lmao#but mostly he's got the right idea about shit#i love joe forever and ever and ever he's truly one of my closest friends in my life even when we don't talk for months#ANYWAY JOE IS COMING TO VISIT ON WEDNESDAY AND I AM SO EXCITED#i havent seen him since way before the baby was born! so its been like a year??#its been a while! but he's coming for at least a few days#maybe a week? i dont know#and he's bringing amy this time!!!!#amy is so cool. a very chill and kind and wise person#i love her too but JOE! I'M GONNA HANG OUT WITH JOE!!!!!!!!!!#i dunno man ever since we moved down here i've been so isolated#and i was already relatively isolated in sac lol#but down here its like damn. just me and the wife and kids#and my wife's family#but when Joe comes to visit i feel like a real person again#joe#not sure if i have a tag for joe but just in case lol
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whimsiwitchy · 1 month
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Controversially Young Girlfriend 
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Hugh Jackman x popstar!reader 
series masterlist & main masterlist
summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men. 
warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns. 
warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. i do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything! <33
authors note: this is an idea I had that I really needed to write. I’d love to make this a series if you guys want more, just let me know! This is only my second time writing fanfiction and my first time writing for Hugh, please be nice lol. Thank you for reading! <3
Part one: breakup and new beginnings 
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Being a young girl living in the middle of bumfuck nowhere made it seem impossible to live your dreams of becoming a singer. You grew up in a tiny little town in Louisiana called Minden. With a population of less than 15,000 people, the closest ‘big’ city being Shreveport, growing up was pretty boring. You had big dreams of making it big and making it the fuck out of the country. Minden wasn’t always so bad. It was a nice community that had fun things here and there, but you craved more. 
Once you graduated highschool back in 2020, you focused on working and saving as much money as you could, only buying essentials and equipment to help make music. You took a few online classes on producing and tried your best to make whatever song was bouncing around in your head come to life. It took a year for you to feel confident enough to release your first few songs out into the world. So in July of 2021, you teased a song on TikTok to your small following. You started to gain a few more followers here and there, it was exciting. At the end of August, you released your first song titled ‘to the point’ and it blew up on the clock app. You gained a hefty following after that, on the brink of hitting one million. 
By the end of 2022, deciding on Los Angeles, you had finally saved enough money to move, so you were packing your bags and heading out. Your agent was ecstatic about the move because it meant more opportunities for your career. After releasing a few more songs over the past year, you hired Stacy to help you manage everything. 
Fastwording to 2024, your dreams have come true and you have been an established and respected artist for almost two years. You started to build a reputation as someone who was dedicated and passionate about their craft- always being involved in any creative process. It was bliss. Lately though, you’ve gained another reputation, the controversial young girlfriend, a whore, a gold digger. Since you’ve been in the spotlight, you’ve had your fair share of dating history and if they all happened to be older men, so what? It wasn’t something you had planned on but older men were just built differently. They were so much sexier and put together than the guys your age. They knew what they were doing and how to treat a woman right. You were so tired of being asked out through instagram direct messages, you wanted someone who wasn’t afraid to talk to you in person, and that seemed to only come from men twice your age. You weren’t complaining though, you enjoyed it. 
Your last ‘scandalous’ relationship ended up being far more public than you intended it to be. In the beginning, the men you were seen with were never anything serious, just dates or one night stands. Though with Pedro it was different. You dated him for six months before it all came crashing down and you felt heartbroken. He was the sweetest man you’d ever been with and it all ended because the hate from fans on our age gap was too much for him. It was an ugly breakup and you were positive that he wouldn’t want to be associated with you anymore, even as friends. 
-
“I should have picked a different song.” You huff in frustration. Today you were going to be performing on BBC’s Radio 1 Live Lounge and as requested, you'd be performing your own song and a cover of your choosing. When Stacy first presented this opportunity to you, it had only been a month after your recent breakup and naturally you chose to cover ‘THE GREATEST’ by Billie Eilish. Now that you were mostly over Pedro, the song seemed silly to sing and you weren’t feeling as vocally confident now that you were here. 
“Babe, you’re gonna kill it! Just let your emotions flow, give the fans what they want.” Stacy is sitting across the room as she comforts you. She’s fidgeting with your vocal humidifier, attempting to put it together before you start warming up. Her advice isn’t terrible, she’s right. You’d been pretty silent on the subject matter, steering clear of social media so you wouldn’t say anything stupid. Rumors of your breakup had been all over the headlines but there hasn’t been confirmation from either of you. Singing this song today would definitely stir the pot again and make everyone realize that it is done between you two. 
“You’re right.” 
“As always. Here, start warming up the money maker.” She laughs while handing you the humidifier. 
“I really hope he doesn’t watch it. I’d literally smash my head into a brick wall out of embarrassment…” 
Placing the humidifier over your mouth and nose, you sit there letting your mind wander. Having your personal life exposed to everyone really sucked and hiding your boyfriends wasn’t something you wanted to do, but you knew that in the future it was something that would have to happen. 
“I think I’m taking a break from men.” You let out proudly, glancing over at Stacy. 
“Whatever you say girl.” You could hear the doubt lingering in her tone and the roll of her eyes. 
“Ugh… You don’t believe me do you? I can totally break off from men and be my own person for once.” 
“I’m not trying to doubt you babe. It’s just…You tend to attract men like a magnet and you have some severe daddy issues.” She's typing away on her laptop as if she didn’t just completely disrespect you. 
“I don’t have daddy issues.” You say flatly. “I happen to have a very loving father who was always present in my life, so the whole dating older men thing does NOT stem from daddy issues. Thank you very much.” You say matter of factly. 
“Hm..Well I give it a week.” 
-
After a few sound checks for your mic and band, you perform your first song. You chose a more upbeat song off your debut album to start, given that you were about to lay your heart out of the line. It was honestly kind of awkward performing in this setting. There was a booth in front of you that had the sound board and all of the other electronic stuff that you didn’t understand. Then right to the left of that, the cameras were positioned with a group of crew members sitting behind them. It always felt awkward performing to smaller audiences. 
The first song went by smoothly, earning a few cheers from the people in the room. As the band prepared for the next song, you could see the door in the booth open and two figures walk in. You weren’t wearing your glasses or contacts since it was supposed to be a short day, so you really couldn’t make out who had just walked in. You assumed more workers came in and brushed it off. 
“All ready?” A man behind the camera asks and you give a thumbs up. 
You somehow managed to get through the song without having any vocal mess ups. It was a challenging song and you'd definitely have to text Billie later to give her some credit. A few tears slipped here and there, feeling the emotions that you thought were gone slowly be released. You pulled yourself together and you felt really proud of the performance as a whole, showing the world the potential your voice had. 
A few soft claps are dying out as everyone starts cleaning up the room. You’re reaching down to grab your water bottle when you feel someone rushing up towards you. 
“Ahhh you did great babe but um two hot dudes will be walking through that door any second!” Stacy is whispering and all you could do was give her a confused look before the door opens. You squint trying to make out the two figures. 
“God you’re talented!” You hear the voice before you see the face. 
“Oh um, thank you so much.” You let out not really sure who you were speaking to. Once the two men get into view, your jaw drops slightly. 
“HOLY SHIT!” You yell a little too loudly. Slapping your hand over your mouth, you hear a very rich man laugh coming from a very good looking man. For some reason, whoever is in charge of the fate of the universe has blessed you with the presence of Ryan Reynalds and Hugh Jackaman. 
“Oh my god i’m so sorry, that’s literally so embarrassing. I just couldn’t see who you were at first.” 
“It’s okay sweetheart.” They both wear big smiles on their faces. 
“I’m y/n, it’s so nice to meet y’all, i’m a big fan!” You gush out, trying your best to refrain from fangirling. 
“We’re big fans as well. We were next door interviewing for the radio show, when we heard you were recording over here. We ran over here to try to catch you.” Ryan lets out. 
“No shit! That’s so cool. I really appreciate it.” Before the conversation could continue, Ryan is being called over by someone, leaving Hugh and yourself alone. 
“Hows Pedro, haven't seen him in awhile.” Hugh asks genuinely, giving you a small smile. It caught you off guard completely. You racked your brain trying to think of a time in your six month relationship that Pedro mentioned Hugh at all but nothing came up. 
“Oh I uh- I wouldn’t know. We aren’t together anymore.” Your voice is soft, trying not to make this any more awkward. 
“Shit. I’m so sorry, with the way he spoke about you, I thought you’d be together longer…” He trails off. 
“Yea me too.. he couldn’t handle the heat I guess.” You shrug. 
“Well, his loss yea?” He smiles trying to cheer you up. 
“Yea..” You say softly, your voice matching your smile. You take a moment to really look at him and he’s beyond handsome. He’s aged but in a way that makes you wish you were able to see the years go by with him. He was tall, almost towering over you, and his muscles were practically popping out of his shirt. 
The same guy that was walking to Ryan, gathers the three of you for a picture for the BBC socials. You stand in the middle, both men placing their arms behind either side of you. Hugh’s hand was placed on the small of your back. You looked up at him quickly, his face already smiling at the camera. You hear the camera go off a few times, causing you to look that way as well. Once the cameraman was satisfied, everyone gave their goodbyes and the room cleared out. 
-
Later that night you were scrolling through your phone when a text popped up from Stacy. 
Stacypoo <33: I told you. You couldn’t even go a week. ;) 
The text is accompanied by a screenshot of a notification stating that “‘thehughjackman’ started following you!”. You rushed to open instagram and went to your followers to search from his name. You stared at his page for a few minutes before following him back. 
While you had control over your own social media, someone handled all of your business related content. You went on your page to see that the picture that was taken at BBC earlier today was already posted with one comment standing out beyond the rest. 
Thehughjackman: Great meeting you sweetheart! :)
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Thank you for reading <3
part two
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starkwlkr · 1 month
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Omfg I need like early on in the relationship between Hugh and marvel!reader where their relationship isn’t public and their papparazzi of them on set together coz they’re visiting eachother and everyone’s thinking xmen X mcu when in reality it’s just them together dating
no spoilers! | hugh jackman
an: ok since their first son was born in 2000 (it’s canon idk what date but it’s canon now lol) and the mcu started in 2008 I’m going to change a few things JUST TINY THINGS like the mcu being in development early on and marvel actress!reader being casted in the early 2000s. does that make sense?? idk this is fanfiction
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2005
Getting a call from Marvel was something you never expected. Like many people, you grew up reading the comics and watching the tv shows. But now you had the chance of a lifetime. You were being offered a role in the first movie in the Marvel cinematic universe.
After having a meeting with the marvel executives and your manager, you were asked to keep the news of your casting a secret. The media was already wondering who was going to portray what heroes on the big screen and your name was being thrown around.
While your relationship was still a secret, you often visited Hugh on set of X-Men with Alex and Reese. You tried to keep your little family from the media as much a possible. You would watch Hugh get into his costume and do his stunts. You were always amazed at how much fun it would be to portray a superhero and now you were finally going to be able to.
A few months after you met with Marvel, you found out you were pregnant with your third baby. A girl. Thankfully you weren’t set to film yet since the film was still in development. When it was finally time to film ‘Iron Man’, you were more than ready. Your kids were a bit older so they finally got to watch you beat up bad guys like their dad did.
It was during the filming of ‘Iron Man 2’ when your secret was finally revealed to the world. You didn’t really know how it even happened . . . Your guess was that paparazzi somehow snuck in. Hugh was always careful when visiting you on set. Rumors were already circulating on the internet about a potential X-Men and Avengers team up. It didn’t help that Hugh was sporting his signature Wolverine hair when he visited the set. At least the kids weren’t with you.
“You look much better than me,” Hugh looked at your costume. He couldn’t stop staring, it was starting to make you weak in the knees. “at least you get comfortable suits. Remember the black suits from X-Men? The most uncomfortable shit ever.”
“The kids thought you looked cool.” You reminded him.
“Okay, that makes me feel better.”
As you and Hugh talked, some paparazzi were secretly taking photos. All they could think about was how well they were going to get paid for the exclusive photos. The X-Men joining the mcu? That was big news!
When the photos were published on every magazine, you couldn’t help but laugh. What a way to reveal your relationship. You definitely didn’t want to share the news this way, but you also didn’t want to lose your job.
“Maybe in a few years it’ll come true. You, me, X-Men and the Avengers.” He told you, giving you your morning coffee. The kids were still sleeping so you and Hugh took advantage of the quiet morning. You set the magazine down on the table and drank the coffee.
“It would be nice. Imagine what the kids will think. Mom and dad beating up the bad guys together,” you smiled at him. He took the opportunity to give you a kiss. As he pulled away, you whispered to him. “or it could be me kicking the wolverine’s ass.”
You and Hugh’s characters wouldn’t share the screen until 2024 when Deadpool & Wolverine premiered. Your kids were more than excited to see their parents fighting together.
@kellyxo1 @barnes70stark @ru-kru @flyestvenustrap @evasmlp
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hellodropbear · 21 days
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chosen.
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mapi leon x ingrid engen x daughter
isabel is finally adopted
new chapter!!!
as always, hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think (good or bad lol) and anything else you want to see :)
~~~~~~
It was something Isabel had been nagging Mapi about for months. Maybe even longer. 
Isabel wasn't stupid anymore, she knew that Mapi had not planned to be her mother. There were other people, and half of her was made of who was supposed to be her father, the man that Mapi spoke so highly of despite getting choked up every time he was brought up in conversation. 
She knew they had died right before she was born and she knew that Mapi was left with a baby that she hadn't actually asked for. 
Isabel knew Mapi stopped playing football until she was older, taking a long chunk out of what would have likely been the peak of her career. 
She knew Ingrid came along later, which is why she had grown up calling her Ingrid. 
She didn't call her Mami, she didn't call her Mama. She called her Ingrid which just seemed so wrong. 
Because Ingrid was her mother, as much as Mapi. 
Mapi had given birth to her, she was a single mother for the first two years probably, until her relationship with Ingrid started getting more serious and both Isabel and Mapi became more and more reliant on the brunette Norwegian that they had fallen in love with so quickly. 
Isabel looked like Mapi, and she carried a few of her personality traits around with her. Outgoing, funny, chatty. 
But Ingrid also raised her, which meant she carried around the Norwegian's calmness, her kindness and her emotional nature. 
She was practically a carbon copy of Mapi on the outside, but anyone who knew her on the inside would say she was the perfect blend of both women. 
So how come she only called one of them Mami? 
Why was it that if she was seriously injured, only Mapi would be called up?
And Isabel wasn't stupid, she knew that Ingrid wished she had been there from the beginning, that her name was written on all of the important documents. She knew that Ingrid wished she was called Mama. 
Not Ingrid. 
When she was younger, Isabel would call Ingrid Mama when she was tired or sad, if she wanted a hug or if she was just feeling emotional. 
It would be in those tender moments and Ingrid's heart would melt every time. It was always in the apartment, hidden away from the rest of the world and just the three of them there together. 
But it never really stuck, and Isabel continued to call her by her first name everywhere else. Her teachers would ask about Mami and they'd ask about Ingrid, her friends would get confused because who is Ingrid?
They all just had a Mami and a Papi. 
Ingrid always thought that Mami and Mama would make more sense. 
So when Mapi knocked on her bedroom door, an official looking document held securely in her hand, Isabel had a very large suspicion that she knew exactly what was in that plastic slip. 
Mapi could tell she knew, the way her eyes lit up and she immediately placed her guitar to the side, sitting up as Mapi moved to sit beside her. 
"Is it them?"
Mapi smiled, tears in her eyes. 
"Yeah, it is."
"Mami!" Isabel practically jumped on her trying to hug her, tears springing from her eyes as well. "Thank you so much!"
Mapi just shrugged. 
"She's your Mama and has been for your whole life, this just makes it official."
"We have to plan something so special! Mami, I can't wait to tell her!"
Mapi laughed softly, planting a kiss on Isabel's head and hugging her in close. 
"We'll just have to make sure she says yes! She might not want to be officially related to a little rodent like you."
Isabel laughed, whacking her mother's side in mock offence and rolling her eyes. 
They both knew that it wasn't true, that Ingrid loved Isabel more than anything else. 
"She loves me more than you, Mami, you're just jealous."
Mapi laughed, silently agreeing. 
She would never admit that though. 
"You wish."
~~~~~~
Isabel spent every minute of the next two weeks planning what would be the perfect surprise for Ingrid, only requesting advice from Mapi a few times. 
It was a photo album that she was creating, filled with just pictures of them as Isabel got older, Mapi only featuring at times that Isabel deemed it absolutely necessary.
Birthdays, christmases, family barbecues, trips to Norway. Summer holidays on the beach. 
Skating competitions, Isabel stood there proudly with the gold medal hanging round her neck, a giddy smile on her face as Ingrid had picked her up despite her rapidly growing figure. 
She had scrolled through all of Mapi's old photos, printing out the good ones and sticking them in the page with stickers and little notes until it was completely full. 
She wrote a letter, enlisting Caro to help her perfect her Norwegian, making her swear to secrecy - the contents of the note were strictly confidential. 
She came up with a plan, something she knew Ingrid would love. A walk to their park was nothing worth being suspicious of, not even when the 10 year old pulled out Bagheera’s carrier. 
It was a family affair, she told Mapi. It would be mean to leave the cat out of it just because she didn’t usually go on their walks. 
It was a nice walk and a nice picnic, planned out to the T by Isabel, down to what colour lined the paper plates and how the fruits on the fruit platter would be cut. 
Everything she did was for Ingrid and if the Norwegian had asked her, she would have been able to explain every single decision in a way that related back to how much she loved Ingrid. 
Perhaps, for that reason, it was best that the papers were forgotten at home, because Ingrid would have been inconsolable if she saw the papers, the photo album and then was explained every single little decision made by her little girl. 
Isabel was disappointed, but Mapi reassured her that the Norwegian would not mind, that her reaction wouldn't change whether she was given those papers on the top of the eiffel tower or in a dump in the middle of the city. 
So the 10 year old waited until they got home and finished eating dinner, only heading up to her room to collect the file once Mapi and Ingrid were sat on the sofa, waiting for their child to return and choose something to watch. 
She couldn't help the nerves that filled up her stomach, the anxieties that began to attack her as soon as the file was in her shaking hand. She almost felt sick as she walked downstairs, spying the back of Ingrid's head, hearing their voices chatting and laughing. 
It took one last push of confidence to walk and stand in front of them, the file held tightly in her hands as she anxiously rocked back and forth on her heels. 
She took a deep breath, realising that everything she had planned to say was long forgotten, instead just brandishing the file towards Ingrid, who took it with an air of confusion as she glanced between Isabel and Mapi. 
"What's this, Is?"
Isabel cowered under her glance, suddenly full of insecurity and self doubt. Would Ingrid even want to be her mother?
She had spent so much time thinking about how much she wanted Ingrid to be her mother, that she sort of ignored the possibility that the Norwegian didn't want that. 
And that would completely break the 10 year old. 
"Just open it." Mapi smiled reassuringly at Isabel, noticing her nerves, before looking over at Ingrid who had completely frozen as soon as she read the first few words on the top of the first page. 
She immediately broke down in tears, her body racking with sobs as she realised what she had just been given.
~~~~~~
"Isabel Leon! We're going and we're going now!" Ingrid was beyond frustrated, the 8 year old not listening to a word she said. Mapi was out of town for the week so they had been left alone together and the child was experiencing a severe case of 'I miss my mum' and it was materialising as disobedience and ignorance of Ingrid. 
"No!" She slammed her door closed for effect, throwing herself on her bed and willing herself not to cry. 
"Isabel, this is important and I can't leave you here. We have to go, you can sulk in the car."
The Norwegian was stood right outside the door, her hands massaging her head in frustration at the girl. 
"No! I'm not coming."
Ingrid huffed, shoving open the bedroom door and picking the ever-growing child up from her bed. 
"Ingrid!" She screeched loudly, almost deafening the brunette. "NO! Put me down, Ingrid, NOW!"
Her words dissolved into sobs as Ingrid continued to carry her until they had exited the apartment, the door locked behind them, Isabel left with no way to get back in. 
"I want Mami, Ingrid, I miss Mami!"
She shook her head, using her hand to guide the child into the lift. 
"Well Mami's gone, so you're stuck with me for now. You're just going to have to make do."
The child lashed out at the words and the contact, flipping around and facing Ingrid as the elevator doors closed. 
"There's a reason you're not my Mami!"
Her vision was blurred by her tears so she couldn't see the hurt that flashed over the woman's face. She only realised later that night that what she said was wrong, that she had been horrible to someone she loved so much for no reason. 
And Ingrid would never admit the reason that she was in tears as Mapi called her that night, alone and wrapped up in bed. 
As she put down the phone, tears still dripping down her face. It wasn’t often that her insecurities returned, but when they did it was like wildfire, quickly spreading and destroying everything good in it’s path. 
Because Isabel was right, Ingrid wasn’t her Mami. She wasn’t her Mama either, she was just Ingrid. 
She was Isabel’s Mami’s girlfriend. 
But if she asked either of the Spaniard’s, they would assure her that she is so much more than that. 
It was with desperation that she tried to wipe her tears away as her bedroom door creaked open, Isabel creeping through the door and silently climbing up onto Mapi’s side of the bed, curling herself up in Ingrid’s side. 
The Norwegian didn’t realise she was crying until she heard the sniffle, her shoulders shuddering subtly.
“Is.” Ingrid’s voice was a whisper and Isabel turned around to face her, eyes puffy and her cheeks stained with tears. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Ingrid.”
She took a deep, shuddery breath and nestled her head into Ingrid’s chest. 
“Please don’t leave me and Mami.”
Ingrid frowned, wrapping her arms tighter around the girl. 
“Why would you think I was leaving you and your Mami?”
Isabel shrugged, her voice breaking as she replied. 
“I said that you’re not my Mami, but you are. I was naughty and you were angry and I don’t want you to leave me, Ingrid, because I love you.”
The Norwegian’s heart broke but she took a deep breath, closing her eyes and responding. 
“I will never leave you and your Mami. Never ever worry about that because I will always be here. And you were just upset today, you missed Mami and you were angry and sad and said stuff to me that you didn’t mean but it’s ok, Is, because you know it was naughty and you’ve apologised. But please, never ever worry about me leaving. I love you way too much to not see you every single day.”
~~~~~~
“Where is Ingrid, Mami?” 
She had woken up confused, her head sore and her arm in a cast. 
All she could remember was dragging Pina and Patri to the skatepark, showing off her new tricks. They were impressive, for a 9 year old and Mapi worried every day about her little girl flying around the skatepark with little to no concern about her own safety. 
When Pina and Patri had offered to babysit, she specifically told them that if they went to the skatepark, Isabel had to wear all the protective equipment that Mapi had purchased. 
Which she did, the two women making sure everything was on tight, equally as nervous as Mapi tended to be whenever she had to accompany Isabel to the skatepark. 
But whenever Pina or Patri turned their back, she would discreetly shed another protective item, embarrassed and humiliated in front of all the local skaters who wore nothing but their normal clothes and a helmet. 
They noticed, of course they did, but Isabel was too quick on her board for them to catch her and put them back on.
“Pequena!” Patri had yelled, her voice stressed and somewhat angry. “Come back here right now and put this all back on!”
It was rare Patri yelled at her, so the harsh words came as a shock to Isabel, who tried to pull off a spin at the top of the bowl so she could turn around. 
Except it was a trick she hadn’t quite mastered yet, and instead of landing it on two feet, she plummeted to the base of the bowl with a sickening crunch, immediately bursting into tears. 
Pina swore as Patri jumped down to her, scooping her up in her arms and giving her a quick once over. 
Her heart sank when she saw the wonky arm. Broken, easily. 
Pina grabbed the board and followed quickly, jumping into the drivers seat as Patri carefully slid into the back, nursing Isabel’s arm as the 9 year old sobbed in pain. 
“Please, Patri!” She had sobbed, tears streaming down her face. “Don’t tell Mami, she will be so mad at me.”
Patri sighed quietly, knowing that Mapi’s anger would be directed entirely at Pina and herself. 
She didn’t tell Isabel that, instead kissing her head and soothing her, whispering quiet Spanish in her ear until her cries weakened and she fell asleep. 
The doctors in the hospital had confirmed the broken arm, as well as a very minor concussion that required monitoring for 24 hours. 
But she woke up, her mother’s familiar tattooed hand resting on her leg, her eyes full of worry and stress as she stared down at her daughter. 
Ingrid, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.
Mapi had been so caught up in her daughter’s injuries that she hadn’t even considered where Ingrid was having not seen her since that very morning. 
“I’m so glad you’re ok, my lion cub.”
The discipline about her gear would come later. Even if Patri and Pina had disregarded it, she had told Isabel time and time again about it’s importance. Today, unfortunately, Mapi had been proven right. 
She had yelled that to the two younger Spaniards as they waited in the hallway, sending them home with their heads bowed and tears in their eyes. 
For some reason, they didn’t tell her that they had been extra careful all day, Isabel only getting hurt after they had told her to come back to replace all her knee pads. Mapi was so angry, which they had understood. 
They were just upset because she had told them they would never see the little girl again, mapi couldn’t trust two people so irresponsible.
It was dramatic, of course, but Pina and Patri had never seen Mapi so angry before. 
“Where’s Ingrid?”
Mapi sighed quietly, stroking Isabel’s hair back. 
“I’ll call Ingrid, she can come in.”
She did just that, easily dialling the Norwegian on her phone, only having to wait through two rings before she picked up. 
“Is has been asking for you, Ingrid, do you want to come over to the hospital?”
Mapi hadn’t really known where Ingrid was, but her concern about why her girlfriend wasn’t there was sort of pushed to the side as she worried about her daughter’s wellbeing. 
She didn’t expect Ingrid to sound so frustrated, so upset. 
“I’ve been here this whole time, Mapi! They won’t let me up because I’m not on her documents. You’re her mother, not me.”
The Spaniard’s heart dropped, immediately filling with guilt. 
“I’ll be right there.”
She was practically flying down the stairs, grabbing Ingrid by the arm and pulling her into the lift. 
“I’m sorry, Ingrid. I’m so sorry.”
It was hard for the Spaniard to keep her tears at bay, the emotions of her day catching up with her. But Ingrid broke down in her arms, silently crying. 
“She’s my kid too, Mapi. She’s my kid too.”
Isabel didn’t know why both Ingrid and Mapi were crying when they entered her room again, but she did finally feel at ease with them both on either side of her, swiftly falling asleep as their hands rested on her smaller form. 
~~~~~~
Her first day of school had gone well. Better than well, really, she had loved everything about it. 
Her teacher, her friends, the food, her new pencil case and backpack. 
Everything had been perfect. It was still perfect as she spied her mother standing by the gate, Baloo’s leash in her hand as the young golden retriever stood steady by her side. 
“Mamiii!” 
Her backpack was dropped on the floor as she raced towards Mapi, throwing herself into her open arms and sighing contentedly as she was picked up, her head fitting easily on Mapi’s shoulders. 
“Oh hello there!” 
Mapi smiled, walking over to the abandoned school bag and skillfully bending down to pick it up with one hand, her daughter and the dog’s leash being held securely in the other. 
“How was your day, Is?”
Her question caused the girl to burst into excited chatter, eating Mapi’s ear off with her words as she recounted every possible story from the moment she was dropped off the the moment she was reunited, her words so quick that she was all finished by the time they arrived back to the apartment. 
“I made a friend, Mami!” 
She skipped beside her mother as they walked towards the lift, a grin settled on her face. 
Mapi was impressed, but not remotely surprised. It seemed that her daughter had inherited her own chattiness and confidence, but she was also an inherently happy kid who practically radiated sunshine. 
Mapi never had to worry about the girl making friends. 
So she listened as Isabel told her all about her new friend Sofie, about how she wasn’t even from Spain. 
“She’s from the same place as Esmee, Mami!” 
Dutch, Mapi thought. She wondered what a Dutch family was doing in Barcelona.
She continued to talk about Sofie’s older brother, her mother and father. Her grandparents and her cousins. 
But a small frown settled upon her face, as she looked up at Mapi with an inquisitive gaze. 
“I told her that I have a Mami, but no Papi. She asked who else looks after me because her Mami needs her Papi’s help all the time, so I told her I have an Ingrid, but she didn’t really get it. Because Ingrid isn’t a Papi.”
Mapi sighed, unclipping Baloo from his leash and moving to unpack Isabel’s backpack.
“Come up here, Is.” She patted the kitchen bench in front of her and the girl raced over, pulling herself up onto the bench with a practised ease. 
“You don’t have a Papi, no. But you have a Mami, don’t you?” Isabel nodded her head eagerly, wriggling slightly in her spot. “And who else do you have?”
“I have an Ingrid!” 
Mapi nodded, but gave her a look that prompted her to continue. 
“And an Ale, a Frido, Esmee! Pina, Patri. Leila, even though she lives all the way in England.”
“Who else?”
“Abuela and Abuelo! And tio and tia!” 
Mapi nodded proudly, placing her hands on Isabel’s shoulders. 
“You don’t have a Papi, Is, but you do have so many people here that love you, Ingrid more than anyone. We can’t even remember life without Ingrid, can we?”
Isabel shook her head, frowning. 
“I miss her when she’s away.”
“So do I.”
It was true, the house always seemed so much more quiet whenever the Norwegian had to return to Norway, even though she made by far the least noise out of all of them. She was a popular presence and one that made life so much more enjoyable for the two of them. 
Of course on the other side, Ingrid missed them equally as much and she was absolutely devastated that her national team duties were pulling her away from Isabel as she started school, one of the biggest days yet in her short life. 
But she had missed yet another milestone, just as she was cementing her place as a mother in Isabel’s life. 
“But Is, she’s your Mami too. You know this, she’s Mama.”
Isabel nodded. 
“I don’t think Sofie knew that it was ok to have no Papi because she looked sad when I told her.”
“Well, tomorrow you can tell Sofie that you’re ok! You don’t need a Papi because you have a Mama instead. Tell Sofie that families always look different but that doesn’t mean we love each other any less.”
She grinned, her head bobbing up and down happily. 
“I love you Mami!” 
Mapi smiled, reciprocating her words without hesitation. 
“Do you want to call Ingrid and tell her the same thing?”
“Let’s call Mama!” 
Mapi smiled with pride, scooping Isabel up in her arms and walking them over to the sofa as she dialled Ingrid. 
And that is where they sat for the next couple of hours, on the phone to their Ingrid, cuddled up in each others arms. 
It was Mapi’s favourite place, only made better when the Norwegian was right there too, her soft skin providing that extra love and warmth that both Spaniards desired so deeply. 
Ingrid was family now. Irreplaceable and incomparable. 
But if you asked Mapi, she would say that Ingrid had been family from the moment she first held Isabel in her arms. 
~~~~~~
Isabel watched as Ingrid broke down, tears streaming down her face and landing with big splats on her legs. 
The Norwegian was always going to be emotional, that was expected. Both Spaniards knew how insecure she was about her place in Isabel’s life, her role in this family. The insecurities were thick, stubborn. They never went away, despite how much Isabel and Mapi tried to cut them out, to push them away. 
The truth was enough for them to withstand any pushing that the mother daughter duo attempted, the facts were all there. 
Mapi was Isabel’s mother, she was the one on the documents, the one who was called if anything happened. She was allowed in Isabel’s hospital room when she got sick and she was the one that Isabel called Mami. 
Ingrid knew she was important, she knew she was loved. 
But she had always been Ingrid, excluding those few treasured times where Isabel had tiredly reached out for Mama. She found everything out through Mapi, she wasn’t even on the email list for her school. 
But these documents changed everything. 
For Ingrid, they changed everything. 
For Isabel and Mapi they changed nothing at all. 
Ingrid’s tears were expected, they were justified. But all she needed to do was look up at Isabel for her to run into her arms, almost toppling her over from her seated position on the sofa with the shear force of her body ramming into Ingrid’s, her arms easily wrapping around her. 
The Norwegian reciprocated the hug, her tears saturating the shoulder of Isabel’s shirt. 
“Do you want to be my Mama?”
Ingrid’s sobs became more audible as she tried to respond, words failing her as she nodded. The tears continued, Baloo looking up in confusion as the Norwegian cried, as Mapi did nothing to console her, instead watching on with a wet smile, tears dripping down her face. 
She was grateful to Ingrid because without her, life would be completely different. Without Ingrid, she would likely be a single mother. She and Isabel would live alone, Bagheera there too but Baloo wouldn’t have been an option if there wasn’t another adult there. 
Ingrid was the first time Mapi ever felt true love, the first time she ever felt like she was loved completely and romantically. The Norwegian made her happy, she made Isabel happy too. 
She had changed their lives for the better. 
Mapi would never be able to thank her enough. 
She watched as Ingrid’s cries softened, as she leant back and grabbed Isabel’s shoulders, looking at her straight in the eyes. 
“I would love nothing more, Isabel.”
It wasn’t long before Isabel disappeared, racing up to her room to grab her gift. As she left, Mapi easily retook her spot beside the Norwegian, kissing away the tears that still fell from her eyes. 
“You didn’t have to do this, Maria. I can’t believe it.”
The brunette just shrugged. 
“This is what’s right. You’ve raised her with me, you’re her mother, Ingrid. I didn’t think it was necessary for such a long time but last year at the hospital… it’s important to me that you know it only took me so long because it won’t change anything for me. You have always been her mother, ever since you walked into my life.”
Ingrid nodded, ready to reply before she heard the feet thundering back down the stairs, telling Mapi that they would have this conversation later. 
Shyly, Isabel handed over a neatly folded piece of paper and the photo book, sitting down on the other side of Ingrid as they flipped through it. 
It was how they spent the rest of the night, snuggled up together on the sofa, lots of tears shed as they flipped through the book of photos. 
Isabel fell asleep once they were done, the TV turned on as all three of them were emotionally exhausted, eyes puffy and faces red. Ingrid could only smile, her hand tangling up in Isabel’s head of hair as she slept peacefully on her mother’s lap. 
“My daughter. She’s my daughter, Maria.”
~~~~~~
It was a week of happiness in the Engen-Leon household, the Norwegian radiating positivity as she adjusted to her new role in Isabel’s life. 
Nothing changed, really, except for Ingrid’s security.
It wasn’t even something you could see from the outside, but Mapi knew her well enough to understand how much happier she was, like she had finally been relieved from a weight that she’d been carrying around for so long. It was a relief for all of them. 
The letter that Isabel wrote, however, had been left unread on her bedside table. 
It was in Norwegian, that much she knew. Apparently, the 10 year old had called up Caro to ask for some help with the language, making sure it was perfect before she gave it to her mother. 
It was a bit more than a week later, her and Mapi laying in bed one evening, Isabel fast asleep in her room down the hall. The Spaniard was scrolling through her phone, her spare hand lazily carding through Ingrid’s thick locks. 
The Norwegian was holding that folded piece of paper, staring at it like it held the secrets to the world. 
“Just open it.”
Mapi chuckled as soon as she store what her Norwegian was looking at, the familiar lined paper forever etched into her brain after such a big deal had been made about it. 
“It’s in Norwegian!” Ingrid smiled, looking over at Mapi. “Caro said I should prepare my tissues, Maria!”
“You would have cried if she said ‘I hate you Ingrid I wish you weren’t my Mama’ if it was written in Norwegian.”
Ingrid rolled her eyes at Mapi chuckled at her own joke, her phone dropping into her lap. 
“It won’t say that though. It will probably be heart wrenching because our girl is smart and has a unique way with words.”
Ingrid flopped backwards onto her pillow, sighing dramatically. 
“I’m going to be sobbing, Mapi.”
The Spaniard could only shrug. 
“Probably.”
It took a few more sighs and a couple more minutes for her to open the letter, unfolding the piece of paper at a painfully slow speed, Mapi just rolling her eyes at Ingrid’s dramatics. 
But the brunette’s eyes glazed over as soon as she saw the first line, neat Norwegian printed onto the page. 
Dear Mama. 
And so the waterworks began. 
I haven’t called you Mama my whole life, but I don’t really know why. You’re my Mama, you always have been. When I talk to my friends, I’ll call you Ingrid, but I will always question why, I’ll question why I call you that. 
I know that Mami was the one who had me, that she didn’t mean to have me and was only left with me because the people who I was named after, Isabel and Luis, died. 
She always tells me not to say that she was left with me because it makes it sound like she didn’t want me, which isn’t true. 
But Mami never had the choice, even if she didn’t want me. She was left with me, a baby. I would have been a lot of work. But she loves me and I love her so it worked and I don’t have any memories of being sad. 
I don’t have any memories of that time at all, really. No memories of anything that happened before you came. 
You had the choice, Mama. You didn’t have to choose to be my Mama. You love Mami and she loves you of course, but she had a baby. You didn’t have to take me into your arms and immediately love me as much as you do. 
You could have chosen that you wanted nothing to do with me, you could have chosen to just be Mami’s girlfriend - a step mother who doesn’t really love her step-daughter. 
But you didn’t choose that. You chose to love me and I chose to love you. 
Somehow, it seems so much more special that way. 
You’ve been there for me my whole life. You took me to Norway with you, the first time I left the country without Mami. You would look after me when she was sad, take me to the park and distract me with toys and Baloo. You were the one who convinced Mami to let me on a skateboard and you were the one who realised that I didn’t like football, taking the pressure off me to succeed at the sport you both love. 
You have been to every school awards night, concert, play. You are always there and I always spot you because you always have such a big smile on your face, one that I like to think is reserved just for me and Mami. 
And I love you so much. You make me so happy and you always have. 
I can’t believe how lucky I am that you chose to love me like you do.
Lots of love,
Your daughter Is. 
The tears that had been pouring down her face were hitting her legs as she finished reading, Mapi’s arms pulling her close as she carefully folded the paper back up, putting it in the top drawer of her nightstand. 
“My daughter Is.” She whispered softly and if Mapi wasn’t right in her space, she wouldn’t have been able to hear. 
“Your daughter Is.” She confirmed, using her finger to gently wipe away her tears. “She loves you so much.”
Ingrid could only nod, words once again failing her. 
“We both love you so very much. We are both so grateful for you and everything you do to make our lives so much better.”
“I love you too, Maria.”
~~~~~~
hope you enjoyed! please let me know what you thought and send in anything you want to see :)
have a good day!
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sceletaflores · 2 months
Text
"Dependence Is Weakness, Darling."
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pairing: older!patrick zweig x fem!reader
summary: it wasn’t just the cigarettes or the lighters. it was the way you still find yourself thinking about him. patrick, with his tangled emotions and overwhelming presence, had left an inescapable mark on your life. and as much as you wished it, he wasn’t someone you could easily erase from yourself.
—or: it's been a little over twelve years since you've seen patrick zweig.
word count: 7.8k (hopefully this is long enough lol)
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, p in v, rough sex but in a loving way, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it y’all!), semi-public sex (fucking in a car, you know i had to...), angst, swearing, cigarette smoking as a love language, slight mommy issues lmao, hints of mean!reader cause i still live for that shit, love confessions, rain scene cause i'm corny as hell, porn with SOOOO much plot, no use of y/n.
author's note: this might me the filthiest thing i've ever written lols. i actually DID get a couple asks for some more angsty patrick fics and ofc i love writing angst i'm just a girl i live for that shit. look at me doing what was asked of me and not just whatever i wanted! i'm a giver, what can i say. this fic was revived because of a few anon's who demanded it and i'm so glad they did. you guys got me to give this a second chance and i'm so proud of how it turned out. extra special shout out to @bii-aan-ckaa who fiercely advocated and waited very patiently for this! i'm so obsessed with you and your beautiful kind words. hope you love it! mwah xoxo.
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Fifteen minutes. 
That’s how long you can stomach sitting in the sticky booth of the bar watching Patrick Zweig flirt with a woman you don't recognize across the dimly lit room. Fifteen measly minutes until you were giving your friends some lame excuse of needing fresh air and leaving the table to escape out into the alley.
It’s been a little over twelve years since you’ve seen Patrick. A little over twelve years since you turned your back on him with tears spilling down your cheeks and your favorite racket a mangled, smashed mess gripped tightly in your shaking hand as you walked out of his life forever. 
Or at least what you thought was forever, you guess you were wrong.
To put it lightly, your relationship with Patrick was…complicated. You met him the summer before you started at Stanford. He was tall with green eyes and curly hair and he was kind of an asshole but he made you laugh, so you let him fuck you anyway. At the time, you thought that was it. One really good fuck with a really hot guy you’d never see again.
You thought you were hallucinating when you saw him on the campus courts two months later, when he sauntered up to you with an unmistakable “I know what you look like naked” smirk on his face. He was just as tall and had the same green eyes and the same curly hair and was an even bigger asshole than he was before. You still let him fuck you anyway.
You never thought you’d get sucked into the storm that was whatever the fuck was going on between Art, Patrick and Tashi. Never thought that it would completely ruin your self esteem, your tennis, your everything.
You weren’t particularly close to Art or Tashi in college. Sure, you were all in the same circle. That didn’t make you best friends. Art was nice enough, but he never went out of his way to talk to you. You and Tashi were on the same team but that didn’t mean anything. You respected the hell out of her and her game, and you could tell she felt the same. Even with that respect, there was still a tiny part of you that resented her. 
She was number one, the pride and joy of Stanford, had a constant slew of brands and scouts up to her ears. It seemed like no matter how hard you worked that she would always be number one. It felt like you were always just inches behind her.
Clawing and scratching your way through the ranks since you were twelve to be second best was never the plan. Your mother made sure to remind you of that every chance she got.
Then slowly, she started beating you at more than just tennis. Patrick wanted her, it was more than obvious. At first you didn’t care, he wasn't your boyfriend. He was just a guy you fucked, he could do whatever he wanted. You were friends. There wasn’t a problem.
When you realized you knew more about Patrick than just how he worked dick, then there was a problem. 
At first, all the things you knew about him were boiled down to the vulgar little tidbits you’d notice when he fucked you. You know that he has a birthmark on his lower back. You know when he’d be close because he’d always bite your shoulder before he came. You know his favorite position was really missionary even though he told everyone it was doggy.
Knowing all that was fine.
You also know that he’s allergic to kiwi. You know that he only holds his cigarettes with his thumb and his pointer finger. You’d always know when he was nervous because he’d start tapping his fingers on his thigh. You know that when he’d listen to music he loved, that his right hand would drum along to the beat just a little bit faster than his left would.
You knew all those things because you were falling in love with him, and Patrick Zweig is not someone you fall in love with. Especially not with Tashi Duncan in the picture.
You tried your best to push it down, to pretend you weren’t hurt every time Patrick chose Tashi over you. When he’d miss your games because he was with Tashi, when he’d blow you off to go meet Tashi, when he started to stop returning your calls or replying to your texts. All things you never cared about before started slowly eating at you. You felt awful most days, holed up in your room wallowing in self-pity. Your GPA was steadily dropping as the semester went on. Even your tennis started slipping, and you lost your winning streak to a fucking scrub. When you finally cracked and broke down to your mother over the phone one night she just scoffed.
“Well what did you think would happen when you started to depend on that boy? Dependence is weakness, darling.”
Dependence is weakness. You blocked Patrick’s number that same night.
It all came to a head when he blew up at you after Tashi’s injury. Everyone was pretty shaken up about it. You’d never forget the way it buckled, the way the sharp snap rang through the court, the way she fell to the ground screaming. You’d never seen her cry before. 
Patrick found you later that night, all alone on the practice courts trying to burn the day out of your mind by serving balls till you collapsed. It was the first time he talked to you in weeks. He was pissed. Screaming at you, calling you every nasty thing he could think of, getting up in your face. It was a fucking mess. You both said some things that should have never been said, but it ended when Patrick accused you of somehow being the cause of all of it.
“You hate Tashi, fucking hate her. You wanted something like this to happen. I bet you’re just over the fucking moon that she’s finally out and you can take her place. You can finally be number one seed and you're fucking ecstatic, aren't you? You’re so fucking pathetic, so desperate for validation. Maybe if mommy paid attention to you for once, you wouldn’t be so fucking needy. You're just a sad, delusional fucking runner-up, grasping at whatever shreds of importance you think you still have.”
You stood there, stunned by his outburst, each word hitting you like a physical blow. It was insane, nothing but Patrick blowing things way out of proportion in the midst of his anger.
You wanted to scream, to deny it vehemently, but the hurt and frustration choked off your words. Tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of anger and heartbreak swirling in you. Vision blurring out everything but Patrick's face twisted up with rage as he glared at you, his words lingering in the air like poison. 
You told him about your mother because you thought you could trust him. You thought he was the only person that really understood you, his dad was a piece of shit too. Him using something so delicate as material to hit you where it hurts was the last straw.
You blew up, all the things you’d been keeping bottled up for months finally boiled over in you swinging your racket down on the green concrete over and over until there was nothing left of it to break. You didn’t even look at Patrick as you walked away. You never saw him again.
You’d love to say it was also the last time you thought about him, but that would be a lie. As much as he hurt you, and as much as you hated him for it, your mind refused to let you forget him.
You still smoke Camel Blues because that was your guys’ brand, even when you should have quit years ago anyway. You still buy the same color lighter, pink. You tell yourself it’s nothing more than an easy choice, that it’s a good color. It’s not at all because you can still hear Patrick’s teasing voice in the back of your head bitching, “I can’t believe you make me use a pink lighter.” when he always forgot his and had to borrow yours. 
It’s not based on a compulsive need to be reminded of him every single time you use it. It’s just convenient, okay.
You know deep down that they were the only remnants of a past that you still couldn’t fully let go of. As much as you tried to bury those memories, they lingered, melded into the corners of your mind like stubborn stains. 
It wasn’t just the cigarettes or the lighters. It was the way you still find yourself thinking about him. Patrick, with his tangled emotions and overwhelming presence, had left an inescapable mark on your life. And as much as you wished it, he wasn’t someone you could easily erase from yourself.
Even twelve years later you’re still trying to convince yourself that dependence is weakness, that you were better off without him. But sometimes, in the quiet moments like this when the smoke curls from your cigarette and the pink lighter flickers in your hand, you wonder if he ever thinks of you, if he regrets how things ended between the two of you.
Maybe it's not that you can't escape Patrick's grip on you after all these years, it's that you just won't.
You’re so lost in your own thoughts that you don't hear the heavy door to the bar swinging open, or the sound of gravel crunching underneath approaching footsteps.
“Holy shit,” a deep voice rings out from your right, “someone pinch me.”
Your whole body tenses, your cigarette freezing a few inches away from your lips. Something like fight or flight starts to quietly buzz beneath your skin. You’d recognize that voice anywhere, even despite the gruffer, more grown up tone that wasn’t there the last time you heard it.
Your heart’s already kicking into overdrive when you finally start to hesitantly turn your head, time almost slowing down as your eyes sweep over the alley. You kind of don’t want to believe that your luck is this shitty. That maybe it was all in your imagination, that you were thinking about him so much you were starting to hear things that weren’t really there, that he was still back in the bar feeling up that blonde girl. But it can never be that easy, and sure enough, there he is.
Patrick Zweig is standing a few feet away from you with both hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans and a wide, achingly familiar grin lighting up his face.
You’re quiet for a few long moments, completely shocked into silence. Your mind races with a million different things you want to say but can’t find the voice to. You should be causing a scene. You should be losing it, screaming, crying, throwing things, slapping him hard across his unfairly handsome face. But you don’t, too surprised to even move. 
Patrick speaks again, taking several steps towards you. “It is really you, right?” he asks, eyes wide and mouth pulling into an easy, lopsided grin. To anyone else, the laid back, carefree tone he was going for would sound genuine. You can barely pick up on the stunned, almost breathless edge lacing his words, like he also can’t believe you’re standing right in front of him.
He steps into the light shining from a dingy lamp above the door, it basks around him in a yellow orange glow.
Same eyes, same ears, same Patrick.
For years you’ve thought about this exact moment, what you’d say if you ever saw him. You lose all of that practice the closer he gets. He’s less than a foot away from you now, an expectant look on his face. He’s waiting for you to say something. 
You feel like running, like stubbing your cigarette on the pavement and making a break for the door. You already ran from him once, but old habits die hard. 
You don’t run, you refuse to take the easy way out. You’re a grown woman, you’re stronger than you were in college, you’re going to the goddamn Olympics. It’s only Patrick for Christ’s sake.
“What are you doing here?” It sounds harsher than you meant, but that’s probably for the best. He doesn’t deserve kindness from you. 
“Tennis.” Is all he says, fishing out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. Camel blues. “What are you doing here?” He parrots back, smacking the bottom of the carton, plucking the one that shakes out between his long fingers. “I’d think that Miss. Team USA would be too busy for bar crawls.”
You bristle, eyes narrowing skeptically. You can’t tell if he’s making fun of you or not. “It’s not a bar crawl,” you shoot back childishly, feeling defensive under his heavy gaze. “We’re celebrating.”
Patrick just nods, letting out a small hum in lieu of replying. He's close enough now that you can see gray strands streaked through his hair. He looks older, a few barely there wrinkles creasing his skin as he pops his cigarette between his lips. “Got a light?” he asks around the filter, holding his hand out expectantly before you even answer.
It’s still just as annoying. You roll your eyes, sighing dramatically as you fish your lighter out of your skirts pocket. You place it in the open palm of his hand, ignoring the fireworks that go off at the base of your spine when his fingers catch on your wrist as you pull away.
He mumbles out a half-assed thanks, cupping his hand around the flame to shield it from the wind. If he notices the color, he doesn’t say anything. It feels wrong that he doesn’t tease you about it, staying silent as he tosses it back to you when his cigarette finally lights. You ignore the hurt blooming in your chest as you pocket it.
Patrick takes a deep inhale, the tip of his cigarette burns bright red. The way his lips wrap around the filter has heat spreading through you. “Shocked you’re still smoking,” he waves his free hand at you vaguely, smoke flowing from his lips as he speaks. “It’s not super admirable.”
You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. “That’s really how you want to start this?
“Start what?” he asks coyly, leaning his shoulder too close to you against the brick. He’s playing dumb, the smirk on his face gives him away. 
You say nothing, not trusting yourself to speak. He has a beard now, sort of patchy and fairly new looking. You wrinkle your nose up at it. 
It doesn’t surprise you that he’s acting like this. All calm and collected like he’s catching up with an old friend, like he didn’t say all those horrible things to you. As if every single word he said that night isn’t still engraved in your mind and carried with you through your whole career. 
Patrick’s quiet for a bit, taking another slow drag. “Have you seen either of them?” His voice is hesitant, like he’s treading the water of your boundaries by bringing this up. “Or am I your first?” He lets the innuendo hang in the air, trying to joke his way through something neither of you really want to talk about.
You don’t look at him, keeping your eyes trained on the part of the street you can see through the alleys opening.
You don’t need to ask who “them” is.
You just shake your head no, not wanting to have to say anything out loud and make this into a whole thing. The smoke from your cigarette swirls through your lungs, warm and familiar. 
You’ve seen them both at multiple tennis events. Things like matches, and galas, and charity auctions. Hell, they watched from the stands when you won Wimbledon for the first time. You just make sure and avoid them like the plague, always running the other direction the second you see a short bob and cropped blonde hair.
You’ve been in the same room with them countless times over the years but you might as well have been in separate worlds. The only “contact” you’ve had with them since you all graduated was weirdly ominous.
Art followed you on Instagram after you got your third career slam, but he doesn’t like any of your posts. You’re one of the mere twenty accounts in his following. You never followed him back. 
Then, when your career first started taking off, the press somehow learned about your past with Tashi. They started using it to their advantage when picking headlines for any pieces written about you. “The only woman in the world to beat Tashi Duncan!” It pissed you off to no end. It was stupid, a way to get clicks on their sad little gossip sites. And it wasn’t even fucking true.
They finally stopped when you threatened to sue their asses. Apparently, Tashi noticed.
She sent you flowers. You threw them out.
Patrick nods back, taking his own slow drag. The sound of traffic hums in the background, the music from the bar bleeding through the wall mutely. 
“Congrats on that,” he says casually, looking you up and down slowly. You fight not to squirm under his gaze. “On making the team. That’s some serious shit. I always knew it’d be you, out of all of us.”
It’s a blatant lie. You were always four out of four in college, the one person in the group with the least potential for stardom. If it wasn’t for Tashi’s injury, she’d definitely be in your place — on top of the world.
He’s trying to pacify you, to butter you up. All it does is grate on your nerves and leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 
“Did you just come out here to interrogate me? To mess with me?” you ask sharply, frustration starting to get the better of you. “Do you want a fucking autograph or something?”
Patrick laughs, throwing his head back. “Nope, I wanted to catch up. It's been a while.” he shrugs, eyes darkening ever so slightly. “I just know how much you like talking about yourself, that’s all.”
You pause, picking up on the clear implication of his words. “Excuse me?” you question, turning towards him.
“Just saying,” he says, raising his hands in surrender. “When we were younger everyone always thought I was this arrogant, cocky, self obsessed prick…” he trails off, an infuriating smirk still playing on his lips. It does nothing to soothe you, only adding fuel to the fire of your anger. “And they were all right, I was. But, that’s also exactly what you are right now.” he finishes, tapping the ash off his cigarette.
You feel it, all the emotions swirling inside you of at seeing Patrick again threatening to burst. Anger and misery waging a war in your stomach. The wind is starting to pick up around you, making goosebumps break out over your skin. The fabric of your skirt swishes around your thighs. You feel clammy, but it has nothing to do with the temperature drop. 
“Was?” you ask, condescending and mean, crossing your arms across your chest defensively. “You really don’t think you’re still all of those things?”
Patrick chuckles, shoulders shaking with amusement. He goes to say something, but you beat him to it. “I’ve changed, Patrick.” you say sternly, brows furrowing in displeasure. Your tone is hard, frustration seeping into your words. Considering the last time the two of you spoke, this was almost going well. It’s just like Patrick to ruin something before he needs to.
You know distantly that you could deescalate the situation, but maybe you’re more alike than you thought. Maybe you’re just too greedy to keep the peace. “So fucking sorry that I’m not the same person I was in college, but I actually chose to grow up.”
Patrick snorts, exhaling a plume of smoke through his nose. “Yeah, clearly.” he mutters under his breath, it’s condescending and sarcastic. It pisses you off.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask sharply, cigarette now forgotten and steadily burning away at your side. 
Patrick shrugs, like it’s obvious. “You’re still so lost. I sure as shit don’t have a red, white, and blue track suit hanging in my closet, but at least I know who I am.” He doesn't sound angry, only sure of himself, like he may have been thinking about this for a while. His face is passive, body relaxed as he leans against the hard brick.
Your jaw clenches, anger running hot through your veins. He doesn’t know anything about you, hasn’t for over ten years. He doesn’t have the right to try and talk down to you, not after all the hard work you put in to get to where you are.
“My wrist alone is worth ten million. What are you worth now, Patrick?” You’ll be embarrassed about bringing up status later, you always try to stay as humble as possible, but you’re too mad to care. You just need to hurt him, to hurt him like he hurt you. You’d heard from a friend of a friend that Patrick’s parents cut him off a while ago, that he’s been slumming it ever since. “I know exactly who I am, I’m a fucking Olympian.”
The venom in your tone is sharp, each word from your lips like a knife stabbing through the tense air trying to draw blood. “You’re a fucking nobody, Patrick. You’re irrelevant. Washed up. Buried. Forgotten.” You pause when your voice starts to shake, taking a deep inhale of smoke to try and calm yourself. Your hand is shaking too, ash falls from the burnt out tip down to the gravel. Patrick just watches you, his expression doesn’t change. Smoke billows from between your lips, blowing away with the wind. “We’re not on the same level, not anymore.” 
Patrick’s unfazed, staring back at you with his cigarette dangling from his lips. He takes it between his fingers, letting his arm drop to hang at his side. “I’ve been thinking about you.” he says casually, head lolling to the side lazily. He looks at you through his lashes, eyes sweeping over your face slowly. “I was just thinking about you, and now you’re here. Right fucking in front of me.” he shakes his head with a dry laugh. “You look…” he trails off, green eyes taking in every inch of you. “You look amazing.”
Your pulse flutters wildly, you feel so light headed, like you could pass out any second. “I’ve missed you, missed you everyday since that night.” His expression is that same half cocked grin from before, all smooth bravado and easy smiles as if he’s not staring at you like you’re the very blood coursing through his veins. All the air drains from your lungs, mind racing what feels like a thousand miles per second. 
He sounds like he means it. He looks like he means it. He can’t possibly mean it.
A loud chant ringing through your skull is the only coherent thing screaming through all the mess. Don’t fall for it, don’t fall for it, don’t fall for it, don’t fucking fall for it–
“Well I don’t miss you.” A lie. “You were nothing to me, Patrick.” Another lie. “You were just easy dick.” Your stomach twists painfully, like your body is physically trying to stop you from lying to yourself any further.
His face stays neutral, it frustrates you to no end that you can’t tell what he’s thinking. Patrick had a terrible poker face in college, you could read him like a book with a single glance. It was one of your favorite things about him, how expressive his face always was.
Now he’s just staring down the bridge of his nose at you passively, the picture of indifference. It’s another reminder of how long it’s been, that he’s lived a whole life without you in all that time. He takes a long drag off his cigarette, never breaking eye contact with you as he does.
His lips are slick and pink, just how you remember them. The beard isn’t so bad, it makes him look more rugged, more like a man. It’s the most drastic change in his appearance, far different from the smooth skinned pretty boy he was before.
He exhales, a long stream of smoke blowing past your ear. “What are you still doing here then?” he muses with a small shrug. He leans in even closer, slowly, like you were a cornered animal he didn’t want to spook. You can smell him, something woodsy with a hint of musk. You can see the clusters of freckles scattered over the bridge of his nose, almost completely faded. “If I’m nothing,” he clarifies, simple, easy. “Why are you here?”
It’s a loaded question, one he obviously knows the answer to. It’s a dick move, forcing you to confront what you’re really feeling. Your eyes start to sting, complicated emotions welling up in your throat. “Fuck you Patrick.” you whisper weakly, all the bite in your tone getting lost in your dejection. Your lip wobbles warningly, you try your best to stifle it. You refuse to cry in front of him.
Patrick’s face does something funny, turning his eyes to the sidewalk. “I need someone like that again. Someone that isn’t afraid to fucking check me, that wants me to do better and not because they just see a check or a legacy or whatever the fuck else my parents expected from me. Someone that wants me to do better because they actually believe in me.”
The honesty in his voice takes you by surprise. He gets more worked up the longer he talks, chest rising and falling a lot faster than before. Rare vulnerability slipping through the cracks of his hardened exterior.  “I fucked up that night, I know. Now my life’s a fucking mess, and I need someone to help make it make sense again.“ 
You scoff thickly, shaking your head in disbelief as you fight back tears. “And I’m that person?” you ask skeptically, brow raised in question.
“You always were,” he replies easily, his face forming into a sad smile. He almost sounds like his old self. Your brain flashes the image of Patrick leaning outside the door of your science lecture, waiting to walk you back to your dorm. He’s smiling wide enough to show teeth, looking down at you with brilliant green eyes, just like he is right now.
Suddenly, he wasn’t the boy that broke your heart on a tennis court twelve years ago. 
He was the boy that held your hair back when you threw up after drinking too much at a frat party and still stayed the night even though you didn’t hook up, his chest pressed against your back like a security blanket the whole night. He was the boy that let you make friendship bracelets on the handle of his favorite racket, and secretly kept the one you made for him braided around the neck for weeks until you finally noticed the fraying blue strings still in place when he forgot his tennis bag at your dorm room one night.
Suddenly he wasn’t anything but the boy you fell in love with when you were eighteen years old.
You swallow hard, heart pounding against your ribcage. Your cigarette falls from the slack grip of your fingers, plummeting to your feet where it burns out on the pavement. 
It’s like you lose control of yourself, like all your morals get shot out of a cannon into the sun. You’re lunging forward before you know what you’re doing, fisting the fabric of Patrick’s shirt and pulling him down to meet you halfway. Your first kiss with Patrick in twelve years.
It’s a mess of teeth clashing together roughly, with way too much tongue and spit to be classified as romantic. It’s desperate. It’s angry. It’s fucking filthy and it’s exactly what you need.
Your tongue forces its way between Patrick’s lips when he gasps in shock, mapping out the familiar territory of his mouth like muscle memory. His big hands fly up to hold onto your hips as he eagerly returns your kiss, pressing you up against the brick and sucking your tongue lewdly. He tastes like smoke and bottom shelf whiskey. You moan into his mouth, wetness starting to seep through the thin material of your panties.
You stay like that for a while, just kissing until Patrick slides the hard line of his cock against your hip strategically. You moan at the size of it pressing onto you through his jeans, breaking the kiss to inhale a couple lungfuls of air. “You’re not fucking me in an alley.” You say bluntly as he trails wet kisses down the side of your throat.
He laughs, nipping at your collarbone teasingly. “My car’s a block away,” he offers between kisses.
You think about it for a second. Deciding on whether or not you’re going to let Patrick fuck you in the backseat of his car like you’re two horny teenagers and not full grown adults.
“Lead the way.” Is all you say, finally letting yourself smile when Patrick starts to drag you away from the bar. 
You shoot your friends a quick text letting them know you decided to head home early, already in the uber you ordered when you’re actually letting Patrick drag you across a blessedly empty parking lot to an old SUV parked in the middle. A completely one-eighty from the Porsche he used to drive.
He takes a second to press you against the door, capturing your lips with his again. It’s a slower kiss, sweeter than the one you shared outside the bar. You feel butterflies erupt in your stomach when he cups your face, gently rubbing his thumb over your cheekbone. He fumbles blindly for the car door with his other hand, pulling it open and pushing you into the back. He follows closely, climbing in and shutting the door behind him.
Patrick’s back on you in less than a second, yanking at the buttons of your shirt impatiently, fingers too big to work them through the holes as fast as he wants to. He lets out a frustrated growl, grabbing both sides and pulling hard. The buttons all go flying in different directions, landing in different spots around you.
“That was three hundred dollars,” you mumble against his lips, not wanting to stop kissing him for even a second. He looms over you, broad and all encompassing. He sits up to yank his own shirt over his head, tossing it aside and popping open the button of his jeans.
“You can buy another one,” he says simply, shucking his jeans and boxers off all in one go. His dick is long and lovely, tip red and drooling pre-cum that drips all the way down to his balls. Your mouth waters, desperate to taste it, to feel the weight of it on your tongue and down your throat. You push it to the back of your mind. There’s no time for that, both of you too keyed up to do anything other than fuck.
Patrick leans down, biting your bottom lip hard enough to make you moan. He turns his attention to your pulling skirt down, panties going with it and getting tossed onto the floorboard carelessly. His eyes zero in on your bare pussy, wet and on display. The cool air shocks your system, making you want to press your thighs together but Patrick’s hands keep you spread open.
“Fuck,” he whispers quietly, moving to roll the knuckle of his right index finger over your slick entrance, just barely rocking it into you. You gasp, your whole body trembling with need. “Just like I remember.” He mutters to himself, pushing in the smallest bit deeper. 
Your leg kicks out, patience starting to wear thin. “C’mon, Pat.” you mewl sweetly, bucking your hips up in a clear invitation. “Fuck me.”
Patrick shifts up onto his knees, silently shuffling closer to your spread thighs. His cock juts out from his body, so thick and heavy that it doesn’t point straight up, instead hangs angry and red between his legs. His big hands slide halfway up your thighs, you shiver at the way they skirt across your skin lightly. He presses you backwards by them, leaning over you with your legs slung across his shoulders.
His cock drags across your inner thigh, trailing a sloppy line of pre-come as it does. You nearly wail, wrapping your arms around Patrick’s broad shoulders as you beg for him to give you what you want.
“God Patrick! Put it in. Please, put it in. Let me have it, please, fuck–,” you beg frantically, arms tightening around his shoulders like you’re trying to drag him impossibly closer to you. He goes willingly, burying his nose in the soft skin of your neck. He presses a small kiss directly over your pulse.
“I’m gonna give you this cock, baby.” he whispers lowly, hot lips brushing against your skin with every word. He slides the head of his cock through your wet folds, stopping to rub it over your swollen clit a few times. “Gonna get all up inside you and fuck you exactly how you like.” He slides the length down, letting his tip catch on your empty, clenching hole.
You’re so damn worked up, writhing and pushing back and begging Patrick to just fuck you already, that you can’t take anymore teasing. Your hole contracts around the tip of his dick like it’s trying to suck him in. He sinks in deeper, slowly feeding every thick inch into your aching cunt.
“God,” Your name falls from his lips in a shuddery breath that fans over your fluttering pulse. “You still smell the same.” It’s the same stunned, breathless tone from when he first saw you. He presses his face cheek to cheek with yours, the rough texture of his beard scraping against your skin. 
Patrick moves his hips against you slowly, deep strokes that drag every thick inch of him against the walls of your cunt. The tip of his cock stabbing that sweet spot inside you that makes stars glow bright on the ceiling of his car each time you blink. The angle has his balls pressing against your cunt as he fucks into you, the excessive pre-come leaking from his tip mixing with the sticky wetness of your juices leaves an obscene ring of creamy white around the spread hole of your cunt. It sticks wetly to the base of Patrick’s cock with each thrust, shining back at you on his skin when he pulls out.
The slow thrusts feel amazing, but you know it’s not enough. You need him to pound into you, to bully his big cock into your cunt like he’s getting back at you for shutting him out. You need him to fuck you. 
“Harder, Pat…” you whine breathlessly, clawing desperately at the polyester seats.
He groans loudly, hips immediately speeding up, getting rougher, meaner. He leans up to get more power behind his thrusts, breaking your tight hold on his shoulders. “This is where you belong,” he grits out, sweat dripping from his forehead to fall onto your heaving chest. The sharp smack smack smack of his hips bruising your ass gets louder, the lewd noise filling the car. “Where you should have been this whole fucking time, spread open on my cock.”
The only thing you can even get out anymore are pleading whines and loud moans of Patrick’s name as he pounds into you like he’s trying to kill you. The harsh snap of his hips inching you further up the backseat until your head’s knocking against the doors handle on each mean thrust. Your feet bounce by his ears, body almost completely folded in half so all you can do is lie there and take it.
The car rocks steadily, anyone who spares a glance at the SUV will know what’s going on inside. 
Patrick sneaks a hand between your legs, fingers sliding over your swollen clit. You scream, throwing your head back in pleasure as the calloused tips over his fingers work you over. “Fuck yeah,” Patrick mutters, turning his head to lick and bite at your ankle. “You’re so fucking sexy, so fucking beautiful. I missed you so much, missed this pussy.” His voice is pinched, hips fucking into you impossible faster.
The wet squelching noise of your cunt is filthy, splattering against Patrick’s heavy balls with each thrust. “I know she missed me too, didn’t she baby?” he taunts, eyes wild and blown out. “Taking my cock so well, squeezing me so fucking good.”
“Close,” you gasp out. Patrick pitches forward, licking into your parted lips as he rubs tight circles over your clit faster. He kisses you sloppily, smearing spit all over your lips and chin. His sweat drips onto your face and mixes with your own, it should be gross, but it makes you even wetter. The primal part of your brain overjoyed to be claimed by him. He lifts his fingers up the tiniest bit, smacking them over your clit with the smallest amount of force.
Your orgasm hits you suddenly, back arching off the seat wildly as you gush around his cock. You claw at his back desperately, nails raking down his skin hard enough to leave angry red welts in their wake.
“Shit– that’s good, milk it out of me baby, work for this fucking load.” he groans, hips not slowing down as he chases his own release. His breath puffs over your skin, the rhythm of his hips starting to falter the closer he gets. You whine, trying your best focus on clenching your cunt over his cock in your fucked out state. “That’s it, baby– God – you’re gonna make me come, squeezing me so tight I can barely fucking move…” he growls, teeth sinking into your neck hard.
You hiss sharply, nails digging into his skin as the pleasure starts to become too much. He licks over the bite mark, like he’s apologizing. “Gonna fucking come inside you, fill you up so good, fuck–”
His rambling dissolves into a loud groan, hips giving one last thrust as he buries himself as deep in your cunt as he can. You feel rope after rope of warm come flood your insides, painting your walls with it. It feels like hours, him unloading into you with cut off moans and grunts. 
You're still desperately trying to catch your breath when he finally starts to pull out of you as gently as he can. The red tip of his cock popping free lets the river of his come leak out from your abused hole, spilling out of you to drip onto the car’s seat.
Patrick curses at the sight, scooping the white, creamy mess onto his fingers so he can fuck it back into you. You hiss at the over stimulation, thighs squeezing together around his hand. Your chest is still heaving, breathing erratic as you slowly come down from your orgasm. Patrick tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear, smiling warmly as he takes you into his arms and shifts around until he’s sitting up against the door with you curled into his chest.
The windows are steamy, melting all the streetlights outside into a swamp of warm colors on the glass. They shine through the car like sunlight piercing through a stained glass window. You feel light and hazy, like you’re in a dream. Patrick’s body grounds you, firm and familiar against your back. It’s quiet for a long time, only the sound of soft breathing fills the car. You're scratching your nails through the hair on Patrick’s chest when he finally breaks the silence.
“There’s…” he says into your hair, trailing off near the end. He’s idly tracing shapes on your lower back. A circle, a square, a circle, a diamond, a square, a heart. “There’s this challenger in New Rochelle in a couple weeks, I’m entering it. You should come.” 
Your heart drops, the delicate cloud encompassing you and Patrick forcefully ripped away in less than a second. You’ve already heard of this challenger, seen all the publicity it’s been getting since Art’s name came up in the conversation surrounding it. The ‘Phil’s Tire Town Challenger’ is all anyone can talk about. 
If Art’s there, she will be too. Sitting in the stands in a classy Ralph Lauren two piece, watching her husband and Patrick on the court, looming over the two of them for the first time in years. You can’t stomach the thought of seeing her. You can’t stomach the thought of Patrick seeing her, terrified that the second she spares him a glance you’ll be right back where you were in college, an afterthought left in the dust for something better.
Your stomach lurches violently, you feel nauseous. The heat of Patrick’s backseat becomes almost unbearable, making it harder to breathe. You rip yourself away from him, tearing through the backseat to find your clothes. 
Patrick startles, sitting up with a concerned look on his face. “Jesus, what's wrong?” You can feel the warmth of his hands hovering over your back, not sure if he should touch. “What did I do?”
You don’t say anything, you can’t. Your throat feels tight, chest constricted and heavy as you try to take in lungfuls of air. You tug on your skirt and panties haphazardly, grabbing the first shirt you find strewn across the car's floor and yanking it on. You know it’s not yours but you don’t care, too busy trying to shove your shoes back onto your feet and push open the door all at once.
Patrick questions you the entire time, voice confused and insistent as you tumble out into the parking lot. The cool air feels like a life jacket, the smell of rain fills your nose as you try to steady your erratic breathing. You’re still trying to tug your right shoe on as you start to speed walk away from his car.
You can hear the sound of feet slapping behind you on the pavement as you walk. A strong hand wraps around your bicep, whipping you around. Patrick only has his pants on, shirtless and barefoot in his haste to catch up with you.
“What the fuck are you doing? What’s wrong?” He sounds genuinely concerned, his eyes searching your face closely. It makes tears burn hot at your waterline, blurring your vision and falling to trickle down your cheeks when you try to blink them away.
“This was a mistake, Patrick.” your voice is thick with emotion, you try to wrench your arm out of his grip. He doesn’t let go, not squeezing tight enough to hurt but to try and keep you in place. You need to leave, to get as far away from Patrick as you can before you’re in too deep. “Please, let go.” Your voice is small, shaky and weak and so unlike you. The panic from the car is still wrapped around you, growing tighter every second you spend with him.
Patrick shakes his head wildly, raindrops slowly start to fall onto his bare shoulders. “No, fuck no! We can talk about this. We just need to talk–”
“Patrick stop!” Your voice cracks embarrassingly, loud and desperate as you double your efforts to free your arm. “Please just let me go!”
You don’t know if it’s the way you said it or the look on your face, maybe it’s a bit of both, but something makes Patrick let you go. Dropping your arm from his grip and letting his own hang limply at his side.
Rain starts to come down all around you, large drops hitting your skin and soaking the cotton of your shirt. You let yourself meet his eyes, they're sad in a way you’ve never seen before. The green turned dull and lifeless. It looks wrong on him.
When you can’t stand the hurt look on his face any longer, you leave. Walking away deeper into the rain, small puddles splashing up around your shoes with every step. You hope Patrick doesn’t follow you, that he lets you go. You’re doing him a favor by making the choice for him, it’s easier this way.
“You know, I think I really loved you.” He calls from behind you as the rain really starts to pick up. His voice almost gets swallowed by the thunder, you wish it would have. 
Against your better judgment, you look back. Patrick hasn't moved, still standing in the middle of the parking lot. The rain is making his hair stick to his forehead, starting to seep into the denim of his jeans to darken the gray. 
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly, voice tiny and pathetic. Patrick probably couldn’t even hear you over the wind whipping through the air. He stares back at you, there's too much distance for you to see the look on his face. You turn on your heels and keep walking.
It’s nostalgia in its sickest form, the dark familiarity of the situation washing over you with the rain as you walk away from Patrick again. Ignoring every call of your name and desperate pleas for you to come back is new, you can’t tell if it hurts more or less than the silence of last time.
You wrap your arms around yourself, tears mixing with the trails of rain running down your cheeks. It’ll make it easier to convince yourself later on that you weren’t really crying, that it was just the rain. Tomorrow you’ll wake up and this will all be behind you. Patrick will be fine, he doesn’t really love you. In a few weeks he’ll go to the challenger and forget all about you. 
You hear your mothers voice ring out in the back of your head as you walk.
"It's for the best, my love. Dependence is weakness."
You hope to God that she's right.
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angelbarelywrites · 6 months
Text
♡ slashers scenarios | y’all accidentally adopt a kid
♡ fandoms; Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original + 2006), Dead by Daylight, slashers (general)
♡ characters; Micheal Myers, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer
♡ reader; gender neutral
♡cw; parenthood (?), mentions of violence
♡notes; i work with toddlers all day yet still somehow get baby fever- so here’s this i guess lol.
i can’t see Brahms as a dad so skipped out on him this time, Vincent is iffy too but we might come back to him
•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•
Micheal Myers
> micheal never wanted to be a father before he met you
> he knows for a fact he has something terribly wrong with him
> and while it never bothered him…it was far too dangerous to pass on
> but the way you light up when little kids on the street wave to you
> how you talked about building a family when you got drunk and sappy
> and how soft and gentle you were holding your friend’s baby…
> he knew you’d be the perfect parent, good enough to balance any bullshit he was bring to the table
> so it’s maybe not a complete accident when he stalks into the house with a banged up stroller out front
> the baby is crying, his parents passed out from some shit they snorted in the living room
> it makes his job easier when he slits their throats, and he’s sure as hell not sympathetic
> not that he ever is
> he follows the cries upstairs- a tiny little boy is wailing in his crib
> but he stops and stares at Micheal, blue eyes wide as he looms in the door
> at first Micheal thinks the racket it going to start again and braces for the scream
> but the boy reaches for him eagerly instead, making grabby hands and squealing
> it takes a bit of snooping but Micheal finds some paperwork after he’s secured the child in a carrier
> Miles. The boy’s name is Miles, and he’s ten months old- just tiny for his age
> you think he’s fucking with you when he sets a baby carrier on your table that night
> “…that’s Miles.” He mutters and walks away
> you’re pissed but you can’t say you have anything but an urge to protect this tiny boy
> he has red hair, and light freckles and the sweetest disposition
> he’s perfect, surely Micheal wouldn’t just steal a child…not without good reason
> and you notice Micheal still lingering, watching you both
> you try not to smile
> “…well. Gonna help me find somewhere he can sleep or not?”
Thomas Hewitt
> when Charlie brings in the little girl, Luda Mae is beyond excited
> she had no idea the couple she’d sent down their road had a baby
> her dark curls and chubby legs and ruddy pink cheeks remind her so much of Thomas at that age too
> not too far off from one if she’s got it right
> she’s thinking selfishly, she’s always wanted a daughter
> but Thomas’ eyes go so wide when you both walk in
> he’s in awe of the tiny lil thing sleeping against his mama’s shoulder
> he won’t hold her, terrified of hurting her
> but you’re eager to take her for a bit and he gets real close, chin hooked on your shoulder so he can inspect her closely
> she’s all giggles as she touches his mask
> and you’re nearly in tears when she snuggles up against you
> “…yknow…i’ve been thinkin. i’m much closer to grandmama age than mama age now”
> you say yes before Luda can finish her ask - there was nothing you wanted more than a child with Thomas
> he’s hesitant, but he already adores her
> you have no way of knowing her name, so what you should call her is a bit of a hot topic for a few days
> Charlie wants to name her Charlotte because he’s a self centered bastard , and Luda Mae has about a thousand suggestions that come from baby books decades older than you
> but you let Thomas decide
> Audrey Mae Hewitt is what he chooses
> Audrey from a book he read
> Mae from his mama
> and it suits her perfectly
Bubba Sawyer
> “hey cook! look what i got!”
> Drayton about beats Choptop in the plate when he sees him carrying a toddler under his arm like a log
> but he’s kind of impressed such a scrawny dirtbag can carry a chunky kid like that
> the little boy is a healthy weight for two or so, with lil chipmunk cheeks that dimple when he grins
> and the cutest damn mullet you’ll ever see
> Drayton is getting too damn old for this, and there’s only one person he trusts even a minuscule amount in the house
> so he just. hands him to you when you walk into the front room
> “congratulations, it’s a boy”
> you’re confused but excited
> and a bit concerned with how he and Bubba will feel once the man gets home
> a kid is a big commitment- and a man that wears people’s faces can be scary
> but Bubba immediately squeals and beelines for the little one when he staggers in
> they both tilt their heads curiously before the boy tries to climb up his leg
> when he picks him up, the boy gives a huge belly laugh, kicking his legs
> you choose his name- politely declining your boyfriend’s brothers’ insistence on Lil Choppy or Drayton II
> Jedediah Junior sounds perfect to you - little JJ
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corroded-hellfire · 6 months
Note
I've got this image in my head of very pregnant!AYW reader sitting outside with her feet in a kiddie pool, letting the older boys splash around and keep her cool on a hot day. Maybe a cooler full of frozen treats at her side.
I have had this one in my ask box forever because I wanted to write something I’d be happy with and I think I’m there lol. I hope it makes you happy as well 😘
Words: 1.4k
[As You Wish masterlist]
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Of course. The August that you’re seven months pregnant is the hottest summer Hawkins has had in over fifty years. Of course.
Eddie could see how the heat was getting to you. Sweat would dot your forehead just moments after you’d step outside. Your ankles had swollen to almost double the size. It hadn’t escaped anyone’s notice that you were a little more irritable than usual as well. But your husband wasn’t sure what he could do to comfort you. Usually, his way of comforting you included wrapping you up in his arms but the one time he’d attempted to do that you’d given him a death glare that blazed hotter than the weather. He’d learned his lesson after that: no touching when the temperature is above a hundred degrees. 
One early Saturday afternoon, you and Luke are eating lunch while Eddie and Ryan run a few errands. Luke had wanted to go too, but ever since you started your third trimester, Eddie didn’t like the idea of leaving you by yourself. 
It’s quiet between you and your ten-year-old son when the back door bangs open, making you jump and swivel around in your seat–which was no easy task. Perspiration runs down Eddie’s forehead, Ryan’s own golden brown hair plastered to his forehead from the moisture. Patches of Ryan’s gray shirt are black and clinging to his skin from the sweat. If Eddie’s black Iron Maiden shirt weren’t so dark, you know you’d see the same thing on him. Despite how hot and sweaty they both look, they both have smiles on their faces and Eddie looks quite proud of himself.
“I f’ought oo were goin’ to da store,” you say around a mouth full of pasta salad.
“We did,” Eddie said, breaths labored.
“And we set up a surprise for you!” Ryan adds, his beaming grin stretching from ear to ear. 
“And me?” Luke asks optimistically, craning his neck to look over at his father and brother.
“Actually, kind of,” Eddie says with a shrug. “Come on.” Your husband waves the both of you over towards the back door before remembering he should help you up out of the chair–even though you’re capable of doing it yourself. 
The boys both run ahead of you as Eddie stays back with your waddling pace. It feels like no sooner than your bare foot hits the grass of the yard than sweat begins to break out along your hairline. You swear you’ll never complain about the winter being too cold again. 
“It’s small,” you hear Luke say. 
Your eyes catch on the short inflatable kiddie pool set up in the middle of the backyard, two white and blue striped lawn chairs set up beside it, and a large red cooler between them. The garden hose is hanging inside the pool, the green tube writhing like a snake as the water whooshes in to fill the empty space. 
“Cause it’s a kiddie pool, duh,” Ryan replies to his brother. 
“I thought,” Eddie starts, reaching up to rub your shoulders before catching himself, not wanting to make your discomfort worse, “you could sit out here with your feet in the nice cold water. Might help your ankles, too. And you know these two monkeys are always splashing so you’re bound to get caught in the crossfire.”
“Hey,” Luke protests, but Ryan nudges him with his elbow because they both know that their father is right. 
“And…” Eddie takes your hand and gently leads you closer to the chairs, where he opens the cooler that’s nestled between them. Inside there are different flavors of ice pops, ice cream bars, and cold drinks, all enveloped in gallons of ice that have a pleasant chill wafting off them. 
Words become trapped in your throat. Your wonderful husband did all of this for you just because he knows how the heat has been making you feel lately. And after you’ve been a pain in the ass. This would’ve made you emotional even if the hormones didn’t beat you to the punch. 
“Eddie,” you say, all other speech cut off as your bottom lip begins to wobble.
“Uh oh,” Luke whispers.
“No, could be a good thing,” Ryan mumbles back quietly. He was slightly better at understanding the emotional aspect of hormones than his little brother. 
“This is so sweet,” you say, turning to cup your husband’s face in your hands. 
“You’ve been hard at work cooking that bun in the oven,” Eddie says with a shrug. “Oven needs some cooling down though, she’s getting overheated.”
“Ahem,” you hear from behind you. Ryan moves into your peripheral vision, and you turn your head to look at him, sliding your hands down to Eddie’s shoulders as you do. The eldest brother is clearly holding something behind his back, and you scrunch up your brow as you look at him.
“Whatcha got?” you ask.
Eddie huffs out a small chuckle and presses a kiss to your temple before saying, “Ryan found something at the store he says is on every ad for the beach.”
“You bought me sand? The ocean?” you tease the boy.
Ryan rolls his eyes, another reminder that he’s a preteen now. 
“No,” he says. From behind him, Ryan brandishes a floppy hat, and he is certainly right—a woman is wearing one of those in every ad for the beach.
“Ryan, I love it!” you exclaim with a giggle. The grass crunches beneath your feet as you waddle over the few steps to the boy. He holds the straw hat out to you, a bright grin on his face at your happiness. 
“You know,” you say as you accept the hat from him, “I’d bend down so you could put it on my head but then I wouldn’t be able to stand back up.”
“Like crowning a princess!” Luke adds as Ryan laughs.
“Well,” your husband says, coming up behind you, “it’s a good thing I’m taller than Ryan then, huh? Or we could’ve just made Luke help you back up.”
Eddie plucks the hat from your grasp, the straw scratching lightly against your fingertips as he pulls it away. He steps in front of you, and you keep your head level, only raising your eyes to watch Eddie’s pale, toned arms lift to place the floppy hat on top of your head gently. 
“Your Highness,” Eddie says, bowing his head. Your giggle makes Eddie grin as he gestures towards the lawn chairs. “Your throne awaits.”
Twenty minutes later it’s as if the summer heat were merely an annoying insect that you’re only somewhat aware of. Even though the chill water of the miniature pool only goes up to midcalf, sloshes of water have hit you all the way up to your neck. The cool beads of moisture feel like heaven as they meander down your red tank top, though. The denim shorts you’re wearing will weigh a ton later since the boys’ splashing has gotten them so wet, but Eddie’s such a pro at taking your clothes off that he could use a little challenge this time. 
Luke and Ryan manage to find games to play in the small pool—after Luke’s failed attempt at Marco Polo, anyway. Toy boats glide through the water, a few of them on the grass from flying overboard. The two boys shout but they’re outside and having fun, and it’s nice to hear. 
The sound of the back door slamming shut reaches you as you tilt your head back, protected from the sun by Ryan’s thoughtful gift and the sunglasses you grabbed when you got changed. Eyes closed, you listen to footsteps in the grass as Eddie walks your way from the house. They come to a stop and you sense as he crouches down next to you. Lazily, you loll your head to the side and crack your eyes open. 
“How’re my girls?” Eddie asks, placing his right hand over the soaked red shirt covering your baby bump.
“Mmm, good,” you hum. “She’s very happy you bought strawberry shortcake bars.”
“I’m glad she liked them,” Eddie says with a chuckle. “What about you, princess? How do you feel?”
You pretend to consider his question for a moment before speaking.
“Kiss me?” 
You pucker your lips and there’s no hesitation as your husband leans in and gently presses his own against yours.
“Perfect. Now I’m perfect.”
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facefullofsadness · 7 months
Note
The world needs guitarist winter!! 🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥 (i die a little each time i see her with a guitar)
AGREE!!! everyday that has passed since 230225 winter playing guitar at synk hyper line in seoul for the first time has just been me trying to recover and seek guidance bc damn, she ruined my life and it's all I've been able to think about
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content - rockstar guitarist!winter, best friend's sister!winter, dom!winter, includes txt members (beomgyu and yeonjun) and giselle, song references, smut (messy and wild sex, slight degradation, fingering, cunnilingus, strap-on usage, choking, breeding kink, quickies, squirting, vibrator usage, semi-public sex/voyeurism)
wc - 3122
a/n - a loaded one since it's been a while. I had sm fun writing this in general, but especially a certain part (I think u'll be able to tell when u get there), I was laughing my ass off so fking hard. also I just got a haircut that's very wolf-cut-y so it helped a whole bunch to get into writing this lol, committed to the bit!
winter's a damn good guitarist.
she's fuckinggg hotttt too when she plays and she knows it. watched a vid of her recently doing her guitar solo during girls and after the final riff she smirked at the camera and I LITERALLY COMBUSTED DEAR LORD.
anyway, I imagine her in a rock band, one with beomgyu, and they're both just the hot, wolf-cut, dark emo guitarists. you're the lead singer and front man of the band and were the reason the band formed in the first place. you were besties with beomgyu and you two wrote and composed music from time to time, always having the idea of a band as a passion project at the back of your minds.
eventually, gyu recruited his sister, minjeong. the three of you worked together diligently, recruiting yeonjun as a drummer who knew and dragged along aeri as a bassist. it was truly a dream come true, getting to pursue what you're passionate about the most with your best friend and a group of people just as enthusiastic as you were.
though, it was hard to focus with such a pretty girl like kim minjeong breathing down your neck at all times. you, beomgyu, and minjeong would primarily work together on music, usually going from the afternoon until after midnight hours. while minjeong was only a few months older than your best friend, she'd boss him around and push him to go home, saying it was late and that their mom needed to see at least one of them to know they were okay. he'd groan and complain about it, especially since you and him were the main collaborators for songs and were the best when you were together, but she'd always promise to take good care of you, whatever that meant (huehuehue).
beomgyu cares more about you as a little sister than he does his own sister so when he gets confirmation that she'll take care of you, he accepts it and goes home early, leaving you and minjeong in the studio alone. you bite your lip as you watch the door close, your friend leaving you behind with her.
"just you and me now, huh pretty?" the girl leans into you on the couch.
you shift uncomfortably at the close proximity and try to subtly scooch away, "uh yeah, I guess so... we should try to finish this arrangement before we get out of here."
you try your best to compose yourself and act professional, hearing minjeong's deep chuckle next to you, "alright then."
actually getting work done and writing some lyrics alongside figuring out the instrumental arrangement with minjeong since she's the other guitarist, besides beomgyu (also bc he left). you tell her that you get frustrated with the fact you're not that good at playing, her having asked why you don't just make the arrangements yourself. and so, she decides to teach you! well, "teach you."
placing her acoustic Silvertone on your lap and crawling up slowly behind you, her warm body pressed up against your back, the brush of her lips against your ear making you shiver. she brings her arms over and places her hands over yours, guiding them around the strings and assisting with the chords.
she whispers deep and raspy into your ear various instructions, "if you cover this entire fret and press down on these strings, you'll get the F Barre chord. it's a little difficult but nothing you can't manage, right princess?"
"the placement kinda hurts..." you complain, feeling the burn of the metal strings against your skin.
"it'll be a little painful when you start, but with practice you'll get better. you have to press down harder than that though," her pressing your fingers down harder against the nylon strings.
whining softly at the pain, making her lips come closer to your ear, "come on baby, you can do it, a little pain goes a long way. I know you can handle it."
a chill runs down your spine at her words, proceeding to repeatedly attempt to strum the chord correctly until the sound was full.
"good girl, it wasn't that bad right?" you turn to face her, her lips just centimeters away from yours.
your breath picks up at her proximity and a smirk tugs at her lips, moving her face into your neck and hotly sighing against it.
"how badly do you want it, hm? how badly do you want me to fuck you like a rockstar?"
your grip on her guitar tightens as her mouth trails around your neck, gasping when you feel her tongue drag across slowly.
"what do you think you're doing?"
"nothing you don't want me to already, sweetheart."
you lean into her touch, moving your hand away from the body of the guitar to lace your fingers through her soft wolf-cut hair, pulling her head in further into your neck, now placing wet kisses against the skin.
you suddenly shoot your eyes open at the realization of what you two are doing and stutter, "I-I don't think we should be doing th-this... we need to finish the arrangement... and also, y-your brother, what will h-he think?"
you stumble over your words as minjeong just hums in response to, continuing to leave sloppy marks across your neck, feeling her make hickeys on parts of your skin that wouldn't be noticeable.
"we have all the time in the world to finish the song. but what about gyu? did you want him instead then?" she asks, almost threateningly, challenging you to say yes.
in response, you whimper and pull her head in further towards your neck, practically begging her not to go away.
"don't you feel ashamed letting your best friend's sister do this to you? or are you just a slut?"
you don't answer, only shut your eyes and bite your lip. minjeong doesn't like that, resulting in her hand to pull you by the hair backwards, head facing the ceiling. your eyes shot open at the contact and you see her blown pupils staring into yours.
her voice comes out low and dark, "answer me whore. tell me what you are, I wanna hear you say it."
you gulp down a lump in your throat, debating if you should listen to her or to your morals. all sense jumps out the window when she sexily raises her eyebrow at you, an expectant expression sitting on her aroused face.
fuck it whatever, she's too fucking hot, "I'm your slut, minjeong, all yours."
finishing the arrangement? what a joke! she has your legs spread wide open on the soundboard, skillful fingers pumping in and out of your squelching cunt, your head thrown back, moaning into the hot air of the studio. her one hand plunging deep into your pussy while the other one is wrapped around your waist, holding you close, keeping your thighs propped open with her body. and she's just watching you, her mouth slightly open and lips a deep dark plump red, her messy hair tousled, bangs sticking to her sweaty forehead. she loves watching how your face contorts in response to her digits curling to hit that delicious spot in your hole, hitting it repeatedly, her palm slapping against your clit with every quick thrust of her hand. the sounds of your croaky moans, wet and clenching pussy, and her heavy breathing fill the sound-proof room, the thought of productivity not even grazing either of your minds.
the pleasure built so much, you felt that knot in your stomach tighten. minjeong quickened her pace as she felt your legs start to shake around her, sensing how close you were to cumming. it was all too much and you suddenly orgasmed, crying out moans with every wave of delight that surged through your body, thighs trembling, eyes rolled back and mouth hung open, your hands gripping her shoulders for dear life. she intently watched with a lustful stare at every expression your face made while you came, memorizing how good you looked when she fucked you. pulling her fingers out and collecting every drop of cum you leaked onto her hand and wrist, licking it clean until a thin sheet of her saliva remained.
"open your fucking mouth and stick your tongue out," she demanded with a deep voice.
you obeyed and gagged, feeling her tongue shove itself down your throat, forcefully swallowing her saliva and your cum. drool seeped out the sides of your lips as she continued her onslaught in your mouth, feeling her clothed hips grind against your sensitive clit, moans slipping out of your throat in the form of gags.
she'd pull away suddenly, tongue exiting your mouth with a wet slurping noise, making you cough. "you. are. mine. remember that."
she'd remind you, running her damp fingers through her hair.
these late night escapades continued to occur with every single long session held in the studio (she definitely recorded some audios of you guys fucking for sureeee). the creative part of you wanted beomgyu to stay and help with the music, but the sinful part of you so desperately wanted him to leave as soon as possible to have his sister all to yourself. your best friend never caught on to you and minjeong, but oh, yeonjun and aeri caught on like THAT. the tension between you two was so palpable, the two older members would side eye you during practices and giggle to each other, watching the two of you eye fuck from across the room.
eventually, the band's popularity would build and proceed to skyrocket, leading to your guys' first tour. tour meant performing together, traveling together, being with each other, and ultimately, tour meant being with minjeong. and so when management would get 3 hotel rooms for you all, 1 for the boys, 1 for the girls, and well, 1 for aeri being the sleeping beauty she is, rooming with minjeong meant a few things. practicing together, writing and composing together, and sleeping together (for the girls in the back, SEX).
throwing you onto the bed as soon as you reach your hotel room, tearing your clothes off and pinning you down, sloppily kissing each other. she'd prep you by eating you out, sticking her wet muscle inside of your leaking core, caressing your walls and flicking against your g-spot. you bit down hard on the pillow, muffling your moans as her thumb covered in her saliva rubbed against your throbbing clit. her pulling away right before you came and putting on a strap-on she brought on tour (for you of course!), wasting no time in thrusting it into you.
the pillow probably did nothing to silence your screams as she mercilessly fucked you into the mattress, hand pressing down on your lower stomach to feel her cock pumping in and out of you, the tip of her dick hitting your cervix again and again, her thumb still stimulating your clit. minjeong had your back arching, your hands flew everywhere, trying to grip onto anything to ground yourself, but nothing was enough, even as you screamed and bit down on your pillow. your eyes watered and your vision blurred as she rammed into you, the dark-haired girl moving her hands to wrap around your neck, choking you, gradually adding pressure with every rough thrust. her pants eventually became moans too, loving the feeling of the side of her strap hitting that delicious spot inside of her too, slapping her clit against yours as she bottomed out in you.
"I'm gonna fucking cum in you y/n, I'm gonna knock you up, fill you up until you're leaking both of us," minjeong growls above you, lowering her face to level with yours.
you feel tears fall down the sides of your face and your throat sore from another scream ripped out of you as well as her hands around your neck as she throws the pillow in your mouth onto the floor, attaching her mouth to yours instead. you cry onto her tongue as you orgasm against her strap, toes curling and legs wrapped around her waist, nails digging into minjeong's shoulders, cum gushing out of you as you feel her cock shoot fake ropes of white liquid into you, filling you up. you feel her shake in your arms too as she cums, her pleasure leaking out onto your thighs, soaking the bedsheets. she collapses on top of you, both of you desperately gasping for air, her dick still inside of you, keeping the fake cum from leaking out.
"good thing we have another bed."
of course being on tour also meant fucking in the green room before a performance. having done interviews all morning, having a concert for the tour tonight, minjeong was so mean! she had you wear a vibrator the entire day! it would be on the lowest setting up until the interviewer would ask you a question. she would turn up the intensity and you would squirm as you tried to answer, gripping your ripped jeans, almost causing another tear. and so when you two were left alone in the green room for just a minute, she took you right then and there, your legs wide open on the sofa, her mouth stimulating your clit while she increased the vibrator's setting to max, thrusting it in and out of you.
you were screaming in pleasure, all the built up tension in your stomach finally being relieved with each pump of the sex toy in your pussy. you clutched onto her leather jacket for dear life as you came all over her face, squirting everywhere. she licked as much as she could and you both worked quickly to clean before anyone came back. your members, staff, and the fans would notice you limping around on stage that night, winter with an especially evil smirk resting on her face.
being on tour also meant getting fingered in the bathroom backstage. it's literally 10 minutes to showtime, but minjeong NEEDED to fuck you now! her calloused fingers pumping in and out of you while you reciprocated fingering her too. both of your skirts hiked up and panties pushed to the side (no safety shorts? idk this is fiction, ignore it!), moaning desperately into each others mouths as you messily and sloppily made out against the bathroom stall door. curling your fingers at the same time, biting down on her lip while her fingernails dug into your thigh at the feeling. rolling your hips against her palm to stimulate your clit, her repeating the motion and pinning you harder to the door so that your bodies were flush against one another.
screaming into each other's mouths as you came at the same time, cum dripping down your wrist. quickly cleaning one another up (with your tongues, yup) and running to your places since there was literally THIRTY SECONDS to showtime! beomgyu confusedly looking at you two in frustration, asking where you guys had been, yeonjun and aeri rolling their eyes laughing, still lowkey irritated that you guys were LITERALLY FUCKING instead of getting ready to perform smh. everyone definitely noticed the redness in both of your cheeks. winter had fingered you with her calloused hand, the dampness making it more difficult to play the chords during that show, the band noticing the change in effectivity too (how technical!).
at some point, the fans would notice the tension between you two. who wouldn't ship the lead singer with the guitarist in a band anyway right? especially when it's the hot dark wolf-cut emo guitarist winter and the stunning pretty charismatic lead singer. but of course that wasn't the only reason, you guys were soooo obvious. you're singing the flirty and seductive lyrics towards her, minjeong returning a smirk back at you and sticking her tongue out while she fingerpicks her guitar, raising her eyebrows when she does. trailing your fingertips over her bare skin in skimpy outfits they'd put her in onstage, singing the lyrics into her ears.
or literally just flat out fucking saying it. like having those soundcheck Q&As where fans would ask you questions like "if you were to date one of the members, who would you date?"
answering each other's names at the same time, causing everyone to laugh in the audience, beomgyu gagging, and yeonjun and aeri holding back laughter. minjeong following up by saying something like "I mean, it's not like it hasn't happened before." LIKE WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
or when you and winter are in an interview and they ask what the inspiration was behind a particular song, let's say a more sexy song, and she responds first, "well, every song that we've written has influences from our own personal experiences."
the interviewer would be like, "so then is it true when you sing quote 'I might fuck your friend, I made my mind up'?"
you blush profusely and winter just dies laughing, "I'll let you guys decide that one."
"y/n, you wrote "we go for hours and it's still good" correct?" the interviewer continues.
"yes yes but the details don't really matter do they?" you nervously laugh while minjeong drills holes into the side of your head, staring at you with a playful and sinister smirk on the side.
my favorite headcanon to think about is online discourse regarding you and minjeong. your guys' new mv dropped for your latest single and there are a bunch of scenes with you and winter acting like an angsty couple in the rain, making up in the end by having an alluded to sex scene (lmao, wild if this actually would ever happen).
I just imagine twt going INSANEEE.
slut4winter: DID Y/N AND WINTER FUCK AT THE END OF THE VIDEO?!?!?
y/nonechancepls: i literally cannot defend minjeong and y/n anymore...
beomgyuswolfcut: bro, winter fr cucked her brother from y/n 😭😭
aerifuckinguchinaga: win-y/n's chemistry is a lil too real yall 💀
drumjunyeonjun: not them saying it was their fav scene to film, the closet is made out of AIR, IM SICK OF U F WORDS !!!
and of course, despite all of this, your dear bestie and minjeong's brother doesn't catch on. at times, beomgyu will be all what the fuck is going on when you two say something that has double entendre or has some sort of underlying meaning.
yeonjun usually just pats him on the back while laughing, "oh my friend, never change, never change."
aeri being such a nosy friend LOVES hearing you rant about it, chin propped up on her fist, leaning forward against the table, a cheeky grin on her face. with every spicy detail, she's always just like, "girllll, you're insane and wild, but good for you!"
a/n - like rq, through a guitarist pov, winter is so attractively good at guitar it pisses me off. also headcanon songs this band would make are like wdywfm by the neighbourhood, sex by the 1975, do I wanna know by arctic monkeys, and slow down by chase atlantic. incredibly self indulgent hc and WHAT ABOUT IT!!
682 notes · View notes
runningfrom2am · 7 months
Text
red blazer (c.s.)
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pairing: coryo x fem!reader
wc: 2k
tags/warnings: reader is arachne's "little sister" (they're like, a year apart lol but she GIVES little sister), sexual content if you actually squint, arachne is mean but in a big sister way, otherwise it's just cute and kinda funny. idk. enjoy!
requests (currently closed- feel free to send whatever but it will be a while before I get to them!)
nav / coriolanus snow masterlist
a/n: omg second ever coryo oneshot from me. LISTEN- i know i should do more of these BUT i loveee doing series for him bc his personality is SO fun to work with. anyway lol, check out my coryo series'.
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"Maybe if you spent less time annoying me and my friends you would make some of your own." Arachne hums, sensing you standing in the doorway to the dining room where she and her friends were apparently working on some kind of assignment.
"I didn't even say anything!" You whine. "I was literally just coming to say hi."
"Well, don't. No one wants to say hi to you."
You pout, staring at her and crossing your arms. "Can I sit? Just for a few minutes? I won't even say anything. I won't bother you, I promise." There was an extremely tempting empty seat across from your sister and next to her friend Coriolanus that you'd been eying since you walked in.
He was just so pretty, so well composed, so tall, you were in love. Your crush on him had been lifelong, and with him only thirteen months older than you, it wasn't at all weird or totally unattainable. That's what you'd been telling yourself, anyway.
Arachne rolls her eyes, slamming her pen down on the table. "I already told you, the fact that you even exist is annoying to me. So, no. Go. Away."
"Arachne, it's fine if she sits for a few minutes." Clemensia cuts in, eager to just be polite but it makes you smile, nodding excitedly.
"Yeah, not everyone is as easily distracted as you are." Your heart flutters in your chest as Coriolanus comes to your defense, and you're already across the room and sliding into the seat next to him.
"You underestimate how annoying my little sister is." Arachne mumbles through gritted teeth, already looking back down at her textbook.
Coriolanus looks over at you and smiles, making the butterflies in your stomach erupt into a panicked frenzy.
"Hi." You whisper, cheeks flushing red.
"Hi." He replies quietly, his tone apologetic.
To Coriolanus Snow, Arachne's little sister was an outlier to her incredibly stuck-up family. She acted out often, was no stranger to commanding the attention of every room she entered, and to him, was the most beautiful girl to ever walk the academy halls.
So every time a group project or paper was assigned, he was forcing himself into the seat next to the oldest Crane daughter and requesting that they work together.
"Maybe at your house? Like usual?"
And it worked, one hundred percent of the time.
"What are you working on?" You whisper, leaning your elbow on the table and looking at the books he had laid out in front of him.
"Nothing fun, I assure you." He chuckles quietly, and you ignore your sister's glare that you could feel burning into your forehead.
"That's boring." You sigh quietly. "What's your favourite class?"
"Law."
"Law?" The way you scrunch up your nose and question his answer makes him smile. "I am sorry for you."
He laughs even though you weren't joking, about to ask what your favourite class was when he's stopped by your sister shouting.
"Mom! Y/N's annoying us, make her go away!"
In a flash, you're shoving the chair back and darting out of the room, disappearing down the long hall of the penthouse.
You were adorable. He knew at that moment that he had to have you.
Being Arachne Crane's "little" sister was a nightmare all on its own. She was annoying, she hated you or at least acted like it, and despite being the baby of the family it felt like every day you were making desperate attempts to claw your way out of her and your brother's collective shadow.
Maybe that's all this was. Did you really like Coriolanus, or did you just like annoying your sister?
The thought crossed your mind only momentarily before Coryo tugged gently at your hair to turn your head so he could detach his lips from yours only to move his kisses and gentle bites to your neck.
Nope, there was no way this had anything to do with your sister.
You let out a soft sigh, holding his shoulders to support yourself as you straddle his lap on the edge of your bed. "Coryo..." You whine, pouting because you know he only has so much time before his absence from the dining room would be truly noticed, and he was dragging this out more than he probably should.
"Tell me what you need, pretty girl." He hums into your skin, his hold on you shifting your hips and tightening over the waistband of your underwear- the only remaining article of clothing on your body.
"Hurry." You mumble, tilting your head down to capture his lips again.
"I told her I was leaving." He tells you between kisses. "We have all the time in the world." You can feel the smile on his lips against your own, and you match it in excitement.
By now, you'd been sneaking around for months. It had been fun, but certainly exhausting.
Worth it. One hundred percent worth it. You think to yourself as he lifts you to turn you over and lay you back on your perfectly made bed, leaning over you and reattaching his lips to your neck.
"How will you leave?" You ask breathlessly as his large hand finds your waist again, gentle but firm in its hold.
"We'll figure it out." He mumbles, clearly very far from concerned about it.
You're almost too caught in the moment to hear the banging on your door that causes you both to freeze, heads snapping in the direction of the sound.
"Y/N! Where's my shirt?! I know you took it!"
Arachne.
"Shit, shit, uh-" You panic as Coryo very quickly jumps off of you, tumbling loudly off the bed and onto the ground getting caught on the edge of your duvet.
"What the hell are you doing? I'm coming in-"
"No!" You shout, panicked as you look around. "Uh- one second, I'm naked!" Not entirely a lie. While Coryo gathers his academy uniform that's scattered across the floor, having left him only in his black boxers, you pull a towel off the back of your door and wrap it around yourself.
You have to hide him. Quickly scanning the room, you have three options: your walk-in closet, under the bed, or in your bathroom.
"Get in the closet." You whisper, quickly shoving him toward the door.
"I don't care, I need my shirt!" Arachne says, the sound of her opening your door masking the sound of your closet door closing.
Your chest is rising and falling quickly as she marches in, immediately looking around. "God, what took you so long? You look like you're having a heart attack." She mutters, digging through the laundry basket that was yet to be taken by the house staff.
"I was about to have a shower." You answer, forcing yourself to not look in the direction of the closet.
"Right." Arachne rolls her eyes, stomping into the bathroom to begin looking there.
"Why the hell are you showering at six pm? We have dinner at the Creed's in an hour." She calls out.
"That's obviously why I'm having a shower." Honestly, you had totally forgotten about dinner.
"Yeah, you probably should. It stinks in here."
You roll her eyes at her comment, but they widen in horror as her warpath begins toward the closet. "No! Wait!" You stop her, clutching the towel to your chest as you step in front of the door to stop her. "Uh- what shirt are you looking for?"
"Which shirt? The white one, with the lace trim collar. Oh my god, do you have more than one?" She asks angrily.
"Oh, that one is in the laundry. They took it yesterday." You lie and she groans, walking back toward the door.
"I hate you! God, you make everything so difficult." She mutters, stopping on her walk back to the door and looking at the few articles of clothing scattered around your bed. You follow her gaze, biting your tongue and internally cursing when you notice Coryo's blazer that was dropped haphazardly on top of the pile. She picks it up, looking it over with a furrowed brow. You watch as she looks over at yours, which is neatly pressed and folded for the morning sitting on your desk chair.
"A men's medium." She says as she reads the tag, pausing before turning back to you slowly, this time, with an off-putting smile on her face. "Who's in the closet?" She whispers, and your face burns more than it already was.
"No one." You answer quickly, possibly too quickly.
"You're lying." She states, and you shake your head quickly. It doesn't go over her head that you look like a deer caught in the headlights. "Then you won't mind if I..." She says, starting off slow before breaking into a run toward the door which you instinctively block with your body, gripping the towel with one hand and holding out the other arm to block her while you fight for the door handle handle.
"I knew it!" She hisses, finally giving up and pointing a finger right at your nose. Quickly, she looked back over her shoulder toward the open door to make sure no one else was around before she spoke again. "Is it Allium?" She asks quietly, for some reason suddenly interested in who you spend your time with, and if it's with that boy in your year who continually gets on your nerves.
You shake your head again, swallowing thickly.
"Tell me who it is."
"No one!" You lie, already knowing the bit was up as she tosses the blazer back to where she found it.
"Ugh, you're no fun." She rolls her eyes, shoving you gently before turning to leave. "Whatever. I don't care. Just don't get pregnant- I know you're stupid and all but Mom will skin you alive."
"Get out!" You snap, walking over and shoving her out the door before slamming it behind her.
You hear her laugh as she walks away, steps receding down the hall back in the direction of her own room.
You let out a tense sigh of relief, waiting a moment to hear her door closed before going over to the closet and opening the door.
Coryo is still laughing to himself as he buttons up his shirt and tucks the back of it into his pants. "Stop!" You exclaim in a whisper, giving him a gentle smack on the shoulder but you can't help but laugh as well. "It's not funny!"
"It's pretty funny." He says lowly, leaning down to kiss you softly.
"It's not that funny." You roll your eyes playfully. "We could get in serious trouble, sneaking around like this! God- it's crazy." You sigh, shaking your head as you step back into your room, suddenly serious.
He follows, sensing your worries as you drop the towel with your back facing him, quickly pulling a t-shirt on to cover up. "We can't- we have to stop." You shake your head, talking mostly to yourself.
"Hey, woah, that's a little rash, don't you think?" He asks as you turn back to face him.
"I don't!" You insist. "I mean, it sucks, but this is far too risky. We're done with... whatever this is."
Coryo shrugs, clearly unaffected by your concerns. "Let's just... next time, let's just go for dinner or something."
You tilt your head at him. "What? That's not, we can't-"
"Why not?" He asks, closing the space between you and reaching his hands out to grab your waist. "Your sister will suck it up eventually. Once she realizes how in love you are with me."
"I- I am not in love with you!" You protest, cheeks flushing pink again. "And even if I was, which I am most definitely not, she would scalp me. She doesn't care, I can't date one of her friends."
"Let me handle her." He insists, once again shrugging it off. "I'm being serious. I really like spending time with you, would it be the worst thing if we were together?"
"Wait, like, you're asking me out?"
He gives you a quick nod, still smiling at you.
"I- I mean sure, if that's what you want." You nod, blush spreading evenly across your nose. You had to blink a few times to confirm you were awake and that this was real.
"I'm asking if that's what you want." He chuckles.
"Yeah, yes. Of course." You shake your head, trying to get your thoughts straight and pull yourself together. "I would like that, Coryo."
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whimsiwitchy · 19 days
Text
Controversially Young Girlfriend (part five)
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Hugh Jackman x popstar!reader 
series masterlist & main masterlist
summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men. 
warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns, sexual themes.
warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. I do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything!! <3
authors note: the wait is over. yay! This isn’t how I expected this part to end but I let my mind take charge…plans change. I hope the end is okay, i’ve never written anything like that before so i’m a little nervy for y’alls reactions lol. let me know what you guys think! Enjoy <3
part five: new york changes you
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The whole ‘friends for now’ deal you set with Hugh has been an enthralling experience so far. A month has passed since that night in your living room, a month of struggling to resist the charisma of Hugh Jackman. Right now, your two lives couldn’t be more different: your album had dropped three weeks ago, one week after the deal was made. It has been an absolute success with four of your songs sitting in the top ten since the drop. You were doing interview after interview and rehearsals for your tour started up this past week. Meanwhile, Hugh was living the simple life. He has been done with his Deadpool and Wolverine promo for some time now and he’s been enjoying his free time. That was something you didn’t have much of as of recent- free time. You were trying to balance the few moments of freedom between all of the people you cared for, which mostly consisted of Ashley and Hugh. It’s gotten to a point where you were inviting your friends to the tour rehearsals just to be able to see them. When the idea first popped up, you had been afraid that they would be too distracting but the outcome was the opposite. Having a mini audience that weren’t part of the tour team, allowed everyone to make changes to things with the input of outside opinions. Ashley and a small group of your other friends were rehearsal regulars now.
You’d been seeing Hugh more privately, both of you agreeing to stay out of the public eye for a little bit while the dating rumors died down. Ashley had been a little too enthusiastic about your decision to be Hugh’s friend and nothing more. You loved reminding her that it was hopefully a temporary situation while we decided if being together exclusively was the right choice for both of us. She liked to ignore that part. Her despisement towards Hugh has been a mystery to you. She was always a little protective over you, as any normal friend would be, but it had never been to this extent. 
“Ash, do you wanna come to rehearsal tomorrow. We’re finally putting the choreography on the actual stage. I think you’ll like it. It’s gonna be fun.” You ask. The two of you were currently at Target shopping for her new apartment. “Uhhh of course. I need to catch up on all of the songs I missed. Then maybe you’ll consider putting me up on stage.” The last sentence comes out more singsongy than usual as she tries to convince you. She has brought up being on stage so often, you were beginning to feel bad, but she was a shit dancer. You didn’t have the heart to tell her. “Cool. I have to be there at seven, but I was thinking you guys could show up at noon. That’s when we’re scheduled to move over to the stage.” Her eyes light up. “Ooo. Who else is coming? Please tell me you invited Taylor again, she’s fun.” She rambles on as she pushes the cart through the lamp aisle. “Oh. I didn’t invite the girls again. It’s uh…it’s just gonna be you and Hugh.” She puts the lamp she’s been observing back onto the shelf. “Actually, I just remembered I have plans tomorrow.” She states flatley and starts to push the cart again. You follow her, waiting until you enter an aisle that was free of people before confronting her. “Ashley, don't be like that.” You whine. “I’m not being like anything y/n. I just forgot I had plans.” She shrugs as she busies herself by looking at the bathroom decor on the shelves. “What do you have against him?” You blurt out. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Cut the shit Ash. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I can’t even mention his name without you trying to change the subject. I can’t even talk to my best friend about the guy I like because of this weird fucking grudge you have against him.” She stares at you, giving you a few slow blinks before speaking again. “Fine. I’ll be there but I can’t promise I'll be civil.” 
You didn’t push her any further, her answer was good enough for now. Target wasn’t the right place to fight with her about this and it probably wouldn’t do any good anyway. As much as you loved Ashley, she had a tendency to do and say wherever she pleased but when it came back to her, she played victim. It was becoming harder to deal with now that you weren’t children anymore. Later that night, while on facetime with Hugh, you decided to warn him about the shitshow which he was bound to end up in tomorrow.
“I’m not really sure what her deal is honestly. She won’t tell me why she doesn’t like you.” You pout. “It’s okay baby, not everyone is going to like me. I can handle it.” 
The endearments had been something that Hugh didn’t drop after the ‘just friends’ talk. You thought about talking to him about it but the words sounded too good rolling off of his tongue. You argued that it wasn’t any different than your other friends calling you ‘babe’- it wasn’t the same at all but you didn’t care. You knew it meant more to both of you. 
“I know, but it would be really nice if you two could be friends, ya know? She just gets too overprotective I guess…” You tell him, not really believing your own words. “You don’t have to come tomorrow if you don’t want to. We can pick another day for you to come if you feel like it’ll be too awkward.” “Tomorrow is fine y/n. Everything will be okay. Don’t think about it too much, I’m sure I can charm her a little bit, get her on my side.” He assures you.
Ashley was on her worst behavior and it was pissing you off. It felt like you had covered Hugh in blood and thrown him to the sharks- when you think about it, he probably would have had a better shot at fighting off the sharks. The entire day so far had been full of eye rolls and snarky comments. When you had a moment alone with Hugh, all you could do was apologize for her behavior and he swore it was fine, it wasn't your fault. Ashley was acting weird towards you the entire morning. When you offered her to get up and learn some choreo, she brushed you off saying that she still needed to wake up. You glanced over at Hugh and Ashley every few minutes as they talked. It looked civil. The music was too loud to hear what the conversation was about and it was making you nervous. Hugh kept his eyes mostly on you as he spoke but Ashley’s were set on Hugh, never looking your way. You tried your best to ignore it, focusing on doing your job.
 For one of the songs, you would be giving one of the dancers named Ethan a lap dance. He had become a good friend over the past year you had known him and he made the whole grinding on him thing a lot less awkward than you thought it would be. “Are you and eye candy over there still playing friends?” Ethan asks as he gestures towards where Hugh and Ashley sat. “Yes..but it’s more lenient. Kinda like dating but nothing exclusive.” You explain, eyes on Hugh. He’s looking back at you and you’re sure he can tell that you’re talking about him. “You should do the dance for him, since he’s a special guest today and all.” He offers, smirk present on his face. “You don’t think that would be too mean? I want him to want me but I don’t wanna ruin the man. At least not yet anyways.” A similar smirk to Ethan’s was rising to your lips at the thought of Hugh being flustered over you. “I think you should do it.” You think about it for a moment and shame yourself for how quickly you made your decision. “You’re a bad influence.” You tell Ethan. Hugh’s eyes are still on you and you point your finger at him and wiggle it, motioning him to come here. 
“I’m gonna go sit down, have fun.” Ethan says and goes down the stairs to the stage as Hugh walks up them. “What’s up sweetheart?” He asks. “Ethan isn’t feeling well right now, would you mind standing in for him? You don’t have to do anything, just sit in that chair.” You point to the metal fold up chair that sits in the center of the catwalk. “Yea I can do that.” His smile is authentic, happy to help. “Thank you baby.” You say and you reach up to leave a quick kiss on his cheek. You pick up the mic that you sat on the stage floor earlier and turn it on. “We’re ready to go for the next one.” You announce through it so the sound crew could hear you. They announce ‘places’ and Hugh sits down in the chair. You walk over to the marker on the floor that indicates your starting position for this song. It’s about five feet behind Hugh’s chair, leaving him clueless on what’s happening. 
The song starts and you strut to the beat until you reach the chair. Your hands are on either side of Hugh’s chest and you move your hands around the same way that you had practiced many times before. His chest was hard and you could feel the muscles of his pecs. You slide your hands up to his shoulders and walk slowly around the chair until you're right in front of Hugh. The song slows at this point, giving the perfect moment for you to slowly drop yourself into his lap, arms around his neck. There’s three quick beats and you bounce up and down. Hugh’s eyes are wide in surprise. He’s a lot taller than Ethan and his thighs hold more muscle. It took a moment to get used to as the routine went on. The entire dance was pretty stereotypical: a lot of grinding, ass popping, and touching. You spent a good majority of the song whispering the words quietly to Hugh. He kept his hands to himself, not wanting to interrupt whatever move you had to do next. When the song ends, you’re out of Hugh’s lap and standing a foot in front of him for your ending pose. The crew gives you the okay to move and you turn back to Hugh, mischief present in your face. “Thank you Hugh!” You squeal, giving him a quick hug once he stands up. “Yea. yea…You’re such a tease.” He says the second part low enough so only you hear. As he walks back to his seat, you could have sworn you saw him trying to discreetly reposition whatever was happening in his pants. 
During your lunch break, Ashley’s strange act continued as she made up some excuse for her to leave- you could tell she was lying. Hugh and yourself ended up ordering subs from some local deli and ate in your dressing room. “So what do you think about everything so far?” You ask, referring to the choreo you’d been learning for the past three hours. “It’s…fun.” You huff at that. “You’re so terrible at describing things Hugh. Oh my god.” You complain. “I’m sorry…It's good.” You give him a blank stare, not satisfied with his answers. “Okay okay, don’t give me that look. You’re phenomenal…watching you dance and feeling you dance on me is making it really hard to just be your friend.” He shrugs, taking another bite of his sandwich. His answer makes you blush, familiar butterflies fly around your tummy. “Oh.” It’s all you could say. “You don’t have to accept my invites if it’s too hard on you.” “Hm. That’s not it, babe. I definitely want to be here. Wouldn’t have wanted to miss that little stunt you pulled earlier.” He winks as he refers to the lapdance. 
Comments like that had been frequent throughout the past month. Hugh Jackman was a natural flirt. That was a fact you had the pleasure of learning from personal experience and the displeasure of learning from the internet. You had seen countless videos of him being a flirty slut- as a married man. It worried you and had been something you’d been thinking about nonstop since the discovery. Him flirting with you was one thing, but you didn’t like the idea of him flirting with others when he was ‘yours’. You’d also seen videos of him mentioning multiple times that he liked older women, which had become another concern that ate at your brain. Last week, Hugh had come over for a movie night and you planned on casually mentioning the apprehension you had around the issue. 
“Sooo, I heard you liked older women?” 
Casual had never been your thing. 
“Uh..yea. It’s a preference of mine.” You could tell that the question made him uncomfortable. The tiny little toxic part of your heart was happy about that. You let out a short hum. “What was that for?”
 “What was what for?” 
 “Your little ‘hm.’.” You shrug as you speak your next words. “It’s just interesting.” 
 “What’s interesting.”  “You having a preference for older women.”  
“How is that any different from you liking older men?” He asks genuinely and you could honestly smack him right now for not seeing the issue and you would if he wasn’t across the couch. “Hm. I don’t know. Maybe the fact that I’m currently interested in an older man and you’re straying quite far from your preferences Mr.Jackman.” He lets out a deep belly laugh. “Why are you laughing at me?” You cross your arms, a small pout sits on your lips. “You're jealous.” He smirks. “I’m not jealous. I’m skeptical.”  “There's no reason to be.” His eyes are gentle.  “If you say so.” You didn’t want to damper the mood but your mind was filled with ‘what ifs’ and you needed reassurance.
 “Hey. Come here sweet girl.” He motions for you to sit closer to him. You crawl over and his arm drapes over your shoulder. Your head rests on his chest and his cheek is resting on the crown of your hair. “I promise you have nothing to worry about. I like you and only you.” “Pinky promise?” You look up at him, holding out your pinky. He lets out a chuckle and links his pinky with your own. “Pinky promise.” He was looking down at you. You were staring in his eyes, watching the reflection from the flame of the pumpkin pie scented candle that sat on the coffee table flicker. He slowly leaned down, allowing his lips to softly touch yours. It was a lazy kiss, lips moving every few seconds. You could feel every part of Hugh’s lip slide against yours. The slowness of it all was arousing- the heat from his body wasn’t helping. The upward stretch of your neck became sore after a few minutes,  giving you the perfect excuse to climb into his lap. The makeout session lasted about thirty minutes, never speeding up, both of you enjoying the intimacy of the demure, slow kisses. You ground your hips into his in an undemanding manor, not wanting to rush the moment, just needing to feel him against you. A few whispered moans were thrown about, a few neck kisses here and there. The rules were beyond broken that night. You liked to imagine what would have happened if there wasn’t a knock on the door from the food you ordered earlier. 
Your cheeks heat up at the memory as you pick an onion off of your sandwich. Hugh was right, you were a tease. That night, he had initiated the kiss but you turned it into so much more. You could've stopped it, blaming it on the pain in your neck, but you wanted more. With Hugh, you always wanted more. It was your stupid idea to be his friend first and it was torturing you. “What’re you thinking about, pretty girl?” Hugh asks, dragging you out of your thoughts. “Nothing...These onions are too strong.” You flick the onion you picked off onto the paper that was once wrapped around your sub. “You sure that’s it? You can talk to me babe.” He’s sincere. He’s always so patient and caring towards you. It makes your heart swell. “I was thinking about our movie night.” You admit. “Anything in particular from that night?” He asks, knowing exactly what you’re thinking about, the wide smirk on his stupid perfect face makes that obvious. “I wasn’t thinking about that, you perv. I was thinking about how I forgot to tell you that I’m going to New York next week.” He didn’t need to know that you were for sure thinking about every detail of his dick that you could remember and you really did forget to tell him that, so you weren’t technically lying. “Hm. I wonder what made you forget?” Smirk still plastered on his face. “I’m gonna ignore that comment.” And you did ignore it, immediately talking about your upcoming trip. “It's kinda gonna be my first time there. I performed a show there but I was gone the next day. I have an entire four days to explore this time. Well except for when I work but whatever.” You shrug at the end, voice filled with excitement ready to see the city in its full glory. “What do you have scheduled when you’re out there?” 
“I have a photoshoot, meetings, then the Tonight Show.” 
“First time on Fallon?” you laugh. “First time on any big talk show, I'm so fucking nervous.” 
“Don’t be. Jimmy’s a great guy and you’re good at talking. It’s easy to pay attention to you.” 
“Do you pay attention to me because I'm a good talker or do you pay attention to me because you think I'm pretty.” You were completely fishing for a compliment and you carried no shame for it. “Both.” 
Hugh had become a really good friend and not just because the two of you shared an occasional kiss. He was there for you when you had no one else. The next day, Ashley came over and you tried to ask her why she lied about needing to leave rehearsal early. She either gave a vague answer for each question or completely dodged it. You never asked Hugh about what they talked about, wanting the answer from your best friend, but it was looking like you would have to turn to him to get closer to the truth. You invited her to New York the second you found out you were going. Trying to get her out of her funky mood, you brought it up, asking if she was excited that it was coming up so soon. She quickly agreed to the excitement but each word came out flat and uninterested. About an hour after she left your house, you got a text. 
bestie boo: hey. i’m actually not gonna be able to make it to new york. sorry, ttyl. 
The text caught you off guard but it wasn’t a total surprise due to Ashley’s behavior while she was at your house. That didn’t mean it hurt any less though. The consistent dodginess from her made your throat tighten up. Your first instinct was to text Hugh, so that’s what you did.
You: hey, are you busy rn? 
Hugh <3: Hi baby. No, I'm not busy. What’s up?
You: can you come over? :(
Hugh <3: On my way! 
When you opened the door for him, worry was written on his face. “What’s wrong?” He takes off his shoes, the same way he has the past few times he’s come over. “I feel like you’re always asking me that.” You slump over slightly. “I gotta make sure my girl is okay.” All of the sadness you had over Ashley almost vanished entirely. “I’m your girl?” You ask looking up at him. “Of course you’re my girl y/n. Just waiting for the day you wanna label it.” He smiles down at you and offers his hand. “Now c’mon, tell me what’s got you all blue.” You grab his hand and he follows the familiar route to your living room couch. He sits down and pulls you down towards him. You’re sitting next to him, your side against his. He pulls your legs up so they lay across his lap and he rubs slow circles into your thigh.
 “What’s got that pretty face of yours frowning?” He pinches your thigh lightly as he asks the question. “It’s Ashley, she’s being really weird Hugh. She always tells me things and now she’s just…not.” He has his own frown now. “I’m sorry baby….Is this about me again?” 
“Kinda but not totally. I just wanted to know why she doesn’t like you. You’ve become so important to me and I plan on having you around for a while. She’s been my best friend since we were kids, I want her to like you and be able to be around you.” You put your hands over your eyes, your palms applying  pressure on them to prevent the tears from falling. All the pent up frustration was starting to reach its limit. “Hey, look at me.” He grabs your chin, a gesture he’s done more times than you can count. “Don’t let me come in between your friendships.” You sigh. “It’s not your fault Hugh.” 
“I…I think it might be my fault a little bit.” He admits with a guilty expression, making your heart sting. “What do you mean?” 
“She uh… Ashley might have flirted with me yesterday. I shut it down but…” He sighs nervously. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t know how to tell you to be honest..” The room around you both felt stuffie and too small. The tears that were held back by the palms of your hands just a few minutes ago, spill out. You were feeling too many emotions: hurt, anger, betrayal. 
This wasn’t the first time Ashley had done something like this. She’d done it with Pedro when the two of you were already together. The only difference is that she felt so guilty that she confessed. This time, Ashley was too much of a coward to tell you what she had done to your face. You didn’t want to lose your best friend but you couldn’t keep her around when all she seemed to do was hurt you. Hugh holds you as you cry, not saying a word. He leaves little kisses on your head and tells you that ‘it’s okay’ over and over. He let you cry without knowing what it was you were crying about. You felt so stupid to have let this slip past you. It had been almost the exact same situation before. Ashley acted weird towards Pedro, she starts being vague, and then you find out what she did. Déjà fucking vu. You couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s funny sweetheart?” Your mind had been racing so fast, you almost forgot that Hugh’s was still here holding you. He had gone still, the only reminder of his presence was the weight of his arms around you. “I just can’t believe she did it again without me noticing. I feel dumb.” His body jerks in surprise. “Again?” 
It was Saint Patrick's day and you were at Ashley’s place getting ready for a party. It was a weird holiday to throw a party for but people used any excuse to get drunk. Leading up to this day, Ashley has been yapping non stop about going to her first celebrity party but tonight, she couldn’t have been more quiet. You excused her behavior for nerves, not questioning it more. Her demeanor has been different for a few days. Ashley wasn’t one to open up quickly or talk about her problems. You only pried as much as you could before being shut out and right now you had been completely blocked off. You tried your best to ignore it, trying to focus on the night ahead of you. 
Billie is who had invited you to the party as the two of you grew close. Being the same age, doing the same job, and experiencing the same things made it impossible for the two of you not to be friends. The party was going to be filled with people you’d never met before, so you asked her if you could bring a person or two- Ashley and Pedro. It was when you told Ashley that Pedro would also be coming, that her prior eagerness for the party dissipated. 
Just as you sat down to start your makeup, Ashley finally spoke. “Y/n…I think I’m gonna skip out on the party tonight.” You lift your head to look at her through the mirror.“What, why? We’ve been talking about this for weeks.” 
 “I just don’t feel like going anymore.” She’s scrolling through her phone. “You’re such a shitty liar, Ash. What’s up? Why don’t you wanna go anymore?” You turn the spinny chair your in to face her. She put her phone down and the look on her face was one you wouldn’t ever forget. It was a look full of guilt, shame. You were trying to comfort your best friend while she was about to tell you the most heat shattering words. “I don’t think it’s smart to be around Pedro.” Your brows knit together in confusion. “Why not. I thought you guys were good now, that you liked him?” She’s fidgeting with her hands. “Y/n we kissed.” 
“Who kissed?” You ask, hoping you were misinterpreting what she was saying. “Me and Pedro.” You hadn’t misunderstood her words. 
Your heart shattered. Pedro has only been your boyfriend for a little over a month but it still hurts. You were still in the honeymoon phase, where everything felt like love even though it was just over infatuation with the new relationship. Without thinking about it, you started collecting your things to leave, gathering the makeup you just placed onto the table back into its bag. “What are you doing?” Ashley asks nervously. “I’m leaving.” She didn’t try to stop you. 
When you got home, you felt numb. There was a strong ache in your chest where your heart sits but there wasn’t an ounce of emotions flowing through you. The betrayal of the person you trusted most in this life was worse than any other pain you could think of. You spend hours laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling, when a knock finally pulls you out of whatever trance you were in. “Hey baby. Ashley texted me saying I should come check on you.” He steps into the house and follows you down the entry hall. “Oh I didn’t know you guys were on texting terms now…” You trail off for a second, not leaving Pedro enough time to say anything before you speak again. “Huh…You know, I guess it would make sense, seeing as you guys are apparently on kissing terms.” You stop and stare at him, looking dead in his eyes. He winces. “She told you about that.” The statement pisses you off. “What the fuck do you mean ‘she told you about that.’? Were you planning on keeping it a secret?” Your voice gradually rises alongside the anger in your body. “No, but I-” 
“but fucking what Pedro? You kiss my best fucking friend and then hide it from me??” Your finger hurts from the pressure of pointing it into his chest. “I didn’t kiss her.” You ignore him. “When did it happen?” “Baby, listen to me. I didn’t kiss Ashley.” He ignores you. “WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?” You scream at him, all of the emotions spilling over. You sink down to the floor, abandoning your prior standing position, and you cry. 
“I didn’t kiss her babygirl. I would never hurt you like that.” He sits down next to you, his back against the wall. You don’t speak. “It was last Tuesday, when she came over to talk to me like you asked her to. She said it was because you wanted her to like me, for us to be friends. She started acting differently and before I knew it she was kissing me. That’s all that happened baby.” He explains as he runs his fingers along the baby hairs on your forehead. “You didn’t kiss her?” You look into his big brown puppy eyes, searching for the truth. “I didn’t kiss her.” He affirms. “I promise, babygirl.” 
“Pinky promise?” He interlocks his pinky with yours. 
You didn’t speak to Ashley for two weeks after that incident. You wanted so badly to know why she did it, but in the end you didn’t think it mattered, each outcome still ended with her being a selfish person- a bad friend. You didn’t really talk things out either but you decided to forgive her. The friendship was too important to you at the time to give up but you wouldn’t let her be anywhere near Pedro again. The idea of them being friends was out the window. 
 “What a bitch.” His thick accent shining through extra hard with his own anger.- it makes you laugh. “I don’t even know what to do at this point. I don’t think I can trust her anymore.” he nods in agreement. “I know sweetheart but I'm here for you, no matter what you decide to do. Okay?” it's your turn to nod. “Okay. Thank you Hugh, really. I don’t know what I would do without you.” You look up at him, giving him a small smile and a quick kiss on his side. “You know what sucks more than possibly losing my best friend for good?” You ask, humor shines in your eyes. “What’s that?”
“Losing my New York tour guide.” He laughs. “You’re laughing now, but it’s serious. She created these crazy itineraries for us to be the most obnoxious tourist. Now I have to rely on my own planning skills, which aren’t great.” Hugh goes quiet for a moment. You search his face for his thoughts and he seems unsure of what he’s about to say. 
“I could..uh. I could go to New York with you. I kinda need to go anyways, been meaning to go.” He says and when you don’t speak right away, he panics. “You don’t have to say yes. I know we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I understand if you want some time for yourself..” You giggle at his overthinking. “Hugh, I would love for you to come to New York with me.” He lets out a breath you didn’t know he was holding. “Okay good. That’s great! I needed to go back a few weeks ago actually so this works out for the both of us.” 
“Why didn’t you go back when you needed to?” His cheeks go red. “Oh my god! You totally stayed because of me didn’t you?”
 “Maybe..” He admits. “I was scheduled to fly back to New York before your album party, but then you texted me. I couldn’t pass that up.” 
“You keep acting like this and you’re gonna make me fall in love with you Hugh Jackman.” A smug smile falls onto his lips. “You better.” 
The few days leading up to you leaving for New York were short. Hugh left for the city the next day, promising he would see you the moment you landed, sealing the promise with a quick kiss. You busied yourself with tour rehearsals and interview prep. It had been a lonely few days. Hugh was gone and you weren’t talking to Ashley, you didn’t know what to do with yourself. You and Hugh texted daily but it wasn’t the same as being in his presence, a presence you had come to enjoy having around. You were close to saying ‘fuck it’ and be fully committed to him but a part of you was still hesitant. Too much has happened recently, it feels like you can’t think straight half the time. Your last relationship was only a few months ago, your best friend was trying to steal every man you liked, and you’re at the peak of your career. You needed a mental breather. 
LAX airport was cold and stuffy. People were walking casually towards their destination with a few runners here and there. While you loved traveling, airports made you feel uneasy. There were so many people going to the most random places on the most random days and random times. It was uncomfortable to think about. You sat there in silence, too afraid to wear headphones. You liked to know what was happening around you at all times, a freak peeve. When it was finally time to board the plane, you were already exhausted from it all. Almost seven hours later, you landed at JFK airport in New York City. Once you turn off airplane mode on your phone, you see a few texts from Hugh. He insisted that he could pick you up from the airport and take you to your hotel. Your ‘personal chauffeur” he jokingly called himself. You texted Hugh back as people hurriedly grabbed their belongings and scurried down the thin aisles. 
You: just landed! see you soon hot stuff ;)
He told you beforehand that he made arrangements to pick you up in a private area, away from prying eyes. You weren’t nearly famous enough to know what that means, so you simply followed the instructions he gave you. It was a little confusing at first, having only been in the busy airport once before. With some help from workers, Hugh was finally in your view. He had a big smile on his face with his arms open wide for you. You walked with a little pep in your step, suitcase rolling behind you. When you got close enough, you let the handle go and ran the rest of the short distance to Hughs arms. His embrace was warm and welcoming, a familiar place. 
“Missed you sweet girl.” He mumbles into your hair. You pull back slightly, arms still holding him. “Missed you too.” Your voice is shy, almost forgetting how it felt to have his attention on you. You had missed him, more than you thought you would. Hearing his voice again made life feel real again after the past mundane days you’ve endured. The walk to his car was intimate- his arm sat atop your shoulders as you walked side by side. He insisted on rolling your luggage for you and wouldn’t take no for an answer when you protested. A true gentleman. He opened the passenger door for you, making sure you were in before putting your suitcase in the trunk and hopping into the driver's side. He looked a lot more presentable than you did. He wore a pair of blue jeans and a black shirt that hugged his biceps in a way that almost made you drool. It was simple but he looked delicious. Your sweats and hoodie couldn’t compare. His beard had finally grown in, no longer the prickly stubble that rested there a month ago. It was full and you hoped he would let it grow to that length that made him look even more expensive. 
“The option to stay at my place is still on the table if you want it babe.” He says, resting his hand on your thigh as he begins to pull out of the hidden parking lot. There was something so attractive about a man driving. Hugh’s side profile was godly and him driving really did something to your brain. “That wouldn’t be very friendly of us Hugh.” You rest your hand on top of his. “I think that’s the friendliest thing I could possibly do. Offer you a place to stay while in town instead of staying in a dingy hotel.” He eggs on trying to convince you. He first pitched the idea the night he offered to come to New York with you. You immediately declined, not wanting to invade his space. You wouldn’t know how to handle it, it made things too real. He had been over to your house countless times, but you had never been to his. You thought it best to keep it that way. You weren’t sure you could control yourself around him when you were surrounded by all things him. “Nothing is ever friendly between us Hugh.” He squeezes your thigh. “I have to argue with you there baby. In my humble opinion, we are too friendly.” He glances over to you and gives you a wink. He hasn’t been afraid of letting his intentions known. To let you know that he wants you, not as a friend. You’ve seen just how bad he craved you and it was tempting. He knew he had a dangerous effect on you, one that you worked really hard to control. 
“You’re always so horny.” You mumble. “It’s hard not to be when I have a gorgeous girl like you around all the time.” God he was so good with his words. His voice and his way of speaking. It was no mystery as to why he had people swooning for him left and right- you included. “Whatever.” You open your phone to text Stacy, letting her know you landed and in good hands. It was weird flying solo. You got so accustomed to flying along Ashley or Stacy. You weren’t particularly mad at the change if it meant you got to see Hugh’s face light up just at seeing you again. “Will you at least come over once?” He asks, hopeful. “I’ve seen your house, I’d really like you to see mine. It’s where I live most of the time. It would mean a lot.” The squeeze on your thigh lingers, his grip lasting longer than the previous one. You didn’t know how to explain that you really didn’t want to do that- be in his house. You didn’t think he would understand what you mean when you say ‘it’s too much’. The desperation in his voice, the yearning he felt to have you in his home. You couldn’t say no. “Yea I can do that.” The small smile that rested on his lips grew, his face lighting up. It made your stomach twist up in knots. 
The hotel that Stacy booked for you was grand. The elegance and class in the places you’ve stayed at while traveling has never failed to amaze you. Growing up, your family didn’t have a lot of money. When you went on family trips, the cheapest hotel, usually a motel 6, was your usual nightly accommodations. The places you stayed in now would have little you screaming and running around. The whole ‘entering fame’ process had been a huge culture shock that you were still learning to navigate appropriately. 
“Hm. Not too shabby, my house is better though.” Hugh says as he sits your luggage to the side. He had put a hat and sunglasses on, trying to make it less obvious that it was him- trying to hide that it was him who was with you. The hat, sunglasses, and beard combo was doing a number on your body. It took a lot of strength to keep yourself from dragging him to the bed and riding him until you were satisfied. Though, you’re not sure that you could ever be fully satisfied with Hugh. Not because you were scared he wouldn’t be good in bed but because you knew once he had you, you would need him again and again until you physically couldn’t handle him anymore. You  felt him that one night on the couch, movie night, you knew that man was packing and that it wouldn’t take much for him to bruise your cervix.
 “Hugh, please.” You warn him. He puts his hands up in defense. “Sorry, sorry…Just don’t forget that it’s an option.” “I don’t think you’d let me forget..” You let out a breathy laugh after. Hugh sits down at a small table and watches you as you walk around, exploring the room. You unpack a few things to make it easier on yourself later. “Are you up for exploring today?” He asks as he walks into the bathroom, where you’re placing your toiletries along the vanity counter. “Oo! I’d love to explore. I have one weird request though.” You're still facing the mirror when Hugh comes up behind you. His arms wrap around your waist, sitting a little higher due to his height. “What’s that baby?” He’s watching you through the mirror, as you organize your skin care. “I wanna go to Trinity Church to see Hamilton's grave.” You say nonchalantly. Hugh laughs and questions you. “I need to sing the ‘he’s buried in Trinity Church near you’ line from Hamilton.” Hugh continues laughing. “What!?” He barely gets the words out. It somewhat offends you.  “I thought you’d understand, being a theater nerd and all but I guess not.” You cross your arms and try to break through his hold to walk away. “Mhm. I’m sorry, come back. I wasn’t trying to make fun of you. You’re just full of surprises.” You relax in his hold. 
“Does that mean you’ll take me?” You look at his eyes through the mirror. “Yea i’ll take you.” He smiles. You look at Hugh in the mirror, observing how the two of you look together. He looks really good holding you and not to toot your own horn, but Hugh and yourself made an attractive couple. He looked good on your arm and you looked good on his. “You're so pretty, baby.” He whispers. “Every time I look at you, I’m blown away that you’re hanging around with me.” His arms tighten around you. “Hmm. I think we look good together, don’t you?” You reach your neck up to look at him as best as you can given the angle. He studies your two bodies in the mirror before agreeing. “Yea we do.”
Walking around with Hugh felt freeing. You’ve been trying so hard to keep things private lately that every time you weren’t in the secure confines of your house with him, you felt panicked. It was something that crossed your mind before the two of you left the hotel but he assured you that it wasn’t very likely that someone would notice both of you. You were a little doubtful in his words, opting to dress in a way that protected you from the early fall breeze and from making it too obvious of who you were. Hugh had been right though, you both were able to walk around pretty freely, undisturbed. He brought you to trinity church first and reluctantly filmed a video of you dramatically singing the line from Hamilton. To you it was peak comedy and Hugh was being a big hater. He took you to a few of his favorite places, hidden gems. It was perfect. You wanted to hold his hand, bodies brushing against each other as you walked, but you couldn’t. The night ended by Hugh taking you to get traditional New York pizza. He ordered a large pepperoni and you both walked back to the hotel. The moment your room door was opened, you were pulling your heeled boots off. The walking destroyed your feet but you’d gone beyond your daily step goals- a win is a win. Sitting at the table with Hugh, you both grabbed a slice of pizza. He waited for you to take a bite first, looking for your reaction. When you took a bite, you let out a moan- you weren’t sure if it was because it tasted that good or because of how hungry you were. “That good?” Hugh asks in amusement. “Yes, I was starving.” He chuckles and takes his own big bite. The two of you down the entire pizza at an embarrassingly fast rate. “Did you have fun today?” He asks you. “Yea, I really did. Thank you Hugh.” 
When Hugh left, you scrolled through all of the pictures and videos you had taken today. You snuck a couple of Hugh and you might have stared at them a little too long. You watched the Trinity Church video so you could post it on TikTok. As you uploaded it into the app and were giving it one last watch before hitting post, a sound caught your attention. You grabbed your headphones and connected them to get a better listen. As you were singing, you could hear Hugh quietly laughing in the background. The sound brought a smile to your face, replaying it over and over just to hear it again. You hit the ‘post’ and called it a night. 
The next morning was an early one. You had to be at the photo shoot at five am to get ready, meaning you were out the door at four. Stacy met you down in the lobby and led you to the car she had waiting for you. “How was your first day in New York? You and Ashley have fun?” She asks as she buckles her seatbelt. “Oh, Ashley didn’t come, we aren’t friends anymore. My first day was good though, really fun.” You smile at the memories of the day prior, ignoring the small pain from hearing Ashley’s name. Stacy gives you a questioning look. You sigh before explaining, “She was being weird and it turns out she was flirting with Hugh the other day when they came to rehearsals. She didn’t even have the decency not to do it in the exact same room.” Her expression turns to an understanding one. “Well, good riddance. I knew after the first time that the girl was nothing but trouble. Good for you babe.” She types on her phone for a moment before turning her attention back to you- your staring out the window, taking in the somewhat empty streets that were full of people the night before.
“So, what did you do yesterday that was so fun?” You don’t look at her when you respond. “Hugh took me exploring, showed me the city.” She snorts. “Hugh, huh?” You look at her sheepishly. “Yea. He felt bad that I didn’t have someone to go with me so he offered.” You shrug. It wasn’t that big of a deal. “I told you.” 
“Told me what?” 
“That you wouldn’t be able to stay away from that man.” She shakes her head. You sometimes forgot just how well Stacy knows you after years of her by your side. The car comes to a stop outside of a short building, shorter than the other ones around it anyway. You sat in hair and makeup for a while, talking to the artists as they worked. You always liked making conversation with the people that helped you, it was always interesting hearing everyone's stories. The photo shoot wasn’t anything crazy. It was a well known photographer that had worked with major stars, her most recent model being Zendaya. It was a huge compliment that she wanted to work with you. It wasn’t like other shoots you had done before, this had been way more artsy and free. You were so used to doing things for brands or for your own music, where everything needed to be a certain way. It was nice to work on projects where you didn’t have to think but just be you. 
When the shoot was over, you sat in a small lobby with Stacy as you waited for the car to come pick you up. You opened tiktok to see what people were saying in the comments of your latest post. Most of them were freaking out over the laugh in the background, over analyzing it to find out who it was. There were a few comments that speculated that it might be Hugh and it made you laugh, shocked by the crazy detective skills your fans had. You kept scrolling when you saw a comment that caught your attention.
‘Y/N GET YOUR MAN UNDER CONTROL SDJFJSDF’ 
You clicked on the ‘view replies’ tab under it trying to figure out what they were talking about. Thankfully, other people were just as confused as you were with multiple ‘context?’ comments under it. 
‘look at hughs recent instagram post 😭’
In curiosity, you closed Tiktok and opened instagram. You went to the search bar, clicking on his username from your recent searched section. You click on the most recent picture making it enlarge and you let out an audible gasp. “Are you okay?” Stacy asks. You almost forgot where you were for a second. “Yea i’m fine…funny tiktok comment.” You tried to play it off, hoping she’d buy the excuse. It seems to work as she gives a small nod, looking back down to her phone. You look back down at your own device, in complete and utter shock. You knew he was built, seeing other pictures he had posted and endless edits of his greasy hawaiian rolls from Deadpool and Wolverine. 
This however seemed so much slutier. He was in, what you assumed was his home bathroom, taking shirtless pictures of himself. You could tell it had been recent because his beard and hair were the same length that it’s been for the past week. You felt frozen, not knowing what to do. He looked absolutely scrumptious. Pulling out your airpods from your purse, you put them on to listen to the attached audio. You had no fucking clue how you were supposed to look him in the eyes the next time you saw him. His voice was something special. It had the ability to make your knees weak at the sound. This was no different. It felt like he was teasing you subtly. You quickly screenshot the picture and swipe out of instagram, opening your message app. 
You: I leave you alone for less than 24 hours and you’re over here posting thirst traps for the internet… 
Hugh <3: I just wanted to thank my team. As the caption said…I am grateful. 
You: hmm you say it’s being grateful, I say it’s being a SLUT!! 
You: you look really fucking good though…
Hugh<3: 😂😂😂
Hugh<3: Thank you baby. Do I get to see you today or are you still busy? 
You: I have meetings the rest of the day :( 
Hugh<3: It’s okay sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow? 
You: I have fallon tmrw night but i’ll be free at 8pm if you wanna meet up then? 
Hugh<3: That works for me. Text me when you’re done for the day, okay? Talk to you later baby
The car finally stops signaling that you were at the first meeting of the day. There were endless introductions, hand shaking, and smiling. It was a lot more tiring than it sounded. Stacy was doing most of the work, covering major details for whatever was being discussed- again you mainly sat and listened. There were a few times when you really had to pay attention as key points were being made but nothing would be final until your team and lawyer looked over whatever deals were being discussed. There was a short two hour break of freedom that Stacy and yourself used to grab some food. Then it was right back to work. You were somewhat grateful for Stacy scheduling all of the heavy work stuff on one day because it meant you didn’t have to do this again on the remaining days of your trip. Stacy liked to set it up that way, giving you more time to be free from work, you loved her for it. The two of you had dinner together and went your separate ways after. You got back to your hotel at ten and to say you were worn out was an understatement. Your head was hurting from all the talking and bright fluorescent lights of each office you sat in today. 
You: I’m finally freeeee!! 
After hitting send, you hopped in the shower. The best thing about staying in an expensive hotel was how great the water pressure was. The hot water felt like heaven against your sticky skin, the thick body glitter from the photoshoot finally slipping away. You let your mind wander back to the picture that had been in your mind all day. Running your hands down your body, teasing yourself while imagining that it was Hugh’s wide hands instead. You let your hands disappear in the place that ached the most, working as your mind played the fantasies that ate away at you. You could almost feel Hugh’s mouth whispering against your ear as the feeling of ecstasy washes over your body, the running water muffling the sounds of your pleasure. 
Hugh still hadn’t texted you back when you had gotten out of the shower. It was unusual for him to take so long to respond but given the time- and his age- he was probably asleep. The downside to dating older men was their need to be in bed so early. You giggled to yourself thinking about the thought of Hugh being knocked the fuck out in bed after yawning since the clock hit 7pm. Laying in bed, you whipped out your phone opening twitter. You tweeted a quick post, reminding your fans to watch Jimmy Fallon tomorrow night. You scrolled lazily for a while, feeling the sleep take over you but when you saw one post in particular, you felt wide awake. 
‘Hugh Jackman and ex-wife seen walking around New York together a year after separation.’ 
You had no right to feel the jealousy and anger that sat tight in your chest. His ex-wife was something you were completely aware of but it was a subject neither Hugh or yourself had talked about. You understood that she would always be around, after being married to her longer than you’d even been alive. You laugh in disbelief. It sounded so stupid when you put it like that. The age gap never bothered you until you put it in perspective. You couldn’t help who you liked though. The overthinking hit faster than you could stop it. You wondered why he didn’t tell you that he was seeing her today. His smile in the picture was a little too wide, he looked too happy. He wasn’t even yours to claim, yet you wanted her to know that he had you now, that he wanted you. The vile thoughts that danced around your head were making your temper rise. You set some alarms and tried to get some sleep. Most of the night was tossing and turning, thinking about Hugh’s ex-wife. 
Hugh<3: Good morning sweet girl. I’m sorry for not getting back to you last night. I fell asleep on the couch waiting for you to text me lol 
It was what you saw first when your alarm went off. It was sent a few hours ago since you gave yourself some time to sleep in, given the trouble you had getting to sleep last night. You ultimately decided that you wouldn’t be mad at him for it, you didn’t have a reason to be. If the two of you were official, things would be different, but you weren’t. You were going to try your best to swallow the jealousy and let it be. 
You: good morning baby! I figured that’s what happened lol
Hugh<3: Are you excited for Fallon tonight? 😄
You: yea…only a tinsy bit nervous 
Hugh<3: You’re gonna crush it babe, I know it. I still get to see you after yea? Miss you
You: I miss you too :(
You: do you wanna meet at the hotel after or…?
Hugh<3: I can pick you up and we can go to my place? 
You stared at the message contemplating it. Hugh’s house was already a fear of yours but his house at night seemed a lot more intimate. You felt the need to be that intimate with him though- it was fueled by the pictures from last night, you knew it was. If that hadn't happened, you’d be saying no, making up excuses not to. You needed the validation too much to think straight. 
You: yea we can do that :)
Once you get to the Tonight Show studio, you barely have time to put your things down before you're being guided around. Thankfully, you warmed up your voice before leaving your hotel room just in case you didn’t have time to do it here. The crew had you and your dancers do a quick run through of the song to make sure everything was working before you were sent to your dressing room to get ready. Kat, your stylist, and Amari, your makeup and hair artist, were already in the room ready to get to work. You took the time to catch up with both of them, the three of you falling into a familiar routine. Your nerves started to build up as it got closer to the filming time. About twenty minutes before you were called to stage, Jimmy came back to introduce himself. He was a really sweet guy, super bubbly and humble. It eased your mind a little bit but they shot right back up when your name was called. “Y/n L/n everybody!”. The studio audience erupted in cheers as you walked to Jimmy’s desk. “Welcome to the show, how are you doing tonight?” He asks. “I’m doing amazing, thank you so much for having me.” The cheers finally slow down. “So, I got told that this is your first late night show interview, is that right?” 
“Yes, it is!” 
“I’m honored to be the first.” 
“I’m glad it’s you who popped my late night talk show cherry, Jimmy.” You joke, using your song's title as a pun, which he does his famous laugh at. The interview was going really well, most of the questions being ones you’ve answered countless times before.
“There have been a few rumors going around after a tiktok you posted the other day and I have to ask.” You nod ready for whatever question he’s about to ask. “Is the laugh behind the camera Mr. Hugh Jackman?” Your smile falters for a second before you put it right back on. This was something you weren’t prepared for at all. You let out a laugh. “The fans can keep speculating. A girl never kisses and tells.” It probably wasn’t the best answer- you know it wasn’t the best answer- but it’s all you could come up with in that moment. You just hoped no one noticed the split second your calm facade slipped, that it felt longer than it had actually lasted. 
Hugh was already there when you were free to leave, having texted him in the spare moment you had while getting changed into your performance outfit. Once you were in the car, he didn’t hesitate to ask how it went. “It was good. He uh…he asked about you.” You don’t why you were concerned about how he would respond, but you were. “About me?” He glances at you quickly before focusing on the road again. “Uhh..yeah. I posted the Hamilton video on tiktok and you can hear you laughing in it. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal but people started to guess it was you. I’m sorry.” You slump down into the seat, waiting for his anger to come but it never does. “Don’t apologize baby. I want people to know I’m with you.” He never fails at knowing what to say, his words always flow out of his mouth effortlessly. “I kinda redirected the question though, not really giving a solid answer. I don’t know, it really threw me off.” He nods. “They like to do that, be sneaky.” 
It took a little longer than expected to get to his place, New York traffic moving at a snail's pace. When you do finally arrive, he’s pulling into an underground parking garage that sits under a skyscraper that you can’t see the top of. The elevator ride up was easily the longest one you’d ever been on, his penthouse being on the 56th floor. He opens the door and turns on the light switch that is conveniently placed in the entrance. “Welcome to my home. Mi casa es su casa.” He jokes and you let out a short snort at the stupid joke. “Would you like the official Hugh Jackman house tour?” Excitement was radiating off of him and you thought it was cute that he was this worked up about you being here, in his space. “I’d love one.” He offers his hand and you take it. Your once icy hand being warmed up instantly from his large, warm one. 
As he dragged you to the living room, you started to feel that uneasiness again, like you shouldn’t be here. It kept nagging at you in the back of your head but you refused to pick at it. This was making Hugh happy, you weren’t going to ruin that because of whatever issues you were hiding. After showing you the living room, he pulls you into a large kitchen. A vase full of bright pink flowers, balloons, and a cookie cake that reads ‘congrats’ sits on the counter. You let go of his hand and walk over to the island while he stays put. You run your fingertips over the soft petals of the flowers, peonies- your favorite. “Do you like them? I uh..wasn’t sure what your flower preference was, so I chose peonies because of your song.” 
The gesture makes you emotional. You’d never had a man go out of his way for you like this. He hadn’t known what flowers you liked but he remembered your song title to fill in the blank. A song where you had one line that says: ‘you got me roses when you know I like peonies’. A song from your debut album. “I love them. I love this.” You gesture to the display. You walk back over to where he stands and reach up to grab his face, bringing it down to give him a quick peck on his lips. “This means a lot to me, thank you Hugh.” The previous perturbation vanishing from your head, that cherished easiness you felt with Hugh slips back in. You were meant to be here. 
“Shall we finish the tour?” You ask, spirits high. “Of course my lady, right this way.” He leads you room to room, giving you a mini explanation for each one. It was an average home, well average for a millionaire. It was obvious that a single, older man lived here but not in a bad way, there just wasn’t a woman's touch on the place. “This is bathroom number two, the one I use most frequently.” Something about the room seemed familiar as you looked around. There were a few art pieces on the marbled wall, a large mirror across from them. You were looking at the suspiciously large mirror when it clicked. 
“OH MY GOD!! This is the thirst trap bathroom! I can’t believe I have the pleasure of being in such a sacred place.” You move around the space in a theatrical way, pretending you were in a place of true importance. 
“Oh god…shut up.” He groans in embarrassment. “Could you reenact the moment? It would really help me get the full feel of the room.” You’re still teasing him but that question came back to slap you right across the face. You see a smirk on Hugh's face and he’s reaching his hands down and starts lifting his shirt off- but not in the practical way but in the super sexy crossed arms way. “WAIT! I was just kidding.” You practically scream at him, not mentally prepared to see Hugh shirtless in person. He stops and shrugs, turning around to leave the room. Before you can stop yourself, the horny part of your brain is speaking. “Wait no, keep going.” He slowly turns around with that stupid sexy smile of his and the raised eyebrow thing he does. The atmosphere of the small room changed instantly. He’s pulling at his shirt again, painfully slow in your opinion. As he inches it up, you analyze each slither of skin that’s freed. There is a patch of hair below his belly button leading down into his pants. A strong v-line and a thick vein practically popping out of his skin, begging to be traced with your tongue. The shirt goes higher and higher, revealing more of his chest. Each ab pops out and it’s like a gift from God right in front of your eyes. He pulls the shirt over his head, biceps flexing slightly, and drops the shirt onto the floor. You're frozen in place, not believing that this is real. 
You never have been one to believe in karma but you must have been a saint in your past life to deserve this. You see his mouth move but don’t hear a word he says. All you see is the hairy chest you’d been thirsting over, moving closer until it’s right in front of you. He grabs your cheeks between one hand and faces your eyes up towards his own. “Are you okay y/n?” He has a worry behind his eyes. 
“You’re like really hot. It’s actually frustrating how hot you are.” His grip on your face loosens as you speak. “You asked to see, I was only fulfilling your wishes.” You felt dizzy. He hadn’t even touched you and the way your whole face sits in his one hand and the way his abs are begging to be licked, had you flustered. You were drunk on Hugh. “You're wandering again…maybe I should put my shirt back on.” He goes to reach for it but you reach out, lightly grabbing his arm to stop him. “Not yet.” It’s mumbled and quiet, aimed more towards yourself than it was to him. 
Hugh stands back up, his height towering over you. You couldn’t decide if he had always been so tall. Towering over you in a way that made your heart beat faster. Your mind was battling itself: the arousal wanting nothing more than for Hugh to do whatever he wanted with you while the more reasonable side knew that there were too many things that needed to be talked about before crossing this line. The line had been crossed many times before with the kisses, touches, hand holding- the night on the couch… Sex was different. You weren’t fond of casual sex, it was too intimate an act to categorize as such. Whatever was happening between Hugh and yourself was far from casual though and you trusted him not to hurt you.
“You’re kinda scaring me here, pretty girl. Are you okay?” You couldn’t tell him that seeing his chest had sent you into a horny dazed confusion. You looked up at him, into his worried eyes. He was always so concerned about your well being and he cared so much about everything going on in your life. God, you prayed that this wouldn’t come back to bite you in the ass.
“Kiss me please.” Your voice is shaky, unstable. “Are you sure baby?” His hands rest on your shoulders, eyes searching yours for any doubt. 
“Please Hugh. I need you to kiss me.” His once troubled eyes turned dark as he bent down, kissing you like he never had before. The kiss was messy, full of hunger. His hands trailed down your sides until they cupped under the base of your ass. He effortlessly picks you up to sit you on the bathroom counter, lips never breaking contact. You could feel his tongue prodding at the entrance of your mouth as it asked for permission to enter. Granting access, your lips open, a throaty moan draws out as you feel his tongue swipe against yours. He pulls back for a moment. “Can I take this off? Is that okay?” He asks, referring to your shirt. His usual thick australian accent was soft in his breathy voice. You nod shyly and he doesn’t hesitate to reach down. You put your arms up to aid him as he gently pulls the shirt up and he sucks in a sharp breath. “Fuck baby…so fucking pretty.” His hands cup your bra covered breast, thumbs softly trailing over your stiff nipples causing you to drop your head back with a moan of pleasure. “We never finished the tour, sweet girl.” His hands are still fondling you and you lift your head back up to look at him. “What?” 
“There’s one more room I didn't get to show you.” His hands finally drop from your chest and he’s grabbing your hand, leading you towards whatever room it was that you hadn’t seen. He opens the door and the air surrounding you smells like Hugh. It was almost enough to make you pass out, head already light and fuzzy. 
You don’t have time to look around, Hugh immediately turning you to face him, attacking your mouth once again. His hands are reaching for the button of your jeans, pulling them down slowly once he’s got them open. Hugh’s lips escape yours and trail down your neck, your chest, the sides and your body, and finally your stomach as he slowly lowers himself to sit on his knees. He lifted each of your feet, helping you out of each pant leg. At each lift of your leg, he also pulls each sock off, kissing your calves as he does so. You're left in nothing but a black bra and thong. “Mhm. Can I touch you baby?” He asks looking up at you. You nod, the position he was in, all too arousing. He practically growls at your answer and starts leaving messy kisses on your thighs, his hands gripping the back of them. His lips trail up higher, ghosting over where you needed him the most. You could feel his breath through the thin cotton of your panties. Your own breath hitches as he licks a long teasing path between your two folds, the cotton dipping into them from the weight of his tongue. He looks up at you through his lashes, asking for permission. You mouth a small ‘please’ the only word that seems to be in your vocabulary at the moment. 
His thick fingers slip between the fabric and the skin on your hip on either side of your body, pulling the soaked thong down your legs. Before he continues, he’s standing up and guiding you to the bed. “Get up there and spread that pretty pussy for me baby. Wanna see it.” You waste no time doing what he asks, climbing up the unusually tall bed and laying on your back. You don’t open your legs right away, shyness creeping in. You were almost fully exposed to Hugh, the only thing still covered being your boobs, while he was almost fully covered, only his shirt being off. “Don’t go all shy on me now baby.” He says, guiding your legs open, pussy on full display. “Fuck..look at you sweet girl, all wet for me.” His thumbs pull back each fold, exposing the pink that was partially hidden. He leans town and licks from your entrance to your clit. “Mhmm fuck.” You moan out at the feeling. His tongue felt hot against your warm center, beard tickling your skin as he moved. The sound encourages him to continue. He dives down again, tongue lapping around your needy clit. The constant pressure causes your body to jerk voluntarily. Hugh brings both of his hands to hold you down at your legs, tongue still abusing the small bud. Loud moans escape your mouth as his tongue trails down to your entrance sliding in. “Oh fuck me.” You moan out. “Your pussy taste so fucking good.” He mutters against your skin. His right hand moves from its position on your hip, his middle finger sliding down to your opening. He slowly slides it in, the small stretch feels too good. He starts moving it, hitting the spongy bundle of nerves over and over again. “Fuck baby, i’m gonna cum.” You warn him. His head dips back down, tongue returning to your clit and one suck is all it takes for you to come around his finger. You let out a string of moans and curses, Hugh never letting up until your climax is over. He does one more lap around your pussy with his tongue, cleaning everything up before moving up the bed next to you. 
“Been wanting to do that forever baby. Knew you’d have a perfect little pussy.” His words make you cover your face with your hands in embarrassment. Even with your own orgasm washing the need out of your body, you were still turned on. The sight of your slick in Hugh’s beard and the very noticeable tent in Hugh’s jeans made it worse. You sit up and go to move. “Where are you going?” Hugh asks, sitting up on his forearms to look at you. You don't respond, instead you reach for the button of his jeans. “You don’t have to do that baby.” He assures you. “I want to.” It was the first coherent sentence you’ve been able to muster and it makes Hugh fall back into the bed. You pull his jeans and boxers off in one go, too impatient to wait. His cock springs free, red and angry. It was long, thin, and veiny- exactly as you imagined it being. It made your mouth water. He had a thick patch of pubic hair and it turned you on even more, you were such a whore for hairy men. 
You sat yourself between each of his thighs, running your hands up and down them. He’s watching you as you take your right hand, wrapping it around the base of him. He sucks in a breath. You're looking him in the eyes as you lean your head down, letting your tongue swirl in slow circles around his tip. “Fuck…” You take the tip slowly into your mouth, sucking on it while your tongue still circles. Your left hand replaces the right on his dick, right hand moving down to cup his balls. “Shit..” He hisses out. “Haven’t done this in a while baby, not gonna last long at all.” He confesses but men coming fast had always been something that excited you, so you got to work. Your head dipped lower, taking more of him in your mouth while hollowing your cheeks, creating a dangerous suction on him. Your pace was steady as he moaned. “Yea baby, just like that…mmm fuck.” He was a talker and you loved it. You took him out of your mouth, moving down to his balls instead. You sucked on them as your hands worked his shaft. He was breathing rapidly. “I’m gonna cum baby….ohh fuck baby don’t stop.” You immediately moved your mouth back to his tip, sucking every drop of cum from him, not letting any go to waste. You can feel his thighs clenching next to yours. When you're confident that he was done spewing, you swallow it down happily and smile up at him. 
“You’re a dream, you know that? So fucking perfect for me.” He sighs in content as you crawl up to lay on his chest. “You really believe that?” You ask. “I really believe it, y/n. Haven’t felt this way in a long time..” You didn’t want to ask him what that meant, he would tell you eventually. “You wanna stay here tonight?” You look around, seeing the time on the digital alarm clock he had on a bedside table. It read 11:30pm. “Yea, if that’s okay.” You didn’t want to inconvenience him, even if he’s the one who asked. “More than okay sweet girl.” 
The two of you took a quick shower together, the main goal was to get clean so you could hit the hay. Hugh strayed from that a little bit at the sight of your boobs, which he hadn’t seen fully during the fun you had earlier. He gave them small kisses, worshiping them as you washed your hair. He gave you a shirt to sleep in and you opted to go commando, not wanting to put your dirty underwear back on- Hugh didn’t complain about this. His own pajamas being his boxers and nothing else. The two of you laid in Hugh’s bed, you cuddled on his side running your fingers through the hair on his chest. A silence fell over the room, sleep creeping its way in.
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thank you for reading!
part six
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justmeinadaze · 1 month
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Yin and Yang Part 3 (Steddie X You)
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Warnings: Older Daddy Eddie (Late 30s)/ Older Dom Mr. Harrington (Late 30s) & Younger Fem Sub Y/N (mid 20s), SMUT, reader becomes a bit of brat in this one, Spanking, slight degrading, LOTS of dirty talk, hair pulling, I think that's it. FLUFF, Eddie and the reader have a long established relationship and they love each other, they love Steve to but...
ANGST, Reader feels neglected with how busy both boys are but especially Eddie. Tries to make them jealous, Jealous Steddie 😈,There's a moment where Eddie talks about his mom and his grief (brief), Steve has some insecurities with intimacy and being in a relationship (written from the fears of yours truly *bows* LOOK I HAVE TRAUMA OK?!), Cliffhanger ending (because I can :) ).
Enjoy reading it because I had fun writing the smut part lol
Word Count: 5771
Last Chapter here/ Donate or Tip Here
For the past few weeks, Eddie had been incredibly busy. 
There was a new band that had been signed to his label and he was doing everything he could to push them in front of all the important eyes he could. When you went to visit him, most of the time he was in a meeting or on the phone. What really bothered you was when he brought all that home and spent hours in his office grumbling at people on the other end. 
Steve had been on the go a lot as well. It had been a few months since you first met him and you found yourself missing him as much as you missed Eddie. You would constantly scroll through his social media and watch interviews he did on YouTube hoping to just get a glimpse of what he was up to. Did he miss you as much as you missed him? Probably not with how many women he was constantly seen with. 
Even with your boyfriend, you felt like he wasn’t giving you enough attention and it made you feel underappreciated.
“That’s ridiculous, Mack, are you kidding? These ladies are incredibly popular right now and they are worth way more than the price you’re offering.”
It was late in the evening and Eddie had barely touched his food before his phone rang and he excused himself to take the call. You missed him so much and you hated feeling so alone. After changing into your white silk nightie you knew he loved, you tip toed into his office as he leaned back into his chair and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. 
He barely even moved when you slid onto his lap and wrapped one of your arms around the back of his neck while your other palm rubbed his chest. 
“I’m not someone you fucking haggle with. Either you give me the price we’re offering or you don’t and you have no band. It is what it is.” Hanging up his phone, he tossed it loudly onto his desk as he released a heavy sigh. “Jesus, I’m fucking done with event managers and producers.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I know how hard you work. Can I make you feel better?”
“Oh, sweetheart, not tonight. I still have one more call to make and then I just want to take a long warm shower and go to bed.”
“Please, baby.”, you coo as you kiss his cheek.
You both exhale in frustration as his phone starts to aggressively vibrate. As he reaches over to answer, your own palm shoots out to cover his. 
“Please, Eddie.”, you plead as your eyes bore into his. 
“I have to take this, Y/N. It will be real quick and—”
He doesn’t even get to finish as you push yourself off his lap and head towards your bed to fall asleep alone. 
***
A knock on the front door startles you both while you were (silently) getting ready for the launch party of Eddie’s new band that he finally signed to biggest venue in California. 
“Are you expecting anyone?”
After shaking your head, he saunters over to the door and slowly opens it before a force of a man pushes through making Eddie beam with delight. 
“Harrington! What are you doing here, man?”
“Like I’d miss one of your launches, dude. Where’s your gorgeous girlfriend?” Both men were taken aback when they heard your heels click along the floor before you practically jumped in Steve’s open arms. “Whoa! There she is. Everything alright?”
You didn’t say anything as you squeezed your arms tightly around him and inhaled the cologne that clung to his neck. 
“Baby, let him breathe.”
“I’m sorry. I…we just missed you.”
A small smile flickers across his lips when you release him from your hold before he leans down and tenderly kisses your cheek. 
“I missed you both to and you both look delicious like always.”, he grins. “Come on, let’s have some fun tonight.”
####################
You weren’t having any fun as you pouted in the back of the club hosting the party with your arms crossed as you watched both men before you. Eddie, who didn’t really enjoy this kind of evening events, mingled with some of the men and continued to gesture towards the group he signed as they let loose on stage, completely ignoring you to the point that he barely even noticed when your arm detached from his to go on the hunt for Steve. 
The businessman himself, was giggling and openly flirting with a couple of women at a nearby table and you couldn’t help the bile that gurgled in your throat when you noticed one of their hands was resting on his upper thigh. 
Neither of them were paying attention and it pissed you off. As you thought about ways to attain what you desperately craved an opportunity suddenly presented itself. 
“Hey pretty girl. I’m Xavier and I couldn’t help but notice you over here by yourself. May I buy you a drink and keep you company?”
With a mischievous smirk, you nodded and allowed this young man to take your hand as he guided you to the bar. As he began to talk to you about something you couldn’t care less about, you wondered how long it would take for them to notice. Eddie wasn’t exactly the jealous type but he was incredibly protective especially when it came to parties with a lot of people. He had an idea of how the industry was and wanted to make sure you were always safe. 
You had also never really given him a reason to be jealous because you were always so infatuated with him, you never even wanted to look anywhere else. With Steve, it was different and he was so much like Eddie with a few contrasts that together would make them a force to be reconned with. 
“Y/N.”, the businessman cooed you name with a sarcastic edge. “Who’s your friend?”
“Hi, um, I’m Xavier.”, he introduces again, raising his hand for Steve to shake.
His gorgeous eyes look down at it with disgust before clicking his tongue and meeting his gaze. 
“Yeah, I would get your palm off her thigh, X.” Your own eyes quickly look that way to find the other man’s hand was indeed resting where the end of your dress and skin meet. You hadn’t even noticed. 
“What’s it to you, Mr. Harrington?”
When Steve chuckles, a giddy adrenaline sends chills through your body straight down to your core.
“Is this really the game you want to play, honey?”, he asks you as he absently gestures to the man across from you. 
“Excuse me but it sounds like you’re threatening this young woman, Steven.”, the man tries to defend. 
“That’s because I am, Xavier.”, he replies in an equally matched tone without breaking his eye contact from yours. “See, this young woman is Eddie’s girl and since he’s my best friend I have a responsibility to keep an eye on her.”
“And yet she was standing by herself near the wall all alone.”
Pain briefly flashes through Steve’s eyes; at you being alone or the fact that he didn’t notice, you weren’t sure. Sighing and shaking his head, he turns without saying another word and walks away leaving you in disbelief. 
That’s all? He’s not going to do anything? 
The heartbreak you felt was aggressively overwhelmed with anger as you got up from your chair and stomped towards your boyfriend. 
“EDWARD MUNSON! I need to talk to you NOW!”
His wide shocked eyes met yours as all conversation around him immediately ceased before regaining his composure to politely smile your way. 
“Baby, I’m in the middle of a conversation right now. Can it wait a moment?”
“No, it can’t but if you want to keep ignoring me and talking to these assholes you can!” The sound of Steve choking on his beverage as he laughed at your words behind Eddie’s shoulder caught your attention. “Shut up, Harrington! You’re just as much of an asshole as the rest of them!”
A couple of the men beside him snicker as your boyfriend’s angry eyes remain locked on you as his head tilts to the side. He’s never seen you behave this way and to be honest he found it fascinating even as he was seething. 
“Uh oh, Eddie. Sounds like someone’s girlfriend needs a tampon.”
For a moment, you think he’s going to ignore the rude comment as he continues to glare your way as his chest rises and falls in heavy fury filled breaths. 
“You know what, Kevin, one of our bands is playing at one of your venues next week right? I’m going to pull them and go with my second choice.”
“Now wait a minute, Ed—”
“NO, YOU WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!”, he abruptly yells the man’s way, making you jump. “Even though she’s being a brat, that’s still the woman I love so you will show her fucking respect! Am I being understood?!”
“Yeah, man. Yeah, we understand.”
Glancing behind him at Steve again, you notice him bite his bottom lip as his glassy eyes constantly rake over Eddie as he defends you. 
“Nothing hotter than watching Eddie get tightly wound.”
When he first told you that, you didn’t exactly have a frame of reference but seeing it now as the man you loved oozed and asserted his dominance was driving you crazy. 
Taking a hold of your hand, Eddie practically tugs you towards the exit with Steve in tow. Behind you, you hear one of the girls he had been talking to ask where he was going but the businessman ignored her question as he grabs the hand she had placed on his bicep and moves it to the side. 
“You want my attention, little girl, you got it.”, Eddie growled making your knees weak. 
##############
You couldn’t help but drag your feet a little bit as your boyfriend powerwalked into your shared apartment and made a beeline towards the bourbon. 
“Move.”, Steve commanded firmly as he lightly pushed you forward till you were in the middle of the wide-open living room. “Stay.”
“I’m not a fucking dog.”, you sassed under your breath right as he turned to leave. 
Smirking, he swiveled slowly back around to face you before roughly tangling his fingers in your hair and pulling your head back till your chin was jutting out in the air as your defiant eyes met his.
“Stop acting like a bitch and I’ll stop treating you like one.”, he replied calm and cooly as if he were whispering sweet nothings against your lips. “Now…stay.”
This time he backed away from you, raising his eyebrow as if to challenge you to speak again which you don’t take. 
“Are you alright?”, Steve asks genuinely as Eddie knocks back what’s in his glass and pours another. 
“She’s never done that before. She’s never been a brat like that.”
“Hm.”, he hums as they both shift their gazes your way. “Maybe, it’s been too long since Daddy’s shown little girl her place.” 
When worry paints Eddie’s features, his friend tenderly pushes his long hair out of the way so he can see his face. The action made your head tilt as you continued to study their personal dynamic. They seemed to care about each other very much but lately you often wondered why they never pushed past that best friend boundary. 
“Does it bother you? That she’s not as innocent as you believed her to be?” Without hesitation, the man shook his head making Steve toss a lighthearted smile your way as if to tell you everything was ok. “Eddie, she’s a big girl. She knows her limits and she knows your safe word. She been practically begging for your attention to the point that she caused a scene in front of those douchebags. Give baby girl what she’s asking for.”
“I don’t want to hurt her. I…I don’t know how to be like you, Steve.”
You couldn’t hear what they were saying but you could see the conflict in your boyfriend’s eyes. You wanted to assure him you were fine and that you trusted him. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.
“It’s ok, Eddie, baby.”
“Did either of us say you could speak, little girl?!”, Steve boomed making you yelp as you immediately silenced yourself. Like a devil on his shoulder, the businessman whispered in Eddie’s ear as he removed his suit friend’s suit jacket and tossed it to the side. “You see that? Really look at her, Eddie. She’s still that innocent, pretty girl you love to take care of. But sometimes…” While he spoke, Steve’s large palm gradually glided down Eddie’s chest, below his waist, and to the prominent bulge in his slacks. “…sometimes good girls need to be put in their place and reminded why they call you Daddy.”
Eddie’s eyes briefly met his friend’s before reaching out to forcibly crash his lips to his. The way Steve grinned and chuckled when they pulled away had a needy whine escape your chest as the ache between your legs grew. 
“Can you show me?”
“Yeah, baby, I can show you.”
After taking off his own jacket and rolling up his sleeves, he grabbed the long-haired man’s arm and maneuvered him till he was directly in front of you taking up all your personal space as his nose hovered just above yours. 
“Don’t take your eyes off his, Y/N.”
“Yes, Mr. Harrington.”
“Did you buy her this dress?”
“I buy all her dresses.”, Eddie answers flatly.
“Is this a favorite, Edward?”
His irises leave yours, slowly trailing down your body and back up to your face before shaking his head. As soon as he gets the go ahead, Steve rips your dress in two in his massive hands causing you to groan in pleasure as he aggressively yanks it off your frame. 
“Put your fucking hands down.”, he growls, reaching over to push at your arms when your automatically raise them to cover your breasts. As the businessman placed himself behind you, you could feel his gaze burning into your skin the same way Eddie’s was and you fully fell into that headspace making you feel small under their towering figures boxing you in. 
“Has your Daddy ever spanked you before?”
“No, Sir.”, your murmured in a tiny voice that had your boyfriend’s chest heave as he exhaled.
“Huh. Never been a bad girl or has he just been letting you get away with everything this whole time?”
“I-I-I’m a good girl, Mr. Harrington.”
“Mhmm. I’m going to spank you 10 times and when I’m done you’re going to thank me. Do you understand? Until then all I want to hear is ‘Yes, Sir’ or ‘No, Sir’ when I ask you something.”
“Yes, S-S-Sir.”
You squeaked when his palm abruptly connected with your behind. 
“Louder, Y/N. I want to fucking hear you or I start over. Now, I said, do you understand?”, Steve grumbled through clenched teeth in your ear. 
“Yes, Sir.”, you answered more prominently, satisfying him enough to take a step back and balance a hand on your shoulder. 
Your eyes remained glued to Eddie as his best friend spanked your ass a few times allowing some time in between before every slap. As you searched his features, you could tell your boyfriend was enjoying this. The way his mouth twitched into a small smirk every time a light moan left your lips and his now large dent trying to push through his pants told you he wanted nothing more than to fuck you till you were screaming his name. 
Steve seemed to have more control, his tone never wavering as he began throwing questions your way. 
“So you’re a good girl, huh. I may be mistaken but good girls respect their Daddies.”
“I do respect—Mmph!”
“That didn’t sound like a yes or no Sir to me.”, Steve scolded as he hit you again. “So you shouting at him in front of people he works with is respect?”
*SPANK*
“N-No, Sir.”
“Letting another man touch your leg is respect?” 
At that particular question, a fire lit in Eddie’s eyes making you tremble as you were spanked a bit harder than before. 
“No, Sir.”
“You let someone touch you?”, your boyfriend asked in a gruff tone you had never heard from him before. 
“I didn’t know his hand was—”
“Oh, bullshit. So you didn’t willingly sit at a bar with that guy thinking it would make Eddie jealous so you could get his attention?”
“Yes, Sir, but—”
“But what, Y/N? Huh?” Eddie’s fingers tangle in your hair and pull just like his friend had. “But what?!”
“You and Mr. Harrington were ignoring me!”, you cry as Steve’s hand comes down harder. 
“We’re busy men, Y/N, and you know that.”
“Busy flirting! Steve had girls touching him and—”
The man him leaned forward and your pussy clenched as both their breaths warmed your face. 
“Who am I in here, little girl? Do you need to be reminded every fucking time or are you just doing this to piss me off?” The sound of his palm hitting your skin reverberated loudly though the room. “Your Daddy may have let you get away with that shit but I won’t.”
“I’m sorry, Sir.”
“Little slut got fucking jealous because other girls were flirting with me.” *SPANK* “But instead of coming to talk to me you pouted and behaved like a spoiled brat trying to get my attention.” *SPANK* “And what’s your excuse with him, huh? Eddie would never hurt you like that.”
“D-D-Daddy didn’t notice w-w-when I was alone.”
Steve didn’t understand it but he heard it in your tone and saw it in his best friend’s eyes as they widened for a moment. Your words meant something to you both. 
“One more, Y/N. You…you did really well. You took your punishment like a good girl.”
Your eyes remained focused on Eddie as the other man held your bicep and reared back delivering you one final slap on your behind.
“Good. Good girl. What color are we at, honey?”
“Green, Sir. Thank you.”, you murmured as you softly began to cry. “You’ve been so busy these past few weeks, Daddy. You leave me alone a lot and when you are here you’re on the phone. Sometimes, when I get sad, I watch interviews with Mr. Harrington like you do but that just make me sadder be-because I miss him to. I miss you both.”
Eddie’s entire demeanor softened as he listened to you speak before shifting into that dominate energy you recognized immediately and hadn’t seen in so long. 
“Baby…”, he cooed. “Come here.”
You didn’t even hesitate as you jumped into his arms and wrapped your limbs around him. Holding you tightly, he carried you to the couch and gently laid you on your back. 
“I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. You tried to get my attention and talk to me so many times but I just brushed you off. Can I make it up to you, princess? Can Daddy make you feel good?”
“Please, Daddy, I need you.”
Reaching between your bodies, Eddie unbuckled his belt and pushed down his pants enough to free his cock before gradually guiding it into your core. 
“Fuck me, baby girl. You really—fuck—liked being spanked, didn’t you?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“So fucking wet…just making a mess all over Daddy. God, you feel so good.”
As he slowly thrust into you, Steve kneeled beside you both and tenderly pet your head. 
“I missed you to, Y/N. I think about you both all the time.”, he whispers as you open your eyes to meet his and Eddie does the same to glance down at his friend stroking his own cock. “You can always call me, honey. Whenever you want, day or night, I’ll answer.”
Taking a hold of his collar, you yanked his lips to yours causing him to smile into your kisses as your boyfriend pushed up onto his palms and rolled his hips roughly into you. 
“Can I—mmm—Can I see you kiss again?”, you whimpered as his grin grew. 
Eddie was so focused on your warm pussy squeezing him that he didn’t even turn his head when Steve ran his nose along his cheek forcing him to grab his jaw to bring his mouth to his. 
Their mouths casually opened as the businessman welcomed his friend’s tongue and Eddie couldn’t contain the groan that left as his whole body collapsed onto yours with his head falling beside yours. Your fingers threaded through his hair as you held him, listening to his repetitive grunts in your ear as his cock pounded into that sensitive spot inside you. 
“Just like that… Please, Daddy. I’m gonna cum. Cum with me, baby, please.”
Winking down at you, Steve sucked on his fingers and you watched with half-lidded eyes as he slid them between Eddie’s ass cheeks. 
“Jesus Christ!” When your boyfriend tried to lift his head, you held him to your neck as his pace quickened and he shuttered against you as you felt him paint your insides with his release. As your cunt continued to milk him, you trembled and moaned his name as you came with him.  
“God, you both are so fucking hot.”
Eddie tilted up, grazing the tip of his nose along yours while gently placing pecks on your lips. 
“Can I have him to, Daddy?”
“Of course, baby girl. If you think you can handle him right now.”, he answers in a gravelly, exhausted, pleasure filled tone that has you beaming.
“Honey, you should take a break.”
“I can handle it, Mr. Harrington. I swear. Please…”, you beg. “I missed the way you feel inside me.”
“Fuck me.”
Eddie chuckled at Steve’s earnestness as he backed out of the way so his friend could pull you to the floor and place you onto all fours in front of him. You whimpered as his soft lips kissed down your spine and he dragged the tip of his cock through your dripping folds. 
As he carefully began to press into your entrance, your upper half fell flat against the wood underneath you. 
“That’s it, pretty girl, you’re—fuuuuuuck—doing good. Just breathe.” Steve’s palms kneaded into the meat of your ass as he watched himself gradually disappearing inside of you. “God, I’ll never get over how tight t-this pussy is.”, he groaned before his hand came down to spank you making him laugh through his teeth. “You see, Ed, behind every innocent little girl is a freak who l-loves to be told to behave. Right, baby?”
“Oh, oh my… Yes, Sir.”
The businessman exhales heavily as he thrusts into you much easier than the last time. There was still that small bit of resistance as he stretched you open but your boyfriend helped open your pussy up for him and for that he was grateful. 
Gripping your hips, he adjusted you so he could push deeper inside, making you groan as he found a steady rhythm.
You vaguely heard it through your fog of pleasure, the sound of lips smacking. Craning your neck, you watched as Eddie passionately kissed his friend as his palm caressed his hairy chest up to the base of his neck. 
A low growl rumbled from him as Steve pressed his body flat against yours, rolling his waist as his breath warmed your ear. 
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it, little girl? When you called me an asshole.”
“I’m—mmm—I’m so sorry for…for being disrespectful, Sir.”
“This is your warning, Y/N. I’m not like your Daddy. If—mmph—if you ever behave like that again I’ll do more than just bring y-you home and spank you. Do you understand?” While he spoke, he had stopping moving eliciting a small whine from you as you tried to push back against him. Utilizing his knees, he pushed you down flat against the floor, pushing both your legs together and placing his hand roughly on the back of your neck. “I said, do you understand?”
In this new position, Steve’s cock somehow felt deeper inside of you as it pressed buttons you didn’t even know you had and your eyes rolled back. 
“Hey.”, Eddie barked sternly as your eyes met his from where he was still laying on the couch. “Answer Mr. Harrington’s question or else you won’t get to cum again.”
“N-No, Daddy. Please. Yes, I understand.”
Smirking, he gradually began to pump into you again with reckless abandon as you both whimpered at the feeling. Fulling encasing you in his embrace, Steve’s sweaty forehead landed on your shoulder as his palm appeared by your side near your cheek. 
Without even thinking about it, you intertwined your fingers with his and his glassy eyes opened to what you were doing. It had been so long since Steve had been in a committed relationship and partners were often coming and going from his place or hotel at will. 
A lot of the time, they submitted the way he liked and after the ecstasy filled evening ended they left him or he left them. People would be surprised how lonely he actually was and how much he occasionally craved comfortable intimacy. Someone to hold, take care of, or wake up to the next morning.
Eddie gave that to him when they were together and not just in a sexual manner. Steve felt like he could be himself with his friend, actually let go, and have some fun without fear that he was using him for his money or status. He would never admit it out loud but he constantly looked for him in other partners but had yet to find anyone… except you. 
No. He told himself long ago that he would never cross that romantic boundary for fear of losing the only true friend he had and now that you were in both their lives he didn’t want to lose you either. Steve would do anything he had to, to make sure he never went back to feeling like he did growing up with his father; worthless and empty. 
Without you two, he knew that would be the outcome. 
Your grip tightened around his hand and his eyes squeezed shut as your pussy quivered around him. As you came, his rhythm faltered as he roughly pounded his release into you. 
Steve panted as he carefully pulled out of you and sat up to lean his back against the couch. When you tried to curl your body around his, he pressed his palm against your chest to stop you making his heart break when your bottom lip started to quiver. 
“D-Did I…did I do something wrong, Sir?”
Eddie blinked as his protective mode promptly kicked in but as he began to lower himself down to the floor to defend you, your hand reached for Steve’s as you rose to your feet.
“Come on, baby. Daddy says aftercare is extremely important and we have a shower with a waterfall setting! It feels so good. Come on. Up, up.”, you reply in a playfully light tone as his amused eyes watch you before doing as you say. 
Your boyfriend slowly trailed behind keeping an eye on you while watching you work your magic. There had been times when he felt low or out of control and you took care of him till his smile returned. 
“Eddie? Everything alright?”, you coo as you place the bag you were holding down and climbed into his lap behind his desk. You knew he wasn’t working because even at home he would wear jeans or slacks to remain in that mindset. Right now, he was in his boxers and one of the comfy t-shirts you bought him with one of his favorite bands across the front. His intense eyes were focused on the computer screen in front of him where multiple pictures were spread out along the desktop. “Your mom was a gorgeous woman.”
Eddie sighs a shaky breath, taking the hand you had resting on his chest, and bringing it to his lips. 
“I like this photo here with you two laying in the grass outside. How old were you?”
“Um…4, I think.”
“Do you remember it?”
“I remember her laugh. The older you get the more memories fade but, for some reason, I’ve never forgotten her laugh.”
“I bet it was beautiful like yours.”
“Pfft.”, Eddie snorts. “My laugh is anything but.”
“Agree to disagree, baby. Then again, my laugh is perfect—”
“Oh, perfect, huh? Sweetheart, you give meaning to the term ‘guffaw’.” That big toothy grin you fell in love with spreads across his face as you prove his point by giggling loudly at his joke. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you to.”, you softly smile as he squeezes you against him. “I brought some burgers and beer. I was thinking we could watch a spooky movie or something.”
“Jesus, you’re perfect.”
“Feels good right?”, you beam up at Steve as he dips his head under the water and closes his eyes. Eddie steps in behind you and dutifully begins to clean you as you run your hands along his friend’s arms and down his chest before his eyes abruptly snap open at the sound of your hiss. “Ow, Daddy.”
“I know, princess. I know.”
Lightly grabbing your bicep, Steve turns you just enough to see Eddie trying to carefully clean between your legs but on his decent down your body grazed your sore, red behind. 
“If you have some aloe moisturizing lotion that will help the marks and, of course, and ice pack.”
“I don’t need ice. It was just the rough rag against my tender skin.” The businessman nods in understanding as his gaze starts to drift before your hands cup his cheeks forcing him to focus on you. “What’s running through your mind, Mr. Harrington? Is it me? Is it cause I called you an asshole?”
Steve smiles, showing you some of his teeth as he shakes his head. 
“I’m sorry I did that.”
As he leans forward, he gently kisses your forehead. 
“I forgive you.”
Once everyone is clean, you hand him your moisturizer and his grin grows as he rubs it along your ass. 
“Did you like it, the spanking? It wasn’t too hard or anything, right?”
“No, Sir, not too hard. I liked it a lot.”
“May I ask you something, honey?” He continues when you nod. “What made you try this with Eddie? Why didn’t you try the submissive thing with any of your other partners?
You can’t help but giggle when your boyfriend growls low in his throat at the mention of “other partners.”
“Honestly…I don’t know. I trust him and I feel safe with him. Eddie’s shown me so many amazing things and when he suggested this…I trusted him.” As you wrap your arms around him, he pulls your head tightly to his chest and kisses the top. “I trust you to, Steve. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
It takes him a couple of moments before he finally releases you so you three could climb into bed. While Steve fell asleep with your back to his chest, Eddie’s fingers gently caressed your face. 
“I really am sorry for neglecting you. I just got so caught up in this new band that I had tunnel vision.”, he whispered. 
“I know, baby. I forgive you. I’m sorry I didn’t voice my concerns like I should have. I swear I didn’t realize that guy had his hand on my knee. I was lost in thought thinking about you.” You see him nod in the darkness and you capture his hand to hold it in yours. “He likes us, Eddie…Steve. He likes us a lot but is holding back.”
The man in front of you sighs as he scoots his body a bit closer to yours. 
“Yeah, I know.”
“Do you like him?”
“I love him and I love you but it’s a bit more complicated than that, sweetheart.”
“How so?”
“Steve’s been hurt a lot. Not just by relationships but friends and family as well. He was my best friend first before we shifted into the sexual realm. If he loses me and now you…he feels like he’ll have no one.”
“But we would never hurt him like that.”
“I know. Trust me, I know but this is the way he wants it so I respect that. You know I’m usually straight forward with my feelings? Yeah he may come of that way and plays the role well but truthfully he hides them under the sarcasm and cocky attitude.” After rolling onto his back, he slides closer to you so you can rest your head on his chest. “How do you feel about that? You, me, and Steve being in a relationship.”
“I kind of feel like we already are but then I feel him pull back…”
“Yeah…Maybe when he wakes up we can all talk about it… Get everything out on the table.”
“What if he pushes us away?”
“I’m kinda used to that by now when it comes to him but I don’t want it to hurt you, baby girl. Do you think you could still do our dynamic here with both of us if he didn’t want anything romantic?”
You nodded without any hesitation. 
“Metal.” Eddie smiles when you giggle and tilts your head to kiss your lips. “Get some sleep, baby. I love you.”
“I love you to, Eddie.” Intertwining Steve’s fingers with yours, you bring the back of his hand to your mouth for a soft kiss. “I love you to, Steve.”, you whisper even though you knew he was sleeping. 
You both didn’t see but the businessman’s eyes flutter open.
He didn’t sleep a wink as his mind raced over his insecurities and fears. Occasionally, his thoughts would get lost as he watched Eddie’s chest rise and fall as he breathed. Pressing his nose into your hair, he would inhale your smell and absorb the warmth that was you as he imagined what a relationship with you both would be like. 
Steve saw himself genuinely happy for the first time in a long time and that scared him. 
That morning when you woke up, you rolled over to snuggle your face in his chest only to be met with a pillow and an empty bed where the man had been laying. 
################
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kedsandtubesocks · 8 months
Text
your heart, a sonnet
Author!Joel Miller x F!Reader
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summary: you discover there’s more to your boyfriend than you realize
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, no outbreak/modern AU & Joel has both his daughters, surprise hidden identity reveal, grumpy but soft!Joel who has a secret love language of writing and love letters, mentions of unspecified age gap (reader’s age is not mentioned but Joel is older & in his 50’s), light discussion of reader and Joel’s insecurities, reader is addressed as darlin/honey/baby, a few spicy moments where Joel gets handsy
word count: 5.3k
a/n: I know, I know… this doesn’t seem like the typical Joel fic but i blame Pedro’s look at the Hollywood star walk of fame ceremony because it immediately made me think ‘oh that’s Joel’ and now here we are lol I couldn’t have done this without my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you and i can’t thank her enough along with @ahauntedcowboy for always letting me scream about all my wild ideas, and now to you, if you’re reading this too I also can’t thank you enough ♡
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You first met Joel at a bookstore.
The weekend after your birthday you went in to treat yourself and wandered into the records section of the store. As you flipped through the selections, the sudden sight of a Fleetwood Mac album had you inhaling sharply in surprise.
“S’good one.” That’s when the sudden smooth drawl of a southern accent floated out to you.
A few steps beside you stood an absolutely gorgeous man. The evergreen plaid button up shirt he wore flattered him as if it was made to be only worn by him. Rugged and distinguished, he seemed like a romance hero plucked straight out from one of the books among the shelves. You even blinked a few times wondering if he was real.
“If you don’t take it, might have to fight ya for it.” Even with his gruff low voice, an underlying teasing nature radiated friendly and light.
Now, many months later, a piece of you believes you might have fallen for him right then and there.
Joel is a rare beautiful soul of a man. He’s strong and a bit rough around the edges. He used to work as a contractor, even managed to build a very reputable business with his brother. His hard work remains effortlessly etched into his hands that now type editing books, his current job. He’s kind, so deeply loyal and loves fiercely.
With a yawn, you slip out of bed to pull on his cozy Texas longhorn shirt.
Heading downstairs, you walk among the clouds.
Instead of working at his office desk, Joel sits at the dining table typing away. Just seeing him wear his reading glasses sends a delicious desire trickling through you like a soft rain.
His dark earth eyes flicker up over the edge of his laptop and his gaze softens.
“Was wonderin’ when you were gonna wake up.” His wonderfully smooth as molasses voice makes you want to get caught up in its sticky sweetness.
“It’s not even that late. You’re one who woke up wanting to get work done on a Saturday.” You scoff playfully yet press your lips to his, a soft good morning greeting.
“Besides…who’s the reason I slept in so soundly, hm?” You smile against Joel’s lips that now twitch with a smirk.
His large warm hand slowly creeps up against your bare leg and rubs soft against your skin. After a few sleepy kisses, Joel’s tongue smoothly slips into your mouth trying to now consume you with a syrupy heat.
Joel pulls you down onto his lap. Your hands run up his chest to his cherub curly gray hair. His lips leave yours to start nipping at your jaw.
“What happened to working, cowboy?” You sigh softly.
“Come keep me company, darlin’.” He breathes out and any hope of maybe making breakfast is happily forgotten.
The rest of the morning unfolds at a nebulous pace you bask in.
When a late brunch is finished and you start cleaning up the kitchen, Joel’s warm solid hands map out your hips with other plans in mind. He slides behind you, a towering comfort that you lean back against.
“You’re extra handsy today Mr. Miller.” You tease.
“I can stop?” Joel offers while his scruffy beard scrapes a path against your skin. Against you, his broad shoulders, his wonderfully built frame, wraps you in his protective cover.
You hum a content no and move your hands over his now.
“Just wanna enjoy being with ya before I get busy.” Joel mutters while his hand slides down your cozy lounge shorts.
You had forgotten about his upcoming work plans.
You already want to mourn the impending weekend without him, but that can wait for another day. Especially when his thick fingers delicately, so sinfully, run up and down your underwear playfully touching you.
But then that weekend arrives and it brings a hollowness.
Lounging on the couch back at the apartment you share with your best friend, you force yourself not to text Joel again. He’s busy and you know this. So you vow to hold all your yearning and longing chained inside like a Jane Austen heroine.
“Are you done sulking?” Your best friend teases from the kitchen and you glare at her from the couch.
“I get it, being awake from your hunky handsome older boyfriend is hard. What will you ever do?” She snickers playfully. You’re tempted to throw the nearby couch pillows at her.
“What did you say his job was?” She asks.
“He used to be a contractor, but now he’s a book editor.” You answer.
“A hardworking hot Texas cowboy who reads and is a good man? Yeah, keep him locked up.” Your best snorts and you understand exactly what she means.
Fanged temptation claws at you more to text him again. Joel promised he would call you tonight and you don’t doubt him. But you didn’t realize how badly you’d missed him.
“Alright,” your best friend declares. “No more moping! I’m dragging you out with me to that book signing I’ve been talking about.”
She’s been obsessed with this apocalyptic novel series for so long. You happily tag along and even perk up when you see how excited she gets.
“And the author is finally doing a book tour! He’s kept his identity hidden this entire time so I wanna get a chance to maybe just even see him!” Your best friend gushes the entire time she drives you both to the bookstore the signing would be held.
Just so happens it’s the same bookstore where you first met Joel. A deep surge of affection swallows you whole and you float on blissful lovesick nostalgia.
Then the impressive line already waiting outside the front doors stuns you.
“I told you! It’s a big deal! Plus the series is so good.” Your best friend exclaims. She has been trying to get you into the series for a while.
The core of it focuses on two young girls who manage to survive an apocalyptic fungal zombie outbreak. The series follows the girls growing up, the journey to live with each other, and how it slowly bonds them as sisters.
“I heard they’re trying to make a Netflix series on it.” Your friend adds hopeful.
You can’t help but snag your best friend’s book copy she also hopes will get signed. Flipping through the front pages you land to the dedication page.
“To my baby girls, this will always be for you two.”
The author must have based the series on their daughters. That’s adorable.
Now curious, you flip to the first chapter.
“After seeing the end of the world, after witnessing the carnage of life consume itself, Ellie thinks she’s seen it all.”
Your best friend's sudden excited laugh pulls you out of the book. She’s talking with the other fans in line and you decide to join in.
Everyone discusses how worth the wait will be and how most of them even purchased the newest released book to make sure they reserved a slot for the signing.
“So why’s the author finally doing a face reveal?” You ask quietly not wanting to seem too out of place.
“So apparently,” your best friend begins in her hush about to spill the good gossip voice. “Some random ass moron on Twitter came out and said they were the true author. It became a whole messy issue of who it really was.”
Your best friend goes into more detail about how even a couple of online sites had articles on it.
“That’s awful.” You sympathize with the author. It must’ve been a headache trying to enjoy the peace of anonymity only for it becoming something used against them. You can only imagine how heartbreaking it was to see others steal and take credit for your work.
Like a surprise strike of lightning, an electric excitement suddenly breaks through the air.
Glancing up, you watch the line rapidly move towards the front doors. Time to go in.
Unfortunately, the main seating for the reading and q&a fills up fast. The bookstore though manages to wrangle the remainder of the crowd that can fit on the first floor towards a section where they can watch. It’s more than enough for your best friend who’s about to burst with anticipation. The buoyant commotion in the room even pulls you into its current and you get excited to see the new surprise author.
Soon a chic handsome older looking man, the moderator of the event, scurries to the front of the gathered group.
Warmly he begins the introduction to the writer.
First, writing sweet children’s books, stories for his daughters, those works became the author’s first publications. After that he navigated apocalyptic writing and his hit series has earned critical acclaim.
“Simply known as the anonymous writer J Miller. I’ve had the greatest pleasure to know this man as both his friend and now agent and I’m beyond proud to introduce him to you. Everyone please help me in welcoming J Miller!”
The thunderous applause and screams of excitement galvanize the entire room.
Then Joel walks out from the side.
Your heart instantly leaves your body.
For a moment you think your lovesick yearning heart has you slightly projecting Joel in any man you might see.
But the minute you focus, truly watch him slide into the chair, you see him.
Soft gray grown out curls, a strong beautiful nose, the patchy beard with the spots you love to kiss, and his reading glasses - the ones he’s so self conscious about because of how they make him look “so good damn old,” yet you love how they distinguish and elevate his appearance. You even remember the first time Joel wore them while he read waiting for you.
Truth makes its way into your heart.
It’s Joel.
The famous mystery author is your Joel.
“Thanks Frank.” And when he takes the mic, thanking his agent, his slick southern sunset voice melts the crowd.
“So, uh he’s gorgeous?!” Someone behind you squeals.
“Who would’ve thought he’d be this hot?!” Someone adds.
The whispers and mummers swarm like wasps buzzing all around you and you want to swat at them.
You can’t wrap your mind around this or the amount of emotions rushing through you. You feel separated from your body, floating detached from the scene and trying to gather yourself back.
Why didn’t he tell you?
Did he not trust you?
Joel suddenly laughs at something Frank says, that gruff wonderful laugh you hear after you show him a ridiculous video or his daughters tease him. It snaps you back into awareness.
“He’s about to read a section!” Your friend giddily whispers under her breath
Now you fully focus on this man, this almost stranger.
He’s so handsome it isn’t fair. He looks like a distinguished professor and your throat tightens seeing how broad his shoulders look in the dark casual suit jacket he wears.
“One of my favorite parts.” He admits quietly. “It’s when Ellie and Sarah realize they can make it outta Pittsburgh together.”
His daughters. He named his characters after them.
Joel clears his throat and begins.
He reads the passage with a magnetic cadence. The words slip from him like the smooth drink of whiskey that lingers on your tongue. When he finishes, an ache twists in your chest.
The applause he gets is shatteringly loud. The smallest bit of pride does float through you. But confusion drowns it out.
The floor now opens to quick questions. Some are about the book itself and the certain decisions made writing wise. Others are obviously about why he stayed hidden for so long.
That one perks you up quickly.
In such typical Joel fashion, he shrugs.
“Just couldn’t figure out Twitter, s’all.”
Everyone laughs at his playful reply and you do as well, but it sounds hollow and watery.
Soon enough the last question arrives.
“Do you ever see yourself writing for any other genres? I mean, we’ve seen horror and some moments of romance in the series. So I’m just curious if you’d write anything else?!” The lady asks brightly and now you simply settle your thoughts aside to listen.
Joel chuckes, a bit breathless and his gaze drops. This entire time he’s teetered between a sly southern charm that’s hypnotized you, to being guarded almost a bit nervous.
But now a boyishly hesitant grin falls over him and it’s so familiar.
”Uh, guess romance would be the next I’d maybe try.” He answers low, bashful.
The crowd erupts into fangirl like shrieks.
“Right?! I keep saying he doesn’t know the potential he has if he became a romance writer!” Frank, who has such a bright and lovely personality, adds.
Too many emotions clash in you.
You wonder if he wants to explore romance writing because of you?
Or a much harsher voice creeps out from the back of your mind whispering maybe you’re just being used for source material.
You quickly stomp those thoughts away.
The rest of the event shifts to the signing and you walk in a sort of guided daze.
“You okay?” Your best friend asks gently, noticing your slight mood change.
You don’t have the heart to tell her the truth yet. This was something she had been looking forward to and you didn’t want to ruin her excitement or experience. So you wearily just smile and tell her your head simply started hurting.
She sympathetically nods.
“Thankfully we won’t be waiting too long.” She adds and explains how the signing would be called by groups.
“We might not have gotten seats, but we did manage to sneak into group A for the signing.” She grins proud and it lifts your spirits.
The line curls against the sides of the bookshelves blocking your view of Joel. It becomes both a blessing and a curse.
Maybe you should wait in the car for his and your sake?
However, something inside you slightly bitter, raw and wanting answers, decides to stay. Besides you, your dear friend tries to keep herself calm but you can sense her bubbling nervous energy.
“I’d be calmer if he wasn’t so damn attractive.” She hisses and a jealous flare gently rises in you.
“Just think,” you reassure her. “He’s probably just as nervous as you.”
The relieved comforted grin she gives you makes staying worth it. But then all of that flies out the window the closer and closer you get to Joel.
Petrified dread claws its way in when you realize your best friend is next in line.
“He looks kinda familiar now that we’re closer.” The casual comment your friend says makes your heart sink.
“Maybe.” You mutter.
The times Joel has been to your place your roommate, your best friend, has been either at work or sleeping. You can only think of the first instant you introduce Joel to her when he picked you up on a date.
Your eyes flicker straight to Joel.
His hair seems so perfectly curled and his dark jacket highlights his wonderful grays.
Thankfully, any discussion of who he might look like gets squashed because your best friend gets called next in line. She turns to you squeaking excitedly and you beam back bright.
Joel lifts his eyes up, like a true southern gentleman wanting to give someone his full attention.
You wait on the side and watch the interaction unfold. Joel chuckles at something your best friend says and you’re glad she’s enjoying herself.
The book signing is done so fast. In a blink, it’s finished. With her newly signed book, your friend turns to you. She makes a slightly embarrassing but endearing noise of excitement that has you laughing.
That’s when your eyes flicker over to Joel and your gaze locks with his.
Instantly, Joel’s handsome face drops. His gorgeous earth eyes widen as he immediately recognizes you. His mouth falls open slightly and a flash of something close to fear fills the depths of his eyes.
He breathes out your name on a shaky exhale.
Everything seems to slow and stop. You don’t know what to say. So all you do is weakly smile.
The fleeting moment fades. The next group in line already giggles moving towards the table.
Time’s up. Turning on your heels to leave with your friend, Joel calls out to you, calls your name.
“Wait!”
You freeze.
Glancing back at him, Joel’s eyes pin you on the spot. An unspoken heaviness hangs in his deep eyes while he stares intently at you.
“It’s okay, we’ll talk later.” By some strange possession of slight bravery, or maybe delusion, you manage to speak.
But it’s all you can say and it’s all you can do before Frank, Joel’s agent, slides in to whisper something to him.
The moment again shatters.
Your best friend however grills you the rest of the day
That’s when you pull out your phone. You show her a photo you secretly took of Joel. It’s one where he’s adorably glaring at his ipad while he tried ordering take out for dinner.
Your best friend shrieks. “He’s your boyfriend?!”
He is.
Your boyfriend, Joel, is a writer, a very famous best selling author.
And that weight yanks you under a dangerous current you can’t seem to swim against.
Even after lunch, even getting back to your apartment and trying to settle your thoughts, your emotions are still so tangled.
You mindlessly scroll through your phone for the rest of the day and a blink, you notice it’s already early evening. Your plan to stay sulking is ruined when your phone starts ringing so loud.
It’s Joel.
“Hello?” You answer as composed as you can.
“Darlin?” His beautiful rich voice sounds hesitant and guarded.
“Hi.” You reply back quietly.
“Can we talk?” He asks just as low.
You agree, expecting to have the discussion on the phone. Except a knock taps on your apartment door and scares you right out of your body.
Ever proactive, ever the man who takes action, Joel stands waiting for you when you open the door.
You’re thankful more than ever that your best friend went to the gym for the evening.
“Wanna sit outside for a bit? Maybe get some air? S’really nice outside today.” He offers gentle.
He’s breaking up with you. That’s what your mind jumps to.
At least the weather is surprisingly kind this early evening.
You’ve sat out here on your apartment’s decent sized balcony with Joel before. But now the energy between you and him shifts strangely.
The sky stretches above a soft sherbet orange. A breeze comes, thankfully not too cold, but you think about maybe heading in to grab a blanket.
Joel however quickly slings off his jacket and drapes it over you. Always the gentleman.
The smell of his cologne, so comforting and masculine, wraps around you like a cloud.
You thank him with a soft small smile and Joel nods. Then he sighs and leans forward on the folding chair.
“Always loved the outdoors.” He begins, a small olive branch of a conversation to break the tension. “The girls and I love hiking the trails out by the lake. You ever been?”
You shake your head no.
“Maybe one day we can all go together.” The comment holds hope, a delicate thread of it. Yet you catch the hesitation.
Your eyes flicker to him, confused and cautious.
“Wait, you aren’t breaking up with me?” You blurt out, maybe just wanting to get it over with. You hate the way your voice cracks slightly.
Joel, with his beautiful concerned wide eyes, snaps his face to you.
“What? Honey no. Thought maybe you’d be the one maybe tryin’ to break up with me.” Joel, who Sarah jokes about how some of their neighbors question if he’s perpetually grumpy, stares at you with a tenderness that melts you to your core.
You can’t help but laugh watery.
“Why d’ya think I’d want to end things with you?” He asks patiently.
You can think of so many.
He’s a famous writer who’s about to maybe become an online sensation. He’s older than you, wiser and seasoned. He’s a full on father with young teenage daughters.
So you reveal your heart to him and all the fears that dwell in its shadows. You wipe away a few tears that manage to spill out.
Joel moves to hold your hands in his, a guarded warmth and protection keeping you stable.
With a heavy sigh, Joel’s attention fully focused on you.
“Honey…I’m so sorry for not telling you about my work, about me, sooner.” He earnestly apologizes and his words drip with comforing earnesty.
Now his gaze drops down to where your hand sits in his.
“Didn’t want it complicatin’ things with us. I knew I had to tell you eventually. But really…I was worried you’d see me differently once you knew. I know I don’t seem like the writin’ type anyway.” He mutters and you miss the hint of embarrassment coloring his tone.
You squeeze his hands.
This could never make you look at Joel in a negative light. If anything, you now feel proud knowing he’s a writer. You do explain your worries though and the ache you felt knowing he kept his from you.
“I know darlin’ and I promise,” he squeezes your hands now. “No more secrets between us.”
“You…us…means more to me than you’ll know.” He adds and you draw his hands up to your mouth.
You kiss his worn hands, his hard working beautiful hands that now move to hold your face so tenderly in their grasp. His thumb strokes your bottom lip delicately as if you’ll disappear from his sight.
“Can I kiss ya baby?”
You nod and in that same breath Joel pulls you towards him. He kisses you light, delicate enough that you feel so precious and treasured within his hold.
It seems like such a simple small kiss but it soaks into your bones.
You have so many questions. And as much as you’d like to make out with your boyfriend on the balcony, you’d like answers.
So you pull away and stand up.
Joel looks adorable as confusion paints his face.
“Don’t worry I’m just getting us a blanket.” You grin at him as you sling on his jacket claiming it as your own.
Blanket in hand you now curl up with him in the lawn chair, thankful for its sturdiness and cozy size. Your heart soars at how quickly Joel pulls you into his arms and basically onto his lap.
It feels like it’s been months since you’ve last been with him, or maybe that’s just how exhausting today was.
Joel sighs content and pleased once you fully rest against him. Hesitantly you ask if it’s okay if you can talk about him, about his work.
“Ask away honey. I’ll tell ya everything n’ anything.” He says firm.
You grin and your thumb starts stroking the back of his hand.
“So what made you decide to reveal yourself now? I heard there was an issue about someone saying they were you?” You ask, thinking of the discussions earlier with your best friend.
“Yeah..” Joel now sighs tired with an ancient weariness that settles over his handsome face.
“Sarah was the one who saw it first on Twitter or wherever it was.” He adds with a grumble.
Your heart aches knowing one of the girls saw it first.
“Didn’t help either that I ain’t online. So it became a whole fuckin’ mess we had to deal with it a couple months back.”
A light bulb goes off inside your brain.
“Was that when you said you had to visit a family friend out of town?” You connect the dots.
“Yup.” Joel nods. “Went to visit Frank, my agent, to try and figure this shit out. Could’ve let it all maybe die down but… ya know.” He huffs and you understand completely.
Joel is too stubborn, a bit too prideful. You almost snort amused just over the thought of him trying to let the situation blow over.
“Frank wants to meet ya by the way.” Now his voice dips with a bashful tone while his hands begin softly stroking your thighs.
“I’d love to meet him too.” You truthfully tell Joel.
“So, are you going to be online now? Should I start making secret accounts to follow you?” You now tease and Joel barks a beautiful amused laugh.
“Baby, I’m over 50. The only apps I need on my phone are candy crush and ESPN. Ain’t got the time or patience for social medias.”
Now you’re the one laughing.
It feels freeing, blissful, like this is the first moment you’re spending time with him all over again. Yet, there’s a deeper sacred connection that settles.
You can’t help but kiss him again and Joel eagerly welcomes you on his lips.
Now his lips move fervently, almost possessively, against yours, licking and trying to consume you. A small moan squeaks out of you.
“Come on baby,” he mutters, shifting you against his lap so that you fully feel his hardness straining against his pants. “Wanna taste ya.”
You’re thankful you manage to drag him back inside because you can’t imagine getting intimate with Joel on the balcony. Well, at least not yet. But that was a thought for another day.
Now in the afterglow’s soft relaxing peace you wish for more time with him.
But Joel must sense that ache too.
“S’late honey. Come back home with me. Even if it’s just for the night.” He mutters against your lips and you can’t deny him. You don’t want to deny him or the aching tug pulling you to him.
That night you fully embrace every inch of the man Joel Miller is and let a dizzying adoration for him swallow you whole.
The next morning, in the soft early still dark shade of his room, Joel wakes you with a tender kiss to your forehead.
“Gotta go meet with Frank for the day. I’ll see ya later, honey.” He mutters against your cozy heated skin.
You hum a soft agreement and sleepily wish him a goodbye before falling back to sleep. After that, you wake up later to a colder and empty bed.
Tugging on another one of Joel’s shirts you head downstairs already missing his presence.
And when you get downstairs, there on the table sits the most gorgeous floral arrangement. Its beautiful vibrant blooms make your heart flutter so fast against its cage.
A folded paper sits beside the flowers. Your name is written on the front in Joel’s slightly chicken scratch like handwriting.
You scramble fast to grab it.
A letter, he’s written you a letter.
“Honey,
I know I’ve already apologized and you’ve forgiven my old undeserving ass.”
You snort at that line but continue on.
“But I just wanted to fully apologize to you again. Might take me a while until I stop, but just be patient with my old bones yeah?”
You would. Your heart would and will always wait for him.
“Doesn’t seem like it but, I aint that good at talking about things, about my feelings. Shocker right?”
You smirk. You know he isn’t good with words - that’s why it almost feels ironic and a bit unreal that he’s an author.
You’ve discovered Joel shows his affection through his actions.
He spent an entire day rearranging a business scheduling conflict just so that Tommy didn’t have to worry about it. Joel never missed a single one of Ellie’s basketball games. Sarah only prefers a certain type of orange juice and Joel never fails to only get that one.
The first few weeks you started dating Joel you got sick with a nasty cold. He dropped off a whole bag of various items like tissues and cough drops. It was then you knew his heart shines through his actions.
He sometimes surprises you with an order from your favorite take out spot. He never lets you touch a door, always opening them for you instead. He’s the most generous lover and never fails to remind you of how tender, how consuming, his passion can be.
Joel does grumble, sometimes even seems grouchy, but he loves fiercely.
And now here he is showing you this side of him, this form of himself as a writer.
So you return to reading his letter.
“I got into writing because it helped me process all my emotions, my thoughts, the good and bad days - everything. And sharing my writing with others, especially with someone as important as you, still makes me feel so vulnerable. Funny how that worked out though huh? Guess fate wanted to drag my ass and make me face my fears and vulnerability and whatnot.”
Someone as important as you - The line makes your heart flutter.
“I know I told you the reasons why I didn’t tell you. But another reason was because I was afraid.
I was afraid of how much you mean to me. Telling you about this part of me would be taking a bigger step. And it scared me shitless. Cause darlin’ I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. Like, as Ellie loves to say, in such a long time that ‘dinosaurs weren’t even fossils.’
That makes you laugh a bit watery but you let his words carry you again.
“You make my damn heart race when you smile. I get so worked up just seeing you walk around my house as if you were always meant to be here. And I didn't want to lose that either. I still don’t.
You feel like a bright future, like waking up after a cloudy week and the sun greets you so nicely. And I just wanna stay in that warmth, your warmth.
Yeah sorry, that line might be too romance novel writer for my league…but like I said I’m thinking about it. And it’s because of you.
We said no more secrets yeah?
So I’m not lying when I say you’ve become so god damn important to me. And I wanna see more days with you, as many as you’ll have with me.
Fuck. This damn letter already feels too long and I hate my old ass for rambling and maybe not making sense. But I adore you honey. Plain in simple.
And I’m just gonna leave it at that.
Don’t miss me too much and I’ll see you soon.
P.S I picked that bookstore as the tour’s first stop here because it’s where I met you… and I’ll always be grateful for that
-Joel”
You now fight back an absolute ocean’s worth of adoration for this man.
Tears clog your throat and you try not letting them flood your vision, but it’s so hard. So hard when you’re this head over heels.
You don’t want to say it yet, and you don’t know if he’s even ready to say it, but the emotion filling you like a newborn star feels like love.
You barely manage to send out a text thanking him and hoping you’ll get to talk to him soon.
Joel, ever the endearing man he is, replies back with a simple heart emoji and you laugh.
You really might love this man.
And you hope, you so brightly hope, that he maybe loves you too.
You think of his book series, of how he became a writer simply wanting to tell his daughters stories. Those stories grew out of his love for them and now he gets to crystallize that among his pages.
You realize how writing truly is its own form of love.
After all, what better way for a writer to show their love, their heart, than to capture you in their words?
You think that’s where writers must live now, in the heart. Or maybe - your maybe gruff handsome one just does. And you happily welcome Joel’s place in yours and hope he resides there forever like a love poem etched into your very soul.
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captainfern · 1 year
Text
Give It To Me
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x fem!reader
["Give It To Me" by Timbaland]
[18+]
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• summary - you've always had a crush on your best friends older brother. looks like he has a crush on you too lol. • rating - 18+ • wordcount - 4.7k • warnings - fem!reader, best friend's older brother!gaz, unprotected piv, oral [f!receiving], fingering, praise, alcohol consumption, you smoke weed with gaz, you fuck while you're high too, strong language
ok ok there are not enough fanfics of gaz on this bloody app and enough is enough i say. proud gaz whore right here 🙏 gaz nation rise up !!! also i LOVE timbaland like early 2000s music has no right to slap that hard.
this wasn't requested at all lol but hey maybe it's just a 1k special. lots of luv x
the hat stays on while we fucking— yoooo who said that that's crazy ????
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You had always had this stupid crush on your best friend's older brother.
How could you not? Just look at him.
He was nice, funny, a bit shy but yet still such a social butterfly. He was ridiculously attractive, too, obviously. Pretty dark eyes, a perfect smile and— good lord— abs that you could see whenever he wore that tight compression shirt during his morning workouts.
Spending the night at your best friend's house was always so much fun. Yeah, your friend was the best and you always had such a good time with her. But, if you woke up at just the right time and, conveniently, went downstairs to get a glass of water, you'd run into Gaz. Compression shirt on, dampened slightly with sweat, as he stirred up his protein shake at the kitchen counter.
You'd feign innocence. Hi Gaz, what brings you up at this hour? Real subtle, you thought, considering you'd found yourself in this exact situation four times. But hey, you can't blame yourself. He just looked... so good.
So, for the longest time, it was always a stupid crush. Nothing more than that.
Until it was more than that.
The ball began to roll the day he returned home from deployment a month or so ago.
You were lounging on the couch, your best friend in the shower, when he stumbled into the house, looking absolutely beat. He saw you first as he closed the front door.
"Hey." He smiled.
"Hey, Gaz," you smiled back. "Welcome back."
"Thanks," he laughed breathlessly. "I'm so happy to be home."
He looked around the quiet, empty house. You could only just hear the shower upstairs running. Gaz exhaled through a laugh, shaking his head slowly.
"So much for a welcome committee." He joked.
"Hah, were you expecting one?" You asked, smiling.
He shrugged. "I mean, it would've been nice. I've been gone for three and a half weeks, you know, risking my life and all."
"Oh, I'm sorry, thank you for your service," you mock saluted from the couch, much to his amusement. He smiled at you, finally dumping his duffel bags in the hallway near the door. You cocked your head at him, jokingly saying: "Would you like me to be your welcome home committee?"
He faked appreciation, placing a hand to his chest and pouting. "I would be honoured. Thank you."
"Oh my god." You rolled your eyes, and the both of you laughed while you got off the couch.
You crossed the room, clearing your throat as you stretched your arms wide. "Sergeant Garrick! It's so great to have you home!"
He laughed again, smile stretching wider as he wrapped his arms around your middle, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. He leaned back, your feet leaving the ground and making you release a noise of surprise. After hugging you tight, he gently lowered you back to the floor.
"Thank you." He smiled.
You pat his chest. "Of course. Thank you for your service."
He still had his hands on your waist when you said that.
And that was only the beginning.
The ball was rolling slowly, but steadily. A few weeks later, after days of joking with one another— flirting? you weren't sure— and throwing banter back and forth, it happened again. A moment between you two that contributed to the shift in your dynamic.
He stumbled into the house in the early hours of the morning, drunk as fuck. You and your friend had been up all night watching movies, and she had only just fallen asleep upstairs. You told her you were going to get a drink of water so, as Gaz staggered into the house, you were at the kitchen sink, a half-drunk glass of water in your hand.
He was tripping over his feet, muttering something, laughing to himself. You watched him silently, as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He dropped to his knees, failing to crawl up them. He gave up, and slouched against the bannister.
"Rough night?" You asked him, placing the cup in the sink.
"Mhm," he muttered, pulling himself away from the stairs and into the kitchen. "V-very rough."
He sank onto one of the barstools, swaying slightly.
You shook your head at him, grabbing a fresh glass and filling it with water. You slid it to him, and he happily accepted.
"Thanks," He slurred, and chugged the whole glass. He pushed the empty glass back towards you. "More?"
You gave him a look as you took the glass. It was meant to be a “slow down” kind of look, but he clearly took it a different way.
"More, please, love." He said, resting his head on his arms, watching you with hooded eyes as you refilled his glass.
"Drink this one slowly," you said, giving it to him. He did, sipping at the water as you watched. "Special occasion, was it?"
He swallowed his mouthful. "Not really, but Soap's in town. He... he can drink me under the t-table, Jesus Christ. He had like... f-five hundred more pints than... than me and he walked outta there fine."
You laughed quietly. "Your fault for taking him on."
He hummed, finishing his glass. When he passed it back to you, he gave you a lazy smile. "Thanks, love."
"Sure." You said calmly. Your stomach was doing fucking backflips.
He hummed again, watching you place the glass in the sink. When you turned back around, his eyes dropped for just a moment. Not enough to make you uncomfortable, but long enough to make you say—
"My eyes are up here, Garrick."
His lips quirked further, smirk unfaltering. "I like your pyjamas."
You rolled your eyes. Short shorts, a loose fitting tee that you have no idea where it came from, fuzzy slippers.
"Whatever." You scoffed.
"No, I do," he said, still smiling. "That's my shirt."
Your body went hot.
"Seriously?"
"Mhm..." He chewed at his bottom lip.
Your best friend had loaned it to you. That bitch—
"I'm so sorry. Do you want it back?"
"Oh my god, no, don't even worry," he sounded sincere for just a moment, before: "It suits you better, anyway."
Moments like these continued to happen.
And eventually, the ball rolled to it's final destination: today, your best friends birthday.
She was pretty popular, considering she did a whole bunch of extra-curricular activities and made friends with quite literally everyone she met. So her house was packed full of people, most of whom you knew, drinking and dancing to music that would most likely cause a noise complaint further into the night.
You had had a fair bit to drink. Not enough to be absolutely pissed, but enough to have your body buzzing and your eyelids fluttering if you sat down for a bit too long. Your best friend, on the other hand, was drunk as hell. You spent half the night making sure she didn't somehow end up on the roof like last year. But that was a whole other story.
Later into the night, your friend had wandered off— safely, thank god— to join a game of beer pong in the dining room. You needed some fresh air, so you made your way onto the front porch, devoid of any people.
You could still hear the people and music pulsing together inside, and you took a deep breath, cool air filling your lungs. You felt yourself sobering up as the chilled air hit your bare skin. Probably for the best, anyway.
"Had enough, eh?"
You recognised the voice. The voice you were weirdly attracted too. Was it weird to be attracted to a voice? Probably. Maybe you were over thinking—
Gaz sat down beside you on the front step, your knees brushing.
"Yeah, just wanted to chill for a bit." You told him, the warmth of his body beside yours really making the alcohol clear out of your head.
"Fair enough," he said. "Birthday girl's had a bit to drink, hasn't she?"
You bit out a laugh. "You have no idea. I don't think I've seen her touch anything other than alcohol all night. She's gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."
"Her fault." He said, humour in his words.
He looked over at you, taking in your face for a second. You met his eyes, head cocked slightly as he smiled at you.
"What?" You smiled.
"You smoke?" He asked.
You shrugged. "Depends."
Gaz laughed. "Depends on what?"
"Depends who I smoke with," you replied. "By myself? Sure. With your sister? Sure."
"What about with me?" Gaz asked, patting his jacket pocket.
"Sure." You said simply, the two of you fighting smiles.
•º•
A little while later, you were sitting on Gaz's bed, right beside the semi-open window. You'd never been inside his room before, so you were intent on playing it cool. It was much how you expected it to be. Simple, but him. Photos from his high school days, from his days in the military. A punching bag in the corner— which, on any other day, would have been a red flag if it wasn't Gaz we were talking about here.
He passed you the joint, fingers brushing yours. He was slouched against the bed, too, head resting on the windowsill, peering out the window. Wisps of smoke furled from his lips, disappearing into the night.
You giggled at the sight before inhaling, taking a couple of hits before rolling the joint mindlessly between your fingers. Your slightly hooded eyes watched Gaz and the way his own eyes darted across the sky, looking at the stars. Then, as you put your lips around the tip of the blunt again, his eyes fell on you.
"You good?" He asked, sitting up as you passed the joint to him.
You smiled at him. "Mhm."
The music was loud downstairs. You could feel the vibrations coursing through the walls as you leaned your head against it. You had butterflies in your stomach, a warm, fuzzy sensation in your brain and your cheeks were beginning to hurt from the strength of your smile.
Gaz took a few lazy hits from the blunt over the span of a couple of minutes. You watched him in silence, chewing at your bottom lip. You watched the way his eyelashes fluttered, how his pupils had expanded in the moonlight, and how he wet his lips with his tongue after every inhale. You now had a second heartbeat deep in your core, and you released a shaky exhale.
"You're so pretty..." You sighed, watching the way he twisted the narrow joint between the knuckles of his index and middle finger.
He hummed, eyes darting across your face. "I think that's supposed to be my line."
You giggled behind your hand, body heating up more than it already was. You shifted against the mattress of his bed, blankets bunching beneath you, smelling of him.
"You think I'm pretty?" You asked in a whisper, reaching over and plucking the blunt from Gaz's fingers. He watched you take a hit, his tongue pressed to the corner of his mouth in concentration.
He nodded as the joint tip glowed. He kept nodding, slowly, lazily, until you passed it back to him. You held it out to him, fighting a smile, wiggling it in front of his face, fresh embers flickering.
Instead, he gently grabbed your wrist— as though you were the most fragile being on earth— and pulled you closer to him. You obliged, shuffling along the bed on your knees until they knocked against his own, your silhouettes framed by the moonlight streaming in from the partially opened window.
Still holding your wrist, Gaz lowered his mouth and took a deep hit, eyes locked to yours. Your stomach flipped, brain feeling extra fuzzy and warm as you locked your eyes onto his glossy brown ones. Then, without exhaling, he gently pried the rest of the blunt from your fingers and placed it on the ashtray on the windowsill.
He pulled you closer until you were straddling his lap, thighs beneath yours. He placed one hand on the small of your back, the other cupping the side of your head. He guided your face down to his and you parted your lips in a small gasp. When your lips brushed— not quite a kiss— he exhaled the smoke into your mouth, tendrils of ghostly white passing between your mouths. You released a sound, low in your throat, as you felt the smoke swirl, bitter, into your mouth, your eyes fluttering while you struggled to maintain eye contact. Gaz responded to the sound, pulling your hips closer to his own.
You were the first to pull a way a bit. He watched you closely, eyes moving all over your face.
Your core was pulsing, your body was warm.
"Jesus..." Gaz whispered, hand rubbing carefully along the side of your face, along your jaw. "M'gonna... m'gonna kiss you, okay? Is... is that okay?"
It was your turn to nod slowly, wetting your lips.
"Mhm." You hummed, trying to hold a poorly timed giggle at bay.
He exhaled deeply, breath fanning across your face before he leaned in and captured your lips with his own. It was tame, in the beginning. Then, he licked his tongue along the seam of your mouth and you opened for him, letting him explore. You and him both moaned in unison when your tongues connected, warm and solid, tasting both bitter from the weed and sweet from the cheap alcohol. His hand moved to the back of your head, bringing you closer, tilting you in a way that he could sink his tongue deeper.
The kiss was now the furthest from tame— all tongue, teeth and spit. The wet sounds, combined with his soft whimpering and your low whines, made the kiss much more pornographic than intended. You pressed your hands down his strong shoulders, feeling the muscle, scratching your nails against the cotton of his shirt.
The hand Gaz had on your lower back moved southward, brushing along the curve of your arse and squeezing the flesh there gently. He kneaded it through the material of your skirt while you ground yourself onto his lap.
You tried to pull away from the kiss, but he chased it; eyes still closed, seeking the heat of your mouth. You let him as he whined into your mouth, the hand on your arse moving back to your lower spine.
"Gaz..." you whispered once you finally broke your lips away from his. He blinked up at you, lips wet with your shared saliva, breath coming in shallow pants.
Wordlessly, you reached around and grabbed the hand that he had on your back. You moved it between the two of you, urging him beneath the front of your skirt. His eyes grew wide in excitement, letting you guide his hand to your underwear. He cupped your core, and, for the second time that night, you moaned in unison. You were wet and warm against the skin of his palm, even through the material of your underwear.
"Bloody hell..." He muttered, dipping his fingers past your underwear, dragging them lightly against you. His eyes flicked up to yours, trying to gauge your facial expressions as he made his touch firmer, sliding two fingers through your slicked folds.
Is this okay?, his deep brown eyes asked.
You hummed a moan, your eyes finding his, replying; obviously.
His two fingers languidly sunk into your cunt without resistance, your core slick and dripping, still maintaining a steady heartbeat, which made you squirm in his lap. He sunk his fingers to the knuckle and he let out a low whine before pulling them out and repeating his actions. You keened into him, chest flushed with his, tossing your head back as his fingers began a steady pace.
His thumb crept up your core and pressed against your clit, already puffy and swollen with your arousal. Gaz moved in slow circles, listening to your body, listening to your sounds. Much like your kiss, the sound of his fingers entering your hole were loud, even over the bass of the music. Wet. So fucking wet. You could feel the glide of his fingers, the arousal that leaked into your underwear.
Gaz had his mouth agape, watching raptly as you breathed out whine after whine, face inclined towards his ceiling. He kept you firmly in his lap, having moved a hand down to your hip to keep you steady. His other hand, knuckle deep in your sopping cunt, searched for the spot inside you that'd have you seeing stars.
He found it.
He knew he did when you choked on a gasp, a beautiful moan falling from your kiss-bruised lips. You tilted your head forward to look at him, and you whined a sickly sweet "Gaz" that had his pace increasing and his cock hardening.
"S-so good, Gaz, oh my god..." you whimpered, his fingers hitting that spongey spot within you that caused your tummy to tighten, thighs beginning to quiver against his.
He applied further pressure to your clit as the blunt force of his fingers nudged you closer to climax. He was still looking at you— admiring you— basking in how pretty you looked all for him.
"Cum on my fingers, baby, that's it," Gaz whispered, leaning forward to kiss you. It was gentle, and lasted for less than five seconds, before he was pulling away to suck a hickey onto your neck. "That's it, come on. Know you can do it... know you can, love, come on. Give it to me."
You fucking gave it to him alright.
"Mmm—Gaz—!" You moaned as you hurtled over the edge, your orgasm hitting you hard and hot. Your hole clamped around his fingers, making him grunt into your neck as he fucked your through it.
He pulled off of your neck. "That's it, good girl, there you go..."
He sounded equally as fucked as you as he thrusted his fingers into you once more, then retreated. You kissed him, your mouths moving without real intent, just swapping spit with weed-tainted tongues. While you did that, he pushed you backwards onto his bed, shifting you so your head rested on his satin pillow. He crawled over top of you, only breaking the kiss to drag his mouth down your neck.
"More." You whispered to him, a smile creeping along your face as you clamped your legs around his hips.
"Yeah?" Gaz leaned back on his heels. "More?"
"Pleaseeeee." You dragged out, ripping your shirt over your head as impatience bubbled inside you. He laughed when you tossed it across the room, then quickly unclasped your bra, also throwing it away.
Tits exposed, his eyes dropped from your face, jaw slackening.
"My eyes are up here, Garrick." You laughed.
The familiar words struck Gaz across the face. He smiled at you, leaning down without words to take one of your nipples into his mouth. You exhaled a pleasured sigh, holding his head carefully as he kissed and sucked along your left tit, before moving to the other. He rubbed your waist and hips as he did so, fingers skimming the band of your skirt.
Eventually, the pleasure mounting in your core was making you impatient, so you pushed him away with as much strength in your shaky arms as you could. Gaz just chuckled. He flipped your skirt up and slipped your drenched underwear down your legs, untangling them from your ankles and flinging them across the room.
He blew out a breath, catching sight of your cunt, slick folds fucking glistening in the moonlight.
He couldn't resist. He didn't even give you a warning.
He slid his head between your thighs and licked a stripe up your cunt, sucking briefly on your clit before dragging his tongue down your folds and thrusting into your leaking hole. You cried out, hand immediately coming to clasp the back of his head, hips bucking. His nose pressed to your clit as you did that, making you whine deeply. Your thighs fastened firm around his head. He groaned, continuing to fuck his tongue deeper into you.
Your mind was warm and full of Gaz, Gaz, Ga—
He moaned into your cunt, the vibrations making your tummy tighten.
"Fucking hell," he moaned again, and you gasped in return. "So fucking good, baby, holy—"
His tongue cut him off, stuffing back into your cunt, lapping up as much of your arousal as he could with messy slurps that made your cheeks sting with pleasure. You were far too gone to be embarrassed.
His hands gripped your thighs, indenting the soft flesh. He quickly swiped his tongue upwards, circling your clit and skimming his teeth across it.
"Fuck, Gaz," You keened. "M'not gonna last, please—"
"S'okay, love, s'okay, come on," he groaned into your cunt, tongue sliding back into your leaking hole. "Come on, baby, wanna taste more. Let me— f-fuck, baby— let me h-have more."
Your second orgasm, much like the first, hit you like a fucking freight train. As the chorus of whatever song it was downstairs reached it's tempo, you came in his mouth. Your thighs trapped him to your cunt as you rode the continuous waves of pleasure, his tongue solid inside you. You bucked against his face, orgasm simmering, his nose nudging your overstimulated bundle of nerves.
When you finally loosened your hold on him, he placed one last wet kiss to your swollen clit, before literally lunging over your body and slamming his mouth onto yours. Hastily, and with little words exchanged between the pair of you except for moaned curses, Gaz stripped. His clothes meshed with yours on the floor, and soon, the solid weight of his cock was in your hand as you helped guide it to your cunt, your legs parted for him.
He watched you stroke him, notching his cockhead at your dripping entrance with a soft giggle-turned whimper. He smiled, fucked out, as he took your hand and brought it back to your face. He made you lick it, before wrapping it back round his cock and moaning loudly. He used your hand to pump himself, his own fingers large over yours. Pearls of pre rolled from his tip, smearing against your fluttering hole.
His other hand adjusted the way your skirt was still flipped up over your lower tummy. He played with the material of it while you pumped his cock.
"Pretty..." he remarked, tugging at the soft fabric.
"Mmm... wore it for you." You drawled, nudging his sensitive tip through your slick folds.
He whined a fuck. "Did you now?"
"Mhm..."
He removed your hand from his cock, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. He wrapped his own hand around the base, languidly pushing the tip to your cunt. He slowly pushed in, and you whined, wrapping your arms around him and dragging your nails down his back. He moaned through gritted teeth as you sucked him in. His hips soon came flush to yours as he bottomed out with a deep utter of your name.
"C-can't believe I didn't... fucking hell... didn't do this sooner," he pulled out of you, slowly pushing back in. "Waited s-so long for this pretty cunt. So... so long."
He was taking his time fucking his cock into you. Your gummy walls tightened around him, your arousal easing the glide. He huffed each time the head of his cock reached far enough inside you that a small bulge appeared in the soft mound of you lower tummy.
"You feel so good, oh my god—" He whimpered.
"Please, Gaz, need more—" You whined. "Please, faster—"
His pace increased instantly. It wasn't the most graceful and rhythmic— possibly a factor of weed and alcohol, making you fight off a grin— but it was fucking good. He nailed that spot inside you with each thrust. You moaned his name, over and over, throat beginning to become sore. He fucked you to the drumming of the music downstairs, bed creaking. The room smelt of weed, sex, you and him. You could get high off that combination alone.
He was breathing hard, whimpering into your neck as he sucked another hickey. Your best friend's older brother. A moan slipped out of your mouth at that thought alone. What were you doing?
Whatever it was, you were fucking loving it.
"So good, Gaz. Feels so good." You told him through a whine, his cock slamming repeatedly into the plug of your womb, balls slapping against the curve of your arse.
He moved away from your neck, focusing now on your pretty face as he fucked you.
"Yeah? Feels good, love?" He asked, snaking a hand away from your hip to toy a finger against your puffy clit.
"S-so good, fuck—!" You almost screamed at the sensation, your nerves on fire.
He rutted into you, again and again, hooded eyes raking down your body with each arch of your back and buck of your hips. He loved how pretty you looked right now. All for him. His imagination these past few weeks had nothing on what he was looking at right now.
"Mmm that's it, good girl," he said lowly as he felt your cunt begin to pulse around him. He pulled all the way out and slammed back in, making you toss your head back and moan. He moaned too, your silk walls clinging too him. So needy. "Want you to cum, please, baby. You can do it. Want you to cum 'round my cock. Come on, give it to me."
Gladly, you came a third time.
"Gaz!" You moaned, pulling him tighter over you as your entire lower body spasmed, legs clamping around his waist and cunt squeezing around his cock. He groaned at the sight of you, at the feel of you, as your climax rocked through you, amplified by the swimming warmth in your brain. Cosy. Safe.
"Gaz..." You finished with a whimper, soft and barely audible. He kissed you, passionate and slow, continuing his pace, removing his finger from your sensitive clit.
"I know, I know, good girl, baby," he whispered, cooing. "Did so good. Almost there... almost there... good— girl—" he punctuated the good girl with heavy thrusts, making your mouth drop open.
It seemed like it had been mere seconds since your third orgasm when your fourth crept into your lower abdomen, coiling tight. You don't think a man has ever made you cum this many times.
You couldn't help it. It was so sudden that you had no time to warn him. You gushed around him, fourth orgasm leaking out of you with each rut of his cock. He groaned, deep and breathy, feeling the slick escaping from your cunt as he pounded into you, his thrusts only just beginning to falter.
"That's a good girl, there you go, feels so fucking good," he rambled. "M'gonna cum, holy fuck, m'gonna cum—"
He sounded so desperate. You kissed him.
He buried his cock to the hilt inside you, hips flushed with yours. As you kissed him, he came, moaning into your mouth. Warmth filled you deep, the sensation making you arch against him. Warm dribbles of his cum slowly seeped out of you as he softened, still buried inside you while his body dropped onto yours, face buried in your neck. He kissed you there as you kissed his forehead.
After a while of just holding each other and listening to the music downstairs, Gaz got up. The joint was basically lying dead in the ashtray, but he still ground away the remnants of live embers. He closed the window.
"You reckon someone heard us?" You asked lazily as he dipped into his bathroom, remerging a few moments later with a cloth.
"Doubt it," he said, dabbing the warm, wet cloth to your core, cleaning you gently. "They're too pissed to even notice we're gone."
He cleaned you, then discarded the cloth. Soon, he was shimmying a pair of his clean boxers up your legs, then grabbing a fresh tee and helping you into it. Then, boxers on, he slipped into bed beside you and pulled the covers up. He placed a kiss to your forehead, cheek, then finally your lips.
"Need anything?" He asked, rubbing his thumb across your cheekbone before kissing you softly again.
"Just you," you smiled at him. "All I need is you."
"Perfect," he smiled back. "All I need is you, too."
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lol x
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